#I’m not like. analyzing anything or making connections to the real world or looking for meaning.
Text
I Analyzed The Ninjago Movie Instead Of Sleeping
I have real mixed feelings on this movie. But not for the reasons you might think from a fan of the TV show.
The movie didn’t NEED to be connected to the show. And it clearly wasn’t trying to.
It was meant to be an AU in a way.
(If you look at the behind the scenes one of their original rewrites was a plot of them going back in time to save Lloyd’s dad from becoming the villainous figure he is in the present day.)
So I can forgive the inaccuracy so long as it could stand on its own as a proper story.
It doesn’t do that.
If you DON’T compare it to the show:
You got a movie with SOME good jokes, amazing animation, (SERIOUSLY THIS MOVIE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL AND VISUALS ALONE ARE A CHEFS KISS TO ME) but is so strangely paced that it feels like the movie starts at the middle of the story and never shows the beginning, and feels like a completely different movie halfway through, and is also very choppily edited.
(I even double checked a clip of the movie just to prove my point there: When Lloyd uses all his dragon mech weapons on Garmadon, they play the exact same sound effect and explosion, just with different angles, SIX TIMES. FSM WAS THAT EDITOR HUNG OVER WHEN DOING THEIR JOB THAT DAY?! And that’s just one example I’ve got. I think this was the first time EVER when I was in a movie theater and I distinctly remember asking “What is wrong with the editing here? Who thought this was good editing?? Who thought this was appropriate in any way???” So I thank this movie for giving me such a memory and making me value good editing.)
You also got a world that isn’t very well fleshed out, characters that the movie chooses to not focus on except the main character and the main villain. And you got a movie that tells its audience it’s okay to forgive your parents that neglected you and are active terrorists even if they earned or done absolutely no redemption whatsoever.
I mean Garmadon in this movie BETRAYS them and leaves them to rot so he could terrorize the city again at the end. Then gets eaten by the cat. Then Lloyd forgives him. Idk what more you want me to say.
I’m not gonna act like Crystalized did it any better though. Pick your poison.
But then you got fans of the show. The people who watched the show since kids (that includes me). Who are naturally bias towards the shows lore and characterization…
OOOOOOHHH boy…
I don’t hate EVERY portrayal of the ninja in the movie as much as other people. I actually think there’s some good ideas for an AU version of these characters here. Problem is the movie never does anything with them.
Well, I say I don’t hate every portrayal, the one I truly cannot stand is Zane’s.
There’s just so much wrong with how they portrayed Zane that it just does not work. Not as an adaptation of the character. Not in any way that makes sense for this universe and is actually kinda insulting.
There’s no other robots in this city. (Like there are in the show) Why is Zane the only one and why is he in high school? Why would Wu ever pick a robot to be a ninja?
In the show the reason is pretty simple: Wu didn’t know at the time.
But everyone knows in the movie. What’s movie Wu’s excuse?
There’s also in terms of personality.
Keep in mind later seasons of the show have the same issues, so I’m talking about what it was at the time of the movie.
Zane’s whole robot identity is crucial to his character. The show introduced him as ‘the strange one’. As he couldn’t understand social cues, took things very seriously, didn’t share the same sense of humor as the rest of the team, had a hard time displaying his emotions, and bonded with things the others didn’t and excelled at certain areas like cooking.
He’s a character that connected to a lot of neurodivergent people in the audience who could relate to him. No he’s not intentional autistic rep, but one that definitely mattered to the people that headcannoned him as such.
(Also helps that they introduce other robot characters later that clearly don’t have the same characteristics he does. So really it depends on what you see.)
So the reveal that he was a robot was such a huge deal to not just the plot but to him as he finally got a concrete definition of what he is and who he is. And the show NEVER decides to say “You know, it would be so much better if you were a human!”
“Why can’t you just be normal?!”
That’s part of why I personally can’t stand fics that make Zane human. It just doesn’t feel right to me and misses the point of the character.
While I absolutely did not expect the movie to cover his… really heavy backstory with his inventor/father and how he outlived him, then got his memory and sense of identity wiped by him moments before death, which was meant to be an act of sympathy but would actually harm Zane’s mentality for the entire show…
The movie didn’t need to adapt that. For all we know, movie Zane could have a very happy backstory. And that would be fine. All I wanted was for the identity-seeking aspect of Zane’s character to matter in some way.
It didn’t.
The jokes they use for Zane in this movie are that of “Haha, he’s a robot. Isn’t it so funny that he doesn’t understand humanity very well?”
You know, something that in one episode of the show was portrayed as a BAD THING for people to think that of him! And that those people needed to learn to respect him for who he is!
And that’s the ONLY thing they do with him. Just robot jokes. Very stereotypical robot jokes.
Again, later seasons of the show are guilty of this too. So I will not act like the show is perfect.
For the reasons I listed, these are actually far more offensive and harmful than you think. Especially fans of the show watching the movie. Him being the only robot in this movie world makes me think even more that this actually is autistic coding… and that makes it so much worse.
Zane being a robot being equal to autism is its own discussion. And has its own problems on paper alone. Whether or not this is your headcanon of him, and whether or not you think this is good representation either way is up to your feelings and experiences. (Personally I think it’s better than some live action shows attempting this)
The others don’t even seem to trust or want to be around him that much. The others seem annoyed by him half the time. Like they’re only tolerating him because he’s on their team. Yeah they don’t say that but simple looks and gestures are enough to get that impression. And not once does anyone ever express Zane’s value in their team. That’s the ONE thing that would’ve had me forgive this all.
But there’s my rant. The others?
Jay is mostly fine. I think this personality for the movie is a neat AU concept. Yes show Jay is openly terrified of things and awkward, but if there’s something he wasn’t was SHY.
Movie Jay is a shy and nervous wreck. And you know what? For a high school AU, I think it works. It doesn’t erase Jay’s essence entirely. They at the very least kept the detail of his character that he’s a fast learner.
I appreciate that.
Cole is actually a REALLY interesting concept to me with the AU idea they gave.
On the surface it’s just ‘He’s a DJ and willingly old school’
But if you see the show, this is actually an ODD approach. Because show Cole has a very complicated relationship with music.
In the show, Cole’s parents thrived in singing and dancing. His father specifically was a performer that won several awards with his band ‘The Royal Blacksmiths’. After Cole’s mother passed away, his father proceeded to push his ideals and his passions onto his kid and pressuring him to become another version of him. It got stressful enough that Cole ran away from home and resented music, something that used to be a bond of family for them, and that’s where Wu found him and made him a ninja.
Throughout the show, Cole would open up to music again more, but it’s pretty gradual and a very subtle bit of character development for him throughout the show. He doesn’t need to say “I hate making music” to get the point across. He only starts the music route again whenever it has something to do with making a family member, blood or not, happy.
So movie Cole is interesting to me for that reason. Because at the start, he basically IS a mini Lou. His whole thing is music and it’s heavily reflected on his personality.
To the point where his element in the movie isn’t even animated or portrayed as earth like it’s supposed to, instead it’s… sound waves?
Weird choice. Interesting one though cause maybe that’s just how movie Cole functions.
So it’s “Oh, what if Cole DID follow in his fathers footsteps and DID want to become a musician?”
Very interesting approach for a completely different approach of character development.
But the problem? Just like the others, not utilized.
But I do think this was an interesting AU idea. Is it accurate to the show version of the character? No. But that’s kind of the point I think.
Then there’s the RGB siblings. This is where it gets kinda weird for me.
Thanks to the movie, a lot of my friends mistook Kai and Nya for being twins.
They are not twins in the show. Kai is older.
I don’t think that dents their characters too much in the movie so long as the same points were across. They’re the blood related brother and sister who raised themselves when their parents abandoned them, and climbed out of the ashes to protect each other, and found a new expansion on their family that didn’t have to be blood related to count.
These two, in different ways, are the support of the team and especially Lloyd. They’re usually the lancer characters that Lloyd goes to when he can.
I still say that about Nya even though originally, she was NOT a ninja, but rather was a Samurai with a mech of her own invention that acted as a Tuxedo Mask for the ninja. She didn’t become the water ninja until Season 5.
Which… I know the movie takes heavy inspiration from the first two seasons, the beginning, so for those who haven’t seen the show watching the movie… yikes I feel bad about the lack of a spoiler warning. Same goes for Zane being a robot.
But I think that’s also a factor into Kai, at the former half of this show, (again I’m talking pre-movie with this). He was the first character we were introduced to and we’re following in the show before Lloyd ever showed up. So naturally he’d be the one with the most attention to supporting the Green Ninja. Something that was very vital character development for him individually as well.
He’s the old school one. He’s the cool one. He’s the one who looks out for you even if you don’t want them to. He’s the one that will jump to anything without thinking. He’s also the one with the most value in tradition out of the ninja, as a blacksmith instead of a techie and as a traditional sword fighter rather than a fancy complicated weapon. He doesn’t get involved in tech willingly till he learns Twitter is a thing.
And in the movie, I think they took this characterization and said “Eh, give it to the girl instead.”
So most of show Kai’s character traits are now movie Nya’s. She’s the cool one with the most passion for traditional stories, she’s the one with arguably the most talks with Lloyd to calm him, and she’s pretty loud and brash in personality.
Not saying show Nya is not those things, she is. But the difference in the show was that Nya was HUGE on independence and doing her own thing. Being the only woman and a younger sibling in the main cast is actually a big deal to her. Not wanting to have her destiny be decided by the world or her brother as a damsel in distress or a sacrifice, she took to tech to invent her own ways of helping. Her own character.
Until destiny told her “Actually no, you can’t be the person you want to be. You have to stick to tradition that your mother had and be the water ninja.”
That’s… honestly a very brutally honest message that not a lot of people I see give credit for. Cause yes, expressing yourself and being your own person and being able to make your own fate is amazing… but it’s not always possible.
Sometimes you can’t be the person you want. Sometimes the world just will not let you. That doesn’t mean your identity is worthless, though. If you go with the flow, you can actually find that fate has plans for you that might not suck after all.
Basically a ‘It’s A Wonderful Life’ messaging there.
It’s part of why Nya’s whole thing throughout the show is her starting as a damsel trying to reinvent herself and her stereotype, and ending as a willing sacrifice and death of her whole identity that she doesn’t regret because she’s embraced the flow of life and purpose. Even if she forgets herself in the realm of spirituality, her loves one’s never will.
…Until Crystalized undid ALL of that. BUT LETS NOT.
Movie Nya just really isn’t any of that. She’s basically just her brother.
Which… I’m actually fine with. The show has some bumps in the road in execution of her story anyway. And they want the only female of this team to not be a background character cause that’s look bad. I totally understand that. And her being a sibling to Kai makes me forgive it a whole lot more cause it does make sense.
But again, we don’t know what their lives are like or if they have similar backstories to theirs in the show at all.
But where does that leave Kai?
Well his whole character in the movie seems to basically be “I’m the loud one and a complete klutz and meathead.”
Basically TD Tyler.
It’s a personality in the movie that bled in the show post movie. While I personally think it was not THAT bad in the show, Secrets of the Forbidden Spinjitsu made me go “Okay. I understand now.”
As for movie Kai, that’s really about it.
It really was an early indicator of just giving Kai’s character traits to other characters. Before the show was visibly doing it.
Cause movie Lloyd is also basically just Kai but with a different backstory and context to situation. But honestly, I DO see what they were going for here.
As the ONLY ninja to get ANY focus, this version of Lloyd is well explained on what his life is.
In the show, he’s an abandoned child in an abusive boarding school who heavily idolizes his father, Lord Garmadon, and runs away to become a super villain. Only for Destiny to tell him not to, and we see his true colors and that he just wanted his family together and to love him. Something that was… hard. Considering who Garmadon is.
That is actually carried into the movie. Just cut out him running away. Here’s the difference.
Show Lloyd loves his dad and refuses to hurt him until he has to. While he is the Green Ninja, he didn’t resent himself being Garmadon’s son. What he resented was the destiny that took them apart.
Movie Lloyd HATES his dad for abandoning him, terrorizing the city, making said city cancel him for EXISTING, and he wants every excuse to shut this man out of his life forever.
That does make sense. And to the movie’s credit, the movie logic DOES work to make this version of Lloyd make sense.
It makes the movie pretty mean spirited and kinda unpleasant at times. But it works for the story.
I described Lloyd as ‘The Emo Child’. In the show. But that’s two words.
Emo. CHILD.
He’s still a kid. He’s still the youngest. He still has his own child-like wonder of the world and the aspirations that of a child would.
Yeah he’s a lot of angst. But he’s also a sweet kid who deserves hugs.
That’s not very apparent in movie Lloyd. Not that it needs to fit movie context.
But because we never see how the ninja in the movie got together, we have no idea why Lloyd even accepted being the Green Ninja in the first place. He even says in the movie that he’d give it up if it meant he didn’t have to be Garmadon’s son.
Movie Lloyd is the only ninja in this movie with an actual character arc. He resents his dad, tries to be rid of him, only to get consequences for it, goes on a quest to fix his mistake, bonds with his dad to learn he’s… sympathetic? I guess?? And in the end forgives his dad and chooses to let him in his life again.
Simple. Fine. It works on Lloyds end just fine. And I have to give credit for the movie making Lloyd resenting Garmadon more logical than Crystalized ever did.
It’s Garmadon’s end that just makes the whole thing a bad message in the end of ‘forgive your abusers.’
Yes he’s funny. That doesn’t undo his actions.
No it’s not undone in the show either, but at least you can buy the forgiveness there because every character knew that he had no choice.
In the show, Garmadon is the Oni Child of the FSM. Thus all it took was for another Oni creature, the Great Devourer, to trigger his blood and FORCE him into the evil role without his consent. It forced him to do nasty things to his loved ones and the land his dad created, and by the time he became his evil form, he was forcefully stripped away from all of his loved ones and a chance at normal life. So the only way he could ever get that back was to turn the world into his own image, thus having the world become him too. A monster.
The show made it abundantly clear that most of Garmadon’s evil deeds are either out of ambition for what he deems as helping the family, or not his fault at all due to snake venom influence.
I THINK the movie also has this because they do address him getting bit and becoming the creature he appears as in both versions.
Better than nothing I guess.
But then you get his ‘sympathetic backstory’ which is pretty much just a love story between him and Koko-
Yeah Lloyds moms name is actually different in both versions. And in role.
Misako abandoned her child to try and solve the destiny crisis, then returned to his life to help her kid out.
Koko remained a mother to her kid and supported him even when everyone hated him.
These are very different characters basically, and which one you prefer is up to you. Personally… I actually prefer the movie. I do think the mom was the one character that the movie actually improved upon. Especially with a very interesting story for her.
In the show, Misako is a researcher and just the fair maiden figure that Wu and Garmadon fell in love with. To which she chose Garmadon because of Wu’s letter that Garmadon forged his name on… it’s complicated.
In the movie, she was actually a fighter as well and took a part of the wars Garmadon was in. She enjoyed the thrill of the fight and fell in love with her opponent in a pretty cute montage.
But then they had a baby and her reality changed, realizing she could not raise her child on the battlefield. And when Garmadon refused to change his mind, she took Lloyd and left him behind. So she could be a mother.
Explains her actions in the movie all throughout very well and I never got lost when it came to her. She’s probably the one character in the movie I felt the most sorry for. She’s such a sweet parent and her interactions with Lloyd are probably the best parts of the movie. I wanna hug her.
But that’s all that’s shown of Garmadon. Apparently Garmadon was oppressed, but that’s told at the end and not shown or been significant at all.
They don’t hate you cause you look funky. They hate you cause YOU TERRORIZE THEIR CITY ON A DAILY BASIS AND SHOOT PEOPLE OUT OF A VOLCANO
Yeah show Garmadon did similar stuff, but again, WASNT HIS CHOICE.
Here, it’s absolutely his choice cause nothing indicated otherwise.
Garmadon doesn’t even PROCESS his kids existence or his own negligence three quarters of the time. And you expect me to buy a redemption from him?
You know, I’d be fine with it if he was just a one dimensional villain and the story of the movie was about Lloyd putting his energy away from a family that doesn’t care about him and more towards a surrogate one he has.
But no. You gotta have Lloyd forgive Garmadon and have Garmadon redeemed.
Cause that’s what the show did.
Even though this is supposed to be an AU not connected to the show so we can do whatever we want.
The most they do for Garmadon’s redemption is force him to be the mentor after Wu got yeeted off a bridge by a butterfly, have him go “Oh yeah, I DID shoot people out of a volcano!”, teach his son how to catch, and tell his son his backstory.
(Speaking if, Wu to me is basically the same. Just different voice actor delivery. I got nothing to say on him)
And then if that IS redemption, then he failed it. Because he offers Lloyd to be his general when they take over the city again, showing he’s learned nothing. Then when Lloyd says no, he steals their magic weapons and ditches them in a temple leaving them to DIE. Then he goes to terrorize the city again.
What redemption. /s
Again, this was all HIS choice. If it was not and if it was snake venom, they couldn’t at least give a visual cue or address it?
And now LLOYD has to apologize?
NO. LLOYD WAS RIGHT. THERES ABSOLUTELY NO REASON WHY HE SHOULD LET HIS DAD INTO HIS LIFE. THE DAD HIMSELF PROVED THAT.
It just paints an unintentional bad message of ‘you have to forgive your abusers’
I’m sorry but Lloyd doesn’t owe this Garmadon anything.
I do like Lloyd’s VA delivery though, and the speech about green being the color of life. I actually like the idea of Lloyds power being his heart. Yeah it’s not flashy powers like in the show, but for an AU, it’s a really cool idea and I wish they used it more.
I have mixed feelings on the celebrity casting. Did I expect the original voice actors? No. But this casting wasn’t awful.
Garmadon’s VA is amazing in this movie. Jackie Chan as Wu is very subjective I feel, love it or hate it. Nya and Jay’s were really good too. I think the only one that didn’t work for me was Kai’s VA. Just… why does this teenager sound like a 50 year old man??
But honestly, I think the thing that got to me the most about the movie was something I praised about the show not too long ago.
The bond between the ninja.
I talked about how the show is a master class at character dynamics. There is almost no point where the characters are just standing there in one big clunk. Someone is saying something, someone is making a comment, someone is doing something, and it’s usually there for others to see and react to. It’s a very small thing, but it keeps the scenes alive and fresh the whole time and helps the audience be sold on the characters bond.
They don’t wait for the scenes of “Okay it’s time for characters to interact”. They just do it all the time.
And guess what the movie did? They’re just there in one big chunk all the time. With “okay it’s time for characters to interact” bits.
It’s one thing to not explore the other ninja at all. It’s another to ignore their bond.
In the show, they’re a found family. They all had rough upbringings in life and find a new sense of purpose in each other.
That’s NEVER emphasized in the movie except for one speech at the end Lloyd makes. Mostly cause we don’t know the other ninjas lives, and we don’t know how they even got together. Cause as I said, the movie starts at the middle, and awkwardly cuts after Garmadon is forgiven to be the end. We don’t know what it is about THIS ninja team that we should care about. It’s not shown.
All were shown is them being a team by circumstance only. Then Lloyd pulls out the cat laser and the cat nearly kills them. Then they hate Lloyd for it and spend the rest of the movie making fun of Lloyd.
Which yeah they make fun of each other in the show too, but where it ended in the show was playful teasing in the middle of moments that showed they cared about each other. And when one bond between two or more of them was broken, you felt it.
Here? I don’t know that and there isn’t anything besides the high school montage to show they cared. Just some comments about “Oh it’s okay Lloyd, it’s just awkward that your dad is a terrorist”. And then they make fun of Lloyds expense.
It’s mean spirited. It makes me think they don’t like each other. And it’s not like they ever apologize for it. They’re just teammates because Wu said so. They’re just tolerating Lloyd cause Wu said so.
Honestly the bloopers for this movie show more personality and more of this bond than the entire movie does.
…OOF that took awhile. I don’t even know why I did this, I just didn’t feel like sleeping. Uh… you read this, congrats. Idk why you did.
#lego ninjago#ninjago#ninjago movie#the lego ninjago movie#ninjago lloyd#lloyd garmadon#ninjago garmadon#lord garmadon#ninjago wu#sensei wu#ninjago kai#kai jiang#kai smith#ninjago misako#ninjago nya#nya smith#nya jiang#ninjago cole#cole brookstone#ninjago zane#zane julien#ninjago jay#jay walker
58 notes
·
View notes
Text
Dazai osamu: Evolution
In a lot of ways this is where my Dazai analysis will really start, this is going to be insanely long so be prepared. It also has spoilers of the manga, anime, and most of the light novels.
I’ve talked about how is a mistake to measure Dazai’s character growth in terms of morality, because that has never been the main point of his characterization. Being a “good” or a “Bad” person is not as important as the fandom makes it to be. Dazai is unapologetically a morally grey character and he will always be. However, this doesn’t mean that Dazai hasn’t changed.
