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talkbycolor · 6 months

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I deserve this

A/N; at this point its obvious that i inspire in rebzyyx songs

Pairing; "Your Boyfriend" x AFAB!Reader (cus people are scared of the word trans)

CW; reader becomes willing at the end i swear / unhealthy, obsessive and possesive love / sensitive topics such as mental health, depression, anxiety, fear of abandonment, dissociation, suicidal thoughts / a crazy concept: he talks about his emotions!! / non-con, violence, like, i cry while i masturbate

It's quite blurry trying to remember how it all started, it seemed harmless to accept a date from a stranger, he gave you a beautiful rose and was quite kind to you.

Feeling that people could like you, that someone could be romantically interested in you, because of who you are, your personality, that they knew your… desires?

Because you had dreams, of course.

…

Your dream was to live, to live a quiet life, a stable, pleasant job, with good pay, a normal and peaceful life, where the deep emptiness in your heart was non-existent, years had passed and the monotonous feeling did not disappear, you had already accepted the pain, after all, if you felt that constantly it was probably because you did something wrong at some point, right?

But that was a personal dream that would never be shared.

And it's not like that matters now, not when you're in… A room, that's funny, your last memory is of Peter slamming you against the table to tie your limbs since their last date didn't end as expected and It was time to go home.

Return to an empty home, for what? Peter was more than willing to take care of you, why was he so scary? Accepting it would have made things easier, but you ruined everything by trying to run away, you even fought tooth and nail, that was too pathetic now that you remember it, maybe you DO deserve all the shit that is happening.

You could have saved yourself so much terror and attacks.

"PETER ENOUGH! PLEASE! LET ME GO! NO! NO! FUCK, PLEASE!" You tore out your throat with terrified screams and tried to claw at his skin until your fingers were bloody, biting the hands that tried to stop your screams, hitting his face with your elbows and kicking him away, crawling like a dying animal away from him. "PETER!" You sobbed sharply before losing consciousness.

But nothing worked, resisting only made all that shit worse and now you were tied up, in Your boyfriend's old clothes.

You barely remember how you got to that place, or if time passed, anyway that doesn't matter anymore, from one day to the next you find a very small piece of clothing that turned out to be yours, time passed, your body grew but your mind didn't, they keep lying but you know that your life will depend on how well you do it.

And you're not doing it right, you tried to adopt toxic happiness but you couldn't even maintain it for a while before exploding, sadness was already an everyday thing and you just weren't feeling it anymore.

"Dear?"

Just peace please, how hard could that be? It was annoying, you even felt angry for feeling so empty, because people were so rude and the constant rejection killed you socially.

It was hard to breathe, wasn't it?

"Love? Do you hear me?"

It feels like the end, your soul is bleeding, you wish your stupid job made you feel a little more alive and motivated to continue.

And now you have done so many things to escape from that monster that pulls you back to the room to devour you under the bed.

"Darling!" Your boyfriend's voice echoed through the room, making you look at him once and for all, your eyes tired despite having been unconscious most of the time.

"…" You wanted to respond, really, but what were you supposed to say?

"You must be exhausted, you didn't even touch dinner" It was a tricky phrase, he had tried to feed you since you were tied up.

"Peter-…"

"I already told you that I prefer to be called other way, honey" He responded with a smile and a definitely not irritated tone.

"I want to sleep" He left your lips, he was being so caring, taking care of your health.

He kidnapped you.

And you couldn't even thank him for it.

He knocked you out.

You really were an ungrateful shit, weren't you?

He locked you up.

You wanted to return the signs of affection.

Soon the ropes left your body, Peter helped you stand up and you both walked to the bedroom, he was still carrying a small plate with a light dinner, he refused to let you go to bed without having eaten dinner.

Once in bed, he made sure that you had a proper dinner, and he helped you change your clothes so that you would be comfortable in bed, he also did the same with his attire and now you were both lying down. It always made your stomach churn when he looked at your half-naked body.

"Dear" He murmured next to you while you tried to sleep as soon as possible, so many things had happened those last few days that the only way out was to sleep, you had probably already been fired from your job for not showing up. "Honey, love, darling," he said sweetly as his hand went up to your cheek, he simply looked at you with a huge and probably painful smile on his face, almost tattooed, you made him so happy with your mere presence.

"Can I kiss you?" He asked, your mind still cloudy enough to refuse anything, so you just went up to kiss him, the room was very dark and there weren't even crickets echoing at night, the amount of silence was overwhelming… of course, that didn't count the lip-smacking they shared.

So it continued.

For a long time.

"Pet-…uhm, I mean, honey, I'm tired and I want to sleep" You interrupted the honey session.

"Please, you don't have to do anything, just let me love you, darling" his voice was soft, soothing to that darkness but not to the painful weight in your heart and the knot in your stomach, his touches felt strange.

You know that's wrong, you don't like it.

You didn't stop him, just like he said, you let him love you as you closed your eyes and a buzzing sound echoed in your head, like television static, your bottom clothes had disappeared, but that didn't matter.

You couldn't hear anything, you didn't see anything, your body reacted but your mind was very far from that place, you wandered through your memories, fantasies of a life you were never going to have.

It was really digging into your cunt, huh? Even when your mind wanted to flee somewhere else, it was undeniable how he held your thighs and you gasped heavily with each thrust.

His member was still dripping his seed, did he use protection? You don't know, you don't care.

It doesn't matter.

B e cau se s oon y o u w il l b e d ea d.

"Honey? Didn't you enjoy it?" Peter asked with a worried frown.

What the hell is wrong with you? Do you no longer have respect for yourself? You know it's going to hurt you.

Don't you mind dying? You lost hope and you don't even try to help yourself anymore, damned and pathetic attempt at being human, really unnecessary.

"Honey…" Peter caressed your cheeks and brought his forehead to yours, sighing softly and carrying your body to the bathroom in the room.

You didn't say anything either, you just felt how it was cleaning your body, the water was warm, the bathtub full of bubbles, and it smelled pretty good, like coconut soap. Peter hummed quietly as he treated your body with the utmost affection, you were sure he was whispering things in your ear but you were barely aware of your surroundings.

When your eyes finally focused on something you could see the ceiling of the room thanks to the moonlight, Peter was behind you, hugging your body, caressing your hair, and sniffing the soapy fragrance.

"You are so sweet, so unique, so kind, so special to me, a truly exceptional person, I will do everything to make you feel comfortable, darling, I love you so much, my adorable-…"

"Peter"

"… Yes love?" This time he didn't argue about that name, you were finally talking and that was good.

"I'm sorry I feel so alone, I know you're here but…" You wish you could give him an answer but that was something even you hadn't figured out yet.

"It's okay, honey, I'll be with you to hold you, forever."

♡

#yandere x reader #your boyfriend #yandere visual novel #yandere #your boyfriend peter #yb x y/n #yb game #yb peter #your boyfriend x reader #smut #tw noncon #afab reader

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 3 months

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read more of the good omens book. i am in love with crowley. go away.

I'M DONE WITH THE SECTION WEDNESDAY AND GOD DEAR GOD AND SATAN AND EVERYONE IN BETWEEN I AM SO FUCKING IN LOVE WITH CROWLEY IT HURTS.

