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#I wanted to make the text blue and adjust how fast it cuts off in the first gif
distantsonata · 7 months
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ofstoriesandstardust · 4 months
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a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground (n.p.t.)
note: this my contribution to valentine's day fics although i know it's a bit early for that. this series is forever and always for @cottagecori
warnings: poetically soft, brief reference to the waiting room series but can be read standalone, brief alcohol mentions
word count: 1.9k
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“Isn’t it romantic how all my eulogies eulogize me?”
“What’s got you all in tizzy?” Payback says, sliding down on the couch across from her in the rec room. 
She huffs for what her friends think is the millionth time, turning her helmet in her hands. 
“I wanna get out of here.” She mutters, scuffing her boot on the ground. 
“Why? You got some Valentine’s dinner date you’ve gotta run out to?” Hangman drawls, leaning against the back of the couch she’s seated on. 
“Maybe. Why’s that any of your business?” She snaps, glaring down at her helmet. 
Bradley huffs out a laugh. “Now, don’t tell me you’re nervous.” 
She glares at him in return, causing the boy’s shoulders to shake even more with silent laughter. 
She was nervous, but maybe not for the reason her friends think.
“You are nervous.” Bob clarifies in a soft voice, adjusting his glasses. She kicks at the ground some more and shrugs. 
“I’ve never been with someone on Valentine’s Day.” She admits softly. “And I didn’t even think we were going to do anything because she’s so busy with school, but she insisted we have a romantic dinner at home, but she won’t give me any insight to what she has planned and now it looks like we’re going to be getting out of here late and I just-” She groans, scrubbing her hands over her face. 
Hangman shifts off the couch behind her, leather squeaking as he does. “I think you’re overreacting.” 
Her head snaps back to him, a glare already on her face. “Bagman-” 
“She’s enamored with you.” He says, like how someone says the sky is blue and grass is green. “You can do no wrong.” 
Later, if Mav asks, she’ll deny being the reason behind a shiny new bruise on Hangman’s forearm. 
-
You fiddle with your earrings nervously as you glance at the clock. 
Natasha had texted you that work was running late, which you honestly hadn’t minded, making the afternoon rush of getting out of class and changed and getting set up at her house less of a rush and more a fast-paced hustle. Still, now that you had somewhat set up for her return to the house, you were starting to second guess the plan you’d set in place. 
What if Natasha didn’t like it? What if she thought it was silly or immature? What if she didn’t want to spend anymore Valentine’s with you? 
You couldn’t really afford to go out to an expensive dinner but you’d been the one to want to celebrate in the first place anyways. Maybe Natasha would have preferred that to what you had planned? 
You’d just wanted to spend time with her. You just wanted to show her how much you loved her for loving you, for sticking by you through all the shit of the last few months. 
You knew it hadn’t been easy for her, ever since you’d found out about your relationship to Pete, but she’d taken it all in stride. You knew the sour turn your friendship with Bradley had taken had put a strain on her relationship with the mustached man, as much as she had tried to pretend like it hadn’t. 
You-
You don’t get to finish that train of thought, startling as you hear Natasha in the entryway. 
“Love?” She calls out, and you can hear her drop her keys in the dish by the front door. 
“Kitchen.” You call back. 
She appears a few moments later, hair falling over her shoulder. 
You feel a bit breathless for a moment, taking in the woman in front of you. 
Her hair is a bit darker than normal, signaling she must have showered after training for the day. Natasha very rarely let her down, always keeping it tied back or in a braid, so you could see the soft waves as it falls over her shoulder. The velvet-y, low cut, open-back black dress doesn't leave much to the imagination.
Natasha knows it’s one of your favorite dresses of hers, with easy access to draw patterns on her back in public and getting to undo the strings at the top of her shoulders at the end of the night. 
“You look good.” You blurt out, eyes wide. You’re resisting the urge to reach out and touch her. 
You’re still struck sometimes at how a woman like Natasha is with someone like you, that you get this girl all to yourself. 
“So do you.” She says, a bit breathless as she pushes some hair behind her ear. “I’m sorry work ran late. I hope I didn’t cause too much upset to your plans.” 
You shake your head jerkily as you swallow, giving her one last lookover as you attempt to get your brain back online. “Not at all.” 
She lets out a little laugh at this, stepping a bit closer. “Well, will you tell me what we’re doing now, at least?” 
You falter, glancing back at the fridge. “Well, I- now that you’re here it feels a little stupid.” 
She lets out another laugh, stepping even closer to you. You can feel her body warmth as she almost touches you, but not quite. “Stupid? If you planned it, I doubt it could be stupid.” 
