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patchesproblem · 1 year

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I would like to know all of your Einsla hcs

I want to say that you're more powerful than anyone I know. I have so many.. I apologize in advance for the length of this.

This is probably going to be written across a few hours since I'm emotionally dead at this very moment and can't really process things as clearly as I'd prefer, so if anything gets repeated or it devolves into nonsensical ramblings I'm sorry.

Gay under the cut

This might be all over the place and jump between Lab 42 and current time, so uh oops...

Since this is all just hc's one of the first ones of mine is that Ein is 17 while Tes is 19. Einstein's birthday is towards the end of December while Tesla's is around the end of January. I have specific dates but eh. If anyone's interested I'll add them in later. Also headcanon them as extremely mean lesbians, and that they're both ace.

One of the first things is that I legitimately believe that they're soul mates. Which doesn't really affect anything or matter much, but they're always together in every universe. No matter what they manage to find their way to each other and it's sweet.. I love them. Even in the PE Einstein and Tesla were with each other, and Tesla's departure affected Einstein so badly she started wearing her glasses and dyed her hair to match hers.. They're soul mates and I refuse to hear differently..

Going off of in game information (aka their memory clips from the dorms and the AE VN) I personally believe they met each other in 1953. It's really the only thing that makes sense, because so much happened and you can't tell me that it all happened within the span of one year.

1953 is when the first eruption occurred, and soon after Planck and Einstein joined the American branch of Schicksal. Tesla began studying under Planck, and they quickly became friends. Of course it was a bit.. Interesting at first. Tesla had her whole song and dance of 'threaten people so she doesn't get attached and hurt' but they became friends rather quickly. Planck probably wasn't that amused just because Tesla's destructive, but whatever makes her little girl happy ig.

They became friends and were basically inseparable. They actively made each other worse. They looked at each other and went 'Yeah I can make her worse.' Dumbasses, truly.

Putting this in after the fact, but Tesla likes to think that she almost scared Einstein off at first. That was very much not the case, and she knew that she wasn't as big and bad as she tried to come across. Though she lets her think that just because it's harmless and helps her sleep at night.

At first Tesla was weary of Einstein, but like I said they quickly grew on each other. The reason I say this is just because I can imagine her thinking 'wow child prodigy. Can't wait for her to think she's better than everyone else and then be the dumbest person alive.' Was not the case. She is better than everyone else and Tesla loves her for it and will make sure that Everyone knows it. They are beneath her and she will make sure you know it.

Whenever one of them went the other followed even if they weren't needed just for funsies. They always worked together (Einstein would say it's just because Tesla stared at her pathetically but she just wanted to. Her looking pathetic was only a bonus because she could say she felt bad for her or something if questioned.)

They acted as each others emotional support in a sense. Since they met soon after Karl died I like to think that Tesla was always there for her when she couldn't handle dealing with it on her own. Along with this I think that during the time Tesla had to work with Dipshit 1 (aka Edison) Einstein was there to help keep her sane and help her not completely break down. I won't be going too much into this for my own sanity, but soon after Tesla tried to burn down Dipshits office (With Einsteins encouragement) they both just bailed and went to Lab 42 after Einstein got her doctorate.

This one is something I wouldn't shut up about the other day, but it means sm to me and if I'm yelling about my headcanons about them it'd be a crime to not mention it.

I don't think Einstein ever said anything to Tesla after she wasn't able to get her degree too. She never mentioned it nor did she really care. It's hard to explain but she knew that a silly piece of paper didn't determine how much she actually knew essentially. She saw her as her equal and not having a diploma wouldn't change that.

Another headcanon I have is that Einstein dragged Tesla along with her to Lab 42 and refused to work with anyone else other than her. Reason they went to Britain in particular is just because that's where Schicksal assigned them, and it got Tesla away from Dipshit 1 so it worked.

Taking a short break from that but I want to just say how much I legitimately think they care for each other. It's shown in the VN a little, but not much since it's coming from Welt's POV and both of them aren't as affectionate in front of others since yanno. Professionals.

They're really the only two people who actually understood each other in a sense. Like with Ein people mostly just saw her as a child prodigy who thought she was better than everyone else, and Tesla was just seen as an angry ridiculous person who was too emotional and needed to act her age.

It's difficult to explain, but I hope you kinda get the idea. Ein didn't have to act like a mature adult when around Tes and could actually just act like herself. Same went for Tesla, and she didn't have to worry about being belittled for just existing in a way others deemed childish. I've said this before and I'll say it again. A lot of what Tesla get's upset over makes sense. She HAS A RIGHT to be upset over it.

Along with this I hc Tesla as having ADHD and depression which makes her situation worse since emotional dysregulation often comes hand in hand with it. Literally only thing getting mad at her for the way she reacts does is make the situation worse. Hence why when Tesla gets mad at Welt Ein tells him to just leave her alone and don't bring it up again.

I could make an entire post explaining why I think ADHD Tesla is real, but that's the basic parts that's needed for this so.

Einstein actually made an effort to understand and over time they've come to a point where they've developed ways to actually communicate even when Tesla's on the verge of murder. Like Tesla has slight differences that she's caught on to and is able to use that to figure out how to help. She'll just try to give her space and just do small things to try to help calm her down as much as she can. Either that or she'll just sit / lay with her for awhile to make sure she either A. falls asleep or B. knows she's there for her and hopefully allow her to feel like talking.

The same goes for Einstein as well. Tesla helps her in ways that she herself doesn't even realize, yet they mean the world to Einstein. She'll be in a bad mood or having a bad day and then as soon as Tesla starts ranting and rambling about something she'll immediately start feeling better. If she knows that Einsteins having a bad day she'll start doing things in an attempt to help her feel better. She'll immediately go into over protective wife mode and make her favorite meal, watch her favorite show with her, etc.

This is just a side note, but I like to believe that Einstein made Tesla stop drinking. She got worried and basically said "No we're stopping this now." Let me cope okay.

Back to my nonsense from before, Planck knew before anyone else about their feelings for each other. She's the living embodiment of the homophobic dog meme and I will not elaborate further. Now she never explicitly says she knows, but I mean considering how much she relentlessly teases Tesla over it.. Yeah she knew. She probably took bets on how long it'd take for them to actually start dating with her co workers tbh.

Anyways, soon after they went to work in Lab 42 their stupidity just escalated. They made their lesbianism everyone elses problem. The Finn was convinced that they were dating. Truly their #1 ally. Though I will say they probably just got even closer during this time period. It was during this time that they made their little robots in their stupid little rivialry, and it was just chaos. They caused a few explosions by mistake, but sometimes things happen yanno?

Often times they'd stay up late either in their lab or just talking in one of their rooms. There was a few times where they'd be waiting for something to process and 'accidentally' fall asleep on each other. Though tbh they're probably really affectionate in general. Tesla's protective of her to begin with, and Einsteins an absolute menace who enjoys teasing and embarrassing her any chance she gets. It was probably around this time that Einstein knew something was up but she herself was too oblivious to actually realize it. They're both just disasters and got so used to existing like that it wasn't until Welt came around and suddenly became homophobic that she was like "oh. Is this not normal?"

Tesla and Einstein became even more inseparable after the 1955 incident. While before they could still act as functioning humans, after that they would start panicking if they didn't see the other. They had constant nightmares after that and honestly probably couldn't even sleep unless they knew the other was by them. Over the years it got better, but even to this day they still get panicky sometimes when their depression / ptsd flairs up.

This eventually led to them holding hands / each other in their sleep just to make sure they both knew the other was still there and safe, and it just became a habit they still continue to this day even if the nightmares are rarer than they once were.

I've written about this before I think, but I like to think that after the events of November 24th that as soon as Einstein woke from her coma she immediately started trying to figure out where Tesla had gone and immediately went looking for her. It just makes the most sense to me, honestly.

LESS DEPRESSING THINGS ASIDE!! WHILE I'M THINKING ABOUT IT!! Einstein 100% does Tesla's hair and make up often just because she's 'too tired' to do it herself. It started off as that, but eventually it just became a common occurrence just because it give's them an excuse to be stupid and show care for the other. Tesla loves when she does it because she's just a cat pretending to be a human and loves the attention. Fun fact she's probably gotten better at doing it than Tesla herself. I like to imagine that Tesla gets frustrated when dealing with knots so Ein helps get them out for her. Funnily enough she does a better job at taking care of Tesla's hair than Tesla herself. Despite Einstein not really having knots or tangles, she's surprisingly really good at getting rid of them. Tesla barely even feels anything, even if the knots so bad you'd think a tornado hit her.

Speaking of cat pretending to be a human, Tesla has these little noises that she'll make. It sounds stupid yes, but Einstein learned what each one means over the years. Tesla will be laying there and make a happy little noise without thinking about it and she'll just smile to herself.

Tesla also had this stuffed cat that she still has to this day that she cherishes deeply, and they both have plans on adopting a kitten one day and naming it after it. This is something that I'll write a fic about eventually, but she's just as big of a menace as they are.

There's also been a few times where Einstein just fell asleep on Tesla while she just gave her little scritches after she either had a bad day or work tried to kill them both. Which is often both.

OH and on the topic of them being soft and gay.. Einstein keeps their room freezing cold because she over heats easily and can't stand the heat. This, of course, only results in Tesla shoving herself as close to her as humanly possible because she's cold, but no matter what she'd probably be doing that anyways tbh. At least this way they both win. Though Tesla actually doesn't mind as much as she complains about it. However it also becomes a slight problem because Tesla's hair gets stuck in the buttons on Einsteins pajamas LMAO. They're a little dumb.

Speaking of being dumb, Tesla losing her immunity to the cold is literally just because of her own actions. What if I told you that although she was immune to the cold she just started complaining just to get Einstein to hold her which led to her getting too used to it and actually starting to get cold.

Einstein relentlessly bullies Tesla for being a ginger. That is all.

They have a secret language that they use to talk with each other. Yes, they formed an entire language. Yes it uses the most complex mathematical equations you've ever seen. It was originally made to quickly talk to each other through someone else, but it very quickly devolved into both of them using it just to talk without anyone else knowing.

The amount of times poor Joachim has had to take file folders between the two because they 'accidentally took the others work' is too many to count. He's been delivering their angry ramblings to each other for years and he doesn't even know it.

I've mentioned this somewhere else before, but they both keep each other alive in a sense. Without the other they both just kinda start questioning why they're still there. They're the light of each others life even if they bicker like an old married couple.

Tesla will come up with the strangest inventions / experiments but without fail you will find Einstein either A. Helping her with said strange invention or experiment, or B. somewhere nearby to make sure she doesn't get herself killed. The popcorn machine incident must not be forgotten.

Tesla also steals Einstein's jacket any chance she gets. Though they both do, to be honest. It's just less noticeable when Einstein steals Tesla's because it's often when they're off work and are just staying home or going out to see the light of day and touch grass.

Oh fun fact, a majority of the Anti-Entropy staff already knew that they were dating before they did. When they finally 'officially' were they all just acted surprised. Tesla wasn't amused. At all.

If one of them has a long day at work and the other is working in their office they'll just sit there with the other while they work. There's actually been a few times where Tesla or Einstein would just sit on the others lap watching as they work.

They adopted Joachim after the events of the VN and ever since then he's been stuck in a constant loop of "Go as your mom" and "Go ask your mother." He's so tired he can't deal with them and their shenanigans anymore.

Einstein secretly has a photo album that she keeps and updates with pictures of them and Joachim, little letters they've written to each other, and a few other important things that she plans on showing Tesla eventually. When? No clue. Probably an anniversary date, or a day that's really important to them.

Despite all they've been through whenever they're alone together they're able to act like their old selves again. They also tend to call each other by their actual names instead of their last names (Lieserl and Nikola respectively). Everything just feels as if nothing happened and that they're just stupid teenage scientists again. They have so many inside jokes with each other that you could make an entire novel just out of the ones that come to mind first.

In a timeline where god didn't completely hate them I like to think that them, Karl, Welt Joyce, Emma Planck, Elysia, and Eden were all just a stupid little family. When they eventually got married they made Welt be the flower girl and their robots were the ring bearers. Why they made him be the flower girl? It was Tesla's idea. They're mortal enemies yet they're the best of friends. He's just glad that she didn't make him stand still as a decoration. Take what you can get yanno.

Einstein basically grounded Tesla after she pulled her little stunt during the HoV's awakening. Tesla walked up to her talking about how she managed to make make the honkai cure and how she did it without anyone else's help. Yeah Einstein proceeded to pass out cold and didn't wake up for several hours. She was Not Happy. They got lucky Himeko took the L for them because otherwise Anti-Entropy would've been at a disadvantage since one of their leaders was out cold.

Of course while Einstein was proud of her to a certain extent, she was MAD. Like SERIOUSLY UPSET. She understood why Tesla did it. She knew that Tesla had always felt bad for what happened to her (i.e. her son murdering her dad even if it was justified, and then her son lying to her which resulted in her becoming a valkyrie and essentially ruining her own life.), but at that moment she didn't care. She was scared and worried for her and refused to let her out of her sight for over a month.

The thing about it is that while she knows Tesla did the right thing, the fact she did that without someone else around scared her more than anything. She's always been reckless but never to the point of injecting literal honkai into herself. Everyone in her life has died from Honkai, or causes related to Honkai. She was scared. The realization the she nearly lost her sent her into a panic and she just. Passed out. Afterwards she went on a very long panic and anxiety fueled rant to her about how reckless and irresponsible she was, and that she needed to be more careful. The reasoning behind refusing to let her out of her sight is more complicated than just "You're in trouble."

The cure had barely been tested, and to be quite honest as much as she trusts Tesla's math and theories she did not trust Schicksals. She was scared that there would be side effects that they weren't aware of and that Tesla would get hurt, or worse. If something happened to her she knew that she was the only person who had ANY chance of saving her, and the thought of her getting hurt near the front lines without anyway to get to her made every moment she wasn't in her sight terrifying.

Of course Tesla wasn't amused by this, and complained the whole time, but hey. Sometimes you just do what you have to do. Tesla quickly became less mad when the next month was just spent with Ein giving her affection. When in doubt, give your angry cat wife affection. Will solve any problem, just trust me. Einstein made her promise after that she would never do anything like it ever again, and Tesla complained before agreeing just to get her to stop being mad lmao.

Tesla also gets extremely embarrassed when Einstein tries to show affection or flirt with her in front of others. The great Frederica Nikola Tesla can't be seen as weak or have anyone know she is emotionally vulnerable. Truly an absolute disaster of a lesbian and I love her for it.

On a more depressing note, Tesla despises Ein seeing her in the midst of a melt down / break down. She's open with her yeah but also there's been times where she just refused to even acknowledge soemthing was wrong which just ended with her locking herself in a room for several hours on end feeling miserable.

Tesla also learned how to sew. She did this purely because she wanted to fix Eins old scarf since it'd gotten torn up, and I like to think she made her a new one after the second eruption happened and well.. yanno... Tbh I feel like Tesla's picked up a ton of random hobbies specifically because she wanted to do something nice for Einstein.

Another little thing is that I think it'd be cute if Tesla and Einstein had matching plushies that they'd take with them whenever one had to go somewhere else and the other couldn't follow. It was effective, kinda. They still miss each other.

Ein and Tes will rope each other into doing the dumbest experiments known to man kind, but it's exciting to them

. Bonding hours until something goes wrong and their lab is destroyed for the sixth time that week and Joachims on their asses over it.

I like to think that Tesla will just come up with the strangest, most out of left field invention ever and Ein will help her with it even if she's questioning how she got here the entire time.

In current time Tesla and Einstein either have the best sleep schedule in the world or the most destroyed caffeine addicted highschooler who hasn't slept in sixty years schedule ever. There's no inbetween.

Neither really mind though. To be quite honest half the time they just stay up talking about whatever happened that day or some random experiment idea. Either that or Teslas ranting and rambling about how someone made her mad. It happens often.

They both will also stay up all night playing video games. Tesla bullies Einstein at how bad she is at them, but one of these days Einstein will beat her at her own game. Just watch her. She's determined.

They probably play Minecraft LMAO- I don't know why I can just see them playing it together. Tesla likes to build and Ein likes to watch her as she rambles on and on about what she's building. Einstein probably goes out to get the stuff she needs, and when she's not home she'll get on just to farm a bunch of stuff to help her out.

They probably have several entire pinterest boards full of building stuff tbh. I also think that Tesla probably went out of her way to make them both matching Minecraft skins because Einstein wouldn't change hers because she was too lazy.

Tesla also constantly steals Einsteins jacket just because. Though Einstein steals hers so they're even.

I feel like Einstein uses 'dear' a lot towards Tesla. I don't know why it just makes sense to me. She probably picked it up from Planck tbh.

A really REALLY cursed headcanon I have is that both the way they got together and the way they eventually got engaged / married was equally as big of a mess. Now, imagine the scene. You're sitting there minding your own business when you see the two anti entropy doctors just staring at each other because they just tried to propose to each other at the same exact time. They are now bickering over who gets to propose. You do not get paid enough to deal with this.

In the main universe I think their wedding was.. Extremely small tbh..

Planck was there, and they probably put a picture of Welt, Karl, and Schrodinger in the front seats so they could at least be apart of it even if they never got to see it for themselves. Though as depressing as this is Tesla made sure they went ALL OUT on it. Like this girl was planning for MONTHS IN ADVANCE and hand checked LITERALLY EVERYTHING. She even spent literal hours doing Eins make up for her and dressing her up for the funsies.

