#SOMEONE HELP ME I AM AT THE BRINK OF GOING ABSOLUTELY INSANE | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inlocusmads · 2 years

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This is Me. No, Seriously. And some thoughts:

First off, I am truly sorry for leaving without a word. I hope this post sort of clarifies a few things about why I had this sudden amazing urge to delete everything and walk off. The short version is, I'm surprisingly not doing okay.

Yes, this is me. Mads. You can put down your magnifying glasses now! I deactivated my account and went limbo for a week, succumbed to outside pressures and such and just couldn't help it. It was one of those days where I'd reached a point, you know? Where I was like, "Okay. This is it. I'm walking away."

If you guys didn't know before, I am a writer! Yes, not only do I write fanfics, but I have a couple of original works too. And I also have terrible anxiety. A few days ago, there was this happening in the fandom and things were said and I heavily regretted my words. I had this horrible feeling that I pissed off a ton of people and on the internet, it is very easy to drive someone mad. There's always going to be happy people and not so happy people and I should've definitely considered that before talking and sharing some possibly hurtful opinions.

But that isn't the reason! The main reason is, I'm just not doing okay! There's so much uncertainty in my life and though writing and art and all these things gave me some clarity, I always had this sickening doubt that it wasn't going to last very long. And struggling with quite a load of "hard times" shall we say, I just couldn't take it any longer. My mental health was literally down the drain and I no longer found happiness in doing what I want to do.

And when you're driven to the brink of insanity, to the point where you'd delete your works (the hours and effort put into them) and it is just reduced to ashes within a matter of seconds, it becomes somewhat of a serious problem. I've always struggled with work and have a bad case of self-sabotage, IRL and in the internet. But the damages are worse in real life and academics and health take a huge toll. I wasn't doing okay at all for a couple of months and I just assumed this would be a "kill switch". To have a fresh start and restart from checkpoint or something like that.

But I couldn't do that. Not when I'd done a bunch of stuff. It took me a fair amount of time; a week to kind of process what happened. And I know it is just a "silly little internet blog" and a couple of fanfics, but this and many other instances has set this precedent where I just want to crawl into a hole, cry as much as I could and wake up to this fresh day where I can try again. I couldn't do that for two reasons:

My effort and time that have gone into writing things.

The good people here that need no introduction.

So yes. I'm not doing okay lol. I just assumed I could just push through it, but I just couldn't. Things were becoming a lot more difficult. I couldn't think. I couldn't sleep properly. And worst of all, I'd just sabotaged myself once again because I assumed either I wasn't "deserving" of it or I felt like I've done something wrong. Like this sickening feeling, you know?

I'm pretty sure I've pissed off a lot of people and I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you! I promise. I'm trying to get better at understanding what I want, trying to better myself back at home. But it is a hard change to process. You wouldn't know the severity of your actions until way later. And yet at this moment, I have the same sickening feeling.

Now I won't go into very detailed reasons, because mental health talks can be quite sensitive and I really don't want to go into that conversation right now. My intention is not to "grab people's attention" or "stir up drama" and just offer an explanation as to why I'm not doing well and why I don't think I'll be very well. Plus, it is a personal subject and it is really not appropriate to you for me to drag anyone into this.

Who am I?

An absolute clown who deleted all her blog, her fanfictions and left and now has come crawling back because she clearly knows fanfictions are her only form of catharsis and is now knee-deep in a sea of thoughts (and not the good kind!)

Whew. That was a long sentence!

What happened to my works?

I didn't just delete my Tumblr blog, but I deleted all of my backups. Yes. I really went that insane XD! Google Drive, Docs, Canva edits, everything is at present, permanently deleted. And I mean, completely erased. Yes, I did delete them. Please put down your "MADS ARE YOU INSANE?!" comments because I am very aware of that!

I hope I can salvage some of my works through people's reblogs by stalking them lol, but I don't think it'd bear fruit. Mostly because Tumblr has this annoying "keep reading" thing where if you want to access the original post, you have to visit their blog and my blog is.. well.. deleted. So.. there.

Will I rewrite them from scratch?

I remember all of their premises and titles, but let's be real, my memory's pretty crap. I don't know, honestly. Maybe I'll rewrite the ones I really enjoyed and avoid putting pressure on this whole thing. I wanted fanfic to be a chill sort of experience; talking, reading, goofing off, but my brain had other plans.

Damn you, cerebrum!

Am I coming back from the dead? When will I keep writing again?

I'm gonna have to pace myself for sure. It'll happen when it happens.

Writing's a nice hobby for me, so I think it'd be a while before I quit it completely.

Am I going to be okay?

Yes. I'll be fine. I really don't want to draw people's attention to this very rant-y sensitive-y, ooey gooey feelingsy post , so I'm going to be disabling the reblogs. Honestly my mental health kind of sucks lately and I haven't sought out help. (I'm really heading for disaster, aren't I?)

But I am getting slowly better at the "think before you act" thing. I hope this doesn't happen again and I don't just go away. I'm kind of glad that my brain came to its senses and told me to knock it off. But the chances are, it is not going to be a permanent change. I'll try my best at being a good person, I suppose and not drag everyone into my messes! I'll also try to talk about things, assess them and maybe take better care of my health and not try to sabotage myself? I dunno. That's like asking a cheetah to stop running so fast.

But I'll pace myself in this regard. I know, fandoms are not something to get all worked up over, but it is real life at play here. My hobbies, academics, interests and others are just really unfortunate to be earning the short end of the stick.

Am I going to try and recover my works?

Maybe. I am not proud of them, but I do plan on trying to retrieve some of them. I love the process of it more than the finished product, so I really want to try and salvage some of them to calm my head into thinking I made a proper, wise decision for once.

You can't expect everyone to root for you, because you have to root for yourself.. at the very root of the problem (Ha!).

Is everything okay for me?

Yes. Okay.

I am truly sorry. I know this stupid explanation probably doesn't make sense and there's tons of stuff out there and I'm just a sitting duck here lol. But I hope for good things.

Things are.. hard at home to say the least. Fandoms and real life cannot mix. They're immiscible. Like oil and water, because things will soon get ugly.. which lead to big Apology Posts at 3 in the morning, like these. I'll try to handle things better and not let it affect my work and interests, but it is just hard. So freaking difficult. :( It's like, I can't even get out of bed these days. It is probably the deepest slump I've ever hit. And "slump" is too short of a word and too shallow of an estimate.

Once again, I am so sorry for this absence and this sudden disappearance. I promise I won't pull off another Bilbo Baggins, put on my One Ring and disappear again. I want to be honest and I hope this Apology Post suffices.

Don't be like me lol! I'm being serious! Please love what you do. It is heavily important. And it doesn't matter if you're writing cheesy romance or literal witchcraft. Please let it make you happy, even for just a moment, because happiness is very fleeting; at least in my perspective. It isn't about fandoms or hate or anything. If you love what you do and hold the highest, silliest hopes possible, nothing can ever bring you down.

And please don't delete your blog and vanish off and come back later with this. It is not worth the pain! If you're struggling, please get help or chart your own course to feeling better. Please let it not get intense and horrible and bad (and no, I'm not preaching or anything. I'm just echoing the words many people have already said before, with hope that nobody has to go through any of this or feel unwelcome or feel this need to delete and restart, because it isn't worth it at all.)

I hope you have a good day! See you! :)

#mads rants about pointless things because she's run out of content to write and is now resorting to shameless venting!#wahoo!

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lannisterdaddyissues · 2 years

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ok so i just finished the wheel of time episode 4 and may i ask why is nobody talking about it yet on this site??? it has all the elements tumblr would love and yet i have seen nothing on my dashboard about it yet! i guess that’s my cue to ramble about it though so buckle up because i have LOTS to say after this latest episode.

anyway i just want to thank this show for finally, finally, FINALLY getting it right. THIS is fantasy, people. special effects have never looked so good, so realistic, i’m wowed by the visuals every time moiraine so much as breathes because magic in this show is awesome.

watching the fight between the aes sedai and logain’s followers was like being a kid again and watching star wars for the first time. the choreography in this fight was top-notch, there were some incredible shots and some even more incredible stunts going on. watching the aes sedai fight up close and personal was really neat, as we’d only seen moiraine cast from a distance before. the magic explosions was a nice touch, they managed to look really cool without seeming over the top or just straight up fake, but i especially appreciated seeing some more practical uses for magic in battle as well. i saw at least one red sister who lifted a shield with her magic to protect herself from projectiles which left me awestruck for a solid five minutes. this scene alone has cemented the wheel of time in my mind as the fantasy show to end all fantasy shows.

and this isn’t even to mention all the other scenes in episodes past which have featured magic as well. i wasn’t sure if i liked the look of this show’s magic in episode 1 when moiraine was protecting the two rivers from the trolloc army, but now i really can’t imagine magic looking like anything else. the flappy, jerky arm motions don’t exactly look graceful when you’re just throwing air around, but it’s not supposed to look graceful. though the weaving magical tendrils are a nice touch, now there’s something that i could never tire of seeing. it’s like doctor strange meets the witcher?

but dare i forget the REAL hero of this episode: nynaeve. ohhhh my god can we PLEASE just talk about what an epic gamer move she pulled at the end of the episode. i mean, i knew having some kickass magical power had to be part of the job description if you were a wisdom, but hot. damn. words just don’t do her justice. my girl went supernova and healed EVERYBODY when they were on the BRINK OF DEATH and you’re telling me she didn’t even pass out afterwards??? she’s got to be a legend or maybe just a boss ass bitch because that was absolutely, mind-blowingly insane. i’m not going to sleep tonight after watching that. finally someone is doing justice to fantasy on television.

so it turns out this really just ended up being me rambling about how amazing the special effects in this series are? but i still have stuff to say about the show in general so i’m just gonna add on some extra stuff below because i can’t help myself:

so am i the only one who’s noticed that there is clearly Something going on between lan and nynaeve? idk what though, as i’m pretty sure egwene said in episode 1 that wisdoms can’t marry or have children, but there is definitely A Thing happening there. i’m not sure what it is, but it’s there. and i think i’m here for it

additionally, i would like to thank this show for not only getting fantasy right, but also for getting platonic relationships right. the actors do a wonderful job of illustrating the closeness between an aes sedai and her warder, especially that of moiraine and lan! when moiraine comforted lan after he lamented the loss of the four would-be dragons, that was possibly the first time i’ve ever seen a man and a woman be intimate together on live television without my brain immediately jumping to oh my god what if those two were in looooove. they clearly have such a deep love and respect for one another and it warmed my heart to see that on screen!

i’ve started to get attached to thom the gleeman so i hope he sticks around, mat seems like he’s in a great mindset to make lots of bad decisions so he’s probably going to need someone responsible to stick around and keep him from possibly going insane and killing a lot of people (was it mat who killed the family that let them stay in the barn or was it the fade? i couldn’t really figure it out so now i’m a bit Concerned for mat)

lastly i would like to say that i want only good things for egwene and perrin because they are soft and deserve to have nothing bad ever happen to them. thank you

#wheel of time #the wheel of time #wot #moiraine sedai #lan mandragoran #nynaeve al'meara #lan x nynaeve #lanaeve #egwene al'vere #rand al’thor #perrin aybara #mat cauthon #moiraine damodred

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honouredsatoru · 3 years

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JJK Characters x You on a date

notes : I tried including Gojo's love for Digimon since I also grew up watching Digimon and loving the anime with all of my heart, also because Gojo's seiyuu, both Japanese and English versions, voiced for characters in Digimon, so I wanna pay homage to the both of them. other than that, I also included my love for arts and history, something I tried to incorporate into my writing, just to make it like.. lilith's style, ya know?

extra notes : also I wrote megumi for Elli, just because haha.

warnings : slight cussing. not proofread lol. other than that, none. 100% fluff!

characters : gojo satoru, fushiguro megumi, kugisaki nobara, nanami kento, itadori yuji.

Gojo Satoru - Arcades, vintage shops, especially collectors, especially Digimon, comic book/manga stores.

[Your name]! [Your name!]! Look, look! It's the Digimon Adventure V-Tamer 01 series! All 9 of them! Let's get in!"

"Ahh hold on. Towu! We're supposed to visit the cat cafe, you promised that you would go with me and take pictures with the cat hairband on! And I'm starving!"

You jokingly scowled at him, tapping your Doc Martens feet on the ground, arms folding.

"Fucking adorable. Let me see if I can tease her more, hah." A smirk soon appeared on this blue-eyed darling of yours.

"Let me get the manga and I promise, I'll go to this cat cafe with you, baby. Hm?"

"Oh alright."

"I love you, sweetheart. I know how much you wanted to go there but the manga. I- ahaaaa"

He started pouting as he kept pointing in the direction of the Digimon manga by the window. You quickly opened your camera, taking pictures of him sulking, emitting a soft giggle that actually made his heart squeezed with joy.

He presses his lips against your forehead, thumb circling your cheek, gently squishing them before opening the door, yanking you into the comic book store with him. You vowed to hide the comic books once he goes on a mission. After all, he made you wait a month before the two of you finally get to go to this cafe you always wanted to visit.

"Baby, I can read what you're thinking. Your face shows it too. Hehe. Watch me hide your panties."

Taking in a few gulps of air to deepen your breath, you opened your eyes, to meet the love of your life's own eyes, snickering at you, his large hands on the crown of your head before ruffling your already messy hair. There is no way you can stay mad at this man, as childish as he is, you know he loves you and deep down? He knows you love him too.

Itadori Yuji - Thrift stores, internet cafes to play online games with you, cinemas.

"Candy! [Your name] love! Don't! Make! Me! Ahhh cover up for me! I am gonna lose! I am gonna-"

He turns around to face you with soft eyes, his eyebrows slightly droopy before looking back at the computer, taking in the seconds in his head to register the fact that he lost in his mission with you in Inferno.

"Awww sorry babe. I mean.. you just started playing CSGO, so tell me, why- again- damn it- you wanna- AH. Damn it! Throw the fucking grenade! I mean why you wanna play this game, you need more practice- FUCK YOU."

Gentle chuckles were heard, emitted from his throat, his soft, peach toned lips landed on your cheek repeatedly as he rubbed soothing circles around your back.

"Breathe, bunny baby. You're so feisty whenever you start having online matches. Breathe. I love you, and I don't want you to get your blood pressure rising because of these dumbos, hm?"

Your lips curl into a faint and appreciative smile, nodding while your eyes are glued to the screen, ignoring the fading laughs and snickers from the people acknowledging your mini rage.

"I love you too. If I win, I'm getting us boba and chicken nuggets. So let me fight them, okie?"

"Yes ma'am!"

Megumi - Museums, art galleries, photo exhibitions, aesthetic cafes.

"Oh Gumi bear, look at that! That is the Raft of Medusa, it was done by Thèodore Géricault, he himself interviewed two survivors from the shipwreck."

He looks over your eyes that shine with excitement and pure happiness.

"Art"

Was what he thought every time he laid his sight onto you. God knows that he falls in love with you every single time he is blessed with your presence. Resting his arm around your waist, pulling you closer, inhaling the scent of mixed berries and wild roses, he swore he heard his heartbeat increasing every two seconds in a span of one minute.

"Oh really? What do you think this painting is all about?"

Glancing at him before returning to the painting, you puffed your cheeks, pressing your lips together with your index finger curled on your chin and your thumb under it.

"Lord, she is so cute whenever she does that. Can I kiss her? Should I? No wait, she's trying to tell me her own interpretation of this painting. To me. Oh wow. I'm gonna kiss her... later. I can't interrupt her." That is all he could think of. You. He is deeply, madly, beautifully in love with you.

"In my opinion, it tells me the ways of how men, or human beings, seek out in order to survive. When we are at the brink of desperation, insanity, happiness, greed, lust, desire, wrath, grief, don't we all do things unimaginable to help us go through the day? They even resolved to cannibalism. I think even I would commit to that if I was in an extremely dire situation."

You looked at him, a wide smile on your face, emitting a soft giggle that entered his right ear and stayed within the chambers of his mind. He closed the spaces between the both of you, sealing his lips onto yours, with the intention of making this very moment last a little longer heavy within his heart.

"Art."

Was what you thought of him.

Nanami Kento - Theatres, historical museums, fine dining restaurants.

You squealed, lightly clapping your hands as you ran to a block of marble, your foot tapping against the floor. He chuckles, hands in his pocket, taking fast strides towards you.

"Namnam! Look look! That's the Parthenon Sculptures! It was founded in hm... Athens, yes! If I am not mistaken, around 438 to 432 BC. These sculptures decorated the insides of the Parthenon, it is a temple located at the fortress of the Athenian Acropolis. It is said that this temple was built to appreciate and worship the Goddess Athena, she was the deity worship in Athens. Also, ah ah! Did you know that the word parthénos means "maiden", "girl" or ‘virgin"? And I-"

You look at him, your magnificent lover wearing a dark brown trench coat, with ecru brown trousers and a black turtleneck tucked in, his neck layered with white gold necklaces. Your hand unconsciously scratches your sideburns, giggling at the side of his stoic expression, eyes piercing yours beneath that yellow-green glasses he constantly has on his chiseled face.

"Oh... I am sorry... I didn't mean to bore you. I was just so excited because you know me! I love anything that is related to ancient greek history and mythology. I can't seem to get enough of it and it is absolut-

"I'm not bored, [your name]. I was just paying attention to every single word that pretty lips of yours uttered. It's magnificent that you knew all of this. It shows just how smart, curious, bright your mind and soul is. And darling?"

"Huh?"

"I am lucky to be blessed with someone like you. With Gojo constantly following me, there is no way I can read the books I bought for myself. However, having you around, breaking the ice with your random history tib bits, I feel like I am reading the pages, savouring each word, alphabet, sentence, thus expanding my quest and love for knowledge."

You looked down. Normally, you're not the type to tear up this easily but seeing how this man, this angel of a man, appreciates the little things you loved and adored, you can't help but let the waterworks out. You lifted your head up to meet his gaze, the tip of your nose slightly stuffy. You grabbed his arms, clinging onto him, the difference of height and size makes it sweet to the eyes of strangers surrounding you both.

"Oh Namnam. Thank you so much. This means the world to me. Shall we... go and see the best of Ramesses the Great? I've loads to tell you!"

Nobara - Shopping malls, ferry rides, beach dates, parks with cherry blossoms.

"Baby... tell me, have you ever seen anything as joyous as the ocean?"

You two stood by the seashore, fingers intertwined, your head resting on her shoulders, the sound of the seas splashing against the rocks and the warmth around your foot, it tingled but it feels good at the same time.

