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chaoticace2005 · 1 month

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Spiders, their senses, and Angel Dust implications

I already screamed to @xxqueenofdragonsxx about this but figured I’d put it out there because I was doing research and I can’t stop thinking about it.

While we don’t know how canon it is to the show, this does have some implications for fanfics and is fun to consider.

Spiders don’t have ears. Or noses. Or tongues.

People have already made jokes about Angel’s lack of a nose, but it tracks with that fact. We also don’t see his ears, although we have seen his tongue (which, given he isn’t an actual spider there can be some allowances made.) Yes, he doesn’t have pedipalps to act as a substitution for his nose/tongue, but that isn’t the only place they can smell/taste things.

It’s their legs/feet(?). Their legs and bodies have sensory hair cells that allows them to detect vibrations in the air, as well as changes in electrical fields (which… Vox and Alastor implications? Can Angel sense them.) Humans hear via sensory hair cells too, but those are concentrated in the cochlea of the inner ear and surrounded by the outer/middle ear system (eardrum, etc.) Spiders don’t have that. They also have chemoreceptors that can smell and taste things.

Now, as someone who didn’t know much about spiders it’s cool to think about in terms of a character with some spider-like characteristics. But then I thought about this other aspect of Angel

His clothing

More specifically his constant usage of gloves/long sleeves/boots. We know he hates his spider feet, and yeah, the usage of gloves and his blazer can be to fit his style, but it’s also fun to think that maybe him wearing them is an active attempt to reduce sensory input? He’d still get some vibration input because the fabric won’t block everything, but it won’t be as direct. But since spider sensory organs aren’t localized like humans are, this could essentially be the equivalent of wearing a headphones. (Also do you really want to taste every single thing you touch?)

Which brings me to the second order of business: when he DOESNT wear his gloves. We do see him have to be bare for the camera, and if you consider him wearing clothes as a way of sensory modulation, he could essentially be forced to get all that input. Sensory overload would already be so ways in a place with so many sounds, lights, smells, etc. but imagine if you also have to do that when not used to such a level of exposure?

In humans there’s a condition called hyperacusis, which is basically a reduced pain and discomfort threshold to sounds. Some everyday ones can cause pain. Some neurodivergent people also have sensory sensitivities like that, in both cases sometimes headphones can help to reduce input.

The thing is though, if you constantly wear them you’re reducing your own threshold. It’s not recommended for people with hyperacusis to wear earplugs all the time because it makes them even more sensitive when not wearing them.

So, if you apply the same principle here, there is even more reason to consider the idea Angel would have some level of overstimulation just from not having his clothes on, combine that with the work environment, what he has to do, and the emotional turmoil of it all and that just makes it worse.

Which… with me anyways I’ve found when I’m too overloaded my brain tends to nope out and dissociate. So that could be what happens to Angel as well.

Then, there is one time outside of the studio we see him with uncovered arms and that’s the battle at the hotel.

Here, he’s wearing gloves but his arms are exposed. So it could be said that he’s allowing himself access to more input while also not overwhelming himself. He still has a buffer with the gloves on, but he also has heightened awareness for things around him.

Again, the amount of this actually being applicable in canon is hard to say. Sense we don’t know how spidery Angel really is (since again, he does have a tongue) and what level of research went into that aspect of their character designs. But I think it’s a fun thing to consider.

So uhhh… yeah. Totally normal about this all as someone who totally isn’t interested in audiology, hyperfixating on hazbin hotel, and neurodivergent myself.

(Update: there is now a fic)

#I would like to state that this post is based on 2 am research of jumping spiders and spiders as a wholes sensory perception #so if there is any wrong information feel free to correct me #excuse me while I combine my special interests in a post #hazbin hotel #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel headcanon #hazbin hotel analysis #hazbin hotel meta

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thelordofgifs · 1 year

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A Completely Objective Rating of Gil-galad Origin Theories

So! My Research(tm) has informed me that Tolkien conceived of at least four potential parentages for Gil-galad, last High King of the Noldor, at various points. This plothole/controversy/mystery is deeply, deeply funny to me, so I decided to make a post arbitrarily rating various Gil-galad theories and providing examples of fics where they appear.

Some disclaimers:

I am very very new to the silm fandom and also tumblr and don't actually know anything! so there is a very high chance something will go wrong here

in compiling this I was very much indebted to this post by @sweetteaanddragons and this one by @tanoraqui

your headcanons, of course, are extremely valid! no shade at all to anyone who likes one of the theories I’ve rated a bit lower, and thank you for doing your bit to deepen the controversy. the more Gil-galad theories the better

Unsurprisingly, this turned out LONG. I split the parentages into four sections: Part 1 covers supposedly canon/canon-adjacent Gil-galad theories; Part 2, popular fanon theories that I've seen in a variety of places; Part 3 will cover rare fanon theories that I've only seen basically once, and ideas I literally just made up myself.

Baseline assumptions I'm using:

The "historical record", in-universe, is primarily the Quenta Silmarillion which states that Ereinion Gil-galad was the son of Fingon; and other documents variously suggesting that he was the son of Orodreth or Finrod, or a descendant of Fëanor. Sources give him the additional names Finellach and Artanáro/Rodnor.

It's fairly widely agreed-upon that Gil-galad was an adult and the High King by the time of the Third Kinslaying, when he was based on Balar and came too late to Elwing's aid.

(This means I won't further consider some rather fun, cracky theories that are based on the argument that Gil-galad only became the High King after the War of Wrath. That seems like a slightly excessive amount of historical revisionism for my taste, when he's named as the High King well before the WoW.)

So, with those established, what makes for a good Gil-galad parentage theory?

It has to make the confusion in the historical record, in-universe, make some sort of sense. Would someone with this parentage have a claim to the crown? If not, do they have a solid motivation to lie about it? Providing a neat explanation for other aspects of Gil-galad's characterisation and the way he rules would also be a bonus.

A storytelling concept I call weird questions must have weird answers. Neat origin theories that "make sense" tend to score low on this metric. The Gil-galad controversy is funny and needs to be kept that way.

How narratively satisfying is the theory? Does it ruin anyone else's arc, or fanon I personally like? Then it's scoring low.

This is already so long-

Time for looking at the four canon-ish Gil-galad parentages!

Gil-galad son of Fingon and, presumably, some unnamed wife. This is rubbish. Makes no sense. Not a fan. No. Primarily, it is boring, the death knell to any Gil-galad theory. Also, Fingon is never actually mentioned to have a wife because he's married to Maedhros and, while textual ghosts are obviously common in the Silm, I find it slightly harder to believe that a High Queen of the Noldor managed to escape being named anywhere. You could, I suppose, argue that she died before Fingon became King, but I don't want to. The confusion in the historical record also seems unnecessary here, because Fingon's son would presumably have a pretty ironclad claim to the crown after his death and certainly after Turgon's. No fic recs here, I don't like this theory. 2/10.

Gil-galad son of Orodreth and brother of Finduilas. Even more boring, and also makes less sense. Was Gil-galad in Nargothrond during Leithian and up to its fall? In that case, why wasn't he mentioned at any point, and if he survived the fall of Nargothrond and escaped, why didn't he go after Finduilas? If he wasn't in Nargothrond by the time of Turin, we can at least forgive his failure to rescue his sister, but why was he sent away from Nargothrond when, prior to the building of the bridge, everyone believed it was safe - and why wasn't Finduilas sent away with him? Again, there's no particular reason for obfuscating this parentage, so it fails on that metric too. At least Artanáro/Rodnor is a good Finarfinion name. Fics which use this theory: What is Wrought Between Us by @nikosheba, which voids all these objections of mine quite nicely - Gil-galad son of Orodreth, adopted by Fingon and Maedhros! Also it's one of the most heart-breaking, beautiful, canon-compliant Russingon series around, go and read it. That excellent example aside, 3/10.

Gil-galad son of Finrod and (iirc) a wife called Meril. An earlier version of the legendarium discarded when Finrod was made childless. This is potentially my least favourite of the four canon-esque theories, because Finrod's childlessness is imo a fairly important part of his arc, and Meril was replaced by Amarië, to whom Finrod was very much not married at the time of his death. Pretty much the only positive is that, again, Artanáro/Rodnor suits well as a name for Finrod's son. I don't think many people like this theory - we need not consider it further here. No fic recs. 2/10.

Gil-galad descendant of Fëanor. By far the most intriguing and also most implausible canon-esque theory, and as I understand only from one early draft of the legendarium. But there is so much to play with here. If Gil-galad's father is one of the sons of Fëanor, he has a rock-solid reason to lie about his parentage. His claim to the throne is also dubious, because Maedhros abdicated on behalf of the entire house. This gives excellent con-artist Gil-galad flavours to play with. On the narrative/emotional arc metric, this one falls a little short, though. We don't need another descendant of Fëanor in the Second Age struggling with the dark and messy legacy of their family - we have Celebrimbor! And Celebrimbor's status as the last scion of his house, and how his eventual tragedy owes so much to his heritage, is very important to me. Besides, the house of Fëanor going from 7 sons in the first generation to literally just one grandchild is so haunting. On a more practical level, I also don't think Gil-galad reads as particularly close to Celebrimbor? They seem more "distant relations" than first cousins. On the other hand, if Gil-galad simply doesn't know who his parents are, a lot of these problems disappear. We can also double up a few textual ghosts by making his mother one of the unnamed wives - preferably Maglor's or Caranthir's, because Gil-galad son of Curufin feels. doubtful. Fics which use this theory: A Gift from Father to Son by @amethysttribble explores every single potential Fëanorian parentage which is very fun, for a value of "fun" involving "sobbing on the floor about how terrible all these people are". Check it out! Theory as a whole gets 5/10.

#silmarillion #meta #fic rec #gil galad

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dingle-dee · 9 months

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Hey serious callout time

Never thought I'd make this kinds post tbh

I first have to say please do not witch hunt, harass any of these individuals nor my account, I am only looking to inform you about the situation at hand.

If you try to witch hunt, dox or harass me you will be blocked. I do not condone any if that shit.

First of all must say this callout is about the recent AU appearing in the Pizza Tower Fandom called Asylum tower.

The AU compromises of peppino in a straight jacket commonly used to detain violent, unpredictable or malicious intending mentally unstable people, which on record has been used last in 1956. Peppino has a unamed mental illness similar to schizophrenia, psychosis and delusionry (despite the creator claiming he has none/unspecified*)

* which causes confusion with the straight jacket since if he wasn't mentally unstable why would he need a straight jacket

As someone who has experienced/ has had family who've experienced psychosis, delusionry and schizophrenia this is highly disrespectful and glorifying the aspect of Asylums and mental illness.

The creator has been harassed for these reasons exactly *either in a constructive or harsh way* but has either deleted all claims or come back in a non professional manner.

One of their posts which has now of today been deleted from their account had an untasteful way of handling the situation along with a disrespectful PTSD joke at the bottom.

I find it highly suspicious that someone would delete this covering up their distasteful way of handling things. And not actually point out the AUs many many problems

1. The term asylum isn't used anymore and is often associated with torturous conditions, unhealthy ways of coping and treatment and is only used in serious films/serious TV series and is glorified by hollywood. The term used now is mental clinic or just hospital in general.

The way they treat patients now is much better but from personal experience than I share with others and my family is it still torturous and brutal and half the time you end up worse or , worse case scenario the end doing suicide. So using this theming must be treaded lightly.

2. Straight jackets are no common place anymore and are mostly used In Hollywood as a way of dramatization of a scene in general and is a very unethical way of treatment. Using it for simple means like psychosis, delusionry or schizophrenia is like killing a thief for taking an apple. Unethical and a ill stereotype. In general not a fun cute wholesome thing and shouldn't be bounced around.