He has and it goes far beyond him changing into a boring trench coat and calling himself a detective. He has changed so fundamentally speaking that I’d go and say that right now is the most developed character in this area and the thing that make this even more surprising is that his character growth has not finished yet. He keeps evolving.
To understand this let’s start analyzing him chronologically:
Fifteen year old Dazai is probably the lowest we’ve ever seen Dazai. Starting fifteen, Dazai is showed to us as someone who genuinely wants to die, he is /not/ attempting suicide as a joke, is not a comedic relief. Fifteen year old Dazai wants to die with a desperation that borders on madness. He is so tired of living, so bored of life and the people that surround him, about how predictable they are, about how easy is to manipulate them, there’s not a thing in this world that can surprise him, he is living in this permanent state of numbness. He is completely lonely in a world that will never be able to understand him. And let me make a pause to talk about the fact that it has been /heavily/ implied that Dazai was living in this situation for a long time. People loves to blame Mori for Dazai’s personality but this is simply and canonically speaking not true.
Dazai has already formed most of his worse personality traits by the time Mori found him. Let me remind you that they met when Mori saved Dazai’s life /after/ he attempted suicide at fourteen. Fandom loves to act as Dazai was a perfectly healthy kid that Mori ruined when that’s not true. Mori made it worse, yes. But he wasn’t the cause of it.
“Miscalculation.
You misjudged the situation, he told himself. You failed to pick the optimal solution. You shouldn’t have chosen this child to help you. Dazai is unpredictable. He can be sharp but in a dark, twisted way. He’s observant. He’s cold and calculating with no equivalent even in the mafia, where the most evil reside”- Mori about Dazai, ligh novel fifteen.
I will talk about this more depth in another essay about Soukoku and the mafia but this is important to aknowledge. Dazai was like this even /before/ Mori’s influence, Mori was scared of him even when Dazai was just a child because he saw how deeply disconnected from his humanity he was. How cruel, cold and calculating he could be.
So going back to the main idea, at this point of the story, Dazai is already numb, manipulative, and machiavellian, he doesn’t trust in anyone and his only real connection is with Mori that looks at him like a convenient weapon to wield. But the most important trait of Dazai at this age? Is how deeply apathetic Dazai is to everything. At this stage of life Dazai lives in a pure nihilism, he doesn’t believe in /anything/, he conceives life as completely meaningless, he doesn’t see a point in existing when there’s no a reason for it. It’s so bad that it’s funny. Mori knows about the /raw/ potential in Dazai, about how valuable he can be as a tool but he can’t use him because Dazai is so unmotivated that he simply doesn’t give a damn about anything. He is a genius and he only uses his intellect to try to kill himself. He can’t be bothered with anything else, even breathing is an annoying task and a waste of effort and then…this happens:
I’m not pointing this out as a soukoku shipper because this is not even a soukoku analysis, this is all about Dazai. People will always talk about Fifteen importance for chuuya, but fifteen was also fundamental in Dazai’s arc.
Cold and apathetic Dazai was literally kicked in the face by his biggest narrative foil. Chuuya who is loud, and ridiculously emotional, who can’t for the life of him hide his expressions, who is a terrible liar, impulsive, pathologically loyal to the point of idiocy, and so fucking full of vitality, so hungry for life. And so /unbearable human/. And then Dazai gets annoyed, and surprised, and out of nowhere he is screaming at the top of his lungs, showing /emotion/, he is curious, he is intrigued. He went from saying that breathing is such a hassle to fucking throwing a party and singing happily while he, in person, decorates, he even got a cake for fuck’s sake.
He doesn’t understand chuuya, he is curious about the sheep dynamics and as the story progresses we realize that this is probably the first time that Dazai fucks up, he failed to predict a situation, he didn’t saw it coming.
He wasn’t able to realize that Chuuya was Arahabaki, he didn’t even thought about that possibility. Because since the first moment, he never thought that chuuya could be something else than human. He didn’t saw Rimbaud coming because the idea of a person going that far for someone else? Is ridiculous, it doesn’t make sense, is illogical. It’s not how people are supposed to act.
“-So it’s all for your partner-Dazai said listlessly- Betraying the mafia, spreading rumors about the old boss’s resurrection, this fight we’re in now…it’s kind of hard to believe, to be honest
-Maybe for a slimeball like you it is- Chuuya scoffed. He looked up at Randou- Throwing everything away for your friends is a perfectly respectable reason to risk your life if you ask me”- Dazai and chuuya, fifteen years old. (Pause to scream about how much I love chuuya, help)
So basically every thing that happened in fifteen leads to this:
And this guys, is one of the angular stones in Dazai’s development.
“The boy’s eyes were as clear as the sky on a sunny day; they lacked any shred of trepidation. This was not something earned, for only those determined to live could possess their heavenly blue sparkle”- about Dazai, fifteen.
This is the /only/ moment in the entirety of the series where Dazai not only doesn’t want to die, but that he /actively/ is looking towards life. The only moment in all bsd, Dazai is excited at the perspective of living. Fifteen is so important because this is the first time, Dazai’s view of life is challenged. Dazai was wrong. He made mistakes. People are not as predictable and boring as he thought. Dazai doesn’t suddenly start thinking that life has meaning, but he starts thinking that it /may/ exist, he just hasn’t found it yet.
This scene makes a radical switch in Dazai’s character because his primary goal changed from wanting to die to finding a reason to live.
In fifteen Dazai found hope, and everything that came after is possible because of this.
And it’s logical to an extent. He doesn’t understand life, but maybe if he understands death he can come closer to understand it. People always lie but when they are about to die? People become genuine, pretensions disappear, what do you cling to when you don’t have anything? When you’re dying, why do you keep fighting? If he can understand this, then maybe he can understand the sense in life. Maybe he can connect with his own desires and emotions. Maybe he can find his own reason to exist.
Unfortunately this doesn’t last.
By stormbringer, Dazai falls into despair once again, he goes back to looking for his death.
“Dazai glanced back at him, perhaps amused by this, then he muttered as if he was talking to himself. -I couldn’t find anything in the end’- Dazai osamu, stormbringer
“It seems true that he wants to die. It seems that all the value standards of living reflected in his eyes are just as worthless and ugly as scrap iron”- Oda about Dazai, The day I picked up Dazai osamu side A, translated by poppopretty
For a long time, I thought that was the culmination of Dazai’s development as a character. He went from wanting to die to trying to find a reason to live, he struggles but he is trying.
I was wrong.
Chuuya solves his main conflict in stormbringer, Dazai doesn’t. To understand this, we need to understand that one the main themes in Bungou stray dogs is existentialism.
In simple (extremely simple) words existentialism can be defined as: “ the philosophical belief we are each responsible for creating purpose or meaning in our own lives”. Which means that in a way existentialism also understands that life can be meaningless, that maybe there’s not a big purpose in existence BUT that doesn’t have to mean that it has to stay that way. Existentialism defends that people can find their own purpose and maybe is not something big, it may be not life changing for others, but is something people cling to and that’s enough to give sense to the world. I will be talking more in depth about this in chuuya’s analysis but right now the important thing is to understand that this is not enough for Dazai.
He /needs/ a bigger purpose, a better answer, something objective and logical, something that can’t be debated. Because if it’s not, then Dazai’s genius mind will pick on that and he will once again be drown in desperation. Dazai needs an absolute answer.
Enter oda, the catalyst of Dazai’s next biggest arc as a character. But first let’s understand sixteen year old Dazai’s perspective of live, shall we?
“- you said it is foolish to die, right? So here is my question. If dying is foolish, then why do we have to die?
(…)
-So, you mean life is not something to regret?
-No, it is worse than that. Even though we are all promised death, from the beginning, all human beings were born with a present desire called “I don’t want to die”. This is also one hundred percent true. That is why, that desire will never be fulfilled”- The day I picked up Dazai Osamu, transplanted by poppypretty
So, to summarize Dazai can’t understand what’s the point in living if by the end there’s no real point in it. There’s nothing there, there’s not a reason to suffer so much because that’s what he is doing. He is suffering. He is all alone, feeling like an alien in a world of humans, just using a mask and trying to hide how really inhuman and empty he is behind all of that and for what? The world is senseless. Worse than that, there are not a lot of things he cares about but when he finds something worth preserving, he loses it. Dazai is in a horrible situation because his intelligence alienates him and isolates him from other people but it’s not enough to win against the senseless of life. He lives at edge, trying to predict and control everything to protect himself and the things important to him, he purposefully goes along with the alienation and isolates himself more thus going farther from his humanity, and at the end is worthless. Because it doesn’t matter how intelligent he is, is still not enough, he will never be able to control everything, he will never be able to predict everything with 100% of accuracy because life doesn’t work in that way, is all about chaos. And Dazai can’t deal with that.
Time passes, by eighteen years old, Dazai in a lot of ways gets worse. He is the “Demon prodigy” destructive, cruel, a master in torture and his mental state continues to get worse and worse but funnily enough he is still standing and that’s thanks to two things:
1) the hope he found at fifteen and never let him. Yes, Dazai goes back to wanting to die because life sometimes becomes unbearable but his goal is still to find a reason to live. And that didn’t changed.
2) his friends. Odasaku, Ango and Lupin bar are important things for Dazai. He is still lonely but it’s a little better
Then everything goes to shit.
But I want you to understand this. After Oda decides to die, Dazai tries to stop him and this is what he says:
“-Find something to rely on. Expect good things to happen from here on out. There’s gotta be something…Hey Odasaku, do you know why I joined the mafia? (…) I joined the mafia because of an expectation I had. I thought if I was close to death and violence-close to people giving in to their urges and desires, then I would be able to see the inner nature of humankind up close. I thought if I did that…I would be able to find something-a reason to live”- Dazai Osamu, Dark era.
This is frankly tragic, because just as I said in previous analysis. Dazai’s worse trait, the real cause of all his suffering is his complete lack of self awareness. His main problem is not his lack of understanding of life, is the lack of understanding of himself. He thinks that understanding human at their most basic, desperate state will make him understand better humankind and that ultimately will make him closer to his humanity. But that’s not how it works. He can’t just watch from afar and expect that to be enough. Dazai needs to connect with himself, even the worse parts of himself, even the parts he doesn’t want to see instead of covering them up, he needs to let himself bond with other people, he needs to connect with his own emotions and desires. He needs to leave his overly complex ideas behind, to go down from the high horse he is in, to stop with the omniscient being act that aggravate his isolation and alienation, the things that ultimately make him perceive himself as something inhuman. He needs to accept that at the end of the day he is just human, just like the rest of the world and he is just as powerless as them.
Now let’s go to arguably Dazai’s most important scene as a character: Odasaku’s death
People love to make this scene about soukoku and it’s fucking ridiculous.
People will take this scene and put it as evidence for the “Chuuya’s always the second choice” theory that they came up with (even if the whole theory is fucking ) but specifically this? Dazai leaving the mafia? Has nothing to do with chuuya. It’s part of his /individual/ character development and exactly what it should be.
Let’s start analyzing it
Dazai arrives and Oda is dying, he is desperate to save him even when he know is too late and the Odasaku says something. And this, this guys is what ultimately leads to Dazai’s character growth.
“-you told me if you put yourself in a world of violence and bloodshed, you might be able to find a reason to live (…) you won’t find it-Odasaku said in an almost whisper. Dazai stared at him- You should know that. Whether you’re on the side that takes lives or the side that saves them, nothing beyond your own expectations will happen. Nothing in this world can fill the hole that is your loneliness. You will wander the darkness for eternity”
“ That was when Dazai first realized: Sakunosuke oda understood him much more than he’d ever imagined- right up to his very heart, almost to the center of his mind. Dazai didn’t realize until then that someone had known him so well. For the first time in his life, Dazai wanted from the bottom oh his heart to know something. He asked the man before him:
-Odasaku, What should I do-“- Odasaku and Dazai osamu, Dark era
This is the most important scene for Dazai. He has always been lonely, he has always lived with the knowledge that it doesn’t matter how much he tries, no one will ever able to understand him but then just minutes before oda’s death he realizes he was wrong. To say that he left the mafia for oda is as inexact as saying that he decided to live for chuuya. It’s simply not true. He was heavily influenced by both of them but at the end of the day it was for himself.
“People live to save themselves”
I’ve say it before but this sentence is the core of bsd. If you want to analyze a character in this series, not matter who, you need to start by this quote. Dazai is not the exception to it.
He joined the mafia trying to find his own salvation, to get closer to his humanity, to find his reason for living, to find answers and he left because he realized it was useless. He always knew in a way, but he couldn’t bring himself to leave because this was his only chance, the mafia was his only hope, was the only thing he was clinging to. Even in his worst moments, Dazai still clung to the idea that he would find what he was looking for. But then, while dying oda talks to him and he realizes that there was someone who understood. Someone who knew about his pain, someone who understood his desperation, someone who looked through the mask and realized how utterly broken he was. And thing is, he failed, he tried the logical option and he found nothing but then maybe oda, oda who knows him best, oda who probably understands him better that he understand himself can tell him what to do. That’s why Dazai is so desperate in this scene, asking what to do. Because this is a new chance, there’s new hope. What Oda said might sound horrible but it was exactly what Dazai needed to hear and is the reason I was wrong.
Dazai doesn’t read as a character who went from wanting to die to wanting to find a reason to live.
Because to begin with, what Dazai was looking for was completely unreachable because it doesn’t exist. He can be looking for a reason to live all his life and he won’t find it because there’s not an absolute answer. There is not a bigger motive. The world really is senseless, that’s how it is. And Dazai needed to understand that. That’s why oda tells him to forget all about that silly hope. Because is useless.
“Be on the side that saves people. If both sides are the same, then choose to become a good person. Save the weak, protect the orphaned. You might not see a great difference between right and wrong, but…saving others is something just a bit more wonderful”- Oda Sakunosuke, dark era.
But that doesn’t mean than living is worthless
And this is how we come to Dazai’s real change as character. Dazai goes from nihilism, to a failed attempt of existentialism to absurdism.
Absurdism is the philosophical theory that existence in general is absurd, meaning that the world lacks meaning or a higher purpose. It also refers to the discrepancy between two things such as: the conflict as a colission between a rational man in an irrational world. In simple words, absurdism refers to the struggle of the man to find sense in a senseless world and we can see the mental impact of this struggle in the form of existential crises (yes, just like Dazai) Okay so I swear this made perfect sense in my own language, I’m gonna try as best as I can to explain it in English. Absurdism is different from existentialism because it doesn’t think that you can find a sense in the world, it really defends that not matter what you do, you will never find anything, that it doesn’t matter what you cling to in the great scheme of things it still means nothing, and in a way this need to find a sense in life will lead to more chaos BUT it also defends that you have to keep living despite that, maybe out of pure spite of it. Things doesn’t need to make sense to be worthy.
Absurdism says that there are three options to deal with this problem
Suicide: the pure desperation of trying to reach something that doesn’t exist will lead to the rejection of life. But this is not the correct answer (Cough, young Dazai, cough)
Religion: trying to cope, clinging to the idea that there’s a higher purpose. (Cough, Fyodor, Cough)
Rebellion against the absurd: which is the right answer, the individual needs to learn to accept the absurdity of the world and of his own existence but keep opposing to it. Which means, that the individual keeps living clinging to little things that may not have sense, but that are still worthy and valuable. In even simpler terms, absurdism says “do what you have to do to stop from killing yourself, not matter how stupid that thing is”
Cadmus explained it even better using this example:
You all know about Sisyphus, right? If not is basically this man that was punished by the gods. The punishment consisted of rolling a massive rock up a hill, but it doesn’t matter how hard he tried, at the end of the day, once the rock reached the top it would roll down again. So it was a completely senseless punishment. Not matter how Sisyphus tried he could never win against the absurdity of it. And this also happens with human lives, we do meaningless things all the time, knowing that at the end we will die. Not matter what we do, if we end up as vagabonds or if we find the cure against cancer, the result is still the same, we will all die, so everything we do in life is pointless. BUT Cadmus said that you still can’t give up. Because at the end, sisyphus needs to stop caring about something that he can’t change, the result will always be the same but the important thing is the instant of happiness when he comes close to finishing his job. The moment when the rock reaches the top? seconds before it rolls down, that satisfaction? Is what life is really about. And that’s exactly what Dazai is trying to do right now.
He won’t find sense in life, but being in the ADA is a little more beautiful and that alone is reason enough to be there. Maybe he is not a good person, maybe he doesn’t understand morals but he is with people he has come to appreciate in a better environment doing something that he enjoys more and that’s enough.
There’s this omake in bsd that shows a conversation between Atsushi and Dazai. And Atsushi asks Dazai, why he is in the ADA because someone as intelligent as Dazai can surely find a job with better pay, and Dazai looks at him and tell him that it’s true, but he is fine where he is because he likes to use his brain to help people. That guys, is absurdism right there, Dazai acknowledges that it may not makes sense but he likes what he does and that’s enough.
This change has been gradual and Dazai still struggles with it. He still has problems with the idea of letting things go, he still is a manipulative bastard and that will never change, because at this point is just a part of his personality, he still is trying to control everything but at the same time he also is ready to accept that sometime you just don’t have the answers and that’s part of humanity. This is one of my favorite panels on earth:
Dazai is trying to convince kyouka of living, to choose to do something different from the things she’s good at, if that what makes her happy. This is one of the few scenes Dazai accepts that he is not omniscient, that there are no answers for all the questions, and that we are all a little lost because of it. This is also the first time Dazai is not in desperation while saying it. His growth is not about becoming a good person, he still does horrible things, but that doesn’t mean he hasn’t changed. To accept that life is senseless but it still is worthy, to accept that he can’t control everything but the possibilities of it are not necessarily something to be afraid but opportunities? /That’s/ his character growth
This whole arc is a masterpiece because it highlights Dazai’s growth. He is against Fyodor, who in a lot of ways is just like him but at their core they are completely different.
This hands down is my favorite Dazai’s panel because is all about his growth. Because he can see what Fyodor doesn’t. Fyodor see himself as a god, Dazai doesn’t because he knows that it doesn’t matter if they are pulling the strings, they are still isolated and alienated from everything, the people that really is moving the world is the one out there, the people that jumps even when they don’t know if they will be caught. The people that don’t know half of what they know but still are able to move in the middle of the uncertainty. And that’s something that neither Fyodor nor Dazai are able to do. But Dazai is no longer in pain because of that, he now understands the problem and is trying his best to overcome it. Dazai stopped resenting the world for being senseless and illogical and is learning to accept it and just adapt as best as he can to it. To give everything for the people he cares about even when there’s no guarantee that it will end well, but Dazai is trying and that’s what matters.
I really wish I had the time to make a better analysis but I don’t. Even then, I wanted to share my pure love and admiration to this character. Dazai is so beautifully written and by far the most complex character in this whole story, all of his development as a character is simply fascinating and the way Asagiri is writing him right now has me screaming and running in circles.
#bsd#bungou stray dogs#dazai bsd#dazai osamu#soukoku#skk#dazai analysis#bsd spoilers#this is annoyingly long
183 notes
·
View notes
Note
Hey! I just saw that you reblogged a post of mine on Loki's powers a while ago. And while I completely agree with your tags (Loki's powers in the tv series among other things), you also write that the show was originally written for a different character and only the names were changed and the magic added later on. I've never read that anywhere, could you explain? It would make so much sense given how different Loki is in the show and how his previous experience is largely disregarded.
Hi there!!
It took me a while to answer this because of real-life stuff, but now I’m there!
By saying the show was written for another character I referred to this analysis on Twitter which again links back to another analysis on Tumblr. (The original link in Twitter is broken, but I found the post manually). I read this analyses a while back, and admire people who were able and willing to read Waldron’s original script. For me, it reads like an insincere column on what a deeply conservative person assumes would be what a left-leaning, progressive audience would like to hear without understanding anything about the points he tries to mirror. I can't add much to the original posts.
However, Waldron’s comments about Loki, including the “he’s an ass and that makes him easy to write” as well as his jokes on never having watched Thor 1 before writing the series can certainly give you the idea he never knew much about our beloved blorbo before writing him. The fact that he thought making Loki say “he doesn’t enjoy killing people but does it anyway for his personal gain” (rephrased) would make TVA Loki in any way redeemable is telling imo.**
Now, technically this is all I can say to your ask, BUT I realize I never truly elaborated on the stuff I mentioned in said tags, so here is an explanation for everyone who would like more about it.
I read those a while back and took my basic analyzing skills to the test by taking a look at Loki and how writing for a character works in general. This has two aspects (I can think of from the top of my head).
If a work is written for one special character it should be impossible to achieve the same plot if he was replaced by another character without the special abilities.
One thing I read a while back (and sadly forgot where) is that both sex and fight scenes are both character exposition scenes. This is true for magic as well, just it gets rarely used since in all of literature there aren’t that many characters who possess magic.
In the Thor movies, Loki’s magic is masterfully used, showing that the works were actually written with Loki in mind. Both Thor 1 and the dark world would simply not work if you put -let’s say Fandral- in Loki’s position. Loki’s skill to find the pathways between worlds is essential. And his ability to make himself invisible is essential for Thor 1. I could go on, but you get the idea, and I don’t want to get this too long to read.
