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#also… only TWO (2)????? damn pages as send off????
kelin-is-writing · 23 days
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… I hate all this with the strength of a thousand suns. You deserved better, you really deserved way better than whatever this is…
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cleromancy · 7 months
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one thing i think people miss when trying to nail down the like nitty gritty of like-- okay. so post-crisis post-resurrection Jason's a hypocrite, right? and hes purposely fancast himself as the villain opposite bruce in utrh.
but also even while Jason's doing this he *has a point,* and he *knows it.* Jasons got a lot of big moral ideas hes spouting, and from what we see, he mostly only abides by *some* of them. so while you're like acknowledging that utrh/lost days jay is motivated by his emotions and doesn't act in ways that align with his moral principles, but also he *keeps bringing **up** those moral principles*, you start to wonder like. What the hell is going on in that big brain of yours jay.
and what i was getting at. the thing i think most people miss or forget when exploring that. is jasons appearance in outsiders 2003.
im looking through the tpb so im not giving you the exact issue numbers for any of these panels sorry but its 44-46 plus the annual.
but here is the crux of the matter:
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cutting for length!!
so whats going on here in outsiders! is that black lightning, aka Jefferson pierce, aka anissa pierces dad and one of the few really good dads in the dcu, got (basically) framed for murder by deathstroke; believed he (accidentally) actually did the murder; eventually turned himself in to serve his time in prison.
jason happens across this information entirely by accident, and goes out of his way to deliver that information to dickie, who has an on-again off-again relationship with being the leader of the outsiders at this point in time. and im just going to post a lot of it, both bc i like it and also so you see what Jason was going against JUST TO DELIVER THIS INFORMATION:
skipping the first page to save images but jason asks dick to meet up with him in Gotham; the next pages:
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im skipping a bit of really enjoyable fighting after that as well but pls know its there. jason asked dick to meet up and dick fully said okay ill come to your rendez-vous *just* to beat the shit out of you. and he was so valid for that. but this aint about him so lets get back to jason:
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why does jason bring this up + how does Jason come by this information? well
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ok. now youre as caught up as dick is.
some times fools and jackanapes say to me. but sisky why would jason do this and bring this information to dick. why would he try to break black lightning out of prison. why would he do such a thing when he is a known knave, neer do well, scoundrel, etc. to which i say HE TOLD YOU!!! HE TOLD YOU WHY HE DID IT
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JASON FUCKING VALUES THE *GOOD GUYS.*
(and also sidenote. winick is writing this so we have to assume he knows how competent and resourceful jason can be bc... as the guy who defined the character after his resurrection... he *made him that way.* so based on utrh we have to assume both that 1) jason could have pulled this prison break off solo and 2) jason *knows* he could pull it off solo...
but he also knows he's a Bad Guy now, and he realizes that *if* he sprung black lightning hed just fucking! turn himself back in! so jadon needs to convince some big goddamn heroes to do it....
so he goes to dick.)
((and also secondary sidenote. willis todd canoncially spent enough time in and out of prison that jason assumed hed wound up back there without telling him or catherine before she died and jason wound up squatting, and he only found out otherwise when he read the entry on the batcomputer on two-face.))
the point is. jason has a *lot* of moral ideas he is not, at this point in time, capable of living by for a variety of Jason Reasons, ill do more meta on that some other time. so he's inhabiting the bad guy role, but sometimes he keeps slipping and falling and accidentally caring about things, and...
god damn it dick, black lightning is one of the *good* guys. like *you're* one of the good guys. aren't you going to fucking help him??
i will probably elaborate on this more in the future as well. i just need to hit send rn LOL
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bahja-blix · 3 months
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😐💀 A Dumbass Appeared (Ask Edition) A post regarding Viv Stans (Part 2)
Before we begin I want to say that I will absolutely not be censoring the person in this for valid reasons. I'll however censor the people who are just regular visitors.
What brilliance unfolds in my ask box? They put themselves out there on purpose "because reason"... I guess?
Reminder This is the Internet, you put yourself out there, your out there forever and if you do something stupid or say something stupid, your idiocy might go viral enough where you get called out so don't expect people to cover you up when YOU did this To Yourself
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When I changed my bio to say "Bored ASF, Ask a Goth" I didn't mean be a god damn loser and make up shit on purpose for Bait reasons.
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Yes this is real and Yes these were sent by a Viv Stan and it's OBVIOUSLY Bait but I still wanted to review it just for fun because I was literally laughing my ass off and I ain't even high!! 🤣 that And the actual person was Serious about deleting their profile along with taking the time to remove one by one every like and post from their profile which is hilarious. I didn't even make a post at the time and they disappear Anyway 😂. So I had absolutely no option to respond regardless. Lol you didn't think I'd see that but I did LMAO. You took the time to send me this but couldn't take a couple seconds to block me right after so I don't see your profile disappear but I guess you're just that stupid. What stopped you from just deleting your account without going through lengths to type this shit up?
We start with Kona, a boot lickin Viv stan living in denial over the fact that their obviously a Viv Stan. I said I wasn't going to answer this but this is HORRIBLE 😂 How could I Not share!
I love how you literally sat here and took the time to go ""Anonymous"" on the first ask you sent me showing your name and profile only to turn around and send me Another ask and Then another begging to me down on your knees basically telling me to forget I saw your ass 🤣🤣🤣
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Omfgfgfggg🤣🤣🤣
I absolutely applaud how you "went out of your way to ALL these critics" like your some kinda Big Dawg white knighting for Viv telling us to "Listen up" because God Damnit "This town ain't Big Enough for the two of us" only to completely disappear off the face of the earth because you knew I saw your ass and you got scared.
I'm assuming you saw my last post where I said "Stick it" when referring to someone else that didn't agree with the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community...so you took it to heart and used it in the ask!? Did my post offend you 🥺🥺🥺? Omg I'm terribly sorry that I'm not a boot licking Viv Stan... I truly am (⁠◡⁠ ⁠ω⁠ ⁠◡⁠)
So... you attack Showtoonz for no reason other than *Double Checks Notes* ahh here we go "Having valid opinions" fresh off the table *chef kiss excuse* lol
LMAO they really said "Ass takes" omg no wayyy 😂
I also applaud how you basically said that the entirety of the helluva boss and hazbin hotel critical community an "embarrassment to our democracy" lol where that come from? and that the best argument you can come up with is that "*ughhh* your all "cOnSeRvAtIvEs" like did you travel across time and space through the Internet, see my page, and pretend to get triggered over the fact that I'm p***tically balanced in every direction?? Open minded if you will!? What does critiquing a show have to do with what's going on outside in the world? You do realize a lot of these people critiquing Viv Are in fact Democrats (me included in that spectrum) that Were fans of Viv and don't agree with Viv because she messes shit up on purpose 😂
Love how your one of those people that's obviously too far on the edge who are an actual embarrassment to society because this is the shit you put out there along with the
"YoUr NoT oNe Of Us" argument because what else would you pull out of your ass like legit your literally the type of person that likes to sniff your own fucking farts... Geez
I can't stop laughing 🤣
"One of Us! One of Us! Gooble gobble, Gooble gobble, One of Us! One of Us!" Like I can't. We Dems ain't gonna bow down to you and kiss your ass like your some kind of King so you might as well get over it buttercup
Regarding the last one for Bait reasons you decided to bring janky brained Joe into this... What a legend! You really showed us Dems the middle finger and went "Fuck ALL of You" 😂 Hey pal I'm NGL, but all I'm saying is that maybe you shouldn't be so into your own p***tical fart clouds so much because all that methane n shit will clog up your thinking.
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"OMG I've been exposed by my own "Brilliance" in taking down these critics, please don't expose me"
W H E E Z E !!!
this last bits my favorite part
"*Clears throat* "If you disagree with me I'm going to "delete my account"
(Welp I guess I disagree with you :D, have a nice day ^^ Adios!! 🤣) Wait? You were actually Serious??? 🤣🤣🤣
"run to Twitter" with all my problems (because of course your one of those losers) and "bitch" to my two followers that "Will raise all hell" down onto those "Antis" who are so Mean and Negative where my post is sure to go viral enough to take down the entire critical community and reap their rights away from them"
Without any proof, but instead your tail tucked between your legs as you run and hide.
PA THETIC
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Managed to get this on the way out. A Viv Stan in denial who's also a hypocrite. Oh but we "anti Viv Stan critics" have "ass takes" and "no valid criticism" You blindly support woomy... The same person who attacked multiple people in our communities for having valid opinions!
Fucking Cringe dude
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hughungrybear · 7 months
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Me while watching Last Twilight Ep. 3:
I swear if P'Aof makes me cry (again) in this episode, I might send him my health insurance bills for the things he's doing (done) on my mental health 😂
1. Of course, the scene starts with a promotion of the upcoming merch 😅 I see you, GMMTV. You're making me want them too 😅😅😅😅 Also, Mhok and Day are acting like they are life-long friends now. Day is just adorable. I can see why Mhok has the urge to just scoop him up 🤭🤭🤭
2. To channel @dribs-and-drabbles' energy, I think Mhok's "Fitness Leader" is very apt for this scene as he tries to help Day to improve his other senses in order to enjoy and live his life despite his disability. 😭 Also, I wonder what Mhok saw in Day's phone? 🤔🤔🤔
3. Look at Day, Mum and Night 😭😭😭 Babying him was just doing Day a disservice. Maybe that's why he was so angry during the first episode. <after five seconds> Gods damn. You should have at least let him eat first 😭😭😭
4. Oh, so it was Mhok who broke up with Porjai? Also, I'm not liking the new bf. Why is she the one saving up for the wedding? Where's my girl, Gee (Film) at? 😅
5. Ah, this is what I was talking about last ep. It seems nobody knows aside from Day's family (and Mhok) that he is essentially blind. Why did the family kept it a secret though??? It would mean Day will never be able to show his face to the public. That's just wild. <after five seconds> Oh my gods, I am crying again. Damn you, kind chancellor of Day's uni admissions 😭😭😭
6. Sidenote: I know this series is not based on any existing novel, but damn. Looking for a book in which Day and Mhok are supposed to be the main characters is (as always) so meta of P'Aof 😂 Also, ngl, that's some effective product promotion they got there - even a blind man can smell and taste the difference 😂😂😂
7. Ooof. Mhok is definitely feeling something already 😳 The man is actively blushing. He is probably grateful that Day cannot see him.
8. That's awfully sweet of Mhok to let Day find the book. Also, who the fvck tears off the last page of a book and sells it off to a second-hand shop? And a novel at that??? Heathens. 🤬
9. Ah, I knew Porjai's new bf cannot be trusted. But also, Mhok, you forgot something important. Day is in trouble 😭😭😭 This is like the "incident" all over again.
10. Oh, my god. The hot pink shirt has healing powers 😭😭😭😭 If not for the ridiculousness of that shirt's colour (and Mhok's mustache), I might have cried again 😅😅😅
11. Mum, don't make me hate you. Mhok was the only person who treated Day decently and has not babied him to the extent that he cannot even come down to the dinner table to eat. The fvck. 🤬
12. Wait, Mhok, now that Day is okay, you need to tell Porjai about her two-timing boyfriend. 🤬
I don't get it - why did Day looked so shooked when Mhok said "good night"? Isn't it a standard greeting? Also, based on the preview, Porjai asking Day the right questions 😂😂 And my girl, Gee, confirming to Day that Mhok is indeed "hot" LOL I kennat 😂😂😂
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CAN WE GET A ALBUMS YHEY WOULD FUCK WITH PART TWO? any characters u want!!
teehee i didn't know y'all rocked w the first - lmk if i missed anyone, or if you want a girls version/an akatsuki version - thank you so much for the request!! :)
Albums I Think They Would Fuck With 2
They: Choji, Kiba, Shino, Sai, Neji, Lee, Kankuro, Gaara, Shisui, Gai, Asuma, Yamato/Tenzo, Jiraiya
Summary: Which of my fav albums I think each of my fav Naruto men would enjoy the most - also a classic rock recommendation list (if you rock w the character, you'd probably get down to the album)
Fav not here? Try part 1, or send me a request!
Masterlist💿
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Choji
Without a Net (Live) by The Grateful Dead
Choji would be soooo salty that he never got to go to a Dead show, because he doesn't think their studio albums hold a candle to their live performances. That said, he would adore the Grateful Dead, without long and experimental their songs are (there's something to appreciate about not having to flip the record for an hour, instead of forty minutes).
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Kiba
Pet Sounds by The Beach Boys
Deadass, he would think Pet Sounds is a much better album than Sgt. Pepper, and there is no way to convince him otherwise. Kiba would want to be a Wilson brother.
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Shino
Parsley, Sage, Rosemary and Thyme by Simon & Garfunkel
Ugh, so relaxing, so dreamy, and so easy to sing along. Shino would so love this album, because it would relax him in a way that only Si & Garf could.
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Sai
Begin Here by The Zombies
Sai would love the shredding vocals and how full the music is, even the sad songs - the lyrics from multiple songs off this album would speak to him on multiple levels.
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Neji
Deliver by The Mamas and The Papas
Melancholic but gentle, while still delivering strong, hopeful messages? Yeah, pen Neji down rn.
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Lee
Love Grows & Other Gems by Edison Lighthouse
Screaming and crying over this - Lee would be so taken by the love songs, and he'd be whistling the darling melodies all the time. Even the ballads, Lee would be singing so beautifully.
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Kankuro
Thirty Three & 1/3 by George Harrison
Would love the jazz, love the symbolism, love George Harrison. Kankuro would find this album chock-full of bangers. Not one of these tunes would be skipped, not until Kankuro has experienced it (he also will turn back the needle if he felt he wasn't appreciating a song properly).
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Gaara
The Stranger (Legacy Edition) by Billy Joel
Needs to be the Legacy Edition, because Gaara fucks with the B-side heaviest (y'all need to indulge rn). He literally cries to Billy Joel's voice, and loves to forget about things while he listens to this album.
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Shisui
Moving by Peter, Paul and Mary
Happy cries to this album over memories that aren't even his. He wouldn't be able to stop himself from singing along, especially to Puff and Tiny Sparrow.
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Gai
Tommy by The Who
He would go an see the live show - and he would think that Tommy was a real person (before he sits down to chew on the possibility of a deaf, dumb, and blind kid being a pinball champion). Gai would still find the spirit of Tommy to be an inspiration and a testament to the power of youth.
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Asuma
Physical Graffiti by Led Zeppelin
Hot damn, what is there to say? Asuma would literally wish he was John Bonham (Jimmy Page would be a far too ambitious pick, and he would know that, but never admit it).
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Yamato/Tenzo
It Ain't Me Babe by The Turtles
Awe, sweetie!!! He would love this album for the love songs, but tell everyone he loved it for the revolution ballads (also lowk hates the stereo recordings, but finds mono too boring).
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Jiraiya
Monty Python Sings by the Monty Python troupe
Oh, he fucks with regular music too, of course. But these. These songs would make him laugh so hard, on top of being so strangely good, and he would fuck with the Monty Python movies so hard.
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the-scrappy-stinger · 8 months
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No! Don't do it! Don't do it, Dorky Man!
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He did it. But at least he did it from a stable place.
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His wife's supportive, if apprehensive. Stuff might turn out okay!
... you guys know the pattern by now. Plus this is a manga that takes place in the... 80s? Early 90s? Which means you know who the bad guy is.
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That's right, it's a real estate developer! At least, he's being friendly to an inexperienced business starter by offering supplies and appliances at a small discount. He's obviously evil. Good thing Dorky Man is writing KitKat a letter.
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I can just imagine that KitKat reads this and his very first instinct is "I gotta go scream at that guy."
Off he goes...
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Okay but KitKat going after this Dork feels like punching down. Guy clearly didn't practice. He doesn't even have timers for cooking his noodles. His first day is a wreck.
He then gets strongarmed, and the real estate developer has canceled his phone number.
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Finally KitKat shows up to yell at Dorky Man... as he's trying to jump off a bridge.
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And then ALSO tell him his food is shit.
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To save you a LOT of yelling panels, because it turns out I can only have 30 pictures per post, Kitakata is like "YOU are not a FUCKING PROFESSIONAL! You have no skills and didn't practice!", and he's right, but this mostly just makes Dorky Man insulted and he steals back the money he gave his wife to try to start up his business again.
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So he practices! Gets real fast, gets orders out super quick!
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Still sucks at cooking, which causes a riot in his restaurant, and then he somehow sets his noodle-boiling-machine on fire.
So his day is sucking.
He keeps this up for like... two weeks? Ish? Or something, it's hard to tell, and in the meantime he sells his house to keep buying ingredients and take out loan-shark rentals on restaurant equipment, his wife leaves him, and he calls KitKat for help.
KitKat is like "Lemme take you for some GOOD udon" and brings him to a mountaintop rest stop where you cook the noodles yourself, which I am DOWN FOR!
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Damn, this manga makes me hungry when KitKat isn't screaming. KitKat brought him by motorcycle, somehow, to the island of Shikoku! Where he sends Dorky Man on a Shikoku Udon Pilgrimage!
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(Made the analogy, forgetting this page.) Oh see, there you go.
Oh boy, time for the WEIRDLY RELEVANT TRAINING! This time, his training is...
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Dorky Man, as do all absolute dorks, SLAYS on DDR.
Okay now it's noodle time.
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Okay now it's noodle time.
He makes the udon dough delicious by stomping on it! It's so good that Dorky Man shoves his entire face in.
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Okay not really, but come on.
So Kitakata, who knows this guy is in debt and in trouble with the mafia, took the 2 MILLION YEN that the guy paid him and bought in a noodle cart.
Fuckin' 80s Miracle Bubble Economy, man. But anyway, the cart does great! Really sells well.
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Immediately he gets in trouble with a DIFFERENT mafia.
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And the mafioso is like "Well then, if it's delicious, we won't touch it" and so KitKat is like "You must make DELICIOUS UDON, you DORK!" And the Dork proceeds to make delicious udon.
