#I’ll be studying for and taking the MCAT soon | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

winsmoke · 2 years

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𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝟐𝟎-𝐘𝐞𝐚𝐫-𝐎𝐥𝐝 𝐕𝐢𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐧

Acclaimed photographer and virgin extraordinaire, Jaemin finds himself crushing hard on a girl working at a pizza shop. And by some miracle, they’re hiring for the summer.

⊹ 𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐂𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 7.4k ⊹ 𝐏𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 female pizza chef y/n x virgin photographer Jaemin ⊹ 𝐆𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞 virgin au, college au, fluff, smut, angst ⊹ 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 swearing, kissing, blowjob, university acceptance anxieties, unprotected sex ⊹ 𝐀𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫’𝐬 🦷 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞 I’ve been working on this fic for eight months and I’m very proud of how the story and writing has evolved. I really wanted to show the delicacy and sugar rushes in a relationship. Thank you so much for reading. ⊹ 𝐋𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬 pt. 1 | pt. 2 | pt. 3 | disclaimer | masterlist

　“Why are you staring at me,” you grumble. The paper cup holding your oolong tea was choking under your stubby fingernails. Crossing your legs tightly under the wooden library desk, you try to ease the building pressure between your thighs.

　It had been weeks since Jaemin had confessed to you and you had yet to talk about it. But you couldn’t avoid him because he had the same shifts as you and worse, you liked it. His calm demeanor had somehow charmed you.

　So when he asked if you wanted to study together, you couldn’t seem to turn him down. You keep finding yourself with him in various cafes and libraries with endless cups of oolong tea that Jaemin stubbornly pays for. You confess that it was nice having a composed presence while you frantically wrote and edited poems to submit for your graduate school applications. But his lip biting and long fingers could only keep you concentrated for so long.

　“I like watching you,” Jaemin confesses, his MCAT prep book forgotten under his twitching fingers. Good job idiot, you sound like a creep now.

　What did he just say?? You raise the cup to your lips, and eagerly gulp down the lukewarm liquid, trying to contain the violent twisting in your stomach. You look down as you wipe your lips and mutter, “I’m just writing.”

　“It’s just interesting to hear you read bits of your poetry out loud since you refuse to let me read anything.” Jaemin internally wipes his brow as a look of understanding and relief washes over your face.

　 “Uh, yeah. Well, it’s shit so I’m not showing you anytime soon.” Lowering the brightness of your laptop, you angle the screen away from Jaemin’s direction.

　Jaemin nods rigidly, urgently willing the boner under his notebook to die down. Needless to say, your long sighs and moans of frustration while writing had an impact on him.

　“Besides, you won’t let me see any of your photos,” you point out.

　Flinching, Jaemin looks away. “That’s different,” he mutters.

　At first, Jaemin was surprised to learn that you hadn’t already googled his photography which was widely available in various art and news publications. He shouldn’t be so protective of his work, especially because a photographer should want their pictures to be seen. But he can’t help but think all of his photos are private. And you somehow seemed to understand.

　“How?” you press.

　Thinning his lips, he mumbles, “They’re just–ah–not ready yet.”

　“You’re paid thousands to take pictures. I think that means they’re ready for me to see,” you grumble.

　A small smile curves up Jaemin’s pinched lips. “I’ll show you when you show me.”

　Huffing, you angle your laptop even further away from Jaemin and jerk your chair into the leg of the table. “Fine. You’re just going to have to wait until I get published then.”

　“Looking forward to it,” he responds softly, his piercing stare making you retreat your eyes to the safety of your screen.

　You swallow the whine creeping up your throat. Even though you enjoyed these study sessions with Jaemin, being so close to him was not helping your wet dreams. And keeping your legs tightly crossed to alleviate the burn between your thighs could only do so much.

　“So, um, what are your plans after you graduate?” Jaemin asks as casually as possible.

　Does he want to know if he’ll still see me? Nope, don’t put that idea into existence.

　“All I want is to continue writing... so I’m just applying to a bunch of MFA creative writing programs.

　“Out of state or in-state?”

　“Out,” you respond immediately. “Anywhere is better than here. I’m so sick of…” You pause to collect your thoughts. You don’t want to overshare. “What about you?”

　Jaemin shoves his MCAT book closed so you can see the cover. “Can’t you tell?” he snaps. Glancing at your raised brows, Jaemin’s shoulders sag as he sinks into his chair. “Med school for me. If I even get in.”

　“That sounds horrible.”

　“Well, it’s what my mom wants, so I don’t have a choice.”

　You nod slowly as guilt creeps up your chest. His dull expression says it all. You think you understand now.

　How could I be so stupid? He’s not in town for me. He’s here to study.

　“Look, I’m sorry for kinda being a bitch to you,” you say quietly.

　Jaemin laughs. “You’re not, I promise. We’re friends.”

　Friends. The word burns down his throat. He’s strangely resigned to the fact you don’t want to discuss his feelings for you. It seems you don’t quite trust him, which is why he’s trying not to push anything. Even though he sees you almost every day. Even though you look at him in a way that leaves him breathless.

　“But what about photography?” you ask, dragging Jaemin out of his thoughts.

　Jaemin hesitates. “I’ll take fewer jobs.”

　“But why? I mean, it must be amazing to be flown out to anywhere in the world.” you sigh dreamily, settling your chin into your hands. “The last time I left town was two summers ago. I went to California and wrote an ode to Yosemite like George Sterling. That place is surreal.”

　Jaemin laughs as he pictures you scribbling furiously on a rock. “Actually I’ve photographed Yosemite before. It was definitely impressive…” Jaemin rubs the back of his neck. But a little lonely.

　“I would give anything to go on one of your trips,” you groan as your gaze sinks back into your laptop.

　Jaemin bites his lip, disappointed that your attention has already wandered away. “Me too,” he whispers.

　“You wanna, I don’t know… get some dinner or something?” You tug at your ear, hoping your expression doesn’t look too desperate or anxious.

　The two of you study together every day now. With the school semester soon approaching, you’ll have less time to prepare for applications during college. But you’re not sure if you’re there to be productive or to spend more time with him. Between working at the pizza shop and your library sessions, you don’t think you’ve gone without seeing him for more than 9 hours. You’re not one to spend this much time with anyone but his company is… comforting.

　Disgusting.

　“Yeah,” Jaemin gulps, trying to swallow down the leaping feeling in his chest. Trying to shove one of his prep books into his canvas bag, he smiles at you. “That’d be cool.”

　It doesn’t matter that his MCAT is tomorrow at 8 a.m. If he knows it, he knows it.

　“You good?” you ask as Jaemin continues trying to jam his book into the bag.

　“It’s getting caught on something,” Jaemin grumbles. Successfully finding the strap that was catching the corner of the book, he gives you an overwhelmed smile. “I don’t usually carry around bags… but dinner?” he prompts again, hoping he didn’t ruin the moment.

　“Right,” you respond quietly, briefly closing your eyes to get the image of his flustered smile out of your head. “Wanna get ramen or pho?”

　Jaemin laughs. “In the middle of summer?”

　You shrug. “I’m feeling noodle soup.”

　Jaemin nods. He would say yes to anything you suggest. “Pho sounds good. You know a place?”

　“Yeah… uhh but I don’t have a car so…” You fiddle with the straps of your backpack nervously. Glancing down at his bulky rose gold watch circled with grain-sized crystals, you wonder how many cars you could buy with such a watch.

　“Neither do I, can we walk?”

　Always a surprise.

　Nodding, you type the name of your restaurant into Google maps and begin heading in the right direction.

　Falling into a comfortable silence, your gaze slowly falls to his hands swaying by his side. You’ve never been much of a hand holder but with Jaemin, anything was tempting. His fingers were thin and long, just as you had imagined…

　“What’s your body count?” you blurt out.

　“Huh?” He looks bewildered. What is it with you and these personal questions?

　“Nothing,” you mutter, unwilling to repeat the question again.

　“Y/n,” Jaemin laughs. “You know me pretty well—”

　“No, I don’t,” you scoff. You’ve only known him for a few weeks. A month at best.

　“—Do you see me with many girls?”

　“Just because I don’t see the girls doesn’t mean they exist,” you huff.

　“I go to work. I study. I eat and sleep. Repeat,” Jaemin shrugs.

　Maybe a month ago, Jaemin would be nervous telling you how plain his life was. But you’ve been with him every day for a while now. If you hadn’t gotten bored of him yet, well… he had you. Or at least he’s close. Hopefully.

　“Your life can’t be that simple.”

　“It is. But to answer your question, zero.”

　You fold your lips, trying to contain a pleased expression. But then you realize– “You’re a virgin?” I’ve been fantasizing about a virgin?

　Jaemin glances between your bulging eyes and raised hands. “Is it really that bad?”

　Realizing how you must look, you relax your body and mutter a quick, “No.” You mumble an apology and look at your feet guiltily. “I’m just shocked…you are, ya know…kinda perfect.”

　Jaemin shakes his head in confusion. “I’m really not. Far from it.”

　You nod enthusiastically. “Yes you are! Even though I boss you around at the pizza shop or I can tell you’re exhausted, you’re always kind and patient and–”

　Jaemin snorts. “Only with you.”

　Warmth blossoming in your chest, you try to force the gleeful feeling down but you can’t help it. An enormous smile surfaces onto your lips. And Jaemin can’t look away.

　A flush surges over his neck and up to his ears. Jaemin can’t help blushing when you’re looking at him like he's the only person that matters. It’s moments like these where he really thinks you might return his feelings. Jaemin glances down at his feet before smiling shyly.

　“You're really pretty,” Jaemin compliments sheepishly.

　The two of you are standing a stride away from the sidewalk but neither one of you budges from the empty street. Under the dim light of a streetlamp, the two of you are folded in your own world.

　“O-oh, you’re, you’re pretty too” you sputter idiotically.

　“You mean handsome?” Jaemin offers.

　You shake your head. “No, I stand by my statement. You’re ridiculously pretty.”

　“Uh, thanks?” Jaemin laughs. “But you’re much prettier than me.”

　“No really, sometimes I wonder why you even bother with me…”

　You gulp, feeling your face burn with embarrassment. You haven’t wanted to admit it to yourself but you’re insecure. The more time you spend with Jaemin, the more you like him. But there’s always that irritating voice that reminds you that you’re a very broke and struggling writer. How could you compare to a globally successful photographer?

　Jaemin frowns, his hand is reaching for you to reassure you but he stops. The two of you haven’t established physical contact yet.

　Stepping directly in front of you, he waits for your eyes to meet his before speaking. “I think you’re incredible. I’m gonna sound stupid but I honestly haven’t stopped thinking about you since we met.”

　Your lips parted in surprise, they look swollen and irresistible to Jaemin. Before his mind can stop him, he’s leaning towards you. Stopping inches from your lips, Jaemin wants to kiss you so badly. He wants to show you how much he wants you, but he’ll wait a second more.

　He smells so good. You can’t help yourself, he’s so close and his eyes are closed. Jaemin’s jaw is clenched as if restraining himself. But you won’t be the one to stop him.

　Leaning in slowly, you gently suck his bottom lip. A tiny breath releases from Jaemin’s nose and his hands fall to your waist. Raising your hands to his neck, your kiss becomes more firm.

　His lips are so soft and you can’t seem to get enough. Your tongue starts wandering and when it rubs against his, a hot feeling shoots between your folds. He’s pulling you closer, groaning quietly at the feeling of your chest pressed against his but there are too many layers and not enough skin. Jaemin is tugging at your shirt, trying to untuck it from your jeans but his hands are too weak, he’s lost in your warm lips and soft pants.

　The door to the Vietnamese restaurant bursts open and full customers sluggishly lumber to their cars. They’re too sleepy to notice you two reluctantly pulling apart.

　Realizing you’re still on the street, you pull Jaemin up onto the sidewalk. Now that your hand is in his, you can’t seem to let go.

　“Hungry?” you ask breathlessly.

　“Very,” he breathes.

　Being with you but not being with you at the same time is fucking with Jaemin’s head. And he’s never been happier.

　Yes, there is no label on your relationship but Jaemin knows you care about him. Even if you refuse to tell him.

　When university began, you convinced Jaemin to actually attend his classes. Despite hating his near-perfect attendance (whatever happened to the senior slump?), his grades have never been higher. With your help in his personal statements and a satisfactory MCAT score, Jaemin feels somewhat confident he would be accepted into at least one of the medical schools he applied to. With luck, you will be accepted into the same school’s MFA program.

　Although the two of you are inseparable, when it comes down to it, it’s a relationship out of convenience. The two of you have the same job, the same work hours, and the same college schedules. If the two of you are accepted into different graduate schools, Jaemin doubts you will continue seeking him out. He even quietly declines every photography job to continue seeing you every day. Fragile or not, he’s determined to keep your relationship as it is.

　Having declined a job offer before heading to your apartment, Jaemin’s body was urging him to reach for his camera and Uber to the airport. Grabbing his camera anyways, Jaemin resolved that he would settle the hunger in a different way.

　“Let me take pictures of you,” Jaemin announces as you open the door to your apartment.

　You immediately begin closing the door on his wide smile. “You’re asking to get thrown out.”

　Jaemin forces his way through the door before you can snip off a finger and pulls you into a hug. Rubbing his cheek against yours, he begs, “Y/n, please! Just a few!”

　“Absolutely not. You’ll take a picture of my corpse before you take a picture of me alive,” you deadpanned, unmoving in his arms.

　Pressing his lips against yours, Jaemin sighs contently as you immediately part your lips. Freshly showered, he breathes in the faint smell of your conditioner and lotion. Placing his camera bag on your kitchen island, he slowly backs you up to the couch. Eyes halfway closed, his hands eventually grapple for the couch arm and he sits down, pulling you down in the process.

