#WHY DID THEY POST IT AT SUCH A LATE WEIRD HOUR. WHAT THE FUCK
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sonic movie 3 date release let’s GOOOOOOOOO
#WHY DID THEY POST IT AT SUCH A LATE WEIRD HOUR. WHAT THE FUCK#shadow the hedgehog#sonic the hedgehog#sonic#sth#sonic movie#my art#edit: i drew this so fast i forgot shadow's inhibitors or his eyeliner#sorry little pogchamp i failed you
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If Only You Knew
Pt 2
Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Reader
Summery: Y/n has the biggest crush on Matthew Sturniolo but Matt doesn’t know she exists until Y/n’s video goes viral and everyone tags him in it
Warnings: cussing
Y/n’s pov:
Me and my bestfriend Nia were hanging out in our shared apartment in LA just watching the sturniolo triplets on our tv. “Bro I’d give my left lung just for Matt sturniolo to be my boyfriend.” I said with a laugh. Nia looks at me like I’m stupid. “What??” I said in a higher pitch. “Girl are you blind?? Obviously the hottest triplet is Chris” she says pointing at the screen. “Okay let’s be real.. hottest triplet obviously goes to Nick” I said with a shrug, Nia’s now pointing at me jumping up. “Nah bro honestly man’s fineeee” she said jumping. We both fell over laughing.
“I’m gonna post a tik tok about the triplets.. well about Matt” I said opening my phone. “Girl what if he sees it? You gotta remember you have 80k on tik tok” Nia says with a short laugh. I froze, lowkey want him to see it but like what if he thinks I’m weird. “Wait, should I do it then?” I say with seriousness in my voice. “Hell yea cause what if he thinks your hot and y’all fall in love” she says pointing at me with raised eyebrows. “Nah he probably won’t even see it, let’s be honest” I say laughing while going through saved sounds looking for a good one too use.
I finally found one to use, I picked the sound that goes “oh my.. good looking boy”. This might start drama but who cares. I giggle at the thought of these girls coming at me for this. I pick a picture of me standing in front of the mirror with my hair down wearing black cargos with a pink cami top with lace and a pair of pink Jordan’s for the oh my part. For good looking boy I chose a picture of Matt where he was also wearing pink. I watched it over and over and damn we looked great together. “Nia look I made it!!” I said yelling even tho she was sitting right beside me.
“Girl why the fuck you yelling, im sitting not even 5 feet away from you” she says laughing. “Just look.” I said passing her my phone. She watches it with a smirk. “You’re gonna get so much hate for this” Nia says with a laugh. “Yeah but like who cares it’s just a joke” I said taking my phone back, “I’m even gonna tag him just for the hell of it” I said adding his name to the tag and making the caption “me and babydoll are goals 🤘🏼😓”. I pressed post and exited out of the app not even wanting to deal with it right just yet. We continue watching YouTube for about an hour before Nia speaks up. “Yo I’m low key hungry as hell” she said throwing her head back. “Nah bro same, let’s get dressed up and go to BOA and act like we’re influences!” I said smirking and getting up.
We both got dressed in cute dresses and sneakers, Nia had on a white body-con dress on and some black sneakers. I did the opposite so we could get some cute pictures. We went to the store first and some man came up to us and asked us why we were in dresses and we told them and they laughed, he ended up giving Nia his number. Nia felt bad because she can never say no to anyone but she was never gonna call him. Nia drove down the street to BOA blaring ‘idol’ by the weekend. I took pictures of her while she danced, she took a few of me too when we got to the restaurant and we was waiting for valet to park our car.
We finally get seated after a 30 minute wait. “So how’s work going” I asked Nia as we sipped on our drinks. “It’s going good, Carly’s still a bitch tho” she said laughing. “You need to like ask for a different shift cause she’s been up your ass lately for real” I said while grabbing the menu. “I can’t because I’d have less hours and we have to pay rent some how”she pointed out with a sigh. Our rent is out the door expensive, one of the only downsides of living in LA. “Yea you might need that money” I said laughing while looking at Nia, she looks behind me and her smile dropped slightly. “Don’t look behind you but the triplets are behind you” she said looking at them.
“Girl you best be lying right now” i spoke with a smile. “I’m being so deadass” Nia said looking back at me with a smirk. “Do I go give them my lung?” I said dropping my smile to hide my smirk. Nia just laughs and shakes her head. I get up to go to the bathroom which is behind me, I turn around and see that they’re not even 4 tables down from us. I can see Matt and I almost faint, he’s just so fine. As I’m walking past their table to get to the bathroom I look ahead of myself so it doesn’t look like I’m staring, but I can still see in my peripherals. I can see Matt and Nick look at me and Nick interrupts Chris and said “I don’t know who that is but I need to be her friend” with a laugh.
I didn’t hear anything else that was said cause I was already to far before anyone said anything else. I get done in the bathroom and walk back out making my way back to my table. I can now see Chris and Nick since they were sitting on the opposite side of table. I only looked for point five seconds before looking at Nia with a smirk and she just shakes her head. As I’m walking up to the triplets table to walk past, nick waved at me. I smile brightly and wave back, “hey! I just wanted to say you’re so pretty and I love your dress” Nick said when I got to their table I stop and look at him with a smile. “Thank you! I got it from a thrift shop, one of my best finds honestly”
“Dude I love thrift shopping, honestly favorite thing to do on my free time.” Nick said smirking. I tried so hard not to look at Matt but I could feel him looking at me, so I looked at him and smiled, him smirking back at me. “If I could live in a thrift store I would” I said looking back and nick while laughing. “Before you go just wanted you to know that you’re so pretty” Nick said smiling, “thank you, but my friend’s waiting on me” I said smiling and waving. Nick waved back and I made my way back to Nia who looked shocked. “Why were you just talking to the triplets, and why did Matt smirk at you” Nia said as soon as I got to the table. I just laughed as I pulled out my chair. “Nick stopped me to tell me that I was pretty and he liked my dress, then we started to talk about thrift shopping” I said while sipping on my drink.
“Deadass??” Nia said in a whisper yell. “Yes bro why would I lie” I giggled, “did you tell them you were a fan?” She said with a smirk. “Honestly no, talking to them felt like we’ve been best friends for so long.” I said smiling. “What if they seen that tik tok or what if they will see it and then they know you’re a fan” she said worriedly. “Then they see that I’m a fan, I didn’t do anything I just talked to them like people Nia” I said letting out a soft laugh. “Y/n, Matt keeps looking over here” Nia said with a smirk. I just shrug while eating my food. “He could be looking at anything dont overthink it” I said just brushing it off. “Have you looked at your tik tok?” Nia said finishing her food. “No, and I don’t plan on it, not until we get home at least.” I said with a sigh.
“Alright, you ready to go?” Nia said after paying and getting up. “Absolutely” I said giggle as we made our way out of the restaurant. We were outside and there was a line for valet so while we waited we did a little photo shoot. As I was taking pictures of Nia someone jumped in her photo. I looked up after taking the picture seeing Nia and Chris standing beside her. I laugh and shake my head. “Holy shit you scared me” Nia said holding her heart. Chris laughs and says “I’m sorry, I had to get in the picture” he said. “That’s okay, I’m a huge fan so it makes it even funnier” Nia said laughing.
Chris looks at me and back at Nia “y’all are fans?” He said smiling and continuing “I didn’t know you were a fan” he said pointing at me. I just laughed “I didn’t think it was important” I said shrugging he smiles nodding. “Well do you guys wanna-” Chris starts but gets interrupted by Matt and Nick walking over to us. “Chris you can’t just leave cause you didn’t wanna pay the bill” Matt said shaking his head. “Is he bothering you guys?” Nick said with a laugh. “No, they’re fans. And I may have purposely photobombed..” he said looking at Nia for her name.
“Oh I’m Nia and that’s Y/n” she said smiling. “Ah yes I purposely photobombed Nia” he said with a smirk. Nick looks at me with a confused face, “Y/n I DIDNT know you was a fan?” He questioned. I shrugged and said “I didn’t think it was important, and plus we started talking about thrift shopping and that’s almost all thoughts out of my head” I finished off with a laugh. “Okay valid, y’all in line for valet?” Nick said pointing behind him. “Yeah but the lines so long we decided to do a photoshoot” Nia said laughing
“Well do you guys want a picture with us?” Matt speaking to us for the first time tonight. “Hell yea” Nia said with a smile. “Okay guys huddle up, I’ll take the picture” I said with a smirk pulling out my phone, they stood together and smiled. I took like 15 pictures from when they started to get in position and when they were getting out so Nia could have multiple to choose from. “What about you Y/n, do you want one” Chris said looking at me. “No it’s okay” I said smiling. “Cmon I thought you was a fan” Matt said smirking. “Yeah go stand beside Matt” Nia said smirking, I glared at Nia my face going red.
“Oh so your a Matt girl I see” Nick say with a smirk, Matt looks over at me with a smirk. I cover my face saying “shut up dude”, “cmon the lines moving” Chris says with a laugh. I uncover my face and walk over to them standing beside Matt and putting my hands around his and Nicks back. Matt putting his hand on my hip. I smiled for the pictures and we pulled apart. “It was nice meeting you guys” Nia said smiling at them. “Likewise” Matt said smirking. Nia hugs them, while I look at the pictures. “Where my hug at?” Nick says laughing, I put my phone back in my purse laughing. I pull him into a hug smiling, “it was really nice meeting you, also I’m sorry for not telling you I’m a fan I just got sidetracked” I said with a small laugh.
“No you’re good, It happens a lot actually” Nick said with a laugh. “Nick move, she’s gotta hug us all” Chris said pushing Nick and pulling me into a hug. “Dude you need to talk more, you’re so quiet” Chris said pulling away from the hug. “My bad, I get quiet around a lot of people” i shrugged. “Nah I get that, but it’s us you don’t gotta be quiet around us” Chris said smiling. I just laughed and shook my head as Matt and Nia walked over to us. Matt pulling me into a hug. “It was nice meeting you, since you’re a Matt girl and all” he said smirking. I hide my face again with a quiet “shut up” dragging out the P. Nia laughs taking my hands off my face. Matt just smirks at me when he sees his car pull up. “Bye you guys!” Nick said waving.
We got in the car, and started driving before Nia screamed. “Holy fuck, what the hell was that??” I said holding my chest with a laugh. “We just met the fucking triplets” Nia yelled. I couldn’t help but laugh, “and it felt like we were just hanging out with friends, also Matt was staring you down” Nia continues. “No he wasn’t, also you outing me in front of him?? What the fuck was that about” I said pointing at her, she just shrugs and said “yall looked hot beside each other”. “Fuck, I forgot to give him my lung” I said laughing, “dude shut up, you barely even talked, there was no way in hell you would’ve said that shit in front of him” she said laughing. “Yea, no your right but still” I said with a laugh
We got home and immediately ran inside both of us going to our rooms to change out of the dresses. I changed into pajama shorts and sports bra, throwing on a fresh love hoodie on. I walk back into the living room throwing on a random Sam and Colby video waiting for Nia to get back. “Look how Matt was holding your hip in this” Nia yelled walking into the living room. “I know it’s fucking crazy bro, I was like.. are you tryna get in my pants right now?” I said laughing. She sits down beside me looking at the picture. I finally mustered up the confidence to look at the tik tok. “Holy shit.” I said looking at the 100k likes and 6 thousand comments.
“What?” Nia asked still looking at her phone. I just hand her my phone. “Holy shit is right” Nia said laughing. “Everyone and their mother is tagging Matt and surprisingly not many hate comments.” She said looking at the comments. “Oh shit, Nick commented” she said, “oh my, what did he say” I said looking at her with fear. “He said 20 minutes ago “so Nia was right, you’re a Matt girl” and then tagged Matt himself” she said smirking. I looked at her like I just saw a ghost. “That means he’s definitely seeing it” Nia continued. “Dude no, he’s not allowed to” I said laughing while Nia passed me back my phone.
Me and Nia ended up saying goodnight and going to our rooms to go to bed. I’m just lying in bed thinking about today. I can’t believe Nick saw the tik tok and even tagged Matt, he’s gonna think I’m so weird. I lay there for about 2 hours just thinking before I finally fell asleep.
How do we feel about this series so far 🧐🥳
Taglist: @lacysturniolo @mattsaq @junnniiieee07 @sturniolosreads @creamoncreamoncream2 @robins-scoop @blahbel668 @carolsturns1 @sturniolopepsi @luverboychris @hearts4chris @freshloveforthefit @stuniolobbg @novasturniolo03 @alexb5598 @sturnioloa @nicksmainbitch @icedchailatee @bunbunbl0gs

#matt sturniolo#chris sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#nick sturniolo#christopher sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#christopher owen sturniolo#sturniolo#nate doe#nathan doe#mattsturniolo x reader#matthew bernard sturniolo#mattsturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#LA
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The World is Amazing, Actually (Part 11 or 12, I lost count)
It's been awhile since I made a post about how fucking rad the world actually is, and amidst all the pandemics and climate change and economic troubles, I felt the need.
So:
Today’s Wild Place (The Earth is An Alien Planet):
The Danakil Depression, Ethiopia:
The Danakil Depression is probably the closest you'll ever be able to come to standing on the surface of Venus (without the crushing atmosphere, of course). Choking sulphuric acid and chlorine gases fill the air, while acid ponds and geysers pepper the landscape.
- Daisy Dobrijevic, published July 4, 2022
(BTW scientists recently discovered microbes capable of surviving in this toxic, extremely hot environment, which means...well, even if we kick the bucket, life will continue. There's something comforting in knowing that no matter how bad we screw up...life will go on.)
Today’s Incredible Feat of Engineering (look! at what! we made!):
Ouarzazate Solar Power Station in Morocco, which has gone solar in a big way.
(Which means they are making a huge contribution to helping fight toxic pollution, noise pollution, water use, land destruction, and carbon emissions. No really, there are charts. Reducing carbon emissions charts. Reducing irresponsible land use charts. Charts! Graphs! Data samples!)
Today’s Cool Life Form (the rare, the weird, the beautiful):
The Hispaniolan Solenodon.
A very rare, nocturnal, shrew-like creature that is one of the few mammals able to produce venom. Look at him! Look at his snout! He's just a little guy! He will bite you and run away on his back legs! He's rare, and endangered, but not gone! Not gone yet, bitches!
(Bonus: 10 Fun Facts About the Solenodon)
Today’s Bizarre Mystery (no, seriously, wtf?):
The Great Unconformity.
Hey, remember the Grand Canyon? Remember how we can see the passage of time through each layer, going back hundreds of thousands of years?
Did you know that apparently, on this massive record of earth's geological history, there's a chunk of time missing? Science has some hypotheses about how and why this happens (and yes, it's been found in more than one place), but they are really only hypotheses, and no one's really sure what happened to, oh, 1.6 billion years, give or take.
Today’s Act of Humanity (yes, we are worth the effort):
After fleeing a war, Ukrainians rush to help Mississippi tornado victims.
"They made the 16-hour drive south to donate bottled water and volunteer with aid workers, buoyed by the idea that they could help a community facing a similar struggle to theirs.
“We had to leave our home,” Pavliuk told The Washington Post in Ukrainian, in an interview interpreted by Hrebenyk. “And they don’t have a place to go back, either.”"
NEW CATEGORY:
Today's Good News About The Future (No, It's Not Too Late and Anyone Who Says Otherwise is Selling Something):
The Saiga Antelope, a species critical to the continued survival of huge swathes of grassland, that in 2003 was down to 6% of it's population and already extinct in it's natural habitat of China and Ukraine, has rebounded back to almost 2 million strong thanks to conservation efforts.
