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dreamescapeswriting · 2 months

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Dancing In The Shadows ~ LF [MATURE WARNING]

CONTINUATION OF THIS PIECE

WORD COUNT: 5.4K

GENRE: mafia AU, hacker reader, felix technically kidnapping her, insta love (sorry but its fun to write hehe) enemies to lovers? Cute, fluffy, SMUT MINORS DNI, protected sex, public sex (kinda) links into the other stories too ehe

PAIRING: Felix X Fem!Reader

⤜Copyright: © DreamEscapesWriting - February 2024

⤜MASTERLIST

Felix sat behind his imposing mahogany desk, his eyes fixed on you as you stood before him, pulling on the sleeves of your hoodie nervously as you waited for him to say something. You were the reason for his recent financial troubles...well, not really, Felix had more money than he knew what to do with but you'd been the one with the balls big enough to steal from him. The one who had infiltrated his bank accounts with such skill and finesse that even Felix had to admire your audacity. Felix wasn't stupid though, he'd done his research before he'd "hired" you, taking you from your boss with the impression he'd bring you back but it simply wasn't true.

Once he had you he simply wasn't going to just throw you back, you were a once in a lifetime catch and he wasn't dumb enough to drop that. In the hacking world, you were simply known as Firecracker. No one knew who you were by physical appearance but the jobs you would do told people what they needed to know.

You stole from the rich to give to the poor, a real modern-day Robin Hood. If Felix wasn't so rich he would have been pissed off at you for trying it on him.

"You've got guts, I'll give you that," He finally spoke, his gravelly voice breaking the silence and making butterflies flutter inside of you, you hated them for it. Ever since he'd taken you from work you couldn't stop the tingles in your back or the butterflies whenever he'd touch you or speak to you.

"Hacking into my accounts takes some serious skills. I should be mad, but I'm impressed." All things he'd already told you in the office but was going back over on his own, leaning forward he studied you closely. He wanted to know more about the elusive Firecracker that no law enforcement or underworld man had been able to catch.

"So, what? You're going to kill me now?" You'd seen the man standing outside of his office with guns, he might have promised you a job when you were at work but who was to say it wasn't just some ploy to get you to go with him.

"I gave you my word. I take that seriously," Felix said as he leaned back in his chair, a sly grin playing on his lips as he watched you. While you were faking confidence he could see the nerves seeping out of you and it impressed him more than he would have liked to admit.

"I want you to work for me," He declared, you arched an eyebrow at him.

"You've proven yourself to be quite the asset, and I could use someone with your talents, you already stated my computer security sucks...So fix it." He turned his desktop computer around and you blinked at the screen before turning back to face the man who was watching you closely.

"And if I refuse?" It wasn't like you had much of a choice but you wanted to know the repurcations.

"Then I'll have to resort to less pleasant methods of persuasion. But trust me, you'll find it much more lucrative to be on my payroll." Kissing your teeth a little you looked back at the computer. Despite your better judgment, you found yourself intrigued by the offer. You'd never worked for anyone but yourself in the security way before, but the idea of being affiliated with one of the most powerful crime families in the city was undeniably tempting.

"I have conditions." You weren't dumb, you were going to do this with rules in place. You'd seen enough movies and read enough articles about the underworld that you had to be prepared.

"I would be surprised if you didn't." A slight smirk played on his lips as he watched you scramble to think of something but he couldn't help but think about how beautiful you were, how cute he found it whenever you'd play with the sleeves of your shirt.

"I want full access to your network. I need to know everything about your system if I'm meant to be fixing it." He nodded at you, it was his full intention to give you anything you asked for. Hell, he'd give you a house and a more stable job if that was something you wanted from him.

"Okay. What else?" He got out a notepad, ready to write down a list of everything you wanted but you just stared at him,

"Lastly. Once I've fixed it, I'm out. No strings attached." The pen in his hand stilled as he stared down at the notepad, it had never occurred to him that you would want to leave but he nodded,

"Fine. But I have a feeling you'll want to stick around." He tried to make it seem as though he was joking but you shook your head.

"Nothing will make me stay, Mr Lee." You sounded so sure of yourself and maybe you were but now that Felix had you there was no way he was going to let you go so easily.

"Hmm. We'll see." He mumbled, getting up and readying his office for you to use.

With determination and skill, you set to work. You fortified Felix's digital defences, erecting layers of encryption and implementing state-of-the-art security protocols. It was insane how poor his security was for someone who was supposed to be the best of the best. You thought you would have been working alone but Felix watched you work the whole time. You spent every night in your own room in his huge house, the two of you would eat meals together giving you time to get to know each other which was something you were feeling unsure about.

The more time you spent with him the more you wanted to leave, growing attached to someone was never an option for you and getting attached to a criminal? Never.

But Felix found himself falling for you and hard, every day you'd work he would watch you with a mixture of fascination and admiration, impressed by your intellect and resourcefulness.

But as the days turned into weeks and your job neared completion, Felix found himself growing reluctant to let you go. He had his men ruin some of your work so that you'd stay around longer but it was getting harder and harder to do that with how good your work was. He had grown accustomed to your presence, your sharp wit and unwavering confidence a welcome distraction from the monotony of his daily life.

You pushed your chair away from his desk, smirking to yourself. You were unbelievably proud of how well you'd done your job, despite the obstacles that had been thrown in the way.

"I've fixed your security systems, Lix," You announced, Felix's smile dropped from his lips as he stared back at you. He knew this time would be coming but he thought he would have more time than this.

"It's time for me to move on." You stretched in the chair, your heart breaking at the thought of leaving him but you weren't going to listen to it. Felix's heart sank at the thought of losing you.

"I- I still need your help," He stuttered a little, he hated that he was stuttering but you were the one person who turned him into a nervous wreck with just one look.

"I fixed everything Lix, everything is unbreakable." You weren't going to allow yourself to stay any longer, you'd already felt yourself falling and you wanted to stop it in your tracks.

"Firecracker...Come on, you're the best of the best. I need you around," He sounded desperate but he honestly didn't care, he didn't want you to leave. Not when he was so close to you now. As soon as you were gone he'd be alone and the thought of that terrified him.

"You'll find someone who's just as good." You shrugged, you knew people who could replace you and if he really wanted you could get him their names.

"I can't let you go." He said simply as the door to his office opened,

"You promised." Your voice was strained as you realised what he was going to do.

"I'm sorry."

"You said you kept your word!" You screamed as two of his men stood at the door, holding their guns another led you to the room you'd been staying in.

"I hate you!" You screamed at the door, Felix' stared down at the floor. He knew he could get you to like him, he just needed a little more time with you.

You were trapped, despite your skills, you'd been no match for Felix and his powerful organization. Reluctantly, you resigned yourself to your fate, knowing that you were at Felix's mercy.

It had been a few weeks since Felix had taken you in, every day you were forced to spend meal times with him. You hated him but at the same time, your heart was still falling for him, despite him taking you hostage.

"Yn, you have to speak to me eventually," Felix stated as he watched you walk away from him. You'd spent most of the meals in silence, with Felix taking the conversations and talking about his day mostly.

"Why? You want me to be some trophy in your grasp, trophies don't speak." You mumbled. It was the first time he'd heard you speak in weeks and even though it was a mumble it was music to Felix's ears. In the dimly lit confines of the home, tension hung heavy in the air as you turned on your heels to face him.

On one hand, you hated him for taking you but on another, he had taken you away from everything you hated about the real world. You were given the freedom to explore - with an armed guard by your side. You had no bills to pay, no responsibilities, it was nice...It would have been nicer if it hadn't been against your will.

"Yn, you have to understand," He pleaded, his voice tinged with desperation as he tried to justify his actions as if that was even possible.

"I didn't take you hostage because I wanted to. I did it because... because I couldn't bear the thought of losing you." You scoffed a little, your eyes flashing with anger as you met his gaze, your fists clenched at your sides. He was unbelievable.

"That doesn't excuse what you did," You retorted, your voice sharp with reproach.

"You can't just kidnap someone and expect them to forgive you because you're afraid of being alone." You grumbled at him, folding your arms across your chest, you weren't just going to forgive him for kidnapping you just because he gave you some piss-poor excuse.

Felix winced at your words, the weight of his guilt pressing down on him like a suffocating blanket. He knew that he had crossed a line, and had violated the trust of the one person he cared about more than anything else in the world. Even though he'd barely known you, part of him knew the two of you were meant to be together and he wanted it to work more than anything.

But if he'd let you leave when you were supposed to, he never would have seen you again and this had been the only logical part his brain could come up with.

"I know I messed up," He admitted, his voice thick with remorse, it was now or never to make it up to you.

"And I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I swear. But please, just give me a chance to prove that my feelings for you are real, that I'm not just some monster trying to control your life." Your anger softened slightly at his words, your heart aching with the weight of his confession.

"I love you...I have a shitty way of showing it but I do." You blinked at him. Love? He barely knew you.

"Your idea of loving me is to kidnap me and force me to stay against my will?" A pang of guilt shot through his chest as he stared at you.

"I'm sorry, Yn, I know I messed up and I'll do whatever it takes to make it right, but please...Just...Just give me a chance to prove to you my feelings are genuine." You wanted to believe him more than anything in the world but it was hard when everyone in your life had used love as a weapon.

"I want to believe you, Felix," You whispered, your voice tinged with uncertainty.

"But you have to understand that trust isn't something you can just demand from someone. It has to be earned, and right now, I'm not sure if I can ever trust you." Felix's heart sank at your words, the realization of his mistakes hitting him like a freight train.

"I'll do whatever it takes," he promised, his voice trembling a little, he was willing to do anything to get you to agree to be his.

"I'll make things right, I swear. Just please... please don't give up on me." You stared at him, biting the inside of your cheek as you thought about it.

"I'll have conditions." If you were going to give this a real chance then you were going to do it with your own conditions and speculations.

"Anything." He breathed out, relief sounding in his voice as you finally agreed to him.

"I want to go out more. Alone." You stated plainly, that all you wanted was time alone. Time to go out without someone watching your every move.

"Anything but that." He bit off a little, his tone unsure of what to make of that. What if you ran? What if you found a way out and never came back?

"You said you want me to trust you but you won't trust me," You snapped at him angrily, the anger bubbling over and finally spilling.

"Yn-"

"That's the only thing I want. Time alone." He sighed a little and rubbed the bridge of his nose, looking back to you before nodding.

"Fine. You'll come back?" You knew running would be useless but part of you didn't even want to run.

"I promise." You whispered as he watched you, his eyes narrowing a little as if he were trying to figure out if you were lying or not.

"There's a ball coming up. A charity one, you can go shopping for a gown and accessories." He told you,

"I don't have money," With that, he handed you a black car with a smile on his lips.

"Buy yourself something nice," You stared down at the black card. Oh, you were planning on buying something nice, but it wasn't just going to be one thing.

You found yourself decked out in silk and diamonds, courtesy of Felix's card that you'd kept on you ever since you'd gotten back from your little trip. Felix carefully walked you through the grand hall and smiled as he looked around, the event was in full swing as people began to mingle with one another. But you were the only person Felix wanted to spend all night talking to. Felix escorted you through the grand ballroom, all of these things had become to the same for him over the years but he would always make sure he came to them to donate a wealthy sum before leaving.

Only tonight, he wanted to stay. He wanted to take you out on the dance floor and show you off in the stunning dress you'd worn and let everyone know that you were his.

"This place is so beautiful." You gasped out, you couldn't believe your eyes. The opulent chandeliers cast a soft glow all over the room, soft music played through the hall and people chatted among themselves.

"You look beautiful," He whispered in your ear, smiling to himself as he looked at you. Ever since you'd walked down to him that night he hadn't been able to keep his eyes off you, not that he ever did before. Your attention slowly turned to Felix who was dressed in a tailored suit, looking as handsome as ever.

"You look handsome," You whispered, part of you wanted to hate him for keeping you hostage but after almost maxing out his card - or so you'd hoped - you were starting to feel a lot better about everything.

Felix began to navigate through the crowds of people and the more you walked the more out of place you began to feel. All of the people in attendance were wealthy and powerful people, you were a hacker who had a chance incounter with a man worth more than you could possibly think about. The further you walked the more aware you were of the curious glances and whispered rumours that were being passed around. Felix didn't even seem fazed by them as he reached for a tray of champagne and handed one of them to you.

"To a wonderful night," He cheered to you, both of you drinking from your glasses until his phone started to ring inside of his pocket, smiling weakly he pulled it out.

"Hello...Yes, this is he," He mumbled into the phone before turning to look at you, and you smirked already knowing what the phone call was about.

"200K...Hmm," He hummed as he stared at you, he had to admit he was a little impressed with how much you'd managed to spend on the card he gave to you.

"No, not to worry. That wasn't fraud, just my future wife throwing a tantrum. Alright, thank you."

"Future wife?" You giggled a little as he licked his lips slowly and shook his head at you,

"200K? What did you even buy?"

"A whole computer system, a whole new wardrobe and some diamonds." You showed him the earrings you were wearing and he couldn't help but laugh to himself.

"You didn't give me a spending limit," You shrugged it off, you expected him to get mad but Felix was quite impressed. He never thought you'd be able to spend that much in one day.

"For you? There's never a limit baby," He smirked before kissing your lips softly. For a fleeting moment, you forgot about the dangers that lurked outside the ballroom walls, or that you'd been taken hostage by Felix. You just allowed yourself to feel happy, wrapping your arms around the back of his neck and kissing him back deeper this time.

Tonight, you weren't just some hacker girl that Felix had brought along to the ball to play Cinderella for the night and you weren't his captive. You were simply a woman lost in the enchantment of the moment, captivated by the enigmatic man at your side.