Regarding the character exposition, Loki’s magic in the first movies was a mirror for his characterization (as it should be). He could make himself invisible, for he has been invisible to his family. He could cast illusions since he learned that people preferred an illusion to his real self. He could make others manipulate into saying what he wanted them to say because that was how Loki survived on Asgard (post-credits scene of Thor 1).
In TDW, we see Loki’s anger and frustration manifest in a telekinetic blast that ruins everything around him, and if that isn’t a masterful analogy for his arc I don’t know what would be.
Now coming to the series. All magic Loki uses is cosmetically or for show. He dries himself, he makes sweet little fireworks. How is that connected to his characterization? The show tells us he is insecure and loves only himself. If you squint real hard you might argue the drying is a sign of him being used to comfort. But I thought he was pampered and spoiled? Wouldn’t that mean he had other people to dry him?
And then there is the hiding/teleportation* scene on Lamentis. What does it say about his character? If it IS teleportation what does it say about him? That he can go distances without walking, perhaps, which would fit his line “I never walked so much in my life”, but doesn’t fit that scene from Thor 1 where we see how long he had to walk. And if he can teleport why doesn’t he spare them the walk? And if it doesn’t work for long distances, why does he run for cover right when they realize they are on Lamentis and doesn’t teleport? Why doesn’t he teleport onboard the spaceship? IF they wanted to use the fight as a character exposition, they should have made him use illusions. That’s his trademark.
Next is the “lifting a building” stuff. What does that say? I guess if you limit the interpretation to the series, it could be considered foreshadowing for the “we are stronger than we think”. And like so many stuff of the show it lacks any connection to the former canon. Loki isn’t known for brute strength, either of the body or of the magic. That’s Thor. Loki is known for being the intelligent one. Interestingly, the scene spells rather “we are dumber than we think”, too, since making two steps to the side would have achieved the same effect without any flexing of inexplainable telekinesis muscles.
The same goes for the fireworks in the train (characterizing Loki as sentimental, ok fine, and later as a dumb drunk who can’t control what illusion he casts, 😒). The plot would work without that magic. Just like it works without the drying, the building lifting, and all the other magic Loki used.
So, yeah, magic is Loki’s specialty that sets him apart from many other characters. Someone who writes a story with him in mind will use that automatically. They didn’t. Because it wasn’t him the show was written for. But the worst guy of all time.
Since I only talked about the magic here, I would like to recommend this marvelous analysis on Loki’s speech pattern and body language in the shown in comparison to the former installments.
* The only thing the “I don’t enjoy it” achieves is taking possible sadism out of the equation. TVA Loki is still irredeemable because he decided his sense of superiority would be worth more than the lives of the people in New York. This is egoism and a total dismissal of other people’s lives, something that cannot be “unlearned” by learning to love himself. That only removes the former motivation for the slaughter. Should something else motivate him to kill people, he would act just the same.
On the other hand, OG Loki has been coerced, not only by torture as we see it in The Avengers but also under the influence of the mind stone. Whenever we see him having the choice he acts morally better by sparing lives where he can.
**I don’t consider it teleportation since there is a time delay between Loki vanishing and re-appearing, and imo teleportation is instantaneous. Also, he vanishes feet first but reappears head first which doesn’t sit right with teleportation, and rather with making himself invisible and lifting invisibility again, but that’s for another post.
45 notes
·
View notes
Note
Since you seem to be an analysis expert on the 03 show. I saw someone say during the city at war arc that Raph wanted to let people die. Thoughts on this?
Kfkdjakdjdj I do enjoy analyzing, thank you for this ask
Short answer: Raph isn’t callous about people’s suffering. He would intervene if he saw someone getting hurt, he just didn’t want to go out looking for trouble. If you get rid of a bad politician does that make you thereafter morally accountable for all bad politicians whom he technically would’ve out-politicianed? Nah bro.
Long answer under the cut
The City at War arc is so interesting to me. I’m gonna try to take a fair look at it from each brother’s pov, with a main focus on Raph and Leo. Disclaimer: Raph’s position makes more sense to me and I am also writing this in his defense since the show kinda took Leo’s side.
The turtles defeated the Shredder and the city was plunged into chaos. Power vacuum yada yada, you’ve seen the episode (or if you haven’t you probably shouldn’t read this analysis). Leo’s basic position: We made a mess therefore we must fix it. Raph’s position: we did a good thing, evil still exists, we can’t be responsible for all of it.
This is really not a simple dilemma.
Leo is seeing things with a utilitarian lens; he’s judging their past actions based on the overall effect on the majority, not whether they acted with moral intentions or according to moral principles. This same approach would justify killing the Shredder, especially since they didn’t know it would cause a power vacuum. But now that their actions have led to a situation where a large number of people are (still) getting hurt, so the best possible ethical solution in Leo’s mind is to go out and finish what they started.
One thing we learn about Leo is that if he sees someone suffering, he isn’t going to ignore it. In that way we see the hero that he’s started to develop into. We also see, however, exactly how he handles guilt. And honestly, it’s not pretty. We all talk about Leo going out to look for fights later in the show after the Utroms imprison Ch’rell. Isn’t that what he’s doing here? It’s not as extreme, and it doesn’t stick out as much because he’s not as broody, but isn’t he trying to get rid of that guilty feeling by finding the end of the ‘task’ he’s set for himself? Doesn’t he feel like he failed and seems willing to do anything to make up for it? I mean, it’s not real clear what his plan is. He wants to make a difference; okay? Wasn’t he making a difference when he got rid of Shredder? Does he think is he keeps taking out the Next Worse Guy that the world will eventually run out of evil?
Of course he doesn’t cognitively think that. But he acts on it, showing perhaps somewhere inside he hopes it. And I’m a way this again shines a very positive light on him. He believes that the world can be good! And he’s ready to put in his own sweat and blood to make it that way! Maybe violence is not the way to do that, though? As they’re out doing it he does demonstrate caution and restraint. But you know. What was their other option?
The option Raph wanted was to keep going like they had been. Stick to the shadows, watch each other’s backs, and intervene with human issues if and when they’re able, rather than go out looking for problems to solve. What if everyone made that decision? To do everything we can to take good care of those close to us, and intervene when we see someone in need? It’s not a perfect philosophy either, but it’s not a solid start. It also shows a lot of growth on Raph’s part. In the past he’s handled his anger pretty much how Leo is handling his guilt: go out and see if he can find the right guy to punch to make the world make sense again. Led to some heroic moments, but maaaybe not the best philosophy to live by? I think that’s largely why he’s so against it. He sees Leo exhibiting the behaviors and traits he’s embarrassed by in himself. What he doesn’t see is how Leo is seeking connection with the world more than he ever used to, or the beautiful hope he holds. Basically, they learned from each other and they’re both thrown off by it.
We know that Mikey sees things Leo’s way. Makes sense for him because he’s already a superhero. He’s always had this idea of his family being Protectors; it’s a much more comfortable way to be separate than as Monsters. So when Leo says “here’s the mess and here’s why it’s our responsibility,” Mikey doesn’t pause to wonder where exactly Leo plans on stopping. He believes in his brother’s goodness and, like Leo, the world’s potential to run out of bad guys (again, I’m not saying they literally think that, but they hope for it, which can be both a huge source of strength and. Well. Naive). I think he’s a little more willing to see both sides—his family is central to his thinking and when Raph and Don don’t follow Leo Mikey doesn’t go after him himself. But he does want to help and tries to explain the situation to Donny.
As for Donny—I’m sure he understood the situation the first time when he heard it from Leo. During this arc we see him mostly stepping back and waiting to see what the family decides. However, may I point out, based on the way Don’s acted in the past when he sees people in trouble, especially if he feels responsible, I think we’d know if he thought what Leo was saying made any sense. His initial passivity towards the whole situation is, in a way, as loud and clear as Raph’s protests.
While Leo takes a utilitarian approach, Donny is looking at this as a Pacifist (he identifies himself as a Pacifist, I think he also explains in an intro or two that he’d rather find solutions besides fighting, also I’m basing this somewhat on Mirage Don because, 2003 is somewhat based on Mirage). His guiding principle is that you should never commit violence unless you’ve exhausted other options. Which, you know. It happens to them kind of a lot that they’ve exhausted other options. So I don’t imagine he’s real thrilled that in a rare moment of peace, Leo wants to go out and Find a fight.
But after Mikey talks to him we know that all three of them end up going after Leo, and ultimately all decide to fight alongside him.
This is one of my favorite Mikey and Donny moments tbh. With Leo off on his own and Raph siding with Splinter, Donny kinda has all the power in the familial politics in that moment. If he asked Mikey not to go after Leo, he wouldn’t. If he asked Raph to go—well, he did. I think Don mainly made that decision because he’s worried about what would happen to Leo if he’s alone. I think Mikey also played a big role though. Because even if he doesn’t agree with them ethically (and there really isn’t a simple answer they’re all right and they’re all wrong), he can see that it’s important to his brothers. If Donny has chosen to insist on staying, Mikey would have felt he had to because that’s the closest option he can have to his family being whole (hopefully Leo would come around), and thus he would be prevented from doing what he really believes in. If there’s anyone Donny would never put in that position no matter how much he disagrees with them, it’s Mikey.
And if there’s anything that could get through to Raph while he’s so frazzled over Leo fighting with him and determined to do what he believes is right (and he’s not wrong!), it’s a gentle suggestion from Donny (who he knows is on his side in this one) that even if they don’t get it, they should help if it’s really that important to Leo and Mikey.
But you know who is actually the only one who is able to change Raph’s mind? Like for real, not temporary placating him and inevitably leading towards another blow up (from him and Leo, Raph is not the only one losing his temper here)?
Master Splinter. Splinter, who has been very vocally on Raph’s side and against Leo on this issue. And whose teachings and rules so often clash uncomfortably with Raph’s personal values. Both of them are very aware that there is no end of Next Worse Guys, and that they have to prioritize their family’s safety because no one else in the world will. I honestly think that just as much as Splinter is the only one who could reach Raph, Raph is the only one who could change Splinter’s mind on this. I so wish we’d seen that conversation on screen. It would’ve been a great chance for Splinter to acknowledge some of his blind spots as a parent (so much of passing down fear), and for us to see Raph open and willing to accept his wisdom. Also Splinter helping Raph with his emotions. Literally the opportunity was right there. (Someday I’ll write it)
Anyway I’m sure Raph and Splinter talked about how they couldn’t stand idly. They agreed it wasn’t their fight to begin with, but Leo’s going anyway and you know what? Who really cares whose fault it was? If we can do some good let’s go out and do some good
(Again I don’t personally think going out to hit some more guys ultimately does that much good in the world and if I were the judge I’d be in the same page as Raph and Donny, about achieving peace by living peacefully and taking care of your people rather than by getting rid of the Problematic Guys, of whom the world will literally never run out, but that’s kind of what makes TMNT so compelling to me because they are trying so hard to live peacefully and keep getting pulled into these situations and fighting is the skill they have so of course it’s what they use and it’s really beautiful that they take such a an awful hand and try so hard to play as fairly as they can—)
I have to stop here or who knows where this could go
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
Part 1 - Another Sonic AU
I decided to called this AU “Another” because it’s symbolic and its the whole premise of the AU. Sonic himself and all of his friends have different destinies, complexities, or simplicities, different desires and dreams, and their roles have changed.
I would definitely say that this is sort of like UnderSwap, that one popular sub AU from UnderTale. (Is that what it’s called??? Idk lol)
Maybe we could have it where Sonic and his friends meet their different counterparts and learn about their life. I mainly wanted to make it a realization to that characters to maybe analyze themselves. Like literally. It could be a spark of inspiration or disastrous miscommunication.
For example, if Sonic met his counterpart Pink Sonic. They both would be apprehensive of each other. I’m not exactly sure which version of Sonic to use, so I might make one up (I say this because there’s so many versions of our “original” Sonic, like the one that is primarily shown with ADHD like from Sonic Adventures and Sonic Underground, and Prime Sonic, sorry if I’m wrong) and so it’d be best if Sonic was more curious and skeptical while trying to examine his other. Meanwhile Pink Sonic would be anxious and trying to push away the blue hedgehog. The two figure out where they came from and connect the two. And let’s say, they’re in the white void and just got teleported there.
Sonic: “So, you must be from an alternate dimension. I reckon. I don’t know how I feel about myself in pink…”He rubbed his chin curiously, not knowing if he actually liked it or not
Pink Sonic: “I don’t think that’s important right now… we need to figure out how to leave… this place… like right now. Seriously and immediately.” Pink Sonic crossed his arms while shifting around and keeping his sight on the blue one
Sonic: Sonic raised his eyebrows in surprise, something wasn’t right about his other. He was taking it more seriously than he was. It was odd, but appropriate for the situation. Sonic wondered if he should be worried too “Okay, okay. No need to emphasize it so much… bud? Is that okay with you if I call you— or rather me, bud?”
Pink Sonic: He sighed while rolling his eyes and smiling, “Whatever.” Pink Sonic thought about it, planning any means of escape. He isn’t one to spark normal conversations with strangers, but he felt it was appropriate to ask where Sonic came from. “So… in your dimension, since we look so alike… do we have the same friends?” He thought it was a strange but interesting question to ask.
Sonic: He shrugged in response. “I’d say less likely… but to make sure, do you have a little buddy named Tails?” Sonic looked around with a hand on his hip.
Pink Sonic: Pink Sonic still had crossed arms. “I… actually do… is he a cowboy too? And is his best friend a pink hedgehog with autism?” His head slightly raised to one side.
Sonic: He had a perplexed expression. “He’s what now?”
So then the two learn and gain information from each other and share similarities and differences. And even some self-reflections. I like the self reflection part most. It’s what makes them feel real and genuine.
Pink Sonic: “I don’t interact much with the people in my world. They’re just so… complex and complicated. It overwhelms me greatly. Which is mostly why I’m so distant and I don’t have much friends. I suppose the first thing to do is to actually try keeping my friends but for some reason I just can’t. I’ll just be honest with myself.” He chuckled and scratched his neck. “It’s hard. And I just gotta continue living in it. Even if I’m alone. At least, I know where my happiness lies every time.”
Sonic: “Where’s your happiness?” Sonic, leaned forward with his ears, very intrigued on what that meant. But he also thought about it. Is he also mentally disconnected from his friends and family? Has he felt anything other than adrenaline? Does he know his real friends outside of adventures? Was he being real with himself? At least, maybe, he was running away from those dreadful thoughts all of this time. It did seem redundant to him and unnecessary to ponder about. Ponder. It was such a strange word to him, but maybe that was what Pink Sonic was doing. He was pondering. Maybe about life. Maybe about death. Maybe about things that really bothered him. What had prevented him from pondering those thoughts? This was what Sonic was trying to figure out.
Pink Sonic: He smiled. “It’s… the peace. In the lingering moment. When the wind hits the long golden reeds of the grass and it creates this soft, melodic sounding. Rustling… you can hear it too. And I want to wake up to it every time. It’s just that simple moment that brings me happiness. Not being alone. But the presence. The presence itself is soothing.” Pink Sonic opened one eye to make sure Sonic was still listening, he continued to finish what he was saying. “Most people think that silence, nothingness, absence of something is true peace. It’s a whole complete lie. In fact, the opposite is only true. It’s the presence of life, living, breathing, that one final breath that carries your anxiety away to the wind. It takes a lot to accept or find that peace in life, mostly because it seems so unachievable. But it’s so easy. It’s just hard to swallow.”
Sonic: Sonic witnessed as his pink other began to go on a tangent. Into a whole completely different perspective— maybe even for himself. Pink Sonic got completely out of his comfort zone and shared something valuable to him. Sonic thought that he had everything in life for him. But… was fighting villains going to be his entire life? Is that all the whole world will hear about? His constant adventures and his savior complex? But when they want to learn about Sonic on a personal level— what will they even say? He was complex himself, but even he knew that he had flaws of his own. A whole life could pass before his eyes and he wouldn’t have noticed it. He treasured life too. Maybe, from Pink Sonic’s point, there was more to it. Sonic didn’t think this much about himself. He was mostly selfless. Actually, 100% he was selfless for most of his life. And what was left for Sonic to gain something for himself? Why was there so much pressure on him all of the time?! This began to overheat Sonic’s brain that he had to get up and start pacing the empty space to somehow stop thinking about it.
Pink Sonic: He watched his other pace the room carefully.
Anyways imma stop them right there. My brain cannot comprehend or proofread this right now. Anyways imma make part 2 on my AU later or tomorrow.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
We reblog a lot of aesthetic posts, so I think it’s time for some armchair philosophy.
What does it mean to be a vampire? Call it what you want, sanguinarian, energy feeding- it’s an umbrella of experiences and concepts neatly dovetailed into the goth subculture, cousins to folks like otherkin and therians. This blog is a little bit of a perfect illustration of my point- we mostly reblog aesthetics and art because it’s fast, easy, and gets the point across. But it’s here to talk about an experience, too, and we haven’t done much of that.
Maybe it’s similar to the witchcraft community that way. People post their candles and crystals, but the real work happens behind closed doors. And it’s easy, as a vampire, to sum it up as “yeah I feed on people, move along”. We’re gay, keep scrolling. Don’t like, don’t read, flames are fed to the cat.
Part of the urge to do that is a reaction to folks who peddle the idea of binaural beats to give you heterochromia, or Top Ten Reasons Why You’re Actually Supernatural (Number 6 Will Shock You!). Whatever the reason is, whatever causes this, it doesn’t give us the ability to Force Choke people or smell their deepest fears. People will always want to be special. I’d even argue that that’s normal and okay. I just keep tripping over weird culty shit that dents my faith in the community, relying on magical promises and feeding the fantasies of lonely vulnerable teenagers, and then we’re back to square one.
The only thing I can say for sure, I think, it what it means to me. It helps me feel like I belong- even if not to a group of people, then at least the night. The dark, the murky place where horror movies and pareidolia and the bogeyman mythos lives. It lets me feel powerful, confident, enjoy being who I am. The aesthetic brings me joy. The experience.... it’s nestled in there somewhere between my gender and my psychological issues, I think. It can hurt, it can be lonely, but it’s not always. It’s impacted how I look at the world around me, given depth to my animistic beliefs, affected how I look at and think about food in particular. Nothing quite makes you analyze where you get your nutrients like cravings you can’t actually satisfy.
For me, being a vampire is halfway punk rebellion and halfway just self-acceptance. I’m going to dress like I walked out of Crimson Peak, I’m going to be queer and identifiable only as an entity dressed in bones and fangs, I’m going to do things and try things other people don’t because their identities are in a box, and mine is everything outside of the box. I want to play ttrpgs, read pretentious books by candlelight that make me ponder the human condition, and maybe stick a hand into the BDSM community to see if anything bites.
What does it mean to be a vampire? I don’t think I’ve really got the answer, yet. I think it’s more important to focus on what it means to be you, first, and being a vampire is just part of that. I mean, we crave blood. There’s poetry in that, the depth of connection to another person inherent in consuming what gives them life, a liquid record of their health and wellbeing that you can learn to read with sustained contact. And if we can learn so much from feeding, from the conversation in that, then surely there’s just as much to learn from the hunger alone.
We just can’t lose ourselves to it, I think. Touch grass. Go to the library. Remember thou art mortal, etc, etc. There’s enough angst to fill an ocean, here- but existence isn’t only pain.
Alright, there’s your vampire pondering for the night, I’m gonna go watch samurai movies.
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
~Going to the fair with the league of villains~
headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up
-The One who gets lost as soon as you start walking:
This is Twice for sure. That’s why he has to hold hands with Toga or Magne because he gets sidetracked looking at all the different booths. It’s a lot going on for him. One time they all went to the fair and lost Twice within 10 minutes of being there because he stopped walking to stare at some kid trying to win a goldfish instead of following the rest of the group. They kept calling but his phone was on silent. Eventually they found him at the bumper car station repeatedly ramming his car into some poor child that couldn’t turn their wheel fast enough.
-The One who is a dare devil and rides every ride there:
Tomura and Magne 100% The other members might ride a few things here and there but it’s Tomura and Magne that take on the entire fair. “If I paid to get in here, you can be damn sure I’m not wasting my money by walking around. No offense to you guys.” Magne says before she’s strapped into a ride that will take her dozens of feet into the air and turn her upside down. Tomura rides everything terrifying with a complete straight face. It’s actually funny to watch while everyone else is screaming with their hands up, he’s calmly going with the motions of the rides.
-The One who wants to sit and watch the little performances instead of anything else:
Compress, Kurogiri, and Mustard. These three seem to be drawn toward the various magic shows, dare devil motorcycle feats, fire twirling, and whatnot. They quietly watch and chat amongst themselves about it while the rest of the League members are having fun. It’s rare you’d ever get any of them to ride anything with you. Maybe, just MAYBE you could get one of them on the Ferris wheel but that’s a big “if” yknow? Other than that, they came for the shows and they will not miss them for anything in the world.
