#I'm really learning so much here about how Im here because I recognize I have patterns of behavior that I can't find the root cause of
Text
I loved you too.
Pairings: Natasha x R
Warnings: angst, breakup
Words:600
This is very different from what I normally write but it's very angsty so I thought I'd share. This is just a text conversation inspired by the "peeled orange" story on TikTok.
2020
Me:
Hi.
Natasha:
Hi.
Me:
How are you, Natasha?
Natasha:
I'm good. Surprised. I wasn't expecting to hear from you again.
Me:
Sorry.
Natasha:
Don't be.
How are you? Are you okay?
Me:
Trying to be.
Natasha:
I'm sorry.
Me:
Why?
Natasha:
You're trying to be, but you aren't. I'm sorry.
Me:
That's okay.
Natasha:
Was there a particular reason you reached out?
Me:
Yeah actually.
I just wanted to tell you that I got the job.
I'm moving to Berlin next month.
Natasha:
That's incredible Y/n! I'm proud of you
Me:
Thank you. I don't think I would have been able to do it without you.
Natasha:
I doubt that's true. You have talent.
Me:
thanks.
Natasha:
your welcome.
Me:
I still wouldn't have been able to do it without you.
Do you remember when I first got the call for the job?
Natasha:
Yeah I do. We were in the living room watching Elf.
Me:
And I nearly didn't answer the phone because I didn't recognize the number.
You were the one to tell me to answer it anyways.
Natasha:
That's true.
You cried so hard afterwards.
Me:
I did.
Natasha:
I don't think I ever ended up seeing the ending of that movie.
Me:
Sorry.
Natasha:
That's okay. I'll watch it again.
Me:
Natasha?
Natasha:
Yeah?
Me:
How's Yelena?
Natasha:
She's okay. She misses you around here.
Me:
I miss her too.
Natasha:
I think we all miss you.
Me:
Yeah.. I miss everyone too.
Natasha:
Yeah.
Me:
I miss being cared for.
Natasha:
You are cared for.
Me:
By who?
Natasha:
By your family, by the team, by friends.
Me:
But no by you.
Natasha:
That's not true.
I care for you very much. I love you Y/n, im just not in love with you anymore.
Me:
Oh..
I still care for you too.
Natasha:
I know.
Me:
Do you think I'll be loved again?
Natasha:
Of course you will be Y/n. You're young you have so much time to be loved. I promise.
Me:
When you left everything changed so much.
Natasha:
How so?
Me:
A lot happened with the family.
Inge died.
Im sorry i didn't tell you sooner.
I've been struggling with that a lot.
Natasha:
Im so sorry Y/n
Me:
Me too.
Natasha:
I wish I had been there for you. Im so sorry I wasn't.
Me:
It's okay
I've also learned that I have very little control so the things i don't have control over I can't worry about it. I can only worry about the things a do have control of.
Natasha:
That's very true
Me:
For such a long time I thought it wasn't real.
Natasha:
What wasn't real?
Me:
Us. Love. I don't know.
Natasha:
It was real Y/n. And love still is. I know because you are full of it.
I also think kindness is real because you are kind. Good people exist, and one day one of those good people will love you for all of your worth, remember that Y/n.
Me:
You're still always understanding
Natasha:
I try to be.
Me:
Thank you for responding Natasha.
Natasha:
You're welcome.
But Y/n you can't text me again. It'll only hurt.
Me:
Okay...
I love you Natasha.
Natasha:
I loved you too
———
2021
Me:
I miss you
———
2021
Me:
I saw you on the news today, you look different, good. But different.
———
2022
Me:
I know you said to stop messaging you. I’m trying.
———
2022
*missed call*
*missed call*
Me:
I really loved you.
I Hope you find happiness.
I know you’ll do great things.
But It’s time for me to let you go Natasha.
I can’t keep doing this to myself
I have to let you go.
———
2023
Natasha:
I miss you so much.
I wish I still had you.
I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed me the most.
I love you.
I’m so sorry if you ever doubted that.
———
#natasha romanoff#natasha x y/n#angst#black widow#marvel#mcu x reader#natasha romanoff angst#natasha romanoff fluff#natasha romanov#natasha x you#fanfic#text#text convo#sad thoughts#black widow angst#scarlett ingrid johansson#scarlett johansson x reader#hurt/comfort
169 notes
·
View notes
Text
AC: :33 < sorry to bother you again!
AC: :33 < is
AC: :33 < um [...]
AC: :33 < he available? [...]
TT: What is the name of this mystery fellow you seek?
AC: :33 < aaaaa youre just teasing me now!
AC: :33 < i f33l bad about bugging you about it [...]
AC: :33 < i miss pounce a lot :((
AC: :33 < and talking to him reminds me of her
Aw, Nepeta. :(
Still, there are ways to solve this. Maybe Rose could give her the code for Jaspersprite's pendant - or just give him his own computer, like Davesprite's iShades.
You won't need it anymore. It served you well. You suppose there are a lot of things you've outgrown, now that you think about it.
...his own computer, Rose! I said his own computer!
Rose is abandoning her primary communication device. Obviously she has others, but her attitude here is still making me nervous - especially considering how heavy-handed her phrasing is.
Who or what do you think you've outgrown, Rose?
JASPERSPRITE: Did you learn to play the rain rose?
ROSE: Not yet, Jaspers.
ROSE: It's a little complicated, but I believe I've embarked on another quest, one which surpasses the scope of the objectives local to this planet.
I'm on record as being fully on board with Rose's skepticism about her Quest - but she should be equally skeptical about her new quest. Both are sponsored by suspicious entities with unclear motives, and I'm not sold on either of them.
ROSE: I'm saying there's something more important to accomplish now. Something more important than creating a universe.
JASPERSPRITE: Oh thats ok rose i wouldnt want you to feel obligated to do that.
That's a strange sentiment, coming from Jaspers. Sprites generally echo the game's expectations for its Players, so it's odd that a game centered around fate, destiny and temporal obligation would tell Rose that her ultimate goal is optional. After all, she was made to create a universe.
Maybe Jaspers just loves Rose so much that he's on board with her rebellion, even though he doesn't understand it.
JASPERSPRITE: I think that winning this game and getting the prize is up to you and your friends.
JASPERSPRITE: You get to decide whether or not you feel its right to do that and what kind of prize you want to make!
Is Jaspers implying that Sburb's prize doesn't have to be a universe? That winning the game can mean something else, instead?
Rose thinks her only options are to submit to the game's whims, or fight it tooth and nail. Perhaps that's a false dichotomy, and it's possible to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum - some sort of alternate win condition that saves their doomed session.
Perhaps the game has recognized that Rose is a renegade, and it's trying to show her that things aren't so black and white. Maybe Sburb is signaling that it's willing to negotiate.
JASPERSPRITE: Its part of becoming who youre supposed to become i think.
Damn it! Just as I'm starting to wonder if Sburb is more flexible than we thought, it tosses this line at us.
I don't like this sentiment. It stinks of Alpha, and it's exactly the kind of thing that will piss Rose off. She's rebelling against what she perceives to be her destiny - the last thing she wants to hear is that there's someone she's 'supposed' to become.
JASPERSPRITE: I dont know i hope im not being too pushy rose its not my place to be im just your cat!
JASPERSPRITE: But the thing that made me how i am now seems to really want me to say this to you.
JASPERSPRITE: Your quest is really important for you to do.
JASPERSPRITE: Not really because thats how to get the prize.
JASPERSPRITE: But because its what you need to do for yourself!
This isn't about the universe, says Sburb.
This is totally bizarre. I thought it was all about the universe, and the game's Players were just the mechanism for creating them. Even the Quests are just extended tutorials on how to terraform planets.
Do the Players have another role to play?
JASPERSPRITE: I love you rose! I always have even when you were a little girl and i was an alive cat.
ROSE: Thanks, Jaspers, that's nice to hear.
ROSE: It's hard to remember, but I'm pretty sure I felt the same way back then.
JASPERSPRITE: It was fun getting to be your cat again rose even if it was just for a little while and also while being a princess ghost.
JASPERSPRITE: Bye rose!
ROSE: See you, Jaspers!
ROSE: If you see my mother in the course of your travels, tell her I said hello.
Alright, let's hit the pause button on the lore speculation. I need to grab some tissues :'(
164 notes
·
View notes
Text
~ Yandere Dottore x Reader - No Escape
Content warnings - Yandere themes, kidnapping, laced beverage
i don't show off my fanfics a lot but i do hope u enjoy this one. i don't condone this type of behavior at all. n stay safe ♥︎
requests for fanfics are open so send them in if u would like
He was someone who messed with things a lot. He studied and studied hard throughout high school up until college. He wanted to be a doctor.
He felt as if his emotion wasn't really there. The only thing he cared about was himself, he was downright selfish and everyone knew it. He only cared about his dream job.
He didn't want to become a doctor because it was to help others. No, he wanted to become one because he knew he was going to see blood, part of him wanted to make sure any procedures and surgeries went completely wrong.
Because part of him didn't care. He wanted to see others suffer. The thrill of hurting and murdering others is the only thing he felt any pride or happiness for.
Other than that, he was completely numb. Until one day, a girl finally decided to join the college that he went to. She had her own interests and things she liked. Once he laid his eyes on her, he felt something completely different.
Something he never felt before, butterflies in his stomach, his heart felt like it flew right out of his chest, he finally felt.. emotion for someone. He didn't know if it was love, or a miracle.
All he knew was that if this was how he felt for her. He would hold onto her for dear life and make her his. She belonged to him, and she didn't have a choice.
He stalked her as much as he could. Finding out her secrets, her likes and dislikes, her name, her birthday, every little detail possible, he learned it.
He was apart of a chemistry class, he learned about chemicals left and right, combinations and what they could do. He conjured up a liquid that he could put into a drink of hers to make her very sleepy.
He was in a few classes with her. It was the last period and everyone was preparing to leave to go do their own things. The girl he loved and adored was only preparing to go back to her dorm alone while her roommate was out doing their own thing.
While she and the other students were nice and distracted and most of them were gone along with the instructor, he opens the vile and spills a little into her bottle, the liquid going down the straw into the drink.
He pretended like he was doing something. She was still putting her belongings away while writing further notes down. He admired her for her hard work and determination in the class.
She finally put the stuff away into her bag and took a drink out of her bottle quenching her thirst. She put her hand on her head feeling a little drowsy. And then as soon as she falls.
He grabs her, "I got you, don't worry, darling," He says softly with an evil grin plastered on his face.
~
⋄⊱ Your POV ⊰⋄
My eyes slowly flutter open. Feeling something tight around my wrists, I struggle. I look around seeing i'm in a bedroom, Im laying on a soft bed but my ankles and wrists are tied to the ends of each side.
I struggle more until someone opens the door, "Oh, you're awake, I've been waiting for you to wake up," He says smiling.
I recognized him, he's my classmate, Dottore. But why? Why does he have me like this?
I try to speak but realize my mouth is duct taped shut, "Oh, you wanna speak, dear, well if I remove the tape, you have to promise you won't scream," He says softly.
I nod my head in agreement. He then grabs the tape and rips it off slowly, making it barely hurting that much.
"There, what did you want to say?" His eyes looked like they were filled with lust, I speak out softly and quietly, "Why am I here?"
"Because your mine, all mine.. mine, mine mine mine mine," He starts to laugh, "Now that I have you here with me, I just want to say, I love you so much."
