31DOD Day 23

Hear me out. So we've all seen the Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles comic

But Dick Grayson has never been too involved with these events. Some of you may even know who Karai is, and I'm not talking about 2012 Karai who was Splinter's long lost daughter kidnapped by the foot or 2018 Karai who was a sweet grandma. I'm talking about the IDW 2011 comic book Karai.

Imagine this, Dick Grayson as Batman with his Robin the prickly Damian we know and love. Now, we know that Damian's grandfather, Ra's al Ghul, is an immortal leader of an assassin clan that bathes in mountain dew to maintain his flesh or whatever. And then Damian is searching for a nobler way through working with Dick!bats to make up for his past mistakes with the LOA.

Now enter Karai, the granddaughter of Oroku Saki, AKA the Shredder, who in the IDW version was the leader of the Foot Clan in feudal Japan. Shredder was then pickled in some sort of demonic juice until modern day where he was brought back to life so he could take over New York and have sex with his sexy immortal fox girlfriend. Sound familiar?

Here's Karai using her blood to bring back her pickled grandpappy in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Secret History of the Foot Clan #4

Batman (1940) #243

I'm mean look at this loser getting it on in his mountain dew.

Anyway, so Dick is Batman and Damian is Robin and Karai ends up in in their universe somehow. Now Dick is dealing with two grandchildren who were raised to be assassins. I just think it would be real funny.

In Batman Unlimited, Damian ends up taking over the League of an Assassins. Karai ends up taking over the foot clan. I think they would get along in the strangest passive aggressive but also polite way. Then Dick is there being the responsible one keeping them from committing crazy murder. He would probably end up fighting Ra's again which I always enjoy:

Nightwing (1996) #152

I want more of Dick kicking this crusty dudes ass.

I think this would give him a chance to eldest daughter syndrome it up with Leo as well as trauma bond over the fact that there are crazy assassin psychos out there obsessed with controlling their brains.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2011) #29

Lookit my poor baby who can barely recognize his own brother after trying to murder him. Ring any bells with Dick Grayson?

The IDW TMNT comics are pretty darn violent. Not for kids my friends.

Unrelated, sort of, but people are always trying to compare the robins with the four turtles. They always say that 3/4 is good enough but I think they are missing the obvious solution here. Stephanie Brown is a Michaelangelo. I think they would be fast friends! Stephanie is a robin too so she should get to hang with the turtles.

I think Damian would get along with Jennika though :)

They are both sweethearts.

Is Hürrem & Suleyman's love as beautiful as it seems ?

While watching Magnificent Century, I've found that one of the most complex relationship in the show was the one of Suleyman and Hürrem themselves. In the context of sexual slavery, traumas and the Ottoman Empire their story is too complex to not analyze.

Hurrem arrives to the harem completely traumatized. She's shipped to this foreign land where all of the sudden she has no one and is no one. It's clear from there that her love for Suleyman is some sort of coping mechanism. This relationship allows her to survive and find some meaning in her life and that's the first problem, Suleyman becomes the center of her destroyed world.

That said, Suleyman really does show her some real affection, he listens to her, they laugh a lot and he immediately starts caring about her. Most importantly, he protects her when he learns she's been thrown in the donjons by Valide and for someone who's in such emotional turmoil that's everything.

But even with that, the foundations of their relationship is absolutely not healthy.

If Hürrem angers Suleyman, disobey or annoy him, or even if he just gets bored of her, she's finished. He can kill her, threatened her, torture her or just abandon her like he did to Mahidevran and her and her children's whole future are threatened. In those circumstances what kind of relationship is this ?

I won't even do more than mention the many times he had her exiled and separated from her children because he was angry at her, but I do want to mention the time he made her drink what she believed was poison to "test her". I was convinced when she woke up that it was going to be a point of non-return in their relationship, the moment she realizes how little choice and agency she had in this. I thought this would shake her delusion that this was love, but no. I blame the writing team for this one, it's doing the story a big disservice to never acknowledge how unbalanced Suleyman and Hürrem's relationship is.

This brings me to the question I've had in mind for a while. Since Suleyman is in many ways all the harem women's captor and master, does Hürrem suffer from Stockholm Syndrome ?

I've focused a lot on Hürrem up until this point, but even if Suleyman has the power life has messed him up just as well. His father tried to kill him, he becomes responsible for a whole Empire at the age of 26, the people in his life lies and sometimes even plays him, some wants his power all to themselves and there comes a point where he can never really know who to trust, who's not imagining his death so they can gain more power. As he grow older, he learns the downside of power in the harshest way, it prevents him to trust his loved one. It's horrible.

I think this is why Hürrem's loyalty was so important to him, because in many ways, no matter if it came from a fucked up place she was the only one who was there for him first and foremost. Yes, she enjoyed the power and played her own little games, but it was never against him.

Again, the issue here is that Suleyman's love seem to mostly come from massive trust issues he developed during his whole life, so how legitimate is it ?

Hürrem and Suleyman built a family together, they had children and grandchildren after that, they really started ruling together as they got older, discussed states affairs and compromised and after her death, he was never really quite the same.

But here where it gets really depressing, with all that said the question is not so much if there was affection between Hürrem and Suleyman or not (they clearly cared for each other) but more if what they thought was love was not just them not being able to give up this companionship in this lonely and miserable life they both led ?

And in many ways, isn't that what a lot of humans beings do, decide to stick together so they won't have to face this harsh life alone ?

In the end, is this what love truly is ?

Hi, I hope this ask gets to you. I want to request some headcanons about the girls (Kyoko, Haru, and Chrome). What do you think they would be like as grandmothers (if ever they become one)? I’m new to your blog, and I love the event that you’re hosting!

Aww, I’m so glad you’re enjoying the event, dear! Welcome to the blog; I’m glad you’re here! Thank you so much for sending in such a cute ask and I hope you’ll enjoy the headcanons!

Kyoko

Kyoko is definitely a very involved grandmother. She loved having kids and I think ‘empty nest syndrome’ hit her hard after her children left and she never fully got over it, so I do think that, when grandchildren were announced, she became very excited and maybe a little overbearing at first.

She babysits the grandchildren every chance she can, and will definitely have at least one extra bedroom all done up so that the children can stay over. She’s going to treat her grandchildren just the way she treated her children though and she will expect them to follow the house rules and behave. She doesn’t spoil them any more than she did their parents.

She would definitely hint to her children that more grandchildren would be nice, and I think she’d love to see her children grow their own families quite large. She hosts family suppers often, has pictures of her children and grandchildren proudly displayed all over her house, has her grandchildren’s drawings on the fridge and is just very involved in the family overall and tries her best to keep the family close and to be a very loving influence in all their lives.

Haru

Haru is definitely that loud, crazy grandmother that everyone kind of inspires to be. She gets more and more unbothered by others opinions as she grows older, living her life exactly how she wants to and she doesn’t really care too much if she embarrasses her grandchildren when they’re out in public together. She encourages them to have fun and to live their authentic selves, whether that’s dancing down the aisles in the grocery store, putting together insane outfits together while out thrift shopping, or singing along full blast to the radio despite the windows all being down.

She will be a kind of competitive grandmother. Like, yeah, Susan, it’s so great that your grandchild just graduated early but my granddaughter got no less than three beans stuck up her nose this week and my grandson cosplayed as an Oni for his school festival so who’s really winning in life here? She’s just so incredibly proud of everything her grandchildren do and she’s very much going to brag about them.

I do feel like Haru kind of is overbearing as a grandmother at times. She will definitely butt heads with her children over how they choose to raise her grandchildren and she often feels like she has to defend her grandchildren whenever they get punished, scolding her children for being too harsh or not understanding enough.

Chrome

Now, I personally do not feel like Chrome really wants or will have children of her own. So, I don’t really think that she would have biological grandchildren. That’s not to say that she won’t end up in the parental or grandmotherly role to anyone.

I do think that, as she ages and grows, both as a person and as an illusionist, that she takes on apprentices of her own and I do feel that she could come to view her apprentices as children, hence gaining grandchildren that way. Even if her apprentices do have biological children, I feel like Chrome always ends up as an honorary grandmother and it is a role she does like, though she’s never going to be fully comfortable having full responsibility of very little children.

I don’t think she’s a super hands-on grandmother but a very proud one. She tends to be the grandmother who will collect pictures of her grandchild(ren) that she carries with her, the one who isn’t around much but always remembers to send birthday cards with the $50 bill in it and who spoils her grandchild(ren) with gifts.

Navigating Unspoken Grief: The Journey That Followed Losing My Lovely Mum

"Hello readers, I've just started a blog as a means of processing and documenting my little life. I must say I am I am terrified to share! But I know I must. Here's my introduction & any support, especially on my WordPress site would be thoroughly appreciated. All my love, E x"

It has been almost three years since my mother closed her eyes during her birthday celebrations and never woke up. I won’t disclose her age as, even though I struggle to completely believe that she is still ‘with us’ I entirely trust in her supernatural ability to smite me down. I am now twenty-five and find it very affronting to think about, let alone speak of her passing. My life, like most, has already been very crowded and intricately unique. It has been so eventful that I often feel immensely overwhelmed to remember everything, as who else will? Other than my beloved grandmother and younger brother, I don’t have much in the way of my immediate family. My mother was orphaned in her early twenties; my father left in a selfish, narcissistic flurry when I was eight; my paternal grandfather moved abroad, divorced and remarried, returning once in fifteen years. I find it easy to dismiss these departures in the sense that life happens, and people change, but I inevitably, and often at my lowest, find myself asking why wasn’t I enough to stay.

No one can ever, truly, understand the utter void that comes from losing a parent, unless they too have. Everyone can empathize and reference ill-equipped grief literature, but they can never grasp that empty feeling that the lovely, vibrant being that brought you into this existence is no longer. It’s specific, looming and often very, very inconvenient. I feel a particular bond among those who have experienced this loss. It does not manifest as gravitation towards parentless people but more of a passing respect. A level of understanding of the pain that they too have endured. It is an unnervingly refreshing feeling that the playing fields are levelled.

I consider myself privileged in the sense that I knew my mother was dying at a young age. It wasn’t a shock, I never imagined her at my wedding or holding her grandchildren. I knew, from around age 14, that one day it’ll be just my brother, the dog and I. My mother did not shy away from the topic of death, it was very casually referenced in both calm and heated conversations. Of course, nothing could have ever prepared us for her passing, but I appreciate the lengths she went to make us comfortable. It is due to this comfort that I don’t often process how different my life experiences have been from that of my peers. I place myself in the race, intensely mourning my failures without taking a step back to acknowledge that I am at a disadvantage. When I failed to ask a training-related question during an intense Zoom call in my first week of work, I felt the familiar weight of imposter syndrome, haunted by the perceived judgement of my inattentive colleagues. In that moment, I yearned to type a chat message that would shatter the silence: ‘I’m so sorry, everyone. I was terribly distracted. The funeral home just called. I need to select an outfit for my mother’s cremation. How on earth do you choose something like that? Do I include a bra? Who would want to be cremated wearing one?’ But, as we all know, such words can’t be sent, can they? It is these unspoken thoughts that have compelled me to write this blog, a therapeutic outlet for the words I wish I could have uttered, all the while paying homage to the remarkable woman who raised me.

