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mochie85 · 6 days

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House of Cards

These Wicked Games Collections | Complete Masterlist

Summary: You and Loki finally confront each other about your feelings and what went wrong. Suggested Song: "Fantasy" by The Driver Era Word Count: 2.9K Pairing: Loki x Female Reader Warnings: Smut. Dominating/Controlling Loki, Angry sex, rough sex.

Loki’s room was dark and humid. Thick waves of moisture rolled to you from his en suite, bringing with it the scent of his soap and aftershave. He must have taken a shower moments before movie night, you mused to yourself.

As the latch on his door clicked closed, the fireplace roared to life startling you. The heat from the fire only made his scent grow deep and heady. Warm yellow light canvased the room. You followed the flicker of the flames as your eyes took in Loki’s private chambers.

There you were…alone in his room. His sanctuary. A rare opportunity to sneak around and find out more about the intimidating god of mischief. Nothing had changed since that fateful night when you challenged him to Blackjack. That following morning, you were too hurt and busy trying to get out of the mortifying situation you walked yourself into to appreciate anything else.

His desk sat in the middle of the room, facing his bed. A house of cards was meticulously crafted on top— an elaborate pyramid of angles and shapes. Some cards, magically teetering on their corners. You had forgotten your deck that night, in a hurry to leave and lick your wounds from Loki’s casual opinion of your relationship with each other.

You reached out to take one— a discarded card lying on the bottom layer. You focused on the filigree and the cherub on the back cover, greeting you back.

“I thought I told you to wait for me on my bed?” His deep voice froze your movements, squeezing the air from your lungs. You turned quickly to find Loki, already closing the final steps to you.

“Loki, I-” He didn’t let you finish as he seized your lips and invaded your senses once again. His fingers laced themselves in your hair. His other hand pulled your shirt off from behind, popping your buttons, and exposing your breasts that were already spilling over your bra from his groping earlier.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, hoping to melt with him. You needed him closer. You needed his every being to get reacquainted with you. God, it's been so long.

His kiss was never-ending. He didn’t let you catch your breath, stealing your mouth every time you moved to inhale. His lips were so ravenous and demanding that it almost hurt. “…Loki…” you whined.

At long last, his fingers pulled your hair and brought your face up to meet his eyes. “You never do as you’re told, do you, darling? You never listen. Always worried about letting people inside.” His fist in your hair got tighter. His breath was hot and sweet; trying to hold back an emotion you had yet to work out. “Is that why you perfected your poker face? To hide the lies underneath?”

“What lies?!” you asked insulted and slightly afraid. “You lied to me! You used me just to play some game! Toying with me! Just entertainment for the night!” You tried to push him back, but his body was hard and unyielding. You pounded on his chest, trying to get away. But he trapped you in his arms and he wouldn’t let you go.

“You don’t listen! I have already told you, and yet you still pay no heed to my words! Do you even know how the last two weeks have been for me?” he said with a cold glare. “Torture! The moment you walked out of my bed, I started doubting myself. I started doubting you! I never thought you of all people would play me for a game like you do with your cards and tricks.”

He was furious! You had no idea how this would go, where Loki was going with his discourse. You knew Loki would never hurt you intentionally, but the look in his eyes was undoubtedly anger and pain. Not knowing terrified you and it also sent a thrill down your spine.

You had hurt him. You can see that now. He was affected as much as you were that night. You could see it in the unshed glimmer in his eyes. “You do care about me,” you realized.

“And what made you think I didn’t?” he demanded. His hold on you tightened. To be in his arms and to know that he was holding back so much of his godly strength. It hurt to almost breathe in his presence. But that was nothing compared to the guilt you felt inside. It hurt to know that you had assumed the worst of him and failed to communicate what you wanted. That you had missed out on two glorious weeks of being with him.

“You said you liked playing games. The way everything unfolded…I- I didn’t know what to think. I had no idea you even looked at me that way! And in mere hours I was splayed like a toy for you in your bed, Loki! What was I supposed to think?! How was I to know that I wasn’t just another conquest for you? That your confession was true?” you yelled back at him.

“Does this feel untrue to you!” he bucked his hips to yours, pushing you against his desk. You let out a carnal moan as you felt the length of him rub against your awaiting clit- throbbing to feel more of him, to be closer to him. The pyramid shook slightly behind you but remained standing. “Perhaps, you need a little reminder…” he growled as he kissed your lips boldly.

Blurring colors started to form and solidify in your head. Memories took shape as if they were tangible moving pictures.

~Loki growled. His fervor and desire ruling all rational thought. “I love that you’re intelligent,” he said as he flattened out his tongue and lapped the juices flowing from your cunt. “…Loki…” “I love how clever you are.” He said giving your sensitive clit a soft kiss. “I love how you’re willing to play my games.” He laughed as he kissed his way up your stomach. He knelt up on the bed, towering over your lustful figure beneath him. His eyes were wild taking in your heavy breathing, your glowing skin, and how utterly besotted you were when you looked at him. Your eyes were hooded and pleading, missing his tongue. Your mouth was open, ready to beg him to continue. “And by the Norns, you look absolutely sinful laying on my bed the way you are now.” He lined his hard cock at your entrance and slammed his way inside your tight folds.~

You felt him thrust towards your aching cunt, as if he was reliving the memory himself. The heavy force of his illusion pushed you back into reality. The house of cards gave way and fell behind you in one fell swoosh.

“You love me,” you whispered to yourself. Tears brimmed your lids as you looked at the truth in his eyes. The realization was heavy and thick; along with the guilt of invalidating his feelings.

Loki closed his eyes as he leaned in to rest his head on yours. He took a deep breath, relieved you had finally understood what he was trying to convey. Your fingers brushed through his silken hair, pulling him closer. Your lips apologized for you as you assailed his beautiful face with kisses. Softly, one after another. His fervid cheeks. His troubled eyes. His sharp chin. He felt each kiss as a prayer of penance asking for his forgiveness.

Your velvet lips turned into passionate kisses the more you held him. Loki returned your fervor with as much desire, if not more. How long has he waited for this? Dreamt of this? Wondering if he’d ever get the chance to kiss you again like this.

He had already granted you his pardon- earlier tonight when you had confessed that you imagined kissing him instead of Rogers. Perhaps even earlier than that, when you sat down on his lap and acknowledged his presence, finally, after weeks of disaffection. You had his forgiveness, but not his mercy.

“Loki, I need you. Please,” you begged. You started to unbutton his shirt, your fingernails nicking and scratching at his creamy skin in haste. “Make love to me,” you whined, wanting to compensate for lost time.

He licked his lips and savored your words. “Oh no, pet,” he chuckled darkly. “Only good girls get made love to...” Loki pushed your shoulders down, laying you on his desk. Your eyes widened in shock as your hair flowed around you, weaving with the cards of the fallen castle. He pulled your legs forward, bringing your hips flushed with his hard cock. “…Bad girls get fucked!”

You took a sharp intake of air as his words rattled your nerves. You heard the zip of his pants as his hands held you down on his desk. He nudged the wet gusset of your panties aside and guided the tip of his cock at your entrance. You moaned shamelessly when you felt him inside you for the first time in weeks.

He let out a shaky breath as he dragged himself up and down through your wet lips. Slowly teasing you, making you squirm with need. “…please…” you said so quietly you thought it was in your head. “…please, Loki…”

He gave into your cries. Into your begging; and thrust quickly inside you. You let out a vulgar moan at the sheer length of him filling you completely. Your knees squeezed around his hips as you tried to slow his assault. Your nails dug into the soft wood of his desk trying to hold on. “Stop resisting, my love. I thought this was what you wanted?” he grunted.

Your hands gripped his wrist that was holding down your shoulder. He gathered your skirt around your waist and used it as leverage to thrust deeper into you. “Just a little bit deeper…fuck…When I’m…when I’m done with you…I’ll make sure…you can’t walk in the morning…” he vowed. “So, you won’t leave my bed like you did that day.” His rage was palpable and cloying.

“…Loki…” you whined. But that only made him go harder. Faster.

You held the edge of the desk above you, trying to meet his passionate thrust with your own. Strands of your hair fell off to the sides. Your back arched, and you could feel the cards stick to the sweat of your skin.

“You like this, don’t you? Look how wet you are for me.” He watched as your sweet cum coated his shaft, making him groan. You could feel it dripping from you with each hard thrust of his cock. “Do you like it rough?”

“…fuck, Loki…please…”

“You’re enjoying this too much.” His hand moved from your shoulder up to your throat. He grabbed your chin in between his thumb and forefinger, “Next time, I’ll just fuck you in front of the team. So, they can see what a begging mess you become for me.”

And he was right. You are a mess. And you are enjoying this too much. You had always prided yourself in being a tough and independent person. But when it comes to Loki, you didn’t hesitate to be cuffed and barred. You didn’t fight it when he chased you. You wanted him to catch you. You wanted his dominance.

Loki bent to hover over you, pinning your hips down to his hard desk. “You are not to leave me. Ever. Do you understand?” his breath came out labored and grunting. “You can storm out angry. You can yell, scream, and fight. Hell, I prefer it. But you are never to leave without returning and talking about it afterward. Is that clear?” He thrust deep to mark his point. You moaned loudly into the stifling air. Your fingernails digging into his shoulders.

“Say it!” he thrust again, demanding an answer.

“yesyesyes…please Loki…I’m a-about to…” you squeezed tighter around him. You wrapped your arms around his neck and kissed him.

“Come on then. Give it to me.” He demanded in your ear. You wrapped your ankles around his waist, keeping him locked to you. Loki stood back up, taking your wrist ad holding them down against his desk. You were trapped in between his corded arms. All you could see was the beautiful face of a god unraveling above you. His slanted brows and his gritted teeth, his deep voice grunting at the feel of your warmth around him.

You could feel the tight pull of his shaft against your walls when he dragged himself out and plunged back in. “Fuck baby, that’s it. Tighter. Come on.”

Your legs shook and you screamed his name one last time. Your orgasm pulses inside you, making every single part of you sensitive and euphoric. Loki followed soon after. His hips jutted forward with each grunt and spill of his climax inside you.

Loki bent over you again. He caged your head between his arms and kissed you softly on your swollen lips. Your hands roamed his back, feeling his powerful muscles contort and contract as he moaned above you. Your nails would scratch on his smooth skin whenever his cock twitched inside you. “Loki.”

Without breaking your kiss, he scooped you up from his desk and walked over to his bed. “…such a good girl for me, darling…” he whispered on your skin. “…taking me all in like that. Good fucking girl...” Your throat was hoarse and stung too much to answer anything above a sigh. His plush blankets welcomed you as he laid you down on top. “…and do you know what good girls get?”

You bit your lip to stop from giggling. Loki lined himself up with your entrance once again and pushed slowly. Your giggles turned into moans as he continued his rhythmic thrust against your heat.

“Look at me, darling,” he asked so sweetly. Your furrowed eyes caught his. “I love you,” he murmured. “I should’ve said it from the very beginning.” He continued at a tantric pace, keeping his stare at yours. You tightened around him and you got a more genuine feel for him. Every vein, every inch, pulling your moans from your lips and leaving you with nothing but the sensation of his love and adoration for you.

He looked deep into your eyes, and you could tell that he was close again. “I love you too,” you whispered. Loki let go. At the same time, your body releases itself into a climax. One of the strongest, and most powerful, ones you’ve ever felt.

His body sunk on top of yours. He was finally letting go of the weight and worry that he held these past weeks. And you welcomed it by holding him tighter against you.

You woke up the next morning, tender and stinging. The tiniest movement of your hips shot an aching soreness throughout your body. And you smiled. Your mind reeled at the memories of last night. After your shared confessions, Loki took you again in the shower, then on the floor, and then in the shower again. He fucked you in every conceivable space in his room. And then he would make love to every inch of your body afterward.

“Can you walk?” his voice was low and gravelly. The dredges of sleep have yet to release him from their grasp.

“Well, good morning to you too.” You playfully pushed him aside, pretending to be insulted. He laughed as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you in for a morning kiss.

“Good morning, my love…” he said with adoration. “…Can you walk?” he repeated. You rolled your eyes at him, smiling. You knew the answer before you even attempted to sit up and try to get off his bed.

Your hips felt out of place. Your thighs burned and screamed at being used again so soon after last night. And your feet could barely hold you up threatening to slip. “No, I can’t. Are you happy?”

Loki scooped you up making you yelp and grab hold of his shoulders. “Tremendously, so.” He said kissing you heatedly on your lips.

Nat sat in the conference room, reading Tony’s mission briefing from the night before. The rest of the team returned early last night and decided to join in on the movie. No one had noticed that you and Laufeyson were missing until Thor asked where his brother was. “They were both very tired. I think they might’ve gone to bed early,” Nat smirked.

And now, here she was watching the two of you come out of the bedroom hallways. A sudden giggle escapes from your lips. She looked over the paper and witnessed Laufeyson carrying you into the kitchen bridal style. “Put me down! I can walk now you know,” you whispered into his ear.

“Oh, darling. We both know I’m too good for that to wear off so quickly.”

“You pompous ass!”

“Yes, one that has your scratch marks all over it!” He gave you a quick peck on the lips, followed by his signature devious smirk. Loki pulled out one of the chairs and sat down with you on top of his lap.

Oh, this oughta be good! Nat neglected the rest of her work on the table and made her way over to the two of you. Loki had conjured a muffin and some coffee for you. While you sat on his lap feeding him grapes like he was Dionysus himself.

“You know, when I dared you to sit on his lap, I meant for the length of the movie,” Nat said coming up from behind you and sitting across the table. “Not indefinitely.”

“Your lovely friend here has been incapacitated, Agent Romanoff.” Loki smiled, nuzzling his nose against the smell of his shampoo in your hair. “I’m afraid she’ll need assistance from here on out. For the foreseeable future.”

“Stop it!” you chided him.

“Make me,” he teased.

⬅️ Truth or Dare | Hide and Seek (Coming Soon) ➡️

A/N: I guess I wasn't ready to let go of these two yet. This series wasn't supposed to have any major angst or plot. It was just supposed to be a collection of these two characters playing random "adult" games. So, I will try to get back to that thought and update whenever I think of something for them to do 😉.

🏷️ @emarich7 @michelleleewise @coldnique @psychospore @lokisgoodgirl @silverfire475 @fictive-sl0th @springdandelixn @wheredafandomat @goldencherriess @peaches1958 @salempoe @thomase1 @kkdvkyya @a-witch-with-words @mischief2sarawr @sarawr-reads @vbecker10 @peachymallow @irishhappiness @cakesandtom @simplyholl @here4thefanfics @tallseaweed @immersed-in-mischief @joyful-enchantress @lokisninerealms @kikster606 @glitterylokislut @loz-3 @slytherclaw1227 @chantsdemarins @the-lady-amphitrite @eleniblue @km-ffluv @lokidokieokie @n3rdybirdee @melsunshine-blog @gigglingtiggerv2 @lokischambermaid @cjand10 @asgards-princess-of-mischief @chrisevansmaindish @capswife @dangertoozmanykids101

317 notes · View notes

michelleleewise · 11 months

Note

So I have a prompt if you're willing.

So like a bunch I've seen in the past, what if Loki has a crush on the reader and doesn't know how to process his feelings. So he picks on her, pulls pranks on her, and just being kind of mean to her. But of course Loki doesn't see it that way. Instead of the reader standing up for herself or trying to beat him at his own game, she gets really down on herself. Being picked on reminds her of her bullies from highschool and all the bad feelings come back. She starts to isolate herself, grows quiet, and starts skipping things if she finds out Loki's going to be there. It isn't until Nat (or whoever) sets him right, that he realizes what he's been doing to her. Is it too late to save this could be relationship?

I would like a happy ending but plenty of angst. Feel free to say no if you don't want to. 💙🖤💚💜

Hiiiiiiiiii!!!! Sorry this took 500 years for me to get to!!!! But I'm here now and let's set this angstfest on its way!!!! Hehehe. Thank you so much for sending this to me!! I hope you enjoy!! 💚💚💚💚

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The Angel and the Fool

Pairing: Avenger Loki x female reader

Warnings: teasing, bullying, crying, depression, self deprecating thoughts, self esteem issues, body insecurities, loki being an idiot, nat being a good friend.

Summary: you and Loki had been friends for awhile, but recently his behavior towards you changed dramatically....

A/n: aaahhhh!!! This absolutely got away from me!! Lol sooooo it's a super long read, not sure how many words lol and a very very special Thank you to @mochie85 for all of your support and being my beta with this and and all your amazing thoughts!!!! Thank you!!!!! 💚💚💚 aaaand a new pic!!! 😁💚

You stood at the kitchen counter waiting for the world's slowest coffee machine to finish "all that money and stark can't even get a fast machine." You sighed leaning your elbow on the counter when you heard voices coming from the hallway "I told you brother, I was the one who broke up with her" Thor's voice boomed through the room like the thunder he was known for "whatever you say thor." Loki's smooth voice followed after. Looking up seeing the bane of your existence patting his brother on the shoulder as they walked into the kitchen. "Ah lady y/n, how are you?" Thor asked smiling as he reached into the cupboard grabbing a box of his pop tarts "I'm fine, how are you?" You asked as the coffee machine finally beeped signaling it was done.

"I am quite well thank you, we are headed to the training room." He said setting the box down next to you when you finally took stock of what they were wearing. Thor in his red shirt and black joggers when your eyes met Loki's, the smile on his face sending a shiver through you as your eyes traveled down seeing his tight black tank hugging every muscle he had. Biting you lip seeing his exposed arms, tracing the veins down to his long yet delicate fingers "your staring again darling." He purred snapping you out of your trance "sorry." You whispered grabbing the sugar bowl you began sweetening your coffee "I would be careful with that if I were you." Loki said making you look up at him "why is that?" You asked holding the spoon over your cup. "Well its just you mortals and sugar, i have heard it adds to the waistline does it not?" He asked smiling as his eyes traveled down your body.

"What..." you started when he raised his hand "I know it is not your fault, your weak mortal form cannot handle what we can." He said smiling again flexing his large pectoral muscles. Dropping the spoon you looked down at yourself, you knew you had put on a few pounds...being Pepper's assistant left Iittle time to make home cooked meals so a lot of your food was take out or on the run. You adjusted your belt feeling your eyes burn "you can always join us in the gym, i would be happy to...assist you." loki purred again. Looking up seeing he was still focused on your body "t..thanks but I..." you trailed off putting your cup in the sink

"I need to go, maybe I'll see you guys later." You said quickly leaving the room before he could say anything else. You made it to your office, flopping in your chair with a huff. "Does he think im fat?" You asked yourself straightening your back you looked down at your soft middle, poking it with your finger sighing. "Maybe a diet wouldn't be a bad idea." You said to yourself turning on your computer trying to get to work but Loki's words kept echoing in your head. You leaned back in your chair feeling a tear stream down your cheek. You had admittedly had a crush on the god practically since you were hired, and through your work with them you had grown closer to him, you could say you were friends. But the last few weeks he's seemed to go out of his way to point out every imperfection you had. You sighed closing your eyes deciding to go shopping after work to buy new clothes and a variety of green leafy things.

A few days later you once again stood in the kitchen placing various fruits and vegetables in a blender. Nat had told you about a smoothie that could help you lose weight when you saw Loki walking into the kitchen looking like be just rolled out of bed. His hair was a disheveled mess, the muscles of his bare chest flexing as he ran a hand through it "Hello little mortal, what are you up to now?" He asked walking to the fridge grabbing two bottles of water making your heart plummet "nothing." You said quietly continuing your work. "Mmm, and the change of wardrobe?" He asked gently tugging on the end of your overly large blouse "stop it." You snapped swatting his hand away hearing him laugh. "Did we wake up in a mood darling?" He asked taking a seat on the stool in front of you. "Dont you have a guest to get back to?" You sneered pointing at his second water bottle "She will be fine, this is much more entertaining." He smiled grabbing a strawberry from your pile taking a bite as he stared into your eyes.

You felt your heart sink at the confirmation, the familiar burning in your eyes returning "I'm not here to entertain you Loki." You growled when his bright emerald eyes met yours "but you do it oh so well." He purred biting into another strawberry. You sighed, closing your eyes fighting back the tears that were threatening to expose you when you heard a pair of heels clicking against the tile floor "there you are, you just left me alone." A woman's voice sounded through the room making your eyes shoot open, a tall thin redhead sauntered up to the counter placing a perfectly manicured hand on Loki's bicep "apologies, I became distracted." He said not taking his eyes off of you. "Oh, is she making us smoothies?" The woman asked excitedly as she took the seat next to him. "I do not know, are you y/n?" He asked, a smirk spreading across his face as you placed the last of the ingredients in the blender

"well she's your assistant isn't she? Why else would she be here with you?" The woman laughed as you turned on the blender hoping to drown her out when you saw the lid of the blender begin to glow "what the..." you were cut off as the lid flew off and the entire contents of the blender shot out and all over your shirt, gasping as the cold liquid seeped through to your skin "oh dear...it seems you will need to change that hideous shirt." Loki's voice entered your consciousness as your eyes shot to his seeing him laughing with his "date". you grabbed a towel trying to get as much of the green concoction off you as you could, tears welling in your eyes "green really is your color darling" Loki purred making you sigh.

You threw the towel in the sink seeing the redhead pressed against his arm laughing when you looked at him, his eyes roaming your now drenched shirt "i...I need to go." You said quickly heading towards the hall when Nat walked in "y/n, what happened?" She asked seeing your ruined shirt "nothing, just..." you said looking over your shoulder seeing loki had turned still watching you "just a blender mishap, I'm fine." You said stepping around her when she grabbed your arm "y/n, are you ok?" She asked, her eyes boring into you. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?" You asked as nat glanced back into the kitchen seeing loki and the redhead "y/n.." She started when you pulled your arm free "I said im fine nat, i...I have to go pepper is waiting." You said quickly turning to the elevator before she could say anything else.

You stepped in pushing the button, as the doors closed you finally allowed the tears to fall. Any inkling of a hope you had for you and Loki had just been crushed under the reality of your life you would never be good enough. Your mind went back to the woman he was with, she could have been a model, an actress. You had to admit she was beautiful when your mind went back over the last few weeks with Loki, his constant comments about your weight, your clothes, the time you tried to add a little makeup to your routine hoping he would notice, but his reaction crushed you "aren't clowns supposed to be in the circus?" He had asked shaking his head. Every off handed comment, every slight against your appearance drudging memories long buried..."if you lost a few pounds maybe a guy would be interested"..."is face transplant surgery a thing? Because you need one."..."what guy in their right mind would go out with you." You made it to your office, thankful you kept an extra shirt in your desk for just in case situations you quickly changed, tossing the soiled shirt into your bag as you flopped down into your chair. "I thought we were atleast friends." You said to yourself wiping the tears from your cheeks when you heard a knock on your door

"Hey y/n, we have a meeting with the team, we gotta go." Pepper said smiling "is...is Loki going to be there?" You asked grabbing your pen and a pad of paper "yeah, it's an all hands meeting about the new protocols for missions." She said "umm, I'm really not feeling very well...can I skip this one?" You asked as she stepped in closing the door "what's wrong y/n?" She asked sitting across from you "nothing, I'm fine." You said looking down at your desk "I Just don't feel well, that's all." You said looking back up seeing her eyeing you "well ok, why don't you take the rest of the day off and I'll see you in the morning." She said standing back up. "Thank you Pepper, I really appreciate it." You said quickly gathering your things "you know you can talk to me right, if you need to?" She asked opening your door "yes, thank you but I'm fine." You said seeing her nod "ok, I'll see you tomorrow." She said walking out closing the door behind her.

You grabbed your bag, turning your lights off you locked the door to your office before heading downstairs hoping you could slip out undetected. You made it to the common room when a familiar voice sounded behind you "where are you off to little mortal? We have a meeting" Loki asked making you freeze "i...I'm not feeling well so I'm going home." You said not turning around "well do try to eat some vegetables, not that chocolate you like so much." He said hearing him take a step closer to you "you know what they say, it's goes straight to your thighs." He purred next to your ear making you look down "I have to go Loki." You said quickly walking to the nearest exit when you heard Thor "come brother, everyone is waiting." You turned to see Loki still looking at you as Thor patted his shoulder. Putting your head down you pushed the door open and headed for the car park. Throwing everything in the back you climbed in turning the key you looked down at yourself, sighing you put your car into gear and headed home, and away from Loki.

Loki's pov-

Loki quickly closed the door to his room and headed for the kitchen. Looking at his watch, smiling at the memory of when you gave it to him "there, now you won't be late anymore." You had said as you handed him the green velvet box, a large smile spread across your beautiful face as he opened it seeing the green iridescent face and gold hands ticking away, the black leather strap surrounding a tiny green pillow. He knew right then that his feelings for you went beyond comrodery, surpassing friendship into....something else, something he hadn't ever felt before. He quickened his pace knowing right now you would he in the kitchen messing with that odd machine that makes your coffee every morning. It had been two weeks since the incident with the smoothie and his conscience had been eating at him ever since.

He wanted more, he longed to hold you in his arms and never let you go but you always kept him at arms length, shying away when he attempted his usual method of flirting, but he couldn't resist the pull you had on him so he kept at it...kept pushing. But he knew that day in the kitchen he had gone too far, as much as he loved seeing you flustered and the things your drenched shirt did to him as it clung to your breasts he also saw the sadness in your eyes, the tears threatening to spill over as you stormed towards the hall. He was about to go after when he saw you talking to the widow, who shot him a glare that sent ice up his spine before you were gone again. He had hoped to catch you in the meeting, pull you aside and finally confess but you had fallen ill, leaving again before he had a chance.

Glancing at his watch again he began to jog down the hall, he had tried to catch you everyday since but you always evaded him, never staying in the kitchen too long and he wasn't allowed on the upper floors where your office was, some nonsense about his probation and secured areas when he made it to the kitchen, sighing seeing you standing there with Thor. He furrowed his eyebrows taking in your appearance, your clothes were baggier on your small frame then normal, your long beautiful hair that framed your face so perfectly was pulled back into a messy bun, dark circles encompassed your once bright eyes that now seemed distant, the sparkle that was there now dimmed. "This truly is an odd contraption." Thor's voice pulled him from his trance as he saw you smile but it didn't reach your eyes.

He took a small step in when your eyes shot up to his, your body going rigid as you stared at him "ah brother, lady y/n was showing me how she makes coffee." Thor said taking a sip from his cup "I must say it is quite good, you should try some." He said walking around to the other side of the island sitting on a stool "i...I have to go, you can show him Thor." You said quickly grabbing your cup you began walking to the elevator "y/n, may I..." he was silenced as you turned, the look in your eyes sending a shiver through him "I can't talk Loki, i...I have to get to work." You said, all emotion gone from your voice "but I...I just wanted to..." loki trailed off looking to his feet "I am sorry for the day in the kitchen, with the blender." He said fidgeting with his fingers "it's fine, don't worry about it." You said, the same coldness in your tone as he looked up at you "it's not the first time, and it won't be the last." You said taking a step back towards the elevator "but y/n..." he started when you held your hand up "I need to go." You said quickly turning and before he could say anything else you were gone.

He returned to the kitchen to see Thor staring at him "what was all that about?" He asked sipping his coffee "I need to speak with her but she had to go." Loki said setting the kettle on the stove. "Mm, well there is the party stark is throwing tonight, I'm sure the lady will be there, she goes to all of them." Thor said matter of factly "Thor, I never thought I would say this but you are a genuis." Loki said turning the stove off heading towards his room. The party, how could he forget the party! He thought as he walked in heading to his closet he pulled his black suit out, laying it on the bed going to his dresser he pulled out his black silk shirt and vest laying them next to his suit. "I will ask her to dance with me and then tell her." Loki said to himself grabbing a towel heading into the bathroom "tonight y/n, you will finally be mine." He said, smiling to himself as he turned the water on and began to prepare for tonight.

Straightening his suit he walked into the large overcrowded room. The music booming through the speakers made his head throb as he skirted his way through the throngs of people, looking around hoping to catch a glimpse of you as he made it to the bar. He looked up and down but saw no sign of you at all "what'll you have?" The bartender asked snapping him back "oh, um whiskey please." Loki said looking back out to the large crowd "maybe she isn't here yet?" He said to himself as the bartender set a glass of amber liquid in front of him. "Ah Loki, I wasn't sure you would be here." He heard next to him, turning his head to see none other then the widow taking a seat on one of the stools "yes well, I am here looking for someone." He said glancing back out "oh I'm sure you have no shortage of "dates." She airquoted making him raise an eyebrow at her. "What does that mean?" He asked leaning on the bar.

"Nothing, just rumors of your conquests have definitely traveled through the tower." She laughed making him sigh "Hmm yes, I have heard." He said looking out to the crowd again "do you think y/n is running late?" He asked making her raise her eyebrow this time "why so interested?" She asked crossing her arms "no reason, I was only curious." He shrugged sipping his drink "Mm, if i didnt know better i would say you were more then curious." Nat said as she turned ordering her drink "and what pray tell makes you think that?" He asked seeing her smile "I am going to tell you something I probably shouldn't, but needs to be said." Nat said grabbing her drink

"I know you and y/n are friends, well were until as of recently." She said sipping her drink "but I know a person in love when I see them, reading people is what I do." She said seeing Loki's eyes widen "see, what you need to try to understand about our y/n is she has a very large heart, she cares alot." Nat continued seeing loki nod "but shes been through alot, people have not treated her with the same kindness she gives. And what you said to her....and before you ask yes i know about all of it." She said quickly before he could interupt "honestly, it devastated her. The last two weeks she hasnt been herself, she wont talk to anyone, she refuses to go to meetings." She sighed shaking her head "all im saying is, if you dont feel the same about her just tell her, but stop messing with her, she doesn't deserve it." Nat snapped standing from her stool. "Have a nice evening Loki." She said making her way back into the crowd.

Loki mulled her words over in his head what have i done? He thought as he downed his drink and began heading to the exit when the same redheaded woman from that day found him "Hey handsome, care for a dance?" She purred rubbing his arm "no thank you, I must be going." He said walking around her "I thought maybe we could have another sleep over, get to know eachother better." She said grabbing his bicep "apologies but I'm afraid the answer is still no, I...I have met someone." He said seeing her nod "lucky girl." She smiled removing her hand "I'll see you around." She smiled walking back into the crowd as Loki let out the breath he was holding. Now he just had to find a way to get to you and talk to you, tell you everything once and for all and he knew exactly how he was going to do it.

He continued walking through the crowd when he heard a familiar laugh, looking up seeing Thor on the balcony of the vip section, rolling his eyes seeing him swinging his precious hammer around when his eyes landed on you. "Y/n..." he sighed taking you in. Your hair was gently curled cascading down to your shoulders, the floor length powder blue dress hugged your beautiful body perfectly, the long slit landing at the middle of your thigh made his heart race as you shifted, exposing your supple skin. His hands clenching into fists thinking about how badly he wanted to run his hands up and down those beautiful legs as they were wrapped around him, squeezing him as he gave you everything he had...worshipping you exaclty how you deserved.

