#adam ruzek fanfic
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𝐒𝐭𝐮𝐜𝐤
*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Female!Reader.
• Requested: no.
• Summary: one of your worst nightmares becomes reality when you find yourself stuck on a ferris wheel. And what makes everything worse, with the person you hate most… Or at least that's what you thought.
• Warnings: maybe few curse words
• Word count: 3,7K.
• A/N: hope you enjoy it! Comment, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated, I love you all <3
A thousand thoughts ran through your brain but all of them ended the same way.
How the hell did I end up in this situation?
Fate must’ve played some tricks, you must’ve committed some crime in your past life because there must’ve been a serious reason why you had found yourself stuck on a damn Ferris wheel. Suspended in the air.
There had to be a reason, because what were the odds that the Ferris wheel would stuck in mid-air just when it was your turn to take a ride.
And there had to be an equally precise reason why, among so many people, it was Adam Ruzek you were stuck with.
God probably hated you, there was no other explanation, he wanted to take revenge for some wrong things you had done and make atonement for your sins.
Why the fuck did you let yourself be convinced to get in that damned killing machine? Whose brilliant idea was it? And why with Adam among everyone?
That evening you had decided to go to a fair with your friends and some of your colleagues including Adam, Jay, Vanessa, Kim and Hailey, a good opportunity to spend time together without there being any robbery or murder to solve.
The atmosphere was light, the fair was overflowing with people who couldn't wait to try all the attractions there. Somehow you managed to avoid everything that required going ‘up’ but couldn’t escape the damn Ferris wheel.
The queue was very long and you had tried several times to escape but the words of your friends convinced you to at least make an attempt since it was quiet and the ride wouldn't last more than five minutes.
The entire Ferris wheel consisted of five small cabins that could accommodate a maximum of two people at a time and you couldn’t even ask to any of them, that the pairs had already been formed and you and Adam found yourselves exchanging annoyed glances, both being the only ones left.
You didn't ignore the giggles and looks your friends sent to both of you, making you realize they had deliberately done it to let you and Adam be alone.
Your relationship with him was, well… Weird, to say at least.
The bickering between you two was the order of the day, there was nothing you said that he didn't laugh at, making fun of you at every chance he got. That man could zap every single nerve in your body and drive you crazy with just one word and you hated him for that.
And the fact you were tremendously attracted to him despite this didn't work in your favor.
He was equally attracted to you, which is why one night – dead drunk – you ended up in his bed and woke up the next day with feelings of guilt and shame and pretended you didn't even know each other. This however didn’t last long as he wasted no time in returning to bother you and argue, making your life at work a living hell.
Adam drove you crazy, he always managed to confuse you, especially when he went from wanting to argue to making sexual jokes and flirting with you and then go back to arguing in a small amount of time.
You hated him, you hated how he made you feel and you hated yourself even more because despite this you couldn't help but be deeply attracted to him, to the point that everyone – both colleagues and your friends – did nothing but tease you and do everything to get you and Adam together, claiming to stop acting stupid because you both clearly wanted each other.
And that's how you ended up stuck on a damn Ferris wheel with the person you most wanted to be away from, about to have a panic attack.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you muttered to yourself when everything stopped suddenly. You looked around, realizing with horror you were several meters above the ground, suspended in mid-air in a cabin that continued to oscillate with every slightest gust of wind.
You pressed your back against the seat, closing your eyes and taking deep breaths, feeling the panic starting to build up inside you.
Saying you were absolutely terrified of heights was an understatement.
Adam, however, remained impassive, only huffing at the annoyance of having to be stuck there and rolled his eyes when he noticed your eyes were closed and you refused to open them. “Oh don't be dramatic now. It’s just a stupid Ferris wheel, we’ll get down soon.”
“Adam just shut the fuck up if you don't have anything smart to say,” you spat through clenched teeth, a mix of emotions between pure terror and anger coursing through you.
Adam chuckled, clearly amused by the situation. “Our little detective is afraid of heights isn't she?”.
He looked at you carefully and saw you open your eyelids as you looked up at the ceiling and continued to take deep breaths. You didn't answer him, that's why he decided continuing to tease you was great idea.
“Stop being a pussy and enjoy the view instead. Don't think I like the idea of being stuck with you either.”
Adam didn't really mean it, he wasn't really mad at you, he just madly loved making you angry and teasing you until you’d explode. You were so hot and sexy when you were angry and all worked up, he couldn't help himself even though he was aware he was being an asshole 99% of the time.
He ignored the part of his conscience that told him this was just a way to get you to stay away from him because he didn't have the strength to do it, because for some absurd reason you attracted him like a moth was attracted to the light.
He tried to convince himself it was just physical attraction, although he knew full well what he felt for you was deeper than that.
But this time you didn't respond to any of his taunts, your fear too strong to even think about what he said.
Adam continued to look at you and noticed the way your chest rose and fell quickly, your breathing was frantic, your hands continued to shake despite being clenched into fists, your gaze fixed on the ceiling. The smirk he had plastered on his face slowly disappeared when he realized it wasn't just a little fear, you were completely terrified.
“You okay?” He tried to ask you stupidly. It was clear you weren’t okay at all.
Anxiety was hardly twisting your stomach you feared you’d vomit on his shoes at any moment. Nausea was paralyzing you and the dizziness made your head spin so much you thought you’d pass out right then and there.
You didn't know why you were so afraid of heights, why the fear paralyzed you to the point you couldn't move a muscle and made your heart beat so fast it almost stopped. You just wanted to go down and put your feet on dry land and kill whoever had convinced you to get on that thing.
“Y/n. You hear me?!” Adam's urgent voice brought you back to reality for a moment. You shook your head, tears pricking your eyes which you kept opening and closing in an attempt to calm yourself a bit.
Adam realized you were about to have a panic attack so without even thinking twice, he knelt down in front of you and placed his hands on your knees, worried. “Hey look at me.”
But you couldn't seem to hear him, your body was there but your mind had flown away.
“Y/n look at me please,” he continued, but kept his voice calm so as not to make the situation worse. You opened your eyes and looked at him, too anxious and terrified to realize what he was doing. His eyes shone as they looked at you with concern, making you think for a few seconds how rare that way of looking at you was.
“Breathe with me okay?” He inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. “Let's do this together, breathe with me. Breathe in…” he said “C’mon, you can do it angel. I’m here with you.”
Your eyes let out some tears and he raised a hand, gently wiping them away and making you lose your mind even more.
“It's okay, you're not alone. I'm right here.”
Was this man really Adam Ruzek? The same Adam who made your life impossible? The same obnoxious Adam?
You couldn’t believe it but you were too scared to react.
“C’mon, breathe with me,” he smiled faintly to encourage you and you nodded, starting to inhale deeply and following him, letting the air out of your lungs.
Your eyes never left each other for a second as he stayed there with you making you take deep breaths, slowly getting your breathing back to a normal pace.
“You're doing great, just keep going,” he murmured as he continued to look at you and smile comfortingly. His thumbs caressed your knees and for some strange, absurd reason this gesture comforted you more than the breathing exercises you had done up until that moment.
“Everything will be fine you hear me? They'll start this piece of junk again and we'll get out of here before you know it. Nothing will happen, you’re safe,” he spoke as his eyes scanned your facial features carefully. He tried to ignore how beautiful you were under those lights, you were so breathtaking and he couldn't stop looking at you. “I won't let anything happen to you.”
What the hell?
I won't let anything happen to you? Really Adam?
You remained silent for a few moments as your blurry eyes got lost in his. You wanted so much to be able to read inside him, to know what he thought, how he felt as he looked at you but you couldn't. God, that man was such a mystery.
You knew he was telling you those things just to make you calm down but you couldn't help but wonder if deep down he really meant those words. For an instant you convinced yourself he did, your heart wanted to think for just a second he had feelings for you.
Adam swallowed the lump in his throat, trying to stop the thoughts that tortured his mind at the moment. His expression seemed calm, but an exhausting battle between was taking place inside him.
He struggled between the desire to have you, to just kiss you right there, and the desire to stay away from you because you truly were the most annoying person on the planet sometimes.
He looked away as he sat next to you on that narrow seat no longer able to maintain eye-contact without fear of doing or saying something stupid.
A sudden gust of wind made the small cabin sway considerably, plunging you into complete panic again and almost making your heart stop beating.
A scream of terror escaped you and before you even realized it, you threw yourself into Adam's arms, looking for some kind of protection.
Adam was a little taken aback at first, not expecting this in any way but he returned that hug, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and holding you tightly to him as his fingers caressed you in an attempt to calm you down.
“Shh it's okay, it was just a little wind. We're fine,” he whispered to you, mentally praying you couldn't hear how hard his heart was beating. That was the first time you had hugged in the years you had known each other and he was about to lose his mind.
“Adam, p-please… I want to get off…” you muttered desperately, your face pressed against his chest as you trembled like a leaf.
His heart sank at the sight. You had always been so strong and brave in his eyes, as if nothing could affect you, so seeing you in that state caused him a sensation he hated, and that he was sure he’d never want to feel again in his life.
“Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. I'm here okay? You’ll be fine, they’re all working to get us all down. I promise it’ll be over soon,” he whispered, stroking your arms and tightening his grip around you even more. “Talk to me, don't shut yourself down.”
“I don’t know what to say…”
“Anything you want, just focus on me.”
You thought about it for a second and told him the first thing that came to mind. “At one point I thought about throwing you off this damn Ferris wheel.”
His chest vibrated as he laughed and you found yourself smiling back, turning serious right back when you realized what you were doing.
Your mind had decided to turn itself off when you realized what was happening: you were hugging Adam and the thing shocked you the most was that you felt really good in his arms. In other moments you probably would’ve walked away but right then you didn't want to think about it, he managed to calm you down and you needed it.
Adam leaned his head against yours, the skin of his cheek slightly pinched by your hair as he involuntarily inhaled the scent of it.
God what am I doing?
What are you doing to me Y/n?
“Well, now is a good time if you want.”
“Don't tempt me, I could actually do it and plead insanity.”
You then took a deep breath as your heartbeat returned to a normal pace and the agitation slowly passed. For the first time since you'd met, you and Adam were able to have a conversation where neither of you let out insults or threatened to put a bullet in the other's foot.
You couldn't understand how much time had passed since the Ferris wheel had stopped but thanks to Adam you managed not to think about it as he talked to you the whole time to keep you distracted.
“Can I ask you a question?” You dared to ask after a small moment of silence. You were still sitting next to each other, his arms around you and your head resting on his chest and you were almost afraid to move, fearing he’d let you go if you did.
“Hmm,” he hummed positively as his eyes looked around the cabin.
“Why do you hate me?” You asked in a voice so low you feared he hadn't heard you, your breath caught in your throat.
“I could ask you the same question.”
“I don't hate you... Well yes, but I hate you because you hate me and because you’ve been an asshole since the first day I joined the team.”
He rolled his eyes. “You’re so dramatic. C’mon...”
“Adam,” you interrupted him with firm tone.
He chuckled. “Okay, okay, maybe just a little bit.”
“And why? I don't think I've ever done anything to you.”
Silence reigned supreme for a few seconds while he reflected on your words, his eyes observing the metallic ceiling.
Why did he hate you?
He had asked himself this many times but he had never been able to give himself an answer. He didn't know the real reason, you were right, you had never done anything to him, you had always been kind to everyone from the first moment. But then why?
Maybe because it easier, maybe because he knew from the very beginning you were going to mess up his whole life so hating you was the best thing he could do to keep you away, to not let himself fall for you.
But however, this inevitably happened against the odds and his will.
You took courage and raised your head slightly to look at him and at that same moment his eyes met yours. You were incredibly close, closer than you ever would’ve been even if you were drunk.
His breath tickled your lips as his eyes looked at you with so much intensity so felt like a thousand-volt electrical discharge went though your body, as if he was somehow trying to read your soul.
What the hell are you thinking about Adam?
His eyes were so hard to read, so enigmatic. They were like a puzzle and you struggled to find the necessary pieces to be able to complete it and understand what he was thinking and feeling.
He moved his gaze between your eyes and your lips, trying to maintain a neutral expression even if every cell in his body screamed to close that little gap and press his lips to yours.
But he couldn't, especially not at that moment.
And, above all, why did he think ‘not at that moment’? Did this mean he actually wanted to kiss you?
It was a question he didn't even try to answer, his mind was too clouded to think logically.
One of his hands moved to your face and with a gentleness you struggled to recognize he caressed your cheek, fixing some small, messy locks of hair. Your breathing stopped and your heart started wildly pounding again, this time not because of the dizziness and the fear of falling down.
You were paralyzed under his intense and magnetic gaze, you wanted so much to be able to say something, to break that deafening silence but the words inevitably died in your throat.
He continued to alternate his gaze between your eyes and your lips, you actually unaware of the internal battle he was eagerly fighting.
Anyone who saw you two would think this was just a romantic moment that a couple in love was sharing, anyone could see the way you both looked at each other and no one would’ve doubted you actually hated each other.
Or at least that's what you thought.
You thought you hated him.
You forced yourself to do it, as if to reciprocate his hatred, because of the way he treated you.
But you didn't hate him, not as much as you wanted to. Sure, he made your blood boil in your veins like very few other people in the world did, there were countless times when you would’ve punched him in the face after some of his pranks, but you couldn't deny how much you desired that man just as intensely.
“What are you thinking about?” He whispered as he continued to covertly caress your face. Suddenly, however, he moved his hand away, making you instantly feel the feeling of emptiness and cold that his touch had left. His fingers trailed down to your hand, still clenched into a fist without realizing it.
“What are you thinking?” You whispered back as you saw his lips part slightly. His fingers lightly caressed your skin, almost as imperceptibly as he had done to your cheek and you relaxed almost instantly, making you subconsciously hate yourself for the way your body responded so easily to him.
“Don't answer a question with another question.” His lips lifted into a small smirk and your heart simultaneously came out of your rib cage and crashed onto the asphalt.
His fingers played with yours for a while, his fingertips dragging over your skin, as if studying every feature and little imperfection. Your stomach twisted on itself as he intertwined his fingers with yours and squeezed your hand, drawing little imaginary circles on it with his thumb.
“Says the one who still haven't answered my initial question,” you replied in the same mischievous tone.
“Touché,” he chuckled “I guess… I just think it was easier.”
You frowned a little bit and he refrained himself from kiss it away.
“Easier?”.
He didn't answer this question, leaving it still hanging in the air. But the he leaned even closer to you, almost imperceptibly but when his lips lightly brushed yours, you forgot what that question was and even your damn name. “Push me away angel.”
You didn't do it even though you knew you had to.
Your brain was aware of it but your body couldn't move, instead it continued to crave his touch, his mouth on yours.
“Why?” you whispered as you brushed your lips against his again, and again, until every part of you exploded in desire and passion.
Were you going to regret it? Probably yes, but in that moment you couldn't care less, you were too caught up and overwhelmed by the hurricane that was Adam Ruzek to be able to think rationally.
“Because I might do something stupid…” he breathed out, having a hard time to keep control of himself, his hands tightening their grip on you. “Fuck… You drive me crazy.”
His lips continued brushing yours, this time in such a way you felt like you were being swallowed up by a hurricane and spat out and then thrown forcefully against a truck. Only a millimeter was missing, just a single one for the kiss you were both waiting and desiring so intensely.
You were both waiting for one of you to pull back, to realize the stupid thing you were about to do but neither of you did, even though you both knew if you crossed this line there would be no turning back. You had already crossed this line, sure, but you actually didn't remember a thing from the night you ended up in his bed.
There would be no alcohol or liquor to blame this time, just your stupid minds and bodies that didn't want to be apart from each other.
However a sudden thud made you literally jump and suddenly move away from him, panic starting to take over again as you feared your time had come. Nevertheless as soon as you realized the Ferris wheel was finally unblocked and it had started to rotate again, you let out a sigh of relief.
When you finally reached the ground, you came out of that cabin at the speed of light, almost bursting into tears when you realized it was really over.
Your gaze followed Adam for a moment, who started talking and laughing with Jay and Kim as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn't been about to kiss you until a few moments before.
Your friends were talking to you and asking how you were but your mind was completely elsewhere, still stuck in the moment when you were so close to him and about to kiss.
His eyes met yours for a moment. He looked at you with such intensity that your knees almost buckled, a little smirk on his lips making your heart drop with anticipation and that was probably the first time you were able to understand his unspoken words.
Whatever happened up there wasn't over.
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I Know You
Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Asian!Reader
Requested: no
Summary: No thanks to her parents' interference, Y/N finds herself having to deal with unwanted advances from an old acquaintance.
Word Count: 1.3K+
Tags/Warnings: established Adam x Reader, arranged marriage, self-indulgent fic (lol)
A/N: First try at a more specific reader background, and I almost didn't let this see the light of day but @sheetsonfire gave her beta services and told me otherwise so here it is!
ADAM RUZEK MASTERLIST
“Y/N!”
You let out an involuntary groan under your breath that only Adam could hear from where he was sitting next to you, prompting him to glance up, his eyes falling on the guy who was pushing his way through the crowd towards you.
You were literally never going to forgive your parents for inflicting this on you. Ever.
Moving to America should have stomped out ancient ideas like arranged marriages a long time ago. And yet, you’d only met Andrew again after more than ten years because they’d disguised the lunch as a catch up with old family friends, with everyone but you knowing what it really was - a matchmaking session. It was like they’d just ignored everything you said about already seeing someone.
Granted, they’d told you that the final decision was yours to make, which meant they weren’t that backward. But even after turning him down multiple times, Andrew was still dancing around you and pushing for you to give him a chance.
You turned your eyes up in a look of exasperation.
“Three times is not a charm.” You snapped, not bothering to hide the distaste in your words. “You’re basically stalking me.”
That definitely struck a chord with Adam as he got to his feet, looking Andrew straight in the eye, his body angled towards him so that he was now standing protectively in front of you, his body practically blocking you from Andrew’s line of vision.
Obviously Adam knew everything. You’d told him the moment you’d finally escaped from that hell of a lunch, and told him every time that Andrew had come looking for you. But this was the first time they were coming face to face and although you’d happily see Adam knock this asshole to his feet, you weren’t willing to let Adam get in trouble for it.
Andrew didn’t even flinch, behaving as if you’d both just offered him a polite hello.
“So is this him?” Andrew asked, looking around Adam towards you and you gritted your teeth. Wherever this was going, it wasn’t going to be pretty.
You glanced along the line of tables, noting with immense gratitude that Jay and Will were just at the next table with Kevin. Whatever was happening seemed to have just caught their attention as Jay raised an eyebrow at you. You discreetly put a finger up to tell Jay to wait and see, to which he just nodded quietly.
Adam gave you a small smile even though you’d ignored him.
“Y/N, come on. You’re a lawyer and he’s a… officer?”
You growled. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
Adam interrupted this time. “Walk away.”
You could hear the intense effort Adam was using not to start throwing punches.
Andrew laughed before addressing Adam. “Have you even thought about it? What kind of life you can give her? With your pitiful paycheck, the hours you spend away from her? You going to let her rough it out with you?”
Was this guy serious?
But your face angled upwards as you realized Adam was hesitating.
You reached over for his hand, quietly slipping your fingers through his.
Adam glanced back at you and you offered him a small smile, the unspoken words between you seeming to set a new resolve in his eyes as he turned back once again to Andrew.
“You can have your high position, place or whatever.”
Andrew paused for a moment but Adam wasn’t done. “I don’t know about high or low places, but my place is next to Y/N.”
You let out a proud grin, squeezing Adam’s hand encouragingly.
A look of anger passed across Andrew’s face, which was Jay and Kevin’s cue to make their presence felt.
Andrew glanced between Adam, Jay and Kevin, as well as Will who had now got to his feet as well. Deciding that it wasn’t worth the fight, Andrew glanced back. “This isn’t over.”
“Yes, it is.” You muttered, pulling Adam back down to sit.
Adam glanced at you after nodding thanks to his friends before he turned back to you.
“Adam Ruzek.”
Adam paused as you called his full name.
“Don’t you ever hesitate. Ever. I wouldn’t trade this for anything in the world.” You warned.
Adam smiled, leaning in to press a kiss to the top of your head. “Let’s go home.”
You nodded, smiling.
It was about a few weeks later when you had been out with Adam that the both of you had run into Andrew again.
Truth be told, you’d already filed him away out of your mind, sure that he’d finally given up and moved on, maybe taken his stupid ass out of America.
So you’d been a little startled when he’d showed up, standing right in your path.
You glanced at Adam before offering him an eyeroll. You were getting really tired of this.
“I am literally going to file for a restraining order.” You directed at him.
“I’ve had it. You’re coming back with me.” Andrew reached over, his hand closing around your wrist as he roughly tugged you towards him.
Your other hand still clasped tightly in Adam’s, you felt a jerk, the opposing force from Adam’s hold on you only jerking you forward a few steps.
“Let her go.” Adam’s voice was low and dangerous, and you could hear it again, the edge between Adam’s composure and him pouncing on a guy right on the street.
You turned up to look at Andrew furiously. You didn’t care if you’d been friends when you were younger, this was getting ridiculous.
But before you could open your mouth, Andrew tugged you towards him even harder.
Adam didn’t move, his grip on you still firm but with opposing forces on both your arms, you hissed. Andrew’s grip on you felt like it was cutting off your blood circulation and you were about certain one of your arms were going to pop off.
Adam glanced at you and without warning, the grip Adam had had on your hand was gone and you stumbled the remaining distance towards Andrew.
You looked back at Adam, who just looked upset.
You glared up at Andrew. “Let me go. Now.”
“Why should I? He was the one who let you go.” Andrew quipped back defensively. “You’re coming with me.”
You felt the white hot anger pulsate through you, and before you knew it, your leg had shot out, hitting him right in the shin. Andrew yelped, instinctively letting your arm go as the pain shot through him and he bent over.
“What do you think I am? A toy?” You growled, marching back towards Adam. “You need me to teach you this? Fine. The only reason Adam let go was because he realized it was hurting me. You were hurting me. You were about to tear me into half Andrew. But you don’t care, do you? You’ve been like that since we were five.”
Andrew opened his mouth to argue but no words came out.
“Adam’s not the problem here. You are. You don’t care if I’m happy, or if I’m uncomfortable. You just want what you want.” You snapped.
Adam glanced at you, taking your hand once again with a small smile. "Thank god.” He whispered.
You smiled, watching as the insecurity dropped off his face now that Adam knew you wouldn't misunderstand the gesture.
“I know you.” You whispered back.
You turned back towards Andrew now. “Try this again Andrew. I’ll get a restraining order so fast, you won’t know what hit you.”
Finally, there was defeat in Andrew’s eyes as he stepped aside.
Adam glanced down at you where you were squashed into his side as the both of you walked back down the street.
You looked up as well, meeting his eyes and Adam pressed a kiss to your temple, both of you knowing that no words needed to be exchanged.
You knew.
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Undercover| 1| One Chicago
masterlist coming soon
@prettyinpayne
Summary: Libby, Adam, Kevin and later Antonio have to go undercover with a crime family that had close ties to the Sanfino, the crime family that Libby’s deceased husband had been involved in and her twin brother Jamie had a hand in taking down. Set before the next volume of Thin Blue Line.
Rated M For Mature
Word count:
****
One
“Alright listen up everyone!” Hank Voight said coming out of his office and looking at his team that was scattered around the bullpen talking lowly with each other as they worked on paperwork.
“We have a major problem. The Sanfino Crime family has hit Chicago and hit us hard.”
“Sanfino?” Libby Reagan asked pushing her chair away from her desk.
Hank nodded his head and looked at her.
“I know them. Michael was involved with them, he all but sold me to Noble.”
“He did what?” Adam Ruzek asked looking at his friend who nodded her head, “he needed a date, and who better else than the wife of his friend and the daughter of the police commissioner? They thought if they had me under their control then it would be easier not to get in trouble.”
Her husband Jay Halstead shook his head angrily, he had heard all about this when they first got together and it upset him.
Her dead husband had taken advantage of her and even though she was a cop she was powerless to do anything.
“But did it stop?” Alvin asked curiously, she only ever told stories about cases that her brothers or grandfather worked but none of hers. It was like she wanted to hide it and hide everything that happened with Michael.
“No. Most of them got locked up and the two grandkids fled New York.” She answered as she stood up and tapped her fingers against her thighs, “The one associate of Noble’s almost killed my twin.”
“What else do you know about Noble?”
“He is a druggie, he would do anything for his next hit.” Libby said as she pulled open the bottom drawer of her desk and pulled out a notebook and handed it to Hank, “I kept information, that I could remember. I kept the notebook, Riker, my partner kept it with his files.”
“Tell them why.”
“I came into work on a Monday morning and someone had gone through my desk. It was Michael. After his first stint in jail, he became more paranoid, jealous, and angry. You name it he was. He didn’t like me working the night shift or working with Riker.”
“How many stents did he do?”
“3. The third one is when he got killed.” Libby answered leaning against Jay’s desk, his fingers catching hers and squeezing them.
“I was at my dad’s house for Sunday dinner and I get this call from the warden telling me that Michael was stabbed and I needed to get down to the hospital. The perks of having the police commissioner as a father we got there at the same time he did. They pronounced him dead after they wheeled him by me.” Libby said using her thumb to move her engagement ring back and forth.
“My family was expecting me to lose control and start crying but I didn’t, I think I was more relieved than anything after everything that he did to me and put me through it was finally over.”
“Did you lose control?” Adam asked.
“Yeah, I finally did after the funeral when my bitch mother-in-law tried to tell me because I started divorce proceedings before Michael was killed that I wasn’t entitled to the life insurance or anything. I flipped.”
“Antonio you remember when Danny was here and he pushed the table into Peter?” Jay asked as he leaned back in his chair. He had been there when that happened and was right there with Danny pulling her away from Marion. Though they were all just tempted to let the fight go on. Let Libby get out of her system.
“Yeah.” He remembered it all too clearly, he would have done the same thing that the oldest Reagan had done when he found out that Libby had walked into a trap and was almost killed.
“She did that from what Will told me.”
“I threw a drink in her face too. Lucky for her that my brothers were there and pulled me away. I would have started throwing punches.” Libby said.
Carlie Rhodes looked up at Mrs. Halstead and laughed, “And she has a mean left hook.”
“Yes, yes I do.” the former New York Detective said folding her arms under her chest, “So what do you want us to do Sarge?”
Hank looked thoughtful before putting his hands on his hips, “Do you still have contacts within the family?”
Libby nodded her head slowly, “Yeah Bianca, Noble’s sister texts me all the time, she just moved from New Hampshire.”
“Good, reach out to her. Ruzek, Atwater, I want you two with her.” Hank ordered. “Got it, boss,” Adam answered as Libby went over to her desk and pulled her iPhone out of her desk, and turned it on.
This was her old phone and number that she only used from time to time.
It was a reminder of her former life, the life where she was Mrs. O’Malley, the wife of a prominent lawyer who gave her everything and lived a life that on the outside looked happy. But on the inside, it wasn’t.
Michael was controlling, abusive and angry, and Libby who was taught how to defend herself and trust cops her entire life became sad withdrawn, and not even trusting her family who was cops.
She was scared that if she got back into this lifestyle she was going to go back to that. She couldn’t do that not now that she had Jay.
She couldn’t. She wouldn’t.
**
Seeing that Libby was engrossed in her mission of texting Bianca, Jay went over to where Adam and Kevin were at
. “Keep an eye on her.” He said, keeping his voice low so only the two men going undercover with her could hear.
“Course man.” Kevin said glancing over at Libby and then back at Jay, “Was it really that bad?”
“Worse. Ask Carlie or Will they will tell you. Being with Michael wasn’t good for her. She drank heavily, lost a ton of weight, and almost got kicked off of the force.” Jay answered, “I am worried that she will lose control if she gets into deep.”
“We won’t let that happen.” Adam said, “We got her back.” The former Army Ranger nodded his head before going over to his wife and leaning against her desk.
“You okay?” “I will be okay. Kev and Ruze won’t let anything happen to me. I have too much to lose this time around.” She said softly offering him a smile.
He returned the smile before looking at the screen of the phone that lit up. “Looks like you are to meet Bianca soon.” “Then we should get ready. It will take me a while to go into Mrs. O’Malley again.”
