#I’m still sad about the ending of this game it’s been literal months since I finished it
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true luck's kiss
pairing: luke castellan x daughter of tyche!reader
summary: luke is stuck with a streak of bad luck. what better way to get rid of it than with a child of tyche?
a/n: so this was supposed to come out on st patrick's day but unfortunately im the slowest writer in the world and ive also been doing nothing but watch basketball because we sleep in may. anyways here's a short fluffy blurb because it is getting way too sad in here with my hurricane fics lmao
wc: 1.2k
warning(s): none, this is all fluff. i know crazy coming from me
You grimaced as you pulled the arrow back. Sweat dripped down your forehead and you itched to brush it away, but you ignored the urge as you let out a deep breath.
“Just like that.” Kimia nodded as she stopped behind you. “Perfect angle—now let it fly.”
You did, and the weight lifted off your shoulders once the arrow embedded itself in the center of the target.
“Ending on a bullseye,” she said with a grin. “Great work.”
“Only way to do it,” you said, smiling at her. “Am I a worthy opponent yet?”
She chuckled and patted your shoulder as she moved on. “Maybe one day you’ll be as good as Cabin Seven. Today’s not that day.”
You shook your head with a laugh and took your quiver off your back. “Keep telling yourself that!”
A bow and arrow had become your weapon of choice since the moment you stepped foot into camp, and you’d gotten good over the years—so much so that it was a surprise when your mother claimed you. One day, though, you would get an Apollo kid to admit you were better than them.
You’d just finished putting all your equipment away, and when you turned back, you were met with a mess of brown curls and shining eyes.
“Luke,” you said, pleasantly surprised. “Didn’t know you were in archery today.”
He shook his head. “I’m not. I didn’t come here for archery—I came here for you.”
You chuckled as you gestured with your head, and he got the hint as you started walking together. “How forward of you.”
“It’s a living,” he said with a smile. “How was practice?”
“And small talk?” You pressed a hand to your heart and shook your head. “It must be my lucky day.”
Luke’s smile widened as he ran a nervous hand through his hair. “That’s what I came to talk to you about, actually. I do wanna hear about your day, though.”
You shrugged. “It was boring. Killed it at archery, nearly got killed on the climbing wall—I was gonna head back to the cabin to chill for a few hours before dinner, but it looks like you’ve taken that slot.”
He chuckled. “So you are free?”
“I’ve always got some time to listen to Luke Castellan,” you mused. “What’ve you got?”
“I’m cursed,” Luke said.
You stopped in your tracks and looked him right in the eye. “...Cursed.”
He nodded. “I know it sounds stupid, but it’s gotta be true. I mean, nothing is going right for me. I’ve been off my groove with my sword, I’ve lost every canoe race, I nearly burnt my eyebrows off last time I was in the forge, and my team hasn’t won a game of capture the flag this entire month—”
“I know,” you interrupted. “I’m in your cabin.”
“So you know how bad my luck’s been lately!” he exclaimed with a gesture. “It— it was embarrassing, but now it’s just pathetic.”
“You know I can’t fix it, right?” you said wryly. “I’m not my mom.”
“That’s what Annabeth said,” Luke mumbled. “But— but I’ve seen the way you live—you’ve got luck on tap! Your strawberries are always the ripest, you somehow find drachmas on the ground, and your volleyball serves are better than anyone’s.”
“I play varsity back home,” you said. “No luck needed.”
“Still,” he emphasized, “you’re naturally lucky. You’ve literally got it in your DNA, and I’m fresh out of it. That’s gotta be worth something.”
“Not really.” You crossed your arms. “So what do you think I can do about this?”
Luke shrugged. “I dunno. Say something?"
You barely managed to stifle a laugh. “Like what?”
“Pray to Tyche,” he said. “You’re her only kid here—she’s gotta be listening.”
You bit back your smile as you shook your head. “Fine. Just for you.”
“Thank you,” Luke sighed, watching with bated breath as you cleared your throat, closed your eyes, and pressed your hands together.
“Tyche, dearest mother, goddess of luck and fortune—I ask you to shine on Luke Castellan on this day. Smile upon my friend and break his very real curse. If you do this for him, in return, he will do all of my cabin chores for the next month.”
When you opened your eyes, Luke looked quite unimpressed. “Very funny.”
“Feel any luckier?” you asked with a smile as you started walking again.
“I don’t think so,” he said, falling into step with you once more. “Especially because you’re putting conditions in your prayers. I didn’t know we could do that.”
“My mom has a sense of humor,” you mused. “And I also think I might be her favorite.”
“Not all of us have that privilege,” he said wryly. Suddenly, his eyes lit up, and he grabbed your arm to stop you.
“I think I’ve got it,” Luke said. “How about a kiss?”
Your eyebrows rose, but you couldn’t help showing your amusement. “Now it’s a kiss that’ll break your curse?”
He shrugged. “Like I said—you’ve got luck in your DNA. Maybe you could pass that along.”
“Really,” you said dryly.
“I’ve kinda tried everything,” he said. “A kiss from a lucky and pretty girl is far from the worst option.”
You chuckled. “You really know how to flatter ‘em.”
“I try,” he grinned. “Are you up to it?”
You bit your lip as you looked at Luke. Obviously, he was attractive—you’d always held an appreciation for his curls and the way they would constantly get in his eyes. He cut an impressive figure from constant, year-round training, and he even made the camp shirt look good. And gods, that damned smile got you.
There were worse things than kissing you, and there were certainly worse things than kissing Luke Castellan.
“Alright,” you sighed, taking a step forward. “Pucker up, Castellan.”
Before you could really doubt yourself, you leaned forward and kissed him. You weren’t really expecting to actually… like it.
Your first thought was that Luke’s lips were softer than they had any right to be. Your second thought was that his cologne was the scent always floating around the Hermes cabin. You didn’t really mind, though.
Luke gently put his hand on the back of your head to keep you there, and the moment lasted much longer than you initially planned. You also didn’t mind, though your thoughts were far more muddled than they should’ve been when you finally managed to pull away. He seemed to have a gift for that.
You felt your cheeks flush as you looked at him, not even trying to hide your smile. Turns out kissing Luke Castellan was actually pretty great. “Feel any luckier?”
“Yeah,” he said with a soft grin, his eyes twinkling. You wondered if he had the same thought about you. “Yeah. I really do.”
“I think that means it’s worked, then,” you said.
Luke nodded with mock austerity. “We should probably stick together for the rest of the week, though. Just to make sure this bad luck goes away for good.”
“You might be right,” you said. “And uh— you think you need an extra boost?” You glanced away as you bit back your smile. “Just to be safe and all. To really get rid of this curse.”
“You know,” he drew your attention back to him as he brushed a loose strand of hair behind your ear, and you leaned in closer. “I think I might.”
#luke castellan x reader#luke castellan fic#luke castellan fluff#luke castellan imagine#percy jackson and the olympians x reader#pjo x reader#x reader#sadie writes
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Forever is the Sweetest Con // Part 1
omgomgomg this is my first time ever posting to tumblr.com and i am nervoussss. i’ve been a lurker for years (literally like since i was 12) and i’ve always wanted to share my writing but i’ve been too scared!!! but i decided to say fuck it and post some of my stuff. i’m obsessed w the hunger games, so that’s what this first post is based on! it’s totally self indulgent, but it’s probably going to turn into a series, so suggestions and feedback is super welcome and appreciated! i prob wont get any readers but that’s ok i just want to get my work out there and continue this hobby! anyway if you’re reading this i love you!!!
TW: Death, slight descriptions of gore, sadness
. . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆ . . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆
The capitol says the dark days are behind us now. We have entered a new era, an era of peace. Any trace of an uprising was squandered. Any small act of defiance, intentional or not, is met with cruel and unusual punishment. We are lucky the capitol hasn’t done more to punish us, given the harm we did. The world could have ended. We should be grateful.
Anyone who steps foot in any of the districts will see that that is not true. Mention peace to a citizen of district eleven and he will laugh in your face. Talk about gratitude to a district eight worker and she will avoid you at all costs. In the districts, there is no such thing as gratitude, peace, tranquility, happiness. There is only survival.
When you think of survival to it’s core, the barren bones, the tired eyes, the heavy limbs, you are picturing the citizens of district twelve. The twelfth district in Panem specialized in coal mining, which is not only an incredibly dangerous industry, but incredibly taxing as well. The men go to the mines from 6 in the morning to 7 at night. Monday through friday. No breaks, no exceptions, the only time you are excused is if you are actively dying.
Roslyn Sage grew up in this environment. But she also grew up in a different world. The world of the covey. She looks back at her early days with fondness, remembering the times she would hold hands with her older sister and cousin and harmonize to the songs their elders taught them. Or braiding grass baskets with her mother. Or sitting on her fathers shoulders while they traveled from district to district.
“Papa, I’m hungry.” She remembers saying, playing with his long hair as he walked with the rest of the band. They didn’t know where they were going, they never did, and they liked it that way. “I know, sweet thing.” he said softly, keeping his eyes trained on the stretch of land in front of them. The covey never looks back, that’s what her papa said.
