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radical-ghostface · 2 years

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Ryan Erzahler NSFW Alphabet 😆✊🏾 my boy barely gets any love and i dont understand why😭😭 love your fics btw😌❤️

No cause you're literally so right. I barely ever see any ryan smut or nsfw content so here you go! I hope its good!

☆ RYAN ERZAHLER NSFW ALPHABET ☆

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

I think ryan would be the type to be really sweet after sex. Like he would caress your face and give you that lil smile he does, and kiss you really gently. Ugh i just know hes the cuest thing.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite of his own would be his hands. He knows they're hot.

And for his partner I think either smile or eyes. And a lil ass 😏

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

Hes for sure a cum in your mouth kinda guy. Either that or i can see him wanting to cum on your back.

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

I think he listens to nsfw audios. And would maybe even secretly make a few himself 👀

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Honestly i dont think Ryan is very experienced. Hes not a very social person and i can see that affecting his relationships/sex life. So i feel like he only really has sex with people that he connects with.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying.)

Doggyyyyyy. 100% you cant change my mind. Giving AND recieving.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Ryans more of a serious guy when it comes to sex. Not a lot of joking around or bing goofy but hes not all serious. The right partner would bring it out.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Clean shaven for sure.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

I feel like he would start out kind of stiff or awkward and then once he eased into it and got more comfortable he would be super passionate. Very into the moment, and possibly very heated.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Ryan doesn't jack off very often at all. Maybe once a week? If that. He doesn't have a super high sex drive.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Neck. Biting.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

Almost always at home or in a bed. He would turn down a car fuck though 😏

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

Nerds. Lol no but like someone intelligent, we all know this man is a himbo okay? He need someone smart to balance him out. So i can see him sitting there listening to his partner talk about something he has no idea about (ex. Quantum physics 😏) and literally all he hears is gibberish because all he can think about is how hot the words sound coming out of their mouth. Know what i mean? Does that make sense? 😬

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Bondage. Its deffinitely not something he would feel comfortable with, like it just wouldnt turn him on at all.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

This man would never turn down a good blow job. Hes nore of receiver than giver but he knows what hes doing with his mouth

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Ryans the kinda guy who likes it intense, like passionate af. He loves to get really into it and just kinda lose himself to the passion and his partner.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

Hes not really a quckie kinda guy but he'll deffinitely do it if his partner asks.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Not a huge risk person, but he would experiment. Especially with threesomes. Dont ask me why, it just makes sense lol

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

I think ryan could go a solid 3 or 4 rounds before he couldn't cum anymore

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Hes always down to try different toys. He even has a few himself.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

This boy LOVES to be teased and over stimmed. To the point where his jaw is clenched and hes drooling just a lil 😏

But not much of a teaser himself.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Pretty quiet, he grunts and moans a lil but hes pretty tame.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

This man likes fucking in water. Period.

Also a slight mask kink 😉 cmon he loves horror, tell me he wouldnt love to be fucked my ghost face or michael myers.

X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)

Im gonna say hes somewhere around 7-8 inches, with it being more lengthy than girthy

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

Again ryans sex drive isnt too high but it really all depends on his partner and the situation.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

I feel like he would stay up for a sold hour or so to cuddle and make sure his partner felt comfortable and loved ❤ few face/head and shoulder kisses and when he feels satisfied he'll let himself drift off.

#the quarry #the quarry game #the quarry x reader #hacketts quarry #the quarry requests #alphabet #justice smith #ryan erzahler #ryan erzahler x reader #ryan erzahler smut #ryan erzahler headcanons #ryan erzahler headcanon

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ithinkthereforeidread · 3 years

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the collected poems of todd anderson

christmas day of 1959.

ao3 link here

He knew this day would come. He’s been dreading it, sure, he’d never really enjoyed Christmas much beforehand, his multiple unopened desk sets epitomised such. At his house, fires weren’t warm, hugs were stiff and silence was punctured by the sounds of laughing children in the house next door. It’d always been this way for the Anderson family. Todd grew to accept it.

But this year was supposed to be different.

He was supposed to spend his Christmas at Welton, with all the Dead Poets.

Usually, the boys would go home to their families for Christmas, but through the efforts of Neil he assembled a complex string of falsities about a gargantuan Latin group project that all the Dead Poets needed to finish.

“Serious business, I care about my education father, why else would have you sent me here?” said Neil over the phone, holding his index finger to his mouth to silence Todd from his chuckling, although all Todd really saw was the wide grin that hid behind it, and the way Neil’s eyes crinkled up all the way, a complete oxymoronic action when Neil was usually on the phone to his father. Todd stifles back laughter and Neil smacks him lightly, only causing him to laugh more.

“Well, that was quicker AND easier than I expected...” Neil states after placing the phone back on it’s cradle and ending the call. “But hey!” Neil squeaks, “We’re all spending Christmas together! The biggest concern was just getting my father to agree, everyone else’s parents seemed fine with it.”

Todd and Neil start to walk, side by side, Neil bumps him playfully. “I’m so glad you told me, Todd.” Neil turns his head and looks towards the shorter boy. “My Christmases at home aren’t that great either, I’ve always wanted to spend them here, but I could never work up the courage to ask my father, ask Charlie, in our first year he almost called up my father himself. It was hilarious, he had to look up at the phone, he was so short.”

“You and Charlie have been friends for ages then?” Todd queries “Oh yeah, we met in our last year of preparatory school, he was a pretty mischievous kid, obviously not much has changed.” Neil laughs, “he was just always so confident and sure of himself… I always wanted to be like that, nothing ever got to him.”

“Has that changed?” Todd’s questions were always short and straight to the point. Startling upfrontness in the most unexpected of moments. It was something Todd was known for.

“Not really… I mean, I try to get him to open up… he just isn’t an emotions type of person, I think?” Neil scratches the back of his head. “During our 9th year he went through something really big and not great, but he didn’t tell me a single word about it. To this day I have no idea wahat happened. I tried asking but it didn’t lead anywhere… all I know is some kid had been expelled but it didn’t look like him and Charlie fought or anything because they spent so much time together ....” Neil trails off.

“You know people stare at us sometimes.” Todd blankly states, an unconscious switch being flicked immediately. “When we’re walking to classes, when we go into our dorm, when we exchange smiles in classes… They bump their friends with their shoulders and snicker under their breaths… Have you noticed that Neil?”

Neil’s walking pace slows slightly, “Uh… no, I-uh I didn’t… Do they think we’re-“ “-Maybe.” Todd interrupts before Neil can say The Word. “Bu-but we aren’t, I mean, you were talking about that girl from-“ “-Yeah! Ginny, from the play, wow, I mean, she’s just great.” “Yeah, I’m sure she is.”

God.

This got awkward.

Nice one Todd.

Did it again.

Ink splatters dried on the paper he cradled so delicately, he stares at the contents once more.

“what wouldn't i give to love myself as feverishly as I love you? what is the opposite of amnesia? that is what you are. sometimes i cant find my way around my memories. i have to take detours… i think you were the best one.

little fragments of joy pepper my vacancy i didn't know that i should want to be hopeful or that being hopeful meant giving up some intrinsic part of me.

last night i had a dream that we were breathing underwater flying high in the sky, arms outstretched, laughing, smiling, hugging, bodies pressed onto one another. it didn’t last long. piece by wretched, fragile piece i throw out every hated qualm of thee your impenetrable stare fixed onto me

i have hoped for love that is beyond you being caught by me or me trying to slip through the cracks. they read me, you, us, with their glacial eyes and think they know but they don't

and it seems neither do we.”

“Wow, Todd. This is so… different. But good! It’s just, I’ve never seen anything like this in our English class, in the poems we’ve studied… I just… wow.” Neil looks up at Todd, eyes so soft, Neil knows how big of a deal this is to Todd. He doesn’t just share his work with anyone.

“I-I’m glad you liked it.” Todd smiles, it’s almost as if he’s had to completely remove himself from himself in order to let Neil observe and compliment this part of him, he takes the page out of Neil’s hands and places it in his book. “What-er, who was it about?” Neil gingerly queries. “I- uh, well.” Todd’s heating up now, he should’ve expected Neil to ask him this question. Dammit. Why was he so stupid for letting him read it. “Well, I-I don’t think you necessarily have to go through something to write a-about it, it-it’s fiction for a reason.”

Neil’s lips downturn slightly, “I guess, but everything that we produce in art- whether that be acting, or poetry writing, painting- whatever… it… subconsciously shows something that you might not necessarily want to show or see, right? Like how Keating got us the other day to choose a poem we liked and recite it… It tells you so much about a person. When Charlie was reading his poem… wasn't all you could think about was how bleak it was?” Neil continues, “The academically and poetically rigorous selection made by Cameron or Knox’s complete devotion and enamoration with the simplest emotion of the human being, love? We hide these parts of ourselves, maybe we view them as flaws and faults of our cognitive machine, but art reveals them all.” Neil delivered a love poem to the class himself. He takes a big breath and lets the words he just spoke sit in the air of their dorm for a while.

“Into the meadows dawn..” Todd clicks his fingers, a vague ritual to jog his memory. “flashes my faun.” Todd recites “O Hunter, snare me his shadow… O Nightingale catch me his strain. Else moonstruck with music and madness, I track him in vain” all they’re doing is staring at each other.

“You- you remembered my poem?” Neil questions. “Yeah- I went to the library after you said it- wanted to see if there was more… Oscar Wilde…” “Yeah.” “I notice them staring now that you mentioned it.” Neil breaks the trajectory of the conversation, “God, they’re all so stupid, it’s as if Judy Garland and President Eisenhower just strutted into the school, arms interlocked!” Todd chuckles. Then more silence.

“Has anything changed, Neil?” “What do you mean?” “Between us. What this is. Our comradely bond, as Keating puts it.” Todd chuckles, “ Our co-dependence, attachment at the hip.”

More silence…

“I-I think…” Neil finally states, “that it was never anything it wasn’t already… perhaps we ignored it, suppressed the feeling… but… it was always there.”

