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fuckaperioddrama · 1 month

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Mattheo Riddle Headcanons

Author’s Note: Mattheo’s feels more angsty than my Theo headcanons. A bit of a different vibe all together, but I don’t think I mind it???

Proofread, but there's probably still mistakes.

Theodore Nott Headcanons

Lorenzo Berkshire Headcanons

Blaise Zabini Headcanons

Tom Riddle Headcanons

Draco Malfoy Headcanons

Masterlist

Minors DNI | 18+

—-

Mattheo Riddle | Physique

6’2 - 6’3 | Not super tall like Theo, but still tall

He’s on the buffer side. It’s not crazy, but it’s crazy?

He’s like the guy you look at and you don’t automatically think ‘Oh shit he’s buff’, but then you see him pick something heavy up and his muscles start to ripple and then his sleeves stretch and it’s like OH! You can’t help but stare in awe thinking about how his t-shirt isn’t the only thing that’s about to get STRETCHED

WE LOVE A MAN THAT LOOKS LIKE HE COULD TEAR US IN HALF!!! RESPECTFULLY!!!!!

He has abs, but they’re not super defined abs. Like morning abs and then he drinks some water and they're gone unless you're looking at him from a certain light.

He works out a little, but he mostly it's just Quidditch. He's someone who is naturally really strong and doesn't have to work at it.

I don’t think he has a resting mean face, I think he has a resting ‘ugh’ face. He doesn’t look angry he just looks annoyed. Until he is angry and then he looks like he’s about to fuck some shit up.

Hot. Like dangerously hot. So hot that he could ask you to rob a bank in broad daylight and you would just giggle and say

Yes, Matty

I DONT KNOW IF THAT MAKES SENSE BUT I FEEL LIKE MATTHEO HAS THE KIND OF HOTNESS ENERGY THAT MAKES YOU JUST CRUMBLE INSTANTLY IT’S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN TRY

HE JUST WALKS INTO A ROOM AND YOUR LEGS SPREAD WIDE OPEN

Mattheo Riddle | Personality

He’s an asshole, but the reviews are mixed.

It just depends on his mood. Sometimes people meet him when he’s in a good mood and they walk away thinking he’s kinda alright. Not too bad.

Sometimes they meet him when his Riddle side is really showing through and they think he's an absolute dick.

Some people just hate him to hate him and some people do not care about him in the slightest.

That being said, he has some mood swings.

He has a lot of moments where he zones out and starts overthinking things and then all of a sudden his mood is ruined. It seems sudden to others, but it makes sense to him.

He knows why he's upset, he just doesn't want to talk about it.

He just has a lot of emotions that he won’t ever show or talk about unless it’s the angry ones.

Speaking of, like Theo, he’s more of a fuck around and find out type of guy. I don't see him going out of his way to bully some random person.

However, he can be soooo obnoxious when he doesn’t like someone.

Yelling at them from across the hallway. Going out of his way to make this persons life miserable. He is so petty.

He also won’t shut up when he fights.

Theo is the type to go stone cold when he’s about to fuck someone up whereas Mattheo starts laughing to himself. I don’t know which one is scarier tbh.

Mattheo is constantly belittling the people he’s fighting

Are you fucking stupid? Did you really think you could win?

Try that shit again and watch what the fuck happens. You think this is bad?

FUCK YOU!! YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT! FUCK!

He says ‘fuck’ a lot.

But he is also a refined man. A man of the arts.

I’m hopping on the train that Matty likes to draw.

He draws people, nature, but mainly weird or random things. If he sees a bird with a weird looking beak he’s drawing it. A road sign that is beyond repair and you can barely make out what it says? Looks like art to him.

He’s smart, but he doesn’t apply himself. He does his work sometimes, but he really lacks motivation

He does enough to pass. Bare minimum.

He likes going out.

Something tells me that Mattheo just doesn’t like being alone.

I know this is controversial. Some people think he's more of a loner. I think he has this 'I don't need people' attitude, but in reality Matty just wants to feel wanted.

He likes chaos and being in high stress environments because it’s the only time he is able to live in the moment and not think about his past or future

A beater in Quidditch to help get some of those pent up feelings out.

Eats just straight junk food all the time. He's not a picky eater, but he's not touching that broccoli.

Smokes. At least a pack every 3-4 days.

He smokes weed too.

I think the whole group partakes in a little 'gardening' from time to time.

At parties he drinks more than he smokes and he gets FUCKED UP

I don't think he blacks out, but he's definitely beyond his limit.

Will not sit the fuck down. Ever. It annoys the boys so much.

Has problems keeping his train of thought too. Can not tell a story to save his life.

Mattheo Riddle | Casanova

Mattheo’s a whore, but he's a sad whore? | Me too, Matty. Me too.

Man just craves intimacy, but doesn't know that he craves actual intimacy and not just sex.

As I mentioned before, he does not like being alone so he has sex as a way to fill the void.

How he treats these women depends how he's feeling when he seeks them out.

Sometimes he's more horny than lonely

Other times he's more lonely than horny

If he's horny then he’s passionate

Ripping off clothes, throwing her onto his bed, manhandling her because he’s just so desperate

He’s switch, but his switch side hasn't been unlocked yet.

He's not letting some random person dominate him. Absolutely not.

So he's a Dom and he likes to throw in a bit of dirty talk from time to time.

Such a slut. You like being fucked like this?

You feel that? You feel me all the way in the back of your fucking throat? Oh, it’s too much? Too fucking bad.

Let daddy hear you scream

Yeah, he has a daddy kink.

MAN IS A FREAK.

BUT lonely whore Mattheo has a completely different energy.

If he found these women because he was lonely then he’s not into foreplay really. He’ll do a little to set the mood, but he’s just trying to fuck his way into feeling something in his cold, sad, numb heart.

If he’s SUPER lonely then he’ll even let them spend the night, but that's RARE because he hates dealing with them in the morning.

Not super vocal. Maybe a moan here. Groan there.

Mattheo as a whole? Afterwards?

Maybe he’ll flirt with them in the hallways, maybe he’ll walk passed them like nothing happened.

Maybe he caught some feelings? He might feel some lust towards them, but mostly he feels nothing. Regardless, you'll never be able to tell.

It’s always a guessing game with Mattheo Riddle.

Mattheo Riddle | Friend

Closest to Theodore and Draco.

I KNOW he’s not usually paired up as buddy buddy with Draco, but it just makes sense in my mind. They balance each other out.

He loves Theo because Theo makes it easy. He’s a breath of fresh air. They don’t talk about their super deep shit, but they acknowledge that it’s there and they give each other a shoulder to lean on. A mutual understanding of each other.

He loves Draco for the opposite reason. Nothing about their friendship is easy because all Draco does is nag him.

Draco always tries to push his aesthetic and fashion choices onto Mattheo. Tries. But Mattheo makes it very clear he won’t be another Malfoy minion.

What Mattheo does appreciate is when Draco guides him through his homework. Showing patience he didn’t know Draco was capable of.

When Draco bust into Mattheo’s room to get him up for Quidditch because Mattheo was out partying till who knows when.

When Draco hands him a buttered pastry and some water after Mattheo pukes his guts out from said partying.

Draco says it’s because he can’t have one of his star players incapacitated, but they both know it’s because Draco loves him too.

Definitely the ‘baby’ of the group. Mattheo is always in some sort of a mess.

And Draco is the mommy.

I feel like I’ve pinpointed a lot of Mattheo’s more immature moments, which?? In all fairness, really shines through with his friends.

But he also has a lot of emotional maturity as well.

He’s someone who would be attentive even if he definitely doesn't seem like it.

He's usually in his own head, but if he's actively paying attention then he picks up on mood switches very quickly.

I feel like the whole group is actually very good at picking up on shifts in energy. It's a trauma response from growing up with narcissistic and abusive parents.

Poor babies.

Mattheo is a lot of work and the boys always end up taking care of him, but he takes care of them too.

Mattheo is surprisingly good with his words when it counts. He can’t talk himself out of a bad headspace, but he can talk other people out of them.

He gives good advice, and although his exterior is often cold, he can bring a nice comforting energy that’s appreciated throughout his whole friend group.

I think that he is like this because he would always comfort his friends when their death eater parents would get a little too rough verbally or physically in the name of Voldemort. Since his dad had a hand in driving these people towards being even more cruel he feels kinda responsible.

Mattheo Riddle | Boyfriend

Oh my sweet baby Mattheo

Mattheo Riddle is so confused and sooo frustrated.

Most of his friends have some sort of an idea? Some sort of a squed idea of how relationships work, but Mattheo is so lost.

He felt like it all happened so fast.

First it was just flirting, and dates that he didn't even realize were dates. All of a sudden he's experiencing things? Feelings? Genuine romantic connection??

He was FREAKING OUT!

Then he just blurted out absolute nonsense that you somehow comprehended

I want to spend more time with you. Officially.

Officially?

Yeah. I mean...-I want us to be together. Officially.

Like as your girlfriend?

Yeah...that’s...what I said.

Sometimes when he talks you just want to bang your head against a wall.

But other times?? Other times??

Words of Affirmation

Once again, Mattheo didn’t know how to be a boyfriend at ALL and you felt that.

You really liked Mattheo, but you weren’t sure if he really liked you because he just didn’t show it.

He would be flirty at first, but once he caught himself catching actual feelings I feel like he'd be more on the awkward side

Mattheo picked up the fact that you were starting to question his true feelings and would be racking his brain trying to figure out what the fuck to do.

He's smart enough to know his friends gave him shit advice

Then one day he would see you first thing in the morning and his heart would stop. Without even thinking he just blurts out how beautiful you are

He sees your face light up and he just runs with it.

You’re so smart, baby.

I love it when you’re here.

and eventually...

I love you.

He’s so sweet. Every five seconds he’s whispering in your ear while you’re giggling and turning to see him look at you with the most love struck eyes.

Then there’s other times when he’s whispering about how pretty you looked bent over his lap last night

Regardless, you never question his affections again because Mattheo Riddle reminds you every day how much he wants to be with you

And he dedicates so much Quality Time to showing you he wants to be with you too

Matty likes to take you out! HE WANTS TO SHOW YOU OFF

You're just the most beautiful girl in the world and he wants to go on adventures and experience life with you right by his side

While reminding everyone that you chose him. Not them. HIM!

He likes to drag you into every party you'll allow him to and he stays next to you all night. He keeps his one hand on your hip and will not let go. His grip is TIGHT

Man has attachment issues.

Likes to sleep with you every night and keeps his body pressed tightly against yours, walks you to and from every class, sits next to you in the classes you share, in the Great Hall. Everywhere you go he's just there.

Would follow you around the world blindly. He has no idea what you're doing half of the time, he just knows he wants to do it with you.

He starts to show an interest in your hobbies so that he can spend more time with you.

Sometimes if you're too busy to hang out with him he'll purposefully start an argument just to get your attention.

Who cares if you're angry at him, as long as you're paying attention to him.

Which is something you have to work on. Consistently.

Eventually after a couple of months he'll learn that life is easier if he gets your attention in ways that doesn't end up in a screaming match

He's trying his best guys.

Now if he wants your attention he just gets touchy.

Once he gets comfortable and knows your boundaries and his; he becomes really touchy.

So much Physical Touch

Mattheo feels very protective over you, so he likes to constantly touch you just so he knows you're safe and right next to him.

Arm around your waist, having you sit on his lap. He also absent mindedly touches you a lot. Playing with your hands, hair, caressing your arm, etc.

After a while, physical intimacy with you just feels so normal to him. He feels empty if he's not touching you in some way.

When he's clingy though? Sometimes it can be a little overwhelming

He will ALWAYS hold you, even in times where it just doesn't make sense to

While you're brushing your teeth, trying to get dressed, even when you're walking. His arms are wrapped around your shoulders and you're sweating from having this large ass man practically lean his entire body against you while you're trying to move.

Matty, I can't walk like this.

So you hate me now? Is that it?

I also feel like Mattheo just loves to kiss you. There's something comforting about feeling you beneath his lips.

His favorite places to kiss you are your cheek, lips and jawline.

You'll be sitting down trying to study and he's right next to you, placing soft kisses on your cheek, moving down to your jawline, and letting out the lowest moan as his lips move closer to your ear.

As soon as you turn your head to interject his lips are pressed against yours and you can barely get a word out.

Ma-

(Kiss)

Mat-

(Kiss)

Matthe-

(Kiss)

You have to physically hold him back, struggling as he leans forward with his lips puckered out.

Mattheo, I need to study.

The only thing you need to be studying is this di-

Acts of Service

I think taking care of you would be a gradual process for Mattheo.

Like most things. Having a girlfriend is overall just a lot for him to take in emotionally.

It would start with him noticing you struggle to carry your books in the hallway. He would just offer to carry them for you and then after that he would start carrying them all the time. Wouldn’t even ask, he’d just slip them from your arms.

One day your skirt was a little on the short side and you bent down to grab something and a guy whistled at you.

After he got done beating the guy away from an inch of life he decided he’d be the one to pick stuff up next time you dropped something.

Just a whole bunch of small moments that lead to him doing stuff for you. Then he realizes he actually likes it and just incorporates taking care of you into his daily routine.

If you have trouble sleeping through your alarm, he’ll make sure he’s awake on time to get you up.

You have a lot on your plate and are struggling to get some stuff done? He’ll clear his entire schedule just to help you.

Mattheo’s the kind of guy who would track your period just so he can make sure you’re stocked up on pads, tampons, snacks, or whatever you need.

He’s a mess, but he’s so organized when it comes to you. He somehow always knows what you need and when you need it. Ink, parchment, he even bought you new tights when a pair of yours ripped one time.

He was the one who ripped them, but Mattheo was more than happy to go out and buy you a replacement after. Gift Giving

As Mattheo starts doing more for you, I feel like gifts would start to fall in naturally.

He’d buy you flowers sometimes, but mostly it’s just random stuff.

Maybe he was up earlier than normal and decided to go out and buy your favorite pastries or he saw a cool t-shirt and bought it for you

Or maybe he was just walking around Hogsmeade and saw your favorite sweets displayed in the window of a shop and stopped whatever he was doing to go buy them for you.

He still likes to splurge on jewelry and luxury items now and then, but I think those are more for special occasions unless he sees something he thinks you’ll love while he's out.

Unless you want the more expensive items.

I just feel like he's more likely to buy you more personalized stuff, but he doesn’t pay attention to price or put thought into how much he's spending on you.

He just buys whatever he thinks you’ll want. Maybe it’s $5? Maybe it’s $500,000?? Doesn’t matter to him as long as you like it.

The one expensive thing he will consistently buy is lingerie because...well

Mattheo Riddle | Comitted Lover

Horny. Mattheo Riddle is always in the mood.

Lonely Matty has left the building and horny Matty is here to STAY

It feels like everyday he’s dragging you away from something because he just needs you.

One second you’re talking to your friend and then the next you’re being shoved into whatever secluded area is closest.

He’s just moves fast. Mattheo waste zero time getting to the important stuff.

It’s like you blink, he’s tucking your panties into his pocket, and you’re questioning when he even had the time to take them off.

Now you’re sitting on top of a desk while Mattheo pumps his long, thick cock into you. You’re grasping the edge of the desk with one hand while the other is gripping the fabric of his opened button down. Your breathing heavy as you desperately try to keep your balance with each thrust.

And he’s so vocal. Moans and curse words escaping his mouth each second and he gets LOUD

And if you call him daddy??

Gone. You can hear him all the way in the other side of the school.

He doesn’t give a shit if people hear him. Why?

I told you guys he’s a FREAK

Mattheo also LOVES to experiment

Wax play, bondage, choking? He is always willing to try something new.

And if you’re willing, he will twist and turn you into all different positions so he can blow your back out from EVERY SINGLE ANGLE

I don’t think Mattheo has a favorite position, he just has a favorite person and that’s you.

Hell fuck you in doggy, missionary, standing up, laying down, in the lake, in the forest, against a tree, in the hallway with all the portraits staring down at him HE DOESN’T CARE AS LONG AS IT'S YOU HE’S FUCKING

And girl???? One word.

STAMINA

If it's not a quickie then he is going non-stop. NON-STOP.

He'll have you on your back, his hands pressed up against your thighs, holding your legs in place while he drills his cock deep inside of you over and over, and over, and over again. Not once giving a single indication that he is getting tired.

I wouldn’t classify Mattheo as a munch because I think it’s more about the act of pleasing you.

Man will spend multiple rounds eating you out, fingering you, and kissing every square inch of your body because you’re just so fucking addicting

He didn’t care that much about foreplay before, but with you?? He can't get enough.

You know how I mentioned his switch side hadn’t been activated yet??? Hehe

Switch Matty is reserved for one person and one person only. His sexy ass girlfriend.

Tell him he’s a good boy and he’s on his KNEES

Daddy issues?

I think he prefers to be Dom, but he also can’t imagine ever turning down the sight of you on top of him.