They were nearing four days of travel. They had just left district 8, spending two months there. They had a few injured, with the war going on all around them. They needed time to reciprocate, recharge. But they were always safest in the trees. That’s what papa said. So they left. Her uncle still needed a walking stick, and her grandfather couldn’t hear out of his left ear, but they needed to leave.
Roslyn Sage didn’t understand the complete reasoning. Her papa said it wasn’t safe, and that was all. They needed to get somewhere where they could sing. And sing they did. As they walked, she could hear her older sister sing one of the band’s favorite songs to pass the time. “Well there’s a dark and a troubled side of life,” Lucy Gray sang, as she held hands with four year old Maude Ivory, “There’s a bright and a sunny side too.”
Roslyn Sage grinned as her papa started to sing along, and then mama. Her uncle joined, then nana. “Keep on the sunny side, always on the sunny side. Keep on the sunny side of life! It will help us every day, it will brighten all the way if we keep on the sunny-“
Papa stopped so suddenly that Roslyn Sage swore she could’ve fallen off his shoulders. He reached forward and grabbed Lucy Gray’s arm, a silent way to get her to stop singing. “Papa, why’d we-“ “Quiet.” Papa whispered back harshly, as all the grownups looked ahead. When Roslyn Sage finally looked up to see what they were staring at, she felt her heart sink into her stomach. Even at seven years old, she knew this wasn’t good.
Peacekeepers. Sure- just a group of five, not a whole team, but enough. Big, strong, grown men who could take them easily. Everyone in the group knew this. Papa’s hand tightened around Lucy Gray’s arm and mama quickly scooped up Maude Ivory. “Wasn’t expecting to see anyone out here.” One peacekeeper said, a small frown on his face. He couldn’t have been older than 18. In fact- they all looked that young. One stepped forward, deciding to take the lead in the situation. “You’re past boundaries.” He said, his hand resting on the gun in his holster. “That’s against the law now.”
“We don’t want any trouble.” Papa said, his back straight even though Roslyn Sage could feel his heart pounding from here. “We’re traveling folk- we must’ve been away when that law was passed.” But they weren’t, she knew they weren’t. She had been half-asleep one day, cuddled in between Maude Ivory and Lucy Gray, when she heard the grown ups whispering about it. But she knew better than to say that. “Lead us to the nearest district and then-“
A twig snapped and the entire group looked up to see uncle Sam Flint running as fast as he could. He was only 14, he was foolish. Papa almost ran for it, screaming his youngest brothers name, but it was too late. The youngest peacekeeper had already gotten his gun, aimed, and shot. Sam Flint hit the floor in an instant. Even from here, Roslyn Sage could see the blood pouring out of his head.
“Now don’t take that-“ Papa was right back in defense mode, pulling Lucy Gray behind him. They already lost one, they couldn’t lose another. The peacekeeper who had shot Sam Flint looked shaken up but the tragedy only made the one in charge more upset. He held up his gun, and when he did, so did the rest. All five peacekeepers had their fully loaded rifles aimed at the group. “One step and you’re-“ her aunt let out a broken sob, holding her baby to her chest.
It all happened so fast. If you were to ask the covey children about what really happened that day, you wouldn’t get anywhere near a real answer. All Roslyn Sage could really remember was her aunts face as the bullet hit her chest, how her papa tried to catch the baby, mama’s scream as she reached for Lucy Gray before being dragged away, papa’s eyes as he laid in her lap, holding her hand until his last breath.
Lucy Gray tells her that the peacekeepers weren’t willing to kill the children. In a twisted way, they thought they were victims of the covey and not the captiol. After papa was gone, the one who killed Sam Flint picked her up. She was kicking and screaming, too young to comprehend that her father was gone regardless of if she was next to him or not. The punched his back, kicked his stomach, even tried to bite. The boy carrying her had tears streaming down his cheeks. Roslyn had never had any desire to hurt someone in her life, until now.
#fantasy#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#lucy gray baird#maude ivory#the covey#writing#my writing#fanfic#fanfiction#writeblr#thg series#thg#thg fanfiction#coriolanus snow#coryo snow#original character#president snow#katniss everdeen#peeta mellark#finnick odair#thg finnick#thg tbosas#thg katniss#thg peeta#i hate gale hawthorne
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OMG YOU FOUND HIM IN THE VIDEO?!?
I was afraid they didn’t put him in at all! :O
I guess it makes sense though? He’s not part of this event, but he’s still a prominent character in the game, so I was a bit disappointed that he wasn’t chilling with anyone. :/
BUT THEN I REMEMBERED (no offense, Childe my love) he literally doesn’t have any friends 😭 Like all the harbingers lowkey hate him and he lowkey hates them back. He’s only really interacted with Yoimiya, Xinyan, and Zhongli?
Like Yoimiya and Xinyan definitely aren’t that close to him. They kinda just hung around him because he was in an event with them? Then he’s only friends with Zhongli, but it doesn’t make sense for them to hang out because Zhongli was hanging with the other archons.
But then I tried thinking about who he COULDVE hung out with and???
It’s not like with Albedo and Tighnari, they were clearly hanging out because they’re both intelligent and we’re probably talking. Or like with Itto and Cyno, they both share the common interest of playing Genius Invokation TCG.
Like no one who was there would really wanna talk to him? 😭 Even though he seems so easygoing, he has NO friends :(
Sorry, Childe brain rot. I love this funky ginger man. I’m sad that he has no friends 😭 He needs a hug and maybe a kiss… AND MAYBE A PARTNER WHO WANTS TO CUDDLE HIS FLUFFY LEGACY
Okay sorry again, brainrot over XD
okay place your bets everyone, which Pyro lady will Childe befriend next? my bet's on Yanfei because she's cool
oh oh oh but this is making me remember a brainrot i had a couple days ago- reuniting with Childe during Lantern Rite
hear me out, you're from Liyue and met him when he was stationed to do Harbinger duties, and you ended up spending a lot of time together, eventually falling in love. Childe adores you so much and wants to spend the rest of his life with you, but after the Liyue incident and Osial getting summoned he’s shipped off to Inazuma so he doesn’t cause more unrest- the other Harbingers don’t particularly like him, except maybe Pulcinella, and you can’t exactly go with him since the Harbor is your home
so tearfully you say goodbye to Childe and Foul Legacy, because you love them both and they love you, too
Childe sends you letters as often as he can, but it’s difficult since he’s trying to keep you a secret- people knowing you’re the Eleventh Harbinger’s lover could very well put you in danger. it hurts missing him this much, your heart breaking into pieces whenever you’re alone, but you have to stay strong because you know he’ll return eventually, when work permits him to
he promised to return by Lantern Rite. he promised
Childe’s gaze trails across the Harbor, seemingly admiring the lights and ribbons that decorate every door, but in truth he’s only looking for one person- you. it’s been so long since he’s seen you in person- Archons, how long has it been, exactly? too long, and both he and Foul Legacy know that. his heart thumps erratically in his chest, strangely nervous- would you be angry with him? worried about his time oversees? he couldn’t deny that he didn’t love when you fussed over him, but your fretting and fear broke his heart
or perhaps you’ve just forgotten him by this point- he wouldn’t blame you for it
“Childe!”
and there you are, standing a few feet away and staring in awe, like you didn’t truly expect him to show up. the Harbinger simply smiles, a soft, gentle smile reserved only for you, and opens his arms. in a few moments you’ve dashed over into his embrace, squeezing him tightly and fighting back joyful tears as he chuckles, hand already petting your hair
he’s back- he’s back and he’s with you, and you’re reunited
you drag him away somewhere quieter, out of the crowd in case anyone recognizes him but also because Foul Legacy is chirping insistently in the back of his head, wanting nothing more than to take control and wrap his claws around you for the first time in months- the Abyssal monster is even clingier than Childe, and the moment you’re alone there’s a burst of Electro, Foul Legacy towering over you
to anyone else it’d be terrifying, but you simply beam and press your cheek into his gentle palm, reveling in the happy croons and purrs that slip from his mouth. with a quick sweep Foul Legacy holds you in his arms, head pressed against his chest so you can still admire the fireworks. your hands wind into his lilac fluff, idly petting and combing it with your fingers as you stare up at the sky, happy and content
and Childe and Foul Legacy are finally home
#genshin impact#childe#tartaglia#foul legacy#foul legacy childe#genshin tartagalia#genshin childe#genshin tartaglia#chit chat#anon#sorry this got super long i just have so many thoughts#running up to childe and jumping into his arms after months.... yeah#and foul legacy holding you so gently and just eating up the affection#the night definitely ends with you snuggling on your bed#foul legacy wrapped around you and your ear pressed against his chest#aaaaaaaaheheheh#short scenario#other's stuff#FAVE
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yearning for your love (pat murray x gender!neutral reader)
requested by: @lizardaddams
a/n: i’m literally so sorry that this took me since FEBRUARY to finish?? but honestly thank you for understanding why it took so long. anywho, i hope whoever reads this enjoys it!
requests are closed
warnings: cussing, fluff
Studying abroad was one of the best experiences of your life. You were majoring in Language Studies in Barcelona to become a Translator & Interpreter. You have a passion for traveling, so you figured going that route was your best choice. But your boyfriend (Mr. 'Uptight' Pat Murray) was concerned about you going abroad. You two had been dating for a year, and when you decided to study abroad for the summer, Pat was devastated. He was sick to his stomach when you told him. He was furious at first, but when you explained to him how important this was for you, he changed his heart.
