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zodiacrant · 3 years

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🍩My experiences with each Moon sign🍩

(Cause yall are messy)

I have done this a few times before but for Sun signs and did rank placements but never shared my thoughts and experiences with the Moon signs.

Now I know how this goes, so if you get mad or sad then go off I guess. Aint the first time I get cursed out or attacked in this bitch. Plus, I am a Cap moon so naturally I won’t do well with some Moons and I will be nitpicking everything about everyone.

🍩Aries Moon🍩

My dad’s moon. Yup, that tells you alot without me even starting. Having our Moons in Square shit was hard to say the least. It took a long time for us to be on middle grounds and because I don’t feel comfortable talking about my problems here I will continue on. The Aries Moon that I really like and can think of is Rihanna, so I would say it’s unfair to make a whole judgment but from what I saw and heard they’re not exactly the best to be around. So I give them a 3/10 for being bold and having nerve.

🍩Taurus Moon🍩

Now this Moon right here I know people from ( a close friend and my sister, plus some others) and I don’t have many strong opinions about it. As a Taurus Sun, it can be a challenge to work with a Taurus Moon. I am stubborn at my core and they’re stubborn with their heart, so everytime we disagree it’s like a rope pulling contest. Way too stagnant for me but I think that’s because of my other placements and they don’t take any advice or open up no matter what. On to the good, I never disliked someone with this placement. No matter how much of an asshole they can be, to me it is difficult to hate them or stay mad at them. They’re warm, kind, and sweet but a bit aloof and naive, also they don’t like to touch and hug as some people might think. I will give them a 8/10

🍩Gemini Moon🍩

(⚠️TW⚠️ mention of rape and erratic behavior)

I only had one best friend with this placement and I don’t I want to meet any more, and I am at peace with that if they resemble her in any way. She was a maniac. She loved to lie, create drama, blow shit up, act crazy and basically be shocking. I do find similarities with Gemini Sun where they do shit for reactions but with her, she will take it to the next level. Lie about being raped, act possessed, or pretend that she is being followed. It’s not fair to associate her with people who share the same Moon as her but that was y’all’s representation in my life. She was erratic so it’s difficult to see where her Moon was in effect and where she was just off. I’ll give them a 1/10, would not recommend until proven otherwise.

🍩Cancer Moon🍩

The first that comes to my mind is Taylor Swift and to me she is the ultimate Cancer Moon. It juat makes sense how fast she takes it to the next level with people. Whether getting serious quickly with someone or throwing down and feuding. She just always at a 100. Personally, I never got close with someone who has this placement, maybe it’s because I am a Capricorn Moon myself, but I would say the ones that I have met were nice. I’ll give them a 5/10

🍩Leo Moon🍩

I only had one best friend with this placement but the people I have met with this Moon I still remember. They all had one thing in common and that was being emotionally traumatized and have lost one parent. My best friend was super loyal, very confident in what they believed in and represented, were always there for me and had an amazing ability in motivating others. But they were also super prideful and there’s no coming back with them. Fight once and it’s over. (Yes I am looking at you Jonnie). One of the other people was with me in uni and always had the to urge won up me and my friend. He had scars all over and he doesn’t remember how he got them. But he was super proud of himself and his home country, which I respect and admire. I’ll give them a 6/10

🍩Virgo Moon🍩

I know two people with this placement, my mom and a professor at uni, and oh boy it makes sense that they’re a Virgo Moon. Me and my mom are too alike that we clash strongly at times. She thinks she can do it better and I think I can do it better and we just have like a competition on who done it better basically. From cooking, to how you light the stove, to how you put on clothes, to how you lay down on bed. Both my mom and my professor are super critical and precise, althogh my professor is a double Virgo (Sun and Moon) so she will go even further. They have to do everything as it arises and act like there’s no time and everything is about to go wrong. Like damn sis chill the fuck out for a sec and this is coming from a Cap moon so you know it’s bad. But I really like Virgo Moon, even though people might hate such a personality but I can relate to them in some ways. I’ll give them 7/10

🍩Libra Moon🍩

My only online friend that I talk to all the time got this Moon. Other than her I met only two people and they were something. Okay so for my friend, because I never actually have seen her physically with my own eyes I can’t say how she acts all the time, but she is one of the best listeners I had in my life. She likes to hear me ramble for an hour about a dumb encounter that lasted a second, talking about astrology and some nerdy things and then not so nerdy things. I believe that it’s a Libra Moon quality to be emotionally versatile and attentive. I think because she is a Leo dominant she acts much fiery and fiercely than a Libra would. As for the other people I just thought they were fake. One acted as a friend but then would just disappear so I was over it quickly and the other was super passive and pretentious that I think she shits out plastic. All in all I think it’s a great Moon. I’ll give them a 7/10

🍩Scorpio Moon🍩

One of the hardest Moons I ever delt with but I find that I love them too. My oldest sister had this Moon and she is such a mystery. Because I am a Taurus Sun, it is only natural for me to have a hard time with a Scorpio Moon. Even though she is an extrovert, she rarely talks about herself and her feelings, you will never catch her slipping or show vulnerability. I can see how difficult it may be for her being a Cancer with a Scorpio Moon and have Gemini dominance. But she’s a bitch at heart and I am cool with it. I’ll give them 5/10 cause I am not a big fan of paradoxical people

🍩Sagittarius Moon🍩

A moon that I always babysat. I had two best friends with this Moon and if I was born a second earlier, it would mine too. I don’t know if it’s because of my Gemini Venus or my 0 degree Capricorn Moon but I love Sagittarius Moons. I was fortunate to see some of their weaknesses and for them to trust me enough to be vulnerable. But boy do they get themselves into the dumbest situation because they wanted to see what would happen. I had to babysit them and help them do everything like shopping, cooking, cleaning, assembling furniture, be their body guard when buying weed. (Shhhh it’s a secret). They’re in many ways immature cause they run from things and everytime you try to be real with them, they say “stop being negative”. I’ll give them a 9/10

🍩Capricorn Moon🍩

The grande dame of the Moon signs, sitting at it’s opposite planet. I have met many Cap Moons and honestly we are bitches 😂. The energy of sitting next to a Capricorn Moon is too fucking much like I never knew it’s like that. I noticed the way they stare, talk, walk and sit can be so aggressive and intimidating. I see why people might label us as bullies, cause the energy is definitely there and I myself was such a cunt (still a little but I am more aware of myself now) that I get where both are coming from. Life as a Capricorn Moon is emotionally flat. If wasn’t for my other placements you will never see me even flinch. I think we just take everything and let it process in our head before we let it into our hearts. So to me, we’re not mean, we just don’t see how something might be hurtful. But also that tone and that blank face, goddam! That’s why I try to smile cause bitch no, I didn’t know I was walking with a death stare this whole time. Anyways, I will give us 10/10 cause I am self appreciative like that 😂✌️

🍩Aquarius Moon🍩

I have always tried to understand Aquarius Moon and it was only a month ago that I have realized they themselves are not sure of who they’re. I had one best friend with this placement and three cousins (all siblings). First, my cousins are super competitive with each other on who gets to do what and if it happens that they’re similar in something they will get pissed. The person that was my best friend was like that as well. Only he would drop a an entire hobby, interest, something close to his heart, shit even a personality trait. I find them to be constantly changing and trying, so they shift between one end of extreme to the other until they center themselves. I’ll give them a 4/10

🍩Pisces Moon🍩

Now let’s talk about a depressing placement, in my opinion of course 😅. I don’t know if it’s the influence of Neptune on the Moon or is it the just the demeanor of Pisces, but good god girl get a grip (they call this the five G’s). My youngest sister is a Pisces Moon, and as creative as she is, she is pessimistic and overly cynical. I mean I am all for being critical and real but looking at everything with jacked up black sprayed glasses is just too much for me. Other than my sister I don’t know any Pisces Moon very well but I had a few acquaintances. I noticed that they talked about a specific thing and that’s it. I have found them to be amazing at drawing, painting and have an incredible artistic sense. At times twisted and dark, but I love the art that comes with it. I’ll give them a 5/10

Here’s the tea. It’s Pisces season so remember I am sensitive right now, and also it’s my life and I wish I met someone as amazing as you might think you’re. (Maybe that was a little too aggressive)

Okay love you ❤️

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dialovers-translations · 3 years

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Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Subaru Route ー Chapter 1

Yui: ( I have to retrieve my heart no matter what…! )

ー The scene starts in the area surrounding Bernstein Castle

Subaru: Oi, stay focused.

Yui: Ah...Sorry, Subaru-kun. I got a little worried...

Subaru: Che...The problem’s not gonna fix itself by sittin’ ‘round, right? We just have to go look for it.

Yui: Right...I guess heading towards the city area is our best bet for now?

But how can we get there? Do you know the way?

Subaru: Well...I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t but...It’s pretty far away from here.

Yui: I see. It might take a while then.

Subaru: ...

...Come here for a sec.

Yui: Eh? ...Kyah!?

ー Subaru pulls her close

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...There we go.

Yui: W-Wait, Subaru-kun!? What has gotten into you!?

( He picked me up!? )

Subaru: Whatcha mean? ...We’re gonna fly there.

Yui: Eeh!?

Subaru: ...If we take the slow route and walk, your heart may not last, right?

Yui: Ah...

( I see...This is his way of showing concern... )

But, still, I’m a little scared of flying there...

Subaru: I’m gonna bite your tongue if you keep complaining! Now shush and let me carry youーー!

ー He leaps into the air

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the city area

Yui: ( Thanks to Subaru-kun, we reached the city in the blink of an eye... )

Things are more lively here than I expected.

Subaru: Yeah...There’s way too many people, it’s pissin’ me off...

Yui: ( Subaru-kun may say that but...The Demon World’s Parade seems kind of fun. )

( But, I’m sure I would have been able to enjoy it much more...If only we didn’t have other objectives already. )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( ...No, there’s no helping it. Right now, we have to search for my heart. )

What should we do now?

Subaru: That’s not even a question! We’re gonna storm that darn castle and give Count what’s-his-face a good beatin’!

Yui: Eh!? Violence isn’t the answer...!

Subaru: You think I give a damn!? That guy had the nerve to steal somethin’ so important to you!

He should be happy he gets away with just a few punches!

Anyway, let’s head to the castle. We can talk ‘bout that later.

ー The scene shifts to the front gate of Bernstein Castle

Yui: Wah...What a large castle...

( Is this...Bernstein castle...? )

( The gates are closed shut, so I doubt it’ll be easy to get inside... )

*Thud*

Subaru: Che...We can’t get in like this...

This castle...It has an anti-Vampire barrier surrounding it...

Yui: A-A barrier...!?

Subaru: Shit! Fuck him and his petty tricks!

...Ugh!

*THUD THUD*

Yui: Wait, Subaru-kun...!?

Subaru: If we can’t get in normally...We just gotta force our way inside...! I’m gonna break through this shit!

*THUD*

Yui: You can’t do that!

Subaru: Some nasty bastard stealin’ other people’s shit deserves no better...There!

*Crumble*

Yui: ( Ah...The wall...! )

Subaru: Heh...Look at that. It’s more fragile than I thought. I might actually be able to kick a hole through. Hehe...

Yui: ( He’s completely set on destroying it...! What should I do...!? )

???: ーー Hold it.

Yui: Eh...?

( That startled me...Someone appeared out of nowhere... )

Subaru: Aah? Who the fuck are you?

Butler: ...My sincere apologies for the belated greeting. I am one of the butlers employed here.

Yui: ( Here? ...So he works for Count Walter...? )

Subaru: And what does his butler want from us? We’re here to see the Count himself.

Butler: Yes, of course. I am aware.

ーー My master is waiting for you two inside. This way, please.

Subaru: Hah?

ー The gates open

Yui: ( Eh? ...They’ll let us in so easily...? )

Subaru: Wait, it might be a trap of some sorts...

He went as far as to put up a barrier ‘round his castle. I can’t imagine he’d meet us without a catch.

Butler: It is most definitely not a trap.

My master said that he would rather not have the outer walls destroyed any further.

Yui: Ah...

( We can’t deny that one... )

Butler: ...Well then, please enter.

Subaru: ...

Che...Oh well, let’s go.

Oi, we don’t know what’s waitin’ inside...So don’t you dare leave my side, okay?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

ー The two of them enter the castle

Butler: Please make yourself comfortable here for a bit.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: ( I almost feel a little relieved (1) after we came here expecting the worst... )

Perhaps we don’t need to be so alert...?

Let’s just sit down for now.

Subaru: Che...

*Thud*

Yui: ( Waah...The outside looked splendid as well, but the interior is just as luxurious... )

Subaru: Oi, don’t look ‘round too much.

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I couldn’t help myself...

Subaru: Geez...

Butler: I have prepared a cup of tea as well.

*Cling*

Yui: T-Thank you very much! Let me have a taーー

Subaru: Don’t drink it!

*SHATTER*

Yui: Ah...

( Seems like Subaru-kun is still alarmed after all... )

???: ...Well, well...Now that’s a guard dog if I’ve ever seen one..

Subaru: ーー Who’s there!?

Yui: ( Where is his voice coming from...? )

Count Walter: My name is Walter. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sakamaki Subaru and...the young lady over there.

Well, that being said...It might not be the first time the two of us meet...

Yui: ( Eh...? )

Subaru: Spare me the formalities! Show yourself already!

Count Walter: ーー I refuse.

Subaru: ...Excuse me!?

Count Walter: I am not as foolish as to carelessly extend my hand towards a ferocious watchdog who seems ready to lash at me any second.

However, let me praise you for your cautious behavior.

Subaru: What did you expect!?

Yui: ( Subaru-kun... )

Subaru: Give back her heart already!!

Count Walter: Sorry to disappoint, but I cannot do that.

Subaru: Aah? And why not!?

Count Walter: I have yet to come to a conclusion.

Yui: A conclusion...?

Count Walter: Yes, exactly. Young lady, whether or not you are a fit candidate for this unique heart ーー

I do not know yet. As long as I am not convinced, I simply cannot hand this back to you.

Subaru: Haah!? What kind of bullshit is that!?

For one...That’s not somethin’ you get to decide, is it!?

*CRASH*

Yui: Ah!

( The vase...He broke it...!? )

Count Walter: ...! That vase...!

Subaru: Ah? What ‘bout it?

Count Walter: Cut it out! Every piece of decoration in this castle is highly valuableーー

Subaru: Heeh, thanks for the information. In that case, I’ll make sure to make quick work of all of it.

...Take this!

*Thud*

*CRASH*

*Shatter*

Count Walter: Aah!

Subaru: I don’t mind stoppin’ if you return her heart.

*CRASH*

Yui: Subaru-kun, you’re going too far!

( Count Walter has been left completely speechless... )

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: ...Why would you say that...When I’m doin’ this all for you...?

Che...

*SHATTER*

Subaru: There! What do you have to say now, huh!?

Yui: ( I doubt staying here will do the situation any good... )

Um...Subaru-kun? Why not calm down for now and then we can come back and try again later?

Subaru: Aah? No need.

Also, you really think I’m gonna back down after we made it this far!?

Yui: But, look! Count Walter has gone quiet as well...

I doubt he’s willing to continue this conversation with us any further.

So...Please? Let’s go back for now? We have to find a place to stay for the night as well.

ー She pulls him away by his arm.

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ah, oi! Yui!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the gondola docks

Yui: ( I somehow dragged Subaru-kun this far but... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( He seems to be in a bad mood... )

Seems like we can at least take the gondola to return to the city. Shall we be on our way then?

Subaru: ...

Gondolier A: A ride for two?

Yui: Yes please.

Gondolier A: Off we go!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Yui: ( ...He’s been facing away this whole time...I want to tell him something though. )

Subaru-kun, you seeーー

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: Um...Well.

I was happy you were trying to get my heart back.

Subaru: ...

Yui: But did you ever consider what might happen if the Count resorted to doing the same thing you did back there...?

Subaru: ...Haah!?

What I did...?

...

...Ah.

...You think that maybe he’ll destroy your heart as well...?

Yui: Y-Yeah...I think that’s a possibility.

Subaru: ...

...My bad.

I completely lost my temper...so I didn’t think that far ahead...

Sorry...

Yui: ( I made him sad...What should I do? )

Selection

→ Talk to him (☾)

Yui: S-Still...You did it with my wellbeing in mind, right?

Subaru: Yeah...Well...Obviously.

Yui: In that case...I’m very happy with that sentiment!

Subaru: ...

→ Don’t do anything

Yui: ( However...It all started because my heart got stolen. )

( If he takes my words the wrong way (2), it might only makes things more awkward... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( Ah...I think I just made him even more sad...I should have said something. )

Yui: ( Hm...Isn’t there a better way to cheer him up...? )

( ...Right. )

Subaru-kun, I’m sorry but...Nn!

*Smooch*

Subaru: Wha...!? W-What are you doin’...!?

Yui: ( Uu...It’s kind of embarrassing to take initiative to kiss his cheek but... )

...I know you did all of that for me so...I guess that was my way to...thank you...?

Subaru: ...Che...Fuck, don’t be doin’ that embarrassin’ shit...

For one...I only did it ‘cause I was pissed off...Not for your sake or anythin’...

Yui: Fufu...

( I’m glad. Seems like he calmed down a little. )

Well then...Shall we go apologize first and foremost?

Subaru: ...Che, guess I have no other choice...

ー The scene shifts to the front gate of Bernstein castle

Yui: ( I’m sure the Count is very upset. )

( I hope he’ll forgive us... )

( However, if he doesn’t... )

Subaru: ...Oi.

Yui: ...Hm? What’s wrong, Subaru-kun?

Subaru: Wait one sec.

ー He walks away

Yui: ( There he goes...I wonder what has gotten into him...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Subaru returns

Yui: ( Ah...He’s back. )

Where did you go?

Subaru: ...Here, for you.

Yui: Eh...? A flower? Where did you get this...?

Subaru: They were handin’ them out over there, so I just went and got one.

So...Wipe that frown off your face already, okay?

Yui: Ah...

( Could it be...Did he grow worried because he realized I was feeling anxious...? )

Thank you, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: Hm...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Ah...He grabbed my hand... )

( If we can show that our feelings are sincere, I’m sure the Count will be able to forgive us, right...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to cafe Tarte Tatin

Yui: ( ーー Or so I thought... )

Subaru: Fuck, why!?

*Thud*

*Cling*

Yui: ( I can actually relate to Subaru-kun right now... )

Monologue

ーー Afterwards,

we headed towards Bernstein castle,

for the second time...

However, no matter how many times we called out,

not even the butler showed up,

let alone Count Walter himself.

So with no other options at hand,

we entered a nearby cafe,

where Subaru-kun simply raged on.

Subaru: What’s that guy’s plan...!?

Yui: Hm...I guess we might have no other choice but to compensate for the broken goods....

Subaru: Sounds easy enough but...I don’t remember every single thing I destroyed.

Yui: R-Right...

( There was barely anything left of the stuff in the living room after all... )

But, I believe you dealt the most damage to the vases, the sculptures and...also some paintings, I think?

Subaru: I’m...impressed you remember all of that...

Yui: ( I was watching in panic after all... )

I did say we should compensate for them, but I’m pretty sure those were either unique art pieces.

Or they’re extremely expensive so...What do we do now?

( Besides, I know near nothing about art... )

Subaru: ...

...The Old Man has this collection, you know.

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: Just like Count Walter, he enjoys going ‘round collectin’ all types of weird artworks.

Yui: Really?

Subaru: Yeah. There’s this shady Vampire who goes ‘round sellin’ art to the likes of them.

If I remember correctly...That guy should live in this city...

Yui: Eh? Then if we go see him...!

Subaru: ...Guess it’s worth talkin’ to him at least.

Yui: For sure! He might be the one who sold the Count some of the art pieces in his castle!

( Thank god, we somewhat settled on where to go from here...! )

Um...Then shall we go see him tomorrow?

Subaru: Yeah...I’m beat after everythin’ that went down today...

We should find a place to stay sooner rather than later and rest up. Tomorrow’s lookin’ to be another busy day after all.

ー The scene shifts to the lobby of Mondstein Hotel

Yui: Subaru-kun’s sure taking a while...

( He hasn’t returned since he left for the reception... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah, Subaru-kun! Were you able to get us a room...?

( His behavior is a little off. Maybe they were fully booked...? )

Subaru: What do you think!? (3) There’s barely any rooms left ‘cause of the Parade...

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: ...They’ve only got one room left.

Yui: Ah...Phew. I was worried about what we’d do in case they were fully booked...

We got lucky there’s one left!

Subaru: Why are you actin’ like it’s no big deal!? Do you know what that implies!? There’s only ONE room!

Yui: Eh? Y-Yeah...Is there a problem with that...?

Subaru: ...Ugh...

Do I have to spell it out for you...!? A man and a woman sharing the same room is obviously asking for trouble.

Yui: ...! ...Now that you mention it...

B-But...Isn’t it still better than not having anywhere to spend the night at all...?

( Besides, sleeping outside in the Demon World would be pretty dangerous, no? )

Subaru: ...Fuck, don’t you have any sense of danger at all...?

Yui: Eh? Did you say something just now?

Subaru: Shut up! I didn’t say anythin’!

Che...You can take the room. I’ll just find somewhere else to sleep.

Yui: Y-You can’t do that...! If you don’t get a proper night’s rest, it might affect you tomorrow...

Anyway, we were lucky to snatch the last room so let’s just take it?

Ah....But if you dislike the idea of sharing a room with me that much...I suppose I can consider it...

Subaru: I-I never said I dislike the thought of it, did I...!?

...

Fuck...Don’t blame me if somethin’ happens...

ー The scene shifts to the hotel room

Yui: ( We made it to our room at least, but... )

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru-kun...What have you been doing this whole time...?

Subaru: Can’t you tell? I’m drawing a line in the middle of the bed.

Yui: ( Where did he even pull that divider from...? )

Subaru: Listen up. Starting from here to the other edge is your side.

So don’t you dare cross this line.

Yui: S-Sure...Fine by me...

( Uu...Now that I think about it, having to share a room with Subaru-kun does make me a little nervous... )

( The nerves are only just getting to me... )

ー They can hear noises coming from the outside

Yui: Hm? What could this sound be?

( Guess I’ll step out on the balcony. )

ー The scene shifts to the balcony

Yui: Waah...!

( There’s a drum and fife band performing over by the gondolas we boarded earlier! )

( I should go inform Subaru-kun as well! )

Hey, Subaru-kun, why don’t you join mーー

*WOOSH*

Yui: ( ...What? What’s this uncomfortable feeling inside my chest...? )

( Ah...I’m dizzy... )

Subaru: Oi, Yui! Everythin’ okay!?

ー She nearly collapses

*Thud*

Yui: Ah...Subaru-kun...

Subaru: What’s wrong? You gave me a scare when you suddenly lost your balance just now...

Yui: Sorry...My heart just acted weird for a second...

Thank you for supporting me.

Subaru: ...

...If that guy does somethin’ to your heart ‘cause I went on a rampage...

I don’t know what I’d do...

Yui: It only lasted for a few seconds and now everything seems completely fine again so...I’m sure it’s fine.

Subaru: ...Ugh...

This is the part where you get mad at me, no!? Why won’t you blame me!?

Yui: Well...

Judging from what we learnt about him today, the Count strikes me as the type of person who can appreciate a treasure when he sees one so...

I don’t believe he would thoughtlessly destroy something of value, don’t you think...?

So, no need to worry that muーー

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Wah...He wrapped his arms around me...! )

Subaru: ...Haah...You really are too kind and optimistic...

Yui: A-Am I...?

Subaru: Yeah. But...I don’t exactly...dislike that side of you.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...

...Thank you...

( Uu...How embarrassing... )

Ah! S-Subaru-kun! Look! They’re going to play again!

Subaru: ...Che...Who gives a damn ‘bout that shit? Focus on me right now.

For one...Don’t be gettin’ distracted by other stuff when I’m right here in front of you...

Yui: Fufu...Sorry...

Subaru: Che...I’m sure you’ll have another chance to watch the performance in the future, no?

But...Well, if you insist...I guess we can watch together.

Yui: ...Yeah!

( It’s a little embarrassing while he’s still holding me in his arms but... )

( Still, I’m happy we get to enjoy it together like this. )

These kinds of performances are kind of exciting, don’t you think?