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I think Dorkly Man is some kind of weird Agent Zero for echolalia.
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And so his... wife... un-leaves him, I guess? And it's a happy ending, where he has no house, is still in debt, and under the umbrella of a mafia crime boss.
Hooray.
Total length of this story arc: 8 ISSUES.
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goddamnwebcomics · 2 years
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5 Rejected Story Arcs from Webcomics
Webcomics are often made by amateurs. Changing artstyles, extremely blatant mouthpiece characters, insertions of creator’s overly specific fetishes and so forth. Of course, these are also present in “professional” media, but not to such big extent. And another thing featured in professional media are story arcs that are set up but don’t seem to go anywhere. 
Webcomics are often made with no clear mapped out plan ahead, which is why these elements tend to pop up a lot. Here’s five examples of story arcs, plotlines and even aspects of universe that just vanished off the face of the Earth as soon as they were mentioned.
Now, I am not going to include webcomics that abruptly ended like Warmage or webcomics that mostly are about random events like Carnivores. With that said, let’s dive in to this forgotten feast.
5. Chel’s ex-boyfriend
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This one is just weird. When Chel and Lexx are hanging out in a rooftop, suddenly they’re attacked by two feds, one of them being Chel’s ex-boyfriend Dirk. However, they’re forgotten and never mentioned again after the NEXT PAGE. There is no transistion, Lexx and Chel are still hanging out in the rooftop, and then leave on their own accord. This is so goddamn weird. It’s almost like Tiffany uploaded a page she wasn’t supposed to upload. Was this an april fools joke? Or did Tiffany genuinely think “fuck this” and just continued like this page never happened? I don’t blame her, since Chel having an ex who works for FBI is such a bullshit out of nowhere twist. Keith was introduced a lot more naturally.
4. Penelope the Pain
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Dominic Deegan’s school escapades are already such a huge mess, it’s no surprise Mookie introduced an element of the story that never was elaborated on. Penelope the Pain was a petitionmaking teacher who wanted Miranda Deegan to resign, because she couldn’t be present when Infernomancer attacked the school among other reasons. After arguing with Deegan for a while she sends rest of the school retard mob after them. Although she is brought up by Deegan’s dad later on, she and her anti-Miranda opinions never show up again although Miranda’s role and eventual retirement as the school headmistress become important plot point. It is probably for the better as these weird strawman characters who smear our heroes reputation just for the sake of smearing their reputations never went away, so Penelope wouldn’t have contributed much besides made the school arcs even more annoying.
3. Sarah’s Mystery Stalkers
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We all know how much Las Lindas loves to avoid actual conflict, so of course a story which has a shitton of conflict potential is immediately cancelled. After the end of the Festival Arc, we see this mysterious unseen figure stalking Sarah the cat, indicating that this figure has seen Sarah before. This could have been a source of intrigue and made us invested in Sarah and her backstory. However, these mystery stalkers are never seen or mentioned again. Was SoulKat unable to write a conflict that didn’t involve Mora yelling at everyone? Who knows. Sarah did get more focus after this but only on shitty filler arcs and that time she killed Digit. Just damn you, Soulkat.
2. Tiny Tiger Clone Factory
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This one is not from a webcomic riffed in this blog, but I include it here because it’s rather strange one, which is appropriate as it’s from SuperSaiyanCrash’s magnum opus Crash Bandicoot Retold 2. While Goku, cody and Jin are still in the academy of evil, they run into N. Brio, who has resurrected Tiny Tiger somehow. Tiny tells them that he is one of the millions of Tiny clones Brio keeps in his lab and no matter how many times he gets killed he’ll keep coming back. After the three Bandicoots turn saiyan and kick Tiny’s ass, Goku vows to destroy the lab, but this is never followed upon or even addressed. I guess if asked about this SSC will just say “oh they destroyed it off-screen”.
1. Mecha Maid’s Worsening ALS
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This one is at the top because it’s so fucking insulting. When Spinnerette was finding it’s legwork, it didn’t take long until the wacky lesbian robot Mecha Maid was established to be a tragic character, who was embarrassed by Heather’s blind idiocy, and her serious and debiliating condition, Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, also known as ALS disease. During the first true serious arc of this comic, Spinnerette has to take Mecha Maid to SUPERHERO HOSPITAL after she’s struck by lightning, where she speaks about her ALS getting worse as seen above. When Heather tries to joke about the situation she gets upset, and then she confesses that she loves Heather. Since then, besides “I CAN HEAR PAIN IN HER LAUGHTER” rest of this arc just becomes Spinny doing stupid shit to impress Mecha Maid yet they remain a couple.
Mecha Maid’s ALS becomes a central focus again during the Adrastea arc where Mecha Maid and Spinny visit a scientist who’s trying to find a cure or a treatment for it. After dealing with Adrastea’s edgy revenge plot, the story ends on a hopeful note where the scientist is willing to try again to find a working treatment. And for the rest of this comic’s days, much like Spinny and Mecha Maid’s relationship, Marilyn’s ALS remains stagnant. And, no. I can forgive rest of the examples in this list, but I can’t forgive this one because anyone who knows what ALS is knows that it’s a PROGRESSIVE CONDITION. It doesn’t help after this Mecha Maid has sex with Heather, falls into a frozen lake, and gets blasted with a noise bomb among other things, and she continues to be fine. Her suit can’t keep her alive forever, as one by one she has to continue working on the suit to improve it as her condition gets worse and worse. But, because Kraw is an idiot, we get no followup on any of this. This is why Coma Theory exists.
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fourth-quartet · 5 months
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For the fanfiction writing asks: 2, 4, 6, 11, 14, 17, 29, 34, 38, 50, 59, 68, 75, 79
🥰 hi sass <3
2. Where do you get your fic ideas?
Oh god. Everywhere? Sometimes a particular line in a scene will stick out to me, or a small detail. Sometimes it's just "I wonder what would happen if I stuck these two in a room together and didn't let them leave until (arbitrary goal)". Sometimes a song inspires it.
4. How do you choose which fics to write?
I... write all of them. 😅😅
6. What’s the last line you wrote?
“Draw attention to the labor assignments. Hurt a few of them, I don’t care.” Her eyes glittered and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips, a cold cruel smile that was far too fetching on her face. 
“And what will you do?” 
Bren smiled at her. “Research. It is, after all, what I do best.”
11. Do you write scenes in order, or do you jump around?
Mostly in order - but I also don't write chronologically a lot of the time, so that makes it a little more fun. If a scene is eating at me, I'll write it.
14. What is your favorite location and position to write in?
Between 3-6pm at the Starbucks down the street, between 9-11am camped out at a table at the campus library or dining hall, or between 8-11pm with the lights off in my room.
17. Do you have a writing routine?
I do! I have a candle I only burn when I'm writing. I put on the playlist for whatever project I'm working on. I reread the last bit I wrote, edit a page or two back. Then I delete a sentence and start from the sentence I just deleted.
29. What’s something about your writing that you’re proud of?
That I still do it. That I write for myself, with tropes I like, with characters I like. That I get compliments on dialogue and character.
34. How much of your personal life/experience do you include in your fics?
I have at least two fics published where I made the protagonist into a writer... Jokes aside, a decent amount. I can point to something I was working through in each fic I've published since 2015.
38. What is your most self-indulgent posted story?
exposed
50. How would you describe your writing style?
Dynamic. If I'm not actively trying, I don't think my writing stays terribly consistent across projects.
59. Have you participated in any fic events/writing challenges?  If yes, what were they and did you enjoy them?
My discord server made the "Fanfic Fests Anonymous" section just for me. There was a period where I was signed up for 37 at once. All of them were RPF events on Twitter, and I used to love them. I'm not sure I'd like them as much anymore, but I used to love working with prompts.
68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?
Oh boy, yes. Again and Again, We Killed a Dragon Last Night, A History of Heaven and Its Angels, as Understood by the Archangel Gabriel, once upon a damn-you-all, Mistakes Were Made, Bullet with Butterfly Wings, Sir?, Internecine, Avengers: A Deal with the Devil, and a long deleted Arrow fic that was pre-relationship Oliver/Malcolm and was so so good.
75. Is there a particular fic that readers gravitated towards that you didn’t expect?
stillness - the whole eldritch Gaon thing really hit something people wanted. Genuinely surprised me, for a fic I'm pretty sure I wrote in a couple of hours.
79. Do you have any writing advice you want to share?
Write for yourself. Write the things you want to read. It's okay to share an idea and have it not go anywhere. It's okay to have WIPs in your back pocket forever. It never hurts to re-read things. Always read.
Fanfiction Writing Asks | Send Me Asks
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the-doomed-witch · 1 year
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Ok, after some "post-reading-smut time alone"... now I can properly answer you with my fangirling attitude 🤭
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH - FINALLY!!!
Thank YOU for that. So damn good... SO FUCKING DAMN GOOOOOD. Tell me there is a part 2. Pretty please, tell me.. come on.. she is so dreamy to be a stand alone kind of thing.....
First: I cannot unsee Olsen in a air-hostess uniform... is burned in my mind.
Second: Holy mama...mommy/daddy play is just so.. 👌
Third: yes to oral in the crew seat, yep, yep.. totally worth the googling "where do they seat on an airplane" mishap...
Uuuh, I liked to know I have requests freedom! Don't give me too much opening, I will use it 🤭. Oh, I have so many... let me get my best one forward and I will send you later.. (claps excitedly)
About reading my fics... uhm.. hard pass. 😂 I am joking. I will get off anon and DM you one of this days - you are so nice to talk to 😊. I am writing one for Lizzie. But is far from over.
GOOGLE CAN BE SO DAMN STUPID! Like.. just ANSWER ME! Sometimes I feel like it is mansplaning me.. 😅
No new dehli? Really? Where I would stay is so very nice! My cousin lived there for... like... 10 years? Maybe is because it was a very fancy place 🤣. His photos are extraordinary! But thanks for the advice ;) I will definitely consider it when I am ready to board on a 24hour wanda-less flight 😂
Oh, I am sorry. I shouldn't have anticipated your suffering :x... I had nightmares about balance sheets not matching for years.. hahaha. I can TOTALLY see you doing 34 pages of ledgers by hand. That was a very weird phase in life for me :x.
Well, my biology is more into human anatomy and physiologic, buuut mitochondria being a gift from your mother ... who gots from you grandma, and after grandma.. and so on..is so poetic. Hahaha my geek feminist side showing...
Ok, NOW I AM INTERESTED. We need to exchange smuts indications one of this days.... 😗
My god, exactly!! And I thought I was in a very dark path when I got to know slight smut.. then I stumbled on midnightcrimson and Wanda a few weeks ago? Is safe to say my soul if on the line to take the lift down to hell. 🤣
(Arrrgh, how can I add a freaking image here?? I got a Lizzie doing yoga one!! 😒)
. .
JUBGBKDDJHJKGB 😭😭😭 i’m so so glad that you liked it anon! 🖤🖤 i’m not sure if i’ll have a part two, but i am planning a small drabble in continuation about the strap-on 🫣 still, not very sure because one thing abt me is i suck at series or multiple parts of a story 🥲
olsen in an air hostess uniform yes. yes exactly. you seriously get me. that’s what i had in my mind the whole time 🤤 sitting in the crew cabin and eating out wanda? COUNT ME IN!
also!!!!! i’ll be eagerly waiting for your request <333 & enthusiastically waiting to read your fics!! 🖤
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google a mansplainer? YOU ARE SO REAL FOR THIS. like my dudes don’t try to explain me shit #GenderfluidBossing (because girlbossing sounds very gender dysphoric to me hehe)
delhi has deteriorated a LOT over the time, the air quality index has risen to a very disturbing amount… if you plan on coming here then i suggest you to do a bit of a research, because it’s seriously dangerous. nothing is more dangerous than a flight with wanda tho. iykwim
34 pages is an understatement 😭🥲 the last time i wrote an accounts exam, i used up 70+ pages in three hours! queue this genre of taylor swift lyrics:
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human anatomy is my only strong topic in the entirety of biology. reminds me of the time i scored 50/50 in science in 7th grade 💀😭🤣 yeah no i’ll never forget that, it was the smartest in science i could ever be! but scientific poetry can consume my heart. the thing is, i love learning about science but for academic purposes is a no.
a geek feminist? you’re like a billion times more iconic to me. i am a geek feminist too. but more of in a way where they should allow people who menstruate to have considerate holidays and exam timings. having cramps while writing a stupid ass 20 mark test should be banned fr😐
the moment i started reading smut i only confirmed my place in hell. i haven’t spared myself. funny part is, i cannot even stop thinking about it 😩 sometimes when i cannot sleep i keep thinking abt smut …should i be concerned?
if you have a pinterest link to the image, you can link it to the text :)
(again, i’m so sorry, i geniunely forgot to answer the ask!)
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httpmentalbreakdown · 2 years
Text
I don’t know why this is in my head but I had to write headcannons for AATC. This has been on my mind for 2 weeks a whole damn month.
- Simon and Theodore want to start a Youtube channel together but they’re afraid Alvin will take over ( and he will lmao.) The bloopers and bromance from these smols 🥺
- Jeanette actually kissed Simon first, but they let their siblings think otherwise
- Eleanor teaches a youth zumba class at the rec
Theodore also attends this zumba class, but not just for the exercise
- Brittany does her makeup to True Crime podcast. Only when the murderer is a female though. She also wants to start a makeup commentary page on Youtube.
- Theodore has other interests than baking. He does karate classes after school. Thank you very much.
- Alvin can paint practically photo realistic paintings and he is pretty good at math if he tries. (People who are proficient in music are usually good at math)
- Brittany convinced Alvin to watch Euphoria with her. They so didn’t cry during the Ashtray scene and you can’t tell them otherwise. (They did)
- Eleanor starting wearing her hair out in high school. (Think mid-shoulder wavy blond with highlights) Brittany even cut her bangs for her.
- Jeanette wears a lot of Brandy Melville. Oversized sweaters, ripped jeans and doc martens are her comfort clothing
- Simon is really into photography and post a lot of these photos to his instagram.
- Alvin has a playlist for his life and he is always in MJ’s top 1% listeners on Spotify.
- Brittany acts like Olivia Rodrigo is overrated, but she secretly sings Good 4 U when she’s driving alone.
- Theodore post body positivity on his story because males can be insecure too.
- The kids all have a gc where they send memes, gifs and tiktoks
- Jeanette wants to be a fantasy/romance novelist among many other things
- Simon has perfect calligraphy style handwriting and his notes include color coding and little diagrams. (Think that pinterest note taking aesthetic)
- Eleanor will wear heels if they are the low strappy kind.
- Alvin is fluent in French by the time he graduates and wants to study abroad there. ( He’s still barely passing the other classes 😭)
- Brittany asked Alvin to teach her some French. He of course acted smug so they started arguing naturally. She didn’t think it was hot when he spoke French at all. (Psst. She does)
- Simon is pretty popular on Twitter for his snarky clap backs. He even rivals the Wendy Twitter page. ( if you know you know)
- Jeanette got prettiest eyes superlative in the yearbook. She blushed red the whole day. She didn’t know that one even existed.
- Simon is on the student council and has quite a bit of power over the yearbook.
- Theodore gets a little more witty and sassy as he gets older. Alvin was actually shocked when he told him off. (Eleanor is his girlfriend and Simon is his brother. I think that says everything.)
- Brittany loves drag and keeps up with drag race every season.
- Alvin still listens to vinyl, and frequently thrifts for records or drives across town to the nearest record store.
- Alvin and Brittany both co host the morning announcements. This means two opinionated hot heads commenting on everything. Even the principal kinda enjoys their banter.
- Eleanor and Alvin watch sports together, bet on players and shit talk the refs. Loser has to buy the other dinner. Let’s just say this is how Alvin often goes broke.
-Simon revamps his style in junior year. Think button ups, pants, trench coats and casual dress shoes or vans. Even Brittany is impressed.
- Jeanette really enjoys video games and sometimes she’ll stream on twitch. Alvin joins in every Friday.
- Theodore does ASMR cooking and baking tiktoks. Since he switched from vegetarian to vegan, he has become more inspired meal wise.
- Brittany, Jeanette and Eleanor have girls night every Saturday and rock, paper, scissors over 2000s rom coms.
- Alvin, Simon and Theodore like to play kiss, marry, kill in their shared study block . Alvin would so kiss Doja Cat.
- Brittany so played Glinda in the schools production of Wicked. She killed it of course.
- Alvin got into USC, NYU, Juilliard, and Manhattan School of Music.
- Eleanor tore her ACL and twisted her ankle during soccer. Theodore decorated her cast. Alvin wrote “clumsy ass” in gold sharpie.
- Simon is addicted to coffee and with his inventions keeping him up, he really needs it.
- Jeanette’s sophomore year includes the following changes: boobs, a tan, and curtain bang fringe and all in that order. For once in his life, Simon is speechless.
- Theodore hate watches reality tv with Brittany. They are currently rewatching ANTM
- Brittany sees Simon and Theodore as the brothers she never asked for but loves dearly. The feelings mutual
- Alvin got cheated on in freshman year. The group all had the same lunch every day. Let’s just say the others death glared her into oblivion. Even Theodore.
- Eleanor wears her letterman jacket with almost everything.
- Brittany makes her own clothes and embroiders other pieces. She applied to Parsons and crosses her fingers.
- Jeanette doesn’t enjoy Science as much as she used to. She just has so many other interests it gets pushed aside at times.
- Simon knows 5 languages and insults Alvin in every single one.
- The kids are all in chorus together, so means glee style diva offs between A + B, much to Simon, Jeanette, Theodore and Eleanor’s displeasure.
- Alvin and Brittany wrote the songs for the student produced school musical. The score is a chefs kiss.
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yesimwriting · 3 years
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Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?
 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol
also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 
also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 
--
They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.
But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.