The day you left was emotional--especially for your family, friends, and Pat. Maintaining a distance relationship for three months while balancing school was hard for you. But somehow, you two were still going strong. It made your relationship more robust than ever.
It was now August, and classes ended in two days. You had just finished your last exam for the semester and couldn't wait to jump back on the plane to see your loved ones. Your friends and family knew you were returning today, but Pat was out of the loop. He knew you weren't coming back until the end of the month. You begged everyone not to tell him anything because you wanted to surprise him at the game. Pat talked about this game for the past couple of weeks and wants you here today to hear your voice in the crowd cheering him and his team on. The guys were also disappointed that you couldn't make it to be their cheerleader. Your support always gave him the most incredible luck (as he would say), but he or the team weren't doing so hot without you here. He texted you that a few minutes after you got off the plane. He tried to be discreet because the guys didn't know you were dating. It wasn't like you two were hiding it from them. You just felt there was no need to unless someone asked you if you were in a relationship. With Pat, he doesn't let anyone know his business unless he's cool with them. He'll tell the guys or whenever you decide to say it to them.
While waiting for your reply, Pat was daydreaming on his phone when Vinnie popped up behind his shoulder, startling the redhead. "The fuck, Vinnie?!"
"Who are you texting there, bud?" He asked before reaching to grab his phone but failed when Pat snatched it away before he could. "Piss off, Vin." He sneered, rolling his eyes as he put his phone back in his sports bag.
"Now you know I can't do that, Pat." Vinnie pouted jokingly, sitting down next to him. "Are you cheating on me?"
Pat tried to ignore Vinnie by focusing on the game, but when he glanced back at him, he cracked a smile. Vinnie hollered excitedly at the action, glad he could still make his friend smile at his shenanigans. As Vinnie walked away to annoy someone else, Pat turned his attention back to the bleachers to find you, only to feel another hit of sadness--forgetting that you were on the other side of the world. He was getting ready to grab his phone again when Ty returned to the dugout. "Murray, you're up!"
It felt like you would never make it to his game, which was pissing you off as time passed. You were waiting for your taxi to show up. Your parents had called one for you an hour ago, but you gave them hell once they showed up late. You weren't usually this rude and cranky, but only having one meal and 2 hours of sleep made you this way. Plane rides made you extremely nervous, especially how you were going to surprise Pat. But that plan was ruined when you just knew there wouldn't be any time left to do so.
You wanted to fight the cab driver once he got to the field. However, it was apparent that the game had ended, and the D-Backs had won. You threw your faire on the front seat and grabbed your things before hastily leaving the car. Searching the crowd for Pat, you instantly spotted him. He was so happy that it made you smile and forget about the hell you went through the past few hours. Unfortunately, you didn't realize Pat's dad was standing beside you to greet you. You kind of just blocked him out, and without thinking, you hopped over the fence and booked it toward him. "PAT!" you shouted.
He was hugging Zapata as you were getting closer. His voice was astronomically loud, and you could hear his conversation, "I'm sorry I threw that so hard! I could have really hurt you!" but he stopped talking when he saw you approaching. He immediately shoved Zapata off him and ran to you, "Y/N!"
Once you two got close, you leaped onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist. Pat wrapped his arms around your waist, buried his face into your neck, and held you tight to him, caressing your head, back, and anywhere his hands could touch you. "Long time no see, honey." He said softly into your ear. You promised you were going to melt even faster in the blazing heat. They both had waited for this moment for so long and hoped that you wouldn't be separated like this again.
"I missed you so much, baby," you said once you pulled away to look at what you would call a beautiful face. Instead, you grabbed it between your hands and smashed your lips into his.
Palacco and Tree just so happened to turn around when they saw you two being intimate, which shocked the hell out of them. "Oh my..." Palacco gasped and looked at Tree, who had the same reaction. "Pat and Y/n are dating?!" Tree exclaimed.
Vinnie jumped and hooted before turning to Ty with his hand out, "Pay up, loser!"
Dells' eyebrows furrowed while watching you two. "How in the hell did we miss that?"
"I don't know," Ty said through gritted teeth as he handed Vinnie his last few bucks from his pocket. "But I'm going to murder them both!"
The guys agreed with Ty and marched over to you and Pat. You two were already laughing since you were the only one who could see them and told Pat what they were saying (because you're an expert at reading lips). You're going to have a ball listening to them harassing you both with a bunch of questions.
#pat murray#pat murray x reader#undrafted#joe mazzello#joe mazzello x reader#joe mazzello x y/n#bohrhap#gender neutral reader#joe mazzello fluff#joe mazzello fic
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Favorite recent neymessi moment or interview in the last couple of years (excluding copa America )
I thought Leo and Ney’s reunion after Leo came back from vacationing from his WC win was such a good moment. Of course for the obvious reasons that they hadn’t interacted for a solid month or so, but I feel like I noticed a shift in the relationship when Leo came back.
Of course, pre-WC Leo and Neymar were extremely close (that’s evidenced by their extremely affectionate celebrations on the pitch every game since PSG was literally undefeated before the WC).
But once Leo came back…. idk. I feel like there was such a STRONG shift in their energy.
Initially when Leo joined PSG, it was clear that he and Neymar were close because of their Barca days, and Neymar was one of his only friends in the club (Lea and Angel too but Leo practically came for Neymar). But as the months went along, Leo got comfortable with more people, developed a strong friendship with Verratti, and Neymar was still super close to Kylian and Marquinhos.
Ofc they had their neymessi moments, but they had other friendships apart from each other that outwardly appeared to be just as strong.
But after the World Cup, Neymar was so sad (and understandably so). Ofc he wasn’t a sad sap in every training or on the field, but his attitude didn’t have the same cheerfulness as it did before.
But when Leo came back? It was interesting… I’m huge on body language, and just seeing their interaction for the first time post-WC was again interesting. Of course there was the look of “I missed you! Welcome back!” But it was SO much more that just that — on both ends too!
We all saw how Leo greeted everyone when he came back, but his greeting of Neymar was soooo different from everyone else’s. It was like the feeling of relief washed over both of them when they saw each other again. Neymar smiling the biggest he had in weeks, Leo hugging him and taking him in as he closed his eyes, their hug lingering a couple milliseconds longer than usual. AND IT’S THOSE MINUTE DETAILS THAT ARE SOOOO HUGE. You’d have to rewatch the clip to see what I’m talking about. But once you do, you can just see that feeling of relief wash over Leo. Maybe he was nervous to see Neymar again? But once he did see him, he just seemed to revert back into a really relaxed state.
And of course the photos came out afterwards, and just how they were looking at each other… I don’t know. Again, it’s all about the eyes, and you could just see it between the two of them. The feeling of being “at home” with someone.
^^ im actually obsessed with this photo (the eyes)
Of course Leo quite literally felt “at home” with Argentina and winning the World Cup, but returning to Neymar seemed to bring him a sense of calmness that juxtaposed from the high-intensity celebrations post-winning. And I’m not sure about Neymar… but I think that Leo’s presence calmed him and his mind from the agony over his World Cup loss.
I feel like that whole moment when they saw each other again was encompassed by serenity. And ever since? They’ve practically been INSEPARABLE. It’s honestly insane. It’s like a month apart did a number on those two.
Before the WC, they weren’t always training partners all the time. But after their reunion, they were constantly next to each other in practice or during pre-match warmups.
I literally don’t know why their dynamic seemed to have shifted once Leo came back, but it did. Maybe it was like a nostalgicly bad remembrance of them being apart for so long after Ney left Barca?
Again, I’m not sure. But literally everyone has been saying over the past month or two that Neymar is kinda clinging onto Leo, but I also see it conversely as well. Leo is always much more subtle than Neymar, but you can catch him in trainings kind of idly staring at Neymar just to see where he is in proximity to him. Again, very subtle, but the subtleties with Leo are actually what make them the opposite. You just have to look closely.
So as a whole, that moment is definitely my favorite, because I feel like the distance and maybe somberness on Neymar’s end made them even more close than before. And it’s honestly a shame given all the transfer rumors and things that are going around right now and the fact that PSG is in a major slump.
I’m sorry that this was superrrrr long, but it’s been on my mind for a while. If any of you read this whole thing, I really appreciate it! ❤️
As for interviews, boyyyyy are there a lot. I have some clips in my camera roll, so I’ll be sure to post those soon!