　As you straddle Jaemin, your lips not parting with his, he moans happily. Why bother traveling the world when your body is his favorite place.

　“But I want to take pictures of you,” he whines into your ear before licking and sucking your neck.

　“You just miss taking jobs,” you groan as his kisses lower to your shirt line.

　Jaemin’s hands creep up your back, and after a ten-second struggle, manage to undo your bra clip. His fingers are cold against your skin but you’re so hot, you feel like you’re burning. As his hands inch up your stomach, you suck in your breath. You don’t want slow, you want his fingers, his mouth on your nipples, on your neck, in your pussy.

　“Maybe a little,” Jaemin acknowledges. He cowardly raises his lips back to your mouth, your untouched nipples throbbing for attention.

　“Take a job,” you say as you break the kiss, licking down his neck.

　Lifting his shirt, you pull his shoulders sideways so he’s laying on the couch and begin licking down his warm and hardened chest. When you suck his nipples, you can feel his dick prominent through his sweatpants. But it’s when your lips touch below his belly button that Jaemin can’t suppress his moans.

　“I–I don’t wanna le-leave you for too l-long,” Jaemin stammers as you raise the waistband of his sweats and boxers and pull them down. “I’d be gone for at least a week.”

　“Hmm,” you hum disappointed. You don’t like the idea of being away from him that long but it bothers you more that you’re the reason why he hasn’t taken a job.

　Not picking up his fully erect dick from his stomach, you lightly lick his dick. Smooth and thick, it drags slightly across his stomach as you lick it without steadying it with your hands.

　“In, please, in,” Jaemin requests desperately.

　Taking his dick in hand, you patiently raise your head. “Only if you–”

　“Fine, fine! I will,” Jaemin gasps.

　“Okay, good,” you grin happily.

　Lowering your lips, you lather your saliva across the surface of his cock with your tongue. Spitting into your palm, you pump him a few times before putting his dick into your mouth. Wrapping your lips over your teeth, you push his cock to the back of your throat. Feeling him grow a little more in your mouth, your saliva builds and you easily bounce your head up and down.

　“Fuck…fuck…it feels so good…” Jaemin moans.

　He strains his neck up with great difficulty, lips wet and parted as he watches you swallow his cock over and over again. Every ten seconds, he drops his head back onto the couch to let out a moan and more mindless words. You can feel Jaemin’s hips flatten onto the couch as he tries to keep himself from thrusting down your throat. Narrowing the space between your cheeks and his dick, you move your mouth faster down his cock, closing your eyes as you chase the base of his cock.

　Jaemin’s hands move to your damp forehead and weigh down your head. Taking sharp breaths through your nose, you propel yourself further down his length, your nose barely brushing over a patch of black hair at the base of his dick. You’re too focused on telling yourself not to choke and throw up to hollow your cheeks anymore. Your jaw fully stretched and your gag reflex over-exerted, you internally beg him to cum.

　“Shit, I–I’m gonna cum,” Jaemin groans pushing your head down a little more.

　You choke as his dick pulses in your throat, shooting down bitter cum. When his hand raises from your forehead, you raise your mouth and slump on Jaemin’s side, wheezing and coughing. The two of you lay panting for a minute before you wrap your arms around Jaemin’s neck, your damp head resting on his shoulder. Glancing down his chest, his sweats and underwear remain halfway down his legs and his cock is still bulging on his stomach.

　“How,” you heave, “how are you still hard?”

　Jaemin shakily laughs. “I dunno. But I can’t feel my lips…or my hands.”

　“Oh…”

　Hugging Jaemin tighter, you hide your prideful grin in his shoulder.

　You wait for his questions — Was that your first blow job? Have you had sex before? Have you been with anyone before me? But they never come. You get the feeling that Jaemin is only interested in the now. Thinking back to how you asked him his body count a month or so ago, you wish you had held in that insecure question. But you couldn’t help it, Jaemin was too pretty, too perfect.

　“So, when will you go?” you ask, trying to chase away those thoughts.

　Jaemin rubs a hand down his sweaty face. Now. I want to leave now. “I’ll take a job when the semester ends.”

　You can’t help but feel hurt by how content he looks. But you’re the one who suggested he leave. “Where do you wanna go?”

　“Anywhere,” Jaemin sighs dreamily. “Anywhere is better than here.”

　Rolling off Jaemin, you turn on your side.

　“Y/n? … No, no. I didn’t mean it like that.”

　“No, you’re right. Anywhere is better than here.”

　“Hey y/n,” Renjun greets eagerly.

　Pausing your sudoku game, you quickly set your phone down on the cash register. “Renjun…hey.”

　His eyebrows raise. “You know my name?”

　You look at him incredulously. “You’re one of Jaemin’s best friends. Why wouldn’t I know your name?”

　“Kinda doubted Jaemin would talk about me. Plus I’ve never really met you.”

　“Yeah,” you bite your lip guiltily. “Sorry, I know Jaemin hasn’t hung out with his friends much since we started working together.”

　Renjun grins. “Are you kidding? I’ve seen him at university like every day! He must really like you for him to actually come to class.”

　You rub your chin with discomfort. “Uh, I guess.”

　“Where is he by the way?” Jaemin glances at the kitchen window.

　“Somewhere in Venezuela for a job,” you shrug.

　“Oh,” Renjun’s shoulders deflate in disappointment. “I never know if he’s not answering my texts because he’s out of the country or if he’s just avoiding human interaction. He’s such an introvert,” Renjun laughs.

　“Not necessarily,” you frown, feeling defensive. It feels like you’ve spent an endless amount of days with Jaemin and not once has he struck you as introverted. Quiet perhaps, but even when he’s working, he always tries to draw you into a conversation.

　“Well, obviously he’s different around you. But I see Jaemin once a month if I’m lucky.”

　You nod slowly, not sure how to respond.

　Sensing your discomfort, Renjun begins backing to the door. “Well, can you pass on my congrats to Jaemin? I bet he answers your texts.”

　You scrunch your eyebrows. “Congrats for what?”

　Renjun’s expression brightens. “Jaemin might win a Pulitzer! Some of his photos were published alongside some groundbreaking news article a week ago and everyone is saying he’s sure to be at least a finalist. I always knew he was an incredible photographer but geesh - a Pulitzer, I mean that’s crazy.” Noticing your dumbfounded face, Renjun frowns. “Wait, he didn’t tell you?”

　“No,” you say as you shake your head. “He didn’t tell me anything.”

　Hey Jaemin, you type out into iMessage.

　Hmm, capital letters seem too official.

　You hold down the back key.

　hey jaemin

　I was wondering if we could talk?

　Fuck, just send it.

　After hitting send, you immediately lock your phone and roll onto your back. Your apartment ceiling blanketed by the night greets you. Scratching away some dried flour on your forehead, you groan softly.

　“I can’t just wait,” you tell your ceiling.

　Although unmoving, it seemed to agree with you.

　Sluggishly heaving yourself out of bed, you reluctantly turn on your kitchen lights and begin boiling some water.

　Once you and Jaemin transitioned from cafés to your apartments, he brought you a new oolong tea box every week. One of your cupboards held the various containers, sorted by shape, size, and color. He even bought you oolong tea candles.

　Rolling some of the oxidized plant into a tea bag, you slowly bounce it in and out of your steaming mug. As you sip your tea, the usual warm feeling of comfort doesn’t settle in your chest. Glancing back at your darkened bedroom where your phone lies, you wait for Jaemin’s text to brighten the room.

　Nothing.

　You wait till all the tea has been downed.

　Still nothing. Just an empty bedroom with a useless phone.

　Scratching off more flour from your forehead, you tell yourself you’ll get a text after you shower.

　Grabbing your phone, you begin peeling off your clothes as you head to the bathroom. No matter how hard you turn the handle, the water can’t get hot enough. About halfway through scrubbing your body, you give up. You need to look. Wrapping a towel around your body, you carefully dry your hands and then reach for your phone.

　Your heart almost leaps out of your chest when you see a notification. But it’s not a text, it’s an email. An email from Columbia University School of the Arts. Your top choice.

　Quivering legs bring you back to the kitchen. With your towel tightly wrapped around your chest, you boil more water and dip another tea bag. When your mouth finds the curve of the cup, no noise comes from your sipping lips. You open the email on your phone and cover your eyes with your hands.

　Peeking through your fingers, you read:

Dear Y/N,

The Committee on Admissions has carefully reviewed your application and we are very sorry to inform you that we cannot offer you a place in Columbia University MFA Writing Program.

　You don’t bother reading the next sentence.

　You delete the email and open your text messages. Blinking slowly, you examine your screen.

　Green. Your two texts to Jaemin have turned green.

　You open your phone app. In the Recents, Na Jaemin is listed on every single line. You could scroll all the way down and it would only be his name. Clicking on his name, it rings and rings and rings.

　You gulp down your oolong tea and pour more hot water into your mug.

　Your phone lights up.

　Clicking on the bubbled rectangle, you realize it’s another admissions email.

Dear Y/N,

On behalf of the Faculty Committee, I thank you for your interest in our MFA for Writers and Poets at the University of Massachusetts Amherst. I am sorry to say that we are not able to invite you to begin the program next semester.

　Delete.

　You call Jaemin again.

　Nothing.

　You boil more water and grab more tea bags. You haven’t eaten much today. After Renjun had visited you at work, you didn’t feel like eating. The caffeine in the tea is making your veins pulse and your fingers twitch. But still you sip.

　You call Jaemin again. It rings until you can’t bear hearing the sound anymore.

　Your phone lights up.

　Another rejection email and more silence.

　There’s no room for anything else but silence.

　“How was your trip?” you ask, not hiding the bitterness in your voice.

　You were closing the pizza shop tonight. A greasy tower of pizza trays, containers, and kitchen tools was stacked next to the sink and this was the last thing preventing you from going home and staring at your black ceiling for another three hours. And now, there was a boy with newly dyed hair standing in your way too.

　Jaemin steps next to you at the sink. The excitement in seeing you again quickly melts into concern. He knows something’s up. He raises his hand to your cheek to wipe away a streak of flour but he thinks better of it and sighs in defeat. “Pretty shitty.”

　With your hands grinding the foaming sponge into a plastic lid, you raise your eyebrows without raising your eyes. “Really.”

　Running a frustrated hand through his hair, Jaemin tries not to groan. “Yeah.”

　It was one the tip of your tongue, Take any pretty pictures? You wanted to know so badly if the photos he took were worth leaving you for. But you feared what he would ask for in return.

　Before he had left, Jaemin had promised to show you the photos he took when he flew back from Venezuela and in exchange, you would read him some of your poetry. But as you looked at him now, you couldn’t help but wonder - what could you read to him? Poems so uninspiring and dull that would never leave your journals or laptop? Poems so meaningless and boring that weren’t good enough for any writing program?

　“I missed–”

　“No,” you shake your head while slamming your palms over your ears. “I don’t want to hear it.”

　“You don’t want to hear that I miss you?”

　You shake your head harder, the nails of your fingers digging into your ear. You’re angry, no, infuriated, that Jaemin was gone when you most needed him. “Nope.”

　Jaemin frowns as he tries yanking your hands away from your ears. “Why, tell me why.”

　Slipping away from his grasp, you turn away. You’re blinking too fast but you swallow hard to prevent the tears. You don’t want to accept your failure but there’s nothing else to say.

　“I—I got rejected,” you whisper. “From every writing program I applied to…So, I’m stuck here.”

　Of course, you wanted to get out of this fucking job and town and continue writing poetry somewhere far more wonderful than here but there was something else. A part of you thought, maybe if you were accepted into graduate school, you would be somewhat on the same level as Jaemin. Then whatever was happening between you two could make some sense. But no, you’re too stupid, too plain, and much too insignificant to be worthy of someone like Jaemin.

　Jaemin sits next to you, looking flabbergasted. “How could they not accept you. I read your personal statements and application essays, and they blew my mind. You’re overqualified.”

　“Clearly not,” you choke. “I’m going to be in debt, stuck making pizzas forever while you’re becoming a surgeon–”

　“That’s not true,” Jaemin interrupts sharply. “I was rejected too,” he glares at you as your expression softens.

　“You were rejected?” you echo.

　Jaemin looks at his feet. “Yup. From all the med schools I applied to.”

　“When—when did you find out?” you ask slowly.

　“I only had access to wifi for like an hour while I was buying food in the capitol. When I sat in Starbucks, I was hit with rejection email after rejection email. Then…” Jaemin stops to support his head with his hands. “Then my mom called me,” his voice tightens before he turns his reddened eyes to you, “What was I supposed to say to her? Sorry I didn’t get into any of the ten medical schools I applied for? Sorry I couldn’t achieve the one thing she asked of me?”

　You wrap your arms around his shoulders and he buries his face into your neck. “I—I’m so sorry Jaemin.”

　“Anyways,” Jaemin sniffs as he wipes away a few stray tears, “I didn’t take any photos worth your pretty face.” He tries to chuckle but it’s strangled.

　You narrow your eyes. You remember your anger again. “What about that Pulitzer prize-winning photo?”

　What? Jaemin leans back to better examine your face.

　Impatient with his silence, you take a step back. All the insecurity and uncertainty have been rooted so deeply in your relationship with Jaemin. Because ... you love Jaemin. You think you always have, in a way. And despite his obvious adoration, you fear that you’re not enough.

　“Why the hell do you like me Jaemin?”

　Jaemin glares at you.

　“What kind of question is that? Think about it… why the hell do you like me?”

　You’re falling onto the freshly mopped floor. For some reason, you can’t stand being on your feet anymore. You bring your knees to your chin, soapy hands covering your eyes. You’re so tired.

　“I don’t know,” you whisper. “I just do.”