As you slowly pulled away from one another there was something different in Felix's eyes,

"What's wrong?" You were almost scared your kiss had been bad but he shook his head at you, hesitating for a moment as he thought about what he could say to you. He wanted to let you go, to let you leave the home if that was what you truly wanted but part of him was scared you'd never come back. Taking in a deep breath he reached out, his hand trembling slightly as he cupped your cheek,

"Yn, there's something I need to tell you." Your heart skipped a beat as you stared at him, waiting for him to say something but your heart raced faster with anticipation.

"What is it?" Your voice barely came out above a whisper as you stared at him. With a sigh, Felix searched your eyes, his gaze intense and unwavering.

"I know that our relationship began under... unconventional circumstances," he admitted, making you smirk a little.

"But as I've come to know you, I've realized that you are so much more than just a skilled hacker. You're intelligent, brave, and fiercely independent—a woman unlike any other I've ever met." He had no idea where he was going with this, it wasn't something he'd rehearsed. But your heart was fluttering at his words, your chest swelling with warmth you'd never felt before.

"And...I find myself, drawn to you in ways I can't quite explain." Your hand slowly moved to cup his cheek and you felt how hot he was getting,

"You've become an integral part of my life. And I don't want to imagine a world without you in it."

"Felix..."

"I know I technically held you captive so...I understand if you don't want to stay with me but I needed to let you know my feelings are true." He looked at you, swallowing a lump the size of a boulder in his throat,

"But I'm going to let you go. You can leave the house, you can move out."

"Lix," You whispered, your voice trembling with emotion as you stared at him. His confession washed over you as you watched him closely, you felt the same way for him and hearing him say he was willing to let you go made you only want to stay.

"I feel the same way, I-I never wanted to...I always thought love was just a weapon but you..." You didn't even know where to start with him.

"You care for me more than I ever thought possible." You whispered to him before Felix' blushed,

"Dance with me?" You added before he nodded, taking your hand in his.

As you swayed in each other's arms, the world around you faded into insignificance, leaving only the gentle embrace of the music and the warmth of your shared connection. Your head was rested against Felix's chest, your heart racing with a mixture of nerves and excitement. Despite the lavish surroundings and the curious glances of the other guests, you felt safe and protected in his arms, as if nothing else mattered but the two of you at that moment.

Felix held you close, his touch gentle yet possessive as you moved together in perfect harmony around the floor. With each step, he felt the weight of his past sins and regrets fall away, replaced by a sense of peace and contentment that he had never known before.

"Lix," You breathed out as you stared up at him, your eyes sparking a little as he stared down at you. In a moment of unspoken understanding, your dance slowed, your movements becoming more intimate as you gazed into each other's eyes. The soft melody continued to play, wrapping around you like a cocoon as you drew closer, your breaths mingling in the air.

With a gentle touch, he cupped your cheek, his thumb brushing against your skin as he leaned in, his lips hovering just inches from yours. your heart raced in anticipation, your eyes fluttering closed as you surrendered to the inevitable. You'd kissed before but now there felt a sudden pressure for this one.

Your lips met in a tender, electrifying kiss—a silent declaration of the feelings that had been simmering beneath the surface for so long. Time seemed to stand still as you lost yourselves in each other, the world around them fading completely as you shared a moment of pure, uncontrolled passion.

"Follow me," You breathed out, grabbing his hand in yours as you made your way through the crowds, ignoring the people who were staring and mumbling. Right now you needed Felix and you didn't have time for pleasantries as you made your way through the hall.

"Here?" He chuckles as he lifts you up onto the countertop of the bathroom you'd just dragged him inside of, your heart racing as you watch him closely.

"What if someone comes in?" He arches a brow at you before you drag him closer to you by his tie. He knew no one would come in, his men had followed him to the door and were no doubt waiting outside refusing anyone entry if they tried.

"Then they'll see we're busy and leave." You grumbled before kissing him, this time the kiss was deeper and more intense as you pushed off the blazer he was wearing onto the floor and worked on the buttons of his shirt.

"Someone's very needy." He chuckles to himself as you glare at him, you weren't in the mood for any games, you needed him and you weren't afraid to show it.

"Shut up and do something about it then,"

"Gladly." He groans, his hands rolling up your dress until he exposes your bare core and he smirks to himself,

"No panties?" He arched his brow at you and you giggled spreading your legs for him to get a better view. His eyes run down your body, his tongue darting out to wet his lip.

"You're so fucking beautiful," He groans, his hands drifting to your thighs, his knuckles catching on the edge of your pussy making you whimper.

"You take my breath away," He tells you breathlessly,

"Prove it." You demand, spreading your legs, his eyes drop to your pussy and he groans instantly falling to his knees. You were the only woman he would ever drop to his knees for like this. Having the great Lee Felix on his knees for you sent a power trip through you like no other. You grab his head as he trails his tongue along your slit making you whimper a little at him,

"Please." You plead with him, your hips bucking a little toward him as he chuckles softly sending vibrations all over your body. His tongue touches your clit, circling it, then tracing it down your centre and dipping inside of you, lapping you up hungrily. Your hands tighten in his hair, pushing his face closer to you as you grind against his tongue. Your eyes fluttered shut as your head rolled back against the mirror behind you.

"D-Dear God, Lix, please." You moan out as he removes his tongue, licking his head to look at you as he licks his lips.

"You taste like paradise," He groans before dropping his head and eating you out like a man starved, His eyes meet yours as he keeps his face buried between your thighs, your hips trying to get more friction as you cry his name out loudly.

"Felix!" You scream, his teeth gently biting on your clit as he sends you over the edge. Ecstasy washed through you as your hips shuddered beneath him, a giant smirk toyed on his lips as he got up from the floor.

"That was fucking hot," He moans out before kissing you deeply, your legs wrapped around his waist as you yanked him closer to you. The kiss was desperate, raw, filled with a need so strong you began to grind against his pants.

"You'll make a mess, firecracker," He chuckles softly before you pull away, unbuckling his belt and kicking his pants down leaving him bare in front of you. Felix was quick to reach for his wallet, grabbing a condom from the inside and rolling it onto himself as you wiggle your eyebrows at him.

"This is going to be quick," He winks at you, he could hear a commotion happening outside but you smirked at him. The two of you were at a ball filled to the brim with rich people and you wanted them to hear you getting fucked by him.

"Lix, don't make me beg," You whine before he slams into you, holding you tightly as you groan, throwing your head back against the mirror so hard you were afraid it was going to break. You scream his name out as he pulls back and thrusts into you again, your legs wrapped around his waist as you bring him closer to him.

"Felix!" You cry out as the door handle jiggles, making you giggle as Felix chuckles to himself.

"Felix! Is that you?!" A man yelled from outside the door, you whimpered a little but Felix only continued to plow in and out of you.

"I'm busy fucking my girl, we'll be out soon!" He calls out before slamming into you again, your head rolling back as your hips bucked toward him. You dig your heels into his ass urging him on and his hand presses onto the mirror behind you, the other on your hips as he fucks you. His thrusts wild and hard as he groans your name out.

"L-Lix." You moan out as he continues to drive into you, your hands digging into his shoulders as you yank him closer to you, your release drawing closer as you cry out his name.

"I've got you, you can come, firecracker," He moans out, reaching his hand down and rubbing your clit roughly. Your release rushes over you unexpectedly as you cry out his name loudly, whimpering and bucking uncontrollably. Felix chuckles to himself, completely in love with the way you come undone around him but he doesn't stop.

He continues to fuck into you, one leg over his shoulder as he hits you at a different angle,

"G-God, YES!" You cry out as he smirks to himself, his fingers rubbing your clit as you whimper his name out, your third orgasm of the night already fast approaching as you whimper his name again and again.

"Come for me, firecracker. One last time," He grunts, thrusting harder as you cry out his name, your stomach clenching as you cum around him once again, clenching so tightly you send him over the edge and he spills into the condom.

The two of you stay like that for a few seconds until Felix carefully lowers your leg down and leans his forehead against yours, panting heavily as you let out a tiny giggle.

"Think people will stare when we go out there?" You leaned back against the mirror and watched as Felix smirked and nodded.

"Who cares?" He chuckled before slowly dressing himself. A loud banging sounded on the door as you rolled your eyes, someone was clearly desperate for the toilet or for Felix's attention and you hated them for it.

"I've got info for you!" Someone yelled from outside the door as Felix stuffs himself back into his trousers, did himself up and checked that you were dressed before opening the door he wasn't going to risk anyone but him seeing you.

"Minho," Felix greets with a smirk on his lips, the man glances in your direction before looking over his shoulder.

"Kitten, take Felix's date to the girls for a chat. The men need to talk business." You glanced at Felix to make sure it was okay first and he nodded, kissing your cheek quickly before you ran off with the woman Minho had spoken to.

The girls you'd been standing with were all so friendly and each of them had been telling you about their dates, you since learnt that all of them were with a criminal madman which had made you feel a lot better about yourself and Felix.

"I hate you," You grumbled, jokingly as Felix stood behind you, his lips brushing against the skin on your neck making your body shiver. The bathroom sex wasn't enough, you wanted to go back home and fuck until you saw the morning sun,

"I hate you more, my little firecracker" Felix smirked down at you before you swatted his hands away from you, but he successfully managed to get his hands around your waist and he smirked.

"Excuse us, ladies but we have some making up to go and do." Felix chuckled before dragging you away without a second to even say goodbye to them all.

"Hey I was having fun, who knows when I'll see them again?" You pouted a little, but Felix spun you around and pulled you into a tight embrace.

"You'll see them at our wedding no doubt." He shrugs as if it was the most casual thing in the world for him to say and you roll your eyes at him,

"You're that sure I'll marry you?" You quipped, he was. In fact, he was willing to put money on it.

"I'm sure I can convince you after a few more orgasms," He winks before you shove against his chest and make your way out to a car.

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daughter-of-sapph0 · 11 months

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tips for redditors joining tumblr

make sure you have a profile picture: otherwise people will think you're a bot. we currently have a bot infestation right now, so many people block on sight unless you look like a human

reblog stuff you like: reblogging is how this site operates. it's sorta like resharing the original post around, and it'll show up on your blog too so people who follow you will see it. sometimes you can add a comment or tags, but it's not necessary

make your experience better: if you're on desktop, download Firefox, ublock origin, shinmigami eyes, and xkit. these make the website usable, block ads, and let you know who you should murder on sight. if you're on moblie... uh, idk...

turn off tumblr live: literally no one uses it, and it probably steals your data. go to blog settings, dashboard preferences, snooze tumblr live. you'll have to do this every week, and we celebrate that on Snooze Tumblr Live Tuesday

we have lots of holidays: we have Out Of Touch Wednesday, Feliz Jueves, Kill A Cop With A Baseball Bat Monday, Get Lost In The Evil Forest Saturday, and Summon The Dark Lord To Bring About The Destruction Of The Earth Wednesday. some of these are real

don't go in the cave: don't go in the cave don't go in the cave don't go in the cave don't go in the cave don't go in the cave don't go in the cave don't go in the cave don't go in the cave

take lots of breaks: mental health is important. discourse is really stupid and dumb, and you can absolutely block whoever you want for any reason. be sure to log off if you feel tired or stressed

you have to be queer and a freak: this is the LGBT sjw website. to be accepted here, you need to act like a homosexual pervert. furries are really popular here. find a group of furries to be horny with. do it now!

most importantly, have fun: I never really used reddit much, but I know that it was like tumblr in that it was one of the social media sites that was most similar to the forums and message boards of yesteryear. as the internet is slowing being killed off by corporations and capitalism, it's important that we make the most of the small space we have left.

#dostxt #reddit #196 #new tumblr users #unreality #tw unreality

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uncsukuna · 3 months

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daycare worker? attendant?! nanami headcanons sorry this has actually been nibbling away at my brain... i'll shut up abt this au at some point. anyway, enjoy!

daycare attendant! nanami whose fingers always smell like citrus after lunch because kugisaki has randomly deemed him her orange peeler.

daycare attendant! nanami who roleplays with the kids as a chivalrous knight during tea time. he sneaks glances at you from his cramped spot in the tiny chair, a foam sword resting on his thighs. when your gaze meets his and he sees the small, amused smirk on your lips, he swears his heart skips a beat or two.

daycare attendant! nanami who packs extra snacks for the kids. he has an entire list in his notes app of their preferences and allergies.

daycare attendant! nanami who, during nap time, listens to r&b (sade, micheal jackson, beyonce, h.e.r., ms. lauryn hill) while attempting to finish up a book he started weeks ago.

daycare attendant! nanami who walks you to your car every evening once all the kids are gone, even if his car is parked on the other side of the parking lot.

daycare attendant! nanami who notices you eyeing one of the pastries he brought from a small bakery. that same pastry is on your desk when you unlock your classroom the next morning.

daycare attendant! nanami who genuinely enjoys doing word searches with the kids, even if they're so easy it takes him less than five minutes.

daycare attendant! nanami who looks up whenever one of the kids calls your name. you don't even have to be in the room, and he'll still do it, hazel eyes searching for your radiant presence.

daycare attendant! nanami whose desktop wallpaper is a picture of kuantan, malaysia. when you ask him about it, he explains the reason calmly as always, but you can see the twinkle in his eyes and the smile threatening to spread across his features.

daycare attendant! nanami who is picky as hell about candles. if it stinks or is overly strong, he won't spare it a second glance. that's not to say he doesn't enjoy unconventional smells, though.

daycare attendant! nanami who only enjoys talking to you. he's cordial enough to his other coworkers, but something about how you smile at him or gesture animatedly with your hands while you speak or visit him during lunch, ready to tell him a story about something silly the kids did... it makes him a little more excited to come to work every day.

divider creds: hitobaby hai!! i'm back again lolsies. i can't tell if attendant or worker is a better word, but i think imma just call it attendant instead. also, ik i said that he wouldnt go back to jujutsu sorcery but like imagine him spending a lil extra time before work to exorcise any curses that get too close to the daycare... its not realistic bc its against the silly rules of jujutsu society or wtv but idgaf!!! nanamin loves them kids (and maybe u idk)<3

#jjk #jjk fluff #jjk nanami #nanami headcanons #nanami kento #kento nanami #nanami fluff #nanami x reader #nanami x you #daycare attendant! nanami #kari's drabbles :3

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daegustae · 10 months

Text

champagne problems | jeon jungkook

pairing ; groom!jungkook x wedding planner!reader.

genre ; smut, angst | one-shot

summary ; the story we won’t tell is my greatest fantasy

word count ; 4.1k

chapter warnings ; infidelity, smut (18+), oral (f. receiving), bigdick!jungkook, multiple s3x positions, explicit language, creampie, unprotected s3x (yall know better), slight cockwarming, mentions of illness | plot twist at the end dont k!ll me pls

a/n ; this was inspired by champagne problems obv AND the apartment we won’t share by niki jhsdjds IDK I WAS JUST LISTENING TO IT AND THEN BAM HERE COMES THIS AU . this is not edited.