“For me, at least.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

~~~

The wind pierced Todd’s skin in tiny microscopic ways, embedding itself under the protection of his coat and completely evading the rest of his physical form, though perhaps the wind wasn’t the cause of the spine-curdling ache he felt, but simply an additional symptom.

Bells rang, green and red Christmas themed paraphernalia adorned the streets he’d previously been driving through, staring out the window at lights and snow that trickled onto an already naturally bleached layer of the ground. His footprints leave indents and obtain a slippery consistency to the outer sole and toe cap. He treads more carefully.

His hands clutch the leather cover of the journal he is hiding underneath his jacket, minimising any further damage that may soon come its way, finally, through minutes of soul-searching and carefully treading through stones and flowers, he makes his way to Neil.

He looks at him with a certain sense of fragility, his stone head protruding from the ground and covered in snow. Todd wipes some away to see the carvings made into him. His full name. Aged 17. Dutiful son of Tom and Susan Perry.

The newness of it all sends a pang to Todd’s stomach as he looks at the other stones weathered with age and the constant bombardment of the elements. That’ll be Neil one day. Flowers not fresh and carvings unreadable. Forgotten to the world and all its inhabitants, rotting in satin lining and cherry oak wood. Todd stifles back a sob and covers his mouth, forcing himself to get it together for just this moment.

“Merry Christmas Neil.” Todd whispers, the words can barely come out. “You-you’re not here physically but you’re here with me, and Charlie, and-and all the other Dead Poets.” he continues, “though- though Charlie isn’t here technically either. He left. Had to. He’s not graduating, at least he’s not at Welton” Todd looks down, brushes his emerging tears away with his shoulder

“I just wanted to come here and give you your gift, I’ve had it in the making for a while now, you’ve seen some of it already. I wish I could’ve given it to you earlier… if I had known this would happen.” he pulls out the journal, and opens it up.

“Here, I’ll read you some.” Todd, though already cold and miserable, situates himself next to Neil’s cold headstone and leans his head on it, opening the journal's contents to its first page.

“Dear Neil,” Todd’s starts, but adds an offside, “It’s dated on the 7th of a while back, my-my birthday.”

“I hope this book finds you well,” Todd’s breath hitches, “especially considering that I’m probably too anxious to deliver it to you. What you’ll see here is what we spoke about the night we first kissed. About freeing ourselves from any subconscious fear or dichotomous dread of both working with and against the grain or being liked or disliked. The people I look up to the most are inspirationally unpopular. So, here’s a suite of poems by yours truly. Hopefully you’ll find your own meaning and reverence in the words my brain has conjured up, words mostly pertaining to you. Every inch of your being alive has me transfixed and enamoured, and I’m truly gobsmacked on the good deed I must��ve committed to have deserved having you in my life.” Todd’s face is red and stuffy from the cold and his breathing is short and punctured.

“You’re sleeping right near me at this moment, and as a sweaty toothed madman once said. We were together. I forgot the rest. Consider this journal a detachable limb of my own self, something you can always carry around and know that I am with you, always. You can suck the life force, the bone marrow out of the words I have written in here and I would applaud and encourage you to do so. Without you, I have no idea where I’d be right now. I owe you so much Neil, you’ve taught me that sometimes the world can be good. That a person’s smile can brighten an entire room. A performance perfectly acted can be a person’s ultimate achievement and their triumph. You are the word phenomenal incarnate Neil, I hope my words do you some sort of justice.

You deserve the world, Neil. I’m brainstorming ways to give it to you.

With love, Todd.”

——————————————————————————

i hope you guys enjoyed!! its fucking brutal honestly but needed some angst and tragedy in my fictional life to reflect my own.

just a preface that some of the poem todd read's is borrowed from pete wentz old emo livejournal posts because i need to somehow tie my two big interests together and MAN does that man write some gay ass shit. hope your heart doesnt hurt too much <3

creds to @neilscrown on tiktok for posting the headcanon "Todd definitely bought Neil a Christmas present and he never got the chance to give it to him so he would sit in his once shared room and stare at it" it tore my HEART OUT and inspired this rambling

#dead poets society #dead poets #dead poets honour #dead poets fanfiction #anderperry #anderperry fanfic #todd anderson #neil perry #todd and neil

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iraprince · 4 years

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i was wondering, where do you find good references for your art? especially for complicated poses like.. almost everything dearly does. i dont know if im just bad at image searching or what, but i can never seem to find what i need online (and i cant really take my own ref photos for poses that require a lot of flexibility ...or more than one person)

for really extreme poses i get specific -- like for those drawings of dearly i searched stuff like “gymnastics poses” and “yoga flexibility poses” (i tried “contortionist poses” too but i found that stuff was less clear/helpful). i don’t think you’re bad at image searching though, it IS really hard to find good reference and sometimes i really am sitting here for ages trying to find the right thing; and a lot of times even what you can find is kind of stiff and awkward bc stock photos and stuff are usually just kind of odd. (i saw on twitter that apparently, hilariously enough, adding “kpop” to the end of searches can get you more natural-looking/appealing refs; bc like, if you search “person eating lollipop” you get a bunch of awkward stock photos of someone making bug eyes at the camera while unhinging their jaw to lick a cartoonishly-sized rainbow candy but if you search “eating lollipop kpop” you get softly lit glamour shots of some music artist looking really cute while eating candy or whatever. i haven’t tried it myself but it genuinely sounds solid lmao.)

a lot of general figure drawing poses are pretty extreme too (i like using the class mode on this site) and i find that the more experience you have drawing really active/unusual poses, the more confidence you can have in kind of fudging it when a reference isn’t exactly perfect or when you can’t find what you need. (this also allows you to push/exaggerate poses or stylize realistic anatomy to better suit your art style, while still having things “look right.”) my personal goal for myself re: reference has always been to work towards a level of technical skill + confidence where the reference works as a flexible tool for me that makes my life easier, instead of me being chained to my computer for an hour looking for the Absolute Perfect Photo before i can even start; transitioning from the latter to the former comes from familiarizing yourself w anatomy and practicing a shitload and storing up enough Body Information in your brain that the way you draw becomes more, like.... modular, if that makes sense? and u can change things or edit things from reference -> drawing without too much stress.

for group/couple poses and also just general ref, especially re: characters holding things or sitting certain ways -- you probably already know about senshistock on deviantart, but i often go there when i’m in a pinch. i find the gallery a little hard to navigate just bc of the sheer size of it, so it might not make it Faster to find anything, but it’s a great resource with a lot of material that was made specifically with artists in mind.

you can also search up videos on youtube and stuff and pause them to try to find interesting frames of what you’re trying to draw! i don’t use this method much bc it’s definitely still not much easier or faster than any other kind of ref hunting, but it’s an option, especially for really niche stuff.

#tutorials #resources

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kanmom51 · 3 years

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I wouldn’t say that JK was uncomfortable in that clip but he did look like he wasn’t in the mood to me & that’s ok imo !!! lol I’m a hardcore Kookmin lover and that’s what I saw in his face. Everyone can see and interpret different things. Couples or people that are super close with each other are allowed to be annoyed with each other every once and a while.

I’m a firm believer that small instances like that don’t disprove anything for me as much as the super close moments they have-often might I add- don’t necessarily prove anything for some other people.

I, for one, still think they have a really close relationship that goes beyond just friendship & a 1 second clip of Jungkook looking like he wanted to say ‘Really Jimin??, we’re doing this right here and now???’ does not mean that they aren’t close or that Jungkook is ‘uncomfortable’ with Jimin touching him or being close to him. Now THAT narrative is absolute bullshit.

I have received many asks like this or similar to this or just all up about JK's reactions, so I will answer them all in one ask, because I don't want to repeat myself. These are the asks I received (all your voices will be heard):

Ask2:

u cant blame people for thinking jk is not comfortable with jimin because everytime jm does something with him he looks annoyed as hell

ask 3:

Look I've been a supporter since 2017 and Jikook has never once made me cringe or feel awkward. JK has literally almost kissed JM and brushed lips with him and just smiled and never looked awkward. Whatever is happening with Jikook the last several months JK looks stiff and odd anytime JM interacts with him. If he is with JM, then they need to have a talk, cause All I've seen all day long is people calling JM an assaulter and homewrecker and they all say its because of JKs reactions every time.

Ask 4:

If they are broke up, JM needs to learn boundaries. If they aren't, then JM needs to have a long serious talk with JK, cause new army's coming in are already convinced JM makes JK uncomfortable. JK shouldn't have to change to please others, but if JM is his boyfriend, he needs to stop acting repulsed or annoyed or stone faced when JM touches him, cause people feed off his reactions. He fuels it. It really looks like he doesn't want JM touching him if thats the case he needs to leave JM alone too

Ask 5:

JM has looked like an extremely clingy boyfriend lately and usually I love that, I love it even more when its JK being bold and clingy, but the last several months JK's reactions make me cringe for JM. I definitely think JM is over the separation shit, the way RM rolls his eyes or they have to lie and he's probably over everyone shipping his boyfriend with his best friend, but JK isn't going a long with his boldness cause he probably is worried. I just hope this doesn't cause them more problems.

Ask 6:

Either they broke up or JK has become more private about their relationship, because there is no more excuses for JK's reactions toward JM anymore. He KNOWS JM is being hated on every single time they interact, esp here lately and he is doing NOTHING to change the narrative. Therefore its either cause they really aren't together and JK really is uncomfortable or the company told them to tone it down and JK's worried and stiffens up around JM. Its not funny anymore JM is getting formal complaints

Ask 7:

I'm tired of jikook interacting thing when it's only jimin interacting with jungkook and jungkook looks like he's in a funeral. I believe jm likes him but the narratives y'all create about jungkook are so different from his actual reactions and everyone can see that and it's the only reason jimin gets so much hate.

Ask 8:

JM deserves someone who treats him equally. Its clear JK has tapped out of whatever they have and JM isn't letting go. 2017, 2018, 2019 JK would not treat JM this way. In fact, it seemed like JK was ready to tell the world he was dating JM. His boldness in front of cameras, then. He never shunned/made JM look bad. If I did not know Jikook's relationship, I would think JM was an aggressor who makes JK uncomfortable cause that is how it reads no matter how hard we defend it. JK doesn't deserve JM.

Ask 9:

i cried so much today, honestly fuck jungkook. i hope jimin realizes how their "interactions" look on camera and sticks to his word of not even talking to him

ask 10:

JM is telling us one thing, JK is telling us another. Every time something happens with Jikook, its usually because of JM and JK looks uncomfortable, then JK will wear green & purple. JM leans on JK butter pic, JK wears green & purple shirt next day. JM trying to have moments with JK at muster, net day, JK wears purple & green earrings. I'm guessing JK will wear purple & green together soon again. JM deserves better, cause that's not cool if JK is his boyfriend and its not cool of JM if Jk's not

Ask 11:

It's not the same anymore with Jikook and Jk is the main reason. His actions towards Jimin is why its hard to continue defending Jikook. If they're together, then JK needs to treat him better period. I'm not saying he has to kiss his boyfriend in public or shout he's mine, but stop flinching, cringing and sitting there with a pissed look when he interacts if he's your boyfriend. If he's not, set boundaries and leave JM alone and stop leading him on. I'm scared for JM. BH might let him go.

Ask 12:

Genuine Q, why does everyone say jungkook is clingy with jimin? Even always behind the scenes is jimin clinging to him, looking for the tiniest way to interact with him and jungkook is always a passive receptor of all his affections. I like them together but seeing so many people say things I have never seen makes me confused and it's frustrating. Even lee hyun hugged jimin today more friendly than jungkook ever has. ANd I don't mean a 'backhug'.

Ask 13:

If he's going to be fond of JM, I'd rather he show it rather than leave JM out to dry.

So, here we go.

First thing I have to say is, please everyone take a big breath, let it out and lets start talking here.

I will start by saying that neither JK nor JM ow us a thing!! JK doesn't have to prove to us he likes or loves or wants JM, and visa versa.

If they choose to show us, every once in a while, it's their prerogative, not our right.

So, if JK loves JM, if they are in a relationship, it's JM he has to show he loves him, not us.

Where were all of you when JK was practically forcing his arms around JM to hug him after the recording of the Black swan performance? JM clearly didn't seem pleased at that moment. Were you discecting his reaction then? Either way, if your answer to the question is yes or no, you need to stop for a second and think why you were.

Moving on.

JK is not impassive to JM. JK is not hating what JM does. JK is being JK.

I have said this soooo many times before. JK in control of a situation is not the same JK caught off guard or surprised.

When JK is caught off guard he goes into a panic mode of sorts. Many times it looks like a total shut down. Freeze mode, if you wish to call it that. Resting bitch face is also good here.

When JK is in control of a situation he is happy, he is bold, he, in his mind, knows what he’s doing, where he is taking things and f**k the consequences, as far as he is concerned (at least for that split second he decides to do his crazy).

When JK is not in control and caught off guard he loses it. This is a shy introvert that suffers from anxiety. Please don’t let his stage persona confuse you.

JK isn’t uncomfortable with JM. He loves him. And even if you don’t believe they are a couple, I’m sorry, but that is something no one can deny, JK’s love for JM.

JK is an adult, he can be pretty assertive when he wants to. Yes, there is the age hierarchy, but he has shown us on more than one occasion that if he doesn’t want someone to hug him or touch him, he will push them off. We need to understand this. If JK didn’t want JM to touch him, he would push him off. If JK didn’t want JM to jump on him, he wouldn’t have caught him, it’s not like JM would have fallen on the ground. Do I have to remind just how many times JK has lifted JM and loved every single time he has done it.

But you ask, why a big smile on his face then and not this time?

Again, he knew what was coming then, he had control over the situation. He wasn’t caught off guard.

That’s JK, that’s who he is, and you cannot expect him to change who he is, how he reacts, how his face looks just because it doesn’t look good on camera to you, just because fans will dissect it to pieces and then go all nasty and turn it against the one person he loves most.

You can’t turn it on him.

It’s on the fans that as far as I am concerned shouldn’t be even called fans. The haters that instead of loving BTS and all their members are busy trying to break them down.

I will say this both to JM and JK stans:

Those are your bias, each one of them. And you bias loves the other one, JK loves JM and JM loves JK (no matter the level of love, friend, boyfriend, partner, they love each other).

You claim to love them, so how can you point so much anger and hate towards the one person they love so much????

If you don’t have something good to say, don’t say it. Because, saying something bad about the one your bias loves, well, don’t you think it would hurt them too???

Your bias, the person you claim to admire, care for, support, he chose to love this other person. Why don’t you give him some credit that he knows what he’s doing? That if that other person was treating him badly, he would no longer be with him, no longer gravitate towards him. No one is forcing him to always, always, be by his side, rub his neck, hug him, talk about him (always positive things, at that, unless it’s giving us information we didn’t really need to know about the other, like how long they shower, how loud they snore, who they were with at 4 am etc.).

PLEASE give your bias the well deserved credit that he knows what his wants and needs are. If JM didn’t want to be with JK, if he felt his needs weren’t being met, he wouldn’t be with him. Same said about JK.

They know how to disconnect, how to distance themselves and still stay professional, and yet, they choose to be at each other's side. That should say something to you.

So, my suggestion to you is to just leave them alone. Yes, I said it.

Let them be who they want to be. We cannot impose our needs for JK to show TKK’s he likes it when JM goes on the way he does on JK. He is who he is. If JM is unhappy with it, well he won’t put up with it, believe me. He is not a damsel in distress and doesn’t need the fans to save him from mean ole’ JK. JM is a strong ass man, I’ve said this many times before. He can take care of himself, and believe me, if he had a problem with JK’s reaction, the boy knows how to deal with it without fans coming to his rescue.

Fans need to stop inserting themselves into these young men’s lives. We are spectators, no more no less.

If you can enjoy them while understanding that, great. If not, well maybe the right thing is to take a breath, re-evaluate things and then come back.

#ask #anon

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curiosity-killed · 3 years

Text

evidence of a lost past part 5

chronologically after 1 & 2 and a bit before 4

fun fact of the day: Hua Cheng’s dancing to Lover’s Tears as performed by the Shanghai Conservatory Symphony bc it’s one of my favorite lazy improv songs

story tag

By the time seven comes around, Xie Lian’s legs are trembling with fatigue and his hair’s plastered to his forehead and nape. Winding lazily out of a renversé, he drops his arms and exhales. He feels...worn, gently pummeled like a sock in a washer or a stone along the riverbank. It’s been a while since he used his body like this—even these last few weeks of borrowing Hua Cheng’s studio have been more about relearning how to move at all, retracing the lines of the technique he’s let fall by the wayside.

Now, for the first time in a long time, he feels like he’s properly danced. The feeling buoys up in his chest, bright and a little heady. It still feels funny to break the rules he grew up with, to blend classical lines and break up languid adagio flows to hit the ground, but the way it leaves his body feeling exhausted and satisfied makes it hard to resist.

He takes a few minutes to stretch properly, working down from his neck to his feet and closing off with a short round of abs before he shrugs his sweatshirt back on, picks up his shoes by their heels, and goes to find Hua Cheng.

He’s lured up the stairs by the arching strains of strings and the low rumble of piano underneath. Wandering to the upper studio, he finds himself swaying absently to the three-four time as if the music itself is drawing him into a waltz. He hums softly along and turns the corner off the stairs to find the studio door propped open. Here, the music swells so loudly he can nearly feel it buffeting his body like ocean waves. He comes to a halt at the door.

Hua Cheng is alone inside, a single lean figure in the half-light of the studios. Only two of the four rows of fluorescent lights are on, and they form dim lines like walls of silk strings through which Hua Cheng weaves as precisely and deftly as if he were the shuttle, the hand shaping the cloth.