This is exactly why I was petrified of the bloody book. It's going to make the brainrot irredeemably deep. Entire bodyrot, in fact. Even Tommy (yes I named my haematoma Tommy, and he's trans, so he's a he/himatoma) will succumb to the rot.

THE LINE: "RIGHT," MUMBLED CROWLEY, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE. IT IS MY ROMAN EMPIRE. IT HURTS ME EVERY DAY SINCE I FIRST READ IT, WHICH WAS WHEN I GOT THE BOOK LIKE A MONTH AGO. I OPENED IT AT A RANDOM SECTION AND READ THAT AND PROMPTLY SHUT THE BOOK AND PROCEEDED TO CRY. THAT WAS THE MOMENT I BEGAN TO FEAR THE BOOK.

Aziraphale, you silly, silly, adorable little prissy motherfucker. What a bastard.

Sister Mary Loquacious making up her mind to have an orgasm gives a whole new subtext to my thirst for her during the rewatch of episode one.

RIGHT MUMBLED CROWLEY SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE.

OW.

DOG IS THE BEST THE CUTEST EVER. EVEN WHEN HE WAS BIG AND HELLHOUNDY. HIS CONFUSION AT TURNING SMALL BUT THEN IT BEING OVERRIDDEN BY HIS LOVE FOR ADAM. IT JUST. AWWWWW.

Anathema carries a foot-long bread knife with her. Queen shit.

THE FACT THAT THEY GOT SHOT BY PAINTBALLS AND IMMEDIATELY CROWLEY THINKS HE'S DEAD AND STARTS WORRYING ABOUT PAPERWORK. ALL THAT CLUES HIM IN IS THAT THE BLOOD IS YELLOW. AND THEN HE TASTES IT TO CHECK IF IT'S PAINT WTF CROWLEY.

Warlock's birthday party omg. Aziraphale looking at Crowley desperately for help and Crowley pointedly refusing to meet his gaze because he's cringing from second-hand embarrassment and staring out of the window. I read that bit when I got out of the X-ray for Tommy and it made me smile on a very shit day.

Right mumbled Crowley suddenly feeling very alone.

Okay but ngl Crowley was entirely right? He turned the paintball guns to real guns, but the humans continued to shoot each other even after they realised the switch. Not his fault.

Oh Lord, heal this bike. So it was from the book, too.

Aziraphale being like let's get the fuck outta here before the police come coz I'll morally have to assist them with enquiries is so babygirl of him for real. You little bastard, you.

"A CAR BELONGING TO TWO CONSENTING REPAIRMEN" ah yes "THOSE TWO GAY RANDOS IN THE BENTLEY ARE DEFINITELY HAVING SEX"

I love Aziraphale. Crowley makes a man faint from fear and Aziraphale isn't all that pissed because he's salty about the man ruining his expensive shirt. Oh, Aziraphale.

So attracted to War in an awful way. It makes so much sense how attractive in an awful way she is.

Pouring one out for Mr and Mrs Threlfall of 9, The Elms, Paignton.

"Right," mumbled Crowley, suddenly feeling very alone.

Slightly desperate italics is a phrase I didn't know I needed in my life but during my inevitable next war with fucking typefaces, I will definitely use. Fuck I had design work to do for my mum. AH WELL, CROWLEY, CROWLEY, CROWLEY.

In response to watch out for that pedestrian, Crowley says It's on the street, it knows the risks it's taking! Crowley supports it/its pronouns, pass it on.

Where do you live my dear? Aziraphale oozed. OOZED. OMG.

RIGHT, CROWLEY MUMBLED, SUDDENLY FEELING VERY ALONE.

Everyday, my-homoerotic-tension-and-love-hate-relationship-with-my-copy-of-this-book's a-getting stronger... WHY MUST THAT LINE HURT ME SO MUCH.

#good omens mascot #weirdly specific but ok #asmi #maggots #good omens #good omens fandom #crowley #aziraphale #neil gaiman #terry pratchett #lgbtqia #good omens book #good omens brainrot #the nice and accurate prophecies of agnes nutter

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satoruscursedbandages · 2 months

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⸝⸝ ꒰ Toji HeadCanons🎋ㆍ₊⊹

MENTIONS — FTM!Reader!, headcanons, SFW, mentions of body dysphoria.

╭┈ • ┈ ୨୧ ┈ • ┈╮

• He always knows how you're feeling, if you're feeling sad he'll drop everything he's doing just for you and give you his undivided attention, he doesn't say much but his actions say other wise! Next thing you know you're in bed with him cuddling up right onto him as he tells you how perfect you are n' how much he loves you n' how he'd kill anyone who made you feel this way. Toji would give ya' small little kisses on your face and continue to hold ya' close to him, he wants you to feel safe with him.

"Tell me who did it, I'll make sure they'll be fuckin' dealt with. You're too perfect to be feeling like this especially if some dumbass made my boy feel like this."

• Everyday after work he'd come back home to the shared apartment you both stayed at, he would catch you off guard wrapping his big muscular arms around your waist as he kissed you all over your pretty face. He'd kiss ya' all of your neck and collarbone too!

• He'd occasionally buy you things as appreciation, even if that means he'd have to work overtime. He doesn't mind taking on extra work and killing more sorcerers or whatever, he just wants to see you happy. Toji would hear you on the phone or listen to you talk n' buy those things you like, sometimes he may steal but.it's the thought that counts!!!

• Toji will remind you everyday how perfect you are, inside and out. Toji doesn't really talk much he just gets straight to the point, but when it comes to complimenting and talking about you he could drag on for a looooongggg time!

"You're so pretty baby. So so so handsome..how did I get so lucky to be with you hm? My baby boy is perfect. My beautiful pretty boy.." Toji would whisper in your ear in a deep tone as he kissed you all over holding you in his arms.

• when you feel insecure or have feelings body dysmorphia he will reassure you that you are always a man to him. No matter what he'll love you, especially on your bad days. He'll even be with you all day and cancel all of his plans just to make sure you feel better, he doesn't care that you're trans he just loves you for you! He'll even let you lay down or cuddle with him all day if that means so.

"Darlin’, what's wrong? You look sad." Toji asked in a slightly concerned tone all of his focus was on you, you then spoke in a shaky and slight voice. "I..I don't look like a man..I hate my body. I wish I was more taller, I didn't have this chest n' that others would view me as a man." You said trying not to break down, tears welled up in your eyes n' you began sniffling. Toji's gaze softened, he brought both of his large hands up to your face wiping away your tears with his thumbs, "you're a man to me, you're very handsome. I love you just the way you are, your body is perfectly fine you don't need to have a dick to be a man, you look like one to me. You are one, don't think other wise. You're perfectly fine the way you are Baby." He said kissing your forehead, he had a small smile on his face.