¯¨’*·~-.¸¸,.-~*’ •·.·´¯`·.·• `·.¸¸.·´´¯`··._.· •´`·..íì..·´`•

“Nothing?” Hobi shakes his head no, pouting as he watches the screen in front of him waiting for a miracle to happen. You look at the letters written on your wall Garam Event Management Studios. It was your dream to have a business like this. An organizer for different types of events. At first, your business was doing exceptional, always fully-booked, never having a free day but better than you’re experiencing right now. Dry and dull. You even had to let go of some of your employees considering that you won’t be able to pay them due to this crisis.

“We won’t last a month” you sigh your head in frustration, thinking about what went wrong in your business. You can’t help but be in denial, this crisis started when your father purposely embarrassed you at that one dinner party, claiming that your business will eventually close down so people shouldn’t bother to get your services. His reason? Because you refused to work at his company where you’ll be the next CEO. To be fair, you were tired of being ordered around and being an office slave.

But humiliating you that night was uncalled for. Especially everything that happened before that confrontation.

“We just have to boost our ads, we used to be in-demand.” used to.

“I’m sorry Hobi, this was because of me.” he frowns, looking at your slump figure on the couch.

“You have nothing to be sorry for” you look at him giving him a pout, suppressing the tears that are threatening to come out.

“Thank you for sticking with me” he nods standing up from his table as he makes his way to you giving you the tightest hug. You are honestly thankful of Hobi, he’s your best friend and out of all people he was the first one to support you with your business, even dropping his corporate job to join you as a full time event coordinator.

“We’ll be fine, it's winter season, who wants a wedding during winter?” you laugh giving him a smack on his head before a ding sound comes out of his computer. You both pull out of the hug looking at each other with wide eyes, scrambling on the couch to stand up and read the letters on his screen.

“We got an appointment” you both scream jumping in excitement.

“We got this” you nod, doing your celebratory handshake before dashing to your own table, ready to contact the services you will need. Hobi focuses on the person who’s making an appointment.

Hobi sighs, you look at him puzzled, reading his face who’s hard to determine at this very moment. You look at him raising your eyebrows as your smile fades. “We got an appointment but it’s your choice if you want it or not.”

“Of course I want it! We can’t choose our customers, we're in a crisis.” you say matter of factly.

“Even if it’s your ex’s wedding?” he says slowly, waiting for your reaction.

“Of course, this is business, nothing personal.” you clear your throat, biting your tongue and proceeding to scroll through your desktop.

“Are you sure? Because I’m pretty sure there will be more cus-”

“Hobi, it’s fine. Plus this is good for our business, we’ll get exposure and such.” you give him a reassuring smile. It’s not time to be selfish. It’s been 9 months since that dinner party, you’re pretty sure everyone has moved on from it already, and yet you still remember the atmosphere that day.

“It’s his fiance that booked the appointment, by the way.” fiance you shouldn’t feel bitter hearing that, but somehow there’s a small part of you that aches for the future you planned, aches for him. “She said she chose us because she was a guest to this wedding once, and fell in love with us” Hobi chuckles “And the wedding’s in three days” he adds

“What?” that’s a small amount of time to prepare.

“And she can’t find anyone else to do it because it’s too little time” you sigh you either accept this or you’ll close down this business.

“We have to make this work Hobi, this is our last shot.” you say truthfully he nods looking at you with concern.

“Let's do this yeah?”

“Stop fiddling with your pants Hobi” you scold giving him a scowl as you watch him straighten up on his seat. You’re currently in your studio, waiting for your clients to discuss what they want for the wedding.

“I can’t help it, it’s been too long since we last saw him” you nod agreeing, smacking his hands that continue to fiddle with everything he touches.

“Are you the ex?” you whisper-yell wincing as you feel your head throbbing. Hobi looks at you with concern before you shrug him off.

“Funny” you laugh as he rolls his eyes, freezing as the door inside your office opens. Revealing a beautiful woman, and a familiar figure following him. Way too familiar.

“Our couple! Future Mrs. Jeon?” Hobi greets her and nods, giving you both a genuine smile. You stand up from your seat, reaching out to shake her hand in which she excitedly accepts before extending your hand to the man beside her.

“Jungkook” you greet

“y/n” he reaches out for your hand, his warmth engulfing your whole body.

“You know each other?” she gushes

“She was a friend” Jungkook says a friend you nod in agreement. Sitting on the chair and preparing the papers you will need.

“That’s good then! You both can talk about the wedding for tomorrow no? I have to prepare for my dress-fitting and such.” You look at Hobi asking for help in which he understands, changing the subject.

“Let’s talk about that later, okay so here’s the initial plan we prepared for you both based on what we talked about yesterday . You can choose which you prefer, and you can also change anything, just tell us and we’ll continue from there.” they both nod, you can’t help but feel the burning glaze of Jungkook, you look at him, your eyes meeting each other as Hobi proceeds to explain everything.

It’s been so long since you last saw him, nothing changed. He still has the same doe eyes, lip ring, and that mole on his neck. Nothing changed except his heart. You look away, nodding at whatever Hobi’s saying, this is gonna be a long day.

“Well we’ll see you on your wedding day?” You tell Hana she nods giving you her bright smile, no wonder he fell in love with her. Her smile is contagious and she seems really kind. You’re happy for both of them.

“Yes! I’m trusting everything to you, for the rest of the plans you can meet up with my husband. I’m really sorry I won’t be there”

“Of course, and no it’s fine. Just rest before your wedding day”

“I’ll see you guys soon” she says excitedly giving you and Hobi a hug, Jungkook waving his hands to the both of you as they walk outside.

You sigh in relief, closing your eyes as you lean your head on the table. Feeling yourself getting drowsy.

“You okay?”

“Mmm just nauseous”

“I still think you need to tell him the reason you know” you look up at Hobi, frowning at him.

“Doesn’t matter anymore, his wedding is in two days” You stand up kneeling in front of Hobi who has his head low.

“Still it’s unfair” you shake your head laughing lightly, he looks like a child right now

“Some things are better left unsaid, I’m okay really. And I chose this path, remember?” you can’t help but feel your heart swells, it’s good to know that someone still cares about you.

“I have to talk to our techs, and be on the reception to check the updated stuff tomorrow” you bite your lip, that means it’s just going to be you and Jungkook tomorrow. “Will you be okay alone?”

“Of course! Just business, nothing personal". Clapping your hands feels like you're convincing yourself more than hobi, ruffling Hobi’s hair as you stand up checking the needed items for the wedding so you can present it to Jungkook tomorrow.

“And we have this voice message thing booth, where your guests can leave their wishes through this analog phone which is perfect for your wedding theme.” You’re currently at your office as you explain to Jungkook, he listens to you intently, watching in awe as you present him with all the details for his wedding.

“That’s beautiful, you’re good at this” you chuckle with his compliment shaking your head as you list a few things on the paper.

“Thank you, you convinced me to do it” you smile at the memory, you’ve always wanted a job like this, designing and organizing things. At first you were hesitant about it, but when you told Jungkook what you really wanted, he was there to support and encourage you all the way. He even helped you in naming your studio, suggesting Garam which means river. And with a river, you can’t touch the same water twice, it keeps flowing, reminding us that life is fleeting and we should value every second of it. Which by the way is connected with your job, helping every client to remember and enjoy their special day that will pass by eventually.

“I’m glad you still continue” he states as you look at him in the eyes nodding. “I’m sorry”

“For what” you stand up, compiling all the papers as Jungkook watches you leave your seat.

“My fiance is a huge fan of yours, she really wanted you to be our coordinator” you stop at your tracks looking at Jungkook as you shrug.

“I’m thankful for that Kook, nothing to be sorry for” his heart skips a beat, the nickname you gave him to him before feels like a knife jabbing through his chest. He shouldn’t feel this way.

“I waited for you, you know” you take a deep breath, watching Jungkook make his way to where you are standing.

“I’m sorry” you tell him sincerely “I’m just glad you found what you deserve” he nods taking a step forward, reaching out as he puts his hands on your hips. Leaning your forehead to his.

“What are you doing?” you know this is wrong, but you didn’t fight back, feeling the familiar warmth pulse through your whole body. “We shouldn't” you whisper to his lips.

“We shouldn’t” he repeats before he’s pulling away from you. You watch him clear his throat nodding his head as he makes his way to the door. You didn’t dare to look at him turning your back away from him waiting for the sound of your door opening and closing.

You gasp as you feel your body getting spinned. Before you know it, Jungkook’s lips are on yours. Kissing each other like there’s no tomorrow, pulling away to catch your breath only to put your lips on his again. His lips taste like poison, it burns you. Your hands wander each other’s bodies, exploring and holding each other like there’s no tomorrow. Because there isn’t.

You find yourself on fours on the couch with Jungkook, moaning as you feel him lick your pussy, eating you out with no mercy. “F-fuck”

“Are you still on the pill?” he asks from behind you, you nod watching his dick slap his stomach. “Good”

You feel his length enter inside you, both of you moaning in unison as he penetrates your walls. You clench your jaw at the foreign feeling. It’s been so long since he’s been inside you, you forgot how big and long he is.

“So tight princess, relax” he soothes you by kissing your neck to your shoulders. Tracing your spine as you arch your back. He starts thrusting inside, holding on to your hips for leverage. He feels your walls tighten, as he hits the spot he has always known.

“P-please” you have no idea what you’re begging for, but Jungkook knows you. He pounds inside you leaning his body on yours as you feel his weight on your back, only adding to the pleasure.

“You close?” you cry in pleasure, Jungkook lifts your body as he sits up without pulling out of you, making you put all your weight on his chest.

“Spread your legs” you do as he says, spreading your legs as he continues to thrusts inside you, this position sending you into a frenzy. You can’t help but look down, watching your pussy swallow him deliciously. He growls as you bounce, meeting his hips to get you there.

“I’m cumming” your legs shake as Jungkook repeatedly hits your spot. Putting all your weight on him this time as he massages your breast with his left hand, the other rubbing your pussy. You feel his breath on your shoulder, tilting your head on the side to chase his lips. Your pussy clenches as you feel your orgasm, breathing heavily with Jungkook’s cock still inside you.

“Good girl” he praises, he lays your body on the couch, watching you in your pleasure state, before he’s spreading your legs again. Lining up his length to show you deep he’s gonna be inside you. He spread your remains on his dick, rubbing it before slapping his dick on your sensitive pussy.

You wince making him chuckle. “Take all of me yeah?”

He inserts his throbbing length inside you once again, but this time slower. And intimate. Watching your face turns into pleasure as he brushes the hair on your face with his fingers. He takes his time this time, thrusting inside you slowly, but harder.

You look at his face, rubbing your thumb on his eyebrow as it furrows. You don’t say anything to each other, just feeling each other’s warmth. He kisses your lips delicately, holding your body close to his. You put your arms on his shoulder to his back, nails scratching softly that will be there until tomorrow.

“Almost there” he whispers, you can’t help but bite his shoulder feeling yourself release again. He kisses your forehead, his thrust becoming erratic until he’s cumming inside you. You both quiver with pleasure.He didn’t pull out after that, laying on your body instead. His head on your shoulder as you both breathe heavily.

You gently run your fingers to his hair, you feel him sighs in contentment as you feel your tears flow on your cheek feeling the coldness of his ring on your skin. Even if Jungkook notices your tears, he doesn't say anything, only holding you tighter. You stay just like that, holding and feeling the warmth of each other. Because maybe you both know that this will be the last time you’ll see each other. You both know the consequences and you’ll both suffer from it. Greatly.

You both know this is goodbye.

It isn’t long before you're both putting your clothes back on, without words. Before you’re clearing your throat. Shame and guilt both eating you alive already.

“Let’s pretend this didn’t happen”

“Like how you pretended I didn’t propose to you that night?” he says sarcastically, you can feel the bitterness of his words. You stand frozen. Not knowing what to say. Getting a flashback of that night.

“Can you at least tell me the reason? I deserve that”

“It was for all of this, you know that.” the lie sits like a venom on your tongue

“Do you really expect me to believe that?” you’re now both facing each other. His eyes meet your glistening ones.

“I’m not telling you to accept that, but that’s the truth, nothing else.”

“You could’ve just told me you wanted this career so bad, I wouldn’t have made you choose. I would have supported you.” you can feel the pain lacing his voice, and you can’t help but let your tears run down your cheeks.

“I know” you sob, Jungkook wants to hold you, but he stops himself from doing so. 9 months and you’re both still a mess. Maybe this was the closure you needed, but not the closure he wanted. He thinks about all the things you could’ve been if you only told him the truth. He can’t help but be offended, you really thought he won’t support you with what you wanted? All those years together and yet you thought so little of him.

“I didn’t want to hurt you.”

“You already did” he pauses, shaking his head, chuckling as he finds himself crying as well “The moment you started thinking I would stop you from chasing your dreams” he adds im sorry im sorry. You know no words will ever heal him from the pain you’ve caused. So you shut your mouth watching him leave before stopping to his tracks. Looking back at you one last time.