3. White padded rooms are are the stuff of movies and really padded rooms are torturous and not a fun thing at all that is not funny in a comic light that they re trying to portray.

4. The handling of this situation on the creators part is fishy at best, as I said one of their explanation posts was unprofessional and made a half baked joke that is honestly offensive. It seems like they are really try to play up the victim card here. I understand the feeling of being harassed since I have been under that light as well, I understand the stress but these posts/way of handling things from all parties has been a mess.

The creator has stated that some traits that the pulled are meant to be funny but they simply don't line up.

Claiming that a character isn't crazy but your clearly making them crazy in a straight jacket doesn't look good and is honestly doing the opposite for you.

Honestly these feel like cover up lies as well as dismissing the criticism given.

There's is nothing comedic about this au in its current stage, and honestly it should stay that way. The AU is distasteful all round.

People are dancing around this and making fanart similar to the clover kit situation. Only no one is acknowledging the larger image and only think at base value.

I'm pulling myself away now and anyone involved in the Asylum AU/ fanart chain please do some research/ please pull yourself away as well. This is not a quirky thing and never will be. If you condone this I'm not gonna block you but i will raise an eyebrow.

#dingus talks #pizza tower #peppino spaghetti #can it dingle #controversy

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daugterofthemoon · 1 year

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Hello dewdrops!

We got some progress! I stumbled across multiple LOA bloggers mentioning that you could enter the void state by commanding your subconscious.

Some of these bloggers + the posts I read:

@sixbrujeria

@voidprincessblog

@zen-shu

And I found @gorgeouslypink’ s post about using lucid dreaming to enter the void state.

Now, I’ve never lucid dreamt before, however I wanted to test this out.

So, I found the subliminal linked in gorgeouslypink’s post and listened to it a couple times- just going with the flow. I stopped listening when I felt ready to commanded my subconscious to make me aware of when I’m dreaming.

Now, I could choose between two options:

1. I could let the subliminal do it’s thing

2. I could just command my subconscious to make me lucid dream for fun.

I enjoy doing funny stuff, so you best believe I chose the second option. And I was successful. So successful, in fact, that I went ahead and lucid dreamt for a second night after the first time as well.

So needless to say, I think I’m gonna give entering the void through lucid dreaming a shot, because I find lucid dreaming fun in general. Like, it would be interesting to see how that would work, yk?

That’s also something to take into consideration- big sis advice: if you don’t find methods fun or at least enjoyable, why are you doing them? Manifesting is a lifestyle, and it should never feel like a chore. You might as well make it fun. Do the methods that resonates with you. Do what you find the most enjoyable and enjoy the ride, because you will reach your destination.

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bioethicists · 7 months

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Your post about how the clinical process surrounding mental illness and addiction was really interesting!

I wonder what your thoughts are about Housing First models and Common Grounds models? Because I feel like they speak directly to your points and provide the needs but also a structure that can be relied on if one wishes to change oneself.

my job as a research assistant is actually doing an evaluation of the benefits of a massive housing first project in boston! i am a fan of housing first particularly because i think everyone should be housed + the possibilities for life shrink dramatically the second somebody is unhoused, regardless of their substance use status. unhoused ppl are treated as less than human (sometimes less than animal tbh) in many spaces. i also have a personal investment because my brother overdosed in part because of the fact that he had been kicked out of his living situation for using + was forced to use with a depressed tolerance in a remote location. if he had been in a housing situation which was not contingent on sobriety, where others may have been present to narcan him or he would not have had the immense stress + trigger of dogshit menial labor jobs needed to pay the ridiculous, price gouging rents at sober living- i mean, i can't speculate, but it's something i do think about.

i think my hesitation with how it can be implemented is, again, the assumption that the end goal for everyone is recovery. my position is not "well some people can't recover" or "well some people can't recover until xyz is met" but "nobody is obligated to recover, ever, and recovery is a subjective concept which can be put to extremely reactionary uses. i want to reduce people's suffering and increase their possibilities for life."

i do think, based on my work, that it's really important for people who are using substances to have access to resources which facilitate their safety and happiness + a lot of them would probably choose either sobriety, MAT, or safer drug use habits if that was something which was easy for them to do. they often express genuinely felt desires to "get better" (in whatever way that means to them or whatever way they hope it means to me) but similar, competing desires to continue experiencing the benefits of their drug use, as well as avoiding the negatives of sobriety. while i chafe at the idea that all people's "true selves" want to recover (in the specific way that recovery is constructed by substance use treatment providers), i do think that most people want to suffer less. things like methadone/suboxone (or safe, legal, surveillance free supply!!!), medications provided on site, easily accessible, non judgemental medical treatment, etc can save lives.

it's important for ppl to be very skeptical of who is allocating/managing the resources for these interventions + their motivations. to be frank, i get scared about the future of the (admittedly imperfect) housing projects i work with because they are funded by the state of MA with the primary goal being to get ppl off the street, because housed members of the community were complaining about the encampments. the state very clearly wants to see that these projects 1) reduce the prevalence of visible homelessness and 2) reduce the rate of drug use among participants. my job is very explicitly to collect and produce data that indicates this + the questions i ask when i collect data are quite explicitly centered around figuring out if being housed makes ppl use less drugs. the point here is that the state absolutely can + will revoke the massive amounts of money it has allocated towards these programs if they don't see them as making people Stop Doing Drugs or Stop Wandering the Streets. this is why i think harm reduction responses should be grassroots responses originating within + for communities, as described in some of the chapters of Saving Our Own Lives. unfortunately, these communities rarely have the infrastructure or the resources to implement these projects, so they must rely on the state + all of its messy biopolitical motives

#anti psychiatry #substance use #overdose //

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katelynsimpsince2016 · 1 year

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Katelyn has BPD analysis

i love psychoanalysing my favourite characters whenever i am currently questioning my own mental state.

disclaimer!!

this is based off extensive research,, the people in my life who deal with this condition and my own personal experience. i very much doubt jess intended any of this but once i began to notice the dots connecting when it comes to katelyn’s behaviour and common symptoms of bpd my brain had to make this post.

i aim to have be as accurate as possible with the resources and knowledge i have at my disposal about bpd. if you wish to add anything or believe i’ve said anything inaccurate please feel free to say!

so finally,, without further ado…

1. causes

“If you get a BPD diagnosis you're more likely than most people to have had difficult or traumatic experiences growing up, such as […] losing a parent” - Mind.org

in her early years,, katelyn’s mother left her and the rest of her family,, leaving them poverty stricken and in a single-parent household. losing a parent in any context can be deeply traumatic,, especially if the child does not have the right support systems and/or has to fill the role of the parent themselves. losing an attachment figure can increase a child’s poor psychological well-being,, changes in behaviour and mental health issues. although we don’t have much information,, losing her mother most definitely negatively affected katelyn. this is amplified by the fact this happened roughly during her preteens where a parent’s death is more likely to have a significant effect as the child and parent would have developed a close bond by then.

with what information we have on how elizabeth’s disappearance specifically affected katelyn suggests that there was a refusal to move on. it is said that she would throw tantrums whenever her father planned to be with another woman. this shows that katelyn was likely one of the most affected out of her entire family by this trauma; whilst the rest of her family attempted to move on with their lives katelyn was still stuck in the moment where she first learned that her mother was gone. she was stuck in the trauma. a fear of abandonment was instilled in her and her father disrupting the walls she had made would throw her into a state of distress. witnessing her father treat other women the same way he treated elizabeth possibly even triggered a return of the past trauma of losing her mother.

katelyn describes these episodes as “tantrums” a common way to phrase bpd episodes when the person experiencing them is undiagnosed. without the proper tools to address and control these episodes katelyn likely was left to process it all herself. this would have added to her complex trauma as a mishandling of an episode can also be a form of trauma. having no idea why not only your mind but your body is having such a violent reaction and your cry for help is being met with even more mishandling only leads to the problem becoming worse. if you struggle with any kind of mental disorder and your symptoms aren’t being questioned this will negatively affect you. these outbursts are usually cries for help in some way or another and them being simply ignored only digs the hole deeper.

with all this said katelyn does state that she eventually overcame her grief and was able to move on. we see that the grief over elizabeth’s disappearance does not affect her nearly as much as it once did as an adolescent and is no longer debilitating. but at what cost?

2. emotional instability

“If you have BPD, you may experience a range of often intense negative emotions” - NHS official website

one of katelyn’s most defining traits is her intense emotions,, usually extreme anger. in the early seasons of mystreet we see her snap and become easily irritated with people,, even with her friends. when she displays emotions such as panic or rage it is always extreme. furthermore,, violence is usually the next step as she regularly threatens the people around her and even sometimes goes through with it.

an important note to make is that those who struggle with bpd are not inherently violent. not in any sense of the word. however,, this does not mean people with bpd cannot be violent,, whether this is a byproduct of their bpd or something else. katelyn is someone who i think is violent because of her intense emotions brought on by bpd. she is not equipped enough to deal with these and consequently,, let’s it out on other people. no one has questioned why she acts like this and so she doesn’t find an issue with it. her problematic behaviour has been so normalised and the people around her are seemingly used to it,, aphmau and nana mostly notably so.

Nana: “Oooh you know Katelyn~Sama… she just likes to get in a snarky remark. She does that… a lot… to our customers at the restaurant.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 1

nana and aphmau do not take any notice of katelyn’s behaviour,, simply brushing it off as her being well - katelyn. this shows that she’s been like this for the majority of her life,, long enough for her two closest friends to consider it normal. her knee-jerk reaction is defensiveness and fury and it’s a habit that goes deep and is ingrained into her.

it is deep in her veins,, so intrinsically a part of her being that she cannot be separated from it; the people around her quite literally solely associate her with wrath. this passive acceptance of this toxic trait likely enables her behaviour,, preventing her from healing. although she mentions that she does meditation it cannot replace actual professional help. she doesn’t appear to have enough self awareness to keep herself in check that she ends up hurting others in an irreversible way. but that’s for later on.

another example of her extreme emotions is her anxiety.

Katelyn: “Do you not remember high-school? I always freak out before tests.”

Travis: “Oh yeah. But you usually passed so why worry now?”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 23

although anxiety over exams is common, travis points out that katelyn has been repeatedly successful in tests so this worry seems to be a lot more like paranoia than simple nervousness. katelyn feels like her whole world is ending and is completely frazzled.

Katelyn: “There’s no way I can [calm down]. The test is in 10 minutes - I need more time.”

no amount of rationalising will make the situation any less stressful for her. she only experiences in extremes; in terror and alarm and not simply nervousness and worry. on top of this,, she doesn’t appear to have any proper coping mechanisms for this outside of meditation. no grounding method. no breathing technique. she either lashes out or freezes up. for a character who when it comes to picking between fight or flight usually chooses fight she has a pattern of being so overwhelmed by her emotions that she cannot function. her brain’s rationality is drowned out by anger,, anxiety,, sadness whatever she’s dealing with and all that is left is pure instinct.