Head thrown back, and boobs bouncing in his face while he stares at you in awe. He doesn’t know how he managed to get you, but one thing for certain, he is never letting you go.

—-

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

okay.

Theodore Nott and Mattheo Riddle done. Enzo next?

Jk. I’ve already started writing Enzo’s. Stay tuned.

Iffy on if I did Mattheo justice. I’m open to hear all different takes!

If y’all haven’t already gotten tired of me posting these unnecessarily long headcanons.

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starniolosposts · 30 days

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invite (1)

part one, part two

pairing: chris sturniolo x reader

summary: the popular frat boy, chris sturniolo, unexpectedly invites you, the shy and quiet girl, to his frat party.

warnings: shy/unpopular reader, confident/frat boy chris (but he’s still sweet), chris defends you 🤩, pretty long and will have a part two which is the final part

notes: SMUT IS IN THE NEXT PART (you could just read the next part for the smut but this one has all the tension leading up to it hehe;) )

not proofread/edited

“hey.”

you practically jump out of your seat from the voice in front of you, interrupting your study time in the silent library. you shrink into yourself in embarrassment at your reaction, and are even more mortified when its chris sturniolo standing in front of you.

chris grins and leans over the table, hair falling into his face as he scans the study page your on. “seems hard. whats your major again?”

you gulp, throat suddenly turning dry. you don’t answer, honestly kind of scared of saying the wrong or humiliating thing to the one boy you’ve been admiring from afar since college started.

he tilts his head and locks eyes with you, “so you don’t really speak, do you? i’ve never heard you talk before.” he observes, and you bit your lip.

“…i do talk.” you finally manage to say, avoiding anymore eye contact.

chris chuckles before pulling out the chair across from you and sitting down.

your heart rate picks up and you pray that he wont be staying for long. not because of him, but because then you have less of a chance of embarrassing yourself in front of him.

“so, whats your major?” he asks again, and he actually seems interested.

“oh, its animal science. i also minor in biology.” you whisper, seeing the librarian glance over at you both. chris obviously doesn’t care if he’s loud, since he responds with his normal volume.

“oh shit, so you’re smart smart.”

you blush and shrug, tapping your pencil on your notebook. “not really.”

chris smirks. “how humble of you. anyway, i have another question. what are you doing this saturday?”

your eyes widen as you glance up at him, stomach tingling with butterflies. why did that sound like he was asking you out? you bit the inside of your cheek in thought. you should study for an upcoming exam… you shake your head, “i don’t have anything on saturday.”

“perfect. i have a frat party that starts at 7 pm, but show up whenever you want.” chris exclaims, seemingly very pleased as he leans back in his chair.

you blink and then feel a sense of dread in your stomach instead of butterflies. “oh—uhm… i don’t really do parties.” you sheepishly mutter. what you didn’t want to admit was how you have never even gone to a party, nor have been invited to one.

chris smiles charmingly as he looks at you, and you feel so exposed and flustered. “i can tell. its alright if you don’t want to go, i just thought it’d invite you. you seem to study to much, your big brain needs a break.” he taps your study book as he tries to act unbothered.

you think for a moment, then blush blossoms your cheeks. “if i go, uhm, will i be able to stick by you then? i know i won’t really know anyone there.”

chris stares at you with an unreadable expression, his jaw squared and his eyes gleam. he finally nods. “of course. you can follow me around.”

you sigh through your nose and nod, the nerves already flowing through you. “okay.”

“you’ll go?”

“yeah, i think.”

saturday comes faster than normal, the anticipation of the frat party buzzing through you, and it even floats around the lectures you have. apparently a lot of people were going and it was going to be a huge party, everyone was looking forward to it.

while people were excited, you were kind of dreading it. what if chris abandons you and you’re left alone in a group of strangers? what if you trip and face-plant and everyone laughs at you? you shake your head, knowing you were overthinking.

you take a deep breath as you look at yourself in the mirror. this is the most you’ve ever dressed up, and you thought you looked okay. you wore a short, sparkly, black dress and your hair was curly down your back. no one had ever seen you with your hair down, so this was a big step. in the back of your mind you knew you were just trying to capture chris’ attention at least a little bit.

gathering up the courage, you grab your phone and make your way across campus and to the frat house. you can hear the music from a mile away and the flashing lights are prominent the more you get closer.

you glance at the time on your phone, 8 pm. you thought it was weird to show up exactly when the party started at 7, so you waited around for a while.

you tried not to think about how skin tight your dress was, or how short it was, or how your makeup looked. you pushed down your anxiety and tried to convince yourself you would have a good night. you walked inside, wincing slightly as the music was now clear and blaring in your ears.

your number one objective was to find chris, and fast. you looked around swiftly, dodging drunk people and catty girls side-eyeing you.

“y/n!”

you spun around and nervously wrung your wrists behind you, staring at chris as he walked up to you. “hi.”

chris’ jaw clenched as his eyes darted all over you. your hair, your face, your body. he blinked, wondering how you were the same person at the library a couple days ago. “you look great.” he finally says.

you smile shyly and look at his outfit. he wears baggy camo pants with a black long sleeve, a chain, and doesn’t wear his signature hat, so his hair is out and fluffy. he looks handsome as always, but you cant say that. “you too.” you meek out.

“i thought you skipped out, i was worried i would have to go to your dorm and drag you here.” he jokes and smiles, gesturing you to follow him.

you laugh softly and nod, following him into the kitchen with less people and muffled music. he grabs two red solo cups and fills both of them with something. he hands you one, then takes a sip of his.

you look at the contents inside the cup suspiciously, hesitate to try it.

chris looks down at you staring into your cup and chuckles. “don’t worry, i figured you don’t drink so its just lemonade.” he reassured, and you sigh in relief as you sip on it.

“thank you.”

“mhm. what made you agree to come?” chris asks suddenly, leaning against the counter, arms crossed with his cup still in his hand.

you gulp nervously, flustered as you stare at him. “can i be honest?” you ask, doing the same thing as him beside him.

he grins down at you and nods, “yeah.”

you fidget with your cup. “i’ve never been to a party, or invited to one. so when you asked i was nervous, but knowing i had you i was okay.” you blurt out, and you mentally slap yourself for saying so much.

chris is silent for a moment, and you want to run away and go back to your dorm, but then he nudges your shoulder with his elbow.

you look up at him and he smiles warmly. “hey, now that we talked and you came to my party, we’re best friends now. no need to be nervous when i’m here.”

you both stare at each other, and you swore he was leaning closer and glancing at your lips. unfortunately, a voice spoke up.

“chris, i love this party! beer pong was so much fun!” a girl strides in, b-lining straight towards him. she then looks at you weirdly, glancing at how close you were standing next to him.

chris nods at her and looks a little irritated, “good, it’s supposed to be fun.”

you awkwardly look down at your aching feet as they continue talking, this was your first time wearing heals for a long period of time.

the girl glances at you and then looks at chris with a look. “so, who’s she?” she asks as if your not there and she can ask you.

chris sighs and puts an arm around your back and his hand on your arm, making your eyes widen as heat filled you and goosebumps rise on your exposed skin. his hands are rough, but they are gentle with you. “this is y/n l/n, shes in our biology lecture. i convinced her to come.” your face feels hot as he says your full name, did you ever even tell him your last name? how did he know?

the girl hums and looks at you with a confused expression, “oh, i don’t remember ever seeing her. anywhere. but alright, i’m tory.” she smiles concededly. you try and smile back and nod at her in acknowledgment, “nice to meet you, tory. i like your dress.” you say. socializing and making friends is a little difficult for you, but you try your hardest. it didn’t seem to work as she looks you up and down and doesn’t say anything.

chris clears his throat and recognizes the tense situation and dislike from tory towards you, “tory, maybe we could ease off of her, yeah?” his eyes narrow at her, and you see his hand gripping onto his cup harder. you feel embarrassed, but at the same time you feel grateful and appreciated by chris, and its nice.

tory stares at chris in shock before scoffing under her breath, “whatever.” she walks away after that, going into the living room where the party is at.

chris finally takes his hand off of your arm, and you both don’t realize it but you think the same thing.

i miss his touch.

i miss touching her.

“…thanks for that.” you mutter, swirling your lemonade in your cup. chris nods and glares in the direction that tory walked off in. “i never liked her.” he explains, “in high school she dated my brother, matt. totally broke his heart and was so mentally draining towards everyone.”

you furrow your brows and frown, now wishing you weren’t nice to her in the first place. “i’m sorry.”

chris shakes his head and smirks down at you, making you slightly flush. “oh, don’t you worry. we got her back. pranked her for years on end and held blackmail against her.”

your eyes widen and then you laugh, an actual belly laugh. chris stares at you and then starts laughing as well. its just easy when it comes to you.

“its so bad, but i love it.” you giggle, then you ask, “you have a brother? does he go here?”

chris is ecstatic and proud, since he can tell your coming out of your shell around him. he likes it… he likes you. “kind of, i’m a triplet. both of them chose different colleges though.”

you tilt your head in shock, “really? thats so cool, are you all identical?”

his heart skips a beat at the sparkle in your eye and the curiosity in your voice. “sure are. they look exactly like me, but we all have our differences.”

you nod, “i understand.”

suddenly a guy shouts into the kitchen, “hey chris! come play a game with us!”

chris looks at you, and you shrug even if your freaking out inside. you liked hanging out and talking with chris, but with a huge group of people? not your thing.

chris scrutinizes you and states, “you don’t want to, i can tell.”

you silently nod but then shrug again, “i’m fine with playing, only if its with you though.” you look away from him to hide your blush.

he grins and nods before pushing off of the counter, setting his cup down. you do the same and closely follow behind him into the living room. the music is low now, and a group of people are in a circle on the ground or sitting in chairs/couches.

chris dabs people up and nods in acknowledgment at others, and you feel like everyone is staring at you as you follow him like a lost puppy. no one says hi to you.

you sit down next to chris on a loveseat, scooting down your dress uncomfortably. chris notices and swiftly gets up, goes to the front door, grabs his jacket off the hook, and then walks back over. you look at him confused until he laid his jacket over your legs and sat back down like he didn’t just do the nicest thing ever for you.

you feel your heart pumping fast and your veins turn hot. the little gesture made your thighs clench underneath the jacket that smelled like his cologne. glancing over at chris, it only makes you more aware of your attraction towards him. his arm is over the back of the loveseat, his legs spread slightly open as he leans back comfortably.

you feel dirty and flustered thinking about him like this, then snap out of it when someone speaks up from the group.

“alright, lets play the classic truth or dare.” a guy grins. everyone agrees and they start going around in a circle, asking random people. some of them do dares, but they aren’t regular dares, they are sexual. there was a three way kiss, stripping, and licking whip cream off of someones stomach.

your lower stomach only got hotter, the undeniable ache between your legs getting stronger. your mind always went back to chris for some reason, wondering what kissing him felt like, or how his tongue would feel licking whip cream off your skin. you shift, and your thankful for the jacket covering your legs since it blocked the view of your thighs clenching.

chris notices though . he always notices the little things about you. believe or not, he had been admiring you from afar as well. he couldn’t help it, he was drawn to you, the quiet girl in the back of the class. whenever he was in lecture, his eyes would drift to you and observe. he knows you bite your lip when your nervous or thinking, and he knows your leg bounces when your anxious. he knows that you secretly laugh at his jokes behind your hand and that you feed the stray cat that roams around campus. yeah, it was safe to say he liked you a lot, and he notices you.

“the girl beside chris.”

your head snaps up and you gulp nervously. its a blonde guy that smirks at you. “y-yeah?”

“truth or dare?”

“uhm, truth?” you say, but its more like a question. you really prayed it wasn’t anything embarrassing.

he thinks for a moment. “whats the worst thing that has happened to you during sex.”

chris clenched his jaw at the thought of you having sex with someone. its a weird thought, thinking of you with someone else other than himself.

your face immediately is red as you look down at chris’ jacket. you pick at the thread on it and clear your throat. “u-uhm… thats a little personal?”

“come on, don’t be a buzzkill!”

chris glared at the guy, “cut it out, clayton. if she doesn’t feel comfortable saying then don’t pressure her.” he glowers slightly, making clayton raise his eyebrows.

“its truth or dare, man. no outs. she has to answer.”

chris furrows his eyebrows and opens his mouth, but you cut him off. “i’ve never had sex, so i can’t answer.” your eyes are squeezed shut in embarrassment as you grip onto the jacket for comfort. everyone goes silent and you think this is the moment you want the ground to swallow you whole.

chris blinks at you with wide eyes then his jaw is set and his eyes turn dark. his pants are starting to get tighter than before and his hand clutches onto the back of the loveseat. “fuck.” he hisses out, but he made sure he was quiet.

“wait, so you’re a virgin in college? have you even had your first kiss?” tory asks, crossing her arms in amusement. she was milking your humiliation for all its worth.

you tilt your head down and dont answer, which makes her laugh slightly. “wow, so your really inexperienced. how are you even here at this party?”

“tory, stop. i’m serious. i still have those screenshots in my hard drive.” chris speaks up and threatens, looking her straight in the eyes. it makes you peak your eyes open to look over at him. he smiled reassuringly at you, and it makes you feel a lot better, and a lot more needy.

“…lets just move on.” a random girl says, chuckling nervously.

the game continues, and chris lowers his voice to speak to you with no one listening. “are you okay? im sorry that was pressured out of you, ill kill clayton.”

you shake your head, “its fine.” you whisper.

“no, its not. especially with what tory said.” he grunts out then sighs. “i’m sorry.”

you hesitate, but scoot closer to him and smile gently. “its alright. thank you for defending me, not a lot of people do.” you hadn’t meant for it to come out so sad and lonely sounding.

chris bites his lip before nodding, “yeah, of course.” he breaths out.

your eyes dart to his, and you catch a glimpse of desire you had been looking for. your chest heaves slightly harder, your stomach burns, and your eyes glance to his lips.

“…follow me.” he abruptly stands and holds out his hand for you. you knew what would happen if you took his hand and followed him, but you wanted it too happen. you’ve never felt such an easy and instant connection as you have with him, so you don’t hesitate to grab his hand and leave his jacket behind.

some people stare in shock as he takes you up the stairs, but you can only stare at him.

chris quickly takes you to a bedroom and closed/locks the door behind the both of you. he backs you into the wall, hands coming up to slowly grip onto your hips. you nervously look up at him, not knowing what to say or do. you’ve never been touched like this by someone you liked, and it was building up a fire in you that burned your core. the desire for him was too much, you wanted him now.

he gazes down at you with dark eyes. “i’m so glad you came to this party.” he sighs out, his hands slithering around to rest on your lower back, sinfully close to your ass.

your breathing heavily, your hands clenching onto his biceps as you lean into his touch. “me too.” you whisper, your head tilted back onto the wall to look up at him.

it silent for a moment, letting you feel his hands travel over your dress and to your waist. "i really like you, you know?" he whispers, and for the first time you see him slightly bashful but still confident, and your stomach tingles in the best way.

your heart jumps to your throat at his confession and your legs tremble, a shaky but content smile reaches your lips, "really?"

chris nods slightly before leaning into your neck and lowly muttering into your skin, "and i really want to fuck you, too." his lips come into contact with your neck, pressing feather light kisses onto your sensitive spots. he moved closer to you, caging you against the wall.

your heavy gasps and panting mixed together, and the bedroom got hotter by the second. then, he hiked your dress up to your hips and traced his fingertips on the lace of your panties, getting closer and closer to where you were desperate for him.

you gasped and clung onto him, whimpering as his fingers lightly brushed your clothed clit, but then teasingly moved back to tracing the edge of your panties. “chris…”

“hm? what is it, baby?” chris smirked into your neck, his tone teasing and amused. he loved your needy little gasp and wanton whimpers flowing from your lips. his cock was pressing against his jeans at how sensitive you were, knowing that you were this way because he was the first to ever touch you like this.

“i’m nervous.” you murmur, shivering as hands go to your hips to softly grip them. you look up at him and bite your lip.

chris glances at your plump, wet lips and wishes he could ravish them. but then he reminds himself that he has to go slow and teach you some things. “no need to be nervous, i’m right here.” his thumbs massage right beneath your lace on your hips.

you gulp and look to the side, contemplating what you were about to do. “…are you just saying all of this so you can have sex with me?” you blurt out your insecure thoughts, and frown at the silence heavy in the air. did you ruin the mood?

“hey, look at me.” chris demands gently, hooking your chin and making you lock eyes with him. “i never say anything i don’t mean. i know we only met a couple days ago, but i’ve always noticed you.”

your face flushes even more than it already was, your hands hesitantly running up his stomach to his chest. “i noticed you too.” you whisper. he shivers at your touch and words before sighing contently, “i know, i see you staring.” he teases, chuckling as you look away in embarrassment once again.

