#I’m on my bullshit don’t look at me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nocasdatsgay · 3 months

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Have y’all notice that in canon, everyone who meets Nesta that isn’t tied to the IC likes her? Just me?

#cc hofas #house of flame and shadow #hofas spoilers #acotar #nesta archeron #pro nesta #nesta deserves better #I’m on my bullshit don’t look at me

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my-hyperfixations · 27 days

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Me after seeing Dazai and Chuuya find Fyodor’s dummy:

#I cannot be the only one who’s absolutely FINISHED with the Russian man’s bullshit #‘look at me I’m so mysterious no one knows what my ability is-‘ SHUT UP #honest to god he should have been killed thirty chapters ago #I don’t even care I’ll die on this hill #bsd chapter 114 #bungou stray dogs #bsd #bungo stray dogs #soukoku #bsd skk #bsd fyodor #fyodor dostoevsky #fyodor dostoyevsky bsd #bungou stray dogs fyodor #bsd manga

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smokbeast · 6 months

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oh chriminy I’m cooking things , I’ll be real I just see murder boys everywhere but Idk what they’re about, or nightmare. Or error,. But uhm his colors I like..them.. and nightmare is big spooky octo thing, I uh, I’m lost in some kind of thinking sauce

#What if nightmare big #and error scrunkly #he looks like some weird fucked up lost cat #I don’t know what’s wrong with him but oh my god #Also anyone is allowed to inform me I know legit smkmcJDKD NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF EM #I thought snaps was an oc tbh I didn’t know he was a sans au too..#killer?#and the hoodie one is dust right #anyway smoki rambles #I’m thinking they’d be an anti power puff girl bullshit against the bone gang causw they seem to look antagonistic #but I dk if I should without context on what murder trio does JDKDKDM #art #my art #undertale fanart #undertale aus #idk what to tag this really..

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acediaedeus · 14 days

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this does contain them sweet

SPOILERS

what I find really upsetting about Ichigo’s dynamic with his friends/family/mentors is how they treat the fact that he’s part-Hollow. especially when it comes to the Visored and Orihime.

bc yeah, the Visored did struggle with their Hollows, bc they already lived hundreds of years without that aspect. they were comfortable with their shinigami existence, but then this hollowfication bullshit drops on their heads and suddenly they’re not only barely in control of themselves, constantly in a fight with an inner “demon”, but also there’s no one to support them AND they’re getting fucking exiled and then they exist as this tightly knit community of eight for a fucking century with no one to understand them but each other. I’d hate the Hollow in me too, probably.

BUT, then there’s this fresh guy, that hasn’t accepted the fact that he’s now an amalgamation of a million different things, including something that he has been told he has to fight and exterminate, that they have to teach to manage the hollowfication bullshit™️ so what do we do? correct, scare the shit out of him and present existing with a Hollow as amensalism (one is harmed, one is unaffected) or parasitism (one benefits, one is harmed) when it’s more like commensalism (one benefits, one is unaffected), in which the shinigami is clearly the one who’s benefiting from this.

(although we could argue that for the Visored this is a symbiotic relationship in which both are getting harmed, but even then the shinigami still gains benefit and the Hollow gets nothing but hatred, so like, fuck them, lol (I’m advocating for inner-Hollow rights 💀🙏🏻)).

biology lesson out of the way, they essentially do not teach Ichigo anything that would bring long-term benefits (we see this when Ichigo is unable to complete his training with Squad 0, bc he has no fucking idea who Zangetsu (or he himself) actually is (this is, of course, in part his quincy power’s doing, but I wouldn’t say his supposed “mentors” helped much).

in conclusion what does Ichigo get out of this? self-hatred and the habit to suppress what is, whichever way you look at it, a big part of his being, thus blocking himself and Zangetsu from reaching their full potential.

but I guess you can’t teach lessons you haven’t learnt yourself, so there is that with the Visored.

