Need a man who precums like a faucet

i’m watching aerodynamics of gender rn and the troy barnes i know would not let jeff jump on the trampoline for an hour and just stand there. he would set a timer or count down and make jeff get off like a small child. he would throw a fit.

Just to be clear if you ride a motorcycle and we doing the unspeakable in bed, the helmet stays on.

I always imagine Tucker Blake as Lukas Gage, sorry not sorry

Every now and then I get a little bit chaotic.

i love ao3 but tumblr fanfics just hit different 😩😩

“Dude, who’s the hottest F1 driver?”

“Obviously, it’s Charles Leclerc. But there’s-”

“That’s such a basic fucking bitch answer.”

“All right, you want a real answer?”

“Yes!”

“Max Verstappen specifically when he’s all hot and sweaty after a race. Look it up.”

“Aside from TGWDLM (and a brief BF cameo), Ted Spankoffski has long hair and we as a fandom need to represent that more often within our fanworks, ” I say into the mic.

The crowd boos. I begin to walk off in shame when a voice speaks and commands silence from the room.

“They’re right,” he says. I look for the owner of the voice. There in the 5th row stands: Joey Richter himself, with long hair.

Taylor swift’s entire musical career is living proof that music doesn’t have to be good, just catchy

There is a nebulous jordie lives au which lives entirely in my head in which jordie recovers from the plague while Kaz is still sick. He gets up to find them food and water only to return and discover Kaz is nowhere to be found. Still recovering from the fever, he searches the barrel for days before he finally sees Kaz wandering down the staves in a sort of fugue state, soaked to the bone with a haunted look in his eyes.

Kaz won’t tell him what happened, but jordie knows it’s bad because his baby brother flinches every time he touches him, and soon enough he’s started wearing gloves, even in the height of summer.

Soon, they discover kazs gift for cards, and it keeps them fed and clothed, if not much else. Kaz is angry at jordie for losing the money, refuses to let him make any decisions. Jordie is beholden to his angry traumatized little brother because he can’t deny that he failed them the first time around.

Kaz is offered a place in his pick of the gangs, but the only one willing to take both him and his tag along older brother is the dregs. Jordie dies a little bit inside when they join up, when they take the tattoo side by side, but he’s not sure they’ll survive another winter on the streets.

And the plot of SoC generally goes on from there. Jordie tags along on the ice court, he and Jesper test kazs patience at every turn, he’s constantly offering unsolicited annoying older brother advice about Inej.

This lends itself to a really interesting exploration of Kaz and jordies relationship, what holds brothers together in the face of incredible trauma, the skewed power dynamic of Kaz becoming the breadwinner for them both at the age of nine, etc etc. But mostly, this au is a vessel for the sailing of the ultimate crack ship, which is of course, jordie/alys Van Eck.

What the FUCK Furina’s backstory is so fucking sad??? The absolute TORTURE she’s been through. Shit dude,

there’s a horrible sickness in me that makes me want to stop and replay da:i whenever i start a different game. how am i supposed to resist the story of my own unwilling apotheosis? especially as lavellan, who doesn’t believe in the maker and who has every right to hate and mistrust the chantry but chooses to use what power they have to try save people, to fix what’s broken, no matter how afraid they are or how careful they have to be. walking side by side with the great trickster god/adversary of your people without knowing, befriending him, changing his mind about this world but ultimately not his choice. he understands what’s happening to you because it happened to him once and he gives you his castle, built over the place where he sundered the world, and paints your story there in frescos that will last long after you’re gone and after the story has been retold and reshaped so many times that the truth of who you are and what you did is lost—just as he did his own story, which was lost and perverted by war and propaganda, and he shows all of this to you knowing you’ll understand because you’ve lived through something similar, grown into something larger than yourself and your true name, and it doesn’t change anything but. he wanted you to see him just for a moment, even if he can’t tell you everything (or almost anything) and you can’t save him—because he owes it to you as a someone who is a friend, almost an equal, and because there’s no one else left who knows: a direct result of what he did to your people and which he now seeks to undo at the cost of this world.

this fandom needs more mpreg

Gillion And The Tidestriders could have written Respite on The Spitalfields but Ghost could never dream to reach the greatness that is Hole In Your Heart.