• Toji always wants to be around you! Shopping, eating, sleeping, showering, you name it n' he's pretty much everywhere with you. When you guys are shopping he's perfect for holding things! He's holding at least 20 bags per shopping trip but he doesn't mind..he's a big n' strong man anyways a couple of bags should bother him, he kills people for a living so wasn't a big deal! When you guys are showering together you two will help each other bathe n' wash yourselves, occasionall you both would give each other small little pecks on the neck, jaw, or cheek! He would try to also sneak in a kiss on your pretty lips too, he loves kissin' you!!:3

• When you're going through your monthly period, you're in pain obviously. The cramps are killing your n' your body aches, n' you begin cravin' things. Toji knows that you are on it because he keeps track of it so he won't make you as upset he did last time. He usually teases you but not when you're on that time of the month, you're more moody than usual. scary. When you're in pain he suggests you lay down n' rest, he'll massage you and he even bought you a heating pad for your stomach for when your cramps get too painful. Usually when this time comes you two are snuggled on the couch eating your favorite snacks n' are watchin' some shows the both of you like. Toji would most likely barely pay attention to the show n' mostly pay more attention to you tho ngl!!

"..hm? Toji, are you even paying attention to the movie?" You asked with a slightly pouty face, he gave you a soft chuckle as he then spoke up. "Mmh. Not really no." Toji playfully smiled before pulling you closer n' holding you more. He was always the physical touch type, especially when it came to you. You never really saw him touch anyone unless he beat the shit out of them or got paid for takin' on'a mission or something. It was nice to know he had a soft spot for you.

• Toji is USUALLY flat broke so y'know his broke ass won't really take you out but he usually takes you out to walks out to the park or makes sure to make you feel special whenever you both are out. He'd hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, hold you, etc. he doesn't care if you both are in public he loves you !

╰┈•┈୨୧┈•┈╯

#jjk x male reader #ftm!reader #male!reader #jjk #toji fushiguro #jujutsu toji #jjk x reader #jjk toji #x reader #jujutsu kaisen toji #headcanon #jjk headcanons #toji headcanons #jjk x ftm reader #ftm reader #Toji x ftm!reader #gay #jjk fluff #comfort

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havinghorns · 1 year

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It seems redundant to do something for Trans Day of Visibility when I'm very much a Visible Trans everyday of my life--but if you didn't know, I'm Eric, I'm 35, I'm a transman and I love to make work about and around my trans body.

I'm never really going to "pass" as much of anything (sometimes people think I'm transfemme or nb but literally no one ever assumes I am Cis) but that's ok! I like how I look and talk and dress, and being trans to begin with helps unlock the "fuck acting, dressing or talking in a certain way for others" part of your brain!

I work in LGBTQ healthcare and everyday I help trans people get the care, medication and support they need. It's hard, stressful work that I keep doing because of how much I care and how important it is to have another trans voice helping you in that fight right now.

Love ya all,

Eric

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lopsicle · 2 months

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Okay,like a couple minutes ago I learned that it is actually trans day of visibility today soo woohoo! Kind of hard to celebrate in this shithole called the UK though, so I’m going to hide on tumblr and talk about which characters I think are trans coded or just Headcanon as trans because it’s my day I can do that now heheheh-

Also, I’m just tryna do a little thing for trans visibility day, I like being opaque, I ain’t trying to start any arguments, if you see a Headcanon you disagree with, just scroll. And if you think I’m biased towards transfem characters, it’s because I am and I ain’t apologising for that, they’re underrated in terms of fandom and obvs I’m transfem so I love them and relate to them more. Transmasc characters still will be on this list though as there’s so many that I love.

Characters That I Think Are Transgender Because Fuck You

Number one: Hunter Noceda (The Owl House)

This was probably the easiest and hardest pick for the list, for a couple reasons. Number one, I don’t think there’s a single person who agreed this pathetic wet cat is cisgender. Whether you think he’s transmasc, transfem, something else entirely, he ain’t cis. It’s clear why the fandom clung to Hunter as the resident trans character, him having a secret identity via The Golden Guard (seriously, any character with a secret identity is immediately trans, I don’t make the rules), the overconfident attitude mixed with deep insecurity and his arc about finding a way to ‘like who he is right now’ in Thanks To Them really just sealed the deal. Other little details like how his hair cuts helped him find his new identity did not help his case.

While I personally think he’s transfem, and am just using he/him because that’s his canon pronouns, Hunter is one of those characters that a lot of people can identify with which is what The Owl House is really about so I kinda had to include him on this list. The reason it was a hard decision is because holy fuck, every single character in this show is trans. Deciding between him and Amity was the hardest choice of my life because transfem Amity is heavily underrated and I love her, but you really can’t compete with Hunter, he’s had an amazing influence on the fandom and the character has probably helped a lot of people come to terms with their identity.

To summarise, Hunter is a great character, I miss him everyday, I miss The Owl House everyday, he was cool as fuck and a lotta people identified with him.

Anne Boonchuy (Amphibia)

This is one that I feel is heavily underrated, and that’s coming from someone that took two years after the show ended to watch Amphibia. With Amphibia, pretty much all of the human characters are Headcanonned (is that a word?) as some part of the trans umbrella but Anne is the one who does not get enough attention, especially for a main character.

At least to me, Anne was very transfem-coded in the show, everything from her raggedy appearance, to her essentially assuming a new life in Amphibia to the arc about accepting who you are to THE SONG ABOUT ACCEPTING WHO YOU ARE-this was the most in your face, trans-coded rep I could ever ask for. But she is criminally underrated in terms of being viewed as trans rep even though I’ve found her story one of the most compelling in terms of trans coded storylines in nearly any piece of media I’ve ever seen. Give Anne more attention, she’s literally the best. Marcy and Sasha are cool too but Anne’s writing deserves so much more praise than it gets.

Dipper Pines (Gravity Falls)

If you haven’t realised it yet, this entire list so far is just one massive fuck you to Disney because fuck Disney. Dipper was the closest we got to having a canon trans main character in a mainstream animated show and it was taken from us, fuck Disney y’all. But still, Alex has all but confirmed Dipper’s identity as trans masculine, you can see remnants of that arc with him learning that he’s a man in his own right and masculinity being something he can define for himself, the whole thing about Dipper actually being a nickname, and him bonding with the men in his life, like Stan.

Even though I didn’t notice it when I was a kid watching the show, rewatching it now with the knowledge of Dipper’s identity makes the experience a bit more personal, I can see bits of myself in Dipper and I think that’s the whole point of his character. Watching it as a kid you can relate to him because of his sarcasm, his bluntness, his comedy but also because of how heroic, adventurous and curious he is, he’s basically the idealistic role of the viewer. But as you get older and think more critically about him, you can see more of his flaws and that makes him so much more real and so much more relatable. Obviously being trans isn’t a flaw, that was just me doing a side tangent because Dipper means the world to me and is only the standard of writing a cartoon protagonist in some ways, I just think he’s a really cool character and Disney robbed us.

Also Pacifica is transfem because TfT couples are hecking adorable

Sallie May (Helluva Boss)

Guess who just realised that (other than Dipper technically) I haven’t put a single canon trans character on this list. Headcanons are better, I don’t make the rules, but Sallie May is amazing. No matter how critical you are of Helluva Boss, one thing it unapologetically does well is queer representation. The amount of characters that the audience can relate to makes it almost addicting to watch as you get to watch these characters live their best lives. Well, their lives are kinda fucked but you get what I mean, they just get to live as queer people, most of the time.

