#I'm totally mentally healthy
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Train Wreck Pup, Adopted
Here's a little thing I wrote based on a TikTok I saw a while back. Crewel was the first character I thought of, so I decided to make a very indulgent fanfic chapter based on the concept. It's a modern AU and Ren, the Insert/reader, meets him on a train. This is probably the longest piece of singular writing I'll post for a long time, but oh well.
Notes:
Crewel is a platonic/filial Soft!Yandere
Epel, Vil, and Neige show up in the latter half.
Non-Canon characters feature prominently.
This follows Indulgent FanFic tropes
Non-Canon Yanderes are included
This Universe has a fairly high density of Yanderes even if they don't showcase such features in the segment of the story.
Inclusion of a character sibling
TW: Yandere (In the latter half), Swearing, Mild Violence
“An E-Mail? Was I denied entry into the event? … Woah, Woah! I got in!! I still need a few more designs, but I can start actually putting some of these looks together in the frenzy! This is so cool.” I hop up from my chair and twirl around a few times, stopping and excitedly shaking my hands. “Yay! Oh, shoot- I need to leave tonight- Thank you organizers for the free ticket. But aaaahhh rushed prep time!” I add after glancing back at the E-mail.
Before long I’m out the door with a suitcase in one hand and my sketchbook in the other ready to board the train. While waiting for the train I open my phone and glance at the rules for the Flash Forward Frenzy fashion event
“Oh right, I should message Vera later. I can do that on the train. Rules first.” I mumble.
The event surrounded using old materials to create new looks. Clothes that were maybe used once and thrown away were collected to be used and made into outfits we could wear. The event itself was a massive hit, it was always fun to watch people create incredible things out of the most unexpected materials. But it was an even more exciting time this year since the esteemed Divus Crewel, Vil Shoenheit, and Neige LeBlanche were going to be there as guest stars designing alongside smaller names like myself.
I am well aware of the fact that I’m unlikely to run into big-name figures like Divus or Vil, but I’m excited to see their works regardless. Vil is also a prominent actor, so I’m certain that his presentation of works will have an air of drama and intrigue. My designs aren’t going to be as glamorous, but they will be different and interesting. I’m confident that they’ll fill in someone else’s niche desires if nothing else. Luckily the rules don’t say anything again the use of magic to process fabrics. Given this, I can use my ability to create a base from the drawings I’ve already made and the necessary fabrics and thread, which are provided for the event. I can only do this once or twice per day for extremely complex ideas due to the amount of magic it takes. I don’t want to risk an over-blot from excess magic use on stage, so I’ll save magic for my most intricate piece.
My thoughts are interrupted by the arrival of the train. The ride is twelve hours with various stops between here and the Glamour Isle. Needless to say, I have plenty of time to work on more concepts while I’m on the train. After about two hours someone sits next to me, but I don’t look at them since I’m busy and that could be rude. At some point in time, I hear a familiar disapproving sigh from their general direction. I ignore it at first to finish my sketches and notes for a piece from my fantasy set.
“Why does it sound so familiar though?” I mumble to myself before glancing over to where I heard the sigh. It feels like my face should contort in surprise when I realize who it is, but surprisingly I just stare blankly for a moment before shaking my head.
“Ah sorry for staring.” I quickly mumble as Divus Crewel of all people looks back at me and smiles with a tinge of concern, “You must be on your way to Glamour Isle too then?” I mumble awkwardly. I already knew that he was going in that direction, but I didn’t know what else to say since I had already begun to engage in a, perhaps one-sided, conversation.
“You don’t plan on wearing something like that in Glamour Isle do you?” Divus asks, raising an eyebrow.
“Ah, I mean I think this is fine? My work is going to be center stage with everyone else’s, I don’t really need to stand out, just my work does.”
“My my, and you have such an interesting design palette too. A pup like you would do well with proper grooming. No show dog looks scruffy on stage my dear, and neither should you.” Did he compare me to a show dog? Wait, he’s actually talking to me? I mean he’s belittling my pathetic messy dad aesthetic, but like, he’s talking to me?
“Ah- well. Yes. You’re correct, but in the case of show dogs, the stage is set for them to display their obedience, finesse, and beauty. I don’t see how this correlates to me specifically when a fashion show is about fashion and its resonance with the models and crowd. But I appreciate the compliment. I’m quite proud of my capabilities and I’m excited to share them.” I start a little nervous before settling into a matter-of-fact tone.
“Little pup, fashion is about far more than just aesthetics. Appearance has a larger impact than you may realize. As an aspiring designer, it’s important to note the politics as well.”
“I suppose that makes sense. Thank you for the advice. I’ll make sure to keep it in mind.” I say with a small smile. I look back at my work and sketch for a bit longer before giving my hands a break and doing quick hand exercises. I can’t help but glance over at Divus a couple of times after that just to see if he’s still judging my fashion or whatever caught his attention before. This was starting to feel like a dream. For one, no one was approaching Divus Crewel which is unusual, but he was sitting next to me to attend the same event which meant he might take a closer look at my work. Around the four-hour mark, Divus spoke to me again.
“It’s good to be serious about your work, but you still have a couple of days until the event takes full swing. For now, you should rest or you’ll be exhausted when you reach the Isle. Pups that exhaust themselves needlessly miss playing with their owners.” He chimes leaning back leisurely but still exuding elegance and an air of authority.
“I’ll be fine. But thank you for your concern.” I say after a small pause allowing me to process what just happened.
“There aren’t going to be many passengers in this train car. That can quell your concerns about taking up space or being a bother if that is what holds you back.” Divus states confidently.
“Ah, well that is one thing. But I’ve always had difficulties sleeping in moving vehicles. I can close my eyes and drift a bit, but any unusual movement or stop will jolt me awake. I’m not sure how much that little bit of rest would help haha.” I explain after a few moments of silence. I didn’t want to lie to him or come up with something that he could feasibly change for me that I just didn’t realize. I already felt like I was accruing debt by talking to him quite frankly.
“Have you ever ridden this train before? I think you’ll find that you can hardly tell when it has stopped.” I think back to earlier when the train stopped and Divus walked onto the train. He was right, it had not been super noticeable. In fact, it was so difficult to tell that I almost didn’t realize anyone got on until he sat next to me.
“Huh, I guess you’re right. I didn’t really notice when the train stopped to let you on. I mean, of course, the sound stopped, but there was enough other white noise from the lights and other cars that it didn’t register.” Though of course now I was far more worried about bothering the Divus Crewel rather than actually being tired. Naturally, I didn’t want to say that out loud though, it might be irritating. He must have noticed somehow though because his next words were:
“Don’t concern yourself with bothering me. I was the one who suggested you rest. You should simply follow my instructions like an obedient pup. I’ll even set an alarm for you if you’re a good boy.” What followed was an amused chuckle as he pulled his phone out of his pocket. I open my mouth to speak but instead let out a sigh and mumble a small thank you and smile before placing my sketchbook on my lap and leaning back in my seat. Divus stifles another laugh but the tapping indicates he really did set a timer for me. It’s strange to be so pampered by a celebrity. Though honestly, I doubt we’ll chat much after this, I didn’t even give him my name.
–
Somehow I manage to fall asleep. I even begin to dream. Once in a while, I have vivid dreams that I recall after waking up. This already felt like one of them because I knew I was dreaming.
“Oh good boy, you’re here on time. I wanted to introduce you to one of my students. I’m sure you’re well aware of who he is so there is no need for me to elaborate.” Divus states with a flourish of his hand gesturing to the Vil Shoenheit.
“Ah, Vil Shoenheit, of course, why wouldn’t it be? It’s a pleasure to meet you, I’m Ren.” I mumble tiredly with a little wave. Vil crosses his arms and places a hand on his chin thoughtfully.
“I see, I can salvage this, no, I will polish it into a diamond.” Vil nods lightly with an expression revealing he is already planning my demise. I mean my prettification.
“Salvage? Polish? Wait- Divus- Sorry Crewel, did you want me to meet him to fix my wardrobe?”
“You catch on quite quickly. But there’s a bit more to it than that. You’ll be working together on a project I have in mind. I expect only the best from you pups.”
“Wait what?” Vil and I ask at the same time. Then the dream just ends.
–
I wake up to the sound of quiet chatter and the alarm.
“Good evening,” I mumble groggily before sitting up. It takes me a moment to realize that sitting up means I either fell over or leaned over in my sleep, “Ah I’m sorry, I usually don’t move much in my sleep so I didn’t expect to fall over or anything.” I mumble apologetically.
“Perhaps you should have laid down from the beginning. You’d be less likely to hit your head that way. But you did sleep, so good boy. We’ll be arriving at the next stop in about half an hour.” Crewel informs me.
“Haha, yeah maybe. Ah, thank you.” I mumble before noticing my sketchbook isn’t in my hands, “Wait where did it go?” I mumble looking around before noticing that Crewel was holding it. I feel my face flush out of embarrassment. I doubt he looked through it, but I can’t help but feel a little bit flustered that he could have.
“I did look through a couple of designs,” Oh no, “They’re quite intriguing. I expect only the best from you during the event.” Oh no he looked through them. But he liked them so that’s good. But also why did he look through them? “I don’t think I caught your name earlier.” He adds with an expectant smile.
“Oh um- I’m Ren. I’m already familiar with you and your designs, it would be more surprising if I wasn’t. I’m glad you have such high expectations for me, it’s quite the compliment. Though I’m not sure I’ll match them. Thank you Crewel.” I say quickly, stumbling over my words a few times and rubbing the back of my neck.
“So that’s how you gathered I would be going to Glamour Isle as well. I’m a little surprised you didn’t ask for my autograph or bombard me with questions considering you ended up in my train car.”
“Wait- your train car?” I mumble before thinking things over, “Oh, OH, that’s why you said no one else would be here, no one else was supposed to be here. I can’t believe I just barged in I’m so sorry, you could have asked me to leave. I didn’t mean to invade your personal space.”
“Calm down little pup. Had I wanted you to leave I would have instructed you to do so. If you weren’t obedient I would have gotten them to take the rabid pup away.” Crewel states a bit amused, gesturing to the other figures in the train car.
“Ah right, they must have been your people then, or otherwise people with the association running the event to ensure your comfort. But I was here for two hours before you. Why didn’t they just ask me to leave then?”
“You’re not exactly intimidating, you’re also a child are you not?”
“Um … I’m not a child, actually I’m 20.”
“You are? Then you’re a bit older than most of my other pups, though your height wouldn’t give that away. You may be even shorter than Riddle. No matter, you weren’t a threat, and it’s clear you’re more interested in work than causing trouble.”
“Still though …” I start before thinking it over. Had they wanted me to leave this car they’d have taken me out. So I guess I had accidentally gotten permission to be here. Additionally, this chance encounter was going to be one of the most memorable meetings, so I’m not really upset about being here.
“Well since you were fine with it, thank you for letting me stay. It’s a lot quieter than the other cars would have been I’m sure.” I mumble with a small smile before opening my phone to review the E-Mail again. The organizers had established a room I would be staying in as well, which was awesome and unlike any other event I had attended.
“Do you know where the Glamrock Hotel is?” Crewel asks before I can look it up.
“Ah, no I’ve never been to Glamour Isle for an event before, so I don’t know where anything is actually,” I admit rubbing my neck again.
“Well as a teacher I suppose I should guide you,” Crewel states a bit amused with the strange logic he’d presented me.
“Uh- well I guess technically that would be accurate. You’re being quite generous. Hm, you said earlier to think about politics, what exactly do you gain from helping me? Not that there has to be an ulterior motive, but I am curious.”
“You catch on quite quickly little pup. Though I’m not asking for anything but your time at this moment. Additionally, If you meet my expectations like a well-trained pup, I’ll be in touch after the event.” Crewel says with an amused grin. I wasn’t sure why he was so amused, but I was certainly pumped to make the most beautiful set of outfits I could muster. The last half an hour felt like it flew by. Somehow I was making small talk with Divus Crewel in what I now knew was technically his private train car with trained mages around us. It was fantastical in nature and my heart was beating like crazy.
After we arrived on the Isle, Crewel accompanied me to the hotel because we were going to stay at the same hotel. It was strange but so cool. Admittedly if he was anyone else I would be wondering if he was trying to groom me, the negative kind, not taking care of myself grooming. But Crewel is well known to be skilled and generous, and his gestures were by no means romantic or sexual in nature, if anything it was like he was going to adopt a new puppy. Also, he had set up a number of events and attended even more as a guest and he did not tolerate nonsense. Had I bothered him, it’s possible I wouldn’t be in Glamour Isle, I’d be home.
Either way, when I made it to my room I smooshed my face into a pillow and let out sounds of pure excitement before pacing around my room and flapping my hands in excitement.
“Aaaahhh, I can’t believe the Divus Crewel spoke to me. This is awesome, I’m so nervous but excited for how this event is going to turn out oh my god.”
Since I slept on the train I wasn’t very tired so I decided to work on my designs a bit more and do some extra research before going to bed. When I did sleep I ended up having the same dream as before. I woke up early and reviewed the E-Mail again to make sure that I was keeping the dates organized in my head.
After taking a shower and changing into something slightly less dad-core, but still technically awful, I hear a knock on my door. I blink a few times before checking the peephole.
“!” I silently scream seeing the Divus Crewel on the other side. I quickly open the door before he knocks again and he grimaces upon seeing me.
“I couldn’t erase your disaster of a wardrobe from my mind, We’re going to fix … this. At least temporarily.” Crewel motions to all of me.
“Oh thanks, I’m so glad you remembered me for dressing like an unfashionable dad. But this is about the best I have in my suitcase. Wait, is this what you meant by asking for my time?” I admitted frowning a bit and looking over my outfit. It really wasn’t that bad, even normal one might say. Despite the dad-core vibes, it was definitely wearable.
“How astute an observation. Grab some of the clothes you aren’t attached to and come along little pup, this is going to be a very busy day.”
He was right of course. As soon as I followed him out of my hotel room I could tell he would be. He listed the plans for the day in order. It was kind of nice to be doted on in a weird sort of way. Though I was confused as to why I had Crewel’s attention at this point. There was no way he would actually keep in contact and introduce me to Vil Shoenheit after the event. It was just a weirdly realistic dream after all. Things are just weirdly lining up like that might be at all possible when I’m sure it is just Crewel being kind. Yes, just kindness.
Following that, our busy day started by heading to breakfast followed by a trip to the hair salon. After my hair was tidied up, though still the same hairstyle, we went to a number of different stores. All of them were sustainable and gave store credit for every item you traded in. Once he’s established the style I was comfortable with we found a few different outfits that looked good scattered throughout various stores. Each of the pieces could be rearranged, but they were notable on their own. Each pairing made a different feeling and it was very clear that some enhanced aesthetic while others undermined it. Some of the dark academia and cottage core pieces did not work well together.
After finding outfits and trading away my old clothes he took me to find accessories. I insisted that I should pay for everything, but he refused and simply stated that I can bring my ideas into reality well to pay him back. I can’t tell if that feels more like a compliment or a threat, but it’s certainly flattering. Somehow we fit all of that in before lunch and there was still more to do. By the end of everything I was exhausted, though extremely grateful.
“I’ll make the best version of my designs possible. That’s what you’re asking for in return right?” I ask on the trip back to the hotel.
“Good boy, you listen well. I’ll see what you can do in two days when it begins.” Crewel responds with a nod and a slight smile.
–
It's time for the event. We have two days to complete four outfits as a complete set using the magic tools and our own abilities to complete them as quickly but skillfully as possible. It's a challenge that many enjoy watching and admire. I’m a little nervous to be on TV, but I think that if I focus solely on my craft I can make it. Especially since I can essentially focus on one and use magic to create another since it's two separate days and I only need four outfits.
Now that I reviewed the game plan it feels less intimidating. The curtain opens to reveal the piles of clothes and materials we have access to before letting up find what we need. A few of the others sort through the pile with magic to locate exactly what they need. I sort through them by hand and feel the fabric textures before taking them back to my station where my assigned tools sit.
At the six-hour mark, we’re given an hour-long lunch and bathroom break. I definitely needed the food since I skipped breakfast. After the break, we get immediately back into work for the remaining six hours of that day. I finish the first piece two hours into the second half and use magic to form most of the second one before detailing it during the four remaining hours. By the time the timer goes off, I have two of the four outfits complete even. Additionally, I still have more fabric that can be used for parts of the first outfit for the next day set up at my station.
The next day I arrive early and notice that something is wrong with the more complicated outfit. Someone had cut it up. It was like a nightmare. It completely ruined my plan to make the clothes as efficiently as possible. Frustrated and upset I wanted to cry, but instead, I decided to improvise and alter the design slightly to include the visualization of the cuts rather than attempt careful and seamless mending. It takes two hours and I lose another hour finding more fabrics. So I decided to reorganize my magic use and create two bases with as much detail as I can manage before reaching my magic limit.
But the half point of the second day I’m exhausted but I manage to gain enough energy to finish and add the final details to the four outfits before the timer runs out. I stumble a bit feeling a bit nauseous now that the magic use and intense focus for twenty-four hours total were exhausting. After the timer goes off I sit down and wait for almost everyone else to leave before one of the people associated with the event walks over to me. I ask them to make sure that no one tampers with my outfits again overnight since someone had cut up mine and perhaps other people’s outfits the night before. They agree to tighten security and make sure that it was impossible for it to happen again. A bit uncertain of how successful they would be I start thinking of ways to justify asking to fix my outfits quickly before the show if I had to.
