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loriache · 7 days

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Kabru, impossible mutual understanding & unknowable objects

Despite his concerted and constant efforts to understand other people, it’s established in a few extras that Kabru believes that true mutual understanding between certain different races is impossible. Specifically, between long-lived and short-lived races, and between humans and demi-humans. Partially, we can trace this conviction back to specific hang-ups caused by his life; the trauma of the Utaya disaster, prejudices he carries from his childhood, and his experience of racism among the elves. In this “little” essay, I’m gonna discuss how I think those experiences formed this belief, how it comes out in his actions, and how some of his actions seem to contradict it. The question of whether it’s possible to reach mutual understanding with other living beings despite our differences is one of the core themes of the manga, and I’ll also touch on how this aspect of Kabru’s character links to that.

Seeking understanding

Kabru is a character who devotes a huge amount of time and effort to understanding people, and he is very good at it. In his internal monologue, we can tell how advanced and complex his skills of analysis are. He is able to read a huge amount of information just from looking at people's faces and body language.

People are, to him, what monsters are to Laios. This is something that's been expanded on at length in other, excellent meta. It's the fact that they're foils; it's the fact that Kabru is also very easy to read as autistic, with a special interest which is the opposite and parallel of Laios'. It's something that came out of trauma and alienation, as Laios' special interest in monsters also began as a coping mechanism.

The complicated origin of this "love" for monsters and for people comes through, I think, in the fact that one of the places we see both characters use their fixation is in being very, very good at killing the thing that they love. This also ties into the idea that loving something isn't even remotely mutually exclusive with using it to sustain your own survival; using it for your own purposes; hurting it or killing it. Love can be, and often is, violent, possessive and consumptive. This understanding is part of what makes Kui's depiction of interpersonal relationships so compelling to me.

While Laios fixated on monsters and animals to seek a place of escape, in both his imagination and his self-image, from the humans who he couldn't understand and who couldn't understand him, Kabru seems to have fixated on understanding people in order to navigate the complex, socially marginal places that he has been forced into throughout his life. As an illegitimate child raised by a single mother with an appearance that marked him out as different to the point his father's family wanted to kill him, and a tallman child raised among elves who didn't treat him as fully human and wanted him to perform gratefulness for that treatment – treatment that, after he met Rin at age 9, he certainly always understood could be a lot worse – his ability to work out what people wanted from him, whether they were friendly or hostile or had ulterior motives, wasn’t just an interest. It will have been an essential skill.

Milsiril, I think, was a flawed parent who tried to do her best by Kabru and did a lot of harm to him despite her best intentions. She may have treated him much better than an average elf would have, but like Otta and Marcille's mother, there are other elves with different outlooks on short-lived races. How would they judge her treatment of him? We don’t have any insight on what it could be, but to be honest, the person’s whose opinion of her I’d be most interested in knowing is Rin’s.

But even if she'd been perfect, living as an trans-racial adoptee in a deeply hierarchical nation with a queen who is a 'staunch traditionalist' who wouldn't even acknowledge the existence of a half-elf like Marcille (according to Cithis) is an experience that would deeply impact anyone.

Elves & Impossible mutual understanding

While Kabru was living with Milsiril - in other words, while living in the Northern Central Continent - he came to believe that "there was no way to achieve mutual understanding with the long-lived races."

This is evident in his political project: he wants short-lived races to have ownership over the dungeon's secrets. Despite his dislike of the Lord of the Island, he's a useful bulwark to stop the elves taking over. Despite his doubts about Laios, Laios needs to be the one to defeat the dungeon, because if he doesn't the elves will take over.

Kabru still carries a deep scar from Utaya, one that was exacerbated by the fact that he never got an answer to any of his questions about what happened or why. This, despite the fact that Milsiril knows about the demon and how it works. Do you think Kabru, with his social perceptiveness that borders on the superhuman, wasn't aware that she knew more than she would tell him?

Given that, the fact that he gets to a place where he "doesn't have any particularly negative feelings about [elves/long-lived species]" .... well, to put it bluntly, I believe that he thinks that's the case, but I kind of doubt it. After all, if he did have resentment, of Milsiril (someone who was his primary provider and caretaker since age six, and who despite her flaws, loves him and who I do think he loves) or of elves (who he has had to play nice with for most of his life, in order to survive, and will still have to play nice with in order to achieve his goals, since they hold all the power) what would that do except hurt him and make his life harder? Kabru is Mr. Pragmatic, so I don't think he'd let himself acknowledge any such feelings he did have. Exactly because he can't acknowledge them, they're well placed to get internalised as beliefs about the Fundamental Unchangeable Nature of the World.

However, these stated beliefs seem to contradict his actions. Despite his belief in the impossibility of forming a mutual understanding, he certainly seems to try to understand long-lived people, just as much as he does short-lived people. There's no noticeable difference between his treatment of Daya & Holm versus Mickbell & Rin that isn't clearly down to their relationship with him. His skills of human analysis were honed and developed while living amongst elves, and as soon as he's alone with Mithrun he immediately sets to understanding him - his interests, his motivations, his needs, and his past.

He treats him considerately and without bias, and despite the fact that Mithrun conquering the dungeon for the elves is both a reenactment of a core part of his childhood trauma and a political disaster for his aims, that doesn't seem to colour his perspective on Mithrun negatively at all.

This is something I find extremely laudable about Kabru, and it's another way he parallels Laios. He seems to understand that people, as a rule, (in Laios' case, he understands this about monsters - and eventually, all living beings) will act in their own interests, and if those interests conflict with yours, might harm you. But that's just their nature, and it's not something that should be held against them; you're also doing the same thing, after all. The crux of Laios' arc is precisely that he has to accept the responsibility of hurting someone else in order to achieve what he wants.

Kabru is deeply concerned with his own morals, what he should and shouldn't do, but mostly in the context of responsibility for the consequences - a responsibility he takes onto himself. He isn't scrupulous about what he needs to do in order to create the outcome he wants, but if he fails to create that outcome, then....

He blames himself to the point of thinking he should die. He doesn't blame Laios, or seem at all angry with him, despite concluding he should have killed him to prevent this outcome. That's because in his eyes, ultimately Laios was going to act according to his own nature, and it's Kabru's fault for not understanding that nature well enough. He's extremely confident in his ability to understand and predict others, (including elves and other long-lived people). Then, where does his conviction that mutual understanding is impossible come from?

Partially, it's the "mutual" part. I'm sure Kabru, who isn't able or willing to deny Otta's insinuation that Milsiril saw him more like a pet than a son, has felt that his full interiority, the depth of his feelings and his ability to grow, act, and think as a fully equal being, was something that the elves around him just couldn't grasp. Because that was their excuse for it, he came to understand this as a gulf between short-lived and long-lived beings, an inevitable difference in outlook caused by their different lifespans.

This experience might be part of what leads to his iconic “fake” behaviour. He trusts his ability to understand others, but if they aren’t able to understand him, then there isn’t any benefit to being honest about his feelings and thoughts. If his attempts to reach mutual understanding with his caretakers were never able to be fulfilled, then it isn’t any wonder that he reacts with such surprise and horror at blurting out his desire to be Laios’ friend.

In his experience, making yourself vulnerable in that way only leads to being hurt. Soothing him, hushing him, lying to him, talking to him like a child that isn’t able to use proper judgement – that’s an inadequate and deeply hurtful way to respond to genuine distress, the desire for autonomy, or disagreement. Ultimately, I think that’s why he comes out on the side of being grateful to Milsiril; because she did equip him with the skills and knowledge he’d need to reach his goal, and let him go.

Though he could understand them, they couldn't understand him. To the extent that was true - which I'm sure it was - it wasn't due to anything about lifespan. It was due to the elves’ racism, and the solipsitic mindset & prejudiced attitude that it caused them to approach him with.