#ash writes#oc: libby reagan halstead#series: undercover#one chicago fan fiction#one chicago imagines#jay halstead fan fiction#jay halstead imagines#adam ruzek one shot#adam ruzek fanfic#adam ruzek imagines
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requested by anon || A/N: I wrote this while listening to happier than ever by billie eilish, it really got me in all the angst I needed for this || WARNINGS: language || TAG LIST: @imaginesofyourfandom ; @regalbanshee
"I can't do this anymore" you raised your hands in the air as you said so, taking a few steps back and shaking your head in disbelief. "I'm done"
"So what? You're leaving?" Adam was giving you a fierce look, him too seeming more than agitated by the argument you two were having. Another one. Lately, they had been happening more and more. He just stood there, hands on his waist in the middle of the kitchen of your apartment. "You're going to leave the apartment? That's how you solve things?"
"I'm leaving the apartment, God, you make me want to leave this goddamn city!" you took your hands to your hair and passed them through it, taking in a deep breath as you felt some tears gather in your eyes. "I'm done trying to solve things between us. We've tried. We've screamed and fought more times than I can count and for what?" you shrugged. "You talked shit about me to our colleagues. I find myself at the end of the day drinking so I can get my mind off of you. That's not right"
"I said I was sorry for that. More than once"
"Adam, I know you have, but the point is..." you went back towards him and sighting placed your hands on his arms. "look at me" as he obeyed, eyes meeting yours that were blurry with tears. You could see the emotion on his features too. He already knew what you were going to say. "We can't be together anymore. We can't"
"You're dumping me?" he asked in a low tone, and for a moment you thought about the whole of your relationship. How great it had been before all the misunderstandings. It made you sad. And the clear sadness in Adam's face did too.
"No, babe. I'm setting us both free"
#imagine#x reader#fanfic#imagines#chicago pd#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd fanfic#adam ruzek#adam ruzek imagine#adam ruzek fanfic#adam ruzek x reader
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Maybe We Could Do It Again
Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader
Word count: 4,632
Warnings: bickering and fluff.
Summary: Jay meets the Reader as they’re both babysitting Makayla for Adam and Kim and they end up tangled up on the ground and kissing.
Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the One Chicago shows, or its characters, also not associated with it in any way, or know anyone involved with it.
A/N: Okay, so this is one of the longest fics I’ve written, which might be a little too long but I hope you guys like it and feel free to send feedback! By the way, this is the first time I insert Burzek in one of my fics but I think I got their energy right ;)
(y/n) = (your name) (y/l/n) = (your last name) (y/n/n) = (your nickname)
| masterlist |
“Oh my God, Adam! I can’t believe that even when you’re not supposed to do something you get it wrong!” Kim yelled at her boyfriend.
“What the hell-” He even tried to respond but got immediately interrupted for his bad language.
“Adam!” She hissed again, not believing how he could still curse so much now that the two of them had a child in the house.
“Sorry, sorry!” He said, nervously raising his hands, as Kim already peeked through the kitchen doors to see Jay and Makayla pretend like they hadn’t been listening to every word of their conversation in the living room. “It’s just… I remember you specifically telling me to find someone to babysit the kid, so I did it! How is it possible that I’m the one who-”
“Yes! I did ask you two to do that! On Monday! And do you remember what you told me?” He didn’t dare to say anything. “Oh, no? Because I do! I remember you saying, and I quote:” she said, even making finger quotes to emphasize the whole thing, “‘Where the hell am I supposed to find a babysitter for Makayla? None of my friends have any experience with kids!’” Kim shoved it in his face, making a very good point for herself. But, as usual, Adam decided to go against any sign of good judgment and continue to defend himself. He knew he could never let Kim in on it, but Jay himself was one of those who had already heard the officer saying how much he loved bickering with his girlfriend and getting her all fired up against him.
“No, uh! That won’t cut it! You told me, and I quote: ‘Then hire someone! I don’t know! But you’re the one who came up with the date night idea, so don’t come and throw something that should be your responsibility on my shoulders!’, so I knew that I needed to find someone! Kev and Vanessa are visiting his siblings this weekend, so I thought: why not Jay? He’s good with kids, and he offered to help us with Makayla!” Adam concluded, absolutely proud of himself while Kim just rolled her eyes.
“Oh. My. God!!! You do know he didn’t mean that literally, don’t you?” She was already fuming by that point.
“Err-” He had to admit that he’d never stopped to think about that possibility…
“No one means that literally!!” She shouted, this time, making even the neighbors hear their arguing. “No one means that literally, and, now, you’re just making us both look like the cops who can’t take care of their own kid in front of the entire unit.” She stated, in a lower, tone while pinching the bridge of her nose.
“But this is not the entire unit! This is Jay! Our friend Jay, who had offered!” Adam stood by that argument and Kim had already opened her mouth to shoot a remark back when Jay came into the kitchen.
“Makayla’s distracted with the tv.” He started with that so that they wouldn’t be worried. “Uh... Guys, Kim, you don’t have to worry about me telling anyone about this, okay? I won’t. Besides, I did mean what I said before. I’m here to help. Whatever you guys need. Plus, for someone who had plans of watching a game rerun alone at home on a Friday night, babysitting that cute little girl is almost like hitting a jackpot!” Jay assured, giving them a small smile and shiny eyes headed towards Makayla’s direction. Babysitting a kid, when he was probably never gonna have one of his own, was one of the things that he, personally, missed the most about when Will and Natalie were together. Back when Lindsay lived in Chicago, he used to be sure that, someday, he was gonna find someone. Settle down. Build a family. But, now… After everything that had happened, he couldn’t help but feel like his time to do all that had run out. So, instead of mooning over it, he could gladly babysit Makayla.
“Well, um, thank you, Jay,” Kim started, nervously tucking a string of hair behind her ear, “that’s really nice to hear. And we very much appreciate it. But-” She didn’t get a chance to finish as the doorbell rang and Adam rushed towards the apartment’s entrance to prevent his very excited little girl from opening the door by herself. When he got there, followed by the other two adults, Makayla was already standing on her tiptoes, hand-in-handle.
“Hey! Watcha doing, you little adventurous?!” Adam asked while picking her up from the floor and tickling her sides, which made her become a giggling mess. “You can’t just open the door like that, darlin’! You gotta check on the peephole first,” he said, as he lifted her up enough so that she could look through the hole, “like this. See someone?”
“Yes! It’s (y/n/n)!” She squealed out. “Can we open the door now? Please, Adam?” Makayla asked, shooting him pleading eyes, while her body buzzed with happiness.
“Ah, (y/n/n), right,” Adam said simply, opening the door and fearing that Kim would want to restart the whole discussion with him.
“Hey, princess!” And that simple greeting was all it took for Makayla to throw herself from Adam’s arms straight to yours. “Wow,” you laughed at her sudden movement, which had caused you to lose your balance a little, “you excited to see me?”
“Yes!! Did you bring the bakings???” She asked you eagerly, bakings being what she called your cooking utensils.
“No, not today!” Your answer made her face, almost immediately, turn into a sad frown. “But I brought this!” You told her while lifting up a box that read ‘karaoke set’, above a few drawings of a microphone and musical notes. Seeing that, Makayla’s saddened expression shifted in two seconds, eyes lighting up.
“Look, Kim!” The little girl shrieked, more than ready to have what she already knew was about to be the time of her life.
“Yeah, I see that! Seems like you girls are gonna have a blast…” Your friend weirdly trailed off, as her mind tried to find a quick solution to the mess her boyfriend had made.
“Uh…” Was all that a very handsome man you hadn’t met yet managed to let out.
“Jay, um, this is my best friend (y/n). (y/n/n), this is our friend from work Jay. I’m sorry about the mess, guys, it’s Adam’s fault.” Kim spoke again, bluntly accusing her boyfriend.
“My fault??? Are you kidding??? You told me to find someone to watch Makayla 'cause you didn’t want us to keep bothering (y/n)!”
“Guys! It’s no bother at all, really. Hanging out with this little princess is in my best interest, believe me!” You said, quickly defending your case.
“Well, thanks for saying that, (y/n/n). What happened here is that Adam told me he wouldn’t be able to get anyone,” Kim started while shooting daggers into her boyfriend with her bare eyes. “So, since I wasn’t about to just wait for a miracle, I called and asked you to do it. But someone didn’t think about telling me that he had already gotten Jay to come. And now you’re both here, ugh!” She finished, rather dramatically, while pointing a finger at Adam.
That was, seriously, the best couple you knew when it came to bickering.
“Okay, so, um, it’s not gonna be any trouble. I can leave since your colleague got here first and you don’t need to be stressed on your date night, friend.” You tried to bring things to a peaceful ending before Kim turned it into a murder scene.
“Oh, I do need to be stressed! I need to-” She started to debate but got cut off by Makayla’s cute pleading voice:
“But you can’t leave, (y/n/n)! We’re gonna play karaoke!” The little girl clearly had already gotten worked up by your idea for the night.
“Makayla, baby, please don’t be difficult. You hang out with (y/n/n) all the time, and uncle Jay is already here…” You watched as Adam tried to reason with his daughter while she held you really tight.
“No, uh…” Their friend started to say. Was it too weird for you to be thinking about how incredibly cute he looked when scratching the back of his neck like that? “Relax, man, I can go. I bet that you’re gonna have a lot more fun with her than with me, anyways, Mak.” He completed, talking to your little friend with a sweet smile, to which she reacted with a confused frown.
“But- but why does Jay have to leave? Can’t he play karaoke with us, (y/n/n)?” Makayla asked you poutingly.
“Now that’s something I’d like to see!” Adam started to mock but stopped when Kim punched him in the arm. “Ouch! That hurt, you know?”
“I know! That was exactly the result I was hoping for!” She squealed out sarcastically, “Makayla, honey, you can’t just ask both (y/n/n) and Jay to play karaoke, of all things, with you.” It was lovely to watch Kim interacting so patiently with her kid but the young girl still didn’t seem to understand.
“But why???”
“Well, they don’t know each other, Makayla.” Kim tried again but Mak still wasn’t ready to give it up.
“But they know me!”
“Good luck explaining now, ma.” As soon as the words came out of his mouth, all of you 𑁋 Adam himself included 𑁋 knew what was coming, fortunately, Kim just punched him in the arm again.
“You know, guys, you don’t need to fight over something like this, okay? Uh… Since he’s your coworker, I’m gonna assume that he’s one of the good guys, therefore I wouldn’t really have a problem with hanging out with him…” You said because you were never one to say no to little kids. “I mean if that’s okay with you, too, officer…”
“It’s detective, actually. But you can call me Jay, uh, (y/n), right?”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
“Well, I don’t have any problems with hanging out with you either,” Jay said and, Jesus, was that really his smile? “I mean, Mak should get all the babysitters she wants!” He told her with a wink. It was official. You were so done for the night.
“Ha!” Kim nervously let out a laugh, “let’s go easy there, cowboy! You can’t just come into my house offering the kid everything she wants.”
“Okay, okay,” the detective started to say with a gesture of surrender while the couple started to get out of the house to give you the space to properly go in. “Sorry ‘bout that, ma!” You could have sworn that you saw him tremble 𑁋 just a little 𑁋 under the deadly gaze your friend sent his way. Adam, who seemed to be off the hook for the first time that night, took the moment to laugh and hope that his girl would forget she had been so mad at him.
“C’mon, darling. Let’s get going before we decide it isn’t very safe to leave Mak with those two.”
"Yeah… I'm already deciding that but maybe they'll prove us wrong." Kim said, voice absolutely faithless. "You behave, Makayla!"
"It's more than obvious that she's going to be the best tonight. Get outta here already!" You heard Jay yelling a little in response to her, as you and Makayla started to get the karaoke set up.
But you, being the lucky person you were, obviously couldn't find your way around your friend's old stuff.
"Uh, you need any help there?"
“No! No, not all! Um, I got this!” You quickly responded because you could be pretty skeptical when it came to admitting your weaknesses and, from your point of view, not getting a simple karaoke set to work was a huge one.
“Alright, then…”
“Are you sure you don’t want Jay to help, (y/n/n)?” Mak asked, sounding way more reasonable than you, the actual adult there.
“Um, err, I guess maybe I could use some help… It’s just that this TV setup is quite different from mine…” You said, still unwilling to let how confused you were really show.
“Yeah, I can help!” you heard Jay as he left his spot in the corner of the room. “I was just ordering us pizza but I can totally help out 'cause Adam and I actually shopped for these TVs together, so I have the same one!” He said, this time, already gently getting the device from your hands before you could even react, which was probably him sensing that you wouldn’t give it up so easily, like he could see right through you.
“Okay, well, since you already ordered the pizza, I’ll go make us some juice.” As you said that you got both of your companions making weird faces at you, so you amended: “Or not, because you already ordered soda too… Just keep in mind that if Kim gets mad because of all the junk food that kid is eating, I’m telling on you, detective!” You said, making a point to stare right into his eyes 𑁋 God, they were so beautiful, was there nothing but beauty in this man’s body?
“Okay, so I think we’re all good here with the karaoke! Who wants to go first?” Hearing that you came of your very dangerous thoughts and Makayla jumped up and down, screaming:
“Me! Me! Me!”
“Alright, little lady, then come pick a song!” Jay told her and stood by to help her with her choice.
About three hours later all three of you had already sung your hearts out 𑁋 Jay having had gone for ABBA, which surprised you and Mak, to say the least 𑁋 eaten lots of pizza, drunk lots of soda and had begun watching a movie, cause you told Jay that that always did the trick when it came to Mak falling asleep. But, God, it was hard to pay attention to the movie you were supposed to be watching when sitting next to a guy like that. And he wasn’t just really handsome. He was sweet and kind and funny. Also, he was so good with Makayla. It was like everything you’d always imagined the perfect man being like was right there, reunited in the detective’s goof self. But you couldn't be thinking those thoughts about him. Not when he was so close. And definitely not when your best friend's daughter was lying on both of your laps.
So, in order to calm your thoughts for a minute, you gently put Makayla’s head on a cushion as you got up 𑁋 because she was already asleep 𑁋, and said I’m gonna get started on cleaning over there.” It was indeed necessary since Mak had dropped all of the content of a big ice cream container near the dining table, the ice cream being very sticky and sort of liquid 𑁋 which was obviously beyond your understanding but who were you to judge Kim and her preferences?
"Oh God, lemme help you!" You heard Jay saying, as he quickly made his way from the corridor over to where you were cleaning the floor, by the dining table.
"Ah, there's no need for it. I'm used to spending time with Mak, and, then, cleaning up before Kim sees it." You told him with a sly smile.
"Ha! Well, I don't doubt it! You're really good with her."
"And she's really good at making giant messes."
"Right." He said, chuckling lightly. "But, this time, I bet you felt like there were two kids, huh?"
"Your words, not mine, detective."
"Anyways, I'll help. Don't tell Kim and Adam, cause they might spread it across the district, but I'm actually pretty good at cleaning. Especially, when compared to someone who's doing such a lousy job." At that, you instantly snapped your head in his direction.
"What did you just say?" You asked, pretending to be mad while standing up and raising your sponge, as if it was a weapon you were threatening him with.
"Uh… Uh, d- did you know that pulling a weapon on a cop is a crime?" He asked, trying to play along, but stuttering a little.
"And what are you gonna do?" Now that Makayla was asleep… "Huh? Arrest me?" Jesus Christ, you definitely weren't thinking straight, you thought as you watched Jay drop his mop, also spilling all the soapy water on the floor. He even motioned to take care of it but stopped when he realized that you were, now, standing closer. Closer than it was safe for him to be near a woman like you. So he decided to take a step backward, not remembering the floor situation and slipping. As a reflex, you grabbed his shirt when you were obviously not gonna be able to prevent him from falling.
So, you ended up falling with him. On top of him. Oh God, was that living room always so hot? Your thoughts were cut off by Jay's laugh, it was an open-mouthed laugh, just like when you two were interacting with Makayla. He didn't seem to be the kind of guy who got to laugh too much, especially given his job. But it definitely suited his features. His smile, that bright, was so beautiful.
"So you're seriously not even gonna try and get up? Just gonna stay there staring?" Hearing that, you blushed instantly, because you hadn't even realized you were staring.
"Ah, uh… Right." Now, that was your turn to stutter, and Jay was loving every second of it. He thought you looked absolutely adorable like that. Even more so than you had looked all night.
But you weren't feeling adorable at all. You were embarrassed. By the situation at hand, sure, but, also, by your entire behavior that had, pretty much, gotten the two of you in that position. What was going through your head? The answer was simple: nothing. Or, better yet, Jay's gorgeous face, body, and behavior. Just, Jay being gorgeous all night. Now, what really made you wanna dig a hole and jump right into it was when you tried to get up but the floor was so slippery that you just fell back on him.
Needless to say, he was having a playfield. Laughing like there was no tomorrow. In fact, he had relaxed completely under you, laying his head on the soaked floor.
"You know what? This is pretty comfortable. I think I'll stay right here." It was official: you had no self-shame.
"Are you serious?" He asked, trying hard to hold back from laughing.
"Look, I don't know what else to do, okay? And my brain is clearly affected by your little charm, because I just keep mortifying myself over and over-"
"So you think I'm charming, huh?" Damn it. A thousand times damn it.
"Uh… That's not exactly what I-" You couldn't finish your sentence, as Jay started pulling you even closer to him. Kissing you. Oh boy, how he kissed you…
"Oh. My. God." Both you and Jay jumped away from each other, as much as you could, the second you heard Kim say that, her being followed suit by Adam:
"What the hell is that?!?" He half-asked, half-barked at the both of you, trying hard to not burst into laughter.
"Uh, it's, um, it's not what you're thinking, guys-"
"It's not what I'm thinking?!?" Yeah… It was safe to say that Kim was pissed. "Are you sure it isn't? Because the image actually seemed pretty self-explanatory to me!" As the both of you just kept working out a way to get up from the floor, she continued: "I come back home thinking that everything was gonna be perfect because my daughter had two adults babysitting her! People that I thought were quite responsible but, then, I come home to find those very adults making out on the floor in my living room! My very dirty living room! And, by the way, where the hell is Makayla?"
"She, um, she's in her bedroom. Asleep." Jay finally spoke. "And, about the mess… We were just, uh…"
"Yeah, man, we saw what you were just doing," Adam said, looking like he was having the time of his life.
"No! That's not what he was gonna say-"
"Ah, so the two of you got along so well that now you even know what he was going to say, (y/n)?" Kim said, while glaring at you.
"All I meant was that, well, the place got a little dirty…" Jay started to explain but not fast enough.
"A little???" Kim was really, really mad, you realized.
"But dinner was great!" At that, both you and Kim just stared at him incredulously while Adam started laughing on his way to the kitchen.
"That's what you were going to say???" You ask him, not believing you'd just tried to defend him for some joke. "Kim, I'm sorry things ended up this unfruitful…" You began to tell your best friend, to try and patch things up, when Adam chipped in from the other room.
"You know, darling, Jay wasn't wrong! This pizza is great!" He barked, mouth full. And that's what got Kim to go over the edge.
"Don't you realize what just happened here, Adam??? And, you two! I still haven't heard an explanation on what the hell I just saw!"
"I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry! We were cleaning up and then it just-"
"It just what, (y/n)??? It just happened? That what you were gonna say?"
"As a matter of fact, yes, it is! It just happened because you and your boyfriend made me babysit with this ridiculously hot guy and I'm human! Now, before you have another crisis, Makayla didn't see anything and I'm leaving because I just humiliated myself more than enough for a lifetime!" With that said, and your flight or flee instinct activated — cause you were never much of a fighter —, you did the smartest thing possible and stormed out of there, hoping to be able to get into some sort of protection program for embarrassment victims.
Meanwhile, Adam and Kim simply had to laugh, even more so when they noticed Jay's shocked twinkling expression.
"Jay! What is wrong with you?" Kim asked, taking him out of his daze.
"What?"
"Go after her! If I hadn't been so upset about the circumstances, I would've been the first one to say that what happened over there?" She asked, pointing to the floor. "What happened there was hot." The officer finished her trail of thought bluntly, as if it was the most obvious thing.
"But… What about your living room?" Jay asked, still unsure of what to do.
"Are you kidding me? Look, Halstead, if you promise not to break her heart… I won't hold it against you." Kim stated, making her stance on the whole matter very clear. She thought it was a good way to start apologizing to you after freaking out like that.
"Uh, uh, alright!" The detective rambled, looking like he had no idea of what to do next.
“Go!” With that last push, he left his friends’ house to go try and get the girl.
“You know, this is quite a mess but they do have the potential to be a great couple!” Adam happily pointed out, as he kept eating all he could find.
“Ha! If she’s as lucky as I am…” Kim ironically muttered, as she watched her boyfriend impolitely shoving food in his mouth.
“Then she’s a very lucky lady!” He confidently stated with a grin while all Kim could do was laugh at his messy childish ways.
Outside burzek's apartment — burzek being the ship name you used to tease Kim and Adam with —, you had been slowly walking towards the subway. You wanted to move faster but your mind was too full at the moment. And, sometimes, when you needed to get your head back on straight, you couldn't really do anything else, having a hard time concentrating on your flow of thoughts.
It was right when you were beginning to think you had stopped the spirals in your mind that you heard him: "(y/n)!" You recognized the detective's voice on the spot. How could you not, after how he had managed to disrupt your thoughts and actions all evening? But you weren't about to turn back around and have your very own movie ending with him. You just knew it wasn't gonna play out like that and decided to keep walking in order to preserve the little dignity you still had. "Oh, c'mon! Just give me a minute! Please!" That pleading made you turn around, to let him down more politely, which ended up with the two of you almost hitting each other. Once again, that same night, he was too close to you. The proximity with his body sending all sorts of heatwaves through yours. He seemed to be feeling it too, given the way he started to look at you, the damn smirk back on his lips.
"Nu-uh. You don't get to look at me like that. Not after what it did to me the first time."
"Huh. Care to elaborate on that? How exactly am I looking at you?" He asked, moving even closer to you altogether. "And, more importantly, what exactly did it do to you?"
"You don't need me to answer any of that." You pointed out, crossing your arms over your chest — clearly going into defensive mode.
"Maybe not," he started, tilting his head slightly — the damn smirks never leaving his face. "But. I'd like to hear it nevertheless."
"Well, you're not going to."
"Ah, okay." Wait, was he really giving up that easily? "Then maybe I can just try and see what it does to you one more time? For the sake of curiosity." All you could think to say was an enthusiastic 'Yes, please!' but, when he started leaning in to kiss you, you seemed to come back to your senses, pushing him away and taking some steps back of your own.
"Oh my God! Don't you get it? We can't be doing this right now. Not after the way I left things with Kim because of our previous, um, actions!" At that, Jay just gave you a confused look. "I stormed out of there but just because I was feeling too ashamed about it all and I honestly don’t think that I want any more embarrassment for a lifetime.
“Okay, okay. I get that but maybe it would feel less embarrassing for you if you knew that I was feeling all of that too: all of that buzzing energy and the goddamn butterflies and everything. You were doing exactly the same I did to you to me. And, as embarrassing as it was to be caught like that by Adam and Kim, I still can’t say I regret any of it. In fact, I was thinking that maybe we could do it again? You know, minus all the mess and the kid 𑁋 I mean, I adore Mak but that would be-”
You didn’t care to listen to the rest of all he had to say. Instead, you threw yourself into his arms, even making him lose his balance for a second, and started kissing him, except that this time it was a slow, hot, and thought-through kiss. And the second you did kiss him, you heard clapping and whistling from afar, as you turned to find Kim and Adam there, once again witnessing you and Jay kiss. And that had Jay whispering to you:
“Let’s get out of here?” To which you responded simply with a:
“Yes, please!”
#jay halstead#chicago pd#one chicago#fanfiction#imagines#fanfic#jay halstead fanfic#jay halstead imagine#flirty jay#jay halstead x reader#jay halstead imagines#jay halstead fanfiction#reader insert#one shot#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd fic#chicago pd fanfiction#chicago pd fanfic#one chicago x reader#one chicago fanfiction#one chicago imagines#one chicago imagine#uncle jay#makayla ward burgess#burzek family#burzek#kim burgess#adam ruzek#burstead#jay halstead x y/n
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Departure
Pairing: jay halstead x reader
Summary: Jay is y/n husband and he left her for eight months to go to Bolivia. When he came back, he couldn’t believe his eyes when he saw his wife again
Warning: none i guess, maybe a little bit of angst
English is not my first language, sorry if there’s some mistakes!
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
When your husband came home that day asking you to sit down on the couch, you didn’t think that he was going to say what he actually said. You two worked at Intelligence for four years and you didn’t think possible for him to change the way he did. When you first met him you immediately knew that he was kind, gentle and a good cop: you knew that he would have done everything to help innocents and to stop criminals, you knew that he was a good person.
And then something changed.
You didn’t know if that was because of his partner, Hailey Upton, or because of Voight; you just knew that you didn’t recognize him anymore. You even talked about it with Adam, your partner, but you weren’t able to find a way to help him get through that.
You just wanted him to be happy again, you just wanted him to be himself again.
That’s why you let him go.
When he told you that he accepted the job in Bolivia you couldn’t believe it, you just couldn’t.
Was he running away from the unit or was he running away from you?
You didn’t know what was true, but you couldn’t just deny him to be happy again: if he needed to go, you would have let him go.
And that’s exactly what you did.
“It will be for eight months maybe a little longer, okay? I will be back home soon.” He said that day, kissing your forehead with glossy eyes. “I love you… i really do but i need to do this. Please don’t be angry with me, i’ll come back to you, i promise. You’re the love of my life, y/n.”
When he left some minutes later to take his flight, you fell on the ground, crying; you needed him near you, you needed him there with you but you just couldn’t deny him to be himself again.
That’s why you didn’t tell him the truth.
That’s why you hid it from him.
When Kim knocked at your door that night after having heard about Jay, you let her in and you just walked back to the couch, where you cried all day.
“Y/n…” she whispered, walking towards you and hugging you tightly. “It’s okay. It’s temporary, right? He will come back, okay?”
You didn’t say anything, you didn’t nod or shook your head in response, you just kept crying again and again and then, after some minutes, you spoke.
“We perfectly know that he can die there.” You said, finally telling the truth, finally admitting out loud what you had in your mind all day since he talked to you.
“Oh, y/n…” she kept hugging you and she also placed her hand on your shoulder, trying to reassure you in some way. She wanted to say something, she wanted to help you go through all of that but her eyes fell on it.
It was on the table in front of the couch, exactly where you placed it after Jay left.
“What’s that?” She asked, keeping her eyes on the small object; she reached it and she looked at the result when you didn’t complain about it, then she looked up at you, shocked. “You’re pregnant?”
You wanted to cry, you wanted to scream, you wanted be alone in your thoughts, but Kim was there trying to help you and you really appreciated that, that’s why you just nodded, answering her.
“Does Jay know about it? Did He really leave you here alone knowing that you’re pregnant?”
Kim knew the answer deep down, she knew that Jay wouldn’t have left you there knowing that you were pregnant but she needed to know it for sure; when you shook your head saying “no”, she hugged you tighter.
“Oh, darling.” She whispered, caressing your back slowly and gently. “You should’ve told him, Y/n, i’m sure he wouldn’t have left knowing that.”
You sobbed, then you looked up at her and you shook your head again.
“T-That’s why i-i d-din’t tell him. He needed t-to go Kim, i c-couldn’t stop him.”
“But he had the rights to know the truth before taking such a decision!” She replied, shaking her head in disagreement.
“When he came here telling me about the job in Bolivia he already took it, he accepted it without even talking about it with me. I would have told him if he hadn’t already accepted it. He told me that he had a flight in few hours, how could i have told him? I know, after all, that he’s lost. He’s not himself anymore and, if taking that job is going to help him, then i will accept it. He said, after all, that’s only for eight months.” You said, even if he said that there was the possibility that he needed to stay a little longer. “When he will be back home, i will still be pregnant and he will be able to be here when our baby is born.”
Kim didn’t agree with you but you was still shocked, that’s why she didn’t say anything: she just hugged you, promising you that she would have help you.
