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qqueenofhades · 6 months

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Hello! This is kind of a weird ask, I'm sorry to bother you, but seeing as you're a very intelligent studied historian that I deeply respect, I was hoping you could offer some advice? Or like, things i could read? Lately, i feel like my critical thinking skills are emaciated and its scaring the shit out of me. I feel very slow and like I'm constantly missing important info in relation to news/history/social activism stuff. Thats so vague, sorry, but like any tips on how i can do better?

Aha, thank you. There was recently a good critical-thinking infograph on my dash, so obviously I thought I remembered who reblogged it and checked their blog, it wasn't them, thought it was someone else, checked their blog, it also wasn't them, and now I can't find it to link to. Alas. But I will try to sum up its main points and add a few of my own. I'm glad you're taking the initiative to work on this for yourself, and I will add that while it can seem difficult and overwhelming to sort through the mass of information, especially often-false, deliberately misleading, or otherwise bad information, there are a few tips to help you make some headway, and it's a skill that like any other skill, gets easier with practice. So yes.

The first and most general rule of thumb I would advise is the same thing that IT/computer people tell you about scam emails. If something is written in a way that induces urgency, panic, the feeling that you need to do something RIGHT NOW, or other guilt-tripping or anxiety-inducing language, it is -- to say the least -- questionable. This goes double if it's from anonymous unsourced accounts on social media, is topically or thematically related to a major crisis, or anything else. The intent is to create a panic response in you that overrides your critical faculties, your desire to do some basic Googling or double-checking or independent verification of its claims, and makes you think that you have to SHARE IT WITH EVERYONE NOW or you are personally and morally a bad person. Unfortunately, the world is complicated, issues and responses are complicated, and anyone insisting that there is Only One Solution and it's conveniently the one they're peddling should not be trusted. We used to laugh at parents and grandparents for naively forwarding or responding to obviously scam emails, but now young people are doing the exact same thing by blasting people with completely sourceless social media tweets, clips, and other manipulative BS that is intended to appeal to an emotional gut rather than an intellectual response. When you panic or feel negative emotions (anger, fear, grief, etc) you're more likely to act on something or share questionable information without thinking.

Likewise, you do have basic Internet literacy tools at your disposal. You can just throw a few keywords into Google or Wikipedia and see what comes up. Is any major news organization reporting on this? Is it obviously verifiable as a fake (see the disaster pictures of sharks swimming on highways that get shared after every hurricane)? Can you right-click, perform a reverse image search, and see if this is, for example, a picture from an unrelated war ten years ago instead of an up-to-date image of the current conflict? Especially with the ongoing Israel/Palestine imbroglio, we have people sharing propaganda (particularly Hamas propaganda) BY THE BUCKETLOAD and masquerading it as legitimate news organizations (tip: Quds News Network is literally the Hamas channel). This includes other scuzzy dirtbag-left websites like Grayzone and The Intercept, which often have implicit or explicit links to Russian-funded disinformation campaigns and other demoralizing or disrupting fake news that is deliberately designed to turn young left-leaning Westerners against the Democrats and other liberal political parties, which enables the electoral victory of the fascist far-right and feeds Putin's geopolitical and military aims. Likewise, half of our problems would be solved if tankies weren't so eager to gulp down and propagate anything "anti-Western" and thus amplify the Russian disinformation machine in a way even the Russians themselves sometimes struggle to do, but yeah. That relates to both Russia/Ukraine and Israel/Palestine.

Basically: TikTok, Twitter/X, Tumblr itself, and other platforms are absolutely RIFE with misinformation, and this is due partly to ownership (the Chinese government and Elon Fucking Musk have literally no goddamn reason whatsoever to build an unbiased algorithm, and have been repeatedly proven to be boosting bullshit that supports their particular worldviews) and partly due to the way in which the young Western left has paralyzed itself into hypocritical moral absolutes and pseudo-revolutionary ideology (which is only against the West itself and doesn't think that the rest of the world has agency to act or think for itself outside the West's influence, They Are Very Smart and Anti-Colonialist!) A lot of "information" in left-leaning social media spaces is therefore tainted by this perspective and often relies on flat-out, brazen, easily disprovable lies (like the popular Twitter account insisting that Biden could literally just overturn the Supreme Court if he really wanted to). Not all misinformation is that easy to spot, but with a severe lack of political, historical, civic, or social education (since it's become so polarized and school districts generally steer away from it or teach the watered-down version for fear of being attacked by Moms for Liberty or similar), it is quickly and easily passed along by people wanting trite and simplistic solutions for complex problems or who think the extent of social justice is posting the Right Opinions on social media.

As I said above, everything in the world is complicated and has multiple factors, different influences, possible solutions, involved actors, and external and internal causes. For the most part, if you're encountering anything that insists there's only one shiningly righteous answer (which conveniently is the one All Good and Moral People support!) and the other side is utterly and even demonically in the wrong, that is something that immediately needs a closer look and healthy skepticism. How was this situation created? Who has an interest in either maintaining the status quo, discouraging any change, or insisting that there's only one way to engage with/think about this issue? Who is being harmed and who is being helped by this rhetoric, including and especially when you yourself are encouraged to immediately spread it without criticism or cross-checking? Does it rely on obvious lies, ideological misinformation, or something designed to make you feel the aforementioned negative emotions? Is it independently corroborated? Where is it sourced from? When you put the author's name into Google, what comes up?

Also, I think it's important to add that as a result, it's simply not possible to distill complicated information into a few bite-sized and easily digestible social media chunks. If something is difficult to understand, that means you probably need to spend more time reading about it and encountering diverse perspectives, and that is research and work that has to take place primarily not on social media. You can ask for help and resources (such as you're doing right now, which I think is great!), but you can't use it as your chief or only source of information. You can and should obviously be aware of the limitations and biases of traditional media, but often that has turned into the conspiracy-theory "they never report on what's REALLY GOING ON, the only information you can trust is random anonymous social media accounts managed by God knows who." Traditional media, for better or worse, does have certain evidentiary standards, photographing, sourcing, and verifying requirements, and other ways to confirm that what they're writing about actually has some correspondence with reality. Yes, you need to be skeptical, but you can also trust that some of the initial legwork of verification has been done for you, and you can then move to more nuanced review, such as wording, presentation of perspective, who they're interviewing, any journalistic assumptions, any organizational shortcomings, etc.

Once again: there is a shit-ton of stuff out there, it is hard to instinctively know or understand how to engage with it, and it's okay if you don't automatically "get" everything you read. That's where the principle of actually taking the time to be informed comes in, and why you have to firmly divorce yourself from the notion that being socially aware or informed means just instantly posting or sharing on social media about the crisis of the week, especially if you didn't know anything about it beforehand and are just relying on the Leftist Groupthink to tell you how you should be reacting. Because things are complicated and dangerous, they take more effort to unpick than just instantly sharing a meme or random Twitter video or whatever. If you do in fact want to talk about these things constructively, and not just because you feel like you're peer-pressured into doing so and performing the Correct Opinions, then you will in fact need to spend non-social-media time and effort in learning about them.

If you're at a university, there are often subject catalogues, reference librarians, and other built-in tools that are there for you to use and which you SHOULD use (that's your tuition money, after all). That can help you identify trustworthy information sources and research best practices, and as you do that more often, it will help you have more of a feel for things when you encounter them in the wild. It's not easy at first, but once you get the hang of it, it becomes more so, and will make you more confident in your own judgments, beliefs, and values. That way when you encounter something that you KNOW is wrong, you won't be automatically pressured to share it just to fit in, because you will be able to tell yourself what the problems are.

Good luck!

#coffeeandcoyotes #ask #school stuff #critical thinking

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think4fkinonce · 1 year

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Ok I'll bite....

...it's almost as if a system that makes artists rely on their work in order to survive is actually fucking us up more than a computer farting out some amalgamations of stolen art. I love the idea of being able to type out what I want into a computer and letting the computer draw it for me. But you know what? No matter how advanced it is or how detailed my input is, it will never ever 100% replicate what I want to create myself. It doesn't obviate my desire to create the thing I want to make the way I want it made.

And this has happened with artists I've commissioned. I didn't commission them to draw the image in my head. I commissioned them because I liked their art and wanted to support them specifically. I wanted art from them drawn with their hands. An AI can't do that either.

AI isn't the sole problem here. If artists could live comfortably and create what they want without relying on it, this wouldn't be nearly the problem it is now. Unfortunately, because humans are expected "earn" the right to exist in the world for some reason, it's always a race, struggle and competition to get ahead. I'm a fan of automating tasks to make lives easier. I'm also a fan of living in a society where hand crafted art with meaning is valued over some dull image an algorithm spits out. I'm not a fan of art being solely created (and mass produced) for money.

Do I think people should profit from their work? Yeah. But not where they have to rely on it to stay housed and fed. Not where they're backed into stealing art. Not when people do it out of greed and dishonesty either. AI is a neat tool that could be used to assist with art creation but like any tool, it can most certainly be abused. And with how undervalued art is already....you know damned well it will be abused.

You can usually tell when something is made for the love of the craft and when something was made for money. When you have more of the latter than the former, something is lost. And the sense for that is being lost here. Pick almost any cartoon from before 2000 and compare it to the dull cocomelon shit they put on YouTube. Yes, even the 30 minute toy commercial cartoons of the 80s had more creativity and feeling in them than much of today's modern kiddie content. People used to care. Now there's such an overwhelming saturation of content. Our attention spans are shorter than they used to be. You don't have time to take anything in without being bombarded with ads.

Then take a look at how social media algorithms treat artists. That's a different rant but it definitely ties into the main issue here.

AI, tech, social media be damned, everything is becoming about speed, efficiency and money. Seems like everyone's hurting for money and always short on time so it becomes about how fast and cheap something can be produced to generate more money. No time to worry about who you're stepping on to get it. That's what's killing real art.

Capitalism is the only thing enabling AI to 'replace' hand crafted art. I have said it before and I'll say it again: 80% of the world's problems are caused by capitalism and the other 20% are greatly exacerbated by it. The ethical issues about AI generated art span both of those categories.

I may be stirring a hornets nest by saying it but ai art isn't *the* problem. The frequency and purposes it's used for would be very different if the world wasn't being ran by greedy fucks who make us scrounge for scraps. If people had more time and energy to create things themselves, being able to put their heart and soul into a meaningful project, or even collaborate with other artists without anyone worrying about how they're gonna pay the bills, I don't think people would have as much use for something like that anyway.

#ai artist #ai art community #ai art discourse #ai #capitalism

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domers-group8 · 4 months

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Pavel - R&D Render Test

Last week I had done some R&D which I did not write a blog post about after sharing with my team, thus wanted to quickly add it to the record on here. I tested out the process of rendering out a 360 panoramic sequence from unreal in 8K quality, then taking it into Adobe Premiere and downsizing to 4k and exporting. Making sure everything is working correctly and thus eliminating any possible problems early on in this projects development. While also taking note of how long this took my computer. It took me 2 hours and 5 minutes to render 3 minutes of time. (Which is 4319 frames at 24 FPS).

I used a pre-made level for this test. Infinite Blade - Grasslands. Here is the result! (I cut down to only a few seconds, due to the large file size)

youtube

(Also, Erik made me aware of some AI tools by NVidia that could be useful to use for downscaling when the time comes, I've yet to test them myself yet).

There were a few issues I ran into, the first being with the shadows on some objects that the camera in scene wasn't facing. However, after closer examination, this did in fact match my scene. The reason was the sun facing the direction of those objects, when seeing the image in it's distorted view I thought there was an issue here but it was just my mind playing tricks on me. The second issue was the sun glints/reflections on the water. It seemed to create large flickering sparkles on the renders that were not present in my scene. I narrowed the issue down to being that the sequencer in unreal is re-loading some or all of the scene assets but was not able to find a quick and easy solution. My lecturer Neil Gallagher said to play with the "warmup" setting under anti aliasing when rendering the sequence, unfortunately this did not fix it. However, I have found a workaround, which is to very slightly increase the roughness of the water shader from 0.0 -> 0.1 (See right image bellow). This seemed to have solved the issue. Lowering the specular could further reduce this problem if needed.

Even though our animation does not have water, I wanted to debug this issue as I could imagine this happening with the windows on our spaceship/vehicle (which will have low roughness as well). Or even some other element that we don't know yet. That's all for now! Cheers.

References

Epic Games. (2015). Infinity Blade: Grass Lands. [Online]. Available at: https://www.unrealengine.com/marketplace/en-US/product/infinity-blade-plain-lands?sessionInvalidated=true [Accessed: 3rd February 2024]

pavelm. (2024). Render test 360 8k to 4k. [Online Video]. Available at: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2SFOTfVYWk [Accessed 3rd February 2024]

#Pavel Mamichev #R&D

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jisungscaramel · 4 years

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vexation | hyunjin

❀ genre; smut, college au, enemies au ❀ pairing; hyunjin x reader (fem) ❀ word count; 2.7k

[warning] strong language, explicit sexual content, dry humping, (mild) begging, hate sex

There it was: Hwang Hyunjin, name beautifully printed right above yours. You shuddered in complete disgust, not believing that you were paired with him of all people for your history presentation. There were 34 students in the class; that meant you had a whopping 97% chance of being paired with literally anyone else, but no. Your professor, Dr. Zhang, just had to pair you with him.

Overachiever: that was an understatement. He was the type to want all of the glory for the taking, the type to enjoy making others feel like they were dumb, the type who had no issue in forsaking common morals for his own gain.

You couldn’t fucking stand him.

Begrudgingly, you stood up from your original seat, trudging your feet to sit next to him - at your professor’s instruction, of course. You planned on at least being polite, and you thought for a second that he might do the same, but he didn’t even bother looking at you, staring through to the front of the room, eyes stoic. If he was trying to provoke you, it was definitely working.

You dropped your backpack to the ground, unceremoniously, sound drowning in the increasing levels of chatter in the small lecture hall, but clearly loud enough to make his composure teeter; his head jerked back a millimeter, a minuscule gesture but it was painfully obvious to you. And you let out an equally obvious slew of snickers before sitting back in the seat, neck meeting the old frayed fabric as you tilted your head back, arms stacking on one another as you folded them, woman spreading to occupy more real estate than you actually required.

You had to at least try to keep yourself amused.

Hyunjin began scribbling mindlessly on a blank piece of paper - still acting as if you were not even there.

He slammed the white sheet down on your knee, sending vibrations straight up your leg rather rudely.

Asshole.

Oh, baby, he hadn’t even started yet.

“Okay. We’re doing our paper on I-Hotel and… I’m gonna write it. All you have to do is find these books for me at the library.” He turned to look at you with a very aggravating smirk… maybe you’d notice the tiniest hint of flirtation if the feeling of overwhelming irritation didn’t encompass you.

But the chance passed when his countenance morphed into counterfeit concern, tapping his chin in contemplation for added effect, “although, I think the library’s computer system is down… I guess you gotta find them the old-fashioned way.” God, you just wanted to smack that smug grin right off his face. “I’d love to help you with that... but I’m just too busy…” It should’ve been illegal for intolerable people to be that gorgeous.

You blinked in complete confusion. “Ummm… excuse me?”

“I’m… sorry… do… I… need… to … talk… slower…?”

You gingerly picked up the piece of paper, promptly getting up from your chair, glaring at him. You made sure your backpack was secure on your shoulder before dramatically lifting the note in front of his face to tear what he wrote to shreds, scattering the bits over his laptop’s keyboard. “Stick a motherfucking cactus up your ass.”

You stormed out of that hall with your head high, not daring to look back despite your innate desire to see his response - you were sure it was priceless.

‘I’ll just have to do this damn thing on my own.’

Oh, if it could only be that simple.

The first thing that popped up on your laptop when you opened it from the safety of the library was an unexpected email.

Since you ripped up my list - rather rudely I might add - I’ve attached the list of the books I require. I will be at the library at four PM sharp. Please plan accordingly. Hyunjin

“Fuck.”

‘Plan accordingly,’ your ass, according to you, your plan was to minimize the amount of time you had to spend dealing with Hyunjin, and you had been 100% sure he had the same sentiment… so much for that.

Speaking of the devil, as soon as you decided to dismiss his outlandish request and settle in to get some of your research started, Hyunjin yanked your attention away from your laptop with merely his presence, almost as if your nerves were hypersensitive to his saccharine dipped aura, and most definitely not to the signature sway of his frame as he walked.

You didn’t dare grant him the luxury of your direct gaze. Instead, you kept a close eye on him in your peripheral, hoping you’d blend in with the people around you… but there was still at least a 92% chance he’d see you.

“Did you get my sources?” and now he was right in front of you, nothing but a measly table in between.

Your nostrils flared in an effort to not retort back at Hyunjin, eyes still fixed on your screen in a successful attempt to ignore him.

Then he pushed your laptop closed, hand planted firmly on the device rather invasively. “Excuse me, I’m talking to you.”

You gritted your teeth, tilting your head up in a menacing stare, eyes narrowing, eyebrows furrowing. “What do you want?”

God, you didn’t know his smile could get more fake than it already was. “I told you to get my sources for me,” his tone was exaggeratedly slow, “did you get my sources?”

You shoved his hand away from your laptop. “Get your own sources.”

Immediately his fake smile turned into a sincere snicker, rolling his eyes off to the side. “Uptight bitch.”

His words sank in for a moment. “You wanna say that again?”

He leaned over the table, face a mere six inches from yours. “Uptight,” you could feel your fists involuntarily clenching, digging into your palms what would soon be prominent crescents in a matter of seconds, “bitch.”

You almost raised your palm to gratuitously slap him across the face but the simmering mellowness in you kept a tight grasp of your boiling anger. You leaned back in your seat in an effort to widen the physical gap (or the lack thereof) between you. “Fuck off.”

<><><><><><>

“Hyunjin, y/n, can you both come down to the podium,” Dr. Zhang added at the end of his lecture, halting your plans to b-line straight to the library.

As the aisles began to empty, you made your way down the steps to the front of the room, purposefully standing at the side opposite of Hyunjin, frankly paying no mind to him for all intents and purposes.

Your professor glanced between you two, clearly noticing the oddity of the image but purposefully choosing to ignore it.

“I noticed that both of you submitted first drafts for your paper, and at first I thought it was an accident, until I opened both files and realized you’re writing completely separate papers. Care to explain?”

“Yeah y/n, care to explain?” What a fucking dicktard.

Your lips pressed into a thin line as you wracked your brain for some feasible excuse. “Well,” but nothing came to mind… oh fuck it, “we’ve had issues working with each other.”

Dr. Zhang raised an eyebrow cautiously. “Elaborate.”

“We really don’t get along.”

He sighed, crossing his arms. “Well you’re gonna have to try to find some middle ground. I’ll give you two a second chance to put a first draft together. If you can submit a collaborative piece by midnight, I’ll still give you full credit for that part. If not, it stays as a zero. Subsequently, you will keep getting zeroes for the following checkpoints if you submit them separately. Any questions?”

“No, sir,” much to your surprise, that was the first moment thus far wherein both you and Hyunjin were on the same wavelength.

“Good, that is all.”

You felt like two negatively charged magnets as you walked side by side up the aisle to the exit. “I’m not getting a zero for this,” Hyunjin spoke up.

You rolled your eyes. “At least we can agree on that.”

As the cold, crisp air of the outside refreshed your nerves, he lightly gripped your shoulder, swerving you to face him. “Look, I know we’re like oil and water, but I’m willing to at least try to get along for the grade.” His fingers trembled on your shoulder; his teeth lightly grazed his bottom lip, eyes searching yours for a sign of truce.

Needless to say, the sentiment from him was unexpected. You exhaled deeply, brushing his hand from you. “Fine.”

<><><><><><><>

But two hours spent alone in a library study room proved to be more difficult than originally anticipated. Trying to work together felt like pulling teeth - a true collaboration of absolute vexation.

“What about this passage?” You pointed to some text in a book you were sifting through.

He swiveled his chair around, only looking at your find for a solid half a second before, turning back around. “Nah, that’s not good enough to use as evidence.”

“What the fuck, Hyunjin? You didn’t even read it.”

“I didn’t have to. I assumed whatever you found was as subpar as everything else you’ve ‘found.’”

You dropped the book on the table with a loud plonk, partially in shock at what he said and partially due to a natural tendency to want to irritate him. “Well let’s see what you ‘found,’” leaning over the table in a relaxed manner, carrying a dash of nonchalance as you scrolled through his writing. “You call this good evidence?”

“What on earth are you talking about?” You wanted to laugh at his defensive tone.

“It’s obvious that you’re framing your own narrative by taking shit outta context. Not to mention all the ellipses and brackets are terrifically horrendous, visually. You’re taking literally all the credibility out.”

“What do you know? I doubt you even read that article,” he dismissed your legitimate critique in a manner you unfortunately predicted.

“As a matter of fact, I did… two. hours. ago. And you told me the article didn’t seem ‘reliable’ enough for you, but here you are… you must think I’m fucking stupid.”

The side of his lips curved up in the slightest smirk. “Not true, I think you’re annoyingly absentminded.”

You rolled your eyes for the umpteenth time in the past minute, whispering, “fucking cockmaggot,” under your breath, diverting your attention back to your screen.

“What did you just say?” His tone suggested he wasn’t being rhetorical - he really didn’t hear you. There was something cute and innocent about his ignorance, the way his lips formed a subtle pout unintentionally, nose wrinkling in distaste. You mentally shook the image from your head, cursing yourself for thinking he was… ‘cute’ to begin with.

“Nothing, My Liege, nothing at all,” mocking sarcasm spilled from your lips as you parted them to give them a disapproving smack. “This is complete shit; we can’t submit this.”

Hyunjin slammed his laptop closed, standing up abruptly. The action took you by surprise, making your neck shudder in a startle. “I can’t fucking do this anymore. Why do you have to be so fucking difficult?” Pent up rage was slathered all over his face, eyes twitching, eyebrows tightly knitting together, jaw unhinging from an excess of epinephrine.

His anger diffused to you, violently charging your nerves. There was no way you were just gonna take his shit sitting down. “Why do you,” you stood up, chair rocking back from the velocity of your limbs, “have to be,” you turned around and gripped his collar with both hands, “such an insufferable asshole?”

