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#I’ve got ff on the brain again lately ….
emipon · 9 months
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幻想 Phantoms
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onlyswan · 11 months
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hello! tulip anonie came back from the dead 🪦
i’ve just been catching up on your posts and why am i seeing people saying you’re leaving?!? 😭 but i’m so glad you clarified that you just need a break and i’m so sorry you have to go through that my love ♡ i just want to say if you really need a break then take it. you don’t have to write anything, and you don’t owe anyone anything. i think sometimes a slump is what we need to make us feel the yearning to do something that we love again because we’ll miss it eventually.
i guess may was a rough month for everyone. take your time to do selfcare for a whole week because may was an ass and i -too- wanna kick it in the butt for being the toughest and longest month so far. i know the ‘lack’ of interaction / appreciation for your writings lately can be discouraging and i totally get that. like sometimes it can feel as if a negative comment would be better than nothing, because at least ‘someone is acknowledging something that i made’. but i’m so happy so many people came to give you the love and support and it proves that you’re so loved and appreciated because your works really helped people to find comfort and have a peaceful time even just for 10 minutes of their (mine too) 24 hour long and tiring day.
oooh… and i want to tell you about a bit of my life lately… remember that i was going to yoongi’s concert and it was my first ever concert and you told me to forget everything except my ticket and powerbank? yea… my powerbank broke and i had to borrow this lovely lady’s 💀 i got a vip soundcheck and practically a barricade 🥹 i still can’t believe i got to see 1 of 7 of them right in front of my eyes 😭 i had so much fun and as an introvert -i hate crowded places so much and meeting so many people makes me anxious- i never thought i’d love concert as much as i did! but i’ll give it to yoongi and the lovely people i met, army 🫶🏻 because they’re the nicest people on earth istg. talking with armies online is so nice, but meeting so much of them in real life was soooo much better. the whole time i saw them, my brain just went “wow… we really love the same person / band huh. the tannies are so loved. i love it here”. speaking of concert… i got tickets for coldplay too! 😭praying that they will perform my univers live 🕯️🪐✨
and here we are in june! let’s have fun with tannies because it’s our month! i started this month still with a neverending college final project *booing and throwing tomatoes*. but i’m so happy because i finally found the type of pencil i’ve been searching for soooo long that i got out of my year long drawing slump… and i’ve been practicing again with drawing jungkook’s nose because i love it so much and i wanna *boop* it. and as i was sketching, i was watching the festa livestreams the whole day. a therapeutic experience :’] i miss them soooo much ❤️‍🩹
as i’m writing this, i’m eating unripe mangoes with salt and chili. reminds me of that drabble where jungkook, his abs, and oc went on a beach vacation ♡ OH! and the latest drabble!! i wanna be loved that way sooooo bad 🥲 and so steamy😮‍💨 and the bathtub scene… oh artemis i love how you can always always make the most out of the very intimate places in the house of lovers… the kitchen, the bedroom, and the bathroom. EVEN THE WALK IN CLOSET FFS. it’s just how good you are with what you do and you use your heart to dictate the words to your fingers.
buuut how are you feeling now? how are you doing? you can vent if you want to, i’m all ears! i hope good things happen ♡ have a great day artemis!
-🌷
hello my tulip anonie! i missed you so much! aghhh you got to see yoongi so close?!?!? i’m so happy 🥹 you deserve it so much !!!! 🥹 and thank god the lovely lady let you borrow their powerbank lmaooo. so nice to hear you had a wonderful experience at your first concert :") hopefully it’s the same for the next one too! coldplay is amazing!
and omg you draw??? you’re so cool <3 jungkook’s nose is my favorite nose ever if i was an artist i’d totally spend all my time practicing how to draw it. hehe
stop now i’m craving for mangoes 🫢 and maybe a jungkook. the latest drabble!! the bathtub scene… rips me to shreds when i think about it until now tbh. every room, no matter how small, can hold an eternity of memories 🥺 i guess is what i’m trying to say.
thank you so much for your understanding and endless love my beloved <3 life has just not been very kind, like everything that can go wrong is going wrong? i’m ok with challenges, but maybe only one at a time? 🤣 but you’re right! hopefully june will be a better month. with festa and pride month, i think we deserve that much !! hopefully i get to finish the next drabble soon too, which actually been helping me release my heartache little by little <3 i hope you have an amazing week my love! ☁️
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rpf-bat · 2 years
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19, 27, 33 for the Weird Writing asks?
19. Tell me a story about your writing journey. When did you start? Why did you start? Were there bumps along the way? Where are you now and where are you going?
I started writing fanfic in August 2011. It was right after I came home from summer camp. I’d made a friend at camp who used Fanfiction.net, and it inspired me to make an account myself. ^^;
Initially, I wrote a bunch of weeb shit (Yu Gi Oh, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Fruits Basket, Naruto, etc)
In December 2013, I joined Tumblr. I went through a somewhat cringey Supernatural phase, and ended up posting a couple SPN fics on my FF account.
Then, in late 2015, I got really into Fall Out Boy. In March 2016, I posted my first RPF fic, to my main blog. It was Pete Wentz/Reader. It was set in the Sixteen Candles music video universe (so…Vampire!Pete).
I never actually finished it, because I got some rude comments about how writing fic about Real People was weird and cringey. 😔
Then, in July 2016, I started getting into MCR…and I wrote Party Poison/OC.
Someone I was mutuals with on main - trying to defend me - said, “well it’s not actual Gerard, it’s just a character he played. So it’s not weird haha”
Me in my head: I really want to write about Actual Gerard, though. Fuck. 😰
In October 2016, I created this blog, so I could write MCR reader inserts without shame. ^^;
From October 2016 to February 2021, I was consistently writing MCR fic. That’s an incredibly long time, and I’m so grateful for the friends I’ve made in this fandom. 🖤
But, as winter came to an end, MCR stopped being my special interest. In March 2021, I got really into the anime RWBY, and made an AO3 account, so I could post my RWBY fics there.
Then, In May 2021, I watched Eurovision, and it changed everything.
Mere days after Måneskin won the competition, I started writing a Damiano David/Reader fic. It was multichapter, which was huge for me, because I’d written literally nothing but oneshots for five years straight.
….I didn’t finish this fic, either. 🤦‍♀️
Sometime around August 2021, when Balboa came out, my brain switched special interests again, from Måneskin to Blind Channel.
…and that’s still where it’s at now, a year later. 🤷‍♀️ I don’t know how long this will be my special interest. Or what the next one will be after this. But, I’ve made so many great friends in the BC fandom, too. 💖 So, I hope I stick around for a while.
27. Who is the most stressful character you’ve ever written? Why?
….I had to think hard about this one, because fanfic is rarely stressful for me! I have so much fun with all my characters. 😄
I guess I kind of stressed about Demon!Niko, because that AU was far dirtier and more explicit, than anything else I had written in years. 😳
33. Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?
Writing is pretty much it for me ^^;
But, I don’t only write fanfic! Fun fact: I’ve been writing poetry since I was like, nine years old.
During middle school, I started reciting my poetry publicly. I even caught the attention of my local literary magazine, while competing at a poetry slam. The magazine was only published in the county where I lived, but I got to tell everyone I was a Published Author lmao
I also got second place in the school talent show 🥈
I took a break from it for a while, but, when I was 20, my friend convinced me to recite some poems at an open mic night at my university. I got so much applause, I was really blown away 🥰
I wish I could find an event like that where I live now. I really miss it. As for how it ties into my fic writing…I’m able to relate to Niko and Gerard a bit more, because they’re lyricists. Singing on stage and reciting on stage feel a little similar, I guess?
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archived-kin · 3 years
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late with lucifer
note from kin: i just realised that the title sounds like a talk show ffs
anyway get ready to get SAPPY (and also get ready for a low-key out of character lucifer)
fandom: obey me!
character(s): gn! reader, lucifer, satan, beelzebub, belphie
pairing(s): lucifer/reader
warning(s): brief existential dread right at the end but i think it’s relatively light
genre: fluff all the way (with maybe a teensy bit of angst???? i accidentally got kinda deep towards the end)
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Deciding to commit yourself to a bona fide workaholic music nerd who would sooner chop his own hand off than skip a single working day for potentially the rest of eternity has been... a choice and a half, to say the least. Yes, he’s a sweetheart most of the time, and you love him more than possibly any being in the known universe (though jury’s still out on cats and the dragon you met a couple of months ago who brings you giant mouthfuls of leaves every weekend), but you’d be lying if he didn’t have qualities that make you want to drop kick some sense into him sometimes. And one of those qualities happens to be his absolute refusal to just take a damn break.
“Just one more hour,” He keeps telling you whenever you ask him if he’s finally finished with his mountain load of paperwork. “One more hour, and then we can spend some time together.”
It has been five hours since Lucifer went to his study to ‘get a bit of work done’. Five hours of attempting to finish the mountain of books Satan has recommended you in the corner of the library, probably irritating the poor guy to no end with your constant restless shifting. You're surprised that he hasn’t up and left to go read in his room in peace - then again, it’d be hypocritical of him to tell you off for moving about. You’d think a bookworm like him would be so absorbed by his beloved books that he wouldn’t be able to move at all, but he fidgets about so much when he’s reading that you’re surprised he hasn’t somehow worn a hole through his favourite armchair yet. At any rate, you’re pretty sure you can see him getting ready to flip himself upside down for the seventh time this evening in the corner of your eye.
You try once again to focus on the lucrative business deal happening in Chapter 52 for the fourth time in the last ten minutes, but your brain just doesn’t seem to be listening to you right now; no matter how hard you try to register what’s going on, the words just don’t want to be processed. Finally, checking the clock on the wall for what feels like the hundredth time this evening, you decide that you might as well go bother your busy bee upstairs. It’s been at least a fortnight since you’ve been able to spend a full evening or night with him, and, if you’re honest, it’s beginning to get a little on your nerves.
Satan barely looks up from his book as you hop to your feet and begin making your way out, though he does lift a hand to wave a brief goodbye. Contrary to your prediction, he has not flipped himself upside down, but is now sitting the wrong way around on his armchair instead, facing the seat’s back, with his book carefully balanced on its head. Unconventional, but you’ll give him credit for the creativity.
The House of Lamentation is oddly quiet for a Friday night, but you’d guess that’s because Asmo and Mammon, the two loudest members of the house, have taken it upon themselves to celebrate the arrival of the weekend by going out for the night and probably blowing their savings in the process. Well, Asmo will be blowing his savings - Mammon will most likely find a way to put his spendings on one of his other brother’s tabs, or worse, yours. Then again, you don’t buy things often, so you suppose you can spare a bit of cash. (Knowing Mammon, though, he’ll probably buy enough to put you in debt for the rest of your life.)
On your way through the corridor, you’re struck by a sudden idea. Lucifer’s been shut in his study ever since he got home from the R.A.D., which means he most likely won't have eaten anything. At any rate, you know for a fact he wasn’t there for dinner with everyone else, which means you now have a much better excuse for going to see him other than just wanting to. Lucifer may be a stubborn demon, but he's never been able to resist a mug of tea and some biscuits on long nights when it's you offering them.
Beel is rustling about in the snack cupboard when you slip into the kitchen - no surprises there, but it is a little odd that he’s going for the lighter foods rather than something more filling. You'd comment on why he's down here so late into the night - he should really be in bed - but then again, it's Beel. He'd listen to his stomach over his brain any day of the week.
“Oh, hey,” He greets as he retreats from the cupboard with an armful of what look like several cookie boxes stacked on top of each other. “Did you get hungry as well?”
You shake your head and pull two mugs out of the crockery cabinet. “Nope. Just thought I’d bring Lucifer some tea and biscuits, you know?”
“He’s been in his office for ages,” Beel agrees with an earnest nod. He glances down at the heap of cookies in his arms, then pauses. “Ah… here.”
You look up as you fill the kettle with water to see him holding one of the boxes in his arms out to you.  “...what’s this for?”
“There aren’t any biscuits left in the cupboard,” He says by way of explanation, shaking the box he’s offering to indicate that you should take it. “So you can have these.”
“Aw, you don’t have to do that, Beel!” You gently push the box back towards him and give his arm a fond pat. “I’ll just bring him something else. Go ahead and eat the cookies, okay?”
On any other occasion, Beel would most likely have accepted your offer without hesitation (the day that Beel rejects food will probably never come, but you have a sneaking suspicion that a black hole would rip this reality apart if it does), but it must have been a really good day for him in terms of being fed, because he actually continues to try to give you the box. You’re tempted to coo at the big softie’s uncharacteristic generosity, but you’re not particularly sure how that would go over with him. If being in a relationship with Mr Pridey McPrideface upstairs has taught you anything, it’s that you can never take a reaction for granted.
“No, you have it,” Beel insists, shifting so that he doesn’t drop the rest of his biscuits and stubbornly attempting to shove the box into your hands. “I’ve got plenty right here.”
Your surprise must show on your face, because a moment later he smiles a little sheepishly and adds, “I promise I’m not sick or anything. I’ve still got lots right here. One box won’t make that much of a difference.”
You think it over for a moment as the kettle begins to bubble aggressively behind you. You’re a staunch believer in the fact that one should never deprive Beel of his food, partially because he’s an absolute sweetheart who deserves the food he eats, and partially because something bad could and probably would happen if said food is taken from him. Then again, you’re not taking the food from him, strictly speaking - he’s the one offering it to you. That exempts you, right? At the very least, you have a counter-argument if Belphie tries to persecute you for taking his beloved twin brother’s biscuits. (He probably wouldn’t - the kid adores you - but it’s good to be prepared for possible trials.)
“Ah, fine...” You eventually relent and allow Beel to press the box into your hands. Your compliance is well worth it - the beam on his face and the little pat he gives the box in your hands in satisfaction could probably cure multiple strains of cancer. “You’re the sweetest, you know that?”
He flushes slightly. “I-it’s not that big of a deal…”
“Oh, that’s nonsense,” You tell him firmly over your shoulder, beginning to busy yourself with the teabags and sugar as the kettle hisses to a halt. “Personally, I think I’m going to remember it for the rest of my life.”
You smile to yourself as Beel laughs a little bashfully behind you. “Thanks…”
“No problem, bub,” You reply, pausing in your work to turn around and shoot him a wink. “Hey, chuck me a spoon, would you?”
He nods and does just that - literally. He throws the spoon across the kitchen with such precision that it lands perfectly in your outstretched hand.
You thank him and begin to pour the hot water into Lucifer’s mug. He says that he likes his tea as is, without any bells or whistles or fancy additions, but you’ve been doing this thing for long enough that you know that he actually prefers his tea with a teaspoon of honey and just a splash of lemon. He just refuses to actually say it out loud.
(To be honest, you’re not sure why he does that - does he think tea with honey and lemon is a wimpy drink or something just because you told him it’s often drunk as a remedy for a sore throat in the human world? Knowing the way his mind works, it’s probably something along those lines, but still, it’s a weird conclusion to make.)
You finish preparing Lucifer’s tea quickly - you’ve done this so many times that the movements have become second nature to you at this point - and start making your own. The drinks are finished a minute or so later, and with that you begin setting up your little snack tray.
After a moment’s debate, you decide that today is worth going the extra mile, and start to carefully arrange the biscuits on a pretty plate.  It’s a bit of a hassle to get them into the right formation, but it’ll be well worth it once you get them to their intended receiver - Lucifer always gets the fondest little smile on his face when you bring him his biscuits in patterns, and that man doesn’t smile nearly enough for your taste. Personally, you’d quite like it if he smiled like that all the time, but then again, their rarity is what makes them so precious to you.
Ah - you’re starting to get sappy again. That’s a surefire sign that you haven’t spent enough time with your beloved demon lately. Well, it’s a good thing you’re going to see him now, isn’t it?
The door to Lucifer’s study is still as tightly shut as it was five hours ago when you approach it, but you doubt he’s actually locked it. He’s stopped doing that ever since your visits while he works became a regular thing - he hasn’t said it out loud yet, but you know that it’s his way of showing you that you’re always welcome to come in.
Unlocked as it is, though, you can’t exactly turn the doorknob to let yourself in. You’re a human of many talents, but being able to balance a heavy tray in one hand is not one of them. Lucifer’s tea wouldn’t make into his study - it’d just end up all over the floor.
“Lucifer!” You call softly through the door, mindful that he might be having another one of his work-induced headaches, “I’ve brought you some tea! Open up!”
For a while, the only reply is silence. You know there shouldn’t be any reason for him to be, but you can’t help but worry briefly if Lucifer’s somehow angry at you. Then again, Lucifer’s always liked to play the fashionably late card against you - whether to tease you or to disguise something, you’ll never know.
It turns out that your little worry was unfounded - a few moments later, the door swings open to reveal your favourite demon in all his exhausted-looking glory. Lucifer, who looks like the physical manifestation of work burnout, offers you a tired smile, and stands back to let you enter.
(Here’s a little secret - Lucifer would never tell you this, but he’d perked up like a kid when candy is offered the moment he heard your voice. Still, gotta put up the cool front, right? Even if that means waiting restlessly right next to the door for a minute so that you don’t think he’s over-eager…)
“Thank you.” He murmurs as you bring the tray over to his desk and set it down on one of the few patches of wood that aren’t covered by papers.
You dramatically pretend to swipe sweat from your forehead as if you’ve just finished a ten-mile run and shoot a smile up at him. “All in a day’s work, love.”
He smiles softly and leans in to gently press a kiss to the crown of your head. His pale cheeks have darkened slightly - Lucifer’s always been a softie when it comes to the host of sappy nicknames you’ve given him. One gentle ‘sweetheart’ and he’s melting like an ice cube on a hot day. It’s the sort of thing that people like Mammon and Levi would probably call gross or something, but you honestly couldn’t really care less about that. It’s not harming anyone else and it makes both of you happy, so why shouldn’t you give your lover as many endearing pet names as you can come up with?
“What even is all this?” You ask, peering at the papers scattered across the desk as Lucifer moves over to have a look at the plate of biscuits. You look up just in time to spot the way his eyes light up slightly when he sees the flower you've arranged them into.
“This and that,” He replies vaguely, hovering a single gloved hand uncertainly over the plate, as if trying to decide which biscuit he can take without spoiling the pattern.
“That’s hardly an answer at all,” You complain, plucking three broken quills from among the documents and waving them at him. “Why do you keep using these? A pen would be way more efficient.”
“Official documents should be written in the traditional way,” Lucifer tells you. He takes his time chewing the biscuit he’s finally chosen before continuing. “And Diavolo prefers quill and ink calligraphy to look at.”
“Honestly…” You round the edge of the desk and reach up to brush some powdered sugar from the corner of his mouth. “You don’t have to do absolutely everything according to him.”
Lucifer blinks down at you, lips parting slightly in half awe and half surprise as you smile at him. “Ah…”
His smile widens slightly, and he gazes at you with so much fondness in his eyes that you almost feel a little weak at the knees at the very sight. Lucifer really is a dangerous demon - in more ways than one.
“Well, c-come on, then,” You prompt him abruptly, not wanting him to realise how much his gaze has affected you, because you just know it’s going to give him an ego boost. He pauses in surprise as you start tugging him over to the big armchair beside the fire - the one that the both of you can fit snugly into together. “Let’s have a drink together.”
“I still have papers to fill out—” He attempts to say, but cuts himself off as you shake your head and stubbornly attempt to push him down into the seat. It doesn’t work - Lucifer’s much stronger than you, after all - but he does at least seem to appreciate the effort.
“You’re taking a break whether you like it or not,” You insist, starting to smack lightly at his arms in an bid to get him to listen to you. “Papers can wait. I’m more important.”
That does get a little chuckle out of him, and he finally relents, sitting down with a subtle sigh. “That goes without saying.”
You laugh, suddenly a little more hot around the collar than you’d have liked. “You said it!”
Pausing to retrieve the tray with the tea and biscuits and set it on the table beside the armchair, you quickly join Lucifer in front of the fire, snuggling in at his side and letting out a blissful sigh as you feel him start to draw circles on your arm with his fingers. It’s a sort of habit that he’s developed over the last few months - you’re not sure if he even realises that he’s doing it.
The two of you stay like that in comfortable silence for several minutes. Lucifer’s tense shoulders relax more and more with each passing moment, and soon enough, he’s sprawled out against you, pressing his cheek lovingly into the crown of your head. 
It’s only at moments like this that you get to see this softer version of him, so you always cherish it when it happens. Lucifer may be a slightly passive-aggressive panther who could kill most beings with a swipe of his hand if he sees fit, but, every now and then, he’s a sleepy panther who’ll roll over and let you scratch behind his ears.
Conversation is usually sparse at times like this - the two of you are content enough in each other’s presence that you don’t really need to make small talk. Today, however, Lucifer seems to have something he wants to vent about.
“Belphie has been missing a lot of his homework again lately,” He murmurs. You make a noise of affirmation to indicate that you’re listening, staring at the mugs of tea sitting on the table and pondering whether the two of you will actually manage to part for long enough to drink them.
“Is it anything important?” You ask after a moment, playing absent-mindedly with his left hand. He doesn’t make any move to stop you as you mess about with his slender fingers, so you assume that he doesn’t mind.
“Mostly essays,” He replies, shifting slightly and letting out a quiet sigh. “He’s never liked writing them, but he hasn’t had so many missing before.”
You make a thoughtful sound. Now that you think about it, wasn’t Belphie confiding in you about this the other day?
“It’s just hard to sit down and concentrate sometimes, especially when I’m always so tired,” You remember him saying resignedly over hot chocolate and marshmallows. “It’s not like I don’t want to turn all my homework in on time. Sometimes I just can’t.”
“Well, you shouldn’t force yourself to do them, either,” You’d replied, giving his shoulders a sympathetic pat. “Needs over school of course. If you need to sleep more, then sleep more - if you feel like you can’t write the essay, then don’t write the essay. I’ll talk to Lucifer if he gets mad at you.”
He’d given you a grateful smile then, and turned back to his hot chocolate with a marginally brighter look on his face.
“Belphie’s been having a lot of nightmares lately, so he isn’t getting as much sleep,” You say slowly. “I told him to go ahead and take as many naps as he has to. His needs are more important than schoolwork, after all.”
Lucifer takes a long while to answer, but you don’t mind. It’s only fairly recently that he’s really come to terms with the idea that he doesn’t need to be so hard on his brothers - that it’s okay to put their comfort before whatever image of respectability he’s trying to keep up for Diavolo. The change has been somewhat jarring, according to Satan, but it’s not an unwelcome one, and you’ll gladly take responsibility for it with your constant reminders and careful explanations that Lucifer’s younger brothers have their own problems that he needs to give more leeway for.
“...did he come to talk to you about this?” He asks finally.
“Yeah.” You can’t see his face, but you can practically hear the frown beginning to pinch at his brows. “I know it might not seem like it sometimes, but he does want to make you proud. He’s never wanted to disappoint you.”
He takes a deep breath and releases it with a low hum. “...Belphie has never disappointed me.”
“Seems that he doesn’t realise that sometimes, though,” You sigh, tracing the seams of his glove with your index finger. “He’s a good kid, really.”
Lucifer doesn’t give a verbal reply, but he does hum again. You shift slightly and turn to look up at him; he looks back at you with sleepy, half-lidded crimson eyes. “Take it easy on him, okay?”