I am also motivated by the fact that no one ever asks. I completely understand why. It is uncomfortable, and they would like to preserve my happiness as best they can. For that, I love and adore those around me. I do, however, often feel an immense emptiness following interactions where I am unable to acknowledge my grief. I am undoubtedly too concerned with what others think of me. Out of sheer avoidance of inconveniencing them, I often remain silent and allow the weight on my chest to burrow deeper. This leaves most of my relationships feeling shallow and insincere. I want to grab the metaphorical mic and scream about how lucky they are, how hard it’s been and about trivial things like how much my mum just absolutely loved prawns. She loved them so much. We’d have to stop at Iceland every Christmas to get a comically large frozen wheel of them. You should have seen her when our Greek all-inclusive had a shellfish night. She was so utterly happy it was the most radiant I’ve ever seen her. Most likely due to the sheer amount of Omega-3 coursing through her veins. Anyway, this blog is to be my mic. I need to face what happened with transparency and accountability whilst sharing the relentlessly hilarious experiences and coincidences that have occurred along the way.

While I am excited to embark on this journey, I must admit to feeling incredibly nervous about sharing it. To those who have read this far, I hold an immense appreciation that words alone cannot adequately express. Thank you.

A, B, D, H, I, M, Q, T, Y for the Eh to Zed asks :P

A - Advocate - How do they show their support for others? Are there any causes that they publicly support? Why?

Esme is very assertive and outspoken and uses both of those things to support everyone -and even strangers- as vehemently as she can. She isn't afraid to speak her mind and stick up for people. She's also very 'physical' in her support. Hugs, back rubs, arm and hand squeezes, just being a firm physical presence beside someone when she can. She publicly supports the country's politics, the Indigenous peoples (two of her closest friends and her 'adopted' mother as Indigenous and two of her children have Indigenous names), animal sanctuaries and rescues, and charities that help at risk women and children. She is at the root of things a socialist and believes people have the right to shelter, food, employment, medical care (among other things)

B - Boy/Girl - What is their gender? What’s their relationship with their gender? Has this changed over time? How does their gender identify relate to their gender expression?

Esme was born and identifies as female. She's very comfortable with her gender, but could also be considered fluid at times by society's standards. She's comfortable with what's considered female and what's considered male.

D - Director - How much do they feel the need to have control over their life? Do they spend a lot of time telling others what to do or and they more likely to be more obedient to others?

Esme is very strong willed and independent and will not be controlled. By anyone. She is the owner and operator of a bookstore so she obviously has to tell her employees what to do and how it should be done. She's also a mother of seven, so she has to have some kind of control over her large brood.

H - Hero - What makes someone a hero in their eyes? Who is their biggest hero in life? Why? Do they consider themselves to be heroic?

A hero to her is someone who is willing to put the needs and well being and safety of others over their own. Tyler is definitely her hero for many reasons. He was willing to sacrifice his life for hers (in Dhaka and on other occasions) and their children. But first and foremost, to her he's a hero because he does battle with his own mind and mental illness every day and still manages to have so much to give and still gives her and their kids a great life. He never gives up. Even when he desperately wants to.

I - Inventor - How creative is their thinking? Do they seek out the opinions of others or rely on their own ideas? What’s their problem solving approach?

Esme is a very creative person, but used to make decisions very impulsively. As she's gotten older and her marriage has strengthened, she and Tyler are very much a team when it comes to making those decisions and she runs her ideas by him as she often needs the reassurance that she's doing the right thing. And because she values his input and opinion.

M - Miracle Worker - Who or what do they consider to be a miracle? Do they believe in magic?

No. She doesn't believe in magic. But she considers all of her children miracles in one way or another. Millie because she was conceived during the craziness in Dhaka and both Esme and Tyler had come very close to dying. Tanner (one of her oldest twin boys) survived twin to twin transfusion syndrome. And the current baby she's carrying, will be a miracle because he survived a pretty shitty ordeal at the hands of her ex husband.

Q - Queen - What kind of leader are they? Are they entitled? What have they inherited from their parents? How powerful are they? Do they act superior towards others?

Esme is a confident leader, but not entitled or cocky. She values the input and opinions of everyone around her. She inherited her father's resiliency and compassion for others, but is incredibly different from her mother. Who definitely acts superior to others. Including her son in law (who she hates) and her grandchildren.

T - Teacher - How often do they have to teach others? How do they go about it? How do they learn best? Do they dive in first and reflect later or study the theory of something new before putting it into practice?

Other than helping her kids with homework and showing them how to care for the animals or helping in the garden, she doesn't really have to teach. She's very patient and calm. Esme learns best by reading or observing. And she's a researcher. Big time.

Y - Yes! - Do they believe in luck? What makes them feel lucky/grateful?

I'm not sure if she believes luck as a 'gimmick' but she feels very lucky and grateful to have the life she does. She and Tyler started out with nothing to offer each other and she stayed by him through the toughest and scariest of times. now they have an incredible life and a beautiful family and she's very grateful for all of that.