Because, if it needs to be said, the idea that there is an unbreachable gap in understanding between the long-lived and short-lived species is not true. Marcille and Laios have a much greater difference in lifespan than any full elf from any short-lived person, and they’re able to understand each other – maybe not perfectly, but better than many other people who are closer in life-span to them.

That doesn’t mean that I think Kabru is wrong about this, however. Because there’s an interpretation of his statement that is reflected in his actions and is true. When he talks about his problem with elves, it’s not just their attitudes: it’s their power, and what they use it to do. They “explain nothing and take everything”. Though it’s presented in the guise of ‘guiding and protecting’, in fact it’s a simple case of a powerful nation using their military power, wealth, access to resources, and historically stolen land – including the island itself – to protect their own interests and advance their own agenda. That’s why they’d be able to show up, seize the dungeon, and forcibly take Kabru’s party and Laios’ party to the West. If Kabru wants to stop that from happening, or change that status quo, persuasion or a bid to be understood would be completely pointless. Between the political blocs formed by long-lived species and the interests of short-lived species, “mutual understanding”, given their current, unequal terms, would be impossible. This is something that we see reflected in Kabru’s actions; before he asks his questions about the dungeon, he grabs Mithrun as leverage. He never really attempts to persuade the canaries to see his point of view, because that would be pointless: they’re agents of the Northern Central Continent’s monarchy, and will act in its interests regardless of any individual relationship with him.

I don’t think Kabru sees the different dimensions of this belief of his in quite such clear terms, however, as is evidenced by the other group who he thinks it’s impossible to communicate with.

Demi-Humans & Unknowable Objects

The other place that we see his conviction about the impossibility of mutual understanding is in the kobold extra.

I'm including the whole thing, because I think it's an excellent and clever piece of world-building. Aside from what it says about Kabru, which I'll expand on shortly, what this extra does is deconstruct and call into question the usual "fantasy ontological biology" present in these sort of DnD-like settings. Essentially, the kind of worldbuilding where a race (such as kobolds) can be described as war-like, and that's establishing something essential about their biological nature. That's common to the point that if Kui didn't include this, some people would probably come away thinking that's the case about, e.g., the orcs.

But here, despite what Kabru is saying, the information the reader actually gets is:

the conflict between short-lived humans and demi-humans such as kobolds is mostly over access to material resources that they need to survive.

These resources are scarce because powerful nations, such as the elves, have monopolised them.

Kabru, who has grown up in a place at the centre of these conflicts, ascribes essential, negative traits to a cultural group which was in direct conflict with his own. Communication with this other group is impossible; they aren't people, they're more like objects.

oh yes! just like this conflict between groups of tall-men, a conflict which the reader will immediately interpret as more clearly analogous to real-life racism. Our other protagonists also carry prejudices from growing up in a place where a marginalised group was in conflict with the dominant group over scarce resources. It's definitely impossible to communicate with these people, and you can only kill them.

Woah, when you say it like that, it sounds pretty bad!

But also, nobody walks away having had a realisation or unlearned their prejudices - because they don't have the tools they need to do that work. Yet. I do think, to an extent, it could happen - especially with Kabru, since it's suggested in the epilogue that Melini might become a safe-haven for demi-humans.

To focus in on Kabru, the key here is his statement that you should think of demi-humans as "unknowable objects". Even his extraordinary powers of understanding have seemingly hit a limit. Part of this is just inherited prejudice, and doesn't need to have a complicated psychological explanation, any more than the elves who were prejudiced against him need one.

But also... this is probably somewhat linked to the way demi-humans seem to be considered "pseudo-monsters". They're the place that the strict delineation between the human and the monstrous is permeated. Laios, who is not interested in humans, remembers and is excited by Kuro. Chilchuck and Laios argue over whether it's OK to eat a mermaid. Kabru's prepared to (pretend to) roll with the idea that Laios ate the orcs.

But these are people, aren't they? Of course, this is a social construction, as we see from the fact that in the Eastern Archipelago, the label of "human" is reserved for tallmen, but in most of the rest of the world it depends on some obviously arbirary classification based on number of bones; "demi-humans" aren't in any essential way monstrous, except to an extent in their appearance, and physical location - due to their marginal social status, they're pushed out to live in unsafe places such as dungeons.

Therefore, Kabru's view of demi-humans as fundamentally "other", unable to be understood - monstrous - could be read as akin to abjection, the psychoanalytical concept described by Julia Kristeva. In order to create a bounded, secure superego, that thing which permeates and calls into question the border between self and other, human and animal, life and death, is rejected and pushed to the margin.

“Not me. Not that. But not nothing, either. A "something" that I do not recognize as a thing.[...] On the edge of nonexistence and hallucination, of a reality that, if I acknowledge it, annihilates me. There, abject and abjection are my safeguards. The primers of my culture.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 11) “It is thus not lack of cleanliness or health that causes abjection but what disturbs identity, system, order. ” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 13) “The pure will be that which conforms to an established taxonomy; the impure, that which unsettles it, establishes intermixture and disorder. [...] the impure will be those that do not confine themselves to one element but point to admixture and confusion.” (Kristeva et al., 1984, p. 107) (discussing food prohibitions in Leviticus)

This is both (due to its affinity with food-loathing and disgust) a very fruitful concept to apply to dunmeshi, and a psychoanalytical theory which I wouldn't exactly cosign as True Facts About Human Psychological Development. You may also know the abject from its utilisation in the classic essay "Horror and the Monstrous-Feminine" by Barbara Creed - that's a lot more approachable than Kristeva if anyone's interested.

Key here, though, is that through the symbol of the "demi-human" is embodied a step between "human" and "monster" - and that's a prospect that puts at risk the whole notion of an absolute separation between those two categories in the first place. To Laios, that's something wonderful, and to Kabru, it's terrifying. We can see this principle further embodied in the relationship both characters have with the notion of becoming monstrous.

To Laios, this is transcendent, and represents a renunciation of everything human - in fact, if it didn't, it wouldn't "count".

To Kabru, it's a deeply-held fear, established by his childhood alienation (due to his illegitimacy, his eyes, and perhaps also his neurodivergency), deepened by monster-related trauma and the sense of responsibility and survivors guilt he feels for what happened at Utaya. His identity as a human who is not monstrous is key to his sense of stability and safety; he doesn't want to touch monsters, he doesn't even want to see them.

To acknowledge a kinship, a possibility of similarity between the things he loves (humans) and the things he hates (monsters) would be more than touching them - it would be putting them inside him. We know, quite explicitly, that this notion is triggering to Kabru. He literally has what seems to be a flashback when he's about to eat the harpy omelette.

So he abjects it, classifying the demi-human as fundamentally unlike him - an unknowable object, or an object that he refuses to know. Because in understanding it, he would interject the things he hates and fears into his self, which is already, always under threat by that hated and feared object.

Of course, again, Kabru isn't very good at enacting this refusal in practice. For one, when he chooses between his desires and ingesting the feared object, eating monsters... he eats monsters. Part of this is treating himself badly, the "ends justify the means" mentality. His goal is to destroy all monsters, so if he needs to become monster-like to do that, he will. But part of it is also the other motivation that he didn't even seem to know about until he said it: he wants to become Laios' friend, and to learn from him how a person can like monsters. He wants, at least in some part of him, to reconcile the feared and hated object into something he can understand.

For another:

Kabru can speak the kobold language. In the first place, while this may have been common in Utaya, it also could have been something he chose to learn, an early expression of his interest in understanding and talking to all sorts of people. It isn't the kind of thing you learn if you believe that communication between yourself and the group that speak it is impossible, is it?