He gazes at you in contemplative silence for a long while, blinking slowly like an affectionate cat. Finally, he nods, and you beam proudly, dipping your head to rest on his chest, carefully positioning yourself so that his buttons don’t dig into your cheek.
“I’ll speak to his teachers,” He says quietly. “We should be able to arrange something.”
You smile against the fabric of his waistcoat, taking his hand in yours and giving it a squeeze. “That’s progress. I’m proud of you.”
He doesn’t respond, but you know full well that he loves it when you say that to him. He didn’t in the early days of your relationship, mostly because he’d thought you were patronising him, but now that the two of you are so much more familiar with each other, he’s learnt to recognise that you don’t mince words; you say what you mean, and you mean what you say. Which is exactly why, as the Avatar of Pride, he absolutely loves it when you tell him that you’re proud of him.
Lucifer himself is deep in thought. Struck by a sudden warmth spreading through him, quite independent of the crackling fire before him, he wraps his arms around you, resting his cheek against your head. It’s at moments like these, when you’re so close to him, that he realises just how fragile humans like you are.
It terrifies him sometimes, knowing that the unforgiving march of time means that you cannot be with him forever. One day you will leave, and you will grow old and fade away without him, because, no matter how much he wishes otherwise, you belong to a different realm. You are not a demon, and he is not a human; your worlds can collide briefly, for a single, beautiful moment, but then they will continue to move in their own orbit - and perhaps they will never meet again.
Some would say that, for this reason, he never should have fallen in love in the first place. Relationships like yours have always had a sort of taboo, even in the Devildom, because all beings are not created equal; humans have such short, meaningless lifespans compared to demons and angels, such little power, always depending on leaders and faith in a deity that they cannot prove the existence of. That is what demons tend to think of humanity, and until he’d met you, Lucifer had felt similarly.
But your life has been anything but meaningless, and the power you hold over him and his brothers is far stronger than any amount of potent magic that any being holds. The seven lords of the Devildom would lay waste to all three realms should anything happen to you. 
Lucifer had never thought that he had the ability to love so deeply and so purely, but then again, he’d also never thought that a human like you could exist. It seems that he’s been wrong about a lot of things, and he can only pray that he will be wrong in his prediction of how this will end.
But you’re with him now, curled up against him with a content smile on your face. For now, you’re here, and while you are, Lucifer doesn’t want to waste time on worries.
Your story is yet to reach its ending, and if Lucifer knows anything, it’s that he will stay by your side until then. As long as your worlds are still connected, he will continue to love you, and he will love you long after your worlds separate again.
He’s sure of it.
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all this time
omg so i have not written in forever but then the bestie @goldensonlyangel did a writing challenge (CONGRATS ON 800!!!!!!!!!) and i got inspired so here we are :) I know it's not super long but i like how it turned out!!!
as always, if you don't like the dress i linked, just imagine something else! that's just the visual I had in mind :)
warnings: none
word count: 1.8k
"Macy, I don't have anything to wear," you sighed, holding the phone between your ear and shoulder as you poured a bowl of cereal. "You can borrow one of mine! Or i will literally buy you one. I'll do whatever it takes, you have to come!" "Why?" You whined. "I always feel so awkward. You know I love you, but everyone couples off and it's just weird." "But Harry's going to be there," she crooned, and you had never been more grateful that she couldn't see your face. Your face that was currently flaming hot at just the mention of him.
"I don't care," you lied. "He clearly doesn't like me, so I don't even want to try anymore." "You're wrong," she insisted. "We can all tell he has the biggest crush on you." "I don't think so," you said, even though your heart was fluttering at the idea. "Okay, I'll come. But you have to go shopping with me." "Of course!" She exclaimed. "Can we go right now?" "Give me an hour, and then I'll come pick you up."
-----
"How about this?" Macy asked, holding up the shortest dress you had ever seen. "That's basically just a shirt," you rolled your eyes. "Harry would love it," she grinned. "Harry won't care, because he doesn't like me," you said, trying to keep your voice level. You told yourself a long time ago that there was no point in getting your hopes up about him. You could never have him, so why hurt your own feelings? She shook her head, but seemed to get the hint that she should drop it for now. She pulled another dress off the rack, this time one that was much more your style. Your eyes lit up at her selection. "I like that one," you nodded. "I think it would look really good."
-----
"You look amazing!" She beamed, pulling you out of the changing room to stand in front of the full length mirrors. You couldn't help the smile that grew on your lips as you examined yourself in the mirror. "I do," you agreed. "Harry- I mean, everyone's going to love it," she said, blushing slightly at her slip up. You had to give her credit: she didn't give up easily.
-----
"You're here!!!" Macy screamed, rushing to the door and pulling you into a hug. "Of course I'm here!" you said, trying to match her energy. It wasn't an easy task; she had clearly had quite a few drinks tonight. She pulled away, holding you at arm's length to inspect your dress. "And you look amazing," she grinned. "Who helped you pick out that dress???" You smiled, shaking your head lightly. "I need a drink," you said, pulling back a bit more. "Of course!" she chirped. "Everything's set up in the kitchen. If you need anything else just find me!" Then she was off, pushing through the small crowd of people and right into the middle of the living room turned dance floor. You made your way to the kitchen, deciding you were much too sober to join her. You pushed open the door, hoping you would maybe see Bella, or Charlie, or any of the other girls you hadn't had the chance to catch up with lately. Instead, you ran directly into a broad chest belonging to none other than Harry, the man you'd had an unrequited crush on for years. "Oh- I'm so sorry!" you rushed out, grasping at the front of his shirt to steady yourself. He gasped slightly, reflexively gripping onto your arms to keep you from toppling over. "You alright?" he asked with a small smile. "I'm fine," you said, keeping your eyes on his chest as your face heated up to an almost painful degree. "Sure?" He asked one more time, ducking his head to meet your eyes. "I'm good," you said with a nervous laugh. "You can, um-" you glanced down to where his hands were still on your arms. "Oh!" He exclaimed, eyes going wide as he realized he was still holding onto you. "Sorry," he said, a faint blush tingeing his cheeks as he stepped back. "No, it's okay," you said quickly, not wanting him to feel bad. "I'm just- I'm gonna get a drink." He laughed, running a ringed hand through his hair. "Good idea. I think I need one too." He moved to stand next to you as you browsed the large selection of alcohol on Macy's table. "I think she might have a problem," you joked. "We might need to stage an intervention," he nodded very seriously before his face broke into a smile. "But," you said, reaching for a bottle of tequila, "She keeps us stocked for parties, so I can't bring myself to care too much." "Agreed," he grinned, reaching for the vodka. There were a few moments of silence as the two of you poured your drinks, and then Harry spoke again. "You look lovely tonight." His voice was soft, and he sounded almost nervous. "Thank you," you smiled. "I'll be honest, I didn't really want to come. Macy said I had to." "For once, I'm glad she's so pushy," he laughed lightly. "If she wasn't, I wouldn't have gotten to see you." Your heart sped up at his words, and it took you a second to fully process what he had just said. "I'm glad too," you said softly. "Why, um..." He cleared his throat before speaking again. "Why didn't you want to come?" "It's always just a little weird, you know?" you said, keeping your eyes on the drink in your hand. "Everyone pairs off by the end of the night and I kind of feel like a... seventeenth wheel." "I know what you mean," he nodded. "Like, I'm happy all our friends have found love, or whatever, but I also hate them juuuust a little bit." He pinched his fingers close together, squinting at you through the tiny gap. "Just this much." "Well, I'm glad it's only that much," you laughed. "But wait, since when are you not part of a couple? I thought you were with Ellie?" "No, we were never really together," he said, looking down at his drink as you had earlier. "I mean, I liked her, but apparently she didn't feel the same. She went off with Paul." "Oh," you said quietly, not sure how to respond to that. "Paul. What a skank." "Such a skank," he agreed, breaking into a laugh again. The warm feeling in your chest was probably partly from the alcohol, but you knew it was mostly Harry. Seeing him so happy, being the one who made him laugh... there was no better feeling. The two of you lapsed into a comfortable silence again,
sipping on your drinks every so often. By the time you finished, the music from the other room had quieted considerably. It was now a slow song, and you had no doubt that when you left the safety of the kitchen, you would find couples wrapped up in each other, too in love to care about anyone else. Just the idea of it was enough to kill your slight buzz, and you sighed involuntarily. Harry didn't appear to notice. He seemed to be deep in his own head, thinking about something. Before you got the courage to ask him what was on his mind, he stood up straighter and cleared his throat. "Y/N... can I have this dance?" He held out one hand to you, the other sweeping behind his back in a formal gesture. You giggled at his attempt to act prim and proper, when you both knew that was the furthest thing from his real personality. "I would be delighted," you said, copying his tone as you put your hand in his. He led you out of the kitchen and onto the makeshift dance floor. Just as you had imagined, most of your friends were with their significant others, swaying slowly to the soft music. Harry pulled you close, resting his free hand on your waist, his fingertips brushing the skin of your back. You shivered at the feeling, reaching your other hand up to rest on his shoulder. "You know... I had a dream about you last night," he said, continuing to sway the two of you in a slow circle. "Oh yeah? What about?" He hesitated for a minute, looking into your eyes. "It was just like this," he said quietly. "Only better." "How was it better?" Your voice was quiet, almost a whisper. "Because you were mine," he breathed. "I finally got my head out of my ass and asked you to be mine." You could barely breathe at this point. Your heart was pounding out of your chest, and you were sure harry could feel it from where his hand rested on your side. He didn't say anything though, he just keep his eyes on yours. "You want... you want me to be yours?" You asked, voice shaking slightly. "Would you?" He seemed just as nervous as you were. "I- yeah," you nodded, still staring at him. "I would." He breathed a sigh of relief. "I really like you," he admitted. "I have for a long time." "You have?" you asked in disbelief. "I've liked you for a long time." "Really?" He seemed just as surprised as you were. "We're really stupid, aren't we?" You laughed, dropping your head against his chest as you nodded. "We are." You felt him inhale deeply, and then his fingers were brushing your jaw, tilting your face back up to look at him. "Can I kiss you?" he asked softly, gaze flitting down to your lips before he met your eyes again. "Yes, you can," you said breathlessly. "Please?" He smiled, leaning closer and pressing his lips against your cheek. You nearly melted at the contact, brain short circuiting at the realization that Harry, the man you had loved for so long, felt the same way about you, and was standing here in your arms, about to kiss you. His lips lingered against your skin for a few seconds before he pulled away slightly. "You have no idea how long I've wanted to do this," he sighed, giving you no more time to think about it before his lips were on yours. Your eyes slipped closed as his hand moved to your back, pulling you closer to him. He was gentle, his lips moving softly against yours as you pressed your fingers into his shoulder. He pulled back after a few seconds, resting his forehead against yours with a breathless laugh. "Can't believe i waited so long to do that," he sighed. "Neither can I," you said softly, turning your head slightly to kiss his cheek. "I'm glad you finally went for it." "Me too."
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naralanis · 3 years
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little bumps in the road (pt. 24)
OK everyone, we’re going to finish in 26, maaaybe 27 parts if I decide to go ahead with an epilogue! Enjoy, the ride is almost over!
Previously on LBitR...
For one interminable moment, it goes exactly how Lena remembers it would. The pain—white hot and blinding, cresting in waves that crash against her very psyche in what feels like a sonic boom right between her temples. She feels it bubble up under her skin, searing the insides of her skull, like her brain is boiling.
It makes her feel… suspended, somehow. Untethered from herself—she’s not exactly an observer watching over her own body and mind succumb to the whims of another; she’s still very much there, feeling the flashes and the searing pain that come with whatever reshuffling of memories and actions that took place in her mind as viscerally as if it were all real.
Wait.
No, no, they are real. The pain is real. Lex wouldn’t have it any other way; he would always want to inflict maximum, tailor-made suffering…
Would imaginary pain so visceral it feels real be his version of tailor-made suffering for Lena?
His trigger words are still swimming in her mind, bouncing around, bumping and rattling in there like her psyche is a pinball machine, but there’s something else, too. It’s not poignant, not so invasive in her mind, but it’s there, like a mantra Lena didn’t come up with, a little obstacle everything else that has been forcefully injected into her mind has been plonking against.
You know, Lena. That means you are prepared.
Lena feels blood in her mouth as she tries to make sense of the mayhem in her head, as she ponders what the hell she’s supposed to do, detached and bound to the searing flashes all at once. It’s exhausting.
Her tongue swells a little where at the spot on the side she had apparently bit raw; she worries it against her teeth, feeling and tasting the tender muscle in something she can recognize as a conscious, deliberate action.
Oh.
That means something, Lena’s sure of it. She just needs to unscramble what’s left of her mind enough to analyse it, somehow.
“Lena, Lena, Lena,” Lex’s voice comes through the intervals between flashes, haunting and childlike, crystal clear though almost robotic as it is filtered through speakers. “Open your eyes, Lena! I don’t want you to miss the show!”
Lena wants to retort that her eyes are open, otherwise, where the hell is all the light coming from? But as she clenches her jaw, the fresh cut on her tongue throbs, and she remembers she’s in a Lexosuit.
Her lids snap open and she is immediately greeted by the orange hue of the suit’s visor as it filters the skyline of National City in a crystal clear image and rows of data. It’s a bit much for her brain—she goes from dizzying white flashes to the overwhelming displays in the Lexosuit, and it takes her several long moments to adjust.
And so, Lena blinks into a state of half-awareness. She’s flying, zipping through the air above National City, but she has no recollection of how she got there; another gift from the little implant in her temple. The way her body moves is… unnatural—she’s not controlling the way her limbs adjust so that her current flight pattern is uninterrupted by the wind, and in the part of her mind that is only partly aware of that fact wonders how exactly Lex is controlling everything, whether he’s doing it via the implant or via the suit itself.
“Hey, Lena, I’ve got an idea,” Lex says in her ear, and the Lexosuit stops in midair. It does so roughly and abruptly, enough to give Lena some hope that maybe, just maybe, Lex is not controlling her actual physical movements.
But knowing her luck as of late, he’s probably doing both.
“Let’s play a game, sis,” Lex says jovially. “Let’s play ‘Find the Blue Dot… Then Kill It’.” His laugh echoes in the confined space of the helmet. “What do you think?”
Lena tries to answer this time, but all she manages for several moments is a pitiful series of angry grunts—it amuses Lex to no end, she can tell even in her altered state as his barely contained chuckles reach her ears—until she finally muddles through a gritted jumble of words.
“Ff-u—fuck-k you…”
He tuts loudly. “Now, now, Lena, that’s no way to start a game. You have to pay attention—look, there’s a little dot coming your way right now!”
Lena feels the agonizing slowness of her reaction time; it’s like her limbs are made of lead, and she hasn’t even really tried to move them yet. Her eyes seem to move slowly too—she wonders if her pupils are contracting and dilating again with no control, because it takes her an excruciatingly long time to focus on the little blue dot that beeps on the suit’s radar, indeed careening Lena’s way at breakneck speed.
“Nngh” she grunts again, like she’s chewing out the words. “K-kar—Kara—”
“Let’s give the Girl of Steel a warm welcome, shall we?”
Everything happens in slow-motion then—or at least, the part of Lena’s brain that she’s compartmentalized away for herself perceives it that way.
She sees that little blue dot zoom through her visor once, twice, before entering her actual field of vision. Kara’s blue suit is a weird shade of green through the orange of her visor, her cape an odd brown hue as it flutters in the wind, though the movement seems so slow to Lena’s perception she might as well be in water.
With her hair cropped short and the different colours of her suit, it’s like Lena’s brain has to play catch-up for a moment; it’s like she cannot recognize Kara for a second that stretches into infinity as the Kryptonian comes closer and closer.
Lena feels something at her back—a mechanical whirr, hydraulic hisses—and then, against her will, her arms are outstretched towards a rapidly approaching Supergirl, and Lena’s brain has finally caught up, just as the blasters at the suit’s forearms click into place and begin to glow green.
An image of Supergirl, of Kara—long hair, red and blue suit, face riddled with green—flashes before her eyes, and she’s falling, falling lifeless from the skies. For a moment, Lena thinks she’s seeing the future, but at with another painstakingly slow blink she’s back in the present, where Kara’s currently barreling towards fully loaded Kryptonite blasters.
“Kara, no!”
There’s an explosion of green, and the impact is enough to send the Lexosuit reeling backwards—Lex’s laughing in her ears, and Lena has to fight to get her bearings. Kara’s blue dot still darts in Lena’s visor—the radar puts her somewhere behind the Kryptonite-powered suit.
She’s alright.
“What a miraculous save from Supergirl,” Lex’s voice cackles. “Very last minute, though; a little less graceful than we’d like, but we’re used to her brawn, aren’t we, Lena?”
“S-stop it,” Lena hisses, and she’s not sure she’s talking to Lex or to herself, but the thrusters on the suit don’t heed her choked plea.
She’s zipping after Kara in what probably looks like a frenzied, disorienting game of tag over National City’s tallest skyscrapers. Kara dodges, dives, curls around buildings only to shoot upwards again, and Lena tries her hardest to follow the Kryptonian’s movement with her eyes as her body blindly follows.
She needs to stop this—she can already feel the blasters powering up again, and the suit has locked onto Kara once more, preparing to fire; Lena can even tell when Lex will take the opportunity—as soon as Kara weaves back from the CatCo building and into open skies—
“Lena!”
It’s Kara’s voice, coming from quite a distance, but Lena can still hear it, clear as day. For someone who needs to fly away from a Kryptonite-powered war-suit, Kara sounds relieved. She’s stopped zipping through the air, now merely hovering above the CatCo helipad, a sitting duck for the blasters Lena wields unwillingly.
“K-kara, stay away!” Lena shouts, the panic easing the passage of her words through her throat, even if her entire body rebels against the action.
“She never learns, does she?” Lex drawls from within, sounding absolutely giddy. The green light emanating from the blasters seems to illuminate Lena’s full field of vision; it gives everything a sickly glow.
“Kara, go!”
“You can stop it, Lena—I know you can!”
Lena feels like she’s shaking her head, but it’s hard to tell—the Lexosuit is suffocating, her mind is a jumble of thoughts, past and present, some of them not even hers. She can practically feel the implant pulsating in her temple.
“Lena! Look at me! You can stop this; Lena, just—look at me!”
Lena is, she’s looking straight at Kara, who has her arms raised above her head as if she’s surrendering despite the crackle of green in the air, as if she can’t see the blasters powering up or hear the beeping of the suit’s targeting system, and no, no, no, no—
The whole world explodes in green.
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marblesphere · 3 years
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Dream or Reality (Noctis x Reader)
I wrote this fic years ago. So, I fixed up a little and decided to post it here. I have also posted it in devianart under LastMoogleHunter. Happy reading!
“Aaaaahhh….what a boring day, always the same. There’s nothing new, nothing makes me excited.” I sighed for the umpteenth times. I see, I haven’t introduced myself, my name is [Name] [Last Name], I am 12th grade in Destiny High. This is my last year, thus was recommended in making good memories. Though…there is nothing fun, I wish Final Fantasy characters are real people. That’ll so much fun, especially if there is Noctis.....
Kyaaaa!!! I am so embarassed... ahem, let’s put that aside and let’s get onto the story.
This morning also has the same routine, wake up, bath, breakfast, school, home, dinner, sleep and so on. And coincidentally my literature teacher decides it’s fun to see her students suffer, and thus given us a homework about composition. I groan, this is going to kill my brain cells. “God, please let my life get interesting such as Final Fantasy character come to life..... Just kidding, it’s not like it can be granted anyway.” I exhaled. I put my homework and stationery on my desk and start thinking about the theme I am going to write. Not long after I start doze off.
My internal clock woke me up from my slumber. Groggily, I glance my clock and it shows 6.30 a.m. I blink once, twice and rub my eyes to make sure I am not mistaking it. In instant, all sleepiness fades away. ”Aaaahh!! I am late!!” I freaked out and with lightning speed I took a bath. While I was stripping though, something fell from my shorts’ pocket. I pick it up and examine it, it was a golden watch. Curious, I open it and something was craved on the lid ‘aeternam vinculo’ ‘what’s this mean? More importantly when I got this thing?’ I was thinking and completely forgotten the time.
“[Name]! breakfast is ready!” Kaa-san called.
“No way!” I yelped and resumed my activity.
I run down the stairs and eat breakfast quickly, “[Name], there’s still some time.” Kaa-san said.
I gulp down my orange juice, “Gotta go. Bye Kaa-san, Tou-san.” I said as I ran to school. Fortunately, the distance to school from my house is not that far. Upon arriving there, I still see a lot of students leisurely walking to the school. Looks like I am safe. I sigh in relief as I pat my chest. suddenly, I feel a tap on my shoulder and I turn around, but the sight of that ‘someone’ tapping my shoulder made my eyes widenend.
“Morning.” He said, while I blinked once, twice, titled my head and stare at him as he is an alien landing on earth. The person who greeted me is no other than the famous Chocobo head, Cloud Strife.
I keep staring at him without blinking. “You…” I could only manage a word to come out from my mouth.
Cloud looks at me oddly, “What’s wrong?” he asked. 
“Good morning you two.” A new voice called. Our head snap to that direction and find Tifa and Yuffie are walking toward us.
My eyes widened ‘[Name].exe is shutting down.’ I can practically hear a robotic voice said that. ‘What exactly is going on?’
Seeing my confused blank looking face, concern made to Tifa’s face, “[Name], what’s wrong?” She asked.
So, I did the most logical action I could at the moment, I pinch my left hand, “Ow…” ‘It hurt.’ I rubbed my reddening left hand.
“[Name], are you really alright?” Tifa asked again. “Don’t worry Tifa, I bet she just woke up.” Yuffie grinned.
‘It’s not a dream....? t-they are really alive...?’ I am still confused, I am still not sure if I am having a realistic dream or this is the reality. But if so, what about yesterday and the day before yesterday and the days before today? Was that reality a dream? And this is the real reality? My mind is in jumbled mess, but I am happy. My wish has come true, my wish for the Final Fantasy characters are real people and as a bonus I have befriend with them. There’s no more I could ask for.
I feel someone shakes me. “Huh?” I snapped back to the reality.
“Maybe we should get her to infirmary.” Tifa said.
“Whooa. [Name], you really sick?” Yuffie was shocked by the news.
“Let’s go.” Cloud said as he prepared to drag me.
“W-wait! I’m fine, I just dozing because I just woke up.” I said putting a sheepish grin.
“See, she’s just woke up.” Yuffie grinned again, but I can see she was relieved as well.
‘Well, I did wish something interesting like this happen. Well, dream or not let’s enjoyed it to the last.’ I smiled at my thought as we walked to the class.
Upon entering class, I no longer panic on what I saw. There are some FF characters here and there, but I spot no Noctis, ‘Well, I’ll be lying if I am not disappointed.’ I sigh softly. ‘Well, nothing goes smooth now.’
Then I heard giggles and squeals. ‘Don’t tell me this is a famous scene from shoujo manga. The moment when male lead and his group enter the classroom. If so, then… Those girls will be the mortal enemies of the female lead. After the plot milked her usefulness, she and her sidekicks will fall into ruin.’ I blinked as I looked at those girls. ‘What a shame. They look nice enough though. But, I wonder who they’re fangirling about.’ I follow the crowd’s eyes, then the door opened revealing ‘Emergency! Mayday! Mayday! All staffs please evacuate! The ship will sink soon!Eh? EEEEEEHHHHH???!!! What is happening?! Why is he here?! No... I mean… I am happy that he is here. But he being here is a problem itself to me, in many ways.’ The one who opened the door is no other than Noctis.