This was very therapeutic for me anon, so much thanks for asking this question 🫶🏼
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I’ve wanted to say this for months. Years? But it’s hard. I can feel myself losing my voice again. Fandom is important to me because in some ways I feel it’s the only way I can really connect with others.
My therapist said something interesting right when we met. After talking about my life and friends and worries, she said, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, “Oh, so you’re an extrovert.”
?????
I have been scolded for being too quiet and too private and too scared of speaking to strangers since childhood. An extrovert?
But she’s not… wrong.
I was lonely, weird only child with too much of an intense interest in things no one else was interested in. Meteorology: I watched the weather channel like other people watched cartoons. Books: I read the same ones over and over and over. Star Trek: I sort of lived in space with them and got the nickname “little miss vocabulary” because of all the language I mimicked.
ADHD explains some of this, now. Very intense fixations with zero interest in anything that doesn’t align. And maybe I’m a little on the spectrum too, although I will not seek that diagnosis and don’t score high on the RAADS test.
I feel like most of my childhood was spent searching for someone who cared about things the way I did, and then coming up empty handed.
That’s not to say I was without friends!
I’ve always had friends. Close friends, starting in kindergarten and continuing on, even when I was years younger than everyone else, ahead a grade and getting bullied, even when I was bad at hiding how weird my interests are. That’s really lucky, and I’m grateful.
But having friends did not mean sharing my intense interests with them. They’d let me chatter about it, just like I listened to things I wasn’t interested in (boys mostly later on, this is long before I realized I was ace), but it wasn’t shared, if that make sense?
Fandom and my best friends were the first place I felt that mirrored back. Anime conventions. Writing stories together. Cosplay. Watching The Show and then reading The Fic and then discussing, endlessly. It is the high I’ve chased ever since. All my close relationships are based on it. I met my spouse through cosplay.
I finally had people!! I finally had people who understood what I was trying to say!!! And I understood them too, deep and unambiguous. Fandom is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. It’s driven me around the world, brought me joy and creativity and self-worth and new skills. I love it.
And then, my longest, deepest, and going-on-eight-years-strong hyper fixation: Yuri on Ice.
Holy shit.
Nothing has ever hit so hard. I spent literally years talking about it with other fans, every day creating. I’ve published over 400,000 words of fanfiction and have much more yet-unpublished. Before writing this post I wrote 2k. I think about it constantly and enjoy it for its own sake, as evidenced by how much of it I just don’t post anywhere at all. I love sharing but in the end fic truly is for me.
But the fandom has slowed down, in the natural way things do. It’s no one’s fault. There are plenty of other interesting things to see and read and do. All my precious friends have been moving on, one by one. And we’re still friends, don’t get me wrong! Of course we are. I have spoken with most of them every day for years, and care deeply about their lives outside of fandom.
But what I’m trying to say is I’m an extrovert in a *very specific way*, and now I’m back in that place again. I can’t connect and have it reflected back, I can’t hear something new. There’s no end to it. Have been trying to have some space for grief. I have been getting quieter and quieter, and not feeling a lot to look forward to.
Been playing mobile games to fill the void and just feeling gray. I’m not sad, just. Faded out. It sounds so dramatic that I don’t want to even type all of this out. I want to say there’s no thesis, nothing I’m seeking, no end goal.
But maybe it’s the same as always: I want understanding.
So that’s what’s up.
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finished persona 3 portable... as expected the ending killed me asdfghk... I’ll talk more under the cut, but ultimately, I really had a good time! it had its faults, of course - some characters and the lore in particular could have been developed a lot more, and obviously parts of the gameplay were dated - but it hit all the right emotional beats, and I think that’s the most important thing here. probably a 7/10 experience, and I’d be very excited to see a remake of it.
I’ll speak about gameplay first, since that’s obviously the weakest thing. there were a couple of bosses which were pretty memorable, like the wheel of fortune/strength battle, and the first part of the nyx avatar fight (where their arcana keeps changing), but ultimately, most of the gameplay was kind of a slog. given how old the game is though, I was sort of expecting that, and therefore wasn’t disappointed. not being able to choose the specific skills your persona inherited though was particularly annoying asdfghjkl
onto the plot/characters, while there were obvious faults, the way the theme of endings/death was implemented was fantastic. I think this shone through in particular during the social links - while some of the school ones were a bit boring sans saori’s, the rest of them really hammered home the game’s central theme. I think this is why I dramatically prefer the social links in P5 and P3 over the ones I’d done in P4 - they really resonate with the story a lot more.
I liked most of the members of SEES, even if I’m not quite as attached to them as I am the phantom thieves. junpei, yukari, and akihiko were great, and I don’t have any fuuka criticisms, even if I’m less attached to her. ken is an interesting character on paper, but I wished they fleshed out his revenge murder/suicide scheme a bit more. koromaru is cute, and while his general concept is a bit silly, the fact that he’s literally Just A Dog means that he doesn’t embrace some of the tedious tropes teddie/morgana do.
ironically enough, given I thought they’d probably be my favs, I found aigis and mitsuru to be the weakest playable characters. while aigis gets a lot of very good development near the end of the game, I wish her opening up to the team/becoming more human was a bit more gradual, y’know? like, the fight with ryoji/death should have been the turning point in her development, not its start. meanwhile, I think mitsuru is really hurt by her confidant being so late game, in conjunction with her being pretty sidelined during the ken/shinjiro arc, even though the events there should have affected her nearly as much as akihiko.
speaking of shinjiro, him, ryoji, ikutsuki, mitsuru’s dad, and the non-chidori members of strega each suffer from a terminal lack of screen time/development. while shinjiro’s social link was cute, he really doesn’t do much otherwise except get murdered - fuck, I never even used him in tartarus since he was way overleveled compared to my team. meanwhile, while ikutsuki and strega are interesting on paper, ikutsuki’s whole deal is super rushed, and strega’s whole schtick is all over the place. on the other hand, while I get why ryoji only appears when he does, I think him being around for an extra month really would have given his character a bit of an extra punch.
in fact, the lore in general is pretty underdeveloped, and I think it’s the main thing they should flesh out more if/when they remake this game. while I know FES’ postgame gives it a bit more depth, that’s sort of like slapping a bandage over a leaky hole.
still, like I said before, despite its faults, most of the emotional beats resonated with me. when the game wanted me to feel happy, I felt happy, and when it wanted me to feel sad, it punched me in the guts without hesitation.
#persona 3#was gonna write about what I'd like to see in the remake buuuuut it's late here so you'll have to wait for another day#review tag
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persona 4 golden playthrough update:
- I have found the True Killer At Last. was like “I’m not going to use a guide for everything” but I sure did use a guide for this. and I’m glad I did because no way would I have gotten through that Questions Gauntlet without it
- I forgot literally everything namatame did sorry dude. also a little disappointed we didn’t get to see nanako’s shadow though I get why she didn’t have one. want this little girl to be a little bit more upset about things she should be upset about sometimes
- ANYWAYS I maxed out every party member’s social link except for rise (and of course teddie but that doesn’t count). I want to max out rise as soon as possible since she’s also probably got the best navigator skills, but I still want to do a friendship only game and I don’t want to make her sad :( I will have to romance someone eventually on ng+ to get some Achievements, might pick rise so I don’t have to make her sad twice?
- turns out I was missing out on a lot of social links I forgot you have to like. talk to people. and stuff. so I’m probably going to have to do a ng+ to figure out what those people are up to. plus I missed out on a lot just not taking jobs? I took on the hospital janitor job just to get courage up (to talk to naoto) and was NOT fond about how that particular social link started.
- so it’s funny the only other social link I maxed outside party members (and the dojimas and marie) was uhhh kou ichijo who I spent time with because he shares a last name with kay. so then when they had the “remember all your friends!” it was like one guy. which was kinda funny
- also managed to max all stats which is nice
- still was only at like rank 2 at adachi because he said something that made me go :/ and then he was so low on my priority list after that I completely missed out on the rest of his social link. so that’s also a thing I want to do in a ng+ since he’s uh. a significant character.
- looked up the bad endings and accomplice ending is FUN even though I still don’t give a shit about adachi yet. because like I forgot what his whole deal was except it had something to do with being a misogynist? I know people compare him to akechi who I really like but I’m not feeling anything for him yet. like I said I don’t remember a lot of the details of this part of the game so if there was something cool I forgot. well.
- as for characters I DO like: naoto my best friend naoto!! I’m not inherently against “woman feels the need to present as male because of some societal pressures but then grows to accept femininity” or whatever, like I’ve been there, but something about the way they go about this just leaves a sour taste in my mouth? like going “I wish I was born male :( well nothing I can do about it guess I’ll have to learn to accept being a woman” isn’t really. encouraging? kind of like with kanji’s “guys can have “feminine” traits without being gay” like. that’s true! but also! in the way you’ve presented this story I think he’s just gay!
- think it would be extremely funny if naoto goes like “that’s it... I’ll have to accept being a woman. I’ll have to learn to work through my internalized misogyny and assert myself as a successful female detective” and does that and then five years later is like “wait. I might actually be trans.”
