#SURE DO LOVE GOING INTO AN INDUSTRY WHERE WE'RE SO APPRECIATED
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Sorry if this gets rambly, but I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciate and admire you for turning down a traditional publishing offer to continue to write the way you want. There's a certain level of tender rawness in your works that I know would be completely stripped away by a publishing house. From the topics you write about to the way you portray queerness, it would all be soulless and devoid of any beauty if you signed it all away. I don't think I would love your work as much as I do if you didn't self-publish. From the topics you write about to the way you portray queerness, it would all be soulless and devoid of any beauty if you signed it all away.
My previous experiences with reading self-published books has always been 50/50, and most of the time, I felt like they would've been better if they were polished and cleaned by a traditional publisher. In reading Angels Before Man, I've come to realize how important it is to read books outside of the "approved publisher" bubble. It feels so liberating to read something so unapologetically queer and dark and emotional. In a world where queer works feel like they're getting more and more santitized for the comfort of cishet corporate overlords, it's comforting to know that we're able to tell our stories on our own terms.
Hello!!! Thank you for saying this. I'm sorry if I also get rambly but I have a lot, a lot, of thoughts on self-publishing and the industry after I've taken some big steps away from it.
I need to make the small correction that I didn't turn down a deal itself. I was in limbo waiting for the deal and had already gotten a rejection or two on ABM getting picked up. I'm not sure how much I'm allowed to talk about but I'll try to be clear
The series of events goes: I posted ABM online in November 2022, my agent reached out to me in January, ABM immediately gets sent to a "very interested" publisher in February, then I revised the book before I sent it to other "interested/excited" publishers around March. I lasted until early August, had a meltdown, then begged my agent to tell the publishers to let go of my book so I could work on the sequel.
I'm giving context because "stripped away by a publishing house" really struck a cord with me.
Here's the thing: the publishing industry is in a downward spiral. The author dream is gone. If you sell a book, your advance is more likely to be, say, 50k instead of 100k and that 50k is going to split into 4 payments over 2 years. Publishers don't market books anymore; they just make you open up a TikTok account and tell you to dance. Editors are overworked and picking up books that either are or feel already developmentally edited and (some) are asking for blurbs from big name authors (?!) before they look at your manuscript. They want books they can line edit quickly and send to market — but it's not their fault. HarperCollins editors were on strike for an absurdly long time and have gained... well, basically nothing. Agents and editors are leaving the industry. Publishing houses are "poaching" successful indie books and stroking indie author egos to take half their royalties.
I haven't even gotten to the racism and white liberalism problem. Look at Xiran Jay Zhao having their work being held hostage by their publisher for being anti-genocide. I worry about how queerness is represented in tradbooks but maybe more deeply worry about the race problem. There were calls for diversity 10 years and they've led absolutely nowhere. "Diversity" focused imprints keep getting shut down and leaving their authors in limbo.
But about editing again — so I'm sure you've heard of this book Babel by RF Kuang. It's popular but gets critiqued for hand-holding a white audience too much. Here's the thing though — I made a similar comment to my buddy and he told me whether that's the fault of Kuang or the fault of the editor. And that made me think — how many books are critiqued for what authors may have been forced to do? Yellowface by Kuang, written after Babel, goes into a manuscript getting heavily changed to appeal to white readers. Editors say "But I'm confused" and "But it doesn't make sense to me" because your editor is themselves the inescapable, white audience. And usually the cishet audience too — the straight person sighing that your fags are too problematic in these scary political times.
So why am I saying all this?? Look, I've never thought ABM was perfect. I think it's got some mediocre lines, some things I attempted that I don't think I pulled off. I, also, got into the habit of looking at self-published books (my own included) and thinking, "Oh this needed a professional hand-holding it." Tradpub was exciting to me because I could have someone hold my hand and work on the prose with me. I wanted to make the prose better.
But so I step into tradpub and it all goes wrong. They don't know what to do with me. They suggest a revision to cut it down to a novella. I get angry and then get angrier when I'm treated like I'm being spoiled; it's not about my "vision" here. Imagine if I announced to ABM readers that I cut ABM to 80 pages for a little bit of money?? Others started implying Part 2 basically needed to go; it's too confusing, too fucked up. Part 1 was perfect. Rafael, have u considered it being more of a romantasy? Have you considered a happy ending. Have you considered Michael and Lucifer having romantic virgin sex and have you considered cutting that other part with God entirety. Have you considered whether you're just trying to shock people and maybe you need to calm down
Well, I responded to all this with "What about the readers?? I can't make any big changes. They wouldn't like that." But I saw that they didn't want my readers.
There's a publisher right now who has Angels Before Man by rafael nicolás slapped on their "type of books we want" brochure they sent to (I believe) agents. They never contacted me though. I started to see that maybe no publisher ever wanted ABM. They wanted something like ABM, the idea of ABM and the idea of rafael, the mysterious queer mexican guy. you see, the publishing dream is not dead! you too can be like rafael. you can be a nobody who gets their book picked up by Penguin Random House and Fixed to Be Good and make a hundred thousand dollars and youll get to sit at the cool kids table.
Anyway, I love to read self-published, 0 rating books. They're usually weird, full of typos sometimes, but I never care. I don't read to judge something on a merit of goodness anyway (what does that mean) but just to experience something. I love reading porn, but I'm not usually sexually tantalized but it; I just love how insane it is. And seeing someone put their whole heart in something full of typos and pacing issues and plot holes is a thousand times more fulfilling to me than reading a polished husk of 3-act structure, perfect clean characters, strong prose that was worked on by 19 people and doesn't hold the dreams/desires/flaws of anyone.
I'm really happy to self-publish. I like not having a censor and pouring my heart into something. And work! Hard work is incredibly fulfilling to me; I care more about the work I put into A&M than the product it'll end up being. But I also keep thinking of situations like Babel and I think that if my work sucks, at least it's because of me and my skill, or lack thereof. It gives me a little bit of dignity.
thank you again for the ask. i appreciate it very much.
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What is something you wish more people understood about you or if you prefer about your job or hobbies?
Hey Lovely!!
Ahhh, oh gosh SO much, honestly.
So I'm a graphic designer by trade, and an illustrator and freelance designer as my side gig, and my hobbies are art-related as well.
FOR SURE, I have to say that I wish people respected designers as the creatives we are. I've GENUINELY had clients who think all I do is hit a "design ad" button and BOOM it's done, and don't think they should have to pay me because – and this is ONLY because I've been doing this for 20 years – I can finish a print ad in under an hour, and booklets under 5, not taking into account the AMOUNT OF CHANGES and STUPID things I have to talk people out of to not make them look bad.
Some other things:
Microsoft Word is not a design program. I HATED this when I worked at the Paper. Good fucking LORD the amount of times I've had to rebuild an ad because the client couldn't resize it themselves and couldn't understand why if they moved something everything fucked up is astounding.
Canva is good for mocking up design, but I'm sorry, you're NOT a designer if you learned design in Canva. I know it sounds gatekeepy and pretentious, and I am sorry about that, but even with Canva you need to know SOME principles of design to get something appealing out of it. A designer, after-all, MADE your templates you're working from. We're everywhere. We're a silent bunch that's under-appreciated. You're never going to get the precision and nuance and a proper eye that you'll get from a designer. Sure you'll get quick and dirty designs, work fine for socials, but I LOATHE when people send me shit they made in Canva that I have to, once again, rebuild because they can't figure out how to resize in Canva and complained to me that Canva isn't making it look nice when they export it (to be fair, that's a them problem, the tools ARE there for you to do that stuff)
When your designer tells you one thing and you're trying to push for another, your designer is trying to save you the embarrassment of your "vision". We know what we're doing. We spend most of our days knowing market trends and what will make eyes go to your advertisements and products.
Strokes don't fix everything.
I can't read your mind. PLEASE, if you wanted an element there from the start, you need to tell me, and not tell me I'm a fucking moron who should have guessed by the blobs you drew on a napkin as your layout.
Fuck AI; I see the benefits of it for smaller things like content aware fill to add a bit more height to a stock photo I'm using, or the smart-select to route a photo faster, but literally that's all I see useful for it.
I know there's loads more I'm missing, but I've seen SO much that I'm numb to a lot of things and tend to just "autocorrect" stuff without even thinking anymore.
I love my job though, I really do. The joke in my industry is that "I get paid to play in Photoshop all day long" and there is some truth to it after doing this for nearly 20 years. But I wish people would understand that we are trained professionals who want to make them look good, and to do that I need time and money. We are literally background characters for the main protagonists, and the pay isn't great unless you're really lucky (which I am, but it took me 12 years to finally get in where I am), and I wish people would stop saying my job is easy.
It literally is not. Think of it as retail, but you deal with the same people every single day nitpicking the tiniest things over and over again despite you telling them countless times that 6pt font is probably the smallest you should go, but no 3 pt must be on this ad.
Anyway. 🙃
My favourite though is Layout Design. I love designing the booklets and mailers we do at my job, because I get to be super creative. My boss is pretty lenient with me, since "you've been here longer than all of us, you know better than me how this works", so I get to have fun.
Thank you for this question :) And gonna promo myself here, if anyone ever needs design or layout services, I'm your gal :)
#steph replies#about me#graphic design#ask me anything#i love answering questions about my profession#because it's literally the only thing i'm good at#i pride myself on my skills
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The Bodyguard AU 😌
((Your love for Tevos is showing again, friend. 😏 I gotchu though! I think you wanted three prompts from this if I recall correctly, so I hope you like these!))
Pairing: Rajhi Shepard/Councilor Tevos
Rating: General
AU: Wanna Be On Your Mind (formerly titled the Bodyguard AU)
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"Who the fuck taught Sparatus how to do air quotes?!" Shepard crossed her arms with a scowl. "I swear, I'm going to break his fingers if he does that to me again!"
Tevos didn't even bother to look up from where she was perusing through various documents on her desk. "Please don't," she deadpanned even though she was all too aware her request was likely to be ignored with as incensed as the human woman currently was. Her point was further proven when Shepard continued on her with tirade without so much as missing a beat.
"Was it his secretary?! I bet it was his secretary!" Shepard began pacing along the length of her office--agitation evident in every movement--while voicing her thoughts aloud. "I see the way he leers at her!"
"Shepard--"
"'Interest in strengthening alliances with the newest members of the galactic community' my ass! They're fucking, Tevos! I just know it! I'd bet my entire salary on it!"
Tevos gave a long-suffering sigh as she pressed her fingers against her temples. "Considering I'm currently paying for your salary, one would think you would act with a bit of decorum."
"Look, outside of your office, I will act as damn professional as you want me to be. There's a reason why I had Miranda put that 'satisfaction guaranteed with services' clause in the contract with our clients." The woman pointed down repeatedly at the floor. "When we're alone though? I want the option to at least vent. If not, that's fine. I can always have Kaidan or Jacob stand in for me if you'd like."