I stiffen when he walks to me. “Good morning.” He muttered as he walked past me to his seat which is behind me.
“Mo-morning…?” And the problem is I was suttering when I replied, ‘Now I’ve done it…. he officially think I am one of his fangirls.’ I sighed earning a few snickers from Tifa and Yuffie which I give them an odd look.
“Morning, Hime-chi.” Prompto greeted.
I am not sure who is Hime-chi is. But seeing no one responds to him, it must be me, right? “Morning…?” I greeted back hesitantly.
During the duration of the lesson, I can’t concentrate at all. Part of it is because Noctis is sitting behind me. The other part is I am frantically thinking what should I do, what is my relationship with him and the other characters. Just because some of them are my friends, that doesn’t mean all of the characters must be my friends. And I have to be careful how to act around them, so they didn’t notice my awkwardness.
The bell rings signaling lunch break. Finally, me and the group which included almost all of the alvalanche members plus some other go to school cafeteria. Minus Cid and Barret cause they’re too old to go to school anyway which I found out later the two of them are school staffs. Barret as P.E teacher and Cid as engineer. And of course, let’s not forget Zack and Aerith. We go to cafeteria to eat lunch, while the others eat and talking each other, I am thinking about a lot of thing and that mysterious golden watch.
“[Name].” A voice snapped me out of my own world and I found all of them were staring at me.
“Huh?” I blinked owlishly.
“Are you okay?” Aerith asked worriedly.
“Did they bully you?” Prompto frowned.
“Eh? Bully? Who?” I tilted my head not understanding who were they talking about. ‘…For the first time in my life I was bullied…’
“WHAT!? Those girls are bullying my little sister?! How dare they!” Zack raged.
“W-Wait a minute. I am fine. No one is bullying me.” I said quickly calming them down.
“I heard something about bullying [Name]. Who is daring enough to do that?” Another new voice chimed in.
“Ah.” I blinked at the newcomers, twins exactly.
“Stella, Luna. Where were you guys?” Yuffie asked.
“Sorry, the teacher needed us just now.” Stella apologized.
“So, I heard someone is bullying [Name]? Which idiot?” Luna smiled scarily.
“No one was bullying me.” I shook my head quickly. ‘Scary…. Does Lunafreya is this kind of character?’ I sweatdropped.
“If we are talking about bullying, then I am sure it’s no other than her and her little group.” Tifa rolled her eyes.
‘I wonder who and why would people bully me? I don’t think I’ve ever made someone mad enough to be bullied by them.’ I scanned the cafeteria and spot a group of girls glaring at me, ‘Ah. So, they are the bully group.’ Then a mop of blond caught my attention, I narrow my eyes to get better sight, ‘…Who is she? I have never meet her before, but strangely her name popped out in my mind. Tachibana Kirika-san, Noct’s fangirl…. Ah, no wonder.’ I looked at her object of affection.
“Ignore them” Noct said.
“Umm...okay.” I answered.
After that staring contest, all is well. No war break between us. The last bell finally rings, signaling the end of school. And so, as per usual ritual, apparently we always go home together. “See you tomorrow.” I waved to them when I arrived at my house.
“See you.” They waved back. I open the door only to find it is hollow of life. I found a note one dinner table ‘Business trip one week, there’s a leftover for dinner. We’ll get your cousin to stay at the house tomorrow.’ I sighed. It’s still the same,’Oh well, I’m used to it.... wonder who is my cousin. This is the first time I heard about having a cousin staying over.’
Tired and still in term of accepting what has happened today. I am feeling really sleepy, but I didn’t dare to sleep. What if this is just a dream and I’ll wake up in the same position on my desk, as selfish as it may sound I still don’t want this to end yet. So many thoughts race in my head, absetmindedly I take out the golden watch and finally fallen asleep holding that.
I wake up with a start and glancing at my room, then realize something, FF charas. ‘Is it a dream?’ I sighed and I felt something in my hand. The golden watch, it’s still here. That means ‘It’s not a dream.’ I grinned widely, they are real. Thus, I quickly begin my routine of the day.
Arriving to the class, I greet them. Them as in the group. “Morning.” I greeted.
“Morning.” They replied. I sit at my seat and put my bag on drawer, but then a sharp pain creeps through my hand, instictively I take out my hand and trail of blood is dripping from my hand. My eyes flicker at the sound of giggles, there Tachibana Karin stand proudly at what she have done, she even raises her chin up to which I reply with raised eyebrow.
‘Truly, this is the first time I am being bullied for real.’
Seeing my bloodied right hand and still bleeding. Cloud quickly take my hand and examines it. “You okay?” He asked.
“As okay as someone will be with bleeding hand.” I remarked. Zack is definitely pissed off by the look of his face and stalks toward them.
“Why you little-“
“Zack. There’s no need to get angry.” I called to him.
Ignoring my call, he still stalks toward them, that is until Vincent holds him, “Ignore them. We should take her to infirmary.” He said.
“No no no. we can’t let this kind of things go.” Stella stepped in.
“Indeed. We’ll need to teach her a lesson.” Luna easily agreed with the older twin.
“Stella, Luna. Not you two too.” I sweatdropped.
“Let’s just take [Name] to infirmary first.” Tifa said. With that, the group accompanies me to the infirmary.
“The cut isn’t deep, it will heal in few days.” Nurse Quistis said after she finished bandaging me.
“Thank you.” I thanked her.
“It’s my job, now off you go to class.” She ushered.
“Yes ma’am.” I give her mock salute as I get out of the room.
Entering the class, I was bombarded with questions. Quistis kicked all of the out for being so noisy and too much. “I am fine.” I said for the umpteenth time.
Then Tachibana-san comes to me and asks with her sickly sweet voice, “How was your hand? Is it hurt?”
“Well, why don’t we try it to your hand. And then you’ll know whether it’s hurt or not.” I smiled eraning a few snickers from my friends as they heard my reply.
Tachibana-san’s face is red with anger and opens her mouth to say something. But then, the door opened revealing Noctis and Prompto. she quickly puts her sweet façade again to which I know that isn’t fooling anyone with decent IQ. “Good morning.” She greeted him which was ignored and laughter rose from our throats.
“If you didn’t do something like bullying his friends, you might have a chance.” I told her.
“You!” She gritted her teeth.
‘Aaah… She really didn’t get it.’ I sighed mentally. “Good morning you two. How unusuall for you to almost late.” I greeted.
“Good morning, Hime-chi. You see, we are almost late because we met an old woman on the street. She… Hime-chi, what happened to your hand?” Prompto frowned when he saw bandage on my left hand.
“Your hand...”
“Oh, this..” I said as I lift my hand. “Apparently, someone with a bad hobby finds it interesting to get me scream in pain. Unfortunately, they didn’t get what they want.” I smiled. Noct opens his mouth to ask something when the bell rang, signalling the start of class. All of us goes back to our seat. Well, in my case after recieving a hateful glare from Tachibana-san.
‘More importantly I wonder… Why is she targeting me? I mean, Noct’s female friends are not only I. There are Luna and Stella too…. Does she know I like him…? Well, I do like him as character in games before. And meeting him right now does make my feeling stronger… but, I am not sure if I like him as man… Besides…’ A certain scene from the game flashes in my mind. It’s overlapping in a scene I’ve seen here. ‘I am such a fool… obviously they are together…’ A bitter smile graces my lips.
The lessons went well, save for the ocasion hateful glare... okay scratch that, hateful glare all along. Lucnh break bell rings..... “Okay class, that’s all for today... oh and there is winter ball on the 28th December. All of you MUST come, it’ll be the last event for you. Class dissmissed.” Then the teacher goes out of classroom.
I groan inwardly, ‘Great… a ballroom.’ Note the sacarsm. The students scatters, chatting about the ball, while the group (girls only) advance to me.
“Soooo.....” Yuffie begins the conversation. “Who is going to be your date?” she asked excitedly.
“I don’t want to go.” I groaned again.
“You shouldn’t idle too long [Name], he will be snatched away.” Aerith said gigglig slightly.
“He? Who?” I titled my head. ‘Do I like someone?’
“Of course it’s him.” Yuffie answered.
“Tsk tsk tsk. As if [Name] will like another boy except from him.” Stella raised her brow.
“That dense man is too dense.” Luna giggled.
“Who is he exactly?” I frowned. But to them, my expression right now is quite funny because they are giggling.
“Don’t play dumb [Name]. all of us already know who is he. He is the one who gifted you the golden watch on your birthday.” Tifa said.
 ‘So, that was a gift from someone. And that someone is my crush so to speak…’ I blinked. ‘Who is…’ Suddenly the answer appeared itself in my mind.
*Poof* my face explodes to a blush. ‘It’s him. That man who is a trouble to me just by being here.’ I covered my face looking away from the evil grins on their faces.
“That time he was so shy. It’s funny, right?” Yuffie exclaimed.
“Hey, you guys.” I was saved by Reno. “Who are going to be you girls’ date?” He asked excitedly.
“Not again…” I groaned. “Reno, you don’t have any delicacy at all.” I whined.
“What happened to her?” Reno blinked.
“Just girl trouble.” Stella giggled followed by the rest of the girl.
“I mean you guys have fixed date already. Is there any point to ask?” I pouted. “I’m sure Tifa is going with Cloud, Aerith and Zack, Yuffie with Vincent. Stella is with Prompto and Luna will be going with No-.” I said.
“My date is a secret.” Luna cut my sentence.
“Secret?” I blinked.
“Yep. You’ll know when the time comes.” She smiled mysteriously.
“So, what about you [Name]? Wanna be my date?” He winked.
I snort, “No, thank you.” I flat out rejected him. “If I go with you. Your group of angry girlfriends will be waiting for me. Nuh-uh. I still want to be perfectly healthy, thank you.” All of them excluding Reno who is now sulking are laughing at his misfortune. “I am probably going alone. There’s no rule I can’t go alone.” I smiled. “…What’s wrong?” I blinked when I found them stared at me oddly.
“[Name]… You are quite dense…” Tifa sweatdropped.
“Huh?” I titled my head.
“[Name] you know, you are quite popular. If you say you are searching for a date. Everyone will probably line up.” Aerith giggled.
“…You are teasing me, aren’t you? I have a plain face you know. The one that is neither pretty, beautiful or cute. Besides, if I mean if I am quite popular, how come no one talk to me or better yet flirt to me?” I put an unamused face.
‘That’s because a certain someone made sure no one will not talk to you more than necessary. How can they have a gut to flirt with you with him hanging around you like a guard dog.’ All of them sweatdropped.
“Enough about me. What about the prince?” I turned my question to the prince that walked past me back to his seat.
“About what?” He sat back down.
“The winter ball. Who are you escorting?” I asked.
He snorts. “I don’t want to go.” He said.
“Me too. But we are forced to go.” I chuckled.
“I am waiting for someone.” He answered shortly. His answer makes the boys laugh. I raise my eyebrow at their odd reaction.
“You should hurry and ask her out, or else she’ll out of your reach.” Zack chuckled.
“Yep. After all the effort you put into.” Cloud nodded.
Zack’s word make my chest stings a bit. ‘What is this feeling?’ I blink the I shake my head to ignore it and chat with the rest of them.
Zack’s word is still ringing in my head. I am indeed curious as who is he going to ask, but I am more curious about the feeling in my heart just now. ’They are just characters from game, right? So, why did I have this feeling? Besides, I am sure he is going to ask Luna. No need to think that hard. They obviously are going to reveal it at the winter ball.’ I finally asleep while thinking about this.
Again, I wake up from my peaceful slumber before the alarm rings. I rub my eyes to get rid the alimighty power of sleepiness. The calendar on my wall made me realize this is Saturday. ‘Oh, it’s finally this day.’
As usual, I did my everyday routine, and then off to school. My peaceful day was once again ruined by Tachibana-san and the rabid fangirls follower.
“You! You dare to embarass me the other day, in front of my Noctis no less.” She screehed.
“My...Noctis...? Wow, I am not sure how to reply to that statement... Besides, weren’t you the one asked me about my hand, I just answered that it would be better for you to experience it first hand.” I answered effortlessly.
“You bitch!” She swung her hand to slap me. I am ready to dodge and prepare some wise words. But, her hand was caught midair by a more masculine hand.
I turn my head to get a better look of my savior. ‘Squall.’ I blinked at the unexpected character. ‘Rinoa shouldn’t be too far from Squall.’ I giggled inwardly at my own thought.
“You better stop this or you’ll get more than just slapping.” He growled. Tachibana-san turns pale. She and her follower quickly retreat back.
Then suddenly a girl pops out from his side. “Are you okay, [Name]?” Said girl is no other than Rinoa. ‘As I thought, Rinoa is not far.’ I chuckled at my own thought.
“I am fine.” I answered. “But, why are you two here?” I asked, I am not surprised with the characters popping out as my friends anymore. Last time, I found out Ignis is our Chemistry teacher and Gladioulus as our school security guard.
“Listen well! this isn’t over! I’ll make your life a living hell!” Tachibana-san sreeched which we of course ignored. The she stomps out here with her rabid fangirls follower.
“Just like always, you are a trouble magnet.” Squall Leonhart, which like to be called Leon sighed.
“You haven’t answered my question... Squeon.” I added my personal nickname just to annoy him.
“Your parents were worried, so they asked me to take care of you.” He said ignoring my nickname.
“I am fine, Squeon.” I said again.
Squall snorts, he lifts my bandaged hand, “And you said this was okay.”
“[Name], you are injured. What happened?” Worrywart Rinoa asked.
“I am okay. It’s just a small wound, Quistis said it will heal in 2 or 3 days.” I said calming Rinoa down.
Then, we heard some footsteps running toward us. The group are rushing to us. “Squall! Rinoa!” They exclaimed happily when they saw them.
“It’s Leon.” He grunted.
“Nooo, it’s Squeon.” I laughed. Squall only glares at me using his infamous glare.
“Long time no see.” Rinoa smiled.
“[Name], are you alright? I heard from some people Tachibana was bullying you, what did she do to you?” The now panicking Tifa asked.
“I am okay. she was just going to slap me, but Squeon stopped her.” I answered.
“WHAT?! She was going to slap you?! That damn bitch! How dare she!” Zack cursed.
“Calm down. I am not strupid just standing there waiting her slaps me.” I snorted. ‘Besides, which idiot will stand still when they are going to be hit.’
“By the way, if Squall and Rinoa are here. Does that mean they are going to be your care taker again?” Cloud asked.
“Yes, they are.” I said grinning.
“Oooooh, it’s rare that we can gather here together. So, how about we go to Chocobo Land  tomorrow?” Yuffie exclaimed excitedly.
“Chocobo Land.... Well, it’s been a while, the last time we go together was on [Name]’s birthday.” Aerith said. With that said, all of us decide to go to Chocobo Land tomorrow. Unbeknwon to me, I am playing right to their trap.~”~
“Eeeeehhhh~ Why can’t you go with us?” I asked, dismayed at the fact we couldn’t spend time together.
“Rinoa isn’t feeling well.” Was Squall short answer.
But I can’t shake the feeling that something is off. “She was fine yesterday.” I mumbled.
“Yesterday and today are different.” But all I did was stare, stare and stare. He sighs, “Just go already, you don’t want to be late, right?” He ushered me to go.
“Yes~” I sulked.
Arriving at the Chocobo Land. Only Noctis is at the rendezvous point. “Hey, Noct, where is the others?” I asked.
“They still haven’t arrived.” He answered.
‘Weird. They are usually on time. Maybe Yuffie will be a little late.’ I blinked at the unusual happening. And suddenly our phones ring at the same time signalling there are messages in our group chat.
Tifa
“Sorry, my parents are out of town suddenly. Need to housesit.”
Yuffie
Some brats in neighborhood are hunting my treasure. Need to safeguard it.
Zack
Am grounded. T.T
Luna
“Sis and I have trouble escaping from arranged marriage.
Stella
“Have fun. We will arrive there late.”
Aerith
“The shop is crowded. I can’t go out yet.”
Squall
“Rinoa is sick. Need to take care of her.”
Rinoa
Sorry guys.
Cloud
“Fixing my bike.”
Vincent
“…Sleepy…”
Prompto
“Helping acquaintance in photoshoot.”
‘What kind of hellish timing is this?’ I sweatdropped. ‘…No matter how I think, they are definitely setting us up.’ I sighed softly.
The two of us look at each other and sigh. “We were set up.” He said. “So, what should we do? Should we go home?” He asked again.
“Hmmm… We’re already here anyway. So, let’s just play. Just the two of us.” I grinned. A small smile is tugging on his lip hearing my sentece. But, unbeknown to us, we were followed by eight enthusiastic stalkers plus two reluctant stalkers and cameras.
Everywhere and anywhere as far as I can see, all I can see is Chocobo. The excitement is building up. “Chocobo♪~ Chocobo♪~.” I hummed out with sparkling eyes.
“Your love for Chocobo is something else.” Noct sweatdropped.
“What can I say, I just love Chocobo.” I giggled. “Then, our first ride will be that.” I pointed to the Chocobo Jet that was quite far from our meeting point.
“Figures you will ride that first.” Noctis chuckled.
“Let’s go!” I giggled excitedly. ‘Just for today. Let me spend a quality time with him. Yes…Just for today.’ The Chocobo Jet is really exciting. “I want to ride it again.” I said enthusiastically.
“Let’s ride the other attraction first. We’ll ride the roller coaster again later.” He sighed helplessly.
“It’s a promise, okay. I won’t go home if I don’t get to ride it again.” I stuck my pinky to him.
“Yes, yes. It’s a promise.” He hooked his pinky to mine. And then seamlessly warps his hand around mine and tugs me along.
I blink at the action. ‘Alert, alert. The parameter is rising.’ A slight blush adorns my cheeks. I quickly put a hand on my cheek to cool it down.
“What’s wrong?” He asked when he saw my weird action.
“Nothing!” I squeaked in high pitched voice.
He blinks, “You are so weird.” He laughed.
“I don’t want to hear that from you.” I stuck my togue out to him.
The next ride is Chocobo Cup. “Spin faster!” I laughed cheerily as I spun the cup faster.
“You’ll get dizzy later.” Noct smiled.
‘Hm…?’ from the corner of my eyes, I think I caught a glimpse of a familiar chocobo head. ‘Was I mistaken?’
“What’s wrong?” Ncoct asked when he realized I stopped spinning.
“Ah, nothing, I thought I saw Cloud.” I shook my head. “It must be my imagination. I mean this is Chocobo Land.” I laughed. All of the visitors are wearing Chocobo headband which we get as a free gift in the entrance.
“What do you want to do next?” He asked.
“Hm…Oh!” My eyes are drawn to the shooting range not far from us. More accurately, drawn to the prizes in that shooting range. “That! Let’s compete!” I turned to Noctis.
“Yes?”
“Let’s see who will get the grand prize first!” I exclaimed.
“Yo, ojou-chan, an-chan. The point for the grand prize is 150. The rule is easy. Your gun has 3 bullets. Knock down the plate with the point written on it. collect 150 points and you have the grand prize. Easy, right?” Baku explained.
“Yep!” I nodded.
“One game is 150 gil.” He smiled.
“Give us two guns.” Noct said as he handed him the money.
“Haiyo!” Baku handed us the bullet.
“The game is on!” I grinned.
~One Round Later~
“Not fair….” I sulked. In the end, Noctis wins with overwhelming victory. I don’t understand how he managed to get 200 points, while I couldn’t even get the 10 points plate down.
“Bwahahahaha! Ojou-chan, you are the best! Your skill is one in one hundred!” Baku laughed merrily.
“Sh-shut up!” I cried out.
“An-chan, your skill is amazing. Usually, the guests will spend more than 3 games to get a hang of this game.” He smirked.
“This is just a fluke. My friend happens to be good at this kind of game. I was only following his advice.” Noct answered.
“Heh. I want to meet this friend of yours.” Baku smirked.
“Next time, I guess.” Noct shrugged his shoulder.
“Bahahaha! I can’t wait!” Baku laughed harder.
While those two are chatting. I am already at my own land of misery. “I am sorry Chocobo. I can’t get you. I am sorry I am such a failure.” I murmured.
“So, what happen to Ojou-chan?” Baku sweatdropped.
“She just happened to love Chocobo a bit too much. Too much that I am jealous.”
“Bwahahaha! You win the game, but lost the war. I really pity you, An-chan” Baku patted his shoulders.
“Haahh…” He sighed. “[Name]. Here, this is yours.” Something is shoved to my face. It’s the grand prize of the shooting range, Golden Chocobo.
“For me?” I blinked.
“Of course.” He rolled his eyes. “If I don’t give it to you. You’ll keep staring at me as if you are having a grudge on me.” He smirked.
“I-I will not.” I flushed.
“Ojou-chan!” Baku called.
“Yes?”
“Here. A consolation prize.” Baku gave me two droppy chocobo hat. “Thanks to Ojou-chan, I have a great laugh today.” Baku grinned.
“Thank you!” I quickly put it on my head, while keeping the headband I got on my small backpack I brought. “Noct, you wear one too.” I gave the hat to him. The said man obediently bends down his body so I can put it on him. “We match!” I laughed happily, completely missing his softened look to me.
“Bahahaha! I pray for your success, an-chan.” Baku laughed.
“Thanks.” Noct replied. While I completely don’t understand what they were talking about. “Let’s go. We still have many attractions to ride.” He tugged my hand along.
“Yes!” ‘I think whether this is a dream or reality, this will be the happiest day of my live.’
Our next destination is, “Chocobo House!!!” I shrieked at the sight. I rush to the house, wanting to see it up close and personal.
“Hey! Don’t run!” I heard Noct’s warning.
“Don’t worry! I am not a child. I won’t fall down. Hurry up! Hurry up!” I urged him.
“We need to buy tickets first.” He sighed.
“Ah.” I blinked, completely forgotten that. Noct rolls his eyes as he pays for the tickets.
“Thank you for the purchase. Please enjoy the house.” The staff smiled.
Chocobo House, truly befitting the name. The house is basically Chocobo den. Look right, there will be a lot of Chocobo. Look left, there will be a lot of Chocobo. Look up, there will be a lot of Chocobo lantern. Look down, the tile is Chocobo pattern. And in the center if the house, there is the fat Chocobo.
“….Can I take that home?” I muttered out loud.
“Will it fit in your room?” Noct sweatdropped.
“I have an unused room. It will fit there. I can just move my Chocobo shrine there.” My eyes sparkled.
“Oi oi oi. Will they even let you buy it. Rather, even if they are willing to sell. Does your pocket money enough?” Noct sighed.
“Hmmm…. I should really get a part time job.” I muttered as I trying to calculate how much the Fat Chocobo will cost.
“Wait! Wait! They are selling the miniature version of Fat Chocobo. Let’s take a look.” Noct dragged me to the merchandise counter. In the end, I buy the Fat Chocobo plushie. More precisely, it was bought for me.
“I could buy it myself. You’ve paid for the rides and tickets. I can at least buy the merchandise myself.” I pouted and frowned as I hugged the plushie.
“It’s fine. I just want to. My father told me I need to spoil you to win your heart. He even willingly and happily to let me spend money to make you his daughter in law.” He muttered.
“Hm? What did you say?” I couldn’t hear the second part of his sentences.