( I know now’s not the time for that but... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I bet you’re not in the mood right now...

Subaru: No...It’s fine.

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: ...I’ll fix this whole ordeal somehow...

So you just keep that dumb smile on your face, ‘kay?

Yui: D-Dumb...? How mean!

Yeah...But...Thanks.

( How strange...Subaru-kun shouldn’t have a body temperature but...For some reason, he feels warm. )

( He’s right here with me. )

( That alone is very reassuringーー )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー

Translation notes

(1) 拍子抜け can mean either ‘to feel disappointed/demotivated’ or ‘to feel relieved’ depending on the context. In this case, I chose ‘relieved’ because them being let inside the castle should be considered a good thing.

(2) フォローする obviously comes from the English ‘follow’ and is used whenever someone backs you up or tries to say something supportive/encouraging to improve the mood. In this case, Yui is worried about her words of support being taken the wrong way, so she decides to stay quiet.

← RETURN TO PROLOGUE

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 2]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ AYATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ LAITO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ YUMA]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #4 [W/ AZUSA]

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #subaru sakamaki #lunatic parade #diabolik lovers translation #lpsubaruchapter1

72 notes · View notes

vintagedolan · 4 years

Text

mixtape | track five

| masterlist | faceclaims | playlist |

*contains smut*

It took two nights for Grayson to officially give in and admit that Indiana’s bed was more comfortable than his. Although he wasn’t exactly utilizing the space the way he wanted to at that moment, considering he was criss cross on top of the comforter in front of his very stressed out girlfriend, holding out a water bottle like it was a toy for a toddler.

“Hey. You need to drink some of this.”

“Mhmm, yeah,” she mumbled as a response, blowing him off as she had been all evening, one finger tracing over her notes. He resisted the urge to pull them out of her hands, knowing he might rip them on accident.

“Dee. Stop. Drink.”

“Yeah, just gimme a sec.”

“No, cause you said that five minutes ago. Drink.”

“I’m fine.”

“Holy shit.” He unscrewed the cap of the water bottle and held it over her notes, blocking her view. “Drink it or I’m pouring it.”

That got her attention enough, and when she looked up her gaze was icier than he’d ever seen it.

“You wouldn’t dare.”

“Try me.” He tilted it just barely.

“You’re annoying,” she grumbled, grabbing the bottle and taking a quick swig before trying to hand it off again.

“And you’re stubborn. Three more drinks, and then I’ll leave you alone.”

“You know, I’m two months away from a college degree, not a two year old.”

“Then you should know how important water is,” he countered, not budging an inch. She gave in to appease him, taking three long swallows before she passed it back to him, licking her lips slowly as she moved back down to her papers.

As if he wasn’t already worked up enough.

He was trying to behave, he really was. But there was just something about the way she was so focused. He’d always found ambition sexy, but it had been a long time since he’d seen someone academically driven, and he’d forgotten how attractive he found someone with intelligence. She was right there in front of him, hair pulled up in a loose bun on top of her head with a pencil stabbed through it somewhere - she didn’t need it, she had 17 different colored pens lined up in order on top of her planner page, which was full of blocked out times and perfect penmanship. She’d been chewing on her bottom lip, a nervous habit he’d noticed, but now it was bright pink and slightly swollen, and all he wanted to do was lean over and lay her down against the bed, kiss her rough, feel her skin under his hands, get her out of that damn cudi hoodie that he’d let her borrow a few nights ago.

“Flex.”

He only realized she was looking at him when he pulled himself out of his thoughts.

“Huh?”

“Take your shirt off and flex your arm.”

“Uh… why?”

“For science.”

His ego could have burst, and he couldn’t help the smug grin that spread across his face after he slipped his sweatshirt off over his head. He reached over and tucked a finger under her chin, tilting it up until she was looking at him with those bright blues that he hadn’t seen nearly enough that day.

“You know, if you wanted me to get naked, all you had to do was ask.”

For a moment he tried to remember what movie or book or show he’d ripped off just then, but he got distracted when Indy smacked him across his arm.

“I need to look at your muscle structure, not drool over you.”

He deflated immediately, in every form of the word.

“Oh.” It sounded small, even to himself, and it was apparently all it took for him to finally have her full attention. She frowned, guilt immediately spreading across her entire face.

“Hey, I didn’t mean it like that.”

It wasn’t often that Indiana did anything less than perfect (in his eyes anyways), so he jumped at the opportunity to milk it a bit.

“No it’s fine,” he muttered, toying with his fingers.

It worked.

It wasn’t two seconds later and she was intertwining her own fingers with his, tiny little pen marks of different colors on her skin as she pulled herself over towards him. Before he knew it his hands were on her waist and she was crawling into his lap, settling herself directly over him. She was a hair taller than him like that, and he tilted his head up to look at her, keeping his pout on his lips until she kissed it away.

“Sorry,” she murmured, lips moving against his as he traced his fingers over her sides, up under her hoodie to her warm skin. He felt her relax with each pass of his hands, the tension leaving her shoulders as she got lost in him.

“S’okay. Everybody gets a little grumpy when they’re stressed,” he hummed, thumbs running over the curve of her hips.

She pulled back from him immediately, offense all over her face.

“I am not grumpy.”

He waited for a moment, bold enough to raise his eyebrows at her but not to say anything.

And then her bottom lip was quivering, and he saw the tears welling up in the corners of her shiny eyes, and his stomach dropped faster than it ever had.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Baby what’s wrong?” He moved a hand up to her cheek before she crumpled forward onto his shoulder, her tears warm against his skin.

“I’m grumpy,” she moaned, followed by a sniffle.

“You’re crying… because I said you were grumpy?”

“No, because I am.”

He re-ran her words through his head a few times, only getting more confused.

“I’m not following.” He fessed up, bringing his hand up to run over her hair that was still tucked up in the messy bun that was tickling his cheek.

“I’m sorry. I’m just stressed out, and I get crazy with exams, I can’t help it, I’m sorry. I just… I can’t fuck this one up, and I’m gonna fail it. But that’s not your fault, and I shouldn’t be grumpy just because I’m stressed.”

The way that the worry in her voice pulled at his gut was a new sensation, something he’d never felt with anyone but Ethan, and even then it was different. He wanted nothing more than to be able to cheer her up, to make her feel better any way that he could.

“Hey. Look at me.”

She brought her head up slowly, eyes pink and irritated as she rubbed at them with the bottom of her sleeve.

“Have you ever actually failed an exam before?”

She shook her head and sniffled. If it wasn’t so sad, he would have thought it was adorable.

“Then there’s no reason to think you’re going to fail this one.”

“But-”

“What specific part are you on right now?” He kept up the bid to distract her, happy to see that no new tears were appearing.

“All the brachial muscles.”

“Brachial?”

“Arms. Arm muscles.”

He perked up, raising up an arm and flexing.

“I have those. Lots of those.”

He let the eye roll slide because of the laugh that followed it - he couldn’t think of something he’d produced that he was prouder of in the last month.

“My professor did say if we needed to look up muscle definition for reference to google pictures of Ryan Gosling, or Channing Tatum.”

Grayson wrapped his arms around her, but not before he snagged her phone and moved it out of her reach, getting another laugh from her.

“I think I would suffice.”

“You should be top of the list,” she hummed, kissing him again. He let her settle all her weight against him, which put her snug over his crotch in a way that she hadn’t been before, and he tried to think of absolutely anything else to keep himself from popping the most obvious boner he’d ever had. He felt like a high schooler again, with wild hormones that were ready to betray him at any moment.

And Indy had no mercy for him either, chasing away her worries through rough passes of her tongue against his, lips warm and urgent as she kissed him. It took all of his self control to keep himself from rolling her over, flipping her onto her back and really getting to work.

Luckily, her hands slid down his arms, over the ridges of his muscles and she hummed.

“Which one is that?” He took the chance for the distraction, looking over at the way her nails traced over his skin.

“Well this is the short head of the biceps brachii. This is the long head, and this is the pronator teres,” her fingers ran over the inside of his elbow, crossing over.

“What’s that do?”

“Pronates your arm.” He waited. “Like this.” She turned his arm so his palm was facing down.

“And you have a supinator too, which turns it the other way. It’s right… here.” She felt around on his forearm until she found a smaller muscle up by his elbow, squeezing it. Sure, he knew the basic muscles in his arms - anything he could target at the gym, plus anything important to build up for a planche. But it was incredible to him, the way she could trace a finger over his skin and mutter something to herself, another muscle, another nerve that went into it without having to look at any notes. She was content like that for a while, but eventually she perked up.

“Can I write on you? They’re skin safe pens.”

“You think I’m worried about skin safe pens?” He asked, looking down pointedly at the tattoos on his foot and ankle, the only ones she could see outside of his sweatpants.

“Oh shut up. My mom used to get so mad when I wrote shit on my hands, said I was gonna give myself ‘ink poisoning’, it’s habit.”

“My dad took me to get my first tattoo so… I think we’re good.”

The tug on his heart was a little less painful than it usually was.

“Play some Cudi. It helps me think.”

“Your wish, my command,” he teased, pulling out his phone.

She leaned him back against the pillows with a gentle push to his shoulder, moving her notes out of view and grabbing a black pen. He pulled up his Cudi playlist, letting his left arm rest against the comforter. Indy took it in her hands, moving it around with her pen held between her teeth, tracing fingertips over his skin as her mind worked ten times faster than Grayson’s probably ever had, he was sure.

Music filled the room, bringing in a more relaxing vibe as he tried to be a good model, only twitching when something tickled him - she didn’t seem to notice, so intent on scribbling the names of muscles he’d never heard of on his skin, his arm resting over her lap as she sat criss cross. He couldn’t resist tracing his fingertips over her skin where he could get to it, a gentle reminder that he was there for her, even if he was being quiet.

Ever since he could remember, Grayson had to be on the move. Had to be practicing, moving, working, doing something to keep his brain busy. It’s why he was in sports as a kid, why he was always starting new projects, always had 85 things going on in the background. But there, laid out on the comforter watching her wiggle around to the beat as she sang along, he couldn’t think of anything he would rather be doing. Even when she moved on to his ‘trunk’ muscles, made him hold his arm up and wrote serratus anterior across his ribs, he didn’t care. She never looked back at her notes, and he could tell she knew the information inside and out, but he humored her anyways, focusing in on the feeling of her fingers on his skin. Before he knew it, it was 11:30, and half of him was covered in Indy’s handwriting as he laid on his stomach and she wrote on his back.

“Done. I think that’s all of them.”

“Well, how do I look?” He peeked over his shoulder at her.

“Like a page of my notes,” she teased. “Come see.”

She tugged on his hand, leading him over to the mirror that hung behind her door. He stood tall next to her, a soft smile on his face as he looked over his skin.

“You really have to know all these?”

“And their origins and insertions,” she mumbled, leaning her cheek against his shoulder. “Where they start and where they end,” she explained. “I need to go to sleep.”

“Hang on.” He pulled his phone out of his pocket. “C’mere.”

She did as he asked, letting him pull her up against his side a bit more, angling so they looked good in the mirror before he snapped a quick picture.

“I look like death,” she mumbled, pouting a bit.

He just shook his head and kissed her forehead. “Let’s get you in bed.”

------------------------------------------

Indy woke up to her alarm in a cold bed - which a month ago wouldn’t have been a thought in her mind. But she knew that her personal space heater had definitely fallen asleep next to her last night, considering it was him running his fingers through her hair that lulled her down. So she stood up quickly, rubbing at her eyes and following the sound of movement towards her kitchen. But on her way she saw her backpack and her stomach turned - a reminder of the exam she had in just a few hours.

The only - and probably best - distraction that she could have had was what she found in the kitchen. Shirtless Grayson, moseying around in his own little world, bed head sticking up in six different directions with slightly smudged pen ink still on half of his torso. It took him a moment to notice her there, still in his sweatshirt with her hands covered by the end of the sleeves.

“Morning gorgeous,” he smiled, small knife in one hand and an avocado in the other. “Figured I could make you breakfast before you had to leave.”

She swallowed hard. The thought of eating anything with her stomach so tight made her mouth taste like metal.

“You can get ready if you want, it’ll be a minute before it’s done.”

Indy nodded and gave him the best smile she could muster before she went back into her room. She made it as quick as she could, pulling on a pair of leggings and a bra - it was tempting for her to put Grayson’s hoodie back on, but she went the hygienic route and found a cozy sweater, burnt orange fabric soft against her skin. She gathered up all her school things, triple checking that she had a pencil and two extras, her notes and her laptop so that she could study right before.

When she made it back out to the kitchen, there was a plate waiting for her, organized quite particularly with a piece of avocado toast and strawberries, with a mug of coffee steaming beside it.

She swallowed hard again.

“Look good?” He beamed, obviously proud of himself as he started working on his own.

“Yeah, it looks great.”

Indy forced herself to take a bite after she sat down, chewing it so many times that it went soggy in her mouth. She washed it down with coffee, which seemed to go much easier. So she stuck to that, taking sip after sip until the last bit was gone, bringing her mug back down to the table, hoping she’d played it off.

But the look on Grayson’s face when she finally put the mug down told her she was sorely mistaken.

“You don’t like it.” It wasn’t a question.

“No, no it’s not-”

“It’s okay, you don’t have to eat it.”

“Grayson-”

“It’s not-”

“No, Grayson, it’s not the toast. I love avocado toast.”

“You don’t love my avocado toast,” he pouted.

“It’s not that. I promise,” she sighed, her stomach only tightening even more.

“What is it then?”

“I’m anxious. And I can’t eat when I’m anxious cause it makes me nauseous. And then eating just makes me more nauseous.”

His face fell from a pout to concern in an instant.

“Baby why didn’t you say something?”

“Because! You got up and you made breakfast, cause you’re cute and you’re thoughtful and now it’s gonna go to waste because my brain is stupid.”

And then he was laughing - a light sound that filled the kitchen and broke through the awkwardness that had found its home in the air.

“You’re adorable.”

She frowned, and he moved around the counter so he could stand tall in front of her, stealing a strawberry off her plate and popping it in his mouth.

“So lunch, not breakfast, on exam days. Got it.”

“Gray, you don’t-”

“Shush. You said you wanted to study before for a little while, so you probably need to get going, right?”

He was right and she knew it, but it still made her huff. “I’ll make it up to you.”

“There’s nothing to make up. Now go ace your exam so we can have the rest of the afternoon, hmm? You sure you don’t want me to walk you?”

“I got it, it’s okay. Just hold down the fort here, and I’ll be back as soon as I’m done.”

She got out of her chair, pulled her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed her water bottle, turning back towards Grayson.

“Good luck, not that you need it. I’ll see you in a few hours.”

“What’re you gonna do while I’m gone?” She mused.

“Snoop,” he teased, squeezing her hip in his hand. “Actually I might hit a quick workout.”

“In here?” She looked around. “With what?”

“All you need for calisthenics is yourself and your muscles. You know my, uh-” he looked at his arm, squinting at the slightly smudged writing from the night before. “- flexor digitorum profundus, and uh… the rest of them.”

He knew he butchered the pronunciation, but he’d do it again to get the same laugh out of her.

“Last minute review, go,” he grinned, spinning around slowly so she could see all the work from the night before. She was still laughing when he stopped and grabbed her face with both hands, kissing her with a smile before making himself let go.

“Bye,” he mumbled. “You’re gonna fuckin’ kill it.”

“Bye.” Love you. She held herself back from saying it, leaning up to give him one final kiss on the cheek before she turned and headed towards the door.

----------------------------------------------------------

When Grayson took exams in ‘high school’, it usually consisted of him and Ethan sitting next to each other on the couch with their notes spread out in front of them, picking each other’s far too similar brains for the answers.

Indiana on the other hand, was a solo everything. Solo test taker, obviously, but also solo studier, solo crammer, solo sit-before-the-exam-and-panic. Which worked out in her favor when she finished the exam - first in the class every time - because she didn’t feel the need to wait for anyone to discuss it. And she was especially thankful for it that day, because she had no reason to stay in the science building any longer than she needed to. She was out of the room, down the stairs and out onto the street immediately, with the image of Grayson laid out on the couch waiting for her at home pacing her steps even faster than usual.

But when she unlocked the door, there was no 6ft italian on her couch. In fact, there was no 6ft italian anywhere that she could see, and it took her a minute to place the sound of the shower running from her bathroom as she sat her bag down. The relief of having the exam out of the way was almost euphoric as she flopped down onto the bed and stared up at her ceiling, breathing her first easy breath in a few days. She stretched her arms up above her head and let her body fully settle down as she waited for her boyfriend to reappear.

Grayson, on the other hand, was taking his sweet time in the shower, and trying to ensure that there was no evidence that he’d definitely borrowed her razor to shave the puff of his chest hair that was a little too long for his liking. Needless to say, it was another 15 minutes before he made it out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist to head out into Indy’s room to find his bag. His hair was still dripping as he leaned over and searched for a pair of decent boxers.

“Boo.”

The towel was centimeters from falling off when he practically jumped out of his skin, but Indy wasn’t about to complain.

“Holy fuck you scared me! When did you get back?!” He gasped, trying to catch his breath as he clutched the fabric around him. It was low enough to show off the V lines that Indy had first noticed while they were cliff jumping, and it had her mind derailing in a much different direction.

“Like twenty minutes ago. I think you take longer showers than I do,” she teased, propping up on her elbows so she could actually look at him.

Jesus christ.

“Hang on, let me put pants on.”

You don’t have to, she wanted to say, but she bit her tongue and just enjoyed the view.

Pants, luckily, were just some very tight and short boxers that left little to the imagination when he re-emerged from the bathroom that he’d ducked away to change in.

“So how’d it go, how was the exam?”

“I missed two.”

He blinked at her a few times.

“Questions?”

“Yep.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know.”

“But… how… you know what, nevermind,” he laughed, shaking his head gently before he threw his towel over his hair and started to rub it dry.

“What?” She laughed with him, and a bit at him, for the adorable way that his hair had become fluffy from the towel when he tossed it to the side.

“I’m not even gonna try to understand your brain anymore. I give up, I forfeit.” He threw his hands up in defeat, and Indy watched the way it made his abs move. She swallowed hard, her skin buzzing as she tried to keep her tone playful while her stomach floated.

“You forfeit? You?”

He seemed entirely unfazed - it struck her that he was probably very much used to girls looking at him and imagining all the things they wanted him to do to them. She tried not to dwell on it, and to remind herself for a moment that he was there in front of her, in her bedroom, in boxers. Very tight boxers, with a very, very clear outline of his dick.

“C’mere.” She took her moment of vindication and ran with it, reaching out a hand for him as he grabbed a pair of sweatpants. He raised his eyebrows at her but obliged, taking her hand and letting him pull her over to the bed so he was sitting on the edge. She swung herself over into his lap, happy to feel his hands settle on her hips to hold her there, sweatpants dropping to the floor.

“Well hi,” he hummed as her arms wrapped around his neck. “Whatcha doin’?” His tone was still playful, less affected than she wanted it to be, almost like he didn’t realize what type of mood she’d suddenly found herself in. It was true that most of the time, he was making the moves - but only because he was so touchy that she never needed to.

So she kissed him before she answered, harder than usual, slipping her tongue into his mouth before he could get to hers. She let her hands roam through his soft hair, nails against his scalp as she tilted his head back to change the angle of his lips, shifting herself up with her forearms on his wide shoulders. He grunted a bit, breaking free of the kiss to press a few to her neck, his scruff deliciously rough against the sensitive skin.

When he pulled back his pupils were blown wide, eyes trained up on her face, flickering down to her neck, then her boobs, which were far too hidden under her clothes.

“I said I was gonna make it up to you,” she finally answered. “So let me.”

“Fuck yes,” he mumbled, hands immediately bunching in the bottom of her sweater. His instinct was to strip it directly over her head, but he paused as he pulled it up, looking at her for reassurance. She nodded with a soft smile, lifting her arms up as he guided it off, revealing the skin he hadn’t seen yet. Sure, her crop top had been small, and even more revealing once it was wet, but-

“This hits different,” he murmured, hands moving to hold onto her, thumbs rubbing over her ribcage on either side.

“This hits different?” She said, eyes going incredulously wide before her head fell back in a laugh, which turned into a squeal when Grayson buried his face in her cleavage for a moment just to get a reaction. He reveled in the feeling of her hands back in his hair, even if it was to pull him back.

“Can I take this off?” He kissed the swell of each boob, hands ghosting over the back of her bra as he spoke.

“Yes. Please.”

He did as she asked, flicking the clasp open with ease and catching her lips with his again as he guided the straps off her arms and tossed the black garment somewhere behind her. As soon as he could he leaned her back a bit, holding her there with his hands spread against her back as he kissed down her neck, over her collarbone and down to her boob. The angle wasn’t quite right for him to get enough of what he wanted, so he sat back up instead, vowing to himself to give her tits the attention they deserved later. He kept the next kiss slow, wrapping his arms all the way around her torso so he could press her against him, feel every possible inch of her skin against his. It was bliss in its rawest form, and he would have been mostly content to stay just like that.

His dick had other ideas, hard to the point of almost painful underneath her warmth as she settled over him, his boxers too thin to show him any mercy. Every time she shifted above him it sent a jolt of heat straight through him, and it wasn’t long before he rolled them to the side, taking control of the situation before he literally came in his boxers.

Indy didn’t seem to mind, beaming up at him as she settled on her back, her flushed skin on display above the white comforter. It was a beautiful sight if Grayson had ever seen one, and he just looked at her for a moment, tried to etch it into his brain so he’d never forget. He’d had his fair share of girls on a bed in front of him - honestly, more than he was proud to admit. It always just happened so fast, where one minute they were talking and within the weekend they were tangled up in eachother.

But Indy was different - there was an innocence about the blush in her cheeks and the way she crossed her legs a bit, like she was hiding from him even though she still had her leggings on. It was driving him insane, and it took all his willpower to remind himself to go slow, to focus and cherish every minute of it that he could.

So he climbed over her, sinking down to kiss her again and letting some of his weight rest on her, happy to feel her smile against him.

“You okay?” He asked, kissing down her jawline slowly, over to her ear and then down her neck. Her hair smelled like vanilla where it tickled his nose.

“Mmmm,” was her only response, and he took it as his sign to move farther south, brushing his lips along her collarbone. “More than okay,” she breathed, back arching just barely to meet him.

“You wanna keep going?” Please. Please.

“Do you?” She asked quietly - he could hear the nerves in her tone, and it stopped him in his tracks. He propped himself up so he had a full view of her face.

“Only if you do.”

She bit her lip, looking up at him. The hesitation was enough for him to start to move off of her, mind already trying to remember where he’d thrown her sweater so she could cover herself back up. Her hand wrapped around his arm before he could get any further.

“No wait! Wait, I do. I do want to, I promise, it’s just… it’s uh… it’s been a while.”

He’d never seen her face so red, and then she was talking over herself to try and get the words out fast enough.

“And by a while I literally mean like… years. I’m talking uh, junior year of high school. And I can tell you that they obviously didn’t know what they were doing, so I feel like I have no idea what I’m doing, and I just wanted you to know that before we really, like, got into it, and…”

He stopped her lips with his, waiting until her body gave way to him and relaxed underneath his hands before he pulled away.

“Baby, I couldn’t care less when the last time you slept with somebody was, or if you know what you’re doing. You have nothing to be nervous about.”

“Says the experienced one,” she teased, but he could tell his words had given her at least a little bit of comfort.

“Just let me take care of you. You deserve it, you worked so damn hard all week, now you get to relax.”

“You’re in charge,” she breathed.

“I like that.” He flashed her a playful grin before he really got to work, kissing down to her chest and paying specific attention to her nipples to get her worked up again. It didn’t take long, and when her back arched up he slid his hands down to her leggings, letting his fingers hook in the waistband.

“You ready for these to come off?”

“Yeah. Yours too though.”

He pulled everything off her at once, jokingly backing up and tugging to make her laugh until the ends popped off her feet. He tossed them aside and moved to his own boxers, pushing them down and stepping out of them, using his foot to kick them away.

“Jesus,” Indy said, and then immediately slapped a hand over her mouth, eyes wide in embarrassment. Grayson couldn’t help but to bust out laughing, the kind that went through his whole body, made him clutch at his chest.