@tragiclyhip, @youflickedtooharddamnit, @secretaryunpaid, @munstysmind

Mr and Mrs Liars Chapter 11

Chapter 10 Attention: Mention of Alzheimer's disease. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------------   *Jake's POV*  I had to admit, she was good at picking out clothes. Even if it was with my money.  She keeps looking at himself in the small mirror of the car. Nervous.     "You're perfect, stop looking at yourself so much," I say, laughing, "Or do you have Narcissus syndrome?"     "I'm nervous," she says, closing the mirror. "By message it is easy to fool people, but are they going to believe it? Will they let us through?"     "If you speak, surely yes."     "As always, you are dedicated to observing."      I smile to be true. That was our method. We arrived at the residence. Fully guarded by a guard at the entrance. Its tall gates made it stand out from all the residences he had ever seen. It must have been a good family to leave him here.     "Name?" the gate guard asks us.     "Petra and Benjamin Braun." I says, and MC looks at me nervously for a few seconds.     "Okay, you're on today's list, you can come in."      They open the gate for us and I look at it.     "Petra and Benjamin?"     "Yes."     “They are very simple."     “Did you want another?" I smile at her.     "No, it's fine like this."     "I'll let you choose next time."      It's good for us this little break of being us before starting the investigation. We walk in and MC lets out a whistle when she sees how big the reception was. We approached to accredit our visit again.    "Names, please." the nurse tells us.    "Petra and Benjamin Braun," MC replies. "We are the grandchildren of Hugo Garner."    "Your grandchildren of his?" She looks at us suspiciously. "We didn't know Mr. Garner had any grandchildren."     Plan B mode.    "Actually, Petra is his granddaughter." I lean against the counter, whispering so the other people don't hear us. MC makes a sad face, playing a part "She'll see, her family doesn't know we're here, they never accepted her marrying me" the woman forms a perfect 'O' with her mouth, surprised "They didn't even tell  my poor wife that her grandfather was in a residence, they cut off all connection with us."    "My God, that's horrible." She looks at us with pity and MC takes my hand, pretending that she was nervous.   "Please, it's important that my mother doesn't know." MC looks at her with sad eyes. She could have been an actress "Just being here could already cause a big problem in the family."    "Of course," the nurse nods and immediately rings the phone, "wait a minute, I'm going to see where Mr. Garner is now."      "Thank you." We walked away a bit and sat on the big sofa across the street. MC tidies up a bit and I smile.    "You deserve an Oscar for your performance." I whispered in her ear, so no one could hear us.    "You'd be surprised how many times I've had to pretend to care what someone I interviewed said." she replies, with a small laugh.     We see how it seems that she argues on the phone and looks at us.MC starts to move her foot nervously and I take her hand squeezing it to calm her down.    "It's going to be fine." I whispered.    "Well, it doesn't look like it..."     The nurse signals us and we approach the counter.    "Mr. Garner's daughter has accepted the visit. I'm sorry, it's part of the protocol that we notify the taxpayer" We agree. A little mistake ", but you can't stay more than an hour. It's her orders” she tells us with a smile. MC looks at me surprised. She's surely going to want a big explanation. "Mr. Garner is in the rec room, just off the right hand side of the back hallway and then on the left hand side.     "Thank you very much." we say at the same time. As we walk, I notice how MC gives me almost murderous looks.     "So you investigated their lives?"     "As you can see, it helped us get in here."     "One thing is the name and quite another their lives."     "It was more believable if I told her everything," I shot her a sarcastic smile, "but does a journalist have to tell me that?"     "Touche."      I let out a small laugh and she nudges me. We look around for Hugo. Many of the seniors play cards, talk with relatives, and others watch an old cowboy movie on television.     "There." MC points to an old man sitting next to a large window, looking at the large patio full of plants.     We approach calmly, not seeming like we're desperate for information. Upon arrival, I make a sign to MC to call his attention. She nods and pats it, and slowly old Mr. Garner looks at us.    "Mr. Garner? My name is-"    "Maria!" We looked at each other as if we were reading each other's minds: Alzheimer's. I feel heavy in my chest, and from MC's expression, I see that she also "So glad to see you! Although not that you brought Bruno.” He looks me up and down with a bad face. "Then you say about your daughter's husband, but yours isn't that big of a deal either."     I watch as she stifles a small laugh, watching me out of the corner of her eye. I sigh, avoiding being annoyed, because in part, the poor man was not to blame for anything. Who knew what this Bruno had done.   "Actually, I'm not Maria." MC, not wanting to take advantage of the situation, sits in the opposite chair, with a pleasant smile "I have a few questions for you, Mr. Garner."    "Aren't you Maria? Bullshit! As if he doesn't know my own daughter, stops cracking jokes. "     I place a hand on MC's shoulder, squeezing it lovingly. It is not a pleasant situation, this disease is not something that can be overcome so easily. MC puts her hand in mine and looks at me. Compassionate.    "What do we do?" She asks me, with a broken voice "I don't see myself capable of lying to him..."    "We could just ask him questions and wait to see if he remembers anything," I answered, not really liking the idea of ​​lying to him either "We'll avoid going into details about who we are. Better not confuse him."    "Let's hope it works... "    "Even if it's a little bit of information, it will help us."     She nods with a long sigh.She looks back at Mr. Garner and smiles.    "Do you remember anything about case 712?” she asks him matter-of-factly.    “I remember… your first day of school,” he continues talking about his daughter "You wore your uniform very well pressed, your mother was worried that you would stain it playing, but it is part of being small." Hugo's eyes shine with love towards his daughter.     "It doesn't work…" MC sighs.     "We just started, don't be nervous." I calm her down.     "Okay." she takes a deep breath and tries to calm down, "Do you remember any events in December? Any special case?"     "Your uncle started teasing a reindeer one year when he was drunk," he settles back in his chair, beginning to laugh, "he ended up in the hospital with a goring on his butt!"      MC laughs with him listening to the anecdote.I can't help but watch her, creating a cozy atmosphere for that old man. A memory is unlocked in my mind when I see the scene. It's too familiar.     "And on a specific day? Like, for example, on December 7th? "     "Have you talked to your mother today? You know how she gets when you don't call her, she cares a lot."     This time she avoids getting nervous, because she understands. He is an old man, we cannot despair, but remain calm.     "Yes, I've…talked to her today." Her smile is sad, but it's steady. "She has asked me what we will do in December, you know, because Christmas is coming up."     "Always worrying about everything being perfect, that's what I liked the most about her," he rolls his eyes, although he doesn't seem angry "but don't tell her, because we always argue about it." he winks at her and we let out a small laughter.     "Excuse us for a moment" MC makes a sign with her hand and stands up taking my arm. We move away a little and she glances at him surreptitiously, then back at me.    “I don't think it's going to work,” she says, placing her hands on her hips, “and I don't want to force it either. ”    “Do you want us to leave it? ” I asked, seeing how worried she was about the situation.    “Yes, we said goodbye and looked for something else.”     I nod and we turn back to Mr. Garner.    “Well, it's time to go,” MC shakes his hand by way of farewell ”a pleasure to meet you-”    "Case 712..." he blurts out suddenly, staring off into space.     We look at each other and she holds her bag tightly against her body, sitting back down. I took a chair placing it next to MC.    “What do you remember about that case?” She asked, trying to sound as calm as possible, seeing that he had a moment of clarity.    “It seemed strange to me when they brought the clean corpse” he passes his eyes first over me and then back to MC ”just the wounds, but as far as I was concerned, I couldn't find any other person's DNA evidence. And he also had nothing that could identify where he might have been attacked. I had to go by the photos they gave me, but it was dirtier than when I was looking at it on the observation table. ”    “In the documents he wasn't part of the people who participated either,” MC tells him, listening attentively ”I only know that my father was handling the case.”     "Yes, true, when they also gave me the reports, they didn't put the names of the police officers." He passes a hand over his chin thoughtfully. ”The reports have to be officially signed, but there were none.”     MC looks at me terrified. Just like she said, his father participated, but her name wasn't on the list, he hadn't even signed anything. I think she's starting to get scared that he was involved in that case too.     "But I remember the name of a policeman who participated." He moves his hands nervously, almost excited. ” Peter Hammer. Yes, that's what it was called. He kept all of the man's belongings in the cold case area. ”      She heard her let out a long sigh and nodding her head.     "Yes, he was a friend of my father…" she says in a low voice, although I can hear her. "We have to have access to those belongings. "     "He's a policeman, I doubt he's going to let us see those objects so easily," I commented.     "Yes we can." She keeps her gaze focused on her thoughts and then looks at the old man "Thank you very much for your time Mr. Garner. "     "Thank you for the company, girl." he smiles at her and looks out the window again.      MC gets up quickly and I follow her.     "Let's see, what's going through your mind right now?" I ask as I get into the car, watching as she puts an address into the GPS.     "I have my parents' things in a rented warehouse," she answers as she writes. "We'll take my father's badge and you'll pose as a policeman, while I'll revert to the role of assistant."     "Stop, stop there" I take her hand away from it nervously "Me? Police? He is not going to sneak in and even less so with a plate that he is going to recognize. They have identification numbers."     "You just have to show it quick and done," she shrugs and I sigh in exasperation. "Besides, he'll be fine. That man has known me all my life, he will trust me."     "This will go wrong... "     "Nothing will happen, trust me."      She finishes putting the addressing the GPS and signals me to drive.  <<I trust you, but not him.>> *MC POV*  Since I don't have the key to the stores with me, I had to show the owner my card so he could open mine. With the fear that I am being followed, I felt uncomfortable.  I stare at all the boxes there were. In the past I had decided to donate some things, but… I couldn't. Maybe a few clothes, but… All this was still part of me.     "Jake, can you… can you look for the box for me?" I ask, while playing with the dress "I feel unable to search for his things…"     "Sure, does it have a labeled name?"     "Yes, each one has their name." At that moment, the mobile rings. "It's Phil."     "Go talk to him, I'm looking for him."     "Okay, thanks... "      I leave Jake with my parents' things and walk away so he doesn't hear the conversation.    "Hi, Phil," I reply, a little discouraged.     "Hello Princess," his voice sounds cheerful when he answers me, which makes me feel relieved to hear that he's okay, "Are you okay? You don't seem very happy that I called you."     "I've interviewed a former smuggler and… It hasn't been what I expected."     "Aren't they like the movies?” I laugh at his joking tone. "I'm relieved to at least hear that you're out of danger for now."    "It was a little hard at first talking to him," I admit, being honest while not telling the truth. "He was so old that I even felt sorry for him."    "It must have been a deep conversation."     It was not a deep conversation. Just the fear of what it must be like to lose your vivid memories.    “MC, I miss you,” he replies, his voice calm. "Your disappearance, your report… We did not say goodbye face to face. I just hope you reward me well."     "It was all very fast, I'm sorry.” It hurts a lot that he's worried, but it's better this way "Do you want me to reward you with a bag of drugs?" I joke "I'm sure I can make friends with a drug dealer."    "Sure, I'm sure they give it to you for free," he continues my joke. "I hope the guy taking care of you is doing well." I start to think about Jake and it's the only thing that occupies my mind, forgetting what happened in the nursing home and more because of what happened in that little moment in the room. But I had finally broken up with him for real. Nothing tied me to him anymore.     "Oh, don't worry, he does his job very well." *Jake POV*  As MC leaves to talk to Phil, I keep looking through the boxes with her father's name on them.In some, they are laminated items from the cases of it. He wasn't a bad cop. Of course, with the extra help of a great little MC at the time.      "Here it is." Reaching for the last box, I inadvertently hit another, knocking it over.      The box opens and all the contents spill out of it.I curse and bend down to pick it all up. If this is seen by MC, surely she will kill me.     "I think that's it." I get up with the box and tap an object on the floor with my foot.      I set the box down and bend down to pick it up.MC's mother's wedding ring. I turn around looking at it. I'm surprised she's not going to use it as a family heirloom.     "Have you found it?" I hear MC approaching and I get up quickly, putting the ring in my pocket.     "Yes, I'll put it down now." I walk over to the box and put it down.      MC walks over and opens it, rummaging through it. She takes out her father's wallet from it and looks at her running her fingers through it. Distracted.  I don't say anything, I let her look at it carefully.When she opens it, inside I can see the badge, along with the ID.     "We have to make you a fake one, you can't show up with yours." She looks at me, but this time she seems more serious. "Do you know how to make one?" I'm surprised she didn't joke about whether I was an expert.      I bite the inside of my cheek, remembering the different IDs that I have had to get for when they asked me to want to travel. I always changed from station to station, not trusting that when I arrived at my destination the police would wait for me because they suspected me.    "Yeah, I can make one." I reply, not wanting to ask what's going on. She is overstepping his morality by using something from a dead man. But not just any one. "I won't have it ready until tomorrow though. "     "Okay." She closes the box and puts the wallet in her bag, looking at me with bright eyes. "Meanwhile, I'll fill you in on Hammer and what I remember about that case."     "Okay," I watch as she tries to put the box back on the shelf and I giggle, "Do you need any help?"     "I can do it by myself." I look at her feet, which, despite wearing heels, don't make it and she has to stand on tiptoe.    "Sure, I wait." I lean against the frame of the warehouse. Smiling.      Seconds later, she looks over her shoulder at me and frowns.    "Okay, you win: I can't. Can you help me?"    "With pleasure."    I walk up behind her and take the box from her. I get nervous smelling her hair on her. One thing that hasn't changed is the shampoo. *MC POV*  I ask Jake for help with the damn box. Why did Dan think of putting it so high? He sure did it on purpose because he knows I wouldn't get to it.  Jake stands behind me and lifts the box. I can smell his cologne.  I bite my lip remembering another familiar scene. I grip a box tightly, digging my nails into it.     "It's done…" he whispers, lowering his arms slowly.      He walks slowly away from me and I take a deep breath, fixing my hair. I’m very hot. Maybe it's because of the warehouse. Yeah, that is. It's very hot here.     "Let's go home, there's a lot to talk about." I say quickly, backing away from him.      A moment ago I was talking to my fiancé and now it seems like I'm cheating on him with my ex.  Telling him that stupid thing about having to break up didn't work. I hope this is over soon so I can go back to my old life. Chapter 12 

im delirious i just had a GREAT idea this requires having terminal homestuck brain and also liking the idea of batman being fucked up in a funny way. putting this under a read more bc i want u to choose to ruin ur day

ok so like are your familiar with spicyyetis davekat halloween special? well i hope you are now.

ok now are u familiar with bruce wayne? are you familiar of his habit of accidentally acquiring kids left and right and also his perfect mental health?

ok now are you seeing what im seeing

im thinkiong like years in the future like im p sure there was a panel of bruce telling stories to one of his grandchildren like it was very cute right hand on im pulling up the panel

Batman Lost #1 a tie in for dark knights metal

do you see that those are kids , little children running around the manor with an old man bruce just chilling in his murder mystery office, this is the best thing i have ever seen.

so like ideally bruce would have a very happy life retired and with all the rest of the bats taking over in crime fighting n shit and his sons and daughters however many he gets are gonna fill the place with kids eventually bc picking up strays is like, a bat requirement u know, however, im not thinking in a positive way or even a coherent way.

back to YM&O did u see old man dave hoarding kids in a very lonely mansion bc of his fear that the kids are one day gonna be the nly thing that will remind him of the loev of his life or whatever yeah you see where im goin with this.

like i can see it perfectly in my minds eye bruce trying to cope with yknow life and stuff n finally accepting that hes not a one man show and maybe as he gets older hes like alright i gotta, take care of myself? and no matter how much my kids may hate me at times and try to shot me i know they love me and they would be Very Sad if they had to bury me, like , again i mean and so hes like well now im old and trying out this taking care of myself now what and hes like oh i know ill take care of the kids and then at the start dick is like weird but ok better late than never!!! i guess!! but oh wait actuyally sorry old man i cant hang out but u can hang out with timmy and damian ok bye have fun and at this point evryone is like almost thirty and are like trying to subtly get away from bruce bc they were raised independently and also theyre grownups damnit (cass is a treasure so she hangs out but also she knows whats up its chill) and then it expands to the other kids like he starts trying to act as this doting old fatherly figure (hes goin senile its what is HAPPENING) and its not until dick is like haha have u heard jason just got kids following him around thats cute and bruce is like YES THATS IT like he gets hardcore empty nest syndrome except the nest was always kinda full u know? thi pile of leaves and bird shit is gonna overflow,anyway like a few months later dick comes back and theres Horrors tm in Manor bc bruce definition of kid isnt constrained by like, species,(do you think jarro would want more siblings?)

