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#I'll do my best to answer messages and see what you've all been up to! 🤗
2millu2 · 1 day
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Hii!! Can you do some headcanons/drabble for Hiori Yo from Blue Lock ? Tysm 💕
Missed Shot || Hiori Yo
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| ✵ ft. (The sweetest boy) Hiori yo
🝮 a small Drabble of being his best friend and helping him with his worries
"So how'd practice go?" You ask, tossing your backpack onto the couch and dropping down beside it.
"... Fine." Hiori replies, his focus still on the TV.
You don't press further. You're used to this routine by now. You know Hiori is usually eager to talk about everything except his practice. But today seems different. He's quieter than usual and there's a frown on his face. Maybe he's overthinking things again.
"Are you sure you're alright?" You ask, giving him a glance.
Hiori doesn't answer for a moment. You know he's probably debating whether or not to tell you.
"It's just... it was rough. I missed that last shot and everyone was talking about it afterward, you know? They kept saying how I've never missed that shot before."
"I know," you reply, nodding along. Hiori has been struggling like this for a while. You've heard him talk about these problems before, but something does feel different today...
"That doesn't matter though... but still, I'm supposed to be the perfect player. I'm supposed to be the best... and right now, I don't feel like that at all."
Hiori glances your way, searching your face for any sign of judgment. But you've heard these worries before. You know exactly how to handle it.
"Hey, you know what?" you say, smiling at him. "That shot didn't matter. We all mess up occasionally. We're human, not machines."
Hiori lets out a sigh, but you can see he's relieved. A smile spreads across his face as he relaxes back into the couch, finally accepting the positive message and letting go of his worry.
"Yeah..." he mumbles. "You're right. I know that."
You give him a light pat on the shoulder and grin back at him. "Of course I'm right," you say, "I'm your best friend."
Hiori smiles again, and then suddenly remembers something.
"Oh, hey... you promised you'd help me with that one level, didn't you?"
You roll your eyes, but also grin.
"Yeah, I remember," you say, "I'm here to keep my promise."
And with that, you two launch into some intense video gaming.
You laugh at his comment, but soon enough he actually does catch up. The intense competition continues, with neither of you backing down.
You and Hiori are neck and neck as you play through the level, strategizing and making split-second decisions. At one point, you manage to pull ahead and take the lead.
"Yes!" you exclaim, feeling proud of yourself. But Hiori doesn't seem upset. In fact, he's smiling as well.
"Good job," he says. "Don't worry, I'll catch up."
The two of you are so absorbed in the game that you barely notice when the time has passed. It's been hours, but it feels like only minutes have passed. It's late now, but neither of you wants to stop playing just yet.
"Shall we call it a draw?" you ask, and Hiori nods, smiling.
You two turn off the game and walk back to the couch. You're tired but still buzzing with energy. You collapse back onto the couch, and Hiori snuggles up beside you.
The two of you sit quietly for a moment, enjoying the quiet but also feeling the tiredness creeping in. Hiori leans his head on your lap, and you stroke his hair gently. Then he speaks up again.
"Thanks... for always being here for me," he says, glancing up at you.
You nod, smiling back. "It's no problem," you reply, "that's what best friends do, right?"
He laughs softly, closing his eyes again. "Right," he says. "That's exactly right."
Hiori shifts slightly on the couch, snuggling a little closer to you, and you feel him begin to breath slowly as he drifts off to sleep. He's sound asleep now, a peaceful look on his face. You look at him for a moment, feeling your eyes growing heavy as well.
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elitadream · 3 months
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I HAVE RETURNED!!! 💃🎉✨
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hydrobunny · 11 months
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meet me in the pouring rain
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tags: comfort, established relationship, aftermath of fights, happy ending!!!!!
obviously, you two had your fights. it would be stupid to think you didn't: stupid to assume the two of you were constantly perfect.
you curl up by the door of your bedroom, trying to stop yourself from crying.
you hated this. you hated how you had expected anything different. of course sae itoshi would choose football over you. it was what he had been doing for his entire life.
but why had you thought today would be something different? just because it was your birthday?
you had asked him if you two were doing anything so excitedly, so stupidly. he had looked at you with the blankest expression you had seen.
and of course when you tried to press the matter, he had snapped at you that he was busy- to not bother him before practice.
and the words had spewed out of your mouth, telling him to get on with it and get out of the house.
sae hadn't argued further, merely blinking at you in vague confusion before slamming the door behind him.
he hadn't returned for lunch. and with the sheer amount of rain outside, you knew he couldn't be practicing still. (well, you mused, there was a slight chance.)
but that meant he had to be taking shelter somewhere away from your home, somewhere with other people.
lightning crackled outside. the rain was really coming on in droves now. you curl further into a ball and listen to your own heartbeat, steady and calming.
the notification sound of your phone was a scare, and you flinch, hard. you look around for the source of the noise. the dings continue on and on.
when you finally find your phone, you're stunned to see the contact sae <33
the messages are a clear change from his usual short ones, practically an entire chain of frantic words. it's a drastic change compared to the dead silence he's been giving you today.
y/n
fuck i'm sorry
i didn't mean what i did in the morning
i forgot the date i'm so sorry
y/n?
i'm outside. you don't have to come if you don't want to. i'll stay.
you stare at that last message. sae was-
you run to her window, heart rate rising. you can barely see past the sheer amount of rain slamming down.
but sae was there. you can make out his vague form, the rain unforgivably landing on top of his head.
you almost fall down the stairs with how fast you run down. you skid to a stop in front of the door.
your hand turns on the knob.
“sae,” you breathe out.
sae looks at you with a bouquet of soaked roses and a small box, looking more like a drowned rat than the boyfriend you knew.
“you're going to get sick,” you sputter. “what were you-”
“i love you,” sae interrupts, eyes glowing with an intensity unfamiliar to you.
you've only seen that look on the field, when he's truly concentrating.
"i'm so fucking sorry," he continues. "i need you to know that you are my first priority. i know i don't act like it- but you're the best thing that's happened to me."
your mouth hangs open, your voice weak. "come inside."
he does. you gently take the roses from him and place them on the table. he pockets the box, and you don't question him.
sae waits patiently for you to speak.
"i'm sorry too," you finally say. "i shouldn't have-"
he grabs onto your hands, squeezing reassuringly. "don't apologize. im the one who forgot. it's not-it'll never be your fault."
you swallow. "i love you. but you should really go change-"
"before that," sae digs back into his pocket and pulls out the neatly wrapped box. "here."
the wrapping paper gives easily underneath your nails. you eye the box warily. it's clearly jewelry, so you crack the thing open-
"jesus christ-" you fumble the box.
sae catches it easily, raising one eyebrow.
"you got a ring?"
"it's not what you think it is." he hums, gently taking the ring out of the box. it's a pretty little thing, all delicate and fragile looking. "my proposal wouldn't be this tacky."
you stare at him. "so the ring is..."
"a promise," he answers as he slides it carefully onto your finger. "for a better one eventually."
the blood rushes to your face immediately. sae doesn't seem phased at all, even if he's just confessed that he's going to marry you.
"i-"
sae sneezes. once, and then twice.
you grab his arm. "okay. you are getting into some warm clothes."
he frowns, but follows you up the stairs anyway.
when the two of you reach the bedroom, you stop him by the door.
"you know, i only wanted two words."
his head tilts almost imperceptibly, confusion leaking-
sae smiles. "happy birthday."
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𝐏𝐥𝐮𝐬 𝐎𝐧𝐞
Pairing: childhood bff!Chan x fem!reader (non-idol au) Word count: 3.4k Genre: Fluff 🥰💖, Smut 🔥❤️ (angst if you squint) Warning: Weddings... (lord help me), pro best friend chan, mentions of familial favoritism, semi rough sex? , soft dom!chan, sweet name calling(babygirl, princess), slightly jealous chan, comfort, lord someone teach me how to make better warnings, i think thats all? (someone needs to teach me to proof read.)
A/N: THANK YOU FOR 100 FOLLOWERS I LOVE YOU <3 I'm working on improving the formating of my works so >.> bare with me if some of the stuff doesnt translate over well on different devices, especially the text message part >.>
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When you were young, you often got compared to your sister, your sister who loved pink and poodles and tutu skirts. She was younger than you by a year and yet, she always out did you, always was a step ahead, always beating you in everything. Yeah, you loved her, but the pain of comparison drove a wedge between you two.
You were 5 when you met Chan. He was very silly, always playing games and smiling, you happened to attend the same school and after he stood up for you against an older boy at the park you two were inseparable.
Chan, who sang for you. Chan, who shared his food with you. Chan, who taught you how to dance. Chan, who teased you for acting like a nerd. Chan, who was your best friend.
Chan was sitting on the couch in your apartment, watching a cringey romantic comedy with you when your phone rang. You gave it a glance and cringed, your grandmother's name appeared on the screen with a image of the woman with an almost plastic smile.
"You should probably answer." Chan said, "Would make it worse if you didn't."
You gave your best friend a side eye. "Nah really?"
He laughed lightly as you answered the phone.
"Hi, honey, you are joining us this year for the whole family get-together aren't you?" The old woman's voice came through the speaker to your ear.
"Of course Grandma-" You started.
"That's what you said last year, and you didn't come."
You made a face, the reason you hadn't gone was because you were sick. "Things happen Grandma."
"And the year before that?"
You pursed your lips, glancing at Chan. You weren't avoiding your family really you were just... avoiding the conflict that ensued when you were with your family. And by conflict you meant the constant onslaught of questions and disappointed looks you got whenever your family asked about anything you were doing with your life.
"And anyway, it's been so long since we've heard from you, we want to see how you've been, keep the family together, bring new people in along the way." Your grandma sounded so happy.
"What do you mean?" You were confused by the "bring new people".
"Oh dear. Did your sister not tell you?" Your grandma sighed, "She has a surprise for us this year."
You sighed. Your little sister always was one better than you, or two, or ten...
"Y/n?" Your grandma's voice brought you out of your daze and Chan leaned forward looking at your face.
"I'll be there this year grandma, I promise."
"Alright. Bye bye honey."
"Bye..." You said in a small voice hanging up.
Chan smiled slightly at you. "So?"
"Help."
His eyes widened slightly before darting around. "You know I really would if I could read minds but it's awfully sad I cant."
You rolled your eyes at the man. "My family dislikes everything I do."
"And?" Chan leaned back, raising a brow.
"They don't dislike you."
"What are you trying to do here?"
You clasped your hands and gave your best friend the most innocent pure pleading gaze. "Come with me, so they won't hate on me."
Chan made a face. "No-"
"I'll pay for the wifi in your apartment for the next two- four months." You grabbed your friend's big hands in yours, "Please!"
"Just because they don't hate me doesn't mean they won't hate on you." Chan said exasperated.
"BUT they'll find someone to compare to you so I won't have to be put down by this." You give him a pleading look.
"Y/n. I've done a lot of dum shit before this is my limit."
"Channie!" You begged. "Come on! I'll pay your netflix subscription too!"
Chan groaned. "Fine! You're making me feel guilty."
"AH! You're the best Chan." You smiled hugging you friend.
He rolled his eyes and patted your hair. "You're lucky netflix is expensive."
So there you were dinner, with your family, your grandmother quick to jump and compliment Chan and compare your father and uncles to him when they were his age. Everyone complimenting your sister and asking her what the big news was. Your dad looked about ready to leave when your younger sister stood. tapping her spoon against her glass gently.
You looked at her, she smiled at you, a smile you couldn't read.
"I have a big announcement to make." She looked at her boyfriend. "Well.. we have a big announcement to make."
"What is it dear?" Your mother asked.
"We're getting married!" Your little sister jumped and smiled. Everyone started clapping.
The initial excitement and congratulations ended, leaving a gently chattering at the table.
Cue your grandmother.
"Y/n dear, what about you?"
Silence.
Everyone looked at you.
Your sister sighed slightly. "Granny, you can't pester her. Give her time, she might get married before 40."
A soft laugh rippled over the table, you stared at your little sister. She smiled innocently, your fist clenched under the table. So what if she was younger and prettier and more successful. You made a move to excuse yourself but Chan grabbed your fist under the table, you relaxed your grip and his fingers slipped between yours and squeezed gently. Your heart skipped a beat and you looked up at your best friend, smiling.
Her Majesty the Queen 01:53 She was obviously out to get you.
Butt Hunter 01:53 I agree
🐶 01:54 Go to the wedding in white.
Baby Chick 01:54 💀
. Me 01:54 I'm NOT going to my sister's wedding in white!
Beanie boy 01:54 He's giving real solutions here.
Squirrel 01:55 Just don't go?
Bread. 01:55 All you do is avoid conflict.
Squirrel 01:55 NO I DONT
Noodle Spirit Survivor. 01:56 shut up. it's 2 in the fucking morning.
. Me 01:56 Sorry Chan, we'll shut up now.
Beanie boy 01:56 Erm actually it's 1:56 AM
🐶 01:56 It's called silent old man.
Bread. 01:56 LMFAO
Baby Chick 01:56 LOL
Butt Hunter 01:56 I don't think his phone box has a silent button.
Squirrel 01:57 😭
Her Majesty the Queen 01:57 💀
You put your phone down and picked up the invitation to your sister's wedding, 4 months... all you had was 4 months to get someone to go to the wedding with. You sighed, going to the app store and downloaded for the nth time, tinder. Cringing.
You had four months to at least meet some expectations, get a nice guy for maybe a month or two, ask him to be your plus one to your sister's wedding then what? You shrugged to yourself and shoved your phone under your pillow before going to sleep.
Chan realized he was screwed, he watched you get ready for another date.
"Honestly." You sighed sitting down to put on your makeup. "I might just go with a random guy. Or maybe I could take Hyunjin or Jisung."
He pursed his lips. Was he even an option for you? What made this guy from tinder so important you had to doll yourself up to go see him. Chan bit his lip, you were his best friend, he could fix the problem, he could be your plus one, he could ask. but he didn't. He was too scared to.
He remembered his conversation with Changbin and Minho a few days earlier. Maybe he was being too much of a pussy. He'd known you for ages, he knew how you liked your coffee and the music that calmed you down, he knew what part in silly romance movies made you cry, he knew when you were uncomfortable and when you were too angry to speak.
"If you keep beating around the bush with how you feel you might never get a chance."
Changbin's words rang in his ears and he bit his lip.
"Y/n what if-" He started.
The doorbell rang as you finished applying your lip stick. "Oh, I gotta go Channie." You stood and hugged him. "Wish me luck."
"Good luck." Chan gave you a small smile and the moment you were out the door he was cursing himself for not stopping you. "Damnit."
Chan wished he hadn't wished you luck. You and Seokmin, your date, apparently hit it off. For the next two and a half weeks Chan felt like a third wheel in his own friendship with you, if you weren't on the phone with Seokmin, you were texting him, and if you weren't texting him, you were talking about him.
It really came to a head when Hyunjin invited the entirety of the group chat to go out for karaoke and you were busy with Seokmin the day off.
It hand't really been his intention to show up at your place angry, just the thought of you not just ghosting him but the whole friend group. He knocked a few times. no response.
Chan knocked again. he still got no response. Sure the key in the dirt of the potted plant hanging under the sign of your apartment number was for emergencies only, but this was an emergency. (to him anyway.)
Chan opened the door and entered your apartment, expecting to hear lewd sounds or... what else was he really expecting. But as he approached your door his heart ached. It wasn't a sound he heard often from you but it was one he could recognize any day. Chan pushed the door open slowly. You sat on your bed, hugging a pillow, eyes red and puffy, tears streaking your face, you didn't notice him until he closed the door gently behind himself.
"Are you okay?" he asked quietly.
You quickly wiped your tears. "Of course, why wouldn't I be?"
Chan sighed. "Come here." He sat on the bed and opened his arms.
You leaned into him muttering, "Seokmin is a dumass."
"What happened?" Chan asked, rubbing your shoulder gently.
"He blocked me." You sniffed. "Out of the fucking blue."
Chan hummed softly. "His loss."
You looked up at your friend, "You're so dum."
"Nuh uh, I think I'm pretty smart princess." Chan smiled gently.
"I don't think so." You laughed softly.
He looked down at you. "'M smart enough to stay your friend."
You nod slightly, "I stayed attached to you at the hip is more like it."
"Didn't have a problem with it."