It's possible to harbour prejudices against a group while being kind to an individual, and given Kabru has those prejudices regardless of his reasons, that is what he is doing. But also, his treatment of Kuro doesn't reflect a sincerely held belief that he's an "unknowable object" at all. His approach is exactly the same as it is to any other person: an analysis of goal and motive, and an attempt to help if he's sympathetic and their goals align - going out of his way to give language and local knowledge lessons in secret. His conviction that Mickbell and Kuro will truly become friends when they can properly communicate is completely contradictory to any sense of demi-humans as fundamentally different, or impossible to reach mutual understanding with. To me, it seems like this self-protective shield against the corruptive force demi-humans as an idea present to his identity, this abjection, when Kabru is face-to-face with one, just simply can't hold up against his finely honed skill of intellectual empathy. Perhaps because he's autistic, it seems his "empathy" is less an emotional mirror response, and more a set of cognitive skills for analysis of others. That instinctual, emotional empathy might not trigger when presented with a member of an out-group, but if it’s possible for Kabru to turn his cognitive empathy off, we don’t see him do it.

This isn't to say that this prejudice doesn't affect his behaviour. For one, it could negatively impact his judgement of politics and policy, where individual people don't enter into it. For another, I'm not convinced he'd be willing to overlook Mickbell's exploitative relationship with Kuro if Kuro wasn't a kobold. As it is, since both of them are satisfied, he doesn't feel like he needs to intervene, regardless of the fact Mickbell isn't paying Kuro. But if Daya and Holm were in a relationship, and Holm took both Daya's and his own share from their ventures, but only compensated her in living expenses and kept the rest, do you think he'd tolerate it, for example? Even if she said it was OK?

Conclusion

The kelpie chapter establishes that "people can never know what monsters are really thinking." That isn't just true of monsters, though.

True mutual understanding is impossible - between anyone. We can never truly understand another person's heart. This is touched on in, for example, the existence of shapeshifters and dopplegangers. Even a monster that seemed like a perfect copy of a person wouldn’t be that person, and wouldn’t be a satisfactory replacement.

We’re intended, I think, to understand the winged lion's repeated suggestions to just replace people who have been lost with copies as something uncanny, which demonstrates the way that the winged lion never manages to attain a complete understanding of humans. A version of a person who was created to fulfil your memories of them, to be the person who you wanted them to be, would be a terrible, miserable thing.

Disagreeing, coming into conflict, and misunderstanding each other, are essential parts of what it means to be living beings, as fundamental as the need to eat.

The only thing to do is not to take more than you need to eat to survive, and not impose your own desires onto others. To do your best to sincerely communicate your desires, even if they're embarrassing or vulnerable or strange, like Kabru eventually does with Laios; like Laios does, bit by bit, with the people around him; like Marcille does, Chilchuck does, Senshi does... to hope they will accept you, and do your best to understand them in return.

We can re-examine, in that context, Kabru's line about the elves' tendency to "explain nothing and take everything".

They have the power to impose their preferred "menu" onto less powerful groups. And in that context, mutual understanding being impossible just means that they won't give up their power because they're asked nicely. Kabru's goal is to seize the truth that they won't give to him, and to create a situation where they can't take everything. Because he's accurately surmised that nothing about the treatment of short-lived races will change so long as the power imbalance remains. Despite the way he mistakenly ascribes part of that to "long-lived vs short-lived" or "human vs demi-human", the actual gulfs in understanding he identifies are structural, are about power and about access to material resources and safety.

I think he could come to recognise this. Yaad is teaching him political science after all, and while a prince's lessons on political science won't exactly get at much that's radical or invested in the interests and perspectives of the marginalised (Capital is a critique of for a reason after all...) I believe in Kabru's ability to learn critically and get more from a lesson than it was intended to teach.

#og post #kabru of utaya #kabru dungeon meshi #laios touden #dungeon meshi meta #dungeon meshi #dunmeshi #dungeon meshi manga spoilers #dungeon meshi analysis #kuro dungeon meshi #the canaries #milsiril #continuing to develop my kabru theses.#literally sitting and thinking about kabru all day. rotating him.#he's in the microwave. to me.

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recreationalfanfics · 1 year

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Record of Justice: Wonder Woman! Reader HCs

I am so gay for Diana.

- Brunhilde doesn't HESITAITE to choose you as one of her champions, seeing as you're both demi-gods who come from a warrior race of women, I can see you and her honestly having a lot in common together.

- But yeah, no, Diana's whole thing is that she wants to save the world of man so even of Brunhilde didn't choose her, you would have still chosen to fight because it was your duty.

- So Wonder Woman has multiple origins: Her original one being that she was born from clay by her mother but there are versions she has a dad which kinda switches between Hades and Zeus. Zeus will be your father in this case because I genuinely like the idea of him blowing his fucking gasket when he sees you enter in the side of humanity.

- "YOU KNOW HER, YOU LOVE HER: LADIES AND GENTLEGODS, GIVE IT UP FOR THE AMAZONIAN PRINCESS AND SAVIOR OF MAN: (Y/N)!!!"

- Ares and Wonder Woman have so much beef in the comics so you and him definetly don't see eye to eye now. In fact, Ares would fight you himself if he could but like, you're also kinda scary when you're mad.

- Zeus and Poseidon are literally about to blow a fucking gasket when they see you. Zeus is more subtle as usual as he's all: "Oh, well she's always been the black sheep of the family!" but in reality, he feels deeply betrayed. Poseidon isn't surprised honestly, he genuinely believes you should have grown up with the Olympians instead of on Themyscira because then maybe you'd learn to look down on those pathetic humans instead of protecting them.

- Tbh, Poseidon does have a bit of a soft spot for you as his niece because you're the only one whose ever DARED to back talk him despite knowing his power. He wishes your mother, Hippolyta, wasn't such a stubborn woman. I can totally see moments when you're absolutely destroying Gods and Poseidon just smiling proudly at you but then quickly scowling so no one can see him.

- However the Greek Gods who explicitly still care for you are definetly Hermes, Hercules, and Aphrodite.

- Aphrodite, being your big sister, absolutely adores you even if you two aren't on the same side. She smiles when she sees you and if she can, she will try to catch you in the hallways and pull you into a hug, meanwhile you're kinda suffocating in her bosom. She compliments you on what a strong and beautiful woman you've become, the only reason she isn't upset with you for "betraying" the family is because...well, you've always been like that. It's just nice to see you again♡

-As for Hercules, you both are Demi gods and while you acknowledge humanities faults, you welcomed him with open arms and appreciate his dedication. You two might not be bound by blood but the way you carry each other's ideals and respect and tease each other, its very clear you two have an unbreakable bond.

- Hermes adored you since you were born. Despite Themyscira's laws that men weren't allowed on the island, he was a God, and would happily come and see you to play with you. Taking on a big brother role in your life, he smiles softly as you glare at your father and he thinks you're just as cute as when you were a little toddler struggling to walk on the sandy beach coast of your island.

- As for the human side, they're all in literal wonder of you...which makes sense regarding your hero alias, but when they watched you at work: you impressed everyone while Brunhilde smiled at you and it pissed Zeus off even more when you both shook hands and sent him smug smirks on your faces.

Enemies/People Who Dislike You:

- Ares is a huge hater as I stated before, maybe you humiliated him in the past in front of Zeus, or maybe it was that one time you stole his helmet in a fight and became the New Goddess of War for a while but either way: you and him should never be in the same room together because not even the Gods can predict that disaster.

- Loki thought the rope thing was kinda hot but found out the hard way WHY it was called the Lasso of Truth. Even when he is shaped shifted, he will revert to his normal form if you ever catch him with it AND YOU ALWAYS FUCKING DO. He also can't even try and mislead you by telling you half truths because he just blurts out the truth right away. Everyone absolutely adores you for it, ngl since Loki doesn't even bother pulling tricks when you're around and when he sees you fight for humanity, he throws a huge tantrum...He still finds the rope thing hot tho...