so like the house is packed with kids, all sorts of kids, some arent even kids, some are straight up science experiments and bruce is like I Love My Family :) alfred has been dead for over 30 years and yet bruce finds the way to drag his ghost back to the house so they can coo at the kids together (alfred look at my new daughter isnt she cute yes master bruces shes quite charming what will all the eyes, yes youre right she is) jarro is having fun having siblings but he still tries to win bruces attention , cass is almost encouraging bruce to get more kids (i want a new sister) tim and damian are scared but in different ways jason went there once and said Not My problem (hes also scared) barbara doesnt know the extent of the problem and is just amused the titrans know and dick is the last to know (but only bc i find it funny) if u ask what about duke i dont wanna inflict this hell on him he scaped early amen also the justice league either enables him or is subtly trying to stop him (it is. not working)

Quarantined Turf War

This is an idea I’ve had for several months now-like what if, due to a ‘certain world crises that is going on in real life’ the Turf War has to take place on a video chat? I haven’t written anything of this idea yet as I have no real plot to this one-shot, but here are some highlights I have so far:

- Ten gets hit in the head by a roll of toilet paper (thrown by one of her fellow foxes).

- Gosha is entranced by the filters/icon edits(?) and ends up having a donut with his face on it as his video icon and can’t figure out how to fix it.

- The Shishigumi are all drunk/high and Melon has to be the voice of reason (which he hates!) and I quote: “Why the flying f*ck would you do that??!!” (yelled/asked when Free comes to him with a very bizarre problem)

- On that note, Sabu and Jinma decide they want to watch a horror movie/Game of Thrones (thought up because my sister and dad have been watching that a lot lately) and Agata is too scared to watch it so he goes crying to Melon. 

quotes:

“You know how sensitve he is! Watch something else!”

“I thought you didn’t care, Boss!”

“I don’t! But Agata’s annoying whining becomes my problem! Now change the damn channel”

- On the same note, Dolph comes up with a new nicknmae for Melon! Much to his annoyance: “Mello!...Yellow Mello!...Jello Mello!...Yellow jello Mello! Mello-lo-jello-yellow-Mellomellomellomello!”

- And also, Miguel takes Hino’s enchilada-Melon has to yell: “GIVE HIM THE ENCHILADA!”

- Yahya is high voiced due to a helium tank breaking in the air vents of the police building. He later throws his laptop out the window in a fit of rage. 

- A video of Oguma dancing is found (he is either dancing to Gangman style or doing the dance from the Take on Me videos on YouTube) and Louis is both embaressed and shocked at how well his father can dance. 

- A debate as to how one could overdose on Laxitives and if one’s colon could explode if that happens (instead of dying). 

- (not as sure about this one but) Yahya’s mother somehow finds the chat and joins it to harass Yahya for never marrying or giving her grandchildren before calling Gosha a talking donut and Melon a half pizza face (or just insulting Melon and Legosi as hybrids) while Yahya’s father does something stupid in the background while naked (this would likely be why Yahya throws his laptop out the window).

- On that note, Yahya’s mother thinks Gosha and Yahya are ‘back together’-she’s fine with it, but only if they swore they’d adopt horse children (she just wants Yahya to get married and have kids, she doesn’t care who he marries or how he has kids)-uncomfortable and awkward silence follows.

- One of Legosi’s neighbor’s has a loud and very weird phone conversation outside of his door and everyone can hear it. Whatever it is, it leaves them speechless. Also, his (new) pet beetle crawls over the webcam, freaking out/startling everyone else. 

- Two of Savon’s fellow Komodo dragons get into a heated argument, causing him to intervene. It’s what they were arguing about thats baffling.

This would be a parody of the 180′s and 190′s chapters (though some characters/chapters would not appear/be mentioned in it (glaring at chapter 181 and Melon’s father) and would be, basically, be about Beastars characters in quarentine (COVID would not be mentioned in the fic-except as ‘this virus’ and the fic is not at all meant to make fun of COVID or anyone effected by it-this is just a ‘life in quarentine’ take on the Turf War).

All characters belong to Beastars (Except for Yahya’s parents, I made them up!)

Quarantined Turf War is (c) Me

Hi it’s me! Can I request a platonic madrigal family with a reader who has a power of super regeneration. The reader can regenerate cuts to even regenerate from decapitation. As long as a part of the reader’s body is still there, then it will form the rest of the readers body until it is fully healed. I imagine the reader having bags from the amounts of times she has technically died. Thanks for all your hard work. Also happy almost Martin Luther king day!

Note: I'm afraid I'm not going to write about Antonio anymore it makes me a little uncomfortable and it's hard for me to think about what he might do because he's still so young so I hope you're okay with that

Note: I based this reader of Mai misaki

TW OBSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STALKING POSSESSIVE BEHAVIOR STOCKHOLM SYNDROME MANIPULATION ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR

❤ Abuela  knew that you were very aloof she knew that exactly what could happen to you you were impaled you survived your arm got chopped off it grew back with it help you would get some stars on the way you were annoyed most the time but mostly very Aloof you didn't show your emotions she never sent you to do anything because she cared about you so much she would mostly make sure her children or her grandchildren would be watching you constantly that you would somehow always get injured

💙Julieta and agustín are the most overprotective people that you'll ever meet you get a slight cut on your finger immediate food in your mouth need a smile you dad will play you a song they would do anything to make you happy and not see you injured so it is very shocking to see what would happen when you come in and you have no arm it takes a few days to completely grow back like a lizard otherwise you are babied completely by them

💙 Isabela  is one of the most concerned for you she would mostly rap you and Vines so you would never get out but you somehow always got out and you would always end up getting injured one time you even came back with one of your legs missing she was one of the first people to panic

💙lusia  is the one will pick you up and bring you around anywhere and everywhere because you are very easy to just get to do whatever you want she personally likes to bring you and her room and cuddle you like a stuffed animal because of that you are often with her a lot she needs a lot of reassurance and you give it to her even though you don't really talk much

💙Maribel  is the one that will stitch up your wounds even though your skin immediately seals up she's still very concerned sometimes you even have stitched up wounds because of it but the stitches do melt into your skin and they become a permanent attachment she realized it and Stitch In The Family Madrigal in you arm she absolutely loves it and loves you

💛Pepa and Fèlix  they are the most overprotective aunt and uncle whenever you come to see them and you obviously had your arm missing because of the scarring the immediately go into your staying with us for a few days so you obviously can be taken care of they will feed you hold you basically treated like a baby

💛 Dolores can you hear your injuries from a mile away especially the blood she doesn't like a tall you are very injury-prone because of all the the scarring on your body so we can't really do anything especially her she's the most sad whenever you come home with an injury

💛 Camilo it's probably the most unhappy about it you are very much a favorite to him you're his favorite cousin so you can't really do much he will be constantly follow you around whenever you have someone that you like around he will transform into that person's parents and quickly get them away and started Walking casually again he's probably the most overprotective when it comes to you because you get injured easily and even though you can regenerate it still hurts him

💚 Bruno  you make sure he has a Future Vision that make sure you are completely okay from that day on even watches you sleep just in case you might get injured in your sleep you very much I hate it whenever he watches usually but you can't really do much you mostly just get annoyed and roll your eyes he smiles wider whenever you wake up and don't make a nasty comment

People hate Natsuo for being mad at Endeavor? If it's justified for other characters to resent Endeavor and they're not annoying for hating him, why is Natsuo annoying all of a sudden? Like that person said, he's actually trying to avoid him and even if he was hostile and extremely angry, he has every right to do so.

I didn’t even realize who it was when I rbed but it’s the same endev stan I complained about a few weeks ago. Her views are noxious and extreme and she’s very socially conservative clearly so I just don’t even think this view is more than a few fringe people including her. I rather not even waste time on her anymore, I’m just going to hope she never has kids tbh.  As to Natsuo, let’s talk about how complex his situation is. Out of all the representations of abuse and how to deal with it, Natsuo is in my opinion, one of the most common ways abuse gets dealt with. He’s the no contact (or trying to be) option, and surprise surprise - when dealing with abusive parents, that’s one of the most common and recommended options. Natsuo’s attempts at going NC are unsuccessful, of course, but that’s important because NC is very, very hard, especially in cultures that put large emphasis on familial bonds and filial piety. Additionally, according to how Japanese families traditionally have worked, both in the ie system and koseki system, Natsuo has far more pressure than Fuyumi or Shouto. Let me explain: While we have a concept of Eldest Daughter syndrome, and to some extent that has played out in the Todoroki family with Fuyumi being the one delegated feeding the family when the maid retired and Rei was institutionalized, this view misses the important factor that Eldest sons play in families. As in, the person who inherits the household (and the family as an institution itself) and the duty of taking care of the elderly parents as they age is the Eldest son, traditionally. If there is no son, then that duty falls to the Eldest Daughter’s husband (Nao Shimura’s parents an example of the son-in-law doing as tradition expects and inviting the elderly parents to live with them). In much of the world, the nuclear family is a very recent thing only really dating back to the 1950s, and isn’t as common as portrayed in media, especially Western Anglo media. While it’s debatable of how much of this is a good thing due to elder abuse, the vast majority of elderly Japanese people live in multi-generational residences, still with their children and grandchildren. So, what does this mean? One, Touya would have grown up with the societal pressure of being the Eldest son. Meaning his need to be acknowledged by his father wasn’t just due to his father being a hero and being surrounded by it: it was also the expectation that above all the children, the Todoroki ‘Family’ would be his to continue and lead one day. That when Enji and Rei were older, it would be on his shoulders to take care of them and lead the “family”. This would require a separate discussion but I don’t think we can discuss Touya and Enji without also looking into Japanese masculinity and fatherhood, at least not holistically.   Natsuo likely got that role when Touya died. In the back of his head, even with the clear preference for Shouto Enji shows, there must have been some sort of understanding that Endeavor could very much choose Natsuo to inherit that aspect. And if not, it’s still likely Rei would have ended up Natsuo’s responsibility. Enji is typically a traditionalist, or at least is portrayed to be. However, I do think the step of building another house was important in terms of family dynamic. It was, in my view, Enji taking himself out of the equation. Acknowledging that whoever bears the Torodoki mantle, they won’t have to deal with Enji himself. If I can give Enji props, it’ll be in that one thing; I read his actions as him reaffirming that regardless of primogeniture, not one of the children will be expected to take care of their abuser until his death.  So, back to talking about no-contact. Natsuo, amidst societal and sibling pressure, has to walk the fine line of wanting to be in contact with siblings (one who is, sorry to say, enabling in terms of contact, and the other who is still a dependent minor) and not wanting contact with Enji. He’s in the tough place of having to be around an abuser who he doesn’t want to be in contact with because the people he

loves are around him. Of course that would cause frustration! If Natsuo’s way of dealing with his anger and trauma is to distance, not being able to do so means there’s no way for him to process it. So, yeah, I think we really should cut Natsuo some slack. Or a lot of it. He’s broken down over how much pressure he feels to have to forgive and let Enji back into his life by just being around Shouto and Fuyumi, and feels guilty over the fact he can’t let it go. But we have to acknowledge that means Natsuo hasn’t been able to process the way he wants to. He can’t heal without distance, but at the moment, he can’t get the distance he wants. And even then, dealing with abuse takes years. Natsuo has been in school for a year or two - he’s barely had time away from the family. And no contact, again, is very common as a tactic. I’ve had a therapist express surprise that I am not attempting NC as it’s what he recommended in cases like mine. Search reddit boards focusing on toxic/abusive parenting and there’s constant discussions of going NC. I genuinely am surprised someone can look at Natsuo and think he’s strange or odd or annoying for what I see as an extremely common reaction. But having that view of him requires not having sympathy for survivors, so, really, it’s hard to understand the views of someone that heartless. I wouldn’t bother to try and get them either. 