He was dumbfounded, wordless much to your satisfaction, but his eyes were unwavering, devoid of reaction. The time you spent stabbing each other with your unfaltering gazes felt like a goddamn eternity, tension coarse, sinfully tangible on your skin.

It was fucking stifling.

Before you even realized what was happening, your lips were latched together in a fervent frenzy, tension thickening for an entirely different reason now.

There was something so breathtaking about the way his lips tightened against yours - literally. It felt like he was siphoning your soul from your body - any thought that dared to grace your mind oddly dissolved into nothingness as Hyunjin molded your lips into submission, tongue colonizing your oral cavity in an authoritative manner that was so in character for him.

Not that you gave a fuck.

His hands aggressively tugged at your waist; the impact of your body crashing onto his sent pangs up your spine, and in seconds, your back thudded against the wall, maintaining the momentum. You had to grip his shoulders purely for support, and definitely not because you were immersing in the moment.

You felt his grip loosen as his hands roamed downward, playfully drawing patterns on your skin with his fingers en route. And then they constricted around your thighs, lifting them up to his hips, and you hooked your ankles around his back as if it was the natural thing to do.

The fabric of his pants became taut around the building frustration underneath, becoming oh so apparent to you when he started steady grinding against the thin fabric of your underwear - why did you have to wear a skirt today of all days?

You passed a reluctant whimper through his lips, wholly unable to deny the way your pulsing desire radiated heat through your core at the increasing friction.

You broke away from the kiss, gasping. “Hyunjin…” you whispered almost breathlessly, desperation filling you as he continued his tantalizing test of your patience.

“Hmmm?” There it was: that signature smug grin, but by this point, your senses were too preoccupied to even register it.

“I can’t take this anymore.”

“Is that so?” He lifted you off the wall, pushing your laptops to either side so he could lay you on the table, spreading your legs to give him clear sight of your dampening sex. He snickered. “You look much better like this…” While ghosting one hand around your inner thighs, conveniently avoiding the place you needed him the most, he undid the button and zipper of his jeans with the other, sliding them down to his knees.

You found yourself licking your lips at the silhouette of his bulge, now more prominent with less restricting fabric. Of course, he noticed; “so these are you true colors… I never would’ve thought you were such a dirty girl.” He brushed his fingers over the waistband of your underwear. “Where do you need me?” He pressed his thumb on your clit, “here?”

Your teeth pressed down on your lips in an effort to stifle a moan. “Yes…” and even though you were successful the first time, there was no stopping the sounds from seeping through your lips when Hyunjin slammed his clothed erection on you once more, picking up exactly where he left off just moments ago.

“Please, Hyunjin…” he pushed your thighs further apart, keeping them in place.

“‘Please,’ what?”

“I need you inside me, please.”

His sinister laugh filled the small room. “I don’t know if you deserve it.”

“Fucking asswipe.”

“Now that doesn’t sound very convincing…”

You groaned in pleasurable displeasure. “Hyunjin… please, I’m begging you. I really can’t take this.”

“Don’t you care if someone tries to come in?” He raised an eyebrow, partially in curiosity, mostly in amusement.

You glared right into his eyes. “No.”

He shook his head, clicking his tongue as he stood back. “Get up.” Any urge you had to defy him before was long gone; you did as he asked and he harshly turned you around by your waist, pushing you toward one of the windows.

While pushing you down against the glass with one hand, he reached in his front pocket with the other, grabbing a condom. He ripped the packaging with his teeth, skillfully sliding his boxers down to slip the vinyl over him.

Not wanting to wait any longer, you aided him by pulling your panty down leaving yourself completely exposed for his taking, and you quickly pushed your hands on the glass, bracing yourself for the next few seconds, but nothing could’ve prepared you for that stretch that came. Your wrist slid down on the window pane to bite back a scream.

“So tight.”

><><><><><><><

A/N I’mma be honest: I had a fucking field day coming up with all those weird insults

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bisexualcrowley · 4 years

Text

Undercover

Pairing: Harry Hart x Fem! reader

Summary: While doing surveillance at a gala, Y/n and Harry's identities are threatened to be uncovered and they take to a rather intimate method of hiding their faces

Content/warnings: smutty themes? nsfw, fluffy stuff, cursing, suggestive themes, semi-public foreplay/teasing, making out, Merlin’s still alive bc i want him to be

Word count: 3,729

“A Gala. In the middle of winter, this means I might have to fight in heels, is this really necessary Merlin?” Y/n sighed, glancing out at the light drifting of snow that had begun to flutter down from the sky. Its not that she had anything against winter, the woman mused to herself, just that it makes this sort of work so much more difficult.

The year had been tough enough already, having lost Harry to Valentine, getting Harry back, the whole issue with the Golden Circle, and the constant stress was getting to Y/n, the smallest thing now able to piss her off, and unfortunately for her, this latest mission seemed to be more than a small thing. “C’mon Y/n, i know we all could use some rest but this is important, the target is threatening to release catastrophic amounts of classified government information. I’m not asking you to be on the front line here, I just need you and Galahad on the sidelines, more as surveillance and backup than anything else.”

Y/n had been less than impressed with Merlin’s words, wanting to stay as far away as possible from field work until she had gotten a decent amount of sleep, but her ears perked up at the mention of her best friend and previous partner at Kingsman.

“You’re letting Harry in the field again?”

She asked, surprised at the man’s words. “I thought you said he wasn’t ready yet, after the problems he had while working alongside the American agents.

“Not fully, as i said, the two of you will just be keeping tabs on him from the crowd, not making contact unless absolutely necessary.” Merlin must have picked up on Y/n’s eagerness to work alongside Harry again and allowed himself a slight smile as he spoke, sliding the paperwork across the table to the younger agent. “This place is fancy, i mean really fancy, you’re gonna want to look your very best. Go over his papers today and be here dressed and ready at 20:30 tomorrow. And I mean it, y/n, be dressed to kill, in more than just the metaphoric sense”

Most of her annoyance having melted away at the mention of Harry, Y/n agreed, taking the papers and shaking Merlin’s hand before turning on her heel and jogging down the hall of the Kingsman offices, hoping to find her friend. Luckily Y/n didn’t need to search far, finding him in the actual tailor section of the building being fit for a tuxedo.

Y/n caught Harry’s eye in the mirror in front of him and she shot him a grin, leaning casually against the door frame. “Lookin’ good, Galahad. Excited to be headin’ back into it?” She asked, affection shining in her smile at the sight of Harry Hart suiting up for battle once again.

It was no secret among many of the Kingsman agents that Y/n had fallen hard for the man, her feelings becoming clear to them when Harry was shot as she had broken down in tears at the news despite being one of Kingsman’s toughest agents, however she did manage to keep the secret from Harry himself, terrified of losing the relationship they already had by revealing her feelings only to find that they weren’t reciprocated.

Eggsy and Merlin, of course, had required a fair amount of bribery to be convinced to keep their mouths shut, finding the whole situation more than amusing and wanting nothing more than to spill the beans to Harry, whom they were fully convinced shared y/n’s feelings. Y/n didn’t crack though, and eventually the men had settled on the childish teasing of Y/n and placing bets on who would make the first move. Eggsy had put 50 pounds on Y/n cracking first, but Merlin put his money on Harry, having said something about Eggsy underestimating the woman.

At the moment, despite her refusal to share her feelings with Harry, Y/n feared that Eggsy was going to be the one to win the wager as she felt her heart beat faster at the happy smile Harry had offered her in return. “Looking forward to be working alongside you again, Y/n, it’s been lonely without my partner”

Y/n felt her face heat up at the compliment, but determined not to let her resolve fail she once again held back the words she wanted so badly to tell her friend, instead choosing to push herself off the doorframe and saunter over to Harry’s position in the center of the room. “So... A gala. Haven’t done one of these together in ages, have we.” Y/n’s hand came to rest on Harry’s shoulder, still not having broken their eye contact through the mirror. “It has been a while, although luckily, I never forgot how to dance”

Y/n’s confident exterior faltered at his words, tilting her head to the side and eyebrows furrowing in confusion. “We have to dance?” She asked, voice coming out far quieter than she had hoped. Harry let out a very ungentlemanly laugh at her shock, turning his gaze from the mirror to meet his friend’s eyes properly. “I’d assume Merlin didn’t tell you for this very reason, y/n” He chuckled. “We’d stick out too much, standing in the middle of a ballroom. To draw the least amount of attention to our position, we’re gonna have to dance”

Y/n froze for a moment, weighing her options. On one hand, she thought, I’m dancing with Harry. On the other hand, i’m dancing. In public. What a terrifying thought, i should just tell Merlin i won’t do it. But if i don’t do it, i don’t dance with Harry.

She squinted slightly, fighting herself for which option was better, but in the end decided that the upside of pretending to be Harry’s date outweighed the negatives in the situation, and after another moment of hesitation, Y/n nodded, nervously drumming her fingers on the man’s shoulder.

“Alright then. If we’re gonna dance, we’re gonna do it right. I’m gonna go find a dress, i guess. See you tomorrow, Galahad” Y/n breathed, a hint of humor making it’s way into her words as she went on, which to her luck Harry picked up on, and replied with an exaggerated salute, earning him a giggle and smile from Y/n before she slung on a coat and took off again.

Lucky for her the London streets were nearly empty, most seeking cover from the bitter cold within the comfort of their homes, and the trip to her own home was quick for Y/n. Almost immediately upon arriving, she threw open the doors of her closet, flicking through hanger after hanger of clothes that Merlin would be less than happy about her wearing to such a prestigious event. It appeared that luck was still on her side, however, as Y/n paused, pulling out a dress previously hidden behind a thick winter coat. It was beautiful, a slim gown of deep green velvet with a loose, plunging neckline and thin black straps with a shimmering gold woven throughout, and y/n smiled, knowing it would be perfect for the following night.

The next day passed quickly, Y/n having to study the target’s file, shower, do her hair and makeup, fit a variety of concealed weaponry on her person, and what felt to her like a million other things, and it felt like no time at all before she found herself outside the Kingsman Tailor shop, glittering heels clicking along the icy sidewalk leading up to the building. Y/n reached for the door handle, shivering slightly in the cold but was met with the door swinging open in her face, Merlin staring down at her with Eggsy, Tequila and Harry behind him.

“Y/n, you’re late, c’mon, there’s a car waiting in the back, c’mon lets go” Merlin ushered her along, the group rounding the building to find a black towncar waiting in the alley. It took a bit of maneuvering to fit everyone into the vehicle, coats bunching up in the small space, but eventually the group situated themselves in a somewhat comfortable fashion, and they were off.

The drive was longer than Y/n had expected, but no time was spent relaxing, having found herself rather distracted by her body being pressed against a very well dressed Harry, the cramped space forcing her leg to shift up onto Harry’s so that she was sitting partially on his lap, a position that had the both of them blushing furiously and Tequila chuckling from Harry’s left.

Hoping to distract from the uncomfortable and unfortunately mildly arousing way she was seated, Y/n leaned forward to peer past Harry and raised an eyebrow at the American agent, who in return mimicked her expression, which brought a mix of annoyance and amusement to the still blushing woman. “Mind if i ask why Harry was forced into the middle seat? Last time i checked, i’d fit a fair bit better” Y/n asked, Harry humming in agreement with her statement.

“Why, you wanna sit on my lap instead?” Tequila smirked, earning a snort of laughter from Eggsy and Merlin in the front seat and a glare from Y/n, where Harry shifted uncomfortably and blushed harder.

Y/n’s snapped back, but her retort was cut short at the feeling of the car slowing to a stop and Merlin leaning over the drivers seat to run over the night’s details one last time.

The plan went smoothly from then, Eggsy and Tequila positioning themselves near the main doorways and Merlin settling himself behind a computer, leaving Harry and Y/n to shed their coats and make their way further into the ballroom. A string quartet was set in the middle of the north wall, playing what y/n recognized immediately to be a slower rendition of the seal lullaby, and she fought the urge to twirl around a couple times, instead smoothing out her dress and holding out a hand to Harry.

“Well Mr. Hart, may i have this dance?” Y/n spoke calmly, careful to avoid appearing overly enthusiastic so as not to draw unnecessary attention to the pair, but the warmth shining in her eyes was undisguisable to Harry, who took her arm with a smile and led her to their position in the ballroom.

The image of the two Kingsman agents settling into a graceful mix of a waltz and a simple slow dance was reflected off the marble floors, creating what would have been a beautiful photo had there been a photographer near them and y/n relished in the moment, hand clasped with Harry’s, his hand pulling her waist to his as they swayed to the music.

Harry caught Y/n’s eye as he caught her after a spin, a grin breaking through his character that made her heart flutter. The song slowed to it’s end and the couple for the night paused, the taller figure dipping y/n and freezing, their faces inches apart. Y/n felt her breath hitch in her chest, heart pounding at the intimate position they had paused in.

Her eyes met Harry’s again, the latter panting slightly, his pupil dilated and face flushed red, and dear god it turned Y/n on. Biting her tongue to hold back what would have been a rather humiliating moan, she rested her weight into Harry’s arms, allowing herself a second to catch her breath. As the next song began, Harry shook himself out of whatever state he was in and pulled y/n back up against him, resuming the dance like nothing had happened. Y/n, still flustered, tried to distract herself by shooting a glance towards their target, who had moved from lingering by the side entrance to scanning the crowd from a nearby refreshment table. As the song reached a peak Harry spun y/n around again, but this time around her heel caught on the seam of her dress and she stumbled, accidentally turning away from her partner. Quickly righting herself, Y/n returned to her previous stance, but not before making brief yet intense eye contact with the man they were watching. “Shit... Merlin do you have eyes on the target? I might have just fucked us over” Y/n’s voice came out in a hoarse whisper, eyes blown wide with horror at the prospect of ruining Harry’s first real taste of action since the Golden Circle incident.

“Hang on, hang on, don’t abort mission yet” Merlin muttered through her earpiece, y/n hearing the clacking of keys as the older agent fussed with the security cameras

“Fuckin hell, Galahad, Y/n, he’s coming your way. Hold your position, we don’t blow your cover unless we’re 100% sure he knows who you are. Keep dancing, but don’t let him see your face”

Merlin’s voice cut across the earpiece again, and by the way y/n felt Harry's shoulders tense she knew he heard the message too.

“Shit, what do we do?” she hissed back, watching her partner risk a glance to the left and finding the target moving smoothly through the crowd, eyes set on the couple.

“Keep dancing, stay inconspicuous for as long as possible, if we’re lucky he’ll just pass on by. Now i’ll say it again, don’t let him see your bloody faces.” Merlin’s voice was low, and Y/n couldn’t stop the nervous feeling they caused from setting in as she watched the man grow nearer out of the corner of her eye.

“Merlin i don’t know what you expect us to do here if it’s so imperative we don’t move from this spot, we can’t just-”

Y/n tuned out Harry’s urgent whispers as a solution came to mind, eyes widening at the ridiculousness her own mind had come up with, but not seeing a better solution she shushed him, placing a finger over his lips.

Harry looked confused but went along with it, cocking an eyebrow in silent questioning and giving her shoulder a soft squeeze as the man drew closer, nearly close enough to get a good look at the pair, and y/n knew she had to make her move. With a quick whisper of “forgive me for this Harry”, Y/n brought her hands up to cup her friend’s face and pulled him into a kiss. Harry froze momentarily, his jaw tensing in shock before he followed her lead and returned the kiss, their lips moving against each others perfectly in sync and y/n couldn’t keep herself from sighing into the kiss, unconsciously pressing her body closer to his.

Harry deepened the kiss, his hands moving to thread through her hair and a vague thought reminded Y/n he was just helping to conceal her face, but it was shoved quickly to the back of her mind with a particularly passionate movement from Harry which she met enthusiastically. Her hands inched upwards to tug at his perfectly styled hair, which earned Y/n a low moan against her lips, and she pressed closer again, unconsciously slipping her leg between Harry’s. She felt his cock twitch against her thigh and all thoughts of what they were there to do flew out the window, one hand clasping at the collar of his tuxedo’s jacket and the other cupping his cheek, pulling his face down to her own.

Feeling bold, Y/n made a move to nip at Harry’s lower lip but before she had the chance, they were interrupted by a more than amused Eggsy clearing his throat beside her. The pair flinched in surprise and pulled quickly out of the heated embrace, leaving Y/n wiping speared lipstick from her face and fixing disheveled hair, Harry somewhat discretely adjusting his clothing to hide the now quite sizable bulge in his trousers with a deep blush across his cheeks and Eggsy watching from the side, eyes tearing up from the effort of holding in his laughter.

“Merlin says good thinkin’, Y/n. The two’ve you were a bit busy to notice but Tequila got the guy, he went down nice n’ quiet, we’re supposed to get to the car as soon as possible” Eggsy had a shit eating grin plastered across his face as he spoke, which only got wider when Y/n gave Harry an awkward smile, which he returned briefly before shoving his hands in his pockets and staring down at his shoes.

Snickering, Eggsy escorted the pair through the crowded room and through a series of side doors, which after a seemingly unnecessary number of hallways led to a back exit where the towncar that had brought them to the gala was waiting. Dreading what was sure to be an uncomfortable conversation with Harry, y/n winced at the thought of how inappropriate her actions towards her friend were, and she moved to open the passenger side door but was stopped by Eggsy once again, who flung open the door and threw himself in next to Merlin, who quite to her displeasure shared Eggsy’s smirk.

Y/n’s eyes locked with his, silently pleading to switch seats but her weak attempt proved to be in vain as Eggsy winked and pointed over his shoulder to the back of the car, where Harry was already seated. Y/n glared at Merlin but didn’t argue, and took a deep breath before sliding into the car, which to her luck was no longer so cramped due to the third agent having stayed behind with the target. The space was still smaller than she would have wished, but the cover of darkness provided a touch of comfort that y/n was endlessly grateful for.

Shadows crossed across her legs as the car rolled into gear, Merlin driving out of the alley and beginning the long journey back to the Kingsman headquarters. Y/n sighed, leaning her head against the window and closing her eyes, hoping the cold glass against her skin would help to drown out her racing thoughts.

Much to her dismay, however, they had been traveling for less than ten minutes when Eggsy turned around, leaning over his chair with the same wicked smile stretched across his face as he had worn before.

“So, you two had some fun t’night, didntcha?” Merlin let out a snort of laughter from beside him, Eggsy nodding his head suggestively between the pair in the backseat. Too tired to come up with a snarky reply, y/n simply rolled her eyes at Eggsy, and went back to working up the nerve to say something to the uncharacteristically silent figure seated beside her.

The realization that Harry was rarely this quiet around y/n outweighed her fear of confrontation, concern for her friend pulling her focus from Eggsy to the older man, and she turned to face him. Harry was sitting stiffly, hands clasped in his lap and head straight forward, but he must have been watching y/n out of the corner of his eye, as he looked to the side to meet her eyes when she turned from her position by the window to look up at him.

In that moment, the car was silent aside from the low rumble of the engine, the tension between the two growing from tolerable to an absolute peak, hanging thickly in the air between their bodies. It was thick enough, apparently for Eggsy to pick up on it, and with a chuckle about “giving you two some privacy”, he pressed a button beside his seat that caused a black divider to come up behind him, separating the front from the back of the car and leaving Y/n and Harry in silence.

Both Harry and Y/n stayed frozen in place, faces turned to each other and her eyes locked on his. Hesitantly, y/n placed a hand on Harry’s knee, a motion that years of friendship had taught him meant she had a lot to say, but didn’t yet know how to say it, and Harry nodded, the silent exchange sharing more than words would be able to.

“...I... I’m sorry, Harry, i shouldn’t have...” Y/n’s voice was low, barely above a whisper as she spoke, trailing off as the words caught in her throat.

"No, y/n, it was my mistake, i just...” Harry's voice faltered as well, fingers coming up to fuss nervously with the strap of his eyepatch, a habit y/n had noticed Harry picked up when he felt flustered.

Neither of them knew what had happened; one moment they were sitting in silence, y/n’s hand on his knee and tension high, and the next moment y/n found herself being pulled into Harry’s lap, her hands once again tugging at his hair as they met again in a heated kiss. Her dress had hiked up to her hips at this point, allowing Y/n to straddle her lover properly, and this time she didn’t hesitate to grind down against him, Harry’s hands coming to grip her smooth hips as she rubbed her barely covered sex along the bulge in his trousers, both letting out groans of pleasure at the friction.

Harry’s fingers trailed down y/n’s body as they made out like horny teenagers in the backseat, moving from her hair down to cup her covered breast, and down further to trace along the slick fabric of her panties. Y/n whimpered at the touch and moved to return the favor, her own hand coming to palm at his cock through his pants, at which Harry gasped and yanked her down onto his lap once again, hips thrusting up to grind against y/n’s cunt.

She moaned against his mouth once again, pulling away for just long enough to strip off Harry’s coat and unbutton his shirt before returning to her position on his lap. The two were so caught up in the moment that they didn’t notice the car pulling up to the curb and stopping, however they did take notice to the door flying open and the flash of a camera, followed by Eggsy’s delighted voice and a deep laugh from Merlin. Embarrassed, y/n quickly tugged her dress back into place and slid out of the car, holding out a hand for Harry to take as he climbed out, looking as red faced as y/n felt.

“Go on, buggers, we took you to Galahad’s place. I’ll find out who won the bet tomorrow, go have some fuckin’ fun.” Eggsy laughed at their dumbfounded expressions at his words, but chose not to respond, instead returning to his seat beside Merlin who drove off a few seconds later, leaving two very sexually frustrated agents on the sidewalk.

“Well then... Wanna take this inside?”

#harry hart smut #kingsman smut #kingsman imagine #kingsman fluff #harry hart x reader #harry hart imagine #harry hart fluff #wlm imagine #fanfic #oneshot #kingsman the golden circle #kingsman harry

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xxdragonwriterxx · 3 years

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🔥I’m Done Playing Games So I’m Going Down in Flames (Mafia AU)🔥

A/N: Okay so I’ve been reading a lot of Mafia AU’s lately and now I’m obsessed. I’ve always loved this AU but some amazing recent fics have revived my soft spot for them so I decided to give a shot at my own! If you want some absolutely top notch Mafia AU Levi fics to read, go read the stuff from @mysteriousmagicx and @ackermans-freedom-inc! They both have fantastic work all around and inspire me all the time. Thanks for the support and enjoy!