Using my magic to its fullest two days in a row was really pushing it. If I did so again I might end up sick. I don’t think that over-blots are supposed to make you sick. But it is convenient that I don’t go into a destructive frenzy overtaken by magic when I over-blot at least. I just almost die instead. Which I guess may be technically worse for me, but it is less awful for everyone else.
“Are you alright? I saw how tired you were earlier. I can get someone to help you back to your room, or you could stay in mine since it is on the first floor.” A familiar soft and slightly high-pitched voice asks. Looking at him I see it’s Neige LeBlanche.
“Ah I’m fine, thank you for your concern.” Why were all these celebrities so nice to me? I mean it has only been two so far, but that’s still a lot for me.
“Can I at least escort you to your room? You look a bit unsteady and I don’t want you to fall.” Neige voices his concern with a worried smile.
“There’s no need to go that far. I’m only on the second floor, so I’ll manage.” I say, though admittedly I was less confident about actually getting to the hotel than walking up a set of stairs.
“Then I’ll at least help you get to the hotel.” Neige insists.
“While that’s kind of you Neige, you don’t need to be concerned with them. I was already going to escort this pup back.” Crewel steps in unexpectedly. There’s no way that Crewel just told Neige LeBlanche that we were going to head back to the hotel together. It feels like a dad trying to keep a romantic interest away from his child. Which is funny because if anything he’s like a little brother. Well younger brother, he’s definitely a little taller than me.
“Oh, I didn’t realize you were acquainted with Divus.” Neige comments a little surprised.
“Crewel.” Crewel corrects.
“Crewel. But were you really planning on walking back with him?” Neige asks with doubt lingering over his words.
“Yes, we agreed to meet after the event since we had a chance encounter before this,” I explain, technically not lying, though assuming that since he came to find me he was impressed with my work.
“Oh, if that’s the case then we should meet again at some point too. I really admire your ability to work through challenges. Here, one moment.” Neige takes out his business card and hands it to me, “I hope you rest well tonight. You were Ren, right? I heard your conversation with the security personnel before.” That definitely sounded like an excuse, though I guess it’s possible for Neige to admire me. Just unlikely.
“Ah- yes my name is Ren. Well-”
“Well thank you Neige, but we should probably head back since the reveals and show are tomorrow. We wouldn’t want to be too tired now would we?”
“Ah yes of course. Well, it was a pleasure meeting you Ren, call the number on that card when you get the chance, I’ll see you around!” Neige leaves with his manager and a few guards.
“That was unexpected,” I mumble with a light sigh before remembering who was standing next to me.
“It was. Though I suppose he was right, you don’t look well. Perhaps I should carry you back.” Crewel muses.
“What? No there’s no need to carry me, I’ll be fi-” I begin before nearly falling over after another wave of exhaustion hits me. Crewel catches me.
“You’re small enough it won’t be an issue little pup. Besides which you look like you’re about to fall asleep. It would be unwise to travel on your own feet in that state. Tsk tsk, you really need to learn to take care of yourself.” He states picking me up bridal style.
“I- Thank you.” I conceded. I could tell he was right, I was exhausted. Even still I wanted to protest about how I didn’t want to owe him more, or how I didn’t think it was necessary. Despite those thoughts, my eyes were having trouble even staying open so I just closed them.
–
Before I knew it I was awake in my hotel bed, slightly disheveled and wearing my clothes from the night before.
“Oh. My. God. Did I fall asleep on Crewel again? Well I mean it wasn’t confirmed the first time but aaaahhh.” I immediately panic and place my hands over my face before realizing I need to get ready and look presentable for the showcase. “Ah, I don’t have time to panic,” I mumble before showering, dressing up, and eating an apple that was left on my bedside table with a small note not to skip breakfast in Crewel’s handwriting.
“Geeze, he really is like a dad at this point. It’s not like he adopted me as a pu- child though. It’s weirdly nice how comfortable he is to be around though.” I mumbled looking at the note with a bit of warmth filling my chest. It was nice to feel cared about.
With one big breath, I turn towards the door and head out. Though I had a weird feeling that something went wrong so I hurried to the venue where our outfits should be. I ask if I can check over my outfits quickly because they had been sabotaged before. Luckily I was let in since my outfits were all damaged in some way. It was devastating, and there wasn’t any fabric to fix them. Except for what I was wearing.
“I could use my coat and undershirt and still look mostly presentable while fixing them,” I mumble quietly, my voice shaking more than I wanted it to. Despite still feeling drained, I used my magic again, allowing it to flow through my fingertips to mend the fabric to the shape I desired it to with the fabric I was using in hand. It was a different colour, but the colour matched well enough that it looked intentional. Reaching the fourth outfit I could feel the strength in my legs waning, but I had to fix it.
Even if Crewel was already impressed, I wanted to fix this. To not let the stranger tampering with my work win. I needed to make them feel their efforts were wasted, that after everything I was fine. As my hands glided over the last portion that needed to be fixed a few people started coming in to check their outfits as well. Only mine had been tampered with. I felt my hands shaking as they let go of the now-mended fabric.
“Tsk tsk. What did I say regarding work and rest? Bad boy. You should ask for help if you’re in trouble.” Crewel scolds me before complimenting my handi-work, “It is well done, it looks intentional even. However, I can not condone overworking yourself because of the security’s lack of competence.”
“Haha, I remember. But I didn’t want to let whoever did this feel as if they’d won. I can’t let them feel like they’ve won. I don’t even know why they could be so upset with me.” Unless it is one of my old friends. They seemed to think the worst of me. But they wouldn’t do anything this devastating, would they? Well, Rachel might, but shockingly I didn’t see her here. I would have noticed someone I actively avoid.
“Hm, well your determination is a valuable asset. I suppose it’s a good thing I’m also a potions master. This will sustain you for the duration of the showcase, however, you must rest for the next couple of days.” Crewel states handing me a potion he had on hand, “Sigh. I can’t believe you used some of your only decent clothes because of this. I’ll have to start from square one training this pup. Don’t make this a habit.”
“Wait training?” I ask after downing the potion in one gulp.
“Yes, I’ll be taking you under my wing little pup. As you may have surmised you have impressed me. Though this still needs fixing.” Crewel again motioned to all of me. Suddenly I was reminded of my dream from the past few nights.
“Hey, this may sound weird. But by any chance is Vil Shoenheit also one of your pupils who happens to be the one who may or may not be responsible for fixing my self-care habits and everyday wear?” I ask before the potion fully kicks in.
“Oh? So the little pup is already aware. He must have spoiled the surprise, I’ll have to punish him later.”
“Ah, no, I’ve just had this weird recurring dream about meeting Vil Shoenheit under your tutelage. I wasn’t going to ask initially, I guess being tired made me voice my thoughts. But I haven’t actually met Vil yet.” I explain quickly. Crewel furrows his brows for a moment before an expression of realization covers the confusion.
“Ah, so you’re good at pattern recognition. It’s not uncommon knowledge that Vil is one of my pupils, and you took note of the fact I was treating you well. You’ll be an excellent student. If you pick up on things this quickly anyways. I expect only good things from you.” Crewel states with an almost proud smile before motioning me to come with him to his waiting room where a screen displaying the showcase was attached to the wall.
He discusses specifics with me while we wait for the showcase to reach the point where we all enter the stage and talk about our work and inspirations. Excluding Vil, Neige, and Crewel, the rest of us attending the event are lined up in order to head out second. The three notable guests head out to speak first.
“Sustainability in fashion is one of the greatest difficulties of this industry. But with the systems set up here in Glamour Isle, fashion waste is dwindling away and instead becoming fashion fuel. Isn’t that just incredible? Imagine all of the incredible things you can curate with such an array of fabrics, Imagine how much you can do exchanging materials and creating your personalized unique looks!” Neige starts, excitedly chattering about the benefits of sustainable fashion. Crewel and Vil both elaborate on this to varying degrees before everyone else is brought out and stood next to the models wearing their outfits.
I don’t notice the concerned look that Neige gives me. But I notice the fury of a familiar contestant near me. It was Dev-Ay. One of my ex-friends that happens to despise me. It shouldn’t be surprising that they’re here, they’ve always been skilled. But it does sting to think that they might have been so certain I was worth tormenting that they cut up my outfits. It also tells me that I probably didn’t notice people as much as I thought I would.
“I agree that sustainability and curating styles in this way are essential to bettering our society. It’s one of the reasons I was so excited to be a part of this project. Despite the unlikely mishaps, I had a blast creating designs influenced by the types of sustainable fabrics already being developed. It’s fascinating how through the use of orange peels or kelp beautiful sustainable fabrics can be created. My theme was Future Fantasy. Playing off of the alliteration of the event title, I wanted to curate looks that inspired the fantastical embrace of the future and the stories that such a future can hold. Imagine a sustainable world with glorious personalized fashion made for you. Fashion that makes you feel good and can aptly aid in your self-expression.” I begin as coherently as I can manage. Somehow my voice remains steady. Perhaps it is the desire to show Dev-Ay I am unaffected, or perhaps it was because I wanted to impress Crewel. But either way, I seemed to speak with a charisma I didn’t think I had.
There was a prolonged moment of silence after I finished speaking before finally the live audience began to clap following Crewel’s and Neige’s examples. Their applause felt louder than any I had heard for me before and more impactful as it addressed my creations, it validated my ideas not some lame school speech. It was unexpected. Especially since afterward, the applause was noticeably quieter for the now flustered and disorganized Dev-Ay.
After the showcase, I felt my energy start to deplete rapidly. I figured that the potion was starting to wear off. Hopefully, I wouldn’t fall in front of Dev-Ay, I don’t want to give him fuel to berate me. While everyone else was chatting as the audience left and the models change, Dev-Ay approached me.
“Why? Why is it that you of all people did so well? Why couldn’t you just fold as you used to? Are you so proud now? Are you so proud after falsely accusing the one person that I love? You’ll never be anything but a pathetic liar who tears down other people. Are you upset because at least she liked being a girl? Were you mad that you couldn’t escape something that she accepted? Fuck you, fuck your whole fake-ass messaging. I despise you. I wish you would take a dive off the roof like you so badly wanted to before we were friends.” It took me a while to find the words I wanted to say. I didn’t know exactly what to say honestly. If he blamed me, then was there any way he would listen to me? Would he believe I was making excuses simply because I wanted to look good? Did he really want me to die because of this? Regardless I found my mouth moving before I could stop it.
“I don’t understand what my gender identity has to do with my distaste for Rachel. I was never upset at Rachel because she was cisgender. I think you of all people should understand that. Why are you so convinced that I lied to you? Do you love her so much you couldn’t see what she did to me? Has she never crossed your boundaries as she did to me? Or did you believe I actually withheld the information she conveniently forgot? That she claimed she forgot. I could be wrong. There is always the chance I misread her, but she hurt me and crossed my boundaries. I won’t go into the specifics again because you stopped listening to me years ago. But there’s no reason you should be this upset with me. The only way I hurt her was by telling her exactly what she had done and telling her that I couldn’t stay friends with her. I wasn’t wrong for standing up for myself like you never did for me. Your ability to trust seems like a blessing, but it may be a curse.” I respond with quiet, seething frustration, trying to remain as calm as possible but inevitably speaking poisonously. Before I know it I’m on the ground with blood pouring from my nose and a sore jaw. It takes me a moment to register what just happened. I try to get back up to my feet, but I can’t even move my legs to stand.
“Ren!” Neige called out with concern causing all eyes to turn toward Dev-Ay, Neige, and me. I bite my lip before trying desperately to tell my legs to move, but they simply shake beneath me on the floor as if they’re too scared to move. Too afraid that maybe they’re going to be hit next rather than my face.
“Dev-Ay. I was sincere when I told you I enjoyed being your friend and I was grateful for everything you had done for me.” I start, looking up at Dev-Ay who is clenching his hands into fists, “I don’t regret being friends with you, or stopping our friendship. I know that it was the right thing for me to do. I understand your anger. No, I understand that you are angry because you believe something I can not possibly fathom. But I never hated you. All I ask is that you let what happened to us remain in the past, it doesn’t benefit anyone to retain anger built on, at best, miscommunication.” I manage to say, smiling at Dev-Ay knowing it would make him angrier. Before he can respond Crewel and a few security officers walk over. The officers detain Dev-Ay who screams about how vile I truly am.
“That looks really bad Ren. Oh no, let me get some help.” Neige states with worry.
“I’ll take them to the nearest medic. You should calm the onlookers down.” Crewel states before picking me up again.
“Hah, I feel like a kid who got in a fight, and their overprotective dad came to pick them up,” I mumble in my exhausted delirium. The pain wasn’t even present anymore, I was just tired and numb.
“Haha, well I’ve taken a liking to you. Though next time someone punches you, bite back. Especially if it’s going to impact your precious face. You certainly have the charisma to back it up.”
“Aw, dad called me precious hehe. Thank you, you’ve really pampered me like a lil’ puppy while I was here. I feel weirdly comfortable with you. Man, I don’t want to fall asleep for a third time on you. It’s rude to use a celebrity like a pillow. And I’m not that charismatic, I’m just a bit silly.” I mumble with a yawn.
“You can fall asleep. You need it, and that potion, while good for a short time, does make you even more tired than before you use it. You did well, little pup. Though we have some training to do so you can do better in the future.”
“… Thank you,” I mumble quietly, avoiding leaning on Crewel with my bloody face as much as possible. I suppose he didn’t want the incompetent security to carry me this time, though I don’t know why he was compelled to carry me before. He really is like a father figure. I wish that I’d met him sooner. Maybe I wouldn’t have run into Rachel then. But I guess if I met him earlier I may have just been another kid, not someone of note.
The rest of the trip to a medic is in silence. When we get there the lady is nice and heals me with the stipulation that I rest for a solid two days to regain my energy. She asks if I have a guardian, to which I say of course, and that I will be fine under their care. Though how much of that will be true when I go back home is left to be decided.
I don’t stay awake for too much longer, though I do hear a vague murmur of Crewel’s voice and phone chatter before I drift off to sleep.
–
“Oh wow! This is amazing. Ren, you have to work with me on the next partner event that comes up. I would love to work with you!” Neige states as the dream fades into view.
“Thank you. I’m quite flattered. Your designs are excellent as well.” I comment with a small smile before explaining that while it would be nice to work together I had already promised to work with someone else for the next event. Before I hear Neige’s reaction the dream shifts suddenly and I am in a cage.
“I still love you you know. I was really hurt that you lied to Dev-Ya like that my sweet, adorable, Renny bird.” Rachel states with a certain sadness before reaching into the birdcage and caressing my face with her cold bony hands.
“Why am I here?” I ask shakily before coughing a bit. My throat feels dry and my body feels cold.
“Oh Renny, you know I can’t have you run away again. You’ll spread more lies and hurt more people. Unless I help you. Let me help you, I know I can fix you. Piece together the shattered pieces of you. Come here, I’ll give you a hug, just like before. We can make everything okay again.” Rachel says, her sickly sweet voice bouncing between the bars of the birdcage. I can’t say anything, I just stare at her as her arms elongate and weave through the bars to reach me. To touch me. To keep me trapped in this birdcage.
–
I wake up with a start and sit up quickly before someone pushes me back into bed.
“What happened to you? Did you trip over the stairs? I warned you those long pants would make you fall dummy.” My sister Vera comments before sitting back down next to me, “Seriously though I was worried when I got a call to home about you being sick again. Did you overuse your magic?”
“Like you’re any better. Who are you to ask if I tripped on the stairs, didn’t you fall up a ramp that one time?”
“Oh shush you. You didn’t answer my question. What happened?”
“Dev-Ya punched me. I don’t know if he tried to sabotage my outfits yet, but I strongly suspect he was related to that too. Sorry I didn’t tell you about getting into the fashion thing. You weren’t home for a while anyways right?” I justify just recalling the fact I was planning on messaging her before and just didn’t.
“Ren, I wasn’t home sure, but you still should have told me! I would have come to see your work if it lined up with my work schedule.”
“Oh Vera, you’ll never guess who I met.”
“Oh really? Try me.”
“I met Divus Crewel.”
“Yeah I know that much, he was the one who called me. Imagine my surprise when the Divus Crewel was calling about my older sibling needing someone to drive them home. Bro, he asked if I was your older sister, how goofy were you to warrant that question?”
“Bro- It’s not my fault though. I just accidentally didn’t realize I got on the wrong train car and dressed enough like a hobo that he assumed I was a child.”
“Bro.”
“I know bro.”
“Going back a bit, I thought Dev-ya cut contact with you after that gross nasty did the bad thing I shall not name.”
“Oh yes, thank you for not naming the bad thing. But yeah, I thought nothing would come of it, but apparently, he was really mad at me. I wonder if Rachel encouraged this. I don’t think he would have acted as extreme otherwise.”
“I mean yeah maybe. But he was always kind of ick though.”
“I know, you were right. You’re always right when it comes to people.”
“Damn right I am.”
“Hey Vera, can you hand me my phone?”
“No, I can’t.” They say handing me the phone anyways. I smile at them lightly and open up my phone to check a few things. Firstly, if I had been contacted by Crewel since apparently he had found out my sibling’s number he may have found my contacts. Specifically “home” or otherwise Vera called my phone, but I couldn’t pick up because I was deliriously exhausted.
“Oh right, I was supposed to tell the Crewel you woke up. He acts more like your dad than our actual dad did haha.”
