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onmyyan · 2 years

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A/N: First Yandere OC he’s a big baby n i love him❤ TWs: Yandere shenanigans, Smut, reader has a coochie, word pussy used to describe genitalia, cis fem reader, ”Good Girl”, breeding kink, feeding kink, cum eating (reader doesn't know) oral (f receiving), shower sex, cursing

Lemme know what you guys think!!

Caspian Delmont HC's

25 year old beefcake

The biggest guy in the room no matter where he is. Absolutely massive individual, standing proud at 6'4 a wall of muscle shaped like a man, definition of scary dog privilege

Smells like cinnamon and warm chocolate

Likes to take Sunday drives in his granddads 67 Chevy Impala, oldies blaring through the speakers he'd put in himself(the only thing he changed about the car)

Old fashioned in the way where he'd lay a man out flat in the street for disrespecting you, then take you to dinner as an apology for having to deal with that crap.

He has an accent, a thick Bronx twang that comes out heavy on certain words, bilingual, speaks fluent Spanish and English, he's mixed with Filipino and Puerto Rican, has a huge family so he wants one with you. If you don't however he'll settle for a small army of animals.

Drinks his respect women juice like water, sees you as his equal and at the same time holds you on this goddess like pedestal high above him.

Boxes in his free time to release pent up aggression, and he's good at it.

Early on in the relationship he is quite hesitant to show you this side as he's insecure about how you view him.

Everyone has always had some ulterior motive when it came to him, he's used to people befriending him out of fear or to use his intimidating stature to their advantage, so when you don't he's both incredibly warmed and confused.

You're genuineness only draws him in further, as tough an act he puts on our boy falls fast and hard.

First time he saw you he was a goner, you were elbow deep in some toffee cookie dough, the tip of your tongue poking through your plush lips in the cutest form of concentration he'd ever bore witness to.

His brain worked a mile a minute as he sped walked his way to the desk next to you, shoulder checking the smaller man who was previously beside you. You looked up at the sound of his body meeting the desk in his scurry out the way of Caspian’s impending mass.

His red eyes widened as they met yours, the smile you gave him was real, he saw it in the way it reached your eyes. The small 'hi' you said as you went back to your work had butterflies erupting in his chest the entire hour of class.

Not one to shy away from his wants he quickly comes up to you after the lesson eager to help you clean up as his own station was miraculously cleared in moments.

He lays on the charm thick, all the while making sure not to come off as too pushy, he visibly lit up when he got you to laugh that first time.

Wants to ask you out immediately but knows he loves a lot harder than most and the last thing he wanted was to scare you away. Forces himself to hold back even though he knew you were the one after about one and a half classes.

Remembers everything you share about yourself, down to the most minute detail about how you like to stay home when it rains because it always makes you sleepy, or how you like when your partner can protect you because people in the past have failed to.

Absolute sweetheart to you, treats you like you deserve to be, 100% worshiped.

Can and has knocked some teeth out to protect your honor, if someone made the fatal mistake of making you cry?

Oh he's calling his sketchy cousin who owns a junkyard on the edge of town and having him leave the gates unlocked for him where your offender may or may not be tied up in the trunk of their car, he doesn't give em' a speech or tell them why he's doing what he is, in his mind they should know. Their muffled screams would be drowned out by the metal jaws and teeth of the compactor his cousin let him use from time to time, he'd have to bake him some macaroons as a thank you- ooh he could ask you to join him! It be such a cute date.

Major sweet tooth, loooooves hand feeding you especially if it's something he himself made it's a physical representation of his love!!

Calls you sugar, pumpkin, honeyy(specifically drawing out the y at the end so its more like a whine) babycakes, muffin, basically any food you can call your s/o he's doing it

He wakes up an hour or so before you so he can stare lovingly without you getting all flustered and hiding from him.

His favorite days are spent waking up late with you on top of him, his big arms holding you securely to his chest, neither of you have work or classes, you'd wake up to him humming some unnamed tune, the timber in his voice lulling you gently awake, he won't leave the bed without at least one kiss, first words you hear are usually something like "Mornin' sugar" followed by the kinda toe curling kiss that shakes all the sleep from your system, I'm talking he only pulls away to breathe kinda kiss, "I'm the luckiest bastard in the world gettin' to wake up with a woman like you warming my sheets." If you two don't immediately go at it like rabbits he'll twirl you both into the kitchen where you'll cook breakfast together, the radio softly filling the morning air, makes you sit in his lap while you eat, he'd be so focused on watching you eat he'd forget to do it himself so naturally you take the time to feed him as well, cue his heart exploding and him getting so excited he all but tosses you on the table, hand cradling your head because he'd never hurt you, eventually you'd be able to keep your paws off each other long enough to get ready, although if he's in the room it will take twice as long.

Nsfw under here❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗❗

Doesn't matter your height or weight this man is throwin you around in the bedroom

His hands are surprisingly soft for how rugged he looks, he's obsessed with trailing them along your body, stares at you like you're artwork.

On one hand he wants to take his time, start at the bottom work his way up your body, kissing, licking and biting everywhere he could. He wants to tease you, taste you get drunk off your sent until you tug him away from your sex, then he'd slide his way up the sweet smile on his face not matching the debauchery he was about to commit.

On the other hand he wants to lay on the bed and have you sink onto his face so he can eat like the starved beast he is, any fears or insecurities about the ordeal fly out the window when you look down to see this titan of a man with tears beading his lashline, begging to eat your pussy, whining to just do it already and he could take it if you'd pleeeease just give it to em'

Feeder kink on max, it all starts when one day your hands are full and you innocently asked him to feed you, all was well and good until his finger lingered in your mouth a second too long, your tongue teasingly flicked the appendage as it retreated, now every time you're eating all he can think about is sitting you in his lap and feeding you. If he could he'd spend every meal with you cockwarming him and his fingers in your mouth.

Service Top? Service Top.

Can and will eat you out until you're a whining, blubbering, mess. More often than not you have to pull him by his hair to catch your breath, of course the light sting from your yanks would only spur him on,

"One more honey? C'mon good girl give it to me. I know you can baby- that's right ride my face." Absolute menace

Shower sex that leaves you feeling dirtier than when you went in

Definitely the type to talk you through it.

"There we go- that's it honey jus' let go f'me." He loves to moan in your ear and see the pretty way your face twists up, loud as hell too, it's a good thing he has a house cuz the man is a screamer.

Always makes you cum more than once, competitive bastard makes it a game between himself to see how many times you can unravel before you tap out.

Can you say Pussy drunk? He wants it as sloppy and messy as he can get. Eats you like its his last chance, i'm talking moaning into your skin, pulling your hips down to get you as close as possible, grinding himself against the bed while he thanks you for letting him have his favorite meal.

He's definitely came in your food before sorry

It's just so romantic to him!! The idea of being inside of you-even just a small piece, quells the possessive monster he keeps leashed. For now

Is willing to try anything you want in bed except hurting you, some choking? Sure, impact play? If you asked him real nicely, but anything like degradation he just can't make himself be mean to his baby!!

You could be mean to him though, there's a small genuine part of him that likes when you get a little rougher, he thinks he doesn't deserve you- any of you, so dig your nails in his skin, mark him with your teeth, show him who he belongs to.

Breeding kink breeding kink breeding kink- you get the picture.

If you indulge him once he'll never wanna cum anywhere else.

"Please baby-fuck, please lemme' cum inside please please fuck me fuck me yes- oh god m'gonna fill this pretty pussy so deep yes, yes- oh god baby girl feels. So. Fuckin. Good." He'd thrust as hard as he could at the end, his face scrunching up in the most blissful fucked out expression. Absolutely cried because of how good it felt.

All in all you give him an inch he'll give you eight

#yandere #yandere x reader #yandere x y/n #yandere male #yandere male x reader #yandere oc #caspian oc #yandere oc x reader #oc x reader #yandere hcs #yandere smut #caspian delmont

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oracleofsecrets · 9 months

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1, 17, and 18 for tje octopath asks >:) (i Will play octopath one day. but until then. answer me my questions three)

God okay it took me three minutes to scroll back on my blog to find the ask prompts post in the first place lol

1. fave traveler (& are they who you started with)

Hhhggghhh this is so hard to answer. I started with Throné, But I think I’d have to say Castti

She’s the Most in just about every aspect. She’s nice and sturdy for combat, her first EX skill can do Extreme Damage (if you can set it up right…. something I couldn’t pull off often 😔), she’s super smart, so so nice, she’s lesbian, her story is Agony amazing and she’s a lil silly!

Women who will say “I’ll chop you limb from limb” in battle and then say on the victory screen “there’s no cure for evil” or “forgive me ☺️”

And like as a jrpg one of the game’s Core Themes is Hope [in the face of the wildest shit you can imagine] and Castti and her story embody that well. Naturally, as an apothecary, she’s seen all manner of illness and injury, as well as the unavoidable fact that sometimes treatment isn’t Enough or can only be palliative, but she keeps at it anyway even though those moments haunt her. It’s a very emotional profession that takes a lot of resilience, and well. We see in her story how that can End Up …

17. best relationship dynamic between two characters

Hm! (Lemme just open up the game and replay all the travel banters) (took more than an hour)

I think the one that’s funniest is Partitio and Osvald. Like their joined path quests where Osvald sees an old classmate who’s broke and just needs some help buying a few parts for his telescope help a guy out. And partitio is like alright sure! And osvald is like are u srs this is a waste of time. Don’t say I didn’t tell you so. They mug a loan shark communicating in coffee metaphors

Also how ride or die Partitio is in general and how that applies to Osvald’s story. Parti Sees Some Shit and is like alright you want that guy dead? Let’s go!!

18. hc for chara

Hmmm Im not too HeadCanon-y about this game ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ but as I was looking over the travel banters, the ones between Agnea and Throné are really sweet ;-; A few of them feel like Agnea has baby’s first gay crush on Throné lol. She’s like Wow you’re so elegant and fashionable and kind

Otherwise I’d say Hikari transed gender (esp This joke I commissioned)

#eheeee thank u zach for indulging me #games I’m so normal about (has been listening almost exclusively to the OST for the past 4 months)#(Tbf that’s mostly during driving. but I don’t listen to music too much outside of that)#octopath traveler 2

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triforceofawesome · 1 year

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First review: aw shit you know it's gonna be a webtoon--- my review for the first 3 seasons of Let's Play

spoilers beware

Okay what drew me in to read this was the alleged controversy around it. I don't remember EXACTLY what was said about it but I remember hearing people be like "eugh" about it. So naturally when I had the time, I wanted to see for myself.

While I did enjoy reading the webtoon, I can definitely see where people get the ire from. The fmc is so stupidly sheltered, it's almost frustrating at times. Seriously, in the age of the internet and online gaming how can you, a 22 year old, not know what flavored condoms are used for?

Sam (the fmc) has been sheltered by her family and friends (mainly her father) due to her childhood illnesses and general issues with anxiety/confrontation. While they mean well, it's stunted her growth as an adult woman. Her biggest thing imo is her wrestling with her own self confidence, she says a few times when people ask about her wardrobe, that she feels like "a kid playing dress up" which again, is due to her being sheltered and not given enough space to spread her wings.

The plot is interesting to me! It's new enough to capture my attention but with familiar tropes that I'm like "oho, right up my alley indeed"

Speaking of characters, I STAN MONICA. I love how Monica is written to be sexy and confident, but she doesn't tear down other women to build herself up. It can be SO easy for writers to make characters like Monica into being the one dimensional mean girl antagonist. But Monica only ever uplifts Sam, giving her fashion and relationship advice and is never jealous of Marshall's friendship with her. She's only upset with Marshall when he basically pushes himself overboard trying to play Sam's game that he ended up in the hospital, which again she never blames Sam for it. We love women characters supporting each other.

On the opposite end, is Marshall's older sister Eva. When Marshall is in the hospital, she meets Monica for the first time and is immediately judgemental and catty towards her. Your brother's heart stopped beating and you're gonna be an ass to his girlfriend, um okay then. Also Eva has major daddy issues, which became GLARINGLY obvious when her dad first made an appearance in the webtoon. The man looks like Charles, same eye color and hair style (but the dad's is slightly longer and gray) which makes me think that's why she went after Charles (this has yet to be verified in the webtoon but come on, I have eyes and reading comprehension skills). As of right now I don't like Eva. Nope. Everyone was like "waa waa Charles is a manipulator waa waa" bitch she's literally manipulating Marshall into doing something for their abusive dad.

SPEAKING OF CHARLES.....

I don't care what the haters say, I love this character. I know that Sam will more than likely end up with Marshall but shhhh lemme enjoy Sam/Charles while they're canon. I can't help it y'all, I love a slightly toxic fictional man. (who am I kidding I love all levels of toxic fictional men). They way that chains have been used as a visual for him, makes me think that he will be possessive of Sam at some point and ough I can't wait for the d r a m a. Also Charles checking Sam's phone in the middle of the night and Sam catching him? 👀 I do like how Charles never coddles Sam and actually treats her like an adult. He pushes her outside of her comfort zone (dressing more professional, meeting with clients face to face, the self love exercise he makes her do every morning at work) but also recognizes when she's extremely uncomfortable doing something and doesn't force her to do it (making her propose the project to the game developer company herself, Charles could see that she wasn't there yet so he wasn't going to make her).

Tbh I don't have much to say about Sam/Marshall. They've made each other blush a few times but it wasn't really a romantic type of way?? Just them being awkward nerds to each other + Sam being sheltered. They're still very much in friend territory right now but with the way things left off at the end of season 3 (Marshall is single now, and Sam caught Charles looking at her phone) its only a matter of time before Sam/Marshall becomes the current ship. I DO like him as a character though, don't get me wrong but we'll see how the author goes about a Sam and Marshall romantic relationship.

ALSO...

I read a few reviews where people criticize the Sam/Charles paring because of his age (what is his age???? they never specified in the comic. just that he's old enough to have been married and divorced lmao) and the dynamic that comes with it? While Sam is still very inexperienced with navigating romantic relationships (both physical and emotional aspects), Charles has told her to be the one to initiate being physical so that she can go at her own pace with him. He doesn't want a boyfriend/girlfriend thing (pffff we've seen how that's been working out for him, Sam is literally melting his heart) and has communicated that clear to her from the beginning. I am curious though.....would not a Sam and Marshall romance also have a somewhat unequal power dynamic going on? Marshall might be much closer to her age, but he's a celebrity, she's not. That's a power dynamic imbalance if ever I've seen one lmao.

One thing that really annoys me, and I'm greatly annoyed anytime I see it in any other media...

When we learn that Sam's friend Angela was assaulted, the writer has Angela say how "broken" she feels. This is a pet peeve of mine, and I'm aware that not everyone feels this way and that everyone is entitled to describing their feelings however they want, but for me....I absolutely hate that. Maybe it's my evangelical upbringing but when I'm reading a fic/book/webtoon/whatever, and the writer uses the word broken to describe how a character feels (*especially* when the character has been assaulted) it just gives me MAJOR ick. I'm used to hearing broken in terms of people in a church setting, ex. "you're broken and god fixes broken people." Friends, I don't know how to explain it other than I just do not like it at all. anytime I read/listen to the word broken in reference to a human person, my mind deducts points from the media.

Another thing I must deduct points on is that literally every character (minus 2 people) have the exact same body type. We have 1 plus size male character that is a coworker, and 1 thin female coworker. there isn't much diversity in the recurring characters' bodies, I kid you not 99% of the female characters (except this one coworker) are hour glass bombshells, and 99% of the male characters (except the other coworker) are chiseled with well defined muscles. yes I know what fanservice is but come ON.

anyway overall I did enjoy the webtoon. it has its flaws that I take beef with, but I was entertained nonetheless

#my reviews #let's play webtoon #webtoons #and yes i did notice the obvious similarities between marshall law and markiplier i am not blind

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written-beyond-the-grave · 3 years

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Mikaelsons Black History Month

First off, I’m starting by saying that even though it is no longer Black history month it will always be melanin everyday and black people every day. And everything else under the sun, and if you don’t like it then the exit is to your left. Everything you own in the box to the left

Being part of the Mikaelsons is very fickle business and be some bs. Like really, you’re here with supernatural beings who are over 1000 years old. Who have traveled the world, gained endless knowledge, seen a lot of bloodshed, but you know what they haven’t seen? Their token human (black ofc) being ignant for black history month, I mean who even fully celebrates? How does one even celebrate?

Granted, they’re not racist. But with the writing Julie Pleck did she was playing honestly. That was the worst writing I've ever seen since who knows when. Maybe the nine lives of Chloe king or something? But in my originals universe they were probably racist in the beginning to an extent then grew out of it.

Anyways, they never met someone who celebrated until they met you!

Now repeat after me: I’m black y’all, and I’m black y’all. And I’m black and black and black y’all! FYM

Now…. picture this: A moderately quiet day in the Mikaelson household. Kol is minding his business for once, Rebekah is trying to find the perfect pics for her next instagram post, Elijah is enjoying a good read, and Klaus is organizing his art materials. But then here comes you, the human, opening the door and walking right in like you pay bills (none of them do but you get the picture) in the midst of the most deadly people. Walking in and greeting everyone, walking in with the most hotep, Dr. Umar bullshit getup they ever seen. Coming to America headass.

They recognize your footsteps from a mile away, so when you walk into the kitchen and no one really looks up at first it’ll be a sight to see a whole ass pelted lion on your back. The kente cloth hat (no idea the actual name for it, sorry babes), a saber tooth necklace (for my mans T’Challa), and the red stiletto nails with the afro out here banging.

SHEEEEEEEEESH

Once Elijah is done with his page he looks up to greet you, but then stops… Bitch, fuck is you wearing? This was worlds away from the sweats, and skinny jeans you wore on the daily.

“Greetings Y/N you look…. Fashionable.” Mans didn’t know what to say. Did he miss something about your Africna roots? Was there a holiday he hadn’t heard of, doubt it, but what else was there?

“Thank you Elijah.” You fluff out your lion pelt for added effect, if there was ever going to be one time you outdo the Mikaelsons’ especially Elijah in being dramatic with a coat or cloak of somesort, it would be now.

At this point the Kol and Rebekah have already looked up and were confused. Why are you dressed like that?

Kol is the first one to speak up “Darling, Rebekah likes a fashion show more than anyone, but why do you have a lion… on your shoulder.”

Lifting up your large ass shades you supplied an answer: “Black History Month”

They all looked at each other… they didn’t get it. Like they know what it is, but never actually understood how to celebrate and all that nor did they ever actually give it mind. When you saw that they weren’t making a connection, you started phase 1.

“Alexa, you know what to do.”

And there goes their manor playing: NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA NIGGA I’M ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NIGGA

LMFAOOOOO you got the white people shook. Klaus just dropped one of his expensive ass bottles of art sealants and is vamp speeding to the kitchen to figure out what the hell is going on. Elijah having a mid century crisis on how tf they even found you and deemed you worthy of being in their presence so casually. Kol is having fun in the back, still laughing at your get up. And Rebekah wishes she went to the mall instead, she wanted a girl bestie and got you instead rip

“WHAT IN BLAZES- Y/N WHAT ARE YOU DO- WHAT ARE YOU WEARING! ALEXA STOP THE MUSIC-” And the big bad wolf has arrived. You put your finger to Klaus’ lips which stuns him bc… you’re still HOOOMAN like damn, death wish much? And you look this man, straight in his mit and say “Looks at, look at me” and pause for dramatic affect, “I am the captain now”

Room silent as hell till Kol starts cackling

You’ve made Dr. Umar proud, the ancestors are shining on you once again

With that you lead into a whole speech about the black struggle and black history month, bottom line: REPARATIONS. Because being the only nigga in the Mikaelsons (we don’t claim Marcel) is exhausting, white people shit everyday that you complain about in their faces

TBH at this point they’re indulging you in this escapade.

First victim is Elijah, you ask for his wallet. He gives you a look, I mean he does technically give you what you want and whatever (when y’all dating, refer back to my dating Elijah post), so he ask you why. Reparations sis why, but then you stop yourself. This man gives you his wallet every other day, half the time you not even asking. What could you rob this man of…. Ah. You ask him for the deed of one of his estates in Prague, why? Because you bitches can’t even spell Prague. And under section S line 45 subsection Y it does state that estates are eligible for reparations. Fuck 40 acres and a mule, you got 300 acres, some stallions in the back, a quite possibly haunted mansion, and a heavy dicked (yeah I said it, a sis been trying to reality shift) original who will turn you out by the end of the day and the end of the month…. Wait till women's history month boo

We know his pockets figgity fat, and it would be figgity wack to not get some

Ngl you take Kol with you so he can buy you food. Granted, he knows what you’re doing, but if he’s going to spend money on anything it will be thawed and it will be music. However, one thing leads to another and you’re both at Wal-Mart waiting to find a parking spot. You stole one off a white minivan trying to move in. Not thinking anything of it because who in this small ass Mystic Falls ass, clown ass town really about it? Apparently Karen.

But you know who else what about it? Kol (tbh mans had nothing but time, and he claims you so why tf not.) he out here NY stomping on her and coming at her for badly glued extensions. Cheap ass bitch, ain’t even blend in correctly.

After that Kol and you left with some groceries, a new story to tell, and a chopped cheese.

With Klaus, he frfr wasn’t finna do shit. Being ordered my a human? Lmfao, go find another simp sis. But… once you suggest that his art skills may not be up to par on what you have in mind as a new family room piece for your house he’s all ears. He knows what you’re doing, but… he still wants to prove you wrong. But anyways, you give him a theme… reverse racism. IK y’all, it’s not a thing, but mans has ideas. And he outdoes himself. That and the recreation of the moorish chief bc that man...mmmmm that man was giving.

Ok so Google wanna hoe me, but there was a painting of a black man in a kkk cloak and behind him were white people being hung from a tree. Say what you want, but that photo was fire. If any of you seen it please share it below.

Anyways

Rebekah tbh wants no part in this, but I feel like she’d gave when you ask her to give you all the finest dresses bc it’s an excuse to exhaust Klaus’ money.

Through the month you give the Mikaelsons a run for their money, and maybe sanity. Klaus is in the back trying to research who tf Dr. Umar is and why is he your inspiration

They had to pull you back when the sheriff asked you for your ID. You ask why you needed white man paperwork!

You are pleasing the spirits, what bonnie could never do lmfaooooo. The powers of you enemies aren’t prospering this month nor next month.

You’re not poor this month, anything you poor of is pouring a little more (bars nigga)

LMFAOOOO imaging asking the fam to go to paris, like, they not invited it’s a self trip funded my the Mikaelson Y/N Trust Fund of Public Decency ™

Klaus would be the first one to speak because this man is TIRED, “Love, why do you need a trip to paris? What’s in Paris?”

Knowing better, you look to Kol to answer the question, “I don’t know, Kol, who’s in Paris?” Niggas b. Niggas in paris…. Lemme chill

LMFAOOO enjoy

#klaus mikealson x reader #klaus mikaelson #elijah mikaelson #elijah mikealson x reader #tvd x reader #the originals #black reader #black!reader #poc!reader #poc reader #niggasbelike

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buckys-other-punk · 3 years

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What the Hell is The Catch?