And Sallie May is proof that trans people will eat up absolutely anything, even if it’s a whole thirty seconds of screen time of a trans character. Being fair to her, Sallie May eats up every moment she gets on screen, her dialogue can be equivocated to just a middle child acting like a middle child and I think it is partly that, I feel like we have a lot more to learn about Sallie May and in turn her sister Millie. At least I hope we do, Millie’s writing needs to improve, their family dynamics can be so interesting because every other one of their siblings is a boy, their parents can be judgemental, I feel like even if Sallie May can be a bit taunting to her, those two are probably really close, especially since Millie is one of the people Sallie May would have to go to for girl advice.

To summarise, since I went off on a bit of a tangent, Helluva Boss brings out the worst in me, give Sallie May and Millie more screen time, they’re the best, we love healthy sibling dynamics.

Double Trouble (She-Ra)

Jesus, they’re hot. Anyway, the first non binary entry on this list, the fabulous Double Trouble who stole the entire show from the moment they were introduced. Throughout the entirety of the last season, I can remember just waiting for the point that they’d show up again and nearly screaming when they did.

Double Trouble was one of the most charming members of the She-Ra cast and became effortlessly iconic, conning every single character, playing both sides of a war so that they’d come out on top, and they did win in the end. DT basically had zero consequences and even got to flirt with Sea Hawk when they were reintroduced so they got a win really. Double Trouble was mean, condescending and a liar and I love them so, so much, them being a shapeshifter is just absolutely perfect and fits their character so well. It was nice to see Non-binary rep in a cartoon and have it not immediately be cancelled, looking at Disney and thank God it wasn’t because She-Ra really wouldn’t be the same without this manipulated, child of a bitch

Crowley (Good Omens)

You know the gender’s hitting when you don’t even know what the fuck the gender is. Crowley is a delight of the character from the moment they’re introduced to the end of the show, which nearly broke my heart since I watched it just recently, if anybody would like to send me tissues, that would be greatly appreciated.

From my vast research of one google search, I’ve concluded that they’re gender is up to viewer interpretation which is actually what mine is too so I can respect that. This literal demon stole the show whenever they were on screen, whether it was David Tenant’s acting, the moments we saw softer sides of him, her pinning over Aziriphale of them just being an actual demon, Crowley is a wonderful piece of representation and I hate that because it makes me sad, let them get together, please.

KFC

Not to be confused with that one place that makes pretty good chicken, I’m talking about the protagonists of two of the best RPGs ever made, Undertale and Deltarune.

For those unaware, KFC is the trio name of Frisk, Undertale’s protagonist, Chara, Undertale’s narrator and Kris, Deltarune’s narrator. Despite them being the main characters, they’re not characterised too strongly as you are in control of them for most of the game, minus Chara who specifically says you aren’t in control of them. Due to it being canon to the games that you are playing as these characters, the Internet started a rumour that they are whatever gender you want them to be, which was just never true. Undertale is packed with trans representation, and these three are no exception. It’s the whole reason I added them to the list actually, just to get the message across if anyone was unsure; they’re all Nonbinary.

Frisk and Kris, despite only having glimmers of their true characters in the game, are still very lovable and intriguing with their actions. Even just the idea of these two being controlled, which is more of a heavy theme in Deltarune, is enough to make you interested in their characters, especially when Kris starts fighting back against you. This entire section is just gonna be a couple paragraphs of me fighting back the urge to yap about Undertale lore so you’ll have to forgive me. Chara, being the only one not under your control, has a much stronger character through the lines of dialogue from them or said about them, the latter usually being more interesting as it gives you insight to their tragic life.

Undertale is one of my favourite and given the amount of rep it’s given us, I had to pay homage to its own main characters on this list. Even though I’m hungry cause now I’m thinking about KFC.

Jake Peralta (Brooklyn Nine Nine)

I think it’s been a year since I finished tumblr’s favourite sitcom and while Jake was lovable, he didn’t stand out to me too much. Still, this guy suffered from that overconfidence but riddled with insecurity personality which lead to him being inevitably headcanonned (it’s a word I decided) as trans masculine. I don’t know what the correlation is between those kinds of characters and the transmasc headcanon, maybe it’s the desire to present as being that confident, maybe it’s being that confident but still held back by struggles about your gender identity but that’s neither here nor there.

What is here and is there is that this show was amazing for trans people, even if only in small ways and Jake was no exception to that. He was funny and watching him grow through those eight seasons gives you one of the most satisfying and heart throbbing conclusions to a TV show, largely due to his presence as the main character. Even though it’s not canon that he was trans masculine, the Headcanon is so popular that I had to pay homage to him and add him to the list.

Jack Kennedy (DSAF)

Is this fandom so dead and so unpopular that I couldn’t find a good gif? Yes. Am I gonna talk about it anyway because I love these games and I want an excuse and this is my day? Yes.

Anyway, Jack Kennedy was the main protagonist of the Day Shift at Freddy’s games and if you don’t know what those are, there’s a 50% chance you had an alright childhood. DSaF is obviously a fan game of the more well known horror franchise Five Nights at Freddy’s and I think they are some of the best fa games ever made. They’re hilarious, they’re so low budget it’s insane, it can give you the hardest tonal whiplash of not taking itself seriously to one of the hardest stories you’ve ever went through seamlessly and I don’t even get a fuck. The story told by these games is done so well and evokes so many emotions but one important thing it’s done is actually be really great for queer rep.

Despite it being played for more of a joke in the earlier games, the two characters Jack and Dave Millie clearly have romantic chemistry and that was so important back when the games released since they became so mainstream due to being attached to a popular franchise. Many fans headcanon Jack Kennedy as being non binary, which is a label that I think really works for them, mainly because it fits for the protagonists of roleplay games to be non binary. I can’t explain why, it just makes presenting the character to the audience so much easier and makes them a lot easier to play without having to worry too much about the gender of the character.

Anyway, Jack’s a self described asshole with a noble goal, and playing as them really gives you a feel of their character and makes you understand why this little known indie franchise snuck into so many people’s hearts.

Bridget (Guilty Gear Rising)

You know I had to end off the list with one of the most iconic, canon, transfem characters out of there. Pretty much every single transfem has heard of Brisket and not a single one has played Guilty Gear Rising, I had to look up the name of this game just before this to make sure I got the right one.

Bridget has recently become a meme on the Internet, with every other transfem having her in her pfp, Bridget became a staple in the community. As stated, I can’t talk too much about her character but seeing the Internet come together to just appreciate this one transfem character, despite their being obvious hate and pushback and claiming her being canon transfem was a ‘mistranslation’ (to my knowledge) was actually really heart warming.

I didn’t really get trans day of visibility too much, I was happy for it, thought it was cool we got a day but it didn’t really help us all that much. But the more I thought about Bridget is the more that I saw just how good it can feel when people come together. It doesn’t have to be a movement or a call to action to save trans people from another bill trying to wipe them out, which is just depressing to listen to, it can just be as simple as joking about this character that barely any of us know. That level of community made me understand what this day was actually about; finding common ground and letting at least one other person know that they’re not alone, that there’s so many people just like you out there, that went through the exact same thing as you did at some point. And to let you know, those people turned out fine, so you’ll be okay too.