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#the world is amazing#planet earth#nature#good news#animals#danakil depression#Ouarzazate Solar Power Station#morocco#Hispaniolan Solenodon#little creature#saiga antelope#climate change#climate conservation#hope#ukraine immigrants#people are okay#mississippi tornado#look for the helpers#I'm so tired of being worried about the world#but it's not all bad
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— push, pull
pairing: chan x fem!reader
genre: smut, angst, fluff, established relationship.
content: 18+ minors dni. warnings below cut.
word count: 3.1k
a/n: specific is good, helps me figure out what you want! hope this is somewhat what you were looking for! i went maybe a bit heavy on the angst lmao also sorry for being so late, couldn’t post for a few weeks.
afab!reader. body image themes [general insecurity, no mention of weight]. unprotected intercourse [grinding, desperate!chan, creampie, overstimulation].
Your boyfriend was much clingier than you, physical touch was just how he expressed affection. You loved hugs and soft touches just as much as the next person, until you didn’t. There were times you couldn’t stand it. You’d spiralled a few weeks ago after a friend had sent you a terrible photo of yourself. Sometimes that was all it took. You’d throw yourself into your work to distract from the suffocating feeling of wanting to crawl out of your own skin. It would usually pass after a while, dissipating into a sort of neutral acceptance of the body you inhabited. But this one? You hadn’t had an episode this bad in a long time. Years.
Chan had hardly tried to touch you at all the past few days. It was such unusual behaviour it had snapped you out of the hyper focused haze you’d been in. The past few weeks had flown by—you'd been so focused on work and nothing else. You knew you’d been brushing him off and you hadn’t initiated sex at all, he had to have noticed—even if he hadn’t said anything.
You were attempting to make a meal—one way out of your skill level—before he got home from work. It wasn’t much of an apology, but you were embarrassed. Too embarrassed to just sit down and just admit why you’d been acting off. What would you say? ‘Sorry, I’ve been totally closed off and weird because I saw a bad photo of myself and instantly spiralled into such a deep pit, that the idea of anyone touching me makes my skin crawl.’ It made you feel ridiculous. You’re so deep in thought the sound of the front door unlocking makes you jump, spilling liquid from the measuring cup you’re carefully filling. You wash your hands quickly and rush out of the kitchen to see your boyfriend at the door, taking his shoes off.
“You’re home early.”
“Yeah,” he says, offering no explanation.
“I made dinner.”
He groans a little as he stands, a clear sign he’s had a rough day. “Alright, just gonna have a shower,” he says, slinking past you without his usual greeting kiss. You frown, then mindlessly you grab a towel so you can warm it for him in the dryer—like you always did.
By the time he’s done you’ve set up the table and laid way more food than two people were capable of eating. It had taken you hours. He dawdles into the room wearing sweatpants and a small towel around his neck, hair still dripping a little onto his bare skin. When his eyes land on the table he pauses. “You made all this?” he says, looking up at your face for the first time since he walked in the door.
“Mm, it might not be very good. I had a few mess ups,” you say before leaning over the table to set a vase down in the centre. The red rose reminded you of the bouquet he’d given you on your fourth date, it was huge—so big you hadn’t been able to see in front of you. He’d laughed as you’d attempted to peek around the flowers and then offered to hold it for you until you’d arrived at your front door. You’d spent the walk home working up the courage to ask him to come inside.
A warm hand at your waist makes you squirm, turning just in time to see Chan’s expression drop. He takes a small step back. You’ve brushed him off, again. Fuck. You open your mouth before pausing, unsure what to say. He walks to the other side of the table wordlessly, settling himself into his usual chair.
“Thank you,” he says, tone flat as he reaches to serve himself. You were fucking this up already. You walk around the table and take the utensils from him so you can serve him yourself. He leans back in the chair, putting up no protest. When you ask him what he wants, if that’s enough, if he’s sure he doesn’t want more—he makes monosyllabic responses. ‘Sure.’ ‘Yeah.’ ‘Mm.’
He eats silently and you wonder if maybe something bad happened at work, he was acting so unlike himself. It had to have been more than your bad mood affecting him. “Did you have a good day?” you ask, breaking the heavy silence finally.
He finishes his mouthful before answering. “Not really, to be honest. I’ve…been feeling a little uninspired.” Okay, he was struggling with his creative process. That would always upset him. Your shoulders lighten as the guilt lifts a little.
“Want me to take a listen?” you ask. He’d often ask you to listen to his tracks when he got stuck. You were never much help but he’d brighten up a little after, as if just your involvement was enough to lighten his load.
“Nah, don’t worry about it,” he mutters as he picks at his food. You slump a little, the guilt returning. This was definitely your fault. You’d done this and you didn’t even have a good explanation. He was never going to think of you the same again. You were petty and childish and ugly and so, so embarrassed. A soft sniffle snaps you out of your spiral. He’s hunched over even more now, hair falling over his eyes.
“Baby?” Was he…crying? He falls back against the back of the chair at your soft probing, hands covering his face. You stand abruptly, chair scraping against the floorboards. He sucks in a shaky breath as you round the table to crouch at his side. When you reach up to gently pull his hands from his face, he doesn’t resist, letting you get a clear look at the tears rolling down his cheeks. You drop his hands and quickly reach up to take his face in your hands, warm cheeks wet against your thumbs as you attempt to brush them away.
“Please—please don’t cry. Baby? Look at me.” He sniffles before his watery eyes meet yours. “Talk to me,” you prompt, feeling instantly guilty for asking from him what you’d failed to do yourself. You feel your eyes start to burn as you attempt to hold back your own tears. He doesn’t answer you, eyes dropping back to his lap. You stand before lowering yourself into his lap, edge of the table pressing lightly against your back.
He looks up at you again, his hands gripping the bottom of the chair. “Why did you do this?” he asks, voice shaky. Your heart drops, thinking he means the way you’ve been acting the past month. Then he clarifies, “It must have taken you hours, I don’t—I don’t understand.” Oh, the dinner.
“I-I love you. You do nice things for people you love.”
“You still love me?”
Oh, god. You’d fucked up so much worse than you’d imagined. “Why would you ask that? Of course I do, Of course I do, baby.”
“You won’t touch me. You won’t let me touch you.”
“I know, I know. I’m sorry. I-I fucked up. I’m so sorry. I’ve been…not well.”
His hands move to your hips as his brows pull together. “You’re sick?”
“No, I mean…my head. It’s silly. I should have just told you. I saw a photo, and I spiralled. I just feel so gross sometimes and when you touch me… I just—”
“You don’t like me touching you?”
“I do. I love you and I love how you’re always touching me. I just have had a bad few weeks, it’s not about you. I just…haven’t been feeling good about myself. I should’ve told you instead of pushing you away.” You lean forward to press yourself against his chest, his arms wrapping around you properly for the first time in weeks. “I’m sorry,” you mutter again.
“Can we…just stay like this for a bit?” he asks, arms tightening a little.
“Mm, as long as you want,” you whisper, reaching up to stroke the hair at the back of his head.
By the time he releases you, the food is mostly cold. You don’t leave his lap, each of you taking turns feeding each other a little of the food on his plate. He doesn’t say much, a small compliment on your cooking, a little small talk.
“Are you tired?” you ask, rubbing small circles into his upper back.
“Are you?”
“Mm.”
“Why don’t you shower while I clean up? I’ll be in soon,” he says, helping you off his lap so he can stand.
“I can help, it’ll be done quicker.”
“I’ve got it.”
You try not to let your worry show on your face. He was clearly still feeling down, the air felt thick with everything left unsaid. “Alright,” you mutter, pressing one quick kiss to his cheek before leaving the room.
You pull the covers up over your shoulders, anxiety building in your chest as the sound of his electric toothbrush stops. You couldn’t go to sleep with everything up in the air like this. You had to make sure he had no doubts about how you felt about him. He didn’t deserve this.
You quickly shut your eyes just as the bathroom door opens. Coward, you chastise yourself. The bed rocks as he climbs in next to you. Usually he’d wrap himself around you, lips pressed to the skin at your shoulder. Not now. Now he settles on his side of the bed, the gap between you feeling much greater than the few centimetres it was in reality.
You suck in a deep breath then open your eyes, rolling over to face him. You meet his eyes in the soft light, hoping the right words will magically come to you. They don’t. So you move instead, shuffling your body closer to his. When you press your lips to his softly, he doesn’t react, letting you kiss him but taking no active role. The anxiety in your chest transforms into panic. You push his shoulder so he’s on his back, climbing over him. You press your lips to his again, feeling frantic.
His arm wraps around you and then he’s sitting up, taking you with him. He pulls his lips from yours. “Stop,” he whispers, “Please.”
You lean back, chest heaving. He looks pained. “Did I hurt you?”
He looks up quickly, eyes flicking back and forth between yours—like he doesn’t understand your meaning. You consider your words. You’d meant just now but… of course you’d hurt him. You’d been hurting him for weeks.
“You don’t need to do this,” he says finally. “I don’t want this if it’s not what you want.”
“This?” you breathe, heart racing. He didn’t mean…the relationship? Your eyes sting from holding back your tears.
“You’re trying to—I mean I don’t want this right now. Not after I pressured you into telling me what was wrong. If you don’t want me touching you, right now…it’s okay.”
“I do, I do want you to touch me. I-I cooked all afternoon because I’m too stupid to figure out how to just tell you with words. I miss you,” you pause, catching your breath. “I miss you and I love you. I love you so much.”
“Don’t say that.”
You frown. “But—”
“You aren’t stupid.” Oh, that. “It’s okay to feel a little down about yourself sometimes. I-I struggle with that, too. Just…talk to me about it, yeah? I just…I want you to tell me so I know…I know you’re okay.” Your tears finally break free, all the tension leaving your body as he speaks. “So I can tell you how beautiful you are to me,” he finishes.
You struggle to speak, overwhelmed. Finally you manage to gasp out, “I’m sorry.”
He pulls you into his chest, hand moving up your back to rub gentle circles. Much like you’d done for him earlier. “You’re okay. We’re okay. I know it’s hard,” he soothes.
“I didn’t realise at first, I-I was distracted. I didn’t realise I was pushing you away.”
“Shh, it’s okay. You don’t need to say anything else. I got you.”
You pull back from where your head rests against his shoulder, looking into his eyes again. “You believe me though, don’t you? You know I love you. You said… earlier you said—”
“I know,” he whispers, “You might not have touched me much recently but… you showed me you love me in your own ways.”
“I did?”
“Mm, you never stopped making me breakfast, or putting my towel in the dryer for me while I showered,” he smiles. “Even asking me how my day was, you never miss a day. I was waiting for you to tell me what was wrong. I just…I had a hard day and I…usually when I have a day like today I can come home and hold you. I just—I needed you today and I let it overwhelm me. Then I thought I’d pressured you into telling me when you werent ready…” He runs his hands up and down your arms. “...into touching me when you weren’t ready.”
“I am ready,” you whisper before pressing your lips to his again. This time he’s responsive, his hand coming to rest at the back of your neck so he can guide you. You can taste his toothpaste and a little saltiness from your tears.
“You sure?” he mutters between kisses.
“Mm, sure,” you answer, pushing him onto his back. He lifts your nightgown up as you kiss him, forcing you to pull away for a second so he can pull it over your head. He pulls you down against his bare chest, skin to skin.
His arms are wrapped around you, holding you tightly against him. He mutters into your mouth, “Feel you…feel…more…” He sounds desperate, like he’s finally let go of whatever he was holding back. Some of the guilt seeps back in.
“I love you,” you tell him again. He moans into your mouth as he his hips lift off the bed a little, grinding up into you. You weren’t used to having him underneath you like this. He usually liked being on top, hovering over you as he filled you. Apparently that wasn’t what he needed right now, he was making no attempt to change positions. He just keeps grinding up into you, muttering into your mouth as he works himself up.
You attempt to pull back a little so you can reach down and help him take his sweats off. He holds tight, trapping you against him. “Just for a second,” you whisper against his lips. He shakes his head, reaching down to free his cock from his waistband—not bothering to pull his pants down anymore than he has to. He aligns himself up against you then resumes his grinding, his bare cock brushing up and down your cunt with his desperate movements.
Usually, you’d tease him for being so needy. But right now, you just want him to feel good. He deserves to feel good. So you press your lips to his neck and let him hold you tight, let him take what he needs. It isn’t until he’s practically panting that you take some control, pushing up a little so you can reach back and guide him to your entrance. He looks completely out of it, like he could have just kept fucking himself against you and wanted for nothing else in the world. You watch his face as you push back against him, his tip pressing inside slowly. You want to savour it, having been without him for so long. You barely get half way down his cock before he pulls you back down against him and thrusts all the way in.
You gasp, breath knocked from your lungs at the sudden fullness. He’s still, one hand coming to hold the back of your head. “Alright?” he asks, sounding equally breathless.
“Mm,” is all you can offer him for now, focused on the way he’s stretching you—how it feels to have him this close to you again. He’s only still for a few more moments and then his hands move to grip your hips, giving him the leverage his needs to begin fucking up into you—desperate again.
“Missed you,” he breathes out, practically panting as he pulls you up and down his cock to meet his thrusts.
You want to tell him you missed him too, that you love him so much, that you’re sorry for pushing him away—but you can’t. You can’t speak, or think. You’re just feeling. The feeling of his hands gripping your hips, his breath against your mouth, his cock fucking you full.
“So perfect,” he mutters, pressing a messy kiss to your mouth—both of you too fucked out to attempt anything other than messy and desperate. His words sink deep into you, knowing that at this moment he’s really just saying whatever comes into his head. That he means it. You attempt to catch your breath, to focus on getting the words out you need to tell him—but then he fucks into at an angle that makes you blank. You collapse, head falling into his neck as you whine. He keeps fucking into you as you come down from your high.
“Got you,” he pants, “Gonna—Gonna fill you.” He pulls you down hard, cock buried deep inside as you feel him lose himself—his deep groan filling the room. It’s messy, his cum spilling from you as he pulls himself free just to fuck his tip back into you again. He whines as he overstimulates himself, cock slipping through your folds as he grinds against you a little again.
When he finally stills, you expect him to relax—for his arms to loosen around you. They don’t. He holds you tight as you both catch your breath, like he’s afraid you’ll just get up and leave him. You lift your arms up to slip under his neck, silently reassuring him. You’re staying. He loosens his hold a little, muscles relaxing.
“Think you’re perfect, too,” you say, finally. “I need you, even when I was pushing you away, I needed you.” You lift your head to meet his eyes. His cheeks are red, his hair sticks to his forehead. You pull one hand from behind his neck so you can brush it aside.
He smiles, one of his full smiles—dimples making a welcome appearance. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
please reblog and share your thoughts. caption, tags, replies, or ask box, i read it all. feedback is what motivates me to write more!
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I would like to take a moment to acknowledge myself and say that I am elated and proud to have manifested some of my major goals since 2018-2019. Basically before then, 2014-16 I struggled with depression and suicidal ideation quite frequently due to not having steady income, as jobs in retail seemed the only available and “safe” options, but long shifts standing at a registers or posts were damagingly hard on my body. In 2017 I got a desk job that set me on the path of financial stability and reduced physical load, which did absolute wonders for my mental health but it was an absolute blight to my existence over time due to terrible management and the usual corporate garbage. I knew that staying there was fine for a time but not sustainable in the long run, so change must come eventually.
also around then, I continued to explore self portraiture and personal style but I really wanted to perform/create Burlesque acts and book them, and invest in and actually have choreography/technique and beautiful costume pieces that looked like the visions refining themselves in my head through research. I was also perpetually struggling in the dating sphere with the deficit of romantic fulfillment that I deeply wanted. and while they weren’t hostile, things were definitely weird with my family (dysfunctional, literal small town energy, upset that I didn’t want to be around them more in the suburbs but lots of interpersonal toxicity and lack of emotional growth).