Shaking his head he adjusted his slacks that had suddenly become very tight as he pulled his phone out, dialing the number he wanted he looked up watching Thor set his hammer down before pulling out his own device "ah brother, where are you?" Thor asked looking around the room "Thor, may I have a word?" Loki asked as their eyes met "meet me at the bar." Loki said hanging up quickly heading back to the bar when a large hand landed on his shoulder "loki, is everything alright?" Thor asked leaning on the bar. "Brother, I have a favor to ask." Loki said looking back to the balcony, Thor following his gaze nodding "tell me what you need." Thor said seeing Loki smile.

You stood off to the side, wondering how you let nat talk you into coming tonight. You pulled at the dress that she had loaned you. It was too tight, the neckline definately too low as it traveled down between your breasts, the only thing holding it in place was the thin strip of material traveling behind your neck, and the slit was definitely too high. You felt exposed as you shifted on your feet trying to hold your breath. You watched Thor bow before walking down towards the bar. Looking around you bit your lip, the only reason you had agreed to come was because you knew Loki wouldn't be up here. "The vip section." You laughed to yourself seeing nat had rejoined wanda, Steve was laughing with bucky, the other agents you had seen on your floor mingling...they deserved to be here, they were heroes... they were beautiful and here you were, the ugly duckling among the swans. You looked down sucking in your stomach trying not to stretch the dress when a voice next to you made you jump.

"Well hello gorgeous, can I buy you a drink?" You turned your head seeing Matt, the agent who had the office next to yours smiling at you. "Oh...I have one, but thank you." You whispered watching his eyes travel down your body. "Hmm, well we could get out of here, I don't live too far." He winked smiling "um, no...thank you though." You offered a smile sipping your drink. "Women don't usually turn down a night with me, you sure you won't reconsider?" He asked again stepping into your space "t..thank you for the offer but yes I'm sure." You said taking a step back. Yes he was attractive, very much so but you barely knew him and there was no way you were gonna let him see you naked. You cleared your throat looking back out into the crowd when you heard him laugh "Ya know you clean up pretty nice, I was honestly surprised to see you had brushed your hair." He laughed sipping his drink. "I...um thanks?" You said looking down.

"you actually look kind of decent." He laughed again eyeing you. "Mm...it's like those movies where the ugly girl puts on a dress and makeup and suddenly she isn't AS ugly....that's what you remind me of." He said. You felt the familiar burning in your eyes, closing them as he went on "but you know what they say, put lipstick on a pig and it's still a pig." He laughed louder when a loud thump made your eyes shoot open, looking over seeing Matt pinned against the wall, Thor holding him by the throat "you will not to speak to her that way." Thor said sternly leaning down coming face to face with him "apologize...now." Thor growled as Matt's eyes widened. "I...I'm s...sorry." he choked out, his eyes not leaving the massive blonde "Thor...stop." you said grabbing his arm but there was no way you could make him budge when his eyes met yours, the anger that was there softening as he looked back at Matt

"you will never speak to her again, am I understood?" Thor said growled into Matt's face as he nodded "go, before I change my mind." Thor said tossing him to the floor watching him scurry away. "Thor?" You whispered when he turned back to you. "Are you alright my lady?" He asked stepping closer "yes, i...im ok. Thank you but you didn't have to do that." You said looking down. "He had no right to say those....horrible things to you y/n." He said as you shook your head "no he's...he was right, I don't belong here." You breathed looking up seeing Thor's eyes wide "what ever would make you think that?" He asked crossing his arms "don't play dumb Thor, you know as well as everyone else." You sighed looking out to everyone having fun

"they're strong, beautiful, they could take anyone in the room home with them." You said fidgeting with your glass "i...I'm not any of those things." You said feeling a tear slide down your cheek "i never will be, because no matter what I do I always be me...fat, ugly me." You sighed setting your drink down "I think im gonna head home for the night." You said looking to the floor as you walked around him "y/n, wait." He said grabbing your wrist "do you truly see yourself as such?" He asked making you laugh "it's what I've always been told. Even your brother has made it abundantly clear that I am...how did he put it...oh yes a clown that needed to join the circus." You said feeling a lump form in your throat "and you know the pathetic thing?" You asked finally looking up into his eyes "i...I love him...and I will never be good enough for him." You huffed a laugh remembering the day in the kitchen.

"Y/n, my brother is an idiot...a fool." Thor said taking a step closer to you. "You have to understand, when we were younger...on Asgard he had no shortage of attention, men and women would happily bend to his will, do anything he asked of them to be his...to be in his favor." Thor said looking down "and those who didn't he would break them down, make them feel less then to get what he wanted...regardless of how selfish it was." Thor continued, his hand sliding down to yours "and here...on Midgard it has been much the same, I was never lacking attention and i...I let it go to me head." Thor said looking up into your eyes "i?...what do you mean i?" You asked furrowing your eyebrows watching Thor shake his head "are you feeling ok Thor? Do you need to sit down?" You asked squeezing his hand "no! I'm not...i have wronged you, and how i treated you...." he snapped, trailing off looking around.

"Come with me." He said pulling you along behind him. Running to keep up with his long strides "Thor, where are we going?" You asked as he pulled you into a secluded corner away from everyone "if I didn't know better I'd think you were going to kill me." You laughed as he pressed your back against the wall "umm...Thor?" You stuttered when you saw him close his eyes, a green light washing over him when suddenly Loki was in his place "Loki!? What..." you were cut off by his hand gently covering your mouth "shh...I cannot be up here." He said lifting a finger to his lips. "I needed to speak with you and this was the only way." He whispered lowering his hand from your mouth

"what...why?" You whispered back as he placed his hands on your shoulders "y/n, is that truly where your feelings lie?" He asked, his hands slowly sliding down your bare arms "i...you...i know..." you trailed off, closing your eyes remembering what you just confessed to "thor" "Loki i..." He cut you off again by his finger pressed to your lips, his deep green eyes boring so deep into yours you were afraid they would consume you. You lifted your hand gently grabbing his wrist moving his hand "yes Loki...it was the truth." You whispered seeing tears well in his eyes. "I know you don't feel the same, I'm sorry I ruined our friendship its just...."

you were cut off again, all coherent thought leaving you as his lips pressing to yours, the hand you were holding reaching up to cup your cheek as the other slid around your side to your back pulling you closer to him. Gasping feeling his fingers touch the bare skin of your back when you felt his tongue slip between your parted lips, moaning into his mouth tasting the whiskey on lips as you returned the kiss, tilting your head as his hand slid to your hair holding you to him. The kiss was everything you had ever imagined and more. It was dominating and all consuming, and you never wanted it to end. Wrapping your arm around his middle you pressed yourself as close to him as you could, your nails digging into the back of his suit jacket when he pulled back slightly, nibbling your bottom lip as he pressed his forehead to yours, your breath mixing together as you tried to regain your composure.

"I...I owe you an apology y/n." He panted tightening his grip around your waist "I owe you so much more then that." He said lifting his head looking into your eyes "i...I don't understand Loki." You said searching his eyes for an answer. "Y/n, my sweet, beautiful little mortal i..." He trailed off looking down "I have never been the best at expressing my emotions, and in truth as a prince of Asgard i...i never took into account others feelings, i was selfish and took what i wanted however i wanted" He said looking back up at you "I know it is no excuse for how I have treated you, but after hearing that pathetic boy say those things to you." He growled "I see what I have done to you, how I've made you feel and I....I am ashamed of myself for everything I put you through." He said, a tear streaming down his cheek as he looked down again.

"The truth y/n is...that I love you, I have loved you for so long." He whispered "and I was afraid you would never feel the same for the would be invader of your realm, but I simply couldn't get enough of you...of your bright smile, your kindess, of your attentions, i craved it...so in my selfishness I teased and mocked, as I had done so many times before hoping to get even the slightest reaction...a smile, a snide remark...but I watched you slowly pull away from me, hiding yourself away in your office, the spark inside you slowly dying and i...y/n I can never apologize enough for my behavior." He said looking up, your heart breaking seeing the tears steaming down his cheeks. "D...do you think you could ever forgive me?" He asked, his voice shaking as his lip quivered. You lifted your hands, cupping his cheeks seeing his eyes close "Loki.." you whispered, your thumbs wiping the tears from his cheeks as he slowly opened his eyes.

"Please y/n, let me take you out...allow me to treat you as you deserve...to worship you as the goddess that you are." He whispered wrapping his fingers around your wrists. You smiled looking deeply into his eyes "all you had to do was ask." You said seeing him return the smile "oh my perfect, sweet y/n." He sighed gently placing a kiss on your lips before wrapping his arms around you pulling you to his chest, his large hand holding the back of your head as he rocked you back and forth. "I'm sorry...so so sorry." He whispered into your hair. "It's ok Loki, I forgive you." You said into his chest, squeezing his middle tightly. "What did I do to deserve you?" He asked kissing the top of your head.

"You made a mistake, but you learned from it." You said pulling back to look at him "and you apologized...who am I to hold a grudge?" You asked seeing him smile "you are truly an angel sent from the heavens." He said cupping your cheek "come, allow me to take you to dinner, where we can talk more privately." He said stepping back "ok, let me get my coat." You said as he wrapped his arm around your waist you walked through the room towards the exit, glancing over seeing nat you waved as she winked lifting her glass when you caught Loki mouthing something to her. "What did you say?" You asked as he smiled down at you "oh, I was thanking her." He said squeezing you tighter "for pointing out how much of an idiot I had been." He said grabbing the door holding it open for you "after you my angel." He said, making you blush as you walked past him, feeling his fingers twine with yours you squeezed, smiling to yourself and for the first time in a long time you had hope.....

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moonyswritinq · 2 years

Text

looking at you — loki laufeyson x male reader oneshot

❝ LOOKING AT YOU ❞

SYNOPSIS ➢ Yours and Loki's relationship had always been made up of remarks, rude comments and arrogant opinions. An Asgardian ball brings more than you bargained for and you are finally confronted with your feelings.

PAIRING ➢ loki laufeyson x male reader

CONTENT WARNING ➢ nemesis to lovers, gay reader, flirting, fluff, angst ish?, hurt then comfort, cursing, tension, banter, kissing, implied sexual content, rude comments, reader's sexuality assumed, reader's brother's name is Theodore, kinda? dark backstory for reader, maybe slight ooc Loki, ODIN !!!, takes place before Loki finds out he's a Laufeyson so that is why he is Odinson, just two giggly gay men being in love

WORD COUNT ➢ 4.1 k

AUTHORS NOTE ➢ references reader as you, y/n and y/l/n! finally, i bring you all a male reader fanfic! i've been trying to finish this for ages and i'm so happy i finally got it done. this is for you, Phillip <3

MASTERLIST

The first time you visited Asgard you were blown away by it. The colours, the people, heck, even the damn cobblestones seemed magnificent. It was all so much brighter than you were used to. Growing up, you’ve lived in your family home, passed on from generation to generation. It’s a dark and depressing house that somehow always manages to press onto your lungs, trying to suffocate the soul out of you. You were so used to the darkness that when you travelled to Asgard with your family it felt as if you could for the first time breathe properly.

Perhaps the earliest thing you remember in your life is the portrait in the living room. The windows are tall, yet the sunlight never seemed to reach the room inside, always casting the house in an eerie shadow. You remember sitting on the stool, having been told to stay still. Afraid to move. Afraid of the consequences of disobeying your mother. Theodore, your older brother, towering beside you, your mother’s hand on your shoulder. A predator setting its claws in its prey.

It’s been that way your whole life. Always staying in Theodore’s shadow — which you didn’t mind, really, because it meant your mother’s focus was on him and not on you. That didn’t let you off the hook completely, though. No, your mother has always been breathing down your neck about proper behaviour and the future and what you should and shouldn’t do. Your father isn’t much better; a figure you rarely see and when you do it is just to agree with your mother and remind you of the future legacy.

Suffice to say you desperately needed to get away. Theodore was to be wed to some lady of Asgard and the pressure was now on you to find a bride of your own as well. As if you’d ever let that happen. He suggested to your parents that he would take you to an Asgardian ball coming up and take the opportunity to introduce you to his fiancé. Somehow, your parents let you two go alone. Thank the gods. The last thing you needed was your parents hanging over your shoulder all night.

Magnificent.

Magical.

Absolutely, impossibly, beautiful.

The only words you could describe Asgard with. The golden city is glittering in the setting sun. You don’t even mind that it blinded you. Your breath is knocked out of you every time you see it — as if you’re gazing upon it for the very first time. You and Theodore made your way down the rainbow bridge, swallowed by the sea of revellers also wanting a taste of the Asgardian castle. You were clothed in the finest suit you owned, black fabric hugging your frame and trying desperately to avoid the other people. You scowled as an intoxicated woman brushed up against your arm, almost spilling her entire drink.

“Watch it,” you snapped. She gave you a dark glare and turned to leave, quickly getting lost in the crowd

“Bastard.”

Theodore rolled his eyes. “Would it really be too much to ask for you to not act like an asshole tonight?”

You gave him a sideways glance, cocking your head. He just sighed and urged his feet forward. It wasn’t that you hated being here — you would much rather attend a ball than stay in that awful house another second. But that didn’t mean you were happy to be here — it isn’t your life. This was sunlight and glamour and blooming flowers in the spring. You were rain and quiet and a book on an autumn afternoon.

Besides, there was a particular man you were hoping to avoid. You didn’t need tonight to get any worse.

You passed the gates, your head thrown back admiring the walls. They really liked gold, huh? Your brother tugged on your sleeve, urging you forward.

“Why in such a hurry, brother dearest?”

He chose to bite back his reply, knowing you couldn’t help yourself. One day that tongue of yours was bound to get you in trouble. He led you through the giant doors, held open to welcome the stream of guests. Flowing gowns, extravagant costumes, silken robes: they were all a blur of colour in the great hall. It stretched down opposite the great doors, ending in a golden throne. God, these people really were excessive.

The floor was a shining mix of white marble and golden threads that stretched to the walls and climbed upwards, towards the roof. If you looked closely, you could see the golden threads shining faintly and moving very slowly, as if the dancing gave life to them. An easy illusion, you could clearly determine, but a beautiful one for the simpler eye.

Theodore started down the hall, pushing his way through the dancing crowds. You hurried after him, afraid you’d lose him in the blurring colours if you stood still for too long. That wouldn’t be the worst thing, though, you realised.

This really wasn’t your scene. You usually felt like a black spot in the midst of movement, a token misplaced, compared to every other gentleman in the halls. A shadow hiding in a dark corner. But not tonight. Tonight, it felt as if a hundred eyes were fixated on you, watching your every move. You threw a glance over your shoulder, trying to ease the fear of someone staring at you. It didn’t go away.

Theodore was leading you towards the throne. Oh, no. That’s the completely wrong way you wanted to be walking. You tried to signal Theodore, but he ignores you and keeps walking. God, he’s stubborn. It’s too late now anyway. You could feel the eyes of Odin, king of Asgard, on the two of you, approaching with raised chins and well-kept smiles.

“Welcome, honoured guests!” His smile was wide and his eyes alight with amusement. Despite the warm exterior you couldn’t help but shiver at his penetrating gaze. Something about him put you off. “Theodore y/l/n, I am delighted you could attend tonight’s ball.” His eyes shifted to you. “And I see you brought a guest.”

“Oh, yes, this is my younger brother, y/n.” Theodore bowed his head at Odin. Beside him, stood Frigga, the Queen of Asgard, who nodded back. “I wanted to introduce him to my betrothed — with your permission, of course.”

You shot a sideways glance at him. Who even was this bride?

“Of course,” Odin’s voice boomed. He gestured to a guard and muttered something in his ear, who in turn bowed deeply, almost touching his toes.

You rolled your eyes. The disgusting ass-kissing apparently wasn’t excluded from the halls of Asgard. A lady came forwards, taking your brother’s arm and smiling up at him. You cocked an eyebrow.

“y/n, this is my betrothed, Cassandra,” said Theodore. She smiled at you, offering you her hand. You glared at it but didn’t make any effort to take it. Your brother cleared his throat at her faltering smile. “I am so happy you finally have the chance to meet.”

“I am too,” said Cassandra. “Theo’s told me so much about you, y/n.”

You crossed your arms, glancing at your brother, knowing fully well that all you had known about her before this day was that she was a woman. “Yeah, you too.”

Theodore bent down to Cassandra’s ear and whispered something you couldn’t and frankly didn’t have any interest in hearing. She left with a small smile, her sage gown fluttering behind her.

“What the hell was that?” hissed Theodore. “Can’t you behave for more than one minute?”

“I don’t know, can I?” You raised an eyebrow defiantly at him. He gave you a flat look and you threw your arms out in exasperation. “Come on, I greeted her, I talked to her — what more do you want from me?”

“You barely said more than two words to her!” Theodore pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers. “You didn’t even try.”

You gave him a flat look. “I didn’t need to try to know I don’t like her.”

Theodore’s gaze pinned you to the spot. You looked away from it, trying to ease the squirming feeling. “This is important, y/n, not just another childish game.”

“I am offended by that.” Another look. You rolled your eyes. “Fine, I’ll try.” At that exact moment, Cassandra returned to her spot beside your brother.

She fixed you with a look, tilting her head. “If you keep rolling your eyes like that they will get stuck. We wouldn’t want you gazing into the back of your head for the rest of your life, would we?” she said, a smirk on her face.

Your eyes widened, glancing between her and your brother. He smiled, giving you a knowing look. Your smirk grew as you leaned forward. “And why wouldn’t we want that, m’lady?”

“Then you wouldn’t be able to see my punch coming.” She pouted, but her eyes shone with amusement. “Not really a fair fight, is it?”

You chuckled, leaning back on your heels. “Maybe I do like this one, after all.”

“What did I tell you, brother?” laughed Theodore. You dipped your head, smiling.

“Yes, yes, you were right—“

Your words faltered when the princes of Asgard walked into the hall, every eye turning to them. Thor, his blonde hair almost glowing in the fiery light, a charming smile on his face, walked towards the throne. He shot every person he passed a wide grin. Beside him walked his younger brother — the menace, as you liked to call him. His dark hair slicked back in loose curls, framed his green eyes. A thin smirk played on his lips as he made his way towards you, and when his eyes found yours you could see the mischievous glint in them. You let out a deep sigh and had to fight the urge to roll your eyes at his growing grin. Smug bastard.

“Father, mother,” announced Thor, bowing slightly at the king and queen, his brother following suit. He turned to your brother and Cassandra with a smile. “My lord, my lady.”

Theodore clasped Thor’s forearm, bringing him into a hug. He muttered a few words into the other man’s ear, to which he smiled. You rolled your eyes.

“I don’t see why I am required to be stuck here with a far from desirable company.”

“Pleased to see you too, my dear y/n,” drawled Loki from his spot beside Thor. You mouthed an ‘I hate you’ before raising an expectant eyebrow at your brother.

Theodore rolled his eyes. “Brother, you know the whole reason why you’re even here.”

Loki’s ears perked, suddenly standing up straighter. “Oh, is there some delicious y/n drama I hear? Pray tell, darling.”

“Shut up,” you warned Theodore, sending a glare to him. You’ve never felt a connection with women, no matter how beautiful or quick-witted or intelligent. None of them made you feel that spark, that fiery feeling you knew should be in your chest. Something to make you desire them, want them. You wanted to feel it — so badly. Your brother didn’t know it, but you knew you would never find a suitable wife.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Loki, leaning back on his elbows against the throne, a confident smirk on his lips. He wasn’t wearing his usual gold and green armour but had opted for a subtler dark green suit with gold accents, the laces open at the collar. The firelight from a nearby chandelier danced across his face, shading the edges of his jaw. Your eyes jumped between his features, drinking in the collected demeanour on his face, his cool gaze turning to you.

Your eyes immediately turned away, feeling your cheeks start to burn. Wait, why were you flustered? You’ve never particularly liked Loki. He was stubborn and arrogant and infuriating. He always knew exactly what buttons to push to get you enraged. Your relationship was strictly confined to petty remarks, rude comments about one another and endless teasing banter. You couldn’t change that because of some idiotic emotions.

Thor walked up the dais to the throne, a woman by his side. He introduced her as Jane Foster, the person he was courting. Odin gave him a look you couldn’t decipher before his eyes turned to Loki. The orchestra started playing a lively waltz, the music curling around every person in the room.

“Loki, you should follow your brother’s lead,” said Odin, “Find yourself a partner.” You didn’t miss the glance Loki sent your way at those words.

“Actually, I would rather not,” he drawled, rolling his eyes. “I much prefer the life of an available man. Settling down is much too, what’s the word? Boring. Besides, there is nobody fitting enough for me.”

Thor tried and failed to hold in a snort. You raised a questioning eyebrow his way but he only responded with a half-committed shrug. Odin’s eyes darkened.

“You’re Asgard Royalty, the future of this kingdom. You have to act the part.” said the king.

Frigga put a hand on her husband’s arm. “Do not be so hard on him, he is still very young.”

“At least find yourself a partner to dance with,” Odin sighed in exasperation.

Loki pushed himself from his elbows, straightening. He let out a dry chuckle, but his eyes were fixated on you as he gritted out a choked, “Fine.” He walked towards you, extending his hand with expectation in his gaze.

Your eyes widened as the realisation hit of what he was indicating. What was he thinking? “Loki, I—“ you managed to force out but trailed off from lack of words.

“Come on, don’t you just stand there staring, love, at least try to move your feet.” He rubbed the bridge of his nose, letting out an exasperated sigh. “If you think everyone’s watching you, they’re not — they’re watching me.”

You sent him a tight smile. “Charming.”

“Only for you, darling.” He gazed at you through his lashes, a confident smirk on his lips, and his palm outstretched. Your eyes tried to find Theodore’s, or even Thor’s, but they were both gone with their respective partner. You sighed and placed your hand in Loki’s, somewhat reluctantly, and let yourself be led towards the edge of the dance floor. His fingers closed over yours, guiding you to where it should be placed over his shoulder, letting his hand wrap around your waist. He took the first steps of the dance, guiding you with him.

You studied his face, examining the way his eyes glinted in the firelight. They were as amused as ever, the exact picture of mischievousness. If eyes were the windows to the soul then you had a pretty good idea of what his soul looked like. His smirk was as charming as ever, tongue as quick, yet you could not determine the change in him. Why would he suddenly disrupt

You tilted your head to the side ever so slightly, narrowing your eyes. “Why would you do that?”

“Do what?” questioned Loki, innocence lacing his words.

“Don’t act all innocent now, Loki,” you spit out between gritted teeth. “Asking me to dance — what were you thinking?”

He rolled his eyes. “I was thinking I wanted to dance with you.”

“Why?”

“Do I need a reason?”

“When you have spent your whole life despising me, then yes. You always have a reason.”

Loki sighed, leaning closer to your ear. “I have never despised you, love.”

He leaned into you, hesitating before pressing a light kiss to your cheek and letting you go, turning to walk away. You stood there, breath hitched and a bit dazed from the interaction. What the fuck just happened? What was the meaning of that? People continued to dance around you, their colourful clothing a big contrast to yours. You hurried off the dance floor, trying to spot Loki’s dark frame.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a green glimmer disappearing into one of the halls. Your eyes narrowed. There was no doubt it was him. You took off, walking with determined strides towards the doors. The hall was darker and a lot quieter than the main hall, the silence almost suffocating. Only the occasional note or laugh seeped through the strong oak doors.

Your eyes roamed the shadows beside you, all too aware of Loki’s ability to disappear whenever it pleased him.

“Loki,” you called out, even though you knew there would be no reply.

Your feet took you down the marble floor, every step too loud in your ears. There was no sign of him. You felt your cheeks burn, embarrassed and furious — a dangerous combination. Of course, he would toy with you, with your feelings. You knew Loki better than to expect anything less from him. God, how could you have been so stupid?

Loki would have it coming. He will have something coming, you just didn’t know what, yet. He may be a god, but you were a vengeful man with way too much time on your hands.

Without a second thought, you set off to the gardens. It was the only place you were going to be left alone tonight. The cold air hit your flushed skin, furiously trying to cool it down. You took off your jacket and unbuttoned the few top buttons to quickly lower your temperature. Asgard’s palace may be beautiful, but it attracted the warmth too quick for your liking.

Your breath fogged in front of you and despite yourself, you let out a chuckle. Either it is too cold or too warm — nature was never happy.

“You will become sick like that.”

You spun on your feet, standing face to face with Loki. The moon lit up his face in an entirely different way than the firelight did. His jaw sharper. His eyes too cunning. His skin like a pale ghost waiting to haunt you after its death. You let out a breath, shaking your head.

“What do you want, Loki?”

He tilted his head, his hands in the pocket of his pants. His gaze was almost… amused? “I don’t want you sick.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.” You turned away from him, instead opting to admire the landscape around you. A large tree stood a few feet from you, its branches reaching for the sky like drowning hands in a lake.

“Is it not obvious?” he asked as you turned around to face him again.

You sighed with exasperation, rolling your eyes. “No, it is not obvious, Loki. You are toying with me. I know we don’t get along well but messing with my emotions is over the line.”

“Yes, I know, I’m so—” Loki cut himself off, his eyes narrowing. He opened his mouth but promptly shut it. “Your emotions?”

You realised what you had said and immediately turned your gaze away. “No. No emotions. What are emotions? You have emotions.”

Loki chuckled, walking closer to you. “Is there something you wish to tell me?” he asked with a growing smile, furrowing his brows. You continued to avoid his gaze, shaking your head. His hand cupped your chin, tipping it so you were forced to meet his eyes. “Are you sure?”

You were about to deny all claims when a thought made itself known, causing you to smirk at him. “Actually, I think you have something to tell me. Wasn’t it you who so desperately wanted to have a dance with me? Who kissed me?”

This time it was Loki’s time to blush, eyes lingering on your lips before diverting to the sky. His hand began to slip from your cheek but you caught it before it did, bringing it to its place again. You smiled reassuringly at him, meeting his eyes again. Slowly, you leaned in, hesitating halfway when he had made no sign to move. Despite yourself, your thoughts began to run wild.

Had you read the interaction wrong? Maybe he actually did want nothing to do with you. How could you even begin to explain a situation like this? Gods, he was really going to hate you after this. You sighed and tried to step backwards, but Loki’s hands suddenly firm grip on your collar pushed you forwards — into him.

Your lips met his, soft and fierce at the same time. You closed your eyes, bringing your hand to the nape of his neck, pushing him closer to you. The kiss was everything you would expect from Loki. It was gentle but challenged you. He pushed you and you pushed back, just as hard. His hands snaked around your neck and began to slowly push you backwards. You felt your back hit the trunk of the tree, rather hard, and a breath escaped you at the impact. Loki pulled away, his eyes roaming your face, lingering on your lips. A laugh escaped him, causing him to fall against you.

“Who would have thought? The cold and ruthless God of Mischief turned into a giggling moron just for me.” You shook your head, chuckling and bringing your arms around him to hug him closer.

He pulled away to glance at you, dismay clear on his features. “Giggling moron? And this is coming from the idiot who can’t stop blushing every five minutes.”

You scoffed. “Not very polite for a prince, huh?”

“Well, what can I say? You bring out the impoliteness in me,” smiled Loki, bringing you in for another kiss. His lips trailed down your neck, sucking and biting at every piece of skin he could reach. Your hands found his hair, your head thrown back to give him better access. He was truly divine. And to think you had thought him so awful only hours before. To be fair, he was still an arrogant asshole — but a hot one at that.

You let out a low moan, something that seemed to make Loki only more motivated. You could feel yourself getting more aroused by the second and you swear that the two of you would have done it if it weren’t for two guards entering the gardens, chatting among themselves. Loki sighed against you, waiting until the footsteps of the guards had disappeared.

They had been completely oblivious to the two of you, hidden beneath the shadows of the tree’s branches. A chuckle escaped your lips, meeting Loki’s gaze already on you.

“What?” you asked, brows furrowed.

He tried to hide his smile, averting his eyes. “Just— you’re so beautiful.” Your cheeks began to burn furiously and you tried to brush off the compliment as nothing. It only made Loki’s smile grow. “See, there you go blushing again.”

You gave him a deadpan look. “You’re one to talk, pretty boy.”

“I think I preferred giggling moron.” He took your hand in his and started to lead you into the palace. Thankfully, no guards were on duty in the halls you walked. It may not have been luck so much as Loki knowing exactly what routes would be guard-free.

“You sure you wouldn’t want to take this night in another direction?” asked Loki, leaning against the wall with your hands in his.

“As much as I would want to, my dear brother is probably driving himself insane searching for a lady to suit me,” you said with a roll of your eyes. Loki remained quiet, fiddling with your fingers. “What? Don’t tell me you’re jealous.”

Loki scoffed, very clearly offended. “I am certainly not envious of some simple minded fool!”

Your eyes widened, a surprised laugh escaping you. “Oh my lord, you definitely are!” You took his hands and began to kiss his knuckles. “Do not worry, you’re the only asshole for me.”

He tried to hide his smile and turned to the door. “You’re terrible,” he muttered, opening the door and holding it for you.

You smiled — he made a point of avoiding your gaze — and leaned in to whisper in his ear as you passed, “Only for you, my darling.”

He took hold of your wrist, stopping your tracks. "I lied," he said. When you gave him a clueless look he cleared his throat. "When I said no one was looking at you, I lied. I was looking at you. I've always been looking at you, y/n."

Maybe getting involved with the God of Mischief wouldn’t be such a bad idea after all, you thought with a smile.

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springdandelixn · 1 year

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Missed Chances and Broken Promises - Part III

Summary: Choices have been made and the consequences must be endured.

Warnings: Angst—that’s my warning

Characters: Loki x F!Reader

A/N: It's snowing in February. How weird is that? Haha Stay warm, babies and just a little note, this fic was inspired by LANY's song Up to Me.

p.s. This is a continuation of my Loki University AU fics Secret Serenade and Study Buddy.

Your feedback and reblogs would be very much appreciated. Enjoy! ❤️

A year and five months. That’s how long it has been since Loki has seen his friends.

A year and five months. That’s how long it has been since he left you crying in your apartment.

He never should have opened Vision’s message. Never should have allowed his curiosity to win over his judgment. He was very much aware of the reunion Steve and Sam had planned for their friend group, Thor pestering him every chance he got to coax him into attending.

Loki chose to stay away, chose to do what was best for the people who have chosen to shun him after your break up. But most of all, he chose what he thought was best for him for he wouldn’t know what to do if he ever saw you again, wouldn’t know what to say or react if you ever did decide to speak to him.

Your eyes begin to bore into his head, puffy and full of tears as you begged for him to stay, telling him how much you loved him and wished it was enough. But he’s made his decision and it led to him walking out of your apartment and your life. He could still hear your cries then from beyond the wooden barrier, how the anger rolled off of you as you cursed at his name and soon followed him out and shoved him from behind.

“I never want to see you fucking face again, you coward!” The last words you gave him before shutting him out of your life.