　Jaemin quickly sits beside you, wrapping himself around you. “Well, now you know how I feel.”

　“Jaemin, what am I going to do?” you whisper. “I didn’t get in anywhere…”

　Jaemin is pulling your hands away from your eyes but his hands stay on your wrists. His eyes on yours, you try shrinking from his gaze but his hands keep you close. Why does he always make me feel exposed?

　“I didn’t get in anywhere either,” he reminds you.

　You look down, shame slowly pooling in your stomach. All this time, Jaemin has always been considerate of you. It was time that you let go of your insecurities and start being considerate of him too.

　“Did you end up telling your mom?” you ask hesitantly.

　Jaemin’s gaze darts to the side. “No. I told her what she wanted to hear.”

　“How did that go?”

　Jaemin forces a laugh. “You know what’s crazy? She wasn’t even happy for me - when I told her I might get a Pulitzer.”

　You bring Jaemin’s hand into your lap. “I’m sorry, Jaemin.”

　“So then I told her I got into every med school I applied to. I don’t know why I lied. I think I just wanted her to be proud of me for once. But she sounded… I dunno.”

　You tightened your grip on Jaemin’s hand. He still hadn’t raised his eyes to yours.

　“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the Pulitzer,” Jaemin says slowly. “I was waiting for my mom to call me back because I wanted to tell her first.”

　You shake your head. “No, it’s fine. I’m sorry for getting mad about it.”

　“It’s alright, I get it.”

　You don’t like Jaemin’s vacant expression so you try to smile. “You hungry? I’m sure you had a long flight.”

　His eyes finally meet yours, a small smile tugging at the sight of yours. “Yeah, a bit.”

　“How ‘bout I make you a potato pizza?”

　“No, you already shut off the oven and put everything back into the walk-in.”

　You’re already standing up, determined to make him the best potato pizza. “Don’t worry about it, I open the shop tomorrow anyways.”

　“Can—can you cut it into a heart shape, like before?” Jaemin requests hopefully.

　“Of course,” you grin genuinely. “Whatever you want.”

　After a 30 minute process of waiting for the oven to reheat and preparing the ingredients, you and Jaemin sat in a booth together, eating pizza with one hand and holding each other’s hand with the other. The both of you ate without talking, mutually pondering your murky future. Eventually, Jaemin decided to break the tension. He wanted to make you smile again.

　“You know I used to stare at you in the kitchen from this exact booth?”

　You almost snort in laughter. “How could I forget?

　“In hindsight, I was such a creep. But since it worked out between us, I feel like it was kinda sweet.”

　You wrinkle your nose. “You’re just lucky.”

　Jaemin nods vigorously, squeezing your palm. “Definitely.”

　Letting his crust fall, Jaemin stares at his empty paper plate. He can’t remember the last time he ate something so fast. “You know, I think the last time I ate a potato pizza was when I first met you.”

　You slumped back against the booth’s cushion. “Whoa, same for me I think. I didn’t dare make one after Taeil got so angry.”

　Jaemin grimaces. “I’m sorry for getting you into trouble.”

　You shake your head. “No worries.” Wiping your sauced lips with a napkin, you sigh. “Besides, I’m in bigger trouble now.”

　Jaemin didn’t know what to say to make it better so you just sit in silence. But this time, the silence didn’t weigh as heavily with Jaemin’s hand in yours.

　“You feeling better now?” Jaemin asks quietly.

　You nod. “I’m okay if you’re okay.”

　For fucks sake, you’re an adult. You can tell a guy you like him. Especially one that flew you out to another country. You know he likes you so just say it!

　“Why are you glaring at me,” Jaemin mumbles, tiredly looking up from his laptop.

　He had been editing his pictures on the bed ever since you arrived at the hotel room. You were furiously scribbling down a few stanzas before you realized you were just ranting about being horny. But you were too anxious. If you kissed him now, you think you might accidentally bite him.

　Standing abruptly, you walk to Jaemin’s side of the bed and pull at his hand. He instinctively slams his laptop closed and looks up at you with surprise. Jaemin doesn’t try to suppress the soaring feeling in his chest. It’s been there since you slept on his shoulder during the plane ride.

　“Let’s go for a walk,” you demand.

　Jaemin shrugs. “Sure.”

　You need to get out of that hotel room before you accidentally scream at him that you’re in love with him. Walking at an aggressively fast pace, you don’t know what you’re looking for but you want to be alone with Jaemin.

　“What’s up?” Jaemin prompts gently.

　Something is obviously on your mind. He worries you’re still sad about getting rejected from graduate schools. Jaemin knows this trip is only a temporary fix and eventually, the two of you will have to face the reality that you’re both very, very fucked.

　“I…I” I love you. You’re stumbling on words, on thoughts. You want to say it so badly but you can’t. “…thank you for bringing me here. I really, uh, I really appreciate you.”

　Jaemin smiled tenderly. “Of course. Thank you for coming and I… I appreciate you too.” It was harder to say than he expected.

　“But you know, I would appreciate you more if you read me one of your poems.”

　You glare at him. “I told you, they’re not ready yet.”

　“I don’t care,” Jaemin whines, grabbing your hands. “Let me inside of that pretty head of yours.”

　“Absolutely not.”

　“At least name a date.”

　“A year from now.”

　Jaemin’s smile is so wide, it’s splitting you in two.

　“Don’t be silly, tell me a different time.”

　“A month from now.”

　He’s lowering his head to yours.

　“Tell me a different time.”

　He’s so close.

　“A week from now.”

　But he doesn’t lower his lips onto yours.

　“Tell me a different time.”

　“When we get back to the hotel.”

　Jaemin yanks your hand forward, practically dragging you back where you came. “Excellent, let’s go.”

　“You’re the worst,” you moan loudly.

　“Love you,” Jaemin sings happily while tugging you further. He doesn’t seem to realize what he’s said while trampling every plant under his impatient feet.

　“Love you too,” you whisper, a stupid smile filling your cheeks.

　You don’t know what came over you at the hotel. Instead of pulling out your journal, you found yourself pulling up your dress. You honestly didn’t care anymore about seeing Jaemin’s photography or him seeing your poetry. It would all happen eventually. For now, all you wanted was Jaemin.

　Once he had closed the hotel door, you had reached for his neck and brought his lips to yours. It was all happening so fast and yet so slow. You were tugging at his belt and he was kicking off his vans. All of a sudden you were on the bed with your shoes and socks on the floor. Jaemin’s hands slid up your thighs, only raising them from your skin to lift the hem up your stomach.

　“You’re so pretty,” Jaemin whispers as you pull your dress over your head.

　Too shy and horny to respond, you let out a shaky laugh before connecting your lips. The feeling of your bare chests pressed against each other is making you shiver but it’s not enough. Fingers tucking into Jaemin’s pants, you strain them down. He winces as they rub uncomfortably over his dick but he eventually kicks them off. Pulling down your panties while he tugs off his socks, you swipe a finger down your folds to make sure you’re wet enough.

　Pushing down a moan, you quickly wipe your finger on your sheets. Impatiently pulling Jaemin’s body onto yours, he squeezes his eyes when he feels your body completely bare against his. Pushing up his chest, you reach your hand down to grab his dick.

　Fuck. This is really happening.

　Your hand goes rigid around his cock while your heart quivers between your lungs. Desperate for some sort of movement, Jaemin clumsily rubs his pointer finger between your folds. Your grip loosening under his touch, you begin pumping his boner, pre-cum seeping between your fingers.

　“Is this okay?” Jaemin mumbles. He knows must be doing something right since your wetness is dribbling down his palm. But he’s greedy, he wants your sighs and moans.

　“Yes, please add another finger,” you whine against Jaemin’s ear while tightening your grip around his length.

　Groaning quietly, Jaemin releases your fist and pulls your back into his chest. Bringing his middle and pointer finger together, his strokes are more firm. You close your eyes and inhale his natural odor. Pushing your ass against his hard-on, you rub your legs against his. Eventually, your movements become soupier as you buckle under his touch. His fingers demand more skin, more space.

　Jaemin wishes the lights were on as he watches you tremble and moan. Your night-lit curves, warm skin, and long whines fill his senses. He’s never been so aroused, so hot, so hard.

　“I wanna be inside you,” he whispers in your ear.

　You’re trying to get words out but it’s not working. You’re nodding and turning your body so your back is now lying on the mattress.

　Emboldened by his words, you frantically push his dick into any space near your vagina. You manage to find your opening after several moans of frustration and unintentional teasing. Letting your knees fall to the bed, you breathe roughly when his dick slowly slides into you. You’re dripping but there’s still weighted friction. As he moves further and further, you twist your face in discomfort and ecstasy. It’s all too much, too tight. Your legs, shoulders, and stomach stiffen as your body tries to decide whether to reject or accept the pleasure.

　Kissing your face and neck feverishly, you let Jaemin ease the tension in your body. As you relax, his cock hits a spot that makes you both groan and all the pressure between your legs seems to melt away.

　Sensing that you’ve relaxed, Jaemin timidly thrusts. Your pussy completely slickened, his dick slides all the way inside. He flexes his stomach on yours, reveling in the way his hips feel against yours. “Oh fuck,” Jaemin moans. Wrapping his arms tightly around your shoulders, he presses deeper into you. Biting into your neck, he tries to keep his groans at bay. “Shit, I-I’m not gonna last long.”

　“It’s fine,” you reassure, “Just keep going.” You slip one hand in his and move the other down his back. It’s damp from his sweat and strained from his thrusts but you pull him down even more, trying to get closer and make him push further. Your mouth and legs are widening as Jaemin buries himself into you.

　Your pussy so warm and sleek, Jaemin licks wet moans into your shoulder as he barrels his cock into you. The trembling friction between your legs and the feeling of your naked chest against his keeps your back curving and juices leaking. Lifting his chest, he stations his hands at your shoulders. With additional leverage, his dick slams into deeper crevices and you whine loudly in satisfaction. Your moans are the only thing keeping Jaemin from cumming. He’ll wait till his cock is about to explode to hear them.

　“I’m gonna cum,” Jaemin huffs, raising his hips.

　You pull him back onto you, “Inside,” you moan. “Cum inside me.”

　Teeth clenching and eyelids squeezed, Jaemin pumps his semen into you. His taut muscles seem to slump into piles of nothingness and his mind is drained of all thought and reason. All he knows is you and your body.

　Collapsing on top of you, Jaemin heaves a satisfied sigh into your neck. “That was amazing.”

　You laugh and wrap your arms around his neck. Kissing his cheek, you settled your head onto his shoulder.

　After a few moments of comfortable stillness, you tap your fingers against Jaemin’s closed eyelids.

　“What?” he mumbles, eyes fluttering.

　“Mind getting me a towel?” you ask while shifting your ass slightly. Definitely still some cum pooling out of you.

　“Yeah, sure.” Jaemin begins to shift his body upwards before turning to you in realization. “Are you… sore?”

　You laugh. “Of course. I mean, it’s my first time having sex.”

　“You’re a virgin?!”

　“Well, I was.”

#jaemin smut #nct dream smut #nct smut #na jaemin #jaemin x reader #jaemin x you #jaemin x y/n #jaemin fluff #nct dream fluff #jaemin fic #the 20-year-old virgin #jaemin scenarios #NCT Dream Scenarios #nct dream fic #jaemin imagines #nct dream imagines

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sj-ficrecs · 3 years

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FIC REC SIX:

it’s been a min since I’ve done a new fic rec, so here we go. just a random collection of new stories (or new to me lol) that I’ve been enjoying! as usual, no specific order.

This is purely a fic rec blog, always reblogging fics I enjoy. usually Bucky x reader, sometimes Steve x reader, Chris Beck x reader, etc. So check out more I’ve reblogged on this page. :) See my past fic recs below:

PREVIOUS FIC RECS HERE !

Bucky x reader:

Reputation by @captainscanadian College!Bucky x Reader “There was a fine line between being study buddies and fuck buddies; a line that was never meant to be crossed until it was. All you wanted was to finish off your undergraduate degree, get a decent MCAT score and go off to medical school. But when NYU’s resident fuckboy offers to be your tutor, it seemed as though fate had a whole other plan for the two of you. His reputation precedes him, but you soon came to realize that there was more to Bucky Barnes than what meets the eye.”

107th by @baezen cop!Bucky x reader

“in which her hot cop neighbour asks for multiple favours and she can’t seem to say no to him”

Hearts in Secret by @jbbarnesandnoble King!Bucky Barnes x Princess!Reader “people always assume that princesses are free to do as they wish, to dress and act how they want to. In fact, it’s actually quiet the opposite.”

The Kid From Queens by @wkemeup Modern Army Vet!Bucky x reader (drabble from Sunrise) by @wkemeup

“Bucky and Y/n take a trip to Queens in search of the boy Bucky saved on the day that changed his life“

Black Lace and Property Damage by @bitsandbobsandstuff Bucky x reader

“With your messy work hours, Bucky’s consistently inconsistent mission schedule, and those basic life tasks you’re both ignoring (when was the last time he actually bought a new toothbrush?), the simple act of just being together has been shunted to the side. Bucky’s officially starting to panic.“

Behind Enemy Lines by @writingcroissant 40s!Bucky x reader

“Bucky Barnes falls off a train right into the midst of a nation he swore to fight to his last breath. But instead of Hydra, he just so happens to be found by a young woman who risks her life in order to save his.“

Broken Crown by @lionoflannistarth Knight!Bucky x princess!reader

“James Buchanan Barnes is a knight who is in love with his childhood best friend, the royal princess. Both of them think, and for different reasons, that the princess’ betrothal is the worst thing that can happen. Until…“

Better by @captainscanadian Doctor!Bucky x doctor!reader

“Dr. James Barnes has it all: a loving family, caring best friends, and a successful career as one of the best heart surgeons in New York. He has everything he ever wanted his whole life… well, almost everything. One thing he never thought he could ever have was Y/N Y/L/N. She may have been a lot of things, but he loved her because she made him better.“

The Wilds by @moonstruckbucky Lumberjack!Bucky x reader

“After a bitter divorce, you seek solace in the wilds of Alaska. Unbeknownst to you, it’ll change you in ways you could have never imagined.”