- Zeus. He has conflicted feelings for you, he does love you but he wishes you wouldn't always go against his wishes...though he supposes thats what he gets for having your mother raise you instead of him. You show him respect but you clearly harbour bitter feelings for him betraying your trust and wanting to wipe out humanity and he understands that. It still doesn't give you the right to laugh about him with Brunhilde and he'll be sure to get you back for it.

Allies/Friends Who Trust You:

- Brunhilde is honestly a good friend of yours, I genuinely think she sees you the same way she sees Hercules but she relates to you a little more. (The Valkyries and Amazon's would have martinis on the beaches of Themyscira, fight me on that-)

- Shiva, honestly. He likes that you're strict but you can definetly be fun and silly in your own way. You honestly remind him of Rudra, who he totally tries to set you up with so because you two really have a lot in common!

- Obviously Hercules, Hermes, and Aphrodite but also: Poseidon, surprisingly...sometimes. Again, he does soften a bit when it comes to you and he wonders if you're simply stubborn and brave or stubborn and stupid. You are his favorite niece but also, the one that causes him to roll his eyes the most.

- Honestly, all of the Valkyries. When you heard about Brunhilde and her Völundr's, you knew that it was clever but also: that you couldn't just stand to let your fellow sisters in battle fall, the odds being against them. Also, the will all hug you and tackle you to the ground.

- Sasaki Kojiro is a human you take a liking too, he reminds you of a friend whose clad in all black...except he's more cheerful and happy and might have lost in life, but still: he never gives up. You admire those skills in a human and he gets all shy and flustered when you compliment him but I can totally see the both of you practicing sword fights and even moments where he beats you, which you're proud of him for doing, honestly.

- Adam. He genuinely just is the dad Zeus never was, even though you're not one of his own children, he'll fight like you are. Tbh, the only man that deserves to set foot in Themyscira and the other Amazon's would agree. Eve also gossiping with your Hippolyta in the crowd and complimenting her on raising such a wonderful daughter and they talk about mom things.

Admirers/Characters Who Have a Crush on You:

- Thor, just straight up. Since you're a fellow immortal, you two have somewhat known each other, you didn't really care much for the godly affairs so it wasn't often, but he's had the biggest crush on you. When he saw you fight so fearlessly in the crowd, those feelings came back 10 fold. Definetly wants to fight you because that's his way of flirting. Zeus and Odin 100% want to pair you two together to create an official alliance and while Thor wants you to choose him out of your own volition, he will suggest that it is a good idea.

- Jack the Ripper. HE HAS BISEXUAL PANIC BECAUSE HERCULES WAS ALREADY SOKIND TO HIM BUT YOU?? OH, YOU'RE TRULY DESERVING OF THE TITLE OF GODDESS, your color is so gorgeous; filled with such love and passion. After his battle, after he killed Hercules, he is ashamed to face you. But, amazingly, you do not look at him in disgust or shame. You kneel down and gently hold his face, you are in mourning, but you still kiss his head gently and tell him: "You fought well. Rest." and he just short circuits as you begin to carry him.

- BUDDHA, BABY. He loves how serious you are but also, that you can be pretty goofy honestly. Also loves how you stand up to Zeus constantly. Not to mention he certainly has a thing for strong women. But also, he finds your work inspiring, trying to guide humanity to a better life of enlightment. HIPPOLYTA ALSO TRYING TO SET YOU TWO UP BECAUSE SHE'S A COOL MOM AND SHE'S ALL: "You know, that Buddha has been staring at you~" and you have to be all: "MOTHER!" And he walks over to you and offers you a snack and you take it. Zeus hates him because he thinks Buddha would be a "bad influence" on you.

#Record of Ragnarok x reader #crossover #Recreational Crossovers #record of ragnarok #ror x reader #shuumatsu no valkyrie x reader #snv x reader #ror buddha x reader #ror buddha #ror thor x reader #ror thor #ror jack the ripper x reader #ror jack the ripper

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chungmyunglover · 1 month

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An AU?

Amity Park is not only the descendants of witches but also kryptonians.

The twin is a ghost/Kryptonian town. The town has a bunch of questionable traditions. Superman mentions this to his ai and the ai says the traditions are Kryptonian. When people see Superman in this little town with no significance whatsoever(uh..excuse you!Amity is the eldest between Gotham and Metropolis.Between the triplet cities,Amity is the one who always helped them get back to their feet disaster after disaster. The one who holds real power between the 3 of them is Amity ) ,they dig for info.

And what do you know!!

MOST HAUNTED PLACE IN AMERICA

ELDEST OF THE TRIPLET CITIES.

KRYPTONIAN ORIGIN TOWN

GATEWAY TO THE REALMS

GHOST TOWN

KRYPTONIAN GHOST TOWN

They see Superman cry on screen.

The town is not only a KRYPTONIAN Ghost Town.

It is a

DEMIGOD GHOST TOWN

DEMI-HUMAN GHOST TOWN

WITCH GHOST TOWN

ALIEN GHOST TOWN

SUPERNATURAL GHOST TOWN

PARANORMAL GHOST TOWN

Anyone or anything that has tried to hunt any of them for sport is never seen again.

Amity is very protective of her inhabitants even the one no longer breathing or weren't breathing at all. Amity welcomes anyone that loves her people and protects them. Her knights never leave even after they make it big. They'd rather stay in the place that welcomed them when nowhere and no one else wouldn't.

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wackachewbacca · 9 months

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A gentle reminder for all critters

Everyone and I mean every single person in the group Vox Machina is QUEER. No one is straight!

Vax’ildan is practically the poster child for bisexual disaster for this whole party. He’s flirted with: Gilmore, Percy, both of the Briarwoods in the incident that earned him the said title bisexual disaster, and Keyleth who became his partner.

Vex’ahlia is probably also bisexual based on encounters with Keyleth and possibly also Zahra.

Keyleth is demi and possibly also bisexual/pansexual based on her encounters with Vex’ahlia.

Percy is bisexual/pansexual. He’s been kissed by both Vex’ahlia and Vax’ildan, and been flirted with by Taryon Darrington which he didn’t mind and the two of them became friends afterwards.

Scanlan is pansexual. He’s been with multiple genders according to campaign and the show. He also flirts with Percy at one point under the effects of a charm effect which could only happen if you were attracted to the gender of the person.

Pike is bisexual/pansexual. According to campaign, she has spent time with women.

Grog probably also falls somewhere under demiromantic or possibly aromantic. He’s not really into romance altogether, but he enjoys sex with people of the opposite gender from him.

Taryon is gay. He has had a prior relationship to a man and confessed to being in love with Percy. He does not care for romantic or sexual relationships with women.

I know it’s been some time since we’ve seen them all during their romantic relationships but they are all queer. And just because most of them ended up in relationships with people of the opposite gender from them does not make them being queer less valid. They are in queer relationships and denying it and saying they’re straight is erasure of the identities each member belongs to.

#and this is not to exclude the many headcanons from the fandom especially ones such as both of the twins are trans #you are all so valid and I hope you get god sleep at night #and the vexleth shippers as well you guys were looking toward the future #this is not to call anyone out I think we all need the reminder #I think it’s been so long for some of us that we don’t think or remember them being very queer #critical role #cr spoilers #vox machina spoilers #vox machina #vaxildan #vexahlia #keyleth #percy de rolo #scanlan shorthalt #pike trickfoot #grog strongjaw #taryon darrington

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bidisasterevankinard · 16 days

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I had this idea about how bucktommy and buddie both can still win if 911 will give us this:

First, I'll star with Eddie. The man with catholic guilt, problems with commitment, the guy who can have sex, but can easily find the reason not to have it and the man who scared to be alone eventually. How i can see Eddie winning? he understand he is demi/ace/aroace and stops trying to date people just because he is scared to be alone. Why he will not stay alone? because he has two friends, two co-parents now: Buck and Tommy

We all know buddie dynamic I shouldn't explain to you how Buck and Eddie created their family and how stayed what way even with all the obstacles. And we all heard no once dating someone you saved it's a recipe for a disaster. But what if buddie are staying platonic Buckley-Diaz family? They are wining. They are unbreakable. They love each other platonically. And they even now Kinard-Buckley-Diaz family.

