#Yes yes yes yes he's soooooo fucked up
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Sup mother fucker I don't know what damn thing about you and your shit but I heard you like Luca Blight and I'm willing to chat as an anon about this I've given up.
I have this unhinged thought in regarding your little post....What if the very funny thing that the reader is doing is just being a pig full-time.
This is straight up your life now. 24/7
The girly you seen in the beginning stop acting like a pig and that was her mistake she should have committed. ( lmao what if you did it unprompted with no hesitation completely unbothered)
You are on borrowed time and you don't want to become bacon so oink oink forever you guess.
Drop to the ground start rolling in the mud and eating grass
Maybe after a while he'll let you stand and not eat off the floor? .... probably not
Tis I, the Luca Blight fucker, and by that I mean I love him so deeply he's such a mess I could never fix him and neither could anyone else and I love that for him. Unhinged to the extreme
It's like pet pay but completely non sexual and not even in a Soft Wholesome Ace Dom/Sub way you are just an object to him, at most an animal to his side, a beast he can toy with as he pleases. He is a spoiled 5 year old and you are the declawed kitten his daddy got him for Christmas. He will hold you, he will throw you, he will hurt you and love you and do as he pleases and you have no say in the matter.
The concept of Luca taking you around though, to villages he burns to see that you will never have an escape, to meetings to show how loyal everyone is to him, how total his control is, how guarded you are. You're not an example to them, they're an example to you. You have nothing else but him.
And he's not even holding you out of love, he doesn't even really force you to stay, at least to him. Sure your options are Stay or Die but it's not like he's actively gripping onto you or chaining you up at night. If you ran, and died by his guards, it would not affect him, thought he would have liked to do it himself, in the end it means nothing to him to see your corpse.
He'd be a perfect Yandere to write about but he doesn't even care about you. You are nothing to him, like everyone else is this putrid world he hates. He keeps you because you're mildly more amusing than the other pigs of the lands, because you committed to being a pig for him, because you chose to live in shame on all fours eating off the floor rather than die with your head held high.
You're like him in that way.
#Luca Blight#Luca Blight X Reader#Suikoden ii#Suikoden 2#Suikoden X Reader#Proship#Yandere#This mother fucker (affectionate)#Anon I thank you for showing interest in the fucking guy ever what is wrong with him#I love you Reader who chose life in disgrace over death with pride#The overlap with Luca is beautiful like unreal <3#He does not feel anything for you he doesn't feel anything for anyone anymore#But he sees his mirror self in you and at the very least the irony of showing you mercy where he was given cruelty makes him laugh#This world will burn and it will be his fault and if you really want you can be there along side him#His faithful pig... Nothing more than a pet.#Yes yes yes yes he's soooooo fucked up#I would write this fic if I knew the first fucking thing about agnst#I need my boyfriend to play this game and be insane about it sooooo badly jgkfdjgd#Remakes come soon please!!!#actually don't I'm broke atm fdjkgjfdjg but still
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Family Portrait
aka an au of a lil 7yo Ezra in a modern Jarrus-Syndulla household. and he's got an About My Family project due tomorrow. and he is doing his best.
bonus drawing:
he's seven okay. he's doing his best.
#EDIT: belatedly realised i'd put up the transparent png up. i dont want that. i've fixed it now. but that doesn't fix reblogs sooo... FUck.#yes he has blue hair in a modern au so what#also yes he dressed himself. and nobody stopped him.#but to be fair to kanan. he can't see. so he doesn't know how many types of blue ezra has on him.#and sabine is only two years older and has a WORSE sense of fashion at that point. soooooo.#ezra bridger#kanan jarrus#hera syndulla#sabine wren#chopper#c1-10p#garazeb orrelios#star wars: rebels#rebels#star wars#mimse art#my art#YES I KNOW ITS SHIT BUT IM TRYING OKAY
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Gambling Apocalypse Tenma AU
As I rewatch Kaiji I inevitably end up wanting to combine show I like with other show I like and stuffing fav characters into show. So here we are.
This was uh going to be a short summary type thing but I accidentally wrote a novella about it sorry
This AU starts off with a much more depressive Tenma. After Tobio's death, rather than immediately pour his grief into developing a robot version of his son, he recedes into himself, psychologically paralyzed, likely turning to alcohol to drown out his anguish.
His mental state is taken as an opportunity within the Ministry of Science to have him ejected from his position; Tenma was never the most well-liked director, and there were those with ambition to usurp him that would jump at the chance. Not that he especially cares in his state.
He's eventually dragged out of his stagnation by Ochanomizu - who, inadvertently, becomes the very catalyst pushing Tenma to develop a robot replacement to his child. This was not what he meant by encouraging Tenma to fill the void left by his son.
...But, well, he is no longer the director of the Ministry of Science. His access to limitless government funds and resources for "scientific research" has been cut off, and this is a project he cannot finance on his own. He can't ask Ochanomizu for help, but...interestingly...a representative of a certain shady organization known as the Teiai Corporation reaches out to him, offering to finance and support his project. A sane and well-minded Tenma might think better of it, but grieving and desperate, Tenma accepts their offer and is able to create a robot in the image of his beloved Tobio. For a while, there's joy in his life.
But the bill, as ever, comes due: Tenma must pay up, and the very resources that had been at his disposal will certainly ensure that he will, or else. Of course, he doesn't have the money; instead, he is given a choice. He can relinquish the robot Tobio in order to wipe out his debt - the child is a sophisticated and powerful robot, after all - or he can participate in a certain illicit event hosted by the Teiai Corporation.
It's nothing major...just a four-hour gambling cruise with a collection of desperate, damned souls that were also swept into debt with Teiai. The conditions are simple: Those who choose to participate are given a chance to clear their debts wholesale should they win. And should they lose...?
Well...no one really knows what happens to the losers seized by Teiai. It's said that they labour away their debts under Teiai's watchful eye and are freed once their work has covered their debts, though it's rumoured that most perish before they reclaim freedom.
There's only one answer Tenma can give, of course; he's not willing to lose Tobio again.
Thus is Tenma's debut into the Gambling Apocalypse, where he must become cutthroat in order to survive; if he wants to see his son again, he must make choices that will doom the hapless to miserable servitude, with a nonzero chance it ends in their death.
He survives the cruise, but of course, it was hardly enough to clear his debt; the cruise was never going to be the end of it. Teiai doesn't let go of its victims that easily. He will be called on again: this is a weight that hangs over him, all while he returns to his son Tobio. The same hands that have pushed innocents into hell must now be the hands that can embrace his child.
He wants to protect Tobio from the truth and enjoy what peaceful moments he's allowed with his son, but it's difficult. It's difficult to be the parent of a child who cannot understand the danger that looms ahead; this "happy" home is not to last. Tenma angers quickly and easily. He turns that anger onto Tobio.
As Teiai's games become more and more vicious and unrelenting, as his conscience holds onto the last vestiges of thread that remain, Tenma even threatens, once, to give the boy in: it would all end, then; the debt would be clear and no longer would he have to endure Tobio's childish annoyances, his ungratefulness.
The next time that Tenma is beckoned, Tobio takes matters into his own hands. He does understand, now; and he would have, if only Tenma had bothered to explain sooner. If it's a debt that needs clearing, he will work. He will help his father clear his debts however he can. Of course, it's difficult to find work as a child; but a circus troupe finds amusement in the idea of a child robot, and takes him in. He is whisked into a certainly unpleasant working situation, but he remembers his father, and what he must be enduring. Tobio, also, will endure.
When Tenma returns, Tobio is gone.
All that held Tenma back from becoming something monstrous has disappeared. All that kept him going has disappeared. When he is called upon by Teiai, there is no knowing what sort of person might come out the other end; whether a monster clawing his way to freedom regardless of what actions he must take, or a desolate husk surrendering defeat.
There is still a light, however dim: Found by Professor Ochanomizu and rescued from the circus, Tobio - now Atom - is able to shed light on the situation which Tenma took great pains to keep hidden from his old friend. With time running out, Ochanomizu and Atom must do what they can to save Tenma - from Teiai, and from himself.
-----
UHHH and that's a wrap!!!! I couldn't quite decide which way Tenma would go after hitting Rock Bottom in this AU, and tbh it would really depend on the kind of mental state he's in at the time. On the one hand I like the narrative of Ochanomizu and Tobio racing to prevent Tenma from crossing a line (actual outright murder probably) - or having to pull him back into humanity (and yknow, his ensuing penance)
But on the other hand having him get sent to Teiai Evil Hell Prison would be interesting because a) there's a lot of narrative potential having Tenma faced with what Teiai is doing with the people that lose the games and b) need him to decimate the foreman at chinchirorin Kaiji style
Tenma's whole character is definitely a much different guy in this AU, he starts off pretty sympathetic, the guy you wanna root for, he just ends up having an inverse character arc where he gets worse instead of better. His conflict with "Tobio" is also kind of reversed, less about being unsatisfied with Tobio as a son and more not being able to handle the fact that he probably has intense PTSD now and isnt capable of coping with it in a way conducive to being a parent (or like, coping at all)
Anyway that's gambling apocalypse tenma!!!
