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crystalflygeo · 11 months

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Smut Alphabet ft Baizhu + fem!reader

cw/tags: mentions of various sexual acts, oral sex, praise kink, pet names, sensation play?? marking/biting, TEASING, itty bitty possessive/jealous behavior, I gave Baizhu a bunch of snake traits I'm sorry it's the monsterfucker in me //sighs.

notes: SOMETHING NON-ZHONGLI??? WOWOWOW Yes I simp Baizhu sue me, more will come hopefully. Lord this has been on the works since the other one it took SO LONG I just didn't know what to write vbhsdbjk. Again feel like I'm repeating myself 20 times hhhhhh also this man is v vanilla or at least it started like that but then it got progressively hornier and.... yeaaaahhhhh. Partially dedicated to @floraldresvi bc even tho she doesn't share some of these ideas she gave me quite a few and she is the cutest Baizhu simp so <3 ehe

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Baizhu is quite clingy and loving in the aftermath, sometimes rubbing and massaging special scented oils along your skin while peppering kisses, to relax the muscles and prevent cramps.

Sometimes though, your activities also take quite the toll on him... in such occasions he’s left exhausted, he'll simply pull you into an embrace and stay curled up and close to you as you both come down from the high and relax together.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His hands. How could he practice medicine without them after all? The fact that he can pull such wonderful sounds and reactions out of you with them is just sublime. Even if they're a little bony with slender fingers, there is so much he can do with them.

As for his favorite part of your body: all your soft curves. Thighs, tummy, breasts, hips. Who cares if you got some scars, stretch marks or some "rolls"? it's only natural, you're healthy and your body is beautiful no matter what. He loves running his hands along your hips, rubbing a thumb at your thigh when sitting together, or resting his head in your lap/tummy as you play with his hair.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

He’s very careful and considerate to always use protection, after all it is not only safer but more convenient at that. Either that or just release on his own stomach, then quickly get rid of it. He’s actually not that into it, the whole marking and dripping his seed on you. In fact, he feels it’s kind of degrading or disrespectful to you, convinced you’re too good to be dirtied like that. If you're giving him head and he does come on your face, expect a flurry of embarrassed apologies as he scrambles to clean you off.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He likes seeing you wear his clothes, seeing you doze off at his bed or just hang round his place. There’s a little feeling of belonging there, a little possessiveness. That you’re really his just as he is yours, that you two are together. It’s rather domestic but it warms his heart. When you rub your eyes first thing in the morning, still naked and sporting yesterday’s marks on your skin, when you step in the kitchen for some morning tea wearing only one of his larger robes… it makes him want to pull you close and never let you go.

He also quite likes to… bite…

But you’ll never hear that from him.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Truth be told... Baizhu has no real experience with this. He's tended to himself and had the occasional wet dreams and fantasies sure, but hands-on action... ehhh. If you're experienced, he'd love to let you take the reins for sure, and if you're both on the same boat, well... he'll gladly walk that path along with you.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Baizhu likes propping you over any slightly elevated surface: countertop, desk, table... you name it. That way neither of you exerts themselves or is weighting on the other, and he quite enjoys having you on eye level like this, your silky legs surrounding him, your thighs at just the right height for him to rest his palms on them as you take off his glasses and he leans in for a kiss...

But oh, sometimes he also quite likes having you on top, seated on his lap rocking slowly with his hands on your hips, you own supported around his neck bringing you two impossibly closer, hot breaths and sweet moans mixing together.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s a tease, and often likes to poke fun or fluster you, but it’s all in good faith, last thing he’d want is to actually make you uncomfortable. He’s quite lighthearted, little smiles and breathless chuckles weaved in together with other sounds of pleasure. He means for you both to relax and enjoy the moment.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? Etc.)

If his gorgeous long hair or immaculate looks aren’t a clue already, yes, Baizhu takes very good care of his appearance. More often than not he wants to give off a sense of professionalism and good health, after all, as a doctor he’s got to set the example. His hands are rather soft and skin clean and shaven. Likewise, he simply keeps himself well trimmed down there. And yes, the drapes do match the curtains… (why would anyone ask or doubt that?)

I= Intimacy (How are they during the moment? Are they romantic?)