His hand tightens around the glass when he picks up his phone, a heavy breath escaping his lips when he opens Vision’s text again and stares down at the image he attached for Loki to witness. Everyone looked so happy, even Natasha who rarely showed a smile was doing such, her arms wrapped around an older man he’s never seen before.

But what takes his attention the most is the sight of your face. A wide smile kissing your lips as you stared at the camera, both your arms wrapped around Thor and Wanda respectively while they hug you from each of your sides. You still looked the same, just the way he remembers, how he wants to remember you; happy and carefree, the woman he fell deeply in love with.

Loki fights the urge to ask Vision about you, to ask if you’re already seeing someone new or if you finally got the job you’ve been working so hard to get. And he almost does, already tapping on his phone and composing a message to convey his thoughts to his best friend. But he only stops when Clarice’s name pops up on the screen, the silence of his office disturbed by the annoying ringtone.

He’s been dodging her calls since yesterday, telling her more of his lies about preparing for a business merger that his father asked him to present. Yet the truth of it is that he wants to be left alone while he wallows in his misery and shields her further from the guilt that continues to claw out of him. As he no longer thinks he can continue keeping up the charade of a loving partner.

He should feel guilty for what he’s doing, and he does, but even if he wants to save her from a loveless life ahead, he can’t. He made his bed and he has no other option than to sleep on it for he knows that the cost of his happiness would all be worth it in the end, especially knowing that he’s done his parents, most of all his mother, proud. Right?

He sighs when his phone finally goes silent, deleting his message altogether before turning off the device and shoving it in his drawer. No more distractions, he scolds himself and slouches against his chair, swirling the contents of his glass before finishing it one gulp and succumbing to the task of sorting out his thoughts, and most of all, his emotions.

Clarice is a fantastic woman; gentle, caring, and very much selfless in almost everything she does. He’s even bared witness to such traits when he accompanied her to a charity ball once, pledging a generous donation to an orphanage that wants to help their unadopted children adjust to society, even showing excitement when she was invited to meet the children herself.

She’s also a great lover, a giver if Loki would put a label on it, showing such desire just to please him and show him that she’s attentive of his needs. It prompts Loki to give back the same energy and try his best to love her the way that she does him.

But most of all, his mother adores her, probably even loves her more than her own children. A fact he’s proven when he formally introduced her to his family, the Lady Frigga overflowed with happiness that she began calling her ‘daughter’; the word constricting Loki’s heart, not out of joy, but of dread that his fate has already been sealed shut.

“She sounds like a great woman, beautiful too.” Thor’s words push to the forefront of his mind, their conversation during the small family reunion that night coming to life.

“She is.” Loki responds, indifference painting his face. “She helps in charities, too, just like her father.”

“Jonathan Richards, right?” Thor inquires. “The one who owns the country club mother frequents?”

“The very one.” Loki drones, his eyes darting across the hall to look at his mother doting on Clarice. But his ears pique up and his attention is pulled all the same when Thor utters your name, his eyes focusing on this brother and feeling the air around them growing tense. “What about her?”

“Have you talked to her? Or seen her recently?” His brother asks but all Loki could do is look away and busy himself with his drink.

“I—I haven’t,” Loki admits and wills himself to keep a stoic facade. “She didn’t handle my departure well and she was very clear that she never wanted to see me again.”

“You broke her heart, brother.” Thor says defensively yet calmly. “She—maybe you two could still work things out. I know you still love her and I know she does too.”

“Why do you seem so adamant about it?” Loki says, the irritation rolling through his tongue. “We’re over brother. That’s the reality. I’m with Clarice now and I’ve never seen mother so happy about any woman I’ve been with, only her.” He sighs and shakes his head before looking up at Thor seriously. “I’ve moved on and I know she has too, so it’s best that you do as well because whatever frivolous dreams you have of us getting back together, it will never happen—just let it go.”

“Okay—I won’t bother you anymore about it.” Thor concedes, holding his hands up in surrender. “But I just want to ask you one last thing.”

Loki groans and rolls his eyes before facing his brother once more. “What is it?”

“Yes, mother is happy, maybe even father,” Thor begins. “But are you?”

Until now, he still thinks of Thor’s question that night, haunting him, mocking him and makes him question himself if he’s truly made the right decision. And each time, he finds himself reeling back in and going through the list of why he should be with Clarice, why she’s the better choice.

Gentle.

Kind.

Beautiful.

Selfless.

His mother loves her.

He keeps trying to look for something wrong that would completely put him off of her, but ultimately, there’s nothing—except for one.

She's not you.

The ringing of a phone startles Loki awake, eyes squinting as he tries to push away the sleep, seeing darkness shrouding the entirety of his office. He looks at his office phone, the red light blinking continuously as the ringing continues to echo throughout the space. He thinks it’s Clarice, looking for him again and decides to send it to voicemail, but it’s Thor’s name that shows up on the screen instead, surprising him and causing him to answer the call.

Muffled music plays in Thor’s background along with indistinct chatter, Loki grunting as he imagines his brother wasting away at a club and still acting more like a college student than a grown man. He winces when he hears his brother burp a greeting, Loki rolling his eyes afterwards as he waits for an opening to answer back.

“Are you drunk, brother?” He asks.

“Maybe—a little.” Thor gurgles. “Loki, looooki, I have wonderful news to tell you,”

“Where the hell are you, Thor?” Loki groans in irritation. “Are you calling because you need a ride home?”

“No—no, no, no,” Thor slurs then laughs loudly, his attention seemingly getting pulled by someone. “I just wanted to tell you something about…”

He says your name and immediately, Loki stills, his chest tightening once more just from the utterance of your name. He swallows thickly and stands from his seat, pacing by his desk as he feels his pulse quicken by the second.

What does he have to say? Why now of all days? His mind races, the possibility endless that whatever Thor would tell him would break his heart. So he decides, then and there that he should completely cut ties with you, that he shouldn’t even know an inkling of what has become of your life to avoid his from further derailing.

“No, Thor. Whatever it is, I don’t want anything to do with it.” He says sternly.

“But—”

“I said no!” He’s almost shouting and he feels he’s startled his brother when he goes quiet. But it’s too late for him to reel back now, his emotions spiking immensely and his sanity spiraling into oblivion. “I told you I’ve moved on and that I’m happy with Clarice. Why can’t you accept the fact that nothing will ever happen between her and I any longer?! Why are you so fucking caught up in our lives when you should be busy fixing yours?”

“Loki—”

“Father wanted you to run the family business but I’m the one carrying the weight of it because you refuse to grant his wishes! It should be you looking for a suitable wife, not me! Yet there you are, partying with your friends and it’s like none of you even grew up!”

He fumes, all the pent-up sorrow and pressure from the expectations surrounding him bursting all at once. He grabs the tumbler sitting idly on his desk and throws it across the room, glass shattering and scattering against his marble floor.

“We’re no longer in college, brother and you better start getting your shit together!” He shouts.

Silence once more fills the call and Loki sighs, slumping back into his seat, pressing his fingers against his temple to try to quell the anger within him.

“I’m sorry—” Thor murmurs, his drunken state seemingly subsiding from the onslaught of Loki’s rage and Loki could feel his heart soften for his brother. “I just—”

“It’s alright, brother. You’re drunk.” Loki states before letting out a deep breath. “Just—call me when you get home and please, for the love of god, drink some water.”

“I will. Thank you, Loki.”

Before he could even respond, Thor drops the call, the sound of the dial tone filling his ears. He places the receiver back and stands from his seat, walking over to where he threw the glass and picking up the shards from the ground. He went overboard and he shouldn’t have shouted at his brother for the choices he made. It wasn’t his fault and yet he’s throwing the blame his way.

Regret begins swirling within him as his heart decides to go against his head, and the desire to know what Thor was going to tell him about you begins to eat at him. But maybe, it’s for the best, he tells himself, that I don’t know. He’s already a few steps out of the gutter and knows he has to resist any temptation to completely set himself free.

I no longer keep a tag list but if you want to be kept updated on my fics, follow my side blog @springdandelixn-archives and turn on notifications.

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lokiusly · 2 months

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what if in Deadpool 3, the camera pans to Mobius' cubicle and it's now a vacant desk, completely empty.

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lokiprompts · 1 year

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Burning Words - Loki X Reader

Summary: Loki is terrified to tell you that he loves you, but a whispered confession in the dark throws him for a loop.

Warnings: Pining. Some self deprecating thoughts. Otherwise pure fluff.

Words: 3.2k Exactly!

Joining in on the 14 Days of Valentines Event hosted by @muddyorbsblr!! This was supposed to be more crack, but after a rough week, we got ourselves a comforting Loki fic <3

Those three precious and meaningful words burned in Loki’s throat. Every day for months they threatened to bubble up from his chest and burst forth like a tidal wave he was happy to drown in. To scream his undying and relentless affection for you from the highest rooftops; to openly profess that you laid claim to his heart as much as he had yours.

I love you

Every little thing you did threatened to have the god bursting out declarations and weaving endless sonnets of adoration. From the way your hands were always dwarfed by his yet fit so perfectly together. How you always knew to give him that reassuring squeeze when his insecurities started to creep into his chest. And how you looked at him like he hung the sun, the moon, and the stars as if he didn’t commit gross atrocities to your home planet. But it was your endless patience, unconditional understanding, and constant reassurance that he was worthy that made his heart tumble from like to love.

Yet, as each day passed, those three words died on his tongue as soon as he gathered a fraction of nerve to confess. As soon as you looked at him with your wide eyes, filled with a reverence for him he could never begin to truly understand, all his resolve would falter. Every insecurity that ever flitted through his mind would instantly dissolve his confidence like salt in water, leaving him parched for your acceptance and praise. And each time you would quench his need like the oasis you were. Endlessly filling his cup and building up a king who would never receive a crown.

It tormented him every night.

And this night was no different. You laid nestled in his arms, holding him as if he was the one true anchor of your life. It was a fact that you always insisted on, one of many that Loki would playfully debate with you. But there was always an underlying subtext of self-doubt in his banter that would make you hold him that much tighter. Like your embrace could scare away his insecurities and doubts and each time, Loki would soak up your affection like a dry sponge.

Loki’s arms held you close, the steadiness of his heart beating in your ear easily lulling you to sleep. This part of the night was always the god’s favorite. Due to his…biology, he didn’t need as much sleep as you, his precious mortal. It was the perfect time to greedily bask in your warmth and press lingering kisses into your hair, whispering promises that tomorrow would be the day he finally tells you his heart’s secret. And every once and awhile, Loki would find himself in the peaceful place of almost slumber. A semi restful place devoid of nightmares and only the feeling of you.

I love you…

The words were spoken so softly, so quietly that at first, he thought that he might have dreamed it, but it was enough for Loki to shoot his eyes open. He looked down at you, and you seemed to still be sleeping. Is it possible? Loki wondered, Could you have said…?

“Darling…?” Loki carefully whispered, testing your wakefulness, “Did you say something?”

A shudder traveled through your body as his velvety voice caressed your ear, a reminder of the effect he had on you that had Loki smirking. Yet, your eyes remained closed.

The idea of fishing through your mind to see if it was a dream of you confessing your love to him or to your beloved cheesecake – or worse to a romantic interest that wasn’t him- was the god of mischief’s second approach. You had given him carte blanche to access your mind; a gift that still astonishes him to this day.

I trust you, Loki. I know you will only use it if you absolutely must. Sweet girl, you trusted him so much. More than what he deserved. And for a fleeting moment, there was a twinge of guilt as his hand glowing emerald with dancing seidr hovered above the crown of your head. But the need to know ultimately placed his hand on your skull. Years of magic threaded through the fibers of your brain and pulled at your recent memories. Loki stifled a groan when he did not find anything there. No dreams that remained and no clues about those sweet words that escaped your lips.

Perhaps I dreamed it, Loki thought to himself, but just as that thought passed through his mind, he steeled his resolved. Curiosity burned through him and drove him to give your shoulders a little shake.

“Darling?” He not so carefully whispered this time. The endearment coming out more like a hushed yell. Your jostling made you shuffle a bit, but you only snuggled in closer and let out a content sigh as your nose brushed against the pale skin of his chiseled chest. The little gesture made Loki’s heart swell, and he almost reconsidered his next move. Almost.

He shook you more forcefully this time, jolting you awake.

“Huh? What’s going on?” You looked around the still dark bedroom, bleary eyes finally focusing on Loki, “Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare?”

Guilt instantly washed over him. “No, sweet girl, I am perfectly fine…” Heat flooded his face, praying to the Norns that you couldn’t see the blush you constantly teased him about, “You, uh, had said something. I was wondering….”

Loki chewed his lip as he looked down at you; the perfect being who patiently waited to hear the reason why you were woken from your sweet slumber without a hint of anger or resentment.

“I was wondering if you – if you – if you would care to repeat it?” Loki hated how small he sounded, but he needed to know.

You scrunched your nose in confusion, and Loki resisted the urge to bend down and kiss it, “Huh? I am sorry, Loki, but I don’t remember saying anything. Was I talking in my sleep?”

The sight of you sleepily letting out a little yawn and apologizing to him, even though he was the one that woke you, had those three words laying heavy on his tongue. Every bit of his heart screamed to simply speak the words to you, and he yearned even more for you to echo those words back to him.

“No,” Loki sighed, stroking your hair, “I must have been mistaken. Go back to sleep, Darling.” You smiled at him and leaned up, kissing the corner of his mouth as if you knew what he longed to say. Like you could simply survive off the taste of the words on his lips until he felt ready to utter them.

Soon enough, you fell back asleep, and Loki was left alone to stew in his regret and confusion. If only he could hear you say those words again, he would know if they were truly for him…

The smell of fresh breakfast wafting into your shared bedroom had your nose twitching in anticipation, enough to draw you out of a restful sleep. Stretching out on the large bed, you only felt the softness of your sheets and not the firmness of your god. Your prince. Your love. A gleeful smile easily grew on your face as you realized he must have made you breakfast. The best meal of the day.

As if on cue, Loki burst into the bedroom with a beaming smile that mirrored your own, holding a tray with all your favorite breakfast goodies. When you saw the food, you immediately perked up, sitting up in bed, and your enthusiasm made Loki’s chest puff with pride. You always appreciated all the things he did for you, no matter how big or small, and he lived for the thrill of your joy.

“What have you brought me, my prince?” You chirped. The way you always called him ‘yours’ made his heart flutter endlessly.

“Breakfast in bed for, my princess.” Loki grinned back, placing the tray in your awaiting lap, “I recall that it is your favorite. I tried to include all of the things you enjoy….pancakes, eggs, fruit… a little bit of everything for you, Darling.”

“Oh!” Your cheeks flushed an adorable rosy color, making those three words ignite in his throat yet again, “This is wonderful, Loki! These are all my favorites! Thank you!”

Excitedly, you started to gobble down the delicious meal in front of you. Loki looked on with equal parts happiness and hesitance on his face.

“Do you like it?” He started, trying to choose his words carefully. You nodded your head eagerly, wiping a bit of syrup from the corner of your mouth making the god laugh.

“Yes, I like it! It’s amazing!” You quickly speared a piece of cantaloupe on your fork and popped it into your mouth as if to prove your point.

Loki looked down at his lap where his fingers played with a piece of lint that was on his loose hanging sweatpants, “But you don’t love it?” The crystal blue orbs that you adored so much did everything to avoid your eyes, but even without seeing you knew insecurity swam in them. A gentle hand covered his, the softness of your skin against his warrior calluses always serving as a stark reminder of how innocent you were and how monstrous.

“Oh, Loki, I love it.” As soon as the word left your honeyed lips, Loki’s eyes shot to yours. All he saw reflected at him was warmth and tenderness, a sense of home that he felt every time he looked at you. The way you spoke the word sounded familiar, like it could have been what you spoke in the night, yet it still wasn’t quite right. There was something….missing that he couldn’t quite put his finger on.

He leaned forward and kissed your lips, delighting how you immediately wrapped an arm around his neck and tangling your fingers in his hair. With a playful tug of his tresses, you deepened the kiss. He groaned as he tasted the syrup that remained on your tongue- your taste, your essence, making it that much sweeter. Slowly, he pulled away, make sure to savor every drop of you.

“The sweetest treat there is.” He grinned.

The rest of the morning and afternoon was restoring. A perfect, lazy day entangled in each other’s arms. Your back was pressed against Loki’s chest and each of you held your individual books. The words flowed easily off the page as your eyes darted back and forth, but Loki found himself simply turning his pages for show while he quietly observed you. The little movements of your mouth as you silently spoke choice phrases, the gasps as you read something shocking, and the blood that rushed to your ears when you came upon a particularly erotic scene – all made Loki more entranced by you and more hopelessly in love.

“Darling?” He started carefully, much like this morning and the night before. You only hummed in response, still caught up in the story of your book.

“How long as it been since you spoke to your friend? The one you grew up with?”

That made you drop your book and look up at Loki in confusion, “It’s been a while. Why do you ask?”

You felt him shrug behind you before pretending to peek back at his book, “I just recall you enjoy speaking with them. Perhaps you should catch up sometime.” The comment was innocent, but it was enough to plant a seed in your mind. Sure enough, later in the day, you had picked up the phone to call your dear friend.

Loki stayed perched on the sofa, still pretending to read while you paced the room with your phone in hand and pressed to your ear. Fervently, you spoke to your longtime friend. The joy spilling from your lips making Loki’s mouth twitch at the corners. Every detail of your lives was shared, and laughter echoed all around the room. Loki would never tire of the sound of your laugh. Eventually, you said your goodbyes and turned to your lover with a content smile.

“I am so glad you reminded me to call them, Loki! It was great catching up.” But your smile faded as soon as you saw your prince’s frown. Quickly, you sat next to him on the couch and cupped his face with your hand.

“What’s wrong, Loki?”

Loki swallowed thickly, the sweet smell perfume bringing a fresh wave of butterflies to his stomach, “It is quite silly, really.”

You smiled so sweetly at him, it made his heart clench, “Try me.”

He avoided your eyes for the second time today, “You didn’t say you loved them when you said goodbye on your communication device. You always have before when you spoke to them. Is that…do you not care for your friend, anymore?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that escaped your throat, but you pulled Loki in close for a reassuring hug, “Oh, of course I love them! It must have slipped my mind.” You pulled away just enough, so you could press your forehead against his. The comfort from the closeness of your body and your mere presence brought him was already threatening to rip those three words straight from his chest once more.

“I’ll call them right now to tell them…” You tilted your head and left a lingering kiss on his forehead. The new agonizing ache in his heart lingering along with it.

Just as you said, you picked up your cell phone and called back your friend who immediately answered, as evident by your wide smile.

“Hey, I just forgot to tell you that I love you!” You smiled a bit wider as Loki guessed your friend repeated the sentiment back to you. The god tried to ignore the burning jealousy that started to well up within him when he heard you say those three words he so desperately wanted to say, so easily and to another no less. The only thing that gave him solace was the fact that much like this morning, this ‘I love you’ wasn’t the same he supposedly heard last night. Something was off about it. A missing puzzle piece he couldn’t quite solve.

The jealousy that coursed through his body and took a violent hold of his heart and his mind told him that you must have been dreaming of someone else. A person you pined for in secret when you were alone in your shared bed, awaiting Loki to join you in the late-night hours. Someone you desperately desired. Someone who was worthy of that desire.

“Loki, you have to tell me what’s wrong.” Loki hadn’t noticed that you hung up with your friend, only to join him back on the couch. The look of sincere concern almost had him cracking, but being stubborn as ever, he held fast.

“I am quite alright, Darling, I assure you.” He flashed you a tight-lipped smile that definitely didn’t reach his eyes. You gripped his hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze, reminding him of how you always knew when to comfort him. The ache in his heart grew tenfold, and he kept his eyes trained on his lap. Anything to avoid looking you in the eyes and facing the fact that you didn’t love him back.

“Loki…” The brokenness of your voice was the only reason why he lifted his head. Tears welled in the corner of your eyes and still, you gripped his hand like it was your lifeline, “You have been avoiding looking at me all afternoon. I know something is wrong. You tell me everything, Loki.”

You cupped Loki’s cheek with your free hand, and he leaned into the comfort of your palm, “Why won’t you tell me?”

Loki desperately wanted to tell you why he was acting so strangely. That he may have heard you whisper the words ‘I love you’ in the dark, and now it plagued his mind, and it was all he could think about. How he regretted not being able to confess his love for you every day for months on end due to his own cowardice and his own insecurities.

The tears in your eyes threatened to spill over when Loki didn’t answer you. The silence between you two was deafening and so different from the affectionate god you grew to love. Loki saw the wetness of your eyelashes, evidence of sorrow that should never be there, let alone placed there by him. Every day he vowed to be a source of happiness and comfort for you. A place of peace within the chaos like, you were to him. To be your home.

As soon as your first tear fell, the words tumbled from Loki’s mouth before he could stop them.

“I love you.”

Even though they were rushed from his mouth, each syllable conveyed endless promises of devotion and reverence. The promise that you were the treasure of his heart and something so precious that he would burn worlds to ensure your happiness.

A flurry of emotions swept across your face. At first, there was a look of confusion, then disbelief, and then pure joy.

“You, uh, what?”

Loki had imagined this moment for months, and the one thing he did not expect was to feel instant regret. The need to run away was overwhelming, and his heart hammered in his chest. He swallowed hard, looking away from you yet again.

“Please, don’t make me say it again.” The god that towered over many, the god who made the world kneel was only the frail fragment of an unsure boy.

Your hand never left his cheek, and your thumb rubbed the sharp edges of his cheekbones with soothing strokes. Tenderly, you coaxed his head to turn and for him to look at you once again.

“Please, Loki.” You leaned closer until your breath caressed his face with your pleading whispers, “Say it again.”

Tears began to brim his eyes as his ripped out his tortured heart and presented it to you. An offering to his goddess.

“I love you, Y/N.” The words were surer this time, but still breathless with the anxiety of your reply. A happy watery laugh bubbled up from your chest and your other hand was quick to now cup both sides of his face, ensuring that he wouldn’t turn away from you and hide.

“I love you too, Loki.”

It instantly was familiar. The tone. Each syllable. It was exactly like the sweet words that he thought were spoken last night. Loki quickly mirrored your happiness and was just as quick to capture your lips in a desperate kiss. Every movement of his mouth, every caress carried all the confessions of love that died on his lips and haunted him. The words flowed just as freely from you, as they did from him, and it was in that moment he realized why all of your other ‘I love you’s’ were not the same. Why the one spoken in the middle of the night, in his sweet embrace was so different.

That one was just for him.

------------------------------

Unicorns 🦄: @ozymdias , @lovely-maryj, @multifandom-worlds

@buttercupcookies-blog @fictive-sl0th. @meowmeow-motherfucker @tallseaweed @ladymischief11

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loki-cees-all · 5 months

Note

Hello and hi, my lovely!

I have this scenario for you that I sometimes think about.

How would Loki react if you (the mortal he might have feelings for but he’s not quite certain yet) were the only one to acknowledge his birthday? Maybe you put up a few balloons and even buy him a little cupcake with a candle on it? How would he react?

Happiest of birthdays to you! You’re a joy to know!! I love you!! 🩷🩷🩷🩷🩷

Cupcake For a God {Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader}

Cee's Loki Fic Masterlist / AO3 Link

Pairing : Avengers!Loki x Avengers!Reader

Summary : Loki’s birthday is approaching, and it forces himself to reconcile who he wants to be versus who he actually is, and to reflect on his almost certainly unrequited feelings for you.

But what if the feelings weren’t unrequited?

W/c : 1.9k words

Content/Warnings : Angst, a bit of fluff

Author's Note : I swear I tried so hard to make this not so angsty! Please forgive me, Saz! 😭😭😭

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

There were a lot of things for Loki to dislike about living on Midgard.

For starters, he was being forced to live there, inside Stark Tower with the other Avengers as penance for his crimes. It was only fitting, they’d told him, that he should assist in their efforts to keep the mortals safe because he was the reason they needed protecting in the first place.

Loki didn’t bother telling them what Thanos had done to him after he fell from the Bifrost; truthfully, he still didn’t quite understand it himself. That entire year was a blur to him - a painful concoction of lies and manipulations and tears and blood that left him unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction, even almost two years after the torture had began.

He didn’t want anyone to know how weak he was, about how much he’d lost himself. If they knew how vulnerable he was, they might decide he wasn’t worth the trouble and send him to the dungeons of Asgard instead.

Another thing he disliked was the forced pleasantries and unnecessary rituals humans had developed with each other, and by extension, him. The humans would smile as they past him by on the street, but it was a falsity every time; the sentiment never reached their eyes, and Loki could smell their fear from several blocks away.

Loki knew they didn’t actually care how his day was going, that their concern only went as far as making sure he wasn’t on the verge of invading with another alien force under his command. He wasn’t, but honestly, if it meant everyone kept their distance, then he wasn’t going to argue with it.

It wasn’t fair to say that Loki preferred being alone, but he was certainly used to it, and that was in direct contradiction of the forced socialization he had to endure on Midgard - press conferences, team building exercises (which Loki believed was just an excuse to consume copious amounts of food and drink), training sessions, something called “movie nights”, and missions across the world to dismantle S.H.I.E.L.D.’s various bunkers and bases.

It was so much talking, and even more listening. So much lying and pretending that everything was fine, that Loki didn’t feel like a caged monster, and that everyone else wasn’t waiting for the littlest thing to completely set him off.

But Loki was trying as hard as he could to ignore the dull ache that haunted his dreams and every waking moment. He knew he had hurt people, he knew he needed to make up for his grievous transgressions, but he didn’t know how else to make up for it all. So he pressed on, through the discomfort and awkwardness, in the hope that one day everything might become a little easier.

The one bright side to all of this, the one shimmering ray of light amidst the sea of gray, was you. Loki didn’t quite know what to make of his attraction to you - was it real, or was it just your absence of fear in his presence? Had it just been too long since he’d felt the touch of another, or were you actually everything he’d ever wanted?

Loki almost didn’t want to find out, in case it wasn’t real. Because your smile reached your eyes every time you looked at him, and your laughter was like sparks blowing across the embers of a dying fire…but he couldn’t shake the fear that it could just be another trick.

Perhaps his mind still hadn’t fully recovered from Thanos’ torture. Maybe Thor had put you up to this, as a way of making assimilation easier for him.

Because why else would you look at him like that? Why would you go out of your way to sit next to him during the team’s movie nights? Why else would you lean towards him on the couch and fall asleep against the shoulder of a villain, of a monster, of a fool?

It was stupid, and pointless, and illogical, and just like him to irrationally want something he couldn’t ever have. He was a God, and you were a mortal, and it would ultimately end in heartache either way. So while he had the chance, Loki forced himself to remain content and to just linger in the question of what if you could want him too.

The final thing about Midgard, and the one he despised the most, was the mortal obsession with birthdays. Loki was grateful the Asgardians never paid any attention to such silly and exhausting traditions - which was surprising, considering how much Asgardians loved frivolity.

So he really shouldn’t have been shocked when Thor discovered, and subsequently fell in love with, the concept of birthdays. His brother immediately requested his mortal companion Jane to perform the necessary calculations to determine the Midgardian equivalent of Thor’s birthdate - and Loki’s as well, which his brother gleefully announced to the entire team and embarrassed him to the deepest pits of his soul.

A massive celebration was planned for Thor, with enough food and drink to sustain a small country, and on the special night, flashing lights and loud music bathed the massive common room of Stark Tower in merriment and laughter. Everyone was invited, and it would have been rude for Loki to not make an appearance - but it wasn’t because he wanted to admire you in your party dress, although that was a very lovely bonus.

But as gorgeous as you looked - the longer the party went on, the sadder Loki became. Everyone was talking, smiling, and dancing, congratulating Thor on his many accomplishments and swapping happy stories of all the good times they’d had together. It was painful to witness, to know for a fact that no such party would be happening for himself when his birthday rolled around.

Loki tried telling himself that he didn’t want it, and that he’d be miserable during it. He tried convincing himself that it would be too loud, and too bawdy, and vain, and that he didn’t need other people’s reassurances that they were happy he was there with them. He told himself he didn’t need it at all, that he was completely fine without it. But it was a lie, so of course it didn’t work.

As the days approached to Loki’s birthday, he became even more withdrawn than usual. With the exceptions of necessary missions or training, he stopped leaving his room. He was silent during travel on the Quinjet, and refused your invitations to further movie nights, even though the disappointment on your face ripped him apart in ways he’d never experienced before.

He felt like he deserved to suffer, to collapse in on himself like a dying star because he knew he’d never be worthy of the love and attention his older brother seemed to collect so effortlessly. It wasn’t Thor’s fault; it was just Loki’s lot in life. And the further he receded, the more likely his heartache would be justified, and he couldn’t be surprised if he was already disappointed.

The evening of his birthday was the worst night he’d experienced in a long time, not since the day he let go of the Bifrost. Loki didn’t even come out of his room for dinner that night, choosing instead to feast on pain, and anguish, and regret, and all the feelings he hadn’t ever had the time to process over his thousand years of existence.

Thor tried several times to lure him out of his room, to no avail. Loki wouldn’t leave - no, he couldn’t leave. He couldn’t bring himself to witness the fact that they’d done nothing special for him, even though he’d be furiously uncomfortable if they did.

As the hours passed, he tried to distract himself with sleep, and then reading, but neither did the trick. Eventually, he curled up on the window seat of his private quarters, wrapped himself in furs and pressed his forehead against the glass, watching the tiny little mortals going about their nights in blissful ignorance of the god suffering fifty floors above them.

And Loki was so lost that he could barely respond to the cautious knock on his door, the one that threatened to pull him away from his misery. But his heart leapt in his throat when he heard your voice calling his name, and he wanted so much to let you in, to feel you next to him.

But the urge to say something cruel, to push you away and continue on alone, was just as strong. Loki didn’t know which to concede to, even as his feet slowly carried him to the door. He didn’t know what he was going to say, even while his fingers raked through his messy curls and rubbed the pain from his eyes.

He felt ridiculous as he hesitated to open the door; he was a God, and once the most fearsome villain this entire planet had ever seen - but here he was, nervous and split open and too raw to simply open a door and look upon a beautiful woman while he was hiding away from his birthday.

There was a soft rustling sound on the other side of the door, and Loki’s forehead rested against the wood as he heard your footsteps quietly retreating down the hallway. He’d waited too long, paralyzed by his self-indulgent indecision, and it had pushed you away.

He thought about yanking the door open and calling after you. He considered begging for you to come back. He desperately wanted to wrap his arms around you and to pull you closer, but all he could manage was to gently pull the door open after he was sure you were gone.

On the floor of the hallway, waiting patiently and comfortably for him, was a beautifully-decorated cupcake and a note resting on a small paper plate. A single candle rose out of the emerald and sapphire swirls of frosting, and the pink paper was folded in half, with his name written in the loveliest cursive on the outside.

Loki fought back tears as he retrieved the gift from the floor, and he cautiously balanced the plate in one hand while holding the note in the other.