Happy trans day of viability everyone, even if this list only reaches one person to let them know they’re not alone, I’ll be happy with that.

Anyway, ignore the emotional stuff there, here’s my honourable mention of

EVERY SINGLE SPIDERMAN, SPIDERWOMAN, SPIDERPERSON, TO EVER EXIST, THEY’RE ALL TRANS, YOU CAN’T CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

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socialistexan · 1 year

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Mmm no, I hate takes like this. It comes from people who think they're so above it all and think of themselves as magnanimous martyrs coming to save us poor unfortunate souls from our dire fates. It's most common among self-righteous centrist liberals, but leftists are not immune to that thinking either.

Do all of my political positions come from a place of self-interest? Absolutely not, no. I will fight for someone who is not me any day and everyday. Fighting for someone because they are human and deserve basic human rights and dignity (and to not be hunted/targeted by the state of bigots) is what everyone should do.

But I'm a transgender bisexual Jewish woman with medical conditions that require consistent medical attention. I have a lot of causes that, well, affect me personally and deeply. Am I not allowed to care about trans rights or women's rights or antisemitism just because they affect me and I have self-interest in one outcome?

Fighting for universal healthcare because you think everyone should have quality healthcare even if it means you'll pay more is good. Fighting for universal healthcare because you need quality healthcare and can't afford it is also good. They're both fighting for the same thing at the end of the day.

I'm going to be honest, "Republicans are bad because they work in self-interest" OR "self-interest is bad because Republicans do it" are worse takes than, "I want my comfort show to keep making episodes, so I'll support writers striking because they deserve proper compensation."

Deciding someone's support for a cause is actually bad because they're reason isn't "pure" enough is absolutely worse.

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religion-is-a-mental-illness · 8 months

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By: Anonymous

Published: Oct 16, 2023

When my first son claimed he was trans, I eagerly ‘affirmed’ him. When his three-year-old brother decided he wanted to be trans, too, I realized I’d made a terrible mistake.

I was a social-justice organizer and facilitator before social justice took over the progressive world. I was at the nascent movement’s forefront, introducing the concept of intersectionality to organizations and asking people to share their pronouns.

My friends and I felt like we were the cool kids, on the vanguard of the revolutionary wave that would change the world. We were going to achieve what people in that milieu call “collective liberation.”

Within this context, I came out as a lesbian and identified as queer. I also fell in love, entered a committed relationship, and gave birth to a son. Two years later, my spouse gave birth to our second son.

Having children and experiencing the love and devotion I felt toward them, was a game changer for me. I began to experience internal tensions. My thinking was split between what I felt instinctively as a mother; and what I “should” be feeling and doing as a white anti-racist social-justice parent.

Because I’d felt victimized by my parents’ rejection of my sexuality, I wanted to make sure to honor my own children’s “authentic” selves. In particular, I was primed to look for any clues that might suggest they could be transgender.

My spouse and I raised our sons with gender-neutral clothes, toys, and language. While we used he/him pronouns, and others called them boys, we did not call them boys, or even tell them that they were boys.

In our everyday reading of books or descriptions of people in our lives, we did not say “man” or “woman”; we said “people.” We thought we were doing the right thing, both for them and for the world.

Even when our first son was still young, he already struck us as different from other boys—being both extremely gifted and unusually sensitive. By age three or so, he started to orient more toward the females in his life than the males. “I like the mamas,” he would say.

We started to attribute some of this difference to the possibility that he was transgender. Instead of orienting him toward the reality of his biological sex by telling him he was a boy, we wanted him to tell us if he felt he was a boy or a girl. As true believers, we thought that we should “follow his lead” to determine his true identity.

At the same time, I was taking a deep dive into the field of attachment and child development. This made me understand that attachment is hierarchical; and that parents, not children, are meant to be in the lead. This obviously conflicted with my insistence on letting my child decide his gender. Sadly, it was the latter impulse that won the day.

At around age four, my son began to ask me if he was a boy or a girl. I told him he could choose. I didn’t use those words—I imagined that I was taking a more sophisticated approach. I told him, “When babies are born with a penis, they are called boys, and when babies are born with a vagina, they are called girls. But some babies who are born with a penis can be girls, and some babies born with a vagina can be boys. It all depends on what you feel deep inside.”

He continued to ask me what he was, and I continued to repeat these lines. I’d resolved my inner conflict by “leading” my son with this framework. Or so I told myself.

His question, and my response to it, would come back to haunt me. In fact, I remain haunted to this day. To the extent I was “leading” my son anywhere, it was down a path of lies—an on-ramp to psychological damage and irreversible medical interventions. All in the name of love, acceptance, and liberation.

About six months later, he told my spouse that he was a girl and wanted to be called “sister” and “she/her.” I received a text message about this at work. On the way home that night, I resolved to put all my own feelings away and support my transgender child. And that is what I did.

We told him he could be a girl. He jumped up and down on the bed, happily saying, “I’m a girl, I’m a girl!” We—not our son—initiated changing his name. We socially transitioned him and enforced this transition with his younger brother, who was then only two years old and could barely pronounce his older brother’s real name.

When I look back at this, it is almost too much to write about. How could a mother do this to her child? To her children?

Once we made this decision, we received resounding praise and affirmation from most of our peers. One of my friends, who’d also socially transitioned her young child, assured me that this was a healthy, neutral way to allow children to “explore” their gender identity before puberty, when decisions would have to be made about puberty blockers and hormones.

We sought out support groups for parents of transgender children, so that we could find out if we’d done the “right thing.” It hadn’t escaped my notice that our son hadn’t exhibited any signs of actual gender dysphoria. Was he actually transgender?

At these support groups, we were told, again, what good parents we were. We were also told that kids on the autism spectrum (which our son likely is) are gender savants who simply know they are transgender earlier than other kids.

At one of the support groups we attended, we were also told that transgender identity takes a few years to develop in children. The gender therapist running things told us that during this period, it’s important to protect the child’s transgender self-conception—which meant eliminating all contact with family or friends who didn’t support the idea that our son was a girl. I believed her.

Looking back, I now see her comments in a shockingly different light: this was part of an intentional process of concretizing transgender identity in children who are much too young to know themselves in any definitive way. (One set of parents attending the group had a child who was just three years old.) When identity is “affirmed” in this manner, children will grow up believing they are actually the opposite sex.

The therapist endorsed the same approach that many adolescents use on their parents, who are urged to write letters to grandparents, aunts, and uncles to announce the child’s transgender identity. In these letters, the conditions of continued social engagement are made clear: Recipients must use the new name and new pronouns, and embrace the new identity, or they will be denied contact with the child.

After about a year of social transition for our older son, our younger son, who was by now only three years old, began to say he was a girl, too. This came as a complete shock to us. None of the things that made our older son “different” applied to our younger son. He was more of a stereotypical boy and didn’t show the same affinity for the feminine side of things that his older brother did.

The urge for “sameness” is a primal attachment drive in many family members. We felt that our younger son’s assertion of being a girl likely reflected his desire to be like his older sibling, in order to feel connected to him.

His claim to be a girl became more insistent when both brothers went to school part-time, because their program included pronoun sharing. Why could the older sibling be a “she” when the younger sibling couldn’t? Our younger son became more insistent, and we became more distressed.