3. impulsive behaviour

“Impulsivity is regarded as a clinical, diagnostic and pathophysiological hallmark of borderline personality disorder” - PubMed.gov

impulsivity in the context of bpd is thought as usually being something of the like of drug misuse or unprotected,, risky sex. however,, it can also present as less extreme actions (although still harmful) like binge-eating or going on a spending-spree. impulsivity in someone with bpd goes deeper than individual reckless actions and can affect the personality of the person. for example,, maybe they’re charismatic and charming or dramatic and seek thrilling activities. this all can actually be tied back to lower impulse control.

i bring this up because although we don’t see katelyn acting impulsive much,, her true symptoms may be more clear in her personality and this does happen in those with bpd. for example,, katelyn is playful with her friends and has flirted with quite a few people. her flirtatious behaviour doesn’t seem to hold much meaning,, however,, usually being meaningless. this kind of attitude to love and relationships is an example of how reckless behaviour in bpd can affect someone’s personality and day-to-day life. in episode 31 after a chaotic string of events due to zane and aphmau faking a relationship whilst zianna visits,, katelyn ends up stepping in and lies about her and aph being in a relationship and even goes as far as being willing to kiss her. all of this is obviously in jest but that is the key issue here. to katelyn it is a joke,, nothing serious. she appears to be much more comfortable with the idea of romance and intimacy than having a genuine and raw connection with someone.

in this episode once zianna is told this lie by katelyn she encourages katelyn and aphmau to kiss. aphmau is flustered and is made even more distressed than she already is whilst katelyn immediately leans into it.

Katelyn: “Well, if you insist.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 31

again all of this is casual but the fact that she gives less than a second of thought before agreeing to this clearly implies how lightly she takes the situation. it’s superficial at most. not in the way that she has no desire for intimacy but more so that she doesn’t view it with the same meaning and significance as someone else would. as a result,, this leads to her impulsivity.

this recklessness,, especially when it comes to romance,, comes to a climax when katelyn kisses travis in an attempt to prove a point to lucinda.

Katelyn: “Because he doesn’t deserve a kiss from you. Plus you’re terrible at kissing.”

Lucinda: “Excuse me but I am amazing at kissing… because I have a potion for that.”

Katelyn: “Pft let me show you how it’s done.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 34

katelyn promptly kisses travis and doesn’t realise the implications of what’s she’s done until a good few seconds later. in response to travis reading the kiss as a declaration of love she immediately punches him and runs off,, denying any meaning behind the kiss. she doesn’t realise the implications of what she’s done until it’s laid out right in front of her.

a lot of her impulsive actions seem to be done to prove herself or a distraction from reality. when egged on to prove her confidence or superiority in some way she lunges at the opportunity. she doesn’t critically think about the effects this may have on others or the general aftermath. if it seems like fun to her she won’t hesitate to do it. this ties into her general lack of care for other’s feelings in these situations. when she pretends to be aphmau’s partner and when she kisses travis she causes both of them to be flustered,, clearly not thinking about how her words/actions affect those around her. although these instances are not severe she shows a pattern of disregarding people’s feelings. she isn’t self centred per say but her impulsiveness leads her to not register the severity of what’s she’s doing. not until it slaps in her the face.

4. intense and unstable relationships

“To split something means to divide it. Those with BPD tend to characterize themselves, other people, and situations in black and white.”

- healthline.com

splitting is when a person with bpd alternates between extremes of idealization or devaluation. the key part of this is the exaggerated and rapid change in perception of a person or situation. this usually applies to relationships,, causing the person with bpd to have a distorted view of their partner,, seeing them only in the best or worst possible light. sometimes this derives from projection,, pushing their negative view of themself onto their partner. this black and white can destroy relationships as the person with bpd is consumed by their distorted thinking whilst their partner is left in the dust.

katelyn exhibits this black and white thinking very clearly. she antagonises people like zane,, refusing to get to know him and disregarding any possible positives about him. in contrast,, she adores her friends like aphmau,, thinking only good of her and defending her at every chance. she clings onto quick-second first impressions of people and doesn’t let go even when she’s been proved wrong. very rarely does she feel neutral towards someone,, either loving them and showering them in praise or despising and only thinking the worst of them.

this is shown when aphmau asks her to be nicer to zane and she refuses to change her stance.

Katelyn: “Um.. I think you already know the answer to that. You know he and Jeffory don’t get along and Jeffory is my friend. So no.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

even if she may not have a negative experience with someone personally if someone she trusts and values doesn’t like someone she will automatically share that same opinion.

this kind of black and white thinking doesn’t appear to massively negatively affect her relationships as she appears to have enough rationality to keep her thoughts to herself. however,, this awareness that good and bad can exist together in one seems to falter when it comes to her relationship with travis.

from the moment that katelyn meets travis her view of him is engulfed him in negativity

Katelyn: “I also bet you didn’t know what pain was until I-“

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

in their very first interaction katelyn punches him. without any thought or remorse she just hits him. however,, this first instance of abuse is somewhat understandable as he approached her by flirting which reasonably and justifiably upset her. travis is the one mainly in the wrong in this situation,, even if his flirting is mostly humorous.

what appears to anger katelyn specifically in this context is that nana appears to be ignorant to travis’s inappropriate behaviour.

Nana: “Katelyn-sama that’s not nice. Travis has a broken heart and needs more chocolate!”

Katelyn: “How blind are you Kawaii~Chan? He’s just trying to smooth talk you!”

this passive reaction to travis’s behaviour is a pattern throughout the series. no one particularly appears to have a problem with his comments or flirting. but katelyn does. everyone else doesn’t feel uncomfortable around travis and her friends expect her to feel the same. her discomfort around travis is undermined and minimised again and again,, played off as a joke.

an instance of this is when in an attempt to distract katelyn,, lucinda teleports travis into her home.

Travis: “Oh- what the- where am I? I was just about to take a shower and… heyyy Katelyn.”

Katelyn: “What the- Travis?! Lucinda you said….”

Lucinda: “I said I wasn’t going to use any spells on you. You said nothing about a teleportation spell. Oh, and don’t bother to smack Travis I put a temporary spell on him to prevent physical injury.”

- Mystreet Season 1: Episode 28

this is presented as lighthearted fun between katelyn and lucinda. just another instance of two friends trying to annoy each other. very clearly,, katelyn wants nothing to do with travis,, even despising his presence but she is forced into the same room as him repeatedly whilst all her friends laugh at her. it’s no surprise that she reacts with violence.

this is in no way to excuse her actions but her abuse towards him grows more and more extreme because she’s being constantly taunted by those around her. her own friends push her buttons with no regard for how she feels and treat her like a rag-doll. both travis and her have been pushed onto a stage,, all eyes on them and forced to play caricatures of themselves. the only difference is that whilst travis appears to live off the attention katelyn cracks under it. she smashes to the ground and shatters into a million different pieces. and they all aim towards travis.

where katelyn’s behaviour veers off from being simply weirded out by travis to physical assault and abuse is when she starts taking out all her of anger on him and him only. it goes from her only hitting him when he flirts with her to when he even utters a word.

this is why her behaviour is so toxic because it seems she begins to want to hurt him for merely existing. she already has a history of allowing this black and white thinking to harm those around her,, even those she cares about,, and her own self-destruction turns into destruction of others. too blinded by her own anguish and suffering,, she doesn’t realise her wrongs and that she’s hurting people.

why she likely doesn’t see her mistakes is because she’s been told all her life that she’s dramatic and overreacts. as i said previously the mystreet cast brushes off travis’s harassment and pushes katelyn to be in situations with him. despite what her friends say,, she doesn’t believe that she’s in the wrong to be suspicious of him and stands her ground. but that doesn’t mean their words don’t affect her. her friends’ lack of understanding worsens katelyn’s mental state as she feels misunderstood by her own friends. this leads her to grow suspicious of them and ignore them. at every turn she’s told that’s she overly aggressive and no one attempts to even comfort her or try to understand why she doesn’t like travis.

on one occasion when she displays this distrust she is only met with mockery.

Lucinda: “I assure you it wasn’t any potion I used.”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 25

on the surface this may not appear that malicious but it’s the fact that this isn’t the first time someone has brushed off katelyn’s concerns is what likely pushed her over the edge. cutting back to when travis first moved in nana does not listen to katelyn and defends him.

Nana: “Katelyn-sama that’s not nice. Travis has a broken heart and needs more chocolate!”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 15

but despite her seeming hatred for travis katelyn is revealed to actually like him. sprinkled through season 1 and 2 katelyn is shown to have some sweet,, soft moments with travis; moments where her perception alters and it appears that she tolerates at him and at times is even… fond of him.

this is called splitting.

this flip-flopping between hating and loving travis is not due to her discomfort being an ‘act’ or her being ‘dramatic’ instead it is as a result of her own distorted thinking. most of the time she only views travis in absolute negativity and disgust. even when she appears to tolerate to him she treats him coldly and considers him with suspicion.

Travis: “H-Hey Katelyn, these flowers are for you.”

Katelyn: “Oh… thanks.”

Travis: “Y-You looks beautiful….”

Katelyn: “What’s wrong with you?!”

Travis: “Why, can’t a guy be nice?”

Katelyn: “No suggestive remarks? No trying to get close with me? No looking at my butt?”

Mystreet Season 1: Episode 25

however,, as per the nature of splitting,, there are times where she thinks the complete opposite of him. during season two when travis suddenly appears katelyn initially regards him with a lot more care and kindness,, especially after shoving him off from atop a building.

Katelyn: “Travis, you really worried me.”

Mystreet Season 2: Episode 7

this drastic change is a clear indication of splitting and its effects. in a very short amount of time katelyn goes from completely despising him to seemingly harbouring romantic feelings for him. this juxtaposition only confuses travis and worsens their relationship as katelyn continues to stick to her black and white view of him,, without any communication.

this all comes to a climax at the end of season two where travis finally confronts katelyn for her mistreatment of him. travis admits his own faults and puts out a hand to katelyn,, asking for a fresh start between them. all that is left is for katelyn to own up to her mistakes too.

Conclusion

do i think all of this was intentional? no. do i think it’s a justification or excuse for katelyn’s toxic and abuse behaviour? definitely no. am i emotionally drained after writing all of this? yes

hope you enjoyed reading !

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intersectionalpraxis · 3 months

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I saw a recent reply you made to an ask. I am not sure your reply and the content of the ask completely relate.

It seems like the ask was stating that the reason countries pulled funding from the UNRWA was because of accusations that some UNRWA employees were connected to Hamas and other attacks.

The screenshot the ask refers to eludes to the funding of the UNRWA being pulled because of the ICJ ruling.

UNRWA funding WAS pulled because of accusations of employees connect to Hamas and other attacks. (The screenshot does not list this as the reason for the lack of funding.)

UNRWA funding WAS NOT pulled because of the ICJ ruling. (Meaning the screenshot would be displaying misinformation.)

The misinformation in question would be the reasoning behind the pulled funding, which (the reasoning), was not because of the ICJ ruling.

I hope this makes sense? I don't know if i worded this in a way that makes sense.

The ask:

"Hi, you made a post including screenshots of several twitter posts. I was doing research on the UNRWA, and it seems that countries have pulled funding due to an accusation that some UNRWA employees were connected to Hamas and the attacks that happened on October 7th. The suspension of funding does not seem to be related to the ICJ's ruling, as one of the twitter posts in your post stated. I included a screenshot of the post I'm talking about. I'm not trying to embarrass you with this ask; I'm just letting you know that some of the info in that post seems to be wrong. A lot of people are reblogging it, and I just wanted to try to stop accidental misinformation from spreading."

I'm still so very confused here.

Cutting funds to UNRWA is form of collective punishment -doing this to already vulnerable Palestinian people fleeing IOF relentless bombings and attacks -will only continue to make things worse. I recently posted a Norwegian Foreign Minister referring to this as such.

I also included the clip of a former Israeli official Noga Arbell saying that in order to "win this war" that the UNRWA must be destroyed -it is very clear to me and many allies and Palestinian voices and activists online that this was not coincidental. The IOF has also already attacked UN buildings... what more do you need?