now onto my dear Orihime, who I love dearly (this is a disclaimer). for someone who, supposedly, loves Ichigo more than anything and who we have to take seriously as not only just a potential love-interest, but the actual, one-and-only lover, she is a little bit too scared of Ichigo.

this, of course, for me, begs the question of how am I supposed to accept a love-interest who is consistently terrified of the mc? not a single battle with Orihime present (and Ichigo using the mask) without her shaking in fear and having to be reminded by others (who have known him for much less time than she has), that not only is it still Ichigo in front of her, but he’s also fighting and pulling out the mask he himself doesn’t like much, in order to protect her.

it’s plain and simple upsetting how there’s absolutely no one to accept and embrace the essence of Kurosaki Ichigo. everyone around him wants the shinigami and human in him, no one is interested in the Hollow (except for *ahem* Grimmjow *ahem*), all they do is reject and cower and isn’t that fucking hypocritical after hiding behind his back and begging him to save them?

everyone around Ichigo just really pisses me off with their constant whining. I feel like the only ones who love and cherish Ichigo for the absolute gem of a person he is are Chad and the fucking Arrancars 💀🙏🏻

as I mentioned in the ALT to the last photo in this parade of idiocy: trying to separate and think of Hollow Ichigo and Ichigo as two different entities is crazy and delusional behaviour, bc we have been told countless times, that a person’s inner Hollow is a manifestation of all repressed emotions and traits that they view as unsavoury. which for Ichigo happened to be aggression, cruelty, being merciless and thirst for bloody battles.

let me remind everyone that you cannot truly love a person w/o accepting and acknowledging all their flaws (including yourself).

this is not me trying to say Orihime doesn’t love Ichigo, it’s not really about the characters, more so the writing. I am actively trying to square up with Tite Kubo. for many reasons, but this is one of the ones I pay most attention to.

Ichigo is someone who is in perfect control of himself, who protects no matter what, bc even when he turned into the vasto lorde (after getting his heart ripped out of his chest) it was all his Hollow, yet it still carried out the mission of protection seamlessly, that’s how strong his will is. Kurosaki Ichigo deserves ppl who actually love him around, thank you.

thanks for coming to this ted talk, love y’all!

#bleach #kurosaki ichigo #inoue orihime #ichigo x orihime #kind of #but not really #bc I’m being a hater about them #it’s actually much more #grimmichi #I can’t go a single post about Ichigo without mentioning Grimmjow #they are very dear to me #also #they are in love #visored #I’m an opinionated bitch #can you tell?#literally don’t piss me off about this #I don’t play about Kurosaki Ichigo or Hollows #this is NOT me hating on Orihime I love that girl #I just hate the treatment Ichigo has to endure #my friend had to listen to different variations of this same rant 20 times I think #she’s TIRED #oh also #Chad is mentioned bc I love what he has with Ichigo #truly beautiful #this is what true male friendship looks like #overuse of coloured text for a bigger oomph #surprisingly no italics?#random biological bullshit #this got long

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no1ryomafan · 6 months

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The straights got me in a chokehold again GOD FUCKING DAMN IT

#meg text #the big o #realize I should’ve tagged my big o thoughts as watch #but I forgot so just enjoy random bullshit for awhile #I can’t tell if hets keep getting me despite being gay because I expect this in older anime #or if it’s because I don’t look into the MLM anime scene so I’m not getting my fill #I should at some point but I never like to watch regular romances #but romance? In my robot show? Even if it’s straights? Sign me the fuck up #Granted the dynamic here is interesting because it’s apart of Dorothy humanizing #despite it only being 11 eps-basically half of the show-it feels like a natural development #especially with how hesitant Roger is about this #he clearly likes her but the awkwardness comes from “this is a robot”

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ratskool · 6 months

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I’m like Johnny Truant in the tags of every goddamn post I make or reblog on this site and I’m not apologizing. If you want me to apologize come over to my house and you can talk to the minotaur about it