"I-I-I'm yours..?" I question. His eyes filled with something no one has ever seen as much on his face. He looked upset, "Yes, you're mine, and if you have a problem with that then-"
I cut him off, "I don't, I love you too, Dottore," I say to him. His eyes brightened and a smile grew on his face.
"Hearing that fills my heart with joy, I'm so glad, I've been waiting for this moment for so long, ever since I saw you," He smiles.
I struggle in the rope trying to signal it's uncomfortable, "Want me to untie this for you?" He asks softly. Getting close to my face, his lips almost touching mine.
His hand starts roaming from beside my hand and touching my skin going down to my chest, "Y-Yes," I say softly, "Please," He smiles at me untying the ropes from my wrists then to my ankles.
I sit up on the bed, watching his every move. Afraid of what he might do, I need to get out of here. I need to go get help.
He paced back and forth and then he sits down, "Where are we at, Dottore?" I ask.
"A house that I was able to buy, it's in the middle of nowhere practically. It's quite big, it's a nice house though," He says sighing and then grinning at me.
"I suppose you didn't bring any clothes of mine with you?" I ask him.
"No, I didn't think about it, but you can use a shirt of mine, it'll look like a dress on you," I nod my head in agreement to the idea.
Anything to bide me time. I just need to figure out a way to get out of here.
"Is it okay if I go shower? I just feel gross after school you know?" I ask politely. He nods his head, "Of course, I'll get one of my shirts for you to wear when you get out.
"Okay, thank you," I smile softly at him.
He gets up and walks over to a closet in the room, he slides a door open and grabs out a white collared shirt. It looked like something professional. It looked like it would cover a lot. He hands it to me and I grab it from him.
"I shouldn't be too long," I say to him, "Oh dear Y/N, the bathroom is down the hall to your left," I nod my head at him and then exit going in the direction he told me. I looked around slightly and found the stairs.
The front door is right down the steps. I can see it but would he hear me? I put the shirt on the counter and then exit the bathroom silently, closing the bathroom door to make it seem like I'm in there. I then tip toe down the stairs silently and softly.
I walk towards the door and grab a hold of the handle opening it up, "Where do you think your going?" I hear a stern voice behind me and then I get grabbed. Arms wrapped around me and a hand over my mouth. I struggle to get out of his embrace.
"Thought I warned you, didn't I," He says, his voice completely cold and void of any emotion. I then bite his hand and he lets go of me. I made a run for it.
Going through a corridor, and turning lefts and rights randomly. I can hear him behind me. I start to lose focus and trip over something.
I try to get up but get kicked to the ground, I wince in pain, "You were suppose to be a good girl and listen to me, but you didn't, now you're gonna have to pay the consequences," He says.
"O-Ow, pl-please, don't," I say trying to crawl away but I feel a shoe press down on my back.
He then grabs me by the arms picking me up and swinging me over his back. I fight and struggle back but he has no reaction and doesn't seem to care. He makes his way around the house going downstairs.
I hear hard metal clinking together. Then he takes my wrist wrapping something cold around it, I look over to see a chain and then struggle more.
He takes my other wrist wrapped the chain around it too. I struggle more and more but to no avail it doesn't work.
"I'll keep you here until you can learn to behave properly," His voice cold and stern echoes slightly through the basement.
I don't know how long I'll be stuck here for but I need to escape eventually. I need to build my trust up with him again. I don't know how easy that'll be. 
All I know for certain is, I'll be down here for a while.
#genshin fanfic#genshin headcanons#genshin x reader#dottore#yandere#yandere dottore#yandere genshin imagines#yandere genshin x reader#x reader#fanfic#fatui harbingers#fatui headcanons#genshin x you#genshin imagines#genshin impact
92 notes
·
View notes
Text
Roll for Persuasion
I'm back with more Shaw Mates group chats. And it's still literally nothing but crack. Enjoy!
CW: GN Listener characters (any gendered terms are purely used for the meme and should not be taken seriously), Cursing, Crack, Kind of suggestive because Angel can't stop
<< Previous -- Redacted Masterlist -- Next >>
Summary: Angel needs to be jailed, Baabe is an accomplice, Sweetheart has a masterplan, and Sam is barely surviving in this.
Taglist: @wib-was-here @4letteraroace @moon0o
Angel: i learned smthn togay
Baabe: to gay or not to gay that is the question.
Sweetheart: Is this an actually valuable lesson or do I need to call the morgue to prepare for your body to come in
Angel: ...
Angel: n e wayz
Angel: i learned that daveys bag is in fact not waterproof
Sweetheart: Oh my god what did you do
Baabe: howd you find out?
Angel: i spilled water in it
Baabe: water in his valentino white bag?! WAGAOUWAH
Angel: mm doesnt hit the same
Baabe: no it really doesnt.
Sweetheart: Youre fucked
Angel: ah ha ha chad lip bite
Sam: Put it in the dryer?
Angel: ...
Angel: oh
Baabe: i just banged my ankle.
Angel: oh my god why did u do that
Baabe: IM GONNA CHOKE YOU! IT WASNT ON PURPOSE
Angel: ehrfiuerhfr i just dont know why youd want to fuck your ankle
Baabe: i banged it against a cabinet corner! i bruised it. it hurt. i did not fuck my ankle whats wrong with you?
Angel: must be the lack of oxygen
Sweetheart: I just went through the drivethru like twelve times and left each time because i didnt want to talk to people
Baabe: omg thats so asher coded of you.
Sam: I promise it will be okay. You'll even get food.
Angel: you were comin and goin
Angel: kum and go
Angel: ejaculate and evacuate
Baabe: i hope you know that jesus sleeps in your hair every night.
Sweetheart: Peanut butter is an ointment fight me
Baabe: i want proof.
Sweetheart: Its thick and can be used as a protective coating
Angel: you know what else is thick and can be used as a protective coating
Angel: daveys
Sam: That's enough internet for Angel.
Sam: Lirc?
Sweetheart: If I remember correctly
Sam: What's that?
Baabe: acronym for iirc.
Sam: What's iirc?
Angel: if i remember correctly
Sam: Remember what?
Sweetheart: I am fearing for my life
Sam: Why?
Sweetheart: Im home alone and theres a single slice of cheese on the counter
Sweetheart: Just lying there
Sam: Oh dear?
Sweetheart: I DIDNT PUT THAT THERE AND AGGRO SURE AS HELL DIDNT
Angel: were in your walls
Baabe: feed us the cheese
Baabe: we crave it
Angel: c h e e s e
Angel: what uni did yall go to
Baabe: stanford. worst years of my life
Sweetheart: DAMN
Sam: Same as Sweetheart.
Sam: What about you, Angel?
Angel: i went to ugh
Sam: I don't recognize that acronym.
Baabe: AHHAHAHHAHAHA
Angel: university of giving head
Sam: Goodbye.
Angel: CATSUP BLAST
Sweetheart: This is why we need to destroy capitalism
Baabe: CATSUP BLAST
Sam: What the hell is Catsup Blast?
Angel:
Baabe:
Sweetheart: Unrelated but Im seeing a lot of 6 x Gabriel stuff
Baabe: not surprised.
Sam: Is this that "old man yaoi" Angel keeps talking about?
Angel: KAHFDSGHHJ
Sweetheart: Sometimes self care is watch an hour and a half video about the JFK assassination
Baabe: you might benefit from some therapy.
Sweetheart: Homestuck is for true warriors. Those who have been heartbroken so many time they dont know how to feel or see anymore. Homestuck is for those who have experienced true pain yet still push through knowing no matter how much they face Homestuck is by their side supporting them. Homestuck is the reason for so many differences in the world and is the reason outcasts and popular kids have one thing in common. Homestuck is for those who dont feel emotions as theyve lost the ability to feel them years ago when that flame died out because of childhood issues and now the only thing they have left to bring them the tiniest bit of inspiration is Homestuck. Homestuck is for kids that have no where to turn to, teens who are on the brink of killing off their family, and for adults who have lost complete control of their lives. Homestuck is badass. Homestuck has caused many wars and won all of them, Homestuck has no barriers and does not abide to any man nor woman nor god, homestuck is above god itself. Homestuck doesnt even have a concept of god inside its intellectual brain because it knows its the reason for every good, bad, and neutral thing to happen to mankind and thats what matters. Homestuck could be legally clarified as a bible. Homestuck is for the fainthearted and isnt for the sensitive types or the crybabies. Its for true motherfuckers who know where they are in life and what the fuck theyre doing with themselves. Of course you think its cringe but maybe youre just projecting onto the homestuck because you have never felt such power or control over your own life and need to belittle those who have something greater than power. They have homestuck. Homestuck fans are the type to find your exact location and multiple different closed off social medias because you dont have the same opinion as them. I suggest next time you know your place and keep your mouth shut. Homestuck isnt cringe and isnt for weak nerds like you
Baabe: fuck you im not reading all that.
Angel: all i asked was if you wanted pesto on your pasta or marinara omg calm down
Sam: What is Homestuck?
Baabe: i havent cleaned my kitchen for a month blegh
Sweetheart: If it isnt gross I think youre fine but if it is then clean your damn kitchen
Angel: HOLY SHIT a month??
Baabe: yeah theres twelve of them.
Angel: *leans on expensive buffalo* heyyy
Angel: *bugatti
Baabe: nope youve sealed your fate.
Sweetheart: Im gonna cook your buffalo.
Angel: LEVAE HERBERT ALONE
Sam: I'm done.
#redacted asmr#redacted audio#redacted verse#redacted shaw pack#redacted shaw pack mates#redacted shaw pack mates group chat#redacted sam#redacted angel#redacted sweetheart#redacted baabe#redacted baaabe
65 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hiii I'm enraptured by those Mad Max scene studies you did, and I was wondering if you had any tips/advice to get started doing those? I want to improve my digital art but I'm not really sure how to start
gosh thank you so much!!
well, first i think the most important part about doing these studies is to not get too stressed about the timer (for those, each one was about 20-30 minutes. if you need, add ten more minutes! theres no rules. youre just trying to learn, its chill :]
i set a timer so that im forced to only think about what is important. i cant make tiny details in just 30 minutes, and its no sweat if the study turns out mushy; i didnt even spend an hour, so its not like i spent 4 hours on something i dont like. i personally think studying sounds boring as hell, so it takes a lot of pressure off of 'studying' if im locked in for just 30 minutes and learning what i can, and if im lucky, it might look kinda neat
id say use a brush with some color jitter to capture some of the complexities of color while you paint, and dont worry about color picking. i just dont suggest color picking often because it desaturates what youre working with a lot. however, if youre a beginner, it can help you recognize how much variation there is between colors (and just how much grey is important. wowza!) again, no rules! do what you need to learn and have fun. i personally dont learn at all if im not having fun. pick a subject youre interested in, and see what you can do in 30 minutes! i personally choose movie screencaps because they teach movement, color, value AND framing all in one go.
heres the process of a 30 minute study i made this morning of a scene from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
theres a whole lotta goofy stuff i missed as you can see with it side by side with the reference; thats totally ok because the next time i draw this, ill keep the proportions in mind, and not get hung up on details like the camera and remember highlights like on his forehead or the shape of the bag around his neck. mistakes help us learn! copying is NOT the goal of these; its just to see if i can make it feel like the reference. just remember, youre gonna have a lot of ugly attempts (ill make like, ten of these and maybe 2-3 turn out decipherable). dont get too attached, if it turns out mushy, take a quick laugh and try again. could have spent 30 minutes scrolling and instead you made a lovely color salad! keep going!
if you have any more questions, feel free to ask!