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Steve and Y/N are forced by their friends to go out speed dating. Little did they know they would find their perfect match.

Warnings: alcohol, fluff, teasing and cussing

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: HI I’m back!! First off, sorry @stuckonjbbarnes that this was late, I wanted to write this on time before the due date but my classes were literally beating my ass (BUT I did actually get inspiration for this fic idea by my stupid interpersonal relationships class so i guess that’s a win?) Anyways thank you for letting me join your writing challenge and ILY. Second, hello again! Hopefully my writing is still worth reading lol, since I have free time I will try to write more and hopefully complete my WIPs. As always, please ignore my minor mistakes (i’m lazy to edit) and lemme know what you think of this fic!

Bucky and Sam had somehow convinced Steve to go on a speed dating event at a nearby bar. Steve wasn’t really in the mood to go out and mingle with horny women. All Steve wanted that night was to relax in bed and watch a movie about this group of people who dream hop (a/n: aka Inception lol i couldn’t think of an easier way to describe this movie). Steve sat on his bed ready to watch the movie then his friends bombarded his space about how lonely he is. As much as Steve wanted to brush the two off they annoyed him so much that he caved in. Now Steve was sitting at some bar with a pen and questionnaire in his hand.

Natasha and Wanda had somehow forced you to go on a speed dating event at your guys’ favorite bar. You, having no choice, rummaged through your closet looking for a good outfit. ‘At least I’ll be getting free drinks.’ saying to yourself. You picked out a black dress that has lace sleeves which accentuates your curves. Nat and Wanda of course approved the dress immediately, they gave you your red clutch and shoved you out the door.

You huffed as you got out of your cab staring at the bar dreading to ‘mingle’ with men. Walking into the bar a couple greeted you with obnoxious smiles.

��Hello! Welcome to our single’s speed dating night.” the woman said, handing you a name tag. You took note of her flashy diamond ring. You returned the smile and wrote a random name on the name tag. “Is this your first time, Twyla?”

“Hmm?” you looked confused, then remembered your fake name. “Oh, Twyla! Me, I’m Twyla. Yes. sorry.” you replied.

“No need to be nervous dear.” the man next to her said. “We’re all here to have fun right?” he said with a smile looking around the area.

God, you hated being here already.”You two seem lovey-dovey. Did you two meet in one of these things?” you asked looking at the pair.

“Yes we did actually!” she said with a smile looking up at her man. “And just a few months later he proposed.” she added looking at her ring. You smiled then looked at the man, he looked behind you and quickly went back to his fiance. You turned slightly to “take in the area” and saw a woman with a flirtatious smile towards the man.

Rolling your eyes and glancing back at the couple. You just wanted to get some free drinks and go back home. “Are the drinks free?” you asked the couple.

“Yes, but-” the lady started to say but you waved her off grabbing the questionnaire on the table.

“That's all I need to hear. Thank you.” you said walking away from the pair and towards the bartender. “Hey, can I get a old fashioned please?” you asked the bartender who nodded and proceeded to make you drink. You scouted the area like you would on a mission and nobody was really peaking your interest. There was a woman who seemed right up your alley, but you had a feeling she wouldn’t swing your way. Sighing, you turned back to the bartender who handed you your drink. Taking a sip and pulling out your phone from your clutch you began texting the girls about how sad this event is and that you were ready to walk out.

“Can I have everyone’s attention please?” the lady from earlier said through the microphone in her hand. As you looked up from your phone you saw her fiance standing next to her with his own mic in his hand. His other hand holding the woman’s hand as he eyed a woman near him.

‘Dear lord. He’s going to cheat on this poor woman.’ you said to yourself. You downed your drink and signaled the bartender for another one.

“We are going to ask the guys to pick a table with a number on it and stay there. Ladies please go to the table closest to you and begin talking with your partner. Once you guys hear this bell.” the lady’s boyfriend rang lightly. “You can move onto the next table going counter clockwise.” she added with a giddy smile.

“Alright love birds. Let’s get this thing started.” the man said to the crowd. You grabbed your drink and headed to the table closest to you. You saw the man who was seated at the table, on his phone not really caring about the event. He was wearing a leather jacket and dark shades. ‘This dude is a douche.’ you thought to yourself, downing your second drink as you stood across from him.

“So, you come here often?” he says not looking up from his phone.

“Oh god, no.” you replied with a fake southern accent. “I just came because my boyfriend turned into a mountain lion and tried to kill me.” you said politely looking at the man.

“Oh that’s nice.” he said but then realized what you said. “I’m sorry…” he began as he pushed his sunglasses a bit down to read your name tag. “Twyla? Did you say he turned into a mountain lion?” he looked at you concerned.

“OH, yes!” you said ever so sweetly. “You see, Caleb wanted me to join his cult and I refused. He got so angry that his eyes began to turn yellow and he started clawing at his face with his hands. Just when he finished turning into a mountain lion, the high priestess of his cult commanded him to capture me to be their sacrifice for their next meal.” you said with a straight face, looking dead into the man’s wide eyes. His mouth was hanging open, speechless. Just when he was about to ask you another question you both heard the bell. The man sighed in relief downing his drink as you waved goodbye to him and chuckled as you walked to the next table.

____________________________________

Steve was staring at his drink as a woman walked up to him. He noticed that this was the woman who was eying up the man who hosted the event. Steve smiled at the woman anyways as he introduced herself. He looked down at his questionnaire trying to figure out what to ask the lady. The woman who talked to him earlier just wanted a rebound and the woman before that didn’t even say anything to him.

“So, I noticed that you don’t really have any interest in being here.” he said kindly, looking at the woman.

“Yeah, I just did this so I can get my boyfriend’s attention.” she replied looking back at the male host.

“Your boyfriend seems to be a bit occupied.” Steve said as glanced at the man and back to the woman in front of him. “Are you sure he’s worth it sweetheart? I mean I don’t know your situation with him right now, but it seems that if he’s with that woman you’re not his main priority.” he added looking at the lady in remorse.

She looked up at Steve and pondered to herself. “You know, I think you’re right. I mean I’m practically his side chick when I want to be his main chick.” she said to Steve. “Thank you for making me realize that he’s not worth it and I should get my priorities straight, Steve. I’m sorry to leave you here alone, but I hope you find someone who deserves your kindness.” she said kindly, patting Steve's hand as she began to exit the bar.

__________________________________

You noticed the woman who the male host was staring at earlier left the bar. ‘Good for her. Realizing that man ain’t shit.’ you said to yourself as you downed your third old-fashioned. You wanted to change things up..so you ordered a long island iced tea. The man who was sitting in front of you was going off about his sex fantasies and how he was looking for the right woman to please him. The previous man you only talked about work and was completely monotone.

You were completely ignoring whatever he was saying and waited for your drink and the damn bell to ring. A waitress brought your drink over and you looked around the bar as the strange sex crazed man kept going off about his fantasies. Finishing your drink in one go, since you weren’t drunk enough for this, your prayers were finally answered as you saw the lady host ring the bell. She seemed to be looking for her fiancé who left the bar to run after the woman, but she didn’t know that.

“Let’s make this next session a few minutes longer.” she said with a brief smile as she began to look for her fiancé. ‘Oh sweetie.’ you said to yourself feeling extra sorry for the woman. You grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter that was walking around the bar and sipped the drink as you walked to the next table.

While walking over to the next table not really paying attention to the man seated there, you were thinking of another crazy lie to tell the poor soul. Maybe lie about how you believe that an alien had taken over your body this very night and that the alien was looking for someone to bring back to their home planet. Or maybe that you believe that the world will be destroyed in exactly 24 hours from now and that the only way to save it is to kill a man who was at this very event. That idea might be too dark, but might scare them off.

As you approached the table you heard a familiar voice.

“Y/N?”

Looking up at the man in front of you in shock. “Steve? What the hell are you doing here?” you asked the man.

“Well, Bucky and Sam kind of convinced me to come down here and find a girlfriend.” he answered. “Why are you here?”

Right when you were about to answer he stopped you. “Wait, let me guess. Free drinks? Don’t you already raid Stark’s liquor cabinet every weekend?” he said with a smile.

“Hey, fuck you Rogers. I’ll have you know I was forced to come here by Nat and Wanda.” you said sassily but paused. “But I mean you’re right anyways.” you added chuckling.

“I guess our friends thought the same about our love lives.” he said while taking a sip of his drink.

“Yeah? And what’s that?” you smiled at him.

“We don’t have any.” he chuckled and you laughed along with him.

“I mean, you do have a point there Rogers.” you giggled as you finished your drink. You waved the waitress down ordering another glass of champagne.

“How many have you had?” Steve said motioning at your empty glass.

“I don’t know like 3 or 4? I’m not keeping count if they’re free.” you replied to the man.

“Well I don’t want you running off somewhere.” he said protectively.

“Rogers, you do know I have a strong alcohol tolerance” you asked looking at his blue eyes.

“Yes, but I still want you to be safe.” Steve replied as he drank his glass of water.

“Steve, I am literally an Avenger like you. I can take care of myself.” you huffed rolling your eyes. “You should live a little anyway, the drinks are free for a reason.”you added wiggling your eyebrows. This time Steve rolled his eyes and laughed.

“Fine, since you’re keeping me company for how long our little speed date is I’ll drink.” he smiled as he waved the waitress over and asked for a glass of whiskey. “But you do know that my alcohol tolerance is stronger than yours right?” he said, winking at you.

You giggled as your cheeks began to warm up. ‘Oh god, why is the alcohol now getting to me.’ you said to yourself as you gleaned around the room. You noticed that the host of your event went outside and found her fiancé.

Steve thanked the waitress as she returned with your guys’ drinks. He looked up at you and his eyes skimmed over your frame. He had never seen you in that dress before, maybe it was new? Regardless, you looked beautiful wearing anything. Taking a sip of his drink he looked towards where you were staring at. He saw the host of the event talking to her boyfriend aka the man that was cheating on her.

“I talked to the girl he was seeing.” Steve said.

“Yeah, I saw her leave the bar. Did you upset her?” you asked, looking back at the supers soldier.

“God no, I gave her advice.” he replied looking back at you. “I told her that he wasn’t worth it.”

“Smart. I was thinking of telling our host, but she seemed so in love with him I didn’t want to hurt her. I mean I am a stranger to her after all.” you admitted taking a sip of your drink.

“Hopefully, she’ll find out.” Steve shrugged. “So find anyone interesting?” he asked, changing the subject.

“Nope, I’ve been trying to scare most of them off.” you giggled as thought back to your first date.

“Why the hell would you do that?!” Steve laughed when he finally noticed your name tag. “Twyla? Y/N, you really didn’t want to be here huh?” he asked as he looked at you.

“Well, clearly no if I was messing with these poor men.” you chuckled while finishing your drink. “Why don’t we play a game since I don’t wanna mingle with anyone else right now.” you said as you looked up at Steve.

“What, now? What the hell is the catch?” he asked, eyebrows furrowed as he stared into your glistening eyes.

“Why does there have to be a catch? I’m just suggesting something to do, unless you do want to mingle with one of these women?” you replied with a quirked eyebrow.

Steve shook his head, “Not really, but I feel like you’re up to something.”

You shook your head no. “Come on it’ll be fun.” you begged.

“Ok fine. What did you have in mind.” he sighed as he looked at you.

“An easy game of Fuck, Marry, Kill.” you said with a smile. The alcohol was now affecting and building your confidence. You saw Steve’s Adam's apple bob as he nodded.

“Kill? That’s a little harsh.” Steve said as he looked at you.

“Seriously? Kill is harsh, but fuck is ok?” you whined at him and he nodded. ”Fine, then avoid instead of kill, you baby.” you added shaking your head.

“Who are your picks then?” he asked as he downed his drink.

“Simple, the lady you gave advice to, the woman in the very short dress and me.” you smirked as you took a sip of his water.

“Ok, avoid short dress woman, marry the woman I gave advice to and then have sex with you.” he answered honestly staring at you. You blinked in astonishment by his answer.

“Damn, Rogers you answered that way too quickly. Can I get an explanation as to why your answers came so easily?” you asked, staring at the blond.

‘Well, short dress woman I would avoid because I talked to her earlier and I was not feeling it. I would marry the woman I gave advice to because she seems to have good intentions.” Steve said confidently. “And I guess that leaves me to fuck you because I want to.” he added with lustful eyes.

‘Holy shit! Did he just admit he wanted to fuck you?!’ you thought to yourself as you sipped some water.

“Some bold words coming out of your mouth Rogers.” you said trying to think of something or anything to get more information about that last thing he said.

“Why is it bold, when it’s the truth.” he said looking dead into your eyes.

“Well then fuck me already.” you whisper winking at him.

A/N: Was that good? I hope this was good. I feel like there should be a second part to this with some smutty action 🤔 Again if you wanna be tagged in future fics, have any requests or just wanna chat hit me up!

Taglist: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings @sebtheromanianprince @aquabrie @who-the-hell-is-sebastianstan @anbrax5553 @wintersoldierissucharide @caplanbuckybarnes @miraclesoflove @kitkatd7 @saiyanprincessswanie @chaoticpete @fandomsandxfiles @hailmary-yramliah @coffeebooksandfandom @thefallenbibliophilequote

^please lemme know if you wanna be added/removed for future tags or dm me if I forgot you^

#dani’s 2021 #Steve Rogers #steve x reader #steve rogers x reader #reader x steve #reader x steve rogers #reader insert #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff

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muffindaddystyles · 4 years

Text

𝑫𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏.

Where Harry's five years old bubba gets lost in a park while playing hide and seek. You help her to find her daddy.

Warning: Emotional and whole lot of fluff <3

Pastel tutu frock, a lil bucket hat and shoes that makes 'puch.' 'puch.' noises when she waddles with her adorable toddler gait chasing her father.

It's still early in the morning less people more relieved Harry that he could spent some affectionate time with his lovin' little girl of four out in the park, as a single father he dresses her with more fashion indulgment than any mother could.

Cheeky smug He's. Kinda proud of it.

They were playing hide and seek a bit far from their picnic basket ontop of checkered blanket along her toys. She came all the way from their home to car and car to park sitting on her daddy's shoulders.

"Dawwy! That's cheatin'." She stomped her dainty feet into sodden lush grass underneath and Harry grinned booping her button nose just like his's, "cheeky bugger." He watched her in amusement when she caught his slender finger with her chubby ones, pouting cutely at him.

"Kay. lovie' we're gonna play, again." He assured her raising his palms in air taking two steps back at once, "this time no cheatin', promise." She bobbed her head enthusiasticly running to hide behind the nearest largest oak tree as her daddy told her not to go too far from him ever.

Harry was rounding her from other side when too impatient she went to found Harry on other side, "daw'wy!?" Her flight of run like a dove in sky was startled when she found her tall, curly head daddy nowhere in sight.

She toddled further away even though Harry has instructed her never to leave a certain place no matter what, her daddy would find her at the same spot if something happens.

"Bubba? love bug'?" He frowned as his daughter who just hid behind the same bark vanished. Not getting anxious he strided back to their spot but she wasn't there.

She has come so far away in search of her daddy at first she told herself that "she's daddy's big girl." . "she would get back to him and he'd give her alot of kisses." But then she got scared seeing alot of people here and there. Her ending point of bravery was when some little pal hit her with soft ball.

The pool of tears bursted like rainfall from her soft warm eyes, staining her coral chunky cheeks and she rubbed her glossy eyelids with the back of her hand with series of hiccups making her vision more blurry.

You were sitting under a shade reading a copy of Little Women. Eyes flickering when you poked your tongue out to collect some moist on your finger to turn the paper, right then your eyes fell over the cutest fuzz of a lil girlie crying with painful fat tears waddling her way lost towards the pond and with a loud gasp you left everything running towards her before she was too close to it.

"Hey. hey kiddo." You reached at the mean time quickly scooping her up in your arms and she sobbed out loudly, "dawwy!" You stroked her hair as she snoggled her snotty nose and moist face in the crook of your neck.

"Honey are you lost?" You tried to calm her down by rubbing soothing circles at her back and she nodded with incoherent blabbering.

"Lemme me help you, yeah? Do you know your parent's names." You asked her politely taking her back to where you were sitting under the large tree and she pulled her face out murmuring a tiny, "yesh." You beamed at her giving her a thumbs up.

"You're doing so good, darlin'." You tucked her loose curls under her ear and she tells you her father's name, "Hawwy. S'tyles." She doesn't have her way with 's and t's.' sounds so it was 'yles.' coming from her mouth and you had to comprehend it yourself.

"Honey you know his number?" She counts on her fingers as Harry made her learn his phone number in case of any emergency like this but she's so anxious she forgot, silent tears again spilling out from her struggle. "Sh. sh. lovie'. S'okay, you're okay. you're safe with me." You cooes at her softly wiping her tears and kissing her cheeks gently rocking her on your knees.

"B-but. dawwy!" She hiccups badly and you made her sip water, feeling pitiful for the poor bub.

"Bubs we're gonna find your daddy, yeah? you and me together are a whole power puff team!" You again rock her cheerfully standing up with her on your hip. Taking the challenge on yourself to find her daddy in no less time.

On the other hand Harry was loosing his mind. He pulled at his hair anxiously, worry drowning him into deep. Scared for his bubba. She's so little im this huge park. Harry never lets her dodge from under his wings and now he's on verge of getting a panic attack. He should have never came to park. He went from one person to another showing his petal's picture to them hands trembling as he did so.

"Sh-she's fou'. Little pink hat, tutu frock. Chocolate c-curls in specific." He gesticulated voice wavering and with everyone denying he went absolute crazy.

Tears glistening in his eyes and he's feeling as if he'd stop breathing. Putting his hand over where his heart is he took long strides of the whole park which's too big and in the end he fell on his knees with a thud onto grass when he couldn't find his only life, the piece of his heart nowhere. Sobbing loudly that made him bent outwards.

They live near by so he quickly dialed gemma. When she heard him sobbing onto speaker she abruptly stood up scaring Anne too, "Harry what happened?" She asked worriedly.

"Harry talk to me." She tried in a calming voice and he stuttered even causing Gemma to lost her breath, "d-dovie. lost her gem. fuckin' lost her. Couldn't find her." She was quick to act not telling Anne and assuring her she would in their car ride.

Harry was falling into his mum's embrace when they rushed to security department where Harry's at as the cops assured him that they'll find his daughter safe and unharmed.

He whimpered soaking her shirt. Whole body shaking, "can't lost her mum, she's the only one I've." She tried to calm him getting rid of her own tears.

"S'been two hours I've been searching her like a mad man. I'll fuckin' die if somethin' happens to her." At this Anne scolded him as gemma hugged him reassuring him. "It's m'fault. All m'fault." His tears and emotions were all where and he blamed himself.

"Shit father. never gonna forgive myself." Anne sighed shakily stroking his head. She has never seen her son crippling to this edge.

"She's fine. We'll find her."

Your back sweaty as the sun shines on you mercilessly while you hurriedly walked with Dove on your hip, her head on your shoulder resting sadly while you fanned her continuously with the paper fan and you breathed hunching a little seeing that some security department's few steps away from you. But, it's the one opposite from where Harry and his family are.

You immediately went to first table not waiting for your breaths to get back to normal, "hi. This's Dove Styles. Four. Lost." You informed them and they made you sit at the bench.

She was getting all tired and limpy from the crying. So you took her in your lap tucking her head under your armpit, "daddy's soon gonna come okay dove darlin'? Then he's gonna collect you fuzz baby in his arms." You took out a box of juice from your backpack tapping the straw against her rosy lips and you took in her features thinking how beautiful her daddy must be to her be this cute.

Even though her daddy has sternly taught her never to accept things from strangers but the poor babe's so exhausted she did.

Some cop came cop telling you they've found her daddy that he's at the other security building but you shook your head stubbornly squeezing her near to your chest. Because well you don't trust anybody not even the cops, most importantly not when it's a child.

"Tell her daddy to come take his child from here." The cop grunts at you. "Annoying lady." but you ignored him checking on dove cleaning her hands that were sticky from her drinking juice like how toddlers do.

You were hot on your feet when three panicked figures came rushing inside Dove on your hip and you asked her, "is that your da—" but you were cut off from her yearning cry.

"Dawwy!" It was like sky and ground meeting as Dove latched into Harry's arms, he was too ripped to shreds and with a loud whimper he feel stingingly onto tiled floor firm grip around his dovie's neck, forearm wrapped around her little body protectively. He clutched onto her for dear life, sponging endless kisses to her visible skin.

"Thought I lost ye' bubba...really thought–" He said in between wet kisses his tears smudging her cheeks and the duo's reunion infront of you made you sentimental too. "Never scare daddy like this dove. m'heart stopped." She muttered a 'sowwy.' At his anxious rambling.

"Forgive me, dovie. Daddy's bad." She shook her head. The four year old's too soft from heart to know what emotions are scowling at her daddy with her chubby palms pushing into his cheeks, "no dada." You smiled at her when she glanced back at you.

"Y/n helped mew. She say we were power puff girls." You chuckled that she still remembers ruffling her hair, "see? Told ya daddy was gonna find you." Harry rubs his nose wiping his tears standing up.

"Thank you so much, can't thank you enough." You found his voice so mellow even after hoarseness, "s'okay. She's safe that all matters." Anne and gem nodded while talking to Dove in baby voices telling her how worried they all got.

You were walking outside while talking to Harry, "and thank ye' fo' not trusting anybody you know...and no' lettin' her go." You assured him shaking his hand.

"No problem." You leaned down a little kissing her cheek, "and dove honey never go near to ponds, yeah?" She said a lil 'okie." wrapping herself tight around her father.

"Oh my god, dovie?" He asked her horrid at what could happen taking her chin but you quickly rambled not wanting to make him feel more panicked and anxious.

"She was crying and in haze that's why, she's okay now Mr. Styles."

"I owe you y/n. And please just call me, Harry." You nodded sheepishly now. Muttering a what the hell you fool at yourself and gemma quipped.

"Yes. Please have lunch with us?"

"Pwease?" You laughed out aloud at dove's innocent pleading deciding to let your English class go and bobbing your head at which Harry grinned, "perfect."

#harry styles #harry styles blurb #cute harry #fluff #harry angst #harry smut #hsh #imagines #harry #angst with a happy ending

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hops-hunny · 3 years

Text

Distance Makes the Heart Grow

CHAPTER 8

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Mafia Boss!Neville Longbottom x Reader

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 4k

Summary: (Y/n) lives a normal life. But that’s the issue, it’s normal, it’s plain, and it’s growing boring. Everyday she wishes for something, anything to spice up her life. But, when her old school friend (and crush) shows up at her bakery with a new look (and what looks like a new life), what will it bring for her? Will their puppy love grow? Will his big secret lead to the end of them or will it spark a new beginning?

Warnings: none!

A/N: sorry it took me so long. The rest of the date will be in chapter 9!