An essay I started writing a couple of years ago - references available on request. (Unedited! :-))

Modern Slavery

Do a search online, I recommend the Sydney Morning Herald. 107 pages of entries about slaves and slavery, just in the accessible pages of one online newspaper. The estimated number of slaves in the world today equals the population of Australia. And yet, people still look at me funny when I talk about modern slavery, they doubt that it exists, they think I am exaggerating. I’m not.

I won’t lie, I got interested in modern slavery for a pretty pathetic reason. I was playing a video game called Dragon Age 2, and one of the characters is a slave on the run from his master. The character’s modes of speech and behaviour reflect a person who has been badly abused, and is trying to come to terms with being a free person when he has never known freedom or how to survive as a man with choices, and the ability to choose his own life path.

I became intrigued by the way that slavery could affect a person psychologically, and started by looking into that. There is a psychological syndrome called Post Traumatic Slavery Syndrome, suffered by people who have been slaves, and then been freed. It is one of the few psychological conditions which can have an effect through generations. It’s estimated that the grandchildren of an ex-slave will suffer from this syndrome. That’s three generations, whose normal behaviour and activity are changed to their detriment, because one of them suffered as a slave.

Having done someresearch, I found out more and more about slavery today. It seemed incredible that such a massive number of people could be suffering from slavery today – surely not in my country, I thought. Surely not in our towns and cities. I was wrong. In Melbourne, three years ago, a woman was held as a slave in a hotel for five weeks. She was raped, made to bark like a dog, beaten, and her captor carved marks into her forehead, saying that she belonged to him forever. He was finally sentenced in July this year. Although five weeks may not seem a long time to be affected by slavery, consider the ramifications for the victim. To have suffered over a month of violent rape and absence of freedom, without hope of being released is bad enough. To have your captor’s marks literally carved into your flesh and be told that you are a thing, an object, no longer a person with wants and needs or your own is bad enough. To have to face that in the mirror every day for the rest of your life is devastating.

This is far from the only case. Last year a couple in Brisbane illegally adopted a child for the express purpose of keeping the child as a sex slave and using them for child pornography. The child was found and freed, but it could just as easily not have been, trapped in a life of debauchery and imprisonment for life.

Australia is a receiver country for slaves, and it’s not just women and children who suffer. That’s the next thing I hear after the initial disbelief – people assume that it’s only women, or just women and children. People assume that modern slavery is all about the sex trade. While not disregarded by aid agencies and government institutions, even in Australia’s latest additions to their Anti Human Trafficking laws, updated just this year, there is a specific focus on helping women and children. Men are affected by slavery too – in fact a larger percentage of slaves around the world are men. Slavery devastates all kinds of people, from all kinds of backgrounds.

Many times men do suffer a different type of slavery, but no less damaging, no less humiliating, and they are in no less need of assistance to gain their freedom. In India for example, there is a large amount of debt-bondage. The slave owners tend to be well-off men, leaders in their communities and well-respected. They don’t see themselves as slave owners – they believe that they are helping the people whom they take into bondage.

It works like this: a poor family has a medical crisis, or other event which they desperately need money for. The man of the family approaches the slave owner for a loan. Certainly, he is told, just sign here. And he does. To save his wife, his child, his friend, he signs himself into debt bondage. It doesn’t end there. His family, destitute as they now are, are taken in by the slave owner. They are all made to work for the minimum food and water to keep them alive. The amount that they are paid is too small to cover the cost of their debt and the food and rent for their families. In this way, the debt keeps increasing, and one man’s desperate decision turns into generations of debt-bondage which the family will never escape from. Generations of this family will be born and die in slavery to a man who, if he had the will, could free them, could help them out of debt, could be the well-respected business leader that he professes to be. Instead he chooses to be a slaver.

Slavery is happening on every continent except Antartica. It’s happening here in Australia, it’s happening now, and it needs to stop. Slavery internationally is a bigger business than it has ever been in the past. There are more female slave masters than men, making it one of few business types around the world where female bosses outnumber male.

“People who are without names, who do not know themselves, who have no culture, experience a kind of paralysis of consciousness. The first step is to connect and learn to trust one another.” [(Rowbotham, 1993, p. 94) 1973]

This is one of the most difficult issues surrounding the freeing of slaves. Where NGO’s are working in Australia to assist in freeing and rehabilitating those who have been affected by slavery, they must follow strict (and sensible) government guidelines.

One of these includes that the slave must be fully informed of the help available to them, and that they must consent before being given assistance. This is important; anyone, but particularly one who has been enslaved must have the right to give consent, taking this away from them is simply another form of abuse. The bigger issue here is that someone who has suffered slavery long term, especially where it has been since birth or childhood, is absolutely unable to cope if freed and not given support. However, the slave, knowing only complete dependence on a person who, despite whatever abuses they might heap on the slave also supplies for their needs, is often afraid to leave their master.

In many cases, also, the slave is suffering from a condition called psychological slavery, where their self-esteem, confidence, and independence have been damaged dramatically, and they believe it when told that they are unable to live without their master. Often they believe that their masters love and care for them, and believe that they are submitting of their own free will – this psychological condition doesn’t affect only slaves but also people in situations of domestic abuse. In addition, if a slave does consent to being freed and assisted, there are limits on what assistance may be legally given, and issues with visas 90for those who have been brought into the country illegally, or are without citizenship.

In Australia, the newly updated Anti-Human-Trafficking laws allow for a 45 day visa to be granted to a freed victim. After that period of time has elapsed, the victim will be returned to their country of origin, unless they have information which the Australian authorities can use to convict traffickers. This leaves the freed slave, and the NGO assisting them in the difficult position of attempting rehabilitation in less than two months. Of course, this is impossible. Rehabilitation from slavery can take a lifetime. Penalising slaves because they don’t have details about the people who trafficked them, or the people who were their masters seems an unnecessary cruelty, as is returning them to their country of origin if they risk being returned to slavery once there.

Talking about Encanto - Luisa

Ah, Luisa. Strong, kind, beautiful Luisa. For someone with a song of her own, we unfortunately don't learn all that much about her, but I get it; this is an ensemble movie.

But thanks to whoever fought for her look - and what a chance to shit on Disney's dumbass senior level because apparently they weren’t on board with a buff lady. Seems they argued for giving Luisa a more delicate build? (Or was it that they didn't want the superstrong character to be a woman at all? Whatever.) Fuck that noise; is it 1950 still? Luisa as we got her is awesome. (Not regarding the German dub which did her a real disservice for the singing part because we got a very unnaturally sounding, guttural growl from someone who tries to sing vocal fry and is obviously not used to it? Hm, gotta listen through a few more versions about that. Back to body diversity.) And, like, they still let her keep her natural body fat. As in, she still has a bit of a round face, and she's not skinny. For broad shoulders and huge bulking arms, she's not absurdly V-shaped. I'm a little surprised that Camilo is a big eater and she isn't; she's gotta have a massive energy turnover. Also, for all the muscle and mass, she's still undeniably feminine, dancing with swinging hips and in skirts and a blouse with embroidery, a hair ribbon and earrings, which... I wanna thank the people responsible. Thank you for looking at all the stereotypes and going, "eh, not for us", and hanging a big fucking lampshade on Luisa herself not being capable of fitting into the stereotype drafted up for her in-universe.

Not that she doesn't try, because Luisa is a helper syndrome plus big sister syndrome incarnate. "I'm on it! I'm on it!" What a fucked-up catchphrase to develop. A shame an older sister and caring, loving parents didn't keep her from manifesting that, but what can you do when your personality gets hammered down in steel at age five. That magic has a serious design flaw, and it kind of seems Abuela takes to reducing her children and grandchildren in her mind to that one single role to fit perfectly - which they pick up from her, which the entire town picks up from her. Not only is Luisa incapable of identifying herself over anything else than her servitude to others, the people around completely buy into that.

The donkey thing pisses me off. Are you telling me that Luisa needs to do this? That people without magical powers can't herd their livestock? Or that this idiot has any right to nag Luisa about them? If you can't take care of donkeys, maybe don't keep donkeys, asshole! What, is Luisa the town's all-around slave? And has she been since the age of five? How nice of Abuela to freely give her kids and grandkids away for work instead of using her authority to keep a balanced schedule so that 1st, the family doesn't break down (which it does), and 2nd, the townsfolk keep some sense of self-sufficiency (which they don't). For all the praise Isabela gets, Luisa is the one we see doing the hardest work, and she's working all the time. Wonder she took so long to break down.

The other thing about Luisa is that, at age nineteen, she has zero idea how to handle negative emotions. I don't wanna call her immature seeing what she's loaded with, but as soon as something goes wrong, she breaks down blubbering and calling herself a loser like a little child. She really has hammered it so deeply into her brain that she just has to be up for and happy to work at all times. At nineteen years, one should have learned that nobody can be in top form at all times. But as things are, Luisa puts herself up to entirely different standards than anyone else around and winds up a burn-out candidate. A little bit thanks to Abuela, although I blame the town more than her. Lazy fucks.