I knew that in the coming years I wanted to…
quit my soul sucking job and set out to be a full-time or at least professional level burlesque performer, creating the qualitative and classic show girl acts I dream to see on stage
work on the floor at a boutique or mom-and-pop type shop that sells goods or services that are interesting to me, especially aesthetically, such as an antique shop or a jewelry boutique etc., but a place where I could sit intermittently as needed for my physical disability. Also, ideally it would be a position where I could express myself through style at my choosing and it would be received well, and also my hours would not be very early or very late.
find a loving and supporting partner who I could lavish equal amounts of love and support on to, live with and hopefully marry
Achieve/maintain financial stability enough that I have a reduced risk for homelessness and sometimes treat myself to things that I enjoy.
Figure out why the relationship with my family was such a struggle and do things within my power and desire to fix it.
In a world that isn’t a corporate machine devoid of empathy, none of that seems like a tall order to ask… but I live in America so… It took some time, but I’m starting to see the fruits and returns. Honestly sometimes things feel like a blur and I’m not exactly sure I could say there was a huge system to what I did overtime to make it work, but I know the work was there.
As of today, September 9, 2023:
I am a respected professional burlesque performer with costumes I figuratively gag over and acts that come closer and closer to hitting the aesthetic nail on the head for what I want to embody. (I quit that shitty desk job at the beginning of 2019 and haven’t looked back since. Sent a whole ass company wide message with a long and detailed “fuck you” too.😂🙈)
i’ve managed through burlesque, social media work, donations and savings, and —since the global pandemic—,odd jobs and grants/minimal loans, to continuously pay rent and ward off homelessness 
I live with the love of my life, to whom I am engaged and actively planning our wedding (we looked at a venue yesterday!)
I’ve helped my mom on the growth of her emotional intelligence and commitment to learning more about values under the race, gender, and sexuality umbrella, as well pushed her to examine the enabling and entitlement dynamics with her adult children that take advantage of her. While my relationship with my brother and sister is not great, my relationship with my mom has been steadily getting better since the pandemic. we had a breakthrough at the beginning of this year where she acknowledged and apologized for guilt tripping me for not being around the family more, when I was (she quoted) “actually protecting myself like she should have been.”
and litcherally within the past week I was offered the job at a local boutique I interviewed with a year ago and didn’t get, and I signed an offer letter to begin work within the month. 
To say I’m happy with the way things look right now is an understatement. The world still terrifies me, but I have no choice but to carve out a sliver of its beautiful experiences for myself, and I am doing just that. It may not be perfection, but it’s pretty damn good and I’m going to do everything in my power to keep it that way and make it even better. I am living my ancestors' wildest dreams!!
for anyone reading who might be struggling right now to make things work, I hope you hold on to hope that it can get better. A beautiful life is possible even on this hell scape, even for the marginalized.
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I saw the requests for fics were open I just need to ask if it's ok to put one in and if it's ok to have an x reader even if platonic bc honestly I'm in a mood lol and I am craving LER ALASTOR idk why and I love your fics and you are a great writer
Author's note: EVERYTHING I NEEDED WAS AN IDEA AND WHEN YOU POSTED THAT ONE PROMPT I WENT
I KNOW WHAT I GOT TO DO NOW.
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"Good night"
Summary: You were struggling to sleep that night, so in defeat, decided to just give up and stay up all night. Sadly for you, Alastor didn't exactly approved your idea.
Warnings: Swearing.
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Bags under your eyes would appear if you didn't go to sleep, and you knew it pretty well. It sucks, really sucks, but laying down on your bed doing nothing and being unable to finally take a good night of sleep sucks the double of those two combined.
As much as the TV wasn't that entertaining, it was enough to keep you awake and slightly less bored.
3AM, still nothing. You took a nap on the couch, but then woke up again. Did you actually took a nap? Or did you brain just turned off? Not sure, not bothered enough to care.
But, suddenly, something else finally got your eyes off of the screen.
"And what are you doing down here so late?"
The sudden voice made you stop on your tracks, jump even, as it came right after hours of silence.
"Jesus fucking Christ Alastor, I almost had a heart attack!" You took a deep breath, calming yourself down. "I'm just watching TV."
Alastor looks to the TV with the corner of his eyes, squeezing them slightly to show his displeasure. "Those things can be quite unhealthy at this time, my dear. Why don't you just turn this off and go to sleep?"
"Because I don't wanna and I can't sleep." You didn't even wanted to sound abrupt, but your filters slowly disappear when you grow more and more tired.
"Now that's just rude." Replied, not offended at all but rather keeping this in his mind for later. "Can't sleep, you say? Well, I have a solution for that." He added with a confident grin.
"...does it include hitting my head onto a wall to knock me out or something?"
Alastor stared at you with a blank face, blinking a few times. "Two solutions."
You rolled your eyes and finally sat, raising an eyebrow. "What solution?"
Alastor lets out a snicker, and with a single snap of his fingers, both of you are back on your room. You fell on your bed a bit too aggressively, but it's not like he cares.
"We only need to get rid of that energy of yours. I'm sure it'll be as easy as pie, you're already almost falling asleep."
"Uh... okay... and what's your plan, exactly?"
Your question made him look at you mischievously, which startled you and already made you let your guard up.
"Alastor-"
But before you could react, something pinched your side right behind you. As you looked, it was one of Alastor's little creatures. Is that a little man? A doll? A little demon? A pet? Whatever this thing is, made you flinch with a single touch.
And just like Alastor could spawn one of those, getting more of them needed the exact same effort.
"What are those??"
"Oh, I never really gave them names, so call them whatever you want. They're also harmless."
Three of them surrounded you, poking your upperbody in different spots while giggling.
"H-Hey! Gehehet off!" They may be weird but also looked weirdly adorable, what made you hesitated on pushing them away. "Thehehey're tick-"
But you stopped yourself right away. It got the other demon's attention, since your fit of giggles was definitely not the cause of the sudden hold up.
"Did you just interrupted yourself?" He asked teasingly, leaning towards you with a more bratty smile.
"Whahahat?! Nohohoho!"
Alastor shrugged, throwing his staff lightly from one hand to another. "If that's the case, I must have misunderstood. After all, there's no reason for you to not say 'tickle'." His head turned back to you, curiously. "Correct?"
As they keep tickling you, you ended up falling on the bed, rolling back and fourth as a poor attempt to escape. "ShuhUHUHUT UP!"
The deer chuckled at your reaction to it. "Oh, I'm not the one who should! Your volume may wake up someone in the hotel."
"Thehehen STOHOP!"
Your words entered his ear and leaved the other, or even worse, didn't even entered in any at the first place, as everything he did was look at his nails.
"I can't, I already promised to help. It is getting you tired after all-"
"FUHUHUHUCK!!"
Your tone suddenly increased in a... huge volume. More than he expected, what startled the guy. Wanting or not, if anyone wakes up he'll end up getting in trouble aswell, so he's thinking twice about his plans.
However, something is off for him. Once you lay down, you didn't got up again nor tried to. It definitely isn't bothering you as much as it looks like, and this fact did not make it worse for himself. More likely to be the opposite, as an encouragement.
The inner conflict was agonizing to keep, and Alastor's eyes show that. With a sigh mixed with a humming, he snaps his fingers, finally sparing you from the shadows.
Your laughter slowly died down, and without realizing, your face shifts to one of disappointment.
"Hah... heh... what..?"
The taller one sits by your side, avoiding visual contact but, for some reason, not the physical one.
Before you could react, Alastor quickly recomposed himself, looking at you with a cheeky grin once again while his own hand touches your stomach.
"It is unfair for me to get punished because of your sensitivity, so I'll try something lighter this time."
The demon's fingers began to scratch, but not hurt, tickling you in a slow yet surprisingly effective way. You grabbed his wrist, but didn't have the courage to take it off as you knew it would come to an end if you did.
Your chuckles, snorts, cackles, any noises you would make, would spread the room as long as he wanted, and the silence would only return once you're finally asleep.
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Can I ask for a filly imagine?? Something like the guys finding out that he's seeing soneone?
MESMERISED: YUNG FILLY
Authors note: no you’re not mistaken… b4tasquad actually posted for someone that isn’t Niko😭 love love filly, so here’s this🫶
Warnings: none!
…
“What the fuck is up with you, man?” Filly, who had been previously giggling, looks up from his phone. For the past hour or so he had completely ignored all of his friends, instead texting you as the two of you made it a habit to send the funniest videos you could find. “You’re grinning like a mad man.”
Chunkz is not impressed as they’re currently loosing the match which they had been paired against Aj and Sharky for. He had noticed his best friend’s weird behaviour weeks ago. It was when he’d arrive to their meet-ups with his thoughts elsewhere, eyes shining and the weirdest explanations to back up his lateness.
“Don’t tell me it’s that gyal you won’t tell me about” Aj pauses the game, too invested in the topic to continue playing. Sharky himself is turned around to get the tea himself. At Filly’s silence, Chunkz rolls his eyes. “ Why won’t you show me her? You make it seem like she’s facially deformed with the way you’re hiding her.”
“You’re so fucking funny.” Filly counters, not being cool with his brother talking about his girl like that. Sure, Chunkz didn’t know you, curtesy of the agreement between you and Filly to keep it hidden, but he still didn’t appreciate what he was insinuating. To Filly, you were genuinely the most beautiful girl ever.
“You know I’m joking, bruva.” Chunkz laughs, and it’s impossible to stay mad at him.
“And besides, if she got you this hooked, she must be beautiful.” Sharky, the most respectful person says.
“Or mystery girl must be providing him the most pussy- whipping ride ever.” Aj’s quick to move off of the couch, protecting himself as Filly’s whole body comes at him. “I’m joking! I’m joking!”
The Colombian relaxes against the couch again, a smile resting on his face as he gets a new message from you. To this day, 6 months into your relationship, he had managed to keep you somehow hidden, but now he just couldn’t.
“She’s just so perfect you know?” He breaths out. “Every thing she does or says I repeat in my mind and play it in slow motion, because I’m just so…”
“Mesmerised?” Chunkz tries and his friend nods.
“Exactly!” Chunkz, Aj and sharky were literally known for violating at all times, but right now as they saw the absolute love on their friend’s face, they couldn’t help but admire it. “This isn’t just simping. I genuinely believe that she’s the only one for me. I get sick thinking about other girls, let alone even touching them-“
“Okay now.” His best friend stops him with a laugh. “Mandem’s getting a little too carried away.”
“Sounding like he’s putting a ring on it today.”
Filly pushes his friend, as the thought of marrying you gets in his head. “Shut up Aj. I’ve had enough of you.”
A couple hours later, Filly is sat against the couch, bowl of his favourite Colombian dish in hand. You were positioned between his legs, eyes moving from the tv in front of you to your food once in a while. Waking up today, you were feeling extra appreciative of your boyfriend and everything he did for you. He always went above and beyond to make sure the smile on your face never faltered and while it was just casual acts of giving for him. You looked at it entirely different.
As a person who had never experienced this level of kindness in a relationship, there weren’t enough words to describe the gratitude you felt towards him. In an attempt to try and show some of it, you had recreated a dish from his home country you knew he loved. It took you hours, a change of clothing and three different recipes, but in the end you had done it.
Filly noticed the second he walked into your home, the smell being a clear giveaway. Running into the kitchen, very childlike, he took a hold of your jaw to pepper kisses all over your face. You were sure your makeup would be ruined, but you didn’t mind, and it didn’t seem like he cared about having a little product on him either. He thanked you with the most genuine smile you had ever seen on a person, muttering Spanish words as he hugged you. With your little Spanish ability, you could faintly translate them to affectionate names he had called you in the past.
That brings you to now, the two of you cuddled up against each other as you watched a Netflix series you had been begging him to watch with you for months. As a particular scene that always managed to rile you up played, you could hear the faint gasp from your boyfriend as he puts down your food.
“Did that just happen?”
You nod as you copy his actions of putting away the food. There wasn’t anything more you hated than that scene as you could practically feel the betrayal through the screen.
Filly just looks baffled at the screen. “Wait why would she set her friend up? Lying to her like that.”
“Because she’s a bitch?” Turning around, you instead opt to lay with your chest on his. Taking a hold of his jaw, you slowly start to caress it. “Not everyone’s such a loyal friend like you, Felipé.”
He laughs at the use of his actual name, and not the username he had became accustomed to. “The govy? Wow you must really mean it.”
“I do” you hum, connecting your lips with his. With the awkward position you’re laid in, filly instead pulled both your legs on either side of his body, making you sit on him properly. As he trails his kisses from your mouth and to your neck, you giggle. “You basically tell them everything.”
Your words had no intention behind them, but filly stops and pulls away from you as he remembers what he had told them just hours ago. He wasn’t too sure how you would feel if you knew, but there was no doubt that telling you was better than lying about it. So with a a painful sigh, he rubs at his temple.
“Listen.” He drags out, making it sound much worse than it actually is.
Seeing the look of utter terror on your face, filly shakes his head quickly. “No, no. It’s nothing like that.” The Colombian reassures you, knowing you were thinking to deep into it. You cross your arms, still sat on top of him, as you wait for his words. “I might’ve let it slip that you and I-”
“No”
“Yeah.” He confirms, scratching the back of his neck.
“What happened?” You’re quick to ask, just wanting to know who, and why he had told his friends about the two of you when you had agreed to keep it to yourself for a while.
“I was hanging out with the guys and you and I were texting. Long story short Chunkz was like ‘I know you’ve got a gyal, you’re all in love, who is she’ and I just couldn’t hold it in ya’know? I just love you so much and-”
You cut his words of with a firm kiss, sensing how nervous he was becoming. Filly kisses you back with the same intensity, only managing to relax under your comforting touch. Once the two of you pull away, he’s quick to question you.
“Are you mad?”
You just smiled, finding it cute that he was this worried. Figuring it was from a place of care, you shook your head. “How could I be mad at you?”
Filly huffs a breath of air in happiness, a little grin on his face, and it’s probably the best thing you’ve ever witnessed.
…
Tag list:
@p3drii , @jiusz , @n1kodl , @shuuuuush , @w1shes43 , @alltoowill0w, @slutforpablogavi
(Check pinned to be added!)
#yung filly#foot asylum#beta squad#✭b4tasquad speaks#chunkz#Aj shabeel#youtube#sharky#yung filly x reader#yung filly x you
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Computer Virus - Vo/x, Ha/zbin Ho/tel
I couldn't not post this eventually. Been rattling around in my drafts for a while so I figured it was time it see's more than just the light of a few people's gazes. Also idk great details about computers/television besides google so uh, yeah lol. (Contains illness and minor mentions of mess) Summary: Vo/x is reminded why he never lets his co-workers use his private tech. AKA Vale/ntino you asshole.
“Fug’ck’s sake…”
Vox swallowed hard - then immediately wished he hadn’t. The action brought a pronounced, throbbing ache along the swollen, tender flesh of his throat. What had started as a barely there tickle and a slight stiffness in his joints steadily morphed into a definite virus - one that decided to bring family and friends, because it felt like his entire being was bogged down with congestion, discomfort and malaise.
In short: It fucking sucked, and he could only blame fucking Valentino.
Every time the asshole had an issue with his laptop, he always, always used Vox’s personal one - seriously, he was gonna need to triple encrypt it at this point to keep him out - and managed to download a fucking nasty malware via some kind of porn site. By the time Vox had connected his own system to the device, it was already too late, and by the time he’d found the source, it had already been transferred to him.