The choreography is some Xie Lian has seen before—today, even. On Hua Cheng, though, it is a wholly different creature than when He Xuan performed the same steps. He Xuan is a capable dancer, with strong technique, but it’s abruptly clear that he’s a younger dancer with less experience than Hua Cheng. Where He Xuan maintained the extended balances with a tight jaw and stiff shoulders and dropped from them gratefully, Hua Cheng suspends on the ball of his foot, drawing it out and slowing his extension till it seems he’s pushing the music, curving the song’s fermatas and languid sweeps.

In time with the trills and high ornamentation, he flicks through hand gestures in rapid succession while his legs sweep rond de jambs into a light leap off his left hand. The motion rolls him back up to the start, into the sequence that begins the entire pas de deux: a heavy step to the side, the sway of loose arms carrying him into a spin.

At this point in the piece, the dancer never looks to the downstage left corner, like it’s bad luck or a persistent blind spot. When He Xuan danced it this afternoon, the choreography had seemed awkward, the missing corner too self-conscious. Watching Hua Cheng now, though, Xie Lian’s heart aches. Hua Cheng pours himself into the movement, every reach a desperate plea, every sharp twist furious rejection. Standing in this absent corner, where Shi Qingxuan is to enter, Xie Lian suddenly understands why Hua Cheng has been so insistent about the facing. He bites the inside of his lip at the familiar welling of grief that laps at the insides of his ribcage.

Hua Cheng presses into a suspension with his leg nearly to his ear before dropping into a double turn as rushed and frantic as a hurricane. He stops sharply, finally facing the corner as his leg stretches back in an exquisite arabesque, his arms reaching forward as if begging an indifferent god. His gaze sweeps up and then catches on Xie Lian. Freezing, his eye goes wide, and he stumbles forward half a step, falling out of the final pose.

“Ah, I’m sorry, San Lang,” Xie Lian says, suddenly embarrassed. “I didn’t mean to interrupt.”

Hua Cheng shakes his head even as he rubs the back of his neck. Wiping his hand on his thigh, he gives a small shrug.

“Gege is always welcome,” he says, a little breathless. “I was just surprised.”

His hair’s coming loose from the ponytail, hanging in hanks around his face. With his t-shirt and bright eye, he looks softer than usual, and Xie Lian is briefly possessed by the inexplicable urge to hug him.

“Ah, it looks very beautiful, San Lang,” he says instead before pausing. He drags his bottom lip between his teeth before adding, “I think I see why you were dissatisfied in rehearsal.”

“Oh?”

Raising an eyebrow, Hua Cheng tilts his head to the side in open curiosity, and Xie Lian flusters. He’s still not used to such sincere consideration, to having his words listened to with such care. He scratches his cheek.

“Mn,” he says. “It’s just—you choreographed it with a more experienced dancer in mind, didn’t you?”

Hua Cheng blinks at him once, and Xie Lian mentally goes over his words before flushing. His hands fly up, trying to wave off the offense, and he nearly clocks himself in the face with his shoe.

“No, no, I don’t mean it like that! He Xuan is definitely experienced, too, and plenty capable,” he says in a rush. “Of course he’s a very skilled dancer—all of them—”

A laugh escapes Hua Cheng, and he crosses the space between them with two easy strides. Catching Xie Lian’s hand, he smiles at him. Although there’s amusement in his look, it doesn’t feel like he’s laughing at Xie Lian. It just feels—fond. Warm.

“Gege, it’s alright,” he says. “If you say it’s so, then He Xuan must really just be a useless upstart.”

The teasing edge to his tone is enough to cut through Xie Lian’s fluster, but he groans and buries his face in his free hand at the shameless teasing.

“San Lang,” he mumbles.

Hua Cheng laughs, bright and irresistible, and gives Xie Lian’s hand a gentle squeeze before letting go.

“Anyway, gege’s right,” he says, stepping back slightly and tugging the elastic out of his hair. “I didn’t choreograph it with He Xuan in mind.”

His hair falls to his shoulders, a little rumpled and wavy from being up, and briefly hides his face. As he drags his fingers back through the crown to retie it, Xie Lian cants his head and considers him. He Xuan is the most experienced of Hua Cheng’s dancers, along with Shi Qingxuan. Lan Chang is older, of course, but from what she’s said, she only dances for fun and to teach now. It would take months for her to build back the strength and stamina needed to perform.

“Why don’t you do it?” he asks.

Hua Cheng startles, looking up in surprise. Tightening the elastic, he dips his head a moment before shoving his ponytail over his shoulder to hang in a long line down his back.

“Ah, it’s silly. You’ll laugh,” he says.

“Noo,” Xie Lian insists, grinning. “I promise I won’t laugh at you.”

Looking at him a moment, Hua Cheng narrows his eye, but his lips press together like he’s suppressing a smile. He looks briefly skyward and takes a breath, losing his fight with the smile. Parting his lips, he draws breath to speak before pausing and letting it out in a quiet exhale as he settles his hands on his hips.

“Well. It’s a pas de deux,” he says, like that’s the end of it.

Xie Lian pauses, pressing his lips together and tilting his head. When no more is forthcoming, he can’t help the snigger that escapes him, and Hua Cheng shoots him a betrayed look.

“You said you wouldn’t laugh,” he chides, but there’s no heat behind it.

“I’m not, I’m not!” Xie Lian says, holding up his hands. “It’s just—you really dislike dancing with someone else so much?”

It’s not that Xie Lian would blame him, exactly: as skilled as his company dancers are, Hua Cheng is exceptional. Even with Lan Chang in the peak of her career or He Xuan at his finest moments, the pairing would still be unequal.

“Not exactly,” Hua Cheng hedges. He presses the toes of his left foot into the floor, arching the foot into an absentminded stretch. “It’s just—the one I thought of when I was choreographing isn’t an option. So to dance it with anyone else—they really can’t compare at all.”

Oh. Xie Lian swallows, startled by the sincerity of the explanation. That really isn’t anything to laugh about. He hesitates, chewing at his bottom lip and sneaking a glance up at Hua Cheng. This person Hua Cheng thought of—if Xie Lian ever knew them, they’ve been lost to time. The knowledge weighs like a stone anchor deep in the pit of his chest, but he tries to swallow it down. He’s being presumptuous, really. He shouldn’t make so many assumptions.

“Ah, then maybe we could figure out how to make it work for He Xuan and Qingxuan together,” he offers, tentative.

Hua Cheng’s expression softens, the hesitance fading into a gentle and welcoming warmth. Nodding his head decisively, he smiles.

“Gege has the best ideas,” he praises. “Where should we start?”

Setting his shoes and bag down by the wall, Xie Lian draws in a breath and steps more fully into the room. It’s not for him, to be lit up on the stage with hundreds of eyes glued to every articulation of his hands and feet—but maybe he can still help Hua Cheng, if only by being a second set of eyes.

“Ah, the a la seconde turn that turns into a tilt?” he suggests. “The floor sequence after that seemed to give He Xuan some trouble.”

Hua Cheng nods and rolls his shoulders once before moving back into the center of the space. Starting a few steps ahead, he glides through the movements as naturally and confidently as if they were the only way his body knows to move, as if fit to his long limbs by the finest of tailors. Xie Lian offers advice and suggestions where he thinks they might better shape the choreography to He Xuan’s own movement, but it seems a quiet kind of betrayal.

Watching Hua Cheng dance, Xie Lian doesn’t want to see the piece altered or made for another. He wants to see it like this, like it was meant to be, with Hua Cheng alone in the thin light and the corner empty, open, waiting.

#tgcf #hualian #tgcf fic #tgcf au #dance au #my writing #story: evidence of a lost past #me: this fic will just be a fun lighthearted way to express how much i love dance and hualian #this fic: also possibly a weird way of processing a lot of grief about dance #WHOOPS #who's surprised

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belovedbangtan · 4 years

Text

DIVE : Part 2

Pairings: Jungkook x y/n, Yoongi x oc

Word Count: 4.4k

Description: Camping with your ex, sounds horrible right? The camping trip was planned and payed for long before y/n’s shitty boyfriend broke up with her. Her best friend Abby, Yoongi, Taehyung, Jimin, and Jungkook are there to make sure she has an amazing time. However, sharing a tent with a smoke show like Jungkook is bound to lead to some complications.

Warnings: Language, lap dance, streaking, alcohol use, dom!Jk, sub!yn, fingering.

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When you wake up the next morning, Jungkook is already gone. You quickly start to brush your hair and make yourself look somewhat presentable before anyone has the chance to see you. You brush your hair, putting it in a simple braid to the side. You shuffle though your bag of clothes pulling out a baggy t-shirt and another pair of jean shorts. You jump when you hear the zip of the tent as you’re pulling the shorts over your hips.

“Sup Sexy lady.” Abby sings as she barges inside, plopping down on the air mattress.

“Fuck, you scared me. I thought you were Jungkook,” You scold as you pull the shirt over your bralette.

“Wait,” she sits up and looks around with a disgusted look on her face, “Should I be on this mattress?”

“Oh my god. We definitely didn’t sleep together if that’s what you’re implying.” You roll your eyes as you fold Jungkook’s blanket.

Abby’s lower lip jets out, “But why not.” She pretends to wipe a tear away.

“Uhm, idk maybe because I haven’t even talked to the dude.”

“Well… Kook, Tae, Jimin and Yoongi all want to go Horseback riding if you,” She wiggles her eyebrows, “would like to talk to ‘the dude’,” She rolls her eyes as she quotes me.

“And you’re ex is doing something with his group of douches.”

“Okay, that sounds fun.”

You both left the tent and met up with the boys who were waiting patiently for you by the SUV. When you got there you instantly noticed the way Jungkook’s eyes made their way up your body. When his eyes meet yours you quickly look away. Tae holds the door open for you as you approach, you slide in and he slides in after you.

“I almost punched your ex in the mouth last night.” Tae blurts out unexpectantly.

“What the fuck!” You gasp but you can’t help but laugh at the image of that. It’s definitely something you wouldn’t mind seeing. Tae starts to explain that after you had fallen asleep he came over to their beer pong game, and started to trash talk you.

“Kept saying that ‘it’s pathetic that she came to babysit me’ and shit like that. Like he deadass believes you’re here to win him back.” Tae’s eyes roll into the back of his head.

You take a deep breath, unsure of how to process the new information. If you were being honest, you didn’t think he thought about you at all. So for him to bring you up in conversation was a bit unexpected, and out of character. However, him claiming that you were there to ‘babysit him’ was something you could definitely hear him saying.

“You aren’t here to get him back are you?” Tae’s eyes widen as he looks over at you, “Because I definitely did not say nice things to him.” His presses his lips together thinking he might have fucked up.

“Are you kidding? No. Not a chance in hell.” You scoff.

“Good. You deserve better than that asshole, I can’t believe how close we used to be. Fuck… Jungkook was best friends with him when they were kids.” Jimin blurts out.

You slowly turn around to make eye contact with Jungkook. How did you not know this information. After being with Ben for nearly a year, you had no clue. Jungkook looks up at you raising his eyebrows and nodding as if to tell you that it was true, and definitely not something he liked to talk about.

“So, if you don’t like him, why do you guys hang out?” you ask the obvious question, hoping for a simply explanation.

“I mean, we’re still friends with people in his group of friends. So when we have big events, he’s always there,” Jimin explains he shrugs, “I guess we haven’t really thought about it much until now.”

You nod, looking out the window. You think about it and it makes sense. Anytime you went to a gathering, things were always awkward between Ben and the boys. Most of Ben’s friends would talk to them casually, and it was never awkward or uncomfortable. You remember Abby warning you before you were brainwashed into giving him a chance. She couldn’t give a reason to say no to him, you assumed because she didn’t know him well enough. Eventually she reasoned and backed off, telling you that she would support whatever decision you made.

After a short ride you finally arrive to the stables. You go inside and pay, then the instructors designate a horse for each person. The instructor brings over a beautiful grey horse, named Eve. You lightly pat her before your instructor helps you over. After everyone has mounted their horse, you start on the trail. Side by side, Yoongi was next to Abby, Tae next to Jimin, then Jungkook was next to you. The instructors were ahead and behind the group to make sure the horses were behaving properly.

The trail you chose was supposed to take you to the top of the mountain to a lookout. You definitely didn’t anticipate the rocky terrain, or the feeling that you would fall off the horse. After a few minutes you peak over when you hear a quiet laugh coming from Jungkook.

“What’s so funny?” you blurt out, still maintaining your stiff posture.

“Are you scared?” He looks over at you with a smirk plastered across his face.

“No,” You attempt to loosen your grip, instantly regretting the decision to do so, “and if I was, should you really be laughing at me?” You mumble breathlessly.

He giggles, “No. Probably not,” You watch him as he pushes his lips out in attempt to hide the apparent humor in his features, “Look, just relax. You’re not going to fall off.” He lets go of the harness and leans back. He wiggles his body to show you that it’s okay to move.

“Eve, you’re not gonna let y/n fall are you,” He leans forward asking your horse with a voice sweeter than honey, “Yeah, see… she said no. So just relax, babe.” He says calmly.

You giggle as he attempts to distract you, you don’t miss the way the nickname makes your body heat up, “Okay, okay,” you sit up and roll your neck, loosening your body one limb at a time, “this better? Do I look like a pro?” You giggle, you’re knuckles still white from your tight grip on harness.

He laughs hard this time, “Mhm, definitely a Pro. The cutest Horseback rider I’ve ever seen, that’s for sure.”

Your cheeks turn a deep shade of red and you try your hardest to maintain your composure.

“So you used to be best friends with Ben?” You ask quietly hopefully changing the subject.

He sighs loudly, looking off in the distance, “Unfortunately.” He responds quietly.

You nod, clearly not wanted to press on if he was uncomfortable. He clears his throat,

“Our parents were good friends. We stayed friends through school, until he slept with not 1, not 2, but 3 of my girlfriends.” He laughed to himself, shaking his head in disapproval, “And he would tell me, it wasn’t his fault my girls were such whores.” He mumbles.

You bite your lip, closing your eyes for just a moment. You couldn’t believe you wasted an entire year with someone as disgusting as him. You wondered if he cheated on you while you were with him. More than anything you were pissed that someone would do that to their so called friend. You couldn’t imagine the pain that must’ve cause Jungkook.

“That’s fucking awful, I’m sorry he did that.” You apologize even though you know it won’t mean anything.

“No its fine, just made me realize what a piece of shit he is. Just sucks we still have the same friend groups.”

“He is most definitely a piece of shit,” You chuckle, at least you can agree with that.

“Yeah I don’t know why someone like you even entertained someone like him for that long.”

All you hear him say is ‘someone like you’ and you need to know what that means. You pause before asking because you’re not sure you’re even ready to hear his answer.

“Someone like me?”

He smiles, “Yeah, you know. Someone smart, caring, down to earth, beautiful,” He pauses to look over at you, “the whole package, some might say.”

You look over at him in complete shock, you nod your head slowly looking for the words to follow up, but you can’t find them.

“Some might say?” You hear Tae laugh from the horse in front of you, “Bro, you’re the one that says that.”

Jungkook eyes him down and Tae knows that once they’re off of these horses his ass his grass.

You cant help but to laugh at the two boys, “I’m mean, I’m not sure I agree with that but… I can agree with the fact that we were definitely not a great match.”

Jungkook nods, his cheeks are rosy and you smile to yourself as you think about him getting embarrassed over Tae calling him out.

“Thanks for covering me up last night,” you whisper loud enough for Jungkook to hear. Not wanting to involve Tae and Jimin in our conversation they were clearly eves dropping on.

His cheeks turn impossibly rosier, “No problem, you looked cold.”

“I was,” you smile and he smiles back, “I should have taken you up on your offer to sleep on the air mattress with you, my back was fucked this morning.” You giggle

“So does that mean you’re going to let me cuddle with you tonight?” He asks without a beat.

The rosiness on his cheeks is gone, and dominant Jungkook is back and sending shock waves through your body once again.

“I guess it does.” You agree. You’d be crazy to say no to him. The fact that all you could think about as you slept was cuddling with him didn’t help either.

You finally get to the top of the mountain, and you watch everyone dismount their horses with ease. Jungkook get off and brushes his hair out of his eyes as he walks over to you. He holds his hand out for you to take. When you swing your leg over, he takes you in his arms and set you on the ground. His face a few inches from yours you wonder what would happen if you just closed the gap and let your lips touch. His eyes look from yours down to your lips as if he’s considering the same thing. He brings his hand up to your cheek, cupping it for a moment before he brushes something away along your cheek bone.

“You had some dirt.” He smirks, yet his hand doesn’t leave your face.

“Could you two keep it in your pants for a few more hours?” you hear Jimin whining from the lookout. You both pull away and laugh as you start walking towards the group. Abby pulls beers out of her backpack passing them out to everyone. You know you probably shouldn’t considering you haven’t eaten but you know she’ll call you out if you don’t. Every part of your body wants to look at Jungkook, wants to know if he’s looking at you.

After the instructors take a group picture of you all at the lookout, you get back on your horses and head back to the stables. Tae and Jimin decided to lead a sing-along on the way back, which you were thankful for. You needed time to process all the flirting between you and Jungkook. You clearly didn’t mind it but, part of your brain was screaming to slow down. Jungkook seemed like someone you could actually fall in love with and that scared the fuck out of you. You didn’t even feel that way the entire time you were with Ben, which was even scarier. The thought of you and Jungkook cuddling tonight makes you feel things you haven’t felt in a long time. A mixture of nerves and excitement confusing your brain. Hopefully, the rest of the day would ease your mind about the decision you already made.

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A few hours later you’re all sitting around the campfire. Ben and his group of friends return from their activities and you instantly begin drinking more than you should. Each drop of tequila making your brain a little fuzzier. Jungkook walks over to you, with a shot of tequila and a hot dog.

You’re eyes widen as notice the shot, “For me!?” you squeal reaching out for the shot of tequila, only to be smacked on the hand.

“No, you need to eat before you have more Tequila,” he chuckles as he hands you the hotdog. You roll your eyes dramatically.

“You’re no fun, Kookie,” You pout and you take note of the way the nickname makes him blush. You want to make him blush like that a million times more. You wonder what other nicknames make him blush.

“Awe princess, I can be fun. I promise.” He reassured you, licking his lips as he puts the shot of Tequila to his lips and tilts his head back. You know you’re staring but you can’t help it. Everything about him was pulling you in. You turn away and you eat the hotdog because he was right. You choose to ignore the fact that he paid enough attention to know that you needed to eat something. The fact that he paid that much attention at all was mind blowing to you.

As you finish eating, one of the girls that’s in Ben’s group of friends starts a game of truth or dare. She demands that everyone has to play, instantly making your roll your eyes. Abby pulls her chair up next to yours, Yoongi, Tae, and Jimin follow her lead. Jungkook decides to sit on your left. The girl who starts the game, decides she’ll go first and she picks Lucas, daring him to kiss another one of the girls in the group. You groan knowing exactly where this was heading. Tae gets picked and chooses dare, they dare him run into the river naked. You gasp when he instantly rips his shorts and shirt off and runs towards the river. Jimin, Jungkook, and Yoongi laugh so hard they can’t breath. You and Abby look at each other wide eyed when you realize why Tae wasn’t nervous about being naked. He returns from the dare, everyone gives him a round a applause and he bows after he slides his shorts back on. He looks around the campfire and it takes you off guard when you hear your name roll off of his tongue.