Unpopular majima opinion (DV mention) : I have a really complicated relationship w majima.. i think really it’s fandom perception that bothers me the most. I despise the narrative people push about his “mad dog” persona, saying it’s “just a persona and hes actually a really intelligent and thought out guy”. I HATE when a crazy character is revealed to not actually be crazy and is like a mastermind or whatever, i prefer him crazy, and disillusioned. I also am so tired of the “more majima” “majima backstory” “majima gaiden” especially when DAIGO is right there?? (Look im not going to go into a daigo rant rn but to summarize it, daigo literally hasnt gotten his time 2 shine and i think a daigo gaiden (daiden lol) would work really well, like this guy has had SO many people try to betray him, i would love to see a game where he earns, no demands respect!) but anyways, back to majima, he LIKES to fight yk? He LIKES violence, he has NO problem being violent towards anyone, literally threatened haruka?? Honestly i think majima lovers try too hard to make their fav a “good guy”, honestly i think the entire fandom has a problem with insisting some characters are good people.. at the end of the day, their yakuza. They hurt people. Good people. Bad people. Innocent people. Not so innocent people. And i hate when people try to say that the whole park DV situation is “ooc” when really.. is it? At the end of the day he is a man and she was literally 17-18 so.... (and also just to add this i HATE when people are like “oh she was so mean to that guy he literally killed her” like wow a man killing a woman because she was mean to him? Are you serious?) i want to add that i DO like him as a character, im just.. exhausted by him ngl T_T also due to personal reasons i do feel a little sensitive about people denying the DV..like seeming nice guys are still capable of such a thing, but also i acknowledge this is entirely fictional so i dont think defending him actually makes u a bad person or anything, i sorta encourage ignoring canon facts abt ur fav anyways (mine yoshitaka is in the fish shack i just know it) in fact this is all just my opinion yk.. im not saying “oh ur fav is problematic” or anything bc yk.. my favs r mine, nishiki, and aoki so really we r same coin diff sides

Outing myself as an eternal bartylus shipper.

I read a lot of different ships but I’m always grasping at bartylus crumbs, I’m legit more excited when they make eye contact than when the main pairing (usually jegulus) who has been slowburning for the past 20 chapters finally kiss. I’m just genuinely obsessed with them. I love all the other ships but bartylus just hits different.

It’s like jegulus is folklore and bartylus is reputation. I looooove folklore, it’s so pretty and poetic and tragic, but reputation has me giggling and kicking my feet, it gets me hyped up, it makes me feel badass, it makes me want to dance, I literally started loving Taylor Swift BECAUSE of reputation so at the end of the day I’ll always come back to reputation.

Jegulus is reading and bartylus is listening to music. I adore reading, every time someone asks me what I do for fun I tell them I read, but let’s all be honest I would not survive a single day without music.

Jegulus are my converse shoes and bartylus are my doc martens. I wear my converse almost every day, but I’m sooooo happy every time I wear my docs.

They’re so spideypool coded.

They’re so Batman x Joker coded.

They’re so lover x reputation coded.

They’re so Billy x Stu (from Scream) coded.

They’re so Kat x Patrick (from 10 Things I Hate About You) coded.

They’re so Violet x Finch (from All the Bright Places) coded.

They’re so Lazlo x Nadja (from What We Do in The Shadows) coded.

They’re so black cat x orange cat coded.

They’re so Florence + The Machines coded.

They’re so FOR YOUR LOVE by Måneskin coded.

They’re so Fast Car by Tracy Chapman coded.

I’ve been shipping them since before jegulus was ever anything more than a crack ship, before we started liking Evan so before Rosekiller was even a thing, and I’m not even remotely close to moving on. They live in my bones, in my veins, in my arteries, in my lungs, in my heart, in my brain, in my whole nervous system. They carved themselves in my skin and they run around in my head rent free. And I love every single version of them. Like give it to me toxic, sweet, angsty, desperate, tragically canon, unrequited, in a polycule, in a qpr, just give it to me in any way you want and I will eat. it. up. every. single. time.