“Do you regret it? Leaving me?” he asks genuinely. Jungkook needs to hear it from you, so he can move on and stop living with the what if’s. He needs to hear it so he can wake up tomorrow without doubts about his future.

“No” you say without hesitating, staring at his eyes so you can deliver your point.

“Okay” he nods, shutting the door behind him as you fall down on your knees. Clutching your chest as you feel it aches.

“I’m sorry” the doctor looks at you with pity. You nod not knowing how to react.

“How long do I have?”

“12 months based on the size of tumor in your brain” you look at his eyes, hoping that he would be lying and this is a joke. But his eyes have no hint as such. “There’s a treatment but it’s not guaranteed you will live.” so it’s either you die slowly with the treatment or still die without it, except you’ll live shorter. Which is worse?

You chuckle weakly, so many thoughts running in your mind, how could this be? Why does it have to be you? What will happen to those who you will leave behind?

Jungkook. If you tell him your illness, he would stay and be there for you. But you can’t let him witness you die slowly and suffer for the rest of his life. It will be too selfish for you to deny him the bright future he deserves. You can’t scar him and leave a painful permanent mark.

You’d rather him hate you than suffer loving you.

That night you and Jungkook were invited to a dinner party, and you were planning on breaking up with him for whatever reason you come up with. The guilt eating you alive as he intertwined his finger with yours. Constantly kissing your temples.

That same night, he was on his knees, asking for your hand around your family, friends and colleagues. You dreamt of this day, and you would have said yes if it weren’t for the news you received that morning. You remember the atmosphere that night, it was heavy. Too heavy that you feel like falling down to your knees. But most of all, you remember the confusion and pain written on Jungkook’s face that night, watching you shake your head and run away from the scene.

That very night, your father talks about the business you were starting. Slandering it so the attention won’t be with the failed proposal but your failure as his daughter who refused to take over the company. Your father did all that to save himself from embarrassment. That very night, you lost the remaining care your father had for you.

That night, you lost your bestfriend, your anchor, the love of your life.

That night, your world crumbled down into pieces.

You look around your office, tracing pictures of past events you had on the wall. You started this career because you wanted it, and you had Jungkook’s support. You still continue to do it because it gives you the comfort to plan for other’s future that you won’t have and experience in this lifetime.

“Don’t be nervous, just enjoy this moment.” you tell Hana, patting her on the shoulder as she nods. She’s the most beautiful bride you’ve ever met. The kindest too. She engulfs you into a hug and squeezes your body.

“Thank you for everything.” you can’t help but feel guilty, she trusted you. And you fucked his fiance the day before your wedding. And you know karma has bitten you in the ass once you're 6 ft underground.

“I’m sorry” you whisper sincerely, rubbing her back. As if she would know what you did. she gasps, pulling away from the hug before she’s pinching your sides.

“Everything is beautiful, what are you sorry for.” she giggles. Your conversation has died down when the door opens revealing Hobi in a suit.

“Ladies, we’re about to start” he announces, the bridesmaids stand up, shuffling to their feet as they get out of the room to prepare. “y/n, check on our groom one last time please” you gulp doing as he says. Hobi doesn’t know what happened between you and Jungkook yesterday, and you don’t want him to know. Not today, at least.

“Let me fix that for you” you tell from the doorway, watching Jungkook jump in surprise as he tries to fix his tie.

“Please” you give each other a small smile, so many words left unsaid. And that’s for the better.

“I love her y/n.” He says suddenly, you stop fixing his tie for a moment, good before continuing your actions.

“I know, don’t worry I won’t tell. We’ll pretend it never happened.” you pat his shoulder, distancing from him.

“I really love her, she’s helped me get back up after everything. I will tell her about what happened last night, someday. I don’t want to lose her, I can’t.” you nod understandingly, knowing he’s telling the truth because he used to talk about you like that before.

“I’m happy for you Jungkook” you tell him honestly, this is what you’ve always wanted. At first, you thought you would feel jealousy and pain when you accepted this event. But now, you only feel happiness for the both of them, not even a small part of you feels bitter about this. Just genuine joy and pure contentment knowing Jungkook’s in good hands.

“Thank you.” You both sniff, laughing as you witness each other be a mess. Crying of joy this time.

“Jungkook you’re ruining your makeup”

“Stop making me cry then.”

“I will.”

- The huge doors open, revealing Jungkook waiting at the altar and for a moment you had a glance of the future that you could have had. You wait for the bride to get to the end of the hall before making your way to Hobi who’s busy ordering the staff.

“Hey”

“Hey, you look pale.”

“I’m sick, remember” you say matter-of-factly. Hobi only scowls at you. “Think you can handle everything else here?”

“Of course, is there something wrong?”

“Just tired” he observes your face, before nodding in understandment. Lately, you’ve been experiencing the symptoms, at first it was gradual but you feel it progress every day. One symptom at time, then all of it sometimes.

“You need help? I can drive you home” you smack his arm scolding him.

“They need an expert to stay here. Thank you Hobi” you both share your handshakes, giggling as you wave goodbye. Making one last stop before leaving, you find yourself in front of the voicemail booth. Picking up the phone with the label groom.

“Hey Kook, um, it’s me y/n” You take a deep breath, suddenly feeling awkward talking on the phone with no one on the other line.

“I just wanna say I’m happy that you found love because you’re a wonderful being, and you deserve nothing but happiness and more. I know you will be a great husband, and a loving father because I learned how to love unconditionally from you and I will always be grateful for that. You asked me before if I regret leaving you. Honestly, I don’t don’t regret any of it. I guess the only regret I have is making you wait longer when you could have had all of this sooner. Thank you for everything and I hope you can forgive me someday.”

Here’s to the future

#jjk angst #bts fanfic #jungkook au #jungkook fic #jungkook smut #jjk smut #Smut #jungkook x oc #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader #jjk x reader #bts #bts imagines #jjk imagines #jungkook angst #jungkook scenarios

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deja-yu · 6 months

Text

Co-workers - Choi San Chapter 1/3

Genre: Fluff (for now :])

2.7K

Synopsis: San quickly becomes your work bestie but neither of you want to end up as 'just friends' -> Ch 2

Your steps feel heavy as you follow your new manager down past a couple rows of desks before she stops and points at an empty desk at the end of a row. Window on the right and 4 more desks to the left, exchanging awkward hell’s with the people on your row and the one that sat on the other side of the row. Once at your desk your manager told you to settle while she went to fetch you some documents. A deep sigh leaves you and you hear someone chuckle in front of you. Leaning towards the window to look past your desktop you meet the eyes of a man your age who is doing the same. Resting his head on his hand with a grin, “First day’s are always rough huh?” you nod and he perks up, reaching his hand over in the gap for you to shake. “I’m San, I started here two weeks ago. At least now I am not the only newbie" he says it in a teasing tone but the smile he sends you helps take some of the weight from your shoulders. The return of your manager makes you wave him a little goodbye which makes him laugh, trying to ignore the embarrassment from not having said a single word to him in return you try to focus on the manager info dumping your new tasks.

You spend the next two weeks trying to find your way around the office, and your co-workers. Everyone was nice enough but they didn’t seem too bothered about the steep prices of the restaurants around the building, whereas you went back to eating home packed lunches after joining them for lunch once. Wondering if they were really making that much more money or just insane to pay 20 for a glorified salad. That is however why you and San started eating lunch together, who had previously been eating alone. You spot him when you enter the cafeteria of the building. It was shared between all departments so it was a bit more populated. Having already accepted to sit alone and on your phone, you were surprised when you spotted San. Equally alone on his phone in an empty corner. You took a deep breath and walked over. “Hi, is it okay if I sit with you?” he glances from his phone with surprised eyes, “Oh! Newbie. Yes of course” grinning as he waves to the seat across from him, “the expensive lunches not your thing?” you snort “you and me both I assume” he chuckles in response and confirms with a nod. “So what did you bring?” putting his phone down to give you his full attention. Cheeks heating up as you pull out last night's left-overs. "It looked better last night I swear” defending yourself preemptively he chuckles “Didn’t say nothin”. As your cheeks seem to flush even more, a small smirk tugs at his lips before he pulls his lunch box and shows you his own meal, left overs from last night.

“San?” you whisper while leaning over towards his desk, he pokes his head to the side with a smile. “Yes?” you give him your best puppy eyes, “Can you get my stuff from the printer?”. Smile quickly turning into a glare he sighs, “Is he still trying to get a date with you?” you pout and nod. Another sigh before he gets up and you watch him pass Ben’s desk, the latter's head pops up and quickly starts a conversation with San. You giggle when San sends you a glare. As he returns you send him a big smile, “thank you, thank you” you tell him as he hands you the documents over the desktops before sitting down. With a smile you retrieve a candy from your bag and put it on San’s desk, rolling it over and he grabs it just before it rolls off the desk. Smiling to yourself before going back to work. San’s smile was a little bigger as he enjoyed the sweet taste of the candy, but that wasn’t the main reason for his smile.

It was only you and San left in the office, being assigned to a project together. It was your second month with the company now but besides San you haven’t really made friends with other co-workers. Ben wants to hang out, but you don’t want to hang out with Ben. You were going through documents together on San’s computer but your brain was fried. San bumps into your shoulder, “what?” you question. He chuckles, his eyes scrunching as he smiles. Finding you adorable enough to ignore how he had been working solo for the last half hour. “Do you want to call it quits? I can finish on my own?” straightening up you shake your head. “No, no I am here. Sorry, what do we still need to do?” His smile is still bright enough even this late into the day to bring some energy back to your body. San points out some items that need improvement before you can send it in, working together you manage to finish the document within another hour.

In the elevator down you check the bus times before sighing, the buses no longer running as much this late in the evening, the next one coming in 45 minutes. “You need a ride? My flatmate is picking me up, they won’t mind dropping you off” you consider it for a second, but just as you are about to reject not wanting to be an inconvenience, San cuts you off “It might start raining again” he smiles at the way your mouth closes as you rethink the offer for a moment, “Alright, but only if your friend agrees” “he will” San persists.

The two of you are waiting for about 3 minutes but you shiver from the cold breeze, summer slowly coming to an end. Without a word San drapes his blazer over your shoulders, it blocks out the cold air, an instant relief, your tense shoulder dropping making him smile. “Better?” you nod and thank him, you put your hands through the armholes to wear it properly, wrapping the blazer tighter around yourself. You could smell his perfume and you get lost in thought, earlier tonight as you leaned in close the same smell greeted you. You wondered how he managed to still smell so nice after such a long day. A car pulls up with a honk and San waves, “That’s them” you follow his steps. The window is rolling down in the meantime and a guy around yours and Sans age pokes his head out. “OHHHH!! Is that the famous Y/N?!” His hair is half blonde, half black like an oreo. And you can’t help but laugh when San starts whacking him through the window. The driver easily dodges and rolls the window back up till San retreats his hands, “Open my car Wooyoung”. You watch Wooyoung stick his tongue out before he looks at you, “You should let them get in first!! Where are your manners? After talking about them so much”. San seems to give up with a sigh and steps aside so you come a bit closer and greet oreo boy. “San said you wouldn’t mind dropping me off but I can still take the bus if it’s an issue” the boy immediately protests with many no’s and tells you to get in the car. The loud click letting you know he unlocked the doors. You go to open the backdoor, “What are you doing? Sit next to me, am I scary?” you get taken aback, “oh! No, I just thought San would sit in the front” Wooyoung scoffs, “Don’t worry about him”. You look at San who lets out another sigh, you silently ask him for permission and he gives you a pouty face when he notices, “We won’t get home if we go against him, he is very persistent”.

Wooyoung is tapping the steering wheel excitingly while San opens the passenger door for you. Getting into the seat you spot another guy in the back who gives you an awkward wave. San has barely closed the door behind you before Wooyoung excitingly leans close “That’s Yeosang, but tell me Y/N. Has our Sannie been treating you well?” you giggle but tell him yes, fortunately so. Hearing the back door close you go to buckle up “Just bring them home Wooyoung, they’re tired… I’m tired” San says while sticking his face between the front seats. “Alright, alright! Here but in your address” Wooyoung hands you his phone and bickers with San while you put in your address. You snort at the back and forth between the two, when you hand Wooyoung back his phone he immediately turns his full attention back to you. “Why are you here?” San asks Yeosang, “He promised me mcdonalds” Another question asking as to why he is in the backseat and not the front, “Because I always sit in the back”.

Wooyoung waits all but 2 minutes (the time he needed to merge back into traffic) before asking you questions again. San told me you were new in town, San told me you like going on hikes, San told me about Ben, are you into Ben? You face scrunches in disgust making wooyoung chuckle as he catches it in the corner of his eye. “No, he is a little too weird for me. He has asked me out I think like six times by now” now Wooyoung's face scrunches in disgust. “Do you have a partner?” you shake your head “Just tell him you do have a partner” you sigh “I did! After the third confession”. San grumbles in the backseat, “You told me he stopped asking after that” you turn in your seat to look at him pouting. “Well, I just started to get good at avoiding him, but when you called in sick last week he asked me out on both days when I had to go to the printer myself” He rolls his eyes. “Just say you’re dating San” Yeosang jumps in, causing there to be a small pause in the car before Wooyoung starts laughing. San tells him to shut up and gives him a small shove, Yeosang seems offended but you turn back to the road with red cheeks. “Why not? Is he not your type?” Wooyoung jokes, “If not, I am single and ready to pick you up tomorrow” San snorts behind him “In my car?” Wooyoung ignores his friend. “San told me you guys live together?” Wooyoung chuckles at your quick attempt to change subject but lets you, talking about how he and Yeosang met in college doing the same program, they met San later when they all ended up getting hired at the same domino’s. “Oh so pizza nights at your place must be great” they all laugh, “We got fired after a month” Yeosang says before giggling. “Only because the kitchen caught fire” Wooyoung says, which makes your eyebrows shoot up, he notices and laughs trying to backtrack. “It wasn’t our fault!! It was a really disgusting place and we didn’t even cause the fire. They just blamed it on us because it happened after we closed”, “I think it was the rats” San adds from the backseat making you laugh.