14 notes
·
View notes
Text
80s jesus 'verse disciple headcanons pt. 3 (jesus, judas, jb)
my sincere apologies i know i said i'd bost judas "in a little bit" about. 2 weeks ago. here they are. @ that one anon who asked me about judas, my brain works very slowly, there he is
JESUS
ok starting off jesus is gender wacky. idk what he is i use he/him for him but calling him a man feels off. he's my favorite gender identity which is wack.
being somewhat divine does that to you you don't really care for the labels society has completely made up. ANYWAYS
i don't even know what i'm gonna write for jesus i'm sure you know what kinda guy jesus was.
okay. grew up in nazareth with his parents miriam and yosef and his siblings
(don't ask me why im using the hebrew form of names for the parents but not jesus himself. it's because we have a hundred marys.)
he has three siblings, two sisters and one brother, and he's older than all of them with a pretty big age gap, he was kind of an accidental pregnancy
(or, y'know, the son of god. but who knows ! )
had a relatively normal life compared to everyone else. i guess reparations for how well his life went last time idk.
jesus is also the only one out of them all who has somewhat of a sense that they've all existed together somewhere before ? he doesn't clearly remember any of it, but he did recognize his disciples when he met them.
he also has a lot of nightmares. they're vague, but very painful.
anyways aside from that pretty decent upbringing. he always knew that he wanted to help people as much as he can.
he learned carpentry from his dad and although he did study political science he ended up just running his father's shop.
however of course he also runs his organization ! which i really struggle to pick a main cause for because like it's jesus ? i feel like he'd care about anything that helps people he's just trying to make the world a little better.
idk. i'll think about it.
before he was doing that he was doing a lot of activist and volunteer work alongside his cousin john ! you guys know cousin john !
and therefore already had a lot of peers and a lot of friends who then followed him and supported him. the first being andrew, who was very close with john and was there when there was just talk between the three of them and maybe some more friends about jesus starting his own cause
aside from carpentry, which he obviously likes and is very good at, jesus is actually a little bit of a creative in general.
he just started with woodcarving with his leftover supply for fun and then slowly moved on to clay and occasionally even sculpting.
likes to give stuff shape anyways
cares so much for his whole team and always reminds them to be kind to themselves and take care of themselves however he has not practiced self care a single DAY in his entire LIFE
will overwork himself to exhaustion if someone doesn't physically drag him away. has before.
for an all loving creature he has the emotional intelligence of a doorknob
dgmw he's great. he's kind to everyone and all that. he's understanding.
still has not known what the fuck is going on a day in his entire life. each time any of his friends looks the slightest bit off he comes to the wildest possible conclusion.
most of the time said conclusion being that it's his fault
he might be a tiny bit self-centered. usually not in a positive way towards himself either, it just means he thinks he's the cause of everything bad happening in his life.
feels like the world revolves around him, just in a very pessimistic way
but he's got a lot on his plate can you blame him.
love how i went "yeah he's relatively doing pretty well" and then gave him a bunch of issues lol sorry jesus
JUDAS
welcome, queers, i know you're here for him, here he is
judas is an only child and comes from a very rich family.
his parents own an insurance company and have like a bunch of buildings they're renting.
generational wealth, basically. it's all inherited and they're making a shit ton of money out of nothing it's all already set up.
judas' family is also very religious.
and i know that so far two out of the two times i've said that it means the parents are assholes but i swear it's not like that james and john's parents are also religious it just wasn't relevant.
but yeah judas' parents are, in fact, assholes. judas was very involved at the temple from very early childhood.
which unfortunately led to him being abused by religious officials that he could supposedly trust and grew up with.
especially once he started growing into his teens and came to the realization that he very much Does Not like women.
which his parents didn't love either.
somewhere around that time he started to distance himself from his family, especially once he moved away for university. judas studied political science but halfway through kind of changed career plans and double majored in journalism
which was very demanding but he did it anyways !
in university he meets jesus. jesus is in his third year when he's in his first and helps him out a lot. they're both very politically active too and always meet at protests and charity events etcetcetc so, yeah, they know each other. and sure there's something there but judas is very closed off and they drift apart when jesus graduates.
oh, judas also has depression, he was diagnosed at age ten, his family was very ashamed of that as well.
in his last year of university, he falls out with his parents once and for all.
they already weren't close, judas was very hurt by them and obviously he had a lot of personal issues with them but to him the line came when he found out about a lot of things that were going on behind closed doors in his parents' company, they were scamming a lot of innocent people and also partnering with a lot of . really just scum of the earth kind of people.
judas got rightfully very upset and had absolutely zero reason to keep covering up any of this. so he didn't ! and obviously that was very disastrous for the company.
judas gets disowned. not legally, but his parents cut all ties with him. not that he wasn't going to do that himself anyways.
obviously though as a consequence he suddenly has very very limited money. luckily for him he's currently in a relationship with his guy, isaac, who's very happy to let him move into his apartment. it would benefit him too to share the rent anyways. as it turns out, isaac's not a great guy ! judas himself isn't too well either so they have a very weird very unhealthy very codependent relationship and though they fight a lot it takes judas two years until he finally finds the strength to walk out on him.
judas didn't think that through very well because he doesn't really have anywhere to go. to his luck, guess who he runs into !
it's jesus. of course it's jesus this is the dolokhoded bible where the main character is still jesus, no matter how much i love to talk about james and simon.
jesus is on his way to a meeting with his team and he's like hey why don't you come along. and judas does. and that's it, he meets the whole gang, he ends up rooming with andrew and philip for a while before he gets his own place.
and, y'know. he does, eventually, in an excruciatingly slow process that tests the patience of all of their friends, get together with jesus.
okay i prob have to write this too uhh sad stuff ahead judas attempts once.
he's spiraling and overworking himself and hiding it pretty well. has some petty fight with john that jesus scolds him about and then has another fight with jesus over that and overall it's not going swell.
strangely enough it's john who decides to check on him after that. he has not gotten along with judas a day in his life but he could tell how upset he was and jesus is hurt and also a little petty and isn't gonna go do it himself so he decides he might as well. to his horror he stumbles into. well. yeah
he survives.
he moves in with jesus, john and matthew for a while after that.
(a lot of them are rooming they don't have much money)
goes back to therapy too.
okay sad stuff over. it gets better. he's doing well. gets a job at an independent news page and becomes quite known among his circles for his work too.
JOHN THE BAPTIST
or JB.
he does not baptize anyone. his first name is john baptist. don't ask me the logic of being named after himself when he hasn't existed yet for people to be named after him ok making an au of a defining characteristic of current human society is fucking difficult
jesus' cousin. his mother, elisheba, is miriam's sister. she's a good fifteen years older than her, and was in her fourties the year that both jesus and jb were born so her getting pregnant was a bit of a surprise.
grew up with jesus and they're very close. they studied together and they theorized together and they discussed everything together.
very big on environmental activism. and by consequence very very anti-capitalism. very anti-fast fashion, for multiple reasons. also vegan :).
jb genuinely believes the human race is the universe's biggest abomination and we should just go extinct. he's not wrong.
he doesn't pick favorites (but he does and they're andrew and philip they're his favorites)
philip was sort of his right hand
he's kind of there to encourage all the shit jesus can't if he doesn't want absolute chaos and zero planning. give simon a pat on the back for getting into fights with racists and all that.
generally he's a little more radical that jesus is. they don't agree on everything but they both respect each other's stances.
he's so well read. it's obvious too, they're all educated obviously, but this guy talks and you can tell he knows his shit. it's very impressive.
and not even in the sense of being well informed and reading theory he knows literature he knows art he's so cultured and i don't like using the word cultured because it often brings to mind a very western very white very high class perception of "culture" but that's not what i'm talking about here.
jb calls himself an atheist in a more political sense. he believes that people shouldn't rely on some higher force to give humanity and morality substance and should instead search for meaning inside those things alone, otherwise they won't have the right motivations to be moral and therefore their beliefs will have no strong foundation.
he grew up jewish but his relationship with his faith is very personal to him and stays between him and god. he doesn't care to discuss it with anyone, except maybe jesus a few times.
sort of everyone's go-to person for advice. he's there to talk the stupid out of them.
his mother was a seamstress, and he learned from her. he likes to make a lot of his own clothes.
professionally, however, he's a translator. he speaks hebrew, english, greek, russian and arabic. (also a little bit of french and german. he's not qualified to translate those though) (is constantly in the process of learning more)
he just fixated on different alphabets as a teenager a little too hard.
#bible fandom#dolokhoded bible#took me. EIGHTEEN DAYS approximately.#im doing either matthew and philip or matthew philip And either thomas or nathanael next.#whoever doesnt make it to the next post is banished with thad and little james. my dallas jenkins era.#(i am joking fuck dallas jenkins)
11 notes
·
View notes
Note
HI CAS! 😁 it’s that time of month again… 🎄🎅❄️☃️ are you a christmas music enjoyer? what’s your november reading looked like? what are the final books you’ll read in 2023? any wintery vibes these are all important questions
I always think I've become indifferent to if not completely turned off by christmas music but just last weekend my coffee shop was playing 'christmas (baby please come home)' n I was like hell yeah this song rules...... & one time my crabby hater coworker put on springsteen's 'santa claus is comin to town' for me + that was such a kodak Magic Of Christmas moment for me I was like wait the grinch really does have a soul.... im a sporadic xmas music enjoyer merely by happenstance 🧘♀️ + my november reads were magical!!!
Regarding the Pain of Others by Susan Sontag
wanted to pair this with Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection by Julia Kristeva as a brief little study on representing/projecting and relating to terror but this one was so apt that I thought it'd be best standing alone and allowed to sink in for the month. really interesting/important points about the origins of the 24 hour news cycle + "the CNN effect" + a mass desensitization to the suffering of others, disheartening but necessary things to understand especially now when every feed is so casually interspersed with it. and ofc Sontag is just so graceful with her framing of ideas that I think this is quite an accessible read to those who've never ventured into philosophy/theory
Manila Noir edited by Jessica Hagedorn
MILF (MAN I LOVE FILIPINOS)!!! learning that I maybe love crime fiction? or maybe specifically written by Filipinos bc the Philippines is kinda the perfect place for so many intersections/dissections of class and power and exploitation and all the things that make crime/mystery so juicy to me. the selection here was so strong, I think I ended up shelving something by each of the contributors I could find english translations for. so many women too which rules x10000. also saw that this is part of a series of 'noir' collected works based around a specific area (like SF, Brooklyn, Mumbai, Istanbul, etc) which I think is a super cool concept and I can't wait to track down the others. think this is gonna have to be a noirvember tradition
With my Dog Eyes by Hilda Hilst
read this in one sitting before a wedding so it's admittedly a bit of a blur/I didn't get to sit with it as much as I should have bc Hilst's prose is so dizzying (in a good way!!!) but I've asked for one of her translated works for xmas so I'll defo be giving that one my full + stoic attention 🧘♀️ I can vaguely remember the shape of the story but what most sticks out to me when reflecting is really specific phrases... the gold of your name — an armless embrace of you — sado-slippery I’m sweating and laughing... I'm empty of anything good. Full of the absurd.... just really gorgeous syntax and images and I can see why Hilst + Lispector's styles are compared so often
Live Through This: On Creativity and Self-Destruction edited by Sabrina Chap
admittedly wanted to hate this from the very start with Amanda Palmer's intro ugh like I braced myself for this to be some corny contrived #AngryWomenInArt but I ended up adoring this and hating myself for my initial haterisms.... women in art is actually so real..... really great + diverse selection of artists (I was worried this would be overwhelming white + cis + het but luckily it wasn't!) and it honestly didn't even occur to me to read this as like a guide on how to work through/with creativity, but rather glimpses into other artists' processes and journeys with their own creativity (I initially picked this up for Eileen Myles I think). so personal and honest and inspiring because of that intimacy and honesty. felt good when I recognized some of the other names too, but ofc added a bunch to my TBR as well. made me miss rookiemag and generally a time when feminism didn't seem so glazed in layers of girlboss irony + terfism real bad </3
Smaller and Smaller Circles by F.H. Batacan
MILF PT. 2!!! another Filipino crime fiction win.. I did see the reveal coming the moment the character was introduced but all the build-up made it worth it. I loved that no form of power was safe from criticism—sleazy priests/prominent figures from the church, useless police, sensationalist media, mayors blind to the true needs of their community, the smaller and smaller circles (hehe) of unchecked trauma and abuse, the ways these all tie together to inevitably harm those without a voice or pedestal.. does such a great job shining a light on the hypocrisy and corruption of it all which isn't specific to the Philippines but from the few Filipino works I've read, it really does feel like a reoccurring core theme. with such a vengeance too! watched the movie adaptation last night which cut out a lot of the good/necessary stuff in my opinion but the vibes + casting were spot on so it was just cool to see the gritty world come to life in that way
Near to the Wild Heart by Clarice Lispector
BONK this was everything to me like exactly the kind of writing I've been aching for since I was a teenager........ a similar blissful dizziness that I felt reading Hilst — gorgeous sensual painfully moving prose, it's wild to me that a work of fiction could hold this much introspection, each character's state of mind so crystal clearly expressed you can't help but feel a little lost in it. and this is her first book??? I'm thrilled just thinking about how she could possibly hone her craft in later works, I'm so excited to see for myself. this is a sidebar but I pretty much lost all my steam for creative/fiction writing during the pandemic and randomly pushed myself to get back into it in october and between this + Hilst's book I rly do feel more inspired than ever..,. crazy what some beautiful & dreamy sentences can do to you!!