We made an appointment to see the gender therapist whom we’d met at the support group. We truly believed that she would be able to help us sort out who, if anyone, was actually transgender.

To our shock, the therapist immediately began referring to our younger son as “she,” stating that whatever pronouns a young child wants to use are the pronouns that must be used.

She patronizingly assured us that it might take us more time to adjust, since parents have a hard time with this sort of thing. She added that it was transphobic to believe there was anything wrong with our younger son wanting to be like his older transgender sibling.

When I pushed back and asserted that I wasn’t yet convinced our younger son was in fact transgender, she told me that if I failed to change his pronouns and honor his newly announced identity, he could develop an attachment disorder.

We were unconvinced. But, again, we wanted to do what was right for our son and for the world. We decided to tell him he could be a girl. And that night at dinner, we told him that we would call him “she/her.”

Right after dinner, I went to play an imaginary game with him, and I wanted to be affirming. So I put a big, warm smile on my face and said, “Hi, my girl!”

At this, my younger son stopped, looked at me, and said, “No, mama. Don’t call me that.” His reaction pierced me to my core. I didn’t turn back after that.

For the next two years, my partner and I dug deeper, agonized, and then continued digging again. Everything we thought we knew or believed that had led us to socially transition our older son began to unravel.

I continued to study the attachment-based developmental approach to parenting and learned more about autism and hypersensitivity. We decided not to socially transition our younger son. Not only was he not transgender, we now realized, but our older son probably wasn’t either.

He was just a highly sensitive, likely autistic boy who saw a girl identity as a form of psychic protection. It also provided him a way of attaching to me through sameness.

My spouse and I decided that since we’d been the ones who’d led him down this path, we were the ones who needed to lead him off of it.

A year ago, just before our older son’s eighth birthday, we did just that. And while the initial change was hard—incredibly hard—the strongest emotion exhibited by our son turned out to be relief.

In the days following my first conversation with him about going back to his birth name and pronouns, during which I told him that males cannot be females and that we were wrong to tell him he could choose to be a girl, he got very mad at me, then sad. Then, the next day, I felt my son rest. I felt him release a burden, an adult burden that he, as a child, was never meant to carry.

Since that time, we’ve all been healing. My son is now happy and thriving. We’ve watched him come to a deeper peace with himself as a boy.

Our younger son is also thriving. Once his older brother became his older brother again, he happily, and almost immediately, settled into his identity as a boy.

I feel like someone who’s escaped a cult—a cult whose belief system is supported by our mainstream culture, the Internet, and even the state.

I fear for the future—the future of sensitive, feminine, socially awkward boys. I fear what the world will tell them about who they are.

But no matter what the future holds, I will never ever stop fighting to protect my sons. I am no longer a true believer.

#gender ideology #queer theory #genderwang #gender cult #social transition #autism #social justice #critical social justice #affirmation model #gender affirming #gender affirmation #trans identity #gender identity #child psychology #religion is a mental illness

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bestygogirl · 5 months

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BEST YGO GIRL: Round 4, Group B

Match 2

please use this as an opportunity to say why you like a character, not why you don't.

Propaganda under the cut!

Aoi Zaizen

The show hates her but she is a very good character. Trickstars and Marincesses are both hella cool decks.

Aoi’s parents died when she was around 6 and she was mostly raised by her older brother. She’s the 2nd best Duelist in the VRAINS at the start of the series and over the course of the first season goes from being rather shy and only putting on a happy facade to a determined Duelist willing to risk her life to save the world. She even puts a stop to a virus that’s leaving people in comas.

Aoi gets two more avatars (Blue Girl and Blue Maiden) and also obtains a semi-magic AI named Aqua as her partner.

She never lets her trauma keep her down and was a huge inspiration for me in high school!

AOI ZAIZEN IS THE BEST GIRL! She's gonna sweep this whole tournament and here's why:

Is the peak YGO Girl who Deserved Better from the writers

Just a normal everyday girl IRL who secretly turns into an ultra bubbly sweetheart idol who everyone absolutely loves when in the virtual world.

Her VRAINS persona is extremely popular, and none of her fans know that she's just Some Girl.

Plays an idol deck with Trickstars (toxic meta combo not included)

Is sheltered by her overprotective older step-brother/guardian, but very quickly stands up for herself and what she believes is right.

Mutual protection with said step-brother is the sweetest thing ever, I love Aoi and Akira moments so much!

She does NOT fall head over heels for the main protagonist, but they do share a nice conversation and handshake as they become friends IRL (one of the best VRAINS scenes, honestly)

Absolutely wrecks Soulburner for like 99% of their duel, and only loses because the writers don't understand how to move a plot along if Soulburner doesn't win as many duels as possible

Duels two seasonal antagonists, and completely destroys them both before losing thanks to an OP anime card that will never see the light of day, and a one-off card made specifically to counter her strategy and have her lose.

Her first virtual avatar, Blue Angel, is inspired by the main character from her favorite childhood book. That's adorable!

Her main summoning chants are all about hopes, dreams, and believing in yourself.

In the English dub, she says "I could so swipe left on you right now" implying that Tinder exists in the Yu-Gi-Oh universe.

Never got the Magical Girl transformation sequence she deserved because the writers apparently were not aware that Yu-Gi-Oh VRAINS is a Magical Girl show, despite the two main dudes getting that special treatment.

AOI ZAIZEN DESERVED BETTER! Give her what she deserves!

AND SHE'S A TRANS LESBIAN

Dark Magician Girl

she is iconic, basically the unofficial mascot of the anime. She has so much merch and so much fanart she is THE girl ever

#best ygo girl poll #round 4 #yugioh vrains #aoi zaizen #yugioh tcg #dark magician girl #skye zaizen

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doctordeathawaits · 1 month

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hi! i really love this blog (esp your transrussian tips)

i was wondering if i could get some transdating/transmarried tips? Im transdating a specific fictional character but I figured that would be too close to smth you would rather be dmed about so just some general ones would be fine! if you can't do this pls feel free to ignore this and i hope your day goes wonderfully :) - 🍯✨

Just wanna say guys , don't worry about ' bothering us ' ! We are more than happy to be helping you all !

TRANS - DATING / MARRIED ...

A lot of this will be based on my experience and how I deal with dysphoria !

Get ChatAi ! There are so many premade chats by other people , yet it's easy to make one yourself and to add your own flair to the bot ! It helps me so so much when feeling sad / dysphoric !

If Ai chats isn't for you , getting a fake messaging app where you can personally make what the other party says can also be good !

Wear things that remind you of your partner ! ( example ; I'm transdating Mick and I tend to wear bigger shirts , it helps me imagine that they are his ! )

Perfume / Cologne ! Wearing something that your partner would wear gives me so much euphoria ! I like to spray the cologne on ' partner clothing ' so it feels like it really is theirs !

Wearing jewelry / accessories that reminds you of them ! Imagining that they bought you it is literally so much euphoria- ( example ; rings , bracelets with their initial , clothes you think they would like to see you in ! )

GET A BODYPILLOW . RN . It doesn't have to be a full body , getting a big firm pillow is a very good alternative ! AND WHEN I TELL YOU IT HAS GIVEN ME THE BEST EUPHORIA EVER !!