“Let me walk you to the door” San says as he gets out with you, making you turn from saying your goodbyes to the other two with a small jump. “Oh no… It’s alright” But he doesn’t budge just giving you a smile, you’ve gotten to know him well enough while working with him that this is his ‘You better do what I say’ smile. Rolling your eyes you shut the door and start walking towards the building in front of you. “You’re really annoying sometimes you know that” he chuckles, “Just want to make sure you get in safe”. Which is just great, it’s not like you lied to the car of strange men to take you to a building 2 streets from yours. Panic building as you get closer and closer you don’t even hear what San is asking till he tugs you to a halt by grabbing your wrist. “You okay?” glancing between him and the door you unconsciously bite your lip. But you see the elevator door open in the lobby, brushing San off you give him a big smile “I’ll see you tomorrow!” rushing to enter after the person exits the building. Alright, now you just get in the elevator and take the stairs back down. Too caught up in the stress of playing off lying to your work bestie you don’t look back to see San laughing, hand coming to cover his mouth before he turns back. You also miss how Yeosang jogs up to him while holding your phone.

By the time you make it down the stairs from the third floor you freeze, San outside going over the names on the mailboxes. “What are you doing?” it comes out harsh and it makes him straighten up stuttering while his cheeks redden. “You… you forgot your phone” your face relaxing as an oh slips from you followed with an apology. San is rubbing his neck “It’s alright, I couldn’t call you” motioning towards your phone as explanation “and you didn’t tell me what number you lived on so this was the fastest way… but I kinda look like a stalker” he breathes out with a laugh. Embarrassed by the situation he lowers his head but soon enough realisation dawns on him and his head lifts with a questioning look, “but why did you come back down? Did you notice it was missing?” pausing you feel your face heat up, avoiding his eyes before you murmur out your answer. “Sorry what?” you glance at him quickly before looking away again “This isn’t my building” San looks up at the building “oh”. Wanting to disappear you groan “I just… It’s a habit when I don’t know the person” clutching his heart he lets out a small ouch. “No! Like it’s just with taxis and stuff… It’s not like we’re..” he cuts you off with a laugh. Embarrassment floods your veins and you cover your face with a sigh. “Hey! No worries. I tell my sister to do the same. I’ll just assume with people you don’t know you meant those two dipshits” a chuckle comes from you and it makes him smile, but you're still covering your face so he covers your hands with his to pull them from your face. Heart doing a somersault when your eyes meet his which crinkle as he smiles. He lets go of your hands but you grab back onto one of them “You want to walk me home?” his smile turns into a grin as he nods. Walking past the car Wooyoung is hanging out the window “What the hell are you two doing?” you jump a little, too caught up to remember they were waiting. As a result you try to remove your hand from Sans but he squeezes your hand slightly before loosening his grip, giving you a questioning look. You stare into his eyes a moment before tugging your hand away again, this time he lets you but his smile does seem to drop slightly. He hides it by turning back to Wooyoung “You drove to the wrong street! I will be right back” you can hear Wooyoung complain about how he didn’t but San just waves him off.

“So… you sure this is the right building?” he teases while you search for your keys in your bag. “Ha ha ha yes this is the right one” sending him a glare as you finally fish out your keys. “You will be at the company outing tomorrow right?” As you ask him you give him puppy eyes in case his answer is no. “Oh yea, it’s not really optional. But don’t worry it’s dinner and by the time you’ve finished your plate everyone will be too drunk to notice if you leave” watching his shoulder tense a little the dread you’ve had about this twist a tad tighter. “I need to get back to the car” right, his friends were waiting. “Sorry for tonight… thanks again for everything” ensuring it was no problem he finishes his goodbye with a small wink “I will see you tomorrow evening”. It’s not till you're in the elevator with red cheeks that you notice his blazer still keeping you warm.

#ateez fanfic #ateez x reader #ateez fluff #ateez imagines #choi san x reader #san x reader #ateez #ateez x y/n #san x y/n #san fluff #i have 3 things i am working on an i am stuck on all of them including this <3

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two-white-butterflies · 10 months

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emma falls in love | aem. targaryen

Description: You are the biggest swiftie in world. After finding out that Taylor's having a show in town - you line up immediately. Minor problem - your enemy is the only person to secure tickets and he has one condition. Date him.

Author's Note: Got the idea from @ilikeitbetterangsty thank you for letting me have this 😭

You had a certain pull in your body - a magnetic force that lured any person deeper, until they are forced to be your friend. Aemond was the only one immune to your charms - he found you too annoying for his liking. "Did you get tickets?" Rhaena peeked over your shoulder.

"I'm 10,293 in line." you stared back at her, already feeling the migraine begin to form at the back of your mind. "How about you?" you turned to look at the twins. Baela was the first to close her laptop loudly. "No email." she responded with a sigh. "Same with me," Rhaena agreed, moving closer to your side of the bed.

You were their only hope now.

"Helaena got ones in advance," Baela groaned - closing her phone and throwing it across the room. "How?" Rhaena's eyebrows merged into each other. "Daddy's connections," she rolled her eyes - heck, the only reason they didn't use Daemon to secure tickets was because he played John Mayer one Sunday afternoon.

"Unfair," you sighed, eyes widening because the internet connection began to fade away. "What's going on?" Baela moved towards your desktop - tapping the CPU in an aggressive attempt to make the internet work. "Gently. Shit. I forgot to pay for wifi," you scratched the back of your neck - feeling the frustration begin to pool.

"Come on, bitch." Baela pretended to die slowly. Taylor was all of your lifelines. "Looks like we're not going to the tour. Unless, we convince Mr. Targaryen to buy us some from the scalpers." you suggested, knowing that the girls' dad was loaded.

Daemon Targaryen basically owned half of Dragonview - the other half belonged to his equally chivalrous brother, Viserys Targaryen. It was going to be a piece of cake - the twins just had to swallow their pride in order to enjoy a better concert.

"Nah, I had a full blown debate with him the other day. I'm not paying for the concert using his dirty John Mayer scented money." Baela raised her arms in mock surrender. There were other means to attend the concert - one of them included sleeping with someone.

"Don't worry girls, we'll find a way." you smiled.

"I know someone who got tickets," Jacaerys sat beside you in the bleachers, his hoodie was raised - covering half of his face while he gobbled down the sandwiches that his mom made him. "Who?" you were quick to inquire - seeing that you were desperate to see Taylor's shadow. Fuck, you'd pay a lot of money to even see a strand of her hair at this point. "You won't like it," he grinned.

There was a lot of tension between his mother and his step-grandmother. They'd always give each other the cold shoulder when it came to family reunions. Surprisingly, the kids got together well. Jacaerys and Aemond were the closest. "You wouldn't be telling me unless I have an actual chance to get the tickets," you crossed your arms - glaring at him.

"Aemond. Has. Tickets." he enunciated ever word, before taking a bite of his sandwich. "Son of a bitch!" you cursed - and he began to laugh. "Okay but - he told me that he bought twelve tickets and he has 9 available ones." he shrugged, seeing the way your eyes began to glimmer with lust.

Lust over concert tickets.

"Thank you. I will get those tickets." you stood up, bolting to the direction of the school building - leaving your lunch on the chair. Your mom was going to kill you for leaving the tupperware - but it was going to be worth it. Anything for you Taylor Swift.

God, you hated the way Taylor made you do things.

After finding out that Aemond had tickets to see the concert, you decided to sit beside him during Chemistry. "Are you a big fan of Taylor?" you leaned in his direction, shoulders brushing with his. "What?" his eyebrows merged into each other, not bothering to turn to your direction - but listening to everything you say.

"Jace told me that you got tickets." you repeated.

That was the moment he turned to look at you - his smirk deepened seeing those wide eyes of yours - anticipating his every move. "Yep," he popped the 'p' in the word. What would you do for a ticket?

"Can I buy some?" you asked in a low whisper - praying that Sir Criston wouldn't catch you chatting with his favorite student. "They're not for sale, pumpkin." he snorted - amused by how desperate you were. Oh, all those tickets were for close friends only.

"Come on, I'll do anything." you moved closer to his body - close enough to the point that your lips were almost nibbling his ear. "Anything is a very tricky word," he rolled his eyes, writing down notes in his notebook. "- you shouldn't use it." he warned.

A silent groan escapes your mouth.

"But I really mean it!" your voice raised by a decibel. The bell began to rang - signaling the end of the class. He stared deep into your eyes - gaze trailing back and forth between your lips and your orbs. He bites his lower lip. Plan in mind. "I'll think about it - meet me in the yogurt shop, after school." he smirked - before walking away.

6 PM, standing alone in a yogurt shop.

"There's no such thing as fashionably late," you rolled your eyes - feeling his figure sit down beside you. "Apologies," he muttered sarcastically - settling a yogurt ice cream beside you. Chocolate.

"So, why did we have to meet here?" you inquired, left hand in your pocket and playing with the wad of cash that you assumed he'd ask for. "I wanted you to be prepared." he answered cryptically.

"Name your price." you turned to look at him.

"It doesn't have a price." he responded with a stoic face. "I need your help - and if you agree with me. I'll promise to give you three tickets." he held up three fingers to enunciate his proposal. "What is it?" your eyes narrowed - hopefully nothing too tough.

"Be my girlfriend for three days."

"Even during the concert?"

"Yes."

BAELA TARGARYEN, RHAENA TARGARYEN, Y/N L/N | MAIN GC | THE REAL ONES | NO BITCHES RAHH |

Y/N L/N I'm gonna regret this but I got the tickets 💀

BAELA TARGARYEN How much did he ask for? I'll venmo u

Y/N L/N He didn't make me pay but he's asking something from me...

RHAENA TARGARYEN what...? like sell ur soul kinda thing he always kinda look witchy ngl BAELA TARGARYEN LMAO 😭

Y/N L/N He asked me to be his gf for 3 days 💀😭 pray for me sisters

RHAENA TARGARYEN who would've thought that mr. meanie had these feelings for you heheheheeheheh 😛 BAELA TARGARYEN This is some wattpad shit prayer reveal sis 🛐 RHAENA TARGARYEN But you agreed tho?

Y/N L/N hell yeah! those were taylor ticketz

BAELA TARGARYEN Mood RHAENA TARGARYEN respect sis 🫡 but we will venmo u $490 each 😭

seen by you and, baela targaryen...

(DAY ONE - PDA)

Your mother always told you the first day of a relationship was always going to be amazing. Normally, the couples want each other to believe that they are free of sins - perfect without any flaw. But that's not real - relationships cannot be perfect - but she didn't warn you about fake relationships? Why would someone make an effort on something that wasn't real?

"Good morning ma'am," Aemond smiled at your mother, helping her carry your lunch inside his car. "Who is this young man?" your mother's eyes narrowed, eyes trailing back and forth between you and Aemond. "He's a friend," you answered - glaring at him.

You were only supposed to date for three days - but the damage that he wanted to make was going to last longer than that. "Alright, I best not keep the both of you waiting - you'll be late for class again." your mother sighed, eyes twinkling as she sees Aemond open the door for you. "Thank you," you mumbled - he placed a hand on top of your head - making sure that your head wouldn't bump the roof of the car.

"I'll bring her home at six, ma'am." he smiled, walking around to the driver's door. A sigh escapes your mouth. Fuck him.

---

You weren't completely oblivious to Aemond's reputation. You were aware that everyone had a crush on him - the juniors wouldn't stop talking about how 'hot' he was. And honestly, you didn't get the hype.

"It's not nice to eat alone," he landed his ass on the chair parallel yours. "I'm not alone, my friends are ten minutes away." you responded - already feeling everyone's gazes fixed upon you. "-but they're not here." he smirked, taking a bite of his sushi.

"Well the point is, I'm not alone." you scoffed. "I have a question anyways." you stopped chewing for a second. Watching as his eyebrows merged into each other. His single pupil dilated. "What?" he inquired. He didn't expect you to ask any questions. "Why are you doing this?" you whispered.

Did he have no friends? Why did he have to pay someone to be his girlfriend? Why did he choose you? Why did he buy that many tickets? A lot of questions were pounding your head.

He bit his lower lip - smiling for a split second.

"Because I like you."

BAELA TARGARYEN, RHAENA TARGARYEN, Y/N L/N | MAIN GC | THE REAL ONES | NO BITCHES RAHH

Y/N L/N I asked him why he chose me and he said "bcs i like u" LIKE WTF???

RHAENA TARGARYEN Bruh y u blushing

Y/N L/N Bcs it was hella weird 😭 I thought he hated me

BAELA TARGARYEN Tbh everyone knows that he likes you (in our house) i think uncle vis knows ur name too 💀😭 RHAENA TARGARYEN That's real tho 100%

rhaena targaryen changed your nickname to 'mrs. aemond'

Y/N L/N Kill urself byee stopp

you changed rhaena targaryen's nickname to 'mrs. garmund'

Y/N L/N girl has a crush on her step-grandmother's nephew??

BAELA TARGARYEN Help me step-uncle, i'm stuck 🤤 RHAENA TARGARYEN Baela i thought you was on my side 😭

(DAY TWO - IT GETS REAL)

ISISAURUS (Y/N L/N) Did you really mean it?

DEVIL INCARNATE (AEMOND TARGARYEN) what do you mean?

ISISAURUS (Y/N L/N) That you like me

DEVIL INCARNATE (AEMOND TARGARYEN) don't you believe me?