And she did, as all your unit.
Kim, Adam, Hailey, Kevin, Hank and also Trudy helped how they could.
In the next months they helped you, they came to your house to keep you company and they accompanied you to the hospital every time you needed to do a visit.
You were never alone after all, but you knew, however, that the most important person for you wasn’t there. You couldn’t blame him since you didn’t tell him the truth, but still you missed him so much.
Your baby was healthy but he, or she, wasn’t ready to be born yet, even if one week passed since the due date.
In some ways you were relieved because you really wanted Jay to be there when you would’ve become a mother. Every single time someone knocked at your door or every single time your phone rang, you panicked, afraid that something happened to your husband while he was still in Bolivia. You didn’t talked to him in the last few months, mostly because you didn’t want to distract him during a mission and because you were always afraid of blowing his cover.
That’s why you hardly talked to him or contacted him on the phone, and he did the same thing for the same reasons.
Until you didn’t hear anything about him from the army, you knew that he was okay, you knew that he was still alive. And every day you kept going on, holding on this thought, holding on the fact that no one called you, so he had to be safe, he had to be alive.
You didn’t know when he would’ve returned home, but you just hoped that it was soon; you couldn’t get through labor without him by your side.
That day you was ready to go to the hospital for another visit with your gynecologist. You asked Adam to come with you and he immediately accepted; that’s why, when you heard someone knocking at your door, you thought it was him.
“C-Coming.” You said, trying to get up from the couch where you were waiting for him. Your belly was so big that it was difficult for you to get up easily. “Just give me one minute, i’m trying to get up from the couch.”
At the other side of the door there was not at all Adam, there was Jay with his bag on the shoulder, happy to be home again, happy to be able to see his wife again. But when he heard you saying that she was having difficulties getting up from the couch, he froze, thinking that you might have been hurt at work.
Before he could say anything, the door opened in front of him and he immediately looked at his wife; he was left speechless, standing in front of the door frame, looking at his wife that was definitely pregnant.
“J-Jay?” You whispered, shocked. You didn’t expect him to be there, you thought that he would have informed you before coming home, but he was there, in front of you in all his beauty. Being so far from him for almost nine months was hard for you: you went through hell alone, especially when you almost lost your baby, and having him in front of you was like a dream. You definitely thought that you were still dreaming.
“You’re pregnant.” He said, unable to look away from your belly. He let go the bag that he had on his shoulder, letting it fall to the ground. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he just couldn’t believe it. “Am i the father?”
That was the first thing that popped into his mind when he saw you and he immediately regretted saying that out loud when he saw your face.
“What do you mean? Are you really thinking that i slept with someone else just right after your departure? You’re my fucking husband, of course you’re the father.”
You were so angry.
You didn’t even realize it till that moment.
You were so angry because he left you alone with a baby in your belly, even if he didn’t know it, even if it wasn’t his fault since you decided not to tell him the truth. But you were definitely angry: he stayed away for so long and the first thing that he asked you is if you got pregnant with someone else?
“Why didn’t you tell me? I would have come back!” He said after few moments, still standing in front of the door, still shocked by the news.
“You took the job before asking me what i thought about it, what did i have to do? You didn’t even took one day to talked with me! You came here, saying that you were going to Bolivia and that you had a flight that same day!“
Jay knew that coming back home wouldn’t have been easy, he knew that you would’ve been upset and you had all the rights to be angry with him, but he definitely didn’t expect to come home and find you pregnant.
“Wait, did you know you were pregnant when i left?!”
You froze, then you stepped back and you invited him to enter the apartment, to talk about it privately.
Jay immediately came in, leaving the bag on the ground, completely focused on his wife. You closed the door behind you two and you leaned against the kitchen counter, sighing.
Jay, even if he was mad at you, immediately walked towards you and helped you; then he took a chair and he invited you to sit down, placing an hand on your shoulder and caressing you gently. You appreciated it but you perfectly knew that you two have still to talk about it.
“Yes.” You answered after that, placing an hand on your own belly, caressing it gently and feeling the baby kicking you hard. “I discovered it the same morning you accepted the job. I wanted to tell you when you came home but you talked first and I couldn’t tell you after that.”
Jay couldn’t believe his ears, he couldn’t believe that his wife hid something important like a baby from him for almost nine months. You should have told him, you should have told him the truth because he wouldn’t have left knowing that you were pregnant with his baby.
“You should have told me, Y/n!” He wasn’t able to control himself, he just yelled at you and, after that, he regretted it. You slightly jumped on the chair, with tears running down your cheeks. You knew that, you knew that he had all the rights to be angry with you but you weren’t prepared for this. You just wanted him to be home because you needed him but you never thought about how he would’ve reacted at the news. You had time to prepare yourself to become a mother and then he came home and discovered that he’s going to become a father in what, few days?
“I’m sorry.” He immediately told you, kneeling in front of you and placing his hands on your arms. “I’m sorry i yelled, it’s just that…. I wanted to know, I wanted to be here with you.”
You sobbed and cried, especially when his hands touched you after all that time. You missed him so much.
“I know.” You sobbed, looking at him. “I’m sorry, i wanted to tell you but I know that you wouldn’t left and… you said you needed it, I couldn’t stop you from that. I just wanted you to be happy again, I couldn’t see you so sad here. And… when you came here saying that you accept the job in Bolivia… i just couldn’t take it away from you. You were right saying that i had to let you go, i saw it in your eyes.”
Jay caressed your arms slowly and gently, then he leaned closer and he kissed your forehead.
“I’m sorry i left you alone.” He said, softly. And it was true. All the time, when he was in Bolivia for his new job, he thought about you and he felt guilty because he knew that you were alone, he knew that you would probably have been hurt. That’s why he asked Kim, Adam, Kevin and Hailey to be near you in case you needed them.
“Well, i wasn’t alone, was i?” You smiled softly through your tears; you took his hands and placed them on your belly the moment you felt your baby kicking. “He, or she, was with me all the time.”
Jay felt the kick against his palms and his eyes immediately filled with tears.
“Say hi to your daddy.” You whispered, apparently talking to your baby while looking at Jay in the eyes.
Jay wanted to say something, wanted to kiss your belly and whispered something to it like he was talking to your baby, but before he could say something, you moaned in pain.
“What’s wrong?” He immediately asked, concerned. “Is everything okay, babe?”
You looked down at yourself when you felt your legs wet.
“Oh no.” You whispered.
Jay looked at you, confused. “What’s happening?”
You looked at him and moaned in pain.
“ i think I’m in labor.”
“Fuck.” He said, placing an hand on his mouth after that. “I’m sorry, i swore in front of the baby!”
You giggled and shook your head but you were interrupted by the first contraction; you moaned in pain and you looked up at him.
“Hospital.” You whispered and he nodded.
“Hospital.” He agreed. “Holy shit, I’m going to be a father.”
“Jay.” You said while he took the car keys and the labor bag you prepared some weeks ago; he came back to you and he helped you get to your feet.
“I’m sorry!” He said, referring to his previous words.
#chicago pd#oneshot#fluff#jay halstead#angst#chicago fire#chicago med#erin lindsay#hailey upton#hank voight#trudy platt#police#adam ruzek#kevin atwater#kim burgess#pregnancy#army#father#newborn#fanfic#x reader
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$50 please.
greg ‘mouse’ gerwitz x fem!reader
a/n: HAPPY NEW YEAR 🎆
warnings: alcohol, kissing, fluff
“You know what? I’m gonna do it.” You say confidently as you throw back another shot.
“Oh, Y/N, that’s not what I-” Erin begins but stops as she sees you’ve already walked away.
“Too late. It’s time to let her go.” Adam says half teasing half seriously.
“They grow up so fast don’t they?” Alvin adds pretending to wipe a tear from under his eye.
The group of colleagues from Chicago PD’s intelligence unit sat back and watched as their shy, introverted, and currently drunk intern walked up to their tech guy.
“$20 she chickens out.” Adam spoke up again as they all wait in anticipation for what’s about to happen.
“$50 she doesn’t.” Kim says with faith.
Running a hand through your hair as you approach your long time office crush, you notice the all too familiar nervous feeling enter your stomach. Not today. Quickly grabbing another shot from a random person at the bar, the burn that rolls down your throat was exactly what you needed. Taking another breath you continue on your original path.
“Mouse,” you say catching both his and Detective Halstead’s attention once you approach them at the bar.
“Y/N, hi-” he says before being quickly interrupted with your lips on his.
After a few seconds without him kissing you back, you pull away.
Pressing a few fingers against your lips as you cannot believe what you’ve just done, you look at Mouse’s shocked expression with blushing cheeks and wide eyes.
“I-I’m sorry. That was a mistake. I- um. excuse me.” You say embarrassed as ever and walking away.
“Y/N, wait.” He says grabbing your arm opting for you turn around.
“No, I get it. Can we just pretend this never happened?” You ask overwhelmed with regret.
Cupping your face with both of his hands, Mouse places one of the most delicate pecks on your lips only parting slightly before you pull him in again, this time more aggressive.
Finally pulling away when someone clears their throat, you touch your lips again but this time with lust.
“Do you want to get out of here?” He asks with his hands still on your face.
“You read my mind.”
*Everyone’s reactions*
Erin: “Well, that turned out better than I expected.”
Adam: “I feel like I’m witnessing something I shouldn’t, but I can’t tear my eyes away.”
Kim: *clears throat*, “$50 please.”
Jay: “Atta boy.”
#one chicago#chicago pd one shot#chicago pd series#chicago pd fanfic#chicago pd x reader#chicago pd#greg mouse gerwitz#mouse#greg gerwitz#mouse x reader#greg gerwitz x reader#fluffy#molly’s#cuteee#erin lindsay#adam ruzek#kim burgess#jay halstead
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Alright I need some help getting my confidence back to posting my kinda okay writing. So I am asking you all to fill up messages/asks and send me requests for one shots or short stories that may or may not spiral into a series, or which of my series do you want a new chapter written?
I guess I should also mention my second page @coffee-shop-girl is where I would post my stories under and that is where they all live. Now you’re probably wondering why I am not posting this on that page? Well I don’t know how to get my message/ask section back. It seems to have disappeared a while ago and that kind of when I stop writing and posting. So for now this page still has access to messages/asks so fingers crossed I don’t lose it on this page.
So what fandoms do I write for?
* Supernatural
* Chicago Fire, P.D.
* Animal Kingdom
* Leverage
* 9-1-1
* Suits
* The Walking Dead
Are my top fandoms, but send me anything, it will be good exercise in the creative process. So read through my meteoric work, see my style of writing, and send me a prompt.
I am tagging a few accounts that seem to have recently found my works, or that I have started following or that use to follow me. hope you don’t mind, I just really want to get eyes on this. I promise I will only tag you in posts moving forward if you want to be.
Thanks again for reading
@dreamtofus @dinahjane97 @lucid315 @winchesterwild78 @hobby27 @dw19791967 @zepskies @spnexploration @clarinette07 @snffbeebee @deansdirtylittlesecretsblog @deanwinchesterdaily @deans-spinster-witch @deanwinchestersgirl87 @lyarr24 @jackles010378 @wotinspntarnation @prettybubblesintheair
#supernatural#fanfic#fanfiction#dean winchester#sam winchester#chicago fire fanfic#chicago pd#animal kingdom tnt#leverage#christian kane#adam ruzek x#kelly x reader#suits tv#9 1 1 fanfiction#the walking dead#darly dixon#asking for help#writing prompt
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Jay Halstead X Reader
Trigger Warnings: Swearing, kidnapping, blood, violence
Near Death Experience
It was mid December in Chicago. Jay and Y/N been together almost 3 years now. They met at a bar when Jay stepped in to save her from a drunk who was putting his hands on her when she told the man to stop multiple times.
Jay kissed his sleeping girlfriend on her forehead before he headed to work. The Intelligence unit was working a case involving human trafficking and drug deals gone wrong. They had just received another call about another drug induced homicide.
When Y/N work up, she stretched a little before heading off to take a shower and then get dressed before she had to clock in. After she was done, she grabbed her things and headed to her truck which was near an alleyway. She called Jay’s phone hoping he wasn’t busy.
Jay saw Y/N calling and picked up. “Hey, baby, heading to work?” Jay grinned as he waited for Antonio and Voight.
“Yeah, I just got to my truck. Heading to work now. I just wanted to call you and-“ But Y/N was cut off when someone came up behind her covering her mouth. She screamed. Her screams were muffled.
Jay heard the muffled screams. “Y/N?’ Hello?! Y/N” Jay called again. Then the line went dead.
As Voight and Antonio were coming out, Jay got a text from Y/N phone.
“If you ever want to see her again, stop working the case. And stop trying to play hero, Detective.” -Kidnapper
Jay swore under his breath. “Son of a bitch!!!”
Voight came up. “Jay, hey, what’s going on?” He looked at his partner.
Jay held his phone up. “They got her.” Was all Jay could manage to get out.
Sometime later,
Voight got everyone together. “Jay and I will go check out the apartment and truck. See if we can find anything. Antonio, you and Erin go talk to neighbors. See if they saw or heard anything. Also be on the look out for security cameras.” Voight told everyone.
Jay was quiet as Voight drove. He looked over at Jay. “We will find her, Jay.” He reassured Jay.
Jay sighed. “If I hadn’t left her alone, this wouldn’t have happened.” Jay blamed himself.
When they arrived on scene, Jay started looking around the truck. The door to the driver’s side was open, and he found Y/N’s phone on the ground. Smashed to pieces. He clenched his teeth. There was blood spatters on the ground.
“She must have put up a fight.” Voight studies the blood splatters.
With Y/N,
Y/N woke up on the ground. Her mouth taped shut, her hands and feet bound by tape. She opened her eyes blinking. Blood dripped down the side of her head where she had been hit upside the head near her truck before she was kidnapped. She tried to sit up, but the pain was too much for her to bare. She saw a man open the door, and walked in, locking it behind him. He kneeled down to her, lifting up her chin. “You’ll make the perfect trade.” He smirked, eyeing her up and down. “Once we get you cleaned up of course. Boss man doesn’t want to see you like this.” Y/N rolled her eyes at the guy. She mumbled through the tape.
Back at the Unit,
“Traffic cams manage to pick this up. A man came up behind her while she was talking to Jay. She opened her door up, and that’s when he attacked her.” Erin showed everyone the traffic cam footage. “And, we got a clear shot of his face. Ran it through the database, and we got a match.” She handed the files over to Jay and Voight.
Jay looked over the files. Anger washing over him. “I know him. He’s known for kidnapping women and selling them to sex traffickers. He’s also wanted in three states for capital murder, two drug induced homicides, drugs, assault, and attempted kidnapping.” Jay said.
“And we got a location on the vehicle he transported her in.” Antonio came into the room a few minutes later.
“Alright, gear up.” Voight said, as Antonio texted everyone the address.
Later,
“Let me go!” Y/N screamed and pleaded as she was dragged by her hair into the warehouse. “Shut the fuck up.” The man snarled, throwing her into a container. She screamed as she left in total darkness, her wrists and feet bound by tape. She cries softly, burying her face into her knees. She had black and blue bruises all over her arms and legs. Her eye was swollen, her lip busted. The side of her head was bloody.
Chicago PD surrounded the warehouse. “Chicago PD!” Jay yelled.
The men started firing at the PD. So, they fired back at the men. “Where is she?!”
Jay tackled the felon to the ground. “Where is she?!” He started the beating the shit out of the guy.
Voight motioned to Lindsay and Adam. They searched the warehouse. Adam threw open the container.
Y/N screamed when she saw the door to the container open. She scooted away, burying her face.
“I found her.” Adam called over his shoulder. “It’s okay, Y/N, it’s me, Adam.” He reassured her.
Jay stopped beating the guy. Voight handcuffed him as Jay took off to the shipment container. “Y/N?!”
She heard Jay’s voice and looked up. “J-Jay?!” Tears streamed her cheeks, as he freed her feet and wrists. She threw her arms around him. “It’s okay, it’s okay, I got you.” He cupped her bruised her cheeks. “You’re safe now.” He kissed her head, lifting her up, as he carried her out.
Chicago Fire was on scene. Severide and Casey helped her into the ambulance so they could assess her injuries. “Can Jay come? Please?” She looked up at Severide and then back at Jay.
“Yeah, he can ride.” Severide smiled reassuringly.
Jay hopped into the back, holding her hand in his. “It’s okay.” He kissed her hand.
#fanfic#chicago pd#jay halstead x reader#jesse lee soffer#antonio dawson#hank voight#erin lindsay#adam ruzek
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Just friends
Warnings: Swearing
Chapter two
Becoming impatient, you bounce your knee while waiting for Voight to arrive. Adam called his boss after you finished breakfast and briefly explained the situation. Voight agreed right away and was currently driving over with Antonio.
“Nice place you’ve got here.”
Adam lets out a sarcastic laugh. “Oh yeah, the dirty dishes and mountain of laundry really add to the decor.”
Feeling restless, you stand up and walk around his living room. Adam suggested you meet at his apartment; that way, if anyone saw you with him, you could easily play it off as a hookup. You smile at the picture pinned to his fridge of him and a brunette woman posing. “She has a beautiful smile; who is she?”
“That’s my girl, Kim.”
“Where did you guys meet?”
Adam nervously scratches at his beard and says, “Work. She's a cop in my district.”
Laughing, you toss the dish towel hanging beside you at him. “I thought you’d know better than to get involved with someone you work with.”
“Yeah, yeah. How’s your dad and Eli doing?”
You gulp down a mouthful of cold water before pulling at the label covering the bottle. “Eli’s fine—great, actually—and my dad's just the same. Having a kid in the house again is good for him.”
Adam gives you a sympathetic look but doesn’t ask any more questions. You make small talk until Adam gets a text. “That’s them here," he says as he walks towards his door, ready to open it, saying, “Just remember not to be nervous. Hank and Antonio can be a little intense and dark at times, but they are good guys, and if you want, I can do most of the talking for you.”
You struggled to hold back a laugh. Adam was being so sweet and protective, and yet he was in for a surprise. Antonio walks in and gives you a polite nod before greeting his colleague. Hank walks in with a serious expression on his face that softens the moment his eyes land on you.
Adam clears his throat. “Boss, this is—”
“Detective Love,” Hank pulls you in for a hug. “It’s good to see you, kid.”
“You too, Hank; it’s been a while.”
“Don’t drink anything the brunette waitress called Beck gives you; it’s spiked. All the rooms have hidden cameras. Be safe.” Antonio holds the note you placed in the uniforms between his fingers, “so there’s no safe space to talk inside? What about the staff changing rooms or bathrooms?”
“All bathrooms have cameras facing the sinks, and there are hearing devices in the changing rooms.”
Hank nods. “Before we go any further with this, we all agree that nothing that’s said leaves this room.”
All three of you nod.
“Now that’s sorted, Viola, tell me how you got into a club owned by Hector Vasquez; last I heard you were a detective in robbery-homicide.”
“I volunteered when I heard Nat Dickson was back in town.”
“I’m guessing since you’ve been undercover for a while, Nat’s still out there.”
Rage boils deep within your veins; “bastards have been keeping a low profile.”
“Who’s Nat Dickson? I don’t think I’ve heard that name before,” Antonio says.
“He’s wanted for human trafficking in New York. Viola, you should have come to me when you heard he was back in Chicago.”
“You were in prison.”
“Fair enough, but I’m here now.” He turns to face Adam and Antonio and says, “Nat Dickson is scum and extremely dangerous. Trust me, if you’re ever in a run-in with him, do your best to shoot and ask questions later.”
“Nat is part owner of the club, but his share is under a fake name, Lewis Archer. Jasper gives him a large amount of cash along with a bag of guns once a month, but the date, time, and location are always different.”
Adam’s eyes widened with interest as he looked through some paperwork: “The club is full of drugs and has been busted twice in the last month, but only one arrest has been made, and that was for public intoxication.”
“Jasper’s got eyes on the inside.”
Anger flashes behind Antonio’s eyes. “You're telling us a dirty cop is ripping him off for police raids?”
“Dirty as they come,” you say, clicking your tongue. “But I’ve no idea who or how many cops are mixed up in this.”
“Is Nat still selling girls?
You chew on your bottom lip as Hank drives you back to the other side of town, where your car is parked. “If he is, he’s doing it in another location.”
“Tell me about this Beck who spikes people’s drinks.”
“Every so often she spikes men with sleeping pills, takes them into a back room with the promise of having sex, and robs them. She takes everything, from wallets to wedding rings. I’ve tried reporting her anonymously twice before, and each time it’s bounced.”
“Sounds like there’s more than one dirty cop involved. I’m going to have Ruzek stay on the bad-dope trail while you continue gathering evidence of Beck drugging and robbing men; I have a feeling they are contacted.”
“And Dawson?”
Hank turns a sharp corner, the tension in his shoulders obvious. “I want you to stay close to Antonio. Don’t get me wrong, Adam’s a good cop, but Antonio has been deep undercover before, so he knows what it’s like. Plus, he’ll watch your back without getting emotional.”
“I understand and thank you.”
“It’s what my team does; we watch out for each other.” He lets out a small chuckle and says, “I also have an ulterior motive.”
“What’s that?”
“Once this case is closed, I want you in intelligence.”
#antonio dawson x reader#antonio dawson x you#chicago pd fandom#chicago pd x reader#Chicago PD#chicago pd fanfic#chicago pd fanfiction#antonio dawson#adam ruzek#hank voight#antonio dawson fanfiction
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On the brink | Part 2
Part 1
Summary: When a case hits too close to home, is Jay able to keep it together or is he going to lose everything.
Trigger Warnings: best friend Jay, OC Lilian Grace Harper, asthma, protective Kevin, Adam and Antonio, metion of past child abuse, mention of dead soldiers, Jay being and asshole at some time, friends to enemies to lovers, idiots in love, canon divergence!
Word Count: 4.2k +
To say that the case hits Jay hard is an understatement. The last days Intelligence found out that all five of the dead soldiers were recently back from their deployment abroad and now ready for retirement, either because of an injury or because they wanted to start a new life back with their families back home.
They worked without so much as a break but now on Friday they seem to be missing important pieces of the puzzle. They have no clue, why someone would target the men or who their suspect could be.
"I made a coffee run. The finest coffee and the best muffins in the whole city." Lily shouts as she climbs up the steps to the Intelligence unit, slightly out of breath. The cold weather is taking a toll on her sensitive lungs and bronchia, but there's no time for her to ease up or rest. The case needs to be solved and that sooner rather than later. She also needs to be there for her partner Jay Halstead. The last days the mood clearly shifts. He got more silent and withdrawn. It took her a whole lot of persuasiveness to get him to go home the last evenings.
"Oh my God, you got me that sinful double chocolate muffin, sunshine? I love you. Marry me!" Adam jokes and hungrily takes the bag out of her hands.
"Wow, slow down cowboy. I'm not that kind of easy girl you used to date."
She takes a step to Jay's desk but he doesn't even look up when she sets down his steaming cup of coffee and the blueberry muffin he loves so dearly.
"I got you your favorite muffin and the best almond milk latte in the city." She softly says to her green eyed partner.
"Wouldn't it be better to work on the fucking case? Or do you want some more dead veterans to be found?" Jay looks up, his eyes furious. He instantly regrets his harsh words. But Adam's joking and Lily's sunshine-always-happy-people-pleaser-behavior sets off his rage. Her gaze drops down clearly hurt from the words of the most important person in her life. She whispers a silent "sorry" and sits down at her own desk, head hanging low.
"Hey, easy there tiger. We are all working our asses sore. No reason to let your anger out on Lilian."
"It's okay Ruz." she tries to calm the heated mood. Even if Jay's words hurt her she doesn't want any of her colleagues in the line of fire. She takes his words if it helps him to let off some steam, even if her heart is sore after that.
---
It was already very late on the Friday evening but the team is still working hard to get a breakthrough in their case.
"Okay, I want you all to go home. The snowfall is going to get heavier by the hour and I need my team in one piece. Drive safe, I see you all tomorrow." Voight announces. The whole day the snow fall was moderate and the streets were in somewhat good conditions to drive safe. But the forecast announced heavy snowfalls for the late evening and night and Voight doesn't want his detectives to drive in the bad weather when it's not necessary. It's not the first heavy winter in Chicago and he knows that the road maintenance is going to be overwhelmed with plowing all the snowy roads.
Lily was in the locker room just finished to call it a night when her partner enters the room.
"Lils? I'm sorry for earlier. I was unfair. But this case -" Jay starts but Lily interrupts him.
"Hey, it's okay. I can take it." She beams her signature smile at him. "What about a slow movie night? I missed my detective chuckles the whole week."
Did she just say 'my detective' oh Lord. Her cheeks redden a bit and so she tries to hide her embarrassment by rummaging in her locker.
"Yeah, why not. Come one, let's take my car." And with that they make their way to the parking lot.
---
But the evening takes another turn as Lily hoped for. She wanted to be close to Jay, to keep him sane and help him in case of a nightmare. She is afraid that his PTSD is flaring up, so it came in handy that Jay drove them to his house. It implicated that she would sleep at his and can keep a close on him. Well, that was the plan.
"Jay, please listen to me. All I wanted to say is that you have to take care of yourself. No matter how hard the case hits you. I'm worried and -" the smaller woman didn't have the intention to discuss with her partner. But it seems like everything she says is wrong. And so a harmless comment led to a huge argument.
"What do you want, Harper -" she shrinks into herself when Jay uses her last name, he never does that "-there are two dead Rangers, three dead veterans, their families waited for them to come home from their deployment, afraid they would die in war and now, when they were finally safe some lunatic is out there, executed them." With every word he gets louder and more upset. She gets it Jay is more involved in that topic than the rest of the team. But they all need to keep a clear head.
"Of course I get that Jay. But- "
"You get NOTHING, Harper. In your rainbow sunshine world is no place for the real world. There are people out there fighting for our country and an asshole is killing them. You have no fucking idea." Jay pokes his finger into her shoulder to make his point clear. "Please go, I want to be alone." The taller man turns around missing how he had hurt his best friend.
A silent tear is slipping down Lily's cheeks. Rainbow sunshine world? She is far from living that life. And she knows exactly how hard it is to have someone in the military and to lose a close person to the terribleness of war. She grew up in the system, her parents not able to take care of the cute little girl with the long strawberry blonde hair and the warm lovely eyes. When there was finally a foster family for her she hoped for a new loving family. Parents, who would love and take care of her. But it was far from a loving family. Her foster father seemed to hate her with all his might. Her foster mother always looked away when her husband took out his anger on their foster daughter. Whenever Lily did something wrong he banned her in the garden shed for the night, without food, a warm blanket or even a flash light. One day she accidently broke a vase. It wasn't an expensive heirloom or even a peculiar beautiful piece of art. It was just another reason for her foster father to ban her into the cold and dark shed. She had to stay there for five days, with only a little food and water in just her thin pajamas. In these five days she developed an acute bronchitis but the cruel man forbid his wife to take Lily to the doctors. Thanks to him she's suffering from bad asthma today. But there was one person on earth who seemed to be in her corner. Her foster brother, he was the biological child of her foster parents. He was eight years older than Lily, but the cute and shy girl instantly wrapped the older boy around her finger. Whenever he was at home he defended her and protected her from their father. He was her knight in shining armor. He always brought her to bed even read her a bedtime story. These are the only good memories she has from her childhood. But when he turned eighteen he went to the Army. The goodbye was heartbreaking for both of them but when the family was informed that he died in the line of duty, the real hell started for Lilian. She missed her foster brother dearly he was the only person who had ever loved her, who was friendly and gentle with the small girl. Ever since that fateful day her foster father got even more brutal. Hardly a day went by without hitting her, shouting at her or punishing her. So yes, she knows how hard it is to lose a loved person to the military.
She puts on her coat and her shoes and without a goodbye she leaves Jay's house. As she stands in his driveway the whole situation settles in. Her best friend, her safe haven, her anchor just kicked her out. Now she's stranded in his neighborhood, standing in the heavy snowfall of the Chicago winter without her car. To get an Uber in this snow chaos was impossible, the radio stations announced the whole evening that the people should stay at home and not drive their cars, that the streets would probably not ne plowed until the morning. So her only option is to walk home. She lives not too far from Jay's house but under these circumstances she would need more than 30 minutes to get to her house. She didn't plan on staying too long outside today so she only has her thin winter jacket on. What a fucking disaster.