The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.
You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.
I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.
"Oh, you're doing that thing."
I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"
"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."
I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."
"Clearly."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."
Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"
At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"
"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."
Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"
"That doesn't mea--"
"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"
"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.
Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.
I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.
It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.
The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.
"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."
"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"
"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."
Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."
"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"
Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."
"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"
"He just wanted to sell our cove--"
"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."
Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.
"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"
"I resent that--"
"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."
I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."
"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."
"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."
"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."
He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."
...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."
Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."
"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"
He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."
Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.
Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.
--
I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.
How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.
I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?
Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.
Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.
How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?
I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.
I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 
I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 
The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 
My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 
Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 
The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 
His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 
I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 
A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 
I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 
Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 
My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 
“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 
This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 
Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 
My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 
I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 
Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 
No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 
How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 
“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 
“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 
“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 
“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 
His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 
...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.
Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 
Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 
I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 
“You’re falling asleep.” 
I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 
“You’re impossible.” 
From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 
From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 
Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 
The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 
This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 
At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 
Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”
“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 
Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 
“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 
I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 
“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 
We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 
He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 
At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 
“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 
I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”
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taestefully-in-luv · 3 years
Text
The Island | KTH (Eight)
Summary: You’re just two strangers waking up in a room on a lonely island where a company in the business of love has placed you. They believe that thanks to their in depth research you two are destined soulmates. What happens when your ‘soulmate’ and you want nothing to do with each other but falling in love is the only way to leave?
Pairing: Taehyung x Female reader
Genre: strangers to lovers, very slight enemies to lovers, soulmates au, roommate au, slow burn, fluff, smut, angst, slight crack, and drama.
Word Count: 10.7k
Warnings: swearing, sexual tension (?) mentions of sex, someone gets punched by someone,
Notes: Enjoy this chapter guys:) Let me know if you want to be added to the taglist, or send an ask if just want to chat about the stories!:)
Taglist: @ggukkieland @707sblog @peacedreamer14 @dopedreamfireparty @everythingnamjoon @taebae19 @typicalgenzworld @mooniyooni @helenazbmrskai @justinetingball @jpeachytaev @marplest @calling-dips-on-j-hope @lecavivien @fancycollectormoon @mawwnsterr
© taestefully-in-luv
Previous --- Next
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The room you are in is as cold and empty as you feel. The one single table with 3 chairs, 2 on one side and the one you are currently occupying across from them. The room feels chilling like ghosts haunt it. Maybe they do, you think. The silence is truly deafening and the wait for these 2 other chairs to be filled makes you anxious. It’s been a few months since you have been back here and it makes you uncomfortable each time but you know little by little you are receiving answers.
Finally, after a long wait the heavy door to the room screeches open. And in comes a man and woman in professional clothing—he in a suit and the woman in a dress suit. They smile at you awkwardly like they feel pity. They both pull out their chair and take a seat.
“Have you found it yet? The island?” you’re quick to blurt out and they nervously look at one another before frowning.
“It isn’t that easy unfortunately Miss y/l/n. We’ve been in search of this company for over 50 years.” The woman taps her fingers on the table. “We have yet to find them or this island you speak of.”
You can’t help the scoff that escapes you as you roll your eyes to the side.
“What kind of intel agency is this? You can’t even find some lame ass fucking love company.” You spit out.
The man hardens his eyes at you as he takes a long, deep breath. Obviously trying to gather his patience.
“Here’s what we do know.” He begins. “They tapped your home, your cell, all of your accounts and spied on you for over a year. Doing their…” he pauses, biting his lip. “Research…”
“And drugged you and your parents the night of the kidnapping.” The woman picks up where he left off, “And then they drugged you again to return you home and also your parents…assuming so it wasn’t to wake them while they were in your home…” she gulps…she understands how invasive this all is.
“You didn’t think to set up cameras around my parent’s house? For when they would return me? You didn’t think to keep an eye—”
“We did.” The man clears his throat, “But they….” He drags his hand down his tired face, “This company is smart. They obviously know what they are doing. The night of your return the cameras we had set up miraculously stopped working.”
You can’t help the laughter that erupts from your body. You begin shaking your head in disbelief, your laughter dying when you realize how serious this is.
“This is fucking bullshit.” You say with a tight lip smile. “Anyway…do you…do you guys…did you look into what I asked of you?” your eyes slide to the side as you nervously pull at the ends of your hair.
“The man you were with? Kim Taehyung…yes, we looked into it. We have been working with Korea’s intel in hopes to solve this case. He has been working together with them. I cannot release any personal information though.” The woman eyes her partner and her frown deepens. “Miss y/l/n…I know this is difficult and you two have been through a lot together. But I am sure you can find a way to reach out—”
“I just wanted to know how he is doing is all.” You cut her off, “It’s fine.”
~~~~~
You stare at the letter in your hands, it’s an off white color and the font in quite fancy. Your parents let you see it a few weeks after you returned home but every night you take it in your hands and stare at it. Not knowing how to take it. The company sent it to them the day you disappeared…explaining the company’s goals. They sent photos of you and Taehyung every week to prove you were alive and well. Your parents said this is what kept them sane…trusting you were okay because they couldn’t—wouldn’t accept any other reality.
Your heart aches thinking of what your parents must have been through but not just them…your sister found out through your mom and dad about the situation and she grew so worried without you. When she found out you were returned home she immediately came to you, sobbing in your arms and hasn’t left you since.
You set the letter down and pick up the pile of photos on your night stand…it’s a thick stack. You begin shuffling through them and you feel like someone has stabbed you in the chest with a dull knife and they begin to carve your heart out. It’s slow and painful…they finally take your slow beating heart and squeeze it in their hands, blood spilling and spilling. Killing you.
Some photos are just of you but majority you are accompanied by Taehyung and seeing his smiling face makes you relieve the experience of getting your heart carved out of your chest.
You glance up at your ceiling as tears begin building in your eyes, you try to blink them back, your eyes opening and closing repeatedly. But it’s no use, not when you feel this lost and hopeless. Suddenly, there is knocking on your bedroom door and your father is walking in.
“Ready sweetie? Got the rest of your things?” He steps into the room, a worried expression on his face but he tries to hide it behind a forced smile. “We should get going.”
You quickly sniffle and nod your head, shoving the stack of photos and letter into your backpack before you’re swinging it over your shoulders.
“Yup, ready.”
It’s moving day. Thankfully you found another job in your old town that you lived in, you found a new, better apartment that is close to where you use to live, you finally are getting out of your parents hair.
“Alright let’s get this show on the road!” your dad pats you on the back as you walk past him. He’s got the truck loaded and ready to go for the couple hour drive. Back to the city!
~
“This place is so much nicer than your last!” Your sister sets a box down on your new kitchen counter, “You actually have a decent sized kitchen! Not that you really cook.” She laughs.
“Hey!” you whine, “I told you I learned quite a bit of cooking while on the island.”
“You also told me that your boyfriend cooked a lot too…so I’ll just assume he did all the work.” She teases and your face falls.
“He isn’t my boyfriend.” Your lips curls so far down that it’s almost comical but alas, it is not because you feel your eyes sting.
“Sorry…” your sister walks to the living room, joining you. She reaches for the box in your arms and sets it down on the floor. “y/n…just message him.”
“…I can’t.” you feel your chest start to burn, “The way things got left…I don’t know how to speak to him.” you admit. “and it’s been so long. If he hasn’t already moved on then he at least hates my guts.”
“Yeah I probably would too.” Your sister nods her head and you swat her arm.
“Thanks Ellie.” You deadpan. “Anyway, I just can’t.”
“He is probably waiting for you…he loves you.”
“You don’t know him?” you laugh quietly, “So how would you know?”
“I’ve seen the pictures of you two, in the moment pictures, and dude, he looks so taken with you in every single one.”
You can’t help the way your heart drops to your stomach. You told him you thought your feeling may not be real…those are some of your last words to him and that kills you. Without a doubt he has had to have moved on from you…why would he torture himself?
~
Later that night you are snuggled up in your bed with your sister snoozing beside you. You have your phone (Damn you missed this device) and are scrolling through Taehyung’s Instagram. You notice he posted a new group photo just 4 hours ago. You look at all the tags and see all his friends…Namjoon, Jin, Yoongi, Hobi, Jimin and Jungkook. But there are also a few girls in the photo. You notice the tag for Hana. You hate that your heart completely stops beating in your chest then suddenly starts racing. Hana. He’s hanging out with Hana? Wait, why are you surprised? You take a deep breath and click her name to view her page and then that’s when your heart really stops. Her most recent photo is of her and Taehyung, their faces smooshed together with wide smiles on their faces with the caption “Missed you.” With pink hearts.
She’s pretty. Really fucking pretty. No wonder Taehyung liked her. Liked? Or likes? Are they together now? They look awfully close. You feel your eyes sting for the millionth time this day and they begin to bubble with tears. This is your fault. You pushed him away, so far away, into another woman’s arms. You start to feel lost and hopeless again…you decide stalking Taehyung through social media probably isn’t the healthiest thing for you or your heart. You continue scrolling on Hana’s page…she has lots of photos with friends, pretty Korean scenery, selfies and more. She looks lively and beautiful, oh so fucking beautiful.
You exit the app and click your phone off. You squeeze your eyes shut and a few pathetic tears that you do not deserve slide out and down your face. You really need to move on, you really need to focus on you. But how can you when a huge part of you feels like it’s been ripped from you? Taehyung was a part of you and you think he still is. You feel crushed, fucking crushed. He is probably with Hana now and you absolutely cannot blame him.
Taehyung is doing fine. Just fine. With or without you. And that reality is setting in and it hurts. It fucking hurts. But you have no one to blame but yourself.
“Why are you doing this, huh? Things were so perfect.” He stops in front of you and pulls you up by the arms. Your chests almost touch from how close you are. “Unless…” he looks down at his feet, “You’re saying all of this because that’s how you feel. You’re the one unsure of your feelings. You’re the one who only likes me—loves me—because there’s no one else.” He looks into your eyes, searching for an answer.
“Maybe.” You finally say. And you wish you didn’t because Taehyung releases a shaky breath and his brows crease together as he forms the saddest smile you have ever seen. The canvas of his life is full of beautiful bright colors but you continue to splatter blue and grey paint all over it. The paint mixes together and drips down, a gloomy mess.
“Oh.” He steps back. “I see.” He takes another step back, carding his fingers through his hair. He looks into your eyes as his gloss over, “I’ll leave you alone then.” And he turns around and walks out of the room, leaving you behind.
Why does this scene replay in your mind every single day. Every single night. His sad, sad expression leaving an ever lasting imprint in your mind. You feel broken, but you also feel angry. How dare the company send you back when you and Taehyung have so much to resolve? What is the purpose? What are their intentions? You ball the sheets in your hands as you release breath after frustrated breath. What was the point of all this? Somewhere deep in your gut you feel like this isn’t over. You feel like the company still has some ties to you…you can’t explain it…just a gut feeling.
To say you hate yourself is an understatement. You truly can’t stand to even look yourself in the mirror. You ruined the best thing that has ever happened to you—Taehyung. But you should be happy, right? He’s doing well. He has his friends, his family, Hana. He is absolutely 100% doing just fine and you have to accept that.
~~~~~
“You can’t live like this dude.” Namjoon throws a trash bag on to Taehyung’s bed, signaling him to use it.
“Yeah…Joon is right.” Jimin starts picking up some trash off the floor…mostly empty food containers. “This is getting out of hand. I know things haven’t been easy—”
Jimin is cut off with Taehyung groaning loudly and dramatically. He lifts his head off his pillow, his face evident with sleep as he eyes his two friends in his apartment.
“Get up.” Namjoon lightly kicks the bed with his foot, “And open a damn window or something.”
“And maybe take a shower. You reek of this hangover I am sure you have…” Jimin sits down on the edge of the bed, his hand going to Taehyung’s back, rubbing it soothingly. “She isn’t coming around Tae.” Jimin says as softly as possible, “She isn’t—”
“We don’t know that.” Taehyung cuts him off, grumbling. “She could.”
“You said it yourself, she isn’t sure of her feelings…why aren’t you letting it go?” Namjoon sits down on the bed as well.
“I know her.” Taehyung begins to sit up from his place in bed, his hand flying up to his pounding head. “Fuck. I’m hungover.” He complains.
“You went too hard last night.” Jimin frowns, “Again.”
“So what? You think she lied to you? That she does love you?”
“She was just scared.” Taehyung whispers. “Trust me, I know her.” He repeats again.
Jimin and Namjoon share a look of pity mixed with concern. Jimin stands from the bed, taking the trash bag with him, he opens it up and starts filling it with the garbage around the apartment. Taehyung just watches Jimin clean up and he starts to feel a sense of guilt. Maybe he has been a handful the last few months.
Taehyung is trying his best though.
The unfamiliar bed along with the unfamiliar room was indication enough that Taehyung was in a place without you. It only took him halves of seconds to realize he was in his parents’ home in their spare room. A place he didn’t frequent very often. But he understood his situation right away. The island returned him home to Korea but suddenly this place feels like the last place like home.
When he made his existence known to his mother and father they cried over and over for their son. His father going on about his regrets, how he wishes he would have supported Taehyung more in following his own dreams and so on. His mother wishing she had cooked his favorite meal more often. They basically took his disappearance on the island as his death. At least that’s how Taehyung sees it.
His parents’ received the letter as well, even the photographs. They know all about you. They know that Taehyung is in love, they know Taehyung heart aches. They know everything. They were honestly rooting for you two…they could see how much love went on between the two of you even through pictures.
But as the days went on, as the weeks went on and as the months went on, Taehyung started to feel like he is withering away with every day that passed that you did not reach out to him. Did your time on the island with him mean nothing to you? Even if you ‘maybe’ weren’t in love with him like you claimed you were still friends for god’s sake. You still without a doubt had a powerful connection.
Things have been hard. Really fucking hard. But nothing is harder than the day when the Korean intel agency notified him that you were good, that you were okay. That you were home. But they could not release any personal information. You were home…you were okay…but you still have not reached out? He’s relieved you’re well but that also comes with the disappointment that you are choosing to stay to yourself.
“Yoongi wants to work on that new song tonight, what do you say?” Namjoon stands from the bed as well and makes his way into the small kitchen for a glass of water.
“Not in the mood.” Taehyung mumbles underneath his breath.
“Listen Taehyung…” Namjoon walks back into the room, his hands crossed over his chest as he looks at Taehyung with narrowed eyes.
“If you’re serious about this, being with her, that is. Then fucking do something about it.” Namjoon continues to stare down at him while Jimin keeps cleaning.
“I don’t have her number, I can’t find her anywhere on the internet and I barely know where she lives. What the fuck can I do?” Taehyung grits out, raising his voice just the slightest as he talks.
“….There has to be something.” Jimin speaks up. “A clue.”
“A fucking clue? What are we? Fucking detectives?” Taehyung throws his hands up, frustrated.
“Jimin’s right.” Namjoon uncrosses his arms and runs a hand through his hair, “She must have mentioned something, anything. You have to think.”
“You think I have the mental capability to think right now?” Taehyung questions with a bitter chuckle. “She doesn’t do much. She never mentioned some grand event she goes to every year, she didn’t mention what school she went to, she didn’t mention what company she worked for, she didn’t fucking mention anything. She stays to herself.” Then Taehyung’s eyes go wide.
“You know I use to go to this coffee place almost every single day. I miss it. That routine. It’s called ------------…a small, family owned shop. Only one of its kind. I would read, write, journal. Just relax. Every day.” You breathe out, missing your comfort spot.
Taehyung rushes to stand from the bed, he is quick to scoop Jimin up in his arms and place a dramatic kiss to his cheek.
“Jimin you fucking genius!” Taehyung suddenly remembered the night you had a panic attack. When you calmed down enough to speak you told him all the things you missed about your real life. Including some coffee place you would frequent on the regular. But he cannot remember the name of it for the life of him.
“What? What?” Jimin starts giggling, “Why?”
“A coffee shop! She used to go to a coffee shop!” Taehyung basically yells in excitement.
“Okay, what’s it called?” Namjoon smiles and immediately Taehyung expression turns sour.
“I…I don’t remember. But it was family owned, only one of its kind.”
Namjoon can’t help the frown that decorates his face but then he tries to smile.
“Better start doing your research lover boy.”
~
“Cozy Coffee. It’s in (Your city).” Taehyung slams a sheet of paper onto the bar top in front of Namjoon. “I found it.”
“What’d you find?” Jin asks from besides him, “Wait that place y/n goes to?”
Taehyung nods his head quickly with a wide ass smile adoring his face.
“Yup.”
“Now what, kid?” Yoongi brings his beer to his lips as he takes a generous sip. “You going to call that place and ask for her?” he laughs a little.
“No.” Taehyung straightens his back as he speaks. “I’m going there.”
“You’re…” Hobi begins but stops when he sees how serious Taehyung is.
“Wait, wait, wait.” Jungkook starts shaking his head. “This girl—”
“y/n.” Taehyung snaps.
“Right…” Jungkook gulps. “y/n…she ignores you these last 6 months and you are still trying to be with her?”
All of the boys share looks with one another, frowns on everyone’s faces.
“Jungkook is right—”
“Tae told her he would do whatever it takes…he also believes in her feelings. So let’s believe in him.” Jimin cuts in, his hand going to Taehyung’s shoulder and giving him a smile.
“Jimin is right…” Namjoon breathes out, “Let’s trust in our Taehyungie.”
“But don’t forget what she did to you Taehyung.” Jungkook whispers seriously. “You weren’t okay…”
Another day passes and still, nothing from you. Taehyung brings yet another bottle of soju to his mouth as he starts downing it. He feels his world collapsing around him. He feels how everything around him is cracking and breaking apart. But the most cracked, broken thing is him. He looks at himself in the mirror and stares into his empty eyes, these same eyes that used to gaze at you. These same eyes that saw your smile, laugh, cry. These same eyes that undressed you. These same eyes that saw you coming undone over and over. These same eyes.