-The One who came just for the petting zoo:
Toga absolutely fits the bill. Yes she loves a few of the rides, but her main goal is the petting zoo. She could spend an hour in that cramped/stinky area just petting on the various animals there and taking lots of pictures. It’s the same with the zoo but that’s a different story. She also shells out every quarter in her pocket just so she can keep filling up her tiny plastic cup with animal food to feed them. She named every animal there and she feels a special connection with the Coatimundi they let crawl on her shoulders. Not to mention the fact she’s considered trying to slip a baby duckling out of there in her cardigan pocket as well.
-The One who came just for the food:
Spinner, Muscular, and Moonfish. Yeah they’ll ride the rides of they feel like it but the real reason they showed up was to eat till their hearts content. I’m willing to bet money Spinner will go through 7 chicken on a stick before he’s had enough. Muscular destroys those giant smoked Turkey legs and Moonfish...oh man. The booth cooks are scared when he comes up again and again. They’re running low on onion rings. He won’t stop asking for onion rings. Fuck why won’t this guy stop asking for onion rings?!
-The One who spends all their money on the fair games and gets pissed off when they keep losing:
Also Shigaraki. When he’s taking breaks from the rides, he stops at booths and stares while other people play. He’s trying to analyze how it works so he could try and beat it. Once he’s stood there looking menacing, he’s going to give it a go. The booth is rigged of course. He ends up standing there for most of the night, alternating between the rides and the bathroom before coming back to try again and again. He’s very competitive and when he doesn’t win something he gets the overwhelming urge to decay the booth, prizes, and the workers too. “No...not today...not yet.” He grumbles to himself after losing for the 20th time that night.
-The One who makes you pull over the car on the way back home so they can throw up:
Dabi. He got on one ride near the end of the night before it was time to go. That was a fucking mistake on his part. He chose to try out the zero gravity ride that spins fast as hell in a circle. You know the one? He’s dizzy and nauseous considering he ate before he got on the ride. He makes Spinner pull the car over at the end of the night so he can vomit on the side of the road next to a bank parking lot. I feel so bad for the late night workers that saw him through the glass window. They were too frozen to even call the cops on the League. “How in the hell can one man puke so much???”
-The One who spent their money on the stupidest shit there:
Toga and Twice. These two once went through 100$ at the fair. Want to know what they purchased that they thought was more essential than anything else? Okay here goes: a bubble wand, a sticker pack, 4 inflatable dolphins, a cowboy hat with glitter on the rim, a caricature, two matching toddler backpacks with puppies printed on them, a giant horse plush (they named Todd by the way), three wooden necklaces, glowsticks, and a shit ton of rubber ducks. God only knows what the hell they planned on using it for.
#the fair came to my city and i really want to go#im broke rn lol#im living out my fantasy through this ask#bnha cosplay#mha#boku no hero academia#my heo academia#lov#league of villains#somebody for the love of god tip me
32 notes
·
View notes
Text
felt like writing but i didn't know what to write about and don't feel like talking about anything thats actually bothering me lmao so here's a little bit about a realization i had the other day
i was in the shower the other day and i was thinking about my brain and how my mind is like a little control unit or like a cockpit of a plane. i am a guy sitting in a swivel chair in front of a bunch of buttons and switches and two large screens that let me see out into the real world. behind me is a swarm of bees and for the most part they stay pretty far behind me in the doorway that leads who knows where. whenever i have a thought a bee (or maybe a few bees depending on how intense the thought is) separates from the swarm and makes it’s way closer to me. from there i have to listen carefully to pick up the nuances of the buzzes and be able to translate them into something that’s understandable. now i’ve known this to be how i think for a while but as i was standing there in the shower i started to analyze how i interact with the physical world. i knew that the images on the two large screens is how i see, but how do i hear? smell? taste? feel? so i sat there in my swivel chair and looked around. i heard sounds coming from the intercom on either side of the room. ok so there’s a loud speaker in here and that’s how i hear what’s going on. i’m reminded of what it feels like when i dissociate and how it’s like the screens are fogged up and staticky and my chair is placed so far back in the room that i’m almost out the door and i realize that the sounds over the intercom get muffled. i can already hear them less cause i’m farther away but now the words themselves aren’t even clear to begin with. i have to try extra hard to listen to what they’re saying, most of the time when this happens i can only hear noise, nothing of any meaning.
i realize that everything feels like it's getting translated. my thoughts have to get translated from buzzing bees, my sight has to go through a screen before i can see it, and sounds have to go through an intercom before i can hear it. is there anything that doesn’t feel like a translation? is there anything that i experience directly as my body experiences it? then i realize why touch is so important. there is no barrier between touching my body and touching me. there is no device or mechanism or extra work to be able to feel something. sometimes when i dissociate it feels like there are layers of cloth and rubber between me and whatever is touching me, but even then the physical sensation is felt by both my body and me as the guy in the chair. i think this is why touch is one of the few things that tends to help pull me out of a dissociative episode. it’s one of the only things that doesn’t have to go through a series of steps to get to me. it is the only thing that even somewhat connects me to my body. i think without it i would float away or roll away outside of the little room i’ve been tasked to be in control of. i don’t think i’ve ever been fully able to comprehend why touch is so important to me, i just knew that it was comforting and that it was grounding, but i didn’t know why, i didn’t know what made it different. now i realize that it’s the only thing that makes me feel real, that makes everything else feel real. i can never be 100% sure that something is there unless i touch it. i feel like every other sense has the capability of lying to me, or getting lost in translation but touch is so direct so real that i can’t deny that it’s there.
#idk why ive decided tumblr is the place to write this out but here you go#enjoy i guess#who needs therapy when i can just ramble about useless things that dont actually matter lmao
2 notes
·
View notes
Text
birth chart reading for @freedom-not-apple
hello! welcome to your reading. I’m gonna give you a quick overview of what I’m going to analyze about your natal chart. feel free to ask me anything if something isn’t clear, of course. you’ll find out your dominants’ influence on your persona, your physical appearance, impression on others and the way you approach the world; your ego, identity, the real you; your reactions, your desires, inner emotions; your way of expressing your feelings, your mind and ideas; your desires and approach to love; your energy tank, instincts and temperament; in-depth analysis of each house with their rulers and analysis of heavy aspects; love life + soulmates/karmic partners interpretation; your relationship with your friends; your family life; your approach to career and work in general + possible jobs suggestion; your style, fashion sense analysis; life purpose and past life description; basic transits’ analysis to describe your current mood and, last but not least, your secret skills, how to make the most out of your soul and manifest what you desire based on your birth chart.
🦋 chart shape, dominants
your chart is a bucket shape, with the moon as the handle of the bucket. your saturn is in the 1st house, hence matters regarding appearance and self-esteem will be your priorities in this lifetime. you also have clear ideas about your future and who you want to be. even though you may have different passions and talents, you’re capable of only sticking to one and mastering it, giving your all.
your dominant planets are the moon, saturn and mercury. you are definitely a smart person, not only intellectually but also emotionally. you are mature, responsible and ambitious, but you're also quite sensitive and expressive.
your dominant sign is scorpio. you may have trust issues and be quite of a loner, yet once you commit to someone, you'll be in for a long ride. you are very deep, both mentally and emotionally. you may struggle with power control, as you may have the perception that people are trying to take advantage of you due to your insecurities. because of that, you may also get quite possessive and bossy.
your dominant element is water. you're very intuitive and empathetic, you care a lot about others, and you may seem like a healer to people you know. in fact, you always try to help them if you can, almost in a therapeutic way. you're also very spiritual, and you're attracted to anything related to discovering your higher self and soul purpose.
🌎 ascendant in gemini, 22° / 3rd decan ruled by mercury and uranus
you enjoy communicating and intellectualism. you’re very curious about everything that surrounds you. you love expanding your knowledge, ideas and mind in general through communication, interactions and media. you have the ability to adapt quickly to new situations; your mind is fast, usually impulsive. yet, this placement still helps you being adaptable to changes, even though you may only be able to see it after a few years if you manage to balance it well. you may also be able to match the energy of the people you’re talking to in order to be perceived as more likeable and connect with everyone on a deeper level. you may be fond of books, poetry, literature… both writing and reading. it’s also a way to let yourself tune to your emotions. since you’re constantly mentally active, physically you may also tend to play with your fingers or hair, or maybe you tend to gesticulate while you speak. appearance-wise, I assume you’re at least of average height, with long limbs and fingers. you have something small about your face; you may either have a small nose, or eyes, lips etc. same thing goes for your bones. you may be naturally skinny, with a rectangle body. you also tend to look younger than you actually are, especially when growing up.
gemini ascendant square pisces saturn: you may be shy and have self-esteem issues, especially during your early years. because of that, you may often appear as insecure to others, or even unreliable. you have a strong desire to be with someone and commit to them, you despise supertificial bonds, but at the same time you may find yourself being too shy to approach others, especially during your early years. you may not be the most confident person on earth, but as time goes by your grow more and more confident. this may apply more to the younger you, actually. you don't feel much comfortable around other people, and others can sense that; your insecurity is exposed to the world, and some may take advantage of that to hurt your feelings. you're afraid of being judged, whether it's for your appearance, or maybe because of your ideals or interests. hence, you end up becoming reserved. this is something that will be solved through growth and time; the older you get, the easier you'll be on yourself. also, thanks to this aspect, you're a responsible person with defined values. to cope with this placement, I'd suggest you to do what makes you feel the best. there are different ways to boost your self-esteem, so maybe you can work on that and then start expressing yourself freely; if you do it without the fear of being judged, you will shine even more.
🌞 sun in libra, 21° / 3rd decan ruled by venus and mercury
you are very intuitive, you understand others’ real feelings very easily. you’re very polite and mannered, you have this innate elegance about you that could make people jealous. you may even come off as a snob. even though your libra energy may make you look flaky, once people get to know you you’re actually very reliable and trust-worthy, as you are a person of strong morals. you may unconsciously manipulate people, but you don’t do it with malice. in fact, you’re probably not even aware of it most of the time. you’re reserved, and you don’t like being the centre of attention, despite craving compliments. nonetheless, you still like getting to know new people; you’re the type to know everyone, but you may struggle to find actual best friends, as your bonds with people are quite undeveloped and superficial. you have a nice sense of humor, and you may rely on sarcasm a lot. you’re also the type that doesn’t like to accept her mistakes. probably, when you were a child you used to scream 'it’s not my fault!’ in every occasion. in life, you strive for equality and fairness. for example, you don’t want to give less than someone else, you would feel guilty about it. at the same time, you don’t want to be the one that gives more either; you’re afraid that people could take advantage of you. therefore, balance is what you find the most pleasant.
🌙 moon in cancer, 4° / 1st decan ruled by the moon
with your moon in cancer, your privacy and security are the centre of your life. you need to be and feel emotionally stable to fully take advantage of all of your skills; for example, if you argue with a loved one of yours, especially if it's someone from your family, you could get very unmotivated to do anything. you need to feel complete to function correctly, and when you can't, you rely on material goods; e.g you may overeat, buy a lot of useless things out of stress, drink... anything that apparently helps you to cope. on the other hand, you're very affectionate, even clingy at times, but your feelings are very pure. because of that, you may also be extremely sensitive, you could be afriad of others' judgment for example. you have a very acute maternal/nurturing istinct, you're most likely the mom friend of your group. it comes natural to you to take care of others and nurture them, you'd definitely make an amazing parent. the problem with this trait is that you may sometimes take the blame for something just to protect others, you could often say white lies to help your loved ones. you just want to do something beneficial for others, you're extremely generous, but don't forget that you should take care of yourself first. also, since you feel the need to help others, you may often bottle up your emotions without anyone that is willing to help you work out your problems. make sure to always have some private space in your day-to-day life, it is extremely essential for you to develop your own ideas and also to understand what to do for your personal growth.
cancer moon square libra mercury: your thoughts and feelings are constantly in contrast with each other. your libra mercury desires luxury and social interactions, your cancer moon wants intimacy and privacy. this results in indecisiveness, you change your mind pretty often, and that can cause you conflicts due to communication problems. you're also pretty opinionated, you don't hide your feelings when you act by impulse, even though you may feel guilty about it: you are very sensitive, you want to treat people well, but you could be impulsive or sarcastic and hurt people. at least, the positive side of this placement is that you're probably very intellectual, capable of taking in consideration both the subjective and objective side of an argument.
🗣 mercury in libra, 5° / 1st decan ruled by venus
you're very diplomatic! you always try to be nice and gentle with your words, you don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. your tone of voice is extremely soft, sometimes it could even be hard to understand what you say, as you could naturally have a low voice. you're extremely balanced, you have amazing problem-solving skills as you're able to see both sides of an argument. it's natural for you to understand what's right and what isn't, and most of the time you're actually right. when you're with someone you're not really close to, you could even be the accommodating type who allows others to speak over your voice, or maybe you let others speak first as a gesture of kindness. I feel like with your scorpio dominance you have very strong opinions, and you're actually particularly proud of them. luckily, this placement makes you able to communicate them with diplomacy. you could often get angry if someone tries to prove you wrong, but aside from that, you try to be very elegant and formal when you speak. you're probably not fond of cursing, or at least you try to appear as mannered as possible with people you're not comfortable around. last but not least, you're such a charismatic, smooth talker that you come off as davery persuasive. you're able to trick people with your words, which appear very diplomatic and calm.
❤️ venus in scorpio, 6° / 1st decan ruled by pluto
this placement is extremely intense; you have very high standards when it comes to love. you're a passionate, loyal lover, but at the same time you also want and need a lover that is willing to go as far as you go with your feelings. you may often test your partner to see if they're worthy of your love, for example. you have this sort of self-destructive behaviour that makes people stressed, just because you have extreme trust issues and you feel the need to control everyone, especially if 'everyone' is your lover. you find yourself being more attracted to 'darker' types; that is, you may be into bad boys / girls, someone with an edgy / grunge aesthetic. I've noticed that many scorpio venus individuals have a thing for people wearing leather jackets, for example. you're probably into the idea of that passionate, even kinky love, despite being quite afraid of opening up to others. you despise too much intimacy, especially since you may often attract and / or fall for self-centered players that don't care about the intensity and purity of your feelings. you may have a few trust issues that lead you into being extremely jealous and / or possessive. you could even get quite stalker-ish at times, but in the best way possible of course. that isn't because you want to take over your partner's life, but you need to feel secure and understand whether you're dedicating your time and your heart to the right person or you're just wasting yourself. a betrayal would hurt you deeply, as you'd literally die for the one you love.
☄️ mars in scorpio, 25° / 3rd decan ruled by pluto and the moon
you’re an extremely goal-oriented person. you want to be the best at everything you do, not only to be better than others but also the best for yourself. you’re very astute, it’s impossible to trick you, and you always find a way to be in charge and get what you want. yet, you can get quite obsessed about your goals, that you could do extreme things to get what you want. in fact, people with this placement can even manipulate others, as they’re totally capable of doing that. people are naturally attracted to you, you have a way with words, and hence you’re always able to convince others into giving you what you want. but luckily, this doesn’t turn into manipulation, you probably don’t even realize this skill of yours, and hence you don’t use it to damage others. you are very persuasive, but you don't do it on purpose, you could actually be a little naive. when you get angry, you could actually get scary, though. your emotions are very intense, it’s hard to calm you down. you may be very sarcastic and aggressive with your words. you could hurt people, but you don’t do it on purpose. most of the time, you don’t even mean the things you say. you may also vent your anger with physical action, hence you could slam doors, punch or break things etc.
scorpio mars conjunct scorpio pluto: with this placement, I assume that when you were younger you were some sort of victim. you could have been bullied, for example, you used to be insecure about the way you looked and were. you could have felt different from others, and they took advantage of that to make you feel even more insecure. or maybe, it was a parent, or every authoritative figure in your life, that restricted you from following your own ideals. because of that, now you constantly feel the need to prove yourself. you probably tend to accumulate a lot of anger all together, which you need to let all out or you could explode. you could find comfort in physical ways to relieve stress, like punching bags, slamming doors, etc. or perhaps, when you're angry you just get overwhelmed by all of your emotions. you may cry, scream, even throw up in certain cases. on the other hand, you are extremely magnetic and attractive to others, you naturally draw people towards you. you're also extremely passionate in whatever you do, you put your whole heart in doing things you love. you're very hard-working and determined to achieve your goals, making you extremely dedicated.
🏡 houses
your 1st house is in gemini. your moon is also sitting in this house. your ego feels fulfilled when you express your opinions, ideas and creativity. people probably see you as an intelligent, wise individual. maybe even as a know-it-all. you care about both your inner and outer self, which may be the cause of your confidence issues. you try to fit into society, and you tend to change your approach to people based on who you’re interacting with. while this gives you great social skills, it may confuse you quite a bit. in fact, you may forget who you are. you may often have identity crisis, especially since you always feel as if you have to fit somewhere. you're extremely empathetic. you can read people's mood very well, it's easy for you to understand whether someone is sad, angry, happy... because of that, you always try to make people feel at ease, you're always kind with people, and that makes you extremely likeable. also, you're probably a very genuine person. it's hard for you to hide your real emotions, and even if you wanted to hide them you wouldn't be capable. you could also have frequent mood swings. you have a strong sense of family and comfort to you, and hence it's extremely essential for you feel at ease to truly be yourself.
your 2nd house is in cancer. your family, home and cultural background may play a big role in your finances. you may earn money through your family’s business, or maybe you actually work with your family. you may also work from home, especially online/through social media. your adaptability is your greatest strenght; you’re probably good at a different variety of jobs, hence it may not be hard for you to find something to cope before deciding your definite career. this also confirms that your values, self-worth and security were shaped by your roots, childhood and family.
your 3rd house is in leo. you’re able to express your innovative ideas and creativity in a way that doesn’t go overlooked. you tend to overthink a lot, especially about your theories but, once you’ve made up your mind, no one is gonna make you change idea. you’re confident in your opinions. the downside of this placement is that you may come off as a know-it-all from the way you communicate your thoughts. your future career involves communication, and healing someone in some way. you could become a writer or a musician, as art can heal people in some way. again, you would also do well as a therapist or as a nurse, as they’re more challenging jobs where you need to communicate in order to help someone out.
your 4th house is in virgo. mercury is also placed in this house with chiron in an exact conjunction. this is another placement that points out that you lack something due to your family. maybe they couldn’t spend much time with you, as they were busy with work. or maybe, they were overprotective of you, making you insecure. probably even both. this doesn’t mean that you’re hurt, you may not even be aware that you’re lacking a piece of yourself actually. yet, it’s still there, and it influences you a lot on your day-to-day affairs. in the worst case, you have trauma coming from your childhood that you need to heal. you may work from home, or maybe with someone from your family. possibly, you could choose the same career as your parents, or maybe you work in their shop/agency.
your 5th house is in libra. the sun and venus are also placed in this house. you're very creative, and you try to make beauty out of your imagination. you’re probably into music, art, photography, fashion… things like that. you’d also like to experience light romance, and you may enjoy the idea of socializing with others. you feel fulfilled when you’re able to spend time with your loved ones, even though this may make you struggle embracing your indipendence. you're very picky, as you have high expectations for your future partner. you always try to be at your best state, and you want those who surround you to be perfect too. it's hard for you to fall for someone, as you take everything in consideration: personality, physical appearance, fashion sense... it may look like it is too much, but once you find the right one that truly satisfies your standards, you're in for a long ride. you'll want to travel, live your life in the best way possible with the person you love. you look at them as if they were the brighest star in the sky, and you want to be seen like this as well. you may even be a bit clingy, but your partner needs to be aware of that. they can't repress your need for affection. you see love as a way to revive your inner child, you feel younger when you're in love. even though you want someone fun and outgoing, you also need someone ambitious, hard-working and generally serious when it comes to committing. there's no room in your life for flaky people.
your 6th house is scorpio, with pluto, mars and jupiter placed here as well. you may be passionate about routine, self-care, health and work, to the point that it looks (and feels) obsessive. you may attract enemies in your daily life, e.g co-workers that are jealous of your ambition. you might have to undergo different changes in your routine and health throughout your life, which can literally transform you both physically and emotionally. your life revolves around being productive. you don't like to waste your time, you always try to learn and gain something useful from everything you do. that's caused by the fact that you're motivated to be perfect in what you like; this, combined with your competitive nature, may often cause you to burn out. in fact, the downside to this placement is that you may overwork yourself too much. this is bad, as if you work too much you don't have time to travel with your mind, you can't relax and have fun. in fact, it may be hard for you to endure too much hard work. you're capable of achieving your goals, but in order to do that you also need a break from time to time.the ruler of the 6th house is in the 6th house: you may have pets, or even work with them. you take care of your health, especially to work. you may also work as a doctor with plutonian traits; hence, you could be a psychologist, a therapist etc.