This Town by @no-champagne-socialist Bucky x reader

“Y/N has been included as one of Earth’s Mightest Heroes for so long, that she considers each and every member of her team to be her family. So when the Avengers are torn apart from the inside, she takes the road less travelled to one of retirement. Y/N finds herself settling into a life of exclusion, but also one of safety and comfort, when an old friend comes knocking, asking for a favour.“

If I Could Fly by @ceeellewrites Actor!Bucky x Actress!Reader Social Media AU

“Bucky Barnes is an actor with a small (just a tiny) celebrity crush on Y/N L/N, one of the industry’s well-known actress. Well, it’s just a celebrity crush, what could go wrong?”

Long Way Home by @captainscanadian Doctor!Bucky x doctor!reader

“If the doctors don’t fix you, then I’ll become a doctor and I’ll fix you, Bambi.” While Bucky Barnes did not remember the promise he had made almost thirty years ago, he still kept it.“

Waves by @buckys-darling Prince!Bucky x Reader “Prince James Barnes of Montiero despises the spotlight and has been hidden from the public eye for years. You meet a stranger at the bar on your girls trip to a remote island. What’s the harm in a one night stand?”

Leather Jacket by @mymoonagedaydream Biker!Bucky x reader

“Your genius business idea seemed to have attracted the wrong sort of people to your brother’s bar- at first“

Rookie by @sebastiianstxn Detective!Bucky x cop!reader

“it’s the start of something new for detective Barnes and the rookie y/n but figuring out their relationship ends abruptly when reader gets unknown calls“

The Cat’s Meow by @moonbeambucky Bucky x reader

“On an effort to rescue a cat you didn’t expect to also rescue your love life.“

Know it All by @moonbeambucky College!Bucky x reader

“Your grades and patience are tested when you’re paired together for a class project with the one person you cannot stand, Bucky Barnes.”

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alt-rose · 3 years

Text

take a break | colson baker

colson baker imagine

take a break - you’re studying for the MCAT, and he reminds you of the importance of selfcare.

warnings: none? language? school stress?

it wasn’t unusual for Colson’s living room to be a mess. from all the ragers that he’s thrown to the guys’ weekly get together, the living room was bound to be trashed. empty bottles and glasses usually littered every surface with rolling papers and ash spread thoroughly in between.

however, the mess that currently inhabited the living room was not Colson or the guys’ doing. it was yours. you had taken over the living room, claiming it as your study zone.

you were currently studying for the MCAT, which you were taking in a few weeks. Colson had been so supportive when you decided to visit him during the important time in your academic career, and you were only asking for a few hours a day to yourself so that you could study for your upcoming test. you promised that you would spend the rest of your time with him since you were spending your spring break camped out at his place and would eventually need to head back to school.

he was so proud of you, and he was incredibly impressed with your work ethic. applying to medical school was not an easy feat, and you had worked your ass off to get to where you are today, which is something that he could relate to.

so, Colson let you trash his living room. he had banished the guys from his house for the duration of your break (or at least, kept them out of your study zone), and he even cleared out when you had planned to study, usually spending his time in the studio working on his next album.

when he was gone, you spent your day drowning in study guides and practice tests. your papers were sprawled out on the living room floor as you used the coffee table as your desk. you had pens and highlighters buried within the mess. you had your textbooks cracked open to whatever page that you had frantically flipped to when you couldn’t remember something. mugs with day-old coffee and empty fruit snack pouches were abandoned on the end tables by the couch.

it was safe to say that you absolutely destroyed his living room.

“I’m going to head to the studio for a few hours.”

peering up from your place on the floor, you watched as Colson zipped up his jacket and shoved his wallet and keys into his pockets.

“text me if you need anything?” he suggested before making his way over to you, leaning down to plant a kiss on the top of your head.

“sure,” you murmur before pulling him down to kiss his cheek.

“don’t study too hard,” he joked, earning a stressed laugh from you.

the both of you knew that asking you not to study hard was like asking you not to breathe. both are necessary for your survival.

after he left, you decided to use the silence to your advantage, and you began to take another practice exam. that exam then turned into taking another exam when you didn’t score as well as you had hoped, and then you were spiraling.

you scoured your study guides and notes to review the material you had missed. your eyes were burning from the strain, and your head was beginning to pound. you were digging yourself a hole in your insecurities. you had broken down into tears twice now from the stress. you were dizzy and nauseous from forgetting to eat; not that you really had the stomach for it right now anyway. you don’t even remember the last time you got up to use the bathroom.

when Colson came home after 9 hours at the studio, he found you in the same position that you were in when he left. you were hunched over your books. your blue light glasses had slid down your nose, and your hair was a mess. leaving you to finish whatever you were working on, he made his way to the kitchen to clean up whatever mess that you had left him, only to find that there were no dishes in the sink. the kitchen hadn’t been touched since that morning.

“hey,” he began as he made his way back to the living room. “did you eat anything today?”

you only hummed a response as you flipped through one of your notebooks, completely ignoring him. finding what you were looking for, you jotted a note down on one of your study guides.

“hey,” Colson tried to get your attention once more as he took a seat on the floor across the table from you. he watched your eyes flick up to him briefly before they directed their attention back to the work in front of you. “dude.”

“Col, give me a minute to finish this up, and I’ll talk to you then,” you snap at him as you take a few more notes.

Colson let out a sigh as he watched you go back and forth from your notebook to your textbook. he chose to sit and scroll through twitter while he waited for you to finish, but after 20 minutes had passed, he knew that you weren’t going to stop anytime soon.

“jesus,” he muttered to himself as he put his phone down on top of some of your papers on the table. “have you taken a break at all today? have you eaten? looked out a window?”

you scoffed at him.

“I don’t have time for breaks, Colson,” you said coldly. “I have to study because I have to take this test in a few weeks – a test, might I add, that will define my future – and I am not even remotely prepared for it. my practice scores are decreasing. I can’t remember any of this material. my notes are shit. and, I am going to fucking fail, which means I am not going to get into medical school, and all of my years of working my ass off in school will mean absolutely nothing. I cannot just take a break when I have everything at stake here.”

you both took a beat. you were taken aback by your sudden outburst. yeah, you meant every word of it, but you hadn’t meant for it to come out so harshly. and, you definitely didn’t mean to snap at Colson, who had been so supportive of your goals from the beginning. he was kind of shocked by your snappy attitude.

“I understand,” he broke the silence. “I understand that you are really stressed, and I know that you have a lot of pressure on you. I just want to help, and I think taking an hour to eat and do something other than tear apart your notes would help.” he gently placed his hand on top of yours. “it’s late. I’m tired. you have to be tired. let’s call it a night. I’ll make you something to eat, and then you can turn your brain off for a few hours. killing yourself over this work won’t improve your scores-”

“Colson,” you interrupted, pulling your hand away from him. “I just need to review a bit more.”

“no,” he said sternly. “you need to rest. self-care and all that shit is just as important as studying.” he stood up from his spot on the floor, now towering over you. “come on, get up.” you gave him an annoyed look, practically telling him to F off. “no, come on, don’t give that shit. get up.”

he moved to your side of the table, and he pulled you up from the floor, despite your protests. to keep you from running back to your work, he threw you over his shoulder, and you yelped from surprise.

“put me down,” you whine, pounding your fists on his back. “you’re being a jerk.”

Colson carried you up the stairs toward his bedroom before finally setting you down in his ensuite. you landed on your feet quite ungracefully, only for Colson to pick you back up to place you on the counter. the two of you stared at each other for a moment. you glared while Colson silently challenged you to make a run for it.

he raised an eyebrow at you once he was sure you would stay before turning to the bathtub. he turned the water on and waited for it to heat up before stopping the drain.

when he finally turned back to you, he found you slumped over with your eyes fixated on the floor, as if you were trying to micro nap while you waited. he suddenly felt less confident in leaving you to take a relaxing bath alone while he fixed you up something to eat, now knowing that you were on the verge of sleep.

gently placing a hand on your cheek, he moved to hold you close while the tub began to fill. he rested his chin on the top of your head while you tucked yourself into his chest.

“was gonna leave you to take a bath, but I don’t want to leave you to drown in the tub if you’re going to fall asleep on me,” he murmured into your hair.

you let out a tired (and slightly loopy) laugh.

“you might have to join me,” you murmur into his shoulder.

“okay.”

with that, he moved to pull out two towels and dropped some fancy bath salts into the tub before finally moving to help you off the counter. he helped you slip out of your clothes before moving to undress himself, and then the two of you climbed into the tub together.

you sat with your back resting against his chest, and your head was resting against his shoulder. he let you close your eyes for a few minutes, allowing you to take a small nap. while you laid against him with your eyes closed, he gently ran a soapy washcloth against your skin to wipe away the fact that you hadn’t showered in at least two days.

“still with me?” Colson hummed lightly.

you nodded against his chest.

“do you want me to wash your hair?”

“yes, please.”

Colson’s heart melted at how small your voice sounded. wordlessly, he gently moved you forward so that he could rinse and wash your hair with the detachable showerhead. you rested between his knees while he ran his hands through your hair. you were seconds from falling asleep, his motions slowly luring you to sleep. once he was finished with you, he let you rest your head against his propped-up knee while he quickly rinsed and washed himself.

he watched you carefully as he moved to unplug the drain and to hang up the showerhead before gently running a hand over your cheek. you opened your eyes at his touch.

“ready to get out?” he asked softly, only receiving a sleepy nod from you.

he got out first, quickly wrapping a towel around his waist before holding your towel out for you. you stepped into the towel and let him wrap you up. after taking a minute to dry off, Colson grabbed the robe he got for you the last time you came to visit, and he wrapped it around you after taking your towel to expertly wrap your wet hair up in it.

you sat on the bathroom counter, slowly doing your skin care routine while he took a moment to dry himself off and put on a pair of boxers.

“you okay if I go fix you up something to eat?” Colson asked from the doorway, watching you apply your moisturizer.

“I’m okay,” you give him a small smile. “thanks, Cols.”

once you were finished, you dragged yourself to his bed, still wrapped in your robe with no motivation to put your pajamas on. you curled up against the pillows, letting yourself rest your eyes for a moment, while you waited for Colson.

“I made you a sandwich.”

you opened your eyes to find Colson kneeling on the bed next to you with a plate in his hand. you move to sit up to let him lean against the pillows next to you.

“you’re a saint,” you laugh lightly as you lean into his side.

“hardly a saint,” he laughed back at you as he handed you half of your sandwich while he grabbed half of his.

“a god?” you suggest taking the sandwich from him.

“maybe.” he raised his slice to you. “cheers.”

“cheers,” you laugh as you bump your sandwich against his. you took a moment to take your first bite. “oooo,” you call to him covering you mouth as you finish your bite. “you’re an angel. that’s what you are?”

“alright, you noob, knock it off,” he smiled at you. “if anyone’s an angel here, it’s you.”

“yeah, yeah, okay, you sap,” you nod back him before taking a bite.

the two of you let a comfortable silence fall over you as you finished your sandwiches. once you were both finished, Colson placed the plate on his nightstand before turning his attention back to you, only to find you already tucked under the covers. following you, he slipped under the covers before situating himself comfortably on his pillows. he pulled you into his chest, and you rested your head on his chest.

“thank you,” you murmur.

“for what?” he lightly stroked your damp hair.

“you always take care of me. I love you for that.”

“I’ll always take care of my girl.”

you lightly ran a hand up his arm, tracing his tattoos.

“you’re going to be a great doctor one day-”

“Cols,” you sigh with a defeated feeling sinking into your chest.

“I mean it,” he told you. “you’re so smart, and I know this is a really stressful time for you, and it’s really difficult for you, but I know you’re going to do great on your test. you’ve been studying nonstop for weeks. you know you’re prepared, and I know it may not feel like it because you’ve been taking so many practice tests and stuff, but I think a break would do you some good. you need a fresh start. get out of your head for a bit, you know? take a day to get out and have fun, and then you can go back to studying for the rest of the break.”

“Cols.”

“spend the day with me tomorrow. we can go to the beach, or we can go hiking, or shopping, or anything you want to do. let me get you out of this house.”

you let out a sigh, taking a moment to think. he wasn’t wrong. you needed to get out, and you needed a break.

“okay,” you sigh into his chest.

“good,” he smiled to himself as he wrapped his arms tightly around you. “now sleep.”

“don’t have to tell me twice,” you laugh lightly before nuzzling yourself into his chest so that you weren’t putting any strain on your neck. he reached a hand up and turned off the lamp, and darkness fell on both of you. “hey Cols?”

“hmmm?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, (Y/N/N).”

hope you enjoyed! i took a break from some schoolwork to finish this piece. college is hard, my dudes. feel free to send requests! - rose xx

#colson baker #colson baker imagine #colson baker imagines #colson baker x reader #machine gun kelly imagines #machine gun kelly imagine #machine gun kelly x reader

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rolandtowen · 3 years

Text

Kiss It Better

Sokka builds a blanket fort. Zuko info-dumps about ADHD and chronic pain. Fluff ensues.

Read it under the cut!

"Sokka?"

A mess of brown hair and blue eyes peers out from underneath a carefully constructed cocoon of blankets. Zuko's standing in their bedroom doorway, holding Sokka's medication organizer.

"When was the last time you remember taking your meds?"