It was likely the wiser option, Tevos knew.
She had met both men often enough to know they were utterly consummate in the duties expected of them. Tevos had employed enough bodyguards in her lifetime to know that they more than met the standards of such an intense industry. Still, there was something... refreshing about Shepard's personality in particular--one that was a powerful and bold as the former Special Ops commander of the Alliance.
And for as wild and spirited as Shepard could be, Tevos could admit the woman would never intentionally jeopardize her position as the asari councilor. Shepard was always the epitome of professional competence even among the most high-profile members in the galaxy.
Her connection to those very same individuals aside, she was everything one could ask for in a bodyguard.
Even Tevos could admit that.
Surely, she could forgive a few eccentricities in these private moments if it meant retaining the part of their relationship that she had come to appreciate. She tilted her head as she turned to consider Shepard more thoughtfully then. She couldn't help the soft smile that danced upon her lips.
"That won't be necess--"
"Councilor?"
Both she and Shepard turned to stare at the intercom at her desk. Tevos immediately recognized the voice of her secretary. She leaned forward to tap at the haptic interface.
"Yes, Esila?"
"The turian councilor is here to see you. He mentioned wanting to discuss some of the upcoming proposals for the Council." There was a pause. "Oh, and it seems he's bringing along his secretary. Would you like me to update the lunch order from your favorite restaurant?"
Tevos didn't at all miss the way Shepard immediately perked up with great interest at the mention of Sparatus' secretary accompanying him.
A dog with the proverbial bone as it were if she were to borrow the human idiom...
"That would be lovely, Esila. You can send them both in. Please do tell me when lunch is delivered."
"Of course."
Tevos ensured she had the intercom turned off before she turned to Shepard with a pointed stare. The woman responded by giving her the most winsome smile, but Tevos knew not to fall for it. "And you... behave."
---
"Miss Lawson's calm conduct in all matters is highly regarded by my colleagues."
"Oh, Miranda?" Shepard chuckled as she wandered over to her desk with their lunch. "Yeah, she's probably one of the smartest people I know. She's got a doctorate or two in fields that I probably couldn't even begin to understand. Don't ask me how she managed to do that between the type of work we do. I just chalk it up to being a Miranda thing at this point." She grinned. "I'm sure the Alliance Admiralty Board is still frothing at the mouth that I managed to steal her away from them when I left. Sorry about the wait with the food by the way. You wouldn't believe how long the line was for these."
Tevos was pleased when Shepard was mindful of placing coasters beneath their respective drinks. Tevos wasn't fond of the marks that were often left behind on the glass surface due to condensation. As she gazed down at the colorful beverages, she realized that the woman had ventured out to one of the Asian restaurants that recently received a boom in popularity thanks to having the asari councilor's personal bodyguard as a frequent visitor.
The drinks were something of a new, but well-appreciated, novelty on the Presidium for the small spheres nestled at the bottom of the cup. They were either made using traditional tapioca, which Shepard preferred because of the chew, or Tevos' favorite of the tropical fruit-filled balls that popped almost instantly on meeting her tongue.
"No need to concern yourself," she answered, smiling gratefully when Shepard handed her an oblong-shaped sandwich. She could smell the sweet, grilled meat almost instantly. Despite her focus toward finishing her remaining work, she couldn't help the way her mouth watered, reminding her she hadn't eaten since early that morning. "Did she hold a similar position to yours when she was in the Alliance?" Tevos wouldn't have been surprised if she had.
"No actually." Shepard wasted little time into tucking into her banh mi. Apparently, the woman's hunger had been greater than her own, for Tevos couldn't help but raise her tattooed brows at the large bite that had been taken. Shepard hummed appreciatively at the taste, finishing chewing before continuing with, "She held the same Lieutenant rank Kaidan had before we left. I honestly thought she'd make Captain before he and I ever did, but if you were to ask Miranda, she'd say something along the lines of her being tired of the bureaucracy."
"Hm. I'm sure with her resume she could have gone anywhere she desired."
"That's what I told her!" Shepard laughed. "I guess for her, working private security wasn't too far different from what we used to do." She shrugged. "The pay's better at least, considering the type of clientele we have. I don't think she's going to complain about being able to pay for the entirety of her sister's university funds without even having to bat an eye." The woman picked up her drink then--a coffee variant from what Tevos could tell of the color--to sample it and the tapioca balls, chewing carefully on the latter. "I appreciate that she was even willing to follow me on this little venture. It was admittedly a bit of a gamble when we first left the Alliance."
"I'm sure anyone would be lucky to have a second-in-command as level-headed and skilled as Miss Lawson."
"Oh, definitely. I'd probably forget that my head was on my shoulders half the time if it weren't for her. She's better at the business side of things than I am. Honestly, she has the patience of a saint, which says a lot, considering Jack and I normally--"
"Shepard!"
And Tevos blinked when Shepard jerked in place at the call of her name by the very woman they'd been discussing. From the volume, Tevos wagered that Miss Lawson was somewhere outside her office.
"Shepard! Why the bloody hell did Kasumi find surveillance footage of you and Officer Vakarian shooting drink canisters off the highest point of the Presidium?!"
"Oh, goddamn Kasumi and her hacking abilities..." Shepard muttered balefully. Still, she wasted little time in gathering her half of her lunch in her hands before throwing a grin Tevos' way. "Uh, I'll text Ash and tell her to take over guard duty for me for the next few hours. I should hopefully see you again during dinner if--"
"Shepard!"
The woman's smile only widened at the shout even if Tevos could see how those golden-colored eyes tightened at their corners with sudden nervousness.
"Excuse me. I have to go hide now."
---
"Whoa, what? Wait, wait, wait! You can't just leave me here with them!" she whispered frantically.
"Shepard, I haven't visited Thessia for the better part of a decade. I'm expected to at least talk to some of the politicians here during my stay. Surely, you can manage a half hour on your own while I do so."
In response, the woman inhaled deeply before placing both of her palms together, reminiscent of a prayer position. Then, she slowly raised her hands up to press the sides of her index fingers against her own lips.
"Tevos, I really don't think you realize just how repressed some of your colleagues are..." she murmured, dark brows raising as she widened her eyes pointedly.
Tevos sighed even as she was unable to stop the wave of fondness that washed over her amidst her exasperation. "Shepard..."
"They are!" she countered in a harsh whisper before flickering her gaze over Tevos' head inconspicuously.
Well, as inconspicuously as she could anyway.
The human stood head and shoulders above most of the asari in attendance.
"Look, remember how long it took for the people on the Presidium to get over their fascination with me when I first took this job? There's a reason why I didn't bother wearing a sari to this thing. I learned from last time! Everyone kept wanting to touch my arms!"
Tevos blinked before turning to eye her bodyguard's current attire. While she had been curious about the change, she hadn't bothered to question the reasons as to why. Shepard certainly didn't do the dark, three-piece suit a disservice. Still, while it was remarkably well-tailored, it did nothing to hide Shepard's impressive physique.
Considering the asari were a communal species, it wasn't odd for them to be rather casual around one another, but such conduct was typically reserved between close friends and family members. While she knew some of the maidens upon the Presidium could be forward with their curiosity, she had assumed her colleagues would have shown the proper level of etiquette to a foreign visitor in their midst--even for someone as unique as Shepard.
That apparently hadn't been the cause.
Tevos would be in Armali for the next month or so on business. Perhaps she could forego work for at least one night, especially since Shepard seemed so uncomfortable.
...She did, however, make a mental note to watch whomever had caused her bodyguard such discomfort.
Tevos held her hand out then in request for Shepard's own. "Would you dance with me?"
Shepard blinked, taken aback by the request, especially since it wasn't part of their typical routine. "Um, sure. If you really want to."
"Well, it serves two purposes," she admitted with a laugh even as Shepard took the lead. For someone as large and imposing as her, she was remarkably light on her feet. "You wouldn't be left on your own, and it would be easier to dance our way toward the exit than manage through the crowd here. I can announce our farewells, and we can depart for the rest of the evening."
"Oh? Oh!" Shepard grinned then. "That's pretty smart of you."
Tevos huffed out a small laugh. "I do try although I'm sure my mother might be somewhat disappointed that I'm not making more contacts tonight."
"I doubt it. Matriarch Osiria's been more interested in what you get up to during your day to day schedule than anything business-related."
Tevos' brows furrowed at the claim. "I... didn't realize you had become that familiar with one another."
"Oh, well you know that I like waking up early. She's normally down in the kitchen when I make my protein shake, and she likes talking with me."
"About what exactly?"
"Random things honestly although we had a pretty interesting talk this morning."
"Oh?" Tevos could feel a certain sense of wariness settling over her. "Should I be concerned with this topic of conversation? Do I even wish to know what you spoke to her about?"
"Well..." Her gaze turned toward the high domed ceiling in thought. "I'm not entirely sure if my translator glitched out when she asked, but she seemed interested in my pedigree?" She shrugged. "And then she went on to ask about when you would be giving her grandchildren,” she answered, snickering, especially when Tevos stiffened in her arms, almost missing a step. “She mentioned something along the lines of waiting centuries and there still not being a single toddler in sight. Although honestly? I think she only added that last bit to earn some sympathy from me. Apparently, my being around you all the time makes her assume I have better insight into your love life.”
#mass effect#councilor tevos#female shepard#female shepard/councilor tevos#OTP: The Hallelujah On My Throne#AU: Wanna Be On Your Mind#i finally figured out an OTP name for these two!#and i officially gave this AU a name 🙌#opposites definitely attract when it comes to these two 😌
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Honestly I always saw Chihiro as more of an allegory for trans men more than anything else, in terms of how their storyline was treated. If there were ever an international/American live-action adaptation, I’d expect Chihiro to be explicitly adapted as such, television being television. Same with confirming Hiro is black (which apparently is a controversial idea in part of the fandom, at least on Twitter)?
Note: I'm reasonably sure that this refers to the first point I made in this long answer.
ON CHIHIRO FUJISAKI:
Oy... I find that the smartest move when it comes to Fujisaki is to treat them like the first two rules of Fight Club :P
I love the character, they're a sweetheart, but — as this anthology story accurately stated — the second you refer to Chihiro as either male or female, you're going to cause a, um, "heated debate." (Which is putting it mildly. It can swiftly explode into an outright war.)
It's the touchiest subject in the fandom. People who interpret the character strictly either way tend to not want to hear from the other side and have DNI warnings on their blogs and bios and all kinds of shit. I think this stems in part from just how personally people relate to Chihiro. They can be a very personal source of comfort for people with specific experiences.
Depending on how you interpret them, you might relate to the pressure Fujisaki's under to conform to normative gender roles/expectations OR their difficult experience with secretly being trans and being unable to share their truth.