For him, this step of the relationship is certainly not to be taken lightly. When both of you finally decide to be intimate, he’ll make sure to treat you with the utmost care and love, focus on your movements, your voice, your reactions, kissing you tenderly. He is a passionate man, but that passion comes in slow waves, molten gazes, careful simmering touches. After all there’s no need to rush…

J = Jack off (Masturbation headcanon)

Baizhu doesn’t usually… indulge in things like this, already too worried with his mind thinking a million different things, body exhausted, always working, Changsheng always draped over him. The need to get off doesn’t linger and fester in him for too long. It’ll come, he’ll get slightly uncomfortable, then it'll leave. But in the lone relaxing moments he has, soaking in the bathtub, lying awake late at night in bed he can finally relieve some tension, thinking on your warm skin and wet kisses, letting out frail husky gasps and moans. And why should he be embarrassed? After all, it is a normal, natural and healthy thing.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

It’s hard to get him to admit it really, but he undoubtedly has a marking/biting kink. You see, the thing is, not only does he possess viperine eyes but also other certain traits as well: fangs, a forked tongue, an acute sense of smell, poor eyesight, bad regulation of body temperature, you name it! And if there’s something he likes it’s to sink those fangs on your skin like a mating mark. Don’t worry, he won’t actually hurt you of course, it’s just that marking you and leaving his claim feels immensely satisfying. He loves to admire them for days to come.

L= Location (Favorite places to do the do?)

Anywhere you two have a private quiet moment to yourselves, though nothing beats the intimacy of the bedroom. Particularly enjoys taking you apart at the pharmacy’s backroom, and if the situation arises when Changsheng and Qiqi are both busy he’ll pull you into his embrace for quite the ride. Slowly unraveling you on the bed by the candlelight, bending you over or perching you at the table, and even once he simply pressed and caged you against the wall and the rest was history…

M = Motivation (What turns them on? What gets them going?)

Your cute noises and reactions. To have you shivering under his touch, flushed red and whimpering, sporting his marks, telling him how good he’s making you feel, how much you love him. Please be vocal and praise him a little! There’s nothing he won’t do with a little begging from you. And he WILL make you beg, kissing your little clit ever so softly causing your hips to twitch, running his hands lightly over your breasts seeing the goosebumps rise and nipples pebble.

N = No (Anything they wouldn’t do?)

Baizhu doesn’t do well with degradation or harsh treatment, sure a quick desperate fuck here and there is doable, some spanking, but nothing really rough. Hard limits on anything inherently dangerous like knife play or choking, he simply wouldn’t want anyone to get hurt. He’s also really mindful and strict on things like proper preparation, hygiene, protection and aftercare. For as much as he likes to test limits and boundaries, he has the utmost respect and love for your body.

O= Oral (Do they like to give or receive? Are they skilled?)

Baizhu is all about the giving. He enjoys seeing you come apart on his skilled fingers and tongue, the sounds you make, the feeling of your soft thighs clamping on his hold. He takes his time, listening to the softest keens and moans that slip from your lips, taking in the pace of your heartbeat on his tongue to know exactly when to plunge the serpentine appendage inside you like he’s starved.

On the other hand, slick with precum before you even put your mouth to him, he is really sensitive and his pretty flushed cock will twitch wildly in your hand as you stroke him, tracing that small vein, lapping at the engorged head. As much as his head is spinning and low groans fall from his mouth, he’ll try very hard to maintain eye contact and keep track of your ministrations, the way your soft hands move and your lips stretch to accommodate him down to the hilt, cupping your cheek lovingly to wipe away a couple of tears, your eyelashes fluttering to meet his golden eyes.

P= Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual?)

Definitely a slow and sensual lover, Baizhu prefers taking you apart bit by bit with loving and deliberate strokes. His life is already quite restless and chaotic, so he wants to make this as sweet and delicate as he can. He takes his time with his hands tracing every mark on your skin, pinching a little at your tummy and thighs, and rubbing gentle circles on your hips.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies? How often?)

A rare occurrence to say the least, but with his hectic schedule it’s bound to happen once in a while. They’re nice enough, every moment spent with you in his arms is precious, it’s just that he doesn’t like how short they are. A quick fuck in the backroom of the pharmacy between breaks not only has its risks but he actually often ends up feeling more riled up. Returning to his work slightly more distracted and aroused much to Changsheng’s frustration. He’d rather have long drawn-out sessions with you, slowly building up the heat.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks?)