i DONT want to prematurely toot any horns but I think I may actually reach my original reading goal of 50 books this year? just started the last book (Something Wicked This Way Comes) in the 'dark boyhood' trio I planned with my friend and it's going by super fast (probably because it's a childrens book basically LOL) and then I checked out Nana vol 1 & 2 bc I found out my library randomly has them (despite never having anything else I'm ever looking for... like ok) and I usually whiz through graphic novels. I think I may read Powers of Horror as mentioned earlier to balance out the fiction, and I downloaded a few free books by Palestinian authors from here (free to download til Dec 5th) so I'll choose from one of those.. maybe end the year with some poetry, all of which isn't necessarily wintery but simply reading my lil book w a hot drink is cozy enough <3
15 notes
·
View notes
Note
Okay so I have percolated and here's an idea I keep coming back to: the hijinks potential of blackmailing/fucking with a faceblind detective.
I imagine Lazlo has to be a pretty keen observer of other details to mask his inability to recognize faces, you learn to recognize people by their gait, posture, style, voice etc... then you take that and you slam it together with a guy running a gay bar....
What I'm saying is I'm already writing the fic in my head where Lazlo gets called in to the bar under some contrivance and is just mesmerized by the drag performer, only to find out later it was Lonnie. This happens repeatedly, interspersed with Lazlo giving other artists the cold shoulder bc he assumes its Lonnie fucking with him, and Lonnie going to increasingly drastic measures to conceal his identity and throw Lazlo off. Obviously, because it's funny to see him squirm and definitely no other reason like how it feels when Lazlo is looking at him but not seeing Lonnie and he gets a taste of what it could be like if they were other people :(
AUGHHH THATS PERFECT AU MATERIAL YESSSS the angst potential there.... mmmmmm im absorbing it into my brain. three course meal.
"how it feels when laszlo is looking at him but not seeing lonnie and he gets a taste of what it could be like if they were other people" HIT ME LIKE A TRUCKKKK OUCHHH!!!! lonnie is soooo conflicted about his feelings for laszlo because a) he doesn't want to let his guard down ever for Reasons and b) he knows laszlo fucking hates him and he thinks he's stupid for falling for someone like that so i think if something like that happened it would break him 😭😭
also that's really funny that you'd mention the drag queen thing because lonnie did actually have a brief stint as a drag queen at that bar, but was forced to stop as soon as his family found out and he really misses it :( he's very insecure about his interests so as much as he'd like to go behind his family's back and do it anyway he's very reluctant to. i think once they're close, laszlo probably convinces him to try it again at some point. he really wants lonnie to open up and embrace himself a little more.
6 notes
·
View notes
Note
what do you like most about Juvia? and what's your favorite ship of Juvia (with someone?)
OHHH JUVIA... JUVIA.... I complain a lot about her, especially the way she's written post series 1 😭 I'm not a big fan of her obsession with Gray (& how that's her entire personality now 😨) BUT YEAH shes still one of my favorites;;;;;
It's mainly her idea / concept / potential that i fell in love with, which sadly never got explored much in the series, BUT here's a list of stuff I loved about her canonically in no particular order (+ the ships);
Her backstory and her arc during Phantom Lord. I lovee how her and Gray's fight was resolved, I'm so happy she finally got to see a clear and bright sky after YEARS of thinking she'll never see it because of how awfully she's been treated by people around her for something she couldn't control, I think it was beautiful!!! And she definitely deserved it!!!! I could relate to it a lot too 😭
She LOVES her friends as much as everyone else in FT does, it just doesn't seem like it because of her. Thing. With calling people her "love rival," at least before series 2. ->
The series' first ever unison raid being hers and Lucys??? ICONIC. I'M GOING TO BITE A TABLE. Her self sacrifice to get Cana out of Freed's jutsu shiki??? DEVASTATINGLY SWEET. Getting Gajeel to join her in Fairy Tail because she was worried he wouldn't find / be accepted in any other guild??? ALSO REALLY SWEET, GOD. Her team ups with Lisanna during Tenrou and Alvarez??? VERY CUTE 10/10 WE NEED MORE.
If it isn't obvious enough, she actually does have a really cute and funny character (As long as shes not doing anything relating to Gray for once)!!!! And I love that contrast between her new brighter and more cheery personality and her older, quiter and depressed one. Its really sweet. I love her character arc a lot ok. I love how she actually doesnt like swimming despite her element being water and how shes awful at baking!!!! Go girl!!! Give us nothing!!! I lovee how shes not above doing anything dumb with her friends (Like with Gajeel, especially) shes fun I miss her ☝️
Her design(s) ??? Have you seen her??? She's serving 24/7. A unique silhouette every time too. Phantom Lord fit? A slay, a definitive classic, love the europe-ness of it, really fits her constant rain thing she had going on. The teru teru bozu on her was adorable and sad at the same time. So good she came back to wearing it after Edolas Arc (this was apparently a warning). Her outfit once she joins Fairy Tail??? ADORABLE! THE DRESS WAS UNIQUE!! THE SHORT HAIR WAS A SLAY. I'd say it counts as a 'meaningful hair cut' even when we never got to see her cut it or why she did but narratively it did show that she was starting a new life 🫶 I dont think i need to say much about her fits after Tenrou, they look really good and comfy 😌 And I love her long hair too, not as much as her short hair but its cute how it kinda looks like water, intentional or not. Shes one of the few women in FT who hasn't come down with a nasty case of 'Mashima's Same Face Syndrome Post GMG' but she was still affected by it. Also i love her long boots and furs..
Phantom Lord Juvia was reallyy cool too, before she got a redemption and all. Look at her!!! How powerful and mysterious she seemed!!!! The dark blues / black outfit... the rain following her wherever she goes, how she was one of the strongest people in Phantom, again, the teru teru bozu, her constantly stone cold face, dark eyes, how ominous she was- she was Leaking 'Power' at that point and I kinda miss her intimidating presence :( I love how scary she was and could be sometimes
Her arc with Meredy,,, I dont know how to articulate my thoughts on their fight nor am i confident enough that the stuff im thinking of actually happened / was there (Like her recognizing that Meredys situation was awful, did Juvia even ever learned about her past??) (Been a while since I rewatched/read it, my bad) but the hug did stood out to me. Usually the fights would end with someone or both or more on the floor / ground, regardless of the characters, but this time Juvia just hugs her, and Meredy cries and its just ??? 🥹🥹🥹 AND THEY HUG EVERYTIME THEY SEE EACHOTHER AFTER A LONG TIME TOO AFTER THAT,,, ITS REALLY CUTE... also i think its cool that Mashima changed it so it ended like that because of a flood that happened.
Her magic seems really flexible and awesome, no wonder she was part of the elemental four and an S-class candidate- Girl!! She's weaponizing pressurized water!!! You can't just get hit by them and expect yourself to be okay just because its water!!! She could just drown people soo easily using waterlock or send them back MILES using. That attack I forgot the name of. She could just "disappear" by turning into puddle and reappear and surprise people the same way!!!! You cant attack her using physical objects, it would just phase through her!!!! She can flood entire arenas!!!!! The fact that should apparently control the temperature / heat of the water too!?? Girl!!! Use it more!!!! Hate how it was shown once during phantom but never mentioned again, that would've been so useful. Mashima knew she would've been unstoppable if she was used to her fullest potential so she was nerfed like every other characters whos ever gotten a redemption.
Okay apparently i like her more than I thought. Let's not mention the stalking bit. I think its creepy. But yeah!!! Love her character!!
As for ships, I'm not that picky with ships involving her (Reason being im never sure if i ship them for romantic reasons or if its because i think they wouldve been funny), just make sure it isn't Gray, also I tend to ship her with women more & headcanon that shes a lesbian!
My favorites are obviously luvia (Lucy) and lisvia (Lisanna) or lulivia (POLYCULE‼️‼️) I just think they're neat and like really sweet aauagh. Something about these two girls accepting her almost immediately, how they like talking about love a lot, Lucy & Lisanna teaching her how to bake, the beach trips, the sleepovers would've been legendary..... so would the dates.......... think about it,,, The iconic-ness of the first ever unison raid from luvia.... the Juvia/Lisanna team up during tenrou.... the spite from shipping something against the majority of the fandom,,,,, Come down here into this cellar with me...
I also like ervia a lot, they have a lot of potential!! I wish we got to see them spar 1 on 1, like before tenrou? Also the scene where Erza conforts her after she failed to give the scarf to Gray 🥹🥹??? Cana and Juvia are also funny and they have GREAT chemistry in canon, most tensioned filled Juvia ship ever & im surprised its not right behind Gruvia as the fandoms favorite Juvia ship.
Lyvia also wouldve been cool!!! I love whenever 2 characters are unhealthy and obsessed with one another, and lyvia could've been that had Juvia reciprocated his feelings. Also seems better than gruvia. Lyon doesn't actually stalk her hes just a simp whenever he spots her.
Meredy/Juvia is cute too (AFTER the timeskip) idk they're adorable. I think the FTGKMR card of Meredy wearing Juvia's clothes sold me on this, because lets be honest if she was wearing Lyon's outfit, the whole fandom would've screeched as well 🙄 you've seen their reaction towards Lucy wearing Natsus vest thing, let me have this. But yeah i see it Less as romantic and more just best friends. Not quite mother/daughter or siblings because i never got the chance to think of it that way too much while watching (Thanks to the timeskip immediately after tenrou too)
Aquarius and Juvia would've been neat to see more of, especially when they got along SO WELL during the short amount of time they talked in the celestial spirit realm 😭 This is kinda a joke ship but yeah i do like it :)
Navia and gajuvia are cool too 👍 They're are getting up to no good!!! Again, i see them more as friends than lovers but I see the appeal.