🐉 Song Recommendation: “The Search” By: NF 🐉

~~~

‘Damn, she’s still working isn’t she?’ Levi thought as he looked up from the crime thriller he’d been reading, his brow furrowed as he glared at the closed door of their bedroom, waiting for his girlfriend to finally come to bed with him.

He glanced at the clock and sighed when the little red numbers told him it was already 3 AM. While he greatly admired his girlfriend’s work ethic and stamina, always getting everything done efficiently, he also hated it. She tended to let her responsibilities take over her life, working until she collapsed and neglecting to take care of herself until every project was done for the day, which unfortunately, always seemed like a never ending list.

Levi got up, determined to get her to relax, even if he had to force her to. He was worried about her, her boss dumping way more work than usual on (Y/N) as the company she worked for struggled to overcome a recent financial obstacle. He knew it was important to her, and he definitely didn’t want her to lose her job, but this was the sixth night in a row in which she hadn’t slept more than an hour or two and it was starting to get on his nerves.

He missed having her warm presence in bed with him, lulling him to sleep when his insomnia normally troubled him until the early morning hours. He missed waking up to her sleepy smile and half-lidded eyes, her gaze filled with love as she gave him his good morning kiss. He missed seeing her bright eyes and energized personality, going on runs with him or laughing as she cooked something mouthwatering in the kitchen. Now, (Y/N) could barely do more than give him a tired kiss on the cheek when she trudged home from the office before collapsing on the couch in a desperate attempt to catch up on sleep, only to wake up an hour later to continue her grueling assignments.

Slipping into the hallway, Levi padded quietly through the dark until he reached her office door, the golden light spilling out from underneath it and the sound of clacking computer keys floating through the wood. Raising his fist to the door, Levi knocked three times and waited as the sound of typing faltered only to be replaced by the sound of her chair scraping along the wood floor.

When (Y/N) opened the door, Levi had to stop himself from wincing. She looked absolutely drained. Her skin was paler than usual, almost sickly in the golden light, her cheeks were sunken in a little, her cheekbones protruding from her face as if someone was stretching her skin, and dark circles made her look as if she had been punched, displaying her exhaustion under her eyes clearly for anyone to see.

“Hey, Levi, I’m almost done, okay? Then I’ll come to bed, I promise,” (Y/N) said with a tired smile, fighting back a yawn, not even needing him to speak to know why he was here.

“(Y/N), you look like shit,” Levi said.

(Y/N) smiled wider at his blunt response and shook her head at him with a chuckle. “Thanks, Levi, I try.”

“I’m serious,” he said. “You look so tired I don’t even know if you’re really awake. You could be sleep walking for all I know.”

“I know,” (Y/N) sighed. “But I have to finish these reports before tomorrow, otherwise my boss will kill me. Why don’t you go back to bed? Try to get some sleep? I’ll meet you there soon, I promise.”

“Join me in twenty minutes. If you’re not done by then, I’m dragging you there and tying you to the bed.”

“Oh, how forward,” (Y/N) teased.

“I mean it, I’m not letting you kill yourself over work. You need to sleep and if that means forcing you to relax, then that’s what I’ll do.”

(Y/N) nodded, her shoulders slumping as she made her way back to her desk. She knew she needed to go to bed, and she wanted more than anything to snuggle up to Levi and let his warm protectiveness lull her to sleep, but she also wanted to make sure she had done the most she could possibly do before she retired for the night.

Settling back into her desk chair, (Y/N) almost felt like crying in frustration as she woke her computer up again, envying the damn machine for getting more shut eye than her. She could feel Levi watching her from where he was leaning against the doorframe, his intense gaze burning into her back, but she ignored the urge to cave and started typing again.

After a few moments, Levi eventually left again, closing the door behind him as he mumbled something about keeping his promise of dragging her away. (Y/N) smiled despite herself at her boyfriend’s antics, his love and concern for her giving her the strength to keep working.

________________________________

Levi scowled at (Y/N) over the rim of his tea cup, frowning at the dead look in her eyes. He had eventually gotten her to come to their room the night before, but he knew she had tossed and turned for a significant portion of the night, thoughts about her job and the stress that came with it, keeping her up.

He wanted desperately to help her with it, to maybe even take some of her workload for her so she could finally get some damn rest. But he didn’t know anything about budgets and profits and organizing trade deals. (Y/N) worked for a company as their assistant manager, making sure everything ran smoothly and handling the organizational parts of running a business, which was where the majority of her work came from. His annoyed growl made her glance up at him, the low noise snapping her out of her zoned out state.

“Everything alright, Levi?” (Y/N) asked sweetly, blinking a few times and digging into the bacon and eggs in front of her in an attempt to wake herself up more.

“No, it’s not. You’re working too hard and I’m worried about you.”

“I know,” (Y/N) said softly, her fork dropping to hang limply from her fingertips so she could twirl it on the edge of the plate. “But unfortunately we are going through a rough patch right now in the company, so I’ve been having to work double time to make sure things get back up to speed. Assuming it gets better, I’ll be able to relax more when things calm down. My boss is just panicking at the moment, so I’ve needed to step up to provide her the support she needs to get us through this, which means extra hours.”

Levi knew what she said made sense, but he still couldn’t help being unhappy about it. He missed when (Y/N) was lively and bright-eyed, telling him about her day and giving him the affection he pretended to find annoying. Hugging him, kissing him, combing through his hair with her fingers, and smiling because she knew he loved it anyway. Grunting in acknowledgement, Levi took another sip of his tea before reaching for a strip of bacon, attempting to ignore the unusual silence that filled the house.

Levi wished he could be there to support her more. She obviously wasn’t taking care of herself, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her back to bed and snuggle with her, ignoring her protests as she only put in half the effort to escape from his warm embrace and go back to work. But he too had work that day and didn’t have time to slide back into bed with (Y/N), no matter how tempting that may sound. As if someone was reading his mind, his phone rang and when he looked at the number, he nodded to (Y/N).

She nodded back. She knew when he nodded to her that it was a work related call for him. She watched as he stood from the table and made his way into the other room, his voice echoing back as he told the person on the other line to stay on target until he got there. Standing up, (Y/N) put away their dishes as Levi hung up and made his way to the door, grabbing his jacket on the way out.

(Y/N) gave Levi a quick hug and a sweet kiss on the lips right before he walked out the door, waving to him as he made his way to his sleek black car and drove off. She watched until he was nothing more than a black speck in the distance before shutting the door and immediately heading back to her office to finish her work.

___________________________________

Levi was sitting on the couch, his hands clasped together with his elbows on his knees as he poured over the papers on the glass coffee table at his estate, his eyes narrowing on the text.

“Fucking idiot. At this rate, we’ll have no choice but to face him,” Levi muttered angrily, glaring at the photos and documents in front of him.

Erwin sighed from the arm chair across from Levi, his fingers reaching up to rub at his temples where a headache was starting to build. “I know, but you know he won’t stop, not until he gets what he wants. If we keep dodging this, it could lead to some major territorial issues, should another group decide we are being too lax with our borders. We need to put an end to this, right now, before it gets even worse.”

“But doing so will put us in the spotlight, Erwin,” Levi countered. “You know as well as I do that, although being famous in the criminal underbelly has its perks, being well known outside of that bubble can be detrimental. If we go through with what Zeke Yeager is requesting, we will be completely exposed; to the media, to the public, to the police. It’ll be a slaughter, and we’ll have to give up our territory anyway.”

“I know,” Erwin muttered, slouching in his chair. “But we have a similar outcome if we don’t follow through with his demands. He’s got us cornered, and he is obviously willing to go to any length to make sure we cooperate.”

Levi growled and glared at the photos again, the images making his heart pound. While he was alarmed at the sight of them, he was not surprised that the photos were of (Y/N). He had tried his very best to keep her out of his mess, to keep her bright light from being swallowed by the darkness he ruled, but he knew realistically that there was no guaranteed way to keep her safe. Alongside the photos of (Y/N) were also photos of Erwin’s lover Emily, her smile beaming as she took a walk on a beach or had a lunch date with (Y/N), the two of them having been friends since high school.

He hated to admit it but the photos were proof. Both he and Erwin were most definitely cornered, Zeke taunting the two powerful mafia bosses with the safety and survival of their respective lovers as if it were a game. Levi wished he were strong enough to fight against Zeke, to come off as unaffected, but he wouldn’t risk (Y/N) for anything. No matter what happened, if it guaranteed her life and safety, he would comply. He supposed that made him seem weak, something that would’ve made his past self scoff in disgust, but he couldn’t change how she made him feel and how unconditionally he loved her. If protecting her meant the end of him, either as a mafia boss or in life, then so be it.

______________________________

Levi didn’t let himself regret anything as he shouldered on his jacket, his eyes roving over the things he’d laid out on the bed in preparation for this meeting. He knew he should probably be trying to think of ways to outsmart the rival mafia leader, finding ways to kill him and continue expanding like he had been doing for the past several years. But as he packed the few things from the estate he thought he would need, his thoughts were only focused on his gorgeous lover, her warm smile and contagious laughter filling his senses.

He sighed. He knew she wouldn’t understand, and he feared she would do something rash in response. But he trusted Hanji, the only one he had told about this meeting aside from Erwin, to keep her safe for him. He tried not to think about it too much, what (Y/N) might do when she found out about what was about to happen. She had left early for work that morning, giving him the perfect opportunity to write her a lengthy letter telling her how much he loved her and how none of it was her fault. He knew the letter was far from adequate in explaining everything to his beloved girlfriend, but it would have to do.

Strapping a single small pistol to his belt, Levi gave his room one last glance before pushing through the door, nodding to his members as he passed them in the hallways. All of their expressions were grim, all of them knowing the same thing. Today would be Levi’s last. While nobody said anything to their leader, their hearts were heavy as they watched him leave. Despite what they did for a living, Levi was well known amongst his subordinates for caring for them in his own way, always protecting them the best he possibly could and offering council when necessary.

Levi could feel their eyes on him but he spared none of them a glance aside from the occasional nod or slight wave. He didn’t stop to talk to anyone, even Erwin, who he’d convinced to stay behind to protect the estate, just in case Zeke used this as an opportunity to take over the powerful crime syndicate. Levi was willing to give up his life to protect (Y/N), but that didn’t mean he was willing to wave a white flag either, refusing to bow to this cowardly piece of shit just because of his threats.

Levi pushed through the glossy wooden front doors and slipped into his car without looking back, only looking up to give his driver the address Zeke had given him after a brief interaction over the phone. The sleek black car pulled out of the drive and picked up speed after sliding through the large open gate, the passing trees flashing by in a blur. Levi looked out the window for a minute, his silver eyes taking in the beauty of nature for what he assumed to be the last time, the sun glinting through the leaves of the trees to dapple his lap with sunspots. He saw rolling hills and glittering streams and children playing in the park, their laughter echoing temporarily in his ears before the speed at which they were moving snatched the sound away. He saw a big dog chasing a ball and immediately thought of (Y/N), quickly swallowing the sudden lump that formed in his throat.

She had always wanted a dog. The two of them had lived together for long enough that they had started to talk about it, but Levi had always shied from the idea, not excited in the least about having a messy, loud animal in the house with them. (Y/N) had teased him but had never pushed the issue, aside from the one time she had offered to get him a cat if he got her a dog, shoving down her disappointment and respecting his wishes for cleanliness. Little did she know, despite his attitude, he had secretly been excited to share something like that with her, wanting nothing more than to see her beaming smile as they picked a furry friend to love together. He wished he had done something like that with her sooner. Now, she was going to be in that house all by herself, with nobody to keep her company or help her process her grief.

His heart tightened and he looked away from the window, his eyes trained on his lap as he focused on his breathing. He never expected to feel this way, like he was drowning. He never expected to fear his lover’s reaction to his death more than the death itself, although he surmised he shouldn’t have been surprised, he had always valued her welfare over his own.

“We will take good care of her, sir,” Mikasa said from behind the wheel, her eyes trained on the road as she continued to drive steadily to their destination, making Levi look up in surprise. Mikasa had always been a loyal member of his group, but he had continuously butted heads with his cousin over her obsessive compulsion to protect her boyfriend, Eren, another member of the syndicate. He had never expected her to care about (Y/N) or him, nor to even notice that (Y/N) was the origin of his turmoil.

His eyes lowered back down onto his lap and he swallowed hard. “Thank you.”

Mikasa shrugged in response but he could tell it wasn’t as nonchalant as she was trying to make it look, her shoulders tense and her hands gripping the steering wheel a bit harder than normal. Silence filled the car again as Levi went back to thinking about (Y/N), even pulling out his phone to look down at a beautiful picture of her, one where she was smiling at him while at the beach, wearing an adorable bikini and holding her sunhat to her head to keep the wind from blowing it off while the ocean waves crashed behind her. She looked so happy, her smile making his heart flutter and his stomach churn just as it always did when he saw her.

All too soon, Mikasa had pulled onto a cleverly hidden gravel drive and parked in front of an old abandoned warehouse. His heart was thundering in his ears as soon as the purring of the engine cut off. Levi took a deep breath and opened the car door, slipping out while Mikasa stared straight ahead, her breathing labored as she fought against the surprising appearance of tears springing to her eyes.

As soon as Levi shut the car door, Mikasa restarted the vehicle and put it into reverse, her eyes meeting Levi’s briefly as she crawled back onto the street before she sped away, Levi standing in the drive until the sound of his car had given way to silence. With Mikasa gone, Levi was able to release his shaky breath, his eyes scanning the beautiful forest he was standing in, the trees arching high and protecting the land below with thick canopies that blocked most of the harsh sunlight from the flourishing foliage, giving the forest floor a beautiful spotted look, the sun winking at him from the space between the leaves.

It was time. Taking in his surroundings one last time with an appreciative deep breath of the warm pine smell he and (Y/N) both loved, Levi headed into the warehouse.

“Good bye, (Y/N). I love you.”

_______________________________

Zeke was grinning so wide his cheeks ached as the door to the warehouse opened, revealing a very angry Levi Ackerman. The Torva Messor. The Grim Reaper. He had never expected in his entire life that he would be able to get rid of one of the most dangerous mafia bosses in the world so easily. It was almost laughable, how quickly Levi had submitted to Zeke after he had threatened his lover.

It had taken years to find Levi’s weak spot, the man always just out of reach and seemingly untouchable with no family or friends to speak of that weren’t already in his gang. Zeke and his men had spent countless hours searching for a crack in Levi’s impenetrable armor, some of them even leaving to find a new boss, claiming Zeke’s obsession with the raven-haired man was both unhealthy and futile.

But Zeke had never given up, always waiting patiently for the one day when he would find something, and everything would fall into place. He was determined, and had no doubt in his mind that a day such as this would come eventually. Despite the skeptical nature of his followers, he never lost that spark of hope that he knew would one day lead him to power unlike any other.

The day he had discovered (Y/N), he had thought he was dreaming. It couldn’t be that simple. A lover? Levi would never take one of those, always too busy and too cold-hearted to even think about love. He was a mafia boss for fucks sake, how the hell was he supposed to juggle a lover at the same time? But against all odds, Zeke found it to be true when he tracked her and found her with him, the two of them sharing loving embraces and playing off of each other smoothly. It was then that Zeke realized he had finally found his opening, the crack in Levi’s armor where he knew his arrow would strike home, and just as he had expected, the most feared man in the criminal underbelly had yielded immediately.

“Well, well, well,” Zeke cooed as he pushed away from the wall he’d been leaning against when Levi came in. “If it isn’t the man of the hour! Welcome, welcome, Levi!”

Levi gave a nearly inhuman growl in response and walked to the center of the warehouse before stopping, his eyes never leaving the bearded man in the room with him.

“Jesus, where did you learn your manners? Do you speak to (Y/N) that way, hmm?”

“Don’t say her name you filthy cock-sucking bastard,” Levi snarled.

“What are you going to do about it?” Zeke taunted, pulling a gun from his holster. “Shoot me? Call in your cronies and have me violently killed?”

Levi stayed silent, knowing that one wrong step could render this entire mission pointless. Unfortunately, (Y/N)’s life still rested securely in Zeke’s grasp. If he wished, he could send his men to find and kill her in the worst way possible. He might even be sadistic enough to force Levi to watch.

“That’s what I thought,” Zeke practically purred, coming right up to Levi and running the gun from the shorter man’s temple down to his side before moving in front of the shorter man and placing the muzzle of the gun directly over Levi’s heart.

Levi swallowed thickly once, the only sign that he was even remotely concerned, his eyes remaining clear and narrowed on Zeke’s gleeful face.

“Goodbye, Great Torva Messor, may your death bring about a better world.”

Levi closed his eyes and thought of (Y/N), her bright, happy face floating through his mind one last time before the sound of the gun going off blasted through the warehouse. It wasn’t what Levi was expecting, surprisingly painless as he felt himself falling backwards.

_______________________________

A scream had his eyes shooting open, his mind frazzled as he found himself on the floor but with no bullet wound. He pawed at his chest in confusion, almost as if the wound was hiding from him, the blood waiting to bloom under his shirt until he uncovered it. But he found nothing, his chest solid and whole, his heart hammering loudly in his chest.

He wasn’t dead.

Quickly looking around, Levi found Zeke on the ground facing him, his jaw slack and his eyes glazed in death, his hand still clutched around his own heart and covered in blood.

“What the fuck-”

A quiet groan made him look up, and his eyes widened at the figure crumpled to the floor, their hand clutching their side as blood seeped between their fingers, their hair curtaining her expression.

“(Y/N)!!! HOLY SHIT!!!” Levi didn’t hesitate to scramble to his feet and sprint over to her, his hands immediately reaching out to hold her to him, to assess her injuries, to do something, anything to help her.

“I’m fine, Levi, I’m fine, but we need to get out of here,” (Y/N) coughed, her eyes darting around the space nervously and her head tilting as if listening for something outside.

“(Y/N), you are not fine! You just got shot!”

“I know, but we need to leave right now. My car is out front, let’s go. Now.

Levi balked at her serious tone, his brow furrowing.

“(Y/N), what’re you…,”

His eyes widened even more as a gleam at her chest made him pause, his voice catching in his throat. It was a badge. A shiny gold police badge.

“(Y/N), what is this?” Levi asked, leaning down to brush the cool metal with his fingers. He noticed (Y/N) wince slightly but when he looked at her face, he saw the fire that was in her eyes, the hurt that swirled in them too. He had no right to question her right now, she had just gotten shot saving his ass after catching him working with the mafia, and here he was drilling her about a badge.

“It’s nothing,” (Y/N) snapped, making him flinch at her harsh tone. “But if we don’t move right now, things will get a lot worse. Please, drive us somewhere, anywhere, but make sure it's far away from here.”

Levi met her hard, determined gaze for a second before nodding, bending down to gently shuffle her into his arms. To his surprise, she pushed him away and stood on her own two feet, only leaning on him to use as leverage to make it to the car.

“Not my first time getting shot,” (Y/N) said in response to Levi’s questioning look.

“What!?”

“I’ll explain later,” (Y/N) mumbled, stumbling towards a glossy black car that wasn’t too different from own work car. He could tell it was meant for speed and agility with its aerodynamic form, something that surprised him since he had been expecting a bulky cop car. It was definitely not the car she normally drove, making him wonder how much of her life she had hidden from him in the way that he had from her.

Bundling her into the passenger seat, Levi tried not to panic at the sound of her pained groan as more blood gushed from her wound. He wanted to stay and bind it or stitch it, but a sharp look from (Y/N) had him hustling for the driver’s side door.

The car roared to life and Levi wasted no time in spinning the car around and speeding out onto the road, breaking several traffic laws in his haste to get back to his estate. As they sped through town, (Y/N) shouldered her jacket off and gripped the corner of it with her teeth, ripping at the fabric until she had several strips to bind her side with. Levi watched her out of the corner of his eye, making sure she didn’t faint from the blood loss as she worked. He was surprised by her skills, watching as she properly bound her wound with nothing more than a few breathless hisses and settled back into the seat, her palm pressed into her side.

Levi busied himself by calling Erwin to update him on the situation, ignoring his friend’s relieved surprise and demanding the first aid kit be delivered to his room before they arrived.

Levi nearly hit the gate in his panic, forcing himself to take a deep breath as the slow speed at which the gate opened made him want to tear his hair out. He was practically foaming at the mouth when a warm hand on his arm immediately demanded his attention, his gaze snapping to where she was watching him, her gaze unreadable. Her touch immediately calmed him, despite the turmoil in his gut at not being able to read her emotions. She always knew how to bring him back to himself, and even if she now hated him with every fiber of her being, it was still immediately effective. Something Levi was immensely grateful for as the gates finally opened wide enough to grant them entry.

His group members immediately swarmed him when the doors opened and the pair stumbled in, ready to assist, only to part like the Red Sea when they realized it was (Y/N) that was hurt rather than their leader, shock rippling through the small crowd. He barked orders and sent them running, quickly cutting past them and ignoring their questioning stares as he ushered (Y/N) up to his private quarters.

The two were both silent as Levi sat (Y/N) on his bed with a towel underneath, (her boyfriend’s clean freak tendencies making (Y/N) smile despite herself), and got to work studying her wound, the first aid kit open with a surprising amount of tools at their disposal. The room was thick with unresolved tension but neither of them seemed to be able to find the courage inside themselves to speak first, (Y/N) distracting herself by taking in the large room while Levi busied himself with cleaning her injuries.

It turned out to be Levi who spoke first, his hands running along her side in a soothing motion with every small wince she did, only for his fingers to pause when they reached the thick metal of the badge on her chest. Levi’s eyes flashed as he took it in, his fingers lifting it so he could look at it better in the light. It was a real badge alright, that was for sure, and Levi hated the fact that it sent cold shivers down his spine.

“So you’re a cop?” Levi asked softly, his voice barely over a whisper.

“A homicide detective, actually.”