#umataro tenma#long post#well that became a novel. sorry lmao#in my mind teiai's evil hell prison in astro boy verse would probably be quite a bit different than regular kaiji#like. fuckin. weapons manufacturing for teiai or something like that. or scary bad danger robots. horrifying concept#Tenma would be a valuable asset to them whether by giving up Atom or by losing in death game hell and being forced to work for em#and if he dies? they can just take atom#get him out of there.#I'm also thinkin of who Teiai would be represented by.....the snakey loan sharks u could easily put skunk in there.#but who is an evil fucked up sadist billionaire. theres probably someone who could be fucked up enough I just dont know offhand#and im allergic to mischaracterizing in AUs lol im not gonna make a slightly bad guy into an evil freakguy. so. Hyoudou is just himself.#if you squint this could be considered an 80s astro boy AU..has a cruise arc & not actually giving atom away#but man. that tenma LEAST of all deserves this fate lmao#do I want to write fic of this? yes. will I? not likely!#I can just smell it dude this would be some crazy fuckoff 100k shit I am not ready brother#also it would just be soooooo so so so so so edgy. I dont really enjoy writing intensely grim stuff w/ little to no respite#also tbh. I am too stupid. LOL. I cannot write clever gambles alas
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frankie do you think astarion is the type of guy who would pick his partner up and spin them around in a hug if they’re apart for a while (assuming that he can pick them up, 8 strength king ❤️)
hi im not asure about the picking up but i do think he would GLOMP his partner and refuse to let go for a HOT fucking minute
honedtly i see its more likely that he would launch himself at his partner LOL
#frankie answers#it is canon that he picks them up when they fuck tho soooooo#at least bt 1&2#however. if his partnwr ASKED HIM TO BEFOREHAND he would love to fulfill that request the next time so#overall: yes:)
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well damn, they sure shoved a ton of bullshit into the last 30 minutes of shadow and bone season 2.....
#shadow and bone season 2 finale#i know it's to get people to keep watching but that power enhancing drug came outta nowhere#and come onnnn with leaving matthias in jail???#he was stuck there for a whole season i did not care about any of those scenes#which means we get more of nina AND matthias doing the exact same things next season 🙄🙄#i like their characters but their current storyline is so dumb#oh soooooo conveinent that matthias decides to fight on the exact night nina gets there with a pardon from the KING#that apparently means fuckall???#also i never cared about pekka way too much pekka#shadow and bone#shadow and bone no funerals#naomi watches things tag#i love what they did with inej tho. yes girlll go kill those slavers!!!!#sab2#also come one guys. we all know david is alive#and what da heck is with nikolai?? is he gonna slowly turn into a nichevoi'ya???#but ooookay no one else who got attacked by the shadow monsters did 🙄🙄#i love this show but it's very........ YA vibes#i loved kirigan at the end though#sad wet little meow meow who knows he lost and still tried to do something for alina because of his weird fucked up love for her aww ❤️#i was actually surprised when she killed him i didn't think the writers would go there but id be mad if they didnt lol
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Sorry to still be a #Hater but, knowing I Will be playing 3 playthroughs of Persona 3 (2 Portable runs and one FES+The Answer run) sounds so much more fun and enjoyable than playing Persona 5 for a second time, vanilla or Royal I'M SORRY THIS IS A P5 HATE ACCOUNT NOW
#victor beeps#meanwhile i will play P4 one million times#i'm sorry!!!!! i didn't like 5's story as much#it starts off SO BAD (content wise. which is why i put the game down for like a year)#i love the phantom thieves. honest. but joker isn't my fave protag#I HATE MORGANA >:V I WANNA LIKE HIM SO BAD CAUSE KITTY BUT HE SUCKS#ann was done SOOOOOO dirty. and ryuji too <:/ (love both them so much tho)#yusuke is written as the ''weird kid'' and just feels like everyone is laughing at him all the time#i didn't find makoto or haru all that memorable compared to the rest of the party#i don't really have a problem with futaba's writing. i love her so much and love how they handled her mental problems actually#but the ''she's practically my sister'' line in Royal and you can still romance her :/ kinda yuck#also ummm biggest issue with 5 is that you can romance the adult women and joker's 16. one of them being your teacher :/ big yikes#and i don't much care for kasumi as others do. she's an interesting character yes but sorry#akechi my wonderful son it felt like his story was snuffed out super quick just to get to the end. also fuck pancakes shut up fuck you#i'm sorry i can't help but compare it to the games that came before. 5 was my first persona game tho#i just prefer 4. story and characters#a copy of p5r is at the gamestop for like 20 bucks and i do want it! but i just can't be assed to play p5 again at least for a long while#long tags of me being a hater man sorryyyyyyy if you read all these i love you <3
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can't believe i had that much to say about sasuhina in the year 2023 but here i am lmao
#talk no jutsu#sasuke#hinata#i just think their potential dynamic would be soooooo funny to me#both as a concept and how i think it plays out. bc they both strike me as the kind of ppl who have mutual social circles (rookie 9#fuck i forgot dashes close a tag. but ye with the rookie 9 then being bloodline clan heirs and dojutsu wielders#so like. all these things that on paper they have in common. but in practice they don't interact at all outside of common group social event#bc the impression they give each other would just totally turn them off from each other and from making an effort to get to know the other#but. BUT. if somehow on the slim chance they DID manage to get their brain waves synced????#absolutely unstoppable duo#sasuke: ...so u mean to tell me konoha higher ups are completely aware that half of ur family enslaves the other half#and sasuke just implodes#hinata's deal otoh would be like#hinata: i know you have a complex relationship with your brother but as an elder sister myself i just can't understand how did that to you#hinata: i can't picture myself ever putting hanabi through what you had to endure as a kid. i'm sorry he hurt you like that#sasuke.exe encounters an error trying to process that
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The Magic Trick You Didn’t See: Being An Analysis of Good Omens Season 2
(or: Neil Gaiman, Your Brain is Gorgeous
But I Have Cracked Your Sneaky Little Code
And Have You Dead To Rights*)
(*Maybe)
***
Soooooo I just spent the last 48 hours having a BREATHTAKING GALAXY BRAIN EPIPHANY about Good Omens Season 2 and feverishly writing a fuckin16,000 word essay about the incredible magic trick that @neil-gaiman pulled off.
Yes, it’s long, but I PROMISE your brains will explode. Do you want to know how magic works? Do you want to know what Metatron’s deal is (I’m like 99% sure of this and it’s EXTREMELY FUCKING GOOD)? Do you want to know about the Mystery of the Vanishing Eccles Cakes and the big fat beautiful clue I found in the opening credits? Do you go through the whole inventory of Chekov’s Firearm & Heavy Artillery Discount Warehouse?
Here is the essay, go read it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ When ur done u can tell me I’m an insane crackpot, and u know what, i won’t even be offended
In case you don’t know whether you want to bother reading the whole enormous thing on google docs, I’ve put the first couple sections of it under the cut. JUST TRUST ME OKAY, HEAR ME OUT, THIS IS VERY EXTREMELY COOL, NEIL IS GOOD AT HIS JOB--
Proem
A dark theater. The rustling of the audience: clothes, breathing, whispers of anticipation. The lights come up. A man enters, stage left. He is a magician—a master magician—and he performs for you a magic trick so good and so subtle... that you don’t even notice you’ve seen it.
You know there must have been a trick—after all, you came to the theater to see a trick performed, didn’t you? And he claims to be a magician. So there had to be a trick somewhere. There had to be.
But maybe there wasn’t. Maybe there was just a man on a stage, talking to you, telling you a story with a strangely unsatisfying ending you didn’t quite understand.
I know. This is a weird beginning to an analysis essay. But hear me out, because I have to explain the mechanisms of the stage before I can show you what the trick was, where the trapdoor was hidden, and how Neil Gaiman pulled the whole thing off so gently and elegantly that you didn’t notice a thing. Ready? Here we go.
The Facts As We Know Them
Let us begin by establishing a baseline—some fundamental, logical assumptions that underpin the magic trick. These will seem obvious as soon as I say them, which is precisely the point: They are self-evident, loadbearing foundations for my entire argument, and if I don’t point them out, I’m going to sound like a crackpot conspiracy theorist. (Which! To be fair, I might be. I could easily be wrong about all this—but I don’t think I am.)
Our baseline, loadbearing assumptions that preface my Grand Unified Theory of Season 2:
1. Neil Gaiman is extremely good at his job.
2. Neil Gaiman loves these characters and wants with all his heart to do them justice; likewise, he has a great deal of respect, love, and admiration for Terry Pratchett and is striving VERY HARD to write the show the way Terry would have been happy with.
3. The devil, as they say, is in the details: Neil Gaiman and the entire Good Omens cast/crew are fully capable of doing extremely subtle detail work, as conclusively proven in Season 1 Ep 6, specifically the whole sequence of the body-swap scenes.
With me so far? Great.
The Elephant In The Room
Season 2 was... odd. It was odd, wasn’t it. This isn’t a matter of whether you loved it or hated it—there was just something odd going on.
I spent the entirety of my first viewing very much enjoying myself and being very happy to be back with these characters and this world, but I was also liveblogging to my groupchat as I went, and a theme soon began emerging:
“Neil, what are you doing? Where are you going with this?”
“What in god’s name is going on here? I’m so lost lmao.”
“What is going on with the music situation?”
“WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE NEIL”
“zombies, ok, I trust u to pull this all together in the end, Neil, but I still don't know what you're up to”
“What is going on LOL”
“Incredibly what is going on here”
“NEIL! WHAT IS HAPPENING!”
“Literally what is happening”
“Neil Gaiman why have you constructed a regency au for mystery VIBES reasons”
“just????????? lesbians????????? dancing what's HAPPENING. just all the background characters are gay here ok sure sure sure NEIL GAIMAN WHAT IS HAPPENING--”
“mmmmmmm neil what u doin”
All these are copied verbatim from my liveblogging, and apparently I am not the only one to have this reaction. And to be clear, I was having a good time! I came out to this theater to see a magic trick, and this Neil Gaiman guy on stage is a master magician—but I didn’t see the trick, even though there must have been a trick.
At first, I wasn’t sure how I felt about the season. I wanted to like it! Indeed, there were many things that I liked about it! But I felt a bit muddled and jumbled up and confused—I felt like there was something I didn’t understand about it, and so I couldn’t yet understand how I felt about it either.
I started chewing on this question in a friend’s DMs: Why is season 2 so fucking odd? What is going on here, Neil? What are you up to? The matter of whether he was up to something was never in question. I knew that he had to be up to something. Writers are always up to something, and as I watched season 2, it was as if I was watching Neil scamper around the room with a mischievous expression as he messed with things here and there and made little tweaks and adjustments to the arrangement of all the Chekov’s guns he’s stockpiling on the mantelpiece.
You see, Season 2 has some very bad writing in it. HANG ON, DON’T ARGUE WITH ME YET! THIS IS NOT A JUDGMENT CALL!! This is the rug that the trick’s secret mechanism is hidden under!!! This is the hidden mirror that makes the trick work!!!!! This is the trapdoor in the stage!
Yes, of course I will explain myself.
Neil Gaiman is a master magician, but I am a pretty damn good magician myself—I’m a professional fantasy author who has published nine books, and I teach workshops for apprentice writers online and at universities—and if there is one thing I have learned about the process of achieving mastery of your craft, it is this:
Regardless of what medium they’re working in, the apprentice artist is concerned primarily with achieving realism via an expansion of their control—control of their brush strokes as they paint a photorealistic eye; control of their deck of cards, the mechanisms of their magic tricks, and where the audience’s attention is being directed; control of all the little factors of voice, plot, character, setting, suspense and surprise that go into writing a good story. However, the master artist has achieved that control—so much so that it often looks effortless to an untrained eye—and sometimes the master artist returns to a messy, amateurish style simply because they have control even over this too.
As an example, consider Picasso and his entire body of work. He begins as an apprentice focused on achieving control, doing portraits of people that look like people—like what we expect a portrait of a person to look like. Then, as he grows in skill and gradually achieves mastery, he pulls away from realism. He develops a style, he experiments with faces that don’t look like any human alive colored in ways that do not appear in nature. He expands his control. His work becomes abstract. Towards the end of his life, he starts experimenting with what’s called “Naive art”, something that a 5 year old could theoretically draw... but you have to achieve mastery before you can do it on purpose and have it look good.
On one hand, Neil Gaiman is extremely good at his job. On the other hand, Season 2 has bad writing in it.
What does that tell us?
Well, we know from our Baseline Assumptions that Neil Gaiman is simply too good of a writer to fuck up through garden-variety clumsiness and lack-of-control the way an apprentice writer would. Additionally, he cannot fuck up by accident in this case because I am positive that the man is scrutinizing his work on Good Omens far too closely to let anything slide—for Crowley and Aziraphale’s sakes, for David and Michael’s sakes, and especially for Terry’s sake. The stakes are sky-high, and he cares too much to write a weird, kind of “bad” season by accident.
Which leaves only one option: He did it on purpose.
(Am I sounding like a crackpot conspiracy theorist? Baby, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet. I’m gonna get SO MUCH MORE CRACKPOT.)
If he did it on purpose, then the natural question to ask is: WHY!?!?!??
It’s a great question. Not “Why?” in terms of why he as an individual person with emotions would decide to do that, mind you. More like, “What purpose does this serve for the structure of the narrative?” There is a story he is intending to tell, and out of all the choices he could have possibly made, for some reason this one was necessary and correct in order to achieve that end goal—so what was that reason?
See? Intentionality. He knows exactly what details he left in, and he did it on purpose. (Editing! It’s important!)
So there has to be a reason. It’s like when a master magician “casually” rubs an itch on his nose—why did he do that? What is he sneakily slipping into his mouth by hiding it under the excuse of this little gesture that does not even register to you as meaningful? (If you haven’t watched enough stage magic to know what I mean, watch this.)
This question is, of course, impossible to simply answer out of thin air without any further evidence. It is a dead end—so we must adjust the question and come at it from a different angle.
The one I settled on when I was chewing on this was: Well, okay, what do I mean when I say “bad writing”? What is it about S2 that makes it feel so goddamn odd?
The Pledge, The Turn, and... The Conspicuous, Expectant Silence
There are three parts to a magic trick: Pledge, Turn, Prestige.
First, the Pledge: You show the audience something ordinary.
Second, the Turn: You make that ordinary thing do something extraordinary, like vanish.
Third, the Prestige: You bring the ordinary thing back.
To quote the 2006 film The Prestige just after its explanation of the first two parts: “You want to be fooled. But you wouldn’t clap yet, because making something disappear isn’t enough. You have to bring it back.”
You have to bring it back.
When I teach apprentice writers, I call this a “setup-payoff cycle”. Achieving control and dexterity with this tool is crucial, because the setup-payoff cycle is the engine of the story—it’s what makes the story run. You can have a setup-payoff cycle at any scale—I have read ones that were a single sentence long; I’ve read ones that were two books long. Additionally, all jokes, no matter how long they are, are structured on a setup/payoff cycle. These cycles work precisely the same way a magic trick does:
You set up the audience’s expectations.
(Optional but generally considered stylish and elegant: You give those expectations a firm jolt to throw the audience off-balance.)
You pay off the audience’s expectations in a way they weren’t expecting, while saying “TA DA!!!!” really loud with your arms flung wide.
Audiences really like this. A setup-payoff cycle executed just right makes the audience’s brains light up like Times Square and hammers on their mental “reward” buttons like nothing else. It’s like you’ve personally handed them a cookie and a gold star. They go wild for this.
Here’s an example of a setup-payoff cycle, though it’s not a perfect one—and you’ve probably heard it before, so you’re not going to be throwing chairs and tearing down the theater from sheer glee:
The Setup: Knock knock. Who’s there? Banana. Banana who?
The Jolt: (the joke starts over and repeats several times without reaching the payoff (aka the prestige) while the audience grows more and more annoyed and frustrated about the unfulfilled expectations, until finally...) Knock knock. Who’s there? Orange. Orange who?
The Payoff: ORANGE YOU GLAD I DIDN’T SAY BANANA?
Good Omens Season 2 feels so fucking odd because the setup-payoff cycles are incomplete—nearly all of them are, and the ones that do close the loop do so in really weird ways which, as a professional author, make me feel kind of, “Bwuh?????? But where’s my cookie? Excuse me??? Sir???? Neil????? My cookie, tho???”
When I realized this, when I finally put my finger on why the whole season was giving me some uncanny valley heebie-jeebies, a chill ran down my spine.
(The rest is here: https://docs.google.com/document/d/193IXS11XN46lziHRb6eUpM17yK0BQkRqke1Wh64A_e0/ I’M GOING TO GO STARE INTO THE ABYSS NOW BYE)
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Okay this is an idea I’ve had for a while but imagine Miguel hasn’t had time to fuck his s/o due to spider duties and Alchemax shenanigans. And they’re soooooo fucking horny typically they come to Miggy whenever they have this problem but they don’t want to bother him so they bring out some old tools. Their vibrators from before they started dating. Miguel comes home however right during the middle of you using one of them and he’s soooo mad cause he wants to fuck you. I’ll leave the rest of the fic up to you. 💋 Love you so much!!
You Set My Soul Alight
✿ฺ Paring ➳❥ Miguel O’Hara x F!Reader
✿ฺ Summary ➳❥ Miguel is always busy and leaving you in a mess. But you feel bad bothering him so you look for your past methods to get off.
✿ฺ (A/n) ➳❥ Inspired by “Supermassive Black Hole” by The Muse. Apologies this took a while.
✿ฺ Word Count ➳❥ 1k
✿ฺ Content Warnings ➳❥ Female reader, pet names (Mi amor, cariño) cock blocking, female masturbation, biting, blood, restraints, begging, choking, slightly mean Miguel…
Want more Miguel Content, check out my Masterlist!!
“Miguel.” You moaned out and pushed up against the kitchen counter.
You felt one hand slip under your shirt and, the other went down to your pants, tugging them down.
“Yes, mi amor?” Miguel whispered in your ear, “Use your words.”
“Please… Hurry.” You whined.
His body was up against you. His fingers lightly graze your skin in fear but still were attentive as possible. But you jolted when you felt a finger push inside you.
“Slow.” He murmured, “Slow.”
You continue to whine and moan as his finger moves in and out, then a second finger was added.
“Migu-!” His hand that was previously toying with your skin was now clammed over your mouth.
“So impatient.” He chuckled, “I ought to-“
His phone rings loudly and he curses rather loudly. Marching over it and answering it, talking to whoever was on the other side. But by the looks and sound, it wasn’t good news.