It wasn't even because she didn't trust her to look nice, it was literally just because Tesla wanted to make her feel special. She wanted to make sure she knew how important she was to her, and make her feel as special as Einstein had made her feel throughout the years. Einstein complained a bit, unsurprisingly. Though it was more out of boredom of having to sit there than actual annoyance at Tesla. Honestly it's still probably one of their most cherished memories tbh.

One of my favorite hcs is that they're both just rambling menaces. Tesla will be telling Einstein about a new hobby, interest, or fact she's learned and Einstein will sit there listening intently while asking questions since Tesla tends to have a difficult time fully explaining things bc adhd is a bitch. She also probably writes down notes as if she was studying in a class lmao. Along with that when Einstein starts rambling Tesla always listens and looks at her as if she's being told the most interesting thing in the world, even if it's something as small as a cool rock she found. It's not often she gets to see her so passionate and outwardly excited about something and she cherishes every moment it happens.

They'll both secretly do research into the others new obsession / interest so that they know what questions to ask and so they're able to talk to the other about it.

One of Tesla's favorite things about Einstein is just how she seems to light up when she's talking about something she's heavily interested in. Seeing her unfiltered genuine joy just does something to her and every time she see's her happy she can't help but fall in love all over again. She's stupid and seeing her wife happy and excited just makes her turn into a mess and her smile just kills her.

There's also little things that they like about each other that the other really has zero clue about. For example Tesla always wears this certain perfume and it's become almost a comforting thing for Ein as weird as it is to say. With Tesla it's mostly what I explained above. Seeing Einstein happy and enjoying life means more than anything to her.

Sometimes Tesla will just fall asleep on top of Ein while they're laying on the couch watching a show or something, or when they're just sitting near the fireplace in the winter.

Especially during the winter their favorite past time is curling up together under blankets and drink hot chocolate on their days off. Tesla has this love of peppermints that Einsteins been aware of for years at this point, and every time she makes them both some she always makes sure to stick a peppermint stick in for her. Tesla is somehow still always just as excited and surprised as the last time. Somehow.

OH OH OH!!! HOLIDAYS!! HOLIDAYS ARE HELL IN THE EINSLA HOME!!

Neither should be trusted in the kitchen. They're chaotic messes of human beings that would make Gordon Ramsay have second thoughts about his choice in profession. Though believe it or not Tesla and Einstein can cook, but they're stupid. Tesla is probably the better one of the two but they both put in the same amount of work. Especially when it comes to holiday meals. Though this also leaves them both in the kitchen.

Tesla and Einstein will be holding a knife and threaten the other with it, all the while teasing and smiling at each other. Though there's probably been a food fight at least a few times. The kitchen was a disaster by the end of it, but hey at least they got to enjoy the holiday with each other.

Actually speaking of cooking.. I like to think that if they know the others had a hard day at work before they got home that the other would try to have dinner done for them. Like if Einstein was having a bad day Tesla would try to make sure her favorite food was ready by the time she got back, and vice versa.

Though they also probably don't cook as often as they probably should lmao. Just like in lab 42 they probably survive off pizza deliveries.

Speaking of deliveries.. Einstein will come up with ridiculous names just to mess with Tesla. She can't use her real name since she's legally dead, and neither can Tesla since she should be dead too. Every time she chooses a name to be written down she tries to come up with the most normal yet extremely weird name just to see Tesla's reaction. It's almost never good. Tesla isn't amused by her wife choosing "Chad" as a name.

There's been several times where Tesla will do Einsteins make up only to forget that she's already done hers and go to kiss her, resulting in her accidentally messing the others up. She dies on the inside every single time. Einstein just teases her over it and tries to hide her smile.

Tesla's way of saying "I love you" is her saying "I will kill you."

Anytime Tesla threatens Einstein she just says "Oh, really now Nikola?" or "Oh, really now Dr. Tesla?" If they're by each other there's a 50/50 chance that she'll lay on or lean against the other and just say "You would never hurt me," just to mess with her. It works every time because Tesla just angrily seethes from embarrassment and annoyance.

Neither of them like keeping secrets from the other. They both have known each other so long and so well that they're able to tell when somethings off about the other. Even if it's just a slight change, it often means that something else is going on. The only secrets they keep from each other are when they're planning on surprising the other. However, everything else they try to talk about.

Tesla and Einstein went back to Lab 42 once, decades later. They'd managed to get it back relatively quickly, though neither had the strength to get themselves to go to it. When they went back memories flooded back, and they stayed for a few hours just reliving some of their happier memories there. Though they left pretty quickly since along with the good came reminders of their reality.

Tesla usually sleeps with soft and fluffy blankets and two or three stuffed animals. Of course she threatens Einstein and made her promise she'd never tell anyone, but it's still a fact.

Whenever Einstein's upset and having a bad mental health day Tesla often holds her and tries to comfort her. This is especially true during the winter months, since that's when things typically get bad for the both of them. Once you add on what happened in November and January first.. You have a recipe for disaster.

Both of them would do almost anything for the other. Even though they bicker a lot and mess with each other, they're just two idiots in love at the end of the day. I might make another post continuing this since I'm very much sure I've missed something, but here's the ones I can currently remember. I have another hc post I'll link below.

I have A Lot more that involve other characters so I'll be making a post about that soonish. I'd add them in here but I'm emotionally and mentally exhausted because god hates me, and this post has already gotten long enough (I believe it's around 5k words now.. Sorry..)

I love them sm and you have no clue how happy it makes me knowing that people like hearing about my headcanons about these two. I think about them too much honestly.. Idk they're just my little stupid children that help me cope. My dumbasses. My daughters. My little losers. Girlfailure x Girlboss.

#honkai impact 3rd #frederica nikola tesla #lieserl albert einstein #nikola responds to asks #einsla #patches HCs #nikola rambles #I'm so sorry this is so long.. I don't get the opportunity to go full on ramble mode since I tend to post on twt mainly #and when I ramble in my friends dms it's often just in short bursts since it can get annoying quickly #I love these two sm like you don't even understand #nikolas posts

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alanshee-keeper-of-realms · 1 year

Text

Okay so for the last few days I've sat down to write this out, I have this queued to answer the blow out post of Diisdoodles

An ex friend who I thought of like family, a person I actually physically met, a person who now focuses on themselves

I repeat beating the dead horse I listened to them, from that Friday I listened and stayed away ranting in the Server we shared as is my coping mechanism. I rant nonsense because it is my insecurities I know and come to my senses eventually and calm down. I do it rhetorically if I am ranting

1. They weren't 17 when we met June 2021 they'd just turned 18 and was going into senior year of Highschool. I have gotten removed from several servers over former shipper habits, nowadays its rare for me to ship, seeing as everyone treats it like it's reality when it's not.

2. The White Supremists joke, ah that that was because every character they have had white skin, also they really hated acknowledging racism just ask em they removed it because others were uncomfortable with it in their writing,

3.That was without the context I laugh because I come from a toxic environment, my parents expect me to act a certain way and get angry if I try to tell them off, they are getting better however if you get pissed at this then yall are hypocrites, you cannot look at me and say your own families have behaved themselves no matter the race or culture, I'm talking everyone. Humans are Humans and we pick on each other, no matter how much we try to pretend we are innocent, we are not,

4. Oh this one hurt, representation is sick and twisted? Simone was dark already she's an Adult worker I even toned down for their sake. She's supposed to represent that money isn't everything Violet wasn't supposed to be a lawyer in the beginning she was supposed to be a doctor but did you know they have a phobia of hospitals so I purposely changed that for them so I wouldn't be triggering them

They're the ones who came up with the AUs min ideas, hey Dii remember Santa? A monster that feeds on the Fears of others and killed others because they couldn't escape said fears and starved to death

Or how about Echo, who is corrupted by the Wind Element and his own hatred for Zane becoming a Serial Killer? Simone was along for that ride corrupted by him,

And then that wind element moves on into another and turns them into a psychopath? Cause God the amount of tearing apart and gore in those would make Stephen King proud,

5. You see yourself as the Leader in everything. Why don't you step down from your high horse and realize being a Leader means you see everyone as equal

Your sheltered suburban 400k lifestyle is showing, a Leader doesn't step on others to make themselves look better,

A leader doesn't see another trying to create with their stuff and tell them no

I may have been using Nindroid Canon at the time, but I was trying to cater to you. I was trying to suggest things to add a bit to it

Did you forget to tell everybody how you muted those channels because you couldn't handle me having Realm 14?

6. Oh I am still mad about everybody else it's just you I'm vocal about because you traumatized me that much.

Though.she.be.little and General Yasur were apart of the trio,

Though.she.be.little gave bullshit excuses, who takes an RP so seriously like you have to change it thats ridiculous! I actually felt pretty damn guilty for forgetting their Sexuality and would still apologize for that to this day

General Yasur just baffles me. Honestly, I asked if I could vent and they said yes. I need clarification I need bluntness I need someone to rant to to keep that side out of the public. I found out how cold and not understanding they are towards mental issues after I asked for clarification and got blocked.

We were friends for longer than Diisdoodles I remember talking to them in 2018, and now they were so quick to shut me out.

7. You're really looking for an angle here, no I don't I have friends who are proshippers so if you're saying I should judge someone not on their personality and who they are but by their fictional shipping habits

Seriously dipped your toes into the Anti pool have we?

When I made that comment about you I apologized immediately and like I said in a prior post tried to explain my mindset but again you took it to heart

I don't care wtf you are doing I'm neutral and just here to read fanfics and support my fandoms, not get dragged into bs drama that reminds me of the Dems and Repubs fighting

8. No I don't because those people drive me nuts I can get hard headed about certain subjects but I'm no expert and clearly have no power

Came crawling to you? Full of ourselves again are we if I knew this would've happened looking for a friend

I would've never joined your stupid ass server

I remember the exact day I brought up the borg siblings, and you are immediately interested and wanted to hear more and even asked to put Chloe into an idea of an AU you had

And you kept on going. All I know you saw now is a meal ticket, easy street, yank these guys, and take off.

9. Felix is Transgender is it bad I wanted some rep and not have this Nindroid walk around hunky dory after being misgendered? Dysphoria is real and it's horrible.

10. You NEVER included anything at all the reason I mentioned it so much is because you avoid these subjects if your gonna be a show runner get your head out of your ass and be inclusive

None of them ever experienced anything you always had a fairy tale sheltered ending

God reading Harker made me wince because she was like an abused Housewife under Echo

Oh honey it's okay your murdering people but it's okay

Even children's shows push the envelope better!

11. It's because unlike you I didn't have someone to actually teach me this is the part I will admit I fucked up, I do have these and I am a lot more reactive then most

That kinda happens when your 2 years old sitting on the edge of the bed watching your caregivers abuse each other,

My brain learned to feign and shove the emotions away to survive no not an excuse, I know I did damage but I didn't know my emotions and that's why this keeps rearing up,

Didn't you do the same with this post I am writing about, however? You reacted to something that, by the normal sense, isn't a big deal

That picture its posted on Facebook it's on my Tumblr from Way Earlier like, no there is no reason, DMs when I feel angry I'm going to put walls up and show you your wrong, especially when I don't trust you to tell the truth.

You lost my trust the day you created lilac should I show everybody your plagiaristic side because I never got an apology for that

Now if I posted your Address or Name now that would be a big deal, yes my readers I know that very personal information

Diisdoodles in tern knows mine,

Makes me shake my head whenever they go off on a rage this is what the 5th or 6th time you've thrown a Temper Tantrum when people don't act like you want them to. Because to me it was all about you it was all about your Nindroid Canon

it was all about helping you create these worlds do I have no right to feel frustration that I can't create anything I want to do without you throwing a temper tantrum and muting channels that you want nothing to do with because it's not your stuff.

12. Wow with even I literally can remember the line I said that may make you think that I was arguing oh because Even is this way I thought that she would be this way, that's not arguing it's called overexplaining and I do it a lot because narcissistic parent it's how I get myself out of trouble, but it causes more trouble than it is worth especially when you have a person that takes everything to heart like you.

You say I couldn't handle being told no

way to put words in my mouth I don't fucking care honestly even isn't my character never was never will she be nor was Pandora or brat or Charlie

I never copied any of these guys afterwards not like how you did with mine

Quit trying to make yourself look better by telling lies because you removed me from all the servers and hide behind a block. Gee, it sounds to me like you really want this to be one-sided.

As for the final thing I love how you don't mention the fact that I literally asked you guys if you were okay with me talking about that fanfic because I knew it was dark.

I wrote it when I was 14 going through SA myself, yeah that makes it a ton worse but I love even more that you left out that context because we were all on voice chat and I don't recall sending it to you but the link is still up to this day because you know what I never delete things no matter how much a fandom changes shifts or whatever I just give them a warning about the stuff on my page.

It sounds to me like you have issues that you need to sort out because this whole post has just been seemingly about making yourself look better that's all I saw this as

That's all it's ever been about you got into some anti friends who are now side-eying you because of our former friendship and now you want to make yourself look better and God forbid if I post that picture because that shows your lying about your place in our relationship

And honestly that's such cowardice it's not even funny

Next time put some context because you know what I'm not afraid to put some context for people to read you just think about yourself in the long run and not others

You want to talk about white privilege look at yourself in a mirror didn't even have a fast food job they worked for Daddy as a secretary and had their own schedule live in a $500,000 house could go out and buy Legos whenever they wanted they could even within 2 weeks buy a $500 plane ticket to fly from where they live up to the city where the convention was being held for a weekend

Should I tell them about your car and what you wanted to do with it

And how much that actually fucking terrified me that I would hear that you got into an accident knowing that it was on purpose and that possibly the person that I see like a sibling or saw like a sibling was dead.

You're not the only one who is traumatized and you need to acknowledge that.

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waywardxrhea · 4 months

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Part Forty-One: Sisters

[slow burn romance between Steve Rogers and SHIELD agent Emma Baker]

Warnings: 18+, contains humor, fluff, mental health, family trauma, romance, angst, language, violence.

installment list

Word count: 1.1k

Emma pays a visit to Natasha.

One day Emma heads to the Compound to talk with Natasha in person about something that Rocket told her in an email the day before. When she arrives, Emma doesn't find Natasha in any of her usual spots. As she begins to wander trying to find Natasha, she hears piano music playing faintly from somewhere in the distance.

Inclined to see who is playing the piano, Emma goes to investigate and follows the sound to the gym where she sees Natasha dancing ballet beautifully. She silently enters the room to watch but is caught quickly by Natasha and her instinctual awareness of her surroundings. Natasha quickly turns off the music and says, "I'm sorry, I didn't expect you for a little while longer."

"No need to apologize. I didn't mean to interrupt," Emma tells her. She pauses and adds, "Your dancing is beautiful by the way."

Natasha smiles weakly and replies, "Beauty and grace in dance were instilled in me from a young age. Dance was one of the only things that made me happy in the Red Room though so I still do it when... well when things get to be too much for me." She takes off her ballet shoes and continues with a quiet laugh, "When things got hard, Steve had the punching bags, you had music you blasted, Sam cooked, but me? I've always danced when things got rough. Up until now, it was a secret I kept to myself."

"Well it can still be a secret if you want," Emma replies and pretends to zip her lips closed and tosses away the fake key.

"Thanks," Nat replies.

As Natasha stands up after taking off her gear and disconnecting her phone from the speaker, Emma asks, "If you don't mind my asking what got to you? You know what made you need to...dance it out and all."

Natasha sighs. She contemplates not saying anything at all but knows that keeping it in isn't helping anyone so she asks, "Can you make some of that famous tea of yours and we can talk?"

"You've got yourself a deal," Emma replies with a smile. After Emma makes the tea she sits down across from Natasha and asks, "So what's on your mind?"

Natasha takes a sip of the hot tea and admits, "There are just some days where I can't handle it all. I miss everyone so much and I feel useless because I can't find a way to bring them back..."

"I know how you feel..." Emma tells her with a sigh. "I didn't leave the lodge for the longest time because I got in such a bad headspace in blaming myself and trying to figure out something to bring them back."

Natasha wipes the tears from her eye and asks, "And you're doing fine now, how'd you get out of that mental space?"

"I couldn't have done it without Steve," she replies. "He finally got me in a place where I could start talking about my feelings instead of holding everything in and that really helped. Being away from all of this probably also helped to separate me from it all. Why don't you try that? You can come live with us again if you want so you don't have to be here reliving what happened all the time."

"Someone has to be here in case something happens, you know that."

"But just sitting around here the past three years hasn't helped your mental health at all, Nat," Emma tells her sadly. She studies Natasha for a few seconds and asks, "It's not just waiting around for the possibility of saving everyone is it?"

"Maybe you're good at this whole reading people thing, Baker," Natasha tries to joke. "But yeah, it's not just waiting around for that. It's also been trying to track down Clint."

"Track him down? Didn't he survive though?"

"Yeah, he did. And that's the thing. Out of his whole family, he's the only one who survived and it broke him. Lately, he's been operating under the name Ronin and killing crime bosses around the world. While that is good for controlling crime and all, obviously there are other more ethical ways that he could be doing that," she tells her.

"Oh God Clint..." Emma whispers. "And you haven't been able to reach out to him?"