But actually, I'd really enjoy Luisa getting an opportunity to explore her own personality outside of expectations, like Isabela did. Because what we know of her? Makes me love her all the more. She's that big, sensitive cuddler who never even wants to raise her voice against her sister but is totally in for hugs (I was a bit baffled to see cosplayers who make angry eyebrows a part of their Luisa costume - aside from her "I'm so strong, I can handle this" routine throughout Surface Pressure, does she ever look not like a cutiepie?), and she manages to do a bit of emotional opening-up (shame that it's disallowed instantly) and doesn't disregard her sister's perceptions. She's a helpful softie; that's her weakness, but it could make for a strength if people would stop seeing her exclusively as a workforce. (How is labor law in isolated Colombian towns?) There might also be a bit of an interest in history and mythology, looking at the motives used through her song. As for personal interactions, I'd like to see more of her with her parents, especially with Agustín, because he ran after her trying to comfort her when she was crying, so I think of her as a daddy's girl. (She's so huge and her father is a skinny little beanstalk. Someone draw me a hug.) And also, while her interactions with Isabela are limited, they are definitely on their way to better communication by the end of the movie, sharing their worries and supporting each other. Bless Mirabel Madrigal, the only one in this family who hasn't unlearned to talk to people.

That said, I really like the fandom's take of Luisa showing up behind one of her family members who gets in trouble with someone and just looking like a menace to make clear her family is off-limits. Don't touch these. She'll rip you apart. (Okay, she won't, but she could.)

As for the shipping - yeah, I get all the girl crushes on her. Like, obviously. Gotta admit, in-universe, I lowkey would want to see her with a man (if at all), just for the sake of shitting on the stereotype that a woman who has masculine attributes just has to be a lesbian. How about a guy approximately the build of Mariano, who'd be considered a hunk in his own right - and then he stands next to Luisa and is just... this dainty little figure who looks up to her with big shiny adoring eyes and is like: "My girlfriend is the most beautiful lady in town", and he doesn't understand why anyone would be intimidated to approach her because - she's just so sweet.

Anyway. Luisa. More of her in future Encanto productions, please? There's character potential in that lady.

Children’s Encounters with the Unknown

Are Children more attuned to the supernatural?

Many researchers suspect that children, from the youngest ages and into early teens, are more likely to experience paranormal phenomena because they have not yet developed the prejudices that many adults have against such far-out, “unscientific” ideas. Perhaps they have not yet created their own filters for feelings and experiences that most of society consider irrational or abnormal. Or it could be that young brains or minds are, for whatever reason, physically more receptive to such phenomena as ghosts, near-death experiences, past-life recall and premonitions.

Whatever the reason, here are several true stories from readers that seem to confirm that children can be extraordinarily tuned in to the strange and the unexplained:

THE MYSTERY MAN

Years ago while in my teens, my mom took me with her to pick up one of her elderly friends to give her a ride to our church. We weren’t going that night, but my mom was always helpful to the senior citizens at our church. When we got to my mom’s friend’s house, mom asked me to go to the door to tell her that we were outside waiting on her.

I rang the doorbell and the elderly lady opened the door, said “hello” and left me standing in the doorway for a few minutes while she finished getting ready. The couch in the elderly lady’s living room was partially shielded by the door, but I could see a man sitting on her couch in front of her TV, which was turned on.

He never moved or spoke to me as I stood there. I was very shy and didn’t attempt to speak to him either. I distinctly remember he had on a white shirt, black pinstriped pants, black nylon socks and shiny black shoes. His hands rested on his knees. I remember that his hand was wrinkled and appeared to be that of an elderly, very dark, African-American man, but I was positioned in a way that I could not see his face.

After a few minutes, the elderly lady grabbed her coat and walked out the door locking it behind her. She left the man sitting on her couch watching television, but she hadn’t said anything to him when she left. I thought that it was rather strange, but said nothing about it to her.

After we dropped the elderly lady off at church, I said, “Mom, Mrs. McClain left a man in her house, but she didn’t say bye to him when we left.” I also told her that he was sitting on her couch in front of the TV. She asked me what he looked like because Mrs. McClain’s landlord came to visit her from time to time. I described what I saw to my mom, but told her that I didn’t see his face. My mom said that the description that I gave did not match that of her landlord, because he was a very pale-skinned man.

My mom was very concerned, so she called Mrs. McClain at church and, in order not to alarm her, asked, “Did you have some company? My daughter said that you left your TV on.” Mrs. McClain told mom she didn’t have any company that day and that she leaves her TV on whenever she goes out because she wants people to think that someone is home, so that no one will break in.

Hearing this really frightened my mom, and I guess the elderly lady could hear the fright in my mom’s voice and she started screaming out, asking my Mom, “What did your daughter see?

Please tell me, what did your daughter see? You are scaring me. I can’t go back there. What did she see?” I remember my mom having to talk to her for quite awhile to calm her down. My mom finally convinced her that we were just wondering why she had left the television on.

When my mom finally got off of the phone, we were both very shaken. I was crying and extremely afraid that I would see this man again because at this point we knew it had to be a ghost. I kept repeating, “I am so glad that I didn’t try to see his face.” My mom comforted me by saying that it was probably Mrs. McClain’s husband, who had passed away, watching out for her because she was all alone. I never saw the man again and we never told Mrs. McClain what I had really seen that evening in her house. — H. Holmes

WHAT DID BABY BROTHER SEE?

When my little brother was a baby, maybe nine months old, we lived with my grandma. My grandpa had just died. My mom was sitting in the living room around midnight trying to get my brother to sleep, but he wouldn’t stop crying. Suddenly, out of nowhere he stopped crying, sat straight up and said, “Hi, grandpa.” There was no one else in the room at all. The weird thing is, he said those words so clearly, and he had never spoken before, not even to say “mom”! — Beth B.

ANDY PANDY COMES TO PLAY

Many of your UK readers between the ages of 45 and 55 will probably remember a TV show called Watch with Mother. The show was on the BBC in the 1950s and featured a string puppet named “Andy Pandy”, and he had a sidekick named “Loopy Lou or Looby Lou”.

One day my brother and sister where playing upstairs in our front bedroom. This room was about 12 ft. x 12 ft. and had a cupboard in the corner, which was directly over the stairs. My sister and brother, both now in their late 40s, swear to this day that Andy Pandy came out of that cupboard in the corner and spent the next hour playing with them both. This Andy Pandy, however, was about four feet high and had no strings attached. I have questioned both of them over the years and still their story remains the same. – Mike C.

SHADOW PEOPLE ENCOUNTERS

When I was seven years old, one weekend I planned to stay up late downstairs playing video games and then sleep on the pull-out bed. I was preparing to go to bed when, for some reason, I got the impression that something was watching me. I got scared enough to run back upstairs, and while I was running, I could see very short (no larger than two feet tall) and squat figures darting after me. They were very indistinct in features, and appeared as nothing more than inky-black silhouettes.

Also, when my aunt was young, she was sleeping over at a friend’s house at the end of the street when she said that a “shadow man” appeared at the foot of the bed and began to call out her friend’s name. She screamed and said that it disappeared into the floor.

ACCIDENT PREMONITION

My mother’s family (parents and siblings) lived in Binghamton, New York. My dad was in the Navy and my parents, my sister and I lived in Patuxent River, Maryland. I was six years old at the time. Even though we lived in Maryland, I knew most of my mother’s family because we would visit them quite often in Binghamton, and during the summer they all came to visit us. At the time, my cousin, Marylou, who lived in Binghamton, was 11 years old.

I got home from school one day and asked my mother why Marylou was crying. She didn’t understand what I was talking about.

I told her that I heard her crying. She was quite puzzled by my statement and had no explanation. Within a few hours, the phone rang. It was my grandmother calling to say that my cousin had been hit by a car walking home from school — about the same time I told my mother I could hear her crying. I have had a few other premonitions, but this is the one I remember most. — Nancy T.

CHANTING MEN IN WHITE

I was 13 and it was quite some time after my little brother had passed away. I had wanted to be with him because I thought it would be better with him than at home. One night I was sleeping in my bed and I had felt this warm sensation. I saw this large hand come on my legs. It was so warm I had to wake up. To my surprise, there were some men standing around my bed, which was up against the wall. They were dressed in white and chanting in some language I never heard. One looked at me and then they all did and stopped chanting. Then, all in a single file, they walked out of the room.

I crawled to the end of my bed and peeked out the door to the living room. There we had a dim light on. They were gone. I was a little scared and crawled under the covers and started to pray. Then my other brother asked me if I was awake. I said yes. He asked me to come to his room. I said, “No way. You come.” But I did manage to get to his room, just to find out that my brother had gone through the exact same thing as I did. We were both scared. — Ruby

THE IMAGINARY FRIEND

When my cousin was little, she would always say that she was visited by “a friend.” My family thought this was an imaginary friend.

One day while looking through a photo album, my cousin saw a picture of her grandfather who had died only a few years before she was born. She had never seen this picture before. She said that the man in the picture (her grandfather) was the friend who visited her regularly. This is interesting because my grandfather adored his grandchildren, and I could envision him wanting to meet the one who was born after he died. — Dennis and Heather S.

SHIRLEY SAVES HER BROTHER

My mom told me this story, and she still cries when she tells it. It has never been explained. My sister, Shirley (the firstborn), died of Down Syndrome at the age of two in 1961. She had holes in her heart. Almost two years later, my mother had a baby boy, my brother, Steven.

One day in 1962, my mom was up in the attic doing some work, and my dad was in the basement in his workshop.

Steven (age one) was supposedly napping in a playpen in the den. My mom heard, clear as day, Shirley’s voice saying, “Dadda! Dadda!” … and it was as though she were right there next to her in the attic. Clear as day. My dad heard the SAME THING down in his workshop. “Dadda! Dadda!” They both say it was distinctly Shirley’s voice — loud and clear.

Dad ran up to tell mom; mom ran to tell dad. They both ran into the den, and there was baby Steven with plastic dry cleaner’s sheeting that he had reached for on the couch — and he was suffocating! Mom and dad both told us later on that it could not have been Steven calling them; he called my dad, “daddy” not “dadda,” and it was not his voice. They are convinced to this day that it was Shirley warning them that her brother was suffocating. — Donna B.

PDF - Pipes 

1 - Marks Upbringing 

When I first read the story Pipes I really resonated with and liked the main character. I felt he was someone who had been overlooked and underestimated for being slightly different. He had a life that others viewed as simple but that didn't at all make it any less meaningful or important. He didn't see the bad in people or see what was ‘wrong’ with them like others did. Others also saw what was, in their opinion, wrong with him. He was born and grew in in Dudley, and was from a woking class family. He is close with his mam but his relationship with his dad is difficult, he see’s him as not independent or ‘man’ enough. His mam is quite protective of him and he still lives at home. He doesn't have many friends, his mam being his closest friend but he does talk with the other guys at work in the pipe factory (though they do pick on him a little, not exactly great friends). He is nostalgic of his childhood when things were simpler, people didn't view him as behind or different. 