You almost forget you’re playing a game, you nervously look around to see Ben clearly talking about you to one of his friends. Which only pisses you off, “Dare.” You decide confidently.

Devilish doesn’t even begin to describe the mischievous look that paints Tae’s face.

“I dare you…” His eyes flick over to Jungkook, “give Jungkook a lap dance.”

All you hear are gasps and laughter from the people you barely know. You’re heart starts to pound, but the Tequila coursing through your veins is forcing you out of your seat. Tae pulls out his phone and plays F&MU by Kehlani without being asked, almost as if he’s had this planned all along. You take a deep breath and you position yourself in front of Jungkook. He smirks lifting one brow, almost as if challenging you.

You place one leg on either side of his lap, you lean back rolling your hips forwards. He licks his lips looking down at you. The people around you start to cheer you on, hoping to get more from you. You lean forward still grinding into him, kissing his neck and making your way up to the spot just below his ear. You stand up as the chorus starts and you turn around, sitting back down on his lap. You lean back into him as you take his hands, sliding them down your body. You slowly grind to the beat of the song. You giggle as you hear multiple people yell ‘get a room’ jokingly. Jungkook, pulls you into him close placing a kiss to your neck before helping you get off of him and back to your seat. You compose yourself enough to ask Jimin truth or dare, he picks truth, and you bite at your lip as you decide what to ask him.

“Who is the sexiest person here?” You smirk already anticipating his answer.

He bites his lip as he thinks on his answer, laughing to himself when he decides, “After watching you give that lap dance and Tae skinny dip, I think it’s a tie.” He admits with laughter.

Everyone starts to laugh and agree, which instantly made you shy. The game was fun and you’re glad you played. Until one of the girls picks Ben, who of course picks dare. You take a deep breath, and Jungkook’s hand brushes yours. You don’t need to look at him to know that this was his way of comforting you.

She dares Ben to take a body shot off of her. You watch in disgust as he licks up her body in familiar way, and makes out with her longer than necessary. You want to feel unphased by it. You wished you didn’t feel anything at all. You’re heart starts to ache as you watch him pull her into his lap when he’s finished. You breathe easy thinking the worst was over, until he chooses another girl to give him a lap dance as a dare.

You instantly turn away watching the girl awkwardly squirm on top of your ex. Suddenly you feel yourself being yanked out of your seat. A large tattooed hand pulling your towards the table of drinks.

“I think you earned that shot.” Jungkook smirks at you as he pours two shots, handing you one and taking one for himself. He taps his shot to yours and you both shoot it back. The game starts to die off and everyone starts to split up into their groups. Some people head to their tents to take care of the built-up sexual tension the game caused. You stay up for about another hour drinking with Tae, Jimin, and Jungkook. Jimin being a drunk and giggly mess, and Tae being way too loud for how late it was.

“Okay boys, I really need to sleep,” you stand up and Tae tries pulling you back down to him, you giggle as you shake him off, “you should go to sleep too!” You yell as you walk towards the tent. You unzip the tent and bed over to slide inside. You sit on Jungkook’s blow up mattress as you slide your shirt over your head, and your pants off your legs. You reach for the shirt on top of your backpack, knowing that it was Jungkooks. You smirk to yourself as you put it on. Maybe you were poking the bear but really you just hated to wear pants when you slept and his shirt was long enough to be a dress. You pull your pillow and your sleeping bag to the mattress as you lay down. Maybe 15 minutes later Jungkook is unzipping the tent to join you. You see that he has two bottles of water and Aspirin. You’re stomach gets that familiar feeling again, realizing that for the second time today, he’s thinking about your needs.

“Sit up.” He demands and you listen, “So obedient.” He rasps, instantly making you press your legs together. You roll your eyes as he hands you two pills and a bottle of water.

“Drink a lot of that, okay?” He points in your direction; you start to chug it giving him a thumbs up. He tilts his head to the side giggling quietly. He crawls to the place beside you on the air mattress. Laying on his side, his arm propping him up with his head resting his hand.

You finish most of the water, and you set it to the side of the mattress knowing you would wake up with a dry mouth. Jungkook watches as you unzip the sleeping bag to make it big enough to cover the both of you. He smiles when he realizes what you’re doing. You lay down on your back, trying not the think about what might happen in the next few minutes. The air mattress bounces lightly as he closes the small gap between you and him. His fingers tug at the hem of his shirt on your body.

“Comfy?” He raises his eyebrows and you instantly blush. You nod your head so delicately, almost begging him not to be mad at you.

“I’m glad, I could definitely get used to seeing you in my clothes.” His voice is quiet and soft and it melts you like butter. His fingers slide up to your jaw and he gently tugs your face so that you’re looking at him. You swallow hard when your eyes meet his lust filled ones. Without even thinking you’re lifting your lips to his. His hand wraps behind your head lacing into your hair as his lips meet yours. The kiss is slow and you can tell he’s teasing you. You bring his bottom lip between your teeth, earning a low growl from him.

He pulls back and he starts to suck and kiss his way down your neck. You can’t help the moans that leave your lips. Each kiss he left felt like a tiny jolt of electricity. His fingers brush the spot on your thigh just below your (his) t-shirt. He slides the t-shirt up until he can see the top of your panties. His tongue runs along his lower lip and his eyes get heavy. You buck your hips up against his hand, you need him to touch you. You feel his chest as he laughs at your impatience.

“So needy,” He looks back at you, with a smirk playing on his lip, “What do you want, baby? Use your words.” He encouraged before kissing your lips softly.

“Please touch me.” He smiles as his hand ducks under the hem of your panties.

His middle finger presses against your clit with a feather light touch, making you want to scream already. He nudges your head with his nose so he can have full access to your neck. His fingers starts to circle softly around your clit before slowly running through your wetness. You know you’re wet, honestly you don’t think you’ve ever been this wet in your life. Jungkook groans as one of his fingers slides inside you.

“So fucking wet for me princess.”

You have to cover your mouth when he switches from one finger to two. His thumb dancing on your clit as he slides in and out of you. You sit up on your elbows watching him, turning every few seconds to bite at his jaw bone.

“Feels so good,” You moan into ear, he adds another finger.

You throw your head back, your back arching off of the mattress as he hits all the right spots. You’re body is hot and it feels like a coil inside of you is about to snap, you don’t stop the moan that falls from your lips.

“Come on pretty girl, cum for me.” He begs and you do, you nearly scream as you come apart on his fingers. He slows down and lets you ride out your high. He brings his fingers to his mouth to clean them, and the sight alone makes you wet all over again. You bite your lip when you realize he’s rock hard beneath his lose basketball shorts. You start to reach out for it but he laces his fingers with yours instead. You look up at him with the saddest face, full pout and scrunched up eyebrows, like someone just told you your dog died. He tries not to but he has to chuckle.

“I want you in my mouth.” You whine.

He laughs as he lays on his back, pulling you to his chest to cuddle. You look up at him with wide eyes.

“Why won’t you let me? You don’t want me to?”

His eyes get big and he takes your cheeks in between his hands, “Of course I want those pretty lips wrapped around my cock,” he coos with a kiss to your nose, “but I want you to be sober before we do anything else.”

You know that you’re not nearly as drunk as he thinks you are, but still it’s refreshing to have a man consider your mental space before his own sexual needs. Again, something you had never experienced.

You lay your head down on his chest, and his fingers work their way through your hair. Gently massaging your scalp. You couldn’t understand why everything he did made your body react in a way that was unknown. Maybe because you had never been with someone where there was actually chemistry. You feel his finger under your chin, as your head is pulled up to look at him. He cups your cheek, lightly brushing your cheekbone with his thumb. If you didn’t know any better, you would think that he loved you. That’s how he looked at you. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the post orgasmic bliss, but that’s what you felt. You swear he feels it too.

He swallows hard before pressing a soft kiss to your lips, “You’re the most beautiful thing, I’ve ever seen in my life.” He whispers with adoring eyes. You instantly look away, feeling the tears starting to form in your eyes. He wipes one away as it falls down your cheek.

“What’s wrong? I shouldn’t have said that?” He questions himself and you shake your head quickly. He was wrong, so wrong.

“No, I just…” you inhale trying to decide how to word what you were feeling, “I don’t think anyone’s ever talked to me like that.”

He nods, and you see anger cross his features for a moment and then leans back, his hand running up and down your spine. You lay your head back on his chest, letting the sound of his heartbeat lure you into a deep sleep. “He’s a piece of shit for not realizing how incredible you are, I hope you know that.” He whispers.

You let out a quiet sigh in agreement, falling asleep a few moments later.

A/n: Please dont forget to let me know your thoughts!! Also let me know if you want to be on the taglist! <3

#bts #bts smut #bts fluff #bts imagine #jungkook #jeon jungkook #jungkook smut #jungkook imagine #jungkook fluff #jeongguk #jeongguk imagine #dive #dive imagine #belovedbangtan #jungkook x y/n #jungkook x reader

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baekhyuq · 4 years

Text

“Cybersex.” Baekhyun (m) Robot!bbh

[Artificial Intelligence!Baekhyun/Robot!Baekhyun]

Genre: Smut/Fluff

Word count: 3.5k

Playlist: Cybersex - Doja Cat/Say so-Doja Cat

Summary: You order your first AI because you’re lonely, but the AI seems to be more in control of you than you are of him.

Dragging the tab to customize your characters face, you make a sound as it comes together. Your customized character looks absolutely fuckable. In your own words.

Your friend—Yeri—introduced you to a very popular company that allows you to custom a robot/AI and have it delivered right to your door step. This was a dangerous thing you’ve considered many times. What if the AI becomes something evil? Your worries were just childish but valid. Your friend assured you nothing bad would happen, you could always report it to the company.

She went on to tell you how she’s had her AI for about a year and nothing has happened. You remember coming over to meet her robot—man. He was charming to say the least, with the modern technology they’ve developed over the years, they’ve replicated human emotions almost perfectly. Some interactions are still awkward and stiff between the human and AI.

“It’s expensive but worth it, I need somebody.” You talk yourself into hitting the confirm order button. You stare at the button for over 5 minutes before clicking it and instantly regret.

“W-wait.” You breathe out, what if this was the worst thing you’ve done yet?

***

“Y/n you can’t cancel it...Once the order is made you can’t go back.” Yeri tells you over lunch. You’re both eating veggie burgers with a side of fries. You explained how you’ve tried everything to cancel your order to the company.

“I cant believe I just blew so much money on fucking AI.” You sulk in your seat, the truth is, you’re lonely and need a companion but literally buying one isn’t the way to go about it. Right?

“I just wanted someone to share my time with.” You confess, embarrassed. “Is there really no way to cancel my order?” You ask for the third time.

Yeri sighs, “No. Y/n, just think of it as a treat for yourself. There’s no harm done with wanting company!” She manages to cheer you up about the situation in which you’ve spent a large sum on a robot man.

If there’s no way you’re getting your money back then you might as well start making a place for it to stay.

You and Yeri shop for things to decorate its room with. Living in a two bed apartment, you had the space for the AI to live. Or exist, whatever it will do.

Your phone dings, indicating a text message. You check your phone, a message displaying across the screen. “AI has been delivered.”

It’s been only a day.

“Yeri!?!” You yell in the middle of checking out.

She turns to you with wide eyes, “What’s wrong? Do you not like the bedding that much? I’ll change—“

“It says he’s been delivered!” You whisper yell, you didn’t want anyone knowing you fell into society’s trap of having an AI.

Yeri’s face relaxes, “Their delivery has gotten faster, Chanyeol took about three days for them to ship him.” She smiles fondly, “We should go to your house asap.”

***

“I didn’t freaking know he would get here the very next day!” You’re more freaked out by the very tall box that’s standing by your front door.

“I-is he alive in there?” You tap the box.

“He has to be activated first silly.” Yeri giggles at you, pushing the box past your door way. “Let’s go!”

“Yeri im terrified.” The heavy box has been standing in your living room for almost 20 minutes. Yeri has had enough of your hesitating self, she’s taken the responsibility into her own hands to open the box.

“Instructions. These are important, so don’t throw them away, got it?” She talks you through the unboxing. She pulls the wings of the cardboard back and you see a hand.

“Oh my god!” You cover your eyes. This can’t be fucking happening.

Yeri tears away the plastic the robot is wrapped in. You peep through your fingers. He’s absolutely breathtaking. You gasp audibly.

“Oh my god, Y/n. You made this?!” Yeri’s surprised by how handsome he is, giving his shoulder a squeeze. “Oh he’s toned, lets activate him!”

Yeri takes your phone and goes to the app of the company. She navigates through some steps before coming to a loading bar.

“Once this is filled up then you’ll have yourself a man!” Yeri’s clapping happily as she sits beside you to wait patiently. “You did such a good job, his face is so handsome.”

You’re jaw is still on the ground, you can’t believe your creation is here in the...flesh? You’re scared but at the same time you’re also excited.

“It’s almost finished.” Yeri’s voice breaks you out of your staring competition with the robot that has ceased to live yet. “Complete!”

A sound is emitted from the app, a beeping and a few buzzing sounds before its quiet. You can Yeri are hanging off the edge of the couch.

“Did it work—“

The AI jolts to life and looks around the room before introducing himself, “Hello, my name is Baekhyun.” A smile reaches his face and he looks even more handsome.

You’re forced to stand, reaching out to take his hand, shaking it. “H-hello my name is Y/n. It’s nice to finally meet you, Baekhyun.” Your hand is sweaty and you’re hoping he isn’t able to feel it.

“Your hand is damp, sweaty palms is an indicator that the person is nervous. Am I making you nervous Y/n?” The AI says intelligently, his voice is soothing. It’s also embarrassing that he just pointed that out.

“I’m sorry, I’ve been nervous since I ordered you...” You’re uncomfortable claiming that you bought him right to his face. Is it like an unnamed rule that you shouldn’t mention it?

“That is a normal reaction I suppose.” He laughs, your heart melts and your stomach erupts with butterflies. “Your brain is releasing oxytocin and cortisol, now your blood vessels around your gut are constricting. You must be feeling nauseous now, or as you humans call it ‘having butterflies in your stomach’.”

How can he tell by just standing near you?! It’s almost creepy!

“Baekhyun you’re very knowledgeable, you know that?” Yeri jumps in to slice the awkward conversation. She stands up to shake Baekhyun’s hand introducing herself.

“Nice to meet you, Yeri.”

“I actually have an AI of my own, his name is Chanyeol.”

“I’ve never heard that name before. He must be a customized model?” Baekhyun asks.

Yeri nods, “I should introduce him to you one day!” That’s not a bad idea, Baekhyun will probably become lonely here when you’re out.

Baekhyun smiles before shifting his attention to you. “You are my creator, correct?”

His question throws you off for a second. “Yes.”

“Alright, you must answer a few questions for my system if that’s alright.”

“Ah yes, that’s fine, please come and sit.” You and Baekhyun sit next to each other while Yeri wonders off into the kitchen for food.

Baekhyun asks questions such as what his duties are, or where he may or may not go in the house, ect.

“What is my purpose?” He asks, a blue dot by his ear lights up.

“For keeping me company...” You couldn’t blatantly tell him he was here because you wanted a man in your life! What kind of creator would you look like?

“Just company?” Baekhyun smirks almost, a questioning look on his face. He doesn’t press further, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. He could sense your heart rate increase at his questions. Your cheeks were becoming red by the minute. Each question would result in a stuttering response from you. Baekhyun found you fascinating.

“That is all I needed thank you, my system will accommodate to you based on the answers you provided.”

“Ah, no problem.” You can’t help but stare at him, he’s just so perfect. The round rip of his nose and the curve of his cheeks. It’s all so inhuman.

“I h-have a question actually.” You turn to face Baekhyun, your leg brushing his.

He nods encouraging you to speak.

“May I touch your face? I know it sounds weird but I just can’t stop staring at it, I know I created your face and all but I just want to see for myself. You know? Should I not mention that I created you? Does it make you uncomfortable? I won’t do it if you’re uncomfortable—“

Baekhyun interrupts your speech by grabbing your hand and placing it on his cheek. “Fleshy exterior and a metal interior. I’m made of 60 percent of customized silicone to replicate human skin. But the rest of me is various metals. You may ask any other questions you might have, I will answer to the best of my abilities.” His voice is silk, not skipping even one beat as he spoke.

Your hand hesitates in feeling around his face, tracing his nose and pinching his cheeks even. He feels just like a human. “What’s your hair made of?”

“100 percent human hair.” He chuckles, his hands in his lap. “My teeth are made of the silicone and various muscles replicated are made from the silicone, but with variations of densities with making one organ harder or squishy. Here touch it.” He sticks out his tongue and you grab it without hesitation. It’s wet and rough like a tongue.

“Wow, thats so freaky.”

“Right? The wondrous world of AI technology!” Baekhyun’s first joke to crack has you giggling endlessly.

***

‘He’s charming’ is your first thought of Baekhyun, he hasn’t stopped making you laugh since he’s arrived. Another thing is that he’s understanding, you’ve been sharing your personal life with him and he’s listened the whole time without judgement. He’s even given you well constructed advice.

“Ah! I forgot, Yeri and I were actually shopping for your room today. We picked up a few things, we weren’t sure what you’d like since...you know.” You led him to his room which was right across form yours.

“Wow that’s very considerate of you both, I really appreciate it.” Baekhyun looks around, the rooms to his liking. He doesn’t know exactly what he likes about it but he’s content with it.

“If you want anything else to decorate it with just let me know!” You stand at the door with your hands together. It’s an awkward silence before Baekhyun speaks.

“Is there anything that you would like me to do?”

“Oh, I—no. Not right now, no.” Your stuttering response makes Baekhyun emit a laugh.

“You don’t have to be nervous around me Y/n. I am your creation think of me as...” He pauses to think, his chin in his hand. He looks back at you, “Think of me as if i’m just your boyfriend!”

You choke on your spit, alarming Baekhyun who stands up to pat your back.

“Baekhyun I think i’m going to take a shower feel free to wonder the apartment.” You spit out before practically running to your room. If he wasn’t a fucking AI you would jump his bones right then and there.

You try to calm your heart rate with a steamy shower. The mirrors fogged up and you’re listening to your music on a low volume, minding your new roommate.

You’re shaving your legs when you hear the door open. You pause, did you hear right? There’s no possible way he would—

The shower curtain is ripped back and reveals a naked Baekhyun.

“Baekhyun—close the curtain! What are you doing in here!?” You scream in terror, your AI has literally just seen you naked.

“I thought this was an invitation? Did I read you wrong? Your body temperature was very high and your eyes were dilated. Those were signs of attraction, then you said you would go shower, I thought—“

“Baekhyun get out!” You cut him off by yelling.