"Nope. Phone always goes straight to voicemail and texts are left on read," Nat replies quietly. "I've tried tracking him down but he's my best friend, he's always one step ahead of me because he knows how I operate in and out on these kinds of things."

"I could help if you wanted," Emma offers.

Natasha shakes her head. "While I appreciate the offer, I couldn't take you away from your calm life with Steve. I also don't want you back in the headspace of blaming yourself like before. I can't have anyone else end up like him."

"Well, what about Rhodes? Can he help track Clint down?"

"He's been all over the world trying to help get things back and running. Even after three years, there are still some places in disarray and chaos. He doesn't know about Clint as far as I know and I don't plan on telling him."

"Banner?"

"He's...he's been MIA," Natasha sighs. "The last thing he told me was that he was trying to figure out the whole Hulk situation."

"Damn..." Emma whispers. "And Thor still isn't doing great?"

Nat shakes her head, "Hell I think you've talked with him more recently than I have."

"Well, the only time I can get ahold of him is when he's playing that dumb video game that just came out, and every time I try and get him to talk things out he kills my character and blocks me," Emma tells her. "I can only come up with so many usernames before I run out of ideas."

"Damn..." Natasha whispers. The two sit in silence for a minute in sadness about the disorder all of their friends are in.

As Emma finishes off her tea, she asks Natasha, "Hey, how about to keep your mind off of things, once a week I can drive up here and we can spend quality time together? I play the piano, you dance, and we get all the bad feelings out so things aren't so sad all the time. I can tell you're lonely and I want to be here with you when I can."

Natasha smiles and nods. "I would really, really like that. Thank you, Emma."

So that's what they did. Every week, when Natasha was feeling lonely she would call Emma up for a dance session. Emma would play the piano in the living room area of the compound and Natasha would dance until her feet bled. The freedom of dancing liberated her from the confines of her thoughts so she didn't care about the pain. During this time, the pair strengthened their bond into one that could never be broken, from a bond of friendship to a bond of sisterhood and love.

next chapter

taglist: @mrsevans90

#fanfic #marvel #captain america #slow burn #steve rogers #romance #fanfiction #friends to lovers #natasha romanoff

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randomshyperson · 3 years

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Palm Springs - Leigh Shaw

All Works Masterlist

Summary: In Palm Springs, Leigh meets you. The season one finale re-imagined.

Warnings: (+18), smut, cursing, dom!reader, bottom!leigh, explicit language, explicit consent, brief mentions of harassment, fluff, brief rivalry dynamics, hopeful ending.

Words: 5.378K

Notes: My love, @abimess, this is my apologies for you. I kept mistaken "Wanda" instead of "Leigh" at some points in the writing, but it all worked out in the end. I hope you all enjoy the read, this is my first time writing for this character.

//-//

You threw the signed divorce papers against the passenger seat, ignoring the thick tears that welled up in your eyes.

Raising your hand, you turned up the radio and kept driving. Your cell phone started ringing the next moment, but you ignored it. It was probably Bucky or Steve calling to find out where you were after your little outburst at the company fundraiser.

Honestly, it wasn't your fault. You were handling it all very well, but Carol decided it would be a good idea to give you the divorce papers while you were surrounded by your closest friends, and that was the trigger. But now you were driving to Palm Springs, finally taking the damn vacation your ex-wife had put you through so much hell to get, but now, the seat next to you was empty.

It took a few hours to get there, since the complex is in New York, but you didn't care, having spent most of the way trying to understand how you managed to lose a woman like Carol Danvers.

No bags, you ignored the curious look one of the hotel staff gave you as soon as you pulled into the parking lot, smiling slightly as you took off your sunglasses and asked for directions to the front desk.

You frowned slightly as you were almost run over.

"Watch where you're going!" You shouted angrily at the driver, and the woman returned you the same angry look. Great, you've barely arrived and you almost died. This weekend was promising.

Stepping back, you waited for the woman to drive, not failing to give her a wry smile as she passed you. After this, you walked to the reception desk, and the area was quite full, which was normal for a weekend.

"Reservation in the name Danvers." You said to the receptionist after the greetings. He smiled as he checked the information.

"Valentine's suite, I see." He commented cheerfully. "Shall I prepare a second key for your partner?"

"It's just going to be me, buddy." You grumble, ignoring the uneasy feeling in your stomach. The man smiles awkwardly, but doesn't apologize.

After checking in, you go up to the third floor.

The room makes you sigh with disgust, the flowers and chocolates give you a headache. It takes ten minutes to find a chambermaid and ask her to remove all the decorations.

While your room is being cleaned, you decide to buy something to wear, since you didn't bring anything to spend the weekend at the hotel.

"Good morning." You mumble the greeting as you enter the gift store, your gaze wandering around.

"How can I help you, dear?" The saleswoman asks politely, smiling at you.

"I need something to wear for the two days I'm staying. It was a last-minute trip." You tell her, and the saleswoman looks surprised, but doesn't comment.

The woman eventually showed you the summer shirt section, and you sighed softly as you looked through the options. She walked away to attend to another customer, and you left your attention to the clothes.

A moment later, you picked out a few pieces and turned to talk to the saleswoman, only to run into the woman who had almost run you over earlier looking at the book section.

"You again." You let it slip not so low, attracting the woman's attention. She frowns for a second, and then she recognizes you. But before she can say anything, the saleswoman is speaking.

"Oh, you two know each other already?" She asks excitedly. "It's amazing how we can find friends here in Palm Springs isn't it?"

"We're not friends." You both inform at the same moment, and you squeeze your eyes shut slightly. The woman straightens her posture, pressing the book lightly against her chest as you switch the shirts on your arm. The saleswoman's curious expression prompts you to speak.

"Actually, she almost killed me." You say. "It was going to be quite a headline for this hotel. I'd be careful about the people you guys host around here."

The saleswoman looks at you with confusion, while the other woman lets out a dry laugh.

"You're the one who walked across in the middle of the street!" she defends herself. "It's not my fault if you weren't taught how to cross the street in school."

"Oh, so it's the victim's fault now?" You retort and the woman looks at you incredulously. A third customer enters the store and stares curiously at the argument, but the saleswoman is quick to gesture between you, smiling wryly.

"Oh come on, I'm sure it was just a misunderstanding" The saleswoman remarks and you sustain the annoyed look the other woman is casting at you. "There's no need for an argument."

"Of course not." The woman says forcing a smile, but her posture remains aggressive. "We are both civilized adults."

You bite your tongue to avoid another provocation, looking away from the green irises in front of you.

"Of course you are." The saleswoman says smiling, and then her gaze catches the shirts hanging from your forearm and she lets out a light exclamation. "Come on, I can finalize your purchase if that's all, dear."

You turn toward the cashier next, and it is only after you have paid for the clothes and are leaving that you see the other woman again on your way back, but she does not look away from the books to you. You couldn't care less.

//-//

In your room, you can't resist the urge to look at your phone.

Bucky has called five times. And Steve even sent you an email. You sigh weakly, feeling guilty as you catch a glimpse of Tony and Natasha's message notifications.

Your friends didn't care that you started crying in the middle of the meeting you were at because your ex-wife decided to bring a sensitive topic like the end of your five-year marriage to the table, but you were hating yourself for it.

At this point, you didn't even know what you had been crying about anymore. You and Carol had always had a difficult relationship, and since you got married, you began to wonder why you had done it in the first place.

You loved her so much when you first met her, and then everything gradually broke down. The lack of compatibility, the jealousy and possessiveness, and the lack of time. Carol was a soldier in the army, and you were a Shield special agent, and your jobs took up a lot of your schedules. But you knew that this was just another empty excuse. After all, your best friend, Natasha, was also an agent, as was her wife, and they made everything work properly.

Maybe things were meant to happen that way. That didn't mean it didn't hurt.

After taking a shower, you grumble lightly as you realize that you forgot to buy a bathing suit. And well, everything special about Palm Springs was the magnificent pools.

You figured the shorts and top you had would have to fit.

The pools were considerably more crowded than the rest of the hotel, and this was probably due to the current temperature.

You decided to buy a drink before sunbathing, realizing that most of the chairs were occupied.

The bartender was a pretty girl and smiled mischievously at you when her gaze fell on your collarbone exposed by the cut of your shirt, but you just gave her a half-hearted smile. Being newly divorced wasn't exactly the best scenario for flirting.

"What can I get you?" The woman asked as she rested her hands on the counter in front of her. You bit your lip thoughtfully, running your eyes down one of the menus left on the wood.

"Honestly, I don't know anything here." You say. "But I would like something sweet."

It takes a few minutes for her to prepare a drink for you, and you thank her as you accept.

As you sip a drink that tastes like strawberries and condensed milk, you look around the surroundings.

You frown slightly as you recognize the woman from the store, watching her sit in one of the chairs that has just been emptied in front of the bar. She doesn't notice you, but you notice her exposed legs, mentally scolding yourself for doing so.

As you take another sip of your drink, your tongue getting used to the sugary sweetness, a man approaches the stranger in front of you. From this proximity, you can hear the conversation, or rather the small harassment that he was doing.

Rolling your eyes at the stranger's clearly offensive attempt to approach the other woman, you force yourself to get up and walk over to them.

Well, Nat always said that you were a person with a natural talent for theater and you wish she were here now to see the little scene you caused.

Pretending to trip over the sunshade support, you made a sudden movement and knocked your entire drink against the man's collarbone, who let out an exclamation of anger and surprise as he stood up.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" You asked in a falsely guilty tone, forcing an expression of shock. Before he could say anything, you were already grabbing one of the towels left on the little tables beside the chairs and throwing it harder than necessary against the man's face. "Here, honey, clean yourself up."

The man blinked in surprise, and glared angrily at you for a second before muttering "whatever" and turning to leave. When he was already a safe distance away, you turned your face to look at the seated woman.

"Sorry about your book." You speak as you notice that the spilled drink has dripped a little on the pages. "But if you ask me, the ending sucks."

"Thanks, I guess." The woman mumbles not keeping her gaze on you. "I didn't need you to help me, by the way." She adds and you roll your eyes, realizing that the chair next to her got empty after your little commotion. When you sit down, she raises her gaze to you in disbelief.

"Who said I was helping you?" You retort. "I love throwing expensive drinks at strangers."

Your joke elicits a nasal chuckle from the woman, who softens her posture.

"If you want to lose money, I suggest donating rather than wasting it." She teases back and you bite back a smile, shaking your head slightly. When she opens the book again and leans her back against the chair, clearly deciding to ignore your presence, you copy the position, but stand with your arms folded across your chest and close your eyes, enjoying the warmth of the sun against your skin.

You are tired from the trip, and eventually fall asleep. When you open your eyes again, the woman is no longer there.

//-//

Since you have napped until the afternoon, there is no chance you will sleep early. You try to distract yourself with television, but most of the programs are pay-per-view and you have probably already exceeded all the limits that a Shield salary can afford, so you decide to spend some time on the activities included in your weekend bundle.

After putting on a shirt to join the lobby, you take the elevator down and step out into the outdoor area, not surprised to find the place as busy as before. The difference is perhaps the lack of children because of the time of day.

You walk toward the bar and roll your eyes slightly when you notice the same man as before being loud and boisterous along with a small group partying near the place. But you ignore them as you sit down on the first stool you find.

"Well, if it isn't my knight in white armor." A female voice comments wryly beside you, surprising you mildly. You look at the woman with a raised eyebrow, but she is looking straight ahead.

"So you expect me to call you a princess? We don't even know each other." You retort in the same tone, and watch the woman bite back a smile, rolling her eyes slightly.

You stand in silence while you order a drink, this time smiling in the same way that the bartender smiles at you. While you wait, you can' t help but look over to the side.

"You know, I think I might need to get your name." You begin in a tone of false seriousness, not knowing why you want to pull conversation with the stranger, but doing it anyway. "Since I need to know who to sue for attempted hit-and-run."

The woman laughs lightly, and as she sets her drinking glass back down on the counter, she turns her body toward you, without getting up.

"The smart thing then wouldn't be to say my name, don't you think?" She retorts with amusement in her voice. "That way I avoid a lawsuit."

You smile in a corner, shaking your head slightly. You lean your arm on the counter, and it takes a moment for her to speak again.

"I'm Leigh."

"No last name so I can't find your ID, right?" You tease and she smiles, licking her lips for a moment. "Well, I won't tell you mine either then." You comment before telling her only your first name, and she laughs lightly. "May I at least know your profession? Or, I don't know, where you're from? I need that information to track you down."

You joke, and Leigh makes a thoughtful expression for a moment.

"I'm from everywhere actually." She says mysteriously. "Because I'm an international jewel thief."

You smile at the mixed tone of seriousness and playfulness in her speech, respecting her right not to want to tell you the truth, and acknowledging the identity she chooses to assume.

"Oh, really?" You ask joining in the joke. "And let me guess, your disguise happens to be as a fashion stylist, right? And you have a red motorcycle and deadly poison hidden in your lipstick?"

Leigh holds back her laughter, nodding.

"I can't confirm any of that information, actually." She says. "After all, a little incident happened and I wasn't able to finish the story."

You laugh at the teasing, taking a sip of your drink. Before the moment of silence lasts any longer, you ask if you can approach. When Leigh consents, you take the seat next to her.

"And what do you do?" she asks as soon as you sit down. You clear your throat lightly.

"I'm a secret agent, actually." You tell her and from the woman's expression, she still believes you are joking. You do not correct yourself however. "Lasers and villains, the whole story."

Leigh smiles, murmuring in understanding.

"And what is a secret agent doing in Palm Springs?" She asks next and you assume a dramatically thoughtful expression.

"I got a hint actually." You reply. "A jewel thief, fugitive from the government. I'm trying to gather information to effect her arrest."

Leigh fakes an expression of horror making you laugh.

"If I see anything suspicious, I'll give you a heads up." She jokes and you smile, enjoying the whole thing. Before you can add anything else, the small group next to the bar let out loud laughter and they attract your and Leigh's attention.

You frown slightly when you witness the guy from earlier whistling at one of the hotel staff, the people with him finding his little scene of harassment funny.

"I guess a drink in the face isn't enough for some idiots." You comment and Leigh sighs mildly. She looks at you at the same moment you look at her.

"Maybe more drinks will be enough."

That's how you end up doing a little mischief that involves distracting the stranger with comments about his muscles while Leigh approaches and manages to get the man's card. When you walk away, after she hands the bartender the hotel ID after ordering a round for everyone at the bar on the stranger's behalf, you were laughing.

"I'm beginning to believe your thief story." You amused comment as soon as you and Leigh reach the trail out of the bar area. She just smiles at your words. You clear your throat next. "I guess I need to show off my secret agent skills then."

Leigh looks at you curiously, but you just smile as you nod in the direction of the gardens.

You walk for a few minutes in silence, and you remember everything you have observed since you arrived at the hotel, and are able to find the small opening in the fence that you saw some staff members pass through in the afternoon.

"Please, milady." You joke as you make room for Leigh to cross the path first, and she rolls her eyes with amusement before doing so.

You end up in some kind of unfinished private garden, but one that is still very pretty.

Perhaps it is an area under construction for some kind of party, as it has a stage set up in the center and some folded chairs scattered about.

Your attention falls immediately to the piano that has also been set up high on the dark stage.

"How did you find this place?" Leigh asks as she looks around, and you walk past her to get on the stage, eliciting a giggle.

"Field study, of course." You reply with false seriousness. " A secret agent never goes anywhere without studying the whole place first."

Leigh murmurs in agreement, deciding to follow you to the stage. You take a seat on the piano bench while she remains standing in front of the organ.

"Do you have any requests?" You ask looking down at your fingers as she studies your face.

"Old Mac Donald had a Farm." She replies and you choke on a laugh.

"And I thought your taste in music was as good as your fashion sense." You tease causing her to raise an eyebrow.

"Is that your way of complimenting what I'm wearing?" She retorts but you just bite back a smile, moving your fingers across the keys.

You decide to play a melody that she may not recognize, but is exactly what you feel you should play.

When the first notes of " Spring - Ludovico Einaudi" echo in the room, Leigh looks at you in surprise, but you just smile.

It takes a moment for her to surround the piano, and to sit down next to you. You continue to play, enjoying the sound and concentrating not to misplay the notes.

When you make a particularly fast movement on the piano, Leigh looks at you impressed, but you just push your shoulder lightly against hers, smiling. Neither of you regains the distance from before, and you continue to play.

When you finish, you are silent for a moment.

"Where did you learn to do that?" She asks in her low, impressed tone as you both look down at your hands on the keys. You sigh slightly, moving your fingers away and placing your hands in your lap.

"I used to play when I was a kid." You reply. "Before I was a secret agent, of course."

Leigh smiles, biting her lips lightly. You look away from the movement, to her hands quickly.

"Let me show you." You whisper as you reach out your hand to hers. When she accepts, you position her fingers on the keys, and then fit your hand on top of hers. "You start like this."

The sound is far from perfect, and Leigh laughs every time she misses a note, so you don't really care.

You stay like this for a few minutes, until you can get her to complete five notes without making a mistake.

"See? You' re almost a pianist already." You comment with a smile, looking at her face. She mimics your movement, and you feel your heart skip a beat from the closeness.

You feel the tension build in the room, but before you can think of doing anything, a male voice is breaking the spell.