If we look at the game strictly as it's written in the text, the character is about the former issue. But Danganronpa was released in 2010 into the Japanese market — not only a place where LGBT rights are well behind where they stand in America, but also two years before the issue of trans rights really started entering mainstream discourse in the West. So it's not out of line to suspect Chihiro's a stealth allegory about the trans experience.
AHHH, but the layers of the argument run even deeper! Because even among people who interpret the character as being trans, there's the separation of those who see Fujisaki as transfem vs. those who see them as transmasc. The former seems to be the more popular interpretation among the "Chihiro is trans" crew.
I keep using "them" and "they" because I just don't even wanna be in this debate. Clearly. Shit, I've never done any fics involving the character because then I'd probably have to say "he" or "she", and I just CANNOT. Too dangerous. I wish this wasn't the case, but this is where we're at.
HOWEVER... !
I do have ONE version of Chihiro Fujisaki who I think I can make a strong case for being defined a certain way. It's a post I've started to write twice and never had the guts to finish because, y'know, Chihiro fucking Fujisaki = first two rules of Fight Club. Suffice to say there's ONE particular "official" AU where I think there's an especially strong argument for one specific take on the character.
Maybe one day I'll break down that theory. Maybe. And then lose like a couple hundred followers the next day or something :P
ON YASUHIRO HAGAKURE:
I don't think I've ever heard/seen it posited that Hagakure could be interpreted as black before now, but I find the suggestion intriguing. I can definitely see where you're coming from. I think that'd work really well. Although then again? Maybe it's not much of a compliment to make Hagakure representation of black people in the DR1 cast, given that he's kind of a moron. :P
Japanese people are born into a variety of skin tones that can range from pretty deeply tanned to practically white as a sheet, but the typical beauty standard enforced in the culture is that the ideal = the whitest, most porcelain skin. "Whitening" products continue to be a major part of the beauty industry there today, which I think is a sad situation. So I always just assumed that Hagakure (and by extension, also Asahina and Owari) were representing the under-appreciated/put-upon darker-skinned contingent of the Japanese population.
But you know, when you take his hairstyle into account? It becomes VERY easy to interpret Hagakure as being of some African descent.
Furthermore, he actually looks a little darker-skinned in DR3 than he does in his DR1 sprites, which further fuels that potential.
It does seem logical to me that, if some international adaption were to be made? They'd probably take these darker-skinned characters as an opportunity to represent multiple races/nationalities. Black, Latino, etc.
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I read your post about how Hollywood and media have lately dismissed classic romances for being "unrealistic" - like the ones of Snow White and Cinderella with their princes - and I feel that's consequence of the 'deconstructing everything' trend that many critics in Youtube and media in general started in the 2000s. It's not only the Disney movies, even movies like Titanic haven't been free of this, as I have read many people complaining that Jack and Rose fell in love in only four days and "they were very young" or that they can't believe that Jack was the love of her life and not the husband she later married for years - since it was Jack whom she met in the afterlife. There's so much cynicism and an excess of going "meta" in movies and I feel like that is affecting the industry right now, romances are measured like a scientific study of "for how much time they met or how mature they were to comprehend what love means" in order to approve what qualifies a "realistic romance" and I feel like this remove the magic and heart in the stories.
I completely agree and I think the key word to what you said was "scientific." This is not the purpose of film or any art- there are a variety of values to the medium of film, like escapism, representation, hope, creativity, but it isn't science. Aurora and Phillip meeting in the woods is the essence of romance to me and I don't care about the screentime being "limited." Cinderella finding love at the ball after being abused her entire life gives me a high that modern romances don't. Snow White finding someone who sings to her of his love being "constant and true" and being so driven to find her that he aimlessly wonders through the forest for seasons in search of his lost love is something that's leagues above modern Disney ships that, to me, don't have chemistry or are awkward around one another. And that's okay, because we're allowed to like different things! I think the fault of the contemporary critic is they ignore the nuance of art. So, let's view films as people. Let's say I don't like a certain comedian, for instance, but that doesn't mean said comedian has no merit by existing or their own fans. Instead of critics and modern audiences simply saying, "this comedian isn't for me" they want to omit every single one until there's literally one person left in the industry. Which is unnatural, because you can't be all things to all people and not everyone is going to like the same person! (which is why I think it's bizarre that LITERALLY every ranking I've seen of the princesses has the original three in the bottom of the ranking and, without fail, Rapunzel and Belle in the top three slot)
With films, it's like they want to omit everything about a genre or style for future generations until we only get one type of female character that's approved in their checklist, one type of generic plot that has to go through all the motions instead of being focused on capturing an actual bond/vibe, making sure it's palatable to as many people as possible- almost as a machine- and it's just so indicative of the extremely consumerist culture we're living in and it's okay to let people have different interpretations of the same thing! For instance, just because some people don't like Aurora and think she's passive doesn't mean that's the case, it just means that character is not for them and they'll gravitate to someone else. If they like another character better, that doesn't mean we have to do away with characters like Aurora forever and only ever create more versions of the popular character over and over again and that can be the only model we have moving forward. Likewise, I think they want to feed people everything about a character which is so annoying to me. If everyone has the same take on one character, where's the art??? Idk there's so much more to say on this, and I've spoken about it before but I very much agree with your ask and appreciate it being sent in!
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Iron Man: Part Eight
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female!Reader (implicitly)
Word Count: ~1.8k
Warnings: canon violence and angst
Author’s Note: any and all comments are appreciated <3
x
It doesn't take long for you and Tony to get dressed for the party. He's dressed in a very nice tuxedo that compliments his figure, and you're wearing a long red dress that goes down to your feet. It has a slit up the middle that reaches your mid-thigh that shows your legs when you walk. The top has a deep v-line that goes to the bottom of your rib cage that shows the middle of your chest but still covers your breasts. Everything is held up with two very thin spaghetti straps that cross over your back so that your back is completely bare. You top this look off with thin black heels
With Tony's driving, it takes less than twenty minutes to get there. As soon. As you step foot out of the car, every camera is pointed at you two. No one was expecting you two to show up so they make sure to get you on camera to prove you were.
"I gotta say it, red looks good on you."
"A compliment? I must be dreaming," you joke. The smile is wiped off your face when you spot Obadiah talking to a reporter. "There he is."
"What's the world coming to when a guy has to crash his own party?" Tony asks as he approaches Obadiah.
"Look at you two. Hey, what a surprise," he chuckles.
"I'll see you inside," Tony says.
You two walk past Obadiah to go inside but the older man stops Tony before he can.
"Listen, take it slow, alright? I think I got the board right where we want them."
"You got it. I'll just be a minute."
You and Tony walk inside where there are a ton of people dancing, drinking, and chatting. You two walk up to the bar to get a drink or two inside you before you continue with the rest of the party.
"Give me a scotch and something fruity. We're starving," Tony chuckles.
The bartender hands you the drinks once he's done making them, and you turn to the crowd and scan the room. Someone walks in that makes you pause, and you nudge Tony to look in that direction. Pepper is wearing a gorgeous backless blue dress that compliments her.
"I guess her favorite color is blue," you say. The look on Tony's face further validates your belief that he has a thing for Pepper. "You should say hi to her. Go." You push Tony in her direction and grin when he takes your advice. Someone walks next to you and the smile is lost. "Hi, Phil."
"Y/N. It's been a long time."
"More like fifteen years. You've changed."
"You haven't."
"What are you doing here?"
"I need to debrief you and Tony about your escape. There are still a lot of unanswered questions, and time can be a factor in these things. Let's put something on the books." You look at Tony and Pepper who don't seem to be doing too good. She keeps looking over at you while talking to Tony. "How about the 24th at seven at Stark Industries?"
"Fine. We can do that. Excuse me." You leave his side and join Tony and Peppers. "Do you mind if I cut in?"
"Please," Pepper says and makes her escape.
You grab Tony's hand and drag him to the dancefloor. He keeps looking in Pepper's direction so you move him so his back is faced to her.
"Tony, when are you gonna make your move on her?"
"I was trying when you so rudely cut in."
"That didn't look like it to me. What are you waiting for?"
"She doesn't need someone like me in her life," he sighs.
"What gave you that impression? She's been with the company for ten years. She's put up with you for ten years. If that's not dedication then I don't know what is. I've been alive long enough to know what love is, and that woman has it for you. Make a move." You look behind Tony to see Pepper looking at you two. "Think about it before she moves on to someone else. Excuse me."
You leave his side and join Pepper's at the bar. You motion for the bartender to make you another drink, and Pepper looks at you nervously.
"Look, I don't want to step on any toes here."
"What are you talking about?" you ask and grab your drink.
"You and Tony."
"Me and Tony are just friends."
"Doesn't look that way to me."
"Pepper, listen, Tony's hot but he's not my type. I like the quiet and mischievous ones. You know, the ones who'd rather stay in and be alone than be in the spotlight. The ones who will go on walks with me in the dead of the night because that's when there's no one around." Saying this reminds you of Bucky and you get sad at the thought of him not by your side. "You should go for it, Pepper. He's stubborn and cocky but he likes you... a lot."
"Thanks," she smiles.
There is no one outside on the balcony, so you take this opportunity to be alone. You set your drink on the edge of the balcony and open your small purse that can only hold a couple of things, one of which is pictures of Bucky. There are only two that you carry around with you because it feels like he's by your side.
How pathetic is that?
One of them is a black and white photo of Bucky that you took of him wearing his uniform proudly. The other is of you two that you had Steve take of you in Bucky's arms. Your back is turned to him but you're looking up at him while he's looking down at you. The love this picture holds is one-of-a-kind. No one will ever compare to Bucky, not even Carol.
There are a thousand years worth of memories locked inside your head but you'll never forget the time you had with Bucky. There have been a lot of flings and relationships in your past such as Carol, Ikaris, and... someone else. There is someone else locked inside your mind that you can't seem to remember. Why?
"Who is that?" Phil asks, startling you.
You wipe your eyes to prevent the tears from falling and put the pictures back inside your purse.
"Someone who I wish was here. What are you really doing here, Phil?"
"Fury needs you."
"Needs me for what?"
You grab your drink and down the rest of it before turning to face him.
"We have questions about yours and Tony's escape because we think you two can be useful. Fury's been nice. He hasn't called you once since you left in 1995."
"Left, huh? You think I just left and never came back?"
"Didn't you?"
"My ex-girlfriend left the planet to help others fight their wars while I took some time for myself. I have gone through more shit than anyone, done some things you can't possibly imagine, and I thought that deserves a break, at least. I met Tony and lived almost twenty years helping him, helping his company, only to get captured once again by men who think they're better than everyone. Do you want to know how we escaped? Because of Tony. What else is there to know?"
"We know about his little side project."
"Oh, so you're into spying now?"
"No. It's a necessary precaution Fury is taking."
"For what?"
"The Avengers Initiative."
"What the hell is that?"
"We're putting together a group of remarkable people to help fight battles that we can't. Remarkable can mean many things such as a man in an iron suit and a woman who can control the four elements."