Now Tommy and Eddie. Two men who easily fall into good friendship based on the shared trauma and interests. And we know Tommy loves how 118 are a family, so why can't he join it, but also joining the little family Buck already has as Buck's new romantic partner? he can

Now Bucktommy. They are romantic love. Each other's last romatic love they were waiting for long and deserve to have. They are a couple who are co-parent Chris with Eddie and are platonic family with Eddie. They are Eddie's friends who will not leave him alone EVER. THEY ARE FAMILY. They love Eddie as a family and a friend

I can see Buck understanding he loved Eddie romantically somewhere in the past but with time his love transformed into platonic and Tommy sees and respects it. he respects Buckley-Diaz family and really ready to enter it to make it bigger. To be new part of it.

So Chris has three father figures who loves him and who loves their dynamic and respect it.

And now just think where in the show you saw a person romantic love with time transform to platonic and they had kids and family and new romantic partner of one of them entered this family, becoming important part of it while loving and respecting their panther's story with their ex-lover and being good fiends, best friends even with said ex-lover? bathena and Michael before David. Buddie already parallel bathena a lot, why they can't again?

Buck is Athena: they loved their ex-lover romatically, but with time it transformed to platonic and they became incredible co-parents and found love in another person

Eddie is Michael: they love their co-parent, but they never romantically loved them. But they love their family, their kids, their co-parent and they respect and love as a family new romantic partner. And they are welcome this partner in the family. they even make sure their co-parent tries to be happy with this person, that they will give this relationships a chance (2x1 and 7x5)

Tommy is Bobby: a person who needs and wants new family and from the start knows he enters a FAMILY with kids in the game but they are ready

So yeah 911 can actually keep bucktommy and buddie and give representation of ace/aroace/ demi person with QPR buddie and romantic bucktommy and friendship between Tommy and Eddie.

They can be family

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buddielove · 23 days

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Just so we’re all CLEAR! This is MY endgame! These two right here.

I don’t care if other people want to jump ship or flip over or whatever. I’ve always been here for the gay fighters, their son and the family we thought they were going to build in season 3/4/5/6.

I do care about how ABC will handle each of their storylines and I do care about both of them working through their issues to a point where when they get together they don’t immediately crash and burn and ruin it for everyone and themselves.

I want Buck to continue to explore his sexuality because I think it is important he be the one to set his own boundaries and explore things independently of his three major influences (Maddie, Eddie, Bobby/118).

I also want Eddie to realize he might be a little Bucksexual (is he gay ?? Is he also bi? Idk! And not to be that dude but they’re 100% not making him pan or demi. Remember this is still a large network which we are not the main audience of, so they likely won’t branch off too far into the LGBTQIA+ terms here. They’re going to go with ‘repressed gay man’ or ‘bisexual disaster’ mark my words) and have to come to terms with himself, his past and what exactly he deserves for his future. I do think that’s going to take several episodes (at least I hope it does) Eddie has baggage as much as it seems everyone would like him to unpack it all and cope preBuddie, as someone with baggage I don’t feel like that’s super realistic! Eddie is allowed to be flawed, broken even and STILL have Buck! They’re not mutually exclusive things.

So here’s my rant and pov. Ik I’m not super active but I’m not leaving cause Buddie is endgame!!

#buddie #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911 spoilers #911 ABC #thanks for listening #lmao

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ghostinthegallery · 3 months

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Second prompt fill for @beril66! Let's have a little fun with this one XD

"Please hold me" for Trazyn/Orikan

###

Solemnace was a planet constantly perched on the precipice of disaster. The wrong stasis breach or mechanical malfunction could spell instant doom for the great museum world. Ashkut faced that reality each day as Solemnace’s Royal Warden. But if Overlord Trazyn decided in his wisdom to house every possible superweapon, demi-god, and monstrosity in the galaxy in once collection, it was Ashkut’s job to ensure he and Solemnace survived the process.

Sometimes he simply wished the job was easier.

The planet’s alarm system alerted Ashkut that there was unusual activity deep within the galleries. Not the display areas, but the “stacks” as the crypteks called the network of storage rooms and study areas near the planet’s inert core. What alarm did not tell him was what kind of unusual activity he might face.

Ashkut summoned a company of immortals to accompany him down the labyrinthine hallways. Perhaps he was being overly cautious. The alert might be nothing. Intruders did not make it this far without Lord Trazyn’s approval—whether or not they knew they had it. Most likely it was a stasis field failure causing the planet to think there was an intruder where there was only a loose exhibit, which more likely than not was harmless. He thanked all the stars they were nowhere near the tyranid wing.

As he turned a corner he stopped short. Two figures stood before a door, arguing in hushed tones. The first was Sannet, nervously rubbing his fingers together. The other was the Huntmaster, who turned towards the warden and his retinue.

“Ah, warden. Perfect timing,” Huntmaster said. “We need a vote to break the tie.”

“Tie?” Ashkut looked between the two fellow members of Solmnace’s court, alarm glyph still flashing in the corner of his vision. “What is going on here?”

Sannet pointed a shaking hand at the door. “Lord Trazyn is inside.”

“Alright,” Ashkut replied slowly.

“He isn’t alone,” Sannet stammered.

That wasn’t exactly unusual. Lord Trazyn occasionally showed people his collection. How willing they were to view it varied, but it was hardly a danger.

Huntmaster jerked his thumb towards the room. “The Diviner’s in there with him.”

“WHAT?” Ashkut roared. “And you two are just standing there?”

He moved to shove past the two fools, but Huntmaster grabbed his shoulder. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you. We heard clanging.”

“Clanging,” Ashkut repeated, trying to figure out how that could possibly be relevant when his lord was currently stuck alone in a room with his mortal enemy.

“Clanging,” Huntmaster confirmed, as if that explained anything.

“It could have been a fight,” Sannet said. “Or…”

“Or not a fight,” Huntmaster said.

“Or that.” Sannet shuddered. “But still, we should check!”

“There’s been no call for aid.”

“That could mean Lord Trazyn is in danger and unable to summon any!” Sannet cried.

“Good point. After you then.” Huntmaster extended his arm. Sannet did not move.

Ashkut snapped, “What are you two talking about?”

Huntmaster tilted his head. “Why warden, I did not think you were so naive. Has no one explained amorous affairs? They can get awfully noisy. I also feel obliged to tell you that typically those engaged prefer not to be disturbed.”

“Are you two trying to tell me that you know Lord Trazyn is inside that room, with a well established enemy, and you two are standing here doing nothing because you cannot decide if they are fighting or….” Ashkut stared at the cryptek and the deathmark in disbelief. “Have you not scried the room?”

“Disabled.” Huntmaster shrugged.

“We did hear something break,” Sannet offered.

“Well there you have it!” Ashkut said. “Lord Trazyn would never allow an artifact on Solemnace to be damaged.”

“That’s the storage room for spare Astartes helmets,” Huntmaster pointed out. “Even his lordship knows he could stand to lose a few of those.”

Ashkut shook his head. “Enough of this. You two may be content to stand out here bickering and neglecting your duties, but I am not.”

He grabbed each one by the shoulder and pulled them apart, clearing the way to the plain, sliding door. He supposed he should not be too harsh with Sannet. Orikan the Diviner’s last intrusion on Solemnace had nearly ended with Sannet torn apart by a hive tyrant. It was only natural the old curator would not want to run into him again. Ashkut had nearly been killed at the astromancer’s hands himself, but that was no excuse not to face him if he threatened Solemnace or its overlord.

Although on the off chance Huntmaster was right, Ashkut left the immortals behind as he commanded the door to open.