How reliable is "Israeli intelligence" to begin with when they have been lying consistently. I talk about this on my blog a lot, and I have addressed this MULTIPLE times. The IOF still refuses to admit they bombed hospitals (al-Ahli is the first major tragedy in Gaza -where nearly or slightly above 500 people were either injured or killed). OR another time when they said Hamas had a secret headquarters in a house where in a library they found a 'Mein Kampf' in ENGLISH, or another time they pretended to give 'aid' to al-Shifa hospital when those boxes were clearly empty. There was also the instance of them lying about finding a 'Hamas headquarters' in an MRI unit (where no electronics are supposed to be) -and this was covered by Rolling Stones recently which showed there was in fact NO base there, and the IOF lied about it.

What about when the IOF said Hamas slaughtered 2 Israeli children in their homes -we had forensic scientists online debunk this immediately with their blood spatter pattern analysis and teeth analysis. Lets also not forget the times they always tell Palestinian people it's safe to go to 'X' area and then they bomb and attack those areas (Deir al-Balah is one I can think of most recently). Horrific -absolutely horrific things the IOF has done and lied about. And the fact that MANY western and European countries are aiding, funding, and supporting this genocide is flabbergasting. And multiple people are still in my inbox telling me I'M SPREADING misinformation?? As though western and Israeli propaganda isn't the real issue here.

So I, and many people are just supposed to believe that what they claim to be is true in the first place when the zionist entity does benefit and gain from lying -and even if it was, does it justify collectively punishing millions of civilians?

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loganscroftersstash · 4 months

Text

hi guys mitzy here. back with a fucking BANGER post

with all the discussion about the finale and the video that released (that made me like cry) i figured now is as good a time as any to share my theories on the finale!!!!! keep in mind i am stupid and some of this may not make sense so, my bad in advance. also, spoilers for the newest life update video (if that needs spoilers, but just in case!!!)

1. i think the main driving event (based off the last asides and general details we know about c!thomas) is maybe c!thomas diving too far into the relationship too fast (i.e. telling nico he loves him, if i had to guess). roman is very obviously over excited, we know patton has little self control, and with c!thomas’ mental state it’s not irrational for him to cling on to any good thing that comes his way like a vice.

2. orange time. i know there’s A Great Divide™ between the orange side is anger/orange side isn’t anger debate but i honestly have to agree that i don’t think he’s anger. it feels too on the nose. i mean, so many thought roman’s anti was going to be pride and look where we ended up with that. it feels too easy to assume he’s anger. i’ve been doing a lot of discussing with my pals in the sanders fanders discord server and some other ideas could be insecurity, regret, someone even said addiction (bc logan is. totally normal guys), like there are SO many options that would make sense that aren’t anger.

3. i think orange’s name is going to be argos. this is mainly because of all the eye symbolism we’ve had with him and argos is heavily associated with being “all-seeing”. we also know the team absolutely LOVES their greek names. i have the least support for this but i also like it because its cool as fuck. also i did the least research for this like. ages ago so take it with a grain of salt. also, (apparently) in the greek testament of the bible (which we know thomas and the team love) argos is used to refer to leisure/being free from labour sooooo…. that’s cool…….

bye love you all!!

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #logic sanders #virgil sanders #anxiety sanders #remus sanders #dark creativity sanders #roman sanders #creativity sanders #morality sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #deceit sanders #mitzy analyzes #ts spoilers #ts orange side #ts orange

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nexility-sims · 9 months

Note

what's something you'd like to see more of on royal simblr?

the timing of this was brilliant, actually, because i had been thinking for several days that i would like to make some sort of entirely uncalled for, roughly edited psa post about What I Think Royal Simblr Needs To Prioritize More :^) anyway, you also touched on this in your own answer, so it’s an echo of that too :^) it's very long, but i had a lot to say about the topic i've chosen. i should also preface by saying that it's not meant as a blanket negative statement or even an objective prescription; it's just based on my own observation and anecdotal experience.

in short, royal simblr needs more cultural diversity !

there are two big reasons why i feel this way: one, the entire premise is suspect because it so easily verges into uncritically reproducing and whitewashing an awful institution; and two, cultural diversity is actually more engaging and interesting than a community that feels monocultural (esp when said culture is a hegemonic colonial product whose dominance is based on plunder, oppression, and destruction of both entire peoples and the planet itself).

personally, i want to be part of a community where folks are 1) actively curious about the wider world and its cultures and 2) comfortable incorporating their own cultures in their stories. it’s true that the bias is perhaps partly because many royalty references in the real world may not have great english sources for a predominantly english-speaking community to use. but, i don’t think that’s a get-out-of-jail-free card. i am absolutely not a person who likes to consciously write myself into my stories, to be clear. that being said, i do ask myself, “what experiences or knowledge do i have that deserve representation?” we write our stories for ourselves but, frankly, i would venture many of us have internalized messages that make us devalue our own backgrounds or doubt others will be interested in content outside of the often white, often western mainstream. in my experience, the royal simblr community places high value on researching and replicating the norms of contemporary western european royalty—particularly the british royal family. the truth is that same care and respect could be put into other histories and perspectives, if the motivation existed to do so.

so, another approach, beyond drawing on your own experiences, is doing the research to respectfully depict or be inspired by a culture that isn't your own. the onus for representation cannot be squarely on the most marginalized of us, even if we'd likely produce the best version of it. if i had chosen to write a story about a fake british royal family, i'd have felt guilty about not writing a story full of brown people from the americas; that representation wouldn't really exist if i wasn't making it for myself. consequently, culture shifts require everyone to do their part, whether as creators, collaborators, or readers. i'd also venture that most of us appreciate when outsiders believe our cultures are valuable and beautiful—when they want to know or experience our clothing, food, and music in ways that are not fetishizing, exploitative, or appropriating. that's part of why tumblr is filled with guides and tutorials to writing characters from all walks of life, from ethnicity to disability to gender; the resources exist, and people want to see them used. it doesn't even have to be your entire story ! individual characters or plot lines can give good representation if you make that a priority.

in my own story, i've blended the two approaches. i think about my own, my family's, and my friends' experiences of indigeneity in what's currently the united states; i've also blended it with my interests in iberian and latin american histories, especially indigenous mexico, among other elements closer to u.s. history. my story isn't a direct replica of any real world place or people, but the culture is based on imagination, research, and feedback. if someone has a critique or feels offended for whatever reason, i want to be humble enough to accept it and make changes. one of the amazing things about this corner of tumblr is that our community loves to help others. learning in public—experimenting, sharing parts of yourself, being creative—is never easy, but it's easier to do when you're part of a community that offers grace and encouragement. my opinion is also that people are more willing to share their expertise and welcome your work if you demonstrate, not just good intentions, but that you've done your homework to the best of your ability.

i want to be clear, too: there's a place for storytelling as conscious critique of the institution, and there are storytellers in this community whose cultures happen to be the ones that are overrepresented. this isn't an indictment of the good stories and good fun people are having. i'm just taking this as an opportunity to offer constructive criticism and give people the encouragement or permission to try something different. why not use your creativity to incorporate other sources of inspiration—or to imagine a different and better world, even?

at the end of the day, everyone can do whatever they want with their hobbies. we can't all be doing social justice on simblr dot com and, frankly, probably shouldn't be ! it is nonetheless true that some of us don't get to enjoy our hobbies uncritically. we can't log onto tumblr and scroll through sims stories and be blissfully unaware of the politics of representation. "royalty" doesn't just connote pretty tiaras and fancy titles for all of us. people who are marginalized in the real world are part of this community. its representation signals to us how welcome we and the stories we have to tell really are.

most or all of us are imagining our countries to be part of the same fictional world. it's just my personal opinion, but i don’t think that world should be mostly fake europe plus specifically the settler colonial parts of fake non-europe. my challenge to everyone would be to think about whether your story could or should meaningfully contribute to a fuller, more realistic representation of the world we've created as a collective within this community.

#these are my thoughts & feelings #we all have blindspots & i don't wanna like #turn simblr into a job for anyone or w/e but #sometimes it feels like we have the world at our fingertips #& too many people default to what's under their nose u kno #if u feel attacked do not @ me bc i do not care !!!!!!#anyway this is my essay & i wrote it w/ love for the community #i am part of it after all :^) and there's great work here :^)

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analoghorrorexplained · 11 months

Text

Analog Horror Review: UrbanSPOOK

[ Warning, this post will contain spoilers for the work of media mentioned in the title. This review will also contain mentions of upsetting topics such as the SA and SA of a minor. Please read at your own risk]

It has been awhile since I have made an analog horror review since, well, there have not been many series I have seen that has caught my eye. But, while I am not really “dazzled” by the newer content being put out there (minus Vita Carnis). But... despite me not really finding much of what is being released right now interesting... I found myself unable to not say anything about the series above.

UrbanSPOOK is an analog horror series detailing the exploits of an extremely violent serial killer who leaves paintings at the scenes of his crimes. That is it. The horror from this series is actually a little different than what we are used to since instead of something paranormal or extraordinary happening all of what we are seeing happen is caused by a presumably normal (although extremely deranged) man with no other extraordinary traits. In a way, this makes urbanSPOOK more realistic than some other series. Things like this could very well happen (and probably are happening) in our real world. This is more or less the extent of the plot. Each video is set up to be a VHS recap of the crimes of this serial killer recounting in detail how this serial killer murdered these people in the most violent way they could. And in each video, the paintings left behind by this person are shown.

I watched the entire series which was not hard to do since each video was under 5 minutes long. And I did not like what I saw.

For one, as many others have said, UrbanSPOOK does not really use the actual genre of analog horror that well. While I can tell the creator put some serious effort in those paintings along with research involving the methods of killing: the series itself is more reminiscent of a slideshow. There is no reason this could not have been any other type of horror or even just a series of twitter posts providing backstories for these paintings. These videos dont seem like PSAs since they do not state what organization they originate from or any other specifics like the dates these murders happened, approximate locations, or any other details that really give us a time or a place. With the analog format, you are supposed to be using analog formats of media to tell a story. This can take the form of a channel hijacking, old TV ads, old children's shows, PSAs, or radio broadcasts (among others). While the channel says the videos we are being shown are from supposedly “old VHS tapes”, they do not even show the old VHS grain or distortions most tapes have and, again, lack a lot of the information we already went over. There is no time frame for events other than “2 months ago” or “4 months ago” nor is there a location, or even any organizations we can trace things back to.

If this is supposed to be a PI or a family member of a victim raising awareness, why are they detailing the killings in such crippling detail when the focus should be on catching the guy doing this? If this is meant for police eyes only (which would explain the graphicness) why is there a number at the end of the video? If this was made by the killer, what would be the point in doing this when they are already leaving behind paintings at the scene? And if this is a news network: all of the above is still true but why is there no secondary voiceover? Why are they showing the paintings when those paintings do not help identify the victims and are evidence? Why are no specific locations being mentioned other than “the lighthouse” or “a mine”. At least with series like Gemini Home, Vita Carnis, Local 58, and Mandela, we have some sort of base location we get to be familiar with. We know why the story is being presented in analog format. It makes sense because the story is set in a time where that is the only format available. We have clues. This isnt giving us anything other than the phone number. And the phone number only tells us that the series takes place in Louisiana, near New Orleans, and is sometimes during of after 2001 since that's when that area code was introduced. And even then, DVDs were introduced in 1996 and surpassed the sale of tapes by 2003. This isnt to say people did not use VHS after 2001 but by 2008 everything was mostly switched over to the DVD format.

My point is: the story does not make a lot of sense in the format it is. Either the creator is having this take place in the early 2000s which... I guess can work but then begs the question of the phone number. But if its before then: the phone number itself is a massive continuity error.

That is not the only issue I have with the series though.