"Sorry, but this area is for employees only." Informs the young man from the hotel, seeming slightly embarrassed to interrupt. You and Leigh quickly walk away, standing up and muttering an apology in unison to the guy, who waits until you leave by the trail he guides.

When you reach the entrance to the social area again, the employee closes the gate, waving slightly. You and Leigh exchange amused smiles.

"So... what do you want to do now?" You ask the next moment, wanting to prolong the evening.

"I want to swim." She declares and you frown slightly, then shrug. You nod in the direction of the pools and you exchange a glance before starting to walk.

//-//

At the edge of the pool, you sigh slightly.

You exchange a look with Leigh, standing next to you, and then you laugh softly as you both begin to undress.

You can't resist the urge to look at her, especially since she jumps in first and you catch a glimpse of her body covered only by a bikini. Ignoring your uncompensated heartbeat, you jump into the water next.

It's a good thing the water was cold, because you are feeling your face and body heat up at the way Leigh looks at you.

Trying to lighten the mood, you swim around her, casually meeting her gaze again as she mimics the movement.

You laugh lightly when you realize that you are swimming in circles around each other, and decide to stop. Leigh swims in front of you a moment later.

"Hello, superspy." She greets you almost in a whisper waving her arms to continue on the surface in front of you.

"Hello, international thief." You speak back in the same tone, your gazes locked on each other.

You wonder if she would like you to break the distance, as her gaze has lowered to your lips for a few seconds. But before you can surrender to this urge, she takes a step back.

"I'm cold."

And then she swims away, and you wonder if you have taken the whole thing the wrong way.

Following her a little way back, you look for towels.

//-//

"Which floor are you on?" You ask as you reach the elevators, each with a towel around your body. You watch Leigh tighten her arms against herself slightly.

"Second." She replies half-heartedly, and you nod.

"Let's go together then."

She gets into the elevator first, and after she presses the button, you stand next to her, your back against the wall.

The tension is back the moment the doors close, but after the pool, you find it best not to take any action, not wishing to make Leigh uncomfortable.

You reach her floor a moment later, and when she doesn't leave, you hold your breath.

You risk a corner-of-your-eye glance at her, but she continues to stare straight ahead, sighing slightly.

Trying not to look like a complete mess, you wait for your floor to arrive.

//-//

The way down the hallway is silent, and despite your nervousness, you don't fumble to open your room.

Leigh enters first, and strides into the room as you close the door.

She stops in the center, her gaze scanning around for a moment before returning to you. You hold your breath, and then she lets the set of clothes in her hands fall to the floor.

You bite back a smile, mimicking the movement. Taking a deep breath, you do the same with your towel, and ignore the heat in your cheeks as Leigh's gaze descends to your body covered only by your underwear.

She removes the towel at your waist next, and you stare at her exposed legs for a moment before moving slowly toward her.

You smile shyly as you stop in front of her, and it takes a second for you to slowly lift your fingers to touch her, tracing the outline of her arm and watching her skin shiver.

"Everything okay?" You ask softly raising your gaze from where your fingers were touching to her eyes. Leigh sighs, shaking her head in agreement. You give her a short smile, placing your hand on her cheek, and watching her lean into the touch slightly. "Use your words." You ask in a whisper, your other hand repeating the motion of your fingers from before, even more slowly.

"Y-yes." She confirms half breathlessly. "And you?"

"Yes." You say, your hand reaching for the strap of her bikini. "I'm going to kiss you now, Leigh."

She nods in understanding, sighing heavily. You didn't correctly calculate how attracted you were to her, because the moment your lips touched, you felt your head spin and it was hard not to push her against the bed immediately.

You both sigh against the kiss, and you slide your tongue into her mouth next, your hand on her face running down to her neck, deepening the kiss even more.

Leigh seems hesitant to touch you for the first second, but then she gasps against your tongue, and brings her hands to your shoulders, bringing one of them up to the back of your neck and scratching the skin, making you sigh.

With the hand that was on the bikini strap, you use your fingers to pull the strap down, and with the other hand you repeat the movement on the other side. When the bikini falls to the floor, your hands go down to her waist, and you pull her toward you.

Leigh gasps at the contact of your breasts bumping together, breaking the kiss with a wet sigh, and you take the opportunity to move your mouth down her collarbone, enjoying the sounds you manage to get out of her whenever you bite her sensitive skin softly.

You lean against her to lower your kisses to her breasts, and when your mouth finds the hardened nipple, she arches her back, closing her eyes as her fingers force your head forward against her breast.

"Oh." She moans as she feels you suck on her nipple, your other hand moving up to give her other breast due attention, your fingers playing with the tip. " Oh, fuck, that feels good."

You smile against her skin, feeling your core tighten with the sounds you are tearing out of her.

When your hand on her waist moves down to her ass, squeezing the flesh and pressing Leigh's hips against yours as your mouth continues on her breast, she moans loudly as she throws her head back, shuddering against you.

It's enough to make you lose control. You need to know how she tastes.

Gasping, you move your kisses down again, and Leigh holds her breath as you get down on your knees.

You kiss her thighs first, while your hands pull down the fabric of her panties.

When the fabric falls away completely, you swallow dry, your gaze glazed on the exposed intimacy of the woman in front of you, your mouth salivating to taste her.

"I-I'm gonna fall." She comments shyly, and you notice how her knees are already shaky. You take a deep breath, forcing yourself to stand up.

You take Leigh by the hand to your bed, and she stands there, making you smile. You move forward against her mouth again, and she sighs, almost losing her balance from the intensity.

"Lie down." You ask between one kiss and another, making her moan softly. "Spread your legs for me."

Leigh gasps against your lips as you slip your fingers through her folds for a moment, before pulling away until she obeys. You bite your lips as you watch her lie down.

Before you join her, you remove the rest of your clothes. Leigh's cheeks redden, but you give her no time to register this, climbing onto the bed with your knee between her legs and kissing her again.

As she begins to squirm beneath you for more friction, you move your kisses down her body.

She closes her eyes when your mouth is at the level of her belly, breathing hard.

When your tongue touches her pussy, you both moan loudly. You are amazed at how wet and hot she feels, the taste filling all your senses. And Leigh bites her lips to stop herself from moaning out in pleasure when your tongue begins to move against her clit, sucking and licking her devotedly and making her whimper.

"F-fuck." She moans breathlessly, her hips thrusting into your mouth. "Yeah...right there... don't stop..."

You lift your hands to her thighs, holding her open. Your own intimacy pulsing from the way Leigh is surrendered to you and the sounds she gives you.

Keeping the strokes of your tongue as deep as you can and being sure to press your clitoris in return, you feel her pussy tighten and Leigh's body begins to quiver in spasms.

"I-I'm... close... fuck..." she begins to whimper disconnected words, long moans escaping her throat. It takes only two more strokes for her to come on your tongue, her moan loud enough to be heard in the next room, but neither of you care.

You drink all of her cum, enjoying the taste and feeling on edge, without even having been touched yet.

Moving up your kisses again, you deposit slow kisses against Leigh's skin, waiting for her to recover from her own orgasm.

When you reach her mouth, she kisses you back with the same intensity.

You just know you're not going to sleep early tonight.

//-//

When you wake up, your bed is empty. You are surprised by this, really.

The night was very good. Much better than any one-night stand you have ever had.

After getting dressed by finding your articles of clothing, you walk to the front desk.

It takes a few minutes to find Leigh, and you frown when you realize from the bag in her hands, the documents, and the car key that she is leaving.

"Wow, you weren't even going to leave a note." You tease as you catch up with her. She is startled by your sudden presence, but forces a smile.

"Look, I'm sorry..." she starts but you shake your head.

"No need." You interrupt by putting your hands in your pockets and shrugging. "It was just one night after all."

"Yes." She reaffirms what you say, staring at you. You hold her gaze, and a long minute later she sighs. "No, it wasn't."

You swallow dryly, watching her. She seems conflicted about something, her expression going from worried to guilty in a few seconds, and then she takes a deep breath and shakes her head before looking at you again.

"I can't." She says, and you sigh lightly. "I just... can't."

"It's okay." You decide to say, ignoring the way your stomach is flipping with nervousness or your heart is racing. "We are civilized adults, aren't we?"

Leigh smiles, and you watch her eyes water for a moment before she quickly hides her emotion. You feel the same way.

" This is a goodbye." Leigh says next, and you look away to the floor, nodding in understanding.

"Goodbye, Leigh. It was nice meeting you." You say as you look at her again, forcing a smile even though your eyes are watering.

She smiles, approaching to kiss your cheek close enough to your lips to make you shiver. She doesn't pull away immediately, raising her mouth to the height of your ear, she whispers "I left a note." and before you can understand what has been said to you, she is gone.

It is only at the end of the day, many hours after she has left, and you are already inside your car that you rummage in your pants pocket looking for the car key that you find the note.

It is a piece torn from the page of the book "Unmoored in milan", the paper stained with drink. In the corner, in cursive letters it is written. "to my favorite secret agent. Leigh Shaw, Los Angeles."

You smiled at the words, and as you were driving back to New York, you wondered how long it would take Natasha to find out Leigh's phone number.

//-//

Tag list> @imapotatao / @aimezvousbrahms/ @ensorcellme/ @helloalycia

@mionemymind / @abimess / @stephanieromanoff / @yourtaletotell / @tomy5girls / @justagaypanicking / @thegayw1tch / @idek-5 // @myperfectlovepoem // @HELLOALYCIA // @ENSORCELLME // @AIMEZVOUSBRAHMS // @drpepperobsessed // @sighsam // @olsensnpm

// @sxfwap // @table57

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randomgamefan · 2 years

Note

Can you tell us some of your scrybes headcanons?

And some about magnificus mages if you have some-

Oh ABSOLUTELY I can do that (I'm aware this is an older ask and I apologize)

This is probably going to get a bit long so I'ma add a funky readmore, but a lot of my scrybe headcanons come from the portrayal of the Scrybes done by those in the Inscryption community discord. They're incredible at what they do and huge shoutout to them!!

Also, fun fact, this has been in my drafts for over two weeks because Tumblr accidentally deleted half this post at one point and I gave up and pretended it didn't exist for a while

Let's go down the list! First off, Leshy. This dude is quiet, the "speaks mostly when spoken to" type, unless you ask him about his stories/sit down to play a game with him. This normally quiet dude can ramble for hours about things he's done, people he's met, or just ideas he has for characters and stories! Overall, rambly dude.

Leshy also does all the work on his maps himself! Hand made... You know it's made with care and love.

Leshy also cares for animals a lot. The rat that gives you the pack rat cards is just one of his many pets! He definitely would run an animal shelter, but would have no problem feeding huge hawks mice or other small creatures from his hands. Everything has to eat, sacrifices must be made.

Alright, Grimora! She is very much a grandmotherly type, and always has tea or snacks for anyone who might need to come to her for support. Though a bit ominous, she's caring and overall going to take you seriously and care about your problems.

Grimora would very much be the type to adopt old, dying dogs and be with them until they pass. It's a thing not a lot have the heart for, but as much as she cares, she understands death is a natural part of life and is more than happy to make death a happy and peaceful thing. It's a celebration of what you've done.

Despite all that, Grimora is a very sentimental person. She keeps all the trinkets and things given to her by others, cherishing them deeply. She has the same struggle as many with death - if she is too attached, it is hard to let go. Even if she's better at handling it than most, Grimora would grieve heavily for those she loves passing on, and keep anything they gave her close for a while.

Magnificus! Magnificus isn't cruel, however, the game has set him up to be an antagonist. There has been many times where he has attempted to save his students, but after a lot of time, he's been worn down. He cares about how they fare, but in the end, it doesn't matter - the game always resets. Nothing he can do about it.

Unlike the other scrybes, Magnificus has never once possesed data and used it to gain power for himself - though he has used it to attempt to save his students multiple times. This has left him weak, and he doesn't have nearly the strength of the others. It's hard to inscrybe cards when you are weak and exhausted, so a lot of his cards are older.

Magnificus, similar to Grimora, is very sentimental. For a long time, even if he couldn't free his students, he made sure to show off any gifts they had given him. As he's grown more exhausted and angry with the situation he's in, those gifts have been stashed away. He still appreciates them, but he's damaged a few in his madness, and would likely continue to do so. So they're buried, along with any memories of a past that was bright.

Alright, made you all wait long enough, P-03! First, some uberbot thoughts - G0lly is definitely the oldest out of this group, followed by the archivist, then P-03 itself, and finally the canvas (or unifinished, whatever ya wanna use). Out of all the uberbots, P-03 minds the company of the archivist the least, and G0lly the most. The other scrybes were frankly surprised to see her at all when Luke fought P-03.

P-03 has a bit of an issue with perfection, as it holds itself to an impossibly high standard. Cards need to be perfect, keep up an unfeeling persona, ect. This often leads to it overworking itself to a detriment, where it crashes and is usually powered off for a couple hours.

P-03 is the one counting misplays in Kaycee's mod - it needs something to do. Therefore, it can and will judge how you play Leshy's game.

Magnificus Mages speed round

- Pike is the most loyal out of the three, and likely would stick by Mag's side even if freed.

- Goobert keeps getting contained in jars and pipes by accident - he somehow always gets restored during a scrybe takeover, and Magnificus is pretty sure the dimension he's trapped in just overlaps with wherever the takeovers happen.

- Lone kept a small supply of other types of cards in his room - he really wanted to explore the world.

- Pike was skilled with many weapons! She liked to practice in her free time - it hurts her so much that she cannot pick up her weapons.

- Goobert generally was a very anxious student who always needed to know if he was doing things right. Magnificus did not like explaining things or giving validation, so he often looked to his other students for validation. This helped the three become very close.

- Lone loves the arts - singing, dancing, drawing, ect. However, he feels like he can't create properly in the void and it's killing him.

- Pike is surrounded by hot coals, so sometimes the stick she's on catches on fire. It usually goes out quickly, but it's a terrifying thought that one day it could burn up.

- Goobert is in a lot of pain as he keeps getting shoved into very small spaces - also phantom pain as he feels like he should definitely have limbs

- Lone is a very clingy person, which is only made 10x worse by being locked up for so long - he can and will grab onto others and not let go.

Alright, not that you all have read this long post, shoo! I have no more headcanons for you! :] (I do but I'm hoarding them for now, feel free to send in asks if you want more!)

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t0shii · 3 years

Text

% comforting them when they're upset

.! oikawa, tsukishima, matsukawa (sep) x gn!r

.! angst + fluff/ breakdowns, crying, etc. lightly proofread bc im lazy so sorry for any mistakes.

.! im so sorry if this is absolute word vomit or horse shit 😭 i tried my best though 😌 uhhh sorry for not posting yesterday i got my daith pierced and i was in a lot of pain after that so i didnt feel like writing anywho enjoy this 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 p.s. i was originally gonna write for mad dog but i was struggling so i went with mattsun instead sorry. also idk why matsuns ended up being so short i didnt do him justice i apologize 😩

oikawa

— always gets discouraged when his knee bothers him. today was one of those days. his coach had made him sit out of practice because he had been limping a bit. he came home distraught and you noticed right away.

"what's the matter toru?" you asked opening your arms for a hug, which he accepted, wrapping his arms around your middle quite tightly. "my knee is bothering me again 'n coach made me sit out. it's just not fair." he mumbled into your shoulder. you could feel his tears soak through your shirt. you nodded and responded, "baby, he just doesn't want you to hurt yourself. i know it's not fair but-", "but i wanna play volleyball, i wanna get better and practice." he said, aggravated that you weren't exactly on his side, still he held you tighter.

"toru, baby, look at me." he does as told, and you bring your hands up to wipe his tear stained cheeks,"toru, you can't strain your knee anymore than you already do, you know this. i know you only want to play volleyball, baby i know, but you have to be patient." he nods in agreement and you do the same, then guiding his head back to your shoulder, "i know it's frustrating toru, but you can't force it, y'know? he wouldn't make you sit out if it wasn't for your best interest. you know that, deep down."

the two of you had been cuddling on the couch, his back against your chest when you heard him sniffling again, "toru, what's wrong?" you ask softly, sitting up slightly. "i'm so useless, my own knee can't even work right. the team deserves someone better and so d-do you" he hiccuped, hiding is face in his hands. you felt guilty for not comforting him more earlier. "toru, that's not true at all." you stated, forcing his hands into yours, "take it back right now." he looked at you confused. "toru oikawa i said take it back right this instant." you said a little sterner than before.

"no." he managed to get out through sobs, and you knew the stern method wasn't going to work this time around. "toru, please. you're not useless at all, not to anyone, not to the team, and especially not to me. you're the best teammate, friend and boyfriend anyone could ever ask for and your knee just needs a break sometimes, you just need a break sometimes and thats okay. needing a break doesn't make you useless or weak, toru." you say softly, guiding him to a sitting position, hugging him closely and tracing small, comforting shapes on his back.