You must make some kind of look on your face because she frowns. “Don’t make that face-” 
You sigh, clasping your hands together. “Well, okay- I- growing up we didn’t really celebrate Valentine’s Day, but when we could afford it my Mom would always get heart-shaped pizza from somewhere. And I found this recipe online, to make your own mini heart-shaped pizzas, and I thought it could be a fun activity for the two of us to do together- but it’s stupid isn’t it?” You groan, face falling into your hands. “I should’ve just tried to cook something, this is so dumb-” 
“It’s not dumb. I don’t think it’s dumb.” Natasha says at an alarmingly fast rate. 
“You don’t?” You ask, words still muffled by your hands. You can feel the heat in your cheeks, the embarrassment prickling at you. 
Natasha gently takes your hands away from your face. “Not at all. Put on some music, open that bottle of wine from Napa I’ve been saving, and pull out those chocolate strawberries I made for you last night from the fridge, and we’ve got ourselves a lovely little date.” 
“You… you made those for me?” You blink up at your girlfriend. Your pretty girlfriend. 
Truthfully, you’d seen the strawberries in the fridge when you’d been putting the perishables from your grocery run in there, but you hadn’t thought they’d been for you. 
“Well, I’d had to contribute something here, didn’t I?” She says with a full laugh this time. 
You shrug. “Spending time with you is enough for me-” 
She cuts you off, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. You sigh into it, pulling your girlfriend closer. 
“You’re so cute.” She mutters, beaming at you after you pull away. You blush, practically preening in Natasha’s grip at the compliment. “And I love you, very much.” 
-
A few hours and a couple glasses of the good wine later find you laying on a checkered blanket on Natasha’s living room floor, soft candles lit in the room as the playlist you had made for her plays softly in the background. 
The mini heart-shaped pizzas had been a hit and the remnants of the chocolate covered strawberries are scattered around on plates. Your feet are tucked up into Natasha’s lap, her thumb brushing over your ankle as the two of you just talk. 
It feels good to be with her like this. It had been exactly what you’d wanted. 
Natasha makes you feel warm, safe. Like you can just be a little kid again. Like you can laugh with her for the rest of your life. 
“Can I ask you something?” She whispers softly. 
“Anything.” You respond. 
You’d tell her anything she wanted to know. You’d bare your soul to the girl you loved. 
“Would you ever want to move in with me? Like here?” She asks, a soft smile playing on her face. 
You push yourself up a little, trying to prop yourself up more. You’re a bit breathless as you stare at her, mind whirring. 
“Natasha Trace, are you asking me to move in with you?” 
Her smile turns a bit lopsided, the only tell of her nerves in her eyes as she looks away from you with a shrug. “I guess it depends on your answer.” 
You swallow, unsure of what to say to her. 
Sure, you’d spent a few nights (more than a few nights) at her place and she’s spent an equal amount of time at yours. 
But- you’d be living at Sam’s family house almost as long as you’d been back in San Diego. It’d been safe in a lot of ways, especially when Sam and Fran had been back in town and living there too. 
Living with them had never felt like a third-wheel, but just friends hanging out. 
It was safe, in so many ways. 
And if you moved out, and in with Natasha, you put that safety at risk. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to go backwards. 
But-
Damn it, you loved Natasha. You loved waking up next to her in the mornings and tracing the lines in back, running your fingertips over that one mole that you knew made her squirm. You loved getting to make breakfast with her and have her bring you coffee just the way you liked it while still in bed. You loved getting to spend your days with her, running errands and cooking and everything in between. You loved getting to be tucked into her at night, to be held, to be loved. 
The thought that you could have all of that, all of that laughter and love with Natasha, all the time, whenever you wanted it, was almost too much for your heart to bear. It felt like the realization of something that had felt so out of reach for you. 
You could have all of it. 
You almost want to laugh, with how giddy the idea makes you but you didn’t want to make Natasha think you’d found the idea of living with her silly. 
“Tell you what.” You say, pushing yourself up into a seated position. Natasha lets your ankle go willing, but she isn't without your touch for long as you scooch across the blanket, knees knocking against hers as you crowd her space. “I think that if I move right now, I’ll lose my mind.” 
Natasha nods, eyes shiny with hope as you talk. You know that she understands the truth in them, that moving your whole life at the height of the semester would very well be your undoing. 
“But,” You say, a bit breathless again, trying to slow yourself down to get all the words out. “I would love to live with you. Live with you here.”
“Yeah?” She says, her smile growing. 