“I’m sorry, (Y/n). I have to head back to the office.” Miguel tells you.
“Go back? But you just got home a couple of hours ago.” You questioned.
“Well, they let the intern do the filings. I have to head back and fix their mistake.”
You watched him head up to the bathroom, leaving you flustered and bothered.
It wasn’t the first time something like this happened. Whenever Miguel had the chance to finally touch you, something always has to interrupt him.
It would’ve been fine if it was for the last couple of days, but it just had to be weeks!
Miguel grumbles in his office, looking over the mess the employees let the intern make. And what’s worse? Oh yeah, he has to go back to the headquarters before Peter B. does something stupid. Why did he leave that idiot in charge again?
He grumbles even more when he gets the notification on his laptop, more emails sent, and more paperwork to look over. Sometimes he wishes he could just ditch work and head back to you. But he knows he’s the boss and he couldn’t be doing that.
And it wasn’t the first time this happened…
You felt Miguel’s crotch press up against yours, his lips kissed down to your neck, placing light kisses before biting down.
Your hands come up to his hair, pulling him away from your neck. You watch him as he smirks, licking the blood off his lips.
“What did I say before?” He murmurs.
“Miguel.” You huffed, “Please.”
“Please what?”
“Please-“ His watch rang, making his hiss.
He grabs it, pressing a few buttons. A screen pops up, it’s Gwen, “Yes?”
“Um, how bad would it be if about a dozen villains escaped?”
“Gwen, you do not need me there.”
“Normally, yes. But if it’s all of them…”
“All of them?! How?!”
“I just got here!”
“I’m on my way.” He sighs, “I’m sorry, cariño, it’s-“
“Don’t apologize.” You sit up, “Go, I can take care of this.” Gesturing to the still-bleeding wound.
“I love you.” He places a kiss on your forehead.
“I love you too, Miguel.”
It wasn’t just frustrating for him, it was you as well.
You wanted to beg him to stay a little longer, but at the same time, it felt selfish. The HQ would’ve fallen to pieces if Miguel wasn’t there to control the situation.
And now, you laid back on the bed. Usually, you’d keep yourself busy with your work but the ache between your legs was getting unbearable by the second.
You huffed and opened the bedside table, last drawer, and hidden under a blanket was your vibrator. It’s been a while since you last used it, it was before Miguel became slammed with work. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
You took a deep breath and let it out, relaxing. With it up against your clit, you pressed the button. The vibrations made you jolt and your breath hitched. You closed your eyes and let yourself fall into your imagination while pleasure flows throughout your body.
You missed his touch. The way he made you feel. How careful he was with you like you were made of glass. But once he was sure of himself, he’d let himself go.
The way his hands come to your throat, squeezing it before his hands traveled down. But your favorite part is when he finally got to bite your neck. You knew it was his favorite and he wasn’t going to admit it.
Those nights that were pure bliss always heeded carefully, he wanted to be sure that you were okay and-
“Didn’t think you’d miss me this much.” Miguel leans on the door frame. Watching you cover yourself you, “No, no, don’t stop on my account.”
“I-I thought-“
“Yeah, the others had it handled. Came back home once I learned.” Miguel closes the door as he enters the shared bedroom, “So, what’s this?” Snatching the now turned-off toy, “How long have you been using this?”
“Just now.” You tell him.
He climbs onto the bed, “Am I really that disappointing in bed?” Miguel forces your legs open and pulls you closer to him, “Is that the only thing that can get you off?” He starts stripping himself.
“No! You’re more than enough.” You try to sit up but he pushes you back down.
“Then tell me why do you still have these?”
“B-Because you’re so busy, I didn’t want to bother you.”
As if his smirk couldn’t get anymore wider, “All you had to do was use your words.” Miguel holds your hands up against the headboard, using his webbing to keep them secure, “So, tell me. ¿Qué quieres?” (What do you want?)
“Please…”
“Please what?”
“Please, fuck me, Miguel.”
“See, was that so hard?” He chuckles.
He doesn’t bother wasting time preparing, he shoved himself in a single thrust. His hand comes to your throat, apply pressure.
Your legs tightly wrap around him, if he wasn’t already close to you, he is now.
“I’ve got a lot of making up to you.” He growls, “We have all day for it, keep your eyes on me and I’ll give you want you want.”
© 2023 Intoxicated-Chan, I do not allow my work to be copy, translated, or put my work on any other platform without my permission.
#x reader#x female reader#miguel x reader#miguel o'hara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o’hara x reader#miguel o’hara#spider man x you#spider man 2099#spider man x reader#spiderverse#spiderman#spiderman 2099#spiderman x you#spiderman 2099 x reader#spiderman x y/n#spider man#spiderman smut#smut#miguel o’hara smut
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rottmnt x reader || S/O who bites (out of love and affection obvi)
Rise! Donnie, Raph, Mikey, Leo x Reader (separately)
fluff? :D, gn reader, romantic (established relationship), BITING mmmm, mild swearing
Donnie
- the first time you bite him, he jumps and lets out a loud yelp, “ah! ow! what in the name of-“ then just stares at you in disbelief. absolutely incredulous. and has to take a while to process. why? why- HOW could you do this to him? after all he’s done for you?
- don’t play with him he HAS and WILL bite you back and NOT in a loving way
- he is ALWAYS on his guard
- you go in for a hug? you lean in to kiss him? you turn your head ever so slightly in his direction? his whole body tenses up. you’re giving this boy trust issues. he will physically, STILL GENTLY, push you away with his mechanical spider arm thingies…heaven forbid you bite those too….
- “Do. NOT. Bite me. Y/N.” “…”
- ^— “DO NOT. This is your last warning.”
- “Yes, Y/N. You’re very ferocious and vicious. Now STOP biting me.”
- “Sigh. That is NOT affection, Y/N.”
- “AH! Don’t bite me while I’m working, please…Don’t bite me ever!”
- “If you want to ‘show affection,’ you could just…I don’t know, hug me? or hold my hand? the biting is unnecessary.”
- NOT a fan of the biting at ALL
Raph
- The first time you bite him, “AHH!” he is confused. he does not understand. are you trying to attack him??? do you wanna throw hands??? what did he do to deserve that??? he does not want to throw hands with you
- he really does not see how biting is supposed to be showing your affection but whatever you say 😭
- his skin is pretty thick and rough. I mean you’d really have to sink your teeth in to hurt him so he just lets you. it actually lowkey tickles to him.
- “Careful. Ya don’t wanna bite my spikes.”
- it’s definitely not his favorite thing in the world but he doesn’t mind terribly if it really makes you happy and as long as it’s just you trying to show him love
- chooses to just take it as a sign that you want attention and/or some kind of affection
- would never bite you back tho
- however, I don’t suggest catching him off guard with a nibble cause he might start swingin 🤺 and would feel absolutely horrible abt it
Mikey
- the first time you bite him he’s offended. you’re gonna bite HIM? 🤨 yeah, ok buddy. he just squeaks in surprise and rubs where you bit him, looking at you like ‘😟’ before biting you back. he is taking it personally until you tell him you’re just showing affection cuz you love him soooooo much
- he’s perfectly ok with it then as long as you don’t bite him too hard
- LOVES to give and receive affection anyways so he makes it really easy to bite him when he’s clinging onto you all the time
- always giggles and squirms when you bite him
- returns your bites with kisses all over your face
Leo
- the fucking most dramatic ever
- the first time you bite him he acts like you just shot him
- “OWW!! OWIE! Ugh! Y/N! How COULD you?! BETRAYAL” while gripping where you bit his shoulder and whining like a toddler even though it did not hurt at all and you didn’t leave any sort of mark whatsoever.
- ^ drops the act completely when you tell him it was out of love
- now every time you do it he thinks you’re trying to flirt with him 🤞😔 and I mean I guess he’s sort of-ish right
- honestly he doesn’t really care but definitely teases you about it /ns
- “yeah? do I taste good, Y/N?” /ns!!
- “ow! ok, ok! not too hard!” while giggling
- “mhm…now kiss it better.” makes you kiss where you bit him every time.
——————————————————————————
now I know I ain’t the only one who bites like that 🤨
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#tmnt#rottmnt x reader#rise donnie#rottmnt donnie#rise donatello#rottmnt donatello#rise donnie x reader#rottmnt donnie x reader#rise donatello x reader#rottmnt donatello x reader#rise leo#rottmnt leo#rise leonardo#rottmnt leonardo#rise leo x reader#rottmnt leo x reader#rise leonardo x reader#rottmnt leonardo x reader#rise mikey#rottmnt mikey#rise michelangelo#rise mikey x reader#rottmnt mikey x reader#rise michelangelo x reader#rottmnt michelangelo x reader#rise raph#rottmnt raph#rise raph x reader
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not a request but this..
THIS is so rafe cameron! spoiling his sweet little girl. total princess treatment🎀
she’s lying in bed and whining about how she can’t pull up her socks because she’s soooooo exhausted after their fucking last night cause he railed her so so so so good!! she’s his little princess and no one will ever be treated like this!!🎀
OMG YES HELLO?!?
you’d whine, tugging on his hand. “i can't pull up my socks," you pout. you could barely move your legs, still worn out from the night before.
rafe sighed, kneeling down before you, roughly putting your foot on his lap as he pulled up the sock. "there you go, happy now?" he pat your thigh he's done.
he groaned "i've gone soft for you, sweetheart,"
#⋆｡°✩ lilys work#rafe cameron#rafe cameron smut#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron imagine#rafe cameron blurb#rafe cameron prompt#drew starkey#outer banks#obx
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HEARTBREAK SYNDROME.
episode five :: 99 PROBLEMS.
