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inkskinned · 1 year

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you wanted to be a good friend, because you loved your friends, but the truth was that everyone else somehow had a pamphlet on being normal that you never received. most of the time you learn by trial-and-error. you are terrified of the next big mistake you make, because it seems like the rules are completely arbitrary.

you've learned to keep the prickly parts of your personality in a stormcloud under your bed - as if they're a second version of you; one that will make your friends hate you. it feels feral, burning, ugly.

instead, you have assembled habits based on the statistical likelihood of pleasing others. you're a good listener, which is to say - if you do speak up, you might end up saying the wrong thing and scaring off someone, but people tend to like someone-who-listens. or you've got no true desires or goals, because people like it when you're passive, mutable. you're "not easy to fluster" which is to say - your emotions are fundamentally uninteresting to others around you; so you've learned to control them to a degree that you can no longer really feel them happening.

you have long suspected something is wrong with you, but most of the time, googling doesn't help. you are so-used to helping-yourself, alone and with no handbook. the reek of your real self feels more like a horrible joke - you wake up, and, despite all your preparations, suddenly the whole house is full of smoke. the real you is someone waiting to ruin your other-life, the one where you're normal and happy. the real-self is unpredictable, angry.

your real self snarls when people infantilize the whole situation. because if you were really suffering, everyone seems to think you'd be completely unable to cope. but you already learned the rules, so you do know how to cope, and you have fucking been coping. it's not black-and-white. it's not that you are healed during the other times - it's just that you're able to fucking try. and honestly, whenever you show symptoms, it's a really fucking bad sign.

because the symptoms you have are ugly and unmanageable for others. your symptoms aren't waifish white girl things. they're annoying and complicated. they will be the subject of so many pretentious instagram reels. if they cared about you, they'd just show up on time. you care, a lot, so deeply it burns you. you like to picture a world where the comments read if they loved you, they'd never need glasses to see. but since that's a rule you've seen repeated - "one must never be late or you are a bad friend" - you constantly worry about being late and leave agonizingly early. there are no words for how you feel when you're still late; no matter how hard you were trying.

so you have to make up for it. you have to make up for that little horrible real you that you keep locked in a cabinet. you are bad at answering emails so every project you make has to be perfect. you are weird and sensitive so you have to learn to be funny and interesting. you are an inconvenience to others, so you become as smooth as possible, buffing out all the rough parts.

all this. all this. so people can pass their hands over you and just tell you just the once -how good you are. you're a good friend. you're loveable.

#spilled ink #woke up at 530 to write this lmafo #me in a cold sweat:#how do i be normal #edit in the tags:#hey so i've seen y'all talk about like ... wondering if ur ''allowed'' to relate #like if this is about X specific diagnosis #and when i first posted it i really almost labelled it ''please don't assume this is about a specific condition''#because as an artist i am often walking this line of discussing a symptom or discussing my conditions etc #and sometimes yes ! i do want to talk about an experience that is specific to who i am and my condition #but sometimes the effort of the post is about the EXPERIENCE rather than the diagnosis #because yes i am not neurotypical and as a result that influences my work but it is ALSO true that there are many reasons #why someone might experience this particular vague horrible feeling that you are... almost being CHASED by what you ''really'' are.#that you're outrunning your symptoms... that you're not really normal you're just sort of a mockery of a person #.... that's a really isolating and horrible way to feel no matter why you are feeling it. and the nature of this PARTICULAR post is that #it is inherently talking ABOUT that sense of isolation & of feeling not-deserving & of minimizing your own experiences to make urself #palatable for society in a way that others find easy-to-deal-with....#this post is about a certain experience such that my impression is there's a higher likelihood that those who relate #would have more difficulty thinking they ''deserve'' to relate - that it doesn't REALLY belong to them #bc often we are the kind of people who are SO used to being alienated and set aside and ''different'' that we AUTOMATICALLY assume #that things are not ''for'' us... they never have been why would it start now #we are the kinds of people to be ... ''too normal for X diagnosis but too symptomatic to be normal''#[or as this post points out... so good at ''coping''/masking/hiding it that we essentially conform to whatever shape we're poured into]#but i have witnessed others already say in the tags ''thought this was about me but it's about X so it can't be''#and im like ... of course it was about you.#art is not a resource that is diminished by greater appreciation .#you reflect in whatever mirror fits your frame. not just the ones in your bedroom. not just the ones i specifically give you.#there will be - and often are - times that i will talk about my specific conditions... but if you're reading this #regardless of why you're here... we are here together. holding hands through space and time. and i love you for carrying it #and i know you're exhausted. i am too. but i understand. and i see you.