- while we’re on this depressing note, absolutely everything with the school festival beauty pageants was horrific to sit through. aside from the sheer relief I felt when naoto just refused to participate in the swimsuit part
- I did max out dojima and nanako social links just before nanako got kidnapped so it was hard to watch. dojima finally won me over and was a decent father and then all this happens. which I think is how we’re supposed to play the game anyway
- ??? idk what else. maybe I will be able to finish this game soon and maybe p5r will come in some day. what even IS in the winter months I don’t remember a single thing about marie
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so I’m delusional and I literally just started my dive into the Roy x Wolt ship and your last post abt them was SCRUMPTIOUS so I was wondering if you could give us some headcannons for their relationship???
HI ANON, omg, sorry for the late response!!!
Uhhh... I had to look back at my posts and I don't know whether you were referring to someone else's ask about Roy's marriage options and I was like "WOLT IS HIS SEVENTH OPTION" or the one that was a Mother's Day post and it was kid Roy and Wolt haha.
ANYWAYS, I STILL LOVE THEM. It's just that I am OLD and have to age up Roy and Wolt if I ship them (went through my drafts and died a little bit from all of my Roy x Wolt drafts hahahaha), but uhhhh, I do remember my headcanons from waaaaay back until now, so here they are (if you're still interested...)
But welcome into the Roy x Wolt ship!!
Roy x Wolt (as kids)
Roy is an absolute menace and no one can tell me otherwise. He was the reason for Rebecca's headaches.
Roy constantly dragged Wolt into situations resulting Rebecca just yelling at Wolt (because he's her son) and Wolt hated playing with Roy, which made Roy sad and so Roy would bring him things to apologize (turns out they were items from other people and then just got Wolt into more trouble...)
Roy wore a lot of white because he was the Marquess's son, but his shirt always came back a darker color... Wolt's did too, but mainly Roy's fault lol
Roy x Wolt (as teens)
At one point, Wolt realized that they were in different stations therefore he stepped back to do whatever he was doing in their supports (which pissed Roy off honestly).
Wolt is taller than Roy as teen and has the height advantage until he didn't...
Roy's puberty kicks in (mainly because I headcanon his mother as Ninian and therefore dragon blood causes slow puberty?) and just becomes taller than Wolt
Idk, they make up and etc, but Wolt continues to support Roy on a more personal level too
Roy x Wolt (as adults) - This can go several ways, but mainly headcanon Roy ceding Pherae to Lilina for the Kingdom of Lycia (as stated in FE6's ending)
Roy and Wolt stay in Pherae and do whatever they have to do, but the pressure is less on Roy now since Lilina is the one who officially needs to have a heir for the Kingdom of Lycia, so they probably adopt kids and raise them as their own
OR Roy and Wolt leaves Pherae and travels (read: Smash Bros LMAO) and they have their family however they please
My personal headcanons
This is controversial, but uh... Roy tops lmao. I prefer my ships certain ways and I've been shipping Roy x Wolt forever and Roy always topped, so if Wolt tops well... I'm not interested lol
Wolt is a few months older than Roy: Rebecca gave birth to Wolt and wanted another daughter, but got another boy (Roy) to take care of, so she never had another child lol.
Only Wolt really knows Roy's true nature--I know Lilina mentions that she knows how clumsy Roy is and etc, but I'd like to think that Roy actual puts up a front around Lilina as well just so she doesn't worry, but he doesn't do it with Wolt. Essentially Wolt knows how much of a menace Roy REALLY is.
Roy is hotheaded/passionate while Wolt is cool and a bit more calm (just look at their affinities in the game. Roy's is fire and Wolt's is ice/water)
Wolt learns how to hunt and cook from Rebecca, so Wolt is a much better cook than Roy. Roy probably sets burns ice cream or something idk.
If I haven't bore you yet, I'm willing to put more headcanons I guess! But thanks for your ask--I found some drafts of Roy x Wolt that I might fix up and post :3
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Farewell, Footy
Right, we’re not crying. I promised myself.
Today, I may be saying my goodbyes to football, but we’re going to make this a celebration. No sad faces!! We’ve had too much fun for any tears.
Maybe it’s because I’m from Sunderland, but two things have always been true about me: I’ve always been stubborn, and I’ve always loved football. It’s been in my blood ever since I was five years old. I saw a load of boys playing in the school yard and I walked straight up to them and said the four magic words….
“Can I play too?”
Three years later, I got my picture in the local newspaper. My mam brought home the Sunderland Echo and there was a scruffy little girl in the middle of a gang of boys, smiling away with her trophy. The headline said: JILL IS PROUD TO BE A MAN. (I got Man of the Match at a boys tournament). And I remember I was fuming because the organisers of the tournament were so embarrassed and they told my mam, “Oh, don’t worry, we’ll change it so it says Girl of the Match.”
I said, “No!!! They’ll think I got it for being the only girl!!! Leave it!!! I’m the Man of the Match!!!”
I give my mam a lot of credit, because I had a dream that didn’t even exist yet, and she supported me anyway. The next year, the club told me I couldn’t play for them anymore — it was only for boys — and I remember stuffing my face into the settee cushions and crying my eyes out because I thought my world had literally crumbled. I cried for so long that the leather of the sofa was stuck to my face. But my mam said, “Don’t worry, we’ll find you another team.”
Football was simply my life, and I could barely even sit still for tea before I ran back outside to play. I’d wolf it down in five minutes and then run from house to house knocking on all the neighbours’ doors trying to recruit as many of the boys as I could, pestering all the parents — “Is Craig coming out? Is Mark coming out?”
If nobody was up for a game, I’d just kick about in the back lanes by myself. If the ball flew over a fence and the neighbour wasn’t around to throw it back, I’d just run sprints back and forth from one wall to the other. And you have to imagine the back lanes in Sunderland — they’re maybe 10 metres wide, tops. Run, touch the wall, run to the other wall. Back and forth in a grubby lane! I’d be doing this for hours, until dark. That was just my fitness routine.
At the weekend, there was a special at the local pub where if you bought a pint, they’d give you a token for a free bus ride to the Stadium of Light. So my grandpa would go for a drink, and at noon I’d run up the hill to meet him and we’d ride the bus to watch Sunderland play. I was that kid who collected every match programme, the one begging all the players for autographs (and judging the ones who were too cool to sign.)
I remember when I was 13, I begged my mam to let me go see England vs. Turkey at the Stadium of Light. It was a late kickoff, and I had a curfew, but I begged and I begged, “Please let us go!” and finally she said, “Alright, but be back by 10.”
Long story short: Stayed ’til 11 waiting outside the car park. Got David Beckham’s autograph. He had the blonde highlights and everything. He saw me holding up a poster that I'd pulled out from an old football magazine. I was holding it out through the gate with me long arms (thank God for them) and he came right over.
I ended up back home around midnight. Mam was none too pleased with us, but I just remember folding up the poster in my back pocket so she wouldn’t tear it up and thinking, “Right, ground me for a month. Don’t care. Best day of my life.”
When you love football, it’s not rational. You pour everything you have into it, and it’s like you don’t even notice that you’re doing it. I’ll never forget, when I was about 18 or 19 years old, I was trying to break into the England team, and Hope Powell said something to all of us players that is so true:
“If you want to play for England, you have to be obsessed.”
When I was younger, I didn’t really understand what she meant. But looking back on my career now, and what a ridiculous journey it has been, she was absolutely right. I remember when I was playing with my first professional club at Sunderland, we didn’t even have our own kit. The men’s team used to give us their gear from the season before, so it was like a free-for-all to grab what you could. I remember rummaging through the laundry bags because there was a physio by the name of Jocky Scott, and so I’d try to grab his stuff so I could have the JS initials on my shorts. The shorts were so long on us they looked like three quarter lengths, and the red jumpers had been washed so many times that they’d faded to pink, but we were just grateful for whatever we could get.
On away days, we had this rented minibus from the 1980s — the kind where they had the dodgy little lamps at every table where you’d pull the string to turn them on — and we’d literally stop six or seven times on the side of the motorway to pick up the players. Not even at a service station or anything. Just stood on the side of the road, waving. Everybody had a full-time job. These were teachers, policewomen, caterers. But above all, footballers. I remember we used to always stay at a Premier Inn, and it would be four of us to a room. Two in the double bed, one on the settee, and one on the little kiddie pullout bed.
But you know what? Those were the absolute best times. I would go back there in a heartbeat. That’s the God’s honest truth. As a young player, those Everton girls took me under their wing and shaped who I am today. I remember we used to get to the room on a Saturday and race to switch on Match of the Day. All of us crowded around the little TV, drinking a cup of tea, just having a ball.
We’d get back home the next night at two o’clock in the morning, and half the women had to be up for work at six, but they loved it. We all did. If you don’t love it, you don’t last. You can’t. The dream is what sustains you.
I may be saying my goodbyes to football, but we’re going to make this a celebration. No sad faces!! We’ve had too much fun for any tears.