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ pairing ︴max verstappen x ex!y/n
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ genre ︴social media au / irl snippets
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ summary ﹔comeback: download has started.
fc – wonyoung jang (28)
꒰꒰◌‧₊ ⬪˙⋆ warnings ﹕none.
☆ IMESSAGE with ; BOARD OF DIRECTORS.
y/n: not to freak you guys out but i knew all along
my baby lando: FYM YOU KNEW ???
babygirl alex: y/n 😁 i swear to god
honey badger: wait
honey badger: what do you mean you knew
chili!: ????
chal eclair: ^^^^
girlfriend kika: babe
girlfriend kika: i need u to explain before pierre loses his shit bc he’s bubbling rn 🙏🏻🤍
y/n: okay hold on y’all listen
wifey lily: 👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻👂🏻
y/n: i always had this sneaking suspicion that some bullshit was going but every time i’d ask him about nothing would come of it
y/n: so i was like maybe i’m the problem 😀
y/n: then i found lipstick in our bathroom and i was like yo ??? tf is this and max said it was his sister’s
y/n: so i was like oh calm
y/n: bc victoria would come over sometimes
y/n: then i found out he cheated the first time
princess george: fIRST TIME????
angel carmen: WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIRST TIME
chili!: HE CHEATED MORE THAN ONCE???
chal eclair: hOLD ON YALL IM TRYNA UNDERSTAND
y/n: yes 😭
y/n: caught him on a call with her being all lovey and shit and we got in a fight bc of it
y/n: and i let it slide bc i thought he would learn + he cried his eyes out
alabono: how is HE gonna cry for cheating 😟
honey badger: WAIT
my baby lando: fuck was he crying for ???
chal eclair: he cried ??
babygirl alex: literally what
honey badger: WAIT YALL
honey badger: Y/N YOU LET THAT SLIDE ???
y/n: I USED TO LOVE HIM OKAY.
chili!: i just sighed so hard man
y/n: hold on there’s more
PIERRE GASLYYYY: MORE ??
PIERRE GASLYYYY: y/n…
my baby lando: bae what is this…
chal eclair: what else did he do then damn
y/n: the bitch was in my bed
babygirl alex: WOAHHHHHHHH
angel carmen: now hold on, hOLD ON NOW.
girlfriend kika: i screamed
honey badger: ouuuuu it’s gonna get violent rq
y/n: i found them cuddled up, clearly post fuck, in my bed, listening to my music and guess what
chili!: BRO 😭
chal eclair: WHAT OH MY GOD
my baby lando: ¿¿¿
y/n: HER KID WALKS IN BEHIND ME EATING MYYYYYYY ICE CREAM
y/n: IN MYYYYY HOUSE
princess george: see this is where i personally would’ve swung at everyone
PIERRE GASLYYYY: LISTENING TO YOUR MUSIC???????
wifey lily: NAHHHHHH MAN
angel carmen: i’m not even kidding
angel carmen: i’m deadass speechless
y/n: i need all of u to come to my house immediately
y/n: there’s so much more i need to tell y’all
chili!: Y/N.
chili!: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THERES MORE.
y/n: ….
chal eclair: answer the question bae 🤍
y/n: well
my baby lando: oh my god
y/n
♡ liked by lilymhe, landonorris, and 11,340,293 more.
y/n i could see right through it
1,302,293 comments.
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y/n added to their story!
#f1#f1 fanfiction#f1 smau#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#carlos sainz x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#pierre gasly x reader#lewis hamilton x reader#daniel ricciardo x reader#george russell x reader#max verstappen x reader
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ima need to see some Theodore Nott x fem!reader smut where he finds out he likes being sub for only his girlfriend, please and thanks. this is so bad but make him gag on her fingers, i beg of you.
So Needy
Theodore Nott x F!Reader
Warnings: Sub!Theo, Dom!Reader, oral(both male and female), I guess a tad of orgasm control, cussing.
18+ Minors DNI!
You have no idea just how much I love this ask. I was about to put the finger gagging thing in a sub Draco one, but decided against it. I have soooooo many thoughts on sub Theo. But for now, I’ll just do the first time he lets you dom him.
He was a little hesitant to let you take control, but his reason was that he didn’t want you to think any less of him. He didn’t want you thinking he was weak or pathetic.
But he was just so tired. And you were so so needy. And he likes taking care of you.
He was lying on his bed with you straddling him, grinding down on him for a little friction, a little relief. He had to admit, the sight of you on top of him was something he always loved. But you were a little hesitant to ride him before now. Now you were craving his dick in you. But you knew he was tired. He had just gotten back from a grueling quidditch practice. But he also just showered and smelled so good. And the way you felt his dick strain against his sweatpants as you were grinding on him felt so good.
“You know I wanna take care of you, mi amore.” He said, rubbing his hands on your thighs, your bare thighs, under your skirt.
“I wanna ride you.” You said, putting your palms on his chest for more leverage to keep grinding on him.
“Are you sure?” He asked, but he could see your blown out pupils and the way you were breathing.
“Yes.” You answer quickly.
“Alright, principessa, if you really want to.” He nodded slightly and you scrambled to get off of him quickly.
You quickly tugged off his sweatpants and underwear, and kneeled between his legs. He was already so hard from your grinding. You took his cock in your hand and leaned down, spitting on his cock and using your hand to spread it down the length of his dick. You teased his tip and he let out a soft groan. That groan went straight to your core and you moaned in return. You took him in your mouth now, slowly, oh so slowly and he threw his head back into the pillows.
“Your mouth is so perfect.” He said before looking back at you. He really did want to grip your hair and guide you, but he also loved the way you teased him. It drove him crazy. So he grabbed at the sheets instead. You looked up at him and it nearly killed him. He watched as you trailed your tongue along the bottom of his shaft and that sight alone could make him cum. He’s definitely remembering that the next time you can’t help him out. He was biting at his lip as he watched you, moaning desperately as you took him back into your mouth.
But that only lasted a few more moments before you had an idea and stood up, pulling off your panties. He watched you as you climbed back onto the bed, only this time you moved to straddle his face. His face was covered by your skirt, but he didn’t care. His mouth was on your pussy instantly, moving his hands to hold your hips. You moaned as you left him lapping at your pussy desperately. Almost like he was the one who started this all.
“God, Theo, you’re so good for me.” You said, holding onto the headboard. He moaned into you in response. He seemed to like that. A lot. “You’re such a good boy for me.” You said before reaching down and moving your skirt a bit to hold onto his hair. You started riding his face, moving your hips to rub your pussy on his tongue. He was moaning and groaning so loud now, even louder than you, like this is what he lived for. “That’s it, baby, just keep doing that for me.” You said, throwing your head back as you moaned. His face was still hidden by your skirt, but if you could see him, you could see just how fucked out and pussy drunk he was.
Your orgasm came faster than expected. You trembled and cried out above him and he just stayed there, holding you up as he helped you ride out your high.
You moved off of his face and now you could see just how fucked out he was. Face red, pupils blown, lips and chin all wet from you, chest heaving as he watched you strip fully before coming back to the bed, kneeling beside him.
“You wanna cum now, baby?” You asked him, running a hand through his hair as he nodded. “No. I need your words. What do you want?” You asked and reached your hand to stroke at his cock.
He closed his eyes for a second, groaning softly before looking at you again. “I wanna cum in you, cara mia.” He said, and you could feel him trying to thrust into your hand for more friction.
“Beg.” It was a simple command. But you had no idea where this came from. You’d never done this before. But it was amazing. Seeing your hot, strong, and desperate boyfriend begging for you and letting you do whatever you wanted with him. He was hesitating, so you moved your hand from his cock and he whimpered. That fucking whimper.
“I need to cum in you so bad, principessa, please. Please fuck me.” He said, he looked so embarrassed. But it seemed his neediness outweighed it.
“So fucking needy.” You said and moved to straddle him, positioning him at your entrance. “And here you were, complaining about how tired you were.” You teased him before starting to sink down on him, moaning at the feeling. He moaned as well, grabbing at the sheets again so he wouldn’t touch you. He just wanted to see you ride him, take care of him, more than anything else in the world at this moment. You both moaned once he was fully inside you, taking a moment to adjust to his cock.
Once you started to move, he really didn’t hold back any sounds. All the moans, groans, whimpers, whines, curses, compliments. They all came out of his mouth as he watched your pussy taking his cock over and over. He couldn’t look away.
“You’re talking so much, amore mio. What’s got you so loud?” You said in a bit of a teasing tone.
“You feel so good, so tight, so warm.” He said, moaning again as you put your hands on his chest to start grinding, making his dick hit that spot inside you that could make you cum so hard you’ll scream.