“Yeah, right? I was thinking the same thing. If he was still alive I wonder if that would have changed at all. I mean, it was really mom who was the worse parent, at least dad had an excuse.”
“I guess. But whatever, not the time. Time to message your ‘new dad’ since you seemed to have picked one up out of nowhere. You better not abandon me for another family.” Vera states rolling her eyes.
“Thanks, dad, and of course I won’t, you’re the only blood-related family I want to stay in contact with at the moment,” I say playfully rolling my eyes back at her.
Vera messages Crewel and much more quickly than I had anticipated he is in the room with us. We talked about a few things. Who Dev-Ya was, why he was so upset, what relation it had to my outfits, and why I lied about having a parental figure at home.
“Come to think of it. You’re a celebrity designer, you’re quite busy. Why did you come here directly to talk to us?” Vera asks.
“Well, while Ren is a student of mine, I was thinking that I could provide you with a better job as well and a place much closer to my design studio. If you’re all the other has, it would be rather cruel for me to separate you for a lengthy period of time. Despite how my name sounds, I’m not unreasonable.”
“Okay dad, sure thing. You’ve been really soft with me though. I don’t see how you would be. You just have high expectations right?”
“Say what you will little pup. I’m sure you’ll find I’m not as lenient as you seem to think I am. Also, Ren. How is it that your sister dresses so fashionably and you dressed as you called it in ‘an unfashionable dad aesthetic’?” Crewel asks, raising a brow.
“I uh, make their clothes and they take care of their skin better than I do,” I mumble slowly looking away from Crewel.
“I told them I don’t need to look nice either, but they insist that I should wear nicer clothes. I’m not a seamstress like them, I’m a watercolour painter. So I can’t just make them nice clothes to wear as they do for me.”
“But you look so pretty though, you definitely deserve all the nice things.”
“No, I don’t, you do.”
“No, I refuse, you do.”
“It looks like two little pups in need of some retraining.” Crewel breaks up what was about to become a battle of the no-yous, “Anyways, after Ren fully recovers, I’ll take you to your new home and explain the job I have for you in greater detail. That should be suitable for you I presume?”
“Excuse me, but why would you help us? Did you just adopt my sibling and say I could tag along?” Vera asks a little skeptical about this sudden favor toward us.
“I mean it’s not like he doesn’t gain anything. We’re both skilled artists who could contribute to his business and we’re in a position where it would be best if we joined him to gain the benefits we would from this.”
“Okay, I get that, but I still don’t understand why us.”
“While I don’t need a reason and this little gremlin child would technically owe me under other circumstances, I have my personal reasons for this predicament. Also, I am deeply concerned by the fact you trusted me so quickly. I will tell you the rest eventually, but for the moment I’m sure good pups won’t question me further.”
“Oh, you’ve yet to see gremlin Ren my newly adopted father figure. Now that I’ve fallen asleep near you like three times, I think it’s safe to say you’ll see weirdness soon. You don’t seem like a bad person though? I mean, you’ve had plenty of chances to make my life significantly worse, but you didn’t.” I laugh a bit. Vera raises a brow at me like they were saying, ‘Do you have no sense of danger child?’
“Gremlin Ren? Like when you said ‘Aw, dad called me precious’? I suppose you may simply be a good judge of character, though I’d still be more careful.”
“Hebba debba ha- Shoosh, we don’t talk about deliriously tired Ren, and sure, I could be more careful I guess,” I respond quickly, waving my arms vaguely in his direction.
“Bro.” Vera vocalizes her surprise, crossing her arms and shaking her head.
“Since we haven’t yet, Ren, let us exchange numbers so that I can contact both of you if need be. I’d rather not call your sister every time.”
“Oh alright, yeah that’d be good, we won’t always be together, so that wouldn’t have worked out every time anyways,” I respond before remembering I had Neige’s number somewhere too. I completely forgot to mention him to Vera before, oh well I can bring him up later. For some reason, I don’t feel like I should mention him in front of Dadus Crewel.
We exchange numbers and chat a bit about my health, fashion, and my sibling’s art. Vera ends up being quite flustered but flattered by the compliments she receives. It’s quite cute actually. Eventually, Crewel leaves and I’m left to rest with Vera making sure that I don’t skip any meals. She knows that I won’t eat if I don’t feel like getting up.
There was a lot to think about laying down. What was going to happen with Dev-Ya and Rachel? Would I have to tell Crewel about Rachel? How was it going to be learning under Crewel? Would Vera finally meet her Idol since we were going to be in the fashion industry? What did the dream with Neige and Rachel mean?
I could probably figure out a couple of them. My dreams tend to be tied to reality, though upsetting things always end up more abstracted or represented by different characters. The thing with Neige may actually happen, or something similar will occur if I don’t spoil the surprise again. The more abstract representation of Rachel means I might meet her again. There’s no way that I would actually be trapped in a birdcage right? That seems quite unlikely despite how unhinged Rachel can be. I’ll probably have to tell Crewel about Rachel if I notice anything off like with the outfits. Though given his resources I may not be the first one of us to bring it up. Maybe I’ll wait until he asks me about it.
Two days pass slowly with the occasional conversation with my sister and her excitement about having a potentially less dull job soon. We vaguely touch on the fact she might meet her idol and then she wonders if she’ll have to hide her fanart of him before remembering that the only art she gets is of fictional characters so it's fine. Besides which there’s no way that Epel Felmier would ever see her room anyways right? By the end of the second day, I feel energized enough to start packing things up. Though I take care to pack my clothes separately from everything else just in case they’ll be confiscated for use as scrap materials. Not that they would, but considering Crewel’s judgemental glances, I have a feeling it isn’t an unreasonable concern.
Vera convinces me to call Crewel this time since she had to do so last time and he arrives equally as quickly as before with a few people to help us pack up. He motions for us to follow him while the movers grab all of our stuff in storage containers of various sizes and random boxes. On the way, Crewel discusses Vera’s position on the creative team designated to Epel and she literally gasps.
That evening when Crewel isn’t within earshot Vera tells me they hope he doesn’t notice them because they would never be able to talk to him well and might even accidentally refer to him as “baby girl” which they know he doesn’t like.
Unexpectedly our conversation takes a pause when I receive a message from Dev-Ya. He had been the one to block me initially, so I couldn’t imagine anything good would come out of whatever message he sent me. Especially since the last time we spoke, he punched my face. I didn’t open the message, but I read the first bit of it that was displayed on my phone screen from the notification.
[I want to meet up to apologize to you properly.] It began. I had a feeling that he didn’t actually want to apologize. Though I could be wrong, it doesn’t feel like something he would do.
“What’cha lookin’ at?” Vera asks, breaking the silence.
“An unexpected message.” I say vaguely frowning at my phone before shutting it off entirely for the moment, “I don’t really want to look at it though.”
“Oh, did Elliot message you again?”
“Not this time, no. Also, I blocked Elliot, I won’t be receiving his messages unless he does something to get around being blocked.”
“You seem to have a lot of enemies,” Crewel adds walking into the room with a pointer that has two collars attached to the other end of it. He was usually depicted with it, so it’s weird he didn’t have it at the event.
“Well, when you’re a doormat you tend to attract people who want to use you. Not that I am as much anymore, but it does sometimes feel like it would be easier to be one again.”
“That’s why I told you not to deal with them in the first place dummy,” Vera mutters.
“Are you sure you’re not the older sibling Vera?”
“Oh come on. Besides Vera is taller than me which automatically makes her the younger sibling.” I say playfully gesturing dramatically to Vera.
“That was because you were malnourished, you’re taller than me now,” Vera comments in turn with a small frown.
“Well I was going to get right to business, but I have a feeling we should discuss what happened with Dev-Ya on Glamour Isle.”
“I would be totally cool with skipping over that for now. Business stuff ooh.” I point finger guns in Crewel’s general direction.
“Oh wait, was that who messaged you?” Vera cuts in.
“What lead you to that conclusion? But yes, Dev-Ya texted me.” I sigh lightly rubbing the back of my neck anxiously.
“Well, that is concerning. What did he say?” Crewel asks, looking at me pointedly.
“I didn’t want it to pop up read so I only looked at the part that popped up in the notification. I don’t know what the rest says, but apparently, he wants to apologize. I doubt he means to apologize given how volatile our last meeting was.” I explain tiredly, rubbing my eyes and sighing.
“Bro block him. Gross. I bet Rachel told him to apologize so she can try to get back on your good side after ‘that’.”
“I figured much the same … I guess I should tell you who Rachel is now that we’re staying in your care huh? You certainly picked a puppy with a lot of problems.” I say with a small laugh before taking a deep breath and thinking about how to start.
“You are by no means obligated to give me your life story simply because I’ve brought you here. Though it would be helpful to identify people to avoid or deal with later.” Crewel responds, mumbling the last part and hitting his pointer against his hand.
“I didn’t catch that last bit, but I still feel like I should anyways. I won’t go into specifics, but essentially I was in a relationship where I would give as much as I could to make Rachel happy, but she never listened to me or returned the affection I gave. It got particularly bad at one point, but I won’t get into that. It messed with a lot of my friendships though since that became my standard. Elliot, who was mentioned earlier, is similar, but worse in some ways. I’m lucky I found out who he was before I met him in person though.” I explain vaguely, pausing a few times, wondering if I should be telling Crewel all of this. He practically adopted us, I’m not even sure how things worked out this well, but I couldn’t help but feel like as soon as he knew more he was going to throw me away.
“It looks like you were surrounded by some pathetic mutts. I’ll make sure they don’t show up around you. For now, you should probably block any of them you’ve yet to and stay focused on something that won’t keep your anxiety up. I’m sure that all deeply impacted you. No one goes through upsetting events unscathed. I don’t really do hugs, but you two can speak to me about anything that is troubling you. It’s one of the responsibilities I signed up for taking you in as my students. A teacher's job is to make sure his students thrive in the learning environment.”
“You’re definitely acting like a dad now. You don’t do hugs? What's with carrying me to a medic instead of letting someone else do it?”
“I’m not sure actually.”
“Oh? You’re not sure? Sounds likely fatherly instincts ooh.”
“…” Crewel doesn’t reply, he simply places a hand to his chin thoughtfully, placing the hand with the pointer in it against his elbow.
“Hey, Ren you should block those nasties.” Vera points out before I can react to Crewel’s silence. I had already forgotten that blocking people was mentioned so my mouth forms an ‘oh yeah’ before I turn my phone back on. It flashes on a full brightness before returning to the lowest setting where I usually have it.
“Ow, my eyes,” I grumble before going through and blocking the numbers I had yet to block. It was Dev-Ya’s and some guy named Teiran I didn’t remember but had a negative feeling about for some reason. Rachel and Elliot were already blocked before so I didn’t have to worry about them for now.
“You came in here to talk business initially right? Let’s do that.” Vera states, taking a lead in the conversation. Probably in hopes that Crewel would leave as soon as he said what he planned to.
“Right, business. First of all, excuse me for barging in earlier. I can assure you this will not become a habit. I live separately from you and I’ll make sure to inform you if I need to speak with you both prior to my visits unless it's an emergency of course. Onto business, there is a large event surrounding new fashion coming up in six months, the Summer Unlimited Fibers Fresh and Economic Revolution annual event. You’ll be put into teams of at least three. Though these teams can be sorted out beforehand which is what we’re going to do. As you may have already guessed, I plan to assign you two to a team with Vil Shoenheit and Epel Felmier. Until then, however, we need to increase your prestige and credibility.”
“I’m mildly concerned by the fact it spells the out ‘suffer’ as the acronym, but I digress. So you mean you’ll be making sure we get into events to showcase our abilities? If this goes well, we’ll be working on one of the biggest events in the fashion world with some of the most well know fashion-related celebrities. But if you have other pupils, then why did you select us?”
“Oh, I suppose I should have specified. I’m also a teacher at Night Raven College. The students there are probably who you mean by my ‘other pupils’. As for why I chose you two, there are a few reasons. Most obviously, it brings diversity to the group. A non-binary gremlin with dark-academia vibes and a lady steeped in Ouji fashion pair well with the adorable Epel and glamorous monarch-esque Vil. It’s like a set of fantasy villains. Quite an eye-catching arrangement no? Additionally, you already work well together, I’m afraid some of my other students are too much like divas to work well as a group. Individually they all have strengths, but until they mesh, they’re like oil and water. While you have yet to work with Epel and Vil, you will be more willing to compromise with them when necessary.”
“Oh, I guess that makes sense. Diversity is an important note for intrigue. However, I’m under the impression that this is in part because of Neige’s potential group. Either they’re also trying to be diverse, or that group is going to essentially be a boy band right?”
“Correct. Given the previous year, it’s likely that Neige’s group is going to be more diverse. There was a lot of discourse surrounding some of the former members, though somehow that discourse gave Neige a popularity boost.” Crewel states, his voice dripping with annoyance.
“Right, weren’t Neige and Vil placed on the same team as two newbies who ended up being a mess all things considered?”
“Unfortunately.”
“So you don’t want the hosts to make Neige and Vil part of the same team again? But you don’t have much time to locate some new talents, and those you could reach out to would make things more difficult.”
“Essentially.”
“Considering that you came here almost immediately. You have something in mind to get us started right?”
“Very good. Yes, I have a few events lined up for you. I’ll handle getting you in, you are going to need to focus on curating new designs. I have more for you after this event, so don’t burn yourself out like last time. Since security was so lax at the last location, I can promise you I’ll ensure more reliable security this time.”
“Can you tell us the specifics like dates and themes?”
“I’ll go over it with you another day, but for now I’ll be E-Mailing you all of the relevant information. Though I’ll need to give you your company E-Mails and their passwords before you can use them.”
“Company E-Mails? Wow- that’s fancy.”
“Oh, we had those at my previous job.” Vera mumbles.
“Good, then you should be familiar with professional E-Mail etiquette.”
“E-Mails have etiquette?”
“…” Vera and Crewel look at each other, perhaps wondering how I had made it this far without knowing that there was such a thing as E-Mail etiquette. Crewel ends up discussing specifics with us anyways before handing us our company E-Mail information. After he leaves Vera and I unpack a few more things while bouncing ideas off of each other for the first event.
We head to bed soon after and both wake up early. Getting used to a new space was going to take a little bit. Everything was so much cleaner than it ever had been. There’s only so much progress we were able to make at the old house with my studies and Vera’s work. Regardless, we had things to do and not much time to dilly-dally about new surroundings.
The next few days raced by and before we knew it we were presenting in front of a crowd. Though this one was notably smaller than the one from the Flash Forward Frenzy. Unexpectedly, Neige was one of the guest judges alongside Vil. After the show is over Neige approaches us.
“I didn’t expect to see you here! Wow, your designs are still so impressive. Oh, a pleasure to meet you, Vera, I’m Neige LeBlanche!” Neige starts excitedly grasping my hands, acknowledging my sister after a moment's pause.
“It’s nice to meet you too. I’m Vera, Ren’s sister.” Vera introduces, looking at Neige’s hands and then back to me with a raised eyebrow.
“Hello again! Also, I’m sorry, I completely misplaced your business card, so I wasn’t able to add your number to my contacts after everything.” I apologize, wondering if he was under the impression that I just didn’t like him.
“Oh no, well I suppose it’s not unexpected. You were in really bad shape after the Frenzy. I’m surprised you were on your feet this quickly. Hmm, why don’t I just add my number to your phone this time? There’s no way you’ll lose it that way!” He states with a wide smile befitting a prince.
“Sure! That would probably be better.” I reply before pulling out my phone. Vera blinks at me, ‘Seriously? You know that Vil and Neige are rivals, you really want to die on the hill of befriending everyone until you get hurt?’ I hand Neige my phone and he quickly types in his number. I stifle a laugh when I see that he’s oh-so graciously nicknamed himself for future reference.
“Do people call you Neggy?” I ask curiously, looking at the little heart emote he’d added at the end too. I mean it was distinct, I’d give him that, but it felt a little unnecessary.
“Only friends do. I’d like to think we’ll be friends though so you can call me Neggy too!” Neige explains still just as bubbly and excited as before.
“Okay, but I’ll still refer to you as Neige in public.” I smile a bit. He was cute if nothing else. It was like finding a little brother. Though Vera would always be my favorite sibling. Before I can give Neige my number in turn Vil joins us.
“Hello, Neige. Sorry to cut your conversation short, but these two have a prior engagement.” Vil states with a practiced smile, elegantly placing a hand on his chin. I wonder how much of the conversation he heard when walking over. Regardless Vera’s assessment that being friendly toward Neige would give me problems was probably going to be a little too accurate. Vil was already displeased, I couldn’t imagine that our trip to the meeting room with Crewel and Epel was going to be comfortable.
“Yes, unfortunately, we do have something else to tend to. I’m sure we’ll meet again given the industry. Let’s head out.” I add, looking at Vera who rolls her eyes at me and also confirms that we should leave.
“Ah, goodbye Ren. I hope we have a chance to talk more next time. Safe travels!” Neige says before saying farewell to Vera and Vil collectively. We walk in silence until we reach our transportation. After the door shuts Vil starts to speak.
“So you’re friendly with Neige LeBlanche?” He asks with a smile that conveyed his displeasure.