"I don't want this moment to end, [your name]."

"Why is that, pretty one?"

A faint sigh leaves her lips, you feeling her body loosen up.

"I just.. school is sort of stressful so my time spent with you liberates me from the pressure, fatigue, and image of curses embedded in my brain. Walking with you... through this airy womb of skies and clouds, don't you know it makes me happy?"

You leaned closer, pressing a soft peck on her cheeks, earning yourself a pair of scarlet cheeks with a gorgeous smile from the one next to you. You turned yourself to face her, hands on her shoulders, bringing her body closer to yours.

"Whenever and wherever you need me, I will be there. I might not be perfect, but I am gonna do my best to be the one you can always count on."

You pressed a kiss on her left cheek.

"I love you."

A kiss on her right cheek.

"I love you."

A kiss to the lips of the woman whom you shared your entire universe with.

"To the moon and back, I love you, Kugisaki Nobara."

The end.

tags : @tojisveryown @sookyshima @megumifushi @sixeyesgojo @sirthisisa-wendys @sasso-oda @fushigurocockslut @nkogneatho @kotarousgf @noritoshiikamo

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xhisokas-harleyx · 3 years

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Your Hisoka headcanons were so good😭 and i completely agree with all of them- I wanted request something, u can ignore if u want. 🏃

I am just thinking of a scenario where Hisoka got hurt, by someone who 'cheated' in the fight maybe, and his first instinct was to go to his 'friend's place. And Reader helps him without hesitation, they're even worried and stuff. And he is just like "are they just so naive or dumb? Kind? What do they get from this? And tf is this feeling in my chest? A poison maybe-" Maybe hcs? Or an oneshot? Whatever you like to do. Have a good day or night!:)💛 damn i wrote too much lol sorry

This warms my heart. Thank you SO MUCH for your support!!! And no, you did not write too much! I love having my ego stroked ;) 😂 seriously tho I love hearing from you guys!

I love this prompt. I hope that I was able to bring this to life for you, please feel free to request more!

To be honest, I’m not really happy with how this turned out, but I haven’t written in a long time and feel really rusty. I may rewrite it at some point, because I thought of a different way this could also go! At any rate, I hope you enjoy it.

Word Count: 2880 (yeh, it’s a long one :o)

A little song inspiration I had:

As The World Caves In: Matt Maltese

Hisoka x Reader One-Shot: The Man Beneath the Monster

...

Well... this wasn't supposed to happen.

Currently, the jester of everyone's nightmares lay on the ground, golden eyes staring up at the dull night sky while shrapnel and debris etched patterns into his back, remnants of the attack he'd just barely survived. Hisoka didn't normally have much of a problem mowing through his opponents- but then again, they usually didn't possess the ability to play with their enemy's mind. It was insanely unfair, the way he'd been attacked, and while it had been an interesting battle to say the least, Hisoka had barely pulled through.

Admittedly, he was invigorated by the feeling of almost being beaten- save for the searing pain that inched its way through every nerve in his body. Hisoka wasn't usually so affected by pain in general- in fact, more often than not, it gave him a certain indescribable gratification. He tended to brush off the feeling of most wounds he obtained during battle, distracting himself with shuffling his cards or fantasizing about the next battle he'd be facing. Only this time, if he didn't get help, he wasn’t sure there would BE another battle.

Hisoka strained himself to sit up, and looked down at his body, analyzing just how much damage he'd sustained. A deep gash opened up his chest, revealing glimpses of the muscular content underneath, and it was oozing a lot of blood. His arms and legs were burned, and some of the skin was a little charred, which smelled just lovely against the night breeze.

This is going to be difficult to cover with Texture Surprise... he thought, forcing himself a bit angrily to his feet, when he heard the cracking of the joints in his left ankle, indications of a break. He needed medical attention, badly. His gash wasn't going to heal itself, and he would bleed to death within hours if it didn’t get bandaged.

But where could he go? Hospitals wouldn't dare take him- even though he was a hunter, most people wouldn't be caught within miles of him, let alone would provide him any remedy. In fact, most people thought the world would be better off if he were dead anyway.

Maybe they were right.

He chuckled a little at the thought, but as he tried to brush those creeping inner fears off, he soon realized that his normal detached approach wasn't going to work this time. Already, his legs were getting weaker, and his vision was getting a little darker by the second. In that moment of weakness, when he felt the most vulnerable, the magician was puzzled by the singular thought that came to his mind.

Y/N.

She was a girl he’d encountered more than a few times in his travels; not by accident, but through carefully orchestrated meetings he initiated himself. She was strong in his eyes, which was not a compliment that he offered freely, especially to someone who didn’t regularly seek out altercations to smash their enemies. She was strong in a different way- not because of her nen or battle tactics- but because of her resolve. He found it intriguing that she didn’t run at the sight of him (even when he popped up behind her in the park), and he liked that she wasn't afraid to tell him exactly where he could shove his cards, if warranted. Y/N was appealing to him in an indescribable way that made him continue to think up excuses to meet her ‘randomly’- but he could never put his finger on what it was that made her unique. However, through brief conversations and what he considered to be highlights of his travels, he’d gotten to know her only a little, but he hardly had enough contact with her to call her a ‘friend’.

It wasn't like she had any special sort of healing nen. She probably couldn't help him anyway. But if he did bleed out, and his last thought had to be of something...l it might as well be of her.

The pink-haired clown looked to the city up ahead in the distance- he was close to her house already. It didn't take him long to get there; Y/N lived on the outskirts of town in a small place away from most other homes.

It was a place he knew well, although he'd never been inside. He'd spent more than a few long nights watching the residence from the rooftop of a distant neighboring home as he denied his human emotions. He often watched her pack groceries, or try to figure out why her porch light wasn't working (which he certainly had nothing to do with), or watch TV on the couch all alone.

Hisoka quite liked those stupid romantic comedies that played late at night on the local channel. His only opportunity to watch them was through her window- and in his mind, he was sure that she left the subtitles on because she can somehow sense his presence. She usually fell asleep watching those, and missed the part where the hero gets the girl. He always watched that part with particular interest, but he can't figure out what makes the protagonists so special to each other. If there was a feeling that caused them to sacrifice so much for one another… he sure didn’t know what it could be.

But he's not a hero, so why would he know what that feels like?

As Hisoka reached her door and lifted his hand to the doorknob, not bothering to knock, a pang of what could only be anxiety ripped through him. It was well past 2 AM, and he knew she had things to do early in the morning. Their previous encounters had been abnormal, to say the least, complete with him teasing her and being a douchebag. He's been nothing but an annoyance to Y/N, so why would she help him?

As soon as he was about to pull his hand away, the door swung open, revealing a disheveled looking y/n in its place. Hisoka was bent over in pain, holding his chest, but as she startled him a little, he straightened up and put on his mask, acting complacent and confident. He wanted to say something smart and witty like he always does- that always helped to bat the pain away. But his lips wouldn't move- his tongue wouldn't function as he stared at her, unable to reach out in a way that normal humans seem to find so easy.

He felt frozen in that moment. He was normally so deliberately irreverent, but seeing the look on her face made his blood run cold.

Don’t let her see this weakness. It was a plea to himself.

But Hisoka had no choice. He was broken, and he needed her to fix him. He wasn’t used to depending on someone else to save his life, but now his life rested in the hands of someone who most likely despised him.

"...Hisoka." Y/N breathed, her eyes widening as she placed a hand over her open mouth. Only seconds passed before her delicate hands were pulling him inside the door without hesitation. She didn't bother to ask what happened, what kind of trouble he'd gotten into, or whether she would also be in danger. Instead, she sat him down on the couch, laying a pillow under his head for comfort, which he annoyingly refused to use until he absolutely couldn’t hold his head up any longer.

Hisoka was a bit dazed from the loss of blood, and the crimson river was flowing all over y/n's lightly colored couch. He was puzzled by the swiftness of her reaction, and he watched tepidly as she shuffled frantically through the drawers in the bathroom for something to heal him. Though he was on the brink of death, his default deflection of emotions still shone through, a reflex that he didn’t even mean to activate.

“I don’t need your help, you know.” He said with an impudent grin, watching as she began to work on his wounds. “It’s just a scratch. But I can see how badly you want to touch me…” Why was he like this? Here she was, giving up everything to help him (a criminal and the scum of the Earth),yet he can’t so much as even show her an iota of gratitude. He knows, but will never admit that it comes from his inner vulnerability; that fear of getting hurt by these things called emotions. She could just as easily let him bleed to death in front of her; he knows she has the capability to be stone cold. But she won’t… why?

Why?

Y/N could have easily let Hisoka’s false complacency hurt her. But she knows that what he cannot express in his words, his heart cannot truly hide. It was the way he was built, she told herself, and she pushed on through his antics because she wanted to see him safe again. Through the laceration in his tough exterior, she could not only see the flesh beneath, but a glimpse of the man he tried to hide using the monster that he assumed everyone saw.

But she was different.

The jester was confused by her silence. Normally, she would have retorted at his smugness, but right now, she didn’t even seem concerned with it as she began to fumble with cleaning his wounds. The alcohol seared his flesh just as the emotions boiling within him burned his heart. Why would she ever care to help him when he’s been nothing but rude and degrading to her? Could it be that she really can see through the detached front and overbearing persona? Impossible, he’s spent years building that reputation!

Suddenly, he became enthralled with the way Y/N’s eyes focused on threading the needle to sew up his gash. The way that those fingertips danced over his pale skin made him jolt unexpectedly at her touch, exhibiting a softness that Hisoka has never known before. In fact, he can’t even fathom someone wanting to touch him without the intention to hurt him in some way.

The details slowly became a blur in his depressed mental state- but he still analyzed every motion Y/N made.

Oddly, the promised sting of death had never scared Hisoka before; he did as he pleased, without care for his own life nor anyone else’s. But as his vision faded, and he watched her through the gaze of someone nearing death, he realized that he did not want to leave this world yet. He wanted to live- and maybe he wanted to discover and experience what he’d been missing in those movies he’d watched through her window.

With that, Hisoka’s heart began to beat faster.

Blood loss. That’s what it is… Hisoka thought; but he wasn’t stupid; only unwilling to admit that he was beginning to exhibit the same qualities he saw in the protagonists of those hopeless romantic flicks. He was unable to accept that the tightening in his chest was not just because of her stitches pulling his lacerated skin together.

“Are they dead? Did you kill them?” Her voice brought him out of the trance-like state he was in, and his golden eyes focused on her face. Her hands were covered in his blood (which in itself made him feel delightfully feverish), but his gash had been mended, the bleeding stopped for now. Once again, he didn’t say anything. It was unusual for the smug magician to keep his mouth shut.

“Because if you didn’t kill them, I’m going to.” A protective tone dripped into her voice, bewildering Hisoka again. That quality in her voice was both threatening and comforting, and the duality sent a chill up his spine. It inspired him to use his voice, though it had lost some of its signature modulation.

“You have that little faith in me…” A cough escaped his lips before he could smile as if nothing was bothering him at all. “Of course I killed them, my dear.” Somehow, calling her ‘dear’ no longer felt right; that was typically a placeholder, a default name to use for someone he had no connection with, and she seemed to be worthy of more than that now.

As Y/N suddenly dipped to her knees, Hisoka refrained from any lewd thoughts that he normally might have had in such a situation. That sensation in his chest was too distracting to allow this memory to be defiled with something he often indulged in fantasies of. She began to slide the high-heeled shoe off of his swollen foot to wrap it. She began to struggle with ripping the fabric she’d gathered to act as a cast for the bone.

Surely, she knows who I am. Why would she bother to help someone like me? What is she gaining? She knows that with the flip of a card, I could end her life. She’s not even protecting herself in any way. She’s leaving her guard down right in front of me.

Perhaps it was his dark desire to set fear into everyone he came across, or his distorted need to drive away anyone who might care for him, but his body suddenly acted on its own. By instinct, almost as if it were a test of her intention, a card spawned between his middle and index finger, which was right against her neck. With just a slight movement of his knuckles, he could spill her blood. His golden eyes analyzed the way she froze for a moment, and he believed that to be the end of this fragile trust between them. That was until she lifted the fabric she was holding, sliding it along the edge of the card, and cutting it to the perfect length.

“Thanks.” She spoke, beginning to wrap and set the ankle in place.

At that small motion, Hisoka’s discretionary eyes widened, and his lips fell open in surprise. Rather than interpreting his advance as an attack, she’d innocently taken it as an offer of his help. Was this a joke? Was she stupid enough to trust him, or was she bold enough to outsmart his games? Was Y/N this confident that he wouldn’t just kill her? This naive girl at his feet seemed to be the only person in this convoluted world who didn’t see him as a disgusting, heartless monster… and that warmed his icy heart.

“I’m surprised this hasn’t happened before. I know you’re graceful, but high heels are always a recipe for a broken ankle.” She offset the pain of wrapping those bones by talking to him all through the procedure, and it worked wonders. He scoffed, but by that time, Hisoka’s snide comments and emotion-killing thoughts had been expended. Somehow, she’d broken through the barrier that he’d spent so long building around himself.

Unable to ignore his whims anymore, Hisoka reached out to touch Y/N’s hair, the soft delicate strands pleasing his senses. It’s the only movement he can make now, his body weakened from the loss of blood. His gilded eyes were barely open, but they looked directly into hers with an unfamiliar realization. His hand travelled weakly down her face, caressing her cheek with the most delicate touch he could muster, and held her head in his large hand as she froze there. He wondered for a moment if she was afraid, or if something deeper that he cannot see calms her.

A small, genuine smile is all he could muster for her before his hand dropped to the side of the couch, the same couch he watched her curl up on most nights. For once, it’s not a smirk, and it’s not a smug smile- but something she has never seen before- a true smile with good intention behind it. His eyes closed, with uncertainty that they would open in the morning.

After she’d finished her work, she stood up, and looked down at him. The only remaining light in the room was the silent flicker of the television set in the background, which illuminated both of their faces.

“I need you to be alright, Hisoka,” She cooed, unable to know if he could still hear her. He didn’t know if she even realized how much he wanted to kill her right now, because the way her kindness was attacking his heart while his chest was already sliced open was something he should not excuse.

As Y/N’s final healing gesture, she bent over his body gracefully. He was taken off guard when he felt the feathery soft sensation of her lips on his forehead, the kiss of an angel on his clammy skin. As she went to pull away, however, she was startled by the lunge of Hisoka’s hand initiating a death grip on her wrist. He used the last bit of his strength to pull her lips into his, causing her to lose balance and be forced to brace on either side of the couch cushion below him. His lips were cold, but Y/N graciously returned the sensation, and boldly moved to embrace both sides of his face with her mending hands. Before she pulled away, and he passed out, she felt that same smile against her lips.

And in that moment, before he fades away, Hisoka realizes what he’s been missing.

Y/N.

-----------------

Hmm... part two? I KNOW, it’s super freakin’ sappy. I could have taken a lighthearted approach to this (and maybe I will later), but I wanted to kind of challenge myself to write a more depth-driven version of Hisoka. Maybe I bit off a little more than I can chew :0.

Anyway, let me know what you think, and once again thanks to anon for the request! Hope you all enjoyed!

Mac

#hisoka morow #hisoka x reader #x reader #reader insert #hxh #hunterxhunter #feeling sappy #love #lovelorn #ooc? probably #hxh 2011 #hisoka

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stardustprompts · 3 years

Text

the dragon republic - r.f kuang sentence starters change tenses/pronouns as needed !! some lines have been edited for clarity / length / ease of roleplaying tw : drugs , suicide mention , illness , addiction , death , murder , nsfw , language

‘I’m telling you, you’re not in any state to be useful.’

‘get out of bed and stop being such a brat.

‘you will learn to control yourself, and you will start protecting them.’

‘you think you’re on the brink of madness, you think that this moment is going to be when you finally snap, but it’s not.’

‘eventually you learn to exist on the precipice of insanity.’

‘it should have been you. you should have died.’

‘revolution is fine in theory. but nobody wants to die.’

‘you can stop pretending to be my friend, because I know that’s all you came for.’

‘you’re dead. I saw you die.’

‘all you want is to get your revenge. but you could be so much more. do so much more. you could change history.’

‘can’t I be happy? I’ve missed you.’

‘of course you’re in on this madness. what did I expect?’

‘you’re frightened all the time. you think everyone’s out to get you, and you want them to be out to get you because then that’ll give you an excuse to hurt them.’

‘fuck your pain.’

‘you asked how large my sorrow is, and I answered, like a river in spring flowing east.’

‘if you just keep breathing, I’ll tell you a story.’

‘you spend your whole life chasing after some illusion you think is real, only to realize you’re a damned fool, and that if you reach any further, you’ll drown.’

‘you don’t have to suffer alone, you know.’

‘you’re so strong. whatever you’re seeing, whatever you’re feeling, it’s not as strong as you are.’

‘she thinks it’s funny to watch her prey squirm before she kills it.’

‘she knows what drives men, and she takes their deepest desire and makes them believe that she is the only thing that can give it to them.’

‘I don’t need your fake sympathy.’

‘I know nothing. I help no one. let’s leave it at that, shall we?’

‘you are my greatest weapon. do not disappoint.’

‘you’ve been feeling the pull, haven’t you? it’s consuming you. your mind is not your own.’

‘does it ever bother you? that you are only a pale imitation of ____?’

‘are you insane? you want to live, you fucking hide.’

‘I know you’ll fight her to the end. but I hope you realize you’re going to go mad trying.’

‘I would never lie to you.’

‘I mean, sometimes I think maybe I can stop, maybe I can just run away. but what I’ve seen—-what I’ve done—- I can’t come back from that.’

‘when you have the power that you do, your life is not your own.’

‘people will seek to use you or destroy you.’

‘you can’t do it alone. I’m all you got. you have to trust me.’

‘you don’t know how to fix me, do you? you never did.’

‘good men are dead because of you. I hope you know.’

‘I saw how you were hurting. that looked like torture. I thought you might be relieved.’

‘you’re always talking about ____ like he was some great hero. but he wasn’t.’

‘I’d die before I let anyone hurt you’

‘you can’t keep me safe, so you might as well let me fight.’

‘I like you better. aren’t you flattered?’

‘how does it feel getting a taste of your own medicine?’

‘it’s like I’m frozen in one moment. and no one knows it because everyone else moved on except me.’

‘I can’t figure out who’s right or wrong, and I’m the smart one, I’m always supposed to have the right answer, but I don’t.’