“How about we put that mouth to use then.” You said and brought one hand up to his mouth, shoving two fingers in it. He was moaning around them now, licking and sucking away. “That’s my good boy.” You said and he rolled his eyes back, groaning. “You love being so good for me, don’t you?” You ask him and he moaned in response with the smallest nod. “You wanna be a good boy and fill me up?” He moaned and nodded again in response. “Ask me for it then.” You said and he groaned against your fingers. “You gotta ask.” He opened his mouth and was moaning, you could tell he was trying to talk, but your fingers were stopping him. “You’re trying so hard. You’re doing such a good job.” He whined and you smiled. “I wanna feel you cum inside, baby.” You said and he nodded slightly again, going back to wrapping his pretty lips around your fingers.
You kept grinding on him, curses and praises leaving your mouth as his cock fit that spot over and over until you came again, trembling and cursing. He was right behind you, the feeling of your pussy cumming on him sending him over the edge, and he was filling you with his cum until it was spilling out of you.
As you both caught your breath, he leaned his head back onto the pillows, pulling off your fingers as he stared up at you.
“That was so fucking hot, cara mia.” He said, rubbing his hands soothingly on your hips and thighs. “You’re so hot when you’re in charge like that.”
“I have no idea what came over me.” You admit, still breathing heavily.
“I hope it comes over you more.”
#theodore nott#thedore nott x reader#theodore nott smut#theodore nott x reader smut#slytherin boys smut#slytherin boys#slytherin boys x reader
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Yeah, BOO!! Twst men kinks and shit idk
another writers block blurb LMAO
My one coworker bought me ice cream in exchange for a shenhe smut so I'm trying to get done the floyd smut im working on so I can get that to her </3 here's some filler so you guys don't go starving waiting for content
Cw!!! Fem reader, so much filth
NO ORTHO.
Two disclaimers this time: SOME OF THESE MY INCLUDE SAM AND CREWEL, WHEN THEY DO, READER IS NOT YUU FOR THEM. also not proofread teehee
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Loves doing it in public. The fear of you guys getting caught while also having everyone know that you're his turns him on to no extent. He'll be thrusting into you at such a high speed, hand over you mouth as he whispers things in your ear, "someone may hear us, you may wanna keep it down." He says that with the CHEEKIEST grin on his face, he KNOWS how much you're struggling 😭😭
♧Cater, lilia, leona, rook(?), floyd, jade, Sam(would do it in his store)♧
Really like soft, sensual sex. Views it more as "love making", as he puts it. Will be rough if you want him to, but would never hit you. It may be hard for him to be rough at first, give him time. But back to the love making thing, he just can't get enough of you. He loves missionary because he can see all of you, having you in such a vulnerable position and having you let him do this to you makes him feel so trusted. He'll be going at a fast enough pace. Telling you how much he loves you, how much he wants you and how he wishes he could stay like this forever. Seriously the bestest men ever.
♧trey, malleus, silver, azul, riddle, jamil, kalim, jack, deuce,♧
So in love with you he'd try anything you want. Wanna tie him up? He's okay with that. Blindfolds? Who needs to see anyway. Wanna piss in his mouth? He thinks about it for a minute, but decides he'd gladly be your trashcan. In a way, all he wants to do is please you, he wants you to pleasure yourself on him so bad he'd do anything for that to become a reality.
♧kalim, sebek, malleus, ROOK, ruggie(only if you give him donuts), deuce, riddle, azul♧
Possessive sex x10. Would see you with another man and would get so anxious you may leave him. Too much of a baby back bitch to talk to you directly about it so he takes his frustration out by fucking you really hard. Says he's sorry later and tries to talk about it later but he's too shy.
♧just idia♧
SOOOOOO into breeding. Literally so inlove with how his cum drips put of you once he's done. Can't wait until you guys are older that way you guys can actually make a family. Seriously in love with the mating press position and hearing his balls slap on your ass when he's fucking you so hard.
♧malleus, leona, rook, vil, trey, cater, jack, crewel, azul, jade, floyd, jamilly willy♧
Wouldn't mind fucking you infront of a crowd. Not the same as fucking you in public, I mean like ACTUALLY fucking you in front of a crowd. Having hundreds of people watch the two of you express your love to eachother turns him on, he'd really like to do it but wouldn't wanna overstep your boundaries.
♧malleus, kalim, vil, leona, lilia but specifically general lilia♧
Really loves foreplay and can get off just by mouth fucking you. It turns him on knowing how easily you can get overstimulated from his mouth or fingers. He never expects anything in return, and he usually does it after you have a bad day (with consent ofc) so you can unwind more easily. Always runs a nice warm bath after <3
♧malleus (does want something in return sometimes but would never force you), trey, cater, ace, deuce, leona, silver floyd, jamil, rook♧
Kind of on the same page as the last one, LOVES having you sit on his face. Holds you down by your thighs and eats you out for hours on end. Definitely the type of guy to grab you by your waist, one hand rubbing your clit as he bounces you up and down on his tongue. Looks cutely fucked out when he's done.
♧ughhhhhh everyone bc yes <3♧
Uses lots of pet names during sex, will call you things like "darling","beloved","princess", idk may call you schnookums. Type of guy to call you all of these in one breath.
♧leona, rook, vil, floyd, lilia♧
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~♧♧~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/n: might make a part two idk lololilol
#twisted wonderland#twst#twisted wonderland smut#twst smut#jamil viper#divus crewel#jade leech#lilia vanrouge#malleus draconia#rook hunt#twst x reader#vil shoenheit#vil shoenheit smut#epel felmier#epel smut#rook smut#jamil viper smut#jade leech smut#lilia smut#malleus x reader smut#malleus smut#divus smut#twst sam smut#floyd leech#floyd leech smut#azul ashengrotto#azul smut#twst azul#idia shroud#idia shroud smut
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*Shuffles in* HEWWWOO
I GOT ANOTHER (I'm so sorry) Alastor x Chubby!Reader 😔
(This might seem weird and so so strange but I swear it's not perverted and shouldn't be seen as such)
Magic is in hell, yeah??? SOOO what if Alastor tries to his dark voodoo sprinkle magic but IT BACKFIRES or something while he tries to fix that one wall in the show that keeps getting destroyed or helping charlie with something 🤔 and he turns into A KID BUT A HUMAN KID BACK WHEN HE WAS ALIVE and everyone kinda justs bombards him with questions and comments (not Husk in the background smirking because Alastor is an asshole to him so he's planning all the ways he can get his revenge, Charlie freaking out, Angel cooing at his cuteness, vaggie cursing up a storm, niffty sulking because he's no longer a bad boy) and I would imagine that child Alastor is kinda like '🥹who are all these weird creatures, where am I, where's momma' ...😭 chaos ensues, Alastor just wants his momma so he's crying as loud as he can because 'I'm lost' (HES A MOMMAS BOY AND I FEEL AS A KID HE WAS INNOCENT AND SWEET) the hazbin hotel residents immediately try to calm him down but he only gets louder THEN LIKE AN ACTUAL ANGEL here comes reader back from shopping or waking up and is welcomed to all the commotion, and after making her presence known Alastor just sniffles at her, tears streaming down his face 😢 reader immediately going to tiny Alastor to help and tiny Alastor who thinks reader is a fairy? Angel?? Goddess?? Some warm welcoming figure that he's gonna marry (like playground kids sometimes do??) so he's calming when she goes to help him,' he's been kidnapped' looking back at the hazbin gang, more tears coming, reader immediately going into caretaker mode and cares for him throughout the whole ordeal, while Alastor gushes about his momma or talkinging readers ear off about anything and everything (Charlie figures out it only lasts all day somehow) so Alastor sticks with reader and helps her with her duties at the hotel, never leaving her side, at the end of the day before he goes to bed
Angel teases tiny Alastor about reader being his mommy que reader blushing and sputtering from reader only for Alastor to turn to Angel with disgust and determination on his face to proudly announce to Angel that reader is gonna be HIS WIFE INSTEAD only for husk to scoff in the background and says something about Alastor being a smiley freak or something for Alastor to doubt that reader will marry him, that thats never gonna happen, only for reader to kiss Alastor on the forehead and declare that that doesn't change anything because Alastor has always owned her heart, something sweet???? To reassure kid Alastor then reader takes Alastor to his hotel room to sleep, to later on in the night to sneak into readers bed because 'momma cuddles with me till I fall asleep', sleepy cuddles, soothing humming for child Alastor to ask before he falls asleep if reader really will marry him when he's older and Reader half asleep herself and full of love for the man he'll grow to be says yes, but to take her out first or get her flowers ya know???
When reader wakes the next morning to flowers surrounding her bed and her favorite breakfast presented to her with a bashful adult Alastor saying he's kept his side of the deal now its readers turn, readers faces lights up and smiles big enough to hurt her cheeks and they date and get married ☺️😣
(I'm sorry it's a weird request and soooooo fucking long but .....please..)
A/N I literally love you and your requests. Hi. Also I am making her a rabbit again because I feel like that would be something that a kid would not find scary and would be very excited about as a demon form.
Mishap of Magic (Alastor x Chubby!Rabbit Demon!Reader)
Pairing: Alastor x Reader
Warnings: Nothing except that Alastor is a little kid for most of this fic.
Word Count: 3,463
Master Lists:
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Hazbin Hotel Master List
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It wasn't the first time it had happened to Alastor but, it had certainly been a while since the last time he'd had to deal with such an issue. Magic was a fickle thing, obstinate at the best of times. He had found a certain agreement of sorts with the metaphysical but, it still backfired on occasion.