"Chan." You rubbed your friend's arm.
"Hm?"
"Go with me."
"Where?" he asked dumbly.
You sat up and flicked his forehead. "You know where."
"I don't get anything out of it." He rubbed his forehead.
"I'll uh..."
"Worry about it later." He huffed and stood, smoothing your hair. "Should we get (comfort food)?"
"I was wondering when you'd ask." You punched him softly and led the way out of your room.
The day of the wedding you were wearing a long pastel blue dress, and Chan a matching suit, it wasn't the first time you'd matched with your best friend, but this felt more special. Your grandmother and parents gave you side ways glances during the wedding procession, and once the reception had started so did your grandma's vulture like flocking.
"Y/N i really thought you would've come with someone other than Chan, maybe your sister was right you just need time." the old woman sighed.
You sucked in a breathe but Chan grabbed your hand under the table, his words making you freeze, "Is there a problem with me attending as her boyfriend?"
You turned to Chan and he squeezed your hand as if urging you to play along.
Your grandmother looked at you stunned. "What? Since when?"
"The dinner really opened my eyes, maybe guys don't approacher because I'm around, I do look like her boyfriend don't I?" He glanced at you, "Why not give it a shot?"
Your family must have heard your grandmother's cry because your mother and father came over a few moments later and you watched as Chan worked his charm, a mask on his face the entirety of the time.
Your sister looked between you and Chan, blinking quite a bit. As your parents congratulated you on not being single for the first time, you felt like you out did your sister, you looked at Chan, he smiled gently at you and your heart jumped.
After a lot of drinks and cake you decided it was time to head home.(Chan had to drag you out.)
The ride back to your apartment was quiet, you were too buzzed to speak and Chan was focused on driving.
Chan smiled softly, glancing at you. "Wasn't so bad was it?"
You took a moment before you spoke. "Did you mean what you said?"
Chan's brows furrowed, "About what?"
"Did you actually think of me like that after the dinner?" You looked at him.
Chan sucked a breath, squeezing the wheel. "Would you believe me if I said yes."
"I don't have a reason not to."
Chan pulled off the highway onto the smaller road that lead through the city and to your apartment.
"Well?" You asked.
Chan bit his lip and nodded. "I meant what I said."
You remained quiet until he pulled into your apartment complex. And even after he got you into your apartment. You stood there, looking at... Chan. Chan who knew you better than you knew yourself, Chan who always calmed you down, Chan who got angry for you, Chan who bought you food when you were sad and held you until you grew tired of it(you never did you never could), Chan your...
"You meant it?" You were completely sober now, picking up the conversation as if you hadn't been silent for the past half hour.
Chan nodded.
"Is that all there is to it?"
"No." he breathed, stepping closer to you.
"Tell me. What else?" You asked quietly.
"How do I even begin?" He laughed slightly. "I'm sorry-"
"Why are you apologizing?" You looked at him confused.
"For not telling you how I felt from the get go." he smiled, "If there's anything that makes me sleep at night it's you, if there's any place I feel safe it's with you. You make me more happy than I can describe with words alone, there isn't another person I'd be with in any life." He reached and caressed your cheek. "I wanted to fight myself when I let you go out with Seokmin. I want you, I need you, I..." He paused, scanning your face for a signal, any sign to keep going.
"You're going to shut up now when you're at the climax of your speech?" You laughed slightly.
He smiled and rolled his eyes, "I love you. I always have."
"You're really an idiot." You kissed him gently.
Chan blinked in shock. "I-"
You smiled, proud of yourself. "Now-"
Chan grabbed your face and pressed his lips to yours again, you stared for a moment before relaxing into the kiss wrapping your arms around his neck. His tongue fighting yours before he pushed into your mouth to taste you, biting your lip gently.
"Wanted to do that for so long." He breathed against your lips, pulling away slowly.
You grabbed his collar. "If you don't finish what you started I will."
Chan's eyes widened and a smirk grew on his face. He kissed you again and his hand moved to the back of your dress. "May I, princess?"
"You may." You giggled as he removed the dress and your made quick work of his buttons before he shrugged off the jacket and shirt, picking you up and carrying you to the bed.
You squeaked as he threw you onto the bed and got on top you. "Nervous?" he asked laughing lightly.
"No... Of course not." You said looking away.
He smiled and turned your head to face him kissing you passionately before he moved to suck a dark mark just next to your jaw. "So pretty, just for me."
You gasped softly and nodded. "Just for you Channie." Chan continued his assault on your neck before removing your bra and smiling at your chest, he kissed your lips gently. "This is my favorite part of you," He moved to kiss your chest, sucking a nipple into his mouth and biting gently, relishing in the cry that escaped your lips, "But this is second best."
You blushed, "Stop doing that?"
"Doing what?" Chan chuckled against your right breast, pinching the left.
"You-"
"Huh?" He kissed down your belly and bit hard beside your belly button.
"Ow-" You gasped and grabbed his hair.
"Gotta make sure they know you're taken if you wear a crop top." he murmured and moved lower kissing your thigh and pulling your legs apart. "This is mine hm? I think I waited for it long enough." He kissed your thigh before pulling your pantie off. He tossed it haphazardly over his shoulder. He took amount to admire you and you shifted slightly.
"Channie. You're staring." You muttered.
"That a problem princess?"
"Pervert." You rolled your eyes as Chan tugged you to the edge fo the bed.
He rubbed your clit with his thumb applying just enough pressure to make you moan, he smiled. "That feel good?"
You nodded, panting.
"Use your words." He said rubbing your clit a bit faster.
You moaned and tried to move away but his hand came to hold you down. "No, no."
You blushed, "Meanie."
He smirked kissing your belly before slipping a finger into you. You moan as your wall clenched around his digit, he moved it in and out slowly, thumb still working at your clit.
You gasped and bit your lip as he pushed another finger into you. He paused looking at you.
"What?" You tried to move for friction but he held you down.
"I want to hear you."
You blushed furiously, eyes wide.
Chan laughed lightly and started fingering you again, his middle and ring finger curling to find your g-spot.
You let out a loud cry and Chan smiled, he moved to kiss you, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth, he started grinding his palm into your clit as his fingers moved deeper. You moaned into the kiss and squealed, legs kicking slightly. Chan slid a third finger into you and you squirmed.
"It's too much!" You whined.
"I think you can take it." He said kissing your neck, "Just a little bit more, princess, wanna feel you cum on my hand."
You moaned louder as he pinched your nipple, sucking on the other one. You gasped as he started grinding his tented crotch against your thigh.
"Are you going to cum for me?" he cooed into your ear. "Cum for me, please, princess."
You moaned loudly as you came hard on Chan's hand.
He hummed and lifted his fingers to his mouth, licking them clean before leaning to kiss you. "You taste good babygirl." He stood to remove his pants letting them fall to the floor.
You moaned at the lewdness of the action as Chan moved between your legs, tapping his cock against your clit.
"I'm gonna make you feel good, make you mine." He said, his voice thick with lust.
You bit your lip and nodded. "Please. "
Chan smiled kissing you gently as he pushed into you.
A throaty moan erupted from your throat and Chan groaned. "Sound so pretty," He pulled out slowly and pushed in deeply, you cried out at the slight burn. "I'm sorry baby," He kissed your cheeks gently. "Can I move now?"
You nod and before you could ground yourself Chan was pistoning into you, fucking you as if he wouldn't get to again. You held onto him tightly, clawing at his broad shoulders. He moaned and squeezed your hips tightly. "You're so tight princess."
He moaned softly against your neck, kissing and biting, leaving marks that would surely become hickeys by morning, as he rutted into you over and over. You moaned louder, panting into the heated kisses he granted you. The bed creaked and slammed against the wall with the force of it all, the sound of sin slapping against skin filling your bedroom, you were positive the neighbors could hear but it wasn't like you had room to care.
Chan's hand slipped between your bodies and he began rubbing your clit. "C'mon baby. Cum for me again."
Your mouth fell open in a silent cry as he began thrusting into you harder, hitting your g-spot.
"Cum for me princess." He said through grit teeth.
Another thrust sent you toppling over the edge and you came hard, vision going white as you let out a broken cry. Chan followed quickly, his thick length throbbing inside you as you milked him for everything he had. He kept thrusting his gaze distant and glassy.
You whimpered and trembled as he overstimulated you slightly. After a few more thrusts he finally slowed down and relaxed on top of you.
"Let me take you out on a date..." He muttered against your shoulder.
"I'd like that." You said running your fingers through his curly hair.
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What da cringe ending 😭 I really want to thank everyone for 100 followers LOVE YALL <3 requests will reopen soon, I'm still busy with school but I hoped you liked this it took really long to make.
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woso-dreamzzz · 3 months
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Flirts III
Mapi Leon x Reader x Ingrid Engen
Summary: You have doubts
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You don't know when you start getting doubts.
You don't know why you start getting doubts either. There's no catalyst for it. There's no rhyme or reason.
Just, one day, when you're across the country working on a surgery, the thoughts come to mind.
Ingrid and Mapi just fit together. They have a push and pull that balances them so well. You can't help but wonder if you're ruining the balancing act.
You're the interloper here even if they were the ones that pursued you. Maybe you've made this into a bigger thing than they expected. Maybe they thought that they were just going to give you the best sex of your life and disappear into the sunset and you just got your claws into them and they were staying with you out of politeness.
Your thoughts aren't rational, you know this, but they still swirl in your mind when you return to Barcelona and break down in tears in your cousin's arms.
She looks more shocked and worried than the time you made her babysit your puppy.
"I love them," You choke out suddenly after several minutes of uncontrollable sobs," I love them so much."
"Mapi and Ingrid?" Patri asks," I don't see the issue here."
That just makes you cry harder. "I don't know if they love me back!"
"You're not making any sense," Patri says," Why wouldn't they love you back?"
"I don't know!" You snap. You're a bit annoyed that Patri's clearly not taking this as seriously as you'd like her to. "They're always together, at work, at home. I'm not around them as much! How could they possibly love me as much as I love them?!"
Patri grabs you by the arms and shakes you a bit. "You're overthinking, again. They love you even if they haven't said it yet. I know they do!"
"But how?!"
"Because I'm the smart one between us!"
You let out a little laugh as you wipe your eyes. "I think my degree in veterinary medicine would disagree with you there."
Even with Patri's reassurances, you still felt a little wary. But you pushed through it. Your cousin was many things but she wasn't a liar.
You definitely kept your distance a little bit though. You wait a few minutes to reply to messages, just to see if they'd take invitations back. You don't smother them in affection like you want to. You don't make the first move in anything.
"Are you coming to the match tomorrow?" Mapi asks one evening as you all sip wine on the terrace.
"Do you want me to?"
Ingrid sits up from where she was lazing around. She places her wine glass down on the table and captures your hands with hers. Her fingers gently rub over your knuckles.
"Why do you sound so unsure?" She asks," Hmm? What's going on?"
"Nothing's going on."
Her gaze turns cold and she pulls you to face her by your chin. "Don't lie to me," She says firmly," Or I'll have to remind you what happens to girls that do."
Your throat bobs at the reminder and you wiggle in your seat.
Mapi's moved closer to your other side, a hand resting on your thigh.
"What's going on?" She asks," You've been distant for days now. Even Patri's noticed it. She came to talk to us in training, did you know? If something's happened, you have to tell us or we can't help."
"Nothing's happened," You deny," Honest. I don't know...I just..."
"Just?"
"I love you," You declare suddenly, shocking even yourself with the conviction you say it," Both of you." The words hang in the air for a moment and you think this is it. It's gotten too real for them both. This is when they break up with you.
You squeeze your eyes tight.
Mapi moves behind you, her lips brushing up against the shell of your ear as she whispers," Good. We love you too, amor."
Ingrid's smirking when you open your eyes and she drags you in for a bruising kiss. It's sloppy as she slips her tongue into your mouth. When you pull away, you're panting.
"You're coming to the game, right?" Ingrid asks even though she already knows the answer.
You nod.
You end up in Ingrid's jersey for the match. Partly because it was the first one you saw that morning and partly because you knew that it made Mapi absolutely feral.
You wouldn't ever say that you understood football no matter how many times Patri tried to explain it to you but you could admit that you liked the way it made your girlfriends all flushed and sweaty by the end of the ninety minutes.
Ingrid's arms wrap easily around your waist as she helps you jump the barrier. She brings you into a kiss that's bordering the line of indecent in public and you barely have time to react before your head is turned and Mapi's kissing you too.
Her hand tugs on your shirt. "You're wearing Ingrid's jersey," She groans against your lips," God, amor, what are you doing to me?"
"You like?" You tease.
"I love."
Mapi pulls you for another kiss and this one is definitely not fit for the public as Ingrid rests easily on your back, your hips in an iron grip by her hands.
"You've gotten her riled up," Ingrid scolds though her tone is light and joking," We'll have to get out of her quickly before she make a scene."
"You're already making a scene," Pina complains from where she's standing nearby with Patri.
"Stop tonguing my cousin!" Patri says," It's disgusting! I told you not to do that where I could see it."
Mapi rolls her eyes. "And I told you to stop trying to police our relationship. You're not as intimidating as you think you are, amiga."
"I am so intimidating!"
"Patri," You laugh," I once saw you slip over an empty coke can and land in a bin. You're the least intimidating person I know."
She grumbles before pointing warning fingers at both of your girlfriends and storming off, pulling a laughing Pina in tow.
"She's so annoying," Mapi complains and you swat her.
"Hey, that's still my cousin. Be nice."
"She's not being nice to us!"
"Girls," Ingrid laughs," Come on. Let's get home." She smirks. "I think that we can spend our time doing something apart from arguing about Patri."
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wasteddmoondust · 5 days
Text
pineapple || james potter
pairing: james potter x reader 1,219 words, teacher and james go on their first date! what could go wrong? a/n: can you tell i am horrible at titling my fics... somehow i just need it to relate to what happens. so uh. enjoy!
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You feel your heart going absolutely crazy. You know it's first-date jitters, but somehow it feels worse this time. It's nothing special, really. You try to tell yourself. Just another first date. Just like other first dates (that has turned to nothing...) And now this first date is the father of one of the children you teach. Yeah, nothing special.
After several attempts to make yourself busy by looking at your phone, you hear your name. It's James and he's walking up to you.
"First name basis already?" you ask smugly.
He chuckles, "What? Sorry, I guess I'll just call you-"
"Please don't, I hate being called that outside of work."
"Got it."
The two of you walk together and he leads you to a quaint coffee shop, James swears by the coffee made here. When the orders are made you find a seat and sit down.
"It's been a while since I've been on a date," he says, hands fidgeting with the receipt.
"Same here," you admit.
He stops playing with the receipt and furrows his brows. "Really? But I'm the parent."
"And I'm the one taking care of your kid for a whole day, 20 kids, actually."
"Huh... and you don't even meet people in the industry?"
You snort. "Unfortunately no, a lot of them are older and married with kids. There's no one to date there. Trust me, even the older teachers try to make me get on dating apps. If anything, you're doing them a favour."
He grins that grin that makes your heart do a little flip. Oh god, it's happening, huh?
"I'm happy to do that."
You continue your conversation, keeping it light with small talk. Then, a waiter comes by to give you your meal and you both thank him. James' phone dings, he checks the message and he replies to it while you patiently wait for him.
He looks back up at you and keeps his phone. "Sorry, my best friend is taking care of Harry today, he was just sending an update."
"That's alright. Is he doing okay?"
"Harry?" he asks, looking a little nervous. His arms are resting crossed on the table. "Uh- yeah. He's fine. Not so sure about Sirius. He just said he's letting Harry use his tattoos as a colouring book."
You laugh. "Yeah, I can see that. He does love to colour. Have you always wanted to be a father?"
James looks stunned, but laughs it off. "Not a normal question for the first date, is it?"
"Well since you already are one," you shrug.
James thinks for a while before answering. "Yeah... I've always wanted kids... Well I'm sure you've seen from the documents I sent to the school when Harry enrolled. I'm widowed..."
You nod, you do in fact know this, you had read through those documents for every child. Understanding their family structure and dynamics can be a big help in understanding the child and improving their development in school and at home.
"She uh- had complications at birth and didn't make it." He let out a sigh and shrugged. "So now it's just me and Harry. And I wouldn't trade him for the world.