‘I just wanted it to be over. I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t want to hurt them, not really, I just wanted it to end.’

‘I suppose it’s not easy going to war against friends.’

‘___ made her choice. she just happened to be dead fucking wrong.’

‘he’s still grieving. and there’s nothing you can do to make that hurt less.’

‘you know what your problem is? you have no impulse control. absolutely zero. none.’

‘you have to fight for something, you can’t just—just live your life like a fucking coward.’

‘it’s not about who you are, it’s about how they see you. and once you’re mud in this country, you’re always mud.’

‘I stuck with you because we thought we’d stay together. we’re always supposed to be together.’

‘it sounds like you’re saying that people have to die for progress.’

‘war’s different when you’re not struggling for survival.’

‘your secret is safe from ___, if that what you’re asking. but I don’t understand why you’re lying to me.’

‘I’m not stupid. I know what I saw.’

‘don’t sentence us to death just because you’ve been humiliated.’

‘she’s telling the truth. you’re just not listening because you’re terrified that someone else is right.’

‘cant give orders for shit, but you love taking them.’

‘I realized that he’d gone crazy and that something had broken and that that path was just going to lead to his death.’

‘did you think he’d fall in love with you if you just did what he asked?’

‘don’t lie to me. I know what you’ve done.’

‘we / I don’t need your permission to exist.’

‘you’re little children, grasping in a void that you don’t understand for toys that don’t belong to you.’

‘he dared to threaten us / me. he deserved what he got.’

‘would a simple thank-you suffice? or did you also want a hug?’

‘you think it makes you strong, but it’s going to destroy you.’

‘I didn’t think it was worth scaring you when I couldn’t do anything about it.’

‘you weren’t going to tell me I was going mad!’

‘she promises you peace when you know you ought to be fighting a war. that’s worse.’

‘no one has to die. you can have everything back. everyone. no one has to go.’

‘he only has as much power as you give him.’

‘you can tell me everything I hate about myself, but I already know. you can’t say anything to hurt me more.’

‘I loved an idea of you. I was infatuated with you. I wanted to be you.’

‘I loved you too. do you believe that?’

‘it’s alright to cry. I know what you saw.’

‘our dead don’t leave us. they’ll haunt you as long as you let them.’

‘that boy is a disease on your mind. forget him.’

‘he was brilliant. he was different. you’d have never met anyone like him.’

‘this is why we are polite to our allies.’

‘we’re soldiers. we’re always about to die.’

‘I want it more than anything. but I can’t ask you to do this for me.’

‘you are going to kill him. and then nothing will save you.’

‘if you love him, then you can trust yourself to protect him.’

‘you have the same eyes. angry. desperate. you’ve seen too much. you hate too much.’

‘all we have is this story unfolding, and in the script of this world, nothing’s going to bring ___ back to life.’

‘I can’t look at you and not see him.’

‘we’re fighting for something good. something worth fighting for.’

‘I have to do this. otherwise I have nothing.’

‘i’m going to tell you a story. I want you to just listen. and I want you to believe me. please.’

‘I don’t think I can die. i’ve tried.’

‘when you have this much power and this much is at stake you don’t fucking run from it.’

‘I’m scared for you. for both of us. I can’t help that.’

‘if you stay here you’ll die for nothing.’

‘you’re my sister. how could I not remember you?’

‘holy shit. you’re going to die. we’re all going to die.’

‘you never think, do you? you always just pick whatever fights you want, whenever you want, and fuck the consequences—-’

‘if you die, I die.’

‘we’ll keep surviving until we’re safe and the world can’t touch us. one enemy at a time, agreed?’

‘you don’t know anything going into a battle. you only know the stakes.’

‘I had a dream. you died.’

‘I just want to make things right between us. what’s that going to take?’

‘I really am sorry. please, I don’t want us to end like this.’

‘please—- you have more enemies than you think you do—-’

‘you taught me the meaning of fear. nothing more.’

‘I know what kind of person you are— you betray those who help you and you throw lives away like they’re nothing.’

‘we are precisely the same, you and I.’

‘we’ve acquired more power than any mortal should have the right to, which means we have to make the decisions no one else can.’

‘the world is our chessboard. it’s not our fault if the pieces get broken.’

‘would you really do things differently, if you had another chance?’

‘tell me you wouldn’t have given up everything. tell me you wouldn’t sacrifice everything and everyone you knew for the power to take back your country.’

‘you don’t understand the stakes, because you don’t know the meaning of true fear. you don’t know how much worse it could have been.’

‘I’m sorry I hurt you. but I had a plan to protect my people, and you simply got in the way.’

‘____ discards allies without blinking when they are no longer convenient, and if you don’t believe me when I say you’re next, then you’re a fool.’

‘you need me far more than you need them.’

‘you think that he’s invincible, but he is more fragile than you think.’

‘I know that he’d throw himself off a cliff for you. please stop trying to break him.’

‘a puppet to the end. when are you going to learn?’

‘I know what you told him. now I want you to tell me the truth.’

‘have you ever considered being less of a pretentious fuck?’

‘do you have any idea how much trouble you are?’

‘do you want someone to rearrange your face? because I’ll do it for free.’

‘I just don’t want the world to break you.’

‘don’t you dare puke on me.’

‘if you’re trying to drown me, then you’re being a little obvious about it.’

‘why do you always think someone’s trying to kill you?’

‘I feared you, I hated you, and that never really went away.’

‘you can’t beat that thing. you have no idea what you’re up against.’

‘this is what happens when men are fool enough to toy with heaven.’

‘chaos is clever. it can disguise itself as rational and benevolent. it can make us merciful. but in the end, it must always be hunted down and destroyed.’

‘if you’re going to kill us all then you’ll have to kill him, too.’

‘he’s not the one we’re trying to save.’

‘you’ll be alright. it’s not as bad as you think it is.’

‘I’m supposed to be a soldier! what the fuck am I supposed to do now?’

#literature prompts #literature sentence starters #the dragon republic sentence starters #the dragon republic prompts #the poppy war series prompts #rp memes #rp prompts #rp sentence starters

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duskandstarlight · 3 years

Text

Wings, Flames and Shadows (one-shot, seriously NSFW)

Part Two (Read part one here or read it all on A03)

Nesta/Cassian/Azriel SMUT

Premise: Azriel, Nesta and Cassian play strip poker in Illyria. Followed by smut, smut and more smut. Babies please do not read this.

Teaser: An hour later, Cassian threw his cards down with a defeated groan.

And Nesta, the she-devil, smirked as she pulled the last of his chips towards her. It was a movement that widened when Cassian snarled softly.

Azriel leant forwards from where he was seated, his elbows coming to rest on his broad thighs. He had lost his socks but otherwise remained fully dressed. He was holding his wings a fraction higher than usual, as if he were having to concentrate more than he usually did when they played cards.

A muscle ticked in the shadowsinger’s cheek. It was enough to tell Cassian that he was suppressing a smile. And because his brother had not smiled in months, Cassian pulled off his undershorts without hesitation, even as he groused, “Amused, brother?”

Again, Azriel’s lips tugged upwards. And then, to Cassian’s surprise, the shadowsinger chuckled with a small shake of his head, “You two need a chaperone up here?”

Notes: Guys, I, umm… don’t really know what to say about this fic. I have written this for @nesta-stan who was my Secret Snowflake - I hope you enjoy this absolute smut-fest, inspired by you saying that you like “fluff but mainly smut”, which I promise you, this is entirely!

This fic is based is a standalone one-shot, but it runs on from Habits, which I know a lot of you were demanding more from. This is in no way the second part, but it definitely stands in the series. It was also inspired by some of the prompts I receive the other day, which was “Nessian playing cards” and “Nessian smut”.

So here you are you thirsty lot, a Nesta/Cassian/Azriel threesome. I know that this would not happen in canon (we don’t think!!), but I have tried to make it as believable (and as filthy) as possible. Azriel is a “freak”, we know that from SJM, but I will go as far as to say that Cassian in my mind is even filthier..

Thanks to @ladynestaarcheron for organising the Secret Snowflake - I hope you enjoy this too! And major, major thanks to my muse @jeakat , who has made this entire fic happen and edited all 13k+ words of this absolute smut-fest. THANK YOU <3

And now I am going to go and die somewhere in embarrassment. HAPPY NEW YEAR’S DAY, FOLKS.

Wings, Flames and Shadows (2/2)

Azriel did not protest, he only dropped his scarred hands away from the underwear he had yet to remove and held them out to Nesta.

The shadowsinger did not flinch as Nesta raked her eyes up his body, her eyes gleaming at the hard length of him — a gleam that Cassian knew meant she was contemplating dropping to her knees and taking him in her mouth — before she took his hands.

“Mine or yours?” Cassian asked Nesta, coming up behind her and touching his fingers to her neck.

“Yours,” Nesta said, and then she strode to his bedroom as if she was a queen in search of her throne.

Cassian came up behind Nesta just as she made to kneel onto the mattress. He caught her around the waist, turning them so the backs of his knees hit the edge of the mattress. He coaxed her down with him, pulling her hips until her back was flush to his chest for the second time that evening.

There was an almost predatory look on Azriel’s face as he stepped out of the shadows, his wings huge and mighty behind him. Cassian had seen the expression on the shadowsinger before, usually when he intended to draw out long, prolonged pleasure both for himself and the others he was bedding.

Leaning back on an arm for purchase, Cassian gave the invitation Azriel was waiting for; he pulled Nesta’s underwear to the side, the material ripping slightly beneath his fierce grip. “I believe you were about to taste Nesta,” he drawled.

The shadowsinger huffed, the only indication that he was amused, as he dropped silently to his knees.

“Azriel likes to have females begging,” Cassian told Nesta, his lips a distraction at her ear. He watched his voice skitter down her skin, relishing in the way the hairs of her arms stood on end in anticipation.

But Nesta raised her chin, meeting Azriel’s eyes as the shadowsinger looped her legs over his shoulders. The movement was careful, designed to avoid the shadowsinger’s wings. Nesta knew better than to touch them. Rarely dared to try and touch Cassian’s. “Unfortunately for you, I don’t beg.”

Her voice was wholly even but Cassian felt her heart thump against her ribcage.

It was a lie. She had begged for Cassian before.

And then Azriel spoke for the first time since they had started this insanity.

“Yet,” Azriel promised darkly, and then he slowly lowered his mouth to her.

Cassian’s body burned as Azriel swiped the flat of his tongue over Nesta’s folds. The drawn out movement was full of promise; of expertise and precision from years of worship. It made Cassian’s cock throb painfully. Just the thought of Nesta breaking beneath Azriel’s tongue made him want to roar, but he made do with grinding his erection into Nesta’s bare back as he reached around to cup her breasts. Nesta had gone still in the way she often did when someone first went down on her, as if she were afraid to breathe. Cassian knew she found the act too intimate, too vulnerable as she was splayed out before someone, but Cassian also knew that Azriel would coax pleasure out of Nesta that would shatter through that numbness, until her lungs were gasping and her fingers were grappling at the sheets for purchase.

And Cassian had an unprecedented view.

Over Nesta’s shoulder, Cassian watched Azriel tease her. Watched the shadowsinger trace his tongue over her in a way that was too leisurely, denying Nesta of the steady rhythm across her clit that would have toes curling as she hurtled towards orgasm. Watched Nesta slowly unravel bit by bit, kissing away her hoarse moans that coursed around the room. He lavished attention onto her neck, raking his teeth down the unblemished skin, fluttering his tongue against her pulse point as he sucked hard enough for her skin to bruise. Traced the elegant tip of her ear with his tongue before tugging her lobe between his teeth.

When Nesta’s cries were a steady stream and her stomach was tensing beneath a splayed palm, Cassian ripped the fabric of her underwear clean off of her.

Azriel growled in approval, his lips fastening over Nesta’s clit with a new sort of intent, his scarred hands pulling her hips closer. His wings flared behind him as he buried his face back between her folds, his tongue fluttering over that bundle of nerves until Nesta’s voice broke and she whimpered.

“Cassian,” she bit out, the word breaking into a sob that Cassian knew Nesta hated herself for as she struggled to find purchase in Azriel’s hair.

She let out a frustrated snarl, as if she had been expecting more, and then her arms were winding around Cassian’s neck to tug at the length of his hair.

Nesta’s nails dug hard into his scalp, but the pain was a pleasant distraction from his throbbing cock. When a satisfied moan escaped Nesta’s lungs, Cassian bowed his head to snarl softly into her neck — the sound possessive — as he scraped his teeth up the pale column that was his downfall every, damn time.

“Is that good, sweetheart?” Cassian murmured, pressing the words into her skin as he continued to marvel at the weight of her breasts in his hands. He rolled her nipples between his thumb and forefingers, tugging at the peaks which were as stiff as his cock, relishing in her cry as she arched into him.

“I love hearing you moan,” he rasped, watching as Azriel drew broad circles around that bundle of nerves in just the way Nesta liked. “Can you feel how hard you make me?”

With a whimper, Nesta turned her head towards him, burying it into the crook of his neck. When Azriel closed his mouth around her clit and sucked, she rolled back onto Cassian’s erection with a sharp cry.

Gently, Cassian ran a hand through her hair, pushing the golden brown strands from her face so he could access her mouth. The brush of her tongue against his had everything in him snapping, as the light from his end of the bond flooded into the inky dark. That tunnel widened with the movement, Nesta’s pleasure barrelling down to his core.

It snapped his self-control, the words falling out of his mouth before he could stop himself, even as he knew it would make Nesta blush, “How does she taste?”

Slowly, Azriel rose his head to look at Cassian. His lips wet and swollen, his pupils blown impossibly wide. He dragged two fingers through Nesta’s folds, swiping briefly over her swollen clit, just as his other hand pumped at his cock, as if he too were too far gone for self-restraint. “Delicious,” he said, his cold voice as close to a caress as Cassian had ever heard it. “I could do this all evening.”

The chill of Azriel’s promise had Nesta breaking, the teasing too much. Azriel had coaxed Nesta’s body to the brink so many times that her body was trembling, every muscle taut and expectant. She went to snarl, her resolve finally breaking, but then Azriel was easing two fingers inside of her and the sound died in her throat.

The desperate way that Nesta’s breath stuttered sparked Cassian into action. He moved before he could think, easing Nesta onto her back and kneeling by her head.

His cock was thick and aching, the tip leaking with pre-cum in a way that he would have found mortifying if he wasn’t too gone to care.

“Sweetheart,” he begged hoarsely, pleading for her to touch him again, but he needn't have bothered. Nesta’s hand immediately came up to wrap around him, her thumb swiping over the bead of moisture and running it down his length.

“Fuck,” he hissed, his hips bucking into her hand. He leant over to skim his hands down her body with the sort of reverence he was not supposed to let himself give in to. “You’re so beautiful,” he rasped, “even Azriel can’t help but touch himself. He’s jerking off as he tastes you.”

Another broken sound was pulled from Nesta. She moved her hand faster, sliding up and down the length of him, twisting her hand over the head with such expert precision he nearly lost all sense of control as she tried to arch into Azriel, wanting — no, needing — his mouth back on her clit.

“Make me come.” It was a moaned order. The closest Nesta would ever get to pleading.

Cassian’s hand moved of its own volition, his fingers sliding down until they passed over her swollen clit, his jaw slack as her hips bucked into his touch. Azriel held Nesta down, his fingers working harder with an expertise that usually had the females he bedded screaming as he scraped his teeth over the insides of Nesta’s thighs.

Panted gasps worked their way into Cassian’s ears. He gripped Nesta’s hand, bucking into her fist as her body went taut, like a rope about to be cut loose. Her back arched, her head tilting back onto the mattress, exposing her neck as Cassian continued to draw tight, relentless circles around that bundle of nerves.

He knew the second before it was going to happen. Felt Nesta reach that pinnacle that turned everything quiet. For a second, she was in free-fall, that mist wreathing around her hands, travelling down her arms… Cassian heard Azriel grunt into the skin of Nesta’s thigh, felt his own body move without his brain ordering it, collapsing over her to sink his teeth into Nesta’s neck as that wave came crashing down.

Nesta cried out, the sound sharp in the air as her magic flew from her fingertips, a silver blaze flying across the room and illuminating the ceiling to broadcast three sets of shadow and two huge sets of wings.

Her body shook and jerked as wave after wave of pleasure barrelled through her body. When she was finished, she sank her body back into the mattress with a shuddered moan, as if her orgasm had left her completely boneless. Slowly, her hands came up to automatically bury themselves back into Cassian’s hair, as if it were a tether bringing her back down from the high she had been riding him.

Shame flooded Cassian as he realised his teeth were still clamped around her neck… that he had claimed her in front of Azriel without rational thought. He made his jaw go slack, ran the flat of his tongue repeatedly along the dented skin he had not quite punctured, licking away the pain as he gently ghosted over her folds, teasing the final dregs of pleasure from her.

Azriel bent to close his lips over Nesta’s clit, his mouth suckling at Cassian’s fingers as he lapped up the wetness, until Nesta shuddered from the sensitivity and pushed his head away.

“Was that good, sweetheart?” Cassian asked hoarsely, hoping to the Cauldron that Nesta was not going to shy away from him. He looked down to survey her flushed face. Her skin was sweaty and pink — beautiful — and he brushed away the golden brown hair that was stuck to her face, swiping his thumb along the arch of her cheekbone as he went.

He was amazed when Nesta only nodded in reply, tightening her grip on his hair to pull his mouth to hers. She allowed Azriel’s scarred hands to coax her legs open again as he stood between them. Only let out a low, shuddered moan as Azriel slid the length of him through her folds.

Azriel’s eyes met Cassian’s for a fraction of a second. For once the shadowsinger’s expression was not stoic. Instead, Cassian detected a wariness to his expression; the slight crease of his brow and the look in his eyes that it had all clicked into place.

But Cassian did not make a sound of protest as Azriel slowly eased the tip of his straining cock into Nesta. Tried to push down the territorial part of him that wanted to snarl and attack. Focussed only on the pleasure running down that bond that told him Nesta was safe and happy. That she wanted this.

Nesta let out a whimper as her body stretched to accommodate the shadowsinger, but still Azriel’s eyes did not leave Cassian’s face. Out of the two of them, Azriel was the longest. But Cassian was not far behind him, his cock thicker than the shadowsinger’s, allowing him to push against those vital nerve endings that most other males didn’t have the luxury of.