“on a serious note, we don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. but if you want to continue, i wanna set a rule first.”

your eyes dart to him, searching for any sign on him lying about anything. there is none, only lust and fondness in his blue eyes as he looks at you. you nod, “alright, what is the rule?” you ask curiously, getting more bold and sliding your hands up his shoulders and around to his nape. you play with his hair slightly and see that he holds back a groan, which you save for later use.

“if you say yes, you’re mine.” his tone is serious and low, it makes your thighs clench and the burning in your stomach feelings like molten. “no dating, fucking, or seeing other guys. we would be exclusively only seeing each other, i don’t just do random hookups on a saturday night.”

you softly smile and nod, “me neither, obviously.” you mutter with slight embarrassment. he laughs and grins at you, “so, do you want to continue, baby?” he asks teasingly, leaning down closer to your lips.

you lick your lips and nod shyly, “yeah. i really do.”

chris hums and one of his rough hands travels to the top of your panties. his fingertips dip into the fabric, trailing across your lower stomach slowly. his eyes stare into yours, savoring your reactions and small noises.

your pussy clenched as his lips suddenly grazed your ear and he lowly whispered, “do you want my fingers, y/n?”

you whine shamelessly and nod, too worked up from a simple whisper and some light touching.

“yeah? then beg.”

holy fuck.

to be continued with actual smut… sorry its so long! i cant help but like the tension leading up to it

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yourpsicodelicbitch · 9 months

Text

Ascendants at different degrees🦚🦢 pt 2

Venus in retrograde started🎶if your ex comes back or there’s an end, you know what to blame 🤪 jk

Ascendant at Cancer degree (4°, 16° or 28°)

they’re sensitive in a way I think they can manipulate the atmosphere, at least they have this sensitive nature. They could have had a “rebel” era, putting it with “ bc in reality it wasn’t that kind of era, they were being themselves or they needed help and were misunderstood by people around them. that’s why when they grew up they seem more mature, like a mother figure, with their cheesy side, bc they don’t want people around them to be worried and also they have had matured? they constantly idealize the idea of being with someone that ‘ll take care of them, how they have been doing it with everyone. they love food and feeling at home, there’s one person that occupies that big heart. THE BABY FACE.

Ascendant at Leo degree (5°, 17° or 29°)

they don’t know they’re the center of attention until someone tells them. they attract people easily. the way they do things have something unique. childish or excited. when they say or do something impulsive, they think about it and then the worry doesn’t last longer (depends on the moon sign. Idk but the people Ik with ascendant at leo degree have had difficulties at choosing their career, they either are delusional and not have a concrete plan or they have two options. They lack of confidence when’s about their abilities, they’re pessimistic. They could have a hard time analyzing themselves. They need to do sports so they can have a healthy copy mechanism that actually helps them. They’re proud. They’re like little kids running but at the same time with a huge ego. They get bored EASILY and you’ll always find them with their hiperfixation, they can’t live without it, could be tennis, gardening, doesn’t matter. People like them, they do the bare minimum and people sympathize with them. Could be bc of their charisma. They care about what others think TOO MUCH, in a way they don’t care but they do.

Ascendant at Virgo degree (6° or 18°)

omg these people get manipulated easily, you don’t have idea 🙄. they’re not flexible, they try! And they have todo things in their way and they’re in this constant stress when people that’s around them don’t acr the same as them. since details like if you’re eating pizza without a plate and they get mad bc you have to do that and etc. or when they went out and -you can’t lie to me about it- and then criticize or point out things that disgusted them. I don’t want to justifícate them and I’m not going to but that’s how virgo loves? Or acts or how they live? They care and that’s how they show it -and also bc they have a god complex, but beside that..-. THEYRE MANIACS, they have to have their order. They have to heal darling, they have to😩 stop trying to fix others problems or taking too much time on them instead on focusing on your unresolved trauma, bc god you have. that’s why you’re so manipulated and manipulative. Manipulative bc you know exactly what’s the other Achilles’ heel and manipulated bc you haven’t find yet yours and if you had, you haven’t healed it.

Ascendant at Scorpio degree (8° or 20°)

they went though shit that haunts them till now, they’re healing but IS REALLY hard for them to not feel the memory. to not understand things as they come, that life can be unfair. and that not always the ones that made you suffer the most have to pay BY THEIR HANDS, karma exists babe. they’re kind souls that went though a lot and want to protect their loved ones no matter what. they can overthink too much to the point they thought you hated them bc their intuition was confused with paranoia. they’re always on vigilant mood -if they’re not, it’s with the ones they feel more comfortable- and ALWAYS analyze the person before taking the first step. sadly, one of their family could have been part of that insecurity/trauma that accompanies them in the present. bb pls stop blaming yourself for things you have no control and if you had, to learn you’re human ❤️

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience and what I’ve analyzed in my surroundings.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer, I just love astrology and I’m willing to learn.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

#astrology #astro observations #pinterest #astro posts #astrologia #astro notes #astro placements #birth chart #ascendant #rising #virgo degree #cancer degree #scorpio degree #leo degree #ascendants at different degrees

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captainamericasmotercycle · 8 months

Text

I Think He Knows

pairing: remus lupin x reader

warnings: slight angst, fluff, remus being stupid, the marauders being the marauders

wc: 1.9k

a/n: when i come out of hibernation and post a fic 🫣

absolutely DO NOT steal my work and post it on other platforms. DO NOT feed my work to AI fuck that.

It wasn’t uncommon for you and Lily to be gossiping late at night in your dorm, however, it was uncommon for Remus to be stopping by to borrow a book this late at night. Usually he would wait until the morning, but something pulled him towards your dorm.

Your dorm room door was slightly ajar and he could hear the soft whispers and giggles coming from yours and Lily’s side of the room. He knew he should’ve knocked, but he couldn’t help himself from overhearing your conversation.

“Lily stop!” A string of giggles followed your comment. He listened in closer at the sudden remark from you.

“Okay, okay! But I know you have a thing for him!!” Remus’s heart sunk to his feet, of course you’d like someone else.

“Of course I do! You know I do! He’s just *so* perfect, Lily, not to mention gorgeous,” he just barely heard the last part, but if Remus’s heart could sink any further than it had, then it would. Even though he’d hoped that you would have any kind of romantic feelings for him, he didn’t count on it.

Now here he was, standing outside of your dorm like a creep, just trying to get some kind of contact with you.

He did not end up seeing you, in fact he doesn’t really want to see you right now.

He turned around to leave when he heard another shrill giggle.

“You think his pranks are funny?!”

“As much as I hate to admit it, I do. But how can you not??”

“It’s so childish!!”

Pranks. It’s James. You’re in love with James. Why wouldn’t you be? Captain of the quidditch team, prefect, gorgeous, and apparently show stopping hilarious.

Remus knew coming to your dorm was a bad idea in the first place and now he really regrets doing so.

His book can wait until tomorrow or quite literally never. How is he honestly going to talk to you ever again? He walked back to his dorm with his head sunken and his heart even more.

He walks slowly to his bed, now in a pissed mood.

“D’you get your book, mate?” Peter asks innocently from his side of the room, while arranging his blankets, however he seemed to have caught Remus in a funk, because Remus sends a pillow flying, hitting him in the head.

Remus lays down and covers his head with a blanket, not speaking another word to anyone.

Back in your dorm, only seconds after Remus booked it out of there, you and Lily are still gossiping, “Lily, I know he doesn’t feel the same way,”

“Remus is just shy, that’s all, I’m not sure he would be too confident to tell you about he feels, that’s why you need to say something.”

You huffed at her, “But I don’t want to, he’s just so amazing and perfect, I don’t know, just talking about this makes me want to die of embarrassment.”

“Stop, it’s not embarrassing,”

Marlene, from across the room, chips in to the conversation, “It is embarrassing how loud you lot are being right now, shut up and go to sleep.”

You and Lily rolled your eyes and shrugged her off before beginning to get ready for bed.

As you slipped under the covers, Lily whispered one more thing to you, “Tell him!”

It’s safe to say you would be overthinking until you fell asleep.

The next morning you knew something was up. Remus wouldn’t look at you or even stay near you anytime you came up to him.

He knows. He has to know. And now you’ve ruined your friendship with him because of a silly crush.

At dinner later that night, you walked into the Great Hall to where you normally sit. Remus was sitting across from James and Sirius and next to Peter. You sat down next to Remus, trying to rekindle your relationship with him.

Unfortunately this was also a spot across from James.

“Hey, I haven’t seen you all day,” James said through a mouthful of food.

“Yeah, I was running around school trying to figure out this potions project,”

Remus stands abruptly and storms out of the Great Hall.

James, Sirius, and Peter all share a confused look.

“What was all that about?” Peter looks at you.

“I don’t know, I think he’s upset with me, he’s been like this all day,” you shrug your shoulders and hang your head a little.

“Oh don’t I believe it, I’ve been caught on the wrong end of his attitude. ‘Bout chopped my head off over me asking to borrow a quill,” Sirius rolls his eyes.

James thinks, “Are we missing a full moon?”

“No, it was only 2 weeks ago,”

“I think he knows, you know, about my thing for him, why else would he be avoiding me?”

“I promise you he doesn’t know,” Peter comforts you, “He’s too oblivious to know, you could have your tongue down his throat and he would still think you lot are just friends.”

“I’m so embarrassed,” you put your head in your hands.

“You’re fine, he doesn’t know,”

“I don’t know, I should go after him. Should I go after him?”

“Maybe we should just let him be for a minute.”

A minute turned to hours, hours turned to days, days turned into a week, and any of you barely had any contact with Remus.

Until Friday night before the quidditch match, Remus hadn’t spoken a word to anyone and avoided you at all costs.

Before the game he stopped James as he headed into the team’s tent.

“James,”

“Hey, mate, see you’ve finally come to your senses and came to talk to me,” James said with a tinge of sass. To say James was upset at Remus was an understatement, James hated to be shut out by his friends.

“Just shut up and listen. She has this huge thing for you and you should know that, just in case she tries something tonight at the party, just be gentle with her,” Remus shoots out quickly, talking about you.

James looks at him like he’s batshit crazy.

“…What?”

“James I know you’re smarter than you look, you know who I’m talking about,”

“Yeah, I do, but there’s no way,”

“Yes there is, I heard her and Lily talking about you when I went to borrow that book,”

“Okay… are you sure?”

“As sure as the day is long.”

James pulled a face at him, “Okay, mate, yeah. Whatever you say.” He patted Remus on the shoulder as he walked into the tent.

Why was James being so sarcastic with him? Remus would do anything for your attention and affection. Remus brushed off James’ attitude and went to find a seat in the stands

He watched as the Gryffindor team came out of the tunnel and began the match against Hufflepuff.

Both you and James were chasers, Remus sat slumped in between Lily and Mary as he watched you and James fly close together.

In the air, far from the stands, James absolutely unloaded to you about what Remus had said to him before the match.

“I’m serious, I think he’s actually dense,”

“James be nice, he’s probably just not thinking straight,”

“I’m serious, he held me at the tent, telling me how much you are in love with me and how he overheard you and Lily,”

“Oh? What?”

“Yes when he came to borrow that book or whatever,”

“When? I haven’t even seen him all week?”

“It was Sunday night I think.”

Sunday? Sunday. You were talking about Remus. Not James. Merlin, he really is dense.

Neither of your attentions were really on the game anymore and the two of you had just been circling around the pitch passing around the quaffle.

You had Remus stressed. Why were you and James just talking? What are you talking about? This is the worst match he’s ever been to, he should’ve just stayed in his dorm.

Marlene circled around you and took the quaffle, “If you’re going to fly circles around the Hufflepuff players, at least score us some points. Talk about your gossip shit on the ground,” she shouted out.

Finally snapped back into it, you centered your focus on the game around you. How are you going to make this right?

The game ran longer than normal because of the close score, but Gryffindor had ended up catching the snitch, abruptly ending the match.

You and the rest of the team showered and headed to the Gryffindor common room, just ready to conk out on the couches, but alas, the Gryffindor common room never sleeps.

When you arrived, there was a bustling party. James, Sirius, and Marlene jumped right in, some of the other players went up to their dorms, but what could it hurt if you stayed down a bit longer?

You scanned the party for your close friends, mostly Lily. When you had found her, you dragged her off to a quieter part of the room and told her everything James had said on the pitch.

“I agree with James, he’s actually dense,” Lily rolled her eyes.

“Why would he think I have a thing for James? That’s outrageous!!”

“I don’t know, maybe you should talk to him,” she pointed over to where Remus was sitting on the stairs alone, only observing the party, swirling a cup of who knows what.

You approach him, but he didn’t seem to register it; he was lost in his own world.

“I heard you’ve been spying on me,” you say gently, but loud enough he could hear you over the music. He looks up at you and then down at his cup, his cheeks flushed.

“May I?” you point to the spot next to him and he nods.

“You know I think you really are dense,” he snaps his head at you.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me. How could you possibly think I like James?”

“You said- you said he was gorgeous and perfect and his pranks-“

“Yeah, I did say he was, but I didn’t say James was,”

“So it’s Sirius or Peter then?” He thought hard next to you, everything you said applies to all his friends.

“Merlin, you really are stupid.”

You roll your eyes at him and grab his shirt pulling him in closer to you. Your lips collide with his softly and he’s shocked, but gives in.

You pull away and he looks at you dumbfounded, “So you said all those things about me?”

“Do I need to make myself clear again?”

“Actually, I do think so,” he says with a smug grin.

You pull him in for another kiss, it’s safe to say he doesn’t think you like James anymore.

#james & peter & remus & sirius #remus lupin x reader #marauders era #marauders x reader #marauders #remus lupin #remus is dumb #james potter #sirius being sirius #sirius black #peter pettigrew #marlene mckinnon #lily evans #mary macdonald

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psychelis-new · 2 months

Text

pick a pile: "What type of karma/karmic cycle are you healing now"

[TW FILLED READING]

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about what karmic cycle you are called to end in this moment and the triggers that may be related to it. it could be something from this life or a past life as well. piles seem to be interconnected somehow so if you're called by more than one pile, it's okay (but remember to focus on the word "now" when asking your question). reminder that I'm not a therapist of sort, so take everything with a grain of salt or just as an input to maybe navigate further within or contact a professional figure (if necessary according to you ofc). it's also a general reading so messages may not/all be for you.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life. readings do not substitute real life experience nor professionals/doctors advices.

(photos found on unsplash)

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1 2 3 4 - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1 (relationships/communication)

You are probably healing something related to your connections/relationships. It could be something you couldn't see properly in your past (or at least you couldn't see from a different perspective) but now you are starting to realize or will soon. Maybe it's an habit you picked up in your early life, like wearing a mask in fear of being judged or left alone, or people pleasing, or always being there for others but feeling like a burden when it was you the one supposed to receive as much (and therefore acting as an independent person who doesn't need anything and for whom everything is fine). Maybe you also *fear* misinterpret others' behaviours in your regards, or you may overthinking if they are somehow betraying you or something. Like treating you in a certain way but actually thinking differently of you? Maybe you fear being lied to, somehow. And not being really appreciated unless you overgive and try to not bother them with your "problems" (which are problems ofc, but you may try to keep them for yourself and deal with them alone or deem them as less important than others' problems and put them in a second position -as you put yourself on a second choice level compared to others). You may be thinking: if you give so much and don't ask for anything in return, how could they leave you? It could be a reasonable thought, but at the end of the day it's not... Relationships are far more complex than this, and also very different (so maybe not everything in this pile may resonate with you).

Ofc it's understandable where you come from: you probably had been dealing with lies/betrayals/abandonment of different kind in your life and now it's hard to both be yourself and also trust others. But the message you send when you're being too self-reliant/independent (a silent cry for help despite what you're showing) cannot often be heard by them. All they can read between the lines is: "I'm okay, I don't need you". And ofc, this doesn't make people interested in you, especially if it's an habit of yours to keep them out of your needs (and out of your life: people cannot read our minds, and they're not here for that. But those who care would like to experience the joy of helping us, if we let them in and told them about us and what we need. They'd love to help us as much as we love to help them. They'd love to feel as happy and warm inside as we feel after we help them. But maybe first we need to stop and think about who we really are and what we really need from others, and from ourselves too. And let ourselves be vulnerable, knowing we can survive anything and that often others' reaction to us are not related inherently to us: we're not responsible of what they do with our trust/words).