(Y/n) huffed, crossing her arms across her chest at the mess Twyla had made. Originally, she had thought asking her to help her get ready for her date was a good idea. The two of them hadn’t spent as much time together as she had liked too and she knew how much Twyla adored fashion. But now, as her various designer dresses and shoes were scattered around the floor along with makeup palettes that had been tossed aimlessly, her patience was wearing thin.

“Was this mess really necessary? I hope you know I’m not cleaning this.” she said, causing the girl to turn around. She tossed a dress on the bed beside the girl before continuing to sift through the manmade jungle she had caused.

“I know. Neither am I, that’s what the maids are for!” she turned, watching as her friend bit at her lip nervously, picking with the skin around the bed of her fingernails. “You know for someone going on her first date, I seem more excited than you do!” when she didn’t get a response she looked over at her shoulder giving her a concerned look.

“I-it’s not that I’m not excited! Trust me, I am. I’ve been waiting for this date for over 7 years. It’s just..” she sighed, looking away from her as her cheeks heated up in embarrassment. “What do you even do on a date? O-or say? What am I supposed to wear?!”

“A good date will flow naturally no matter what you’re doing. And you said Nev was taking you to some fancy restaurant but also on a gondola ride, right? Pick out a dress that’s fancy but also gives you flexibility. Hold up, lemme look I think I saw the perfect dress.” Twyla dove back into the pile of clothes, causing her to giggle at the sight. She continued to lift and throw things until she popped up letting out a loud ‘A-ha!’ she watched as the dress was tossed on the bed along with a pretty pair of strappy white sandals and a purse in the same shade of white. Once she picked the items up, Twyla began to shove her towards the bathroom with the items.

(Y/n) looked in the mirror, letting out a shaky breath. She felt beautiful, undeniably so. Twyla had already taken the liberty of styling her hair and doing her makeup. They had gone for a natural but ethereal makeup look. Dewy foundation, subtle but glowly highlight, a thick layer of gloss along with some individual lashes to make her eyes pop. She felt like a fairy, a princess even. Reaching a jittery hand towards the doorknob, she opened it peaking her head out. Twyla looked up smiling before her jaw dropped at the sight of her friend’s full appearance. Squealing she walked up to her, twirling her around to admire the full look. Sure, she had seen her in a dress before, and even makeup. But this outfit, this look, was much more like her. Yet Twyla couldn’t help but feel as though something was missing.

“Hmm.” she trailed, eyes gazing across the room. Her eyes lit up at the sight of what it was. The diamond encrusted crown lay gently on top of a velvet pillow along with the diamond necklace and earrings. She handed the earrings to (Y/n) to put on before placing the crown on top of her head. Turning her around towards the vanity, she unclasped the priceless necklace before placing it around her neck. “Oh my…(Y/n) you look so beautiful! Like a, like a princess.” she felt her ears tingle from her kind words, smiling as she admired her appearance in the mirror.

“Now, let’s talk lingerie.”

----------------------------

“Didn’t peg you for the nervous type, boss.” Blaise piped up, chuckling as Neville fiddled with his tie for what seemed like the thousandth time. He glared at the man through the mirror, grumbling under his breath. Blaise wasn’t wrong, he rarely was. The bigger problem at hand was that he was nervous and he didn’t know how to handle it. Neville had punched some of the most powerful men in the face, made people gravel and beg for their lives, hell, he had even killed men and throughout all of that, he had not an ounce of nervousness in his system. But now, when he was taking the little baker girl who he had been madly in love with since they met in school all those years ago, nervous was the main thing he felt. He was excited, sure, plenty, but in actuality he had never been on a real date with someone he had feelings for.

“Do you even know what to do on a date? You were quite the playboy before she came back into your life.” Ron added, mixing around the scotch in his glass, pouring some for Neville who instantly downed it, not even wincing at the taste.

“ ‘S not true!” he said, turning his head some to glare at him. Seamus cackled, wiping the invisible tears in his eyes as he slapped his knee.

“Please boss, you went through more women than George does bullets on a mission, which is a fuck ton.” he said, causing everyone else to agree. The guys had all gathered in the spare room to help him get ready, calming his nerves and even giving him a few pointers. Although a lot of the advice was useless, he was able to make sense out of some of it.

“Okay, well, suppose I am nervous. How should I...what should I do on a date?” he asked, coughing over the last part to cover it up. They all heard loud and clear though, starting to overlap one another before Blaise whistled, causing everyone to silence. Neville gave him a nod of acknowledgement.

“Well, did you buy her flowers?” Draco asked, breaking the silence. He scoffed at the ridiculous question.

“Of course I got her flowers! Did you really ask me of all people that? I picked and charmed a bouquet for her the other night. Each flower was handpicked from my garden with intention behind every single one of them.” he rolled up one of his sleeves, seeing if he preferred them rolled or down. Pondering it he decided to roll them down.

“Well combine that with what we’ve taught you and you’re all set.” Harry said, shrugging some as he looked up from his newspaper. Neville gawked at the men. Taught? The only thing they had taught him was that he needed better friends!

“Taught me?” he let out an exasperated laugh, walking towards them. “Taught me? You haven’t taught me shit! I’d have half the mind to-” a knock on the door caused his breath to hitch. The boys all gave each other knowing smirks but their jaws dropped as the door opened revealing the (h/c) girl in all her glory.

There she stood, skin glowing in the soft streams of sunlight that came from the evening Italian sun. The soft lace and tulle draped across her skin delicately, bits of sparkles from the fabric shining brightly. What caught his eye the most was the crown on her head. Even though he had saw it on her yesterday, it was having the same effect on him today.

“Holy shit.” Seamus whispered, forcing his mouth closed. Not a single pair of eyes weren’t on her.

“Listen, if Nev fucks his date up tonight…” Blaise trailed, causing the girl to giggle, looking at the ground shyly. She glanced up at him through thick lashes, watching as he made his way over to her. He bowed, pressing a kiss to her knuckles causing her to giggle some. As he looked up at her, a soft barely there smile graced his face.

“I don’t think that’ll be happening.” he said as he stood up, grabbing the bouquet of flowers from behind him before handing them to her. “What are you doing here, petal? I said I’d come get you from the room.”

“Twyla was really adamant about you seeing me as soon as possible.” she smiled at the scene that had taken place a few moments beforehand. “She said that I looked too good to be kept waiting.”

“You know, that girl’s always speaking nonsense but for once I’ve gotta say I agree.” Neville said, stroking her cheek gently as he leaned down, placing a soft peck on her lips. “Ready to go?” he asked. She nodded eagerly, wrapping her arms around his arm, waving before exiting the room with him. Seamus watched as they left before standing up, wiping his hands on his pants.

“Where are you going, Finnigan?” Harry asked, quirking a brow at him. Seamus smiled, winking some.

“Launching operation ‘make sure the date goes well’. You didn’t think I was gonna miss out on this did you?” Draco eyed him suspiciously as the vein in his forehead began to throb.

“Twyla set you up to this, didn’t she?” Seamus turned once he got to the doorway, flashing him a smile.

“ ‘Course she did!”

------------------------------

“Woah! I’ve never seen a car like this in person before.” (Y/n) said, in awe as she walked up to the vintage car. Neville smiled some as the driver came over, bowing as he opened up the door. He slid the driver a large bill, thanking him in italian.

“Yeah, you like it?” she nodded, looking back at him as he climbed in the back of the convertible with her. He pulled her into his side, pulling his Dior sunglasses over his eyes to protect from the evening sun. “It’s mine. Should I have it imported back to England?” her eyes widened. Although Neville had a lot of nice things, she never failed to be surprised when he had something new to show her. She leaned into his side, pulling her legs up onto the seat as the car began to move.

“It’s pretty. I think you should leave it here though. You know, as a memory of tonight.” She looked up at him, smiling some. Neville felt his heart race as he looked down at her. He felt breathless. Whatever he had done in the past years to have the angel of his dreams sitting next to him, going on a date, he’d do it all over again just to see the smile she was giving him. He leaned down, capturing her lips into a passionate yet loving kiss. Their lips locked till they were practically breathless, pulling away. (Y/n) let out a breathless giggle.

Neville pulled out another large bill, leaning forward to hand it to the driver. “Guida piano, sì?” the driver looked at him through the visor mirror, giving him a nod along with a knowing smirk. He sighed to himself as Neville turned back to the girl, laughing at something she had said.

“Ah, giovane amore.”

--------------------------------

Neville opened the door for the girl, holding her hand as she stepped out of the car. He decided first that they could get dinner. It’d be an easy way to set the tone for tonight and give him another opportunity to spoil her yet again. He made sure to pick the best restaurant money could buy but even then, she deserved more. More than money could buy. He smiled as they reached the reception desk, clearing his throat to catch the attention of the man behind the desk.

“Welcome sir, name?” he asked, looking up at the man cluelessly. A few others in the restaurant were noticeably tense, but continued to work.

“Longbottom.” he stated, watching as the man looked through the reservation book. He sucked on his teeth, giving Neville a fake look of sympathy.

“Sorry, it looks like you’re about 5 minutes late! I’m sure if you come back tommo-”

“Did you hear what I said? You might wanna listen closer this time. I’m Neville Longbotom.” the man behind the desk blinked at him blankly before his eyes shot up in a sudden realization. He began to scramble, trying to form some sort of apology. Neville slammed his fist on the desk, leaning forward as he began to speak through gritted teeth. “Just get me my fucking table, yeah? My lady should never be kept waiting and if she has to stand here for one more god damn-”

“Yes, yes! Right this way sir.” he said, grabbing the menus. At some point he dropped them but continued to walk, leading them to a private table near a large window. (Y/n) gasped, leaning against the window to look at the breathtaking view. Below her was the ocean, the sunlight cascading across it as seagulls flew around freely. While she was distracted, Neville took the opportunity to pour two glasses of wine before tapping her shoulder. She turned around, smiling at him.

“You seem to be enjoying the view. I take it the table choice is fine?” he asked, pulling her chair out for her. He pushed her chair up before taking a seat in the one across from her.

“It’s beautiful, I haven't seen anything like it. Last time I saw views this beautiful was Hogwarts.” she tensed slightly as he reached across intertwining their fingers, before relaxing. Her heart was racing wildly, a million different thoughts running through her head. Her and Neville had spent many moments together, far more intimate than this. But there was something so nerve wracking about being with him in public where anyone could see them. (Y/n) found herself growing self conscious about the pressure of it all, but decided to push it aside. She had been waiting for this for years and she wasn’t going to ruin it with a few negative thoughts.

“Yeah? If you like this, you’re gonna love what I have planned for after this.” he smiled at her. After this? He had more than this planned for them? Her wonderings of what it was didn’t last long when the bread was brought out, causing her eyes to light up. As soon as the basket was placed on the table she reached for a slice of the expensive bread, layering butter on it.

“Th-they’ve got the good bread! With the butter that’s all smooth.” she muttered with her mouth full. Neville bit his lip to contain his laughter at her childish display. “Y’know what I’m sayin,?”

He smiled at her, grabbing a piece of his own. “Somehow I do.”

--------------------------------------

After 30 minutes of good conversation and 3 bread baskets later, the two were finally ready to order. (Y/n) opened up the menu, gaping at it in confusion. There was so many elaborate names with descriptions even more confusing. Neville noticed this, pulling her menu down to look at her a bit.

“You alright, pretty girl?” he asked, ignoring the impatient waiter that was supposed to take their order.

“I’m alright it’s just...there’s so much confusion. All I wanted was chicken alfredo and I don’t even see it on the menu.” her eyes continued to scan the menu, becoming more perplexed as the names grew longer. Her eyes followed the tattooed finger as it pointed to a name that she didn’t even wanna think about pronouncing.

“ ‘S right there. Don’t worry dove, I’ll order for you.” her shoulders relaxed some as she gave him an appreciative smile. As he sent the waiter off, a silence fell over them. It wasn’t necessarily awkward, but it was clear something needed to be said and for once, it wasn’t on Neville’s end. Did she really wanna ask him now? ‘I should at least wait for dessert, that way it won’t be awkward if he says something I don’t wanna hear.’ she thought to herself.

The silence was encroaching, slowly becoming unbearable. It was suffocating, she felt like she was on a rope, dangling above all the words she wanted to say but couldn’t.

“So I-”

“Do you-”

They both looked at each other as they began to laugh. “You can go. I insist.” he encouraged, taking another sip of his wine before she could protest.

“I was just going to ask if you picked the bouquet yourself? It’s far too beautiful to be store bought, the flowers look happy.” she said, smiling down at the bouquet fondly. When the waiter first came, Neville heavily urged them for a vase to put them in. The waiter originally had been hesitant but when Neville’s jaw began to clench he quickly went to look for a vase in the back room. He smiled at her eye to detail, nodding as he cleared his throat placing his glass back on the table.

“Yeah I did.” he secretly snuck his hand across the table, the edges of their fingers brushing against each other. “Do you remember flower code?” she moved her fingers under his, smiling when he tightened his grip on her hand.

“Of course I do. We learned it together during the spring in the astronomy tower together. Best spring of my life.” she sighed fondly at the memory. “Forget-Me-Nots for true and everlasting love, violets for faith and affection, however, the tulips are leaving my mind. I can’t remember what they mean for the life of me.” she huffed, looking off as she tried to recall their meaning. He chuckled, placing a kiss on her knuckles. He trailed his kisses as far up her arm as he could reach from his position at the table.

“Tulips, well, tulips represent perfection and royalty because that’s what you are to me.” their eyes locked in a passionate gaze, (e/c) meeting his own dazzling ones. “My tulip, so perfect. I have every intention to treat you like royalty.” she was left wordless. Was this all real? She had read many fairy tales growing up and now here she sat, experiencing one of her own. Sure, those fairytales never had dangerous tattooed men with hearts of gold, but the way he looked at her, holding her with such delicacy let her know she had found her prince charming.

---------------------------------

(Y/n) was thankful she had worn a dress because if she had worn jeans? The button would have flown straight off her pants. Her alfredo was delicious, every herb and seasoning used done so perfectly. Not another bite could fit in her. However, when the dessert menu (that featured pictures of each and every dessert) was brought out, she didn’t see why it wasn’t a good idea to get dessert!

“It all looks so good! Like I made it, but better.” she breathed out, eyes scanning the dessert menu eagerly. But when she saw the triple chocolate cake, it was like she was falling in love all over again. “This. We need this Nev or else I might die.” he laughed at her serious expression, rolling his eyes some.

“Alright, love. Un ordine della torta al cioccolato, per favore.” the waiter nodded, writing it down before walking off again. The same silence from before fell over them but this time, she was going to do it. She sighed, grabbing both his hands in one.

“Listen, Nev. There’s been something, or someone, I’ve been meaning to ask you abou-” her eye began to twitch as a familiar figure stood next to their table. She gave her a bone chilling smile before turning to Neville who was much to her surprise, even more upset than she was.

“Ah, Neville! What a pleasure it is to see you here!” she said, holding out her hand for him to kiss. However he glared at it, leaning back in his seat.

“Can I help you Gisele? Actually even if I can, I don’t want to. Get lost.” he said, waving his hand for her to go away. But as expected, she didn’t budge. She leaned forward onto the table, gripping the edge with her red manicured hands. Her cleavage was on display as a fake pout graced her face. “I’m on a date and I’d rather not see you.”

She gasped, placing a hand on her chest in surprise. “A date? Oh my, is that what this is? Gosh I am so sorry! When I met, er what was it? Ah, (Y/n), over here the other day she said you weren’t together!” he raised a brow at this, looking between the two.

“You two met? Why didn’t you tell me, love?” he asked, turning his attention to the girl. She gave Gisele a disgusted one over before looking back at him.

“Well, it wasn’t exactly the most pleasant meeting.” she pushed out, looking at him. He rubbed at his chin a bit as he hummed.

“Really? Do you recall what she said to you?” he asked, knowing it couldn’t have been good. Gisele’s expression gave it all away. Although she feigned being unbothered, her expression was slowly cracking.

“You know as a matter of fact, I do! She said I was a knock off version of her and that you were using me as a replacement for the original!” she said, giving Gisele a wide tooth grinned. Gisele’s lips were parted as she searched for the words to say, mind blanking.

Neville looked between the two girls as he took a sip of his wine. “Now that you mention it, you two do look alike. I never really noticed though, I didn't spend much of any time looking at her face. But now that I am…” he trailed off, eyes tracing Gisele’s features, “You’re definitely not a knock off of her. I think it’d be an insult to you to even insinuate that she’s a knock off of you!” Now it was her turn to be surprised. Had he really not noticed their semblance to one another? It was clear now that not only was it a coincidence, but Gisele’s whole story was a lie.

“You- I- you ruined everything!” she shrilled, stomping her foot angrily. “That should be me in your seat, me on this..” she tuned her out as she looked at her own glass of wine. It would be a shame if the wine was to somehow end up on her ugly little polka dot dress. She squinted her (e/c) eyes, watching as the wine splashed all over the girl’s dress. Gisele paused mid sentence, gawking at her dress. Neville began to cackle, eyeing his date suspiciously. His thoughts were confirmed when she sent him a wink.

“My dress! Look what you did to me!” she wailed, motioning to the giant red stain on her dress. A few people turned to look at them all, whispering as they pointed at the girl.

“Me? I didn’t lift a finger.” she said, shrugging as she gave her an innocent look. “I suppose that’s what happens when you meddle in people’s business.”

“Is there a problem ma’am? Sir?” the voice sounded familiar, but an octave deeper. Turning her head her eyes widened at the sight of both Twyla and Seamus. Both of them were in costumes, fake beards and mustaches on their face along with wigs. She went to say something but when the blonde put a finger to her lip, she quickly decided against it.

“Yeah we got a complaint from the head chef. You’re to be escorted out of here immediately. Come along now.” Twyla said, dragging Gisele along with her. Seamus went to follow but was stopped by Neville. He pulled him close, leaning near his ear.

“Next time if you’re gonna spy on your boss, make it a bit less obvious.” he pat his shoulder, tightening his grip. “Although I’m glad you were able to handle this, I’m gonna ask that you leave. It’s not a suggestion but an order from your boss. I’m a big man, I can handle my date on my own.”

Seamus nodded, tipping his hat to them both. “Boss, mini boss.” and with that, he was gone. Neville turned to her, thanking the waiter once the cake was sat down in front of them, two golden forks on the plate.

“Let’s have dessert, shall we?”

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TAGSLIST: @vayeya11 @pink-hufflepuff @clancyscookies @elemental-of-magic @beewitchedlou @simpforremuslupin @mottergirl99 @nevillelongbottomsgirlfriend @redpanda-poetry @vibingaesthetically @de4d-s0up

#Neville Longbottom #neville x reader #neville longbottom x reader #neville x you #neville longbottom x you #Harry Potter #harry potter x reader #harry potter imagines #harry potter imagine #mafia!au #mafia!neville

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luytenae · 3 years

Text

Fishing lesson

Hello there! Enjoy another one of the kiss prompts!

Kiss number 22: in a rush of adrenaline

Matenro, the division from Shinjuku, had an entertaining tradition. Every once in a while, whenever their days off coincided with each other’s, they would go fishing. It was a hobby Jakurai had in common with Hifumi, and Doppo ended up tagging along with them. This weekend would be no different, and the doctor even made a reservation to have a guaranteed spot...

If it wasn’t for Doppo’s boss.

“I am truly sorry, sensei… I am just garbage, the worst kind you can find, and I ruined our day out…-“

The salaryman apologised, showing once again his low self-esteem, and sounding pitiful even during a phone call. Jakurai felt he wasn’t helping Doppo enough during their appointments.

“Do not worry, Doppo-kun. Don’t say such things, as it is not your fault after all. We will go fishing the next time, alright? There’s no need to be so hard on yourself…”

Jakurai cut him during his speech, not wanting Doppo to deprecate himself. He knew well his teammate was sorry, so everything the doctor needed to do for him was to reassure and calm him down. After all, Doppo didn’t ruin a single thing nor was his fault. If it was someone’s fault, it would be his boss for not respecting his leisure time. As he had predicted, Hifumi would make him company in order to finish Doppo’s tasks as soon as possible, so it would be just him at the fishing centre this time.

After –once again– reassuring the couple at the other line of the call that it was going to be all right, he hanged up the phone, making a half smile as he put it back on his pocket. He found lovely how Hifumi could be so devoted to his partner, sacrificing his own day off to help him and keep him company. With his teammates still on his mind, he started gathering his supplies: fishing rod, a replacement reel, lures and everything else he could need.

Just when he was going to leave his house, his phone buzzed again, this time receiving a call from someone completely different.

“Hey hey old coot! Whatcha doing on this loooovely Saturday morning?”

Ramuda’s voice announced him as cheerful as usual. Of course, who else would call him during his free day?

“Why, good morning to you too, Ramuda-kun. I was about to go fishing-“

He announced, holding his phone with his shoulder as he fetched his car keys, opening the vehicle’s trunk to start packing his gear.

“Ohh, one of your booring hobbies? Lemme guess, you’re going with your teammates, right?”

The fashion designer laughed at the other side, rummaging through his desk to pick a lollipop to unwrap and enjoy.

“That was our initial plan, yes”

Jakurai left out a heavy sigh, deciding that his gear could wait for a little, as he found himself incapable of holding the phone with his shoulder as Doppo could do.

“What do you mean with initial?”

Curious, the younger man popped the candy out of his mouth, paying real attention to Jakurai.

“I mean that they cannot come this time, so I am going alone”

“Boo-hoo, then Jakurai must be feeling soooo lonely!”

His curiosity changed to a tone that could be considered a mock or real concern. The doctor, knowing his partner, interpreted his words like what they were: something in between; real concern disguised with jokes, because that’s just how Ramuda was. Jakurai laughed softly, shaking his head a little.

“Why don’t you come with me, if you are so concerned about me being lonely?”

A small gasp was heard at the other end of the call, audible enough for Jakurai to notice the fashion designer’s surprise.

“Uh-mhhhh, fishing sounds a bit too boring for someone like me, but I guess I could go and make you some company! Don’t want my old man to be all gloomy!”

That was Ramuda’s way to announce that he was free and willing to go with him, if only he was honest enough to recognize he wanted to spend the day together with his lover.

“Alright then. I’ll be at your place in 30 minutes, so get ready. I guess you do not have a rod, do you?”

“Nuh-uh! As I told ya, I’ve never went fishing. You see, I don’t have grandpa’s hobbies!”

“Very funny, Ramuda. I’ll lend you one of mine, then”

“Wow, so cool! Thank you babe! See you real soon!”

Before Jakurai could reply, Ramuda ended the call, leaving the older man wondering whether he liked or not to be called “babe”. Letting that aside, he finally got everything in the car and, before heading to Shibuya, he came back home and fetched another rod for his new companion.

As scheduled, the doctor was in front of Ramuda’s shop just in time, only to see Ramuda was waiting for him. Jakurai chuckled, not expecting him to take fishing so seriously. He was dressed with a knee-length jean overall full of patches, a plain and short-sleeved blue crop top, matching sneakers and bucket hat.

“I didn’t imagine you would take this so seriously”

The doctor announced jokingly, rolling down the window and inviting the designer in.

“I must follow the aesthetic, you know!”