Grabbing a few pillows, Cassian coaxed them beneath Nesta’s head. When she reached up to grab his cock, he moaned. His moan was even louder when her other hand snaked around his hips, tugging him closer so his knees were cradling her head, his chest facing the end of the bed, offering him an unprecedented view of Azriel as he slid into her.

He nearly died when Nesta opened her mouth. Thought his heart would stop beating as he guided his cock between her lips.

Nesta’s mouth was wet and warm and tight, and Cassian let out a ragged moan as she fisted her hand around him and started to suck.

“Fuck, Nesta,” Cassian groaned in awe as he looked down at her — at his dick hard and throbbing in her mouth and Azriel’s cock, which was still easing into her. “You have no idea how unbelievable you look right now.” He pulled out of her mouth and tapped his cock onto her outstretched tongue. Nesta moaned, her hands coming up to slide around his hips again, to his buttocks, where she pressed insistently, urging him back into her mouth just as Azriel started some slow, shallow thrusts.

The motion made Nesta’s breasts start to bounce, and Cassian tracked the movement with a slack jaw, his eyes darting between them and her lips which were wrapped tightly around him. If her mouth hadn’t felt so heavenly, Cassian would have taken no time in straddling her waist and thrusting between her cleavage.

Perhaps that was something for another time, Cassian thought raggedly. Something for when it was just the two of them…

Nesta moaned around the length of him as Azriel started to pick up the pace, the shadowsinger sliding into her waiting body in that dark and brooding way of his. His jaw was also slack, his eyes moving between Nesta’s breasts and mouth, as if he too couldn’t decide which was more appealing.

Pleasure spiked through Cassian as Azriel gave a long, hard thrust. The pleasure was not just his own, it clung deep to his insides, curling like a sensual fog around his ribcage.

To feel his own arousal was one thing, but to feel another’s so keenly had the primal part of Cassian springing to the forefront.

“Can I fuck your mouth, sweetheart?” he begged raggedly, pulling his cock out of her mouth again. More pre-cum was leaking from the tip and he watched it drip into Nesta’s waiting mouth. She swallowed it with another moan, that beautiful frown twisting her expression as Azriel sunk in again right to the hilt.

Her hands closed fast around the hand he had placed on her cheek. “Will you let me?” He urged, his wings snapping out wide as she sucked his thumb into her mouth.

When Nesta nodded, the gesture was almost desperate and her eyes glittered in a way he had not seen before.

“Good girl,” Cassian breathed, bending to briefly press his swollen lips to hers. “I’ll be gentle with you, I promise.”

He swore as he started to move, the sight of his cock sliding between her lips too good to be true. He grunted, watching the tantalising column of her throat moving as she took him with every measured thrust. As Azriel started to pick up the pace, his hips slapping into Nesta’s in a relentless, tireless rhythm, pressing his weight on the undersides of Nesta’s thighs, holding her wide open…

And from the noises that Nesta started to make, Cassian knew that it wasn’t just he and Azriel that were enjoying it. He could hear her arousal too; the wet, slick sound as Azriel plunged into Nesta over and over. Even the shadowsinger had resorted to thick, heavy breathing, his chest heaving as his chiselled body moved in time with Nesta’s.

“She’s close,” Cassian told the Azriel, pulling out of Nesta’s mouth to bend and kiss her again. He caught her lower lip between his teeth as he pulled back, tugging lightly, his hands coaxing Nesta’s to her breasts, to pinch and twist at her nipples.

“Aren’t you, sweetheart?” Cassian asked Nesta softly. He caught her chin gently between his thumb and forefinger, urging her to meet his gaze. When Nesta opened her eyes, the smoky blue of her irises were glazed with the heady sort of pleasure that gave way to something more open… more vulnerable. The Nesta that Cassian had come to know in their times between the sheets.

Faelight caught in the lust-filled pupils of Azriel’s eyes, his irises glittering with promise. His abs were gleaming with sweat, the room hot with lust and their desperate pants.

Cassian gripped at his cock with his other hand. Squeezed his fist around the length to ease the tension.

“Azriel’s being a gentlemale, sweetheart,” Cassian continued, his voice a rasp as he raked his eyes appreciatively over the shadowsinger. “He wants you to come again.

“Make me then,” Nesta part-snarled, part-moaned at Azriel, reaching down to pull his scarred hand between her legs. Azriel’s eyes flared and then, without further delay, he thrust hard into Nesta’s waiting body.

Nesta cried out. Cassian felt the pleasure that sparked beneath her closed eyelids as her back arched in desperation at the sudden, punishing rhythm. Azriel sucked at his thumb, dropping it between her legs, using the moisture to press down on Nesta’s clit over and over as he pummelled inside of her.

“That’s it,” Cassian murmured, one hand dropping to fist his member as he held Nesta’s face in the other. He had moved to the side of her head, wanting more than anything to watch the ecstasy unfold across her features. To slide his cock into her mouth just as she came. To stifle the moans as she fell over the edge.

Nesta whined as Cassian moved, her hands grappling for purchase on his muscular thighs, tugging his hips down until the tip of him was in her mouth again and her fist was wrapped around the base.

She pumped and sucked in tandem, doing the best she could at the angle, her moans vibrating down the length of him in a way that was too much, too good…“Fucking hell,” Cassian swore as Nesta’s eyes rolled into the back of her head. She tore her mouth from him to let out a sharp cry, her fist holding onto him as Azriel pounded her into the mattress.

Cassian’s eyes darted to the scarred hand which was working furiously at that bundle of nerves. Which was clearly doing the job as Nesta cried out, her eyelids fluttering shut…

“Are you going to come?” Azriel’s low, deep voice caressed its way across the mattress, his words more an order than a question. Nesta did not reply, she only frowned, pleasure contorting her face in a way that somehow made her look even more divine.

“Sweetheart, did you hear?” Cassian dragged his fingers through Nesta’s tangled hair, hoping his touch would coax her to open her eyes — to connect with him. She was biting her lip, hard enough that Cassian wouldn’t be surprised if she broke the skin. “Azriel wants to know if you’re close.” Another gentle comb of his fingers through the hair that had come free from her braid. “Are you going to come with my cock in your mouth?”

Those eyelids fluttered open slowly, as if they were too heavy. Nesta was panting now, her stomach clenching in a way that told Cassian she was already a goner.

“Yes.” The word came out on an exhale of breath as Azriel slammed into her hard. It was barely audible but Cassian caught it. He watched her brow furrow even further as she whimpered, her fingers scrabbling to find purchase around his thighs “Yes, I -“

Then Nesta’s mouth latched back onto his cock just in time for her body to start shaking.

Azriel groaned, his usual composure shattered as Nesta’s body arched sharply, her thighs trembling as she broke and broke and broke. Cassian inhaled sharply, desperately fumbling for some sense of control as he tried not to follow her. For all the females he had bedded, Nesta was something else entirely. Watching her break was usually his undoing as it was, but to have her pleasuring two males at the same time…

It took everything in Cassian to pull his cock from her mouth. To press his lips to hers.

“Doesn’t she look beautiful when she comes?” Cassian asked Azriel, but he was not looking at the shadowsinger, unable to help but bow again to kiss Nesta’s swollen lips.

“Devastating,” Azriel replied, as he withdrew. He was still rock hard, clearly having enough sense to know that Cassian would rip him apart if he came inside of his mate. Gently, the shadowsinger ran his scarred hands up and down the outsides of Nesta’s calves and the tops of her thighs, before he stepped away to kneel onto the mattress.

He settled himself at the top of the bed, his back against the headrest, his erection hard and insistent against his stomach. For once the shadowsinger looked ruffled, his blue black hair tousled. With a long stretch he fanned out his wings, the claws at the apex gripping the top of the tall bed frame.

Nesta had fallen quiet, her arm thrown across her face as she caught her breath, but at the sound of Azriel’s claws on the metal frame, she turned onto her stomach.

She crawled up the bed on her hands and knees until she reached his lap, where she collapsed onto her elbows, her stomach flush with the mattress. Azriel stared down at Nesta with obvious surprise, his eyes glinting as he ran his scarred hands over her hair, holding back the tendrils that had come free from her plait.

Lips slightly parted, Azriel guided his dick past Nesta’s lips. Nesta moaned softly. When she tried to fit as much of Azriel’s length into her mouth as possible, both Cassian and Azriel let out a grunt of approval.

“Cassian,” Nesta breathed insistently after a few bobs of her head. She craned her neck to stare at him. And when she lifted her hips slightly from the bed, her thighs rubbing together as if already she was trying to grant some friction between her legs, Cassian had to bite back a moan. “Fuck me.”

“Like this?” Cassian asked uncertainly, frowning as he ran his hands down her waist and over her hips.

For all the times they had joined, they had never tried that position. Cassian knew what had happened to her. Had guessed what position she had been pinned into when that human filth had assaulted her. Could see the four silvery scratch marks that raked down her lower back and across her left buttock.

“Please,” she breathed, her eyes so trusting that for a moment his heart clenched.

But Cassian couldn’t do it. Couldn’t risk her panicking and ruining everything. So he bent his head to briefly kiss those silvery scars before he turned to lie flat on his back. He coaxed her hips upwards, until there was enough room for him to slide his head between her legs. Then, he splayed his wings out on either side of him, the tips hanging over the huge bed.

Nesta whimpered at the first touch of his tongue and Cassian held in a groan as he lapped at her folds. He knew she was too sensitive to come straight away. Knew that she needed some gentle coaxing to relax her body back into it.

He listened to the sucking sounds of Nesta’s mouth and the occasional, soft moan. Listened to the shadowsinger’s laboured breathing. Growled appreciatively himself when Nesta started to move her hips of her own volition.

When her moans turned wild and untamed, Cassian heard Azriel ask Nesta quietly, “Is that good?”

A whimpered, garbled reply sounded around the room as Cassian latched onto her clit and sucked it into his mouth.

He let out a muffled moan as he felt her body start to tremble.

“Cassian,” Nesta moaned in warning. She tried to pull her hips away from him but he held her down fast. “Cassian.” Not a desperate moan this time, but an angry one. Anger which swept down that bond so fiercely it felt as if he were being scorched.

He let go of her hips and tore his mouth away from her.

“Fuck me,” she snarled, the sound desperate and pleading, and Cassian didn’t need to tilt his head back to know she was glaring at him. “Just-“

“Come here, Nesta.”

Azriel cut her off, pulling her up with him until they were both on their knees and Cassian was tilting his head back to stare up at them. And then, as if she weighed nothing, Azriel slid his scarred hands under her hips and lifted her to his body.

Cassian could sense Nesta’s confusion. Felt that primal part of him start to snap as she wrapped her long legs around the shadowsinger’s waist. But then Azriel was settling Nesta down over Cassian’s body, so her knees were straddling his hips just below his outstretched wings.

When Nesta sank down onto Cassian with a satisfied moan, the room bled into nothing. Cassian let out a slow shaky breath, trying to control that lust-driven piece of him that wanted to pursue both of their pleasure until he was slamming into her body. Instead, he gave himself a moment to take stock. To relish in the moment he had been denying himself of all evening: the feeling of her tight and wet around him. He drank in the view before him: the parted lips, the flushed face, and most importantly, the wide eyes that were seeing for the first time in weeks.

Nesta leant over his body, her arms coming to frame his face as he caught her hips, guiding her to start riding him, her pelvis grinding into his in way that was so perfect he swore.

Cassian just caught the tempting sway of her breasts before her mouth slanted over his. It was not a desperate kiss but slow and passionate, as if she too was relieved that they were finally joined.

“Are you going to make Azriel come?” Cassian asked her softly, when she finally drew away from him. He leant up to capture a nipple briefly in his mouth, lavishing it with attention, his teeth nipping softly over the peak in the way she liked. When Nesta circled her hips down onto him so he was pressing deep inside of her, he groaned and let go, his head falling back onto the mattress.

Winding his fingers into Nesta’s hair with one hand, he pulled her down for another searing kiss. “He’s been so good to you, hasn’t he?” he murmured, snapping his hips up into hers so that she let out a long whimper. “I think he deserves to finish.”

Still whimpering, Nesta nodded. And then, without a fuss, she raised herself back up onto her knees, allowing the shadowsinger to step closer.

Azriel came to stand on the mattress by Cassian’s right shoulder. His fist was moving furiously up and down his swollen member, in a way that told Cassian the shadowsinger had held off long enough.

The view was phenomenal. Cassian groaned as he watched Azriel guide his cock into Nesta’s mouth. It sparked Cassian into action. Gripping Nesta’s hips, he started to drive upwards, setting a punishing pace that he knew would result in Nesta being nothing but a mass of screaming, trembling limbs by the time he was finished.

With a slack jaw, Cassian watched Nesta’s head start to bob. Watched as Azriel’s control slipped and his hips thrust into her waiting mouth with a speed that told Cassian that it would not be long until he was spurting hot come.

A grunted groan fell from Azriel’s throat as Nesta whimpered rather than backed away. As she relaxed her throat so she could take more of him. It was the loudest sound the shadowsinger had made that evening and it made something spike inside Cassian’s blood. He brought his feet up so they were flat on the mattress, making use of his pelvic-floor and the new angle to slam relentlessly into Nesta’s body.

The noise of smacking skin was nothing on the cry that came from Nesta. She tore her mouth from Azriel to bury her head into the shadowsinger’s left hip, muffling the moans that told Cassian he had tapped into something vital. He felt Nesta’s body turn pliant, watched Azriel’s hands fall to grip Nesta side, keeping her upright.

“Already?” Azriel murmured disbelievingly to Nesta. It was rare for the shadowsinger to speak so much during sex, usually he remained dark and brooding and left Cassian to let his mouth run away from him. “Are you going to come again, so soon?”

A moaned affirmation and then a sharp cry as Cassian ground his hips up into Nesta’s.

“Will you make me come first?” Azriel asked gently, urging Nesta to look up at him with those cloudy blue eyes. His fist was erratically pounding at the base of his cock and he stifled a deep groan as he eased his erection back into Nesta’s mouth. His shadows were swirling fast around him now, betraying just how close he was to that pinnacle. How in moments, he would break.

Azriel’s scarred hands lightly cradled the back of Nesta’s head despite his other, frenzied movements, holding back the hair that had escaped from the plait that was now loose and messy.

A groan tore itself from Cassian’s throat as Nesta closed her lips and suckled at the engorged head of Azriel’s cock. The sound snapped into a pleased growl when she nodded furiously, staring up at the shadowsinger beneath thick eyelashes. “Good girl,” Azriel praised, briefly stilling his movements as he lightly touched his fingers to her cheek.

Then his hand was moving again, faster and faster, his shadows swirling and twisting around his limbs, throwing him in and out of shadow so frantically that Cassian nearly missed Azriel’s expression as it twisted with his impending release…

And then Azriel’s shadows were thrown outwards, casting the shadowsinger in nothing but light as he pulled out of Nesta’s mouth. The shadowsinger tugged urgently at Nesta’s hair, pulling her head back to expose the generous cleavage Azriel had been eyeing since Nesta had first taken off her camisole. It all happened just in time, and then the shadowsinger was coming, huge spurts streaming from the tip and onto Nesta’s breasts.

It was too much for Cassian - a boundary that shouldn’t have been crossed - a feral snarl unleashing itself from his chest a he watched Azriel claim his mate’s skin. His blood surged fiercely through his veins — chanting mine, mine, mine — as he drove Nesta’s hips down to meet his again, circling them in the way that he knew made her body go slack and all of her focus fall to the pressure building in that bundle of nerves between her legs.

Cassian did not see Azriel shudder or the shadows that whispered back to the shadowsinger, sheathing his face in patches of dark. Did not see how Azriel bent down to cup Nesta’s wet breasts, to pull her nipples into his mouth in turn. Did not even see the shadowsinger blend completely into shadow as Cassian started to drive he and Nesta into simultaneous release.

All he cared about was the pursuit of that shared pleasure that would bind the two of them together. The pitch of Nesta’s wild, ragged moans as she met him thrust for thrust, circling her hips down onto his. The way she fell over his body to press her lips urgently to his, their tongues battling in a way that was too perfect, too much…

“Cassian,” Nesta breathed, and he knew from the way her voice trembled that this release was going to be more intense than the others. “Cassian.”

Pleasure surged between them, that shared bond swelling, cracking Nesta’s ice. His light plummeted to meet hers just as that inky dark rushed towards him, and when the two forces met, Cassian knew he was a goner.

“Me too, sweetheart,” he gasped, throwing his top half upwards so he was seated. “Me too. Fuck-”

His spare hand clapped against her ass, his fingers digging into the flesh as she rode him with abandon. Cassian just caught sight of Nesta’s glistening chest before she pressed her forehead to his, tangling her fingers into the snarled strands of his hair as if they were her reigns.

And then everything seized, his balls tightening in a way that was almost painful. He let out a hoarse yell, the sound mingling with Nesta’s sharp, vulnerable cry as blessed relief flooded through every nerve ending. His cock throbbed, the pleasure so intense the breath was knocked from him, and he could do nothing but allow Nesta to ride out her own release as he came inside of her in forceful spurts.

When they were nothing but a mass of intertwined limbs and heaving, gasping lungs, Cassian cupped a palm to the back of her head. Nesta had not broken eye contact with him since she had shattered, but now she squeezed her eyes shut as she took the time to recover.

“Ok?” Cassian rasped gently.

He laid them back onto the bed and rolled them so they were both on their side. He was still inside of her, but his cock was softening, slowly slipping out of her body.

Neither of them moved as his come ran down both of their legs.

Eventually, Cassian brought his left wing down to drape over Nesta like a blanket, shielding her from… he didn’t know what.

Something.

Anything.

“Here.” Azriel appeared out of the shadows with a wet cloth in his hands, and Cassian begrudgingly retracted his wing as Nesta moved onto her back.

The shadowsinger was already dressed, having clearly picked up his clothing on the way to the bathroom. The top few buttons that were undone on his shirt were the only indication of what the three of them had just done.

When Nesta did not move, the shadowsinger quickly ran the cloth over her breasts and stomach, cleaning up the mess he had made. Then without a word, he handed it to Cassian. Even though Cassian was gentle, Nesta gasped as he wiped the cloth between her legs, her body shuddering with sensitivity, and she buried her face into the sheets to stifle the sound.

Cassian pressed a kiss to the wing bones of each hip in apology.

“I should head back.”

There was no remorse in the shadowsinger’s voice, but… that wariness was back. His movements even more measured than usual, as if he thought Cassian was unpredictable, ready to pounce and snarl at any given moment.

Cassian nodded. “Ok, I’ll see you here tomorrow.”