As she walks the unusual deserted streets of Chicago silent tears are making their way down her flushed cheeks and blurring her vision. Under normal circumstances she would be highly alerted, she is a detective for crying out loud and she knows what persons are out in the dark in the streets of Chicago but heartbroken and deeply hurt by the man she calls her best friend she couldn't care less about possible threats looming around the dark corners of the Chicago streets at night.
---
When she finally arrives at the front door of her house, her jacket, her shoes, hell, everything is soaking wet. The snowfall increased during her walk home and wetted her whole clothes and her hair.
Utterly exhausted and out of breath she takes off her clothes at her front door to not get her hard wood floor soaking wet. She's shivering so violently and her fingers are so stiff from being in the cold for more than 30 minutes that she has difficulties to open the zipper of her jacket and her trousers.
Finally, stripped down to her underwear and stumbles into her bathroom. The snowflakes melting in her hair are wetting her skin once more cold drops of water are running down her back, making her shiver even more. A painful sob is tumbling out of her mouth, utterly exhausted she sinks down on the cold tiles of her bathroom floor. A familiar feeling is spreading through her chest.
The room is filled with Lily's painful wheezing. It feels like someone is squeezing her ribcage and choking all the air out of her lungs. With shaking hands she rummages through her bathroom cabinet. She needs her asthma spray and that fast. Tears are still blurring her vision making the search for her medication even harder. Black spots are starting to dance in her vision when she finally finds her spray. Fortunately she manages to administer herself the asthma medication. Her chest feels painfully tight and she hopes that the medication is kicking in soon to help open up her airways. She tries desperately to get more air into her lungs but the oxygen deprivation is making her more lightheaded. Violent coughs are tumbling out her mouth mixing with sobs and whimpers. She closes her eyes in an attempt to calm herself down. The last thing she wants right now is to call some of her friends for help. She can do this alone, even if this is one of the worst asthma attacks in a long time. Slowly she can breathe easier and her chest isn't as tight as before. She lets herself slump against the bathroom door, drowsy from the medication and utterly exhausted from the huge emotional pain she suffered this evening.
When she's sure that she can stand up without fainting Lily makes her way over to the shower, she needs to warm up her slightly hypothermic body. On shaky legs which feel like Jell-O, she lets herself slide down in the shower, too weak to stand up any longer. When she sits under the warm spray the whole evening, the argument with Jay, his harsh words and her bad childhood memories are constantly replaying in her head, so once again she can't stop the tears from falling down her flushed cheeks.
---
Lilian wakes up before her alarm has the chance to play it's merciless blaring. When she finally had the strength to make her way from the shower to her bed it was already around midnight. But despite her physical and emotional exhaustion she couldn't find sleep. Jay's hurtful words are still lingering in her tired brain. But instead of being mad at Jay, she questions herself. Was her support for her best friend and partner not enough? Why did she fail the most important person in her life?
Taking a look at the clock on her nightstand, she decides to get up and have an early start, because sleep would definitely not come anymore. Why wasting any more time when she can use the early morning and start working on the case. She owes her partner that much.
---
Fortunately the Chicago streets are finally plowed so she can take an Uber to the precinct, with her car still there. As she coughed painfully for the fifth time a not amused Uber driver is watching her in the rearview mirror, probably afraid she is going to spread her germs further and infect him with that nasty cough. Her breathing gets labored and wheezing by every cough and she's thankful that she has her asthma spray at hand.
Lily prays a silent prayer that her breathing is going to improve until she arrives at the precinct and that she can suppress the painful coughs the last thing she wants is to worry her colleagues.
---
"Hey Lils!" The young woman hears a familiar voice holler her name.
"Hey, Adam. You're early, what a rare sight." she turns around and gives her colleague a warming smile.
"You came with a cab? Didn't you leave with Jay yesterday?" Adam asks as he's catching up to his female colleague.
Lilian really hoped that she could enter the precinct without anyone noticing that she had to take an Uber to work, but now Adam busted her. But instead of telling him the real reason for her taking a cap, she tries to fool him with a little white lie.
"Yeah, but I forgot my go-bag, so I needed to make a stop at my house in the morning, you know."
Her heart aches when she once again thinks about the real reason. That her partner, her best friend kicked her out yesterday. That she had to walk 30 minutes in the cold Chicago winter which gained her a nasty cough and a tight feeling in her chest.
When both detectives enter the Intelligence Unit the green-eyed detective was already working at his desk. Seems like most of them have an early morning today.
Lily mumbled a nearly inaudible 'Good morning' in Jay's direction, but he only nods his head, not in the mood to call it a good morning.
Of course Jay felt bad after he kicked out the strawberry blonde woman out of his house in the middle of the night when a snow storm is hitting the city, but he's so deep in his rabbit hole. He can apologize later, can't he? They all have to work a bit harder and soon they can figure out the asshole and lock him up for good. Then there's enough time to make it up to Lily. Just a small voice in his head tells him: when it's not too late then.
Lily goes straight to the locker room. She puts her still a bit damp jacket and her purse away. When she turns around she sees her Go-bag sitting on the bench. In fact she took her bag to Jay's yesterday but she forgot it at his house after he kicked her out. And now, her partner just dumped her belongings on the bench in the locker room. Not even that decent to give it to her personally, let alone talk to her. She feels her eyes tearing up once again. With a heavy heart she lets herself down on the bench, trying to stifle her whimper. She can't just sit here and cry, she has a job to do. She is a detective for crying out loud.
The familiar feeling of someone sitting on her chest is spreading in her ribcage. A painful cough is followed by her attempt to take a deep breath but it's more a wheezing than a healthy oxygen filled breath. She jumps up and drags herself, on shaky legs, to her locker. She needs her asthma spray. With trembling hands, she gets her spray out of her purse. In a hurry to not get that attack as bad as last night and worried some of her colleagues will catch her she inhales two puffs of the medication. It makes her always a bit drowsy, but at least the painful tight feeling in her chest is easing up real fast this time. She grips the door of her locker in a tight grasp, knuckles turning white, to keep her body in the standing position. This is going to be a fucking long day.
---
"You look like hell. Everything okay?" Antonio asks the smaller woman as both are waiting for the coffee machine to finalize the brewing process.
"Gee, thanks Toni, that's what a girl wants to hear."
Unfortunately Lily can't suppress the wet cough that makes its way up her tight airways. Antonio looks rather worried when he hears the young woman coughing.
"Oh, just chocked on that cold coffee." Lily tried to lighten the mood.
"Voight wants us at the board." Kevin tells his colleagues from the doorway of the breakroom. Saved by the bell, Lily hurries out of the Intelligence's small kitchen to meet the other detective in the bullpen. Hopefully one of them has a lead.
Antonio is hot on her heels and when they both get to their white board the others are already there.
With a quick glance she looks at Jay. The crease between his eyebrows and his stiff body posture is giving away how tense he his. Lily is worried for her best friend, in any other situation she would hug him, or squeeze his hand gently, just a small physical touch to tell him without words that she's there for him, no matter what. But today she's afraid. She takes the place beside Adam in a safe distance to her partner. The taller detective looks down to Lilian and winks at her squeezing her shoulder. It's a small gesture he often does. As annoying as he can be, he has a big heart and Lily has definitively a big place in Adam Ruzek's heart. Of course he instantly saw that something is up with Lily when he saw her in the morning getting out of the Uber. She was slower than usual, she looked tired, her eyes a bit red and puffy. He has the suspicion that something happened yesterday at Jay's house. Their whole interaction this morning was odd. Even when Jay had a bad day in the past, he would always talk to Lily, she would turn his sour mood into a better one. Heck, she is their sunshine. When she enters a room, it's glowing. But today was different, she seems like she lost her glow. Jay didn't even say 'good morning' to her. They didn't talk the whole morning. He has to keep a close eye on his friends, but especially on the younger woman. She looks pale, exhausted and far from healthy.
The team collects everything that they had found or rather not found. There's still no hot lead but they were able to dig a bit deeper into the history of the five dead soldiers. For some minutes Lilian tries to stifle the great urge to cough or clear her throat, but when Voight finally explains their next steps, she can't hold it any longer. The young coughs painfully into her armpit. Instantly the whole room grows silent, the attention of her colleagues on her. She whispers a quiet sorry and looks up at their boss to encourage him to go on.
"Everything okay, Harper?" Voight asks his youngest detective.
"Yeah, just a small cough. Everything’s all right." Lilian tries to reassure her boss that she's fit for her and her partner's designated task.
The older man lifts an eyebrow before he makes a decision. "That didn't sound like a small cough. Harper and Halstead, you stay here. Evaluate the phone numbers which were logged in in the area where the bodies were found. Kevin, Antonio, go to the third victim's wife, we need her statement. Ruzek, you're going to observe the warehouse where all victim's mobile phones were logged in -" but he doesn't get the chance to finish his sentence when a rather upset Jay interrupts him.
"Because she has a cough, we have to stay here? I need to talk to the wife, hell."
"HALSTEAD, my office. Harper, go with Ruzed, help him with the stakeout."
---
Voight was never happy with tensions between their detectives. But with his soft spot for the strawberry blonde woman, he doesn't let Jay's comment slight. He was surprised with his reaction. Usually Jay was highly protective of his partner. Her coughing her lungs up would have been a reason for him to stay at the precinct with her voluntarily. Hank notices the bad mood and the high tension between the two partners the second he entered the Unit in the morning. He saw the dark circles around Lily's eyes, her pale face and her red eyes. But Jay's reaction now was the last straw for him. And so he finds himself shouting at the younger detective that his behavior towards his partner is nothing he ignores. Hopefully Jay will get some common sense now. Voight likes the dynamic between Halstead and Harper. He knows that there is a very thin order between being partners and best friends and lovers. But he accepts this dynamic of course he would never admit that. But he's thankful for Lilian Grace. She saved Jay from his demons she brought a light, friendly and tender mood into their unit. The rest of the team is also highly protective of her and thankful for her being their addition.
---
The whole drive to the warehouse was painfully silent. Lily clearly shocked by Jay's outburst, the second one in 12 hours. When a silent tear slipped down her cheek she harshly wiped it away. Afraid that Adam had seen this. When he noticed it, he didn't say a word.
So now they're sitting in front of the warehouse in their SUV, hidden in a parking lot behind a tree and waiting for movements. Lily is growing more tired every passing minute. It gets harder for her to keep her eyes open.
Usually a stakeout with Ruzed was funny, entertaining and even if there's nothing happening it never gets boring with her older colleague. But today was different. Adam seems to be brooding over something. Not one joke was told by the bearded detective.
In fact Adam is mad. No scratch that, he is furious. He can't believe how Jay treated Lily earlier at the precinct. He needs to talk to him he can't talk to her that way. She is the best thing that ever happened to their unit. She's friendly, cute, intelligent, strong, hell she would probably the best woman for Jay.
He turns around in the driver seat and looks at the small woman beside him. "Are you cold?"
"No no, I'm good." Such a short answer from the strawberry blonde was rare.
He grabs her hands which are lying in her lap "Geez, Lilian Grace. Your hands are deathly cold." And with that he stretches his upper body between the both car seats to get something from the backseats.
"Here, time to warm you up, sunshine." He gently tucks her in a blanket he always has stored in the backseat of his SVU.
With a silent "Thank you, Ruz." Lily thanks her colleague. When she's honest the cold from her late night walk is still deep inside her bones. The whole day she has ice cold and trembling hands, so she’s happy that Adam has a blanket in his car.
Because of her shitty night in which a fitful sleep didn't come, her eyes grow more tired the longer she watches the warehouse. They haven't seen one soul in nearly two hours. So when she can't suppress her exhaustion anymore her eyes fall shut and her body finally relaxes. With a sad and worried look in his eyes Adam glances at his female friend. He tucks the blanket one more time closer to her shivering body and gives her soft kiss on her temple. "Sleep, Lily. I can do this alone. I got you."
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𝐍𝐨 𝐓𝐢𝐦𝐞 𝐓𝐨 𝐖𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞
*Gif not mine credits to the owner*
• Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Fem!Reader.
• Requested by @rsquared31: She and Adam are either still in the stages of flirting or early on in a new relationship together. Something happens to her and Adam rushes to get to her, but then internally struggles between going after the attacker or running directly to her - not wanting the asshole to get away, wanting to tackle him and make him pay for daring to hurt her, but also wanting to see if she was ok and be the one to help her. She’s taken to the hospital, where the injury was bad enough for her to be out/unconscious for a while? Adam stays with her and refuses to leave. He makes some admissions when she wakes up.
• Warnings: mention of blood, injury, drug, throwing up, tiny bit of swearing.
• Word count: 4456.
• A/N: this is the first time writing for someone who isn’t Jay and I’m so nervous 😭 it’s ugly as fuck but are we even surprised? I hope you like it anyway. please let me know what do you think and feel free to give me any advice or send me ideas for new stories! Likes, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated ❤️ thank you so much for the amazing support you showed me and for encouraging me to challenge myself and write for other characters, I love you all xx
“Good morning darling,” a voice caught your attention.
You were in the break room pouring some coffee – which you already knew would be awful – into your cup. Before you even turned around a smile appeared on your lips, having recognized who that voice belonged to. You would’ve recognized it among another million people.
You turned your face to a smiling and impossibly handsome Adam who didn't even try to hide the cheeky way his eyes studied every inch of your body.
“Good morning to you handsome,” you returned his greeting trying not to stammer and blush in front of his intense and provocative gaze. But you couldn't hide the way your heart whirled in your chest, almost skipping a beat, or the way every cell in your body woke up from the excitement.
Excitement of what? He hadn't done anything but look at you and you were already a complete mess.
The power this man had over you.
“Indeed it's a really good morning,” he replied, hands in his pockets as his eyes looked you up and down your body without shame and restraint, stopping on your ass. His tongue wet his lips as he tried to suppress the ever-growing urge to get his hands anywhere on your body.
He confidently walked over you, your cheeks burning as he leaned against the edge of the kitchen right next to you. The way he looked at you, his head tilted slightly to the side, a winky smile on his lips, his light-brown eyes looking up at you so intently they seemed to want to read into you. God, you'd drop everything and get down on your knees.
“You know Adam, I'm not just a piece of meat,” you pretended to be offended, as if it really didn’t flatter you to know he was attracted to you, as if you didn’t crave his eyes on you every minute, every second of the day. You took a sip of your coffee, trying to mask your disgust.
Adam chuckled. “It's not my fault, I can't help it if you're so beautiful,” he replied flirtatiously exploding every ounce of self-control you possessed, “This is for me isn't it?” he pointed the coffee.
He smiled as he noticed the blush on your cheeks and the way you tried to hide it. God, that was one of the things he most loved about you. How could you be so beautiful? So hot and sexy but so cute at the same time?
Adam stopped trying to explain to himself what he felt about you long time ago, the way you drove him crazy, the way he was always thinking about you, continuously, always, constantly.
“Oh yeah it's all yours,” you said, handing him the cup of coffee without hesitation. His fingers brushed yours as you did so and a shiver ran down your spine, giving you goosebumps. You tried to stop yourself from giggling like a little schoolgirl, not wanting to show him the effect he had on you.
But he knew it all right, because that was exactly what happened to him.
“And by the way, you're not so bad either, Ruzek,” you looked him up and down and this simple sentence was enough for Adam to lose his head and feel his dick twitch in his pants.
Adam took a deep breath, looking at the ceiling for a moment as if trying to regain control of himself. “Y/N, Y/N…” he murmured your name like a prayer before returning his eyes to you. “What am I going to do with you?”.
“What are you talking about? What did I do?”, you asked in a dumb tone. He didn't answer you, but kept looking at you, studying every millimeter of your beautiful face, feeling his hands tingle from trying to repress the desire to touch you. The sexual tension between you two was so high it could fuel the entire city of Chicago, the air so tense anyone within miles would notice the way you looked at each other, how you were drawn to each other like magnets.
He set the cup of now-cold coffee in the sink before caressing your face, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. You stopped breathing for a second as your subconscious kept hoping he'd kiss you until he took your breath away.
“Make me lose my goddamn mind.”
Oh God.
“I'm not doing anything,” you whispered, your eyes always fixed on his so lively and brilliant eyes. They were so bright, so full of life and joy that just looking at them was able to calm you when everything seemed to fall apart.
His eyes kept alternating between your eyes and lips. His mind raced as he tried to think of all the reasons why he shouldn't press his lips to yours, but right now he could only think of a thousand reasons why he should do it instead.
“We shouldn't be that close,” you muttered, your voice so low, not convinced by your own words. “I know, we shouldn't,” he whispered back but remaining in that position. His thumb caressed your cheeks softly, his touch so light and delicate that made you forget everything around you, “But I can't help it.”
A sudden noise immediately pulled you away from each other and you prayed with every fiber of your being it wasn't Voight.
“Finished playing lovebirds?” Kevin's amused voice broke that magical moment between you and Adam.
“Oh… Uhm… H-he was pulling an eyelash out of my eye,” you blurted out the first excuse that crossed your mind, ignoring Kevin's gaze. Adam was trying to suppress the smile that threatened to come across his lips as you stuttered embarrassedly. He had to resist the urge to pull you to him and hug you.
“Sure like you weren’t about to tear your clothes off,” Kevin laughed back.
“I… I have to go to the bathroom…” you stammered and then started walking away from the break room to finally be able to breathe.
“Not so fast honey, we have a new case, I came here to call you guys.”
Adam tried to suppress the annoyance that just hearing Kevin call you 'honey' gave him.
Fuck's sake get a grip.
How had he gotten to the point he even felt jealous of his friend calling you ‘honey’?
You and Adam had always had this kind of relationship, ever since you started working in the Intelligence. From the first moment there had been a feeling between you, a feeling you had few times in your life and that brought you closer to the point every occasion was good for you two to flirt and tease each other.
But over time, your relationship deepened and soon what was a simple flirting became something more, from both of you. Neither of you came forward with the fear of rejection from the other and that's how you ended up in this state of limbo, in which you both desired each other from afar, in which every time you found yourself close the tension skyrocketed.
You didn’t say anything, exited the break room at light speed while Adam obviously followed you with his gaze, watching you carefully. When you were out of sight of him, he glanced at Kevin who laughed at the sudden change of his facial expression. He had gone from a beaten and hopelessly in love puppy to a furious hyena.
“Thank you so much Kev,” he nudged him lightly.
“Hey! What did I do? I just came to call you, we happen to be at work in case you forgot. I know you are so madly in love with each other and bla bla bla but I want to remind you we are in the district, in our unit, with Voight.”
Adam rolled his eyes. “I'm not in love and… Fuck’s sake just mind your business.”
Now that was a good lie, he was very much in love with you, and a lot too.
“So you don't mind if I ask her out do you?” Kevin asked with mock seriousness just to test his friend’s patience and from the way he looked at him as if he was ready to knock him down, he knew he had managed to do it.
“Say it one more time and I'll punch you in the fucking face,” Adam said and for some strange reason Kevin figured he was serious.
He laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “I was just joking man, I would never do it.”
The case concerned a large exchange of drugs that would’ve been made that same day and which an Antonio’s informant had told him about. With the whole team, you opted for a silent flash attack, in order to surprise the traffickers in the middle of the exchange and arrest them all.
You were all armed with shotguns and bulletproof vests and once you arrived at the place where the drug trade was about to take place, you split up as agreed: Kim went with Antonio and Voight, Jay with Hailey and finally you with Adam.
“Hey, be careful okay?” Adam had whispered in your ear just before entering. You turned to him and smiled. “Be careful too,” you replied.
The building where the drug trade would take place was abandoned and from the dust and the amount of junk it had been in disuse for many years. It was the perfect place for a drug trade, it was spacious, disused, isolated, no one would ever suspect the illegal activities that took place there.
After the team split up, you and Adam headed into the back entrance of the massive building, stepping in silently and fingers close to the trigger ready to fire whenever necessary. The traffickers worked on kilos of drugs and judging by the quantity present, it must’ve been worth a lot of money.
Your heart was pounding, so hard you could almost hear it in your ears. It didn't matter how many missions like these you had done, how many drug exchange attempts you had thwarted, the anxiety in those moments of suspense would always be present.
That was the perfect time to intervene, those men never expected the police to be there. You waited for Voight's signal from the headset transceiver connected to your ear, at which point you all exclaimed.
“Chicago PD! Everyone down and hands up!”
At that point chaos ensued.
The men wasted no time and immediately started to shoot, beginning a firefight that forced all of you to hide. You and Adam hid behind a wrecked car, firing your rifles. The sound of gunfire echoed in that establishment, bullet shells flew here and there on the dirty and dusty floor, and those traffickers had no intention of giving up. You hated to admit it, but they were giving you a hard time.
After unloading a full loader, you sat down to protect yourself and put a new one into the rifle. Adam glanced at you with the corner of his eyes before returning his gaze in front of him and firing a few shots and then bending down to shelter from the shots.
“Holy shit,” he cursed and you couldn't help but agree with him. It was a horrible situation.
You peeked out with your head and shot a trafficker who was about to shoot in your direction at the same time, whose body fell lifeless to the ground.
As you were about to take cover at that very moment your gaze fell causally next to Adam and with horror you noticed a weapon aimed at him, a man ready to shoot him.
“Adam! Get down!” you screamed and instinct prevailed. Before he could even figure out what was happening, you lunged at him, pushing him to the ground and shooting the man at the same time but not before he too fired a few shots as he fell to the ground.
Time stopped for an instant and everything went in slow motion. You didn't immediately understand what happened only when a throbbing pain went through your abdomen. You didn't immediately realize you'd been hit by a bullet.
Adam lifted himself off the ground only then realizing you were lying on the floor.
“Y/N!” he exclaimed in horror feeling his heart nearly stop in his chest. He knelt down next to you. “It's okay, it's okay baby, you’re gonna be okay.”
Out of the corner of your eye you noticed the criminal you shoot get up and run away.
“Fuck,” you hissed in pain “Adam he is running away…”
“Like hell I'm leaving you alone,” he urged, pulling off your bulletproof vest and heaving a sigh of relief when he saw the bullet had been stopped by the vest. You pushed his hand away, trying to breathe deeply. “Adam go! I am fine just go!” you exclaimed aloud, making your pain increase.
Adam found himself conflicted, for the first time in his life unable to decide what to do. He didn't want to leave you alone, not when you were suffering like that and unable to defend yourself, but at the same time he wanted to take that son of a bitch, not because he was a criminal, but for daring to hurt you.
“Baby, it’s okay, I'm fine I promise,” you continued, patting his hand encouragingly noting his hesitation. “Go.”
Adam reluctantly got up and started chasing after the criminal – who wounded, didn't run very far – not before alerting your teammates you had been hit and were on the ground unprotected while he was doing the chase.
“Chicago PD! Stop!” yelled Adam as he ran after the man. He tried to increase his pace but the bullet that had hit him had weakened him a lot since, unlike you, there was no bulletproof vest to protect him.
It wasn't long before Adam caught up with the criminal. He threw himself on him causing him to crash to the ground and before he could even defend himself, Adam had punched him in the face.
Then another one.
And one more time.
He was blinded by rage, the image of you lying on the ground in pain as you struggled to breathe etched perfectly into his memory with every punch he landed.
“Son of a bitch!” he yelled in his face as another punch collided with the smuggler's face.
“Adam! Stop for fuck's sake or you'll kill him!” Jay exclaimed, running towards him and pushing Adam away from the man lying on the ground almost unconscious.
“Let me go!” Adam tried to escape from Jay's grip as he pushed him away from the man before breaking free and running to you, showing no remorse for beating the criminal.
He found you in the same spot, this time leaning against the car while Hailey was next to you. During the firefight almost all of the traffickers were killed, while some were handcuffed and arrested.
“It's okay, help is on the way,” she tried to reassure you even though the only person you needed was Adam. “Take small breaths, everything will be fine.”
“Y/N! Hey, hey, I'm here,” you breathed a sigh of relief if it wasn't so painful. She immediately knelt beside you, cupping her face in her hands, her heart in a vise as she saw you in so much pain.
“You'll be fine okay? Everything will be fine. How are you feeling?”.
“It hurts like hell,” you cursed. Damn it, you almost forgot how much it hurt a bullet hit.
Hailey at that moment said she’d walk away to help the others, leaving you and Adam alone.
“I know, I know it hurts, baby I'm so sorry” he stroked your face “Can I take a look?”.
You nodded and, trying to be as delicate as possible, he lifted your shirt, almost blanching when he saw the extent of the damage and the huge bruise caused by the bullet.
“It's that bad huh?”.
Adam had to swallow the lump in his throat, the guilt wearing him down because he knew that bullet was meant for him. God, he would’ve taken ten bullets rather than see you suffer even one second of your life. He hated seeing you like that, he hated not protecting you, he hated you took that bullet instead of him.
“I'm so sorry sweetheart…”
“Is this a way of saying 'thank you for saving my life'?” you tried to joke but the serious and destroyed expression on Adam's face suggested he wasn't in mood for jokes.
“It was meant for me, it should’ve been me,” he sighed and you took his hand with yours, stroking the back of it.
“It’s not your fault, I’d do it again thousand times.”
At that moment the paramedics arrived and after many oppositions you had yourself examined, under the inquiring gaze of Adam who never left your side.
Once you arrived at Med's it was Will who visited you. “How much does it hurt from one to ten?”.
“Four,” you answered but flinced when he gently patted your abdomen.
“Y/N.” he admonished you.
“Fine, shit,” you hissed in pain “Eleven.”
“Why are you cops so stubborn? I swear, you're all the same, always thinking you're superheroes.”
“I just want to go home Will, please give me a couple of painkillers and let me go,” you begged.
You began to feel dizzy and a wave of nausea washed over you as the pain gradually became more and more intense and unbearable.
“You're not going anywhere miss,” Will stated “Judging by the abdominal distension I'd say there's internal bleeding but I'll do an ultrasound just to make sure.”
“Will...” you muttered feeling the need to vomit “I have to... I have to throw-...” you couldn't finish the sentence you lifted up slightly and started throwing up, but the nurse present was quick enough to take a basin nearby and place it in front of you.
“It's definitely internal bleeding,” Will said after doing the abdominal ultrasound.
Your vision started to get blurry and your heart pounding so fast, you felt like it was about to stop.
“I can't... I can't breathe...”
Adam – who meanwhile was in the waiting room – had almost dug a trail in the floor due to his continuous back and forth, feeling anxious like never before.
He hated waiting, having to sit there with folded hands and not being able to do anything to help you while you were in the operating room and Rhodes was operating on you to contain the internal bleeding. The guilt was wearing him down even though rationally he knew it wasn't his fault.
He felt guilty because he had always promised himself he’d protect you from everything and everyone, he’d kill rather than risk someone hurting you, he felt guilty because he was the one who was supposed to be on the operating table.
The moment you threw yourself at him to protect him kept playing in his mind over and over again, like a videotape playing over and over again. Why had you risked your life like that to protect him?
He couldn't blame you, God he would’ve done the exact same thing, but he couldn't help but be mad at you for doing such a stupid thing. Why did you do it?
-
The surgery lasted about an hour and when you woke up the first thing – or rather person – your eyes rested on was Adam, whose arm was around your waist, his head resting on your belly as he embraced you, his eyes closed.
He wasn't really sleeping, in fact as he felt your fingers in his hair, he jerked up, his eyes widening when he saw you were finally awake.
“Y/N, baby, oh my god thank god you're awake,” he gushed, leaning down and hugging you. “I missed you so much, thank God you're okay.”
You smiled, returning that hug with all the strength you had in your body. “I missed you too.”
“How are you? Are you okay now? Does it hurt?” he peppered you with questions once you broke away from the hug. He sat back on the chair again, but entwined his fingers with yours, never letting go. Your heart almost exploded as he brought your hand to his lips leaving a small kiss on the back.
“I feel a little numb but overall I'm fine,” you replied. “Were you always here?”.
“Of course, I’d never leave you alone baby.”
It must’ve been the stun caused by the surgery but only then you noticed the scratches and small lesions on Adam's knuckles.