2-3  - Mark 

I struggled coming up with a name but Mark for some reason just stuck with me. Mark likely has Aspergers Syndrome (though not diagnosed) He likes plain and safe food choices that remind him of being younger, going to the seaside and paddling/swimming in the sea and he dislikes uncomfortable and itchy clothes and maths. He finds the seaside calming, its open and vast. He works in the Pipes factory near his house and takes pride in his work, he likes being good at specific things and perfecting what he is passionate about. He also likes the shapes of pipes, you can look inside them and see cool dots of lights at the end, they make an interesting noise and you can shape them however you want if you have the skills to do so. 

4-5 - Modelling and Colour Palette 

I really enjoyed modelling Mark, I was actually surprised by it because I thought I would find 3D modelling incredibly difficult and tedious. It wasn't at all easy, but I was surprised that I managed to do it. Its definitely not perfect, the hands and feet are pretty bad and we won't talk about his underwear (please just ignore it as best you can) but overall I actually like his face and torso. I did use Egon Schiele as inspiration, I love the body shapes Schiele uses in his work, the angular somewhat unwell looking elongated and almost awkward looking figures. This is how I imagine Mark, plus he doesn't eat that well. As for the colour palette I found it got slightly brighter the further through the project I got. Maybe its because I got some new crayola pencils for Christmas (100 colours not to brag) but I think mainly is because I started taking photographs on my dads old film camera and liked the bright and bold and solid colours that it captured once we had the photos developed. It made me think of when I was little and the bright colours I relate with nostalgia. I also liked that Mark didn't see the issue of a boy with no ears, this lead me onto looking into imperfections and the textures and hyperpigmented colours that imperfect skin has. I love seeing the yellow and purple under peoples eyes, the red around spots and the purples on the end of old mens noses, I think its really beautiful so I tried to capture this in my colour palette and UV map. 

6-7 - UV Mapping and Rigging

I started to UV map my model once it was completed and did find it pretty tricky, I had some issues with unfolding where the computer would crash upon using the tool. I talked to Gary a little about this and it seems it was due to the model having some 3 sides shapes. I tried to fix these but in the end it just kept happening on the head even when I couldn't find any more 3 sided shapes. After this I just unfolded and mapped whatever I could and just didn't unfold the head map. This has led to some stretching on the top of his head but at least it isn't an area with more detail where it'd be very noticeable. I used the charcoal brushes on procreatre to create a mottled skin look and selected colours from my colour palette, I really like the charcoal brush as they blend nicely together. Rigging the character seemed really easily but then again it clearly did not work so maybe I just did it wrong. I used Garys tutorial and the ultimate skeleton rig and it actually fit my character pretty well already. I didn't need to move it too much. I found creating the skin cage a little tricky as his fingers are very skinny meaning it was tricky to hide the cage completely but I did get there in the end. I also then learned that you can hide the cage afterwards as it initially was showing up on my renders. 

8 - Posing and Liminal Space 

Upon posing my character I knew I wanted him to be falling from the pipe to the space below - somewhere safer and comforting that he was longing for. It wasn't exactly a scary or painful fall, of course it hurt but it seemed better than the alternative. There was not masses of examples of people falling in the way that I imagined so I mainly just freely posed it and held my arms in the pose I was imaging but I did find some okay examples on pinterest. I also had this idea of liminal space in my head that I couldn't shake. I liked the familiarity involved in the idea of liminal space - somewhere we all slightly recognise and feel comfortable with, adding to the feeling of nostalgia and longing for comfort, safety and childhood.

9-10 - Second Character 

I know less about my second character but I feel like she ended up in this space for similar reasons. Loneliness, a longing for the past and additionally a feeling of being out of time. Growing up she was what everyone longed to be, young to find a partner and marry, young to have children, a bit of a beauty queen, smart and charismatic too. But thats the past, her husband drinks and doesn't treat her very well anymore. Her children are grown up and she has grandchildren but they don't get to see each other anymore. She didn't work and feels empty now, longing for a time that has now passed. 

11 - Self Directed Model Making 

I knew that over christmas I wanted to work on my own model making because I feel that I may want to go into character design or stop motion model. I thought this was a perfect opportunity to do both. I decided to use polymer clay  because even though it isn't typically used in stop motion due to it not being flexible I thought it was my best option as it'd give me a good solid base to paint ontop of. I used wool, brushed out with a cat brushed and curled for the hair and acrylic paint and pencil for the skin and colour. I tried to capture similar colours to my 3D model so that they look like they could come from the same story/world. I really enjoyed making it and plan on doing more after hand in. 

Legasov You Did Not Know

I am going to share an ingot of solid gold right now, the kind that will break your heart and ruin your day.

I have unearthed this some time ago from a book that’s been long out of print. It is the translation of a truly heart-wrenching eulogy written by his late widow, Margarita Mihailovna Legasova. There is a lot of new information about Legasov in this piece, the kind of things only the wife of 30 years would know. 

Defenceless Victor—Margarita Legasova’s title of her reminiscences 

This title in Trud was followed by a quotation by Valery Legasov:

There are two colour photos hanging in my office at work. One of them is of a Nuclear Atomic Plant, the other of storks. These photos hang near each other as a reminder of the close relationship between life, nature and technology, letting one know beforehand of the fragility of life, about the necessity to keep it. I recalled these photos when I worked in Chernobyl eliminating the consequences of the accident at the NPP. Really, could storks in the future, living on the earth, feel themselves to be safe with modern industry? Is such a peaceful coexistence possible? And if possible, then what should be done to achieve this?

It was not until 10 years after the accident and eight years after Valery Legasov’s death that his widow published a short memoir in Trud that unequivocally confirmed that her husband had committed suicide on 27 April 1988. They had first met when students in the same institute and together worked at a students’ building construction project in what were termed in the USSR as the virgin lands. Under the title Defenceless Victor she described her memories of Legasov’s troubled times at Chernobyl and the period afterwards when he was, to a certain extent, ostracized by the establishment. She also includes interesting comments on what life was like for a senior scientist and his family in the Soviet system: very different from the experiences of Western scientists.

***

Last year we at last completed erection of a gravestone on his grave. This was with thanks to my son and daughter and a few supporters and colleagues of the Academician who helped to cover the expenses. That day when the sculptor invited me to his workshop and showed me the completed work, Valery returned home in the form of his bronze sculpture. He often had to travel away on business trips, we tried to be patient and wait for his return, but on 27 April 1988 he was transported away, already lifeless, forever. 

On Saturday 26 April 1986, Valery left for an ordinary business meeting where he learned about the Chernobyl NPP accident and that evening he was already 2 km away from the destroyed reactor. Life seemingly continued but terrible forebodings did not allow us to relax and stop worrying about his health. After 27 April our acquaintances began to say that badly irradiated victims of the accident had begun to be transported to Moscow to Hospital No. 6. Nobody could tell me when he would return. 

On the morning of 5 May about 8am there was a ring at the door bell and Valery entered in a borrowed suit of clothes and carrying a polythene bag with belongings rather than his normal case. He was very thin, with a dark face, red eyes and the palms of his hands were tanned black. He only had time to wash, change, breakfast and ask about his two grandchildren before he had to leave at 10am for a meeting. There was no time to tell us what was the state of events at Chernobyl. Then at lunchtime one of his assistants telephoned and said that Boris Scherbina wanted him again at Chernobyl. 

It was only when he returned home later that he was able to tell us that he had personally entered the most dangerous areas in the fourth reactor and how shaken he was at the criminal carelessness displayed at the NPP before the explosion. 

He next returned home on 13 May and it seemed to us that the biggest difficulties were in the past: but we soon understood that we were mistaken. By summer Valery was already in poor health, suffering from frequent headaches, chronic insomnia, nausea and stomach illness. It was difficult to recognize the earlier Valery in this morally depressed man. He was taken many times for medical investigation to Hospital No. 6 of the atomic establishment. Heart insufficiency, serious leukocytosis, problems with his myelocytes and bone marrow were diagnosed, as well as neurosis. But no official diagnosis was made of radiation syndrome, although I had no doubt that it was so. 

He became an Academician at the early age of 45 but some of the leading figures of Soviet science called him ‘A boy from the chemical suburbs’. However, he was interesting to work with and liked jokes, being famous as an amusing raconteur, although everyone knew that science was the principal interest of his life. His private family life was unknown to his colleagues. 

For five years, 1964–69, we lived in a flat of 22 square metres at Nizhegorodskaya Street. Though we could use only communal transportation we often made trips together with our two little children to Kuskovo, Ostankino and Arkangelskoye. In Tsaritsino we enjoyed ski holidays. It now seems that these were the happiest times of our lives. 

Valery was a car enthusiast for the last 10 years of his life and loved driving at very high speeds. He had always wanted a private car and his first, which was also his last, was a GAZ-25 Volga which we bought in 1977 for 9500 roubles when he was a Candidate Member of the Academy of Sciences. The initial capital for the purchase was his quota from his State Prize received for his achievements in the field of chemistry. 

We usually celebrated New Year in the circle of our family, sometimes in a rest house. One of these days a pure bred chau chau puppy appeared in our family and it was assumed that it was my New Year’s gift. Ma Lu Thomas, as she was called, would recognize only Valery as his owner and loved being in our car. She was inseparable from him and died just after Valery’s death. He was also an adoring grandfather to Misha and Valerik and invented little poems for them and played charades. 

As a boy he received a musical education and for many years was interested in listening and understanding classical music: Grieg, Sibelius, Shostakovich and Prokofiev. He was also fond of Schnitke. Over the years we bought tickets for many concerts in the Tschaikovsky Concert Hall of the Musical Conservatoire. Valery’s last concert was in Lithuania in the summer of 1987: for flute and organ. Little did I know that soon afterwards Valery would make a first attempt to commit suicide. He swallowed a handful of Triptizol tablets but that time the physicians managed to save him. 

In one Soviet TV programme is was said that Academician Legasov was a sincere believer. It is not so. From autumn 1987 he began to read the Bible and thought much about what he read. He was not baptised a Christian, but respected religion even though he was brought up an atheist. 

He considered that the East was weak and during his business trips he tried to see as much as possible of culture. He very much wanted to visit one of the sacred Islamic places, the mausoleum of Hoja Ahmed Iasavi, and the monument erected in honour of the ancient Turkish poet who lived in the twelfth century and was an advocate of Sufism. We visited the ancient city of Yami and worshipped at the grave of the philosopher, and Valery often recalled his verses:

Having met a man of another faith 

Don’t be evil to him

The God does not like people

With a cruel heart...

After their death punishment

Waits for them...

On his return from the Chernobyl NPP Valery told very sparingly, with tears in his eyes, about the unpreparedness for the accident. Those days nobody could precisely estimate the number of victims, but Legasov understood better than others, the lack of necessary means of health protection: pure water, food products, iodine prophylaxis. 