Levi looked up and met (Y/N)’s hard gaze in shock. A homicide detective? How the hell could he have missed that? How did he not know about this? He thought she was the assistant manager for a firm, working with trade deals and profits. Since when did she deal with murders and killers?

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Levi asked as he went back to fixing her wound, his fingers gently prodding at the sensitive flesh around where the bullet went through.

“I didn’t tell you partly because my boss told me not to. She told me that she wanted as few people to know about this case as possible since it’s impossible to find all of the mafia members and nobody can be trusted. But it was mostly to protect you. I’ve been doing this job for a long time, and it wouldn’t be the first time if someone I was chasing down threatened the people I care about to get me off their tail. I couldn’t bear the thought of that happening to you, of you getting hurt on my behalf, so I didn’t tell you, to keep you safe.”

Levi’s breath caught in his throat at her words, his heart pounding against his ribcage. He was warmed by her words, the love and consideration she held for him, but her sentiment also fanned his anger, upset at the burden she had placed on herself.

“Idiot, you should’ve told me! You didn’t have to put all of that stress on yourself, I could’ve handled a few measly threats.”

“Oh like how you told me all about you working for the mafia? Being a mob boss?” (Y/N) said, making Levi flinch at the venom in her tone. “Do you think I liked lying to you, Levi? Do you think I enjoyed having to erase my browser history and create false reports for a fake company to keep you from finding out I was researching the recent murders that have been happening all over the city? I hated it. I fucking hated it, but I did it to keep you safe and to keep my job so I could continue to help support the two of us.”

Levi was silent, hanging his head in shame as her words washed over him. She was right. She had every right to be angry at him, but he couldn’t help but feel as if he were being stabbed with every harsh word that came out of her mouth.

“I wanted to tell you. So many times I wanted to tell you why I couldn’t come to bed with you, or why I had to skip breakfast, or why I had to lock my office door everyday for work. It killed me to lie to you because I knew I could trust you. It made me want to vomit because you had done nothing wrong and you deserved to know about what I was really doing for a living, but I held my tongue because I knew it was for the best.

And besides, my boss’s reasoning made sense. I mean, it’s obvious that the more people who know about something, the harder it is to keep it a secret. Who knows? Maybe you had friends in the mafia who could find information through you. Maybe you had a boss who was involved with the murders and would use your connection to me to keep from being behind bars. I thought it was ridiculous, but I did it because I trusted my boss too.”

(Y/N) choked out a small sob, her lip trembling as she spoke the next words. “But now I know that not only was my boss right, but if I had told you, it would have ruined our entire investigation. Why? Because you’re a fucking mafia boss, that’s why.”

“(Y/N)..., I-”

“Are you the one I’ve been hunting? The one who’s been instigating the recent murders all over the city?”

Levi froze.

“Are you the one who put bullet holes in the bodies of the people I went to see? Are you the one who created crime scenes I had to analyze? Have you been behind everything this entire time!?”

Levi couldn’t breathe. At first, discovering she was a homicide detective had made him worried for her physical health, the fact that she had been shot before making him feel light headed. But now he realized, as she asked him these questions, that he hadn’t even taken into account her mental health. It was clear she had seen a lot in her life, especially since she had told him earlier that she had been doing this job for a long time. But the images of what he often did to his victims floated through his mind. The way he was sometimes ordered to torture them in horrible ways until they finally collapsed into death from pain and exhaustion.

Horror filled him then at the thought of (Y/N) seeing that. Of seeing what he had done. Levi always knew he was a monster, a demon straight from hell, his name, The Grim Reaper, a testament to that. But he had always felt better knowing that (Y/N) would never know that side of him.

(Y/N) noted his labored breathing, his lack of response, the horror that flashed in his silver eyes even though his head was still hung, his bangs covering his face. It told her everything she needed to know. She felt her chest tighten, her heart constrict painfully as tears leaked from her eyes.

“Levi…, why? Why did you do this? I spent all of this time, trying to find this psychopath, who tortured and murdered people. To give justice to the people who could no longer obtain it themselves, only to find it’s my own boyfriend!? How could you do this? To them? To me?”

Levi shuddered with a shaky sigh as his own tears slipped down his cheeks. He finally lifted his head to meet (Y/N)’s gaze, and had to force himself to hold it when the hurt look in her eyes made him want to vomit.

“(Y/N), I’m so so sorry, I didn’t…,” Levi swallowed hard. “I didn’t want to lie to you either. I wanted to tell you, I wanted so badly to let you in on what was going on, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you getting caught up in my mess. I didn’t want anyone from my side to see me with you, to have any idea about your existence because I knew that someone would try to target you to get to me. I was so worried about you getting hurt, or worse, killed, because of me. So I didn’t tell you because no matter how much it hurt me, no matter how much I ached to tell you, I had to keep you safe. It’s my responsibility to protect you, and even if that meant lying to you about who I am, then that was what I was going to do. That’s what I did do, to keep you safe.”

(Y/N) was silent in response and while it worried Levi, he was at least grateful she wasn’t trying to kill him. She had left the gun she had used to kill Zeke back at the warehouse, but that didn’t mean she didn’t possibly have other weapons she could use against him. It wasn’t until Levi’s shaky hands managed to gain the courage to begin redressing (Y/N)’s injury that he found the strength to speak again, wanting nothing more than for this deafening silence to go away.

“Thank you, by the way…, you saved my life back there.”

“Well, I couldn’t just let him kill you, could I? No matter how angry I am at you, I will never let that happen, not if I can help it.”

“How did you find me?” Levi asked, his brow furrowing as he gently began to stitch his girlfriend up again. To his surprise, she did nothing more than squeak slightly at the sting of the needle.

“Like I said, I was investigating the recent murders, and since I was leading this case, I had free rein to do a lot of extensive research on my own without having to consult with anyone other than sending in reports for my boss. My findings led me to Zeke Yeager, and he became my number one suspect. I started following him, keeping track of his movements, noting down the addresses of places he frequented. Unfortunately, he’s a sly bastard, and covered his tracks pretty well, so I didn’t have much proof that pointed to him being connected to the murders other than he was a mobster with a vast history of violence.

Desperate for more proof, convinced that my gut feeling was right, I never stopped watching him. So when word that he was planning to execute a meeting between a long standing rival of his at an old warehouse reached me from one of my partners, I sped over there as fast as possible.”

“You didn’t know I was there?” Levi asked.

“No,” (Y/N) said. “I found you there, waiting for him to shoot you when I walked in. At first, I thought he’d found out about me tracking him, and the whole thing was just a set up to get me to show myself. I thought he’d kidnapped you to get to me, my worst fear.”

Levi finished putting in the last stitch, the bloody bullet resting on the towel beneath (Y/N), and met his girlfriend’s gaze, the tears in her eyes making his own start to water.

“But then I noticed how you were standing, and the expression on your face. You weren’t scared or confused. You were furious, but… confident. Livid, but accepting. I knew in that moment that Zeke didn’t know about me at all, but he knew you, and you knew him. It took me a little while to figure out, but when he started gloating about how he was going to be the one to bring down the famous Grim Reaper, I realized who you were. What you were.”

“(Y/N)-”

“He was going to kill you,” (Y/N) said, her hair curtaining her expression as she broke from his gaze to look down at her lap, her teardrops landing with soft taps on her crossed legs. “And you were going to let him.”

(Y/N)’s body started to shake but she fought to keep her voice firm. She had to get through this. They had to get through this… together. If she couldn’t handle this, then there was no way she would be able to be around him ever again.

“But I couldn’t let him. I saw him press that gun against your chest and I exploded. I couldn’t control myself, it was like I was possessed by a wild animal,” (Y/N) looked up at Levi again, her eyes swirling with so many emotions he couldn’t read them all.

“Levi, I’ve been doing this job for many years. I’ve seen some of the most horrific murders on the planet, met the worst scum in the world, talked with a perfectly sane man who killed his entire family one day for seemingly no reason. But never in my life have I ever felt the want…, the need to kill someone. I’ve only ever pulled out my gun three times with the intention of actually using it,” (Y/N) raised her hands to gently cup his face, her eyes locked on his.

“But in that moment, when I heard him telling you that your death would make the world a better place, when I saw him put his finger on the trigger, I had the overwhelming desire to tear him limb from limb. I acted before I could even process the situation, and I killed a man without a second thought.”

“(Y/N)...,” Levi cooed softly. “It’s not your fault. None of this is your fault. You acted without thinking because it’s in your nature to protect people. I’ve seen the way you care for others. Even when they are complete strangers, you are always thinking about how you can be there for them. What you did, protecting me, is the very essence of you, and that does not make you a monster.”

“But it is my fault, Levi,” (Y/N) said. “I killed a man. I’m a homicide detective, I’m supposed to solve murders not cause them. I’m glad I saved you, more than anything, but this is something I’m going to have to deal with and live with for the rest of my life.”

The pair were silent again, the air heavy with the weight of (Y/N)’s words.

“I was doing it for you, you know,” Levi said after another moment.

“What?”

“At the warehouse. I was there because while Zeke may not have known you were keeping an eye on him, he did know that you were connected to me. I don’t know how he found out about our relationship, but he did, and had the photos of us to prove it. He threatened you, told me that if I didn’t give myself up, that he’d do the worst of the worst to you. He threatened your friend Emily too. Erwin is a part of the Wings of Freedom with me.”

“The Wings of Freedom?” (Y/N) asked, ignoring the sinking feeling in her stomach at the thought of her best friend being hurt.

“That’s what we call ourselves. Zeke’s people are called the Beast Titans, a rival group. They’ve been a thorn in my side for years, competing with us for territory and power in the most violent ways possible. Zeke especially was always known for his complete lack of humanity, and he’d been obsessed with catching and killing me ever since we first met. When he found out about you, found out that I love you, he immediately set his sights on you and used you to corner me.”

(Y/N) sucked in a breath, somehow producing more tears to slide down her cheeks as Levi spoke.

“You’re right. When I went to that warehouse, I knew I was going to die and was prepared to do so. I didn’t want to obviously, but as long as your life was held in his hands, I knew I was going to yield to him no matter what he asked of me. I did it to protect you, to keep you alive, even if it meant never getting to see you ever again.”

Levi heard her voice catch and closed his eyes, waiting for her to react. While he wanted more than anything for her to forgive him and allow him to hold her close, he knew there was a very high possibility of her rejecting him. He had done all of it for her, but that didn’t erase his history, or his job, or the lies he spun to keep her in the dark. He knew it would kill him if she walked away from him and never looked back, but he would find a way to live with it, loving her from afar if that’s what she wanted from him. It was her choice. He would be strong for her.

What he didn’t expect was to be tackled to the floor. Levi let out a surprised grunt as he was thrown backwards, landing on his back with (Y/N) clutching him from above, sobbing into his shoulder. His arms immediately wrapped protectively around her and held her to his chest, breathing in her calming, unique scent.

“(Y/N)?”

“You idiot, you absolute fucking idiot,” (Y/N) lifted her head to look at him with puffy eyes and flushed cheeks. “Never fucking do that ever again. I know you did it to protect me, but I wouldn’t have been able to live without you, Levi. If you die, even for my sake, especially for my sake, I will kill you.”

Levi chuckled shakily and buried his face in her hair, his own tears soaking into the soft strands as he held her.

“Levi, what’re we going to do now?”

“What do you mean?”

She looked at him incredulously. “Are you serious? I love you, but I’m still a detective, and I killed a man. I can’t exactly go back without a proper explanation about what happened, and why I’ve been MIA for the past several hours. And I’d prefer it if the explanation I gave didn’t result in you getting arrested or killed.”

“I think I’d prefer that too,” Levi teased with a small smirk, earning him a slap on his chest.

“I’m serious, Levi.”

“I am too,” Levi said, sitting up so that (Y/N) was seated on his lap, his hands gripping her waist gingerly to account for her recent injury. (Y/N) watched him closely as he leaned forward and rested his forehead against hers, sighing happily against her.

“Listen, (Y/N), I know this will take a long time to get over. I know we will both struggle with this for a while and I am going to work my ass off to have you forgive me, but I want you to know that I love you and no matter what happens, we will do this together, alright?”

(Y/N)’s eyes sparkled warmly. She was still upset at him, her emotions roiling in her gut like a brewing tornado, but she managed to shove them all to the side, leaving her love clear to shine brightly for him in the wake of what just happened. There were a lot of things to figure out, and she still had no idea where they stood in terms of their relationship when they were trained to hate and hunt each other. But just as he said, they were going to get through this together.

“Okay, Levi..., I love you.”

“I love you too, (Y/N). Let’s get some sleep.”

Despite everything, the killing of a man, the discovery of her boyfriend’s secret identity, the inner turmoil inside her as the mind of a detective fought with her heart over her love for a mob boss, (Y/N) felt everything melt away the moment she was curled up with Levi in his huge bed. She nuzzled into his chest as she was lulled to sleep by the strong beat of his heart, shouting out his love for only her to hear.

216 notes · View notes

birdwonder · 4 years

Note

I just saw your body swap HCs for the Bucciarati gang, so could I request one for the Crusaders? I also heard about your computer troubles, so if it’s too long and rage inducing I apologize. (Hope you can get your computer fixed) (also found out I could use emojis thanks to you!)🃏

|| sorry for the late response ! thanks for the concern, jester/joker ( whatever shall i call you? ) btw !

Original Post + TW : comedic, very light nsfw

Star Dust Crusaders | Bodyswap Headcanons

Jotaro Kujo

- The two of you were heading out to buy some cold beverages when you were hit with the stand attack that wasn’t even all that surprising seeing as Dio had sent non-stop, relentless attacks against you all ever since your journey had began. What was surprising was the stand’s effects however.

- When you staggered backwards, you had unfortunately hit your head against a stop street sign that hurt more than you wanted to admit. There was some shock though, as you hadn’t bashed against the pole of the sign but the actual image it displayed it’s self - something you were sure you were too short to reach. “How the hell?” You muttered to yourself while rubbing the back of your hair, pausing when you realised how freakishly different your hair felt. Not to mention, when you looked down, those were definitely not your clothes.

- “You tell me.” A voice- Your voice responded, your own eyes glaring at you yet from a much lower angle. Shit, you were tall. Or, was this body tall? If you had to guess by your fashion, height and the fact you could see yourself and not Jotaro; well the dots were easy to connect.

- “Fuck, I’m you!” “No shit.” “Why the hell are you so god damn tall?” “That’s your issue?”

- “Ugh, suck my dick.” You groaned at his tone, already hating the situation. A guy was in your body and though you knew Jotaro wasn’t the shifty type, it was still uncomfortable to think about.

- “Don’t you mean my dick?”

- Ah, he shouldn’t have said that. The two of you both stared at each other in awkward silence, Jotaro visibly regretting what he had let slip and you, slowly starting to laugh. Your laughter was a strange sound seeing as it sounded way deeper than your original one. This must be what Jotaro sounded like when he laughed … it was nice.

- Jokingly, you wagged your brows, “does this mean you want me to whip it out?” If it wasn’t your face, you’d die of laughter at the distraught Jotaro showed, followed with a hint of fluster.

Noriaki Kakyoin

- “Now, don’t freak out,” Kakyoin tried to soothe, hands holding out to stop you from doing anything rash which didn’t work too well when even he was panicking internally. After all, the one he had to comfort had his face.

- “There’s no way I can’t, I’m… I’m you! You’re me!” Of all the times to be in a stand user’s way, why did it have to be this one ? And w h y did this weird strand of hair keep getting into your mouth?! Seriously, how does Kakyoin manage to look so cool with this pest in his face all the time?

- That wasn’t the only problem though, no. You just had to swap bodies with someone you not only thought of as cool and amazing, but freakishly handsome too. Yet you were convinced you were anything but that. Bending down, you took hold of the jacket on your body, one that Kakyoin’s mind was currently in. “What are you doing?” He asked with a confused look, watching you zip up the jacket which was horribly confusing since he had to watch his own hands fix a jacket that wasn’t even his own.

- “Zipping your- my jacket! Just don’t pay too much attention to me, ok? I’m such a mess,” you mumbled, fumbling with the zipper. Gah, you weren’t used to having such long and thin fingers. Kakyoin in return narrowed his brows, his temporarily smaller hands going over your’s.

- “Don’t start with that [First Name], you’re perfect the way you are. How we look is not our biggest problem anyways, we need to find that stand user and quick.” As much as you didn’t want to say it, he was right. You couldn’t focus on this, not when you didn’t know how permanent this situation could be. Nodding, you agreed.

- Kakyoin then smiled, a hand placing it’s self on your shoulder. [He died a little inside when he realised he had to go on his tip toes to do this.] “Come on, after all this I’ll treat us to something nice.”

Joseph Joestar

- “OH MY GO-” Joseph tried to yell but stopped abruptly when he realised how horribly strange it sounded in your voice. Of all the days you both agreed to team up, this had to be the one.

- While he was panicking in your body, you were staring at yourself in a mirror’s reflection, flexing your arm with an interested look. The way his muscles tensed and relaxed was way too good not to admire, not when his short sleeves left little to the imagination. Even for his age, this man seriously looked good and you couldn’t even try to hide that thought from him; so you didn’t. With a low whistle, you found a new pose to show off the Joestar’s muscles in, “not bad, old man. Guess you don’t skip gym day even on a retirement plan.”

- Joseph had to double take at your comment. “I’m not that old, and I sure as hell am not retiring anytime soon!” He argued, huffing before storming up to you and shoving you away from the mirror. Admittedly, he was pleasantly surprised by your praise to his physique and it really did get to his head, “you can stare all you want at my body later when we’re not facing serious danger, just get a move on now!”

- Raising a brow at the comment, you smirked to yourself as you watched your own body try to push the one you were in currently. Wonder how it felt for him. The guy would probably get a kick out of it if he just let him relax like you were. “Is that a promise? ‘Cause you can have front row tickets to your own show if you really want, Mr Joestar.” You cooed, dropping a formal title as though you weren’t suggesting something incredibly personal at all. At least it got a good reaction out of him, seeing as he paused his efforts to get you moving to stare at you with surprise. This then made you laugh, a gloved finger then moving to gently press his nose to pull him out of his dazed state. “Just kidding, pervert.”

- After that, you started to walk off ahead of him as he tried to collect his thoughts, his final reaction leaving him grumbling over what a damn tease you are and that there was no way he’d settle for the treatment you had just given him.

Mohammed Avdol

- Neither of you were too panicked by the situation thankfully, but there was still an awkwardness between you. Luckily, neither of you were the type to get too handsy and experimental with your comrade’s body so there was a strong bond of trust.

- “Doesn’t all this clothing get uncomfortable in the heat?” You questioned while on your search for the stand user, making a gesture to his body which was your’s for the time being. It was insanely hot and though you were sure you had a little bit of his endurance, the heat was agonising. “Even your stand uses fire! Doesn’t it bother you at all?”

- Avdol chuckled in response to that, his laugh not being nearly as satisfying and fun to hear as it sounded more like you than the man himself. Shaking his head, he answered casually, “I don’t mind much at all. I was raised in the heat and when you are brought up like that, you grow accustomed to it. Magician’s Red’s ability doesn’t affect me at all either, seeing as he is my stand.” He enjoyed answering your many questions you always seemed to have for him, it made him feel wise and secretly savoured every second the two of you spent alone together. Not only were you good company, but you were deeply treasured in his heart. That was something for another day however.

- “Really?” You were surprised that he could stand this at all. It was already becoming bothersome for you. Instinctively, you took a hold of the bottom of his shirt and pulled it forwards and backwards to make some air flow across your stomach and chest. While doing so, you looked down for a split second to really take in the fact that you were in a whole other person’s body and your breath hitched at the short glimpse you had of his chest. You knew this man was healthy but you had no idea he was that fit. Wasn’t he like a semi-pacifist sorta guy?!

- Your sudden silence had concerned Avdol, leading him to questioning you. “Are you alright, [First Name]?” He was too much of a sweetheart to be real. You forced a smile and nodded, humming a happy reply. The best you could do really when you were too ashamed and surprised that you had seen the body of a god.

- “Yeah I’m alright! Just checking out the hot body I mean weather! It’s like… really hot. So let’s find the stand user soon so I can feel cool again, haha!” Totally played it off well. Avdol seemed skeptical but he moved on, nodding in agreement with a determined look. You two really did have a goal to complete and fast.

- Even so, he knew what you had done and found it incredibly adorable how worked up it had got you.

Jean Pierre Polnareff

- The moment the shock of your minds switching bodies had subsided, Polanreff’s prioritises had gotten a little jumbled. His arms wrapped around his body, which really meant your’s, caressing each curve and swayed side to side with a dreamy expression. In fairness, he did feel like he was in a dream. He was in your body! It was so soft and perfect and whooo, did he mention soft? This chest was made for loving and supporting a head, and Polnareff was seriously looking for a pillow.

- “Ma cherie, you’re just so gorgeous! You’re so wicked to have kept this from me all this time,” he exaggeratedly complained while his hands still roamed his new, greatly admired body. You on the other hand, were a blushing mess who was trying to get him to stop.

- “Polnareff, please! We need to get going,” you insisted, trying to pull his arms away as you shut your eyes tight to avoid seeing his actions. One pro side of being in his body was adopting his incredible strength.

- “Ah, oui, we shall go! But please, I need to let you know there is no way I can pass up on admiring this.” Oh please someone stop him now. “I mean, have you seen this rump?” Almost screeching, you slapped a hand over his lips and shook your head quickly with a stressed look. You were going to die of shame before any of Dio’s henchmen or women would even get to your first.

- He stared up at you with confusion before finally letting it sink in just how crude he was being. It wasn’t like he whole heartedly meant to! He just really appreciated your appearance. “Sorry cherie, I suppose I went to far, hm? I just couldn’t help myself.”

- You, unable to stay mad at the french man for longer than even a day, sighed and waved it off, knowing he meant no real harm. “It’s alright but please, we really should try and find a way to revert to our original bodies.”

- “Of course!” He enthusiastically agreed, taking a hold of your hand before starting to march off to whatever direction he so needed to go to - meaning, a random one he picked and prayed for the best. “There’s no way I can truly engross myself with your perfections from a first person’s perspective! As soon as we’re in our bodies, you’ll be showing me everything, cherie!”