“My god Adam, what happened to your hands?”.
“Oh baby you realized it a little too late,” Adam chuckled.
“Adam.”
He shrugged nonchalantly. “I may have landed a few punches.”
“Adam!” you exclaimed raising your voice, a painful expression appeared on your face.
“Hey, hey, take it easy,” he spoke concerned “Y/N…” he sighed, “That son of a bitch hurt you, I… I completely lost control.
“Adam, you could get yourself into serious trouble.”
“Honestly? I don't give a fuck. If anything happened to you he wouldn't have to worry about just some punches.”
“Always acting like a macho huh?” You tried not to smile even though his protective side was one of the things you loved most about him.
“Don't even joke Y/N. When it comes to you I lose my mind,” he softly spoke “When I saw you lying on the ground, I feared for a second I lost you and I don’t want to feel like that ever again.”
You let go of his hand only to rest it on his cheek, gently stroking his cheeks and beard. “If something happened to you I would never have forgiven myself. Really Adam… When I saw that guy pointing the gun at you… I didn't understand anything anymore, I didn't want something to happen to you.”
“What you did is very stupid,” he scolded, his eyes watering as he leaned against your touch and you chuckled.
“You would’ve done the same.”
“Absolutely”
“So why shouldn't I?”.
“Because I need you Y/N, I can't think of being without you.”
This little confession cut the breath out of your lungs and the way he looked at you, God, it was so intense you could hardly maintain eye contact but something had bewitched you. There were so many things you wanted to tell him though, so many things you wanted to confess but your brain had shut down and not a single coherent, rational thought crossed your mind.
“Baby…” Adam whispered and that simple word sent a flock of butterflies into your stomach. “I can’t take this anymore…”
“W-what?”.
“Now I’m looking at you and… And you're so fucking beautiful even though you're on a goddamn bed and wearing a hospital gown and you… You’re looking at me like that… You make me lose my mind,” he blathered, not even knowing if whether or not what he was saying made sense but god he couldn't even think straight anymore, he felt so out of control and that was the effect you had on him. It didn't matter how or why, but you were capable of sending every single neuron of his brain into a tailspin, you were capable of giving him tachycardia when you even just looked at him, you were capable of making him forget the whole world.
“How am I looking at you?” you whispered.
“And when you play dumb like that, like you don't even know the effect you have on me, how you drive me crazy,” he went on “How you made me fall so madly in love with you.”
You widened your eyes and your mouth in shock, hardly believing what you had just heard.
You were speechless.
Completely speechless, and it was a rather rare occurrence.
You had dreamed of that moment for so long, you almost couldn't believe it. For a moment you even thought you were still under the influence of anesthesia and everything was happening was just a figment of your imagination.
“I'm sorry to say it like that, I know it must’ve been unexpected for you but after what happened today… I didn't want to waste any more time, life is so short and… Fuck… I know I probably screwed it all…-” he began talking again noticing your silence but you stopped him by placing your index finger on his lips.
“Kiss Me.”
Adam nearly had a heart attack, for a moment fearing he needed a hospital bed. Did he hear it right? Or was it just a hallucination?
You were about to speak again when he leaned towards you, pressing his lips against yours in a longed-for and much-desired kiss.
His hands cupped your face as he completely took your breath away. His lips were warm and soft against yours, just as you had imagined so many times. Your fingers were in his hair and it didn't take long because everything else disappeared, making you forget you were in a hospital room.
You bit his lip and he almost moaned at that sensation, this gesture further increasing the visceral need and desire he felt for you.
“Fuck don't do that again,” he murmured against your lips, finding it hard to control and stop himself. You didn't answer instead you kissed him again. You were so bewitched by Adam and as his scent flooded your nostrils, a thousand butterflies danced in your stomach.
All the pain you felt went in the background, only he existed at that moment, only his lips that continued to devour you in an intense kiss. Your head was spinning, your heart was pounding, your hands tingling, shivers ran down your spine.
“Stop, stop, Jesus Christ, we have to stop or I won’t control myself,” he whispered, pulling away from the kiss for a moment as both of your chests rose and fell as you caught your breath. “You drive me so damn crazy baby, I don't know what to do with you.”
Your eyes were fixed on his even if they alternated on his little swollen lips, red from the kiss. You were overwhelmed by the feeling you had for that man and you knew in that precise moment that a new chapter in your life had just opened, a chapter you couldn't wait to live. Your nose continued to slightly touch his, your lips brushing his, your thumbs stroking his cheeks.
“I'm so madly in love with you too Adam Ruzek,” were the first words you said after the kiss and just for the way he looked at you, you’d take hundred of those bullet and relieve the pain all over again, to see the expression of pure joy and the smile on his beautiful face.
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Our Little Secret
Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader
Requested: no
Summary: Y/N heads by to check on Adam and later finds herself in an awkward situation. But maybe it was just the one thing that needed to give both her and Adam a push.
Square Filled: Waking up next to each other for #resa.3kfiestabingo
Word Count: 1.4K+
Warnings: none
A/N: Let's just say I got into my protect Adam Ruzek feels thanks to a certain troll. So this is a fic that no one asked for.
ADAM RUZEK MASTERLIST
You paused just outside Adam’s door, your hand raised to knock.
Of course, your brain hadn’t stopped you earlier when you’d heard that Adam had been sent home because he wasn’t well, since the only thought you had had was that he must really be feeling under the weather, which only worried you. Your brain hadn’t stopped you when you’d got into your car or even when you’d pulled up in front of Adam’s apartment.
And then it decided to start this now?
You were already here so you rapped the door anyway, hearing shuffling footsteps before the door opened.
“You look like shit.” You said, even though you were a little worried by how Adam looked.
Adam stepped back to let you in. “Gee, thanks, Y/N.”
You smiled, raising the bag you were holding. “I come in peace.”
Stepping into Adam’s apartment confidently almost as if it was your own, you moved past him, putting the bag down on the short coffee table in front of the couch and turning back towards Adam who was already sitting on the couch.
Without saying a word, you inched closer towards him, putting a hand on his forehead.
Adam glanced up in surprise but you weren’t looking at him, your frown just deepening. “How long has your fever been running like this?”
“I’m fine.” Adam said and you rolled your eyes.
“Yeah, yeah.” You said. “Have you eaten today?”
The silence was as much answer as you needed. You shook your head and took out a bowl of soup from the bag you were carrying.
Adam looked like he wanted to argue but closed his mouth when he saw the look on your face. Instead, he lowered his head and accepted the bowl, taking small spoons of the soup you'd brought while you got up to get him some water and medicine.
“Here.” You said, your voice more gentle now as you took the half empty bowl out of his hands and handed him the tablet.
Adam glanced up at you.
“What, you think I’m gonna poison you?”
Adam just smiled, putting the pill in his mouth and swallowing.
“Alright, come on. I’ll take care of you.” You said, half joking.
Adam let you pull him to his feet but argued feebly. “I don’t need to be taken care of.”
“Yes you do.” You said, aware that your hand was clamped around his wrist now. Adam argued with you all the way to his room as you let him get into bed.
“I don’t…”
“Yeah, yeah.” You answered again. “Just sleep it off.”
You left him in bed, heading out to clear the bowls and glasses left behind, making another round around his living room before going back into his room to check on him.
Adam had fallen asleep, rightly so since even though he hated to admit it, he was sick.
But his fever hadn’t subsided and he barely stirred even when you put a hand to his head again. You were still worried but instead of overreacting, you dropped yourself to the floor at a safer distance on the other side of his bed, wanting to stay close by in case his fever spiked. Your eyes unconsciously drifted towards him once in a while as he slept.
Adam stirred, noting to himself that sleep was probably what he needed more than anything because he felt much better, until he registered his arm draped over…
He opened his eyes, freezing when he realized what his arm was draped over.
You.
Adam swallowed, as your eyes opened.
You’d already been awake but you were afraid to wake Adam if you moved since his hand was draped across you, so you’d closed your eyes again. And you’d opened them just to peek, meeting his alarmed brown ones now.
Startled, you threw yourself backwards this time, tumbling out of Adam’s bed with a crash.
“Y/N!”
If you could, you’d dig a hole in Adam's floor and crawl your way out of his apartment right now.
You were pretty sure you knew what had happened, as you felt the chill hit you from where you were seated on the floor now, despite the heating within the apartment. You’d probably nodded off to sleep and in a half-awake state had moved towards somewhere you could find warmth. Never mind that the warmth was under the covers of Adam’s bed, which he was also in.
“Y/N, you okay? Did you hurt yourself?” Adam was out of bed and kneeling in front of you now. And all you wanted to do was hide.
You looked up at him. “Yeah, I… Adam, I’m sorry. I don’t know what… I…”
Adam couldn’t help the small smile, as the corners of his lips turned up. “Hey, honest mistake, right?” Although Adam wished to God, it wasn’t.
You looked up now. “How’s the fever?” You asked.
Adam spread his arms out, as if to prove a point. “Told you I’d be fine.”
As if you needed to wash out the embarrassment, you mumbled something about getting some food for the both of you, before you dashed back out of his room.
Adam watched you rush towards his kitchen, smiling but also catching the barely formed thought in his mind of how it felt kind of nice waking up next to you.
Adam glanced up at you. “Soup?”
Now that you’d had some time to let the feeling of embarrassment wash over you, things felt slightly more normal again.
In a bid to pretend like what had happened earlier that day didn't send the butterflies flapping their wings at twice their normal speed in your gut, you started talking. "I don’t care if your fever is down. You still get sick people food… for today.”
Adam made a small groaning noise as you put it in front of him, which only made you smile. You kind of liked how he was only like this with you. Anyone else who saw him outside on another day would never see this side of him.
"What would I do without you?" Adam said with a smile as you put the food in front of him.
You chuckled. "Yeah Ruze, what would you do without me?"
Adam smiled and nodded like he was agreeing with you. "Who else would accidentally fall asleep next to me?"
You felt your face turn red and you wanted to chuck something at him. Instead, you didn't answer, looking down.
Adam glanced up and smiled. "Relax, Y/N. It's forgotten, alright? Our little secret." He paused. "If that's what you want."
You narrowed your eyes at him but something felt different in the air, a little charged.
Swallowing, you handed him a glass of water from his own kitchen, busying yourself with clearing the now empty bowls from his kitchen counter.
When you looked up, Adam was watching you.
“In all seriousness, though.” Adam said. “Thanks for coming by.”
You smiled. “Of course, Adam. I’ll always…” You paused. “You can always count on me.”
A small silence fell between the two of you before Adam. “Y/N.”
You glanced up, the counter separating the two of you now empty save for the glass of water that Adam had been drinking out of.
“About today…”
You sighed. “Adam, I thought this was forgotten? Look, I’m sorry and if I made things weird…”
Adam shook his head, pushing his chair backwards and standing. “That’s not what I wanted to say.”
You frowned in confusion but waited for him to continue.
“Is it weird if I tell you that it was kind of nice? You know, waking up next to you. Seeing you the moment I opened my eyes, at least.” Adam said, his voice soft and a little tentative.
“You... what?”
Adam shrugged. “It doesn’t have to be a big deal. I just wanted to tell you…”
You reached for his hand now, taking one step towards him and slipping it into his. He looked up, a little shocked but his eyes tinged with a little hope that sparkled in his warm eyes.
“Yeah.” The word slipped out of your mouth, quiet and soft, but felt like it filled the apartment.
You and Adam had been dancing around each other for so long, you’d almost felt like maybe you’d dreamed all the little flirtations, or the moments you’d been a little too close. Suddenly, you didn’t feel like waiting anymore.
Adam squeezed your hand gently. “So, will you let me wake up next to you again, maybe?” He asked.
Your eyes flicked up towards his. "You're asking me to..."
Adam smiled and leaned forward to put his arms around you and you smiled into his shoulder. “Yeah, I’d love to wake up next to you.” You whispered, looping your arms around his waist.
Maybe a third person wouldn’t have gotten all the unspoken words Adam and you were saying, but you and Adam knew. And that was enough.
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Changes
Summary: When Lyla’s world is turned upside down, she turns to harmful and unhealthy coping methods.
TW: Self Harm, Alcohol, Substance Abuse, Vaping, Blood, Sexual Assault, Anxiety, Swearing, Awful Writing
Word Count: 7k
Note: Hi! This is the first fanfic I’ve ever posted so it’s kinda bad but oh well lol I hope you like it (:
Lyla woke up in a cold sweat, desperately gasping for air. She sprung up in her bed, clutching her blanket like a lifeline that would help her escape. Obviously, it didn’t work. She told herself to take deep breaths, in and out slowly, and after what felt like forever, her breathing slowed, heart following suit.
She checked the time, groaning softly in annoyance as it was only 2:57 in the morning. She rested her head against her headboard, allowing the tears she felt forming to fall. It was her fault. It wouldn’t have happened if she would’ve just stayed home.
It was supposed to be fun. She was supposed to have a good time, enjoying herself, her brothers not knowing a thing. Of course, Jay and Will would never let Lyla go to a party, but they didn’t have to know, right? It would be fine. Her and her best friend Caleb would sneak away, have a drink or two, then Lyla would make it home before Jay and Will did, since they had to work late anyway. She’d be fine, besides, if anything went wrong, Cal would be there for her.
Well, that’s what Lyla thought, anyway. She had known, trusted, and loved Cal in a platonic way since they were little. They did everything together. They told each other everything. They shared their fears, their insecurities, the problems they each faced as teenagers. They trusted each other. She trusted Cal, until that trust was broken in a way Lyla never imagined possible. Her best friend betrayed her, leaving her to pick up the pieces.
She reached over for the hydro flask on her nightstand and pulled up the straw. She hesitated for a second, knowing she’d regret it later, but took a large sip of the alcohol she put inside, having stolen it from her brothers. It helped her fall asleep, even if it didn’t keep her asleep. She hadn’t been sleeping well since the party. She just wanted to sleep, so badly.
She put her water bottle back on her desk, resting her head on her pillow. What would Jay and Will think, she thought, if they knew what she was doing to herself? If they knew what Cal did to her? She couldn’t tell them, she couldn’t see the look of disappointment on their faces. She couldn’t and she wouldn’t.
After a while she gave up on trying to go to sleep. When she saw that it was only 3:14, she groaned in annoyance and stared up at her ceiling. She thought about how things would be different if she didn’t go to that party. If she would have just listened to Jay and Will, everything would be fine. Why couldn’t she just listen?
Her heart began to race as guilt presented itself. She sat up and put her head in her hands, tugging roughly at her hair as if that would help. When it didn’t and the guilt got worse, she grabbed her phone from her night stand. She then jumped off of her bed and rushed to her bathroom, making sure the door didn’t slam, and locked her door.
She turned on the light and put her hands on the counter, looking at herself in the mirror. She knew she’d feel guilty later, but she told herself it’s what she needed to do, because she’d feel fine now, and the pills would help later. She hesitated for a moment longer, and then grabbed her phone. With shaky hands she removed her phone case, revealing the blade she kept inside.
She grabbed the blade and looked at it for a moment, considering if this would be a good idea. She shook her head as if to shake away those thoughts and carefully set the blade on the counter. She then rolled up the sleeve of her hoodie, revealing the already cut and scarred arm. She took a deep breath, grabbed the blade and put it to her arm. She began cutting, watching as the blade pierced her skin, blood pooling around the blade. She removed the blade, and when the guilt still resided, she made another cut. Guilt finally gone, she rolled her sleeve down, blood trickling down her arm, and made sure no blood was on the ground. After cleaning what was on the ground, she put her blade and phone case back, turned off her light and exited the bathroom.
She laid back down on her bed, putting her phone on her night stand, and pulled her blanket around her. Somehow, and she had no idea how, she managed to fall asleep.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Lyla’s somewhat peaceful slumber was interrupted by a knock on her door, making her jump.
“Lyla, it’s 6:00.” Jay announced, and Lyla rubbed her eyes. When she didn’t answer, he knocked again.
“Don’t make me come in there.”
“Okay, okay, I’m up!” Lyla pulled the covers off and hopped out of bed. She thought about making her bed, but she decided against it. She chose an outfit- a dark colored long sleeved shirt, gray leggings and her favorite black hoodie, and made her way to her bathroom. She washed her face, brushed her hair and teeth, and began getting dressed.
Everything was fine, until she changed her shirt, and she remembered what she had done to herself earlier that morning. The guilt began coming back and tears began to form in her eyes. Why couldn’t she just keep clean? Why didn’t she just tell Jay and Will? Why didn’t she stay home in the first place?
She quickly put her shirt on and rolled up her sleeves. She then made her way out of the bathroom and grabbed her book bag. She opened the smaller pocket in the front and began searching around with her hands, until she found her vape. She knew this would make her feel guilty, so she closed her book bag and moved to her bed. She grabbed her pillow and slowly grabbed the bottle of pills she hid, making sure not to shake them. She then moved to her window, opened it, and hit her vape a few times. She closed her window and made her way to her bathroom, vape still in hand. She closed her door and poured one onto her hand. She swallowed it, without water, and placed the bottle on the counter, looking at herself in the mirror. She hated herself for this, but she couldn’t tell Jay or Will.
It was a constant cycle, drink alcohol to sleep, cut to get rid of the guilt from drinking, vape to get rid of the guilt from cutting, pop pills to get rid of the guilt from vaping, cut to get rid of the guilt from popping pills. It started to drive her crazy, but she couldn’t stop. She wanted to, but it was the only thing that helped her with the triggers, the stress, and the guilt for not listening to her brothers.
She felt a tear fall, and she wiped it away quickly. She put the lid back on the bottle of pills and made her way out of the bathroom. She quietly put her pills back in her pillow case and decided to make her bed, because she knew Jay and Will were beginning to catch on. She didn’t want them searching her room, because she knew she'd get in so much trouble. She then put her vape back in her book bag and slung her book bag over her shoulder. She grabbed her phone and ear buds from her night stand, deciding to leave her hydro flask. She put her hair up in a messy bun as she checked the time-6:26, turned her light off and exited her bedroom.
“Good morning.” Jay greeted as Lyla made her way down the stairs. She made her way to the island and took a seat as Jay made breakfast.
“Morning.” Lyla mumbled, opening her phone and scrolling through Instagram.
“Someone’s grumpy.” Will retorted as he entered the room, taking a seat next to Lyla, who just rolled her eyes at the comment. They sat there, a somewhat comfortable silence falling over them, until Will spoke up.
“You okay?” Will asked, showing concern for his sister. Jay and Will noticed changes in Lyla’s attitude and noticed she had become distant.
“Yeah.” Lyla replied, keeping her focus on her phone.
“Are you sure?” Jay butted in, setting a plate of pancakes in front of his sister, “You’ve been acting a little different.”
“Yeah, I’m fine.” Lyla and her brothers knew she was lying through her teeth, but she didn’t care. Jay and Will shared a look.
“Hey,” Will started, his voice soft, “You know you can talk to us if something’s wrong, right?”
“Yep, but like I said, I’m fine.” Lyla was starting to get irritated, the pills not having kicked in yet.
“Lyla, if something’s going on we just wanna-”
Lyla slammed her phone down, making Jay and Will jump.
“I said I’m fine! How many times do I have to tell you guys? Just leave me alone!” She grabbed her phone and air-pods, jumped off the stool and made her way to the front door, despite how early it was.
“You’re not gonna eat?” Jay asked, still shocked that Lyla had just snapped.
“I’m not hungry!” She yelled as she slammed the door, leaving her brothers dumbfounded.
“That went well.” Will remarked, still shocked Lyla had reacted that way.
“Yep.” Jay replied as he sat down next to his older brother, worry for his sister growing by the second.
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Lyla made her way to the park, shocked at the way she had just acted.
She had never, ever yelled at Jay or Will like that, and it scared her.
She threw her book bag on the picnic table and pulled her vape out. She closed her book bag and made her way over to the swings, sitting down on one and placing her bag on another.
She put her air-pods in at full volume and hit the vape a few times, trying to block out the world and what had just happened. When that didn’t work, she let the tears fall.
She was angry at herself for the way she had just acted. She knew her brothers were just trying to figure out what was wrong so they could help her. She was beyond pissed and upset, because she was taking out the anger she felt for herself on her brothers.
After a while, she stopped crying and she felt the pills kick in. She checked the time and saw that it was 7:15, which was the time she’d normally leave. She hopped off her swing, put her vape in her back pocket and grabbed her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder. She slowly walked to school, knowing she’d hate herself even more later.
Lyla was sitting in her third hour class, drawing on her desk, not even paying attention to what was going on. Unfortunately for her, the pill was starting to wear off.
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“Mr. Doherty?” The school’s secretary, Mrs. Lewis, called over the intercom. Lyla didn’t think anything of it, because the secretary called all of the teachers frequently.
“Yes?” Mr. Doherty replied.
“Could you send Lyla Halstead to the office?” This obviously caught Lyla’s attention. She looked up at her teacher, confused.
“Yes. She’ll be right there.”
“Alright. Thank you.” Mrs. Lewis hung up, and Lyla made her way to the classroom door.
“Do you know what they need you for?” Mr. Doherty inquired as Lyla reached the door.
Lyla looked towards her teacher, “No.” Then, she opened the door and left, confused as to why she was being called down to the office.
When she got in there, the principal, Mr. Kramer, was waiting for her, which scared her.
“Is everything okay?” Lyla asked, worried and confused at the same time.
“Yeah, everything’s okay.” Mr. Kramer started, which eased Lyla’s worries a bit. Mr. Kramer continued, “We just need you to get your book bag.”
“Am I being signed out?” Lyla inquired, confused as to why they would need her book bag. She wasn't sure this was the case, because they would've told her teacher over the intercom.
“Not exactly.” Mr. Kramer stated, “Just get your bag and we’ll go from there.”
“Okay.” Lyla replied, still very confused, and left the office to go get her book bag as instructed. She made it to her locker, put her combination in, and grabbed her book bag, trying to think of a reason they would need her bag. Then, she closed her locker, making sure it was locked, and made her way back to the office.
Once she got in there, she handed Mr. Kramer her backpack.
“Have a seat, Lyla.” Mr. Kramer instructed, and Lyla did so.
Lyla watched as Mr. Kramer opened her bag and began searching. She didn’t say a word, still confused, and it wasn’t until he opened the small pocket that it hit her-her vape.
Lyla had been careful, or so she thought. She rarely vaped at school unless it was outside, and she didn't think anyone would've seen her. Even if it wasn't the vape he was looking for, he'd find it now, but was that what he was looking for in the first place?
The latter was revealed to her when Mr. Kramer stopped searching and pulled out her vape. At that moment, she was very glad she didn’t bring her hydro flask.
Mr. Kramer sighed and turned to look at Mrs. Lewis, showing her the vape. She too sighed, surprised that Lyla would ever do such a thing.
“I’ll call her brother.” Mrs. Lewis stated and picked up the phone. Mr. Kramer turned back to Lyla, who had a look of guilt on her face.
“Go get the rest of your homework for the week.” Mr. Kramer instructed, and Lyla stood up and left the office.
The whole time, she was pissed, at herself, at whoever told on her, because that’s what had to have happened. She was just pissed at the world in general. What would Jay and Will think? This thought made her want to cry, because she knew they’d be livid and disappointed in her. How would they be able to trust her? She felt so, so guilty about everything, and it was stressing her out beyond belief.
Once she got her stuff from Mr. Doherty’s and her homework from the rest of her teachers, she grabbed the books and notebooks necessary for her work from her locker and made her way back to the office, putting her stuff in her book bag. She sat down in the seat, leg bouncing in anticipation.
Usually, she would’ve hoped it wasn’t Jay that showed up, but this time, she hoped it wouldn’t be Will that showed up, because first, doctors and vapes are like oil and water and second, the looks of disappointment she was sure he’d give her would destroy her even more. She couldn’t do that.
Unfortunately for Lyla, when the office door opened, it was Will that walked in and not Jay. He immediately looked to Lyla, who was staring at the floor.
“Mr. Halstead, please have a seat.” Mr. Kramer instructed.
“Please, call me Will.” Will started as he took a seat next to Lyla, “What’s this about?”
Mr. Kramer stood next to Mrs. Lewis, clearing his throat, “Well, a student came to my office this morning stating they had seen your sister vaping. We didn’t believe it until, well, we found this in her bag.” Mr. Kramer pulled out the vape, and Lyla looked up for a split second to read Will’s face. His features went from one of surprise to anger, and when he looked at her, she regretted looking up.
“Wanna explain yourself?” Will asked, a tinge of anger present in his voice. Lyla just stayed silent, returning her gaze to the ground, knowing he was more angry than he seemed.
Will sighed and looked back at Mr. Kramer, “What kind of punishment is she looking at?”
“She’s being suspended for the rest of the week and she’ll have one day of in school suspension.” Mr. Kramer said, and Will ran a hand down his face, disappointed and shocked Lyla would do this, still angry of course. Actually, angry would probably be an understatement.
“Alright. Is there anything you need me to sign?”
“You just need to sign her out.”
Lyla stayed seated as Will stood up and signed her out.
Once finished, Will turned to Lyla, “Let’s go.” Lyla got up and walked out of the door.
Before Will left, he turned to Mr. Kramer, “I’m sorry about this. I don’t know what’s gotten into her. I can assure you this will not happen again.”
“I’m sure it won’t. She’s a good kid. Don’t be too hard on her.” Will nodded his head, then followed Lyla out to his car.
Before Lyla made it outside, the bell rang, and students flocked out of the classrooms. She caught a glimpse of Cal, who actually waved at her as if nothing had happened at the party, and it made her want to throw up. She put her now shaking hands in her pockets as she made it to Will’s car, sitting in the backseat so she’d be as far away from him as possible.
Lyla had just buckled her seat belt when Will entered the driver’s seat and slammed the door.
“What the fuck Lyla? A vape? Really?” Will yelled, turning the car on and buckling his seat belt. Lyla just acted unfazed, because after what she had just seen with Cal, she knew she would crack, especially now that the pills were wearing off. She couldn’t do that, not right now.
Will turned around to face Lyla, “I’m so disappointed in you, Lyla. I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low.” Then, Will turned around and began driving, trying his hardest not to drive like a mad man.
Lyla tried to act unfazed, but those words kept echoing through her head. “I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low. I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low. I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low.” Her heart began to race and she felt like she was going to cry, but she couldn’t do that, she couldn’t give in. She needed to calm down, and the only thing that would calm her was cutting, and she couldn’t do that right now, not in Will’s car.
“I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low.” She began to pick at her thumbnail with her index finger, something she did when she was stressed. Even though she was glad she didn’t bring her hydro flask, she kind of wished she did.
“I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low.” She wanted the words to go away, she needed them to. Although she tried to stay calm, she began to breathe harder.
“Do you know how fucking dangerous vaping is?” Will yelled, not aware of how Lyla was feeling at all, “You’re so lucky I don’t take you to med to get checked out right now. And don’t think I’m not telling Jay about this.”
As Will kept ranting, Lyla thought about the look Jay would give her when he found out, how he’d yell at her as well. She then thought about Hailey. They’d both be so disappointed in her, for everything.
“I didn’t think you could stoop this fucking low.”
She pulled her knees to her chest as best she could with the seat belt in the way and buried her head in her knees. She thought of the party, of what Cal had done to her. She couldn’t handle the rush of memories, Will yelling, the looks she imagined Hailey and Jay would give her. She started silently crying, wishing Will would shut the fuck up and these images memories and words would leave her head.
“Out of all the things you could have possibly done, you chose to vape? Really?”
“Please stop.” Lyla begged softly, but Will couldn’t hear her. She felt like an object, like she didn’t matter to anyone. She felt like she couldn’t carry this weight anymore. She started to shake slightly as she wrapped her arms around her legs as tightly as she could and put her hands in her hair, tugging softly.
“Do you know how many kids your age I’ve seen in the ED because of vaping? Do you?” Lyla whimpered softly. Will looked in the rear-view mirror and sighed.
“Lyla-” Will’s voice became softer, kinder. He took a breath, “I’m sorry.” When Lyla didn't say anything, Will guessed it wasn’t just the vape that had been bothering her.
Will sighed, “Lyla, can you please tell me what’s going on?”
