When you got more Rizz than what you bargained for 😳
(Slight nsfw)
They just wanna take care of them after a long night 😏 and ya know take in the fact that the guy is finally gonna get those 8 hours of sleep, at least on their watch!
They just wanna care for their little bat-baby your honor 🥺👉👈
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Bruce finally decided it’s time to reveal his identity to Superman and Wonder Woman, so he takes off his mask…and is met with two blank faces. Zero recognition.
Like, Bruce Wayne is in that celebrity category of being famous for being rich and famous and also as a local celebrity, so I like to imagine that outside of Gotham, if you’re not that into celebrity culture, you probably wouldn’t recognize him walking down the street. And yeah, Clark’s a journalist, but the celebrity stuff and charity fluff pieces aren’t really his area and Diana’s never really understood the fascination with celebrities. So yeah, they don’t recognize their coworker sans makeup and expensive clothes, with helmet hair, looking like he hasn’t slept in 48 hours.
So now Bruce has to sit there, trying to figure out the least dickish way to say “don’t you know who I am?” bc he’s just not used to the lack of reaction. So he finally stumbles out with, “do you not recognize me?”
And Clark is feeling the awkwardness now but trying to be polite, “I’m so sorry, have we met as civilians before?”
“N-no, that’s—that’s not what I meant.”
Diana, trying to be helpful, “oh, are you some kind of celebrity?”
“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I am.”
“Oh,” Diana is excited now, “are you one of those influencers I’ve heard of?”
Bruce thinks a little part of him just died inside. “No, no. I’m…no.”
He’s trying so hard to think of the best way to explain that’s he’s famous for being rich, stupid, and having his parents killed traumatically in front of him but without sounding like that guy, like he’s trying to brag to his coworkers bc he’s not, he’s just used to bigger reactions, okay?
But now Diana and Clark are staring at him all politely and earnestly, wanting to learn about their teammate, meanwhile Bruce is trying to shrink into himself like a turtle bc he’s feeling super embarrassed and he would have played this whole thing differently if he’d known this is how it was going to go
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Bruce's google search history later that night: "What do you do when you realize all your coworkers are demi-gods and gorgeous?"
I headcanon that Bruce doesn't think about romantic relationships on his own so when he's called out, he's frightfully underprepared and has NO idea how to respond. This is in contrast to him being prepared with 18 contingency plans for an uprising of unconfirmed mole people.
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Bruce Wayne’s type of man is someone who can make him worse and his type of woman is someone who could easily top him, there is no in between
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Imagine a world where Batman and his family never joined the Justice League but like, both Wonder Woman and Superman know him.
They mention him idly sometimes and even despite not being there (that they know of) he's become the League's cryptid. No one knows who this hero is- Gotham sticks to itself, it's a shithole but it's their shithole- or where they are or anything??
Eventually rumors start going around between the heroes. Is the bat some sort of eldritch being? They overheard the big 2 say something about shadows and undead revival?? Their secret boyfriend? They heard them talk about kids???
It comes to a slight head when during a mind-controlled Superman rampage he gets tackled by a black blur and the next time they see him he's fine?? No mind control??? What?????
"Oh, Bats was passing by and is exasperated about me getting mind controlled again."
Supes that doesn't explain as much as you think it does-
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