“Was that a good Jesus or a bad Jesus?”

“A good Jesus. Is bad Jesus even a thing?” She mused, laughter and excitement overriding some of her nerves as he moved above her again. His kisses started at her boobs this time and moved down slowly, almost torturously light brushes of his lips against her skin. Grayson eased her legs open with one hand, reaching up and under her thigh with the other, searching until he found her hand and laced their fingers together. It settled her in a way that only he could, and she let out the breath she’d been holding, sucking in another one when he ran his fingers over her for the first time. Her body jolted at the feeling and he pressed a kiss to her thigh.

“You’re fucking perfect,” he said, and instead of making her blush, the words just made her wetter somehow - she already felt like she was dripping. He dipped one finger into her and she forced her muscles to relax, let herself melt into the comforter as he leaned forward and started in with his tongue, small flicks at first that already had her twitching. It was obvious that he knew what he was doing, but unbeknownst to Indy he was enjoying her inexperience - it made her more reactive, made him feel special that he was the one who got to give her this. It focused him as he tried to read her body, find the right angles and spots to make her tick as he moved up to two fingers, stretching her slightly to get her ready.

“Oh god,” she whimpered, hand squeezing his so tight it was borderline painful, but he wouldn’t move it for the world as she clung to him.

“All good?”

“Yes, yes, god that feels good.”

He could practically feel his chest puff up before he dove back in with renewed purpose, eyes trained up on her as he watched, tried to find her tells so he could commit them to memory as he explored her with his tongue. He found it when her breath hitched and her back arched for a moment, and then her legs were shaking beside either side of his head, a blissful whimper falling from her lips and filling the room as she came. It was easy to work her through it, and he backed off when her legs twitched towards closing, letting her catch her breath.

“C’mere,” she mumbled, tugging on his hand until he crawled back up her body, a bit surprised when she brought a hand up to his hair and pulled his lips down to hers.

“Fuck me.” It came out as a whisper, but all that familiar Indy confidence had returned to her tone as she hooked a leg up onto his back in an attempt to get him closer to her. He groaned into her mouth, biting at her lip as his dick rubbed against her, warm and wet.

“You sure?”

She just pushed him a bit further as her answer, letting go of his hand so she could wrap both her arms around his back, fingers running over the ridges of muscles that she was familiar with now.

He reached a hand between them, lined himself up carefully until just the head of his dick was settled inside of her. Eyes on her face, he started to move, stopping when she sucked in a deep breath through her nose.

“Don’t let me hurt you, you gotta talk to me,” he said, tone suddenly serious. The last thing he wanted was to be over eager. She nodded at him, eyes still closed as she tried to relax.

“Just go slow.”

With anyone else, it probably would have taken every ounce of willpower he had to hold himself back. But his concern for her overrode his own needs, and he aired on the side of caution, moving slowly in small thrusts, gaining a bit more each time. His head was clear enough until Indy grabbed his face and brought it back to hers, leaning up for a deep kiss that had him spinning. He could have busted right there when she moaned into his mouth, nails sharp against his cheeks as her head fell back. With her neck exposed in front of him he couldn’t resist leaving his mark, sucking a quick hickey by her collarbone.

“Fuck me Gray, please, please,” she groaned, her own way of giving him the go ahead. He picked up his pace, holding himself up with one arm and grabbing her hip with the other, keeping her steady. Indy didn’t know where to put her own hands, so she settled for exploring, tracing over Grayson wherever she could reach, appreciating every inch in front of her as best she could with the feeling of him inside of her, filling her up so much she was sure she was always going to feel empty without him.

“Fuck,” he huffed out, the first sign he’d given her that she was doing something right. She tested it out, running her nails down his side, over his ribs, watching the way it made his eyes roll back just slightly, made his abs tense up. It was a race then, trying to see who could get the other to come undone first, with angles and groans and touches and whispers in each other's ears.

Grayson won.

Her second orgasm was somehow stronger than the first, and she was so caught up in the stars that she barely registered that Grayson had pulled out. He stayed close above her as he finished himself off, cum shooting onto both of their chests as he groaned, barely able to hold himself up with just one arm.

Needless to say he collapsed next to her on the bed to catch his breath as they both stared up at the ceiling. Indy moved first, finding his hand again with hers and holding on, eventually pulling it up to her lips so she could kiss each of his knuckles.

“Woah,” was the word he finally chose when enough oxygen caught back up to him.

“Good woah or bad woah?”

He rolled over onto his side at that, raising his eyebrows.

“You have to ask?”

“Well it was amazing for me, but that doesn’t mean it was amazing for you,” she explained, only making him shake his head.

“You underestimate yourself too much. It was perfect. Best first time I’ve had with anyone, ever.”

She flushed pink at his words, looking down at herself and the mess that they’d made.

“I know you just showered but… you wanna join me?”

Instead of answering, he just stood up, glad that his legs weren’t wobbly as he scooped her up from the bed, laughing at her squeal as he carried her to the bathroom.

--------------------------------------

“Earrings, you do too much.”

“It’s nothing, just something for you to have while we can’t visit. Indy helped pick it out.”

Indy offered Bekah a smile as Grayson spoke, trying to keep her mindset positive. Which was much easier said than done, considering Bekah looked like she’d lost ten pounds since the last time they’d seen her, especially with the oxygen cannula in her nose. Still, she had the biggest smile on her face as she reached inside of the massive gift bag that Grayson had put together for her earlier that day. Indy watched as she pulled out the blanket they’d found, adorned with cute little smiling pumpkins and black cats with their backs arched.

“For spooky season, you know?” It hit Indy then that it was already mid October when they were shopping earlier, and by the look on Bekah’s face she hadn’t realized it either. It felt like September had only been a few days ago.

“We love cute spooky vibes,” Bekah smiled, trying to get it the rest of the way out of the bag. Her monitors started to beep more rapidly, her oxygen levels dropping.

“Here, let me help,” Indy offered, moving to the bag and pulling the rest of the blanket out, sitting it at the end of the bed. Bekah gave her a quiet thankful smile and took a few deep breaths through her nose before moving back into the bag. It was full of small decorations that she could sit around her room, and a few halloween themed coloring books and word searches to keep her mind busy - Indy knew she liked those. The nurses had decided to air on the side of caution and have her isolate for five days prior to her surgery, which meant she would need something to keep her mind busy.

“You all didn’t have to do this,” she said, laying back against the pillows.

“We wanted to. I’m sorry we can’t come see you,” Indy sighed, adjusting her blankets and moving around some of her tubes and lines. Grayson knew she was fidgeting because she was nervous, but he didn’t say anything.

“S’okay. Don’t really want you all to see me like that anyways. Don’t really want you all to see me like this either but here we are.”

One of the downfalls of being in the medical field was knowing more than you wanted to. Indy knew the chances of Bekah’s surgery going well. She knew the percentages, knew how bad she already had to be for them to even be considering something above chemo. Her weakness, her need for oxygen, everything else. They were all major red flags on a textbook page, signs she would highlight on a case report that could be consolidated into one word - declining.

But she couldn’t quite get herself to use that word, to rationalize it when it was Beks in front of her. She seemed smaller now than she had the first time Indy had met her, and it unsettled her in a way that made her want to scream and cry at the same time. Grayson served as the anchor in the room, the solid middle ground that she could cling to and distract herself with to keep from spiraling. She wished she could physically sit by him, lean against him and feel his warmth. But they were sticking to their rules - nothing coupley in front of Bekah.

“You guys should go do something while you can’t come see me. You spend a bunch of time here, you deserve a hospital vacation,” Bekah mused, picking at a few spare pieces of lint on the blanket. “Do something together even, keep her from worrying about me for the entire week.” She looked at Grayson when she spoke that time, and Indy frowned.

“I’m gonna worry about you no matter where in the world I am, so suck it up.”

She managed enough energy to stick her tongue out, but even that seemed to take a lot out of her.

“Grayson, can you go see if Jessica can get me some water?”

“Of course. I’ll be right back.” He jumped at the opportunity, giving them both a quick smile before he went out in the hallway in search of Jessica.

Indiana was not so quick to assume, and turned to Bekah expectantly, heart breaking as she saw the start of tears in her eyes.

“Can we uh, can we cuddle for a minute? Like we used to?”

“Of course we can.”

It was rare that Bekah asked for anything, much less physical comfort of any kind. Indy had only done this a handful of times in the years that she’d known her, and it put a pit in her stomach to realize just how bad she must be feeling to even think about asking for it. She pushed the thoughts aside, climbing in the bed next to Bekah and pulling the blanket over the two of them, wrapping her arm around her so she could rest against her shoulder. She ignored the feeling of her tears when they started to soak through her shirt. They sat in silence for a moment before Bekah finally spoke again, voice at a whisper.

“Indy I’m scared.” The vulnerability in her voice was a dagger into Indy, and it took all her power to keep herself steady.

“I know. I am too. But if anybody can get through it, it’s you. You always have.”

“This time feels different.”

“Hey, don’t think like that, okay? Gotta go in with a positive mindset.” The words felt phony even as she spoke them, but it was a knee jerk reaction that at least got an eye roll out of Bekah, which helped her to stop her tears before Grayson came back in with a bottle of water and a cup of ice.

“I couldn’t find Jessica, so I just bought one and got a cup of ice from the lounge. Is that okay?”

“I don’t drink Dasani.”

Grayson deadpanned, looking down at the bottle and then back at Bekah, then over at Indy like she could do something to help.

“Kidding Earrings,” she teased, laughing a bit when his shoulders slumped down. “But, I will give you a 30 second pass on treating me like I have cancer and opening that bottle for me.”

He did as she asked, opening it up and pouring it for her with a sympathetic smile that she would have given him shit for any other day. Grayson didn’t say a word about the way they were curled up in the bed - he just sat at the end of it, putting two and two together and realizing she’d probably asked him to leave for a reason.

When 8pm rolled around, it was hugs goodbye and promises for facetime calls if she felt up for it. But mostly it was the unspoken fear that hung over the three of them like a cloud, and it only darkened as the walls lost their color on the way back out of the pediatric wing.

By the time they made it into the elevator Indy could barely speak around the lump in her throat. So instead, she decided to hide, wrapping her arms around Grayson as soon as the doors closed behind them and burying her face in his neck.

“Hey, shhh, shhh,” he murmured, holding her close to him and praying no one had hit the button for the first floor. He kissed her hair.

“Take me to Jersey. Please.” If he’d asked her why, she wouldn’t have had an answer.

Luckily, he didn’t.

“Okay.”

He took charge then, leading them home with his arm wrapped tight around her waist. When they got to the apartment he helped her pack an overnight bag in a bid to get it done faster, slinging it over his shoulder as they headed back out into the streets, to the garage where he paid an astronomical amount to park the truck any time he came into the city.

She didn’t even bother with the passenger seat, immediately sliding across the bench to curl up next to him as they started down the road. At one point he texted Lisa and Ethan, giving them the heads up that Indy was coming back with him, but she was already asleep by then, laying down with her head against his thigh, the stress of the last few days and hours catching up with her it seemed. He kept an arm over her the whole way home, just in case.

Indy woke up to the mixture of the bumps of gravel under the tires and the sound of Grayson singing Tame Impala slightly off key above her. A sense of peace washed over her when she sat up and saw the familiar glow of Lisa’s house amongst the trees, but Grayson’s worry was filling the cab as he put the truck in park.

“I’m okay.” She answered before he asked.

“No you aren’t.”

“I’m okay enough. I just… I feel better out here. I feel better with you, wherever you are.”

He hugged her to him, breathing her in as his arms coiled around her.

“Then I’ll always be here. I promise.”

It was as if time froze in that little cab, in each other's arms, until finally the October chill seeped in enough for them to give in and head to the house. If Lisa had noticed the time they spent in the driveway, she didn’t act like it. Instead, she lit up as if two of her kids had walked through the door and not just one.

“Hi guys! How was the drive? You hit traffic?”

“Hey Ma.” Grayson went in for a mom hug - one of those things you take for granted until you can’t have it anymore. But when he let her go Lisa moved on to Indy, and it felt so close to an actual mom hug that she almost teared up.

“Ryan and Ethan are in Cameron’s room setting up the mics, but if you need to eat first there’s vegan spaghetti in the fridge.”

It was obvious by Grayson’s face that he’d forgotten about the podcast all together in the last few hours. Indy smiled at him, tried to convey with her eyes that she was fine, because she was.

“Go work. I’ll still be here when you get back,” she reassured him. “We’ll have some girl time.”

“It’ll be an hour, tops.”

“Don’t rush. Have fun.”

He pressed a quick kiss to her cheek and then headed up the stairs.

Lisa waited until his footsteps stopped, considering they could hear them all the way to Cameron’s room, and then she turned to Indy with a smile.

“So, do you need a girls night or a distraction night?”

“A distraction night?”

“Something to get your mind off things. You seem like you’re in your head. Was it your exam? Did it go okay?”

She blushed at the thought of Grayson talking about her with his mom. “He told you that?”

“Oh honey he tells me all about you. When he gets to talking about something that he loves, he doesn’t shut up. Got that from his dad.”

“Sean talked a lot?”

“Oh all the time. If you got him started on anything sports he went on for hours, and the boys always ate it up. They were mini-him’s growing up. You know they started wrestling each other when they were two years old? Actual maneuvers he taught them when I wasn’t looking - I coulda killed him when I found out.”

And with that, Lisa led on a distraction night without Indy even realizing. Stories of Sean mostly, her voice full of love with just that hit of sorrow that you only get when someone is too far away from you. Things shifted when Lisa asked about Nicole, and Indy found herself remembering stories that she hadn’t told anyone in years. The time they went camping in Georgia and skunks took over the campground, or the time she’d scored the game winning shot in a high school basketball game and her mom tackled her, right in there with her teammates.

“You know, if there’s ever anything ‘mom’ related that you need, whether it’s a haircut or just a hug, I’m always here. And that goes for when Grayson isn’t around either - my door is always open.”

“Thank you Lisa. That means a lot. More than you know.”

They were hugging when the three boys came back down the stairs, laughter bouncing off the walls as they continued a debate that was definitely a part of the pod. They enveloped Lisa into the conversation, but Indy wasn’t listening. Her attention was on Grayson alone, watching the way his nose scrunched when he laughed just hard enough, and the way he leaned his head against his mom’s shoulder when she stood by him. His eyes flickered over to hers often, and eventually he continued the conversation from right above her head, his chin resting on her, throat vibrating when she spoke.

Eventually goodnights and goodbyes were given and everyone went on to their respective rooms, Grayson grabbing her bag and taking it with them. They made quick time of their nightly routine, finding themselves in pajamas with minty breath and fresh faces in no time, eager to climb into bed and find solace in each other again.

Indy moved first, nuzzling up to his neck as soon as he opened the blanket up for her to climb in. He tucked it around her before wrapping her up in his own arms and peppering kisses along her forehead.

“You wanna talk about it?”

“Not really. Not tonight.”

“Okay. What did you and my mom talk about?”

“You mostly. And your dad. She had so many stories about him.” She traced a triangle over his chest to keep herself busy, feeling his breath filling up his chest. “I’m sorry.”

“What are you sorry for?”

“That you lost him. And that I can’t give you him back.”

“Nobody can bring people back Dee. You don’t have to be sorry about that.”

“But I can’t even give you a little. Your mom treats me like I’m one of her kids, so when I’m here, just for a minute, it feels like I have a little bit of my mom back. And I can’t give you that. You deserve that.”

He shifted so he could see her, cup her face with his hand.

“Indiana Cross. You don’t have to give me anything but yourself. And I don’t even deserve that. You hear me? I love you. For you. Not for anything else that you could ever give me. Okay?”

“You love me?”

“Of course I do.” He leaned down to kiss her slowly, as if to make her feel his words. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

She let the weight of her head, and her heart, rest in his palm.

“I love you too.”

#SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG LMAO #pls lemme know what u think I'll love u forever #mixtape #grayson dolan fanfic #grayson dolan fanfiction #grayson dolan #dolan twins #dolan twins fanfic #dolan twins fanfiction

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spencersglasses · 4 years

Text

Paradise

A/N: *GIF IS NOT MINE* sup y’all! i know it’s been a phat sec since i’ve posted a fic but i was playing Paradise by Coldplay on my guitar and this idea popped into my head :) i know it’s not amazing but hope y'all enjoy!!! ALSO REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Couple: Spencer Reid x Reader

Category: ANGST with small bits of fluff

Warnings: TRIGGER WARNING!!! mentions of blood/case details (involving children), death (of a CHILD), self depreciation, lots of crying

Word Count: 1,690

Summary: Reader blames herself for the death of a victim so she sings her heart out the second she gets home.

———————————

3 minutes and 15 seconds. That’s how late I was. 3 minutes and 15 seconds. Because of my ignorance, a 10 year old beautiful little innocent girl is dead.

Her name was Addylin Louise Davis, a bright 10 year old girl from Charlotte, North Carolina. She was a friend of a previous victim within this case, Tiana Lee. Best friends, inseparable, is how both sets of parents described them. I was the agent assigned to sit and hang out with Addilyn while her parents were questioned in regards to Tiana’s murder. Her parents had already told Addilyn that Tiana was, “in a better place.” Although she didn’t quite understand what they meant, she was still upset to know that she won’t be able to see her best friend again. When I was with her, I decided to ask her about her toys and what she wanted to be when she grew up. Watching her eyes sparkle and fill with passion when she spoke about wanting to become a chef. The entire time she was at the station, she never fled from my side, sticking to me as if her life depended on it.

Now, as I stand over her lifeless body as the rest of the team cuffs and drags the unsub out of the building, I can’t help but want to scream. The tears streaming down my face were enough to blur the image of her before me. I kneeled down and held her hand, which could only fit around my ring finger less than 24 hours ago, now feeling as cold as ice. I lay a small kiss on her, praying that she’s no longer in pain. Praying that she and Tiana are having the time of their lives in heaven.

As I was about to let go, I felt a hand on my shoulder, causing me to jump slightly.

“Sorry,” Spencer apologized, removing his hand quickly. “The parents are here, the coroner needs to take her now.”

I gave a slight nod, looking back at Addilyn. I lay her hand back down gently upon her chest, slowly standing back up.

As we walked out of the unsub’s house, I immediately saw the parents. Their faces were covered in worry and pain; they haven’t been told the news. I walked over to Hotch, asking if I could be the one to deliver the news. He gave me a sad look, slightly nodding. I nodded back before making my way over to the parents. They immediately looked up at me, seeing the pain in my face and the blood on my hand that held their daughters.

“I’m so sorry.” is all I could say. I watched as both the parents broke down before me, the overbearing pain overtaking them. I turned away and walked back towards my team, shielding my face because of the tears streaming down my face. When I looked up, all I could see were looks of sympathy from everyone. Before anyone could ask if I was okay, I confirmed,

“I’m fine, let's just wrap things up and get home.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The flight back home was silent. The same happened almost every time we had a case that went badly, especially ones involving children. Most of the team were asleep towards the back of the plane while I chose to sit by the window towards the front. No matter how hard I attempted to fall asleep, all I could see was Addilyn. Every time I blinked or closed my eyes for a millisecond, she was there.

Spencer was the only member of the team who was on my side of the plane. Knowing how I get during cases like this, he understood that I needed my space and would come to him if I needed anything.

Once the plane landed, Hotch decided to let the team off the hook for the night because of how intense the case had been. Spencer and I immediately said our goodbyes and made our way to our car as quick as possible. The drive home was comfortably silent, Spencer being the one to drive because he knew I wasn’t in the best state of mind for driving right now. His hand was on my thigh the entire way home. Although I wasn’t one for physical touch in times like these, I didn’t mind it too much.

As the door swung open, I immediately bee lined towards the shower. Although I had cleaned up at the station, I still felt like I was covered in blood and dirt. Letting the warm water wash over my body, I closed my eyes for longer than I intended, seeing images of Addilyn pop back into my brain. I felt the hot tears streaming down my face as I opened my eyes, attempting to erase the guilt that overtook my body whenever I thought of her. I stepped out of the shower after shampooing, conditioning and scrubbing my body. I wrapped myself in a towel, making my way out of the bathroom into Spencer and I’s shared bedroom. We had decided to move into Spencer’s apartment, as it was bigger than mine and could accommodate both of our things. The smell of cinnamon and books lifted some of the weight off my shoulders and I began to get redressed in one of Spencer's old shirts and my own old basketball shorts.

Although my body was begging me to just jump in bed and sleep, my mind was too caught up with the case to allow me the pleasure. So, I resorted to one of my most therapeutic activities. I grabbed my guitar from the corner of the bedroom and sat on our bed. I tuned it by ear before relishing in it’s beautiful sounds. I grabbed my capo that was attached to the top of the guitar and clipped it on the 3 thret, strumming downwards to make sure I was playing in the correct key. The only song I could think of when Addilyn came into my mind was Paradise by Coldplay.

As I began strumming to the beat, I could feel my worries fade slightly before I reached the verse. But as I began to sing, everything came back to run me over like a truck.

“When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach, so she ran away in her sleep and dream of Para, Para, Paradise. Para, Para, Paradise. Para, Para, Paradise. Every time she closed her eyes.” I sang, feeling myself choke up, the tears streaming down my face once again.

Little to my knowledge, Spencer had heard you starting to sing, feeling his heart wrench at how your voice broke. He knew how therapeutic playing guitar was for you and he loved hearing you sing when you played. He was sitting on the couch, reading War and Peace for what felt like the 100th time. As he set down his book, taking a mental note about where he was, he walked over to the closed bedroom door, lightly knocking 3 times. He heard a small, “Come in,” from the other side of the door. When he turned the knob, his heart broke at the site. As he tried not to show his emotions, he asked, “Can I listen?”

I gave him a quick nod as he sat down on the bean bag chair in the corner of the room. I continued to play through the chorus before reaching the second verse.

“When she was just a girl, she expected the world. But it flew away from her reach, and the bullet catch in her teeth. Life goes on, it gets so heavy. The wheel breaks the butterfly, every tear a waterfall. In the night, the stormy night, she closed her eyes. In the night, the stormy night away she’d fly. And dream of Para, Para, Paradise. Para, Para, Paradise, Para, Para, Paradise. Oh. She dream of Para, Para, Paradise. Para, Para, Paradise, Para, Para, Paradise.”

As I finished the second verse, I looked up at Spencer. I could see the tears flowing out of his eyes as well. He looked hypnotized by my strumming and singing, as if he couldn’t hear my voice constantly breaking or going off pitch at the notes that were slightly out of my range. I knew that if I didn’t finish the song now, I wouldn’t be able to for the rest of the night, so I played through the chorus as I reached the bridge.

“La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. So lying underneath the stormy sky. She said oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. I know the sun was set to rise. This could be Para, Para, Paradise. Para, Para, Paradise, Para, Para, Paradise. Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh.”

Instead of playing through the other 5 repeats, I brought the song to its end by playing down strums, humming the ending. As I finished, I heard a faint clapping coming from Spencer. I looked up to see that he was crying just as much as I was. I put the guitar back where it was then sitting back down on the bed, patting a spot next to myself. Spencer came and sat next to me, opening his arms for me to cling onto him if I needed to. I accepted the offer and we just sat there, hugging, crying to ourselves.

“You have a great voice by the way.” Spencer finally broke the comfortable silence through his sniffles. I chuckled, thanking him. “I’m here for you, you know that right?” Spencer asked seriously, moving his body back in the slightest so he could look me in the eye. I nodded, finally feeling drowsy after singing my heart out. I looked back up at him, admiring his now blushed face, still a little wet from the previous tears. I give him a little kiss on the cheek before saying, “I’m here for you too. Let’s head to bed before one of the neighbors files a noise complaint.” Earning a slight chuckle from Spencer.

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softlass27 · 4 years

Text

a wee fic based on the chas/al affair rumours :)

AO3 link here

(obviously robert never went to prison in this universe)

“No, Nicola, I don’t know what your anniversary plans are – nor do I wish to know – and Jimmy really needs to be in that meeting so just tell him… ” Robert trails off when he spots Aaron trudge through the front door looking like someone had just run over his dog.

“Gotta go, tell Jimmy to be ready first thing tomorrow.” He hangs up the call, indifferent to the sound of Nicola’s indignant shrieks on the other end.