"Hmm... Thursday?" Comes Sokka's voice, muffled by the blankets.

Zuko flipped through the pill pockets. "No, looks like Tuesday."

"How bad is that? What day is today?"

Zuko sits on the edge of their bed, close enough to hold Sokka's hand but not close enough to disrupt his carefully crafted fort. "Well firstly, today is Sunday." Sokka groans and brings his free hand to his forehead. Zuko presses on, squeezing his other hand. "Secondly, taking your meds is morally neutral. Forgetting doesn't make you a bad person, it just means we need to find a routine that works better for you."

Sokka nods and Zuko can see the gears turning in his brain.

"Can I ask why you're in a blanket fort? Is it your knee?"

As a kid with ADHD, Sokka played a lot of sports: hockey, basketball, even tennis. But football is what did him in - in his senior year in high school, an unfortunate tackle tore his ACL, dislocated his left knee, and created hairline fractures in his calf bones. The Dancing Dragons won the game, but Sokka spent the rest of his senior year recovering. After almost five years, all it takes is one bad twist during a rush in the coffee shop and Sokka's down for the count.

"What gave it away?" Zuko looks up from their joined hands to see Sokka smiling at him, his bitterness at his body softened by Zuko's presence.

"Well, for one, the heating pad was mysteriously absent from our med drawer - and you're also in a blanket fort." Zuko squeezes Sokka's hand. "May I join you?"

"But of course, my love," Sokka pulls back the comforter, slapping the empty mattress beside him. "By all means, come on into Fort Chronic Pain."

Zuko laughs, settling next to his boyfriend and curling into him. "You're ridiculous."

"That's why you love me." Sokka starts combing his fingers through Zuko's long hair. "How were your classes today?"

Sokka knows that if he can get Zuko talking about school, he won't be so worried about Sokka's knee.

"Are you trying to get me to stop worrying about you? It won't work." Sokka sighs.

"Maybe, I think your med school classes are interesting."

Zuko, for all his worrying, had passed the MCAT, graduated summa cum laude, and was now studying for his M. D. at the prestigious Beifong Medical School. Sokka hadn't doubted him for a second. Zuko never gave up and never backed down. The man could grapple with the Sun and win unscathed.

"-oned?" Zuko's voice comes from below him.

"Huh?"

"I asked, 'are you zoned'?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry, I-"

Zuko waves him off. "What's the last thing you remember? I can start over."

"I remember asking you about classes, and you wrongfully accusing me of trying to distract you."

Zuko snorts. "My favorite class by far has been Mental Health and Physiology. I think it's highly admirable that med schools are starting to integrate mental and physical health, and not teaching them separately."

"What kind of things have you learned?"

"Like, people with anxiety may present with back pain that doesn't correlate to an injury; the excess stress can really do strange things to your muscles - and we should still holistically treat patients without just dismissing them and telling them to relax."

Sokka nods. "That makes a lot of sense, baby. You're so smart."

"Oh, shut up." Zuko can feel his cheeks warm at the compliment. "But, we also talked about ADHD and chronic pain, which I thought you might like to hear?"

"Of course, turtleduck. Amaze me." Sokka rests his hand on Zuko's hair, running his thumb across the curve of his head. "Info-dump away."

Zuko takes a deep breath in. "Okay, so, there are significant studies that show that people with ADHD experience chronic pain at a higher level than the average population - there are a few theories as to why this might be. Many people with ADHD experience hypertonia, or muscle overactivity. This can make it really difficult to fully relax tense muscles, and increases chance of injury. Additionally, low dopamine is considered to be one of the causes of ADHD, and dopamine regulates chronic pain signals. Most of the research has only been done in the last decade, so it's going to be really exciting to see what new treatments develop - previously, dopamine wasn't really known to be connected to pain regulation at all." Zuko turns to look up at Sokka. "You never know, there might be an effective treatment for your leg in the next decade."

Sokka wants to be hopeful, he does, but he's been trying to treat his chronic pain for five years, and he's had limited success. Going to a chiropractor helped a little, the physical therapist gave him some great exercises for strengthening the tendons supporting his knee, and cutting back on inflammatory foods lessened the pain level whenever he entered a flare - but he still got flares. A hike could knock him off his feet for weeks; a rainy day could be agonizing. He just wishes there was a simple solution - but as much as homeopathic Karens in the coffee shop try to convince him, there's no one-step solution. No, Janet, as good as your essential oil blend smells, it isn't going to take the place of physical therapy, preventative care, and lifestyle changes. Just like for his ADHD. It takes dedication to a process of self-care to make improvement in either arena.

And if the off-schedule pill organizer in Zuko's hands is any indication, dedication to a process can feel fucking impossible with ADHD.

"Can I do anything to help?" Sokka looks down to see Zuko's amber eyes staring up at him, offering comfort no blanket fort could provide.

"Can you..."

"Yeah?"

Sokka swallows. "Could you, maybe... kiss it better?"

Zuko's eyes practically sing his answer: "Of course I can."

Zuko gingerly moves the heating pad from its spot on Sokka's left knee. He tips his head down, pressing a featherlight kiss to Sokka's kneecap. He murmurs something under his breath.

"Sorry, what was that?"

Zuko looks at him sheepishly. "I said, 'the patella'.

Sokka can't hold back the laughter that bubbles out of his chest. "You're using me for anatomy study?"

"Seems like a fair trade. You get kisses and I get to study at the same time." Zuko drops another kiss to Sokka's knee. "Both the elbows and the knees are constructed with hinge joints." Zuko presses a firmer kiss to Sokka's thigh. "This is the femur, the thighbone - the longest and strongest bone in your body."

Sokka opens his mouth to make a joke, but Zuko beats him to it: "If you make a joke about your dick, I'm donating you to my cadaver class." Sokka's jaw snaps shut.

Zuko drops another two kisses on either side of Sokka's calf. "Tibia and fibula," he whispers. "These are the ones you broke senior year."

"Only hairline fractures," Sokka corrects.

"Can you still feel it?"

Sokka shakes his head. "It's the ACL that still bothers me the most."

"Do you want some lidocaine?"

"Spirits, yes."

Zuko rummages through their nightstand, pulling the blessed tub of Icy Hot out of the top drawer, and spreading a thin layer over Sokka's knee. He traces soft patterns into his knee as they wait for the lidocaine to kick in.

"If you say 'patella' again, I'm going to smack you." Sokka eyes him from where he's leaning against the headboard.

"Of course not," Zuko takes Sokka's right hand into his and presses a kiss to the back of it. "Metacarpals."

"You fucker-"

"Don't get riled up and undo all my hard work." Zuko massages the palm of Sokka's hand. "Is the leg better?"

"Much better."

"So we still have the original problem."

"The meds?"

Zuko nods. "So I know you've been trying to take them as soon as you wake up..."

"But?"

"I think you should task-stack it," Zuko says, running his thumb absent-mindedly over Sokka's knee. "You should pair with something you do everyday."

"Like what?"

"You make yourself a wicked pour-over every morning. What if you kept your meds by the kettle and then took them while you waited for the water to get hot?"

Sokka face pauses, processing. "Huh."

"Would... would that work?"

Sokka smiles, beaming at him. "That's a brilliant idea, turtleduck." He opens his arms up, patting the space underneath him. "Come up here?"

"If you insist," Zuko quips. "Do you want me to make fried rice tonight? I can even bring it to you if you want."

"You're literally the light of my life."

Zuko laughs. "I'll take that to heart." He snuggles up under Sokka's chin. "Do you feel better?"

"So much better." Sokka pushes back Zuko's hair from his face and presses a soft kiss to his forehead. "Thanks to you."

"Frontal bone," Zuko murmurs.

"Seriously?!"

Zuko cackles.

#mine #zuko #atla #sokka #rolandtowen #zukka #avatar #avatar: tla #autistic zuko #sokka has adhd #med school au #neurodiverse zukka #neurodivergent zukka #neurodiverse au #tw: medication #tw: medical

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studyfor-achange · 3 years

Text

Guess who finally graduated!!!! I’m so glad to be finished with my degree, but I also didn’t have much of a study break. I’m taking the MCAT soon and there is a lot to study. I’m kind of freaking out, but I guess we’ll just see how it goes.

We are lifelong learners, so even though I’m out of school for a while, I’ll still be here looking for study tips and motivation.

#study for-achange #studyblr #graduated #we did it #MCAT time

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deathonyourtongue · 3 years

Text

Calling on the Rain

Summary: What’s a first date without an interlude from Mother Nature? Pairing: Henry Cavill x OFC (part of the Yvonne/Ray/Arlo series which I’ve yet to name. 🤦🏽‍♀️) Word Count: 2.1K Warnings: All the fluff! A/N: This was a request from the lovely @livinglifeformemyselfandi ! Enjoy!!

Completing a PhD in clinical psychiatry at Cornell tended to leave one without time for any sort of social life. Lately however, Yvonne had found herself trying to carve out little bits of it here and there. All because of a guy.

Being 26 with an MCAT score in the 500’s, Yvonne had breezed through her undergraduate program, but with her time at med school coming to a close, the pressure was on. She could start applying for her residency positions next year, and while she was beyond excited, the major shift didn’t come without a healthy dose of fear. She needed some time to simply…be, and since she wasn’t a fan of being alone, finally accepting a date from the guy in her neuro class seemed like the best idea.

Arlo was from London, and though he’d explained it more than once, Yvonne still couldn’t fathom why he’d chosen to do his med program in the States. It didn’t matter however; the moment he’d opened his mouth, she was a goner.

The plans for the day were simple. A walk around town, taking in the sites, lunch at a little cafe that had an unbelievable dessert selection, and finally, a late show of a movie they’d both wanted to see.

Putting on a pair of Navy shorts, a cream tank top, and a matching pair of strappy sandals, she checked her hair and makeup one last time before heading out to meet Arlo in the common room. To say she was nervous was an understatement, but Yvonne knew that if she chickened out or cancelled on him again, she’d lose her shot with him and that was the last thing she wanted.

Arlo’s glance up at her put an ear-to-ear smile on Yvonne’s face, flustering her to the point where she had to keep her hand on the railing despite usually being okay without it.

“You look lovely,” he said as he extended his arm to her, Yvonne taking a moment to take him in before linking her arm through his. She was glad she wasn’t over or underdressed, and couldn’t help but smile a little brighter when she realized they matched.

“And you look very handsome,” Yvonne replied, her nerves easing a bit as they got moving.

“How’re you doing on your project?”

“Nope. Don’t wanna talk about it. Any topic other than school,” Yvonne grinned before playfully letting her head fall to his shoulder as though she were going to faint. Arlo laughed warmly, squeezing her hand as he thought about other topics. Never once did he ask her to move her head, and never once did Yvonne entertain the notion. After a few moments, his arm came around her, tucking her in close.

“Any topic other than school. Fair. What’s a movie that you can watch over and over again?”

“The second Mighty Ducks movie,” Yvonne answered sheepishly, pushing her face into Arlo’s chest as her cheeks caught fire.

“Didn’t take you for the sports type. I’ll keep that in mind come winter,” Arlo grinned, giving her a playful wink. It was his words that caught Yvonne’s heart in her chest however, the easy way he promised that they’d still be a thing at least until next winter. It intrigued her and Yvonne couldn’t help the excitement she felt at the prospect of actually having someone to be with.

“What about you?”

“Mine? I’m gonna have to go with...The Professional. Still holds up.”

Arlo held the door for Yvonne as they veered into one of the first shops along their walk, a place that sold a variety of different knick-knacks, from old skeleton keys to little frog statues, and even street signs. Though the aisles were narrow, they manage to stay side by side, Yvonne relaxing more and more into the warmth of his chest as they browsed.

“What’s one dish you’d never stop eating if there was an endless amount of it in front of you?” He asked as they checked out postcards, the majority related to their chosen alma mater.

“Ooh, good question! Fettuccine. Always. So yummy,” Yvonne answered, hoping her stomach wouldn’t growl at the thought of her favorite meal, especially since she’d skipped breakfast on account of nerves.

“Yeah, Fettuccine’s great. Personally, I’d be really sad if the world didn’t have pizza,” Arlo chuckled, letting her lead the way to the back of the store, where they had all sorts of games and toys, a few that harkened back to childhood.

Yvonne couldn’t help but reach for the magic 8 ball as soon as she saw it, her grin turning excited as she shook it.

“Will we enjoy the movie?” She asked, one eyebrow raised as she gazed up at Arlo, giggling when his expression mirrored hers. When the liquid settled, the window read a clear answer.

Outlook good.

“I hope so. Everyone can’t stop talking about it,” Arlo laughed, shaking his head before taking the 8 ball from Yvonne and giving it a shake of his own.

“Will my devastatingly smart and beautiful date find me up to snuff before the night is out?” He asked, making sure to keep his voice soft in the quiet store. Yvonne couldn’t help but cover her mouth to muffle her laughter when he showed her the answer.

My sources say no.

Arlo pouted, giving her his best puppy dog eyes, hunched shoulders and all.

“That’s not true!” Yvonne shook her head, giggling as she reached up on her tiptoes to kiss his cheek, unable to help the little flutter in her heart when his already ruddy cheeks went a shade pinker. The blush was made even better by his smile, the genuine happiness bringing out a more youthful side to him.

Taking the eight ball back, Yvonne shook it vigorously while she thought of a question to ask. She wanted it to be something outlandish, a prediction that couldn’t be true in a million years. Something that would cement this as the best date she’d ever been on, were it to come true.

“Will it rain on our date? Maybe right at the very end so I don’t have to walk around with frizzy hair all day?” Once more her eyebrow went up, part of her hoping it happened, and part hoping it didn’t, if only because she’d just gotten her hair done two days before and she’d opted for a silk press. As gorgeous as it was, it wasn’t rainproof in the slightest, and Yvonne didn’t want it to get ruined.