The storage room was dark, lined with shelf upon shelf of astartes helmets in every imaginable color. Ashkut could not see the end of them. He stepped forward and drew his warscythe from its dimensional sheath, letting its glow light his path.

His foot hit something solid. A helmet, knocked from its place. There were more littering the floor before him. Ashkut increased the energy flow to his perception suite. Then he heard it. A definite…clanging sound. Ashkut ran towards it, keeping his tread light. He wanted to keep the element of surprise should he need it.

When he rounded a corner he again saw two figures. Though it took him a moment to realize it was in fact two and not one mass of metal. Limbs tangled together, nodes flashed, and loose tiles torn from mantles fell to the floor.

“Bastard,” hissed an unmistakable voice. One of Orikan’s claws raked across his Trazyn’s back, rending his cloak and leaving a shallow gash in the necrodermis below. The warden gripped his weapon tighter.

“Now Orikan.” Trazyn hoisted the cryptek up and shoved him against the wall. “Is that any way to speak to your host?”

Ashkut prepared to charge.

“I want to hear you ask nicely.”

Ashkut paused.

Orikan’s legs wrapped around Trazyn’s waist. Trazyn pressed him harder against the wall, holding him in place as his tail curled around one of the overlord’s legs. Beyond that, Ashkut could not see, but he did hear a noise that he could only liken to a poor quality recording of an animal in heat.

“Please,” Orikan groaned.

“Better, love. Please what?”

“Touch me.”

“Of course.”

“Please, hold me.”

Ashkut suddenly felt the need to check if the ambient temperature in the room had risen.

An interstitial alert appeared in the corner of his vision. He would have ignored it, had it not been appended with Lord Trazyn’s personal seal.

“I am quite sure,” the overlord’s voice said in Ashkut’s head. “That I am currently alone with my guest. But if I turn around and find that we are not alone, whoever I see will be permanently reassigned to cleaning the slaugth exhibit. Do I make myself clear?”

The royal warden believed he managed to break some land speed record in his haste to vacate the room.

When the door slid shut behind him, he was met with two expectant monoculars.

“Lord Trazyn is entertaining a guest,” he said, refusing to meet either of their gazes. “He is not to be disturbed.”

The immortals thankfully continued to stare forward without any comprehension of what was going on. Ashkut envied them. As he marched away he heard Huntmaster nudging Sannet in the ribs.

“I told you so.”

In that moment, Ashkut was sure he became the first necron in history to develop a migraine.

#prompts #necrons #wh40k #trazyn the infinite #orikan the diviner #orizyn #ashkut #huntmaster #sannet #the solemnace crew #i've been wanting to write some silly stuff for the solemnace court for ages i couldn't help myself #these poor guys dealing with Trazyn's shit #is Orikan here to kill everyone or is it a bootycall?#Is it both?#we just don't know

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mahadeoh-blog · 1 month

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Occult Master (Open-world game)

Start Your Revenge!

A supernatural game about demon outbreak that wreaks havoc in New Celeste. Embark on the role of Demi-Angel. With your new powers, confront, defeat, and humiliate those dark creatures!

Open-world Gameplay!

Occult Master is an open-world adventure game that allows you to explore New Celeste, a Victorian-styled city in 2024.

You can explore places like hospital, police station, university, park, even football stadium and houses.

Engaging Dark Adventure!

The demons attack the city and killing the people you love. You can't help but want to take revenge as soon as possible.

Also, not only do you have to protect your life, you also have to maintain the mood, global fear, the health of the buildings, etc.

Formidable and Challenging Adversaries!

Your enemy is not human, but demons who has power beyond reason and very brutal in nature.

You will use your angelic powers to slaughter those demons, bosses, and uncover the truth about this disaster.

Demons that attack include Chupacabras, Wraiths, Ghouls, Vampires, Boogeymen, etc.

Others!

Save and load system, in-game guide that you can read at any time, several mini-games, and more. Oh, there are multiple endings too.

Are You Ready Now?

Occult Master offers a different gameplay sensation compared to twine games in general, because it is more gameplay-based rather than story-based. However, this game may still be far from perfect. So, critical feedbacks are highly expected. If lots of people like it, then Occult Master will continue to get updates such as more locations, more demons, or additional new options on the Main Menu.

#open-world #twine #text based #interactive fiction #adventure #angels #demons #demi-angel #itch.io

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toxicyaoilover · 10 months

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yeah fuck it. the way each saiki k character i care about is queer (i don't think any of them are cishet. not sorry)

saiki kusuo himself: trans (generally masc leaning, though gender is putty able to be molded to whatever), and im tugged between him just generally being queer (undefined) and ace, and aroace. i dont really wanna decide on one, i think both are good :)

nendou riki: just queer !

kaidou shun: transmasc and gay :3c

kuboyasu aren: bi! thats all

hairo kineshi: also just queer!

teruhashi kokomi: im partial to my transmasc hc for her honestly, but i also really love lesbian teruhashi! either way i think shes a woman lover at heart

yumehara chiyo: utter bi disaster.

mera chisato: aroace :3c

toritsuka reita: bi for sure! i really enjoy transfem or just generally gnc tori, but typically in my brain i do tend to default to him being cis. i loooove playing around with the other ideas though :)

aiura mikoto: pan!! i think she loves drag too, for sure an awesome drag king in her spare time

akechi touma: tbh im typically torn between trans and cis for him, but my biases tend to lead me towards trans akechi :) maybe nonbinary, idk, hes just kinda trans to me regardless. either way, hes demi !

saiko metori: just gay. nothing more to it

saiki kuusuke: greyro/ace gay! i really enjoy seeing transfem kuu but thats not my default for him typically

#saiki no psi nan #the disastrous life of saiki k.#toritsuka reita #saiki kusuo #aiura mikoto #saiko metori #yumehara chiyo #teruhashi kokomi #hairo kineshi #nendou riki #nendo riki #kaidou shun #kaido shun #kuboyasu aren #akechi touma #saiki kusuke #saiki kuusuke #the freak speaks #saiki headcanons

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sealeneee · 8 months

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doc from swtor is arospec. here's why.

disclaimer: obviously this is a headcanon. i consider it based on canonical stuff, but there has been no in-game or in-lore mentions of doc's romantic or sexual orientation. i'm also basing this on my experience as an aromantic person, which may not be the same as your experience as an aromantic person. it's also perfectly fine to disagree as long as you're not a fucking dickhead in my notes.

now to the actual reasoning.

he does not get into serious relationships until he meets the knight. there's that story with the twi'lek woman and him abandoning her at their wedding, but we don't really know how that happened. this does not make him less of a dick for doing that, to be clear -- in the context provided by the game there isn't any evidence to support he was justified in doing that. at the same time though, there is very little we know about the whole situation. was he pressured into it by his or his fiancee's relatives? did he not want to be in a relationship, but agreed to it to not hurt her feelings and didn't have the guts to end it until it was too late? was his fiancee just unhinged and organized a wedding without getting the groom-to-be's consent? is doc just an idiot with commitment issues? we don't know. i mean, we do know that he is an idiot (affectionately) with commitment issues, but whether that was the reason for the failed wedding is unknown. i'm kinda derailing, but the point is, the only serious relationship we know of was a disaster and it's not even known how it came to be like that. his romance dialogue also suggests this is the case, from him thinking he's going crazy for actually falling in love with someone, to saying stuff like "normally, i'd kiss you for talking like that. but i'm trying to do this right", which is, again, not definite proof, but substantial evidence for me.

also based on his dialogue, he finds the concept of non-casual relationships weird. "...wookies mate for life. that's not normal!". of course this can just be him being the whore he is, but i don't think your average "sleeps around with everyone" character would find the concept of marriage for life abnormal. not fit for them, sure, but not an insane thing either.

his opinion clearly changes when he is in a relationship with the knight though. he goes from being the guy who thinks marrying for life is insane to being the only romance option in the game to have an on-screen marriage ceremony and even referencing the wookie thing in a positive context this time: "i want us to be together. like the wookies". he also stays completely faithful despite what some people in this fandom try to claim. you know who you are which is admittedly an incredibly low bar to have but it's not like it's completely unprecedented in bioware games sealene please stop the salt and he is still just as madly in love with her as he was seven years ago.

considering his bafflement with what (i assume) is a normal human romantic experience and literally thinking he's going insane for falling in love with someone, i think it's safe to say he could very well be demiromantic. i don't identify as demi myself, so please correct me if i misrepresent the experience, but the definition for demiros is "describes people who do not experience romantic attraction until they have formed a deep emotional connection with someone" which checks out, it takes him about a year and a half (according to the "1 chapter = 1 year "thing) to get to the point where he realizes he has feelings for the knight. checks out.

so yeah. diversity win! the womanizer guy is queer.