your 7th house is in sagittarius. you want your marriage to be a constant travel for you, in which you can both relax and learn. you want to marry a witty and impulsive partner, that is also fun to live with. people may consider you flaky, as you value freedom above all. you may be the type that likes making new experiences regarding love, and you often date your crushes. yet, you feel too limited in a relationship. you don't enjoy committing to someone if that someone isn't perfect for you, you're only completely loyal to the one you consider your true love. you can't give up your freedom, your thirst for adventure and experiences for someone else. basically, your ideal partner would be a risk-taker, someone loyal but not too clingy, that is down to go on a road trip in every moment. someone impulsive, that could help you stepping out of your comfort-zone. you're probably into those youthful love stereotypes, e.g. high school dates. you want your relationships to be filled with excitement, you despise boring, traditional and cheesy things. you may also find yourself being attracted to unavailable people; that is, you could fall for people that are already taken, or maybe they're physically unavailable, e.g they live abroad or in another city in general. you're also attracted to foreigners, and people that have a wise, yet bubbly aura around them.
your 8th house is in capricorn, with also neptune and uranus sitting there. you may be prone to die old, and you may feel attracted to people that are older or more established than you. you are most probably going to have a peaceful death, yet it could be unexpected though. or maybe, you’re surrounded by unpredictable events of loss of any kind in your life. you’re fascinated by the occult, and you may even be/been able to talk to dead people. you’re very intuitive, and it’s easy for you to read through people’s words. you may as well have prophetic dreams. you’re likely surronded by karmic friends and people in general. you may argue often with them, and your relationship with is very intense, but that’s because you have karmic lessons to learn, and they’re the ones teaching them to you. it’s something that will get better with time.
your 9th house is in aquarius. you’re an avid believer of your philosophical and cultural beliefs. you may be interested in teaching, and you could do it through innovative and technological tools. you’re also interested in foreign music, books, movies and any type of hobby. you may be attracted to genres like thriller, sci-fi… you could also believe in aliens. at school you may be considered particular, almost weird for your interests. you’re open-minded, as you appreciate the differences in people and cultures all over the world. jupiter here gives you the natural need to keep grasping information around not only in school but in your life in general, as knowledge is where you find happiness. you hate being told what to do, you want to be free in the decisions you make. you may have to live unexpected situations, as 9th house is also about experiences. you’re the type to feel proud doing something never seen before, as you aspire to be a trend-setter. this may also manifest in your musical, fashion etc. taste. you’re also very opinionated, and you defend your beliefs pretty strongly. with the ruler of the 9th house being in the 8th, you learn a lot about occult topics, such as astrology, tarots, dreams etc.
your 10th house is ruled by pisces. saturn is also placed in this house. you may be unsure of your future career, or at least indecisive. you may want to do different things, or maybe you have completely no idea. hopefully, the rest of the reading will shed some light on you. usually, people with pisces in the 10th house’s cusp make great healers, hence you may become a doctor of any kind, especially a psychologist. you may also work in the creative, artistic field, e.g you could be an artist, a writer, a musician etc. you have three planets sitting in this house: the sun, mercury and mars. finding a career is your ultimate goal in life, and it will most probably include communication and mind stimulaton of any sort. it’s pretty much the source of your confidence and energy, what your life revolves around. with the ruler of the 10th house in the 8th, I repeat that you would make an awesome psychologist, as you’re able to understand people’s deeper emotions. you could also work with death in general, so again as a doctor or even as a detective. it may take you a while to find the perfect job for you, but once you do you're going to get extremely successful and satisfied with your goals.
with the 11th house ruled by aries, you probably attract a lot of people in your life. whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert, you’ll always be able to have someone by your side, even though you may struggle to create stable bonds. friends come and go, basically. you may attract very fierce, almost violent friends. they’re very energetic, and probably extroverted people who like socializing and enjoying life to the fullest. your friends can help you build a reputation, especially since they’re probably quite popular. or maybe, you could actually work with them. generally speaking, you may come across powerful people in your life that will help you boost your self-esteem and career path. you may also meet your true friends at work, or at least while growing up. you probably didn’t have many stable bonds during your teenage years.
lastly, your 12th house is in the sign of taurus. you’re secretly sensitive and affectionate, but you may have issues finding it out at first. in fact, the center of your life is your own intellectuality, these venusian traits are probably yet to develop. you may feel attracted to spirituality, but you’re quite lazy to actually dive into it. getting in touch with your hidden, subconscious and higher self will be crucial to help you grow up and gain more awareness of yourself. you may be interested in topics like astrology, psychology etc. most likely to get to know yourself and your life purpose.
❤️ love life, soulmates
in love, you attract sagittarius, pisces, scorpio, taurus and libra placements. your future spouse may also have libra/sagittarius/scorpio energy, maybe a sagittarius - scorpio cusp. you need someone who’s charming, joyful, romantic and polite, but that can also stand up for themselves with no hesitation. you’re also into the magnetic, sexy type. you’re looking for someone independent, but that wouldn’t mind dedicating their time to you. you may feel unlucky in love, as your sagittarius descendant makes you attract people that are usually unavailable, whether it’s physically (they’re abroad) or emotionally. you may marry someone of a different culture/country/religion from yours. you may also meet and marry abroad. you may meet through your family, or maybe at your workplace. you may meet them during a period of transformation and change in your life, after a hard time that you have to endure. your children will most probably have very prominent venus energy, hence libra or taurus, and probably also leo as well. they’ll love to be spoiled with affection, they’ll love material things like toys, food, clothes etc. but they’ll also be very mannered and elegant.
👶🏻 family life
your mother is probably very hard-working, and she has a strong role in your family. she loves being appreciated, as she's a perfectionist and can get quite insecure at times. she may appear slightly cold or serious, but deep down she's actually quite sensitive, even though she may struggle to show her true feelings. she may have virgo placements, or maybe pisces, cancer, taurus or capricorn. your father is a bit more unpredictable, he could be moody and therefore you may argue with him more often, and he might be a pisces, capricorn or virgo or have any type of earth/water placement in his chart. yet, he also has a very sweet and outgoing side to him that he may struggle to let out. if you have siblings, they’re probably leos/fire signs. you have a very pleasant relationship with them, you're all very playful and generous and you used to always stand up for each other, even though there could have been a bit of competition.
📊 career
you’re motivated to complete your works in order to show that you’re able to succeed, you want to be the best in what you do. I feel like the most suited career for you would be something that allows you to be in charge, to be your own boss as you know what’s best for you. you may also do well as a teacher or professor, or perhaps you could work as a journalist or as an interpreter or translator, anything that has to do with foreign cultures and languages. you could also make a job out of an hobby of yours, maybe you could become a poet, a writer, an actress, a dancer, etc. last but not least, you may also work in a field related to economics and finances, maybe in a bank. based on your other placements, you could also do well at literally any creative career! you may be a dancer, a singer, or even something more complex like a creative director. otherwise, you could also be successful as a designer of any kind, an architect, a scientist… something that allows you to be mostly independent, but that can still guarantee you mental stimulation and a decent income, and that also allows you to use your creative venusian energy.
👕 fashion sense, style analysis
you may have lots of dark, edgy clothes in your wardrobe, from leather to animal prints. you could possibly also fancy velvet in your clothes. your style is mostly quite classy and elegant, but still with a touch of boldness to it. as for the colors, I assume you also enjoy wearing darker shades, from dark blue, purple, burgundy… to just directly black. you could possibly be fond of total-black fits too.
👁 past life, life purpose
in your past life time, you didn’t have a specific priority. you just enjoyed wandering with your mind and creativity, allowing yourself to relax with your friends. you used to depend on someone else, not really on yourself. this lifetime, you need to establish your independence AND solid boundaries, not just those you used to daydream about. don’t be afraid to let your inner child out; go to amusement parks, binge-watch netflix, date your crushes, have an hobby, play videogames… you could also play with actual children. anything that brings fun out of you, and that puts a genuine smile on your face.
🤔 major transits analysis / june 9
the sun is currently conjunct your ascendant, about to enter your 1st house. after a more turbulent period, where you just wanted to hide, you're probably having a self-esteem boost, you're feeling better about yourself and you may be dedicating your time to yourself only. yet, since in the next weeks the sun is also going to touch your moon, beware of possible emotional bursts that may possibly cause you to argue with others.
🧿 manifest what you want, secret skills
you’re very in contact with your spirituality, making you more sensitive to higher affirmations. you have the ability to visualize what you want. that’s the key to activate the loa: travel with your fantasy, and visualize what you desire. do you want a new car? imagine yourself doing road-trips on that car. a new phone? visualize yourself making calls with that phone. you can even literally create a story involving those topics and it will come true. you can also help yourself by writing and listening to your own affirmations, maybe covered up by some music. in this way, you'll develop a more optimistic mindset and you'll be able to attract more positivity in your life. you just have to believe in your power!
this is the end! thank you again for booking a reading, hope it resonated with you :)
- libramc xx
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
September 20: Chainsaw + Narratives
I want to see if I can get down a few of my thoughts on Chainsaw before bed. That’s not really what I’m thinking about right now but it’s something I’ve been meaning to do and I really am tired of talking about my boring self.
I’m going to talk about my favorite scene (so far at least): when Jade and Letha meet at the bench and Letha suggests that Jade was abused by her father.
First, this was where the book really started to pick up for me. I’d been enjoying it even before but this was a new level of page-turning. I also liked the too-obvious-to-be-coincidental queer content, the clear flirtation and Jade’s obvious crush on Letha. (It does not bother me that it never went farther than that, which I know from accidental spoilers, ha.) And I had also been assuming the exactly same thing from pretty much Jade’s first chapter so, even though that section did not confirm anything, I did feel vindicated in my own reading-between-the-lines skills.
To me, it was fairly obvious that Jade was a survivor of sexual assault or abuse from the way she reacted to any suggestion that she was the final girl, in her conversation with the construction grunts in the intro. She clearly wanted to be the final girl, she found that…flattering isn’t even the right word, like it made her feel warm, she had a desire or yearning for it. But she insisted it was cut off from her because final girls are “pure.” She even explicitly connected purity and virginity. And she stressed purity repeatedly when first describing Letha, way more than I would personally in describing a final girl. And yet, Jade is clearly a misfit and an outcast, and she acts out a lot, but she doesn’t act out through sexual promiscuity. She doesn’t even seem like she’d know how. She’s extremely awkward with people, she can’t flirt, she makes it fairly clear in multiple places that she has no past relationships with any of her classmates—if she’s not a virgin, something happened that wasn’t consensual.
And of course, the obsession with slashers and the specific focus on the slasher as the avenging angel, the embodied retribution for an old, bad prank, the wave of violence that malefactors who’ve gotten away with some great sin for years soundly deserve—all of that implies that she herself is seeking justice or revenge, that she has a deep desire or need for it and that is why she seeks out this genre and analyzes it so minutely from this point of view.
Similarly, I basically had the same Bay of Blood story reading as Letha, if maybe a little less detailed. It also struck me as a story very much about what wasn’t said: why she was in another town, why she was going to a doctor, why her mom was debating with herself in the car and about what, etc.
What I most like about the scene, though, was this idea of the narrative and how people, especially teenagers perhaps, use narrative structure to give meaning to their own lives. Prior to this scene, we’ve mostly been deep, deep inside Jade’s head, seeing things as she sees them. Yes, it’s obvious that she’s quite literally and broadly applying movie rules to her life as if they were objective rules about the physical world and that isn’t, perhaps, the behavior of someone with a firm grasp on reality. There are real killings so we know she’s partially right about something, but we also know that presumably this story takes place in the real world and not in a movie (although it has certain similarities to movies other than the Jade-imposed structure) and so her movie-based expectations are a bit too bluntly applied. And certainly from the outside, she must look positively deranged.
And yet it’s easy to get caught up in her version of the narrative, because we’re so closely aligned with her and she is so often alone and in her own head, without anyone around to make counterarguments. Seeing her suddenly from the outside was, I think, the real turning point that I was talking about before. It clarified and elucidated this whole other angle on the narrative: Jade seen at least semi-objectively. A peek outside of the claustrophobic nature of her brain.
Jade is a really obvious example of someone who needs the narrative. She learned the rules of the slasher, she wrote a whole mini-book on them, even, and now she’s using those same rules and that same reliable, comforting structure to corral her own life and her own little town. It’s a distraction from her traumatic past but it also gives that past meaning; the abuse wasn’t some chaotic, evil, pointless terror but the first, necessary event in a larger arc of justice, growth, fortitude, strength. I definitely do believe, in general, that humans are attracted to the narrative. We like to give our lives meaning so we interpret events and facts through the lens of certain known stories or myths, or create an arc of meaning from any sort of jumble of events that seem too arbitrary on their own. Jade just takes it to an extreme, probably in part because of the abuse, and probably in part because of her age.
So it was a real mind-blown moment for me that Letha did the same thing. She read between the lines of Jade’s essay and then she slotted HER into a narrative that Letha herself found familiar and soothing, that served the same functions for her as the horror narrative does for Jade: it makes sense of certain facts, and it makes those facts easier to deal with. It just makes sense, right? Here she was, feeling horrible that she had to leave her home and all her friends in her senior year of high school, and for what? To help Jade. To save this new classmate. The Indian classmate who completely unsurprisingly comes from an abusive background. The classmate who left a whole bunch of weird papers and a VHS tape wrapped up in a pair of pants in her mailbox, an action with many layers, all of which are utterly bizarre and disquieting. Why is she so weird? Why are she and Letha drawn together? Because of fate! Because she’s a tragic victim and Letha is a hero. Because Letha is going to ride in like a white knight and save her poor, distressed new friend.
Weirdly, they actually have the same fantasy/narrative, just in different genres. Letha’s is after-school special/lifetime movie and Jade’s is horror, but in both Letha is the savior, the fated one.
I think that was basically my point and also I’m falling asleep here. Anyway, future posts: Jade as the final girl and what Jade sees in the slasher narrative as it applies to her own life. This might be one post. I’m not really sure how much I’ll have to say on each one—it’ll probably be, like this post, a situation where I feel like I have some really grand point that I’m proud of and then I see it in words and I’m like, yeah, duh. But it’s still nice to get the thoughts down. (Also let’s hope I actually remember the second one, I definitely had thoughts about it but already they’re kind of hazy.
0 notes
Text
Master model builder lego
Master model builder lego movie#
Master model builder lego full#
Of, he said it was something he built for Yale-New Haven Children’s Hospital inġ993. Paul Chrzan from Connecticut began working with LEGO in 1988 and became a Great read: Lego Master Builder Interview.
Master model builder lego movie#
Interview with a Master Builder right after The LEGO Movie came out, which is a But althoughīuilding the attractions for LEGOLAND is their main job, Master Builders alsoīuild many projects outside of LEGOLAND that are used for public display. See, with creations like this one above, Master Builders make LEGOLAND parks andĭiscovery centers fantastic places to visit for LEGO fans. Locations (Billund, Denmark Windsor, England Günzburg, Germany Nusajaya, Malaysia Florida, California). Normal jobs are at LEGO’s Discovery centers, and its six LEGOLAND theme park Movie was a special project that Master Builders worked on, but Master Builders’ Check out a write-up about it from the blog, Adventures byĭaddy: THE LEGO MOVIE EXPERIENCE Now Open at Master Builders were enlisted to build the live-action version set of The LEGOĬan visit the set from the movie at LEGOLAND California as part of The LEGO The movie Emmet proves himself to also be a Master Builder.īuilders were actually essential to the film in real life as well. Emmet met all of them at a Master Builders meeting in Cloud Cuckoo They were a group of elite builders and creators that made the LEGO Remember, a group of characters (minifigures) in the film were called Masterīuilders. Line of work is so significant to the LEGO brand that it got a major role in Might just be a higher class of overall Master Model Builders. I couldn’t get a clear answer from the internet. This week I will be talking aboutĪnother amazing LEGO job, which involves a little less creativity and a lotĪre also called Master Model Builders…unless that is actually a completelyĭifferent job. Two weeks ago I covered the coveted job of LEGO designer. Week of April LEGO fans! (Sorry, but I will never get good at these greetings.) Does this sound like you? If it does, shoot us your resume.The Brick Connection – A novice Lego fan explores the great brick world of LEGO We’re always on the look out for dreamers who want to embrace the work and share in the fun.
Master model builder lego full#
ATG was built by and is moving forward with a company full of Future of Design dreamers. You can read more about Veronica and the Future of Design on the jump. It’s meant to help us all rediscover the kid in us all so we can build a creative future where anything is possible and we’re only limited by our capacity to dream. It’s meant to inspire Imagination and Play. So often when we talk about the Future of Design we focus solely on the traditional business forms of what we think that phrase means, when really, we should keep our eye on the ball and remember that the Future of Design is fun. Open trophy (complete with a tiny, victorious Serena Williams figure) to a very realistic model of Picasso’s famed Guernica work. Then I can represent the most important parts because I can’t re-create every aspect of it.” Veronica has modeled things like a replica of the Women’s U.S. Because I’m trying to represent something, I have to look at the object and really zero in on what are the most essential elements of it. But in school, I spent a lot of time analyzing buildings to determine their time periods or specific, important aspects of movement. When I’m building with LEGO, it’s a similar thought process. Ironically, I don’t typically build architecture-themed models. How has this influenced your work with LEGO? There is definitely a big crossover between architecture and LEGO. “ You graduated with a degree in architecture. After graduating from New York University with a degree in Architecture & Urban Design, she landed what might the dream job of being one of seven LEGO Master Model Builders. So today, we want to introduce you to Veronica Watson, a 23-year-old LEGO Master Model Builder. In honor of Friday and because we posted about LEGO tape last week, it only felt right to continue the LEGO conversation this Friday. By Jamie Moody Marketing Director It’s Friday, ya’ll.
0 notes
Text
Let’s examine the dynamic between Hunter and Luz, Part 2
Whoop this is gonna be a long one as well...
Note that some of this may drift a little bit away from analyzing solely Hunter and Luz’s dynamic, but I promise I’ll always circle back to it.
Link to part 1 is right here
Last we left off, Luz and Hunter have decided to join forces in a truce to thwart Kikimora’s plans to give Emperor Belos the palismen herself. On a wall, Luz draws a fire glyph and an ice glyph and connects them together. Intrigued, Hunter states that he’s never seen a spell like this before, and asks what it will do. Luz begins explaining how it’ll work, only for Hunter to pick up on what she’s doing halfway through and finish the explanation for her. Luz looks at him, thoroughly surprised that he has such knowledge.
Hunter apologizes for interrupting and states that he read about a similar spell in a book about Wild Magic, which happens to be a book Luz has read as well. Hunter seems surprised in turn when realizing him and Luz share a common interest in Wild Magic. He starts to have what I call a “nerd moment”, where he’s starting to get really excited about what he’s talking about. He mentions that these glyphs look very similar to magic that was once practiced back in the Savage Ages. He seems almost thrilled to be talking to someone else who’s interested in Wild Magic, which is something he can’t talk freely about in the Emperors Coven, lest he receive abuse from Belos.
However, his smile fades and he cuts himself off, saying that information on Wild Magic is restricted for a reason, and that Luz ought to stop messing around with it before she gets hurt.
And here is something that strikes me as interesting; Hunter’s family is supposedly gone because of Wild Magic. So if that’s the case, then why is he so fascinated with Wild Magic himself, to the point where it’s something he even greatly enjoys studying and talking about? I can’t really think of any other good reason for this, other than the idea that when Belos mentioned their family, he was really talking about his own family, since it’s alluded that Hunter was likely “adopted” to Belos’ family in a way.
After Hunter tells Luz to stop messing with Wild Magic, Luz tells him that, outside of Lilith, she’s never talked to anyone from the Emperors Coven before. And asks what made him want to join? Hunter looks genuinely surprised. It doesn’t seem like he’s ever been asked this question before. Looking away from Luz, perhaps in a sense of shame, he admits that he’s a powerless witch, and that most of his ancestors were. He never felt like he’d ever have a future in their world. That is until Belos found him and took him in, and gave him a staff with artificial magic, telling Hunter that the Titan had “big plans” for him.
Let’s go over a little analysis here. Hunter says that Belos found him. This is the statement that leads many of us to believe that the two of them aren’t actually blood-related. However, to me it still seems odd that Hunter would call Belos his uncle. Perhaps Belos wanted Hunter to call him uncle? Maybe, but it still seems odd to me for Belos to take in this random young boy as his family. Especially when Belos refers to their family as being the same thing. Part of me believes that perhaps Belos is his biological uncle, but he was estranged from the family. Either way, it’s an interesting bit.
And we also have a better understanding as to why Hunter stays in the Emperor’s Coven (besides everything I went over in my post analyzing his dynamic with Emperor Belos). The Emperor gave him a purpose in his life, giving him magic when he never had any. Giving him a title, and making him important. This all likely seemed wonderful to Hunter at first, but as we see later on it comes with a definite price.
Alright back to Hunter’s dynamic with Luz...