Hey Loki,

I know birthdays are hard; they’re hard for me too. But hopefully this treat makes you smile, even just for a second.

I’ll be awake for a little while longer - stop by my room if you need to talk. I promise I won’t find it weird :)

XOXO

P.S. I’m really glad you’re here, even if you’re not ready to accept that yet.

He swallowed hard as he stared at the most generous gift he’d ever received. He didn’t know if you even fully understood what you’d just done for him. He fervently wanted to go after you, and he desperately wanted to continue hiding.

But you’d extended an invitation, one he could feasibly take you up on. No one would argue it wasn’t in his right to do so. And Gods above, he wanted to, more than anything else he’d ever wanted. But would it be worth it, or would it just make everything worse?

Loki tore his damp and heavy eyes away from the note and glanced up and down the hallway. He shut his door, just as quietly as he’d opened it, wondering if it would be a mistake to allow his heart guide him to where he’d rather be.

⊱ ── ༓ ── ⋅•⋅⊰ ── ⋅ ∙ ∘ ☽ ༓ ☾ ∘ ∙ ⋅ ── ⊱⋅•⋅ ── ༓ ── ⊰

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lokisgoodgirl · 6 months

Text

A Cunning Plan: The Lakes [Loki x Reader]

The Lakes Masterlist / Regular Masterlist Summary: (5) Loki has been doing some heavy mulling. Something's brewing, and it isn't tea. Warnings: Minors DNI. Language. Smut references. Mild angst. Humour. Pining. Ex-Loki. Satchelnanigans. Cunning plans. (w/c 4.7k) Recommended Folklore Track: The Lakes

The night before had passed with an unnerving air of normalcy.

Loki didn’t speak much, but you could feel the unmistakable weight of him absorbing everything as it unfolded around him. He maintained a quiet distance. Marinating a monologue, perhaps.

You had a feeling it would come to harvest, eventually.

Something hung in the air among the domestic clink of cutlery and quiet apologies as the men squeezed around each other in the cottage. The rabbits were stewed, and much to Steve’s reluctant admission– were delicious. Loki had even taken a substantial loss in Monopoly that evening with uncharacteristic good grace. He and Thor hadn’t even fought over the little dog. And then, he had turned in early. What had passed between you that day – the rescue, the kiss, the supermarket…

His silence, you came to realise, was a blessing. A gift. If one which was grudgingly given. You had heard the low creak of his footsteps above in the living room as Steve diligently packed each playing card away face down.

He’s putting the condoms on Steve’s pillow, you thought with a wry smile. The captain looked up, oblivious.

“What’s got you in high-cotton?” Steve had asked curiously.

“Nothing,” you’d lied, scooting closer to the fire.

When the three of you had traipsed upstairs in single file and bid goodnight – Loki’s door had been closed. But you had heard his low, self-satisfied chuckle through the wall as the captain’s exasperated protestations travelled.

You wondered if Loki could hear your chuckle too. You hoped he could. When the four of you next met the chilled dawn air with bundled scarves and thick gloves, the sun was shining. Crisp, brilliant blue skies made the shade of Loki’s dark halo pop against the increasingly auburn skyline. When you had returned from your lesson, fingers numb and cheeks pink from the morning’s foraging, Loki ambled at the back of the group as usual.

You watched from ahead, seeing Thor and Steve huddled together whispering. They had been twitchy all morning, secretive smiles and hurried glances punctuating otherwise unremarkable commentary about mushrooms.

Loki was ten paces behind, a small basket slung over his arm. He walked slowly, picking up each specimen from his haul and inspecting it like a jewel. Checking every one twice. The Barbour jacket rustled around his thighs, waxed material creasing thickly as he drifted up the steep hill with effortless grace.

And now, the coats were hung on their usual pegs, a chirp of ‘don’t get too comfortable’ from Rogers making the hour break until the afternoon session shorten immeasurably. You closed your eyes, leaning against the kitchen door-frame while a couple of hunks of firewood fit snug under your arm. “Can I get you anything?” Loki murmured from the kitchen sink. You hadn’t noticed him standing there, hands in his pockets. The green scarf still hung around his neck, askew from where he’d yanked it.

In the following silence, his eyes ran questioningly over your features; the ghost of his question haunting the air. Only you, “No, thanks.” you offered weakly, beginning to un-loop your scarf before thinking better of it. “It’s colder in here,” he noted, followed by a sad smile. It pinched his dimples, but didn’t reach his eyes. “Lo-” you started. He turned back to the window. Sighing, you shuffled into the living room where Steve and Thor stood shoulder to shoulder by the fireplace. The scratch of a pen on paper was crisp over their hushed voices. Something told you it wasn’t sharing notes for the orienteering course this afternoon. The captain gave a cautious glance over his shoulder, jumping and nudging his accomplice in the ribs.

Thor coughed, hand flying to his mouth. He turned just as the final scrunched rag of paper sucked between his lips.

He chewed, smiling. “Hurr-oh Agen’” he mouthed, oblivious to Steve’s adjacent frown. Swallowing with difficulty, he leant back against the fireplace with zero finesse. “I didn’t see you there.” “What are you two up to?” you asked warily, crossing the room and emptying the bundle of wood in your arms to the scuttle. Steve’s eyes darted to the ceiling, avoiding Thor’s grin which spread at alarming speed. You decided that under the circumstances, you didn’t want to know.

The markers you’d set up were supposed to take four hours to complete, but between intermittent downpours and Thor’s affinity for one-sided conversations with wildlife – it had taken six. The team had done well, and you had tried to let them make their own way as much as possible over steep inclines and thick forest.

Squabbling had inevitably ensued. By the time the beleaguered band piled back into the cottage, flopping on sofas and armchairs and the ancient, creaking recliner – all you wanted to do was sleep for the rest of the trip. “Why don’t we start a fire outside?” Steve announced loudly. You groaned. The sun’s last licks of light flooded through the window, illuminating the cottage lounge in an amber shroud. Loki’s forearm draped over his eyes, punctuating the sentiment with a bitter sigh of discontent. “Why must you always be doing something, Rogers?” he lamented.

To your surprise, Thor snapped up on the seat– eyes bright. “Yes! Yes! We can use the...the..” he and Steve pointed to each other dramatically.

“The groove technique!” they quipped in sync. You and Loki’s sceptical eyes met. His peered beneath a thick jumper sleeve; yours only visible above the worn blanket. For some reason, it smelled of him. “How’s this?” Loki postured slowly as he stretched his ridiculously long legs over the armrest. They dangled. “You two, go make us proud outside...and we will recuperate the energy necessary to deal with the result.”

This seemed to please everyone. Out the window, you enjoyed the unfolding show of the super soldier and the god arguing as they managed to whittle the tools required. “They forgot the moss,” you sighed to yourself, as dark smoke began to waft from the stick between Steve’s thighs. “Norns, the moss!” Thor boomed seconds later, panicked limbs flapping as he ran to the outshed.

To your side, the radio began to play soft jazz of its own accord. “I cannot summon the strength to get up. Don’t tell them,” Loki murmured. His arm was still draped over his eyes.

“It was only walking,” you cooed playfully, craning to see if there was the hint of a smile. There wasn’t. “Not that kind of tired,” he replied quietly, tapping the tip of his cheekbone with one curled finger. Biting your lip, you realised you hovered on the precipice of another early night for the god. And, you found, you didn’t want that at all. It was dark outside, now. “You’re allowed to use magic, you know” you said cheerfully, attempting to shift the mood as you snuggled deeper into the thin blanket. The once familiar scent of myrrh and smoked pine needles filled your nostrils. Really, it was uncanny how much this blanket smelled like-

Loki scoffed. “I suppose. It just feels wrong here, somehow. Like I’m sullying something.” You frowned, holding the ragged edge of the blanket out in front of your eyeline. “Loki, did you use this blanket?” His head tilted to the side, suspicious gaze peering beneath the curl of his fingers. “Yes.” was the strained response. “I draped myself in it when I slept down here the night that I...well-” You couldn’t help the giggle which escaped. In all the years you’d known him, Loki wouldn’t be caught dead using something so unconducive to utter pleasure. The very idea was absurd. Furs and pelts and material so soft it made your fingertips tingle when you touched it. Bedsheets so luxuriously sensual that the sensation of them against the back of your thighs was foreplay. The rooms you shared together had been no different, aside from the occasional cushion cover you’d managed to sneak in – inevitably met with distaste and eventual disappearance from the rotation.

Not even Stark’s voluminous fleece blankets during movie night had been acceptable, Loki always had his own magical stash, much to the envy of the others.

You would snuggle into his chest beneath the weight of it, cushioned at every angle with the heavenly material and his safe hands wrapped tightly beneath. They worked their way beneath your sweaters, each feather-light graze of his fingertip against your skin a promise of what was to come. You shivered. “Is that funny?” he frowned. Hurt bubbled behind his irises, frothing. You shook your head.

“I just wouldn’t have thought…” you said quietly, pursing your lips as the god’s stormy demeanour slipped once more beneath his hand.

The vintage clock on the wall ticked.

“I’m going to check on the guys” you muttered.

Even the bitter chill of darkness which waited outside the cottage door, you had a feeling, would be warmer than this.

Nudged by your encouragement, the sparks created by Steve and Thor had become a healthy blaze.

Flame and smoke twisted upwards to the endless starry night, a miraculous lack of cloud making deep-rooted constellations sparkle.

The three of you perched on a tree trunk the blonde god had heaved over from the edge of the forest. Your chin rested on Thor’s shoulder as you gazed up at the navy sky. After a time, the cottage door slammed. Slow, purposeful footsteps announced Loki’s delayed arrival crunching over the path. Their beat made your heart quicken, its thump soaking into Thor’s puffer jacket.

He walked in front of you all, warming his hands on the fire. They rubbed together, long fingers twisting and locking before he held them up, palms outward. How they glowed, that fair skin luminescent in the fire’s kiss. “Would you give us a moment?” he said.

You could feel the shift on either side of your body as Thor and Steve looked at each other over your head. “Please,” he added coldly, absorbed in the flames. It wasn’t a request. Thor’s jacket hissed as he shuffled from the log, unwinding his arm from your shoulders.

“Yes, well - I have some...business to attend to,” he rumbled – casting another glance at Rogers. Even under the glow of firelight, you were sure the captain was blushing. “Right,” Steve said as he slapped his hands on his thighs. “I’ve been meaning to change the batteries in the ol’...flashlight. They’ve been on the blinkeroo.” With an awkward frown at their efforts, you continued to stare at the back of Loki’s head.

His hair was half tucked into the emerald scarf, dark wisps of wild curl spilling over the curve of his collar. His silhouette was breath-taking; legs wide, triangular and imposing in the caress of flame. If he had any inkling of the captain and his brother’s disappearance into the night, he didn’t show it.

Seconds passed at a crawl.

Sparks jumped and burst from the fire, crackling outward before sinking into darkness. Loki turned, wordlessly seating himself beside you on the tree trunk. You took a moment to look at him. Really look at him. The god pressed each of his fingertips in turn while his gaze was transfixed on the fire. His pupils followed the twisting flames that danced and licked against the night. The shapes pulsed against his cheekbones, a stray thread of hair blowing gently against his jaw. “I’m glad I brought this scarf,” he said quietly, staring ahead. Your eyes fell to the material wound around his neck that had barely left it since you’d arrived. You opened your mouth to speak, before closing it again. “I am sorry that I did not appreciate it-” he swallowed lightly, eyes flickering quickly to yours before looking away, “-when you gave it to me.” You rested a hand on his shoulder, patting gently. Even through the thick wax jacket, and the knitted jumper beneath; you could feel every curve of the muscle you once knew so well. Words turned to nothing in your mind, and somehow – you didn’t need them.

You let the hand fall, looking back to the fire. “Have I ever told you of the cabin?” he murmured, curling the rogue strand behind his ear.

You shook your head. He released a wry chuckle. “No, I suspected as much. I had forgotten it myself until my brother reminded me.” His eyes met yours, alive for the first time since yesterday at the supermarket. They swam with starlight, reflected galaxies spiralling in the smouldering darkness. “My father, well...Odin- built the Asgardian Palace, you know” he mused, running his hands down his thighs with a sigh. “But before that, few people know of where he and my mother resided.”

His voice was gentle, a story-tell lilt replacing the superior twang you had come to associate with his tales of Asgard. This one felt different.

Fighting the urge to tangle your fingers in his hair and mount him, you dug your hands further into your pockets.

“There was a cabin on Midgard. In Tromsø, or what would become Tromsø. It could not be seen other than when the midnight sun shone down beneath two clouds of red, and only the water whispered of it as it travelled through the land. Spoken of in hushed tones around great halls and campfires such as this. Some claimed to have seen it.”

He paused, letting the fire crackle. “Perhaps, some did,” he added quietly. Loki looked up at the exact moment you realised you were staring at him, a dreamy smile spread across your features.

“Before they became what they are to everyone else, they were…” Loki paused, licking his lips. “Different. They hunted, they foraged, they cast magic and made beautiful things for this realm with their kin under the cover of folklore and dreamscapes. They fell in love with each other, with everything. Before they were gods.” “Before?” you gasped quietly. Loki nodded. “All things have a beginning” he murmured, looking back to the flames.

“After the wars, and the taking of Asgard – there was a necessity to leave the cabin-that-had-no-place. And when Thor and I were young, they took us back every Asgardian summer, letting us run in long grass and wear rags and be free on the fjords and hillsides. We had no airs or graces, we played with local children – even flirted a little when we were of that age.” He smiled mischievously. It faded. “But those were different times. A different person, perhaps.”

Loki paused, brows peaking as he stared at the fire. “Or perhaps not.”

You blinked several times, looking away. Flames twisted and blew together as one. “Father gave us these hunting knives when we were sixteen, in your years” he said, an outstretched palm holding the blade. “The summer before our ceremonial inaugurations.”

It glinted in the fire’s glow.

“Uten røtter gjenstår ingenting” you chanted, running the pads of your fingertips over the blade’s inscription.

“Without roots, nothing remains” Loki hummed. “Ironic, considering all it transpired my father covered up. But not entirely without its merit.”

Your brow scrunched, wondering if you should say what you were thinking. “Yes?” he whispered. “Why are you telling me this?” Loki’s eyes tracked down the skim of your cheekbone, falling to your lips before swinging to the crackling fire. He grabbed a stick from the ground, poking the base.

“If I was that boy, once” he said thoughtfully, “then perhaps, there is hope for me. It felt important that I tell you that.” He twirled the stick between his fingers, catching a rogue ember between his tips before it landed on your lap. “I had forgotten him,” he murmured, rubbing the ash between his thumb and index finger. “I liked him.”

You leant your head silently on Loki’s shoulder, feeling his spine soften into the touch. His temple pressed against your hair.

“The thought of you and Thor chatting up poor local Norwegian girls is sending me a bit, you know” you muttered playfully. Loki’s quiet laugh was brighter than the fire.

You stayed like that, flames crackling.

Suddenly something caught your eye to the side, random flashes of white light which flickered on and off about fifty paces to the right.

You frowned, squinting into the darkness. Steve?

The light flickered again. Only the round of the captain’s pert ass was visible behind the tree. You were about to notify Loki to the strange sight when the sky lit up, an almighty crack shaking the air. Instinctively Loki covered your body with his, pressing you down into his lap. You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing for impact or sirens or the cries of a thousand rallying foes.

The god’s chest lay flush against your back, his breathing heavy as your mouth panted open against his thigh. You turned your head instinctually towards his body, cheek meeting the titanic bulge in his worn jeans. He pressed down further, caging you pressed between his thick trunk and thick-

“NORNS, DID YOU SEE THAT?” The thunder of Thor’s boots sounded against the stone path.

Loki’s breath fanned you ear as he rose, the feeling of his weight leaving bringing you back to reality. Turning, you saw thick smoke billowing into the night sky from the cottage, white against black. Loki jumped to his feet, clenching and unclenching his fists as Thor drew closer. He raked a hand through his hair, observing the unexpected scene with incredulity. Steve appeared, sidestepping closer to the muster as he spoke. “Oh gee, a lightening strike-” he said with unconvincing surprise. “I guess it happens! Thank goodness no one was inside.” The only sound was the crick of Loki’s neck as he edged it one side to another. “Brother,” he growled menacingly.

Thor laughed. “I know what you infer, but I do not know the origin of every strike of lightening. That is preposterous!” His eyes darted to the side, before falling guiltily back to Loki. “Global warming.” he added confidently while Steve nodded sagely beside him. The captain looked down at the flashlight in his hand, hiding it quickly behind his back.

Suddenly your eyes widened. “I think it hit my room.” Before you knew it, you were sprinting towards the cottage with the cries of the three men behind you. Their squabbling was white noise as you threw open the door and barrelled up the stairs. Everything you could see was eerily calm. Undisturbed.

The door to your bedroom swung open beneath cautious fingers. Your breath hitched.

The ceiling was open to the sky, a choking arid smell dissipating in the air. Tiles and smouldering ivy lay scattered around the room’s edge.

Your clothes? Sparse personal effects? Bed? Gone. Ash.

There was an unnatural circular hole in the floor where the lightening had landed, showing the far corner of the living room below.

“My chair!” Thor wailed from downstairs.

His plea was clean and crisp through the gaping hole in the floor. You heard his knees hit the carpet, followed by another thump you could only assume was his forehead.

“My chair,” he whined, quieter this time. “Oh, well done.” came Loki’s scathing response.

“So not only have you decimated one bedroom, but the common room too” Loki muttered venomously, pacing a tight circle in the hall. The lounge window was blown open, shards of glass decorating the floor which held the smoking black outlines of the furniture. “Lightening hath struck the cottage brother,” Thor exclaimed on his knees with theatrical indignation. “Tis’ a natural phenomenon-” “-You’re a natural cretin.” Loki snapped.

“Alright boys let’s just take a beat,” Steve said. “We don’t know what happened here, but suffice to say we’ll deal with the consequences like gentleman.” Loki shook his head, a dry chuckle making his brother flinch.

“Don’t...don’t know what happened, Rogers?!” he quipped with feigned surprise. “Why! Let me just...try to use my magic to un-fuck this mess, shall I?” Thor smirked. Seidr glowed in Loki’s palms, spreading out to the living room. It sloshed upwards like water on a glass dome. “How odd, brother” Loki purred sarcastically. He didn’t even have to look at it. Thor swallowed as Steve’s brows rose. The dark god turned to the captain with a flourish of his wrist.

“My magic doesn’t work on another god’s mischief, you see” he said bluntly. “I suspect I would not be able to locate the whereabouts of your unmentionables, either. But I might start with the crisper if I were you. An old favourite of his.” Thor flushed pink. “Now see here, brother-”

He was cut off by your slow traipse down the stairs. You peeked into the living room; face falling as the three men huddled closer together out of your path. Loki’s mind was afizz. He watched despair cut across your features that not five minutes ago had been resting safely on his shoulder. The memory of that moment, Loki was sure, would sustain him through whatever farce his brother had in store.

“Where am I going to sleep?” you said weakly, looking at Steve. The captain’s lips formed a wide O, eyes vacant. Loki quickly calculated the options. “You can sleep in my room,” he said.

All eyes fell on him. “I will rest...somewhere else. In my brother’s bed as penance for his incredible stupidity.” "What's he got to do with this?" you asked, falling on deaf ears. “And where am I to bed?” Thor huffed. “In the car,” came Loki’s snap response. “Well actually uh-” Steve inhaled deeply, exhaling though his nose. “That won’t be possible. Thor and I need to stay in our assigned lodgings.” “What!?” “Our assigned lodgings.” Loki rolled his eyes.

“Yes, brother. Rogers and I have some important...business to discuss later.” Thor’s eyes flickered to Steve, who nodded. But he didn’t look happy about it. “Assigned lodgings.” he repeated. “I’ll just sleep in the bath,” you said with finality. Loki could tell the tension smothering the hallway was too much. Steve nodded once, clapping you on the shoulder. He gestured for Thor to go first up the stairs. He did, with a final shifty glance backwards.

Loki observed every single step up to the landing with infinite mistrust, hearing their door close with a soft click. Muttering ensued. “You are not sleeping in the bath, Agent. You’ll freeze to death” he spat, running an anxious hand through his hair as he kicked shards of glass from the lounge window further inside the room.

You groaned, resting your forehead against the door-frame. Loki straightened, clasping his hands behind his back. “Take my room.” he uttered, laden with ceremony. “I am a Prince of Asgard, I insist. My word is law. Obey me or face the consequences.” Your face titled towards him, your mouth twitching in a reluctant smile. Loki returned it. “I feel awful,” you whined, biting your lip.

How Loki wished you hadn’t bit your lip. Suddenly, your eyes lit. “Sleep in the room with me. This is dire straights and with those two being weirdos about it-” “-I couldn’t possibly.” he said quickly, catching what he thought might be disappointment in your eyes. The god’s feet shuffled on the floor, seconds ticking loudly. Even a blast of lightening couldn't destroy vintage clocks, apparently.

“On the floor...perhaps.” Loki said. “You could conjure a nice blanket?” you probed. “Some fancy pillows? A treat. No shitty blankets.” Loki nodded, hoping it looked reluctant. Despite it being a terrible idea, excitement twisted in his stomach. “You go ahead,” he said softly. “I’ll be right up.”

He savoured the shape of them on his tongue. It had been a long time, Loki thought wistfully as he watched you go, since he’d said those words.

You flicked the light on, before turning it off again.

Best to just go to sleep, and then...it will be morning. No chatting. Next door, in Thor and Steve’s room, a floorboard creaked.

You looked around the small space, bigger than yours. But the layout was roughly the same, Loki’s single bed slightly off-centre, near to the wall. A small wardrobe sat sadly in the corner, his collection of outdoor-wear hanging neatly. It was hard to place the feeling bubbling in your chest.

Nerves. Anticipation? You hadn’t been this nervous since the night you and Loki had first had sex. You smiled, remembering how the knowledge that lingerie sat snug beneath your casual clothes made you wish the night away before you finally fell into his bed. It had been the best night of your life. Until that point, anyway. We’re not having sex, you chided silently as you quickly pulled off your clothes and left them in a pile by the bed. We’re not.

But for a second, you couldn’t remember why.

Naked, you suddenly recalled that your nightdress was ash next door.

Fuck, you thought; before hearing the low creak of Loki’s ascent up the stairs. You briefly considered displaying yourself nude and draped over the bedpost with your legs spread. But you decided your ego couldn't take that kind of knock right now - not when a kiss had been too far. You darted to the wardrobe, grabbing something and shoving it over your head before leaping to the bed. Fighting the folds of his tightly packed blankets, you shimmied between the thin sheets. He knocked gently, twice. “Come in,” you said casually.

The sound of low gasps and girlish whispers echoed from next door. Or maybe it was the wind. Loki’s hand appeared on the doorknob, pushing at arm’s length. Tentatively, his face came into view, averting his gaze to the door jam. The sight made you want to scream.

“Are you decent?” he murmured formally. At your confirmation, his gaze found you on the bed, knees curled to your chest and one of his t-shirts hanging loose around your body. Casual. Totally casual. “Ah, I’m glad you found something suitable,” he said gingerly as he made his way quietly to the window and pulled the curtains.

A plump comforter unfurled from green light on the floor, one silken pillow at its top. Magic rolled over his body, revealing the pyjama bottoms he’d been wearing all week. The ones that clung to his ass, shifting like water as he moved.

You swallowed.

“This is all I have in the closet, I’m afraid” he murmured half-apologetically as he patted his heart.

His eye twitched, fighting a wink.

Deep valleys of his stomach muscle clenched as he breathed, the V of his hips carved and beautiful above the hem of the loose trousers. The bulge of his cock shifted in moonlight as he dropped to his haunches, arranging the pillow. You cleared your throat, straightening your legs. “It’s fine, thank you for...this.” He offered a curt nod as he quickly arranged himself beneath the blanket. Rolling onto your side, your fingers slid up your temple through your hair. "You think that Thor made lightening hit the cottage?" "Yes." Your nose wrinkled. "Why would he do that?" Loki snorted derisively as he fluffed his luxurious pillow. Goose down, from the sound of it. "He's trying to be mischievous," he said gruffly. "It doesn't suit him." You rolled back on the bed with a squeak, mind working.

“Goodnight,” Loki whispered in the darkness. The salutation seemed unfinished, somehow.

What felt like hours passed.

The god's breathing was steady, but he shifted every so often with a breathy moan you were sure was intentional. You curled deeper on your side, facing away from him. It was freezing, the usual chill of the cottage not helped by the gaping hole in the roof next door no doubt. Was he facing away from you too? You decided to indulge yourself, rolling over beneath a rustle of bedsheets. Loki lay on his side, facing towards the bed. Dark curls were strewn over his forehead, one hand under the pillow while the other rested by his stomach. The blanket was pushed down to his waist, moonlight illuminating the shadowed carvings of his body. “Can’t sleep?” he purred groggily.

You closed your eyes quickly. “I’m cold, that’s all.” you said, hoping your voice didn’t betray the thundering of your sex. Just being in the same room, half-clothed, sleeping – the evidence of your desire for him slid uncomfortably between your thighs. “How rude, I should have given you my blanket-” There was silence, as Loki considered his words. “Do you want this blanket?” he asked quietly. You put all your mortal strength into making your teeth chatter. “N-n-n-no, you’ve already given me your b-b-bed-” “-You know, you’re making this very difficult for me, Agent” Loki chided from the floor. “The only other option is my-” he paused, making your heart stop. “Body heat” he finished.

“Both?” you whispered, half-hoping he wouldn’t hear it.

It hung between you. You opened one eye, catching the glimpse of his milk-slick silhouette rising silently, cast against the moonlight. The blanket hung from one fist, fingers clenching and unclenching. “Heat,” Loki mumbled quietly.

You wondered if he knew he’d done it.

He paced once, stopping at the bed’s edge. Your eyes met, the set of his jaw only softened by lightly parted lips. Lust burned in dark pupils, the energy making the hairs on the back of your neck stand up. Curls fell around his shoulders, the natural scent of his crotch lingering tantalisingly in the air above your nose. God, how you missed that. You shuffled over in the single mattress, realising at once that it would be a very tight fit. He cast a glance to the foot of the bed, and back again.

“Perhaps my brother is still awake, I should make my lodgings there,” he murmured regretfully. Your eyes widened. “But-” “Wait here,” he said firmly.

On his way to the door, he turned and threw the blanket to rest with a flourish over the bed. No sooner had his fingers wrapped around the doorknob and pulled, Thor’s voice came through the wall. Muffled, but unmistakable. ‘Good gods, Rogers...don’t stop,” the voice groaned. “Where did you learn to do that with your argh-f-fingers?’ ‘The army,’ came the abrupt response.

There was another fetid moan. Loki released the door-handle like hot coal while you covered your mouth with your hands. The god hung his head, tendrils of dark hair clouding his expression from view. “Alright...” he breathed stoically to himself before turning to the bed.

Each pace was measured as he drew closer, every creak of the floorboards making you ache for him with every fibre of your being.

“You are cold,” he said slowly, penitently, as his knuckles sank into the mattress.

One knee followed suit.

He tilted his head, biting his lip as his brows knitted with some unsaid thought.

“I can help with that, at least,” he murmured to the darkness.

Continued in Darkest Night, Brightest Day

A/N - If you're not screaming at the wall right now then I haven't done my job. Ps. If anyone can identify, in full, the actual cunning plan, you will win a prize. Tags @lokischambermaid @meowmeow-motherfucker @gigglingtiggerv2 @imalovernotahater @avengersalways @littledark11 @lokikissesmyforehead @simplyholl @fictive-sl0th @thedistractedagglomeration @loopsisloops @glitchquake @holdmytesseract @jaidenhawke @silverfire475 @fandxmslxt69 @morriggannlostinfandoms @marygoddessofmischief @sebstanwhore @xorpsbane @peacefulpianist @yelkmelk @wheredafandomat @mistress-ofmagic @acidcasualties @ozymdias @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokidokieokie @kikster606 @peachyjinx @tbhiddlestan83 @trickster-maiden @skymoonandstardust @justjoanne242 @thenotoriouserg @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfmoonmusic @brittbax @smolvenger @liminalpebble @joyful-enchantress @kaleenjackson @fictional-hooman @kellatron55 @mrs-illyrian-baby @icytrickster17 @multifandom-worlds @muddyorbs @buttercupcookies-blog @megschaef98

#the lakes #loki x reader #loki laufeyson #loki smut #loki fanfiction #loki fluff #loki x female reader #loki angst #loki fanfic #loki imagine #loki imagines #loki x you #loki x yn #loki laufesyon x reader #loki odinson #loki odison x reader #loki gif #loki series

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multiversediaries · 8 months

Text

god of mischief indeed

loki laufeyson x reader

summary: you would’ve never thought this was what loki said about you when you weren’t around.

warnings: small angst, asshole loki

part count: 1/2

“good morning, dearest.” you woke up by loki’s voice. you opened your eyes, your eyes taking some time to adjust to the sudden brightness. you smiled as you saw loki, hovering over you, his hand resting on your cheek.

“morning.” you replied sweetly. loki smiled, planting a small kiss to your lips, as if it were a habit already. it felt like one. after months of living together and sleeping in the same room at the avengers compound. you knew loki like the back of your hand. how could you not know the man you so desperately loved?

you watched as loki stood up from your shared bed, towards the bathroom to wash up. you yawned yet again, stretching gently. after a quick wash, loki walked out of the bathroom, only in a towel, already so comfortable in your presence. you smiled at the view, not because of his physique, but because of how close you two were. of how used to you were to this very sight.

“i’ll head out first, love. wash up, mhm?” loki said, sitting down next to your figure, his accent making you melt into the bed. you nodded, smiling at your man. he offered a grin back, before placing a small kiss to your forehead and leaving the room.

you stood up from your bed, your cheeks flushed and a big grin on your face. you were deadly in love. everyone could see it. everyone in the avengers compound knew of your relationship with the laufeyson. you weren’t yet official, but everyone knew you were off the market and only devoted to him.

after washing up, you left your room, heading towards the living area, where you found bucky and sam having a conversation over breakfast. you wished them a good morning, smiling at them, while you headed for the kitchen to grab something for yourself. you grabbed yourself a toast, and headed towards the workshop, where tony, bruce and natasha were currently at.

“sleeping beauty finally woke up.” tony joked, earning a smile from you. you rolled your eyes jokingly. you walked closer to where they stood, they seemed to have been working on something.

“what are we working on?” you asked, bruce looking over his shoulder to greet you. you offered him a small grin, before he turned his eyes back to the computer.

“we installed cameras.” bruce replied, as he looked and tested every single one. you looked in awe, it was a distinct technology. “it could be of great use for us.” bruce continued.

“it also means no PDA, y/n.” natasha joked, teasing you. you giggled in response, softly hitting her arm playfully. your small joke was interrupted by sounds coming from the computer.