For all his vanilla sweet love, if there’s anything he likes in life is trying new things, and that philosophy extends to the bedroom. Without a doubt he would agree to indulge in things that interest either of you, anything to bring you more pleasure after all. Communication is key and who knows, you might discover some new fun ways to enjoy time together. That said there's not much of a risk factor with him, Baizhu always plays pretty safe even when you're doing things in a bit of an impromptu manner.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

His constitution is frail, that is no secret. Now, he’s genuinely a little self-conscious about it, afraid he’s not properly satisfying you or even upset and insulted if you coddle and fuss over him too much. Sometimes he’s tired, it’s late at night after a long day of seeing patients, he gives you lazy thrusts and quiet touches showing it’ll be a simple night, a settle down for the day. Usually, his body gives out after he comes once or twice, though if you still have one more round in you, well, he’ll gladly give you the reins for the rest of the night.

T = Toys (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

He definitely enjoys playing with your senses. A blindfold, a bit of bondage, the touch of a feather dragging along your skin, even some ice or hot wax from a scented candle, don’t worry, he’ll be very careful. It’s not so much that he’s kinky per se, he just loves to see you react. Arch your back and cry out. And there are definitely interesting concoctions out there, electro slime can be used to increase sensitivity, and a combination of flaming flower stamen extract with some oil can... well... he’ll let you discover that by yourself.

U= Unfair (How much do they like to tease?)

He is a tease through and through, both inside and outside of the bedroom. A silver-tongued devil he knows very well what words to use and when to obtain the reactions and effects he wants. Fond of inside jokes, bringing up things that will make you squeak while other are none the wiser. Whenever he gets a little jealous, you’ll notice he also gets touchier, placing a hand at your shoulder or hip or straight up giving you a peck or blurting some pet name.

You’ve lost count of how many times a night you’ll tell him to stop teasing. He just chuckles and apologizes but after a few minutes he’s back on the game.

V= Volume (Are they loud, what sounds, and do they talk?)

He will praise you and tease you non-stop, spouting compliments and whispering promises into your skin as he worships your body. If you manage to catch him off guard and turn the tables on him, he actually lets out the most wonderful noises. So endearing in their restraint with quiet hisses and whimpers, and so surprising in their rawness with deep groans and occasional growl.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Although he can identify some scents and physiological reactions better than most, Changsheng is the real menace. A few flicks of her tongue and she’ll know for sure if either of you are… ehem… wanting. She’ll tease, she may even be a little passive aggressive but she’s respectful and considerate enough to slither off somewhere and give you both (or just him) some “alone time”. She might not always keep her mouth shut to Gui however.

X= X-ray (What’s going on down there?)

Baizhu’s size is nothing to sneeze at no matter how much he scoffs (blushing a little) and calmly mentions he’s statistically rather average. The thing is this man is a grower. Once hard his cock is rather long but not all slender, with a curve upwards and a few visible veins that are even more sensitive than he already is. You love to see him twitch after every kitten lick, rub or puff of hot air, and the tip takes on that pretty, purplish hue when he's really really needy. Although he makes it out to be not a big deal, he can't help the smugness that fills his head when he lowers you down on him that first time and sees the way you gasp and flinch as you try to adjust.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Average, if a little low technically? It’s not so much he craves the sex in itself but rather that intimacy, that connection. For him making love is just as much about the… well, love. He doesn’t just chase pleasure but he loves to see you come apart and have you drag him along. Never once has he thought he'd have such deep, pure love as the kind he has with you, so having you by his side, in his arms, under him, or sleeping peacefully curled up to his chest, completely at ease and comfortable in his presence, is a gift that he never takes for granted.

Z= Zzz (How quickly do they fall asleep?)

He’s a little insomniac, pulling few frequent all-nighters to work or rolling over restlessly under the sheets. Sex, however, is one of the few things able to wear him out well enough to fall asleep easily, especially if you’ve gone for a few rounds. Occasionally, he still won’t be able to fall asleep afterwards, but in most cases the warmth of your body will be enough to lull him into an at least somewhat restful state for a few hours.

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elizaditton · 2 months

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Too Small To Be Afraid (Chapter 14)

Cover / Master Post / Previous Chapter / Next Chapter

- - - - - - - - - -

I stare at my deskmate's hand, dumbfounded. What is he expecting me to do, exactly?