Luz listens to what Hunter has to say, and she sits beside him saying, “It must be nice to have your future planned out for you.” To which Hunter responds, “At least you get to plan your own.” It’s this exchange right here that really shows how Hunter feels about his situation. He wants to be free to decide what he wants to do with his life, but he’s now found himself bound to the Emperor’s Cult Coven, tied to a future he’s not sure he even wants. More than anything, Hunter wants to be free. This is the deepest desire of his heart.
And how do I know this? Because right after he speaks right here, Little Rascal, the red cardinal palisman, shows up and comes right to him. Palisman are drawn toward like-minded souls, and the palisman at Hexside chose someone after they shared their deepest wish. This palisman wants freedom, just like Hunter, and this is why he chooses to become his palisman at the end of the episode. (Not to mention Rascal was trying to run away and ‘be free’ at the beginning of the episode).
Okay, again, back to Hunter and Luz’s dynamic...
After their little conversation, Luz and Hunter team up and Luz prepares to cast the spell. Tough hesitant at first, gives Hunter his staff. He asks if she’s sure, and she puts her trust in him. He takes back his staff and Luz activates the glyphs. The plan goes well and Kikimora’s hand dragon falls from the sky, both with her and the palismen as well. But as soon as Luz goes to make sure the palismen are okay, Hunter is ready to betray her, activating his staff and pointing it right at her.
Luz, however, isn’t angry with him. She’s clearly not happy with him here, but she’s not angry. But rather hurt and disappointed. She asks Hunter if he’s really willing to give up innocents to Belos. Luz then delivers this important and impactful line to Hunter: “I thought that maybe you were a good guy. But I guess I was wrong. You’re not my friend. You’re just the Golden Guard.”
That last comment seems to deeply hurt him. The idea of just being the Golden Guard and losing himself to that false identity is a scary thing for him to think about. So, in that moment, he lowers his staff, removes his mask, and finally reveals his true name to Luz. Hunter did this because he finally got to connect with someone for probably the first time in his life. And I mean really connect with someone. He was starting to feel like someone saw him for him, and not the Golden Guard. So when Luz said that he’s just the Golden Guard, he was hurt, and immediately decided to try and change that. he didn’t want the one person he’s been able to connect with to know him as a title. He wanted her to know him as a person. And what better way to do that than start by telling someone your name?
Luz gasps when Hunter reveals to her his real name. But why? Was it because she saw the good in him, and maybe thought he was having a change of heart? Or was it because he was suddenly sharing such a personal piece of himself? I’m not quite sure on that part.
But this moment is cut short when a very disoriented Kikimora tries to attack Luz and Hunter. Hunter is quick to defend Luz, once again showing great fighting skill, and allows a now conflicted and troubled Luz to get away. Both of them are now not sure what to make of the other. Are they friends now? Are they still enemies? Neither one of them seems entirely sure.
And the last bit I want to touch upon here is how at the end of the episode where Kikimora asks Hunter how he survived the ship crash. He simply tells her he was helped by local travelers. Notice how he consciously chooses not to rat out Luz. Just a few hours ago he was ready to arrest her and even threatened her life, but now he’s making an effort to defend and keep her safe.
These two characters are some of the most interesting in the entire series so far, and the dynamic between these two is only going to get more and more interesting the more time goes on, and the more often they are able to meet.
#toh#the owl house#toh luz#the owl house luz#toh hunter#the owl house hunter#toh hunting palismen#toh speculation#toh theory#the owl house speculation#the owl house theory#toh analysis#the owl house analysis#toh golden luz#the owl house golden luz#luz x hunter#toh luz x hunter#the owl house luz x hunter#character dynamics#character analysis#toh season 2#the owl house season 2#toh spoilers#the owl house spoilers
447 notes
·
View notes
Text
forbidden fruit - part one
mark x reader (literally all smut and completely self-indulgent)
mark is the epitome of innocence. pastor’s son and good christian boy. can he be tempted by the forbidden fruit?
UNEDITED
if you see this and you know me. inreal life, no you didn’t
word count: 3.8k (blame red wine me)
warnings: language, fingering, choking kinda? (mark chokes himself), mutual masturbation, mommy kink, handjob, sub mark, blowjob, mentions of virginity and religion, uh wet dreams, sex toys, probably more lmk what i missed
You had met Mark 3 years ago in your church’s youth group. You never really liked church if you were honest, finding the whole thing rather stupid. However, Mark made coming to church very worth it. He was your age, the pastor’s son and probably the most handsome boy in your small town.
You spent your high school years pining after the boy. Your hormones were out of control and associating all horniness with his face. A real problem when you had to spend hours with him at church.
You ran into him one day on your campus your freshman year, his face lighting up as the two of you made small talk. You talked pretty regularly after that, becoming closer than you had been before, and when the two of you moved in together you thought all of your wet dreams were about to come true.
At least until Mark drunkenly confessed to you one night that he was “like totally a virgin, dude.”
The two of you were giggling messes, too many bottles of empty soju surrounding where you sat on the floor. Mark’s cheeks were deep red seconds after the words came out of his mouth.
“Yo, I can’t believe I just said that, omg,” he said, hands covering his face as his ears reddened.
“It’s ok, Mark,” you giggled, pulling his hands off of his face, “I kinda figured you were.”
You hadn’t, but you didn’t want him to feel embarrassed, and you certainly didn’t want him to stop talking about it.
“Really?” he asked, a hopeful look on his face, “are you too?”
“No,” you giggled, hands covering your own face now, Mark’s whine ringing out in your mostly empty living room.
“This-uh,” Mark whispered, “Sorry if this is uh- a weird question and you totally don't have to answer if you don't want to dude, but what did it feel like?”
So you told him, you answered every question he had that night. And when the two of you drunkenly parted ways, it was with a stickiness between your legs and an obvious tent in his pants. And that was the start of your current relationship with Mark.
It had been awkward at first, after that night. But he had started asking you more and more questions. They started off innocently enough, like what kissing felt like. Yeah, he was that innocent. But the questions started getting more and more sexual, and it was getting harder and harder to control yourself around him.
You found yourself starting off simply at first. Changing what you wore around the house. It began by you wearing shorter and shorter pj bottoms. And then by wearing tops that gradually increased in sheerness, until you started just wearing oversized t-shirts. Losing pieces of underwear as you went.
Yeah, you were trying to seduce him. But who could blame you? Mark was the center of your wet dreams, and he had been so since the start of 8th grade. So who were you to deny his request?
It had been a regular Tuesday, classes attended and dinner shared when a blushing Mark had turned to you on the couch.
“Something has been happening to me,” he confessed, his bright pink cheeks enough to make you soften.
“Are you ok?” you had asked, completely convinced that he had never approached any topic like this before with you.
“It’s just-,” he started, glancing nervously to the clasped hands in his lap, “I’ve been thinking about all the answers you’ve given me about...sex and all that. And well everytime that happens, I get this...heat in my abdomen. And no matter what I can’t make it go away.”
“Mark-,” you breathed out, glancing swiftly down to where, sure enough, there was a tent in his pants, “Are you talking about being horny?”
“I don’t- I don’t know what you mean,” he whispered, flushing an (impossibly) deeper shade of pink.
“Oh sweetheart,” you whispered, “Are you feeling the heat in your abdomen now?”
You smiled gently as he nodded shyly back at you. Encouraging him with your facial expression as you hummed in acknowledgement.
“This is called being horny, Mark.” you spoke, much more calmly and clearly than you thought possible because of the heat tickling your own lower half. “What do you normally do when you feel this way?”
“I-I don’t normally do anything,” Mark admitted, eyes flicking up to yours for just a moment before settling back to his own clasped hands, “I just try to distract myself until it goes away.”
“Oh you poor thing,” you whispered, drawing your hand up to Mark’s face and caressing it gently, “Have you ever made yourself cum, Mark?”
Mark looked up at you again, confusion on his brow as he shook his head, “I don’t know-know what you mean.”
“You’re such a sweet angel,” you said, “Would you like me to show you how you can make it go away?”
Mark’s eyes connected with yours, and finally, they stayed there. He looked deep in thought, but before you could rush to apologize and hurry back to your room, he spoke.
“You can make it go away?” he asked hesitantly, and god did you want to ruin him on the spot. Wrap your lips around him and make him curse the lord he so deeply believed in. But you held back. The last thing you wanted to do was scare him away.
“I can show you,” you spoke slowly, “if you want me to.”
“I think I might like that,” he whispered, the bob of his adams apple making you grow damp between your thighs. There was just something about Mark that made you insatiably hungry. And not for a meal.
You scooted closer to him on the couch, ignoring the thumping of your heart and the wetness between your legs as you spoke, “I’m gonna tell you what you need to do. And you’re gonna listen, aren't you, baby?”
Mark’s eyes widened as he gulped, but he still nodded his head. You felt a little bad for how nervous he seemed, considering how excited you were.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” You asked, analyzing his face closely. When he nodded you just tutted at him, “I need words, Mark.”
“Yeah,” he spoke, “I really want to do this.”
“Okay,” you smiled gently at him, “I want you to start by letting your hands explore. Touch everywhere, slowly, and find what feels best for you, Mark.”
You watched intently as he slowly brought his hand up to his neck, letting his fingers hesitantly dance across his skin. His eyes shot to yours when he shuddered, unable to stop himself.
“Is-is that good?” he asked, whining as he dropped his hand to his chest.
“You’re doing so good, Mark,” you encouraged, hesitantly placing your hand on his thigh, “Is it ok if I touch you like this?”
Mark nodded so quickly you almost laughed, the blush dusting his cheeks almost as cute as the way he squirmed under your grasp. His breathing increased as you crept your fingers slowly up his thigh. You let your hand rest on his hip, splaying your fingers so close to his dick but so far away.
“You’re- you’re making it worse,” he stuttered out, letting out a shocked moan as his fingers brushed over his nipple.
“No, baby,” you smirked at him, “I’m making it better.”
Mark’s cock jumped in his sweats, his blush deepening as he let out another quiet moan, “I- I like it when you call me that.”
“Hmm,” you hummed, “I’m glad you like being called baby, it suits you.”
His breath hitched as you dipped a finger beneath the band of his sweats, letting it rest there. You smiled when his hands met yours, grabbing his pants and tugging them off. You almost moaned as his glistening red cock slapped his stomach. He hadn’t been wearing underwear.
“What do I do now?” he whispered, eyes blown out with lust and hair perfectly tousled.
You let your finger trail up to where a bead of precum rested on the head of his dick. You watched as his face scrunched in pleasure, breath knocked out of him as you swirled the wetness around the tip.
“Make sure your hand is wet enough,” you said, spitting into your hand, smirking as Mark’s eyes shot open at the noise, flickering down to where your hand was hovering over his cock.
You watched as he swallowed, his own fingers curling into the couch as he said, “Will you please touch me now?”
“How could I say no when my baby asks so nicely,” you said, eyes never leaving his face as you finally wrapped a hand around his length.
Mark was a sight to behold. Sweat glistened on his forehead as you wrapped your hand tightly around his cock. The guttural moan he let out was enough to have you cumming in your pants, but you held strong. Well as strong as you could as he clung onto your form. You dragged your hand slowly up his length, thumb flicking over the head of his cock as he groaned into your shoulder.
You felt on top of the world, Mark’s pleasure the direct response to every flick of your wrist. You barely recognized him. Whining, needy mess as he mewled into your shoulder.
“Mo-mommy,” he whimpered, hands quickly finding your core, “Can I touch you too?”
Who were you to deny your polite boy, quickly and ungracefully shoving your panties to the side to give Mark an easier access to your heat. You’d be lying if you said the term mommy had no effect on you. In fact, you were dripping at this point, just one look at Mark enough to make your pussy throb in need. Not that you would tell him that.
“Baby,” you said quietly, guiding Mark’s over-enthusiastic hand to your clit, “right here, keep rubbing in circles.”
“Yes, mommy,” he whimpered, shoving his reddened face into your shoulder as your wrist moved quicker up and down his length.
“Good boy,” you groaned, squirming where you sat on the couch as Mark slipped a finger into your dripping cunt.
You were getting each other off at an inhuman pace, the two of you squirming and wiggling where you sat. The pleasure of it all too much to take. This was Mark’s first time feeling any contact on his cock, and you’d be lying if you said you never dreamed of Mark’s fingers pumping into you at the pace they were now.
This was the definition of a wet dream, for both of you. And as you came with his fingers reaching a place in you no one else had reached before, you were determined to make Mark cum.
You flicked your thumb around the head of his cock, watching with half lidded eyes as he shuddered. He was putty in your hands, and there was no way in hell that he would ever be able to touch himself the way you were touching him now. And you didn’t care. The only thing you cared about in this moment was throwing him off the edge with you. Corrupting that sweet little church boy the only way you knew how.
It was with a satisfying grin and an earth-shattering moan from Mark as you watched cum spurt from him. Eyes scrunched in pleasure as his entire body shook with a feeling he had never experienced before. An orgasm.
You watched in wonder as he clung onto you. Sweat dripped from his forehead as he threw his head back on the couch. You watched as his cock twitched as rope after rope of cum sprung from him, years of pent up pleasure finally releasing at your hands. You had never felt more powerful in that moment.
You parted that night with a sweet kiss to his lips after cleaning him up. Boneless Mark even more pliable than before, and as much as you hated yourself for it, you couldn’t stop thinking about what you could do to a sleepy Mark. That night there was no awkwardness between you.
That, of course, changed as time passed, both of you ignoring the mutual pleasure you had achieved by the other's hand. You ignored any feelings you had, whether it be attraction or lust. Mark deliberately avoided you, and as much as you hated to admit it, but you avoided him too.
You were convinced the two of you would never recover from this, from your experimentation with each other's bodies. At least until he burst into your room one Sunday afternoon, notably after his father’s church service, with a question and burning cheeks.
“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he asked, the door to your bedroom swinging into the wall with a loud bang that neither of you could hear.
“Mark?” you asked, putting your laptop to the side as you looked quizzically up at him.
“I watched one..porn video about it last week and I haven't been able to focus since.”
“You watch porn now?” you asked, raising a critical eyebrow as you looked him up and down.
“I-, no” Mark stuttered, face flushing an impossibly deeper shade of red, “yes, what about it?”
“You sound sure of yourself,” you teased, “come sit.”
“Never mind-”Mark rushed out, turning away from you and hurrying towards your open door.
“Sit, Mark. Now please,” you spoke, dominance in your tone as you watched his body language change.
You smiled softly to yourself as he shuffled to your bed, sitting on the edge and avoiding your gaze.
“Did you have a question for me, baby?”
You almost laughed as he sighed, body immediately relaxing at the nickname he had told you he loved so much.
“I was just wondering,” he said, glancing up at you and losing his confidence, “haveyouevergivenablowjob?”
“What was that? I couldn’t quite catch that, Mark,” you said, knowing glance as you watched his lips form into a perfect pout.
“Are you really gonna make me ask again,” he whispered, looking down from where his eyes previously met yours.
“Yes, baby, I am.”
You grasped his hand as he whined, squeezing his palm slightly as he pouted up at you.
“Have you ever given a blowjob?” he whispered, eyes glancing to every corner of the room to avoid your gaze.
“I have.”
You couldn’t help but chuckle as his eyes met yours curiously. Fingers playing with your comforter as you watched the wheels turning in his brain. You were begging him to ask, practically groveling for him to say the words that would fuel the corruption kink you had solely for Mark.
“Can you…” Mark started, scotting subconsciously closer to you, “can you give me one?”
“Well that depends on you, Mark. Do you think you deserve my mouth?”
You watched with bated breath as he nodded, a tent already fully formed in his pants as the conversation went on.
“What makes you think you deserve it, huh? You’ve been ignoring me for weeks, Mark. After Mommy made you feel so good. You ignored me, and now I find out you’ve been watching porn. Being such a naughty boy. Doesn’t really seem right to give you my mouth.”
You had him now, hook line and sinker. He was trapped, listening to every one of your words, waiting with bated breath as you made up your mind.
“I- I’ve never felt it before, Mommy. I promise I’ll be better next time. I’ll do better next time. Just please suck me off,” he begged, filthy words dripping from his mouth in desperation.
“I’m ruining you, Mark,” you whispered, “Absolutely destroying your sweet innocence. What about your God, Mark? Would he want you to beg for my mouth like you just did?”
“I-,” he started, quieting as you pushed a finger towards his lips.
“It’s ok, baby. I’ll make you worship that God of yours in a way you didn’t even know was possible.
You steadied his shaking body as you switched him places on your bed. Sitting in front of him in your disgustingly dirty pj top and messy bun as he laid in front of you. You tugged his pants down, licking your lips in want as his cock slapped his stomach.
You wanted this just as much as he did, evident by your drool and dirty thoughts. You hadn’t noticed his sizable length before, too focused on all of the other unbelievable things that had happened before wrapping your hand around his cock. You took it all in now, the glory of Mark’s cock, pulsing red and so incredibly hard in need. If he hadn’t whimpered you would’ve stared at this beautiful sight for hours. But he was needy and so were you. So you wrapped your mouth around him. And dear God was Mark a sight to behold.
He had stars in his eyes as your tongue ran up the length of his cock. He could barely contain himself as his hips bucked up into your mouth. Politeness leaving his body as he followed his craving for pleasure.
Within seconds his hands were in your hair. Tugging as you worked your mouth over his sensitive length. He was barely holding it together, and the second you reached the bottom of his cock, he cursed.
His hips were itching to move, you could feel the way they bucked ever so slightly as you took him. Your hands grasped his thigh tightly as he unintentionally pushed your head down. You were taking as much as he gave you, and as he whined in pleasure you couldn’t help A second later he wasn’t touching you anymore, eyes wide when you glanced up at him.
“So-sorry,” he whispered, for what you weren’t sure.
“What’s wrong, Mark?” you asked gently.
“I should go,” he said, face paling as he scooted further away from you on the bed, “This isn’t right.”
You stood up quickly, sitting beside him and cupping his face in your hands, “Mark you can go if you want to, I won’t stop you. But do you really think something that felt so good could be bad?”
“I-I don’t know,” he whispered, shying away from your touch, “I’m going to the library.”
He stood up quickly, half tripping as he tried to pull his pants back up, fumbling with himself and the door as he tried to leave.
“Mark,” you called out to him, waiting until he turned to meet your gaze before continuing, “It’s ok that you aren’t ready yet. But I’m always here if you have more questions.”
He nodded at you, “Thank you, for understanding,” blush returning to his cheeks as he spoke, “I feel comfortable around you, Yn.”
He closed the door after he left, and while your Sunday afternoon was spent attached to a vibrator, you were glad Mark had felt comfortable enough with you to tell you that he wasn’t comfortable.
Maybe you had pushed him too far, and as much as it killed you, you were glad he was taking his time. If your baby wasn’t ready to go any further than handjobs, then that was that. He was too innocent to be corrupted, which is what made corrupting him all the better.
Yes, Mark had been full of curiosity and questions. But you were the one who wasn’t ready for the question he asked next.
#mark smut#mark angst#mark fluff#mark fanfic#mark lee smut#mark lee angst#mark lee fluff#mark lee fanfic#mark tuan smut#mark tuan angst#mark tuan fluff#mark tuan fanfic#this i wrote with mark lee in mind but its hot either way
489 notes
·
View notes
Text
Night Changes
This isn't based on an ask, but I've had some early-Cap ideas brewing and think about the first time the team heard him laugh a lot. His and James' friendship is so sweet in SW--the beginning of it must have been such a shock to them both. SW credit goes to @lumosinlove!
So maybe James had bitten off more than he could chew. It wasn’t the first time, to be sure, but coaxing (read: drag kicking and screaming) his new teammate out of the carefully-constructed mosaic of scowls that made up his entire personality was proving to be a little more challenging than he previously expected. With most rookies, all it took was some elbow grease and overenthusiastic inclusion in group events to get them to open up—with his brand-new soon-to-be best friend, he had to handle things a little more delicately.
Sirius Black was a puzzle wrapped up in one of those freaky code-breaking machines from World War Two Lily liked to talk about. He was one of the best hockey players James had ever seen, but off the ice he seemed to shut down. The intense focus on his face smoothed out into almost perfect neutrality, and in the four months since he joined the Lions, he had never once smiled for real in front of the team. He sat in his stall and padded up in silence, then went out and kicked ass before following Pascal home like a living shadow.
Naturally, James took it as a personal mission to pry Sirius Black’s closed-off persona open like a stubborn oyster. He tried including Sirius in group events—the rookie went along with a quiet “yeah, sure”, but sat at the table and nursed a single drink for the entire night. He tried getting into friendly banter with him on the ice, but it was like Sirius had never joked with anyone in his life. Hell, he even tried finding him a girlfriend, which tanked harder than the goddamn Titanic.
“Rookie!” James shouted down the hallway.
Sirius jumped and turned around, obviously confused. “Me?”
“Yes, you,” James laughed, jogging over to toss an arm over his shoulders. “What’s up?”