“check the audios for all the cameras, banner. let’s make sure everything’s working.” tony said, now walking away from the computer you all looked at, to focus on yet another computer. you kept your eyes on bruce’s computer as he landed on the camera for the living room of the compound, where thor and loki shared a conversation. you smiled at the sight of him, and even more so when your name was mentioned.

“y/n seems infatuated with you, brother.” you heard thor say, a small, sweet grin in his face. bruce was about to skip, to continue checking the other cameras until you stopped him.

“wait- wait just a second, i wanna listen to this!” you said, somewhat excited to hear what loki spoke of you to his brother when you were not around. bruce chuckled at the sight of your excitement and nodded, leaning back into his chair. bruce grabbed his cup of coffee and continued to eat his sandwich while he could, before he needed to work yet again.

“y/n? she is, isn’t she?” loki replied, a smirk on his face, as of proudness. you furrowed your eyebrows, confused at his weird response but thought nothing of it. you were infatuated indeed!

“are you courting her? are you serious about her?” thor simply asked, the question you’ve had for a long while. the question you were scared of asking. it felt like years waiting for his response. loki chuckled a bit before speaking up.

“courting her? brother, i am simply having fun.” loki heartlessly replied, you felt your heart sink at his words. he was.. having fun with you? toying with your emotions? this simply cannot be true.

“loki…” thor started, he himself startled by loki’s response. bruce had almost choked on his sandwich and natasha stood frozen in place. “the woman is enamored by you, i truthfully thought you were as well, i mean—“

“enamored? brother, seriously… do you truly believe i’d ever settle down?” loki chuckled, relaxing further into the couch they both sat down. “and with her of all people? don’t think so low of me, dear brother, i plead.” he joked, as if you were a joke. bruce’s eyes widened, his eyes rapidly meeting natasha’s in utter shock.

“i— uh— i should continue…” bruce attempted breaking you out of the gaze you were in. “checking the cameras…” bruce almost whispered as he stared at your teary eyes, who were still glued to the screen. he stared at natasha yet again, his eyes begging for help. she nodded, before softly grabbing you by your shoulders.

“y/n, sweetheart, why don’t we take a small walk, yes?” natasha said pitifully, whilst walking you out of the workshop, her eyes meeting tony’s, begging him to not joke around right now, and he seemed to have understood, since he went right back to his work. natasha walked you towards the foyer, knowing you’d need some fresh air.

you sighed shakily, as the fresh air dried your tears. natasha had her arm wrapped around you in comfort, and you couldn’t thank her enough for that. you spend a few minutes of pure silence, trying to understand what the hell just happened. you even blamed yourself for letting your curiosity get the best of you.

“is there an empty room available?” you finally spoke up after almost thirty minutes of silence. natasha offered you a sad smile, before nodding her head.

“of course there is.”

“is it alright if i move to that room instead? i just don’t want to face him and sleep in the same—” you rambled.

“you don’t even have to ask, alright?” natasha shushed you, her hands stroking your skin in comfort. you nodded, a sigh leaving your lips. “we can get started right now if you want to.” she said and you nodded your head desperately. you didn’t want to see him.

the thought of sleeping next to him upset you. the thought of him playing you was angering to say the least. he knew of how you felt towards him. hell, he had even said he reciprocated those feelings. what an incredible liar you are, loki laufeyson. he actually had you believing he was yours, just as you were his. he actually made you believe he was just as in love.

he was truly the god of mischief.

#marvel #marvel fanfiction #loki #loki x reader #loki fanfic #loki odinson #mcu loki #loki laufeyson #loki laufeyson x reader #loki laufeyson x y/n #marvel x reader #mcu #mcu fanfiction #mcu imagine #mcu x reader #loki odison x reader #marvel x you #light angst

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lokigodofmyheart · 27 days

Text

THROUGH TIME

Loki x Female Reader.

Summary: The history of Loki and Y/N through the time since they were 8 years old.

Warnnings: Canon Divergence; Mean Odin; Friends to lovers; really small enemies to lovers; virgin!Loki, virgin!Reader, first kiss, loss of virginity, marriage, planned pregnancy.

Word count: 9.455

A/N: I really like to write this one. Loki deserves his happy ending. If I forgot any warnning, please let me know. English is not my first language. You can also find this work on AO3.

Y/N and Loki had been best friends for a couple of years now. They met when her mother, a close friend of Frigga, accepted the invitation to move to Asgard and live with them. Loki and Y/N were 5 at the time ant that was 3 years ago. Now they’re 8 years old.

Y/N had a nightmare that night and woke up scared, so she decided to go to her best friend’s room, like she usually did when she was scared. She knocked on his door, gently. Loki was laying on his bed, sobbing on his pillow, but when he heard a knock on his door, he sat up and tried to stop crying. Y/N didn’t wait for an answer, she knocked and enter his room and went straight to his bed with him. Loki looks over at her and wipes the last of his tears with the back of his hand “W-what do you want?”

“What happened?” She asked worried seeing him cry, her nightmare long forgotten.

“Dad hurt me...” Loki said quietly.

Her face showed pure shock “...what?”

Loki nods, looking down “He...he hit me.”

Y/N hugged the little boy tightly “I’m so sorry, Loki.” He hugged her back, sobbing into her shoulders. “Do you want me to stay with you? Or maybe come to my room?”

He looks at her, his face wet with the tears “I want to come to your room.”

She held his hand as they got off his bed and walked to her room, Loki following her and still shaken. They went to her bed as soon as they entered Y/N’s room and Loki curls up next to her. “I’ll protect you.” She says to her friend.

Loki smiles and closes his eyes, slowly beginning to fall asleep feeling safe with her. Y/N seeing he was peacefully, finally closed her eyes and slept too, with no more nightmares in the night. After that night, they made a habit to sleep together sometimes, but no one really mind since they were only kids.

4 years later

Loki and Y/N were now 12 and they still sleeping close by with Y/N. They are laying on her bed, when she broke the silence. “How was your day?” Loki mumbles something about Odin being mean to him, again. “You should come train with me and Thor. Maybe that could help you relax." She smiles at him.

Loki just nods at her. He didn’t like that much of the idea to train with Thor. Everyone thinks so highly of his brother. They talked for a few more minutes before they decided to sleep. Loki tried once to train with her and his brother, but he didn't like. So, he starts to spend more of his time in the library reading.

3 years later

They're 15 years old now. Loki had gotten taller than Y/N, which was normal, his voice had changed, and he looked more like a man than a boy. Y/N's body was also changing and they're both filled with hormones. Loki got better with his magic and Y/N got better with the fight skills. They still sleep sometimes together, it was a habit by now. But the hormones were starting to act on them.

Loki was reading a book but couldn’t stop thinking of Y/N. He had thought of her a lot recently and had even caught himself fantasizing of her a lot. He tried to keep his mind on the book, but it was hard when he had been thinking about her so much. Then a knock came on the door and interrupted his thoughts.

“Loki?” She called him.

He put down his book and got up then walked over to the door and opened it, looking at her “Yeah?”

“Can I come in?” She looked a little sad.

“Uh, yeah.” he steps aside and opens the door wide enough for her to enter. Y/N follow straight to let her body fall on his bed with a groan. Loki walked and sat next to her with concern on his face “Are you okay?”

“No.”

“Why? What’s wrong?” Loki looked at her with genuine curiosity and concern.

"Sif and your brother keep making fun of me because I never kissed anyone." She rolls her eyes.

Loki thought about it for a minute before a smirk grew on his face “You haven’t kissed anyone at all?”

"Oh, come on, not you too." Y/N says frustrated and looks away.

He chuckles and playfully nudged her shoulder “I’m not making fun of you, I’m just surprised.”

Y/N sighs, sitting and looking at him “Have you?”

Loki turned slightly red “Well… no I haven’t kissed anyone…” Y/N smiles sympathetic at him. Loki was still a little red “B-but have you really never kissed anyone?” He still couldn’t believe it. In his mind Y/N had kissed loads of boys because she was so pretty. She just shakes her head at his question.

He thinks for a second and then speaks “So let me get this right, you have never been kissed and I’ve never been kissed, right?”

“Yeah...” She nods.

Loki thinks for another second then looks back over at her “I have an idea…”

“What is it?” Y/N asks curious at him.

He takes a deep breath and then leans in towards Y/N “Just close your eyes…” She looks at him for a few seconds and then do as he asks. Loki takes a deep breath and then leans in further, so his lips meet hers. It isn’t a very long kiss and is quite short. When it is over Loki looks at her with a blush on his cheeks “So what do you think…”

She he opens her eyes and smiles, with a blushing on her cheeks too "That was...uh, nice."

Loki is still blushing hard and can’t pull his gaze from her “You really think so…?”

Y/N nods "Can we...do it again?"

He can’t contain the blush on his face and his body is practically radiate heat. His eyes are still glued to her face “Yeah definitely…” he leans back in for another kiss. She leans in too, kissing him. Loki’s mind was racing with thoughts. He never thought this would happen, especially when the person he’s kissing is Y/N. It was incredible, better than anything he had imagined in his fantasies. He holds her waist, pulling her closer to him as he kissed her.

Loki moans softly into the kiss as the heat escalate, his body reacting to the heat between them. His hands move up her back, tangling in her hair as he deepens the kiss. He can feel himself growing hard against his pants and he breaks the kiss, gasping for air “We should stop.”

Y/N could feel herself getting wet with just kissing Loki, but she agreed “Yeah, we should.”

He nods, running his hand through his hair. He can feel the adrenaline coursing through his veins. This was unlike anything he had ever experienced before. He knows they need to stop before things go too far “Do you want to sleep here tonight...?”

“Sure.” She smiles while she tries to recover from that hot kiss.

Loki smiles back, laying down in the bed and patting the space next to him for her to lay down next to him. She does it and he pulls her close to him and hugs her tightly as he closes his eyes.

“Loki?” She called him in a whisper.

He opens his eyes and then looks at her “Yeah?”

"We're not gonna tell about this to anyone, right?"

Loki nods “Yeah definitely. I mean, there’s no reason for anyone to know about it. And I doubt you’d want just anyone to know about this.”

"Yeah. Just two friends helping each other." She says smiling. Loki nods again and looks back down, closing his eyes. Y/N does the same and they soon fell asleep.

3 years later

Loki and Y/N were now 18. Loki’s body had changed a lot since he was younger. He was more muscular than he was back then, and his face had matured to the point where he didn’t look like a little boy, but a man. Y/N also changed in those years. She looked like a grown woman now and it she was becoming one of the best fighters on the realm.

Loki was laying in his bed and staring at the ceiling, thinking about things that were not that important. He heard a knock at his door, and he sighed, getting up to answer it. He looked at Y/N standing there for a few seconds, her beauty striking him a little bit. “Hey, you’re just back from training?”

"Yeah. I beat Sif's ass all the time today." She laughs getting in his room, dropping her sword closer to his door.

He grins “Damn, that’s pretty impressive. I’m surprised she didn’t tell you off or complain about you being better than her.”

"How said she didn't?" Y/N laughs.

“And I assume you gave her a good comeback, like saying how you’re better than her?” Loki laughed too.

“Something like that.” She says still laughing. “Can I use your shower? Mine’s not working.”

Loki tilts his head in curiosity but then nods “Sure, go ahead. There’s soap right next to the shower and a towel is on the floor next to it too.”

"Thanks." She smiles and enters his bathroom. After a few minutes, Loki heard the shower being turned off. But then Y/N appears on the door with only a towel "Can I borrow one of your shirts? I forgot to bring my clothes."

Loki looks at her, his eyes trailing down her body. He could see the outline of her breasts through the towel and feel a familiar stirring in his pants. He nods, standing up and grabbing a shirt from his dresser “Here you go.”

"Thanks." She smiles "Maybe one of your boxers too?"

Loki blinks caught off guard by her request. His heart races and his breathing hitches. He hesitates for a moment but then nods slowly, grabbing a pair of boxers from his drawer. He hands them to her with clumsy fingers. “Here.”

"Thanks." She smiles and goes to the bathroom to get changed. She exits the clean clothes she’s borrow. Loki stares at her as she walks back into the room. He can't help but notice how sexy she looks in just his shirt and boxers. His mind races with thoughts of all the things he could do to her, all the ways he could touch her. Y/N lays by his side on the bed.

Loki glances at her with a smirk “You look cute in my shirt.”

She chuckles "Thanks."

He can feel her body pressing against him, and he can't help but respond. His hand finds its way to her thigh, slowly moving upward. “What are you thinking about?”

His touch sent shivers down her body "Sif and I were talking today about...some things."

Loki nods and then leans closer to her “What sort of things…?”

“Personal things...”

He thinks for a moment and then speaks softly “can you tell me…?”

Y/N chuckles and nods "She was telling me about her first time."

Loki’s interest is piqued, and he raises his eyebrow “and…?”

"I don’t know, I was just...wondering about things.” Y/N looks at him, a small blush on her face “Have you...did you already...Have you ever had sex?"”

Loki turns red and he blushes “uhm well no….”

“Really? But you’re a prince.” She smiles.

He shrugs and blushes even harder “well, have you…?”

“...no.” She blushes.

Loki turns to her and looks her in the eye “So you haven’t…ever?”

"No. Why?" She looks at him.

“I just thought…well, you must have had boyfriends, right...?” Loki asked.

Y/N chuckles "I spent my free time with you, so no. I don't."

Loki blushes more and moves a bit closer to her “So…we’re both virgins…?’

“Yeah.” Y/N let out a nervous chuckle.

Loki smiles at her and his body heats up. He leans in closer to her, almost whispering “So…want to change that...?”

“...what?” She whispers back to him.

His breath hitches and he speak softly “Do…you wanna….y’know do it together?” Y/N thinks for a few seconds before she nods at him. He was her first kiss and she trusted him to be her first time too. Loki smiles gently, biting his lip ever so slightly “You sure this is what you want?”

“I am. Are you?”

Loki nods, his heart pounding in his chest “Yes, I am.” he leans in slowly, pressing his lips against hers. She kisses him back, remembering a when they kissed for the first time years ago.

Feeling her lips against his, Loki groans softly into the kiss. He wraps his arms around her waist, pulling her closer as their tongues slowly explore each other’s mouths. Their kiss deepens as their desire grows stronger.

Loki’s hands wander over her body, exploring the curves that have developed over the years. Y/N’s hand also explored his body and his muscular chest through the clothes he was wearing. That made Loki let out a groan when her hands travelled his body. He breaks the kiss to press his lips against her neck, trailing soft kisses down her collarbone, making Y/N moan and her hands going down to palm him through the pants. Loki gasped at the feeling. He’s never been touched like this before by someone else and it’s driving him wild.

He slides his hand on her body to take off the shirt she was wearing, exposing her breasts to him. Loki’s mouth goes down, capturing one of her nipples in his mouth, rolling it between his teeth softly. Y/N’s hands worked quickly to take off his shirt too, while his hands worked to slide down her body the boxer she was wearing.

Y/N’s hand found his cock when she opens his pants, making Loki gasp and his hips buck into her touch. He groans loudly as he feels her fingers wrapped around his throbbing length “Oh gods, Y/N... this feel so good...” She kept stroking him while he struggles to maintain control when her hands worked on him.

She suddenly stops, smiling at him “Can you take these off? I want to try something.”

Loki grins and quickly pull the remaining clothes off, his erection visible now making her eyes widen, thinking if he would really fit her. “What do you have in mind?”

“Lay down.” She says.

With a nod, Loki obey her. She starts stocking him slowly again, making him moan loudly and squirm beneath her as she kept her slow pace. “Oh, fuck...”

“Can you guide me?” She asks with a smirk on her lips.

Loki just nods his head when she decided to put him on her mouth. His hips jerk up off the bed ad he feels Y/N’s warm mouth on his cock, making him let out a long and low moan. Loki’s hand run though her hair, guiding her as she takes more of him. Loki’s eyes roll back into his head, unable to believe how good this feels.

Y/N looks at him confused when he suddenly pulls her off “Did I do something wrong?”

He shakes his head quickly and pulls her to kiss her deeply, his tongue exploring her mouth and tasting himself “No, you were perfect. I just want to finish with you.”

“Oh, okay.” She smiles.

Loki lay her down underneath him, smiling at her as his hands moved to her folds. Y/N let out a moan just with the feelings of his hands coming close. She was never touched like that by anyone. Loki slide one finger inside her, slowly stroking her wetness and rubbing her clit with his thumb. That made her let out a louder moan.

Feeling her inner walls clench around his finger, Loki chuckles softly. He kisses her neck and moves to her ear, nibbling gently “So wet for me...”

“Loki...” She moans his name.

Loki groans in response, pushing a second finger inside her slowly. He starts thrusting them in and out gently, stretching her as he leans down to capture one of her nipples in his mouth again. Feeling her body respond to his touch, Loki puck up the pace slightly, increasing both the depth and the speed of his thrust.

“Loki, I think I’m close.”

He quickens his pace even more “Come for me.” Seconds later she was hit by her climax, and his fingers keep stroking her, feeling her muscles relax and loosen after her orgasm. “I don’t want this to hurt you, Y/N/N. Are you ready?”

Y/N just nods at him. Slowly, Loki lines himself up with her entrance, taking a deep breath before he starts pushing forward slowly, feeling the tightness of her entrance as he slips inside. Her face showed pain when he enters her and a few tears scape her eyes. Loki freezes seeing her tears and stops, kissing her tears away. He then keeps sliding inside her, slower than the first time and stops, kissing gently her forehead.

“You can move.” She says after a few more seconds.

Once he’s sure that she wasn’t in pain anymore, Loki begins to move, his thrusts slow and gentle as his hands find their way to hers where they lace their fingers together. Y/N let out a small moan, her pain turning into pleasure.

Loki speed up his thrusts slightly as he hears her moans, watching her face for any sigh that he was going too fast or too hard. When she smiles softly at him, he returns her smile, a warm feeling spreading through his chest. After years of waiting, he finally lost his virginity with her, his best friend.

“Loki, I’m...”

“I know.” Was all he said before kissing her. Loki was close too. Her walls clenched around his cock as she moans his name again. Feeling her climax, Loki couldn’t help but release his seed deep inside her. He groans into the kiss, feeling a wave of pleasure wash over him. Panting heavily, Loki slowly pulls out of her, and he collapsed onto the bed besides her. A small smile crept onto his lips as he thought of what just happened between them “That…felt incredible…”

Y/N nods, still trying to catch her breath “You’re sure you never done that before?”

Loki chuckles as he wraps an arm around her and pulling her to him “I’m sure, that was honestly all new to me.”

“Well, you were really good.” she chuckles, laying her head on his chest.

He blushes as he rubs his hand up and down her back, a small smile on his face “Thank you…you know…I gotta say that was one of the best things I've ever done in my life…”

“We should do it more times.” Y/N suggested.

Loki nods “I agree, I wouldn’t mind doing this over and over again with you…”

She smiles at him “Yeah. We’re friends, we can be a bit more intimate...”

He smiles and rubs her back a bit “I guess that’s how we can describe it and that’s how it should stay, right? Just friends…”

“Yeah.” She agrees.

-----

Y/N and Loki manage to keep that way for about 8 months. But being intimate brough them closer than they already were, making people inside the palace starts gossiping about them, how they were cute together, that they were probably together but just hiding for the public, that they’re in love. Even Thor and his friends engage with that gossip.

Loki would notice the whispers. Some people in the castle would start joking around with him about him being ‘in love’ with her. He would jokingly brush it off with a laugh and would deny it. But he was starting to actually have feelings for her. But he could not act on them due to the fact that he remembered what she said to him about them just being friends. So, he remained silent about the situation, still only acting as just friends with her.

Y/N knocked on Loki’s door earlier than normal. Loki was just sitting on his bed reading a book and he was quite shocked at her early arrival. He quickly put his book aside and went to the door “Hey, what’re you doing here?”

Loki could see she was angry “Your dear brother just kicked me out of our training today.”

He was take by surprise by her answer and he got slightly confused “W-what...? Thor kicked you out…?”

“Yes!” she sits on his bed letting out a frustrated sigh.

Loki was shocked and he wasn't expecting her to be this angry. He sits down next to her and thinks about this for a moment before finally asking “Why did he kick you out?”

“Just because I was mad that they kept saying those gossips about us.”

“Well…you shouldn’t be paying mind and listening to what people are saying, okay?” Loki says to her, trying to easy her anger.

Y/N sighs “I know, but it’s all the damn time...”

Loki nods, taking her hand gently “Don’t let them get to you…alright...?”

She looks for a moment to their hands together, a small smile appearing on her face “I’ll try.”

Loki smiled back at her and then speaks softly “Listen…about those people that gossip about us….do you think they’re right?”

Y/N chuckles, looking at him “We both know that we’re not together.”

He just nods, looking down before he says quietly “Right, we’re not… just friends right…?”

Y/N noticed the way he was acting. In fact, she noticed the last time they were together too, but she said to herself she was imagining things. “You’re not happy with this, are you?”

Loki sighs, avoiding eye contact with her “No…honestly…no I’m not happy with this…”

She nods at him, feeling tense and fearing his next answer “Do you want to stop?”

He looks back up at her “No…I meant…I’m unhappy with the fact that we’re just friends.”

Y/N let out the breath she was holding, relaxing with his answer and smiling “Oh, thank the gods!”

Loki was surprised by her reaction. He had expected her to pull away as soon as he had said his last few words “But…you…you’re not upset…?”

“No.” She chuckles “I was thinking about that the last two times we had sex…”

His body tenses up and he blinks in surprise, his heart pounding as he realizes what she’s said “H-hold on a sec…w-we’re you actually wanting to take this further…?"

“Yeah, I just didn’t know how to bring this up…”

Loki was speechless as he realized how stupid he was for not acting on those feelings earlier “But does that mean you would want to start a…. relationship with me…?"

“If you want to.” Y/N smiles widen.

He smiles and grabs her hand “You have no idea how happy you’ve made me right now. I’ve wanted this for so long…” She smiles at him. Loki’s heartbeat quickens as he feels her hand brush against his. He was finally with the woman he had always wanted to be with for so long.

Years later

Y/N and Loki were still dating. They were the favorite royal couple.

Thor instead in them going with him to fight the frost giants. Loki had become a master of magic in thoses years and Y/N was one of the best warriors of Asgard. When Thor asked them to go with him to fight the frost giants, Loki agreed without any hesitation or question.

As they were preparing to leave Loki walked up to Y/N. He looked at her and smirked a soft smile “Hey.’

“Hi.” She smiles at him. He could notice she was tense.

"Are you ready for this?” He asked walking closer to her.

“Yeah.”

Loki grabs her hands and gives it a tight squeeze “Don't worry, I won't let anything hurt you.” He smiles at her and pats her forearm reassuringly.

That made her chuckle, she probably was a better fighter than he was "I'm not worried about that."

He looks at her curiously, raising his eyebrow “Then what are you worried about?”

"Odin said for Thor to let it pass, and yet Thor insisted. I just have a bad feeling about this..." She says at her boyfriend.

Loki thinks about what she's said, he also was feeling a bit uneasy as well, but he wasn't going to admit that yet “Hmm... well, I think we'll be fine. I mean we're fighting frost giants, not the entire realm.” he then smirked and spoke sarcastically “Besides, are you scared?”

Y/N rolled her eyes at him “Me? Never!”

Y/N and Loki joined everyone else. In the middle of the fight, she saw one of them grabbing Loki's arm. When she run to him, he looks like he just saw a ghost. She grabbed his arm expecting to see a wound, but it had...nothing. He was fine.

Loki’s eyes were widened, and he looked at her in shock as he slowly pulls his arm away from her. He was scared and his mind was going a mile a second as he was trying to figure out what exactly had happened.

“You’re...not hurt.” She says looking at his arm confused.

He blinks and looks at her, his gaze was now a bit more confused, and she could see that he was still shaken up. “I…no…I’m not….”

They didn't have much time after that to talk. Everything happened so fast, Odin came and took them all back, banished Thor to Midgard. Y/N quickly took Loki back to her room, before Odin decided to do something with him too.

Loki was obviously shaken up by everything that had happened. He was quiet and kept to himself whilst Y/N took him to her room and his mind was just running a mile a minute. Once they were inside her room, he spoke for the first time since everything had happened "I need to go...to see something."

Y/N nods “Okay, I’ll go with you.”

"No... I'll go alone. It's something I have to do on my own...I’ll be right back." Loki doesn't explain any further as he walks out of her room, leaving a confused Y/N.

It had been already an hour after that. Loki sat silently in his room, staring at a blank wall as he tried to take all of it in. This had to be a mistake...this couldn't be right...how the hell was he a frost giant? There were so many damn questions racing through his mind right now.

There was a knock on his door. He looked up and he opened the door, he was still processing everything, and he had almost forgotten about Y/N. “Yeah?”

"I've been looking for you like crazy." She says entering his room.

Loki raised an eyebrow “Looking for me? I think you’re being a little dramatic” he says casually, although his voice cracked slightly from the stress of everything that was going through his mind.

"Me? Dramatic? You're the one who left me alone and was being mysterious and all." Y/N says.

He was angry and confused at everything that happened with him “What the hell is your goddamn problem? It isn’t like I left you for days or something, why are you so worried?”

“Because I care about you.”

Loki scoffs and glares down at her, he was feeling more and more pissed off “Did you not understand me the first damn time? I just needed some time to myself, is that so goddamn hard for you to understand?”

"Your brother have just been banished and you left gods knows where. Are you really complaining about me being worried about you?" She was not believing the way he was acting.

He rolls his eyes and sighs, closing it for a few seconds before opening them again. “Do you think that right now I want your goddamn sympathy? No! I want to be left alone! Alone with my thoughts. Don’t you get it?”

Y/N took a step back “Is that what you really want? To be alone?”

“Yes! That’s what I want! Can you not take the damn hint?!” Loki yells at her, taking a step forward and clenching his fists as he did.

“Do I annoy you that much?” She asks almost in a whisper.

Loki glares at her “Yes! You do! You annoy the hell out of me!” He yells, he had never said something like that to her before and it really caught her off guard.

Y/N keeps looking at him "Okay...I won't 'annoy' you anymore...or ever again" She took out the bracelet Loki had gifted her when they started dating and put on his desk, before she turns and left him alone "I'm ending this."

That hit Loki like cold water. He was shocked when Y/N placed the bracelet that he had gifted her on the desk. But when she said that she was ‘ending this’ and then started to walk out, he quickly ran after her “Wait! Wait!” he yelled, trying desperately to get her attention. But she didn’t stop, she kept walking away, with tears on her face now.

Loki runs up to her and grabs her wrist gently and stops her from going “Wait! Please wait! Just hear me out! I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I…” Y/N just shakes her head, crying. Loki feels guilty, he didn’t really mean what he said. He was just overwhelmed and stressed out from everything. he was still trying to control his emotions “I didn’t mean it…I swear…” Loki sighs heavily as he wipes away her tears “I’m just confused right now. I’m sorry about what I said. Please don’t end this over what I said, I was just emotional. I didn’t mean any of it. Please don’t end this…”

“Why did you say it?” She asks him in a whisper, tears still running down her face.

Loki sighs once again and doesn’t speak for a few seconds “I don’t know why I did…I was stressed out and confused. I had no idea what to do, and my emotions just exploded. So…I’m sorry…I really am…”

Y/N tries to wipe the tears, but more came "I need you to be honest with me."

Loki nods, still glancing away from her to the side. He then spoke quietly, as to avoid choking up or his voice faltering, he was still trying desperately not to cry “I will…”

“Do you love me?”

He sighs and looks back up at her “Yes…I love you so much. And I’m an idiot for just saying all those things to you without properly assessing my own emotions…”

"What happened?" She asks softly.

Loki pauses for a few seconds before speaking. “Well…to make a long story short, i found out about my true heritage...I’m not an Asgardian…” He could see the confusion on her face “I’m a…frost giant.”

Y/N’s eyes widen in shock for a second before she looks down at her feet. A few seconds passed, in a silence that was making Loki more anxious than ever. “I don’t care.” She finally says.

He was a bit surprised that Y/N didn’t take the news horribly. He was waiting for her to call him a monster, say she never want to see him again...but she was actually alright with him being a frost giant. “You’re just…fine with this? Most people would be terrified of me now.”

"Well, I'm not most people, Loki. I'm the person who stays with the little boy who cried when his father was mean. I'm the person who was always by your side. I’m the person who loves you.”

Loki was stunned, hearing her say that made his heart melt and some tears fall off his eyes. He never knew he was going to find someone like her. “Thank you...thank you for being here for me..." Loki couldn't help himself, he pulled her close and kissed her. Y/N smiles into the kiss, not expecting it at all. She wraps her arms around him, embracing the kiss. She felt comfortable in his arms once again and she felt happy.

"Don't you ever say anything like that to me again. Or I swear I will break things up for good."

Loki couldn’t help but smile when she said that. She wasn’t leaving him after all, and she still loved him. So, he nodded and spoke softly “I won’t. I promise…” Y/N had tried her best to keep Loki sane after all of these events, but he was too angry. After the events that succeed, Y/N had cried a lot when Thor told her he had die in the Bifrost.

But then, imagine her surprise when Thor came telling her that Loki was on Midgard, trying to dominate the planet with an army. Y/N was in shock when she heard that. She wasn’t quite sure how to feel. On one hand, she was happy to hear that he was still alive but on the other, she wasn’t excited about him being on Midgard. The thought of him trying to take over the planet worried her.

Thor took her there with him, thinking that maybe she could get him to stop if the moment came. She hadn't seen him until the final fight in the Stark tower, when she walked to him with her armor and her sword in hand, like Thor had requested her. Loki had his back to her "Loki?"

Loki heard his name being called but he continued to gaze out at the destruction behind him that he had left in his path. He didn’t turn to face her, and his voice had a hint of a cold indifference in it “…what do you want?”

She looks at the image in front of him "That's not you."

He continued to stare out into the destruction and chaos he had left. He knew she was right. He wasn’t himself, he was a completely different version now. One that was angry, manipulative, cunning and cold “I’m fine. I don’t see what the big deal is…”

Y/N walked closer to him, putting her sword on the ground and using that hand to hold his shoulder “Loki...” His cold gaze finally turned to face her, though his expression remained the same, unchanging and uncaring. When she put her hand on his shoulder, he immediately flinched a little bit because of the sudden touch. “That’s not you.” She said again.

Loki didn’t say anything for a few seconds. He was silent, his face gave away little to no emotion “I’m no longer the person I was before…I’ve changed…and I’ve learned much…and I’ve become so much more…”

She reached for his face slowly, and Loki was caught a bit off guard when she put her hand on his face, but he didn’t flinch or move his face away from her. He noticed that she was still wearing the bracelet he gifted her as well.

"Give up this madness dream. Come home with me." She says softly, her hand caressing his face.

Loki was silent for a few seconds as he stared at her. Then he finally spoke, his voice now had a slight hint of anger in it “I *will* have my revenge. Nothing...no one will stop me…”

"Please, Loki. I know the man I love is still in there." She says with tears on her eyes. She didn’t know if she would be able to fight him if it was necessary.