“Nothing. Let’s ride that next.” He pointed to the Chocobo-go-round.
“Okay!” ~”~
“I am hungry~” I whined as I sat on the park bench.
“It’s already 1.00 p.m.” Noctis said as he looked at his watch. “The food court is over there.” Noctis said.
“Yosh! After lunch, we are going to continue.” I beamed, while my companion just shook his head at my antics. “Hey, don’t tell me you don’t enjoy it. Because we know it’s a lie.” I pointed my finger to him.
“I never said I didn’t.” He chuckled.
“Then all is well.” I grinned.
We are sitting in the food court, waiting for our order. The topic of our conversation is the hellish timing our friends have. “They are definitely…” I trailed off.
“…Doing this in purpose…” He finished.
“There’s no way they have this kind of convenient timing of not going. Well, in Zack’s case… he might be really grounded.” I giggled as we glanced secretly to the seats behind us.
“He-hey! Don’t be too noisy, they’ll find out.” A familiar voice of Tifa was heard.
“But, I can’t hear what are they talking about.” Yuffie whined.
“What a sloppy tailing.” I sniggered.
“They really… have too much free time.” Noct sighed.
“They seem don’t know that we’ve know they tailed us from the start.” I laughed merrily, really enjoying this charade. From the corner of my eyes, I can see now they are fighting for food, Zack and Cloud plus Yuffie. “Let’s caught them red handed later.” I laughed.
“Here are your orders.” A kind waitress set down our food.
“Thank you.” We thanked her.
“Please enjoy!” She smiled cheerily.
“Thanks for the food.” ~”~
“Noct. Let’s go over there.” I pointed to an ice-cream stall.
“Didn’t you just eat lunch?” He blinked.
“If it’s for ice cream, I am sure my stomach will make more room.” I answered.
“….What flavor?” He could only helplessly ask.
“Sea-salt ice cream!” I said excitedly.
“Wait here.” He told me and he is off to the stall.
“Ah, I want ice cream too.” I heard Yuffie whined.
“If we go now. We’ll be caught.” Stella reminded.
“But… ice cream…” I could already imagine her face looked like a kicked puppy.
“We need to endure.” Luna said sternly.
“Here.” Noct came back with an ice cream.
“Where is yours?” I blinked as I took the ice cream.
“I am good.” He said.
“Is that so?” I licked the ice. “Mmmnn… It’s delicious.” My eyes sparkled. “Here. Have a taste. It’s delicious. Delicious food should be shared to double the deliciousness.” I grinned.
“…Then, I’ll be happy to oblige.” He smiled softly as eat the ice from my hand.
“How is it? Isn’t it delicious?” I asked animatedly.
“Yeah. It’s delicious.” A ghost smile on his lips.
“See! I told you, you should buy one for yourself.” I said smugly. I quickly devour the ice cream until I realize what have I done. *Poof* ‘He ate mine…. Indirect kiss… No no no, let’s not think about it.… Okay, breathe in… breathe out… It’s okay. It’s just indirect kiss. No biggie….NO! it’s not okay for my heart! Does he even realized what he has done! I know I was the one offered it to him, but…’
“Why is your face red? Is it heatstroke?” He frowned.
“No! I am fine! Completely fine. It’s only a little bit too hot! It’s not a heatstroke!” The completely flustered me squeaked out. “Let’s go there!” I randomly pointed a ride and hurried there, missing the knowing smirk on his face.
The clock has shown 5.30 p.m. the only remaining ride is, “Hey, Noct. Let’s ride Chocobo Wheel.” I dragged him to the line. The said man allows me to drag him, he’s suprisingly obidient.
The Ferris Wheel stops when we are at the top. “When are we going to catch them red handed?” He smirked.
“You’ll see.” I grinned mischievously. “As expected from the highest point. I can see all of them park from here. It’s beautiful.” I was awed by the breathtaking view.
“Indeed…” What I didn’t know is, he wasn’t talking about the view.
The ride has ended. We are back on the land. “Ah! I have to call Squeon, first. I am worried about Rinoa.” I said out loud, letting our stalkers hear. “If he has something he needs, I can swing to the nearest drug store.” I fished out my phone from my bag. Can practically hear the nervous choked sounds from our stalkers. I push the speed dial button number 1. A familiar ringtone rings. My smile widens when I heard that.
“Hello!” I waved to them. We catch our stalkers red handed. “I thought you all have some kind of troubles.” I raised my brow.
“Ahahahha… We were just...uh…worried about you two. Yes, we were worried.” Zack laughed nervously, which then elbowed by Aerith for stuttering.
“So, did you guys get nice pictures? Because I am expecting it.” I snickered.
“I thought you were grounded, Zack.” Noct smirked.
“Hey, everyone! The photos are done. What are- “Yuffie stopped in mid sentence when she saw us. “Ahahahaha. Hello, [Name].” Yuffie greeted me.
“Geh! Noct!” Prompto gasped.
“Yuffie~, Prompto ~ What about those pictures in your hands?” I asked with a smile etched on my face.
“O-oh, th-this is..” She trailed off, senaking a glance on me, I still waiting her answer with a smile. “Eheheheh.... Okay, I give up. Here, all yours.” She gave us the photos they took. To put it simply, those are our candid photos. There are also the others but mostly about me and Noctis.
“Awww, this one is soo cute.” Tifa cooed. The pictures she chooses is the one when Noct was eating my ice cream. The angle is good. It’s just quite embarrassing.
“Heheh. Mine is this.” Luna chose the time when I put Chocobo hat on Noct.
“Oh. I like this one.” Stella picked our competition in shooting range.
“This one is good.” Aerith liked the one where I hug the huge Fat Chocobo in Chocobo House.
“Oookay. Let’s save this for later. For the last ride, we’ll go on Chocobo Jet. I will not allow any objection.” I exclaimed happily. For the last ride. We are fortunate the ride is enough for all of us.
“It was fun! It’s been a while I play this much.” I stretched.
“We should come here together again.” Rinoa smiled.
“Agreed! But no more stalking.” I laughed.
Time sure flies fast. It’s already one week before Christmas, we the girls are shopping for Christmas gift. ‘Sooo, what should I buy? Let’s just buy what they can use everyday.’ The other girls already busy choosing their own gifts. I am just strolling in the accesorries shop. After all of us finished, we head back to home. ~”~
It’s finally Christmas. The girls agreed to gather at Tifa’s house and give a make-over to each other, while I opted to not involved which is not an option. I am also dragged in to the whole fiasco. Exactly 7 p.m. We heard the knock, signaling the boy group has come.
“Merry Christmas.” Zack said excitedly.
“Merry Christmas.” We greeted. After we greeted each other, the party starts. I give them their respective gifts. Earrings for Tifa, bracelet for Yuffie, a necklace for Stella and Luna, a phone case for Vincent, a dress for Aerith, a google for Cloud, another dress for Rinoa and a for Zack, my self proclaimed brother, I gave him a pair of shoes. For my dearest cousin, it’s a leather jacket.
I am now down to the last person, but the said person isn’t in the room. The gift is still clutched in my hand. I see Tifa tilts her head to the yard, I nod and flash a grateful smile.
I found him gazing stars. “Not going to enter?” I asked.
Noctis glances at me and then back to the stars. “Too noisy.” Was his short answer. I laugh lightly at his short, but clear answer.
There is a comfortable silence between us, until I remember the reason I searched him. “Here.” I gave him the small blue box.
“For me?” I nodded at his question. Then he also pulls out something small from his pocket and gives it to me. I look at the gift curiously. I try to guess what’s in this little black box. Seeing the blatant curiosity on my face, Noctis chuckles. “Open it.” He said. With that said, I open the box excitedly. There, in the black box there is a ring necklace. My name is carved on the ring. My eyes widened and let out a small laugh. Noctis only stares at me with raised eyebrow.
“Open my gift.” I said still laughing. With a strange look he opens the box. His eyes also widen, there in the blue box I gave him, there’s also a same ring necklace. the only difference is the carved names. Then a small laugh also escapes from his lips.
“Will you allow me to escort you in the winter ball?” He asked.
This question caught me off guard. I never thought he will ask me let alone think about it. I look left, right and then behind me to see if someone is there. “…Are you practicing so you can ask Luna?” I blinked.
“Why are you bringing up Luna?” He frowned.
“Eh? Why? Because isn’t that so?” I was taken back.
“It’s not.” He sighed exasperated.
“Then… If you are fine with me. I’ll be happy to take on your offer.” I smiled. ~”~
The day before the ball. The girls agree to meet up again in Tifa’s house right after school. They are going to match the dress they’ve bought with their accessories. “Hm? [Name], where’s your dress?” Luna asked.
“Ah, I don’t have one I was sure I am going alone, so I didn’t buy dress. I am going to wear school uniform. The rule didn’t specifically say the dress code is an evening dress.” I smiled sheepishly.
“School…” (Stella)
“Uni…” (Aerith)
“…form” (Tifa)
“You said?!” (Luna)
“Huh? Isn’t Noctis escorting you?” Yuffie blinked.
“He did two days ago. It’s just, I don’t have time to pick up dress. So, I am going to wear school uniform.” I nodded.
“Change of plan.” Stella said seriously.
“Yes. We have a change of plan.” Luna agreed.
“Huh?” I blinked.
“We are going to shop for your dress right now.” Aerith smiled.
“Eh? Right now. We don’t have that much time…anymore.” I finished timidly, seeing their scary smiles.
“Sorry [Name}. Even I can’t help you.” Yuffie said. ~”~
At last, the most dreaded day that I wish never come is finally here. 28th December, that means the winter ball. ‘Why it has to be a ballroom, can we just change to more casual party?’ I groaned.
“[Name], you shouldn’t put that kind of face. You are the prince’s date, are you not?” Zack teased.
“The said prince has the same opinion as me.” I said unamused. The girls and the boys wear a matching color, including Noct and I. Apparently, Luna called Noct and asked, no demanded him to wear a cobalt blue suit, so he can match with my dress.
The hall is decorated just like a real ballroom. There are also snacks and drinks there. Once we enter the hall, Reno instantly flies to the other side of the hall sweet talking to a group of girls. The others asked their dates to dance with them. Being a gentleman he is, our favourite prince also asks me to dance. “I can’t dance.” I smiled wryly.
“Don’t worry. Just follow my lead. Waltz is an easy dance.” He said taking my hand. We dance peacefully until someone with the name of Tachibana Kirika ruins it.
“Noctis dear~” She called with such coquettish voice that it actually made me had a goosebumps. “I am sure I can be a better partner than this plain looking girl.” Tachibana-san winked at him.
“Sorry if I am plain looking. At least, you should learn how to wear a proper make up. The color doesn’t suit you.” I rolled my eyes.
“No, thank you.” He refused politely.
But that sets Tachibana-san in rage. “Exactly what did you see in this girl?” She screeched and pointed her finger to me. “I am prettier and a ton of guys asked me to be their date.” She yelled.
Noctis narrows his eyes. “Then, you can have them to accompany you. Listen, I am tired of your antics. Don’t you dare badmouth her! The next time you do so, I won’t forgive you!” Noctis snapped. Then, Noct storms out from the hall, leaving the said girl there standing dumbfounded and biting her fingernail.
‘Wow, this is the first time I see him angry.’ I too, quietly leaving the hall searching for my partner.
“So, you are here.” I said after I found him on the rooftop. He only stands there unmoving. “Still angry?” I asked.
“Not anymore.” He answered.
“I doubt she will stalk you after your outburst just now.” I laughed.
“She better be.” He let out a snort.
“Hey, Noct.”
“Hm?”
“What was the meaning of the word carved in the golden watch?” I asked as I took out the watch from my dress’ small pocket.
“Are you curious about that?” He asked.
“Very.” Was my answer.
“That is-” He walked closer to me without breaking the eye contact. He stands right in front of me, making me wait with bated breath. He bends down so his mouth right beside my ear, and whispers softly. “Eternal bond.” After saying that, he stood straight. A small smile on his lip, satisfied with my now blushing face.
“You-! Can just say it normally.” I glared at him. The futile glare only makes him smiles. He pulls me toward him. “Wha-” I blinked rapidly as he pressed his lips to mine.
‘Unable to process. [Name].exe crashed.’
I suddenly wake up from my nap and look at my surrounding. I am in my room, the same room before all of that happen, my workbook is still on my desk untouched. “I see, that was a dream after all.” I said disappointed. I blush again remembering the last part of the dream. “What an outrageous dream I had.” I sweatdropped. I put my finger on my lips as if I can still feel the warmth.
“[Name], you idiot. That was just a dream.” I scolded myself. “Rather than thinking about it, I should take a bath.” I mumbled walking to the bathroom. Unbeknown to me there are a ring necklace with my name and a golden watch with its lid opened on my desk.
“Our bond is eternal”
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irelanddesires · 3 years
Text
Ny Början- Chapter 1
Pairing:  André Burakovsky x reader
Warnings: Fluff, eventual smut, hockey violence, domestic violence (in the beginning), idk probs more.
Summary:  With the help of a group of unsuspecting heroes you are saved from a toxic relationship. One of your saviors goes above and beyond anything you could ask for. A friendship is forged and after awhile feelings happen. Could ths be your happy ending? 
A/N: Hi I’m trash and this idea has rolled around in my head for w e e k s. I’ve played hockey for a really long time and the Avs are my team... Burky happens to be my hockey crush so I figured I would share this. IDK what it is but this challenged me a lot and I can’t write a guys perspective to save my life ffs. Dialogue is hard my doods. Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think! 
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Going to the club was the last thing you wanted to do. Between working two jobs and trying to stay on top of your classes it didn’t leave much free time and you didn’t want to spend that sparse time dealing with drunk people and loud music. Your boyfriend, Matthew, had insisted that this was exactly what you needed after the week you had. At this point you both had been there long enough to see friends call it a night and you were pretty sure that Matthew was one drink away from making a fool out of himself. 
“Matt, can we please go?” you asked, hoping that he would finally agree. 
“Loosen up! We never get to spend time together. Let’s enjoy this!” he practically yelled. 
“We’ve been here long enough. It’s late and I have an early shift tomorrow.” you urged. At this point you wanted to go home, get out of this dress and crawl into bed. Nothing at this bar held your attention. Matt’s had grabbed your arm, his face inches from yours.
“I said no. We’re not going anywhere. I’m not finished here.” he ground out. 
The look on his face left little room for argument and was quite scary. Matt was usually a nice guy, the perfect boyfriend, but after drinking he could become a totally different person. Matt had never hit you but the emotional toll it took on you could be just as painful as a physical blow. After the week you’ve had of working 12-14 hour days just to come home and clean before passing out just to do it all over again made you throw all caution to the wind. You wanted to go home for fucks sake, not be here. 
You snached your arm from his grip, looking him in the eyes, “I’m tired, I’m going home. You can stay if you want but I’m not.” 
Before he could say anything you spun on your heels and marched out the side door that led to a less busy street. You hoped this would give you some peace and quiet as you ordered your Uber. Just as you tapped the app to get an Uber the door behind you swung open. Matt stumbled through the doorway and onto the sidewalk with you. 
“You can’t leave me,” he said. 
“Matt, I’m going home to sleep. I don’t care what you do.” 
“I said no!” he roared. Before you could comprehend what was happening your head snapped back and you were pushed against the outside wall of the bar. The brick dug into your skin as you tried to struggle against the hands holding you there. 
“Why don’t you ever listen to me you bitch.” he said as his fingers dug into your throat, “If I tell you to do something you fucking do it!” 
Panic seized your chest as his hands circled around your throat. The throbbing in your head forgotten about as your fight or flight instincts kicked in. You tried to kick him as hard as you could but it seemed like he wasn’t phased at all by it. Your hands grabbed onto his, your fingernails digging into his skin trying to get any distance between his hands and your throat. Just as spots began to dance around your vision the same door you both had exited from swung open and a group of people spilled out. 
Before you could try and scream for help one of them turned around and spotted you. His face went from relaxed and playful to murderous in seconds. You didn’t have time to gather your thoughts before he was charging both of you, shoving Matt off of you. You fell to the ground in a pile, your muscles felt like jello but your brain screamed at you to run. Looking up at the situation happening in front of you all you could see was the back of the stranger that had come to your rescue. His friends had caught on quick and made it over to stand around you too, like shields between you and Matt,  as you gathered yourself. 
“Is there a problem?” One of them said, the voice sounded like it came from the one that had charged Matt but your brain couldn’t comprehend everything that was happening. 
Matt stumbled to his feet before looking at the mystery men. “Mind your business” he slurred. 
“I don’t think so. You want to get to her, you have to go through us.” a voice called out. 
For a moment it looked like Matt was considering it. His eyes scanned each guy before landing on you. 
“This isn’t over you fucking bitch!” he yelled before turning around and making his way back into the bar. 
The door didn’t have time to shut all the way before one of your saviors crouched down in front of you. His hazel eyes searched your face, “ Are you okay?” he asked 
As much as you wanted to tell him your entire body felt weighed down, you bit back your weakness,
 “I’m fine.” you said as you began to try and stand. It took a couple tries to get your feet under you. You tried to use what energy you had to stand, you were nearly there when your legs went to give out. Hands caught you around your waist and pulled you the rest of the way up. 
“You don’t look fine” the mystery man said and he held onto you, carrying the majority of your weight. “Look, let me get you somewhere safe and I can take you home”
You looked at him, searching his face for dishonesty. At this point you figured that someone, or a group of people, that came to your rescue surely couldn’t be bad people. You silently agreed for his help with a nod of your head. 
The rest of the time you spent with the group of them went by in a blur. They all talked amongst themselves in whispers, every now and then you caught words. At one point you caught the name “André” and you assumed this was the name of the guy holding you up. Before long a car pulled to the curb and your stranger opened the door for you before helping you inside. None of the other guys followed so you assumed they were getting their own Uber. 
The ride was silent for a few moments before his voice broke through, “I’m André by the way” 
“Y/N” 
“I didn’t know where you would want to go so I figured you could come to my place and then decide what you want to do,” he said. 
You looked at him and nodded, whispering a “thank you” as you settled into the seat. You shouldn’t feel comfortable about going home with a guy you just met outside a bar but for some reason you felt safe with him. He gave off a genuine arua of concern and wanting to help. Before you could think about it too much your world faded to black and you let your exhausted and battered body rest. 
_______________________________
Having a night off from hockey was rare. What was even more rare was being able to have a guys night with some of the team. Most of the time when games weren’t being played or practice were being held, everyone would go their own ways. Some would spend time with their significant other, some would spend time alone or some would visit family if the break was long enough. 
Tonight a few of us had decided to let loose and bar hop across Denver. Usually this time of year the weather was starting to get cooler which made bar hopping more of a chore. Tonight however, the weather was perfect which gave us plenty of reason to have some fun. 
The first bar we went to was picked by Miko. He said this was the best bar in Denver with the hottest chicks so more than a few in our group were eager to get there. 
The outside of the building was modern with sleek black walls and the walls that weren’t stone were see-through glass. Through the windows we could see people dancing with lights strobing through the air.
 We quickly made our way inside and were ushered to a VIP section, one of the many perks of playing professional sports was getting recognized when out since it usually led to getting a more private area. The captain of the team was with us so of course we were bound to be recognized. 
We all bounced around from group to group chatting and drinking. Some of the guys had found partners to dance with while the rest of us just hung out. Time passed and we all were eventually some level of intoxicated, some more than others. Nate brought up the idea of heading to the Pur, a rooftop bar with a chill atmosphere. A group of us thought that was a great plan. The constant bass and flashing lights got old as the night wore on. 
The five of us; Gabe, Nate, Miko, Gru and myself headed toward the back door. We hoped we could escape quietly and back doors were usually best for doing that. 
The heavy door swung shut behind us as we spilled into the cool Denver night. A noise caught my attention, turning my head to see who else was out here, I was met with a scene I wasn’t expecting. A man had a woman pinned to the side of the building. Her feet dangled off of the ground and her hands gripped his that were circling around her throat. Time seemed to stop and instinct took over as I rushed to them. Before I could comprehend what I was doing my fist was sailing through the air, connecting with the man's face before he fell to the ground. The girl slumped to the side of the building in a heap. Concern for her swam through my body but I knew this guy had to leave before I could help her. 
The man stumbled to his feet. By now the guys had joined me, putting ourselves between the pair. 
“Is there a problem?” Gave asked
“Mind your business” the man mumbled. 
Rage burned through my body and it took everything in me to not pummel this guy. 
“I don’t think so.” I called out. 
The man took a moment. His eyes scanned each one of us. He must have eventually decided he was outnumbered and didn’t want to take his chances. 
“This isn’t over you fucking bitch!” He yelled before stumbling through the door we had just come out of. Relief flooded me now that we didn’t have a fight on our hands. A whimper from behind me had me turning and dropping to my knees. 
“Are you okay?” I asked. My eyes scanned over her checking for major injuries. Her breathing hitched as she tried to push herself up to stand. Halfway up her legs seemed to give way. Before she could tumble to the ground I grabbed her, hauling her to her feet and holding as much of her weight as I could. 
Her hands tangled in my shirt holding on for dear life. There’s no way she would be able to make it home and I didn’t trust leaving her like this with a stranger. Looking around the group of guys, Gabe was the first to speak up. 
“What’s your plan? Get an Uber?” He asked. 
“Yeah, I think I will take her to my place. I have a spare room she can sleep in and she can figure out something in the morning” 
The guys nodded in agreement. No one wanted to leave her alone right now. Especially not with her angry boyfriend, or ex boyfriend I hope, on the loose. 
“I’ll get you guys an Uber,” Gru piped up. 
“Thanks” I muttered, turning my attention back to the girl clinging on to me. 
The rest of the wait was quiet. No one talked about going anywhere else for the night. I’m sure at this point everyone wanted to go home and decompress from what had happened. Before long the Uber pulled up and I shuffled us around to open the door. With some adjustments I was able to sit her down and close the door before nodding to the guys and making my way around the car to climb in beside her. 
The driver took off immediately, glancing in the rear view mirror between the two of us. We didn’t make it far before i turned to her, 
“I’m André by the way” 
Her sad eyes met mine and for a moment I didn’t think she would say anything until I heard a whisper. 
“Y/N” 
Her voice sounded awful and the emotion behind her eyes told me how exhausted she really was. 
“I didn’t know where you would want to go so I figured you could come to my place and then decide what you want to do,” I told her. 
She looked at me again before croaking out a “thank you”. The rest of the ride was quiet. Once we arrived at my place I figured out why it was quite. At some point during the drive Y/N must had fallen asleep, her head was leaning against the window and her body was curled right around herself. 
I climbed out of the car and went to her side. Carefully I opened the door, catching her head when it went to fall. Surprisingly she didn’t wake so I slid my arms under her lifting her out of the car and pulling her against my chest. 
Unlocking the door and navigating through my apartment while carrying another person was harder than I would have imagined. I made it to my guest room and laid her on the bed. Not wanting her to wake up uncomfortable I took her shoes off before covering her with blankets and shutting the door on my way out. 
I settled on the couch with a beer from the fridge before releasing the breath that seemed stuck in my chest. The last thing I thought about before drifting off was the broken girl sleeping in the other room.