#House of leaves #im literally going insane these days I should go back to journaling but I’m also afraid of how far off the deep end I’ll go #Literally I am losing it and I’m being serious #I’m so fucking tired of being lonely and being left out and not being able to make connections #Sometimes I feel as if im doing things without realizing and no one is telling me about it #Other times it feels like I must have something incredibly wrong with my face or body and no one will say anything #People make plans and don’t bother to ask me if I want to join and then when I find out there’s a group chat that all my friends are in #Except me and when I asked if I could join I was given a bunch of reasons that were frankly bullshit why I couldn’t join #Are they talking shit about me? I know everybody there it’s not like I am a stranger #Am I just a stranger in this world as I unllikeable? I try my best to be nice and charitable but what am I missing?#Do I black out and say things and do things? Am I more mentally ill than I know?#The only reason (or one of the very few) why I stay alive is because of my horses because I know they would miss me and I already feel bad #Not seeing them everyday #I’m tired of being the odd one out I’m tired of being entertaining when necessary #I don’t want my only friends to be horses because it further alienates me from the rest of society and I just want to be accepted I’m not #Looking to fit in I just want connection and friendship and I can barely seem to manage that #Maybe I’m just not worth it.

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permanentreverie · 1 month

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#ok so mini rant session #i am doing a bit better today - little less distraught over getting fired from a job i thought i was doing pretty good at and i was trying #really hard and genuinely enjoying #and just more baffled because truly i had no warning and i was completely blindsided #i was in the middle of a 3 month trial and i would have a review at the end in which i would be offered a permanent position if it went well #and i thought i was making my way towards that! granted i was still making mistakes but genuinely not of such a great scale i thought it #called for my immediate dismissal #that being said i was still VERY MUCH IN TRAINING. i had only been there A MONTH AND A HALF learning COMPLETELY NEW SYSTEMS #and i was told that i had been there a few weeks already and that i wasn’t catching on quick enough. that there were some areas i was #understanding and others i just simply wasn’t #and i asked what areas specifically so that i could learn more and try harder #and they didn’t give me a specific answer.#ok and so. so. i have this insecurity.#that at first impression people will like me. that they may think i’m pretty or kind or funny or whatever #but then they spend time with me or get to know me and realize that that’s all bullshit.#that i’m actually not pretty and im mean and loud and selfish and lazy and rude and etc etc etc #MASSIVE fucking insecurity in that like that’s why i genuinely don’t have friends or a significant other #and that genuinely i’m just a Bad Person #and when i was fired? i was told ‘a persons true colours show after a few weeks’#so that’s MAJORLY fucking me up.#when i was hired i was boasted to about my boss’s hiring process and how she’s ’only been fooled twice’#and the morning before i was fired in a meeting my supervisor told everyone that i was doing quite well.#so yeah i truly had no fucking warning. at fucking all.#hurt and confused and angry and baffled and did i mention hurt #anyways if you’re still here i’m sorry i know this is not a good look for me

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airlocksandaviaries · 7 months

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Maybe if he wasn’t so submissive and breedable we wouldn’t be in this mess

#you’ll never guess what this is referring to #it is midnight and I’m insane #mutuals don’t look at me #my bullshit #shitpost

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raraeavesmoriendi · 2 months

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that awkward non-binary/genderqueer feeling where you’re agreeing with a post about how you still deal with misogyny (bc you’re still misgendered constantly by a binarist system) and have to negotiate daily life around a certain type of cishet man and their delicate ego (because misogyny is still a veritable force in shaping the world) —

but then someone hits the “GIRLHOOD” drum a little too hard and you start sweating, wondering if this is just another person who’s going to try to overwrite your bodily autonomy and the specific way you move through the world, all so they can reduce you to the uterus you didn’t even want.

again.

#and then rarae says #my experiences overlap with the women in my life #but their experiences are still different than mine in a way I feel deserves recognition #and trying to insist that we’re the same based on our anatomy alone is reductive bullshit that greg abbott and his ilk like so much #there’s someone who moves in similar circles as me who’s been getting a little ‘WOMANHOOD IS PAIN’ lately #and I don’t know if she realizes quite how she sounds #but as a queer person I’m starting to look for the exits #terfs will be blocked on sight bc I have better things to do.