Part of him couldn’t be pissed at Valentino. Like, truly couldn’t. Valentino would just start cussing him out; How should I know what the fuck a computer virus looks like? What the hell is malware, anyway? On and on and on, until finally Vox would grow weary and just ban him from using any of his devices EVER again.
A sigh ghosted past Vox’s lips, followed by a sniffle - the sound so thick, sodden and heavy that it nearly had his skin crawling. To know that he didn’t even have a nose, let alone sinuses to get swollen and yet he felt so unbearably full to the brim with congestion… It was disgusting.
He almost wanted to sneeze, if to have a brief moment where his head didn’t feel so full to bursting. Almost.
Maybe if he could call it one-and-done, but nooo. He could never sneeze just once. They came in bursts, itchy expulsions that seemed to tumble out on top of each other, so damned excited to finally be let loose. And they left Vox panting, sniveling and mortified as he tried to mop the fluid that seeped from his vents and lips. Fuck, it was so gross.
Groaning, he shifted onto his side and tugged the duvet tighter over his shoulders - he hadn’t left bed for a good few hours but fuck it. The day was a wash the moment he’d slept through his alarm. Velvette and Valentino (the virus-peddling-moth-fucker) could manage without him for one damn day.
His eyes were close to shutting completely, once again allowing the haze of sleep to take over - until he felt it. Just there, right behind his eyes; an inkling of prickling irritation.
He whined, squinting and uselessly screwing his expression up as though he did have a nose to wriggle and twitch. Please, just let me sleep for a minute…
As if infuriated at the mere idea that Vox wouldn’t allow himself the pleasure of sneezing, the sensation all but exploded, and a sharp hitch flew past his lips.
“Fuhhhck m’be, plhhheease…!” Okay, maybe that was a little weird to be gasping out in bed - alone but, he simply didn’t care. In the moment, all Vox could do was gasp and sputter, a few more lewd-leaning sounds spilling past trembling lips before the television demon’s system couldn’t stand to have the intense irritation linger a moment longer.
“heh’IISSCHHH’HIEW!”
The first sneeze always managed to take him by surprise, if nothing else than because he was still stunned he could even sneeze so hard without a fucking nose. He cringed, feeling the pillowcase beneath his head grow a bit damp - ughhh, fucking gross - but he had all of two seconds to dwell on the mess factor before a shiver rippled down his spine.
“hHHZZSCHH’hiew! hHHZZ’NGSHHh! Hehh!! Ehhh’IZZSCHH’OOoo! Unnghh… fu’huuugck…”
A pitiful whine trailed after the last exhausting sneeze. It felt like someone had just sucked whatever was left of his damned soul out of his ailing body. And the congestion somehow seemed worse, sluggishly dripping onto his already soiled pillowcase. It plugged his ears and made his head spin even while laying down.
Despite how Vox wanted to immediately throw himself into the pits of hell itself, he settled on nuzzling deeper into his covers and tugging the comforter forcefully over his head.
Fuck a day off. At this rate, the other Vee’s were lucky if they managed to get him back in a week.
#greywrites;#//i literally have so much more filth in my brain for this man but for now#hope y'all enjoy~
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All the discussion around AI lately got me thinking about an incident recently in which a guy got his ass sorely beat by the vocal synth community
For those of you not familiar, “vocal synths” in the electronic music sense typically refers to programs like Vocaloid, SynthV, UTAU, Alter/Ego, DeepVocal, etc., digital instruments that allow composers to create, as the name implies, synthesized vocal tracks. The way they work is that they draw from libraries (referred to as “voicebanks” or VB for short) of special studio recorded* vocal samples from singers singing different syllables at a consistent pitch. The program then splices these together and adjusts the pitch to match whatever notes you put in- You want to do All Star, it’s gonna string together “[suh][m] [buh][di] [wuh][n][s] [tO][ld] [mi]” or something like that. Basically it’s an extremely complicated sampler.
(*unless you’re using UTAU or another build-your-own-vocal program in which the “studio” is only metaphorical, and is sometimes somebody’s basement with a Rockband mic plugged into a laptop.)
Now, there is no threat of vocal synths putting actual singers out of a job. Even the best vocal synths always have a bit of a robotic sound to them, and the voicebanks take hundreds of hours of recording time from you know, actual singers. Any piece made with vocal synths has to be worked by a human hand in a process called “tuning” in order to sound any good, whether you’re trying to make it sound human or leaning into the robotic sound. This isn’t something that’s being done on a corporate scale to cut costs- This is something pretty much exclusively being done by small scale indie music hobbyists because we fucking love Hatsune Miku and her weird buddies. Most folks are less interested in doing something that sounds 1:1 like a human voice and more in going beyond what humans can do to make shit like this
youtube
One of the leading vocal synths right now is Synthesizer V (SynthV), created by a company called Dreamtonics. SynthV offers fancier versions of some of its voicebanks, which are called “AI” voicebanks. These use machine learning trained on, again, professionally recorded and legally licensed vocal samples to help make songs sound a little bit more smooth, a little bit more in line with whatever singing style you’re aiming for. Everything else previously mentioned still applies: They’re still painstakingly recorded and programmed, you still need to tweak it yourself to get it to sound just right, and it’s still never going to sound 100% like a human. And that’s fine!
For this next bit y’all are gonna have to trust me because the tweets all got deleted, though if anyone wants I’m happy to pull up screencaps of talking shit about it with other vocal synth folks when it happened lmfao
So basically. Since ChatGPT type grifters have convinced people that “AI” means “magic plagiarism button”, back in April some dipshit NFT guy on Twitter started complaining on an official SynthV update post that SynthV (which he apparently believed to be called “Dreamtonics”, the name of the company that makes it) should allow people to make voicebanks from “their own voice”, insisting that it would be easy and PROFITABLE!™ to do so. He also clearly did not actually mean “their own voice” but rather “the voices of celebrity singers shamelessly lifted without their consent”, which was made extra obvious from a tweet on his own page that was like “Teehee people in monitored Twitter spaces don’t realize their voices are being recorded and fed into AI!” which he then deleted after I linked it on the thread about SynthV. lol.
Dude proceeded to get whupped by actual vocal synth people basically saying shit along the lines of “Yeah we can all tell you just want to commit cheap plagiarism, jackass” and “Dude why are you here when you clearly don’t understand the very very basics of what this software even is” and “Go make an UTAU voicebank if it’s so easy then”. (UTAU being a Japanese freeware program that hasn’t been updated since 2013. Creating an UTAU voicebank is complicated and takes a lot of time and technical knowledge.) He still refused to learn the basics of how vocal synths work, and proceeded to ask if “UTAU or Diff is most compatible with Dreamtonics”, a question absolutely no one could make any sense of? Lol.
Anyway, I don’t have anywhere in particular I’m going with this, I just think AI grifters are morons, and it’s obnoxious how the vague and misleading term “AI” has gotten nigh-mythologized by shady tech companies to the point that people can’t tell the difference between perfectly reasonable assistive technology and magic plagiarism.
Btw, fun fact for anyone who’s wondering, there do in fact exist legally/morally questionable UTAU voicebanks spliced from outside vocals. These are called “jinriki” voicebanks and not only do they take the same amount (if not more) of hard work as any other voicebank, they’re far from the insta-Beyoncé this dude was aiming for, and instead they sound um. like this
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Want | Eddie Munson
pairing: Eddie Munson X Fem Reader
summary: Eddie hangs out with someone and you confront him about it.
warnings: angst, yelling, self-doubt
word count: 1.9k
a/n: shit haven't posted in a little bit, but hey getting back into it with a little Eddie angst!
*******NOT MY GIF, CREDIT TO OWNERS*******
We both stormed into the trailer. It's been heated ever since this morning at the coffee shop. One of the workers thought I was cute and wrote his number on my cup. I thought it was a cute gesture but when Eddie saw it he flipped out.
"You can't just go around getting other guys' numbers!" He was furious about it as if I had asked for the number in the first place.
"I didn't ask him to find me attractive and prompt him to give me his number, I was texting YOU the entire time!" That went on for a good half hour before my alarm went off alerting me that I had an hour before work.
"I have work soon, and I still need to shower," I grab my towel off the back of a chair, "We're not talking about this anymore."
But sadly that was only the beginning of this day-long fight.
---
I get a call from Eddie right before my lunch break begins.
"Hey, babe."
"Hey, what's up?" I can't help the smile that forms on my lips upon hearing his voice.
"Just checking in. Making sure we're okay after this morning. We are okay, right?" I can hear the slight pain in his voice as if I'd say no to his question.
"Yes, we're okay. You wanna grab lunch together today? I heard of this new Chinese spot down the street and I thought it could be good."
"I'd love to but I have a Hellfire thing and then I've got, um," He stops short of his sentence.
"Got what? Eds, are you ok?"
"Hm oh yeah look I've gotta run, talk later. Bye love you." Then the line goes dead. Weird Eddie's never declined lunch with me, ever. Why was he in such a rush anyways?
I try to push the thoughts out of my mind and focus on work for the rest of the day. But a huge part of my mind wonders why Eddie is acting so strange. Was something bad going on between us? Did I do something wrong?
At 5:30 pm I'm walking home, tired and hungry. I decide to take a shortcut through the woods to get back to the trailer park, which Eddie had shown me a while ago. The walk wasn't that bad, there was a slightly clear path on the way. As I walk I hear voices in the distance.
The further I walk the louder they get. There are two of them, one a high-pitched one, who seems to be laughing a lot, and another one, deeper, quieter. I try my best to avoid any sticks or dry leaves so as to not disturb the two. Then I hear it. The loud boisterous laugh, one I could pick out from any crowd, Eddie's laugh.
What the hell was Eddie doing in the middle of the woods so late? And who the hell was he with? I crouch down a little and walk closer to the voices, trying to get a look at them. And there I see it. Eddie, my Eddie, sitting at an old wooden picnic table with the popular, golden girl, Chrissy Fucking Cunningham.
My heart races, my stomach churns, and my head spins. My body refuses to move, my eyes refuse to turn away. Eddie and Chrissy are sitting across from each other, faces close together, laughing and smiling like their old friends who haven't seen each other in months. As I look closer at the pair I notice Eddie's lunch tin, the one he uses for deals.
He'd told me he quit selling months ago. I told him I wasn't comfortable with him putting himself in danger like that, and he happily agreed. So why was he carrying it now, and why with Chrissy?
I run off into the woods, trying my best to remember the way Eddie'd shown me. I finally reach the trailer park and start the walk to me and Eddie's shared one, which is on the other side of the lot.
I'm barely a few feet away from our front door when I hear the loud metal music pouring from the van. I look over my shoulder and there's Eddie, looking as handsome as ever.
"Hi, sweetie! How was work?" He closes the driver's door and heads up to me, planting a small kiss on the top of my head. He sounds out of breath.
"It was fine. Long," I pull out my keys and walk up the steps to the door, "How was your day?" I'm hoping he'll explain why he was out with Chrissy.
"Eh lame. I can't wait to finally graduate, I am so done with high school!" He walks in behind me, shedding his jacket and throwing it on the couch before plopping down. I walk to the bedroom and grab some pajamas to wear after my shower.
"What do you want for dinner tonight?" I hear Eddie say before turning on the t.v.
"I don't know, pizza?" I walk back out to the small living room with a towel in hand, "Or maybe we can go to that good Italian place you love?"
"Whatever you want, I'm not really hungry," I want to ask about Chrissy but then he'd know I was out there earlier.
"You sure? I'm happy with anything, babe."
"Yeah, just get what you want. I'm gonna take a shower, wash this day off of me."
"Oh okay, see you in a bit," I hum a response before turning on my heels and going to the small bathroom. Once I'm inside I lock the door and turn on the shower. I shed my clothes, step inside and sink to the floor. Cries being drowned out by the rush of water.
After what feels like hours in the hot stream of water, I climb out and wrap myself in a towel. I open the door and quickly close my eyes at the blast of cold air that hits me. I smell the familiar scent of pepperoni and mushroom in the trailer. Walking out of the bathroom and into Eddie and I's joint room I grab a pair of pajamas to wear.
After getting dressed and drying my hair a bit I walk out to the living room to get some dinner. Eddie is sitting on the couch, eating a piece of pizza and watching some slasher movie on the tv.
"Hey," He turns to me, "Where did you go today?"
"Work," I sit down on the other end of the couch.
"Oh yeah, what were you doing all day?"
I sigh and take a bite of pizza, "Just some paperwork and filing. You know the usual." I swallow my bite and hesitate before asking my question, "What did you do today?"
Eddie's eyes stay glued on the screen, almost as if he's scared to look at me. "Just school,"
"Nothing else? You were out kinda late."
"Oh, I guess I saw an old friend afterward. But that was nothing."
Finally, we're getting somewhere, "Oh that's nice. Who were you with?" I lean forward a little bit, eager to hear an answer other than 'Chrissy'.
"Just someone I went to middle school with," Eddie says.
"Who?" I ask again, pressing a little harder.
"Her name is Chrissy. Why?"
"No reason, I just like to know who your friends are," I get up and throw my plate in the sink.
"I wouldn't call her a 'friend' more like an old acquaintance," He gets up and follows me into the kitchen, reaching for another slice of pizza.
"Is she pretty?" I ask, fiddling with my hands.
"Pretty?! Yeah, I guess," Eddie gives me a questioning look.
"She must be if you were with her all day," I walk over to the fridge and grab a beer, "That or you were selling to her. Which can't be the case since you promised me you wouldn't do that anymore."
Eddie stops mid-bite, his eyes growing wide at my words. He drops his plate down on the counter, "Wha- How do you know I was out with her today?"
"What do you mean? You just told me," A small smirk plays on my lips before I take a sip of my drink.
"Yeah I know but how the hell did you know I was with her all day? I never told you that!" His voice is louder now.
"I saw you together," His eyes grow huge, almost as if they could pop out at any moment, "At the picnic table in the woods. She was laughing and smiling, I think I even saw her put her hand on your arm at some point."
I turn around from the fridge and look him dead in the eye, "Did you fuck her?" I whisper, almost afraid to speak loudly enough for him to hear me.
Eddie's face goes white, "No! God no!"
"Then why did you have your lunchbox with you? I know that you only use it for deals," Tears start threatening to spill from my eyes.
"Jesus Christ because I had a deal earlier that day. And before you say anything, I know I said I would stop selling but they offered me like 600 for it and we really need the money babe," He looks at me with pain in his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to meet her?" I finally can't hold back my tears any longer and they fall.
"Because I knew you'd worry and freak out if you found out! Just like you are now!"
My voice cracks, "How the hell am I supposed to believe you, Eddie? You're out with a pretty girl for god knows how long then come home late and just expect me to believe she's 'just an old friend'?!"
"Yes! Because I love you and I would never do anything to hurt you! You know that" Eddie takes a step toward me, but I step back.
I place my beer on the counter and wrap my arms around myself, "I want to believe you Eds I really do but," I struggle to find the words, "I don't trust you anymore, I can't. You lied to me and you kept secrets from me! What else are you hiding? What else have you done that I don't know about?"
Eddie grabs my shoulders and pulls me towards him, "Baby please listen to me," His voice is soft and delicate, "Do you know how much I fucking love you?"
The words hurt me when I think of them but I need to know the answer, "Yeah but, do you want me?"
Eddie drops his hands from my shoulders and pulls away. He looks at me, the tears that have stained my cheeks, and the way my lip quivers. It breaks him to know that his hanging out with Chrissy has hurt you this much. He can't come up with a good explanation or a way to make you feel better so he grabs his jacket and keys, opens the front door, and leaves.