- Honestly, you were a little excited by that.

Iggy

- “AAAAAH.” “woof.” “AAAAH” “wOOF?!” “AAAAAA-” “WOOOOO-”

- mother fucker you are a dOG.

#jjba x reader #request #Jean Pierre Polnareff #polnareff x reader #Jotaro Kujo #jotaro x reader #Joseph Joestar #joseph joestar x reader #oldseph #muhammad avdol #avdol x reader #kakyoin x reader #noriaki kakyoin #iggy

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thebrownssociety · 3 years

Text

Across The Serververse Chapter 3

Hey! I'm back. Firstly, thank you to @thatsalotoftoons, @preciouslittletoonette and @ananicoleta for commenting and reblogging this.

Secondly, this chapter is what I like to call the 'explanation chapter'. I've tried not to info-dump, and I've edited it at least 3 different times trimming it down, so hopefully this is not to complicated, but I must admit the Serververse really intrigues me as a world and I'm really looking forward to exploring it through this.

See chapter 1 for the disclaimer and let's crack on.

Every other time Bugs had been to WB Central it had been buzzing, characters from all properties walking around, a few friendly arguments, a few hard-core fights, even a few drag races [usually the car kind, not the Queen kind]

Now however, it was quiet. Vewy, very quiet as a certain well-known hunter would say. There were quite a lot of characters milling around the place, but none of the energy that usually accompanied them. Also, it was dark, Bugs realised, not pitch-black, but darker than usual. Like someone had placed a cover over a still-turned on screen.

“Eh...what happened?” Bugs asked Pepe and Penelope.

They looked just as confused as him. “We do not know.” Pepe admitted.

“We’ve been on that cruise for 6 months, we’ve not been back here.” Penelope said, looking close to tears. “This iz awful”“ She added, tears springing to her eyes.

As Pepe started to try and calm her down, a familiar voice lifted Bugs’s spirit.

“Bugs, Pepe, Penelope! How lovely to see you all again!”

“Marvin!” Bugs exclaimed in delight, running over to the little Martian, picking him up and swinging him round joyously. “Am oi glad ta see you! What’s happened here? It’s like someone’s cut de power!”

“You’re more correct than you might think.” Marvin said, when Bugs had put him down. “Warner Brothers have seen fit to disable the entire system until they can get access to it again. Theirs's a problem, you understand. It appears the ‘famous Looney Tunes characters-” Here here made air quotes. “- have been put into different worlds. None of the humans can figure out why and are attributing it to a virus. They’ve called in multiple Information Technology people, but none of them can figure it out. Then again.” Marvin conceded. “I highly doubt any of them have dealt with a sentient A.I. before. All we know is it’s causing panic in the human verse - you can hear it if you get close enough to the portal - and what they’ve done is essentially put the worlds the other Looney’s have gone into into ‘freeze mode’ so they can’t shift or do anything else until they figure out what’s going on.” At the end of that rather lengthy explanation, Marvin sighed. “They may be there for quite some while.”

“So...lemme get dis straight.” Bugs said, thoughtfully. “We can’t get to the human world?”

“That is correct. Rhythm has blocked the portal into the human world to all WB characters.”

“And we can’t get in and out of the other worlds the rest of the fam are stuck in?”

“That is correct.” Marvin said, again. “Although-” He added. “-I think that may change now. Might I enquire how you guys got here?”

Bugs explained the events leading up to this moment - including how Rhythm had flung the toons to the other worlds - and Marvin nodded. “Interesting. I think I understand, but it requires a bit more explanation. Please walk with me while I fill us all in. Now, you may be wondering how I knew where to find you? I simply used my Tracker-3000 from Mars-” Marvin waved the device in the air. “-to track where you were. It’s a device I had gifted for me from the King Of Neptune. I had hoped I would never need to use it, but unfortunately I have-”

“-You’ve tracked us?” Bugs echoed, more than slightly disturbed.

Marvin blinked. “Yes. Was that not clear? Please, do not think I did this idly. I hoped I wouldn’t need to ever use the trackers, but unfortunately I have had to. Anyway, I could see that you, Bugs, were in Tune Town, but none of us could get to you. I made further investigations with some of the more technically advanced characters here and it looks like Rhythm has placed a block on all current WB characters. None of us can enter or leave any of the other worlds. You may be able to see where I’m going with this?” he added, as an aside.

“Pepe isn’t a current character.” Penelope said, softly.

Marvin nodded eagerly. “Correct, sister. As Pepe isn’t a current character it seems he can travel between the worlds, and - judging by the fact you are here as well and the boat showed no issue with travelling - it seems that anything he is travelling on or with is likewise given ‘a free pass’, so to speak. Now-” Marvin cleared his throat. “I wish to seek clarification on this point, so please forgive my impertinence - but at the exact moment you and Pepe travelled through to Toon world were you...” A faint blush adjured the Martians cheeks. “...touching at all?”

“We were holding hands.” Penelope said, easily. “We were the second time as well.”

“Hold on, oi wasn't holdin’ hands with them.” Bugs said, quickly.

“No, but you were in ‘Big Chungus’ form, so that was probably what allowed you access. Now, with that information in mind, I would guess, Pepe, that anything you are touching - be it an inanimate object or another toon, will travel through as well. Or maybe it’s just everything that is on something you’re touching can travel as well?” Marvin added, thoughtfully. “That would explain how the captain of the boat could travel-”

Bugs groaned and ran a hand across his forehead. “Look Marvin, as fascinating as all dis is, it’s a bit much. Can you jus’ tell me where de others are so we can get going?”

“Certainly. Could you just remind me who actually got teleported, please?”

That was no issue for Bugs as the images would forever be burned into his mind. “Daffy, Porky, Lola, Elmer, Sylvester, Tweety, Granny, Speedy, Wile.E, Road-Runner, Foghorn, Taz, Yosemite Sam, Gossamer and Witch Hazel.”

“Well, I can help you with one of them.” Marvin said, as they finally approached the ‘Toon-Town’ section of W.B.C. “Just through here.” And he pressed open the door.

Inside the door was a world that was exactly like the ‘Toon Town’ from ‘Who framed Rodger Rabbit’ but without the Disney characters.

Marvin led Bugs, Pepe and Penelope through Toon Town until they reached Foghorn Leghorn’s barn.

“Look, I say, look who came back!”

Bugs’s grin threatened to split his face as he saw the rooster heading towards him, arms outstretched in welcome.

“Foghorn!” The rabbit leapt on his younger brother and hugged him tightly. “Oh, I thought you was a gonner!”

“It, I say, it takes more than some computer to get rid of me.” Foghorn said, proudly. “I always come back!”

“Of course.” Dawg’s [AKA George.P.Dog’s] dry voice said, from about two foot away. “It ‘elps that your ‘random location’ was here and not - say - Game Of Thrones.”

Foghorn put Bugs down and said - as an aside. “That, I say, that’s a shout out, readers.”

“I think they got that, Foggy.” Dawg said, rolling his eyes.

It was at this point that Penelope interrupted, asking if Foghorn had just been transported to W.B.C or if anything else had happened.

“No, I just, I say, I just woke up here.”

“Woke up?” Bugs echoed.

Foghorn looked a bit sheepish and looked at Barnyawd.

George explained that 5 and a half months ago Foghorn had just literally dropped out of the sky and onto Dawg’s head. “Once I got da fat lump off of me, I saw he was unconscious and not funny unconscious-” Dawg clarified. “But actually unconscious. He was like dat for about a day or two before he woke up ag’in-” Dawg took a sharp breath as the memory hit him. He steadied himself and then continued with. “-And when he woke up he told us all what had happened. By that point though we knew something bad was going on because not only had this happened-” Here George indicated the dark surroundings. “But a few of us toons had tried to get through to the Human World and couldn’t. All it took was Marvin then double-checking the trackers he’s put on us-”

“-Yeah, cahn we go back to dat at some point?” Bugs asked.

“-An’ he saw the different worlds our family’s been split up into and then when Foggy woke up he confirmed the entire thing.” Dawg sighed and ran his hands over his face. “It’s been a nightmare worrying about them all dis time, because we’ve had no idea where they are or what they’re doing or if they’re bein tor-”

“Yeah, Oi did that spiel back in chapter 2.” Bugs said impatiently. “Right. Oi think oi get it now. Let’s go, Martian-” Bugs grabbed Marvin's arm and pulled him away. “We got a family ta save!”

“Wait, oh wait!” Bugs and Marvin skidded to a halt to see Junior [Sylvester's son] running towards them.

“Eh...what’s up kid?” The rabbit asked, getting down to Juniors level.

Junior stopped sharply - accidently kicking a cloud of dust into the two toons faces - and, with one arm dramatically flung across his face, said. “Oh, Uncle Bugs, I know you have a lot of toons to get, but may I PLEASE request you start with my father? He is silly and often doesn’t think things through, but he’s my father and I love him so. May I please request you start with him and bring him back? I miss him.” At the end of Junior’s spiel, Bugs burst into noisy sobs and, getting a large handkerchief out of his pocket, wiped his eyes with it before wringing it out into a random bucket.

“Of couirse I will.” he promised. “Jus’ watch me. Oi’ll aim to have him back as soon as possible. Now-” Bugs stood up and signalled to Marvin. “-Let’s go, short-stack.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Now we wish to make this simple.” Marvin said, as he Bugs, Pepe and Penelope entered the spaceship. “So, if I just pull up a list-” He did so. “The trackers I put on you all will enable me to see exactly where you all are at any given moment.”

“Yeah, can we go back to dose trackers at some point?” Bugs asked.

Ignoring him, Marvin continued. "So, as you can see, Sylvester is here." He pointed to 'Cartoon Network World'. "I'll just see if there's anyone with him. Bear with." A few moments of typing later and the trackers for Tweety, Yosemite Sam and Taz lit up. Marvin's eyes went wide and typed again. The screen zeroed in on Cartoon Network planet, showing a breakdown of the different sections of it. "Okay." Marvin said, slowly. "That is interesting. Sylvester and Tweety are both in Coolsville, AKA 'Scooby-Doo World' and it seems like there in the 1960's universe."

"Eh...it would hav' ta be Coolsville." Bugs muttered. "What wiv it's population of crazy crooks an' all."

"You just need to change into Chungus and then we can go." Marvin said, pointedly.

Bugs slapped his forehead. "Oops, I forgot!" He transformed into Big Chungus and gave Marvin a thumbs up.

Nodding the Martian pressed the 'arrive as close to as possible' button and the spaceship faded away.

#Space Jam 2 #Across The Serververse #Space Jam 2 Fanfiction #Next update will be next week #Bugs Bunny #Pepe Le Pew #penelope pussycat #marvin the martian #sylvester junior #Sylvester #Foghorn Leghorn #barnyawd dawg #barnyard dawg

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forsakenoathkeeper · 3 years

Text

I Am Alive (chapter 8/?)

Deviant!Connor[RK800] x (fem!)Reader Rated M(18+) for canon-typical violence and gore, medical procedures, and graphic sexual content

Please support me on AO3 & thanks for reading ♥

"Looks like we're gonna have to bring the plastic detective," Gavin said sourly, removing his phone from his ear.

Connor had been looking through hours and hours of security camera footage all morning. Somehow, he still managed to hear Gavin insult him from across the room.

Seeing as he didn't need to sleep, Connor was one of the first detectives to arrive in the morning, almost every morning. Detective Reed rarely failed to come in shortly after him. Judging by the dark lines in the skin beneath his eyes and redness in his sclera, Connor assumed he suffered from insomnia.

"Just sittin' there, doin' nothing?" Gavin asked, suddenly standing by Connor's desk. He crossed his arms, looking down at the android with contempt.

Connor had been staring at a blank computer screen, finding it much faster and easier to just use his internal interface than the computer. He also operated at much faster speeds than desktops.

He was aware of how comical it appeared, sitting there and looking at nothing; but, most were aware of his internal processes and didn't bother him about the strangeness of his behavior.

Connor had found footage of Robert pulling himself out of the harbor, the time stamp suggesting it was a few hours after their encounter. He had not managed to catch any more footage of him since. He also was on the lookout for the assailants that had attacked androids at the protests yesterday. Unsurprisingly, they were also laying low.

It was a massive city and there was a lot of ground to cover.

"I am going through security camera footage," Connor answered plainly, looking up at Gavin from his seat.

"Ahuh," Gavin replied, clearly not giving a damn. "Got a crime scene with a dead android. Heading over now. Don't fucking keep me waiting."

Connor didn't bother asking for any info, knowing full well he wouldn't get any. As Gavin walked away, Connor checked the case logs in the police database. Luckily, it was already there. The first responding officers had documented it fairly well.

Twenty-one minutes ago, officers responded to a 911 call that an armed assailant had broken into a small manufacturing plant on the north side of the city. The facility created specialized computer chips. They were most commonly used for android motherboards; however, they were also used in some security monitoring systems.

At a quick glance, Connor could see all the victims were androids. They were employees for the morning shift. When he searched the company's records, he could see they had hired the androids as proper employees a few months ago.

One android was dead and three others had been injured. There was one human involved, another employee and a witness, unharmed.

An important report was missing. Despite the fact that three androids had been attacked, no emergency medical services had been called to the scene. Unfortunately, it wasn't entirely surprising. There weren't clear medical services for androids. Not yet.

The clinic you worked at was outsourced from one of the big contributors to Cyberlife's stocks. It was, essentially, the company's way of carefully moving their funds from Cyberlife production to healthcare for androids. Eventually, it was going to start paying for itself, and it served as a great way to protect their public image.

The police needed medical services to document the case, sure; but, Connor was also bothered by the injustice here. Fowler wasn't in yet to approve of his idea. So, the android decided to make the call himself.

...

Connor was already gone by the time you woke up.

Funny enough, he still managed to wake you up.

You hummed groggily into the phone, not bothering to check who it was before answering.

"I'm sorry, I didn't think you would still be asleep," Connor's voice said politely on the other end.

You yawned into the phone. "Hm? Oh, Connor... You beat my alarm by, like, five minutes. Don't worry about it," you replied hoarsely, rolling onto your other side.

"There's been an incident," Connor began, suddenly sounding quite serious. His tone was enough to wake you up.

"Some androids were injured; but, no paramedics were called for... obvious reasons." Connor didn't sound mad, bless his heart. But, you could sense some frustration. "Would you mind accompanying me on this? I must warn you, it will lead to involvement in this case: paperwork, and likely testimonies."

"Yeah, of course, Connor," you said into the phone, rolling back over to swing your legs over the edge of the bed. "Text me the address?"

"Will do. I haven't arrived yet. I'll meet you there. I'm sorry, there's no food. I haven't had the time to go to the store for-..."

Connor trailed off when he heard you laughing quietly in the background.

"I'm sorry. I was just imagining you at the grocery store," you chuckled. While you didn't mean to laugh, it was hard not to. The image you conjured in your mind was Connor looking very out of place in a grocery store. He probably would only bring home raw vegetables and bottled water.

"I know what dietary needs humans have," Connor replied, almost defensive.

"That's exactly what I'm afraid of," you laughed softly. "Don't worry about it. I can just pick something up along the way."

"I hadn't considered, before I asked, if this unexpected time off would be approved by your employer?" Connor asked.

"Oh, they'll have a field day with this one. No IMS called to an assault. I should be asking you if YOU are gonna get in trouble."

"We need medical reports for the case; so, it isn't entirely in my own self-interest," Connor answered in his usual, calm tone. He sounded robotic at times; but, you had grown to recognize that as his own nature. He was a dedicated detective after all. In your privacy, he wore his heart on his sleeve. But, right now, he was on the force. It was all business.

"Alright. Meet ya' there-" You stole a glance at your messages and noticed the address. "Geez, north side of town? Oh - that's a factory, isn't it?"

"AlphaBio," Connor answered simply.

Naturally, you recognized that name, having a small stash of their chips at the clinic.

"You don't think it's related to the protests?" you asked. It was less of a question and more of a suggestion.

"It is... likely," Connor replied, sounding a little hesitant to answer you.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised... I'm'a let you go so I can get changed."

"I will see you soon - oh - and, good morning," Connor said warmly. You could practically hear the smile on his face.

You giggled, "good morning, Connor. See you soon," before hanging up.

...

Connor had failed to mention it was the crime scene for a homicide. Although, he was, specifically, a homicide detective; so, it really shouldn't have surprised you.

The first responders had separated the three damaged androids from the body and sanctioned off that part of the crime scene to everyone but the detectives.

You had been there for almost an hour and had yet to see Connor.

Two of the androids were AP700 models. They were almost exact twins, except one had blue eyes and the other had brown eyes. The third android was a BL100 model. She had her factory issued hair swapped with something short, boyish, and ebony black.

All of them had suffered defensive wounds. The detectives made it very clear you weren't to be given any insight to their testimonies. It was understandable. They wanted to verify that your findings matched their statements without preconceived notions.

Luckily, most of their wounds were superficial. The worse injury of the batch was one of the AP700's had severe nerve damage on his inner, right elbow, cutting off movement to his forearm and fingers. It was an easy fix, and he seemed grateful.

The BL100 was hesitant to let you touch her, not that you were the least bit offended or surprised. You knew what she was designed for, and she knew that you knew. It was only after she saw you handle the other two androids with respect that she felt comfortable enough to let you help her.

As you treated their damages, you documented them with a tablet one of the officers had given you. It was a little difficult, considering their documentation was designed for humans. Somehow, you managed to make it work.

You had been there for a little over two hours before you finally saw Connor. He had actually caught you off guard. You were seated at a small, fold out desk, tapping away on the DPD tablet when you saw someone suddenly approach in the corner of your eye. They set a water bottle at the edge of the desk.

Your eyes shifted to his torso first. Oh. He was wearing his nice coat today, and a matching, black tie.

"Thank you," you uttered, a small smile forming on your lips. You didn't maneuver too far from the tablet, going over your work carefully to make sure everything was properly notated. Considering it was documentation for human wounds, you had to put extra care into it.

"Hey, Robocop!" Detective Reed called out suddenly, before the android could say anything to you.

Connor knew he was talking about him, and wanted to ignore him; but, they were at a crime scene and this was important. He couldn't ignore him right now.

He shifted his eyes from you and over to the other detective. You froze up at the word 'Robocop', somehow doubting it was intended to be a word of endearment.

When Gavin saw that Connor was looking, he continued. "This computer is having issues. I figured it was your cousin or something. So, you should be able to fix it, yeah?"

All at once, blood rushed to your face and rage started to rise in you like smoke in a chimney.

Everyone in the room heard Gavin's remark: Hank, on the other side of the room, going over the case details with the first responding officers, another detective who had been dusting for prints along every entryway, a total of four police officers, and the CSI operator sitting at the desk next to Gavin.

If Connor was annoyed, he was doing a damn good job of hiding it.

The android approached the detective. "Androids are far more complicated than desktop computers," he said calmly, keeping his eyes focused on Gavin. He wasn't just calm: he was polite. "I won't be of much help, I'm afraid."

The person seated in front of the computer, a member of their computer division, looked uncomfortable enough to commit seppuku right then and there.

"Do the hand thing," Gavin suggested, lifting his hand for a moment and waving it like he was talking to a child. "You know - probe it."

"I can only probe androids," Connor answered, plainly, as if unbothered by the ridiculousness of it all.

"It's fine. I can recover the data-" the crime scene investigator tried to mediate. It was clear that Gavin wasn't listening to him.

"Ohhh - right - right," Gavin replied, drawing out his words in mock understanding. "Poor girlfriend," he added on with a chuckle.

Did he just suggest-...?

Something in you snapped. You carefully set down the tablet, pushed your chair back, and marched over to the detective.

"Who the fuck do you think you are?" you called out to the detective, not caring if everyone in this god-damned room was watching.

The smug bastard turned around, eyeing you. You stepped right up to him, fearless, fire in your eyes. You could tell Connor was looking at you; but, most of your vision was being taken in by this asshole, leaving you unable to make out Connor's expression.

"Ugh - shit," Hank muttered to himself. He approached, deciding to intervene before things got ugly.

"A real cop," Gavin sneered at you. "-and you are here as a formality. Don't push your luck."

"Connor is a real cop," you practically snarled at the guy. "He deserves just as much respect as anyone else."

"That's enough," Hank said lowly, directed at both you and the detective.

The lieutenant looked around, eyes briefly scanning everyone in the room. "This isn't a high school locker room. Get back to work," he hollered. He was loud and commanding. His words didn't fall on deaf ears.

Except, you and Detective Reed were still locked in a death glare.

You wanted to punch him. You hadn't felt the desire to do that since college, when you had to share crowded hallways with smug assholes who thought they owned the world.

Somehow, you had a feeling, the detective could sense that.

"Unless you wanna get arrested for assaulting a police officer, honey, I suggest you back down," he threatened, craning his neck a little to get closer to you.

The android felt his internal temperature rise at the word 'honey'. He didn't care if Gavin called him 'plastic detective', 'robocop', or whatever else came to mind. But, that, directed at you, specifically, bothered him.

Connor could see how tense you were, staring Gavin down with the kind of burning rage he had seen in you once before, directed at himself when he attempted to prevent you from salvaging supplies from a truck in the middle of a firefighter.

He wasn't sure if you would actually hit Detective Reed; but, he couldn't take that chance. There was a high probability that Detective Reed would go through with his threat. You didn't have a criminal record, and Connor didn't want you to end up with one, especially because of him.

The android moved in and slid his arm around your waist. He pulled you into him and away from Gavin, turning his back to the detective. With his legs moving, you had no choice but to shuffle your own feet to keep up with him, practically being dragged away. You flailed awkwardly, but Connor kept you up.

"Don't," Connor requested. You glared at the detective over Connor's shoulder.

Gavin seemed pleased with that. "I would listen to your vibrator, sweetheart," he called out to you smugly, starting to step away. "Might do ya' some good!"

"You don't fucking know when to quit," Hank snarled, his hand roughly falling onto Gavin's shoulder, giving him a push away from you.

"Take your own advice, fuckhead!" you almost shouted over Connor's shoulder. "Maybe if you got laid every once in a while, you wouldn't be such a piece of s-"

"Please don't," Connor interrupted you, stepping in the way so that he took up most of your field of view.

"Connor, don't you fucking-" you hissed at him.

"He's not worth it," Connor warned, eyes narrowing slightly at you. Well, that was new. He actually looked a little angry with you.

"Like fuck he isn't. That bastard deserves to be punched in his stupid bitch-ass fa-"

"I don't want you to get in trouble," he insisted, shaking you a little.

You clenched your jaw, glaring at the android's stupid, handsome face. That bastard disrespected him. You had no doubt that it wasn't the first time, and it sure as hell wouldn't be the last.

"I like when you get angry," Connor commented with a small grin. He didn't say it, but you couldn't hear it being followed with, 'cute'. He seemed enamored in that moment, and he was, captivated by how passionate you were in his defense, even if it didn't exactly make sense to him.

"...maybe I should punch you instead," you grumbled, trying not to be completely smitten with him.