“Hey,” he calls tentatively as Aaron kicks his shoes off and enters the kitchen. “What’s up?”

“Just come from the pub… ”

“And?”

Aaron slumps down into the chair next to him and sighs heavily. “My mum’s been havin’ an affair.”

“What, seriously?”

“Yeah.”

Robert’s mouth curls into a sly grin before he can stop it. Oh, how the tables turn.

Aaron catches the look on his face and gives him a light smack on the arm. “Oi, this isn’t funny!”

“No, sorry, course it isn’t,” Robert clears his throat and schools his face into a more sympathetic expression. It’s not like they hadn’t thought something was coming – Aaron had been convinced Chas was acting suspiciously for weeks now – but it’s probably still a bit of a shock for his husband. “What happened, then?”

“Dunno how it all came out, I got there just in time to see the whole thing kicking off in front of everyone. Mum crying, Paddy storming out, the works. Half the village probably knows by now.”

“God. Who’s she been carrying on with, then?”

“Al.”

“Al?”

“Yep.”

“Al who slept with Marlon’s wife and still goes out of his way to make him miserable at every opportunity? That Al?”

“I just said so, didn’t I?”

“Wow, after all the grief she’s been giving Belle about family loyalty these last few months… I’m shocked. Shocked and appalled.”

“Right, if you’re not gonna take this seriously, I’m gonna walk right back out that door.” Aaron scowls and rises from his seat, only for Robert to grab his arm and pull him down again.

“No, wait, I’m sorry. I’m listening, I swear. You have to admit, though, it’s a bit ironic.”

Aaron rolls his eyes, but gives a reluctant nod.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah, I guess,” Aaron shrugs, though his eyes look sad. “Just… sucks that they’re breaking up like this.”

“Well… it’s been on the cards for a while, I suppose.”

“What’re you on about?” Robert winces when Aaron frowns at him. Apparently that was the wrong thing to say. “Okay, yeah, they’ve had a rough go of things but they’ve been alright. They’ve got Eve now and I thought – I thought they were doin' better.”

“Aaron,” Robert gently takes his hand, feeling his heart give a painful tug at his husband’s downcast expression. “You remember what they were like on lockdown, right? The endless calls you got from your mum ranting about how Paddy was driving her mad. Or vice versa, if he was feeling brave enough to dare complain. Frankly, I’m amazed the pub didn’t turn into a crime scene.”

The longer lockdown had dragged on, the more phone calls and texts Aaron had received from Chas, to the point where Robert had seriously considered chucking his phone into the stream on their daily walk. Hour after hour Aaron – and by extension Robert – had to listen to the same complaints; another day of arguments, another day of silent treatment, another day of disagreeing about Eve, another day where Paddy’s very presence seemed to drive her over the edge.

Not that Robert could blame her, but hey, she was the one who chose to be with the man. He can’t imagine ever speaking about Aaron like that. Hell, he never would’ve spoken about Chrissie like that, not when they were together.

“That’s not how it’s supposed to be. I think this year… has put some things into perspective for people. Divorce rates are sky high, apparently, loads of couples have realised they’re not as compatible as they thought. And maybe Chas and Paddy are one of those couples.”

Personally Robert’s always thought of Chas and Paddy as the least compatible couple he’d ever been unfortunate enough to know, but he decides to keep that to himself for now. Probably not helpful.

“Mum and Paddy aren’t actually married,” is all Aaron says, chewing his thumbnail. “Never got round to it, remember?”

“Doesn’t that tell you something?”

No response.

“Look, I’m not saying she should’ve cheated on him – again,” he can’t resist adding, which has Aaron pinching his hand warningly. “But surely them splitting up is better in the long run, rather than staying together when they just make each other miserable? Which would probably make Eve miserable when she got old enough to notice?”

“Yeah… ” Aaron sighed. “Suppose you’re right.”

“Wow, can I get that in writing?”

Aaron huffs a laugh and shoves Robert’s hand away. “You can piss off.”

“Okay, you want me to make us a brew while I do that?”

“Please.”

Robert presses a kiss to Aaron’s forehead and goes to fill the kettle. As he pulls out the mugs and drops a couple of tea bags in them, he notices Aaron checking his phone.

“Okay?”

“Yeah, just… maybe I should track Paddy down, check he’s alright.”

“He’s probably gone to Marlon’s or somethin’.”

Aaron just hums in response.

“He’ll be okay, y’know,” Robert smiles reassuringly as he returns to the table and sets Aaron’s mug in front of him, giving him another kiss just because he can. “Yeah, it’ll hurt for a while, but he’ll come out the other end. It’s not like he hasn’t been through it before. From both sides, I might add.”

“Alright,” Aaron shakes his head in exasperation. “You got all your digs in now?”

Robert hums thoughtfully and takes a slow sip of his brew. “Give me a minute, another one might come to me.”

He grins when Aaron chuckles despite himself. They sit in silence for a few moments, drinking their teas, when Aaron eventually speaks quietly.

“I’m so glad that we’re not like… ”

“Your mum and Paddy?”

“I was going to say those couples you mentioned. The ones who couldn’t make it through this year.”

“Oh.” Robert has to agree, he can’t imagine ever getting sick of spending time with his husband. “Me too. I loved having you to myself.”

Aaron’s eyes turn soft. “Yeah, it wasn’t bad, was it?”

“Guess we’re just superior.”

“Guess so.”

“Although if I’d had to watch you play Call of Duty in your pants for one more hour, that might’ve been the breaking point, so it’s probably a good thing lockdown ended when it did.”

“Oh I’m sorry, d’you wanna talk about the mess you made in the kitchen every other day? Trying out another recipe for somethin’ we’d literally never eat.”

“Now hang on a sec – ”

“’Cause I think the garlic sourdough incident might count as grounds for divorce.”

“Whatever,” Robert huffs, before raising an eyebrow. “I made that up to you, didn’t I?”

Aaron pauses, before grinning sheepishly when the memory of how that night had ended comes back to him.

“Fair enough,” he leans forwards in his chair and smirks at Robert. “I suppose we did alright on that front.”

A wave of sudden desire washes over Robert, memories of exactly how they’d passed most of their blissfully uninterrupted time during those months hitting him vividly.

“I’d say we managed, yeah,” his voice drops an octave, gaze drifting down to Aaron’s mouth. “So you fancy… reliving some of lockdown now? Upstairs?”

“You read my mind.”

The unfinished mugs of tea sit abandoned on the table.

#catch me ignoring canon completely :)#aaron and robert are superior in every way #and they know it #my writing #robron #anti-chaddy

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mo2k · 2 years

Note

YES! Bring Mitsuya too! He would totally be down for it coz.... (maybe I shouldn't say 🤫 it's kind of a spoiler?) Maybe I could get him to make me a dress while he's here 🥺 Girl, if Baji tries to beat you up I'll beat him up 😤 I've got fighting experience coz of my brother so I can hold my ground! Now bring him along coz I lowkey wanna braid his hair 🙂

Face masks have never been my favourite thing to do... but just once.. for you! I feel like Draken would be good with nails too 👀

I can just imagine the confusion on your dad's face 🤣 anyway the first ep really hits you hard! The reason why me and my friend decided to watch AOT is kinda funny 😅 but anyway she watched ep 1 first and told me that it was super sad and gruesome and I was like that sound fun and we both enjoyed it 😅 You should continue but don't push yourself! Ooh the 104th cadets are just Eren,Mikasa, Armin, Jean, Sasha and the rest of the gang and the veterans are Levi, Erwin, Hanji, Mike and the rest! You'll meet them soon

He started watching anime recently tho... I have no idea why (this is my thing!) He mostly calls me out when I simp over chataracters... He watched Haikyuu a few days ago and made it extra clear that he DOES NOT like Oikawa 😐

I feel better now! Actually I didn't feel anything after the vaccine at all 😅 just my legs hurting from running around and standing in line all day But I'm ok now!

Oh sure thing but wdym spoilers — AmAnDa YeR rEaDiNg ThE MaNgAs ArEn’T yEr ? 🧐 Awwww yes yes he will. If he doesn’t I’ll make him do it (‘cause i’m cool yea yea yea pls just ignore me — 😏🙄😅😂) Thank you ! 🥺💖 That’s very kind of yer but no, I don’t want yer to get hurt. I can take on him myself ig 🤡🤡🤡 Babe r u alright ?? I quite understand u tho, i fight with my sis a lot nah almost every day, although it’s more about words than fists oops Alrightyyy Baji-san ! Come over and let amanda braid your hair rn !! 😁 Can I put some bows or maybe some cute hair clips on his hair too ? 🥺🥺🥺 Oh I’m pretty sure yer ain’t goin’ anywhere soon baji-san —

Lol it’s okay luv ! Face masks aren’t everyone thing, not exactly mine either, but it’s good to try smth different <3 See ?? Everyone thinks you’re amazing, draken. Be more proud of yourself ! (And also your marvellous works —)

Ahahahaha well maybe at first, but he immediately understand what’s goin’ on with me the second I pointed to the screen. Ig it really did hit me hard lmao 🤣 Omg wow yeah you like sad anime — I remember yer once told me yer do — so maybe that’s why you say that ? 😂 And oh you like action anime too, tis one’s kinda your type isn’t it ? But yeah I’m glad yer and yer friend enjoyed !! It’s alright dear ! Tyvm ! For me I personally think aot is v. safe tho, like — they don’t really focus too much on scenes where titan gobbled up ppl, and yea that makes it much less scary than I thought it would be. I like that.

Oh oh oh — I see I see — I already meet almost all of ‘em !! Yes I met captain Levi already omgggg — he’s captain ?! 😱😱😱 Plus he’s super cool like he just came for some mins, nah maybe even secs but he already start slashing and killing titans ?! That’s very amazing !! He really impressed me a lot, I’m stunned, really. Yes I admit, I admit right away that’s such an excellent character. *claps claps* So tis da man who’s half of yer heart ? Good taste yer got there 😏✨

Also also — there’s tis scene where it shocks me very much, um prob the one that eren got gobbled by the titan… my jaw hurts bc it was dropped too much but I just can’t help it ‘cause wattttt ?? He’s a main charac isn’t he ?? Then he’s gunna be dead like that ?? No ThAt’S iMpOsSiBlE — but then I found out that he’s a titan but it didn’t shock me that much ‘cause I kinda have guess before that he’s the titan, it still shock me a bit tho… wait what am i even saying rn ??? 💀💀💀

And mikasa’s past !! Super sad… I felt like my heart sank as I watch, damn tis series really hits me hard in… literally everything oh mah gosh —

… Dang it. Tell me when he simps over anime charac too, that’s da time for yer revenge. Calls him out, annoyed him to the death of the world bae. That’s what I’ll do too if I were you, too bad my sissy already simp for anime charac before I even start watching one… ugh —

Hm what ? Why ? WhY ???? Oikawa here — tis baby here is such a good charac… but oh well yea maybe Oikawa’s not really his type nvm — Dw bae maybe he just not like him but we do and that’s what really matter ♡︎

Ah glad to hear that love ! And oh yeah me too ! I didn’t feel anything except the pain in my upper arm, but I still didn’t catch a cold or anything, HELP my mum says that I’m super-tough like a buffalo omlllll 😭😭😭😭 She’s so CRUEL ! Oh I can understand that hehe, but I’m still glad to hear that you’re okay now <3 BUT YER STILL NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YERSELF OR ELSE IMMA CALL SHINICHIRO-SAN ☹️☹️☹️ I’M SUPER-SERIOUS HERE SO DON’T CHA DARE !!!

- With love, BamBam 🦢🌙

#from ; amanda #sorry for such lengthy answer bae —#i kinda got carried away…#oh dear —#bambam answer ♥︎

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igirisuhito · 4 years

Text

Title: Bara Boy Relationship(s): Komaeda Nagito/Hinata Hajime Rating: Explicit Summary: Hinata Hajime had always known he was trans. It wasn’t a big deal, it was just how things were. He passed well as a boy, and had gotten by just fine in highschool without people finding out his secret. That is, until Komaeda draws it out of him. Trigger Warnings: Referenced rape/non-con, Referenced underage sex, Referenced homophobia, Piss jokes, Choking, Dubious consent, Transphobia, Komaeda not knowing what “boundaries” are Disclaimer: This is... old. You may disagree with my interpretation of the characters and how I wrote them to be. That is not my problem. The trans experience is uniquely felt and interpreted by each individual, there is no “correct” way to write it.

[Ao3 Link]

────── 〔✿〕──────

“You’re not going to join in, Hinata-kun?”

A gentle voice awoke me from my daydream. A pale figure stood over me, milky chest exposed and white hair damp and flat compared to its usual fluffiness.

The boy looked like a drowned rat.

A swallowed the thought and gave a weak smile. “Sorry, I’m not a big fan of swimming.”

It was honestly my worst nightmare. Being dropped onto a tropical island with a whole class of other teenagers. Hot days of sweat and exhaustion followed by warm nights of sticky skin and restlessness.

And the only relief we were provided was the water and the cool hum of the dining room AC.

Everybody else seemed pleased about the whole thing. Most students went swimming every day. The days they didn’t go swimming they met up in the dining room or hung out on the other islands.

Komaeda knelt down into the sand in beside me, grains of sand sticking to his damp legs. There was plenty of room on the towel, but he didn’t seem to mind.

“Are you insecure about your body, Hinata?”

I stared at the boy with wide eyes, shocked by such a brazen question. “U-um...”

I barely got a stutter out before Komaeda started speaking again. “Ah! That’s incredibly presumptuous of me! How could an amazing Ultimate like you ever be insecure! Leave that kind of thing to untalented people like me, Hinata-kun.”

Komaeda grinned a sickly grin. I hated how he managed to read me so well and then dismiss himself of being rude or ridiculous. Was he mocking me?

I sighed and shook my head. “I don’t like swimming, that’s all.”

“That’s understandable!” The Ultimate Luck chirped. “The sea is a very dangerous place, all sorts of unlucky things could happen to you! You may get swept out to sea, or stung by a jellyfish, or impaled on rocks, or-“

“I get the point.”

Komaeda began to wiggle his legs, worming his feet into the sand. “So you’re scared of the sea?”

“No...I just don’t like swimming.”

“So you don’t know how to swim?”

“Of course I know how to swim!”

“Are you worried what others will think of you then?”

“I guess...”

“So you’re insecure!”

“I’m not insecure!”

This was getting frustrating fast. Then again, every conversation with Komaeda was frustrating. The way he pried and picked me apart to find the truth made not only me, but everybody else really angry. It was hard to discern whether it was simple curiosity or an active effort to get people to dislike him.

“I guess you’re not insecure then.” Komaeda's attention was focused on shuffling his feet as far as he could into the sand.

Oh thank god he had given up.

“So is it the way you act that worries you or is it the way you look?”

Oh god fucking dammit.

“Do we have to have this conversation?” I muttered, pulling my knees up to my chest with a sigh.

“Not at all! I’m happy to talk about whatever interests you, Hinata-kun!” The other boy smiled wide as he turned his head back to me. His grey eyes really sparkled in the sunlight.

“We could talk about you?” I tried to sound as non-offending as possible.

Komaeda cackled at my suggestion. “You don’t want to know about trash like me!”

And so the conversation ended. There we were, skin burning beneath the hot sun in silence. I could feel the drops of sweat rolling down my back uncomfortably.

“You know, my parents probably drowned to death after their plane crashed.” Komaeda broke the silence unexpectedly.

His face was expressionless despite his heavy words. We’d talked about his parents deaths before but it seemed as though he had moved past it. It was an obvious ploy to get me to change the subject back to myself.

“Okay, fine.” I huffed as I leaned my hands into the towel. “I am uncomfortable with exposing my body to the others.”

The Ultimate Luck’s face lit up in a smirk, clearly proud of the fact he had cracked me wide open. His expression quickly morphed into one of ponder.

“Why would you be uncomfortable? There are plenty more less attractive bodies on display, such as mine!”

I sighed and stretched my legs back out. “It’s not quite like that.”

“How else could it be? Are you ashamed of your buff chest? You know Nidai has much more impressive muscles.” Komaeda kept his pleasant smile even with the not-so-subtle dig.

“Buff chest?”

Komaeda nodded and glanced down. “You have a really well built chest, like straight out of a bara manga.”

He lifted a sandy hand and pressed it to my chest before I could even say anything. My breath caught in my throat as he pressed skinny fingers into the soft tissue beneath my shirt and binder.

“Huh. I did not expect your pecs to be so...squishy.” Komaeda tilted his head to the side as he cupped a breast in his hand and squeezed.

My face flushed with an unbearable heat. Was he an idiot? Was he a pervert? Was he making fun of me?

I grabbed the boy’s wrist, avoiding his eyes. “I-I’m transgender...”

I felt Komaeda’s body stiffen and he pulled his wrist out of my grasp. “Oh.”

‘Oh.’ One word absolutely killed me on the spot. That’s the response everybody made upon learning. Followed with awkward apologies and people slowly distancing themselves.

I could feel my throat closing up, I was on the verge of tears. I didn’t want to cry in front of Komaeda. Nothing could be more embarrassing.

“I’m so stupid for not picking up on the signs earlier! Oh my! I’m so very sorry Hinata-kun!” Komaeda put his hands on the sides of my face and pulled my gaze back to him.

Huh?

My cheeks squished against Komaeda’s sandy palms. “I’ll try to make this less embarrassing for you! Let’s see...Oh I know! I’m gay!”

“You don’t have to lie about being queer to make me more comfortable.” I tried to speak as well as I could without having my words mushed too much.

“But I am! I have been since I was little! I remember getting beaten up one day for holding another boy’s hand! It must have been bad luck to counteract the good luck of getting to spend time with another man...” Komaeda was beginning to ramble about his luck again.

“Okay okay, I believe you. Please remove your hands from my face.”

The other let go with a weak smile. It was sweet of Komaeda to try and make me feel comfortable by coming out as well. Honestly it didn’t surprise me whatsoever that he was gay. He had taken Tsumuki’s crotch to the face more than once without reaction.

“So you can’t swim because you wear a binder?” Komaeda queried as he shuffled himself onto the towel.

“Yes...I mean I could swim without one but...” I trailed off, a bit uncomfortable with explaining to Komaeda why I didn’t want people seeing my boobs.

“But you could just wade, right?”

I found myself caught off-guard by his suggestion. “Uh, yeah I could.”

The Ultimate stood up off the towel and extended an arm down to me. “Then come on.”

I blinked a couple of times before accepting his hand, being pulled up by Komaeda. He gave me an enthusiastic smile before looking down at my feet.

“Are you able to roll up your jeans?”

“Yeah, gimme a sec."

I bent down and rolled the cuffs of my jeans up to my knees. It felt a lot cooler like this, I don’t know what possessed me to think wearing jeans to the beach was a good idea.

Komaeda grabbed my wrist once again and began leading me down to the water. I heard a couple of giggles from Saionji, but I couldn’t care less.

“Are you sure you’re not gonna melt, witch?!” Her shrill voice called out from the water.

Komaeda laughed an insincere laugh, probably just to amuse her. It was easier to just go along with whatever the girl said to avoid making her cry.

The cold water lapped at my toes, causing me to pull back against the boy’s grip a bit. It was colder than I expected.

“Is it too cold for you, Hinata-kun?” Komaeda stopped in his tracks and glanced back at me.

“No, just surprising.” I mumbled as I stepped a bit further into the water.

Nope nope nope nope it’s really fucking cold.

The boy smiled and waded in until the water was 3 quarters of the way up to his knees. I followed closely after him, skimming my fingers through the chilly water as I began to get used to it.

It was a lot better than the temperature out of it, at least.

“How is it?” Komaeda watched the surface of the water break beneath my fingers.

I exhaled softly. “Nice.”

“I’m glad you decided to join in, Hinata-kun. You always look so sad sitting on the shore by yourself.” Komaeda’s voice was soft as he spoke, but held a serious tone.

“I don’t mind, you know.” I met his gaze with a smile.

“But your hope should be able to shine along with everybody else’s!” The Ultimate grabbed my hand from the water and held it between his own. He pulled my hand up to chest height as his eyes sparkled.

A sigh escaped my lips. “I just don’t think-“

The sound of rushing water filled my ears as I was knocked down into the ocean floor. Sand ground against my face as I gasped in shock, my lungs filling with water. I tried to push myself up, only to be held down by the strong current.

Oh god oh god I was going to drown.

What felt like an eternity passed before a hand roughly grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me up out of the water.

I coughed and spluttered as I sat on my knees in the water, salt water stinging my eyes. The hand on my back rubbed soothingly.

“Ah, such rotten luck. I’m so sorry to get you caught up in this Hinata-kun.”

I recognised the voice as Komaeda's, but was too busy trying to breathe normally to pay him any mind.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I sat back up on my ankles and looked at the boy on his haunches beside me.

“I...I think so.”

Komaeda stared at his hand resting on my back for a second. “Sunflowers, huh?”

I realised he was referring to the pattern on my binder and my face began to feel like it was alight. “Shit. I can’t go back to the beach like this.”

Komaeda laughed softly and straightened himself up. “Wait here, I’ll get my jacket.”

He began to walk back to shore, leaving me cold and breathless in the water. Water covered my knees and went up to my waist, soaking the bottom of my tie.

How humiliating. Not only did I have to be saved by Komaeda from drowning, but now he had to save me from embarrassment too.

I should have stayed on the shore.

I mean, I’m not ashamed of being trans. I know it’s a part of me and I’ve accepted that...it’s just...other people.

Their reactions were always odd. I could meet the most accepting person on earth but it still was weird. Even the most accepting of dudes wouldn’t invite me to a sleepover. Even the most accepting of girls treated me like a gay best friend.

It was exhausting. It made me feel like I didn’t belong no matter how hard I tried.

And now Komaeda, the weirdest person I had ever met, knew my secret.

“Hinata-kun.”

A voice broke me from my thoughts a I looked up to the boy towering over me. He held his green jacket by the shoulders, open and waiting for me.

I stood up and slipped my arms in, muttering a “thanks” as I zipped it closed.

Komaeda simply smiled. “Should we pack up and head back to your cabin?”

With a slight nod, we began to walk together back to the shore. The water swished around our feet, damp sand sunk, dry sand squeaked.

Komaeda shook out the towel we’d been sitting on as I packed up our bags. I picked up my backpack in one hand and Komaeda’s duffel bag in the other.

“Do you want a hand carrying them?” The boy inquired as he folded the towel over his shoulder.

“No, I’m okay thanks.” My voice was a bit strained as I began to walk back to my cabin, Komaeda following close behind.

We walked in silence all the way up to the boardwalk before he spoke again.

“I’m sorry you got swept away because of my awful luck. I shouldn’t have ever thought you would be safe around somebody as dangerous as me.”

I sighed loudly. His self deprecation could be so incredibly exhausting at times like this. “It’s okay Komaeda.”

He didn’t seem convinced but kept quiet anyway. I zipped open the front pocket of my backpack and pulled out my key. Once we were standing outside my door, I pushed it into the lock and twisted until I heard a click then pushed the door open.

Komaeda followed me inside as I walked in and dumped the bags on the floor. I threw myself down onto my bed with a groan of exhaustion.

“Hinata-kun, do you mind if I use your shower? The salt water is awful for my hair.” The boy stroked a few fingers through damp white locks.

“I think it’s more fatal for your hair.” I giggled, not entirely processing what he said.

Wait.

“You want to shower? In my cabin?!”

“Ah! It’s okay if you would prefer me to not, I can understand why you wouldn’t want somebody disgusting like me in your bathroom. I’ll just use the shower in my room.” Komaeda made his usual fake smile before picking up his duffel bag from the floor.

I sat up quickly and put my hands out to stop him. “No no no! I mean...do you really want to shower in my cabin? With me here?”

Komaeda looked somewhat puzzled. “Why wouldn’t I? Oh! Do you have plans to murder me? Feel free to do as you like Hinata-kun! It would be an honour to be murdered by you!”

His sick sense of humour made me roll my eyes. “It’s nothing, go ahead.”

Komaeda opened his mouth to say something before quickly closing it again and taking his duffel bag with him into the bathroom. The door shut with a click behind him.

I laid myself back down again, wrapping my arms around myself. Komaeda’s jacket is so comfy, I couldn’t help but snuggle up a bit.