Aemond smiled seeing your figure walk past him. It was free period - and all of the students were gathering on the school grounds. "Thank god for Taylor Swift," he mumbled to himself while adjusting his uniform. He knew that it was partly wrong to ask this from you - but he still would've given you the tickets if you denied.

Actually, he assumed that you'd deny. His gaze returns to the book on his lap. He could still remember the day he fell in love.

It was a chilly winter - just after the kids stopped going to school, but the parents still had work. Aemond was left inside a daycare, one that wasn't known for taking great care in their kids. He was frustrated. Five years old, and his parents still brought him to daycare? "Watch where you're going," a little girl rolls her eyes, shoving him away from her body.

"Excuse me?" he turned sassily. No one talks to a Targaryen that way.

"You're in my way," she crossed her arms, and he couldn't help the scoff that came out of his lips. "You can say it nicely, you know that?" he responded, never the one to back down from a fight.

"To be honest, I didn't expect anything from an Isisaurus lookalike." he chuckled to himself, and the pout on her lips began to deepen. "What's that?" she inquired and he scoffed one more time - mocking her slightly. "A dinosaur. You look like a dinosaur." he laughed.

Mayhaps the start of your friendship was a little shitty. But you grew into the closest of friends that Winter break. He even welcomed you inside his house for a playdate.

Until suddenly, he stops.

He stops seeing you, but he doesn't stop adoring and respecting you. To him - you're the kind of book that he can't put down.

He stops sending you letters - he stops attending the daycare. He stops existing in your world. And when the winter break ended, he barely acknowledged you in school. A sign escapes his mouth - unable to focus on the book at hand. He felt bad for ignoring you - he assumed that you'd hate him after he lost his eye. The other kids at school bullied him anyways.

The friendship that you treasured and built for a few weeks, came crumbling down and the both of you turned into enemies.

"There's a difference between reading and staring at the words." you hummed, sitting beside him and opening your ice cream bar. "I don't think that you know how to read," he teased, still staring at the book.

"Whatever - I need your help for something." you smiled, thinking that it was best not to get on his nerves. "What?" he asked.

"I need your help getting into a restaurant."

---

A chuckle escapes his mouth seeing the big smile on your face. "Why were you banned here anyways?" he frowned, cutting the meat into small pieces and putting them on the grill. "The owner thought it was unfair that I was eating to much, which is bullshit because it's an eat all you can." you rolled your eyes, swirling the cooked meat on the cheese fondue. "- and you needed me here, because?" he asked.

"Your dad owns everything, they're not going to deny Viserys Targaryen's daughter-in-law." you smiled and another laugh escapes his mouth. "Don't be too cocky, pumpkin - deal ends tomorrow." he tapped your chin, placing the vegetables on your plate.

"Anyhow, did you but your outfit for tomorrow?" he inquired, knowing that Helaena spent the entire day looking for hers. "Yep, I'm going as T-Swizzle." you informed. "How about you?" you ask.

"I don't have an outfit - Helaena told me that the only people allowed to wear are the girls, gays and theys." he placed a slab of meat on your plate. He felt full just seeing you eat.

"And she's right." you smirked.

"What is this thing called again?" he stared at the restaurant. "Samgyupsal," you informed.

---

After eating in the restaurant, he offered to bike around town - to get rid of the calories. "Knock knock?" he asked, following behind you in a slow pace. "Who's there?" you turned to look at him, before returning your gaze back to the road ahead. "Tank," he replied.

"Tank who?"

"You're welcome." he laughed at his own joke. You rolled your eyes. "Haha that's funny, but I have a better one." you argued, easily navigating the sharp corner.

"Okay - okay. Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"Kanga,"

"Kanga who?"

"It's actually kangaroo." you laughed at yourself, and he pretended to have no reaction. "That's the most copy pasted joke ever," he tried to keep a straight face - but ultimately he ends up laughing (not because of the joke but because of your laughter). He stops the bike for a moment - attempting to regain his composure.

"It wasn't that funny," you laughed, stopping your bike and walking towards him. "Stop laughing." his face turned red with too much joy.

"I'm not!"

(DAY THREE - CAN THIS BE A REAL THING?)

"I'm so ready for this!" Baela screamed, staring at the LED display in front of her. You know I adore you, I'm crazier for you - than I was at 16 lost in a film scene. You couldn't help but blush at the feel of Aemond's arms around your shoulders. Waving homecoming queens, marching band playing. I'm lost in the lights. Ahhh.

You turned slightly in his direction.

Eyes interlocking with his.

American glory faded before me. Now I'm feeling hopeless. Ripped up my prom dress. Running through rose thorns. I saw the score board and ran for my life. Ahhh.

"Are you having fun?" he whispered in your ear, seeing the childish glimmer in your eyes. "Yeah," you smiled - leaning deeper into his touch. You weren't even sure if this was pretend anymore.

It's you and me, that's my whole world. They whisper in the hallway, she's a bad, bad girl. "The whole school is rolling their eyes, you play stupid games. You win stupid prices." Rhaena belted out - sing screaming all of the lyrics. Your eyes interlocked with each other - somehow the lyrics made sense for the both of you.

This entire thing was a stupid thing right? A stupid game.

It's you and me, there's nothing like this. Miss Americana and the Heartbreak Prince.

His grip tightened around your shoulders - seeing your body tense with every word that flows out of Taylor's mouth. He moves his body closer to yours - pressing a soft kiss to your head. You could already feel Baela side-eyeing you.

(DAY FOUR - THE AFTERMATH)

DEVIL INCARNATE (AEMOND TARGARYEN) You free today?

MY ISISAURUS (Y/N L/N) always.

DEVIL INCARNATE (AEMOND TARGARYEN) No more pretending this time. let's be real

MY ISISAURUS (Y/N L/N) yes

@mizfortuna @bellstwd @nyctophilic0vitnir @pearlstiare @fan-goddess

#aemond targaryen x reader #aemond targaryen #the one eyed prince #aemond targaryen social media au #aemond targaryen modern #modern au

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piratekane · 1 year

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Beatrice sighs as her pen runs out of ink. This is the second pen today and she’s starting to feel like there is something working against her. But, that seems illogical. The more logical conclusion is that Ava has used her pens. She has a tendency to use them until they’re nearly dry and put them back in Beatrice’s backpack, thinking she’s doing a good job returning them to where she found them.

Not maliciously. There’s nothing Ava does that is malicious. Beatrice knows she’s probably thinking: I borrowed this. I need to put it back. And then she does and Beatrice opens her backpack at the student center the next day, intent on getting some work done while she waits for Ava, and finds her pens dry.

She looks through her pencil case but there isn’t another pen, just a precisely sharpened standard pencil, two black mechanical pencils, a yellow highlighter, a soft white eraser, and her red pen - used to make corrections only. She debates using it.

No. It would ruin her notes.

Instead, she pulls out her laptop. She’ll just continue her notes there and transfer them to her notebook later. The extra repetition will be good for her. Her professor asked her a question she wasn’t quite prepared for and she knows she’s going to be thinking about it all week until she has a chance to redeem herself in the next class.

Her screen comes to life and she sighs. This one isn’t born from frustration like her last one; this one is an acceptance, an admitting to herself that, despite what she’s looking at, she can’t help but feel a rush of affection for it.

Ava has changed her desktop background again. This time, it’s a picture Camila took last weekend. Ava is in a white shirt and white shorts, a white sweatband around her forehead. All of it is stained in neon paint. She’s holding a fake plastic trophy high above her head with one hand, the other looped around Beatrice’s neck, the two of them squished into the frame. Her own clothes are soaked with the same bright colors.

How she agreed to something called a Color Run... The idea of running through cannons of color had not sounded appealing, but Ava had come home with a flyer she found on the bulletin board outside the cafeteria and presented it to Beatrice alongside a bulleted list of reasons why Beatrice should say yes.

She let Ava go through the list: one, you love to exercise. Two, it’s advertised to make the world ‘healthier’ and you’re always telling me I need to start making better choices. Three, imagine if we got Lilith to agree to come and someone blasted her with a color cannon?

The third one hadn’t been convincing. Lilith would never agree to something like that.

Beatrice didn’t tell her that the list didn’t matter; she was going to say yes the moment Ava handed her the flyer and looked at her with those eyes, the ones that always made Beatrice feel like she could free fall and not care what waits for her at the other end of it.

And she had to admit, it was rather fun. The white clothes they bought were completely ruined, but it had been worth it to see the way Ava beamed the whole run, sprinting ahead to circle back around her. She had thrown her arms wide when the color cannons went off, soaking in the powder. Beatrice soaked in her happiness in return.

It hasn’t been long. Spring is fading into summer quickly and Ava has been living with her for two months and every single moment has been filled with the kind of happiness that Beatrice could have only dreamed about when she was younger. The kind of happiness that made each day feel like it was worth waking up for.

She hadn’t gone looking for this, hadn’t expected something like this to just fall into her lap - or literally crash into her table. It’s illogical to think fate sent Ava into her orbit, but if she was pressed, she could admit that each of them must have been in the right place at the right time. Serendipity, Ava said with a rakish smile. We were destined to meet.

If there was such a thing as serendipity, it must be working in her favor.

She opens a word document, the cursor blinking at the top of the page. She titles it Anthropological Theories of Religion and flips through her textbook until she finds the correct page. She likes this class, likes how as she continues through her degree program the class gets smaller, more intimate. She typically likes the professor, though she feels thrown off by her now.

Halfway through a word, her world goes dark. Warm hands slide over her eyes, fingertips pressing against her skin.

She smiles nearly instantly. “Ava.”

“Not Ava,” says a low voice. But it’s clunky, a poor imitation at something deeper.

Beatrice plays along for just a moment, indulging Ava and a part of herself that likes to make Ava happy. “Oh? Well then. I suppose a stranger has found it appropriate to put their hands on me.” She curls her fingers around a thin wrist, one her hand already knows the shape of, and tightens slightly. “I do know how to disarm you.”

“You could try.”

Beatrice tightens her grip in response and hears a slight exhale that glances against the shell of her ear. A fingertip skates across her brow briefly and then Ava is letting go, pressing a kiss to the top of her head before she sits down heavily in the chair next to Beatrice.

“How did you know it was me? What if I was… Mary?”

Beatrice spares Ava a glance. “Mary knows better. You, on the other hand…”

“I’ve never known better.” Ava says it with pride. “Especially not when it comes to you.”

Beatrice feels her chest tighten. She wonders if Ava knows, if Ava understands how something so simple unspools the tight loop Beatrice keeps around her heart. A part of her thinks Ava must. Ava is able to read her so thoroughly. From the moment they met, Ava has seen through her so effortlessly. It’s thrilling, to be seen like that.

And it’s devastatingly terrifying.

“Yes, well,” she says quietly.

“One day, you’ll use that to your advantage.” Ava spins Beatrice’s textbook towards her, reading a few of the section titles before she turns it back towards Beatrice. “But you’re also too nice for that, so who knows.”

Beatrice straightens out her textbook out of habit more than anything else. “You’re late.”

Ava smiles sheepishly. “I got caught up.” She doesn’t give an answer past that.

Beatrice nearly frowns. Ava doesn’t owe her any more of an explanation. She just usually gives one.

“But I’m here now!” Ava takes off her backpack, resting it on the floor before she opens it and takes out her own laptop. “I thought you didn’t like typing your notes? Muscle memory or something, right?”

“My pens are out of ink.”

Ava’s cheeks flush. “That’s my fault, isn’t it.”

“It’s certainly not mine.” She says it without any malice. “I just need to start carrying more pens.”

Ava still looks guilty. She fishes into the pocket of her jean shorts and unearths a stick of gum, three paper clips, and an uncapped pen. She spreads them out on the table and nudges the pen towards Beatrice. It’s not the tip she likes, thicker than she usually uses, and it’s blue. If red would ruin her notes, this would change the physical shape of them.

She takes the offered pen and closes her laptop. “Thank you.”

“Anything for you.” Ava smiles and scoops the paper clips up, putting them back in her pocket.

Beatrice will find them later when she does the laundry and she’ll add them to the jar of pocket-trinkets she keeps of all the things Ava leaves behind in her clothes. It’s made up of coins and paper clips and pen caps - all things that Ava swears she’s going to put in proper places but never remembers until Beatrice is pulling them out of the washing machine.

Ava takes the gum and breaks it in half, offering it to Beatrice. She has coffee and this gum is spearmint. The combination will taste horrible. But she puts the gum in her mouth and smiles when Ava does.

“So, listen to what MacKay did today.” Ava tells the story animatedly, face shifting as she plays each character. Beatrice doesn’t catch every word, too focused on the rise and fall of her voice and the way her hands move as she goes on. Beatrice finds herself smiling along, not at all caring about some girl named Carina or Professor MacKay and whatever argument they’ve gotten into this week.

Ava is halfway through her story, body gearing up to drop the punch line, when her face shifts and her eyes cut over Beatrice’s shoulder. Beatrice frowns, turning to look. A boy is approaching their table, hands locked around the straps of his backpack as he strides towards them.

“Hey, Ava!” he calls.

Beatrice looks back at Ava. She knows this boy, at the very least. But her face is unreadable - a feat Ava doesn’t manage to accomplish very often. He comes closer and Beatrice’s frown deepens.

“Ah,” Ava says quietly.

Ah?

The boy slows as he reaches their table, a smile on his face that someone might find charming. She studies Ava’s face. Does she find it charming?

“Hey, Ava,” he repeats. His voice is smooth, slightly accented. A traitorous part of her thinks of the time that Ava said she liked accents. “I was hoping to catch you after class.”

Ava smiles. “Sorry, JC. I was in a hurry. Had a lunch date.” She hooks a thumb in Beatrice’s direction. “JC, meet Beatrice, my best friend. Beatrice, this is JC. He’s my biology lab partner.”