Better not tell you now.

Shrugging, she smiled sweetly at Arlo before wiggling her eyebrows, eyes wide. “Guess we’ll have to wait and see.”

“That was…”

“Delicious,” Arlo agreed, taking Yvonne’s hand as they made their way out of the restaurant, having a little time--and a small walk--to the theater.

They’d both chosen the Fettucine--hers with chicken and his with steak--and a glass of wine, and though the cafe was somewhat empty given the time of day, it might as well have been last call, because Yvonne felt like there was no one else in there with her except Arlo and she couldn’t have been happier.

He’d paid without even asking, so as they approached a candy store, Yvonne all but pushed him inside, giggling like a mischievous kid as she did so. “My treat. Can’t go to the movies without a few essentials.”

Shaking his head in amusement, Arlo let her lead him through the aisles, picking out things here and there, wondering how much of it would be used as study fuel later on when they headed back to the reality that was med school.

“So we’ve got Reese’s Pieces, gummy bears, fuzzy peaches, Milk Duds, and of course, Junior Mints.” Yvonne explained her haul as they left the store, carefully putting each candy in her purse and shuffling things around so that nothing bulged inconspicuously.

“I’ll never understand why theaters get upset when people bring their own candy. It’s not as though we haven’t already paid for the tickets,” Arlo mused, gently shifting Yvonne out of the way of a cyclist who was careening down the sidewalk. Startled to be moved so suddenly, Yvonne was about to say something to Arlo when the gust of wind caused by the passing cyclist nearly took her off her feet.

“Thank you,” she whispered, one eye half shut as she tried to blink the dust out of it. Yvonne’s breath caught in her throat when she felt Arlo’s warm hands cup her face. “Open as much as you can, and I’ll try and blow it out,” he explained, keeping her face steady and waiting until he saw her brown eyes fully opened before letting a quick burst of air escape his lips.

“Better?” Arlo asked, ducking his head to meet Yvonne’s gaze.

“Yes, much better, actually. Thank you. Again,” she smirked, leaning up to give him another kiss on the cheek, this time unable to help but smooth her hand over Arlo’s blushing cheek.

Yvonne would later chalk it up to misleading marketing and the exhaustion of med school, but after sitting through the first half of the movie--and half a bag of gummy bears which she shared with Arlo--she found her eyes growing heavy. Before she realized it, she was out like a light. Far from being put off, Arlo carefully lifted the armrest that separated them and tugged her in close, letting her head rest on his chest as his arm cradled her gently. As the credits rolled, he rubbed her back gently to wake her.

“Oh my god, that’s so embarrassing!” Yvonne groaned as she straightened herself out, realizing what she’d done. Arlo couldn’t help his big grin, finding her utterly endearing in her half-awake state.

“You didn’t miss much, believe me. I’ve half a mind to petition the movie studio for my money back, it was so boring.”

“Okay, so it wasn’t just me. Good. That makes me feel a little better,” she shook her head, remembering what little she’d seen of the movie and how she kept waiting for the action to begin.

“Ah, well, two out of three isn’t bad. Overall I think we did alright, no? As far as first dates go?” The anxiety and hope in his facial expression made Yvonne smile, knowing full well he was wishing on every last star in the sky that she would feel the same.

“I think we did more than alright. I think there’s second and third date potential there, mister.”

This time, Arlo blushed hard enough that he had to look away, though there was no missing the big, bright grin and the excitement in his eyes. Yvonne held him a little closer as they walked through the theater’s lobby, her own smile unwavering until she took a look outside.

“Oh my!” Arlo exclaimed, his expression a mix between true shock and more than a little amusement.

“Guess the 8 ball was right,” Yvonne answered, cringing momentarily before dissolving into giggles. “I just had to ask about rain, huh?”

“That just means you’re magic, love. True magic,” Arlo’s laughter sobered as he spoke, his blue eyes softening as he gazed down at Yvonne, looking for all the world like a man head-over-heels in love.

Pausing to think for a moment, Yvonne weighed their options; a taxi back to student housing (which would cost a fortune) or ruining her hair (which would also cost a pretty penny) on the first date with the first guy she’d truly been interested in since her childhood crush on her brother’s friend. Taking a deep breath, she took Arlo’s hand and tugged him through the door, knowing they were both about to get soaked to the bone.

“Love, what are you doing!?” Arlo called over the pouring rain, squinting against the drops and trying his best to pull Yvonne back into the building.

“Come on! I’ve always wanted to dance under the rain!” Yvonne answered, beaming at Arlo despite the drops that battered down on them.

Though he couldn’t hear it at first, when Arlo finally reached Yvonne, the soft sounds of music coming from a nearby restaurant were clear. Pulling her flush to his chest, Arlo took her hand in his and slipped the other around her waist.

Time ground to a halt as they slow danced, forgetting the rain, the cars going by, or even the people watching from inside the stores. There was only the rain, the stars, and the other person.

Their eyes met as the rain began to slow from a downpour to a sprinkle, and without a moment’s hesitation, Yvonne reached up on her tip toes and pressed a sweet, gentle kiss to Arlo’s lips, capping off the best date she’d ever had, ever.

Two things were certain to Yvonne as she and Arlo slowly parted from their kiss; she’d have to make more time to simply be, with Arlo, and she’d have to go back for that Magic 8 Ball soon.

#henry cavill #henry cavill x ofc #deathonyourtongueoriginals

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eirianerisdar · 3 years

Note

Hi! I know this isn't supposed to be like an academia or studyblr, and I hope you don't mind but I just wanted to say I think it's awesome you're a resident(?) doctor!

Have you ever posted about career path/qualifying exams?

And, your fics are seriously awesome, I've read the silent song and a few one-shots and love them!

Whoops, completely forgot to reply to this!

Thank you for reading - I hope I’ll have an update for TSS for everyone soon.

Thanks for the ask! I’m not sure what you mean by qualifying exams - to med school, at the end of med school, or specialist exams? I’ll touch a bit on each one.

To be honest, I’m not sure if career paths/qualifying exams for med school work the same way in Hong Kong as they do for the US or the UK, or other countries.

For example, I know the US have pre-med programs before med school itself, while medicine is a course straight through from first year uni to graduation in 5-6 years in the UK and in Hong Kong.

In the UK the MCAT is necessary for entry to medicine, but in Hong Kong you only need sufficiently high exam scores at A-level/IB/DSE or equivalent secondary school final exams and good interview performance to enter medicine. By sufficiently high I mean within the top 5% of students worldwide, if we’re talking IB.

In terms of career path in Hong Kong, after 1 year of housemanship (internship) as the lowliest of all doctors, you apply to a specialty for further training.

As for exams in medical school, I think getting into a study group is good - as much as a lot of the material is rote memorisation, being able to run through it verbally with friends and later on the physical examinations and viva questions is the only way you’ll really be able to retain the enormous amount of information for examinations.

I think choosing specialties works differently for everyone. For example, some people don’t mind the inhumane hours of general surgery or some hospital’s internal medicine departments; some dislike patient interaction and hence go for the more academic or less patient-contact specialties such as radiology or anaesthesiology. It’s a mix of career aims, your own interests, and work-life balance.

For example, I seriously considered the surgical stream for a little while until I realised I wasn’t suited to surgical life. I worked 100-hour weeks as a surgical intern, clocking in 38 hour shifts between 13 hour shifts on a daily basis, working 14 days straight in some instances. After losing 4 pounds in a week and a half after not having time to eat or pee during work I decided it wasn’t for me.

But on the flipside, surgery is a passion for many of my former classmates, who love the hands-on nature of it. The time it takes up in their daily lives becomes something they treasure.

As for me, I like communicating with patients, and following up for chronic problems, so I chose Family Medicine. It’s rewarding to be able to consolidate the entirety of their medical treatment and clarify things for patients, and to follow up on their health issues in a long term basis. I’ve still got five more years of training before I qualify as a Family Medicine specialist, but so far it’s been pretty great, rotating through different specialties at hospitals and at clinics.

I hope that answers your question! Feel free to send another ask my way if you want more info!

#replies #anon #medicine #doctor #medical happenings #I have NOT been checking my inbox as it turns nout #whoops #lots of unanswered things to get to #my post #personal

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paulinevuong · 3 years

Text

10/27 Entry 12:47 PM

Hello my loves! In another world I would be a pharmacist. Or maybe this world. My cousin is a pharmacist, but he went to the University of the Pacific for their pharmacy program. He is now barley 25 and got a full time job with CVS in Norcal. I caught up with him when we hung out over the weekend because of the wedding, and his life sounds so nice! He’s 25 with a stable job. But I’m 18 and I feel like I would not be able to accomplish everything and get to that stage in 7 years. But it’s okay to take some time to discover what I want to do! It’d just be a little unfortunate if it turns out to be pharmacy because then I could’ve just gone to a school with a direct pharmacy program. :(

But anyway pharmacy sounds cool because again the lifestyle! When I get asked “Why pre-health/med?” I always think back to my one interaction with a pharmacist while I was taken to urgent care. She was explaining the effects of Famotidine on my body, and after just learning about cells and intercellular synthesis in freshman year Biology nearly 4 days prior, I actually understood what was going on in my body and why certain medicines were getting prescribed! In our world, we see everything as components of, simply put, macromolecules. But in reality, under a pharmaceutical lease, everything is microscopic! So being able to solve our problems and health issues through such intricate modifications to our cells is fascinating to me. I would just have to apply to a College of Pharmacy once I graduate from here if I even do LOL, and that’ll be another 4 years. And I would need the PCAT. So I’ll maybe start work at 26/27! I also just have to take the NAPLEX and get a state licenses. I heard from my cousin that the NAPLEX exam is crazy hard though. Tough! Wait if I either need the PCAT or MCAT to apply to a school soon but I don’t know what I want to do yet but I need to start studying for it soon because I’ll be taking it my 3rd or 4th year D: At least now I know what I should be working towards! :3

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captainscanadian · 4 years

Text

Reputation | Bucky Barnes x Reader (Part 2)

My Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Summary: The first few weeks of classes had certainly hit you like a freight train. But thankfully, Bucky was there to help you get through it all.

Word Count: 3336

Pairing: College!Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Peggy Carter, Natasha Romanoff,

Warnings: No Smut, Only Fluff, Exam Stress

A/N: Reputation was heavily inspired by Taylor Swift’s iconic album of the same name and her song Delicate off of that album. This is my entry for @buckysmischief‘s 1K Writing Challenge. I’d like to thank my boo @baezen once again for being a good beta and for the constant love. Lastly, the reason why this whole fic (and my blog itself) exists in the first place was because I was reading @i-am-a-closet-fanfic-fiend‘s College AUs and wanted to write one of my own. GO READ IT, IT’S THE BEST COLLEGE AU EVER READ! This fic is an unofficial AU of my own fic, Better, but you don’t have to have read it to read this fic. Same characters, but they meet in a completely different time of their lives, under completely different circumstances. I DON’T OWN THE GIFS. CREDITS TO THE OWNERS. I DON’T DO TAGLISTS.

The sun was shining bright against the parted curtains as you awoke the next day, the sapphire-like eyes of Bucky Barnes gleaming against the light as they landed on yours.

A gasp as your eyes met his; you stared up at him with your brows raised. “James, have you been watching me sleep?”

He gave you a tight-lipped smile before leaning over to kiss your forehead. “Not my fault that you look so gorgeous when you’re asleep...”

“Creep.” You giggled, climbing out of his bed and grabbing your clothes from the floor.

“Leaving so soon?” Bucky asked you, his lips curling into a pout.

You sat on the edge of his bed as you slipped into your undergarments. “I was hoping to get a head start on some readings before my new roommate gets in at noon.”

“Studious much, doll?” He remarked. “Do I need to remind you that classes haven’t even started yet? You don’t have to go at full speed so early on in the semester. You’ll burn out.”

“But I’ve got a 4.0 to maintain and MCATs to prepare for. I’m sure you know that this year’s not a joke, James.” You clarified once you got dressed. “I have no time for distractions.”

“Is that all I am to you? A distraction?”

“I didn’t say that you were.” You giggled, crawling over to straddle his lap. “But you did keep me from studying last night so... yeah, I guess that does make you a distraction.”

“I really don’t want to distract you from doing well in school, so I’ll make you a deal. How about that?” He suggested, wrapping his arms around you and looking up at you with a genuine smile. “I’ll tutor you again this year... free of charge, of course. That way you don’t have to worry about that GPA of yours and you can have some fun without beating yourself up over it – which, I’ve noticed is something that you seem to do a lot.”

“If you wanted me to sleep with you again, all you had to do was ask instead of beating around the bush, James.” You told him with a cheeky grin, neither of them wanting to deny the attraction that you had been feeling for years. “But since you’re offering, I don’t think I could turn down a good tutor. You’re pretty much the reason why I made the Dean’s List my freshman year.”

You were well aware that Bucky Barnes’ reputation included not sleeping with someone more than once. The untold truth around campus included that he gives you your best night but he doesn't call you back. For some odd reason, you felt that your ordeal with James was more than just a one time thing. There was something about the look in his eyes that said he’d wanted more to do with you, and deep down you did too. For now though, you could definitely accept the sex and the tutoring sessions combined.

“Yes, we can be study buddies!” A triumphant smile was on his face as he hugged you tight, making you fall off of his lap and onto the bed as you laughed.

“It’s going to be freshman year all over again, isn’t it? But with the sex this time.” You pointed out as you climbed off of his bed. “I should really get going though. I do have some errands to run and I don’t want to get stuck in traffic.”