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bbmyungho · 3 years
Text
Seventeen + an s/o with ADHD
a/n: sorry this isn’t an update on SNCTD; trust me, I’m just as excited as you guys to finish the story, but my mental health hasn’t been all that great lately if i’m being honest, and i’ve missed writing for svt so... two birds with one stone, y’know :) also, quick disclaimer: this specific reaction post will mainly center around my own experience with my ADHD/the symptoms that especially affect me. you may be able to relate to it, you may not, but i hope you enjoy it either way, i tried to include kind of a range of manifestations. if you don’t struggle with ADHD or ADD, i would definitely advise that you look into ways you can better understand people who do and maybe help them out, and if you do struggle with it, remember that you are valid and you matter so much no matter what your brain says or does <3 we all have days where we struggle to understand that, but i swear it’s true and i’m always here if you ever want to talk about it <3
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s. coups/seungcheol
always reminding you to take care of yourself and your mental health first
he rubs your head and/or shoulders when you’re having trouble with grounding yourself and staying focused (like he does with jeonghan’s hair i <<<<</////3333)
he’s very good at disguising when he’s gently reminding you about things or encouraging you to get work he knows you have due soon done with jokes or banter (so you don’t feel bad about forgetting or getting distracted)
you bet he’s going to be up in the forums trying to figure out ways other people help out their loved ones and see if there’s anything else he can do to improve how he shows that he’s there for you
jeonghan
very gentle and patient
he hates the sound of his alarm but he keeps one in his phone to remind you to take your medicine (if you take it) because he knows if you’re doing something else when yours goes off you’ll just swipe off and forget about it
every once in a while just out of nowhere he’ll make it a point to remind you how special you are to him and make sure you know that you are so much more than your disability and you’re doing so well with it look at you go
encourages breaks like his life depends on it he really likes to hold you during your breaks pls let him love you
joshua
always brings an extra pair of headphones or an extra mask for you if you tend to misplace or forget things
he keeps reminders and notes about important events or appointments in your schedule in his phone alongside all of his stuff so he can a) know what you’re up to every once in a while and b) make sure you get there on time and prepared with a good luck text from your wonderful boyfriend :)))
he doesn’t mind having to repeat himself if you’re zoned out and he always reminds you you don’t have to apologize when you ask him to; he understands you’re not just uninterested, and he wants to help you get out of the cycle of apologizing for something you can’t control
your hyperfixations become his hyperfixations: he might not be able to really invest in them like you do but he will watch whatever show you want or listen to whatever music
plus whatever he sees when he’s out that relates to it or reminds him of you, he’ll pick it up; v supportive in your hyperfixations!!
jun
jun is a godsend for really bad executive dysfunction days omg
i feel like if you’re ever struggling to get your thoughts in order or think of the right word to say, he knows exactly what you mean and he’ll help you out with it
also i feel like he’s pretty good at keeping up with stuff if you’re super forgetful or tend to misplace things???
like you’ll be looking for your headphone case or something in your bag and he’ll pull it out of his jacket pocket like “oh you asked me to hold them earlier sorry i didn’t give them back” 
probably better at keeping up with your stuff than is he is his own ffs
hoshi/soonyoung
idk if anyone else really does this but i tend to isolate myself especially when i feel like i’m being really overzealous or obnoxious
but soonyoung absolutely hates when you do that
he tries to make it as clear as humanly possible that you could never ever be a burden or an annoyance to him and he likes to sit with you whenever you don’t feel like talking to people
he’s a pretty loud and energetic guy himself so i feel like if you’re having a hard time controlling your hyperactivity he’ll just match your energy
if he catches you picking at your nails or playing with your fingers a lot (just generally fidgeting a lot), he’ll pull you up to dance with him and you’ll let some of that energy out together :)
wonwoo
i feel like wonwoo is super sensitive to your needs and experiences specifically
like he knows exactly how you need him to react when you’re on the verge of tears because you’re so frustrated with yourself for not being able to focus or when you get overstimulated
he’s a pretty chill guy anyways so i feel like overstimulation isn’t a big problem with wonwoo, at least when it’s just you two; when it does happen, he’s content to sit in silence with you as long as you need him to and just hold your hand or stare at your cute face until you feel like you can breathe again
if you’re in need of stimulation, he’ll read to you aloud or turn the sound of whatever game he’s playing up so you can hear what’s going on, too
woozi/jihoon
100% composes little songs for you to listen to for whatever mood you’re in or whatever amount of stimulation you need
i feel like he’s quite awkward dealing with big shutdowns or panic attacks if you get really frustrated or over/under stimulated but he tries his best to be there for you when you need him
much like soonyoung, if you’ll let him sit with you when you feel like no one wants to see you or you don’t want to bother anyone, he’ll jump at the chance
dk/seokmin
sweet boy is so patient and kind :(((
he doesn’t care how many times you trip over your words or have to restart a sentence, he’ll wait for you to finish and will listen intently
he looks at you like you hung the stars in the sky doesn’t matter what kind of dumb shit you’re doing or saying
no matter what your brain comes up with or how out of left field it may seem, he’s always got something to say right back that will match your energy babes 
mingyu
mingyu hums to you to help you fall asleep 100%
he can listen to you talk for forever so if your ADHD manifests itself in talkativeness, he’s just that much happier
he always asks if you’ve eaten and will cook for you if you say you’ve forgotten or just haven’t gotten around to it
he likes it when you play with his hands or when he feels your knee bouncing against his if you’re having trouble sitting still, he thinks it’s kinda cute and just a little reminder that you’re there 
the8/minghao
minghao is a man of many talents and interests so he’s always got you with something to do if you’re feeling burnt out on your other interests or just generally bored
will grab your hand and play with your fingers if he notices you picking at your skin/nails a lot or cracking your knuckles
or like if he’s wearing rings that day he’ll hand you one so you can play with it 
that way you’re still receiving some sort of stimulation but you’re not literally tearing skin off of your hand or about to break your wrists so win-win
seungkwan
he likes to play song association games with you sometimes, whether it be an attempt to help with your dysfunction or just to see how far out of line you guys can get
he always sends you a good morning text with a reminder to take your medicine (again, if you’re medicated) and wishing you a great day
if you get frustrated and sad with yourself then he’ll get sad as well and do everything in his power to cheer you up
he’s always encouraging you and making it a point to remind you that you’re valid and you’re doing your best even if it feels like you aren’t
vernon
mans doesn’t know where or what he is half the time tbh so i don’t think executive dysfunction would be too much of a problem for him
you two communicate without words all the time, you understand each other better than anyone else
he’s pretty go with the flow like he can be just as hyper and loud and energetic as you or he can just lay there with you cuddled up on his chest, it doesn’t matter to him, he just wants to match your energy
he tries to listen to you well and learn as much as he can about ways he can help when you need him to
like joshua, will probably carry around extra headphones or an extra mask or something just incase you misplace or forget yours
dino/chan
he’s a bit clueless, at least at first, but he tries really hard to learn
he probably is the type to carry a fidget spinner or some sort of fidget device for you to play with if those kinds of things help you
he’s also probably very awkward about handing it to you because idk he’s just weird??
always happy to try out new things with you when you’re feeling burnt out on your old hobbies or try to teach you a new dance routine or something to keep you occupied
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marigold-doms · 3 years
Note
I’ve been having this idea in my head for a while and I wonder how a writer would take it. a fluffy ff where Yrosang falls in love with his ‘opposite’: a v extroverted, bubbly and optimistic person. I always thought he would be the ‘opposites attract’ situation but maybe I’m stupid :0
Polar Opposites || Kang Yeosang ||
Pairing: fem!reader x student!yeosang
Word count: 0.9k
Genre: fluff
Warnings: no warnings just super cute 🥺
Mika🌻: Sorry that I’m posting this soo late but I hope you enjoy the mini scenario! I thought this was honestly the cutest thing ever! I tried my best to make it as accurate as possible~ Yeosang’s introverted-ness is so attractive honestly. It’s the quiet ones that’ll make life exciting. You just gotta peel back a few layers!
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Yeosang sits in the corner of the study hall, away from others while his music blares in his ears. His eyes scan the room and it was so hard to miss the extravagantly, happy girl walking in. You were always so bright and friendly. Smiling and laughing with your friends to and from classes. It made him wonder what kind of person you were for always sharing a smile with others. It was gravitational. A pull that he could sense was good.
The pull that Yeosang felt towards you. Like a moth to a flame, he was continuously drawn to you every time he saw you. He dared not approach you first though. You were always around a crowd of people. It was too much of a risk to just simply approach you.
Until he had no choice. 
Someone was bothering you that day, following around school grounds and insisting to convince you to an unwanted date. 
The very last thing Yeosang wanted you to feel was uncomfortable. He decides that he wants to save you from it. His feet are the first to move. His left hand tightly grasps the strap of the bag hanging on his toned shoulder. 
You turn away from the a pestering man and to a new face, timidly intercepting your line of vision. “Oh-” 
“Hey,” He curtly greets. You’re unsure if he’s a random jerk that also I wants to steal your attention or some guy that actually has something productive to tell you. 
The other guy refuses to be interrupted. “Dude, move. We’re talking.” 
“Y/n, don’t we have something to do?” Yeosang implies hoping that his sheer explosion of courage and quick-witted thinking works enough to get you to catch on. “We’re going to be late.” 
“Yes!” You force a shocked expression onto your face. “Of course, I’m so sorry I forgot! Hey Mingyu,” you press your lips together in false distain. “Sorry to leave you hanging but my boyfriend and I are headed somewhere.” 
Your arm around Yeosang’s almost makes him shit a brick. You were touching him. Like, actually touching him. He didn’t think that this impulsive action could get him this far.
You’re now walking arm in arm with yeosang aimlessly. He’s not even sure of what else to say until you break the silence. “Thank you for helping me out back there.”
He slowly blinks at you and you quickly remove your arms from his, “Oh-My bad!”, thinking you’ve made him uncomfortable. “Quick thinking back there by the way.”
Yeosang apprehensively shoves his hands in his pockets and shakes his head. Turning to face you as you guys stop underneath a big tree in the middle of the campus field. “Boyfriend?”
You sense the amusement on his face as soon as your eyes meet his. Was this quiet boy making fun of your fight or flight response? “What should I have said then?”
Yeosang doesn’t say anything. Pressing his heels into the ground as the silence swirls back between the two of you. He still can’t piece together any small talk to pitch. So he havens himself in silence.
“Have we met before?” Your suddenly curious because you wanted to at least know the handsome man’s name.
He shakes his head, still not making eye contact with you and for some reason, you can’t stand to leave this conversation until he actually lets you in on who he is.
You think to introduce yourself first and for the first time since you guys stopped walking, he makes eye contact with you.
Once Yeosang hears you introduce yourself, his thoughts stop and he’s struggling to force out more than two words.
“I’m Yeosang.” Even hearing his handsome voice made your stomach bubble with excitement. His name. You finally got a name.
“You don’t like talking much do you, Yeosang?” This question wasn’t to belittle him but you’re genuinely fixed on if you could befriended a person with such a polar opposite personality.
“Sometimes.”
A few people notice you and a group of people holler your name and wave. You quickly wave and smile before turning your focus back to the handsome, black-haired man.
Hm.
“Then,” You don’t miss a beat when you ask, “why’d you come talk to me, huh?” You cutely smile, tilting your head to his line of sight. His lack of reaction makes you want to reel more out of him.
“You were too nice to say no.”
He was right... The slight sass in his tone makes you beam at him so you throw a loaded question back in amusement. “You’re saying I’m easy, Yeosang?”
“I didn’t say that.” He tilts his head back at you. His eyes darting from the ground to your forehead. Not quite looking directly at your eyes.
“Most guys usually mind their business...” You point out, then deciding to drop the topic because your brain wandered off into a different thought. “You busy right now?”
He shakes his head slowly. Shifting his weight as he examines his shoes. “No. Not right now.”
“How about in the next few hours? Any classes?”
Yeosang shakes his head again.
“You get why I’m asking you all these questions right?”
He looks at you as if you think he’s dense. “You’re making it pretty obvious that you want to do something.”
“What do you think that something is?”
His eyes dart from yours to the building right next to where you were standing. “Study?”
“Do you like studying?”
His face contorts. “Hell, no.”
His timid protest makes you laugh.
A sound that surrounds Yeosang’s ears and causes him to laugh quietly along with you. The way your eyes smiled with your laugh made his heart race out of his chest.
“I’m the same way.” You tell him in between your giggles.
His smile tilts upwards as he laughs and you find it adorable. So alluring that something so subtle like a change in his facial expression brings out such a beautiful sight.
This was your first sign.
That this adorably funny, introverted man was going to fill every. single. thought in your mind.
Yeosang was going to be your boyfriend.
[end]
58 notes · View notes
khuzena · 3 years
Text
Continuation of xiao ff
P2/2
Tw. Double suicide, depression, angst, fluff at end
'dear xiao,
Im so sorry that im always clinging onto you like a tail. Im sorry that I always bother you and annoy you. I've always pestered you to tell me where you're going sometimes because Im always worried about your safety. It hurts me that you just randomly open up to my door wounded with alot of scars. Im so sorry for the stupid things I've done to you and I love you so much so im going to do it.
Remember the cliff at qingyun peak? It's where we first met. Where you first saw me crying because I got lost and was running away from those fatui guys. Going there feels nostalgic andncalming but knowing that I've basically ruined us, i don't deserve you. I hope you find someone else to be with you and can always make you happy without you being annoyed anymore. Even if it takes another 2000 years, i wish you the best xiao. I love you. If you still want to chase after me go to the place where our memories were first kept.
I'll only be waiting for you there for an hour. So if you're late, im sorry but. Im already dead.
I don't want to become a burden for you again xiao im so sorry i fucking messed up.
I really love you. Like really, so if you're handling the burdens all alone of your karmic debt and everything, allow me to remove myself from your own burdens.
Im so sorry i love you i missed you
Love, Y/n'
No. No. No. No. No. This can't be happening no. no. I never wanted things to end like this.
Without caring for a thought, my body moved on its own to the cliff at qingyun peak.
I have 15 minutes left...
_________
Your pov.
5 minutes left.
I don't expect him to come here. He must've saw the letter a little late i guess. Oh well. The view of qingyun peak is so pretty. It might be even prettier view if i can see it all from falling to the ground.
I take off my shoes and remove the bracelet xiao gave me.
Farewell,
2 minutes left
I hear a rumble behind me.
What was that???!?
When i glance over at the smoke from the rumble I see xiao with his cheeks stained from his tears.
"I.. please don't do it..." xiao says with a weak voice that sounded like his throat was worn out after crying too much.
I stare at the ground once again like how I did back then when he called me annoying and clingy.
I can't face him again. It hurts so much.
As i keep staring at the ground, I hear foot steps coming my way. Xiao. Why..
"Why are you still chasing for me?!?"
Tears are flowing from my eyes again. It hurts so much more than the fight before.
"I'm still chasing after you because I really fucking love you and the fight that happened weeks ago is.. Painful. I don't want to die knowing I never told you Im sorry and I never said my apology.."
Xiao's crying too. Why... Im making him cry because of me. I don't wsnt to hurt him anymore
I can't do anything anymore. I've lost everything. My legs feel weak. These weak legs of mine fall down as I break down right in front of him... Im so sorry xiao...
"Xiao... Im still going to do it you know."
"Why must you do it? You didn't lose everything, im still here for you."
"BUT... BUT.. I made you cry. I made you worry. I annoyed you so much. Why do you want me to stay?"
"Because you're everything I have."
...
I cry even more and I can't do this anymore. I want to wake up from this dream. I want to wake up in your arms while you comfort me and tell me it was just a bad dream. I want to...
"But I've suffered to much and You've suffered too... Don't you want to end it all with me? I want to die with you. I don't want to see you crying at my funeral someday. Let's just jump together..."
"You know... If that's the case then"
Xiao puts a ring from both our fingers and
"there. If we die here and now then in the after life we can find each other with these rings. Consider this as a proposal."
I cry even more but we hug each other as we get closer to the cliff.
"Y/n... Will you marry me? Even in our next life?"
"Yes I... I do"
My tears from fear and sadness wash away as I cry in happiness. I really can be with you forever my love.
We jump together in the cliff as we could see the whole view from qingyun peak.
Everything looks beautiful from this view.
We're falling together but my brain keeps showing me my memories with xiao.
"I really love you y/n"
"I love you more"
Ah. We're almost close to the ground.
"Im so happy I can die with you Xiao!"
"Y/n... Promise me this. Even if we die here we'll always love and look for each other okay? Let's enjoy our marriage at the other side"
We're getting closer.
And closer.
"Xiao I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AHH"
we hit the ground.
Im in his arms as we bleed to our death.
"y/n... Let me tell you something before we go rest.."
Xiao is in pain and so am i but it's ok. We'll be together forever this time.
"hmm... What is it, honey?"
"Im so happy i met you and..."
My eyes are closing and my vision is getting blurry.
I don't even feel the pain from that fall anymore, all i can feel is Xiao's warmth slowly fade away.
"y/n.. I love you to the moon and back"
' * **** *** ** *** **** *** ****'
Beep.
"goodnight xiao, let's meet again and eat tofu, ok?"
"goodnight, my love.. I'll see you soon"
the end.
Shit writing this fanfic hurts my throat it's so sad my lawdy. But hey i know xiao is ooc but at least they're happy now?
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theyarebothgunshot · 3 years
Note
ROSE I AM FREAKING OUT HAVE YOU SEEN THE PREQUEL STUFF???? WHAT IS GOING ON, my god... I was literally about to go to sleep, decided to check Tumblr one last time and see this.... what WHAT!! WHATTTT!!!!!! I don't even know if this is good bad or what but just JENSEN IS PRODUCING A SUPERNATURAL PREQUEL AND DEAN'S GONNA BE THE NARRATOR OR Sth LIKE???? -🐸
YEAH i am normal about this <3 (jk i am also freaking out) welcome to: people screaming to me in my inbox about prequelgate ft. j/2 fallout theory. let's goooo!
Another copypasta and suddenly chaos machine is full on gay I love this prophecy
you know whats funny i just checked the j/2 tag and i feel like for the first time in a long time they are starting to realise that maybe THEY should be the ones who are "gutted" *sips tea*
ROSE HOLY SHIT ROOOOOOOOSE ITS HAPPENING HOLY SHIIIIIT
YEAH
Nevermind just read prequel and well good luck I guess but just you know kind of bleh who wants to watch John Winchester well let’s have hope anyways
i know a lot of people are bummed out but i am kind of very excited actually?? i trust robbie and even though yeah j*hn winchester turned into a nasty abusive bastard, it can be interesting to explore how it all started (imo). it's just the first of many stories they can tell.
I can only accept this circus if it’s Dean telling the stories to his and Cas’ kids and then we have a revival to show that the whole finale was in fact the end Chuck wanted there Jensen I fixed it
i would not say no to this
heyloo bee anon here
um- wtf is happening?
jackles prequel series?? why? i want to be excited about this but sheesh im scared
because supernatural is never dead <3
okay, but, jensen... john winchester ≠ jdm, you don’t have to go /that/ hard for him 🙃
true true... though i am waiting for jdm to comment on this, please i need it
WAIT A SECOND J2 FALLOUT THEORY TRUE??
LMAO HELL YEAH BESTIE
Rose you really picked the worst time to sleep for real
bestie it was literally 4 in the morning, what do you expect from me sdfjsfhsf
I can’t literally can’t we were all right LMAO j2 fallout theory is real and cockles (Misha supporting Jensen) is [gunshots] I’m just laughing cause what the hell is this timeline we’re living LMAOOOOOOOOOO
we would always end up here <3
Do we have the copypaste anons to thank for JP basically confirming the J2 fallout? lol 🦚
yes, everybody say 'thanks annoying idiots!'
ROSE, WAKE UP, COME HERE,
THERE'S A LOT GOING ON FFS
YEAH I KNOW BUT I NEEDED SLEEP
Anticipating that there's going to be a lot of yelling about the prequel on here: I am cackling, but also, I mean, the first time Dean got a look into his parent's past, Cas was the catalyst: literally entered Dean's mind and catapulted him to the 70s. So idk, it's not completely unreasonable to expect some Cas cameos, maybe setting up a parallel timeline since Dean is narrating. What I'm saying is, this is Jackles, he's getting JDM and Misha in on this lmao -Honeymoon Anon
you were right lmfaooo also i fully agree. misha's tweet further cemented that thought for me. he knew about this prequel and i dont think he is cas-baiting us, i think he'll be involved. i'd also be obsessed to see jensen and jdm act together again (though idk who jdm could play seeing as it's a prequel and he is way too old to play young j*hn)
longlivethetribbles heeft gevraagd:
Heyyyyyy bestie, are you SEEING the absolute madness going on right now holy shit
well a little late but I SURE AM BESTIE
bestie wake up pls s16 finale just dropped.
- 🍯
and WHAT a great one it was
I love coming home from work to see all of the chaos unfolding on Tumblr and Twitter. I'm absolutely buzzing right now. I'll probably still be here by the time you wake up and check tumblr 😂 - 🐢
lmaooo and were you still awake?? did you see my freak out??
Oooh bestie wake the fuck up, I know you’re gonna be excited for this one jsnsjsj
god i had SUCH a morning like. it's 12:00 now and all i did since i woke up is check tumblr rip
short summary: jen and dee gain the rights, they post on ig/twitter about a prequel ft john and mary that no one asked for, the fandom loses its everloving shit as usual, they trend on twitter thanks to the beloved twt intern who missed us, misha qt’s jen about cas possibly benefiting from being in the prequel, then j*red qt’s jensen abt how his feelings got hurt by him not being told about a prequel his character as no involvement in & he initially throws a tantrum, and the rest is history - 🦋 anon (ps: i hope this helps a little, i’ve been scattered brained trying to keep up with it all night lmao so pls let me know if i missed anything, bug crew !!)
thank you so much darling i figured it out eventually but this is a helpful summary!!!
I hope you enjoyed waking up to all of this XD -🐢
i sure did!!! also that answers my question about you being awake lmao
I WILL NEVER EVER EVER FORGIVE MYSELF FOR SLEEPING THROUGH ALL OF THIS DRAMA AND NOT EXPERIENCING IT IN PERSON I DIDN'T NEED THIS SLEEP - tea anon
well the party was still going strong this morning so im not TOO "gutted" see what i did there lmaooo
Now that you are caught up with the news... So idk if you remember this but...didn't jarpad tell jackles he was up for a reboot in an online panel? And jackles answered that this was news to him??
-🍯
yeah i think you are right but he was clearly joking and didnt expect jackles to actually be working on something already
J2 anon spare more of those anons let's finish this - tea anon
please, we're having a ball in this bitch
I saw a post on tumblr where someone said now that Kripke gave J&D the rights, maybe they’re starting with a prequel just to end on a reboot in years time and honestly ? I wanna believe that so badly. This is tinhatty but what if this is all calculated in a way that makes it so that Jensen is slowly starting to fix everything that was wrong with spn - now that he has the rights and he’s slowly making spn his own story ?! I mean he did say in his ig post he wants to ‘fill in the rest’ - and maybe Mary and John’s story is only the beginning of spn related content from J&D to come ??? Maybe he wants to give spn the justice it deserves ?? Thoughts ??
i dont think this is tinhatty at all i think this is very possible and not that much of a reach. i could see this happening yeah for sure
want to hear something funny. I found out I had a ruptured blood vessel in my eye because I was sending my friend a video freaking out when the prequel news dropped and I noticed the corner of my eye was red af. and when I got back online jared had tweeted.