#swtor #archiban kimble #swtor doc #'sealene what the fuck' let me be normal in peace ok

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craycray-wolf · 2 months

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I'd like to present...

My LGBTQIA+ headcanons for mcsm!

Enjoy :D

(For clarification, I primarily use red suspenders Jesse for M!Jesse and red hairclip Jesse for F!Jesse in my fan content, so that's who they're going to be here as well! I also use black heart emojis so rip if you have dark mode like me haha. I describe some orientations using the word "sexual" so this is PG13 for legal reasons)

M!Jesse: Gay 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈 He/him but doesn't mind other pronouns

F!Jesse: Polyam bi dork (that leans more toward girls) 💖💜💙 She/her but doesn't mind other pronouns

Olivia: Hetero, but not any less awesome 😉 ❤️ she and red sus Jesse have spent many an hour delighting in boys. She/her

Axel: Our aroace 🖤🩶🤍💚🖤🩶🤍💜 griefer KING 👑 He/they though primarily uses "he"

Petra: Lesbian ❤️🧡🤍🩷💖 she/her

Lukas: Beautiful ambiamorous bi disaster 💖💜💙 he/him

Radar: Questioning (orientation)❓ Trans boy 🏳️‍⚧️ he/him

Jack: Gay~ 🐾🤎🧡💛🤍🩶 🖤 he/him

Nurm: Pan 💖💛💙 he/him

Nell: Non-binary 💛🤍💜🖤 she/they

Ivor: Harpersexual/romantical/platonic. Oh, and hetero 👍

Gabriel: Hetero/lithsexual and romantical but panplatonic 🫂 he/him

Ellegaard: Sapiosexual! Jk. She's probably gray asexual and demi-romantical 💜🩶🤍🩶💜 🖤 🤍💚🩶 she/her

Magnus: Pansexual hetero-romantical 💖💛💙 he/him

Soren: Aroace panplatonic 🖤🩶🤍💚🖤🩶🤍💜 Neutrois 🤍💚🖤 he/him/it/its

Harper: Heterosexual and panromantic 💻 she/her

Now I think most mcsm ships are legit but I primarily like Jesse/Lukas, Jesse/Petra, and Lukesstra (all 3). In my fanfic I use Jesskas and Jesstra/Lukesstra. As for the latter, it's Lukas and Petra being romantic/sexual partners to F!Jesse but platonic partners to each other.

Ig in summary the block people are NOT straight lol.

These are the characters I thought of, but you're free to ask about others!

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bomberqueen17 · 6 months

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assorted, and snippet

it is a rainy sunday. we had a glorious last-gasp-of-summer week, 70s and sunny and lovely, and then last night as the sun went down it suddenly got cold and is going to stay that way.

today's my late father's birthday. he'd've been 79 today. farmsister asked the family groupchat if we wanted to do anything special but like, what? no, so we're just having our normal sunday family dinner. she decided to make enchiladas because while the tomatoes are done, there are still tomatillos, so she's roasting those. i decided to thaw a pork butt and i'll make a sort of al pastor kind of pulled pork for the filling, later. but at the moment i'm out in my cabin, which is a disaster area and needs cleaning. but at the moment i'm just listening to the rain on the metal roof, and i have the propane stove on to get it up to room temperature in here, and i'm dying to take a nap but probably won't.

i told myself i could sit for an hour and maybe write. I sorta don't want to write, I sorta want to fuck around and nap, lol. I'm at a bit in Peace-Tied where I'm trying to fold in stuff I wrote ahead that doesn't quite fit now, so that's complicated-- I've been resorting to using two monitors to have the old doc open in a window so I don't have to tab back and forth. But Fit For Thrones is also in an awkward spot where I wrote stuff ahead and like not a lot has changed, but I realized there needed to be a new thread introduced, so I've got to work that in, and I'm realizing a scene I wrote ages ago that was just fluffy and didn't show a lot of character development is going to have to get overhauled to fit the new concept in, which at this point is just a slight complication but later I wanna hang like a whole plot off it, so it's gotta be here-- if I put it in later it won't have any support and might not really properly hold all the weight it needs to, so. And this scene was just fluff anyway and needs more stuff in it. So that's fine. But it's hard. Because of course all I want to do is skip ahead and write the juicy weighty scene this is gonna support. But if I do that (again, as i've been doing a lot in this series, ugh) i'll get there and it won't fit and i'll have to do more of this fiddly kind of work.

I did only miss Friday's update because I was physically too busy at the time, though. It's the wind-down of the farm season but that just means people have started to peel away to do other things, there's not actually a lot less work, and so those of us left are kind of juggling a lot more balls, even if they're less heavy than they were. (more wittering specifically about FFP behind the cut, and a snippet)

So I have a bunch of stuff allllllmost ready to post, but a bunch of tricky work to do for the continuations of them. There has been a spate lately of very nice comments, some rereaders and some new readers, and I appreciate all of you and it keeps me going, really it does.

I can't find the one, though, someone commented on the latest FFT that they thought Morvran might wind up a bit subby perhaps, and I literally cackled out loud. (Someone else was speculating that he's more traumatized/demi/gray than pure ace, which I also have been trying to convey-- he's ace-spec for sure but gray, is where I'm headed with him.)

I don't think Ciri is going to wind up being particularly domme-y in her preferences-- she also would like a pretty lady to push her around please-- but understand she was raised by a bunch of dommes all around, so I had a very early slightly-cracky notion that she thinks this is how het relationships have to work (this did bear fruit in an outside-of-series published work on AO3 thanks to the Smubbles folks, here: What Every Young Woman Needs)-- but there's an excerpt here I haven't quite yet fit into the FFP continuity, which I suppose I'll put here for everyone's delectation (Ciri POV, of Morvran):

He glanced up only briefly at her arrival, flashing her a quick smile but returning to whatever he was writing, clearly intently focused. She propped a hip on the edge of the desk, waiting, and he finished writing the line and looked up at her. There was something about the way he looked up at her, like this, something open in his expression that usually wasn’t. It sort of made her want to pull his hair, and made her suddenly understand some things about the way her-- Geralt and Yennefer had acted, around one another. She’d always thought Yennefer was perhaps too mean to Geralt, but she could suddenly understand Yennefer’s perspective, and see that maybe it… well maybe it wasn’t being mean. But. She didn’t know Morvran near well enough to offer to pull his hair.

#snippet post #my writing #meet death sitting #the witcher #empress ciri #about the author

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aeor-is-for-reccing · 10 months

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Works In Progress: A Shadowgast Rec List

Check below the cut for nine amazing fics that are still coming out! Check them out, and don't forget to comment or kudos if you like them!

the fourth corner of the world by royalgreen (50775,Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Notes

An alternate TravelerCon arc where Essek is along for the ride

Reccer says: Cool and thoughtful worldbuilding, written during the hiatus so it's different from the canon TravelerCon. Excellent pining, wizards being soft, and Mighty Nein shenanigans.

zwiefacher by VillainIHaveDoneThyMother (94489,Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: Choose Not to Warn, Rape/Non-con

a Bren/Essek scourger au where Essek is the prisoner of Da'leth and Bren is the Annex to Ikithon. Their paths cross, then Bren forgets and meets him all over again.