“No.” Lyla replied through tears, and it broke Will’s heart.
“Please? I just wanna help you.”
“I said no!” She took her hands out of her hair and gripped her arms, slightly digging into her cuts through her thick sleeves. Will sighed and just continued driving, knowing if he kept pushing she’d become too distressed and likely have a panic attack.
Lyla felt like she was going to explode. She just needed to make it to her bathroom.
She wished the words, images and thoughts would just leave, just until she was alone. She couldn’t take it. For the first time, she felt like giving up.
After what felt like hours, Lyla felt the car come to a stop. She looked up to see that they were finally at their house. She unbuckled her seatbelt, grabbed her book bag and exited the car. She waited for Will to unlock the door, and after he did so, she rushed to her room.
“Lyla-” Will tried to talk to her, but she was already halfway up the stairs. Her door slammed and Will sighed.
Lyla immediately made her way to her bathroom, phone in hand. She quickly removed her phone case and rolled her sleeves up. She began cutting, the most she’d cut at once, making new cuts and reopening older ones. She took a deep breath, cleaned the blade and counter top with toilet paper, put her blade and phone case back, rolled down her sleeves and exited the bathroom. She laid on her bed, face in her pillow, and cried silently to herself, guilty because of the vape and what she had just done to herself. She was glad she wore black because nobody would be able to see the blood, and the fact that she did this broke her even more.
She laid there for a while until she heard a knock on her door.
“Lyla, I’m coming in.” Will’s soft voice announced. Lyla rolled onto her back and sat up as the door opened.
“Are you feeling okay?” Will asked, seeing as Lyla had been crying. Lyla nodded.
“Do you want some water?” Will offered, and Lyla nodded her head. At this moment, she realized she had heard those words before.
“Alright. I’ll be right back.” Will told Lyla, and he walked out of her room to go downstairs and get a water bottle, Lyla's mind shifting to the night she'd heard those exact words before.
Lyla had been stressed with upcoming exams, hence coming to the party. She had a pretty bad headache, and the loud noises from the event weren’t helping, the opposite actually. She made her way to the kitchen where Cal was sitting.
“Are you feeling okay?” Cal asked, sounding concerned.
“Yeah, I’m good. I just have a headache is all.”
“Do you want some water?” Cal offered generously, holding out a water bottle.
“Sure.” Lyla accepted his offer, and Cal handed her the water bottle. Lyla took a few sips, feeling the cool liquid run down her throat.
“Thanks, Cal.” Lyla thanked sincerely.
“Yeah, no problem.”
If Lyla would’ve known what Cal had done to that water, she wouldn’t have accepted it.
“Lyla?” Will called out.
“What?” Lyla asked, having forgotten about their previous encounter.
“I got your water.” Will answered, concern filling his voice as he handed her the water.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah.” Will replied, “You alright? I called your name like 50 times.”
“Yeah. I’m fine.”
“Alright.” Will replied skeptically. He was about to say something else, when his phone went off. He pulled it out of his pocket and groaned as he read the notification.
“I have to get to Med.” Will sighed, “I’m gonna call Stella and see if she can watch you, alright?” Lyla nodded her head, and Will brushed a strand of hair out of her face, “I love you.”
“I love you, too.” Will planted a kiss on her forehead, then left her room.
Lyla waited until Will was gone before getting out of bed. Will had texted her saying Stella was on her way, so she knew she had to do this quickly. She grabbed her near empty hydro flask and made her way to her bathroom. She quickly washed it, then made her way into the kitchen. She opened the fridge and grabbed the bottle of Tequila that belonged to her brothers, opened her hydro flask and filled it up about half way. She put it back in the fridge, closed her hydro flask, and went to the main bathroom. She grabbed febreeze so Stella wouldn’t be skeptical, sprayed some, put it back and made her way up the stairs, hydro flask in hand. She closed her bedroom door and connected her air pods to her phone. She then chugged the contents in the hydro flask and made her way to her bathroom.
Once inside, she rewashed the hydro flask, brushed and flossed her teeth, then rinsed out with mouthwash. She made a few more cuts to take the guilt of drinking alcohol away. She cleaned the blood off of the counter, not really caring about cleaning her arms. She rolled up her sleeves as she exited the bathroom, putting her blade back once she was by her nightstand. She grabbed a packet of gum out of her nightstand drawer, popping three pieces into her mouth. She grabbed the water bottle Will had given her earlier and poured the contents into her hydro flask. She shuffled her Spotify playlist she’d been listening to lately and put her air pods in. She laid down on her bed, putting her phone and air pods case next to her. She pulled the covers over her as she quickly fell into a peaceful, drunken slumber.
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“Hey, Stella.” Jay greeted as he, Hailey and Will walked in, “Was Lyla good for you?”
“Hey! I checked on her once and she was asleep. I haven’t seen her since.”
“Oh. Well, thanks for being here anyway. I owe you one.”
“Don’t sweat it. I’m happy to help.” Then, Stella grabbed her stuff and left, heading for her shift at Molly’s.
“I’ll go check on her.” Will informed Jay and Hailey who nodded. He turned around and made his way upstairs to Lyla’s bedroom.
“Lyla?” Will called as he softly knocked on her door. When he didn’t get a response, he became kind of worried, and opened the door. He saw that she was fast asleep, which calmed him down. He was about to leave, when he thought he saw something on her right arm. He decided to check it out, just to be sure. When he made it over there, he saw what looked like dried blood that had trickled down her arm, which worried him. Curiosity got the best of him, and he gently grabbed her arm, slowly rolling up her sleeve.
When he saw the cuts, he wanted to cry. He flipped her arm and saw more cuts. He was relieved there weren't very many, until he realized her other arm would likely have more, being that she was right handed. This realization made him want to throw up. He didn’t think something could have been bothering Lyla this badly.
Lyla jolted awake from the contact, a nightmare having begun when Will opened the door.
“What the fuck?” She muttered, then she saw Will, “Will, what are you-?” She followed his gaze and saw her arm. She sat up a little in bed and slowly looked up, meeting Will’s worried eyes.
“Will, i-it’s not what it looks like-” Lyla tried to protest, but she was at a loss for words.
“Jay!” Will called for his younger brother.
“Will!” Lyla hissed as Jay came rushing in. She banged her head on her head board in annoyance and guilt. She was sure her secret wouldn't be a secret anymore.
“What’s up?” Jay inquired worriedly. He walked over to Will, and was shocked to see Lyla’s arm. He bent down and inspected it.
Jay was honestly at a loss for words. Lyla just ran a hand through her hair in exasperation and fear.
Jay walked over to Lyla’s left side and bent down.
“Can you roll this sleeve up?” Jay asked gently. Lyla knew there was no escape. She rolled her other sleeve up, revealing cuts all up and down her arm, at least twice as many as her right arm. Lyla felt tears form in her eyes and her heart began to race.
“Lyla,” Jay started, his voice soft, “Can you tell us why you did this?”
Lyla stayed silent, putting her hands to her eyes to try and stop the tears from flowing.
“Lyla,” Will spoke up after a moment, “Can you please tell us? We can help you.”
“No. I-It doesn’t matter. It’s my fault anyway.”
Jay and Will shared a look, then Jay spoke up, “Lyla, please. I promise we won’t be mad at you.”
Lyla looked at her brothers, their gazes a mix between soft and concerned. She knew it was now or never.
She sighed and took a deep breath, putting her head back and closing her eyes, “I snuck out to go to a party and Cal drugged and raped me.”
Even though the words were rushed, Jay and Will still heard them, and to say they were pissed at Cal was an understatement.
Lyla drew in a deep, shaky breath, “I-I’m sorry. If I would’ve listened-”
“Hey, look at me.” Jay instructed, his voice soft. Lyla met his gaze, and he grabbed her hand, “None of this, and I mean none of this, is your fault, okay? It’s Cal’s and only Cal’s.” Lyla nodded her head.
Will opened his arms, “Come here.” Lyla accepted the embrace and cried in Will’s arms while he rubbed her back soothingly.
He looked at Jay, “Go get him.” Will mouthed, rage in his eyes. Jay nodded and walked out of the room, Will turning his attention back to Lyla.
“Hey, what happened?” Hailey asked as she saw her husband coming down the stairs. She could tell he was beyond livid.
“Call Voight, tell him we have a case. I’ll explain on the way.” Jay grabbed his coat and keys and stalked out to the truck, Hailey following suit.
Meanwhile, Will had gotten Lyla to calm down.
“I want you to know none of this is your fault. Just because you snuck out doesn’t mean you’re the one to blame, okay?” Lyla nodded. Will planted a kiss on her head and got up.
“Will?”
“Yeah?”
“Can you stay with me?”
“Yeah, of course. I’m just gonna grab a blanket and pillow from my room, okay?” Lyla nodded her head.
After a few minutes, Will came back with his blanket and pillow. He turned off her light and laid down next to her, wrapping an arm around her protectively. She rested her head on his chest, enjoying his warmth. After a while, she finally fell asleep, feeling the safety she’d craved.
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“Voight.” Voight’s gruff voice came over the line. Jay and Hailey were in the truck, Jay racing towards the district, obviously using his lights and sirens.
“Hey Sarge.” Hailey started, “Jay has a case.”
“Talk to me, Halstead.”
Jay sighed, “Lyla told us she snuck out to a party and was drugged and assaulted. The offender is Caleb McCarthy, 15, no priors.”
“Alright. Do you know how long ago this happened?”
“No. I’ll call Will and have him ask Lyla.”
“Alright. I’ll call the team. Do you know where this prick lives?”
“Yeah.”
“Alright. Come to the district, we can debrief the team there.”
“Okay. Thanks, Sarge.”
“You don’t have to thank me. She’s family. I’ll see you in a few.” Then, Voight hung up.
Hailey rested a hand on Jay’s arm, “We’ll get him, Jay.”
“Yeah, I know. I just feel bad for her, you know? She had to carry this by herself for God knows how long.”
“Yeah.” Hailey squeezed Jay’s arm as they pulled into the district. Hailey got out of the truck and made her way to the bullpen as Jay called Will.
“What’s up?” Will asked, answering on the second ring.
“Can you ask Lyla when the party happened?”
“Yeah, hold on.” Will put the phone down and turned his attention to his sister. He gently rubbed her back.
“Lyla.” He said softly, and Lyla opened her eyes.
“Hey, I’m sorry to have to wake you, but I have to ask you something. Do you remember when the party happened?”
Lyla thought for a moment before answering, “October 15th."
“Alright. Thank you. You can go back to sleep now, okay?” Lyla nodded her head, resting it where it was a moment before.
Will picked up his phone, “October 15th.”
“Alright. Thanks man.”
“Yeah. Go get him.” Will hung up and pulled Lyla closer to him, planting a kiss on her head.
Jay walked into the district and buzzed himself up to the bullpen where the team was waiting, already aware of the situation.
“October 15th. That’s when the party happened.”
“Alright.” Voight started, scratching his head, “We’re gonna need more evidence. Go through his phone records, check his social media, anything we can. Let’s get this prick.”
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Will knew Maggie was on shift, so when he knew Lyla was asleep, he called her to tell her he was gonna need to use some of his vacation days. He didn’t tell her exactly what happened, just that it was a family matter.
Will was beyond pissed. He just hoped Jay would get that son of a bitch that had hurt his little sister, causing her to spiral to the point she was hurting herself. It broke his heart. He really wished they would’ve caught on sooner, because he knew they’d have more evidence.
He looked at Lyla who was currently sound asleep. She felt so fragile in his arms, so vulnerable, so scared. He figured that was the reason she had started vaping. He wanted to ask her if she was doing anything else, but he didn't want to push her. All she needed right now was her brothers to be there for her, and Will knew this.
Will didn’t understand how someone could do something so evil, so wrong, especially someone he knew Lyla trusted with her life. That’s what pissed Will off the most, was the fact that she trusted him since she was little. Her and Cal had been best friends since kindergarten, and he broke that bond so selfishly.
Suddenly, Lyla jolted awake, heart racing. Will’s heart broke, knowing exactly what was going on.
“Hey, hey, I got you. I’m right here.” Lyla’s heart slowed and she leaned into her brother.
“Did you have a nightmare?” Will asked gently, and Lyla nodded her head.
Will planted a kiss on top of her head, “It’s okay. Do you want your hydro flask?” Lyla nodded her head. Will used his free arm and grabbed the hydro flask, flipping the straw up. He handed it to her, and Lyla took it, taking a few sips of the water inside. She closed the straw and put it on the nightstand closest to her, feeling tears well up in her eyes.
“I should’ve stayed home.”
“No. Just because you snuck out doesn’t make it your fault. It’s not your fault, and it can not and never will be your fault.” Will pulled her closer, wanting her to know that she was safe and that none of this was her fault.
“Can you tell me a story?” Lyla asked.
“What kind of story?”
“I don’t know, like something you and Jay did together.”
Will thought for a moment, then chuckled when he thought of the perfect story.
“Okay. You know the Target by your school?” Lyla nodded her head, and Will continued, “One day, Jay and I ditched. We walked around, and when we got up to the Target, for some reason we decided to steal a shopping cart from the parking lot.”
“Jay jumped in the cart and I pushed him all the way until we got back to the school. I then had the idea to push the cart up the wheelchair ramp outside the front entrance and then push him down the stairs.”
“What happened?” Lyla inquired, kind of intrigued.
“Well, you know that big ass scar on his right arm?” Lyla nodded. “He has that because the cart flung Jay forward and he almost broke his arm. When Mom and Dad found out they grounded us for a month and we had to pay for the shopping cart we stole.”
“I thought you were smart.” Lyla retorted playfully.
“Hey!” Will protested, “I am smart!” Lyla giggled, and Will chuckled. He was glad he made her laugh, because that was the first time in forever that he saw her actually smile.
Lyla yawned, and Will held her tighter. After a while, she fell asleep again, leaving Will awake and pondering.
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“I think I got something!” Kevin announced from his desk. Everyone stood up and made their way to Kev’s desk.
“This tweet was posted around 9:00 the night of the party.” Kevin informed the team.
“Didn’t think drugging someone would be that easy.” Kim read the tweet, which was posted by Cal. It angered everyone, especially Jay.
“Doesn’t that count as a confession?” Jay asked Voight eagerly.
“To the drugging, yes, but to the rape itself, no. Anyone have anything else we can use?”
“I might.” Adam started, opening a vanilla folder, “I recovered some deleted texts Caleb sent to a contact named JJ that were sent the day after the party and, well, they’re pretty, um, gruesome.” Adam handed the paper with the messages to Voight, who began reading to himself. Let’s just say Voight became angrier by the second, and when Voight gets angry, well, you don’t want to mess with him.
“Kim, you get a warrant. Halstead, Upton, once we get the warrant, we’ll get this prick.” Voight demanded, and the three of them grabbed their coats. Voight would’ve made Jay stay, but after reading those texts, he didn’t really care.
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Having secured the arrest warrant, Jay sped off to Cal’s house, Voight following close behind. When they got there, Jay parked the truck in front of Cal’s house, and he and Hailey hopped out, Voight following behind.
Hailey knocked on the door, and after a few moments, Cal opened the door.
“Hi, Hailey.” Cal greeted, “What’s up?”
“Hey, Caleb.” Hailey replied sarcastically, faking a smile, “I need you to get against the wall for me.”
“What, why?” Cal asked, seemingly confused.
“Get against the wall, now.” Jay commanded using his don’t fuck with me tone of voice, and Cal did as told.
Jay pushed in front of Hailey and walked into the house, handcuffs out. He first patted Cal down, then he began cuffing him, when Cal’s mom and dad came into the room.
“What’s going on?” Cal’s mom inquired, confused and worried at the same time.
“We have an arrest warrant, ma’am.” Voight informed the confused parents, handing her the arrest warrant.
“Th-This is insane! He couldn’t have done anything wrong!” Cal’s mom exclaimed, not even reading the paper the sergeant handed her.
“Oh yeah,” Jay started, anger present in his voice and features, “Tell that to the fifteen year old girl he sexually assaulted.” Jay turned his attention to Cal, pushing him forward and leading him out of the house, “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford one, one will be provided for you.”
Hailey made her way to the passenger side as Jay opened the back door and shoved Cal inside. He slammed the door and walked over to the driver side, hopping in and starting the car. He drove to the district, Voight following closely behind once again. Once they got there, Jay walked through the garage and roughly handed Cal over to Kevin, who brought him to the interrogation room. He was about to follow, when Voight stopped him.
“Halstead,” Voight called, and Jay turned around to look at his sergeant.
“Go home, be with your sister. She needs you.” Jay nodded in agreement, turned around and went towards the garage door, receiving a pat on the back from Voight. Hailey opened the garage for him.
“Thanks, Hails. I’ll see you at home.”
“See you at home.” Then, Jay walked out and went to his truck, Hailey closing the garage behind him and making her way to the interrogation room. Jay started the truck and drove home, choosing not to use the sirens so he’d have time to calm down and gather his thoughts.
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It was about 11:30 now, and Lyla was still fast asleep, much to Will’s relief. He was deep in thought, thinking about Lyla’s road to recovery, when Jay walked in, snapping Will out of his thoughts.
“Hey.” Will greeted softly so he wouldn’t wake Lyla up, “Did you get him?”
“Yeah. How’s she doing?” Jay asked as he walked towards Lyla’s bed.
Will sighed, “She’s got a long road ahead of her, that’s for sure.”
Jay laid down next to Lyla on the other side, and Will moved his arm so Jay could replace it with his.
“Well,” Jay started, lowering his voice to a whisper. He planted a kiss on Lyla’s head, “We’ll be here for her, every step of the way.”
Will nodded in agreement, and after a while, they both fell asleep. Lyla had woken up when Jay came in, unbeknownst to her brothers. Shortly after Jay had come into her room, Lyla fell into a comfortable slumber, thankful that she had her brothers to help her heal.
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*Finish*
I hope you enjoyed! If you have any questions, requests, or if you ever need anyone to talk to, feel free to reach out to me.
#jay halstead#hailey upton#will halstead#stella kidd#hank voight#kim burgess#adam ruzek#kevin atwater#will halstead imagine#jay halstead imagine#chicago pd#chicago med#chicago pd fanfic#chicago med fanfiction#chicago pd imagine#chicago med imagine#halstead!sister#fanfic#fanfiction#fandom
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Pirate AU (An Upstead + Upton Sister Imagine)
A/N: I've been working on this one on and off since July. But, between moving out for the first time, full-time grad school, and working almost full-time, I'm finally getting it out now. Don't forget to reblog and comment! Also, the italics are the "present" and the regular font is the story/"past". I just didn't want to write almost the whole thing in italics.
Anyway, enjoy!
"The girls want a story," Duchess Natalie Halstead said to her husband, Duke Will Halstead, one night.
"And you can't tell them one because...?" Will trailed off and looked up from the letter he was writing.
"Because they say you do the voices better than me, and well, I agree on that front. So, if you would like our two lovely daughters to even think about sleeping tonight, I think you should come and tell them a story."
"How old do you think they'll have to be to go to bed without listening to a bedtime story?"
"I for one think it's adorable. Now please, I'd like to get out of this horrid corset in the next hour."
Will smirked, stood up, and pulled his wife close to him. "Only if you'll let me help you out of that corset later."
Natalie blushed. "Will, you scoundrel. Guess you've got some of your brother in you after all."
"More than just a little, love. But, I reckon you already know that."
He began kissing her, but she stopped him. "Will, the girls."
Will stopped and cleared his throat. "Right, yes. Bedtime story."
Natalie scoffed. "You men are so easily distracted, I sometimes wonder how you manage to wage war on each other."
"We have our moments of clarity. Plus, usually you're not around then to distract me."
Natalie rolled her eyes. "You're insufferable sometimes, do you understand that?"
"I do, but—"
"No, buts. C'mon."
Then, the two made their way to their oldest daughter's bedroom where both daughters were seated on the bed, impatiently awaiting a bedtime story.
"Daddy!" they squealed.
"Oh, will you tell us a bedtime story, pretty please?" The oldest asked.
He pulled up two chairs for he and his wife and then they both sat down.
"What will it be tonight?" Will asked.
"The pirate princess, oh please, Daddy!"
"Yes! The pirate princess, please!"
Natalie laughed. This was the one the girls always requested and Will must've told the story every week at this point.
But, Will would do anything to keep his daughters happy, so he began the story.
"Once upon a time, there were two girls and they were running..."
"Hailey!" you whisper-shouted. "Slow down!"
"We've got to hurry while it's still dark, Y/N. C'mon! And don't slip or else we'll be found out."
The two continued moving as fast as they could down the docks holding their skirts up so the dirty water wouldn't soak them.
They continued moving until they saw a ship with no torches lit.
"This one. Hurry."
You looked the ship up and down. The only way you could get aboard was to hold on to a rope that connected the dock to the ship and there was one rope that was connected to a rope ladder.
Your older sister, Hailey, was already on her hands and knees, preparing to grip the rope and maneuver herself across and to the ladder.
"Hailey," you hissed.
The only way to see was by the light of the moon and underneath was the dark abyss of the ocean. There was no telling what lurked below if you didn't make it across to the ladder.
"It's the only way," she told you. "I'll go first so that I can help you across if I need to." Then, she took off her shoes and stockings. "Enough with these. They'll only make it harder. You, too, Y/N. Get rid of them." Then, she dropped hers in the ocean and you tentatively took off your shoes and began working on your stockings while Hailey grabbed tightly onto the rope.
You held your breath as Hailey made her way across and thought your heart was going to stop when she took one hand off the rope and put it onto the rope ladder. Then, she moved her other hand to the ladder as well and then her feet.
"C'mon, it's simple. Just don't let go and look straight ahead," she told you.
"Hailey," you whined.
"Y/N, c'mon now. You can do it. You don't want to go back to dad after this, do you?" Hailey knew it was wrong of her to use one fear to get you to do another thing that scared you, but it was all she had at her disposal at the moment. She sighed. "I'll grab onto your hand as soon as you get close to me. Now hurry."
You crouched down just as Hailey had done and then listened to all her instructions about how to get across.
You moved across at a snail's pace, all while looking down as little as possible and trying not to think about what lay in the dark waters below.
Finally, you got to the point where you could grab onto Hailey.
She moved up on the ladder so that you had room to grab on. She left one foot dangling off, though.
"If you think you can't reach the ladder, just grab my foot."
"O- Okay."
"Now, keep your feet clamped around the rope and move one hand to the ladder."
You did so and felt your whole body shake while doing this.
Hailey directed you on how to continue and eventually, you were both securely holding onto the rope ladder that hung over the side of the ship.
Then, you climbed.
Hailey got to the top first of course.
"I'm gonna get on to the ship and then I'll reach over in case you need help."
Without giving you time to respond, Hailey made her way over the edge of the ship and onto the upper deck.
"This is the easy part," she reassured you.
And she was right, it was the easier part. You got over easily and Hailey held your arm as you made the final leap onto the ship so that your landing wouldn't be so loud as to arouse suspicion.
"Now what?" you whispered.
"Hold onto my hand," Hailey ordered. "We're going to try and find a door and it's dark, so I don't need you getting lost."
You walked around the ship for what felt like hours, and with each passing second, your palm got a little more sweaty thinking about the fact that you could be found out.
Eventually, with the help of what little you and Hailey could see by using the light of the moon, you found a door.
"Keep holding my hand," Hailey told you as she eased it open.
Hailey made her way down the first few steps, and you followed, and then she told you to close the door.
"But, Hailey! We won't be able to see!"
"Shh! Keep your voice down," she whispered sternly.
"I'm sorry, Hailey," you mumbled.
Hailey didn't respond, but you did hear a rustling close to you and then, there was a scratching sound and you could see by the light of a small flame that Hailey was holding.
She had brought matches.
"Now stay quiet," Hailey told you as the two of you began descending the stairs.
There were multiple places Hailey could've turned off of the dark staircase, but she continued down it until you got to the very bottom and, in turn, to the very last possible door.
Hailey tried the door and winced as it squeaked. She paused and held her breath, waiting for movement indicating that someone was on the ship and had heard.
But nothing came.
Hailey quickly opened the door, pulled you inside, and then reached over you to close the door as quietly as the squeaky door allowed.
The match was burning low—almost to Hailey's fingers—so she quickly shook it to extinguish it and held the dead match between her teeth. Then, she let go of your hand and quickly grabbed the packet of matches from between her dress and struck it.
"Follow me," she whispered.
You diligently followed Hailey while looking around you.
Everything around you was covered in thin blankets and netting and the few things that were uncovered were a few barrels.
You followed Hailey to the very back, to something that was covered by a blanket or tarp, you couldn't be sure.
"Hold this up while I look under it," Hailey told you and you lifted whatever kind of fabric it was so that Hailey could look underneath. "Just more barrels," she told you. "Under you go."
"What about you?" You asked.
"I'll be under after you. I want to make sure you're hidden because if there's only room for one, then I'll have to find another place to stow away."
"But, I don't—"
"Y/N, get under there. Now."
Hailey hated being this stern with you, but she'd rather this than the alternatives.
You got underneath the thick fabric and waited to see if you'd hear Hailey's footsteps moving away from you.
Instead, you felt the fabric being lifted once more and then heard Hailey blow out the match and felt her sit down next to you. There was a slight rustling as she made sure the fabric covered all of her and then, it was silent.
"How long do we stay here?" you asked Hailey.
"What did I tell you?" she asked.
"Until we don't understand what people are saying?"
"Until we don't know the language, that's right," Hailey confirmed.
"How long will that be?"
"I do not know, Y/N. I do not know."
***
12 hours later
"What I can't believe is that I'm just now learning that all five of you decided it would be a good idea to leave the ship unattended overnight. You boys are a half step above powder monkeys for god's sake and you can't even do one simple thing right. Next time I'm just gonna have to order two of you to stay on the ship. I tried to be reasonable and let you decide amongst yourselves who'd be staying, but I can't do that now, can I?" Captain Jay Halstead took a deep breath to steady himself before he exploded even more on the boys who were between the ages of sixteen and twenty. "Go check the stores in the orlop, make sure nothing was taken while you five were out gambling, drinking, getting laid, and having yourselves a grand ole' time last night."
The five youngest crew members walked away from their captain without a word to go do as they were told.
***
Hailey could feel her heart beating out of her chest as she rubbed soothing circles on your back. The seas didn't feel very choppy to her, but she had also been drunk before so she was used to the world spinning in circles while she tried to keep her composure. She'd give just about anything right now to be able to get you a cup of water or peppermint tea to help soothe your upset stomach. But, unfortunately, neither of these were options.
"It's okay. It's okay," she soothed. Luckily for both of you, you had nothing in your stomach, so you were only dry heaving. Hailey wished something— anything— would come out if only to stop you from being so miserable.
"I don't think he's being reasonable," Hailey heard someone saying. "It's not like he's never done—"
"Would you just shut up?" another voice asked. "Let's just do what we're told. I'm not losing my spot on this ship because of you."
"Y/N, I need you to be very quiet, okay?" Hailey said.
"But, I—" you tried, but were cut off by your older sister. Then you gagged again.
"Hold your breath if you have to," Hailey urged.
You took a deep breath through your nose and then held it just as the two of you heard a door swing open.
"I'll start with this side, you take that one. Check under everything, especially the food and drink stores."
Then, there were more footsteps.
You tugged on the sleeve of Hailey's dress as your eyes went wide but she just held a finger to her lips. Then, you covered your mouth and breathed as deep as you could through your nose to hold your breath again.
But, you felt the strong urge to gag and empty the contents of your stomach as the footsteps of men echoed throughout the room.
You looked at Hailey as tears came to your eyes and you opened your mouth and gagged.
Hailey squeezed her eyes shut.
"What was that?"
"Wasn't me."
"Check under everything. It sounded like it came from that way."
Footsteps grew closer and closer to where you and Hailey were hiding.
Hailey knew what she had to do. She had come on this ship to save you, and now she was going to possibly get herself in trouble to try and save you once more.
She took one last look at your pale and sweaty face and then ducked out from under the fabric.
Hailey put her hands up as all five of the boys'—they were not yet men— eyes landed on her.
"I mean you no harm."
The boy who had his hand on the sheath of his sword withdrew his hand and put it back at his side.