Sexual assault, themes of genital mutilation, and pedophilia are also pretty common or at least are openly displayed in the series. Grant it, these are traits the killer is shown to possess. These are not things being inherently endorsed or promoted. However, what I do take issue with is the fact that the series lingers a little bit too long on describing these acts and the violence that results from them and not really much else. While the series creator has stated multiple times on now-deleted tweets that he does not view himself as “having limits” in regards to his series and makes this mostly for shock value: I do not think this should excuse just how haphazardly the subject of SA is handled. Almost every episode of the series has something that is either blatantly rape or can be interpreted as a form of rape somewhere in the episode. And a lot of these scenes also involve children, mutilation, or the abuse of animals as well. This is in almost EVERY SINGLE EPISODE. And once again, these are all described in sickening detail.

Other than being “gross and disturbing” it serves no narrative purpose just like it being on a VHS doesn't. If this was supposed to make us hate the villain: we already have gotten to that point I think. If anything, we have gone well past it. But what also bothers me is that these themes also pop up in the creator's other work. This same issue is a near-constant thing with the other work they put out. I am not accusing the creator of anything, lets be clear on that, but it is not a good look to admit you make content for shock value, have SA be a main theme in your work, and then make a lot of art also about SA and the SA of kids while also selling the painting your in-world serial killer made of a SAed murdered child as merch.

If you want to address some dark real-world subjects, do that, other places have (for example the SCP foundation or Mandela). But doing that and describing the most graphic rape scene you can think of are not the same thing. Not only is it lazy, it just makes your series into torture porn. It serves little purpose. And when that is a majority of what you talk about: I am inclined to think you have more of a darker connection with that topic beyond using it to simply advance your art. Again, this is not an accusation, just an observation from what is public.

Overall, between the fact this series fails to really live up to what “analog horror” actually is and lacks any story beyond “here is this guy, he kills people in really violent ways, he leaves paintings behind, and did I mention he does fucked up stuff with their genitals” and it does not progress beyond that. It is edge-fodder without a coherent story or point for existing beyond being disturbing. The only thing that makes this series interesting is the fact its a person doing this and not a monster but after recent episodes even that is questionable. The fact that a teenager who spends a little bit too much time on Liveleak could have written this tells me its not worth following further. The horror here is the fact that something this seemingly loved by other people is this terrible in terms of execution and its ability to convey a point other than “look, a mangled human body I may or may not have SAed, be afraid”.

Over all I give this a “For the love of god try harder, and no not in that way/10″. While the art is well made, I have no idea why this series gets praise when it fumbles this badly at everything it tries to do. This could have been so good, why is it so bad?

And analog horror community, get better standards if this is the “new standard” of the genre. This is laughable.

#ubranspook #analog horror #analog horror explained #analog horror review #horror #tw: sa mention #tw: mutilation #urbanSPOOK

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listen-to-the-inner-walrus · 10 months

Text

since i seem to be becoming a titanic guy, ive decided to just lean into it and explain the best i can, in laymans terms, what happened to titan and why the design had been criticised by experts in the deep-sea diving community.

i will preface this with the fact that im not an engineer. i have a psychology degree so this is not in my wheelhouse; im simply attempting to relay the information that has been made public in a more layman-friendly way. if i get anything wrong, please correct me.

a second preface is that quite a lot of this post is relying on oceanliner design’s video on this topic. though hes less critical of oceangate than i am, mike does a great job of breaking everything down so anyone can understand it. [any statements i make without listing a source are likely to be information from this video]

so with that out of the way, lets jump into it:

first, lets talk about what titan was. ive seen it described as a submarine by many people and im pretty sure ive also described it as such, but titan was a deep-sea submersible with a guiding philosophy of simplicity.

whats the difference between them?

submarines are self-independent vehicles meaning they do not rely on exterior support.

meanwhile, submersibles can submerge and can act independently to an extent, they primarily rely on exterior support such as being tethered to the mother-ship, or in titans case, receiving navigational inputs from said ship.

and here we meet our first bit of criticism; almost all other submersibles do not rely on external navigational inputs. they have their own equipment and systems for this. it may seem trivial, but as oceanographer peter girguis points out, these systems are as important for navigation as they are for the safety of the crew. [x]

when you are in water that deep, you need to know your exact position and be in constant contact with the mother ship. and its not as if oceangate did not have access to this technology, the beacons they use are commercially available. instead, they relied on short texts as a form of communication which is simply unacceptable. the submersible limiting factor has real-time verbal communication between those in the sub and those on the mother ship on dives 27,000 feet deeper than the titanic wreck.

“titan [did] not appear to have some of the other kinds of sensors, beacons and other systems that we use in research, that are also important just to maintain contact.”

“titan was not designed with research in mind.”

most deep-sea submersible designs are based around the design for the dsv alvin as it was one of the first of its kind. you might ask why its alvin that designs are based around and not another. well that would be because alvin was launched in 1964 and is still in use today and has completed over 5000 dives.

and this is why so many in the deep-sea submersible community are so outraged at titans design. titan was around 5 or 6 years old when it imploded; alvin is 59 this year. we have the technology to create submersibles like alvin or limiting factor that are arguably safer to be in than on the deck of a ship [x]; this disaster should never have fucking happened.

okay, so now lets move onto the actual design of titan which differs very much to most other deep-sea submersible and this is not a good thing. the reason most designs are so similar is because these features have been shown time and time again to be safe. again, ill refer to what peter girguis stated:

anyway, ill get back on topic. this is alvins design:

alvins pressure vessel is a large sphere with titanium walls that are 2 inches or 5cm thick. titanium is used as it is a very strong metal as whathisname from 2012 sang about, and a sphere is used because its the best shape for equally distributing pressure. when designing these vessels, you do not want any areas where pressure can build up and a sphere does not have any; the entire structure reinforces itself.

unlike literally every other deep-sea submersible, titans pressure vessel was not a sphere and not made of titanium, rather it was cylindrical with two hemisphere on either side and was built out of carbon fiber. see the shape below:

the important part is the big circle labelled “personal sphere”. this is called the pressure vessel and is where crew and any equipment needing protection from the water pressure reside. this vessel needs to be able to withstand around 6000 pounds or 3 tonnes of pressure per square inch, which is about 400 times the pressure on the surface.

if they had followed previous designs, they would have had to make a much larger sphere in order to fit everyone. but the bigger you make your sphere, the weaker it becomes so you then have to use thicker walls, and all of this makes the pressure vessel much heavier. and this is where youd run into problems because the submersible still needs to be able to plucked from the ocean at the end of the trip and to power itself in the water. the heavier it is, the harder this becomes.

first, well address the shape. as the design philosophy of titan was so that it could carry up to 6 passengers, it would have been very difficult for the pressure vessel to be shaped as a sphere. alvin, in comparison, can only fit three crew and equipment.

so instead, they chose a cylinder. this is not a terrible choice by itself. it is preferable to use round shapes in high-pressure environments as pressure builds up in corners, especially right angles. if youve ever wondered why plane windows have round corners, its because the square windows on the de havilland comet (the worlds first jetliner) gave areas where pressure could build up and caused the jet to suffer a series of explosive decompressions. it crashed many times. [x]

now, well get into where the design really has problems: the materials used. as i mentioned, the majority of the pressure vessel was made of carbon fiber. the ceo of oceangate, stockton rush, believed that carbon fiber would have a better strength-to-buoyancy ratio than titanium, and this was one reason why it was chosen. [x]

so in terms of shape, its not the worst choice. it is much preferable to use a sphere as a cylinder is not as adept at equally distributing pressure, but their choice was at least logical.

on the end of the cylinder, there were two titanium rings bonded to the carbon fiber hull (though the method of bonding is not publicly available), and these rings were then bolted to two titanium hemispheres. now, you might notice that titan does have four right angles in the pressure vessels, but these are within the vessel so as long as no pressure can get into vessel, these are fine.

the problem with this is that carbon fiber is an experimental material that has not been fully evaluated. stockton rush was very aware of this as he was repeatedly warned by many experts in the field, including deep-sea exploration specialist rob mccallum who stated that:

“that carbon fibre is not an acceptable material”

if this occurs, not only do the gaps give areas for pressure to build, the pressure vessel becomes much weaker, and runs the risk of failing as happened. this risk only gets worse when you decide to use expired carbon fiber.

now, you might be saying “kai, you literally told us earlier that they did use titanium” and if you are, A+ to you my friend, youve led us straight onto another problem with the design of the titan: using multiple materials.

one major concern about the carbon fiber for the hull is that it had to be layered up and cured in between until the hull was 12.7cm or 7 inches thick. these layers cause a problem that titanium does not have; there is a risk of de-lamination, aka the layers separating. as previously stated, the titan was several years old so it had already gone through many pressurisations and dive cycles which all run the risk of de-laminating the hull.

and this, ladies and gentleman and those of us past that stage, is why deep-sea submersibles use titanium not carbon fiber.

by designing titan like this, stockton rush strayed ridiculously far away from any other designs which have been tested and shown to work. the submersible was not safe to travel on, especially so far down to be able to visit the titanic wreck. as rob mccallum states:

you just dont do it. by introducing areas where multiple materials meet, you are introducing potential points of failure because well done, stockton, youve introduced yet another area where pressure can build up.

“[titan] was the only submersible in the world doing commercial work that was unclassed. it was not certified by an independent agency.”

in fact, it makes sense to go through the process because you then know that your vessel is safe and idk, its probably better for marketing if your vessel has been certified as safe.

mccallum goes on to describe stockton as a “maverick entrepreneur” who wanted to think outside of the box even when it comes to things like the rules of physics or tried and true engineering principles.

and im sure we can all guess why. it wouldnt have passed and the company has recognised that the design lays outside of the accepted system. though its not a mandatory process even though it really fucking should be, theres no reason to not let your vessels be examined by a marine organisation.

we know that the hull was breached. we know this as one of the very few safety features aboard titan was something known as a “real-time hull health monitoring system” or an rtm. [x]

and he is completely right because what happened to the titan showed how the design of it was so flawed. [x]

“if you steer away from sound engineering principles, which are all based on hard won experience, there is a price to pay, and its a terrible price”

this did what it said on the tin and it did before the catastrophic implosion of titan. when the rtm picked up on too much strain on the hull, it sounded an alarm as a warning. those on board were prepped so they knew what this meant so they used one of the other few safety features on the sub: dropping the ballasts.

ballasts are heavy material gathered in the bottom of a ship or vessel to help stabilise the ship. you use them in order to stop a ship from becoming top-heavy as a top-heavy ship is much more likely to capsize; see the ss principessa jolanda that sank at launch as she launched with all her fittings completed and empty ballasts, causing the center of gravity to be too high. some ships have port and starboard (left and right) water ballasts and if theyre listing dangerously to one side, they can release the water in that ballast to attempt to stabilise the ship.

this, again, is an area of criticism as most submersibles have multiple features that can be used in an emergency. marine geologist, chris goldfinger points out that most submersibles have multiple ways of self-rescue, such as detaching the pressure vessel from the sub itself. [x]

in the case of the titan, dropping the ballasts was the only way the ship could surface in an emergency. it appears that those on board attempted to do so, but did not surface quick enough to avoid catastrophe.

“[titan did not have] nearly that much redundancy and self-rescue capability."

“im concerned that they [oceangate] overlooked some of the features that we build into research submersibles, because they struck [the builders] as costly or unnecessary, or uninteresting. a lot of those features that we see across submersibles have evolved over decades, precisely because they work, and because we know it increases safety for the crew.”

"i have grown tired of industry players who try to use a safety argument to stop innovation"

hes also stated that titan was underprepared which most experts in the field agree with, such as girguis who stated that:

and we know that stockton rush was aware of all these issues; email exchanges show that people at the company came to him with concerns, but he brushed them away. instead, we have statements from him like:

he heard warnings from employees and from deep-sea submersible experts, and a former employee david lochridge alleged in a counterclaim lawsuit in 2018 that he was fired for raising concerns over quality control and testing of potential flaws. [x]

keep in mind that oceangate originally sued him for breach of contract because he brought all of his concerns to osha because he was that concerned. though, this was settled out of court, it clearly shows that this disaster was years in the making.