You're learning how to properly communicate your needs, your fears and your boundaries. How to let others see you for who you are without any fear of judgement. How to be able to properly receive all that you wish for in a relationship. In order to do this, you need to take a brave step and look at what is going on from another perspective, different from the one that is suggesting you you're simply not good enough to have good and fulfilling relationships; or that you're unlovable or that people leaves cause you're just supposed to be alone forever. Or that everyone hates you. That is not so. Don't trust your wounded ego in this, do not follow its pattern into the hole. Be stronger than those fears, and see yourself as the lovely, kind and sweet human being you are. The very deserving of love and acceptance human being you are. And start by loving and accepting who you really are. You're not too much to bear with (as I read not long ago: when you fear being too much asking for something, it's generally because you didn't get enough of that). Analyze your relationships from a more objective point of view: we tend to see the "guilt" in the others (we blame them for abandoning us/letting us down, feeling resentful for how they treat us but also powerless when confronting them) or in ourselves (we're not enough for them/we cannot be seen and this may makes us angry too), but in relationships the truth is often halfway. And lack of proper communication, respect and understanding is what ruins everything (together with possibly not-compatible issues/traumas: if someone cannot give you what you ask for it's okay, other people will be able to fulfill your needs. Do not stuck/fixate yourself to receive from one single person everything you need, stay open. And let yourself be seen first: do not always wait for others to be interested in you to start with; at times it's hard for people to climb our walls and they may renounce, so at least lower them a little here and there, as you feel comfortable to. For as much as it can be okay to generally not be the one always taking the initiative, it's good to occasionally do that and show interest in the other as well). Anyway, don't be too harsh on yourself: you always acted and act for your best, to save yourself from pain, and you couldn't see that you probably were helping this pain staying alive, unconsciously searching for confirmations of its existance and of your inhability to have good relationships (maybe you were searching for them in the wrong places?). Forgive yourself and others (especially those who gaslighted, diminished, silenced or *unconsciously* taught you that you're not worthy first), and let things change for your best. Let your people find you.

For a few: If by any chance, you're not hiding yourself but actually trying to stand out or show yourself at any given time, it's probably the other face of the same coin. You try to get the attention you couldn't get to receive and what you learned is that to get it, you need to stand out or call for others/interrupt them, make them notice you, show you're as worthy if not more by being more vocal, and feel better about yourself after succeeding. Many people may not appreciate this or believe you do it as a form of egoism, but it's generally not so. Try to balance and listen to others too, do not just let your fear of ending up being unseen take you over and eclipse others (Ik you can't always see that cause you're trying to fulfill your own need and therefore unconsciously closing off from others' ones, but it can happen). You'll be seen as much as you need anyway. Be patient. :)

song: through the dark | vanbur

[if you're called by pile 3 as well, feel free to take a look + if you have been seeing lot of 3s, it could be a confirmation for this pile n.1 being yours]

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pile 2 (control/abandonment issues)

Out of all the piles, I think yours is the one needing more work, and also more patience, time and reflection/introspection. Be kind with yourself and go slow.

You're probably closing (or need to close) a chapter in regards to your need to be in control of what is going on in your future/life. You're deeply scared of the unknown, of not being able to control what is happening and probably you also fear not being able to take your own decisions but having to conform or accept whatever is going on for you. And ofc this is scary because the moment something you don't want to will happen, you won't have any other choice but to lower your head and obey/go with it. It's like you're caged. The future and this *fake* lack of control are making you pretty anxious and in need of knowing every detail of your life before taking any action, to be sure it's all okay. Maybe you also fear not being able to really close with this chapter and being trapped in it forever? As said, not knowing how things may turn out, would be too "risky" for you. I feel like it's also too scary to receive some kind of "no", whatever it may be about. It would crash you (or you think it would, somehow... but why?).

You probably need to separate yourself from what is going on around you. Nobody has real control on what life offers to us and when/how, nor on others' feelings about us (which only depend on how those people see us from their personal pov and based on their own experience of life, on their background: they can only have opinions of us based also on what we allow them to see of us). But we have whole control on ourselves, on our emotions and on how we respond to life and other people' choices/thoughts about us (what we make them mean about us). And we have control on what we want to do, how, when, why and if we want to say "no" to something. We have free will (I understand in some cultures and maybe also families it's a bit more complicated than this, but maybe you can get to at least politely talk and show your pov instead of giving up since the first minute? Or find a compromise on something else. Idk... Maybe it won't go as bad as you think, especially if you also silenced yourself out of fear in the past. Maybe the no's we've got in the past were about a specific thing for a reason, and not about everything as we think). I guess many times you just accepted your fate/destiny in the form of a decision taken by someone else (an authority figure of any type, from a boss to a parent... even tarot/astrology readings -excessive/anxious consume-?), without ever contraddicting them, feeling you're the one that doesn't know anything, feeling not enough to/inferior. Accepting what they were telling you about who you are and who you are supposed to be and obeying, living up to that (in pain and resentful, but still...). Or maybe this is also a way to save yourself from failing? If it's someone else guiding your life or telling you what to do/who you are, you won't have to take the blame of being "wrong" or feel guilty for having taken a "bad" decision and being a bad person, maybe. While it's good to get guidance and opinions in proper/healthy ways, we cannot let others take decisions for us all the times. They cannot live our whole life for us: we are beings that are too complex to be reduced to what others just perceive of us or want us to be. I think you may be dealing with perfectionism and fear of failure too: maybe you learned you need to keep specific high standards (in what you say, think, do...) to feel worthy/loved/appreciated, and not living up to them may mean, somehow, that you lost your self worth or it changed (lowered).

But that's not true: your self worth is always the same since the day you came on this Earth and it's the same as the one of everyone else on this planet, even if you cannot see it because of how you were/are treated or treated yoursef. Or feel you were treated: as kids we don't understand the reasons behind adults' behaviours, and if they too are not so emotionally stable or able to verbally explain things, it may be difficult to understand what is going on since we are learning all that from them (= esp. the "authority figures" around us: caregivers/parents/teachers/relatives...). We may make their reaction to us not being "perfect" (= not acting as they would want us to) mean we're not enough, we're bad, not deserving enough, and that we need to perform better to receive something good/praise/love and to obey to them, because we cannot take decisions that are correct. We're a failure and cannot do anything right. And we may risk losing them or them may let us down/abandon us if we don't perform well.

I think you need to move into known water, to know everything is good and will be good, so that you know you won't fail? Or that you won't be considered as "bad", whatever that bad means to you (probably that you're not worthy of something, of others, of... Idk). Not knowing/not having the control means you won't be sure of how things will be and if you will be able to make it, to survive (yes you will), to be considered well and... not abandoned. But if you keep the control of what is going on and get confirmations that you're taking the right decision before taking it definitely, and that all will be fine, you can actually perform well and do things right and be sure of your success and nobody will see you as a loser and leave... right? Well yes, but no. Cause that's not something that you or anyone's actually able to do: we cannot control what's outside of us and know every little detail of it with absolute certainty... And those "authorities" may be wrong as well when taking decisions for you. You may be scared of being you cause you feel like you lack something (you are "unable to do things well", eg.) and people may end up leaving, while if you try to control everything (eg. plan what to say/do based on how others will respond/what they like and not on who you are and what you think for real) instead you'll know that all it's fine and safe and you're okay and they won't leave, and you'll be accepted and a good person. But again, we cannot control it all: many things are not depending on us in this life and probably.. it's about trying to deal with your guilt (an old wound too, again in regards of how you see yourself and think you are seen: "imperfect/flawed", bad) and letting yourself just be you. We're all imperfect and flawed, occasionally bad; we need to forgive ourselves and just be kind with ourselves cause we're trying our best anyway, especially when we're actually trying: it means we're allowing ourselves to take risks and live our life no matter how it will be, but we'll get to live it fully at least. And to decide for our own self. To see what can happen good, to trust that the unknown doesn't have to be bad, nor us, even if we're not "perfect" (remind yourself that perfection is not an absolute dogma, everyone of us has their own definition of perfection, and society has its own as well that btw keeps on changing whether it's physical or about life goals. Someone not liking you doesn't mean nobody likes you). Take control of your fears, talk with them, acknowledge them and love them. Be there for them and yourself: you can do this.

song: just one day | deproducers

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pile 3 (self neglect/emotional avoidance)

You're generally healing a cycle of self neglect. You either dismissed or deemed your experience as less important or worthy, you probably use/d to compare with others a lot and see them as better than you too. Or more deserving. I think you may have disconnected from yourself in order to follow and help others, or out of a huge traumatic experience (nothing strange here: it's a common self defense mechanism). You probably felt responsible for others cause that's what you learned is your duty here (also to survive/save yourself in some way: eg. you had to grow in an "unsafe" environment, so you tried to keep it as emotionally safe as you could by taking charge of making the mood/solving problems that weren't yours to solve, or something like that; you could have learned to read others' emotions by being hypervigilant of their moves/words so to predict their moods and save yourself), but it's not so.

You're trying or are called to come back to yourself. To get back in touch with your core. To do this, it's important to take time for yourself, and do some self reflection (journaling could be a way too: you don't have to write things chronologically or that are reasonable, just let your thoughts/emotions flow). Reconnect with your body too through healing movements (yoga, walking, exercising... as you wish) or simply taking good care of it by giving it rest and the correct supplements it needs. Realize your worth and that you're deserving of receiving and give to yourself, especially time (you have lot!). It's important that you reconnect with yourself also cause that way you can reconnect with your intuition as well and trust yourself again. You may have stopped trusting signs or downloads or even your own feelings or gut instincts, deeming them (and yourself) as wrong, incorrect, likely to fail. But that's just probably a fear of yours: an insecurity that originates from having judged your mistakes too harshly (maybe after having being criticized the same way a lot, or having been caused to feel guilty for unimportant stuff, even unwillingly -cause of other people's issues: especially if you were surrounded by people self criticizing a lot or self talking negatively, you may have picked up this same habit too. But what if instead of "stupid/ignorant" you're just distracted or tired/stressed and therefore you made a mistake, that is very likely solvable too?). On a side note, self trust doesn't mean you feel sure and okay when taking an action. You may still have doubts or not like what you may need to do. We're still humans, and we can trust ourselves and still be scared of being wrong. But our intuition will always tell us if what we're doing is the right thing to do, no matter how it will turn out (intuition may not always be right especially if we're not grounded and also if->).

Your inner critic/wounded ego may be a bit too strict when it comes to you, pretending perfection in you in particular but also around you. Being ready to always point out every little flaw or incongruence that you may see. It may really shut your intuition as well. All this acts as a self defense mechanism: getting what you wish and having your intuition actually pointing you towards that result could be scary, so you tend to find flaws or imperfections in it to keep yourself away from that and safe in a known situation (even if it's not what you want). But we can only end up ruin intuition when trying to look at it through reason/thoughts. You may need a lot of constant reassurance, cause you may tend to overthink a lot and get any little negative sign as the confirmation things aren't going well (at times you may also be so focused on needing a specific answer that you may shut other possible ones out of you: try to stay grounded and open before asking for confirmations or such, especially from your Guides). You may also tend to project your fears and perceived imperfections on others: as Carl Gustav Jung said, we tend to project and judge others first to defend ourselves from their judgement, but it's actually ourselves that we're judging. Not them.

It's okay to put yourself first: as long as you are not trying to impose yourself on/take advantage of others, you're just putting yourself on their same level. And showing yourself you're deserving of as much. And you do. You don't have to always help others reach their goals by giving up on yours, or letting them having what you want: you're too kind for this world, but this world won't give you a prize for doing this. It will just give you nothing (and this also if you're doing it out of fear of actually getting what you want, not just cause you think others are better than you or you better play it safe to feel included/not be let down). So, fight for what you want. Acknowledge your wishes, emotions, desires... yourself. Show how much you care about yourself and stop comparing with others: there will always be someone better than you but not in everything. They may be better at something, but not at everything (put things into perspective). And even if they were better at everything, according to you, are you sure that your definition of better is the same as the rest of the world's one? Or is it personal of your life/you being harsh on you? And what if you can reach their level too instead of feeling inferior them? Or what if you're already there but just cannot see it?... What if you're just different and nobody is worse or better, actually? What if your different is what's is best for someone else, and for you too? It may feel scary, but try to be more balanced when it comes to see your worth and what you can do, who you are. When it comes to trust yourself. There's so much you can have, and already have, don't close your eyes to it our of fear. At times we need to do the scary thing: take ourselves by the hand and move in unknown waters. And it doesn't have to be as unsafe as it seems. Master your ability and knowledge, learn from your emotions instead of shutting them down out of fear of knowing them and their reasons (you may fear finding some hurtful truth in the process: if so, and if it feels too much, ask for help or guidance to someone you trust or a professional figure): they don't want to hurt you, they want to teach you and help you work on what you need in order to get what you deserve and want. Listen to yourself, come back to you.

For a few: Again, don't let your wounds/fears disconnect you from your intuition or make you misunderstand a need of yours with an intuitive hint. At times we may misinterpret signs/symbols because we really need a specific answer/confirmation emotionally/to feel better (especially in hard times). And having any little confirmation (or what we think it's so) can cause us to focus on something generally comforting/entertaining as a way to distract ourselves from the real problem/issue. Focusing on that problem could be too scary/overwhelming so we try to attach ourselves/fixate on other things/ideas/emotions to avoid dealing with the "real" ones. But we may not realize it. And for as comforting as it may look on the surface, it could really be something not good for us, as it may also lead to delusion (related to that specific thing/idea: be mindful, great things will come for you anyway and that's out of question. It's not an absolute no, but a call to see yourself and heal first). Therefore yes, try to focus and know your emotions first after having neglected yourself (and having been neglected) so much. Take good care of you.

song: under the bridge | all saints

[if you're called by pile 1 as well, feel free to take a look]

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pile 4 (discomfort/changing)

You're probably dealing or learning to deal with discomfort in your life. I think maybe you don't feel like you belong with the environment you are in (it may also be about who you are, not just where), and you may feel isolated. Or probably it's a bunch of different reasons, like a huge tower moment you're going through where it seems everything is against you and you cannot find a way out. It's a sad/lonely period, negative period in general and it may be more or less long. Pretty umcomfortable time in general. You're healing and losing sight of what else is going on. You're called to take a look within, into your heart, and like try to bring it back to life (esepcially if you feel "numb" somehow or lost) to realize it can beat again and you have power against all the darkness and negativity around and inside of you. You can still fight for yourself and win. Darkness is also there, the moment we learn how to watch it, to make the light shine brighter. To help us find happiness and peace too. To enjoy the process of change, and that change can actually be good despite the discomfort. And that healing is a part of our life, not all of it.

As humans, we tend to focus on what goes bad and notice all the other things that go as bad, even the smallest ones, losing sight of the little good that is around (as it kind of lose importance in our negative perspective: who cares if the sun is shining again and flowers are blossoming when there's this *negative thing* in my life?). Probably it's a matter of balancing better your thoughts, without letting them spiral and take you places you're not supposed to go (and won't even get to go: when we spiral, we may just end up creating fake thoughts in our mind out of fears and general negativity. This will keep the cycle alive and not let us get out of it but just kind of even attract more bad stuff into our life -or notice it more easily-. When we're more positive/happier, we shine, attract better things and are able to see also the good side and good events that do always happen in our life, despite everything else). When for example we don't get rid of the stress we may pick up in our daily life (even a slightly stressing situation may create an imbalance in our emotional and mental state if we don't get rid of the excess of energy it creates), when we're used to respond with fear/stress/anxiety to specific triggers even if we know we're safe, when we need for things to not change in order to feel safe, when we're tired, sleepy, cannot give our body the correct supplements it needs and feel depleted... we create the perfect inner environment for ourselves to start being overwhelmed and even spiralling or having panic attacks/burnouts at the smallest next stressing event. And the urgency we get to get out of that negativity asap, may just add more stress and pull us further down.

Do not let all these illusions to govern you, whether you create them in your mind, increasing your emotional instability when you start overtinking (even random unreal stuff that you have no proof may happen: our minds tend to fill up the void/the unknown/future with negative/fearful/fake thoughts so to block us in the same old cycle. They do this to keep us safe but we can show them that maybe they don't have to fear the unknown for they don't know how it will be for real) or you allow them to take space in your mind cause you "forget" to take care of you to give them attention. You are the one in control of your emotions and of your choices/priorities: most of the times anxiety originates from overthinking our insecurities and our "inability" (we feel the one always "wrong", lacking, failing... maybe also cause we don't trust our memory. But once you are grounded and trust yourself, your insecurity won't have much power anymore). You can take breaks and give yourself a time out before things get out of control. You can talk with your heart, with yourself, and your inner child too (probably the one who bears most of the stress and fear for various reasons -this may not be your only pile ig), and you can find space and time to disconnect from the stress you are experiencing. You can distract yourself by focusing on more comfortable things, using any of the various methods you can find online (focusing on naming things around you, on your breathing, on feeling your body and where you are/your senses...). You don't have to confront your fears immediately, and again you don't have to follow them. Or you can stop following them. It's not easy, especially at first, to recognize what is happening, so give yourself time and be patient. It's okay to shut those voices inside, and focus on something else, especially on you and what may be your needs at that time: prepare yourself for a bath or treat yourself something, anything that can relax you and nurture you; it's important to give yourself back, especially when you need breaks after working hard so that you realize you did well and can unwind from the stress of it. Especially, take naps if you can or need: I feel pretty drained suddenly. Try to not sleep deprive yourself (ofc overthinking/stressing can be very draining so it may be that that's also not allowing you to sleep/rest properly). If you're scared of sleeping because you may either lose time or have nightmares, remember you have time (plan it well: even a 5-10 minutes nap can work magic) and work on what these fears mean for you and how they originated: what are the nightmares about, what they want to show you about you? Ask for help if you need, also if you cannot deal with the negativity and all that is happening by yourself. For as long as it's good to distract yourself from triggers when you feel too overwhelmed, it's also good to try and check them more closely once you feel more calm/grounded, to see why they're there and what they want to show you about you, what you may still need to heal. What you may need to do to free yourself from this negative cage and see things from a more positive (or at least neutral) perspective. Yes, if you cannot change your mental pattern, work on finding similar sentences to those your mind is suggesting you that may have a more neutral meaning.