Taehyung chugs back his drink, his eyes never leaving his reflection as he finishes the bottle. He made a mistake tonight, a drunken mistake but a mistake nonetheless. He slept with Hana. Taehyung, the boys and Hana and her girlfriends were all at the bar tonight and he just doesn’t see her that way. Yet, he was inside her just an hour ago. He slowly closes his eyes, regret and guilt filling his entire being. What the fuck did he do?
His life is all over the place, a mess, if you will. A big, fat messy mess. He got a new apartment, leaving his parents’ house and he doesn’t think he has cleaned it even once since moving in. He drowns in alcohol, he drowns in unfinished songs, he drowns in his friends concerns and mostly? He drowns in you.
He stares at your photographs an unhealthy amount. He has cried over your photos countless times, he has touched himself to them too. Somehow that is more satisfying than the sex he just shared with Hana. The empty fuck he just gave her haunts him in this very mirror. Did he betray you? Have you also fucked someone new? Have you moved on?
Taehyung stares at himself, hating what he sees. You’re doing this to him. He went from being miserably depressed to angry. He’s beginning to blame you for everything with rage. But as much as he wants to hate you—he does want to—he just can’t. He can’t gather that type of energy in your direction. He just can’t.
Hana looks very pretty tonight…she’s been trying extra hard lately, Taehyung thinks. She is always casually got a hand on his arm, she always finds a way to be standing next to him, talking to him, leaning into him. Taehyung isn’t stupid. She wants him still. She apparently dated during the 8 months he was gone but nothing serious came from it. And now here she is, sleeping on his bed as he drinks by himself in his bathroom mirror.
So many different thoughts have gone through Taehyung’s head. Is he hard to love? That’s the main question that came out of all of this. You spent every day with him for 8 months and you weren’t even sure of your feelings. Shouldn’t a person know by then? He’s trying to be understanding…he is trying so fucking hard to understand but how can he? When he is balls deep in love with you and he doesn’t have to question it at all.
He is spiraling, he is being sucked into a darkness that he can’t crawl out of. He looks at himself in the mirror again, his eyes narrowing at his own reflection—disgusted with what he sees. He grips the empty bottle of soju as he feels his eyes wet with tears. He grips on to the bottle harder and harder, tears now leaving his big brown eyes. He growls out, groaning in frustration as he lifts the bottle up and throws it at his mirror. Glass shattering everywhere.
Startled, Hana jumps from the bed and rushes to the loud sound, finding Taehyung just standing lifeless, continuing to eye himself in the broken mirror. He likes what he sees much better. The cracked glass making for a better reflection, a more accurate representation of what he truly sees when he views himself.
“What the fuck?!” Hana yells out, rushing to Taehyungs side. “Are you okay???”
Taehyung walks closer to the mirror and lightly slides his hand down the cracked mirror, his fingers careful not to get cut.
“No.” he answers honestly and quietly. “I’m not.”
“I’m fine, Jungkook.” Taehyung assures him, “At least I will be…when I see her.”
“What if she doesn’t want to see you?” Yoongi says quietly, worried for his friend. He brings his beer to the bar top and stares at the liquid.
“I’ll get to that when I get to that.” Taehyung sighs out…”I can’t let go of this until I know for sure.”
~~~~~~
Settling into your new job has been smooth, thankfully. It’s only been a few weeks but you can say you really like it. Your boss is an older woman, your coworkers seem nice and the work isn’t too taxing. Your apartment is starting to come together as well, only a few more boxes left to unpack. On the outside things are honestly going well…your life looks normal and put together. But on the inside you continue to fall apart.
“Come on!” Ellie whines, “Just give me one little, tiny, juicy detail.”
“Ew, no!” you laugh, “I have nothing to share!”
“Oh, bullshit.” Ellie takes a drag of her cigarette, blowing the smoke the other direction.
You two are sitting on your balcony, watching the evening sun set.
“You are trying to tell me you two didn’t fuck? Not even once?” Ellie gives you a knowing smile and you can’t help but laugh.
“Okay maybe once.”
“I call bullshit again.” Ellie starts to laugh, thrusting her hips forward theatrically, “I bet you two couldn’t keep your hands off each other.”
“Something like that.” You admit shyly.
“I don’t blame you. He looks so hot.” Ellie takes another puff of her cigarette. “What was he like in bed?”
“Ugh, Ellie.” You groan, “I don’t want to talk about this.”
“Afraid of getting horny thinking about it?” She chuckles and you roll your eyes.
“Fine, I’ll tell you one thing.” You hold one finger up, giving her a look that says you are serious. Ellie giggles, nodding her head in agreement.
“He’s…big.” You basically whisper.
“He’s what?”
“Shut up, you heard me.” You laugh, “First time I saw it he wasn’t even fully hard and I was impressed.” You smirk, feeling proud of Taehyung’s gorgeous dick.
“Damn girl. Nice.” Ellie nods in approval, “Did he know how to use it?”
“Ugh….yes.” you roll your eyes back, remembering the feel of his cock. “He did. Aaaannnd he is probably using it on his new girlfriend.” You sigh, feeling your heart break piece by piece in your chest.
“What? What do you mean???” Ellie puts her cigarette out in the ash tray, “New girlfriend?”
“Yeah.” You keep it short and simple. “Anyway, I really do not want to talk about him anymore.”
“…Yeah, okay. Sorry.”
You give your sister a sad, small smile and she returns it. You feel your phone buzz in your lap and you go to pick it up, you quite literally feel all the color drain from your face. Your heart stops completely. What the actual fuck? Why is he texting you? Him of all people?
~
Finally gathering the courage to buy his plane ticket, Taehyung begins packing for his trip. He got a roundtrip flight for one week. He has one week to find you. He’s starting to get nervous, really fucking nervous. He had all this confidence to do this but honestly? Over the last 6-7 months he has become quite insecure. You left him in shambles. He grew weak without you, he grew pathetic in his eyes.
“Make sure you bring plenty of underwear.” Jimin teases, helping Taehyung pack. “You never pack enough and somehow end up going commando.”
“Yeah, yeah.”
Taehyung is too nervous to even joke around, he is too nervous to even look at Jimin—his best friend—for more than a second because he is afraid he is going to see right through him.
“You’re nervous.” Jimin blurts out and Taehyung opens his mouth in shock. But should he be? Jimin is his best friend, he can read him like a book.
“Yeah…”
“I think you have every right to be.” Jimin pats him on the shoulder, “You have been through a lot…and so much is unknown.”
“Yeah….” Taehyung agrees, “I feel like I’m walking into this blind.”
“You kind of are.” Jimin admits quietly. “You kind of are.”
“Do you think…I’m making a mistake?” Taehyung sits down on his bed, messing with the blanket between his fingers.
“No.” Jimin answers honestly. “I am probably the one who has heard about y/n the most. I almost feel like I know her.” Jimin laughs, “And I think you’re right. She was scared. This company…fuck that company by the way, this company set you two up and tried to force love on you. Of course that’s going to fuck her up. Of course she is going to have her doubts…you can’t blame her Tae. Yeah, it’s fucked up she hasn’t reached out at all but dude…it’s a tricky situation.”
“I know…” Taehyung’s head falls into his hands, “Fuck…I know.”
“And…” Jimin sits down next to him, “I don’t want you to regret not looking for her, it sucks that it’s you doing everything, I can admit that. I wish she would grow some fucking balls and talk to you but looks like you got to do all the work buddy.”
“Yeah.”
~
Taehyung checks into some dingy hotel downtown in the city you live, the place is dark, gritty even. But it’s just one of the first places that was affordable that popped up when he was googling places to stay. He doesn’t totally mind, he doubts he will be spending much time in here. He receives his key from the girl at the front desk, she eyes him up and down, obviously liking what she sees.
Taehyung walks down a dark hallway to reach his room—he’s starting to feel like the main character in a horror movie. He reaches his door and unlocks it, opening it and shuffling inside with his luggage. The room smells dusty, the bed is small and the blanket thin. The room is loud with the AC unit blowing freezing air and the dark curtains don’t let in any light whatsoever.
He sets his luggage down on the carpet and sits on the bed…he takes his phone out and sends a text to his group chat that he made it alive.
Namjoon 4:02pm
Good luck man, we’re rooting for you.
Jungkook 4:02pm
Fingers crossed homie
Jin 4:03pm
Bring her back to Korea
Yoongi 4:03pm
He can’t just bring her back Jin
Hobi 4:03pm
I also vote he brings her back with him
Jimin 4:04pm
I agree, I want to meet the infamous y/n
Taehyung 4:04pm
Am I also allowed to vote that I want to bring her back with me?
Taehyung quietly laughs to himself as he clicks his phone off. He lays back on the bed and groans when he feels how hard the mattress is. But it doesn’t matter because he is here on a mission, a mission to find you and he wants to waste no time.
~
Day 1:
Taehyung wakes up early to grab a bite to eat at the diner next to the hotel, this place doesn’t even offer complimentary breakfast! The audacity. He orders pancakes but they definitely aren’t as good as yours.
Waking up and breathing the same city air you’re breathing makes Taehyung for the first time in 6 months—feel alive. Like being in the same place as you is slowly helping him regain some of his self back. He knows you are here. You live here. You walk these streets, you eat these foods, you breathe this air. The same fucking air he is breathing.
Nothing excites him and makes him more nauseas. He misses you. He wants to see you. But he is afraid at the same time. He’s so fucking terrified. How will you react? Are you okay? Do you really not love him? Have you moved on? Seeing someone new? His mind races as he cuts into these pancakes.
Taehyung pulls out his phone and checks the time…almost 7 am. He needs to hurry to the coffee place…because what if you stop by there on your way to work? Or maybe you don’t work right now and you go there just to chill? He doesn’t know but he knows he won’t miss a chance to see you.
Taehyung finishes up his plate of food and pays. He leaves the diner and starts walking towards Cozy Coffee, only a 15 minute walk. He inhales deeply, hoping to somehow get a whiff of you, he looks at all the flowers on the side of the sidewalks and thinks of you. Would you be interested in a bouquet of flowers? He recalls on your first unofficial first date he gave you a handful of flowers from the island and you liked it. Ugh, what is he thinking? All he needs to be worried about right now is fucking finding you.
Finally, Taehyung makes his way inside Cozy Coffee. It’s a pretty small place but big enough for a handful of people to be occupying the many tables. His eyes scan the area but they don’t come across you. He sighs and heads towards the counter to order a tea and take a seat at a table in the back near the restrooms.
He spends hours here in this spot. The entire day actually. No sign of you. And the owner has to literally escort him out when it is closing time. He walks back to the hotel with his head hanging low, he guesses today wasn’t a day for reading or writing.
Day 2:
These pancakes aren’t bad actually, not the second time around. Yours are still better, of course but he’s getting use to them. Maybe tomorrow he should try something different.
Taehyung walks leisurely towards the coffee shop, he somehow has this idea he might run into you on the street or something. But he doesn’t.
The coffee shop is a little less busy today, Taehyung goes inside, orders his tea and occupies the same table as yesterday. He pulls his backpack to his lap and brings out a notebook and pen, he decides he will work on song lyrics today.
Hours and hours pass, tea after tea is drank and still, no sign of you. Closing time approaches and he is once again, asked to leave. Taehyung nods in understanding, gathers his belongings and walks back to the hotel. Slowly of course, because deep down he thinks he just might run into you.
Day 3:
French toast today…not as good as the pancakes but still, pretty good. He wonders if you can make French toast? You never mentioned it. Taehyung realizes there is still so much he does not know about you. The thought kind of drives him crazy. He wants to know you. Know all of you. Know you better than anyone else.
The walk to the coffee shop is slow and enjoyable. The scenery is pretty as he strolls on the sidewalk, the flowers poking through the cement bring him a small level of joy for the day. Once he enters the shop, the owner gives him a smile. He orders his tea and makes his way to the back table, pulls out his notebook and starts writing his song lyrics.
On my pillow. Can’t get me tired. Sharing my fragile truth. That I hope the door is still open. Cause the window. Opened one time with you and me. Now my forever is falling down. Wondering if you’d want me now.
Taehyung sets his pen down taking a break from writing, he reaches for his tea and takes a few sips. The liquid has gone cold. He sighs out and lets the hours pass him by. Closing time approaches like it does every night and he is asked to leave.
Day 4:
He’s back to getting pancakes. He likes to pretend they are yours, that you made them for him. He likes to imagine a life where you make breakfast for him again. He likes to imagine a life where you’re just here again. It’s almost 7 am, he needs to head to the coffee shop. He strolls casually, wondering what you are up to on this Thursday morning. Are you finally going to make an appearance at Cozy Coffee? Are you running late for work? Are you in early today?
Taehyung enters the shop and the owner gives him a sweet smile and begins working on his tea. Taehyung feels grateful that it’s being made without him even ordering it yet, a smile adorning his face. He pays for the tea and makes his way to the his table, pulls out his notebook and continues working on his song.
I’m wondering are you my best friend? Feels like a river’s rushing through my mind. I wanna ask you if this is all just in my head. My heart is pounding tonight, I wonder if you are too good to be true. And would it be alright if I pulled you closer.
Taehyung lets hours and hours pass, his pen busy on his notebook paper. The lyrics coming to him so easily for the first time in months. He can’t help the sad smile that grows on his face as he reads and rereads his song lyrics.
Just like every day when the bell of the front door jingles his head shoots up to see who it is. Now is no different. A woman comes in and his heart almost stops because she looks like you at first glance. Taehyung groans at the disappointment. Because it’s not you.
Day 5:
Okay, he is back to French toast. It’s starting to grow on him, he definitely wants to ask you to make this for him. His imagination begins to run wild with dreams of making food with you again, kissing the side of your neck as he wraps his arms around your waist from behind you. Like the many times he has done it.
“Taehyung…” you whine as he nips your neck with his teeth. “I’m trying to concentrate on this recipe.”
“I’m trying to concentrate too.” Taehyung smirks against your soft skin, “On you.”
You can’t help the blush that begins spreading across your cheeks, his fingers dig into your hips and you moan out.
“Taehyung…”
“What is it baby?” he starts kissing your neck. “Want me to fuck you? Right here?” he digs his fingers deeper into your hips and you start grinding against him.
“Couch.” You breathe out. “I want to ride you.”
“Oh? You want to be in control? Maybe I will allow it this once.” He teases, his tongue licking a strip up to your ear, then he nibbles on the lobe.
Taehyung finds his pants getting tight as he recalls his memories with you. He misses kissing you, he misses touching you, he misses your scent, he misses your skin, your eyes, your lips.
Shit, it’s past 7. He needs to hurry to Cozy’s.
He’s seated in his spot with his tea and notebook out, he swears he is almost finished with this song…the chorus needs some work but he thinks he’s got it. Something about being ships in the night, but somehow he doesn’t have the courage to finish he song, he doesn’t want that to be his relationship with you.
Night time comes and still no sign of you. Tomorrow is his last day and he is starting to freak out. Where are you? He thought you came here all the time? Why aren’t you coming? Are you okay? He is asked to leave once again and he does.
Day 6:
Back to pancakes. Back to strolling on the side walk. Back to Cozy’s. Back to his tea. Back to his spot.
Taehyung feels the nerves in his body multiplying with every shaky breath he takes. Today is the last night, his flight is in the morning and he has made no progress on finding you. This place being his only hint.
“Excuse me…” Taehyung walks up to the counter and greets the owner.
“What can I do for you young man? Another tea?” he softly smiles at Taehyung but Taehyung shakes his head.
“I have a question…” he begins. “Do you know y/n y/l/n?”
“y/n???” the old man begins to smile after expressing his confusion, “Of course I do, that girl has been coming here for years.” He starts wiping down the counter with a rag. “Why? You looking for her? You aren’t some creepy ex-boyfriend are you?”
“No, no.” Taehyung laughs. “But I am looking for her…she usually comes here right?” he nervously chuckles.
“Usually. But she started a new job recently that has kept her a little busy…” the old man continues to wipe down the counter. “But she was in just last week! And It’s Saturday!” he cheers, “She always comes to write on weekends.”
Taehyung lights up at that. “Really??” he shows the old man a wide, boxy grin. He feels like he hasn’t smiled like that in what seems like forever. All because there is finally a chance he might see you.
“Oh…” The old man stops wiping to get a good look at Taehyung. “You look like a man in love.”
Taehyung’s eyes widen just a bit before he smiles, “Do I?”
The shop is busy today. Taehyung sits in his usual spot, writing and doodling in his notebook, his head lifting up quickly every time the door jingles. It’s never you though. It is already 6pm and there is still no sign on you and Taehyung hates that he is starting to lose hope. Are you not coming? He doesn’t have much time left.
Taehyung sits here, his pen between his lips as he thinks about you. He thinks about the first time he saw you…he really thought you were some girl he might have drunkenly hooked up with…he remembers your expression, how shocked, how scared, how overwhelmed you were. He wishes now he could go back in time and hug you. Tell you he’s with you, together. That you aren’t alone. Taehyung wishes he could kiss your temple, bring you in close and make you feel okay. He recalls the first time you two really interacted.
“We need to find out what’s going on.” Taehyung takes a deep breath, lifting his head up. He locks his eyes with yours again but you break contact to look at your feet.
“We don’t know anything…would if it’s not safe?” you quietly try to reason.
“Exactly, we don’t know anything and that’s a problem. You don’t expect us to stay in this room forever, do you?”
He has a point and you know it. You want to follow him out of this room but your feet seem to be glued to the floor.
“Well, no. But—”
“Didn’t think so.” He turns away from you, his body shuffling towards the bedrooms door but before he can become out of reach your hand flies to his shirt sleeve, tugging it softly.
“Wait! Just hold on—” Your voice wavers and Taehyung rolls his eyes. Rolls his fucking eyes at you!