Baekhyun leaves the bathroom. You’re absolutely mortified and embarrassed. You get out the shower wrapping a towel around your body to dry off. You begin to dress when you notice the shadow of his feet. You pull open the door, standing face to face with Baekhyun.

“Y/n, I ran through my system to see what mistake I made and I apologize.” He looks down at you, his arms at his side. He looks so robotic.

“Baekhyun don’t come into the bathroom when I’m in here... People take showers alone, okay?” You’re straining from what you want to actually say. Please fuck me now, Baekhyun.

“Yes Y/n.” There’s a pause. “Did you like it?”

“Like what?”

“The body you created.” He almost smirks, and you want to wipe it off his face. His subtle cocky attitude makes you uncomfortably horny.

“Seeing as your body temperature is rising again and you’re blinking a lot. And also how your brain is releasing plenty of dopamine and also your nipples are poking through your shirt. You must have enjoyed a part of it.” He’s leaning closer, blocking you from running.

“Tell me Y/n. Do you want to test if this body can meet your expectations? Would you like a test drive?” Baekhyun’s mouth is by your ear, his breath fanning the side of your face.

You can barely respond with a nod, not trusting your voice.

“I need words, I need your verbal permission. I will not hold back If you agree Y/n.” The way he says your name, your kitty is dripping already.

“Yes, Baekhyun. Please take me.” You gain a small amount of confidence from his want. His desire. Your hands grips his toned arms.“I want you.” You whisper.

Baekhyun picks you up with inhuman strength and carries you to your room. He tosses you on the bed.

“I would ask how you like it, but telling by your arousal at me throwing you on the bed I’d conclude you enjoy it rough.”

His words shoot right to your kitty. Fuck, how could this robot possess so much sex appeal right now? Looking like that should be a punishable crime.

You’re also curious, as to how he will perform. Will he be inhumanly perfect? Will he be careful? They are questions begging to be answered.

“What are you thinking of at a time like this? You’re zoning out.” Baekhyun straddles you on the bed, his hands running up your sides to take hold of your hands. He pins them above you, glaring down at you.

“Keep your mind only on what’s happening in this room.”

“I was thinking about you.” You bite your lip as you shamefully admit your dirty thoughts.

“Were you?” His eyes travel down to your lips, he licks his own.

“I was thinking of how you would be..in bed.”

“Is that so? Why don’t I just demonstrate.” Baekhyun dips his head to catch your lips with his. His lips taste like cherry, how could this be? His hand comes to the side of your face to caress your cheek. He’s gentle.

“Go ahead then.” You gain confidence at his desire, once more.

“Yes, Y/n.” He breaks away to let a smirk play on his lips. He starts with your nightgown, taking off the lacy slip. He kisses your shoulders and over your collarbones. His hand travels to your waist, holding you. You breathe calmly, the nervousness melting away with each kiss set by Baekhyun.

“Your heart rate has calmed but your body temperature is rising. How adorable.” He pushes your panties down teasingly, not taking them off. You roll your eyes, pushing him by his shoulder. For an artificial man he posses enough charisma and sex appeal to charm you out of your panties yourself.

He lets the band of your panties smack against your skin. You whine and pout, furrowing your brows at him. Baekhyun puts his hand over your clothed kitty, letting a single finger push down and sink between your folds. He rubs your clit gently, barely stimulating you but revving your engine nonetheless. You grab onto his wrist, asking him to rub you harder.

“Stop teasing.” You whine at his dainty touch, wanting to be petted way heavier than what he’s giving. Baekhyun laughs at your desperate attempts. He gives in and presses harder on your clit, rubbing in circles. You moan quietly, biting your lip quickly after.

Baekhyun’s brows furrow at the sound of your moans, his ears have never heard such a sound before. He rubs your clit harder to hear the song once more. You hold out trying not to embarrass yourself but it slips out when Baekhyun licks up your neck.

“Your moans are so adorable, Y/n.” You feel his voice vibrate through his chest.

Baekhyun slips his hand into your panties, touching your bare clit, his fingers become sticky and damp. The sounds coming from between your thighs fill the room, along with your heavy breathing. Baekhyun seems to be the only one unaffected.

“How can you not be out of breath?” You ask, turning your head to face him.

Baekhyun grins at the layer of sweat over your body. “Oh, Sweetheart. I am very much affected.” He takes your hand and places it over his chest, his hearts beating fast. “You caused this.”

He catches your lips in his and your hand sneaks up to the side of his face. His finger dipping into your hole surprising you, you jolt and let out a surprised squeak.

“The noises you make, I could listen to them all day.” Baekhyun confesses, he sits up, positioning you to lay on your stomach.

You lay obediently, becoming anxious for his touch. His thighs are on either side of your ass, his hand lands on the small of your back. His fingers walk up your spine to your shoulders, then down to the small of your back.

“Baekhyun stop playing, grab my ass.” You whine, arching your back for him even further.

Baekhyun erupts with laughter, “You’re so impatient.” He smacks your ass before grabbing it and soothing the sting. He slides off your panties tossing them on the floor. He has full access to your pussy. He dips his fingers between your thighs, rubbing you from behind. It feels as if the sensation feels more intense in this position.

You moan softly, earning a grunt from Baekhyun. You turn your head to see his face. He’s already looking at you. His dark eyes are penetrating yours. You feel as if you can’t hold out anymore.

“Baekhyun, please fuck me.”

Baekhyun undresses in an instant, you didn’t have to tell him twice. He’s positioning himself up to your pussy and slowly slides in. You almost cry out from the stretch. His length is perfect but he’s thicker than anyone you’ve ever had. He bottoms out, resting his hand on your hip. He slides out and thrusts forward slowly, letting out a low moan in your ear. His chest touches your back. Your breathing is uneven and your heart is beating fast. You could feel every inch of Baekhyun, his delicious cock buried inside of you. Baekhyun wraps and arm around your neck, holding you to him. He starts thrusting quickly, you squeeze your eyes shut at the pleasure.

Your climax begins to build, the knot in your stomach unraveling slowly. You reach down to rub your clit but Baekhyun slaps your hand away, rubbing it himself. You almost feel sensitive at the way he’s rubbing it and you jerk away from his touch.

“Baekhyun i’m about to cum!” You whine loudly, biting down on his arm. The slapping noises emitting from you both fill the room and the bed creaks quietly. The air is filled with sex and the smell of sweat.

Baekhyun furrows his brows as he speeds uo his thrusts. Your body is buried in the mattress, your hip burning from his grip on it. You feel as if any second you will—

“Ah~” Your feet dig into Baekhyun’s lower back, pressing him further into you. Your greedy kitty contracts around his length as Baekhyun tries to reach his own climax. Is it possible for an AI to ejaculate? You find out soon when Baekhyun lets out an animalistic grunt and your back is covered in a sticky wet goodness. Your feet drop back into the bed, fatigue plaguing you as your head rests on Baekhyun’s arm under you. You can feel his heavy breathing evening out as he rolls off of you.

“Well?” He breathes out, looking over at you.

You look up at him with droopy eyes. “Well what?”

“How was my performance, did I meet your expectations?” His toothy smile melts your heart once more. You place a hand on his chest, curling up by his side.

“You were amazing, I didn’t think I would cum so hard by an AI.” You tease poking your tongue out at Baekhyun. He spanks your ass and you giggle.

“This AI can do more than make you cum more than once, Sweetheart.”

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tomsrebeleyebrow · 4 years

Note

Hi! Can I ask for a blurb where the reader is insecure about being in a relationship with someone bc she's afraid of getting hurt due to domestic violence that happened in her family so she tells Peter about it and he comforts her? I definetly get it if you don't feel comfortable about writing or if it's a trigger to you, hope you're having a great day/night 😊

A/N: what a heartbreaking request 🥺😢 but in this house, we always provide happy endings even when talking about harsh subjects. so here it is, dear nonnie 💕 all of you out there, care about yourself and never hesitate to talk about it, please. stay safe sweethearts 💖💗

‘Stay safe, Cheer up’ blurb event

A BIT ANGSTY BELOW (MENTION OF VIOLENCE), SO BEWARE! (FLUFF ENDING)

You’ve been in love with Peter since the beginning of secondary school but never dared to confess. Your shy nature always took over in anything you did, acting almost like a shield, a shield you slowly built around yourself year by year to protect you from a lot of things: stress, love and mostly violence.

But how were you supposed to know Peter would actually confess to you once in high school? You still recalled that day when the nerdy boy came to find you at the school library as he somehow knew you would be the only one there at that time.

And you accepting to go out with him definitely shocked your friends, and your own self. But you and Peter were undeniably the cutest couple that could exist, and anyone would agree on that. Two awfully cute teenagers in love.

But something was wrong and Peter felt it - not with his Peter tingle. Even after going out for now four months, you acted a bit strange towards the boy when he got rather close to you, like when holding hands or even sitting close next to each other. Your body seemed to stiff automatically, your facial features tensing as you then began stuttering about weird and nonsense words. As if maintaining some distance between you two on purpose. Mostly, you haven’t said to Peter the three famous words he magically told you to ask you out. He was always the one saying them, hoping you’d say it back to him too but without pressuring you.

I love you.

But still, you never did.

Despite whatever people say, Peter was really observant - this time thanks to his spidey senses - and he was determined to understand what was going on one for all. You already refused to hang out to his apartment multiple times, so the boy asked you for a date on Saturday, only consisting of sitting in the nearest park next to where he lived, to chill around like normal teenagers.

Arrived that day, you both casually sat on a bench drinking soda Peter brought along for the date. People were coming and going in the park, children running after each other on the grass and dogs playing at fetch. A normal Saturday. As you were talking about the next chemistry project of next week, Peter gulped before gently interrupting you, still not too abruptly.

“Err- (Y/N), can I ask you something?”

“Sure Peter, what is it?”

Peter took a deep breath in, hoping to gather some courage and finally spoke again.

“Alright- don’t take it the wrong way, okay? B-but like, I wanted to know- uh... does going out with me bother you? Like I know I’m kinda awkward- okay, a lot actually, so you may have forced yourself to not turn me down... But it’s like you’re building invisible walls around you when I’m near you, w-well that’s how I see it, so you don’t have to-”

Suddenly Peter’s rumbling stopped as he glanced back at you, since you didn’t say a single word. And that was when he noticed you, head low and hiding between your shoulder as if to disappear, and looking away from him.

“Oh God- I’m s-so sorry, (Y/N)! I didn’t mean to hurt you! A-At all! I-I just wanted to understand-”

Peter rumbled again, frantically moving his hands around because his intention was definitely not to upset you, and now he was scared he definitely fucked up any of his chance for you to open up to him.

“... I’m sorry.”

Your voice was like a shy whisper, barely audible but Peter caught it, and cut himself off, almost shocked but mostly confused. Still, he decided to let you talk.

“You’re not the one at fault here, Peter, but it’s me and only me. I just- I-I’m scared...”

You rearranged a strand of hair behind your ear, something you usually do when you’re stressed, your hand slightly trembling. When you finally dared to turn your head back to Peter, you could perfectly read in his eyes he wanted you to proceed in your explanations. So that was what you did.

At first, you were still torn apart from talking about that matter with Peter or not but then, the look in his soft coffee eyes almost screamed to know more. That was Peter, always here to help someone in need. And this time, Peter wanted to help you desperately, the one he grew to love more every day he spent with, to reassure you, to comfort you. At all cost.

So you opened your heart to Peter and exteriorised the morbid thoughts that settled deep inside your being long time ago. How trusting people and getting close to them became nearly impossible since your dad started beating your mum during harsh arguments. Even when you closed yourself in your bedroom, you could still hear her pleadings and cries mixed with your father’s screams. Closing yourself in your wardrobe didn’t change a thing. Your nights got more agitated, nightmares being more frequent than actual dreams, and you kept praying every night to not get hit in return. For nearly seven years, you endured all this violence towards your poor mother, who couldn’t do anything but only plead you between sobs to not say a word to anyone, at the risk of you being in danger too. Even when your dad left you both, your trust towards men was just inexistent and, as sadly as it sounded, Peter was now paying the price of this.

The boy listened to you until the end, carefully and quietly, his eyes never leaving your face. Each of your words etched into Peter’s mind, a heavy feeling soon growing inside of him as your story kept going on. Anger. Not towards you of course, but towards that person you still called “father” who dared to violate your mother in front of your innocent self for so long. Anger towards that paternal figure who made you fear men’s presence near you. An extreme anger because due to that traumatic experience, you were even scared of Peter, your own boyfriend.

But that anger slowly faded into sadness, because dwelling on your though past brought back some bad memories you tried to forget after all these years. And that was when Peter understood he would be the one left to pick up all the pieces of your hurt self, to gather them one by one and finally be able to put them back together.

“(Y/N), look at me please.”

With glossy eyes, your head slightly raised back to look at Peter again, cheeks also a bit red from keeping your tears in. Gently, Peter extended both his hands to you, palms facing the sky. Intrigued, you looked at him before slightly putting your hands on his to rest.

“No one in this word deserve to go through what you did during all these years, (Y/N), and for sure neither you deserved it at all. But remember that I will never raise a single hand at you, that my hands will only provide you comfort and warmth when you need it. And I promise to cherish and protect you from whoever would hurt you in any way. I want you to fully trust me, and I know it may take some time but I don’t care. We will take baby steps and we will make it, okay? Together. I can’t just let you deal with it by yourself anymore. You’re so dear to me and deserve to be happy. Please (Y/N), let me help you-”

As Peter basically forgot how to breath during what sounded like a second love confession, he got interrupted when you threw yourself into his arms. That actually caught the boy by surprise but he didn’t dare to circle his arms around your body, not really knowing how you would react. But he quickly changed his mind as soon as he felt your small hands tightly grip onto the back of his shirt, so his arms gently surrounded you to bring you closer. He rested his cheek on the crown of your head while yours lightly pressed against his torso, his heartbeats soothing your agitated soul.

This was during the embrace you finally knew what you needed to know after all this time: everything would be fine, as long as Peter was by your side.

“Thank you, Peter. So much.”

“I’m here, (Y/N). And always will I be for you.”

🏷 Permanent tag list & mutuals 💖 (get notified)

@allegra-writes @tom-holland-is-spiderman @detroitbydark @blissfulparker @farfromhaz @xxtomxo @worldoftom @charismas-world @stiles-banshees @americaxo17 @zabdisamor @princezzariel @mcuassemble @thatweirdomimic @juliebean247 @harryhollandwhore @spiderbibby @intiate03 @himynameishooman @bookworm06 @flowerboyparker @miraclesoflove @eridanuswave @jillanaholland @mendes-marvel @biebsmylife95 @i-cant-hangout-im-drumming @tsh-darling @popbubblegumpop @fanficscuziranout @beiroviski @langdonlovey @markleehee @riverxholland @tomhoran @itseightbeats @xxrebelswithoutacausexx @rubberducky-jrr @howdyherron @jacobsppsleeve @lovewolfspirit @saysomethingspiderman @yoongi-holland @xxrebelswithoutacausexx @quaksonhehe @the-crazy-fanfictionist

#staysafecheerup #blurb event #blurb #peter parker #peter parker request #peter parker blurb #peter parker angst #peter parker fluff #peter parker x reader #peter parker x fem!reader #peter parker reader insert #peter parker oneshot #peter parker one shot #peter parker imagine #peter parker imagines #spider-man #spiderman #tom holland #stay safe

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pucks-no-fucks · 5 years

Text

Long distance: Kaapo Kakko X Reader (part 2)

*gif isn’t mine, I finally found the maker, @pyatts*

Authors Note: This one is also pretty bad. Next part is gonna be good. Can we please give Kakko more love on this site though? Please and thanks 😂❤️💙

Summary: Kaapo Kakko and Reader get closer and enjoy each other’s company until an obstacle gets in the way (still not completely sure where this is going)

Warnings: Swearing (I think)

Requested: Yes | No

Word Count: 1,524 words

Your heart stopped. Aada’s arms were folded across her chest. Hale seemed upset with himself. You swallowed the lump in your throat and closed the door behind you.

“What happened back there”, Aada snapped.

“Where?”, you said slowly. You could practically hear Aada’s teeth gritting. Hale hung his head.

“At the ice. Your also late. What took you so long?”, she bombarded you with questions.

“That was just messing around”, you hesitated in your answer. Her brows creased.

“I told your mother I wouldn’t let you get involved with any of the boys here. You seemed familiar with him. He’s no good”, she gritted.

You rolled your eyes. “Y/N, I cant believe you would do this! Your parents trusted us with you!”, Hale shouted.

“I don’t see the problem!”, you yelled back.

“We are leaving in the morning”, Aada deadpanned.

Your stomach dropped. “No. I’m staying to watch the rest of the games”.

Hale snorted. “Good luck without tickets”.

You were disgusted with how they were acting. They were acting like children and not mature adults.

“I’m leaving”, you announced. Slamming the key card on the table, you grabbed your suitcase by the door. Before they could stop you, you walked out.

You sighed and walked to the elevator, you were going to have to go get a room. You pressed the button and the elevator opened a few seconds after. You heard Aada’s voice. Kaapo stood before you in pajama pants and a bucket of ice.

“Y/N? Where you going”?

You walked in the elevator with him, quick so Aada and Hale didn’t see you. “I have to go get a room”, you mumbled.

Kaapo raised his brow. “You could come down the hall to me”, he informed you.

“Your roommate might not like that”, you nudged him.

He smiled, “Roommates with girl. Won’t be back tonight”.

“I couldn’t”, you said shyly. “I don’t want to intrude”.

“It’s okay. I want you there. There is no game for few days”, his hands gripped the bucket tighter, knuckles turning white.

“Okay, if your sure”. Kaapo smiled and his finger went to the button indicating your shared floor.

It was a quiet ride. The elevator made a few stops along the way. The walk was also quiet. Not an awkward quiet. More of a peaceful, comfortable quiet.

You heard Aada panicking down the hall. She was on the phone with who you assumed was the receptionist. You swallowed thickly. Kaapo opened the door of his room and ushered you in.

It was nice. Obviously boys had taken over, but it was decently clean.

“This is nice”, you smiled.

“Yea is a nice room”, he grinned back.

“Promise I’m not going to be murdered tonight”, you joked, holding your pinky finger out.

Kaapo let out a chuckle, “I promise”. He wrapped his pinky finger around yours. It was a peaceful exchange. Pulling away from him wasn’t particularly easy.

He set the ice bucket on the dresser and grabbed the remote. He sat on the bed and started flipping through the channels. You stood awkwardly. A normal occurrence for you. He looked over at you and patted the bed beside him. Happily you sat next to him. He passed the remote over to you.

“Nothing good”, he mumbled before flopping back on the neatly made mattress. You giggled, and settled on the random show that was playing when he handed the remote to you. You set it on the night stand and flopped down beside Kaapo. You closed your eyes and just enjoyed the moment. Knowing that tomorrow Aada and Hale were going to ship you back to Canada for sure.

The two of you sat in silence for what felt like forever. Really it had only been ten minutes.

“How long are you staying?”, Kaapo sounded sleepy.

You turned your head to look at his face. “I’m not sure”.