When things change, they change emotionally and energetically first (you can feel it in you, despite it not being so clear but just feeling unsettling), and that's what you may need to work on the most. Changing may feel scary and may bring you lot of negativity or mental/emotional traps or make you fall into a negative pattern about how it may be. It may re-open old wounds, even ones you didn't know existed in you. It may give you fallbacks about triggers/issues you thought you healed already (healing is not linear and these are perfectly fine: plus the closer we get to ending a cycle, the stronger they get). But with patience and time, self compassion and forgiveness, you can work through all of them and see them from another pov. You can use them at your advantage too. You can start seeing the good again. Take time to grieve what you're leaving behind, to give yourself proper closure, and move on. Stay balanced and present, enjoy also whatever else life is offering you at the moment, and do not discard anything out of fear of not being healed yet (being healed also means we do not react unheathily/anxiously to triggers anymore, not necessarily that we do not get triggered anymore; and we don't know what experiences we may need to make in order to "complete" our healing process or check it: trust your balanced self).

song: forward motion | daya

#pac #pick a pile #pick a card #pick a card tarot #pick a picture #pick a card reading #pick a photo #divination #tw triggers #tw trauma #tarot readings #tarots #healing #intuitive readings #psychic readings #clairs readings #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #self help

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imdeadinsidesiriuslydead · 10 months

Text

~Cracked Mask~ pt.2

Jason Todd x fem!reader

pt. 2 to the this

Minors! Don’t! Read! This! You have been warned!

warnings: cursing (I mean it’s Jason Todd so), feelings, miscommunication, frustration. Also smut?!? Maybe?!? Read and find out 😏😘

a/n: I really didn’t expect people to like the part 1 cause I kinda rushed through the ending. But I don’t see any angsty Jason fics that show his more awkward side and thought I would just have to write it myself. So enjoy.

—-

When you got back to the manor and took a shower you cried.

You didn’t cry cause Jason regret it. I mean you regretted it too. You cried cause you embarrassed yourself in front of your teammate.

You cried cause you had to look Batman, Thee Batman, in the eye and say you failed. You’ve never felt more embarrassed.

You got out of the shower and we’re heading back to your room when Barbara came wheeling over to you.

You put on a fake smile and greeted her as normal.

“what’s up?” You ask.

“what’s up with me? What’s up with you? Ever since getting back from that mission you’ve seemed off.” She said in a kind voice.

“I’m just-“ you swallowed “embarrassed that I failed my first mission with Batman there.” You said quietly.

This wasn’t just patrol, this was a real life big mission and you fail cause you were hit with sex pollen, which you are still trying to wrap your head around on why Poison ivy used that on you.

Barbara gave you a sympathetic look. “Don’t beat yourself up about it. Poison Ivy is tough. I didn’t take her down my first few tries.” She smiled.

“Really?” You asked. You had grown up with a poster of batgirl on your wall. You idolized her. She was your hero. It’s hard to think she ever failed when all the girl power posters made her seem untouchable.

“Oh yea.” She laughed. “One time Riddler knocked me out my first time fighting him.” She laughed remembering the good ole days. “Can you believe it? Riddler. He’s so scrawny!”

you laughed along with her and as you settled down she gave you a look.

“The first few missions by yourself won’t be perfect. You have to learn how to hold your own in a fight without Batman being there for backup. No one said it would be easy. But you get better by trail and error. You have to get real world experience of fighting the criminals one on one to be able to stop them. You’ll get it next time” she smiled.

You smiled back at her as your mind drifted back to the mission. It was cut short cause of the pollen.

that stupid fucking pollen.

If you had landed correctly on your fall, you wouldn’t have been affected by the pollen. You wouldn’t have desperately asked Jason to make you cu-

“Y/N. Did anything else happen on this mission?” She asked softly. “Did Jason say anything or do anything that should concern me?”

“No!” You reply almost too quickly. “No, the mission was my fault. He didn’t do anything.”

“okay.” She replied. But as she watched you walk back to your room her gut told her something was wrong. She had to ask Jason, she could always read him and get him to fess up.

———

Barbara sawed out Jason in the Library. He usually came in here to read or hide from Dick. She found him sitting on the couch reading “Pride and prejudice”

“Jace, I have a bone to pick with you.” She stated sternly, wheeling towards Jason.

“Can it wait? I’m at my favorite part.” He says not looking up.

“No it cannot. And you have read that book a thousand times since freshman year.” She says as she moves herself to sit on the couch.

“Jeez. What’yd do to piss off Bruce this time.” He laughed. But as Babs stared him down he stopped laughing.

“I’m here to talk about Y/N.” She states matter of factly.

Jason’s face falls.

Barbara sighs. “I don’t know what happened on the mission, and I’m not asking for you to tell me.” Jason sighs in relief. “But that does not mean that I’m going to let Y/N torture herself with overthink every single detail of the mission. Whatever happened between you two, you need to talk it out. Y/N’s working herself up over whatever happened.”

Jason looked away from her and grimaced.

“Look. Jace, I know you hate talking about feelings and everything but, to work as a team you need to be able to communicate. Y/N just wants to feel apart of this team. But it will always be blocked if you don’t fix whatever happened.” Barbara never breaks eye contact, showing her seriousness.

“Fine.” He says annoyed. “I’ll go talk about my feelings and apologize.” He gets up and walks to the door.

“You got this Jason!” Barbara laughs as Jason flicks her off.

———

Y/N was sitting on her bed folding laundry when she heard a knock on her door.

“Come in!” Jason walks through the door and awkwardly stands by it. Y/N looks up from her neatly folded clothes to see the last person she wanted to see right now.

“Do you need something?” Y/N asked trying really hard to maintain eye contact and act as if it was a normal conversation.

“We need to talk.” Jason states looking anywhere but her face. “I know your upset that we failed-“ he nervously played with his fingers.

“We don’t need to.” You say turning back to your laundry.

“Yes, yes we do. I need to explain my-“ he explained nervously

“Nope. No. I get it. I was in pain. I asked a question and put you on the spot. It all happened fast after you sniffed the pollen too. It makes you impulsive in your decisions and your-“ you swallowed “your words. I don’t need to hold you accountable for what you said. I-“

“Oh,You mean when I said I wanted you under me since you got here?” Jason cut you off. He seemed to have gotten what you were implying. “Wait you’re upset because you think I lied?”he asked, his face turning almost smug. He had a new found confidence all of a sudden. You were taken aback by the switch.

you froze. You waited for it, for the rejection. You felt tears brim your eyes as you were about to be subject to embarrassment.

“You asked me to help you, how could I not.” You felt a tear start to slip. “I couldn’t say no when you were begging so pretty for me.”

You felt like the wind had got knocked out of your lungs.

“The pollen doesn’t make you lie. The pollen makes you horny to a point of pain. It didn’t make me forcibly dry hump you.” You blushed at the crudeness of his words.

you felt his presence behind you. “I don’t know. I thought you were hot before, but when you were laying there begging for me”

he leaned closer, you could feel his breath on your neck. “I got so hard. Your blushing cheeks and wide eyes, that tight suit of yours. I just couldn’t help myself.” He whispers in your ear.

You could feel your wetness pooling in your panties. You skin felt on fire as his lips gently caressed your neck. You subconsciously leaned back into him.

“I didn’t lie. I wanted you under me since the second you walked through the door.” You felt his hand caress the side of your waist as he spoke. “ and I won’t lie now, I want you under me again, if you’ll have me,” he spoke as he removed his lips from your neck.

You turned around to face him. He looked so perfect. His hair slightly messy with the white tuff hanging in his face, his pink cheeks and eyes clouded by lust.

“I thought I had forced your hand. I thought you regretted it.” You said in a breathless daze.

“I regret I didn’t do it properly. With an introduction, date, and a romantic gesture but there was no time for that when you were in pain.” He said.

you got a mischievous glint in your eye as you looked up at him. “Well if you could restart, how would you have done it?” You ask.

“Well i start it with the simplest thing. The truth.” He had a charming smile on his face, all lust removed. “I like you, would you want to go out with me?” He asked.

“yes.” You said with a giggle. “Then what?”

Y/N watched his face contort to something more sinister. “I’d take you home, after the first few dates, and turn on so music.” He said with his seductive charm.

You turned around and pressed your back to his chest. “Then what?” You asked teasingly.

“Then we start our slow. Kissing you first, letting my hands explore your body.” He whispered as his lips returned to your neck. His hands slowly caressing your sides.

You breathed in a gasp.

“Then I’d lay you down and play with you.” He said as one hand made its way down your pants and the other went up to your chest.

He left wet open mouth kisses on your neck has his right hand slid underneath your waistband. He massaged your core through your panties and let out a moan in you ear.

You whined as you felt him rub your clit through the fabric. You wiggled your hips against his crotch, feeling his boner press into your lower back. His big frame engulfed you as he moved his arms around you.

He started kneeling your breast in his hand as his other slipped into your underwear and slid through your folds.

He groaned in your ear “so wet for me.”

you moaned as you felt a single finger enter you, and slowly pull out before entering again.

You moved your hand behind you and grabbed his bulge. He moaned in your ear before he removed your hand.

“Not right now, this is about you.” He said as he spun you around to face him before leaning in and kissing you.

His kiss was soft, like before on the rooftop but now, filled with so much need. He moaned against you lips and pushed you on the bed, knocking over the neat pile of folded laundry. He pulled away and smiled nervously “Sorry. I’ll fix that later.” He said before quickly kissing you again.

He slotted his hips between you legs and you felt his hard dick press against your thigh. He pulled at the end of your shirt before pulling back and looking in your eyes.

“May I?” He asked.

“Please.” You said breathlessly.

He smirked and took you shirt off. He started kissing down your neck and chest before unhooking your bra.

He looked at your bare breasts and moaned before kissing and sucking down them.

You moaned as he took them in his mouth. And grabbed his hair, tugging. He groaned against you skin sending divers down your spine.

his kisses get lower and lower until he is right above your waistband. He pulls your pants down and returns his attention back your clit. Rubbing as he watches in awe.

He looks you in the eye before moving to mouth at your clit through your panties. You moan again and grab his hair causing him the groan. The vibrations going straight to your clit.

“Fuck Jason.” You breath as he slowly pulls you panties down before spreading your legs open.

“Such a pretty pussy all wet for me.” He said as he slides his fingers through your wet folds.

“Jason please.” You beg.

“Please what?” He teases.

“Please eat me out!” You ask while looking him in the eye.

His facade falls for a second. His wide eyes and blushing cheeks giving away his own nervousness before he smiles his charming smile again.

“You don’t have to ask me twice.” He said before he leans down and immediately attaches his mouth to your clit.

He starts to eat you out like a starved man, and all you could do was moan. You gripped his hair occasionally tugging to feel him moan against your heat.

soon you were bucking your hips against his face begging him to go faster. He flicks his younger harder before replacing his younger with his fingers and rubbing your clit faster and harder.

the pressure almost made you cum in the spot but Jason had other plans.

He pulled away causing you to whine pathetically. He laughed before removing his shirt.

he quickly stripped to just his boxers

“Oh I was right. His did have rock hard abs.” You thought as you openly stared at his chest.

He had a scar that went down his abdomen and across his shoulder and chest. He was ripped and had a hard v line leading to his hard cock trapped in his boxer briefs.

“Jeez you’re hot.” You say before realizing what you said.

Jason blushed and laughed. “ I should be saying the same thing to you.” He smiled before leaning back over you.

His large frame and arms cages around your head and you ran you hands down his chest, feeling the ripples underneath your fingertips. You made eye contact as your hands landed on his dick, and squeezed.

He whimpered again. The whimper you remembered from the rooftop. The same whimper you have thought of we you had your hand down your pants last night.

He pulled his cock out and you stared in shock. He was so much bigger than you excepted. But you drooled at the thought of it inside you.

He rubbed the head against your heat, gathering wetness before positioning the top at your entrance.

“Are you sure?” He asked looking into your eyes with the most sincerity.

“Yes, Jason. Please I want you to fuck me.” You said as you slide you hand down to where your bodies meet. You start to play with your clit.

Jason sucks in a breath. “Fuck.” He breath before pushing in.

It hurt at first but Jason paused half way through to let you adjust.

Once he was all the way in, he slowly pulled out before pushing back in, starting a slow rhythm.

You moan and wrapped you arms around his middle, gripping on to whatever skin you fingers could find.

He started picking up pace and moved his head to suck on your nipple again. His hand that was t holding him up, falling down to where your bodies are joined, rubbing circles on your clit.

Everything was too much for you. “I’m gonna cum!” You moan as you squirted on his cock.

He moan at the sensation before ducking into you faster. “You look so gorgeous when you cum. Ohmyfuckinggod…” he said as he quickly pulls out and shoots his cum on your stomach.

He collapses on top of you and kisses you hard.

“Im sorry for making you feel like shit these past few days.” He says breathlessly.

“It all ok now” you say as he looks up and smiles at you. He hugs you and pulls you into his chest.

“I’m gonna take you on a proper date though.”

“I don’t doubt it.” You say as you eyes get heavy———

Bonus:

“For fuck sake Jason, when I said make up, I didn’t me make out. I didn’t have to hear the bed shaking all the way from down the hall!” Barbara yelled as Jason walked out of your room later.

——————/-

requests are open!

taglist:

@igotanidea

@princessbl0ss0m

#jason todd x y/n #jason todd smut #jason todd x reader #jason todd #jason todd fic #batfamily #dc smut #dc x reader #Jason #Todd #Robin x reader #red hood #red hood smut #red hood x reader

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ruanbaijie · 19 days

Text

I’ve been thinking a lot about KoD/ The Spirealm lately (no surprises there), and I think, after having watched the show two times and read the novel a couple of times, I have an inkling of a theory of what really happened in The Spirealm. And I don’t mean just the ending. I mean what was really going on throughout the entire show. Because when I was doing my rewatch, I noticed that beyond the obvious lines, this show is rife with foreshadowing.

So here’s my theory, with evidence picked out here and there from the show. Beware: this will get very long, and a lot of it might be overthinking on my part (as an INTJ, overthinking is my middle name). There will be spoilers for BOTH the novel and the show, so if you don’t want to be spoiled for either or for both, perhaps you might want to scroll on or save this post for another day.

But, if you’re absolutely curious and totally okay with spoilers… We shall press on.

When I finished the show for the first time, I went “oh god yet another open-ended cdrama ending”, and only had two theories for what that ending meant.

1. Everything had really happened, everyone that had been involved had really gone into the doors. When RNZ managed to cleanse the game, ~somehow~ time got rewound and events got rewritten, and everyone (including those who had died) went back to how they had been before encountering the games, memories wiped clean and all, except for LQS.

2. LQS had dreamed everything up in those few seconds between getting hit by the car and regaining consciousness. The games did not happen in reality at all.

The first one didn’t sit well with me, just because it seemed too damn unlikely. Even if we were to consider advanced technology and all, it just seemed too… far-fetched (for lack of a better word) for such a technology to completely rewind time and rewrite things, including the minds of everyone except LQS.

So I thought well okay maybe it’s Theory 2 which seemed more likely, LQS dreamed up everything and none of it had actually happened, and he spent the next 50 years remaking and rebuilding the entire Spirit Realm. And this theory pained me. Because it meant that after it all, LQS was still alone, and was a RNZ made up with data that LQS had input, who had never “experienced” what they had experienced together, really RNZ at all? Besides, how did LQS manage to dream the names and personalities of so many different people so accurately?

Which leads me to Theory 3, which is actually pretty close to what had really happened in the novel, and also kind of an offshoot of Theory 1, but with a but.

Now, circling back to Theory 1, it’s a chilling thought that something like this could happen in reality. But what if, what if, what we thought was reality reality is not actually reality? Could there be a technology that’s so great it could rewind time and rewrite events and minds… à la The Matrix?

And so, Theory 3, which is the one I strongly believe (with >95% conviction) is what really happened:

THE WHOLE SHOW IS DOOR 12.

My supporting evidence, split into a few sections:

The Forum Scene

More Individual Instances

Common Motifs

What Happened Outside the 12th Door? + Unanswered Questions

A Simple Chronological Diagram

Tidbits

EXHIBIT A: THE FORUM SCENE

This was a very quick cameo of Wu Qi scrolling on the forum and then proceeding to still impersonate as a college-going girl (after the crying baby arc). There was absolutely no reason for this scene to be there, which highlights just how important this little cameo discussing the 12th door is and what it could entail.