His anger immediately disappeared when she started to cry. Seeing her tears only reminded him of all of the times she had stood by him, through thick and thin. She was always there for him, he couldn’t just abandon her again. So, he pulled her close and hugged her tightly, still not saying anything and just simply holding her close.

Y/N return his hug "I know something must happen to you...but please, stop it."

Loki continues to hug her and just holds her close for a few seconds. He didn’t want her to know his traumatic past, at least not yet. So instead, he spoke softly “You’re right…something did happen…I can’t tell you…”

"It's okay. Just stop this attack and come home...I'll protect you."

Loki was now on the verge of crying when she said that. But she had told him she would protect him, and he was so desperate for that right now. He didn’t want to be alone anymore. So, he spoke softly “Please…I need you.”

He stopped the attack and end up fighting alongside the Avengers. Thor, Loki and Y/N went back home. Y/N and Thor talked with Odin and convinced him that Loki help them in the end, so he wouldn’t send him to a cell.

Loki was now back at Asgard, where everything slowly became normal once again. However, he was still slightly traumatized by what had happened and was still suffering from the PTSD that he had acquired after the torture. The two of them were still together and he felt relieved that he didn’t lose her. Loki struggled a lot with his nightmares, which were getting worse every night. Whenever they hit, he would wake up in a cold sweat, his heart beating out his chest and he would usually be crying. Y/N would be next to him every time, holding him gently and speaking softly, trying to comfort him when he woke up. He felt very weak and helpless during these moments, and he was glad he had her with him.

That night Loki also woke up with his nightmares, running to the bathroom to throw up. Loki was already on his knees, hugging the toilet and throwing up, his tears streaming down his face. Any second now he would begin hyperventilating, as was typical for how these nightmares would usually go for him. Y/N woke up and walked to the bathroom, holding his hair back. He immediately calmed down a bit and took a deep breath. Hearing her voice and feeling her touch made things more bearable.

Loki was still shaking a bit when he finally finished throwing up, so Y/N hugged him tightly as they sit on the bathroom’s floor. His body was shaking almost uncontrollably, and he was trying not to hyperventilate. His breath was shaky, and his chest was rising and falling rapidly as he tried to control himself. But when she hugged him, he stopped for a few seconds and then he hugged her back, burying his head into her shoulder and holding her tight.

"You know you'll have to talk about this some time, Loki..." She says softly.

Loki sniffled and held her a bit tighter for a few seconds before he finally spoke softly. His voice sounded choked up and shaky and he was still trying to stop himself from crying. “I know...I just...not yet.”

“I hate to see you like that.” Y/N says while she brushes his hair away from his face.

He nodded his head, still holding her tightly “I know…I know that I need to talk about it…it’s just…I don’t know if I can….I just…” it was clear that he didn’t know how to speak about it. He simply couldn’t bear to relive what had happened to him.

"Do you want me to...see it?"

Loki flinches, the prospect of her seeing his memories was terrifying for him. He didn’t want anyone to see what he had gone through, least of all someone who he loved so deeply. So, he shook his head.

"Loki, you need to let it out. He can't hurt you anymore."

He takes a few seconds before speaking again. He was still on the verge of tears, and he was shaking quite a bit. He understood the importance of talking about it, but he could barely even bring himself to speak about it “I know…I know that it will help…but I’m just…I’m just scared…so scared…”

"I'm here with you." She says "I'll always be here with you."

Loki sniffled and he hugged her back tightly. Hearing her say that she would always be there for him gave him a bit of strength, and he tightened his grip on her as if to show his appreciation and gratitude. He slowly let out a breath and his tears began to subside. “I know…I know you will be…”

She starts brushing his hair, close to his forehead "Can I?"

Loki was a bit hesitant at first, he wasn’t sure about her entering his mind and reliving the trauma with him. He hated the idea of possibly putting her through that…but he felt so weak and so helpless, and she offered. So, he eventually nodded.

So she did it. She could see the memories when he let her enter. She was gently around his mind when she starts seeing the fight with Thor at the Bifrost, when he let it go. She saw all the torture he endured from the mad titan and everything that happened with him. She could feel his pain and she could understand why he was so reluctant to talk about it. It was a horrible realization but now she knew the extent of the abuse he endured while under the mercy of Thanos.

When she came back, she was crying. Loki noticed that she was crying, and he looked up at her with a concerned expression. “A-are you okay...?”

Y/N shook her head. "No, Loki. I'm sorry you have been through all of that." She hugs him so tightly.

Loki was still silent for a few seconds as he simply hugged her tightly and buried his head in her shoulder again. He didn’t know quite what to say, he just wanted to forget about what had happened. Especially now when having to think back on it all. When she hugged him back, he started to squeeze her even tighter, as if seeking comfort and trying to remind himself that the pain was now gone. He didn’t want to relive it ever again.

"You'll never go through that ever again. I'll protect you, I swear."

Loki wanted to believe her so much. Having her to protect him was a great comfort for him and a great relief. He was so vulnerable right now, scared to ever face anything like that again. Hearing that he would never go through that again was extremely reassuring to him. He kept hugging her and didn’t want to let go. “You promise?”

“I promise.”

Loki was getting better after a couple of months. He still had some nightmares, but not as often as before. Thanks to Y/N being by his side, he had started to sleep a little more soundly than before. His nightmares had gone from multiple times a week to only once a week, which was an achievement in his eyes. He didn’t feel as scared to sleep anymore and he was thankful for that. Especially because he knew his girlfriend was right by his side, ready to help him out whenever he needed it.

After six months, Loki was finally getting better. His nightmares were now happening rarely instead of occasionally. He still had them from time to time, but they were now much more manageable. He still had a lot of healing to do, but this was definitely progress.

With each day that passed and each night that went by, Loki just continued to think about how much he loved his girlfriend. She was always by his side, and she always managed to comfort him whenever he needed it. She supported him through everything, and she understood him like no one else did. It was only natural that he started to think about marriage. He didn’t necessarily know if she thought the same, but the thought hadn’t left him for a while now.

"What you're thinking about?" Y/N asks as she notices he was not paying attention to the book on his hands.

Loki was still lost in thought, thinking about the prospect of marriage. He hadn’t realized that he had stopped paying attention to the book he had in his hands, as he had simply been staring blankly at it. But then she asked him a question and snapped him out of his thoughts. “Nothing…just…nothing…”

Y/N chuckles “It doesn’t look like nothing.”

He also chuckled a bit and then said “Okay, maybe it was something….”

"Are you gonna tell me?" She sits closer to him.

Loki was silent for a few seconds and then he finally spoke softly “I was just…thinking about something…about us…?”

"Should I worry about this?" Y/N says with a playful smile.

“Not necessarily…I was just thinking about…what if we took our relationship to the next level…you know…”

“Like how?”

“…like…getting married?” Loki spoke carefully and anxiously as he said this, he was wondering what her reaction would be.

Y/N smiles softly at him* "Are you serious?"

Loki nodded and spoke softly “Yes….I’ve been thinking about it for a while now….and I wanted to know what you think….”

“I wouldn’t be opposite of the idea.” Loki’s heart started to beat rapidly as she said that. “Can you imagine us, married and with a mini you running around?" Loki blushed and smiled, imagining the scenario was a bit adorable.

He could just imagine the two of them with their child, living happily ever after. Loki liked that idea…very much. It felt so innocent and so pure, something that he had wanted for so long. And there was no way he would ever let go of it, not ever. “That would be so perfect…our own little family…”

Y/N smiled at the thought “Yeah...”

Loki smiled back at her, and he wanted to say something else. But he still felt a bit anxious, he still felt like it wasn’t set in stone just yet “So…you’re really saying yes…? Like…definitely, yes…?”

"I don't know...make the proposal." She chuckles. Loki smirked at her response and then thought to himself. He was definitely going to propose to her soon, that was for sure. So he started to hatch out a plan for the perfect proposal he would want. Once he had that all figured out, the only thing that would be left was to execute it.

Days had passed and Loki had been waiting for the right moment. And after a week of waiting, he got that perfect moment. He found her alone in her room and he knew that now was his chance to do it.

“Hey.” Y/N smiled as he entered her room.

“Hey…” Loki smiles back at her. He feels the rush of adrenaline as he finally has his chance. This is the moment he’s been waiting for. So, he speaks confidently as he approaches her “I want to ask you something….”

“Sure.”

Loki takes a deep breath and steadies his voice, trying to sound as confident and sure as he could when speaking. “You know how a few weeks ago I brought up marriage…?” She nods at him. Loki nods too and gets on one knee, making Y/N smiles. There was a hint of nervousness in his voice, but he managed to keep it steady, and he spoke confidently. “I want to make you mine…completely…and I would like for you to do the same…will you marry me..?”

“Yes, Loki. Yes!” She hugs him.

He breathed a sigh of relief as she said yes. He was so excited and happy right now, he was over the moon. He smiled back at her and then he spoke softly. “Then…will you please take this, as a sign of my love?” Loki holds up the ring, waiting for her to accept it.

Y/N gave him her hand so he could put the ring on her. “It’s beautiful.”

Loki was absolutely overjoyed. It was one of the most perfect moments of his entire life. All his work in planning the proposal payed off. And seeing her accept the ring, his mother's ring, was the cherry on top. Loki was just so relieved and so happy, he was beaming with joy. "It used to be my mother's...I wanted you to have it..."

“Thank you.” She smiles before she kisses him.

He smiled back at her when he breaks the kiss, the entire moment was like a dream come true. He was so overjoyed that he almost couldn't keep his cool. This was the perfect moment. So he took her hand again and squeezed it softly. "I love you..."

“I love you too.”

A few months after, the royal wedding happened in Asgard. It was a beautiful wedding. A true fairy tale wedding. Loki and Y/N had finally married. The prince of Asgard had found true love and married his princess. Loki was happier than ever, with the woman he loved the most besides him. This was his happy ending, this was his happily ever after.

Five months after the wedding, Y/N started not feeling well. She usually woke up throwing up.

Loki was still asleep beside her when he suddenly woke up to the sound of her vomiting. He immediately jumped out of bed and went over to her. “A-Y/N…?

“Hm?” She had her eyes closed as another wave of nausea hit her.

Loki was now in distress and panic. He was getting worried as he tried to keep his cool and not let her know his real feelings yet. “A-are you okay..? You’ve been vomiting for a few days now….” He was so concerned about her at this point.

"I don't know, maybe it's something I eat?" She felt the nausea passing and open her eyes to look at him.

Loki still looked worried and concerned, he wasn’t quite buying her excuse. It didn’t make sense to him “But it’s been four days in a row…don’t you think that’s concerning a little?”

"I'll see a healer later if that's makes you feel better." She smiles at him.

He wasn’t reassured, he was still concerned about her. But he decided to not press the issue further for now “Okay…just promise me you’ll see one as soon as possible…”

Y/N nods and later that day, she went to the healer. When she got back to their room, she had a small box in her hand.

“What’s in that box…?” Loki was waiting for her back in the room.

"Oh, it's a present for you." She smiles handling him the box. "Open in.”

Loki’s nervous look remained on his face as he slowly took the box from her, not knowing what may be in there. But he then opened it and his eyes widened when he saw what was inside. His heart raced as he saw that it was a small pair of shoes. “What….are these…?”

"I don't know, Loki. What are these?" She asks him smiling.

“They look like…baby shoes…” Loki’s heart races as he realizes what she is implying. He didn’t even want to believe it. But then he spoke, and his tone was shaky. “Are you…”

Loki was speechless. It was official now; he was going to be a father. He was so happy, he felt so many different emotions rushing through him right now, but the main one was pure joy. “I’m going to be a dad…?”

"You're going to be a dad." Y/N spoke softly before she kissed her husband.

Nine months later, Y/N gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. Loki was overjoyed about it. Holding the baby boy in his arms felt like a dream come true. His life would never be the same after this, everything would be different. And it was for the better. This child would be the most important thing to him, there would be nothing that would compare to this precious baby. He kissed him on the forehead, smiling as he did so.

Loki was the best father ever to his son. He was everything Odin never was to him. Loki made sure the child had everything he could ever want or need. He made sure his childhood would be beautiful and happy and he made sure he gave him everything he never had. He made sure to give him all the love he had to offer to his precious son. He spent a great majority of his time with him. And Y/N made sure she took good care of him as well. She made sure to teach him about love and everything he needed to know about the world. It was a beautiful sight.

A year later, close to their son first birthday, Y/N had found out she was pregnant again. But this time, she was better prepared to make a surprise to Loki.

He had just put the baby to sleep and came back to their room. “I have a surprise for you.” Y/N said softly. She gave him a present box. "Open in.”

Loki open the box and just looked at the shirt in a bit of confusion. It said 'Daddy’s girl’ when they had a son. “Uh…? Did you buy this by mistake…?” Y/N shakes her head ‘no’. Loki was still quite confused. Why did she buy a ‘daddy’s girl’ shirt? They had a son, not a daughter. So, it made no sense for her to buy that. “Then why did you get it…?”

"Because our daughter will need it." Y/N was holding back her smile seeing Loki’s confusion.

He immediately tensed up at the word ‘daughter’ and realized what she was implying. Their daughter. She was implying that they were going to have a second child. He just couldn’t believe it. He couldn’t believe that it was really happening. Loki was overwhelmed with emotions, and it showed on his face. His mouth dropped open as he spoke softly. “Our daughter..?”

Y/N nods, making Loki’s heart raced and his breathing quickened as he realized the good news. His smile became so wide that he even felt his cheeks ache. He was going to be a father again? That was an overwhelming thought and he loved it. The happiness he felt was overwhelming. “We’re going to have a daughter…?” He finally asked. She nods again, a few tears escaping her eyes.

Loki was filled with so many emotions right now that he just embraced her in a tight and loving hug. He held her close to him, smiling as he did so. Loki’s happiness was palpable at this point. He couldn’t believe that he was going to be a father again. He just couldn’t. And it was so unbelievable that he almost couldn’t accept it just yet. But as he held his wife close to him, he embraced the idea of having another child.

They had some hard months ahead. Thor had given up the throne, so Loki was next in line to be king now. And a few more months, another baby, a beautiful and healthy baby girl, was born. Loki felt like he was on a cloud, he just couldn’t believe how his life was working out so well for him. With a gorgeous wife and two beautiful children, life couldn’t get any better.

He was truly overjoyed and grateful. His life was filled with nothing but love and blessings. There was nothing left that he could possibly ask for now. With two beautiful children, the best wife in the world, a kingdom to rule one day. Things couldn’t be better. And as he looked down at his babygirl, he thought about all of this. He loved his life, he loved being a father and he loved his family. And this was more than just a passing thought, this was his life. His happy, fulfilling, life.

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jo-writes-fanfic · 2 months

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Love & Mischief

Loki x Female!Reader

Rating: M (Mature)

Warnings: There's nothing explicit, some allusions to sex, probably language, violence, and heavy descriptions of grief and loss, although there is somewhat of a happy ending.

Word count: About 2.9k

Synopsis: You're Asgard's goddess of love and loyalty, but you've lost your god of mischief, how do you move forward?

Author’s note: This is set in Thor Love and Thunder. Also if you've ever seen the last scene of the show Reign, it has an inspiration in this fic too. I've had a lot of grief and loss in my life lately and this felt very therapeutic to write. I've tried writing for Loki a couple of times but always chickened out, so I really hope y'all enjoy this and hopefully there will be more to come!

I am no longer using a taglist! Instead if you would like to be notified when I post new fics follow my side blog @jo-writes-fanfic and turn your post notifications on!

“And what are you the goddess of?”

The words resounded in your head again and again and again.

When Hela said those words to you, years ago, you had fired back, so sure of yourself and your role in Asgard, your role in your life, your role in his life.

But now…

What was a goddess of loyalty and love who no longer had love? Who no longer believed in such things as fate and security in love?

Your powers should have died when he did.

It was an odd pairing to many, you knew. But it worked perfectly, your strengths and weaknesses worked in tandem and created a love worth fighting for.

But the fight was gone.

The god of mischief (and betrayal- some would argue) and the goddess of loyalty and love were a match made in Valhalla.

Until he was gone, ripped from you so violently that you still woke up screaming from nightmares regularly.

You sat next to your king in New Asgard during another security council meeting.

You were completely zoned out, thinking of bright blue-green eyes, dark curls, and a blade-thin smile. Valkyrie nudged you. “Hey, tone it down, you're bumming out the whole room,” she whispered.

You sighed and blinked out of your reverie, and finally noticed that the mood of the room, despite the recent good news that had been received (you can’t remember what it was - honestly, you forgot to pay attention, these meetings were very dull and tended to drone on) was altogether glum.

“Sorry,” you whispered back and reigned your mood in.

Normally, your powers were extremely helpful; tightening the bonds of loyalty in those around you, increasing love in both romantic and familial bonds, reading others moods - often influencing them, and sometimes even manipulating loyalties. But currently, drowning in grief as you had been the past several years, your powers were more of a burden than anything.

The heaviness in the room instantly lightened, and the conversation flowed in a more productive direction once more.

“We need to talk about these moods of yours,” Val said once she was satisfied that the meeting was going better.

“No thanks,” you grumbled, and promptly zoned out once more. You really preferred it when Thor was also a mess, before he got his shit together, and you weren’t the only one that hadn’t moved on from the repercussions of the war with Thanos. But you know what they say, misery loves company. And back then, no one nagged you as much to get your shit together.

“A little help here?” the king asked you, irritation in her tone.

Another disagreement had broken out, this time a fist fight. Honestly, you found it amusing and were inclined to let it go on for a while, but when Val glared at you, you stood up and clapped once.

Everyone stopped their movements immediately and looked up at you.

“Enough,” you said sternly. “Asgard, though we may have differing opinions, we all fight for the same thing, the prospering of New Asgard. Remember that,” you ordered, infusing the room with compliance, reminding them of their bonds of loyalty.

Everyone looked sheepish and sat back down.

You flourished a hand to Val and said, “My king,” giving her the floor.

She gave them all a rousing speech, it was honestly quite good, some of her best work, and then ended the dreadful meeting early, much to your relief.

“Good job, boss. Well, I’m off-”

“Not so fast,” she said as she caught your arm.

You sighed once again.

“Do we need to talk about this? About Lo-”

“Don’t say his name,” you hissed and the tension in the room raised significantly as your anger and grief filled the space, making the large room feel claustrophobic.

She sighed and took your hand.

“Look, I can’t pretend to know what you’re going through and what you’ve lost. We can all feel it from time to time and I know it’s an incredibly heavy burden. I’m just concerned for you and want to help you,” she said.

With tears in your eyes, you nodded.

“I’m concerned about me too,” you mumbled.

“What can I do to help? Tell me. Anything,” she practically begged.

“Nothing, unless you can drag him back from Valhalla,” you muttered and brushed past her.

And life continued to trudge forward. As a goddess, never had such a short amount of years felt so long, an eternity really.

You felt as if you were stuck in a time loop and every day was close to the same.

You woke up and for a split second forgot he was gone and reached across your bed to find it cold. Then, a wave of grief hit you that was so heavy, each and every time, that you forgot how to breathe.

Eventually you forced yourself out of bed, shoved some food in your mouth as you rushed out the door and met Valkyrie for early morning training. Then you usually sat by the sea and stared as the sun rose in the sky, thinking of him but trying so hard not to. And again, you forced yourself on.

You completed your daily tasks as the King’s right hand goddess; meetings, meetings, and more meetings usually. Most nights you sat at the bar, watched Valkyrie drink an ungodly amount, then when you got bored enough you walked through New Asgard.

You walked and walked, thinking if you moved enough, if you stayed ahead of your sadness, maybe it wouldn’t catch you in the morning.

It always did.

Rinse and repeat.

There were differences of course, sometimes, you had to leave New Asgard to do the whole ambassador thing. Occasionally Thor came to visit and brought along his various cohorts and problems.

Today was one of those days. You were improving in your hand to hand combat skills, according to your King, through your daily rigorous training sessions, which pleased you since you spent most days feeling like you wanted to fight the whole nine realms. And then, following your routine, you sat on the cliffside and stared at the sea.

You never even got to give him a proper funeral, you thought, which then made you think of Frigga and the beautiful funeral service for her that you had watched through tears.

A voice called your name, you looked back and for a moment, a blink and you miss it moment, you saw him. A flash of green-blue eyes and inky black hair, your heart skipped a beat and the vision was gone.

You shook your head in an attempt to clear it, honestly these flashes of him you’ve been having lately should be concerning, but instead you clung to them, desperate for any connection to him that you could get.

Although the true sight before you was one that made you smile, as Thor came up and wrapped you in a bear hug.

You wheezed and when he finally put you down he chuckled heartily.

“How are you?” he asked and you gave him a look like he should know the answer to that question.

“Well I have something that should cheer you right up,” he said as he steered you back towards the town.

“Does it involve needing my help to fight another dangerous life-threatening bad guy?” you asked wryly.

“Perhaps….” he said.

You huffed a laugh and said, “I’m in.”

The threat you were fighting turned out to be a whole lot more dangerous and life-threatening than you anticipated.

Which is how you found yourself on a ship with Thor, Jane, Valkyrie, and Korg on an unfortunate adventure to confront the God Butcher.

Watching Thor and Jane fall back in love was not doing much for your mood. Val handed you another drink and you downed it.

“Hey, hey, you’re totally bringing down the vibe, mate. This is supposed to be about love,” Korg said to you. You huffed and rolled your eyes.

You made an effort to lessen the dark cloud you’d brought on the ship.

“Do you think you’ll ever find love again?” Val asked you, after she confessed that she’d avoided any serious relationships for decades.

“No,” you said, like it was final.

“Really?” Korg asked. “Shouldn’t the goddess of love fall in love easily?”

You shot him a glare.

“I love. I love a great many people. But true love, like soulmates and shit, that only comes once in a lifetime. And after you’ve had it, you’re pretty much ruined for anything less. So no, I don’t think I’ll ever truly find love again,” you said with a sigh.

“Heavy,” he replied and you cracked up.

You laughed so hard you snorted, and at first your friends looked at you in shock, then joined you in laughter, and the room filled with love once again, the love of friendship, and you realized you’ve been overlooking the amount of love you actually had in your life due to your grief.

You grabbed Val’s hand and patted Korg’s disembodied head, and watched Thor and Jane reignite their flame of love.

“I love you all and am grateful for all the support you’ve given me,” you said.

“No final confessions,” Valkyrie said, “this is not the end for any of us.”

You nodded and then the ship reached its destination. The shadow realm yawned open in front of your vision and you gulped.

You had this horrible feeling, like dread, in the pit of your stomach, and you saw him again. That flash you’ve seen so many times recently, but more and more frequently since this misadventure started and that dread molted in your stomach into resolve.

You were certain and you were ready.

Of course the plan went immediately sideways. You crossed swords with Gorr the God Butcher and your heart threatened to pound out of your chest.

Yes, your sword fighting skills had improved, but not enough to be a good match for a seasoned warrior and god killer.

“What are you the Goddess of? Are you even worth my sword?” he growled out.

You gritted your teeth and went on the attack. Your rage filled the space as you dodged, slashed, and pushed him as hard as you could.

You could hear your friends yelling, but you couldn’t lose your focus even for a moment as he pushed back and fought with skill beyond your own.

And you realized you’d been doing this all wrong. You were fighting without your biggest asset, your own natural gifts and abilities. The powers that made you a goddess of Asgard.

He didn’t notice your impact on his mood because your rage didn’t even touch the deep well of his own, he didn’t feel your rage due to the mountain that was his own.

No, rage wouldn’t work, you thought, and as your swords crossed again you used your other hand to grab his.

Your power was more potent when you were skin to skin.

You poured love and loyalty into your enemy, thinking only of happiness and good memories, trying to lessen his rage. Trying to decrease his fight, hoping to convince him to put down his sword.

Your breath caught into a gasp as his emotions infected your own. His love and loyalty were intertwined with an ocean of grief. Just like your own.

And you were drowning.

His emotions, his rage at the injustice and unfairness and unending sadness felt so close to your own emotions that you were thrown back into a memory.

Your worst memory, actually, the day you lost him for good. And you knew your enemy was in his worst memory as well. The origin of his grief.

Just like you watched the origin of your grief as it unfolded in front of you once more. The reason for your nightmares, the reason you woke up screaming, you stepped back and gasped as the memory overcame you.

And Gorr did the same.

You think the sound might be the worst part. Loki’s choking. Or maybe it was the snapping sound, like a branch, a snap that ended everything for him. And for you.

And then there’s the sight. You couldn’t even describe it, it was too awful to explain. You’ve never spoken about it, even in the therapy sessions your King forced you to attend.

He thudded to the ground and you gasped as the vision cleared.

You were drowning in your own grief and it was clear Gorr was more accustomed to drowning than you.

He recovered one second quicker, and your battlefield reflexes were not quite up to par.

You slashed your sword up but all it did was clang against his where it was embedded in your stomach.

All the air whooshed from your lungs.

“You are not a god that deserves death, are you?” he said as he cocked his head. “But you lost faith in yourself, in what you stand for.”

You weren’t even sure you felt the pain. Maybe the shock inhibited your ability to feel any pain. You’d been injured before, sure, but you always felt the sharpness of it. But of course you’ve never been hurt this severely.

You tried to speak, but it came out as a groan.

“I am sorry,” he said and slowly slid the sword from your abdomen and you fell to your knees. Blood gushed and you saw that flash again.

“Beautiful,” you mumbled as you saw the flash of a wry smirk, eyes full of love, and a hand outstretched towards you. Beckoning you.

Finally, you thought.

The last thing you heard was Thor roaring and your king calling your name as she caught you before your body hit the ground.

There was darkness, utter darkness, and then a solid weight beneath you.

You realized you were laying down. You were laying on the most comfortable bed you’d ever had the pleasure of sleeping on.

Sleeping? Are you sleeping? Wasn’t there something…something painful? You couldn’t remember.

You blinked your eyes open and let out all the air in your lungs.

Your eyes filled with tears, this time happy tears. For the first time in what felt like an eternity, you cried happy tears.

Loki laid beside you, close enough for you to touch, staring at you with such love in his eyes that tears spilled down your cheeks.

“Oh,” you gasped.

He reached out and cupped your cheek, wiping the tears away.

You sobbed, and he shushed you even as he pulled you closer. You buried your face in his bare chest and he crushed you against him, so tight, tight enough that you were sure he would never let you go again.

He ran his hand up and down your back, and with a start you realized you were void of clothes as well.

You awoke in the afterlife just as you would have every day of the best years of your life with him; naked in his bed after a night of making love with adoration in his eyes as he watched you sleep.

You took a shuddering breath and pulled back to look at him in the eyes once more, your hands never leaving his body, you ran them up his chest, across his face, twirled your fingers in his hair.

“This is Valhalla, isn’t it?” you asked.

“Yes, my love,” he said, and kissed the fresh tears on your cheeks away.

Then he kissed your lips. It was a delicate thing at first, but then it molted and grew until it felt exactly like it used to. The kiss cemented you to him, secured you right where you should be, where he had been waiting for you.

And all of the pain you experienced before that kiss didn’t even matter anymore. Because you loved him and he loved you, and that’s all.

His lips moved against yours and your tears mixed with his and it was perfect. You loved him, that’s all.

You weren’t angry at him for dying and leaving you alone. You weren’t drowning in heavy emotions anymore. You held no grudges or hard feelings over anyone or anything anymore, not now that you were in the arms of your greatest love once more.

“It’s been so long,” you gasped out when he pulled back and smiled.

“I know,” he said with a small smile.

“I’m sorry,” you said.

“I am as well,” he replied, simply and sweetly.

You felt light as a feather. You felt released from your pain and anguish. You were with him again, and that’s all that mattered.

“Isn’t the introduction to Valhalla traditionally supposed to be much different?” you asked.

He smirked and mischief twinkled in his eyes, “It is possible I managed to bend some rules for you.”

You huffed a laugh and pulled him into another kiss. One that could’ve lasted seconds or could’ve lasted a lifetime. It didn’t really matter. You had eternity in the hall of warriors with your Loki, and you were secure knowing you died fighting for the ones you loved.

“Would you like me to give you the grand tour?” he whispered in your ear as he pulled back from your lips and began kissing his way across your skin.

“Maybe later,” you said as you wrapped your arms around him and pulled him atop of you.

“We have an eternity,” he promised and kissed you, slow and deep.

Tagging those who showed interest in this fic (thanks for the support!) : @thespiralstaircasewriter @bellaisasleep @elly-hiddlesherloki @izhunny @drachenkinder @spacefloosie

#loki #loki x reader #loki x you #loki x y/n #loki laufeyson #loki laufesyon x reader #loki imagine #loki odinson #loki friggason #loki angst

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mochie85 · 8 months

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Truth Or Dare

These Wicked Games Collection Masterlist | Complete Masterlist

Summary: The first contact you and Loki had made in weeks, since the falling out that fateful morning. A game of Truth or Dare makes you both confront your feelings. Suggested Song: "Do I Wanna Know" by The Arctic Monkeys Word Count: 2.9K Pairing: Loki x Female Reader Warnings: Smut adjacent/Mature, a game of truth or dare, a kiss between Reader and Steve Rogers. 😏

Pent-up days bled into lonely nights. You retreated into your room, save for mission briefings and assignments that Fury would send you too.

Your interactions with Loki had been civil. Not a word was spoken between you two that didn’t involve other people or the task at hand. And when you found yourself in each other’s company, alone, you would just leave the room.

What you didn’t see were the glances and the stares in your direction. Not Loki’s, but the team’s.

“They must’ve fucked,” Bucky whispered.

“Absolutely, they did,” Natasha confirmed.

“How do you know?” Steve asked. “You can’t know that.” The three of them were watching through the glass wall of the conference room. You were showing the new recruit, Wanda, around the common areas and Loki was watching you through side glances and narrowed eyes.

“Do you remember how he acted during poker night?” Bucky asked.

“Ya, he was a real piece of work. I thought we were gonna have to call HR or something the way he was coming on to her,” Steve spurned.

“Ya, and now…that stopped. He got over his infatuation.” Bucky observed.

“Or he wasn’t enough to satisfy her.” Natasha counteroffered. Both men looked at her quizzically. “I mean come on. Not once had she looked in his direction. She’s over him. But he hasn’t been able to keep his eyes off her!” Natasha said proudly of you. Neither Steve nor Bucky could argue with her assessment.

You had just walked into your room when a loud knock came on your door. “Come in” you yelled across your apartment.

“Hey,” Nat said, walking in and sitting on your duvet. She eyed you up and down looking at your blouse and pencil skirt. “Did you just have a meeting?”

“Ya, with Fury.” You said, mid unbutton.

“Don’t get undressed yet. The rest of the team is on a mission again tonight. So, we thought we’d have a little movie night to welcome Wanda.”

“Oh, that’s nice. I think she would love that. I’m down,” you said excitedly.

“Great! Same crew as poker night.” Nat said getting up to leave.