Replied the designer, opening the door and hopping in the passenger’s seat, grabbing the seatbelt and securing it. He then kissed his partner on the cheek as a greeting, giving him a paper bag.

“And I got you something too! You gotta be fashionable if I’m coming with you. I can’t let you ruin my reputation as a top designer”

Sceptically, Jakurai took the bag before starting up his van, checking what was inside. The contents surprised him, as he was expecting a present like the one he received last time –when Ramuda gifted him that one hat with the “women want me, fish fear me” phrase–. This time it was also a hat, but a decent one. One Jakurai could wear without having everyone’s eyes on him. The doctor smiled, putting it on and kissing his partner’s cheek.

“Thank you for gifting me this. I shall cherish it”

Ramuda giggled, opening a lollipop and lifting it cheerfully.

“You’re soo cheesy! I just wanna see you dressing fashionable for once, and not like a grandpa!”

Soon enough, the couple headed to the fishing centre, Jakurai driving back to Shinjuku. The ride was short and full of bickering from Ramuda to Jakurai and vice versa, since the doctor couldn’t help but fall right into the other man’s shenanigans.

After parking the car, they both got out of the car –Ramuda previously put on a pair of sunglasses–, got the fishing gear, and proceeded to go in. The staff welcomed the older man, as he was a regular there; and was asked about where did his teammates were as well as who his new companion was. It didn’t take them longer to realize he was the leader of Shibuya division, because Ramuda soon started to behave like, well, like him. The room was soon filled with cheers echoing how cute he was, as the designer was laughing and taking pictures with everyone that wanted one.

“I’m glad you’re already having fun, Amemura-kun. I can’t wait to see how will you react to fishing itself”

Jakurai waited for the crowd to calm down, heading right to his partner and gently reminding him what were they going to do. The smaller man put his phone back on his pocket, grabbing his boyfriend’s hand and going with him to the ponds.

“Since it’s your first time, I should tell you about this place”

The older man led the way, waltzing around fellow fishermen and families that went to enjoy their day.

“This is the Ichigaya Fish Center. People from both Shinjuku and other places frequent it, and, as you can see, it is family friendly. That’s because they don’t have a focus on professional fishing, having a small pond with goldfish that’s very popular among children”

Seeing his usual spot free, Jakurai went there, placing everything –starting by opening their chairs– down. Ramuda launched himself to the chair, enjoying the remains of his lollipop while the doctor continued his explanations.

“Since it’s your first time fishing, I’ll guess you don’t know how a rod works, am I right?”

“Yup! I mean, I know that you have to use a bait and things like that…”

Ramuda stopped mid-sentence, appearing paler and frowning.

“Wait wait waaaait a minute there. I’m totally NOT touching a worm, for your information!”

Jakurai laughed, sitting by Ramuda’s and starting to assemble both rods.

“Rest assured, it is not allowed to use live baits. They only permit mashed baits, so you will not be touching any worms”

The young man let out a relieved sigh, now intrigued by the doctor’s assembling task. He would ask him whenever he got a question, no matter how silly it could be; and Jakurai replied with pleasure, thanking Ramuda’s interest. It didn’t take them long to be completely ready, Jakurai handing Ramuda a rod and making sure he was holding it right.

“Always make sure to tie the knot tightly. A bad knot may make you lose a good catch. Understood?”

“Right and clear, mister!!”

And, like that, Jakurai taught his partner how to throw the rod, what led to a couple of failed attempts –where a fisherman’s hat was related, as well as an apology for “fishing” his hat– and a final success that made Ramuda enthusiastic enough to keep going.

“It’s important to know that fishing takes patience. Do you think yourself capable of such thing?”

Jakurai joked, receiving a pout as a reply from the pink haired man.

“I can be pretty patient if I want, humph!”

“Alright then. Keep an eye on your bobber, and if you see it shaking, then a fish is nibbling on the bait. If you see it going completely under the surface, quickly set the hook before losing the fish”

“Aand… How do I do that?”

His question was answered with actions: a fish happened to nibble on Jakurai’s bait, and he took that as an opportunity to teach Ramuda.

“It’s simple. You just have to do this–“

As soon as the bobber submerged completely, the doctor quickly rose the pole, pointing it straight in the air.

“By doing this, the fish will swing to you. Like that, you will have successfully catched a fish”

The designer looked at him in awe, amazed by the scene –and by how hot the doctor when he rose the pole–. He set down his rod and rushed to Jakurai, who was now holding his catch gently.

“Remember to hold it carefully. Pond fishes don’t usually have sharp teeth, but you may find fishes with spiny fins and, overall, they are very slippery. You have to hold them behind the head, without fear and gently”

Ramuda looked at the carp full of curiosity, admiring how his partner was holding it. He estimated that it was about 60 centimetres long, and laughed at the sight of its moustache.

“Before releasing it back, we remove the hook with these–”

Jakurai motioned to his other hand, showing a pair of needle-nose pliers. He took out the hook with ease, showing his skills and how accustomed he was to the activity, leaving Ramuda to wonder for how long he has been fishing.

The younger man took out his phone, making the doctor pose for a picture. Jakurai agreed happily, letting him take a picture.

“This is bringing back some memories! I used to be your teacher, but you’re the one teaching me now!”

They both smiled bitter-sweetly, remembering the old TDD days. The bitterness didn’t last long, because now everything was in the place it should be. No more misunderstandings that could make everything tangle up the way it was tangled before.

“Now it’s your turn, Ramuda-kun. Show me what you can do”

As soon as the picture was taken, Jakurai put the fish back on the pond, watching it swim away before sitting back and launching again his rod.

“Alright! Well then, here we go!”

Ramuda launched his pole, looking to Jakurai occasionally in order to check if he was doing it right. After he reassured him, he gazed again to the bobber, frowning as he focused on the task.

“UGH! This is taking forever! Why don’t they come faster?! Silly fishes!”

As the older man had anticipated, after 10 minutes motionless, his partner lost what little patience he had.

“What was the first thing I told you before starting, Ramuda-kun?”

“That it takes patience…”

He replied, somewhat irritated and frustrated.

“And what did you answer?”

Jakurai kept the conversation going, taking his chance to bicker the designer.

“Geez, I know, I know! I gotta wait! Now shut up, old coot!”

The lilac haired man laughed, launching his rod back in the water and providing Ramuda with small talk to help him overcome dullness. As someone who had lots of energy, he needed to be in constant movement; and activities such as fishing could be frustrating due to long waiting times and needing to be calm and quiet. For that, they kept talking about whatever topic they could find, keeping the designer entertained and focused –not losing his patience was the main goal–.

Their counting, after a while, was still negative for Ramuda. Jakurai managed to catch three medium sized carps and a big one, whereas the younger man only had a couple of failed attempts.

“I swear if I don’t get one the next time, I’m launching this stupid rod to the pond and never coming back!”

The doctor could notice how this was more frustrating than entertaining for his partner, and started to feel sorry for bringing him here. But the feeling didn’t last long, because soon enough Ramuda’s bobber went underwater again.

“Now, Ramuda-kun! Do it as I taught you, quickly!”

The designer reacted swiftly and, thanks to his efforts, he finally succeeded and raised the pole straight, catching his first fish. He grabbed it just like Jakurai told him to, and right after taking out the hook, he started to jump enthusiastically, laughing with pride and showing off his “prize”.

“Look!! I got it, I got it!!”

He couldn’t help but laugh, smiling widely for his picture. The doctor felt relieved, letting his recent thoughts go away, washed by his lover’s laugh.

“Yes, you did it very well. Congratulations on your first catch, my love”

Moved by the adrenaline, Ramuda jumped to kiss him after releasing the carp, clutching to the doctor’s neck and trusting him to hold him. The kiss was eagerly replied, Jakurai caressing his hair after putting him down again. The designer’s broad and sincere smile was something he would never get tired of watching.

“See? You just needed to be patient”

#hypnosis mic #hypmic #ヒプノシスマイク #jakurai jinguji #hypnosis mic jakurai #ramuda amemura #hypnosis mic ramuda #jakuramu #jakurai x ramuda

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ashenbun · 3 years

Text

-= 19 - Soul =-

[ Tw: dysphoria ]

It had been six moons now since Rhes had welcomed his newest Ward into his care. A bright young man named Seoras whose image was every bit the opposite of Rhes' own; dark skin instead of ashen, vibrant auburn hair instead of gray and deep hazel eyes that made Rhes think of an excited cat. Seoras was lanky, his movements showing a care that few youngsters grasped this early on. He'd managed to sneak up on Rhes several times and that was impressive in itself.

But lately the young man hadn't been quite himself.

Where there had been excitement in learning the skills and ways of being a Warder was now replaced with hesitance. The constant questions to learn the why of the things outside the village had gone silent. Even the young man's usually smiling eyes had gone flat and often downcast.

He was not himself.

"Here, kid." Rhes spoke up as they prepared the stone border for their campfire. He was careful to keep his tone of voice calm. "Y'daein' aricht? Ye've no quite been yersel' this last wee while. Some'hin' botherin' ye?"

Those hands hovered over the rock that had just been placed and it took Seoras quite some time before he actually spoke. When he did it was hesitant and- if Rhes was hearing correctly- fearful?

"Do you ever… Hmn." Seoras paused, starting again. "When you lookit your hands, do they ever... feel… not yours?"

Now it was Rhes' turn to pause, placing down the rock he held but keeping his hand on it. His brow drew down into a soft frown.

"Naw, can't say I've ever experienced tha' one. Y'feelin' okay?"

"Yes… and also no? It's like… lately I don't feel like me? I-I know that I'm me- that I'm here and alive- but my… me? It feels wrong somehow. That probably doesn't make sense…"

Seoras was right. To Rhes it wasn't really making much sense. How could someone not feel like themself? Sure, there were days when inner sadness could overwhelm and make someone feel like they weren't real, but his intuition told him that wasn't quite what Seoras meant.

"Ye mean like yer possessed or some'hin'? Or y'feel like yer in a walkin' dream?"

The young man shook his head as Rhes prodded, sitting back on his heels and forgetting about the rocks for now. His body had relaxed and the note of fear was almost completely gone. Once the words begun they didn't seem to stop. Whatever Seoras needed to figure out, it had clearly been haunting him for some time now.

"No quite? It's… It's like when ye dream of being someone else, yeah? One of those long dreams that when ye wake up it takes a bit to shake the feelin' of being that other person. Only… that feelin' hasn't gone away. It's got stronger. So this," Seoras brought his hands up to tap gingerly against his chest, "feels… wrong."

Finally, Rhes' brain managed to piece together what that possibly could mean. His eyes looked over his Ward in a new light and he, too, sat back and ignored the firepit for the moment.

"I think I getcha. Lemme ask ye some'hin' then, kid; d'ye miss th'village? Is this life no fer you?" When Seoras went to object, Rhes rose a hand. "Aye, I ken, boys cannae stay there, but entertain th'thought. If ye coul' go back, live that life wi' th'women, woul' ye wannae?"

Seoras fell silent. The frown that he had placed on the half built firepit was so intense it might have bored through the rock if he kept on for long enough. Eventually, he nodded, and Rhes gently asked his next question.

"An' when ye think've that scenario, in yer heid how dae y'dress…?"

Seoras turned to simply stare at him. Those hazel eyes were wide enough to swallow Rhes whole. Though his mouth worked, no sound came out. And none were necessary. That expression told Rhes everything he needed to know.

He remembered once, when he was still very young, of a Warden returning with their Ward. The youngster had been crying, but the adults had been smiling and when Rhes had asked his mother about it later she had simply said, "They understand who they are now."

He hadn't understood back then. It wasn't until many summers later when he met that same Ward, transformed, as she handed Kosve over to him that those words finally made sense. That what was inside sometimes didn't match the outside. That sometimes Wards would come back before a full summer and the next day the women would have another pair of hands join theirs. Or one of the older Warden's would appear outwith the gathering time and leave with a Ward no one had seen before but was too old to have gone unnoticed.

And there was no shame in that.

"Dae me a favour, wee yin," Rhes spoke quickly, the tone of his voice back to normal conversation in order to jolt Seoras back out of their mind. "I'll finish up th'firepit, you awa an' find us some decent wid fir a fire, aye? As much as y'can fit in those arms."

Seoras fumbled a moment as the world around them came back into proper focus. Wobbling to their feet they strapped on their quiver, picked up their bow and slung it over a shoulder. There was a brief hesitance, as if Seoras had another question, but it went unanswered as the youth scampered off to complete his task.

The moment his Ward was out of sight, Rhes abandoned the firepit and moved to the bundle of fabric that served as his fèilaedh-mòr and began to spread it out across the hard ground. There was enough fabric to wrap around his body and then cover his upper half in a cloak-like manner. Easy enough to half it. He'd just have to make do with cold shoulders in the rain for a while.

Rhes grabbed his hunting knife and sliced the fabric roughly in two with a good deal of effort. Now came the hard part.

Seoras returned after the shadows had moved a full hand over, laden down with wood of various sizes and shapes in a pile so large they could barely see over it. When it was dropped beside the firepit with a clatter, they frowned. It was still not finished. In fact, it was exactly the same as it had been when Rhes requested firewood.

"Uh… What have ye been doing?"

It hadn't meant to sound accusatory but Seoras would be lying if they weren't a little irked at having done so much work when Rhes had sat here doing nothing. Looking over, they found Rhes lounging against a nearby fallen log he had dragged over to function as seating.

"Close yer eyes."

"Excuse me…?"

"Ye heard me; close yer eyes."

Seoras did as instructed, albeit with a confused grumble. Their frown deepened as the sounds of Rhes scraping about and flapping some sort of fabric made them want to peek. His footsteps came closer until Seoras was certain that Rhes was within arms reach.

"Righ'. I've no done awny'hin' like this a'fore but it's th'best I could dae. Y'can open yer eyes noo."

Once more Seoras did as was requested and found both hands flying up to catch a gasp that all but jumped out. Using half of his fèilaedh, Rhes had managed to fashion a very simple dress. It had no sleeves and the stitching was very rough, but at that moment, as pieces of the puzzle slid into place, Seoras didn't care.

The youngster darted forward and slammed into Rhes' chest. They weren't tall enough to hug him properly so instead they settled for squeezing the life from his waist. Tears they hadn't known were hiding burst forth in relief of acknowledgment. Of realisation. Rhes brought a hand up, placing it gently atop that head of bright auburn hair while the dress stayed pinned between the pair of them.

He held onto his young charge until that river exhausted itself and a pair of bleary eyes looked up at him, tentatively fingering the dress. The laughter that bubbled up was one of joy. A piercing beam of sunlight finally breaming through a clouded sky.

Tomorrow their journey began anew.

And in two suns time, a new pair of hands would join the women in their work.

#ffxivwrite2021 #prompt 19 #eyyy what up we're back!#had this idea a while just not the time- or a fitting prompt- to write it for #cw: dysphoria #transgender #highly self indulgent but #do i care?#naw~#male viera #ffxivwrite #flash fiction

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sly-merlin · 4 years

Text

killing me - 5 | n.y

pairing : law student!reader + yuta

genre : angst , mafia au/ arranged marriage au , smut

warnings of this chapter : slight mention of weapons , cursing

summary : “life’s never fair y/n. realise it as soon as you can . it is the only secret for living a regretless life.”

“ curiousity got the cat hitched”

taglist :: (not tagging the old ones because they have read it already bt if u want , lemme know! ) @yiyi4657 @sorrywonwoo @sillywinnergladiator @suhweo @exfolitae @minejungwoo

{reposting because of the stupid tag problem}

K.M masterlist

k.m 4 k.m 6

tuesday

“How’s everything doyoung?” taeyong’s deep voice echoed through the spacious basement.

“I have double checked, just in case. CCTV’s are handled, there would be no interference, like always, but -”

“But!” taeyong raised his brow at doyoung.

“You can’t deny that yuta is best with knives so why not just let him join as well?” he verbalized his opinion. Despite only doyoung speaking, it was beyond doubt that every single men in the room agreed with him. Yuta paired well with his knives and pistols, proving to be an asset for the already well packed, trained squad.

“It sounds more like you chickening out than your concern for the assignment do!” taeyong replied, giving doyoung a smug smile. Doyoug would rather fix affairs outside the business than being involved directly but taeyong loved teasing him for choosing the more sheltered option.

“When have I ever done that!” doyoung’s high pitched voice earned him few laughs from the room. “But you know-

“I’m not going to fall for your sweet tongue. Save it for others!” doyoung sighed loudly, focusing again on his holster.

“I CAN’T FIND THE SUPPLEMENTARIES” mark shouted from other side of the room addressing no one in particular. Taeil grimaced at his voice, running to join him near the cabinets he was rummaging through since forever.

“What are you missing? And don’t shout next time!”

“Aah sorry hyung. I want some magazines. Last time I fell short of them.”

Taeil nodded briefly and went on helping him in finding bullets for his personalized gun.

Everyone was getting ready for some action at the centre of gangnam. Some protection fee disagreements had led to a clash with some other faction, needing immediate action. A strike at the centre of well-protected city was never easy but that was the reason that mafia in seoul was mostly underground and well hidden. People knew what was taking place in their surroundings but no one was aware of the sources from which it materialized.

“Am I not invited?” all the heads turned towards the rather small metal door. Yuta was standing on the stairs, his body leaning forwards, supported by his hand on the upper frame of door.

“No. you are not.” taeyong said while moving his head playfully, flinging a knife back and forth to show yuta what he was missing. thrill

“Oh come on, you guys can’t go without me. They are called dagger’s troop for a reason.” he descended the stairs, making a dramatic slow entry to the room. “And to handle them, you need me. The dagger king himself!” his exaggerated hand gestures were now irritating taeyong.

“It’s a no again. And besides we have our switchblade prince so we’ll hardly need you.”

“Ten has never handled them before and you need someone experienced to wrap up quickly. He is short-

“Short and skilled who taught you to use knives in the first place, yuta. Don’t make baseless arguments. If you want to do something, then go, sit with the techies. Maybe you’ll learn some tech from min or hyuck or you can join renjun and xiaojun in the med facility. Absorb their energy and acquire some patience! You need it more than they do actually”. Everyone was now focusing on their heated convo.

“Taeyong, I agreed to your proposal that is clearly not in any way beneficial to me, so now, you have to restore me here. I’m needed and you know that!”

“You are needed indeed. But that doesn’t mean we can’t do it without you. You are useful until you are not dangerous. This is underground yuta. An apology won’t make up for something that you’d lose forever and you understand what I’m saying. So please move out.” taeyong’s stern voice echoed in the room again. Yuta wanted to argue back but the words got stuck in his throat. His hands went through his already messy hair whilst he eyed a chair with infuriation.

Glancing one last time at taeyong with his hooded eyes, he hit the chair with extreme force, leaving the room immediately. Ascending the stairs he felt too many emotions at the moment. He has never felt like an inconvenience to his own people before, his most slips ups just going unnoticed by everyone. Others, rather than being seen as a trouble appreciated the expertise he acquired here. Until specific someone decided to barge in!

*******************

Wednesday

“We should eat here more often, I’m so glad the café was full!” yugyeom and yeong nodded their heads in agreement. The three of you were sitting in the garden next to the cafeteria, eating your sandwiches. The sky was filled with grey clouds, the cool breeze brushing your skin and shirts flowing in the wind’s direction. The weather was happy and so were you all.

“Give that scarf a break y/n. it’s been two days. This combination is an eye sore!” yeong told you off earning an eye roll from you.

“It’s the 3rd day!” gyeom corrected her.

“Yaaah! Who bought you the sandwich!” you huffed at him. As you expected, yeong pinched her nose, showing how disappointed she was in you.

“Y/n. you need to start the exercise again.”

“Noooo” you whined at her, wriggling your whole body. you’d rather choose staying in the dorms than doing her fashion exercises!

“Before leaving the room in the morning, you will send me a picture of your outfit. I don’t want to do this like last time so please don’t argue. Thank you and now please remove this fashion blunder” she said everything in a honey dripping voice, reminding you of the last time when you disobeyed her same order.

Yugyeom chuckled with the sandwich still in his mouth before responding to her demand. “Leave it yeongie. The scarf is hiding her sinful deeds. I’d prefer you see her with it, not otherwise. Maybe wonwoo gave a standing ovation worthy performance this t—-aahhh! Don’t hit me doofus.” But you kept attacking him with your bag, yeong was watching you both with a dissatisfied look but it was nothing she wasn’t used to already. He tried to dodge your actions but you were tougher especially with the weapon in your hand. He was sprawled on the ground now, laughs turned into recurrent coughs. “Sorry y/n. y/n

“y/n” you both looked at each other when you heard a third voice calling your name.

You straightened yourself, visage turning jovial, neck craning to face the visitor.

Your relaxed posture stiffened at the sight of the said caller.

Yuta.

Yuta was standing there, beaming towards you. He waved at you, which you couldn’t return because of the initial shock you were in. what was he doing here. Yugyeom and yeong were also staring at the stranger.

Yuta extended his hand for you to lift you up from the ground, but you didn’t move an inch. He inclined his head a bit, questioning you silently. You took his hand to rise up. Your friends were now curiously watching the awkward exchange.

Yuta gave others a toothy smile, waving energetically at them as if they were long lost friends he just found today. And he did indeed looked like one of you. with black polo tucked in his washed jeans, blond hair down and earnings adorning his earlobes, he looked like a normal extrovert student , who could turn people into friendly puppies just with a flash of smile.

“Can I borrow y/n for a minute? I won’t take long , I promise” he blinked his eyes at them , assuring your friends that he wasn’t abducting you , which was, you guess, his first instinct, assuring people of his virtuous intentions . He took your hand and started dragging you towards the concrete path. As soon as you were out of other’s eyes, he jerked your hand away making you groan loudly.

“Why are you so rash? Don’t you have sense? What the hell are you doing here and how the fuck did you find me in this goddamnit big campus!” you growled at him.

“Stop bitching at me! I’m not Johnny or taeyong, watch you fucking tongue in front of me!” yuta fiery eyes bored into yours. The previous cheerful expression already changed into one of frustration.

“Then don’t treat me like one yuta. Simple as that! You might not be used to this, but I am not a servile flatterer.” you retorted, mirroring his aggression.

You crossed your arms against your chest, titling your head to reciprocate his look. “Now say why you are here cause unlike you, I have work to do!”

Yuta scoffed at your words, his hand graciously fixing his now messed up hair. You took this time to give him a once over. He was distracted by the wind, and you by his face. At first blush, he looked devastatingly fuckable but your self-esteem was of far more importance right now. You hated men who had no regard for women and at this point, yuta’s behaviour was fulfilling all the essentials.

“What did u mean that day when you said you’d be leaving,” he was still giving you the same stern look but his voice came surprisingly calm “what is there between you and taeyong that I’m missing?”

His question confused you. You were sure that the conversation between you and taeyong was not so classified. So maybe yuta was there just to bother you.

“See! I’m not at all obliged to answer you. So you better ask your boss. And never show up here again, unless you are called, which would obviously never happen!”