You nod. “How about this? Let me get through this semester, and this summer, when things slow down a bit and I’m not in as many credits-” Natasha makes a noise in the back of her throat at the mention that you’d never really be free of grad school until you finished next year. “-I will be all yours.” 
You don’t think you’ll ever really tire of the way Natasha’s eyes light up. You don’t know how anyone could.
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swordsmans · 1 year
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wip wednesday! the bitch who said they would be finished with this (zolu) thing by next week (today) was a liar. but! good news, it’s gonna be two or three chapters long because it’s getting that out of hand. i probably won’t post this until the whole thing is finished, then i’ll schedule the chapters out a week at a time. i’m still only at ~15k because i trashed the original 7k and restarted about a week+ ago, but it’s definitely much better than it was.
text under the cut! this is still a draft, so apologies if it’s rough--but it keeps making me laugh every time i edit it, so i thought it might be fun to post.
Nami waves the parchment through the air, and Zoro can see that it’s a stack of drawings—map drafts, probably. “Don't ask me! It's just faster this way,” she says, frustrated. “You're the only one who ever knows exactly where he is.”
Zoro rolls his eye. “Well, I haven't seen him yet, so—oh, no, wait,” he says, pausing just for a moment, and Enma almost bites him. Zoro adjusts his grip, frowning because that's not how this works, and changes to a closing stance. Discipline. If Enma will not cooperate, Zoro will not give it what it wants.  As he moves, he tilts his head to the side a little and grunts, “Here he comes,” to Nami, who blinks at him.
“See?” She replies, exasperated, “It's ridiculous.”
Zoro almost shrugs. “It's just observation haki,” he says, and Nami just gives him a look he can't even begin to interpret.
She huffs, “It's really not,” and just sort of stares at him for a second before whipping her head to the side as the frantic slap! slap! slap! of familiar sandals comes within hearing range down the hall. “Wow, that was—”
“Straw Hat!” Law’s voice erupts from out of sight, followed by a manic shishishi!
Nami turns her gaze to the ceiling, and Zoro can’t help the snicker that escapes his own mouth as a second enraged yell echoes after them both—Kid, screaming, “Get back here! I’m going to fucking kill you!”
Nami rolls her eyes, and then turns to where Luffy has presumably turned the corner (still out of Zoro’s line of sight), and Zoro sees her eyes bulge. “Luffy, what are you—” As Luffy’s laughter gets louder and louder, more hysterical, and the screams behind him change in pitch from livid to unhinged.
Seconds later, a pale (and yellow? blue?) blur blasts past the doorway, narrowly missing Nami and moving so fast that her hair physically whips with the force, and Zoro hears his Captain shout, “Sorry, Nami!” between giggles.
Nami opens her mouth to say something, but he’s already gone—and then Kid and Law both appear, shoving each other out of the way, red-faced, wheezing, furious—and without pants. Kid has his devil fruit engaged and Law is yelling, Grab him, what are you even good for? At the same time Kid shouts, “Aren’t your powers fucking teleportation?” and then they’re off again, screaming at each other (“He’s fucking rubber, magnets don’t work!” He’s moving too fast to stay in my range!) and screaming at Luffy, whose howling laughter is already starting to fade in the distance.
Nami blinks at Zoro, expression completely bewildered, and Zoro blinks back—and almost doubles over with his own guffaws because only Luffy could steal clothes from two pirates powerful enough to take down an Emperor and then streak half-naked across a fucking castle, flapping their pants in the wind behind him like bait. Nami recovers as Zoro dissolves and she throws her hands in the air with a kind of incoherent noise of frustration, but Zoro can see that she is trying desperately not to burst out laughing herself.
He grins at her and exhales, “We’ll figure it out on the ship,” and she snorts, rolling her eyes a little.
“Yeah,” she replies, smiling fondly. “We’ll have to.” Then she waves a little and turns to go. “Don’t be late.”
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renecdote · 2 years
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How about 46 from the angst/fluff list, "I’m worried about you.” With Buddie? :)
Have some Buck angst, set post 5x05.
[Read on AO3]
****
One short text to Chimney (I know where she is) and a phone call at four a.m., just as short, just “where?” and “you better not be fucking with me, Buck, or I swear to god—”
And since then: radio silence. A worse kind of radio silence because Buck keeps picking up his phone and putting it down without even calling. Can’t bear to have the phone ring, and ring, and still never answered.
(“Do you think he’ll ever forgive me?”
“No.” Immediate. Then amended quickly at the look that must have bled up from Buck’s heart and onto his face: “Kidding, I’m kidding. Maybe.”