“Listen, come. Or don’t. I don’t really care.” Taehyung releases your hold on his shirt, unsticking your fingers and throwing your hand towards your body. “Decide.” He states before swiftly turning around to head towards the door.
Oh. So this guy is a fucking asshole. Noted.
You end up following him because although he was rude about it, feeling someone’s touch when you feel so scared was slightly comforting and yes, you are aware of how fucking pathetic that is.
Taehyung stands in front of the door, his hand reaching for the knob when he turns his head to say, “Just trust me.”
And now you are the one rolling your eyes. Trust him? You just met the dude! 10 minutes ago his name was Future Murderer. How could you possibly trust this asshole?
“How can I trust you? I literally just met you.” The scowl on your face deepens when he smirks.
“Are you always such a fucking baby?”
“Are you always such a fucking baby?” you mock, eyes rolling so far into the back of your head.
Taehyung can’t help but chuckle. God, you were such a brat. It’s almost 7 now…still no sign of you.
“Maybe if you weren’t always following me, they would have sent us home by now.” Taehyung states bitterly as he puts his slice of bread on top of his now made sandwich.
“I’m not following you.” You roll your eyes, “I have to eat too.”
“You can’t wait until I’m done?”
“You look pretty done to me…” You point at his sandwich and he scoffs.
“I still have to eat it.”
“Eat in your room for all I care.”
You and Taehyung are getting along just fine…maybe not swimmingly but like, fine. It’s been a couple weeks and you have mostly stayed out of one another’s way but it’s moments like this that you end up interacting.
“I think I’ll eat at the table, thanks.” He grabs his sandwich and makes his way to the dining room table, sitting down with a thump. He aggressively picks up his sandwich and takes a bite while showing you a smart ass smile.
“Fantastic,” you state, “Me too.” You finish pouring milk into your cereal bowl and set it back inside the fridge. You dramatically make your way over to the table as well, giving him a wide grin as you sit down in front of him. You slightly slam your bowl down on the table, some milk dribbling over the edge of the bowl and Taehyung snarls.
“Great, you’re making a fucking mess.”
“If you went up and ate in you room you would have no idea about this mess.”
“But you still would have made this mess?”
“Ignorance is bliss, Taehyung.”
“You’re such a…” he stops, setting his lips into a firm line and you lean your head forward, clearly curious about what you are.
“Such a…?” you blink at him repeatedly and his lips curve upward into a charming smile.
“A fucking brat.” Taehyung grabs his sandwich again and takes an obnoxious bite while grinning and you give him your best annoyed eye roll.
Taehyung continues to chuckles as he goes down memory lane…he does regret being mean to you at first but god, you truly were a fucking brat. But he laughs about it now, loving every single memory he shares with you.
The door jingles and he shoots his head up, hoping it is you. But still, just like every other fucking time—it’s not.
Taehyung groans into his notebook, feeling lost and frustrated. What’s he going to do if you don’t show? He’s trying here. Is the universe really that cruel? And suddenly the door jingles again, but he doesn’t look up, he knows it isn’t you.
“Hi Mister Jones!”
Oh. Oh. That voice. That voice belongs to you. Taehyung whips his head up and there you are. You are standing at the doors entrance with a nervous smile on your face, why are you nervous? You are wearing jeans and a oversized t shirt, a casual but cute look. And Taehyung is falling in love with you. Seeing you in the real world for the first time has him frozen in place.
“The usual?”
“Yeah.” You reply calmly, glancing at the empty table at the front of the shop. You pull a chair out and take a seat, your back to Taehyung. He is still frozen. He all of the sudden feels unprepared for this. He all of the sudden feels sick. He clenches his jaw as he watches your back. You are here, living your life without even think of him aren’t you? Taehyung swallows down his anger now. He has to. Anger won’t do him any good.
He takes long breath after long breath trying to compose himself and find his confidence to go up to you and confront you. He blinks back his growing tears of frustration and stands from his table, the chair screeching against the wooden floors.
He stands here, frozen again. What if you really do not want to see him? That this was all intentional? He starts to feel sick again. He squeezes his eyes shut as he tries to get rid of the feeling of nausea.
“Taehyung…” you whisper his name, “I don’t want to lose you.”
“You think having feelings for me means that’s it? That it’s the end? Baby, it would only be the beginning.” Taehyung leans down again as he caresses your face. “I know you’re scared. I know you have trauma that you’re still getting through. I know your ex fucked you up. But I’m not him. I’m Taehyung. I’m…fuck, I don’t know. y/n, please just open your heart to me.” Taehyung looks at you with so much compassion that it physically hurts.
“I know,” your voice shakes, “I know you aren’t him, Tae.” You take his hand in yours, “I do like you.” You finally admit, shutting your eyes.
“Look at me.” Taehyung commands, “Look at me babe.”
You slowly open your eyes again, gazing into his dark ones and you feel yourself grow warmer and warmer.
“I’m only looking at you.”
Taehyung quickly opens his eyes as he finds his resolve. You love him. He knows it. He feels it. You wanted him, just like how he wanted you—wants you.
He nods his head, trying to pump himself up, about to gain the courage to walk to you when the door jingles again and a man walks in. A man that immediately looks at you and smiles.
This man takes a seat across from you at the small table and Taehyung feels his heart halting in his chest. He feels himself grow warm, he feels himself grow the company of something evil, something green. He feels himself grow incredibly fucking jealous. So you do have someone. You moved on. You have someone, someone that is not him. Taehyung slowly plops back down in his chair, his mouth slightly open as he watches this man talk and smile at you.
But suddenly, Taehyung notices how tense you become. How you grip on to your purse harder and harder with every word this man speaks. He can sense you from here…something is wrong. Who is this man? Why is he making you so uncomfortable? Is this not a date? Taehyung isn’t sure what to do. He could be reading this all wrong, he could be imagining this for his own sake. He could be creating this world where you don’t love anyone but him.
But then you stand from your chair abruptly and storm out of the shop, this man desperately tries to grab for you and quickly follows after you. Taehyung stands from his chair as well, already racing towards the shops door, in search of you. He didn’t even think about it, he just acted on instinct.
“y/n!” the man calls out after you but you continue to speed walk away until you feel a hand grab at your arm. You are quick to turn around, ready to give him an earful when your face goes completely pale.
“T-Taehyung…?” you stutter out, the shock riding in waves throughout your entire body.
“I said wait baby!” The man jogs up to you and Taehyung, Taehyung releases his hold on your arm and looks between you and this man.
“Baby?” Taehyung whispers out, already feeling his heart crack inside his chest. Maybe this is just a lovers quarrel. He continues looking between you and this man and you can see the hurt plastered all over Taehyung’s face.
“No—”
“Who is this?” The man stands between you and Taehyung. “Who are you?”
“Ben, you can leave. I think I have heard enough.” You spit out and Taehyung’s eyes widen before they are narrowing at you.
“Ben…?” he asks, not even sparing Ben a glance, only focusing on you. “Why are you with him y/n?” Taehyung’s voice goes dangerously low. “I asked, why are you with him?”
“He was just—”
“I was just talking with my girl. Is that a problem?”
“Your girl?” You and Taehyung ask in unison.
“You’re fucking kidding, right y/n?” Taehyung’s face is taken over with a scowl. “There’s no fucking way you are seeing this asshole again.”
“It’s not—”
“Asshole?” Ben scoffs, “Who the fuck are you?”
Taehyung doesn’t even look Bens way as he eyes you, he stuffs his hands into his front pockets and stares at you with his hard expression.
“Answer me.” He commands. “Now.”
“Listen buddy—” Ben begins but Taehyung just a holds a hand up in front of Bens face and tilts his head at you.
“I said, now.” Taehyung finally lowers his hand, then he is feeling his body being shove backward.
“I said who the fuck are you?” Ben pushes Taehyung, his hands still on his chest at the collar of his shirt. “How do you know my girl? y/n…you been fucking other men?”
“I’m not your fucking girl Ben.” You finally snap out of your daze, “I said leave.”
Ben lets go of Taehyung shirt to face you, he walks closer and closer until his feet are practically touching your own.
“Sweetheart I said I was sorry…” Ben tries to caress your face but you smack his hand away.
“Don’t fucking touch me.” You spit out, “Ever.”
Taehyung eyes the both of you with curiosity. What’s going on here? Are you with him or aren’t you? You notice Taehyung’s confused expression and move towards him to begin explaining.
“Ben is just here to explain why he did what he did…I don’t know why I agreed…but—”
“I’ve heard enough.” Taehyung stops you, he walks closer to you. “He’s bothering you?”
“I ain’t bothering anyone you fucking dick. And you never answered my question—who the fuck are—”
Your eyes are as wide as saucers and you watch the collision of Taehyung’s fist to Ben’s face. You swear you are witnessing it in slow motion, the way his fist crashes into the side of Bens jaw. The way Ben stumbles back and falls to the pavement. The way Taehyung grits his teeth as he brings his fist back to his own body. Did Taehyung just fucking punch your ex-boyfriend in the fucking face?
“She said to fucking leave.” Taehyung growls, “Now.”
“Taehyung!” you rush to his side, immediately reaching for his fist and inspecting it for any damage. You are hit with something massive…like the grandest bolt of electricity the moment your hand touches his. You try your hardest to ignore it, to ignore the fire that caught light, the raging fire that burns so wildly in your chest.
“Come. Come with me.” You say in panic, ignoring the fact that Ben lays on the concrete, probably knocked the fuck out. You hold on to Taehyung’s hand tightly as you lead him to the parking lot until you’re at your car. You hurry to let go of his hand, feeling so fucking nervous. What the hell is happening? Everything with Ben happened so fast that you haven’t even processed the fact that Taehyung is here. Here with you. In your city. In this parking lot. At your car.
“Tae—”
You stop before you can even finish his name. He looks at you with something you have never seen before. He goes to open his mouth but he stops himself, not knowing what the right thing to say is.
“I don’t know what to say anymore now that I am with you.” Taehyung finally says after a long while, his eyes are wet and his expression is troubled.
“I thought I would get here and I would tell you I am ready to make this work, that I missed you, that I love you. But now…seeing you. Really seeing you, I don’t know anymore.” He admits. “I think I am angry with you.” He says softly. “Really fucking angry.”
“Tae—”
“No.” he moves his head to the side, his eyes down at his shoes. “Let me speak. I have prepared a whole speech for you…but now, I don’t think I would mean any of the words.” He shuts his eyes, a tear escaping. “Did you go too far? Too far in hurting me?” he whispers. “Did you ruin me?”
You start breathing heavily, not knowing how to take his words. Why is he here?
“I had to fucking search for you. But did you even want to be found?” he questions you softly.
“Taehyung.” You say firmly. “I—”
“Am I a fool?” He chokes out, “A fool for doing this? Coming all the way here…sitting at this coffee place every single day waiting for you like the pathetic man that I am.” Another tear slips.
“Can I talk now?” you whisper. “Please?”
Taehyung gulps down his spit, anticipating what you might say. He gestures for you to speak and you take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry I didn’t reach out…” you begin, your chest getting tighter and tighter. “Every day that passed it got harder and harder to do it. If I’m being honest I stalked your account…” you admit with a bitter laugh, “You seemed happy. I wasn’t even sure you wanted me to reach out. Then Hana…”
“Hana?” Taehyung scrunches his brows together, “What’s Hana got to do with this?”
“You two are together aren’t you? I know, Taehyung.” You swallow hard.
Taehyung shakes his head in confusion, how do you know about Hana? You know he slept with her or?
“It was only one time.” Taehyung admits quietly…”but how do you know about that?”
“She posted you on her Instagram. I just assumed.” You say dryly, feeling a pang in your chest as you look at him. So he did get with her. You fucking knew it.
“Why are you here Taehyung?”
“I was here to tell you I love you. I want to make this work.” He says bluntly.
“Was?” you whisper and he nods.
“Now that I am here and I see you, I know I fucking love you still. But I think I’m lost and confused right now.” He admits between bated breaths. “I was so nervous to see you and to be honest looking at you now…I still feel nervous. Like, I could throw up.”
“I feel that way too.” You admit.
“You hurt me, y/n.” he steps closer to you, his gaze is dark and unwavering. “Can I forgive you?” he whispers and you choke back a sob. “Do you even love me back?...That’s also a main problem here.”
“I don’t know what to say.” You breathe out roughly, “I’m sorry for our last conversation on the island.”
“Are you?” he takes another step. “Are you really?”
“Yes, Tae…I …I…”
“You? You?” Another step.
“I was so scared, I was so confused.” You take a step back, but he continues walking towards you. “ But I was wrong.”
“Wrong about what?” he steps closer. “About that ‘maybe’ hmm?” he steps even closer until he is breathing the same zone of air as you. He reaches for your jaw with his hand and tilts your head up towards him. “I could have fucking told you that.”
“Taehyung…” you don’t mean to whimper, but you do. You fucking do. “I’m sorry. It just got so hard to talk to you but I have thought about you every second of every day.”
“Every second?” he scoffs, “Even as you were having coffee with fucking Ben?”
“It seriously isn’t what it looks like…” you rush to say, “He wouldn’t stop pestering me.”
“Tell me how you feel y/n. Right fucking now.” He roughly commands, his fingers still on your jaw.
“I—”
“I want everything, every detail. I want to know exactly what’s going on in this brain of yours.” Taehyung looks at you with hard eyes. “I want the truth.”
You scrunch your face up as you try not to cry, you feel so many overwhelming feelings all at once. You don’t know what to say. You love him. But is it that simple? “I…” You gulp.
“You?” his eyes soften just the slightest, “Just talk to me babe.” His voice loses all its edge as you begin to silently cry. His thumb wipes away your falling tears. “Just talk to me.”
“I miss you so fucking much.” Is the first thing that slips out of your mouth, “You have no idea…” you sob.
“If anyone has an idea, it’s me.” He chuckles bitterly.
“I let time pass me by Tae, I regret it so much. But as the seconds ticked by I knew I was losing my window of opportunity. And before I knew it 6 months had passed.” You choke, “I am so, so sorry.” You stare into his dark eyes. “The company did me a favor.” You laugh, “They gave me you. I fell in love with you, Taehyung. I just…I’m so sorry I doubted myself, doubted you.”
Taehyung’s features soften as he listens to you, he feels himself grow weak. Especially with his fingers touching your skin. He pulls back from you and leans against your car.
“Are you still in love with me?” he asks, his voice barely above a whisper.
“Yes.” You sniffle, wiping your face of your tears. “I think I always will be, even if you decide you hate me.”
“I wish I could hate you.” Taehyung throws his head back, “It would make this easier, I wouldn’t even be here.”
“Make what easier?”
“Leaving you behind.” He says quietly, “Leaving us behind.”
Your body begins to shake as more tears escape you, you feel the heavy weight of his words fucking crush you. He wants nothing to do with you. He doesn’t want you anymore. You fucked up too badly. Taehyung watches as you sob for several minutes, his eyes never leaving your flushed face. He clicks his tongue and puts a hand on your shoulder and rubs it.
“That’s what I think I should do.” He says, “But I can’t.”
Wait, what?
“You c-can’t?”
“I love you too much. And I all my friends voted I bring you back to Korea.” He says with a small smirk.
“But you?” you cry, “You said you are leaving me?”
“I was thinking aloud. And to be honest I wanted you to suffer a bit.” He says with his dark gaze. “I wanted to punish you just a little.”
Your wide eyes narrow at him and you can’t help but cry harder. “You fucking sadist.”
“Maybe a little.” He admits with a growing sly smile. “We have a lot to talk about.” He says after a moment. “Do you want to make this work with me or not?”
“Are you serious? Even after all of this you still want to be with me?”
“We’re soulmates, baby. Or did you forget?”
“You fucking smartass.” You wipe at your face, wiping your snots on the collar of your t shirt. “But yes…I want to make this work.”
“Spend a couple weeks with me in Korea. I want to start over with you. Take things slow. I am still angry. But I fucking love you.”
“A couple weeks in Korea?” you shake your head, “I can’t take off work that long.”
“I am not going to beg you.” Taehyung warns, “But please.”
A couple weeks in Korea? With Taehyung? Meeting his family? His friends? Starting over? Going slow? Can you two really do this?
287 notes · View notes
theroomofreq · 3 years
Note
can you give me muggle jily recs pleaaseeee <3 :D
HOW MANY HIGH-QUALITY MUGGLE JILY FICS ARE THERE?? TOO MANY TO COUNT. *cracks knuckles* BUT I am here for the challenge. Jily AUs are my JAM.
Again, shoutout to our amazing @jilyarchive friends who tag every wonderful muggle jily au they come across. here is the link that will take you to their tags page. You'll find links to specific tropes and AUs :')
I've searched through my own AO3 bookmarks and history tabs, and I present to you 28 jily muggle fics that I LOVE. I am THRILLED thinking about all the good things in store for those that read these wonderful stories. This list took me ages to make because I went through and reread most of these brilliant fics. Happy reading !! xx
properly improper by @lizardcookie
“Marry me,” Mr. Potter repeats, closing the distance between them by striding back up towards the sofa, only to stop and crouch to one knee right there at her feet, looking up at her. Burning. “Pick me,” he elaborates. “Pick me, choose me, love me instead.”
- this fic is the reason why I comment the way that I do (spoiler it's because it's amazing)
The Wedding Ring by @mppmaraudergirl
What is undeniably worse than attending your sister's wedding looking as desolate and forgotten as a wilted houseplant? Drunkenly ringing your ex-boyfriend and asking him to be your date.
- SOBS UNCONTROLLABLY AT THE PERFECTION
Oh my god, they were ROOMMATES by @magic-girl-in-a-muggle-world
Silly one-shot, Muggle AU with Fem!Jily as pining roommates and Marlene as their matchmaker.
- the fic that brought me back to jily and inspired my deep obsession of fem!jily
Swipe Right, Swing Left by @downn-in-flames
The unspoken rule of using dating apps in D.C. is that you always start with where you work.