“Just answer me! I’m not here for your bloody lecture!” he tiredly blurted at you. But you were adamant so you just turned away from him.

You were about to successfully dodge him when he caught your forearm and in a flash, pulled you against himself. You were now eyeing his chest, which was soon replaced with his face. He had leaned down to face you, his eyes scanning your now alarmed expression. His eyes lowered to your chest which was stuck due to the breath you had sucked in.

“Breathe baby. I come in peace. No need to be afraid.” he said softly and you’d have believed him, if you were blind to his capabilities. You struggled to step away from him but his grip was tightening enough to bruise your arm. He found your little effort very amusing.

“At least you are entertaining hmm.” he jerked away your arm again, this time you let out an audible yelp. “I just came to check your status, nothing else” he said looking particularly nowhere.

“my what?” You asked him, rubbing your arm to soothe the stinging sensation. You were also perplexed at how he simply forgot about the previous topic.

He feigned hurt, rubbing over his chest “don’t be so hostile. I wanted to know about your status with your friends. The one you were hitting so cutely! He’s one of your friends who know everything about you right.”

“You don’t need to be so friendly. Bear with my hostile attitude coz that’s what you’ll be getting from now on.”

“At least you are acknowledging this union.” his mocking tone was nauseating you. “So when are you going to introduce me or do I have to take the initiative!”

“Stay away yuta. I’m not your laughing stock.”

“Okay, so you are not going to do it!” he gave you a once over mid-sentence. “Fine. I’ll do it by myself.” he started walking down the path to the garden your friends were sitting in. but before you could stop him, you saw both of them coming your way. You hurriedly ran over to them, passing yuta. He was seriously enjoying your distress.

“Shorty, your bag.” gyeom handed you your bag. “We have to go to class .your sandwich is in the bigger one. eat it before going to library and we are going to 67th street again. Meet you there tonight”

“No I’ll pass”

“And who is that hunk? Your secret boyfriend?” yeong questioned wiggling her brows. Before yuta could take charge of the situation, you spoke to fit it to your own mould.

“n-no. He-he’s a junior’s older brother. Just here to talk about his poor situation.”

“Okay. But he’s so your type. You can try something you know” she whispered, your eyes widening in pure horror.

“He can hear us yeong!!!” but she took a back step before you could say anything else.

“Ok bye bye. see you later. And don’t wear that scarf again or I’ll increase the time period of exercise.” she shouted. You showed a middle finger to her which was returned with a flying kiss.

“The scarf! I totally missed it!” you rolled your eyes before facing his smirking self, his breath fanning your neck hair, his face being too close for your liking.

“You look quite fond of hickies. Just let these one disappear then I can decorate you myself.” he whispered, voice meant only for you to hear.

“Meet you on Saturday, babes. I think I’ll lose my sleep if I admired you anymore!” he whirled around leaving your fuming form behind. it was as if he was fond of having his last say in every conversation.

“These hickies would only disappear in your fucking dreams boy!” you murmured, glaring at his back.

The true intentions of his sudden appearance were masked by his fake excitement but that had struck a chord in you. You couldn’t avoid it for too long. Sooner or later, it had to be done.

starting with your roommate.

******************************

Your vision was almost blurry for the time you spent staring at your door, takeout from her favourite restaurant dangling from your arm. Chelin was inside waiting for you. She was busy these days like any other student but you always had some tricks up your sleeve to get her to agree. Today it was her favourite authentic Chinese dumplings. You shifted from one foot to another to calm your nerves, like it was going to make any difference. You had to tell chelin and this laborious task was to be accomplished today. Now or never, you decided finally, knocking on the door.

The door opened almost instantly.

“Why do you make me walk when you have the key!” she said, pretending to be irritated at you.

You stuck your tongue at her whilst shoving the food bag in her face. Sniffing the bag, her eyes widened, sparkle adoring her black orbs and lower lip trembling to form the most stupid fake emotional look she could muster. You lifted yourself up to flick her frowned forehead playfully. Both of you broke into laughter, the room turning lively.

“What is it this time?” chelin asked you curiously, making her way to the small corner you both called kitchen. You removed your bag and shoes meanwhile.

“I just wanted to spend some time with you and talk, you know. It’s been days since we have seen each other properly.” you replied gently. Chelin was 4 years younger than you in age but only 2 years behind in classes. Her intelligence was hard to be matched. That’s why even being younger than her classmates, she was the smartest. A deadly combo of beauty with brains.

“ohh.” she returned .you reached out for the food boxes and moved to let her sit on your bed. “Now tell me what it is. This restaurant doesn’t deliver inside uni and you have to wait 45 minutes for their delivery and unless you want something-

She trailed off, wiggling her brows at you.

You have always been the most amusing subject for her psychology projects, defying everything her books said. You were suprising, yet predictable.

“I’ve got an internship” you blurted out a lie, eyes setting on the food instead of facing her.

“Nothing new in that. You get them all the time without even applying, unlike us. But what happened to your mantra, Chois or nothing!!!” she declared her surprise.

The only way to make your story credible was to avoid her eyes and occupying yourself with dumplings was the best tactic at this point.

“Yes, but I’m not going to do freelance writing anymore. It’s boring and its paid internship and not a servant service so I’ll give it a try.”

“Hmm. good. But you didn’t spend your precious money just to inform me of another shot right! So get on the point.”

You chewed the food in your mouth, before putting an end to her queries.

“Umm. I might be moving out” you said sheepishly to gauge her reaction. The dumpling which she was about to put in her mouth was now messily dipped in the sauce pot.

“You are what?”

“I’m moving out!”

“But why and where?” she straightened her back at the seriousness of your statement, the food long forgotten now.

“It’s not finalized yet” you stated shrugging your shoulders. “I want a place near the northern or eastern court complex. It’s going to be easy if I start already. And chois are also located there.”

“Which company?” while bundling your lies, you had missed this. Nervously, you picked up the chopsticks again trumping up an answer to satisfy her.

“Aah umm moon industries!”

An audible gasp escaped her mouth. She was shocked at first but regained herself in no time.

“Anything is possible if it’s you.” you knew that this would work. you were a graduate so job offers were not anything suspicious.

“you can finally have your peace.” you made an effort to lighten up a bit but chelin went quite for a moment.

“So you are leaving me. Just like that.” her voice came out as a mere whisper. You looked up to find her glossy eyes, a heaviness in her voice. You didn’t expect her to be such responsive!

“You know I hate sleeping alone.”

“don’t do this chel-

“And who would buy me ice-cream when I breakup with jay again. An- and who will remind me to change my toothbrush. My hangover pills. And moreover how are you going to make your food. Your only source of homemade food is me. You are still scared of the beeping of the bloody oven. You always eat cold takeout’s when I’m not here!” as she ranted, you felt your own legs trembling at her voice.

“Take me with you” she said abruptly making you shook your head at her. You knew she won’t be easy but you hadn’t anticipated this at all. You had to lie again, for her own sake.

“it’s not feasible chelin. I’m gonna be an hour away. but my job demands that’s why I’ll have to move out. you can’t afford living outside of campus right now. don’t make this harder, please.”

And you saw visible stream of tears leaving her eyes. You wanted nothing more than to hug her tightly and cry out your own sorrows but you couldn’t. You were not allowed to express your feelings just yet.

“Why can’t you just stay? I don’t want to live without you!”

“It’s just a year more anyway.” you tried to justify your departure.

“A full year! And that’s different. I’ll also be leaving next year but now it’s just you!”

“Move in with jay, chelin.” you suggested. “He always nags at you for refusing him. It’ll make him happy and maybe your intermittent breakups would stop as well!”

“I don’t want to”

“You do want to. It’s me who’s been holding you back till now. You just don’t want to leave my grown up ass alone.”

“No! I’ve been refusing him cause I’ll chose you over that asshole any day.” she said while rubbing her eyes with the palms of her hands. You both were closer than sisters. She even spent some of her vacations in the campus just so you won’t feel like a loner. She was the closest to the family you could have at this point. And no, you were not ready to let her go.

“When are you moving out?” her sniffling was now replaced with soft breathing.

“Maybe next week” you lied again.

“Are you happy?”

“Leaving you? No. I could never be. But it has to be done.”

“I hope your roommate knows how to cook. Otherwise you’ll die from takeouts. And let’s spend the week together. We’ll go shopping for new skirts. You won’t be wearing any trousers this time!” she proposed, trying to smile again.

“We are still in the same uni and you’ll find me here all the time. The internship demands weekend working hours anyway so it’s manageable.” you reasoned as an attempt to satisfy the budding questions in her mind.

“But it won’t be same”

Nothing would be same from now on! you thought.

*********************************

Saturday morning

The dreadful day came sooner than you desired. Sprawled on your bed, you looked around the small room, which has been your residence from the day you left the orphanage and that you still planned on inhabiting until the end of next year if nothing has changed but now it was better to dust it off and move on.

What were you even supposed to call it! Wedding day? Or effective date? You weren’t even sure of it being a contract or an arrangement! Maybe contract to keep your mouth shut! But it also requires a free consent that was hard to find in your current position. A legal agreement binding you with taeyong’s will or an arrangement! Arrangement to make your life easy while being driven away from the one you were somewhat content with!

You could make any assertion to console yourself.

You were alone this morning for chelin has gone to jay’s apartment. You were somewhat glad that she was gone. Moving out in her absence would be good otherwise she won’t let you go out alone with all your stuff and you weren’t ready to explain her anything yet. As per her knowledge, you were leaving next week. your all braincells were spent while satisfying her that packing a week before was just out of convenience and nothing else.

You got up from the bed to shower your worries away. Following a forty minutes of comforting bath, you opened the small closet to choose something from the clothes you were yet to pack. As if on cue, your phone made a very familiar sound.

Ping. The fine tune was now set for a very fine person.

Little shit: I can’t wait to meet you noonaaa! Please wear something white!

White! You gave your closet and packed boxes a once over. There was plenty of white but nothing white! There was a white dress –with cherry blossoms on it. Then there was skirt, with black stripes. The only thing you had in crisp white was 3 pairs of shorts and sneakers.

And you were definitely going to wear those. After all, jaemin did say something white! It’s not daily that you get to have fun with interpretation.

After contemplating for 5 minutes straight, you chose the red bell sleeved round neck crop top to wear with your white high waist denim shorts. from nowhwere were you looking like someone about to get married! But like your everyday chant- who cares!

You were brushing your hair when a sound from the phone distracted you from flattering yourself.

Johnny: are you ready?

As decided earlier, Johnny was going to pick you and your stuff from the dorm. He was more cordial than doyoung, parking the car just near the dorms.

You: yes, I am.

Johnny: good. Let me in.

And you did. But instead of one, there were two of them. You looked curiously at the shorter men who was glancing you up and down.

“He’s ten. And ten this is y/n.” the said guy waved, giving a sweet smile.

“Hi!”

“So how many boxes do you have?” Johnny asked looking around the tiny space.

“7 in total.” you started explaining. “Two boxes of shoes and clothes each. And other one for the accessories and random stuff. One medium sized luggage of my books. I have yet to pack some clothes from the closet and my desk space needs to be cleaned up as well. So I think it’ll take about 30 minutes to do everything.” you finished.

“Only 2 boxes of clothes?” ten asked, a look of judgement all over his face.

“Yup. I’ll take winter clothes afterwards. My roommate is going to keep them so I’ll collect them later and 3 boxes! I’ve yet to fill one.”

“Aah ok. Let��s do it then.” that being said you showed Johnny the side of the little hallway where you had placed your plastic boxes.

“Johnny, please be careful. The boxes are all rented and keeping upside down would ruin the shoe package. Just a li-“ you stopped midway when Johnny started giggling at your distressed tone.

“Don’t worry. Just pack the other stuff.”

You nodded and started with the packing. The closet was clear of your belongings. The only place left was your desk. You crowded your backpack with laptop, chargers and other stationaries that you kept out as an act to cover from chelin.

Johnny and ten made several trips up and down and finally after about forty minutes, you were finally done.

“Shall we go?” ten asked you. You didn’t reply instead choosing to walk outside silently.

**************************

You reached the destination in about 40 minutes. The area had a different ambiance than the city side. It was not secluded but wasn’t crowded either. The house looked more like a closed off architectural 2 storey building, giving a “enter with caution” feels.

You only took your phone with you as you were going to the new place in few hours anyway.

As you entered, déjà vu took over your senses. The couch in the hallway was jam-packed just like the last time. And if it was not enough, you saw few younger boys coming down the stairs from other side of the hallway. And one of them was too hard to miss.

“Noonaaa” jaemin ran down the remaining stairs coming to stand in front of you. He gave you an electric smile, your own lips curving upwards.

“I told you to wear white!? He whined at your choice of clothing.

You visibly rolled your eyes at him. “And this is white! The shorts and shoes are crisp white. What else do you want?” as much as you wanted to be polite but your nature didn’t allow you to take offense.

“Ok ok fine. I only saw red. This’ll also do. You look good.” he stated, eyeing your sleeves.

“Come inside.” he took your hand, swiftly moving you towards the centre of hall. Once he left your hand, you bowed a little in greeting, hoping you won’t have to do that again and again.

Johnny had told you the other day that few of them were older than you including him, yuta and taeyong. So you had to greet them with respect. you were a women with manners!

“No need for formality y/n. just sit down.” taeyong also descended from the same stairs. You sat at the only unoccupied chair in the room whereas taeyong sat on the arm of the bigger sofa.

“You got everything?” you nodded at his question.

“Ok then. Yuta is arriving in few minutes. Until then if you want, you can go explore the house.”

You shook your head at him. You were sure everyone could tell how apprehensive you were being. A roomful of boys was staring at you like hawks. It was confirmed to you by now that you were only girl in this house. You were fiddling with hands, crossing and uncrossing your legs to make yourself more comfortable but your fidgeting only made others awkward as well.

“Stop making her nervous!” Kun’s voice reached your ears before you could see him. It looked like he came from outside. At the lack of seat, he made a beeline for the space you were filling , sitting at the arm of your sofa. Maybe it’s a habit, you thought.

“I knew you were coming, so I made a special meal for you. Jaemin helped a lot though.” at your mere bob as an answer, kun realised that he couldn’t do anything to make you feel any better. the immensity of the setting was far more on your conscious than others.

“noona , this is jisung and chenle, you didn’t meet them right!” you saw two boys whom jaemin was dragging to stand in front of you. they looked quite younger than the other ones. their charming smiles directed at you finally turned your stoic expression to mirror theirs.

your little interaction was interrupted by light footsteps on the marble floor.

“Were you all waiting for me?” yuta’s voice resonated in the silent room. “why couldn’t you complete this mission in my absence taeyong. It’s not like you don’t have substitute!” he sneered at his leader, looking around to find a seat.

jungwoo got up from his seat, motioning yuta to sit.

“I have to be somewhere else, so the sooner we start, the sooner we’ll get it over with!” yuta offered. taeyong nodded at him, directing doyoung to get something from inside.

doyoung went away and came back with a bundle of files. he opened a file and placed it in front of you.

“you can read it first. i completed the registration forms, your bio data is filled. just check for any misinformation. there was no poof of your permanent residential address so jaehyun got exception for you because you are a student. but you both might need to visit district office as they won’t grant exemption from appearance.” doyoung pointed everything and explained it to you.

the papers were legitimate, you bio data including your identity number, parents name , everything was correct. the only astonishing thing was the name of your legal representative. you thought I’d be doyoung but you were wrong.

through counsel,

jeong jaehyun.

your fingers lingered on his name. it was not possible as johnny told you he was just about same age as you. you looked at doyoung with a raised brow.

“jae was chosen by our own company so he started working under taeyong immediately after graduation” doyoung mumbled and you snorted at his statement. obviously , he had it easy!

“where do I have to sign?” you asked in a small voice.

and you scribbled right where he marked.

he passed the papers to yuta.

with a frown on his face, yuta also did the same. throwing the papers in doyoung’s face, he rose up from his seat, turning towards the door.

“wait yuta” taeyong’s voice stopped him in his tracks.

“what do you want now. do I have to kiss her?” his questioned carried a mocking tone, making you straighten your back. you were just as disgusted at the thought as was him. but you were not throwing tantrums like him.

“the rings. you have to make it believable right” taeyong extracted a velvet rectangular box from his pocket, placing it on the table. he signalled you to open it.

you reached out for the purple box. inside it were two platinum bands with a single diamond shining right in the centre. they were beautiful but meaningless.

“your hand yuta. why do I have to tell you everything?” yuta scoffed at him and snatched the box from your hand, pulling your arm in the way.

he took out both bands, tossing the box in taeyong’s lap. he wore the one meant for him, in his left finger and grabbed your hand to put the ring on. you flinched a little at the force but he didn’t seem to give a shit about you felt.

“oh the ring is loose.”he commented at the band being not of your size. you jerked away your hand to remove the ring, instead placing it in your forefinger.

“you are not supposed to have what isn’t yours baby!” he remarked slyly before modelling his way out. his mouth was acidic, that you were sure by now.

“CONGRATULATIONS ON THE WEDDING MRS. NAKAMOTO!”

and yuta’s words kept ringing even when he was gone. mechanically, your hands were balled into fists, anger rising. you were not feeling bitter at his words for didn’t expect anything better from him. but he shouldn’t have attacked your dignity in front of strangers.

only five minutes had passed and you were already encumbered with the weight of the ornament!

************************

where do you think this is going?? do you like it so far? please lemme know if you get time to leave some feedback!

and welcome all the new readers! i hope you are enjoying this!

#nct scenarios #nct imagines #ncct fluff #nct angst #nct x reader #nct mafia #nct arrange marriage #yuta mafia #yuta arrange marriage #killing me yuta #yuta #yuta angst #yuta series #nct series

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chelsfic · 4 years

Text

Accident Forgiveness - part one - Bucky Barnes x Reader

Masterlist

Summary: All you want is to enjoy your latte. Is it your fault you happen to live in a building owned by a super hero? In which the reader continually gets caught up in the Avengers’ fights and it starts to get old. Especially when a certain broody, ex-assassin refuses to admit when he’s at fault. Featuring Hawkeye and the tracksuit mafia!

A/N: This fic will be multiple chapters (probably 2 or 3). It is primarily based on the Hawkeye comics by Matt Fraction and Tales of Suspense: Hawkeye and Winter Soldier by Matthew Rosenberg. You might notice one line is directly lifted from Tales of Suspense (Hawkeye talking about letting the bad guys keep their teeth). I just love the sarcastic, punchy humor of Hawkeye in the comics as well as the friendship dynamics between the two of them in Tales of Suspense. If you guys enjoy this I’d love it if you could comment, like or reblog! I thrive off positive reinforcement, thank you!!

Warnings: Fluff and crack, some violence, language, short reader

---

One minute you’re walking back to your apartment in Bed-Stuy, enjoying the warmth of the caramel latte cupped in your hands.

The next minute you’re sputtering with a facefull of spattered milk foam as your coffee cup is impaled by a bright purple arrow.

Hawkguy!

You love your landlord. You really do. But how many times have you warned him about target practice on the roof?!

“Oops!” Clint Barton’s chagrined voice floats down from the top of your building. “My bad! Hey, you might wanna--”

OOMPH!

It feels like you’ve just been hit by a speeding car. A blur of leather, muscle and metal zooms through your peripheral vision and slams into you, sending you sprawling on the sidewalk. You throw out your hands to catch yourself and hear a decisive, sickening snap as your right wrist meets the concrete.

“...duck!” Clint finishes.

Frickin’ super heroes.

Cradling the injured limb to your chest, you crawl away from the street, huddling in the shadow of a front stoop as the two Avenger rejects do battle with a...well, you can only describe it as a goon squad. A group of about twenty guys in tracksuits carrying automatic weapons. You watch the two men’s fluid, brutal movements as they take down their opponents with professional grace. You’d be really impressed if you weren’t so pissed off.

“Thanks, for helping, Buck. I’m gonna call in the--Jesus!,” Clint’s standing over the last guy Bucky took down, staring at the guy’s pulverized face. “...I let my guys keep their teeth, man!”

Bucky rolls his eyes. He flinches when his gaze lands on your stormy face as you rapidly hop over fallen tracksuits, hugging your broken wrist to your side.

“Hey, Hawkguy!” you barrel up to Clint, kicking him in the shin. “You owe me a latte!”

You barely come up to Clint’s chest and yet the archer shifts nervously on his feet and his shoulders slump down. He looks like the human embodiment of one of those dog shaming memes and Bucky snorts in glee. But his merriment vanishes when you round on him with narrowed, storm cloud eyes.

“And you!” you screech. “You broke my arm!”

Bucky’s eyes widen for an instant but he shrugs and tries to play it off, “Not my fault you have shitty balance. You broke your own arm!”

“I--WHAT!??”

Just as you’re gearing up for an epic scolding with some vicious chest-poking thrown in, Clint jumps in between you with a placating look on his face.

“Hey, hey, hey! We’re all friends, right? What’s a broken bone between friends?”

You level a deadpan look at your landlord as you say, “I’ve never met this man before in my life, Clint.”

“And I don’t need to defend myself to civilians who insert themselves into dangerous situations,” Bucky adds helpfully.

“Insert myself! I was just getting a coffee--!”

“His name’s Bucky,” Clint interjects, “he can be a little broody...a little murdery at times...but he’s really a good guy when you get down to it…”

Bucky snorts and runs a hand through his long, dark hair. You have to crane your neck a little to look up at the six-foot-something assassin and when you do you find him looking down his nose at you with a bland smirk. Insufferable! You move to put your hands on your hips in preparation for a renewed scolding but the sudden motion reminds you that your wrist is definitely broken and you wince against the pain.

The haughty look in Bucky’s eyes flickers for just a second as he watches you hiss and clutch your arm.

“Whatever--Clint, call me an ambulance, will you?”

---

A few days later Clint throws a pizza party on the roof and invites the whole building. He claims it’s in your honor, to make up for what happened, but there’s a potluck party on the roof almost every weekend so the gesture isn’t all that impressive. Still. He does hand you a steaming latte from your favorite coffee shop as you walk into the party. When you reach out to take the cup his eyes light up at the sight of your cast.

“Purple!?” he gushes, gently taking hold of the cast.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah...don’t flatter yourself, Hawkguy. I just like purple is all…” you assure him, not wanting to give him any ideas. Look, you’re human. You won’t deny that your landlord is a tall, blond, beefcake with an adorable dog and...occasional funny jokes. But you also live in the same building and you’ve seen the stream of different women in and out of his apartment. You’re not interested in this particular train wreck.

“Hey, Buck,” he calls out, and your eyes widen in alarm as you notice the dark-haired super-spy lurking on the edge of the party. “C’mere and say hi to your favorite traffic cone.”

Clint turns back to you as Bucky’s walking over and nudges you in the side, “Get it? Traffic cone, because--”

“Got it, Clint,” you roll your eyes.

Bucky slinks over to join you. His long hair is pulled back in a messy bun at the nape of his neck and the sharp line of his jaw is dusted with stubble. He looks over at you and you realize his beautiful, long lashes perfectly frame his blue eyes. Okay, so when you said you weren’t interested in train wrecks--

“Hey, Bucky,” you greet him, looking up at him through your lashes. Your lips curl upward involuntarily. How come you hadn’t noticed how handsome he is before? Oh, right. You’d been distracted with chastising him for BREAKING YOUR ARM.