Connor removed his arm from your waist and stepped back a little, giving you space. You let go of his shoulders and fixed your scrub top, which had been bunched up a little after he grabbed you.

"Well-" you stammered, feeling a little flustered. You couldn't help it. You liked it when he was like this. Connor wanted to be protective, but he also wanted to give you freedom, and it clashed so beautifully in him.

"Y-yeah, well, he fucking had it coming and - and you should'a just let me-..." You sighed heavily. Of course he shouldn't have just let you do whatever.

But, still-

-you were frustrated.

"-you're in the doghouse, mister," you proclaimed quietly, sounding barely serious at all, and poked a finger into Connor's shoulder.

The android stared at you, perplexed.

The dog... house?

As you stepped away and returned to the desk, Connor searched the internet for the meaning of that. From his findings: it seemed to be a word primarily used between couples and meant that someone was in trouble for angering the other, and held the connotation that the one in said 'doghouse' would not be bedding with the one they had angered.

Connor fixed his tie in place of his pride.

He couldn't say he didn't understand why you would be upset with him. What he had done to you was degrading, wasn't it? He had manhandled you, in front of everyone.

He despised Detective Reed, if he was being perfectly honest. It was something he had struggled with; but, it was inevitable that he would meet people whom he simply could never get along with.

He could make sense of being disliked for being an android; he had heard many, many reasons ranging from past traumas to selfish insecurities. But, Detective Reed sought out ways to degrade him whenever the moment convenienced him.

It didn't exactly help that Connor had left him passed out in the evidence room some odd months ago. That likely left a huge dent in his ego. Of course, Connor didn't bring it up because he didn't care.

Connor had yet to hear the detective actually call him by his name. If he was being perfectly honest, 'robocop' was somehow the most flattering of the bunch.

Detective Reed seemed to enjoy relating him to every piece of computer equipment in the office. Connor knew this was to remind him that he wasn't human: he was a machine, a computer wrapped in plastic.

-and, he enjoyed emasculating Connor.

The android didn't care of the extent of Detective Reed's knowledge of his genitalia or whether or not he was capable of pleasing you sexually; but, you cared?

Maybe, while he was in the 'doghouse', he could try to make sense of it.

...

"It's almost midnight. What the hell are you still doing here, Connor?" Hank barked at him.

Connor looked up at his desk, uttering, "I could ask you the same thing, detective..."

Hank was holding his coffee mug in one hand, a folder in the other. He laughed, mumbling, "smartass", as he sat back down at his desk.

The android sighed out your name, "-said I'm in the 'doghouse'. I assumed that meant she wanted space."

Hank let out a bellowing laugh that almost startled the android. He nearly split his coffee, too. After Hank calmed his laughter and looked at him again, and caught that childish frown on Connor's face, he started laughing again.

"Trust me, son-" Hank coughed, still trying to calm his laughter. "She doesn't want space. She wants you to go home and apologize."

Connor looked at Hank like he was analyzing. He hadn't looked at Hank like that in a long time.

"I see..." he uttered, sounding quite embarrassed.

"It's about the thing Gavin said, huh?" Hank added on. "You not having a huge ego is good for you and all, but - of course she was gonna defend you because well - you know."

Hank waved his hand at Connor, not explicitly wanting to say what he was thinking.

"But," Hank continued, "you did the right thing: stopping her before she did something stupid. She knows that, which is why ya' need'ta go home and apologize anyway. Women are... like that."

Hank paused and took a sip of his coffee, hissing in response to how hot it was; however, that didn't stop him from immediately going in for another drink.

The android pondered over the lieutenant's words quickly.

"Thanks, Hank," Connor said, hastily removing himself from his desk. It was the first time he left the office without tucking his chair back in.

#connor x reader #deviant connor #deviant connor x reader #dbh fanfic #rk800 x reader #rk800 smut #connor smut

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brandyllyn · 3 years

Text

In our own image... (26)

Chapter 26

(Poe Dameron x OFC)

Other chapters... My Masterlist

Word count: 2k. Read it on AO3.

Rating: Teen & Up (PG) language.

"I’m not sure that fucker deserves her."

BB-8 spun in place, flickering their lights to red to show their displeasure. "Will you please watch your language? That is my Friend you are speaking of."

K-0 rocked in place, tilting their sensor array. "Your friend is an ass."

If BB-8 had lungs they would have sighed at that. They vastly preferred when K-0 communicated in Basic. With the language filters on, it was much easier to ignore the Binary and focus on the words. That way they didn’t have to listen to the little droid call Poe things such as 'ass' or 'motherfucker'. Instead, it was simply 'Bad man' which was simpler and also no where near as insulting.

BB-8 could see Poe and Kina talking to each other across the bay. Even to the droid’s sensors it was clear the two still had feelings for each other. If they could only get K-0 onboard they were sure they could fix whatever it was that had driven their two friends apart.

"Friend Poe cares for Friend Kina," BB-8 tried again. "So do I. I believe they were confused before but are not any longer."

K-0 dipped sideways. "Kina likes him, for what reason I cannot fucking imagine. But I will not let that bantha-shitter hurt her again."

Flashing a set of mocking indicators BB-8 said, "Did I not see you let Friend Poe pet you?"

"I did not," K-0 replied vehemently. "I was simply testing his response times to see if he was truly better."

BB-8 gave a trill but did not pursue the matter. They needed K-0 on their side if they were going to make this work. "Whatever your reason, I believe we both agree that our Friends are unhappy apart, yes?"

"Yes," came K-0’s grudging reply.

"And we have limited time in which to affect a reconciliation. After we return to base, we will lose this chance."

K-0 nodded. "You’re not wrong, even if you are ass-ugly."

BB-8 ignored the last comment. "I have an idea. But we’re going to need everyone’s help." As they laid out their plan, BB-8 could see that the smaller droid became more interested, even pointed out a couple of things they had not thought of. And when K-0 realized that their role was to wreak havoc, BB-8 began to worry about the pleased flicker of the droid’s lights.

Mission set, BB-8 went to find Rey first. She was in the cockpit with Chewbacca which was helpful as BB-8 could talk to them together.

"Friend Rey I have something to ask of you." Rey smiled at them and BB-8 twirled happily. Other than Poe, Rey was perhaps their favorite person.

"What do you need?"

BB-8 outlined their plan, carefully watching the human’s face. They had been programmed well to read most human emotions and could see confusion give way to interest and then amusement.

"Did you come up with this by yourself Beeb?"

BB-8 twirled. "K-0 helped, but it was my idea. Do you like it?"

Rey nodded. "I think it might work. Chewie, are you in?"

"I do not like deceit," the Wookie rumbled and BB-8 flashed their lights anxiously.

"You do not need to deceive, Friend Chewbacca. You can retire early and not be a part of the plan." Chewbacca nodded and BB-8 let out a relieved whistle. "Thank you. I must find Finn."

"Wait," Rey called and BB-8 turned back. "When is this starting?"

"K-0 has already begun the shutdown."

Rey laughed and BB-8 spun in place. "You were pretty certain we’d go along weren’t you?"

Tilting slightly, BB-8 flashed their light blue. "We were prepared to conduct this plan without you if necessary. But your help will make things much easier."

They found Finn in the cargo bay. Unfortunately, he was with Poe which was not optimal. BB-8 spun in place, computing possible outcomes. Just when they were considering causing an alarm of some kind they saw K-0 darting across the hangar. They could not hear what K-0 said but soon enough Finn was following the other droid and BB-8 ducked around the wall and waited until the door slid closed behind him.

"Friend Finn! Please wait I need to speak with you."

The man stopped and looked down at the two droids, eyebrows raised. "What do you two want? You looking for Poe?"

"Friend Finn we have a plan and need your cooperation."

"He’s right in here," Finn said, reaching for the door panel. BB-8 quickly moved between him and it, forcing the man to back away.

"He can’t understand you dumbass."

BB-8 flashed an angry red light at K-0 and then looked up at Finn. "My apologies Friend Finn, I forgot about your shortcoming. Please follow me." They rolled a few feet and looked back, waiting for Finn to follow. Obviously confused, the man did.

"Where is this parade heading?"

BB-8 skidded to a stop at the sound of her voice. Oh no, not Kina. Frantic, they started to say something but K-0 beat them to it.

"Kina help?"

Kina instantly focused on the small droid. "What do you need K-0?"

K-0 rocked back and forth with a slight wobble. "Problem. Kina help?" The droid was really a lot nicer to listen to in Basic.

The two left and BB-8 let out a small relieved beep before leading Finn to the cockpit and ensuring the door shut behind him.

"What’s this?’ Finn asked, looking at Rey. "What do you need?"

Rey smiled at him and then gestured at BB-8. "It’s not us, it’s all BB."

"Friend Rey please tell Friend Finn the plan. He does not understand me."

Rey grinned at them and relayed the information to Finn. BB-8 watched the man’s eyes go wide and then a huge grin spread across his face. "That is a great idea Beebs."

Pleased, BB-8 spun a little and then dipped their top unit. "Thank you for thinking so, it will take some help, are you able?"

"Of course I am," Finn tapped them gently. "I don’t know if I’d take a blaster bolt for you little buddy but I got your back."

"I would not ask you to do such a thing Friend Finn."

BB-8 rocked anxiously as the crew sat down to dinner. According to their sensors the temperature onboard had already dropped ten degrees. They could see Kina was absently rubbing her hands over her arms.

"I am retiring," stated Chewbacca abruptly, standing up so quickly that he nearly overturned the table. When he passed BB-8 he gave the droid a nod and BB-8 nodded back.

"Are you cold?" Poe asked Kina and BB-8 gave a low pleased whistle. They looked and saw Rey give them a small thumbs up from where she was sitting with Finn.

"Yeah, a little," Kina replied, hands rubbing her arms. "It’s getting chilly in here."

"I noticed," Poe said, leaning over the back of the bench and coming back with a thick blanket and carefully wrapping it around Kina’s shoulders. She laid her hand on his and they stared at each other for long enough that BB-8 began to wonder if their plan was even necessary. That was until Poe said "I’ll go check on the environmental systems."

BB-8 followed Poe to the cockpit, settling nearby while Poe brought up the controls.

"Beebs can you check on the heating system for me?"

"Of course Friend Poe," BB-8 replied. The system looked exactly like it should - zero power. For just a moment BB-8 appreciated the work that K-0 had done - re-routing various systems and processes until it was a maze of faults and issues. Even knowing what they were looking at, it still took BB-8 a few moments to map the havoc the droid had wreaked. "All power to the heating units have been suspended."

"What do you mean suspended?" Poe looked down at BB-8 and the droid felt a small stab of anxiety. They did not like deceiving Poe.

"I am searching the systems now." True. "It seems there has been a fault in the power conduits." Also true. "I am attempting to re-route." True but also… BB-8 was purposefully only trying things they knew wouldn’t work. "Friend Poe I believe this will require a full reset of the power conduits."

"A full reset?" Poe’s brows drew together in a look BB-8 knew to mean their Friend was thinking. "But that would take hours."

"I am afraid so Friend Poe."

Poe sighed, "Well, not like I was planning on doing anything else."

No! This was not the plan. BB-8 ran through several million computations quickly. "Friend Poe, I do not believe that would be safe for you. Without the environmental systems the heating on Friend Falcon will not be enough to maintain life."

Poe’s eyebrows rose and he lifted his hands to blow on them. "Are you saying we’re going to freeze to death?"

"I am rerouting power from the weapons systems, not all of it!" BB-8 corrected quickly when they saw Poe’s frown. "I can turn on some heating in the berths. Enough to sustain livable conditions."

"A cold night’s sleep and wake up to a warm ship again?" Poe sighed. "Not the worst plan I guess. Are you sure about this buddy?"

"I am sure."

"Thanks," Poe said, running a hand along BB-8’s sensor array and BB-8 felt the tingle of the electrical pulses through their system. As soon as Poe was out of sight BB-8 disengaged from the ship and followed at a distance.

Kina was alone in the commons when Poe returned and BB-8 was pleased to see that Rey and Finn had done their part of the plan.

"The others went to their bunks, said it had been a long day which… true." Kina said with a shrug, holding the blanket tight to her.

"Smart people," Poe snorted. "There’s a problem with the heating. Beebs is going to do a reboot of the system but it’s a lot of waiting around. In the meantime, he’s routing what he can to the bunks."

"Ah," Kina leaned her head back. "So it’s not just me?"

Poe tucked his hands into his armpits. "No, it’s really knifing cold in here."

Laughing, Kina stood and BB-8 quickly backed away and into the corridor that led to the cockpit. From here they could hear but not see the people.

"I can hear Chewbacca snoring," Kina whistled. "Calling dibs on not that bunk."

"You’re cruel," said Poe.

BB-8 heard the door to one of the berths open and then there was a beat of silence.

"Poe?"

"Yeah?"

"Looks like neither of us will be sleeping with Chewbacca."

"What do you mea-oh. Huh."

"They must not have been thinking. They must have just gone back to their same bunks - we slept together the last two nights."

"We did?"

"Not like that."

BB-8 heard Poe laugh and cautiously looked around the corner. Kina and Poe were standing looking at the empty triple bunks in the berth. The other sleeping compartment was the same - but with three people missing they had correctly deduced the other berth was full.

"You can have the top bunk," Poe said, gesturing Kina inside and BB-8 saw her smile at him before she entered. BB-8 watched until both disappeared. As soon as the door slid shut they whistled out to K-0 to turn the heat back on for the ship. There was no need to freeze out all of their friends. Just the two they were invested in.

Organic creatures craved contact with each other. And if those two were not going to engage in it naturally, BB-8 would assure that they were driven to it.

Chpt 27

#poe dameron #poe dameron x ofc #poe dameron / ofc #star wars sequels #star wars fanfiction

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pleom · 4 years

Photo

Your core burns with activity.

Alarm spikes through you for a single moment, but slowly simmers down when you remember—yes, you did use a condom, and yes, you did pee afterwards. Your self-reassurance startles you back awake. You pull yourself up, grappling with reality and past memories, and with wide eyes you soak in the gray sheets around you.

Your smell comes to and—yep, it’s Chan. It’s all Chan.

For a second you hope that maybe it was part of a dream (a wet dream, perhaps?) and that instead you crashed over at your friend’s house after a meltdown and he was kind enough to carry you to his bed. The past week all comes crashing down on you at once, like how it always did since a member of your group flunked on your business project. Coupled with that, is the memory of last night. When you and Chan both met up and vented about your problems—his with his roommate Felix.

You were so stressed you were both screaming at no one in particular, but just to let your fury out. After that, he reached into his fridge and pulled out several cans of beer; no doubt Felix’s—Chan doesn’t drink, at least didn’t until last night. Your head had been too hot with your explosive anger for you to question it.

You remember downing the drinks until the alcohol clouded your anger just right, but left behind a little more. Chan’s hand was on your arm one moment, and you were halfway across his lap the next.

“Not sure whether to be glad or not to remember the rest,” you groan, planting your head on your raised knees. The bed has been empty since you woke up, and the house is strangely silent as to where its owner currently roams. Your grogginess fades and brings to light new bodily sensations, such as the air-conditioned goosebumps along your arms, the cotton stuck inside your throat, and the pressing of your bladder against your stomach. You groan once more, and contemplate the chances of you being caught. What if you run into your long-term friend and recently dubbed one-night-stand on the way to the bathroom? What if he’s down the hall right now? What if he’s mingling in the kitchen, close to the only exit out of his apartment? The hairs on your arms straighten at the thoughts.

It’s not that you don’t want to approach him. But you know how you both are—how you tiptoe around conversations about sex and relationships, how you both avoid the other’s eyes when someone hints at the slightest bit of interest between you two; and Chan’s no pro at covering the tips of his ears whenever you lean too close or praise his talent after he shows you the latest snippet of his work. You can even think back to last night, where his breath hitched when you pulled apart and he hesitated stripping off pieces of your clothing. Even with the aphrodisiac of alcohol, he still managed to be his timid and mindful self.

Your next interaction is bound to be awkward, so you’d like that to happen after you’ve soothed your aches and bruises with a drawn bath while contemplating where you both stand.

The only thing between you and that luxury is the walk between his bed and his front door. You quickly settle on taking the first step out of many. The floor groans lightly under your feet as you guide yourself off his bed to his bedroom door. His room carries none of your possessions—no phone, no purse, no nothing—and you’re not even sure where to begin adding that to your getaway plan.

So rather you forget about it altogether, and instead grab whatever you can carry on your back—which is your clothes—and stealthily close Chan’s bedroom door behind you. You pause in the hallway, listening closely to the sounds of his house, and trek on. Moving around in your state feels entirely uncomfortable, with the way your skin sticks with dried sweat, your hair is a mess, and you teeter on the edge of pissing yourself, but you hang on to the image of your bath calling out to you and catch someone else calling out somewhere down the hall.

It doesn’t sound like Chan, but would Felix be back so quickly after last night? Chan made it seem like he fucked off entirely, as in packing up his bags and leaving to sleep over at some friend’s house.

Truthfully, though, you don’t plan to stay long enough to find out. The hall opens up to the main rooms, the living and kitchen room, though the structure of his house blocks your view from immediately seeing into them. The voices become clearer, and yep, that’s Chan, immersed in a full-fledged conversation. That should make your exit easier.

You duck around the lights coming from the windows and lamps and stick to the shadow. Lowly crouched, you maneuver until you’re just behind a counter and definitively out of his sight. From there, it should be a straight line to the front door, and a jog down the block to home. You may not have your keys on you but surely you can jump inside from an open window, right? Maybe you left your door unlocked, as irresponsible as that is, it would prove to be a lifesaver. And if none of that works, you’re sure your friend wouldn’t mind holding a brunch party with you.

“Excuse me for a moment,”

Of course, it is never that easy.

You hear the creak of a chair aching for the return of its occupant, and the heavy bare-footed steps of—no doubt—your best friend Chan. Your body starts breaking into new sweat, and you quietly saunter further behind the safety of his kitchen appliances. He could easily be making his way towards the bathroom, or even his own bedroom to check on you. Under the stress of anxiety, your senses pick up on your surroundings more clearly, and you find yourself making note of the thin scent of milk and bananas. Someone has already raided the kitchen for their serving, so the chances of someone walking in again should be—

“Find what you’re looking for down there?”

One hundred percent, apparently.

Chan leans against the counter with his hands folded together, a knowing smirk on his lips. He looks down at you expectantly, though he shows no intent in rushing an answer out of you.

“Uh, not yet,” your lips move before your brain has time to compute. You almost want to smack yourself for blubbering like an idiot on his kitchen floor. Meanwhile, Chan raises his eyebrows in amusement.

“Well, let me know when you do,”

You simply nod your head and look down at your feet. Clenching your eyes shut, you count down the seconds before your heart slows down to a tolerable beat. When you aren’t met with the sound of Chan shuffling away or tapping away on his phone or moving to chat with the person he left in the living room, you turn your head to find him still standing there, unmoving and just as amused as before. He’s obviously not planning on leaving anytime soon.

Sighing, you bring yourself to stand upright. Chan doesn’t say anything, although he does cock an eyebrow as if to ask a mocking question. If he’s willing to draw this out, why not go along with it?

“Nope… still looking,” you say monotonously.

Chan finally reacts in a way that doesn’t involve staring straight at you, and collapses against the counter to let out a loud laugh. He steadies himself almost immediately and gazes at you with fond, moon-crescent eyes. He just barely holds back his giggles as he spits out his next words.

“Hope you don’t mind me borrowing you away from your search for a minute,”

You wince because you know exactly what he means. But that doesn’t mean you can’t hold it off for as long as you can, hopefully for as long as it takes to tiptoe over to his front door.

“Uh, sure. What is it?”

That definitely knocks the smile off Chan’s face. He gapes at you incredulously and squints his eyes before repeating your words back at you.

“What is it?”

You know why he’s so dumbfounded; he’s easier to read than a book. Similarly, he’s more fun to play with than a toy, so you have no problem dancing around his disbelief. You look behind him and spot a tuft of bright red hair, so you answer his question with another one.

“Made up with Felix yet?”

Chan glances behind him for a second before turning forward. He stutters a bit before inhaling deeply.

“Yeah, workin’ on it. But that’s not what I wanna talk about.”

“And that is…” you cross your arms and raise a brow, drawing out the conversation longer. Perhaps, the more you beat around the bush, the more likely he is to drop the issue, help you grab your items and usher your way out of his apartment. Maybe out of embarrassment, he’ll abandon the topic until you both are ready to bring it back to light.

“…Last night,” Chan finishes. He doesn’t continue past that point, instead opts to study your face for any cue that you’ll take the matter seriously. Unfortunately for both of your sakes, you don’t.

“Oh, yeah. You really helped clear my mind. I thought about what you said and I think I’ll try to have one last chat with my partner about him pulling his work, and if that doesn’t help I’ll ask my professor to drop him.”

Chan looks irritated for a moment, then relieved, and then back to peeved. His brows furrow as he tries to digest your words and comprehend your actions.

“You…know what I mean,” and he says it in such a low voice it makes your stomach jump. He’s totally almost at his wits end, and you consider driving him over the edge, to give him that final push to wish you goodbye and a safe trip. But the tips of his ears begin to turn a bright pink, then a dark red, and soon his cheeks follow, and you realize just how much this discussion matters to him.

Your gaze falls to the floor and you shamefully kick your feet against the ground.

“I do,” you finally admit. But you still don’t feel comfortable addressing the subject in its entirety. You still need to relax, to form your thoughts, and grasp the implications behind his actions and yours. Your mind is as muddled as it can be. And your relationship with Chan is still a question for the future. So you try to lessen the bite, at least for right now. “It was great, Chan. And trust me, I don’t regret anything—I think. But we don’t have to force meaning into it, okay? Let’s just recognize it as a thing that happened, for now.”

Chan looks startled by the sincerity in your voice after minutes of you playing around. But he accepts it wholly, and nods while carefully taking in your words.

The calm in your stomach is once again disturbed by the weight in his features. He seems so lost in thought and consideration, and you wonder if you’ve said the wrong things. Did you offend him? Is he disappointed? Angry? One thing’s for sure is that he is not happy—the little knot between his eyebrows reveals as much. You start to ponder if even you agree with what you’ve said.

Chan looks up at just the right moment, and within his eyes you see determination, a new vigor, and you almost perk up to hear what he’ll say next.

“That’s the thing. I don’t wanna just end on meaningless sex. If you’d let me, I’d love to take you out sometime? For breakfast, maybe?”

He sounds so hopeful, and you can imagine his heart is beating just as hard as yours inside his chest. You start to feel the same warmth as last night, anxious and feverish, but ready. You think back to his soft lips on yours, his calloused fingertips pressed against your chest, and feel eager to delve back into that again, but with more passion and history. Your lips stretch into a smile and out it tumbles—

“Sure, sounds like a plan.”

#bang chan #skz scenarios #stray kids scenarios #bang chan scenarios #skz smut #stray kids smut #bang chan smut #stray kids imagines #skz imagines #bang chan imagines #skz fluff #stray kids fluff #bang chan fluff #skz angst #stray kids angst #bang chan angst #.mine