I crumble to my knees, cries breaking out for the third time that day. My stomach tenses and my head becomes light, making me dizzy. I cry for god knows how long, holding myself on the kitchen floor of the small trailer. Knowing that I just ruined the only good thing that has ever come into my life.
Eddie Taglist: @ali-r3n @dixontardis
#eddie stranger things#munson#eddie munson#eddie my love#eddie my beloved#female reader#oneshot#smut#eddie munson smut#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fic#eddie munson x you#stranger things#stranger things 4#st4#stranger things season 4#eddie x reader
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*none of the art in this post is mine. All love goes to the artists who created them. I'm not sure who the artists are.*
🔞 NO MINORS! MINORS DNI!
CHEATING.
Kiba x F!reader
Kakashi x F!reader
Warnings: cheating, jealousy, angst, smut, lactation kink, labor.
Word count: 6.3k
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You were surprised when you opened the door to find the 6th hokage at your doorstep. He was here to inform you that your husband will be on his mission for a couple extra days. Which was a weird lie, and you could tell he was lying. Nonetheless, you invited him in for wine and to talk about why he would be gone for a few extra days.
He claimed that Kiba and Akamaru were having a hard time tracking the scent of Orochimaru. You raised a brow at this. That just wasn't possible. They both had an impeccable sense of smell. You didn't understand what the point was of this visit and the lies.
Next thing you knew, he kissed you with such need that it made you dizzy. He pushed you down against the floor. He caged you in with his arms. You moaned into the kiss, only slightly pushing away.
You had been lonely since Kiba had been going on a lot of missions lately. He was hardly home. Kakashi was stripping you down in seconds. His hands were everywhere. He picked you up as if you weighed nothing.
"Where's the bed?" He asked as he kissed your neck.
You pointed, and he walked towards it. He laid you down on the bed and stripped out his own clothes. He kissed your nipples and down your body. He started lapping at you pussy, until you were wet enough to take him.
"Ah!~ Kashi! Please! I can't take it!~" You cry out as your moans escape from your lips.
"You tell no one. I just... I need this. I've been watching you. I hate seeing you with him. I've been wanting you for a year. I want to feel what he gets to feel. You know why I've been sending him out so much. It's because I have been waiting for you to be so needy that you won't fight me." He says as he lines himself up with your dripping wet hole.
He pushes into you with a long moan and stuttering breath. Your pussy clenching around him as he bottoms out. He knew you two hadn't had a chance to fuck. The most Kiba had time for was to come home, shower, and sleep a couple hours because he was sent out on another mission as soon as Kakashi could come up with one.
Your moans were falling from your lips like a symphony to Kakashi's ears as he snapped his hips into your sweet tight pussy. You felt like you were untouched because of how long it had been since you and Kiba last had sex.
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Kiba was back in the village earlier than expected. His feet were dragging. Akamaru was exhausted. They both just wanted to sleep. He didn't even have the energy to shower. He walked towards you and his home without even lifting his head to greet anyone. His body was aching; he had bruises and new cuts covering his arms and a couple on his face.
All he could think about was being in bed with you, inhaling your scent, and relaxing until the next mission since Kakashi was always coming up with new ones fast. He thought he was only being sent out because he was recognized as good as what he did.
As he got within 50 feet of his home. He could smell you. Your arousal. It was so strong, he had only smelt it that strong when the two of you were fucking. Then, he got a bit closer and smelt male sweat. He growled. He was pissed, heartbroken. His nose never failed him. He knew you were cheating before he even opened the door.
Your moans were so loud he heard them through the front door. He also heard grunts of a male. He walked into the house, and straight to the room with claws out, ready to kill the man fucking his wife. When he saw the man on top of you with a mask down around his throat he was shocked. He ran towards him, and was about to throw him to the ground but was thrown back.
Kakashi wasn't letting anything or anyone stop him from having you the way he has always wanted. When you saw Kiba you froze at first before you started pushing Kakashi away.
"Tsk tsk. No, no, sweetheart. You were so willing until your mutt showed up." His hips were relentless as he grunted and moaned in your ear. You weren't strong enough to throw him off of you.
Kakashi was sucking and biting your neck. He started rubbing your clit. He knew you were close, and so was he. You tried to hold in your orgasm you really did, but you couldn't. Your back arches, a loud moan escaped you, your eyes rolled back, and you squirted.
"Oh fuck yeah baby.. that's it, baby... cum all over my cock~... show your mutt how good I'm making you feel!... ah!~ fuck! Cuuuuumming!" He says it loud and a bit dramatic. He wanted to hurt Kiba. He wanted him to leave you.
You started crying as she was coming down from your high. "No! No! No! Not inside! I don't want this! You! You manipulated me! You knew he was coming home, didn't you!"
"You were willing. You invited me in for wine. You pointed to the room when I asked where it was. You didn't say no until now. You were begging while I was eating that sweet pussy. You ... ah! Haaaahhhh ahh! Fuu-uckkk!~" He was cut off as he at the very least pulled out, and came all over your stomach.
Kiba was standing there, jaw clenched, claws digging into the flesh of his palms. He couldn't kill the hokage no matter how badly he wanted to. He couldn't believe you squirted for Kakashi. He hated everything about this. He hated that he felt like he was frozen in one spot. He watched as kakashi came on your stomach. He watched as he put his clothes back on and left with a smirk.
He watched as you used tissues from the nightstand to clean the cum off. He watched as you covered up to your ears with a blanket trying to cover up the evidence of Kakashi's marks even though Kiba was standing there watching it happen. He watched as you couldn't even look him in the eyes.
He finally spoke after staring at you like he was disgusted with you. "I want a divorce. I don't want anything to do with you. I want you out of my house. I don't care where you end up. I loved you, and I come home to you fucking Kakashi! Kakashi of all people! The fucking rrrrrrrah!"
He turned around, punching a hole in the wall, making you jump. "You know you're pregnant, right? I know it. I can smell the change in your hormones. You're a month and a half." He chuckled darkly. "The thing is... at this point I don't even know if it's fucking mine! How many other men have you fucked on our bed while I've been out on missions?"
You were shocked to find out you were pregnant, but you knew you needed to say something to save your marriage. "I.. I... I didn't... I don't.. Please, Kiba, listen to me. I've never cheated on you... this... this... He manipulated me! I didn't mean to. He was doing this on purpose! He said he was sending you out on missions as much as he could just to get to me." You tried to explain. You didn't want Kiba to leave you. You didn't want a divorce. You and Kiba had been inseparable since you were little kids. You didn't know what to do without him.
"Oh? it was just really convenient for him to come over, and fuck you the same day that I'm coming home! Fuck! I can't even look at you right now. I'm not sleeping here. I want you out by the time I come back tomorrow." With that he walked out slamming the door so hard it caused a crack down the middle of it.
You curled up in a ball, staring at the door with tears streaming down your cheeks as you hoped Kiba would come back... You wish this was all a nightmare. You wish you wouldn't have invited Kakashi in for wine. You didn't think anything of it at first. You thought it was the polite thing to do, to invite the hokage. You didn't know his intentions... You didn't exactly put up a fight to stop him either...
You sobbed until you passed out. You woke up in the morning and didn't leave.
He walked the streets until he ended up at Shino's house. Shino let him sleep on the couch. Kiba didn't say anything about what happened. He didn't want anyone to know.
He was numb, and he hardly talked. He just tried to act like nothing was wrong, even though every time he closed his eyes, he saw you falling apart under Kakashi instead of him. He didn't really sleep. He woke up crying by 4 am. Then, he was at a shushu-ya open. He was downing sake like it was water. He wanted so badly to get the image out of his head.
He stumbled home at about 8. He could smell that you were still there. He stumbled through the door to see three of you on the couch. He couldn't tell which one was actually you or the blur of his drunkenness. "Oh, look! It's my whore wife! Kakashi here again? Should I leave you two to fuck on my fucking couch?!"
He stumbled towards the kitchen and fell. He crawled towards the fridge, pulling out a bottle of sake. He started chugging it. "Didn't I fuckin tell you to get out of my house?! D-d-did you thunk I'd change my fuckin mind?"
"Kiba... you're drunk... let me help you to the bed." You start walking towards him, but Akamaru pulls you back lightly with his mouth on your hand. You look down at him with sad eyes. He had never done that before. You knew it was better to listen to Akamaru, but you wanted to fix this.
"Bed!? You mean the one you cheated on me in! Your on fucking drugs or something aren't you?!" He drank more of the sake.
"Ok, ok... I shouldn't have suggested the bed. We can get a new bed. Let me help you to the couch... please Kiba.. I don't want our marriage to go in the garbage because of my mistake... I love you, Kiba... I'm sorry..." You started crying as you pulled your hand out of Akamaru's mouth. You walked towards your husband on the floor.
You reached your hand out to help him up, but he swatted it away. "Don't fuckin touch me!"
You sit down on the floor in front of him. "Kiba... please don't do this. I know I fucked up, but at least let me help you..."
Kiba chugged the bottle. "I don't need you. I don't need your help. I can do it, my Goddamn self. Leave."
"Kib..."
He cut you off. "I SAID... GET. THE. FUCK. OUT!! GET THE FUCK OUT! GET THE FUCK OUT! get the fuck out..." He started sobbing. Akamaru came and laid over his legs protectively, growling at you.
You started crying, too, but you forced yourself to get up and walk away. You didn't leave, though. You went to the room and stripped the bed. You put all the bed sheets and blankets in a garbage bag. You pulled out fresh ones. You spray the bed and remake it.
You cleaned the room and reorganized. You went to the bathroom with his laundry and started washing them in the bathtub. You tried to just do as you normally would and more. You refused to leave.
You knew you fucked up, but you loved Kiba more than anything. You went to the kitchen after a couple of hours when you were done. You saw Kiba passed out on the floor with Akamaru laying on top of him.
"Akamaru... can you take him to the bed?" You tilted your head. You knew he understood you. You have been around Kiba since before Akamaru came into his life. You both could communicate with him.
He growled but did what you said. You helped pull Kiba onto his back, and he took him to the room, carefully hopping on the bed with him on his back.
You started preparing to cook. You made all of Kiba's favorite foods. Things he couldn't resist. She made the special food for Akamaru that Kiba taught her how to make.
Akamaru smelt it and couldn't resist. He left a sleeping Kiba to go see what you were doing. He walked out suspicious of what you were up to. He was stressed by how tense the house felt, by not being at home last night, by everything that was happening. You look over and smile at Akamaru.
"Hungry?" You ask as you mix the food. You walk over, placing it on the floor in front of him. "It's your favorite... I'm sorry for everything. I love you.. you're such a good boy." You scratch the behind of his ear and kiss the top of his head.
You get back to making food, waiting for Kiba's clothes to dry. You mop and sweep the floor after Akamaru gets done eating and goes back in the room with Kiba.
After everything looks spotless, you sit down and write him a 10 page front and back apology letter. You explain how much you love him. You mention precious memories that make you happy when you are sad. You tell him that you have never cheated on him before. You tell him the baby is his. You swear there's no way it couldn't be his. You tell him everything you love about him. You beg for forgiveness. Tear drops staining the pages.
Even after your hand had long since given out. You still didn't think it was enough. You thought he would never forgive you. You just hoped that after he sobered up that you could have a conversation with him without him yelling at you to leave.
You curled up in his hoodie on the couch. You cried more. You couldn't stop crying. You cried so much it made you nauseous. You got up and ran to the bathroom. That was what woke Kiba up after sleeping for 6 hours.
He heard you puking. His instinct was to check on you, hold your hair back for you, but he was irritated that you hadn't left yet. He then smelt the food you had made. He walked right past the bathroom that you were puking into the kitchen.
He opened the containers, taking a bite from one of the foods you made. He knew what you were trying to do... apologize. He just couldn't. He couldn't get the image out of his head. The whole time he slept, he saw you under Kakashi. He dreamt of killing him.
He noticed how clean everything was. After he warmed up his food, he noticed the thick letter on the table. He didn't want to open it. He didn't want to listen or read what you had to say.
You came out after brushing your teeth and washing your face. You had your hands holding onto the inside of his long sleeves because his hoodie was big on you. You look at him eating the food you made. Your heart pounds in your chest. You didn't know what to do or say. You walked into the kitchen with your head down. You poured him a glass of water and brought him some pain killers cause you were sure he had a hangover.
You set them down beside him. "It.. it should help with the headache you get every time you drink. If it helps, I.. i.. didn't put you to bed. I asked A-a-akamaru to. I-i-i also changed everything on the bed before he put you in it... I just didn't want you sleeping on the floor..."
He didn't say anything. He didn't even look at you. He took the pills and drank the water. He continues eating.
You nod slightly, knowing he's not going to respond. You take a clothes basket and go outside. You pull his clothes down from the clips and go back inside with your head down. You fold his clothes and put them away.
Kiba picks up the letter while you're folding the clothes in the bedroom. He reads it, and let's silent tears drop. He doesn't actually want a divorce. He feels like the baby is his. He knows he's been gone a lot. He believed you when you wrote that that was the only time you cheated. He never had any suspicions before, and surely he would've smelt it on you or in the house if you did.
He finishes the food and reads the letter. He walks into the room as you're putting the clothes away and grabs you from behind. You freeze at first, but then start crying.
You tremble in his arms. "P-please, Kiba. Don't make me leave. I-I love you... I don't know what to do without you. Y-you're my best friend. Love of my life. I know I made a mistake... just... just let me make it up to you. You don't have to forgive me... just please don't leave me." You sob.
His hand goes to your stomach. He turns you around and lifts your head with his fingertip under your chin. He looks deep into your red, puffy, teary eyes. "I'm not gonna make you leave." He presses his head to yours. "It's just going to take me a while to get over this, ok?"
You nod and sniffle.
"I wanted to kill him... hell... I wanted to hurt you. You don't understand how crazed I felt. Think about it, y/n... if you were going on constant missions... you thought you could come home to cuddle with me and get some rest, but you find me with another woman in our bed. What would you do?.." He had tears streaming down his cheeks.
You didn't know what you would do. You knew you would be beyond broken, crushed. You probably would've wanted him to leave, too. You probably would've wanted to hurt them. "I-I would've been acting the same as you... maybe worse..."
"Yeah, exactly. I'll tell you what... let's take this slow. I'm not ready to be around you. Or in this room. I don't think I can sleep in this room ever again... we need to start over, ok?" Kiba sniffles.
You nodded in agreement. He kissed your forehead and was about to walk away, but Akamaru had other ideas. He stood behind him and nudged Kiba back towards you.
He rolled his eyes at Akamaru's meddling to push you two together, but Kiba knew he didn't like you two fighting. Kiba kissed you softly. You kissed him back. He felt like it was one tiny step in the right direction.
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7 and half months later...
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Kiba bought a new house. It was as far away from the hokage as possible. He still went on missions, but he didn't want his pregnant wife anywhere near that son of a bitch. He refused to do constant missions. Kakashi allowed it because Kiba threatened to tell everyone what he did.
Kiba was home a lot more. He went to every appointment. He tried to be there for everything. This was his child growing inside you. He wasn't just going to leave.
Kiba laid on the couch with you next to him. He laid his head on your stomach as the baby kicked and made his head bounce. He wouldn't let you get up unless you absolutely needed something. The feeling of the baby kicking him lulled him to sleep.
You, on the other hand, had been on punishment, basically. You haven't gotten any sex. You were purposely interrupted from touching yourself every single time. He or Akamaru would go in the room and ignore what you were trying to do. Instead, they would just bug you until you gave up trying to get off.