"You really love him, don't you?"
"I do."
"You know you can talk about him, right?"
James looks down and purses his lips. "It's just that... other people I've dated weren't really... keen on the fact that I have a kid. You know, another person's child and all."
You tilt your head down to try and make eye contact with him. Somehow, your hand reaches out to his. "You know that doesn't matter to me, right? I already knew you had a son, hell, I even taught him for a whole year, and I still accepted your date."
His mouth forms a small frown, but his hand grabs yours anyway. "I just didn't want to seem weird."
"You're not. Promise," you give his hand a squeeze.
"Is it too early to want to kiss you?"
You both stare at each other for a second before you burst out laughing, making him laugh too.
James starts to tell you about Harry, and visibly gets more comfortable the more he does it. He tells stories from his first words to potty fails. He shows videos and pictures. From there, the both of you fall into an easy rhythm of branching from topic to topic in your conversation. You exchange bites of your food. Before you know it, you're laughing while your meal is long done and you're both on your second cup of coffee.
For some reason, you feel an itch in your throat.
Nonchalantly, you ask, "Did your pasta have pineapple?"
"Yes, why?"
"Firstly, who the hell puts pineapple in pasta? Secondly, I think I'm having an allergic reaction."
James sits up in a panic. "Oh god- I'm so sorry-"
You cough into your first. "It's fine, it usually doesn't react as bad as it used to but I like to stay away from pineapples anyway. I'm not gonna die. Can you get me some cold water, please?"
He immediately stands up and gets you a glass from the counter. You down the glass in seconds and you feel better.
"I'm so sorry that was embarrassing-"
"You're sorry? I gave you a bite!"
"I forgot to ask, it's my fault."
He gently places a hand on your shoulder. "I'm so sorry, let me make it up to you"
"James, trust me, it's fine-"
"I'll bring you on a second date."
You furrow your brows. "You just saw me cough my lungs out from an allergic reaction and you still want to bring me out?" you can't help but laugh at the ridiculousness.
"I mean... I still find you attractive after all that so if you find me attractive after I rambled about my own child to you though you have taught him for this past year I don't see why not."
At this point, you're pretty sure your cheeks hurt from all the smiling you've been doing the entire time.
Despite your protests, James insists on driving you home. When you reach the entrance to your apartment building, he tells you to wait before rushing out of the car to open the door to the passenger's side. You giggle and take the hand he holds out to you as you step out of his car.
He tugs the hand that is holding yours to make you face him. He's so close, you're desperately hoping your cheeks don't show how flushed you are.
"So... same time next week?" you suggest.
He nods. "No pineapples this time, guaranteed."
"And you're allowed to talk about Harry."
He beams at that, looking down and letting out a sigh before looking back at you. "Is it still too early to kiss you?"
"Yes, but for now I'll give you this," you press a kiss to his cheek. You slowly walk towards your building, your arms stretching until you gently let go when you're too far away. "I'll see you next week!"
And like that, you disappear into the building. James is left standing there, still in disbelief of the entire day.
He lets out a sigh, smiling, and gets into his car. He 's so excited to tell Sirius when he gets home.
a/n: if i'm being so honest i have zero idea how most allergies work so please don't get technical with me... also!!!! thank you so much for the love on part one eek i am on a roll i'm so happy to be writing this series.
taglist: @willows-lane @celosiastarr @nsr-15
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sunny44 · 8 months
Text
What about us?
Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x ex!Reader
Warnings: mentions of loneliness, sadness, breakup, co-parenting and maybe more
Summary: Where Lewis hasn't been himself lately.
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Lewis and I met when I was working in the media department at Mercedes, I wouldn't say we fell in love at first, but he was definitely the guy I loved most in my life.
But unfortunately not everything we love stays in our lives forever.
We dated for 3 years and then when 2021 came, he was so devastated that the title was taken away from him that our relationship didn’t last.
He was so out of himself that u didn’t recognized him anymore, I seem like the man I love was taken away from me when he lost that day.
So that when we decided to go in separated ways.
But 3 months after i found out that u was pregnant with our daughter and we had to get our path together again. He said to me the day I told him about my pregnancy that I saved him for making the stupidest mistake of his life because he was about to retire from formula 1.
The internet already new that we weren’t together anymore but they just discovered my pregnancy when he posted about it.
We obviously will have a connection for the rest of our lives and I am extremely happy that we manage to be in good terms or co-parenting would have been harder.
I would be lying if I said it was easy because it wasn’t, the fact that we are separated makes Harley's schedule and routine harder than would be if we were together.
Today is Harley’s 3th birthday and I’m was going crazy with everything, she wanted a formula 1 themed party and it was all thanks to her father who got her addicted to the sport.
So here I was running around my apartment to decorate everything while she was with Sebastian and his wife.
Kika is here with Pierre and the other boys helping me with the party.
Lately he was kind of absent, he obviously came to see Harley but when I tried to talk to him, Lewis answered as little as possible and my messages he didn't even answer.
I had been trying to get him to help me with her birthday but now I was worried that he wouldn't come.
I hope he is only busy now in the afternoon because I will kill him if he doesn't show up.
We live in Monaco so some of the drivers came since they are all passionate about Harley.
This includes George, Pierre, Sebastian, Charles, Carlos, Daniel, Max and Lando.
Max and Lewis were not biggest fans of each other, far from it, but Benjamin his son was best friends with Harley so we met occasionally. And above all they treated each other with respect so we had an acceptable relationship for the sake of our children.
And Lewis hated that Harley adored Uncle Max.
The party had been going on for two hours and nothing came of him, I didn't know whether to be worried or angry.
"Mommy, where's Daddy?"
"I don't know my love, he should be here soon." She agrees a little discouraged but runs to where Ben and Max were.
"Anthony do you know where Lewis is?" I asked his father who was talking to my parents.
"I don't know darling, he said he would be a little late but he would come." I sighed in frustration. "I'll try to call him."
"Thank you."
He left to try to call his son and I went off to try to concentrate on distracting Harley with play.
He appeared in the middle of the party and I sighed with relief when I saw him coming through the door with Angela with him, Harley ran up to her father and I was happy to see her smile.
"How nice of you to come." I hugged Angela and she smiled.
"You've done well with the decorations." She said and I thanked her. "Can I talk to you? I want to take advantage of the fact that he's distracted by her."
I looked at the two of them and Harley was talking non-stop and he was listening attentively.
"Sure." We went into the kitchen where no one was around. "Is everything all right?"
"I'm not sure, I'm a bit worried about him."
"What happened?"
"I arrived at his apartment today and everything was a mess and he was asleep on the sofa." I was surprised because he rarely slept during the day and his apartment was always spotless. "I tried to talk to him but you know how he is, Lewis doesn't open up easily but he ended up saying that he wasn't happy and that he missed you both a lot."
"But we're always here."
"I think he misses a family." I sighed because I understood his feeling. "You know that he loves you both more than anything in the world and I remember when you were together he was planning to marry you, have children and have you live in a more secluded house so that you wouldn't be swallowed up by the media but from one moment to the next his plan became just a dream."
"I understand."
"And the only thing that's kept him going over the last few years is that little girl and the fact that you're her mother because that's what's kept you in his life. But he hasn't been the same for a while."
"I've noticed that he's been acting strange lately, he doesn't talk to me directly and avoids me whenever he can."
"Because he knows that you know him like the back of your hand and that you would know what was wrong with him." She takes my hand. "I'm not telling you this because I want you to feel guilty or anything, but I wanted to ask you to talk to him and try to help him in any way you can."
"All right, I'll talk to him after the party."
...
I said goodbye to the last few people and the only ones that were still around was Max, Ben and Lewis
"Buddy it's about time we go home." He says trying to talk the boy off the trampoline.
"Not yet Daddy, wait a little longer." He says short of breath from jumping around.
"If you don't mind I can take him to your apartment later."
"All right, thanks." He said goodbye and went home.
They kept jumping on the trampoline while Lewis was inside grabbing the trash.
After 10 minutes Bem said he was tired and i asked Lewis to watch Harley while I take him to his father and when I came back I could hear them in her room.
"I've missed you so much, Daddy." She says, already lying on her bed.
"I missed you too baby bear." She smiles tiredly and closes her eyes. He kisses her forehead and stays there for a few more minutes until he sees that she's asleep.
"Hey." He smiles as soon as he sees me outside her room. "I'm sorry I couldn't help, I got caught up with some work stuff."
He was lying but I knew it was juts for me not to worry about him.
"It's okay, I sorted it out." He smiled and went back into the living room. "Are you all right?"
"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?"
"Maybe because I know you better than you think." He sighs. "You don't have to tell me what it is, but I want you to know that I care about you."
"It's just that everything's been a bit too much lately."
"What do you mean?"
"The constant pressure at work, the media, the fact that I'm not there for you two every day. Everything." He turns to me. "I just don't know how much I can take anymore."
"Lewis..."
"I miss you, and I miss us, I miss Harley and this feeling that I'm good at what I do has been haunting me."
"But you are good."
"Apparently not so much because I can't even stand on the podium." I sighed. "I don't expect you to understand but I don't think I want to do this anymore."
"What do you want to do then?" He looks at me. "You know that Harley and I don't care if you're a driver or not, we care about you too much to worry about whether you're still in Formula 1 or not."
"It's just that I've lived this for so long that I just wish I could be with you every day without worrying about having to catch a flight to the other side of the world."
"I understand and I'll support you in whatever you decide.
"Thank you." I sat down on the sofa and nudged him to sit next to me, which he did, resting his head on my shoulder. "You know I love you, don't you?"
"I know, I love you too."
"But I love you in a way that..."
"I know, and I love you the same way." He looks at me. "I understood what you meant from the start."
"And what does that mean for us?"
"I don't know but we don't need to find out today, we have plenty of time." He smiles and we lie down on the sofa.
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Bonus scene!
Yourusername instagram post
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Liked by @lewishamilton, @susiewolf, @cherlesleclerc and others 293629
@yourusername I still can believe my baby is turning 3 years old today.
I’m so happy that I’m your mama and that I’m able to watch you grow and turn into this beautiful little girl.
I can’t imagine my life without you and I’m grateful for having you in my life.
Thank you @lewishamilton for making me a mama and for giving me the best gift anyone could ever give me.
Happy birthday sweet girl, mama loves you so much 🩵.
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Guys I have so many ideias for another chapters of Lewis being Harleys dad so if you guys want to read the next chapters let me know so I’ll tag you guys.
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paranormalworm · 6 months
Text
Admirer · C.B.
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Summary: you are in a argument with your boyfriend and receive a little gift.But as you were about to thanks him he gets even more mad… that’s when you realized it wasn’t from him.
Pairing: Coby brock x Fem OC
warning?: argument and rude things.
Author note: i saw that story on TikTok and it inspired me so just know that it is not 100% MY story <3 (Also English is not my first language so sorry if that doesn’t make much sense)
REQUEST ARE OPEN (no smut tho)
*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*✭˚・゚✧*・゚*✭˚・゚✧*・゚
Kyle was being a jerk. Again. Before, Kyle was the best thing you could imagine,Caring and thoughtful , everything you could dream of, but in the last few months Kyle had become cold, distant and even mean. He got a lot of messages from girls you thought were prettier than you, and it made you uncomfortable to know that he was replying to all of them, His excuse? "They're not doing anything wrong, it's thanks to them that I'm where I am, I have to answer them." Before the buzz, Kyle used to post you on his account from time to time, whether in stories, posts, etc... But now it was a whole different thing. It's like he was hiding you almost ashamed to have a girlfriend.
"Why don't you take me out on dates?" You yelled, "Or even give me nice flowers like you used to?!"
Kyle started laughing in your face.
"Do you hear what you're saying? This isn't a fantasy. We're dating now, I don't have to do all that anymore!"
You couldn't believe it. "I don't have to," like he's doing it out of obligation...the tears you've been holding back since the beginning of this argument finally roll down your cheeks, so you go to your room to gather a few things before you leave the apartment to join your friend Katrina. As you leave, Kyle doesn't even look at you, too busy talking to his "fans" on the live he just started. When you arrive, Kat is with her boyfriend Sam and his best friend Colby, you knew them since high school and you even had a thing with Colby at that time, so it was okay to let them hear everything so you explained everything to her and the guys probably heard you but you couldn’t care less... After a long evening and a relaxing night you came to the conclusion that you had to break up with him. The next morning you leave them hugging her and waving to the guys then drive to your apartment.
When you arrive, you see that flowers have been delivered to your door, along with a small box of chocolates, so you smile, happy that Kyle finally understood what you were talking about. You unlock the door and put the flowers and chocolate on the counter while you look for a vase in the closet. Kyle wakes up,enters the kitchen and stands there without saying a word. You turn around smiling and just as you are about to thank him, he cuts you off.
"What the hell is that?" He looked between you and the flowers, extremely confused. And now it's your turn to be confused. "What do you mean? Didn't you buy these?” And instead of talking, he aggressively picks up a piece of paper that was in the flowers, tearing off a petal, and reads the note aloud.
"He's right, real life isn't a fantasy, but you can make it one, if you were my girl I'd take you out on dates and buy you flowers every chance I get. Leave your shitty boyfriend, he doesn't deserve you. You know I'll make you happy. Lots of love.C."
You smile. You obviously knew who it was. And Kyle saw that. "WHO THE HELL IS C?!"
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heizlut · 2 months
Note
Monsterfucking with full form enjou
i’m obsessed with this and with everything you added when you messaged me! so i present to you:
Sacrificial Lamb
cw: blood, monster fucking, two tongues, degradation, size difference, belly bulge, squirting, loss of virginity, breeding, corruption, insecurity/comfort, labelling this as dark due to the blood
tags: virgin sub fem!reader, dom!enjou/abyss lector, mostly proofread (i tried my best)
m!list here
nsfw under the cut
a/n: this is a long one, so buckle up, keep both hands on the device, and enjoy the ride😉
.𖥔 ๋ .•⋆.𖤍.⋆•. ๋𖥔. .𖥔 ๋ 𖤍.
You weren’t unaccustomed to the traditions your people from the Dark Sea had when it came to worshipping those from the abyss. You grew up being told that in order for the abyss to live on and grow even stronger, women of your people were sent as a sacrifice to become an abyssal being’s bride. Whether that was a fact or not, the information intrigued you.
As you grew older, your fascination with the abyss and the creatures that come from it grew into an obsession. You prayed to whatever was listening that you, too, could be the sacrificed bride to one of their beings. Little did you know, your prayers were being answered.
Enjou was the one who heard your pleas to the abyss and he had taken quite an interest in you. He made sure to stay hidden as he watched you go about your days; enamored with the way you looked, talked, laughed, especially the way you often had your head buried in piles of books as you read anything you could find that had to do with the abyss. You were perfect for him.
It didn’t take long for you to get the news that your dreams were finally coming true. Your people dressed you in beautiful, thin white dress that grazed the ground as you walked. When they were done with their preparations, they wished you all the best with bright smiles, yet you failed to catch the hint of fear in their eyes. They knew it wasn’t likely that they’d ever see you again.
Once you reached the edge of your nation, a dark, swirling portal appeared in front of you. You were practically shaking with anticipation; the moment you've been dreaming about for years... From the portal steps a...regular looking human? Sure he stood tall at 6'1", but he seemed so..regular for something that was coming from the abyss.
He looked down at you with the most elated expression, but quickly schooled it as to not alarm you. He pushes his glasses up his nose and gives a soft smile, "Hello, dear~ Let me introduce myself, I am Enjou." You study him for a moment with furrowed eyebrows. Although confused by his appearance, you feel something in your heart pulling you to him.
Your expression shifts into one of sweet innocence as you smile and introduce yourself, "So, I'm your bride or..." You peek around his shoulder at the swirling portal. Enjou chuckles, amused by you, "Are you not satisfied with what you see? Were you expecting me to appear as a monster for our first introduction?" Your cheeks go red and you look down, too embarrassed to meet his golden eyes.
You were so innocent... Twisted thoughts flooded Enjou's mind and he reaches out, gently taking your jaw between his fingers and raising your head, "No need to be embarrassed, darling~ Come with me and I'll show you everything." The sound of his voice and the way he interacted with you made you feel as though you were melting. He releases your jaw, holding his hand out for you to take. With your hand in his, he takes you through the dark portal.