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ganondoodle · 5 months

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Sonia redesign + Zelda (ancient)

she is the one to seal ganondorf in an intentionally cruel way to take revenge for him killing rauru

she also had a daughter from a previous marriage that she named Zelda after an ancient legend from long forgotten times; while she technically had both time and light powers, she could only take ahold of one (struggeling to grasp a certain power you are pressured to awaken reference ;) ) which is time, it was not the one she was supposed to manifest as her status was always associated with light, in her younger years she was often looked down upon but despite that later proved to be a capable leader

shortly after her first marriage was ended rauru and the rest of the remaining sonau (engl zonai) came from the underground to warn the folks living on the surface from a great evil that was told about in ancient texts they had found while mining desperately for the stones they had grown reliant on for survival

this warning later evolves into the plan to seal ganondorf away before he could even become a threat, through all those discussion and planning sonia and rauru grew closer and eventually married; the plan was to be executed in secret to give ganondorf no time to even consider to reveal what demon they believed he really was, but the secret got out and ganondorf enacted a counterattack in the form of stealing one of the enigma stones in order to put pressure on the hyrulian kingdom, but he gets betrayed by the gerudo that will be their sage in the last confrontation, however in the time that the gerudo sage takes to warn sonia and mobilize to save rauru ganondorf has already confronted him and though he did not plan to kill him he does so, more on accident really, as rauru did not listen to a single word he said but instead acted erratic like a helpless man trapped in a cage with a hungry bear, essentially starting a fight of life and death

when sonia arrives at the scene it is already to late; thanks to the enigma stone ganondorf can escape her grief-striken rage but sonia is out for revenge and sees him killing rauru as proof of the warnings of old, she wages war and at the end seals ganondorf in a cruel cage between life and death, even at the cost of her own life

her daughter, having witnessed it all, grows up bitter and determined to make hyrule a kingdom that will never fall again

(totk rewritten project)

#ganondoodles #zelda #art #ganondoodles rewrites totk #sonia #i also thought about (ancient) zelda being bitter as she is #imposing the rule that the remaining gerudo may not live with their husbands within the city #both as a punishment and to keep them from rising up against her kingdom #but i wasnt confident enough in that #so im writing it in the tags instead #its not relevant to the story but i think those gerudo rules are kinda weird and wanted to give a reason to it #in one way or another #anyway #lost motivation halfway through drawing this bc i again set rules upon myself as to how i am allowed to draw and it sucked the fun out of i #ikd if i should have put all that lore on this too #but it felt without context without it

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twisting-in-wonderland · 1 year

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let! him! have! his! octopus! plush! >:[

(messy extra stuff----)

meanwhile,back at NRC:

(+ here’s a WIP >:] )

#twst #twisted wonderland #jade leech #harveston sledathon #azul ashengrotto #i'm. tagging him because. he's there in spirit in the pic--- and he's under the read more-#ram's art #i mainly used this as a practice for something - which is why it's messyyyyyy #anyways i think he should have been allowed an octopus :[ to limit him to land animals only is mean :[[[[[#also i am. enjoying this event so much fr #oh yea - i sorta tried to wing the fabrics that jade picked----#i. think. at least---#i didn't actually re-read that part so i probably mis-remembered what he picked aha---#oh also also dont look at the sled <3 i sorta . skimmed drawing it #anywaysss mush! mush! little plush octo!!! you can do it!