"you're so so strong toru, and you're an amazing person, an amazing boyfriend, you're such an amazing volleyball player and i'm so proud of how far you've come since highschool." you say, kissing the crown of his head. "you mean it?" he asks leaning back to look at you, "i always do, toru. i love you more than anything, and i'm so so fucking proud of you, but you have to know, it's okay to need a break sometimes and it doesn't change who you are as a person and it definitely doesn't make you weak or useless. he nods in response, burrying his head into the crook of your neck. you both stay like that, you whispering words of affirmations, him listening fondly until he feels better a little while later.

tsukishima

— he usually didn't let the stress of professional volleyball get to him like this, but he couldn't help it he would be lying if he said he wasn't overwhelmed, from interviews, to extra practice to prepare for the overseas games he had coming up, he was exhausted, to add onto it all he had been neglecting you and he felt horrible for it.

you knew practice was going to be running late since your boyfriend had told you in advance, so you weren't initially worried as to why kei had been coming home late at night. this night in particular was the fourth night in a row kei been home late and you starting to grow concerned. you hadn't seen him hardly at all that week, which was unusual because he always made time for you no matter what. worried, you decided to stay awake and wait for him to get home.

when the time finally comes, your heart dropped at his appearance, he looked absolutely horrible, as if he hadn't slept right in weeks. "why are you up?" he mumbled, taking his shoes off rather sloppily, uncharacteristic of him. you made your way closer to yoir exhausted boyfriend, "kei, i'm worried about you. i know you don't like me meddling with your career, and please don't misunderstand my concern for that. i'm just worried you aren't getting enough rest and i've barely seen you at all this week." you said, crossing your arms over your chest.

you knew something was wrong when you saw the tear swell in his eyes, but he just stood there awkwardly, you walked closer toward him, "kei, what's wrong?" you ask, extending your arms toward him, which he basically fell into, he started sobbing immediately, shocking you initially. "i'm s-sorry for neglecting you this week, i didn't mean to i-i just-", "kei, i'm not worried about that, i'm worried that you aren't taking care of yourself properly." you mumble, patting his back comfortingly. to which he shakes his head no."work has been too much recently, i can't sleep and i barely have time to even think. its just practice, interviews, practice, interviews i-i can't handle it all anymore, y/n." he sobbed into your shoulder, you were speechless at his vulnerability.

"kei,-", "but i can't stop now because that'll make me a failure and i don't want to let you down and the team too, i just want to make everyone proud but i think i'm falling behind." he cried, fiddling with the hem of your shirt. "kei, you could never let me down. actually, i think i've been letting you down recently, i don't tell you this enough but, i'm so so proud of you kei, so proud you don't even understand, i'm sorry for not expressing that enough to you. i understand that you feel as if you're falling behind but overworking and stressing yourself out isn't going to help you improve, kei, and i know you also know that."

"you're working yourself sick, kei and i can't stand here and continue to let that happen so you're taking a day off whether you like it or not. tomorrow will be a me and you day, how does that sound? i'll call your coach in the morning." honestly, you wouldn't have let him say no anyways, and he knew that so he just nodded his head. "look at me kei, you have to tell me when you're feeling overwhelmed. it's not good to keep things in like this, it's just like you tell me." he nods his head, but avoids eye contact, "and i'm not disappointed or upset at you, you know. but i can't read your mind, so please just tell me when things start to feel like they're crashing down on you 'kay? i'll help you just like you help me." you smile, he looks at you and nods, hugs you closer and whispers an "i love you" into your ear, which you return.

matsuwaka

— you knew his work was stressful and emotionally and mentally exhausting, so there were always worries in the back of your mind that he would become too overwhelmed, well today your worries became reality.

"welcome home issei." you called from the kitchen as your boyfriend walked through the door, though he offered you no response, which made you frown. "issei?-" you gasped when you felt a pair of strong arms sneak their way around your waist, "jesus, issei, you scared me!" you giggle placing your hands atop of his own, but you realized he was not laughing with you. "issei, baby?" concern laced in your tone as you maneuvered your way around to face him, "what's wrong baby?" you ask, taking his face in your hands to wipe at escaping tears.

"work was rough today." was all he said as he melted at the feeling of your thumbs running back and forth on his cheeks. "oh issei, i'm sorry." you mumbled, kissing the tip of his nose lightly, "is there anything i can do to help?" he didn't know why but something inside of him snapped when you asked him that, and sobs escaped his lips, he could only hide his face in the space between your neck and shoulder because for some reason he felt... ashamed to be crying in front of you like this. "please just hold me." he cried, so you did just that, shushimg him when his sobs got violent, rubbing your hand up and down his back soothingly.

the both of you stood there for a good 15 minutes before you spoke up after he had calmed down a bit, "is there anything you need to get off your chest? you don't have to tell me now or even at all but i want you to know that whatever is bothering you, you can tell me, anything at all. i know your job is mentally exhausting and honestly i dont even know how you do it but i dont want you thinking you have to carry the burden of it alone, okay? i'm so proud of you, so so so proud of you issei, i just wanted you to know that."

you felt him nod in the crook of your neck, a soft, "thank you." sounding shortly after, "of course." you responded, kissing his shoulder a few time.he wasn't sure when he would feel completely ready to get things off his chest but he felt loved knowing that you would always be there to comfort him, and for that he was forever grateful.

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redxblueihateloveyou · 3 years

Note

Who's aki yazaki?

She's character from the 1st novel, who was also on a swimming team. She was the one who said about rinharu "add the two of you together and divide by two, and it would be perfection." when Rin joked that Haru needs to borrow some of his sense of humor.

She was also the one who I was talking about in that post about the huge meaning of what Haru did in that FS scene. Bc of that:

Aki looked at Rin, as if thinking something over and suddenly said.

"Nanase-kun can do anyhing, right? That's why everyone relies on him, but it would really be something incredible for Nanase-kun to rely on anyone, wouldn't it?"

Rin for sure knew this was true. He had only just transferred, but the image that Rin had of Haruka was exactly that. But even if Haruka didn't have the will to go out and get involved with other people on his own, it wasn't like he was completely isolated. On the contrary, he was considered the most reliable person in their class, and when people relied on him, he always did his best to meet their expectations. This was the strange balance that people around Haruka had to maintain.

"He always holds back even when there are things that he really wants to say because he doesn't want to make people worry too much, don't you think? I'm sure he doesn't mean to hurt anyone or push anyone away. But I think it's not good for him to think that way so much. I think he needs to learn to be more assertive." Aki turned to Rin, looking as though she wanted to hear what he thought.

For a moment Rin thought about how Haru's character would fit his. Opposite to him this guy never left things to a chance. And all he could think right now is how much he wanted to swim in a relay with him. Rin laughed awkwardly, trying to joke.

"I was thinking the same thing. That guy has no sense of humor. He should learn by watching me, don't you think?" he said, never really answering her question.

Aki laughed a bit at his words. "It's true. Add the two of you together and divide by two, and it would be perfect."

"Are you trying to say I'm not as good by myself?"

Aki laughed even harder, confirming his words.

"No, no, of course, I'm not. Just really want to see Nanase-kun with you."

She was trying to help them a lot, trying to get Haru to talk about his feelings about the relay and Rin.

Her scarf flew away once and Haru noticed it in a river, so being Haru he decided to retrieve it even tho he was sick and that got him into hospital. Then he got angry at himself for making everyone worried and apologized to her a lot for getting it back for her and being a trouble for everyone lol. She always thought that out of everyone Rin is the only one, who's gonna be given the miracle of Haru allowing him to help him, so she rolled from there haha.

Btw you know I've always thought about her character a lot while reading. And with the fact that Makoto in the novels is this awful spineless goo, that I couldn't handle and that there he doesn't get Haru like at all, I've always thought that in the anime I felt like they kinda tranferred some of her qualities to anime-Makoto while making it. Btw in the novel there were moments like when she offered Haru a hand from the pool and it gave him Makoto vibes. But she was very good at reading him and just somehow knew that Rin was the one who could help him. Makoto in the book didn't get anything really.

And holy fuck they inserted too much easter eggs from the novel this time to indulge us, true fans haha. Like you don't even have to work much to get everything, we're all basically in the war flashbacks rn lol.

#answered #anonymous #rinharu #free!#harurin #nanase haruka #rin matsuoka

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milazka · 4 years

Text

August twelve — Rudy Pankow

image found on pinterest

summary: the one where it’s your boyfriend’s birthday and you planned an amazing day for him.

request: yes

content: fluff

author’s note: i didn’t add a smut part because i feel like i’m only writing smutty imagines and i needed to write a fluffy one with this hottie! my requests are open and you can find my masterlist at the end of this post if you feel like reading more of my stuff!

warnings: most of my stories may contain mature themes such as swearing, underage drinking, substance abuse, sexual language and scenes, fights and more. also, i do not intend to be offensive towards anyone who reads this blog, if anything written can be perceived as hurtful to any community or person, i apologize, it was never my purpose while writing it.

word count: 1700.

She was standing in the frame of the door, her pretty eyes observing the young man lying on the bed, his body half covered by the grey blanket. His chest was rising at a peaceful rate with no sign of trouble apparent on his angel face. A little smile slipped over her rosy lips as she thought about how lucky she was that this man was still a part of her life, twenty years later. Both born in Ketchikan, Alaska, just a few months apart, Rudy and her had grown up as a duo. hey did everything together. Rarely did you ever saw one without the other; she was the Bonnie to his Clyde and nothing in the world could have changed that. Over the years, they both had a few meaningless relationships, and they never lasted long. The girls were envious of his closeness with Y/n while the boys were quick to understand that she would never look at them the way she looked at Rudy; he was her person, but she hadn't figured it out yet. It was on a cold December afternoon, a few days before the New Year’s eve, that they exchanged their first kiss, their lips frozen by the Alaskan winter, both seated by the burning fire in the chimney. Five years later and in a much warmer town, she was looking at her sleepy boyfriend with the same sparks in her eyes.

“You're staring at my butt, aren't ya?”

Rudy's sleepy voice took her out of her thoughts as she laughed. His eyes were half opened and he had pillow marks all over his right cheek. His disheveled blond hair was falling out in front of his pretty ocean colored eyes. She carefully made her way to the bed, trying not to knock over the breakfast tray she was holding with both hands.

“I made you waffles”

“The blueberry ones?” he asked with his childish voice and she nodded. “For what occasion?”

“It’s your birthday, remember?” she chuckled as she watched his facial expression change from confused to excited. He has always loved his birthday, especially since the day she became his girlfriend and always planned a day full of surprises for him. Rudy grasped her blue sweater sleeve and lured her towards him to kiss her lips tenderly.

“Mmm you taste like maple syrup.”

“I may or may not have already eaten a waffle while cooking them,” she smiled, tilting her head to the side to give him her guilty puppy eyes, making him fall more in love with her. “I planned the whole day so you better start eating your waffles now because we’re leaving in an hour.”

“Did I ever tell you you're the best girlfriend?” he mumbled with his mouth full of waffles dipped in maple syrup.

“Many times, but I'll never get tired of hearing you say it, lover boy.”

“Good, because with such a good waffles recipe, you're stuck with me for a while, pretty girl!”

─── °• ❀ ───

Chase picked them up around eight pm in front of their apartment with his black truck, the rest of the cast were already at the the Pate’s house, decorating and preparing the cake. She had blindfolded his boyfriend and he kept asking where they were going every single minute of the trip like a child. He had done the same thing a few months ago when she took him skydiving for the first time, it was almost routine for her to hear him complain in the back of the car.

“Stop asking, you big baby!” she said to him, turning her upper body toward the back of the car where he was seated. “It’s a surprise, I’m not gonna ruin it because you can't wait for a few minutes.”

He gave her his pouting face and crossed his arms on his chest, knowing she would not say a word to him about it even if he tried harder. A few minutes later, Chase parked his truck next to Drew's car. She walked to the left side of the car to opened Rudy's door, quickly kissing him on the lips and automatically causing a big smile to cover his pouty face. She guided him to the backyard with Chase’s help. He opened the back yard gate, letting them pass in front of him before closing it back so Lilah's dog would not run away like he did multiple times when they filmed the first season of the show. All the cast members were silently gathered in front of a multicoloured cloud of balloons and were holding a sign that said 'Happy birthday, Rudy!'

“Okay, you can take your bandana off!” she said to his ear and he could feel the excitement in her voice.

Slowly, he pulled his blindfold down and a wide smile slipped on his lips at the sight of all his friends singing happy birthday to him. He squeezed his girlfriend's hand while his friends were still singing and she couldn't help but let a few tears of joy run down her cheeks when she saw him so touched by the surprise she had planned for him.

“Thank you for all of this, baby. I love you more and more everyday my sweet girl,” he whispered to her ear before leaning down to kiss her soft lips that tastes like caramel due to the caramel macchiato she drank in the car.

“I’m happy you’re happy, lover boy,” she said to him as he pressed his cheek against her palm, a smile at the corner of his lips. “Now, go hug your friends!”

─── °• ❀ ───

After her and Rudy hugged and thanked everyone, they all swapped their clothes for bathing suits that would come in handy during their little boat trip of the afternoon. Jonas had let them borrow his boat, taking advantage of the fact that his children were with them to spend a day with his wife at the spa. Drew was at the helm of the boat while the others were all sitting on the benches, toasting to Rudy's birthday just before Chase announced that they were far enough away from the shore to put the tube in the water. JD, Rudy and Y/n were the first ones to shotgun a spot on the pneumatic tyre.

“Babe? Can you help with the zipper?” Rudy asked his girlfriend, frowning completely clueless.

“He’s twenty-two and still needs his girlfriend to zip his life jacket,” Jonathan mocked him, resulting in him being pushed in the water by a proudly smirking Rudy who quickly followed him the water, grabbing Y/n by the waist to take her with him. She surfaced quickly thanks to her life jacket, clearing her face of wet hair and sending a wince at her boyfriend. They all swam to the tube, splashing each other on purpose along the way. Rudy climbed aboard first and reached out his hand to Y/n to help her climb up. She sat between him and Jonathan, clutching a black rubber handle with one hand while the other was firmly intertwined with her boyfriend's hand.

“Are you ready?” yelled drew, turning his upper body toward the back of the boat, his right hand resting on the wheel.

“Aye aye, Captain!” Rudy screamed back and the boat begun to pick up speed.

The water was splashing back in their faces and they could barely keep their eyes open, but they couldn't help smiling stupidly. The three of them let out cries of surprise and laughter every time they jumped a wave and almost got ejected from the tube. They could see Madison and Chase laughing at them while Madelyn filmed them for her next tomfoolery instagram post. Drew took a sharp right turn, dropping Y/n and JD on Rudy. She firmly grabbed her boyfriend's bicep after she lost her grip on the handle and pushed JD back up with her shoulder so he could settle back into his seat. Just when they thought Drew was done messing with them, he suddenly accelerated, ejecting them out of the tube like three little rockets.

“You fucker!” Rudy shouted to his friend, laughing before turning towards his girlfriend. “You okay baby?”

“All good and still in one piece!” she replied, swimming back to the boat where Deion gave her a hand to climb up. A few seconds later, she felt a towel being placed on her shoulders and two arms wrapped around her waist. She smiled, turning her head to meet the face of her boyfriend who had pressed his chin to her shoulder. He placed a few kisses on her neck, making her squirm under his grip from the tickling of his lips against her wet skin.

“Look at them! You guys are so cute,” whined Lilah, taking a picture of them. Y/n blushed while Rudy smiled proudly. “Can you send me the picture? I'm gonna post it on instagram.” rudy said as he grabbed his phone and sat on one of the benches while Chase and Madelyn were putting on their life jackets. She sat next to him, resting her head on his shoulder and playing with the hem of his boarding shorts, a gift she gave him for his birthday last year, right before he started shooting for Outer Banks. He quickly wrote a caption and posted the photo of them on his instagram, getting hundred of likes and comments only a few seconds after.

‘My sweet girl. Thanks for the amazing birthday surprise! Love you to the moon and back, my love.’

“I love you too, baby,” she cupped his face with her palms and kissed his salty lips. “Oh, before I forgot,” she brought her face close to his and took her sensual innocent voice. “Since it’s your birthday, I’m gonna let you do whatever you wanna do to me tonight.”

His eyes opened widely and he cleared his throat. “Fuck, you’re gonna be the death of me, pretty girl,” he kissed her, nibbling at her bottom lip. “I’m gonna please you so much tonight that you’re gonna beg me to stop.”

She smirked at him and grazed his crotch with her fingertips. “I look forward to it.”

─── °• ❀ ───

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neptunetheplanet7 · 3 years

Text

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 - 𝐮𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐝 𝐯𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐨𝐫

DM ME IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE PUT ON THE TAGLIST!!

;mikasa ackerman x fem!lesbian!reader

;modern au, band au

word count: 2.0k

warnings: swearing, zeke

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Just as you were about to say something else to Mikasa, the doorbell rang, interrupting the moment. She let go of your hair and stood at her full height.

"Are you expecting anyone?" She asked.

"No, we're not." With confusion evident on your face, you got off the stool and lightly kicked it under the counter.

Your eyebrows knitted together as you made your way to the front door.

On the other side of the glass, you saw a blond bearded man struggling to hold around five suitcases. He noticed you reaching for the door handle and grinned widely.

"Surprise!" He shouted and dropped his luggage on the marble floor when the door was fully opened. He raised his arms and tried to hug you. Scowling, you evaded his embrace.

"Zeke, what the hell are you doing here?" Your grip on the door tightened with every word.

Zeke frowned. "Do I need a reason to visit my sister?"

You rolled your eyes. "I'm not your sister. And typically, yes, you would."

"Okay, well, you're like my sister." He paused to adjust his glasses. "Have you forgotten? Eren's twenty-second is coming up. There's so much to do!" His excited facade was transparent to you.