"You know, that idea might sound good on paper but it might not be good in real life. There is a group of people on this Earth right now who did exactly that. Ten people with extraordinary powers to fight where humans can't. They were successful, I'm not gonna lie, but putting people with powers together might not end like Nick thinks. It's dangerous and risky. Nick's heart might be in the right place but his head isn't."
"Still, talk to him. Maybe he might be able to convince your mind."
"Why don't we talk more with Tony on the 24th?"
"Sure. Enjoy the party."
Yeah, unlikely. You head back to the party and see Tony at the bar without Pepper by his side.
"Strike out?" you ask him.
"We almost kissed."
"That's good, right?" The look on Tony's face makes you rethink that. "No?"
"We danced and then we almost kissed. She's not so keen on others thinking she's sleeping with the boss to get higher."
"Ah, I'm sure it'll go away once she realizes no one will care." You look to the side and see Christine making her way over here. "Heads up."
"Wow, Tony Stark and Y/N," Christine says with a smile.
"Fancy seeing you here," Tony chuckles dryly.
"You have a lot of nerve showing up here tonight. Can I at least get a reaction from you?"
"Panic. I would say panic is my reaction."
"Because I was referring to your company's involvement in this latest atrocity."
"Yeah. They just put my name on the invitation. I don't know what to tell you," Tony shrugs.
"I actually almost bought it, hook, line, and sinker."
"We were out of town for a couple of months, in case you didn't hear."
"Is this what you call accountability?" she asks in disgust.
"Wait, what are you talking about?" you interject.
Christine takes out some photos and hands it to Tony.
"It's a town called Gulmira. Heard of it?"
You and Tony look at each other in shock. Gulmira is the town in which Yinsen is from. Tony flips through the pictures that showcase the town in ruins, people who are hurt, and his weapons with the Stark Industries logo as clear as day on the side.
"When were these taken?" you ask.
"Yesterday."
"I didn't approve any shipment," Tony says, pissed.
"Well, your company did."
"We're not his company."
"What she said. Come on."
The only person who might know about this is Obadiah who is outside posing for pictures. Tony angrily walks over to him and pulls him off to the side.
"Have you seen these pictures?" You show him the photos. "What's going on in Gulmira?"
"You two can't afford to be this naive."
"You know what? I was naive before when they said, 'Here's the line. We don't cross it. This is how we do business.'. Are we double-dealing under the table?"
Obadiah looks between you and Tony in thought. He's measuring his next words carefully. He turns to the press with a smile and pulls you two close.
"Come on, let's take a picture!" Obadiah smiles for the camera but you and Tony have angry looks on your faces. "Who do you think locked you out? I was the one who filed the injunction against you two. It was the only way I could protect you."
Obadiah walks away and avoids any comments from the reporters.
"I'm gonna kick his ass," you growl.
"Not here."
It's not smart to attack Obadiah in public view so you have no choice but to leave the party early and head back to his lab.
x
Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)
#tony stark#tony stark fic#tony stark fanfiction#tony stark fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes fan fic#bucky barnes fan fiction#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#marvel fanfiction#marvel#marvel fan fiction#marvel fanfic#mcu fanfiction#mcu#marvel fluff#marvel fic#marvel fan fic#marvel fiction
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tuesday again 10/18/22
look i originally typed "placeholder" which somehow typo'd into "placegilder" and now i'm fascinated by what that concept could possibly be
listening
Romance Without Finance, covered? by? Charlie Parker. for something by one of the founding fathers of bebop it's remarkably difficult to find info on this song.
"wait a minute kay we didn't know you knew anything about jazz" i don't! just enough to be dangerous!
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it's been stuck in my head bc of the lyrics
You so great and you so fine
You ain't got no money you can't be mine
It ain't no joke to be stone broke
Baby you know I ain't lying when I say
Romance without finance is a nuisance
Please please baby give me some gold
cheers i'll drink to that bro
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reading
sat by a river and read one and a half chapters of Mervyn Peake's Titus Groan, bc people keep telling me i would like Gormenghast and this is the first book in the trilogy. after which i threw it in my bag and forgot about it for the rest of the week. this is not a dunk on the book this is just how distractible i am. the style/voice/etc of Mervyn Peake could diplomatically be described as an acquired taste. not sure if i've acquired that taste yet. not that i am unfamiliar with a longwinded fantasy, i've just been reading very short things lately and am experiencing some whiplash.
god we love a font. GOD we love a series of covers that link together. these come to me courtesy of a very nice old man's moving sale, which i happened upon in august? early september? at the end of the day when everything was free. ended up dumping the milk crate of tools in my trunk into the trunk proper and carrying off an overflowing milk crate of paperbacks like this.
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watching
three! tv shows i like are dropping on a weekly basis im in hog heaven (andor, the vampires, chainsaw man)!!!
instead we're going to talk about Werewolf By Night, which was Fine. it's a little marvel halloween special starring one of the eleventy billion comics characters you've never heard of, directed by their longtime composer Michael Giacchino.
i am going to damn it with lukewarm praise and say it's Fine! it's automatically in the top tier marvel products for me bc the fact it is so clearly filmed on a soundstage works in its favor, bc it is one big nod to classic horror. not a pastiche, not a love letter, but many many many visual references. there was only one Joss Whedon Humor Marvel Moment (TM) which i appreciated. i have spent far, far worse hours with this franchise.
excellent opening credits tho. not worth watching if you're a classic horror fan bc it will probably infuriate you, maybe worth watching if you've dropped off the marvel bandwagon and want to check and see if you still like it or not. this is up there with winter soldier for me as far as like. coherence of artistic vision and the ability to confidently tell one story, and it's still Just Okay as a whole.
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playing
this was originally going to be a diatribe about human experimentation in fallout 4. yes yes we all know the vaults are human experiments. that's not what i'm talking about. i would like them to connect the dots between pre-war people vanishing off the street for military human experimentation and post-war vanishing off the street for...industry? experimentation a little more explicitly.
INSTEAD, i did something i never do, which was look for a game to play specifically for the tuesdaypost bc i wanted to talk about something in this slot. so off i went to the New & Noteworthy page.
i played The Looker, which is a parody of awardwinning but insufferable puzzle game The Witness. i have not played The Witness bc i find it insufferable, but i have watched roommates play through chunks of it. The Looker is insufferable in a different way, where (spoilers behind rot13)
vg vf na ubhe ybat ohvyqhc gb n pbpx naq onyyf wbxr.
some of the puzzles are genuinely clever. the laser unfolding in a long sequence that felt like a real life hour made me cackle.
i don't know who this streamer is, or if he's secretly garbage or anything, but this video does contain some of the best bits of the game
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it's about an hour and a half and it's free, what more could you want? the way its mechanics unfold is a successful parody of the highbrow puzzle game genre as a whole (imo), not just The Witness, so if you play this without knowing anything about The Witness do report back in pls
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making fallow week. lots of things simmering away in the background, not a lot of photogenic things happening, many things that are easier to explain as a whole once they're done.
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Re: your comments on there being a lot of underappreciation for the laborer aka people actually working behind the scenes to fully realize kpop concepts beyond the idol, I’ve seen comments floating recently about kpop stans being unhappy that Min Heejin is publicly talking about New Jeans and how she should just fade away now that “her work is done” and they’re popular now.
I’m sure some of this is fed by the dislike of her in some corners of fandom (which is a whole different discussion), but it’s struck me as extremely dismissive of literally everyone’s input to an idols success beyond the idols themselves. I may not be in love with some of the creative choices from the latest new jeans concept, but i honestly wish we got more public input from creative teams on how they are creating the holistic experience of a kpop release rather than less. It’s so interesting to see all the work that goes into it and I always end up appreciating the whole package more when I see that. So it makes me sad to watch people demean all this work that goes into things so they can hold onto this weird delusion that artists are solitary pillars that do it themselves.
i...........why are people unhappy with her saying that...???????? yea she's the head creative but the group isn't literally about her???? it's not like she's gonna vanish??????? i don't even........man what the fuck is happening in kpop stan spaces sometimes.
kpop does have a real issue with pedestalling particular people specifically because literally the idol's job is to be the face of the project. so that combined with the lack of arts education combined with how the kpop industry purposefully protects staff identities exacerbates the problem. at least with intl fans. from what people have told me it's generally pretty acknowledged by the sk gp that kpop is a collective effort and there are big teams involved, and idols are just the face. i do really wish there was more education and ability for production people to talk about their work, but the truth is that most of us work behind the camera for a reason; we're not particularly interested in being in front of it and neither are we interesting or catchy by camera standards. also most of the time we're too busy. there are definitely some places where designers have talked about their processes and how they work (the abstract series on netflix is great for that) and designers will sometimes give talks so if you know names you can go searching for them if they get filmed (also rare sadly), plus there are two big theatre design conventions that happen every two years (prague quadrennial and world stage design, they alternate like the olympics), but a lot of stuff just hasn't spread outside of the industry because people are unwilling to break that auteur myth, again because it weakens the people in positions of power.
#pq is SO fun i went in 2019 and had a fucking blast. i dont think i can go this year but i have to see#like truly i dont think its wrong to have people that take care of marketing + ppl that act as the face of a collaborative project#bc god knows most production people do NOT want to be on stage/camera#but the problem comes from the monolith artist myth and the lack of education around art itself#and also a lot of ppl are not interested in the details of the artmaking process. which is the sad truth#kpop questions#text#answers
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Idk if anyone's reading this stuff (thanks if you do) but it's my blog I guess and I need to get some thoughts off my chest so here is Tangent ramble 1:
I actually kinda dream of one day making a business of designing and selling (hopefully affordable or even accessible via funding! Imagine that! Our problems actually recognized by the rest of society and not swept under the rug to endure more suffering) sustainably/ethical sourced etc 100% pure fabrics for sensitive skin folks.
There is far too much plastic crap out there we're expected to wear against our skin - and while I love how fast polyester dries and some of the finishes they end up with, that's about it. I know that cotton farming and much of the fabric industry in general has its issues (and maybe I'm ignorant/privileged on the matter of the fashion/fabric industry in my 1st world problems, white girl ways) but I think we sensitive skin folks across the privilege-oppression spectrum can all agree that we are sick to death of suffering unnecessarily like this while other people just glide thru life not being in pain everytime they have to dress appropriately/in normal people clothes for being out in public. God that sounds like unadulterated bliss.
Also part of the reason I hate leaving the house lol. Anything I wear that's even mildly comfortable, people think I'm wearing pyjamas? Lol as if I would wear joggers/trackpants to bed, I *only* wear overpriced pyjamas 😅 Wearing trackpants to bed has only ever led to ending up with a lint-filled bed (YUCK) bc those things are always shedding fluffs even after many washes. Not for me, babez. And my "hippie pants"/"elephant pants", they have been mistaken for pyjamas too. They are comfy and I think pure materials but also shed lint. It's like: what the heck CAN I even wear that's actually acceptable to you people (society)??