"What do we do?" one asked. "It's a lady."
"Go get the captain," said the one who looked the oldest.
"You're going to make me look like the crazy one? What will I say? Captain Halstead, please come to the orlop right now. There's a lady down here?"
"Yes!"
"He'll think I'm bluffing. Are you—"
"Go!"
He left and Hailey heard his footsteps bounding up the stairs and a faint call of Captain!
"How'd you get here in the first place?"
"I—"
Hailey was cut off by the sound of retching.
The one who had been talking and giving orders didn't hesitate to take a few long strides and lift up the fabric that was concealing you.
You screamed and then scrambled up and ran to Hailey.
"Two of yous. Anyone else you hiding down here?" he asked.
"No, there's no one else," Hailey answered and pushed you behind her. "Please, don't do anything to hurt us. Please."
Then, there were more thundering footsteps and a booming voice.
"If you are trying to make a fool out of me, I swear—" This man— who Hailey assumed as the captain— paused when he saw that his men hadn't actually been lying. "Oh."
"There's two of them, Captain."
You retched again and the captain moved to be able to see you hiding behind Hailey.
"One of which is a child who looks to be quite seasick," the captain said. "Come to one of the upper decks so we can help her," he offered.
Hailey stayed where she was, and in turn, so did you.
"I don't mean to harm you," the captain said. "I give you my word."
Hailey never trusted anyone easily, especially men. And she wasn't going to start now.
"Give up your sword," she said sternly.
"I beg your pardon," said the captain.
"Lay down your sword as a show of good faith and then we'll come with you."
"And how am I to know you won't pick it back up and use my own weapon against me?" he asked.
Hailey motioned to either side of her. "I'm clearly outnumbered here. It would be a death wish if I did that, don't you think?"
"Bold thing, aren't you?" Hailey kept her expression stern and didn't even so much as blink at his words. "Fine. If I set down my sword, will you both come up to one of the decks with me? I can have someone get clean water and oranges for you both."
"Correct," Hailey confirmed.
Then, with both his eyes still on this mystery girl who had snuck onto his ship, Captain Jay Halstead unsheathed his sword and laid it on the ground.
"Follow me."
You grabbed for Hailey's hand as she started to follow the captain. You'd heard stories of pirates, of them making prisoners walk the plank and how they locked others up in the lower decks and chained them up until they got to a port and could bring the prisoners to a proper prison.
Your lip began to tremble, but you bit it to stop from crying. Crying didn't help you escape your father and it wasn't going to help a pirate have mercy on you either.
You got to the top of the stairs and then the captain opened the door, the bright noon sun so blinding that you had to put a hand up over your eyes.
"One of you get oranges and drinking water for them," the captain ordered the boys who had found you and Hailey. "The rest of you, leave. Do not come to this deck unless absolutely necessary until I say so."
There was a chorus of yes, Captain and one saying that he'd get the food and drink.
The captain quickly moved two boxes. He gestured toward them. "Sit, please." Hailey skeptically looked up at him. "Please, I insist. Again, I mean you no harm."
Hailey looked at you and nodded and the two of you sat on the boxes, you still holding her hand. The captain moved closer to you both and sat down cross-legged on the deck.
All of the fear you had felt these past few minutes made you forget about your seasickness, but now that you were sitting still, you started to feel the familiar feeling of nausea.
"Hailey, I think..." you trailed off and dry heaved once more.
Hailey opened her mouth to comfort you, but the captain cut her off. "Take a few deep breaths and don't fight it," he told you. "If you fight it, you'll make it worse. Be one with the sea." He turned his attention to Hailey. "Once we get you some water and oranges, if it's okay with you, we can get her a mixture of wine and wormwood. Pirate's remedy for seasickness."
"Only a few sips," Hailey answered.
Then, there were footsteps coming toward you and the younger pirate handed you and Hailey each a glass of drinking water and two oranges. The captain then ordered him to go get the wine and wormwood mixture for you.
You were completely focused on not throwing up while you took small sips of your water and started to peel your orange that you weren't really listening to what the captain and your sister were saying. That was until you were through with your first orange and were almost done peeling your second.
What you heard made your heart drop.
"You'll have to tell me why you're here, love," the captain—he had mentioned his name but you were too busy trying not to vomit that you had forgotten it already—said. "I can't in good conscience let two ladies live with scoundrels for no good reason."
You saw Hailey hesitate, trying to figure out how much of your lives to reveal. In the end, she decided on the safest reason, which was also the reason why the two of you had run.
"Our father," she began, "he's not a good man. He's trying to marry her off to pay his debts. She's only twelve years old. We had no other choice but to run. Please, Captain Halstead. Let us stay."
You had never heard Hailey like this. She was usually so stern, so strong, so...independent. And here she was, practically begging a stranger to let the two of you stay on a pirate ship, mainly for your safety.
She'd rather have the two of you live with pirates who ruled the seven seas than have you go back home.
"I see," was all he said.
Then, he took a closer look at you. You looked like a terrified little girl, one who was not close to the eligible age of marriage. He may be a scoundrel, but he wasn't a brute.
Then, he was saved by the wine and wormwood being brought to you. The pirate handed it to him and then he held it out to you.
"Please, take it," he said. "It'll help."
You slowly reached out and grabbed it. The captain didn't let go until he knew it was securely in your grasp.
"Thank you," you softly whispered.
He knew then that he had no choice but to let you and Hailey stay. After all, when he became a pirate, he was also running from something. It wasn't dangerous, but he was trying to leave the life he was born into behind. So, in some way, he understood what you and Hailey were doing. Who was he to refuse someone the right to create their own destiny?
"I'll let you stay," Captain Halstead said. "On two conditions: One, you both sleep in my captain's quarters, and two, you call me Jay."
***
"Really, we can stay somewhere else," Hailey said to Jay once more. "We don't want to kick you out."
Jay waved his hand. "Nonsense. I can't let the two of you sleep downstairs with a bunch of smelly men. You'll be much more comfortable up here anyway. Plus, it'll help with Y/N's seasickness. You feeling better, love?" Jay asked you.
You nodded, still wary of the seemingly nice pirate.
"Good, I'm glad. If you two would like to stay here and get some rest, you are more than welcome to. Or, you can go out to the other deck we were just on. Not much to do out there now though since most of us are working after going to port yesterday."
"Thank you. I think we'll just stay in here to rest."
"Right then. Make yourselves at home. I'll bring up dinner when it's finished along with more water and some more wine and wormwood just in case."
Then, Jay nodded politely to the two girls and left his captain's quarters.
He needed to figure out what to do and he needed to do it fast.
Adam or Kevin? he thought. Adam or Kevin? Adam's the quartermaster because of how good he is at fighting and Kevin's the sailing master because of his smarts and logic...Kevin.
So, Jay made his way back down to the orlop to retrieve his sword from where he had laid it down in a show of good faith and made his way to the helm where Kevin was standing at the wheel, despite the seas being very calm today.
"Kevin, can I steal you a moment? I need to talk something over with you," Jay said.
Kevin said something to one of the men nearby him and then stepped away from the wheel. "Certainly, Captain."
"Right, follow me," Jay said. And then, remembering that the orlop was empty when he had been down there to retrieve his sword minutes ago, he started down there with Kevin in tow.
"No disrespect, Captain," Kevin began, "but why are we here?" Kevin asked as Jay was busy inspecting the areas behind barrels to ensure no other crew members were down here and that he and Kevin were really, truly alone.
"Listen, I've a bit of a problem right now and I need logical advice," Jay started and Kevin nodded, urging his captain to continue. "Last night, when we were in port, the junior crew members made one of the greatest fuck-ups of all time and left the ship unattended—"
"The entire ship? Unattended? For the whole night?" Kevin asked, flabbergasted.
"The entire ship for the whole night," Jay confirmed. "And, during that time, a woman, Hailey, and her younger sister, who's twelve years old, snuck onto the ship. We found them earlier and they're in my quarters right now. I don't know what to do."
Kevin furrowed his eyebrows. He didn't think his captain was this dense. "Drop them at the next port."
"I can't do that. The reason they snuck on here was because their father was trying to marry off the twelve-year-old, name's Y/N."
"Twelve years old?" Jay nodded. "Jesus Christ."
"Now you see my dilemma. I can't let them live with pirates nor can I, in good conscience, drop them at the next port."
"What do you think that you should do?" Kevin asked.
"You need time to figure out an answer, don't you?"
"A few moments would be nice, yes. So, enlighten me about what you plan to do with these two, Jay."
Jay sighed. "I suppose they could stay on the ship for a while, until we figure out a plan or until they feel safe enough to leave the ship."
"That's a good idea and I agree. Where will they sleep? Can't have them down there with all of us."
"God, no," Jay responded quickly. "The two will take my quarters and I'll sleep below deck with the rest of you."
"And when we get to port and leave the ship? What's your plan then?"
"We're at sea for a few more days," Jay answered. "I'll figure that out when we get that far."
***
Hailey laid in bed that night, waiting for you to fall asleep. As she held you close and shushed your whimpers due to the slight churning in your belly because of the motion of the ship on the sea—it had gotten better since the nice captain had given you that drink, but it still wasn't fully gone—, Hailey remembered how she and you had ended up in this predicament.
Hailey stumbled in the house just past five in the morning. Technically, she didn't stumble, but she tiptoed. Despite being an adult, she still had that fear of waking her father from his drunken stupor.
But, what she saw made her eyebrows furrow.
There, sitting at the table by the light of a kerosine lamp, were her mother and father. And, from the look on her mother's face, she'd been crying. Hailey scanned her over for any visible marks, but there weren't any.
"What's going on?" Hailey asked, still quiet so as not to wake you.
"None of your business, Hailey," her father said gruffly.
"Well, if mom's crying, then it damn sure is my business," she said smartly. She'd learned long ago that she could stand up to her father. Yes, sometimes she'd pay for it, but the regret had always been the worse pain of the two.
Her mother sighed. "Your sister's being married off."
Hailey didn't know if she had heard her right. Her twelve-year-old sister? Married off? She'd just started bleeding last month, surely they weren't serious.
"She's twelve!"
"She's a woman now and I have debts to pay!" her father whisper-yelled.
Hailey didn't care about waking you up now. She knew if you heard Dad yelling, you'd stay up in the loft anyway.
"She's twelve! She's still a child! Take me instead! Marry me off to whoever you planned for her!"
Her father scoffed. "You know I can't do that. Not with what you've been doing for the last however many years."
Hailey gritted her teeth. "Then lie!"
He slammed his fist on the table. Hailey looked up to the loft area where she saw you jump slightly. She quickly shook her head slightly and you turned around, scurrying back into your bed.
"Not when you've slept with half the townsmen for money!" he yelled. Hailey winced. Her mother put her head in her hands. "What's done is done."
"When?" Hailey asked. "When is she getting married?"
"A week's time," he answered.
Hailey drew a sharp intake of breath. "I need some air."
Then, she walked out into the night, trying to form a plan to get you out of this life.
She shook those thoughts from her head and listened to your even breathing, which ensured that you were asleep. Then, she finally succumbed to sleep herself because, unlike you, she found the motion of the ship on the sea quite soothing.
***
Jay felt like he'd barely slept last night. He'd forgotten how loud men snore and how uncomfortable the crewmen's beds were compared to the bed in his own quarters. But, he'd rather be the one sleeping down here instead of you and Hailey.
Quietly, he crept up the stairs and to the main deck. He knew it would be time for breakfast in about an hour and knew that most of his men would be waking soon. Because of this, he knew he needed to get out of this nightshirt and grab his sword--locked in a cabinet in his quarters, the key attached to a piece of twine and tied around his wrist for safekeeping--or else lose the respect of his crew.
So, he quietly pushed the door of his quarters open. He quickly opened the wardrobe and, with his back facing you and Hailey, he changed out of his nightshirt and into a more respectable shirt, even for a pirate.
Then, he went about opening the cabinet. After maneuvering the key into the lock and turning, he pulled out the key and then pulled the door open.
He never realized how much it creaked when it was just him in this room.
You woke with a start.
Jay heard a gasp from behind him and turned. In the dim light, he could see that you had sat up and had drawn your knees to your chest.
He fumbled with the matches on the table next to the cabinet and then struck on. Quickly, he lit the kerosine lamp.
He shook the match out and then put his hands out in front of him. "It's alright," he whispered.
You visibly relaxed when you saw that it was just Captain Jay who was in the room. You didn't think that he'd hurt you.
He grabbed his sword. "Would you like me to leave this lit?" he asked you, referring to the lamp. You nodded. "Okay. I'll come get you two when it's time for breakfast."
You nodded once more and he smiled at you. Then, he left the room and you laid back down and, after a few long minutes, fell asleep once more.
***
An hour later, Jay came back and knocked on the door.
"It's Jay," he said and Hailey told him to come in.
The two of you were sitting up in bed and she was braiding your hair. You looked up at Jay. He was carrying a pot with steam that rose from the top and two cloths were sloppily thrown over his shoulder.
"Figured the two of you might want to wash up." He set the pot and cloths down on the small table next to the lamp that he had left on an hour ago. "I'll be back in about twenty minutes to bring the two of you down to breakfast. Or, I can bring it up to you, but I figured you'd want to get out of this room."
"Going somewhere else on the ship sounds nice," Hailey said, and you agreed.
"Alright, I'll be back then to come and get you."
Then, he left the room and made his way across the ship and down one section of stairs to the kitchen. Most of his men were already there.
Good. He needed everyone—except Kevin since he's already talked to him—to be here for this. Granted, he knew the word was already spreading because things travel like wildfire on a ship, but he needed to get ahead of this...especially before the two of you came down here for breakfast.
Jay put his fingers in his mouth and let out a shrill whistle that got everyone's attention.
"Listen up, lads! We've two ladies aboard the ship! I don't want questions from anyone about how they got here because that situation has been dealt with. All you need to do is show them respect and there will be no funny business, you hear? Any of you so much as lay a finger on one of them or whisper a snide remark, I'll push you off the plank with my sword pointed at your back." He paused and looked around the room. "They'll be down here for breakfast soon, too, so I expect everyone to be on their best behavior and act like gentlemen."
Then, he turned around and strode out of the room and back upstairs.
He was about to go retrieve a telescope when a door slammed behind him. He turned to see Adam walking toward him, knife in one hand and apple in another.
"You sure it's a good idea?" Adam asked once he caught up to Jay.
Jay sighed and looked around. Barely anyone was above deck right now other than those who were lookouts or working the sails. He motioned for Adam to walk with him. Then, he moved up the staircase and told one of his men who was steering that he'd take it from here and to go get some food.
Jay's hands found the smooth edges of the ship's wheel while Adam used his knife to cut himself a piece of the apple.
"Well?" he asked once he had had a bite. "You really think it's a good idea to have two women surrounded by pirates?"
"Technically one's a girl," Jay responded, eyes still on the horizon. "More like a child."
"Jesus."
"Not like I had any other choice." So, he told Adam what he had told Kevin last night. He couldn't believe it had only been a day since you and Hailey had been on this ship; it seemed like so much longer with everything he'd had to think about regarding the two of you.
"Son of a bitch," Adam said once Jay was through. "What kind of person essentially sells off a twelve-year-old to marriage?"
Jay shook his head. "The world is a scary place...which is why we've chosen to be only on a land a fraction of the time."
"Pirate and philosopher. Who would've thought?"
Jay chuckled. "Never thought I'd even be a pirate, yet here we are. And, stop swiping food from the kitchen, would you?"
***
Breakfast went fine. Jay had stayed close to you and Hailey the whole time and you'd also met two of Jay's friends, Adam and Kevin.
Now it was nearing noontime and Hailey could tell you were getting restless. She'd asked Jay if there was any chance there was a needle and thread on board so that she could patch up a snag/small tear in the bottom of her dress. (Hailey really wasn't bothered by the tear, but wanted something to keep her hands busy and pass the time.) He'd brought her some and then the two of you sat on the small stairs below where Jay was steering the ship.
You had been staring out at the open water while Hailey had been busy fixing her dress. You sighed loudly. You were glad to be gone from your father and his wicked ways, but there was only so long that you could stare out at the vast sea before you.
Jay called over one of his men to take over the wheel. When you heard his footsteps coming towards the stairs, you looked up. Hailey looked up and then back down at her mending and then continued that. She didn't want to stick herself.
"Do you want to see a real sword fight, Y/N?" he asked.
Your eyes grew wide and you quickly nodded your head. You'd only heard stories of sword fights in fairytales!
Jay held out a hand to each of you and easily helped both of you up at the same time.
"Atwater!" Jay yelled. "How's about a duel?"
"You're on, Captain." Kevin unsheathed his sword from his belt.
Jay pointed to a set of crates and urged you and Hailey to go and have a seat.
Once the two of you were safely out of the way, Jay strode up to Kevin with a cocky swagger that only a captain of a pirate ship could have while he unsheathed his sword.
"May the best man win," Jay said.
Kevin nodded and the two began.
You watched in awe as their swords clashed and they ducked and narrowly missed the point of the sword. You watched their footwork on the ship's deck; it was like they were dancing, but it was a very dangerous dance.
Jay swept a foot in front of him, knocking Kevin's front foot out from under him. Quickly, in order to brace himself, Kevin dropped his sword. Then, he landed with a thud.
Jay leaned over him. Then, he pointed his sword at his friend's throat; it was just mere inches from actually injuring him.
"I believe that I've won," Jay said with a smirk on his face.
There were a few reasons why he had risen in the ranks and become a captain so fast, and his sword fighting skills were one of them.
"You have. Now, get that sword off me and help me off my ass, would you?"
Jay kicked Kevin's sword away from him so that he couldn't grab it on his way up. He then maneuvered his own sword and helped Kevin up his opposite hand, still on high alert in case he tried anything.
Only once Kevin was back on his feet did Jay sheath his sword.
The two shook hands, a show of good faith despite the fight being just for fun.
"I think you've a couple of admirers," Kevin said quietly.
Jay turned his head to look at you and Hailey. You were both clapping enthusiastically.
He strode over to you.
"Did you like it?" he asked, watching Hailey for any signs of discomfort. He knew some women were not fond of violence.
"It was impressive," Hailey complimented.
"That was so exciting! Can I learn how to sword fight, Hailey? Please?" you asked.
Who knew that in less than 36 hours, you'd be totally comfortable on a pirate ship?
"It's not ladylike for you to sword fight, Y/N," Hailey replied.
Jay smirked. "We're on a pirate ship, love. I think you're both well past the point of being ladylike."
It was like Jay could see the wheels turning in Hailey's brain as she mulled this over.
"Fine," she agreed. "Promise me she won't get hurt."
Jay nodded. "I promise. You have my word, Hailey."
"Okay. Go ahead. But, be careful," she told you.
You smiled. Then, you practically ran to the open space on the deck where Kevin and Jay had just been dueling. Jay just walked behind you while chuckling to himself.
But then, as he watched, he thought of how childlike you still were. Yes, you usually followed directions well from what he had gathered, but you still stared in awe at the sea and at other new things. There was no way he could imagine you getting married off.
He felt anger seethe inside him at your father for putting you through all of this.
Then, he took a deep breath. He needed to be calm while teaching.
"First," he began when he was in front of you, "we'll work on the basics. So, we'll work on how you'll stand and ensure you duck. No sword right now."
"Okay! I don't want to get hurt by pulling out the swords too early," you responded.
"Me either. I think your sister might have my head if that happened."
"She probably would," you responded. "She's very protective of me, but I know it's just because of what she's been through and that she doesn't want that for me."
Jay wanted to know what had happened, but he knew not to pry. So, he just put one foot in front of him.
"Stand like this. It's called a split stance," he instructed.
You lifted up your skirts slightly so that he'd be able to see your feet and up to a little higher than your ankles.
If you were in town, you'd be called scandalous. But, as Jay had already said, you were on a pirate ship so you didn't think those unspoken rules applied here.
Then, you stood as instructed. "Like this?"
"Perfect," Jay praised.
Hailey watched on as all of this continued and her heart swelled as she watched a man be so gentle and lighthearted with her younger sister.
You finally had the chance to be a kid—even if it was on a pirate ship—and she didn't want to take that away from you. She'd also be lying if she said that when you began working on ducking (still without the sword) that she clutched the dress she was working on and couldn't tear her eyes off of you and Jay. Every time you were safely on the other side of Jay's arm, she let out a her breath.
You were safe. He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to you. And, even though she vowed to never trust a man even if he had given her his word, for some reason, she was beginning to trust Captain Jay Halstead.
***
One week later
Hailey took Jay's hand after you were safely on land and allowed him to help her off the ship.
"Thank you," she said.
"My pleasure," Jay answered. "Now, I want both of you to stay close to me, alright?"
"I can handle myself," Hailey shot.
"While I don't doubt that, allow me to be a gentleman."
Hailey smiled. "Fine, I will allow that."
"Thank you."
Jay glanced at you. Your eyes were wide at all of the colorful dresses at the vendors. There was also a bird sitting on one vendor's shoulder as well as goats being herded into a fenced-in stall. There was a stand with freshly baked bread and pastries and one with fresh fruit. And, you couldn't even see all the way down the way to see all of them. There was already so much compared to what you had at the market in your small village!
"Where are we?" Hailey asked. She still understood the language that people were speaking, so she hoped she was still in England, but she'd no idea.
"Portsmouth, England," Jay answered. "Now, if there's anything you see that you would like, let me know. I do want to get each of you a nightgown and another dress so that you are not stuck in the dresses you've left in."
"You don't have to—"
"Please," Jay cut her off. "It would be my pleasure." Hailey nodded. Jay looked at you. "Where to first?"
"I- I don't know," you stuttered, still trying to take everything in.
"That's quite alright. You just let me know if you see something you like. I just told Hailey that each of you gets a new dress and nightgown. You can choose whatever color you want."
Your eyes widened. "Can we look at the dresses first?"
"Of course."
Then, the three of you made your way toward the stall with all of the dresses.
***
An hour later, you and Hailey had your dresses. Jay had asked for them to be wrapped in paper so that they wouldn't get dirty while the three of you continued walking. Like the gentleman he had been raised to be, Jay was carrying two of the packages, which meant that you and Hailey only had to carry one a piece.
Jay surveyed the area. He knew a tavern would be up ahead and he didn't know whether to bring the two of you inside or to leave you both outside, perhaps perusing some of the stalls close by.
He figured it would be safer to let you both stay outside. There was a pastry stall right across from the tavern where the two of you could meet him.
"I need to run in here and pick up some rum," he told you and Hailey. He noticed the way you instinctively gripped Hailey's arm at the mention of the drink. "It's mainly for my men. I'm not much of a drinker myself, especially not when we're at sea and need to be vigilant." You relaxed at his words. "But, there's a pastry stall right across. Here's some money. Get yourself each something and I'll meet you back there."
Hailey took the coins. "Thank you. Do you want something as well?"
Jay shook his head. "I'm not one for sweets."
"Alright then. C'mon, Y/N," Hailey said.
Then, you and she and you made your way to the stall that sold pastries. And Jay didn't go into the tavern until he knew that the two of you had made it to the correct stall.
After scanning the selection, you and Hailey each ordered your pastries. She decided on a blueberry muffin and you decided on a slice of lemon loaf with white icing.
Once you had the desserts, the two of you moved to the side and unwrapped them. You sighed when you breathed in the sweet, lemony scent.
"This smells like it will be the best thing I've ever tasted," you said to Hailey.
She laughed. "Well go on then. Give it a taste and tell me how you like it."
You took a bite and felt the icing melt on your tongue.
"Delicious," you sighed.
Hailey smiled and then took a bite of her muffin. "Mine is, too. We made good decisions."
Just then, a man came into their view.
"You look like you're enjoying that. Can I get you another?" he asked.
Hailey bristled. "We're fine, thank you though."
He looked at you. "What about you, love? Want another?"
"I- I'm okay with one," you said.
If Hailey said no, then you were saying no, too. And, even though you were young, you knew what could happen. Men weren't just nice to random women out of the blue on their own accord, usually they wanted something more, which was why you had been wary of Jay at first.
"Oh, c'mon, lassie. Won't cost you much later."
Hailey moved to stand in front of you.
"We said no. Thank you for the offer, but we do not need more pastries," Hailey said sternly.
As Jay walked out of the tavern with a bag full of bottles of rum, he saw Hailey standing stiffly with a man blocking some of her from view. He hoped you were behind her.
He opened the door to the tavern again.
"I'll be back for this," he yelled and then set the bag just barely inside the building.
Then he withdrew his dagger and jogged over to the pastry stand.
"Enjoy the pastry, love?" Jay asked as if nothing was wrong.
"Yes, it was very good," Hailey answered.
"I didn't realize she was—" the man started, but Jay cut him off.
"Enough with your excuses, mate. You should get out of here while you still can. It'd be in your best interest not to piss off a pirate." He began twirling the dagger between his fingers.
"Yes, sorry, have a nice day!"
Then, the man ran off.
Jay quickly put his dagger away. "Are you alright?" he asked Hailey. "Did he hurt you?" Then, he peeked over at you. "Did he hurt you?"
You shook your head.
"I don't know what he would've done if you hadn't come when you did," Hailey said. "Thank you."
"It's what any kind person would've done," Jay said, waving off the thanks. "Now, I've got to grab the rum and we'll keep walking around, yeah? And the rum is just inside the tavern and already paid for, so both of you are coming with me. Don't want that guy lurking and getting any other ideas."
***
"Captain Halstead," the man at the metals shop began when you, Jay, and Hailey entered. "What can I do for you?"
"I've a bit of a situation and all you need to know is that these two ladies need a way to protect themselves. We're here to look at your dagger selection," Jay answered.
"Daggers, Jay? I don't know..." Hailey trailed off.
"Y/N's already learning how to sword fight and I can't be there when we're in port all of the time. Please. It would keep my conscience clear if you both had something to protect yourselves."
"I get a miniature sword?!" you exclaimed.
Jay laughed. "I figure you can think of it that way, yes. We call it a dagger. So if a strange man comes up to you like one did today, you just take it out and flip it between your fingers. Should get him to back off. If not, I'll teach you a few tricks with it."
The man who owned the metals shop laughed as your eyes lit up. "Looks like you've a miniature pirate on your hands, Captain."
"She still has a bit to learn, but I think she's well on her way." Then, Jay shot a playful wink your way.
"Right then, I'll go get the daggers for you three to look at."
He walked into a back room and came out with three boxes stacked on top of each other. They looked like jewelry boxes.
He set them on the counter and flicked each of them open. "Here we are. The finest selection of daggers in Portsmouth. What suits your fancy?"
Shockingly, you stepped up before Hailey did.
You studied the daggers and their handles. Some were simple, with plain metal designs and a few ridges on the handle so that a person's grip would stay steady. But, others had more intricate designs on them, including color on the handle.
One drew your attention. The handle was of normal material, but the ridges were dyed purple and there was a gemstone embedded in the center. The blade of the dagger was curved.
"This one?" You touched the handle and looked to Jay, making sure that you'd chosen a good one.
"Good choice," Jay agreed.
"Not only is it one of the most beautiful ones I have in this shop, but the curved blade makes it one of the most dangerous," the shop owner added.
You looked at Jay, not knowing what to do next.
"Take it," he told you. "Make sure it's comfortable in your hand before you make the final decision."
You picked it up and felt the ridges of the handle pressing against your palm, contrasting with the smoothness of the gemstones.
"Let me have a look, make sure it's small enough for your hand," Jay said.
You held your hand that contained the dagger out to him, blade pointed at the floor so that you didn't accidentally injure anyone.
He furrowed his brow and studied it for a few moments.
"Looks like a perfect fit to me. Does it feel like you can grip it easily?" You nodded. "Alright, final choice."
"Yes, I like this one."
"Perfect. Hailey, your turn, love."
As you held the dagger in your hand, you felt powerful. And you never wanted to lose that feeling and you'd be damned if you lost it because of a man like how your father wanted you to.
***
Jay thought he was done with the bullshit that was drunk men after a day in port. But, alas, you and Hailey had put a wrench in that. He was currently in the belly of the ship trying to sleep, while he heard some of the men groaning from sickness due to how much they had drank—he even heard vomit splatter into a bucket—and some telling others about their escapades with women during their day in port.