"Well, come on!" Derrick says with a smile. "What are you waiting for?"

"Well, I, um..." I cock my head to the side, as if that would help me have a better understanding of the sight in front of me. "I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do."

"What do you mean?" My deskmate chuckles. "Haven't you ever walked onto someone's hand before?"

I slowly lift my head to peek up at my deskmate, and rub my arm as I shift my gaze back to the balcony floor. He really expects me to have done this?

Derrick frowns. "You haven't, have you?"

I shake my head. "No, I haven't. In fact... you're the only perthean who's ever held me before."

Derrick slowly retracts his hand from the balcony, his brows shifting upward. He blinks.

"What?" I ask.

"I... I don't know, it's just..." my deskmate says, looking down as he twiddles his thumbs. "I'm honored that you'd let me be the first perthean to hold you."

"It's not like I really had a choice, being forced to come to this school and all," I sigh. "You just happened to be the first that I couldn't avoid."

"You were forced to come to this school?" Derrick asks, his eyes widening.

"Yeah," I say with a shrug as Dad's lies about the move come to mind. "It's a long story."

"Well, whether you were forced to interact with me or not," Derrick says, tucking his arms by his sides and clenching his fists excitedly, "I'll do my best to live up to the honor of being the first perthean to hold you!"

I let out a nervous laugh. I didn't realize he'd be so excited to find this out.

"But anyway, once again returning to the matter at hand—my hand, that is," Derrick says.

My heart rate picks up again as Derrick moves his hand back towards the balcony. I don't stumble backwards this time, but I'm surprised that my insides are still churning at the sight of his nearing hand—especially since I was expecting it to approach.

The enormous leathery surface settles down before me, with each of its attached digits curling inward ever so slightly. I approach my deskmate's hand cautiously, as if it were a venus flytrap ready to snatch me up at a moment's notice.

"Now, you said you weren't sure what you were supposed to do?" Derrick asks.

I raise my foot and dangle it over my deskmate's hand, only to nearly lose my balance and stumble back onto the balcony. Do I really not know how to do this?

"I haven't the slightest clue. And besides, isn't this..." I sigh, biting down on my lip and rubbing the back of my neck. "You know, a little too casual?"

"Too casual?" Derrick blinks a few times and raises an eyebrow. "Kaylin, we are friends, right?"

"Of course!" I blurt out, quickly waving my hands. "I didn't mean to say we weren't! It's just that we've only used a formal form of handling etiquette up until this point, and... well..."

"Yes? What is it?"

"I... well... I don't really know how you expect me to get onto your hand. I guess that makes me pretty stupid, huh?" I say, hanging my head.

"You're not stupid. You just need a little guidance, that's all," Derrick says with a smile. "Now, there's something I want you to know. Because we're friends, I don't care how it is you manage to get onto my hand. You can run, crawl, jump, or fall into my hand and I wouldn't mind it in the slightest."

I look up at my deskmate, astounded. I thought any perthean would be particular about how a human gets onto their hand. He really doesn't care how I approach this?

"Generally speaking, though," Derrick says, "when a perthean offers you their hand this way, you're expected to respond like this."

Derrick lifts his other hand and moves it towards me, causing my muscles to immediately tense up. What's he doing now?! Is he going to grab me?!

I quickly back away from his hands until I'm flat against the wall. My heart, beating faster and faster, sinks deep in my chest. As my knees buckle beneath me, I find myself slumping against the wall, it being the only thing left holding me up. Derrick's eyes widen, and he immediately retracts both of his hands.

"Hey," he whispers. "Kaylin, are you—"

I slide down the wall until I'm sitting on the balcony floor. I hide my head behind my knees and wrap my arms around my legs. I shut my eyes tightly as they begin to tingle and glaze over, but hot tears manage to leak from them anyway.

"I can't do this, Derrick!" I sniffle. "I can't keep myself from fearing for my life whenever you reach for me! All I think about is...! Is...!"

With my head buried into my knees, my vision is completely black. My mind's eye, however, is painting pictures of the man from my nightmares. A tall, slim figure with a bit of a tan. Slightly muscular. Clean shaven with a small scar on his left cheek. He has dark brown hair and narrowed brown eyes. He wears a white t-shirt with a few dirt stains, and wrapping around his dark blue jeans at the hips is a black belt with a silver chain. Beneath him is a pair of dirty, beaten up white sneakers.