You feel a bit dizzy once you make it through, instinctively leaning your body against his toned one. Enjou laughs softly, feeling like he's falling even harder for you. You were so sweet, naive, and fragile. He wanted to ruin you, but with the best of intentions of course. Once your blurry vision adjusts and you regain your footing, you find yourself in a grand hall. It was dimly lit and seemed to pulse with the energy that feeds into the abyssal realm.
Your breath seems to get caught in your throat from the overwhelming power within and you wince. Enjou stops, standing in front of you now with a look that seemed to be a combination of pity and perverted delight, "You'll get used to this feeling." He leans down, his lips grazing your ear as he speaks in a low, suggestive tone, "You may even grow to crave it." You shiver at his words, but can't help the arousal that begins to pool between your legs.
Enjou straightens up and beckons you to follow him. He leads you to a large bedroom that was bigger than the home you used to reside in, "Welcome home, darling..." You look up at him with round eyes, your lips parted slightly, "This is for me?" That look on your face made his cock twitch and he has to restrain himself from ruining you right then and there, "For us", he corrects you.
Your gaze falls to Enjou, studying him once more, "Can I... See your other form?" Enjou's smile grows wide as he takes a step back, "Eager to see your husband in his true form?" His laugh is dark as his transformation begins. Now standing before you, much taller than his human form at almost 10' tall. You couldn't tear your eyes away from the pyro abyss lector with sharp, long fingers, a dark mask adorned with five curved horns that hid his face, and glowing orange eyes.
Enjou's laugh is much deeper now, "See something you like?" Even in his abyssal form, he was still a tease. You nod timidly and he steps towards you, "I'm sure you're aware that in order to consummate our marriage, you'll need to take me in both forms. And once we do so, the abyssal energy will make you immortal like me." "Yes, I'm aware...", your voice was soft as usual, but your cunt pulsated at the thought of taking him in his current state. "Then be a dear for me and take off that dress~"
You freeze. Obviously you knew you had to be bare before him, but you had always been particularly insecure about the little scars left all over your body from insect bites and the body hair between your legs. You feared he would find you unappealing and send you back. Sensing your hesitation, Enjou tilts his head slightly, "Is something the matter?" You sigh as you fidget with the material of your dress, "What if you don't like how I look? What if you..." You trail off and he takes your small hand in his large one, "I highly doubt that."
His tone was so sincere despite being distorted by his abyssal form. You chew at your bottom lip and finally give in. You slowly slide the straps of your dress down your shoulders, letting the thin, white material fall gracefully to your feet. Enjou is speechless at the sight as he took in every inch, every scar, and the cute patch of hair between your legs. You took his silence as disgust and you quickly reach down for your dress, but he stops you with the sound of your name.
You look up at him in shame that you had no real reason to be feeling. "I've never seen one as beautiful as you. Please... Don't cover yourself from me", his voice deep, but soft. You look up at him as if he hung the stars themselves, "Then... Where do we begin?" If Enjou could smile in this form he would, "Lay on the bed and spread your legs." Your breath catches once more as you lay on the bed, shaking slightly when you spread your legs open for him. The view alone made him want to devour you, but he couldn't discount the fact that you were a virgin. Oh how he planned to take his time teasing and corrupting your sweet little body and mind...
Enjou squats down, now eye-level your untouched cunt. Your eyes widen when two unnatural, pointed tongues slithered out from under his mask. Enjou chuckles darkly, "You'll enjoy this, darling. Trust me." Before you could protest, one tongue begins to leisurely flick against your clit while the other begins to prod at your tight hole. A drawn out moan escapes your lips, a noise you'd never heard yourself make before.
The sensations were so overwhelming, you dropped your hold on your thighs, making them squeeze against Enjou's mask. Without pulling away, he smacks your thigh and his voice growls from within him, "I told you keep those legs spread." With a whimper, you regain your grip on your thighs, trying your best to keep them spread as he demanded. "There's a good girl~", his tone dark and dripping with lust as his tongues begin to move with more fervor.
It doesn't take long for you to come undone, your juices coating the tongue that had been poking at your hole. To his surprise and great delight, the taste of your virginal blood was on his tongue. Your legs shake with overstimulation when Enjou gives a final flick of his other tongue on your swollen clit.
He leans back, satisfied with his work, and begins removing his cock from under his armor. Your lips part slightly as your eyes take in the throbbing length. Enjou's large hand encircles it, squeezing the clear pre cum from it's tip as he lets out a breathy groan, "Look at you... Fucked out already when I haven't even gotten to the best part~ Go on. Lemme hear you beg for me to ruin you." Your own arousal begins to leak onto the sheets, "Please make me yours..."
Your sweet voice carrying such a naughty request drives him wild and he wants to keep teasing to hear more filthy things comes from your lips, "Be specific, dear~ What do you want and where do you want it?" Your voice trembles, not just from nervousness, but from unbridled desire, "I... want your cock in my pussy." Enjou's laughter is twisted and dark as he positions his large body over your small one. One tongue licks its way up your neck while the other trails over your breasts, "As you wish~"
Enjou lines his reddened tip against your glistening entrance, gently pressing against it. You squirm as you feel a newfound pressure, "Wait, no! It won't fit, please!" "I'll make it fit", and with that Enjou, pushes his length into your tight, gummy walls with growl that claws at his throat. You cry out as you're stretched beyond what you could handle and you desperately claw at his shoulders. Once his cock is buried to the hilt, he speaks, "I'm going to move now."
You try your best to protest, but he begins to thrust in and out, slowly at first. Enjou looks down to where you two are connected, letting out a choked laugh that morphs into a groan when he sees your blood and sticky arousal cover his cock, "Look at the mess you're making all over my cock~ I want more."
He pulls out, leaving just the tip inside, then slams into you, beginning a ruthless pace. He was going feral at the sight of your lower abdomen bulging with the outline of his dick. If Enjou had been in his human form, you certainly would have drawn blood from the way you clawed at his back.
Your cries morph into moans of pleasure as his cock bullies into you, shaping it to fit only him. The flood of abyssal energy bleeds into your mind as something begins to shift inside of you. What was originally blinding pain came a new, dark and twisted sensation of uncontrollable lust. You wrap your legs around Enjou's toned waist, pulling him ever closer to you. Needing to feel every inch of his cock as it ruined you forever.
With a deep growl, Enjou's cock throbs wildly inside of you as his orgasm draws closer, "I'm gonna breed this slutty hole. Fuck you so full of my cum til your stomach aches with how full it is." He presses his hand to the outline in your lower abdomen, "Look how full of me you are already. Your body is so greedy~" Your eyes roll back as you let out a loud moan. Your cunt clenching around his length as you reach your climax, squirting all over his cock.
The mess before him and the way you clench so tightly around him bring him over the edge. Seemingly endless spurts of hot cum fill you up as the abyssal energy surrounding you two grows even stronger. After giving you both a moment to catch your breaths and come down from your highs, he slowly pulls out of you. A mix of both your releases and blood leak from your ruined hole. He simply can't resist using one of his tongues to lick it up, not caring that his own cum was amongst the mix.
After licking you clean, Enjou stands up and shifts into a semi-human form. Your eyes were glossy as you tried to prop yourself up on your forearms. You were fully affected by the abyssal energy that consumed the both of you and you needed more. Needed him. Enjou's golden eyes take you in. You looked even more beautiful panting and looking so desperate. He gives you a soft smile as he gets on top of you again, pressing a kiss to your forehead, "I hope you haven't forgotten that you need to take me in this form too."
Your lips curl into a tired smile, the new energy within you giving you confidence you didn't know you had. You take Enjou by surprise when you straddle his lap, grinding your pussy against his still oversized length. Enjou's surprised expression turns to a smirk as he places his hands on your hips, grinding up into you to meet your pace, "My beautiful bride... Are you really so needy for me~?" You nod you head as you keep up your movements on top of him, letting your slick coat his length.
Enjou chuckles, his voice gritty and low, "Then by all means, take what you desire." You reach behind you, taking hold of his thick cock, lining it up to your core once more. Your head rolls back and your eyes flutter as you sink down onto him. His grip on your hips tightens, letting out a hiss when he fills you up. Once you adjust to the feeling again, you being to move. Bouncing on his cock with your hands on his chest to keep you steady.
Enjou is mesmerized by the way you move. He leans up, opening his mouth to let his two tongues explore your breasts. One tongue flicks one nipple as the other wraps itself around the other nipple. You open your eyes, meeting his lustful gaze makes him smirk at you. Fuck, he was really something else. The tongues toying with your breasts and the way his cock makes your lower abdomen bulge as it drags against your walls...
It doesn't take much longer for your cunt to squeeze his length again as you let out a such a filthy sound when you cum. Enjou groans deeply when he releases inside of you for the second time that evening. You collapse on top of him, breathless and not caring that he was still inside of you. Your head rests against his chest, listening to the steady thump of his heart. Enjou runs his fingers through your hair, peppering your forehead with kisses. The action makes you nuzzle into him with an embarrassed groan, "Quit that..."
You were so cute, Enjou couldn't help the laugh that escaped as he puts his fingers under your chin to have you look up at him, "Why would I quit kissing my bride when she's the most beautiful and sexy thing that I'm lucky enough to have?" Your cheeks blossom with red, but before you can hide your face in his chest once more, he kisses you on the lips with a gentle passion that makes you feel whole. Enjou looks deep into your eyes with a look of undying love for you, "My sacrificial lamb... Forever mine."
.𖥔 ๋ .•⋆.𖤍.⋆•. ๋𖥔. .𖥔 ๋ 𖤍.
a/n: whew, i put my heart and soul into this one. i would’ve kept going but it’s long enough as it is 😅
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dduane · 1 year
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An anonymized non-anon query
(A note: my ask box isn’t open to anons at the moment, because I started getting inappropriate messages that I didn’t care to see. Maybe I'll eventually go anon-open again. But the present situation isn’t going to stop me from answering asks where the person’s uneasy about having their username revealed. Like this one:)
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[text:
Can't go on anon so this is a little mortifying to be Seen™ but;
Do you have any words for fandom girls who are no longer in their 20s and starting to construct people in their heads who shame them for "still being into this stuff"?]
First thing; funny how it's always fandom girls who come up against this, isn't it? If it was some 90-year-old fandom boy in question who'd been painting his face red and white and following Manchester United since he was nine, no one would turn a hair. In fact, everybody in that cohort of interest would be praising him for his commitment and loyalty. It's almost as if some people have bought into the idea that the rules are different for girls somehow! Something to do with the idea that where girls belong is home making everybody a sandwich. I wonder where that might have come from...
Anyway. What you're describing here is something a lot of us have run into: the pressure to (allow me briefly to stand the well-known trope on its head) Be Like All The Other Girls... and to be prepared (and indeed resigned) for that inevitably to happen IRL. This stuff starts sneaking into your head in a very innocuous way: by disguising itself as "being prepared" for what you're afraid might happen. And it's very hard to avoid having that concern slowly but surely turn into a dread of what's going to happen. (For there's a horrible seductiveness about self-fullfilling prophecy... even if you know you've built it yourself. Part of your mind, that frightened advanced-fight-or-flight part that's always trying to keep you safe by predicting all the possible futures, starts feeling satisfied with itself when it finally has the evidence to say, "Well, at least we were prepared for that!")
So it's best to be proactive about managing this, I think, before things start to get bothersome. Develop a quick switchblade-style defense that you can pull out of your brain's back pocket at short notice. And then, when you're used to using it on those rogue ideations, disarm the sneaky "attacker" more thoroughly by taking it apart, gradually, at the more straightforwardly analytical end.
Let's start with the switchblade: a good-old fashioned mantra. How about this:
"Nobody gets to gatekeep my joy."
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This can be used as a silent affirmation any time you feel the need. Any time you start feeling that pressure—that annoying whisper from the conjectural voices in your head that want you to think about how maybe you are too old for this kind of thing—pull out the mantra and shiv them in the gut with it, three times. (Threes are always good for this. Think how many spells have to be done, or names spoken, in threes. The rhythm's an archetype all its own.)
What you'll notice, with repetition of this intervention over time, is that the incidence of this kind of thinking gradually gets rarer and rarer. It might take a while to go away completely... but you'll know what to do if it rears its head again.
But also: this response can when necessary be repeated right out loud in front of whatever sorry piece of breathing meat has the unutterable bald-faced gall to actually try to gatekeep you to your (digital or otherwise) face. Pull it out, set your features in an expression of amused calm (because what you do to your face makes differences in your brain), and hit 'em with it. And if they continue to try to argue the point with you, you get to just keep repeating your base-state mantra until they give up and go away.*
...Now, since good mantras normally run deeper than the mere words, it makes sense to inquire into an underlying issue:
Why do people do this to other people? (And I don't mean this as a rhetorical question with optional eyeroll: I mean it as a possible diagnostic.) There has to be a reason people pull this shit... as mandated by the favorite (different) mantra of psychiatric professionals everywhere: "All behavior is motivated."
One aspect of this to consider: the "you're too old to be into this stuff" response is usually a learned behavior. People for whom the perception of "insufficient" age or maturity is an issue have routinely picked it up from others. There are a number of reasons why they parrot it... the likeliest being that simply want to be seen saying the thing that lots of other people they know also say; so that by so doing, they can be seen as Smart. (This is of course just another a manifestation of our old generally-maladaptive friend, the so-called herd instinct.) And nine-tenths of those other people, I can guarantee you, got it in turn from others still. "They're too old for this" is rarely going to be a spontaneous insight. (Except when used pertinent to certain contact sports, and some types of opera.)
Yet why does the trope perpetuate itself so enthusiastically?
Leaving aside personal living-arrangement issues in individual cases, I think it's because in some people, underneath the expressed trope, there's a genuine fear... an insidious variation of the well-known impostor syndrome. And it's this:
They're afraid that whatever it is they've got at the moment, it's may well be the wrong kind of "this stuff"... not a real joy. (Some people will take this to mean, "The kind of stuff, or joy, other people will approve of." Cf. the "seeming Smart" thing.) And, as they get older, they may be becoming afraid they may never have it.
Now, people naturally try to protect themselves from experiencing their own fears whenever possible. This one's no different. So one way such folks find to distract themselves from the fear of having no joy is to devalue such joy in others. That way, whatever they see themselves as having their noses spitefully "rubbed in" can be perceived as no longer a real threat to them. They can start seeing it as a bad joy, a weak or silly or stupid joy. And (in this case specifically) an immature joy.
(With this in mind, the passage in which C.S. Lewis deals with this toxic fetishization of "maturity" is worth quoting in full, since we so frequently see only the last couple/few lines:)
“Critics who treat 'adult' as a term of approval, instead of as a merely descriptive term, cannot be adult themselves. To be concerned about being grown up, to admire the grown up because it is grown up, to blush at the suspicion of being childish; these things are the marks of childhood and adolescence. And in childhood and adolescence they are, in moderation, healthy symptoms. Young things ought to want to grow. But to carry on into middle life or even into early manhood this concern about being adult is a mark of really arrested development. When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up.”
...And you hear there the voice of a man who'd dealt with a whole lot of critics in his time on this subject—some of them quite famous and elevated types, trying to discredit him for what we'd now think of as "clicks"—and had routinely made them ever so sorry they'd engaged. Also, Lewis was an enthusiastic reader of "the pulps" until his dying day, and you should have seen some of his responses to those who tried to tell him that "at his age, he should be over that science fiction stuff by now." I'd have to go digging for the cites, but... hooboy.
Anyway, and as a closer:
You're not required to—at someone else's mere behest—even think about changing your way of thinking and living in the (probably hopeless) hopes of pleasing or placating other people you've never met. And most specifically:
You are in no wise required by the Universe to curtail your personal experience of joy in order to try to make scared and small-souled people more comfortable.Your soul gets to be its own size, and have its own joy... in its very own shape, volume, and richness.
So if anyone pulls the "You're too old for [x]" crap on you, I encourage you to just let that attitude sail on by you and fuck straight out into the Oort Cloud and beyond. Let passing alien spacecraft on their way in-system gaze at it in wonder and say, "Wow, look at that go! Didn't think they had warp drive here yet."
...Anyway: let me know how you get on.
HTH!