It smelled of salt and Komaeda.

Oh no, I’m being weird.

I unzipped the jacket and slipped my arms out of it. I was folding it up just as I heard the sound of running water. It was weird how casual and carefree the boy could be sometimes…

Not that it was a bad thing.

I set the jacket down on the bed before threading my fingers into my tie. I pulled off the damp fabric and began to undo the buttons of my shirt.

Hmm, maybe it was best if I had a shower before I changed.

I left my buttons a few undone from the collar down. I unrolled my jeans, sand falling out from the fabric and onto the wooden floor. What a pain.

Komaeda had left my towel on the floor next to my backpack. I was going to have to wash it later along with the rest of my sandy clothes. My eyes wandered up to the clock on the wall.

2:48

It wasn’t nearly as late as it felt.

The sound of running water stopped. He must be done with his shower. I wandered over to my cupboard and pulled out a pair of navy blue boxers with white flowers, a pair of grey shorts, and a plain white t-shirt.

“Excuse me Hinata-kun...”

I heard the bathroom door creak open slightly and Komaeda’s voice spoke meekly.

Oh god, had I left something weird in the bathroom?

“What’s up?”

“I didn’t bring any clean clothes.”

Seriously? The nerve of this guy…

“Would you mind going to my cabin and getting me some? I’m sure there’s a pile on the bed of clothes I forgot to put in my bag this morning.”

I groaned and walked up to the bathroom door, looking away and putting my arm through the gap. “Just wear some of mine. We’re about the same size anyway.”

“Hinata-kun! Your generosity never fails to astound me! You truly are the embodiment of hope itself!” Komaeda chirped as he took the clothes from my hand.

I pulled my arm back in and closed the door with a huff, did that boy do anything right?

I went back to my cupboard and pulled out more clothes for myself. A pair of white boxers with pink flowers, a pair of green shorts and a grey t-shirt with a yellow star printed with the word ‘hope’ in all lowercase comic sans.

Where on earth does Usami get this stuff...?

I added it to my pile begrudgingly as the bathroom door opened, a half dried Komaeda stepping out in the clothes I had given him.

It felt kinda weird to see him wearing my clothes.

“Thank you, Hinata-kun. I don’t know what I would have done without you.” Komaeda grinned as he patted his hair dry with a white towel.

“You didn’t really leave me with many options. The option to do nothing and let you run naked back to your own cabin would have given me a reputation.” I huffed as I looked to the floor.

“Hmm, that’s a fair point. Well, I am going back to my room now. Thanks for letting me use your shower.” Komaeda smiled and waved a hand in the air before swinging his bag over his shoulder.

I waved back and headed into the bathroom where he had been moments ago, pile of clothes in hand. I shut the door behind me and dropped them to the floor.

I don’t really know what I expected, but the bathroom was just as I had left it. Though, all the bottles in the shower had been stood back up and placed on the rack.

Petty…

I unbuttoned the rest of my shirt and slid it off my shoulders. I unclipped the side of my binder and basically peeled it off my skin. Gross.

I undid my jeans and pulled them down over my legs with difficulty. Being so damp had melded all of my clothes to my skin. I slid my boxers down and off my ankles before stepping into the shower and turning it on.

Warm water hit my chest, coaxing a moan from my lungs. Clean water was so nice after being in the ocean.

I rinsed my hair and picked up my bottle of shampoo, squeezing a bit into my hands and rubbing it into my hair. I placed the bottle back on the shelf, where Komaeda had left it.

He made me feel somewhat ashamed of my untidiness.

I lathered up my hair thoroughly before rinsing it again. I picked up the bottle of ‘tropical paradise shower gel’ and squeezed a bit onto my hand. I lathered it up a bit between my hands before beginning to rub the mango scented soap into my skin.

Thinking about it now, Komaeda had reacted very differently to the whole trans thing.

Sure, he was upset he hadn’t realised. But like, he didn’t seem uncomfortable by it. Most people make it seem like I had been tricking or lying to them.

And then he had gotten me his jacket to hide my binder?

And showered in my cabin without a hint of worry?

And was now walking around in my underwear and clothes...

That’s weird! This isn’t normally the way people treat me! People are usually grossed out and confused!

I rinsed the soap from my skin with a sigh. Komaeda Nagito is a weird, weird guy.

I turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, reaching for a towel before wrapping it around myself.

What if he told the other Ultimates? Would he do that? Surely not...he was crazy but at least he had common decency, right?

I patted myself dry and shook the water out of my hair. I should probably ask him not to tell people just in case…

I pulled on my boxers and shorts before slipping my arms into the stupid shirt and wiggling it over my head.

Hanging up my towel, I turned off the bathroom light and headed back into my room. I wandered over to the bed and flopped down.

Man, almost drowning really takes it out of you...

I closed my eyes for just a second.

A second…

Knock knock

Godammit.

I pulled my legs over the side of the bed with a groan and walked towards the door. I opened it to see a gleaming face staring back at me.

“Hinata-kun! You weren’t sleeping were you?” Komaeda chirped.

“No, it’s alright.” I smiled at him, feeling less tired than before.

“Ah, that’s good. I like your shirt, may I come in?”

I nodded and stepped aside, allowing the fluffy haired boy into my room. I shut the door behind as he sat himself on my bed.

“I got something for you...to apologise.” Komaeda smiled as I noticed he had a medium sized parcel in his hands.

I pressed my fingers to my forehead in frustration. “Komaeda, you don’t have to apologise for anything. Plus I saw you like ten minutes ago, what on earth could you have gotten?”

“Ten minutes?” The boy spoke in a confused voice. “I left here nearly 4 hours ago.”

I glanced around at the clock.

7:43

“Huh. Maybe I did have a nap.” I mumbled before sitting down beside Komaeda.

“So you haven’t eaten? Do you want me to ask Hanamura to make you something?” His voice was concerned yet caring.

I shook my head. “I ate way too much at lunch.”

Komaeda nodded in response. “Okay. Well, take this.”

He shoved the parcel into my hands and gripped his knees tightly. “I’m sorry if this comes off as me overstepping my boundaries. But I want to see you be the brightest hope you can be...”

That sentence made me even more worried than I was before. The parcel was more of a gift box, fit with even a little blue ribbon on the top. It was awfully cute.

I pulled the lid off the box and set it down beside me. Inside the box was black fabric, a garment?

With careful hands, I lifted it out of the box and let it unfold. It looked a bit like a tank top, the kind of one that sporty guys wore.

“It’s a swimming binder. It looks kind of like a compression tank top and is tight enough to give you a flat chest but loose enough to let you swim...at least that’s what Usami said.” Komaeda squeezed his thighs together as he spoke, averting his eyes away.

A binder...I can swim in?

“Komaeda...” I breathed.

“You’re offended and disgusted, I knew it. Scum like me should never have stepped out of place like this.”

“This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me...”

I threw my arms around the skinny boy, grinning impossibly wide as I squeezed him tightly as I could. “Thank you so much Komaeda.”

Komaeda wrapped his arms around my torso and hugged me back with a slight blush on his cheeks. “I-It’s the least someone like me could do...”

I let up my embrace to instead grip the boy’s shoulders. “Wanna go for a swim?”

“Isn’t it going to be dark soon?” Komaeda refuted.

“We could go to the pool?” I suggested, letting go of the boy and picking up the binder again.

“Huh. That sounds good.” He smiled softly, genuinely.

Komaeda looked so nice like this. The sunlight coming through my window hit his face in all the right spots. His white hair draped over his forehead. He really was an attractive guy.

But I didn’t have time to stare, I wanted to go swimming.

I stood up from the bed and stepped over to my cupboard. I pulled out a pair of plain black board shorts.

Komaeda stood up and wandered towards the door. “Shall I meet you there?”

“Yup!” I called out as I shut the cupboard, shorts in hand.

The boy left before I could even give him a glance. As soon as I heard the door shut behind him I buried my face in the black fabric. I shouldn’t be so surprised, I’ve given Komaeda a few gifts before that I’d collected. I just...never expected anything back. Especially not something like this. A gift so...considerate.

Komaeda is the exact opposite of considerate. Especially not of people’s feelings.

But he had been so incredibly considerate today. Was he finally starting to settle into the realisation that we weren’t going to die here?

God I never know what that guy is thinking.

I pulled off my shirt and wiggled the binder over my head. It was a bit hard to get on since it was a pullover rather than the hooked side ones I usually wear.

I pulled the bunched up fabric down over my belly. Man you really couldn’t tell. Usami had done a great job with this.

I pulled off my shorts and swapped them out for the board shorts.

I was finally going to be able to fit in.

I was finally going to be able to cool off with everyone else.

I was finally going to not be bullied by Saionji!

Actually, no that probably wasn’t going to stop.

I left my cabin, not bothering to lock the door behind me as I made my way to the pool. I was absolutely brimming with confidence and excitement.

Since the pool wasn’t far away, it barely took me more than a minute to get there. Komaeda was already waiting, sitting on the pool's edge and dangling his legs into the water.

“Hinata-kun! You look good.” The boy smiled after eyeing me up and down.

I scratched the back of my neck, a bit embarrassed to be receiving a genuine compliment from Komaeda, instead of the usual self-deprecating ones he made.

“Thanks, I guess?” I sat myself down beside him and let my legs hang down into the water. Unlike the sea, the pool was heated and pleasant.

The sun was going down over the island and the sky was awash with a beautiful shade of gold. The water reflected the sky, creating a pool of yellow.

“I think I should be admiring the sky right now, but all I can think about is the fact the pool looks like it’s full of piss.”

I snapped my head to my left, unable to believe what I just heard. Did Komaeda just...make a dirty joke?

“I was just thinking the same thing...” I smiled at the other teen as he swished his pale legs in the water.

“If that is the case...first one in the pool is the piss boy.” Komaeda grinned an evil smile as I felt him shove me hard in the back.

Oh it is on.

I pulled my legs out of the water and jumped up to my feet almost simultaneously with Komaeda. I charged at his waist, hoping to knock the boy down. The boy dodged my attack, leaving me running past him.

“Be careful Hinata, you wouldn’t want to get hurt!” Komaeda called as I turned back in his direction.

“If I do it’ll be your fault!” I called back as I dashed at him once again.

Komaeda went to dodge but I expected it this time. I wrapped my arms tightly around his waist and lifted him into the air, slinging the boy over my shoulder. He screamed and banged his fists against my back.

“Help!! Hinata-kun is trying to murder me!!” He squealed like a little kid.

“Shut up piss boy.” I chuckled to myself as I got ready to throw him into the deep end.

Just as I began to swing Komaeda forward, he stop banging his fists and instead wrapped his arms tightly around my waist.

Huh?

The velocity of me swinging his legs forward threw me off balance and I stumbled forward. I tried to recover but my foot slipped on the edge of the pool and I fell in headfirst with the skinny boy still clinging to my waist.

SPLASH

The arms around my waist released as I swam up to the surface to get a breath. As soon as I felt the cool air on my face I took a deep breath and broke out in laughter.

Komaeda surfaced up right beside me with a big grin on his face. “Piss boy.”

“What? I threw you in!”

“You’re the one who hit the water first through.”

“Only because I probably would have died if I didn’t!”

“Could you guys please shut the fuck up!”

Komaeda and I turned in the direction of the cabins, following the voice that had just interrupted us.

Owari stood on the boardwalk in a wide stance. “Some of us are trying to train!”

“I’m very sorry Owari-san!” Komaeda called out.

“Ya better be!” The Ultimate Gymnast yelled back as she began to walk back to her cabin.

Komaeda cupped a hand over his mouth in shock and turned back to me. “I can’t believe you got us in trouble Hinata-kun!”

“Me?! You’re the one who was screaming!” I hissed.

The boy removed his hand to reveal a childish grin. He was clearly just fucking with me at this point.

“I’ll kill you one of these days.” I muttered as I swam over to the edge of the pool.

“It would be an honour.” Komaeda jeered back as he followed me close behind.

I rested my shoulders against the edge of the pool. The other boy simply settled to tread water in front of me.

“Tell me Hinata, what are you into?”

“What am I into? Well I like kusamochi... and manga?”

“Not like that. What are you in to? Who are you in to?”

Huh? What a weird question for him to pop right now.

“Oh, right... I’m not really sure. I don’t have any experience to go on. ”

“You don’t have any experience? Have you never dated anyone?”

“Oh you’re talking about dating...I’ve dated a girl before.”

“Really? I could totally see you going for a busty girl like Owari.”

“Owari’s kind of odd...sure she has amazing tits but her world is so different from mine.”

“I see. So you are into women?”

“Sure, I guess so.”

“Are you into men as well?”

I pressed my fist to my chin in thought, was I into men? I never really gave my sexuality much thought.

“I’m not really into like...manly men...no wait scratch that...I think I might be into dudes...” I mumbled.

“So you’re bi then?” Komaeda questioned.

‘I honestly think I’m just horny.’ Is the answer I wanted to give, but I don’t know if I’m close enough with Komaeda to talk about sexual habits.

So I settled for a simple “Yeah.”

“Good.” The other smiled.

Good?

I finally noticed that the sun had set long ago and it was really starting to get dark.

“Should we head back? I think I’ve thoroughly tested the binder at this point.

Komaeda nodded and pulled himself up out of the water, resting on the tiling surrounding the pool’s edge. I followed suit and clambered to my feet.

“Say, Hinata-kun...” The boy’s voice was quiet.

Komaeda was staring up at the night sky, I followed his eyes and looked as well.

“Hm?”

“Do you ever get the feeling that this isn’t real?”

I looked back to him. Pool water sparkled at the corner of his eyes, maybe they were tears?

“Way too often.” I whispered.

I offered a hand to Komaeda, which he accepted. He rose to his feet but didn’t let go of my hand.

Huh. This is weird.

“I just cannot believe that all the pain and suffering I’ve been through suddenly ended once I started going to Hope’s Peak. There’s absolutely no way.” The boy mumbled as he stared up at the night sky.

I squeezed his hand reassuringly and sighed. “I can’t believe I’m going to Hope’s Peak. I obviously didn’t win the lottery and no matter what I try I can’t find any semblance of a talent in me.”

“I bet your talent is something amazing, Hinata-kun. No, I’m sure of it.” Komaeda pulled his head back to smile at me.

His words made my chest fill with butterflies. It felt like nobody had ever had faith in me like this before.

“Maybe you finally hit a lucky streak?” I attempted to reassure him as best I could.

“You’re sweet, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda placed a bony hand on my cheek. “But it really doesn’t work like that.”

I could feel his warm breath on my lips. Oh my god he is way too close.

“Want to do the teenage thing and fuck about it?”

“What?” Komaeda's grey eyes widened in shock.

Oh my god that was out loud I actually said that Jesus Christ this is meant to be a solemn moment and I just nuked it with my stupid hormones.

“I-I didn’t mean to say that...I am so so-“ I was promptly cut off by Komaeda planting his lips on mine.

Huh?

What?

My mind began to race as the other boy stroked my cheek with his thumb. I really didn’t expect this...but I did not hate it whatsoever.

I brought my hand up to the back of Komaeda’s head and kissed him back. His lips were so soft, I felt a bit embarrassed about how chapped and dry my own were. The other boy didn’t seem to care though as he sucked at them excitedly.

The kiss was broken when I moaned into his mouth. Komaeda pulled away with a deep blush and stared into my eyes.

“Your cabin or mine?” He breathed

“Yours, there’s sand all over my bed.”

The boy nodded and grabbed my wrist, beginning to drag me along behind him. I followed in close pursuit, my brain screaming at me to stop before I ruined a good thing. Komaeda had put his faith in me and opened up about his feelings so I was going to take advantage of that and fuck him?

We stepped into Komaeda’s cabin together, he promptly shut and locked the door behind us. He stared at me for a few seconds, probably coming to the shock that we were actually going to do this.

“I-I’m so sorry. We don’t actually have to do this...” I rubbed my arm somewhat embarrassed.

“No, I want to. I just...I know absolutely nothing about how to make you feel good.” Komaeda mumbled.

“I don’t know anything about how to make you feel good either.” I forced an awkward smile.

“I guess it’s a first time for both of us then?” Komaeda reciprocated that smile.

This got uncomfortable real fast.

I sighed and dragged Komaeda over to his bed. He obediently sat down in anticipation.

“Lie on your back with your knees bent.” I ordered, a mix of frustration and excitement swirling in my gut.

The boy followed my orders. I sat myself at the end of his legs and wrapped my fingers under the waistband of his shorts.

God they really didn’t hide anything.

The tent Komaeda was pitching was bigger than I expected from him. I slowly pulled his shorts down off his ass.

The boy lifted his hips and straightened his legs in an attempt to help me wiggle his sticky shorts off. His dick sprung free and I managed to pull his shorts all the way off.

Oh my god he had a nice dick.

I must have been staring for a while because Komaeda piped up. “Is there something wrong with it?”

“No, the opposite actually.” I placed my hands on his knees and spread his legs.

Komaeda obeyed and I settled between them, wrapping my fingers carefully around his cock. His skin was cold from the pool but the blood pumping made his dick warm. I heard a quiet gasp escape his lips as I gently stroked down him.

“Hinata-kun, I can tell you’re trying not to hurt me but you’re barely touching it.” Komaeda stated bluntly.

I looked up at his face and felt my own flush red. The teen sat up and placed his own hand over mine, moving my hand to grip tighter and jerk a bit faster.

“Ooh...that’s good.” Komaeda moaned out, letting go of my hand and laying back down.

I felt like I was really starting to get the hang of it. Komaeda’s hips rolled up into my hands occasionally as he moaned in ecstasy.

I wanted to make him feel even better.

I pressed my lips to the tip of his dick, sucking at the precome leaking out of it.

“Ahh, you don’t have to do that.” Komaeda smiled down at me.

I ignored his words and pressed the head of his cock into my mouth. Komaeda’s hips shot up in an involuntary twitch, forcing his cock further into my mouth.

I nearly bit down in surprise, instead opting to steady his hips.

“Hinata-kun I’m so sorry...I’ve never been on the receiving end of something like this before.” Komaeda’s fingers gripped the sheets of his bed tightly as he panted.

I hummed softly in reassurance as I stroked at what I hadn’t fit in my mouth, slowly inching it in. The teen moaned with eyes squeezed shut.

Komaeda’s hips wiggled under my grip. “This feels so much better than I ever imagined it! Ah you really do spark hope in everyone around you!”

I hollowed out my cheeks and dragged my lips up and off his cock, leaving with a pop . “Better than you ever imagined?”

The boy looked down to me and nodded. “I’ve fantasised about this since the day you asked me to hang out with you.”

My cheeks filled with heat immediately. “Seriously?”

“I must admit however after today the fantasy did change slightly.” Komaeda tapped a finger against his chin.

My heart sunk a bit. “In a bad way?”

“No not really. You’d be amazed how little my plans changed.” The boy smiled as he sat himself up slightly.

Plans? Oh god if I pressed any further this would never end. I pressed the Komaeda's cock back into my mouth and squeezed his balls slightly, eliciting a gasp from his mouth.

His hand stroked into my hair, finally a sign I was doing the right thing. Komaeda pushed my head down slightly, encouraging me to take more in.

I swallowed around him, the taste of salty precome and chlorine ever present in my mouth. Komaeda moaned loudly and pushed down even harder on my head.

Too far!!!

I gagged as his dick hit the back of my throat. Komaeda just moaned louder and pulled my head up slightly. His fingers were pulling at my hair at this point, it hurt like a bitch.

But I can't deny that I was really enjoying the rough handling.

I could feel my thighs starting to get sticky with warmth. I was so turned on as the boy shoved my head back onto his dick again. This time I didn’t gag, but did choke as he blocked my airway.

“You don’t seem to be very good at this, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda’s tone had changed. It was deeper than before, dripping with lust.

I slid my tongue across the underside of his cock, making the boy gasp and moan.

“Faster.”

I pulled my head off his cock slightly before taking him back in in a bobbing motion. This seemed to really get him going as he released the tight grip on my hair.

I hollowed my cheeks and kept the movement up. Komaeda moaned over and over again as he bucked his hips up with my movements.

“Ah, Hinata-kun, I think I’m going to cum.”

I had totally accepted my fate that he was going to cum in my mouth. It wasn’t going to taste good, but it was going to make cleanup easier.

Komaeda gripped my hair tightly and pulled my head completely off his dick.

Or maybe not?

He took his cock in his hand and stroked quickly until hot cum splattered onto my face. I was so fucking shell-shocked as I watched him ride out his orgasm, moaning, panting,

and cumming on my face.

Once he had completely milked his dick of all he could he exhaled loudly and smiled wide. His fingers were still tight in my hair as he pulled my face up to kiss him.

He licked the cum off my lips and kissed sloppily. My mouth was so full of saliva I thought I was drowning.

The classic porn-star move really wasn’t that sexy.

This whole first time thing wasn’t all that sexy.

But maybe I’m just too in my own head.

I pressed my tongue into Komaeda’s mouth, licking the bitter cum off his own. He moaned into my mouth as I pushed him back down onto the bed.

It was suffocating and hot. Drool dripped down our chins as we refused to pull apart for anything. I needed this. He needed this.

Komaeda pressed his knee up into my crotch. I ground up against him with a high moan.

The other finally broke the kiss. “I should probably repay the favour.”

“Please.” I breathed hot air against his lips.

Komaeda grabbed me by the hips and switched our positions, placing him on top. Seeing the boy above me made me even more desperate.

“Komaeda...” I panted.

“Yes?”

“Do you mind if I clean up a bit before we do this?”

“Ah, of course.”

The skinny boy moved himself off me and laid down beside. I sat up and shuffled off the bed.

“You really shouldn’t cum on people’s faces.” I muttered as I picked up a shirt from the floor.

Komaeda looked somewhat disappointed. “But you look so handsome with cum on your face.”

I pouted and walked into the bathroom, half shutting the door behind myself. I picked up a hand towel and began to run it under the sink.

Whilst waiting for the towel to get completely wet, I glanced up into the mirror. White fluid sat on my forehead and had been streaked on my nose and cheeks, probably from out aggressive makeout. My hair was ruffled and sticking up every which-way.

I turned off the tap and wiped the hand towel on my face, ridding myself of any trace of Komaeda’s... god even thinking of a word for it was embarrassing.

I slipped the swim binder off over my head and switched it out for the T-shirt I had collected off Komaeda’s floor.

It was a pink T-shirt I had never seen him wearing before. On the front was a cartoon picture of a white rabbit.

Cute…

I removed my board-shorts and left my half-dry boxers on. It felt too brazen to walk out without them.

I stepped out of the bathroom to see the fluffy haired boy waiting patiently on the bed.

“Huh. Why is it you look so much hotter when you’re wearing my clothes?” Komaeda grinned a toothy smile as I laid down next to him.

“Y’know I wondered the same thing earlier today.” It wasn’t quite the same thing but it was a similar thought.

Komaeda stared into my eyes for a moment before nestling his head into my neck and sucking at the skin. I gasped at the sensation and moved closer.

The boy’s hand pulled my shirt up slightly and settled on my tummy. I couldn’t help but giggle at how foreign and sweet the sensation was.

Komaeda peppered kisses up my jaw until he was breathing hot air into my ear, making me shiver.

“I really like you, Hinata Hajime.”

An involuntary moan left my lips upon hearing my given name from him. The hand he had on my tummy had snaked up to my ribs.

“Is there anything you’re uncomfortable with?” Komaeda whispered as he drew circles on my skin. “I figure I should ask before I cum on your face or something.”

I giggled and placed my hand over his, moving it up slightly so that my breast was now resting in his hand. “Touch what you want. Don’t take the shirt off.”

Komaeda nodded and squeezed my boob, the sensation causing me to bury my face in his chest with a huff. The boy squeezed a nipple between two fingers, making me moan quietly.

“You really do have bara titties.” He smiled wide at his words.

“Shut uuuup!” I whined into his skin.

Komaeda let go and trailed his fingers down to my boxers. It was nerve-wracking and exciting all the while.

“You own a lot of underwear with flowers, Hinata-kun.” Komaeda mumbled as he slid his fingers beneath the elastic.

“I like flowers.” I mumbled, somewhat embarrassed.

“Should I mention I jerked off in the ones you gave me?”

“Hey those were my favourite pair!”