“it was only a matter of time before they killed somebody.”

as victor vescovo stated:

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atrustfulplace · 10 months

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KOSA Info

(this post is long as fuck sorry)

Recently i’ve been seeing a lot of stuff about KOSA (Kids Online Safety Act) on tumblr. And a lot of it seemed pretty extreme. and so i read the bill! turns out that most posts (i’ve seen) were both right and wrong so i’m gonna try and explain what is up with KOSA To make it clear this bill still sucks ass and you should talk to your reps about it.

(disclaimer: there is a reason i am a history major and not pre-law. i may have missed something or not understood some of the greater meanings of the bill. take what i say with a grain of salt)

The two biggest things i’ve seen is that 1)the bill will ban all queer content for everyone in the US. and 2) websites will be shut down immediately for having content that is considered unsafe for children

The bill will not ban all queer content because the bill is not proposing to completely sanitize the internet. here’s the target of the bill in its own words:

“The term “covered platform” means a social media service, social network, video game, messaging application, video streaming service, educational service, or an online platform that connects to the internet and that is used, or is reasonably likely to be used, by a minor.”

which yeah is like a massive chunk of the internet. It’s also where almost all lgbt+ content is. what people are seem to be thinking is that this type of content will be forcibly taken down. it won’t, but it will be censored for anyone under the age of 16. this is because the bill proposes that online platforms have to put on default settings and parental controls for users they suspect or know are 16 or under. These settings would censor pretty much everything. it is then up to users to turn these settings off. the problem with that is the age verification. the bill proposes no way to actually do this. it just says that self reporting doesn’t count and that the cite has to look at someones data and try to see if they’re a minor or not based on what is essentially vibes. But the bill says there needs to be other ways besides the vibes thing. what that looks like i don’t know but it probably won’t be great. once those settings are off though all the gay porn is at your fingertips.

to address the second misconception websites like ao3, tumblr or whatever else won’t immediately shut down. they can be taken to court if they don’t comply with the extremely strict new rules though.

now to address the things that i saw in the bill that has me worried.

the first is the sexual exploitation ban. most of it is pretty good but there is one word that immediately set of red flags: grooming. as most of us probably know recently conservatives have constantly been using the term grooming in relation to lgbt+ people. this means that in certain states all mention of queer people might be censored for 16 under. The other issue with this i’ve seen no one talk about is proper sex education. for example is an informational channel or blog that teaches sex ed banned from its target audience for “grooming” them into having sex? i don’t know but i think it’s a very real possibility people haven’t been talking about.

The second is the new restrictions effect on smaller websites. facebook instagram and other extremely popular for profit sites will probably have no problem putting in these default settings and parental controls but other sites that don’t have the money to completely rework the site may be put out of business or taken to court. (there is an exception with sites that have less than 10,000,000 users but it’s for a data research thing not the censorship)

the third concern i have is data. on one hand the bill would make it so minors data can’t be sold, which is awesome. the problem is is that there will be extremely intense monitoring of data for everyone. (to be honest i know next to nothing about data but it sounded invasive from what i read)

my fourth concern is that i think this will without a doubt decrease the quality of life for lgbt+ teens. there won’t be spaces anymore for kids to discover their own identity and no place to talk about it with others.

the last one i caught was video games. i have no idea how you censor games on the internet that surround violence. like it’s impossible, 12 year olds will be stuck in their Fortnite lobby and can never play the game. i have no idea how they plan to do this one.

To sum up this bill sucks but it’s doesn’t suck in all the ways you think and also sucks in new and exciting ways! talk to your rep, this bill is bad.

#kosa act #censorship #ao3 outage #lgbt #congress #united states government #ao3 #lgbt rights

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obliqueblade · 5 months

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Desert Duo- Superhero AU Chapter 2

Chapter 2 Is finally here! (cross-posted on AO3)

Cute Guy’s POV

Cute Guy was sure Hot Guy had a death wish. The proof of this statement?

He had absolutely no survival skills. Truly it was a miracle he had lived as long as he had. If Cute Guy had the time, she’d spend weeks researching just how in the world Hot Guy had managed to keep himself alive. Honestly, though, even if they did have the time, Cute Guy was not sure if the possibility of Hot Guy having clones was low enough for them to feel comfortable running the experiment. Knowing Cute Guy's luck, that would be the case, and that was frankly a world too horrifying to imagine. One was enough to give Cute Guy nightmares, there was no need to bring more into the case.

“Hot Guy! Are you immune to instinct or just that crazy,” Cute Guy yelled sitting up on top of Hot Guy. Why on top? Well, circle back to ‘Hot Guy had no survival instincts’ and as a result must be tackled sometimes out of danger. Now would it have been possible for her to keep them safe without having to tackle them out of the way?

Potentially, yes, but that was not the point.

Cute Guy is now sitting on top of Hot Guy. No, she wasn’t… stuck on that fact, it just happened to be the truth. Nothing more to note. Most certainly not something that was taking up a decent portion of her attention. Nope, not even with him smirking up at him, with strands of his brown hair escaping the tie at the base of his neck.

She rolled her eyes as Hot Guy stared up dazedly, before moving to get off. As adorable as Hot Guy could be, Cute Guy was not really looking for another photo op from the press. She had been made fun of enough for the first time, and while Hot Guy most definitely got into more heat for it, Cute Guy could not allow his flock any more ammo against them. He could already hear the chortling of Mumbos laugh now.

Although, the first one had been extremely cute, and Hot Guy was extremely fun to mess with, seeing as how easy it was to turn his cheeks red-

Shaking his head, Cute Guy banished that thought.

Nope, nope, nope. His heart was already spoken for, and besides, she wouldn’t be like those fans who couldn’t separate the person from the job. Nope, she liked their tentative partnership as it was, and did not need to make it any more difficult later. They could stick with this casual flirting and nothing more for the foreseeable future.

“Hey, I’ll have you know I’ve never had any issues before you started joining me,” Hot Guy stated playfully throwing a hand up to be lifted off the ground. Cute Guy smiled, grabbing hold of the hold and lifting him before pulling his face closer in the same movement. Hot Guy’s eyes darted back and forth between Cute Guy's eyes and his mouth, Cute Guy noticed.

“Are you saying you get distracted by me, Mr. Hero?” she asked tilting her head, letting her pink wings lift her up to get closer to Hot Guy’s now burning face. Hot Guy’s eyes darted wildly as he blinked up at her.

“Umm,” Hot Guy started eloquently before Cute Guy laughed releasing his hand and moving back. Maybe the reason Hot Guy had survived as long as he had was just due to the fact that he was adorable.

“It’s okay Mr. Hero, I am Cute after all,” she giggled and winked behind her heart-shaped glasses before turning away and back down the alley ignoring the sputtering frozen hero. As adorable as he was though, Cute Guy was determined to continue to mess with him. Balance the universe and all that.

Originally, Cute Guy had been handling the massive mobs appearing in Upper City on her own, before Hot Guy appeared claiming he was there to help. As adorable as it was, the ‘help’ seemed to come from Cute Guy making sure the hero didn’t get them both blown up. If Cute Guy had not already despised the Hero Association, she would definitely be questioning their judgment in not only allowing Hot Guy to be a hero, but the number 1 hero.

“Hot Guy, are you really meant to be helping right now or did you just miss me?” she called back while aiming one of her pistols at the creeper that had steadily been making its way toward the two.

“Can’t it be a bit of both?”

Cute Guy rolled their eyes before turning and firing at another creeper further down the alley. As cute as it was, the situation was less than ideal. Creepers were best fought from a long distance, or at least in the open. It was bugging Cute Guy slightly though, that rather than perch somewhere and shoot down into the alley where it would be safer for Hot Guy, the hero had decided to march straight into the alley. There were a few reasons that they could have decided to do this, the least likely is that he wasn’t aware of what creepers did. It was basic knowledge that creepers exploded if you got too close and as self-destructive as the hero had proven numerous times over the years, he wasn’t that dense. So then why?

The alley that the two had found themselves in was dangerous. Long, narrow, and with a dead end right behind them. If they weren’t careful they could get boxed in and cause an explosion. An explosion with this many structures around, so closely packed together would cause major destruction in the nearby areas. Cute Guy could only hope that there were some heroes nearby who had evacuated the nearby citizens.

“Well, Mr. Helpful, unless you can figure a way to get out of this alley you’re not going to be much helpful to anyone,” Cute Guy pointed out gesturing to the four more creepers that had started their way. Hot Guy smirked pulling an arrow from his quiver and aiming down the alley.

“Oh please, I’ve got this,” Hot Guy stated assuredly before firing down the alley, hitting one of the creepers. Dropping his bow slightly he turned his head to wink up at Cute Guy.

“See, totally hande-”

“Get down!” Cute Guy yelled lunging at him and pulling him back just as the creeper exploded. The blast sent Hot Guy and Cute Guy hurtling down the alley. Immediately, Cute Guy's back erupted in pain, burns scouring up his back and shoulders. Wincing as the blast ripped several feathers out of place, and searing the rest. Hot Guy slammed into the dead-end wall hard, and Cute Guy grimaced at the sound of the impact.

Behind the buildings croaked ominously, as a deep rumbling began behind Cute Guy. Hesitantly, Cute Guy spared a glance back as the buildings' groaning increased. Alarmed, Cute Guy raised their wings, wrapping their arms tighter around the dazed Hero. Ignoring the immense pain that shot through her wings as she did so, Cute Guy pulled Hot Guy close and began to shakily fly up to get out of the fallout area. If they stayed where they were, they’d be crushed to death. Wouldn’t exactly be their finest moments, though Cute Guy wasn’t sure if it would breach Hot Guys 10 ten ‘not finest moments’.

If Cute Guy allowed herself to go out that pathetically, she’d never hear the end of it.

With every flap of her wings though, they seemed to grow more and more unsteady and weak. There was no doubt that straining them as much as she was was only going to worsen them in the long run, she pushed the thought aside. Right now, this was their only way of escape. Focusing her gaze entirely on the sky above thorough, Cute Guy resolved to ignore the pain. Hot Guy stirred slightly in his arms, and if Cute Guy had any faith in the Old Gods, she might have sent a prayer begging that the hero remain still until they could get out.

But she knew better than to rely on them.

Pieces of the buildings began to rain down, and Cute Guy groaned at the extra strain of having to dodge the crumbling projectiles. Quickly dodging left, Cute Guy focused entirely on plotting a course safely out of the debris field. Carrying the unconscious hero, and trying to navigate the now extremely hostile environment was proving more challenging than Cute Guy had wanted the day to go. Ducking underneath a rather large part of the building, Cute Guy's eyes widened as they realized they were running out of places they could go, more and more of the building pieces were falling in larger sections.

Glancing down ensuring the hero was still in fact unconscious, Cute Guy weighed the odds. As the pieces grew closer, though Cute Guy knew there was no other choice. While risking their own life was something they had no qualms doing, they wouldn’t risk Hot Guy’s.

Closing his eyes momentarily, Cute Guy reached deep within himself tugging at one of the numerous threads within him. Threads that she hated, and suppressed more than anything, no matter how much they demanded to be seen. To be used. Opening his eyes, he was thankful for the pink-tinted glasses that hid his eyes. He knew it would be obvious up close, and the eerie purple glow she knew her eyes were giving off would raise alarms within the Hero Association.

Alarms that Cute Guy would rather they not be aware of.