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ecoamerica · 1 month

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youtube

Watch the 2024 American Climate Leadership Awards for High School Students now: https://youtu.be/5C-bb9PoRLc

The recording is now available on ecoAmerica's YouTube channel for viewers to be inspired by student climate leaders! Join Aishah-Nyeta Brown & Jerome Foster II and be inspired by student climate leaders as we recognize the High School Student finalists. Watch now to find out which student received the $25,000 grand prize and top recognition!

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things-we-used-tc-share · 3 years

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The Town That Never Was

[Image Description: a long road with decaying plants on either side, with text overlayed that reads ‘the town that never was’ in white. A white icon of a clock is placed underneath the text /end ID]

I’m re-releasing the first four chapters as I’ve edited them!

Ships: DLAMP/CALMD, Remile.

Warnings: Cheating is mentioned at some point during this fic in the past, some slight horror themes but in a comedic sort of way, kidnapping is mentioned but again this is like a comedy-horror so there’s not a lot of suspense.

Plot: In Hell, a town of roughly 1,000 people, nothing that is supposed to happen ever happens and everything that physically should happen, does. Logan, a scientist, goes there in hopes of studying the world’s most unfortunate, and miraculous, town. But no one who ever enters ever finds the will to leave again.

Chapter One: The man who can see everything, and the scientist from normality.

Logan has a habit that mostly includes acting first and thinking about his safety a few hours later, usually when he has a burned hand or a broken bone, and then it’s followed by a “worth it!” as he accepts his own recklessness in favour of science. Today is one of those reckless days. Well, so far it’s been a reckless week (and a reckless life), as he’s been driving for about four days now.

He sees the “Welcome to Hell,” sign that has been overgrown by an abundance of tree roots despite the fact there are no trees for miles. The blue-eyed scientist sighs to himself absently as he gets the foreboding feeling that the next week of his life, should things go the way he planned, is going to be a series of these events and as it stands he has been driving far too long to hop out of his car near sunset to run tests on tree roots that should not exist.

The sun is, by the way, setting far too early for this time of year.

As he gets within the town’s boundaries, his car radio fizzles and automatically tunes into the suddenly only available radio station; Logan assumes this is harmless and simply listens to the soft indie beats that are now playing with no issue. The sky; where the sun is setting, is painted in a brilliant red, whilst the sun itself looks to be a somewhat magnificent ball of fire (which, of course, it is, but it doesn’t usually look literally as a ball of fire, you know, the kind when some idiot in class decides to bring a lighter to school and sets the waste paper bin on fire? yeah, that sort of fire). There are tall, black pylons everywhere, and the buildings seem old and are either wooden or Greek, which is interesting because as far as Logan knows, the ancient Greeks never quite got to America, yet these buildings certainly seem very old. Impossibly old.

He already has an infinitesimal amount of questions, and he’s aware that (as warned) that small pile is going to grow over the course of his stay here.

The music stops playing and a voice tunes in over the static waves of the radio “Welcome back listeners,” The dulcet, deep tones rumble against Logan’s ears and if voices could be a point of attraction then Logan would say this is an attractive voice. “A special welcome to the mildly ominous white economical car that just rolled into town full of what appears to be an impressive amount of science equipment, I don’t know who you are but you are apparently quite handsome, so I’m certainly hoping I’ll know you at some point,” Logan flushes a little and as if the radio presenter could see him, he chuckles. “We’ll run into each other, anyway, to the regular listeners this is your usual news on the town,”

Logan pulls up outside the place he had booked to stay but as he turns off the car he can’t help but lean back to listen to the radio presenter some more. “The sun is on fire, but more so than usual, the police advise you don’t look directly into it, or do, I’m not the boss of you and you can make your own decisions for yourself,” Logan snorts a little, shaking his head full of dark curls “Three strange cult-like figures have appeared in the outskirts of the town, on the west side entrance, they don’t appear to be doing anything but simply standing there, if someone has recently attempted to summon a demon or any otherwise ominous presence, please report it to Roman, our town’s exorcist who will help you deal with this problem, unfortunately until he knows exactly what they are, there is nothing he can do to help, thank you Roman, for being as useless as ever,”

The scientist laughs then and finally turns off the radio, grabbing his bag out of the back amongst a whole load of gadgets as he walks up to the front door. He can hear voices on the other side before the front door is thrown open extravagantly to reveal a young man with unruly dirty blonde curls. Logan, who hadn’t even knocked yet, blinks with a perturbed expression “Hello?”

“Hello!” The stranger replies with a smile a little too wide and hazel eyes a little too bright. “Don’t mind Remy, he turns into a cat when he’s anxious, but come on in!” Logan exhales deeply, cheeks puffing out as he shakes his head. “Oh yes, you’re an outsider, you’re probably not used to Hell standards of weird, sorry,” The man picks up the cat and places him on top of the counter before he moves around the other side “You’re staying for a week, yes?”

“That’s the plan,” Logan chuckles “...but I’m told plans don’t tend to work out here.”

“Oh no, they never do, all rooms are booked for at least a month just in case, I’ve added a few extra days on free of charge, we don’t tend to get many visitors so I doubt they’ll go amiss,” The man scans a keycard through the computer system, it fizzes slightly and he hits the side of it before trying again. “There you go, you’re in room 13,” He hands the keycard over “...and if you need me just ring,” he taps the phone “Phone number is on the bedside table.”

“Thank you....?”

“Oh! Emile, I’m Emile, that’s Remy, he’s not a cat, he just looks like one right now,” Remy blinks two wide golden eyes at Logan, he does certainly look like a cat. “He should be back to normal when he’s finished having a tantrum.” Remy hisses in response. “Have a nice night!”

Logan decides that he’s already reaching his limit with weird and he’s only been here maybe half an hour, although his watch has also mysteriously stopped working so there’s no real way to tell. He puts on his pyjamas, climbs into bed and tries to fall asleep.

It takes him an hour and a half to do so. Roughly.

When he wakes up the next morning, and finishes going through the usual human morning routine, he wanders downstairs to find a man who isn’t Emile sat on the chair behind the desk with headphones on. His name tag read “Remy,” and he’s wearing sunglasses inside. Otherwise he’s completely normal; a worn down leather jacket accompanying a black shirt and ripped jeans, hanging off a man who is of normal height and stature for someone in his early 20′s.

“Sorry about being a cat when you got here,” Remy pulls an earphone out to speak, chewing on bubblegum as he does “...me and Emile were having a domestic, how is your room?”

“Adequate,” Logan replies, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “So the turning into a cat thing is that...genetic?” Remy laughs a little and shakes his head.

“In what world would that be genetic?” He kicks his feet off of the table and sits up a little straighter “No, it was a curse.” Logan nods slowly, wondering why one is less likely than the other, and then thinking that he doesn’t want to know why because then he would start thinking like a resident here, and that sounds like a nightmare. “We do have an exorcist, and he’s supposed to really be able to dabble in lots of different type of magic, but so far he’s been unsuccessful.”

The dark-haired scientist recalls the radio presenter from last night “Roman, right?” Remy nods in response.

The door opens then to let in a bright array of sunshine, and Remy scrunches his nose up in distaste, pushing his sunglasses even further up his nose as if that might have been possible. The man that is silhouetted against the door frame looks too bright, but as he speaks, Logan recognises the deep and soothing tone “Good morning, stranger.”

The door closes behind him and the man leans against the wall with a wide grin. His skin is tan, a caramel colour with light blonde hair that has been pushed to the side and back, exposing two-toned golden snake eyes. Logan is starting to regret his journey and coming here at all, and he is certainly not enjoying the way his own heart thunders in his chest, or the slight warmth to his cheeks. Perhaps it’s the sharp angles of the man’s jaw, the snakeskin that covers half of his face, or the gentle radiant glow this man has, but he is...astoundingly beautiful.

Weird shit, Logan can deal with, feelings? Not at all.

“Welcome to Hell, literally, that’s the name of this place. America’s most singularly, scientifically fucked town, where everything that shouldn’t happen, definitely does happen,” The man grins, dark eyes blinking. Logan blinks back, opens his mouth, and then decides he doesn’t have any words in his extensive vocabulary to explain this. “What brings such a handsome young man to the town?”

“Science,” Logan mutters. “I came to investigate the town, scientifically this place is fascinating, a hive of energy that exists nowhere else.” He straightens his lab coat and holds up a device that had been in his hand. “So far I’ve discovered extremely unusual readings, and...” Logan talks, he explains, and the stranger looks at him with an incredibly dopey look.

“Uh-huh,” he mutters as the scientist talks extremely enigmatically, all strangeness and shyness are forgotten as he loses himself in his interest.

“Sorry, I didn’t ask what your name was, I don’t think I caught it last night.” The tan-skinned man smiles softly before shaking his head.

“You didn’t,” Logan doesn’t know how he knows this. “My name is Deceit, but most people call me Dee, I run the radio show,” The scientist smiles and nods, offering a hand for him to shake. Deceit practically purred at the contact to his gloved hand; he can’t help it when someone so pretty comes wandering in, all fair skin and dark hair with such...enticing cobalt eyes, he has to blush a little.

But the moment of bliss is interrupted as the door opens again, slamming behind the second newcomer of the morning. Remy, who clearly does not like having visitors, sighs in annoyance and looks up to a dark-skinned man with long hair and is..dripping in jewellery. The man is holding a book in his hand and he goes to speak before he looks up, only to see Deceit (in which his gaze turns sour) and then Logan (in which his eyebrow quirks, a slow smirk crosses his face and the book snaps shut in his hand). “Remy,” The stranger has an accent that sounded to be somewhat partially American. “You have a visitor?”

The cat-like man sighs. “It would appear I have quite a few,” he unplugs the other earphone and tosses them on the table “What do you want, Roman? I told you at this point this curse isn’t that bad, plus Emile finds it harder to shout at me when I’m knee-high to a grasshopper and fluffy,”

That would be some sound logic, Logan thinks to himself, ...if he were not talking about turning into a cat. “That’s fine, there is clearly someone much more interesting to talk to,” The elegant man holds out a hand and wears a grin that is almost a little too revealing. 29 years of not being flirted with and today it happens twice one straight after another.

“As if your two boyfriends weren’t enough Roman, you hop on the poor fresh meat like he’s dessert,” Deceit cuts in, a displeased look on his face as he folds his arms across his chest.

“He certainly looks like dessert,” Roman retorts. Logan thinks blushing is going to become a hobby whilst he’s here and looks over at Remy for help.

“Dee, don’t you have a radio show to host? Roman, don’t you have a demon to maintain? Logan I have no idea what you’re here to do but I’m sure it’s more than being the ruler in a dick-measuring contest between two insufferable assholes.” There’s a beat. Roman has the audacity to blush as if he hadn’t been saying some fairly explicit things by Logan’s standards, but a moment ago.

“Oh well, I’m here too...”

“Logan, dear, you’re cute, but I spent an entire night as a cat, and my better half, who is, by the way, all of my patience and will to listen to other people, is at work, right now I’m as bitchy as I can get, please don’t try and explain to me science unless it’s the science of how to make a coffee so strong my heart will stop...” Remy’s glasses slide down his nose, revealing two bright gold cats eyes, and they narrow as they stare at Logan. “All of you, out.”

“I’ll bring you a coffee, Rem,” Roman mutters as he starts towards the door.

“Thanks, Roman.” He doesn’t sound very thankful at all.

Roman offers to show Logan around town, he asks about the device in the scientist’s hand but anything he says is completely lost on the bejewelled man. Who is, by the way, wearing a lot of jewellery. His hands are covered in rings that have thin chains hanging from them, connecting to bracelets or each other. His nose, lip and eyebrows are pierced twice and the entire left side of his ear has small chains hanging off of them.

He looks like a prince.

“This is the coffee shop, my boyfriends both work here, and they live upstairs too, fair warning, one of them is a demon,” Logan nods a little numbly, unsure what else he was expecting really. Does anything normal happen in this town at all?

They walk in to see a scrawny and sickly pale man behind the counter, to the point where Logan would worry about anaemia until he saw the veins that were completely onyx running underneath the skin. The demon, then. “Welcome to Hell’s Pat-isserie, what may I get you?” His voice sounds bored, but then he looks up and sees Roman and his face lights up.

“Just a latte please,” Logan smiles nervously.

“That will be the cost of your soul please,” The demon’s voice darkens and shakes like lightning, Logan has to admit he felt a slight spike of fear before both the pale man and Roman start laughing.

“Virgil I keep telling you to stop doing that!” Logan looks up at the sound of a new voice, only to inhale sharply by what he’s greeted with. A man, with soft, freckled cheeks and a round face that has so clearly smiled so much, bounces up with stray blonde curls falling around his face. He bats a tea towel at the demon (Virgil, Logan assumes), before fixing Logan with a wide and blinding smile.

Blushing is indeed becoming a hobby.

“Roman, you’re late, help me with the coffee machine won’t you love? It’s jammed again the stupid bloody thing.” The man’s voice is as soft as his appearance dictates, and he hands the tea towel to Roman, who vaults over the counter to help. Then his attention focuses on Logan and he’s not entirely sure his heart can handle those pale blue eyes. “Sorry about these two, they’re a handful, just a latte was it? That’ll be $3.50,” Logan hands over the money with a dazed expression. As he’s handed his change, he can’t resist asking.

“What’s your name?”

“Patton, you?”

“Logan.” Patton smiles again, and Logan can’t help but liken it to the first flowers blooming in spring, and other cheesy metaphors that people come up with when they think about love at first sight.

“Well, Logan, take a seat, and we’ll bring your coffee over shortly,” A pause “...and thanks for keeping Roman out of trouble, it’s practically his day job,”

The scientist can’t help but absently think he’d hold back an inconclusive amount of danger to see Patton smile again. Then he reminds himself that he has a job to do; even if the rate of his own heart around these men is the strangest thing that has happened to him since he arrived in Hell. He can't afford diversions.

#ts sides #ts sides fic #CALMD #dlamp #CALMD/DLAMP

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thesextheorist · 3 years

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External Male Genitalia

(Warning: One very shit side diagram of the male genitalia, and one computer generated image showing the difference between a circumcised and uncircumcised penis).

Hello my lovelies,

Sorry for such a long wait, I’ve been struggling with my mental health and motivation in general. However, I’ve had a mini holiday and I feel re-energised. I’m going to set myself a goal of posting a new ‘lesson’, if you will, on this blog every Friday. I just want to say another big thank you to all those who are supporting this blog and are wanting to learn more about your fun parts.

My first two posts were centred around the female genitalia (of which I am very familiar seeing as though I have one). We are now going to give some love to the guys and talk about male genitalia – I have done as much research as I can. Unfortunately with male genitalia it seems to be a case of…what you see is really all you get, externally anyway. I will do my best, but if something does seem off just let me know (remember this is a learning journey for all of us – myself included). Ok without further ado…

Mons Pubis – The area of fatty tissue that covers the pelvic bone, however it is not as prominent on males as it is females.

Onto the actual penis, which is split up into three main sections:

The root – this is internally attached to the wall of your abdomen, and connects the penis to the pelvic bones via ligaments to offer support. Colour coded Green (I’ve included some on the actual penis to help give the idea of how it supports the penis).

The shaft/the body – This is the tube like part of the penis. This is the area that swells with blood due to the three internal chambers which contain spongy erectile tissue (corpus spongiosum) which themselves are filled with thousands of gaps which fill with blood as the male becomes aroused. When the penis becomes erect, it lengthens and thickens, shifting positions as it lifts towards the abdomen – where the rather cringy term ‘standing to attention’ is aptly applied. Colour coded Orange.

The glans – this is the ‘blub’ or head at the very end of the penis, which can be covered with foreskin. There is the urethral opening at the end of the penis where both urine and semen are expelled from the body. Yes men only have ‘one hole’ and both urine and semen are expelled from the urethra. However, internal reproductive organs block off the ability to expel urine from the urethra when the penis is erect. The glans is also filled with thousands of nerve endings (4000 to be exact), meaning if you want a reaction – give it some special attention, don’t neglect the other areas, but this is the external pleasure centre. Colour coded Red.

Foreskin – This is a sheath of skin that is attached to the head/glans of the penis when males are born. It helps to keep the glans lubricated, mainly in older males. It is fully attached to the glans in these early days, meaning it can’t be pulled back. It starts to separate around age 2 but it can start partially detaching later in life. No matter what age you are, please for the love of God do not try to pull your foreskin back further than it will naturally go – you will hurt yourself. If you have foreskin it is important to gently pull it back and wash under it, if not a cheesy like substance delightfully known as ‘smegma’ can build up and potentially lead to infections. The foreskin can also be removed at a young age for religious beliefs. The removal of the foreskin is known as circumcision. There are also different forms of circumcision for different religions, but I am not qualified to talk about them. If anyone belonging to a religion that practices circumcision and the belief behind it would like to share their story please feel free (I will anonymise you of course and please do not post your experience unless you are 18+). Colour coded Red. There is an image below which shows the difference between a circumcised penis and a non-circumcised penis.

Scrotum - The scrotum is the sac located behind the penis; it is literally a sack of skin to hold the testicles. There is a left and right testicle, and like female breasts they are rarely symmetrical – if there is one thing to learn about nature is that she hates symmetry with a passion. In fact, one side of the human body is bigger than the other. Anyway back to balls. The purpose of the scrotum is to hold the testes which produce sperm and hold them until ejaculation (the physical effect of an orgasm). Hormones, such as testosterone (clues in the name) are produced here. Testosterone is the main sex hormone found in males, it plays a key role in the maturing of the male during puberty – focusing mainly on the sex organs, secondly on bone mass, muscle and body hair. In some cases a male may be born with one testicle. This is normal, but I would always advise that you check with your doctors if you are worried about something (I’ll share a story about my asymmetrical tits and the doctors at the end to make you guys and gals feel better). Others may lose a testicle to a medical issue – remember all bodies are different and there is beauty in our imperfections. Colour coded Blue.

Perineum – Which is also eloquently referred to as the ‘Gooch’, which is located behind the balls and before the anus – it’s in-between the two. Much like on the female, the perineum can vary in size, between 1 – 2+ inches. It can also be stimulated during sex, again, just be careful. (see my second post on female genitalia for reference).

Right story time:

So I’m telling you all this to help with my own body confidence and to help anyone who may be going through the same thing either with their tits or balls, or anyone who may be struggling with body image in general. So during puberty my tits started growing in fairly even, until my left decided to be a bitch and outgrow the other. And this isn’t a ‘little’ difference – it is incredibly noticeable, and I have to wear special shaping and compacting bras to help with my shape and make it less noticeable. Now a lot of things can affect this, diet, hormones and genetics being some. I went to the doctors for two reasons, one to check that there were not any underlying health problems such as breast cancer. Thankfully that was a negative, but I still make sure to regularly check my breasts in the bath to be sure (I’ll include a post on this too). Two, to see if anything could be done to even them out, but the NHS said no as it wasn’t a real medical concern (which to be fair, it isn’t a medical concern if there is nothing causing it other than nature hating symmetry). I’m now in my 20s and still suffer with this problem. I’ll be honest with you, I’m self-conscious every day, I’m scared of getting naked and having someone laugh at me. However, at the end of the day, if someone laughs at your body doing something that it can’t control, then they’re a piece of shit who doesn’t deserve your time and you should wait for bigger and better things. No one is lesser because of their body, no matter what it looks like. Coming to terms with your body does take time, it is still taking me time, but talking to your loved ones (or complete strangers on the internet if you’re like me) is the first stepping stone to acceptance.

Alright, that’s a wrap on my external genitalia series! Over the next few weeks I’ll be covering erogenous zones, internal pleasure centres, masturbation, consent and safe sex (not necessarily in that order)! I will cover the reproductive systems at some point, but I will let you know that it is not my main concern as most education systems around the world teach sex ed with the purpose of reproduction. To say sorry for being so late with this post, I will let you guys choose what I next post about, just reply to this post and I’ll tally it up. Your choices are:

1 – Erogenous Zones

2 – Internal Pleasure centres

The runner up will be posted a week after the winner. I’ll stop counting the results on Sunday, 11th July at 9 pm (UK time/GMT +1).

The next post will also be a lot better than this one as I get back into the swing of it. I hope anyway.

Take care and stay sex positive my lovelies!

- Love, TheSexTheorist xxx

#Sex education #sex ed for grownups #Sex Positive #sex positivity #thesextheorist #male genitalia

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lost-in-the-spectrum · 3 years

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What is the Asperger-Syndrome?

Friends of the sun shine…

This is gonna be my very first tumblr post in English about a very personal and important topic I’d like to write about. You see the title and think ‘I heard of that, I know what it is’? Then f*ck you because you don’t.

First of all: My name is Helli, I am 25 years old and I’ve got the Asperger-Syndrome, now a days also known as Autism-Spectrum-Disorder. I’ve been suffering of bullying, misunderstanding, being let down and being unheard, being treated differently and badly just because I’ve behaved specifically during the spectrum and its issues. I was an introvert, a daydreamer, a comic- and video game geek... especially the last point might be an information where you go like ‘huh, that is actually cool’ but well... years ago it wasn’t. I was a nerd for others and nerds were meant to be uncool and unpopulare for a quite long time. Unfair? Yes, it is. But do you think anyone did care those days? No.

Anyways, before I start to tell you something about this syndrome – and before I do the same mistake as I did 5 years ago making a video for my German YouTube channel to talk about it – I’d like to mention that all I tell you in this post is only ABOUT ME. Every autistic person is DIFFERENT and not everyone got the same issues or strengths as me. So please before you drop every autistic person in one box which I accidently did in the video I mentioned before, please remember: THIS IS JUST ABOUT ME. Yet I will drop some general informations about that syndrome as well. And maybe you recognize yourselves or other people and friends, maybe you’re autistic yourself then let me know in every possible way you want.

What is the Asperger-Syndrom (medical)?