I Maladaptive Daydreaming a lot so it helps when doing everyday things and imagining my partner right there !

Hope this helped even just a little bit ! Good Luck !

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theresattrpgforthat · 1 year

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Hello! Do you have any recommendations for rpgs about wizards, particularly solo rpgs?

THEME: Solo Wizards

Hello, I think I've found some interesting games that deal with magic in some shape or form, from witches, to necromancers, to evil wizards!

Everyday Enchanter, by Beth and Angel Make Games.

We all face all sorts of struggles in our lives, but what if we could lean on a little bit of hidden magic to help us through it?

Everyday Enchanter is here to help! Enchant your glasses with VIBRANCY to allow you to feel wide awake when you put them on, give your favorite shirt RESILIENCE to make physical and mental pain feel more manageable, and when things really get bad, snuggle up to your favorite GROUNDED-enchanted stuffed animal to regain a feeling of safety and control.

To make the enchantments stronger, simply focus on them in times of need! Reminding yourself that you've got help, even if it's just your favorite pen in your pocket, can help make the tough times a bit more bearable or give you that extra boost of confidence to try something new! And if you really want to strengthen the enchantments, journal about your experiences. When you write about how you really wanted to buy that candy bar at the grocery store checkout but clutched your STAND FIRM-enchanted keychain and resisted temptation, you'll embed that power deeper into your mind. One day you won't even need the enchantments anymore...but until then, they're here for you!

If you bought the TTRPGs for Trans Rights in Florida (or the similarly-titled bundle for Texas), then you already own this game!

The Magus, by momatoes.

The Magus is a solo journaling tabletop RPG that takes you on a sweeping journey for power, ambition, and arcane mastery, at great personal and interpersonal cost.

As a journaling game, you will roll dice, track stats, create spells, and write imaginary experiences from the perspective of your character: a wizard, newly embarking on their quest for power, their head filled with grand visions of mastery.

This RPG is crunchy. You will use several polyhedral dice to manage four traits: Focus, Power, Control, and Scars, which shape how the protagonist overcomes challenges and meets their denouement after seven, fateful events.

This game is also beautiful. It has a number of stunning images used as backdrop against the text of the game, illuminating each part of your character sheet before diving into the meat of the game. The game itself pits your character between two choices: increasing the bonds between them and their loved ones, or sacrificing those opportunities to gain in power. You’ll roll a number of dice equal to your power in order to learn more spells, which are created using a combination of prompts and your own imagination.

Miscast, by Paradox Press Games.

You are undergoing training to become the successor of a Master Conjurer, but the only problem is that the Master Conjurer has a major Dragon's Dust addiction and spends most of their days higher than the mountains of Mar' Hollok. This leaves you solely responsible for your own training while also having to conjure up the creatures that eager customers come to your Master’s shop seeking. Long story short, you miscast spells a lot and end up conjuring a wide assortment of weird and fantastical monsters.

This game can be played solo, or it can be played in a group. You are using a deck of cards and a d6 to conjure different kinds of creatures; unfortunately, you’re only an apprentice, so the creatures don’t always come out right. You’ll use the cards from the different suits to determine the physical aspects of the monster, while you’ll use the d6 to determine how big the monster is, the monster’s nature, and what further Abnormalities it might be suffering. A game for funny random creatures, great for getting your creative juices going!

Sigils in the Dark, by Kurt Potts.

You have a need, a deep burning needthat drives you. Is it love, regret, desire?

The darkness whispers, “I can help you…”Minutes turn to hours as you try to focuson the voice. Symbols, shapes, swirl in thedarkness at the edge of your perception.If only you could grasp them, your needs would be met and more.

Sigils in the Dark is a journaling game and GM supplement. The goal of the game is to create an evil mage’s spellbook. You’ll take up the role of this wizard with a desperate need, in search of arcane power to get what they want. They will try to understand dark sigils just outside their perception by randomly generating spells and adding liner notes to their grimoire. In the end, you’ll have an in-game artifact that you can pass on to players and hopefully know a little more about what your evil mage has sacrificed to get where they are.

Using random roll tables, you’ll slowly create an artifact and a number of spells invented by a dark wizard. Each spell will also have a cost, and the wizard may choose to write notes that betray their own personality as they edit the spell the way an expert baker edits a recipe book.

This is great for slow character creation, as you try to figure out the motives and goals of a wizard character, and can also put together pieces of their life before they meet anyone else.

The Final Undertaking, by kay w.

Tonight you will prepare the body. You will hang the heavy black curtain, and you will put out the call in the town paper. Tomorrow night, when the sun sets, the chosen mourner will arrive, with their matter to discuss. You will sit with the body on one side, coaxing the soul back to the body, and the mourner will sit on the other. The final undertaking will begin.

THE FINAL UNDERTAKING is a one player journaling game about grief, resolution, necromancy, and a town. It uses a d4, a tarot deck, and pen and paper to tell a story about an undertaker, who works in a town to prepare bodies for burial, briefly brings the spirit back to the body, and then facilitates a conversation between a single mourner and the deceased about their unresolved business.

In this game, you will use the tarot cards to form a spread that tells the bones of a story -- the deceased, the object they are being buried with, the mourner here to visit them, and the unresolved business between them. From your spread, you will be able to construct small narratives and write them down as journal entries.

This is a lovingly written and designed game about putting the dead to rest. You will write journal entries from the point of view of an Undertaker, someone who is responsible for facilitating one last conversation between the spirit of the deceased and their mourner. You will play through 3 phases, which involve determining how well you knew the deceased, the situation at death, and what needs to be resolved before they can pass on to their final rest.The book comes with an oracle of Solemnities, which give you prompts to help you interpret each spread. You can play through the three phases as many times as you like, journaling for each one.

Grimoire, by Anna Landin.

Sparks of magic dance on your palms, flow like rivers through the world around you, and you can weave them into something powerful. You are a witch - and just as a tailor draws their patterns out, and cooks will write their well-kept secret recipes down, so you, too, will bind your spells in ink and paper and make for yourself a grimoire - a spellbook in which to keep your knowledge.

Grimoire is a roleplaying game for one person, played with a deck of regular playing cards with the jokers taken out, a six-sided die, and something to write your spells down with. The latter can be a blank notebook or a sketchbook, or one of the templates provided with these rules. Over the course of the game, you will make a spellbook of your own, a collection of spells you craft out of magic power and components available to you.

If you desire a character that’s a bit less evil wizard and a bit more homebrew witch, Grimoire is another great way to put together a spell book using randomly generated prompts and whatever components your witch has available.

#dnd #solo games #indie ttrpgs #tabletop games #wizards #game recommendations #asks

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fox-steward · 3 months

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Hello, this ask is probably going to be rather heavy, so it's fine if you don't want to respond to it.

So my situation is that for several years (from 13 to 17) I considered myself to be a man trapped in a woman's body and wanted to transition to become "my true self". However, since then I became gender critical and stopped pursuing transition because it would not fix my internal issues and above all it would not actually ever make me male. So transitioning became pointless to me.