"You didn't care about his twenty-first. Or his twentieth, for that matter. What's the sudden interest in your brother's life?" You raised an eyebrow as he visibly grew nervous.

"Well, you see, uh-" He twiddled his thumbs and your eyes narrowed. "Here's the thing-"

"Spit it out, Zeke." Mikasa cut him off when she rounded the corner. She crossed her arms as she leaned against the staircase railing.

"Mikasa! I didn't know you were back!" Zeke made rapid hand gestures toward her, eager to change the subject.

"I didn't know you were back, either. At least I gave a warning," she uttered, earning an incredulous look from the blond.

"Zeke, why are you here?" you continued.

His eyes briefly shifted to a houseplant before training back on you. "What if I told you I'm not allowed in the state of Nebraska?" He gave you a meek smile and your jaw dropped.

Mikasa snorted. "What the hell did you do in Nebraska?"

"Nothing!" he assured. "It's just that I may or may not be several million dollars in debt and on the run from the police." He looked down at his muddy boots in shame.

"You're WHAT?" You gaped at him. You'd known Zeke long enough to have it figured out that he brought trouble wherever he went but he was usually careful enough not to get banned from a state.

"It's not as bad as you think! I just got into a little quarrel with some guys. Everything is fine. Just let me stay here for a while," he said sheepishly.

"I am not letting a fugitive stay in my home!" you exclaimed.

"I'm not a fugitive! There's no need to use terms like that!"

"You're banned from Nebraska! I'll call you whatever I want!"

"What's all the commotion about?" Eren was walking down the stairs when he saw his older brother at the door. His mouth dropped open and he gripped the railing beside him. "Zeke?!"

"Why didn't you tell me your brother was in town?" You glared up at him.

"Because I didn't know!" He started to flail his arms around while simultaneously trying to make sense of the situation.

"Hey, little brother. Can I sleep in your room?"

"No!"

"Zeke's not allowed in Nebraska," Mikasa informed.

"What?!" Eren clutched the railing with one hand and his head with the other whilst continuing his descent down the stairs. "What even is Nebraska?" he mumbled with wide eyes.

"Doesn't matter. I wanna know how he managed to be banned from it." You glowered at the man in front of you.

"Y/n, will you please let me inside? It's cold even in March, you know." Zeke pleaded and pretended to shiver.

You glanced back at Eren for a sign of his approval. The house was yours, but Zeke was his brother. It wasn't like this was the first time he needed to stay over, anyway. Unlike mere seconds before, he now held a serious expression. He nodded at you and beckoned for Zeke to follow him.

He heaved a relieved sigh and nearly tackled you with a hug. "Thank you so much, Y/n! You won't regret this, I promise."

It felt like your bones were being crushed by his weight as your face was pushed up against his jacket. He reeked of an old car. "Okay, get off me, old man!" Your voice was muffled as you tried to push him away. He backed up and brushed your shoulders off before grabbing his luggage and disappeared into the basement with his younger brother.

You sighed heavily and plopped down on the stairs. "He got mud all over my floors. I just cleaned them too." Your head fell into your hands as you stressed over Zeke's sudden arrival. As if there wasn't enough on your plate already.

Mikasa laughed quietly as she draped an arm around your shoulders and sat down beside you. The sudden contact made your ears burn red. "Any particular reason for cleaning?" she hinted teasingly.

You lifted your head as you apprehensively stammered out a poor explanation.

She laughed at you again and you couldn't help but wonder if it's always been that easy to make her laugh. You thought about it for a moment and concluded to yourself that it didn't matter what made her laugh, as long as you got to hear it.

A dreamy smile spread across your face as you watched how her newly short hair fell in front of her eyes when she laughed like that.

It seemed she noticed your thoughtful gaze because she tucked the hair behind her ear and peered down at you. "What are you looking at?" she whispered.

"You."

The sound of footsteps resounded from the stairs behind you. "Woah, I hope I'm not interrupting anything," Jean smirked when he saw how close you and Mikasa were. He parted the two of you by removing Mikasa's arm so he could walk in between.

Your face grew red when you realized what you had said to her and it grew even redder when you noticed Mikasa had a similar amount of color dusting her cheeks.

"Heads up, I'm going to Marco's right now so if anyone asks that's where I'll be." He corrected the slight wrinkles in his new shirt and grabbed his keys from the key-hook.

Mikasa was quick to add to his words. "It's nice to see you and Marco are still going strong. I'm happy for you, Jean, really." She smiled up at him honestly.

Jean's tinted cheeks gave away his embarrassment. "Oh, thanks. Uh, I'm also really happy for, um, whatever you guys have going on." He grinned but quickly covered his mouth when he saw a look of distress flash across your face. "Uh, sorry, I have to go now. See you guys later." He mumbled another apology and turned sharply on his heel to make a mad dash at the front door.

Mikasa chuckled and shook her head. "He can be such a dork sometimes," she said when the door closed behind him.

"That's true," you admitted softly. You were a little displeased that she kept her arm in her lap instead of wrapping it around you again now that Jean had vanished.

"I take it Zeke's kept up with his habits since I've been gone?" she assumed.

An exasperated sigh left your lips. "He shows up at least once or twice a year wanting to stay. He always owes somebody money but, as far as I know, this is the first time he's been permanently banned from a state. I don't love letting criminals in my household but you know how Eren gets."

"I see. I do remember how angry he'd get with us when we wanted Zeke to leave," she recalled dejectedly.

"I just wish he wouldn't get his hopes up every time he asks to stay." You frowned and tapped your fingers against the wooden stair you sat on.

"I hope he can stay long enough for Eren's twenty-second. It'd be nice if he could spend his birthday with him."

"That can be arranged." You ran a shaky hand through your hair. "Will you be okay at a party for him?" you inquired timidly. Considering what happened the last time she was at a party, you felt the need to know if she'd be alright with going since Eren's birthday was rapidly approaching.

Mikasa was surprised by the question. "Of course I will be. Y/n, you know I'm over what happened. You don't have to worry about what I think. It's cute you care, though." She squeezed your shoulder gently and gave you a reassuring smile.

Before you could respond, she stood from her position next to you and started up the stairs. "I'm gonna get changed. I'll see you later."

When she was out of your sight, you gave a final weighted sigh. You had to figure out what you were going to do with Zeke. The feelings that came with Mikasa being home already clouded your mind, not to mention the stress of Hitch on your ass as well.

For Eren's sake, Zeke should stay for a little bit. Mikasa suggested he should leave once Eren's birthday passes and that made sense. However, that would mean he'd be living in your house for two weeks.

You groaned and leaned back. There was only one person who would know how to help. You spun around and scrambled up the creaky stairs.

Facing the office door, you opened it and watched Armin move hastily to turn off their monitor.

"What are you doing?" You raised an eyebrow and leaned on the doorframe.

"Important research." He swiveled the chair to face you and rested his arms in his lap.

"Yeah, right," you snickered. "Did you know Zeke is here?"

Armin nodded. "I overheard everything. It's not like you people are quiet."

"Okay, so what should I do about it?" Moving to sit on the couch, you placed your hands on the cushions under you.

They shrugged. "I don't know. What should you do about it?"

"Come on, Armin. I came in here because I need your help with this." You sent him a worried glance.

"Y/n, at the end of the day, this is your house. You decide who stays and who doesn't. If you want him here, let him stay. If you don't, kick him out."

He couldn't just ignore the obvious issue present. "But what about Eren?"

"What about him? Eren respects you more than he respects anyone else. He wouldn't want to do something if you weren't comfortable with it. The guy trusts you with his life." He spoke like the answer was so clear.

You pursed your lips and thought over what they said. "I don't want to hurt him, though."

He wore a compassionate smile. "None of us do, but the difference between us is that he would listen to you. So, with that said, how long will you let Zeke stay?"

You looked down at your hands and thought back to your conversation with Mikasa and about the conversation you just had with the man across from you. "He can stay until Eren's birthday party. When that's passed, he'll have to leave."

When you looked up, you noticed Armin was still smiling at you. "I knew you'd make a good decision."

"I always do, don't I?" You joked.

He snorted and adjusted his chair to face his computer again. "You wouldn't be able to without me."

You feigned offense and stood up. "You're too cruel."

"Sure I am. Now leave my office, peasant. I'm busy." He waved you away with a dramatic flair of his hand.

You scoffed. "I bet you don't have actual work to do and you're just being a freak on the internet, like usual."

He flipped you off. "If you don't leave I'll have to use brute force."

"Whatever, whatever, Armeen, don't be harsh." You sauntered out of the office before he could scold you about the nickname.

posted: 8/31/21

no edits, reposts, or modification to my work by anyone other than me.

#aot fanfiction #band au #mikasa ackerman #mikasa x reader #mikasa x you #modern au #snk fanfiction #attack on titan

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girlwithshipsshitshow · 4 years

Conversation

Part 13

Misaki walked into Usagi's room with a huge grin on his face he was in a great mood, Usagi was coming home today, he was feeling great about his exams, he was just in a really good mood.

Aikawa: (Sitting on the couch, on her computer). Wow, what are you so happy about?

Misaki: (Walking over to the chair beside Usagi's bed). Uh, today's just a good day.

Usagi: Misaki, don't be so modest, he passed his exam with flying colors, (Looks up at Misaki grinning), and i'm so proud of him.

Misaki: (Blushes) Usagi. (Sits down, placing bag on the floor beside him). Thank you. (grabs Usagi's hand).

Takahiro: Misaki, Congrats on passing your exam.

Misaki: Thank you Takahiro.

Takahiro: And, I also want to apologize for being so upset about your relationship with Usagi-san, I didn't understand, but he explained everything to me.

Misaki: I thought I made it clear before.

Takahiro: Maybe you did, but I didn't want to listen.

Misaki: Well I appreciate you accepting our relationship.

Takahiro: I'm trying.

Usagi: Try harder.

Takahiro: Right, so do you think you guys are going to have kids?

Misaki: (Glances at Usagi and raises an eyebrow).

Usagi: (Shakes head), He asked me the same question.

Misaki: Takahiro, I think we should just focus on the fact that we just got engaged first. Plus Usagi doesn't like kids.

Usagi: (Gasps), that is so not true.

Misaki: Remember the last time we had to babysit Mahiro?

Usagi: I was nice to him.

Misaki: You're jealous of him because I had to watch him and couldn't hang out with you.

Usagi: If we had our own kids I wouldn't do that.

Misaki: I would need you to prove that first.

Aikawa: Wait, if you have kids can I be the surrogate?

Usagi: Sure!

Misaki: (Runs hands over face). Nobody's having kids! We just got engaged, and I still have to graduate.

Aikawa: And I have a date!

(They all look at her)

Aikawa: What?, I'm just trying to change the subject.

Misaki: Where are you going?

Aikawa: Um, I think IMI.

Usagi: Aw, That's where we always go. (Looks at Misaki with heart eyes). It can be expensive though.

Misaki: It's only expensive because you rent out the whole balcony!

Usagi: I just want us to have a nice time.

Misaki: I have a nice time when I'm with you no matter what.

Usagi: (Kisses Misaki's Knuckles), I know.

Misaki: (Grins), So you don't always have to try so hard love.

Usagi: I know, but I'm not done trying to impress you.

Misaki: (Blushes), Stop.

Rose: (walks in grinning with papers in her hand) Okay Akihiko, you are all set to go, someone will be up here with a wheelchair shortly to escort you out of the hospital so make sure you have all your stuff. I need to take your IVs out. (Walks over to Usagi and Unhooks everything attached to him). Okay, you're all set.

Usagi: YES I'M FREEEE (laughs)

Rose: (Nods and turns to Aikawa) And you, are you ready for our date?

Aikawa: Um, I can be I'm not dressed though, I know that place has a dress code.

Rose: That's okay, my place is close to here, you're about my size, we can change there.

Aikawa: (Blushes) Um, yeah sure. That works.

Rose: Okay, I have to go clock out, but i'll be back in about five minutes.

Aikawa: Yeah, O-okay.

Rose: (Winks at Aikawa and heads out)

Aikawa: (Rushes over to Misaki who is gathering Usagi's stuff.) Misaki, What do I! I'm so nervous I could puke, I've never been on a date before help me.

Misaki: We'll I'm glad you came to me, I know exactly what to do, I'm an expert.

Usagi: (Stifles a laugh).

Misaki: Don't listen to him. (Places Usagi's stuff in a bag).

Aikawa: No, I'm asking you because you were probably really nervous for your first date with Akihiko.

Miksai: Oh, yeah. I was.

Aikawa: And how did you handle it?

Misaki: (Blushes), Uh, Not very well if remember right.

Usagi: (stands up and walks over to Misaki wrapping his arms around him).

Misaki: Usagi, you should be resting.

Usagi: I've been resting enough, besides the doctor said I should be up and walking around. Aikawa, don't listen to him, yeah he was nervous on our first date, but he did fine.

Aikawa: What was it like?

Usagi: I picked him up from school.

Misaki: Embarrassing at the time, but super sweet looking back at it.

Usagi: We hung out at the beach, went to the movies, went shopping-

Misaki: He made me get a suit because of the dress code thing.

Usagi: He looked so cute in it because the suit was a little to big, but you know he always looks cute. (Kisses Misaki's Cheek).

Misaki: (Blushes) Usagi.

Usagi: It's true. Uh and then we went to dinner and that was really nice, except unfortunately that's where he met Isaka.

Misaki: Yeah, that was fun.

Aikawa: How did that go.

Usagi: He asked why I was dating Misaki after rejecting him many times. (scoffs)

Misaki: I didn't like that, it was embarrassing. He tried telling me stuff about Usagi's childhood like he knew I didn't know.

Usagi: Yea, it's okay we talked it on the ferris wheel.

Misaki: Yeah, it was beautiful.

Aikawa: Is that where the Idea for the ferris wheel scene came from?

Misaki: (Blushes) Kinda

Aikawa: So you!

Usagi: Not on the ferris wheel, at home.

Aikawa: Are you going to add an engagement to the series?

Usagi: No

Misaki: (Turns to face Usagi), Wait really?

Usagi: No, I feel like that would be way to personal.

Misaki: Usagi, (Reaches up, and brushes hair out of Usagi's eyes), You can write it if you want, only if you want to progress the fake story based on us along.

Usagi: (Grins) I'll think about it. But I already have four turned in.

Misaki: I know, I'm just letting you know that I'm okay with it.

Usagi: Thank you Misaki. (Leans down to kiss him.)

Misaki: (Pulls away) Usagi, I-

Usagi: (Smirks) Yeah, I know. We should get the rest of our things together.

Misaki: Yeah.

Takahiro: Um, do you guys need any help?

Misaki: No, you can go home.

Takahiro: Usagi-san?

Usagi: Go home, you have a family, we've been keeping you away from them long enough.

Takahiro: Are you sure?

Usagi: Yes, I have Misaki, I'm good..

Takahiro: Okay, see you Usagi-san, Misaki can I see you in the hall for a second?

Misaki: (Glaces at usagi) Uh, sure. (Follows Takahiro into the hall, leans against the wall). Whats up.

Takahiro: Look, Usag-

Misaki: Usagi can be stubborn? I know, He's fine. Go home to your family.

Takahiro: (Sighs), I'm having trouble letting go, my baby brother is growing up and has is own family.

Misaki: Yeah, Usagi's my family, and I have to take care of him, the doctor said it would only be about a week, he'll be okay, so if you don't mind, I have to go take care of my family, you should take care of yours. (Turns to leave).

Takahiro: Misaki, are we going to get pass this.

Misaki: (Turns head to face him) I don't know, you were the one who made me feel like crap the night we told you.

Takahiro: I- I don't remember that.

Misaki: I do, and i tried to forget, but you haven't made it easy.

(A few months ago, outside Takahiro's house. Usagi is holding Misaki's hand tightly, he can feel the nerves racing throughout his whole body).

Usagi: Misaki, we don't have to do this.

Misaki: We do, because I graduate in a few months, and if we don't tell him, I-I am afraid of what might happen if I have to move out.

Usagi: (Caresses Misaki's cheek) I'm never letting you go.

Misaki: (Smiles) I know, and I believe that our relationship is strong enough to get through anything, but I can't imagine not living with you. (Wraps his arms around Usagi).

Usagi: (Tightly holds Misaki) I know, I love you.

Misaki: (Tearly) I love you too.

Usagi: (Pulls away, wiping a tear away from Misaki's cheek), Okay, we need to composes ourselves and go in.

Misaki: (Nods), Yeah, you ready.

Usagi: Yep. (Knocks on door).

(After dinner the three of them sit on the couch sipping tea).

Misaki: So thanks for dinner.

Usagi: Yeah, it was great.

Takahiro: I'm glad you enjoyed, sorry Mahiro and Manami couldn't be here, she cooked dinner but then said something come up.

Usagi: Oh, that's okay, we actually have something we want to discusses.

Takahiro: (sighs, takes a sip of tea), I still think living together when Misaki graduates is a bad idea.

Misaki: I want to stay with him.

Takahiro: We had an agreement.

Misaki: I know, but I'm an adult, why can't I have say in this.

Takahiro: Why do you want to stay with him so badly?

Misaki: Because, (glaces at Usagi

who slightly nod), I- I- (Clears throat, starts to sweat), I'm in love with him, I love Usagi.