Fight me on this but I think sweatpants/joggers/trackpants have their place outside the house/in the public eye, like exercising/walking or running errands (I mean it's in the name, why else call them "joggers" if not to go out and jog? Or "sweatpants" if not to go out and sweat? Think about that will ya lol), or even god forbid, folks like me who suffer with sensory/sensitive skin issues to not be in pain, and we shouldn't feel resigned to only wear skin-unfriendly leggings or shorts (which often require hairless legs) to do such activities and more. Being expected to dress uncomfortably outside the house basically amounts to being condemned to being in pain for the sake of strangers, or even our friends - who should ideally want us to not be suffering?
Not to kinkshame, but it's kinda weird that apparently the pain of public embarrassment far surpasses the pain of silently suffering out in society. Sure, sometimes I will go out of my way to look fantastic and impress, but most of the time I'm just trying going about my life trying to survive out there in this tough world - I don't need my clothes literally attacking me too lol.
But then again, what about the simplistic beauty of a person not beholden to the standards of society? Or not suffering for other peoples' sake? Who refuses to put others' unfair demands above their own comfort? That's my jam and as much as I appreciate a "well-put-together person, or brilliant outfit, I really respect the people who choose to be comfortable.
If you're anything like me, you've already dealt with enough shit in this lifetime and deserve to be comfortable, no matter where you are.
Cheers for lending your ear
#autistic#actually autistic#sensory issues#sensitive skin#highly sensitive skin#sensitive skin struggles#potential business venture#if i ever do sort more of my shit out#venting#rambling#Rachel rambles#chronic pain#society standards#unrealistic standards#toxic clothes#toxic fabrics
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Yo hi there! I’m very sorry to bother you at this time of the day, just reaching out if you’d be so kind to check the post that I pinned on my blog and maybe give it a little help by boosting/sharing it? it’s for my cat :((( and we need help to get him the dental care he needs. It would really mean the world to me and I understand if you don’t, still appreciate you and stay safe! and btw, please do send me a msg to reply or answer the ask privately instead as I want avoid other blogs to think im a spambot or what, once again im sorry for asking this, praying you’d consider! 🫶🏽🥹
lmao no
nice scam dumbass
anyway
According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Coming! Hang on a second. Hello? Barry? Adam? Can you believe this is happening? I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. You got lint on your fuzz. Ow! That's me! Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! Hey, Adam. Hey, Barry. Is that fuzz gel? A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive. You did come back different. Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. Hear about Frankie? Yeah. You going to the funeral? No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances. Well, Adam, today we are men. We are! Bee-men. Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15. That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick our job today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. Wonder what it'll be like? A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! That girl was hot. She's my cousin! She is? Yes, we're all cousins. Right. You're right. At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. What do you think he makes? Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. What does that do? Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Can anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Check it out. Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside The Hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. Hey, Jocks! Hi, Jocks! You guys did great! You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!
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I see we're going ape over buddie and Choices tonight so
Yknow in 2.07, when Shannon comes back and her and Eddie have their first scene together? The argument at the end, after Eddie says it wouldn't be a good idea for her to see Christopher bc she left them, she says she needed him, she needed a husband and a co-parent - and "I needed someone to have my back!"
To which EDDIE says, "I always had your back"
*insert Incredibles "coincidence? I think NOT" gif here*
(Also side note, I do like that the show doesn't try to sugarcoat what Shannon did being messed up, and that Eddie's own actions weren't really the right thing either[thinking about his conversation with Buck where he says he got to pretend he left for a noble cause even tho he was running], and that it was just a sticky situation that neither of them were equipped to handle in any way, and snowballed. I do kind of wish we could've gotten post-divorce Shannon and Eddie and Christopher interactions, figuring out how they fit together, if at all, bc I like those intricate and messy situations but I could see how that might get too close to retreading old ground re: Michael and Athena's divorce. But I do hate how ive seen the fandom like. Seem to oversimplify things with Shannon sometimes? And make her the ultimate villain, and Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, Ever)
Hi Anon!
The decision to have Buck and Eddie's first bonding moment end with "You can have my back any day" and "or, y'know, you could have mine" only to then six episodes later find out that at least a contributing factor to Eddie's marriage dissolving was that he "didn't have her back" is like. Such a galaxy brain chaos move for them to take, honestly. Like?? They could've had the phrasing be literally anything in 2x07 but instead they had it directly echo Buck and Eddie in 2x01. What was the reason? Why did they do this?
As for the rest of your ask:
(gosh this got long and, uh, opinionated. It is Not Pretty below the cut)
One of the things I really liked about Eddie Begins is that we did get to see him at the beginning of his journey in being Chris's dad because it gives us an opportunity to appreciate how amazingly he's grown as a father. Like, he didn't start out as a perfect dad and he was definitely kind of lost in the woods at the beginning there when it came to the whole "how do I parent" thing. And before Eddie Begins, we'd only ever seen the end result of the growth he's gone through, where he really is a fantastic dad whose son is basically his entire reason for being. Before Eddie Begins, we get to hear him say things like "I left first" and "I've failed that kid more times than I can count but I love him enough to never stop trying" but we kinda have to take that on faith? Because we hadn't actually seen him be anything besides a good dad until we saw his Begins episode. (And even then in his begins it's like "area man in his early 20s unsure how to care for small child while also coping with PTSD and a toxic support system" which like. yeah. no shit. there's one hell of a learning curve there)
The thing about Eddie and Shannon as a couple and as parents that always gets to me is that they were so fucking young. We don't know exactly how old Eddie is in the show, but we can guesstimate pretty safely that he's around the same age as Ryan which would make him between 23 and 24 when Chris was born, and it seems reasonable to believe Shannon was around the same age. It's also a pretty common reading in the fandom -- although I'm not sure how much canon support there is for it because we really, really don't know anything about their relationship pre-Christopher unless I'm forgetting something -- that they got married because Shannon got pregnant and that was the Done Thing. And when you're 23-24, baby on the way, freshly married, that is just like. So much. It sure as hell ruined my parents' relationship when they did that exact thing, and then they disliked each other until they were 27 and then they got divorced, and no one was happier than me about it, I have to tell you.
Back to the show, I can only give you my impressions, obviously, but the impression I have always gotten from the whole "I left too" conversation and the context that goes into it and the different behaviours we see exhibited by the characters is that Eddie "left" first and it comes across to me that he was basically an early twenty-something kid running scared from the abstract concept of being a father in general, and then when he was forced home by an honourable discharge, and was confronted with the reality of Christopher, he managed to step the fuck up and become Christopher's dad. It's there in 2x02, right? "Oh, you've got a kid? I love kids!" "I love this one." Eddie doesn't strike me as a Swiss Army Knife all-purpose Dad(tm) the way Bobby is. Eddie is Christopher's dad. (and like, of course, he's obviously moved by kids when he's on a call, we've seen that enough times to know that if there's a child who can even glancingly remind him of Christopher, Eddie's sense of self-preservation goes out the window, and I love that about him as heart-stopping as it can be in practice)
Shannon, on the other hand, didn't run from the idea of being a mother -- at first. When she left, it wasn't from the abstract. She left Chris (and "gave up" on Eddie, thanks Helena). She was not running from a concept, she was running from a reality. I think Shannon is a fascinating character to include in a television show as a side character, because she really isn't a one note character. Like, she was unarguably a bad mother, and from what we saw, she was a questionable romantic partner to have (but as you said, anon, Eddie was also not 100% the best romantic partner when he was with Shannon either; their entire relationship so far as I can tell was built on sexual chemistry which, uh, super does not sustain a relationship), but she also seems to have been a devoted daughter? I mean, yeah, it's entirely possible that her mom being sick was a convenient excuse to bail -- and obviously she didn't come back after her mom died, and didn't, y'know, contact her son or husband in the interim, so yes, I can see that being a valid way to read the situation. I don't think she's the Ultimate Evil, because she strikes me as a very human character in all the ways that people are more often than not really fucking flawed.
But then we get back to the actual break-up scene. The first time I watched it (and second, and third; then the fourth time the person I was watching with was like "I mean, sure, but it could also be read in this light") her "I'm just learning how to be someone's mother" speech really bothered me? Partly because it was the abstraction of it, right? Eddie doesn't like kids, he likes Christopher, and Shannon sort of had the inverse journey there, I guess, where it went from she didn't know how to be Christopher's mother, to she didn't know how to be a mother. And that speech bothered me because it always sounded to me like she was bailing again. She begged Eddie to let her back into Christopher's life (guilt? I guess?) and like, straight up bribed him with sex which was sure a choice, and then decides -- for a second time -- that she's out. It sounded, to me, she was handing Eddie papers and maybe, in a few years, possibly, once she'd had "time" to "figure out how to be someone's mother" she would try again. Just like she had in the interim between leaving when Christopher was little and the time of season 2.
And like, that could totally be a misunderstanding of the scene and what she was saying. It's what I took away from it, but that could very well be influenced by the fact I was raised by divorced parents and my dad had custody and if you count up all the time I spent with either parent when I was a minor, I was predominantly raised by my father and have had an especially tempestuous relationship with my mother that is mostly (sometimes) repaired now that I'm in my late twenties and have not lived with her since I was sixteen.
Back to the show, and to your comment that the fandom tends to treat Shannon like the Ultimate Evil and act like Eddie Did Nothing Wrong, I mean. Yeah. Fandom as a rule tends to shirk nuance. We're all fools here on the internet sitting in our blue industrial waste container crying about a wee woo show. I personally believe a more nuanced take on that might be that Eddie has shown a great capacity to learn from his mistakes (sometimes to make fun, shiny, new ones, but for the most part, just like ends up doing better the next time) and Shannon did not show that capacity in the time we knew her.
I think, depending on what they did with it, there was potential for an interesting storyline if they'd played through the divorce. I don't think it would've been rehashing ground covered by Michael and Athena's divorce because I can't see Eddie and Shannon having reached a point of amicability and friendship. The only thing we know they had in common was Christopher, and frankly, when you boil it down, the ways they engaged with Christopher as a person were so disparate that -- to me -- it really didn't seem like they had Christopher in common when you get right down to it. But I wouldn't have wanted to see Christopher and Eddie dragged through an ugly divorce process. They deserve better than that.
There's also a conversation to be had about Shannon's blatant ableism towards her own son, but that is extremely not my lane since I am not disabled myself. But even from an outside perspective, basically their entire parking lot conversation in Haunted, uh, haunts me with it's repugnance and the fact that instead of calling her on any of it, Eddie "Chronically touch starved" Diaz's response was to kiss her? Gosh golly do I wish that was one of the mistakes he learned from properly instead of finding a new, shiny version.