The shadowsinger briefly touched his hand to Nesta’s hair in goodbye, and before she could even contemplate lifting her head, he had folded into shadow.

“Sweetheart,” Cassian said softly, tracing a calloused thumb over high cheekbone. “Do you want me to move you to your bed?”

A small, immediate sound of disapproval reached Cassian’s ears as Nesta turned her face even further into the blanket.

“Come here then,” he murmured, his heart leaping against his ribcage as if it were trying to escape.

Gathering Nesta to his body, Cassian pulled her under the blankets with him. Surprise wound through him as she tucked herself up against him, as if it were the most natural thing in the world for them to be this close when they were not bedding the other. Her leg slipped between his, her face burying itself into the crook of his shoulder as she breathed him in, as if the scent of his skin brought her comfort.

Cassian brought his hand to wind into the hair at the base of her neck. Nesta’s loose braid was almost undone, and Cassian pulled the tie free from the ends. Slowly, he unravelled the remaining twists until her hair fell free, a golden brown sheen that ran through his fingers as he gently coaxed out the tangles.

Nesta made a sound that Cassian almost dissected as a purr, followed by a contented sigh into his neck, as if she were there to stay. But when he arched his wing over them, cocooning them in umber, she rolled her head back onto the pillow so she could survey them.

Everything went still inside of him as Nesta raised a curious hand, but he came to just in time, catching her wrist before her fingers brushed across the membrane.

He pressed his lips to her knuckles for a moment too long, watching her slight frown and the way she blinked blearily at him.

“Not yet,” he explained softly, but did not embellish further. Did not need to, as Nesta silently nestled back into his shoulder.

Weaving his fingers back into her hair, Cassian listened to the sound of her breathing until it became even.

Then, he lost her to darkness.

***

The trip to the Winter Court was only for three days but it felt like longer. Rather than making the most of the time with his friends, Cassian knew that his jovial mask did nothing to convince his nearest and dearest that he would rather be somewhere else entirely. Indeed, on multiple occasions, Cassian had fought the urge to beg Azriel to winnow him back to Illyria, just so he could check on Nesta.

His absence from her made his heart ache so terribly he felt as if he were in pain, and all he could think about was the way Nesta had still been asleep when he had left. How her fingers had unconsciously tightened around his arm as he had untangled his limb from hers.

He’d left her a note. Reminded her when he would be back.

As usual, he did not know where they stood or how she would react when he returned. But that same night, when midnight blue had began to bleed into the promise of dawn, Cassian had m woken to Nesta’s lips against his and her hand on his already hard cock. Even as sleep had clutched at him, he had rolled them so she was on her back, so he could stare into the stormy depths of her blue eyes which were still open rather than closed. When he had entered her, Nesta’s moan had been soft and satisfied, her hair traipsed across the pillow in a sheen of honey. She had been soaked, and Cassian had let out a long, low groan as pushed into the hilt, before rocking his hips lazily into hers until they both gasped and shattered.

Now, Cassian stared out from the frost-bitten balcony that surrounded the breakfast room at the Winter palace. The air was sharp enough to bite, but Cassian had forgone the roaring hearths to stare out at the view; the vast expanse of white that undulated for miles until it met the evergreen forest at its horizon.

Rhys had asked Azriel to leave early, to blend into shadows as the court’s spymaster and gather intelligence from the Illyrian camps, but Cassian heard the footsteps that were unmistakably Azriel’s as someone stepped out onto the balcony behind him.

They had not spoken about their union with Nesta. Their previous antics beneath the sheets had not been something they had ever discussed after they had taken place, but Cassian knew from the distance Azriel had been keeping from him ever since that this would not be like those other times.

Cassian did not turn as the shadowsinger stepped up to the wall of the stone balcony. It was wreathed in vines of ivy, the plant kissed with frost.

“Did you want to do it?”

Holding back a snort at the direct question, Cassian tracked the great, white polar bear which had padded out beneath the fur trees and tried not to think about the blinding pleasure that had whipped through him at his release, or the way that Nesta’s body had fit perfectly against his as they slept.

“Obviously,” Cassian drawled.

But Azriel steadied him with a look so searing Cassian finally had to meet the shadowsinger’s eyes.

“You’re mates,” Azriel announced.

A muscle feathered in Cassian’s jaw. “Yes.”

He’d never admitted aloud before, not even to himself.

But Azriel only dipped his chin at the confirmation. “I suspected, but when you initiated it all, I thought you couldn’t be, because there would be no way that you’d allow me to join you both otherwise.”

A harsh grunt sounded from Cassian’s throat. “You both wanted it. I wasn’t going to let you do it without me, was I?”

Azriel cocked his head at his brother. “You know I wouldn’t have done it without you. Nesta wouldn’t have done it without you.”

A pause. Then Azriel asked, “Does she know?”

A huff of misted breath. “You should have asked, Does she care?”

“She cares,” Azriel replied. “Her eyes have this hollow quality most of the time. But sometimes, when she looks at you, it’s as if you have woken her up.”

“She’s good for you,” Azriel dared to continue after a moment. “She doesn’t let you pretend.”

Cassian knew what Azriel was doing. Giving his blessing for a relationship nobody else seemed to understand but which the shadowsinger had now been privy to. Cassian wondered what it had been like from Azriel’s point-of-view, glimpsing those moments between he and Nesta that were so raw and vulnerable rather than guarded or fiery.

Cassian’s mouth tightened into a thin line. “It was hard,” he admitted eventually. “Not to be overly territorial.”

Azriel let out a rare chuckle. He did not mention the times in which Cassian had snarled or the furious way in which he had pummelled into Nesta when Azriel had come. But that was how it always was between he and Azriel, the two Illyrian bastards who had bonded from an upbringing of loneliness and a deprivation of love. No judgement. Only silent understanding.

The shadowsinger’s lips were still turned up at the corners as he pushed away from the railing. “Who knew you were so restrained,” he quipped lightly, his chilled voice perfect in the brisk snowy weather of the Winter Court. “I’ll see you in a week.”

And then he bled into shadow.

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#acotar #nesta x cassian #acosf #nessian #nessianfic #acomaf #acowar #cassian #embersandlightfic #nestaarcheron #Azriel #Azriel/Nesta/cassian #secret snowflake

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upside-down-uni · 3 years

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Hey! Idk if this is too much t9 ask, but could you rec me 2, 19, 20, 45, 55, 63, 69, 71, 72, 75, 86, 104, 111, 116, 131? sorry if it’s a lot but thanks in advance if u can rec me some! :)

Hi, you're in luck! I have an essay to procrastinate on and this ask is just the right thing to distract me! Here you go, I hope you'll find something that you like:

2. a book with a blue cover

Radio Silence by Alice Oseman. When i read it for the first time I was just on the brink of going to uni, still figuring out what I even wanted to study and this book just wrapped me in a warm blanket and said "it's going to be okay". I love the main characters Frances and Aled, their arcs and especially the really nice and quiet queer rep in this book.

19. a book that put you in a reading slump

The Knife Of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness. When I start a book I generally have the feeling that I can't put it away until I have finished it. With The Knife Of Never Letting Go my problem was that I did want to read it but it didn't fit my mood, so I couldn't bring myself to read it but also beat myself up about not reading it until I put it back onto my shelf. So, I basically pushed myself into a reading slump over this book.

21. a book with a red cover

Honey Girl by Morgan Rogers. I enjoyed this book so much but probably not for the reasons most people would think I enjoyed it? The wlw romance was definitely nice and I really liked them being dramatic but also kind of mundane? What really got me though was the strong theme of found family of young adults and queer friendships, that really yanked the yearning hours wide fucking open for me. (I also liked that in the end the book wasn't as much about romance as it was about finding yourself after surrendering yourself to academia for ages and working through your issues.)

45. a book featuring the friends to lovers trope

The Priory Of The Orange Tree by Samantha Shannon. I adore this book. It's so long and there's so much incredible world building and history in it that it made reading an untter delight! Coming in it was a bit hard to acclimate to the slow paste but after a while I just settled in and enjoyed the ride. It's a breathtaking story in a breathtaking universe and afaik there's a second part coming!

55. a book with a satisfying ending

Yolk by Mary H. K. Choi. Yolk doesn't really have an ending in the sense of a "happily ever after" but I really loved where the author chose to leave the characters and how she did it. The book is quite different from what I usually read, tonewise, but especially that ending made me leave the book with a warm feeling. (also the cover is yellow and really really gorgeous)

63. a book that actually made you laugh out loud

I would've reccd Red White and Royal Blue but judging by your url you've read that already...sooooo, it's Snapdragon by Kat Leyh! Super cute graphic novel, with a weird and adorable storyline and such lovable characters!

69. your favorite mythological retelling

I haven't read a mythological retelling in ages, so basic Percy Jackson by Rick Riordan will have to do.

71. your favorite LGBTQ+ fiction

now that's just rude how am I supposed to choose?? I'll say it's Every Heart A Doorway by Seanan McGuire and Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir and Loveless by Alice Oseman. I feel very strongly and very distinctly about all of them, if you can get your hands on them my only comment is READ. (and maybe make sure you're okay with gothic sci-fi horror for Gideon The Ninth)

72. a book with a gorgeous cover

Plain Bad Heroines by Emily M. Danforth. It's her adult gothic horror debut after The Miseducation of Cameron Post and not only is the hardcover just stunning in black and red, it also got illustrations inside!! (And all teh women are queer and it's deliciously fucked up!)

75 a book featuring the I'm not like other girls trope

I think the closest I can come to that is The Lady's Guide To Piracy and Petticoats by Mackenzi Lee. The main character has to unlearn a bunch of stuff really fast if she wants to get along with the only other people that will help her. We have road trips in the 16th century, kidnapping and asshole husbands to be, piracy of course and friendship!

86. a book with an insane plot twist

Sawkill Girls by Claire Legrand. Sawkill Girls was my first touch with horror and I have to say I have no idea whether there was heavy foreshadowing. I think I remember thinking that there was something else to come but when the shit hit the fan I just sat there with big questionmarks over my head because I had read the book in a frenzy in one evening and truly did NOT anticipate it. As someone who did not read horror or thriller before this I have to say I was already insanely confused and disgusted by a bunch of stuff that went down. But then...uh. the thing happened and I was just lost. (In a good way though.)

104. a fluffy sweet read

Let's Talk About Love by Claire Kann. It's been a while ever since I read it but it's essentially a cute summer story about Alice who's a disaster bisexual when she sees people she finds cute. Which is a little inconvenient because the new guy at her job is really, really, really extremely cute and she ceases to function around him. There's best friend drama, eating pizza iirc and figuring shit out!

111. a book writing a book

I assume it's either "a book about writing a book" or I am literally supposed to rec a book that is writing a book...I'm going to rec a book that is about books! (because I can.) It's The Girl Who Reads on the Métro by Christine Féret-Fleury and it follows a young woman called Juliette wo gets sucked into an old bookseller's world of life saving, life changing books. A really quiet, really cute book.

116. a book with multiple povs

the Reckless books by Cornelia Funke! Simply divine stroytelling, a vibrant world and amazing characters! I have to say that I only know the German original so I don't know what the English translation might be like.

131. recommend any book you like

um. so knife gang members and people who follow my main, you'll once again be subjected to me being a mess because of lesbian necromancers in space! I've mentioned it before, it lives in my head rent free, it is the one, the only Gideon The Ninth by Tamsyn Muir! It's an insane sci-fi horror fantasy blend where Gideon has to play cavalier to Reverend Daughter Harrowhark I-love-being- an-absolute-pain-in-the-ass-to-Gideon Nonagesimus to help her become an uber-necromancer (like Harrow needs motivation to become even more of a nerd and shockingly good at necromancy) for the Necrolord Prime/Undying Emperor. There's BEAUTIFUL WRITING sprinkled with MEMES when you least expect it. There is incredible toxic codependency and repression. There's MURDER. There's fancy necromancy theorems and DUELS. There's enemies to begrudging allies to ??? Staple your socks to your feet or this book will blow them clean off!

#book rec asks #mo answers #thanks for asking!#idk when you sent this ask but it popped up in my inbox just today so here you go!

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capricornsims · 3 years

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Strangetown Mystery 15: RUN

“ We’re stuck here because you!”

“ I don’t want to argue about this, Johnny. I love you, and I want to keep all of you safe. “

That was the last conversation Johnny had with his father.

Hope was long gone, buried in the cyclone of purple spores that poisoned the air. The streets of Strangetown were silent save for the groaning of spore-infected zombies, most people stood inside these days, too afraid to venture out and encounter their fallen brethren or become infected themselves. The weather that day would have been sunny if the spore clouds didn’t hang low in the atmosphere.

Unaffected by the bizarre spores, Johnny often ventured out of the Bunker to catch the glimpses of the outside world beyond the barbed wire fence. Looking out into the horizon only drove home the fact that his family was nowhere near freedom, things were only going to get worse and he had his adulthood to look forward to living inside of a concrete box… or being transported to Division 47 to be experimented on… After all, he had not seen his father in weeks and questioning Buzz was out of the question. The General said that PT9 was running experiments, but what if he was being experimented on? He watched his family’s morale deteriorate after their father disappeared behind the laboratory doors. His mother dropped whatever façade she was putting on, choosing to stay locked in her bedroom holding onto the last piece that she had of PT9. Meanwhile, Jill was growing even more restless crying herself to sleep most of the time, and lighting things on fire in rebellion. Johnny did not want to acknowledge the schemes his uncles were plotting, the last time he saw Pascal enter the lab he looked completely insane!

��Johnny needed to get out. The cement walls of the Bunker only served as a reminder of the freak of nature that he was, the result of an unorthodox union between a human and some extraterrestrial species. Jill even got it in her head that she deserved to be imprisoned, feeling “safe” in confinement compared to the outside world. The thought of being trapped forever instilled a fear that Johnny never felt before, as if the walls around him were closing in on him, so tight that he could not escape and return to the life he made for himself in Strangetown. If he ended up behind the laboratory doors, he would never see Ophelia or Ripp again… he needed to RUN.

He returned to the bunker before he rose suspicion, entering the bleak facility once more. The cell that his family resided in held an uncomfortable atmosphere of dread, masked by Jenny’s failed attempts at keeping things normal. That night she burned the food again because she was spacing out at the wall, too deep in her thoughts to notice Johnny turn off the stove and lead her to the couch.

Johnny: I made up my mind. I’m leaving tonight.

Jenny: Leaving? Now? I mean- what would your father think if he returned.

Johnny: If he returned? It’s been weeks… You and I both know that he would visit every day if he was actually working here.

Jenny: Don’t say such things… he is fine.

Johnny could tell she was at the brink of snapping, her smile faltered as she gripped onto his arm.

Jenny: He is fine…he’s going to come back.

She reassured herself, but the tears streaming down her face said differently. She turned to her son and nodded in agreement, she had a feeling that something was very wrong with their situation. Jenny had to face the guilt that she failed to protect her husband but she had a chance when it came to her children. If Johnny escaped the bunker, she would know he was safe. Her first son was always resilient and the harsh words he dealt with over the years made sure of that. It was hard enough to see her son grow up so fast, and the thought of throwing her firstborn out into the dangers of the infected world scared her.

Johnny: I am going to be fine, mom. I swear Ripp is going to get me to Deadtree. That is where Ophelia lives so I can hide out there.

Jenny: I know you will be fine… but I can’t help but worry that my boy is running out into an apocalypse. But whatever it is you have a better chance in Deadtree than in here. Tell Ophelia I said hi...

Johnny: If dad does show up, tell him that I’m okay, and I that I’m sorry for yelling at you guys.

Jenny: I’m sure he already knows… He’s proud of you.

Tears welled up in his eyes when she mentioned his father. A pang of guilt struck at his heart knowing that their last conversation had been an argument... and even then his father would still be proud of him. Now was not the time to be emotional, but the tight hug his mom was giving him, let some tears escape before he pulled away.

Johnny leaned down to his little sister, and she wrapped arms around him tightly and hugged him close. She clung to him like a koala so he couldn’t pull away if he tried.

Jill: Promise me that you’ll come back!

Johnny: Can’t promise much but the next time you see me we’re getting out of here!

Jill: Then come back sooner !!

Johnny: Look after mom, and baby bro. I will be back soon.

Jenny: Watcher, protect this boy. Don’t let him get hurt.

3:00 a.m.

Johnny approached the general store just as it was about to close, the sight of Ripp leaning against the wall filled him with relief as he approached him. The stars shone brightly in the sky and the sound of crickets and coyotes filled the air as they spoke. He could hardly contain his excitement as Ripp shoved snacks into his shirt pockets and planned their escape. This was happening, he was going to be free or die trying in the process.

Johnny: Alright Ripp let’s get the hell out of here! Where is the car?

Ripp: Car? We don’t have a car. The best chances we have is if we run as fast as we can until we reach the edge of town.

Johnny: RIPP! That’s insane! We can’t run that fast!

Ripp: Keep it down dude... Look I disabled Tank’s computer, he won’t be able to check the security cameras until someone fixes them... plus we need to at least try.

Johnny: Fine we will go with your plan just open the gates already so we can get a head start.

3:05 a.m.

Ripp opened the gates of the compound, the loud sound of creaking metal rang through the air as the teens slipped through the small crack that they made. What was the point of being stealthy when their plan involved running for their lives! Johnny and Ripp shared laughter as they bounded through the desert, exposed to the outside world and tasting freedom for the first time in ages. Johnny couldn’t believe that this was actually working since Ripp’s other plan was to “Run faster!”. But so far, They were in the home run!

Tank: Huh... All the cameras seem frozen.. F*ck I need to tell the General about this.

3:10 a.m.

Jenny: Do you really think head counts at this time is sane?!

Buzz: JENNY NOW IS NOT THE TIME FOR GAMES. WHERE IS THAT GREEN BASTARD?!

Jenny: I don’t know Buzz... maybe he’s in the bathrooms or went out for fresh air.

Buzz: THAT IS GENERAL BUZZ GRUNT TO YOU- I ONLY COUNTED TWO of YOU! Where is the SON!

Jenny: WHERE IS MY HUSBAND GENERAL BUZZ GRUNT?! Shouldn’t YOU be more concerned that he isn’t here!?

Buzz: I-I know where he is I am asking about your -

Tank: * over the phone * General, the security cams are tampered with, someone must have messed with them.

Buzz: * over the phone * Not now, Tank I am with Mrs. Smith....What?! What do you mean messed with,Tank?! ... What do you MEAN THE GATE IS OPEN!?