JC. She’s never heard of him before. Ava talks about everyone and everything. Some nights, she talks until she falls asleep on the couch, her Hobbes stuffed animal clutched in her arms. It’s almost as if she collects stories all day just to tell them to Beatrice later. She knows about every one of Ava’s classmates, is - secretly - invested in her Literary Theory classmates, Robert and Nayara, and their on-again, off-again relationship. She knows about the librarian Ava likes, who doesn’t mind her iced coffee, as long as she uses a paper towel and keeps it away from the books.

But she’s never heard of a JC, or anyone who might use the initials JC.

And it’s not that Ava isn’t allowed to have friends. She is. She has plenty of them. She always says hello to at least fifteen people when they go out, either here to their favorite table in the student center or in the library or walking to the cafeteria if they’re getting lunch between classes. Ava loves people, loves knowing things about them. Beatrice loves that about her.

She just thought she knew all of them. Or has heard of them before. She certainly thinks she would have remembered hearing about Ava’s lab partner. It's odd, now, that she hasn't.

JC smiles at her, his eyes taking a moment longer to shift away from Ava. “It’s nice to meet you. Ava has talked a lot about you.”

Beatrice hides her smile at that. “Nice to meet you,” she says politely.

He completely turns from her, his job of mirroring her politeness gone, his job done. Beatrice finds herself studying him. He’s attractive in a conventional sense. A strong jaw, a good smile. Camila would have many things to say about him and Beatrice works to keep her voice out of her mind. She focuses on Lilith instead.

Boys, she would probably sneer. Beatrice agrees.

JC runs a hand through his hair, pushing it back a little. Beatrice watches Ava’s eyes follow the motion and fights a visible frown. JC notices, though, and seems to preen a little in a way only university-age boys can when they find themselves to be attractive. She takes a centering breath. She doesn’t know JC. She’s sure he’s a nice person. She’s also sure he’d be a nicer one if he wasn’t standing at their table right now.

“I just wanted to know if you gave any thought to my question.”

“Ah,” Ava says again.

Ah?

JC doesn’t seem bothered. “I know your rule on dating your lab partner. It’s a very specific rule but I think you should give me a chance.”

Dating echoes in Beatrice’s head like a slow siren, like the slow spin of a lantern in a lighthouse. It illuminates JC, floating in the ocean in her mind, with his charming smile and his hopeful eyes. Ava appears next, face unreadable. They rotate around and around until they’re in the same frame.

She blinks and Ava is staring at her, a slight wrinkle in her forehead.

Beatrice keeps her face neutral, unsure of what else to do with it. She certainly can’t shout no. She absolutely will not encourage it. She’s stuck in a sort of limbo where she isn’t sure what comes next and so she waits, poised and ready to do whatever is needed of her.

Ava’s frown deepens.

JC takes the silence and runs with it. “If it’s because you’re worried about things being awkward if it doesn’t go well - and that’s a big if - then you don’t need to worry.” His smile widens and he leans one hand down on the table, his whole body angled towards Ava now. “What do you say?”

Say no, she thinks. Tell him to go away.

Ava has been living with her for two months and Beatrice has been in love with her for at least half of that.

It took some getting used to, this feeling. It took many nights laying in bed staring at the ceiling and pretending like the feelings she had for Ava were just a friendship. An intense one, born of their proximity and Ava’s natural affinity for people in general.

But love is friendship caught on fire, she’s read before. And her friendship with Ava is a living, burning thing. She knows their love would be incendiary, scorching everything she thought love looked like before.

If - and it’s a big if - Ava ever wanted to love her back.

Why would she? Why would she give up a world of possibility for Beatrice? She’s certainly nothing special. She’s disciplined, polite, considerate to the needs of others - all the things her parents wanted her to be. Ava wants someone free, a little brash, selfish in the right ways. Beatrice is none of those things, can’t even begin to think of how she could be. But Ava deserves to get what she wants after all those years of being denied even the simplest of things.

Beatrice just doesn’t have the qualities Ava could want. Friendship is one thing. Being in love with someone is another. Beatrice is hyper aware of the difference.

It doesn’t stop her from dreaming about it, though. It doesn’t stop her from wishing for it.

“What’s the worst that could happen? We spend the rest of the semester ignoring each other?” he asks, smile charming.

Yes, she thinks. What’s the worst that could happen between them? They could spend the rest of the lease ignoring each other. Ava would never look at her the same.

She’d have to go back to living her life the way it was before Ava - not the worst, but not as great as this.

“I don’t know,” Ava finally hedges.

Yes, Beatrice exhales in her mind.

JC leans forward a little more. “It doesn’t need to be anything big. We could go for one of those iced coffees you like. At the cafe near Venable?”

“She likes the one near the English department.”

Beatrice frowns. Surely that wasn’t her voice. But Ava and JC are both looking at her. So it must have been her. There’s a slight smile on Ava’s face, a slight frown on JC’s. Beatrice clears her throat.

“I’m sorry. I just…”

JC recovers. “The one near Eldridge Hall, sure. I know someone who works there. She can sneak us a pastry.”

Ava hasn’t looked away from Beatrice. “I don’t know,” she repeats.

Beatrice swallows. It’s fine. Ava is - well, not quite a grown up, but certainly not a child. Despite her propensity for Saturday morning cartoons on Beatrice’s Hulu account - which is ruining the algorithm of her suggested shows - and sleeping on the couch upside down like a toddler and eating, God help her, shredded cheese out of the bag after finishing half a gallon of milk without even pouring herself a glass, she is not a child.

She can make her own decisions. And if that decision is- If it’s- Well. Beatrice swallows past a knot forming in her throat. Well. She can do what she pleases. Including this probably-very-nice-boy in front of them. She’s allowed to do that.

So she smiles tightly, her lips pressing together thinly, and tells herself to get it together. She keeps her focus on Ava and loosens her mouth and it feels a little more natural. She inhales through her nose. She can tell Ava that she’s free to do whatever she wants with whoever she wants.

“You do like a free pastry,” is what she ends up saying.

Ava’s forehead pinches, the corners of her mouth crinkling. “I do,” she says slowly, confused.

“An iced coffee and a pastry.” Beatrice says it just as slowly. “Both things that you enjoy.”

“I do,” Ava repeats.

Beatrice nods encouragingly. Her head feels like it’s on a spring, up and down and up and down. She’s worried it’s going to roll off.

JC looks between the two of them, confusion on his face. Beatrice sees him out of the corner of her eye and her smile tightens again.

Ava is still staring at her, still frowning slightly. Beatrice forces herself into her most diplomatic smile.

Don’t you get it? she wants to ask. Don’t you understand what I’m trying to say?

But Ava misses it. Because she breaks Beatrice’s gaze and focuses on JC instead. Beatrice thinks her smile is slightly dimmer. Or she’s just hoping it is. But it still doesn’t ease the pain of knowing there is a smile and it’s aimed at JC.

She opens her mouth, but he beats her to it. “Listen, you have my number. I’m done with classes this evening. And then you’ll meet me for coffee, okay? And you won’t regret it.”

Ava says nothing. JC pushes back from their table and smiles, hooking his hands back around the straps of his bag. His eyes wander to Beatrice and he nods politely before turning in a lazy circle and heading back through the crowd as the student center starts to fill up as afternoon classes.

Beatrice looks away instantly, busying herself with adjusting her notebook. It doesn’t need to be straightened out. In fact, she pushes it out of place and the pen Ava loaned her starts to roll across the table towards the edge. She reaches for it at the same time as Ava does.

Their fingers tangle and the pen is trapped under Beatrice’s palm. She pauses, every nerve exposed, and looks up to find Ava already looking back at her.

She smiles, mouth still wound too tight. “I’ve got it.”

“Do you?” Ava asks curiously.

Beatrice frowns, looking down. Their fingers are still slotted together, still laced over the pen. Of course she has it. It’s right there, scratching blue ink against her palm.

“Because it seems like you’ve lost everything else,” Ava continues. “Like your cool, for instance.”

She pulls back minutely. “My-” Her eyes narrow. “What do you mean by that?”

Ava shrugs a shoulder. She only does that when she has a secret, when there’s something that Beatrice missed, a cue she didn’t read. “You do like a free pastry,” she mocks, her voice pitched low in a terrible approximation of Beatrice’s accent. “What gotten into you?”

“Oh.” Beatrice bristles. “Well, you do.”

“I know that. You know that.” Ava pauses. “Why does JC need to know that?”

Beatrice doesn’t have a good answer for that. So she makes one up. “Your potential suitors will need to know things about you. That is less a trivia fact and more of a necessity.”

Ava snorts loudly. Beatrice looks around, but no one seems bothered by the sudden noise. “My potential suitors?” She shakes her head. “Bea, honestly. No one talks like you do.”

She doesn’t make it sound like an insult. She never does, never has. She seems more entertained than anything, but not in a way that makes Beatrice uncomfortable or self-conscious. It makes her feel seen. And she loves to be seen by Ava. It uncoils some of the tension in her shoulder that she knows is radiating into her hand, tense under Ava’s touch.

Ava doesn’t move her hand. “Well, thanks to you, I think I’m going on a date tonight.”

Thanks to me. Thanks to the way she said Ava would enjoy herself. Thanks to her, Ava is meeting someone who isn’t her for a coffee at Ava’s favorite cafe where she only brings Beatrice. One of our places, Ava always tells her with a smile.

“You can say no,” she reminds Ava, her whole body locking up again.

Say no, say no. She feels each word burn in her throat. But why would she? Why would she pick someone like JC over me?

Ava is still looking at her curiously, head tipped slightly as she studies her face. Beatrice holds still, face perfectly impassive from years of practice. She doesn’t move, doesn’t blink, doesn’t open her mouth and tell Ava that JC seemed nice but she deserves something better than nice; something spectacular.

Then again, she’s not sure that Ava would feel that way about her.

So she forces her face to relax. Works through each muscle until she’s smiling slightly and nods encouragingly. “But if you like him and can see yourself enjoying your time, you should say yes.”

“Do you want me to?”

The question cuts through her with the intensity of a perfect lightning strike. She pulls back slightly, the only indication Ava’s hand tightening over hers when it starts to slide away. Ava’s face has gone from curious to a level of seriousness usually reserved for her more difficult homework assignments, or when she’s trying to figure out something Beatrice said.

“I don’t… I don’t think that’s my decision.”

“Well, you’re my best friend.”

Beatrice has never hated a description more in her life. She fights the visceral reaction she feels come alive in her chest. She is Ava’s best friend. She’s admitted that more times than her parents have told her they love her. The first time had been a surprise to both of them, almost too soon after Ava moved in. But it felt natural. Ava slotted into the unknown hole in her life like she had always been there.

But she’d set their whole foundation on fire if it meant one day she could be Ava’s best friend and, and, and.

She widens her smile, feeling like she’s playing a part. “Of course. But I suppose… Well, there’s no harm in trying, is there?”

Ava’s hand slides away now and the feeling that she said the wrong thing rushes in on her.

“A very diplomatic answer, Beatrice.” She pats the top of Beatrice’s hand before she pulls it into her lap. “Remind me again why you’re not running for student government?”

Beatrice doesn’t smile. She simply touches her notebook, arranging it’s already perfect line. She looks down at the chunky-tipped blue pen sitting on the page, so out of place against the neat, thin, black lines of her notes. Suddenly the idea of writing with it feels overwhelming.

“I think we better get to lunch.” She puts the pen in front of Ava. “Camila said she was going to meet us there.”

She needs the buffer, needs to put space between them. Camila is the perfect distraction. Mary and Shannon would know instantly that something was wrong - and they’d corner her until she said what. But perhaps they might not; Shannon seems supernaturally in tune with her and there’s rarely a thing she needs to tell her. Lilith would read Beatrice’s hesitation and be annoyed. Or think it’s Ava’s fault and be cagey when she doesn’t need to be. Camila would be too polite to acknowledge the tension Beatrice knows is radiating off her.

Ava, mercifully, doesn’t argue with her or point out that Camila isn’t meeting them for another 15 minutes and the walk only takes 5. She pockets the pen again and packs her things away, waiting for Beatrice to zip her bag closed.

They walk inches apart, shoulders to themselves. It’s the longest 5 minutes of Beatrice’s life.

The door opens slowly. Beatrice looks up from her book, the one she’s been reading since Ava left; the one she hasn’t been reading at all. Ava slips through it, back turned to close the door quietly behind her. When she turns to the living room, she gasps.

“Beatrice.”

Beatrice blinks. “Why are you sneaking back in?”

Ava is still taking deep breaths, hand pressed to her chest. “I thought you’d be sleeping.”

“At…” Beatrice checks her phone, frowning. “Eight o’clock in the evening?”

The tips of Ava’s ears go red just enough for Beatrice to notice. “Well. I didn’t look at the time.”

Beatrice looks out the window at the golden sunset. “It’s still light out.”

“You’re an early sleeper.” Ava sounds like she’s grasping at straws, the pitch of her voice rising.

“Not that early,” Beatrice says flatly. She slips her bookmark into her book, grateful to be closing it. “8 hours a night are important, but if I went to sleep at this hour, I’d be up at four in the morning. That’s too early, even for me.”

Ava toes off her shoes, kicking them towards the shoe rack at the door. One of them lands on the rack but the other bounces off it and away. Ava sighs, fixes it, and runs a hand through her hair when she straightens up.

“How-” Beatrice stops. She suddenly needs to be busy, needs to have her hands moving. She could open her book again, thumb through the pages. But tea sounds better. She stands, crossing to the kitchen and filling the electric kettle.

��I got you a coffee.” Ava pulls out a stool tucked at the breakfast bar, leaning forward with her chin in her hands. “But some kid on a skateboard crashed into me when he cut a corner and took the coffee down with him.”

Beatrice pulls two mugs out the cabinet, dropping a tea bag in each. “Are you okay?”

“Just my pride.” Ava shrugs when Beatrice looks back. “But I’m disappointed. I got you a mocha chip frappuchino. Lucy put in extra chocolate chips.”