Also heres the meredy card im talking about in case you want to see:
#nillas#asks#Anon#fairy tail#juvia lockser#THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I LOVE JUVIA A LOT I THINK SHES COOL 👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍#anti gruvia#<- filter reasons
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
don’t answer if ur not comfortable but how do u differentiate truly having a harmful paraphilia from intrusive thoughts abt it? im someone who has intrusive thoughts abt 2 out of the big 3 as well as other sexual things that can’t be done morally and i often stress that that means i am a paraphile (ik that’s a broad term but i don’t like specifying which ones yknow).
to my understanding, non offending big 3 paraphiles experience with their attraction seems similar to intrusive thoughts because they cause distress and such, so i guess im wondering abt where the distinction lies? i also find the psychological aspects of sex and sexuality interesting in their own right so beyond my own concern i’d be interested to learn cuz it’s just really fascinating
thanks dude!! :)
No worries at all anon! This is a HUGE SpIn of mine and I'm always happy to provide any perspective, even if I'm not a professional and all that.
The biggest distinguishing factor between an intrusive thought and a regular thought is if it's voluntary, and if the thought is welcomed or wanted. Intrusive thoughts are out of your control and often incite feelings of revulsion, disgust, discomfort, fear, anxiety, or rejection. They are thoughts that you want OUT of your brain as soon as possible. When you talk about paraphilias, the waters can muddy a little.
Paraphilias do not necessitate that the thoughts are unwanted. This may be true of paraphilic disorders, wherein the patient experiences clinically significant distress over their paraphilia (this doesn't necessarily refer to one of the big three!), but it's not inherent. A lot of paraphilic fantasy rejection can come from internalized shame due to outside social stigma and personal morality... but so can intrusive thoughts. There's no clear cut distinction between the two due to how much influence society has over our thoughts and how we respond to them, HOWEVER, you may want to consider looking into something like POCD.
POCD, while not an officially recognized diagnosis, is a subset of OCD that specifically centers around pedophilia. There exists also ZOCD (zoophilia OCD) and NOCD (necrophilia OCD), however POCD is by far the most well-researched out of these. POCD involves obsessive and/or compulsive behaviors regarding proving or disproving if one is a pedophile, such as through intentionally exposing themselves to distressing imagery on purpose or engaging with intrusive thoughts related to children. More often than not, people with POCD don't end up having any paraphilic attractions at all-- they are worried about the concept of being a pedophile and if they'll enact tangible harm, not grappling with actual attraction.
I've struggled with POCD for some time now, but I'm fairly confident in that I don't have any attraction to IRL children. The extent to which I'll engage with my thoughts is in fiction, and even then, it's more of a curiosity as opposed to something that's a consistent turn-on-- which is in direct contrast to my other paraphilias which are much stronger and carry with them less internalized shame, and more externalized fear over being harassed, abandoned, and/or doxxed. I don't experience fear over IF I'll offend, because I'm confident that I won't under my own circumstances. But this is something that can vary from person to person.
Some potentially helpful further reading:
r/OCD also may be potentially helpful! Plenty of people on there have talked about experiencing zoophilic, necrophilic, or pedophilic OCD. Just type one of those words into the search bar and you'll probably find someone who's going through the same thing.
45 notes
·
View notes
Note
Can I ask, how does one go about becoming an editor? Like, where do you apply for jobs?? What kinda training do you do?? Are there companies that hire out editors to writers? Im just so confused about it. Ive always been interested in editing, and am considering doing it as a job
Editing is a weird career.
Really, I started as a writer. Like, when I was eleven. In jr. high and high school, I was in a writing critique group and I wrote a lot. I graduated from university with a degree in theatre, film, and creative writing. I was often the person my friends came to when they needed help with a paper (or the correct placement of a semicolon). I've been involved in fandom since I was about 17, and I was very fortunate to fall in with a group of excellent writers who were also excellent betas and editors. I learned a TON from them without realizing how much I was learning.
I started editing by accident, really. Sometimes, that's how it happens. I mostly got gigs here and there through friends or word of mouth. About ten years ago, I got more serious about it. I worked for companies that paid horribly. Then I did an editing test for a company that paid less horribly, and they hired me. After a couple of years editing countless academic papers, ESL academic papers, novels, emails, business documents, etc., I decided to branch out on my own (mostly so I could work on more fiction; I was burned out on academic papers).
I joined Editors Canada, started volunteering with them, got a lot more experience, and took a few continuing ed courses to gauge where my skills were at and to determine if I needed to upgrade my education. I decided I didn't need to do that, because I already knew the things I was being taught.
I read a lot of books on editing, writing, and craft. I familiarized myself with the Chicago Manual of Style, APA, MLA, and a couple of other style guides. I learned the differences in spelling, punctuation, and style between US, UK, and Canadian English. I went to webinars, conferences, and courses (all the major editing associations offer these, usually cheaper or free for members; they are a great way to determine what kinds of editing you actually LIKE). I learned the difference between rules and preferences, and when to apply them to a text.
I work freelance, which means I have my own business as a sole proprietor. I'm a contractor with a couple of companies who sometimes send work my way, but most of my clients are individual writers planning to either self-publish or polish their work before seeking traditional publication via the agent/tradpub route.
Freelancing has many perks but is not particularly secure. Especially if you're American and need an employer to provide health insurance, or if you're single and don't have another income to lean on when contracts are scarce. These days, most of my work comes via referrals, my website, or the listing I have in the Editors Canada directory. I follow a couple of editing-related Facebook groups; I've learned a lot there, and I've also picked up the occasional client. A couple of people have found me through LinkedIn. A couple of people have found me through here!
I've never worked in-house for a publisher--mostly because having control over how many hours I work and when I work them is my top priority. In-house is a whole different ballgame; I know a bit about it from my peers, but I don't have firsthand experience to pass on. These jobs are supposedly more secure--and they tend to be salaried, with benefits, etc.
"Editing" is a GIANT umbrella term. There are SO many types of editing out there. People tend to think of book publishing first, but that's only one avenue. There are also different kinds of editors who tackle different types of problems. I've done enough of everything to recognize that I am much happier when I'm working on big picture stuff--coaching, developmental editing, manuscript critique. Others specialize in the nitty gritty mechanical details that make proofreading or copy editing a better fit.
Right now, the bulk of my work life is actually spent ghostwriting. The client's business-materials editor posted that his client was looking for someone to help with characterization in a novel. I ended up winning that contract. He came to me with one monster book. I helped him realize it needed to be at least a trilogy, and now he has plans for a ten-book series--and I'm helping write it. But I got the job because of the work I've done on the development side of editing--and because I've spent SO MUCH TIME learning about characterization (via acting, fandom/writing fanfic, reading, etc.). So. It all feeds into the same place.
The tl;dr is that my experience has been a bizarre mix of being in the right place at the right time, ongoing professional development, and learning the value of volunteering with an association. If I were starting down this career path right now, I'd probably do an editing certificate (there are many out there, depending on country). I'd definitely join an association sooner (even as a student member) and volunteer.
Actually, the ultimate tl;dr is ... this industry IS CONFUSING. So, don't feel bad about being confused. It's actually probably about eight different kinds of job wearing a trench-coat and pretending it's something called "Editing."
27 notes
·
View notes
Text
Ask Comp 19/10
That's true - we don't know for sure that Trollian can fully emulate Sburb's surveillance capabilities.
If the trolls were sufficiently motivated, though, they wouldn't actually need to. Sollux could probably hack one of the kids' computers, to gain access to their Sburb viewport - although if he did, he wouldn't need a camera to snoop on their messages.
Is there a paranoia Aspect? I think I've finally found my calling.
anonymous asked: heya! ive just finished re-reading your ENtIRE liveblog and i to send asks about some stuff but i waited to finish so im sendind everything at once!
(im gonna send stuff in a bunch of small asks so cat can stop just one instead of the whole thing in case of accidental spoilers)
(aslo hi cat!)
(also its ninnoy, havent sent an ask in a while but i changed my pfp to something slightly more spoilery so im in anon now)
[...] the jade pen pal thing, do you have any new theories on who it could be?
None! I'm sure that it's someone derived from Grandpa Harley, but everything else is a mystery.
I have no particular theories about who he is, how he knows Jade, where he got his hands on so many endgame weapons, or why he's got such an antiquated accent if he's watching movies from the 80s. I assume time travel is involved, but that doesn't really narrow anything down in a comic like this. He (she? they?) is a complete enigma, and I'll just have to wait to learn more.
ALsO WHEREs YOUR sONAs? we havent seen them in so long im afraid sahlle might have actueally died of meteor strike (joking of course)
also have you realized that "sally" and "cat" are both one letter of from a valid kid name? you could lend her one of your "L"s
I've actually been workshopping some Quest stuff for Sahlee this week! I suppose I'd need to figure out her Title first, though, and for that, I'd need to get a more solid idea of her personality, and how her experiences on Alternia have shaped her.
in one of your last posts you seemed to imply that the multiverse exists inside the timeline, but ive always read it as the opposite, the timeline inside the universe
that would explain why the trolls can pick any time from the humans universe to talk to them but cant have private conversations with their own futute/past selves, its not an inherent part of trollian, they are just outside the human timeline (the memos are still trollian being time fucky)
dont know if that makes any difference but its a thought
also i realize the tag may be unecessary due to my quirk, but its too late to stop now
(NOTE: quirk omitted for readability, but the substitutions are [t -> 7, s -> 2] - sort of a variant of Sollux's quirk. I actually don't think we've seen any quirks which add a 7, so the voice here is distinct from any trolls we've seen so far. I like it!)
Originally, my assumption was that each timeline contained a duplicate of the entire multiverse. Doomed timelines don't seem to let you communicate with other universes/dimensions, though, so they don't need to contain other sectors of reality. I'm currently of the opinion that doomed timelines only contain an instance of the dimension they were doomed in. The only timeline which contains the entire multiverse is the Alpha.
This mechanic keeps doomed timelines simple, but in-universe, I don't know why it exists. Much like the Alpha itself, it's a mystery I can only speculate about.
has the shipping chart been updated since the last time we saw it?
also you (at some point) said that equius<>feferi was a controversial ship so i had to go back to check the notes and i was the only person i found talkig about it
so i guess im the whole controversy? if thats the case i would like to thank you for recognizing me as the equius<>feferi number 1 hater (all jokes of course)
I got a few skeptical asks about Equius<>Feferi, but you're the only one who discussed it on the post itself. I guess by some measures, you are the most dedicated hater, because your hate was posted publicly! 🤣
I could make one or two changes, but I don't want to post a new chart until the kids meet the trolls in person, hopefully at the end of the Act!
The Scratch, naturally - but I'm also looking forward to seeing exactly how WV was Exiled. He's currently on Skaia, and Jack has lost interest in him, so who's actually sending him through the portal?
Tavros is barely a presence on the Land he's ostensibly the hero of, and all of his actions are being dictated by a third party who can physically control his body. This third party does not acknowledge or respect Tavros's own desires, effectively forcing him to play the game in a way that she personally approves of.
She claims it will make him stronger.
@bladekindeyewear submitted: That was a long, thorough, and fantastic response! It's fascinating seeing your opinion on these things-- and I'm glad to see that considering the questions we've given you seems to have made you more paranoid. But I'm just not entirely sure you're paranoid ENOUGH. Not yet.