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fulcrvm · 5 months

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I am thinking thoughts about airports and flying again. And Dreamling, of course.

So. Human AU. History professor Hob has to fly around a lot for work, perhaps for conferences or smth of the sort so it's always to a small handful of the same nearby cities. He's pretty neutral on the idea of flying in general, though he wishes it was a bit more environmentally friendly, but Hob is a sucker for a nice airport and especially a nice airport lounge during layovers or before boarding.

Hob has begun to frequent a small local airline (White Horse Air, the logo is a coat of arms with a little pegasus, wyvern, and hippogriff on it, haha) when traveling because he likes their service (they've never lost his bags, not even once!) and their flights are never fully booked, which makes them quieter and easier for hob's chronic pains. He always picks seats with no one next to him so he can sprawl out and so it's easier on his knees.

Until, one day, he boards the little plane and there's someone in the seat next to his. Hob's sure that when he booked his seat, the other one was empty. Oh well, whatever, Hob's not going to bother the other man already sitting there for one flight— he'll just have to be a little more mindful booking next time. Hob shuffles into the seat, and notices that the stranger sat beside him is reading Sir Thomas Malory's Le Morte d'Arthur! Hob gets excited because! That's a William Caxton publication! And Hob has so much to say about Caxton! He turns to the stranger to strike up conversation about it and... is immediately lost at how pretty the stranger is. Handsome, gorgeous, yes of course, but pretty, with the shell pink lips and focused blue eyes and slight frown at the book in his hands. Hob picks up his metaphorical jaw off the metaphorical ground and strikes up conversation with the stranger. Though the other man starts off apprehensive, somehow the two hours of flying fly by and the two of them end up talking about all sorts of art, history, and everything in between. Hob learns that the stranger works in publishing, thus his interest in Caxton.

Their flight lands, and the two of them disembark at the gate, still attempting to continue their conversation while Hob tries to wrangle his carry-on bags. (The Stranger only has a small laptop bag on one shoulder and a suit jacket folded over his other arm with him.) Then Hob has to check the time and begrudgingly says that he should probably head towards his next gate soon— this is just a layover after all. The Stranger looks ever so slightly disappointed and admits that this is his actual destination and he needs to meet his sister soon. They part ways, and Hob tries to dwell on the strange warmth in his chest. He thinks about the Stranger for his entire work trip afterwards.

This, somehow, happens a couple times. Turns out they both frequent White Horse Air, and though they're never in booked seats next to each other again, the flights are always empty enough that they can shift to sit next to each other once the plane's in the air. They chat the flight away, and then part ways once they disembark, with the Stranger headed to the baggage claim and Hob to his next flight. One time, the Stranger even requests the hostess to bring out a special bottle of Chateau Lafitte 1828 just for the two of them to share. Hob's in awe. He really enjoys their conversations, it's nice to be able to talk about his interests in a non-academia environment. The Stranger always has the most intriguing and eye-opening perspectives on everything, too. It doesn't really help that Hob thinks... maybe he's developing a tiny, teeny, really inconsequential really crush on his Stranger. He's not in grade school anymore, how does he feel like this about someone he doesn't even know the name of yet!

This all comes to a head when Hob mentions to the Stranger that his layover is a bit longer than it usually is, and if the Stranger is in no rush, they can continue their conversation in one of the airport's lounges. White Horse Air is a bit too small an airline to have their own lounge, but Hob's collected enough miles to get into one of the other airline lounges and is fully willing to pay to get in one if it means more time with his Stranger.

The Stranger is extremely enthusiastic about the idea— which shows up physically as a subtle, coy upturning at the corner of his mouth and a little sparkle in his eye. (Hob feels proud that he can read this reaction so well.) He's so enthusiastic, in fact, that the Stranger offers to get them both into a first-class lounge. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes.

Let's just say they get to the lounge, split some cheese and wine, and the proceed to get even more enthusiastic with each other in a private room. Hob's lucky he brought a change of clothes in his carry-on. (Maybe Hob's not so lucky and can't sit comfortably during his next three-hour flight.)