“Well, I don’t have a negative opinion of him as of the moment. But we’ve only spoken a few times so it’s difficult to say if I’d ever give him preference. Though to be frank, my main concern is being polite since unlike you, my clout isn’t very good.” I explain. It was true that I was fairly neutral towards Neige, he may be cute, but he’s not very memorable for anything but that. Given the choice, I’d rather be friends with Vil since that would make things less complicated and Vil is also more interesting. The media is divided on how to depict Vil as his fashion sense and acting career have cast him as a villain. Do they show him as tragic, cruel, or even secretly good?
“I see. I suppose that makes sense. Though I will remind you to avoid being too friendly with him. Even if you’re just being polite others will take your politeness as affection and twist your image.” Vil explains, a bit softer and less peeved than earlier. Was he worried about me?
“I have to agree with Vil. Ren, you’re too careless with people.” Vera adds quietly, glancing at Vil before looking at me, “You shouldn’t have let Neige grab your hands either, what if there were paparazzi? Neige has the barrier of being the highest-ranking celebrity, you’re not safe from being slandered and defamed.” Vera adds with concern, her voice shaking.
“Vera- I know. I’m sorry. I’ll be more careful. Unfortunately, I have a feeling that the media is going to depict me as a playboy at this point. I mean, there’s no way that there aren’t pictures of Crewel carrying me circulating at the moment. With that, if there also end up being pictures of Neige holding my hands then I’ll be in trouble.” I apologize, sorting out my thoughts and realizing all at once just the predicament I had been put in.
“Usually Crewel is so careful about his image. But I suppose he has always had a soft spot for his students. Though he would never admit that.” Vil muses, “If you understand all of that, why aren’t you more guarded?” Vil adds with added annoyance.
“I- don’t have anything to say for myself. It’s just stupid.” I state looking down at my feet.
“We’ll discuss this with Crewel later. Vera, you weren’t at the Frenzy so I didn’t get to see your abilities in action before. I’m excited to see what you’ll do in the future. You seem quite promising, and perhaps wise.” Vil compliments Vera who smiles a bit before thanking Vil for his compliments. Eventually, it reaches the topic of understanding why Crewel said he’d need to fix my wardrobe.
“We already have plans to curate your wardrobe, unfortunately, there simply wasn’t time before this event, so you had to wear the ones from Glamour Isle. But no more. I shall make you shine like a diamond. And perhaps blind Neige.”
“What is it with people mumbling the last part of their sentences? I’m grateful for your time and efforts in this. I’ll try not to undermine your expectations.”
Eventually, we make our way to the meeting room where a few unfamiliar faces sit with Crewel and Epel. Most of them are dressed in business attire with some notes, but one of them looks completely different from the rest. Dressed in a dark feathered cloak with a crow mask and cane, the fae lounges at the head of the table. This also implies that he has a higher position than Crewel. Who is this guy?
“Ah! You’re all here. Yes, it is I. Crowley your beloved CEO and headmaster at NRC.” Yeah, I still have no idea who Crowley is.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Crowley,” I say with a polite smile.
“Yes, it’s lovely to meet you, Mr. Crowley,” Vera says in turn.
“It’s a pleasant surprise to see you attend the meeting CEO,” Vil states with an elegant practiced smile.
“There is no need to be so formal with me! Just call me Crowley. After all, you all are important assets to our company.” Crowley states in a sing-song tone, “Oh right, feel free to sit anywhere, there’s no need to stand so stiffly.” He adds with the motion of his hand.
“Thank you, sir,” I say before sitting one seat away from Crewel so that Vera can be seated beside two people she knows. Vil sits beside Epel on the other side of the table and introductions of everyone at the table begin. The table consists of Crowley, Crewel, Epel, Vera, Vil, Trein, Vanrouge, and I. The meeting covers schedules, the clean up for Crewel’s sudden dadittude, and current media standings. Admittedly during the more budget-oriented pieces of the conversation, I was completely lost.
After the meeting ends Crowley leaves immediately followed by Vanrouge. Epel and Vil head out after speaking briefly to Crewel. Vera and I decide to follow Vil out for the moment. We weren’t stopped so we left the room. Vil notices us and motions for us to walk a bit closer to the two of them. I can almost hear Vera internally screaming being so close to Epel.
“We have more to discuss outside of the meeting since they didn’t cover everything. You’re probably wondering who Lillia Vanrouge and Mozus Trein are. They’re investors in the company that happen to be on good terms with most of us. Since they have such a big say in our company, they tend to appear in official meetings discussing budgets and plans for the company's future.”
“You realize that Crewel probably would have explained all of that to them right?”
“Yes, but the conversations between Trein and Crewel tend to be lengthy. We have to wait anyways, it makes for better discussion if the other parties aren’t preoccupied with something else.” Vil says motioning for everyone to sit down in what is probably a waiting room or lounge of some sort.
“Eh- Yeah okay. Ahem. Hello again, I’m Epel. It’s nice to meet you both.” Epel says with a sparkly smile.
“Wow, I didn’t realize that people could literally sparkle,” I mumble thoughtlessly. Vera covers my mouth before I finish.
“The pleasure is all mine,” Vera states simply, smiling politely but definitely freaking out internally. After a bit, she uncovers my mouth and I am free to speak again.
“I guess we’ll be seeing each other a lot more frequently right? So wouldn’t it be a good idea to figure out some baseline things to avoid doing? For example, eating sounds really bother me. If I dine with others, it is usually in a noisy place so I’m less overwhelmed by the eating noises but rather the environment.”
“Ah, I suppose you’re right. Then I’ll state the obvious. Be more careful about your image and who you associate with. Additionally, do not needless contact Neige LeBlanche as that too could become problematic.”
“Ah, I get it, if anyone sees either party text the other, a deeper relationship will be assumed because it makes for a better story and more interesting gossip.”
“Exactly. I suppose that means you had no intentions of actually contacting him then?”
“Well, I was undecided initially, which is why I even mentioned the number again in the first place, but given this, it’s better to avoid contacting him. He’s been at the center of enough drama where everyone else ended up looking bad that I don’t really want to chance an ‘Oops, I didn’t realize they could see my screen lol’ moment.”
“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses.”
“I suppose if it's just us, avoid calling me cute or referring to me too fondly. I’d rather not be bombarded with those things outside of work too.” Epel adds, still sounding soft and polite.
“Ah, alright. If I had to add something, it would probably be along the lines of wariness around group chats or anything. I’ve had a friend or two in ‘secret’ group chats that were too careless about ensuring the excluded parties weren’t aware they were excluded.” Vera mentions with a brief explanation.
Before we could continue the conversation an announcement was made over the loudspeakers to find a place to hide while a situation was being dealt with.
“Well, that is concerning,” I mumble.
“What in tarnation? Concerning? That’s downright mortifying. What could possibly be happening?” Epel replies with a panicked expression.
“Let’s go into the nearest room. Now.” Vil states staying composed and ushering us all into a room that has a door that locks.
“It’s our first day here and something went wrong,” Vera mumbles, leaning on me and clutching their arms tightly.
“I’m not sure what’s happening, but it will be alright, we’ll just stay quiet. I’m right here.” I whisper as quietly as I can, placing a hand on Vera’s shoulder. The room stays silent after that. Outside of the room, we hear footsteps and a knock of metal on the floor.
Clack clack, clang, clack clack, clang
The person outside calls a name I don’t recognize, but Vil’s expression shifts into one of disturbed understanding.
“I know you’re here my love. Just come out and we can talk.” The voice calls out with a deranged laugh. ‘Ah, it’s someone’s crazy fan or ex.’ I think frowning a bit.
Clack clack, clang, clack clack BANG
The door shudders as a dent forms in it. It takes a moment to process that it was our door that had been hit until I see Epel standing before the door, magic circling his hands while he stands in front of us.
“Oh? Are those frightened breaths I hear? My my, you always were such a delicate thing weren’t you?” The voice exclaims, excitement dripping over their words as something crashes into the door again.
I find myself wondering how this guy got here, how they possibly managed to get past security in this place.
BANG
The dent grows as the hinges cry out in pain.
BANG
The door squeals in agony.
BANG … Thonk
The door falls down slowly as an unfamiliar grinning figure peers into the room.
“Oh Icy, there you are!” The intruder exclaims looking at Vera. Vera looks confused and frightened. I find myself moving before I can think about it. I crash through the door we locked to get in here, pulling Vera behind me.
“GET BACK HERE!” They scream followed by the sound of fire crackling through the air followed by the whip of vines.
“Who the fuck is that?” Vera whisper screams, grabbing my hand tightly.
“I don’t know. But we need you to get out of here, or hide really well.” I say in reply, my voice sounding much calmer than the heart beating in my chest. My shoulder starts to throb.
“I-I don’t know what’s happening. I don’t know who that is.” She says panicked.
“I know, I know, it’s not your fault, they’re just a creep.” I console them, starting to lead them toward another exit from the waiting room.
“Eugh- I won’t let you pass through here!” Epel shouts after a sound of pain. Before I can stop her, Vera barrels back into the previous room and punches the creepy stranger back through the doorway.
“No one hurts my friends,” Even she must not have known what came over her, but hearing her idol cry out in pain led her to punch the intruder with a force even she didn’t know she had. They fly through the doorway and crash through the door across the hallways.
“Agh- My sweet- why do you pain me so? I came all this way for you.” The stranger pleads. I feel useless as I watch Vil, Epel, and Vera.
“She wants nothing to do with you. Get that through your head or you won’t be left with just a few burns and scars.” Vil states with a venomous smile spreading over his lips.
“How did they get here? I don’t think they should have been able to. Is there anyone who would want to hurt Vera maybe? … Could it be Rachel again? Is she trying to destroy what I have left so I fall back into her arms?” I mumble to myself before hearing another crash. Vil had thrown the stranger through another door.
“That’s going to be a pain to replace.” Crowley comments walking towards the stranger, “Sorry, but who are you? And why are you bothering us on such an important day?” He adds with a certain detached annoyance like he was talking to a bug. It was then that I managed to walk back toward everyone to see what was happening.
“I’m just here to see my dearly beloved!” The intruder insists.
“That creep has nothing to do with my sister. But he thinks he is.” I state walking over, my heart beating loudly in my chest, “I was trying to be nice earlier.” I add with a practiced smile.
“How is taking my sweet Ice rose away from me a kindness? You just wanted her for yourself.” As they argue I catch a glance at their eyes, they’re cloudy. I stare at them for a moment before something clicks.
“You drank it,” I mutter.
“It’s a miracle thing, isn’t it? Oh, I was so close to holding my love. If you weren’t here- if I get rid of you-” The stranger realizes, rising despite their disfigured form.
“I don’t think so.” Crowley states bonking the stranger on the head with his hand knocking the fool out cold, “Now, I trust you’ll explain what you meant by ‘you drank it?’” Crowley asks motioning for some personnel to get rid of the creep.
“No, you mean they drank that?” Vera cuts in, “It’s- it’s a monstrous potion. It relieves you of all worldly pain, but you lose your ability to perceive right and wrong, as it eats away at you you start to decay and you’re susceptible to others' intentions. If they really drank that- then that means Rachel is involved.” She explains, rushing over as I lose my balance.
“This Rachel is going to be a much larger problem than I initially assumed.” Crewel comments, supporting me from behind as well, “But that doesn’t explain how that mangy mutt got in here in the first place.”
“If the only benefit of that potion was the elimination of pain it wouldn’t be as tempting. If you know which one it is you can probably piece together what happened. But one of the things the potion does is amplify your magic until you overblot. You either decay or overblot, and neither is a pleasant end.” I explain further, scratching at my arms as the ickiness settles into my skin.
“Why exactly do you know all of this?” Trein asks, walking over with a tap of his cane announcing his presence.
“… That’s how my best friend died,” I whisper with a small, pained, laugh.
“I’m sorry for your loss Ren. It is never easy to lose someone. I am too old now to guarantee your safety under my watch. But I will support you the best I can in other ways.” Trein states, looking between Vera and me.
“Hm, well given the dire circumstances I think I could keep an eye on them. Besides, it would be like adopting wor- children.” Crowley states, absolutely about to say workers instead of children before he corrected himself.
“There’s no need for that Crowley, I’m already taking care of their housing, so I’ll be the one to settle them into a safer space if need be,” Crewel states in turn.
“Hahahaha,” Vera starts laughing.
“I hardly think this is the time to be laughing child,” Crowley states.
“I know, I’m sorry, it’s just- you all barely know us but you’ve already accepted us more than our family ever did. It’s just kind of funny you know? Maybe I’m tired.” Vera states laughing a bit more while tearing up. She sniffles and tries to calm down her tears but Epel hugs her.
“There there.” He states, patting their back.
Crewel notices before I do that I’m crying too. He wipes away my tears with a handkerchief and sighs.
“You always seem to get hurt when something happens.” He says, placing a hand lightly on my injured shoulder causing me to flinch, “Let’s get you patched up, we’ll discuss what to do about your safety after that at least.” He adds.
Vil looks at Crewel as though he’d grown a second head.
“You’re not going to pick me up again are you?” I ask with a sniffle before turning my head to look up at Crewel. He smiles a bit.
“That depends, can you walk this time?” He asks though the answer was quickly found to be no, “Hm, well I’m afraid you’re going to have to sit still and be carried this time as well little pup.” He muses. I sigh and just let him carry me. Crowley joins Vil in his baffled stare at Crewel.
“What- is happening,” Vil asks furrowing his brows and pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Dad instincts,” Vera mumbles through sniffles.
“I suppose he does have a habit of adopting promising children, or ‘pups’ as he calls you.” Trein muses, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
“Hah, this really is going to be quite expensive. You’ll need to deal with that Rachel person sooner rather than later.” Crowley comments before he takes his leave.
“Unfortunately I can’t stay for too much longer either. However, Vil, you have my number. I ask that you update me on the situation when you can.” Trein states leaving as well.
“I’m sorry, your jacket is soaked with tears,” Vera says seeing Epel’s now wet jacket.
“It’s fine. I don’t get the whole unsupportive family bit, but I’m all too familiar with being in an unexpected fight with someone you don’t know. NRC isn’t exactly full of friendly faces. ‘Sides, you were really something. I didn’t expect ya ta smack the bastard in gob like that.” Epel states, slipping into an unfamiliar accent. Usually, he sounds like a well-read nobleman.
“I just heard you get hurt and my body was already moving on its own. I can’t take too much credit for that. I’m not nearly as brave as it seems.” Vera explains quickly.
“Not many have such noble intentions. Well, I suppose you won’t be a burden despite the issues that seem to surround your sibling. Though my opinion is subject to change should you prove to be loutish.” Vil comments.
–
“Ow- I didn’t think I’d dislocated it, it just felt numb at first,” I grumble, rubbing the arm where healing magic was applied.
“In an ideal world, you’d have time to rest, but for the moment we should discuss safety. Previously you would not be living with anyone but your sibling. Given the circumstances would you be more comfortable living in my house? Given my status, I have trained guards to deal with intruders like that person.”
“It would probably be safer to stay somewhere that secure. It’ll be a pain, yes, but I’m not going to deny any greater level of protection. Though I have my reservations about hired guards at this point.”
“That’s understandable. I can assure you, however, that my hired personnel will be much more reliable. Crowley and the owner of the organization that hosted the Frenzy prefer cost effectiveness to function.” Crewel grumbles.
“Da- Crewel! You shouldn’t say that in the building, slander the man later.”
“Pfft, but you don’t disagree.”
“Of course not, I’ve seen what happened- dude I was there. I mean last time was like two minutes ago. Eugh, I’m so tired now too.”
“You should get some rest here then. Would you prefer I stay here, or leave?”
“Thanks for that, do what you think is best.” I didn’t want to make him stay when there was going to be a lot of aftermath to sort out, and it was very unlikely that something would happen immediately after the last incident. Rachel doesn’t work like that, she eats away at you slowly until you give in to her.
Crewel ended up staying in the room, at least until I fell asleep.
–
“Oh Ren, did you enjoy our game of hide and seek? I had so much fun finding you.”
‘No, I recognize that voice.’
“You were so difficult to get a hold of. Were you that confused my dear? It’s okay, I can help you now. Just trust in me.”
‘No. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to be with her here.’
“Come closer, little Ren. I’ll make sure you’re safe in my arms.” Rachel’s arms wrap around me and begin to constrict me, suffocating me. It feels like all of the air is being pushed out of my lungs as the cold arms continue to snake around me and hold me closer.
“My adorable dear.”
–
TL;DR: Ren meets Crewel on a train after accidentally entering the wrong car and Crewel notices their distinct lack of fashion. From there Ren participates in a Speed Fashion contest with an unreasonable time limit and manages to prove their worth. Given this, Crewel takes in both Ren and their sister Vera to contribute to his team starring Vil and Epel. In the midst of this an old 'friend' from Ren's past resurfaces as an adversary.
#twisted wonderland#writing#fanfiction#divus crewel#twst crewel#We love the trope where someone just decides “You see this gremlin? This is my child now”#first post#It feels like I'm committing a crime.#I'm so sorry for this#Look#I know It's long#But It's fine#I'm totally mentally healthy#And not at all trying to escape reality#You should drink water#Also hi#Do you like it?#self indulgent
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I was rewatching Monster High: The Movie (2022) cause the sequel's coming out next week and upon rewatch, the fucking signs that Komos was actually Hyde's son not from the writing but from the COSTUME DESIGN for him was so striking to me that I'm pissed I didn't realize sooner.
Not only does he have the glasses, sideswept bangs and general human appearance of Jackson (minus the horns, I think in this universe Komos's mom was like a centaur or something, would explain why he's still so human-looking besides the horns), but there's nods to Jackson and Holt specifically all throughout his outfits in the movie.