~~~~~~~~

The next morning was calm. Kaapo shook you awake gently. He was mumbling something in Finnish and sleep painted his expression.

“What are you saying?”, you mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of your eyes.

“Food”, he mumbled back.

On the nightstand was a variety of fruits and what looked like pancakes. You sat up slowly, still not completely awake. “Nice”, you whispered to yourself.

Kaapo smiled at the comment and popped a strawberry in his mouth.

Breakfast was quiet. The fruit was fresh and the ‘pancakes’ were warm and soft. You savoured every bite. “So what’s your plan for today?”, you asked looking over at the tired boy.

He gave you a lazy smile. “Not sure. We can walk”, he relied softly. He put his head on your shoulder for a moment. “Whatever you like”, he continued. Your fingers started to brush through his hair, taming the bed head.

“It doesn’t matter to me”, you told him. Truthfully it didn’t. This was nice. He was nice. He was calm and peaceful and soft.

“I can take you out”, he said smirking.

You let out a snort. “We had a deal mister”. You booped his nose. “Boop”, you finished.

His eyebrow lifted slightly but he returned the favour. Also ‘booping’ your nose.

Yea. This was nice.

~ Time skip ~

Finland had advanced to the finals. Against your precious Canada. As a Canadian you couldn’t wear a Finland jersey. It just wasn’t going to happen for you. Maybe another person would. For you? Never.

The game was almost over. If Canada didn’t get their shit together you knew you were going to loose to Finland. You watched the game carefully. In the end Finland prevailed. Taking home the champs. They celebrated and cheered. They worked hard for it. You were happy for them. You were happy for Kaapo. Even though Canada lost.

You waited for him. You walked around an explorers fully aware that this could take a few hours. There was a small shop and you got Kaapo something to eat. You examined the walls of the arena.

“Y/N!”, a woman called out to you.

Your head almost spun like BeetleJuice. Aada and Hale stood on the other side of the arena. Your heart started racing.

“Y/n?”, Kaapo’s voice echoed.

Aada started marching towards you. “Your going back! I can’t let anything happen to you”!

Your lip quivered. This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. Kaapo walked up beside you. “What’s going on”?

“Give me your phone”, you said hurriedly.

Kaapo looked surprised and worried but handed it over to you unlocked. Your hands were shaking as Aada was getting closer.

“Here”, you handed it back quick. You put your number in his contacts.

He looked confused. “What is happening?”, he whispered.

“I have to leave”, you said quietly. You cupped his face and kissed his cheek.

Aada was now mere feet away. “Congratulations”, you whispered. With that, Aada harshly grabbed your arm and started pulling you away.

Kaapo took a step forward but you shook your head. You motioned to his phone. He looked defeated.

Aada dragged you out of the building and to the car. The car ride was full of scolding. They were very upset. Of course they were. They didn’t know where you were.

“Your leaving in the morning. I don’t want you getting involved with boys halfway across the globe”, Aada said bitterly. Your crossed your arms and sulked in the back.

“Why?”, you asked, exhausted.