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camifornilla · 9 months

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Uhhhh I watched My Adventures With Superman and

Honestly, to summarize:

Additionally,

#for legal purposes this is a joke #I’m gonna have to add this addendum to all of my posts so I don’t get more bullshit in my DMs #white haired anime boiz are my KRYPTONITE #(pun intended)#If you thought I wasn’t gonna go cuckoo bananas over this man y’all were WRONF #slutty Slutty hoe behavior in the Camille realm rn #I’ve spent like 3 episodes on my phone looking for Slade Wilson content #(from this show)#(grown ass child molesting slade can stay 40 feet away from me)#comic bros plz stay away from my post do not talk to me #I will report you for harassment so fuckin quick #Slade Wilson #Deathstroke #DC Comics #my adventures with superman #Superman

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bpdohwhatajoy · 6 months

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If you need a sign that it gets better here it is.

I sincerely mean this. You have to understand where I’m coming from. I’m mentally ill and traumatized and I’ve been like this for most of my life. So much of my life has been bad day after bad day. When people would tell me shit got better I’d get mad. I would get mad over the word happy because I thought the capacity to be happy had been removed from my brain. I didn’t think it was possible. I genuinely thought I would never get better and I believed it to my core. If you put a gun to my head and said to believe it I would’ve gotten shot that’s how intent I was on this. But if it could happen to me it can absolutely happen to you and it’s never too late for things to get better.

This doesn’t mean things will never be sucky. Of course they will. That’s life. But fuck. I used to have mental breakdowns constantly. I would be in abusive relationships that tore me apart. I lived in so much fear. I was so sick with anxiety. I would tolerate mistreatment from partners and friends and even people I hardly knew. I’d people please to no end. I’d overextend and be everyone’s therapist meanwhile I was drowning with no one to help me. I couldn’t set a single boundary without immediately feeling immense guilt and retracting whatever it was. I let everyone’s opinions on me inform me on who I was. I couldn’t cut anyone off or leave. I’d tolerate so so so much discomfort for the prospect of “love” that was actually abuse. I let things destroy me. I put myself last just like my abusers did. I didn’t stand up for myself. I’d ruminate on my past constantly. I couldn’t let anything go. I read old messages from shitty people like it was my morning news. I was so incredibly hopeless and alone. In all honesty I thought my last abusive relationship would be the end of me. I didn’t think I would survive it or the aftermath when that hit.

But it snapped something in me. That and being played by someone I trusted who betrayed me and took advantage of me. After that I vowed to never again tolerate the shit I had in the past. I gradually started to learn and apply shit I hadn’t ever before. I started to stand up for myself. I started to learn how to stop overextending as much. I started to protect my peace. I started to spend time on myself rather than shitty temporary fucking awful waste of time people. I started to trust my own intuition over what my abusers tried to convince me of. I learned how to cut people off, something that for most of my life I couldn’t fathom. I started to let people have their own opinions on me and not let it ruin my day. So what if someone thinks I’m rude? So what if someone doesn’t like me? I may be more alone than I have been in years but it feels much less lonely than having a bunch of shitty people in my life who are toxic and not genuine.

I’m okay being alone if it means I have my peace, something I used to be terrified of. I’d tolerate mistreatment if it meant I wouldn’t be alone. I smile and laugh easier than I used to. I have fun. I experience joy. I see beauty in the little things like the night sky and the moon or the waves of the ocean or the feeling of fresh air on my skin. I put myself out there more and people actually like me for who I am. I don’t mask nearly as much as I used to. I embrace my interests and parts of me I used to adamantly suppress. I don’t need anyone to make me whole. I’m whole on my own. I don’t think pretending to be something I’m not so people like me is worth it anymore. I don’t let little things destroy and completely color my day anymore. I don’t constantly read old messages anymore. I actually deleted a bunch of old shit from my camera roll for the first time ever days ago.