Without loosening her grip on Hot Guy, Cute Guy glared at the falling pieces, slightly pushing them away to create a wide enough gap for Cute Guy to shoot the two of them through while bringing her wings close to her body. They shot through the gap, clearing all the debris as they did. Relaxing slightly, Cute Guy aimed them to the closest stable rooftop preparing for a nasty landing. As they crashed into the roof, the grasp Cute Guy had on Hot Guy loosened and the hero went rolling several more yards in front of Cute Guy before coming to a stop, still unmoving. The hero's back was to her, and Cute Guy ignored the many doubtless scrapes now littering her elbows and knees.

Cute Guy herself raised herself to her hands and knees, finally suppressing the powers within herself, before raising her head to check on the hero. Shaking her head and determinedly not checking on her wings, Cute Guy crawled over to the hero to ensure he was still breathing. Rolling him over from his side to his back, Cute Guy placed two fingers on his neck, only relaxing when his pulse still beat strongly.

Letting out a breath, Cute Guy didn’t realize she was holding, she sat back on her haunches and stared up at the sky. Relaxing his wings, proved to not help all that much, but still Cute Guy refused to check. Knowing nothing good would await them by looking, they were more worried about how Jimmy was going to react to his wings. That would not be a pleasant welcome home.

“Ughhh,” Hot Guy groaned intelligently, raising his hand to his head before squinting one of his eyes open.

Cute Guy stared down at him, unimpressed.

“So in my defense, I did not know that they could do that,” Hot Guy defended covering his eyes with his arm. Cute Guy almost wanted to laugh at how quickly the hero knew why the stare had been leveled at him, but more than anything Cute Guy was glad the hero didn’t seem to have sustained any brain damage. No more than he already had at least.

Instead of issuing a response, Cute Guy just laid down on her stomach next to the hero.

“Can’t exactly fault you for not knowing. It’s a new “feature” they added to them in the Lower City.” Cute Guy mumbled, angrily remembering how only a few short months prior the newer versions had emerged. Countless citizens had died before people had figured out how they were different from the original, and even then the destruction they had caused was limitless.

Immediately, Hot Guy shot up, “What do you mean a “new feature? How do you even know they’re in Lower City?”

Dumbfounded, Cute Guy stared over at the hero.

“What part of avian did you miss? Of course, I know what happens in the lower city.” Cute Guy started plainly. And to be fair, what kind of question was that? All hybrids, at least with the hero's knowledge were on the other side of the wall. Cute Guy should be the only exception to that rule that Hot Guy would know about. Hot Guy fixed him with his own unimpressed stare.

“Well, obviously, I know that, but how do you know like recent stuff, if you’re on this side of the wall? You’d be seen immediately if you were crossing the walls repeatedly.”

Cute Guy only laughed, before sitting up themselves. Of course, that was the theory the Hero Association had come up with to explain how Cute Guy was getting into the city. At least that meant that her secret was still safe.

“Well I obviously don’t cross every day, that would be a lot of traveling, but I have my ways to get back and forth, Ways I’m afraid, Mr. Hero, I will not be sharing right now.” Cute Guy explained laughing slightly. No doubt whatever Cute Guy told Hot Guy would make its way back to the Hero Association. While they would no doubt eventually uncover her identity, Cute Guy wanted to cause them a bit more trouble before then. She, after all, still had work to do.

“As for your second point, there have always been new features added to the mobs on the other side of the wall. Upper City has just gotten lucky it has such a … dedicated Hero Association to protect them,” Cute Guy practically spat out. Hot Guy winced at the clear hatred in the vigilante's voice, and Cute Guy almost felt guilty. It really wasn’t Hot Guy’s fault what the Hero Association had done, and he had no real way of knowing regardless. Still, sometimes her resentment leaked through that understanding.

“You really don’t like the Hero Association do you?” Hot Guy asked hesitantly.

“It’s a mutual thing” Cute Guy answered immediately, not fully ready to delve into just how they mutually hated one another. Sparing a glance over at the hero though, Cute Guy quickly added, “You’re not too bad though,”.

Immediately, the hero brightened at the compliment.

“Awee see I knew you liked me!” Hot Guy exclaimed lunging at the vigilante, throwing his arms around them to pull them into a tight embrace.

As the hero's hands brushed over his wings and back, Cute Guy let out an involuntary yelp as the pain seared through him once again. They had almost been able to forget about the burns and feathers she had gained during the explosion. Hot Guy immediately jerked back, rescue mode engaging, before turning the vigilante slightly to inspect why she had yelped in pain.

Cute Guy watched Hot Guy’s face drop as he inspected what was doubt a gnarly sight. Belatedly, Cute Guy wondered if she should have just left immediately after ensuring the hero was in fact alive.

“That bad huh?”

At the question, Hot Guy’s eyes darted to Cute Guy's face, and even behind the tinted visor, Cute Guy could see the guilt and worry in his gaze. Brushing the hands off of her shoulders, Cute Guy rose to her feet.

“Wait, Cute Guy, we need you to get you to a -” Hot Guy started, scrambling to his feet to chase after the retreating vigilante. Before he could continue though, Cute Guy cut him off.

“To where? A hospital? There’s no hospital in this entire city that would treat a hybrid. There are too few hospitals on the other side of the wall, with far too few supplies for me to justify going there either. So no, Mr. Hero, this is where I bid you adieu,” while it wasn’t fair to snap at the hero about the situation the world was in, Cute Guy couldn’t help the remark.

“But it’s my fault! Please, I know someone who could help you. They won’t ask any questions,” Hot Guy pressed, still following her as she walked toward the edge of the roof. Guilt raced through her as she regretted the comment. Maybe they wouldn’t, but there was no doubt that the Hero Association would be watching the both of them extremely closely. While they wouldn’t be able to harm Hot Guy, associates wouldn’t have the same luxury. They’d use them as a bargaining chip, and when the deal went through they would kill them regardless. Cute Guy just couldn’t justify that risk, not to one of Hot Guy's friends.

Sighing, Cute Guy sighed before turning her head to stare at the hero.

“Hot Guy, it’s fine. It wasn’t your fault, I made the decision to pull you out of the blast range. I know it looks bad, but it’ll heal up in no time.” Cute Guy assured before turning back to face the roof's edge, reading herself to raise her wings and attempt to fly. The pain reared its ugly head once more, but Cute Guy held in her wince, not wanting to give the hero any more reason to worry.

“But if I can at least help,” Hot Guy kept up, grabbing onto Cute Guy's pink cropped sweatshirt sleeve. Cute Guy had to admit, that while she admired his spirit, he was almost as stubborn as she was.

“But nothing Hot Guy. I know the Hero Association is watching you, and I don’t want to put you in a difficult spot,” Cute Guy replied, prying the hero's hand off of her sleeve, before lifting herself into the air and out of reach.

“I would never turn you into them,”

Surprised, Cute Guy spun in the air to face the hero.

Hot Guy stared up at her, defiance in his eyes. Smiling slightly at the sight, Cute Guy turned away once more. It was that very fire that had pushed Cute Guy to act now of all times.

“I knew you were a true hero,” she said softly before launching herself further into the sky and away from the stunned hero.

Flapping her wings and going as fast as she dared, she raced through the sky at near-breakneck speeds, unsure of just how long her wings would be able to maintain their weight. She knew she had to make it to one of the passageways to Mumbos before they did so.

Still though, despite the pain of the day, Cute Guy was glad to have run into Hot Guy.

Mumbo and Jimmy, however, might have different ideas about it though.

Sighing as one of the alleys that held a passageway came into view, Cute Guy resolved themself to no doubt an endless bereavement from the two about her recklessness. It would be a difficult night for all of them, and the next day of work wasn’t going to be any more promising either.

It was a lecture he was used to hearing at least.

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stellahikaru · 2 months

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State of The Starry Path Hotel #2 (February 16th, 2024)

Hi, it’s Stella Hikaru again and I’m back to give another State of the Union Starry Path Hotel. I’m back at it again for the second week in a row and hopefully I can maintain this consistency. As I stated before, the main point of this blog is to hold myself accountable about my content creation journey and keep track of my progress and growth over time. This post is going to be a lot shorter than last week’s blog (and hopefully will take less time to write up) so now let’s get started!

Mini Life Update

I need to be honest: school is kicking my ass. I’m getting to the point of the semester where I tend to be the most stressed. Exams and assignments are piling up and it feels like I’m falling behind more and more. It does not help that the most important assignment of the most important class I’m taking is due next week so I am stressing over that. In addition, I am actively looking for a full time job for after graduation so I can pay for my own expenses.

Besides being active on Twitter, I haven’t been really doing much in terms of content creation because of my schedule. I really need to limit my time on Twitter because I do not want to become a VTweeter and honestly that time is better spent doing more productive tasks like making videos.

Content Creation Progress Update

On the topic of content creation, I didn’t finish all of the goals I set out for myself this week but I did finish one: I made myself a VOD channel and uploaded my past VOD. No I did not make a spelling mistake, past VOD. Remember when I said I downloaded all of my VODs? It turns out that clicking the download button on a VOD in the video producer doesn’t automatically download them and I was too tired to notice! So several of my VODs are lost forever! Oh well, to be honest I feel like my earlier streams are not very good so I guess I’ll have less to be embarrassed about later? I’ll just be more careful next time and download them once I finish my stream for the day.

This Week’s Goals

Make a Carrd for Twitter and Bluesky: I wanted to do this last week and I did try to start making one on my stream last week. Then I abandoned it and I figured I would get to it later in the week. That did not end up happening but I will make sure that this gets done this week.

Make ideas list for YouTube videos: I have ideas for what I want to make for YouTube videos. I just need to write them down. This week, I’m going to take some time to make a list of ideas I want for YouTube videos and choose one I want to make first.

Limit the time I spend on Twitter to 1 hour per day maximum: I have noticed that I am spending a lot of time on Twitter on the guise of ‘vtuber activities’. While I need to maintain an active presence there to grow, I’ve noticed that I have been spending WAY too much time on the site. So starting this week, I’m going to start limiting my time on Twitter to 1 hour per day maximum so I can spend more time doing stuff that is actually productive.

This Month’s Goals

Make 1 YouTube video (or prepare to start making videos next month): Based on the way things are going in terms of school work, it is very unlikely that I will make a YouTube video in the remaining time in February. However, even if I don’t end up making a video this month, I can still set myself up to start making videos next month by brainstorming ideas, learning how to record and edit, writing scripts, etc.

Look into ways to take donations: I did some cursory research into donation methods and I’m leaning towards Ko-Fi. Also apparently Ko-Fi and Buy Me a Coffee are different platforms. The more you know. I still need to do more research about fees, privacy, and stuff though. Once I build up a little bit more of an audience, I’m thinking of setting up a Throne as well.

Continue streaming once per week and try to do guerilla streams: I currently stream once per week on Saturdays and I want to maintain this consistency. However, I want to see if I can do some guerilla streams during the week since I will need to stream on 7 different days in a 30 day period to get Affiliate on Twitch and with my current schedule, I fall short of the requirements. (Yes I copied this from last week don’t HBomb me). I don’t think I can do guerilla streams this week but I’ll try to incorporate them in the future.

This Year’s Goals

Get monetized on YouTube: I want to eventually make money off of my content so I’m hoping to get monetized on YouTube this year. This is going to be a tall order, but I hope I can keep working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Become an Affiliate on Twitch: I think this goal is a bit more achievable compared to getting monetized on YouTube but I still need to meet the requirements. I will also be working towards this with my weekly and monthly goals!

Gain 100 followers on any social media besides YouTube or Twitch: I actually am over halfway to 100 followers on Twitter as of writing this, but I still don’t get a ton of engagement on my post. In addition, most of the followers I have gotten are those annoying GFX bots and it’s a little bit disheartening. I also want to build up a following on Tumblr and Bluesky as well!