(Also for the sake of ease I'm referring to the teacher as Komos cause typing Hyde Jr. or something constantly is gonna drive me nuts)
First, there's his main outfit which we see across the film as well as in promotional images, and YOU CANNOT FUCKING TELL ME the posing for his promo pic wasn't an intentional nod to Jackson LIKE LOOK AT THIS SHIT!!
The main thing that strikes me is the inversion of the yellow/gold and blue with Komos's tie and shirt, also the fact the colors are significantly desaturated in comparison to Jackson's flashy yellow and blue. My interpretation of this is that it's representative of the bad-guy/villainous interpretation Komos represents, in comparison to Jackson/Holt which seem to be a rare good-guy/positive interpretation of Jekyll and Hyde. It's like, yes this is the Jekyll/Hyde guy of this gen, his outfits are nods to G1 but is otherwise an entirely different character than Jackson/Holt. Which I mean, I do respect the writers for not having Komos be this gen's Holt Hyde and just as "Hyde's son," I feel like separating the two (three??) characters is and was the best decision. Just two different interpretations of the "descendant of Jekyll and Hyde" thing.
Another part of the decision to go with Jackson's more traditionally nerdy or professional type of fashion style is interesting to me. Komos does not want to be perceived as his Jekyll half, he wants to just be Hyde, hence why he refers to himself as Hyde's son not Jekyll and Hyde's son. And yet, it's like he can't deny his human Jekyll side. To be honest Jekyll's only referenced a few times in the movie (which okay, Hyde's the monster half, I get that, but you'd think he'd be a little more important yeah??) so it makes sense they're focusing on Hyde more but I did find it an interesting decision.
Next there's THIS OUTFIT which on rewatch made me audibly point like that soyjak meme like "THAT'S A REFERENCE TO JACKSON AND HOLT CAUSE OF THE YIN YANG DUAL COLOR SHIT"
Red and blue are mainly Holt's colors, but Holt's signature outfit's shirt is also dual-toned, split through the middle.
It's just with Komos, there's less of an emphasis on the yin-yang thing Jackson & Holt had in their interpretation of Jekyll & Hyde -- he's unbalanced in comparison to them -- hence it's not a black and white cardigan. Also, THE BOWTIE! Can't get more obvious with the Jackson nods than that.
There's also this outfit I wanted to mention, the one he wears during the Founders' dinner toward the end of the movie. Notice It's fully red-toned, where his initial outfit was mainly blue-toned, and the cardigan showed the transition between. It's like at first, he's studious and mellow-natured with a bit of flare but nothing too crazy -- Jekyll. Then when he's wearing the cardigan, he asks Clawdeen about her research, almost insisting she provide him the information she's gathered because of his desperation to lose the duality going on with him. And finally, at the end, he takes the potion his father made, fully embracing Hyde and abandoning Jekyll once and for all.
---
That's pretty much all I wanted to mention regarding the outfits, but I remember when I first watched the movie, I was severely disappointed that Jackson/Holt were basically confirmed to not be making a return in this generation (or at least in the live-action films but I imagine it'd be pretty confusing to have two characters represent the same specific monster character in the same gen). They were a really underutilized character concept outside of Ghouls Rule, and I feel like especially with Clawdeen being half human in this version that they could've been friends or something!
Maybe Jackson/Holt could've served as the antagonist of the film in Komos's position, but not out of malice, moreso misguidance. Holt was kinda hinted at in his diaries to have depressive symptoms, it would've been interesting to explore that with how he might have low self-esteem because of his half-human-ness. Also, apparently Deuce in G1/G2 was half human too? Why did they get rid of that this gen??? I don't know why they keep shifting representation around at times.
Questionable decision making aside, I actually did enjoy this movie a lot. From an objective standpoint it's a DCOM-quality movie with average writing (except Frankie bro they were funny as hell in this movie), slightly more fashionable outfits than DCOMs, and a basic self-acceptance plot. There's several movies, including one or two in G1, with similar but better-executed writing and storytelling and similar themes. But DAMMIT I can't get enough of this movie when I see it. It's a comfort movie. :'D
I could go ON about the Jackson/Holt erasure all throughout this movie, especially with the rumors it was based off an abandoned movie concept for the two back in G1, but this post is too long already and I've distracted myself from my work enough. :'D If anyone on this side of Tumblr wants to hear that ramble, I shall ramble about it another day.
Also, HAPPY SPOOKY MONTH!!! My Monster High AU is beginning this month with the main 5 ghouls' designs as well as a one-shot I've written. Maybe stick around for that if you want to idk! :D
#linposts#monster high#monster high g3#monster high: the movie#Mr. Komos#jackson jekyll#holt hyde#random ramblings#I promise I'm mentally well and healthy when it comes to Jackson/Holt :D I'm TOTALLY okay with them not being in G3 and being replaced :'D#I'm lying through my teeth LMAO#I do like Komos/Hyde Jr tho he slays#Just not in the same way as the OGs#He could never replace them qHq
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"i dunno, i don't think i have social anxiety or anything, i'm just awkward. like, i can do public speaking with no problem so long as i have a script, it's just that certain weird things make me nervous. it's fine, i just make it sound worse than it is when talking to my therapists." <=guy whose gut feelings are frequently convinced that basically everyone wants to beat him with hammers
#eliot posts#my mental issues just tend to manifest Weirdly lol#some things that make me socially anxious:#asking for things#approaching/talking to people individually when i previously only knew them in group settings#approaching ppl in general if i don't have a specific social script#talking one on one to much older adults#joining new groups of people where they know each other but i don't know all of them#also when ppl reference inside jokes to each other that im not in on i think they hate me and are leaving me out on purpose. bc they hate m#the middle stage between ''polite small talk acquaintances'' and ''actual close friends'' is both difficult and confusing AND scary#things that don't make me socially anxious that make most socially anxious ppl anxious:#public speaking#ordering food#making small talk when expected to#going places alone#so i'm totally mentally healthy see :)
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keep thinking i'm better and then something mildly upsetting will happen and immediately i'm back to
#jk jk i'm ok i'm FINE i'm totally mentally healthy#i think some random girl just laughed out loud at me?#i was getting in the lift and she was getting off and as she walked away she started laughing#and her friend said ''could you not hold that in''#sooooo pretty sure it was abt me and i'm not just being paranoid this time lmao#spent the whole lift ride hoping the cable would snap and i could just plummet to my death 👍#and ik she's a stranger and i shouldn't give a fuck what anyone thinks of me etc etc#but that's actually really fucking hard#ANYWAY#🧃
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hey whatever u do don't go and read through all of your posts about the amazing devil because you will come to the (totally not shocking) conclusion that you are Not Well
#reading though mine like damn i really feel all this at once huh#expressing thoughts and feelings via joey batey lyrics#sounds like a totally mentally healthy thing to do#i'm fine!#the amazing devil
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also idk i feel so fucking good abt myself idk genuinely being consistent with my gym routine has done everything for my mental health and confidence like i still feel bad abt myself sometimes but for the first time since i was probably 9 i'm having days where i look in the mirror and thinking DAMN i look good and those days are getting more frequent it's really the best feeling
#and it's not just the weight loss like. being overweight was such a struggle for me esp bc i've had issues w eds and stuff and.#idk it made me miserable. and i wasn't the healthiest bc i'd gained a lot due to pcos and my periods were irregular etc like it wasn't good#and now i'm medicated and fuck man my period is regular now and my weight is more normal and i just feel like. good abt that#bc i spent so long being unable to lose bc of my hormones and it was so disheartening bc i was doing everything 'right'#i feel a little bad talking abt it bc ik it's a sensitive topic and i have had issues w eds i obv don't think weighing less makes u healthy#etc etc. for me it was the healthy thing to lose what i've lost so i'm proud of that and i did all of that mostly without relapsing#over 2 years and i've had like. maybe a month of relapse total over that time and each time i've come out of it after a week or two#so i'm definitely stronger mentally etc BUT. my point is. the confidence hasn't come from trying to be smaller#and now i'm actively trying to build muscle and for the first time ever my confidence comes from looking BIGGER bc i want muscle growth etc#the confidence truly comes from within and when i was overweight i started to give myself that confidence#by starting to wear cute clothes and stop hiding my body#it is so true that losing weight won't make you like yourself or your body.#like. you can lose weight if you want but you HAVE to respect yourself first. i lost a lot of weight unhealthily in 2019 and regained it#& bc i did it out of self hatred i NEVER felt better abt myself when i got smaller. you rlly have to be able to love yourself as you are rn#it's cliche but very very true#anyway i don't rlly talk abt this stuff on here bc ik it's a sensitive topic but!!!#i really would recommend weightlifting and strength training if you wanna feel more confident#ik it won't work for everyone but for me it's genuinely transformed the way i see myself.#i no longer try to force myself to be as small as possible. and for me that's everything yk#ALSO LIKE. THE MENTAL HEALTH ASPECTS. just having the routine and getting exercise and getting out every day rlly helps too#i really would recommend it i've never felt better or more confident abt myself#the only thing is unfortunately and it's a very real problem but gym/gym bro culture often leans v close to e/d culture#it really sucks bc a lot of gym folks genuinely do love it and are very healthy with it#but the chicken and rice gym bro types are pretty rampant too and there's a LOT of dysmorphia and such in the community#so i kind of avoid gym bro circles for that reason bc i do think a lot of people take it too far and are very mentally unhealthy with it#but weightlifting/going gym in itself isn't the problem and if you're eating properly & taking care of yourself it's not gonna be like that#it's just knowing the types of ppl to avoid bc a lot of the mindset is pretty toxic 😭😭 but there are def a lot of ppl who do it healthily#like. i understand why people do it but i'm kind of against bulking/cutting at least for myself#bc for me it's not abt looking as strong as possible it's abt being fit and healthy physically & mentally if i look buff asf that's a bonus#but a lot of ppl take bulks/cuts too far & a lot of it is just regurgitated e/d shit unfortunately. just b careful who you interact with
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Hi everyone. I just want you to know I’m thinking about crowley supernatural. Sorry. (◠ᴥ◕ʋ) (●__●) (ー_ー゛)
#crowley spn#i'm not that sorry actually#had an in depth discussion about his character and motivations and how the writers failed#took a nap#woke up and went back to contemplating him but with even more manic energy#now just you wait. i can justify this obsession#you see: i like him#:)#it's not my fault i'm a 10#with great taste and no unresolved mental issues#i prommy i'm like soooooo mentally sound and you can tell bc i'm projecting on a totally respectable character to project on#no i promise it's fine#projecting on the gay homophobically mistreated constantly overlooked supernatural character is healthy actually#all i can say is that if /i/ wrote him he'd never be treated like this#and he'd be diagnosable with all the same issues i've got agfkahfkjajf#i'm healthy and great thnks for asking#i also go on monologues about being evil like once a month but i'm totally fine thx 4 asking#someone needs to make me a fictional character so i can be misinterpreted by the audience and be evil for funsies#i'm edgy. i could do it. you could put i can't decide by the scissor sisters on my playlist. i promise. i'm edgy.#anyway. bye lol#fluffle talks#also who wants to hear about how I can project my personal journey with aromanticism onto him#I don't think he's aro I just have a stunning ability to project
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🔥unpopular charles opinion
The thing is, it’s not an opinion, really. The question isn’t meant to be a complaint or a rebuttal or anything. I just genuinely don’t get it! The question goes something like this.
So Charles/Klinger seems to be the one actively disliked ship in the fandom, discounting the h*nn*hawk vs p*erc*ntyre gang war and that one rabidly anti-hawnk person (lol). Most nobody has any love for the ship, because it’s stupid and OOC, of course, but mostly because it’s egregiously obviously racist and gross, which is the critique that seems most common, and to be of most importance to people.
And to be clear, for the purposes of this post I am wholly agreeing with all that! It’s distasteful and immoral and people who are into it are insane, including me. I’m not arguing against this line of thinking, I just wanted to look at its inner logic. Because when I first heard people saying this, I thought, “Yeah, makes sense, Charles is truthfully a terrible person with abhorrent opinions. Nobody watching this already unfortunately bigotry-riddled show is obligated to try and look past that! It is Always valid to hate Charles’ guts.”
But it turns out most of the fandom (I assume it must be most, given how shockingly few people here have blocked me) actually don’t hate Charles, in general. It’s the specific ship, not the character, that’s distasteful. (Not to say any Charles ship is anything resembling popular, but like with most ships, that’s just a result of the general population’s Hawkeye BJ Laser Focus Gaze. I’ve never seen anybody actively dislike these ships when they’re brought up.) And the more I think about it, the more I wonder why, because well. to put it bluntly. It’s not like someone stops being racist when they’re not actively interacting with a nonwhite person.
You know what I mean? I feel like Charles’ bigotry would be a turn off for all of our generally morally sound protagonists, not just one who happens to be personally affected by it. But it only becomes an issue when it involves Klinger. I’ve heard people say that any Charles/Klinger ship fic would obviously have to go out of its way to address Charles’ racism, but I’ve read a few Charles/Hawkeye and Charles/Donna (and Charles / other strange and varied choices too, because of course I have) fics–really, REALLY good fics, that captured the characters very nicely and are very beautifully written–and I’ve yet to find one that discusses The Bigotry In The Room with any degree of seriousness.
(Pssst this is everyone’s chance to absolutely dunk on me by sending me fics that do this if there actually are a bunch and I’ve just never read them because I would in fact LOVE to read some fics with that topic regardless of ship!)
And to be clear, that’s fine with me! I truly do not care. When I read Charles running away to Maine or romancing Ms. Parker and I don’t see his love interests stop to ask “Hey, um, so any updates on the fact that you and your whole family are eugenicists?”, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, because I just assume that Charles has already gone through the cult deprogramming step of his character development at some point prior to this, and either the love interest in question has already confirmed this off-page, or they are making the same assumption I am. After all, at least in Hawkeye’s case, the mere act of admitting romantic interest in a Democrat from the back of beyond would necessarily imply a shift in values, right?
(Admittedly, for all we canonically know Donna could be a fashy scumlord herself, so this reasoning doesn’t wholly apply there, but it obviously does to her fanon background/personality.) (Which is adorable, by the way. Everyone go check out the collective oeuvre of AO3 user onekisstotakewithme.)
So that’s all cool! It’s just that the same thing applies for me when it comes to Charles/Klinger. If anything, it applies even more, because you can have a fic where Charles’ whole family attend his and Donna’s 2nd wedding (Everyone go check out the collective oeuvre of AO3 user onekisstotakewithme!!!) but if Charles gets with Maxwell in any capacity, his father is at the very LEAST never going to speak to him again, ever. And personally I think that is SO fun and sexy, because Charles’ father is a white supremacist and I want him to die painfully forever and ever amen. <3
I got sidetracked a few times here and I just realized I never actually asked the question, which is, TL;DR: If it’s immoral–or at least gross and nonsensical–to ship Charles/Klinger, because Charles is bigoted, shouldn’t the same also apply to shipping Charles with many other characters too, given that they should logically also have a problem with his bigotry?
For what it’s worth, I have a bit of a theory about the answer to this, all to do with the incompetent way Charles’ bigotry (and other characters’ reactions to it) are portrayed in canon and the deeper Doylist factors that I think forced the showrunners into writing it like that, but I wanted to stay strictly on the topic of fandom attitudes for now, because it may be niche and silly, but I find it interesting. And I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on it!
#Did this sound rude? Was I totally incoherent? Is everyone mad at me now? All these questions & more swirling around in my brain right now#It seems like such an obvious thing I feel stupid even bringing it up because there must just be some huge thing I'm missing#but I can't figure out what it is!#There was so much more I wanted to bring up here as I said but I had to Stop haha#like sometime I also want to do a post on how most people seem to envision Charles fitting back into his family and his old life very well#and I always picture the exact opposite! Not just from a ''what I would want to have happen'' POV but also just#what I think would complete his arc in a satisfying way and build on the things that happened to him in canon#not saying he's gong to go home and become a commie immediately (ah! if only!) and I think he WOULD try DESPERATELY#to have everything be exactly the same. but I just don't think it would work!#like Margaret and unlike BJ or Hawkeye his pre-war life was not built on healthy sustainable or even ethical foundations#and that life is going to collapse in on him!#but ghdsjkgdsj STOP I will make a separate post later. enough controversy for today I'm sleepy#(but I also do SOOO want to make a post examining the insane inconsistencies in how the protags treat Charles and his bigotry cause it's#SIMPLY RIDIC#)#Hawkeye when he wants to have a little bonding moment with Charles:#I can excuse racism but I draw the line at failing to flirt with a 6'4'' millionaire. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!#and the thing is Maxwell also does this. but of course THAT isn't ok. wheezing.#Charles: god I fucking HATE [checks the list of protected minorities to find an ethnic group that's not on there] uhhh MEDITERRANEANS#Max who is used to long odds and is already mentally rehearsing his teary ''But officer! My husband was in that house!'' speech:#haha yeah ok Major. I think we are soulmates btw :)#THIS POST IS A DISASTER. APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE AND HAVE A NICE DAY.#Charles Emerson Winchester III#MASH#Starky loves answering questions#marley-manson#CHARMAX#Starky's Original Posts
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People always talk about how Laios is a character who gives fat vibes even if he isn't technically fat in canon which is very true, and I have some thoughts on that!! (this will be a long post lol sorry)
There's a lot of material in the dunmeshi extras that show how fatness factors into dungeon exploration, which shows that only the most skilled adventurers are able to keep weight on while in the dungeon (thank you to @savaralyn2 for the translations! links to the individual posts these panels come from are added on the pics):
So we know, at the very least, that most of the characters are kept thinner than they would be naturally through the strain of death/revivification in the main dungeon. We also see that Laios has some fat on him, which through the text means that he's skilled enough to at least keep some of his weight (which makes sense, he doesn't die very often in canon).