Takahiro: (Gasp, drops tea cup, it shatters). No, when did this happen? (Looks at Usagi), Do you know about this?

Usagi: (Looks at him like he's an idiot) Of course I know, I'm in love with him too. (Grabs Misaki's hand), Look Misaki and I have kinda been dating for four years.

Takahiro: WHAT! FOUR YEARS! FOUR FUCKING YEARS! HAVE YOU BEEN TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY BABY BROTHER?! (slaps Usagi's face,Usagi flenches).

Misaki: Usagi! (Runs thumb across his face) WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU. usagi are you okay?

Usagi: (Nods), Yeah I'm okay.

Takahiro: HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO MY BROTHER?

Misaki: He didn't do anything to me, we're in love.

Takahiro: I DON'T BELIEVE YOU!

Usagi: Takahiro, calm down. It's not what you think.

Takahiro: WHAT I THINK IS, YOU'VE BEEN TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY BROTHER FOR YEARS, AND HE'S SCARED AND HE DOESN'T REALLY LOVE YOU!

Miksai: (Gasps), How could you say that? You know how hard it is for me to open up and get close to somebody, and Usagi is the first person i've ever let me walls down too, let alone fallen in love with, and you think this is a big joke, or that it's fake? Do you have any idea how hard this was to tell you that i've fallen in love with your best friend? Do you know how long we've wanted to tell you but couldn't, we thought you would be shocked but we didn't know you would react like this. (Stands up, heads to door) I want to go home. Usagi?

Usagi: Yeah, we should go. (Stands) I- I am so, sorry, but I'm so in love with your brother. Misaki means everything to me, and I would never hurt him.

Misaki: Usagi!

Usagi: Coming!

(Present)

Takahiro: I don't remember that.

Misaki: Do you remember showing up at our house a few days later?

(A few months ago)

(Usagi and Misaki are at home on the couch watching TV, Misaki's head is resting in Usagi's lap, he's stroking Misaki's hair.

Misaki: Do you think he'll ever approve?

Usagi: I don't know, I'm sorry I ruined your relationship with him.

Misaki: (Scoffs) This was his fault, what about your relationship with him?

Usagi: As long as I have you, I don't care, I only want you Misaki.

(The doorbell rings, Usagi gets up to get it).

Usagi: Misaki, it's Takahiro, should I let him in?

Misaki: (Sighs) I think you should, we should probably talk.

(Takahiro enters, a gloomy aura surrounds him)

Takahiro: Can I talk to you guys?

(Misaki and Usagi sit on the couch nervously holding hands, Takahiro sits on the other couch, his arms crossed).

Misaki: Talk

Takahiro: I thought about it, I reacted awfully to you guys coming out to me, It must've been really hard.

Misaki: Yeah, it was.

Takahiro: I'm sorry for the way I acted, It's going to take some time for me to app- get used to this. I don't want this to ruin the relationship i have with you guys.

Misaki: It's going to take some time for me.

Usagi: Thank you for coming over, and telling us that.

Takahiro: Are we good?

Usagi: You accused me of forcing Misaki into this relationships.

Takahiro: We'll It's just I know how you can be.

Miskai: If i didn't want to be with him, I wouldn't be with him.

Usagi: He's right.

Takahiro: So this is an equal partnership?

Usagi, Misaki: Yes!

Takahiro: okay, we'll I am going to go, I still need time. Goodbye. (exits).

Misaki: He's never going to approve of us Usagi.

Usagi: (Pulls Misaki into a hug) Are you okay with that?

Misaki: I just want you.

Usagi: And I just want you.

(Present)

Takahiro: I'm okay with it now, or at least i'm starting to be.

Misaki: (leans against the wall). So tell me why you made such a big deal, why did you hate the idea of us being together?

Takahiro: I guess, the idea of you growing up scared me, and when I saw that you found someone who could take care of you that wasn't me it scared me, Plus Usagi-san is my best friend and he's dating my little brother, that kinda bugged me. But then the way he talked about you a few hours ago, I finally realized that he truly loves you, like he's crazy about you. I didn't understand before, Misaki you seem so happy, I've never seem you that way, not since before our parents died. I'm really happy you've found someone who you feel this way about, and that this person feels the same way about you, no wonder Usagi-san can deal with you living with him.

Misaki: He makes me so fucking happy Takahiro.

Takahiro: I know that now. I'm sorry I was such an asshole about it.

Misaki: (Sighs) I accept your apology. (Steps forward to hug Takahiro).

Takahiro: (Hugs Misaki) I love you bro

Misaki: I love you too.

Takahiro: Look, i'm going to go spend time with my family, you should go take care of yours.

Misaki: Okay.

Takahiro: And, call me when you guys get home, and if you need anything.

Misaki: I will, I promise.(Walks back into Usagi's room)

Aikawa: we'll everything is packed up. (Aikawa smiles at Misaki and hands him his phone).

Usagi: If the stupid wheelchair was here we could go. (He groans and spins around on the reclining chair).

Misaki: Are you sure you got everything?

Usagi: Yes

Misaki: Really?

Aikawa: Yes, but you can check if it makes you feel better.

Misaki: (Checks around room, finds Usagi's charger and laptop charger).

Aikawa: Okay so we missed two things.

Misaki: Two important things.

Rose: (Walks in, flushed) sorry guys, I had to take of something.

Aikawa: Oh, that's okay. Ready to go? (Grabs her stuff)

Rose: Yeah. the discharge Nurse should be here soon, (Grabs Aikawa's hand). I'll see you guys later.

Usagi: Bye, thank you so much.

Misaki: (singsong) Have funnnn.

Aikawa: Thanks.

(The two girls walk out hand in hand grinning and Blushing).

Usagi: So, I want to leave.

Misaki: Relax Usagi, we can leave soon.

Usagi: (Whining) I wanna leave nowwww

Misaki: (Rolls his eyes, Places hands on Usagi's shoulders) How old are you?

Usagi: I'm thirty-two

Misaki: Oh, so you're not a two year old.

Usagi: Shut up!

(Discharge nurse walks in with wheelchair)

DN: Alright, sorry about that, are we all set to leave?

Usagi: (Jumps up) Yes!

Misaki: Babe, be careful.

Usagi: Sorry, I'm just happy, we get to go home!

Misaki: (Rolls eyes, grabs his bag and Usagi's double checks room, grabs the keys and heads out the door).

(Rose Holds a sleeveless red dress up to herself in front of her full length mirror, Eri Aikawa Nervously sits on the bed watching her, they have both showered, and have put their hair up in messy buns, their makeup is done naturally and now they were picking out dresses, they wore robes while deciding what to wear).

Rose: What do you think?

Eri : Well, the red really brings out your hazel eyes, and your olive skin.

Rose: Sooo

Eri: (Chuckles) Go with the red.

Rose: Okay, now shoes?

Eri: (Hops off bed) Oh, I saw these black knee high boots in your closet, pick those.

Rose: Oh perfect.

(Eri walks into Rose's closet, grabs the boots and hands them to her, Rose grabs them, takes off her robe revealing a matching lacy black lingerie set, Eri blushes).

Rose: Oh, I hope it's okay that I change front of you.

Eri: Oh (Blushes harder) Yeah no, it's fine.

Rose: (steps into dress) Hey, can you zip me up?

Eri: OH! Yeah sure. (Walks over to Rose and zips up her dress, her skin is warm, and flawless. Rose is stunning).

Rose: Eri?

Eri: Yeah?

Rose: (Smirks) Is everything okay?

Eri: Oh, (Takes hands off Rose's back) Yeah, sorry.

Rose: Okay, now for you, I think a blue dress.

Eri: Why?

Rose: (Brings hand up to Eri's face, runs thumb under her eye). You have these beautiful, grey blue eyes, a blue dress will really make them pop. I have the perfect dress. (Smiles, walks around Eri and goes into closet pulling out a high-low navy blue dress, it was sleeveless, and sparked. she looked around and found ankle high laced peep toe boots with a chunky heel.) Perfect. (She walked out of the closet, grinning) Okay, this will look perfect on you.

Eri: (Blushes, eyes wided) Uh, I don't think so.

Rose: Yes, take your robe off.

Eri: No, I don't have pretty underwear sets like you.

Rose: (Laughs) Eri, who cares, (Whispers) It's just us here, You're beautiful.

Eri: O-O-Okay. (Slides Robe off, revleing a black push-up bra and matching panties, Blushes).

Rose: See, You're Beautiful. Now, but this dress on. (Tosses dress at Eri).

Eri: Are you sure.

Rose: Eri, babe you are amazing, put it on now, or I will force it on you.

Eri: (Eyes grow wide) Okay, god. (Pulls dress on).

Rose: Here, i'll zip you up.

Eri: Okay.

Rose: (Jumps over to Eri, zips up her dress, placing hands on her shoulders) Look, (Turns her towards the mirror) You're a babe.

Eri: I do look good.

Rose: Yeah! see.

Eri: (Looks at phone, its seven-thirty) Crap, we need to put our shoes on and get out of here, don't we have reservations at eight?

Rose: Yeah, come on. (They pull their boots on and head out the door).

(Misaki and Usagi walk into their house, Misaki helping Usagi to the couch, he’d gotten sleepy on the ride home and Hardly made it up to their home).

Misaki: okay, just rest for a little while, and we can eat later.

Usagi: will you lay down with me?

Misaki: yeah?

Usagi: please, I know we weren’t in the hospital long, but I miss holding you in my arms.

Misaki: (smirks) yeah, but no funny business, your doctor said no sex for two weeks.

Usagi: I know, I know. I just want to cuddle.

Misaki: okay. (Grabs cover, walks over to Usagi and falls into his arms).

Usagi:(places chin on Misaki’s head, wraps arms tightly around him), this is nice.

Misaki: (wraps arms around Usagi’s arms, lacing his fingers through his). Yeah it is, I really missed being wrapped in your arms.

Usagi: I missed this too. (Yawns)

Misaki: (smiles and Closes his eyes, he was exhausted as well but wanted to make sure Usagi was okay, but he could tell by Usagi’s steady breathing that he was sleeping). *thinking* I wonder how Aikawa is doing on her date?

(Rose and Eri sit on the balcony overlooking the city of Tokyo, it was a beautiful evening and they were both filled with nerves, although Rose was better at hiding it).

Eri: Wow, it's so pretty here, this is the spot where Misaki and Akihiko always sit, although Akihiko always rents out this whole space, Misaki always complains, but I think he secretly likes it... what do you think we should eat? I was thinking we could share the grilled fish and sake? Or the steak and sake...

Rose: Eri,(Places hand on hers, causing her breath to slow), Relax, it's going to be okay. And the grilled fish sounds awesome.

Eri: Sorry, I don't know why i'm so nervous.

Rose: It's okay, so am I, i'm just really good at hiding it.

Eri: (Smirks)

(Waiter comes over and takes their order of grilled fish, with veggies and sake).

Rose: So, it seems like you really care about Akihiko and Misaki?

Eri: Yeah, they're like my best friends in the world, I love them, they're the closest thing to family I have.

Rose: What about your parents?

Eri: Eh, they I'm not really close with them?

Rose: What happened?

Eri: (Shrugs) We just had a falling out, they wouldn't help pay for university, they thought I should stay home and be a housewife, they had my future all planned out, down to an arranged marriage and I didn't want that.

Rose: I'm really sorry.

Eri: It is what it is, even though Akihiko drives me insane, especially when he doesn't meet his deadlines like his suppose to, he's always been there for me, and Misaki has been really good for Him, Isaka wants Misaki to be like Akihiko's assistant or whatever.

Rose: Won't that be a conflict of interest?

Eri: Akihiko is at his best when Misaki is around, we figure, the more Misaki is helping him the more books he can get out, plus there was this mangaka who really wanted Misaki, but we had to let him go, he was making them uncomfortable.

Rose: How?

Eri: Uh, stalking Misaki, he's completely in love with him and no matter how many times he turned him down he wouldn't listen, so we had to let him go, but turns out he had a better job offer at another company anyway, so i guess we did him a favor.

Rose: Misaki and Akihiko, are they okay?

Eri: Yeah, they've been through a lot but they always come out stronger.

Rose: Akihiko has to tell the public soon right, about him in Misaki?

Eri: That's what he wants.

(The waiter brings out their food, it looks amazing, they eat it and talk some more getting to know each other, Eri walks Rose back home, she ends up staying the night, they don't have sex, but fall asleep in each other's arms as quickly as they start falling in love.

#usagi #usagi x misaki #usami akihiko #misaki #misaki takahashi #takahashi misaki #misaki x usagi #takahiro takahashi #erin aikawa #aikawa #junjou romantica #fanfiction #my OTP #otp feels #otp #ship #Junju romatica

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borealiss · 2 years

Text

Hey, this next bit is fueled by sleep deprivation and a bit of sadness and loneliness. I also just need to get this into the world. Where else better to put this? This is written with a certain person in mind. I hope this will help you too stranger.

12/24/2021 || Final time: 5:20 AM

Dear Z,

Something has been eating me up inside and I couldn't figure out what it was for quite a lengthy bit of time. I think I have started to say something a few times and then shut down because emotions are ew. But not this time. It's taken me a few weeks to sit down and write this all out.

Let me take a moment to explain what this is. Most of the time i am too shy or embarrassed to talk about what is bothering me. I also never want to be somebodys problem. But i cant keep everything bottled up otherwise i end up exploding. I say things i do not mean. I cant word my thoughts properly. My thoughts are too loud, too fast, and all coming to surface at once. So I end up hurting feelings or becoming frustrated because I am not making any sense.

One of my mechanisms to help me keep a healthy mental state and a healthy life is to write everything down. If I have a problem I write about it. I run it through drafts and then finalize it. Whether or not this is an actually a good coping mechanism; who knows!! But so far so good. And it's helped with different relationships in my life.

Anyways here it goes.

My #1 love language is quality time.

At the risk of sounding selfish, I desire more quality time with the people I care about. I want more movie nights, some game nights, errand runs, coffee dates, aquarium trips, museum visits, walks out in the park, etc etc. Bars and parties are great, don't get me wrong! But there is more to life than loud music and alcohol. I want enrichment. I want to be able to stop and enjoy the small details happening around me while I am out with my friends! The lights hung up across the street! The dim stars in the sky! The crackle of the fire! The chatter of my friends. How the cold bites my cheeks, while laughter warms my heart...

This is all getting a bit romanticized now, but I could go on and on. (Here I shall interject: this is finalizing B! Boy now that my brain has slowed down and my emotions have settled, this is a bit embarrassing. Alas. Have to stay true to the meaning of this essay though!)

I think I have said it before, and I will say it again because it's worth stating. I feel pretty alone here. My family are thousands of miles away from me. I am also well aware that your plate is full. It bothers me to write all of this down and make you aware of it. I never want to be your problem. I never want my name to bring a twing of annoyance. I'd like only to be helpful. Although I know you'd prefer to handle everything yourself and I understand that. Boundaries are boundaries. Just please, do not forget I am happy to be a hand. I can bring my own plate and you can shovel some leftovers onto it. (This is a really shoddy analogy)

To conclude, I say all of this knowing damn well I sound a bit selfish. I declare I want more time devoted to me! This has most likely put you off quite a bit as well, so I apologize again. ( F. B. here! I've read "Death be Not Proud," so it definitely helped add fuel to the flames of writing.) Big character flaw reveal: I tend to overthink. Which is why this essay thing came to fruition. It's better than letting all of my thoughts swirl as a rotten soup in my brain. I write this knowing full well this may never reach you. In the end, I am too much of a coward to actually give this to you. I fear you may reject me and we will no longer be friends. I do not think I can handle that as well as I can handle what is happening now.

I love you greatly.

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kyluxtrashpit · 6 years

Note

For the writing game, I couldn't decide which, all the colors please? They're so interesting!

Omg I was so excited when I saw this! You’re so sweet to enable my rambling

Red: What type of writer’s block do you experience the most?

I guess the most common one is I get stuck in transitions. Like I know how this scene goes and I know how the next scene goes, but I don’t know exactly how to get from A to B and it’s one of those cases where I can’t just put a line and jump to it. Scene transitions are one of the hardest things for me for some reason. The second most common for me is probably when my brain is being a shit and won’t let me be productive due to some sort of emotional crisis lmao

White: Are you a supporter/lover of fanfiction?

I mean, kind of obvious lmao, but absolutely. I think it’s great that there are people who are creating things solely out of love for something, and that’s really what fanfiction is, at it’s deepest core. It’s a community of people being so enthusiastic about and loving something so hard that they work their asses of and dedicate time to just… making more of it. For no real external benefit other than some social validation, if they’re lucky. Love and passion are the true motivators and idk that’s just really beautiful to me

Black: Would you want to live in one of the fictional worlds you’vecreated?

I don’t really do a lot of worldbuilding because I find it incredibly boring and I’m terrible at it lmao, but since I always write either canon-verse or modern au, I’m going to treat this as ‘do I want to live in the Star Wars universe?’. And the answer to that would honestly be no. As much as there’s cool stuff, like advanced technology and aliens and maybe I’d be lucky enough to be able to move shit with my mind, there’s also a lot of bad things. A lot of fascism, a lot of wars, and every once in a while some asshole builds a planet-destroying superweapon and blows up a planet (or 5) and like… I could live on one of those, you know

That said, if I didn’t die because the planet I was living on exploded, I would probably survive alright. I mean, my background is in science, so tbh I might have better opportunities there than I do here. While that could mean making chemical weapons or something if the Empire was in power, that’s at least more interesting than customer service at a chemical company lmao. I still wouldn’t choose to live there, but I think I’d manage okay if I had to

[More beneath the cut - my sincerest apologies to those on mobile]

Blue: What’s more important to you: characters or plot?