ANYWAY this got long, tl;dr (although if you clicked on the read more, you probably read it) version is No, Shannon is not the Ultimate Evil, she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress; and No, Eddie is not a flawless human who's never done wrong in his life but holy fuck is he trying and he'd be the first person to tell you he's made mistakes (and often has been); and no, sorry, I don't want to see the divorce storyline play out because we probably would've had to see either Eddie Bashing, Shannon Redemption, or Shannon turning up again like a cardboard cut out of a cartoon villain the way Eva did and I want to be witness to exactly zero of those things.
#the ghost ship answers questions#I...honestly don't know what to tag this as#I have thoughts about eddie and shannon's relationship#that are probably unpopular opinions#teal dear she's a shitty mom not a demon in a skin suit and a pretty yellow sundress#and I also don't like her for personal reasons#and eddie is not perfect but I wouldn't want him to be and like seeing him try to improve constantly#and also am personally predisposed to like single dads#also for personal reasons
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Loved the way you went through walls the album and i also agree with how you look at their music. Many of the songs are about industry and closeting and how theyve navigated things both as individuals and together. Through the band and outside of it in their solo careers.
What are your general thoughts about the singles not on the album (just basic thoughts like you did for the songs on the album). I mean the following songs: Back to You, Just Like You, Just Hold On and Miss You.
Also would love a runthrough of Harry's albums/singles in a similar manner whenever you can do one.
Anyways i always love your posts and the way you look at things.
Thank you!! Euuhhh this isn't going to be very impressive. With these 4 he had a different viewpoint / goal in mind when making them as compared to creating Walls. Maybe it's a bit unfair to put all 4 in the same category but I think when he started as a solo artist, coming out of 1D where every high is a high high, he aimed to get that next big hit, and that in between these and Walls that focus shifted. I don't know why I'm explaining this he said it better himself. So then the question becomes if these songs hold the same value in terms of honesty, as he really emphasized how he oh so went for that for Walls, which makes me think perhaps he hadn't so much before. Anyway this is what I think these songs are about:
Just Hold On - That music video man. Gayvinci bluegreener mess. Anyway the lyrics scream I was in a boyband and now I'm going solo to me, and, hm, egh, uh, iiee, thinking of getting that next boppy hit to reintroduce yourself to the public that's a smort way to go? But then on the other hand I totally want to take this entire song quite literal: darling just hold on, things are weird right now wtf was 2015 wtf is 2016 but we're going to make it through and find that new chapter in our life that's going to be better.
Back To You - the fucking music industry is fucked up man but i still really wanna make and release music
Just Like You - Ok so this one compared to the others maybe deserves his own category. This one really looks like he poured his shit into, with more personal touches as compared to the other ones in this list. And I do think these lyrics are sincere, I'm just a human with feelings none of that is a trick lol but I also think that hiLGBTQcommunityhihowareyoutodaydidyousleepwellyesahgreat is totally between the lines there as well. that's a light way to say it does feel like a cry from the closet And even if it isn't in the lyrics he sure made it so when he released it on national coming out day.
Miss You - Wow party! Whuuww!!! There are very little personal details in it which makes me think it's just a concept, a story. I mean it's personal in the sense that it fits his narrative amazingly, like party boy louis partying wow but wait there's more he had to realise he had lost the love of his life! ELEANORRRRR!!!! But it could go either way and it's pretty shit to go "that other song that fits my idea of him is real, this one that doesn't is a story" but like Miss You does feel like that "half of the story" you do hear which Just Like You describes is not him, doesn't it? It just sounds like an attempt at a bop to me (which still doesn't mean it can't be autobiographical as well). I can very much appreciate all the "pretend" and "lying" and "faking" and those kinda lil themes in there tho like hmm are you trying to hint at something there hmm. But like I said maybe I'm not being fair here and it is autobiographical and they did split up and this is his very public cry that he misses STsYLE whooooooknows.
(Related: the post doing the same but with the Walls album)
#as for harry's music maybe another time!#send an other ask ill forget alksjdlaksjw#you might hear back in a month.#or tomorrow#or not at all#its a gamble#miss you#back to you#just like you#just hold on
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Intensity in Insmire | A Jurdan AU
Happy Holidays to my wonderful knife wife @starborn-faerie-queen!! I’m so lucky to have you as my friend and now snusband (we’re def married now) <3 I was so excited to see that I got to try and write something for you. I also have to thank everybody in the @jurdannet discord for helping me with my writer’s anxiety throughout, and @jurdannetrevels for hosting this secret santa event!
So this was a prompt you didn’t ask for, but that I hope you will like. I thought of this right when I saw your name and have had a blast making it a reality. One of our first conversations in the discord was about none other than Lauren Layne, so I thought I’d give it my best go at making it Jurdan. I picked what I think of as the iconic scene in Passion on Park Avenue because Jude and Cardan literally define passion. You also put Nicaryn, so in my head when I wrote this they’re already dating and Jude just hasn’t noticed.
"Be careful, you're going to drop that!" Jude said watching her twin throw down yet another box full of her merchandise.
It was times like these that Jude wondered about her choice in friends. Not that she had so many choices in friends to begin with, something about her being "abrasive". People may not always appreciate her edges, but that edge is what landed her on the 30 under 30 list. She was grateful, if not confused, about her new-found friendships. While the ladies made for excellent company, and fellow schemers in action, a moving company they were not. Not that Jude would say a word against their help out loud. She was still so grateful to have her twin back in her life.
Jude would thank Locke for bringing them together, if she'd thought it was even remotely a part of his plan. Maybe she could thank him for dying, so that they could find each other in the park that fateful day. Not likely, she had better people to think on.
Nicasia kicked a box into the corner with the toe of her Louboutin heels, "You worry too much, they're not going to break because I didn't gingerly place every single one of your hundreds of boxes down."
"I'm not worried about you breaking an accessory," Jude said huffing as she moved to open the box Nicasia had kicked to prove a point. She held up the lipstick tube, twisting to expose the blade to prove her point. "I'm worried about one of my accessories breaking you."
"Oh, I like that," Taryn laughed, her eyes widening, "Can I borrow that for my next date?"
"Well, it is just a sample," Jude nodded her head to the truck parked outside her new building, "You can keep it if you help me unload the rest of the truck."
"You drive a tough bargain, a days labor in exchange for one accessory?" Nicasia teased.
Jude put one hand to her heart and the other to her forehead dramatically, "Oh you're truly suffering going up and down the elevator while carrying small boxes."
"These boots were not exactly made for walking Jude," Nicasia said flicking her hair over her shoulder, and punctuating it with an all too casual check of her nails. Why she wouldn't just concede to putting her hair up was beyond frustrating to Jude. She wasn't sure if she hated or respected Nicasia's commitment to always looking perfect.
"I mean I didn't get to where I was by giving things away for free, but I may have also ordered us pizza and tiramisu from the Italian place on Lexington Ave."
"Ahh I knew you were my favorite twin!" Taryn said wrapping her arms around Jude and kissing her cheek with an exaggerated smack.
"I'm your only twin, and you definitely did not know it."
"The real question isn't why I can't move things in these heels, it's why you think I should be doing this in the first place," Nicasia said glancing speculatively.
"Wait, yeah, aren't you meant to be rich now Jude?"
"Well, according to my accountant, approximately I am," Jude tilted her head and pretended to tally with her free hand, "filthy rich." She moved the box that had been hoisted on her hip onto the floor of what would be the main living area.
Jude wasn't insane, the larger items like the couch and industrial garment racks would be delivered by a moving company later. She just knew that she could handle the smaller boxes herself. She'd always survived by being self-sufficient, so she wasn't going to start changing what was working now. She'd moved herself into her first shoe box apartment, all her belongings compact and loaded into the back of her ancient little two door.
"Then why on earth are we moving all of this by hand?" Taryn said turning to her sister, exasperated to see the determination gracing her twin's face. She hated that look, especially when it was on the face that was practically her own under all that stubbornness. "Nic, I need backup here, we're entering dangerously uncharted areas in stupidity. "
"Jude, love, remember when we agreed to stop each other from entering another toxic relationship?" Nicasia said gently, her hands up as if coaxing a small animal.
"No, I've blocked out the entirety of Locke's funeral out of a sense of self-preservation," she said voice and face purposefully blank.
"Why stop there, why not erase him from your entire mind?" Taryn said a bitter edge to her words.
Jude laughed, "Me and my therapist are hard at work doing just that."
"Well while you're working on that, have her work on the toxic relationship you've got with your stupid pride," Nicasia said checking her already perfect nails.
"Wait, was all of that just the set up for the punchline to your dumb joke?"
"Woah Tar, harsh words from the woman who asked for my backup in the first place." Nicasia pursed her lips clearly displeased that Taryn had not enjoyed her attempts at humor. "Maybe you should try being nicer to me considering that I have the power to save you from Jude's torture."
Jude laughed as Taryn started to pester Nicasia to tell her what she meant. While they'd all become fast friends on the fateful day of the funeral, Jude couldn't help but feel that Nicasia and her twin had gotten closer over the summer. She supposed it had to do with the fact that they both had to worry about their reputations and what the fallout from Locke's infidelity would do to it.
That old wound started niggling at Jude again. She may not have been in an official New York society relationship with the man, but she'd had to mourn the loss too. She supposed it hadn't affected her societal standing, being Locke's dirty secret, but she hadn't gotten out unscathed. The bastard had known about her fears. She'd confided in him, about her mother's cheating and how she'd grown up not wanting to get attached for fear of ending up in a similarly messed up situation.
He'd comforted her, talking about how cheating on somebody wasn't in her character. He'd spelled out what their story could be instead, spinning a story of comfort, safety in his arms, and safety in that future. It made Jude's skin crawl to think about now. How he could say all of this while cheating on her with Nicasia and Taryn, and using her to cheat on them. Some nights it actually made her physically ill. She was such a careful woman, and yet she'd never suspected.
She wondered if lying to her was part of the game to him, it had to be. Jude thought about how she'd considered bridging the gap and calling Taryn to tell her that she'd met somebody. She'd been too scared to reopen that wound. At eighteen Jude walked away from the stifling role of being Madoc's daughter. She hadn't thought about what leaving Taryn behind to deal Madoc's only other eligible daughter would do. She left her behind for him to put all of his stupid high society rules and dreams into. She'd wondered about her twin over the years, but could never pick up the phone and just dial. What would things be like if she had? Thinking about it wouldn't change anything.
During Jude's musings Taryn had moved into Nicasia's lap and was switching between pleading and apologizing. Her groveling was so over the top that a warm spot bloomed in Jude's chest while watching her. She had no idea how much she'd missed Taryn, and yet having her take up space in her apartment just felt right.
"Okay, okay, fine!" Nicasia said standing up and taking Taryn with her. "I happen to have a friend through the New York royalty network, as you call it, and he lives in this very apartment complex."
"Oh thank god, I love you Judie Bee Jones, but this is the worst."
"Woah no, I never agreed to having anybody over," Jude said walking over to lock her door, "and wasn't the point of having you ladies around to avoid the assholes."