DJFHSJD ANON THE CHAOS OF IT ALL, HELP, are you okay? <3
rose.. bestie... how are you feeling about The News? nsfshsf being european is a curse </3 🐞
i feel GREAT im living for it i feel on top of the world tbh (and yeah it really is dsjfhs)
What am I waking up to I can't WHAT I rested my eyes for like 5 minutes help *hits reblog button* - anon anon
yep yep essentially djfhs
“Jensen and Misha are Co workers who barley talk”
I can’t be sure of course but I’m fairly certain that this is the copypasta that brought the j/2 fallout theory back to life. Who’s apparently ‘barely talking’ now? skansjsjsj. It’s almost prophetic, these j/2 anons have superpowers I’m telling ya.
-poker face anon
next time we get one of them we should be thanking them lmaooo
ok, but are we gonna talk about the "When Daneel and I formed Chaos Machine Productions, we knew that the first story we wanted to tell was the story of John and Mary Winchester [...]"-quote because the way this is phrased implies they formed CHAOS MACHINE Productions with the intent of telling this story (first), i haven't been in this dumpster long enough but the name just tickles me in that Misha way, isn't it so sus??? am i missing something???? i mean with this announcement they SURE lived up to that name... 🧩-anon
you are absolutely right, chaos machine SCREAMS misha and we are all here for it!!
hey hey hey. joining the clownverse, there's no way THEE cas girl danneel doesn't know just how much the fandom loves misha and cas. so 2 + 2 = misha in the spn prequel!
AGREED
So I think I finally managed to catch up on wtf happened while I was asleep and my brain melted. What a shit show to wake up to.
Anyway thoughts.
I don't hate the idea of a Mary&John sequel. I think it has the potential to be good (It has the potential to be really bad too, so I'm kind scared).
🕯️🕯️🕯️ manifesting Mary being badass and John being kinda useless🕯️🕯️🕯️
As for the Jensen and J*red thing.
I can see Jensen not telling J*red even if they are still friends, because J*red is kinda good at accidentally telling Secrets. He could have told him right before he announced it so, so that J*red didn't have to find out from twitter. He was on the show for 15 years, he is bound to get asked about it. The public twitter meltdown was really unprofessional so. Like you have Jensen's number J*red. You could have sorted that out in private like a normal person, but instead you choose to act like a toddler throwing a tantrum.
Is it weird that I'm actually going to be kinda that for them if the actually had a falling out, even tho I don't like J*red all that much. They seemed to be really important to each other and while I thought before that the might have triefted apart a bit, I didn't think that the where actively fighting.
- 🐌 anon
the thing is, the polite/normal thing for jensen to do was text him before announcing it on twitter. it's weird he didn't, and that makes me believe that maybe yeah they did have a falling out. especially with the way j*red responded to it on twitter. if he had no other reason to be this upset (no prior beef or falling out) you'd think that he wouldn't be responding like this. on the other hand, the man is a mysterie to me so who the hell knows. i'm not gonna mourn about it if they did/do grow apart because j*red is just.... awful imo.
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perriewinklenerdie · 4 years
Text
Do no harm (Ethan x MC)
Open Heart, Ethan Ramsey x MC
A/N:  Hi guys! How are we doing? We got some info this chapter, huh? Not everything was what we expected (yes, Louise, I'm looking at your 'reasons' for leaving), but the chapter, while it definitely could have been better (especially LIs heading in the direction of a committed relationship instead of pulling away, since, you know, MC just almost died? ffs?), but it did have some sort of a nice balance of humor, romance (a bit, i'll give you that pb), medical cases and serious issues. My brain tried to think of a rewrite, but as soon as the chapter ended, my attention was pulled towards the idea of a certain conversation that could potentially happen between C and Louise (I don't see pb doing it, but who knows, it's pb). So here we are :D
I struggled a bit with what was supposed to happen in this conversation, simply because I didn’t want to overstep or make light of what the situation was. This is what I came up with, I hope I didn’t screw up too badly.
Tumblr media
Summary: Some time after Louise moved to the rehab clinic, Claire decides to visit her and talk to her alone.
Enjoy! <3
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„You want to do what?” Ethan sighed, leaning against the wall on the far end of the diagnostics office, his arms folded across his chest. Claire smiled timidly, taking a hesitant step in his direction, throwing a quick look over her shoulder to make sure they were truly alone.
“I want to borrow your car.”
“And just why would you need it?” he asked, observing how she stumbled over the explanations. It wasn’t that he didn’t want her to drive his car; she’s done that before, so he knew she’d be safe. “If you need to pick something up, I can drive you.”
“I know, but the store closes in thirty minutes and we can’t both leave the hospital for that long. I’d go by bus, but the books are incredibly heavy. I’ll be back before you know it, I promise.”
His eyes focus on her, on the way she shifts her weight from her right to her left foot, anxiousness rolling off her in waves. Shaking his head, he fished out his car keys from his pocket, handing them to her.
“Please, be careful.” He muttered when the skin of their hands brushed against each other, sending a lone spark up his arm. Claire nodded, a mischievous grin appearing on her face when she dove towards him, kissing him on the lips briefly before retreating quickly, as though she only then remembered their own rule.
“Oops.” She winked at him, then walked out of the office in a great hurry, giving him no time to respond, but plenty of time to process what had happened. With a grin that made him look like a fool, he walked over to the desk and picked up one of the charts, reluctantly going back to work.
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Books that Claire mentioned to Ethan had a very specific name. Louise Ramsey. And they just so happened to be in a driving distance, on the path that she dimly remembered from the trip they took not that long ago. She parked the car and turned the engine off, taking a moment to breathe in and out. It wasn’t too late to back out, Ethan’s words ringing in her ear like a warning.
No. She came there for a reason.
The same lady greeted her at the reception, smiling at her insecurely when she remembered how both Ethan and Claire threatened to make the facility close down if they even so much as thought about mistreating their patients.
“How can I help you?” the woman asked, her back a bit straighter. Claire stepped towards the counter, feeling a bit out of place.
“I’m here to see Louise Ramsey?” her voice shook only for a split second and she prayed that the receptionist didn’t notice.
“What’s your name, if I may ask?”
“Clarissa Herondale.”
Nodding, the woman smiled and turned towards the book she had on the desk, checking something that Claire couldn’t possibly know. A moment later she excused herself, picking up the phone and disappearing behind the door leading to the back room, leaving Claire alone with her thoughts. Hesitation began to drip into her mind. She no longer knew if she was doing the right thing. What if she didn’t want to talk to her? What if Ethan got mad at her?
She didn’t have more time to overthink everything, because at this exact moment the receptionist came back, smiling warmly at her. “Please, follow me.”
A short walk along an even shorter hall left her standing in the threshold of Louise’s room, by which point she was left alone. Ethan’s Mother was sitting on her bed, looking out the window in deep contemplation, an open book in her lap. Claire cleared her throat to gain her attention.
“Ms. Ramsey?” she called out, taking a hesitant step and then waiting for the invitation. If she didn’t want to see her, this was the moment she could tell her to go to hell. But that didn’t happen.
Louise’s face lit up in a smile, clearly happy that someone visited her, but surprised that it was her. Closing the book and setting it aside, she sat up. “Dr. Herondale! Please, do come in.”
Claire walked over to her slowly before, finally, sitting down on the chair by the bed. The older woman watched her every move, like she was analyzing her based on the way her feet worked. Sitting a close distance away from one another, Claire could almost see how Louise’s brain tried to work out the situation. She didn’t blame her; the only times they saw each other, besides that one time at the store, was with Ethan by her side. Now, they were alone, and that, if nothing else, was an entirely new territory for both of them.
“To what do I owe the pleasure?” Louise asked, smiling at the woman that she knew for a fact, held an important place in her son’s life. Ethan most likely didn’t know that she knew, but it was impossible for her not to notice how he acted around the young doctor. If there wasn’t anything between them now, there definitely would be something between them in the future.
“I wanted to check in on you, see how you are settling in.” Claire responded with an unreadable expression. Not giving too much information, prompting questions.
“Does Ethan know you’re here?”
“No. He doesn’t.”
That surprised Louise. In the blank face of Dr. Herondale, she could suddenly see wild determination, like she was on a mission and she’s just found the purpose of it. Her entire posture changed into a straighter and more serious one, but right as the blonde opened her mouth to speak, her gaze turned soft, like she was thinking about something she felt deeply for. It didn’t take a genius to know exactly what, or more specifically, who the young doctor what thinking about.
“You care about him. Ethan. You two are together.” Louise added things up, coming to the only logical conclusion. The blush that immediately appeared on Claire’s cheeks only proved her theory to be correct. “He cares about you too, though I’m sure you already know that. He’s got that look in his eyes.”
Claire let her gaze fall onto her shoes, unsure how she should proceed. They were extremally careful around the hospital, but outside, that caution was nonexistent. For Louise to put the pieces together that fast, it meant that they were either entirely obvious or just so taken with each other that no amount of plotting could hide it.
“Alan thinks so too, by the way.” Louise continued, smiling knowingly at the young woman in front of her. Deciding that she’s made her point clear, she moved back to the subject at hand. “I’m so happy that you came to see me. Ethan visited two days ago, and Alan is here almost every day, but it’s nice to see a new face for a change.”
“I know Ethan visited you. He, uh, he asked me to come with him.” Claire twisted her fingers nervously, confirming further what the older woman already knew.
“Why didn’t you?”
“I thought that you two should have the opportunity to talk alone, so I stayed in the car.”
Louise nodded in understanding, the silence falling between the two women like an itchy blanket that made you more uncomfortable with each passing minute. Something didn’t add up about the situation they were in currently, and someone had to break the ice.
“Why are you here, Dr. Herondale?” she asked, watching the doctor with curiosity. She knew that Ethan didn’t send her there, otherwise he would have known about it. Something else was at play here. Claire’s face morphed from looking mildly unsure to troubled in a matter of seconds.
“One way or another, Ethan is a big part of my life.” she began explaining, unsure how much of her relationship should she let Louise know about. “I’ve been by his side when he learned that you wanted to talk to him again. He was with me that day when we ran into each other in the store.” Louise’s face twisted at the memory of the day she met Claire for the first time, not knowing who she was at the time. “I was with him when you came to the hospital. I don’t want to talk about your reasons for leaving, or about what happened while you were gone. I don’t want you to tell me anything about that, because it’s not me you should be telling that to. It’s Ethan and Mr. Ramsey that should hear it. If Ethan decides that he wants me to know about it, he’ll tell me himself, when he feels ready.”
As she finished the sentence, Claire felt out of breath. Louise’s eyes hardly left hers, observing her with intensity that kicked the air out of her lungs; like she knew something and was waiting for Claire to confirm it. Shaking her head, Ethan’s Mother spoke once more.
“If you’re not here to find out the truth about anything, then why are you here? Without Ethan even knowing?”
The blonde doctor cleared her throat, taking a deep breath to steady and remind herself that this is what she came there for in the first place. “I want… need to hear you say that you won’t hurt him again.” her voice was filled with desperation and the fierce protectiveness was evident in the way she spoke. “He’s been through enough, he doesn’t deserve to fall apart again.”
Louise watched the woman in front of her, speaking about her son with the depth of emotion that made her own heart ache. She’s wasted so many years while being away, hurting him beyond belief, but to see him have someone who wants to take care of him made her smile in relief. He had someone that smoothed out his rough edges and parted the clouds in the sky when they appeared. It’s all she could ever want for him.
“I’ve spent the last ten years thinking how to apologize and wishing I had enough courage to do so.” She tried to assure the younger woman, to no avail it seemed, as the next words that rang in the room were accompanied by a shake of the head that made blonde locks flow gently. Her voice, however, was stern and determined.
“Not what I asked for, Ms. Ramsey.”
“I promise I’m not here to hurt him. That’s the last thing I want.” Louise tried again, knowing that she would have to uncover all the thoughts she had hidden within her mind. “Even if he lets me see only a fraction of who he is, that will be enough.”
Claire considered what was said, then nodded slowly. Her shoulders fell in relief, her face breaking out in a fleeting insecure smile. “I’ve never been that person, to threaten others. Having said that, though, be warned.” She leaned forward a bit, schooling her expression into a serious one again. “If you hurt him, or Alan, you’re going to regret it. Are we clear?”
“Crystal, Dr. Herondale.” With a serious tone, the older woman nodded, understanding that the younger one wasn’t kidding. Claire breathed out deeply, clearly thankful that it was over. She glanced at the clock, her eyes widening in slight horror.
“I really have to go. I took a break from work, and while my boss doesn’t have a problem with that, I should get back to my patients.” She smiled as she said that, shaking her head in mock obviousness. “I promised Ethan I’d be back quickly, and I want to talk to him before my shift picks up again.”
As she stood up from her seat and turned towards the door, Louise spoke up again. “I hope we can talk more, some other time.”
“We’ll see.” Looking over her shoulder, the blonde allowed herself a hint of a melancholic smile. “Take care of yourself.”
-----------
Ethan was waiting for her to return in the same place she left him two hours prior. Sat on the couch with an article in his hand, he greeted her with a smile that got wider with every step she took towards him. She handed him the keys, standing in front of him in a safe distance. They didn’t say anything at first, the wordless atmosphere eventually getting cut short by Ethan.
“How’s Louise?” he muttered, looking up at her just in time to register her surprise, followed immediately by guilt. His knee nudged hers to reassure her that he wasn’t mad or upset. “The receptionist called me. The only people authorized to visit her are my Dad and I.” he clarified, making her face light up in understanding.
“So, you knew? And you didn’t stop me?”
“I believed you would tell me anyway. Though, I must say, I’m curious about the reason for your trip.” Ethan explained, wrapping one arm around her hips to pull her closer to him. She fell onto the couch with a giggle, trying to break her fall with her hands.
“She’s okay; a bit surprised that I was the one to walk through the door, as you can probably imagine.” She smiled at how a fraction of stress left his body at her words. “I wanted to hear her say it. That she wouldn’t cause you more pain.” Claire told him, muttering after looking at him in silence for a while. Ethan’s gaze softened at her words. “I even threatened her.” she recalled in disbelief, unsure how she managed to do it, given how unlike her it was.
“Is that so?” his smile grew wider, his eyes sneaking a look at the hall outside the office before he allowed himself to display his affection towards her. “My fierce ‘whatever-we-want-to-be’.” He whispered, inching closer to her. Them being in the hospital was the only thing that kept him from moving her into his lap. Instead, he stroked her calf with his foot, the corners of his lips rising higher.
“I don’t think she expected that.”
“I didn’t either.” He nudged her shoulder with his own teasingly. She scoffed, focusing her gaze at him with a mix of seriousness and playfulness.
“Hey, I feel protective of my ‘whatever-we-want-to-be’, okay? No one is hurting you on my watch.” Claire grinned happily, leaning into his touch when he brushed her hair behind her shoulder and kissed her forehead. Ethan smiled to himself at the feeling of warmth that flooded his chest, three words rising to the surface in his mind and almost falling from his lips.
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simpsiren · 3 years
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dong sicheng x reader, ft, taeyong
“Your brain works like a computer, like clockwork. Yet you just can’t think straight because you’re thinking of her, right?”
description. I watched in pain as my best friend whom I liked for ages become delusional of my feelings and fall in love with another girl. I never told my feelings for him, and I never will. Little did I know that he felt the same as well. The feelings that took him so long to realise, now with hope that it wouldn’t be too late.
genre. aNgsT, fluff, friends au, unrequited love au
warnings. sad but also not a sad ending. depends how you look at it cudndjdn
word count. 9.2k~
a/n. do yall ever feel emo and suddenly want to write a sad ff? yes this is one of those times. i actually never wrote a ff where it was eXtrEmElY sad but oh wells let’s put you on an emotional roller coaster ride while you read this HAHA enjoy!
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Dong Sicheng. Winwin as his nickname and what everyone, teachers and students, call him by. He’s smart, kind, sweet, and appearance wise you can never say no to that beautiful face. He’s an all rounder perfect student that everyone adores and admires. He’s extremely friendly, being able to socialise with everyone in the hallways right off the bat. I can confirm in my three years of high school that no one has never disliked him before.
The only thing that everyone dislike though is the fact that I’m his best friend. The only one that calls him by his real name, the one that can get close to him in terms of physical touch, and just have him by my side almost all the time. I received hate for being his best friend since they think he deserves better. But at this point, I really couldn’t care less, opting to stay quiet and accept the harsh words thrown at me with zero care for the world.
Since those insults are given to me when I’m away from Winwin, I never told him about what happens outside of his sight since I didn’t want him to be concerned for me and have him worry over a small matter. Things like this in high school are what I consider childish, which is why I try my best to ignore it as much as possible.
“Here. Another box of cookies and perfume. Also, a ton of love letters.” I said lazily, tossing the bag of gifts to Winwin’s lap and taking the seat beside him with a groan. I hated it when girls asked me to pass their gifts to Winwin because they’re too shy to do it themselves. It’s not like I’m some delivery girl in charge of taking care of their gifts. But I got used to it. Not sure if that’s exactly a good thing or not.
“You can have the cookies.” Winwin took out the box of cookies and handed it over to me. I took it and scoffed in amusement. “The price for the ingredients to make regular cookies is way more cheaper than buying it from wherever she got this.” I inspected the box and the cookies inside, noticing how expensive it looked with the decorations.
Regardless, I opened the box and picked up a cookie to take a bite. “Okay well it tastes good.” I said in defeat. Winwin wasted no time to grab a cookie and try it, instantly humming dreamily. “Oh wow it’s actual good.” Winwin moaned out as he finishes the cookie in his mouth.
“Being the school’s most adored student couldn’t get any more better, huh?” I reached into the bag of gifts and took out a random letter, twirling it around in my hand as I observed the aesthetics of it.
Winwin huffed, leaning back into the seat. “It’s tiring. I’m only down for the free food. And perfumes.” Winwin takes out the perfume, which I could already tell from its packaging that it was an expensive one. He unboxes it and squirts once to smell the fragrance in the air. He shrugged and shook his head. “Expected better. I’ll just sell this.”
I chuckled at his reaction, sniffing the scent that was in the air and nodding in agreement. “By the way...” Winwin suddenly started. I noticed his change in behaviour. He’s acting all shy and somewhat embarrassed, looking down and fidgeting with his fingers and feet. I raised at eyebrow at his unexpected mood change.
“You know the new student that got transferred four months ago?” I clicked my tongue and nodded. “Haeun, right? What about her?” I asked, though I wasn’t fully concentrated on the conversation because I couldn’t stop shoving the cookies into my mouth and admiring it’s savoury taste.
“Would it be weird to say I like her?”
I froze in my spot, a cookie halfway into my mouth as I tilted my head up from the cookies to look at Winwin. Though he was looking down to his feet, I could tell he was smiling to himself like an idiot and blushing intensively.
I knew where this was going. And I didn’t like it. It hurts my heart, like a needle constantly jabbing into my heart as the question that Winwin asked resonates in my head. Not receiving a reply, Winwin called out to me, making me shake my head and blinking my eyes rapidly to snap myself out of my thoughts.
“Um well, how’s she like?” I asked hesitantly. Why was I dumb enough to ask this? I’ll only be hurting myself more with the answer Winwin was about to give.
“She’s a badass. She’s strong, and she knows how to stand up to the students that bully her. I admire her a lot because she’s fearless. The way she can even fight back to the teacher and actually having valid arguments. She’s not like anyone else here.”
Of course she isn’t. She not at all like me either. I took a deep breath, knowing I’ve done a great job at stabbing myself in the back as I lump filled my throat, once again unable to give a single reaction of sentence. “You okay? You seem worked up suddenly.” Winwin suddenly got closer and I quickly inched back.
I felt my body getting tensed up as my face gave a blank expression. I wasn’t sure what to feel. Anger, sadness, heart fluttering due to Winwin’s small action of getting close to my face. Maybe all three.
“You do remember what happened the other times you have liked a girl, right? You know they didn’t end well. I don’t see why you’re still trying.”
That, was the only excuse I could come up with to have Winwin not having any interest in other girls. Before high school, he’s liked plenty of girls. But they’ve all rejected him, causing him to come to me for comfort. It hurt my heart, seeing that I’m the one that has to watch him go through a heartbreak and being the hopeless romantic he was. It also pained me in a way that I couldn’t describe.
If only you were mine, you wouldn’t have gone through any of that.
“What if someone else liked you? What would you do?” Winwin tilted his head upwards with a finger on his chin for a moment as he stopped to think. He had an unreadable expression on his face, only making me wonder what he would reply.
“Depends on who.” Winwin simply replied.
“What if that someone is really close to you?” His forehead creased with raised brows, probably either curious as to why I’m asking such questions or trying to figure out where this conversation is heading.
“The only ones I’m close to are you and Yuta.” A few seconds later, Winwin gaped his mouth open and covered it with the palm of his hand, letting out a shocking gasp. “Is Yuta gay?!” Winwin burst out laughing crazily, smacking his thigh as he had a hand on his stomach.
I could only sit there with an unamused face. I glanced sideways and forced a smile. A simpered smile that would best hide what I truly felt. I rose from my seat with the box of cookies in hand. “I meant the other person, Dong Sicheng.” I looked straight into his eyes with a face of seriousness. Though I doubt Winwin understood what I meant by that.
Not being able to handle this any longer, I walked away, despite Winwin calling out my name multiple times. I walked till I hid behind a wall where it was out of Winwim’s sight, beginning to slide my back down the wall till I hit the ground, my eyes starting to get flooded with tears till they finally stream down my face. I brought my knees close to my chest with the box of cookis in between and hiding my face with my arms.
How long do I have to keep this up? How long do I have to wait till Winwin realises my feelings for him? All this time while he went through constant heartbreaks, I was the only one there for him. Me. I had to watch him cry days on end all because of a girl who doesn’t even mean much.
And now I have to watch him go through it again. But I can’t stop him. It’s his feelings. Despite my constant share of concerns for him, he never seemed to stop being the stupid one in love. Dong Sicheng was, and always will be, a hopeless romantic.
But in a way, I was as well. Not being able to let go of my feelings for him that has kept me tied down for so long. I liked him for years and I knew my love was more than what the girls he liked before could offer. If only he could just see that. But waiting for that moment slowly began to get tiring.
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I wondered where Winwin has gone to as I laid on the living room couch with my phone held in the air showing Winwin’s contact on the screen. I contemplated on whether I should call him or not.
There have been days where Winwin would come back to our apartment late, but it’s either because he had family events (which happens quite often in Winwin’s case) or just an outing with Yuta. But I would have known the reason either way since he’d always update me whenever he went. It felt out of place to not know where he was and it made me a little worried.
As I was about to press on the call button, I heard the front door open. Lifting my head from the couch, I turned around and saw Winwin taking off his shoes and walking in. “Where the heck have you been, you dork?!” I shouted, throwing a pillow from under my head.
He got hit by it, resulting him to frown and let out a wince due to his overreacting nature. “Chill I just went out of Haeun, alright?” Winwin picked up the pillow from the ground and tossed it back to me.
I didn’t even bother asking why he went out with her. I didn’t want to hear about it either, knowing that my emotional feelings for him that I’ve tried to hide for so long will start to flare up. Regardless, Winwin ran over to me and pushed my legs off fhe couch to give him space to sit. I groaned at his act and sat up straight.
“Today was so fun! I went to the amusement park with Haeun and holy shit was she good at winning games but I wasn’t able to win any for her and I felt bad so we...”