James Potter, it seems, never picked up on that one.
- giddy just thinking about this gem
'Tis the Damn Season by @petalstofish
It doesn't feel like Christmas for Lily Evans, not after losing her parents to COVID before the Holiday season. She anticipates spending Christmas all alone until a boy from her past shows up and offers her a mutually benefiting deal that has her calling him 'babe' just for the weekend. 'Tis the damn season, after all.
- cries in respect for lyrical writing
Watch Me Unwind by @maraudersftw
Lily Evans hates her job, hates the bigoted customers she has to serve as a bartender at the richest club in the city. But the one person who makes bearing all of it worth it has someone else in his arms tonight. (Rated: M)
- obsessed with the way the plot jumps around the time line in this
oil be there for you by @abby10fanfic
Texting/Social Media AU: Lily and James haven't spoken for 2 years. But that's all about to change thanks to Peter and his involvement in an essential oil pyramid scheme. Featuring boss babes, toxin-free lifestyles, binding contracts, and a very oily journey.
- YOU WOULD NOT BELIEVE HOW FAB THIS IS
a matchmaking mission by @downn-in-flames
James Potter has a mission: get Sirius Black and Remus Lupin to finally admit that they both fancy the pants off each other by Valentine's Day.
His partner in crime? Lily Evans, Remus' flatmate, who he also happens to be slightly in love with
- DOUBLE the amount of pining idiots in love :")
about time by @jilyss
'sure, yeah, I can accompany you to that black tie event for your work tonight. wait. why are we on a red carpet?'
- this is my emotional comfort fic, your honor
whiskey business by @elanev91
Sirius Black has a (bad?) habit of picking up hobbies that take over his and James' flat -- this most recent one? Homemade vodka that James now has to try and peddle to everyone in the building.
- hysterical! must read!
Fashion Disaster by @maraudersftw
James Potter is roped into an awful dare by his best-mate, which involves him wearing atrocious pieces of clothing for all days until Christmas as dictated by Sirius. If this wasn't terrible enough, he now has to contend with his maddening crush on the beautiful saleswoman at the clothing store.
- classic hijinks that I live for
it wasn't a pity invite by @elanev91
Part of the December "Winter Tropes" Jily challenge. Prompt: my family invites you to join our holiday meal as an obvious setup and omG i’m so sorry
- awkward Christmas date that owns my heart
spice and honey by @clare-with-no-i
tagging along with her food reporter sister to profile James Potter, London's hottest young chef, is not how Lily Evans pictured her Monday going - especially if he's anything like Petunia’s described.
needless to say, she's in for a whirlwind at Chez Maraudeur.
- I'm one re-read away from printing this out and putting it on my bookshelf.
Waffle Wars by @elanev91
There's only one waffle maker in the dining hall and it literally always breaks. So, naturally, the only reasonable course of action is to meticulously map out when it's working and, ultimately, do a heist.
- the witty narration in this fic can not be matched
You Can Hear It In The Silence by @alrightginger
Lily is non-verbal and deaf in a world where the things your soulmate says about you end up written on your skin. She has known about her soulmate since she was seven, but knows they don't have a clue she exists and possibly never will.
- exquisite, cue me sobbing forever
out the window by @displayheartcode
A new family moves to Ottery St Catchpole.
- everything I could ever want in a fic, forever in my mind rent free
The Christmas Guest by @thegodmachine
An Evans Family Christmas: Petunia is bringing her fiancé and Lily is bringing her…Friend…
- petunia pov that gives me WINGS
Football, Calculus, and Cappuccinos by @moonawrites
At eighteen years old, James Potter has a lot going on. He's a rising star navigating the politics of professional football, the pitfalls of sudden fame, the fallout from choosing his dream over his father's company... and a serious crush on the red headed new barista at his favourite coffee shop.
- I'm still working my way through this fic, but trust me when I say its a GEM
if u like pina coladas by @zephyrcove
Lily is desperate for a date to Petunia's wedding, James has been pining, and their friends meddle ;)
- explain to me how characters can be so perfect via texting fics?
Shelf Awareness by @ghostofbambifanfiction
It's too far out of her way and she's wasting so much money, but Lily can't help but return to the bookstore every weekend, where her passion for good literature has, perhaps, been unexpectedly reignited by the messy-haired, pun-making, rather handsome bloke who works there.
- you absolutely must know that I binge read this and then immediately REREAD it
How to win a witch in 10 days by @adenei
“She’s going to find some unsuspecting wizard, get him to fall for her, and then do all the things that turn men away to get him to break things off! Won’t it be the best way to see what witches do that drives men crazy?” But what happens when the man in question is a blast from Lily Evans's past? A Jily Magical AU based on the romantic comedy "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days."
- fic based off of a rom com? YES PLZ :’)
The Fight Before Christmas by @ghostofbambifanfiction
The heartwarming Christmas tale of Lily Evans and James Potter - two plucky kids who hated one other, until the day they really, really didn't.
- complete sucker for this one
All This Time by @thejilyship
James and Lily grew up next door to one another. Their bedroom windows giving them glimpses into the others life, and also offering prime opportunities to argue with each other over every little thing. They never figured out how to be friends when they were kids, but now that they've graduated from college and are home for the summer, they have a second chance to get things right.
- one of my favvvv tropes
Let Me Love You by @thejilyship
With only a month until she's set to take the throne of Gryffindor, Lily is informed that she'll have to get married or choose to give up her throne. She never thought she'd have to even entertain the idea of an arranged marriage. Enter, James Potter.
- cries in princess diares AU
The Fabulous Baker Brothers by @frustratedpoetwrites
Lily walks a different route home from work and stumbles upon a cute little Bakery with an even cuter baker in the window.
- yes yes yes to embarrassed pining.
Marigold Mornings by @mppmaraudergirl
This is a fun game she thinks, as she removes her hand from his side and reaches up to run it down his chest.  He catches her hand in his own, takes a step forward so that her nose nearly brushes against his shirt. She can feel the heat radiating off of him—or maybe it’s from her. He licks his lips and her eyes are drawn to the motion.  She knows it is a bad idea, absolutely knows it.
- incredible storytelling featuring dynamic characters :') a favvv
Welcome to Pettyville by@women-inthe-sequel @alrightginger
When Lily Evans accidentally sends a text to the wrong number, she isn’t expecting to find the right person behind it. She can’t stop talking to Prongs. The only thing is, Prongs can’t stop talking about the girl in his class. What could go wrong, other than the number?
- LOVE SQUARE ANYONE
The Kiss a Stranger Project by @alrightginger
“What’s your name, then?” she asks, realizing they haven’t even properly introduced themselves yet. She nervously crosses her arms.
You shouldn’t kiss a guy without knowing his name first.
Right?
- THIS ONE WILL LIVE IN MY MIND FOREVER
226 notes · View notes
boldlyvoid · 3 years
Text
Of Quartz I Will
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Amethyst You So Much✨ Part 2: Of Quartz I Will
Summary: after 2 years of dating, Spencer decides it's finally time to get Y/N something to match her Amethyst bracelet.
Warnings: fluff, gun violence, shooting tw, Reid's season 5 knee injury, hurt/comfort, emotional smut, body massage, hand jobs, riding, penetrative sex.
word count: 6K
Spencer notices her as she walks in, through the briefing room window, she’s wearing his purple shirt. He wanted to wear that for work today but couldn’t find it anywhere, now he knows why.
“Excuse me,” he says to his group of teammates as they contribute reading case files.
“Hey,” Spencer grabs her attention from the railing beside the briefing room. “I’ve been looking for that shirt everywhere.”
“It’s mine now,” she smiles, setting her things down at her desk for the night. “I’ll buy you a new purple dress shirt.”
“Buy yourself one, I like that one,” he whines.
“Finders keepers, doctor Reid. Either stop leaving your shit on my bedroom floor or move in already.”
Everyone hears it. All eyes are on them as they bicker in the middle of the bullpen, including the team of profilers just beyond the window.
“Okay,” he agrees. “We’ll talk about this later.”
She climbs the stairs quickly, giving him a good morning hug even though it was 9pm. “I love you, that’s why I’m wearing your shirt.”
He smiles against her shoulder as he holds her, “I love you, more so in my shirt.”
When he sits back down at his chair at the round table, everyone is waiting with a raised brow. They want details, they want his opinion, they want to hear him stutter and see him blush like he used to. But he doesn’t.
“Yes, I will be moving in with her. We have people to save,” Spencer reminded them. Avoiding eye contact and flipping through the files.
Derek tugs on his amethyst bracelet, he hasn’t taken it off since he got it, almost 2 years ago. “Are you ever going to get her any other jewellery?”
“When she goes home I’ll show you,” he whispers, still avoiding eye contact as they all gasp. “Keep it cool or I will kill you.”
He keeps an eye on her at her desk, smiling when she looks up to see him. She blows him a kiss and waves softly a few times, but other than that, they don’t talk for the rest of the day.
The next time She sees him, he’s in her bed sound asleep as she’s coming home from work. She sits on the edge of the bed and brushes his hair away from his face to wake him up gently, he blinks into the morning sunlight to see her.
“Good morning,” he smiles.
She’s in his pink shirt today. She liked to keep something of his close on bad cases that take him out of town. In this case, out of the country. He was in Canada for a few days, the case was horrific and she had to deal with all the office work in Penelope’s absence.
“Amethyst,” she whispers, it was part of their secret code.
Spencer, being a cunning linguist, he loved anagrams.
They had Amethyst for I miss you, Quartz for of course, and Olive for I love you. It was easier to keep the PDA to a minimum at work, not wanting to sit in a seminar like Derek and Penny about sexual misconduct and hostile work environments.
“Olive,” Spencer replies, pulling her down into the bed so she can cuddle in.
“We can’t stay, there’s another case. JJ told me to bring you in on my way home,” she explains softly. “They need you to go to ER Doctor Barton’s house, in McLean, he got a note saying someone was going to kill his son. So far they’ve also connected him to a few surrogate kills of Hispanic men, they need the speed reader to go through all his recent surgeries.”
He sighs, holding her tightly and snuggling in against her back, “no.”
She laughs, “Spencer, you can read really fast and the faster you read the faster you can come home to me.”
“Fine,” she has perfect logic, he always tells her that. “Are you driving me to the guy's house?”
“Yep, so we can stop for coffee and talk in the car, I really did miss you a lot,” she struggles out of his grasp to turn and face him, opting to hold his face in her hands as she looks at him. He’s exhausted, just like her.
“I missed you too, I’m sorry I was gone so long,” his voice is barely a whisper, “We should take a day off together soon.”
“Yeah,” she smiles wider, completely in love with him. “I’d really like that, maybe we can look at apartments?”
“Apartments?” He repeats the word with a grin, raising his eyebrow softly. “I thought you liked it here?”
“It’s too small, I want to get a cat, if you’re bringing your closet here we’re going to need a bigger one,” she ranted. “And actually, I was thinking if you’re on the same page as me and this is a long-term thing for you too, what if we just got a bigger place and got a mortgage and start a little life outside the FBI, together?”
He’s so in love with her, “get my bag?” Is all he can say.
“What?” She’s so confused, shaking her head softly as she comprehends it.
“On the floor there, grab my bag, please there’s something for you in there,” he points behind her, trapped under her and the blanker so it’s not like he could get it himself.
She gets up, placing the bag on the bed for him as she watches him dig through it for a little box. “Arminius helped me pick this out.”
He had become best friends with the owner of the rock shop, she wasn’t surprised to hear that he had gotten something else from there for him. It made her giggle with excitement, bouncing softly as Spencer sat up and moved his bag out of the way.
But then he got out of bed, he’s in a pair of purple boxers and his hair is a mess and he’s so nervous and she has no idea why until he gets down on one knee.
“I was waiting to do this.”
“Holy shit.”
He nods with a shaky laugh, “yeah, I’m in it long term if you are?”
“How the fuck am I supposed to drive you to work now?” She laughs, unable to stop smiling as the two of them stare hopelessly at each other. She hasn’t even looked at the ring yet, too occupied with the wonderfully happy look on his face.
“Quartz,” is all she can say, flabbergasted as she keeps laughing with a shocked smile.
He takes it from the box and she watches as he slides the most beautiful purple Amethyst ring over her ring finger and then her hands are back on his cheeks. Pulling him into a kiss, she can’t seem to hold him close enough as she breathes in. Holding her breath as she keeps him there.
He pulls away with a laugh, “when are we supposed to be there?”
“Now.”
“Damn,” they’re all giggles.
And it doesn’t stop, she takes off Spencer’s shirt and he puts it on instead, matching it with a vest and a tie while she makes him a coffee and can’t stop smiling as she glances at the ring.
It really only made sense for their engagement to happen in the same place she fell in love with him.
Sure, she liked him a lot when he was getting her rocks and she really wanted to get to know him more after his last note, but it was the bracelet that made her fall in love. He went out of his way to make her smile on what felt like the worst day of her life, and she knew she wanted forever with him from then on out. Now she was going to get it, she was going to be Agent Y/N Reid, and her ring was absolutely perfect.
He catches her taking photos of it in the sunshine when he comes out of the bedroom. She still can’t stop smiling, it’s just so perfect and she’s just so in love with him.
They get muffins from the bakery under her apartment before getting in her car, “where is it?” Spencer asks, playing the role of GPS whenever they drove together.
“120 Kensington Road, McLean Virginia,” she members it clearly.
“Take a right,” Spencer smiles, and she’s off.
She drives with one hand, looking at her ring almost more than the road as Spencer held her other one. She pulled up to the Doctor’s house and he didn’t want to leave. Sighing, he looked at her with puppy dog eyes.
“I will see you when you get home, I’m going to call out after this case is done and you get mandatory 24 hours off for back-to-back cases,” she said, knowing protocol almost better than him. “Go to work.”
“Fine,” he frowns again, getting out of the car and walking around to her door. She rolls the window down and tilts her chin up, leaning out for the kiss he’s waiting to give her.
“Let me know when you’re done, I can come and pick you back up,” she whispers against his lips between kisses.
One last smooch and he pulls away, backing up so he isn’t tempted to stay any longer, “olive.”
“Olive,” she replies with a smile, waving slightly before he disappears behind the door.
She releases a long sigh, melting into the chair as she lets the butterflies swarm around a bit in her stomach, it felt wonderful.
She went home, napped from 10 till 2 and then sat in bed to stare at her beautiful ring for a little while. She couldn’t believe he proposed just like that. All she asked was if he wanted to get a mortgage on a house and she guesses he heard "spend the rest of your life with me."
Sometimes, when Spencer was on a case in Virginia and too busy to keep her updated, she would turn on the police radio and listen to what was going on around in the area. It was good to keep her mind preoccupied and to remind herself that he was safe.
At least that’s what it used to do.
“Shots fired at 120 Kensington Road, McLean Virginia, 10-999, 11-41, all units in the area are requested.”
“10-999, officer down, 11-41, send ambulances,” she whispers to herself, remembering all the dispatch lingo from the office.
She doesn’t have time to panic, she unlocks her safe and grabs her gun, loading it and then she’s out the door, in her car and pulling up behind the sheriff's car as she’s running out.
She tosses her badge up to show the cops as she tries to run onto the scene, “I’m an FBI agent on his team, let me through!”
She slides her knees along the grass, surely ruining her jeans as she dives for him. She places a hand on his bloody knee and looks everywhere else, “are you okay? Are you good? Holy shit, Spence?”
Her breathing is so heavy, she clutches her chest with her left hand and tries to calm down as he looks up at her and they breathe in and out a few times without breaking eye contact. He’s completely fine, there’s just a bullet in his knee, he assures her.
“I’m fine,” he laughs lightly, wincing at the pain as he leans forward to kiss her gently.
She’s there only 2 minutes before Derek, JJ and Rossi are pulling up on the scene. Everyone huddled around them on the grass as the EMTs bandaged his knee up before taking him to the ambulance.
“You need to call Emily,” Spencer speaks over everyone, “something happened to Hotch, I’m fine here with Y/N, just go see him.”
He was always going to be fine with her, that was for sure. She never left his side, except when they took him in for surgery and forced her back into the waiting room. But as soon as he was okay again, his hand was in hers.
He was given a month off after his knee surgery, but he still ended up in the office most nights. Becoming more of a night owl than usual as he accompanied his fiancé to her desk and sat beside her as she did her work. It was really nice to spend time with her and not have to do anything.
Of course, he filled his time by going over other case files, things they weren’t able to get to as a team and things that didn’t fit the criteria of the BAU. He made phone calls and sent emails, helping small-town cops make simple connections and doing more good that way.
He sat at her desk, his leg resting over her lap as she made a few phone calls. Handing the background of the cases, filing off invoices and approvals. Dispatching units and requesting files and overrides from other departments. She was amazing.
She hangs up the phone, finally, after 45 minutes of rolling her eyes and sighing as she was transferred from office to office all around America. She places her hand on his leg and absentmindedly runs her hand along his shin, staring off at the desk, silently.
“Are you okay?”
She nods, “do you think you’re healed enough to start looking at places?”
He nods back, “actually, I already found one. Hold on,” he slides his leg off her lap and stands with his crutches, hobbling over to his desk where he looks through his files for a new folder.
When he comes back to her, he places the folder in her hands, “forever homes,” is listed on the tag and he sees her heart melt in her eyes. She opens the folder as he sits down, there are about 15 pages of house and apartment listings printed off.
“When did you do all this?” She whispered, shocked and not wanting to cry at work.
“Before I got shot, I was on the phone with Penelope and I asked her to help me find some, she printed off like 50 and I selected the good ones, but there’s more if you don’t like an-“
“Babe,” she cut the rant short, “I’m sure I’ll love any of them, as long as they come with you.”
He pulls a specific sheet from the pile, “this one is my favourite.”