He seemed so unassuming when I first peered at him from the corner of that alleyway. I was so naive! I had no idea what he—no, what pertheans were capable of until—

"Kaylin," Derrick whispers. "I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. I know you're not ready to tell me what started your fear, and I want you to know that's okay with me."

I sniffle again, and with shaking hands, I wipe the tears from my eyes before reluctantly looking up at my deskmate. His blue eyes are soft with compassion, and his brows are upturned in sympathy.

"Since you were forced to come to this school, you didn't get to choose whether or not you wanted to trust me. So now, I want to ask you..." his voice trails off, and he shifts his gaze to the ground. He takes a deep breath in and out before looking back at me. "Will you make the choice now?"

My lip trembles as I sit up in my spot against the wall. "Make... the choice?" I manage, my voice cracking.

Derrick keeps his eyes fixated on me and slowly lifts his left hand towards me. His index finger is bent to the side, as if to initiate balcony etiquette. His hand passes the balcony railing, but doesn't come any closer to me. I stare at it, confused. What's he getting at?

"Kaylin, will you make the choice to trust me?"

My heart rocks against my chest and my legs begin to go numb. "How can I do that when I'm filled with so much fear?" I ask.

"Trust is an action. It's not something you feel, but rather something you choose to do in spite of your feelings." Derrick smiles softly, tilting his head to the side. "Will you trust me?"

I blink, slowly rising to my feet with trembling legs. The breeze picks up, blowing through my hair and giving me goose bumps from the chill. I hug myself tightly, partly because of the cold and partly because of the burning anxiety deep in my core. My pulse quickens, warning me to stay away from this perthean lest I get hurt—yet I find myself, for whatever reason, approaching the hand in front of me.

Derrick remains silent. I look back up at him, his smile still stretched from ear to ear. All at once, his eyes narrow, turning brown, and a scar appears over his left cheek. I slam my eyes shut, quickly sucking in a breath and blowing it out, before opening one eye to peek up at my deskmate. His blue eyes have returned to normal, and there's no scar on his cheek. I look back at his hand, cautiously tiptoeing towards it as my insides convulse and the world around me begins to spin.

Once I'm close enough, I reach a hand out towards my deskmate's index finger, only to pull it back towards myself out of uncertainty. Can I really do this? Can I really trust a perthean?

I place one hand on my deskmate's finger, and then another. I stand in place, breathless and at a loss for words. It takes all the strength I have left to look Derrick in the eyes.

"I will," I manage to say at last.

My deskmate sighs joyfully, and his eyes soften as if smiling themselves.

"Okay," he whispers.

Seeing the glee on Derrick's face gives me the courage to smile back at him. Now that I've made the choice to trust him, I can't help but wonder what comes next.

"Do you want to try walking onto my hand again?" he asks.

I recall the moment Derrick's hand approached me without warning, shivers running down my spine.

"Don't worry," he says. "I'll alert you before I reach for you from now on."

I nod, and Derrick lays his hand down palm side up on the balcony. I bite the inside of my cheek as my legs squirm beneath me, begging me to run away. I made the choice to trust Derrick, I'm not running away!

"Now, I was going to show you how humans are generally expected to react in response to an open palm. May I see your hand?" Derrick asks.

My heart skips a beat. What does he want my hand for? Still shaking where I stand, I gulp, and reluctantly offer up my right hand. I become lightheaded when Derrick takes my hand in between his fingertips. Closing my eyes, I attempt to steady my breathing. I've made my decision. I'm going to trust my deskmate.

Derrick leads me toward his open palm with a gentle tug, and places my hand on his thumb.

"There," he says, letting go of me. "Use my thumb as a support to get onto my hand."

My eyes widen as I gaze at the intricacies of his thumbprint—each curve and crevice forming a uniquely detailed pattern. I spread out my fingers. My hand doesn't even cover a fraction of the print, it's so... little. I stand there in awe, completely mesmerized by the sight in front of me as my cheeks become warmer and warmer.

"Is something wrong?" Derrick asks.

"N-no! Nothing's wrong!" I sputter, embarrassed that I'd been staring at my deskmate's thumbprint for so long.