(to be clear this ^ doesn't constitute as "fat," he is built as fuck here he just has some fat on his body which shows his prowess as a fighter in this universe)
HOWEVER my personal little pet theory/headcanon is that Laios actually has a difficult relationship with food! I know that doesn't make much sense at first since he's shown to eat a lot in canon, but hear me out.
In pre-canon, before he reunited with Falin, he's shown to be extremely gaunt:
But after partnering up with Falin, he gains weight and looks much more healthy very quickly. Part of this is definitely because of his unstable living situation/mental illness, but he and Falin still live in very poor conditions after this and he still manages to gain weight/get healthier, so I believe it's mainly due to her making sure he eats enough.
We also know that Laios is. most certainly autistic. Nobody argue with me on that it's like pretty much widely accepted as canon for a lot of reasons lmao. So my theory is that he's actually food sensitive. He's shown to not really care about food that isn't monster-related. Even when he eats regular food, he's usually imagining it being a monster instead.
He has never eaten squid before, which is totally normal, but could also support my theory in a way :P it being a monster still can't save it from the autistic sensory bad experience in this case, though.
So I think that his adventurous eating during the course of the story isn't because he's actually an adventurous eater normally, it's purely because of his special interest (monsters, duh). During his journey to recover Falin, he's able to build up a healthier relationship with food through Senshi's guidance and the involvement of his special interest.
By the end of the story, after he's retired from dungeon exploration and living in comfort/safety, and with his newly healthy diet, he's finally able to gain a lot more weight. Imo, his is a story of someone who's naturally meant to be fat, but is only able to reach that point when in a stable and healthy environment.
(for the record I know he's not that fat in this post canon comic, but this is only a year and a bit after the end of the story so there's still time lol)
alright I'm goin back to drawing now just had to infodump for a minute ✌️ keep it sleazy
#lyla's talking again#this is all probably common fanon but I just wanted to type out my specific thoughts on it lol#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi spoilers#delicious in dungeon spoilers#laios touden#long post#CW disordered eating
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One of the greatest joys in life is using your shitty old car to shut down a legitimately nice car. For any law enforcement folks reading this, I would never endorse street racing. Also, I think I heard someone shoplifting in the other room, and you should go check it out. The best kind of street racing is the street racing the other person doesn't know they're having.
Now, I've had nice cars in the past before. Once, I had a Mercury Cougar XR7 with most of its original paint. Come to think of it, I might still have it somewhere in the backyard. Hard to keep them all apart these days. Anyway, when you drive a nice car, you get this sort of ego boost every time you see a lesser vehicle. How dare you peasants not realize how inferior your base Corollae are? Only a connoisseur can truly appreciate the divine features of this fine automobile.
That kind of mentality is simply not healthy. All of us, each and every one of us, are just a few generations away from being shit-throwing apes. The fact that we managed to make a machine that gets us down the highway quickly is a total miracle, and it's not any more of one because we put a pretty logo on it and charged $20,000 extra to put precision-engineered butt manipulators in the seats. It is this problem that the very fast beater is meant to solve.
When you have a shitbox and that shitbox goes faster than a nice car, whether because of superior driving (not me) or a significant amount of horsepower (not me) or a lack of understanding of your imminent mortality (possibly me) it is a great feeling to shut down those rich folks tooling around in their "good cars." It knocks them down a peg, which keeps them from doing things like going into work and causing another housing crisis. In fact, I'm going to go out and gap some Porsches with an old rusty fire extinguisher filled with nitrous oxide right now. You should come too, so I can get a ride home after the cops bust me for shooting my engine block across four lanes of the highway.
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Your Next Long-term Friendship🍒💄♥️
(Pick a card/Tarot reading)
Hey it's Lunadream~ we're going to learn all about your next long lasting/healthy friendship!💋 Who is your future bestie?🥰
hope you find your message~
Notice: Only take what resonates because the most important thing is your own judgement!♡ If anything doesn't resonate, don't worry! It's not your message right now <3
(Entertainment purpose only. All rights reserved)
Also thank you all for the love and support on my readings!!❤ You are all such gifts.💋🤗
Now, shall we begin~? ^w^
Think of the you and your future bestie, and pick whichever pile that fits the energy you're feeling~📮🍬♥️
Pile 1🍓
Pile 2🍬
Pile 3🍒
Pile 4🍫
Take your time and choose carefully with the heart~♡
On to the readings —> 😍💄♥️
Pile 1🍓
Sign energy: Knowledge, Health, Audience, Seduction, Conquer, 7th house, Mercury, Air, 11th house, Pluto, 🚫🥳🔮☀️
💄Your energy: I am sensing very venusian, feminine vibes for you guys💕 Very charming and beautiful, like I feel like you can gain anyone's trust with just the way you speak. You're sociable in a soft and seductive way, people fall for the way your mind works and the way you word things.💬🥰 So sweet and captivating aura for this pile. Noticable placements are air dominants, Libra, Gemini and Aquarius placements. Pluto/Scorpio is also apparent! Of course those are just some of the main energies I'm getting, take what resonates <3 You guys are just so attractive mentally especially, Also you may have put a stop to romantic relationships for your health sake or at least tried to shift focus away from giving so much energy into those types of connections. You are very aware and knowledgable of the world around you, mostly through sources of the internet.🔍 There is definitely a soft vibe to my pile 1's💘 Also your mind and intelligence is your superpower, you may have a lot of followers online/or have many connections with people that way. I'm getting extrovert vibes but not necessarily have to be, you may just have a lot of people who like you. Some of you are health conscious, or trying to focus on self care.💅💄🤗
♥️Your next long term friendship: Read, Relaxed, Reserved, Cinderella, Rose, North node, Leo, Scorpio, 9th house, 3rd house, 😫✂️🍭🥱
Ohhh interesting my pile 1's your next bestie will be very kind and understanding of you, I'm getting older sibling vibes from them🥺❤ Like they will be totally there for you, and a good listener I'm hearing. Something is telling me they read books, and may enjoy writing stories. Placements for them may be Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, and Gemini so look out for those!!😊 Omg you guys your friend is going to compliment you so well, it's honestly adorable😭😭 Like you two are somewhat different but go together like salt and pepper🧂🖤 Really cute, they are more of an introvert loner type, but like super chill and just vibing. I feel like they were really lonely until they met you🥺 You two may enjoy watching disney movies together😍❤ I feel like they will help keep you down to earth and end toxic cycles or relationships that aren't good for you.🥺 Ahhh they are just so there for you, they could have the name Rose or a flower related name. Omg your friend may become a successful writer in the future. Lol I feel like your bestie will come into your life as sort of a "prince charming" but in a best friend way, giving you the best advice and preventing you from letting yourself get hurt or disappointed⚔✊ Even though they aren't very social and more so closed off, they are so sweet to you omg.🙊♥️
📮Extra cards: Over, Chiron, Entertainment, Business, Anger (They may get very defensive if you get hurt or sad, I feel like they will be the first to tell somebody off that broke your heart or offended you. True bestie vibes👌🥰
Thank you my pile 1's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 1 with the strawberry emoji~🍓 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Pile 2🍬
Sign energy: Honest, Honey, Secret admirer, Us, Trouble, North node, Chiron, 7th house, Moon, Leo,🗒🥰🏎🚨
💄Your energy: Okay so you guys are going through a lot🤯 We have prominent Libra, Cancer and Leo for this pile's chart. Some of you are searching for a way to heal from past experiences, you may not be addressing it directly or trying to shift focus from your problems. You guys are healing from something, likely a romantic connection or situation. You could be in a one sided relationship or there are blockages in your love life, whatever the case there is some tension with romance for you guys. You may be keeping secrets or hiding your feelings, you just want someone to talk about it with. I think you need to be sweeter to yourself, and think highly of yourself too.❤ My pile 2's have gone through a lot, I heard you have trouble sharing your emotions a lot. But you will be healing so fast and in no time you will be unstoppable✊🤗 Also your emotions make you very attractive and you may have secret admirers due to your kind and true feelings. Some of you may write in your diary often, or write down affirmations for your future or goals. I'm hearing you are very sweet and genuine my pile 2's🤧💕 You want to be understood and cared for, and omg you are so soft and beautiful I just want to give you a hug!!
♥️Your next long-term friendship: Important, Capricorn, Teddy bear, Power, Tease, Chiron, South node, 6th house, Uranus, 10th house, 🌇🌅🧍♂️😁
Okay so it is highly likely your next long term friendship has more assertive qualities, omg they will want to take care of you and help you. Heavy Capricorn influence on their chart, also look out for Virgo and Aquarius placements. Saturnian vibes. They are very stable and strong, I think they are more dominant with you like taking your problems into their own hands or teasing you slightly. You may meet them through online or business of some sort, they can seem cheeky at first until you see how attentive they are to you.☺ They will most likely hug you a lot or more often, because they see your emotional needs and want to care for you.🥺♥️ They themselves are rather less expressive and they seem like they aren't as needy for emotional comfort, but deep down they too are healing and have past experiences they feel hurt by.😭🏚 Probably why they want to comfort and care for you because they wanted that themselves, your next friend may be successful in business. For some of you this friend will be a masculine. They may act as a sort of "husband" archetype but in a friend sense, like providing support and help to you and all. Their body language is very commanding, they could live in the city or do business there soon. Also I just got virgo rising vibes. They will get your life together for you, opening doors and huge opportunities. What a helpful and supportive friend they will be.😊 They'll want to help you through everything, it will be a very stable and healthy friendship.♥️👏
Extra cards: Safe, Allow, Be yourself, Lies, Kitty (Your friend want you to feel able to be you and be happy, and let you feel safe and good about yourself☀️)
Thank you my pile 2's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 2 with the candy emoji~🍬 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Pile 3🍒
Sign energy: Salty, Memories, Right, Couple, Impulsive, Lilith, 2nd house, 10th house, 1st house, Jupiter,💎♓🔦👄
💄Your energy: Ah we have some bad b*ch vibes here in this pile, so powerful and seductive.😘 You want that ride or die best friend, to have real fun with🚀🎉 Taurus, Capricorn, Aries, Sagittarius and Pisces energy is prominent. Your lips are your very attractive feature, also you have this hot look that draws others in.🧲 You may be bitter about something like old memories or an ex that gets you mad, something you remember that makes you salty.😡 Some of you were the type to date really early in life or have many breakups, but now you are very powerful and on the right track🏆 You guys are so ambitious and stunning, you are owning your bad side😈 Your voice mesmerizes all your admirers and you speak power, total hotties.🔥 Physically gorgeous, mentally too. I just heard people get addicted to your voice, like they can't let it go. Everyone has this fatal attraction to you, the spotlight is on you my pile 3's💋 You don't take no for an answer, direct approach to what you want. If anyone in this pile is going through heartbresk or break up just know you don't need them like you are high demand they don't deserve you.👑 You are a diamond, one of a kind and they know it too. My pile 3's have this look in theirs eyes that is so alluring and captivating.💫
♥️Your next long-term friendship: Eternity, Long, Push, Shame, Image, Fire, Sun, 7th house, Neptune, 11th house, 📸🐭😩😑
So your bestie is going to be in your life for a while I'm hearing, very long lasting connection to confirm! Look out for Leo, Libra, Pisces, and Aquarius energies. You guys will take selfies together and share photos with eachother, giggling about it and I also feel like you two will roast people for fun.😂 You may even tease eachother or act like enemies as an inside joke. You two will be very playful with one another, like lifetime close friends. Your friend may be against the idea of you getting into a romantic relationship or commitment because then you will be just as close with that person.🥺❤ They are a little clingy, but only because they will feel like you guys are inseparable <3 It may be a long time before either of you get a romantic relationship of your own, like you two may both stay single for a while and just own your single power together👑💫 They will push you to do things you haven't tried before and vice versa, they want to be friends with you forever I'm hearing omg😢💞 You two get to be weird together, and your humor combined is 10/10. I feel like people may shame you two for whatever reason, like paint a picture of you guys being bad or a chaotic duo but that's only because they are jealous of a friendship like yours😌🔥🌈
Extra cards: Lies, Psycho, Loose, Matchmaker, Flower (Aww no I'm getting that many others will insist your bestie is a bad influence on you, like they're untamed or too wild. Like people won't like you guys spontaneous nature together because they will call it mischievous or crazy🥺 Your friend will stick with you through it all though, no matter what people say about the two of you. Omg like ride or die❤🎆
Thank you my pile 3's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 3 with the cherry emoji~🍒 Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Pile 4🍫
Sign energy: Father, Self love, Odd, Past, Perfect, Virgo, Water, Venus,💛👢🖇🍫
💄Your energy: Okayy so for my pile 4's this is a very preppy, feminine energy. I am getting vintage vibes~🖤 Prominent energies are Virgo, Taurus and Libra as well as water placements. You may hold on to the past even uncommon things that not many people remember, you have a vivid memory. You may be really into shoes, or rare clothing (Like things you don't see people wear often). My pile 4's have high standards, it can be for anything from clothes to romantic partners. You may think very highly of yourself or at least acknowledge your beauty, because after all you are very beautiful😌♥️ Some of you have a specific relationship with your father, either inspired or disappointed by him. You think a lot, but I feel like you put too much pressure on yourself. Accept that you are perfect in your own way, I think you already know that💓 You guys are so sweet, also chocolate may be your favorite sweet treat.🍫 Such a delicate feminine aura, very pretty and well kept. You may have a strange hobby or interests, many people perceive you as being different (most likely in a good way☀️) and the color yellow may be significant to you. This pile is just so polished and gorgeous oml😩♥️💞
♥️Your next long-term friendship: Psycho, Leader, Door, Tsundere, Nostalgia, Venus, Chiron, South node, Mercury, Saturn,☀️🟦🌋💬
Omg my pile 4's this is so interesting idk where to start!! They will be very bold and take the initiative, this could be a coping mechanism to act tough when they are actually not that way. You may have met this person in the past, or they bring back many memories to you.⏳ Your friend could be a little older than you, or have that vibe about them. Feminine energies are also present, It is possible for them to have Venus-Sun aspects. Libra, Taurus, Gemini, Virgo, Capricorn and Aquarius are all prominent placements to remember. This could be an existing connection that was closed off or seemed distant, for a small amount of you I'm getting that this is someone who didn't like you at first or vice versa, but then becomes close to you. They may have acted cold on purpose out of fear of getting close to someone⛈💔 They talk a lot, but they may accidentally say harsh things out of habit🥺 They can have bursts of anger centered from their past, they may have been hurt by other's words.😭😭 Blue is a color for them, they may wear that as their comfort color. They will definitely hide their intnese emotions from you, shutting them out so you don't feel burdened. Also I feel like when you two become friends they will be strangely worried about preserving your beauty?? Keeping you covered up or saying you should wear less revealing outfits😂😂 I think it comes from a place of protecting you, they don't want you to get used or tricked by others I'm hearing.♥️ They will care about you a lot more than you will know🥺💞
Extra cards: Pisces, Ankles, Fishing, Yellow, Passion
Thank you my pile 4's! If you feel this resonated, you may tap the heart to claim this message!♥️
I hope you enjoyed your reading! ʚ(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )ɞ If you did be sure to let me know pile 4 with the chocolate emoji~�� Thanks for scrolling through, Hugs hugs hugs!! See you in the next reading💋
Wanna see more readings like this? Check out my tumblr for accurate readings for you!💗🌊🌸
Thanks for reading! \(*^w^)/💌
-Lunadream <3
#pick a pile#tarot pick a card#daily tarot#astrology reading#free tarot#pac reading#pick a photo#tarot#tarot readings#tarot reading#tarotblr#tarotcommunity#tarot pac#pac tarot#pick a card reading#pick a card#pick a image#pick a reading#pick a picture#intuitive readings#dailytarot#psychic readings#tarotreading#astrology readings#friendship goals#friendship#best friends#divination#collective reading#general reading
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Call me Lovesick?
Tending to their significant other who's unwell due to flu season. How would they do it?
Pairing: hyung line
Genre: fluff/comfort
Word Count: 1282 (total)
Warnings: mentions of sickness (throwing up).
Note: hii <3 hope everyone's been well! I had this marinating half complete in my drafts, I had forgotten about it. but here it is. Hope you enjoy!
Masterlist
Heeseung:
He'd get so worried about you but at the same time, he's kind of giddy because he gets to take care of you even more than usual.
Tucks you in and helps you to the washroom even if you can stand. Will ignore your protests and continues to help, "I know you can but I'm here aren't I?"
Can not stop himself from brushing your hair out of your face and hand-feeding your soup, gently blowing on it. Tries the airplane hack and you give him a deadpan look but he laughs at his joke.
Definitely pulls the "I told you so card" every time you try to avoid medicine or eating because you feel too sick to do anything.
"I told you eating ice cream during a snow storm was a bad idea". "maybe there's a reason people don't eat from sketchy hidden vendors even if the prices are cheap!"
But either way, when he's not nagging your ears off, he's being the sweetest bf ever.