"How can you call them an asshole when you don’t even know who it is?" Nicasia asked unlocking the door. Jude went to stop her, but Taryn simply took her face in her hands and pointed it towards the window where the open moving truck stood idle.
"I promise he's good people, we grew up together," Nicasia said clearly forgetting that her and Jude had not exactly grown up as friends.
Jude did not have much of a chance to consider who might be coming to the rescue she did not need, as there was a knocking at the door.
The warmth she felt from being with her friends left her the second she opened the door and saw Cardan Greenbriar standing there. She'd never seen Cardan look anything less than impeccable, so she was even more furious to see him standing there looking like a Saks Fifth Avenue model from the catalog to help her move. A cable knit sweater, really, to move boxes. With an overcoat no less. No, no, this couldn't possibly be happening. Jude would rather move every single box one by one, than have Cardan Greenbriar help her.
What on earth could have even possessed him to try. She thought she'd made it clear when she'd damn near bitten his head off in her "entry interview" to the apartment complex. It wasn't her fault. Cardan had a particular way of getting under her skin, and the fact that he'd known her from her twin and had not even bothered to look at the application resting in his hand the entire interview had gotten her blood boiling. She'd never actually wanted to live in Elfhame.
The stupid application had been filled out for her and sent in by her mother ages ago. Eva Duarte had been so proud of Jude's success, it had never occurred to her that her mother had plans to use it as a statement. She'd miss her mother's mean streak, and wished she'd been around longer so Jude could understand this plan. Jude had been shocked to be called in for the interview to move into The Palace, and caught completely off guard to see Cardan on the day of the interview.
She must've released an actual snarl at seeing him darkening her new doorstep because Taryn and Nicasia pried her away from the door and invited him to come in. This was ridiculous ; she was not a rabid dog to be put in the corner. Although, she was considering biting Cardan.
"And hello to you too Jude," Cardan said laughing as she struggled to break free of the grip of her friends, "Lovely as ever to see you."
"Why am I seeing you?"
Cardan raised an eyebrow at that, "Not a very friendly greeting neighbor."
"I read over the paperwork your father sent over and it said that the building takes care of pests in the apartments."
"Ha ha, very funny Jude," Cardan said stalking closer, "I do hope that's true, as I'd love to see them take you out of here."
"Really, we're going to resort to I know you are but what am I?" Jude intoned, "On day one?"
“Is this really our first day together, Judiebeet?"
"Don't call me that!"
"As much as I do love seeing you upset my sweet villain," he said trailing a finger over her cheeks, "I didn't come to pick a fight." Jude knew her cheeks had to be bright red, she always got flushed when she was mad. She hated that he had command over her, more than she appeared to have over her own body. Which only made her more upset when he called her that stupid name.
"Why did you come, I had demon summoning scheduled for later in the day," Jude said ignoring the looks Nicasia and Taryn were shooting her.
"I was informed of a damsel in distress, and princely duties demanded that I come to your aid."
"Oh no, that's it," Jude turned on her friends glaring, and pointing at the door while practically shoving Cardan out, "Everybody out, I'll move them all myself."
"Wait, but I brought champagne," Cardan said materializing a bottle from the inside of his coat.
"Jude you can't kick the man out, he brought Dom," Taryn said pulling Cardan back into the apartment by his arm. Jude watched as he re-entered what was meant to be her space, unwilling to fight with Taryn.
"Fine, but if he's here he works," Jude said looking at Cardan as if to say 'unless you've got a problem with that.' The Cardan she knew would never deign to do a day's labor on his own. Always calling somebody his father employed to do things for him instead. So Jude was shocked when all he did was set the actually quite nice bottle on the counter, and gesture his hand towards the door with a look that said 'after you'.
Jude was not sure if she was pleased or pissed off when Cardan actually matched her for work ethic for the rest of moving. He eventually took off the coat, and the sweater, tossing them on the counter with his welcome gift. Jude wished he had not, as she'd been determined to carry more than him before that. She would have managed it too, if he had not rolled up his white dress shirt to the direct center of his forearm. Where it hugged just below his elbow as he worked.
She dropped one of her merchandise boxes when his arm brushed hers while reaching for another, shocked by the contact of his skin hot against her own. Furious with herself for the look that graced his face when she cursed and picked up the box, she decided to be less ambitious with how much she carried.
They had not actually had all that many boxes left. Which made it all the more traitorous that Nicasia had called in for help. As the work dwindled Nicasia and Taryn gave up the pretense of pretending to want to help move the boxes, and sat on the benches that were near the building's entrance. They sat close talking and laughing quietly at each others jokes. Jude could be funny too, but her humor was more dry and wicked. Just as Jude was sprinting to get the very last box, the pizza delivery driver had pulled up to the curb.
Taryn had gone from commiserating with Nicasia, to giving Jude puppy eyes in 10 seconds flat. Jude laughed softly as she went to go pay the man. Her path was blocked by Cardan who'd made a beeline for the car as it pulled in, while she'd been distracted. If she hadn't been so focused on his damn arms she might have missed how he went to get his wallet from his back pocket. Hell no.
Jude stood one shot at having Taryn and Nicasia not mention her attitude since Cardan walked in, and that was to buy their silence. Nothing says be on my side like hot pizza and good dessert. Which is why she was going to pay for it. Cardan was already handing the man a crisp bill when Jude went to shift the box she'd been holding to under one arm. God, she hated him so much. She'd already missed out on getting to bond with her friends over how annoying moving was because of him, and now he was going to ruin their meal too?
He'd already ruined Jude's childhood, but she was an adult now, and he would not even get a single day from her. She grabbed the boxes of her food and walked to the elevator clicking the button for her floor and slamming on the door close button before he could follow. She walked into her apartment, and she would've locked Cardan out if it not for the fact she had to wait on Taryn and Nicasia to follow. If she had to face him again today, it was going to be on her terms and her rules.
Jude moved to the boxes now all neatly lined up in what would be her living room. She scanned the barcode stickers on the top of the boxes, each item had been carefully cataloged so that she could be sure that she didn't lose anything important in the move. Downsides to owning and running a successful companies that sold accessories with a dangerous edge? There was so much inventory to keep track of.
She found what she was looking for and swapped her sneakers for stilettos. She'd love to see Cardan try to look down on her when they were eye level. She'd give a new meaning to the term glaring daggers. She was perfectly capable of paying for a damn pizza.
The door of her apartment opened and Cardan strolled in, his arm around each of her friends. Jude let out a breath that his shirt had been set back to normal, although she was not sure if she was relieved.
"Really, my own twin?" she said putting a hand on her hip and looking at Taryn who moved, hands up, to sit on the counter top.
"Jude, he got us pizza, please be reasonable," Taryn said in a placatory tone.
"I got you pizza, this interloper just stole it because pizza is joy, and he can't let me have it."
"You need to stop, you're hangry and turning into rude Jude," Nicasia teased using the family nickname she knew Jude hated. That was just low, she'd revealed that in a 2 A.M. group chat. Which every woman knows means it’s classified information.
She was being rude, she knew, but well...frankly he started it. Years ago, but she was a petty elephant and would not forget.
"Fine, have a slice of pizza and then get the fuck out."
When Nicasia and Taryn turned their looks at her, Jude just blinked her eyes slowly a few times. She had never claimed to be a saint.
"Can I at least get a drink before you kick me out on my ass?" Cardan asked the corner of his mouth upturned.
"Nope, sorry," Jude started and feeling her friends angry stares added, "I just moved in, and I haven't stocked the fridge yet."
"Well, then it's lucky for us my friend was kind enough to drop in to christen the home with champagne," Nicasia said as she made remove the muselet. Jude watched her carefully grip the wire as she twisted it off with effortless ease, and admired her friends grace. Jude would've likely embarrassed herself biting at it. She'd been served champagne at events, but it always came in a glass if she was honest.
With the sound of the popping cork her control of the apartment got further away from her. She watched as the three of them opened cupboards and looked at an empty counter top as if expecting glassware to simply appear. Jude knew she could easily scan the boxes and find her glassware, but business had taught her to spot an opportunity.
"Oh darn, it seems like we can't get you that drink after all."
"Yes, you seem very forlorn about it," Cardan said shaking his head at her, amusement in those dark eyes.
Jude gave him a mock apologetic shrug of her shoulders, lips pulled to one side of her mouth. The amusement in his eyes turned to challenge. Unbeknownst to Jude, Cardan's newest hobby was complicated jigsaw puzzles. He had needed something to do while being able to keep an eye on his father, and he found that once he started he just couldn't resist figuring out how the pieces fit together. She'd just presented him with his newest game, and he was going to figure out her pieces.
"Don't worry my darling, like I said we're neighbors now," smiling when Jude scowled at the pet name, "I can just head to my place, and get us some glasses."
It was clear that he'd gotten under Jude's skin when she stalked towards Nicasia and took the bottle from her, and into her own hands. Nicasia just looked at Taryn, and whatever that look meant Taryn must have understood. She moved to the edge of the counter top and invited Nicasia into the circle of her legs, resting her chin on her the top of the other woman’s head.
"How very unfortunate for high-born little princes like you, that you can only sip champagne from the finest of glasses."
She looked right into his eyes as she began glugging the expensive bubbly from the bottle and drinking it like watered down beer. She raised an eyebrow at him as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
"I do hope I haven't offended you Cardan," she said snarling out his name as if it was foul, "I'd hate to scare you off from ever visiting again."
"Not at all, I'm quite charmed by your lovely manners," he said walking over to where she stood by Nicasia. "Do not expect others to share my depraved tastes," he said taking the bottle from Jude's firm grip and drinking directly while their gazes stayed locked in a battle of wills.
"Nic, you feel like we're interrupting something here?" Taryn said from where she sat inches away. It shocked Jude out of her stupor, and her sister hopped off the counter as Jude made to reach for her. She was suddenly stricken, it was all fine and well to hurt Cardan, but she wouldn't lose Taryn again. Not when she just got her back.
"Ugh I thought you'd never ask, this is all too straight for me," Nicasia said taking Taryn's hand and making for the door.
"Wait guys, don't go--"
"Nope, text us when you're ready to act like a person again," Nicasia said laughing as the door shut behind their quickly retreating figures.
"Way to go, you scared them off with your stupid smoldering thing."
"Jude, I think you'll find I'm not the one in the wrong here, although I am delighted to hear you think I smolder," Cardan said backing away from her.
"I meant that stupid staring," she started but trailed off when she noted his smug face.
"Jude, all I've done today is bring you a housewarming gift and offer help at my friends request."
Jude opened her mouth to protest about the pizza slight, but stopped as she'd realized she'd just dig herself into a deeper hole. All he'd really done was cover her food for her and her friends. Was it possible that her childhood tormentor really had come here without the intent of torturing her. She'd been too caught up in trying to catch his next move, that it hadn't occurred to her. He’d clearly taken her silence to mean something else, because he went to gather his coat and sweater.