“Not much.”
He waited for Sirius to continue, then rolled his eyes and gave him a friendly shake. “C’mon, man, how was your weekend? Has Dumo coerced you into being a stay-at-home babysitter yet?”
Sirius’ frown deepened. “What? I come with him to practice every day.”
Change tactics, change tactics— “Got any plans for Friday?”
James knew the answer, of course; it was always no or not yet or a simple shake of the head. If he was a less observant man, he would have assumed Sirius didn’t actually want to hang out with the team. But the longing looks toward their easy rhythm and the way he always tilted himself toward locker room conversations told a different story. “None yet,” Sirius said with a shrug.
James gave him a friendly slap on the back. “Good, ‘cause I’m having a party at my place and you’re not allowed to miss it.”
“Why not?”
“Because I want you to be there, duh.” The bewilderment didn’t fade from Sirius’ face, but beneath it—well, maybe James was just seeing things, but he looked almost hopeful. He ruffled Sirius’ hair and headed for the locker room. “Friday at five, rookie! I’ll be waiting!”
--
The week passed in a slog of practices and cold weather. Sirius clammed up more and more as the party drew closer, but James didn’t miss the way his eyes flickered between the rest of them like he was analyzing a play. He would make one hell of a captain someday, if he could just relax a little.
“Hey, rookie, want a ride?” he asked when the big day finally arrived.
“Don’t you want to go home and set up first?” Sirius’ brow furrowed. For an eighteen-year-old kid, he was awfully thoughtful. James couldn’t wait to see him let loose a little. “I wouldn’t want to get in your way.”
“It’s a yes or no question,” he teased, poking the bit of exposed shoulder through the widening hole in Sirius’ under armor.
“I…” He faltered, then the corner of his mouth twitched up. It was the closest thing James had seen to a smile from him yet. One point for Potter. “Sure, Pots. Thanks.”
“No problem. Meet me at my car in five or so, yeah?”
“D’accord.”
“Oho, fancy French,” James laughed, turning back to unlace his skates.
It wasn’t until thirty seconds after Sirius left the room that he remembered he never told the rookie what his car looked like. Horrible, terrible visions of the poor guy wandering around the parking lot—or, god forbid, thinking James had left without him—flashed through his mind. It would undo everything he had been working so hard to build.
“Shit,” he hissed under his breath as he shoved his gear into his duffel with reckless abandon and hurried out of the locker room. His legs would be stiff from trying to run so soon after a grueling drill practice, but it was worth it to save his friend. “Rookie? Hey, Sirius, you still here?”
There was no response. James cursed again and made a beeline for the door to the parking lot. Please, God, don’t let him get lost. I need him to trust me.
“Oh, thank fuck,” he panted as he burst out onto the half-frozen concrete.
Sirius looked up from his phone with a strange expression. “Are you okay?”
“Thought I lost you for a sec.”
“You said to meet at your car, yes?” He glanced between James and the car in sudden worry.
“Yeah, yes, absolutely, I just—” He made an aborted gesture and dug his keys out of his pocket. “I realized I forgot to tell you which one is mine.”
Sirius blinked at him. “I know what your car looks like.”
“How?”
“Because you drive it here every single day and you gave me a ride three weeks ago.”
‘Dumbass’ went unsaid, but James could feel it hanging in the air. He coughed lightly. “Right. Anyway, you can toss your bag wherever and hop in the passenger seat. My place isn’t far from here.”
Sirius took his duffel as he unlocked the car and settled both in the trunk with more care than James’ poor, battered bag had ever seen in its life. That was another thing that confused him about Sirius Black—he was so careful. He walked quietly for someone so tall, and each movement seemed pre-planned.
Each movement, that is, until he tried to get in the car. “Uh, Pots?”
“That’s m—oh.” James covered his mouth to stifle his laughter as Sirius tried to fold himself into the passenger seat and failed miserably. “I’m sorry, my girlfriend was sitting there last. Uh, there’s a lever on your right—yeah, there, just give it a pull and—”
With a harsh ka-chunk, the seat slid all the way back. Both men froze. It took everything in James’ power not to burst out laughing at the deer-in-headlights shock on Sirius’ face.
“Yep, that one,” he managed. “Nice job.”
They drove in relative quiet—James chattered on about weekend plans and hummed to the radio while Sirius watched out the window with the occasional monosyllable response. It took James a bit by surprise how comfortable he was, even without a steady stream of banter. Sirius might have been stubborn and silent and determined to foil all James’ plans at getting him to socialize, but he was calming to be near, like an anchor on unsteady water. Despite his overall quiet air, he was obviously paying attention to every word that left James’ mouth.
“You’re a good guy, y’know that?” he said as they turned onto his street. Sirius glanced over in surprise. “Most people tune me out within, like, five minutes.”
“I’m a good listener.”
James opened his mouth to respond, then paused. “Was that—Sirius Black, was that a joke?”
Something akin to mischief—mischief!—crossed his face. “Maybe.”
“Were you roasting me?” James gaped at him. “Oh my god. The guys are never gonna believe this.”
“Probably not.”
“You sick bastard. They won’t believe me.”
“You can give it a shot,” Sirius said with a shrug as the engine turned off. Pieces began to connect in James’ head as he stared, incredulous, at the rookie he thought would never even crack a smile. Four months of work had not been wasted, as he had feared; every joke, every one-sided conversation, and every attempt to get Sirius involved had been seen and heard and taken to heart. When he thought about it, he wasn’t sure he had ever seen Sirius actively agree to something unless James asked personally.
“We’re friends,” he said aloud, too surprised and too happy to hold it in. Not friends in the way James was with the rest of their loud, over-the-top teammates, but friends all the same.
“Well, yeah,” Sirius said as if it was obvious.
James unbuckled his seatbelt and socked him lightly on the shoulder, barely suppressing a shriek of excitement. “Love you, man. Grab your shit, we’ve got a party to set up.”
----------------
As much as it pained James to say it, having someone around who was six-foot-three was a huge help. There was no blow to his pride as he dragged Lily’s stepstool out; no grudging acceptance that he simply couldn’t reach those last two inches on the wall. Instead, he could foist any and all responsibility on his brand-new best friend in the whole wide world and focus on the things that mattered, like putting anything breakable or important far away from the grubby hands of his inebriated teammates.
His success was still ringing in his ears when the guests finally arrived—throughout the evening, James rode the high of accomplishing his mission to pull Sirius Black into his tight-knit circle. Every minute of those four months was worth it.
Midnight came and went, and by one-thirty in the morning James’ cramped living room was packed with tipsy hockey players in a vague imitation of a circle. “Non, non, I’ve gotta good one,” Dumo said, hiccupping. The room fell quiet as he leaned forward. “What do you call a body of water with a chicken in it?”
“What?” Kasey whispered, starry-eyed like a kid at Christmas.
“A swimming pool.”
The room stayed quiet, and then someone started to laugh. Slowly, they all turned to the source of the noise, and James felt a ripple of shock roll through the team as Sirius snorted. “It’s a swimming pool,” he said around a smile, his accent thick from three drinks. He had a nice laugh; James could get used to hearing it. “Like—poule, like chicken?”
His whole face was alight with happiness. James wasn’t sure whether to cry or cheer. That’s what I’ve been waiting for, he thought. That look, right there. Sirius fit in among the group like a missing piece of their puzzle, snickering away as if he hadn’t been stoically silent a day in his life. His laugh was downright bubbly.
“I don’t think they get it,” Dumo said into the rim of his cup.
Sirius shook his head, trying to catch his breath. “D’accord, so—so ‘chicken’ in French is poule, yeah? So a chicken in a body of water is a swimming poule. Do you get it now?”
A few oh’s of understanding washed over them, but several people continued to stare. “Too drink for this,” Sergei grumbled, though James could see the smile pulling at his mouth as Sirius turned to him with bright eyes.
“But it’s funny!” Sirius protested, so earnest it made James’ heart hurt.
“I think it’s funny, rookie,” he assured him with a clumsy pat on the arm. “And it’s my house, so I say Dumo gets a point this round.”
Kasey hiccupped. “Hey, anyone who makes the rookie laugh gets points in my book. No offense, dude.”
“None taken,” Sirius said, though his cheeks were pink.
James nudged him with his shoulder as Talker started a knock-knock joke. “It’s okay,” he said under his breath.
Sirius picked at the label on his cup. “I know I haven’t been very social,” he muttered.
“It’s okay,” James insisted. “It always takes rookies a while to warm up, so we’re just glad you’re happy. I’m glad my best friend is having a good time at my party.”
A heavy silence fell between them as Sirius looked over, eyebrows raised. “Best friend?”
“What, like you didn’t see this coming?” James slung an arm over his shoulder. “Yes, you French-Canadian nerd, you’re my best friend. And that means I’m your best friend, and there’s no take-backsies.”
“What the hell is a take-backsie?” Sirius laughed. “Did you make that up?”
James grinned. He had the feeling this was the beginning of an excellent friendship.
#sirius black#james potter#pascal dumais#kasey winter#sergei ivanov#thomas walker#rookie#sweater weather#lumosinlove#my fic#fanfic#pre-cap#friendship
235 notes
·
View notes
Text
where are you?
synopsis: you feel insecure with colson and he’s having none of it. (itty bitty titty committee!fem!reader)
wc: 4k
warnings: smut (18+), unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it and all that), dom/sub undertones, “sir”, soft dom!colson, praise kink, choking kink.
a/n: this is my first ever smut so pls be gentle! i wrote the reader as small chested, but nothing else is described because ik how annoying it can be when small chested reader starts turning into skinny reader, so i hope you enjoy! please tell me what you think and how well i did because this is so nerve wracking!!! i love you guys!!
“Col, what are you doing?” You whined, crossing your arms over your chest. You were both lying on the couch when he suddenly jumped up and pulled you along with him.
“Wait a minute.” He giggled as he set up his phone on top of a contraption made of random books he found lying around and two tissue boxes. His front facing camera was open and from what you could tell he was filming on tiktok.
“Oh my god, is that tiktok?” You groaned lightly. Colson had been obsessed with watching tiktoks recently, yet he hadn’t been really into making them. But the last time Casie was over, she taught him how to navigate the app and he was so eager to create. But did he have to be eager right now? You hadn’t had a chance to lie down with him all day.
“Yes,” he replied and walked away from his phone to stand directly in front of you, “now stand like this.” He instructed as he placed his large hands on your waist and positioned you to face him properly, taking your hands in his gingerly and putting them by your side.
The first few notes left the speakers of his phone and you furrowed your eyebrows as you tried to figure out the name of the song. “Am I supposed to react or something?”
“No no, just wait.” He smiled, incredibly excited for whatever this was. As the music grew louder, Colson came closer and brought his hand up and grabbed the collar of your sweater gently in his palm. He pulled the sweater outwards and leaned forward to look down your shirt.
“Where are you?” He mouthed with the music.
Your jaw dropped as you threw your head back in laughter, your hand instinctively coming up to cover your chest once more. “You motherfucker!”
Colson laughed and pulled you into him by the hem of your sweater, “Come on, you know that was funny.” The audio replayed in the background as the time allotted for the video was used up, leading Colson to let go of you and reach for his phone.
“It was.” You agreed. “Doesn’t make you less of a dick.”
“You know I love your tiny tits, babe.” He mumbled as he fiddled with his phone.
“You better.” You chuckled and went back to the couch, hoping that your blanket was still warm.
“Hey, I’m gonna post this. Is that cool?” He called out to you.
“Go ahead.” You replied as you made yourself comfortable. “That was funny. Is it a trend or something?”
“Yeah,” he nodded, “there was another audio that went like ‘to girls with anything smaller than a b cup, I hope you gentlemen have a good day’ or something. I thought that was funnier, but I couldn’t find it.”
“Yeah, tiktok’s search thing is crap.” You rolled your eyes. “Honestly, the most memorable part of the videos on their platform is the audio. You should be able to find things without having everything saved in your favorites.”
“Anything else I should include in my email to tiktok’s team?”
“Yes, tell them to verify me while they’re at it.”
It was only an hour or so later when Colson had to leave for something or other, he had told you about it a few days prior but you couldn’t remember for the life of you. He said that he’d be back before midnight, which was code for ‘you should wait up for me’. It was around ten p.m. when you decided that you should probably freshen up and put something nice on.
After a quick shower and some of that lotion that Colson loved the smell of, you sat on the damp bathroom counter and pulled out your little makeup bag that you had yet to unpack after your last trip with Colson.
Makeup wasn’t a necessity for nights with your boyfriend, but you knew he loved how roughed up you looked with smeared lipstick and mascara running down your cheeks. So you put on your heaviest mascara that wasn’t waterproof, focusing on your lower lashes, and one of your cheapest lipsticks so it wouldn’t stain no matter how badly it smeared.
You weren’t really thinking of how you would look as you went through your routine, but more of what would happen when Colson got home. So when you opened your lingerie drawer, full of red, black, and bright pink sets all thanks to Colson, you were surprised to be hit by feelings of insecurity and dread.
Considering the fact that your relationship with Colson was almost a year long thus far, you hadn’t felt insecure or uncomfortable with him in so long. Was it really… No. It couldn’t be.
That stupid tiktok. It was getting to you.
You weren’t sure why. You knew it was a joke, a good one at that. It hadn’t made you uncomfortable at the time. Nor did it now, really. You and Colson have joked about the size of your boobs many times, just like how you joked about how skinny he was or how bad morning breath always was. It was just how your relationship grew to be after you both fully let loose around each other.
So why was this getting to you? You tried to come to a conclusion as you pulled on one of your favorite sets. As you stared at yourself in the mirror and adjusted the lingerie, you heard the front door open and decided that the time for analyzing your insecurities was not now.
Moments after you settled down on the bed, the door open and revealed Colson in a nice fancy looking suit. He let out a low whistle as he dropped his phone and his keys on the dresser, “Wow. What did I do in this world to deserve this?”
“I think you just got real lucky.” You smirked. “Love the get up, lover boy.”
“Yeah? Balmain for next week’s carpet.” He did a little spin as he walked closer. A fitting with Balmain, that’s right. “How much do you love it?”
“Not enough.” You feigned a frown and cocked your head to the side. “I’d like it off now, please and thank you.”
“Since you used your manners.” He smiled as he shrugged off the white suit jacket, disposing of the shirt and the pants quickly after, leaving him in just his boxers. “You look gorgeous, sweetheart. I’d rip that set off you if I didn’t know how much it costs.”
“I don’t mind,” you purred as he climbed onto the bed next to you, “my man can buy me another.”
“Your man?” Colson raised his eyebrows at you, the corners of his mouth slightly upturned. He pulled you onto his lap, purposefully placing the damp patch on your lace panties against his pulsing erection.
Your hips bucked up at the contact and you hissed. “Yeah- my man.” You leaned forward and placed a soft kiss against his lips, pulling away as soon as he tried to take it further. “He takes care of me so well.”
“How does he take care of you, sweetheart?” Colson asked as he trailed his hands upwards against your thighs, one of them speeding up to your waist while the other stayed on its course. Your boyfriend wasn’t one for teasing, especially when he was as hard as he is now, so you knew where his hand was headed and it wasn’t going to take long.
“He fucks me so-” You gasped as his fingers reached the side of your panties, pushing them aside to stroke you gently. “He fucks me so good.” A moan escaped you as his pointer finger slowly sunk into you, knuckle by knuckle.
“Yeah I do.” Colson grinned as he watched your face contort. “So pretty, baby.” He let his thumb rest against your clit once his finger was fully sheathed inside of you.
“Colson,” you whined as you tried to ride his finger, “move.”
He pouted at you mockingly. “You were being so nice just now with your ‘please and thank you.’ You’re throwing around commands now?”
“Please, please, touch me.” He wasted no time in pumping his finger in and out and using his thumb to circle your clit. You whimpered at the attention, losing yourself to the pleasure. He had barely touched you and you were already desperate. “Another one, Colson. Please?”
“I love it when you use your manners, baby girl. Always so polite.” He smiled and watched you carefully as he pushed in his middle finger with the next thrust. His middle finger being slightly longer in addition to the girth of both fingers had your jaw dropping as your head fell back. “So perfect. Look at you, taking my fingers so well. Think you can take my cock just as good?”
“Yes, yes, please Colson.” You nodded fervently, trying to pull yourself off of his fingers. But he wouldn’t let you, pushing up along with you to keep his hand in place as he tsked at you.
“Not now babygirl, need you to come for me first. I don’t wanna hurt you.” He replied as he brought the hand on your waist up to your face. “Can you come for me?”
You whined as your eyebrows furrowed, eyes screwed shut at this point. “Wanna come on your cock.”
“And you will,” Colson reassured you, letting his hand fall to your neck, his thumb gently stroking the column of your throat, “but you gotta give me one before I can let you. I know you can, sweetheart. You’re always such a good girl for me, always taking care of me. Let me take care of you.” He circled your bud faster as he praised you, pushing his fingers in as deep as he could without hurting you to press up against your g-spot. He watched as you rolled your eyes back as the pleasure hit you and he knew you were close.
He let his hand trail down your chest and then he pulled the lace covering your right breast down. Colson lowered his head and connected his mouth to your hardened nipple and you groaned as he swirled his tongue around it. You grabbed him roughly by the sides of his head and pulled him into a deep kiss. With your eyes closed you didn’t see Colson’s eyebrows knit together in confusion.
He pulled away and looked at you carefully, realizing that you were on the precipice. “Come for me, Angel.” He breathed heavily against your lips. And like a good girl, you did.
Your mouth fell open in a silent scream as you let the pleasure wash over you. Colson smirked as he watched you ride out the high, knowing that he did that to you with only his fingers.
“You really know how to use your hands.” You panted, leaning forward to place your forehead against his.
“I changed your mind on fingering, didn’t I?” He asked. Colson was right, you used to hate being fingered before you met him. It just felt like prodding fingers and harsh jabs in a place that was far too sensitive for that. He begged and begged to touch you for weeks before you finally agreed, and it was probably one of his proudest moments when he managed to make you come five times with just his fingers that night.
“Ugh, I hate that word.” You chuckled,
“What? Fingering?” Colson asked as he gently pulled his fingers out of you, knowing damn well what word it was. “But I thought you liked getting fingered? I always finger you so good, don’t I?”
“Oh my god, shut up!” You laughed. “You are a man child.”
“A man child who’s great at fingering.” He waggled his eyebrows at you as he brought his digits up to his mouth and sucked them clean. He placed his wet fingers against your cheeks and brought you closer to him, kissing you deeply. You could taste yourself on his tongue and it was intoxicating.
“Fuck me already!” You whined as you broke away from him. You pawed at his boxers to show him how desperate you were. “Please, I need you. Been waiting for you all day.”
“Me too, baby.” Colson huffed, lifting you off his lap and putting you down on the bed to take off his boxers. Once they were halfway across the room, Colson tried to push you down on the bed but you resisted.
“Wanna ride you.” You whispered and watched his eyes light up.
“Can I take these off first?” He asked, hand coming up to your bra strap, and you nodded. He reached back and unclasped the fabric, watching the straps gently fall down your shoulder. He always loved undressing you, never letting you do it yourself. His hands came up to gently squeeze both your breasts, thumbs rubbing back and forth on your nipples. You slowly reached down to slip off your panties, knowing that Colson would stop you. “Hey, no. Let me.”
He always undressed you, he thought as he pulled your panties down your legs. Why would you attempt something different today? Something wasn’t adding up.
“Lie back.” You whispered as you pushed him down. You crawled up towards him and moved your legs to straddle his hips. “It’s been too long, baby.”
“I fucked you this morning.” Colson chuckled, voice tight as he felt your sopping wet pussy land on his aching dick.
“Like I said,” you sighed nonchalantly, “too long.”
Colson wasn’t one for teasing. You, on the other hand, lived for it. You glided against his length slowly, slicking him up and torturing him at the same time.
“You’re killing me here, sweetheart.” Colson groaned.
“You know it’s my favorite thing to do, my love.” You smiled, leaning down to kiss him. “Gotta remind you who’s in control.”
“Fuck,” he groaned at your words, “you wanna have that talk now? We both know I give you the reins when I feel like it.” He swiftly flipped the two of you over, leaving him hovering over your body. His right hand quickly reached up to circle your throat, applying the slightest bit of pressure. “Now be a good girl and ride my dick like you said you would.”
“Yes sir,” you smiled as you got the exact reaction you were hoping for. He dropped down next to you and helped you back into your previous position, but you stayed hovering over his hips. You grabbed the base of his cock and positioned the tip against your entrance. Slowly lowering yourself, you let go once the tip was firmly in place. You placed both hands against Colson’s heavily inked chest and pushed down the rest of the way.
You both moaned in unison when he bottomed out after what felt like forever. Colson tried to move his hips, but with the slight shake of your head he paused. “Gimme a- gimme a second, Mr. Monster Cock.”
“After all this time, sweetheart?” He smirked.