Hob gets a bit emotional when he has to leave for his next flight (already missing being able to hold his Stranger's face so gently, being able to card his fingers through his soft, smokey hair) and gets his guts together to ask if the Stranger wants to exchange phone numbers or something, so they can be in contact more regularly. Perhaps even, meet on purpose maybe? The Stranger smiles and kisses him lightly on the cheek when he slips a business card into Hob's hand.

Hob's so caught up in it all that he doesn't check the business card until he's fully boarded and sat on his next flight. And he gawks.

Morpheus Aion The Dreaming Publishing House

As in, one of White Horse Air's biggest shareholders? Aion, as in, probably the sibling of Teleute Aion? As in, Teleute Aion, the CEO of White Horse Air?! Hob almost passes out.

In the end, Morpheus and Hob laugh it out. Morpheus promises he never abused his sibling privileges to invade Hob's privacy, but used the sibling perks to frequent White Horse Air flights a little more than he even needed to just for the chance to see Hob again. They're both happy to not need to keep flying just for that chance anymore, haha. Idiots in love! Turns out, while Teleute lives where Hob keeps having his layovers, Morpheus and Hob actually live just a few hours driving from each other from their shared initial departure location. It all works out perfectly, and Morpheus self-restraint from inviting Hob to move in (so they don't have to keep travelling to see each other, no matter how small) lasts not even a year after they officially start dating. Hob doesn't even pretend to hesitate to say yes :)

(Years down the line, much after they're married, Hob finally has enough miles to get them back into those first-class lounges to have more fun. It's all very lovely.)

#my thought process was “can i get them to fuck in an airport lounge room” and then i never even wrote that part #guess what i am also a sucker for a nice airport and an even nicer airport lounge. i am yearning for a nice flight rn #i genuinely love flying so much. not domestic travel but international travel is what my entire life revolves around and i am allowed to #romanticise it a little bit haha #anyway #(me describing morpheus' lips with a guitar color) ah yes literature #how the hell do i tag this #i dont usually post idea dumps like this but i have no where else to put it haha #i'd love to write it but i dont think i'd know how to approach this lol #if anyone wants to take this as a prompt go ahead!!#the sandman #dreamling #dc #rex speaks #rex writes #(?)#long post

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survivalove · 5 months

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blah blah something something about how fandom gravitate towards more individualistic characters because they’re easier to understand compared to community-oriented characters whose character development is very much tied to their culture/nation because understanding a single character is easier to understand than a character AND an entire culture, especially when said culture is based off a marginalized community that exists in real life 🫠 and said fandom is majority WHITE.

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pseudokap · 6 months

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just an absolute MASSIVE HUGE HUMONGUS GIANT jrwi doodle/sketch/idk dump from all my sudden bursts of motivation INCOMING TAKE COVER HIDE STOP DROP AND ROLL

yeah they are all headshots (except for one)!!! What about it (falls over. imposter syndrome GO)

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mintypsii · 21 days

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pudding my darling daughter

#I LOVE HER SM NEVER SPEAK ON MY GIRL #oda could've given us sanji bonding over food with his new bestie that he just trauma bonded with over their shared family issues but alas #anyways if oda wasn't a coward they would've stayed in touch to swap recipes and stuff #also NOT SHIP i will KRILL YOU #op #one piece #my art #mintart #art #sanji #vinsmoke sanji #pudding #charlotte pudding #whole cake island #wci #monkey d luffy #guys am i allowed to tag this as lusan im doing it anyways IDC!!!!!#lusan #sanlu

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leounderseas · 2 months

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This is the most self indulgent thing I've drawn but idc, here's Marge in some of Ken's fits from the Barbie movie

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baldwinboy5ive · 6 months

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Some friends and I were laughing about how nobody gave a shit that Baldur died, hahah. Well, Arlan did, but nobody in our party gave one single shit hahahaha. Raine was (rightfully) 1000% more focused on "What the hell, you were lying to me the whole time?!"

anyway so I had to make this and I was laughing basically the entire time I was drawing it

(This art is even more relevant after book 2 where Aerin straight up is just like, no regrets whatsoever about this murder, hahahaa. He really goes “If I could do it all over again, I absolutely without hesitation would, no doubt,” hahahha. Good for him.)