Much like how you just found that "BREEZE" quote in your Breath research, back at around the time you've now reached in the comic, we had dozens of theory-miners combing back through everything that had been said and shown in Homestuck, over and over again, searching for anything we might have missed that might have been of some importance.
[...] So, uh….. how do I put this… Would you prefer to strictly handle that sort of thing all by yourself, as you've said? Which I'd agree is still the best way that you should keep to, for the most part? Or would you mind if I gave you just a CRUMB of an example, only one? A tiny bit of text that we in the theory community only found at about the time you've reached in the comic, even though it was more than a thousand pages earlier?
Shit, this is such a dilemma. I'm honestly really torn.
See, I'd probably find old fandom theories absolutely fascinating to analyze. I'd love to know how closely my ideas align with those of the early Homestuck fandom, and whether I'm saying anything really out-of-pocket. My analysis of Sollux's ~ATH script was apparently an original theory, and it's honestly one my proudest moments.
But that's also sort of the problem, isn't it? If I dive too deeply into other people's fan theories, they'll start to affect my own - and if I'm introduced to a really compelling fan theory, it could end up replacing any homegrown theories that I could have developed in lieu of it. If someone had send me a well-reasoned ~ATH theory before I did my own analysis, I'd probably have been less motivated to make the analysis in the first place. After all, many of my questions would already have been answered by a clever theory I just read.
People are free to send me their own off-the-cuff opinions on what's happening in the comic, or their own takes on any meta I write. I get a lot of asks like that, and they're some of my favorites. There are also asks which spoil a little too much, but I'm still interested in their takes, so Cat's saving them for later. We don't really delete asks - we just delay the ones that aren't necessarily appropriate for a blind liveblog.
Obviously there's a fine line here, and whether a given ask is a theory or just an opinion is a little subjective - but in my opinion, the influence that asks and submissions have had on my analysis has been relatively minor. I don't think many of my theories have been spawned from an ask, or killed by one.
This is a little different, though, because it's part of a theory that was crowdsourced over several years. It doesn't sound like something that could be inferred by an individual, so I'm not sure if it's something an individual liveblogger should necessarily know about? If I start crowdsourcing my analysis, my theories will be less Wertsearch and more fandom consensus, and I don't think I'd enjoy that as much.
I really want to know, but I think I'll enjoy the liveblog more if I don't. When I finish the comic, I'll gleefully analyze any fan theory that anyone sends me - but for now, I'll just have to wonder, and come up with theories of my own!
Yeah, we've really been getting into it with Vriska lately. I've enjoyed trying to explain and predict her actions, and I'm glad people don't think I'm going overboard when trying to analyze her.
When a character does something interesting, I don't like to move on until I have a theory about why they did it. Sure, it may be refuted later, but it needs to be something that's consistent with what I currently know about their personality.
Vriska takes a particularly long time to puzzle out in this way. Her motivations are derived from a complex web (lol) of factors, including Scratch, Spidermom, her rivalry with Terezi, her horrendous relationship with Tavros, classism, teenage hormones, quadrant politics, highblood society and the Alternian culture of violence. They all inform her decisions, and any combination of them could have been the catalyst for the latest Vriska Incident.
I want characters to make sense to me, and Vriska is written to deliberately challenge my attempt to achieve this. Her meta is fun to write, so I'm glad it's also fun to read!
62 notes
·
View notes
Text
Synergy|| L.M
Warnings/tags: switch!reader, fem!reader, possessive!reader, switch!minho, soft!dom minho, fwb dynamic, angst, pet names, praising, mentions of weed, mentions of alcohol, choking, teasing, penetration, creampie, unprotected sex (have fun responsibly), tears of pleasure, f!M! orgasm, mentions of food. (if I missed anything lmk)
Note: hi hi, ever since I went to the maniac concert, mr. lino has been a very BIG problem for me!!! I had to write this. Also Umi is my favorite artist next to skz so it's just fitting. There's some stoner lingo in this. crossfaded means to be high and drunk at the same time, and i think everything else is self-explanatory!! pls enjoy <3
Sypnosis: Lee Minho, he has a way with words but tends to be as clueless as ever.
Disclaimer: This is mature content, proceed at your own risk. Minors dni! This is a work of fiction, this does not represent skz's real personal life or them themselves!
ps: i don't have the willpower to do kinktober, lol im so sorry
The music series, I chose songs and assign them to each member. I write each work according to the vibe of said song. Each work will have smut, whether it is soft, hard, or a mixture of the two. You don’t need to listen to the song to enjoy it, the song would finish before you’re done reading but listening to the song in general is recommended, because why not? To learn more click <here>.
Part of the music series <masterlist>
You should've known. Known that your heart would hurt as much as it is now when you decided to fuck with Minho.
You rolled your eyes at the despicable sight in front of you, "Girl, don't worry about him." Your friend tried to steer your attention somewhere else, trying to get you to look away from Minho dancing with someone who wasn’t you. You hated the way he gripped her waist, whispering in her ear as she giggled shyly. You wanted to look away, you really did. But for some reason, you were too captivated by the feeling of heartbreak.
You weren't even in a relationship, that was the sad part. The two of you were friends, friends that made an agreement to satisfy each other's needs. Minho made it clear, "No feelings Y/n, I'm not doing that shit right now." You agreed fully, but he treated you like everything and nothing all at the same time. He knew your body too well, you always had the feeling he memorized every crevice, every sensitive spot on your form.
But it wasn't only your body he grew accustomed to, it was your soul. He knew how to speak to you, making you blush in ways you didn't know was possible. At first it was stupid generic compliments while he was burried in you, "You look so pretty like this." Of course you liked it. But as Minho learned how to satisfy you, he learned how to please you mentally, tweaking his affirmations. "You look so pretty for me." Even though the change was small, it made you cum prematurely the very first time he said it. Like your efforts were being recognized; always wanting to look pretty for him.
His pretty words weren't only used in the bedroom. At first they were, but eventually he would whisper in your ear, "That perfume... it drives me crazy" in front of mutual friends, "How come you look so beautiful every time I see you?" he’d scoff this while studying, like it was nothing.
Why him? This was a question you often asked yourself, a question you were asking yourself now. Watching as he probably whispered the same things he told you, to her.
"Can I have the pre-roll, Kim? I'm going for a smoke break." You sniffled, holding out your hand. She gave it to you willingly, you avoided her eyes, turning around and navigating through the dancing bodies. You had to pass him, it was dumb of you to glance over. The sight made the lump in your throat greater. Why did he have to slip his damn hand under her shirt? Why did he have to pull her impossibly closer? Why, why did he have to smile at her?
Your pace picked up, exiting the front door with an intake of breath. You couldn't hold in the pitiful tears as you let out a shaky sigh, walking down the driveway to lean against your friend's car. "How dumb can I be?" Your whispered words felt like venom in your chest as you repremaned yourself, sparking the blunt with the lighter Minho gave you the time he taught you to smoke.
The blunt felt comfortable between your lips, the lighter making the nicest sounds as puffs of smoke filled the open air.
Maybe you shouldn't be getting high right now, you'd feel everything harder. All those damn people lied, smoking doesn't take away the pain, it just makes those damn emotions more potent. Who knows, maybe weed didn't even want to see you happy.
"Smoking by yourself? Didn't even invite me?" Your heart stopped, quickly looking down to the pavement to avoid the gaze of the man that caused these fat tears running down your cheeks.
"You trying to hide from me, y/n? Always so cute." You frowned, feeling his pressence next to you. "I didn't know you were here, why didn't you say hi?" You gulped, taking another pull in silence. "Go away." the plea was only apparent in your mind. "Y/n?" Your lip quivered as he took hold of your chin, bringing your gaze up to him.
Why were his eyes so pretty? Why was this strain so strong tonight? Why did he mean everything to you? You sniffled, gulping as tears fell freely. Minho frowned, obviously confused as to why you were quietly breaking down in front of him, clueless to the fact that he was the cause.
You moved your chin out his grip, not bothering to protest as he took the blunt from your shaking fingers. "Who did it, Y/n?" He asked softly, taking a pull expertly. You let out a sarcastic chuckle, looking into the house as lights flashed and music blared. "Uhm, who was the person you were dancing with?" Fuck, why did you ask that? It didn't help that your voice sounded small, weak. It also didn't help that Minho stopped leaning on the vehicle to stand in front of you.
"Just some girl." With the nonchalant answer, came the nonchalant way he put the blunt in-between your lips. He watched as you took a pull, aiming the smoke away from his face as you exhaled. "I know you too well, don't try and hide your emotions from me." He huffs out, swiping a lone tear away as it threatens to escape your redend eyes.
"Talk to me~." He whined, taking the blunt and taking the last pull before stomping it out. "I wanted the last bit." You pouted quietly. He chuckled, "I'm sorry pretty girl, next time I got you." You hated how Minho spoke, how he probably spoke the same way to her.
"Don't call me that." He raised his brows in surprise, "Hm? But you love it, don't you?" You did, you loved his compliments, that was what aggravated you the most.
Minho studied how you tried to avoid his gaze, crossing your arms. You didn't even flash your heart warming smile at him when he greeted you. His eyes narrowed, "Did I do something wrong, princess?" He asked hesitantly, the pet name coming out instinctively.
"Minho..." you sighed, too tired to keep it in any longer; maybe you'll feel better. "You, you make me feel like shit." He stayed quiet, his frown deepening as you let yourself rant. "I don't know why, I- I really don't know, but uhm... I want you all to myself, as selfish as that sounds. I didn't like seeing you smiling at someone else, touching someone else like how you touch me. I don't like assuming you told that girl the same compliments you tell me. You're not mine, I know that. But I have feelings, and I get jealous."
"Y/n..." He started, "I'm going back inside. Uh, just ignore this ever happened. I didn't mean it." You did mean it, you meant all of it.
"Fuck," Minho cursed himself, watching with a frown as you walked back inside to crowded house. He didn't get to apologize, say that he didn't know you felt this way about him. Tell you this was an obviously idiotic strategy to get over you.
-
-
Minho was beyond pissed, he was raging. Only seeing red as he saw you kiss some other guy, gliding your hands through the randoms hair as you did his so many times. He could understand you were angry, but that didn't stop him from being angrier.
You don't know why you did it, but you knew you were sad, wanting a distraction from what you assumed was rejection. Therefore you downed two shots, locked eyes with the guy that has flirted with you once or twice, and used him. He didn't mean anything, you didn't remember his name, but you used him to forget the name you couldn't seem to forget.
The next events were all a blur, being yanked away from this guy, only to see an angry Minho punch said guy in the face. "Minho!" You gasped, as did everyone else in the room. "What the fuck!?" you yelled, watching as he shook away the pain in his hand.
It was a blur as he dragged you outside, called an uber and brought you home. He didn't talk to you, and you didn't talk to him.
It was only when you were sitting on his kitchen counter with confusion written on your face when he began to speak. "Are you fucking crazy?" you blinked at his question. "Excuse me?" He scoffed at your response. "You tell me you like me... then you make out with another guy." His calmness unsettled you.
"Minho, you fucking rejected me." But you didn't raise your voice either. "I-." "What, so you wanna control me now? You reject me, then punch some guy I made out with because I'm not your pro-" You were cut off, unable to speak as he grabbed your face, squishing your cheeks.
"Will you let me speak?" You glared up at him, as he glared down at you. "I like you too." You murmured out a muffled "Liar." But he understood, rolling his eyes in response.
Your eyes were clear with uncertainty, he could tell. Minho knew you didn't believe his words with time, "Can I kiss you?" He asked bluntly, releasing his grip on your cheeks just enough for you to respond. "Now is not the time to make-" "Just trust me, hm? Let me show you."