Bucky nods silently in greeting, seemingly immune to your wiles.

Clint isn’t.

“Hey! Am I--,” he gestures between the two of you with a wide grin on his lips, “Am I sensing something here?! How wild!”

“Clint, you’re delusional,” you snap and start to turn away toward the food table but he skips in front of you to halt your progress.

“Wait, wait, we have to sign your cast!” he pulls a Sharpie out of his back pocket and grabs for your arm.

“Ouch! Be gentle, dipshit!” you grouse, but you’re a little pleased that he’s apparently thought enough about this little “I’m Sorry” party to bring a Sharpie with him to sign your cast.

“There ya go!” he says with a final flourish, giving you back your arm.

You look down to see that he’s drawn a little bull’s eye with an arrow sticking out of it next to the words, “Sorry my reckless friend ran you over. HawkEYE.” He’d bolded and underlined the “eye” in Hawkeye as if you’d ever give up teasing him about his superhero identity.

You laugh and give him a little hug, “Thanks, Clint. Well, I’m gonna get some pizza--”

“No!” he cries, reaching over to drag Bucky forward and shoving the pen into his hand. “Bucky has to sign too.”

You squint your eyes at Clint and he smooths his face into a look of bland innocence, shrugging and frowning at you as he mouths, “What???”

Bucky sighs through his nose like he’s being severely put upon and you scoff, “Don’t worry, Bucky, you don’t have to--”

“Lemme see,” he says and his voice is a soft, deep drag along your nerve endings. Holy Hell. He reaches for your arm and cradles the wounded wrist in his metal hand, letting the pen hover over the cast as he considers what to write. He takes his time and you just stand there like a fish on a hook, staring at his beautiful lips as he darts out a tongue in concentration and starts writing. You can feel Clint watching you watch Bucky and you blush to the roots of your hair.

“There,” Bucky says, releasing your arm and capping the Sharpie. “Hope you feel better soon.”

He’s looking into your eyes and you’re falling under the spell of his gaze. His lips curve in a sexy grin and you mutter, breathless, “Thanks!”

You stumble over to the pizza boxes and surreptitiously glance down at your cast. His handwriting is old-fashioned and elegant. You bite your lip to keep from squealing in anticipation as you read his words.

“You should be more careful. XOXO. -Bucky”

You turn back to find him bent over with laughter.

Frickin’ Superheroes.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes #james bucky barnes x reader #winter soldier x reader #hawkeye #hawkguy #fluff #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes fanfic #chelsfic

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denotday · 3 years

Text

Maybel Rhodes: Protectress

Itchy arms. My armbumps bumps take over life and chew my head off like a black mother. Even the sleeves of this sweater craddle these potholes as an english muffin craddles butter. But I'm more than my bumps and I'd make a quip on Fergie, but I'm no Joan Rivers. I'm small, meager. At eighteen, trying to find myself, live my own life. Typical teen drama, boring narrative, sob story. bored already. But know what isn't boring? I like strawberry shortcake and cheeseless pizzas. I have hopes of becoming a journalist and actually leading a career as moreof a Clark Kent than a Mary Jane or whatever the fuck that bitch's name is. Mary Anne? That used to be the name of one of my teachers. Going off; just thinking these thoughts while skateboarding to highschool.

Stay on the sides, away from cars, on the sidewalk, not too close to the white kids. White kids mean white mess, white messes mean cops who sweep the streets and take all the black kids with them in the process. I'm not a racist, just a black kid trying to stay alive in white america. Thank god I'm a weak bitch, one who cries for black men, one who doesn't face real issues like projected aggression. I'm a butterfly, something that men swat away and don't care about until MeToo movements. Gotta be careful but not too careful, kind but not too kind, firm but not a bitch, bitch but not a faggot. faggots suck.

No one thinks to ask these questions, here this thoughts. They see a black woman, better yet, a black female child. Worse thing to live in a ghetto. Sike; I say that I'm black and in a ghetto and get sob points. Fucking racist. I'm skating to one of those Fresh Prince schools. Didn't move on up, I'm simply moving; parents are mid class well grounded and guess what? My parents are still together. Probably breaking up soon but still breaking barriors of broke baby daddies and black slutty whore mothers who don't believe in abortion.

That's humor in of itself. A black kid skates into a white neighborhood with white sidewalks and doesn't have a nigger daddy and nigger mommy. What can be said by those PTA suburban soccer moms who want to demonise me and my own? Or am I palatable and a token black?

Making good grades, going to class on time. Only thing is, I don't have any friends to call. Even if I had one of those top quality iPhone 411s, I still wouldn't want to burden myself with filling up those high-techy contact lists. It's all bullshit after all, just capitalistic bilge. Something to fill the void without actually trying to let the public know that the void they're filling chalks up to capitalism. But again, those little tangents? "What does this have to do with having friends?" Everything. I don't give a shit, I accept shit. I tell things like it is, speak with lisps or change it up by sounding like an oxford professor.Not going to just abandon stream of consciousness 'cause class just started. This aint sims 4 and life ain't something that can be controlled; sped up or slowed down for the sake of an other's pleasure. I'm learning about shit that I'll never use like economics. That's shit that the government gives the state to teach, a little but not enough for highschoolers to overwhelm the system and decide "fuck student loans".

Not too bad here, though. Not all just "fuck hyschool" and teenaged angst. I go to the library, read books, go on my computer, listening to some Biggie and MFDoom and Tribe. Guess I am a nigger. Nigger-me and my nigger music. Even tththough it's they inspiration for they cracker music. Hate on us enough to keep us down but keep us up enough to steal from us. Today I'm reading some teen dystopian fantasy novel that I don't feel inclined to share with you guys. And no, it's not Hunger Games. It's Gunger Hames, the cousin of the franchise. Whoops just gave ya'll the name sorry. Either way I'm into that. Idea of a not-so-distant-future; humans making mistakes that fuck up the planet---disregarding that fact long enough so that the white main character can get it on with someone from the other side. Modern day Romeo and Juliett.

End of lunch, going back to class. It's back to back all day; boring teen shit that nobody cares about. Raising hands, answering questions, not understanding anything by the end of the day. Getting by is my motto. Long enough to get an A in the class and be on those ivy league watchlists. Even if I have to bust my ass to pay for student loans. Leaving highschool after all that non-work---no friends to lie to, no one to walk with, just me and my skateboard. These white paths not dirtied by brown except for my dirt body moving at the speed that a skateboard will go. Shift right here and there. Move away from rocks so that I don't fall headfirst. It's good shit. Here and there there are stone pebbles, blunts from---ironically enough--- the white kids and sharp object that I can't identify. FUCK. I don't have time to move around it and I can't just run offf. My leg'll get cut by it. Gotta just build up enough speed to roll over. Rolling...rolling...here it comes. Crouch down, focus, focus, pump speed anddddd....it stops my speed and loosens one of my bearings. Now I gotta walk the rest of the way back to my white little house with a white picket fence. Man screw--haha pun---this object. I have to use my 20/20 vision to find some small silver bolt that'll practically blend in with this bright ass sidewalk. Fuck white America.

In a little patch of weeds growing like black fists raising in the air I see the bolt and the responsible party for tossing me off the board. I raise my foot to crush this sonnofabiscuit like a bug so that some white kid's bike tire doesn't get licked---mind you this should be considered community service---and I figure that I won't ruin my rubber soles on the glass, so I'll just pick it up and toss it into the sewer. I put the bolt in my sweatpants pocket to keep it safe. I bend over again to peer at the crack in the sidewalk that I'll punt to the other side of the street where the other half of the street lives. It has tribal markings on it and must be, gasp, an ancient arcane ruin that'll give me superpowers. Kidding, you dumb bitch. "Why am I talking to myself this way? Jeez, some self-improvement classes would be nice". It's a bracelet made of some sort of beads. Kindof pretty but caked up with dirt and sand like no-one's business. I'm no Rocket Racoon so I just leave it. Even if I felt that it was interesting enough, I'd have to clean it off and disinfect it. It would just ruin the material underneath. Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm. Hm. Lemme stop; for real, in this white bread neighborhood, I might be able to get it appraised and pawn it off for some money or at the very least, see if it's worth keeping. I know; "this is the start of every horror movie", every tv show. I get it, but I'll cleanse the jewelry before wearing it. It's fine. It's fine. Hope it's fine. Jeez.

I put the bracelet in my other pocket away from the bolt and walk back home. The soles of my feet hit the white pavement and my feet move in the fashion of jubillee ferris wheels. Slowly rise in a circle, fall in perfect arch. Walking is divine poetry in of itself. Not too long now. A little further. Feels like the day is stretching. Still light outside and the summer-brink of fall--air is warming my rectum. "Oh god, what's with gays and their rectums". You know your g-spot is in your ass, men. It feels good for us too you know. Nice coolness for the butthole----rectum is for men, butthole is for women. I think. See? Not a Cliff Huxtable type; don't know everything. Not an Urkle. Conversations with myself like this are truly golden (ponyboy).

Fondle the silver piece, twist it in lock, get somewhere new. Novel design, simple concept. My rubber soles give me cat-walking abilities and I edge up the stairs. Hear shuffling downstairs in the kitchen. But the smell of musky forest wood with a hint of olive tells me that it's just my father. I'd announce my presence but this isn't a sitcom and I have a phone that I can use to text. Who talks nowadays?

On the table near the keyrack, I scoop into my pockets in search of the goods. The warm cotton touches the cool silver bolt. Set it aside to attach it to the skateboard later. "Why not now?" That'll be a problem for me to solve tomorrow. "Procrastination isn't good" Yeah I know. I've read the same 1990's health pamphlet that the health teachers give out. I hug my side to reach around for the other pocket. Same warmth, same feeling of comfort except...it's a new sensation. Hollow and porous. It's either bone carved into beads or plastic. Hope to...Well, not God, maybe I hope to goodness? Goodness? What am I? A preacher? Maybe that's why I like 16 year old boys. Anyway. It's too white over here for it to be bone. Unless it's some cracker who brought over some hoodoo shit and dropped it somewere. Great. Gonna burn some incense to cleanse it. Then gonna toss it somewhere so that it can't hurt anyone. Wait. It doesn't FEEL menacing. No darkness, no coldness, there's a comfort to be had. I don't see any visible engravings, no bite marks no arcane symbols. It may be safe. Just to be sure, I'm keeping it downstairs for it to curse someone else in the house. I rise up the stairs into the wide landing. Step, rise, step, rise, step, rise. Before I get to the top, I feel funny. Not sick funny or CURSED funny, but someone-is-in-my-presence funny. Strech my neck to look over my shoulder. Not too far to show interest but far enough to see what's going on---it's my dad handling the bracelet.

I whip my body around and I suppose this gives him a start.

"Hey, just got back from school. I'm pretty tired which is why I didn't want to talk. Found that bracelet in the sidewalk cracks before my skateboard broke. I wouldn't touch it if I were you. Don't know if it's cursed or not."

"Cursed? Bee, this is a genuine Sudanese artifact."

"Huh? When'd you turn into a archeologist? Or are you just nerding out about a 'special interest'"

"Har har. Nothing like that. This area used to be an auction town for slaves shipped from Sudan. Martinsville, Pennsylvania wasn't necessarily known for it's 'clean hands' you know. Gentrification made the area look nicer but its history is still pretty shit-covered."

"Ah, I remember now. I heard about this in history class" No I haven't. I don't even have history. Just want to stop talking to him about some dumb bracelet. "Can it sell for big bucks at a pawnshop?"

"I mean, sure if you'd like to get rid of it. Better to give it to the local museum though! It looks to me like it's made out of elephant tusks. Pretty well preserved too! The wearer must've been some warrior. They only wear these types of jewelry if they're the village's protectors. That's what I've read online anyway. You know how the interweb is though. Could be false."

"Oh wow. Ivory? That's a pretty dirty trade. Don't want to give something like that up to white people who continue to promote the trade. This'll just make the ivory market worse. I may keep it; I just wonder if it's cursed or something. I'll ask a local witchcraft practitioner to check it out tomorrow. Can I have thirty bucks for an appraisal along with an after-school snack?"

"Thirty? What're you going to buy? A salmon dinner with asparagus and steak? I'm not giving you Carabbas money. I can do 18. Enough for some street food."

"Not enough for the appraisal!"

"I'm sure the person will be able to work something out for you. You look twelve. You can play the 'Uwu I'm a baby who has no money, please help me out adult!' card. Or, how about this: pretend to be doing a research project for school on Sudanese slaves in the area. Just act like the school lent you the bracelet for the project"

"So lie?"

"I call it embellishment."

"I see"

I reached into his calloused palm and stole its contents, As a thief, I ran upstairs away from the site of the crime, away from the demons that lurked beneath the stairs. That's customary practice when going up stairs, right? To haul ass like there's no tomorrow like we're that black chick from Scary Movie? Sounds about right. I heaved and ho'd swinging my body back and forth up the stairs. Snaking my way into my room where I burrow for my after-school nap. That's what I tell my parents anyway. What I really do is blaze up in my room and turn on the fan. Gotta keep the smoke minimal. "Such a typical teen". Yeah, whatever. Like your generation wasn't popping ass and drinking bathtub wine when ya'll were young, Get outta here.

It's a good high. Kind where you'd listen to lofi and eat peanuts just for the fun of it. Another bong hit. Satisfying. I'm just leaning back on my sofa; it's firm and uncomfy but when I'm blazed, don't none of it matter. I could lose all of my words...give up....let....go.....

"...."

"What is this energy I'm feeling? So warm and electric. Is this love? Am I so sexually frustrated that I'm in love with a bong? Shit, I fuck with that. That's pretty words. 'I'm in love with my bong'. Such nice love. haha."

I'm hungry and it's four am. The weed has worn off. So tired man. Gotta go downstairs for some chips or something. Hungry to the max. Munchies munchies munchies for the weed monster. What a drug.

I creep down the stairs and up once more. My bare footpads cling to the hardwood and leave sweat prints in the shape of my stompers. During my ascent I leave crumbs. Have the house feeling like a Brother's Grimm story. I satisfy my snack desires as I prepare for school in the next hour.

Running water on my arms. Three passes of lotion on arms and legs. Can't be the ashy black kid that look like they an African living in a dirt house. Ain't able to help the rough patches that coat my body but I can help keep my skin moisturized.

A'ight. Got my fit got my board. Just have to screw the bolt back on and find the bracelet. Shit. Left it upstairs. I'm already late as hell. Rushing up the stairs. Search for the bracelet, find it, get out house. Objectives objectives. I spot it from afar and gravitating toward it, put it gingerly in my pocket. Kindof like someone would with a used tissue. Aren't humans gross? I mean, snot? Bacteria-filled snot? Nasty. Thoughts gone, make brain go from thinking to doing. descending now. Board in arm, door opens with the flick of the wrist and just like that, I'm outty. Deck on ground I put my best foot forward and ram it onto the hard cement to push myself forward. Sorry foot, betrayals sure do suck.

School begins, in class siting in a chair. All day, several hours. Ah, the beloved system at work. Great to know that there are adults who "work" all day by keeping kids seated in a chair. Very progressive, America. Library break? I think so. On my laptop, I pull out webpages on the pocketed---the word reminds me of 'closeted---bracelet. NOW I'm imagining a gay bracelet. hilarious. Great. Typing 'Gay Bracelet' into the search bar and am getting rainbow plastic bands. Ya know, the ones that they sell at Hot Topic during pride month.

"Damn, I'm getting sidetracked" She mutters to herself. Imagine if life were a story being told by some omnipotent force? omnipresent? Think that's the word.

With a bit of typing and a bit of focus. Swift movement of hunched fingers. All is complete, then some. Ogdle: "common of the Azande warriors were pieces to signify their status such as septum tusks, mouth disks, necklaces and other adornments. Bones and tusks were common materials of such articles."

Crazy how this history is hidden. Power was taken from us and buried so deep. We're the originals but every piece of history buried underground. Hidden, secretive Big Bad America. Tale fit for young people all over. Democracy, boo yah.

Train whistle blowing through the air. No train nearby, just the sound of a change in the block. I put it all away, sweep it into my bag. Everything is so messy, so fast. On schooldays like this, it feels hard to even take time to breathe. But I get by since the system wants me to. Think I'm going to skip. Not that the next two classes even matter in the long run. "Such a poor black baby, representing her race so poorly". Yeah yeah. Not the black chick that highschools would put on a recruiting card.

Just another push....door after door falling at my fingertips. The same once that touch the coarse sandpaper of my board. Foot on, foot off. kick once, twice, thrice, now we surf the cement. Now it's time to visit good the kind old black woman who practices witchcraft on dolls. That's what you'd think right? No, they're native and keep old customs within the community. Everyone calls them---agender--- Sage. Nonbinary native americans are actually more common than people think.

Before selling the bracelet to some old rich white drudge of society, I wanna be sure that the bracelet can be cleansed first. I mean. To give away black history to the white man? Hellll no with multiple "l's". It is a pretty long ride there, even on a board. Rumbly road. Pebbles everywhere. Thousands of little rocks acting as smaller wheels vying to fling me off. It's too much.

Mumbling of my own. "Where's gentrification when you need it?" Alright, yes I get it. It's a bad joke. Of course gentrification is bad. Blah blah. Time to pick up my skateboard I guess. Walking on this ground feels just as bad as suicide. Feaful of getting my ass flung into the afterlife. Few yards left....or at least fifty feet. Forty eight, forty five, forty-however-long.

Ended up reaching it after twenty minutes. This trip better be worth it.

"Hi there, Miss Sage. Mind checking out this bracelet for me? I need to check it for a curse or evil energy. My cheap father didn't give me enough for a full appraisal but what can you do with nine dollars?"

"For nine? Not much, doll? What was your name again? You look young, do you have an adult's approval for this?"

"Oh, right. You've got me. It's for a school project. School each student a historical object to research. I figured you'd be able to help me get an 'A' on the project, you know?"

"Your manners are lacking but you seem young, so I'll let you pass. Allow me to take a look at it, if you please?"

God. Full-fledged adults really are something else. I'm only eighteen, not eight. Guess I look younger than I am----

Sage starts burning this wood that's tied with string. Incense maybe?

"That incense?"

"It's a closed practice really, so I don't want to expose anything. But it is a form of incense that I prefer to use to cleanse the spirit of objects and areas."

"Ah, didn't mean to intrude. I'm glad that there are still practices that you keep to yourself. Nothing like the White Man stripping us of our culture."

I got a soft chuckle out of them. Glad that they're able to lighten up a bit.

"..."

"OK, so here's what I've found. There's immense energy here; the power coming off of this thing is tremendous. There's nothing negative about this piece. How'd you ever come across it, again? School, you said? Shame that you'll have to give it back. Something like this would provide a large power surge to spirituals. I'd pay a pretty penny for this."

"Mhm"

"Wonder how the school even came across this. I tell you what. Ask your school where I can find something like this and perhaps I'll give you a little something for your intel, huh?"

"Oh. Sure. I'll just--uh---"

"Right, right, right. The bracelet, I'm sorry. Really, it's more an anklet truly, but--ya know what? I'm sorry. Here ya go"

"...take it from ya. Thanks."

"No problem. Come back with more info on the anklet. That'll be your payment for my time"

Got 'caught in a lie it seems. Don't know how I'll snake my way out of this one.

"Brrrrrzzzzz"

Shit, it's five. My dad's probably looking for me.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Chapter two:

" You skipped class? Bee, I know that you're better than this."

God moms bitch too much. Must be the nursing job coupled with her daily acting gigs that make her so aggro.

"I hear ya, mom. I just had some research to conduct after school..."

"Research? Which kind---?"

"The school kind. I don't know what else you want me to say. I'm sorry for skipping lasses. I got too overzealous and went in over my head. It won't happen again."

"Tskk. Better not. I know that I'm gone almost every hour of the day, but please give me a break, baby. Please just listen to your father and follow the rules. All I ask."

"Mhm, even though he-----you know what, nevermind. Am I dismissed? I have to write up today's school report to type"

Phew. Gonna hit the bong now to calm down from this encounter.

Fuck homework. .... ..... Mhm.

Five minutes passs. Fifteen, twenty. Maybe not minutes. hours? seconds? Time is too funny. With LEDs on, the vibe is fatallll. Still have to open a window to let out the smoke but gosh is this magical.

Mhm magic. Does it even exist? Doubt it. It's all science, right? ....

.....

Right. Like, this anklet. Not real power. Not real magic. Just something people believe in. Like God. It's all faith.

"So, theoretically, I could even put it on my person and nothing would even happen"

"And, so it begins"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT VOICE" and why am I screaming?

Get off, get off, get off! Something's dripping on me.

"Tears, they're tears"

Oh god, I fucked up. I knew that I shouldn't have smoked that much. Knew it'd bite me in the ass one day. Now I'm fear-crying. I NEVER FEAR CRY.

It's all a dream maybe. Go to sleep, Bee. Just take a weed nap.

"Ba ba bang"

A booming voice raspy from coffee withdrawal.

"Everything OK in there Bee? You're about to be late for school."

Shit!

No time for conversation. Move it move it move it.

"'Cmon Bee. I'll drop you off at school on my way to the college".

Bookbag? Check. Board? Check.

I feel the rush of air against my cheeks as I fly out the door and jump into the getaway car. Fast, but atleast I'm not Furious. Dad and I chat it up all the way until the tires cross the smooth pavement of school grounds. Departing words are exchanged along with "I love you's" and "knock 'em deads".

That familiar sound. Principal as the school conductor. "Chooo". Just as it drones, my body moves to the steps of teens dragging their feet toward their dreaded first classes of the day. The light of morning cradles the marble arches of the school entrance until the sun starts to suck in the morning cold to blow out midday warmth.

"So, who are you, voice? What's your angle? Typing ensues. The screen watches my fleeting pupils; left, right, side, side. Wouldn't be surprised if the computer got whiplash from me. One scroll, two, three. Read a page. Nothing. Another website. Up and down; my fingers are cramped now. Nada. New Oogdle search: "Can I hear voices with weed smoking." Now I have a hit; "yes weed can have you seeing voices. Many aren't even your own. Maybe lay off the TV for a while."

"Thanks 'BouncyNina29'. Quora is one hell of a place." Guess it must've just been the drugs then. Hilarious, me hearing some voice. "Gotta lay off the bong smoking".

"Shhh!!" Some nerd in a striped beanie raised a finger to pursed lips.

Sorry, sorry....Jeez. "My bad" You know what? Maybe I can visit----

the train whistle interrupts my 11pm "ball" with myself. "Dammit". OK. Maybe I can bribe one of the delinquents behind the school to take my place in English. Teacher's not there anyway; the sub won't know the difference. Time to go pay someone off.

"..."

"Here ya go, five dollars."

"A'ight and you said what room that English class in?"