*This is a basic assertiveness-training technique that I feel is much undervalued in daily usage. Every time someone comes up with a new reason you should stop doing what they don't like, and expects you to respond to that... what makes them think you're required to come up with a new and different reason not to? Who made that concept up? And why waste useful originality on someone arguing with you in the kind of bad faith that refuses to accept your answers? Just keep repeating yourself with the main reason until they give up (probably in great exasperation: too bad...) and bugger off elsewhere. :) ...But see the useful 1970s work When I Say No, I Feel Guilty for effective DIY approaches to this problem.
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carakook · 2 months
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Bloom. °˖✧✿✧˖°
"Please don't slam the door in my face. Please just let me talk to you for a bit, I promise I'll behave."
→ Chapters list ←
⚘2. Wild Flower
🔞For Mature Audiences Only🔞
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⚘Pairings: Jeon Jungkook x fem!reader
⚘Synopsis: Y/N attempts to cope with the end of the affair and stay firm in her decision to go no-contact with Jungkook. Jungkook, however, is a fucking mess, and it has barely been a few days. He is going insane. He knows this is for the best... but he also knows they both deserve closure. Y/N especially... she will never fully bloom without it.
⚘Genre:Forbidden love
⚘Word count: 2K+
⚘Warnings: 18+ for mature audiences only, MDNI, emotional, mentions of cheating, mentions of sex (no smut, but it is talked about), mentions of pregnancy, mentions of toxic masculinity, mentions of arguing, let me know if I miss anything!
⚘Disclaimer: This story in no way reflects the characters of those who are mentioned. It is pure fiction and for entertainment purposes only. Please don’t take it seriously. Nothing is real in this story.
⚘A/N: Chapter two! This one is a bit short, but the next chapter will be much longer, this chapter is meant to give some context to their past and how things ended up this way. I truly hope you like it, and chapter three will be out shortly.
╚══ ❀•°❀°•❀ ══╝
↻ ◁ II ▷ ↺ ᴺᴼᵂ ᴾᴸᴬᵞᴵᴺᴳ :
♪Over - Lucky Daye (y’all this one is important, fits the vibe so well)
♪I bet on Losing Dogs - Mitski
✧━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━✧
That weekend, you’re in shambles.
Hundreds of missed texts and calls. All from him. All tempting you to run back to him like you always do. But you haven't answered. You can't, and you won't.
His texts range from saying things like,
"I'm sorry. Can we please just talk?"
"Now you're leaving me on read? What the fuck?"
"I'm going crazy. Please talk to me."
"I want to hate you right now. Fuck."
"I do fucking hate you. I regret you."
"That was a lie, I could never hate you, I love you, so fucking much. I don't regret anything with you."
"You haven't blocked me and I can see you reading my messages so I'm not gonna stop until you answer me."
"Fuck wait, don't block me, please don't."
"Please Y/N."
It stopped there. The last plea and you left it unanswered. Because with each message he sent, even though you didn't text him back, you sent a tiny piece of your heart his way. He just doesn't know it.
If you weren't hurt, you'd find this entire thing so fucking amusing because, clearly, the man is losing it. He's acting like a desperate teenager who is overly attached to his girlfriend. Like a lost puppy. A man-child who's too persistent for his own good. So cute.
Except for the fact that you're not his girlfriend. You're his mistress, and oh fuck, that label leaves such a dirty and disgusting taste in your mouth.
He would never address you as such. As a matter of fact, as you're laying on your couch drowning in your own self-pity and a bottle of cheap wine, he remains in his second apartment, thinking precisely the opposite.
Thinking about the fact that you were never a mistress. You were so much more. As fucked up as it sounds, you were more than his wife is to him currently. He's never felt so loved, but also never loved someone so damn hard. You own his soul, and he's panicking at the thought that he'll never get it back. You've run away with it and refuse to let him in enough to steal it back.
But the thing is, he doesn't want it. He wants you to have it. If he could, he'd wrap it up in the most expensive wrapping paper, decorate it with stickers and bows, and hand it to you. But you stole it; you didn't give him the chance.
You didn't mean to. Fuck, you didn't want it. You don't even realize how much he loves you. You refuse to realize it because it'll only make it so much more painful. It's easier to believe that he loves his wife, not you. That he'll stay with his wife, not you. That he'll be happier with her, not you. It's so much easier because, despite the bitter pain in your heart, your one wish out of all of this is his happiness and well-being.
You know nothing about his marriage. Jungkook realizes this now. He never intentionally kept his marriage from you, but it was so easy to just forget about it when he was with you.
Because he wants to forget.
He once loved his wife and thought for sure he would never love anything or anyone more than her. They were young and in love, married each other while they were fresh out of college like dumbasses. He was a lovesick boy with her. He thought she was the prettiest, most precious thing ever to exist.
Until things changed.
After college, she changed. She has always been more mature, ever since they first met. But she created this power dynamic between her and Jungkook; she saw herself as more than him. She started looking down on him because of his choice of career... because of his choices in life in general.
One thing about Jungkook is he listens to no one. He's a selfish man in some ways and does not give a shit about anyone's opinion. But she was his wife. So it created some tension when she expressed she didn't want him to be some indie photographer; she wanted him to do something better with himself. She wanted him to try and make it big, like some sort of Hollywood hotshot working for celebrities, because he damn sure has the talent.
But he wanted something much more simple. He just wanted to take pictures. Of anything, everything, for anyone. He told her he wouldn't do that. He wouldn't waste his years of college to do something he didn't want to do. He didn’t drown himself in student debt to end up unhappy. Regardless of the money, he just wanted to capture the beauty in other people.
He has his own little business, and it does well. So well that his wife could stop working if she wanted to and continue living her lavish lifestyle. He's one of the most loved photographers in Seoul, but that's all. People enjoy the fact that he's humble and keeps things simple while providing them with photography skills that you can't get anywhere else.
His wife doesn't like this.
She wants more. Always wants more.
It was the first time he denied her wishes.
And it was the first time he realized that maybe this woman was not what he had thought she was all the years he had been with her.
The dynamic switched quickly. He went from lovesick puppy to stray dog, constantly feeling like he didn't belong with her, like he didn't have a place with her anymore. But he married her, dedicated several years of his life to her, and didn't wanna leave her. Marriage is hard sometimes… surely they could overcome it.
That’s what he thought, anyway. But as time went on, it became clear that this wasn’t just a rough patch. God, he fucking wishes so badly that it was just a rough patch.
The one thing that made him start thinking impulsively was the bomb she dropped on him shortly before he met you.
"No, Jungkook, I don't want kids. Not now, not ever, so drop it."
"Woah- what? We've talked about this before baby... I don't understand. What changed your mind?"
"You. I'm content with what we have, and I don't want to focus on some mini-Jungkook running around and causing chaos in my future. We're fine as we are."
That was the day that he realized, holy fuck, I don't love this woman anymore. This isn’t just some rough patch. She is not the woman he fell in love with years ago… maybe she never was.
Because he had the same thought but the polar opposite, her words stung him in a way he'd never felt. He has always imagined a mini-her running around, and it made him swoon. It made him feel so many warm fuzzies inside. But she clearly didn't feel the same. And the fact that she would view a child made by them both as a nuisance just because it was his? That broke his heart.
Kids have always been such a huge deal to him. He loves them. He is a huge kid himself. He's always wanted to be a dad one day and always imagined it would be with his wife. He used to fantasize in college about it, about his little babies running around while he made his little family breakfast; she knew it, too. She knew he wanted kids, and she always fed into these fantasies, adding onto them and making them seem real and plausible.
But it never was real. It was all an illusion to keep him under her leash.
She never wanted kids. She just wanted to keep him.
And he knows that now. It makes him sick.
After that conversation, he quickly put up barriers with her. Although he couldn't bring himself to divorce her, he distanced himself. And she didn't even notice, which is what gave him the confidence to pursue you.
He just wanted to feel something. He couldn't even touch his wife anymore. Couldn't even get hard by her. And she humiliated him for it. She made him feel like he was broken and gross. Dirty. It's similar to your feeling but in a completely different context.
And she wasn't willing to help, either. He had tried to confide in her, be honest, communicate. He tried to work it out, wanted to find ways to make it work, wanted to be able to touch her again. He offered couples counseling and maybe a doctors visit to make sure his junk wasn’t broken like she swore it was. But the moment she saw he wasn't hard for her like he always had been? She, too, put up her walls. She distanced herself and never mentioned sex again. Hardly even looked at him in such a way.
He wouldn't doubt if she was cheating, too. In fact, he knows in his gut that she started cheating on him way before he did on her. He doesn't have the balls to confront her either, considering he feels he's the reason for her straying away. He can't give her what she needs. He feels like he's not good enough for her. For anyone. Not even for you.
It's a mess.
So that night he saw you at the club, dancing with your friends, that sweet smile on your face that could end a war, he wanted you. Oh, he wanted you so bad.
At first, it was just lust. Seeing the way that you moved, so sensual and sinful, but mixed with that innocent smile? It was a deadly combination that left his dick twitching.
Never once did he think it would be a constant. He was sure it'd be one time, which is why he didn't disclose his marriage to you at first.
It was thrilling for him. He knew it was wrong; he felt like a child who was sneaking out and doing shit behind his parent's back, stealing cookies from the cookie jar. But he hadn't felt a thrill in months, hadn't been touched in months, hadn't even been looked at in months.
So when you noticed him staring, and your cheeks turned faintly red under the club lights? And you tried to look away? But then he saw you whispering to your friends and panicking, whisper-yelling, "He's so hot- he's looking at me- oh god, I'm gonna puke, look at him!"
Yeah. That was what he needed. He needed someone to stroke his fragile little ego that his wife tore to fucking shreds. And your over dramatic, yet sweet reaction? It made him so fucking cocky.
One time. Just once. Just a little taste to keep me sane. That's what he told himself.
But when he finally got that taste of you? When he saw the way you looked at him while he was above you? The way you whined when he kissed you? The way you acted like you'd never been touched before? And then when he felt you? Felt how tight you were, felt how much you wanted him, how you seemed like you had not been with many men? It did it for him. It started an addiction.
You made him feel wanted in a way his wife didn't. In a way that she never did.
You healed a part of him while also causing him to grow. To flourish. To become himself again.
He doesn't even care if it's sinful circumstances. He's just thankful for you. So fucking thankful. When he dies and gets sent to hell, he will personally thank satan himself for giving him the ability to sin with you.
Maybe in hell, he can even have you.
He knows that even with all of that, it doesn’t make what you’re both doing right. No matter what excuses his mind conjures up, none of it is ok. Cheating is never ok. He should’ve never pursued you. He should’ve never kept it going. He should’ve never even been in that fucking club that night. Or, he should have fessed up. Should have told his wife, left her, fuck, he should’ve done something different.
He should’ve saved you both. But he didn’t. Because he’s selfish. And he’s so fucking scared.
And even then, he could never regret you. Never.
This is why, as he sits in the bedroom of his second apartment, staring directly at the perfume bottle that fell out of your purse and onto his floor as you ran away, he made a decision.
One that he wasn't happy with.
He's a coward. He feels as if he can't leave his wife. There are so many reasons as to why, but the main one is that he's in so deep with her. Has a whole life with her. She's part of him. So he can't leave her. He wants her to leave him. And he secretly hopes that one day, she will. It’s selfish, wrong, but that’s how he feels.
However, he can't let you leave without making sure you know how much he loves you.
It's fucked up. He knows it is. He knows that when you love someone, you'll do anything to be with them. But he's a coward.
He still loves you, though. Loves you more than he even understands. Right person, wrong time. And it’s so fucking painful.
So he gets his shit together. He takes a shower, shaves, makes himself look less of a mess, and starts making his way to your apartment without announcing himself.
He knows if he tells you, you'll refuse to let him in. He knows you're trying to move on. And he wants to help. But he can't let you go until you understand the extent of his feelings.
And maybe, just maybe, has one last taste.
This is something you don't expect him to do at all. He's never pushed himself on you. He's never been the type to show up without an invite, or at least a little heads up first.
Which is why when you hear a knock on the door, you don't think anything of it. You ordered pizza. The best heartbreak food. So you grab your wallet and pull out a some cash, swiftly opening the door and saying with a pout and sniffle,
"Keep the chan-"
That's not the pizza guy. Nope.
That's him. And fuck, you feel yourself melting. Your heart turns to molten hot lava and burns you from the inside out.
He smiles sheepishly, and he holds out a single flower. He didn't buy it. It's a tiny little purple wildflower that looks a bit wilted, much like yourself. Pitiful. And clearly, he picked it on the side of the road on his way here.
This is the kind of shit that makes you feel like maybe, just maybe, the guilt is worth it.
"Please don't slam the door in my face. Please just let me talk to you for a bit, I promise I'll behave."
"Leave."
You swiftly say as you begin to do exactly what he asked you not to. You honestly weren't going to do it; you were already thinking that if he asked you to stay, you would. But then he said that, and it brought you back to reality.
But he doesn't let you.
His arm darts out, holding the door from shutting entirely. He pushes it open, steps in quickly, closes it behind him, and looks at you with an intense desperation you've never seen before. Looks like a lost fucking puppy, or maybe a puppy who’s been put outside by their owner.
A lost puppy for you… a stray dog for his wife.
And then he gets on his fucking knees and begs.
Looking up at you, with the tiny purple wildflower, still in his hand, it drops down to his side in defeat. He's gripping it so tightly that it's losing its life quickly. The same exact way he’s clinging to the connection you share as if he’ll die without it. But much like the little wildflower, he’s sucking the life out of you.
His other hand grabs yours and squeezes. He says with a weak voice,
"Please. Let me do this. We need closure, and the last time we saw each other was not it. I'm fucking begging you to let me in just for tonight. And then I'll let you go."
As he holds your hand, you can't look at him. Instead, you look at the tiny flower, the one that he's crushing in his palm. He's holding onto it for dear life without even knowing. Similar to you, once again. You're that flower.
You're wilted, bruised, bent, crushed. All because he's clinging onto you, sucking the life out of you, and you've let him. And if he asks, you're going to continue to let him.
But then the flower falls out of his hand. He lets it go.
Oh, what a fucked up way for god to tell you that he isn't going to stay. He isn't going to ask you to stay; he's really going to let you go tonight.
So, as you stare at the flower, which is now on the floor, you murmur, "Alright."
You don't want to. But you're giving him the chance to let you go. Even though you wished he wouldn't.
He stays on his knees, as if he isn’t sure what to do now. As if he wasn’t sure he’d get this far… and honestly, that’s exactly it. He thought for sure you would kick him out and curse him for trying.
Or maybe, he thought you’d fight, too. And the fact that you aren’t fighting… it shouldn’t hurt him as much as it does. He’s the one who has put you in a position of constant guilt. But oh, how nice it would be if you fought for him.
“Jungkook, Jesus, get off of your damn knees. You look ridiculous.”
He blinks slowly. Yeah, ok, fair. His big ass on his knees begging like that. But god, he’d do it over and over again just for a little more time with you.
He’d let you spit on him and call him degrading names if it meant more time with you. And he’d even smile about it.
You both end up laughing at his dramatics a moment later, and it’s music to his ears… knowing that he can still make you smile even though he’s the reason you’re dying inside right now.
Closure. It’s what you both need. Just one more night to get everything unsaid out into the open… then you’ll both move on.
… right?
✧━。゜✿ฺ✿ฺ゜。━✧
177 notes · View notes
savventeen · 9 months
Text
you say the stupidest (sweetest) things
pairing: seungkwan x gn!reader rating: 16+ (for swearing) wc: 4.5k prompt: seungkwan + "things you said at 1am" summary: you say stupid shit on the best of days, so when seungkwan comes over when you're having a bad bout of insomnia, the last thing he expects to hear from you is an accidental love confession warnings: insomnia, mental health issues, dissociation mention tags: fluff, friends to lovers, first kiss, reader is a little unhinged but who isn't tbh, they're also highkey allergic to genuine expressions of love/affection but they're working on it, banter, stimming, wrestling like children to try and work through emotions, reader is some flavor of lgbt+ (they make an "i've never done anything straight in my life" joke), reader's pov is dramatic bc they're dramatic oops a/n: this is for @dokyeomin as a part of my emergency commissions (check out the post here) and this was only supposed to be 1k but it 100% got away from me... i hope you still enjoy the fluff and all of the attached nonsense <3
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From: Y/n 🔪 [11:47pm]
yo kwannie if i impulsively decide to go to the 24h convenience store how harshly do u think they'll jusdge me for buying every flavor of gummy candy available *judge i wanna see if i can melt them down into one Ultimate Gummy u know for Science
Seungkwan pauses brushing his teeth and stares down at your messages.