You hesitated. “Minho, I may be cross faded as fuck… and obviously you are too,” You scoffed, “But this infatuation thing I’m feeling for you… it’s starting to feel like hatred.” His grip on your cheeks loosened as he frowned. “Did I ever tell you that I didn’t feel the same way? Hm?” You peered into his eyes as he spoke, stroking your cold cheeks.
“No, but I see you with someone new every time I turn around. It’s… embarrassing.” Minho winced, realizing that you felt exactly how he felt just 20 minutes ago… but only almost every outing the two of you have been to. “Y/n, baby… I’m sorry. I’m sorry that my communication skills are ass.” His confession almost made you laugh in disbelief. Lee Minho, the one who used his words to get you there… was bad at communication.
“Tell me how you feel about me Minho, I wanna hear it.” You knew this was the weed and liquor talking, but you stopped caring as soon as he looked into your eyes with raw emotion.
Of course he knew how big you were on words, well his words. How he spoke, whispered, yelled… how he addressed you. It was dangerous, almost lethal.
“Every time I’m in you… I feel like we become one. And every time I get the pleasure to breathe in the same air as you, I feel like its all I need in that moment.” You gulped, breathing in his scent. “As selfish as this sounds, I want you to myself too.” Silence filled the air as he stopped talking. His sparkling brown eyes staring into yours, trying to read any emotion you could offer him. It seemed as if your hand moved on it’s own as you softly clutched his cheek in your palm. “I’m yours, Y/n. You have me, all of me. No more bullshit.” His voice was gentle, but the urgency seeped through.
You couldn’t help but get lost in his eyes again. You let your thumb brush over his pink lips that you admired so often. “These are mine?” You ask, shuttering as he presses a soft kiss to the pad of your thumb. “All yours.” His voice was heavy. Your hands travel down from his shoulders, your nails slightly digging into his flesh covered by his shirt. You observed as Minho took in a deep breath gulping as he shut his eyes at your touch.
“I’m gonna claim you, Minho.” He opened his eyes at your statement, “H-huh?” He didn't mean to stutter, but he couldn’t help it. He wasn’t used to hearing you speak to him like this, it was always the other way around. You smiled softly, your fingers making their way under his shirt, feeling at his warm skin. He sighed at your touch, the sight making you part your lips. “You want to show me how much I mean to you, hm?” He nodded silently at your question, curious as to what was going through your head.
“Let me do what I want to you.” He sucked in a breath, feeling his pants tighten at the mere thought of you using him how you wanted. “And when i’m done, I want you to fuck me like you mean it. Is that okay, Minho?” You peered up at him through your lashes, catching his hungry gaze as he muttered an “Of course.” You smiled at him gently, pushing him away so you could get off the counter. “Should we go-” You cut him off, “Why are you talking?” He raised an eyebrow at your words. “I-I’m sorry.” If this was any other session between the two of you, he would have admired your efforts, looking at you amused as you tried to reverse the tables. But this time around, he didn’t want to risk pushing your buttons. Almost afraid to show any ounce of dominance, he didn’t want to fuck this up.
Minho gulped and you took his black T-shit off for him, licking your lips as you stared at his naked torso. He felt so exposed in the best way possible, his nipples hardening as they made contact with the breeze drafting through his dining room. He flinched as you flicked at his bud, he swallowed back a grunt as you pinched. “Ah- bab-” You shushed him and he listened, his chest falling and rising heavily as you touched him at your own pace. He didn’t notice as you observed his expressions, as his gaze was too focused on where your hands were going next. You wondered if he liked to be praised as well, how much it would effect him.
“You look so good like this,” His gaze shifted up to yours slowly as you spoke. “You always look so good, how could I not fall for you, hm?” Minho bit his lip, feeling his ears turn red at your compliments; all the while twitching as you continued to play with his sensitive nipples. This is the first time he’s ever felt so defenseless.
“I wonder,” You one hand traveled lower as the other stayed pinching and flicking, “how would all those girls react to seeing sweet talker Minho react to little old me playing with his cute, pretty, sensitive, nipples.” He didn’t mean to let out the whimper he did. “Oh look at you, crumbling apart already. Tell me how this feels?” He lets out a grunt as you squeeze his hard on through his pants, his eyes closing as his lips parted. “Tell me, Min.” The man licked his lips, “G-good, feels good baby.” His voice was raspy and light as he tried his best to answer you.
You couldn’t help but to feel smug as you watched the man that usually had you ripping at the seams crumbling before you. “I bet you wanna fuck me so bad, don’t you baby?” Minho hummed, feeling your hand unbutton his pants and slip under the waistband of his boxers, gripping his length. “Yes, please.” You scoffed at his response, “I didn’t even need to make you beg, you’re just so needy. I bet you’re wishing my hand was my pussy.” Minho chuckled in disbelief, looking into your eyes with need. “Y/n, you’re killing me here beautiful.” you giggled, pecking his plump lips, tsking as he tried to chase as you pulled away.
Unfortunately, this felt like tourture to you as well. Felling his length twitch in your palms made your crave for him to fill you up even more. Your hand continued to stroke his member as the other ran through his locks. “You’re gonna fuck me now, do you understand?” Minho nodded, “Can- can I kiss you please?” You cooed. His voice timid, his hands clenched as he waited for your permission. Your other hand joined your other as you pulled at his hair softly, a sigh admitting from him. You smiled, pulling his lips to yours. Minho sighed into you, his hands fighting the urge to touch you without you granting him access.
“Such a good boy,” You whispered as you pulled away. Minho looked down, feeling flustered at the praise. His dick aching to be released as he watched you undress your bottom half, leaving your tank top on. Minho let you pull his boxers down, “You have such a pretty dick, how are you real?” He whined, “Baby, please.” You smirked, lifting yourself on the counter top. “Inside, now.” Minho was going to ask about foreplay, that was until he witnessed how wet you were. Glistening in the dim light of the room. “U-Uhm, condom-” You scoffed, surprising him as you cut him off. “You’re mine remember, you’re not wasting a drop of cum in a fucking condom.” Minho shuttered, clearing his throat as he moved towards your awaiting cunt, feeling more nervous than usual.
Your hand grabbed his chin, lifting his eyes up to meet yours. “Fuck me like you mean it.” Minho bit his lip, running his tip through your slit, gathering your arousal before stretching you out. It was right then and there where you could feel your little dom act slipping, you clutched his shoulder as you gasped at the feeling of him filling you, your eyes rolling back as this is what you waited for.
Minho stayed still, smirking as he observed your act slowly disappearing, the pleading look he knew so well making an appearance. His hands gripped your thighs, easing the rest of himself in your heat, absorbing your whimpers as licked his lips at the sight of you. “It’s okay, beautiful, I’ve got you now. Just relax, hm?” You nodded, not fighting the change of roles as he bottomed out.
He began to thrust, his movements were deep, angled because he knew right where you needed him after months of getting to know your body. “F-fuck,” You whispered, looking down to witness where he slid in and out of you, whining as he picked up speed. You swallowed dryly as Minho grasped the back of your neck, pushing his forehead to yours as he fucked you, exactly how you asked. “I’m yours y/n,” You looked into his eyes as yours were hooded. “Hm? I’m yours baby, my dick is yours. I don’t fuck anyone but you princcess, how could I when you take me so well?” You let out a muted sob, tears forming as he hit your sensitive areas every time, his free hand rubbing at your clit.
“F-Fuck, fuck Min- Minho.” Your voice was weak, only moans coming through as he shushed you. “Shhhh, baby it’s okay. I’m here, I got you.” Minho pecked your nose as he watched tears escape your eyes. He let go of the back of your neck, his grip moving to the base instead, slightly squeezing just how you liked it. He held you away from him slightly, trying to ignore how good you felt around him. Minho smirked, seeing your cunt begin to cream around his length as he was practically pounding into you, Your clit becoming puffy as his thumb flicked at the bundle of nerves. You let out a stream of hushed curses as you held onto his wrist, begging him to choke you harder which he did. Minho bit his lips as he watched your legs start to shake, trying to close shut as the stimulation became almost too much for you. “Cum for me baby, I know you can. It’s almost over.” Minho told you gently, grunting as your walls tighten around him. “There you go, princess.” He watched with a grin as you let out loud drawn out moans, tears flowing your face as you came around him.
You whimpered as he kept fucking into you, “Min, cum in me, please. Wanna feel you.” Minho cooed at your request, stroking your cheek as he reassured you, “I’m gonna fill you up baby, is that what you want?” You nodded feverishly, breathing heavily as he chuckled. Minho grabbed your waist, grinding his hips into you as he grunted. “Fuck, you always feel so good around me.” you thought it was impossible to blush in this situation, but you did.
Your lips parted as you watched Minho’s head tilt back, licking lips as he cursed at the feeling of his climax approaching. You whimpered as you felt him twitch inside you, filling you up with warmth as he pulled you in, kissing you as he made sure you didn’t waste a drop.
After a while, you giggled. Watching as Minho pulled out of you, a bit of his cum seeping out as he took a finger to push it back in. You said nothing as he closed your legs for you, rubbing at your thighs as he pecked all over your face. “I’m yours baby, all of me.” You nodded with a tired smile. “Don’t hate me, hm?” You chuckled at his words. “If you take a bath with me and make spaghetti, then I won’t.” Minho smiled, “Deal.”
#Spotify#stray kids#skz smut#lee know smut#skz minho#skz scenarios#lee know#skz imagines#skz fanfic#skz hard thoughts#skz hard hours
139 notes
·
View notes
Note
ooooh okokokok
Grimdark griann and horror terror watcher/listeners sounds SO SICK
Also i hope you know i genuinely laughed when you said he mightve fished it up. And then i was like "Do Trolls fish? Would that be considered an act of aggression against the top two castes?" and then i decided it would be really fucking funny if Griann was fishing and then Scar swam over, and either purposefully or not, got caught on Grianns line, so our beloved candy blood man fishes up his beloved moirail. I imagine it has happened on multiple occasions.
I am so excited you said that because i personally love Cub and Convex so much, they mean so much to me. Also Iskall!! I love that man!!! And Doc would be such a fun addition to the cast (I personally imagine him as an indigo blood because.... well. sometimes he reminds me of Equius. And despite my hatred for Equius i say this in the most affectionate way if that makes sense) (I dont hate Doc hes such a silly guy)
Dont feel too much pressure about the ships! I can't speak on behalf of anyone else but i know i personally am happy to wait to see them whenever youre ready to put them out, although i AM excited to see who.
I think word of mouth spreading also works really well, although I am genuinely so interested in how exactly it got up to Scar in the first place. As in like what is the lineage from Griann to Scar. I feel like I'd need to know the other blood castes of the cast, and also how closely you're sticking to troll society canon in the way that generally high and low bloods dont mesh too often.
Also, if you have decided it. Im very interested in learning who/what everyones lusus is? If you even just have a combination of animals for a few.
I'm assuming you welcome fanart, but if we slightly change designs/make our own designs (for trolls whose designs haven't made their appearance yet), is that ok?