A summary of what this says (bolded parts added by myself for emphasis), as far as I can since some parts are blocked:

A Quick Deduction: The Rules of the 12th Door

Everyone says that the higher the level of the door, the closer to reality it gets. That means that the 12th door is extremely close to reality. In the 12th door, your entire world is exactly the same as the real world, and there might even be doors within doors.

The people who enter the 12th door will lose all memories, including those of their relationships, and will exist in the 12th door with the identity of “if they had lived till then without entering the doors”. An NPC will replace the “personality” of the person who enter the doors, and other than their appearance, their personality and identity will be very similar, and the progress rate will be very high. (This sentence is quite blocked out so I don’t really get it.)

Then, the two will meet. Because after waking in the 12th door, one will find themselves in the “1st door”, then meeting place will naturally be in the world of the doors.

After that, the condition to clear the game would be to, under such circumstances, go through the eleven doors all over again.

I know, it’s a forum post, and it was titled “deduction”, but this is exactly what the novel was revealed to be about, and it also explains a lot of the foreshadowing that I started seeing throughout the show.

EXHIBIT B: VARIOUS INDIVIDUAL INSTANCES

Right at the start of the show, even before entering his supposed 1st door, LQS is shown to already have very sharp hearing. If these additional abilities are gifted by the doors to selected people, then why does LQS already have it not just outside the doors, but also even before setting foot into one? Unless, he is not outside the doors, and he has already set foot into not just one, but in fact, several.

RNZ says this line when he is directing LQS to run from the wolf. This is not just a foreshadowing for RNZ’s identity as an NPC, but also hints that the people that RNZ has been “directing” till that point (think all those people in the villa, including the twins, Chen Fei, etc.) were also not “live people”, but NPCs.

After the 1st door, LQS returns to the real world, while still wearing the jacket he had put on in the door. It is later mentioned that only selected props from the doors can be brought out and back in for special uses to be figured out by the players themselves. So how can LQS return to the real world with the jacket, which is never mentioned to be one such prop?

Ah yes, the lovely RNZ fake death scene. It’s a huge piece of foreshadowing for RNZ’s identity, but it might be foreshadowing something more. I’ve wondered, since RNZ is an NPC, if he “died” in one of the doors, would he respawn somewhere else? This quote might be referring to that. But it also sounds very much like he’s hinting to LQS that what he thought was reality was also not reality at all.

In the penultimate episode, LQS, out and about after his accident, running first to the villa to see if RNZ and co. are still there, and then proceeding to question himself if his reality is really reality at all. I think it's at this point he starts to suspect that he's really still in the world of the doors.

The final pre-time leap scene: notice how LQS says find (寻找) the point where reality and virtual world meet, and not create (创造)? Which means that here, LQS has already realised that this reality is not reality at all, but he’s still in the world of the doors. Now, he has to find the point where reality and virtual world meet, i.e. the physical 12th door.

Post-time leap: “including the 12th door”. After spending 50 more years in the 12th door, LQS has finally found the physical 12th door, at the point where reality and virtual world meet.

And when he touches RNZ’s hand, he gets restored to his younger self, because he has solved and unlocked the 12th door and the 50 years that had passed have not really passed at all.

EXHIBIT C: COMMON MOTIFS

1. Kaleidoscopes

Of course, kaleidoscopes. The original intention was definitely as nod to the name of the novel, but they’ve been written into the plot in a different way. Also a clue to RNZ’s identity as an NPC, since the only other ones that have been shown to have kaleidoscopes are the NPCs/ door gods. But, the kaleidoscopes only appeared in the doors, but RNZ has been shown to have them outside the doors. Unless… you know the drill by now.

2. Corridors

In the first episode alone, not one, not two, but four hallways of doors are shown. The first is a straight corridor that starts off the entire show (with credits and all), the second is another straight corridor and is shown to be rotating clockwise, and the third and fourth are the one we’re most familiar with: the one with the doors facing one another like a cross-section of a kaleidoscope. Here’s my theory for each: the first one is the “real” one, the one that LQS walks to get to the 12th door. It starts off the entire show and hints that the entire show is the 12th door. The second one that rotates (see next point on this motif) is the one in the bootleg game that LQS plays in the PC bang. The fourth one is when LQS enters the door world within the 12th door.

Also, this could very well just be an artistic choice, but note how in the poster of the show, the doors are also shown not in the cross-sectional kaleidoscope format, but in a straight corridor.

3. Circularity

I don’t know how to summarise this motif because it’s a combination of a few, but this show has a lot of circles, things in rotation, clock imageries, and the idea of things being in reverse.

The clue that Gao Dawei gives LQS through the kid NPC, “Flower in the water, moon in the mirror” (水中花，镜中月) is actually a reversal of an actual Chinese idiom “Flower in the mirror, moon in the water” (镜中花，水中月), which means a mirage, something that is an illusion. While this is a huge analogy for the whole real world vs. door world theme, it’s also another instance of reversal or something flipped in the show.

Some other examples are the flipped clock in the 11th door, RNZ’s quote in the 11th door about ending at the beginning, and even in the lyrics of that painful song that plays whenever someone dies: “Please don’t rewind time again, for I’m afraid I will do anything regardless of the cost” (请别再倒数时间，我怕我会不顾一切). Now… this idea of circularity, of rewinding time, of going back to the beginning to end… sounds a lot like everything restarting again after LQS emerges from the “11th door” and finding himself in a car accident. Or maybe, just maybe, it also sounds a lot like going back to the first 11 doors to finish the 12th door, doesn’t it?

4. Repeated Phrases

Now these might REALLY just be me overthinking. But Wu Qi mentioned a couple of things in his monologue (side note: this show has some SERIOUSLY GOOD angsty monologues) that made me go… hang on a second. These mentions of “light”, “the meaning of friendship”, and “path” - they were all also brought up in previous conversations between LQS and RNZ. “Light” - so many times (another side note: I find it hilarious that Xia Zhiguang also has the same “light” character in his name, so whenever RNZ says that LQS “has light on him” I get sad at the foreshadowing but I also snicker a bit for Reasons). “The meaning of friendship” - when RNZ and LQS argue over accompanying TZZ into her 6th door.

“Path” - when RNZ and LQS walk under the umbrella in the rain doll arc and RNZ mentions (also foreshadowing) that “legs are longer than paths, and paths will always have an end”. Again, these might jolly well just be coincidences, but my overthinking brain says I think not. Because, if LQS is really still in the door world, then Wu Qi and everyone else around him are really NPCs, and then it makes sense for the system to throw these words that had popped up before, in situations where Wu Qi was never present, right back at him.

5. Premonitions

There are so many of these.

In episode 1, LQS already briefly “hears” the blades of the air vent of the room he had been trapped in with Gao Dawei, even though he’s still in the PC bang and the memory of that kidnapping is not at the forefront of his mind… unless it had already been triggered at some time shortly before that (i.e. in the “real” door whatever number it was when he had met the NPC that revealed the nature of the doors to him).

Just before LQS is hit by the car, he sees a door on the road, that is the same door as one of the two in the 11th door - the one that represents “illusory life”. How did LQS manage to conjure up the image of a door that only appears in his future? Unless, he has already seen the door before in the real 11th door.

BUT that being said, in the same flashes, he does also see the kaleidoscope cross-section style (seriously, I need a better name for this) of doors - the third hallway he sees in the first episode. This one, admittedly, I’m still trying to figure out, since technically, based on the theory I’m working out, at that point, he should not have yet actually stepped into the hallway.

LQS also encounters Li Dongyuan and Xiong Qi in the “real world” before he enters his “1st door”.

And also explains why he could dream the names and personalities of so many different people so accurately before actually meeting them “in real life” (that asshole in the hospital arc - I forgot his name -, Xiao Ke, Chen Fei, the twins, TZZ, Lu Yanxue), including the “real” owner of the villa.

This might also be me overthinking and just be the cast trolling, but the “actual” Spirit Realm game in the “real world” also seems to draw upon elements of what LQS had experienced in his 11 doors in the show, albeit in a more chibi form: from the door and Nanqiu and Toast and Chestnut on the front page, to the kaleidoscope and entering the door on the loading page, and the woman in the rain, Xiao Jiu, rain doll, nurse, and Zuozi characters on the game grid. If this was really the real world, was it really a coincidence that LQS had “dreamed” or “experienced” doors that had these very same elements? Or do we have cause and effect the other way round here, where the “reality” is actually drawing on what LQS had “dreamed” or “experienced” in the doors? I say, it’s no coincidence at all.

EXHIBIT D: WHAT HAPPENED OUTSIDE THE 12TH DOOR? + UNANSWERED QUESTIONS

Now, if the entire show is about the 12th door, then what happened in the real world? In doors 1-11? Well, it could be anything at this point.

Perhaps it’s something closer to the novel, where there’s nothing game-related about it at all, and people get pulled into the doors because they're about to die a sudden death, and the world of the doors is a "gift" for them to fight for that chance to continue living. The whole business is really just a supernatural thing, and the 12th door just happened to take on the setting of a virtual reality game.

Or, perhaps it’s really more like the show, where doors 1-11 happened exactly as they did (or close to) in the show, where LQS had to save the world from the nasty game that had been sullied by the capitalists in Piao Liang Guo (an analogy for the USA, if you haven’t yet realised), but he had to sacrifice his closest friend (read: bosom buddy) for the sake of the greater good.

Again, it could be anything. But I’d like to believe that it’s the latter. Because it goes exactly with the idea of circularity (see Common Motifs), of starting from the beginning again.

But, post that, after everything is said and done, does RNZ end up going to the real world? I really hope so, because I need my happy ending damn it. It was possible in the novel which was more supernatural-coded, so the idea of a door god stepping out of this supernatural door world and into the real one to live with his husband seems a bit more… probable. (I know we’re talking about fiction here but please hear me out it’s like the walrus vs. fairy thing.) But if RNZ is really just made up of data, how the heck does data step out from the virtual world and into the real one? Maybe LQS really does end up making a “body” for him in the real world and takes a few years (or decades) to code him from scratch? But that just kinda goes back to my 意难平 with Theory 2 - is this RNZ really RNZ? Not to mention, the pain of LQS being alone for decades and trying to make RNZ from scratch.

Another unanswered question: what the heck is with LQS’s evolving hairstyle and fashion throughout the show? Is it an analogy for LQS’s changing personality, that even TZZ’s director “friend” mentions in episode 62? Or does it symbolise something else? I really don’t know, at this point.

EXHIBIT E: A SIMPLE CHRONOLOGICAL DIAGRAM

If you’ve managed to read till here, MASSIVE kudos to you. And here’s a simple diagram that I drew on PPT just to illustrate this entire theory, because I was also confusing the heck out of myself and I needed to see it visually to make sense of it.

EXHIBIT F: TIDBITS

These don’t really support Theory 3, but I’m including them anyway because I find them… interesting.

There’s a Yuyu Hakusho book in LQS and Wu Qi’s apartment. Now I’m in no way familiar with that series (I only watched that one live action adaptation of it), but in that series, there also exists a Spirit World (霊界, Reikai), which (ahem Wiki copy and paste) is the world where sentient beings (humans and demons) go after they die; not the equivalent of heaven or hell, but a station in between worlds where a soul's fate is decided. Which sounds… a lot like the premise of the doors in the actual novel.

I also find it extremely punny that the drama changed LQS’s name to Ling Jiushi (凌久时). For one, the characters for Jiushi are the exact ones that mean “long time” - which reminds me of the final exchange that RNZ and LQS have in the show. Also, the fact that his surname is now Ling instead of Lin? Absolutely hilarious… once you realise that the Chinese slang for bottoms in a MLM pair is 0 (零)… pronounced exactly the same way as show!LQS’s surname. And, if you haven’t yet figured out the running thread through this entire damn long ass post by now: coincidence? I think not.

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gaonsguitarpicks · 6 months

Note

hi! how was your day so far?

I'm absolutely loving ur writing style. the fics are so cute that I really wanted to request how would the xh members be when they are jealous <3

Thank you so much for the request and compliments >.< I hope you're still around 4 months later and you'll enjoy this!

XDINARY HEROES WHEN THEY ARE JEALOUS

♬ all members ♬ gn!reader ♬ just fluff

GUNIL:

He's not subtle at all when he's jealous.

He doesn't mind if you're hanging out with other people but he prefers if he can be there too, not to supervise you, he just wants to be with you.

He's also the type to always have an arm around you or hold your hand in public.

So when he sees you with someone else and he senses danger, he will insert himself in the scenario, and makes sure to annoy either the other person or you into leaving.

Reassuring him with words seems to work best when he's jealous, he’s very weak against compliments.

JUNGSU:

He lives and dies for your attention.

So he really dislikes it when your attention is not on him, especially if it's on someone he considers competition.

He will become very pouty and sulky.

You need to make an effort to not only reassure him with words but to give him cuddles and kisses.

He won't let go of you until he's satisfied - at least for a whole day.

GAON:

He doesn't get jealous often, his jealousy doesn't come from clinginess or insecurity.

He mostly gets jealous when you're with someone he thinks has ulterior motives and tries to steal you from him.

The problem is that he won't communicate it well with you because he'll get very upset if you don't believe him and this can easily turn into an emotional argument if you don’t respond well.

He pretends he doesn't care but will watch over you all the time until you realize that he was right or he calms down and apologizes if he was wrong.

He becomes very possessive for a while after this, regardless who was right because you’re so important to him.

O.DE:

He'd get jealous pretty often for someone who hates feeling jealousy.

He loves and craves your attention but knows not to demand too much of it.

He tries to tell himself that you spending time with someone else doesn't mean anything and you still love him the most but his heart just wants you to be with him.

You can easily tell that something is up with him because he starts acting a bit more clingy and needy than usual.

The easiest way to resolve this situation is to indulge him and reassure him. Hearing it from you is a lot more effective than telling it to himself, after all.

JUNHAN:

He's kind of possessive by nature and somewhat insecure.

So when you're with someone else, he'll be slightly offended but immediately tell himself not to overthink.

Then he'll proceed to overthink if this kind of situation keeps going on for a while.

You can tell that something is wrong because he'll get distant - not necessarily because he wants to but he's too caught up in his head and doesn't want it to affect you.

You need to get through to him by all means and show him how much you love him.

JOOYEON:

He's fun because he's clingy, possessive and insecure at the same time! :D

That means he wants your constant attention on him and if you're spending that attention on someone else without a valid reason (based on his judgment), he will throw a tantrum.

You cannot reason with him when he's jealous, he will become as dramatic as possible like the whole world is against him and you hate him???

Let him sulk a bit until he calms down and feels bad for being unreasonable.

Then shower him with all the love that you have for him and is always his.

#xdinary heroes reactions #xdinary heroes imagines #xdinary heroes scenarios #xdinary heroes fluff #xdinary heroes x reader #i feel like i could have done a better job on this #i typed it on my phone while waiting for my doctor's appointment and lowkey dying #but also if i need to write more and go more into detail...#then i need to write six separate oneshots #and we need to decide if we take the fluff or the not fluff road :')

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joanyio · 1 year

Text

weak hero class 1 rant because it’s 4am and im in my feelings and idk how else to deal with them *cracks knuckles* please don’t expect me to be coherent

it’s because of a twitter thread i made and i just wanted to elaborate more

if you didn’t click the link here’s what i said “this montage gets me every time because you realize sooho’s bright personality hid the fact that he was just as alone as sieun was, always sleeping at school for working part-time a lot, probably the reason why he had no friends, also refers to himself as the hyung with his peers. then the montage sequence ends with sieun being considerate, not turning the lights on like he did before and studying in the dark to not disturb sleeping sooho. the same day sieun wakes him up to have lunch together and they unexpectedly click.. in a way it was a friendship built from understanding how differently they lived but also similarly alone, and having each other made their lives a little brighter and i think that’s beautiful.”

also this hyunwook interview..

—

i can’t seem to stop overthinking about the little detail that sooho refers to himself as the hyung (형 - older brother) with his same-aged peers (동갑). in korea, age is a huge deal and it dictates most of their social cues, who to respect and how much respect is given. and i can just imagine how arrogant his peers might find him for referring to himself as the hyung, it’s like he acts all high and mighty amongst them.

am not puting all clips of him doing this but i remember the incident with baseball kids in the first ep he told them to bring the passed out dude to the nurse’s office and said “형이 이름 말하면 뒤진다,” literally means “if you say hyung’s (my) name, you’re dead.” (and they aren’t even his same-aged friends because someone murmured “but we’re older than him..” still, they’re high schoolers all the same) in ep 2 “형이라고 부르고싶냐?” literally means “do you wanna call me hyung now?” (or “do you wanna give me respect now?”) in ep 3 while playing pool he said “형이 하는거 잘 봐라,” literally means “watch carefully how hyung does (i do) it.”