You could barely take it anymore. Even having him this close to you was making you wet, and he could smell it as he was starting to wake up. You tried to reach down and touch yourself, but his hand grabbed your wrist so fast that you barely made it an inch towards your aching cunt.
"P-please, I can't... I can't take it anymore." You stuttered as you wanted to cry. You were 8 months along and suffering. Not only were you pregnant, exhausted, feet swollen, unable to roll in bed without Kiba's help, everything was a chore. On top of being horny as fuck most of the time. It was ten times worse when Kiba was home, which was a lot more than before. "I... I need you, or if you don't want to at least let me do it myself. P-please, Kiba." You whined.
"Tsk tsk... you know I really want to punish you longer, y/n... but also deep down, I feel like I'm torturing myself... just the smell of your arousal is making me so fucking hard right now." He said in a low growl.
His hard on was pressed against your leg. He started shallow thrusts against your leg. He was fast to get mad because it wasn't enough. He wanted to be inside you. He hadn't been inside you in 7 months, and it was driving him mad.
He picked you up and ran to your new bedroom with a bigger bed. He laid you down on it, ripping your clothes off you. He hit his lip. "Fuuuuck, I'm gonna get you pregnant again after you have this one.~ pregnancy looks so fucking hot on you..." He cups his hand on your sore breasts. "I mean fuckin look at these! They are so swollen, and full of milk... I wanna taste..~" He latches on to your nipple, sucking hard. He was surprised when your milk sprayed into his mouth, and let out a low moan.It was so sweet he couldn't get enough. He wanted to fuck you while he drank from you.
You watched as milk dribbled out of the corner of his mouth. You bit your lip moaning. He pulled his pants off and ripped his shirt off down the middle because he didn't want to stop sucking on your addictive milk.
He started fingering you while he sucked. He found all your sweet spots just like before. He stuck a pinky in your ass and curled his two middle fingers up just right to hit your g-spot. His thumb massages circles on your clit. You immediately were moaning uncontrollably because of the amount of pleasure you were getting after months of punishment.
He had you cumming in a matter of 4 minutes. He knew your body inside and out. That made him smirk against your breast. 'Kakashi didnt know jackshit about what you liked. That bitch boy just wanted to fuck you.' He thought to himself.
He wasted no time lining his throbbing cock up with your entrance, and slamming into you as he switched breasts. He moaned and growled as he snapped his hips into yours. All that could be heard were your moans and the wet squelching and slapping of your wet pussy and his balls slapping against your ass with each thrust.
He was in heaven right now, milk dripping down his chin while balls deep in your pussy. He couldn't think of anything better.
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
After hours of him fucking you in different positions, making you cum over and over again. You were so full of his cum it was becoming a puddle of your's and his cum mixed on the bed beneath you.
This round felt different, though. It started with a small ach that you just chopped up to how much sex you guys have been having, mixed with how far along you were and the lack of sex before this point. You ignored the pain until it became more intense. You were both about to cum.
He could sense something was wrong as he emptied his cum inside you again. He was about to ask what was wrong until there was a gush down his balls and legs from you. It didn't smell like when you came, and he immediately pulled out of you, started panicking. It was 4am. He was exhausted, and so were you.
There was a long cramp that lasted about a minute. They were 5 minutes apart. You gripped his arms so hard that your nails made him bleed. "Kiba! Something is wrong!" You cried.
"Shhh! Sh! Sh! Baby, breath! I think your water just broke." He ran to get sweats on and pulled an oversized nightgown on you. "I got you. I got you, baby." He cooed as you cried in pain. He didn't know what to do. You guys lived quite far from the village hospital. He didn't think he could get you there in time.
"AKAMARU!" Kiba yelled, and Akamaru immediately busted down the door. "Go find someone to help! Anyone! Bring them here!" Akamaru was gone in under a sec, searching for anyone nearby at 4 am. He found someone and barked at them. He was frantic. The person was a bit confused as to why Akamaru approached them, but it seemed urgent. So, they followed him back to yours and Kiba's home.
You were already pushing at this point. Kiba was trying his best to comfort you. He had a cold towel over your forehead, a towel underneath you. He had a suction bulb on the bed along with scissors to cut the cord. He had never seen someone give birth; he only knew some things from a book he skimmed through to be prepared for what to expect when you go into labor.
He was panicking as he was on his knees between your legs, trying to hold them open. "KIBA! I CAN'T FUCKING DO THIS! IT HURTS SO FUCKING BAD! I FEEL LIKE IM BEING RIPPED APART! AAAAAAHHHHHH! FUCK!" You screamed as you pushed through another contraction. You couldn't see as your vision was blurred by tears. You saw a tall figure walk into the room.
"Baby, shhh... you gotta focus on your breathing. Breath me. I'm not going anywhere. We're going to get through this..." His head turned to see who Akamaru brought and was immediately pissed the fuck off. "No! Fuck no! You are not going anywhere near my wife or her pussy again."
"I don't think you have a choice. I've delivered a baby twice, and you have no idea what you're doing. If you wanna do this by yourself, and risk losing your child and your wife... then be my guest, but I highly doubt you want that. You don't have anyone else with experience to help you. So, the choice is yours, Kiba." Kakashi was smug about this. He knew that Kiba had no choice but to let Kakashi help him deliver his baby.
Kiba didn't have a lot of time to think about it as you started screaming at the top of your lungs when another contraction hit you. "Fine! Fuck! Just. Just tell me what to do!" Kiba growled at Kakashi.
"First, would you rather help pull him or her out, or would you like to cut the cord? You can't do both. I'm not handing an idiot like you a pair of scissors while you're holding a baby. Also, you can't hold her legs open and be ready to pull and catch your baby. I am going to have to touch her in some way whether you like it or not." Kakashi stood beside Kiba. He could see that you were crowning or what some women call the ring of fire. You were crying and screaming and then panting during the short breaks between contractions.
Kiba growled at him and stood up. "I swear to God if you fuck something up, and she dies. I'm gonna fucking kill you!" He pushed you forward enough for him to sit with you between his legs.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever. Says the man who has no idea what he's doing and was about to do it alone." Kakashi pushed your legs up towards Kiba, who grabbed them to hold them up and open.
Kakashi was too close to your vagina for Kiba's liking, but just tried to focus on you. "Breath with me, baby. You gotta breathe, or you're going to pass out. Breathe in... breathe out... breathe in... Breathe out..." He was trying to talk you through it.
"The baby's head is out. You gotta push for me just two more times, Y/N. You can do it. I know you can." Kakashi had his hands cradling the baby's head, ready to assist in getting the shoulders out.
Kiba's jaw clenched at how Kakashi said that to you. He whispered in your ear. "Push for me, baby. Just two more times, and we'll have our baby..."
You push again, screaming...
♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡
After 2 hours of pussy ripping labor, your's and Kiba's baby was born. Kakashi held the baby up, using the suction bulb to pull the amniotic fluid from his lungs. You finally heard him cry, and it made you cry tears of joy. Kiba cried as he cut the cord.
Kakashi had to make due with a sewing kit he saw in the cabinet. He stitched the rip up. "You two will need to abstain from sex for 6 weeks, Kiba." He grabbed the baby blanket from the crib, taking the baby from your arms and wrapped the baby in it. He had noticed that you had passed out holding your new baby and handed the baby to Kiba after he crawled out from behind you.
"I will go get one of the village doctors to make sure everything is ok with her and your daughter, and bring him here. I don't think she will be waking up anytime soon. She's exhausted. So, let her sleep. Keep the baby warm." He turned to leave.
"Thank you... I still hate you, but thank you for helping.. I don't think I could've done it on my own..." Kiba spoke but didn't really look up. He couldn't take his eyes off his beautiful daughter, who had stopped crying, and was staring up at him.
Kakashi nodded. He may have given Kiba a choice to accept his help or not, but really, he wasn't going to take no for an answer. He knew Kiba wouldn't be able to do this on his own. Plus, a part of him hoped it was his, but that hair she came out with, and those tiny upside down red triangles on her cheeks let him know right away.
Kakashi left and came back with a doctor. While Kiba didn't move at all. He sat beside your sleeping form with his daughter in his arms.
The doctor looked at you and the baby over. Everything was fine besides the stitches. They wouldn't absorb like medical stitches. They would have to be removed after you were healed enough. The doctor told Kiba everything he needed to do to take care of you and the baby. Then, when to bring the baby and you in to have a check up. The doctor left, leaving Kakashi, who wanted to say something.
"I... I know I never apologized for what I did. What I did was wrong. I apologize. It wasn't her fault... I did indeed manipulate things like your schedule and her needs for you in my favor. I should've had more respect and self-control. I fell for her and her kindness and acted on an impulsive want. Anyways... I'm sorry for the trouble I've caused, and I hope the two of you have a very happy life from now and years to come." Kakashi hadn't planned to apologize at all, ever. But being here, watching how much Kiba cared for you that he was going to attempt to help you deliver the baby himself... he knew that Kiba truly loved you.
Kiba sighed. He knew what Kakashi meant. You really were too kind and beautiful... You were too good for this world. Kiba thought you were too good for him, too. "I get it... had the roles been reversed. I probably would've tried to do that same. Y/N is the best, most beautiful woman I've ever met. We've been friends since we were in diapers... you know that. We were inseparable. If she ended up with anyone other than me, I wouldn't have been able to accept it..."
"Yeahh.. I know. You guys have always been attached at the hip. I promise never to do that again. No missions for 12 weeks. She's going to need you to be here. I will find someone else to substitute on your team for the time being. Don't worry about being late on bills. Consider this my apology, and congratulations to you two. If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to ask. You have my number." Kakashi gave a smile through his mask and left Kiba to be alone with his daughter.
Kiba laid on the floor, letting you have the entire bed. He also didn't want to risk passing out and dropping the baby. He finally had time to think. He remembered the name you picked if the baby were to be a girl, Hajime. He laid Hajime beside him as Akamaru walked over slowly, sniffing. He laid down near Hajime with his nose close to her shoulder, but not too close.
*I hope you guys enjoyed my story if you made it this far. Hopefully, there weren't too many mistakes. I plan to write more fanfics. Feel free to give me ideas. I do Naruto, My Hero Academia. I might do others soon. No pedophilia, incest, and pee or poop or puke.*
#kiba x reader#kakashi x reader#kiba smut#kakashi smut#naruto#naruto smut#kiba x y/n#kakashi x y/n#angst#fanfic
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JK Stationhead Radio 3 October 2023
So nothing too interesting happened in this Stationhead. Well, not as much as we had in the previous two.
JK came a little later than planned, like 10 minutes late, tired after practicing.
He starts with this:
So that's the schedule he was being all sus about?
Sorry, but I'm still not buying it.
Well, in the sense that there is something else he was being all cheeky about, that is.
I wonder.
He answered a comment about his TikTok post and delete.
Plausible deniability. Said it once, will say it again!!
He wanted to copy the trend. So why do the opposite then? Doesn't care it's being posted everywhere? I'm thinking like he knew it would be even if he deleted...
JK was complaining he isn't sleeping well. Super tired. Definitely suffering from insomnia.
JK continuing the LOVE YOU motif from yesterday is trying to say it in different languages. He tries with papago. He tries this in several language, struggling. Like, a lot.
The whole time he's being so cute and adorable and then he wonders why he's called cute by army...
Lol.
After he's done, exhausted from his language lesson, lol, he starts reading comments again.
Interesting.
So the other content we know that's been filmed - where will be seeing that?
Ate chicken again: "at this point it's an addiction, haha".
Seriously, some fans need to learn about boundaries.
We have an approximate timeline for the live tomorrow (although JK being JK is not committing to that one hour, lol).
And they continue...
Ok, we did get some Jimin crumbs, lol.
He reads out a comment asking that the live today will be with Jimin.
And this?
He's so damn cute, lol.
Bammy!!!
likes short sleeves in summer and long in winter.
Boundaries lesson time.
and...
JK comments about the weird comments... again, boundaries being crossed:
Fucking seriously!!!
But still JK is his own flirty self.
I wish fans would understand that he isn't actually hitting on them.
I'm sure that's not what he tells JM's mom though!! Lol.
JK was asked about a solo tour - answered he'd like to.
And then we have this:
This episone:
And this one too, lol:
And that basically was when he said his goodbyes.
I'm sure I missed a few things, but as I mentioned, nothing of importance (I hope, lol)
So, not too much. A little of JK flirty, a lot of JK cute, some Jikook crumbs, and too much perv fans.
Now we count the hours to:
a. Golden pre-sale opening.
b. JK's live tonight.
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trust me - billy hargrove x reader.
“billy you cannot be serious right now? you’re going to believe them over me? really?”
you were mad, mad and upset. your boyfriend of almost a year now had approached you after school with a scowl resting on his handsome features and an extra stomp in his step. he had laid into you the second he saw you, instantly accusing you of being some kind of two-timer who was cheating on him with his mortal enemy (his words).
when you asked him where he got all this from, he told you carol and tommy had told him during lunch.
“they’ve seen you (y/n), riding around with steve all hours of the day! like on saturday, when you were supposed to be helping out your grandma with cleaning out the attic. we had to cancel our date for that!”
those bastards, only happy when there was some kind of drama going on. you knew that was the only reason they’d told him, not because they’re good samaritans who thought billy deserved to know. no, fuck that. they wanted some free entertainment and billy was stupid enough to give them that.
yes, you had been out with steve a lot lately but there was absolutely no funny business going on. you knew lying to billy was an awful thing to do, but what were you supposed to do? tell him that you were secretly trying to figure out how to save hawkins before a big monster came out from another dimension and began possessing everybody one by one? hard pass.
“come on billy, you know i wouldn’t do that to you. i love you for christ sakes, do you not trust me?” you questioned the teen, who stood in front of you still looking as pissed off as ever. but you couldn’t really blame him, if you’d found out he’d been sneaking around with another girl and feeding you lies about where he was you’d probably be pissed off too.
“i do! well i did, until now. what were you doing with harrington, huh? why did you cancel our date to be with him?”
you let out a frustrated sigh, pushing your hair from your face with force. “look, i know how weird this all looks and i don’t blame you for feeling the way you do. not at all. but i need you to trust me billy, please. i can’t tell you what we’re doing, not yet. but i promise you, cross my heart and hope to die that there is absolutely nothing going on with steve and i. or any other boy in hawkins for that matter. i love you, i want to be with you. nobody else.”
maybe six months ago billy would’ve scoffed, before he continued to argue with you and accuse you of going behind his back. perhaps even call you a few names before he disappeared somewhere and gave you silent treatment for a few days. but he had changed since then, with your help he had learned to listen instead of reacting instantly.
so, after a few beats of silence he nodded. he still looked agitated and on edge, but he had visibly calmed down a whole lot which in return, calmed you down just the same. you sent him a grateful smile, taking a step closer to your boyfriend and wrapping your arms around his midsection.
with your chin resting on his chest, just under where his chain sat you looked up at him. “thank you. i love you so much, you know that right?”
“of course i do, i just wish you’d tell me what the hell is going on.” he instantly responded, one of his hands reaching down to trace your jawline.
“i will, eventually i promise. it’s just a lot to take in and i don’t think right now is the perfect time for all of it. but you will know, soon enough, what’s going on.”
it obviously wasn’t the perfect scenario, billy was now more eager than ever to find out what you were hiding. but with confirmation from yourself that you were not cheating on him with the ex king of hawkins high, he could relax having complete faith that you wouldn’t lie to him about something like this.
“okay.” he nodded once again, “okay. i’ll wait.”