Oh man, I think Griann definitely has to fish now & yes, he 110% fishes Scar up on multiple occasions. Actually, fuck it, that might be how they meet. In fact… while they knew each other to the extent of being vaguely recognized usernames on the VLARP forums earlier, they actually met in person when Scar got tangled up in one of Griann’s (illegal) fishing nets. Griann had been preparing himself for a fight or flight kinda situation when he noticed a violet blood in his nets, but that proved rather unnecessary. Scar, while he gave Griann some crap about how his nets ought to be more visible, was much more interested in chatting than actually in any way making Griann pay for the slight. This became A Thing, Scar occasionally getting caught up in the nets, though it was never really clear how often this was an accident or not. When Griann was looking for people for 3rd Life, he happened to mention it to Scar, who demanded he be allowed to play. Now, at this point, Scar was really just ‘that odd violet blood who can’t avoid nets & talks a lot & thank fuck doesn’t want me culled’ to Griann. However, when Griann recognized his username from around the community, he figured he’d give Scar a chance.
(There is definitely some angst in here somewhere about how Griann didn’t see Scar for multiple perigees after 3rd Life & how despite their moirallegence during the game, Griann came to doubt whether Scar still wanted anything to do with him after the blood bath in the cactus ring…)
Interesting to think of Doc as an indigo blood! Though I am tempted to make him a low blood with no psychic powers…. Hm… I’ll have to give this more thought… (Okay adding this last minute before posting, but gold blood Doc whose lusus is a swarm of bees that help run all his tech. You know. The Hivemind.)
Okay, so lusii. Here’s who I’ve got figured out from my list:
- Scar: some sort of mercat? Like a purrbeast, but aquatic. A murrbeast if you will.
- Lizzie: Gl’bgloyb, ‘cause she’s every fuchsia’s lusus
- Jimmie: canary. It just has to a canary. Tiny fragile bird that Jimmie’s constantly desperately trying to keep alive.
- Tangoh: a warden. Don’t ask me how wardens got on Alternia, but they are definitely a thing there in this AU. Other trolls (especially low bloods who don’t know him) are terrified of Pancakes, but Tangoh mostly regards him with fond exasperation as he needs a lot of looking after.
- Wrehnn: dog/woofbeast, think German Shepard
- Gem: A deer, but if deer were terrifying predators. It looks like a deer for the most part & people tend to underestimate Gem when she shows up on a skittery prey animal. That is, until her lusus opens her mouth & they see the impossible number of teeth she has.
- Bedubs: a horse of some kind, for sure. Maybe a unicorn, who are seen as fearsome beasts on Alternia. After all, what’s more hardcore than having a single, sharp horn for goring on your forehead?
- Pearle: owl-wolf. Like a wolf that’s got giant eyes & owl wings.
- Mummbo: giant moth
- Eethos: arctic fox with moose antlers
- Skizzl: Irish Wolfhound
- Martyn: snow creeper named Colin
- Joel: honey badger named Jeremy
- Cleaoh: Snow leopard
- Bigbee: a frog the size of a pit bull
- Impuls: ground pangolin. Can’t explain this really, but both my fiancé & I came to this independently. So uh I guess Impuls(e) is pangolin coded??? (Something about burrowing, something about being cute as fuck but razor sharp, something about looking like they want to ask you to a middle school dance.)
- Scohtt: sea otter
- Griann: chicken. Might even actually be a Minecraft chicken, not sure how committed to that bit I am.
Whoops totally just got absorbed in this & figured out all the lusii lol. But this was so much fun, my fiancé & I have been researching animals & YouTubers for the last like hour or so & now my search history is all stuff like “weird big cat” & “animals that are cute & friendly but also could definitely kill you.”
I’m sticking to the separation between castes pretty loosely, mostly because (spoiler) a lot of the out of game plot revolves around rebellion against The Condesce. So it would make sense that trolls who want to overthrow the status quo would be less bound by social norms. Every group pretty much has at least a blue blood or higher in it, & at least one low blood. Not necessarily because I planned that, it’s just sorta how things shook out.
For fanart, yes, omg I welcome it so much! If you want to tweak designs a bit or make up a design, that’s cool. (Though also, if you want in AU references for anyone, I’m always happy to throw together a rough reference sheet! Might take me a day or so, depending on spoon levels, but I’d be delighted to have a reason to draw any of the many trolls I haven’t yet!)
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
ok heres what ive been thinking of recently
honestly its just raw emotion, i dont really mean to upset anyone or say that they're consuming anything wrong. i'll try to word things as carefully as possible (or ill mince meat as much as possible idk) because i really do not like when people assume ill intent in my words just because i use blunt language at times. (sorry its just how i talk. im not mad at you. im not yelling at you online)
but honestly i have had a long thought about it.
i'm incredibly tired of the lack of curiousity a lot of new vocaloid fans have towards the culture.
statements like "boomers expect me to know songs from 2007" or whatever. i mean, no, no one is Expecting anything from you, that is absolutely a strawman you have invented based on someone merely being surprised (often in jest even), but it's also like. you, who actively identify yourself as a big fan, have never even thought to look back? there are so many playlists and medleys you can consult. it is a few searches away, i don't care. you are not five years old. and if you feel lost you can always ask people there are always so many people just waiting to introduce someone to even one or two old songs they like.
like is it bad that i think you should be a little more passionate if you consider yourself a geek?
what is wrong with me being surprised if you don't know sakura no ame or saihate or whatever. what is wrong with me thinking that it's weird that even with the biggest producers in the world, you have 0 curiousity to look into their old works?
it's not me being old and cranky, i just think it's a little bad and disrespectful that a lot of new fans just see older songs as inherently worse or not worth their time and use them as a strawman to invent some kind of boomer boogeyman who is going after them for not knowing shiningray or celluloid or ikelenka or whatever. even though honestly you should know them. even if you only listen to it once and decide you don't like it, or hell even just know they exist without listening.
like, songs with millions of views on nnd, i want you to at least familiarize yourself, especially if the producers are still active! at the very least!
whats wrong with me wanting people to enjoy amazing music that built up an entire subculture? made by passionate people who didn't even know the scene could last as long as it did? what's wrong with wanting to share my love with another generation?
i'm not denying that there may be outliers who are rude to other fans, but come the fuck on, stop acting coy about it. you should at least be able to recognize one of either the title, sound or thumbnail of the top 100 songs from 2009. not even KNOW them, just recognize, like is that too much to ask?
like, it's something i personally struggle to understand in general when it comes to interests i'm passionate about. i'm not a pushy person by the way, i don't go around heckling people not even as a joke, so i am not even letting anyone put me in the box of "probably acted pushy and didn't realize and is now mad at the other party". like, this is not directed at casual fans. i am just thinking stuff like "why are you hostile towards the idea of learning more about your interest?" and "why are you hostile towards passionate people who want more people to get into what they like?" and "why pigeonhole yourself? learning more means more fun for you."
because what bothers me the most is that eventually it turns into accusations of "gatekeeping" and "elitism" if anyone voiced their opinion about things. i know how im wording it makes it sound like it personally happened to me but it hasn't it is just what i have observed over the years as someone who gets super into stuff and tries to immerse myself and sees other people get into fights whether its the """elitist""" or the """casual""".
why is it like this? i cannot see why wanting to share is elitism or gatekeeping. maybe elitism sure if the other party feels like they're being targeted for no reason (and im not saying it does not happen). but gatekeeping? why is it gatekeeping? wanting to share what you like with others is gatekeeping? isn't that if you told people NOT to get into it and hid it away?
like, im saying it properly so no one misconstrues what i am saying, but i understand not everyone wants or has the energy to become a big fan of something. there are so many things where i am a very casual fan!! but even then i respect the thing i am into by also acknowledging its history at the very least even if i might not ever play/watch/read/etc all of it or at all.
so like... is it bad? is it bad that i think others should have this respect too? i know this is an issue of low empathy or whatever. i have to run around in circles to understand others. i "get" it, but im also like, why cant they be like me? so i want you to know in no uncertain terms that I GET IT. I GET PEOPLE'S POSITIONS HERE. i have been thinking about this general topic my entire life
so in the end it just turned into a general sort of thing. but yeah, i don't understand why people get so defensive and act so persecuted. am i wrong in my point of view? am i just being an elitist after all? like i simply see it as "i want people to enjoy it too."
like, i thought about this stuff after seeing how passionate ado is about vocaloid. like, she is only 21 years old. she is as old as or slightly older than many new fans (though she had liked vocaloid since elementary school). she is the biggest pop star in japan right now and yet her passion has not waned. not to mention so many younger fans that do have that curiousity too. i used to think its not possible, but i see them in the YT comments, going "im 16 but i really like this era of music" and such.
like, please just open your heart. ignore the boogeymen you're hallucinating and just enjoy slowly... it doesn't have to be a study session. naturally you will just discover more songs you like from those eras
10 notes
·
View notes
Note
link who's a kpop idol and revali who says he hates link to his irls but runs a whole goddamn stan account for him
SO TRUE revali is out here making gif sets of link and dissecting all of his lyrics but he would absolutely deny this to like.. urbosa and his other irls
im apparently incapable of coming up with my own plot ideas so im gonna take inspiration from a personal favorite of mine 🤭 im getting blueberry eyes vibes from this prompt, like what if revali posted like, kpop dance covers or smth and he streamed himself learning dances, and link, during a break from one of his schedules, comes across revali's channel and watches his streams, and he's really impressed! because it's a super hard dance, like guerrilla or something. so link subscribes (with his anonymous personal account sjdbsjf, so it's not obvious that he's a famous idol) and keeps coming back whenever revali goes live. and revali recognizes this anonymous username as a regular viewer of his, and so occasionally they'll have a conversation through the chat box. and revali learns that link dances too! (he doesn't realize that link is the original artist for several of the songs revali has covered) and so they talk about dances and kpop for a bit which is fun goodbye my ideas are so bland
ANYWAYS yes revali is also running a stan account for link. tbh I'm not super familiar with a lot of soloists so I don't have a great example of what kind of an artist link would be. even though I've talked about him being a hip hop dancer here and here, I think if he were a soloist I'm getting jimin vibes from him? like esp face era, the more contemporary vibes of like crazy along with the powerful vocals of set me free pt2, I rlly feel like link would have that all-rounder vibe with an emphasis on angsty contemporary yk? but occasionally he'll do a fun song like pop or gogo just to vibe, which is honestly so slay of him
when link has a comeback, first revali streams the fuck outta the mv, like it has 2M views in the first 12 hours and revali is definitely responsible for half of those views. haters are talking about how much the song sucks or whatever and revali is in the comments on ALL those posts defending his fave to the max 😭 after he's done doing that, he starts making gif sets and reblogging fanart ppl made. then he writes an entire essay on how this song changed the industry and how link is more talented that anyone else's faves. meanwhile urbosa is like girl stop fangirling in your room come outside and touch some grass 🤨
then after that, revali goes live to start learning the choreo for the title track (which is actually insane because the song just came out a day ago and he's learning it based on one fancam from the comeback stage). and link sees him learning his dance and is like literally so impressed bc?? it's a very hard dance and he has to admit that revali is talented by learning it just from one video
hm idk where to go from here. pls give me ideas 😊🤞
#im so sorry I've been struggling with writing and coming up with good plots so I feel rlly bad that I couldn't contribute more 😭#but this was so cute to think abt ✋#amiharana#usually idol x fan aus are not my thing but this got me imagining revali going to one of link's concerts and as link looks out into the#crowd he locks eyes with revali and recognizes him as the super talented dancer and they both blush#this au has me all delulu 🤭#anyways yes pls give me ideas!! I have no more ideas and would love someone else to come up w a better plot!#revalink#revali#link#botw#breath of the wild#loz#legend of zelda#crow's revalinkverse#me being So Normal about this game
26 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
shaicloud
Trainer Red
chatsense10
Chat Sense
iholdyouupaboveeveryone
All I want is you, baby
nattilynne91-blog
Untitled
flowergirlhaus
It All Started In The Forest