To be fair, it's probably not the strangest thing you've ever texted him. He's known you since your second year of college, after all, so he has about half a decade of experience with all of your various y/n-isms under his belt now.
Which is how he knows to trust his gut when it tells him that this probably isn't your usual brand of nonsense.
He spits the toothpaste into the sink and dials your number. You answer on the second ring.
“Before you say anything,” you start, “I was only half-serious about the gummies thing. Like, it's a fun idea, you know? In theory. But in actuality? I do not want to deal with the mess that it would create. Or the smells. Well, the smells might actually be pretty good depending on—“
“Uh-huh,” he interrupts dryly. “Y/n, when's the last time you slept?”
The beat of silence that follows is enough to confirm his suspicions, and the hesitant “Um” that follows is just the icing on the cake, really.
He sighs. “The fact that you have to think about it says enough.”
“I don’t need to think about it,” you argue petulantly. “I just… don’t wanna tell you.”
“Y/n...” he groans, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Look, I know, I'm sorry.” And you do sound a little bit sorry, at least. “I'm just. Having an episode. Don't worry about it.”
His shoulders droop as the words sink in. “Episodes” are what you've taken to calling your intermittent bouts of serious insomnia.
Generally speaking, you sleep about as well as the average twenty-something with a caffeine addiction. But every few months or so, it's like your brain completely forgets how to shut off and you end up staying awake for 40+ hours straight.
“Well,” he says, putting his toothbrush away and going back to his bedroom. “You know that ship has sailed, right? You know I'm gonna worry about it.”
Your deep sigh crackles over the line. “Yeah, I know.”
“So. Where're we at this time?”
He mentally braces himself. The two of you have done this enough times now that he knows that you know there's no point in trying to lie or beat around the bush.
“Uhhhhhhh, I'll be hitting the 46-hour mark in about 20 minutes.”
“Aish.”
The fact that you can say that so casually makes his heart hurt. He knows that whenever he doesn't get enough sleep, he makes sure everyone knows it and thus babies him accordingly. But you've always been so intent on hiding anything and everything you struggle with. It's taken years for him to bully himself past the walls you keep hidden behind shit-eating grins and an over-willingness to help.
“Okay,” he says, moving to the dresser to grab an extra set of clothes. “I'll be over in an hour.”
“Wait. What?”
“You heard me.” He tosses the clothes onto his bed before going to grab one of his duffle bags, firmly asserting, “You've got an hour to mentally prepare yourself for my arrival.”
“Honey, you've got a big storm comin',” you quote at him without hesitating.
“You sure do,” he assures with a snort. “Better get ready to feel the wrath of my friendship.”
“Why do you have to love so aggressively?”
He rolls his eyes while he throws his clothes into the duffle bag with one hand. “Because it's the only way you'll accept it, idiot.”
“No, it isn't.”
Your pout is so audible through the phone that Seungkwan has to stop and glance at the screen in disbelief.
“Y/n. Y/n L/n. Do not stand there and lie to my face like that.”
“I'm not lying!”
“Not—” He gesticulates wildly with one hand like he's going Can you believe this shit? to an invisible TV audience. “Okay, tell me this: what did you do the last time I sincerely monologued at you about how much you mean to me as a friend, hmm? No bits, no bullshit, just me telling you how much I love you and how amazing you are.”
A beat. “I'll hang up on you, Kwannie, don't test me.”
He barely resists the urge to shove his face into the bedspread and scream. “You're literally proving my point right now!”
“Kwannieeee,” you whine, because you know he's right.
“Also, because I'm never letting you live it down, I will remind you exactly what you did."
You say his name again, but it's muffled, and he assumes it's because you're hiding your face in shame.
“I gave you a sincere, heartfelt speech about how much your friendship has changed my life for the better and made me become a better person—” he ignores your wordless pterodactyl screech, “—and how do you respond? By staring at me like a deer caught in the headlights, slowly raising your arms to give me double finger guns, winking, and then slowly backing out of the room like an awkward mannequin!”
“...”
“Well?” He puts his free hand on his hip. “Do you have anything to say for yourself?”
“… I’ve changed a lot since then.”
Seungkwan rolls his eyes before moving to continue packing his overnight bag. “It was literally three months ago.”
“Yeah, and? Doesn't change the fact that I've changed,” you assert.
“Into even more of a nuisance? Yes, you're absolutely right.” He smiles when he hears you scoff playfully.
“Listen here, Boo Seungkwan. You know that well-rested Y/n is ready to throw down with you at a moment's notice. What do you think sleep-deprived, zero-impulse-control Y/n is going to do the second you get to their front door?”
“Stop referring to themself in the third person, hopefully,” he mutters, finally zipping up his bag and heading to the door. “And then after that, they're going to let me bully them into resting.”
“Hmm. The council has heard your proposal, briefly pondered it, and deemed it “unnecessary” on the basis of: they're a bad bitch that can't be stopped by neither time nor physics nor any god of your choosing.”
Seungkwan scoffs as he puts the call on speaker and sits to put on his sneakers. “Well, “the council” can go fuck right off.”
“What if the council would like to fuck right on?”
Pausing in the middle of tying his laces, he blinks down at his phone. “I'm— what?”
“Okay, real talk, what do you think it would mean in this case? Like, would this be like a 'hop on' versus 'hop off' situation? Or more like an 'I'm down for this' versus 'I'm up for this' kinda situation? Because it would have very different outcomes depending.”
Seungkwan decides that this is a debate better left for another time. “I think it means that I'm going to be at your house soon and that if you're not in your pajamas with hot Sleepy Time tea and the series Planet Earth ready to go, there will be consequences.”
“Booooooo, you whore.”
He finishes tying his laces and jabs his finger at the phone. “Consequences, Y/n.”
“Ugh, fine.”
“See you soon, love you, bye.” He hangs up before you can get another word in, but doesn't move from his seated position in the entryway.
Slowly, he takes a deep breath in and lets it out, taking a moment to lean back on his hands while he stares at the back of his front door. Specifically, at the large collage of sticky notes and pictures and doodles that have taken up residence there.
A few of the notes are ones he's gotten from other members of your shared friend group over the years (the one from Chan that reads "if u eat my rice i'll eat ur kneecaps xoxo" hangs proudly in the center, right next to a picture of him sleeping that Seungkwan managed to capture from an extremely unflattering angle). But most of them are from you.
Dumb puns, meme references, bullshit animal facts you made up just to get him to laugh… almost all of them are stupid in that extremely charming way that only you somehow manage to pull off.
But the one he's staring at now is almost completely hidden by other notes and pictures that have been added to the collage. It's a pale blue, the ink starting to fade a bit with time — the first note you ever gave him, back when you two were just people who happened to sit next to each other in an astronomy class.
Even though most of it is hidden, he doesn't need to be able to see all the tiny words you crammed into the small space to already know exactly what it says.
how do u make a space party? u planet :P u looked sad today, hope this makes u feel a little better also if this is 2 forward feel free 2 pretend i don't exist. or punt me in2 the sun idk u'd be doing me a favor tbh
He'd almost skipped class that day because of how bad he'd been feeling, but he'd decided to try and push through. And before that day, neither of you had interacted with more than a polite greeting and the occasional question about the homework.
But then you'd passed him that note, and he'd passed one back that said “that's dumb. but thank you” with a smiley face, and you'd passed another one back that said “do u think lizard people have ever been to space?” and the rest, they say, is history.
Seungkwan shakes his head with a sigh before standing up and grabbing his bag and his keys, striding determinedly out the door. He's got a best friend to take care of.
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Seungkwan should be at your place soon, and you're not quite sure what to do in the meantime.
You have your laptop hooked up to the monitor in the living room with Planet Earth queued up, you have the kettle filled with water and ready to go on the stove, and you have mugs and teabags ready on the counter next to it.
The Required Tasks™️ have been completed as much as possible without the arrival of your best friend, and now all that's left to do is wait.
Which, normally, you're not the worst at. You're excellent at entertaining yourself, actually, mostly because there's always something to think about. Whether it be about cute dogs that you've seen over the past week (I wonder if the pomeranian down the street will let me pet him next time), potential plot twists for the new fantasy drama you're a little bit obsessed with (what if Gregothy was cursed the whole time???), or generic ponderings of the human existence as a whole (do souls have the metaphysical equivalent of a fingerprint?), you're pretty much always thinking about something.
Which is totally fine and dandy and cool or whatever when you have the ability to, you know, shut it off. For example, when you need to do something simple and necessary like, oh I don't know, go the fuck to sleep.
You also hate when that manic mental energy somehow translates into kinetic energy as well. It makes you feel like a hamster in a cage, watching yourself running and running and running on that stupid wheel until you exhaust yourself.
Tonight's metaphorical wheel: stimming like wild in the kitchen. Flapping, rocking, (gently) slapping, making weird and fun mouth sounds, the whole shebang.
And again, normally stimming is fun. Stimming is great. But stimming because you feel like if you don't stop moving you're going to literally vibrate out of your skin is, to put it lightly, Not It.
It takes you about ten minutes to work out all of the energy until you no longer feel like your blood was replaced with pop rocks.
With a groan, you lower yourself to the kitchen floor and lay down face first. Because despite how exhausted you feel in every possible way, there's still something like an itch in your conscious, a fucking pea underneath the miles of mattresses that refuse to let you just. Fucking. Sleep.
Your pity party must've lasted longer than you realized (or, more likely, you dissociated for a hot second there) because suddenly someone's knocking at your door at the same time you get a text from Seungkwan.
And you know it's a text from Seungkwan specifically because you got Vernon to help you change your notification settings so that whenever Seungkwan texts you, the "i love you.. bitch" sound clip plays instead of a normal text tone.
For a fraction of a second, you contemplate slowly inching your way to the door like an uncoordinated caterpillar, but you swat the thought aside like you’re swatting a gnat and you awkwardly roll to your feet and make your way to your front door.
Without hesitating, you unlock the door, swinging it open with a flourish and sticking a finger right in Seungkwan's face before he can utter a single syllable, forcing him to cross his eyes.
You open your mouth wide like you're going to say something, pause for a moment, then tap your pointed finger to his nose with a quiet "boop."
He blinks, expression turning deadpan, and sighs. "I should have expected this, honestly."
“Yep!”
You let him into your apartment, and he makes himself right at home, mildly bitching at you as he goes to get the tea ready, and something within you shifts.
The inside of your head is still a bit of a dumpster fire, unfortunately, but inside your chest... something clicks into place that you're not sure that you're ready to name. Whatever it is, though, it's soft and warm and kinda feels like your heart is being hugged.
Smiling to yourself, you follow him into the kitchen.
💤 💤 💤 💤 💤
It was pretty much straight to “business” after that, and it only takes Seungkwan one cup of tea and two episodes listening to David Attenborough's dulcet narrations for him to knock right out, leaning heavily against your shoulder on the couch.
Which means it's now the perfect time to sit there and Admire Your Bro™️.
It's rare to see him so still, you think. He's an active guy, in pretty much every sense of the word, and you always feel a little honored when you get to be witness to his quiet, vulnerable moments like this one.
He looks so serene, face smoothed out and painted in soft twirling shades of blue from the screen of the monitor, though you can't see too much of it from this angle. Mostly you just see his cheeks and stupidly adorable button nose.
And you've seen the same thing a million times before — in all kinds of states and expressions — and despite how much you've tried to ignore it, each and every time you've caught yourself noticing just how cute Seungkwan is, it's caused that thing in your heart to scrunch up, full of the L-word feeling that you've kept unnamed for what feels like forever now.
Except, maybe that thing in your heart is tired of scrunching up. Maybe it's decided that it's tired of forever.
Maybe that thing has finally decided to burrow itself out of the walls you've built up because you find yourself finally allowing yourself to think, Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
You don't realize that Seungkwan has completely stilled against you, but you certainly notice when he suddenly throws himself forward so he can turn around and stare at you incredulously. Only he overshoots a little bit and ends up falling off the couch with a squawk and a dramatic flail.
"Oh my god, Kwannie are you okay?!"
He stares at you from where he fell, wide-eyed like you've grown a second head or like the time you'd tried to convince him that birds weren't real and actually just a government conspiracy.
"Am— am I okay? No??"
Now it's your turn to move off of the couch, coming down to his level to see if maybe he hurt himself when he fell. "Fuck, okay, did you hit something? Do you need an icepack?"
Seungkwan being Not Okay is maybe one of the worst things that could ever happen in the entire universe and you're trying not to panic as you reach out to check for injuries.
"No, no, stop—" he bats away at your hands and you stop in your motions, now kneeling in front of him. "I'm not hurt!"
Your brain does the cartoonish screech thing as it comes to a halt, and you furrow your brows. "But.. you just said you're not okay?"
"I'm not!" His eyes are still wide in shock, but he also looks confused and maybe a little bit like he's about to cry?
Oh no. If he cries and it's somehow your fault (because it has to somehow be your fault) you think the world might actually end.
"Okay, uh. I am— confused,” you start, sure you must look as lost as you feel. “But, um, what can I do to help?"
He swallows, and a part of you realizes that he's looking at you with an expression you've never seen before. "Did you mean it?"
Knowing that it's significant but not yet knowing why, you maintain eye contact. "Mean what?"
"What you just said."
You blink. "...that I'm confused?"
He shakes his head. "No, before that."
You have a hard time remembering what you just said when you're not sleep-deprived and worried you've just somehow accidentally caused irreparable emotional damage to your best friend. "Uh... when I asked if you were okay?"
"No, fuck," and it's a shock for some reason, hearing him cuss right now. You hear him say much worse things all the time, but you think it might be the way he said it — with a kind of desperate vulnerability that you're not sure you've ever heard from him before.
That thing in your chest twinges and you think maybe you're the one who's gonna start crying.
He says your name like a plea, and then he's on his knees right in front of where you're kneeling on the floor, reaching forward to cup your face in his palms. "You said— Y/n, you said "holy shit I think I'm in love with you.””
Oh.
You're pretty sure your heart falls right out of your ass and bounces across the rug, judging from the way it comes to a dead stop. You blink at him. Full of new and sinking kind of dread, you whisper, "...I said that out loud?"
He laughs, but it's tinged with incredulity and sounds a little too close to a sob for comfort. "Yes! You did!"
And wait, no, your heart is still stuck in your chest, because you can feel it start pounding against your ribcage in double, triple, quadruple time. He must see the fear in your expression, because suddenly his eyes are narrowed in a determined scowl and he growls, "Oh no you don't."
Then you find yourself going down with a yelp as Seungkwan octopuses himself around you, trapping you within the confines of his surprisingly strong arms and legs as he basically tackles you to the floor.
You try and wiggle away even as you know it's useless, and he grits, "Y/n dammit, answer my question."
"Why were you even awake?” You deflect, getting an arm free and trying to give him a wedgie. “You were supposed to be asleep!"
"I was supposed to be asleep?!” He screeches, easily evading your reach and poking your ribs to get you to reflexively pull back your arm. “You're the one who hasn't slept in literal days! And stop avoiding my question!"
"No!" He has you trapped once again, and you resort to licking his arm.
"Oh my god!"
He muffles his scream into your shoulder, long and frustrated, and then he just... goes limp. He loosens his hold and just lets his full body weight kinda crush the parts of you he's ended up lying on and just... lays there.
This is your chance, you know — to wiggle free and escape and run away from your feelings just like you always have.
But, for some reason, you don't — that scrunched-up thing in your chest holds you back. You stay there, lying beneath Seungkwan on the floor of your living room at one-something in the morning, and the two of you just breathe.
"It's okay, you know," he murmurs after a moment, so quiet you barely hear him over David Attenborough still narrating softly in the background. "If you didn't mean it. It's okay."
Holy shit, I think I'm in love with you.
And you realize how easy it would be to play it off, to blame it on the sleep deprivation, the way you blurted it out like that — to say (to lie) you meant it completely platonically, like the way you propose to Mingyu at least once a month when he cooks you all dinner.
And you also realize, quite shockingly, that despite how a part of you still desperately wants to run away, the larger part of you wants to stay. Doesn't want to run. Doesn't want to lie anymore.