-
omg hi !! this is my first time posting in over a year, i know it’s short but i wanted it to be like a little ‘hi i’m back’ type of post. i have three other (longer) works in the making, and i am considering re-writing my same, but different series because i left it at an awkward place and i’d rather start it again than continue it. but yeah that’s all i have to say, i’m back!
#billy hargrove x reader#billy hargrove imagine#billy hargrove fluff#billy hargrove fic#billy hargrove one shot#stranger things fic#stranger things x reader#dacre montgomery imagine#dacre montgomery x reader
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┊Special Brew
Kinda stressed out when writing this, and I've been thinking about what it's like to get a bartending job so here we go. Honestly feel like turning this into a smalll series.. If i suddenly post smut please forgive me
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Content: DILUC X GN!READER, flustered diluc, slowburn, you got a bartending job at angles share!
[diluc's speech will be Bold!]
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.
.
A successful interview, you gotten news that you're accepted to work at angles share as a bartender! It's exciting and nerve wracking at the same time, you've actually landed a job in one of Mondstat's biggest wine company. What were the chances of that? Has luck finally found you?
You clocked in at 5 pm getting ready for your shift, in the back changing into your work attire when you heard someone come in the room. Turning around, a tall man with red hair with his back facing you, he seems to be clocking in too. Zoning out for a moment thinking who this might be until a voice snapped you out of it.
" ..hello there? You alright? It's time to get to work now"
Blinking frantically, you realized you were staring at them the entire time, how embarrassing. Giving a quick nod before bolting out. Thankfully this evening wasn't all too busy, after serving the last few patrons you went back to thinking who you just saw. Was he a newbie? He seemed so familiar.. wait no it can't be-
Your train of thought is once again interrupted, this time was a gloved hand waving slowly in front of you to grab your attention, seems like they were calling out to you for some time now. You looked up, it's the same man from earlier again, this time you finally realized who they were.
"ah yes- sorry if i interrupted anything there but..."
Your head went blank. Master Diluc Ragnvindr, the very owner of dawn winery, is here working with you on your first day. You thought everything was over, fuck Fuck FUCK im gonna get booted for this... You faced him and almost wanted to start apologizing when he stopped you,
"M-master Di.. I mean, boss, I'm so sorry for-"
"Now now, it's alright... Just don't do that again."
You blinked a few times before looking around the tavern. It was completely empty. That's weird... You looked at the time to check and it's practically midnight, way past when you're supposed to leave work now. When did the time go by so fast? Seems like Diluc was there to urge you to go home at this point.
Averting your attention back to diluc, now at the back tidying up wine bottles, wiping excess glasses and mugs.
"say.., do you usually stay back so late to do clean up?"
"onlyy when i feel like it. I'd ask the same to someone who decided to stay past their working hours."
You let out an embarrassed cough, "I just caught up with thinking...! I'll get going then."
Scurrying to the back room to put away the work attire and getting ready to head home, you peek outside of the door to see if Diluc is still around. What you didn't know is that he's right behind you, did you not notice him coming in the room after you?
He's joining you in looking out the door, his head just slightly hovering above yours.
"Is there something to look out for?"
The sudden whisper got you stumbling out of the room, Diluc tried to catch you but failed, now looking at you with just as much shock, the both of you now caught in surprise and now looking at each other. Diluc was quick to lend a hand for you to get up, you take it while embarrassment is written all over your face.
"I truly apologize for scaring you just now... I .. thought you knew about my presence.. are you hurt?" His tone sounds flat but genuine, scanning your body as you stand up.
"I-it's alright! Im fine- ... Just a bit surprised.. thank you."
Why am i fucking up my first day right in front of the owner?? Now I'm really done for.. Giving him a light bow, wishing you could just run out of the place this instant. You were assuming he'd start giving you a lecture of some sort, which was proven false when you heard him chuckle.
"You're quite something aren't you? Well get going now, the night is quite dangerous." That comment got you flushing a faint red. Leading you out the tavern door, both of you walk out as he locks up the door to angle's share.
Cool air blew against your face as you stepped out. Looking around, the city was dead silent. You couldn't help but feel uncomfortable because of it. Diluc walked up besides you and noticed how nervous you seem.
"You alright there? Would... You want me to walk home with you?"
"o-oh, wouldn't that be too much of a hassle? It's quite late and I could never take up more time from you..."
"Well it being late is exactly why, I'll be fine. It would be quite a waste to have a brand new employee disappear on the first night."
You don't know if he's being sarcastic or not, but giggles escaped your lips regardless. Diluc not knowing what's so funny got a bit flustered by your reaction and looks away.
"..you may lead the way then, I'll follow behind."
You thanked him, but he seems to be avoiding eye contact with you now. Did I do something wrong..? The whole walk was pretty awkward with how little talk was going on, it couldn't be helped anyways, Diluc always seemed to be the preserved type, this should be natural.
Though what you didn't expect is how.. clumsy he was. Tripped a few times over some tree roots, clearing his throat ever so often, sighing. Looking back at him and you'll be met with a red haired man, quickly looking away and averting his gaze else where. It was quite dark so you couldn't really see anything, is he alright?
The road became more familiar to you now as you kept walking,
"ah! Almost near my house. Thank you for walking with me-"
"yes. O-of course.. my pleasure." He replied a bit too immediately, he sounds nervous.
After seeing you reach the front door, he quickly turns away before you could say anything else. You wonder if you'd be able to face him the next day with how you acted during work, hopefully he doesn't come in tomorrow...
(1/?) · [Pt. 2]
Xtra notes: reading angst and now continuing this ....feels so unreal. I need to stop that. Cover art by me! @ on it is my Instagram handle :3!
Pls remember i will only write when i feel like it, so no continuation time frame
#gender neutral reader#gender neutral y/n#genshin fluff#genshin impact#genshin impact fluff#gn reader#diluc x reader#diluc x y/n#diluc ragnvindr#genshin impact diluc#genshin diluc#diluc x gn reader#diluc x gender neutral reader
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More on the youtuber au... (from this art)
Ok don't kill me but it's also a soulmate au. and because I've been drafting it for a long time and it might be good while before anything finished sees the light of day, here a detailed synopsis.
So...we can start with Alfred. He lives with his brother who is getting fed up that he's late on rent each month. It's been months since Alfred's graduated high school and maybe he'll enroll in the community college but he doesn't really know what he wants to do. He's just been working odd jobs. The best he can do now is at the pizza joint, which is always sure to never give him enough hours to go full time. But it's ok, because when he's not doing that he's making youtube videos.
He and Kiku would make them as kids, and now he's giving it his all, trying the cinnamon challenge, posting videos of him playing minecraft and crazy Dota moments. He's really hoping something will take off. But it's hard. None of his shit gets any views. Not nearly as much as the most fucking annoying youtuber: Arthur Kirkland.
He makes the most basic ass lifestyle videos like "my boyfriend does my makeup" and "going to high tea" or "animal crossing house tour" shit. Why millions of people care about that pip pip cheerio fuck is beyond him.
Something about him just irrationally ticks him off. Maybe it's because he doesn't seem deserving of fame. Maybe because Arthur has many times been petty and gotten involved in twitter spats that just make him look bad. Maybe it's because he's weird. In every video, he always wears gloves. He never takes them off, and he always dodges questions about it.
On r/KirklandSnark some people have picked up that he always wears long sleeves, too. The leading theory on the sub, which became such an often repeated and heated topic that Alfred banned discussion on it, is that he's hiding his soulmate mark. That it extends from his hands onto his arm. (Alfred's theory however is that he does it to seem eccentric for views)
But maybe it's true, maybe it's not. Alfred's gut tells him that Francis is not Arthur's soulmate. Alfred has noticed Arthur does share a lot about his life but he is also closed off in a lot of ways. Yet making a video on the topic of soulmates would only benefit Arthur. Youtubers talking about which soulmate mechanism they have, or how they met their soulmate; people eat that shit up. Because all the unmatched young people want to imagine themselves meeting their soulmate and how magical it could be, or they want to figure out which soulmate mechanism they will have.
Alfred doesn't openly admit it but he has spent way too much time watching videos like that. Can you blame him though? For being nineteen and never having felt any connection to his soulmate? If they even exist?? He has never woken up with words on his skin nor felt any sensation that wasn't his. Never seen a glimmer of a red thread out of the corner of his eye nor found any mark on his body that might tie him to another.
Meanwhile he has to sit on the bus and bear witness to strangers bumping into each other and freaking the fuck out about it because they said each other's words. They don't even carry barf bags on buses did you know that?
But Alfred doesn't want to give up hope. Someone is out there for him.
Arthur Kirkland on the other hand?
The topic of soulmates brings him misery. Soulmates are a blight. They are bloody inconvenient. Why should he be destined to anyone? Doesn't he have a choice? Will his dense as bricks soulmate every stop cheating on tests?
He was ten when the first ink appeared on his skin. He remembered how profound it felt. To watch the scribbles bloom over his arms and palms. He knew what it was, and he wrote back a simple reply. An introduction, his name.
The lack of response was the first step to his disillusionment with the whole thing. By the time he was in year 10 he resolved to stop looking. It was easier to cover up his hands to avoid catching whatever drivel his soulmate wrote or drew. They seemed dead set on ignoring him, and Arthur grew tired of wondering why his messages didn't seem to go through.
Occasionally he wouldn't be able to avoid it. The year Arthur tried uni was when the cheating started. First it was chemistry formulas and the next year it was math equations, all crammed under his navel in an absurd number of rows. Sometimes he caught the to-do lists written on the back of his hands. Things like "ch.2 east of eden" or "socks 4 matt". He tried to avoid catching those things, knowing that going down that path of trying to figure out who Matt was would drive him insane. But based on the spellings, he was sure he was American. And that was enough to put Arthur at ease.
His soulmate was far far away, and Arthur could be free to live his life and tend to his overly massive youtube channel (the one that afforded him a flat in London, dates with Francis, and even a meeting with the queen. (Never mind that the meeting with the queen was almost a disaster, that in the car before they set foot on the grounds he watched Francis's eyes grow in horror as they stayed glued to his brow, watching a crude sharpie penis appear on his forehead. Francis tried to scrub it off even, despite Arthur's protests (soap never worked, ever), but in the end an obscene amount of makeup saved the day.)
It was a lot to ignore, but continuing on despite it all was all he ever knew. So he entertains himself with his channel, savors the good moments with Francis, and occasionally indulges in the strange people who try to start drama with him online.
And this is where Alfred's "Why Arthur Kirkland SUCKS" video comes into play. Because Alfred's finally had enough of the mediocrity. And he just goes for it. Buys a stupid fake fancy hat and suit from party city (And of course his stupid gloves!), and rants to the camera about everything that annoys him about the guy.
"All his fans just like him for his stupid accent. Being hot and british is not an excuse for a personality! Look at me! I'm Arthur Kirkland and blimey the other day I had the spiciest cracker! Think they might have put salt on it!"
And Arthur has no qualms about ripping back into Alfred. It's only fair because Alfred certainly didn't hold back. Arthur's response video is fairly successful, and Arthur moves on from it, happy with the chatter it generated and satisfied that he out-roasted that git, while Alfred is so extremely shocked that Arthur responded to him that a week goes by in the blink of an eye and when he finally goes to check out the subreddit he's been neglecting, he locks every post discussing the video and finally approves the guy who had been bugging him to be the second moderator (some guy named Peter). It's simply too weird to see discussions about himself, and maybe the whole dedicated subreddit was a little too much...?
But back to Arthur, part of his decision to make the video came from its convenience. It was easy to make while he was moving. He moves to the US for Francis's career, settling in Chicago (and you'll never guess where Matt and Al live). They break up when Francis wants to move on (Arthur thought it was perfect to be with someone whose soulmate was dead, because then he could never complain about his own situation, but here's another thing that didn't work out).
Arthur finds himself living out of hotel, drinking too much, and on one night, ordering pizza. Alfred isn't normally the guy who delivers, but after the normal driver clocks out early, his boss forces him to deliver this order some asshole put in ten minutes before close.
It's very strange when he knocks on the hotel door, and Arthur Kirkland answers, fully clothed and gloved, staring back at him with a similar shocked recognition in his eyes.
...
crazy right. not going to say what happens in the hotel but I'll say that Alfred goes back home to his couch, dreams a peaceful dream instead of his frequent nightmares, and Arthur finds himself surprised that he wants to see his internet hater again.
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sleepover | j.k
you and johnny try to have your first sleepover. key word try.
warnings: mentions of drinking and smoking, suggestive content, getting interrupted, the jackass guys are shit starters, fluff
word count: 4.1k
a/n: this is the first sleepover fic from my poll that i never posted :)
tags: @asskickedbygirl @kristinee (lmk if you want to be added!)
— —
"Oh my god. It's almost three in the fucking morning." You groaned as you suddenly caught a glance at the oven clock in Johnny's kitchen as you were passing by. "I have a 30 minute drive home."
"The rest of us are staying. Just crash on the couch or something." Dave said as he tossed his beer can into the trash from across the room. When he saw the look on your face, he rolled his eyes. "It's only gonna be weird if you make it weird."
"I just don't want to like...push it further than it is." You fretted, taking a small drag off the cigarette between your fingers before blowing a thin tunnel of smoke towards the ceiling.
"You're pushing what?" Suddenly Ryan was in the room too, and he could clearly tell that you were gossiping. Dave just shook his head.
"Y/n’s too pussy to have her first sleepover with Knoxville." He filled Ryan in, yawning as soon as he was done speaking and starting to back out of the kitchen towards the hallway. "Everyone else is going to bed, man. Better make a decision sometime soon."
"Oh, you're too pussy? What, because he hasn't called you his girlfriend?" Ryan teased, decent enough to keep his voice down to prevent alerting the entire house of your conversation. You punched his shoulder, giving him a dirty look.
"Shut up. I don't care about that." You did, in fact, care about that, but he didn't need to know that. You and Johnny had slept together quite a few times now, and you were more than comfortable together, but you had yet to actually have that talk, or ever actually spend the night at each other's houses. It had just never come up.
"Whatever you say, man. I'll bet good money if you tell him that you're driving home now he'll just tell you to stay over." Ryan muttered, rolling his eyes like yours and Johnny’s situationship annoyed him. You were about to open your mouth and say how stupid that was, when suddenly the man of the hour himself was coming into the kitchen with Bam behind him.
"—just look for goddamn blankets. I'm too tired to go rootin' around for you." He was saying irritatedly, waving Bam off like an annoyed dad as he discarded an armful of beer cans into the trash.
"You're the worst fuckin' host ever." Bam grumbled, walking by you with eyes that lit up and then plucking your cigarette right out from between your fingers. "Why thank you."
"I'll help you look for blankets." Ryan was clearly trying to get you and Johnny alone, because suddenly he was shouldering Bam away from the kitchen, along with your cigarette.
"Seriously?!" You snapped, throwing a hand in the air as they both snickered their goodnights and disappeared from view. Which left just you and Johnny.
"You're not thinking about driving home this late, are you?" He asked as soon as Ryan and Bam were out of earshot. You shrugged.
"I don't know. I'm not sure I want to be sleeping on a couch in between Dave and Ehren all night." It was just a ploy to get him to invite you up to his bed, and you could tell by the way his eyes lit up that he caught on. He shook his head.
"Sleep with me. I've got a king." He had a good-natured grin on his face, and you were glad he wasn't aware of the way your heartbeat picked up by tenfold at his words. He winked. "It'll be our first sleepover."
That had you convinced, and then you were letting him lead you up to his bedroom, which you’d only seen a handful of times in passing. The lights were off, but he only turned on a small lamp in the corner once you got inside, leaving the room dimly-lit by orange light as you closed the door behind yourself.