“I was just so grateful that Hinata-kun would give me a pair of his underwear.”

“Give? I want them back.”

“Even though I masturbated in them?”

“Yes!”

I puffed out my cheeks in a pout as I looked up at Komaeda. My train of thought was quickly interrupted by fingers pressing themselves against my wet folds.

“Oh my.” Komaeda’s voice was quiet.

That reaction alone was enough to send me spiralling in embarrassment. I planted my face in Komaeda’s shoulder as he let his fingers make their acquaintance with my nether regions.

“I’m going to take off your underwear, is that alright?”

“Yeah.” I squeaked out.

Komaeda sat up and shuffled himself down the bed to the ends of my legs. He hooked bony fingers around the elastic of my boxers and pulled them down and off my ankles.

I bent my knees and spread my legs. The boy gripped my thighs, squeezing them slightly.

“It is normal for your legs to be wet as well?” Komaeda ran his fingers through the juices on my thighs.

“I uh- if I’m really in the mood... I guess so yeah.” I stuttered out. “You’re really hot Nagito.”

The boy between my legs laughed and licked my left thigh. I yelped at the sudden sensation of a tongue so close to my vagina.

Two fingers rubbed carefully around my entrance, making me whine impatiently.

“Hinata-kun. Instead of making erotic noises could you tell me what you’d like me to do?” Komaeda’s voice stern, I felt like I was being scolded by a teacher.

“You can have a go at fingering me if you’d like?” It felt like my face was going to melt with this heat.

Komaeda didn’t hesitate to push two fingers in, coaxing a moan from my throat. He rubbed his fingers up against my walls with little grace.

“It’s so warm inside you...”

“The commentary isn’t necessary! Komaeda!”

The boy curled his fingers hard into one spot that make me moan loudly. My hips arched off the bed as I slid a hand down to massage my clit.

“Oh fuck do that that again please.” I moaned through gritted teeth.

“This?” Komaeda rubbed his fingers against the spot again, applying more pressure than before.

I squealed out as stars sparkled at the edge of my vision. “Oh my God Nagito please make me cum!”

With that sentence Komaeda instantly pulled out his fingers.

I whined in frustration as Komaeda placed his hand over the one that had been rubbing small circles into my clit.

“This feels good too, doesn’t it?” He inquired.

I nodded and he pulled my hand away. Was he trying to starve me of all pleasure? That dick.

And then he replaced my hand with his mouth.

I moaned involuntarily as he licked at my clit unashamedly. The way his lips sucked at it had me grinding my hips up into his mouth within seconds.

“Sh-shit are you sure you’ve never done this before? It feels amazing.” I moaned breathlessly.

Komaeda looked at me with half lidded eyes and suddenly I felt his tongue move downwards, pressing into my hole. I could have died of embarrassment right then and there if it didn’t feel so fucking good. His tongue was so warm as it stoked my walls, making me throw my head back against the pillows in pleasure.

And then he went back to it, that spot that made me feel so good.

The sensation was completely different this time around. I could practically feel the taste buds on his tongue pressing against it. I cried out and began to rub small, slow circles into my clit again.

“Oh my god Nagit-ooh please keep going.” I panted as a pressure began to build in my gut.

Clearly Komaeda got the message because he kept up the pace, I was practically writhing as small moans escaped with each exhale and pant.

“Please babe please I’m so cl-ose!”

I rubbed my clit a bit faster, my circular movements were getting messier by the second. Pants and high-pitched moans got shorter and faster until-

I was absolutely drowned in pleasure.

My vision went white and the world went silent as I grabbed at Komaeda’s hair. I ground my hips into my other hand, rising out my orgasm with the help of the other boy.

The adrenaline wore off and I collapsed against the pillows. I could faintly hear Komaeda laughing as I shut my eyes.

“Oh my, Hinata-kun.”

‘Oh my’ god he loved to say that.

“Oh my what?” My voice was a bit hoarse from all the moaning.

Komaeda was looking up my from between my legs, I hadn’t even noticed him stop tongue-fucking me. His chin glistened with fluids, most likely drool and...me.

He wore the most childish grin on his face. “All your erotic noises have me hard again.”

I sat up and pouted. “I’m not sucking your dick again, you have no self control.”

“Ah, is this about the ‘cumming on the face’ thing?”

“More the ‘aggressive face-fucking’.”

“Are you not meant to do that?”

“I mean, sometimes you are but you really should not if you haven’t agreed to it.”

“Huh. There are many men out there who do not know this fact.”

“Really?”

“I’ve been face-fucked numerous times and nobody ever asked me if they could.”

“Wait wait wait wait wait.” I crawled up to Komaeda on my hands and knees. “I need more context.”

The boy crossed his arms in thought. “I was about 15? It was at a party. Lots of alcohol, lots of older boys.”

I sat eagerly waiting to hear this story. Knowing how all of Komaeda’s stories went, this is going to be a fucked up one that shaped him in some way.

“And I was chatting with a guy, he was about 17. I was really interested in him. We were talking about party tricks. I mentioned that I had no gag reflex and he-“

“YOU WHAT?”

“I don’t have a gag reflex?”

To prove his point, Komaeda shoved two fingers down his throat. I shuddered at the sight, he truly was the ideal gay man.

“God now I’m riled up again. Finish your story.”

Komaeda seemed somewhat pleased. “Well he asked me if I would suck his dick, I said yes. We agreed to meet in the bathroom in 10 minutes time. When I got there, there were 4 other guys as well!”

“Oh god.” I muttered

“So I got face-fucked by 5 guys!”

“Ko that’s awful.”

“I think otherwise. It was one of the best nights of my life.”

I mustn’t have done a very good job at hiding my horror because Komaeda laughed a sickly cackle.

“You’re so gross.” I sighed, flashing him a weak smile.

The boy ceased his laughter. “And you’re everything but gross, Hinata-kun. I’m surprised you let trash like me even touch you.”

“I’d fuck a lot more trash if it was as good as you.” I cradled his chin in my hand and wiped away some of the fluids coating his mouth.

“That’s not very hygienic, Hinata-kun.”

“Shut up.” I planted a kiss firmly onto his lips.

Komaeda gave me a small smile and placed his hands on my hips. “So, I’m still hard. Want to go for round two?”

“Hell yeah.”

#Good LORD i did not realise how old this was #All I can say is that I am glad people enjoyed this #Danganronpa #Komahina #inappropriate #Komaeda Nagito #Hinata Hajime #Fanfiction #Ficgiri

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inkribbon796 · 3 years

Text

Radioactive Ch. 4: The Wolf

Summary: Logan continues trying to make his escape, which he finds is more difficult than it probably should be.

A/N: Title comes from “the Wolf” by SIAMES.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Logan wasn’t quite sure how he got into this situation, but he was determined to find his way out to safety. The logical Side was literally inside the electrical circuitry and connected system of the Server. He knew he didn’t have a physical body, and it was an odd floaty experience. No sense of touch grounding him, but unlike last time when he’d been trapped in a glorified solid state drive for almost a full day, it was energizing. He was pulling energy straight from the power grid. He could move, and he’d gotten into the camera system to be able to hear and see vicariously what was going on.

Troubling, though, he couldn’t find his body where he’d first gone into the stereo system wires in the main room. He didn’t know what happened to it, but he hoped it was reclaimable.

“Where is that muffinhead?” Bad demanded angrily, he was armed with several guns and a furious rage.

“Get in line, Karl felt it too,” Quackity snapped back, “and Skeppy has more aura to spare than Karl does.”

Logan left the hallway and moved into a separate room. He needed to find some type of exit. He needed his equipment and his body, and then he needed to leave. But none of the cameras were positioned near a door. If he could—

The logical Side felt himself being pulled from the system and placed somewhere else. At first Logan felt instinctive fear, remembering the last time he’d been trapped somewhere.

“Calm down,” Tubbo said close to his phone’s microphone. “I happen ta[1] like this phone an’[2] if you break it, I can’t bother Ranboo with it.”

Logan brought up a notepad app and typed: “Where am I?”

“In my phone, big guy,” Tubbo typed, he was smiling and Logan got access to the young man’s camera. “Didn’t want to watch you keep struggling in the camera system. You’re lucky Sam hasn’t found you yet.”

“You have found me, that is not much better,” Logan reminded.

“Yeah, but lucky for you, I have to go home,” Tubbo typed and then pocketed his phone. It cut off Logan’s camera view, but the logical Side could still hear what was going on around Tubbo.

Maybe this was how he could make a quick escape and find the other Sides and they could come back for his body and things. He did not want to leave those, but his survival was more important.

“Hey Tubbo,” Dream’s voice was too close for Logan’s liking. “You find him, yet?”

“Nope, boss man,” Tubbo popped the “p” on his first word, the phone jostling a bit as Tubbo moved. “You need me ta[1] make another round?”

Dream didn’t answer at first.

“Nah,” Dream decided. “Don’t think it’ll do much good. You think about my offer?”

“I did,” Tubbo answered, “it’s a shit offer.”

“Still,” Dream somehow got closer. “The offer stands.”

There was another pause and Logan decided he didn’t like the silence when he couldn’t see.

“Throw in Tommy an’[2] it’s a deal,” Tubbo decided.

Dream let out a cackle, “Didn’t know you still cared about the fucker, but sure, he’s all yours. Take him, so long as I don’t see him, we won’t have any problems.”

“Then we have a deal,” Tubbo agreed. “What you want, fer[3] what I want.”

“Right,” Dream said with a smile almost audible in his tone. There was a shifting and for once Logan could actually feel aura. It made him feel weird but drawn to it like a moth to a flame. “There we go.”

They started moving again.

“You know what Tubbo, you never cease to surprise me,” Dream told Tubbo. “I think it might be because the first time we met, you were desperately trying to be one of Phil’s little fledglings. It was cute in a sad way.”

“Good times,” Tubbo had a soft tone to his voice. “You had ta[1] ruin it by existin’[4].”

“Well, maybe,” Dream half-agreed, “but some cheap blond hair dye was never going to trick Phil into thinking you were one of his.”

“Hey, Dream, can we talk?” Someone Logan didn’t recognize spoke up.

“Give me a minute, Karl,” Dream said. “Just making sure Tubbo here gets home safely.”

“George and I can do that,” Karl promised. “We got this.”

“Oh sure, sure,” Dream agreed. “Tubbo, give me the phone.”

“No,” Tubbo immediately refused as Logan felt an acute sense of dread.

“The phone isn’t part of the deal, give him to me,” Dream ordered.

“Is that yer[5] favor, then?” Tubbo demanded.

“Tubbo,” Dream warned darkly, as Tubbo’s hand went into his pocket. Aura charging around them, ready to strike.

“Dream,” George spoke up, he’d set his hand on Dream’s shoulder. “I’m taking Tubbo home, do you have a problem with that?”

The aura in the room almost plummeted, giving Logan whiplash from where he was hiding.

“Fine, whatever,” Dream growled and Tubbo began moving again.

“Thanks,” Tubbo said.

“Out, before he changes his mind,” Karl began pushing Tubbo towards the back door of the Server and they slipped out. Logan felt the difference but he couldn’t push out of the phone and was completely confused on how to actually perform the action.

“Come on,” Karl urged.

“Shotgun!” Tubbo called out.

“Shotgun!” George called a half-second sooner.

“Come on, man,” George groaned.

“I’m not ridin’[6] bitch, get in the back,” Tubbo chuckled.

“Fucker,” George chuckled.

The three of them got into a car and Logan began to try and escape in earnest, not wanting to be taken to some other location where he also didn’t know where he was.

“Hey, hey, calm down,” Tubbo told Logan out loud. “Yer[7] gonna[8] melt my phone.”

“Wow he’s really in there, huh?” Karl commented, as Logan could see through the front and back cameras, but had to switch between the two because his brain could only focus on one at a time.

“Yeah, he can’t get out,” Tubbo seemed to be in the front passenger seat.

Logan accessed Tubbo’s map app.

“There you go, buddy,” Tubbo laughed a bit as Logan started tracking where they were going.

Then Logan texted Jackie, “Driving along NE Ralph St.”

As an afterthought, Logan added, “This is Logan, I have access to Tubbo Underscore’s phone.”

Tubbo took over and called Jackie’s number. It took a little bit for Jackie to answer.

“H-Hello?” Jackie asked hesitantly.

“Yeah,” Tubbo started, “tell yer legate friend I got his glitch arm in my phone, an’ I kinda want him out before he bricks my phone. You want ta bring yer best tech guy an’ meet us somewhere?”[9]

“How the fook[10] did yeh[11] get my number?” Jackie demanded.

“He’s in my phone,” Tubbo repeated. “Get him out before I have ta[1] get a new one.”

While he was talking, Tubbo began texting Ranboo.

“Boo!!!!”

A response came a couple seconds later. “No.”

“Boo!!! Plz[12] don’t ignore meeeeee!” Tubbo smiled.

“Come ta[1] our base an’[2] we’ll talk,” Jackie told them.

“Gotcha[13], be there soon,” Tubbo promised as Ranboo didn’t answer. He did hang up on Jackie first, and texted Ranboo, “If you don’t stop ignoring me I’m going to start withholding.”

Logan tried to always know where they were often getting in Tubbo’s way as he tried to text.

“No.” Ranboo told him.

“Stop ignoring me and come and pick me up from the heroes’ base.” Tubbo asked, then added, as an afterthought, “plz.”[12]

“Fine,” Ranboo relented.

“Forty minutes to the heroes’s base, Tubbo has requested his husband to be there. There are three people in the car besides myself,” Logan reported. “Also, I may have lost my body and my equipment.”

“Geez,” Tubbo commented. “Calm down, yer[7] gonna freak ‘em[14] out.”

George’s phone buzzed before nanites took over the steering wheel, almost causing an accident as they were pulled off to the side of the road by force. The stop was a little jarring and the front of the car was yanked off and Google was there and looking between the three people in the car.

Karl and Tubbo screamed, George flinched in pure fear.

“Where is he?” Google demanded. “Give him to me!”

The more aggressive android was shoved out of the way by Bing. “I told yeh ta wait one freakin’ second. They were comin’ ta us, dude. E’erythin’ was fine.”[15]

Tubbo leaned over and held out the phone, which Bing gently took.

“See?” Bing smiled. “No need ta[1] freak out. So chill out.”

“Is he glitching?” Google demanded. “He lost his physical form.”

“Googs, chill yer ****s[16] fer about five seconds,” Bing told him. “Lo, can yeh[11] talk ta[1] me in there?”

“No, don’t know how to use the speakers,” Logan wrote in the first document he could bring up.

Bing chuckled, “Yeah, give me a sec[17], never tried ta[1] extract a glitch from somethin’[18]. I got Mini outta[19] my stereo system so it can’t be that much different.”

“I’m not a glitch,” Logan defended stubbornly.

“Lo, you lost yer body, an’ yer stuck in some stranger’s cellphone,”[20] Bing reminded. Then he looked the phone over, “an’[2] I might have ta[1] destroy it ta[1] get you out.”

“Fuck,” Tubbo complained.

“I’ll try an’[2] put it back together,” Bing promised.

“I don’t want to be a glitch,” Logan said and Bing didn’t offer a verbal comment. Logan finally added, “I wish to leave this phone, please.”

“I got you,” Bing promised. “I’m gonna[8] have ta[1] turn the phone off, so don’t freak out. It won’t be too long.”

Jackieboy Man finally reached the group, and Google almost fired on the speedster for getting too close to Bing and Logan too quickly. “Woah!”

“Back up!” Google ordered him.

“Okay, Lo, gonna[8] turn it off in 3 . . . 2 . . . 1,” Bing warned and then he turned on the phone and dismantled it. “Okay Lo, I know you can still hear me. So just relax and— There you are!”

Bing extracted a glowing dark blue orb that swelled out to show a small galaxy inside of it. “Lo? You alright?”

Logan didn’t talk, he was more aware of what was around him rather than seeing it himself.

“Yeah, we need ta[1] get you inta[21] a speaker or somethin’[18],” Bing decided, and Logan’s orb floated haltingly over to Google who shielded the orb with his nanites.

“Yes?” Google asked carefully.

Logan used the little bit of aura he had the ability to use and pulled and pushed the nanites between him and Google.

It took Google a second or two to realize what Logan was asking.

“Oh, of course,” Google smiled and pulled out a cube of nanites, “They’re yours, I made sure to keep them operational for you.”

Logan hesitated, knowing how those nanites had been used before, but he took them. To the logical Side it was like stepping into a familiar pair of shoes, or a well loved coat. These nanites were his. They knew his form and obeyed his command. The imitation of flesh and sinew and bone swirled into being, more of a shell than an actual body. But they were something.

It formed, rather unfortunately the last setting they had been set to, which was Logan’s future Suit of Spades outfit, the nanites turning a glossy black with a brass spade in the front.

“Ugh,” Logan groaned, the voice modulator still active and Logan was quick to try and deactivate that. “I hate this suit.”

“Yeah, not expecting ta[1] see it either,” Jackie agreed as Google had a camera track around Logan as Logan tried to get the nanites to reset to his normal suit but it required a password and Logan didn’t know it.

PATTON

Logan typed it and to his amazement, it worked and he cursed his older self’s single minded nature. He spent a couple minutes reconfiguring the settings for it to turn back into his normal nanite suit and Logan felt relief.

“I wish to go home,” Logan decided.

“Yeah, we can do that,” Jackie smiled, happy to have Logan back.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Accessibility Translations:

1. to

2. and

3. for

4. existing

5. your

6. riding

7. You’re

8. going to

9. tell your legate friend I got his glitch arm in my phone, and I kind of want him out before he bricks my phone. You want to bring your best tech guy and meet us somewhere?

10. fuck

11. you

12. Please

13. Got you (or: Understand)

14. them

15. I told you to wait one freaking second. They were coming to us, dude. Everything was fine.

16. tits

17. second

18. something

19. out of

20. Lo, you lost your body, and you’re stuck in some stranger’s cellphone

21. into

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mk-tozier · 4 years

Text

HELP| IT ONE SHOT

Help/IT ONESHOT

Losers are 15 here, Bev came back from her aunts because i can, x reader

warnings: swear words, a bit heated and just Richie being richie, sorta fluff? plot twist, kinda short because I’m just trying to get out some writing. ok peace

Here I was sitting in Bill’s room, carelessly staring at him, I have a huuuge crush on Bill. He’s adorable, he has a great personality and he’s just so ughhhh 😍. I sat up from Bills bed, sitting criss cross apple sauce. “So Bill?” I look down at my legs. “Yes Y/n/n” Bill says almost immediately, my name flowing with the sweetness of his voice. Something about hearing him say my name makes me flustered.

“I was wondering, do you u-um like anyone?” I ask looking up at him. Bill looks off to the distance for a second. “I don’t know, maybe.” He shrugs a bit. “D-Do Y-you?” “Yea, he’s the most amazing boy I know.” I smile slightly. Bill smiles at my comment. “W-well who is the m-m-mystery boy?” He asks beaming happily. This is it. I’m going to admit my feelings to him. Little do I know, I wouldn’t be the only one who would decide to do this. Before I could say anything the doorbell rang, echoing through the whole house. “I-I’ll get it, but y-you’re telling me a-afterwards.” Bill giggled and winked, swarming my stomach with butterflies once again.

Bill went downstairs and I waited patiently, sitting on his bed, smiling and thinking. After 5 minutes I realized he was taking awhile. I got up from the bed and began walking down the hallway and down the stairs. I stop at the bottom of the stairs. “Hey Bill! What’s up it’s been taking awhi-“ I cut myself off seeing Bill and Beverly, lips locked, pull away. “O-oh.” I say lowly. “S-s-sorry, I didn’t mean to d-ditch you, this k-kinda just h-h-happened.” He blushed madly. Tears swell up in my eyes, I feel a lump in my throat. “N-no it’s fine Bill, I h-have to meet up with Richie at the arcade a-anyways” My voice cracks a bit. “A-are you o-okay?” Bill asks. “Yeah, you seem a bit upset Y/n/n?” Bev says worry In her eyes. “No, I’m fine, I really have to get going though, wouldnt wanna be late or Richie might kick my ass” I joke, faking a smile, running up the stairs, into bills room.

Of course he likes her, I don’t hate Bev, its the exact opposite. She’s sweet and funny, she’s soo beautiful, just the dream girl, perfect for any guy, I don’t exactly hate myself, but I’m obviously not enough for Bill. I grab my back quickly, wiping my cheeks and swallowing the lump in my throat. I go downstairs. “Bye guys” I say quickly before walking out the door, not even waiting for their goodbyes.

Time skip

“Tozier!” I exclaim, hugging him from behind. “Your day just got a thousand times better!” I giggled, trying to get the thought of Bill Denbrough out of my head. Richie turned around and faced me, looking down and grinning. “You bet it fucking did sweetheart.” I hugged him again, tightly, smiling into his chest. “I missed you Rich” I say. “I missed you too sweet cheeks.” He chuckled slightly. My smile died down as I pulled away from the hug. “You okay there y/n/n?” Richie bites his cheek slightly. When he says my nickname, its different from Bill, my name flows with the sweetness of his voice, meanwhile with Richie, My name just fits with his raspy voice, like a puzzle piece. “Y-yea I’m fine!” I fake a smile. “Don’t lie to me, I’ll beat your ass if you don’t tell me” Richie looks at me sternly. “F-fine.” My voice lowers.

“Bill” is all I can let out before I get the same lump in my throat. “Did he hurt you, I’ll beat him up, wh-what’d he do to you?” Richie’s eyes fill with worry. “No, not that. He, he kissed Beverly” I say lowly. He frowns looking into my eyes. “Your amazing doll and if he can’t see that, he’s fucking blind, Blinder than me. I need glasses and i can tell you’re beautiful Don’t be sad over a dumbass like him, I’d pick you over any girl any day.” Richie hugs me. “Thanks Rich.” I sigh slightly. “I just wish it were him who would pick me over any girl, you’re my best friend, that’s different, obviously you would pick me.” Richie sighs lowly, biting his lip slightly, he looked hot with his lip tugged between his teeth,concentrated- ohfuckno, I did NOT just call Richie Tozier HOT. Okay maybe I’d be an idiot if I didn’t realize my best friend was cute, not only cute tremendously hot but I don’t like him, I’m just smart enough to know he’s got good looks. Richie put his hand under my chin, making me look up at him. “Then let’s make him jealous, show him what he’s missing, sound good doll?” He smirks, licking his lips slightly. I smile up at Richie. “Sounds great Rich, but how.” “Okay so you get a makeover right? Look like a whole art piece, not like you don’t already” Richie winks at me before continuing. “And follow my lead.” I nod and smile at him.

Time skip to a couple days later.

I rode my bike next to Richies. “are you sure this is gonna work?” i ask him. “Of course its gonna work, and if it doesn’t then its still a win, we get to pretend to date. I get to act like I’m with the most beautiful girl in the world and you get to act like your with me, the hottest and funniest guy ever.” Richie smirks. “yeah yeah” i roll my eyes, smiling. We pulled over by the quarry, about 2 feet away from everyone else. I got off my bike, laying it down next to a rock. “its way too hot out today, if we go in the water, there’s about 20 diseases we can get but if we stay in the sun, we could get heat strokes” Eddie rambles. “It’s hot out because of me and Y/n!” Richie exclaims. I roll my eyes again, this kid is something else. “shut up Richie” Stan groans. “Eddie we’ve been in the quarry billions of times and every time we come put fine, why are you still worried” i say, reassuringly. “you never know” He replies. “hes just making up excuses because hes too afraid to jump” Richie smirks. “whatever” Eddie says, going back to doing whatever. I look over to see Bill sitting on a rock, staring at me and Richie, i give him a small wave before turning around so i can undress, my swimsuit under my clothes. I watch Richie take off his shirt, his skin pale but slightly toned, he has slight abs which is confusing since the kid almost never works out. I eagerly take off my shirt and shorts/skirt, I feel eyes on me, i look over, seeing Richie looking me up and down. “eyes to yourself Tozier” I giggle. “Hey! I’m just admiring the beauty! Cant a guy look at his girlfriend!” Rich snaps. “girlfriend!?!” Everyone mutters from behind us, shocked. He winks at me. “called it!” Bev says. “its about time you two got together, the sexual tension is unbelievable” Sexual Tension? But there’s nothing between me and Rich, what is she talking about? This whole thing is fake. “Yeah seriously, I’m surprised you guys havent fucked by now” Stan says. What the hell are they talking about? But I’ve always liked Bill. Yeah, Me and Rich flirt all the time but there’s no feelings involved, right? I feel my cheeks burning, not from the sun either. Richie smirks, staring at me. “Who says we havent” He shrugs, the smirk staying on his face, as if it were glued there. “RICH!” I squeaked, my cheeks burning even more. “forget i ever said anything” Stanley gagged. “DO YOU GUYS NOT KNOW THE AMOUNT OF DISEASES-“ “yes we know, we know, and Richie is only joking” i roll my eyes. “Bill, you okay?” Ben asks. Rich winks and elbows me softly. “y-yea I’m fine” he replies. “you sure? You’ve been awfully quiet” Ben asks again. Richie nudges me again. I don’t wanna make Bill jealous anymore, what if this whole time, i only told myself that i like Bill to cover up the fact that i like Richie? No I’m just being stupid now, I’ve never liked Richie. Hes just my best friend and hes just helping me out, thats all. “i-I’m okay, l-l-lets just swim!” He says, smiling slightly.