Alastor had been trying to fix the wall -- the fucking wall. Somehow, every time there was an issue with the hotel, this same exterior wall was involved. It was inconceivable and deeply irritating, especially now that it had been the trigger. Alastor could feel the world shifting, feel himself shrinking and then, nothing.
"Uh, what the fuck?" Vaggie broke the silence, stress seeping into her voice.
"Oh my gosh! Vaggie!" Charlie exclaimed, grabbing onto her girlfriend's arm and shaking it violently, a bright smile lighting up her face, "He looks like a little kid!"
"Damn," Angel laughed lightly, "who woulda guessed the strawberry pimp was actually a cute at one point in time."
Alastor looked around in confusion. A tangle of limbs, wild creatures and bright colors. Husk smirked, trying to hold a derisive laugh at bay as he placed a bottle on the shelf of the bar.
"Charlie," Vaggie sighed, turning to her overexcited partner who at the moment was cooing over how small Alastor had become, "you do realize we have to change him back."
All the joy fell from Charlie's face in an instant.
"Hey, uh, little guy?" Pentious began, awkwardly advancing towards Alastor, "You wouldn't happen to know how we can fix this? I-"
"Stay away!"
His voice was small and shrill, panicked as Alastor backed away from Pentious' advancement. Sir Pentious stopped in his tracks and Charlie let go of Vaggie, coming up beside him.
"It's okay, Alastor." she said in a tone of voice that was trying very hard to be everything except for panicked, which is what it actually was, "He's not going to attack you.''
It became evident almost immediately that that had in fact been the wrong thing for Charlie to say. Alastor's eyes filled with sudden tears.
"Where... stay away from me!" he exclaimed, "My momma told me not to talk to strangers."
Charlie and Vaggie exchanged a glance and Charlie sighed.
"We're not strangers, we're you're friends. I am Charlie, that is Vaggie, Husk is in the bar, this is Angel, and here is Sir Pentious. Remember?"
"I don't know any of you scary things!" Alastor exclaimed, tears beginning to drip from his wide, wet eyes and roll down his cheeks, "I... I want my mommy. Where is my mommy?"
"Oh! No no no!" Charlie exclaimed, trying to reach a comforting hand out to the child but he backed away again.
"Where is my mama!" he yelled, now absolutely sobbing, "I want... I want..."
He sniffled, trying to catch his breath as he looked frantically around the room. Charlie turned to Vaggie, pulling at her hair.
"What do we do!" she asked her girlfriend who shrugged, as much at a loss of how to handle the situation as her partner was.
"Man, if I 'da known he was this cute and... and frail under that whole persona all along." Angel sighed wistfully, crossing his lower set of arms.
This time Husk really couldn't stop the laugh that left him. Before anyone could ask what was so funny, if he knew anything about what was going on, the doors to the hotel opened and Y/n waltzed in. Her arms were laden with bags and she wore a bright, sunny smile.
"Al!" she called out, closing the door gently behind her, "You'll never guess what I found at the market!"
"Um, Y/n?" Sir Pentious tentatively began, taking a step towards her as she turned to the group.
"Fresh strawberries!"
As her eyes fell on the scene before her, the smile fell from her face, replaced with an expression of alarm. The bags fell from her grasp, spilling groceries across the floor as she rushed to the young Alastor's side. His mouth was slightly open, tears still falling openly from his eyes, as she crouched before him. The white skirt of her dress pooled gently on the floor around her feet as she raised a handkerchief to his face, gently patting his cheeks with its edge.
"What on earth is going on?" she asked softly, her voice laced delicately with concern.
"Well, Alastor was fixing the wall and then he just... poofed? I don't know! We don't know what happened and we don't know how to fix it and he keeps asking for his mom and... and... and..." Charlie trailed off, looking around helplessly at her companions.
Y/n's gentle gaze never once left Alastor's. She smiled softly at him.
"I see, are you lost?"
Alastor nodded weakly, sniffing once.
"And there are all these big scary monsters around!" he told her.
"Ah, I see." Y/n sagely replied, "Am I a big scary monster too?"
She didn't mean it in any way except as an attempt to assess the situation further. Alastor's cheeks flushed slightly pink as he shook his head, looking away bashfully. Y/n smiled softly, turning his face gently back to her.
"Would you like to stay with me until we can figure out what is going on?"
The tears had stopped now and Alastor nodded enthusiastically. Y/n dabbed the last remains of saltwater from his cheeks, slipping the handkerchief into her pocket. In a single, swift and practiced motion, Y/n lifted Alastor up, resting him on her hip. His hands immediately went to one of her floppy ears, running his little hands over it in awe.
"Bunny." he stated and Y/n nodded.
"Yeah, I am just like a bunny, okay?"
Alastor met her eyes.
"You're pretty like a bunny too!" he announced proudly and Y/n felt her cheeks grow slightly warm.
"Ah, what a little charmer." she noted, tapping his nose lightly and Alastor giggled.
"How are you so good with him?" Angel asked and Y/n turned towards him as Alastor continued to fiddle with her ear.
"What do you mean?"
"He just kept crying when we were trying to help."
Y/n shrugged slightly.
"I was the oldest growing up. I always had to take care of my baby cousins and stuff like that. Besides, little kids are the sweetest a this age!"
Angel's eyes flicked between Y/n and her enthusiasm and little Alastor who seemed absolutely awestruck in her arms.
"Yeah." he scoffed, "That is all it is."
"Now, Alastor." Y/n hummed, turning to face the boy who immediately met her gaze, his earnest air only endearing her to him further, "I have some work to get done, I cook here at the hotel. Do you want to come help me?"
"Uh-huh." he nodded vigorously and Y/n smiled.
"Well, that's a relief cause, you know, I could really use your help."
"Really?"
Alastor's eyes lit up at the notion, that she needed him, that it wasn't just an empty offer.
"Yeah I could." Y/n confirmed, "How else am I supposed to know if the fruit is ripe or the meal is good if you don't try it for me first?"
Alastor giggled and Y/n turned, glancing at her bags still splayed out on the floor.
"Pen, can you help me with these?"
Immediately, the snake demon agreed, grabbing the fallen produce and placing it back into the bags before hoisting them onto his shoulders. The trio had made it about halfway across the lobby to the service door that lead to the kitchen when Y/n paused, looking back at Charlie over her shoulder.
"Charls, I'd quiz Husk about this if I were you." she advised gently, "He seems far too pleased at the situation to not know exactly what is going on."
The day sped by in a whirl of something akin to unbound joy. It was a peaceful reminder of the person she had been to take care of Alastor like this. They had always been close, he didn't own her soul or anything but Y/n and Alastor had been friends for years. When he had asked her to come help out at the hotel, she had jumped at the opportunity to spend time with him after so many years.
Despite their closeness, neither knew all too much about the other. There was always an unspoken barrier of sorts in the way. For Y/n, it was a mild attraction to the man. He was a moralist at heart with a strict code completely of his own he always stuck to and Y/n admired him for that. She wasn't sure what the disconnect was on Alastor's side but, in the moment, she didn't care. She had learned more about the man through this strange experience than she had ever hoped to, it was a gift.
It was his capacity for love, she realized as she lead him into the lobby to say his goodnights. Y/n had never realized how deeply Alastor cared about the people in his life or the world around him, he hid it so well as an adult. Child Alastor had no pretenses, he was completely and entirely himself with nothing held back. In a weird way, it almost strengthened the feelings she had for him as an adult, being allowed to experience him like this.
All day, he had trailed after her, doing his absolute best to complete every task she assigned him and talking all the while about how much he loved his home and his mom. It was sweet, it was endearing, it was verging on dangerous. Y/n tried not to think about it as she held his small hand.
The pair came to a stop by the bar where the rest of the hotel's residents were sharing a drink. Charlie had found out earlier from Husk that this change in Alastor should only last a day and Y/n found herself nearly morose at the idea. She loved Alastor as a man, respected him, but he lost that openness he had had as a child, she realized. It was a shame that come sunrise, she wouldn't be able to have such open communication with the man again, a shame that the only open communication she would ever have with him was when he was a child incapable of adult though. Y/n squeezed his hand gently.
"Let's say goodnight, okay?"
Alastor looked doubtfully up at Y/n, still put off by the rest of the gang.
"They're your friends, I promise. Would I lie to you?"
Alastor thought it over before shaking his head slightly. He turned to face the group.
"Good night." he announced, his voice trembling just the slightest bit.
"Good job." Y/n hummed and Alastor smiled in pride.
"Damn, is this how you guys always are?" Angel laughed, taking a sip from his drink, evidently already intoxicated, "I mean, I knew you were friends before you came here, but are you always such a mom to him?"
"No!" Y/n indignantly replied, her cheeks flushing slightly pink, "We're just friends."
"Nah," Angel smirked after a moment, "you're totally his mom."
Y/n opened her mouth to reply when Alastor let go of her hand, stepping in front of her with his hands on his hips.
"Y/n is not my mom." he insisted to Angel who raised his eyebrows.
"Yeah, then what is she?" the spider demon asked and Y/n glared at him.
"Y/n is the prettiest ever and when I grow up she's gonna be my wife!" Alastor proudly announced, "She is nice and gives the best hugs."
Angel and Husk both broke out into peals of laughter.