[edit: i remembered another instance. in ep 1, yeongbin’s group bothering sieun again in the classroom. sooho was disturbed from his sleep, “why are guys so chatty these days? 형 잠도 못 자게. 형 자도 돼? 응?” literally goes “hyung (i) can’t even sleep (with u mfs being loud). can hyung (i) sleep? hmm?” official subs: “someone’s trying to sleep here. can i sleep in peace? please?”]

i think he does it because he knows he was forced to grow up fast due to his living situation, and in his eyes this made his same-aged peers /more/ childlike(?) and immature compared to him, who’s already grown up and has adult big boy responsibilities to worry about than silly little exams and high school social hierarchy. he’s extroverted and has a sunshine personality, blunt and honest to anyone he talks to. he always knows what to say to kids his age to feel shame for the bullshit they pull. even with older people, the baseball kids, to gilsu “나이 먹고 그게 자랑이야?”

so yeah sleeping a lot at school due to working part-time for hours may have contributed to him not having friends (hello he follows like 5 people in instagram, such a skinny ratio with his 1k+ followers) but also he probably found it hard to relate and saw no reason to put effort in hanging out with them outside inevitable campus interactions. until sieun. sieun who sooho calls a weirdo, who’s really interesting, whose eyes say how empty he must feel inside but you can see the fire in them. sooho probably thought sieun would never initiate a conversation with him but he did approach him for lunch that one time. and finds himself enjoying the company. now he grew to love showing sieun that there’s more to life than studying hard and preparing for college. it’s all mundane things, eating, gaming, karaokeing, playing pool, “let’s drive all night long,” friendship and the kind of company that their families and other people couldn’t give.

sooho’s all sun and bright but he hasn’t found his person until sieun came along. both of them were very self-sacrificial, ready to risk it all and harm anyone to protect each other. i might just forever ache for sooho ending up on his deathbed after going apeshit seeing sieun hide the injury he got on sooho’s behalf.. and sieun throwing away his whole future when he went and hurt everyone who did that to sooho..

it hits different after i read the equivalent chapters in the webtoon because the suho-sieun-focused friendship story was prolonged for the drama adaptation. sooho was kinda not that interesting in the webtoon so i loved everything they changed and added for his character in the drama. but also like im upset because now im endlessly attached to him.. [edit: in case i piss off webtoon!suho lovers, it’s a personal preference. i love him too but i just cant help but be more emotionally attached to drama!suho] like fuck why did they have to write such a tragic friendship story between highschoolers im fucking done

end of rant ugh i hate myself for this

#weak hero class 1 #kdrama #yeon sieun #ahn sooho #ahn suho #mine #sorry for any mistakes english is my second language and korean is my fourth language im still learning it

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gremlinaristocrat · 5 months

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Overthinking Sylvie’s Strategy

So, I know the Gio&Molly vs Sylvie fight in Ep2 was mostly about getting the protagonists to show off their personalities and powers . . . but I think if you read (way too far) into the strategy Sylvester uses it tells you a surprising amount about him.

Start at the start. Sylvie overhears our heroes talking about how they’re villains. Instead of sneak attacking them while he has the drop on them, he starts a dialog, to confirm they’re actually bad guys (and maybe to satisfy his own desire for drama and/or indulge in his sense of invulnerability). Gio responds by confirming he’s a criminal, calling Sylvie a kid and initiating combat.

It’s kind of overshadowed by what he does later in the fight, but the doc is pretty reasonable early on; I get the feeling he’d have been even more willing to talk things out if dealing with Indus’ stupidity and Mera’s manipulation hadn’t shortened his already-short fuse and made him Done with Trying To Talk To People.

Sylvie’s first move is to use sleep pollen like he did with Indus earlier; unlike all his other attacks, he doesn’t call its name when he uses it, probably to minimize the chances that his targets will figure out what it does in time to stop it. This is a 10/10 opener, with the potential to harmlessly incapacitate enemies and end fights before they start.

When that fails thanks to Molly’s quick thinking and Gio’s creativity, he follows it up with Counting Sheep. This is another solid decision, and unlike the last one, it actually works out for him: his minions swiftly swarm and overwhelm his opponents.

Pictured: Flawless Victory.

Note that – as far as I can tell – Sylvie has basically won at this point. Molly and Giovanni have no way to stop the sheep before they nibble and poof them into unconsciousness; all he has to do is stay the course.

And then our boy screws up. He banishes his own army – or maybe incinerates them, the animation isn’t clear on that point – in order to confront a twelve-year-old girl with her worst nightmare, while having no idea what that nightmare is or how he’d be able to use it.

He also picks this point to sacrifice his vantage point, achieving no obvious gain. I don’t think Jello did this on purpose, but it fits very well that Sylvie literally gives up the high ground for no reason – while forcing his opponents onto a different patch of high ground – at the same time he’s metaphorically doing that.

Let me psychoanalyze the psychoanalyst: what the hell is the good doctor thinking when he unleashes (almost literal!) hell on the adorable cosmic brownie? What’s going through his head when he passes up sure victory for the chance to re-traumatize a child?

Well, it’s possible that Counting Sheep drains stamina faster than it appears to (though he doesn’t seem winded after using it). It’s also possible that he’s worried about one of them using ranged attacks on him, and feels the need to end the fight ASAP. The magic system in EE is intentionally kind of loose and vibes-y, so there’s an endless list of possible excuses.

That said, I think the most likely answer to “what was he thinking?” is “absolutely nothing”. This whole thing looks like a (legitimately!) clever synergy-exploiting strategy he thought up a while back, rarely or never got to see in action, and is just unreflectively executing on even though a more humane approach would have straight-up let him win.

I didn’t notice this until the Youtube comments pointed it out, but I think it’s neat Gio never calls Sylvie a kid again after he finds out the doc has issues with it (except that one time he does it to signal that he’s putting on a show for the cops). He’ll mock you mercilessly, and maybe steal your stuff, but our glorious pink-haired overlord will not use That Word You Dislike to describe you once he knows you dislike it.

Anyway, back to the fight. Sylvie tries to negotiate with his prisoners in the Flame Vortex, since apparently his Psychology PhD never taught him that confronting people with their literal worst nightmares might make them unreasonable and/or push them to extremes. Gio escapes with Molly; Sylvie doubles down on the Nightmare Fuel; Gio responds by thwacking a ball of yarn at him.

This is another point at which – again, as far as I can tell – Sylvie has basically won. The fact that Giovanni resorted to such weird and desperate measures suggests Gio & Molly don’t have any better ways to attack or escape from their current position. All the alleged genius needs to do is take cover behind an exhibit and let his summons finish the criminals. Instead, he cancels his own winning move (again!) so he can summon Dr Beefton, escalating (again!!) in a way that doesn’t actually help him (again!!!).

Like, seriously, what was the plan here? There are a lot of words you could use to accurately describe Sylvie’s colleague/alter-ego/fursona, but ‘agile’ and ‘nimble’ aren’t among them; if Gio and Molly had decided to hold onto their high ground on general principles after Sylvie (apparently) fainted, or if they’d sprinted off in different directions instead of trying to stand their ground, what would he have done then?

From here on out, the beef revolves around Beefton. This tells us very little about Sylvie, except maybe in terms of how much frustration he’s repressing, and what being powerful means to him.

Pictured: What Peak Performance Looks Like

So, what does all this say about Sylvie? He’s clever, willing to hear people out, and merciful when he can get away with it; however, he makes dumb or pointlessly cruel decisions under pressure, and follows a prescribed plan instead of adapting to the enemy; will escalate when surprised or provoked, even when it’s counterproductive, choosing moves which feel strong instead of ones which make sense. In summary, he’s the world’s smartest dumbass, and (at least in this part of the story) acts more like a stereotypical cop than the actual cop character.

He’s getting better quickly, though. I think a lot of this is symptomatic of him being new-ish to fights, and especially new to fights where people get hurt and/or which last more than one move . . .

Yeah, it shows, and not in a good way.

. . . since he gets more flexible and responsive when fighting Mera . . .

Pictured: Character Growth

. . . though, uh, apparently not enough for him to realize that he could demoralize her and/or broker a truce by offering to remove her Epithet with the amulet if he wins.

Out-reasoned by the tweenager; that’s embarrassing.

#epithet erased #sylvester ashling #overthinking

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soleilandpeaches · 1 year

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would a kiss be too much to ask?

KeigoxFem!Reader

synopsis: Keigo’s been planning on finally telling you how he feels, stupidly, he spontaneously decides to show you instead.

warnings: uses of drugs/alcohol, masturbation, drunken confessions, angst, cliffhanger, shorter chapter

song title inspo: Too Much to Ask by Arctic Monkeys

(pt. I) (pt. III)

“He seemed way too infatuated, plus, he wasn’t really my type.” You drone on, keeping your eyes trained onto the mug in your hands, the one he had made with you about a year ago. He watches as your fingers idally trace the colorful patterns edged into the clay. He can tell you’re disappointed and yet he feels guilty, happy it didn’t work out.

He can’t seem to ignore the rising ugliness of jealousy bubbling up inside him. All he can do is clench his jaw and hope you don’t notice. But you can’t, because you keep your eyes downcasted and away from him. He wants to shake you by your shoulders and shout in your face that: “He’s right here! He’s always been here.”

He listens to you complain about failed talking stages, dates that never seem to make it past the 2nd week mark, the people you seek out only to eventually be let down. He keeps thinking about how he could treat you so much better, better than those idiots who don’t know how to please you like he can. He takes you out, he pays for things you like even when you insist he shouldn’t, he showers you with compliments, hugs, affection, whatever you ask for! He does things for you without asking, stopping at little stores to buy you little gifts, tokens to signify your friendship. Yet still, why do you feel so out of reach, centimeters away from the tips of his fingers yet too far to grasp; you slip away just before he reaches you.

Is it because of his job? He’s aware dating a hero doesn’t compare to dating someone who isn’t, the risks of it all threatens even him to reconsider pursuing you. He also isn’t oblivious to how the media often likes to portray him. He doesn’t consider himself to be the uncommitted playboy the tabloids paint him as. Still, he understands why you might be hesitant to consider him as a partner. Even though you know he isn’t like that—there has to be another reason.

He ponders for a moment, questioning if you even see him that way at all. Although as soon as the thought comes it leaves just as quickly. No, he decides, that can’t be it either. He’s not stupid: he knows your relationship hasn’t exactly always been completely platonic. He wouldn’t do the things he does with you with anyone else, even if he had another best friend. He sees the way you sometimes look at him, your eyes tell him the truth.

He’s a good-looking guy, he knows. He takes pride in his appearance, taking time out of his day to stay clean and pretty. He knows the effect he often has on others: he’s a heartthrob. So how come it’s taking him this long to tie you down and make you his? He’s probably overthinking it, he’s considered that possibility for a long time. Yet, the mere thought of tossing everything he’s built with you down the drain isn’t far off from the idea of plucking each feather from his back, one-by-one.

The image of your face twisting into distress or pity, quietly telling him you don’t see him that way, that he’s just a friend and never anything more. Even worse if you just see him as some kind of brotherly figure, solidifying the concept of your relationship to never progress into anything more.

He knows that’s just how life is, people and relationships come and go but you, you’re different. You and your pretty face will forever haunt his dreams or appear every time he closes his eyes. He will always yearn for your touch, your voice, and your smell. And even though his throat tightens at the idea of losing you, his restraint is hanging on by a thread.

Because now, he’s home alone, fisting his cock as he mutters your name into the hem of his shirt gritted between his teeth. His pants hung low on his hips, unruly and unshaved pubes tickling his knuckles every time his fingers stroke his base.

He lets his thoughts roam from the memory of you, to imagining himself fucking you the way he’s been desperately craving. He’d hold you by your hips, pulling you backwards to meet his unforgiving thrusts as you beg for more. He’d whisper filthy nothings into your ear, forcing you to look at him as he fucks you harder.

He’d ask you to beg for him before he’s filling your pretty little pussy with his seed. The image of your cunt dripping with white has him coming with a shout, he lets his shirt fall as he tosses his head back, Adam’s apple bobbing as thick cum spills down his hand and spurts onto his stomach.

Slowly pumping his cock as he rides out his high, he’s murmuring your name over and over. He lets the shame wash over him, completely used to it by now but he’s done promising himself it would be the last time. His fingers itch to call you, drunk on the thought of your voice lulling him to sleep. Yet he refrains—he needs time to cool off anyway.

You’re both drunk, him more than you it seems. You decided tonight you’d rather get high instead, but the taste of alcohol was too sweet to pass up. He wanted to tell you mixing was a mistake—“Oh, let me live a little.” The memory of your grumbled bickering caused him to smile. Your droopy eyes and your puffed cheeks, pouty lips and twitching nose, he could never seem to say no to you.

You were leaning against your kitchen counter, laughing at your phone and eating away at a bag of chips. In his defense, he wasn’t exactly sure what came over him at that moment. There was only one thought echoing in his mind: He needed you to know.

Willing himself to stand, he makes his way over to you, not even hesitating to grasp the phone out from your fingers and onto the counter behind you.

“Hey!” You protest, seemingly irritated with his rude gesture. “What gives?”

Leaning into you, his arms snaking their way around your waist as his lips twitch against the shell of your ear: “You’re not paying attention to me.” He murmurs with a flirtatious grin before nosing your cheek with a happy sigh.

“Well you could’ve just said so…” You grumble, your hands reaching to scratch at his scalp, waiting for his hum of approval.

“You’re so pretty…” He’s backing away now to stare into you, face drawn serious yet pleading. His eyes are darting back-and-forth between your own, searching for any signs of discomfort.

You’re smiling, but your eyebrows are pinched together in confusion. You let out a chuckle: “You’re so drunk.” You opt to say, causing him to frown.

“But you’re still beautiful.” He’s holding you in a way a lover would, hands gently resting on your waist, thumbs massaging back-and-forth into your supple skin.

“Thank you Keigo,” you whispered after a moment. “you’re beautiful too.”

“Yeah?” His teeth glimmer against the faint blue light of the T.V. as his lips stretch into a smile. He’s adoring you affectionately, eyes only speaking in tongues of love as his nose crinkles and his dimples portrued. He knows he’s beautiful, but hearing you say it so matter-of-factly has him higher than any drug.

“Can I kiss you?” The question leaves his lips before he catches it, mouth already parted to carry out the action as his eyes flicker to yours.

“What?” You ask in a quiet, hushed voice, as if you didn’t really believe you had heard him correctly. He doesn’t repeat it though; he knows you heard him.

“Please?” He begs instead, he’d promise you just one but it would be a lie. He’s leaning into you now, face centimeters from yours, eyes meeting yours again for any sign of approval. You wait, the noise echoing from the T.V. combined with your shared breaths being the only sound to escape.

“I–“ You begin but fail to finish as he watches your attention divert to his mouth. He knows now that you’re considering it, but he needs to hear you say it.

“Yes?” He wasn’t sure if he was asking you to continue or your permission. Yet the hilt to his voice creates goosebumps to litter your skin as you shiver against him. Just as he thinks you’re going to allow him, your hand comes to push him away by his chest, turning your cheek and you stare at something other than him.

“You’re drunk.” You assert with less warmth, ears red and lip caught between your teeth.

“So?” Almost angry, he’s pinching you by your chin to face him again, he fights back the urge to force your lips against his.

“Stop. Let’s just go to sleep.” You coax his hand away from your face as you push past him, leaving him stunned and at a loss for words. Still, he follows you blindly and into your room like a lovesick puppy.

He calls your name as you leave him standing alone amongst your things to go wash up. You stay silent. Whatever.

He’s peeling away his shirt before slumping against your duvet, letting out a much needed drone of remorse. He’s beginning to regret his actions but at the same time, relieved he got to see you so flustered because of him. He knows now you at least wanted to kiss him.

You reenter the room demanding him to wash up because: “your breath reeks.” He wonders if that’s why you rejected him. He pulls himself up to do as he’s told, stalling as he watches you climb into bed.

Once he’s finished and has you wrapped around him, he’s shoving his face into your breasts and forcing your hand to pet at his hair.

“Will you kiss me when I’m sober?” He wonders aloud, half to himself. You sigh, your hand pausing in its menstruations. “You won’t even remember…”

“Yes I will.” He wants to continue arguing, but his eyes are falling in weight as his breath heaves for a long yawn.

“Just go to sleep.” You refuse him your usual nicknames, your voice holding a slight quiver as you wait for him to sleep. After a moment he feels you pull away from him and roll over with your back turned to him. He attempts to spoon your body but you simply stand up and exit the bedroom, sniffles following you.

He attempts to call after you but sleep seems to overtake him instead. And just as quick as it comes, it’s over, a bright blue sky greeting him instead of your face. Hungover and groggy, he sits up wondering where you were and what time it was. Pulling the sheets off of him, he rubs his palms into his eyes.

Creeping out of your room and into your living space, time slows as fear pools into his stomach at the sight of your body splain across the couch, memories of the previous night flood his brain. He went too far, he realizes as he stares at your dried tears and chewed lips. He’s going to lose you.