I press down on Derrick's thumb with nearly all of my strength. It doesn't move an inch. I look toward the palm of his hand, and, using his thumb for support, I manage to lift one leg and plant it on the fleshy surface in front of me. I push off from Derrick's thumb and leap forward into his hand, only to trip on the squishy surface beneath my feet and fall flat on my face!

Derrick gasps. "Are you okay?"

I push against the skin beneath me and manage to get up onto my knees. I nod, my face completely red.

"We'll work on this," my deskmate says, lifting his hand from the balcony and closer to his chest.

"So, um..." I start, my gaze fixed on the palm I'm in. I'm interrupted, however, by a large finger lifting my head until my eyes meet Derrick's.

"Lesson two," Derrick says, "you should always try to look a perthean in the eyes when you speak to them. This makes it easier for us to hear you and perceive your emotions."

"O-oh, okay," I murmur, shivering.

Derrick smiles. "Now, what were you going to say?"

"Oh, I was just about to ask what happens now."

Derrick gazes off into the distance, his brows furrowed in thought. Did he not think he'd get this far?

"I was thinking we could just sit and talk for a while," he says, looking back at me.

"Talk?" I ask. "About what?"

"Anything," Derrick says, moving beside the balcony.

I sway from side to side in my deskmate's hand as he walks. I've gotten more accustomed to this with each passing school day, so I don't have to steady myself as much anymore. But when Derrick lowers himself to sit on the ground, I let out a yelp as the quick motion catches me completely off guard! My insides flip upside down, and I try my hardest to keep from losing my lunch.

"Sorry! Was that too quick?" Derrick asks.

"A little," I squeak, wondering what I've really gotten myself into by agreeing to meet back here with this guy.

"Sorry. I'll try to be more gentle," he says. "So... what do you want to talk about?"

"You're the one who wanted to meet back here in the first place. Shouldn't you be coming up with the ideas?" I ask.

I pick at my nails, keeping my gaze away from Derrick's. Once again, a large finger lifts my head until my eyes are locked with my deskmate's. I can't help but shudder as we glance at each other. Will I ever get used to the weight of his stare?

Derrick smiles reassuringly. "Alright," he says. "Let's talk about you."

My heart skips a beat as blood rushes to my cheeks. "What?! Why me?!" I ask.

"Hey, you said I should be the one coming up with the ideas!" Derrick laughs. "And besides... ever since we became deskmates, I've been curious to learn more about you."

I cross my arms and hang my head low to hide that I'm now blushing even harder. I've always hated talking about myself, it's so embarrassing! I'm not even that interesting!

"Come on," Derrick says, lifting me up to be eye level with him. "Can't you at least tell me a little bit about yourself?"

"I-I—" I stutter, trying to come up with any way to get myself out of this, only to sigh in defeat. "Okay."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Once Derrick and I got to talking, the time flew by. I told him a bit about the move, and he was surprised to hear that Dad and I traveled nearly 900 roams from Maedri to Chancelor. That's about 15,000 miles, which would feel like around 18,000 roams for a perthean. He asked why we would move that far, and I filled him in on how Dad really wanted me to go to his old high school. Thinking through it all again, it really doesn't make much sense. But, then again, neither does my dad.

Derrick told me a little bit about himself, too. He told me he lives with both of his parents, and that he has an identical twin brother who is away for university on Erimathea. I asked why they weren't in the same stage for school if they were the same age, and he mentioned something about his brother being able to graduate early. He seemed a bit uncomfortable with the topic, though, so I didn't push it much.

Before we knew it, we'd been talking behind the school for well over an hour. The funny thing is, the longer I spent in Derrick's hands, the easier it became to talk to him. I found myself trembling less and less over time, and I was able to maintain eye contact for most of our conversation.

"With exposure and with time," I recall Dad saying, "things can get better."

I shake the memory away. Sure, this meet up with Derrick is helping, but it wasn't Dad's idea!

"Uh-oh," Derrick says, glancing at his phone. "It's nearly 5 o'clock."

I let out a gasp as my eyes widen with realization. Dad's going to be expecting me home any minute now! I don't want him wondering where I've been! How in the world would I explain Derrick trying to help me with my fear? I can already see the smile on Dad's face. I can already hear him telling me how he knew sending me to this school would be a good decision. I can't just let him win, can I?

"Do you have somewhere to be?" Derrick asks.

"I... well," I stammer, not sure how to explain my situation. "My dad's going to be expecting me any minute now, and it usually takes me over an hour to walk home from here!"

