Katja Kemnitz: Too Much Love (2016)

to be loved is to be changed

Haruki Murakami South of the Border, West of the Sun // Robert Bly In the Month of May // Ocean Vuong On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous // art: unknown quote: Fyodor Dostoeyevsky The Brothers Karamazov // @x2s (via @llovelymoonn) // Bianca Sparacino // Noah Kahan You're Gonna Go Far // Katja Kemnitz Too Much Love // Charlotte Eriksson Everything Changed When I Forgave Myself

happy birthday, Richard 💖

one thing that having fish and looking up fish advice online has showed me very tangibly is that if you love something but you know nothing about it and don’t learn you will hurt or kill it in trying to do something good for it. So many people over-feed their fish to death because their fish “look hungry”, or prevent their tank from cycling fully because they’re doing 100% water changes every week and end up with fish dying of ammonia or nitrite spikes, or love their pet fish but have no clue that it’s actually going to grow up to be a foot long and will need a much larger tank, etc etc etc. And obviously a good many of these are neglect or poor assumptions about fish as pets and most could be solved with looking shit up, but there are always some cases where the person in question loved the fish but was woefully misinformed, or panicked, or thought they were much more prepared than they were, or any number of things, and they’re devastated by the fact that they’ve hurt something they care deeply about. Often, though, I see these cited as either cases of “loving them too much” or “not loving them enough” or with a veil of “anyone who really loved this animal wouldn’t do this to it” and I think that’s… incomplete? Because the problem isn’t how someone feels or whether they care, the problem is how much work they put in to finding and filling the gaps in their knowledge. The problem isn’t loving something too much or not enough because the love isn’t relevant. Someone can NOT love their fish and take amazing care of them, and someone who loves their fish desperately can be a TERRIBLE fish keeper. I don’t know how generally applicable this is as a theory or even a metaphor but I do think the problem of knowledge vs emotion does extend further than fish.

Mine

If I couldn't have him, I'd eat him

"Stay away from the ones you love too much. Those are the ones who will kill you."

- Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

“Too Much Love” by Katja Kemnitz

Being loved, is being changed.

So newt allowed this and Toto then tried to regurgitate to him three times

Sir please wait until the third date at LEAST

I wish you knew what your company meant to me. I wish you knew how much I loved you when we were alone at night doing crazy things together. I wish you knew how much you meant to me and how difficult it is to forget those things cause now they have just become memories and no longer remain to be the reality.

-To my (once) best friend {unsent since 2019}

More Signs of Love

Draco’s hands hurt, too much to move them, too much to sign his words. He looked at Harry with an expression of pure misery, and resigned himself to having to use actual words to express his emotions. His throat ached at the mere thought.

He didn’t want to. Didn’t want to speak. What was the point of using words he couldn’t hear? Saying things that had no meaning? But there is was no other way for him to communicate his wants and needs to Harry. At least not at this moment in time.

Except there was. And Harry being Harry showed him. So, before Draco could use his words, or push past the pain of regrowing bones to force his hands to sign words, Harry did something that turned Draco’s world upside down and inside out.

Harry lowered the wards around his mind, dropped them all of them all at once, every single layer of protection. He silently and without so much as a warning bared his mind and soul to Draco, giving it to him for the taking, presenting it on a silver platter.

And because Draco was an extremely skilled Legilimens, he felt it, felt the protective walls crumble. Draco felt the tug, felt the almost irresistible desire to explore but he resolutely held back, refused to enter Harry’s mind, even though it was right there, open and vulnerable.

He shook his head, closed his eyes.

But Harry’s hands cupped his cheeks, caressed him with such love. Harry simply held his face in a tender embrace. Draco’s eyes opened of their own accord but he couldn’t stop blinking furiously to try and combat the urge to cry. It was all too much, too overwhelming.

He drew in a shaky breath and when Harry smiled encouragingly, Draco’s heart stuttered to a halt.

“It’s okay, my love, I want you to.”

Draco couldn’t tell whether Harry was only moving his lips, mouthing the words or whether there was sound involved, but he didn’t care, couldn’t focus.

Harry opened his mind a little further and when he leant in to press a soft and lingering kiss to Draco’s forehead, Draco felt himself slip. He entered Harry’s mind, drawn inside by the gentle invitation and the sweetness of Harry’s kiss, and closing his eyes, he focused.

Hello my love, there you are.

Harry’s voice rang in Draco’s head and a wretched sob tore itself from the very centre of Draco’s core. He could hear Harry, could hear the sound of his voice, the tenderness with which he spoke, the deep warmth and care he infused his words with, the love and kindness, the goodness of it all.

Draco cried and his body shook with it, the sensations, the experience of sharing a mental link with Harry, of actually hearing his voice for the first time ever, it was too much. Half of Draco wanted to pull away, to cut the connection and reinforce his own walls, but he couldn’t, didn’t have the strength to leave this newly-found haven.

Talk to me, talk to me, talk to me, he thought, knowing that he sounded desperate. I beg you talk to me. Never stop. Talk to me. Draco wept as he spoke.

Harry’s warm and amused laughter thrummed through Draco’s veins, set him alive.

Let me tell you a story, my love.

Draco prayed to every deity in existence that Harry would tell him a never-ending story because there was no hope in hell he’d ever be able to get enough of hearing Harry’s voice, even if it wasn’t actually real.

The hardest thing about being ADHD (or neurodivergent) for me is probably the fact that when I love someone, I love so intensely. It feels as if my chest is full to the brim with this pink swirl of love and devotion for these people in my life. They become all I think about, which can happen with one person or a group. The hardest thing about loving so hard though, is that I know deep down that my favourite people probably don't love me as much. So in the end when I obsess over friends, all I end up feeling is longing and loneliness.

mexico - 04.10.22 - ig: lagatoferro

Me: omg Keigo is so cute

My brain: teen Touya woke up alone with a different body and face learning years had passed and all he thought about was going home to apologize. Instead what he saw ruined him and he let Touya stay dead to let Dabi change the world. But he never wanted that. All he wanted was to be a hero with his dad. And now that pain has spread to so many other people like Shoto and Keigo. But Touya still just wants his father to look at him. Dabi wants to prove Touya was worth it, that everyone in the League of Villains was worth it.

Me, crying now: Keigo!

"You want to hear the truth? Huh? Ok, I'll tell you.. but you can't get upset. Ok, ok.. it's hard loving you. I have a really hard time loving you.. there, I said it. It's just that I don't have anywhere to put all of this love that I have for you.. I need another heart, maybe two. There is too much love for my body.. so yeah, why do you think I'm always dropping kisses and hugs all over you? The love has to go somewhere!!"

It gets really hard loving you cause I love you almost too much for my heart to handle - eUë

sometimes i seriously wonder where to put all that love i have inside of me