Something flutters in Beatrice’s chest, a sudden thought that overwhelms her: maybe Ava does these things because she feels it too. She pushes it down and smiles. “I do like when Lucy makes my drinks. But, maybe next time.”

Ava is quiet long enough that Beatrice wonders if she left. The kettle starts to whistle and she fills the mugs, balancing them carefully as she carries them to the counter Ava hasn’t moved from. She’s just uncharacteristically quiet. She hums a thank you and curls her hands around the mug, hissing when she finds it’s too hot.

Beatrice can’t help the fond smile; Ava is always rushing into things.

It’s why Beatrice knows Ava doesn’t feel the same way. She’s not rushing into this, not caught up in a whirlwind like she is with everything else.

“Aren’t you going to ask me how my date was?” Ava finally asks.

I don’t want to know.

“How was your date?” she asks politely.

Tell me it was the worst date you’ve ever been on. Worse than the one you told me about where the boy slurped his pasta and sauce got everywhere; worse than the one where the girl tried to cast a love spell on you.

Ava shrugs. “It was… nice.” She blows on her tea. “JC is a good guy. I knew that already. But it wasn’t… groundbreaking.”

Beatrice is patient, letting her tea cool on its own. “Does a date need to be groundbreaking?”

“World-breaking.” Ava says it so quickly and fiercely, Beatrice has to blink. “It should be life-altering.”

“That seems like a lot to expect for a first date.” Beatrice points out. “At a coffee shop. With your lab partner.”

Ava shrugs. “Maybe I just have high expectations.”

Ones Beatrice can never live up to, it seems.

She smiles, hoping it looks warm and friendly. “You’ll have a hard time finding someone with an outlook like that.”

“I don’t know.” Ava takes a sip of her tea, hisses again. “I mean, a lot of things in my life have been like that. Getting out of the orphanage. Getting into school. Meeting you.” She’s staring at Beatrice now, a smile on her face.

She curls her hands around her mug and fights the way it burns her skin. She’s hardly earth-shattering, hardly worth that much. There’s no way she could be. But Ava is so earnest all the time, means things so completely. And if she’s saying that, Beatrice has to acknowledge that Ava considers her something great. A great friendship that Beatrice could never, ever risk.

But she feels herself flush all the same. “I’d hardly call it that.” She hedges around her next question. “So, no second date?”

She wonders if Ava hears the way her voice trembles; she can certainly feel it in her chest.

But Ava doesn’t seem to, too focused on taking another, slower, sip of her tea. This one apparently doesn’t scald her tongue. She grins up at Beatrice, hunched over the steaming mug. She’s brought her legs up on the rungs of the stool and her knees are around her ears. Ava clutches the mug tightly to her chest.

She’s in love with a menace.

“I don’t think so,” Ava says after a minute. “I mean, I don’t really have a reason not to, but…”

Beatrice breathes in deeply, steadying herself. She’s not a reason for Ava to say no. She knows that. “That’s not very encouraging,” she says instead.

Ava shrugs. “I don’t know. I’m not looking for anything to change right now. I want things to stay exactly as they are. Things are perfect. And if I went out with him again, I’d just be, I don’t know. Pretending.”

She takes another measured sip of her tea. She feels like she’s walking in the empty space between the points of knives. “You wouldn’t be happy.”

Ava shakes her head softly. “No, I wouldn’t be. How could I be happy if I was pretending all the time?”

Beatrice knows. Because she is. She’s pretending from the moment she wakes up to the moment she falls asleep alone and all the seconds in between. She’s pretending that everything she’s feeling isn’t consuming her from the inside out.

All the books she read as a child, all the romances novels she devoured in her bed with a flashlight illuminating the pages - none of it described the way it feels now. Love is friendship on fire had seemed like such a childish thing to say. Something arbitrary and insignificant. But now she understands what it’s supposed to mean, what she could never understand before with anyone else.

“You couldn’t,” she admits. She’s not lying.

Ava’s eyes are still piercing, still searching her face. She wonders what Ava is trying to find and she keeps the truth as far away from her as she can. Either she finds something else or she gives up, because her face breaks into two and she’s grinning.

Ava slurps her tea, smiling wider when Beatrice looks mildly disgusted. “Alright. The way I see it, we have two options: we have a sleepover night where you let me braid your hair and I let you paint my toenails.” She laughs when the mild disgust turns into outright horror. “Or, I get you back into that really nice sweater you were wearing earlier and we got off in search of a replacement mocha chip frappuchino?”

Beatrice abandons her tea almost immediately. “Do you know what time Lucy’s shift is over?”

Ava jumps off her stool, landing lightly on her feet. She doesn’t bother with sneakers, socked feet sliding into sandals. Beatrice thinks about telling her how ridiculous it looks: her mid-calf socks usually hidden by her high-top sneakers, and a pair of black slides; her jean shorts where the pocket hangs just a little too long past the hem; her crop top with How you lichen me now? hand-stenciled on the front, from the one botany club meeting she attended; her hair half-pulled back in a high top-knot; a crooked grin on her face.

She’s the most beautiful woman Beatrice has ever seen in her life.

And one day, someone else is going to get to call her theirs. Beatrice will be left with the empty space where Ava used to be, her own space in Ava’s life filled up with someone else. Someone better. Someone she wants to rush headlong into the future with. Someone she sees a world of possibilities with.

Beatrice will be happy for her. Or, she’ll exhaust herself pretending.

“Milady,” Ava says, mouth tripping over the sounds. She holds out her arm. “Will you accompany me on this chip?”

Beatrice rolls her eyes. “You hardly made an effort that time.”

Ava’s smile doesn’t falter. “One of these days, I’ll impress you, Beatrice. You’ll see.” She wags her finger at Beatrice. “And then you’ll realize how special I am. You’ll never want to lose me.”

“No,” she says quietly. Ava slips away to grab her phone, abandoned on the breakfast bar. Beatrice waits by the door, holding it open. “I don’t suppose I ever will.”

It’s inevitable. She’ll lose Ava to someone who loves her out loud, someone good enough for her. But she’s going to bury greedy hands into the moments in between and hold on for as long as Ava lets her.

“I think I’m going to tell JC it was nice, but we won’t go out again,” Ava says conversationally as they exit their apartment building, headed towards campus. “He was nice, but… I’m looking for better.”

“You’ll find it,” she says, believing it wholeheartedly. She unthinkingly maneuvers Ava around a crack in the sidewalk. “You just need to be patient.”

“Patience isn’t my strong suit.” Her hand slides to Beatrice’s, their fingers slotting together for a fleeting moment. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait. But I'll try.”

Just keep waiting. Wait forever, her mind screams. Don’t find anyone before I can be who you need me to be.

Ava takes in her silence and laughs. Beatrice frowns, not in on the joke, but doesn’t protest when Ava laces an arm through hers, pulling until their pressed together from the shoulder to their elbows, digging into each other. There’s no space between them, not for a slip of paper or a secret.

Ava hums softly, some tune Beatrice doesn’t know, but would guess is some new song on the radio that she’s never heard. Beatrice lets it bubble in her chest, sinks into it’s familiar warmth, and hopes that whatever God is watching over her lets her keep this moment for as long as she can.

And if he isn’t, she hopes he’s just not paying enough attention to realize she’s living on borrowed time and that she’s running out of it.

#warrior nun #avatrice #ava silva #sister beatrice #forever roommates #jealousy turning saints into the sea #but also poor bea?#(as if i didn't write her into this corner)#everyone say thank you kay thank you kay #anyway let's try for a little less next time yes?

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shamythelazypotato · 5 days

Text

"Going back" AvA AU

First part of this / Next part

"A weekly battle?" Chosen asks with a confused look. It's been a week since he moved in with the CG, and it's been... interesting to say the least. He got his own room in a pixelated place thanks to something the kids called 'Minecraft.' He had heard of it before; it became a pretty popular game for a while. But to be honest, nothing interested TCO more than conquering websites alongside Dark back then.

Ah, Dark. For some reason, his thoughts always drift back to him...

Chosen found out the kids lacked individual names. Oh, they claimed they did, but in reality, they were simply identified by their colors. Red, Green—mere descriptors that couldn't help but make Chosen scoff inwardly, How could they settle for being identified solely by their colors?

It seemed too simplistic, too devoid of identity, for Chosen, his name had always been his beacon, his identity etched into every pixel of his existence.

Powerful, glorious, strong, special.

It is true that the black hollow-head didn't grasp the importance of it at first, but after what happened, Chosen actually had time to think, not about destruction or mayhem, just actually think. And now that he thinks about it, these kids are way more different than he is or what he's used to. Still, being named after a color is stupid at least. It looks like Alan couldn't care enough to at least name them properly.

No, Chosen shakes his head slightly as his red eyes glance at the bar task under him.

It's better this way, no expectations, no destiny or something. The kids are actually lucky, luckier than he was at least.

"What are these weekly battles about?" Chosen finally asks. He reclines himself over the soft sofa on the left side of the desktop, leaving enough space to appreciate the battle that is about to start.

"Oh, that's easy!" Second says with a smile. "It's when we usually reunite together to have like a sparring contest! The winner gets one of these," Second says excitedly as he takes out of nowhere a cubic-like trophy in gold. Seems like these kids have made their whole life around Minecraft.

The red kid (Chosen assumes the youngest one) is bouncing eagerly around, throwing punches at the air and getting excited in general. Meanwhile, the green one is patting his shoulder, probably to calm him down and then pointing at himself in an arrogant way. Red only points at him, saying in a tone of defiance, "Hey! Just because you mostly win it doesn't mean you're the best!"

Green says, leaning with his hands on his hips and smirking, "Isn't that exactly what it proves? That I'm the best?"

"Ugh! Don't try to use your mind tricks on me Green! It won't work," but Chosen could clearly perceive a hint of hesitation in Red's eyes. Kids, he thinks in a mixture of amusement and exasperation.

Meanwhile Blue and Yellow were standing more closely to Second, who was almost Infront of Chosen.

The blue one seemed excited as well but in a calmer way, while the yellow one shared his enthusiasm in the same level of excitement, she was also talking about possible strategics and nudging playfully at her blue partner about winning.

They really think this is a game.

Chosen's pupils look at the side without moving his head.«No wonder these kids don't know what to do in a real fight» his eyes narrow as he stares at a lost point on the desktop. His perceptive memory still remembers how the same sticks disintegrated in front of his helpless form.

Pinned, bloody, and beaten up. Helpless. Weak. Weak.

Cursors. Chosen hates Dark for making him feel this way, and this desktop is not helping at all. Ironically, the only other place where he has felt like this before. Thanks to a certain cursor.

Why did he think it was a good idea to come back to this place in the first place? Maybe his house was too painful destroyed to live in. Maybe it's because there are multiple wanted signs searching for him (not that he's afraid). Maybe it's because it doesn't matter where he is anymore.

He will grief survive anyway.

He won't fail again.

"Wanna join us Chosen?" Since Chosen told his name to the kids, he hasn't stopped hearing his name, he almost felt self conscious of it, Chosen glances at Second and says in a monotonous voice "Wouldn't it be unfair?"

"Unfair?...uh" Second trails off as he rests his hand on his chin. Second tilts his head with a curious look to the black stickfigure. "Maybe, but it's just a friendly sparring! You can even teach us cool moves or new techniques to learn! And probably-"

"I meant you" Chosen says in a dead tone, his crimson eyes flickering to see the green confusion in Second. "Isn't it unfair if you and I fight with them?" Second has a puzzled expression on his face.

"What do you mean by that? We're all the same here! Well except for you that you're super fast and powerf-"

"We're both powerful" Chosen says bluntly, he narrows his eyes slightly, «strange» since they came back from defeating Dark, Chosen tried to give his thanks to Second yet, the orange stickfigure looked confused about it, trying to deny he remembers anything about "healing powers" or "Resurrection" and thanking Chosen instead.

And just now, Second shakes his head stubbornly as he says "No Chosen! I already told you, I'm glad you appreciated our efforts but I was just as helpless as my...friends were" Second bows his head in the floor, his lip trembling slightly "I... almost died with them, until you saved us"

At the mention of death, the rest of the stickfigures fell silent and glanced at Chosen then at Second, seems like it was still a sensitive topic for the colorful sticks.

«So he doesn't really remember anything» Chosen thinks inwardly with a sigh, it's not of his surprised that Second is oblivious of his own powers, probably even Alan doesn't know anything about them.

Funny enough it's how it was only activated when he had to survive.

Chosen remembers being in control since the first time he was created, not a trigger or a reason, just a purpose

Survive

Still he's smart enough to know when he has done enough questions to someone, Second actually looks affected by what has happened a days ago before. Even the rest of the colorful sticks were silent and looking down or leaning on each other as if to reassure to each other they're good, they're alive.

«Enough probing»

Chosen sighs again

"If I join you, do you guys will let me be?" Chosen asks with the slightly twitch of an eyebrow in a questioning tone, sounding more reluctant than excited yet Chosen tries.

Second seems to not notice and he perks up at his question, his face splits into a wide smile as he says in a joyful tone "Oh yes please! It'll be fun, we promise!"

Red, who's in the right side of the desktop also smiles, he exclaims childlike "Yes! You'll see me kick this dude's ass!" Red chuckles as she shoves Green playfully, the latest snort at Red's statement and shoves back affectionately as he says "Hah! In your dreams!" And start bickering.

Yellow just smiles in amusement at his friends antics as Blue says with a more gentle smile looking at Second "Yeah! Maybe that would help us to improve our fighting skills as well!"

"My thoughts exactly!" Second beams as he approaches to the now excited stickfigures, shaking his arms up and down in anticipation.

Chosen looks at them with a questioning look for a few seconds, before his lips traitorously twitch slightly into the attempt of an amused smile. Kids

He quickly composes himself as he gets up slowly from the couch and asks

"So? When do we start?"

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