"Really? Do you live far from here?"

"I think it's a bit far from here," I say, trying to mentally calculate the distance based on how long my walk home usually is. "I live at the human apartment building on Seren Avenue."

Derrick blinks. "Are you serious?"

"W-what?" I ask, a shudder running down my spine.

"That's right around the corner from here! That's not far at all," Derrick chuckles.

"Well, for you it might not be, but—!"

"I know, I know," Derrick says. "It's twenty times the distance for you."

I rub my arm. "I just don't know how I'm going to explain this to my dad," I mutter. "If he finds out we met up because of my fear, or that we hung out at all... I feel like he's going to hold that over my head."

My deskmate hums, leaning back against the wall. "I might have an idea," he says with a smile, lifting me to his eyes.

"Y-you do?" I stutter, still not used to when he holds me close to his face like this.

"Are you ready for your next assignment?" he asks.

"That depends," I say, scooting back a little in his palm. "what is it?"

"Will you let me walk you home?" He asks. "In favor of taking another step towards overcoming your fear?"

"I-I don't know..."

"Come on! What do you have to lose?"

I look into my deskmate's round blue eyes. I can't tell if he's encouraging me or pleading with me at this point, but does my answer even matter? He already knows where I live, so he can take me home whether I want him to or not. I guess it's good that he's asking, but... is this really a good idea? What will people think of a boy walking a girl home? What if the perthean lobby receptionist at the apartment sees us and tries to strike up another conversation? What if she tells Dad a perthean boy walked his daughter home? What will Dad think of Derrick walking me home? Ugh, he'd probably be ecstatic to see me getting along with my deskmate...

I take a deep breath and let it out. "Okay," I say. What could really go wrong?

"Alright!" Derrick says cheerfully, leaning forward to stand up.

"P-please be careful!" I plead in fear of being knocked about.

"I will," he says, being surprisingly gentle as he rises to his feet. "Now, Seren... Seren... that would be this way."

I sway around in my deskmate's hand with each step he takes. I keep my head down to prevent myself from getting nauseous, but I can tell when Derrick rounds a few corners and ends up on the sidewalk beyond the school grounds.

"We're almost there," he says.

"What? We just left!"

"It's that white building, right? About three blocks down?" Derrick asks, pointing to a small building far off in the distance.

I remember seeing pictures of the outside of the apartment online, and I guess it sort of looks like the building my deskmate is pointing to, but I can't really tell from this distance.

"Even if that's the right place, it's still going to take you at least a half hour to get there from here," I assert.

"Watch me," Derrick says.

"You're not going to try running it, are you?!" I exclaim, a sudden panic taking over.

"What? No, of course not! I'm going to take it nice and steady. Just don't be surprised when we get there in about..." my deskmate says, squinting at the white building in the distance. "Five minutes."

"Ha! Right!" I roll my eyes at his ridiculous estimate. There's no way what would take me an hour and a half is going to take him any less than thirty minutes.

As Derrick begins to walk again, I peek up from his hand every once in a while to see how far we are from our destination. To my surprise, we're approaching it much faster than I first anticipated.

I keep to myself for the most part, until something strange lands in Derrick's palm. I blink a few times, uncertain of what it is I'm seeing. It's long, a bit rounded, and a lovely shade of light pink. I reach out and poke it first, to make sure it's not some kind of bug. When it doesn't fly away, I lean over and take it in my hands. It's soft to the touch, though a bit wrinkly. It almost feels like some kind of plant.

"Hey," I say, my focus shifting back to my deskmate. "Do you know what this is?"

Derrick stops for a moment and looks down at the pink object in my hands. He tilts his head to the side, inquisitively.

"I think it's a petal," he says.

"A petal? From what?" I ask, excitedly scanning the ground beneath me for any flowers. To my disappointment, I don't see any.

"From that tree," my deskmate answers, pointing above and behind me to a massive heap of pink blossoms swinging in the wind, connected together by dark, twisting branches to a thick trunk.

My eyes immediately widen when it comes into view. The big blossoms float about in the sky high above us, and little petals rain down all around like snowflakes. This is a sight I've only ever dreamt about or seen in movies before. I never thought I'd get to see something like this for myself! The sky lights in Maedri's undercity always depicted cherry blossoms around spring every year, and I thought that was a sight to behold! But now I'm seeing the real thing? Am I really awake right now?