#blades of light and shadow #playchoices #aerin valleros #am i allowed to tag this as #aerin x mc #cause it kind of is really haha #she looks very amused okay #she’s like… you know… ‘good for him’ about Aerin really #my art #this art is also even more relevant after book 2 where Aerin just straight up has no regrets about this murder LMAO

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akiramona · 2 months

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Photographer unknown, as well as his fate.

I had way more passion going into this, but then it kinda fizzled away, so they look like they're missing something ^^" though it made me consider studying up some light values and perspectives which is progress I'd say xD (but I'll show you what I mean in the next art post hopefully 👀)

Please forgive me the creative librety of Making Katja more edgy and putting a hat on Erissa (i have no emotional tie to her yet, therefore i think you deserve a hat (cuz she had it in her concept sometimes and i was like--- yo, wouldn't that be a nice touch!))--- i was too lazy to experiment with the crocheting so--- it looks the way it does ^^"

Also, thanks y'all for the support under the last art I posted! It means a lot to me hearing that you like what I am doing ^^

#ssoblr #sso #starstable online #star stable #dark riders #ms paint #art #or like... am i allowed to use this tag?#fanart #sso fanart #i hope i captured Sabine's greasy hair right #i actually think it's supposed to be a braid?#like a really tight one #who braids her hair?? i need to know #also #the background is supposed to be garnok coded #but i dislike it had to be pink >:(#therefore it isn't xD

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inkskinned · 2 years

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i hate how commodity and capitalism has ruined so much storytelling . i hate how sequels and prequels and whatever else all ring like merch sales; i hate that i as an author have to include any social media following i have as a marketable trait; i hate that everything feels like a xerox of a copy of a dream of a memory.

i hate that my nostalgia has been turned into profit. i hate that companies fear consumer backlash so no real commentary may be made; i hate that companies care more about quantity over quality. i hate that so many artists and creators are being overworked to the point of complete collapse rather than being allowed to tell the story their way. i hate that every point of representation has to be fought for. i hate it i want us all to go back to living in a cave .

when you sit with friends over a bonfire and the night is getting long and people start telling this slow, almost hypnotic story - in this quiet voice, like they don't expect you to listen while they say the most fucked up shit you've ever heard - that is storytelling. who cares if the punchline is car hand hook door. storytelling has always been about community, about us all sitting in the dark, choosing to fill the silence while the last embers are dying. we forgot that storytelling is spellwork. hallucinating together, our breaths held, waiting for the ending we already knew was coming.

#this is specifically due to my rage and undying hatred of megacorporation #disney.#and specifically bc i think there COULD have been a really good series of new #dinosaur island t rex movies #if they had just fucking gone the distance #stopped with the fucking bad CGI #and made the whole thing about late-stage capitalism #do you wanna know what would ACTUALLY sell and work on the big screen more than a trex screaming in front of a volcano #(u absolute jerkweeds)?#so they've rebuilt the island and the park. but the narrative is 100%#that nobody wants to fucking work there and it feels AT BEST cult-like and insular. nobody is paid well for this #at EVERY possible place they are cutting corners. the dinosaurs might have higher walls #but the handlers are paid 5.34 an hour due to island laws. the corporation has RFID tags in their costumes which they are forced to wear #the employees are not allowed to drink water in 120 degree heat bc it would be upsetting to guests #u know real things i experienced working for disney #(but it was 8.90)#anyway it turns out the park CEO knew the risks and just didnt care bc bottom line BAYBEE.#it would be so much more sobering and fucking GOOD if it was like. scientists being like ''i am an environmental scientist''#''after the epa was slashed this is literally the only job i could find. i literally HAD to take it or i couldn't feed my family.''#''i hate what i do. i am disgusted by it. i literally CANNOT STOP because the company also charges us 400 dollars a week to live here''#the dinosaurs escape EARLY in my movie. like minute 45. and then... 1 week later #the park reopens.#half the staff are missing. they're just fucking gone. it doesn't matter tho the company tells everyone to work 2x as hard #that those people weren't loyal enough or they are tragic heroes bc they died doing what they love #and the movie isn't like ''wow dinosaurs scary!!!'' it's...#that in a global fucking pandemic disney kept sacrificing employees.#but it'll be disguised bc the pandemic will be dinosaurs.#this my beloved is what we call an ALLEGORY but unfortunately certain companies have never heard of them #allegories require critical thinking and that doesn't test well with audiences