Time skip

The whole time, me and Rich splashed each other and messed around, flirting a lot too. Richie dunked me under the water before pulling me back up, grabbing my waist, our bodies touching, our faces inches apart, his lower body brushed against my leg,holy shit,rich was hard. My face heated up, why is he hard, he doesn’t even like me.Just breathe, its probably just a teenage boy thing. His thumb rubbed circles on my bare waist, our faces inched closer,only about 2 inches away from eachother now, i felt his warm breath against my lips. This can’t be happening, worst part is I’m not stopping it. “RICH! Y/N! C’MON WE’RE GETTING OUT! WE’RE GONNA GET ICECREAM” One of the losers yelled. Me and Richie pulled away, both of us blushing, Richie blinked before swimming away. My face heated up thinking about what happened in the Quarry. Why’d I allow us to get that close. “H-hey Y-Y/n can i t-t-talk to you for a s-s-sec?” Bill asks. I look over at Richie, who sends me a smile. His eyes look sad, why would he be sad? This was his plan afterall.

I followed Bill into a small opening away from the losers. “I-i know I’m k-k-kinda later but i l-like you. It’s o-okay if y-y-you dont like me. i-i k-kn-know your with richie.” Bill admits. “actually I’m not with Richie, it was to make you jealous because i liked you but what about Beverly, I wouldn’t want you to lead her on, she obviously likes you” i say. “y-yeah i kn-know. the k-kiss happened o-o-out of nowhere. i t-t-told her I wasn’t s-sure of m-m-my feelings” He says. “w-wait...l-liked?” “yeah...i- i think i like Richie.” i say softly. “o-oh. okay..” Bill says. “he d-d-definitely likes you b-back. You sh-sh-should shoot your shot” i smile. “thanks Bill” “o-of c-course! G-g-good luck!” he says

I walk back over to Rich, who was trying to put on his shirt but was failing miserably, i giggled. He finally got on his shirt. “Jesus this damn thing hates me or something” He mutters, causing me to giggle again. “oh hey! sooo how’d it go with Bill” Richie smirks. “um...i actually rejected him” I say. Richies eyebrows furrowed, he frowned, but i could tell he was trying not to smirk. “why? i thought you liked him?” he asks. “Beverly likes him, it wouldnt be fair to her. aaaand I’m pretty sure i like someone else.” i say. “oOoOoO and who might that be” Richie smirks. I put my hands on his shirt, pulling him closer to me, connecting my lips with Richies. This was a Kiss waiting to happen, Richies eyes went wide but they soon relaxed as he put his hands on my waist, kissing me back. I pull away, out of breath. “does that tell you who i like?” i ask. “nah, i think you’re gonna have to try again.” Richie smirks. I roll my eyes smiling before connecting our lips once again. This kiss was much more rough and passionate, our lips glided against eachother, smoothly as if our lips were made for eachother, like puzzle pieces connecting. His tongue glided against my bottom lip, asking for entrance, i part my mouth slightly, Richie entering his tongue right away, exploring my mouth. The kiss got more heated and rough, both of us out of breathe but not wanting to pull away. “THATS DISGUSTING” Eddie yells. “hey lovebirds we’re gonna get icecream” Beverly chuckles. I pull away from Richie, panting. “we’ll catch up, i still have to put on my clothes” i say. The losers start to get on there bikes and talk amongst themselves. I grab my shirt and short/skirt putting it on quickly. “sucks those have to go back on” Richie winks. “RICH!” i squeak. “whaaat? I’m only telling the truth, I’d rather watch you in your swimsuit” he replies. I roll my eyes. “so...Wanna be my girlfriend?” Richie asks. “no because i just made out with you for no reason. Of course i wanna be your girlfriend Rich” i reply, he rolls his eyes smiling. “Now lets go before the losers forget about us!” i say hopping on my bike.

#it x reader #richie tozier #bill denbrough #fluff #richie tozier smut #richie tozier fluff #richie trashmouth #it one shot

52 notes · View notes

tiaragqueen · 4 years

Text

Paroxysm

✂ Pairing: Yandere! Shinazugawa Sanemi x Maid! Reader

✂ Word Count: 1,6k+

✂ Trigger Warning: Implied possessive behavior, death, violence, blood, injuries, yandere theme

[Edited]

***

I like his hairstyle and clothes, and I’d like it even more if he’s given a moment of happiness.

If you like my writing, please support me on ko-fi!

“If life's standing still and your soul's confused, and you cannot find what road to choose. If you make mistakes, you can't let me down. I will still believe.” - At Your Side [The Corrs]

The war had long ended, and yet, the toll it left was still felt until today.

Being the daughter of the housekeeper who had been residing at Ubuyashiki estate since her early adulthood, you were already familiar with the existence of demon slayers and their stringent training, including the pillars themselves. Though, your knowledge of the latter was superficial at best. You only learned bits of their backgrounds, motives in joining the Corps – which, to your relief, were all noble unlike some slayers who only entered for the money – and combat styles. Your interaction was limited to some of the friendlier ones, such as Kyōjurō, Shinobu, Kanroji and, to some extent, Uzui.

Of course, you weren’t, by any means, despised the quieter ones. You occasionally had a lighthearted talk with Himejima and once shared a peaceful moment with Tokitō, whose death rattled you greatly for its macabre circumstances.

And yet, for some unknown reason, you ended up with Sanemi instead.

Perhaps, it was the pity that compelled you to work for him. After all, he had lost his remaining brother in the cataclysm of war against Muzan and his subordinates. Indeed, Sanemi might be the least amiable pillar, but he wasn’t a horrible person to be around. As long as you were mindful of his mood and not caused an unnecessary ruckus, Sanemi would treat you civilly.

Besides, he never really lashed out to you, anyway. Even when he was still in the Corps, and you happened to slip before his eyes, he would silently help you whilst muttering something about your clumsiness.

Overall, he was as aloof as he could be around females, and you delighted in that ‘mellow’ side of his.

Peeking through the doorway, you spied Sanemi in his usual spot on the porch and smiled slightly. It was relieving to see him become one with nature instead of wringing every last drop of stamina through incessant training. You slipped out and quietly kneeled beside him, respectful of the appropriate distance to avoid disturbing his restless equilibrium.

“Good afternoon, Shinazugawa-sama. Do you need something?” you asked cordially.

Sanemi merely stared forward as though he refused to acknowledge your presence, but you knew better. After the war, he had grown more sullen and distant to the point of ignoring the people around him, almost echoing Giyū himself. An inexplicable pang pervaded your body at the abject sight, and how it wouldn’t likely to change anytime soon.

It was a good thing you had experiences of housekeeping, otherwise, you might’ve incited his infamous ire with your callowness.

You shifted a little on your spot, dismissing his silence for rejection or dismissal. “Would you like a cup of tea? Or ohagi?” you pressed.

“… What’s your intention?”

Cocking your head, you hummed questioningly.

Sanemi slowly turned his head towards you, pale eyes attempting to discern your true motives.

“People don’t find me nice at all, and yet, you chose to work for me instead,” he explained, squinting slightly. Ah, so he did realize. “Are you pitying me?”

When you offered no response, he scoffed knowingly.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Do you think I can’t take care of myself? Why do you think I chose a small house for me?” he huffed. “I don’t need help from anyone.”

“But you accepted me.” you murmured.

Sanemi snapped his head in your direction. “What the hell was that?!” he growled.

You flinched. “I... I just want you to know that I understand your feelings.”

“You fucking know nothing!”

Cold fear throbbed your heart and rendered you motionless. Sanemi gradually recomposed and withdrew from the abrupt proximity of his face with yours, instead opting to direct his ferocious glare to the fence again.

Looking down to your lap, you slowly exhaled the anxiety.

“My father… He was killed, too. He was on the way to home after chopping some woods when he met a demon in the forest. I was a baby at that time, and we were very poor. It wasn’t until my mother met Ubuyashiki-sama did she finally have a stable job to feed us both.”

The recollection softened your gaze as you traced patterns on the floorboard.

“You’re right, Shinazugawa-sama. I know almost nothing about you aside from the general stuff, and I’ll never know the depth of your feelings. I don’t even know other pillars very well, and we often chat. But the grief, the sadness you’re feeling… I felt it too, and I still do sometimes.”

You took a deep breath and blinked away the tears that leaked through your lashes.

“Regardless of your opinion, Shinazugawa-sama, I’ll continue to support you. I can’t fight, and I don’t know how to wield a sword properly, but I hope my assistance can be of any comfort for you. We don’t even have to converse if that’s what you want. Just treat me like you usually do and I promise I won’t disturb your affairs.”

Sanemi was quiet through your story and retained a similar state when you bowed to him.

“I shall buy some red beans in the market. Please, excuse me.”

The market was animated as always. Children frolicked around while their mothers were preoccupied with bargaining and buying necessities. After fulfilling the task at hand, you decided to replenish your energy by strolling and observing the village. The advantages of working for Sanemi was the relative ease in maintaining the house than Ubuyashiki estate, and Sanemi himself wasn’t at all bothered to find you resting after completing your duty.

Some extra time for yourself was always a blessing, and you were glad to know that you’d picked the right choice.

“Why you look at that; a fair maiden walking alone in the forest.”

You blinked out of your trance and spotted a group of rugged men intercepted the beaten path. Assessing the looming danger, you mentally cursed yourself for getting distracted and warily retreated.

The tallest man, who you presumed to be the leader, hummed mockingly. “Where are you going, dear? The sun’s about to set, you know? The demons will come soon, so why don’t you join us? We’re on the way home.”

“I know that.” you snapped, keeping a cagey eye in case one of them decide to strike first. “And no, thank you for the offer. My master’s waiting for me, so I need to go now.”

A whiff of body odor clogged your nose as he began to advance, deliberately cornering you against a tree. “Aw… Surely they won’t mind me if I borrow you for a sec, right?” he cooed, clasping your chin in his rough fingers.

“… Like hell, I will.”

The neck that moved his revolting face closer to yours suddenly broke. Sanemi landed a few meters from you, his back facing the man who collapsed right before your very eyes. The sword you’d seen him holding and polishing regularly despite not being a slayer anymore trembled with barely restrained passion, the tip glinting under the fading sun.

He raised his head and smirked diabolically. “So, which one of your fuckers wants to move first?” he challenged.

When nobody dared to step forward upon sensing the egregious bloodlust practically radiating from his form, he grinned.

“No one? Well, that’s just too easy.”

His abrupt disappearance sparked dread within everyone’s chests, yours included. Your eyes frantically darted from one tree to another, hoping to catch a glance. Where was he? Was he leaving you? No, no, that was impossible. Why did he even bother to kill their leader if he would just leave you later? Besides, as bad as his attitude could be, Sanemi wasn’t the type to leave things half-assed.

So, where was he–?

A faint breeze hit the man furthest away from you. Your jaw slacked when Sanemi manifested behind him and swiftly sliced his head clean. The next person wasn’t able to react fast enough before Sanemi dropped to one knee and killed him. Granted, he was comparably leaner than the rest of his ‘companions’, but the sight of your master effortlessly slit his abdomen was just… appalling.

How hideous would it be if he were to face demons? You couldn’t even grasp the extent of his raw strength.

Sanemi rose to his feet in a single twirl and stabbed another man on the heart whilst kicking the last one unconscious. The deplorable man crumpled once Sanemi yanked the sword from his chest, and you would’ve joined him too had the tree wasn’t there to support you.

For a split second, you were glad that the leader tried to corner you earlier.

Under the setting sun, Sanemi merely stood among the bodies, chest heaving and sword bloody. You gazed at his back, reluctant to speak yet felt an uncontrollable need to state the obvious.

“You killed them.”

Gripping your kimono, you continued. “Y-you do know that they’re humans, right? Not demons…”

His silence skyrocketed your nerves. Finally, after a minute that dragged on for eternity, he opened his mouth.

“Anyone who hurts us is demons in my eyes.”

You withdrew against the bark as though it would hide you from his vacant yet penetrating look.

“Do you understand? Some humans aren’t all that different than demons. There's no point in pitying them.”

Sanemi sheathed his sword and nonchalantly walked past you, ignoring your stunned silence. “Wipe that pathetic look off of your face and let’s go home,” he demanded.

“B-but what about–?”

“The demons will eat them. Now, hurry up if you don't want to be their next meal.”

With a heavy heart, you averted your gaze from the massacre before you and nodded obediently.

“Yes, Shinazugawa-sama.”

Above, the moon gradually erased any trace of light from the view.

#anime yandere au #yandere anime au #anime yandere #yandere anime #yandere oneshot #yandere scenario #yandere imagine #yandere kimetsu no yaiba #yandere kny #Yandere sanemi #Yandere sanemi shinazugawa #Yandere sanemi x reader #Yandere sanemi shinazugawa x reader #Yandere Shinazugawa Sanemi x reader #Yandere Shinazugawa sanemi

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quickspinner · 4 years

Text

On commenting and feedback

Hey friends...so something’s been bothering me a little and I want to talk about it for a sec. I want to be clear I’m not making this post to call out anyone in particular, this is an entire trend I’m seeing and I just...kind of want us all to take a breath for a second.

Every so often I feel like there’s a wave of posts that goes around about how important commenting and reblogging is to support writers. And that’s absolutely true. A fandom that doesn’t interact with its content creators dies a pretty pathetic death, it’s absolutely true.

But the tone of a lot of these posts have started to bother me, especially as I see newer writers pick them up, and I just want to put some things in perspective here, and leave some thoughts for both the writers, and the readers.

Readers, your comments are absolutely valued and extremely motivating for creators to receive. At the same time, there’s no contract that says writers are entitled to a certain level of feedback. It is not on you as a sole individual to reach an invisible standard of interaction that will cause them to create more. And if you’re sweating and freaking out and guilting yourself over commenting--then don’t. Find the level of interaction you’re comfortable with that, and accept it, and don’t feel guilty about it. If writing a comment for me causes you agony and robs whatever joy you took out of my story, then I don’t want it. I truly don’t. Just leave the kudos if you can. There’s lots of helpful advice out there on how to comment if you want to but aren’t sure what to say, and when in doubt, read the other comments and feel free to add “what they said!” or use them as a model for your own comment. But absolve yourself of the guilt. Do your best.

Writers. My friends. My colleagues. There’s nothing wrong with wanting validation and feedback. Yes, it is absolutely disheartening when you put a lot of effort into your work and you don’t receive the level of reaction you are hoping for. You put yourself on the line and you did something scary and you should be very, very proud of that. At the same time, no one chained you to the desk. No one forced you to pour out your soul. No one guaranteed you a certain number of comments of a guaranteed minimum length. Sometimes you throw out a line out there and nobody picks it up, and you feel sad and alone, but that’s not the fault of whoever was on the other side. You chose to put yourself out there, I hope because there was just something inside you that had to come out. And the best you can do is make that choice with your eyes open. Just like there are plenty of good published books in the world that never made the bestseller list for reasons completely unrelated to the effort put into them or the quality of their content, sometimes you publish something at the wrong time, or to the wrong audience, or in the wrong place, and it just doesn’t hit the way you want it to.

And I especially want the young writers and the new writers to hear this: you know what? This problem has always been there, and it’s never going to go away. I’ve been publishing fic off and on since I was 18 and the major form of feedback was leaving messages on a website’s guestbook. It’s always been a problem. As writers we’re hungry for feedback. We want to know someone is on the other end. The supply is never going to equal our demand. Regardless of whether or not that is fair or the way things should be, that’s the way things are. You’ve got to find a way to be at peace with that, or you’re going to be frustrated and discouraged forever. It will get better as you grow in your craft and grow your audience - and as it does, it will take more and more to satisfy you. So just, take a minute before you lash out because you feel your effort isn’t as reciprocated as you feel it should be. I’m all for spreading awareness of how much writers crave feedback and what a boost it is for us to receive it, but we don’t have to throw a temper tantrum to do that.

I encourage you to think about your piece a little bit before you publish it and calibrate your expectations. Every piece has it audience and some of them are going to be smaller than others. Sometimes that is not “fair;” by which I mean, an audience’s response is not necessarily proportional to the amount of time, effort, and emotion put into a work. As of the time I wrote this, my silly little piece that I wrote for fun in an afternoon has literally three times the number of notes as the fic I have put the most heart and work into, despite the one being extremely short and the other being multiple chapters. I’m not particularly bothered by that, it was entirely predictable (although sometimes it’s not; sometimes audience is very, very unpredictable). Things that are funny or sexy are almost always going to get more attention than things that are deep and angsty, things that are short are frequently going to get a bigger audience than things that are long. Just consider your expectations.

It also takes time to build an audience. I recently reblogged a post of mine from early last year when I was newly returned to tumblr that had 9 total notes and it quickly shot up into the 70s. Same fic, not a word different, it’s just that over the last year I’ve built a bigger audience. So consider that, as well. As you’re trying to build that audience, do you really want your brand to be ‘that author who’s always complaining about people commenting’? There are some things in life where you have to get angry to effect change. I don’t feel that fic feedback is one of them.

“But how am I going to improve?” My friends. Expecting to improve your writing from internet comments on your work is like fishing with a deep sea trawler. You might get some good stuff but you’re going to dredge up a lot of trash in the meantime, and it’s probably not worth your effort and the toll on your confidence to wade through it. Find yourself a group of people, either in real life or online, who you trust to give meaningful feedback. Sometimes that’s super easy, and sometimes it’s not. But it’s completely worth it to find people who both challenge and encourage you, and it’s a lot less discouraging than inviting internet trolls to beat you over the head. Be specific, too, in asking for the type of feedback you want. I myself am extremely sensitive to criticism, so I choose to ask for it only in very limited ways, from very specific people. To continue the previous metaphor, use a fishing pole in the right type of water with appropriate bait, to make sure you’re getting the kind of feedback you want.

But you want to know a secret?

It’s okay to not care about improving. It’s okay to just enjoy what you’re doing. So if you want to improve, by all means try. But if you just think you should want to improve, when in reality you just want to write a fun story, that’s totally okay too. Sometimes you have to give yourself permission to not necessarily be the best that you can be. Let yourself write the fun silly crack once in a while; not everything has to be a V. Serious Undertaking.

I’ve rambled on long enough, so let me just conclude with this: It’s okay to want validation. It’s okay to encourage people to comment, to tell them how much their comments and reblogs mean to you, to ask them to leave you feedback whenever they can, and give helpful tips about ‘how to comment if you’re not sure to comment.’ It’s not about the request, it’s about the tone. It’s not okay to browbeat people, accuse them of killing fandom, to tell them that they’re the reason that you aren’t writing more/anymore, because that’s patently untrue. You are responsible for your own creative process, and if it can’t thrive without constant reassurance, then that’s not an audience problem, my friend. That’s a disease that’s terminal for your writing.

And finally, remember to support your fellow writers and creators. Nobody gets it the way fellow creators get it, and if we can’t depend on each other for support, we’re certainly not going to get it outside our own community. If you do feel compelled to reblog one of those rants on commenting, I hope you paused before you did it to go leave comments yourself. Creating content doesn’t give you a magical exemption from supporting others. None of us can hold up the fandoms and float our ships all by ourselves. Do as much as you can to support your fellow creators, and if you can’t, then that’s okay. Just extend the same grace and courtesy to your own readers, okay?

#quickrambles #unpopular opinion maybe #on writing #on feedback #readers thank you for your support

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that-bajan-kid · 4 years

Text

Boku No Hero Academia Chapter 267 SPOILERS

(Horikoshi I SWEAR TO GOD)

Bow before your Queen, peasants. Ignoring her badass looking arm for a sec, is that right leg a prosthetic? It isn't drawn the same as the left one. It looks more robotic too. Horikoshi would be the type of guy to have her loose her leg too, huh?

Why is Tokoyami remembering this now of all times? Is this another death flag for Hawks? After what happened last chapter most definitely yes.

Fataxi lol. He's embraced his true calling. And he's got all the kids now! Now that Mudman and Chargebolt had a taste of blood they want more. I'm glad the kids are heading back to the rear tho.

Fat explains to the kids what Midnight said to them before the raid started, that they only needed the kids for a little bit and then it's off to the rear with them, and they meant that shit. Now it's the adults turn to wreak havoc on the villains and as Fat says this we can see Dabi's fire exploding out of the top floor of the mansion. This catches Tokoyami's attention and he looks back just in time to see not really see him but the line of fire that follows him as he flies at moc 2 around the mansion Hawks fly out and away from it. Tokoyami better not do what I think he's gonna do.

In case you were, for whatever reason, in denial about Twice dying.

Holy shit Hawks' wings are practically non existent at this point. Like, all that's left is the outline of their bones and that's it. He looks terrible and is still very much on fire. Dabi's fire is getting hotter. Is that because he's pissed?

Dabi congratulates Hawks on his heroic deed of committing a murder and stomp down on Hawks so he won't go anywhere not like he can, he got no wings.

There he is! I was starting to get worried since Horikoshi hasn't shown us anything gory for a while.

Anyway. Dabi's got this unhinged looking grin on his face and Hawks is like "Yo what the fuck? I just killed your friend and you don't look to broken up about it." Dabi responds by saying his tear ducts are burnt so he's physically incapable of crying and that Twice was the key to achieving what he wanted so of course he's sad, heartbroken even. What a great friend you had Twice.

Hawks says he researched everyone in the league and the only people who came up empty was one crusty boi and one burnt boi.

We get a flashback from Hawks to when the commission first brought him in and they tell him he's part of a special program to make super powerful heroes and that training is gonna be incredibly difficult. They ask if he can handle it and Hawks says yeah not like he has much choice.

OH MY GOD HE WANTED TO SHINE LIKE ENDEAVOUR CAUSE HE SAVED HIM. Ya did a little more than beat up bad guys but that's not what we're talking about here. Is it finally gonna happen? Are we FINALLY gonna have a Dabi reveal???

HORIKOSHI YOU BITCH! I fucking knew he was gonna pull some shit like this! God fucking damnit! You know, I'm more upset with myself for hoping. Shit. If that speech bubble isn't blacked out in the viz translations I'll be very happy.

Judging by Hawks' reaction the Dabi's true identity is super shocking. HMMMMM I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE TO HAVE GARNERED SUCH A REACTION FROM OUR RESIDENT BURNT CHICKEN HMMMMM.

I don't really understand what Dabi is saying here. I think it might be how it's worded.

Dabi goes on to say Hawks shouldn't have focused on the league, that one man's philosophy can change the world and that he is the "ultimate manifestation of Stain's will".

Dabi says goodbye to Hawks and that doesn't give a shit about Hawks' life and death and we see the start of his fire on Hawks' face only to immediately cut to Giganto. He's staring at the radio in his hands, probably waiting on Shigaraki to wake the fuck up and give him something to do. I swear if Hawks ends up dying too I-

We cut again back to Jakku where Her royal Highness, Queen of ignoring personal health and the long term effects it has on your body, Miruko who is not having a fun time with the Noumu.

The Noumu are adapting to her moves and, as a result, are causing them to be ineffective. Despite this, Miruko said fuck it and is now charging towards where Ujiko and Shiggy are.