"301 B man. It's at the end of the third floor, right wing. Hard to miss and---remember---my name is Maybel Rhodes. Just fake like you're doing some work and no one will even notice that you're not me. I'm a loner, so, that'll work."

"Mhm hmm. I hear ya Maple"

"MayBEL"

"Yeah, that's what I said"

Scoff. In a smooth curvular motion, I plant my feet on the board and race to Sage's before their store closes.

As I approach, they're putting a silver key in a lock. Gah! The store closed.

"Miss Sage---"

"Gah! Don't do that!! Scaring me and sh--I mean, 'crap'. Scaring me and crap. Look kid, I'm closed right now but we open tomorrow. By then, I'll have the energy to discuss your school's anklet with you. Actually, about that. Do you have intel on where the-----"

"Yes, yes. About that, see...I lied. I didn't really get it from the school. I found it on the ground somewhere."

"'Found it on the ground somewhere' is code for 'I don't have money to pay nor do I have anything else to provide'? Am I getting warmer?"

"Look Miss Sage, I'm really sorry. Hey---look at it this way. I'm in debt to you. If you'll just help me with one teensy little thing, I'll ask my dad for some food money and will give you every cent he gives, alright?"

"Kid, that's not how an adult runs a business. Call what I gave you yesterday a 'freebie'. You're banned from the store. Good night."

Wait. "Wait" Their stride is aimed toward their silver camry. Yeah, I know a camry. Did you expect them to be riding a horse? Racist. Sage acts as though they don't hear and gets into their seat, key in ignition. One twist away before exiting the rocky parking area.

"IT SPOKE TO ME" Yup. That is how I yelled it. All caps, woke some birds up even. Just like in those Loony Toon cartoons. Is that why they're called "Loony Toons" 'cause they're loony cart----

Now they exit their car, slamming the heavy metal door. "What did you say? It...SPOKE...to you? What do you mean 'it'?"

Mhm Mhm. Just prepping my throat. "I wore it on my ankle and I heard a voice that has never existed before in the chasms----"

"Stop the theatrics"

"....Chasms of my mind. It was a male. Around your age in old-timey-ness."

"Har har."

"But it's the truth!" Why won't they believe a magical voice but insist that sage, a random plant, purifies the air?

Their chest contracts and expands in a sigh. Sage closes their eyes for a second. I could practically smell the gears turning. Need some WD-40, really. "Fine. Come by the store Saturday. That way, no one will be in to eavesdrop."

"Deal!"

"And bring actual MULA this time or else we won't have our little discussion". Crud.

"...."

"What are you thinking Sage?" No response. I paid one hundred fifty dollars for this after BEGGING both my folks (who think I'm using it to enroll in some after school sport) to slide me some cash so that I can 'better myself as an individual and actually do something with my time as well'. Lies are no good.

"Shh! Let me think, please!" Sage subverts their attention from me back onto the tarot cards laid in front of them----exactly where the bone anklet (bonklet) lay in silence

Ten minutes pass before Sage gives me the break down. "So, as I've said before. The anklet carries some heavy energy, something similar to passion and justice. Very potent stuff. That's what the spirit realm is saying, anyway. When you were---ahem--- HIGH----"

At this point I look away

"...You honed into that energy and that's why you heard the voice"

"Hm. So, how do I hone in on that energy now? Is it something I can control conscious?"

"Look, I dunno kid. Just, be safe. Meditate beforehand so that you are actually able to chime into the anklet's power source. Don't want to darken the talisman's power or anything."

"Sure, sure" I am literally out the door before Sage utters the second part of their sentence. I buzz with excitement at the opportunity and the best part is? I'm basically a super! Hoo ho. This is awesome.

There's an empty industrial facility near by Hawesome Li Cosmetics. It went bankrupt several decads ago. I'm pretty much the only one who knows about the place. Excellent ground to skate on---smooth as butter. Either way, it's empty and no harm will come to anything or anyone nearby. Any damage that I do will be to the building nearby, which no one cares about anyway. "So, it's just me and you buddy." Blunt in hand, I blaze it up. "Time for the magic to happen."

It's a slow high. The high takes as long as a flame reaching the wooden stick of an incense rod for the high to hit. Upwards of thirty minutes. So I wait. It feels like time warps. So I meditate. So I clear my thinking and reach out to the anklet.

"Mhm, Anklet, tell me who you are?"

"What?? You can hear me?"

"Yeah man. Who are you, why you speaking to me?"

"Why would I tell you? I don't even know yer name"

Tiring. It's like talking to a wall.

"Hey, I heard that!"

"Maybel. My name's Maybel. What's yours? Let's start there."

"Nat."

"Like Nat Turner? The rebel slave?"

"Don't know who that is, this 'Nat Turner'. Just knew my master gave me the name." How progressive. "So...I suspect that I'm dead."

It's not easy news. I get it. But hey, the north won. That's something, right?

"Well, I guess it is....you know, I had a name before all of this...."

"......"

"......??"

"......."

So, are you going to tell me?

"You may call me 'Asim'."

"I'll call you Ase."

Don't call me 'Ase'. Too late, Ase. Hey, how old are you anyway? 12? 11? My name is ASIM, nothing else. Fine, grumpy. ASIM. I'll call you Asim, Asim. Where'd that name come from anyway? What does it mean?

"Let's find out, shall we?"

"...It feels electric! (Boogy woogy woogy). Such power, this wade in...glory."

Are you a God?

"Blasphemy!" Then what are you? How are you able to lay such energy unto me?

Look, I don't know either, alright? But what I do know is...we're both negr---

Black. We don't say that word anymore.

"Black, then... Perhaps I'm connected with you due to our shared skin?" We stopped being related millenia ago. Millenia? Not familar with that word.

"Long, long ago. We don't share any common ancestors. It was all a lie." A lie? You don't believe in a God? I'm moreso spiritual; creation is a possibility not something I'm invested in. I believe in forces of the universe. "But not a God? So, this can't be some spiritual connection. We're too different." So perhaps a soul connection? A link between our spirits.... What else do we have in common? A slave and a black kid?

"Hatred of the white man? Wanting justice against them?"

"War. Destruction"

"Yes."

"No, I don't want that. I'd prefer peace." There may be no PEACE without WAR.

"A lie. Violence is not the answer. Kindness is."

"'Kindness' doesn't resolve problems. 'Kindness' doesn't end racism. 'KINDNESS' was the one that slept at my feet while I was lashed! "

"..."

Asim?

"..."

Andddd you're gone. Great. Well, I'm going to head back home, then. We can hang out again tomorrow. "Head back" means leave. All right, see you.

#fiction #original story #writer #writing #tumblr #writers on tumblr #BLM #Politics #Teenagedom #Teen angst #superhero #comicbook writing

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365days365movies · 3 years

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January 26, 2021: The Expendables (2010)

I don’t think you understood how big of a deal this was when it came out, OK? Sylvester Stallone. Dolph Lundgren. Jason Statham. Jet Li. Terry Crews. Randy Couture. Mickey Rooney. In ONE MOVIE? Some of the biggest action stars of all time, in one movie, kicking names and taking ass?

YOU HEARD ME GODDAMIT, IT’S THE EXPENDABLES!

I chose this movie because it contains multiple action stars, rather than just a single one. And since this month started off with Stallone, makes sense to finish with him! Plus, I can also get Statham, Lundgren, and Li in this month! Win-win-win! I’m pumped, no rigamarole needed, LET’S DO IT!!! SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap

It’s 2010, and our introductory villains of choice are Somali pirates! Yayyyyyyy. They’re holding hostage some shipmates, and haven’t received any money for them in a while. However, as they’re making a new demands video, they find themselves lit up by laser-sights.

These lasers are from guns pointed by a group of commandos, sent to deliver the money and rescue the hostages. When they demand more money, one of them fires a warning shot.

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

Well…after that, we get an INSANE action sequence, and some one-liners courtesy of the leader. At the end, one of the men, Gunnar Jensen (Dolph Lundgren), is particularly unhinged. He was the one to fire the warning shot, and he’s about to hang a pirate, which is a little much for this team.

The leader, Barney Ross (Sylvester Stallone) tells him off, and he’s taken down by Yin Yang (Jet Li), who...YIN YANG??? You CANNOT be serious! REALLY? WHO WROTE THIS???

Anyway, they fire Gunnar, and head home from the mission. Lee Christmas (Mickey Rourke) goes home, only to find that his girlfriend has left him for another, less secretive and murdery man. He catches up with Barney, who’s getting tattoo work done by an old friend, Tool (Mickey Rourke).

The next day, Barney accepts a mission from Mr. Church and Trench Mauser, played by...oh my God.

OH GOD, MY WORLD’S ON FIRE

Anyway, Bruce Willis hires Sylvester Stallone for a job which Arnold Schwarzenegger passes on. And I could use their character names, BUT I PHYSICALLY CANNOT TYPE THEM WHILE THEY’RE TOGETHER. THIS IS ALL I EVER WANTED.

Barney accepts the mission, and is confronted by Gunnar, who’s clearly on something. He wants in on the mission, but Barney can’t trust him any more. He leaves, but quite reluctantly.

The group gets together to discuss the mission. This includes Toll Road (Randy Couture) and...Hale Caesar (Terry Crews). Jesus.

The mission: overthrow General Garza (David Zayaz), corrupt dictator on the South American island of Vilena. They make their way to the islands, posing as ornithologists...and I can’t decide if I’m professionally offended by this or not. I’m, uh...I’m in that field. We’ll see how they handle that.

Lee and Barney go to meet a contact for more information, talking about women on the way. And who should walk in but Sandra (Giselle Itié), who I’m calling as an Inevitable Love Interest right now...although I’m not sure for whom. She describes how Americans came and supplied money to Garza, allowing him to ruin the island and take over.

This American is James Monroe (Eric Roberts), and his henchman...STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN (Stone Cold Steven Austin). Sure, I could call him Dan Paine…but, nah, he’s Stone Bold, baby!

As tensions run high between Munroe and Garza, due to a lack of profit on Garza’s end. Meanwhile, as Barney determines Sandra’s guilt, military men come in to take them all in. It’s revealed that Sandra is the General’s daughter, and the group gets into a fight. The men are, of course, defeated handily, and our three escape before Munroe and Garza get there.

However, Sandra refuses to leave as Lee brings her to the chopper. After taking out some guards, Barney joins him...by jumping into the plane from the dock. But they go back, and Statham fires on Garza’s men.. from the outside of the plane. AND THEN THEY SPRAY PLANE FUEL ON THEM AND SET IT ON FUCKING FIRE

youtube

Is this...is this gonna be the whole movie? IS THIS GONNA BE THE WHOLE MOVIE

Anyway, they figure out that Sandra did this immediately, and unambiguously evil Munroe tells Garza to kill his daughter. He also brings in Gunnar, who OF COURSE betrays them. He’s brought in by Roberts, who BY THE WAY, is an ex-FBI agent.

Yup. Apparently, the US Government hired Mr. Church to hire the mercenaries to take care of Munroe, with the assumption that they would die in the process of the mission. So, in other words, they’re like a squad…

Upon learning all of this, the group returns home. Lee goes back to his ex, Lacy (Charisma Carpenter), who’s clearly in an abusive relationship with her current boyfriend. So, Lee does what he does, and BEATS THE EVER-LOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HIS FRIENDS. Barney, meanwhile, goes to talk to Tool, where Mickey Rourke turns in some QUALITY ACTING, LEMME TELL YOU. He talks about a traumatic past mission, and you feel it, lemme tell you.

But back in Vilena, looks like they’re trying to get information out of Sandra via good old-fashioned water boarding! Yaaaaaaaay. It’s not particularly easy to watch. Luckily for her, Barney decides to go back for Sandra, out of guilt. Yang goes along with him this time. However, Gunnar’s been sent to kill them, and this results in a car-gun battle with Barney, Yang, Gunnar, and Monroe’s other men.

They end up in a warehouse, where they engage in a fist fight. As Gunnar’s about to kill Yang, Barney shoots him through the chest. With his last words, Gunnar tells him where to find Munroe. And despite Barney’s initial intent to go alone, the rest of the Expendables go along.

Meanwhile, in Vilena, Garza now turns against Munroe. Y’know, AFTER the whole water boarding torture thing, which seems a little too late for your daughter, buddy. The Expendables storm the castle, so to speak, and they take out all of the men while destroying the drugs in the building, and…

...I am so bored.

No, really, I mean it! I am INCREDIBLY bored by this movie. I don’t know HOW I could be bored at this movie...but I am! Seriously! I feel...wrong. Like, this should be an amazingly engaging movie, but it just...isn’t.

OK, what’s going on? Right, right, Barney decapitated a man with a single knife stroke, saved Sandra, and then they both got captured. Uh, the other Expendables save him, and Barney’s fighting Stone Cold Steve Austin. Which, again...should be exciting? But somehow, the impact just...isn’t there. Is it me? Is this my fault? Why isn’t this exciting to me?

Garza gives Munroe his money back, sick of the death and destruction, apparently. He almost kills Munroe, but his blade is stilled...by his daughter’s heart? He goes outside, and blames everything on the Americans, which is totally fair. Munroe shoots him dead, then escapes with Sandra, Austin, and the money. And then, they blow up the building.

...Which is somehow boring. What...what is happening to me? WHY AM I NOT ENJOYING THIS?

As the Expendables continue shooting and blowing up the place, I slip into a meditative trance. I think on the nature of the action genre, as Terry Crews destroys three sentry towers with a single big gun. And as I watch these men take out everybody without a SINGLE SCRATCH ON THEM EVER...It dawns on me.

There are absolutely no stakes in this movie. I’m not worried about the Expendables, they’re gonna be fine! And even then, I barely know them! Nothing revealed about their characters has gotten me to root for them or even really LIKE them that much. And even then, I still know that they’re going to succeed.

And as Stallone jump-punches Austin in the face, I continue my meditation. The special effects in this movie are noticeably subpar, as is the fight choreography. The face that these guys are basically supermen is boring. And this is coming from a guy whose favorite DC Comics hero IS SUPERMAN.

As Stone Cold Steve Austin burns to death, it isn’t even Stallone who delivers the final face punch. Instead, it’s Toll, WHOM I DO NOT REALLY KNOW. And as they take down a helicopter using nothing but a single gun and Terry Crews’ muscles, I feel NOTHING.

As Barney confronts Munroe, and Munroe shoots him, I zone out as Munroe monologues, and is summarily shot and stabbed. As expected. And as Barney and Lee trade some more quipped lines, a line of Monroe’s resonates with me. He said that both of them are dead inside, and that’s how this entire movie feels: soulless, without substance or true purpose. It just. Feels. Empty.

Am I numb to the violence? Is it just that it was too much at once? Is it this month, or just this movie? And as Barney and Lee take off into the sunrise and head to Tool’s to celebrate, I...genuinely don’t care. And I also know that I won’t remember ANYTHING in this movie. And then, AND THEN, JUST when I think I couldn’t care less, JUST when I think there were no stakes whatsoever…

GUNNAR’S ALIVE?!? YOU GODDAMN KIDDING ME???

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toxophilitis · 3 years

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Daddy’s Little Girls cont.

CHAPTER EIGHT

In the morning, Lynette served breakfast in bed to Mark and Betty. It was all very elegantly done, with the breakfast laid out on a tray, and Lynette clad in the black negligee Olive had left behind the night before. Mark was wearing his smug grin and nothing else. Blonde Betty looked very pretty lying half under the covers, with her nice, round tits showing over them. She hardly glanced at the breakfast tray, instead looking at Lynette in the slinky but loose-fitting black lace, and saying, "Where in the heck did you get that?"

Lynette smiled. "It's a secret. I might tell you later." She did a pirouette, showing Betty the overall sheerness of the garment and its revealingly low back. "A friend of mine has lots more things like this."

"She does?" said Betty.

"It looks like it'd be awful cold in the winter," said Mark.

Betty jabbed him with her elbow. "Oh, what do you know about anything besides fucking?"

"Have fun. See you later," said Lynette, and she left the room in a swirl of lace.

Inside of ten minutes Betty was in Lynette's mom, demanding to know where the negligee came from and asking if she could try it on. Lynette had already taken it off and hidden it in her closet, and no threats her cousin could make would make her reveal where it was. She only laughed at the threats and said, "I'd show you that and lots more this afternoon, if Mark wasn't around to pester us. My friend's got lots of sexy underthings."

"It's Olive Cook, isn't it? Isn't it Olive from next door?"

"Get rid of my brother this afternoon and you'll see."

"Who wants to go see that nasty old woman?" asked Betty.

That afternoon Betty had an argument with Mark, and he went riding off on his bicycle to the Boy's Club. There was a fine, pink tinge to Betty's fair cheeks as she looked expectantly at her cousin. They were both dressed in shorts and tank tops when Lynette got Olive's negligee out of her closet and led her cousin to Olive's back door.

"I knew it! I just knew it was her!" Betty said as they knocked. She was wringing her hands together and looking almost fearfully at the door. "Remember what she said about wanting to put her head between our legs? We're sure not going to let her do that. Are we, Lynette? Are we?"

"We're just going visiting. Don't worry."

Betty clutched Lynette's arm when Olive opened the back door. The brunette woman looked stunning. Her jet black hair waved in a wild jumble of curls all about her grinning and well made-up face. She wore high-heeled black shoes and glossy, black nylon hose. Her panties and bra were black satin, tight and brief, with the leg holes of her panties rising almost to their waistband and the top of her bra so low that her brown aureoles peeped out. Her hip-length black peignoir, made of sheer lace, slipped down from one shoulder as she gestured the teenaged girls inside her house with the beer can she held in her manicured hand. Lynette winked at Olive. Betty's bare feet faltered as she went inside.

Olive chatted away about the hot weather as she opened the refrigerator door and handed each of the girls a can of beer. Betty sipped it without once taking her eyes from the huge tits and broadly bulging cunt of the lady in black lace and satin. Lynette left her beer untouched as Olive led them into her living room.

The girls sat side by side on the couch and Olive sat in a big leather chair facing them. She chatted away about nothing at all in particular while she constantly shifted her position and moved her hands over her body in a frankly sensuous fashion. Lynette kept petting and touching Betty in a reassuring fashion, while Betty nervously sat and sipped, and stared. Her eyes grew even wider when Olive sauntered over to stand close before them, her hand on her cocked hip. The room smelled strongly of her perfume.

"Well," she said. "Do you feel like going into my bedroom and having a fashion show? I've got some real interesting things in there, Betty, and I know some of them would fit you just fine."

Betty hesitated, and Lynette urged her on. Betty started blushing when Lynette stripped out of her clothes, and all of Betty's body was glowing pink by the time she'd permitted Lynette and Olive to strip her naked, too. Olive and Lynette flanked Betty closely as Olive showed the girls the contents of her chest of drawers.

The drawers held a rich array of lingerie. Betty's eagerness grew as each new drawer was opened. At first she had flinched away from the touch of Olive's hand, but soon enough she was letting Olive touch her back and her firm, plump ass as she looked through the drawers and fondled their contents. Betty was clearly enthralled by the soft, pretty things in the drawers, but she recoiled in shock when Olive opened the box on top of the chest of drawers and showed the girls a half dozen false pricks of varying sizes.

"What're those?" Betty said in horror.

"Plastic cocks!" Lynette said. She picked up the largest one, a double-ended device clearly meant to be used by two lusty women at once.

"These are dildos. For lonely women," Olive said, and still caressing Betty's bare back, she picked up a small, battery-operated dildo and placed it in Betty's reluctant hands.

Betty looked like she was going to be sick. Several times she tried to put the dildo down, but her hand could not release it. At last Olive laughed and took it from her, tossed it carelessly on the bed behind them, and said, "Come on. Try on some of my things."

In no time at all Lynette was dressed in a hip-length nightie of clinging red satin, and Betty looked lovely in a gauzy and billowing negligee of purest white. Her ample, round tits showed clearly through it, as did her fine, round ass and her blonde-fringed cunt. Both Olive and Lynette were admiring Betty very closely as they sat her down on the bed between them.

"What nice tits you have, Betty," said Olive. "And don't they feel nice through this pretty nightgown."

"Don't. I'm so ticklish."

"I bet this would really tickle," said Lynette, giggling as she picked up the plastic dildo and turned it on, then ran its smoothly tapered, vibrating end through the crack of Betty's groin.

"Don't! I'll wet my pants!"

"Here's how it's done," said Olive. She took the dildo from Lynette to show the girls how it was used.

She drew aside the narrow crotch band of her panties. Betty acted shocked, but she watched closely as Olive parted her fleshy, big cunt lips and eased the dildo inside. And she watched more closely still when Olive stood up and eased the plastic prick in and out of the leg hole of her panties, and in and out of her black-haired cunt.

Lynette, still fondling and caressing her cousin wherever she could reach her, said, "I bet that would fit in your cunt just right."

"Oh, no! It's too big."

"It's not too big for your asshole. Oooo! Just think how it would feel up there."

Betty squirmed on the bed and said, "No, I won't think about that at all."

"Then don't think at all, and we'll do it for you," said Olive.

Lynette easily pushed Betty back on the bed. Though Betty was weakly protesting, Lynette held her still with tickling and fondling, while Olive removed the dildo from her cunt, crouched down, and placed Betty's feet on the edge of the bed.

"Don't! Please don't! It's too big!" Betty kept telling them, as Olive screwed the cunt-wet dildo in through the tight, pink ring of her asshole. The long skirt of her borrowed nightie was up around her waist and she was almost beside herself with hot and fearful excitement when Olive got up on the bed at her other side and signaled for Russ to come out of the closet.

His upright cock was hard and white, and his knob was bulbous and ruddy red. At the first sight of his cock and his balls and all of his naked body, Betty screamed and tried to struggle free from the soft hands that held her down.

Her screams were ignored and Russ excitedly kneeled between Betty's kicking legs. Lynette was barely able to hold Betty down as Olive bent down to prepare Russ' cock for Betty's cunt. Bett watched closely through glinting eyes, as Olive held Russ' cock in her hands and rubbed his big knob through the dewy, wet lips of Betty's blonde cunt.

"Lemme put it in her! Lemme fuck her!" said Russ.

"Not wet enough yet!" said Olive, and she took Russ' cock-knob into her mouth, wetting it liberally with her saliva. With his cock still in her hand, she then used her saliva to wet Betty's squirming cunt, running her very long tongue up and down through her cunt's tight, pink lips and tight hole. She was smacking her lips as she sat up again and drew Russ' cock-head against Betty's tight cunt.

"Wait! No! It's top big!" Betty shouted, as Olive pushed Russ' cockhead into her cunt.

"E-E-E-E-E-EK!" Betty screamed loudly. Russ drew back an inch and then surged forward, with half of his hard, cock plunging into her cunt.

Olive held Betty's cunt lips open while Russ worked his cock ever deeper in Betty's tight cunt.

"Oh! No! It's splitting me! It's killing me!" Betty cried, struggling, and twisting, but only succeeding in getting more cock in her cunt.

"I can't stand it! It hurts!" she wailed. Russ drew back for a moment and then started fucking her.