“You say that every time, Colson.” You laughed as you tried to relax. “Okay.” You nodded as you slowly lifted yourself off his hips, pausing at the tip and then lowering yourself a little faster than before. “Feels bigger every time. You’re not taking those penis enlargement pills, are you?” You knew you were only stroking his ego at this point, but his face was worth it.
“They should probably use me for their ads.”
“They’d sell out too fast.” You groaned, your eyes fluttering shut. “I should ride you more often.”
“You don’t like it when I’m in control?” He asked, head rolling back and accentuating his adam’s apple. He opened his eyes and placed his palm against your throat again, warning you.
“Love it when you’re in control, baby.” You hummed. “But I gotta say, watching you from this angle is the closest thing I’ve ever seen to heaven.”
“Good answer.” He chuckled, letting his hand slip down to your chest. Before he could even try to hold you, you grabbed his hand and pushed it against the bed, holding it there.
It finally clicked in Colson’s head as he saw the sweater you were wearing earlier that morning hung up behind the door. You had barely let him touch you today after he filmed that stupid tiktok. Oh fuck no, this wasn’t gonna happen on his watch.
He sat up with you still in his lap and grabbed both of your hands. “What are you doing, y/n?” His tone and the use of your name and not a pet name stopped you in your tracks.
“I’m fucking my boyfriend, what are you doing?” You asked, not understanding what he was on about.
“You’re not letting me touch you.” You looked down at your hands in his and raised your brows at him. “No,” he paused, placing both your hands in his left one and reaching towards your chest, “you’re not letting me touch you.” He squeezed your left breast causing you to gasp and arch your back. “Every time I get close, you push me away.”
“I’m not-”
“Don’t lie.” He shook his head disappointedly. “You know that video was a joke, right? I can delete it right fucking now if you want me to.”
“Colson, it’s not about that-” You started.
“Then what is it about?” He raised his brows at you. “You’re not letting me enjoy what’s mine.” He pinched your nipple hard and watched as you arched your back again. “You are mine. And I like to enjoy what's mine. These are mine. I like to kiss them,” he leaned down to do just that, “I like to bite them,” he gently nipped against the soft skin of your breast. “And I fucking love marking them.” He sucked a spot right next to your nipple, pulling away only when he was sure it would be dark enough to show. “Don’t stop me from enjoying what’s mine, you understand?”
“Yes sir.” You nodded, wrists still held in his left hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. It wasn’t about the video, I promise.”
“Shh,” he pressed his lips against yours to silence you, “we’ll talk about it later. We’re not having any important conversations when you’re squeezing my dick like that, sweetheart.”
“Like,” you paused to clench your inner walls, “that?”
“Oh fuck!” Colson choked out, thrusting his hips up roughly. “Darling, I think you should let me handle this now.”
“I’m all yours,” you breathed.
As soon as the words left your mouth, Colson let himself go. He didn’t even bother flipping you over, he just took control with you on top. He grabbed you by the hips and simply used you.
You tried to sneak your hand down to give your sweet spot some attention, but Colson’s growl stopped you. “Be patient, baby.”
The thrusts were no longer consistent as his hips stuttered, telling you that he was close. “Colson,” you whined, “please.”
He paused and closed his eyes for a moment. When he opened them, he saw how wrecked you looked. Tears leaving black trails of watery mascara down your cheeks, and lipstick smeared to one side, probably because of how he flipped you over that first time. He could see how desperate you were and he wanted to be the solution. He needed to be the solution.
Reaching down slowly, taking his time trailing your body as he went, Colson circled his finger against your clit and began to thrust ever so slowly. It took so much effort to maintain his slow pace, but anything was worth it when it came to you. “You’re so beautiful, you know that?” He asked as he focused on your blissed out face. “Beautiful and mine. All mine.”
“Yours,” you nodded as you squeezed your eyes shut. “So close, Colson. I’m so-”
“Let go for me, baby.”
With a high pitched moan, you let go. You spasmed on his cock, milking it and making it incredibly difficult for him not to blow his load right then and there.
As you started to wilt against him, you felt him slowly pulling out of you. “But you-”
“Wanna- Oh fuck… Wanna come on your tits.” He groaned, pumping himself as soon as he was out of you. You quickly laid down on the bed and pushed out your chest. He brought his knees to either side of waist and placed the hand that wasn’t working his cock around your throat. “Mine.”
“Yours.” You gasped. With a few more pumps, his head was rolling back and he was painting your chest.
He panted heavily as he came down from his high, eyes still tightly closed. When he finally opened them, he smiled lazily. “Look at you, covered in my load. So pretty, baby.” He reached down and rubbed the seed into your skin and against your nipples. Leaning down, he placed a kiss on your forehead and sagged against you for a moment.
After his breather, he sat back up and headed to the bathroom, tossing a ‘be right back’ over his shoulder. You were left alone in the bedroom for a minute, hearing the water running in the bathroom reminding you that you need to pee.
You weren’t entirely sure where the sudden insecurity came from tonight. Not that you weren’t ever insecure about your body, but never during sex and definitely never with Colson. You sat up on the bed and stared at the open bathroom door where your boyfriend was. He had only ever made you feel loved and gorgeous. Maybe his obvious acknowledgment to your lack of cup size did make you question. Question your worthiness of him. He was obviously well endowed, and most people knew that. You chuckled lightly as you remembered the stupid cock sock.
Maybe it made you feel a little less than, you thought as you walked towards the bathroom. You walked in and let your fingers trail against Colson’s shoulder as you passed him at the sink to do your business.
You watched him as he grabbed a towel and ran it under the warm water. You quickly finished and sat on the bathroom counter in front of him. He slowly wiped away at your chest with the damp cloth, being gentle against the soft skin.
But here he is. Caring for you. Loving on you. Loving you. You almost laughed out loud at yourself for questioning his love or your worthiness when he was so obviously devoted to you of his own accord.
“I love you.” You broke the silence.
“I love you, too.” Colson looked up at you, slightly shocked and confused. You had both already said the ‘L-word’ a while ago, but you usually kept the love confessions in dark rooms and not in the harsh bathroom light. “Was I too-”
“No.” You shook your head as he reached for your pack of makeup wipes behind you. “No, you always take care of me so well.”
You went quiet again, before you opened your mouth to speak at the same time that he did. He paused and waited for you to speak, but when you didn’t, he started again.
“If that video bothered you, you should have told me y/n. I’m sorry I made you feel insecure, but next time you gotta tell me before it escalates.” He spoke softly as he pulled a wipe out of the pack and cleaned up your face. “I love you. That includes every part of you.”
“I’m sorry, I promise it wasn’t the stupid video. It was actually really funny.” You chuckled. “I don’t know what hit me. When I was getting ready before you came, I just looked down at my drawer and felt so stupid. I felt like I was pretending to be sexy for you. Like- Like I was convincing myself all this time that this turned you on when there’s no way it could.” He opened his mouth but you looked at him and he paused. “But I know that that isn’t true. And I’m sorry for doing that back there.”
“I swear to god y/n, if you apologize one more time-”
You laughed, placing your hand on his chest. “I’m so- I’m not! I’m not sorry!”
“You aren’t,” he nodded, his eyes meeting yours so that you knew he was being serious, “because you have nothing to be sorry for. And I know that if I apologize again, this is never gonna end. I love you, and you are so sexy, and I am the world’s luckiest man because you’re all mine.”
“Yeah, you are.” You giggled and smiled as he rolled his eyes.
#machine gun kelly#machine gun kelly x reader#machine gun kelly smut#mgk smut#colson baker smut#machine gun kelly fanfiction#machine gun kelly fanfic#machine gun kelly oneshot#machine gun kelly fluff#mgk fanfiction#mgk imagine#mgk fanfic#mgk x reader#colson baker imagine#colson baker fanfic#colson baker#colson baker x reader#colson baker fanfiction#colson baker fluff
920 notes
·
View notes
Photo
CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS — SUGAR DADDY!ZEMO
summary: a series of unfortunate (or fortunate, depending whose side you’re on) events brought you to mandripoor seven years ago. it was fun, dangerous and exciting for the most part. a lot has changed, but you are back in high town in the hope of purchasing a rare monet painting, and reuniting with an old flame.
warnings: tfatws spoilers, alcohol, established sugar daddy x sugar baby relationship, smut (daddy kink, dom/sub/switch dynamics, choking, hair pulling, blowjob, fingering, both degradation and praise kinks, spit kink, cum play, marking, unprotected sex). 18+ MINORS DON’T INTERACT.
word count: 2685
gif credit: pedropcl
notes: this (very long) fic is brought to you by zemo’s #1 hoe. for the sake of the fic, zemo’s daughter and wife have never existed. i get it zemo is the bad guy daniel is not your typical hottie but let me live my fantasy and reclaim my crown as the original zemo fan. listen to off to the races by lana del rey and let no man steal your thyme by the pentangle if you want to fibe with me! i hope you guys will enjoy it!!! <3
“If you keep staring at me like this, I’ll mistake you for the Mona Lisa.” You took the last sip from your glass, which was immediately filled by the man standing behind you. You had felt his familiar presence a long time ago, but you were too mesmerized by the rare painting trapped in a cage of glass to bother notifying him. “Your glance has followed me around the room. In other circumstances, I’d find it creepy. Now, it’s just very flattering.”
You heard him laugh through his nose. You saw his reflecting in the glass, lit up by flashing blue and pink lights and vibrating ever so slightly to the sound of the loud music.
“You’re like a Monet painting. From afar, you are clear as cristal and easy to read like an open book. From up close...” You marked a pause and stoodby straight. Your eyes never leaving the work of art you had been scrutinizing for the past hour. Water Lilies in Bloom, it was called, an incorrect translation that always brought a grin to your lips. “You are a mystery.” You swallowed thickly the bubbly liquid, recognizing the peculiar taste of champagne.
“It is arrogant but right to think of myself as the pure definition of mysterious.”
You chuckled, throwing your head back in disbelief. Some things never changed.
“After all these years... I managed to find my way back to you. Now that’s a mystery.”
You turned on your heels as you spoke. “Is it, though? Tell me, Daddy. Is it really that hard to believe you’d recognize your property even after all these years. I heard they put you in a pretty little cage. Didn’t have much else to think about than what you missed most?”
He took you in, just how ethereal you looked under the colourful neon lights. You had your arms pressed against your chest, the shiny material of your matching bracelet and necklace twinkled. He squinted slightly, his lips curled into a smirk while he looked down your body, the one thing that kept him sane after all these years in jail (that and the thought of destroying symbols like super soldiers and make the world a better place once and for all). “Nice dress.”
“My Sugar Daddy got it for me.” You did a twirl, showing off your outfit innocently. “You like it?”
He reached up to his neck and pulled on the collar of his purple sweater, like it was a tie he could loosen up. “So you received everything I sent you.”
You clicked your tongue. “Not everything...” Your head turned to look behind you, where your most priced possession was glowing in its full glory — soon to-be yours, you should say.
“Use your words, Princess. Say it and it’s yours.”
It was your turn to analyze him, to take every ounce of cockiness and pride. “You’re playing with fire.” You walked closer to him, erasing the distance but increasing the tension between the two of you. “All the money in the world won’t get you everything you want.”
He was quick to move, his soldiers instincts never left his body, clearly. His delicate hand wrapped around your throat so effortlessly. It tightened, forcing you to manage your breathing. “Money got me everything I wanted already.”
“What is it, Daddy? What is it that you want so badly?” You clenched your jaw, holding his glance which was filled with lust, instead of rage and grudges.
“You never looked so beautiful.” He leaned closer too, whispering the words to your ear. It was liked the loud club music turned into white noise. He could not care less about the stares and the words strangers exchanged as they witnessed the scene. High Town was not his playground.
But you were his plaything.
*~*~*
History repeated itself, in one way or another. Icons rose and fell. Symbols mattered and vanished into oblivion. Originality turned into plagiarism. Winners would lose it all, losers would dig their graves deeper into the abyss.
History repeated itself. The sight before your eyes was the same one as seven years ago, when all that was on this man’s life before meeting you was this stupid Mission Report of December 16 1991. You met him at a party like this, in High Town before he was banned from the land. He caught your attention doing his ridiculous dance moves, sharing his knowledge about the art pieces showcased around the room. Then he brought you to a hotel, the ones so fancy they had multiple rooms and a vintage record player as part of the decor. Only, it worked, and he put on his favourite Édith Piaf records. Rien de Rien, Le Petit Homme, La Vie en Rose, song after song, you were diving deeper in your memories.. He was popping yet another bottle of champagne open and pouring some in flutes you would never touch for the rest of the night. The same night, seven years ago, it changed your life. At the second you regretted setting foot in Mandripoor, he changed your mind and gave you the best months of your life. You would ride around Europe in vintage cars, dine in gigantic mansions you called castles. You admired the old paintings of his royal family members while he brought you a silk bathrobe to change into after a steamy shower.
You’d get lost in your thoughts, he’d get lost in his ambitions. You two were one and the same, in one way or another. That affirmation sent shivers down your spine. You could not tell if it was a good or a bad thing, a shy voice in your head was reassuring you it was the former.
“They call me Baron again, I guess I’m not doing too bad after all.” His voice snapped you back to reality. He was still wearing that obnoxious trench coat. You hated it, it made him look like a pimp. Although that was not too far from the truth, as the mountain of luxurious jewelry and clothes in your closet proved.
“Do you like being back here?”
“I love it here.” The emphasis on the last word was audible. You nodded in agreement. This place was heaven on Earth for some people, hell for others. For both you and Zemo, it was somewhere in between.
“You’re certainly not here for me.” You laughed, setting the still full glass on the nightstand.
He shook his head, mouthing a negative response.
“What is it, this time? Mission report February 32?”
“Something like that.” He answered, after another silent laugh.
“If only you had made me your mission, your life would have been easier.”
“Yours would have been, too.”
You shrugged. You agreed, but you did not need to say it. He knew. The two of you knew that this warmth washing over your bodies was the answer to all of your problems. Yet, you were fighting the urge to surrender and give in.
History always repeated itself.
All it took was for him to set his hand on your exposed knee. You got flashbacks of the numerous times his hand rested there while you two drove deeper in the country side, in some old Chevrolet, Ford, or any other European brands he could find and buy.
“Say it, Princess. Tell me what you want and I’ll give it to you.”
You swallowed thickly and fell on your knees. He sat straight, as straight as he could on the comfortable mattress, and spread his legs wider. “I want to go back in time.”
He leaned foward and you opened your mouth, your tongue poking out. He spit in your mouth, and you swallowed. The giggle that followed your actions sent blood to his hardening cock. “Just as eager as I remembered, right? You’d do anything to please me.”
“I’d do anything for you, Daddy.” You repeated, the confession left you breathless.
“That’s my good girl.” He brushed your hair with so much tenderness for a moment, you let out a content moan. He changed the mood real quick when he pushed your head closer to his crotch and unbuckled his belt at lightning’s speed.
Your mouth was watering at the sight, a sight that was tattooed in your memory forever. Whatever relationship you two had went beyond fancy presents and sex, it was a connection that tickled your souls and left you a different woman than when it first started. You wasted no time, stroking him a few times as you spit on his blushing tip. You smeared the spit over his sensitive spot and pulled the sweetest moans out of him, which grew louder and more intense when you finally wrapped your lips around his head.
No one compared to you, to your attention to details, to the way you were taking him all in, inches by inches like you were made for his cock and his cock only. No one compared to how blissful you looked pulling back, choking on your own saliva and the lack of oxygen. “You look so beautiful, Babygirl.”
His praise made you bat your eyes, hoping to receive more compliments. You flattened your tongue, licking him from the base to the top before you deep throated his cock again. You never left him untouched, your hands were massaging his walls or exploring his thick thighs while your mouth almost brought him to the edge.
That was when he pulled on your hair and demanded you went back up on your feet. “I bet you’re soaked. All you need is to see a cock to wet your panties.” You nodded as one hand reached up to cup your face, the other to cup your core from under your dress. He could felt the ever growing wet patch. He discarded of your panties in one effortless pull and pressed his pointer and middle fingers against your sensitive clit. He circled it, studying your reaction.
“Daddy...” You breathed out. “I need you.”
“I’m proud of you for using your words,” his finger slipped inside of your entrance, you moaned out his name. “So greedy and needy and easy for me, like the good whore that you are. Is that right? You’re Daddy’s perfect little whore?”
He was two fingers in, all the way to the last knuckles. He pumped in and out of you slowly yet roughly. You smirked when he finally touched that spongy spot inside of you. “I’m Daddy’s. I’ll always belong to Daddy.”
“That’s right.”
He brushed his thumb over your clit, his fingers stopped fucking your hole to abuse the bundle of nerves until tears started to pool in your eyes.
“Be a good baby.” You looked at him with doe eyes, sucking his thumb between your plump lips. “Do what I want.”
And you reached your high. You had nothing to hold you up, except for your shaky legs that threatened to give in under your weight and the intensity of your orgasm. You sucked on his thumb harder, hoping to quiet some of your moans but your screams escaped your parted lips.
In a blink of an eye, you were pushed against the bed and bounced against the body that blocked your every movement. His pants were nowhere to be found, just like the rest of your respective clothes. Your finger tips brushed over the skin of his shaven cheeks, down to his neck and chest. The intimacy, you had craved it all these years.
“I bet that sweet cunt of yours missed my cock.” He spoke, chuckling mockingly when he pushed himself in your stretched hole. You both let out a long moan of satisfaction. He rested inside of you, adjusting to your warmth and tightness. “I was right.”
“You’re always right.” You flattered his ego, and earned a sloppy kiss in return.
His lips moved down to your neck where he sucked hickeys and left small bite marks as he picked up the pace of his hips.
You wrapped your legs around his waist, hoping to bring him that much closer, and deeper, into you.
Zemo pinned your wrists above your head and pumped his cock inside of your tight pussy like his life depended on it. “So fucking wet for me, gonna make me cum, Baby.” He had tried so hard to hold back, not to mark you and claim you again.
“Wait for me.” You begged him, and he brought one hand down to your neck again. He squeezed it, choking you deliciously until your eyes rolled inwards. He tightened his grip ever so slightly and he felt it, he felt the way your walls fluttered around him.
He thrusted inside of you, his hips snapped against yours and the sound of your skin slapping echoed in the bedroom. “Cum for me, Princess. Cum with Daddy.”
And you did, your body exploded in fireworks when you felt his release planted inside of you. He kept moving, rocking back and forth. He leaned back, leaving your neck to rub your clit once again. He was a moaning mess, the overstimulation made it almost painful to keep going but he did not want it to stop, not until...
“Fuck, Daddy!” And a second wave of pleasure hit you hard, it left you panting and shaking even more than before.
Zemo had to pull away quickly, and already missed the feeling of being inside of you.
Your fingers reached between your bodies, dipping into your folds and moving up to your lips as they were covered in his seed. You painted your lips with his white cum, before you licked them and your fingers clean as he watched, completely amazed and mesmerized. “Taste just as good as I remembered.”
He laughed, he was always one step ahead of everything and everyone, but you always managed to take him by surprise. You were just that great, that perfect. He rolled to the side and fell heavily on the bed. His skin was glistening under the light of the chandeliers from the thin layer of sweat.
You pressed your legs together, clenching around nothing. You hoped you could keep his load inside of you, as a proof this had really happened and it was not just one of your daydreams where you two would be reunited.
“I missed this.” You boke the silence with a small voice. Your fingers brushed over the bruises on your neck, and you hissed at the sensitive skin.
He turned on his side, worried for a second that he went too hard on you. The smile and joy on your face proved him otherwise. “I missed you, Princess.”
“I missed you so much, Daddy.”
*~*~*
The sun hurt your eyes, he noticed. He slipped out of the bed to pull on the curtains only to hurry back to you so you could lay your head on his chest. You were still wearing your bracelet, he started playing with it.
His mind was racing, just like his heart. You could feel it rumble in his chest like a loud engine. Something was bothering him.
“Oh, Zemo...” You caressed his cheek, looking up to study his features. “You can fool the smartest people in the world, but you’ll never be able to lie to me.”
“I’m coming home, Baby. I’m coming home now.”
You looked down again, taking a moment to answer. “Let me guess, you’ll take me to a fancy house like Rebecca’s Manderley and Jane Eyre’s manor at the Rochester’s. You’ll show me around, make me feel like I belong. And you’ll leave, high and dry. Again. All the money and presents from your people won’t erase the pain I felt. Not this time, not ever.”
He pressed his thin lips together. Pain, suffering, he was used to it. He had his fair share of it, caused even more to other people. The thought of hurting you, however, was unbearable.
“Every kingdom needs its king...” He paused and moved you, so you were resting on your elbows and your face was closer to his. “And an even greater queen.”
#baron zemo#helmut zemo#marvel imagine#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws spoilers#tfatws#one shot: champagne problems
331 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
chayannesegg
Chayanne's Egg 🪿
bachissidehoe
*Husky*
pomrania
Pom Rania's blog
nisaconite
don't call me neesa