“On second thought…”

“What?! What is it?” Nat asked running through a list of possible scenarios and conclusions in her head. “Oh my God, is it because of Laufeyson?”

“WHAT?! No! Why would you say that? Pfft…of course not!” You laughed. “Laufeyson? Why would I care? I don’t- I don’t care,” you prattled.

“You guys slept together, didn’t you?” She smirked, wanting confirmation of her earlier theory. You stayed quiet. Just staring at her, not knowing how to answer her question. It wasn’t like you were ashamed of it. It was just that it ended on a very sour note. “Your face says it all. Tell me everything!”

You sat there, telling her about the amazing night you had weeks ago. How you brazenly went to his room that night of the poker game and had your own game. But then you also told her about the following morning and how neither of you have really talked about it since.

“You like him, don’t you?” she asked with a Cheshire grin. “You really like him!” You groaned and flopped yourself on the bed, hiding underneath your pillows. “I honestly don’t see the problem. The man was packed! And if you’ve managed to ride it and leave it. More power to you.”

“Natasha!”

“What?! I remember the poker game. I remember him stripping!” she laughed as you rolled your eyes.

“How could I forget? He made a show about it in front of me when he could’ve easily just magicked his clothes off!”

“Look. Just come. Prove to him that you don’t care what he said to you. That it was a game for you too and nothing more. Right?”

“Right…” you agreed hesitantly.

You followed Nat down the hallway, praying to any powers-that-be that Loki wouldn’t show up. Wanda bound up to the two of you and she blocked your view of the common area. She was very excited about the movie, thanking Steve for letting her choose it. When she moved to sit, was when your eyes landed on the recliner across from you. Decked out in a fitted white shirt and loose black denim, sat Loki, with his arms crossed and legs open as if in invitation.

You sat on the couch to the other side of him, facing the other direction, pretending to be interested in the projector Bucky was trying to work out. Bucky smacked it a few times till the light flickered momentarily and then went black again.

“Why is this not working?!” Bucky raised his arm to hit it again before you and Vision stopped him.

“You know, I think we should play a little game to take our mind off things while those two try to fix the monitor,” suggested Natasha. “A little game of Truth or Dare, perhaps?” The game got your attention and you looked directly at the redhead, affixing your death stare to her pouty lips.

What are you up to? You mouthed to her. She ignored you completely and turned around. “Ooh, can I go first? I love this game!” Wanda asked bouncing excitedly. “I’ll start with Steve!”

“Awe why do you have to start with me?” He asked petulantly.

“Cuz you’re our fearless leader. So lead!” Natasha pushed. Steve only rolled his eyes.

“Truth or dare?” Wanda asked.

Steve lowered his head down in defeat, smiling, trying to be a good sport. “Dare,” he said to the resounding oohs and aahs from the group.

“I dare you to demonstrate the best kiss you’ve ever had.” Wanda smiled innocently at the heckles and jabs thrown in Steve’s direction. Although, you got the feeling that she was hiding more than she was letting on.

“What? Like in the air?” Steve proceeds to pucker his lips and kiss an imaginary person in front of him.

“No! OK, that’s… kind of gross!” Everyone laughed.

“How ‘bout on her!” Nat interrupted, pointing to you as she sat back and smiled, watching the whole thing play out.

Heat ran down your back as you looked at Steve. He gave you a boyish, heartwarming smile that almost took your breath away. You watched as he got up and made his way over to you. Did everything just go in slow motion? He lifted your chin to face him. “May I?” he asked so sweetly, and you nodded in response. With bright blue eyes shut, he leaned in and kissed you.

It was soft at first. He gently sucked on your upper lip and splayed his hands open, cupping your cheek. You had missed this. The closeness. The intimacy.

You missed him!

You started thinking about Loki and the few erotically charged moments you spent with him. You moaned at Steve’s touch, imagining it was Loki you were kissing. Steve took that as a sign to tilt his head and his tongue dove in further. It slid across yours, sending a tingling sensation down to your core.

Natasha watched Loki. As Loki watched you. The scowl on his face getting deeper and deeper as you clung to Steve tighter and tighter. Steve pulled away slowly, as he breathed out. You didn’t realize you were holding tight to his lapels, on your tippy toes, keeping him close to you.

“Ok. My turn!” Steve smiled and turned around abruptly as if he hadn’t given you one memorable kiss. You stood there stunned into place, slowly turning to face away from Loki. Steve looked at Natasha to exact his revenge. “Natasha. Truth or dare?”

“Truth.” She answered confidently.

“Have you ever fantasized about anyone in this room, intimately?”

“Yes.” She answered and Bucky’s ears picked up, looking at the deadly assassin through his side eyes.

“Who?!” Steve asked aloud.

“Fixed!” Bucky yelled as the monitor came to life.

“One more before the movie starts.” Nat turned to you and asked you with wild eyes and a mischievous grin. “Truth or dare?”

You took a deep breath and sighed, “Dare.” Nat’s grin got even wider as she walked up to you and whispered her dare in your ear.

“Oh come on! We all want to hear it!” Wanda said. Your eyes turned wide and the expression on your face dropped when Natasha pulled away.

“Go on. You have to do it! You chose dare.” She goaded you. You narrowed your eyes at her as you started making your way over to Loki on his lone recliner. His arms were still folded, and his legs were still open.

The confusion on his face was telling. It got even more concerned when you turned around and sat directly on his lap. Loki held his arms in the air, unsure of what to do or where to put them. “Excuse me?!” he finally said.

The room looked at both of you, chuckling and awe-faced. Nat looked like she had won a match that you were unwittingly a player in.

“Just go with it, okay?” you whispered to Loki.

“Go with what? Why are you sitting on my lap?” Loki bellowed.

“Shh! The movie is starting,” Natasha scolded the both of you, turning around with a self-satisfying grin. The audacity! The fucking nerve of this woman! You were going to pay her back somehow. You didn’t know where or how, but one day! Best friend be damned! Maybe you’ll reveal who she’s been having fantasies about. Maybe you’ll hide all her guns. Yeah! And her stun bracers too!

Loki placed his hands on the armrest. He was euphoric at the turn of events. But highly confused as to what the dare was to make you sit on his lap. How long will he have? Are you going to sit here for the entire movie? Can he touch you? Norns how he longed to touch you! It’s been weeks since that awful morning. And every time he tried to talk to you, you would leave the room. Or there were more pressing matters at hand.

His pride and confidence left him the morning you left his bed. He thought he made it very clear how in love with you he was. But you either didn’t believe him or you were just playing a game with him.

He didn’t know how to approach you anymore. But one thing is for certain, if you keep moving the way you were, he would have to excuse himself immediately.

“Stop moving!” he ordered.

“I can’t help it. You’re not exactly comfortable to sit on.” You whisper-growled back at him.

“That’s not what it looked like a couple weeks back. I seem to recall you enjoyed sitting on my lap.” Without warning, Loki grabbed your waist and pulled you closer to his frame. Seating you right in between his open legs. Right on the cushion of the seat. “Better?” he asked.

“Yes,” you said begrudgingly. “Thank you.”

“Always a pleasure, darling.”

The first half hour of the movie was hard to follow. Every breath Loki would take, any small movement he would make, you felt it right behind you. You sat perfectly stiff. Your back, like a ruler, not wanting to give in to his warmth and comfort.

As the movie progressed, you tried to make the best of your awkward situation. The team had settled and forgotten about the two of you in the back of the room. You yourself got lost in the dramatic plot of the movie. All too soon, your arms grew tired. You relaxed them onto the armrest, forgetting that they were already occupied by Loki’s. You tried to relax them to your sides but were met with his thighs on either side of you.

Loki didn’t seem fazed by any of it. His breathing was even. His heartbeat was steady as a drum, albeit thumping loudly and hard behind you. The only tell he gave away was the movement of his head next to yours. His quick inhale of breath as he surreptitiously smelled the perfume of your hair.

How long has it been? Days? Weeks? A lifetime, since you’ve felt his touch. And here you are now, sitting on his lap, hoping that the growing hardness you felt behind you is what you think it is and not just his belt buckle.

“Truth or dare, darling?” Loki whispered in your ear, breaking his resolve.

“Loki, I’m tired of these games. I don’t-”

“Truth? Or dare?” he insisted. You gave out a big sigh and rolled your eyes, knowing he could see your expression. You looked around at your team, engrossed in the movie.

“They can’t hear us as long as you whisper,” Loki said answering your unspoken question.

“Truth.” You answered him.

“Really?” he asked surprised.

“Well, a dare got me into this mess,” you reasoned.

“What was Natasha’s dare?” Of all the things he could’ve asked you. You didn’t think he would be too curious, but it was also the one answer that would leave you too vulnerable.

“She dared me to-”

“Sit on my lap?”

“No!” A beat was taken before you had the courage to say what you needed to.

“What did she say, verbatim?”

“Her exact words were…to sit with the person I had feelings for…for the entire movie,” you whispered.

Heat crawled up your spine. You can feel your embarrassment radiate through your clothes and add to the heat that Loki was giving off. You felt so flushed and nervous that you started rambling. “And you had taken up the entire space with your long legs. Clearly, there was nowhere else for me to sit but your lap. I mean honestly. It was almost as if you didn’t want anyone sitting next to you. What’s the point in coming to these group exercises if you don’t intend to be amiable? I-”

“Shh,” Loki said putting his finger to your lips. “Keep your voice down, darling. Or else my enchantment will fail.” You looked around at your teammates who were still engrossed in the movie.

He pulled you closer to the chair, flushed against his firm chest. His large hand cradled your stomach while his other fingers continued to explore your lips. They tickled you as he ran them gingerly, tracing your cupid’s bow down to the soft pout of your bottom lip. He kept his stare at your mouth, lost in thought.

“Dare me, darling.” He whispered.

“That’s not how the game works, Loki,” you smiled.

“Dare me to kiss you. Please.” His plea took you by surprise. Desire wrapped around the two of you. Squeezing the air from both your lungs, leaving you wanting.

Breathlessly you said, “I dare you to kiss me Lo-” You hadn’t finished your sentence before his lips hungrily descended on yours. His hand cupped your cheek and kept your head to his. Your hands intertwined with his and he held on to you tighter.

Loki’s kiss was deep and demanding. There was a sense of urgency to it as if he was running out of time and he had yet to get his fill of you. He pulled away briefly to breathe but his appetite only grew. He needed to kiss you. He needed to touch you. Everywhere.

With his eyes closed, his lips found your neck and artfully marked your skin. His hands flew to the buttons of your shirt, opening them one by one as you laid your head back onto his shoulders. You gave in to him. Into his touch. His hands reached inside and cupped your breast, making you moan.

A well-timed explosion happened in the movie that you and Loki had already disregarded. It pulled your attention away from his yearning, giving you logic long enough to remember where you were.

“Loki…” you whimpered. He ignored your cries and was lost in his own spiral. “Loki I…I need you. But not here. Not in front of everyone.”

“Why not in front of everyone? That way Rogers knows what a proper kiss looks like,” he growled. His jealousy made you titter. “Let me wipe that moment out of your memories. Let me replace it with my lips.” He grabbed your chin and kissed you again with no regard for keeping it quiet. His entire body shook with emotion. Longing, jealousy, dominance.

“I was thinking of you,” you admitted panting onto his lips. “I was imagining I was kissing you.”

Loki stared into your eyes as he let that information swirl in his thoughts. His growing smile sent shivers throughout your body. You felt carnal pleasure in knowing you had pleased him somehow.

His voice changed. His eyes had grown darker. He inhaled through his teeth as he praised you, “That’s my girl,” he snarled. His hands continued to roam underneath your blouse. His fingers pinched your aching nipples through the lace of your bra, sending you jolts of pleasure down to your already heated sex. “Are you going to continue being a good girl for me?”

You nodded devotedly. “Good,” Loki growled, fighting to keep his desire at bay. “I want you to go to my room and wait for me on my bed. Can you do that for me, pet?”

You moaned when he nipped your jaw gently waiting for you to answer. You slowly got up, feeling the rush of your excitement pool down into your panties. You walked slowly, trying not to get the attention of the others, as you snuck behind the chair where Loki was sitting.

“Oh and pet…” he whispered grabbing your hand gently. “…Don’t think of running away to make me chase you like last time. Unless,” spreader bar “You’d like to be cuffed and barred again.” He smiled, daring you.

⬅️20 Questions | House of Card➡️

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michelleleewise · 1 year

Text

Chocolate and promises

Pairing: Loki x female reader (eventually)

Warnings: mentions of domestic abuse, slight mention of blood, hitting, mentions of bruises and injuries (not graphic), toxic relationship, reader needs a hug, possessiveness, controlling behavior, self deprecating thoughts, minor dark themes, loki comforting reader

Summary: your friendship with Loki and grown over the last two years, until something threatened to take it away

A/n- this chapter will have two parts. A&B, it was too long for one part lol.... Graphics by: @harlequin-hangout 💚💚

Part one--part two: a-

You ran down the hall making your way to Loki's room, wanting him to be the first to know, You bounced on your feet knocking on the door hearing shuffling on the other side, smiling as the door opened revealing.. "oh..hey, is Loki in there?" You asked smiling at the man. "Whose asking?" He huffed crossing his arms. Another jealous one..you thought to yourself "y/n...best friend. And you are?" You asked holding your hand out watching him look down his nose at it "Jason.." he sneered keeping his arms crossed. "Well..Jason is Loki here?" You asked again when the door opened further revealing your Loki.

Hello my dear, how are you?" He asked stepping into the hall wrapping you in a hug. "Great! I have news, but your bodyguard here wouldn't let me pass...I must not be on the list." You said as Loki turned to the man. "Just because I shared my bed with you for the night does not give you liberty to tell my friend anything, am I clear?" He snapped seeing Jason's eyes widen "I'm sorry, it won't happen again." He said stepping back "your right, it will not. See that you are gone when I return." He said turning back to you "what was your news darling?" He asked guiding you down the hall to the kitchen.

"Oh yes! Allen asked me to move in with him!" You screeched as loki rounded the island grabbing the kettle "isn't it a bit soon y/n?" He asked seriously filling the kettle "we've been dating six months loki, dont be such a prude." You snarked sitting on the stool "I beg your pardon?" He feigned offense, one hand on his chest "I thought you would be happy for me." You said seriously "I am dear, I just don't want you to rush into anyrhing." He said smiling "some of us don't have as much time as you old man." You snarked "well if your just going to call me an old maid.." he started "no! No..I just...I'm happy." You said smiling as Loki walked around the island "if you are happy then I am." He said pulling you into a hug.

"And everything is going to be great! You'll still see me here, and don't even think your getting out of our movie nights." You smiled hearing him laugh "Well I should hope not, what else do I have to look forward to?" He asked grabbing two cups from the cabinet "Oh I don't know....jason." you smiled seeing him glare at you. "Sorry about that by the way." You said looking down "you did nothing wrong, he had no right to say anything. Besides...he wasn't that good anyway." He said shrugging making you laugh "oh..so no loss then?" You asked as he slid a cup to you "Darling, as long as I have you, I'll be fine." He smiled "ooo careful, your bordering on sentiment." You said sipping your tea. "Only for you my dear." He smiled.

Loki looked at his phone for the umpteenth time seeing no messages, sighing as he set it down. It was going on six months since you moved out of the tower and he felt like he was losing you more and more each day. He sat back in his chair looking out the window thinking about the last few months. He had noticed your behavior slowly start to change from your happy, bubbly self that he adored beyond reason, to a quiet reserved shell. The drastic change unsettled him, as well as your change in wardrobe. Where once you wore bright pastels, were replaced with blacks and greys with the occasional dark blue. Not to mention the only skin showing was from your neck up and your hands. It gave him an uneasy feeling.

"Friday...is y/n in the tower?" He called out to the ceiling "no Mr Laufeyson she is not." The AI responded making him sigh. He hated what he was about to do but for you he would walk through Helhiem barefoot. He got to his feet and made his way down to the labs. His mind raced with possible scenarios as the elevator traveled down. If that insignificant human hurt you he would end him in the most painful way he could imagine. He was pulled from his thoughts as the elevator dinged, the doors sliding open.

Stark!" He yelled across the lab making Tony jump "geeze Rudolph give a guy a heads up." He said holding his chest "I need to know where y/n is, I have not heard from her in quite some time." Loki said crossing his arms. "Oh, she put her notice in." Tony said sitting down "what does that mean?" Loki snapped staring at him "it means she quit, she isn't here anymore." Tony explained "what..why?" Loki asked taken aback "something about her boyfriend wanting her to stay home or something" Tony said running a hand through his hair "but I told her she's welcome back whenever she wants." Tony explained. "Very well, thank you stark." Loki said turning around. "You've seen it too...haven't you?" Tony called out making Loki stop "whatever you do...don't get caught." Tony said, loki nodded before heading back to his room, something was going on and he was going to get to the bottom of it.

You heard the doorbell ring, hurrying to the door before it woke Allen, opening it seeing Loki standing there "H..hey...what are you doing here?" You asked looking around "I have not heard from you, so i.." he started "I'm fine..really." you hurried fidgeting with the sleeve of your sweater. You looked up seeing him frown. "Sorry I haven't messaged, I've just been really busy." You said smiling. "That's quite alright dear, I was wondering since you missed movie night, Stark is hosting a small evening for us, and I wanted you to join me." He smiled watching you. "Oh...um I don't know." You trailed off looking down when Loki gently grabbed your hand.

"Please darling, i..I miss you." He said, looking up seeing his eyes soften. "How can I say no to you." You said seeing him smile "then I shall see you there?" He asked "yes, I'll be there." You agreed when Loki leaned forward wrapping his arms around you making you stiffen before he stepped back looking at you "I'll see you tonight " He smiled turning to leave as you slowly closed the door. "Your not going." You heard from behind you making you jump. You turned heading for the kitchen "have you been talking to him again?" Allen asked making you freeze "what did you tell him?" He continued stalking towards you. "You took my phone, how could i...." You were cut off by the back of Allen's hand hitting your cheek, knocking you to the floor, touching your lip seeing red on your fingers.

"Are you talking back?" He snarled looking down at you. "No, I just..." you trailed off as his fingers threaded through your hair pulling harshly "I think someone needs taught a lesson." He said, pulling you up dragging you towards the bedroom "Allen stop! Your hurting me!" You yelled as he opened the door pushing you inside. "You know what to do." He snarled, kicking the door shut. You walked towards the bed, closing your eyes hearing his belt buckle "I think twenty should do it? Don't you think?" He asked walking up behind you. You stayed silent knowing that was the best option.

You laid awake, wincing when you rolled to your side, your eye and cheek stinging. You waiting for Allen to doze off, listening as his breathing evened out you knew it was now or never. You slowly crept out of bed, padding to the closet to grab whatever clothes you could find in the dark before going to the door, looking back hearing him snore you slowly opened the door, slipping out. You walked to the living room quickly throwing on the t-shirt and sweatpants, grabbing your shoes as you tip toed to the door. Slowly opening it to freezing as it creaked, looking back to the bedroom door praying he hadn't heard. After a few minutes you carefully slipped out closing the door behind you. You released the breath you had been holding as you bent down slipping your shoes on, looking up and down the dark street you sighed, starting towards the tower.

You slunk down alleyways and backstreets until you saw the top of the tower, taking a quick look around before making a run for it. You knew Allen would be awake soon, If he wasn't already and he would definitely notice you missing. You heart raced as you made it to the end of the alley across from the tower, your eye throbbed and your lip burned where it was split but you were so close you could taste it. If you could just make it over there everything would be fine. You took a deep breath, looking up an down the street before bolting to the doors, pulling them as hard as you could but they wouldn't budge. "Shit!...Tony!...Loki!" You yelled as loud as you could knowing they couldn't hear you.

You heard a car up the street, hurrying behind the building trying to hide when the car stopped. "Y/n! I know your out here!" You heard Allen yell making you blood run cold. "Just come home and I'll forgive you." He said when you heard footsteps rounding the building. "You know I love you I just got upset, let's talk about it." He continued. You looked around seeing a dumpster against the building, quickly running over lifting yourself in "stop making this harder then it needs to be!" He yelled when you heard a door fly open "Al, hey...what are you doing here? You heard Tony's voice. "Oh hey Tony, y/n and I had a small disagreement and she left. I thought she might be here." You heard Allen say back making you scoff.

"Well I haven't seen her, but if I do..." he trailed off "what is going on?" You heard a deep voice "loki.." you whispered, feeling a tear run down your cheek "hey lokes, Al here lost y/n." Tony said. "What did you do to her?" You heard Loki ask sternly "that's none of your business." You heard Allen snap back. "She's my friend, so I'm making it my business!" You heard Loki yell before the scuffle of footsteps "ok, ok calm down, Al go home. I'll call you if I see her." Tony said when you heard footsteps retreat. "You will not call him!" You heard Loki yell "of course not! But I wanted him to leave." Tony said. You released the breath you were holding, shifting to lift the lid of the dumpster.

You peeked out seeing Loki holding his daggers and Tony with his blaster on "Hey guys...it's just me." You said quietly, lifting the lid higher "Oh my God..y/n?" Loki said, rushing over he lifted you out like you weighed nothing, setting you on your feet but not letting go "what were you doing in there?" He asked brushing trash off your clothes "he was right behind me, i..." you trailed off feeling your eyes burn. "Well he's gone now, let's get you inside." Tony said holding the door open. Loki gently grabbed your arm guiding you, keeping your head down so your hair would cover your face. Making it upstairs you walked into the common room seeing it empty.

"Ever the insomniacs huh?" You laughed "Well i was headed to bed, y/n your welcome to any room you like, just let me know." Tony said heading back to the elevator "ok, thank you Tony." You said looking down "anytime kid...Loki." Tony said stepping onto the elevator. "I should probably find a room." You said keeping your eyes down, not wanting him to see how weak you had been when you felt his fingers under your chin, slowly lifting your head up to look at him. His eyes meeting your one, traveling across your face when you felt his thumb lightly brush you puffy cheek "l..loki...i..." you tried, feeling a lump rise in your throat when he wrapped his arms around you, gently cradling your head to his chest

"I am sorry y/n, I should have come sooner." He whispered, pressing his cheek to your head "no, it wasn't your fault loki, it was.." you started when he suddenly pulled back "no, absolutely not. None of this was your fault." He said through gritted teeth "I will have his hands for touching you." He growled beginning to pull away "no loki...please. he's not worth it." You said grabbing his shirt "he does not deserve his pathetic existence." He snarled trying to pull free "Please, don't go...stay with me." You whispered making him stop and look at you, his eyes softening "very well, anything for you darling." He said relaxing. "Help me find a room?" You asked looking down the hall. "If you wish, you could stay in my room tonight, everything is already set up." Loki said smiling.

"Are you sure? I don't want to impose." You said fidgeting with your sweater. "You could never impose, come on let's get you settled." He said holding his arm out you looped yours around his as he guided you towards his room. "I'm not displacing Jason am i?" You asked smiling hearing him laugh "I would throw him out of the window for you dear." He said making you laugh "haven't you done that before?" You asked nudging him with your elbow "and I will again." He said looking over smiling at you. You made it to his room as he opened the door waving you in first. You looked around, smiling seeing nothing had changed.

"If you wish you can take a shower, there are towels In the bathroom, have you eaten?" Loki asked turning the lights on "um. No.." you said pulling on your sleeve "ok, I will make you something while you get cleaned up." He said walking into the small kitchen. "Loki.." you trailed off, his eyes meeting yours "Thank you, for everything." You smiled "I would burn the realm for you dear without hesitation." He smiled back. You walked to the bathroom closing the door with a soft click before pulling your sweater over your head, grimacing seeing the bruises littering your skin. Slowly running your fingers over them you finally let yourself feel as tears streamed down your cheeks.

Sinking to the floor you brought your knees to your chest quietly sobbing as the weight was lifted. Your life wasn't your own, it was Allen's. He had taken everything from you, and you were too weak to stop him. You thoughts spiraled when you heard a soft knock on the door "everything alright darling?" You heard Loki ask "yes, I'm ok." You called back wiping your face. "I have some sleep clothes for you when you are done, they are on the bed." He said "ok, thank you." You said standing up. Looking in the mirror at your puffy face you sighed "i want my life back." You said to yourself, walking over to the shower turning it on.

You came out of the bathroom wrapped in a towel seeing Loki reading in the living room "I'll be right back" you said trying to duck into the bedroom, but your were sure he saw. You quickly dried off, slipping the clothes on he had left, smelling his cologne on the shirt making you sigh. You grabbed the towel throwing it in the basket seeing his cloak hanging by the door. Thoughtlessly reaching your hand out feeling the material "how is that so soft." You said grabbing it wrapping it around your shoulders seeing it engulphed you as you wrapped it around you. You walked into the living room seeing Loki set his book down "I see you've taken to claiming my things again." He laughed, standing up. "Oh i...um sorry I can put it back." You said starting to take it off when Loki grabbed it pulling it back over you "no, you are welcome to anything you wish darling." He smiled.

"Now, come eat." He said guiding you to the couch, he sat down patting the space between his legs holding up a hair brush "come darling, sit down." He said as you sat down on the floor between his knees, seeing he made you grilled cheese and soup. "T..thank you Loki." You said, feeling the lump return to your throat as he threaded his fingers through your hair. "You are welcome, now eat while I work my magic." He said making you smile. You took a few bites of your sandwich, feeling the brush glide through your hair, closing your eyes sighing "tilt your head Darling." He said as you shifted, laying your head on his thigh feeling his fingers seperate and twist your hair.

"Did you know, where I am from when we go in to battle and return victorious we place a braid in our to symbolize our strength and courage." You heard him say, your scalp tingling feeling his fingers gently glide through your hair "and you my dear have ridden through Hel and emerged triumphant." He said tying the end of the braid setting the brush down. "Darling.." he trailed off, looking down seeing your fast asleep. Running his fingers along the braid you shifted slightly, his cloak slipping down your shoulder revealing a bruise traveling around your neck, clenching his fist he took a deep breath, trying to calm himself as you nuzzled his leg making him smile.

He got up, cradling your head he lifted you up carrying you to the bedroom gently laying you down tucking his cloak around you. Slowly backing up he felt your fingers wrap around his wrist "loki...please.." you trailed off, eyes still closed "yes darling? Do you need something?" He asked watching you "stay.." you mumbled pulling on his arm "I don't know y/n.." he said when you scooted over pulling him with you "please.." you whispered. He sighed, flicking his wrist changed into a shirt and sweatpants he laid down next to you as you curled up to his side, nuzzling your face into his shoulder making him laugh. He ran his fingers through your hair hearing you sigh. "Sweet dreams, my little valkyrie." He smiled closing his eyes.

@vbecker10 @lokisgoodgirl @sinsandguilt @high-functioning-lokipath @mochie85 @slytherclaw1227 @jaidenhawke @budugu @xorpsbane @schizonephilim @lokidokieokie @holdmytesseract @your-taste-on-my-lips @lokixryss @asgardianprincess1050 @tallseaweed @aniar4wniak @sekaishell @lokispetblogs @loopsisloops @trojanaurora @lonadane @yelkmelk @stupidthoughtsinwriting @123forgottherest @silverfire475 @goblingirlsarah @commanding-officer @glitterylokislut @kkdvkyya @cueloki @daggers-and-mischief @sititran @witchyblue @verycollectivecreator @nixymarvelkins @chantsdemarins @shinraski @usagishira @nightshadelm @filthyhiddles @dukes2581 @assemblingavenger @lulubelle814 @irishhappiness @wolfsmom1 @luvlady-writes @lovingchoices14 @thomase1

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hunny-beann · 5 months

Text

Desiderium I

Loki Laufeyson x f!Reader

-> Part II

Note: This fic absolutely breaks cannon in multiple ways, but I felt the urge to write this and created it thus lol, so I hope you enjoy regardless (and for my own sanity, we'll just call this an avenger!Loki au).

Synopsis:

Loki is plagued by a dream thrust upon him as punishment during his imprisonment, and finds that even once he regains his freedom, he still can't move past the vision of the life he could have had with you. And when those around him struggle to understand his sorrows, he decides to show them firsthand what he endured while asleep that night, and all that he lost both by waking up, and by making all of the wrong choices for far too long.

Oh, but it's never truly over, is it?

And your sudden reappearance proves that.

Warnings: Angst, mentions of pregnancy

Word Count: 5,057

"Does he ever stop sulking?"

Tony muttered under his breath after sparing a quick glance toward the aesir God of Mischief that sat in the corner of the room, staring into a cloud of green created by his own hand with a type of longing he had worn almost constantly for months now.

At first, many had thought his sullen nature to be a result of his capture and subsequent imprisonment, but even now that he was far more free to roam and do what he pleased (within reason), his somber attitude still had yet to let up.

In fact, some would even swear that it had gotten worse.

The God of Thunder included, and also in particular.

From the beginning, Thor had perhaps been the biggest defender of his younger brother, and of course he had, how could he not be?

But even still, when it came to the questioning of Loki's less than enthusiastic (and at times, borderline concerning) behavior, Thor somehow managed to become even more defensive of his confusing family member and all of the quirks that he seemed to have.

This occasion included.

He turned toward Anthony Edward Stark with a slight frown, a sigh that seemed reserved purely for situations concerning Loki passing his lips,

"All of this has been rather... difficult for him. There is much that he misses about our realm, and even more that he has lost."

Tony rose a brow at that, fighting back a groan at the seemingly constant dramatics of the "Odinson" siblings.

Who would have thought that two gods could be so annoyingly theatrical?

"A lot of people have lost a lot of things, Point Break. Some of them at his hand, in case you need a reminder."

Tony muttered, struggling to find sympathy for the green themed deity sitting across the room, a look of deep longing and sorrow in his gaze as he continued staring into the cloud of his own creation.

Thor sighed again.

"I do not, Stark, nor does my brother. He had a multitude of things revealed to him in dreams delivered by the gods whilst locked away. He is... Not the same."

Tony sighed, shrugging his shoulders as he tried to return his focus toward what he'd been doing before he'd made the mistake of mentioning Loki to his older brother.

"Whatever you say, big guy. Just do me a favor though and ask him if he can practice his daily sulking rituals somewhere else. His whole 'woe is me' vibe makes it a little hard to focus."

Thor sighed again at his comrade's obvious lack of compassion toward his clearly suffering sibling, but he nodded nonetheless.

"I will see what I can do, Stark."

And with that, he was taking familiarly heavy steps toward Loki, each growing more hesitant than the last as he took in the full sight of him.

It was no wonder that Tony found his presence to be so distracting, because in truth, you could all but feel his angst rolling off of him in waves, strong and undeniably present in a manner that almost made the god himself shiver.

It was not easy for the god of mischief, what he was going through, but perhaps even Thor himself had managed to underestimate it.

Perhaps he should have been even more concerned than he already was.

"Loki."

He said stiffly upon his approach, watching as the god in question briefly glanced in his direction in acknowledgement before returning his gaze back to his seidr.