"You want something to wear?" He asked softly, startling you a bit as you sat down on the edge of his bed. You looked down at the jeans and tight shirt you were wearing, and immediately nodded. Even if you had been wearing something comfortable, you weren’t about to pass up an opportunity to wear Johnny Knoxville's clothes.
Soon a Ramones shirt with the sleeves jaggedly cut off was handed over to you, and then you were watching Johnny strip down to his boxers while you did the same. It felt so mundane that it was almost comfortable. Almost, except for your racing heart.
"You know, this is nice. You here means no drunk assholes are going to try to crawl into my bed in the middle of the night." Johnny pointed out as he peeled back the covers, flicking the lamp off before he was crawling underneath. You could still see him pretty well even in the darkness, and you could see that he was holding an arm out for you to crawl in next to him. You laughed.
"Hey. I'm one of those drunk assholes, so technically you didn't win." You teased as you crawled into bed after him, surprised at how comfortable his mattress actually was as you laid down next to him. There was space between you, but he was reaching his arm out to grab your hand before you could even fully register it.
"Are you nervous?" He asked suddenly, voice quiet like he was convinced that he was going to scare you. You let out the breath that you had been holding, nodding. Usually you felt pretty comfortable in his presence, but right now you felt like you were going to throw up.
"A little bit." You admitted, raising your eyebrows as you let him bring his hand forward until it was pressed against his chest. You could feel his heartbeat, and you smiled softly when you realized that it was going even faster than yours.
"It's okay. I am too." He reassured you gently, that smile never leaving his lips as he held your hand against him. "Never had such a pretty girl in my bed before."
Instead of replying, you moved closer to him and pressed your lips to his, your hand that was on his chest sliding up to his neck until you were holding the back of his head. God, you liked him a lot more than what was good for you.
"Once you get me in, I'm never leaving." You warned, kissing him a couple more times and nipping at his bottom lip. "I don't have a memory foam mattress."
"Oh, you poor thing. Guess I'll just have to keep you forever, then." He replied with that grin still on his face, his smile sticking no matter how many kisses you gave him. "In my bed, where you can't get away, and you're not wearing any pants."
"Sounds promising." You snickered, seconds before he was kissing you again, his fingers working their way into your hair. You now felt a lot better about being in his bed, and even more so when you felt his hand slip under your shirt.
"God, I've wanted to fuck you all n—"
"Fuckin’ shit!" Suddenly the bedroom door was being thrown open, and Bam, who had been the one who shouted, was bolting through the room and into the attached bathroom. You and Johnny broke apart in surprise at being interrupted, both looking at each other momentarily before you turned on your other side to look towards the bathroom, where you could now hear the suspiciously familiar sounds of throwing up.
"Bam! What the hell are you doing?" You called, not quite committing to being a part of whatever problem he was having but also not about to continue letting Johnny Knoxville feel you up while he was 10 feet away.
"Fuckin’…throwing up. What does it sound like?" He called back snarkily, more puking sounds following his voice. "I think we got food poisoning."
"From what?" Johnny joined in, not sounding very convinced. You had all been drinking for almost eight hours straight, so the idea that Bam was throwing up for a reason outside of alcohol was an unlikely one.
"I don't know, man, but there's like three other people puking in all the bathrooms downstairs so I had to come up here." Bam explained in a hoarse tone, the puking ceasing for a minute as you heard his head hit the wall softly. "What? Were you two like, fucking or something?"
"Well not anymore." You grumbled mostly to yourself, sitting fully up in bed and letting out a deep sigh. "Do you want me to like, get you something?"
"No. Just—shut up for a second." He groaned, as if he wasn't the one that was imposing on your alone time with Johnny. You turned to the other side of the bed to give Johnny an are you hearing this? look, and he just shook his head.
"You need me to hold your hair back, Bam Bam?" He then decided to add some fuel to the fire, basically singing his words as he leaned over you to get a look into the bathroom. You sighed, because you knew this was going to turn into an argument as soon as you saw Bam stick his head out of the bathroom with a glare on his face.
"I will kill your fuckin' face. Shut up." He snarled, wiping his mouth with his sleeve as he spoke. You wrinkled your nose, because you knew for a fact that he was going to be disgusting in the morning when everyone else got up around one in the afternoon. "I hope you can smell the puke."
"Bam." You groaned, silently urging him to stop being such a fucking dick. You were trying to get a good make-out/fucking session going, and he was severely ruining your chances. "Can you like, hurry up or something?"
"Give me a second." And then he was ducking right back down to the toilet to throw up again. You huffed out a sigh, falling back against your pillow and then turning your head to look at Johnny. He was still on his side facing you, but you could tell he was more amused by the situation than impatient like you were. Who would've guessed?
Bam puked for a couple more minutes, during which Johnny called out occasional insults and jabs (which just encouraged Bam to shout at him through mouthfuls of puke), before he finally flushed the toilet and re-emerged, looking a lot shittier than he had when he'd gone in.
"You got a cigarette?" He asked you in a hoarse tone, once again wiping his mouth on his sleeve. You were glad he wasn't close enough for you to smell his what was probably putrid breath. You rolled your eyes, motioning to where your jeans were on the floor.
"Back pocket." You were mentally rushing him, but of course he had to take his sweet ass time. He bent down, grabbed the pack out, and then made a face at the Newport logo due to the fact that he smoked Camels. Picky little bitch.
Once he had grabbed *two* cigarettes, he got back up, then promptly got back up and walked towards you whilst pulling his wallet out of his back pocket.
"Payment." He explained. You grinned, because you thought you were about to get paid, only for him to pull out a small purple foil package and slap it into your palm. A condom. You threw a hand in the air.
"Seriously? I wanted a twenty!" You complained, accepting the condom regardless because you knew that there was no way either you or Johnny had one anywhere. Responsibility at its finest!
"A kid's gonna cost you more than twenty, so technically you're getting it." He said, jabbing a finger at you before he started to retreat towards the door. "If I hear you two, I'm pissing my bed and making you clean it up."
And with that he was gone.
"I'm gonna dunk a bucket of piss on his head while he's fucking sleeping." You grumbled as you turned back to Johnny, listening to Bam's loud footsteps on the stairs as he disappeared towards terrorizing someone downstairs instead of the two of you. Johnny just laughed, his hand sliding over your hip as he leaned closer to you in bed.
"I want a bucket of piss dumped on my head if you're doing it." He teased, only laughing harder when you made a face and pushed his hand away for that statement. "Alright, alright. I'll save that for later when I'm writing bit ideas."
"Good. I'll make sure it's Steve-O’s piss, just for good measure." You shot back, giving him a pleased smile when it was his turn to make a face. But, despite that, you reached out and pulled his hand back to your hip, making sure to tuck his fingers underneath the waistband of your underwear as you looked at him pointedly. He clearly caught on, his eyes falling to your lips as the tips of his fingers began to massage the bone of your hip.
"Stay over tomorrow after everyone leaves." He requested softly, moments before he dropped his head down to your neck and began to mouth soft kisses at the line of your throat. You smiled, because that meant that you didn't have to immediately get up and rush out of his house once everyone woke up the next morning.
"Okay." You agreed, letting out a soft gasp as he sucked at a particularly sensitive part of your neck. You could always tell he'd been drinking when he used a little too much teeth in his hickies than what could be considered gentle.
His fingers that were tucked in your waistband had now begun to push your underwear down, his lips not leaving your neck as he got them about halfway down. You were pushing down his boxers at the same time, and as your fingers worked with the fact that he was lying in a weird position, you managed to kick your underwear off and onto the floor from underneath the comforter.
"Stop biting." You whined when he nipped particularly hard at your shoulder, laughing despite and then, in turn, pulling him into a fit of laughter as well. You were never able to get through anything seriously after you’d both been drinking.
"What? I thought you liked that." He crooned as he moved over you, resting on his elbows as he caged you down into the mattress with his entire 6'1 frame. You just rolled your eyes and pulled him into another kiss (so that he'd stop biting you), wrapping your legs around his waist and silently trying to urge him to get to fucking you a little faster. He lifted his head after a second. "Where's the condom?"
"Here." You were nearing the verge of breathlessness as you handed him the condom from where it had almost slipped under his pillow, trying to speak as fast as possible so that you could quickly get his lips back on yours. However, just as he was ripping the foil package open with his teeth and handing you the condom to put on, suddenly the door slammed open.
And, with that, in waltzed Pontius and Steve-O. Drunk off their fucking asses.
"We need a place to sleEp!" Steve-O literally sang each word of his sentence in a high falsetto, and you had about half a second to literally remove your hand from your boyfriend's dick before they were both toppling down onto the foot of the bed. Steve continued his singing. "And everywhere else is takenNn!"
"No fucking way. Get the hell out." Johnny said sternly, not moving from his place on top of you half because he clearly didn't plan on allowing them in the room for long and half because Steve-O was lying directly on top of his legs.
"There's nowhere else to sleep. And we missed you." Pontius whined. They were clearly completely oblivious to what they had just walked in on, and you could tell that getting them to leave the room by this point was going to be like trying to get gum out of hair.
"You just saw us like, ten minutes ago." You sighed in contempt, silently giving up and setting the condom you had been about to unravel down on the nightstand with an irritated huff. Pontius was looking right at you, and his eyes zeroed in on the condom.
"Were you guys about to get busy?" He looked shocked at the prospect, and Steve-O groaned as he heard the words out of Pontius' mouth. You stared at him for a second, jaw set harshly as Johnny managed to get his legs free enough to get off you so that he was sitting in bed next to you.
"Yes. About made it to the main event, too." He grumbled, motioning to the unused condom as he gave both of them a pointed stare. Steve-O let out another disgusted groan, and Pontius sighed like the fact that they'd interrupted you saddened him.
"Damn. That's too bad." And then he laid right back down on the bed, back pushed right up to Steve-O's and head pushed up more so that he was lying directly between you and Johnny in bed. Great. So now there were drunk people in bed with you, and no physical way for you to even get to each other. Just your fucking luck.
"Please. Make yourselves comfortable." Johnny said in a tone that was about the opposite of welcoming, giving you a look that made you worry for Chris and Steve-O’s safety when you would finally all come back to work. He stretched his arm out against the pillows, reaching just far enough so that your cheek could rest in his palm.
"Thanks, dude. You guys are like, the best." Steve-O mumbled in a heartfelt tone. He then reached up and grabbed Johnny's free hand with his eyes closed, lacing their hands together and then just holding them there at Johnny's side. You could only hold a stoic front for so long, and that was your breaking point, causing you to have to muffle laughter in your boyfriend’s palm as Johnny gave him a look to kill. Steve-O then sighed in content. "I love you guys."
"I love you too, bro." Chris replied in a half-asleep haze, reaching out blindly towards him and ending up just half-assedly patting him on the head. They were so fucking ridiculous when they got drunk. It didn't help your laughing that Johnny had just let Steve-O keep holding his hand. He shot you a dirty look.
"I'm glad you're enjoying this." He spoke in a tone full of snark, rubbing his thumb across your cheek despite his clear irritation at the fact that you were laughing at something that was so clearly funny. You wrapped your fingers loosely around his wrist, shrugging it off.
"I'm still sleeping in your bed." You reasoned, forced to talk over Steve-O, who had already fallen asleep and was snoring due to the fact that he was sleeping on his back with his head tilted upwards. Then, to make things a little better, you nudged Chris. "Chris. Come sleep on the other side so I can sleep by PJ."
"Yeah...okay…" He barely even had the strength to reply, but somehow managed to get around you and to your other side so that you could scoot up close to Johnny in bed just as he finished turning off the only light in the room before you threw your arm over his waist. He still looked a little annoyed, but he had been tired before, and being in a warm bed with a lot of warm people probably wasn't helping.
And then, to add on to it, you felt your side being crushed, at which you realized that Chris had just rolled basically on top of you, and was breathing like he had already fallen asleep. You let out an irritated sigh.
"You need to install a lock on your door." Your voice was strained due to Chris' weight, and you didn't even know if Johnny was actually awake enough to hear you, but you had to complain to somebody. However, he was clearly still conscious, because he huffed out a silent laugh.
"Happy first sleepover." He cheered dryly, shifting his arm so that he could slide it under you. His other hand was still in Steve's death grip, but he rubbed your arm with the one that he still had. You wriggled a little bit until you had slid partially out from under Chris and completely in Johnny's personal space, glad that neither of your guests had tried to get under the blankets due to the fact that neither of you still had underwear on.
You knew sleeping was going to suck ass, because there was a good chance that someone was either going to piss themselves or end up invading your personal space even more, but you made peace with your fate, instead trying to focus on the fact that you were pretty sure this was the closest that you had ever been to Johnny in your life.
Which is why, within a few seconds of your eyes meeting, you were kissing again, you rising up onto your elbows from where you had been lying on your stomach with Pontius still sprawled out across your ass as Johnny's hand raked all of your hair back just rough enough to make you gasp slightly. However, that had been a mistake apparently, because soon the silence of the room was being crushed by a ridiculously loud groan.
"Stop fucking making out. I can hear your tongues." Steve-O's beyond-slurred voice followed his groaning, and you turned your head very slowly to glare at my half-asleep friend who we had clearly just woken back up. If you hadn't been trapped under Pontius, you would've reached your leg over Johnny and kicked him in the fucking head.
"Go to sleep, you fucking douche." You snapped, temper rising once more at the copious amount of being interrupted by your cockblocking friends.
"If you two piss in my bed, I'm going to rub your faces in it like bad dogs." Johnny was laughing while he said it, but you didn't doubt his threat, and you knew that Steve-O didn't either. When there was a beat of silence, Johnny sighed in satisfaction. "Both of you go to bed. Quiet game."
Even that was kind of funny, and after a moment of both you and Steve-O giggling at Johnny scolding you like a parent, he shushed you like one, too. After that, it really was quiet besides the sound of Chris snoring like someone was trying to suffocate him. You were kind of glad that it was dark in the room now, because Johnny would've definitely started a fight if he could've seen the way that Chris was sleeping with his head resting directly on your ass. You weren’t sober enough to care, or agile enough to reach behind yourself and shove him off.
"I love you guys so much. Like, for real. I wanna sleep in your bed forever." Steve-O was talking again before it had even been silent for a minute. He was slurring so badly you could barely understand what he was saying, but Johnny was closer, and he responded first.
"Love ya too, you fuckin' asshole. Now go to sleep." He muttered, sighing again and then doing his best to turn into a more comfortable position with both you and Steve-O so close to him. You grinned to yourself as he settled with his chin resting on top of your head.
"I'm not saying 'I love you'. You’re pissing me off." You added onto Johnny's response towards Steve-O, yawning through your words as he began to run his fingernails gently up and down your back. He was going to put you directly to sleep on top of his arm if he wasn't careful.
"Suck a dick." And those were the last words uttered for the night from your lovely friend. You somehow ended up being the last one to fall asleep, which was unfortunate considering you were the only one in the room who didn't snore, but being snuggled this close to Johnny was helping at least slightly.
All in all, your first sleepover was...a failed success. You had met the objective, which was to sleep in his bed with him throughout the entire night for the first time ever, but you hadn't exactly imagined the first time was going to be with two of your shared best friends on either side of you.
But oh well. At least you still had the condom for when everyone eventually left the next morning.
#johnny knoxville#johnny knoxville fic#johnny knoxville x reader#jackass#jackass mtv#jackass imagine#jackass movie#steve o#chris pontius#bam margera#ryan dunn#dave england#this one was making me giggle while i was writing it
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