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razorblade180 · 6 months

Text

“Courting”

Charlotte:Miss Furina!!! I have a very important question to ask, off the record of course.

Furina:A question? I don’t see why not.

Charlotte:Are you being courted by world renowned traveler, Aether!?

Furina:*red* C-Courted!? I wouldn’t exactly say-

The journalist whips out a polaroid photo of Furina with a warm smile on her face as she sits across from Aether during a late candle lit dinner.

Furina:Oh my god this came out so well. You can even see the- how did you have this!? Where were you!?

Charlotte:I was posed as a waitress!

Furina:….

Charlotte:…For a job! Not for you. Heavens no. By the way, I wouldn’t eat there again. Back to the topic at hand, good for you.! It’s a cute look. Your smile is brighter.

Furina:You just have good lighting.

Charlotte:Ha! Oh Furina…candle light is agonizing for photography.

Furina:Sounds like a hit a sore spot. Anyways, if you’re asking I assume you’re more or less aware of everything I am when it comes to Aether and romance.

Charlotte:Of course! I actually brought it up to him around our first time meeting. Had proof and everything so I can ask him “why an open relationship”

Furina:…You’re kinda scary at times.

Charlotte:If you’re not intense in my field then people try to circle around the truth. Like you were about to do until I showed the photo. You can keep that by the way. *fiddles with camera*

Furina:If you don’t mind, I’d like to ask you a question as well.

Charlotte:Ooo okay! I’m all ears!

Furina:You’ve known him longer, engaged with him more often, and seem interested from where I stand; yet I’m the one dat- is involved with him.

Charlotte:Do you have commitment issues?

Furina:Let me finish! What I’m getting at is why aren’t you two item. I’ve the comedically sized document about the dynamic. As it stands now…if I was close minded or acted selfishly…

Charlotte:Ah, I see. It’s interesting to see your mind at work, but unfortunately you’re overthinking things waaaay too much. This isn’t chess game or battle of wits. It would pretty low to treat others feelings like that without thought. Neither him or I would be able to stand ourselves to put a person filled with in a position where they either find new love or be forced to deal with the fact there’s someone else. Kinda defeats the point of an open relationship.

Furina:That’s…I see your point.

Charlotte:If you want Aether romantically all to yourself when it comes to Fontainian’s then by all means exercise that right. He’s still going to be one of my closest friends and partner in journalism! Though to be clear, this isn’t me conceding in any way. I do hope you enjoy my company as much as I love yours! Also… *pulls out photo*

It’s nothing particularly special. Just a really good picture of Aether in the middle of fishing without a care in the world.

Charlotte: Let’s be honest, he has a very nice face. Just ask Lyney! He thinks so too.

Furina:*red* I mean I guess it has its appeal.

Charlotte:You can keep that one too. Anyways, I gotta go before no more Aquabuses run. My latest story has gotten popular so you know…I’ll be back in the city in like three weeks? Hopefully? Eh, we’ll see.

Furina:What did you expose!?

Charlotte:It’ll be front page tomorrow! Read all about it! Bye! *runs off*

Furina thought she was pretty good at reading people, especially her audience. Right now she had no clue if the conversation just now was casual chatter, a weird bargain, or even pleasant congratulations with a side of flirting? She only knew what she’s known from the beginning. Charlotte is a really interesting, kind person who takes phenomenal photos.

Furina:…(I wonder if he knows that this photo was taken?)

xxxxx

Aether:I was fishing alone.

Furina:For the love of- how strong is that lens!? By the way…would you consider us…courting or something? *red*

Aether:

Aether: You literally made out with me a few days ago. Grabbed my scarf, and smooched my face. We spend time together consistently.

Furina:*nods slowly* You bring up a valid point.

Aether:A valid point!? *shows hickey*

Furina:Okay, several points! Wrap your scarf back up before someone sees!

Aether:Breaking news, crystal pure celebrity actually filters her murky mind.

Furina:I want my kisses back!

#genshin impact #gi aether #gi charlotte #gi furina

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fordchen · 2 months

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You deserve someone worth the effort

Prompt: Tim and Ashley broke up after his spinal surgery yet Chris and Lucy are still dating. 5x08 where Chris is looking for houses and Tim decides it’s time to have a conversation with his colleague… Please feel free to leave some feedback! you can also send me ideas :)

—

Today seemed like another day at the station. Tim arrived early as usual and got into his uniform, preparing himself for yet another busy day in Los Angeles. He met with Sergeant Grey for their daily briefing before heading to the roll call room to brief the other patrol officers. Everything is normal until now.

Well… that’s what he thought until he walked to the shop and met a rather distant Lucy. She seemed far away, lost in her thoughts which made him a bit suspicious. It caused him to now overthink too about the reason for Lucy's spiral. He walked closer to her and cleared his throat to signal his presence, seeing her snap out of her thoughts immediately.

“Ready to roll?” He asked after seeing that she had set the shop for them, watching her give him a small nod.

They both got into the car and began their patrol, doing some small talk before Lucy’s phone rang. Chris was FaceTiming her to show her a house for sale. He could not help but feel confusion as he heard the two talk. They both seemed on two very different pages. On one hand, Chris seemed excited about visiting potential houses to buy, and on the other, Lucy seemed much more reserved about the whole thing. Once they hung up, Tim glanced quickly over at Lucy, unable to shake away his confusion. “Are you and Chris moving together?” He asked after a few seconds of silence, feeling his heart tighten in his chest.

“No, uh… It’s not…” Lucy mumbled, unable to get her words together. “Yet, he seems to think you are.” Tim said, almost cutting her off. He quickly looked over at her again, noticing how tense Lucy looked. That sight caused his heart to break a little. He hated to see Lucy upset. “Yeah, I mean, he kinda sprang it on me this morning…” Lucy added, playing with her fingers as an attempt to control the anxiety she felt in the moment. Tim nodded and after some silence, he let out a sigh. “You two are happy right? Those are the obvious next steps for you.” He asked but before Lucy could answer, they received a call about a few bombs placed around people’s necks and immediately went to deal with the situation. Tim realized they needed to have a conversation about her and Chris’ relationship but knew that now was not the moment. They had to focus on their jobs.

—

They controlled the situation along with other officers and were now headed back to the station. It felt rather tense in the car as they silently sat together in the shop until Lucy’s phone rang again. Chris called to check on Lucy as well as to let her know about a property he had heard off. Sensing Lucy’s discomfort, he intervened in order for her to get off the phone, receiving a kind smile from her as a thank you. “Lucy, look, if you don’t want to move, just tell Chris that.” Tim broke the silence between them, sensing that Lucy needed some help processing everything happening. “That's... The question is, why don't I want to move in? I don't get what the problem is. I mean, Chris is great. We're great together. We never fight.” Lucy said as she looked out the window, trying to clear her mind and put her thoughts all together. Tim found a place to park and stopped the car, looking over at Lucy. She looked surprised at his action but he knew that they both needed that conversation in the moment.

“Lucy, maybe that’s the problem. But do you guys not fight because you don’t disagree on things or because you don’t think it’s worth the bother?” Tim asked and Lucy felt speechless, unable to answer his question in the moment — something that actually answered it perfectly. “Lucy, you deserve someone that’s worth the effort.” He added, a soft smile forming on his face. He meant every word. Lucy had been through hell and back ever since she became a police officer and he needed her to realize her worth. Lucy nodded at his words but stayed silent, trying to collect herself. But deep down, she knew that she had made her decision. She was scared. Of course she was. A relationship with Tim meant taking a risk that could change her life forever — for better or for worse depending on the outcome. Yet, he was worth the risk.

—

The next morning, Lucy found Tim in the Watch Commander’s office. He was replacing Sergeant Grey who was on vacation in New York with his wife to visit their daughter. She knocked on the door softly before walking in, still wearing her casual clothes as she was early for her shift. “Lucy?” Tim asked as he looked up at her, gesturing at her to close the door behind herself. He stood up and smiled at her, glad that the station was still empty at this hour.

Lucy walked closer to him and took a deep breath. “You were right yesterday about Chris and I. I was too scared to admit that we weren’t working out and felt guilty about what Rosalind did to him.” She began, looking up into Tim’s blue eyes, giving him a soft smile. “I broke up with him last night. You helped me realize that I needed better than Chris, someone who treats me right and makes me feel like the most important person on Earth.” Tim searched Lucy’s face as she spoke, feeling speechless. He could feel tension between the two, like electricity. He wanted to kiss her but knew that it wasn’t the right time. Before Lucy could add anything else, he smiled a bit wider. “Lucy, would you like to go get dinner tonight with me?” He asked.

“Yes, Tim, I do.” Lucy answered and let out a giggle, feeling like a teenager all over again. She glanced out of the office’s windows to make sure no one was watching before she kissed Tim’s cheek. “I guess I’ll see you tonight in the parking lot.” She said before walking out, leaving a blushing Tim behind. —

Years later, at their wedding, she would conclude her vows by saying: “Tim Bradford, you are worth the effort.”

#chenford story #the rookie #chenford #chen x bradford #lucy x tim #lucy chen #tim bradford #the rookie abc #the rookie fic #chenford fic #tucy #tim x lucy

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olderthannetfic · 8 months

Note

The aroace anon makes me sad and shows how fucked up the whole discourse around ace and aro spectrum identities has become. The whole concept of asexuality was originally created for people like anon: a lack of sexual desire/attraction and affirming that this is a thing that can exist without being a trauma symptom and does not mean you can’t live a full, happy life. I’m not saying it was wrong to point out that some ace people have and enjoy sex; that’s obviously true. But people have apparently hammered it in so hard that some circles think that it’s strange for ace people NOT to want sex, and now the kind of people *the term was made for* are made to feel ashamed. And what’s especially telling and disturbing to me is the people in the replies saying they must be sex-repulsed. Anon is not saying anything to indicate repulsion; they’re just not interested in sex. People seem to have forgotten what “repulsion” actually means, but saying that someone who just doesn’t experience sexual attraction is “sex repulsed” is like saying that someone who is only sexually attracted to one gender is “repulsed” by other ones. Are straight women “women-repulsed?” And what’s most fucked up about this is genuine sexual *repulsion* is usually a sign of trauma and is the thing that is supposed to be dealt with in therapy THAT THE ORIGINAL ASEXUAL ACTIVISTS WERE SAYING THEY DID NOT HAVE. We have come full circle, where the concept is now used to advocate the opposite thing it was created for. What used to be about how someone like anon is normal and what they feel is fine and not because of trauma is now used to say “no there’s still something wrong with you if you don’t want sex, and that’s definitely due to trauma.” What the fuck people… but while I think a lot of it is just broader misconceptions about ace people including ace people themselves who internalize this, I do think part of the issue is there are clearly a lot of people online who identify as ace who are likely not actually, who clearly have pretty typical allosexual levels of attraction/desire but aren’t aware of that, because they’re overthinking stuff or they *think* about that attraction a little differently from others (as an autistic person myself I feel like this is especially common for those of us on the spectrum) or just are inexperienced. And nothing wrong with taking time to figure shit out, but it’s a problem when that perspective shuts out people like anon from the movement built for them. Like even just talking about “gatekeeping” is weird, because people like anon have been usually the ones deep inside the gates! And now people on the outside are pulling them out as they elbow their way in

Anon sounds like such a classic version of aroace. Not that other people can't also have that identity, but of all the people to try to gatekeep out of it... Sheesh!

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astroloverblog · 2 years

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astrology observations pt.1 💜

Leo stellium fifth house and Taurus or Pisces in the fifth house makes someone very creative

i also noticed that people having Pisces in their fifth house are into magic or things like rubik’s cube

having no water placements in your personal planets and by that i mean NO single planet, those people could have a tendency to get overwhelmed/uncomfortable when someone gets really emotional

Sun in the 10th house makes you want to inspire people (depending in what sign yours is) you also tend to be very famous on social media or attract fame and popularity in general!

Mercury in 12th house people might be really into science fiction

those who have Sun in Libra or Moon in Aries are somehow really good in history class

if you noticed yourself being really interested in astrology, its probably because your Moon is the only sign being in an fire sign (same goes for Mars in ninth house)

Neptune in the 2nd house could mean your insecure about your religion, or having trouble to understand others who aren’t religious/don’t have the same religion as you

Scorpio in their 3rd house people have a tendency to popularity

whats up with people having their seventh house in Capricorn, strong Capricorn placements always feeling like the therapist friend?

if you noticed someone having their eleventh house being empty but still seeming to be somehow very popular its probably because their Venus is in seventh or ninth house

the reason that Sagittarius seem to get along with everyone is because they never worry about themselves or what others think of them

hear me out, if your Moon is in Sagittarius or your Mercury in Aries you might be really good at remembering things

if your love language is giving or receiving gifts its probably because you get along with Leo’s very well (for example Leo in seventh or eight house, it could depend on if its empty or not tho)

the 3rd house is the house of communication, so if yours is empty you might have commitment issues (btw same can go for an empty seventh house)

having Mars or Venus in Pisces are these kind of people that love harder than most people do, also Venus in Pisces people sometimes just can’t stop being interested in the same person

if you have many Aries or Leo placements then you might find yourself being more brave than most people are (thats because fire signs are more extroverted)

Moon in Virgo or Scorpio always having to analyse every person they like

ninth house in Jupiter makes someone really sympathetic and likeable, also a tendency to be the “life of the party” or popular

The house Aquarius is in, shows where you use technnology (for example: having Aquarius eleventh stellium house could mean you like to use your phone while hanging out with friends)

Virgo, Libra or Capricorn in the 3rd house can’t stop making eye contact when talking to someone

Moon opposition Mercury people tend to be short, have a slower process in growing (i have this placement and believe me im not the tallest in my friendgroup)

Neptune in the fifth house makes someone good at acting probably also singing

Moon in Aquarius have such a creative taste in music, its fabulous

if you have Scorpio in your twelfth house, you mind find yourself overthinking a lot, and if your Venus is in twelfth house you might daydream a lot

Pluto retrograde or Moon in Cancer, Scorpio, especially Pisces might be very antisocial sometimes, same goes for Gemini twelfth house

if you attract a lot of Leo risings then this could be a sign you care a lot about how others perceive you (Leo being the ruler of the Sun (self))

i get why many people say having Pluto in your eight house makes someone very magnetic but what about people with their Moon in their eight house? They are so caring when it comes to one-and-one situations

lets be honest, Mercury in Aquarius just have the best laugh

Lilith in Capricorn alyways twisting everyone around their finger so they get what they want

i know many people say Virgo risings are very protective but can we talk about Libra risings? in my opinion those with Libra risings are way more protective and especially defensive when it comes to standing up for yourself

when it comes to career and business, Mars in tenth house is honestly the best position you can have, your good at making your name noticeable

Taurus Venus or in the seventh house being the most loyal person you’ll ever met (same goes for Sagittarius Venus)

Sagittarius in their 3rd house always hating to be interrupted while having Libra in the 3rd makes someone to listeners that are the ones that get interrupted, but instead of continuing speaking they stay quiet

Taurus Moon and Mercury’s how is it to always feel like everything is unfair?

Gemini’s be good in like every sport, how? Please they have so much talent, no wonder everyone seems to be jealous of them-

have you ever wondered why Scorpio Risings always seem to attract Pisces and Gemini suns in their life? Its probably cause they be the most funny and clumsiest person in the whole town

is it just me or do Leo risings always want to act busy

its so common for Cancer Rising, Moon and Suns to show empathy. they show it all the time

Taurus rising can mean being someone that comes of naturally rude

Gemini Moons how is it to always feel misunderstood?

i noticed that people with Aquarius Venus show they love by doing you a favour or being there for you as a friend (Aquarius being the ruler of the eleventh house which stands for friendship)

Moon in the ninth house can indicate someone who is really good at expressing themselves

Jupiter in the eight house people deny learning about their past life

Virgo Suns worry about the most smallest things, they sit hours waiting for you to text back, go check on your Virgo bestie right now

Libra Risings laughing either not at all or literally about anything

Leo Mercury’s telling you every single idea they got going on in their head, i also feel like they are very quick when it comes to making compliments

some might say Gemini Mercury’s can sing pretty well but have you ever heard a Pisces Mercury sing

i feel like people having their Saturn retrograde loose sense of time real quick

having Sagittarius in the 1st, 6st or 12th house can make you suicidal somehow

Virgo Suns or Virgo in the third/fourth or sixth house always shaking with their leg, playing with their hair, biting nails. theres always something going on with them

Hope you enjoyed it.

short disclaimer: its my first time making those so please don’t judge me 😃🤚im a beginner at tumblr so..(this post is made on experience i’ve had with people who have those placements so please don’t copy) [or at least give credits].

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part. 2: >>click here<<

#astrology #zodiac observations #zodiac #rising sign #sun and moon #horoscope #witchcraft #first post #astrology houses #planets #natal placements

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