"Look, it's clear you don't want me here and I'm not actually trying to hold you hostage in your own apartment."
Jude's pride stopped her from correcting him. She'd been working so hard to get him to leave, that she couldn't exactly walk back her position now. She wanted to though, she wanted to grab him by those rather toned arms and hold him in place. To explain herself or make him explain himself, she wasn't sure. Instead she nodded her agreement, and silently watched him leave. She watched as he walked down the hall, opening and then closing his door. Only then did she finally unfreeze from her doorway and shut her own door.
She sat for about 30 minutes just trying to process all that had just happened. She was not sure when she'd become the villain in this story, but she didn't enjoy the feeling. He was the bully, not her. If his actions today were to be trusted, maybe not even him any longer. Jude stood up suddenly confident in her movements as she scanned the boxes searching for her glasses. She hadn't actually moved everything today, so all she was able to find was some coffee mugs. She looked down at her "I Rule" coffee cup, it'd have to do.
Jude went to where the remains of the bottle was left on the counter, and poured it into the cup. She wouldn't apologize, as she was not truly sorry. Even if he was not the menace he used to be, one day of rudeness was the least of what he'd deserved. She did however write what she'd call her concession. She'd apologized for the coffee mug. The note told him that while her fine Waterford Crystals were still in storage, it should taste just as good coming out of a mug. Jude left the note under the cup, and knocked on his door before leaving.
#if you hate the story I’m sorry but at least you have a cute edit#that was braggy about the edit....but it have lotta color so i like it#matching watches or shoes wasn't very them#so i figured the accorn like Jude found in the book#also i made Nicasia's hair slightly blue in the edit#uhh mostly just dying about the words#i don't normally publish anything#i was considering chickening and just giving the edit#but your secret santa box and note were too damn loving and supportive#damn you#if you love it can i be Mrs. Starborn?#I know the position of Mr. Starborn is taken#but I love you so please consider opening a secondary position#if i could send you a box of cartoon hearts i would#jurdan#jurdannet#jurdannetrevels#secret snusband#jurdan fic
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International Women's Day: Mamamoo Edition
Just because I thought "Why not?" If you you're involved with Mamamoo, every single day feels like a Women's Day. And here are the reasons why 👇🏻
Kim Yongsun - Solar
When we're talking about women empowerment in K-Pop or the music industry in general, I hardly can think of a better role model than Kim Yongsun. She's not only Mamamoo's oldest member and their leader, she's also a very supportive and thoughtful person who always cares about everyone and everything around her.
Her YouTube channel Solarsido demonstrates her versatility as singer, entertainer, dancer, choreographer etc. and she pleases her fans with a lot of diverse content. Once in a while she shows her incredible dance skills, the other day she exposes her way of learning English. But what's really impressive about her YouTube channel is that she raises awareness about serious issues and social causes:
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In honor of “Expectant Mother’s Day”, Solar volunteered to help watch her friend Eun Song’s newborn baby. Solar volunteered to help watch her friend Eun Song’s newborn baby. While she did struggle a bit, her sharing the experience was illuminating about what mothers go through on a daily basis! ©Koreaboo
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Solar joined forces with Dongdaemun Senior Welfare Center and social worker Jung Soo Bin to donate roughly 2,200 lbs of kimchi to underprivileged elderly. She even delivered some of the boxes in person, making the gesture even more meaningful! ©Koreaboo
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On the “International Day of Zero Tolerance for Female Genital Mutilation”, Solar used her large platform to raise awareness of the violence women around the world experience as victims of FGM. ©Koreaboo
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Also, did I mention that Solar stands for gender neutrality? I think we all remember that time she ripped off her shirt during their 4seasons 4 colors concerts and when she was invited to perform live at KBS! She explained, “Afer seeing many male idols ripping their shirts on stage, I wondered, ‘Why can’t girls do that too?‘”
There's a lot more to say about her so if you don't know much about Solar or Mamamoo in general, make sure to check them out. You won't regret it.
Moon Byulyi - Moonbyul
One of the best examples for gender neutrality and music diversity in K-Pop might be Miss Moon Byulyi.
With her latest solo comeback "Dark side of the Moon", she wrote a new history in K-Pop. Bold in both sound and style, Moonbyul takes the stage with "Eclipse" and uses it to show off her duality as both a singer and rapper over its forceful melody and brash beats. Accompanied by the release of a captivating music video where the artist is seen both as a soldier and a queen, “Eclipse” revels in Moonbyul’s skills as a performer, and also continues Mamamoo’s legacy as an act that constantly relays different ideas of feminine strength through their music. ©Billboard
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Moonbyul is successfully redefining fashion’s outdated gender norms by wearing suits and breaking the beauty standards of K-Pop PERFECTLY. But Byulyi also has her soft sides. Her sincere love for Mamamoo and Moomoos is just precious and she never misses a chance to show her support and love for her members and fans. On Fancafe, she helped Moos who went through hard times and in her private life, family and friends play a central role which she proudly shows by her many tattoos.
I personally love her for her way of spreading self-confidence and a strong self-esteem. Be it by her self-composed songs or by simply talking with fans during Fanmeetings and on Vlive, she always motivates us to love ourselves!
Make sure to follow her on Instagram!
Jung Wheein - Wheein
Wheein was born to shine. But she was also born to be a great role model and here is why.
Fronting Soar, Wheein's first-ever solo single album, “Good Bye,” or “Let’s Break Up” as it reads literally in Korean, is a poignant track that rises and falls with Wheein's dynamic delivery of the song, as soft rock instrumentals build the melody up around her powerful vocals.
"Good Bye" was released through a heart-rendering music video that depicts a rare representation of same-sex love in K-pop. Featuring a woman entering the home of a couple, she treats it as if it’s her own and play-acts being in a relationship, while becoming enraged and destroying signs of the pair being together, seemingly out of jealousy. ©Billboard
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In addition, Wheein explained that the shape of love doesn't matter to her, it's all the same. For me as a member of the LGBTQ+ community, Wheein's statement means a lot and I'm so happy about her support and understanding!
During the "Secret Unnie" filming with SNSD's Hyoyeon, Wheein also talked about the pressure of Korean beauty standards and her struggles of feeling left behind, a feeling all of us can relate to.
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Whenever Wheein shows her vulnerable sides, it always carries an important message to her fans. I love her because she's simply being herself without trying to be someone she isn't. Wheein is one of the most humble artists I've ever met, she's an inspiration and a great emotional supporter.
Ahn Hyejin - Hwasa
I guess since she became THE it-girl of 2018, 2019 and probably 2020 also, everyone should be aware of how much of an amazing person she is. Here are the reasons why she is my number one queen.
Everything started with twit, her first solo song which quickly became a very popular song in SK. Her prowess as one of K-pop’s most dynamic singers carries throughout the song, a true show of her impressive talent as she addresses, mocks really, a lover who is giving too much to someone who doesn’t deserve it. ©Billboard
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"If I don't fit in this generation's standard of beauty, I will have to become a different standard"
Who doesn't remember her most famous quote? I think a lot of people appreciate her for her very strong self-esteem and just being the way she is. Just like Wheein and the rest of Mamamoo, she's very humble and down to earth.
What I love the most about her is her attitude. Hwasa called out her haters in their latest comeback album "reality in BLACK" and doesn't hesitate to tell the whole world how much she loves to be herself.
What can I say, there's so much more I want to tell about her but the best way to get to know her is to watch the whole Mamamoo related content and ofc her solo activities, for example her appearance in "I live alone"
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All in all we have to admit that she's the most badass queen ever who deserves the whole world. And it's our obligation to protect her from all the unnecessary hate. She has just the sweetest personality and even though she acts like a tough person, she can get hurt just like every other human on this planet.
Mamamoo isn't only a group of talented singers. They're very unique and special women with big hearts and a lot of love and support for their family, friends and fans. K-Pop is a strict and sometimes scary music business but even so, Mamamoo manages to be such great role models and one of the most humble celebrities I ever got to know!
#I could spend the whole day talking about Mamamoo#But it would never be enough time to mention all the great things they did#Mamamoo is just amazing in every aspect I can think of#I dedicate this to the international women's day and Mamamoo#Mamamoo#international women's day#mamamoo solar#moonbyul#Wheein#Hwasa
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According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little. Barry! Breakfast is ready! Ooming! Hang on a second. Hello? - Barry? - Adam? - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up. Looking sharp. Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those. Sorry. I'm excited. Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son. A perfect report card, all B's. Very proud. Ma! I got a thing going here. - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me! - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye! Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house! - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry. - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation. Never thought I'd make it. Three days grade school, three days high school. Those were awkward. Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive. You did come back different. - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good. - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah. - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going. Everybody knows, sting someone, you die. Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead. I guess he could have just gotten out of the way. I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day. That's why we don't need vacations. Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances. - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are! - Bee-men. - Amen! Hallelujah! Students, faculty, distinguished bees, please welcome Dean Buzzwell. Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of... ...9:15. That concludes our ceremonies. And begins your career at Honex Industries! Will we pick ourjob today? I heard it's just orientation. Heads up! Here we go. Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times. - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary. Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group. This is it! Wow. Wow. We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life. Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive. Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey! - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin! - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins. - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence. These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology. - What do you think he makes? - Not enough. Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman. - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions. Oan anyone work on the Krelman? Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot. But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life. The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that. What's the difference? You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years. So you'll just work us to death? We'll sure try. Wow! That blew my mind! "What's the difference?" How can you say that? One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make. I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life. But, Adam, how could they never have told us that? Why would you question anything? We're bees. We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth. You ever think maybe things work a little too well here? Like what? Give me one example. I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about. Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach. Wait a second. Oheck it out. - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow. I've never seen them this close. They know what it's like outside the hive. Yeah, but some don't come back. - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks! You gu
To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand Rick and Morty. The humor is extremely subtle, and without a solid grasp of theoretical physics most of the jokes will go over a typical viewer's head. There's also Rick's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation - his personal philosophy draws heavily from Narodnaya Volya literature, for instance. The fans understand this stuff; they have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these jokes, to realize that they're not just funny- they say something deep about LIFE. As a consequence people who dislike Rick and Morty truly ARE idiots- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in Rick's existencial catchphrase "Wubba Lubba Dub Dub," which itself is a cryptic reference to Turgenev's Russian epic Fathers and Sons I'm smirking right now just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as Dan Harmon's genius unfolds itself on their television screens. What fools... how I pity them. 😂 And yes by the way, I DO have a Rick and Morty tattoo. And no, you cannot see it. It's for the ladies' eyes only- And even they have to demonstrate that they're within 5 IQ points of my own (preferably lower) beforehand.
#fight copypastas with copypastas#tag later#copypasta#asks#not queue#if u want to know wtf is going on check notes
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