Like I said I’m not perfect. I still have bad days. My esteem has a ways to go. I still feel dissatisfied with my life at points. My mental illnesses and trauma still act up. I struggle. But my god. My growth is genuinely incredible when I sit back and look at the big picture which I guess I haven’t really done before now. I’m excited to see what progress I make even further as I continue to grow. I’m so different than I used to be and I suppose that’s part of why I’ve lost so many people. They can’t handle me actually setting boundaries and standing up for myself. They banked on my tolerance that’s no more. You will lose (toxic) people when you start becoming healthy which is something no one told me. But it’s so worth it. It’s so worth it.

I’ve made it through so much horrific shit. So many close calls where I nearly took my life or contemplated it. Yet I got through it all and not only that but I changed for the better. I lived to see it get better. If you’re struggling to find a reason to stick around, live for the possibility that things can get better. If they can get better for me, they absolutely can for you. Live for the possibility of joy, ease, beauty, and a life you like.

I made a post on here that blew up awhile ago that said that I wished I killed myself at 15. I disagree with that sentiment. I would’ve missed out on so much growth. I would’ve died without seeing it get better. I wouldn’t have accomplished so much. I wouldn’t have made so much progress. I’m glad I didn’t die at 15. I’m glad I saw things out and I’m on the other side of that despair with a smile.

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stealingyourbones · 2 years

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The want and urge to animate an eldritch horror Danny Phantom is so strong and yet I don’t have the artistic skill or knowledge of particular types of animation to fully do the idea in my mind justice

#bones speaks #you know that one arg channel? _Boisvert #that one #the angel from that #that’s the best way to describe what’s going on in my head #I feel the need to animate and not draw it bc drawing it won’t show the extent of the *wrongness* ya know #angels say ‘be not afraid’ for a damn reason when first meeting people and I need Danny to have the same vibe #sorta holy or divine and visually goes beyond human comprehension so much so that we can only see what our brain can best process #which is to say: some creepy ass bullshit of an amalgam horror creature of colossal size and power #When I look at Eldritch Horror Danny it needs to be so much overstimulation of shit going on that I instantly start dissociating #it needs to be so much at the same time that it genuinely makes you mentally break #if you check out that ARG channel: be warned that it’s main theme is depression and hopelessness. it may send you into a depressive spiral.#it has frightening and VERY unnerving imagery along with religious themes and gore and a LOT of staring #just so y’all know and I don’t accidentally make y’all dissociate or anythin cause that shit nearly instantly makes me lose touch w reality #like I should enjoy watching it bc it genuinely makes me feel bad and yet the curiosity of such an interesting take of the medium an just-#it’s just so cool ya know? stuff Beyond Comprehension and exsistential dread is just FASCINATING.#like Everywhere at the End of Time #that shit? instantly makes me have an anxiety attack and makes me off the rest of the day.#do I find it incredibly intriguing and on the occasion listen to it again knowing damn well that I’m setting myself up for a shitty day? yes #it’s just sO COOL #audio format of dementia is beautifully haunting. I worked for a time volunteering helping dimentia patients. some of them…#they were hollow. empty shells of a person that when I saw them all I could visualize was that awful static from the album just going on and #on forever. there was nothing left. that shit and morality scares the SHIT out of me and equally entices me #tw dissociation #tw memory loss #tw dementia

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mostlymaudlin · 1 year

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….

#man oh man liberal bullshit on my dash in 2023 is an unfollow and soft block 4 me #licherally hat e liberals and their nonsense :-)#ok I might rant hold on I’m just like #literally just saw a post blaming all the transphobia going on rn on pp being not wanting to vote #I am so serious rn I saw that w my eyes #ur liberal president is sitting in office rn doing nothing #my brother in Christ how are u gonna blame tired poor people #whatever. i do vote but I don’t think it matters. Ive voted in a swing state my whole life and the world is still like this #and Blue No Matter Who Bullshit makes me feel like Im talking to a person from another dimension like srsly what are u on #if this is making u mad that honestly brings me joy btw u can unfollow ❤️#I’m too tired I hate seeing political nonsense or current events on tumblr bc I don’t trust y’all to not be #fucking insane LOL #tumblr is for gay ppl kissing and funny jokes only pls don’t make me look at bad opinions #also all of this is US specific btw