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kaladinkholins · 3 months

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BRB thinking thoughts about Taigen's character, the TaiMizu ship, and a big chunk of fandom's perceptions regarding both those things.

(Inspired by @farintonorth's post related to this topic that just got my brain going brrrrr)

OK so let me just... start off by saying that I think that reducing stories to their tropes is seriously detrimental to the way some people are interacting with fiction, and while that honestly warrants its own post about the subject, I wanna talk specifically about how this affects the way some people in the fandom talk about Taigen and TaiMizu.

Because yeah, tropes are useful shorthand to refer to certain dynamics or archetypes etc, and they are indeed the building blocks to any story. But in a well-written story, characters and their relationships, actions, and motivations, are much more complex than just tropes. Because in a story that has characters who are more than just cardboard cutouts, their behaviours, backgrounds, motivations and all of that, are inseparable from the context of the overall story they exist in.

So like, sure, you can say Mizu and Taigen have an enemies-to-lovers or rivals-to-lovers dynamic. I also use those terms because it's easier. But I also think this is where things start to get a bit twisted, especially from an intertextual sense. Because "enemies-to-lovers" is also commonly used to refer to other ships in other media, whereby it tends to be rooted in an imbalanced power dynamic, such as oppressor-oppressed and bully-victim.

And while that's a whole can of worms that I won't be getting into because it can quickly derail into a whole separate sort of fandom discourse, I'd just like to make it clear that Mizu and Taigen, in particular, do not have an imbalanced power dynamic. They are not bully-victim or oppressor-oppressed. The only understandable reason why someone might actually think their relationship is imbalanced is if

A) they only watched the first episode, or

B) they cannot grasp the slightest bit of nuance in a character, or

C) they're being obtuse on purpose simply because the Mizu/Taigen relationship, or Taigen's character in general, just doesn't suit their tastes.

While yes, Taigen, along with his whole gang, had bullied Mizu when they were children, that dynamic does not exist between them whatsoever in adulthood. Whatever imbalanced bully-victim power dynamic that had once existed between them was decisively ripped apart the moment Mizu beat him in that duel in the dojo, and then completely obliterated by the end of the season.

Mizu is not a defenseless victim at Taigen's mercy. Mizu can beat Taigen's ass any time she wants (and she DOES, repeatedly in fact), and could even kill him if she felt like it. She taunts him openly and without fear ("I like your hair"; "I can beat you with any weapon you choose") and all he does is bark back, because that's pretty much all Taigen ever does. Time and time again, he yaps about how much he wants to kill her, but time and time again, his actions prove that all of it is just an empty threat. Because though his words say "I hate you", his actions demonstrate the complete opposite. He's shown how protective he is of Mizu, how unhesitatingly he sacrifices himself up for her, how loyal he is in enduring days-long torture to not give up information about her, how even when near-death and in pain, he's still willing to keep standing back up so he can fight by her side and help her win against her enemies.

And Mizu is not an idiot! She sees that too. She does not see him as a threat, an enemy, or even a bully. Especially not by the end of Episode 3, and definitely not by the end of the season. When she finds him in the dungeon in Episode 6, she smiles from relief, and doesn't think twice to take him with her. Mizu finds him, at best, an annoyance, or at worst, an infuriating hindrance on her quest for vengeance. Which is why, when Taigen is about to say, "It's a shame our duel's set for tomorrow; I have to kill you before you get your revenge," Mizu whacks him on the head without a second thought before he can even finish his sentence, and leaves him lying unconscious, face-down, in the snow.