God, this is so embarrassing, but if I can’t embarrass myself during my retirement announcement, when can I really? When I was playing for Everton, I remember I used to make these long drives on the M62 from Sunderland to Liverpool. Just to set the scene for you, I had this legendary Peugeot 106 with alloy wheels, and the radio was broken, and I was always losing my MP3 player, so for the three hour drive I’d pass the time by interviewing myself.
Not in my head. Out loud. I’d be both the interviewer and myself. I was just thinking, One day, this will come in handy….
“Jill, you got a big match coming up this weekend against Arsenal. How’s the team feeling?”
“Yeah, well, obviously it’s a massive opportunity for us….”
Picture this all happening as I’m cruising down the M62 in my little Peugeot, but I’ve also got packets of Dairylea Lunchables and Yazoo milkshakes all over the back seat, because I’ve just stopped off for tea at the petrol station.
Just incredibly serious and professional. Eating a ham and cheese Lunchable, using the Yazoo bottle as a microphone, talking about, “Well, the manager really had us working hard in training this week….”
This was my life. Just surviving, definitely not thriving. I had stopped going to university. I had spent about £20,000 in student loans on petrol.
Imagine, if you would have told me back then that I’d go on to play for England for 16 years?
If you would have told me that I’d live to see 90,000 people packed into Wembley Stadium for a women's European final?
And that I’d be playing in it?
Impossible.
You know what’s funny? This last chapter was almost not written for me. As I was rehabbing from my knee injury, the final team selection for the Euros was looming, and I really had no idea if I was going to make it in. I remember when they called us into Sarina’s office one by one to give us the news, I was so nervous that I’d drunk three Flat Whites in the cafeteria and when I sat down across from Sarina, I was literally shaking.
She said, “Jill, what’s the matter with you?”
I said, “Well, I had three coffees but also I’m nervous so I’m not sure which.”
She said, “You’re going.”
It was just such a massive relief for me, because at 35 years old, I knew it was my last go. I just wanted to give absolutely everything I had left to this team, no matter what that meant.
That tournament … what can I even say?
I am just a big ball of disbelief, even now. I have a gold medal. I can’t stop looking at it, three weeks later. It’s so heavy. It’s so real. I keep dropping it, and I have to ask myself: Was I really there? Did this really happen? Did I really swear live on TV?? Did I really hug Prince William?
I think he broke royal protocol when he gave us this big cuddle, but you could see it in his face — he was just so happy for us. He’s followed our journey all the way along. I just kept saying to him “I can’t believe it, I can’t believe it.”
When I got my MBE I never got to go to Buckingham Palace, because of Covid. Maybe now he can invite me back and he can present us with it.
But it was not just the final. There were so many moments from that tournament when I was sat there, looking around the stadium in our first game, seeing 70,000 people packed into Old Trafford for a women's football match, seeing all the banners and the atmosphere and the emotion … and I’d just think to myself: Look how far we’ve come.
When I had moved to Man City, I was just literally amazed that they even washed our kits. Everyone was getting annoyed with me, because I kept saying it.
“They wash our kits??? They really wash our kits???”
“Jill, shut up!!! Yes they wash the kits. You deserve to have your kit washed.”
Just being able to train like a full professional was magic. (I can hear Nick Cushing shouting, “Jill Scott needs her touches on the ball!!” Without Nick helping me reinvent my career at 26, I wouldn’t have gone on to have another nine years with England. Thank you, Nick.)
Until I was 26, it was a luxury just to be able to get my touches every day. So to see 90,000 people at Wembley for the final against Germany, it was indescribable. Being on the bench for the first half, a part of me was sat there like a fan. I mean, England might actually win something??? Ten minutes into the match, I had to remind myself that I’m not a kid in the stands watching Michael Owen against Argentina or something. I’m really part of the team.
There’s a photo from the start of the match and you can see that everyone else is on the bench smiling and taking in the moment, and I’m just sat there so nervous, thinking: COME ON, England.
The best thing that happened to me was when they called me to warm up in the 77th minute, because at least then I was in control of something. I just snapped out of it and could concentrate on doing my job. I knew what I had to do: Go in there and smash as many players as I could. Close them down. Run my socks off. Shut up shop.
I just wanted to win so, so, so badly, and there was a moment in the game where I lost my head a little bit … which has gone a bit viral and has been turned into mugs and t-shirts (that are currently sitting in my grandma’s house.) Obviously, I wish the BBC cameras didn’t pick it up, but all I can do now is apologise to my grandma: Sorry, Ganny!!!
I had 30 years of football’s heartbreaks and dreams and disappointments built up inside me, and I just wanted to do it for everybody in that stadium … everybody in the country … all them girls having a kickabout in the back lanes. I wanted it so, so bad.
I don’t even remember the moment when Chloe scores, if I’m honest. She’s worrying it’s a foul because she shields the ball so well, and we’re looking at her, she’s looking at me — she’s half took her top off … is it a goal?! Is it not?! Then it gets given, she runs off and it was just chaos. The fans are screaming, her top came fully off, and Wembley went mad. The next thing I know Georgia is awkwardly trying to put Chloe’s shirt back on.
After she scored, I knew we were going to be champions, we had Millie and Leah at the back and Mary in goal. We were not giving up that lead. At the final whistle, I just remember running straight up to Keira and saying, “Thank you for absolutely bossing the midfield the entire tournament.”
After that I did something that I haven’t shared with anyone yet. I ran to the changing rooms to send one text. I didn’t want to be on my phone, but there was one person I needed to message. Mo Marley. Mo was the coach who took a chance on a skinny 18-year-old Jill Scott. If she’d never given me that opportunity, I wouldn’t be where I am today. I can’t say enough good things about Mo. In the changing room, I just messaged her saying, “We did it, Mo.”
Obviously, everyone got to see the absolute scenes in the dressing room on social media after the Euro final. But the thing that really sticks out to me is that night, when we got back to the Lensbury Hotel, me and Millie Bright were sharing a room, and of course we were buzzing so there was no way we were going to sleep. We just sat up all night, literally doing raps and poems and all sorts of nonsense, like little kids. At half seven in the morning, as the sun was coming up, I went for a walk to get a coffee with Lotte without having a minute of sleep, and it was the most surreal moment of my life.
On the walk to the cafe, everybody stopped us.
There were car horns beeping, and people stopping us to take photos with tears in their eyes, and they were just saying, “Thank you.” We walked past the news agents and there were pictures of us on every front page.
ENGLAND. CHAMPIONS.
If you don’t love it, you don’t last. You can’t. The dream is what sustains you.
It felt better than a dream.
But as I like to say: It’s not about the splash. It’s about the dive.
You know the last thing I ever did on a football pitch? It was perfectly me. We had celebrated, the streamers were going off, and I was just sitting there with my medal on the grass for an hour and a half, taking it all in … and I knew, deep in my heart, that this was it.
So many memories came back to me. I thought about Sunderland and all the sprints I had done from wall to wall, 10 metres at a time. I thought about showing up to my first England cap with moulds instead of studs!
Thought about the tattoo I got at 2 o‘clock in the morning in the middle of Liverpool after we beat Arsenal in the Community Shield.
Thought about the unbelievable support of my family all these years – about how Ganny would be telling the painter or the gardener or anyone who stopped by the house, “You know my granddaughter plays for England?”
Thought about all the fans who supported me in my career, and how I’ll never be able to thank them enough.
Thought about how my niece and nephews got to watch their Aunty Jill go out a champion.
Thought about all them little moments with the girls in hotels and changing rooms and minibusses over the years. Those are the things that I’ll miss the most.
(I told you I wasn’t going to cry.)
I just sat there and thought: Right. If this is it, let’s do one more run.
So I grabbed Lotte Wubben-Moy as well as our Sports scientist Martin and I said, “You’ve made me do so many box-to-box runs throughout this tournament…. Come on, run one more with us.”
The game had been over for ages, but it just felt right. Suddenly I was like that little girl again, running on her own in the back lanes.
Box to box. Wall to wall.
Only this time I had a gold medal swinging from my neck.
That was my way of saying goodbye.
And this is my way of saying thank you.
Jill Scott by The Players Tribune
#Jill Louise Scott#Jill Scott#England WNT#Sunderland Association Football Club Ladies#Everton FC#Manchester City Women's Football Club#Aston Villa Women Football Club#Team GB#Great Britain women's Olympic football team#retirement#football#fußball#fussball#foot#fodbod#futbol#futebol#soccer#calcio
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6 Questions Tag Game
Thanks @dwellerinroots for the tag! I haven’t actually ever done one of these so here goes nothing.
1. Last Song?
Ughgh I think Malibu by Hole. I last listened to a podcast and I only use Spotify so I’m like 98% it was Malibu. Anyways I love that song. It’s hopeful and sad and when I was in high school I really wanted someone to whisk me away and we’d go live somewhere by the beach in like a van. You know like those kinda romantic, hazy dreams of van-life before you realize that it’s not realistic.