"I sympathize greatly with your sorrows, and I wish truly that I could do away with them for you, but a request has been made for you to better contain your bereavements, if possible, and I think it would be best for you to try."

Thor said calmly, though he could see as plain as day that his words had done no good, a fact made evident by the way that his brother turned to look at him, as if both wounded and infuriated at the very same time.

What a familiar look that was for the mischief god to wear these days.

He stood, green cloud disappearing as he did so, his hands clenched into tight fists at his sides.

"Do you believe somehow that I have not already done all that I can to contain my grief, you blithering fool?"

He all but hissed, anger controlling his words but a deep and pervasive sadness evident in his eyes, allowing the god of thunder to see far beyond the ruse his sibling was attempting to put up.

Loki was hurting, perhaps beyond anything that he had endured before, and Thor was unsure if that could have been made any more clear.

The god of mischief took a step closer, slowly, threateningly, as if he might frighten the being standing before him, the only one present that had ever truly seen the good in him, the angel before the fall.

A trickster to be sure, but the villain that he so desperately tried to make himself out to be? Thor could not see such a thing, not in the eyes of one he had grown up alongside of.

Not in his brother, regardless of blood.

Regardless of what was said or done.

"You haven't the slightest clue what I have endured, and yet you have the gall to request that I reign in my pain, as if it is not all that has been left of me? All that has not been so crudely taken?"

He snarled, coming closer, ignoring the heavy gaze of Anthony Stark as it landed upon him, and choosing to pay no mind to the fact that he had undoubtedly called the others in, a fact made clear by the large number of footfalls that grew nearer and nearer by the second.

Maybe Tony was simply a fool made cautious by what he had seen the god do in the past, or maybe he just wished to not be the only audience for this particular spat.

Either way, it mattered not to Loki.

The god in question was far too tired, far too angry, and far too confused to let such a disrespect as this pass.

If they did not understand, then he would make them, and maybe then they could comprehend the realness, the immense depth and crushing weight of his pain.

The burden he bore.

The reaping of what he had sowed long ago, without even realizing it.

The universe had never been fair, not to him, and it was apparent now that such a truth had persevered from the very start.

Back before his title had meant more than a whisper to him, before he had felt the need to prove he was more.

When there had been so much more kindness in his heart and light in his life.

When there had been hope,

When there had been you.

Thor put his hands up defensively, though how secure he truly felt in spite of this almost entirely symbolic and pleading gesture was made clear by his tone, which was pitying in every sense of the word.

"Calm down, brother, I meant no disrespect. I simply feel a deep worry for you, I do not want to watch you suffer any longer. It is a heavy weight upon me to know that you are so burdened."

He said appealingly, eyes full of a type of plea and concern that, once upon a time, might have caused the god of mischief to think for a moment, and perhaps even halt his actions altogether.

But now was not then, and after all that he had seen, all that was now and could have been, he found that his brother's words only served to make him angrier.

"You feel a heavy weight, do you?"

He said darkly, stalking ever forward, even as Thor backed away slowly with each step, not wishing to see his family member trapped in a cage once again as a result of some petty fight.

There was rage in Loki's eyes now, though it did nothing to cancel out the sadness there.

It was clear what was driving him, but even more evident was how upset the god was about that fact.

He did not like being so controlled by his emotions, resented the way that everyone could tell how he was feeling in spite of how hard he tried to hide it.

He had done his best to conceal his sorrows and this was what he had gotten? A request for more, as if he would not have hidden them away entirely in favor of allowing those who were once his enemies to see his weaknesses? The way that truth had changed him?

It infuriated him to no end.

"Can you even begin to imagine then,"

He started, voice low, but just loud enough so that every avenger who had now entered the room could hear it from where they stood together in silence, watching as Loki stalked ever closer to his brother, hands still clenched at his sides, jaw unfathomably tense, and muscles twitching with a quiet kind of rage.

"What I am feeling?"

He finished viciously.

Thor frowned, voice still full of pity and something akin to longing as he replied, tone still entirely bereft of fear,

"I know only what you have told me, dear brother."

He said, watching as Loki all but scoffed at his words,

"So in that way, yes, I suppose I am capable of imagining what you must feel."

The god of mischief laughed in response to this, a humorless and cold sound that was choked by some long abided pain, some endless suffering that only a god could understand, and that no mere mortal could ever endure and survive.

"I think not."

He snapped angrily, watching as Thor's brow creased in response, not understanding what about his reply had been so terribly wrong that it had brought about such a strong reaction from his sibling.

Loki continued,

"I think that if you could even begin to comprehend what I have seen, what I have lost, you would never even think to make an attempt at consoling or correcting me, nor could you ever deign to imagine believing that the small amounts of my grief witnessed through my behavior could be decreased any further. If you could truly understand, you would know the weight that I carry, and you would see that it could never be lessened, because there is truly no greater grief than that which I am suffering from!"

Thor stood there for a moment, dumbfounded, before finally he spoke up once more, voice slightly smaller, though still not lacking in compassion or empathy.

"Brother, I beg you to help me understand better so I may communicate this suffering of yours to those around us who do not know you as well as I. We are guests here on Midgard, and I cannot allow for you to push this pain of yours onto our hosts so endlessly without solution or a shared understanding in mind. How can you expect anyone to have faith or sympathy for you if you will not tell us what has happened?"

Thor's pleas caused yet another round of laughter to burst forth from the god of mischief, though this one was less pained and a bit more angry, a twinge of eagerness to it that did not spell out anything good, not for Thor nor any of the unwelcome audience present within the room alongside them.

"You wish for me to let them see? For me to grant you understanding?"

Loki hissed out, a familiar and volatile energy filling the room as he began to use his seidr to do just that.

"Loki-"

Thor warned, moving to take a step forward when suddenly, the entire room seemed to disappear beneath his feet, and without warning, he found himself in a place entirely unfamiliar to him, standing amongst his peers in a small crowd that occupied some unseen corner of whatever space this was.

He watched as Tony turned to look at him, frustration and confusion etched into his features and mouth opening to speak just as a familiar voice cut through the silence.

It was Loki, but not the one that those watching had come to know.

No, this was a Loki long forgotten by time and entirely unknown by the avengers present to witness this dream that the god of mischief had once so vaguely described to his brother while in the thralls of his pain.

This was the vision that the gods had shown to the adopted son of Odin during his imprisonment within the Avenger's tower months prior.

This was where his sadness, his grief, and his longing had stemmed from.

And it was clear, as they all watched on, why that may have been.

It was beautiful here, wherever here was.

The sun shone through every window, and this place, clearly a home, was adorned with stunning textiles and masonry, each detail obviously considered and brought to life with such care and intention that it could bring one to tears if they focused on it long enough.

Thankfully for the onlookers though, this would not be necessary, because the Loki in question who stood before them made for quite a distracting sight.

He looked younger here somehow, features untouched by some pervasive strain or anger that had long since gotten to the man that was so well known to them now.

His expression was peaceful, happy, so devoid of the angst or maliciousness that many were used to seeing.

This version of Loki, whoever he was, and whenever he had existed, was one that did not yet know the things that he did now, one that had found something that his truest self had not.

Happiness.

And it was clear, as this version of the god of mischief spoke, where that came from.

"Dearest Starlight, have you the faintest idea of how much I've missed you?"

He muttered into the hair of the woman standing before him, one arm wrapped around her while the other cupped the back of her head gently, lovingly, and with such fondness that it almost hurt to watch

This was a man overcome with, and undoubtedly changed by love.

They could see it in his eyes and the way that they lit up when the woman, whoever she was, moved away slightly to look up at him, and in the way that he pressed his forehead to hers with such love and clearly intentional gentleness.

He adored this person standing before him, and judging by the tears brimming in Thor's blue eyes, she was far more than a simple dream, or someone made up by the mind to have and to hold.

No, this was someone that they had known, perhaps long ago, perhaps yesterday, for the timing itself mattered ever so little.

What mattered instead, was that this individual, whoever she was, meant the world and more to the very person that the onlooking crowd had once believed to be devoid of the organ capable of love and affection.

She was important, and she was special, and above all else, she was seemingly a vast source of grief for the two son's of Odin, though one in particular far more than the other, the latter of which stood amongst them with a sadness that was almost assuredly not for himself evident within his gaze.

Thor may have known this girl, whoever she may be or have been, but his tears were not for his own loss of her, no, they were instead for Loki's. He watched the two of them with such rapt and sad fondness that it was all but impossible to deny that fact.

He adored what the two of them shared, and mourned its absence.

And in truth, the unwelcome onlookers could not help but feel similarly.

This woman was beautiful to be sure, with shining hair and twinkling eyes, and a gentle touch that she laid upon the deity standing before her with such care and devotion.

She smiled up at him lovingly, mouth still curved upward even as she spoke, her reply teasing, but far from mockery, mischievous in a way that was befitting of any love of Loki Laufeyson.

"Just me?"

She asked amusedly, carting her fingers through the god's soft black locks and watching with gentle laughter as he simply rolled his eyes in response before he leaned down to kiss her sweetly without a single word, the arm that was still wrapped around her waist tugging her closer before he finally pulled away a few seconds later, joy obvious within his expression, in spite of her ardent teasing.

"Do not ask me such foolish questions, my dear, or I may just be required to seal your lips against mine for all eternity to keep you quiet."

He murmured with his forehead pressed against hers, his nose brushing against her cheek for a few moments until he pulled back with a sigh,

"I suppose I should change before I make myself at home again, hmm?"

He asked with mock exasperation, tucking a few strands of the woman's hair behind her ear as she laughed in reply, nodding almost immediately.

"That would most certainly make me a happy wife, indeed."

She said, pulling further away from him before walking over to the kitchen area and removing something from the oven,

"Now hurry up and change before dinner gets too cold, foolish prince, or you may just find Thor helping himself to your portion again."

Loki gave an amused glare in response to this, but said nothing more, wandering swiftly down a long and dark hallway until he faded from view entirely.

After this, there was silence for a minute or two, a peaceful and joyous one that was occasionally interrupted by the sound of the woman's gentle humming, or one of a few a small noises from further down the hall, none of which seemed important enough to capture the woman in question's attention.

That being said, as Loki returned, something else did, though it notably grabbed hold of that of the audience as well, who stared on together in shock, though Thor was clearly the most baffled of them all.

For there was Loki Laufeyson, adopted son of Odin, Prince of Asgard, and god of mischief, with a child on his hip, one with hair the very color of his, and eyes that were an exact copy of his own.

The woman standing in the kitchen crossed her arms upon her husband's entrance into the room, raising a brow at him as she sighed and approached the two beings who had just graced her with their presence.

"And what business do you believe our daughter has with being up so late, Mr. Laufeyson?"

She questioned teasingly as she pressed a gentle kiss to the head of the little girl who was being held so affectionately within her father's arms, a sweet burble of laughter escaping her as the woman's lips tickled her skin.

The audience watched on in utter shock as Loki smiled softly at the sight, his shoulders shrugging slightly as he bounced the child, who appeared to be around a year old, upon his hip, arms keeping her steady with a well practiced and easy grace found only within a parent that had been present and involved enough to know their child like the back of their hand.

"I believe she has business with welcoming her dear father home regardless of the hour. Would you disagree, Mrs. Laufeyson?"

He murmured gently as he leaned forward to press a lingering kiss against his wife's lips, smirking at the sight of her reddened cheeks as he pulled away.

The wife in question sputtered for a brief moment before finally responding, glaring slightly up at the god of mischief for his antics, though they were no doubt familiar to her by now, judging by the ring wrapped around her finger and the child she had so plainly bore that sat now upon her husband's hip.

"I suppose not."

She replied gently, watching as Loki placed the child into her high chair, offering a toy of his very own creation to distract her with as he approached his spouse with a rather eager grin.

"No?"

He asked softly as he moved to stand behind her, his hands finding her shoulders and massaging the tense muscles there gently, his smile only growing as she sighed at the feeling and leaned into him with a practiced ease borne clearly of a long nurtured trust.

"How kind of you to see things my way for once, dear wife."

He murmured against the shell of the woman's ear, sending a shiver down her spine even as she rolled her eyes in response to his overly teasing tone and his seemingly ceaseless need to make an attempt at pushing her buttons.

"I wouldn't go as far as to say that, my prince."

She sighed out, still clearly pleased with the feeling of his hands rubbing practiced and efficient circles into her skin,

"I am simply allowing you this one small victory while you may still have it."

The god of mischief smirked upon hearing this, his brow raised and his voice low as he replied,

"Allowing me, hmm? What a benevolent ruler you are, starlight."

He all but purred out, and the woman nodded absently, still clearly wrapped up in the feeling of his hands on her body.

"Aren't I?"

She asked, a smile growing upon her face as she spoke,

"Allowing you to wake up our one year old daughter upon your return before you're forced to cease such childish behaviors once your son arrives in a few months time. How generous of me."

Loki hummed and replaced one of his hands that had been resting upon her shoulder with his chin, allowing his now free hand to travel down to her stomach, pressing against it and providing the opportunity for the onlookers to note for the very first time the way that it was rounded out slightly with child, yet another piece of evidence of the love that they shared.

A love that the Loki Laufeyson that they knew, the one that had been captured, imprisoned, and seemingly rehabilitated, had never known.

A love that he perhaps could have had, if only things had been different.

Slowly, faintly, at the sounds of softening laughter and contented discussions, the scene before everyone faded, and the harsh light of the tower persisted once more, blinding them all sharply in a way that the softness of the vision had not managed.

And there, before all of them, stood Loki, looking more than a little haggard with his hair out of place and his eyes brimming with tears.

It was Thor who spoke first.

"It was that which you saw, brother?"

He asked sympathetically, only for Loki to shake his head in response, tone far less angry and much more despondent as he spoke.

The sight of that vision, that memory of a dream delivered unto him one harsh evening to teach him some horrible lesson, had clearly hurt him far more than he wished to let on, and perhaps even more than he had thought it would.

"No."

He said,

"What I saw was far worse, I'm afraid."

Thor's eyebrows creased with both concern and confusion,

"Worse? Brother, I do not-"

"I had entire life with her, Thor."

Loki murmured gently, staring down at his own two shaking hands as if in disbelief that they belonged to him at all,

"I-I had thought truly that everything, all of this suffering and self-hatred had been the real dream all along, and that my time with her, beginning from back when we were all just children again, was reality."

He looked into his brother's eyes then, and allowed him to see the pain there, the sadness and longing for a life he had once believed himself to have lived, a life where he had chosen differently, and found better.

"I did everything the very same as in this lifetime, except instead of choosing power, or some poorly perceived form of acceptance at the hands of our father, I chose her every single time. I married her, brother, stood at the altar and watched her come to me, watched her be granted her rightful immortality at my side, built a house with her, for her, gave her a daughter, and a son, and many other children who I cannot bear to think about because I am in ruin over the fact that they were never real."

He paused, chest heaving, eyes never leaving those of his brother before finally, he continued,

"I know their names, Thor."

He choked out,

"The names of my children, every son and daughter born with some combination of my eyes and her smile, or her hair and my nose. I know their favorite foods, the toy they prefer over all of the rest, and the song that their mother would sing to put them to sleep the fastest."

His tears were beginning to run now, though if Loki noticed, he did not move to wipe them away or to hide them.

"I know everything about them, and yet they are not here, never were, and never will be, and it feels like I have lost all that I ever deigned to love. My wife, my children, a version of myself that I did not loathe, they are all lost to me, and I have died a thousand deaths for every waking moment spent without them by my side."

Thor's own eyes had grown teary now, and he stepped forward slowly, his arm outstretched, as if hoping to reach into his brother and take this pain away with his bare hands alone.

"Dear brother, forgive me."

He said softly, voice shaky in a way that was so very uncharacteristic of him,

"I did not know, I swear it."

Loki shook his head, some shadow of a smile, pained and without any semblance of joy finding his face,

"I know, Thor."

He said quietly,

"But do not waste your apologies on me. It is not your fault for not truly knowing, but mine for believing I could have her back again. She is gone, and I should have known that I could only ever have her in dreams."

Thor opened his mouth to speak, his expression flooded with sorrow, only to find that there was nothing that he could say.

The bridge to you was one that his brother had burned a long time ago, which had been lying in embers since.

Was he not right that you were largely gone from him? A memory of perhaps undeserved yet so very innocent love that he had shut out in order to keep moving forward until the gods had thrust what the two of you could have been upon him so cruelly?

It had been ages now, since Loki had seen or heard of you, and Thor was ashamed to admit that he too had locked you away in memory in favor of moving forward.

A childhood playmate, a most loyal friend far past adulthood, the once almost-lover of his mischievous younger brother, you were a great many things to him, and yet he could scarcely bear to think of you now.

Betrayal was what he had once thought of whenever you came to mind, but now, so many years later, he could see that you had never been the one to betray.

It had been him all along, him and Loki, albeit for two differing reasons.

Either way, the little witch they had once both known so fondly had been long dead to them for many moons now, until the very sight of you so happy, so alive, in spite of the fact that such a vision was a dream brought on by some vengeful deity, sent you careening back into their minds once more.

Where were you now? How had you fared without them, and possibly without your family as well? Were you even alive at all, after all of this time with only a witchling's feeble immortality to keep you alive rather than the godly kind that Loki had helped to bestow upon you within his dream?

Thor shook off these thoughts almost as quickly as they came, and watched on helplessly as Loki began to make his way toward the exit, eyes glued to the ground to avoid making eye contact with the small group of Avengers who had continued to watch on in surprise.

And perhaps, one of them may have piped up to say something, anything to provide comfort to the once so pesky god, had it not been for the sudden shift in the air, followed shortly thereafter by the very shredding of reality itself, as a tear opened up on the far wall, revealing a dark shimmering swirl of colors and lights that soon spat out a figure adorned in clothing that may have appeared foreign to any Midgardian, but was so very familiar to the one aesir god who stared on in utter shock.

Loki, on the other hand, seemed either entirely unaware of the strange circumstance occurring behind him, or uncaring of it, as he continued on his quest to leave the room entirely.

That is, until a voice so familiar that it all but snapped his heart in two called out to him.

"L-Loki?"

It asked weakly, strained and soft, but just barely loud enough to reach him where he stood.

The average man may have froze up entirely, disbelieving their own ears and blaming their minds for playing such cruel tricks on them, but Loki was no average man, and he did not believe his mind capable of making such a mistake.

He knew what he had heard.

He turned around instantly, already wide eyes growing wider when he found you on the floor there, an old cloak of his wrapped tightly around your shoulders.

"Starlight?"

He breathed out in utter disbelief, making his way over in just a few long and intentional strides before he all but collapsed to his knees in front of you.

#loki x reader #loki x yn #loki x female reader #loki x fem reader #loki marvel #loki odinson x reader #loki laufeyson x reader #loki x you #loki odinson #loki fanfiction #loki series #loki laufeyson #loki x reader angst #loki angst

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vbecker10 · 2 years

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Hi I was jw if you could do a Loki x reader where they have a huge fight and then reader leaves for a mission to only come back injured. Loki is given a note from her apologizing to him and when she wakes up he takes care of her apologizing as well? Super duper fluffy ending?

Hey anon!! I have two asks that have very similar ideas so I'm doing them together. I'm sorry if it took me so long to get to it that you sent it again but I really do love this idea. I changed a little bit of it and kinda combined both asks. Hopefully it was worth the wait 💚

That's Not What I Meant

Pairing: Loki x female reader

Warnings: arguing, angst, injury, lots of fluff

Summary: You and Loki have an argument but before the two of you can resolve it, you are called away on a mission for a few days. You return from the mission injured and still hurt by what Loki said before you left but he is determined to show you how much you truly mean to him.

A/N: I threw in Halloween stuff cause it's October so why not right 🎃 lol... also, as usual this got away from me and is way longer then I intended 🤷‍♀️

"Its October first!" you say as you flip the calendar on your kitchen wall excitedly. "Do you know what that means?" you turn towards Loki.

He looks up from the coffee maker, "I would say its Saturday but I imagine that's not the answer you are looking for."

"Its Halloween!" you answer with a wide smile. He rolls his eyes but you catch a glimpse of him smiling before he turns back to face the counter. You move to stand behind him and put your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against his back.

He shakes his head and chuckles softly while he pours the fresh coffee into two mugs. "I was under the impression that Halloween was on the last day of the month, not the first," he says.

You groan, letting go of him so you can lean your back against the counter next to him. You look up at him, crossing your arms and say, "Technically yes but... we can do Halloween stuff all month."

He takes a sip of his coffee, "A whole month seems a bit unnecessary. Surely one day is enough."

"It absolutely is necessary!" you tell him, a bit louder than you expected to.

He raises an eyebrow then waves his hand for you to continue. "Very well. What did you have in mind, darling?" he asks.

"Everything... Some of the parks here do hayrides, corn mazes and apple picking. I've always wanted to go apple picking, maybe Wanda could teach me how she makes those mini apple crumbles," you say and Loki smiles, you know how much he loves any type of dessert he can get his hands on. "There are tons of haunted houses we can visit of course," you add.

"Of course," he nods dramatically in agreement which causes you to laugh.

"Oh and I feel like you would like pumpkin carving," you say and he tilts his head curiously. "Because you know..." you make a stabbing motion, "Knives and such."

"That seems acceptable," he laughs then leans forward to kiss you briefly. "Anything else, love?"

"Can't forget watching horror movies with lots of junk food and cuddles or scaring everyone on the team," you tell him.

"How could I say no to either of those?" he smiles as he puts his coffee mug on the counter and moves closer to you. He slips one arm around you and you lean against his chest, looking up at him. "It'll be hard to pick a favorite activity but I don't think you can beat scaring the others," he says with a mischievous grin.

You hit his chest lightly, "Want to try picking a favorite again?"

He kisses the top of your head, "Pumpkin carving?"

"You're the worst," you giggle as you pull free. "The correct answer is horror movies and cuddles, obviously. Just for that, I'm picking out our costumes for Stark's party."

His mood shifts suddenly as the playful smile leaves his lips. He picks up his coffee mug and takes another sip. "There's no need for you to do that," he says in a serious tone, "I won't be attending the party." With that, he turns and walks out of the kitchen.

"You don't want to go?" you ask as you follow him into the living room.

He sits on one end of the couch and sets his mug on the coffee table. "Y/N, you know I don't go to Stark's parties. I never have and I see no reason to start now," he says without looking at you.

"I thought we could go together," you say with a hopeful smile.

He picks up his book from the side table and open its, "Why would you think that?"

"Because it would be fun?" you ask, feeling more unsure of yourself with every passing moment.

He looks up at you briefly and then back to his book. "I doubt very much it would be," he says.

You stand across from him in silence, hurt by the thought that Loki didn't even want to consider going with you. Loki has never been one to socialize with the team voluntarily but you had been excited about the idea of finally having a date to one of Stark's parties.

"I know we've only been dating a few months but... I guess I just assumed you would want to go with me," you say quietly.

"Don't Midgardians have a saying about assuming things?" he asks as he turns the page of his book.

"Well, yea..." you put your mug on the coffee table. "Can you not read while we're talking?"

"You know I'm perfectly capable of holding a conversation and reading at the same time," he says without looking up, you wrap your arms around yourself and don't respond. He finally looks up and slides his bookmark between the pages before setting it on the table. "Better?" he asks in a sarcastic tone.

"Oh, is it rude of me to want you to pay attention to me when I'm talking?" you ask, unable to hide your growing annoyance.

"There is nothing to talk about. I have told you I'm not going," he says. "You're more then welcome to go to that ridiculous event alone." He sits back and opens his book again.

"Its not ridiculous," you argue back but he doesn't acknowledge you as he turns the page.

"And I don't... I don't want to go alone. I want to go with my boyfriend. What's wrong with that?" you ask.

"Are you really going to just ignore me now?" you ask when he continues to read silently.

"I'm not ignoring you, I'm just done with this conversation," he says as he flips the page.

"That's not how conversations work-" you say, rolling your eye sarcastically.

"I don't want to be with you Y/N," Loki says in a harsh tone as he slams the book closed.

You instantly take a step back as his words hit you. He stands up quickly, dropping his book as moves towards you. "Go, I meant I don't want to go with you," he tries to correct himself but your mind has already latched onto those words.

"You... don't..." you whisper as you stand in front of him in disbelief, shaking your head slowly.

"No, no. That's not what I meant," he repeats. "Y/N, I didn't mean that."

He reaches for your arm and you pull away from him. "But you said it," you say, you feel as if you're heart is physically breaking. "Why would you say that?" you ask, close to tears.

"Y/N, I-" Loki starts to explain but is cut off by the sound of your phone ringing from the other room.

You turn from him and walk back to the kitchen to answer it. Loki follows you and tries to take your hand but you turn from him. You purposefully stare at your feet while on the phone to avoid looking at Loki who is growing increasingly upset and nervous.

When you hang up from your call with Agent Hill you ask, "Can you please leave? I have to be ready to take off for a mission in twenty minutes and I-"

"Y/N, I'm not leaving until we talk," he shakes his head. He attempts to close the distance between the two of you again and this time you don't move away. You keep your eyes fixed on the ground as tears begin to surface. He touches your cheek lightly but you still don't look up.

"That's not what I meant," he says again and you nod slowly, your heart believes him but your mind won't let go of this words so easily. "Please look at me," he pleads but you can’t.

"I have to get ready," you tell him again in a hushed voice.

"Can we talk when you get back?" he asks and you mumble ok in response. He kisses the top of your head lightly and says, "Be safe, Y/N."

(Three days later)

You limp slowly down the long corridor and find yourself standing in front of Loki's door. You can tell he's awake, most likely reading, when you see the light creeping out from under the door even though it's just past one in the morning.

You stand there frozen for a moment. All you want to do is feel his arms wrap around you but every time you picture him, you hear his voice echo. He said he didn't want to be with you and although he quickly took it back you just couldn't shake it. His words had burned themselves into your thoughts and refused to leave.

You try to take a deep breath and feel a searing pain spread through your left side. You look down at the brace on your left knee and rub your left arm, just above where the cast was set. Shaking your head, you turn to drag yourself the rest of the way down the hall to your room to sleep.

You get a few feet away when you hear Loki's door open and you stop but don't turn. "Y/N, welcome back," he says quietly.

You can feel your heartbeat picking up at the sound of his voice and you can't help but smile a bit. "I've missed you, love," he says, you can hear he's stepped out into the hall.

"I missed you too," you tell him as you turn to face him. You watch as his eyes move up and down your body, filling with concern.

"Y/N, are you alright? What happened?" he asks, standing close to you. You shrug and tell him that the mission was ultimately successful but you were thrown during an explosion at the Hydra base. You had broken your arm and sprained your knee, in addition to being covered in bruises. You tell him you're exhausted and just want to lay down.

He reaches out and takes your hand, "I know you're tired darling, but come with me." You look up at him quietly, he gently strokes your cheek. "Let me take care of you," he says in a soothing voice.

You smile sleepily and nod, absolutely nothing could sound better then letting Loki look after you right now. No matter what he said before you left, you were still completely in love with him, although you had never been brave enough to say it. You squeeze his hand lightly and he leads you back to his room.

Once inside, he closes the door quietly and picks you up careful not to hurt your side or leg. You let out a small laugh in surprise as he carries you bridal style into the living room. "I can walk," you tell him but you make no attempt to be put down.

"Not without being in pain it seems," he answers in a caring tone.

You wrap your good arm around his neck a bit tighter and kiss his cheek lightly without thinking. He smiles when he looks down at you but you can see it doesn't quite reach his eyes. His eyes are red and glassy, his normally silky smooth hair appears slightly tangled and you've never seen his clothing wrinkled before.

You look around as he carries you through his apartment. His space is usually meticulously neat but there are books messily piled on the end table and floor. You notice a pillow and blanket from his bed have been moved to the couch and there are several empty mugs on the coffee table. He walks through the living room and into his bedroom where the bed you've shared is made perfectly, expect for the missing pillow. You realize its the pillow from your side of the bed that's been moved to the couch.

As if he is reading your thoughts he says, "I haven't been able to sleep without you."

You close your eyes, hold him tighter and whisper, "I'm sorry, Loki." You knew how hard the last few days had been for you but you are quickly seeing how badly it had affected Loki as well.

He kisses your forehead as he gently opens the bathroom door with his foot. He sets you down on the countertop next to the sink.

"I understand you're tired but... I just need you to know I'm sorry," he says. "I didn't mean what I said before you left, you know that right? I was frustrated about the party and it just came out wrong. I-" he tells you and you pull him closer to you. You put your good arm around his waist and move your legs to be on either side of him as they dangle over the edge.

You had spent the last three days replaying what Loki said and you can tell he had been too. "I know Loki," you interrupt him. "I know you didn't mean it," you tell him and he breaths a sigh of relief. He strokes your cheek lightly then leans down to kiss you.

When he breaks the kiss, you hide your face against his chest. "Y/N...?" he asks, running his hand up and down your back lightly.

"I'm sorry I pushed you about going to the party. I know you don't enjoy going to them and it wasn't fair that I got upset instead of listening to you," you tell him.

He puts his fingers under your chin and tilts your head so you are looking up at him again. "I will go to the party, I just want to make you happy Y/N," he offers but you shake your head no and he looks confused.

"I don't want to go anymore," you tell him.

"You should go. I know how much fun you thought his last party was," he says.

You smile at him and run your fingers through his hair gently, "I would rather spend time with you, doing something we both like."

He cups your cheek and brings your lips to his. You kiss him back as his hand slides down your back, holding you close to his chest. You giggle when you pull away to breath, "I meant something like going to a museum... but that works too."

He laughs at your response than says, "Well we still have all the things on your Halloween list to get through."

You nod happily as you yawn then groan in pain when your stretching aggravates your sore muscles. His smile fades and he looks concerned again.

"Let's get you more comfortable, darling," he says and you agree.

You rest against Loki with your eyes closed as you listen to the tub full with water. After a few minutes, Loki carefully helps you out of your dirty, bloodied uniform and places you into the warm water. You let out a sigh as your muscles begin to relax from the oils Loki had added. Resting your broken arm on the edge of the tub, you let yourself sink completely under the bubbles.

Loki's kneels behind you and begins to gently unbraid your hair. He runs his long fingers through your hair and then down your neck to your shoulders, massaging all the tension from your muscles. When he finishes, he kisses you softly. "Just rest now, I'll be back in a moment," he says as he gets up.

You nod with a smile, struggling to keep your eyes open. Just as you are about to drift off completely, Loki returns to being you to bed. After drying off, Loki conjures you a soft pair of green shorts and a black tank top to sleep in.

You giggle, half asleep when he picks you up again and carries you into the bedroom. He lays you on the bed and then gets in next to you. At soon as he pulls the covers over the two of you, you curl up against his side.

Loki wraps his arms tightly around you and whispers, "I love you, Y/N."

For a moment, you aren't sure if you dreamed hearing this words or if he actually said he loved you for the first time. You look up at him and when you see his smile, you know you weren't dreaming.

"I love you too, Loki," you confess happily, right before you slip into a sound sleep.

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