The Noumu are not pleased with this latest development and the one with the weird spine hat thing attacks her, successfully injuring one of her ears and grazing her side. Another Noumu manages to rip off a fist full of her hair too. Horikoshi is entering dangerous waters now.

Miruko is thinking "If I'm dying today I'm taking Shigaraki and the doctor with me" while bleeding like she has an unlimited amount of it in her body. I would very much like it if Miruko didn't die too. We can't have two potential character deaths in one chapter. I refuse it.

Miruko is in the room with Ujiko and Shigaraki and it looks like she might actually win.

NOPE NEVER MIND! Horikoshi's just killing off everyone this arc, huh? No one is safe from him.

At least the Noumu went for the legs this time (;_;).

OMG Ujiko's face is, once again, hilarious. He completely shattered his goggles with his tears.

(Edit: just realised that you can see Enji's flames behind the Noumu)

Back to the mansion. You alright there Dabi? Was the idea of killing Hawks to much for you?

OH SHIT! TSUKUYOMI TO THE RESCUE!

Oh shit. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE FATGUM YOU HAD ONE JOB. How did that conversation go? "Fat Gum Hawks is in danger and as his protege I must fulfil my shonan manga destiny and save him" "Aight fam just don't die, yeah? Aizawa would kill me" ?????? How could you let this happen. Dark Shadow is weak to light and what does fire make a lot of? OH YEAH LIGHT! Dabi's gonna roast him alive without a second thought. Or crush his spirit with the news of what Hawks did. Shit.

AND HERE COMES MOTHERFUCKING ENDEAVOUR. TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH. FUCK. I feel like breaking that glass tank is the last thing she should do but go off girl.

This chapter was emotionally exhausting. Like shit Horikoshi give me a break. I knew he was gonna pull some bullshit cop out with the Dabi reveal. I'm gonna do some investigating with that panel just in case Hori tries to hide something. This man really is like a succubus. Or I guess he would be an incubus.

I think Shiggy is gonna wake up because Miruko broke the tank. Giganto is gonna start throwing punches. TOKOYAMI BETTER HAS STAY ALIVE. And yeah. That's it.

Until next time.

#boku no hero academia #boku no hero academia spoilers #bnha #bnha spoilers #bnha manga #bnha manga spoilers #bnha chapter 267 #bnha chapter 267 spoilers #i made a quesadilla this morning and im proud of myself

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cautious-creation · 3 years

Text

Adjusting to the 2000's-Steve Rogers

Fandom & Character: Marvel (MCU); Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans). Mentioned: Col. Nick Fury (Samuel L Jackson), Winter Soldier/Bucky Barnes (Sebastian Stan)

Pairing(s): Captain America/Steve Rogers (Chris Evans) x 2nd person female y/n

Word/page count: 2500+ words

CW/TW: cringe...so much cringe, unrealistic interactions, ignoring canon timelines, tickle fights, coming on too strong, ...I’m sorry

Summary: “You are a S.H.E.I.L.D agent assigned to help Captain Steve Rogers to adjust to modern day society and technologies. Steve had only just woken up in S.H.E.I.L.D's fake hospital and been chased into the center of New York by the organization, you being previously selected to be his P.A. and housekeeper.”

Author’s note: I hate this, I hate this so much. I wrote this when I was about 15 and it’s...just so bad. (It’s even got emojis as scene dividers) But here it is anyway, unedited aside from auto corrected spelling errors. Enjoy the cringe. 😅 👍

You held out your hand in greeting. "Y/n y/l/n, Captain Rogers. I'll be helping you adjust to the 21st century." He looked at you, a small smile of appreciation gracing his gorgeous face. He shook your hand. "A pleasure agent y/l/n. I'm glad there's someone to help me with all...." He looked around at the S.H.I.E.L.D vehicles surrounding him and the Big Apple's high rising buildings. "....this." He looked back at you sheepishly, embarrassed of his inability to find a better term. "Yes. I ought to get you to where you'll be staying for the meantime." You put your hand on his shoulder, guiding him away from the centre of the road and prompting him to tear his gaze away from the city surrounding him. "I'll be staying with you in one of S.H.I.E.L.D's residencies until you've been deemed fit to live alone." You continued as he followed you to one of the vehicles blocking the rush hour traffic in order to help the newly thawed Captain. You'd been driving for a while before he finally started talking. "So, I've been sleeping for seventy years, we won the war and this... Nick, character has assigned you to help me figure out the rest. Right?" You looked at him. "Yup, you seem to catch on quickly. I guess I won't have a problem getting you up to speed." He chuckled; a beautiful sound you'd be hearing a lot of, as it turns out, in the time you'd be helping him. "Let's hope so, I never was the best student." He smiled at you. "I suppose we'll have to see how well your teacher explains modern politics. Something I'm only aware of because my job requires it." You shrugged. He shook his head laughing. 😊😚😊😚 "Well, welcome home Captain." You opened the door to the medium sized apartment decorated in typical 40's fashion. "Wow. Indoor decorating hasn't changed very much." He stepped in, admiring all the detail used to help make him feel at home. "Oh it has. We just decided it'd be better to have a home that looked familiar, so you have a place of comfort in this new and strange world." You set down the keys and your hand bag on the kitchen table before slipping your feet out of your three inch black pumps and sliding them under one of the chairs around the table. "So." You turned around to see Steve still admiring the open plan kitchen and lounge. "Tour?" 🙂🤔🙂🤔 "...and this is your bedroom. We got some of the clothing essentials for you, but I've been given a budget for when you want to buy something more to your taste." He held a teal shirt that was two sizes too small against himself. His gaze went from the shirt to you and back to the shirt. You laughed. "Which I can see will be happening sooner than my colleagues who bought that expected." He turned the shirt around and looked at it from an arm's length. "You think?" He teased. "No, no no no. You're supposed to say 'ya think'. It sounds more sassy." You put your one hand on your hip and snapped a 'z' in the air with the other. Now that is sass. You both laughed on the way to the kitchen. "As far as I can remember, there's a pre made meal for tonight and then I'll need to figure out what I'm cooking from tomorrow onward." You rummaged through the fully stocked fridge. "I could cook if you'd like." Steve offered concern in his voice. "No need, I've been cooking supper for myself almost everyday for three years. Now where is that darn... Ha! Found you!" You pulled a cling-filmed dish of honey mustard chicken fillets with fluffy white rice out of the fridge. "That looks delicious, I've only just realised how hungry I am." Steve said, marvelling at his first taste of proper unrationed food in who knows how long. "Mhhmhh, sure does. It'll take a few minutes to reheat though. I saw a bag of apples in there if you're that hungry." You responded unwrapping your supper and putting it in the microwave. "No, I'd like my first meal after the war to be a proper, unspoiled one." You chuckled at his adorable mock determined face. "Okay. You're the one with abs of steel. I'm not going to argue with those." You poked him in the abdomen. He leapt back releasing a Yelp like giggle. "Wait, are you ticklish? Is Captain freaking America freaking ticklish?!" Another jab to the stomach proved the unthinkable. That's such a compromising weakness! "Are you?" He asked eyebrows raised playfully. "No no no no no no no no hahahahaha....." He jabbed you in the ribs, unleashing a litter of kitten giggles from your petite frame. And so the tickle fight began. You were the first to end up on the floor, pulling the super soldier down next to you on the lounge carpet. You two were rolling around on the floor in fits of laughter, you trying to stop his jabs to your stomach and ribs, and him crying from laughing so much at your kitten giggles and walrus cackles. "Ok...ok....ok..I give up." You panted. "You win, Rogers." You were both trying to stop laughing and catch your breath when the timer on the microwave went off. You managed to stand, eventually. "Alright, that's enough for now. I thought you said you were hungry?" You held out your hand to help him up. "Hungry? Please, I'm starving!" He grabbed your hand and pulled himself up. You chuckled. "Then lets EAT!" You grabbed a towel off the stove top to get the hot food from the microwave. He snatched the towel straight out your hands and stuck his tongue out at you as he proceeded to try and fail to open the microwave door. You laughed and pressed the, clearly labelled, open door button. He responded with a 'hmf', a pout and stuck his nose in the air as he used the towel to take the steaming hot food out of the microwave. "Oh, well done Captain Rogers. You've successfully taken a dish of food out of the microwave and placed it on the counter top. Well done." You proceed to slow clap sarcastically as he did jazz hands and bowed; but what happened next, you did not expect at all. He threw his hands in the air before bringing them down to wrap around you and lift you off the ground in an, almost bone crushing, hug. He spun around the kitchen, still holding you with your arms pinned to your sides. "Ok...um...you're excited." Your voice was filled with shock. What the hell was he doing? He put you down and continued to look in cupboards and draws for cutlery and crockery, acting as if nothing had happened. "Okaaayy? I'm now very confused." You looked at him sceptically. "Now why would the extremely intelligent agent y/n y//l/n be confused." He looked at you, innocence plastered all over his face. You shook your head in mock disappointment. He chuckled as you helped him dish up your first meal together. 😧🙄😧🙄 "I've got a few paperwork assignments I need to get done in the next few weeks. They should keep me busy while you're reading up on what you've missed. Speaking of which..." He looked up at you from his plate that he'd been silently staring at for a while. "Would you prefer for me to catch you up from after you crashed to the present or from now back to when you started your nap?" You asked teasing slightly. "Um...then to now, that way, if anything comes up you don't have to keep going back to the present to add on what's happened." He gave you a small, distracted smile. You nodded, understanding his distanced mind. You ate the last forkful of rice on your plate. "Right, I'm going to shower. You can put your plate next to the sink with mine when you're done. And...um...yeah. See you in a bit." You stood from your place at the kitchen table, picking up your empty plate and pushing in your chair. 😕🍴😕🍴 "...say what you wanna say, na na na na na na, honestly, I wanna see you be brave..." You sang softly to yourself as you walked into your bedroom to get changed into your pajamas. "...with what you wanna say, and let the words fall out, honestly I wanna see you be brave, I just wanna see you, I just wanna see you, I just wanna see you, I wanna see you be brave." There was a knock on your door. "Y/n? I'd like to ask you something. Are you decent?" It was Steve's voice, shy and vulnerable. "Just give me a sec." You slipped on your track pants and sweatshirt. "Ok, done." He slowly opened the door, his face was full of confusion. "What's wrong?" You sat on your bed looking at his sad expression. He sat next to you, resting his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands. You put your hand on his back comfortingly. "I....um,....I'm just trying to get my head around all this...all my friends are gone...everywhere I used to go out is either closed down and refurbished or nonexistent...my childhood home is gone and different...everything is so different." He sighed. You started rubbing his back. "Hey, it's okay. I'm sure some of your friends are still around, and you'll be surprised how long some of the Brooklyn restaurants have been open for. I'm here to help you through this. WE can do this. It's going to be fine, trust me." You rest your head on his shoulder comfortingly, giving him a sideways hug. And that's when the tears started to fall. You heard his muffled sobs, which caused your own tears to appear silently. "It's okay. It will be alright. We'll get through this, Steve. We can do this....you can do this." He turned towards you, eyes red, tears staining his cheeks. "I...I just." He sighed and tears started falling again. You pulled him into a comforting hug, rubbing his back up and down, whispering encouragement. He wrapped his massive arms around your small waist and dug his face into the crook of your neck. "I'm scared y/n." He confessed in a small whisper. "I know, so am I. But we can and are going to get through this...together. Okay? You're not alone. I'm right here." You answered honestly. You stayed there in each other's arms for a while as the tears slowly stopped falling. "Y/n?" Steve shifted his head off your shoulder slightly. "Yes?" He lifted his head, turning to face you, his eyes looking down. You put your hand on his cheek and gently wiped his tears. His gaze found yours. "You...um. You said you were scared." He looked at you for confirmation. You nodded. "Why? What are you scared of?" You left his gaze sighing and sliding your hands into your crossed legs. He put his hands on your shoulders. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset you." He apologised. A sad smile crossed your face. "Being an agent of S.H.I.E.L.D puts my life at risk. I have information about people who aren't particularly fond of my superiors. I recently blew one of my covers. They're sure to be after me soon if not already." You looked into his sympathetic eyes. "But that's not what I'm scared of, I'm scared of who they'll send after me. I could easily take on one of their assassins or gunman. But there's a rumour, a legend if you will, of a highly trained, physically and mentally enhanced, ruthless, master killing machine. He's been around for decades and is still as young as he was when he started. He has no emotion, no soul, no past, no family, not even a name. He's referred to as the Winter Soldier by the few in the intelligence community who believe he exists. He's a ghost, everything I've told you, that's all S.H.I.E.L.D knows about him; and we have some of the best hackers and infiltrators in the world." You shivered at the thought. "Enhanced." He muttered. "Is that all you got from what I just said?" You chuckled. "Does S.H.I.E.L.D know about any Hydra scientists taking in people to experiment on?" He asked, fiery determination in his eyes. "I'm sure there are plenty of human enhancement files in the Hydra filing cabinet, but that's not our immediate concern. You just worry about catching up. I'm sure I can figure the rest out myself. I am a secret agent after all." He chuckled. "True, if ever you need help sifting through those documents....let me know." He looked at you, he wanted confirmation that if anything happened you wouldn't hesitate to ask for his help. You nodded. "Thank you, Steve. I really appreciate your concern. It's not often someone is willing to help me. You know, before I've saved their lives, and them mine, a few times." He pulled you into a nice warm hug. You hugged him back, finding comfort in his arms. You wrapped your arms around him, wishing the moment wouldn't end. He slowly pulled back only to cup your face with his hands and wipe away tears you didn't realise you'd shed. You sat there, eyes locked, emotions stirring, so close, but something preventing either of you from making the obvious next move. He glanced at your lips. You smiled, cocking your head to the side slightly and leaning back to stand up. You didn't know what made you do that, but you felt it was the right thing to do, given the fact that both of you were swimming in a pool of mixed and confusing emotions. "Coffee?" You offered. He nodded with a smile. 😪😙😪😙 "But...how?" He stared at the coffee machine. You put your hands in the air wiggling your fingers. "Magic." You said mysteriously. You both laughed, heading to the table coffee in hand. "So, what's the first thing you'd like me to teach you about?" You sat down, sipping the cappuccino in your hands. "Well, at some point, how on earth that thing works..." He pointed to the coffee machine, you scoffed smiling. "But for now I think we should start with the basic, everyday things. Like that, and this, and definitely that." He pointed at the microwave, your phone and the tv respectively. "Okay, well this you won't be using until yours arrives from S.H.E.I.L.D, that I'll show you how to use when next we need to heat food, and that...c'mon." You headed to the couch, grabbing the remote from it's place atop the TV cabinet. "Okay, this red button with the circle and the line, that turns it on." It turned on showing the news channel at an eardrum bursting volume. "This controls the volume!" You shouted over the reporter's bored voice. Once the sound was at a tolerable level you looked at Steve. "Well, that was interesting." You giggled. "This changes the channel. We've got about two hundred to chose from. So, hopefully you won't run out of stuff to watch." You were flipping through channels when you came across some really old footage shot during the Second World War. "History channel. Wanna check if these people even bothered to do their research properly?" You asked. He shrugged. "Might as well. You never know, they might even play one of my videos." You both chuckled and got comfy, this looked like it'd be a long documentary. 🎞📺🎞📺 😂😍😝😘😂😍😝😘😂😍😝😘😂😍😝😘

#fanfiction #fanfic #Marvel #MCU #Avengers #Captain America #Steve Rogers

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ms-demeanor · 4 years

Note

I appreciate your positivity posts a lot, but there are a couple things that make me instinctively angry when i see them One, it really frustrates me that i cannot be good at everything. I know it may sound kinda stupid, but i feel jealous when i see people learning skills i know I'll never master cause they arent a priority over other skills im already working on Two, when im angry/frustrated and i see positivity, it only makes me angrier None of this is your fault, just needed to vent a little

(This post requires a table of contents)

Frustration that you can’t be good at everything - A

Frustration with positivity - B

Do I contradict myself? Kinda but not really - C

Ah-ha, but I have fooled us all - D

That doesn’t sound stupid at all, it actually sounds exactly like the insta-rage that I get from being bad at something or from hearing “anybody can do X.”

I know that sounds contradictory, considering that I’ve been saying “anybody can learn artistic skills with practice,” but I’ll explain in a sec.

Okay so I’m learning guitar right? Like, with all the hand-pain and dyspraxia and all I’m still giving it a go and it’s taking forever and it’s really frustrating.

It’s more frustrating because I realized I had to do it alone - if I’m practicing around people or a person is sitting next to me while I’m trying to learn a skill or get the fretting of a particular chord down or (especially this one) trying to memorize a sequence of notes and movements it’s. It’s extremely not pretty. It’s apparently very upsetting for the people who are around me when that happens.

I get furious with myself and I get frustrated because goddamnit fucking children can do this thing and I’m an adult and it’s a simple fucking sequence of five movements and I’m just getting it wrong because I’m a useless idiot.

It takes about four minutes with a guitar teacher or jamming with a friend for me to devolve into “attempt sequence > fuck sequence up > apologize > try again but now while more mad at myself > fuck it up worse > apologize > forget beginning of sequence > try really hard not to start calling myself a fucking idiot in front of a friend who really shouldn’t have to handle this.”

And when I do that it feels terrible. It feels bad, feels like my skills have regressed, makes me want to put the instrument down and not pick it up again.

The thing is, I do this with every skill that I’m learning. You should see me when I’m trying to learn a new version of some kind of software. It’s terrible. I’m at my absolute worst and lowest when I’m trying to find the new place Adobe has hidden a menu or what the new command is to format something in Word.

But here’s the deal: I know what this is when I’m doing it. This is emotional dysregulation.

Basically finding out that I have ADHD changed my life and got me to really start examining a lot of my reactions to things and the behavior patterns I’ve lived with for most of my life.

I experience an impulse to be furious when people are more skilled than I am, I AM furious when I feel like my skills aren’t where I think they should be. But neither of those things are actually good for helping me learn to do the thing and I’d much rather learn to do the thing than be angry about not being good enough at it.

I spend a fair amount of time in therapy. I have worked on recognizing when I have the impulse to do something that is going to be unhelpful or reactive and attempting to approach that impulse with other options.

That’s not easy! And it doesn’t come naturally! My first response to a lot of things is still anger or frustration or despair.

But since I *know* that’s my first impulse and I’ve learned enough about my own behavior to understand that my first impulse is frequently the wrong course of action (grounded in panic or whatever) I’ve been working on accepting that my first reaction is typically negative and moving on more quickly to other, more helpful reactions.

(this has been really fantastic for increasing my feelings of agency and control over my own life; acting on your panic response all the time isn’t good for your long term stability)

You know you can’t be good at everything, you know that it takes a long time to acquire skills. That doesn’t make it any less frustrating that you don’t have the skills that you want to have. So it’s understandable that your first reaction to the skills positivity posts would be negative, and it’s understandable if you want to sit in that negativity for a little bit.

It’s also understandable to mourn the skills that you could have had. “If I hadn’t stopped practicing guitar in my teens I could be so much better now.” “If I hadn’t had to get a job with such a long commute I could be drawing daily and I’d be so much farther along.” “If I hadn’t been discouraged by my parents I’d have had so much more practice with music.” “If I hadn’t gotten injured I’d be such a good dancer right now.”

There’s a perfect you that lives in your head and they’ve had all the opportunities you missed and got to keep practicing when you couldn’t and have all the money you don’t and sleep you keep missing. I get wanting to be that person. I get wanting what they want.

But the you in your head isn’t real and it’s sad if you’re ignoring how wonderful the real you is because you’re not perfect in the same ways.

So if you can, I’d recommend trying to see if there’s a positive response you can practice remembering when you get frustrated about your skills.

(for me it’s honestly just saying “the next best time to plant a tree is today” and remembering that I’ve got a long time to learn to do all the things I want to do. It’s not a race, and if I can’t get to something now I can try later.)

You’re great. You’re great and you’re trying hard and if you wouldn’t yell at your friend for not learning a skill or being good at something you shouldn’t yell at yourself either.

So when I was like, 17, I wrote a bit of poetry that went like this:

I’m a casual cynicwho prays for optimistsbut it’s hard for me to be onewhen I’m talking with my fists.

I am a very, very negative, pessimistic person. Optimism and positivity irritate the hell out of me.

The frustrating thing about positivity is that it largely feels like criticism. It feels like “if you can’t do X, Y, or Z it’s because you choose not to.”

And I sure as fuck can’t blame people for being negative. I’m negative and the world is shitty and everything is difficult and expensive. I really, really don’t think that people are choosing not to do what they want to do.

So when you hear “you can do it!” it’s a very natural response to go “yeah, easy for you to say, you don’t have a million things preventing you from doing it.”

Part of this is that your brain is a filthy liar and it thinks that skills are easy to acquire. Your brain is going “if anyone can do it and I haven’t it’s because I’m lazy and I suck.”

I would like you to remind your brain that it is a filthy liar.

(I would also like to remind people that negativity that exists to the point that generic positivity posts upset you or make you angry is a symptom of depression)

But the other thing is that you probably DO have a million legitimate things that are keeping you from Doing The Thing and when you’re seeing someone else say “Do the thing!” you’re just seeing the shiny thing, not their million things that were in the way too.

Doing shit is HARD. It’s exhausting. It involves opportunity cost. If I want to make fanart I have do dedicate time to that that gets taken away from somewhere else and you know what sometimes it’s just better for me and more in line with my desires to re-read a 100k slow-burn than it is to make a drawing of the characters.

But it’s also really important to recognize which kinds of positivity actually contain criticism.

My initial statement in the Gru comic was “Talent is bullshit, nurture your skills with practice & make the content you want to see in the world.” This was in reaction to a simply-drawn comic that expressed that you need talent to make fanart and not everybody has talent.

A lot of people have seen that as criticism.

I am. Really, really not attempting to criticize people with these posts.

But also, yeah, being told “woah, hey, just calm down” when you’re already pissed isn’t going to make anyone’s afternoon any better. And there’s not much I can do about that (and I know you don’t want me to, you said you were just venting).

“You hate positivity and yet you make positivity posts, interesting.”

So the brand of positivity posts I hate are the “If I can do it anyone can!” posts and here’s why:

Not everyone can be on a Roller Derby team.

Breaking my back and having to quit roller derby made me reassess a lot of my attitudes about the world.

If you point to a specific activity and say “if I can do this anyone can do this” you are wrong. There are a lot of people who aren’t going to be able to do a thing. If you say “If I can lose the babyweight within three weeks of giving birth anyone can” there are a lot of people who can’t do that thing and there is a kind of implicit criticism there. “If I can get over my scoliosis and lift weights anyone can,” is kind of saying that the people with scoliosis who can’t lift weights just aren’t making an effort.

“If I can do this anyone can” is wrong. It ignores the fact that people are all in unique circumstances and have different limitations. No, not anyone can. Not everyone can be on a Roller Derby team.

But what I’m saying in my posts isn’t “anyone can draw” it is “if you practice a skill you will improve at it, so if you want to improve at drawing you need to practice.”

And I’ve been very clear in admitting that not everyone can do this, due to time constraints and low energy and physical limitations.

The one deviation I’ve made from that is to come pretty close to saying “anyone can do art” and again, I consider that a bit different because “art” is a very broad category and I do believe that pretty much anyone can create things that I would consider art, even if that art isn’t traditional visual media. And again, any of those kinds of art would also improve with practice.

The joke was on all of us all along, by the way. While I’m being pretty positive about the idea of practice and the fact that it will improve people’s performance at all skill levels there’s a secret:

That Gru post isn’t so much positive about practice as it is *incredibly* negative about the concept of talent.

Talent IS bullshit. There is a variable range of innate abilities that people can have that may jump-start a particular skill but proficiency in that skill is always going to be down to practice, not talent.

Talent was made up as a cover to explain the “brilliance” of people who had armies of laborers supporting them. I bet I’d be able to invent a lot of shit if I didn’t have to do laundry or worry about whether I was going to be able to afford both food and rent next month. Talent is a myth that pairs nicely with great man theory in that it is crap and I want people to understand that sucking at things for a long time is a part of not sucking at things eventually and also that you’re going to get a lot more done working with a group of motivated people than you are if you wait for one “talented genius” to change the world.

#long post #very long post #look you know it's a long post when *i'm* the one putting a long post warning on it

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