"Like you could land a girl like her." Husk scoffed.
"What do you mean?" Alastor asked, his words slurring slightly together from exhaustion.
"Hate to break it to you kid, but when you grow up, your creepy ass could never."
Alastor frowned deeply at this remark. He looked back at Y/n, his eyes bleeding helplessness. She felt her heart crack and crouched down beside him. Tucking his hair behind his ears, Y/n placed a soft kiss on his forehead.
"Don't listen to Husk." she smiled gently at him, "You have always had a place in my heart."
Alastor's face lit up at this and he turned back to Husk. Taking Y/n's hand back in his, he stuck his tongue out at the cat demon who rolled his eyes in response.
Once up in Alastor's room, Y/n tucked him in to bed and told him a story. Alastor's sleepy eyes struggled to stay open and when she moved to leave, it took some convincing to make him let go of her arm. With promises she would see him first thing in the morning, Y/n let the door close gently behind her and let out a sigh. She had forgotten how much work kids could be, she was exhausted.
She had barley made it back to her room, barley crawled into bed, when there was a soft knock at her door. With a sigh, she threw the covers from her legs and walked to the door, opening it with an irritated expression which softened the moment she saw who stood on the other side.
"What's going on, honey?" she asked, crouching down to Alastor's level and cupping his cheek gently in her soft hand.
"I can't sleep." he bashfully replied, "Momma cuddles me until I fall asleep."
"I see." Y/n hummed, getting to her feet and stepping to the side so he could enter.
Alastor looked up at Y/n in doubt and she gave him a nod of encouragement. It was all he needed to rush into the room and jump up onto her bed, snuggling down into the pile of covers. Y/n watched him for a moment, smiling softly, before closing the door and joining him.
Immediately, Alastor wrapped himself in her arms, snuggling into her chest. Y/n was frozen for a moment in indecision, but tiredness prevailed and in her sleepy state, all that mattered was that it was Alastor. Her oldest friend, the one who had never failed her. She pulled him close, resting her chin on his head.
"You're so comfy." Alastor mumbled through a yawn and Y/n chuckled.
"Its because I know how to enjoy all that life and the afterlife has to offer." she hummed softly in response, her breath tickling the top of his head, "Most men would prefer someone who looks different than me but, luckily I am not existing for men."
The pair fell silent for a moment. Sleep pulled at the edges of Y/n's ears, dragging her eyelids down. She hummed a gentle tune, a lullaby she had long since forgotten the words to but that she could hear her own mother in.
"Well, those men are stupid." Alastor grumpily replied, maneuvering himself around in Y/n's grasp so he faced her, "You look like a fairy."
Y/n cracked her eyes open, ruffling Alastor's hair slightly.
"Why thank you, I do try." she smiled.
"And I meant it."
"Meant what?"
Her eyes were closed again, her voice dreamy.
"When I grow up, I am going to marry you."
"Oh, are you now."
"Yes." Alastor insisted, and in his insistence, through the shrillness of his childlike tone, Y/n could hear him as an adult, as the man she knew, "When I am grown up, I am going to ask you to marry me. Will... you would say yes, right?"
Who would have guessed, the feared and decisive Radio Demon could doubt. Y/n smiled.
"Well, you can't just ask a girl to marry you right off the bat."
"You can't?"
There was a genuine confusion in his voice, Y/n had expected nothing less from a child. Still, she couldn't help but view him through the lens of his adult self in this moment. Maybe it was the exhaustion, the proximity, the dark, how lovely he was when he had nothing to protect himself from, when he did not yet know of the filter he needed in order to conduct himself in the world and not get fucked over by it.
"Nope." Y/n shook her head slightly.
"Why not?"
"Well, you have to court her first."
"Court her?"
"You know, ask her on dates, buy her flowers: woo her."
"Well then I will do that too."
The last thing Y/n remembered before the world gave way to sleep was Alastor asking what her favorite flower was.
"Hyacinths." she had told him, "The purple ones. But don't you dare buy them for me unless you have something to apologize for because they ask for forgiveness. Instead, buy me peonies, they are for new love."
The heat of Hell's false sun was what woke her. Y/n grumbled, rolling over in bed, the course of the day before re-materializing in her head. She smiled softly at the memory, a certain sadness creeping in at the fact that she would probably never be that vulnerable with the man again.
A faint, almost peppery smell reached her nose and Y/n cracked her eyes open. Around her was a world of soft pinks and whites, cascading petals and the most beautiful display of protracted death. She gasped slightly, sitting up in bed. Looking around her small room, she realized it was filled to the brim with peonies in different stages of life. As her eyes traveled to the foot of the bed, she found Alastor standing there, his cheeks flushed and a tray in his hands. On the tray was a stack of pancakes, all cut into the shape of flowers to match. Y/n laughed lightly, smiling up at him from where she sat in bed.
"What's all this?" she asked and his cheeks grew brighter still.
Alastor looked away, clearing his throat.
"I'm keeping my side of the deal."
Y/n searched her mind, looking for any trace of what he could possibly mean.
"The deal... oh!" it suddenly hit her, the sleep riddled conversation they had had the night before.
Her cheeks flushed pink, mirroring his and picking up the colors of the flowers he had surrounded her with. She smiled brightly at Alastor, pulling herself from the bed. The hem of her nightgown rippled gently against her legs as she approached him. With grace, she plucked a strawberry from the plate and popped it in her mouth.
"Are you asking me out on a date?" she grinned coyly up at him.
Alastor rolled his eyes.
"I'm... doing the things so... just..."
"Alastor."
"What?"
His discomfort was palpable, unfamiliar. She reveled in it.
"Do you actually like me?"
"I thought I told you. You know, when-"
"I thought that was just mindless chatter." she interrupted, "Little kids are always saying stuff like that."
"Well, I wasn't."
Y/n laughed and Alastor placed the tray carefully on the edge of the bed, turning back to her.
"Did I misinterpret what you said?"
"Not at all." Y/n said, taking a step closer to him.
"So you will marry me?"
She laughed again, she couldn't help herself. Y/n could tell that if Alastor was able to do anything but smile, he would be scowling at her reaction to his sincere question.
"Ask me out on a date."
"Bu-"
"Ask me out on a date!" she insisted and Alastor sighed.
"Fine. Would you..." he took a deep breath, nerves running wild, "would you like to go out... with me..."
"Oh wow, so confident." Y/n teased.
"Y/n." Alastor warned and her smile widened even further.
"Yes, Al. Yes, Alastor, I would love to go out on a date with you."
"Wait, really?"
"Yes." Y/n nodded, her hands clasped behind her back as she swayed slightly on her feet, "I will."
Before she could register what was happening, Y/n was in Alastor's arms. He lifted her off her feet, spinning her around.
"Wait!" she shrieked, "Alastor, put me down! Aren't I too heavy?"
"Not at all, my dear." he hummed, holding her close now.
"Still, put me down!" she bashfully requested and at last he conceded, her feet finding the cool of the wood once again, "How long have you been... you know."
"That, my dear, is for me to know."
He tapped her nose gently and one of her ears shifted in response. Y/n crossed her arms.
"Not fair." she whined.
"Eat." Alastor commanded, unable to be moved on this point, "Meet me downstairs after. We're going out."
----
Tags:
@willowshadenox @i-love-jafar @elfyeet
@reader3
#hazbin hotel#x reader#hazbin alastor#alastor#hazbin hotel alastor#x reader fics#alastor hazbin hotel#alastor the radio demon#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel x y/n#alastor hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel fanfiction#hazbin hotel x you#hazbin hotel oneshots#hazbin hotel one shot#fluff#x chubby!reader#x chubby reader#chubby!reader#hazbin hotel x chubby!reader#alastor x reader#alastor fanfiction#alastor oneshot#alastor one shot#alastor x y/n#alastor x you#alastor x chubby!reader#the radio demon x reader#the radio demon#radio demon
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thoughts on tales of the abyss so far: i cant do this again. im not strong enough.
#.text#tales#'wow cool character!' AND THEN THEYRE SOMETHING LESS THAN HUMAN AND HAVE REPLACED THE ORIGINAL 'THEM'#whats wrong with me.#anyway i think its soooooo funny that luke fuckin. needed who basically RAISED HIM to betray him. to find out he isnt the real luke.#AND blow up a city. to get his act together. thats sooo fucking FUNNYYYY#ive loved luke since the beginning. he is an awful person. there is very little good about him. and its so funny#i think hes getting better now. or worse! who knows!#theres a darkness in him.#& also. i dont wanna get attached to asch. i donttt i DONTTTT. i dont think hes a good guy the entire game i rlly dont#i dont wanna get attached to him if he dies 💔💔💔💔 but asch and luke remind me of euden and nedrick. so ofc im already FUCKED#i hear this game fucks w people. as in. like. genuinely. every single post ive seen abt this game has been ppl crying abt it#yes thats why i decided to play the game. <3#also. .... asch isnt the only person in luke's head. like. right? thats. he only appeared AFTER choral castle.#so whos the other guy??????#hey. luke. come here.#i wont hurt you i promise.#btw. i love jade hes a fucking asshole.#literally there is nobody funnier than him. why is he so fucking funny.#i miss tear btw. and guy. i miss those 2 so much. bring them back NOW.#sigh. this game is gonna destroy me isnt it.#thats fine
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