You swallow heavily, briefly close your eyes, and take in a deep breath. "And if I did? Mean it?"
This time, you do notice when Seungkwan goes still. Slowly, he lifts his head so he can look you in the eyes.
When he doesn't say anything, just continues to look at you with an unreadable expression, you try to continue.
"Would you— would that— would it be okay? If I meant it? When I— when I said that I'm in love with you? Is— because um, like you said, it's okay if it's not, and uh—"
Your nervous rambling comes to a stop when he once again cups your face, but it's gentler than before, closer to a caress. The whole time you'd been talking he'd been slowly sitting up, and now he's on his knees next to where you're still lying down on the floor, looking down at you like all the hope in the world is somewhere to be found in your expression.
"Y/n." he says your name like it's something precious, and you feel the absurd urge to burst into tears. "It would be very okay." His thumbs make gentle arcs across your cheeks. "And just to be clear: you mean it in a non-platonic sense, right?” He chews on his lip. “Hopefully, in a very much romantic sense?"
Staring at him staring at you, eyes bright with hope and a little bit of wonder... you can only imagine you must be looking at him the same way. Your chest feels like it's full of helium but also like something warm and gooey is sloshing around in there. And all that hope and wonder and holy shit is this actually happening? is causing your tongue to stick to the roof of your mouth, and all you're able to get past your lips is a breathless, "Hopefully?"
"Oh my god," he groans in frustration, but it's light and airy and makes you think of amusement park rides and fairy lights and how you want to annoy the shit out of this man for the rest of his life, if he'll let you. He's shaking his head, smiling, beaming, and he asks, "Why can you never give me any kind of a straight answer, huh?"
"Because it's my life's purpose to be the bane of your existence until the day we die," you say, reaching up to hold his face too. "Also because I've never done anything straight ever in my life."
And then your body is moving before your brain can think it though, dragging him down until you can press your lips to his and finally, finally know what it's like to kiss Boo Seungkwan.
He makes a little noise of surprise, one that you can feel buzz against your lips before he melts into you. And oh, any thoughts you might have had are forcefully ejected from your brain because all you can focus on are his lips pressed to yours, the way they move slowly, gently, turning this chaste kiss into the most scorching experience of your life. His nose bumps against yours and the heat of his warm breath sends tingles throughout your body, and his hands, fuck, his hands are still holding you gently but also with a firmness that feels like he doesn't want to let you go.
And then he's pulling away, and you whine at him because this may be the cruelest thing he's ever done to you ever in your entire life. "Noooooo, why'd you stop?"
"Because, as much as I'd love to continue to make out with you on your floor while an old British man narrates about life on the Serengeti—” he mercifully ignores the way you choke on your spit at the way he talks about making out with you so nonchalantly "—it's past someone's bedtime."
Your mouth drops open in offended shock. Was he actually going to put you to bed like a child? Like you both hadn't just declared your romantic love for each other? "Are you fucking serious?"
He just stands up and crosses his arms, looking down at you with a single raised eyebrow. You take the part of you that finds it annoyingly attractive and promptly smother it, crossing your own arms from your position on the floor.
"I'm not a baby," you definitely don't pout.
"Hmmm...” And then the bastard fucking pouts at you. “But you're my baby."
You blink at him.
"Welp, that was nice while it lasted,” you grunt, rolling to your feet, “but I suddenly need to relocate to Antarctica and become a penguin herder.”
He pulls you into his arms with a laugh, and you let him, burying your face in the crook of his shoulder.
“You know,” he starts after he's held you for a few moments. “This isn't how I ever imagined how us confessing to each other would go.”
You snort.
“But also,” he continues, “it feels very 'us' doesn't it?”
"Yeah,” you murmur, not bothering to lift your head from his shoulder.
“Mmm, is someone finally sleepy?” he teases, starting to waddle you both towards your bedroom. “Did all the emotions finally wear you out?”
Instead of nodding, you lightly kick him in the shin and the sappy part of your brain that is currently in charge of everything thinks that his indignant squawk is one of your most favorite sounds.
The sappy part of your brain is right, of course, and when you wake up in your bed 15 hours later and accidentally smack him in the face, the urge to run is a little bit smaller than it was before. And the way he flushes bright red after you sleepily kiss him on the cheek is an image you're going to cherish until the day you die.
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pansear-doodles · 10 months
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Separation of Tides
Rivulet: (I'm worried about mom… She hasn't been able to contact Five Pebbles…) (Why isn't he listening to her? Can't he see she's hurt?) (I don't understand…) … (Huh?) Hey! Are you a slugcat? … You don't look so well. Maybe mom can fix you up. … Moon: Bring them closer to me Ruffles. Rivulet: Are they a slugcat? Moon: Yes but… There are no records of their body’s blueprints. Nor is it reasonable to assume that extreme adaptations are possible through… natural means. …? What's this that they were holding in their bag? A… pearl? Rivulet: Was that… inside of them? Moon: Based on the giant scar on their chest and the strange biological attachments, it appears so. We will read it later, but right now we need to help your little friend of yours. They're in a critical state- I'll try my best to patch up their wounds. There. There. It'll be okay. You've come a long way. … Spearmaster: (Thank… You…) Moon: What is your title? Spearmaster: (I… I don't really have a title… But my colleague calls me Spearmaster.) Rivulet: Wah! Where is that voice coming from! Moon: Ruffles be nice! Spearmaster: (No it's okay.) (I'm able to talk thanks to wind manipulation via my spear holes.) (It's kinda quiet though…) (I was sent to your facility grounds to deliver a message to Five Pebbles by Seven Red Suns.) (The situation happening between you and him- info about it was spread throughout the local group. I was sent as a possible means to stop Five Pebbles from threatening you by delivering the-) (The pearl! Where is it?) Moon: It is right here. I've… read its content before you woke up. Spearmaster: (… I've been guarding this with my life to deliver it to you, because I don't know what to do.) (I thought that… once I deliver it… everything will go well as planned, just like what my creator would say before departing my home… But it didn't.) (…) Moon: I'm sorry. … I was not aware of the extent to which these affairs had reached the wider iterator populace. Nor was I aware of the lengths that the others were going in their attempts to get into contact with us. If only I could… … I do have one request. Brave messenger, do you mind if I rewrite the contents of this pearl? After all, it already served its original purpose. Spearmaster: (What will you do with it?) Moon: I will attach a broadcast key to it, signed with my communications serial. Spearmaster: (I'm alright with it.) … Rivulet: MOM! Mom please stay with me! Moon: Rrr r u f ffles I-I i. sorry sorry sorry … T-there. Please listen carefully Spearmaster. To the far west of here, past the silently towering chimney stacks of Five Pebbles' complex, you will find a place of sunbaked lands with beautiful flora that straddle the clouds. There is a communications array located there. It is the nearest one that may still be functioning. Its systems should recognize and respond to my signed broadcast key. If you could please stop there on your return trip to Seven Red Suns, I would be very grateful. This is my only hope to get a message out to the local group. Spearmaster: (So you have no answer to resolve with Five Pebbles?) Moon: …I'm afraid not. Spearmaster: (… Understood.) Rivulet: Mom? Mom! You're not leaving! Your structure is NOT going to erode! Moon: I'm sorry Ruffles. There's nothing I can do. Rivulet: Stop it! Stop saying these things! TELL ME YOU'RE GOING TO BE ALRIGHT! … [Continued in reblog/reply]
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mybelovedwoo · 1 year
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i'm glad i have you with me
bff!san x f!reader
fluff, comfort, childhood best friends to lovers (slow burn) / wc:1.3k
warnings: cheating, crying, swear words, cuddling
note: so tell me how you liked this one. i am a bit nervous because this is my first non-wooyoung fic, but i really enjoyed writing it. please stay tuned in the future for other members' fics too. if you want to be tagged in any of my fics you can apply here <3
san masterlist - main masterlist
Sitting on a couch at a house party all alone with people you don't know, there's literally any other place you would rather be. Originally you came with you're boyfriend Seungjun, but you haven't seen him in hours. You weren't much of a party person, but this time you accompanied him, because he begged you for days for it, but now you are starting to regret it honestly.
You take out your phone from your back pocket, but before you open it, you look around once more to see if your boyfriend pops up somewhere, you are out of luck, so after you unlocked it, the first thing you open is your messages. Your fingers linger over Seungjun's name, but it says he's been unavailable for hours, no shit Sherlock, you think. Instead, you scroll down a bit and open the messages for your best friend, San.
You know well that he probably not gonna answer, because it's Saturday night, and he is most definitely out with his friends too. You don't care, you try it anyway, he is your best chance to rescue you out of this hell. "Hey, San." is the first you send, you're not sure what to write him, you don't want to bother him. "What are you doing?" you wait a few minutes, but he's not responding, his phone is probably on mute. "I'm kinda bored, I don't know where Seungjun went. I need your rescue ㅠㅠ." Nothing, no response. You feel really annoyed at this point, but not because San, poor boy did nothing wrong, it is just a bad moment. "You know what I'm gonna look for Seungjun. Don't worry and have fun." You lock your phone and put it back in your back pocket.
You look around the kitchen, then in the yard, but you don't see him anywhere. You are getting kinda worried that maybe he left you there. At last, you walk up the stairs, the hallway is full of kissing couples, who must have only met tonight. The moment you enter one of the rooms, you regret everything you did until now. Your boyfriend was there with another girl you had never seen before, doing things you never expected him to do with anyone except for you. 
You didn't know what to do in the big shock, but you didn't speak up, maybe they didn't even notice you or just didn't care. But you turned around and hurried down the stairs, unable to control your tears. You just needed some fresh air, you had to get out of this place immediately. You crashed out of the entrance of the house and fell down to the stairs. Sitting there you didn't even think, you were already calling San. This is urgent now.
Your phone didn't even ring for two seconds when they already answered it. "Hey Y/N, is everything okay? I'm sorry my phone was on mute I haven't seen your texts. Have you found Seungjun? Wait, are you crying?" You couldn't even speak, though you wanted to tell him everything. "Y/N please say something! What happened? Are you hurt?" You took three big breaths to calm yourself down enough to talk a few words. "He cheated on me. Could you come to pick me up?" You didn't have to say more. "I've already sat in the car the minute I saw your messages, don't worry. I'll be there soon."
He wasn't lying, he got there in record time. You watched as he pulled up with his car to the driveway of the house. When he gets out of the car, is only when you get up from the stairs you've been sitting on. San rushed towards you at a high speed, so you didn't have time to move even an inch in his way.
"Where is that dickhead?" He asked with blunt words when he got to you. He seemed really angry, maybe even angrier than you, you had never in your life seen him like this before. You shrugged, implying that you don't know and don't care either. But that was not enough for him. "Is he still inside there?" You started to get a little worried.
"I think so. But please don't make a scene, let's just go home." You pulled him through his forearm when he already started walking to the entrance. "Wait for me in the car, okay? I'll be quick, I'm not gonna do anything he doesn't deserve, I swear." He said to you, while he stroked your face with his right hand. You hesitated, but who are you to tell him what to do, so you went up to his car and sat on the passenger side for like five minutes.
At this point you didn't care much about waiting a little longer, that's what you did all night long. San slammed the door behind himself, and somehow he looked even angrier than before. He got in the car next to you and when he looked at you his expression softened. "What did you do?" You asked him with a sobby voice. "I just showed him where he belonged. Let's just say he went swimming." You look down at his hands and you see it's all bruised up.
He started the engine. "San, I don't wanna go home. What if he comes there?" You didn't know what to do, since he had a key to your apartment. You couldn't bare to see his face once more.
"We're going to my place." He didn't even hesitate. You slept at his place many times now, but not since you started dating Seungjun. San was worried when you found out you are going to different colleges, he was afraid that you wouldn't spend as much time together as you used to. But you thought that was nonsense since you have been best friends since you were very little, you grew up together.
He never liked Seungjun, he always said he didn't deserve you. But he was your first boyfriend, and you were blinded with love, at least that's what you thought. Looking back, you also know that he didn't treat you well, but you don't know that when you're in it.
-
Entering San's apartment, all you could think about was that you needed to get some sleep asap. Weariness hit you the moment you got hit by the heat of the comfortable room. You didn't want to bother San with your presence, you don't know what plans he had. 
You've been quite comfortable in here, so you decided to lie down on the couch in the living room. "What are you doing?" Asked San, entering the room with a glass of water in his hand.
"Sleeping. I'm really tired." You mumbled, not able to speak properly.
"You can't sleep here. Go to my room, there is my bed. I'll sleep on the couch." You sat up at his statement. "No, you can't. This is your place." There's no way you letting him sleep out here in the cold living room when he has his own warm bed just a room away. "Let's sleep both in the bed. I think it's big enough for the both of us." You said. It's not like this is the first time you sleep in the same bed, you always fell asleep next to each other when you were little.
"Are you sure?" He hesitated. "We are not so small anymore." The joke made you both laugh, it made his heart clench to see you happy again.
After you took a warm shower, he gave you a big shirt of his and a jogger pant that was definitely too big for you. You got under the cover, San was already there, lying down. He turned off the lamp on the bedside table, which illuminated the whole room until now. 
As soon as it got dark your eyes started watering again, you remember everything that happened today. All of a sudden, you feel a pair of hands slip on your waist. San hugged you tightly from behind. "I got you." He whispered in your ears. He didn't let go of you all night long, you woke up in the same position the next morning.
-
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accioprocrastination · 9 months
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Another Bad Date
Bradley Rooster Bradshaw x Reader
A/N: I haven't proof read this so it's probably terrible but here's a fluffy meet cute.
Summary: Reader meets Rooster
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The date starts worse than you were imagining... Tyler has already: ordered food for you, got you an alcohol free drink after you said you wanted a gin and tonic, commented on your figure and checked someone out across the room. You've not even been here 30 minutes and you need a reason to leave.
Excusing yourself to the ladies room, you take your bag to go text your best friend for help.
Scrolling quickly to find her name on WhatsApp you type your message:
I need an excuse to leave a date early
Phoenix is across town in the hard deck when her phone pings with the text message. Hangman comes up behind her to give her a beer but reads the text over her shoulder.
"Family member was in an accident; Friend is having a crisis; my ex just text me; I'm sick; I'm needed at work" he reels off his answers, placing the beer in her free hand. Phoenix gives him a look of disapproval in response.
"Don't read my texts Bagman!" She orders him.
"What does your friend look like, If she's hot I'll go be the crazy ex." Hangman winks at Phoenix.
"Absolutely not! It's Y/N, she's not your type and I'm not saving her from a shit date by pushing her in your direction." She states rolling her eyes as he smirks.
Nat this is urgent help me. You text again to chase up her answer, needing a response as soon as possible lest Tyler thinks you've got some form of gastrointestinal problem.
Sighing at her slow typing you exit the bathroom and collide straight into a tall brunette guy, dropping your phone in the process. "Shit, sorry." You instantly start apologising as he stabilises you, placing his hands on both of your shoulders.
"Are you good?" He asks moving his hands down your arms slightly, leaving goosebumps in their wake as you nod. "Yeah, are you?" You respond as he reaches down to grab your phone. He laughs slightly at your concern and says, "I'm bigger than I look, I think I can take it."
"You know Phoenix?" He queries, unable to stop himself looking at the screen as he hands your phone back over to you, enlarged on the contact photo of her from how you were holding it before you dropped it. "Yeah, I met Nat when she was in flight school. Guessing you're an aviator too?" You respond glancing him up and down to assess the outfit - not really something her associates would be caught dead in but he's toned and has got expensive sunglasses attached to his Hawaiian shirt so it's not completely out of the realm of possibilities.
He nods with a smile blossoming on his face. "Yes I am. I haven't seen you around before; I wouldn't forget that face." He remarks making you blush slightly.
"What do you do?" He asks unsure of whether you're in the Navy or know Phoenix through something else.
"I'm definitely not a pilot, as you can see I have zero hand eye coordination. I work for the government." You say with a giggle, not really telling him anything about your job.
"Ooh pretty and smart." He doesn't register himself thinking aloud until it is too late.
"What brings you to fighter town, this is literally the middle of nowhere." he remarks. You smirk slightly because he's right.
"Work asked me to come here for a bit... I live in Washington so not really used to having so little to do here." You comment.