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murkycran · 2 months

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Good god my Twitter tl is full of people bitching about like 3 different Hazbin fandom “issues” rn and I’m SO tired of it

Someone made an mpreg poll and apparently that has upset people enough to start saying “DNI if you like CharacterA mpreg” like what even

Someone else said that anyone who sexualizes Niffty must be a pedophile and that naturally stirred up everyone (tbh tho I understand the frustration with that one bc she’s literally an adult into bdsm who watches porn enthusiastically)

And then for some reason a lot of VoxVal/staticmoth people on my tl bitching about Radiostatic like come the fuck on. It is entirely possible to enjoy two different ships y’all. Why yall complaining about it showing up in your tl when you won’t even block the goddamn tags for the ship.

#I’m normally so patient with seeing shit like this but all three of these ‘issues’ are simultaneously blowing up my tl #I was looking for a specific piece of art but I’m just going to give up on that bc I’ve gotten to the point where I’m unfollowing people #people who repeatedly just COMPLAIN #vent #not going to tag this with the fandom tag bc frankly I don’t want to clog the fandom tag with bullshit #unlike SOME people who tag all their complaints and ‘criticism’ with the fandom tags #OH and don’t even get me started how I saw ANOTHER artist pushed out of fandom for headcanoning a character as trans

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kkolg · 1 year

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#You know who y’all are🧍‍♀️#I make goofy shit on the internet calm down #I mean that respectfully/gen #k’s rants #I don’t know you #dont act like you know me #vent sorta??#Look I like you guys #You’re super fun #But there is a very very small percentage that think I’m their friend #I’m not #Not trying to be rude or anything but some ppl just gotta stop their “oh we’re besties right” bullshit #I really only have one best friend online #ONE #Dont think I hate you guys for interacting or chatting every once in a while but some ppl just think they know me #You dont #plain and simple #my bad for going off like that🚶‍♀️apologies

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itspileofgoodthings · 1 year

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My mom to me this week: Maria you’re very pretty, a fact you have always had trouble believing

#look I’m back on my bullshit of talking about my looks again even though I know it doesn’t matter/I have largely moved on from struggling #over it #But sometimes I still DO and I also still like to talk about it #And yeah. Man. I’ve always had such a fraught relationship with my face #this is some Anne of green gables shenanigans but some part of me is like ‘this is not dignified or romantic enough’#like it’s so shepherdess/baker of me #Also a part of me has gotten over that of course #A bigger part of me knows it doesn’t matter and also has let it go #And a part of me has fully accepted that I’m pretty #But really I guess I want to talk about it (to myself I mean) because it just was such a concern of mine for so long #Caused me such angst!!!!!!#Also I don’t think it helped that I got a) no male validating b) a lot of female validation #My high school classmates VERY quick to tell me I was pretty #Me knowing enough to know that it must be a very non-threatening prettiness if they could say it so fast #Also of course packaged in the high school girl snide/silliness of ‘let me do your makeup’ which I never did lol #I did let one girl straighten my hair though which was a fun experiment #I still occasionally LOVE having straight hair #it’s just literally such a new self for me #And it’s funnnnnnn #Anyway the tall blonde at my sister’s wedding who walked across the room to ask me to dance healed a lot more hurt inside me #than he had any idea of #(No he wasn’t the love of my life) (the moment was ROMANCE though)#anyway like. Again. Mostly there is no point to me chattering on about this and I don’t want to gain anything by it #Because I know all the things I need to #It just really is—the way I experience life is still very much being content with my appearance #And then having these FLASHES of either total ego or complete cringe #And both are very intense! I know I know the human condition. The feminine condition! Lol #Okay I’m done. Thanks for listening

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