As Winwin rambled on about his amazingly perfect night out with Haeun, I spaced out and could only think about what I have to deal with once Haeun leaves Winwin again. Though now I’m starting to doubt that because well, who wouldn’t want Winwin? He had a major glow up from elementary school to high school anyways.
But now my mind has wondered off to the possibility that I might actually lose Winwin once he gets together with her. And how the feelings that I’ve kept solely for him would go to waste and my times of waiting on him would mean nothing.
“Good that you had fun. I’ll go to bed now.” I said in monotoned manner when Winwin finally stopped talking.
“Oh um okay... goodnight. Sleep tight. Dream of me, alright?” He probably noticed my sudden change in attitude but didn’t bother asking, and instead tried to lighten the mood with a little joke.
“I always dream of you.” I mumbled under my breath as I walked away and entered my room.
Little did I know, my soft mumble wasn’t as soft as it seemed.
“Why did she sound serious when she said that?” Winwin asked himself as he sat there in silence. He started to think about her weird behaviour these days. Especially whenever he brought up about Haeun. Was there something wrong with talking about Haeun? Why did she look like all the energy was drained out of her whenever he spoke Haeun’s name?
Winwin’s deep thoughts got cut off when he felt his phone vibrating in his pocket. He took it out to see a notification from Haeun asking if they should go out more often. He didn’t bother to reply as his mind was only filled with his best friend, deeply concerned but also anxious.
“What am I feeling right now?”
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Yuta and I decided to eat lunch together since Winwin’s chemistry teacher held his class back for a reason that he never specified.
Our conversation was going well till somehow our topic swerved into talking about Winwin.
“I heard Winwin’s going out with Haeun more often, and ditching you too.” Yuta suddenly mentioned, taking a sip of his lemon tea.
I suspired and nodded my head. “Yeah well, I’m not too happy about that.” I swirled my straw in my drink, getting mesmerised at the sight. “Of course you don’t. You like him.”
My eyes immediately shot up to Yuta’s, narrowing my eyes in an intimidating manner as I whispered, “Don’t mention it, please. It already hurts enough that it’s a fact.” I said, my eyes softening right after as I frowned. 
“You still aren’t giving me a proper answer as to why you can’t tell him.” Yuta bobbed his shoulders, adjusting his blazer. “I told you time and time again.”
I groaned, covering my eyes with a hand. “He’s my best friend. You know how weird it’ll be if we have feelings for each other. Secondly, even if he does like me back, how will things turn out between us if we argue or something? It’s worse for you because you’re friends with the both of us.” I explained, making random hand gestures like you would do in a presentation. 
“But still. It’s important to be friends before lovers. Better yet best friends to lovers. You’re basically saying that a male and female can’t be friends without one of them falling in love. Well. I mean you fell in love but-”
“But what, huh?” 
Yuta let out a deep sigh before leaning in, resting his chin on his hands with his fingers interlocked together. “But that doesn’t explain you and me. We’re friends but we’ve never fell in love.” Yuta gave a cheeky smile. I growled and smacked his forehead, hard. “What it’s the truth! Anyways, if you aren’t going to anything about Sicheng, I will.”
As soon as he said those words, I wasted no time to loom over the table to grab him by the collar. “Do anything, and you’ll get brutally killed.”
Yuta simpered, knowing he fucked up as he laughed in fear. “W-with what?” Yuta asked hesitantly. I slowly picked up the fork from my tray and raising it beside my head. 
“This fork.” This time, Yuta laughed hysterically, removing my hand away from his collar and throwing me back down to me seat. I let out a huff, slamming the fork back on the plate. “Which body part do you want to hit with a fork, sweetie?” Yuta teased.
I threw him a sharp glare with a line appearing between my brows. “I’ll carve out your eyeballs first so you’ll never see the light of day.” I rolled my eyes and shook my head, finding Yuta shaking in fear as he waved his hands in the air in defense. “Okay, okay. I’ll shut up. Jeez...”
“I just want him to realise my feelings himself. Have you seen what he’s gone through? I have to deal with his stupid feelings while I have to bear the fact that he won’t see me as anything more than a best friend. His delusional ass that I can’t stop falling for...” I continued.
“I’m more stupid in this situation than him if we’re going to be honest.”
Later that day, Yuta and I invited Winwin to go out and have dinner. We were waiting in front of the restaurant only to be greeted with Winwin and a somewhat unwanted guest.
“Oh! Haha it’s Haeun...” Yuta waved a hand to her. She greeted him back with a gentle smile that could possibly mesmerised anyone if she wanted to. Yuta took a quick glance at me. I was pretty sure we were both thinking the same thing. About how I’m not liking the fact that she’s here with Winwin. He brought his hand to my back and rubbed it gently as a sign of comfort.
Don’t get me wrong. I hold no hatred or grudge towards her. It’s just that I didn’t want to see Winwin with another girl. Clearly, I was jealous. I was just too weary of Winwin’s feelings and mine to own up to it.
“Let’s go in then?” She asked excitedly, looking up to Winwin as she tucked a few strands of hair behind her ear. Winwin smiled back and patted her on the head. I was already not liking how physically close they were.
Little actions like patting the head, hugging, ruffling the hair. Those were all actions that only Winwin has ever done to me. He wouldn’t even be this close to the girls that he used to like. Seeing that he’s now becoming more open, it made me disappointed a lot more than it should due to the deep stupid meaning I hold of the little things he does.
Our conversations while we were eating were quite general. Most questions were about Haeun and getting to know her better. Well, more specifically it was Yuta since I’m pretty sure Winwin already knew a lot about her. As for me, I didn’t bother.
“You should try this. It’s delicious.” Haeun suddenly said, picking up a drumstick of the chicken that was just served to us and bringing it to Winwin’s mouth. Haeun placed a finger in Winwin’s chin to bring his head closer. With Winwin opening his mouth widely, Haeun feeds him with the most brightest smile.
“You’re so cute.” I heard Winwin whisper as he leaned down to Haeun’s ear. She giggled with glee and nudged him in the shoulder. It was obvious that she was liking it. Her blushing couldn’t get any more serious.
He hummed in satisfaction as he chewed on the chicken. “You should try it, too.” Winwin said, passing me a drumstick and putting it on my plate. I forced a smile, which turned out to me only giving a half-smile due to my effort of trying to hide my feelings slowly becoming drained.
Seeing how Yuta kept stealing glances at me, I could only assume that he knew what I was feeling when he suddenly said, “Actually it seems like she’s getting tired. I’ll see her off. You guys have fun.” Yuta swung an arm around my shoulder as the two of us stood up and grabbed our belongings before heading out and leaving the two to hang out by themselves.
“You didn’t have to do that...” I whispered, looking into my bag and checking if I left anything behind. Yuta shook his head and shoved his hands into the pockets of his jeans. “I had to. It was hard to watch you die inside while they were being all lovey-dovey.” Yuta replied.
“Anyways, can you go home yourself?” I gaped my mouth and scoffed, glancing sideway before looking up to him with a raised brow. “You brought me out here but you can’t be a gentleman and send me home!?” I hissed.
“The food inside was actually good and I’m willing to finish whatever’s on my plate!” Yuta retorted with a cute pout as a way to persuade me to follow his way. With the unamused face I gave him, he huffed and ran a hand through his hair.
As though a lightbulb was suddenly lif above his head, he snapped his fingers and shouted, “Ahah!” making me flinch back at the sudden noise. “I’ll text Taeyong to drive you home on his motorbike.”
I furrowed my eyebrows, but shrugged in the end as I admitted it was a good idea. “Yeah sure. I find him cute.” I said plainly, which somehow earned me a weird look from Yuta.
“You called him cute?” Yuta asked in a way that told me that he was surprised. I nodded my head slowly, not sure about why he reacted that way but I was quick to figure it out. “Don’t be an idiot and assume I like him. Everyone finds him cute, okay? It’s like how fangirls call their idols cute all the time. It means nothing.” I said with a sigh.
Yuta’s surprised face slowly turned into a sinister one as his mouth formed a wide smirk. “Hey. Honestly speaking, if you can’t have Winwin, You should try Taeyong. He’s a good catch.” Yuta winked at me before looking down to this phone and texting Taeyong.
I smacked him in the arm, making him wince in pain but recovered in no time due to his endurace of me beating him up almost all the time. “You think my three years of affection for Winwin will just magically go away if I liked him? Don’t be ridiculous, will you?” I let out a ‘tsk’ as I threw him a death glare.
“You never know, sweetie.” Yuta breathed out, putting his phone away and getting close to me. “He’s coming in ten minutes so I’ll go now, okay? Text me when you get home.” Yuta gave a heartwarming smile as he reached both his hands out to rub my shoulders before bidding his last goodbye and going back in.
I scratched my head as I sat down at one of the benches near the entrance while I waited for Taeyong. I soon saw the motorbike that looked familiar since it was always parked at the parking lot at school, knowing it was him.
Taeyong stopped in front of me and lifted the shield of his helmet, revealing his face. He stepped down from his bike and headed to the trunk to take out a spare helmet. I walked up to him with a soft smile.
“Thanks for wanting to send me home. I would’ve gone myself.” I said as I took the helmet that Taeyong handed out to me. “It’s fine. I was pretty free and wanted to go out for a bit.” Taeyong smiled back with a light shrug.
“By the way...” I let out while adjusting my helmet. “Hm?” Taeyong asked.
“Can you take me to an ice cream shop? Any will do. I just need to eat something sweet right now.”
Taeyong got on his back and tapped the seat behind him to signal me to get on as he started up his motorbike. “Sure. I have a place in mind.”
I hopped on as I thought we were about to head off, Taeyong turned his head back to look at me. “You should place your hands on my shoulder. If it’s uncomfortable for you, just hold onto the handles beside you. Just... make sure you have something to grip on.”
I looked down to one of my sides to find the handle that Taeyong mentioned but there’s wasn’t any. I didn’t bother asking and made the quick decision if placing my hands on his shoulders to not keep him waiting. He finally puts down the shield of his helmet as we drove off.
Taeyong ended up taking me to an ice cream shop that was opened for twenty four hours. Which I was thankful for since it meant that there’s an ice cream shop I could go to at four in the morning in case I was in my feels one night.
I ordered two scoops of cookie dough while Taeyong ordered three scoops of cookies and cream. We had to sit at the roadside since the shop didn’t provide anywhere to sit. But I was fully fine with it since I wanted to feel the night air as well as look at the night sky.
We both ate in silence till I fed myself a bite and stuck my spoon into the ice cream, looking up to the sky and closing my eyes for moment.
“Are you on your period, perhaps?” Taeyong suddenly asked. I opened my eyes and tilted my head back down to look at him, shaking my head. “Why’d you think that?”
“I know that most girls have cravings that kick in at random times of the day during their periods. I also know girls crave sweet things too.” I chuckled at his response, nodding my head in agreement. “You’re right about the craving thing. But I’m not on my period.”
I paused for a moment before letting out a soft sigh. “It’s more of eating something sweet to wash down all the bitter feelings that build up in my throat.” I whispered, grabbing my spoon to take another bite.
Taeyong clicked his tongue and nodded his head slowly. “Do you mind me asking why? I-If it’s too personal you don’t have to-“
“What would you do if you liked a girl who’s your best friend for three years but she ended up liking someone else?” I cut him off, tilting my head to the side.
Taeyong looked up to stop and think. “I’ll probably do something to lose my feelings for her. I wouldn’t want to make myself suffer by keeping my feelings depite me knowing she won’t except it.”
“You know like move on. If I liked a girl for three years, I’ll probably take a long time to let go but maybe with the help of meeting new people and distancing myself away from her, I’ll eventually forget about her.” Taeyong added.
As I listened to his advice, I understood what he meant. Why do I burden myself with such feelings? It’s like I’ve been trapped in a cage due to the unrequited love I have for Winwin. Why make myself suffer any longer?
“That’s true... I probably should- I-I mean a friend asked me- Oh who am I kidding I’m asking you this for my sake.” I let out a sigh in defeat, stabbing my spoon into the ice cream before aggressively taking another bite.
“Let’s play some music. It’ll lighten the mood up a little.” Taeyong said with a warm smile, noticing my somber aura and wanting to do something about it.
He opened his phone as he scrolled through his playlist to find a song. “I really like this song so if I suddenly burst out dancing stupidly, don’t make fun of me.” I chuckled before nodding my head, eagerly as I was curious about the song he wanted to play. “I’m not judgy I promise.”
While the spoon that was filled with ice cream was being brough up to my lips, the song started playing and I quickly took a bite before swallong and gaping my mouth open as I instantly recognised the intro.
“Roses by Finn Askew?!” I asked with excitement. Taeyong nodded his head happily as he began to sing the lyrics, bringing his hands up and vibing to the music.
I laughed as I watched him sing and have fun. I decided to let go and sing as well, grooving my body as I finished my last spoon of ice cream.
Throughout the whole song, the two of us didn’t stop dancing in our seats. I constantly laughed at the weird movements and actions he did while we nodded our heads to the soothing music that we both loved.
Taeyong’s singing talent also shined through as he sang the song. I was definitely impressed by how much of a good singer he was. “I didn’t know you could sing like that, Taeyong.” I complimented as another song began to play in the background.
“It’s just a hidden talent most people don’t know. But I’m more to rapping.” Taeyong said with a shrug, placing his now empty cup beside him.
“Actually you’re one of the few people that know I rap.” Taeyong added.
I giggled in response. “I’m honoured to be one of the lucky few. Send me an audio of you rapping sometime. I’d love to hear it.” Taeyong chuckled lowly.
I quicly glance at my phone to check the time. I realised it was getting late and that I shouldn’t be out any longer. I looked at Taeyong, wanting to ask if he could take me home.
He turned to me and gave me a smile. A smile that I was suddenly to drawn into. The way his eyes formed a thin line as his lips curled up. He looked perfect and could make anyone swoon. He was cute.
“I know it’s getting late but can we just stay here a little while longer? I’m trying to savour this atmosphere.” I whispered.
Taeyong nodded and handed me his phone out of the blue. I raised an eyebrow at his sudden action. “Play any song you want. We can stay here as long as you want to.” Taeyong said in a gentle voice.
With that, I spent at least a few hours just sitting at the roadside with Taeyong as I swayed my head to peaceful songs that fit the mood. Taeyong was kind enough to let me play whatever song I liked even though I know there’s a few he wouldn’t know. Surprisingly, Taeyong and I had the same taste in music, which made us talk sbout our favourite artists etc.
I realised how quickly I got to know Taeyong. In a matter of a few hours, it felt like I instantly clicksd with him and I somehow felt as though I’ve known him for a long time. This feeling with Taeyong was refreshing and new. I liked it without a doubt.
Once we decided it was actually getting late, we called it a nighy and have Taeyong drive me home. When we arrived at my apartment, I got off and took off the helmet, passing it to Taeyong as he got off his motorbike as well to put the helmet back in the trunk.
“It was nice hanging out with you. I actually had fun for the first time in a long time.” I said after Taeyong closed the lid of the trunk and turned to me.
“Just call me if you need more ice cream.” Taeyong winked playfully. I took my phone out for him to put his number in. Once that was done, I stood in front of Taeyong, wanting to wait for him to drive off but he didn’t seem to move, leaning back against the motorbike.
“Aren’t you going to go?” I asked.
“I’m waiting for you to head inside so I know you got home safely.” Taeyong mentioned casually.
I chuckled and shook my head, nodding before making my way to the entrance. I turned around and flashed him one last smile and a small wave before heading in.
“Oi! Why the fuck are you home so late?! Did you know how worried I was?! Yuta told me Taeyong was going to send you home!” Damn, I just had to come home with Winwin shouting at me.
“I went out with him for a bit! And can you shut up it’s late at night and you’ll wake up the neighbours.”
I made my way to my room only to have Winwin following behind me and entering as well. “You shouldn’t be staying out late with a guy you barely know. Who knows what could happen to you?”
I took out my belongings from my sling bag and hung it behind my door, scoffing loudly.
“Oh so now you’re worrying? I bet you were out with Haeun and came home late as well.” I fought back.
“I came home earlier than you.”
“Taeyong is Yuta’s friend. And I do know him. So shut it and get out of my face. I’m tired.” I lashed out, pushing Winwin out of my room and slamming the door shut.
I plopped myself onto my bed as I took in the comfort of laying down on the most comfortable space I’ll ever know.
As I played with my phone, I suddenly got a text from an unknown number.
Unknown number: hey it’s Taeyong. you dont have to reply since i bet you’ll be sleeping by now but hope you made it home safely.
I let out an “Ah...” now knowing this was Taeyong’s number and saving it into my contacts.
Y/n: oMg chIlL i got home just fine thanks to you. hope you made it home safe as well
the ice cream man: i did, dont worry. i hope i got to get rid of any bitter feelings you had. goodnight :)
I left him on seen as I placed my phone screen down beside me and looked up the ceiling.
The night I spent with Taeyong somehow felt, magical. Like Cinderella at the ball. I had a lot of fun with him and I was able to let myself be free. Surprisingly, Winwin wasn’t on my mind for a second while I was with Taeyong. I only wished to continue being Cinderella for more than one night as I craved to hang out with Taeyong.
But also, the advice that Taeyong gave me continuously resonated in my head.
Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad to let go after all.
On the very same night, Winwin had to face his feelings as well.
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“What’s your real reason for going out with Haeun?” Yuta asked as he walked to the living room where Winwin was at and taking a seat beside him. Winwin took a sip of water from the cups that Yuta brought from the kitchen. “Because I like her.”
“Now’s not the time to fuck with me, Winwin. I know it’s something else.” 
Winwin exhaled sharply and fighting back with a, “What else is there? I like Haeun, so I asked her out.” Yuta scoffed and slammed his cup down on the table, his eyes narrowed down to Winwin.
“How long are you going to keep this up? What are you trying to do? Hide your feelings? Use Haeun to distract yourself from her? How low can you get?”
Winwin took in a deep breath and rubbed one hand down his face in frustration. “I told you. I like her as a friend.”
“No.” Yuta replied instantly with a stern tone. “You think I don’t know you? You don’t think I see you staring at her during class? Or that one time where you ranted to me about how she went out with a group of guys from our class.” Yuta got closer to Winwin and he wasn’t fazed at all, determined to maintain this eyecontact that was filled to the brim with tension.
“So? It’s because I care for her. Are friends not suppose to do that?” Winwin retorted back, leaning in as he bored his eyes into Yuta’s. 
 “She’s right. You really are delusional. I don’t know why I bothered trying.” Yuta downed the rest of his drink and stood up, placing the cup on the table. “Well, she told me I should just make you realise it yourself.” Yuta bent down to meet Winwin’s eye level.
“And you better pray that by the time you do, it won’t be too late.”
With that, Yuta grabbed his belongings and headed to the door, exiting and slamming the door shut. Winwin blinked his eyes a few times and stared at the door.
To be honest, Winwin didn’t understand what just happened. A lot of questions popped up in his mind after Yuta left. What did he meant by delusional? What was he delusional about? What did he have to realise for himself? And what did she have to do with all this? 
The longer he sat there in deep thought with analysing everything that Yuta said, Yuta was right in some way. The fact that he gets concerned for her with whatever action she did, but ended up not doing anything about it. He stared at her in class to make sure she wouldn’t fall asleep. He was overprotective about her being around guys because he didn’t want guy to be with her but himself and Yuta. The problem is, why did Yuta talked to him about it as if it was something else? Isn’t this what you do with your friends?
Winwin’s eyes immediately darted back to the front door where he heard the shuffling of footsteps coming. He knew it was her. The moment she opened the door, one last questioned surfaced in his mind.
“What’s too late?”
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Little by little, one ice cream date at a time, I began to get a lot more closer to Taeyong. He never lets down an ice cream date and everytime I was with him, he gave me a place where I could go away from my sufferings of my complex love situation. It was as if he gave me a way to escape. Just by being with him, I felt that I didn’t need to suffer.
Our ice cream dates evolved into doing other things like exploring the city, or trying out restaurants we’ve never been to before. To be honest, I would do anything if it meant being with Taeyong. He really was like my very own escape world, where I could run away from the only problem I’m currently facing. Which was Winwin.
Since our exams were coming up, our dates naturally became centered around studying. Today was no different, going to the study cafe that we’ve been to a couple of times.
We decided to sit at the corner of the cafe so that we’ll be able to concentrate better. Me being the relatively smarter one, I had to tutor Taeyong. It was a good thing that he wasn’t one to slack on his studies. He’s avarage in terms of academics but he was willing to try and get better. It made it easy for me to tutor him since he would try his best to understand and stay attentive.
Though, I couldn’t help but notice him stealing quick glances of me whenever I wasn’t looking at him. Does he perhaps like me or something?
“I want coffee.” Taeyong groaned out, pouting cutely in front of me as he desperately asked for a break. I chuckled at his adorable nature and ruffled his hair. “A fifteen minute break, alright? I’ll buy you coffee.”
I was about to stand up from my seat when Taeyong gripped onto my wrist and sat me back down. “I’ll do it myself. Do you want your favourite drink?” I smiled and nodded my head eagerly.
Taeyong rose from his seat. Before he walked off, he bent down and placed a quick peck on my cheek and ran off in a matter of seconds. Taeyong turned around and flashed his cheeky playful smile with mouthing, “That was intentional.”
I giggled and waved a hand in the air, signalling him to turn to the cashier who was waiting for him to order. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel something after that small kiss.
Over time as our friendship grew, Taeyong became more affectionate towards me. He was a natural at it. Without me knowing, he ended up holding hands and giving each other kisses on the cheek of forehead. It made my heart race every time and he would tease me whenever I blushed. Of course I did the same to him.
A little while later he came back with the drinks, placing them on the table before taking his seat next to me.
We resumed studying till I heard the bell above the door rang, signalling that someone has came in. I didn’t really care about it as the music from Taeyong’s phone played on one side of the earpiece that I wore was loud. I then however heard a very familiar voice.
Looking up, I saw Winwin and Haeun standing by the counter to order. With creases formed on my forehead with eyes that were glued to the two of them, Taeyong noticed my expression and looked at where my gaze was at. “I’m assuming that’s the guy you like for three years?” I nodded with a defeated sigh.
“We can go if you want. I’m afraid it’ll distract you.” Taeyong whispered. Right as I was about to reply, Winwin and Haeun turned around with their drinks as they tried finding a seat. While Winwin’s eyes scanned through the area, he made eye contact with me, causing him to give a confused look until Haeun went up to kiss his cheek and urging him to sit at the spot she found for them.
I bowed my head to greet him while Winwin did the same. I turned back to Taeyong after that awkward encounter. “It’s fine. It’ll be a hassle for us to waste time to go somewhere else.” Taeyong shrugged and nodded his head, resuming to look at the question in front of him.
We were studying for quite some time and I started to feel my adrenaline to continue studying slowly disappearing. With my chin on the palm of my hand, I tried to close my eyes to let them rest for a moment while letting out a tired sigh. Suddenly, I felt Taeyong’s hand guiding my head to rest on his shoulder.
I moved my head around to try and find a comfortable position, which ended up with my head being buried in the crook of Taeyong’s neck. I sniffed the strong scent of his perfume that I oh so adore. “You always smell good.” I complimented.
Taeyong chuckled in response. “I’ll continue to smell good if it means that you’ll rest your head on me more.” I tilted my head up with my chin still resting on his shoulder as I looked up. Taeyong brought his head down to make eye contact with me, leaning in slowly and kissing my forehead ever so gently.