And this further emphasises how he does not hold any power over her. There is no abusive power dynamic between them. She is more powerful than him, he knows this, and all he's ever done after they've met up again in adulthood is get his ass whooped by her, get mad about it and pester her and follow her around, get his ass whooped by her some more, and put his life on the line to protect her.

"OOoooOOoooH b-but he called her a demon at the end of Episode 7 and threatened to kill her again!!!" Oh my god. He called her that because he's calling her out on her selfishness to stay silent about her knowledge of Fowler's plans to attack Edo. Because to him, loyalty and honour as a samurai is more important than anything. So in his own brash-and-immature Taigen way, he felt betrayed that Mizu did not hold the same principles. That's why he got angry. He wasn't even that mad about letting Akemi get dragged off by the Tokunobu guards. It was about saving the Shogun and the Shogunate as a whole. That's why the first thing he does in Edo is not find Akemi, but try to warn the Shogun about Fowler's attack.

Look, I'm not defending his stupid ass, of course. Because calling her a demon especially after their cute little wrestling time was obviously rude and inappropriate, especially since words like "demon", "monster" and "Onryo" have had such a deep effect on Mizu throughout her life, and continue to contribute to her self-hatred. But like? That's the fun of realistic and flawed characters, and realistic and flawed relationships. They're not perfect, and it's why we as an audience root for them, wanting to see them work through their shit and find a way to prevail despite it all.

Also, him saying that was in the heat of the moment. He was angry, he felt like his initial belief of who Mizu was—a strong and loyal samurai, just like him—was shattered, and so he lashed out. Was it rude? Definitely. Was it immature of him? Yes, incredibly. But it's also very much in line with his character, because even though he's grown a lot over the course of the season, the show isn't over yet, so obviously his character arc is just beginning, as that is also the case for the other three main characters: Mizu is beginning to accept herself, Akemi is beginning to grow into her position of power, Ringo beginning to train under Master Eiji, while Taigen is beginning to simply be a better person.

On that note, when speaking of Taigen's immaturity, I think that's also one of the main things that people tend to gloss over when it comes to his character. Because when you boil everything down to its bare essentials, Taigen is, essentially, a boy. I've talked about this before, but to reiterate, Taigen very much behaves like an unhealed child. Even as an adult, he is insecure, prone to throwing tantrums, and is desperate to latch onto some material goal in hopes that it will make him feel better—initially he was chasing status/glory/greatness, and then when Mizu tells him that "Nothing comes from being a samurai but death," he immediately decides he wants to run away with Akemi in hopes that he will be happy.

And it's a big step, acknowledging that he doesn't truly want greatness, but had always just assumed it was his only path to a good life. But it's clear he still hasn't really figured it out. Because if he did run off with Akemi to get married and live in the countryside, he still wouldn't be happy. Because he still doesn't know who he really is, or what it is he really wants. Marriage at this moment is the last thing he needs, and as he is now, he would be a pretty awful husband. A simple life would be good for him, but would he be good at a simple life, when he still has so much he needs to work through?

So anyway, what I'm getting at here, is that he's trying and he is learning and growing. So yeah, he is flawed, but honestly? So is Mizu. And the funny thing is that they're flawed in very similar ways.

Because Mizu is also an unhealed child. That's why she's so angry all the time. That's why she pushes people away. That's why she, just like Taigen, is so happy when given the chance to playfully wrestle in the forge, laughing and rolling around like children without shame or pretense.

Again, this shows there is no imbalance between them. They had grown up together as peers from the same town. And while Taigen had had the upper hand back then, because he'd had a gang of other kids with him, that is definitely not the case anymore. Today, they are equally flawed, equally strong, equally skilled swordsmen, and equally bull-headed.