“Because long distance doesn’t work!”, she snapped back.

You held back the tears in your eyes. “Okay well one, this one didn’t have to be. And two, just because you don’t like them doesn’t mean I have to stay away from them”!

Aada glared at you in the mirror, her lips a thin line. Hales face matched hers. “I said no”, was her firm reply. That was the end of the conversation and you knew better then to continue to argue.

~~~~~~~~~~

It was early the next morning. You bitterly put your luggage in the car. Hale decided to come with Aada for the ride to the airport. You said nothing. They tried to talk to you. You said nothing. They tried everything. You still said nothing.

Hale tried to help you with your luggage but you refused. As you waited for your flight they tried to hug you. You remained stiff as a board. Preferring to not talk to them at all.

You thought you might make Aada cry. You sat beside them, waiting for them to call your flight. The same bitter expression rested on your face. Your phone dinged. You took it out of your pocket and checked.

?: Can you get a flight to Vancouver for the 21st?

You raised your brow.

You: I’m sure I could somehow? Who is this?

You were confused. Ding!

?: Kaapo. I will be there for draft day. Meet me in Vancouver?

Your heart fluttered.

You: I’ll do my best

This was your chance. This could change everything. Love was a strong word. So you wouldn’t say you were in love with Kaapo yet. However the feelings were strong and you wanted to explore them.

Kaapo: <3

This was it.

“Flight 245 is boarding”.

#kaapo kakko #kakko #finland #hockey #hockey imagine #nhl #nhl imagine #kaapo kakko imagine #kaapo kakko x reader #k. kakko

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lassieposting · 5 years

Note

Hey so I'm pretty new to this fandom and was just wondering why is there so much hate for Valista? I thought at first it was just a ship war thing but it seems like there's a bigger issue I'm missing?

welcome to the fandom, anon! im sorry you only found it after it all went to shit

for me personally it’s not a ship war thing. i ship both ghanith and tanguine, and i have other ships for skug and val even if valdug is my otp. if i liked the ship, and thought they had chemistry, there’d be nothing stopping me from shipping valitsa and valdug. i live in a multishipper’s paradise.

but honestly?

- i hate militsa as a character (along with most of the phase 2 characters, tbh). she has no personality outside of “really annoying boundary stomper”. all the phase 2 characters are flat, one dimensional and have very poor character development. i dont even remember most of their names or who has what power.

- almost every militsa fan/valitsa shipper i’ve ever come across has been some godawful little early-teens nuisance starting shit in the valdug tag, which makes me dislike her more. i’m totally okay with people not shipping what i ship or even shipping things i hate - i have my fandom sandbox and you have yours, and we don’t necessarily have to build the same castle - but if you deliberately seek out shippers of a thing you hate in order to fling abuse at them or start fights, then I have a problem with you, and it doesn’t make me like their ship very much either.

- i don’t like bi!val. Dirty Laundry wrote her as an obnoxious thirsty straight girl for a decade, and then randomly decided to change that to get Representation Points and look progressive. what he’s actually done is make her seem totally ooc and force a badly written, awkward as hell, rushed “romance” he didn’t think through with someone she actively told to leave her alone to begin with and who then totally ignored that and steamrollered her anyway. if he wanted to give someone a girlfriend and show a f/f relationship, china and tanith are right there, have both been canonically bisexual for years, and are both single rn. either one of them would be better than going back on 10 years of how he’s written val.

- ive seen so many lgbt friends/people in the tag expressing disgust/discontent with valitsa and how it’s written and how forced/awkward/ooc it is, along with bi!val in general. and it seems really shady that dick just? doesnt care. like surely if you’re wanting to be more diverse and do it well, you should listen to the groups you’re trying to represent when they say “this isn’t what we want”. the militsa fans seem to be more of the opinion that any rep is good rep, but they’re also all like 14 years old and don’t know any better.

- im actually really bitter china didn’t get a girlfriend you dont even know i will fight landy, she developed so much over phase 1 and i would’ve been so here for her falling for someone and instead we get this mess that i cant even think about without feeling nauseous and ughhhhhhh

- the “chemistry” is….non-existent. the pet names?????? “pETAL”?????? i actually threw up in my mouth a little im not gonna lie it’s disgustingly ooc for val to let people call her shit like that and all their interactions are so forced and stiff and its just. yikes. i cant even read that shit. it’s like reading a preteen’s bad sp fanfic ft. their annoying oc, like some ffnet circa 2008 type shit.

so like. long story short, idk what other people’s reasons are but tbh me shipping valdug does not stop me from also shipping val and skug with other people, so it’s not a shipping war thing. i just don’t like militsa, valitsa, or val/female love interest in general. and the “bigger issue” you mentioned, at least for most people i’ve talked to, is the shitty writing/how forced and ooc it is.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

#anti-valitsa #anti-militsa #also good luck in this fandom anon it's a shitshow #sp meta #skulduggery pleasant

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snkpolls · 5 years

Text

SnK S3E14 Poll Results (Manga Reader Version)

The poll closed with 355 responses. Thank you to everyone who participated!

Please note that these are the results of the manga reader poll. Anime only watchers are suggested not to read if you do not wish to be spoiled about certain events! Anime only viewers, click here to view your poll results!

RATE THE EPISODE 346 Responses

Despite some negatives about the animation of this episode, 87% of the fandom enjoyed it overall, giving it positive votes!

Animation's not movie quality, but damn it was a good episode

I think it lacks some kind of tempo: some moments are stretched out, others are too short.

Could've been paced better, better music choices, less cgi roof shingle focus and could have cut the thunder spear flashback or at least have shortened it... but it didn't look terrible. Although, I wish the fight had a bit more "weight" to it, with moments such as eren punching reiner ( "This is the place where I once called home!" )

Loved it!

Reiner Vs Eren looked a bit stiff, but overall it was a great episode.

The mUSIC WAS SO BOMB

IT WAS SO GOOD I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT ONE WIT NEVER CEASES TO IMPRESS

WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING WAS YOUR FAVORITE MOMENT? 346 Responses

Levi agreeing to fight the Beast Titan was the winner in this category with 31.5% of the vote. The Thunder Spears in action come in second place and Levi sassing Erwin in third.

Levi the madman not losing any of his sass

Liked Erwin’s monologue

Reiner and Erwin’s inner monologue was pretty nice in this episode imo. I like the manga just as much as the anime but hearing their voices in the anime, especially Erwin’s, made those scenes heavier and much more real to me.

Hange looked amazing!

WEAPONRY! It's the way to get it done! WEAPONRY! It's effective and it's fun!

WHO DID YOU FIND YOURSELF ROOTING FOR MORE? 346 Responses

With the 81.8% of the votes, Eren was getting the majority of cheers from the fandom, while only the 18.2% were rooting for Reiner.

Seeing Anime people hating Reiner hurts my feelings. Specially because it will take a lot of time until we see the Marley arc

WHICH SIDE OF THE WALL WOULD YOU RATHER BE ON? 345 Responses

89.3% of respondents agree that they’d much rather be inside of Shiganshina facing off with Reiner than dealing with the threat of the Beast Titan.

STRATEGY MAPS: WHO DID IT BETTER? 345 Responses

This question has a more equal response, with 54.2% of the fandom believing that Isayama did it better with the Strategy Maps while the 45.8% preferred WIT’s animation of it.

HOW MUCH DID YOU SYMPATHIZE WITH ERWIN AS HE REFLECTED ON HIMSELF? 348 Responses

33.3% of the fandom sit directly in the middle between sympathizing with Erwin and feeling that he needs to shoulder the responsibility of his decisions, while 28.2% of respondents truly sympathize with him.

Erwin's speech was the moment I was holding my breath for in this episode, and it was done justice. Not as impactful to me personally as the manga version, but justice done. And that's all I'm asking for.

That look on dead!Mike's face... It was revolting, because real, alive Mike would never have looked at his best friend like that. And that just tells us how terrible Erwin's own perception of himself is... God, he deserves a hug. :'(

HOW MUCH DOES IT HURT TO SEE THE 104TH ATTACKING REINER? 347 Responses

This answer had a lot of relatively equal votes! About 40% of respondents overall didn’t feel too badly about the 104th attacking Reiner, while 23.3% of the fandom felt neither sad nor happy about seeing the 104th attacking Reiner.

104 kickin ass?!?! bless the lord?!?!

If I was anime only I would be happy seeing Reiner's suffering. But as a manga reader I felt a bit of sadness when I saw him being attacked by the SC.

RATE HOW WELL THE ANIME ADAPTED THE CHAPTERS OVERALL: 347 Responses

The fandom seems very pleased with the adaptation of chapters 75-76, with 49.3% ranking it at a 4, while 36% of respondents gave it a 5.

I was so looking forward to Erwin's reflection moment, especially the scene in which he stood on top of all of the corpses. Really well adaptated, just as I expected it to be (even though it was better in the manga, maybe because it was my first contact with it)

Great, faithfully adapting some aspects from the manga, but still the quality should've been a lot better. I hope WIT would rise the standard bar in the future episodes. Overall, it was satisfying to watch.

WERE YOU SATISFIED WITH THE ADAPTATION OF EREN VS. REINER? 347 Responses

Overall the fandom gives the adaptation a pass, with 64.6% of respondents feeling it went about as expected, while 21.3% believe that it was worse than their expectations. The remaining 14.1% felt it exceeded their expectations.

IMO they really could've done better with the OST in Eren vs Reiner fight.

Eren vs Reiner could've had better music to fit the scene. It was a little generic?

Although the adaptation of the Eren vs Reiner fight wasn't as good as I was expecting, I still enjoyed the fight. Definitely wasn't as disappointed as a lot of other people are. I just hope they do my Boi Bert justice next episode.

HOW PUMPED WERE YOU TO SEE PIECK’S TITAN UP CLOSE? 348 Responses

As expected of Pieck! With a slight winning edge, 36.8% are hyped for best girl, while 36.5% feel that WIT captured the eeriness of her titan perfectly! 10.6% felt she looked very cool.

I RABU MY CUTE WIFE PIKU

This design fits her more than the initial one Isayama did back when he wanted to have a middle aged man instead of Pieck. So yeah, I like this one more.

I feel like the Cart Titan looks more feminine than it does in the manga.

It'll be very surprising if she suddenly talks or makes a short noise in the anime version lol

Cart Titan might be my favorite character design of any anime, cartoon, or show. She’s just as beautiful here as in the manga.

They made the eyes more feminine. But it clearly resembles Pieck

I’ve been waiting so long for this I’m satisfied and excited af :’)!!!

GIVEN WHAT HAPPENS LATER, DO YOU THINK ERWIN’S PLAN WAS A GOOD ONE? 347 Responses

64.6% of the fandom feel that Erwin’s plan is the best decision they could have made, while 16.7% feel that while the plan was good, there may have been better options.15.9% are still not sure of the answer.

I don’t even know my own name anymore

This episode really cemented the fact that Erwin never stopped caring about his dream to find out the truth of the world and that Levi made the wrong choice.

Erwin no

DO YOU FEEL THAT ERWIN’S REFLECTIVE MONOLOGUE HAD THE SAME WEIGHT AS IT DID IN THE MANGA? 344 Responses

Erwin’s self-reflection is an emotional part and adds important weight to Erwin’s character! 56.1% of the fandom thinks that the scene was as good as they remember it in the manga, while 25.3% were more deeply impacted by WIT’s rendition of the scene. 18% felt that it could have been done better.

I WAS NOT READY FOR ERWIN'S MOUNTAIN OF CORPSES I DID NOT KNOW IT WOULD HAPPEN SO SOON AND IT CRUSHED ME

WIT does action well, but character moments not so much. The mountain of corpses was almost too big imo. Somehow it had more impact in the manga. Making things bigger and more extreme doesn't necessarily make them more intense in terms of emotional impact.

WHAT DID YOU THINK ABOUT THE ANIMATION AND SOUND EFFECTS OF THE THUNDER SPEARS? 345 Responses

Well over half of the fandom were pleased with the animation and effects of the Thunder Spears. We’ve been waiting a long time and it seems the vast majority of us were not disappointed! :’)

seeing some of the thunder spears in action made their function and operation easier to understand.

YAASSSSSSSSSSS!!! THUNDER SPEARS MAH BOISSS!!

Oh man I did not expect the thunder spears to make those high-pitched squeals but it was actually amazing

Thunder spearsssss

WHICH SCENE FROM THE PREVIEW ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? 347 Responses

With 44% of the vote, manga readers are most looking forward to seeing the Bertl Bomb™! Following behind that at 23% is seeing Marco get eaten by Araki Titan, and 17% of respondents are looking forward to Armin and Bertolt’s confrontation.

I'm REALLY looking forward to watch Marco's death (even though they already showed it in the Lost Girls OVA) and the flipping Serumbowl, which will be epic "

really good cliffhanger, left me uhhhh,,, hung

BERTPISODE WHEN

The ending scene really hyped me up for what's coming

Can't wait to see the corps get obliterated by rocks

GIVE ME THE BIG SWEATY......... LET ME ENJOY HIS LAST ANIMATED MOMENTS :(

These week long waits keep getting worse

ADDITIONAL THOUGHTS ON THE EPISODE?

WHERE’S MY MOBLIT? THEY CAN’T JUST KILL HIM OFFSCREEN WITHOUT EVER SHOWING HIM! :(

Seeing Anime people hating Reiner hurts my feelings. Specially because it will take a lot of time until we see the Marley arc

It was so so slow. I mean I loved every second of it but it was painfully slow, they showed every characters thoughts. Not a bad thing, but not good either idk. I guess it has to build up the tension before the battle.

Does Hanji get prettier with each passing episode?

Needs more Sawano

Aside from the slow/awkward reiner vs eren fight, the animations were honestly sO amazing! the smooth ODMG animations and the Thunder Spears—even down to Reiner sliding back down the wall; it was verryy impressive! In addition, the pacing is honestly perfect and it draws out quite the tension and emotion! Loved it!

I remember reading Eren saying "This is where I...where we..once called home! I'm taking it back!" in the manga and I was like "YES! DO IT!!" but in the anime it didn't have that feeling. Not to mention that the OP had a better punch animation than the actual episode? The second half of the brawl felt more in tune (probably helped by the music that carried from Erwin's part of the episode).

I hope there are gonna be as little changes as possible. WIT butchered one arc already, let's hope they won't repeat those mistakes.

WHERE DO YOU PRIMARILY DISCUSS THE SERIES? 331 Responses

Thank you to everyone who participated! We’ll see you again in a few days!

#snk spoilers #snk s3 #snk poll #snk polls #poll results

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slicktwix · 5 years

Text

Evaluation for FMP

At first i was not sure what i wanted to create, how big it was and what genre it would be from but i was focused on making a large scale creature brought to life with the skills i have learnt through out this year with model making creating multiple small scale models and creatures like a mystic sci-fi alien samurai and a 4 legged, demonic spider, hive mother creature i learnt a lot of tooling techniques also modeling with super sculpey, clay and mud rock. I also learnt how to create strong sturdy armatures that could support the weight of my creations so i wanted to create something that was in my element but also demanding and large it also has to be a subject that i’m passionate about or else i cant connect with my work and not thoroughly enjoy the process that it why i want to create a creature within the realm of Greek Mythology more specifically a three headed dog called Cerberus! why?

Well because i love creating a more realistic grounded model and have used fur in the past to recreate a undead cat from pet cemetery that looked effective and scary theirs a creepy element to taxidermy how the animal is stuck in a real frame of motion stuck in place which can express anger,fear cunning and hunger which is hard to covey with other Art forms.

At first when researching Cerberus and how i would design and recreate him had me torn at first i wanted to create a fairly terrier sized three headed beast but then decided against that as i wanted a large scale three headed dog for the wow factor the armature ended up being about 76 cm in height and in length 60 cm making him quite heavy if made of clay to transport from and to college.

I based a lot of the armature on sketches and drawings i had gathered showing the anatomy of the animal and the placement of the wires also sketches of some of the limbs for basic reference. These really helped and where an improvement on my cat which i did not make any sketches as reference to rely on for vital design decisions to help you develop a good armature.

I first created the armature out of copper bars and used the metal wielder to wield joints and manufacture the legs and body frame of the dog i did not want to create the supports for the neck for practical reasons.i had no problem with metal wielding as i had done it before when recreating my cat this made it fast and satisfying to construct a fully operating armature i did have a problem with the metal wielder being in an awkward place in the room making it harder to get the right angle for me to fit the armature in place to wield the legs to the body but other than that no major problems.

For the platform or stand of the armature i found a good piece of hard board and made wholes using a drill bit the same size as the sticks of wood to be used as beams to support the weight of the three headed Cerberus. due to his size i always had reasonable doubt in my mind for weight proportionality but the beams helped a lot so that none of the legs collapsed and the actual model was stiff interlocked into the stand this is strengthened the whole model and the rest of the process due to its importance to my project.

I then decided that i would use mud rock to strengthen the Armature so it could withhold the weight of the heads, foam and fur.

I had to decide weather i would use clay which would be effective for a statue based Cerberus with great detail which shows the muscular layout of the creature but would not look good because i am not that good at sculpting and a weight issue i would have to move the dog once finished from my house to college. or i could use a more taxidermy based fury based Cerberus complete with clay paws.

I brought my armature to my house over Easter brake so i could really focus on trying to get a lot of work done instead of having to rely on college open hours i’m glad i did this as i really enjoyed the over all process that went in to creating Cerberus but i had to gather a multitude of supplies to make my room a living workshop. for my FMP i brought a Glue gun and fur from amazon due to one day delivery and the reviews of the glue gun which was very high quality and helpful when you can change the temperature. The fur was very important due to the large amount i needed luckily the dog fur came in big sheets of 150 cm to 100 cm i brought 4 sheets for a total of £43. The fur was very similar to that of a bear almost like a mixture of the animals once i had completed it. this could be seen as a slight problem but hopefully did not take away from the final grade to much. I also had to acquire foam to bulk out the mode,l i was thinking about getting expensive foam board but instead picked up three dog beds, which are cheaper and yield a large amount of foam per bed this was very useful for adding the extra chunkiness to the armature at a total price of £26.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/

My next step was adding the foam board/dog beads to my Armature i cut lengths of foam according to how much i wanted to cover of the dog, i would have to fold the foam around legs and mark in my head wear i would cut. This helps me savor the foam and not waste as much of it. I also had to hold a lot of foam in place once stuck with the glue gun as it had a slow setting time i also had a problem where i would burn my fingers due to the heat of the gun because i had to put pressure on every connection i made. I solved this by wearing a thick glove, so the heat could not burn through very effective and stopped my hands feeling awful. this whole process was easy and could of looked scruffy due to the fact it would eventually be covered in fur.

The next day i sculpted the paws, for reference i used pictures of bare skin dog paws to accurately portray the shape and proportional size of the dog paws all though i’m fine with the outcome, their is a lot of room for improvement due to the size of the front left paw being too big, compared to the rest of the paws this is because i did the front left paw first but should have accurately made all the paws to similar proportions this is disappointing because it is my FMP and everything should be to my best standard. Another problem i had was with the anatomy of the dog paw itself being difficult making it a struggle to recreate such a complex part of the dog. i used clay to sculpt the paws which is great for accuracy, one problem i did have was when bringing the model into college one of the paws fell apart aha i solved this by re sculpting a paw at college. more of an inconvenience than a fundamental problem.

After creating the paws i focused on making the heads , this was probably the most fun part of my project as creating heads are an essential part of creating a realistic and good looking imagery, the head is the most important part of any model due to it being what we first look at in a model and will decide if the model is good or bad. so at first i made the basic shape of the head out of tin foil i added the lower jaws using metal wire then layering in tin foil i used about 4 rolls for the whole project at around £5.75 I then added paper mache which i layered multiple times over the heads i wanted to make the heads distinct i did this by the positioning of the ears and the shape of the brows and cheeks of the dogs this was important to give each of the heads more character and identity after the paper mache i had to wait 24 hours (recommended) for the paper mache to dry this step was to ensure a more smoother surface to the heads an add a thickness to the heads i also did this for so it would be easier to add clay and stick the fur to the head tinfoil is not good for this and does not fit the criteria other ways i could of made the heads was by using clay but this would be very heavy to carry into college of course.

while waiting for the heads to dry i added fur to the legs of my armature this was easy enough but some of the fur overlapped looking cheap and horrible. To solve this i cut out chunks of fur from the sheets i had of it but i cut it at an angle so that the ratio of fur to material was 70/30 this was effective for sticking the fur with the glue gun and then neatly shuffling the fur to cover the overlapped spots this took a thew hours over all to cover all the spots and looked way better an essential part of my process to my work.

after this step i added clay and marbles to the eyes of the heads i had to mold the clay to express an angry frown upon his face this worked effectively with all the heads but through out the whole project i had problems with the clay sticking to the heads and paws this could of been because of the moisture of the clay i’m not sure but when i added a dab of water on my finger i could smooth the clay around the heads. this is useful to take into consideration for later projects that involve clay.when i used the glue gun on the dried clay it would dry and fall off not making a bond it took a couple goes to really stick the clay to the object but wasn’t too much of a concern.

when i did the first head the teeth where very low quality and basic as it was my first set of teeth in a long time but i took this into consideration for the other sets of teeth by adding crevices and evidence of worn out teeth and plus the other sets looked more anatomically correct because of the shape and the detail.

My first head is definitely the worst and if i had time i would go back and recreate it completely due to his structure, teeth and the ears but it was a learning experience and every head i created improved in quality due to my knowledge that i learned from my past mistakes, this is the reason i find creating these models so fun and interesting. even the clay around the cheeks and brow improved with minor detail showing wrinkles in the skin and spots. i think it is very important to express the anger of my design through the brow due to the fur covering their faces the most have a strong sense of emotion that pulls through the fur i personally think this went OK and you can see the anger of the creatures but maybe not to the degree i was hoping due to the fur around the face.

for the mouths i used clay to create all the gums and define the jaw i then super sculpted all the teeth and tongues after i had put them in the oven i indented all the teeth into the mouth so it would be easier to insert into the mouth this was effective and went well but had some minor issues with the glue connecting to the clay some teeth would fall out and required re-sticking but other than that no problems.

After that i had to obtain some poles/sticks for the necks of Cerberus this was easy and as i had a forest near my house i had two days before i had to bring the model into college but i had work and didn’t have time to buy sticks. the branches might be quite primitive but worked really effectively i cut the sticks down to size using a saw before whittling away the bark so that when i glue gunned the sticks to the bark wouldn’t break off along with a branch when i brought the armature into college i then rapped mud rock around the neck branches for extra strength for adding the heads.

this is a crucial part of my project involving me attaching the heads to the armature i managed to bring Cerberus into college in me mum’s car and first attached the sticks which represent the skeleton neck of the creature i used glue gun to attach them then put layers of mud rock to strengthen the necks so the heads would not separate and de-attach. i then used a large drill bit to make large wholes in the back of the heads i did a stirring movement with the drill to make the wholes larger for the heads to fit on easily i then poured a lot of glue gun into the wholes i created , i then attached the heads on the end of the sticks firmly to make the bond permanent.

I then added some finishing touches like paint and some different fur to make patterns in his coat. When painting the armature i used a pinkish fleshy brown to show the dirt of the the creature in his natural habitat.

In conclusion i set out to create a three headed dog complete with a snake tail from clay the main difference between them is the fur coat due to weight time restrictions of sculpting all that clay to a professional level and also i preferred the idea of creating a more taxidermy based creature due to its unique nature if i could change anything with my work it would be the general shape of the body the posture is accurate to what i wanted but maybe his front leg is too thick and also the eyes maybe they could be improved another problem i had was with time management i should have planned and recorded what i would accomplish each day if i had started my armature two weeks before i would of had a lot more time to produce a higher quality model that would of been the difference between grades. but i think i have effectively accomplished these goals in the time given and hope to see what your conclusion is of my work.

one change i had to make to my outcome was instead of making all of the tail out of clay i had to use fur for most of the tail and then added a snake head on the end made of super sculpey this was due to time restraints.

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gh0stpkmn · 7 years

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ok sorry for droppin rambly shit in the yooran tag again but! ok. headcanon:

while happy supportive yooran where they’re instantly bffs is so Good and Pure, i feel like another possible way they could start out is.... they Dont like each other at all. they’re almost enemies. they have beef.

putting this under a readmore because its Long sorry. also a link to the beginnings of a fic for this.

(i feel i should mention that i wanted to include the inevitable Rika Conversation™ where saeran is having a relapse/regression moment and slipping into ‘Unknown’ territory bbbbut that seems a bit too heavy and doesn’t really fit in anywhere here. that could be a separate post or ficlet idk)

OK SO. How does this dumb thing start?? let’s set this scene

so... while it’s unlikely that saeyoung would let saeran interact all that much with the rfa until he feels he’s ready (maybe around time of the little rfa get-together in secret ending 2) i’m imagining a scenario where... yoosung is briefly at the bunker.

i wrote this interaction in a lil’ drabble bbbut idk if i’ll write everything as an actual fanfic.

it’s HERE if you want to read it tho!!!!

ok. after this exchange yoosung is just suuuuuper taken aback. he tells himself to brush this off because, again, saeran has been through some shit. he’s probably just not used to people yet. deep down though, he feels kind of hurt and offended.

saeyoung probably just. interrupts to diffuse the situation or smth and tell yoosung that maybe he should leave. apologizes for his brother’s behavior blah blah blah “he just needs time to adjust to everything.”

but. it keeps happening. and the weird tension from their first meeting kind of just.. carries over into their next interaction. and the next. and the one after that

it’s at a point where saeran is less aggressive, less abrasive... he’s just very shy and withdrawn like we see in secret ending 2. he talks in the messenger sometimes, but not often... but when he comes to the chatroom and yoosung is online, he logs out. at rfa meetings / get-togethers, he avoids yoosung

because yoosung is exhausting to be around and he Cant deal with it...(saeyoung is too but he has to deal with that 24/7 anyways)

gradually, saeran opens up to the rfa a little more. he talks a bit more in the chat. sometimes tries making a few jokes. he comes to most if not all the rfa events with his brother. and obviously he’s way more comfortable around his brother and mc, but also he’s on decent terms with the other members.