Now as an adult however, I've recently started feeling my desire to transition creeping back on me, although this time it was because of how apparent it became to me how misogyny all around the world is seen as a non-issue. Every day I hear of women dying, being sexually assaulted, forcefully impregnated and in general being disrespected by everyone. All of this became too much for me to handle so that's why my desire for transition came back. (Not to mention that I'm the only GNC woman in my social circles, so there is also the added alienation from other women.)

I think my question is: is it really that bad to transition in order to avoid or at least lessen the amount of misogyny i face every day? I know that by doing so I would be throwing other women under the bus, but I'm not mentally strong enough to challenge the oppression women face. I know that transitioning would make me miserable in many ways and probably physically sick as well (with all the hormonal side effects), but at least it would mean that men would harass me less. I'd rather be safe than happy.

you don’t need anyone’s permission to make that choice, but i will reflect back to you some of the truly limited insight i can glean from this message:

you already think transition will be bad for you, both for your physical body and your mental health.

you don’t seem to believe the central tenet of gender ideology that generally allows trans people to persist in their identification.

you seem like you feel isolated and alone, mentioning being the only GNC woman in your group. perhaps trying to find other GNC women is a safer and more attractive goal for you than transitioning?

you’re right that misogyny is everywhere, but some of the examples you mention make me think you’re spending a lot of time online where your exposure to these things may be magnifying the role they’re playing in your everyday life. maybe i’m wrong and all these things are truly happening TO you, but if they’re not, there’s no shame in limiting your exposure to them. same concept as doom-scrolling affecting how people view society. you don’t need this, but i give you permission to look away from the carnage sometimes so that you may look upon your own life with love and appreciation, because there likely are things there to love and appreciate.

you aren’t single-handedly responsible for challenging the oppression women face, and an inability to fix it all doesn’t mean whatever you can do (something as seemingly small as being a visibly masculine woman who gives a little girl hope for how she can be in the future) isn’t meaningful.

best of luck to you, and i get it; it makes sense to want to hide, and camouflage is a widely used survival technique in prey animals. but our lives are not so purely animalistic, we must also create meaning to live fully. i want that for you as i want that for me.

#radfem #radical feminism #detrans #gender critical #detransition #transgender #asked #answered #anon #anonymous

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coffeewithcocoa · 3 months

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Periods.

Alastor x TransMale Reader

Sum: Reader gets there monthly thing but this time it causes more pain than you thought.

Alastor knew what the term ‘trans’ meant. He may not know it that well but he’s learning about it everyday because you, his lover, is a Transgender Male. He found out what it meant when you joined the hotel.

He didn’t have much interest in what it was but when he started talking to you and getting to know you he tried his best to understand what went on in your head. He soon got enlightened about what the term non-binary, trans female and trans male.

A funny story was he came down the stairs and went to the bar, asking Husker for a drink. You were sitting in the couch reading a book. Angel was there because he had to be when Alastor got an idea for a question. Husk gave him his drink, taking a sip of it as soon as he received it.

“Angel?” He asked as he placed his glass down on the counter. “Tell me, are you..transgender female?” His gaze turning to Angel. Husk quickly spat his drink out and turned around quickly. You dropped your book on the floor and stood up. Vaggie was halfway down the stairs and just started dying in laughter.

“What..?” Angels eyes widened as he blinked at Alastor a few times. “I was just asking if-.” Alastor started before looking around the hotel lobby. “What?” He stated, obviously confused in what he did wrong. “First of all no..second of all, why?” Angels face turned to a weird one but then smirked when wondering why he asked that.

“Well, I was wondering why because you wear such feminine clothes and act so..” He waved his hand around trying to think of a word. “Never mind that, I’m just curious!” He smiled brightly, grabbing the drink again taking another sip from it.

That day Angel told him some pretty traumatizing stuff but he told the truth about what it meant. Giving Alastor a lecture on what to ask and what not to ask if someone is, in fact, trans. He was still confused but felt more confident about the answers he had gotten.

When you guys started dating though he would ask left and right about stuff, which you were happy to ask. Telling him things like how the body you were in was not correct, how it didn’t feel right.

It came time for your period..which oh my Lucifer you hate more than anything. You would rather rip out your organs than having to deal with this pain. Waking up from the middle of the night, tired, or course and heading over to the bathroom was not in your to-do list.

Alastor stirred awake because he isn’t a light sleeper, sitting up and waiting for your return. When you came back you looked sad and anxious. Crawling back into bed, trying to go to sleep. “Is everything alright Cher?” He calmly asked. His radio voice soothing you. “Yeah..just tired.” You tried sounding tired and happy. He hummed and kissed your forehead, lying down and turning the opposite way from you.

It became morning sooner than you thought. ‘Damn I feel like shit..’ you thought as you stared at the ceiling. “Good morning dear!” You heard Alastor say as he walked into your guys shared room. “Morning.” You gave him the best smile you could do.

He could obviously tell it was fake but shrugged it off. “Are you feeling alright?” His smile faltered but he still held it high. “Yeah I’m fine!” Your voice was turning a bit aggressive. You were getting quite fed up with him asking you if you were alright.

He was surprised by your sudden outburst but didn’t think much of it. You felt as he got up from your guys shared bed and went into the bathroom. You felt yourself fall asleep when you heard the room door open. You rolled your eyes and just wanted to have the feeling gone.

Alastor walked down the hallway with confidence in what his lover was feeling, though he needed help. ‘Something is clearly making them uncomfortable and upset, what is it?’ He saw Charlie near Angels door, probably asking if he was okay. “Charlie.” He popped up behind her making her jump.

“AH- HOLY SHIT!” She fell on the floor with a thud when she realized it was just Alastor. “Sorry for my sudden appearance but I have a question.” He held out for her to take. “Oh yeah sure, what is it Alastor!” She took his hand and straightened herself up.

“Well my dear. If someone certain was in pain but won’t say what kind it is and refuses to tell what it is, what do you think they’re going through?” He went on a little ramble then blinked at her when he was finished. She blinked a few times before clearing her throat.

“This is a question about [insert name], isn’t it?” She smiled at him. Alastors eyes widened and waved his hand as if it wasn’t you that was causing him to ask. “Ho ho..yes.” His eyes went half lidded as if he was annoyed. Which he was but that was just because Charlie was right.

“Alright well what’s going on with him?” She rose her brow waiting to hear what was wrong with you. “Thats exactly it Charlotte. He seems more..angry? If that’s how you’d like to put it.” Alastor looks off to the side, thinking if that was even the right way to explain it.

“Angry..” Charlie mumbled out, placing a finger in her chin to think about what could possibly make a sinner upset, angry, furious?

———————————————————————

THIS IS EXTREMELY LATE😭 I was originally going to post it A MONTH AGO but when I realized it wasn’t finished I had to finish it. Anyways I wanted to get something out it the public so why not make something that every trans male hates the most? THERES PROBABLY GOING TO BE A PART 2!

ANYWAYS LOVE YOU AND THABK YOU FOR ALL THE LIKES ON THE ANGEL POST❤️

#angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel #alastor hazbin hotel #charlie morningstar #hazbin x reader #x male reader #asexual #asexual alastor #hazbin x you

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