2. Last Show?
I was gonna say The Last of Us, but actually I watched Modern Family last night. TBH my partner likes TLoU a lot more than I do, but it’s got some scenes that melt my heart a bit. Anyways Modern Family always acts like a personal pick-me-up since it’s kinda nostalgic. Plus sometimes I wish my family was more like them. It also kinda helped me realize what wasn’t healthy about my own personal relationships and know that life goes on even if your family sucks sometimes so even if it’s a mess it kinda has helped me? Idk why I’m trying to explain myself here lmao. I had a class where everyone said it was problematic and I don’t want people thinking I agree with everything in the show or whatever.
3. Currently Watching?
I just finished watching Wakanda Forever so I think it counts since I started this before it ended lmao. Anyways I thought it was okay. Not good, but not terrible. But I also think it was closer to terrible than good. It just felt confused, like it didn’t know what message or arc Shuri was supposed to have so idk idk. I’m not a movie critic so… yeah
4. Currently Reading?
I’m still reading Hyperion. I know it’s been a month, but in my defense the blues have hit me like a truck and I’ve solely been focusing on keeping my GPA. I have one more short story left, which is the Consol’s. Also, I should’ve mentioned but it’s a collection of sci-fi short stories (Canterbury Tales style) taking place eons into the future after Earth has literally imploded. It follows a group of people brought together on a pilgrimage to travel to the mysterious Time Temple on the planet of Hyperion. There’s more but I really don’t wanna spoil anything for anyone who might want to read or was already planning. Anyways the priest’s tale is my absolute favorite, because I like it’s spooky vibe and other spoiler-filled reasons. However they’re all written really well and I would recommend this to just about everyone since I think it’s just a really fun read.
5. Current Obsession?
Oof I don’t really have one because I’ve been feeling down. However Cyberpunk 2077 was it for a while, then TES again, and I’m just floating now. Anyways I’m always interested in TES, the Witcher, Dragon Age, etc. It’s just not as intense as other people though. I feel kinda boring now. Well, at least I’ve been getting back into art and blender and messing around with trying to learn my father’s language again. And I love writing and creating generally so that’s really that.
6. Unrelated Stuff I’ve Been Doing?
I already talked about this a little I guess. I’m learning Polish again and watching more shows with the dub in Spanish so I don’t lose it since I just don’t talk to my family much anymore. I’ve been messing with blender and unreal engine. I re-started this art-schedule-thing that I got from a yt video. I really want to improve my digital art. I also have like 10 billion tabs open with videos on blender and unreal so maybe I’ll post what I’m working on one day. I kinda gave up on my NaNoWriMo because I’m too moody and I don’t know what’s wrong with my executive function but we haven’t been on the same page recently. However, listening to podcasts (like Unresolved Textual Tension or You’re Wrong About and Rotten Mango) has kinda helped my mood a little. But if I’m being real here, real life kinda takes up most of my time. So school (gotta love deciding for a dual degree really late in my undergrad) and all the volunteer/internship things I have to do kinda just take up most of my life. That’s a little depressing lmao, but it is what it is.
Anyways, thanks for the tag! I don’t feel like I’m active enough to tag anyone and I’m shy so anyone who sees and wants to do it, feel free.
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The PK interview feels like a knife in the coffin. PK making a point to say Lucy is part of the family makes me feel ill. If AK/LD is staying, it feels like they'll continue to develop her as Buck's end game. I'm sad!
Alright I wouldn’t say it’s a knife in the coffin! He’s obligated to talk about her character bc they can’t just randomly forget about her? Either way I’m choosing to believe one of two things are gonna happen.
1. She’s gonna be told that she’s joining the 118 in the finale and everyone accepts her into the family. And we leave off thinking that. But over the hiatus, just how they got rid of Ali, I can see them getting rid of her too. And when s6 comes back, they make a comment about how she was with the team for a few weeks/months but has since joined another team.
2. Or we unfortunately come back and she’s with the team. This is a dumb mistake on their part bc so much of the ga already dislikes her character so it’ll severely affect their views in the first episode. Not just that but they’ve already cut down so much of her scenes and her backstory. They’ve made deliberate decisions in filming specific scenes that show her left out and not really a part of the 118! So either they’re working towards getting rid of her or they’re stupid enough to keep her around longer and have a decline in viewership next season. The backlash is still intense and no one wants a new permanent addition to the team again. It doesn’t make any sense. They’ve been doubling down trying to cut her scenes and she basically only had a few lines per ep. She’s not being developed enough to stay on permanently bc maybe their initial plan was to do so but whatever development she had has been all cut down!
So she’s either here to serve some other purpose or idk what else she’s here for. I’m hoping, after talking to a few of my friends, s/o Kym and Sabrina, that she’s here to guide Buck towards realizing who he really wants to be with. If what @stagefoureddiediaz says it’s true, she’s supposed to be some guiding light for Buck. So if her purpose on the show is for that, ok I get it. But in no way do I think they’re gonna develop them as a couple bc they’re so similar and different at the same time. They’re so incompatible bc she thinks marriages are crapshoots when that’s all Buck wants. And if they were to even get together, he would be backpedaling so heavily into who he used to be. He’s matured and has a lot more to work on himself. So I don’t see them magically grouping those two as a romantic pairing either. So idk why these writers would choose to keep her around but I do think regardless she won’t be around permanently! Remember Tim literally killed off Shannon bc of how much the ga hated her character. He’s not gonna allow her to stay on for too long bc it’ll kill his show!
#juju answers#anon asks#lucy donato#this is the one and only time I’m speaking about my thoughts about this#let’s just plz try and enjoy the rest of this season#911 spoilers#anti bucklucy
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//Okay, now that I'm home again, it's story time! (Personal information under the Read More, and a lengthy explanation behind Why The Fuck My Moods, Emotions, And Brain In General Are Literally All Over The Place)
Did you know that hormonal birth control and Adderall don’t interact well? I sure didn’t! 8D As I’ve mentioned in another post, I have Bipolar II, ADHD, and other issues. For this story, the Bipolar II and ADHD are the important ones.
I was seeing a particular psychiatrist for the last six or seven years, but until this last year, I never considered I might have ADHD, even though all of the signs now and in the past fit like a glove. However, that psychiatrist didn’t believe that adults could have it -- he believed that you “outgrow” it. So I had to jump through hoops to get tested elsewhere.
I was officially diagnosed with it, which is great, because that means I know what I’m working with! But when I brought it up to my psychiatrist, he refused to acknowledge the diagnosis. He also refused to put in my files that my PCP went ahead and started me on Adderall, but was kind enough to, every time I spoke to him for sessions after that, harp about how he disapproved, and how if it had been him, he never would have put me on the medication. I reached a point of accepting that we’d never see eye-to-eye on this matter, started just mentally rolling my eyes at him when he would start up, and admittedly kind of forgot that he refused to put anything at all about it in my records.
Aforementioned psychiatrist retired a few months back, so I was given a new psychiatrist, and all was well, or so I thought.
Fast-forward to the end of last month, I finally saw a gynecologist about excessively heavy bleeding during my monthly cycles, and about the fact that in the days before my period starts, I get extreme mood swings. We decided to give birth control a try, see if that would help with both issues at the same time.
Now, ordinarily my default state of being is low-energy, and I lean much more in the “depressed” direction when it comes to my moods. Two weeks ago at this point, I started on the birth control. Within two days, my mood did a complete 180; I went completely and utterly manic. It was simultaneously awesome, annoying/frustrating, and terrifying, because holy shit I felt amazing, but I was making impulse decisions out the ass(like for example spending $140 on replacement chords, games, and controllers for the Wii. Please keep in mind I had not touched my Wii in very nearly a decade, and I didn’t even know if the thing still worked) and in general I was a total wreck. It was Not Good.
I called the doctor about it, assuming it was the birth control, and after some back-and-forth between myself, her, and the new psychiatrist, we were left very confused as to what was going on -- because birth control shouldn’t have that drastic of an impact on my moods. Not like this, anyway.
It was only when my new psychiatrist was updating my file with the birth control information that I offhandedly mentioned I was also on Adderall, and she just. Had this amazing “AHA” moment on the phone with me, revealing that now she understood: it was the Adderall and the birth control causing the mania, since Adderall is... well, a stimulant.
So I’m off the birth control, my gynecologist has prescribed me an alternate medication, and now I am waiting (im)patiently for the med to finally kick it from my system so that I can return to being a semi-functioning human being.
Tl;dr, I am so sorry to everyone who’s stuck dealing with me OOCly lately. 8′D Please don’t let my current inability to Shut Up For Two Seconds deceive you, I actually have all the confidence and boldness of a sad, soggy, limp noodle.
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20 Questions for Fic Writers
I was tagged by @27-royal-teas <3 thank you, this was so fun!!
Tagging: @bipridemoth @mageshine-dance no pressure ofc!
1. How many works do you have on AO3?
15 under vampylily for bandom, 37 overall. And wow, it's more than i expected???