He heard he alarms blare out, signaling the escape of Johnny Smith. His face grew a deep shade of red, the sound of Jenny’s frantic nagging pierced his ears as his mind tried to conceive what the hell was going on. He escorted Jenny back to her cell, trying to ignore her comments about PT9 and the way she broke down when she was locked inside. “ Don’t hurt him!” Was the last thing he heard as he rushed out of the bunker towards the open gate.

3:15 a.m.

The General shoved Tank out of the way, yelling at the top of his lungs about how incompetent's he was, the alarms blared as they stood there, looking out at the expansive desert and the darkness ahead of them. Through the haze of the darkness there were vague sounds of shuffling zombies and coyotes

Buzz: I’m going after them! Do your job and watch the bunker, soldier!

The cool night air was thick with spores as Johnny and Ripp ran through the infected desert. The cyclone rose into the sky, as lightning struck into the crater, a great rumbling shook the ground beneath their feet as growls rang through the sky. Johnny even spotted one of the infected, dazed and sputtering nonsense as she moved and jerked around them. He had no time to waste taking in the absolute disaster that Strangetown had become. Freedom in this new world felt odd, sure he was safe from becoming a science experiment, but now he was exposed to the infection, the zombies and the townsfolk that knew who he was... He couldn’t wait to get to Dead Tree after all of this.

3:15 a.m.

Buzz: I WILL CAPTURE YOU SMITH! YOU CAN’T RUN FOREVER!

Buzz: MARK MY WORDS, BOY YOU WILL BE SORRY!

Buzz: RUN ALL YOU WANT BUT YOU CANNOT ESCAPE!

4:00 a.m

Johnny and Ripp broke out of the desert and into the other town located near by. The atmosphere was eerie and a thick fog hung over the neighborhood as they walked through the empty streets, the faint breeze carried the sounds of ethereal groans but the source was unknown. Ripp lead Johnny to one of the creepier buildings found in Deadtree, the Meeting house. The structure was foreboding and held the odd sensation that entering it would get them killed, yet this was where Ophelia lived now, and the only place Johnny could hide.

Johnny: Oh my watcher, thank you for helping me, Ripp. I can’t thank you enough.

Ripp: Any time bro, I wouldn’t know what to do If I found out that you were vivisected or something. It’s shady as hell so I’m glad I got you out first.

Johnny: Can you do me a solid and look after mom and Jill, they are still in danger...

Ripp: Heck yeah, I’ll even look out for your dad and see if he’s around. Anyways, I’m sure Ophelia is tired of waiting. Let’s get you inside.

Ophelia stood silently in the Meeting house, pacing around the small apartment she had above the main hall. She wore a plain brown jacket and the look on her face showed that she had not slept in ages. She turned when Ripp opened the door, a small smile formed on her lips as she asked about Johnny before turning back to the television she had on.

Johnny: Ophelia, I’m here. I made it out alive.

Ophelia: Johnny! You’re here! I missed you so much I could barely sleep. I’m so happy that you’re alive!

Johnny: I’m happy that i’m alive too... I am here to stay for a while so we can catch up a little.

Ophelia: I wouldn’t mind catching up with you, Johnny.

Johnny: Yeah we’ll get to that too. hehe

Ripp: Alright guys get a room. I’ll sleep on the couch tonight.

Ophelia: Yeah right! Come with us, Ripp. I think we all just need a nice break.

Strangetown Mystery 15.5: Test Subject

The weeks following Nervous’ disappearance were agonizingly painful and dull at the same time. The moment he returned to the castle he was met with a sharp needle to the neck and the unwelcome prospect of newly designed experiments for him to be subject to. He had heard about the Strangetown Syndrome and the effects it had on the human brain, the way that it spread into the spinal chord and made the body into a vessel as the person remained in a state of unconsciousness. The way that it made the body jolt and convulse made the joints ache incredibly, the spores taking over had to get used to walking on two legs and speaking the way humans do, after all.

All of these notes were taken down by Loki and Circe during the weeks that Nervous remained grounded in the basement, he could only tell time from the shifting of light in the glass windows and the routine experiments Loki was running on him. His entertainment was swiftly taken away upon his return, and any hand-me-down clothes he owned were confiscated, leaving him in a simple cotton hospital gown. To make matters worse, the Beakers were not holding back on the level of their brutality, as form of punishment they rarely paid attention to his pleas of mercy and continued experiments without hesitation. Not that he was fully conscious most of the time, his mind overtaken with pain killers, sedatives and the spores infecting his brain.

Sometimes he could feel the world around him grow dark, the welcoming embrace of nothingness enveloping his body and bringing him out of the world of pain and sadness he was in. The cold boney hands of death never touched him, but he begged for him to do so, the more he pleaded for escape the bastard only spared his life, returning him to the excruciating routine of electrocutions and chemical baths. He never understood why Death never came to him, over so many years he’s seen him many times bringing him a few seconds of relief before he woke up to Loki and Circe prodding his dying body. They seemed to enjoy the prospect that even he couldn’t escape through death.

Today, Nervous wasn’t sure what Loki was doing with him, only mindlessly following orders as the scientist tapped away at machines and made things glow and buzz. Sometimes the machines took a scan of him, sometimes they electrocuted him- he wouldn’t be surprised if it did, his right arm lost feeling long ago because of it.

Nervous: What are we doing...today..Loki.

Loki: Silence ! You, nervous subject, address me as Dr. Beaker in this lab.

Nervous: *grumble* Dr. Beaker.. What are we doing today?

Loki: I’m glad you asked, test subject. We are revolutionizing medicine in this lab. The Curious brothers have failed to produce a viable antidote in the time The Government allotted them. So I, Loki Beaker went out of my way to generously aid the public and produce a vaccine for them.

Nervous: I - don’t think that’s -

Loki: LEGAL? Well, Nervous, now’s not the time to do things the legal route. People are desperate, and they will come to ME for a cure. Thanks to you, my Nervous subject, people will be cured.

Loki: Now drink the f*cking antidote!

Nervous: No thank you! I’ve drank enough today. I can’t keep food down...I’m tired.

Loki: I will be sure to write that down...but THIS is a new formula. THIS will work, So DRINK IT!

Nervous: No! I said I was tired, Loki...

Loki: DR. BEAKER - How many times do we have to go through this? And you are tired? Nervous, you aren’t the one slaving away at this antidote! I AM! All you do is drink it and puke up all my work! You are Lucky that I don’t throw you out into the street!

Nervous: We have been doing this for weeks, Dr. Beaker, it’s not going to work.

Loki: I have been doing this for weeks. Nervous, we have come so far from the beginning. You don’t cough up blood, break out into rashes, or shake uncontrollably anymore. This. Will. Work.

The mad scientist forced Nervous to sit down in the chair next to them. His face was a deep seething red as the beaker was tipped into his test subject’s mouth. Nervous had no choice but to choke down the purple liquid while Loki glared down at him, making sure that he kept the chemical mixture in. The antidote tasted sweet at first, then the burning began at the back of his throat and spread throughout his body. He dropped the beaker and the glass shattered across the stone floor, sending Loki in a fit of rage as Nervous doubled over in pain.

Nervous could not make out the onslaught of Icelandic curses, he could hear the beating in his heart along with an ear piercing ringing. He felt his joints tense and ache as the world grew dark once more, but this was not death... Death was comforting even if temporary, this was excruciating.

Loki: That’s IT I’ve had it with you! You are clearly nothing but a useless guinea pig.....get out.....you are nothing....die...

Loki’s words were drawn out in between the ringing. The last thing he could feel were rough hands grabbing at his shoulders, lifting him out of the chair and dragging him across the stone floors.

The cool desert air hit his skin as he crumbled to the ground somewhere in front of the castle. Nothing mattered now....

ŦĦ€ ΜØŦĦ€Ř ĆΔŁŁED ΔŇĐ HE ΜUŞŦ Ř€ŞPØŇĐ

#strangetown #strangerville #strangetown mystery #johnny smith #jenny smith #buzz grunt #Ripp Grunt #Ophelia Nigmos #jill smith #Loki Beaker #nervous subject #tank grunt

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queenofthefullmoon · 4 years

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An exhaustive list of Dark Souls 3 bosses I would or would not date

Iudex/Champion Gundyr

We’re starting off this list with a strong yes. Our boy Gundyr has had a hard, difficult life, and he deserves some good company. He’s tall, strong, and I trust him to protect us as we set a lovely camp site outside of the fire link shrine.

Vordt of the Boreal Valley

Vordt is big and he is feral which are truly the only two qualities I look for in a man. Together we’d be unstoppable. I mean, think about how easy it would be to go around with him: just climb on his back and let the rodeo begin, baby. This argument alone should be enough to convince you that Vordt is a suitable boyfriend, but here’s another one: if you get too hot in the summer, worry fucking not for your gigantic man can hold his equally gigantic hammer over you and cover you with snow like an italian man covering his pasta with parmesan.

Cursed Rotted Greatwood

Now while I’m certain it would be a perfect partner for some people, the Cursed Rotted Greatwood isn’t for me. For one, I am not fan of curses, or rot, or weird sticky balls, or strange orange acid, or pale white and slightly viscous hands bursting through a living tree. Secondly, I feel like the crowd of Hollows who group up around the tree would be a big impediment to our intimacy, and I’m not ready to be the mother of 20 Hollows.

Crystal Sage

No offense but you’d be an idiot for not wanting to date the Crystal Sage. All wrapped up in one package, you get a super competent sorcerer bf, who wears the coolest hat in the galaxy and an equally cool cape, and who overall looks like the upgraded version of a plague doctor. In addition to that he also has a pretty rapier so you can both engage in some sparring (which we all know is the most romantic couple activity).

Deacons of the Deep

Probably one of the worst options on the list, they’re all crusty, rotting men moaning around a biggass coffin. There are many technical questions. If I dated a deacon, would I have to date all of them? Can we go out on dates or are they obligated to stay next to the coffin at all times? Can I even date them at all?? Not that I would, because I have standards. The only pro to entering this relationship(s?) would be that I’d probably get one of their robes for free, but the cons are so numerous that I’d rather buy it myself.

Abyss Watchers

Let’s be real and honest even if it hurts. Would I date an Abyss Watcher? Yes. Maybe I’d even date two. However, would an Abyss Watcher date me? No, because they’re all in love with Artorias, and I can’t blame them for that.

Old Demon King

At first I considered dating the Old Demon King like a Russian Instagram model dates an old, rich American man: with a great deal of fake love but above all great patience in order to be the only person on the will. But then I thought about it more, and what does the Old Demon King have to offer, really? A big firework show that will leave him exhausted like the old creature he is, and maybe some pyromancies. Truly, it is not worth it, especially since I’d have to take residence where he lives, in a big old room filled with the corpses of his kin.

High Lord Wolnir

I’ve got nothing against Wolnir personally, but I have no interest in skeletons, nor in his army of skeleton children. As stated above I’m not ready to be a mother. I feel like if we got in an argument and he sighed, he would poison me with his awful breath and I would die a horrible death. Also, living on the brink of the Abyss doesn’t appeal to me that much. However I would like Wolnir to be a good friend I can talk jewelry with because let’s be honest, the man (skeleton?) is blinged the fuck out even in death and I respect that.

Yhorm the Giant

Yes, I would date Yhorm. He was nothing but a sweet, misunderstood giant who always tried to get people to trust him and he convinced me. I would put my life in his big hands. Think of the possibilities. Just like with Vordt he could carry you everywhere but in a less reckless way if you prefer proper manners. You’d never have to worry about not seeing anything at a concert. Also, may I add that waiting for you to show up while sitting on his biggass throne is an absolute power move? Yhorm is a Lord of Cinder, but above all, a Lord of this heart.

Pontiff Sulyvahn

Would I date him because of his appealing aesthetic? Yes. Would I date him for anything else? No. Sulyvahn is absolutely terrifying, completely unhinged in the most frightening way, which is that he doesn’t look bat shit crazy. I could be thinking that everything is going well in our relationship then suddenly he’d lock me in a dungeon then would feed me to his weird friend because I put a fork in the knife drawer. He could pretend to propose and give me a weird fucked up ring with his eye in it and the next thing I know I’d be running in a field on all fours. I don’t trust like that.

Aldritch, Devourer of Gods

I’m so sad about Aldritch because literally everything about him is completely unappealing, unacceptable, unnatural, unholy, abhorrent, but he has the delicate and beautiful face of Gwyndolin. While our lovely Gwyndolin looks gorgeous as ever it doesn’t make up for the fact that Aldritch devoured people and probably wouldn’t find love to be a good reason to not eat his partner. The only reason I can find to have a friendship (not even a romantic relationship) with him is if you really like experimenting with cooking and you really, really need someone to taste your inventions.

Dancer of the Boreal Valley

I feel attraction, which means that just like any other being who feels attraction, I would date the Dancer. She is beautiful, graceful, a bit feral, and would not hesitate to put a flaming knife to my throat, which is the description of my dream woman. Imagine walking the streets with her, trying to hold her hand while it dangles 3 feet above you and she insists on holding her sword, actually, so she might slay anyone who tries to approach you, which she communicates through icy breaths and murmurs. The date of a lifetime.

Oceiros, the Consumed King

Another awful choice on this list, Oceiros is RABID and also, as far as we know, still a married man. You really want to date a man that hasn’t even gone through his divorce but already looks like this? Me neither. I’m already not big on dragon fucking but the fact that he’s all viscous and has weird growths all over him is not helping. Also, he has children, and we know how I feel about that — although, given how he treats them, he probably won’t have kids very soon (too far?).

Ancient Wyvern

So I’ve stated that I’m not very big on dragon fucking. With that said, do I think the wyvern is sexy and beautiful? Absolutely so. You’re probably like « Blue you’re sending mixed signals, are you gonna date the lizard or not? » and to that I say, date? Perhaps not. I would however like to form a lifelong bond with this wonderful force of nature and fight by its side, live a long and fulfilling life travelling along with it, only to die at the same time atop the tallest mountain in the world, where our skeletons will be discovers hundreds of years in the future by brave explorers, who will confirm that the legendary songs that were written about us were in fact not just a myth.

Nameless King

You’ve just read what I said about the wyvern. I feel like the Nameless King really understands me and would respect me for that. We could bond over our love of dragons and other flying scaly beasts and perhaps share some chaste kisses while soaring the sky on our companions. It’s nice to date someone who loves pets as much as you. I feel like he would be a fun guy to hang around in general, maybe he’d let you braid his hair or try on his crown. He can arrange personalized fireworks shows for you with his lightning powers. I don’t think you’d ever be bored around him.

Dragonslayer Armor

Dating an empty suit of armor has never bothered me (see: ds2 Ruin Sentinels), however I have beef with the dragonslayer armor. Is it a beautiful armor? Perhaps a bit worn off, but the reply remains affirmative. However, it is controlled by Pilgrim Butterflies, which basically means I’m dating one to multiple of these things in the shape of an armor, and I’ve gotta confess that I’m not down for that.

Lorian Older Prince and Lothric Younger Prince

Here comes the delicate moment where we have to make a choice without offending anyone. I personally, speaking for myself, in my own opinion, would rather date Lorian. Reason: he is big, strong, and a bit rabid, which I’ve made very clear is my type. I don’t dislike Lothric, but I feel like we’d be better off as best friends who have a really snarky group chat where we shit talk the entire kingdom. That’s pretty good because if I even just slightly disliked Lothric I’m pretty sure Lorian would sense it and would not hesitate to murder me on sight.

Champion’s Gravetender and Champion Greatwolf

Well the full name is just a formality here, I’m not completely insane so I don’t want to date this rabid wolf. I feel like the Champion’s Gravetender is just a normal dude who’s a bit in over his head and it’s not his fault but he just seems a bit boring compared to all my other options. Instead of a date I think he’d be more of an awkward flirt I had when I was bored and then I came to my senses but didn’t know how to disengage, but in the end it worked out because he was more interested in his work anyway.

Sister Friede and Father Ariandel

Again a choice has to be made and I will have to be predictable and say I’d date Elfriede. Just like Dancer she’s what the woman of my dreams is made of. She’s graceful and could easily take my life and I think it’s awfully sexy of her to be like that. I think I’d be accepted into the family pretty easily, which is important since Father Ariandel cares about Friede so much. I’d go visit him sometimes, play chess with him, bring him his flail, normal interactions with your girlfriend’s dad.

Soul of Cinder

I’m gonna be a tiny bit freaky here and say I’d date the Soul of Cinder. Dating it is just like opening a Kinder Surprise egg, you never know what you’re gonna get (sorry Americans for excluding you here). That makes life exciting and doesn’t let routine stall your relationship. Every day you can wake up with the question « What weapon will my darling walk around with today? The flaming sword, or the sorcery staff? » and be surprised by the answer. Truly ideal, but I understand it’s not for the faint of heart.

Demon Prince

I’m gonna go with a maaaaaaybeeeee? leaning towards no. I mean yes, the Demon Prince is a weird fleshy flaming demon, and that may be a bit gross, but I’ve gotta admit I admire his style, the drama of it all. The care he puts into his entrance, the attitude in his moves. If we don’t date I’d at least want to be friends so he can teach me his ways.

Darkeater Midir

I have very intense and contradictory feelings towards Midir. In one hand, holy shit, absolutely epic dragon, the spirit of companionship is growing in me. On the other hand, this beast is RABID and pretending I could tame him is foolish, and pretentious. I guess in the end the answer remains that I don’t date dragons, I just want to adopt them as my extremely exotic pets.

Halflight, Spear of the Church

Yeah I’d date Halflight, I know it’s the easy answer but look at him. I mean shit he’s walking around like a little thotty with his shirt open and you mean to tell me I’m not supposed to wanna date him because he looks pretty much like a regular dude? My boy Halflight WANTS me to date him or else he would not show up with his tiddies out to a sword fight, which as an activity already has enough erotic implications on its own.

Slave Knight Gael

I’m gonna say it unashamedly and I’ll say it again: I would date Gael. He’s been nothing but helpful and when he tries to attack you it’s to help his little lady that he’s adopted as his niece. We love a chaotic parental figure. Maybe he’s a tad bit old and dirty but there’s nothing a good bath can’t fix and I’m sure he’d appreciate having someone taking care of him for once. Again, he’s got that slightly unhinged quality to him that makes him delightful. When I walk around with my partner I want us to instill both fear and fascination in people which we would be able to accomplish perfectly well.