Very observant about your condition, and constantly checks your temperature to see if you're improving or not.
Entertains you by sharing silly childhood stories, messages the boys sent and sings you to sleep with his honey voice.
Rubs your back to help you sleep, the warmth that radiates from him is so soothing.
Jay:
For a second he's shocked that you're sick...like on his watch? How was he careless? 🤨
Activates his inner nurse and tends to you like a newborn kitten and you have to tell him to calm down. (even if you like the treatment and attention).
Makes you warm broth soup, thick creamy soup, rice porridge, slices sweet apples, ginger lemon grass tea and you wonder if you should get sick all the time if it’s going to be such a healthy and delicious experience.
It doesn't matter if you can't taste the flavours properly.
Places a trash can nearby with a tray of mouthwash and tissues in case. He wants to be prepared for anything!
Doesn’t allow himself to sleep unless you fall asleep first and ensures you lay on your side rather than on your back.
Tries his hardest to calm your humiliation when you throw up because it's normal! “Nothing to be ashamed about!” He keeps reminding you he doesn't see you differently even at this moment of vulnerability. Makes him instantly 100x more attractive.
Jay is a major act of service guy so when he’s not tending to you, he’s mentally planning ahead -> prepping your next week's outfits/irons them for when you get better soon, makes small portions of your favourite food and stores them in your fridge because he knows you’ll be on low energy even when you get better. Cleans the apartment for you.
Is so patient with you. During tantrums to avoid medicine he'll bribe you with kisses and if that doesn't work he'll just crush the tablet if you can’t swallow it to add in your food, becomes 100x times more creative. Though he sighs a lot he means well as he bribes you with juice as compensation for the disgusting taste. 😭
Jake:
So worried that the crease between his eyebrows doesn't leave until you recover. Each time you cough, his pout deepens and it's the cutest thing ever.
He hates how much pain you're in and wants to take it away, wants to endure it in your place but that's not possible so he pulls out his phone to search for the best ways to deal with sick loved ones.
Uses Wikihow, he does not care because your health comes before looking desperate. Willing to do every thing by the book until he sees your discomfort and almost...almost gives in but you need to eat to get better!
It kills a part of him when he forces you to take medicine or when you shiver as he wipes your heated arms/forehead with a wet cloth.
“I know it’s cold but you’ll feel so much better soon. I promise”.
He fears something awful will happen if he turns away so he never leaves your side even when you sleep. It's so comforting to wake up to his loving presence.
His eye bags are a depressing sight but Jake is stubborn and claims that he wants to do these things for you, it’s bittersweet but it’s love.
Massages your shoulders and legs to lull you into a deep sleep, hopes you might recover faster if your body recharges.
There are moments when he tries to cook a sick dish he’s never cooked before and it turns out awful. He can’t have his baby eating that so he whips up soup he’s made before and anticipates your reaction.
Tries to hand-feed you but gets too giddy and shy, covers his face with his hand when you make eye contact and you near yelp as he tilts the spoon. Never again.
Watches your favourite shows you’ve missed out on and narrates the episodes to you, there’s no way he’s letting your burnt-out eyes get a hint of screen that isn’t your text messages/calls. They’re more important than a show you can watch later.
Despite your worries about infecting him, he pulls you to rest on his chest as he plays with your hair and talks about all the places, he wants to take you out to in the future.
SUNGHOON:
He tries his best to convey an image of rationality but internally he’s panicking losing each sane fibre of being.
Can NOT stop thinking about horrible situations so he needs a small session where he's alone and hyping himself up and pretends safer and happier scenarios.
After that he immediately switches and becomes the poster caretaker, literally knowing exactly what to do.
Sunghoon pays keen interest to your expressions and body language, waiting for the next sign of discomfort or pain.
As an elder sibling, he has the urge to protect and has taken care of others before so this isn’t anything new but, it’s you. It’s not a friend or a family member, it’s the love of his life who needs his attentive help so, he has to approach you like you’re made out of glass.
Reminisces of days when he took care of his sister and almost tore up and you ask him what the hell was wrong and he's like "Oh how fast time flies by" like ??? Ok
Already had a cabinet stocked with flu/allergy medicine so he doesn’t need to worry about leaving you alone and buying medicine. Sunghoon would try to avoid strong medicine until it’s advised by a doctor. Definitely tries home remedies his parents used on him during his sick childhood years.
A firm believer in soul food healing so he orders it or makes it often.
Thinks back to all the ways this could have been avoided and the what-if situations make him recall all the fun you two would have together. Instead of sulking, he gets motivated to work harder to ease your pain.
Cramps? A heating pad is available. Back hurts? Will massage the pain away. Head and eyes hurt? Be ready to get serenaded to sleep by his voice.
Although he understands the importance of checking up on you, he knows how irritating it is to constantly hover around someone. So in instances where Sunghoon, can feel that you’re overwhelmed or want privacy, he’ll leave the room and do whatever he usually does. He’s ready to wait until you’re emotionally recharged and call for his company.
When Sunghoon returns, he’s beaming with a bright smile and a story to tell you.
Sickness or not, he’s still big on affection and ignores your worries for him as he hugs you, touches you or kisses your cheeks.
thank you for reading!
please do not edit/translate/copy.
#k-labels#enha works#enha imagines#enhypen#enha scenarios#enha fluff#enha angst#enha x reader#enha headcanons#enhypen x reader#enhypen drabbles#enhypen fluff#enhypen fics#enhypen scenarios#enhypen reactions#enhypen imagines#sunghoon#heeseung#jay park#jake sim#jaeyun#jungwon#sunoo#niki#heeseung fluff#heeseung x reader#heeseung imagines#jay scenarios#jake sim scenarios#sunghoon scenarios
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Slashers with y/n that just gets along with everything
Like slasher could litteraly kill somone near y/n and she would be like alr alr whats really important is that you are happy🤠😎. Im sorry that first 2character had super long headcanons while last ones have way less :( I had no ideas Request open!
Billy Lenz
He always expects some sort of negative response when he calls people and when he heard new voice on the Phone he got even more exited cuz new person new reaction! He totally didnt expect her to just go "yeah yeah sure buddy, anyways... how is your day man? Cuz im so so tired...*starts normal converstation*
He probably tries to stay in character but he is so caught of Guard he doesnt know how to react really (hehe the table has turn)
Now he kinda hopes that she will pick up cuz shes very intresting😈 billy likey
"Ew its this creep again! He is asking for you y/n? Of please dont tell me you befriended him??" "So what? He said hes favourite fruit is strawberry he cant be that bad!" *billy saying slurs on the phone*
You need to constantly tell him that, no Billy no harrasing women isnt sexy, you arent quirky, you are mentally ill
"Y/n i killed that bitch that was gossiping about you 🧍 " "👍good for you billy im glad you found healthy way to cope with that negative emotion😇" "on god"
His whole moral compass is created around the simple question 'does it hurt y/n?' .1:no it doesnt so feel free to do it .2 do not do it, she will ban Billy from sweets (bad ending)
The man from hush
This guy. This dude. This Little gremlin. He is upset that he gets no reaction! Like please oh please act all angy when he 'acidently' shot tire in her car! But oh no ofc no, she had to be like "oh its okay honey i have backup in garage🥰" hes like HHUH SINCE WHEN WE HAVE GARAGE
Like tbh thats how i imagine how they met: he saw her, he wanted to hunt her, she was so chill that she didnt even leave her household while the power was off and he went inside and just saw her having lil nap on couch. 🧍🤨erm exuse me gurl im trying to roleplay epic hunter here tf
He probably kidnaped her cuz she was too weird to just kill her but he didnt want to risk her calling police. He probably tied her up and yeeted her on backseats. And then she begun judging music on the radio"yo big guy can i get some good music taste?" "What? Whats wrong with Taylor Swift?"
He will overshare everything to kinda check where is her limit if it comes to being chill "yeah so i killed this old lady.." "im sure you had good reason🥰" "🤨... anyways... yeah so i was drinking some redbull when some guy said i look ugly so i shoot his head off and-" "HEY HEY hold up geez you CANT drink Energy drinks?? Bestie you know it is unhealthy?? Also you like hunt for sport it will ruin your condition!? How you gonna shoot people with shakey hands?? You crazy or something?" "Damn😔"
Micheal myers
I tried to put him here but i realised he will be as chill as her.
Like he can give her gifts covered in blood and she' just going to clean it and wear it like nothing happened or completley ignore it
He cares about this stuff as much as y/n so like not at all. I mean tbh theres is a bit of difrence: shes at least positive about it! Like "yeah micheal go for it, love🥰😇 i know its hard to cope with trauma take it all out alr?" Shes trying to be a good supporting gf not her fault she never had serial killer bf!
Brahms Heelshire
He lives for attention! What do you mean the war crime he commited this lunch break is okay!?!? Baby pleasee
But this negativity disapears the moment he realised he can get a lot of positive attention when he will do some nice stuff! "Oh honey I didnt kill any rats today" "oh that's amazing brahms I'm sure you and the rats inside walls will get along well soon🥰" (rats in walls bully brahms)
Please complement him or he will get a tantrum and destroy something
Brahms and rats have very hard past i might do seperate hc about that
Ghostface
"Look babe! My newest victim *shows photo*" "ugh baby...😰 you NEED to buy new camera or watch some youtube tutorials about how to take good photos" "aw man whats wrong with my pictures 😔"
Otherwise y/n supports his hobbies! People need to grow😇 (and he needs to grow up)
If theres 2ghostfaces(like in most movies) they will bet money on how long you gonna keep this 'do whatever as long as youre happy' act. Well they didnt know that this wasnt an act but her personality
Also they will probably try to use this chillnes aginst her like "oooh y/n something terrible happened! I crushed my car oh what will i do!" "Alr bestie i will drive you over there😇" "😈omg you are so nice i totally didnt expect that(heheh i dont need to pay for gas today (hes very evil))
#slasher x reader#slasher headcanons#billy lenz#billy lenz x reader#brahms heelsire#brahms x reader#micheal myers#micheal myers x reader#ghostface x reader#ghostface#hush headcanon#hush 2016#hush x reader#the man x reader
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reaction to finding out you have a chronic disease | fem!reader x haikyuu!!
this idea popped into my head in the shower. shower thoughts are the best. as a chronically ill person such as myself (mentally and physically, LOL!) i felt maybe I was a little qualified to write this. these are all diseases i experience! i can def write some that i am not diagnosed with :) i'm a biology nerd, so i love learning new things, especially about diseases! some of these are more serious than others.
i tried to keep the disease symptoms/descriptions general so it can appeal to more diagnoses (for example, nosebleeds are indicative of several different diseases) that way more people can feel represented by what i write!
‼️warnings: mentions of blood, nekoma team being dorks, seizures, WAY too many ellipses (sorry I just love them), pointless bantering (oikawa), dramatic af, osamu described as "caked-up" (sorry not sorry), railing on atsumu for shits and giggles, deep hatred of the word moist
want to see a different haikyuu character's reaction? request here! also, if you want to read a specific disease represented, i can see if i can put it in there too :)
✿ kuroo tetsuro
"hey when do you want to- OH MY GOD ARE YOU OKAY?!"
blood dripped from your nose onto the gymnasium floor. "oh. another nosebleed. my bad, I'll clean that up..." you said apathetically.
"hey, this is sort of a big deal, ya know? shit... yaku, I need a towel or something!" he shouted.
they really weren't anything serious. ever since you were little, you had frequent nosebleeds. your mom wrote it all off as the cold weather (even in summer), so it wasn't really that big of a deal to you either (until a few doctor visits later). still, the apathy you felt toward your predicament remained.
yamamoto had already rushed over at his captain's call. "does she need an ice pack, too? fuck, I don't know what to do...."
"aren't you supposed to tilt your head up?" one member asked.
"no, no i think you're supposed to tilt your head down...." another muttered.
"GUYS, GUYS I GOT IT. GOOGLE SAYS TO 'sit down and tilt your head forward, pinching the top part of your nose above the nostrils for like, 10 to 15 minutes.'" lev sat back proudly, phone in hand.
"can't believe you were smart enough to look that up..." kenma whispered under his breath.
"hey, hey, look at me. you still with us?" kuroo said, a hand on either side of your face.
despite the towel against your nose, you couldn't help but laugh. "oh my god, guys! it's not like I'm dying! this happens all the time."
"but that's not...normal. did you ever get it checked out?" kuroo stared at you inquisitively, his brow raised. his fellow teammates nodded.
you sighed. "look, unless there's a lot of excessive gushing or anything like that, they said i should be okay. yes there's a whole disease behind it all with a long-ass name that no one can pronounce and yes there are sometimes other symptoms that could result in death, but I'm totally fine, okay? I'm perfectly healthy!"
"you poor, fragile angel..." lev said, a hand on his chest, distraught.
"that... does NOT make me feel more relieved. at all. in fact, I'm more worried. should we go to the hospital? that one looked a little... gush-y...." kuroo said, pacing back and forth before setting his eyes back on you.
removing the towel from your nose, you shook your head. "no. look, bleeding nose already gone, see? I'm not going to the hospital. I'm completely fine. relax, kuroo."
kuroo stared at you for another moment, taking in your expression, searching for any signs of discomfort. at last, he sighed. "ok. fine. I concede. but if you ever feel the littlest bit unwell, tell me or one of us, okay?"
after your agreement, and several more minutes of doting from both your boyfriend and all the other team members, you at last parted ways.
as you got out of the shower that night, your phone lit up with a notification.
tetsu 💕 [11:23pm]: I'm serious about what I said back there. please talk to me when you aren't feeling good. you mean so much to me that I can't imagine what life would be like without you. sleep well, babe. love you.
✿ osamu miya
"damn are you o-- OKAY, YEAH, NO. SHE'S NOT OKAY."
it was your average day as a supportive, amazing, fantastic girlfriend watching your iconic, sexy, hot, caked-up boyfriend play volleyball with his piss-haired twin and the rest of the team of inarizaki.
unfortunately for you (and the entire volleyball team), inarizaki had a recent issue with their air conditioning units. even more unfortunate was the fact that the fans in the gymnasium were practically there for decoration, that's how useless they were.
despite it being late march (still quite cool outside), the players and spectators were drenched in sweat.
still, you weren't about to let a little (lot) bit of sweat deter you from cheering for your mans!
so, you remained in the stands, cheering as loudly as you could (except for the times when you couldn't because atsumu was once again on his I'm About To Serve Power Trip).
it was finally nearing the end of the game, and thank GOD it was because you were starting to feel reaaalllly light-headed.
at the final score of the match, you stood up, but oh, was that a mistake. suddenly, you legs started shaking. the lights suddenly seemed to dim down and black spots were popping up in your vision. maaaaybe you should sit back down. wait. where is "back down"? it suddenly occurred to you that at this point, you couldn't see anything.
beginning to panic, you started reaching out to find something to hold onto, thankfully finding the stair railing of the bleachers in your grasp. slowly, you blindly fumbled your way down the steps of what you hoped were the bleachers steps.
you heard someone shout something along the lines of, "you good?"
you were far too panicked and far too focused to give a reply. don't fall down. don't fall down. don't faint. don't pass out. you chanted in your head like a mantra.
you heard the squeak of shoes against the ground and voices talking back and forth around you when suddenly a steady hand grabbed ahold of you just above your elbow.
guess that was all you needed before your consciousness flickered, then extinguished.
-
"....cold like ice...."
"...pale as hell...."
you could only hear snippets of sentences, and your eyelids felt heavy.
"....have something....with sugar, preferably...."
when you finally opened your eyes, you were no longer in the gym, but in inarizaki's nurse's office.
"hey..."
you turned, now noticing the other occupant of the otherwise empty room.
"'samu... did I faint again?"
his eyebrows rose. "again? like, you've done this before?"
"yeah. happens a lot. 's fine though. was a little scary back there for a minute, though."
"damn, I'll say. I've never seen someone so pale. and sweaty. and that's saying something, cuz post-practice 'tsumu is disgustingly moist."
"'samu, I love you, but never say that fucking word again."
"what, moist?"
you cringed, grabbing at your ears, "ugh, yes! I'm already dying here and now you're nailing the final mark in the coffin."
osamu gave his signature half-smile. "I thought you said you were fine?"
you scoffed, "that was just to make you feel better. I'm gonna need lots of cuddles tonight to wave off my near-death experience."
he let out a light-hearted laugh. "okay. plenty of that for you regardless of whether you're on death's door or not." he said, giving you a small peck.
you pursed your lips. "I need you right now, though."
his face split in a full grin as he slid next to you on the small bed. "anything for you darlin'."
✿ oikawa toru
"please... please be okay..."
you had been enjoying your regular weekday study session. it always went as follows: meet up after class, head off to aoba johsai's library, study (and perhaps get slightly off-topic over some vending machine snacks and drinks), and at last, go to volleyball practice (perks of being a manager!).
"ok, ok, we should probably finally look at what we're supposed to know for our next english exam," oikawa said, still in between chuckles.
"but toru... i can't go on without a drink..." you clutched your throat dramatically. "must... have.... beverage.... dying of.... thirst!"
oikawa laughed again, "geez, fine!" he said, attempting to sound annoyed by your request (and failing miserably). "I'll go grab us something to drink. on me." he winked.
"wow. what a gentleman. you really spare no expense, spoiling me with luxurious drinks from the beverage box of wonders! oh how lucky I am to have such a supportive boyfriend..." you leaned back on your chair, drying a fake tear of gratitude, while simultaneously stifling a giggle.