“Go sleep. You need some rest.” With a hand slowly snaking around my waist, I got comfortable with Taeyong’s embrace. Before I closed my eyes, I absentmindedly looked towards where Winwin was sitting. For some reason, he gave me a look of anger, with a tensed body and clenched fist on the table and eyes lit with fire. It disappeared almost instantly when Haeun called out to him, forcing him to look back at her with a wide grin.
What the fuck was she doing with Taeyong? When has she gotten so clingy with him? How are they that close in the span of a few months? Questions like these circled Winwin’s mind throughout the time he was at the study cafe with Haeun.
Oddly, he couldn’t get his eyes and mind off her and Taeyong. He observed their very move closely. He felt like raging every time Taeyong even placed a finger on her. You could imagine how Winwin felt when Taeyong had his arm around her waist and her head on his shoulder.
She said they were just friends. But Winwin couldn’t believe that claim at all. Friends are not so touchy like this, right? As much as he wanted to agree to that question, he couldn’t. Because that’s what he’s been doing with her as well. Being physically close while still being friends. He just never imagined she’d do it with someone else.
Winwin knew for a fact that what he was feeling was pure jealousy. It shocked him due to how mad he could get at this.
After his study session with Haeun, he went straight back home. Realising you weren’t there, he assumed you went out with Taeyong again. He rushed into his room and threw himself onto his bed, placing a pillow over his face and screaming into it.
Winwin threw the pillow beside him and huffed, looking up at the ceiling. Once again he was deep in thought as he stared at the ceiling. This time, he was fighting a war in his head as he tried his best not to admit his feelings. The pride he held to deny it. But he couldn’t hold on anymore. Allowing his wall to crumble down as he came face to face with his true feelings. He decided to call Yuta to ask for help.
The moment Yuta picked up the phone, Winwin said, “Okay you’re right. I can’t beat around the fucking bush anymore. I like her. I like her a lot. I denied my feelings for her because I didn’t want our friendship to be at risk. I only used Haeun to get over her but I can’t. She’s on my mind even though I’m with Haeun.”
It took awhile for him to hear an answer from the other end of the line, only silence and breathing could be heard till Yuta responded with a, “Tell her that once you get into college. Right now, she’s probably studying hard for the high school leaving examinations. It would be best to stay out of her way and focus on your studies.” With that, Yuta hung up.
Winwin was left with his thoughts, unable to sleep till three in the morning because all he could think about was her. Whatever Yuta said the other day now made sense. She’s liked him for so long but she never confessed. He realised how dumb and delusional he was to not see that someone liked him right under his nose but he didn’t know it, brushing it off like it meant nothing because he didn’t want to admit his feelings for her. Fuck his pride and delusional ass.
As the days of the exams are coming closer than ever, Winwin tried his best to stay focus and study to the best of his abilities. Though he still couldn’t get her off his mind. It wasn’t the main thing he thought about but it was always hidden in the folds of his thoughts. It sometimes made him malfunction a little as well.
“Sicheng are you serious?! This is basic shit I thought you know about this!” Yuta scolded as he tapped in pen on the table and pointed to the question that Winwin answered incorrectly. Yuta sighed and covered his eyes with a hand for a moment before turning to Winwin.
“You aren’t working right today. You good, bro?” Yuta asked with concern. Winwin frowned and ran a hand down his face. “Is it that bad?”
Yuta clicked his tongue and places his pen down, leaning against the table.
“You’re one of the smartest students. Your brain works like a computer, like clockwork. Yet you just can’t seem to think straight because you’re thinking of her, right?”
It took awhile for Winwin to answer before he nodded slowly and gulping. “I can’t do anytning about it now. I don’t want to disrupt her studies. It’s fucking killing me...” Winwin laid his head on the table and covered himself with his arms, earning a big smack in the back by Yuta that made him jolted back up.
“Let’s forget it for awhile. Stay focus. We need to get into college, alright? Come on, let’s get something to drink before continuing.”
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A year later.
I finally made it through your high school leaving examination and got accepted into the college I signed up for. Surpringly, Taeyong made it as well. Despite us having different majors, we did share a common elective for History.
“Today’s class was fun.” I said sarcastically, waving my hands in the air lazily. Taeyong laughed and shoved his hands into his pockets. “Very.” He commented.
Today we decided to stay back and hang out in the music studio where the music majors use to record their singing etc. Taeyong promised me to play me one of the new songs he wrote.
The studio was located on the first floor of the campus and it was near the entrance as well. Basically the window of the studio showed fhe streets and people could walk by and see whoever’s inside. Well, only if they bent because the window is half the size of a regular one due to the studio being a little lower than ground floor.
We chilled in there for awhile. With me laying on Taeyong’s lap while the two of us were on our phones. I got bored of reading the news on twitter so I turned off my put and looked out at Taeyong. “Play your song now!” I whined. He immediately placed his phone away and looked down on me.
“Okay, okay chill!” Taeyong shouted out, leaning in to kiss my forehead. I got off his lap and allowed him to set up to play his new song.
He got inside the recording booth and told me to sit down and wear the headphones. I followed his instructions, though I was confused when he told me to press a button that would play the song but I got around that.
“Can you hear me?” Taeyong asked, placing his mouth near the microphone in front of him. I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, proceeding to press the button that would start the song.
The first few beats of the song already got my hyped up as I began to nod my head to the music while looking at Taeyong while a bright smile. He smiled back before starting to rap. I was intrigued instantly and started vibing to his voice.
As the continued on with the song, I couldn’t help myself but stand up to dance. He saw me dancing and looked to me while he sang into the microphone, starting to move to the beat as well.
I laughed happily as I started to make weird movements which triggered Taeyong to fall off his rhythm a little and laugh, picking up right where he left off soon after.
Absentmindedly, I glanced sideways to the window and saw a pair of legs facing towards the window. Like I said, since the studio was a little lower than ground floor, the window only showed a small portion of the streets.
To see a pair of legs there was weird. Whoever it was, they stayed there for quite some time since I didn’t see them leave until Taeyong finished the song.
Taeyong took off the headphones he had on and got out of the recording booth. “So how was that?”
I immediately ran up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him close and placing a warm peck on his lips. “Perfect as usual, Mister Lee Taeyong.” I ran a hand through his hair and giggled with glee.
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Winwin’s POV.
I stood there as I heard her laugh. The unique signature laugh that I once used to hear everyday. The one that never failed to brighten my day no matter the situation. The familiarity of it brought me home, but at the same time it brought a different feeling. A hurtful one that made my heart ache. To know that the one that made her laugh wasn’t me.
I couldn’t stop regretting not telling her how I feel. I planned to tell her after the exams, but life moved too quickly for the two of us and we eventually went our separate ways. A year now has passed as I still held my feelings for her close to my heart. I understood how she felt now. Not being able to tell her how I feel for a whole year. How did she survive liking me with an additional two years.
I know I can’t have her back. She was able to let go of me and be together with someone that made her happy instead of the burden I made her go through. But at the very least, I hope to make her happy one last time before I disappear from her sight forever.
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One night, I received a text from Winwin. Of course I still had his number because I didn’t see a reason to delete it. We naturally went our separate ways due to college and all. The text said to meet him at the big tree beside our high school. I found it odd. Considering how it was ten in the night. I figured maybe he needed someone to talk to in person.
“Sicheng!” I called out to him, waving my hand up in the air slightly. Winwin waved back as I took a seat next to him. “What’d you call me out here for? It’s pretty late as well.” I glanced at the time on my phone before looking to Winwin.
“I asked you to come because I have something to tell you.” Winwin said, looking down and fidgeting with his thumbs. I grew nervous as I didn’t know what to expect.
“Um... What is it?” I asked hesitantly, tilting my head slightly to look at his face that he hid by looking down.
After a moment of silence, he finally cleared his throat as looked up, staring deep into my eyes.
“I liked you.” He whispered.
Did I hear that correctly? I couldn’t have, right?
“I really did. I liked you.” Winwin repeated himself when he realised he didn’t get a reponse.
I gulped as I could only stare back in disbelief. The words I wanted to hear for years. Why did I feel different from the way I expected to react from it.
I sighed, licking my bottom lip. “It’s been so long, Sicheng. Saying it now... I don’t feel anything from it anymore.” I replied reluctantly.
“I know. I just felt the need to tell you. You’re happy with Taeyong. I understand that.”
Another moment of silence (longer silence this time) filled the air. The two of us looked up into the sky, getting lost in its darkness.
“Just wanted you to know that I did like you back in high school. I was just dumb to realise it myself.” Winwin added on with a soft laugh. The hurtful kind of laugh.
I punched him lightly in the arm, making him look at me with a surprised face. “You really were.” I whispered.
“I actually got a dance gig at America.”
I widened my eyes as my mouth gaped open slightly. “Really?!” I gasped. He nodded.
“It also meant that I’m moving to America in a few days.” Winwin glanced sideway before sighing.
I placed a hand on his back, rubbing it up and down slowly. “You’ll do great there. I’ll keep in contact.”
“I’m happy I get to tell you about my feelings and talk to you before I go.”
I reached my arms out and pulled him into a hug. I suddenly hear him sobbing into my shirt, damping it a little as his sobs were muffled. I brought my hand up to his hair, caressing it gently.
“I’m happy I got to love you for once in my life. Despite it being tiring, it did make me who I am today.”
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promiseled · 2 years
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// . I found myself spontaneously cleaning a bit while waiting for something to load, and for some reason my brain kept going back to this ask. Thinking on it, I should have expanded on why Dion can be so hard to write (insecurities regarding the character himself aside).
Kinda long, so bear with me.
If you’re a very old mutual, you’d know I’ve been in and out of the JJBARPC for a long time, late 2018 I believe is when I first entered the scene. There’s a whole lot I don’t actually remember, but the thing that made me leave the first time was a duplicate who, upon me approaching them about leaving me on read for a few months when it came to plotting, threatened to do s/h and proceeded to make a vague on me and running to an old FF mutual of mine about me “stealing their followers” upon making Dion’s first blog --- all because they wanted to be the only Dio around despite interacting with other duplicates and hardly being active as it was.
As you can guess, this was a factor in making me delete his blog and retreat back to the FFRPC, and I would proceed to do it five-ish more times due to various reasons (the latest being early 2021 when he didn’t even have a blog).
It seemed that whenever I got muse for Dion, I had gotten grief for it, whether it be by my own volition (that I’ve since grown from) or other people and it often killed the muse to where I wanted nothing to do with him anymore. Which, really hurt as I love Jojo and Dio is about the only character I really obsess over frequently.
Fast forward to like June-July 2021, I figure out I’m trans. I somehow have Dion on the brain. Dion is now my outlet. I do a complete rehaul of his backstory and manage to coax my friend into making a blog for her DIO since she was recovering from an incident earlier last year I was part of and was afraid of ever touching the character / RPC again.
To get to the point, the hardest part about writing this muse? The fear that Dion will be ruined all over again just because nobody communicates and jumps to assumptions, or they have personal beef with me and I end up losing what little friends I have left (because I’ve lost a lot, believe me). So, I just set myself to low activity and often times wait for people to come to me instead of going around willy-nilly like I used to.
This pains me however, as I know it limits my interactions to a point where I refuse to step into RPC discords. As I’ve said in my tags on that ask too, I am a ball of anxiety, but its not even just because of my anxiety. I’ve been battered and beaten by the rp scene to a point where I often ask myself is this even worth it anymore?
So, I suppose that’s it. I appreciate those who do stick around this blog and tolerate all the on/off OOC posting and sporadic IC posts. I’m really trying.
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hrodvitnon · 3 years
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Post-Abraxas timeline GvK scenario - Continuity and thoughts
Continuing from my review of ‘Abraxas’ new chapter on FF .net; I thought I’d just contribute some thoughts I’ve had about how 'Abraxas’ would affect events, mythos and continuity (ways in which Abraxasverse has already deviated and diverged from Monsterverse’s post-KOTM canon and how that would impact on GvK, that sort of thing), if the GvK crisis DOES occur in some form or another canonically in Abraxasverse. Sorry it’s late, it took a lot longer to write this than I thought it would. ^^’)
This post by me is for making pointers for consideration about diverges from Monsterverse canon that the main 'Abraxas’ story has already made and how they’ll impact if a GvK scenario occurred in Abraxasverse, though I’ll also take this opportunity to share some of my own thoughts and ideas about it beyond that. :)
So, down to it:
—-
(1) Where/How/Would a Ghidorah skull come in in regards to Mechagodzilla? It’s been established in 'Abraxas’ that Abraxasverse Ghidorah’s severed heads will fight off necrosis with their healing factor and will just slowly regrow the rest of Ghidorah; that severed heads can suck the power out of any electrical systems they come in contact with to feed themselves; and that humans being too close to Ghidorah heads’ telepathy for too long is a bit like mixing lead poisoning with an over-winter stay in the Overlook even if you don’t actually sit in the head’s skull. All three of which are divergent to the implications of the Ghidorah-skull in GvK. Maybe there’s adaptation deviation in the Abraxasverse GvK scenario, where Apex use the Children of Zmei instead of a Ghidorah skull to pilot Mechagodzilla and it’s them that makes the Mecha become a sentient psychopath?
(1.5) This is just my thoughts and ideas: if it’s still a Ghidorah skull piloting MechaG instead of some of the Children of Zmei: maybe in the four years after 'Abraxas’, Ghidorah comes back again and is killed again and the skull comes from this most recent defeat, with Apex using a chemical to suppress the skull’s healing factor and assuming that was enough for them to control the evil triple-mind inside the bone. (Although after how big and dramatic that climax chapter was, I like to think that Ghidorah is now either gone for good or it’ll be a very long time, as in at least a decade in-universe, before Ghidorah ever resurges directly.) Or, maybe there’s a creepier origin story for Apex’s Ghidorah skull: Apex unearthed the skull in a dig which reveals it to be thousands of years old, and when Monarch find out after everything, they’re puzzled about why a decapitated Ghidorah head just decomposed and became a semi-sentient hunk of bone, instead of regrowing the rest of Ghidorah like San’s old head did or re-attaching itself to other severed pieces to speed up Ghidorah’s resurrection from a pre-Antarctica ancient battle. Godzilla doesn’t know anything about the skull, and neither does San. What’s creepier, Monarch’s analysis of Apex’s Ghidorah skull indicates that while the skull’s structure is the same, its DNA actually isn’t entirely identical to Ghidorah’s, as if the skull encountered something which changed its genetic makeup. A thought occurs to Viv 'n’ San: San’s decapitation at Isla de Mara probably wasn’t the first time a shed skin got split off from Ghidorah, in fact San remembers that when there was more than one shed skin each time Ghidorah died in the past, they would usually signal each-other and combine to speed up Ghidorah’s resurrection… but there were times, on alien worlds that Ghidorah conquered, when it just wouldn’t care for these shed skins before returning to space since it wouldn’t be around on the planet for them to challenge it. What if more Ghidorah clones grew from the severed pieces it left littered on the dead alien worlds once the main Ghidorah left? Godzilla, San or other Titans would surely know if a Ghidorah-clone ever set foot on Earth while they were alive - does that mean the Ghidorah skull’s owner came to Earth and died before the still-living Titans were born and before the main Ghidorah that San came from arrived on Earth? And what killed the skull’s owner? Why is it’s DNA altered: did it encounter something, on ancient Earth or in space, that changed its genetic makeup? :o Does this mean there are more creatures like it, born from Ghidorah’s remains littered on dead alien worlds, who are still amongst the stars and who might one day find their way to Earth?
(2) I’m wondering who will be in charge of Monarch when Godzilla starts rampaging. If Mark rejoins Monarch and it’s still him who’s in charge, hopefully his character development during 'Abraxas’ will mean that even if his role doesn’t change much, he’ll be a lot less of an ass now than he was in GvK, and he won’t be the same fantasy-forbidding father that he apparently was to Madison in the GvK novelisation.
(3) One major thing that’s on my mind every time I think about this: in GvK, a lot of the conflict came from the humans not understanding why Godzilla’s attacking; and Viv 'n’ San as a Titan with EVP can communicate with both humans and Godzilla. So the only way I can imagine the whole Mechagodzilla crisis wouldn’t be over in time to prevent MechaG’s activation with Maia never getting near the Hollow Earth energy source, (unless there’s more adaptation deviation) is if Viv 'n’ San are on vacay in the Hollow Earth when the Titan rampage kicks off, and therefore aren’t topside to explain to Monarch and the world that Godzilla can hear Ghidorah’s call at every place he attacks. (Who knows, maybe in Abraxasverse, Viv 'n’ San will run into Kong and Team Kong in the Hollow Earth, then follow them topside in time for Mechagodzilla’s emergence - heh, I can imagine Viv 'n’ San’s “Oh, for fuck’s sake!!” reaction to a big, cybernetic Godzilla-Terminator bursting out of a mountain with Ghidorah’s bio-acoustics howling out of it.) And on top of this, there’s also the main 'Abraxas’ story hinting that the old Bone Singers’ ways of communicating with Titans are going to start coming back soon in Abraxasverse among the human population, making it less likely humanity will be as completely in the dark about Godzilla’s rampage as they were in GvK…
(4) I’m not sure where the internet rumour that Godzilla in Monsterverse canon sent the Titans back into hibernation because he sensed the Ghidorah skull came from - from what I’ve read, in 'Godzilla Dominion’ and the GvK novelisation, Godzilla explicitly sent all the Titans back to stasis because keeping them in line while they were awake was too much for canon-Godzilla to keep managing in the long-term, unlike with Abraxas-Godzilla. Maybe the other Titans will globally participate in Godzilla’s rampage looking for the Ghidorah-piece that’s calling out to any Titan listening, and the fact it’s every benevolent Titan that’s rampaging instead of just Godzilla will proportionately fan the flames of public panic and enable Apex’s role to go unnoticed. This could actually go quite a long way to make it understandable why the public are so blind to the pattern with Apex-facilities that Godzilla is attacking; if over a dozen Titans rampaging on humanity’s cities has the public too whipped up into a panic to think straight - especially since from what we’ve seen in 'Abraxas’ so far and from what TVTropes says about the GvK novelisation’s expansion, it looks like the public generally in Abraxasverse are a bit more humbled and concerned about the Titans’ environmental importance and a bit more common-sensed after KOTM’s events than they were in GvK’s continuation. Anyway, frankly I’m hoping an Abraxasverse GvK scenario will retcon or at the very least downplay the KOTM Titans going back into hibernation - I’m in agreement with TVTropes that turning KOTM’s humans-coexisting-with-awakened-Titans setup into an aborted arc and largely letting the Titans-environmentalism thing fade into obscurity was a crappy move on the Monsterverse writers’ part.
(5) Mechagodzilla’s pilot. With how Abraxas-Ren has already interacted with the Titans and shown his father’s respect for nature, I can’t see that character going down the same path as the Monsterverse-canon Ren did. There’s that idea a Nonnie suggested that Ren could get mind-raped by Ghidorah if it comes back (or maybe by another psychic evil Titan like Gigan ;)) so Ren becomes like canon-Ren - but after Chapter 17, I feel it would be better if canon-Ren, who’s stood apart from his canon counterpart and become his own endearing character in 'Abraxas’ already, goes down his own unique path. There’s also the possibility that Abraxas-Ren could be an unwitting pawn to Apex who doesn’t know what they’re really up to, but I doubt Simmons, if he’s anything like in Monsterverse canon, could ever fully pull the wool over nature-respecting Abraxas-Ren’s eyes. If MechaG still has a pilot with a relevant role, I think the pilot should be someone else. Maybe it’s Maia, who has a bit more brains in Abraxasverse than she did in GvK. Or maybe it’s an OC.
(5.5). An idea in the latter camp I had: maybe, as a mirror-world like flip to canon-Ren; whereas in Monsterverse canon it was Serizawa’s son who was MechaG’s pilot, in Abraxasverse it’s instead the OC son of Admiral Stenz - the son who agrees with his late father about killing the Titans to prevent human casualties, but who is much more willing to murder thousands for the so-called greater good and is crossing lines that his father never would’ve crossed. Or alternatively, maybe Stenz Jr. is a bitch-in-sheep’s-clothing; he expressly disagrees with his late father’s approach to handling the Titans which almost handed the world to Ghidorah on a silver platter in 2019, and he believes humans and Titans should live together… but instead of seeking a fair coexistence, Stenz Jr. thinks the Titans should be humanity’s slaves and Sentient Batteries, replenishing the world to benefit human civilisation whilst being penned by humans who dominate them with MechaG and being harvested for any resource goodies their bodies hold.
(6) Continuing from my pointer about how the human public in Abraxasverse seem to be a bit more common-sensed generally in Abraxasverse: I’m guessing this means Apex probably won’t have the military’s under-the-table support that they had in the GvK novelisation (according to TVTropes), and instead Apex’s corporate conspiracy will rely more on underground paramilitaries and other illegal groups - including groups with anti-Titan sympathies - to get the materials and resources they need to build Mechagodzilla. OR: maybe in Abraxasverse, MechaG wasn’t built in secret by Apex; maybe in reference to your old Tumblr shenanigans about Vivienne and Serizawa using MechaG, Monarch started building MechaG so humanity could contribute in a fair and meaningful way to fate-of-the-world Titan brawls alongside Godzilla and Mothra, but Apex stole MechaG (maybe Apex used the havoc and confusion of a Titan rampage instigated by Ghidorah-remains or the Children of Zmei calling out) and they installed the Ghidorah/C.O.Z.-parts into the Mecha thinking they could control it.
(7) If this scenario does occur, considering how awesome Monsterverse-MechaG was; maybe in an Abraxasverse scenario, instead of being killed fifteen minutes after he’s born, MechaG will have the smarts to flee once Kong and Godzilla team up and the odds turn against MechaG, leading to MechaG being a longer-lived threat? Maybe he’ll even recognise Viv 'n’ San are part-Ghidorah and take an interest in the Ghidorah half of them, in contrast to Ghidorah’s interest in the human half during 'Abraxas’?
(8) The destruction of Skull Island. It was caused in Monsterverse-canon by Camazotz manipulating Ghidorah’s storm. Assuming this still happens in Abraxasverse, wouldn’t Monarch contact Viv 'n’ San and make them aware of what’s happened (if Viv 'n’ San don’t find out on their own) so they can use their Ghidorah-derived, storm-harnessing powers to try to reverse what Camazotz did? After all, Monarch would probably be thinking, since the storm will kill all non-protected life on the island if it stays that way, even if Viv 'n’ San’s attempt to change the change goes wrong, it can’t be any worse for the island than if they didn’t try. Of course, there’s still the real possibility Viv 'n’ San’s attempt could make no difference or even end up making the storm worse for the climate of places beyond the island.
So, yeah, those are just my thoughts on how a GvK scenario could occur in Abraxasverse, and the mythos and continuity considerations involved. :)
JAYSUS CHRIST LOOK AT THIS GOLDMINE!
Whew! So many possibilities and great ideas, thanks for sharing them! Who knows what the future brings, but what I can say is that, whenever the hell I start working on it, Chapter 18/Epilogue won’t be nearly as huge as 17 was (which was over 22 THOUSAND WORDS HOW THE FUCK), so if it’s okay maybe I’d like to leave one or two nods to this list for the AbraxasVerse take on GvK…
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