Dark Souls 1: Remastered date list // Dark Souls 2: Scholar of the First Sin date list

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meimi-haneoka · 3 years

Note

While we see a comparison with SyaoSaku and Akiho/Kaito (They might need a ship name soon), there is also this interesting contrast. Even though SyaoSaku still needs to work on communication, they do have that great level of trust when they do interact. With Akiho/Kaito, we see them having casual conversation with little issue. But when things get serious or concerning, there is some level of dismissiveness and gaslighting from Kaito, much to Momo and all of our detriments.

Thank you very much for posing this question anon, as I think I haven’t said everything I wanted to say in my analysis post, and I will use this space to ramble a little bit more about “that side” of the parallelism in this last chapter...

(long rambling under the cut)

First thing first, they do already have a ship name! :D The japanese fandom has named them “YunaAki”. Why they chose “Yuna” over “Kaito” is not clear, it seems it sounded better. After all, we don’t know which is the given name and which is the last name. As it’s a fake name, it probably doesn’t matter.

Yes, I totally agree with you. I think, probably the whole meaning of the chapter was to show how different can be the outcome for two similar situations, if you keep your heart shut and don’t trust the person you’re supposed to care for.

As you said, Syaoran and Sakura still have some minor communication issues going on, but they’re working on them and they are solving the situation, this chapter was another proof of that. It’s incredible to think that most of the resistance actually comes from Sakura, but...

Syaoran has accepted and decided to be frank with Sakura, to the point of being even too blunt, sometimes. Sakura, instead, keeps sweeping her negative emotions under the carpet, but Syaoran is slowly pulling her out of that behavioral pattern.

What do we have on the other side, the YunaAki side?

We have, first of all, two battered souls who are trying to cope with their past, each in their own way.

One is doing her best to leave her past behind, with a positive attitude, and doesn’t let the occasional moments of discomfort to halt her progress. She might trip and fall because certain scars are simply too deep to heal in such a short time, but we see Akiho being stronger and stronger, everyday.

One...is basically just doing what Sakura does, sweeps everything under the carpet, the problem is that he doesn’t do that only with the negative emotions, he does that with everything. Even the emotions that are supposed to give him joy and happiness. He’s completely, impossibly shut in himself, and doesn’t let anyone in, not even the creature who is supposed to be his ally in his “quest”.

It’s very important to keep in consideration Akiho’s and Kaito’s pasts, when analyzing their behavior, because their pasts still have great influence on their mindsets. Akiho struggles to let go the “I’m good for nothing” mentality that her clan has engraved so deeply into her heart, while Kaito thinks he’s still that brooding, dull, aloof kid who used to walk down the hallways of the Association all alone, watched from a distance by all the other magicians.

In this chapter, those behavioral patterns came out completely in the sunlight.

But while Akiho took her own patterns and decided “I don’t want to be this way, I’ve already changed so much because of you and I want to help you in return”, activating a sort of “positive response”, Kaito saw her getting closer and insisted in barricading himself behind that thin wall that he’s built around his heart.

It’s not by chance that I wanted to make the parallel with the SyaoSaku situation more obvious with the use of the “knocking on the door” metaphor, since that’s really what I felt when I’ve read the chapter.

We have a boy and a girl in love with someone and seeing that loved one in pain. Both kids try to be of help because they can’t stand to see them bearing all the burden alone.

And that’s when trust comes into the picture.

I am saying trust, and not love, because I do think Kaito loves Akiho (and here I have to specify again that we don’t know what kind of love is, but at the very least he has affection for her).

While Sakura trusts Syaoran to the point of not losing faith in him even when he revealed to be the one who took the Sakura Cards, or even despite all the dreams with MCF Syaoran she’s having, Kaito doesn’t trust Akiho. He cannot trust her. He’s too afraid of what would entail to let Akiho closer than the safe distance they have right now.

There are many reasons for this.

One, the most obvious: he’s about to die. He is going to die and that, in his mind, is a certainty, because he needs to save her before it’s too late, and even if the time rewindings won’t kill him, probably the last taboo magic will.

There’s absolutely no point, in his head, to get closer to her.

Two, actually accepting her offer for help would mean that at some point he would have to explain why he’s so worn out, and all that’s behind it. With that, he would inflict on her a pain even greater than the one he’s living on his skin. He has carefully avoided to let her know *any* thing about the terrible spell that is at work on her, in order to give her a life as normal as possible, and he wouldn’t nullify that for anything in the world.

Three, he’s terribly afraid of human connections. To the point of turning himself blind to the beating and stirring of his heart. He’s still convinced that he doesn’t have a heart, just like when he was in the Association.

But Momo was clear: no matter how strong you are, or what kind of life you live, no one can ever stay the same, if they’re given the trigger to change. And Kaito has already had that, when he decided on that fateful day, “I’ll go”.

He just has to stop refusing to admit it.

It was painful to see him going in circles, in hope to avoid where Momo was getting at in chapter 51, and the saddest thing of it all is that it seems this is an automatic behavior, he seemed genuinely confused when Momo said “You missed something”. “Missed”, past tense.

Akiho is terribly scary to him, when she runs on her assertiveness and starts making questions. This was obviously not the first time and he knows that she’s damn observant when she wants. Everytime Kaito changed expression, everytime something was wrong with him, she always caught on.

Dammit, she loves him, what else is she supposed to do? She can’t turn a blind eye on him.

But this is all too scary for him, because she demands a connection he’s afraid of. Letting someone inside of you means to see your comfortable, perfect, reassuring bubble getting turned upside down, because in a relationship of any kind, you are two, not one. Each with their own expectations, behaviors, personalities. While he has already changed his lifestyle to adapt to one that would be healthy for Akiho, he isn’t definitely ready (or so he thinks) to change his heart. And that’s why, when Akiho mentions that she has changed parts of her thanks to him, he is definitely triggered and literally runs away, interrupting her attempt to tell him “I’m here for you. Let me in. Tell me what’s wrong”.

He doesn’t want to hear that she changed thanks to him, because that would force him to realize that he’s changed too, thanks to her. And what’s more scary than aknowledging that you’re not the same person anymore, that you already have a seat ready in your heart with her name on it?

His feelings are most apparent in the “stupidest” things, like going all the way to cook character bento only for her (that's definitely, definitely, not a butler’s duty), or let nonchalantly slip “because it’s you” without even realizing what that implies (and making Akiho blush furiously) (talking only manga side here, the anime had one huge display of what he feels and we all know which scene it is).

You can well understand why Momo feels so frustrated with him, when the situation is in plain sight and yet he turns a blind eye on it.

So gaslighting and dismissive, we were saying. That’s his defensive reaction because he actually feels like the one attacked, in that moment.

And when he realizes that lies don’t work, he just panics, and instead of elaborating a better lie, he totally cuts her short and runs away. He could’ve said “Thanks Akiho-san, but I’m fine, really”. But no.

That explains quite well why he was shaking, after that. I know CLAMP have skillfully thrown that symptom among his conditions worsening, as soon as he left Akiho’s room, so everyone thinks he was shaking because he’s in terrible shape, and maybe it’s partly true, but I don’t think he would’ve been surprised, if the trembling was caused by his health. He knows he’s dying. He doesn’t wonder why he has heart attacks, he knows what causes them.

Instead, with this, he’s so confused that he even slightly laughs, like he can’t believe what he’s actually feeling.

This is gonna be a rough journey, for Kaito (and for us), because the more he goes on and the more his time narrows down, the more he seems on the brink of insanity. He needs someone interrupting this slippery slope by force, someone who understands where he is coming from, and understands his biggest problem of turning away his eyes from his heart.

Y’all know who I am talking about, right? :D

#cardcaptor sakura #Card Captor Sakura #ccsakura #yunaaki #reply #yuna d. kaito #akiho shinomoto #clear card spoilers #ccs spoilers #chapter 52 #Anonymous

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babybluebex · 3 years

Text

all for you ch.1 [loki odinson x reader]

➽ pairing: loki odinson x fem!reader(y/n) ➽ word count: 1.8k ➽ summary: loki and you strike a deal with odin to save them both, and you have a few words with your new brother. ➽ warnings: arranged/forced marriage, general angst ➽ a/n: tbh thor is basically my brother irl so yall are kinda meeting my brother here lol

All thoughts of propriety had left me as I stormed into the throne room. Odin was Loki’s father, yes, and therefore my closest friend’s father, but he was still king and Allfather. He was my god and my enemy and, perhaps, my savior. “Odin,” I greeted him quickly. “Do you know what Loki has done?”

“Y/N, my dear girl,” Odin began. He was obviously flustered by my anger, an emotion that I had never shown to him before. “What’s the matter?”

“Your son--” I began. Loki entered the room, the doors banging with the force of him, and he interrupted me.

“Father, I have explanations--”

“For what?” I cried, turning to him. “You tricked me! What explanation could you possibly have?”

“Peace, both of you,” Odin said, rising from his throne. “Loki, I was under the impression that you were going to propose. You tricked her? In what way?”

“I’ll tell you,” I said. “He’ll never tell you the truth. God of tricks, god of lies… Loki found out that I was marrying a different man, and he disguised himself as my fiance! He took my Theoric’s place in the ceremony!” I turned to Loki to see practically no emotion in his eyes. It angered me, how calm he was. I hated him. I had gone from love and adoration to hate and fury in a matter of moments.

Before I knew it, my hand had lashed out, and I had slapped Loki across his cheek. “You say you love me, and you trick me!” I cried. “What sort of love is born of deceit?”

The guards at the helm of the throne room stepped forward at my attack on the prince, and Odin was between us in a flash. “Loki,” Odin began. The Allfather was imposing in his gold outfit and braided grey hair, but I could tell that Loki’s ego was overshadowing his father’s. “Did you do this?”

Loki took a deep breath. “I did,” he admitted. “And I regret absolutely nothing. I told you, you wretch, I told you that you would regret this--”

“You are insane if you think that I’m at fault for this!” I exclaimed. “Loki, I-I trusted you! You were my brother--”

“And now I’m your husband,” Loki spat. “Congratulations.”

“Allfather, I beg of you,” I said. “Please, tell me there’s a way to reverse this. There has to be, please.”

Odin looked at me, his jaw tightening as he thought. “I’m sure there is, dear Y/N,” he said. “If there isn’t, I’ll make a way. The royal council meets in a weeks’ time. I’ll propose an annulment then; and a punishment.”

“Father, a punishment is far too much,” Loki began. “Being married to her is enough--”

“Loki, do you not understand what you’ve done?” Odin growled, stepping to be chest-to-chest with his son. “You are married now. By the laws of Asgard, you are now officially in line for the throne. Not only did you trick Y/N, but you have done something that there might not be a way to reverse. The people will not care too kindly for a king who tricked his queen. You have made an enemy of your wife, your brother, your people, and me. I should banish you.”

“Why won’t you?” Loki asked.

Odin sighed. “If I banish you, then I must banish Y/N as well,” he said, and my breath caught in my throat. “She’s done nothing wrong and does not deserve such a punishment. We don’t want Asgard to fall into revolt at your actions, however, so we must keep the reality of this secret.”

“You surely are joking,” I interjected. “What of Theoric? My real fiance?”

“You don’t need to worry about him,” Loki told me plainly.

The warmth of anger filled my chest again. “Why?” I asked. “What have you done with him?” Loki shrugged, and the urge to slap him again bubbled up. “Answer me, you fuck!”

“I did what I had to,” Loki told me. “I killed him.”

A sob broke my chest. I didn’t quite love Theoric or care for him too deeply, but the thought that Loki had murdered him made my stomach broil. “I…” I began as my tears rolled down my cheeks. “I never want to see you again.”

“That’s too bad, my darling,” Loki said, and he stepped toward me. I took a step back and tripped on my dress, and Loki reached out to steady me. “We’re married now. You have no choice but to see me, and to love me. Or to pretend to, at least.”

I tried to steady my breathing and tear myself out of Loki’s grip, but a thousand years of comfort at his hand made me give in and press my head under his chin. “I hate you,” I sobbed, taking fistfuls of his clothes.

“I know.”

Keeping the secret from the people of Asgard was one thing. Keeping it from the family was something else. We had no worries of my mother or the priestess revealing our secret, so Odin made me and Loki swear to not tell Frigga, Thor, or Jane. I was in such deep disbelief of the entire situation that I agreed without so much as a second thought. The less people who knew, the easier it was to keep it contained.

The palace library was often a place of comfort for me as I grew up, and I found myself sitting in my normal place at the window. The sky was pink and orange, the gold city glittering in the sunset, and I tried to imagine what I would be doing had Loki not tricked me. I would be making a home with Theoric, no doubt. I would not be a princess or prospective queen, and I definitely would not be as conflicted as I was. I was angry, so much more than I ever thought was possible, but there was a small part of me that was relieved that I was married to Loki. Marrying the prince had privileges that even I couldn’t deny. I would always have a place to live and a family behind me. That was more than a lot could ask for.

“Ah, sister!” Came Thor’s booming voice, and I swore that I could have heard his thunder in the ceiling. “I figured that you would be here.”

As much as Loki was my brother, Thor was as well. He had called me sister for as long as I could remember, and the normalcy comforted me. “Am I that predictable?” I asked with a chuckle.

“You have always been one to study,” Thor said. He sat down next to me on the cushioned bench, knowing that I would allow it, and he tilted his head curiously. “But you are without a book. Is something wrong?”

I swallowed thickly and shook my head. “No,” I said. “In fact, everything is quite right. You see… Loki and I were married earlier today.”

Thor laughed. “I figured it was but a matter of time,” he said. “Congratulations. And where would your husband be, eh?”

I tried not to let the title faze me. That was my life now. At least, until Odin was able to annul the marriage. And who was to say that the royal council would even agree to that? “With the Allfather,” I answered. “I asked for a moment alone.”

“Is something the matter?” Thor asked.

“No,” I said quickly. “I only wished to look at the sunset one last time.”

“One last time before…?” Thor asked.

“My new life,” I said. “When I wake up in the morning, I’ll be renewed. A princess, someone that has worth.”

“You’ve always had worth, sister,” Thor told me. “To me, and to Loki, and to Father and Mother.”

“More worth, I meant,” I amended quickly. “Did you… When you and Jane were married, did you feel any different than before?”

Thor frowned and shook his head. “Are you having regrets?”

I drew my knees to my chest. “Not regrets, exactly,” I began. “Anxiety, I think. Just… On the brink of a new life. I think it’s only normal for me to be a bit scared.”

“Of course,” Thor nodded. “If it helps at all, I think you’ll be fantastic as a princess. And, perhaps, one day, as queen. Loki would not have married you if he didn’t believe in your abilities.”

“Did he ever tell you that he loved me?” I asked. “I never knew until he proposed. Am I just blind?”

“He told me once,” Thor said. “A long time ago. But I thought it was a fleeting thing. But now… I’m so very happy for you and my brother. And, please remember that Jane and I are here if you need support of any kind.”

“Thank you, Thor,” I said softly. I chewed on my tongue, and I finally reached out and wound my arms around him. Thor was a great hugger, and he wasted no time in embracing me tightly. I rested my cheek on his shoulder and clenched my jaw, trying not to cry. I wanted to tell him. I wanted him to know what Loki had done to me and what I was being forced into. But, alas, I had made a promise to my husband’s father.

“Brother!” Loki said from the doors to the library, and Thor detached himself from me.

“Congratulations!” Thor exclaimed, standing up, and he strided across the room to hug Loki. “I’m excited for the both of you!”

“Thank you,” Loki said. He resisted Thor’s hug, but that was normal. “Your support means the world.” Thor unwound himself from around his younger brother, and Loki came to me. I stood up, and Loki put his arms around my waist. Whether it was fake adoration or not, I couldn’t tell, but Loki looked at me with love in his eyes. A thought occurred to me; Loki loved me, but was that why he married me? Or was it purely to spite me for keeping the truth of my engagement from him? I wasn’t sure which option I preferred more.

“Truly, brother,” I said to Thor. “We were concerned that the family wouldn’t approve.”

“Why wouldn’t they?” Thor scoffed. “You two are a match made in the halls of Valhalla.”

“As close as Lo and I are,” I started. “I am still a commoner. It’s unusual for royalty to marry common people.”

“You were a commoner, my love,” Loki said softly, and he pushed a bit of my hair behind my ear. “That is all behind you now. I am here for you, for the rest of time.”

I clenched my teeth together, but smiled to keep up appearances. “And I could ask for nothing else,” I said, and I pressed closer to Loki. After a moment, I rose to kiss his cheek, and I spotted the pink flush that infiltrated his face. I had nearly forgotten his confession, and I had to remind myself that there was a hint of real adoration there. But his ultimate motives for tricking me were still unknown. “Only for your love, my darling prince.”

#loki odinson #loki laufeyson #loki #loki odinson x reader #loki odinson x y/n #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x y/n #loki x reader #loki odinson fanfiction #loki laufeyson fanfiction #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston x y/n #tom hiddleston fanfiction #loki odinson angst #loki laufeyson angst #tom hiddleston angst #marvel fanfiction #angst

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silverdecepticon93 · 4 years

Text

The Addams Family Ball

Request by anon: “Hi, Im new to your blog an I've gone through all of you're stories and I am OBSESSED with Klarion x Addams!reader. Could you maybe write a part 2 for it? Klarion DESERVES an Addams s/o”

A/N: Okay, I’ve had a lot more requests to make a pt.2 than just this one. The thing is I was hesitant to make sequel but everyone wanted so I hope you all enjoy!

After the first visit to your childhood home, Klarion was so excited to head back again, so when you got an invitation for the Annual Addams family ball, it was very much certain you two were going. He didn’t dress up, after all, he didn’t really need to, but he simply adored the outfit you were wearing.

A black mermaid-style dress that you looked absolutely lovely in, with long sleeves that had red accents to them much like Klarion’s own sleeves. Your feet were covered by your dress and you walked so elegantly that you looked as though you were floating, or maybe you were, Klarion had a hard time telling the difference.

Anyways, you two were currently walking around the manor filled to the brim with people. Klarion was surprised yet amazed by your numerous relatives, all of them looking like they crawled out of a child’s bed or even from a nightmare, yet, they still seemed to be quite friendly and civil. Albeit a little violent, as well.

“Look out, dear.” You warned as you pulled him down by his sleeve, ducking down as an axe flew past your heads and nearly scaring the daylights out of Teekl.

Klarion tried to see who threw it but you grabbed his wrist and led him away, excitedly running despite the dress you were wearing.

“Mother, Father!” You shouted.