"Do you want to get out of here and grab a drink?" He asks. You look between him and the table where your date is sat.
"Sorry if that's too forward, I haven't asked anyone out in ages... For all I know you're here with someone, there's no hard feelings if you say no." He waffles, nervous talking.
Your phone pings with a text presumably Nat responding to you.
"You're cute, I think I could make that happen." You say to the beautiful stranger whose name you're still unsure of.
You glance down at your phone to see a list of excuses signed off by Hangman. You roll your eyes having met and disliked Jake from the offset but his list gets so obscure by the end that you have to laugh.
"Boyfriend?" He raises an eyebrow, suddenly concerned that you are laughing at your phone.
"No but I am here with someone... I was literally just texting Nat for excuses to get out of the tinder date from hell, but it looks like Hangman has taken her phone judging by the unhinged message he just sent me." you explain the situation.
"He wants me to tell this guy that I've got to go because my fish drowned." you state in utter disbelief at Jake's list of excuses. The brunette chuckles across from you, and gives you such an animated smile that you feel your heart flutter in your chest.
"Give me two minutes to go let him down then we can leave." You state looking up from your phone and into his honey brown eyes.
"Okay, I'll go tell my friends that I am abandoning them then we can figure out where to go?" He questions raising his eyebrows. You nod in agreement and temporarily part ways.
*
Tyler has a momentary meltdown at you saying this is not going to work out and decides to start shouting at you from across the table. Bradley is back by your side in under a minute backing you up.
Once he's spoke Tyler down he grabs your hand and pulls your out of the restaurant.
"Thank you." You say squeezing his hand.
"No need to thank me, that guy was an asshole." he says making me smile slightly.
"Maybe if I went with the fish excuse he wouldn't have been so pissy." You mutter making him giggle.
Your phone pings with another text, Hangman still clearly has Nat's phone and has sent you a photo of your best friend head down on a bar. You smile at the photo, knowing he's gentleman enough to take her home and make sure she's okay.
You turns the phone around so Mr Hawaiian shirt can see what you're giggling at. "Ooh that looks messy! Thank god we don't have an early start tomorrow" He says sarcastically.
You're so glad that you don't have to deal with their kind of early starts... Morning people are unhinged.
"Do you want to go to the hard deck and meet up with them or should we go get food?" you ask him.
"Definitely food!!" He responds excitedly jumping.
"Great that's the right answer! Where's good around here?" you look to him for an answer. He looks around thinking for a minute.
"Nowhere in our immediately vicinity stands out but there's a really good place like 30 minutes away, they make a mean Hamburger." He exclaims.
You nod, "That sounds perfect, lead the way!"
"Whose car are we going in?" He asks me.
"I walked here from my hotel, so yours." I answer. I'm not afraid he's going to kill me because he just saved by life from my incel of a date who seemingly hates women, and I can see his dogtags under his shirt, so I know he's telling the truth about knowing Phoenix. That instantly put me at ease because she is an amazing judge of character.
"Where were you from before Washington, you sound English?" Bradshaw remarks.
"Yeah, I grew up over there in a tiny town in the Midlands... I moved here after uni." you answer.
"What did you study?" He asks walking alongside you to wherever he's parked.
"Pol sci and international relations." You respond.
You two mindlessly talk about your lives and what got you into your careers as you continue to walk to his car.
After what feels like twenty minutes of walking you stop and turn towards him. "Are you really shite at parking or something?" you question with a smirk held on your face.
He starts laughing.
"I got a lift here, I'm parked at my place." He responds grinning ear to ear. "It's just around the corner." He adds as you give him a look of disbelief.
You're watching him intently as you round the corner, noticing the sudden purpose in his step as he walks towards not a car but the front door to his apartment.
"I feel like I was warned about stranger danger." You say meeting his eye as you cross the threshold. The corner of his mouth lifts slightly into a smirk.
"You also agreed a burger in a place thirty minutes away was a good idea, so welcome to the only place that's good around here." He says leading you into his kitchen.
"Ah... Very smooth." You say as he swings open a cupboard door and raises two bottles in what you presumed was going to be a silent question: wine or gin.
"I can offer you some uncomfortably warm wine or gin... but I'm not sure if I have tonic?" he says raising his eyebrows, tone of voice implying he's asking you if he has tonic water somewhere.
"Wow, I can see why this is your favourite place around here. I bet the reviews are glowing." You tease him. Bradley doesn't verbalise the butterflies that break out in his stomach in response to your wink.
He laughs about to feel guilty for bringing you back here to his limited drinks options when he opens a different cupboard and pulls out a single can of tonic.
"Ah there we go - one of us can enjoy our evening." He says making you giggle.
He raises both again at your lack of a definitive answer.
"I want the gin but I feel bad that you only have one tiny tonic water... If you want that I'm good to go on the warm wine front." You respond and he gives you an unreadable look that you don't recognise.
"What was that look?" You whisper feeling oddly nervous at how good looking this man is.
"What look?" He whispers back, the look no longer visible on his face. His eyes are squinting, laughter lines visible on his face as he stares back at you full of a giddy playful energy.
You watch in silent amazement as he pours your drink without breaking your eye contact. You know without tonight going any further, without even knowing his name - this is not a one time thing.
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tyuninthemirror · 1 year
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— beside you: c.bg
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— pairing: idol bf!beomgyu x fem!reader — genre: slight angst, fluff — word count: 2082 — disclaimers: none — synopsis: being on tour, all beomgyu wanted was to be beside you. he did all he could to make time pass, but did he ever consider how you felt? — series masterlist
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— author's note: honestly, this wasn't my best work but i felt like i needed to get this out to get the series going. :( hope you still enjoy it though! ♥ (edited 6/30/23), (re-edited 12/31/23)
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You checked your phone yet again that evening, a sigh escaping your lips – one of many that night. Your message had been sent at noon, delivered by 2 pm, but it remained unread.
The official TXT Twitter had confirmed they'd wrapped up their show in Houston, and as midnight ticked closer, you couldn't help but wonder why Beomgyu hadn't replied yet. You let out a self-deprecating chuckle, the sting of unshed tears blurring your vision as you stared at your phone screen.
You and Beomgyu hadn't been going out for long. You two met months ago since you worked at the game store he often frequented, but you only officially got together right before he went on tour. You knew dating an idol would be hard, but you couldn't ignore your feelings for him.
You supported everything he did and were ecstatic to hear he was going on tour. Everything went well in the beginning, Beomgyu messaged you when he woke up and sent photos of everything he ate, but stopped a few days ago when they arrived in New York. Sure, you understood the time difference and their busy schedules, but it suddenly took him over a day to reply, even if he was actively responding on Weverse.
"'Message me whenever,' my ass," you snickered, repeating the words he told you as they were leaving Seoul to start their world tour. You wiped your tears away, switched your phone off, and headed to bed, a thousand scenarios rushing through your head.
"Are we leaving yet?" Beomgyu groaned in the van, checking the time. "C'mon, let's get going, people!"
"Jesus Christ, what's the rush?" Yeonjun snapped, glaring at the younger boy from the front.
"He's just anxious to finish everything and return home," Soobin chuckled. "Y/N is waiting for him and all."
Kai snickered, nudging Soobin playfully. "I'll bet he's been bombarding her with those cheesy kissy emojis."
"Of course, he has! Have you seen all the stuff he bought her? I bet he's sent a billion photos to show off," Yeonjun joined with a mischievous smirk as he faced Beomgyu. He didn't expect the silence that followed. No snide remarks, no banter, just silence as Beomgyu started at the phone in his hand.
"Uhh, are you ok, Beomgyu?" Soobin asked after a brief pause.
"Am I supposed to be doing that?" Beomgyu asked, looking up at the boys who stared right back at him.
"You mean the texts?" Taehyun asked in return, confused at why the atmosphere had gotten serious. Instead of a goofy 'gotcha!' or joke, the older boy just nodded.
"Well, don't you want to show her everything you're experiencing abroad?" Yeonjun questioned. He always sees Beomgyu on his phone and assumes he is texting you. "Don't tell me you haven't been texting her?"
Before Beomgyu could respond, their manager gets into the front seat announcing their schedule for the day. Soobin and Yeonjun looked at each other, a bit worried at how Beomgyu had reacted earlier.
"Hey, is everything alright?" Soobin asked as they returned to their shared hotel room, Yeonjun following behind them. Though Beomgyu seemed normal throughout their schedule, something felt off. The older boys noticed how Beomgyu stared at his phone throughout the day.
"Yeah," Beomgyu answered, smiling a little bit. "I couldn't understand some of the questions during the interview earlier, but I think my English is improving!"
Yeonjun wasn't convinced. "We're not talking about the interview. You've seemed… off."
"What do you mean?"
"The conversation this morning seems to have bothered you," Soobin explained. "So we just wanted to make sure you're ok."
"Yeah, I'm ok, but I do miss Y/N a lot," Beomgyu chuckled, his voice cracking a little as he finished his sentence. Yeonjun was about to tease him about it, but he held it back when he saw Beomgyu's eyes glaze over.
"It can't be that bad," Yeonjun comforted. "Don't you guys call each other at night? It's not like you can't see each other."
"I haven't called Y/N in a while," Beomgyu admitted. That's when it clicked in Soobin's mind. He had been sharing the room with Beomgyu through their tour, but he had yet to see him on the phone with you since the New York stop.
"Did you guys break up?" Soobin cautiously asked. But it didn't make sense to him because he had just seen Beomgyu buy you a new pair of earrings when they were out yesterday.
"No! Of course not!" Beomgyu exclaimed, jumping up from where he was sitting on the bed, panic evident in his voice. "What made you say that?"
"Listen," Yeonjun sighed, pushing Beomgyu to sit back down on the bed. "If you don't tell us what's going on, we can't help you."
Beomgyu stared at the two boys standing in front of him, contemplating whether or not he should tell them. After a minute or two, he sighs in defeat and opens his messages with you.
y/n ♥ - 7/17/2022 - 22:00 i just had lunch~ did anything interesting happen in houston? miss you lots, hope today's show went great! x
"Choi Beomgyu, these are from last night," Yeonjun's rebuke was stern as he held the phone. Soobin's brows furrowed as he read more of your one-sided conversation.
y/n ♥ - 7/14/2022 - 10:00 it's midnight here now, i hope i'm not texting at a bad time. :)
y/n ♥ - 7/15/2022 - 13:00 it's 1pm there, you must be busy preparing for tonight's show. break a leg! i'm heading to bed since i have an exam in the morning. i miss you. xx
y/n ♥ - 7/15/2022 - 17:00 good morning from my side of the world! don't forget to take the probiotics i packed for you!
me - 7/15/2022 - 22:00 hey, y/n! hope your exam went well! the last few shows went great. we'll be heading to houston soon.
y/n ♥ - 7/15/2022 - 22:10 it did! the professor was nice enough to give us extra point but i think i barely passed. :))
y/n ♥ - 7/15/2022 - 23:30 you must be asleep, sleep well! xx
y/n ♥ - 7/16/2022 - 07:00 sorry for texting this early in the morning, but i just wanted to say good night. i miss you. x
"Did you really only reply once out of all these messages?" Yeonjun's disbelief was evident. "Honestly, I'm surprised she's still waiting around."
"So much for missing Y/N," Soobin commented, handing the phone back with disappointment. "How could you leave her hanging like this?"
"I do miss her," Beomgyu's words were muffled by the mattress. "But every time we talked, I just… missed her more. I thought if I messaged her less, time would fly by, and the tour would end sooner."
Yeonjun shook his head, sitting beside Beomgyu. "That's selfish, man. You're not the only one in this relationship. Y/N understood what dating an idol entails, and she signed up for it."
Soobin chimed in, "She knew about the distance, the crazy schedules, the secrecy. She was prepared to deal with all that."
"Maintaining a relationship takes effort, especially in our line of work," Yeonjun added. "You need to balance your career and your personal life. And you can't just wish the tour away."
Silence hung heavy as Beomgyu processed their words. Eventually, he nodded. "You're right. I'm sorry for worrying you guys."
"We're not the ones you should be apologizing to," Yeonjun pointed at the phone.
As if on cue, your message popped up, and Beomgyu's face lit up, only for his expression to fall as he read it.
y/n ♥ - 7/18/2022 - 19:00 beomgyu, i think we need to talk.
"You dumbass," Yeonjun facepalmed.
"Talk to her. Just be honest," Soobin advised, allowing Yeonjun to cool down for a second. "I'm sure you can fix this."
"You better! How many times we've stuck our asses out to cover for you when you snuck out to meet Y/N! Don't let it go in vain!" Yeonjun scolded, raising his voice.
After asking Soobin and Yeonjun for some privacy and replying to your message with a 'call you in 5 minutes', Beomgyu spent the next few minutes scattering his brain, thinking of an excuse for his stupid behavior.
"Hey," Beomgyu's voice was soft as he greeted you, a tentative smile on his face.
"Hey," you returned the greeting, managing a smile despite the whirlwind of nerves inside you. You had braced yourself for a conversation that might end everything, especially after the silence on his end.
"Gyu, I just—" you started.
"I'm sorry—" he blurted out at the same time, and you both paused, a brief moment of laughter breaking the tension.
"Sorry, go ahead," you urged, your heart pounding against your ribs.
Beomgyu took a moment, his eyes cast downward. "I owe you an apology for the way I've been lately," he confessed, visibly uneasy. "I’ve been delaying my replies to your messages on purpose… I thought if I didn’t read them right away, time would pass faster and I'd be back with you sooner."
Your mind went blank, his words not quite computing.
"Y/N?" His voice pulled you back.
"Sorry, can you repeat that?" You blinked away your confusion.
Beomgyu repeated his apology, his half-smile tinged with regret. "I've been missing you so much, I thought I could make the tour go by faster. I never meant to ignore you or make you feel unimportant."
"I was so scared, I thought it was about me," you admitted, tears well up in your eyes as he expresses his feelings. The anxiousness you felt the last few days dissolved into nothing.
"No, Y/N," Beomgyu denied in a panic. "I handled it all wrong, I thought you would be lonely there while I was out here."
"Dummy, I'm so happy you're out there seeing the world. You've wanted this for so long," you tell him. "I'm sorry if I'm coming off as clingy. I just wanted to make sure you're taking care of yourself. You should enjoy being on the road as much as you can."
"Baby, sorry should be the last thing you say," Beomgyu sadly shakes his head. "I promise I'll communicate better from now on."
"Thank you, Beomgyu," you said, feeling a wave of warmth at his words.
"So, to more important things," Beomgyu exclaims, setting his phone down on the table and standing up from where he sat to riffle through his luggage. "Look what I got us! Matching beanies!!!"
You two talk for the next few hours until Yeonjun begs him to go to sleep.
"Good night, Y/N," Beomgyu smiled, looking at your face through the screen as you lay in bed. "I'll let you know when I finish my schedule tomorrow. I love you."
Your heart skipped a beat. You hadn't exchanged those words before the tour, and hearing them now felt monumental.
"I love you too, Gyu," you responded, your voice a whisper.
From off-screen, Yeonjun's voice chimed in, half teasing, half pleading, "Great, lovebirds. Now can we please sleep?"
With a shared chuckle, you both said your goodbyes, closing the call with reluctant smiles.
The screen went dark, and the quiet of your room enveloped you. Beomgyu's words echoed in your heart, a soothing balm to the ache of the past few days. Despite the distance, you felt closer to him than ever, knowing that love could bridge the gap between continents.
Meanwhile, Beomgyu lay back on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a contented sigh. The weight of his worry had lifted, replaced by a promise to do better, to be the partner you deserved, even from halfway across the world.
There was a soft knock at his door, and Soobin peeked in, a knowing smile on his face. "All good?" he whispered.
Beomgyu nodded, his smile a mirror of Soobin's. "Yeah, all good. Thanks, hyung."
Yeonjun's voice floated in from the hallway, teasing but warm, "Now get some sleep, Romeo. We've got another big day tomorrow."
The room settled into silence as Beomgyu drifted off to sleep, a single thought comforting him into dreams: 'I love you too, Y/N.' It was a simple phrase, yet it held the power of his entire world.
And so, the night passed, with both you and Beomgyu holding onto the love that had been reaffirmed, a love that would continue to grow with each passing day, no matter the distance, even if you weren't beside each other.
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