2. What’s your total AO3 word count?
40,051 for bandom, 125,086 overall. I average about 3.3k per fic since I don’t do well with long or chaptered fics.
3. What fandoms do you write for?
The second half of the year has been solely Fall Out Boy/Peterick lol. I also write for Kpop rpf, A Song of Ice and Fire/Game of Thrones, YA novels, etc. I used to write for Harry Potter and Percy Jackson, but that was a looong time ago and I took a long break before I took up posting fics in 2020 again.
4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?
Bandom:
Liquid Ibuprofen for the Soul (sick fic)
Poprocks, Strawberry, Bubblegum (a/b/o pwp)
Hold Me Like I’m Yours (fake/pretend soulmates)
Thank You For the Venom (Peterickey vampire au)
In Another Life (peterick twin skeletons cinematic universe)
Top 1 overall is the asoiaf fic.
5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?
Yes! Comments are my *favourite* thing about posting fics online. It’s amazing to know that someone out there, a real person, is reading something I wrote (insane!!) It does take me a bit to respond, mostly because I force myself to log off for a few days right after posting. But I do read all of them and go back and read them because it cheers me up and makes my whole day. Thank you to all lovely commenters!
6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?
Ooh, I’d say In Another Life, the three lifetimes when peterick died together and one life they didn’t fic, mostly because it’s literally *all* death and sadness. Patrick has to live a life where he doesn’t even know that his soulmate is missing. Or Don’t Wake Me Up, Gerard has to live with Mikey’s death :(
7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?
Um, does Poprocks, Strawberry, Bubblegum count? I mean it’s all pwp but the ending is the happiest because it’s post-hiatus old married contentness and they’re about to fuck. Otherwise, Down the Rabbit Hole because it’s a meet-cute and Pete and Patrick run off together to start their emo band.
8. Do you get hate on fics?
No. I’ve been very lucky that the fandoms I’ve been in have been quite kind to me.
9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?
Yes. It takes years off my life when I write them and I agonize over it and I never think it’s any good and it takes me like 4 months to post them because I want to chicken out except I’ve spent too much time on it. So far I’ve only posted pwp where the smut is the central point. I’m still trying to figure out how to write long fics and mesh smut and plot together.
10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?
I write a lot of AU but no crossover fic yet. Would love to write one someday, they're so fun.
11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?
Nope. Fingers crossed never.
12. Have you ever had a fic translated?
Kinda? I had someone reach out to translate a Kpop fic of mine, but idk what’s the progress been with it. I think it’s a really cool fic author milestone.
13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?
No. I’m too finicky with my writing to effectively co-write a fic with someone (aka I’m a mess and I don’t know what I’m doing). Another fic author milestone, so maybe in the future.
14. What’s your all time favorite ship?
Oof. I have a *lot* of favourite ships and I never really fall out of love with them either. Some make me want to write fics myself, some I’m a reader/appreciator, some stay dormant for years until it randomly makes me go insane. So no all time favourite ship, but I’m a fan of pete/patrick currently.
15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?
Oh man, I got tons. I have a lot of ideas for fics that I know are out of my creative/skill level. Mostly because it’s long fics! One idea is sentinel/guide peterick au and it’s really intricate and long and it’s about dependent partnerships and physical intimacy and there’s two sides of the story where it’s guide!pete and sentinel!patrick and sentinel!pete and guide!patrick. It only exists in my head because it’s really convoluted and I don’t know where I’m going with it.
16. What are your writing strengths?
Oh, that’s a tough question. Uhhhhhhhhh. Hmmm.
I’m very much an newbie amatuer writer and I struggle with basically every single fic I write. I like to think I’m alright with descriptive stuff? Don’t know yet tbh.
17. What are your writing weaknesses?
Oh verb tenses for sure. I randomly start changing tenses when I’m doing my first/word vomit draft and it’s like girl, what are you doing!! I write whatever scene comes to mind so it’s a pain to edit and make it all fit into a whole fic.
Which leads to another weakness: long fics/finishing wips. I have a ton of wip laying around and it can be really difficult to edit and write more than the specific scenes/lines that first sparked the idea.
18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?
Oh hmm. I’d rather write the English dialogue and put it in italics to signify it’s in a different language. In the fandom I write for there aren't many situations where dialogue in another language is necessary. For example, for Kpop rpf, of course all the characters are speaking Korean, but the fic is written in English because the author speaks English and the reader speaks English, so writing dialogue in Korean wouldn’t make sense. It can certainly work in specific fics/fandoms, but I usually prefer English written in italics when reading.
19. First fandom you wrote for?
First fandom I posted fic for was Harry Potter and Percy Jackson in middle school.
20. Favorite fic you’ve written?
In Another Life, I reread it often and it is always a little funny how much I enjoy it. I quite like all my fics and they’re all fics that I want to read, even if it’s not entirely polished.
#sorry for being late w this toby 😭#hadnt had a chance to sit w my laptop till now#thank u for tagging me <3#tag game#fic writing#vampylily.txt
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The Legend of Heroes: A Tear of Vermillion Rambles - Ending Edition
Yesterday I ended my last session literally one attack from beating the final boss. I did not know it at the time since enemies do not have health bars. But that in itself was about 50 minutes until cutscenes/credits were over, so since I was brushing up against bedtime, it was for the best.
Yes, I have beaten The Legend of Heroes: A Tear of Vermillion. For the first time, actually - last time I played the game, I lost against the final boss and just stopped playing.
Anyway, as usual, spoilers below, so read at your own discretion. Also below is some brainstorming on my next gaming schedule.
I’ll start out by talking about the title of this game. I thought it was named A Tear of Vermillion because of how sad Avin was about losing his red-headed sister and also for the pool of blood that Mile collapsed into. This game is sad and bloody, so tears+red->a tear of vermillion.
But no, the ending explains that tears of vermillion are the bonds of friendship and belief that allow one to exit the land of the dead. Or something to that effect. Nobody was crying at the end (well, Avin did when Mile re-died, but he wasn’t crying when the tears fell). Just everyone’s literal thoughts and prayers descended from the sky as red raindrops and saved the day. ???
Also, Mile was a zombie when he had silver hair. I was unaware of that. But I had previously been confused at the vision in the ice temple where his ghost showed up, since I knew he was alive, and this makes that make more sense.
Speaking of Mile, the ending sequences with Shannon were weird. It’s played for laughs that the poor girl has a huge crush on him, which he doesn’t reciprocate. And it’s just left at that. No breaking it to her, no establishing a different relationship, she just glomps him repeatedly and he acts awkwardly about it.
AvinXRutice I don’t have much to say about other than that I was appreciating how platonic but close their friendship was. Nope, not just friendship after all. My ace brain just likes to see what it likes to see. It makes sense with all they’ve been through, and how they anchor one another.
The credits art was really nice, though I wondered why Archen was there. Avin, Mile, Eimelle, and Rutice were obvious choices. Sage Gawain was reasonable, given he was at the beginning and end of the game, but Archen plays a smaller role than many of the other temporary companions. I guess the artist just liked her. She had a pretty…interesting pose.
And I’m doing all these nitpicks, but really, I enjoy this game so much. The ending left me excited to move onto the next one. Moreso the third game than the second (English order) but that’s probably because in the original order, the third game was next. If the Trails games are anything like this, I can very well see why people binge them.
Still, I’m sticking to my plan of not diving straight into Prophecy of the Moonlight Witch (as that will be my next in this series).
Current plan is:
Detective Pikachu 2
finish Ultra Sun
some non-JRPG (Tears of the Kingdom?)
finish Octopath Traveler
some non-JRPG (Crash N Sane Trilogy?)
Pokémon (maybe finish Pokedex stuff in Shield DLC?)
some non-JRPG
The Legend of Heroes: Prophecy of the Moonlight Witch
And the Scarlet/Violet DLC playthrough being inserted whenever the second half happens to land because new Pokémon games take priority.
So yeah, there is quite a bit to go. A lot of this is cleanup, though, so some shouldn’t take too too long.
But given my renewed interest in the Legend of Heroes, I may change my pattern.
Maybe finish Octopath after Detective Pikachu 2 and make the new JRPG pattern Pokémon->Legend of Heroes->Other.
I have swapped my gameplay schedule from rigid one month one game, two weeks another game, repeat, swapping out games as necessary to: every two weeks, check up on how I feel about my current game. Still engaged in it? Keep playing for two more weeks. Getting a little burnt out? Play something else for two weeks and get back to it. And then anything can interrupt (LoH: AToV did in the first place, and then Detective Pikachu 1 replay and Pokémon SV Mew/Mewtwo event interrupted that temporarily).
Of course, there’s also the fact that Detective Pikachu 2 isn’t quite out yet. This gives me a good chance to play a more relaxing game for the next few days.
Though I’m probably just going to go back to hatching full-time to prepare to bring Pokémon from 3DS up to HOME when the second DLC drops. Datamines indicate my Ribbon Pokémon will be in there, making it the first HOME-compatible game where that is so, and I thus am doing my one-time one-month subscription to bring as much up as I can.
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