In August 1986 Valery Legasov presented a report to IAEA experts at a meeting in Vienna, about the causes and the consequences of the accident. His five-hour report was very well received and he returned home triumphal. But soon his mood changed. During the last two years after the accident he suffered great psychological trauma and his inner strength was broken. 

Twice he was nominated for a high award from the State, and twice the nomination was cancelled. He received a suggestion that he might take up a position with the IAEA in the field of nuclear technology: again, obstacles appeared. There was also the planned nomination for Director of a Research Centre on the Problems of Industrial and Nuclear Safety: this came to nothing. His election as a Member of the French Academy of Sciences was apparently assured and although we went to Paris on 4 February 1988, his last business trip, he did not receive Membership. Also, just after his Paris trip he was hospitalized with acute leukocytosis, pneumonia and severe neurosis. 

Chernobyl was not only a tragedy of international importance but it was also the personal tragedy of the gifted scientist Valery Legasov. 

Source: Chernobyl Record- The Definitive History of the Chernobyl Catastrophe, R F Mould

Notes:

I had a feeling there was more to Legasov than what we see in the written material out there (I read Russian at upper intermediate level so I have access to quite a lot of info, and I have read the magnificent in-depth science-engineering reform articles of him which were absolutely jaw-dropping in their visionary quality. Yet some of the information in this article blew my mind.  Legasov’s intellectual side is far deeper than anyone’s guess, that is evident.

All the documentary films and other material mention Legasov took sleeping pills in his first suicide attempt in 1987, but it turns out it was Triptizol, which is the brand name of Amitriptyline -a powerful antidepressant prescribed for major depression and where SSRI’s don’t work. It has been used as sleeping medicine in the US, but I have no clue if it had such use in the USSR. It is known Legasov developed a serious insomnia problem, but he was also diagnosed with major clinical depression. 

Margarita Legasova was a professor of chemistry, they both graduated from the prestigious Mendeleev School of Chemistry, where they met (as mentioned in the beginning.)

The dog’s name sounds like it’s mistranscribed or something, in Russian language articles written by Legasov’s close friends she is mentioned as Tomka. Poor thing stopped eating after she realized he was gone forever and died shortly after. 

Dead Doll's Eyes: Bruce Campbell Talks New Evil Dead and Calls Out Martin Scorsese’s Bulls—t.

You can choose to read the interview below or click the link above to listen to the ten minute recorded version. 

Bruce Campbell burrowed his way into our hearts as a dashing B-movie icon with roles in a litany of cult classics, from Evil Dead to Bubba Ho-Tep.

After returning to his roots to play Ash Williams for three seasons of delightfully gratuitous gore in Ash vs Evil Dead, Campbell put away his chainsaw for good when Starz cancelled the series in 2018. However, much to fans’ delight, Evil Dead trilogy director and Ash vs Evil Dead producer Sam Raimi recently announced a forthcoming entry to the franchise with Campbell attached as a producer. Even better: although Ash won’t return to fight Deadites in live action, Campbell will lend his voice to an upcoming Evil Dead video game.

To accompany the rerelease of his memoir Hail to the Chin: Further Confessions of a B Movie Actor — now with an added “Requiem for Ash” chapter — Campbell is dropping by the Alamo City next week for a screening of Army of Darkness and audience Q&A. He promises it’ll be a good time — “There’s lots of stories about the making of that ridiculous movie.”

We caught up with Campbell over the phone, and he shared his thoughts on retiring Ash, teased some upcoming projects and even offered a few choice words for Martin Scorsese.

After Ash vs Evil Dead was cancelled you decided to hang up the character and retire him.

I did, didn’t I?

Unlike other actors who retire their characters, it’s not so much that you’re sick of Ash Williams, but that the demands of filming such a special effects-heavy series led you to reach something you’ve called “The Latex Point.” Could you expand on the on-set demands of Ash vs Evil Dead and why they’re so taxing?

Well, my wife sort of put a finger on it — as she so often does. She came into the trailer one day the last season of shooting, and I’m sitting there miserable because I had to put down plastic sheeting everywhere I went. I’d stick to everything because I was always covered with blood.

She goes, “I know what your problem is — you got Poopy Diaper Syndrome.”

I’m like, “What’re you talking about?”

“You’re like a 3-year-old or a 2-year-old sitting in a poopy diaper, and you can’t get out of your poopy diaper. No one will help you change your poopy diaper.”

So really, it’s that. It’s a series of lying face down in cellars. And it occurred to me multiple times. I’d be lying there literally face down, waiting for a shot, covered in blood in a dark cellar on the dirt, and I’m like, “Is this where I belong?” And the answer was “yes” for a long time, but it’s not a permanent place where you wanna be. Not as a 60-year-old man.

I wanted to avoid that Star Wars crap, where they’re holding these actors up with baling wire and cotton balls, you know what I mean? Feeding them their lines of dialogue through earbuds. I couldn’t do that. I could still pull the character off, so I wanted to finish while I could still do it.

And not have it kind of become…

Uh, sad. We don’t want sadness.

But you’re not leaving Evil Dead. You’re attached as a producer to a new movie, and it’s going to bring new blood into the franchise, including a director hand-picked by Sam Raimi. How does it feel to be able to step back, but still help usher in this new era?

Well, fantastic. Because, look, we can work with these directors. We can support them in the ways that we’ve always wanted to be supported. We can punish them in the ways that we should have been punished. We can hire actors that are good and well behaved, because I know what to look for. And when we get an actor, we can tell them how to best use their time and not party. We’ve learned a lot over the years, so we can share and torment these directors into making a good movie. There’s definitely a place for us. We’ll be there behind the scenes pulling the strings on these little monkeys.

How does it compare so far to the development process for Fede Álvarez’s 2013 Evil Dead? Or is it too early to say?

It’s too early, and every director’s different. Fede was very specific. I’d never worked with Fede, so I wanted to make sure he could work with actors. I sat in for only one day during auditions, and I could see how he would see a take, work with the actors, and the second take was better. After I saw two or three of those, I was like, OK — I’m outta here. This guy knows how to get a better take out of an actor. Done. That’s a huge accomplishment. And he was already very astute with special effects.

What you have to do is find out what the director’s strength is and encourage that, and find out what their weaknesses are and either fix that or discourage that. Some directors are great with actors but they suck at special effects, some are great at special effects but they don’t know how to talk to actors. It’s a really delicate dance. The modern movie is very delicate, because the modern movie has way more special effects now.

In Captain Marvel, even the cat was CGI most of the time he was onscreen.

Lemme tell ya, I’m gonna make a bold statement here.

The Irishman has more digital effects than the most recent Marvel movie, but you just don’t notice. Which why I call B.S. on Marty Scorsese calling out the Marvel movies. It’s like, bullshit! You just used more digital effects than a Marvel movie, and you’re telling me that’s cinema but the other one isn’t?

But the point is, I don’t buy it. I mean, I can’t wait to watch that movie, because I’m gonna be driven insane by Robert DeNiro at 42, Robert DeNiro at 47, Robert DeNiro at 31. It’s just gonna drive me insane, because I’m gonna look at it and I’m gonna be looking at dead doll’s eyes and, you know, they’re gonna do a good job, but they’re all gonna look like sharks.

Now that you’re no longer beholden to the intense schedule of TV production, are there any projects that you’re able to look at that weren’t an option before?

Well, one of two things can happen. I finally told my agent, “OK,” because I had to pass on some things in the last couple years that were decent projects, because I had a bunch of other random stuff going. If you open up your schedule, you can allow for stuff like that. All of 2020 is currently completely open. I have zero bookings for the first time in probably 15 years. I like booking my year — I like knowing what’s going on — but, in this case I’m gonna leave work open to fall off the truck from my agency.

But I also have a TV project that I’m pushing and a feature film project. I will go back under the TV knife under the right conditions, and I have a project that I would do that for. “Under the knife” meaning to sign a contract.

The beauty of it is with these limited series now, no one has to commit to shit these days. One season, two seasons, three seasons, you know. So, we’ll see what happens. I just wrote a feature film — a political satire — and I wanna make that next, so I’m in the process of shopping it. I’m hat in hand right now.

You’ve been in the director’s chair, both for Hercules: The Legendary Journeys and Xena: Warrior Princess as well as your horror comedy My Name is Bruce. Would you be interested in directing again, possibly for the movie you just wrote?

All the projects that I’m currently gonna be involved with now, moving forward, I’ll be directing in some way. Raising money for low budget movies — I have as much experience as anybody now, so there’s no reason to look for anybody else. I’ll just direct myself.

It’s time for the new sheriff to come into town.

Another thing that makes Evil Dead so compelling is the long-running team behind it. Even if it’s not Evil Dead, would you be down to act in future projects with Sam and Ted Raimi, or your Ash vs Evil Dead costars?

Well, I would be happy to work with any of them again, but I just can’t say. Sam, who knows? Sam’s off making these 10-minute shorts. I forget the name of the company, but everyone’s making shorts now, so go figure.

Kind of like YouTube — getting on that train?

Yeah, I don’t know. It’s all new to me. I’m sticking with the true-blue formats for now.

If you had the opportunity to reprise any other characters that you’ve played previously, like fan favorite Brisco County, Jr., would you be interested? Or do you want to focus on all new material and characters?

New stuff is always my favorite, but I would definitely do Brisco Rides Again, and I would definitely do more Burn Notice. We’re sort of circling the building now with Burn Notice. Maybe it’s time to save the world again. The world needs us.

You recently updated your memoir Hail to the Chin with a new “Requiem for Ash,” and are making appearances tied to the book’s rerelease. How do you integrate tours and press appearances without blowing out your schedule, and how do they differ from press junkets you do for film and TV?

The beauty of working with a company is when it’s time to do press, they’ve really got it down. I saved a bunch of my itineraries from Ash vs Evil Dead just because of how ridiculous they were, so I can look back and show my grandchildren “this was a press day in New York City.” So, you really got the support. The only difference is when you do low budget stuff, or even books, you’re kind of on your own, and it’s way more down-home. It’s Twitter, it’s Facebook, it’s Facebook ads or whatever. It’s no national TV — nothin’. It’s a whole different ball game.

You know, I’m a one-man band. I’ll miss a few interviews because I forgot or didn’t put it in my schedule or whatever. Someone’ll call, I’ll go, “What do you want?” They’re like, “We have a phoner.” I go, “Really? Ok, great.” This one I happened to remember. We do what we can.

A Conversation with Bruce Campbell and Screening of Army of Darkness: $29.50-$125, 8 p.m. Friday, October 25, Aztec Theatre, 104 N. St. Mary’s St., (210) 812-4355, theaztectheatre.com.