But what if that first answer was the right one? What if Chimney can’t ever forgive him?
What if Maddie can’t ever forgive him?
What if, despite what everyone says, Buck really has broken things for good?)
Work is better, but it still feels off. Not having Chimney there, not having Eddie at his side… A few reassuring words haven’t fixed that. Can’t fix that. It’s nobody else’s fault, his head is just a fucking mess. Buck is trying not to let it get to him, trying to be easier on Ravi, trying to adjust, but—it still feels wrong.
He goes home at the end of another long shift to an empty apartment. He thinks about texting Taylor, but doesn’t, just pulls on his LAFD hoodie and crawls into bed instead. Except then he’s just lying in bed, staring at the high ceiling of his apartment, exhausted down to his bones, but mind moving too fast to sleep. Eventually, he gives up, reaching for his phone instead, thumb hovering over Maddie’s name, over Chimney’s, scrolling through weeks of unanswered text messages. I’m sorry and please call me and I know you don’t want to talk to me, but can you at least let me know you’re okay?
Taylor caught him doing this once and said that he was torturing himself. She’s probably right. It doesn’t make Buck feel anything except worse. Guilty. Cut open and jagged, like he took a chainsaw to his own heart.
Maybe he is torturing himself.
(Maybe that’s the whole point.)
***
Buck is standing in the kitchen trying to decide if he’s hungry (he’s not) when his phone pings.
[From: Eddie, 11.17am] Are you busy?
Buck reads the message twice.
No, he sends. He hesitates, phone in hand, watching those typing bubbles appear and disappear, then he adds: Everything okay?
[From: Eddie, 11:21am] Come over?
Buck isn’t sure he’ll be good company, but he doesn’t know how to refuse. He doesn’t want to refuse, doesn’t want to sit in his empty apartment, doesn’t want to be alone inside his own head.
He changes, then changes again because it’s only Eddie, and his skin is crawling in stiff jeans and a buttoned top. He keeps the jeans, but finds a soft t-shirt, then reaches for the hoodie he tossed on his bed, hesitating a moment over the LAFD material before going to his closet and grabbing a light blue one instead. He stares at himself in the mirror, remembers the last time he wore this hoodie in Eddie’s house, then changes again and leaves the house wearing orange.
There’s this moment where he’s sitting at a red light and Eddie’s house is one way, but if he turned right he’d end up at Maddie and Chimney’s place. There’s this needle point of adrenaline right through Buck’s heart and he clenched his hands tight around the wheel.
He turns left.
There’s another moment, standing on Eddie’s doorstep, where he wonders whether he should knock or use the key in his hand—and then the door is opening before he can make up his mind, Eddie taking him in with one long look and frowning at whatever he sees.
“Hey,” Buck says, trying for a smile that doesn’t fit quite right.
“Hey,” Eddie replies, something softening in his expression. “Come in.”
Buck follows him wordlessly through the house, trying to not look around; trying not to see all the things that might have changed since he was last here. He can’t even remember when it was. Before Maddie left. Before school started back? Over a month now.
Eddie pulls out two beers and Buck takes one automatically, even as his stomach twists with nerves.
“This day drinking is starting to become a habit,” he tries to joke, but it falls flat. The beer sweats in his hands. Or maybe his hands are sweating? It’s just Eddie, he shouldn’t be nervous, but—it’s Eddie.
Eddie, leaning back against the kitchen counter, clearing his throat, saying, “So.”
“So?” Buck echoes, wary.
“About the other day…”
“We don’t need to talk about that.”
Too quick. Too transparent.
“Actually,” dead fucking serious, “I think not talking is exactly the problem.”
Buck looks down, picking at the label on his beer bottle. It’s not that he has been avoiding Eddie. It’s just… he doesn’t want to have this conversation.
“Look, I’m sorry, I know you’re mad—”
“I’m not mad, I’m—” Eddie takes a breath; starts again, soft with sincerity. “I’m worried about you.”
Fuck.
“You don’t have to be,” Buck tries, but the words come out almost hoarse.
“You were going to leave. You—” Eddie breaks off, shaking his head, like he can hardly believe it even as he says it. “You were going to leave without even talking to me about it?”
There’s a wobble, barely there, twisting that sentence up into a question. Buck’s breath catches, guilt like a band around his chest, a sudden stinging behind his eyes.
I didn’t think you’d care rises unbidden in his thoughts. He knows it’s not true—he knows that—but for a moment there, he believed it. Couldn’t talk himself out of believing it.