She can see why, it’s a large, green exterior, Victorian home. There’s a turret and a porch, large windows with a bench seat in the kitchen. A garage, 4 bedrooms, a finished basement, a study and a pretty nice backyard.
“It’s a bit of a fixer-upper, but Derek said he’s willing to help teach me how to fix some stuff,” Spencer pressed his lips together awkwardly. He really wanted this on.
“Let’s get a Realtor and set up a walk-through,” she agreed, “and we should bring Derek because he’ll know more than most inspectors anyway. I don’t want to get a place with a cracked foundation or a faulty water heater.”
He smiled again, “remember last week when I had that extra appointment?”
She tilted her head, “no, there is no way you’ve already been there to check it out without me.”
“And I put an offer in, but I was waiting for your approval,” he adds, nervous for her to hate it.
“With what money? I thought we were doing this together?” He’s not sure why she’s upset, normally she loves his surprises.
“When I sold my moms house, I invested the money and it’s been gaining interest for years now,” his voice is soft, “I got through college with scholarships and if I was ever down on money I just had to go to one casino and I always leave with two grand, minimum, I promise, I’m really in this for the long run. I know what I'm doing.”
She smiles, picking up the listing and calling the agency. “Hi this is Y/N Y/L/N calling, my fiancé, Doctor Spencer Reid, recently put an offer in on the listing for 247 Chestnut Drive, I’d love to come and see it soon and take some measurements and things. If you could call me back…”
Spencer is so in love with her it hurts. He wants to scream right then and there, like a kettle on a hot stove for too long, he’s bursting at the seams. She hangs up the phone with the best smile he’s ever seen, “I’m going home early, cause I’m sick, care to join me?”
She stands then, putting her hand out for him so he could stand with her help. “Quartz,” he replies, taking her hand and stands, she gathers their things and she clocks out. No one really cared about all her sick days, she did her job well and they wanted the good doctor to be taken care of.
When he finally gets to show her the inside of the house, she is so in love with it. The hardwood is all original, same with the railings, shelves, banisters and countertops. They're all rustic and beautiful, she can’t help but run her finger over everything as she looks around with an open mouth. X
The kitchen cabinets are green, there is a beautiful colourful wallpaper as a backsplash… and it’s completely empty. It was a remodel, some house flippers did it up and didn’t want to stay. It was made more modern, updated appliances and every safety protocol met. It was perfect.
She turned to him with a smile after only 5 minutes of looking, “this is it.”
“Good,” the women showing them around said, “because your offer was approved, with your say so I can get everything started with escrow.”
“Holy shit!” Y/N cheered, jumping a bit and showing off while Spencer just leaned on his crutch. She walked up to him and wrapped her arms around him, kissing his cheek a few times.
“You can start that paperwork,” Spencer smiled, holding her back with his face in the crook of her neck.
The hardest part of moving is transporting all of Spencer’s books from one home to another. It's at least 30 boxes of books and Derek will be faxing his chiropractor bill to Spencer within the week.
His office here was huge, floor-to-ceiling oak shelves and green walls, full of all his books and belongings now. It was his own space in the house he shared with his future wife.
It felt crazy to him.
She used to just be the cute girl in the office, he can remember the exact moment he laid eyes on her. She was walking around aimlessly with some files in her hands when he turned around at his desk. She looked lost, overwhelmed and like she was about to have a breakdown.
She looked at him with the same fear he felt on his first day, he took the file from her and knew exactly where it was meant to go. She followed behind him, quiet as a mouse as he placed it in a folder by the wall under a sign that said "Anderson."
He turned with a press-lipped smile and a nod and then they went their separate ways. Silent conversations became their thing, the only time he really heard her voice was when she called him in in the middle of the night or when he heard her on the phone.
Other than that; she smiled when they passed each other, she’d tap her watch when he needed to be doing something Hotch asked for and was preoccupied with something else, she even knew exactly what he was looking for by just observing his chaos. Always able to pull a sheet of paper from the bottom of the stack with ease, and always silently, until that one day she said sorry to him after slamming the phone.
Now he knows that she talks in her sleep, she likes to go over her plans out loud in the shower every morning, and she sings all day long. Be it little tunes, hums, random tongue clicks or whistling, she’s always making noise. His favourite, however, was when sometimes she’d remember something she was trying to remember during a conversation they had, 4 days prior, and she’d scream it out like he knows what she’s thinking every second of every day.
He was in love with her voice, he never wanted to stop hearing it.
He was in love with her face, he never wanted to stop seeing it.
He was in love with her body, he never wanted to stop touching it.
He was in love with her mind, he never wanted to stop exploring it.
All those thoughts rushing to his brain and rushing a new form of butterflies for him. Like anxiety, but happier. Like he couldn’t wait to spend the rest of his life with her. It was anticipation rather than fear.
She really was it for him, and as he unboxed his life into the house they were about to share for the upcoming future, it all became very real. This was how the rest of his forever was going to look with her. All their memories from here on out were going to take place in this house, in these rooms.
When he picked this house, it was just a fun idea, and now he looks at the hardwood floors and thinks about how wet baby feet are going to sound during bath time. He wonders how many times the creaky steps are going to let him know she’s coming up to bed, he wonders what screaming matches and fights and love-making will happen beyond the bedroom door across from his study.
He wonders if she’s going to love him as long as he wants to love her.
He opens his study door then, “Hey, babe?”
“Yeah?” She calls up from the bottom of the stairs.
“Can you come up here?”
She marches up the stairs, still not used to the creaky staircase or the length of stairs she had to climb, soon enough, she’s on the second floor and walking into his study, “what’s up?”
He doesn’t know how to ask, he doesn’t even really know what he wants actually. He just missed her, and she was only just downstairs.
“Can I have a hug?”
It comes out more pathetic than he predicted, cringing at the embarrassment as he shrunk into the couch.
“Quartz,” her voice is soft as she approaches him.
Sitting on the brown leather couch that was once in his apartment, she wraps her arms around him and he holds her back softly.
Resting his head on her shoulder, he just wants to hold her for a while. Eventually, they end up laying down with her on his chest, still holding each other as silent as they were in the beginning.
“I love you,” Spencer whispers against her hair.
She snuggles in more, rubbing her cheek against his shoulder softly, “I love you, too, are you okay?”
He nods softly, “I was just thinking about everything and I wanted to hold you.”
She swoons, “do you remember the first night we cuddled like this?”
He nods again, brushing his chin against her head each time, “it all feels like history repeating like it’s supposed to be this way for us.”
“I like to think so,” she agreed. “I actually think you’re my twin flame.”
He hums, thinking about it, “I’m not sure I know what that means.”
“So soulmates are kind of like mirror souls, they are exactly everything that the other needs and they fill the missing parts for each other." She explains softly and he can already tell where her rant is going.
"I don’t think that’s us because we are too similar; sometimes we butt heads and don’t see eye-to-eye, and you drive me crazy a lot of the time because we have the same anxiety and daddy issues, but it’s also because you do things I think about doing and then I can’t do them because they're done already and they’re my calm down things so then I have nothing to calm down with, like yesterday-“
“Babe,” he whispers, “I know, we finish each other’s sandwiches, that’s what your niece said when she saw us together.”
It makes her smile and he can feel her cheekbone against his chest, “twin flames are what happens when one soul is ripped in half and sent to two bodies. They’re capable of surviving separately, as long as they have the right kindling, but they burn brighter together.”
“People sometimes think fire is living because it consumes and uses energy, requires oxygen, and moves through the environment,” Spencer says softly, “have you ever seen something catch fire on both ends?”
“Yeah, a few times, why?”
“It’s never about burning the item entirely, both fires are only concerned with connecting to each other for mass destruction. They always burn in the strangest patterns, but they always connect first before devouring the victim.”
She sits up to look at him, “are you saying I devoured you?”
“That would be de-flowered,” he teases, “but no, I’m saying it makes sense. We really have been burning through everything to find each other.”
“I cannot believe you just said I de-flowered you before the most beautiful thing you’ve ever said,” she laughs, “and it was a mutual de-flowering, might I remind you.”
“I will never forget,” he coos, leaning forward and pressing his lips against hers.
She pushes him back against the couch, it’s been forever since they’ve really done anything. With moving, Spencer’s recovery, her working nights and sleeping all day. It hasn’t been rewarding in a long time, it’s just been enjoyable.
“No,” he whispers as she starts to trail kisses down his neck. “I’m not having sex on the couch the first time we do it in the house.”
She laughs against his neck, pushing herself off the couch and extending a hand to him, “did the doctor even say you can yet?”
“I can’t do all the work, but I can give a second opinion?” He couldn’t stop the grin on his face as she hauled him to his feet.
“Let me heal you,” she whispers, and he knows exactly what she means.
She lays him down on their bed, on top of the covers with no clothes on as she gathers her things. She closes the blinds, turns on her amber lamp, and lights her candles. But his favourite thing that she adds is the sound therapy… helping the water in his body vibrate at the right frequency to calm him completely. She’s going all out for this one.
Much like the first time.
She’s naked too, both of them completely unfazed by each other’s naked form by now. She sits between his legs with all her chakra stones in her hands and she sets them down on his stomach before arranging them in order where they’re supposed to help on his body.
The Amethyst is just above his head for his crown chakra, touching his scalp gently. He closes his eyes as she places a Lapis Lazuli on his third eye, in the centre of his forehead. An Aquamarine on his throat. Rose Quartz on his heart, Tiger’s Eye on his solar plexus, Pyrite on his belly button and finally, Fire Agate at his core.
He always felt so totally relaxed like this, even the first time she ever laid him down like this. He was so calm, he knew he was in good hands and seeing her bless the room made him feel even better.
“Only good may enter here,” the words she repeats every full moon when she opens the windows and blessed the whole house. Keeping them safe, happy, healthy and loved.
She kissed the scar on his knee, causing him to open his one eye to see her. She was laying between his legs now, head resting on his hip as she lightly ran her fingers over his knee, ticking the skin where he finally had feeling again. It took forever for the numbness to go away, even longer for the pain. But she was so patient with him the whole time, taking the best care of him.
She doesn’t mind that he’s hard, she’s very close to his dick as it rests on his stomach beside the crystal.
She kisses his hip, inching each kiss over until she’s pressing one right to the shaft of his dick and he takes a deep breath. Knowing she’ll stop if he forgets how to do the breathing exercises she showed him. He wasn’t allowed to tense his body, this was about pleasure and there was no rush.
For either of them.
He’s done this for her a few times over the years too, just as slow and sensual as she was being. It was calming, rewarding, they bonded with each other and really felt like one being this way.
He heard a cap open, but he was so used to it by now that it filled him with contentment rather than excitement. He remembers the first time she said she wanted to do this, getting some skin-safe, homemade, vegan massage lube and almost turning inside out with how awkward she was asking to do this for their first time.
She sat on her knees between his legs with a small bounce as she got excited about her favourite part. She sat with the bottle resting between her thighs, warming up while she ran some of it over her hands. She massaged his thighs first, getting all the knots and making sure there was no “Charlie's on any horses”, the first time she said that he almost cried laughing and ruined the mood for a little.
She took the rocks off him then, sitting more on his hips as she drizzled the warm oil on his chest. He let his hands rest on her knees, wanting to feel her skin while she felt his. Her hands felt like magic, running over his chest, arms and shoulders like this was her job. She knew every crook, every cranny, every pressure point and soft tissue on him. His body was just as much her’s now.
It's when she presses her body flat against his that he knows the mood is changing. Her breasts are flat against his chest, her hands are behind his head as she looks down at him, her groin pressed right against him as he aches for contact, grinding up into her slowly as she stares into his eyes.
“Better?” She whispered with a small smile, already feeling how much calmer he was, she just wanted confirmation.
“Much,” he’s just as quiet in his reply. “If I don’t bend that knee, it’ll be fine.”
“I don’t mind doing all the work, baby,” she kisses him quickly, “I know you like it more like this anyway.”
She slithers down his body then, his body slick with oil as she easily glides down and creating the most wonderful amount of friction with him. He groans, tossing his head back against the Amethyst on his scalp.
She sits on his good thigh, avoiding pressure with his bad knee like he was an old man now. She makes contact with the only part she didn’t message, adding more of the massage lube to her hand before lazily jerking him off. He keeps a hand on her thigh, groping and managing her right back as she kept a perfect rhythm.
She occasionally grinds against his thigh, mostly when he moans and groans. Extremely turned on by him having a good time, proud of herself for relaxing him, always complaining that he was too tense, she really knew how to release the pressure.
Just as she gets into it, the calming sounds of rain and high-pitched frequencies come to an end… Rhiannon starts playing and he literally watches her come alive; changing her rhythm to match the beat as she starts to grind against him more, she only added his song to the queue, somehow an hour had passed and her music was resuming.
And when Spencer said she was eclectic, he meant she could go from listening to a rare Canadian band called the Tragically Hip, to Kanye West, Taylor Swift, Evanescence and back to Fleetwood Mac. He had no idea where the mood was about to go.
He moved his hand up her thigh as he tried to power through the pleasure, her hand was so amazing he was bubbling away under his skin. He manages to get his middle finger between his leg and her, massaging her clit as she bucked her hips down on him.
Mutual pleasure in any sense was enough for them, seeing the other being perfectly content after everything they went through; it was euphoric. She leans up then and kisses him desperately, unable to stop stroking him as she sucked his tongue into her mouth.
She smiles against his mouth as the song changes again, it’s the song from the ending of Dirty Dancing, he knows how much she loves that movie. Her kisses get softer, she’s so gentle as she strokes him just a few more times before throwing a leg over his hips and lowering herself onto him in one go. Bottoming out faster than before, both of them making the same moan as they curled forward for each other, mouths clashing as they held onto each other.
Grinding together, Spencer kept a hand on her to help her ride as she was preoccupied with her hands in his hair and kissing his neck as they moved in tandem. It was so good, he was incredibly close but he wanted to hold off as long as possible to feel her finish first.
His ultimate pleasure was knowing she was pleasured, he massaged her clit once more between their bodies and she shuttered, “right there,” her words are small as she kisses under his ear, tugging his hair softly as he moans so she can lick at his neck as she moves her hips up and down, gloriously.
He can’t keep his eyes open, everything is too much and he’s so relaxed; it’s like his body is floating on a cloud as she rides him like they’re actually in heaven. He was really having the time of his life and it made him smile at the end of the whimper he released as she tightened around him suddenly and on purpose.
She moves faster, and so does his wrist as he helps her over the edge first. She’s panting in his ear as she rides him with purpose. She cums with a gasp and then he’s gone, her whole body stuttering as she let out the most relaxed and uncontrollable moan he’s ever heard from her.
His grip on her ass tightens as he holds her hips down, he cums with a gasp and it’s so powerful he passes out.
He’s so cute when he sleeps.
She’s got him all cleaned up, everything put away and where it’s supposed to be in their new room. She just lays beside him as she watches him nap, blissed out and relaxed, she doesn’t even care that it’s such a typical guy thing to fall asleep right after.
That was kind of her mission.
He’s been so stressed, he wasn’t going to tell her because he didn’t want his stress to become her stress like it so often did. Feeding off each other like a fire, he really knew how to give a phrase to a feeling. But he was stressed because he was in pain from his knee and no matter how much he lied and said he was fine, she knew he wanted to relieve the pain but he was afraid of even taking a Tylenol.
This is the most relaxed he’s been in months.
She ordered a pizza while he was asleep, it arrived before he woke up too. She sets the pizza box, 2 bottles of pop and a roll of napkins at the end of the bed, gently, before getting back into her spot.
She brushed his hair from his face and kissed the tip of his nose gently, seeing him scrunch his face and swallow before blinking awake. She smiled at him, “Hi, sleepyhead.”
“Hello, beautiful.”
“I ordered pizza,” she whispers.
“Olive,” he replies.
“Well yeah,” it makes her giggle but she has to say it, “I got our regular green olives, mushrooms and extra cheese.”
He laughs too, extra happy after both the sex and his nap. “I love you,” he says the full thing this time.
She presses another kiss to his lips before hauling him into a sitting position, “I love you, too.”
It’s the best night of her life so far.
the house
Taglist: @dreatine for inspiring a part 2 <3
@shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @samuel-de-champagne-problems @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk
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niks-minion · 3 years
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BNHA 310 Chapter rambling
Man, it’s been so long since my last try to analyze this mess pretending to be funny.
Let’s have one more go!
So from the first page Hori puts us in a dark “Batman vs Superman” vibe atmosphere. Rainy season is a bitch.
Are these dudes heroes or vigilantes or just citizens who pretend they care? Poor giant girl. Stomp on them, you have all the rights.
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It’s a bird, it’s a plane... it’s Superman!
Deku is just like “ok fellas, how about you back off?” And they are “ok man, jeez, no need to be rude”
What a caring little bun. A true gentleman. I’d have a crush if I was this lady.
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I don’t have guts to joke about sugar daddy, I’m sorry.
Seriously tho, during his 40 years of work, I imagine AM has like 30 cars like that. Deku, you lucky bastard. Not only caring but awfully rich dad. Score!
WHO ALSO MAKES YOU FOOD. He enrolled in cooking class after retirement.
Deku even looks like his mini copy.
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Hello to my fav hellboy. I’ve missed this dude.
Yep, no progress here. I kinda really curious what the villains up to rn. I like how Deku separated Dabi in his own category 👀
“I doubt Endeavor with Aizawa together...” so not Hawks, not BJ (like the ones from top three) but Aizawa. Thanks, sir. Dadzawa deserves to be listed among the strongest ones!
I don’t even want to cut this frame.
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Like we clearly can see panic, and that he’s scared. That the weight of responsibility is pretty damn hard to carry.
But this makes me wonder about todo and baku again. Like Izuku is ok to trust Top 3, to rely on ofa tea party but left those two behind in order to protect? Well, I’m sure as hell they didn’t took that lightly.
Welp, with those two out of the picture we still need our gay tension so here we go!
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My heroes 👀 mhm, ok.