except. for. yoosung!

now he’s not actively avoiding yoosung, but not making any attempt to talk to him either. if they have to talk at all, interactions are very brief and stiff and uncomfortable. they tolerate each other, but barely.

eventually saeran starts making little comments now and then? like. they’re probably stuck together working on an rfa thing, or yoosung is over hanging out with saeyoung and saeran passes by to the kitchen or to say smth to saeyoung IDK. they have moments where they’re forced to spend time together, and it’s just very very tense.

and at this point Yoosung is Annoyed!!! because saeran is so rude and won’t even try to be friends with him. what an asshole. god.

he gets even angrier when saeran starts making little quips at him. little tiny comments every now and then and they’re not always outright rude or mean but.... his tone is very Deadpan and kind of sarcastic... sometimes he will be rude and mumble a complaint abt yoosung to himself or mock him under his breath, which yoosung hears and gets mad and huffy about

the Last Fucking Straw is at an rfa event of some kind. maybe a party?? yeah. yoosung walks in, ready to have a fun time with his rfa family. he is So prepared for the party and in a great mood. he’s greeting them, everyone is showing up and greeting each other. and then he turns his head

and sees saeran standing there, blank faced. and before yoosung can force himself to be polite and say hello, saeran just says, deadpan

“your roots are showing”

YOOSUNG IS DONE!! He’s so pissed off!!!!! he fucking knows his roots are showing! he’s been so busy with school that he hasn’t had a chance to touch up his hair in a while. he can’t even bring himself to ignore the comment and try to be nice, he is d-o-n-e.

his face gets so red, and his fists ball up, and his shoulders tense and he explodes

“Saeran, what the HELL did I ever do to you??? Why are you like this? I’ve been nothing but nice since we met, but you’re always so damn rude!! What’s with you? Why can’t we just get along and be friends?”

he’s embarrassed at himself but more pissed off that saeran isn’t saying anything. his expressed has barely changed, but he’s blinking at him and looking maybe just a little confused, tilting his head a bit

nd he’s like.

“we are friends”

yoosung is. So confused. SO FUCKING Confused.

“what? but you hate me!”

“um. no.”

“but you’re always mumbling under your breath that i’m annoying! you say rude things and mock me!”

saeran just. shrugs. avoids eye contact and shove his hands in his pockets. he says “you are annoying” like it’s a fact and kinda. walks away to go do other things

yoosung is left there confused and frustrated but not as mad as he thinks he should be

OK and like? insight into saeran’s side..... saeran’s annoyance w/ yoosung just gradually fades away as he gets better and opens up to people, but he feels weird at first doing a complete 180 and treating yoosung super friendly. part of him also isn’t ready for yoosung’s dramatically cheerful “gosh i KNEW we could be friends” and big hugs and all that

also because.......... he likes seeing yoosung huffy and frustrated. it’s really funny to him. he likes it? a lot more than he probably should to be honest. and at this point he just automatically considers them friends. at least in his mind? idk. his thought process is like “i don’t totally hate them and i think they’re okay to be around so... friend.”

as for the roots comment he made?? it goes a bit deeper than all this fluffy silly stuff. like... for saeran, it’s really easy to trigger flashbacks or panic attacks for him? so many little things remind him of his mom or mint eye, rika, etc. it’s hard... i feel like there’s some vague discomfort he feels around yoosung when he’s reminded about how strongly yoosung cares/cared for rika.

and it’s easy enough to keep it under control because yoosung doesn’t talk about her that much anymore, bbbbbut like. sometimes... saeran remembers someone mentioning that yoosung dyed his hair to be closer to rika. they don’t really look alike (bc she was adopted if i remember correctly?) but the blond hair and the significance behind it can get to him sometimes.

so when yoosungs natural roots start showing he is... really relieved? really happy too tbh. bc he kind of maybe sort of genuinely likes hangin around w yoosung! and now he can see that little sign that he really is his own person, not just some kid who idolizes (idolized?) the person who abused him. ye.

anyways from here on saeyoung probably teases yoosung when yoosung asks him what the Fuck is going on w his brother. he’s like

“lol how did you not notice that he likes being around you? it’s so obvious. he wouldn’t do things like stay in the room while we’re playing games to stare at the back of your head for 3 more seconds if he didn’t like you!! come on, dude.”

(yoosung didnt notice that tho whoops)

and “the teasing or whatever? pissing you off? holy shit dude that makes it even MORE obvious that he’s chill with you”

yoosung stays confused until he decides to talk to saeran about it and they start like. actually having proper conversations. and hanging out. and they both feel pretty awkward at first but their relationship gradually develops until they’re really good friends.

and then eventually, really good boyfriends. whooops.

that’s it’s own post altogether tho so i’ll leave it at that

if ur reading this, thank u for bearing with me thru my rambling. god.

#under a cut but SO FUCKING LOOONG #im? so sorry. holy shit.#yooran #. gh0st blabs #mysme spoilers ?? thats a given

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judithwilde · 7 years

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A Rough Guide to Rivalry

"You can call us Sylvia and Eric or Mom and Dad or Mr and Mrs Wilde. Whatever you're comfortable with," 16-year-old Judy Hopps has been in the foster care system for as long as she could remember, so when a Fox couple decides to adopt her, she cant believe her luck. That feeling is short lived, though, because of a certain Fox she now has to live with.

Judy never really thought of herself as a hero. All she did was help her foster brother from falling out of a tree. The young Cheetah had been so afraid and Judy hadn’t noticed someone was filming. The news framed it as some heartwarming story of predator and prey tensions falling in the younger generations. The articles sounded something like Watch as the cute little Bunny saves a small Cheetah. The younger generation has put aside their differences and we now have hope for the future. She didn’t care so much for being described as cute but she loved being called a hero. She’d spent hours looking at every article and comment, grinning the whole time. Maybe she really could make a difference in the world like all these mammals had been saying. A week later, a family showed up wanting to adopt her.

Adoption. It was a concept Judy had let go of a long time ago. Once someone was past thirteen, there was close to no chance of them getting adopted. Judy was sixteen and only had a year and a half before she aged out. So when a family from over 200 miles away came to adopt her after seeing the news report, Judy was dumbfounded. “You can call us Sylvia and Eric or Mom and Dad or Mr and Mrs Wilde. Whatever you’re comfortable with,” they’d said. They told her that they had a son and other things about themselves. Judy had nodded in response, while telling little about herself in return. She’d been shocked to see that they were Foxes, not only a different species, but predators. It was pretty strange in her mind but, all in all, she was happy to be adopted by anyone.

Judy had tolerated her life. Her foster home gave her food, shelter, and a bed, though she had to share hers with another girl. As long as she did her chores and kept herself out of sight, no one bothered her. She was sad to leave some of the kids she’d spent the past year and a half with but, since she switched homes multiple times, she’d never gotten close enough for any future separation to hurt. She still had some scars from being taken from past foster homes and she never wanted to experience that again. After the papers were signed, the couple simply looked at her with polite smiles and told her about the famous city she’d heard about her entire life. Zootopia was always described as this booming metropolis where everyone was happy and, from Sylvia and Eric’s stories, the ideas seemed true. She instantly liked the middle aged couple who wanted to be her parents. It was scary to believe that she would have a family for the rest of her life, but Judy was a sucker for hope and she always fell into it.

The plane ride had been short and Judy didn’t say much. It almost seemed like a sudden word or movement would make her wake up from the dream she had to be having. She played with her carrot necklace to keep from over thinking. Later, Eric switched seats with her so that Judy could look out the window as they landed. The city looked huge and vibrant. Suddenly, the reality of the situation hit her and Judy felt her eyes grow misty.

“Are you ready, honey?” Sylvia asked her. Judy snapped out of her moment when she heard the term of endearment. Growing up, mammals had always called her pet names to belittle her. Everyone thought Judy was weak when they met her. It was pretty annoying. “Please don’t call me that.” Judy kept her tone casual as the stood to leave the plane.

“What?” Sylvia’s brows drew together in concern.

Judy didn’t want to beat around the bush. “I don’t like nicknames. Just call me Judy.”

Her new parents’ eyes widened. Most were taken aback at how direct and to-the-point Judy could be. She loved the looks of surprise she received when others realized she wasn’t just a timid little Bunny.

“Of course. We understand, Judy,” Eric said, pulling Judy’s small suitcase down.

She couldn’t hold back her smile. “Thanks.” She almost pinched herself. It all seemed to surreal and once they were out of the airport, she actually did. The city didn’t fade away and she didn’t wake up in her bed at her foster home. This was real.

After a long drive full of beautiful sights, they finally reached their neighborhood. Eric and Sylvia showed Judy her room and then gave her a tour of the condo. It was carpeted and had two levels. It wasn’t as nice as the houses the mammals in TV shows tended to live in, but it was nicer than any place Judy had ever stayed at. The fact that she got her own room made her tear up again. Once Judy had seen every part of the condo, she asked to be alone for a while. She liked Sylvia and Eric’s company, but she was used to being alone, and their constant presence was too unfamiliar. They told her that their son would be getting home from school soon and that he was excited to meet her. “We’ll be downstairs if you get hungry,” Eric said before closing the door.

Judy looked around at her her new room. It was mostly bare with a few accents of color. She supposed she’d personalize the room in her own time. The walls were white and the few decorations were too girly for her taste, but they were hers, so she liked them just the same. She had a lamp and a white dresser and desk. The dresser had clothes in it that also didn’t match her preferences. She pulled out a bright yellow sundress that had ruffles at the bottom and realized that the it was made with a younger girl in mind. After searching a bit, Judy found some grey leggings and a T-shirt that made her comfortable when she put it all on. Her bed was in the corner beside a medium sized window that looked out to the grassy area behind the condos. In the distance, past some trees, Judy could see a mailman delivering stacks of papers and kids playing at a small park on the edge of the neighborhood. It wasn’t long before her stomach grumbled. It was past noon and all she’d eaten that day had been a small breakfast and refreshments on the plane.

“Ready to eat?” Sylvia asked once Judy stepped down the stairs. Sylvia had made her a large salad with plenty of carrots and other veggies mixed in. It was too much for Judy to finish and she got through half of it before feeling too full to continue. Sylvia sat across from her, eating a soup with bugs as the protein. Judy hid her disgust. She never understood how predators could stand to eat like that, but she knew it was a biological necessity, so she kept quiet about it.

“What do you think of your room?” Sylvia asked.

“It’s great,” Judy quipped.

“We weren’t sure how to decorate it so we can go to the store later and pick out some things. What do you think of that?” Judy wasn’t used to mammals providing her with more than the basic necessities of living. Judy nodded in response. “We just want you to feel more at home.”

Judy nodded again and a silence fell between them. Sylvia was focused on her soup and wasn’t pressuring her to talk, so it wasn’t awkward. Judy noticed the green grass and blue sky out of the kitchen window and spoke. “I was wondering if I could walk around the neighborhood. It looks really nice out.” Judy was curious about the city and wanted to explore the residential area at least.

“Alone?” Sylvia’s smile tightened slightly, telling Judy that she didn’t like the idea of it. Judy preferred to go alone but wouldn’t mind if someone joined her. Sylvia’s reaction was unexpected though. “I’m sorry. When we were with the social worker, he said that teens adoptions often result in runaways. Especially if the adoption is new. Also, I’d feel better if you weren’t by yourself outside. The city isn’t crime-free, you know.”

“Yeah,” Judy answered. Sylvia stating something so obvious, as if Judy didn’t know crime existed, didn’t sit well with her. She was used to mammals assuming she was a dumb Bunny so it didn’t disappoint her too much. She’d just have to prove Sylvia wrong sometime soon.

“Well maybe Nick will take you. He should be on the way back from soccer practice.”

“Soccer?” While she wasn’t the best, Judy had enjoyed playing the game in her high school’s soccer club. Where she lacked in skill, she made up for in power and speed.

“Do you play?”

“Sometimes.”

“Oh great! Maybe you two can bond over that. The social worker said it’s really important for new siblings to find a common interest. Oh gosh, its like it was meant to be.” Sylvia grinned at Judy as if she were the key to happiness. It made her want to squirm a bit. Just then, the front door opened and closed. Judy couldn’t see any of it, but she heard Eric’s voice in the other room speaking too quietly for Judy to hear.

Sylvia stood up, her eyes bright with excitement. “Come on so you can meet him.” Judy tried to appear calm but she was starting to get nervous. Everytime she had to change foster homes, she’d also change schools, leaving behind the friends she’d made. Soon she learned not to get too close in case she’d have to leave them. Now that she was adopted, she wanted friends that she could keep forever. The possibility of meeting a new one made her ears stiff.

Once she stepped past the archway into the living room, the saw him. He looked around her age, a little older, and covered in dirt and grass stains. He was dressed sporty in sneakers and shorts that came to his knees topped off with red, disheveled fur. In his left arm he held a soccer ball and in his right, a school bag.

Judy looked back at Sylvia who gave an encouraging nod. Judy took a breath and faced Nick. “Hi. I’m Judy.” She gave a small wave and shifted her weight towards Sylvia. For some reason the action made her feel more secure.

Nick’s eyes looked down at the tips of her ears, then to her nervous expression, her teeth biting her lip, then falling to her carrot necklace, her shirt, her leggings, and finally to her foot tapping lightly at the ground. Then he turned to Eric, his father. “You said she’d be here on Tuesday.” Judy’s mouth fell open just a bit at his rebuff.

Eric sighed and shot Judy an apologetic look. “No, we said Monday. Go wash up upstairs and then we’ll have dinner later, alright?” Eric’s words were more of an order than a question. Judy felt some envy in the way Eric held such an authoritative tone in his voice. If Judy could talk like that then no one would underestimate her. Judy still stared open-mouthed as Nick brushed past her and up the stairs. She didn’t understand what she’d done wrong and she replayed the scene in her head a few times to figure it out.

She felt a paw touch her shoulder and saw that it was Sylvia. “Give him time. He might have had a bad day.”

Eric spoke up. “That’s no excuse for him to behave that way. I should go up there and make him-”

“Eric,” Sylvia warned. “He and Judy are going on a walk in the neighborhood. He can introduce himself then. You know he gets shy sometimes.”

Judy almost laughed. If that was shy, she didn’t want to know what actually getting to know him would be like.

#Zootopia #zootopia au #judy x nick #zootopia wildehopps #judy hopps #nick wilde #zootopia fan fiction #zootopia fanfic

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katinterrupted · 4 years

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They should know how sorry I am for all the people I've hurt in my life. My trauma fucked with me and I fucked for control and power. I didn't care who I hurt because I was hurt, I was broken, I was unclean.

I remember the first boy I kissed, in his(maybe his best friends) front yard, while his friend watched and I had NO idea what I was doing. That was in middle school, how old were we?

In elementary school we were suppose to be separated, boys in one room and girls in another, to learn about our changing bodies.. I faked sick that day because I was uncomfortable. I remember fourth(maybe fifth) grade this girl got her period and she had a purse! Other girls were looking in her purse but she wouldn't let me see, I didn't understand. During recess we would hang out by the slides on the play ground and I remember these girls talking, AOL and chat rooms were all the rage, about how people would message them saying, "click here if you want to see my girlfriend and I fuck.." I didn't know what fuck meant.. I said, "yea I click on those all the time.." (LOL) and they snickered and said you're sick, how gross.. I thought it meant fight.. how naive I was..

If you haven't caught on I was an awkward child and didn't really fit in. I didn't have friends and when I thought I had friends they liked my sister or our cats (again LOL) they didn't enjoy my company. I'd always be the butt of jokes or the odd one out. All I wanted was a friend..

I made one. She lived around the block from me and she was as weird and odd as I was. Her family was big and reminded me of mine if we would've been closer in age. Wed hangout everyday. Spend the night at each other's houses. I'm the youngest in my family, the seventh daughter. Her dad called me number seven and I thought I belonged. Her mom was off and never enjoyed me calling her mom, so I'd call her Mrs. First Name. But I'd call Mr. Generic Man Name, dad.

We were friends for two years and their marriage fell apart. Mrs. First Name and dad got a divorce and dad moved to a campground a little ways up north. Her oldest sister would drive us up there to see dad.

It was always so much fun, wed fish, play in the water, walk up to the little shop and buy snacks, grill, etc. All the things to pass by time, at least we got to have fun as a family again. Dad would be in his whitey tightys, but MY dad did that too so it was fine right.. he would always be close to me, but he was like that with all of us.

I was 11/12. We went to visit dad and he let us sit on his lap and steer the car at night while sitting on his lap.

*had to take a breather here, my heart started racing and I couldn't breathe*

I can't remember who went first, but dad was driving.. L and M were in the car too.. it was my turn and I was super excited. I couldn't remember the last time I sat on my parents lap to drive.. his left hand stroked my leg and squeezed, I tensed because I wasnt expecting it.

*had to call my husband in to calm me down, I was shaking and couldn't catch my breath*

His left hand explored my thigh, did I twitch? His fingers were now between my legs.. moving, exploring.. I never felt that before. Then we were back at the camper, I can't remember what else happened.

My friend moved in with her dad and went to a new school and made a new friend. Wed talk on the phone all the time, she would always be with her. I'd still get to go visit her and dad with everyone on the weekends.

She made a new and exciting friend. They were closer than wed ever been and her friend flashed a guy that offered her money. They talked about bjs and sex and I was clueless. "Man shes so cool," "I'm going to lose my best friend," were thoughts that would cross my mind. I only ever kissed a one boy and no ones even touched my boob yet.

I met a boy who I wanted to let touch my chest, we watched tv and cuddled. This would be the third boy I kissed and he was SO good at it. We made out and he groped my chest, I felt a tingle.. what's this? It was familiar, but felt wrong. He went under my shirt played with my nipples, I was trembling.. I felt how stiff he was through his jeans, he slid his hand down, above my pants between my legs. He wasn't suppose to touch me there! I moved his hand up so hed stop. He kept going. It felt so good, but wait.. my mind was racing..

I knew this feeling..

I was steering the car..

But I was family.. he was like my second dad..

He tried to unbutton my pants, I asked him to stop, my mind was still going.. he tried to put his hand down my pants without unbuttoning them this time and I grabbed his hand and said you should go.. he left angry and I remember watching him walk away, still confused about what was going on.

What was going on?

I went to my room and cried.. what happened.. how did he know to do that.. was it suppose to feel that good.. WHAT WAS HAPPENING?????

I'm not sure when I realized a man that i trusted, that my parents had trusted, that treated me like a daughter, that I called dad, molested me.

1. My first time having sex I was 13. The words that came out of my mouth were, "I just want to get it over with," it hurt so bad

2. The second boy(we were children) I had sex with we were both 13, our birthdays were only days apart. He invited me over for a cinco de mayo party. I took his virginity in his basement bathroom. We dated and I hurt him

3. I had drunken sex with another boy who had just kissed his girlfriend goodnight moments before. I played stupid. Like I was the victim. I enjoyed doing it in the open it was exhilarating

4. There was another boy who was a thug. He kept me on my toes and I'd sneak him through my bedroom window while his mom delivered the news. I cut up everything I had of his

5. I met a boy, cute as a button. He liked to work on cars and we cuddled all night while my friend fucked his friend in his sisters bedroom. We kissed.

6. Button boy invited me to his friends house to party, I proceeded to get hammered and had sex for four hours with the guy who's house it was. He ended up being my first love and I ruined it. I fucked him up emotionally.

7. There was a boy I had a crush on who jumped from the roof of my friends garage. I had THE biggest crush on him. He invited me to hangout with his cousins, he fucked me in the door way of his bathroom in his bedroom. Mistake #1. I was feeling hopeless.

8. Went to CA with my family and met a bunch of marines across the way from us. Mistake #2 We were walking to the beach I made him follow me into an alley and pushed me against the wall.

9. He said he wasnt with his baby momma anymore, he lied. We did it in his friends minivan outside of my house, down the street, outside of a Halloween party, in the laundry room, I think I only liked him because I wasnt suppose to

10. We worked together and his dick was big, his face was hit

11. He had a girlfriend, we fucked in his basement

12. I asked him to stop when he was too big, there was blood on my bed and he laughed and left

13. The shaft was crooked, but he could drive a stick

14. When I was young my friends sister was suppose to baby sit us but she wanted to meet these boys, we went over there and this guy kept throwing me over his shoulder and taking me to a dark room and closing the door, m friend stepped in and told her sister we needed to go

15. We were naked in his bed on the second floor, I watched his exgirlfriend climb through the window and he climbed over me to go talk to her

16. There was skull vodka on top of his fridge and an AR under his bed

17. In his charger, he got me pregnant when I told him I didn't want to be with him anymore, I got an abortion and he stalked me for a while, I was scared a lot of the time. We shared trauma so we were together for a minute, he got me through some rough times

18. Can't remember how we met, but his spit on my pussy and I felt like a porn star

19. He was tall and strong and could spin me around no problem

20. I sat on my friends lap at a house party, he was the only one I thought I trusted. He stuck his hands down my pants and I hit him with a right hook off the porch

21. He wasn't interested in me and I like the chase, he didn't know I was in a relationship when it happened

22. We walked to meet each other and had sloppy whatever that was in the bedroom while there was a party in the basement

23. I went to his house because he was cute and rode a crotch rocket, he was rough and I kept telling him no. He didn't talk to me after that

24. Won a game of beer pong and he said he wanted to kiss me. We were FWB for three years

25. I gave his dick a heat rash from all the dry humping we did, he always made me squirt

26. I think we got take out and fucked by accident, cant remember it, but I know it happened

27. Used this guy only to get mine and then I'd leave, sorry about that one

28. At MSU I had sex with this guy in a walk in closet, he ignored me and I called his phone over 52 times

29. Made out at the park, would've gone farther if the cops didn't ask us to leave

30. He was the bigger twin, not impressive

31. Helped demo your late uncles house and you bent me over the couch in the other room

32. You couldn't keep it up and I laughed in your face and said I hope this doesnt happen with everyone

33. I didn't want to be alone anymore, was with a guy who peed on his brothers shoes, in the dresser (often,) on a window sill, his pores let off booze.. disgusting

34. He was almost 30, he wanted more and I didn't

35. Met on scout, you were a UofM fan, I wore MSU sweats over and your brother almost kicked me out, we only made out and then you were a dick when I didn't want more

36. Your bedroom walls were sheets, this is what a brothel must feel like

37. Shit house drunk and didn't realize it was your brother, your resemblance was uncanny

38. The only person I went skinny dipping with and then hit up TB drive through and walked into my house naked

39. Woke up and you were kissing my thighs, you realized I woke up and went straight for it. Haven't woken up to sex in a long time

40. Made out with a guido in his bathroom, he had braces

41. MDMA and I was completely inside of the couch, no idea how that happened. Another time I came over and was about to walk in the house. There was a cat by the door who I'd let inside. We smoked and laid in the living room. You said you didn't have a cat when it came out from behind the curtains

42. Completely unsure of how it happened, but ended up with you a few times when I thought I was going to see someone else.. oops

43. You'd always come with me to walk my dog, had a crush on you and never thought anything would happen. I liked you and you missed your ex

44. Walked to the closet 711, a man commented on my body I say ooooookay and he followed me around while threatening me, the guy behind the counter said I was about the press the panic button after the guy left, he was skin and bones. I was 14

45. You had your med card, I met up at your sorority. You said you and your gf had an open relationship, I never knew if you were serious

46. Only guy to put me in cuffs

47. I remember we met upon the back of a parking lot and did bump after bump, we got a motel room and you did them off my body. We sat naked in the bathtub. You couldn't keep it up. I watched you leave in the morning.. I saw your wife and kids within the next few weeks

48. A guy grabbed me at the club, right by the waist and started grinding on my behind. I turned around and pushed him away by putting my hand in his face. I was so glad I was short in the crowd and got away, he was scary mad

*I got lost looking out the window, theres a tree that slightly moves in the wind and snow covering the ground.. I'm listening to the laundry that needs to be finished*

49. My car went to shit and I met at auto repair to talk about the cheapest options. It was summer I was in my running shorts and baggy tshirt. I watched him lick his lips when he asked me if I worked out.. "I can tell by your legs," looking back now, my ITB were just tight because I didn't know how to stretch them correctly. He was 30 years older than me

50. I walked by you to get into the kitchen, you were sitting in a chair near the door way. You grabbed me by the inner thigh and grazed my vagina. I screamed at you in front of all who were there. No ones ever did that to you before

51. Up at MSU we went to a frat party and when we were all walking up(down?) the stairs a buy was sitting there grabbing/slapping asses as they walked by. I put my hand in his face and slammed his head into the wall. People weren't happy, but I didnt give you consent to touch my body. I'm not yours

52. There was a pistons game we went to, you were an asshole in the parking lot as we were leaving. I thought the people were going to pull a gun on all of us. We all drank and I said I was going to sleep on the couch. You kept getting closer to me, putting your hands on me.. I told you I'm not interested, I really need to sleep on your couch. You looked distressed, said okay and apologized, thank you

53. I was lonely and came over. You were on top of me saying dirty things and your own name.. I still laugh about how weird that was

*when I started the numbered I was trying to remember people I had slept with. But then abuse would come back into my mind and I thought I should put it in. For the ones who say boys will be boys or they're just having fun.. YOU'RE THE PROBLEM.

54. I had eaten an edible and became one with your couch, you took me up to your room and tucked me into bed. In the morning I wake up and you were sleeping downstairs on the couch, you said you snore fucking loud, thank you

55. We got TB on the way back to your house, you asked the guy at the window if he smoked tree and threw him a bag. When you were on top of me I felt the hole in your ribs, I hated everything that moment and didn't know what I was doing or why on earth I was there. We both have babies now. I can't remember who you were with but you took my hand and looked at my ring. With the largest smile and saddest eyes, your eyes were always sad and I never noticed, you said, "congratulations.. I'm so happy for you.. no I'm serious," you gave me a big hug, "you deserve to be happy." Have you always been as broken as I was?

56. We went out to celebrate my sisters boyfriends birthday. I was sitting right next to you and you told me the guy sitting across from you kept looking at my chest, I never knew I could ask someone to stop something I never happened to see

57. Took a late night trip to meijer. I didn't have a bra on, I was wearing an oversized tshirt and I asked an employee where something was, he kept looking at my chest, I pointed from my chest to my face. His cheeks turned rosey and scurried away

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