As Derrick begins to walk again, I try peeking around him to continue looking at the tree. Given his size, however, this proves fruitless. I slump in his palm, saddened that I only got a few moments with such a beautiful part of nature.

Derrick stops again, looking down at my slouching figure. He backs up a bit, and, reaching up to the tree, tears off a tiny section of a branch covered in flowers. He examines it between his fingertips for a moment, and then hands it to me.

My cheeks redden, and I can't help but let a smile creep across my face. Although I quiver at the sight of Derrick's nearing hand, I take the branch.

"For me?" I ask, my voice trembling.

"Mhm," Derrick hums. "A souvenir."

My breathing picks up speed with my heart rate. "Th-thanks," I manage.

Now I really can't let Dad find out about all this. What would he think of a boy giving me flowers?! I'd throw them right out if not for how mesmerized I still am by the sight of that tree.

After a few more moments of walking, Derrick stops again.

"The Apartments at Seren," he says.

I look up from the flowers in my lap. "No way!" I exclaim, dumbfounded.

"Well," Derrick says, pointing, "that's what it says on the sign."

Sure enough, the sign reads the name of my apartment building. Derrick reaches for the door to enter the perthean lobby.

"Wait!" I shout, only to bite my lip at the realization that I was a little too loud. "Um... is it okay if you just drop me off outside? There's an undercity entrance on the side of the building."

"Wouldn't it be faster to just drop you off inside?" Derrick asks.

"Well, it's just that... my dad likes to talk to the receptionist in there, and I don't know how he'd react if he saw a guy walking me home. And giving me flowers."

"Oh! Don't worry, I understand," he says. "I'll just set you down right here, then."

Derrick gently lowers himself to the ground, and places the hand I'm in down on the sidewalk. I rise from my place in his palm, wobbling a little at first as I struggle to stand. Bookbag and blossoms secured, I carefully inch toward the edge of my deskmate's hand, one step at a time, and then leap off onto the sidewalk.

"I guess I'll see you tomorrow?" Derrick asks.

"On Firsday," I say.

"Oh, right," he says. "I'll see you on Firsday."

"Alright. Bye!" I say, sheepishly waving as I make my way toward the undercity entrance on the side of the apartment building.

As I'm walking, I have a sudden realization— I completely forgot to thank Derrick! I turn around, only to see him walking away from the apartment building.

"Hey!" I yell, but Derrick doesn't seem to hear me.

I huff. I don't want to seem rude! I run after Derrick, as fast as I can, until I'm right beside him on the ground.

"Hey! Derrick! Wait!" I shout, hoping he'll hear me.

"Huh?" Derrick looks down.

The glass that veiled my fear for only a moment shatters as I stand face to face with a tall, tall perthean. From the ground. My eyes widen. My insides contort into a knot, and the world begins to spin around me. My heart slams against my ribcage and my legs tremble beneath me, again begging me to run away. Just what do I think I'm doing?

"Kaylin? Is everything okay?" Derrick asks.

"I-I— I w... I wanted..." I stutter and stutter, fumbling over every word as I rack my brain for whatever it was I wanted to say.

Derrick must realize I'm struggling, so he kneels down closer to the ground. "Yes?" He asks.

"I-I... I wanted t-to... I wanted to thank you!" I say, crossing my arm over my chest and leaning forward. "For helping me, and walking me home."

"Oh!" Derrick smiles. "Don't mention it."

"O-okay! S-see you on Firsday," I stammer, all at once giving in to my quaking legs' pleas and running as fast as I can away from Derrick and toward the undercity entrance without looking back.

This fear just isn't going to quit, is it?

#too small to be afraid #tstba #perthea #giant/tiny #g/t #g/t writing #sorry this took so long aaaaaaa;;;#something recently blew a hole in my confidence in my writing abilities #so I'm not really confident about this chapter ahaa;;#I'm probably going to rewrite this chapter at some point to make it feel less like they're just standing around not doing anything #because that's kind of the overall vibe I still get :/#also Kaylin's fear feels repetitive in this chapter for some reason and dijashdiksadhfasd maybe I shouldn't post this yet #BUT IT'S BEEN SO LONG URGHHH #anyway #I hope you enjoy #feedback of any kind is always welcome as well since it helps me improve :3

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