Gomez and Morticia were in mid-conversation with someone before they heard you call out for them, they turned around with bright smiles on their faces before they opened their arms out for a hug.

“Hello, my dreary little girl!” Morticia greeted. Gomez simply smiled at your boyfriend, “Good to see you again, Klarion! Good to see (Y/n) hasn’t driven you to the brink of insanity, yet!”

“I was already insane,” Klario assured before grabbing your hand and pulling you close to him, wrapping his arms around your waist, “and (Y/n) only makes it worse.~” You blushed but giggled happily, meanwhile, Teekl had long since jumped off Klarion’s shoulders and stood close to you and him, she didn’t exactly care for your last visit with your family (and that was just with four of them) so she wasn’t exactly having the time of her life right now.

“Oh! Lookee here!” An old lady squealed happily, grabbing Teekl from behind.

The orange tabby hissed and yowled, gaining both you and Klarion’s attention. You both turned to see a short stout elderly woman with unruly snow-white hair, she appeared to be wearing rags and her teeth were colored a dark brown and black.

“Mr. Tiggins! You’ve come back from the dead again!” The woman beamed as she hugged the cat close.

Teekl yowled and snarled for help, only to scratch the white-haired woman angrily, causing the old lady to drop her. Before she could land on the floor, Klarion quickly used his magic to teleport the cat safely in his arms. The old woman looked at the scratch bitterly before rummaging in her pocket, taking out a vial that held a disgusting swampy-green liquid and drank it. Klarion was surprised to see that the scratch had healed.

“Your Grandmother’s a witch?” Klarion asked, looking at you. You smiled happily and nodded before hearing Teekl shriek again as your grandmother started to chase her around, calling her ‘Mr. Tiggins’ and such.

“Grandmama, that’s not Mr. Tiggins,” You said as you walked over to her, “we had to mummify the poor creature because he kept getting run over, remember?”

Teekl quickly climbed and draped herself over her master’s shoulders, mewling fearfully at what she was hearing and making Klarion roll his eyes.

“Relax, nothing’s bad’s going to happen.” Klarion assured.

Just as he said that, there was a loud crash sound that sounded like it came from the garden. Everyone jumped before and looked at the area where the crash sounded, only to shrug it off and go back to socializing or so. Your parents and grandmother, however, curiously went to investigate it.

Klarion followed after, as well, his curiosity getting the best of him. You also followed him, interlocking your fingers with his, you lead him into the greenhouse of the manor to see that it had been crashed through by a giant black hearse, Klarion quickly holding his arm out so you didn’t walk over the broken glass.

“Good job, Kids!” A man beamed as he got out of the car, “Although, next time, I say we let Wednesday drive.”

You smiled happily at the sight of the bald-pale man and walked over to him, Klarion was worried when you walked over the broken glass, but you didn’t seem to be affected in the least.

“Uncle Fester! What an absolutely unpleasant surprise!” You beamed happily as you hugged him. He hugged back before stepping back to look at you, “Look at you! You’re just getting taller and taller! I might have to chop off your legs to get you to stop growing.”

You chuckled happily before facing Klarion, “Uncle Fester, this is my amour sombre, Klarion Bleak.”

“He certainly looks like it,” Uncle Fester joked before walking over to meet your boyfriend, “Nice to meet you, Klarion, the name’s Fester Addams, but you can call me Uncle Fester.”

“Nice to meet you-” Suddenly your grandmama interject, “(Y/n) has a boyfriend? Where?”

“Grandmama, he’s standing right next to you.” You said softly.

Klarion tilted his head in confusion when your grandmama looked over at him before squinting and widening her eyes happily. Then she took out a burnt skull from her pocket and started to chant in a forieng language while shaking the burnt skull around him.

“Aw, (Y/n), I think she’s trying to curse me,” Klarion smiled happily as he looked at you, “isn’t that just cute?”

Then he flicked his wrist towards your grandmama, her white hair now becoming white snakes and slithering around her head. She didn’t seem to mind it in the least, actually, she looked over at you with a content smile on her face.

“I approve.” She finally said before walking off, only to yip in pain when one snake nipped at her scalp.

You rolled your eyes before clinging onto Klarion’s arm, “Now you’ve met the rest of my family! How about we head inside and eat?”

“Oh, I am kinda hungry.” Klarion agreed as he walked back into the building with you.

Morticia and Gomez smiled tenderly as they watched you and Klarion walk back into the house, your head rested on his shoulder as he lovingly looked down at you with his onyx eyes.

“Aren’t they just sweet, Cara mia?” Gomez asked, resting his head on his wife’s head.

“Indeed they are, Mon Cher,” Morticia agreed before noticing something off, “but where in the world has that lovely orange cat gone off too?”

Suddenly, there was a loud screech that made you and Klarion pause in your steps, looking over your shoulder to see Teekl being chased by Wednesday and Pugsley who were armed with matching machetes. Klarion quickly scooped up his cat in his arms, snapping his fingers to make the machetes go away.

“You know, children shouldn’t play with sharp objects.” Klarion hummed tauntingly, leaning down towards Wednesday. Your younger sister, ever-so stoic, only narrowed her gaze towards Klarion, “and villains shouldn’t be easy to beat but here we are.”

Klarion was taken aback before his eyes became beady and skin became a faint pale blue, “You know, I’m really getting sick of you and I hardly even remember your name. “

“Klarion-dear, please stop. You’re hurting Wednesday’s feelings.” You sighed heavily as you led him away from your dark-haired sister. Klarion followed you but grumbled under his breath, “She’d have to have feelings to begin with for me to hurt them.”

When you two entered the main room where everyone was gathered, music was already playing and people were already dancing. Klarion looked over at them before smiling at you.

“Shall we?” He asked. You paused before recognizing the tune of the song and smiled brightly at him, “Of course!”

You unhooked your arm with his as you held his hand, allowing him to lead you into the dance floor. Teekl jumped off her master’s shoulders and crept around you two as you started to dance.

You smiled dreamily into Klarion’s onyx eyes before resting your head on his chest, one hand was on his shoulder while the other was holding his own hand, and you felt your heart flutter as his free arm sneaked around your waist, the two of you now waltzing around the room.

“You’re simply perfect for me.” Klarion hummed, spinning you around and pulling you close to him once more.

“I couldn’t agree more, My love.” You beamed as you puckered your lips up to kiss him.

“Ew.” Wednesday said. Pugsly only shivered, “Remind me never to fall in love.”

“Wanna watch Grandmama fend off her snakes?” Wednesday asked her brother.

Pugsly nodded happily, not wanting to see anymore of his older sister being lovey-dovey with her boyfriend.

#Klarion x Addams! Reader #Klarion Bleak x reader #Klarion Bleak x you #Klarion The Witch Boy x reader #Klarion The Witch Boy x you #Klarion x reader #Klarion x you #young justice x reader #young justice x you #yj x reader #yj x you #Dc x reader #Dc x you

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kisekinodrabbles · 3 years

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helloo! i'd like to request something for the prompt game please :D kasamatsu + band!au + strangers to lovers + dialogue number 14 if that's okay? thanks, sam! and welcome back~

ofc!!! i tried to keep it shorter but im a bit rusty w my kasamatsu hehe hope u enjoy! wc: 2.3k

Kasamatsu admits that balancing his band and college work isn’t exactly an easy task. Between late evenings spent at gigs and all nights at the library, he is on the brink of his sanity, standing right at the tipping point. He yawns as he enters his nine am mandatory calculus class, another mistake made in his overconfidence that he would somehow be able to get his shit together.

You, on the other hand, are a closeted fan of his band, sitting three rows behind him in class. Every Tuesday and Thursday, you watch him drag his feet in and his hand lifting to his mouth in a yawn. Quickly, you duck behind your book as if Kasamatsu would ever give you the time of day. The brunette is well-known on campus with his successful group and good looks, not to mention he also dabbles a little in basketball while also maintaining a decent grade point average across all his classes. Triple threat, they call him.

When you first came into class and saw him there, shocked is an understatement. You’ve been following his band his high school from across the country. To see him in the flesh, so real and so human with his tired eyes, it almost feels like a dream. One you hope nobody would ever pinch you awake from. Thus, you made it your goal to be there before him every morning, which is a feat in itself. Kasamatsu may be grinding through the night and falling asleep in lectures, but he’ll be damned if he shows up late to class.

Throughout several weeks, you’ve seen girls come up to him left and right, shot down almost immediately by his intention to focus on the professor’s words. He lets them down easy and makes it clear that he pays thousands of dollars to study, not play IRL Tinder. This man gets sexier everyday.

You take your time packing your things when class is over, mainly because you’re too distracted watching Kasamatsu do the same. He is blind, or chooses to ignore, the whispers and shy glances thrown his way. Perhaps this is why you haven’t approached him yourself. You’re just one of his many admirers, a stroke in the massive painting of his life. Sighing, you pick up your pitiful self and make your way to the dining hall where you’re supposed to meet your friend for breakfast.

When the two of you settle on a table, you begin your weekly rambling about how beautiful Kasamatsu looks in the morning. Moriyama, being the good friend that he is, nods and listens intently.

Moriyama is an intriguing character. The two of you met because he had tried a line on you. In your perpetual state of flustered embarrassment, you had stupidly confessed to him: “Sorry, my heart belongs to Kasamatsu Yukio.”

In another twist of fate, he revealed that he had actually gone to high school with the guy and knew him pretty well.

“You know I can introduce you to him, right? No need for all this pining and drooling from three feet away.”

“It’s not the same,” you argue, “he’s practically a living legend on campus. I’m too intimidated to even breathe in the same air as him.” Your obsession has perhaps taken you too far, but if you expect to continue being his fan, the last thing you want is to scare him away.

“You’re so overdramatic,” Moriyama rolls his eyes. Coming from him, this sentence means a lot.

“What? It’s not my fault Kasamatsu’s so hot. He could bang me so hard backstage then pretend I don’t exist and I would still pay to watch his next show,” you groan, spooning yogurt into your mouth.

In that moment, several things happen. Moriyama’s eyes widen and fly behind you. Footsteps sounding at that same spot suddenly cease completely. You, realizing what possibly just happened, feel the heat flare up your cheeks.

Kasamatsu, in his sleep deprived state and probably completely delirious, had stopped in his tracks. His head whipped around to the source of the comment, finding Moriyama sitting with someone who looks distinctly familiar, but he can’t quite put his finger on it.

“Kasamatsu—”

Before Moriyama can even finish his sentence, Kasamatsu is already blurting out. “Okay, maybe I’m crazy but did I just hear you say that out loud?”

You want to crawl into your hole six feet underground and never see the light of day again. Ducking your head, you don’t even want to chance a glance up. The utter mortification is chewing away at your bones and you wish you could just evaporate into thin air.

Moriyama quickly interjects with a quick laugh, “Hear what? Also how have you been, man? I haven’t seen you in forever. Come join us for breakfast.”

Kasamatsu’s brows pucker. Maybe he really is going insane. And horny. Which is a very bad combination. Nevertheless, he slides into the empty seat next to Moriyama. He stares at you for a few seconds, squinting, before snapping his fingers. “Oh, I remember now. You’re in my calculus class.”

He knows you? “How do you know me?” you squeak, cursing your fangirl self for losing your voice. You never speak up in class, always choosing to come up to your professor for questions at the end of lecture. You’re quiet and tucked away behind him, so you never expected him to recognize you.

The smile he sends you is blinding. Even with shadows under his eyes, he still looks gorgeous. “You’re always first to arrive and last to leave. Figured you’re a hard worker in class and probably acing it.”

Your mouth dries. Kasamatsu noticed you. He actually noticed you. “Oh, um, I’m okay. I’m okay in class, I mean.”

“The question you should be asking is her name, Kasamatsu,” Moriyama scolds, smacking his back.

Kasamatsu pinks sheepishly. “Sorry, yeah. I’m Kasamatsu Yukio, by the way.”

Idiotically, you blurt out “I know” before your name. When you finally introduce yourself, you also clarify, “I’m a huge fan of Blue Devils. I mean, I’ve been following you guys since like high school. Absolutely love your music.”

The man actually reddens even further, but still he beams proudly. “Thank you! That’s crazy. Have you been to our shows?”

Almost all of them. “A couple, yeah.”

“We have one tonight in an actual venue. Are you coming?”

“Ah, it was sold out before I could get a ticket, actually.”

Kasamatsu blinks, “Oh, you’re more than welcome to come. I can get you a pass. Both of you—if Moriyama’s interested.”

“That would be amazing!” You grin, “Is there anything I can get you in return? I don’t want to just accept a gift from you for free.”

“Well, if you are good at calc, I wouldn’t mind some extra tutoring,” he suggests with a teasing grin.

Moriyama rolls his eyes, “Just ask her out instead of using tutoring as an excuse.” The two of you sputter, face colored a dark shade of red. You’ll kick his ass when you get the chance.

—

That one mistake turned out to be the greatest opportunity of your life. In addition to attending his show that night and meeting all of his bandmates, each one more good looking up close than then other, you manage to have weekly study sessions (you’re holding off on calling it dates) with Kasamatsu. The two of you take turns booking rooms at the library to cram, which mainly consists of you reexplaining concepts to the man. Although he isn’t a bad student, he’s also still struggling a bit to keep up.

“Hey” is what you hear before you feel a warm surface press against your cheek. You look up to find Kasamatsu with a steaming cup in hand. Gratefully accepting it, you catch a whiff of freshly brewed tea. You take a sip and smile. Black tea, no sugar. “Just the way I like it.”

“Noticed you never add anything to your tea,” Kasamatsu says almost proudly.

You raise the cup to him in thanks. Both of you go through your usual routine—you focusing on reviewing material for next week while Kasamatsu pores over his notes from this week, occasionally poking you to ask questions.

Honestly, a big part of you still wonders if this is all a dream. This guy you’ve been crushing on for years is sitting in the flesh right across from you. You peek at him from time to time, watching the way he frowns at his book. His blue, almost grey, eyes shine underneath the flickering lights. Even the way his lips curl unhappily is cute.

When he catches you staring, you quickly drop your gaze back to your laptop, missing the way he smiles quietly.

“Will you come to our show this weekend?” He asks as the two of you pack up.

“Ah, I have a shift at my part-time job.”

He looks surprised, “That late?”

You shrug, “Food never sleeps, I guess. It’s at the burger diner by campus.”

“Oh, are you guys open late?”

“Close at one.”

He nods, “Maybe I’ll see you there after then. The guys usually get really hungry after a gig so we can drive some business your way. I’ll make sure they tip well too.”

Your heart warms at the thought. It’s a thoughtful gesture but you’re even more thrilled at the prospect of seeing him. “Sounds good.”

True to his word, Kasamatsu brings the guys to your workplace at midnight after their show ended. They order quite a spread, practically everything on the menu. Kasamatsu goes as far as to help you carry orders to their table. You shoot him an appreciative smile.

Over the time your friendship has bloomed, Kasamatsu has been nothing but a gentleman. He walks you home to your dorm if you’re studying late into the night. He meets you in class with a muffin or a cookie from his early Starbucks runs. Surprisingly, he begins placing himself next to you each session. “This is better anyway,” he mutters. “Two birds, one stone.”

His vague words had you tilting your head in question.

“I don’t have random people coming up to me to sit with me and, well, I get to enjoy your company.” It’s a nice thought—him enjoying your company, that is. He had blushed a little when he realized what you said, but chose to direct his attention to the slides pulled up before him, missing the way you hide your smile behind your sleeve.

Now, you hear the rowdy boys chattering on as they devour their meal as if it’s their last. They speak through mouthfuls of burgers and fries, but you find the sight endearing, mainly because you’ve never seen Kasamatsu so relaxed. It’s quite refreshing really. Your attention is piqued when you hear one of them ask: “So doing it tonight huh?”

Kasamatsu retorts with a “shut the fuck up” and flings a fry his way. The way the other guy wiggles his brows suggestively has you freezing. What if he was meeting up with someone tonight? What if he was going to do the deed?

Somewhere in the distance, you hear the faint cracking of your heart. Of course, Kasamatsu is popular. It’s no surprise he’s got his nights covered as well. You sigh dejectedly, feeling the hope inside you crumble into dust. The rest of your shift goes by rather uneventfully, but you try to avoid going to their table too much, lest you hear more details about Kasamatsu’s planned tryst. The man himself steals glances your way, wondering if you’ll be checking on them anytime soon.

“Your check,” you smile as you set the bill on the table, “I got the owner to give you a discount since you guys ordered a good amount.”

All of their eyes seem to sparkle as they thank you in unison, their synchrony almost puzzling. As you move to pick up the bill and change, Kasamatsu catches your hand before you move away. “What time does your shift end?”

“Half an hour. Why?”

The other guys are already packing up their things and giving you little waves as they exit the restaurant, leaving the two of you alone. “I’ll walk you home, it’s late,” he murmurs, fingers still wrapped around your wrist.

“Oh, you don’t have to! I usually take the bus back anyway so it’s no big deal.” You want to confirm whether he had plans that night anyway. You’d hate to be in the way of that.

He shakes his head, “I insist. Also, um, are you doing anything tomorrow?”

“Catching up on studying most likely.”

“Oh,” he pauses, “if you have time tomorrow night, do you want to catch a movie with me? Maybe dinner after?”

You blink at him in surprise. Now that you’re looking at him properly, you notice that his cheeks are several shades darker than the red neon glow of the diner sign. He’s shifting on his feet and his other hand finds purchase on the strap of his bag, fidgeting with the material. “Um, like a date?”

“Y-yeah,” he stutters slightly, his throat moving as he swallows. “Sorry, I probably should’ve made that clear,” he coughs, “b-but if you don’t want it to be the we can also go as friends.” Perhaps you’ve tortured the boy long enough but you can’t help but relish in his awkward chuckle as his hand lifts to rub the back of his neck nervously.

Biting back a huge grin, you nod. “It’s a date.”

Kasamatsu’s eyes light up and a pleased grin spread across his face. “It’s a date.”

The hollering outside the building has the two of you whipping to face the window where his bandmates have their faces pressed up against the surface, laughing and smiling to congratulate and embarrass their friend. Kasamatsu flushes, “I’ll see you later to pick you up.”

You nod but he’s already out the door, leaping to kick his friends away. “You stupid idiots!”

Laughing, you watch as the group makes kissy faces at Kasamatsu all the while the man fruitlessly attempts to shut them up. He really is cute.

#kuroko no basket #knb #kuroko no basuke #kasamatsu yukio #kasamatsu #knb drabbles #miffythoughts

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