Oops, awkward. Not only bnha fandom caught up, but the whole bunch of guys on their pompous chairs are ready to facepalm. 6th rolled his eyes, I’m telling you.
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Hahah, have I said that I absolutely adore that gremlin of the ofa squad? Because I do.
It reminds me of Todo family dinner and Bakugou screaming to send it back to normalcy. Nice move!
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Oh come on, we all know how it works. Turn around and let Yoichi drag you in the battle. It’s the power of lo... friendship!
On a serious note, I like how the 2 and 3 don’t just jump on the bandwagon. They doubt it and their reasoning is valid.
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He has a point, ok?!
I can’t go and leave the elephant in the room. I KNOW HE LOOKS LIKE BAKUGOU.
I’m still gonna die on the hill of denial. Numbers in names thing, his general vibe, Deku without a hint of recognition, this time travel trope being stupid as fuck... you name it.
But thanks, now a have a vivid image of adult Baku for future fics. Yay.
Anyhow, doesn’t prevent me to put him in my number one place from ofa holders. It’s just my type.
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Oh, sweet sweet parallels. For me as I see it, it’s a hint on bkdk in the past, also Shigaraki and Deku. Everyone deserves a hand. To be saved.
Also it’s a hint on bkdk 3. This time tho it’s gonna be Bakugou. Extending hand with “you’re not alone, stupid nerd”. He’s gonna be a true hero, and I’m gonna cry a sea of proud tears.
Not only that, it’s a declaration of friendship. Like back then, according to Deku, Bakugou would only accept Kirishima’s hand- bc they are equals and bc they are friends.
BNHA IS ABOUT HANDS HOLY SHIT.
Todo and Enji, Bakugou and Midoriya, now this... TOO SOFT JUST THE WAY I PREFER.
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Ok this is my favorite frame this week.
They are so badass, ready to kick asses but then you look closely and see the bento box, lol.
Poor kiddo, no time for self-care.
“Shut up, food first!” Kageyama, you’re right as always!
In conclusion, I want to say, Hori pls give me my boys back already, I’m afraid I can’t suffer any longer. Also despite Deku’s gauntlets I still anticipate some kind of drawback. This top3 squad is doomed to fail.
Also 2,3 guys better not have quirks even slightly similar to Todo and Baku ones.
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drakenology · 3 years
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Yeah, My Boyfriend’s In A Band
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guitarist!todoroki x fem!reader
summary: something straight outta wattpad! you go to a rock band’s concert and stand front row of the stage. The band’s vocalist /guitarist catches your eye and.. well, the rest is history! this is the story of how you first met.
author’s note: soooo.. how yall been? i kinda said fuck it to the schedule i made. why force myself to make content when I just can’t ya know? I’d much rather upload content when it’s at it’s best. so enjoy! I used some lyrics from some of my favorite rock songs for this, can you guess em? Also the art work above isn’t mine!
warnings: smut (duh.), drug use (weed), size kink, pinch of daddy kink, spitting, degradation
It was a hot Saturday night. You were all dressed up and excited to see your favorite heavy metal band the Diaspora play in your city. You were a huge fan, their posters adorned your bedroom walls. You’ve been a fan since they first came out as a cover band.
The members were all pretty fuckin cute, especially the band’s front man. Todoroki Shoto.
He was so handsome; black and red half and half hair, grey sullen eyes, the sexy scar on the left side of his face only adding to the edginess of his visage. His tattoos coated his left arm in a sleeve, his eyebrow pierced as well as his lower lip. He was fucking hot. Obviously not the kind of guy who would pay any attention to you right?
You threw on the Diaspora t-shirt you bought just weeks before the show and tied it in the back so it could be a little cropped and called your uber, frantically spraying perfume in a panic that you were going to be late to the concert. You ran outside, saying goodnight to your roommate as you rush out the door and jump into the car.
“Hey. I’m Shoto Todoroki and I’m the lead singer and guitarist for the band The Diaspora. Hope to see you guys at the show tonight at 8.” You hear as smoothe and sultry voice play over the radio.
You swoon and text some buddies who were also going to the show in excitement, the rush going straight to your brain in a haze as you blast some of their music in your headphones.
When you arrive to the stadium, you spot your best friend from highschool Nejire Hado. You two actually grew up together and even graduated together. It was like you two were sisters, inseparable since birth. Nejire saw you and waved excitedly, squealing with glee and motioned you to come to her spot in line.
“Y/N!!!! Over here!!” She yelled, causing you to run over and jump up and down with her.
“I can’t believe we’re finally here!” You say.
“Me either! Hey, did you hear? There’s rumor’s going around that their having an after party after the show! We have to go, Y/N please say yes.” Nejire rambled, clapping her hands with an inability to contain her excitement.
You look down at your shoes, unsure at first. What if you aren’t even allowed inside? It could be VIP only.
“Fuck it. Let’s go!” You say, causing Nejire to scream and laugh with joy.
Suddenly, the band’s security comes outside to greet the fans waiting to come inside for the show.
“Ladies and Gentlemen, please enter in a single fil-“ the poor guy couldn’t even finish his sentence before hundreds of eager fans rush past him and squeeze into the stadium doors, running as fast as the could to get to their seats.
Luckily for you and Nejire, you had front row tickets. Those days of refreshing the page for them as they sold out every second really paid off. You grab Nejire’s hand and run inside, elbowing and clawing your way through to your spot with your best friend by your side. The lights suddenly go dim and the crowd goes insane.
The show’s about to start. You heart seemed to float up into your throat as you stood sweating and nervous, Nejire screaming her head off and jumping up and down when the band came rising up from the bottom of the stage. Smoke covers them for a while until it clears and all you see is Todoroki standing above you, the real him finally being exposed to you as you gaze from the crowd.
He was even more handsome in person. Tonight he wore black jeans and a white band tank top ,showing off his muscular and tattooed arms. Chains hung on his hip and his boots as he propped his foot up on the amplifier in front of him.
“YOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!” He screamed into the mic, causing the crowd to scream impossibly louder. He smirked, causing you to feel woozy just seeing him look so smug, as if he knew the effects he had on his fans.
You could’ve died right there a happy woman as the band started to play their hit single, the gritty sound of the electric guitar sending chills up your spine as you and Nejire headbang and dance to the music. You sing along to the top of your lungs, watching as Todoroki owned the stage. You gaze up at him again to see something completely and utterly unbelievable.
He was looking right at you.
You gasp, your eyes widening as you lock eyes with him. Shoto kneeled down towards you and reached his hand out to you. You almost scream and grab his tattooed hand with both of your own and smile at him, keeping your eyes focused on his. Shoto took your hand and kissed it as he sang a pretty racy part of his song to you,
“I wanna take you home.” (sleeping with sirens fans?? your nickle aint worth my dime???? NO?)
Oh. My. God
“OH MY FUCKING GOD! Y/N, HE-“ Nejire screamed, just as excited as you. You stood there shocked and flustered, staring into space. Todoroki fucking Shoto just kissed your hand. Shoto smirked and let your hand go, continuing the rest of his show in hopes you got the message. He wanted you. It was common sense that you go to the afterparty now.
The show continued for another 2 hours, Todoroki now dripping in sweat from the hot lights shining upon him and his band.
“Thank you all so much for coming out. For those invited, I’ll see you all at the afterparty! Goodnight everyone!” Todoroki bellowed to the crowd, causing them to cheer him and the band off the stage.
You stand there, high off of every guitar riff and belt from the performance feeling sad that the concert was over. But a rush of hope filled your heart in knowing that you were going to see Shoto again soon. You and Nejire walk out of the stadium hand in hand as you discussed the plan to get to the party.
“So the party is not too far from here, exactly 15 minutes away. We could totally call an uber.” Nejire explains, saying that it’s going to be held in Todoroki’s mansion.
When you both arrive at Todoroki’s Mansion your jaws drop. A huge fountain greeted your uber driver’s car, cobblestone driveways leading you towards his front door. There were hedge sculptures all over the front yard and expensive cars adorned the driveway as you and Nejire step out of the car to see the line to get into the party. Damn. More lines.
You approach the security guard; the same one from earlier that night with a nervous wave.
“U-Um excuse me sir, we’re on the list..” You said unconfidently. Nejire nervous laughed and nudged you for sounding so unsure after giving you a long confidence pep-talk in the car.
“Sorry, kiddo. I’m not seein’ an ‘Y/N’ or a ‘Nejire’. Back o’ the line, ladies.” The security guard huffed, hardly even looking at his list.
“Nah it’s cool, Ben. Let them in.” You hear a familiar voice utter before you get the chance to turn around and walk to the back of the line. Sure enough it was Todoroki standing there, joint lit and eyes hazy. Clearly stoned.
It was like he got more gorgeous as you got closer to him, your cheeks heating up as you realize you’re literally standing in front of your fucking celebrity crush. Nejire squeals and runs inside to go find the drummer and get his number, she says drummers do it harder.
Shoto took you by the hand and led you inside the rager in his foyer. The smell of beer and weed absorbs your nostrils as you walk inside with Shoto in hand, watching as Nejire talks up the drummer with ease as if she already knew him from way back when.
Todoroki sat down on the most comfortable couch you have ever sat in with you next to him, taking a big drag of his joint and motioning it towards you.
“Wanna hit? It’s not laced. Promise.” He said cooly, slowly blowing out the smoke. You take it and take a hit, coughing a little as you puff out the smoke.
Damn this must be what rich people smoke.
“Good huh? Grew it myself. Heh.” Todoroki laughed a little as he watched you take another hit.
“Shit. I didn’t introduce myself. I’m Y/N. Nice to meet you, finally.” You say, nervousness coating your tongue. Shoto gave you a warm smile, his hazy eyes gleaming in the dim lights of the room.
“Gorgeous name for a gorgeous girl.” Shoto said, kissing the same hand he did at the concert.
You heat up, your panties becoming slightly wet at him touching and kissing you. He smirked and grabbed you by your chin to make sure you look him directly into his grey orbs.
“When I saw you in the crowd, I almost couldn’t keep my eyes off you.” He said into your ear, causing your mind to block out any outside sound that wasn’t his voice. You gulp, blinking dumbly as you try to find the words to say something.
“I-I, um. Th-thank you.” You say, looking down into his lap. Shoto pulled away to smoke his joint a little more. You two talked all night, everyone around you both becoming irrelevant as you seemingly grow closer together.
Strangely, none of the rumors about Todoroki were true. He wasn’t this stuck up asshole the media made him out to be. He was calm and gentle, the sweetest guy you’ve ever had the pleasure of having a conversation with. You learned so much about him that night. He was so misunderstood.
You’re high now and completely hazy as you and Todoroki make out on the couch. You’re not sure how you two even got to this point but you loved it. One thing led to another and now you were straddling him on the couch, his hands in your back pockets as he groped and squeezed your ass.
Your lips mingled as you moan into the kiss, Todoroki’s tongue slipping into your mouth to make home of it. The kiss got so hot your pussy was sopping wet underneath your jeans as you mindlessly grind against him for some kind friction.
Todoroki pulled away and started kissing your neck, damn near ripping your clothes off in front of the entire party. You’re gasping and grabbing at his clothes, forgetting where you are as you become desperate for him. You wanted him so bad and you knew he wanted you too.
“Wanna get out of here? Go upstairs I mean.” Shoto asked, huffing into the skin of your neck as his hard dick poked at your thigh.
“God yes.” You say breathily. As soon as he got your consent he carried you upstairs, the party raising their glasses and their blunts in celebration for Todoroki getting some.
“YES! Y/N tell me everything okay!?” Nejire yelled drunkenly, pulling away from her makeout session with the band’s drummer. You giggle and wave down at her, Todoroki laughing softly as he watched the interaction between you and your best friend.
“Just so you know, princess. I’m not going to go easy on you.” Shoto said, pinning you against the hallway wall.
“I don’t want you to.” You mewl, leaning into his neck to nip at it. Shoto let out a low chuckle and nearly kicked down his bedroom door, tossing you onto his luxurious california king bed.
You take a quick look around his darkly colored room, black walls with coordinating grey funiture. Posters of his inspiration adorned his walls, almost similar to your room just $100,000 richer. He had a mirror above his bed as you look up at your reflection you see Todoroki crawl on top of you, unbuttoning and pulling your jeans off in one fell swoop.
You’re immediately embarrassed, forgetting it was laundry day at home so you threw a thong on because you didn’t have anything else to wear. It was black and lacy and oh so skimpy you quickly move your hands to cover up in shame, Shoto grabbing your wrists and pinning your hands above your head.
“Heh. How’d you know I love lace?” Shoto teased, practically salivating at the sight of your smooth legs beneath him. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” Shoto said, running his hands along your sides as if he was a lion playing with his prey before he ate it.
You bit your lip, dripping and hungry for some kind of touch in the places you needed him most, your nipples prodding at the thin fabric of your band tee. Yeah, you forgot to wear a bra. Shoto pulled your shirt above your head, tossing it somewhere and hissing at the sight of your bare breasts.
“No bra either? Man.. it must be my birthday. I’m gonna have fun with you, princess.” Todoroki says taking a nipple into his mouth, not breaking eye contact with you as he suckled gently following with short lick causing your entire body to catch flame.
You start moaning miserably, your whole body begging him to take you. Shoto pulls away from your nipple with a light pull of his lips and slips his hand down to your slit, caressing it agonizingly slow to tease you. He takes his other hand and presses his thumb to your lips.
“Open your mouth.” He rasped. And you did, sucking on his thumb as he rested it on your tongue making Shoto moan at the sight, humming a ‘good girl’ under his breath. Shoto held your mouth open and spit, pulling you into a sloppy kiss as he plunged his thick digits into your needy hole.
You arch your back off the bed, biting down onto Shoto’s lip as he finger fucked you without mercy. Your moans filled the air, Shoto watching you intently as he took your breast into his mouth once more.
“Sho- ah! I-I’m gonna-“ You bellow, trying to hold onto something for dear life as he brought you closer and closer to your peak.
“That’s daddy to you, princess. Try again and maybe I’ll let you cum around my fingers.” Shoto hissed, slowing his pumping fingers a bit to ensure you got the point.
He was in control. You pant, your chest heaving as you try to catch your breath only for it to get caught in your throat again. Desperate moans fall out of your mouth as you beg him to let you cum.
“D-Daddy!~” You gasp, Shoto leaning into your neck, his ear right next your mouth as you scream for him. You collapse into his arms, fucked out and stupid off Todoroki’s strong fingers. All those years of guitar weren’t for nothing.
“That’s it baby.. fuck, you made a mess.” Shoto cooed, slowly dragging his fingers out of you as he watched your slick stick to him sloppily. At this point, he’s so hard you can clearly see the veins in his dick jumping out of his pants, his size making you wince in pain before he even entered you.
“Think you can take all of me, princess?” Shoto asked, throwing his contricting pants and boxers somewhere across the room, releasing his impressive size for you to see. You gulp but nod, licking your lips at the sight of him.
Shoto smirked at your reaction and pumped himself a few times before teasingly tapping the head of his dick against your clit, causing you to yelp from the sensitivity of your abused core.
“Pleaseee.” You whine, Shoto grabbing you by the neck and choking you almost to tell you to shut up and be patient. He wastes no time in plunging into you, the thickness of his dick stretching your walls with a delicious sting.
You claw at his back as he bottomed out, gasping sharply as he filled you completely.
“Am I hurting you?” Todoroki asked with what little sympathy he had left in his body. You shook your head no, moaning as he stayed still inside you.
“P-P-Please move..” you mewl, chewing your bottom lip. Shoto smirked and began rutting his hips into yours at a rough pace, not really caring if you adjusted to him or not. Hard slaps and the sound of your whiny moans filled the room as the headboard of his bed slammed against the wall, probably alerting the entire party downstairs.
You’re screaming now, a moaning mess beneath him as he split you wide open. As your eyes rolled to the back of your head, Shoto throws your legs over his shoulder and starts pounding into you.
He’s going to make sure you’re unable to walk straight for the rest of the week, marking you as his.
“Fuckkk, daddy. S-Slow down.” You pleaded only for Shoto to ignore you and continue his pace, laughing at the shocked and fucked out face you were pulling.
“Told you I wasn’t taking it easy on you. Did you forget already, princess?” Shoto breathed, moving his hands to rub shallow circles into your clit.
Your toes curled up tightly as your orgasm ripped through your body, your moans reaching a cresendo as your scream Shoto’s name.
He hissed as your walls fluttered around him, your pussy gripping him tightly as he fucked into you continuosly.
“I hope you didn’t think I was through with you just because I made you cum. I’m not done yet, doll.” Shoto muttered through your pathetic whines for him to slow down.
He cooed praises at you, a “good girl” here and a “you take my dick so well” there until his thrusts got rusty and sloppy; a sign he was close to cumming.
“Shittt, where do you want me to-“
“I-Inside m-mee! Fuck, cum inside me!” You shriek. And so he did, fucking his hot stickiness into you for a while as you both moan and pant. Shoto rode out your climaxes for a while before slowly pulling himself out as he watched his cum ooze out of your abused pussy.
As Shoto flopped on the bed next to you, you both stare up at the mirror on his ceiling. You’re both sweaty and your hair was a fucking mess from being tossed around the bed for what seemed like hours.
“Shit. Probably late as fuck by now. You wanna stay the night?” Shoto asked, taking your hand and famously kissing it once more. You smile and nod, unable to form coherent sentences as you feel yourself doze off.
Todoroki jumps from his bed and opened the door, screaming from the top of the stairs, “Oi! All you motherfuckers can fuck off home!Party’s over!” You laugh and throw a pillow at him.
“Don’t be so mean, Sho. Uh.. C-Can I call you Sho?” You ask embarrassed.
“You keep fucking me like that you can call me whatever you want, angel.” Shoto groans, grabbing you by your face and kissing you sweetly.
“Honestly, I wanna go again. You down?”
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