So, Jay stood up and started out of there and up the stairs to the deck, anything to get out of there and get some fresh air.
***
Hailey was standing on the deck, staring out at the sea, not that she could see much because it was pitch black. The candle she'd brought from Jay's quarters flickered next to her, sitting in its holder on top of a barrel next to her.
She couldn't get Captain Jay Halstead out of her head.
And she needed to.
She knew love was dangerous.
Hell, she'd vowed to never fall in love, yet here she was.
Earlier in the day, when he held out his hand to help her back into the ship, she felt butterflies in her stomach. They were small like they had just broken out of their cocoon and were learning to fly, but they were there nonetheless.
That was when she knew she was in trouble.
She'd seen what happens when someone falls in love, which is why she vowed to never do so. She'd live her life as an old spinster if it came to that.
But, with Jay, she felt different. And that was what terrified her.
She jumped when she heard footsteps behind her.
"It's just me." She heard Jay's voice. "I couldn't sleep down there. You couldn't sleep either I presume?"
He was right up next to her now, both of them looking out at the vast, dark sea, not that they could see much of anything, though.
"No," Hailey answered.
"Good place to be on a night like this. Slight breeze to keep things moving. Warm night. And just look at those stars."
Hailey looked up just as a shooting star flew across the sky.
"Make a wish," Jay said.
She didn't know what to wish for though. Maybe more nights like this? Ones that tasted like freedom?
So, she let it pass.
Wishes didn't come true for girls like her anyway.
"I don't see stars like this back home in the city," Hailey said. "Too crowded."
Jay nodded. "One of the reasons I love the open water, just me, the stars, and well, no one can tell me what to do out here."
Hailey smiled and let out a laugh. "But you can tell others what to do?"
Jay chuckled at that. "I try to be as fair as I can."
Then, they fell into a comfortable silence as they stared up at the stars.
Jay broke the silence a couple of minutes later.
"I don't mean to pry, but why couldn't you be married off instead of Y/N? I know no one should be married off, but based on age, wouldn't it make more sense for it to be you and not her?"
Hailey swallowed. She knew this question was going to come eventually.
"Again, you can tell me to get lost if you want," reminded Jay.
"No, it's just, I don't want you to think less of me when I tell you."
Jay shook his head. "I'm a pirate, love. There's quite a bit you can say that I won't bat an eye at. Unless it's murder. That I can't excuse."
"But don't you..." Hailey trailed off.
Jay chuckled and shook his head. "As a pirate murder people?" he asked, finishing her question. "No. At least not directly. We just blow holes in their ship and hope that the other pirates know how to swim through a shipwreck. I've never slit anyone's throat if that's what you're asking."
Hailey nodded, mulling over whether or not she wanted to tell him about her past.
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," Jay reiterated.
"But you've done so much for me and Y/N, I probably should," Hailey said.
Jay quickly shook his head. "I never expected anything of you, Hailey. Just because I've helped you, doesn't mean I'm privy to your life story. That's yours to tell whenever you feel comfortable doing so."
Hailey closed her eyes and then opened them. Here goes nothing.
"Well, when me and Y/N ran and came on your ship, we thought we'd be hiding in the belly of it the whole time. Never imagined someone would help us out. It has always been us against the world and every man or woman for themselves."
Jay looked at her intently. He wanted to reach out to hold her hand, but he restrained himself. "I see," was all he said.
"Trust me, I wish it were me who could be married off. But, I can't. Everyone knows what I am: a whore."
"Hailey—" Jay reached out his hand, but she stepped back, so he put it down.
"No! It's true! I was sleeping with anyone who would pay me so that I had a chance to get out. And look where that got me. The only chance I had to save my sister, was gone because of my stupid decisions. But, I couldn't let her go with a man, she's just a child! And I couldn't let her stay home because our dad likes to talk with his fists. It's all my fault."
Hailey's legs buckled, the weight of everything being out in the open making her feel faint.
Jay quickly grabbed onto one of her arms. "I've got you," he said gently. "Let's go sit over here, yeah?"
Hailey nodded and Jay led her over to a stack of crates and didn't let go of her until she was safely sitting down. Then, he went back to grab the candle that was burning low and came back and sat on a crate opposite her.
"Are you alright?" Jay asked.
"Yes, I think I'm fine now. I don't know what happened."
"Just getting it all out in the open may have been too much for you," Jay began. "But I'm glad you told me."
Hailey sighed. "If I wouldn't have done that then maybe we wouldn't be in the predicament!" Her voice broke with her next words. "It's all my fault, Jay."
He reached for her hand and gently clasped it with his. "It's not your fault, love. You were trying to do what was best for the two of you."
"I just don't want her to turn out like me. She shouldn't have to turn tricks to get what she wants and—"
"She won't have to," Jay cut her off. "Not if I can help it."
Hailey looked up at him as a few tears ran down her cheeks. "What?"
"You two can stay here as long as you need. Hell, you can make it your home if you like. I know what it's like to run from something and you two shouldn't have to run anymore and live your lives in fear."
Hailey wanted to ask what he was running from, but she didn't want to pry and be considered improper, so she just said, "Running isn't easy. Leaving family, even though I hated my dad, I loved my mom, and leaving her wasn't easy."
"I understand," Jay agreed. "I left a life of luxury to come live as a pirate."
Hailey furrowed her brows. "What?"
"It's a bit of a long story. Are you sure you want to hear it?"
"If you don't mind telling me."
"Alright then." He paused. "At the time I left, I was sixth in line for the throne. My brother, Will, was fifth and my father was fourth. He was a duke. And, that gave me privileges and a very nice childhood. I won't bore you with the details.
"But then, my mother died of the fever. Some say it was brought on by the cholera outbreak and that a servant may have brought in that disease with them when they came to work, but I didn't care who brought it in or how my mother got sick. All I knew was that she was gone.
"My father was never the same after that. He was constantly drinking ale and wine. So, my brother, Will, and I were schooled harder in political and geographical relationships than ever before because everyone knew that my father was unfit to take the throne if the time came for him to do so.
"I realized that I couldn't live like this. I know it seems quite stupid compared to yours and Y/N's predicament, but I couldn't just sit around in a posh mansion and learn of all of these things that might not even be of use to me. I wanted to make my own fate.
"So, one night, I left. I slipped a note under Will's door explaining that I was leaving and I'd write when I could. I advised him to burn the note once he was finished reading.
"I bought some commoner's clothes from a nearby village at first light and made my way to the docks, looking for work. One of the ship captains offered me a spot on their ship as a crew member. I quickly moved up in the ranks due to my sword-fighting abilities. That was fifteen years ago and now I'm captain of my own ship.
"So, I know what it's like to want freedom and chase after it with all your might."
Hailey was stunned. She had never imagined that this was the story of how Captain Jay Halstead came to be. She knew that the shock was written on her face, so instead of expressing it verbally, she asked, "Do you and your brother still write each other? What of your father?"
"He drank himself to death," Jay answered without emotion. "As for Will, I write him every month or two. He's married now and has two little girls. He's active in politics and has fulfilled his duties as a duke."
Jay was speaking matter-of-factly now. Hailey knew he was trying not to show emotion.
"You miss him," Hailey stated. Jay nodded. "Will you ever go back?"
Jay thought for a moment. He'd be lying if he said that this hadn't crossed his mind on hot, stifling days when the summer sickness was going around the ship. "It's been years since I've left. I think I've a good thing going here and I don't want to ruin it by leaving."
Hailey nodded. She was starting to feel the same way with this ship.
"Have you thought of where you're going to go yet?" Jay probed.
Hailey tilted her head. Realistically, she hadn't really thought about this since the day after Jay found her and you hiding in the belly of the ship.
"I said we'd leave when I can't understand the language. Maybe I'll still do that."
Jay nodded. "Well, if you like, one of Kevin's closest friends, Vanessa Rojas, is a native of Spain. I'm sure she'd be able to help build your life back up in Spain if that is what you want to do."
"And it wouldn't be a bother to stay there?"
"Oh, no," Jay said quickly. "She vowed to never get married, for similar reasons such as your own, so sometimes she's mentioned that she gets lonely at times. I'm sure she'd love to have you. Would you like me to write her and ask?"
"Um, sure." Was Jay trying to get rid of her?
"Again, you can stay on this ship as long as you want, love. I'd be happy to have you and Y/N. And, the longer you're here, the more Y/N can hone her sword-fighting skills."
Hailey threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, don't remind me!"
Jay suddenly became serious. "I mean it, Hailey. You can stay here as long as you need. I—." He suddenly cut himself off.
Hailey gave him a puzzled look. "You what?"
"It's just that, I haven't been this happy at sea for long time. I love it, but having you and Y/N here just makes it so much better for whatever reason."
Hailey blushed and was glad that it was dark and hoped the candle didn't give enough light for Jay to see the effect his words had on her.
Then, he said the words she never thought to hear him speak: "Dance with me."
She cannot help it. A laugh escaped her lips as a smile stretched across her face. "What?"
He stood up and held a hand out to her. "Dance with me."
She took it. "But we've no music."
He began to hum. "Now we do."
Hailey laughed and threw her head back. Then, she took his hand and the two began to dance under the light of the moon. Jay hummed along with the sound of the water gently moving all around them, calming her. Soon, her eyelids began to droop and her movements became slower.
Jay noticed this and helped her back to his quarters. He turned around while she got dressed.
"You don't have to stay you know," she said as she pulled on her nightgown.
He smiled slightly. "By the way you were moving, yes I do. Can't have you falling over from tiredness."
She began to laugh and then quickly placed her hand over her mouth. You were sleeping peacefully, and she did not want to wake you.
Hailey moved closer to the bed and began to pull the thick blankets over her. "You can turn around now."
Jay does and strides over to her. He takes the blankets in his hands and smooths them over her.
She shook her head playfully and smiled. "You don't need to tuck me in as if I am a child, Jay."
Jay shrugged. "Sometimes it's nice to be cared for. Let me do that for you."
She laid her head down on the pillow. Then, Jay leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
"Good night, Hailey."
"Good night, Jay."
And then, he blows out the candle, turns off the kerosine lamp, and leaves the room. Hailey feels the smile on her face until she falls asleep. And, in her dreams, she dreams of Captain Jay Halstead.
***
The next afternoon, you were standing on the deck in your new dress with your dagger gripped tightly in your hand.
"Loosen your grip, love," Jay coaxed. "Just like the sword, you want to have enough grip on it so that it can stay in your hand, but also so that you can move swiftly and quickly."
"But what if it falls out of my hand?" you asked.
"With practice, we'll make sure that doesn't happen."
Hailey watched from afar, thankful that Jay was only using a piece of wood as his pretend dagger. He knew you didn't know how to dodge a blade yet, and he didn't want to hurt you while teaching you how to use your dagger and get out of the way of others.
"Now, I want you to jab right under my arm, like this."
He jabbed the air and then pointed right under his arm.
"Now you try."
So you did. You jabbed your arm forward and hit the air right under his arm. And Jay didn't even flinch!
"Good job! Now try and keep your arm tight, like this." He demonstrated again and kept his muscles tight this time. "This helps with controlling the blade."
Hailey would be lying if she didn't blush when Jay pulled his arm muscles taut when he jabbed again.
After a few more minutes of practicing this, you and Jay moved on to footwork and making sure that you could control the blade even when your feet stumbled.
Hailey was watching from afar and when your foot caught, her heart caught in her throat. She did not need you to be injured while on a pirate ship of all places. But then, Jay quickly reached out to grab ahold of you and helped you back up. Who would've ever thought that one of the most famous pirates of the seven seas was so caring and gentle when need be?
***
Jay and Hailey were once again standing on the deck late at night, gazing up at the stars. You had talked her ear off earlier and described every minute detail of what you and Jay did and what he had taught you earlier in the day.
"Y/N loved her lessons today, thank you," Hailey said.
Jay smiled. "I'm glad. You'll have to let me teach you sometime."
Hailey laughed. "I don't plan on being aboard a ship my whole life, Jay."
"And you think Y/N does?"
"I don't know. I can't leave her here, but I wouldn't be shocked if she begs to stay. She seems...happy here."
"Freedom and the seven seas will do that to a person. My first few days, I was nervous that my family would find me, but then as we got further from the land, I felt freer than I had felt since I was young. Maybe the fresh air had something to do with that, too," Jay joked.
They stood in content silence and Hailey took the chance to lean into him and rest her head on his chest.
"I've been thinking," Jay began and pushed a strand of Hailey's hair behind her ear, "I just finished the letter to Vanessa and will mail it at the next port. It's up to you though. You and Y/N can stay here as long as you want. But, if you're here a long time, I'm going to have to teach you how to fight one of these days."
"Hmm," Hailey hummed. Let's just enjoy the stars right now."
"They're beautiful. Just like you."
***
One week later
"Now, remember what I told you," Jay advised, "Adam's left side is the weak side—"
Jay was cut off by bells ringing.
"They're coming from the east, Captain!"
Jay cursed and quickly stood up.
"Everyone to your posts!" he yelled. "Girls, my quarters, I'll be in there when I can! To your positions!"
You didn't know what was going on, but you knew it was bad as Jay took off running while he unsheathed his sword. Then, Hailey quickly grabbed your arm and the two of you ran towards Jay's quarters.
As you were running, you saw what was coming: another pirate ship.
***
Jay knew he'd prepared him and his crew for this. Hell, he'd been in too many battles to count, but he'd never had to worry about women being on the ship if this were to happen.
"Canons?" Jay asked as Adam came up to him.
"Being loaded as we speak."
"Someone's guarding the food and water?"
"Two."
"Good. What could they have that we want?"
They hadn't been on a raid in weeks, so they were running low on valuables. They'd only been to one port after the one where Jay had bought you and Hailey dresses and daggers, but that was a week and a half ago.
Jay started to hear creaking and yelling.
"Here they come."
***
You and Hailey stood quiet in Jay's quarters. You had your dagger gripped tightly in your right hand, just as Jay had taught you.
The second you heard yelling, Hailey thought that you'd get scared and grab her hand. But you didn't. You kept your eyes trained on the door and bent your legs, preparing if someone were to come in.
It felt like ages before you heard it: the pounding on the door. All that was heard before that was men yelling and the clashing of swords.
Hailey pushed you behind her just as the door broke open.
"Well, well, well," one raggedy old pirate began, "we heard Halstead had a girl, we just didn't think one would be so young."
"Don't touch her!" Hailey yelled. "You want someone? Take me!"
"Fine." He quickly yanked Hailey into him, causing her dagger to clatter to the floor.
"Make her watch," the raggedy one said and pushed her to the man behind her.
She started yelling and kicking, but there was no way the man would let go.
What was it Jay said earlier? Go for the weak side and catch him off guard.
You quickly saw that he had his dagger in his right hand, meaning that his left side was his weaker one.
You lunged.
You don't really remember what happened next, but you do know that you jammed your dagger as far into his thigh as you could.
Then, you heard a pop!
"Get the fuck off my ship unless you want me to try this new toy out on you!"
Jay.
Then, there was silence. And then, the sound of more yelling and quick footsteps and splashes. The other pirates swimming for their lives.
"I'd let her go if I were you."
Jay was holding the small revolver he'd taken from a rival pirate to the other pirate's head. Adam ran up and pointed his sword at the throat of the raggedy one that you stabbed.
"Someone come get this fucker off the ship!" Adam bellowed.
The one who was holding Hailey rushed forward.
Jay held his revolver to the back of the pirate's head as he helped the raggedy one to the side of the ship. He and Adam watched as the two climbed into a dingy and then got lifted into their normal ship.
"Keep the canons loaded," Jay ordered Adam. "Just in case they try anything."
Then, he ran back over to you and Hailey.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" he asked.
Hailey shook her head. "I- We're okay. Y/N got him just in time. And then you came and— I need to sit down."
Jay held Hailey's arm as he helped her back into his quarters and onto the bed. You sat down next to her.
"I did it," you told him proudly, not grasping the gravity of what could have happened. "I went for his weak side and caught him off guard. Then I got him in the leg and he fell down and then you came."
Jay's eyes went wide and Hailey gave him a subtle nod.
"Still think she's not a pirate?" Jay asked with a joking sparkle in his eyes.
"She might be now."
"Well, in any case, I say the two of you spend a couple weeks in Spain with Vanessa. Enjoy land for a while."
"Will you be there?" you asked quickly.
"Not at first," Jay answered.
"But you'll come back, right?"
"I promise, I'll come back."
He gave Hailey a kiss on the forehead and then bent down to your height.
"You did so, so good today. I'm so proud of you."
Then you gasped. "My dagger! It's still in his leg!"
Jay threw his head back and laughed. "We'll get you another one when we dock in Spain. I promise. But tomorrow, I say we start teaching your sister how to fight. What do you say?"
Will looked down at his sleeping daughters.
"And then Y/N and Hailey went to Spain, Jay got Y/N a new dagger, and a year later, Jay and Hailey were married. Y/N's now the first mate on Jay's ship, no matter how much that sometimes scares Hailey."
Natalie gave her husband a look. "That last part's new."
"Well, I learned some new information."
"What?"
"Come with me."
Will took his wife's hand and led her to his office. There, he pulled out a stack of letters that dated back years.
"You're still in contact with him?"
"I have been since he left home. He always sent a letter every six months with his port. I just...never told you until now because I didn't want to scare you about Jay coming back and turning our girls into pirates."
Natalie shook her head. "I'm never scared of that. I don't think they'd leave, but if they did, I trust your brother and Y/N and Hailey to take good care of them. Maybe one day I can even meet him."
"Maybe. Those three don't stay on land for long, though."
"Once a pirate, always a pirate," Natalie said.
When Will and Natalie went to bed that night, they talked about what it would be like to sail on the seven seas. They knew they wouldn't last, but Jay, you, and Hailey wouldn't be able to stand living in a castle all of the time.
Everyone had their things, and if Hailey had known all those years ago that she'd be married and live happily ever after with a duke turned pirate, she wouldn't have been able to believe it.
But, despite the challenges, the Halstead brothers, their wives, and you, all got your own version of happily ever after.
A/N: Thanks for reading and don't forget to reblog and comment! And, if you want to be added to my taglist, just let me know and I can add you!
taglist: @theambracer88 @virtualreader @kelelas-life @celyndavies @brookerz122493 @musicismyescape27 @anotherfan07 @thexplosivegirl @dreamingwithlens @xoxmariaxox @911ls-tarlos @iamasimpingh0e @i-like-sparkly-things @herecomesthewriterwitch @liampayne88 @glitterquadricorn @luvreading67 @smoothdogsgirl @afriendlyneighborhoodhufflepuff @actlikesummerr @lcothr523 @star-wars-lover
#jay halstead#hailey upton#upstead#will halstead#natalie manning#manstead#chicago pd#chicago med#kevin atwater#adam ruzek#upton sister#jay halstead fanfiction#jay halstead imagine#jay halstead fanfc#chicago pd fanfic#chicago pd imagine#chicago pd fanfiction#imagine#fanfic#writer#writing#fanfiction#my writing
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Delivery (Departure pt2)
pairing: Jay halstead x reader
summary: y/n is in labour and jay takes her to the hospital
warnings: none. just fluff (maybe a little bit aìof angst at some point)
~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•
previous part
When you hoped of Jay’s comeback during his eight months in the Army, you were not expecting that; you wanted to spend some time with your husband, talking about the baby with him, telling him everything that happened during those months while he was away. You wanted to have time for all of that, but you had not.
Jay was driving you to the hospital, hands tightened around the steering wheel, eyes fixed on the road, arms tense. He was so much nervous, and you could feel it from distance, everyone that knew Jay could have felt it too; you wanted to reassure him in some way, but you were to focused in not losing your mind, taking deep breaths, and trying to stay as much calm as possible.
“How are you?” He asked, turning his head towards you when he stopped at one of the red lights; you watched him closely and you tried to smiled at him sincerely; it wasn’t easy though, you started to feel pain because of the labour and all you wanted to do was seeing your doctor.
“I’m goo, Jay… it’s just…” You couldn’t avoid to moan in pain, feeling another contraction; you were just hoping to arrive at the hospital in time since there was so much traffic. “It hurts when the contraction kicks in, but I have endured worse pain after being shot at work, you know.”
Jay nodded and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, watching at the lights to be sure that they were still red; he just wanted to push the accelerator, arriving at the hospital as early as possible. “I wish I have the police lights right now; I could use them to bring you to the hospital in just few minutes.”
You smiled a little and, after taking a deep breath, you took his hand in yours, smiling a little bit and looking at his eyes.
“Jay, don’t worry, okay? Me and the baby are still good, our child just wants to meet his father as soon as he can.” You smiled softly, caressing his hand, and letting it go just when the green lights appeared, letting him drive again towards the hospital.
“Is it a boy or a girl?” He at once asked you, smiling softly and relaxing a bit.
“I don’t know. I didn’t want to discover it without you, so I wait you and here you are. I guess we will find out the baby gender after I gave birth and, well… we still need to find a name for him or for her. What do you think?”
He smiled softly, driving towards the hospital, and thinking about everything that was happening to him; he came home eager to see you again, to hug you and kiss you, to kiss the love of his life. He wanted to tell you that he came back and that he would have stayed with you forever, that he wouldn’t leave you anymore, but he wasn’t expecting that. He didn’t know that he would have become father and, driving you to the hospital, he started to get nervous.
He kept asking himself if he was ready for that, if he would have been a good father.
You notice that something was wrong because you recognise at one the frowning expression he usually had when something was not right. Was he still angry with you? Was he nervous about something?
“What’s going on, Jay?” you asked him, breathing heavily because of the pain of the labour. “Why are you so strange? Are you still mad at me?”
He turned his face towards you after parking in front of the hospital, then he shook his head and he took your hand between his own, smiling softly at you and sighing. “I’m not mad at you. I was angry because I wanted to know it, but right now I’m just worried about you both and I’m nervous. I just wonder if I will be a good father for him, because I really want to.”
You smiled, shaking your head, and leaning forward; you placed a soft kiss on his lips for the first time after all those months and you smiled wider. God, you missed him so much. You would have kiss him for hours and hours if it wasn’t for the baby that was kicking its way out.
“I love you, Jay, and I know for sure that you will be the best father in the world, I already knew that the time I discovered I was pregnant.” You smiled, trying to reassure him somehow. You really wanted him to live the labour in the best way possible, especially since he didn’t have the chance to live the pregnancy as you did. “I never doubted it and I will never do.”
He ran one of his hands through his hair, taking deep breaths and trying to calm down. He needed to be strong for you, he needed to be calm for you; after all you were the one in labour, not him.
“Thank you, babe.” He whispered, nodding slightly, and looking at you with a smile on his lips. He was much calmer after your words, and he was now ready to become a dad. “Let’s go now, I’ll call Will to let him know that you’re pregnant and that you’re in labour.”
You reassured him, exiting the car and thanking him for his help when he got you in his arms, trying to help you walking toward the enter of the hospital. “Will knows that I’m pregnant. I asked him not to tell you because you were in Boliva and because was afraid that you would have done something stupid, that you would have become less focused on your job. He tried to convince me to tell you the truth so many times but, in the end, I always won.”
Jay was angry at the beginning, to discover that also his brother knew about the pregnancy, as well as his friends and everyone in the unit. He was the only one that left in the dark for so many months and he was also the first that should have known about it in the first place. He really wanted to scream, to yell, to let go all of his frustrations, but he didn’t want to do it now; he didn't want to scare you or to make you worried since you were in labour: he needed to stay calm and to be there for you both. It was difficult, he really was, but he did what was the best for his wife and for his future child.
“Okay, don’t worry.” He simply said, sighing. You both finally entered the hospital, and, after that, you were brought up into the obstetrics department of the hospital, were you will have been monitored till the right moment.
You started to become more nervous after every second; you just wanted to take the baby in your arms, to cuddle him and to show him to his father, the man of your life. You hoped and dreamed of that moment for months and, when it came, it wasn’t as you expected. The first visit you made with your doctor showed that there was something wrong. You and Jay immediately understood that when you saw their faces and you started panicking at once.
“What’s happening? Something’s wrong right?”
Jay tried to reassure you, stroking your hair, placing small kisses on your forehead, on your cheeks, trying to make you feeling better, trying to calm you down. The doctor and the nurses started to talk quietly and only after some minutes they talked to you.
“The umbilical cord is wrapped around the baby’s neck.” He said, the exact moment Will entered the room after being told of what was happening. Jay’s heart skipped a beat as soon as he heard the doctor, he looked up and he found Will’s gaze. Before the doctor could have said everything else, you started crying while Jay walked toward his brother.
“Will, tell me that everything is going to be fine.” He immediately asked his brother, not paying attention to the doctor that gave you the news; he tried to answer instead of Will, but Jay stopped him before he could. “I’m asking my brother’s opinion, not yours.” He pointed out.
Will shook his head and placed his hand on Jay’s shoulder, trying to reassure him. “Jay.. I’m not y/n’s doctor and you should listen to him. He knows what the best for the baby is and for her too, okay?”
Jay calmed down a little bit and he sighed deeply; he looked up at the doctor and he nodded at him to let him know that he had his full attention.
“I’ll have to move that from the baby’s neck during the childbirth. It may be painful, but we have to do it for the baby’s sake. It won’t be difficult, okay? It’s nothing to be worried about, I made it so may times and everything went as expected. I need you to stay calm, you both.”
Jay went back to your side, and he took your hand in his, trying to be there for you; he saw how nervous and worried you were and he needed to be strong for you, he needed to be calm for you and the baby. “You heard the doctor, love. The baby is gonna be alright, okay? We need to be positive right now. Maybe we can think about some names, what do you think?”
You nodded, trying to take deep breaths, and trying to be as calm as you could. Having Jay by your side made it so much easier and you were grateful for having him there with you. You both started to say names for the baby and, one hour later, when the contractions were very close to each other and painful, they brought you to the birth room. Jay followed back, keeping telling you that everything would have been alright, that the baby would have been healthy and that you just needed to be calm for him. He was always by your side. He didn’t leave you, he kept reassuring you with soft and sweet words, he kept stroking your head and kissing your forehead. He was with you every second, he never left. Even when the doctor used his hand to move away the umbilical cord from the baby’s neck, that was very painful, Jay was there.
“Hold on, love. Hold on for me, y/n, everything is gonna be alright after that, okay?” he kept telling you, caressing your hand while you screamed in pain. When, finally, the doctor gave you the permission to push again, you did it, hoping that everything would have ended as soon as it was possible. He was just too much to handle, and you just wanted to cry and to rest a little bit.
“Just one more push and you will meet your children!” the doctor encouraged you, and you did it. You squeezed Jay’s hand as strong as you could, screaming in pain and pushing again for the last time. you could even describe how it felt when you heard the baby crying. Your heart stopped beating and tears ran down your cheeks but, this time, those were not tears of pain. Jay, on his side, just couldn’t believe it, nor even when he heard the baby crying. He just couldn’t believe that he was a dad.
A nurse immediately placed the baby on your chest, wrapped around a pink towel. She smiled at you and Jay. “Congratulations. Mom and Dad, it’s a baby girl.”
You looked down at your baby and you cried again and again, looking at her baby face and at her hands. She was so small and beautiful at the same time. you just couldn't believe that such a beaty came out of you, you just couldn't believe that you were finally see the baby that you felt growing inside of you. You never felt so good, you never felt so alive.
“Do you want to take her?” You asked Jay, softly.
All the pain you felt just vanished when you took her between your arms, and, when you passed her to your husband, you were even more happy.
The way Jay’s eyes lit up when he took her in his arms was something you would have never forgotten.
“Hi, sweetheart.” He said softly, crying when the baby squeezed one of his fingers in her small hand. “God, she’s beautiful.”
He just couldn’t look away; she was too beautiful. He could have stayed there, cuddling, all the time, even for years. He just looked away from her when the nurse asked them about her name, that needed to be written down on her bracelet.
“Halstead, Kate Halstead.” Both of you said, smiling at each other.
#oneshot#chicago pd#fluff#jay halstead#angst#chicago fire#chicago med#adam ruzek#fanfic#hailey upton#will halstead#kevin atwater#hank voight#x reader#kim burgess
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