It is a profound developmental disorder with issues in social communicating, correct interpretation of facial expressions and gesturing. People with the Asperger-Syndrome are most of the time hardly interested in any topic but create a special huge interest in certain topics. Most of them are, like with me, video games and comics, computer and technology in general, sometimes even different kinds of science or arts. In some individual cases people with this syndrome are incredibly good at mathematics or speaking (linguistically gifted) but at the same time these people are not able to do other simple things. Me as an example: Never mind how much I practised, how good the teacher was, I always wrote bad exams in mathematics even tho I understood what I did in the homeworks before and even in some very simple exercises I do the one or other mistake. BUT even tho I’ve hardly read a book in my life because – I am not gonna lie – books (novels) are uninteresting for me I am very good at speaking, writing, formulating, describing things (...) I am pretty good at articulating myself. So I eventually belong to these people who are linguistically gifted. I can only tell that my dad – a former German teacher – is even kinda impressed about my way of speaking because I – as I have already told – hardly hold a book in my hands. I only remember three novels I’ve read in my whole life and those books where lucky to be interesting enough for me.

Anyways... those are the main signs and behaviors of people with this syndrome. Of course the Asperger-Syndrome is not the only disorder. The spectrum is pretty huge and includes many other Autism-Disorders. Not only other names but also syndromes with the same name but with some little deviations in behavior and ‘gifts’. So while I have not such a huge problem with maybe speaking with people and explaining them how I feel and see the world (as long as they give me the chance to do so) other people with the same syndrome might have big issues in formulating and ordering their feelings, describing them etc. While I really want to become an educater and work with children and teenagers to help them on the right way – I even want to work in special institutions for people with depressions and other conditions – other people with the Asperger-Syndrome completely avoid people and social contact or at least prefer jobs where they can be for their own.

These are only some examples for the issues or strengths people with this syndrome have to deal with. Other examples – where I can relate – are these...

Being not interested in other children as a child and prefering to play on their own.

Misunderstanding things and informations which are said because these people sometimes have an own way to say and describe these things.

Being unable to use the correct facial expressions to a certain feeling as well as misunderstanding them on other people. – almost the same issue which they have with told things.

Unable to be flexible and spontanious, prefering to know appointments and meetings at least one day earlier, even tho it is spending time on the beach with friends.

Mostly having a strict day structure and plan and having issues to change them.

Sometimes not interested in other people but in objects. I for example am more imperessed of a note book having a nice cover than of a handsome man.

Most of the time for their own and focused on their own life, problems etc. Which you can mix up very easily with ‘just being day dreaming’ Which seems egoistic to other people.

Sometimes not even able to show emotions or at least they have a limited number of emotions on stock.

They often do things everytime on the one and same way – Much alike this day structure thing – and while other people get bored very quickly by that people with this syndrom actually love it to know what’s coming next and that it is everyday the same. (This is because these people really want to have the ultimate control on everything they do.)

Now we come to the points which some autistic people can relate but indeed not everyone of them:

Having a bad ‘inter navigation’ which means that they’re pretty bad at reading maps, finding a simple way even tho there are signs and shields telling them where to go and even tho someone once walked the way together with them. (I am one of them. Other Autists are pretty good at navigation and geography.)

Reminding information or images by first sight (photographic mind, like the boy who flew over a city with a helicopter and drew the whole city down only by viewing it once.)

Being able to solve a mathematic exercise in their head within 30 seconds or less.

Having a higher IQ from 113 up to 200, also known as ‘extremly gifted’ (unfortunately not everyone... I’ve met some people...)

Being very tidy, ordered and hygenic. (also not everyone. For example me: I am captain Chaos.)

Being very sensitive if it’s about smell, flavor, feeling, light, noises etc. (I’ve got only some noises which freak me out and sometimes I can’t deal with the sun light because it is just way to bright for me. That’s why some autistic people always use noise-cancelling headphones or sunglasses.)

Having issues with being in a relationship including love and sex life. (Not me: I have got a boyfriend without Autism and we come along pretty well actually. We do also fight like ‘normal’ people. There is hardly a difference. Yet there are some other kinds of people.)

There are also autistic people who behave much more extreme than the examples I’ve written down. Some of them still ‘belong’ to the Asperger-Spectrum, others already drift into the ‘Kanner-Spectrum’ which is known as the ‘Autism’ which comes up to our minds when we hear about it. It’s the ultimate image most of the people still have when they hear about ‘Autism’: Swinging around on the chair or floor and not noticing anyone speaking to them: caught in their ‘own world’. Behaving uneasy, having no respect or not accepting distance. Some of them even’d like to touch your ‘private zone’ because they think it is interesting but don’t understand that it is not okay – or even sexual harassment – to do so. Hurting themselves by hitting their head against the wall – for example – if they’re told to do what they don’t want to. In general known as easily provocating people, aggressive and having no control over their own actions.

This is a completely other topic tho. So if you’d like to have a list with examples and definitions of different Autism-Spectrums, just let me know!

Now: What is the Asperger-Syndrome for me?

Even tho some ‘

social justice warriors

’ or other autistic people will hate me for that I tell you what it is for me: A disorder and a disability and also an other view of life.

Are disorders and disabilities bad for me? Is it bad and wrong to call Autism like that? No. Why? Because people are used to use these words as offenses or general in a negative point? Sry, that’s not my problem. If these people seriously yell at me calling my own Autism as disorder and disability, because they find it bad and discrimanting - because their definition of it is negative - then those people are discriminating – not me - because they think disabled people with a disorder are negative in some way and that’s why it’s wrong to call them like that. This is discriminating and hurting by these people and they do anything with this attitude except something good.

Autism is a disorder. Autism is a disability. This is a fact and this doesn’t make us to worse or less valuable people than others. If you really automatically think my disability makes myself less valuable to others it means to me that you think it is something negative too and this is discriminating! Never mind how you try to turn it.

So why is it a disability and disorder besides the medical fact that it is? 1st I am disabled in social communication. Never mind how good I probably am in articulating myself and formulating things, I still don’t now how to start a conversation, how to get to know someone, not even how to meet people. In fact I am even nervous about meeting new people, being in a room with strange new people with whom I am supposed to work closer in future is a bit hard for me. I am incredibly insecure, especially because of my bullying experience.

I hate having small-talk or being unnecessary ‘polite’ ... like not saying the total truth about something and lie a little bit instead to make people not feel uncomfortable which is wrong in my opinion. But that’s how society works. And while people without Autism know how ‘the cookie crumbles’ and they have no issues with behaving like this I feel uneasy about it and as honest I am with my words and thoughts, so am I with my feelings which means that I can’t hide it when I’m feeling uneasy. Society feels uneasy about me feeling uneasy because these ‘simple’ society actions. You see where this goes.

2nd I have issues with reading faces and recognizing voices. That means I can’t always tell if a person is angry, annoyed, okay or happy and I can’t tell by the person’s voice if he or she is angry, stressed, annoyed, sad, anything like this which is usually also a special key to some kind of social communication. All I can do is ask if he or she is okay or what’s the matter but I have met many people in my life and some of them think that it should be so obvious how they feel that I must be a silly cunt to not notice it. Or maybe worse: they think I don’t care and I pretend to care to make people think that I am a good person but in fact I am ignorant. Yes, that’s what some people once thought of me.

3rd I am disabled to have a normal everyday life in – for example - summer time when it is hot outside. It’s not like just being done because it’s so warm and I am sweating, no. People who know me well have seen me during hot summer times and I am absolutely useless. I am like totally done, almost dead if you really want to know. In case that I go outside because the temperatures are not too hot and I am able to move in the sun (and because I need food, you know, don’t wanna starve) there is an other problem: the sun light. I go out, the sun and its light burns down on me and suddenly I hardly see a thing, everything I watch shines in a horrible bright light and literally blends me. I need to wear sunglasses for that, sometimes even in the late afternoon when the sun light isn’t that bright anymore. Even then, because my Autism is also a kind of ‘high sensibility’ if it’s about sun light or certain kind of noises and sounds. In addition I am not always able to handle stress and busy situations. Stress knocks me out sometimes and it’s not like just being stressed, no. Sometimes I start crying. I’m having an overload, a so-called meltdown (which is also something I’d like to write about in an other post) which means I am crying for hours and having a mental and emotional break down. All the emotions I actually felt for a quite long time and which I’ve held back because I know that in these situations these emotions would make them worse... all these emotions, sometimes including emotions I think I didn’t even know that they exist, are coming out. It’s like me being a huge frozen mointain, completely made of ice, the emotions which come out because of the stress are getting hot and making my frozen shell melt and break down... I am literally a frozen vulcano who explodes with all its emotions. Now tell me: do you think I could work in a stressy job for eight or more hours a day without having these break downs?

To the question why it is a disorder: No person has got the right to decide what’s normal and what’s not. But comparing my issues and my behavior in certain situations because of my condition to the behavior of other people without this condition, it is definitely a disorder. When it comes to the situations I am disable to handle ... it is like me being a television which loses its signal right within a good television show. I have literally no signal in these moments. I am having a disruption. Do you say your television is not having a disruption then? ‘It is not having a disruption, it is just special.’ God damn, that sounds kinda discrimanting, doesn’t it?

I am disabled. I’m having a disorder. But that doesn’t make me to a bad person and less valuable than anyone else. You know, I can learn, how to communicate. I can learn, what to do in stressy situations. I can learn to read expressions, learn and study different expressions or the sound of voices in different emotions. I can learn this all.

Disability is a medical fact for me. It describes or is a ‘name’ for the issues we have. I will always be disabled like – even tho this is an extreme example, don’t blame me for that, please – a person who’s sitting in the wheel chair because he or she lost his or her leg in an accident, in a war, anything like that. BUT as this person can learn to walk with a prothesis so they won’t be stopped at all, so I can and will learn to communicate and manage my life and find my place in this world. I will always be disabled but I’ll never be impaired. I don’t wanna be changed or even pitied, I want to be accepted and luckily there are people who accept and also love me the exact way I am.

I really want to mention again: please, don’t blame or hate me for comparing me with a person who lost a leg and has to sit in the wheel chair... I know this life is worse and it is horrible and not really comparable with my disorder. But I just want to make a point.

Autism is an other way of to be and even tho there are so many different autistic people everyone of ‘us’ is different and when you know one autistic person then you know exactly one. Only one. Meet more of us and you’ll know who we really are.

I hope you took the time to read it all and that I could explain at least a little to you what the Asperger-Syndrome is. There are some informations in the internet and in some books, medical facts and experiences as well as personal ones, blogs like this or even youtube channels. Feel free to check them all out but please educate yourself correctly and stop putting us all in a box.

Thanks for reading. Good bye!

#autism #autism spectrum condition #autism spectrum disorder #autism spectrum #asperger #aspergers #asperger syndrome #lost in the spectrum #enlightenment #education

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rpschtuff · 4 years

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Carrd.co

Hello roleplayers!! Are you looking for an easy, good-looking, and accessible place to host your blog info on outside of Tumblr? Is Google Docs just not cutting it for you? Then I have a solution for you. Consider checking out Carrd.co.

Carrd lets you create “simple, free, fully responsive one-page sites for pretty much anything.” And I know what you’re thinking -- ‘One page? Surely I can’t put all my info on just one page!’ But I assure you, you can. Despite being technically one page, your content can be easily spread across multiple sections for clear organization, much like a blog with pop-ups or tabs here on Tumblr.

Check out this sample site I whipped up to see what I mean.

In this post, I will walk through how I made this sample Carrd site, to demonstrate how simple and customizable it is. But first, to answer what you’re already wondering -- what makes Carrd any better than Google Docs? And I have three answers for you:

There is no issue of privacy or security. Your account name and email is not accessible anywhere on your Carrd site, nor are any viewers visible.

Carrd is much more mobile friendly than Google Docs. I don’t even attempt to open Docs on my phone anymore, as they’re a bit of a nightmare and I can never do it anonymously. But I’ve never once struggled with a Carrd site. Everything is automatically put into a mobile friendly format, and if the automatic settings do mess up, you have the ability to go in and manually change how things will be displayed on mobile.

This may be a bit more personal opinion, but I found Carrd easier to customize as far as colors, images, backgrounds, etc. After about ten minutes, I was comfortably manipulating all of the elements on my site, and much happier with the end result than anything I’ve seen on Docs.

Join me under the cut for a walkthrough of creating the site linked above.

As a note, I’m not intending this to be a full guide to all of Carrd’s features, just a general overview to see how things are laid out. It’s fairly intuitive so once you see the basics, you should be able to play around with it more and get your site just the way you want it.

When you create a Carrd account, you will be given this screen. (If you’re on the main dashboard instead, click New Site.)

You can either explore premade templates below, or you can start from scratch by clicking the link in “blank canvas”. I prefer a blank slate myself, but I encourage you to check out the templates if they seem easier for you.

After clicking “blank canvas” you will arrive at this screen.

These are just Carrd’s instructions. I’ll hit ‘Okay, got it!’ to get rid of it.

The first thing I want to do is customize the background. It’s a good starting point. To do that, click on the three lines in the top right corner...

...and select Background.

Options will open on the left side of the screen, as seen here. Your customization options are fairly straightforward.

You can change the color...

Or change it to something else entirely. I’m going to use an image.

After uploading your image, you have the option to recrop it.

Now I hit accept, and this will be my site’s background.

There are other options as well, that can reposition the image, change its size, tile it, etc.

I can also add a gradient or a pattern to this image. I’m going to scroll down to Overlay and select Gradient.

And change those colors and the angle a bit.

Ahh, lovely. I’ll also add a pattern...

But that looks rather ugly. I think I’ll play with the color, size, and thickness a bit more.

I like that. Nice and subtle. Let’s call the background done.

Now let’s customize the page itself. This isn’t necessary, if you like the text directly on top of your background, but I like how neat it looks.

Go back to the three lines, and this time select Page.

Under Style, I’m going to change Default to Box.

You can change the position, padding, and other settings of the box in this sidebar. Personally, I want to round the corners...

...change the color...

...and change the opacity.

I’d also like to add a border...

...plus a customized drop shadow.

And we’ll call that done.

Now! Let’s see what this site looks like on mobile. In the top right menu, to the left of the save icon, is an icon that looks like a phone. Click that.

As you can see, your view resized to demonstrate how your site will appear to a mobile user. It’s a very good reference. I’m going to switch back to desktop now (the same button, which now looks like a computer monitor).

Let’s get some content on this site now! I’m going to start with the text that’s already present, that says ‘Nothing here yet! :)’. Click on that.

Options for this text will appear. First, I’m going to click the word Text itself. This will cycle through various options, such as default text, headings, subheadings, etc. I want this to be my site title, so I settle on that. (This step isn’t necessary at all, but I find it helps keep me a bit more organized.)

Now, for the content itself. The box is where I enter what I want this text to say. Markdown instructions for bold, italics, links, etc. are always below the box for easy reference.

I want to change how this text looks. Above Site Title, you’ll see an icon that looks like a paintbrush. Click it to reveal the next tab.

Here you can change color, font, size, weight, and anything else that strikes your fancy. There are a lot of options here and they’re pretty straightforward, so play around with it. Here’s what I settled on.

Remember you can check it on mobile, as well.

Time to add more text. Let’s start with a bio, maybe?

Hit the plus sign in the upper right menu to add new content, then select text.

By default, new text will match the formatting of the most recent text used. I’m going to the first tab, the one marked A, and making this text Paragraph.

Then I go back to the paintbrush tab to make some changes to the style.

Then back to the first tab to add some content. I’m just dropping in some lorem ipsum, since this is only a sample. Obviously you’d want something a bit more practical here.

Let’s say I want a link in there. I’ll follow the markdown format to get one (instructions are below the box, as always).

Now it’s in there, as the third sentence. You can see it underlined. But I want to customize that link. If I go back to the paintbrush tab, options for Link and Hover have appeared. I can change the color there.

And if I scroll all the way down, I can change the link style from Underlined to Plain.

That looks nice. I’ll call that done.

Let’s add a subheading to that section. I’ll add another text box.

Then click and drag it above the previous one.

On the first tab, I’m going to change this one to Main Heading.

Then customize it as before.

Now for the actual text itself.

Lovely.

Let’s add some rules! I want to add a new title, so for that, I’m going to select the text that says About. Then in the bottom left is a button that looks like two overlapping squares. This will copy the text, so we don’t need to reformat it identically.

Click and drag the new title where you want it, and change the text to what you want.

I’m going to add a list now. It’s one of. the other options under the plus sign.

As you can see, some bullet points have appeared. Markdown instructions are still under the box where you enter the content. I’m going to fill it with lorem ipsum again.

Under the paintbrush tab, you’ll see that there are multiple tabs. The first lets you change some style and formatting.

The second lets you change the bullets themselves. I’m going to play with that a bit.

The third lets you change the actual text formatting. (I don’t know why my purple bullet points disappeared, I must have hit an undo at some point without noticing. Pretend they’re still purple.)

And I’ll call that done.

Mobile check!

Not bad.

But the question of the hour, how do you make these separate pages? Let me show you. Under the plus sign, choose Control.

A blue dotted line will appear. Drag this to the top of what you would like to be a new section.

On the left tab, the type should read Section Break. Type in something simple and easy to remember under Name.

This has designated everything under the Control as a new section. We need to create a link to it in the very first section.

I prefer to use Buttons for this, but any link option on this site should work. I’m going to add a Button under the Sample Site title.

By clicking the small word Button (inside the box on the left tab), I can change its settings.

The Label is what the button will actually say. The URL is where the button will take me. I can enter any URL, but if I enter the name of the Control I made with a # in front of it, it will take me to that section.

There are options to. change colors of each button individually, but I prefer to go to the paintbrush tab and change their appearance altogether, so each new button in this group will look the same.

Unfortunately, you can’t properly preview the section breaks while you’re editing. So I’m going to publish this site now so I can view it. Go to the three lines in the top right and choose Publish. Fill out all the options there, then hit Publish. (You can also save as a draft here, if you want to keep your progress but aren’t ready to publish yet, but this doesn’t let you preview it properly.)

Now, if I hit view site, I will be able to see it properly. And as you can tell...

It only displays everything up until that first section break. And when I click the About button that I made...

...everything else appears.

So it’s working! Let’s go back to the editor and add another section break for the rules.

(As a note, you can also set something as a Scroll Point rather than a Section Break, so that any links will scroll down to that spot as opposed to hiding then revealing a new section. You may prefer that option, it’s in the dropdown under Type.)

Now I want to go back to my button...

...scroll down on the left options tab and choose Add.

This creates a second button within this group, that I can edit the same as the first.

Lovely. Let’s preview this in mobile quickly.

Notice how the buttons automatically resized for full width on mobile, and are displaying differently than they appeared on desktop? This is by default, but you can change this behavior if you wish. Select the buttons, and on the paintbrush tab, scroll all the way down until you see Mobile.

By default, it’s set to Auto, where it makes its best guess at what will work for mobile. If you switch to Manual, you can change its behavior.

If I change the dropdown under Layout from Stack to Default, it will display as it does on desktop.

For something as simple as buttons, this likely doesn’t matter, and full width buttons may actually be more mobile friendly. But it’s important to know where these options are, in case something is actually broken on mobile and requires fixing. Check everything on your site in mobile to make sure it actually works.

Let’s publish this again to preview it now.

Our new button looks good, and both redirect you to the appropriate place.

But wait!! Once you’re in one section... there’s no button to get back!! I’m trapped!! This is very important. Always provide a way to leave the current section, so your viewer doesn’t get stuck somewhere on your site.

The easiest way to do this is to add a new Control on your first section, called #home. Then, at the bottom of each section, add a button that will link back to it. (You could also add buttons for all the sections at the bottom of each, but I find that more tedious to set up. But it’s entirely down to your preference.)

Now if you republish the site, it should all be functional, and you can navigate it with ease.

Let’s check the actual site on mobile, too. I’m going to actually get out my phone and go to the URL.

It all looks good there, so I will call this one done.

And that’s a rough guide to using Carrd.co! Obviously this is geared more towards my style and preferences, but there are so many ways to customize this to suit your needs and tastes. I also didn’t cover things like images and videos, as I feel they’re pretty straightforward.

A few notes:

Carrd currently limits free users to only three sites per account. However, Gmail’s alias trick and SessionBox totally work. I run multiple Carrd accounts as easily as I run multiple Tumblrs.

A free Carrd site can only have up to 100 items on it. For my sites, I haven’t even come close to that limit, but I can see larger blogs or multimuses potentially struggling with that.

#rpc #rph #rpt #carrd.co #*my tutorials

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