However, yes, Mizu is definitely leagues more mature than Taigen. But she still holds a lot of childhood wounds that mirror Taigen's own. And we see this especially in relation to her mother. Similar to Taigen who had an abusive and alcoholic father, Mizu's Mama was an opium addict and had hit her, berated her, had shaved her head without her consent as a child, and as an adult, had constantly emotionally manipulated and guilt-tripped her. Mizu's love for her Mama was what had driven her to a path of vengeance in the very beginning. And when she'd found out Mama was still alive, she had wanted nothing more than her Mama's love, and it was this alone that pushed her to agree to the marriage with Mikio in the first place. And now, knowing from Fowler that her birth mother is someone else entirely, is what makes her agree to keep him alive and haul his ass to London to seek answers.

Thus, integral to Mizu's self-hatred is also Mizu's intense longing for love and family. Just like Taigen, whose pompousness comes from his insecurity about being the son of a poor fisherman, Mizu's goals are also shaped by who her parents are. Remember, her vengeance is not against just anyone who's corrupt or evil, but specifically against the men who she believes had assaulted her mother, the men she believes had made her a monster, the men she believes had abandoned her to die and continue to try to kill her. Her vengeance is against a father, on behalf of a mother. In The Tale of the Ronin and the Bride, Mizu is not merely the Ronin, the Bride, or the Onryo, but also the Child.

This is also why Ringo is so good, not only for Mizu, but for Taigen as well. Ringo is wise and caring and considerate, but above all, he is in tune with his inner child in ways that Mizu and Taigen are not. He is always earnest and positive, he sees the world with childlike wonder, but is not naive or blind to its ugliness. His whole life has been a battle. Ringo brings out the best in Mizu, consistently acting as her moral compass and conscience, and Mizu's choice to save Akemi in the final episode is only because she promised Ringo that she would. Because it's the right thing to do. Ringo inspires her to be a better person, and to think outside of her narrow-minded goal of revenge. At the same time, Ringo also brings out the best in Taigen. While at first Taigen had looked down on both Mizu and Ringo ("Half-limb to a half-wit"), by the end of the season, he's proud to have Ringo as a friend and ally, he listens to Ringo's advice ("What would Master do?"), and asserts to the fucking Shogun that Ringo is a worthy warrior to have by his side.

Okay, I've gone on a bit of a tangent here, but my main point is that Mizu and Taigen are incredibly similar. They are equals. They are both flawed, unhealed children who are chasing some impossible outlandish goal in hopes that it will fill the void in their hearts. They also both have a long way to go in terms of character development if they were to ever build a healthy romantic relationship (either with each other, or even with anyone else). So while I believe things will be rocky (because duh, it's a story, we all live for the drama, etc), I think with Ringo's help, they'll get there eventually.

#blue eye samurai #blue eye samurai meta #mizu x taigen #taigen x mizu #taimizu #taigen blue eye samurai #mizu blue eye samurai #meta dissertations.pdf #im not a taigen defender. but i AM a taimizu truther #wank.mp3 #sorta #fandom.rtf #shut up haydar #like i KNOW we all love mizu and want her for ourselves but cmon. let's be real here for a second.#ahem. hear ye! put down the delulu for a mere moment!#and ask thyself. why am i beefing with this pathetic bald man? a man who is the definition of a wet rat?#thus. my brother in nerd ass shit. i beg thee put down thy weapon. this man is not worth beefing with! he is literally... just some guy.#yes...he is bitchy. however! he is also a loser obsessed with mizu. remember this. he is not thine enemy. but simply...one of us.#also lmao like jokes aside lemme be clear. you ARE ALLOWED to hate taigen and taimizu all you like!!!! feel free to do so!!!!#but please just acknowledge it's like. a preference thing. like it's just not your cup of tea! thats A-OK!#but please dont insist that the ship is toxic unhealthy abusive etc #but if you still feel the need to do so. then for the love of god just tag your posts as anti-[insert whatever here] so it helps ppl mute #i knew how to tag shit as anti-makorra since i was fourteen! 😭 like it's basic courtesy cmon

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