“I’ll walk you out.” He told you, climbing out of bed and pulling on his briefs. Grabbing his t-shirt from the floor, he pulled it over his head before turning back to you.“Are you sure you don’t want to stay for breakfast, Y/N? I think Steve should be up and making breakfast right now. His French toast is to die for.”

You shook your head. “James, you’re really taking the ‘shame’ out of my walk of shame.” You giggled, throwing your arms over his neck. “How about some other time?”

“You have nothing to be ashamed of.” He grabbed onto your waist and leaned in for a quick kiss. “I had a wonderful time last night.”

“Do you say that to all your other one night stands?” You asked him with a smirk, though you couldn’t deny that you had a wonderful time as well. Bucky Barnes sure did live up to his reputation.

“No, just the ones who are so beautiful, intelligent and hardworking.”

You couldn’t help but blush at that comment. “Flattery will get you everywhere, James.”

A hearty laugh escaped his lips as he tilted his head back, and you couldn’t help but notice how his eyes lit up at that moment. You had never seen him like this before.

Up until then, the James you knew only ever let you see his eyes when they were filled with lust. But after last night, he seemed a lot less rigid. You couldn’t deny that there was a certain sense of comfort that came with the physical intimacy that you had shared.

It was a strange feeling to say the least, but you were unable to describe it. For someone with a hell of a lot of trust issues, thanks to Margaret Sykes, you found yourself believing that you could put all of your trust in someone else on campus – let alone New York University’s resident Casanova.

“I always wondered why you chose to stay behind at NYU when you could have gone to Columbia with me.” Steve Rogers pointed out to his best friend who barged into the kitchen after bidding farewell to his recent one night stand, who happened to be someone he knew very well. “And now I know the answer to that.”

Bucky could not help but roll his eyes as he walked up to the kitchen island. A part of him was eager to let him know how right he was, but he knew better than to give Steve that kind of satisfaction. Confirming that you had something to do with him going to NYU Med would mean that he would not hear the end of it. The Casanova of NYU staying behind for medical school for a girl he had once tutored? Oh, the horror!

Sitting up on the stool next to his best friend’s girlfriend, he looked down at his plate of a full English breakfast before raising his eyebrow. “Good morning, you punk.” He chuckled before turning over to look at Peggy. “Good morning, Peggy. I hope I didn’t cause the two of you any disturbance last night.”

“Oh no, I passed out quite early last night. I’m still running on London time.” The woman pointed out as she took a bite of her breakfast. As she had spent the summer months across the pond with her brother, she was quite jet lagged. “And I’m sure that Steve’s gotten used to your wild nights while I’ve been away. Haven’t you, darling?”

“It’s your place, Buck. You can do whatever you want.” Steve fixed himself a plate of breakfast before walking around the kitchen island to take a seat next to Peggy. “But you and Y/N... I’ll be honest, Bucky. I never would have seen it coming.”

“Yeah, but you live here too. I just wanted to give you that respect and courtesy.” Chuckling softly as he picked up his fork to eat, Bucky nodded his head in agreement. “Believe me, I didn’t see it coming either. Y/N was not like the others, Steve. She wouldn’t sleep with me just because everyone else was sleeping with me and that actually made her stand out.”

“But now that you’ve slept with her-”

“Steve, there’s absolutely no need for you to be jumping into conclusions right now.” He cut him off. “I know that you’re concerned because she’s someone you know. But I promise you, there’s nothing else going on between Y/N and I.” He clarified. “We just slept together and I offered to tutor her for this semester because she’s thinking of taking the MCATs.”

But the blonde haired man could not get himself to believe his best friend that easily. “It’s not that I know her, Bucky. I know you. I know that emotional availability... Not your cup of tea. And Y/N seems like someone who wants something like that and I’d hate to see you ruin her.”

“Come on, Steve! It’s not like I would have had the time for my shenanigans once classes start back up again. Can’t a guy have a little fun before his first week of med school, pal?” He asked with a shrug of his shoulders, finally taking a bite of his food. “Besides, it’s not like I forced her into it either. She said she wanted it and I did too.”

“Consent is extremely important.” Peggy gave him a pat on the shoulder. “I’m so proud of you, mate.”

Bucky gave her a smile before turning back to his best friend. “I know I have a reputation, Steve, and I’m not always proud of it. But I’m trying my best to change my ways. I can’t keep going on like this and I do know that. You have nothing to worry about.”

“If you say so.” Steve nodded, smiling. “To be honest, I am kind of glad that she’s having a little fun. I’ve never met someone who had so much time on her hands until I met her. That poor girl used to sign up for eight hour blocks when volunteering for UNICEF while everyone else did one of two hours a week. Her commitment to the club was truly concerning.”

Bucky could not help but let out a genuine laugh at that. As he was well aware that you had sworn against having a social life after the Margaret incident, he understood why you would have spent so much time volunteering when you weren’t studying.

But he was also grateful to be able to get you to change your mind about having a little fun. After all, college was all about change and growth. And as it turns out, the two of you would get to grow up together.

Once you got back to your dorm, you had found the time to clean up your room and have a quick shower before your new roommate was due to arrive. But if first impressions were the best impressions, then Natasha Romanoff seemed to be one of the sweetest human beings you could have ever met. A few years older than you, she was a master’s student studying Global Journalism at Gallatin after completing her undergrad at UCLA.

One thing you knew about the Gallatin students: they were all about the self-study so you need not worry that your academic goals would be any different from your roommate��s.

“I’m taking a few classes here in the fall and finalizing my research proposal in the winter. Hopefully, I can land an internship with the UN for the summer months.” She explained. “I’ve always wanted to work for the UN, so the internship would be a great start to that.”

“If you’re interested in working for the UN, may I interest you in an executive position with the UNICEF chapter on campus? I am the current president of the club, because our last one graduated and went off to Columbia Med School. I could definitely use someone who’s a lot more... familiar with the organization being on the executive committee.” You suggested, laughing softly as you finally started warming up to her. “If you have the time, of course... I do know that master’s classes may be time consuming.”

“Oh no, I’m down for it. I was actually going to look into the club myself.” The redhead admitted, grinning widely. “I can certainly offer a few hours a week to help you out. Would you need me to apply for the executive position or is it free for all around here?”

“First off, I would have to put up an application on the clubs page and then promote the hell out of it during Clubs Week, which is the second week of school. I have so much to do and I’m getting ahead of myself here.” You clarified with a laugh. “But it’s yours if you want it. You’re certainly qualified for it.”

Laughing softly at your over-enthusiasm with running the club, something that she certainly seemed to identify with, she nodded in agreement. “Well, if you need me to help you out with anything, you know where I live.” She winked.

“Thank you, I appreciate that.” You smiled back at her, certainly relieved that you were getting along with your new roommate.

The first few weeks of classes had certainly hit you like a freight train. But juggling a full-time course load had become a lot easier than you had expected after a while; thanks to James Barnes and his genuine commitment to being anything but a distraction for you. Your weekends off had been spent studying together at the library – sharing an entire table in one of the quiet spaces, your textbooks and notepads spread out, along with highlighters and felt pens in primary colors.

Perks of his photographic memory, Bucky did not take as much time to retain the information as you did. So, once he had reviewed the study notes that he had already memorized, a majority of his time was spent helping you create your colour-coded flash cards. Your study dates were always productive, neither of you mentioning the other half of your ordeal until you had covered all of the material you needed to cover.

It was only when the two of you decided to call it a night and stepped out of the library did the man look over at you with a smirk on his lips. “Feelin’ tired yet, doll?”

You would shake your head as you walked along the sidewalk. “I think I’ve had a productive day. I think I deserve a little fun.” You would say with a blush, and the two of you would head back to your dorm, leaving Natasha to be sexiled to the common room. She never seemed to mind it though, since at least one of you was getting some action.

But even though the sex was good, school always came first to the both of you.

Following your biochemistry mid-term that morning, you found yourself trotting across campus to the Student Life office to begin your afternoon shift. Dried up leaves crunching under your converse as you skipped along the sidewalk, you let out a hearty breath to see the condensation rise to the air.

The sunny weather disappeared weeks ago, taken over by the chilly autumn winds. Halloween was coming up soon and the UNICEF chapter on campus had managed to run a successful food drive as the first campaign for the semester. You had been planning to drive the donations down to your nearest Feeding America facility that weekend. But for now, you needed sleep... or maybe a cup of coffee to get you through your shift.

As you entered the office, you quickly removed your denim jacket and hung it up on one of the hooks. Taking in the warmth of being indoors for a moment, you walked around the desk and sat down on the empty seat next to your co-worker whom you had been frequently scheduled to work with. “Hey, Wanda.”

“You look dead.” The woman pointed out in the midst of chewing a bite of her lunch, her eyes glued to the screen in front of her as she read through an email.

“I feel dead.” You admitted, laughing softly. A few days had passed since the last time you’d had a good night’s sleep, and now that midterms were over you were longing to finish off your shift and get some well-deserved rest. “And I’m so hungry. I haven’t eaten anything since this morning.”

“Want a bite?”

The familiar aroma of paprika drifted up your nostrils as she held her Tupperware container towards you, making your stomach growl. Your lips curl into a smirk as you before you shook your head. “No, thank you. I’ll be fine... I take it your boyfriend cooked for you again?”

She nodded, grinning widely. “It may have taken him a few tries but he’s finally mastered how to make chicken paprikash.”

“I think you’ve pretty much won if you’ve found a man who makes sure you’re well-fed.” You agreed, laughing softly before you the sound of the door opening made you turn your head.

You blinked your eyes to be rid of your exhaustion as you saw James Barnes enter the office. The smile on your lips growing wider as he approached you, you looked over at him with your eyebrows raised. But what caught your eyes wasn’t just the fatigue that was evident in his eyes. You also noticed that he was holding a brown paper bag and a coffee cup.

“Hello, beautiful.” He set down the cup and the bag on the counter in front of you as he came to a stop, his eyes not leaving yours as he spoke. “How’d it go this morning?”

“Pretty good...” You nodded, feeling your cheeks heat up slightly before you let out a yawn. “I think Fury’s being a little easy on us this semester.”

“That’s good.” He smiled at you before turning over to look at Wanda. “Hello, Maximoff.”

“Hey, Bucky.” The woman greeted him, her gaze returning to the screen in front of her as she took another bite of her lunch.

As it turns out, Bucky and Wanda had known each other through his sister. A brother from another mother, she’d called him when he had first stopped by the office to see you a few weeks ago. But he had been popping by every now and then, sometimes to drop off some study notes that you had forgotten and other times to bring you some food if you had mentioned that you had no time to eat between classes and your shift.

“What brings you here, James?”

“I just finished my last midterm for Anatomy this morning and I knew that you had your last one too. I thought you could use a little something to celebrate, maybe a little pick-me-up to help you get through the shift.” He replied, motioning towards the bag. “They’re the cannoli’s that you liked from that little Italian place in Brooklyn.”

A tired smile on your lips as you looked up at him; you reached over the counter to grab the bag. “Thank you. You’re the best.”

A soft grin on his face as he ran his hand through his hair, he gave you a nod. “I should get going. I have to pick Steve up from his exam. Text me when you get home, yeah?”

You nodded, your cheeks heating up as you watched him step away from the counter. “Yeah... bye.”

Once he turned around and walked out of the office, you reached into the bag to grab a cannoli for yourself. You could feel Wanda’s prying eyes staring down at you and you turned to face her. “Want a bite?”

Her eyebrow raised as she looked over at you, she let out a sigh of disbelief. “That was like the third or fourth time this month.” She noted. “If you’re really going to tell me that there’s nothing going on between the two of you, I’d say you should find someone who’s dumb enough to believe it, Y/N.”

You rolled your eyes as you swallowed your bite. “Oh come on, Wanda, it’s nothing!”

“I think you’ve pretty much won if you’ve found a man who makes sure you’re well-fed... Yeah, that doesn’t look like nothing to me, darling.” She told you with a rather mocking tone in her voice, and you could not help but let out a laugh at that.

#gabs1kwritingchallenge #aj writes #reputation #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky barnes x y/n #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes series #college!bucky #college au

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alostsock · 4 years

Text

Not now.

Indulging myself in plotless smart!Buck and secretlywenttocollege!Buck but also a lil angsty!Buck because... I have no self-control.

It had been a slow shift, and Hen and Chimney were sitting in the loft, Hen’s MCAT study materials spread in front of them. Buck came up the stairs, his latest book in his hand, and when he saw them his face lit up.

“Are you studying? Can I help? I love science!”

Hen looked up from her books briefly, giving him a tense smile. “Buckaroo... I want to say yes, but I’m really short on time.”

Buck frowned, confused. “Oh, of course. But I thought, Chimney’s helping, so I could -”

Hen gave him a sympathetic smile. “Buck, I love you, but this isn’t just cool science facts, sweetheart. Knowing that snails can sleep for three years isn’t going to help me with this.”

Buck’s face fell. “I know... I -”

“Right now we’re on organic chemistry,” Buck’s face brightened again, and he opened his mouth to speak, “so babe, please, some other time, okay? This stuff is hard.”

Buck blinked. “I... sure... yeah, okay. I get it.”

Hen let out a sigh of relief, coming up to give him a tight hug. “When all this is over I promise I will take you out for coffee and you can tell me all about everything you’ve been reading lately, okay?”

Buck gave her a strained smile. “Sure. I’d like that. I’ll uh... I’ll let you get back to it, then.”

Hen squeezed his shoulder gently in thanks, and went to sit back down at the table, turning her focus back to the material in front of her. Chimney gave Buck a sympathetic look. Buck tried to smile before turning his gaze away and heading to the bunk room.

Hen sighed as the door swung shut. “I hope he isn’t upset... there just isn’t time.”