Make a community Discord server: Once I build up a community, I want to create a Discord server for people to hang out in. However, I want to wait until there is a demand for a Discord server. This goal is lower priority compared to the other goals but I hope that this does end up happening this year!

Final Thoughts

Schoolwork may be eating up most of my time, but I’m still going to keep running the hotel! I’ll keep working towards my goals and hopefully I can accomplish more this upcoming week. I’ll be live on Saturday at 2 PM EST! If you like what you see, make sure to reblog this post and follow me! I would also appreciate it if you follow me on my other social media, especially on Twitch and YouTube! I will be streaming on Twitch tomorrow at 2 PM EST! I hope your stay was bright and your journey is filled with light!

#vtuber #indie vtuber #black vtuber #virtual youtuber #en vtuber #the starry path hotel #starry eyed vtuber hotelier #i need to stop procrastinating #I have an assignment due at 11:59 halp

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unsociableandtaciturnbarbie · 3 months

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As I believe I’ve mentioned previously, I have read Sense and Sensibility before. What I have not mentioned previously, out of respect for spoilers, is that when I finished Sense and Sensibility, on a January evening in 2021, I promptly slammed the book shut and stormed into my mother’s room to rant. What could have earned this book a 3.5/5 rating (note: my rating scale sometimes extends to ∞/5 so this is a very low score) and the comment, “Excuse me? What was that ending???” in my Google Sheets reading log? Simply put: it was Elinor and Colonel Brandon not ending up together.

I will readily admit that I got into Austen for the romance; it’s hard not to when your first exposure to her works is Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and you’re a romance-obsessed 16 year old. Thus, a pairing of characters which I deemed unsuitable entirely ruined most of my enjoyment of the book at the time. This year, I decided to read Sense and Sensibility with a more open mind and a determination to like Edward as a love interest. Unfortunately, Edward still fell (quite) short for me. As someone who sees a lot of myself in Elinor with a brother who has Marianne tendencies, I can’t help but wish Elinor the absolute best. I just wanted to see her hard work constantly caring for her sister (who gets herself into such avoidable trouble) pay off. Yet, Marianne somehow ends up with the best option, and reluctantly at that! At this point, I should state that I cannot possibly do justice to the level of research (read: obsession) I have done into this in one Tumblr post. Here’s a meme I threw together that I think encapsulates it (picture me as the guy in the tie, my annotated book as the board behind him, and my roommate as the woman just barely in frame) (I’m serious, my roommates did not know the plot of Sense and Sensibility before this week):

Despite my best intentions, by the middle of Volume 2 I was highlighting every phrase that I thought could possibly mean that Elinor and Brandon were meant to be together- some may call it willful misunderstanding, I call it careful analysis. Example 1: Of Mrs. Dashwood saying that Marianne would be happier to marry Colonel Branon than Elinor, “Elinor was half inclined to ask her reason for thinking so, because satisfied that none founded on an impartial consideration of their age, characters, or feelings, could be given (254) .” Was this likely meant to serve as a way to show Mrs. Dashwood’s over-sensibility and lack of sense for basic facts like age? Yes. Does the word “feelings” at the end of this quote send me into a tailspin of possibilities of what that could mean? Also yes. In the interest of your time, I will not put them all here, but I have a collection of quotes which I am willing to share. Additionally, as proof that there are other believers out there, here is a reddit thread about them for your perusal, and my favorite comment!

I could say much more on the subject of Elinor and Colonel Brandon themselves, but I’m going to restrain myself here and focus more on the fanfiction which I provided as the center for my post today. This fic is titled Added Sensibility and is a 19 chapter WIP (work-in-progress). For those unaware, fanfiction is a wonderful online world of writing where anything can happen to any character that has ever existed. Do you think Harry Potter’s Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger should have ended up together? There’s fanfiction about that! Do you wish Rey and Kylo Ren of the Star Wars Sequels got to live happily ever after together? There’s fanfiction about that too! This last example would be what is termed a “Fix-it” fic in the fanfiction world. These are based on the idea that if you think something went wrong somewhere in a piece of fiction, you can go back and “fix it” for yourself… and the entire internet. Elinor and Colonel Brandon ending up together is something I would deem to be a “fix-it”. Thus, I went straight to AO3 (Archive Of Our Own- a popular fanfiction publishing website) and searched for Colonel Brandon/Elinor Dashwood. Side note: This was actually the second fic I tried for this week’s post. The first was only 6 chapters but wrapped up quickly with Marianne running away to join the feminist movement along with Colonel Brandon’s ward. It was not what I wanted, so I gave Added Sensibility a try even though I would normally not touch a WIP.

I can attest 10 chapters (the equivalent of 134 ebook pages on my phone) in that this is a great read. It’s not Jane Austen, no one will ever be able to replicate her masterful use of language to create layer after layer of sharp wit, but it’s pretty good in my opinion. There’s enough plot and character development present so that it’s not a totally 2d story, but the main focus is on their developing love story, starting from when Elinor and Marianne go to stay with Mrs. Jennings in town. What really caught my attention (besides my glee at someone having written Elinor and Colonel Brandon together pretty much exactly the way I wanted it) was the characterization of Mrs. Jennings. The author once writes of Mrs. Jennings, “The woman was the complete opposite of an enigma, and yet, Elinor struggled to comprehend her thoughts.” In class we talked about how Mrs. Jennings seems to be so close to “getting it” sometimes, but then she just turns back into this very flat and gossipy character. In this fanfic, the author seems to go through with it and gives her more dimension and credit for intelligence than I think Jane Austen ever meant to, but it brings me back to when we talked about the idea that you can pull any character out of an Austen novel and write a novel on them. This fanfic really supports that for me. While Elinor and Colonel Brandon were characters who have had their characters decently sketched out in Sense and Sensibility, this fanfic gives dimension to other characters, like Mrs. Jennings, who previously were more of the backdrop for where the Dashwoods existed. I do think Jane Austen is rolling in her grave over the amount of ungloved hand contact and improperly private conversations that occur in this fanfic, but I will 100% own to being the target audience for the American ending of Pride and Prejudice (2005), so all the mushy gushy affection in this fanfic is right up my alley. Overall, I would recommend this fanfic and I will be finishing it in my free time!

#jane austen #sense and sensibility #elinor dashwood #colonel brandon #ao3 fanfic

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sophieinwonderland · 1 year

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lmao someone mentioned my anon to you about the self states and just said the strangest thing.

when a young child is hungry, they may go into a self state that focuses almost exclusively on food and becomes distressed when it cannot be accessed for whatever reason, be it neglect or just an inappropriate time for the child to be eating. adults can regulate their hunger self states much better than children because their whole sense of self is much more well integrated and stable than that of a two year old.

....do they mean like. emotions ???? that is describing the emotion/feeling called "i am hungry".

tbh thinking about their comments just makes me believe your post more. a child who feels emotions and then cannot handle those emotions due to neglect or other forms of trauma may create an agent to handle that emotion instead. at least that makes more sense than "a child goes into a self state that fixates on food" like. bestie that child is just hungry thats not a "self state".

(to be fair, maybe they are conflating emotions with the phrase self state, and i think of self states as a different concept entirely, since i see it more like how one puts on a persona at work compared to their home life. those arent different moods, unlike being hungry, which is a mood/emotion/feeling. self states, the way they describe it... are just moods. which is different than what you describe, which the way you describe it just makes more sense in how someone can have headmates/alters that are fully separated people with different moods and personas/self states unlike... whatever they're saying lol)

anyway, you're swag, have a good day

I really want to do more research into the subject of childhood slef-states, because I find them equally perplexing when it comes to how to differentiate from just... normal emotions... I admit that this isn't an area I'm particularly knowledgeable in.

Like, hunger can cause physical pain and that pain is going to feel more intense to a child. If a grown person was starving, they would probably be pretty single-minded in wanting to eat. And so I think this is something that is going on in this particular example. The child feels hunger pain more intensely than adults, and wanting to eat is instinctual. It's a biological imperative. So... what actually makes this a "self-state" and how is that different from an adult wanting to eat?

At the same time, we do see plenty of examples in adults of experiences that are much closer to plurality. This is pretty much how Internal Family Systems Therapy was formed. A therapist listened to his patients and realized they had these internal voices, and they could identify each of the voices. Not by name, but by wants and desires.

To me, this could be seen as a minor form of dissociative compartmentalization, with these voices in someone's head being distinct and autonomous. And there are plenty of people who might actually feel like different people in different contexts. So where's the line between normal emotions and self-state?

Beyond that, one thing they suggest is that I'm unaware about older theories about how DID forms and the relationship with ICs.

I'm not.

My issue concerning the theory of structural dissociation and imaginary companions is that these theories haven't been integrated.

I think if you look at the history of psychiatry and psychology, one thing you'll often see is competing theories where the pendulum will swing between them, an older theory is seen as being replaced by a newer one, and only later do they look back and see that both are partially true.

I support an integrated model that would acknowledge a connection between self-states, the parts of IFS, and the autonomous imaginary friends experienced during childhood by many children.

I also want to point out that the developmental window I referenced with a starting age of 2 was based on a diagram they posted.

This is their source. And to be clear, I don't think the developmental window should be taken as an absolute. (I certainly don't agree with its maximum age of 8.) Kids develop at different rates, and treating these developmental windows as absolutes would be silly. And this very paper references an alternative window proposed that starts at 18 months.

Generally speaking though, DID doesn't develop until the period when a child starts developing their sense of self.

Now, back to the Imaginary Companion theory, since it's mentioned in this article...

They sum up the stages of this theory into this helpful diagram.

Now, I believe that among other things, one major reason the imaginary friend connection was abandoned following the theory of structural dissociation was because it was deemed invalidating. Imaginary Companions, 20 years ago, were seen as completely controllable characters within the power of the host children, as demonstrated by the diagram indicating that the companions wouldn't become autonomous until Phase 3.

It goes on to suggest that IC's acting independently is something out of the ordinary.

Now, two major things happened in the 2000s in regards to imaginary friends. First, DID research moved away from the IC theory. And I think for patients at the time, this was validating. As again, ICs were viewed as things that are "not real" and "just pretend." The personal experiences of DID systems who formed alters from imaginary friends were thrown out entirely in favor of this new theory as the only way alters and DID could form.

But the second thing that happened around that same time period was that we learned that this perception of ICs was wrong. Much of this is owed to the work of Marjorie Taylor.

A full 35% of Imaginary Companions were reported to not always do what the host children wanted, and 29% demonstrated more negative characteristics outside of the children's control. That's 64% of ICs that demonstrate behavior outside of the host child's control.

So at the same time that the DID field moved away from the IC theory, studies of children found that the majority of ICs were actually more like alters than believed by Pica and other DID researchers when it came to autonomy.

And while Marjorie Taylor and others at the time referred to this as an "illusion of independent agency," some researchers have more recently switched to other terms.

After acknowledging that there is growing recognition of ICs acting outside of the host child's conscious control, they intentionally choose to use the term "IC autonomy" instead of the more invalidating term used by Marjorie Taylor and others.

More recently, we're seeing increasing research into the tulpa community, where tulpas are fully sapient and autonomous imaginary companions of adults. Companions which can learn to switch with the hosts through intentional dissociative practices.

I completely understand why many systems are hesitant about the IC theory. In the past, so often, it's been used as a way to invalidate and dismiss headmates as nothing more than figments of the imagination so many times.

But I believe what the current research is showing is the opposite. Not that alters are less, but that what we call imaginary companions may be more.

I believe that the research is pointing to a model of many ICs that are every bit as real as any alter, and in turn, every bit as real as their host children. That these are not simply characters under a child's control, but independent agents capable of thinking and feeling for themselves just like any other person.

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