I mean, they both definitely matter, but if I have to choose? Interesting characters can save a dry plot, but the best plot ever written will still be mediocre at best if the characters aren’t compelling. Personally, I love character-driven stories more than anything. Event-driven plots can still be fun, but I prefer the focus to be on how the characters are dealing with said events, as opposed to them just being passively driven along by them. The best is when it’s the characters themselves driving the events of the plot, but that’s more difficult to execute than it sounds. Regardless, it’s the characters that usually draw me into a story in the first place and that keep me interested. And from the perspective of my own writing, I go character-driven, all the way. Sure, some event might happen that drives the plot sometimes, but I’m far more interested in how the characters react to that event than anything else

Yellow: What’s a common writing tip that you mostly ignore?

In terms of writing advice, nothing makes my blood boil more than those posts that say ‘get rid of this entire class of words’ or ‘if it’s not absolutely strictly necessary to the plot, cut it’. Fuck that shit. If you want your writing to look like Hemingway, sure, go for it, but a) Hemingway is overrated, and b) that’s not the only way to write well. Especially as someone who tends to focus on characters, passages that aren’t necessary to the plot may be necessary to establish characterization. Or they may add some emotion to the story that gets the reader invested. Same with wording choices; more or less words can drastically change the tone or mood of the scene. Are there times when you need to cut words and keep things concise? Absolutely, but any writing tip that says ‘remove every instance of [word] in your document’ is fucking bullshit and you should never listen to it

Grey: What’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

Tbh I think every writing tip you see should always be taken with a grain of salt, especially if it’s a ‘never do x’ because there is almost always a situation where doing x is the right thing to do, it’s just a matter of knowing how to do it correctly (looking at you, ‘never use the passive voice’). So really, there are very few I always follow, but I’ll give one that was foundationally helpful for me

Edit in a different format than you write. That can be changing the text size, or the font, or printing it out physically, or whatever. For me, I usually pop it into AO3′s preview function and take notes of things that need changing as I go. It forces your brain to notice things it’s been overlooking for the entire writing period. I only do my final edit this way, generally speaking, but I’ve found it to be incredibly helpful for catching typos and general weirdness in the writing

Orange: How many projects do you usually have going at once?

Because my fics are usually short, I tend to only have 1, but I think I’ve had up to 3-4 before. That’s basically me just popping between documents everytime I get stuck on one until one is finished lmao. But more than 2 gets to be a lot to handle

Currently, I’m really only working on my Big Bang fic, though I do have at least one one-shot I’m planning to write when I need a short break from it

Pink: Which of your characters would become your best friend?

This is so hard because like, I don’t get along with a lot of people generally speaking. I’m also going to treat this as the entire SW cast even though I only write Kylo and Hux, for the most part. And I’m not sure I’d be good friends with either of them. While Kylo would make an excellent self-destruction buddy, I think we’re too similar for the most part to get along. And while I also have an element of Hux in me that’s my anal retentiveness when it comes to organization (not to be confused with cleanliness; I’m talking more about my colour-coded work email and my nested folder system on my computer), I’m also very emotional, messy, and I’m not really equipped to verbally spar with him. I think I would actually do okay with Hux as a boss, not a friend, but with Kylo, I think we’d get along really well until we really didn’t. And then I would be dead lmao

Aaaand none of that was an actual answer. But like, I honestly don’t know? Most of the other characters I really like (e.g. Rey, Rae Sloane, Ventress), it’s because I would have a big huge crush on them which would manifest as my hovering in their vicinity a lot but never actually starting a conversation and then waxing poetic while crying about my unrequited love when I continue to go unnoticed lmao. Which is, well, still not friendship

Maybe Finn… I might get along really well with Finn. He’s one of my favourites as well and I think he’d be really interesting to talk to. Has a lot of interesting views on things, likely a good listener. Hm. I’m still not 100% solid on it, but after far too many words, that’s my answer lmao

Purple: Which of your characters would become your sworn enemy?

Okay, hear me out on this one because the reason isn’t what you think lmao. I’m also treating this less as ‘sworn enemy’ and more ‘person I’d least get along with’ and that’s actually Poe. And the reason is that highly extroverted, extremely friendly people who others call charismatic tend to rub me the wrong way. Like there’s nothing wrong with them, they’re perfectly nice, but they’re just too friendly and my socially-inept, introverted brain always responds to that with DANGER DANGER. And I think he would definitely fall into that category for me haha

Green: Pencil, typewriter, or computer?

Computer. I have written fic by hand before (I also sometimes do planning by hand, just because it can be a bit more visual; Fractured was planned largely by hand when I used to work evenings at a gym and had access to unlimited spare paper), but that’s usually only when I have nothing else to work with. I wrote most of a fic in the Halifax airport on a layover, once. I’ve also done it on my phone, but that’s too fucking annoying lmao. Typerwriters are super fun to use but also very impractical for me; my typing accuracy isn’t good enough

Brown: Do you have a set writing space? Or do you write everywhere?

Mostly I’m at home on my couch, but that’s really cause I have nowhere else to write. I do write at work sometimes (not smut though lmao), but only when it’s slow enough that I can get away with it. And there’s nowhere else I really go where I’m sitting with a computer for long periods of time

Silver: Are you comfortable writing in public places?

I am, yeah. I don’t know why I wouldn’t be tbh. Work is a public place and the only reason I don’t write smut there is because I don’t want to get fired lmao (slacking off is one thing, porn is another). I don’t really ever write in public, but that’s more because I don’t spend a lot of time sitting in public places by myself

Gold: Do your stories usually contain lessons or morals?

Not really… I can’t think of any at least. They always have some sort of closure, though, because I fucking hate open-ended stuff where everything isn’t worked out in the end lmao (or is at least on it’s way there). I’m too fragile for that shit haha

Clear: Do your characters control where the story goes or do youmaintain control?

I tend to write more like an rper than an actual author, based on conversations I’ve had with others, so my characters have a lot of control. That said, if you’ve got your plot and all the major points of it planned out and then you get halfway through and find it doesn’t work because of the characters, then that’s a failure in planning, not the characters taking control. Sometimes things do change and are reworked as you go, that’s the nature of writing, but that still means your plan needed some adjusting, you just didn’t know it at the time. I intentionally leave a lot of room in my plans for the characters (e.g. ‘and then they talk about [blank]. Hux says something mean and Kylo gets angry’ might be my only note for an entire scene), but if you’ve planned enough to actually start writing, your characters and plot should already work together. Characters control the minor details of the story, not the major plot

Tan: Are you open to co-writing a story?

I might be. I’ve never done it before and the Big Bang I’m doing now is the most collaborative thing I’ve ever done writing-wise. If someone approached me and was really interested in it, I might be willing to give it a shot. I’m not really sure how it works, though. I tend to envision it as basically an rp except it’s planned out beforehand and then edited afterwards, but in all honesty, I have no idea how it actually goes

#this was so fun thank you so much #also you're the only one who sent in an ask so it worked out really well lmao #I think it got a little incoherent halfway through but meh that's just how I work most of the time haha #I love to ramble and thank you again for giving me the opportunity to do so <3 #squire reblogs #ask tag #things I am tagged in #sort of but not really #long post #for the folks on mobile #my fic #because I can

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gimmedatingadvice · 4 years

Note

Hello, I am Shay(24) and I need so me advice. I recently started crushing on this guy(27) via an online game. Like, we started off as friends and then suddenly while hanging out one day, he started to talk to me different. He was overly nice and crossed certain boundaries that suggested he didnt want to be just friends anymore. I was stupid enough to play along until one night he started to ask me advice about getting over an ex. I didnt want to be rude so I listened but I was completely devastated. And not too long after, he asked if she could join our gaming session. I was obviously heart broken and I felt completely used... he didnt apologize that night. He just told me he couldn't control himself and he didnt mean to disappoint me with his actions. The next day was awkward, I had to pretend like he didnt hurt my feelings and I just wanted things to go back to how they were. But he completely stopped the sweet talking and only gave me awkward small talk. I was.... crushed. Last night I asked him how he felt about me and he said that he likes me but he wanted to put boundaries between us because he wouldn't know if he'd be attracted to me irl. Now I'm not sure what to think? He started flirting with me first? And now hes backing out because I might be ugly?? I'm not even sure what it means to like someone but add boundaries? I feel like hes lying but I dont want to pry.

I also cant stop playing with him because we are in a group and all of us play together. I dont want to cause drama but I also feel like I cant get over him if I'm forced to interact with him... I'm really unsure what to do.

I'm sorry if my problem is uncommon... I thought it was worth a shot. Any advice would help.

Hello Shay! No need to apologize—I'm here to help whether it's a common or an uncommon problem!

First of all, I'm sorry to hear that you're feeling heartbroken. I really hope that I can help you ease some of that negative feeling!

Since he talked about how he can get over his ex and then, soon after, he invited his ex to your gaming session, I think he still has some feelings for his ex. However, before he talked about his ex-girlfriend, it sounds like to me he was interested in becoming more than friends with you, so he flirted with you and you flirted back since you also like him—you weren't being stupid, don't worry! I think he tried to move on from his ex.

Have you both ever met up in person? Because he said that he wouldn't know if he'd be attracted to you in real life, I'm guessing that you and he didn't see each other face to face yet. So right now, I think he means exactly what he's saying. He does like you but I think you like him more than he does for you.

As for what you should do next, you must do what is the best for you and take responsibility for your decision. If you feel that you really can't handle playing with him anymore, then you should leave the group. I understand that you don't want to cause drama and you want to play the game with your group, but how you feel about it matters and should matter more to you. However, if you feel that it's better and more important for you to stay in the group, even though you might have to interact with him, then you should stay and play. You could also take a little break from the game, so that you can let go of your feelings for him.

Remember, it's okay to feel sad, so let it all out! But also remember that there's a bright side to this too, not just negative things (of course, it's hard to see the advantages immediately). Think about what you learned from this experience. Reflect on what really makes you happy. Ask yourself if you would rather not have had feelings for him. Although you feel crushed right now, remember that there was a special moment you and that person shared together.

#dating advice #anonymous #advice #ask #love advice #relationship advice #relationships

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eeveelutionsforequality · 6 years

Note

Hey vape, i dunno if you have clinical anxiety specifically, but what do you do when you're feeling really anxious and it's out of control? I just had a pretty bad panic attack that lasted a few hours and I really thought I was gonna die because I felt like I couldn't breathe. My sister was around so I had an anchor this time, but what do i do when im alone? Sorry for dumping my problems on you, but you're the only person I know that would really understand my problem. Have a nice day :)

Don't feel like you have to apologize for asking for advice! You're not dumping your problems on me at all! I wouldn't say that I was okay with answering people's questions in regards to this sort of thing if I felt at all like I couldn't listen to people's problems!

I have phobias, OCD, generalized anxiety disorder, and a few other conditions that have it as a symptom, and how (or even if) I deal with it sort of depends on which is causing it and what sort of anxiety it is and why I'm anxious and what the circumstances are and all sorts of things.

Firstly though, have you been checked for asthma? I know that my anxiety is one of the worst triggers for my asthma, and a panic attack leading to an asthma attack creates this cycle of panic and breathlessness that really isn't good. I'd recommend just making sure of that, if you can.

If you're having a panic attack that affects your breathing, try to remove yourself from any sources of panic (for example, if it's an annoying but not dangerous or warning noise, like a ticking clock, cover your ears or go to another room) and just focus on getting your breathing in order.

At 8:05 in this video, the Anxiety character runs over a breathing exercise with Thomas that you can repeat to get your breathing in order: https://youtu.be/wr17Kq5bmtI

Also, I do recommend that entire series: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLYA7DZ_sbUzvB1l6KsO5LZV2rrk2u1xl4

While viewing parts of yourself as different, separate entities isn't necessarily good for you if taken to the extreme (in fact that can be detrimental), viewing a side of yourself as something with a more complex array of causal factors and a need for your care and compassion is actually really really helpful, and Thomas handles explaining things really tactfully (there's also quite a bit of advice scattered amidst various episodes about dealing with anxiety).

I saw a post on here about viewing your anxiety as something that's afraid and needs your love and calming, and I do try to view it somewhat like that - like, I try not to think of it as a corruption in my brain that's attacking me, but more like a part of me that's scared and that I need to care for and work to understand.

Because of my agoraphobia, being outside is really hard on my anxiety - everything in my head just becomes a fuzzy mush as soon as I step out of my front door, it's like a half-dissociated state where I feel like I'm mostly on auto-pilot because I'm too confused and stressed to really concentrate on anything that I'm doing, and sometimes I'll do really stupid things (like pick up entirely the wrong shopping) because I'm too inside my panicked thoughts to actually pay attention to what my body is doing. Other times I can get so panicked that I collapse when I'm outside.

If I'm at home alone and I get super anxious, irritable, or angry (or some combination therein) - I'll often put on really loud and really angry music, and work through the emotions in a daydream instead. Marilyn Manson has been my choice of artist over the last few days, but it varies... Combichrist, Angelspit, Aesthetic Perfection, Rammstein, Otep, Metallica, Mindless Self Indulgence, that sort of thing. I used to shut myself in this really small cupboard, but I've taken to just hiding under a duvet lately because that's way more comfortable and easier on the joints. Then I'll usually daydream about a scenario in which I can just violently beat on something to the music (zombie apocalypse, superhero battle, that sort of thing).

There's more kinds of anxiousness and more weird personal coping mechanisms that I have, but I don't particularly know how helpful those would be to talk about here, to be honest. Some of them (like the intensity of the daydreams because of MaDD, or the fact that I have DID so sometimes stress will trigger a switch) aren't so much implementable coping mechanisms as they are my brain just glitching itself into somehow working with its abysmal circuitry. Others of them (like if I'm trying to deal with the anxiousness from psychosis or intrusive thoughts) aren't always the healthiest or safest coping mechanisms.

I think if you're alone and having a panic attack, the first thing to do is to get away from any physical sources of anxiety and focus on getting your breathing back to normal. You won't die - try not to add those concerns to the already too large pile of worries.

Then, once your breathing is more steady and you can keep that up, try some grounding techniques - hugging a pet or a teddy bear, stroking the fur/material, repeating some positive affirmations ("It's going to be okay, I'm okay, I'm safe" sorts of things), and keeping your breathing steady. Counting something like beads on a bracelet can be really helpful.

If there's something that you have to deal with immediately, then get that over with as quickly as possible (for example, if there's a spider that's caused the panic attack, kill it, remove it, or cover it with a bowl/cup as quickly as you can). Then repeat any calming techniques as necessary.

If you like maths or a TV show or something, then there might be something else that you could say/do to distract and calm your mind - I sometimes do maths equations in my head if I feel an oncoming panic attack (for example, 1+1 is 2, 2+2 is 4, 4+4 is 8, 8+8 is 16, 16+16 is 32, and on and on in that pattern, because it's a progression that gets more difficult as it goes along so it eases me into being distracted), but some people might sing a song from their favourite video game, or repeat a particularly long quote that a favourite character says, or something like that.

After that, distractions can be good for a little while - watching a half an hour TV show, listening to music, playing a video game, or something that requires just enough concentration to keep you gripped but not enough to be a strain - don't rush yourself into trying to think and plan, just relax but don't give yourself space to overthink. I've also found that cleaning my teeth is good for that - I clench my jaw a lot when I'm panicking, so cleaning my teeth for a few minutes really helps with the pain that causes.

There's also learning mindfulness techniques - but that's a process, it's not something that you can necessarily just implement tomorrow. It's definitely worth researching and worth considering as a more long-term solution. Being able to neutrally observe emotions and situations, to listen to the worries in your mind non-judgmentally, and so on, can be really good for maintaining a calm state and for actually tackling some of the causes of the panic.

Similarly, talking to a professional is an important long-term solution.

A warm drink also really helps me after the panic has died down - preferably something without caffeine and with marshmallows.

I know some people who've decorated little shoeboxes with wrapping paper and filled them with calming and comforting objects - textures that help with grounding, fond memories in photograph form, cute toys or teddies, positive quotes, or whatever helps them feel good. When they're anxious, they go to the shoebox and look through it for a little while until they feel better.

Honestly though, there are times when it just kind of feels like I have to remind myself that the panic won't last forever, and wait it out, and then work on getting myself back together after it's over - if I keep trying to fight it and worrying about it, then that only adds more strain. The music really helps with that, with just kind of accepting that I'm feeling things and that I'm going to feel them for a bit, but then they're going to go away and I can get up and have a warm drink and watch some mindless TV and start to feel like myself again.

I know that some people are helped by phoning a loved one and talking it through with them - but since phone calls themselves can be a source of anxiety (they are for me, given all of my issues with my voice and speaking at all), I don't know how effective that would be for you.

I hope that there was something in there that helped! I've been awake for about twenty-two hours now, and I've barely had any sleep for the last few nights, so I'm sorry if exhaustion means that I'm not at my best lately.

~ Vape

#Mod Vaporeon #anxiety tw

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