Chimney patted her arm. “I’m sure he gets it. He knows you’re stressed. He just wants to help, that’s all.”

“I know. I wish this were something he could help with, though.”

---

Chimney knew that Buck had plans to have dinner with Maddie that night. His own shift ended a few hours after Buck’s, but he was hoping to catch him at their apartment before he left. He still felt guilty, remembering Buck’s downtrodden look as he walked away. He knew Buck was an adult, and that he would understand that they were tight on study time. He knew Buck would see, logically, that Hen didn’t have time to indulge his love of fun facts just then, but he still wanted to make sure that the kid was okay.

He was disappointed to find Maddie alone in their living room when he got home. Grabbing a beer, he sat down beside her with a sigh.

“Did Buck seem okay at dinner?” he asked carefully.

Maddie frowned, turning to face him. “What? Yeah, I mean... a little quiet like he sometimes gets when something is on his mind, but... he said nothing was bothering him, and he seemed otherwise okay. He ate, at least.”

Chimney nodded slowly. Buck tended to lose his appetite when anything was seriously wrong, so that, at least, was a good sign.

“Did something happen at work?” Maddie asked.

“I... not really. Nothing bad, I mean. Nothing work-related. It was a pretty quiet day, actually.”

“But...”

“But... I was helping Hen study for the MCAT, and he wanted to help, and I know he loves trivia and all that, but Hen hasn’t got much time to work on this stuff, you know? There just isn’t time to spare to indulge him, as fun as his fun-fact tangents can be.”

There was silence for a moment, and Chimney looked up from his beer to see Maddie staring at him curiously. She opened and shut her mouth a few times before slowly asking, “Why do you think he would go on a trivia tangent?”

Chimney shrugged. “I mean, I love that kid, you know I do, but... that’s what he does? Like, I know he’s not dumb, and that he likes to read, and that he’s got a truly wild number of interesting tidbits stored away, but... it just wasn’t the time for talking about how elephants can’t jump. We were going through chemistry stuff.”

Maddie raised an eyebrow. “Chim... Buck majored in biochemistry.”

Chimney blinked. “What?”

“Yeah... he has an honours science degree. Biochem major, math minor.” Chimney’s jaw dropped. “He even wrote the MCAT... and did pretty well to be honest.”

“What?”

Maddie frowned. “You didn’t know?”

Chimney shook his head. “I didn’t even know he went to college. I think... I mean I think I remember him mentioning applying once, but he has never, in all the years I’ve known him, ever talked about actually going. I just... assumed he didn’t get in, or didn’t go.”

Maddie shook her head. “He went on academic scholarship. He’s just... he’s a little weird about it, to be honest.”

“Why? Like why would he never mention it? It’s something to be proud of, not ashamed... I’d be proud, if I were him.”

Maddie shrugged. “I am proud of him. He just doesn’t like to talk about it, I guess.”

Chimney paused, another question coming to his mind. “Wait... you said he did well on the MCAT? Why did he switch to firefighting, then? Don’t tell me that kid’s actually secretly a full-on doctor...”

“No, no, he didn’t go to med school. I... he, uh... didn’t have a great last year of college, didn’t apply to medical school like he’d been planning, and then as soon as he graduated he was off to South America, to do... God knows what, if I’m honest. I think he bartended a bit, partied more than a bit... He’d send the occasional text, but then we kind of lost contact...” because of Doug, went unsaid.

“Wow. I... I didn’t know.”

Maddie sighed, getting up to pour herself something to drink.

“He’s... a lot smarter than he lets on, Howie. Sometimes I hear people making jokes, making fun of him for being dumb, and it doesn’t seem to bother him, but it bothers me. Especially when he doesn’t stand up for himself, or worse, agrees and jokes about it himself.”

Chimney felt guilt flood through him. He wondered if Maddie knew that he’d made a lot of those jokes himself. He’d have to apologize to Buck, the next time he saw him. In the meantime, “I’m so sorry, Maddie. I was definitely one of them. I didn’t know, and I definitely didn’t realize it bothered you. ”

Maddie shrugged. “I just... I worry about him... a lot. I don’t like the way he talks about himself sometimes. Especially... especially knowing some of the things he’s struggled with, in the past.”

Chimney nodded, taking her hand in his, interlacing their fingers.

“I promise, never again, okay? I’ll talk to him, and I’ll look out for him. He’s your little brother, so he’s mine too. Although, really, he was before I even met you. I shouldn’t have done it, and I shouldn’t have let it happen. I’m so sorry.”

Maddie smiled at him, leaning her head on his shoulder.

“Thank you.”

#evan buckley #maddie buckley #chimney han #smart!buck #fic

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orionlakehastodie · 4 years

Text

We Can Leave The Christmas Lights Up Until January

NA Modern Shirtbert AU

He was eighteen and too young to know that what he was doing was stupid.

She was eighteen and too young to care even though she knew.

“Let’s move in together.”

He’d been her friend for many years, a rival, a nuisance from when she was growing up. But somehow underneath all that, he became her Gil. The love of her life.

She was eighteen and young, but there were truths you knew no matter what age you are.

Maybe it’s your old soul, from another life, that knew with as much certainty as you did.

That Gilbert Blythe was the man she was going to spend the rest of her life with was one of them.

“Anne. Move in with me.”

So was there any other answer other than yes?

---

It wasn’t easy telling your parents who stood firm on values and virtues that you were essentially going to live in sin with the boy from the Blythe farm.

“You... you are not even... live together... with Gilbert!”

But she stood firm, because she loved him, stupid with it, brave with it, sure with it.

“I’ll marry him anyway. I’ll spend the rest of my life with him anyway. What difference does it make, if I start now or after college.”

Marilla wanted to ask how she knew, how she was so sure. But she had been in love with a Blythe boy from the Blythe farm once. And she knew, for a fact, that you love them forever.

"Oh... Matthew talk to her.”

Because she wasn’t a reliable source, not when it comes to Blythe men.

“Do you love him?”

“Yes.” She smiles then, everything in her relaxes, as if the mere thought of him, of loving him, was enough. For anything.

“More than I can say. More than I imagined.”

Which was saying a lot, she imagined her tragical romance and all... and she never thought it would be Gilbert.

“Then that’s all I need to know. Be happy my girl.”

She smiles and looks to Marilla, who sighs and raises her arms in resignation. She hugs them in thanks, and runs outside only to find Gilbert pacing a hole in her front porch.

She smiles when he raises his head and looks at her, the furrow on his brow ever present and she jumps into his arms. He smiles, tension easing from him.

He held her hand as he swore to Matthew and Marilla to love her. Not care for her, not be responsible for her, not be her chaperone. But simply to love her, and be there for her when she needs.

He didn’t ask for permission. Knew it was not his place. Knew Anne was not some product handed to him. She was a person, someone he loved, and he simply promised to love her.

She never thought she could love him more in that moment, but she did.

She loved him more and more with every passing moment.

---

He was eighteen and in love but she was a bed hog.

She had no respect, whatsoever for personal space.

It wasn’t the first time he shared her bed... well that was a story for another day, he thinks, with his ears turning pink and his naked torso feeling hotter than usual.

But he would usually leave at 2 in the morning to sneak out of her dorm bed.

He never actually slept a full day with her. Until now. And she was such a bed hog. Her arms and legs are splayed between them and he was pushed to the end of his side of the bed, without a stitch on his naked form, and she was heavily wrapped around the quilt, drool from her open mouth flowing onto her pillow.

She was beautiful like this.

So beautiful like this. His Anne with an E.

With a smile he carefully lifts the quilt and untucks it from her burrito form and she grumbles a bit, but remains steadfastly asleep.

Then he tugs her arms, pulling her closer to his chest, and cuddling her close, tucking them both in the quilt.

“You’re cold, Gil.”

She mumbles as she tangles her legs with his, and rubbing her nose against his neck, burrowing there.

“Whose fault is that?”

“Sorry.”

He chuckles and kisses her hair.

“Nowhere I’d rather be darling.”

She was fast asleep again but he savors the feeling of her against him.

“I love you.” He whispers against her skin.

“Love you. Go sleep.” She tightens her arms around him and he falls asleep like that, in her arms.

---

“No it was your turn to pay the electricity, Gil! I put up the bill on the fridge.”

“Well you know how it is with us and notes - your note fell off! You could have sent me a text!”

“You never read my texts! Not when you’re off with your pre-medicine buddies with that Dr. Ward!”

“No, Anne, you just didn’t charge your phone - again! Because you were out for so long with Cole doing the Lord knows what-”

“My study group doesn’t allow phones you know that!”

“This is 2019 not 1989 Anne!”

“What does that have to do with you not paying our electric bill!?”

He growled at her and she growled back.

There were days when they still fought bitterly with each other. But that was the way they worked.

It wasn’t always easy, living together, seeing each other at the best and worst of times - but he learned to be patient, he learned to communicate, to want to be understood, to work things out - even if it meant 2 AM fights in the bitter cold in their electricity-less apartment.

He sneezes and she sighs, anger forgotten as she touches a hand to his forehead. “You feel warm.”

He grabs her hand in his and lays his forehead on hers, huddling closer in his blanket to her.

“Sorry I didn’t pay the bill.”

“Sorry I didn’t call you about it. How was your exam?”

“It was okay... It’s ending soon, I know I’ve been absent lately but-”

“No Gil.”

She shakes her head and takes his hand, kisses it.

“We help each other, okay? This was a bad week, but we’ll work it out. I’m sorry I exploded... I just... you can hang out with me, I wanna hear about your stories.”

“Why, Miss Anne Shirley-Cuthbert, are you jealous of the amount of time I spend with my pre-med counselling group.”

“Maybe.”

He smiles and pulls her close. “If I can stay in this blanket with you forever I would. There’s no one else for me Anne. Now... about Cole.”

She giggles and silences him with a well timed kiss to his lips.

---

She loved him, truly she did, but as his MCAT drew near, Gilbert became more and more of a big fat slob.

Four years it’s been. Four years that she lived with him and it was never this bad.

He had clothes littered all over the place, she couldn’t find a pair of socks that matched, and his books were scattered all over their bed. Their wall was covered with hundreds of sticky notes and there was Gilbert, the love of her life, in his boxers, a pen in his hands, chewing away at his nail beds as he typed from a book he was reading.

She didn’t say anything, but continued to pick up his clothes and throw them to the bin.

During her thesis submission he was the patient one who picked after her, and now she was her to submit the favor. She would never have written her novel if he didn’t help her. If he didn’t soothe her moods. Force feed her when needed.

And now a publishing house wants to hire her and her life was beginning.

And she wanted to be the same support to Gilbert that he had been to her.

So she grumbles to herself, but she picks up his clothes and straightens the sheets, and presses a kiss to his unwashed head with his unruly mane of hair and he absently grabs her hand and kisses the palm before muttering away at his notes and books once more.

She smiles and decides she might as well do his laundry so she takes the hamper to their tiny wash area in their kitchen and she checks his pockets because Gilbert always has some piece of paper stashed there but then she turns one of the pockets inside out and out falls a turquoise box creating a huge thunk on the floor and her heart drops to her feet because she has seen that box before.

And with shaking hands she drops his pants and reaches for the box, opens it and gasps because there, right there, was his mother’s ring. Of the modest emeralds that reminded his father of his mother’s eyes.

The same eyes that she passed to her son. Her Gilbert. The love of her life.

“It was my mother’s.”

She startles at his voice and he was still in his boxers, with his feet bare and staring at her from across the kitchen foyer and love for him just fills her up. He smiles as the tears drip from her eyes and he kneels down to her, and clasps her hands in his, the ring in her hands.

“My father gave it to me before he passed. He told me he wanted to give it to me - to make sure, I remember how precious love is, and how I should value it - because I don’t know when it will be taken from me.”

He brushes her tears away, rests his forehead against hers.

“I knew, from the moment you hit me with your magic erase board all those years ago that you were it for me Anne. I loved you from that moment. And I never stopped. I never will. I know it has been fast for us... we lived together all this while, but that’s because I knew. There will never be anyone else for me but you Anne. My Anne with an E.”

“Oh, Gil.. I’m sorry it took me a little longer. But I love you. I do. Enough to put up with your snoring and you being the world’s biggest slob.”

He laughs and kisses her. And she laughs and pulls away.

“Wait! You have to ask me.”

“Oh, this was not how I imagined it. I imagined... well wearing pants for one.”

“Gilbert!” She chides him with a laugh but his eyes grow serious, and looks right at hers, in that way of his, in that all consuming, see through my soul, are you really here, loving me kind of way.

“Anne... I have to know... will you do me the honor of becoming my life mate?”

She smiles because he remembered, from that one conversation they had.

“Yes, Gilbert. A thousand times yes.”

And he kisses her and she knew... with every scar on her, she’d take this man to be her life mate.

---

It wasn’t always rainbows and sunshine.

She was busy as a writer - she had multiple deadlines, she lived on coffee and toast most of the time.

He was in medicine, he barely slept, he was always in school and there was a million hoops he had to jump.

They sometimes only saw each other on the weekends

Chores were left undone

Dishes piled in the sink.

There were a couple more times the electricity went unpaid.

But through it all they loved.

The Christmas lights stayed up until January because she loved twinkle lights, and loved the way they shines on his hair as they sat under the tree talking about their days.

They danced around the kitchen, and they ate out of the pan.

She still hogged the covers.

He still cuddled her even though she’s a bed hog.

She likes to watch him wake up, and would often absently kiss the top of his head when he’s buried in work.

He likes to read lying down on her lap as she read edits her editor sent.

This was their love, they made the rules. It wasn’t perfect... but it was theirs.

#shirbert #gilbert x anne #anne shirley cuthbert #gilbert blythe #amybeth mcnulty #lucas zumann #anne with an e

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