"damn, ok. fork out the yen, then, babe."
"nooooo~~~ I was kidding! I'm sorry you're the best ever in the whole wide world~~~ my little piglet oinkawa~"
"ok now you're paying for my drink too."
"I'm sorry!!!! I won't call you oinkawa ever again."
"thank you-"
"to your face."
after at least 15 minutes of more bickering (and no studying) oikawa was off to the so-called beverage box of wonders, also known as a shitty-ass vending machine that was probably last refurbished in the '90s.
oikawa was still laughing to himself as he rounded the corner to the library, drinks in his arms.
"hey babe, are you finally studying?" he smirked, finally nearing your small alcoved study area.
-
thud, thud.
the long-forgotten drinks fell to the floor as oikawa rushed over to you. there you convulsed on the ground, your eyes white and pupil-less, and your mouth foaming, turning a slight twinge of pink. you let out small grunts, completely unresponsive.
"oh my god, oh my god, hey, hey listen to me." oikawa was already in full-fledged panic mode, tapping your face with his hand.
"oh my god, SOME PLEASE HELP HER!"
the few left in the library looked over at oikawa, then at you, before beginning to run about. one was on their phone speaking to a 911 operator, another rushed out of the room. one kneeled alongside oikawa, checking helplessly for a pulse.
"protect her head." a girl read out from her phone.
oikawa immediately shed his jacket, placing it under your head which was hitting the ground rapidly to the incongruent rhythm of your convulsions.
"check her bag, does she have any meds?"
"SHE'S MY FUCKING GIRLFRIEND I THINK I'D KNOW IF SHE HAD MEDS!" oikawa shouted. he didn't mean to snap, but he felt so useless. were you hiding this from him? how did he not know you had seizures? were they always this bad?
despite what he'd told the unnamed student, oikawa, jumped up, grabbing your bag and nearly ripping the zipper with the force he'd opened it with. no medication.
"no meds." he said, quieter this time.
a hand rested on his shoulder. "it's gonna be okay, man. look, she stopped."
oikawa whipped his head over to you, chastising himself for removing his eyes from you for even a second.
you were still breathing, but it was like you were in a deep slumber. by the time the EMTs arrived, however, you'd begun blinking your eyes lazily at your surroundings.
-
"hey oikawa." you said, smiling.
oikawa said nothing in return, his head in his hands.
you sat there for a moment, taking in your surroundings.
"wait a minute, where am i?" you felt a tickling inside your nose. at the touch of your hand, you realized you had a breathing tube hooked up you. another glance around the sterile hospital room showed your heart rate monitor and other cords wrapped up around the hospital bed.
you laughed, "...and what's all this stuff on me?"
"you had a seizure." oikawa said sharply, though not unkind.
you stared at him once more in disbelief. "...really?"
"yeah. I came back from getting our drinks when...when I found you lying on the ground, shaking. the doctor says you bit your tongue, which explains why the foam that was coming out of your mouth was pink. they want to do an MRI on you."
"oh." you gazed down, then met his eyes again. "you... had to deal with that all by yourself?"
"other people in the library helped me... though I don't think I was the nicest guy to be around. its sort of all of a blur."
you smiled, "for me, too. I can barely remember what we were talking about before I woke up."
oikawa's eyes widened, "really?"
"yeah... but I think I'll be okay, as long as you're here."
"this hasn't happened before, has it?"
"no, not really. I mean, I've always gotten light-headed easily, which is sort of how I felt before I, ya know... went down... but never like that. I don't think. then again, if I wasn't here in a hospital bed, I think I would've just thought I fell asleep or something. it just feels like I took a long nap. still kind of tired, honestly."
oikawa shook his head. "I'm never letting you out of my sight ever again."
"oikawa, seriously. it's gonna be okay. I'm fine. nothing bad happened, right? I didn't die."
"BUT YOU COULD'VE!" he shouted. "...you could've.." he said again in a whisper.
suddenly, he got up. leaning over the hospital bed, he pressed his lips to your temple, leaving a soft kiss in its wake. "I just... I don't want to see you suffering. I don't want you to get hurt."
"but you were there."
"but what if I wasn't?"
"but you were."
you slid your hand over his own. "oikawa, it's gonna be okay, I promise. I'm a little scared, too, but... I know we'll figure something out, okay?"
he let out a mix between a sigh and a laugh, "why does it feel like I was the one who had the seizure? some boyfriend I am, making you feel worse."
"oikawa shush." you placed you index finger over his lips. "you're not allowed to talk about yourself in that way in my presence."
he rolled his eyes, but his dimples popped out in a wary smile. "you're amazing, you know that?"
you imitated deep-thought, your finger on your chin. "hmm... no, doesn't ring a bell."
a full grin bloomed across his face now. "then I'll spend the rest of my life reminding you."
a/n: romanticize the source of your medical bills girlies 💕 it works wonders
#kuroo imagine#kuroo headcanons#haikyuu kuroo#kuroo x reader#kuroo tetsuro x reader#kuroo testuro#kuroo tetsurou#oikawa scenarios#oikawa x reader#hq oikawa#oikawa tōru#oikawa toru#oikawa toru x reader#hq osamu#miya osamu x reader#haikyuu osamu#osamu miya x reader#osamu x reader#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines#haikyuu headcanons#haikyuu x reader#haikyū!!
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my suffering is profound and legitimate, yours is frivolous nonsense
Just reading a blogger I like but I had to laugh because she was talking about how beauty practices are bad for women's mental health, and she left a note saying "unlike gender affirming care! gender affirming care improves people's mental health and it's nothing at all like cosmetic practices."
TIL, when an older woman gets botox to remove her wrinkles and avoid facing the inevitability of decline and death, her problem is spiritual/structural and she needs to Do The Work to deprogram her ageism, unlike people with dysphoria, who of course have legitimate claims to cosmetic alteration.
And it is cosmetic - no part of the body that is altered by HRT or SRS or any of the feminization/masculinization surgeries is failing to function or functioning poorly. The problem is with the brain, which perceives the body parts as foreign or undesirable. We may sympathize with someone struggling with such a condition, but that does not change that the body parts being altered were already healthy and the alterations are cosmetic, and the relief being brought about is mental.
But plenty of trans people openly admit that separating body dysmorphia and gender dysphoria is a losing game. Contrapoints's video on "Beauty" (transcript) has the observation that she feels least dysphoric when she is meeting feminine beauty norms:
But I also think that trans people often talk like gender dysphoria is this intrinsic, personal experience that's always 100% valid and never has anything at all to do with the external pressure of beauty standards. But in fact, gender dysphoria is not sealed away in a vacuum away from the influence of societal ideals and norms.
[...] When I try to psychoanalyze myself, I find that my desires to look female, to look feminine, and to look beautiful are not exactly the same, but they're woven together so tightly that it's kind of difficult to untangle them. And the opposite is also true, that for me feeling mannish or dysphoric usually goes along with feeling ugly. I don't have a lot of days where I walk out the house thinking "well, I'm giving femme queen realness, but apart from that I look like absolute shit".
Max Robinson's book "Detransition," from an FTM perspective, points out how the prospective trans man views his suffering as unique from and distinct from women's, even as the surgeries they seek are not especially different:
The stereotypical cosmetic surgery patient is seeking to become closer to being perfectly feminine - she wants to be beautiful. Transitional cosmetic surgery, on the other hand, is widely understood to mark the patient as ex-female and therefore unfemale; this is part of the meaning FTMs seek to create through surgery. FTM desire for cosmetic surgery is positioned as something totally different than the stereotype of a woman who 'merely' seeks beauty at her frivolous leisure. FTMs are deemed to have a rare affliction that needs urgent, life-saving treatment. Conversely, there is nothing more common than for a woman to become obsessed with her socially-deemed 'unsatisfactory' looks and desperately seek to change them, believing that such a change is the only thing that can restore her quality of life.
This comparison will feel like an insult to the FTM. It will feel that way because we believe other women's suffering doesn't matter, and recognize how much ours does. Women's suffering is ordinary but ours is extraordinary. For us to matter, we must be differentiated from the silly little woman who wants to be pretty so badly she'll pay thousands of dollars (now billable to credit cards and loan programs designed to pay for elective surgeries!) to risk her life and health. These women don't need to be fixed; we do. FTMs know that we don't deserve a woman's fate but have not yet realized that no woman does.
I have more to write on the topic of the relationship between gender identity and beauty culture, but I'll end this one here. It makes sense that somebody who is identified with the opposite sex would also be affected by the standards of beauty expected of that sex. (Non-binary identification is more complicated and requires separate treatment.)
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track 001. right where you left me
─── ❝ break-ups happen every day, you don't have to lose it ❞ ───
series masterlist // next
liked by louis_graham, isabellaperez, babs.rodriguez and others
dulceperez it's hell week and i'm struggling to cope
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isabellaperez never have i ever been more grateful for online school
↳ dulceperez we get it you travel for funsies and i get stuck with crippling student dept.
↳ isabellaperez what fucking debt? tio checo said he'd pay for your schooling!
↳ dulceperez alright then, i get the crippling student anxiety.
maejones you got this baby!
↳ dulceperez i really don’t! tell max to send the red bull i’m going to need it, i know you two are still besties!!
↳ maxverstappen1 did checo cut you off again?
↳ dulceperez YES!! SEND HELP!! SOS!!
louis_graham still can’t get over the fact that you know f1 drivers.
↳ dulceperez my uncle is an f1 driver?
↳ babs.rodriguez forget it lou, she won’t understand. she probably grew up around michael schumacher or something.
↳ isabellaperez well, you’re not wrong
mickschumacher if you die can i keep your couch?
↳ dulceperez what the fuck schumacher?
↳ mickschumacher it’s a very comfortable couch.
↳ freyavettel he’s right, it’s very comfortable. i’ve had some great fucking naps on it.
louis graham so the f1 drivers in your comments are just normal?
dulce perez pretty much, yeah
dulce perez we live in monaco, you're telling me you've never ran into like lewis or charles? hell nico lives in monaco.
barbara rodriguez never.
louis graham nope.
dulce perez huh, it's not like monaco's that big. i run into my ex all the time. granted he's like best friends with my sister.
barbara rodriguez who the fuck is your ex? and why is your sister best friends with him?
dulce perez because she can be? i'm not going to tell her "oh no isa, you can't be friends with arthur because we broke up."
dulce perez they were friends way before we dated.
louis graham so his name is arthur? interesting, one look at your sister's instagram tells me that you dated the one and only arthur leclerc.
barbara rodriguez a leclerc? you dated a leclerc? and you let him get away?
dulce perez look, he was busy with racing and i was busy with school. it wasn't going to work out between us so we just broke up.
louis graham interesting how you two still follow each other.
dulce perez we're still friends. that wasn't going to change because we dated.
barbara rodriguez 9 times out of 10, people fall in love all over again.
dulce perez not me. i won't.
dulceperez posted new stories
low quality picture, high quality girl or some fucking corny shit like that.
who the fuck gave this guy alcohol?
arthur leclerc does she have a boyfriend? who is he?
mae jones what is this nerd going on about?
isabella perez is this about my sister?
arthur leclerc forget i asked.
isabella perez so it is about my sister.
mick schumacher is this about the guy on her story?
isabella perez that's just louis. one of her roomates. remember arthur? they became friends when she started school.
arthur leclerc oh. yes. i remember.
freya vettel oh he's totally still in love with her.
lando norris honestly arthur just tell her. get it over with.
bailey winters i doubt you should be giving people advice.
lando norris oh seriously! we get it, i fucked up!
isabella perez oh you royally fucked up norris.
lando norris oh be quiet isabella, how many times have you broken up with austin by now?
isabella perez my relationship has nothing to do with this! focus on arthur and my sister!
mick schumacher i can't believe i'm saying this, but how are freya and i the only ones that are mentally healthy??
isabella perez because arthur is stupid. mae is in denial about her feelings. i'm codependent. lando is a dumbass. bailey is collateral damage to lando's dumbassery. AND YOU'RE IN FUCKING DENIAL!! SO IS FREYA!!
freya vettel wow. can't wait for the day all of you are mentally healthy and in healthy relationships.
mae jones at this rate isabella's doomed to divorcing and remarrying austin like 7 times.
isabella perez literally fuck you. stop writing songs about max!
bailey winters you're all insane.
arthur leclerc you are too bailey.
mae jones don't worry arthur. i know how to figure out if you'll be seeing her soon
arthur leclerc oh no. that's not good.
mae jones odds of seeing dulce at the monaco gp this year?
dulce perez that depends am i allowed to take my emotional support idiots?
isabella perez i thought i was your emotional support idiot?
max verstappen ooh she's been replaced.
esteban ocon i think we're better off asking what are the odds charles finishes the race.
charles leclerc this is why you've never won a race bitch.
daniel ricciardo who the fuck are her emotional support idiots?
dulce perez my roomates
lando norris BOOO!! WE'RE YOUR EMOTIONAL SUPPORT IDIOTS!!
lewis hamilton you may be an idiot but i am not.
mae jones we're her emotional support chaos gremlins
natalia ruiz that makes more sense.
max verstappen you should ask checo if you can bring your friends, not us.
dulce perez i did. he said yes. see all of you back in monaco.
dulce perez i just have to ask them.
dulce perez thoughts on attending the monaco grand prix?
barbara rodriguez on my bucket list but currently too broke.
louis graham also on my bucket list but without means of going.
dulce perez i feel like we're forgetting that my uncle is literally an f1 driver??
louis graham SHUT THE FUCK UP!! TELL ME YOU DIDN'T?!!
barbara rodriguez NO FUCKING WAY!! I KNEW GOING TO SCHOOL IN MONACO WOULD PAY OFF!!
dulce perez wow. way to use me.
louis graham listen, we love you. you're great. but attending the monaco grand prix is such a dream.
barbara rodriguez I GET TO MEET SIR LEWIS HAMILTON!! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH THIS MEANS TO ME!!
dulce perez we're going to support red bull not mercedes.
barbara rodriguez yeah but red bull doesn't have lewis hamilton does it?
louis graham personally, i will be supporting aston martin. wherever sebastian vettel is that is where i am.
dulce perez traitors both of you.
barbara rodriguez ARTHUR IS LITERALLY A FERRARI ACADEMY DRIVER! SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE BIGGEST TRAITOR OF ALL!!
dulce perez WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT?
louis graham we went stalker mode. we had to find out everything about leclerc.
barbara rodriguez he's a cutie. why the hell did you dump him?
dulce perez we are not talking about this.
louis graham BOOO!! AS THE CHILDREN SAY, SPILL THE TEA SIS!!
dulce perez no!
babs.rodriguez, louis_graham, dulceperez posted new stories
who let me be here?? where is lewis hamilton??
holy shit!!
VAMOS TIO CHECO!!
pierre gasly soo...dulce
dulce perez before you ask no.
pierre gasly like not even a little bit?
rowan todd why must you ask this, you idiot?
pierre gasly i'm an instigator
dulce perez the answer is no because he has a girlfriend, you moron.
charles leclerc but if he didn't have a girlfriend?
dulce perez you too?
charles leclerc ANSWER THE QUESTION PEREZ!
dulce perez no. not my type.
isabella perez ARTHUR! WHO WAS THE CUTE GUY ON THE PODIUM?! THE PREMA GUY!!
max verstappen SHE'S GOT A CRUSH!
arthur leclerc oscar?
isabella perez brb gonna go stalk his instagram.
freya vettel anyone is better than a*stin
arthur leclerc trust me when i say he's 100 times better than that guy.
mae jones WAIT! WHO'S YOUR TYPE DULCE??!
natalia ruiz perhaps monégasque? rhymes with shmarthur?
dulce perez you people are insufferable.
daniel ricciardo THAT WASN'T A NO!
mick schumacher arthur just probably let out the biggest sigh of his life.
arthur leclerc at least i'm not in denial about my feelings.
mick schumacher HEY! WE'RE NOT TALKING ABOUT ME! AND YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH LECLERC!!
sebastian vettel i should consider retirement. that would mean i wouldn't have to deal with this.
fernando alonso i retired and they didn't let me leave. there is no hope for us.
lewis hamilton i told you that your biggest mistake would be showing weakness to max.
max verstappen YOU'RE THE ONE WHO COMFORTED ME FIRST! NOT SEB!
lewis hamilton oh sure, i was just supposed to leave a kid out, crying in the rain because his girlfriend had just broken up with him?
mae jones sorry, what?
daphne jones idiots, all of you
esteban ocon how's that hidden relationship going for you daphne?
daniel ricciardo it's not our fault they haven't figured it out yet, now is it?
lewis hamilton and i'm currently in the lead to win this bet so zip it ocon.
isabella perez GUYS! CUTE PREMA GUY IS SINGLE!!
lance stroll at least one thing is still normal around here.
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¡leclerc-s speaks!
and thus it begins! okay, listen, i love ross, for story purposes he younger than he actually is. idc what anyone says. i don't if i like this 100% but i'm still posting it.
¡disclaimer!
this is in no way making assumptions about the people involved in this story, this is all fake. it is a fanfiction please don't take any of what is said seriously. this is all for entertainment purposes and as a creative outlet for me. enjoy!
#leclerc-s#the honest series#arthur leclerc#arthur leclerc x female oc#formula 1#formula 1 fic#fanfic#fanfiction#f1#f1 smau#f1 social media au#f1 fic
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