Reccer says: The worldbuilding is incredible, there is a richness packed into every sentence that presents a stark au version of Rexxentrum and the war. It uses memory loss as a fascinating story device, with some dark and intense moments that keeps you reading. One of my favourites!

disreputable presumptions by hanap (4147,Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: PIV sex

Friends with benefits lawyer AU! Caleb and Essek have a standing appointment for casual sex, and feelings definitely won't get involved..

Reccer says: The pining here is UNMATCHED. Caleb is smitten and trying to hide it, Essek is demi and starting to catch feelings, they're both absolute disasters. And it's always fun to see modern AUs where the author leans into a niche interest/occupation.

oh, sinnerman by SaltCore (26704,Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Suicidal Thoughts

Caleb and Essek are nothing more than allies after their expedition to Aoer. At least that is what Caleb thinks - is he wrong about that?

Reccer says: The emotions, the tension and the heartbreak are excellent!

sleep, with benefits by KmacKatie (39423,Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Notes

Caleb wakes up after the best night of sleep, realising that it's because he's not in his own bed, but Essek's after sleeping with his colleague he's been secretly crushing on for six months.

Reccer says: A delightful fic where Caleb they are both in love with each other but neither of them talks about it and this thing between them is totally casual, no feelings involved at all, they are both detached and professional about this. It lasts for five seconds but they keep being intentionally oblivious about it until they are forced to confront what they mean to each other. It's delightful circumstances full of unsaid moments, and some incredibly hot smut.

kiss me goodbye by LivThael (12182,Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Notes

A modern AU where Caleb and Essek are hooking up, with no feelings involved. Unless?

Reccer says: It's hot and they're both disasters (affectionate)

Meeting you counterclockwise by Chiakery (18130,Teen) Reccer's Content Notes: No Notes

Essek meets a red haired wizard over and over again through his youth, only to encounter a younger version of him later in his life. How is that possible?

Reccer says: It's so much fun to read and a unique view into Essek's youth.

resonance broadening by toneofjoy (15735,Mature) Reccer's Content Notes: No Notes

Shadowgast as labmates who start out hating each other

Reccer says: It's a highly specific AU with plenty of details about academics, and both Caleb and Essek are snarky with one another. There's also a great supporting cast!

a body in absentia by nonwal (9754,Explicit) Reccer's Content Notes: No Notes

A scourger AU where Bren decides to seduce Essek, which turns out to be more complicated (and more rewarding?) than he anticipated.

Reccer says: The banter is witty, the tension is delicious, and Bren is a charming brat. It’s only two chapters in, but the asexual representation is already one of the most interesting and nuanced depictions I’ve seen.

Aeor is for Lovers is an 18+ Shadowgast Discord server. The above fanfic recommendations were pulled from our community for this weekly event. All fics, unless otherwise specified, will primarily feature Shadowgast. And hey! Don’t forget to leave comments and kudos for the lovely authors!

Check out the previous WIPs Recs Lists here [1] Have any questions about what this is? Check out the FAQ! Next week's theme is Learning To Accept Love!

#shadowgast #cr fic recs #fan fiction rec list #aeor is for lovers #critical role fan fiction #caleb widogast #essek thelyss

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ask-the-crimson-king · 4 months

Text

Primarch Sexuality Headcanons

Inspired by this post in which I got very excited to see someone else advocating for an ace-Fulgrim so I'm gonna list my view on the primarch's and their various sexualities.

May do a follow-up on the various captains and other Astartes in the Legions, though that post would get pretty huge pretty fast. I have a lot of opinions.

I invite others to share their perspectives if they have them. For full disclosure, I am coming at this as a homoromantic asexual who is VERY sex-repulsed, so that is, naturally, going to tinge my own perspective.

In Legion order:

Lion El'Johnson - Demisexual or grey-ace, uncertain about romantic interests. I haven't read too much on the Lion, and I know it seems to be popular to make the lad gay, but I don't quite get those vibes from him. I think he prefers women.

Fulgrim - Asexual panromantic. As was said in the thread linked above by the Consortium-human, definitely for aesthetic attraction. He is a peacock in the most literal way possible and I think he'd like his romantic partners to maybe be similar? I can definitely see him dressing them up ostentatiously.

Perturabo - Love the iron hermit, he's definitely a demiromantic asexual. Definitely sex-repulsed. Others would say aro but I could see him being romantically interested in someone if they took the time required for him to see them that way. I don't think gender would matter too much, but I think he'd have a more masc preference.

Jaghatai Khan - Grey-ace or Bisexual king. He's not someone who actively looks for relationships or flings but isn't opposed to them either, if he finds the person attractive.

Leman Russ - Exists in a quantum state between "homosexual bear" and "omnisexual bear". On the one hand, I can see him with basically anyone, but on the other, he gives that rugged sort of "passes as straight lumberjack, is actually gay as hell" type.

Rogal Dorn - Asexual... demiromantic? It's either demi or heteroromantic. Preference towards women or femme-presenting people. Probably sex-repulsed if not sex neutral.

Konrad Curze - Aromantic asexual. Has never had the interest. Has never wanted the interest. Pretty straight forward.

Sanguinius - I feel like it'd be cliche and also wrong to say demiromantic asexual. Aspec for sure. Maybe homoromantic? Maybe biromantic? He's tough to put a good finger on in terms of vibes.

Ferrus Manus - This is a gay man. Homosexual aromantic. I do not think he'd be very into a romantic relationship.

Angron - Heteroromantic asexual. If he ever had the true capacity for romance, anyway. The Nails probably stole it from him.

Roboute Guilliman - This one is tough. I want to say something aspec, as I said before maybe demi or grey. I don't think it's hard ace for him. In terms of a romantic orientation... Tough. I think he'd be interested in trying a date with a man, but I do want to say heteroromantic. Not closing himself off to the possibility of also being into them, but if he is bi-or-panromantic, he still has a preference for femme-presenting people and women.

Mortarion - See, most would probably also assume asexual, and I would maybe agree, but I've always had a thing in the back of my mind where he's just straight. Heterosexual man. Nothing wrong with it. He may be aromantic or just not interested in a relationship.

Magnus the Red - Aromantic asexual, I will say this with my full chest. Not opposed to a relationship, potentially, but would rather sex not be involved.

Horus Lupercal - I've seen some people say he's a bisexual disaster and while I can see where people are coming from, he's always had big asexual vibes, someone who's up for sex if his partners want it but is also just as fine without. Pan/omniromantic for sure though.

Lorgar Aurelian - Asexual for sure. I am consistently flipping between a bunch of different romantic orientations for him. I think he'd be an oriented demiromantic, but on the other hand. Hmm. He's tough. I saw panromantic and I think that is correct. May have a more masc preference though.

Vulkan - I feel like demisexual kinda cheapens him since everyone has flanderized him into being the "friendly" primarch, but it does feel fitting after everything I've read on him. So demi it is. Romantically... tough. Part of me wants to say aromantic. Another part wants to also put him as heteroromantic. One of those two.

Corvus Corax - Heterosexual, probably. I can definitely see him as a Castlevania-Dracula-"if you hurt my wife I will scour the lands and make sure your souls are damned for eternity"-type.

Alpharius/Omegon - It's a mystery, OooOooOO! I'm not gonna cop out like that. Based on what I've read, I see heterosexual aromantic. May be open to experimenting with men or androgenous people, but solidly prefers women as partners.

Bonus Round:

The Emperor of Man and Malcador are gay lovers. I have seen the light. I have read The End and the Death. They are homosexuals.

#primarchs #warhammer 40k #horus heresy #in the grim darkness of the far future the war criminals are queer #most of them anyway

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