His long, thick cock sawed in and out of Betty's well-wetted cunt. On his knees, he grinned and stroked Betty's thighs with his hands, while he stroked her cunt with his cock. Olive helped them by massaging Betty's clitoris, and Lynette did her part by fondling and squeezing Betty's tits.

Russ was displaying finesse in his fucking technique. The dildo squirted out of Betty's asshole as he lunged fully into her cunt with his cock, slamming his brown-haired loins up against her open crotch, and slapping her ass with his balls. Over and over he did this while Betty screamed and squealed and struggled. Olive and Lynette excitedly watched.

"She's getting a really good fucking!" said Olive. "Yes, and it's just what she needed!" said Lynette.

Russ reached down toward Betty's tits as he fucked her. He tore open her negligee, making her scream anew, and he mauled her jigging tits with both hands while he continued to drive his hard cock up into her tender cunt. The fit of his cock inside her cunt looked incredibly tight. On each of his cock's out strokes, his cock would draw out the lips of her cunt, and on each of his cock's plunges inside her feebly contorting body, his cock pushed her cunt lips back in. Olive was on the bed next to Lynette, and was clinging quite tightly to the slender redhead, saying, "After they've had their fun while we watch it, I'll show you how to use that double-ended dildo."

"They've got a way to go yet," said Lynette, and she spread her legs for Olive and reached for Olive's cunt.

Russ clenched his teeth in a grimace and surged harder still in Betty's cunt. "He's cumming!" said Lynette. His cock slipped out of Betty's cunt and spurted a long streamer of pearly whiteness up over her palpitating belly and onto her jouncing tits. He had his cock back inside her in a moment, cumming hard and fucking harder as Betty squealed and at last fucked back at him. She wrapped her legs around his hips and held him as he surged and surged and squirted and squirted within her. Her legs were still contracting rhythmically, trying for one more stroke of his slippery, long cock, when he sighed and went limp on top of her sweating body.

"Now we'll show them how we fuck," said Olive.

"In a minute," said Lynette. Russ had rolled off of Betty, and his cock had slipped out of her cunt. His cock was still thick and hard, all covered with gleaming semen and cunt juice as it sprang up from his loins. Betty moved to her cousin's side, helped the somewhat dazed girl sit up, and pointed at Russ' cock.

"Look. There it is. There's the cock that gave you so much pleasure. You ought to kiss it and show Russ how much you liked it."

"But it's so... big," said Betty, looking at Russ' cock as if she couldn't believe all that meat could have fit into the diminutive cunt between her legs.

"All the better to kiss and suck," Lynette told her, and then showed her how by crouching down at Russ' side and taking his cock in her hand, licking and lapping and sliding her mouth down over his cock.

"I guess I didn't get quite enough of it," Betty said, as she crawled around to Russ' other side, where she shared with Lynette in kissing and sucking Russ' stiff cock.

Russ lay back and enjoyed it while his breathing evened out. Betty and Lynette were licking him clean and enjoying it greatly, tongue-washing his balls and sucking his cock both at the same time. Their darling, naked asses sticking up in the air were too much for Olive, and she moved between them, feeling and tasting hot, cunt. Lynette was too thoroughly involved in. Russ' slippery, wet cock to pay much attention to Olive, but Betty grinned at the brunette in the sexy, black panties and bra.

Olive grinned back at Betty and beckoned to her. Betty left Russ' cock to Lynette, and turned around on the bed, fascinated by Olive. Olive teased Betty into coming closer by caressing her satin-clad tits and cunt. And then Betty started feeling Olive's tits and her cunt as Olive guided her. Lynette watched, very contentedly sucking on Russ' cock, while Olive kissed Betty hard and deep on the mouth.

Olive told Betty, "It's time you learned how to eat cunt. I taught your cousin, and now I'll teach you."

"Oh, yes! I want to learn! I do!" Betty said. She crouched on the bed and kissed the black bulge of Olive's big cunt.

"I'll do it to you first to show you how," Olive said. "Stand up."

Betty did as she was told. With her feet wide apart and her hands on her hips, she stood looking down as Olive began lancing with her tongue through the wet slit of her juicy cunt. Lynette and Russ watched them from behind Betty. It looked as if Olive's tongue was lifting Betty up on her tiptoes. She was squealing, and gasping breathlessly as Olive's tongue did its flashing work. Betty dug her fingers deeply into her naked ass, as waves of deep pleasure swept through her body. Olive sucked and tongued her clitoris and held onto her thighs with both hands.

Olive backed off, smacking her lips, and said, "That's the way it's done. Think you can do it now?"

"Oh, yes!" said Betty, and she quickly dropped down to her knees.

Olive stood up and said, "Take off my panties for me, Angel-face. And then do a job on my cunt."

Betty tugged at the black satin panties. They were very tight. Betty's round, white ass was wriggling with her efforts, and seeing this inspired Russ to pull his cock out of Lynette's mouth and go after Betty. The blonde teenager had just drawn Olive's panties down below the black thatch of her cunt when Russ grabbed Betty's hips. She squealed as he hauled her back toward him, and kneeling, she took Russ' cock up her cunt from a different position.

"My gosh! Oh, my gosh!" Betty said, for Russ was driving his cock up her cunt with more vigor than before. He was in the perfect position for fucking, on his knees with his hands on Betty's round rump. She had to brace herself against the onslaught of his cock. Her belly sagged downward and her tits did a dance as Russ fucked her relentlessly, driving his big, thick cock through the lips of her cunt and into her gut.

The love juice was running down her inner thighs. Russ was fucking her with rhythmic intensity. The expression on her face was one of absolute bliss.

Olive pulled her panties off and lay down on the bed in front of Betty. With her nyloned legs outspread, she scooted forward and held Betty's blonde head, saying, "Put your pretty mouth to work, Angel-face. My cunt's all hot and itchy for your mouth. Eat it, baby! Show me how grateful to me you are for my arranging for Russell to give you such a nice fucking."

Lynette remembered how repelled she had been at the sight and smell of Olive's big cunt. It didn't seem to bother Betty a bit. She lunged forward for it with her tongue thrust out, spreading Olive's big, fat cunt lips with her fingers. In no time at all she was sucking and licking Olive's cunt with unbridled gusto.

"Oh, yeah-h-h," Olive crooned, humping upward slowly and smiling sensuously. "Eat cunt, baby! Suck my clitty and make me feel real good!"

Lynette picked up the vibrator and found it to be still softly buzzing. She quickly wet it by inserting it into her cunt, thrilling to the deep tickling it produced in her slick, tight cunt. Then she moved toward Russ and held his ass cheeks apart, while she screwed and worked it in his ass.

"Hey, what're you doing? Hey, cut it out!" he exclaimed at first, but then he clenched his asshole tight around the dildo and increased the tempo of his hard-driving cock.

Having doubled his pleasures, Lynette crawled over to Olive, who reached out to greet her and gave her a great big kiss. Lynette pushed away from the kiss and shaved Olive flat on her back on the bed, and said, "Do you feel like putting your pretty mouth to work, too?"

"Baby, yes!" said Olive, and she helped Lynette sit down on her chest.

Lynette was so comfortable there. Olive cupped Lynette's buttocks so she couldn't fall off, and Lynette reached behind her and took hold of Olive's tits. Olive was doing a beautiful job on Lynette's cunt, sucking and licking and tonguing with steady ardor. Lynette could look down and see it all, while behind her Betty ate Olive's cunt and Russ screwed her while the battery-operated dildo screwed him.

Olive was sucking her harder and harder. Lynette could feel her clitoris growing. "Suck me and lick me, Olive!" she cried. "Let's all cum together, starting right now!"

The lovely explosions ripped through her, and under her tensing ass she could feel orgasms racing through Olive. Betty's muffled cries told of the climaxes she was reaching, and Russ' gargling groans did the same.

"CUM! EVERYBODY CUM AND CUM AND CUM!" cried Lynette, squirming and rubbing her heavily gushing cunt against Olive's eager mouth.

"Shooting... a gallon!" said Russ, and each of his heavily spurting insertions now drove Betty's face harder against Olive's hot cunt.

Olive's bedroom was filled with the smell of sex, and the sounds of it echoed off the ceiling. Rich juices flowed and squirted and leaked out on the bedspread while all four of them peaked and soared and peaked again, straining upward toward ever higher ecstasy. Just before Lynette swooned from the joys of it all, she thought she would never know any greater ecstasies in her life -- but she was quite wrong about that.

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mexicancat-girl · 3 years

Text

Miraculously Supernatural

Ao3: Link

Wordcount: 2,720, Rated M for character death and one implied sexual scene.

A Miraculous Ladybug fic that's a parody of the Supernatural ending, because those final two episodes were too ridiculous and I felt compelled to. I'm sorry to the Supernatural fans.

...

"I love you," Nathaniel states.

Felix stares back at him blankly, looking like he's barely holding himself back from saying a slur.

Adrien just watches with awkward horror as Nathaniel dies, being pulled into a portal into what looks like Super Mega Hell. "Nathaniel…! Oh my fucking God, he's fucking dead!"

"He dies all the time," Felix reminds him flatly.

"Well, yeah but...Felix, he literally just confessed to you? That's different. Shouldn't we... I dunno... try and bring him back again...?"

"He's an angel, he'll find his way out. He always does."

"Felix, he literally went to Super Mega Hell for being gay for you," Adrien reminds him irately, crossing his arms. "The least you can do is pretend to give a shit."

"I'm still in shock," Felix says, in his usual flat voice, not seeming to feel much of anything. "Now excuse me while I throw up."

"Better than saying a slur, I guess..." Adrien mutters with pure disappointment. Five years and fifteen seasons of homoerotic tension, and Felix was just as emotionally constipated and homophobic as the start.

At least Adrien had a love interest...which was only introduced last season...and who barely got any screen time... But hey! Marinette was a nice enough girl!

...

“So…” Adrien starts awkwardly, wanting to finally address the elephant in the room. “About Nathaniel…”

“What about him?” Felix asks, raising a delicate brow, completely disinterested.

“You…You sad he’s gone, or…?”

Felix just gives a shrug. “Yeah. Shit sucks, I guess.”

“Oh.”

“We should go somewhere else. Keep moving,” his brother declares, finally finishing chugging his coffee and smashing the empty container under his steel-toed shoes, in a very manly fashion.

Well, Adrien should have expected this. His older brother always ran away from his feelings. And problems. And everything in life that was vaguely troubling, like the emotionally constipated and paranoid bastard he was.

At the very least, these habits have kept them alive so far. There’s that silver lining.

...

“Y’know, I didn’t realize the Insane Clown Posse was still touring,” Adrien jokes, sweating nervously at the group of juggalos surrounding the pair of brothers.

“Very funny,” one of the juggalos rasps, baring his teeth, and. Alright. Those were vampire fangs.

“Really…?” Felix asks long sufferingly, rolling his eyes. “Is this the best the writers could come up with? Juggalo vampires?”

“With knives!” one of said juggalo vampires says cheerily, raising a knife, his face split half-white half-black down the middle. Not very clown-like, but Adrien was willing to give him A for effort and his nice smile that made his emerald eyes glitter charmingly.

Felix, like the complete weeb he is, readies his shuriken and starting chucking them like he’s a Naruto character. Adrien ducks and rolls, slashing at the enemies’ heels with his claw-gloves and readying his baton.

“Ah, hello again, Kagami,” Felix says silkily, in his Protagonist Fighting Voice.

“How could you tell it was me?” asks the masked woman.

“You aren’t dressed as a juggalo, for one. Two, this show has such a minimal amount of female characters, I could have thrown any name of a woman out there and had a good one in ten chance of getting it correct.”

“Make that a thirty-seventy chance, since most of the women die in the show!” Adrien calls back, because he is all for equality and getting statistics correct.

“Yes, of course. My mistake,” Felix states dryly.

“I hate this fucking show,” Kagami sighs, tired and exasperated.

“You’re not the only one.” And then Felix promptly kills Kagami anti-climatically. “I hope you enjoyed your one scene with dialogue.”

“Felix, why didn’t you kill her with your shuriken? You know your best weapon is your shuriken!” Adrien scolds. “I know we’re in the season finale and things should be wrapping up, but—”

And then the younger blond watches before his very eyes as his brother is impaled.

“NOOOOOOO!” Adrien shrieks, going on a vengeance-fueled rampage to kill the rest of the juggalo knife vampires. He then runs over to his impaled brother, who was impaled by huge…rusty nails? He thinks? Listen, he was too fucking tired to question it. “Felix! Felix, talk to me!”

“I’m sorry, little brother,” Felix rasps, coughing out blood, the red liquid splattering down his chin. “I was…careless.”

“You’re gonna be okay, Lix,” Adrien sniffles, clutching his brother’s hand in his. “You’ve survived worse! Like, you’ve literally fist fought God! You’ve survived fifteen seasons of this shit, you can—”

“I can’t come back from this.”

“But why?!” Adrien demands, tears budding in his green eyes.

“Because…I want you to live…”

“I can bring you back! I can, I swear—”

“You really think the writers will do that, when they want to end this flaming trash heap?” Felix chuckles, with a slight smile, lips coated red.

“But you survived so much! How will the audience even believe you died from murderous vampire juggalos?!”

“They won’t…This is…the stupidest fucking thing the showrunners could have done,” his older brother rasps with a sassy and bitchy roll of his eyes. “Fucking morons…Total brain rot…I knifed God, and this is the thanks I get…”

“You’ve died plenty of times before, I can just bring you back, Felix, it’s gonna be—”

“No. Let me die in peace, you dumb, whiny little bitch,” the other blonde growls. “I’ve been stuck in this hellhole of a show for fifteen fucking years. Let me die already. I don’t care about the situation being braindead and unrealistic. I don’t care about the mechanics. We’ll just say that resurrecting me when you’re alone it too dangerous because it takes a toll on you that’s too great to pay. Before, Nathaniel could resurrect one or both of his because of his holy powers. Without him, doing this is pretty much impossible.”

“I can’t fucking believe that in your death scene, you’re actually giving an in-universe explanation that’s more realistic than what the writers of the show can come up with,” Adrien weeps while laughing.

“It’s a skill,” Felix deadpans, his grey eyes going soft as he brings a bloody hand up to gently touch Adrien’s cheek. “Listen…Go live your life…Live a long and full one…Marry and have children and grow old…All the stereotypical mushy shit, alright? You go and do that.”

“But you’re my brother. You’ve protected me from so much, never left my side,” the younger one whimpers, green eyes red-rimmed and face pulled into a visage of pure grief. “Please…”

“Stop dragging this out. You’re giving the incest shippers more to work with,” the older one states, before his eyes go glassy and he stops breathing.

Adrien wails, burying his face in the space of the other’s chest that wasn’t impaled, sobbing his heart out and clutching his dead protector.

...

Adrien burns Felix’s body. It’s what his older brother would have wanted. No physical remains, no possibility for his body to be taken by any of the monsters lurking in the world.

Adrien burns his brother’s body, and keeps moving.

...

Adrien is in a shoddy motel the next day. He only has one slice of toast for breakfast, to show how sad he is of his brother’s untimely demise.

...

Adrien is wearing glasses and his hair is a shoddy grey comb-over, to show that time has passed. He looks like a very tired university professor on tenure that no one is quite sure what subject he even teaches.

He’s in front of a house, in the lawn. “Lix! C’mere, Felix!”

A little boy with sandy hair and a bright smile runs at him, and Adrien hugs his son. His wife stands back, watching the scene.

Does he end up marrying Marinette? Another woman? Who knows. Fuck the fans for wanting to know that answer, amirite?

Adrien goes through the motions, and hopes the finale will end soon.

...

Trees. As far as the eyes can see. Trees, and a mountain range in the distance, dirt road under his feet.

“My love…” Felix whispers, tears budding in his steel-grey eyes, which have softened with pure love and passion. “I…I thought I’d never see you again…”

He stumbles forwards, stopping in front of the beauty in front of him. He carefully reaches a hand out, before gently placing his fingertips against the silk-smooth surface.

“Plagg, you little bastard, I didn’t even know cars could go to Heaven…” Felix breathes out a laugh, one of elation, tears spilling out of his eyes. He sniffles and wipes them away.

“Well, this is Heaven. Anything you could ever want would be here,” a voice says kindly.

Felix blinks, whirling around to stare at the man sitting in a rocking chair in front of a saloon he hadn’t noticed was there before. Next to the familiar man was an equally familiar ice cream cart.

“Andre…?” the blonde asks, confused. “I—What the fuck are you doing here? You’re a minor character.”

“Yeah, but I’m a minor character that was confirmed to have gone to Heaven,” the portly man says, nodding back at the monster hunter. “The writers couldn’t really think of anyone else to throw in here to serve as your guide, so here I am.”

“Well. Alright then,” Felix blinks back.

“C’mon, son. Lemme share with you some teen-rated friendly ice cream.”

“Suspiciously worded and a suspicious request, but I’ll play along,” the blonde shrugs carelessly, striding forwards.

The portly man hums, digging through his ice cream cart, creating the perfect cone in front of Felix’s eyes.

“Red velvet for his hair, cheesecake for his wings, and blue sherbet for his eyes and soul,” the ice cream man says kindly, handing the cone over to Felix, who takes it with numb fingers.

“Thank you,” he tells the man stiffly, carefully licking at the cone.

“This place has everything you could ever want…Except…” Andre’s face turns sympathetic and soft with sadness. “Well, he’ll be here, eventually. Time works different here than it does where Nathaniel is at. But he’s an angel. He’ll find his way back here.”

“…Sure,” Felix says, lips twisting into an awkward half-smile. This is Heaven. He can’t go calling an angel a homophobic slur. He’ll end up switching places with Nathaniel, or something.

Besides, Andre was kind enough to make him an ice cream cone. And it was a rather nice ice cream. So Felix enjoys the cone, for about five minutes.

“Can I go back to Plagg, now? My baby needs me,” Felix asks five minutes later in almost a whine, sick and tired of the ice cream flavors that reminded him too much of Nathaniel.

The portly man chuckles. “Go on, then, Felix. Go on.”

The blonde grins toothily and runs back to the Impala. “Ohhhh, baby, how I’m glad to see you…!” he coos, opening the door and sliding in. He breathes in familiar scent of his reliable, manly, super sexy heterosexual car. “Now, let’s crank it!”

Felix’s smile fills his entire mouth as he chucks his unfinished cone out the window, turns the ignition on, and revs the engine.

Plagg drives smoothly, like a cat purring. Felix turns on the radio, Carry On My Wayward Son playing as he drives through Heaven. Maybe he can find a place he can look over Adrien from. That would be nice. He wants to see if his little brother actually had kids or not. And see how ugly he’s gotten from old age.

...

Adrien’s hair has now turned white, to show how even more time has passed.

Carry On My Wayward Son, but it’s a cover from Evanescence, plays in the Impala as Felix parks the car and watches his little brother be an old man.

...

Nathaniel sighs and taps his fingernails against the desk he was sitting at, in Super Mega Hell’s bureaucratic offices.

“What the fuck is taking them so long to revive me again…?” the gay angel mutters, pouting. “They usually don’t take this long! Are they not doing it because Nathaniel feels awkward about everything…? Did one of them die, so they don’t have enough energy to complete the ritual…?”

The redheaded angel sighs, feeling guilty. “Poor Adrien…He always was a nice lad. I hope he enjoys Heaven, at least. I went and fixed it up quite well. Shame he has to use it so quickly… Felix must be grieving so terribly…”

“You look sad, Nath. You want me to suck you off?” asks his underling softly—a fellow named Marc who died as a juggalo knife-wielding vampire. Despite Marc’s strange make-up, he had a kind smile and pretty green eyes, and Nathaniel was fond of the lad.

“You don’t have to!” Nathaniel says quickly, face going warm, suddenly incredibly shy. “You’re not obligated to do anything you wouldn’t like to do—”

“But I want to,” Marc says warmly, already sliding onto his knees and unbuckling Nathaniel’s belt. “I’ll get your mind off your little boyfriend, alright?”

Nathaniel is about to protest about Felix being his boyfriend—after all, he’d just confessed before being dragged into Super Mega Hell, so he hasn’t had the time to have a proper conversation with Felix over them even dating—but then Marc fulfills his offer. Nathaniel’s mind goes hazy with pleasure, complicated thoughts about the Agreste brothers flying straight out the window.

...

Adrien Agreste lies on his deathbed, dying from old age. The shot transitions from him lying down with closed eyes, to opening them, his face unwrinkled and youthful once more.

All around him are trees, with a mountain range in the distance, a dirt road under his feet. He turns, and startles, seeing someone he’d lost so long ago.

“F-Felix…?” he asks waveringly, tears in his eyes and throat instantly clogging.

His older brother is as youthful and healthy as the last day before his death. He’s got his arms crossed, leaning his hip against the sleek, black Impala, a wide and toothy smirk on his face.

“Took you long enough,” Felix teases, jerking his head and opening his arms. “C’mere—”

Adrien runs and tackles his brother in his hug, Felix yelping as the two land on the ground.

“Careful here,” Felix grouses, but he’s smiling as he speaks. “You’ll give the incest shippers more fodder.”

“Fuck the crazy shippers, I missed you, you fucking asshole.”

“What did I just say?” Felix sighs, fondly exasperated. He wriggles out of Adrien’s hold, getting up, before offering his hand. Adrien quickly takes it, allowing his brother to pull him up and clap his hand on Adrien’s shoulder. “Welcome back.”

“It’s good to be back,” Adrien smiles with all his teeth, before he looks next to him at the Impala. “Uh…Not to be a Debbie downer, but where’s Nathaniel? And why’s Plagg here? Can a car even go to Heaven…?”

“No clue,” Felix chirps, before he rubs the top of the Impala’s hood like a loving pet own would their cat. “But I’m glad he’s here.”

Adrien deadpans back at him, “You’re grateful your car’s with you, but not the man that went to Super Mega Hell for you?”

“Details, details,” Felix waves his hand dismissively. “Andre told me about Nathaniel—”

“Andre the ice cream man? How’d a minor character like him show up at the finale?”

“You’re asking a lot from the writers of this shitshow,” Felix deadpans back at him. “Anyways, he said Nathaniel would take some time to come back up to Heaven.”

“Dude, that’s pretty homophobic.”

The other shrugs. “All the gays are in Hell anyways. He’s probably having the time of his life down there. He’s aesthetically attractive, he’s probably gotten a few booty calls.”

“You’re the straightest and most ridiculously homophobic man I know, and I am so sorry he’s in love with someone like you,” Adrien says with disgust, wrinkling his nose. “How a selfless angel is in Hell and a homophobic, prickly bastard like you is in Heaven, I’ll never understand.”

“I reap the benefit of the rewards from the terrible writing,” Felix smirks like the devil, throwing up the horns.

Adrien looks into the camera like he’s in The Office. Felix looks into the camera too, his face now startlingly blank, but somehow expressing the full weight of his homophobia. Carry On My Wayward Son plays one final time.

The end.

#supernatural spoilers #parody #nathaniel kurtzberg #adrien agreste #felix de graham vanily #marc anciel #andre the ice cream man #miraculous ladybug #fic #supernatural series finale #mexicat writes

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