And then there’s that other thought. That one that has been dogging his steps too frequently these days. I don’t know how to talk to you anymore. I don’t know if I’m allowed to.
Buck shakes his head. “I don’t—do we have to do this now?”
“Yes.”
He glances at the doorway, the steps to the front door a familiar path in his mind, but his feet stay rooted in place.
“Buck.” Hands on his arms, Eddie suddenly so much closer. “You need to talk to me.”
An echo, ringing in the back of his mind: you need to tell me if something is wrong.
Buck tries to shake his head again, tries to look away—pull away—but Eddie is insistent.
“Are you talking to Taylor?” he pushes. And when the denial comes quick (too quick) to Buck’s lips, he goes on, “What about Dr. Copeland? You’re still seeing her, right?”
Buck winces, thinking of missed therapy sessions; of scheduling dramas and flimsy excuses because everything is already so exhausting, he doesn’t need to have his brain scooped out and dissected and dumped back into his skull like mush as well. Therapy has been good, helpful, but sometimes it’s also just… exhausting. Painful. Too much on top of everything else that is already too much.
Buck sets the beer aside, stomach too twisted up to even think about drinking it anymore.
“What about you?” he deflects. “You’ve been acting weird too. I know—I know we’re not really working together, and I’ve been busy—” (distracted; stuck in his own head) “—but I still know you, Eds.”
“We’re not talking about me—“
“I thought not talking was our problem—”
“Buck.”
One word, nothing more than his name, but god, the way that Eddie says it—not like he sees through Buck, but like he sees right inside of him. Right into the gaping hole that has carved its way through his chest in the last few weeks; that little fissure that he has never quite been able to heal completely, now a soul-sucking canyon. And then past all that, too, right into his heart.
Buck bites his cheek hard, but it doesn’t stop the sting of tears behind his eyes, the ache in his throat.
“I didn’t want you to tell me I was right.”
“What?” Eddie frowns, confused. “What are you talking about? Of course I wouldn’t—”
“I know. I know, okay?” Words tumbling out. Buck isn’t even sure they make sense but Eddie pried the floodgates open and now the deluge is unstoppable, the weeks of emotions he has been shoving down pouring out. “I know it’s stupid, I know I wasn’t thinking, but I—I couldn’t. Everything has felt so wrong, at work and—” at home “—and I thought it would be easier for everyone, betterfor everyone, because Chimney left, and he and Maddie won’t talk to me, and I thought everyone hated me, and—”
It doesn’t really register that he’s crying until Eddie is pulling him into a hug and Buck is hiccuping a sob against his shoulder. He’s been so high-strung for weeks, he doesn’t even know what to do with the crying. His hands come up, clinging to Eddie’s back, and he’s not really sure whether he’s holding onto Eddie or if it’s Eddie who is holding onto him, but the closeness between them after so much distance (at work, in everything) just makes Buck cry even harder.
For a long time, Eddie doesn’t say anything more than murmurs of, “okay, I’ve got you, you’re okay.”
He’s not. Okay. He hasn’t been for a while, honestly.
But he has to be.
He’s supposed to be.
Everything is fine.
(Maddie is gone, and Chimney is gone, but it’s fine.)
Buck pulls back first, but Eddie doesn’t let him go far. He searches Buck’s face while Buck tries to avoid his gaze, rubbing at his cheeks with the sleeve of his hoodie. Eddie waits until Buck has run out of excuses and reluctantly meets his gaze before he speaks.
“We love you,” he says firmly.
There’s no room in his tone for a but, but Buck finds himself holding his breath, waiting for one anyway.
It doesn’t come. There’s just Eddie’s hand pressing gently between his shoulder blades as he says, “Breathe, Buck.”
Buck shudders through an exhale. Eddie has touched him more in the last hour than he has in months, he realises, and the thought almost sets him off crying again. He bites his lip hard, but a couple of tears slip out anyway. And then Eddie’s hand is on his jaw, thumb sweeping over his cheek; so similar, yet so different, to the way he carefully examined Buck’s eye that day.
“You look exhausted,” Eddie says quietly.
Buck shrugs, pulling his arms in close to chest, not quite hugging himself. “I haven’t really been sleeping well.”
It’s an easier confession, after everything else.
“C’mere,” Eddie says, tugging on Buck’s arm until he falls into another hug. They sway together for a moment, Buck’s eyes falling closed, his arms tight around Eddie’s waist. He doesn’t ever want to let go.
I miss you, he thinks, loud enough that he can almost imagine Eddie hears it. Even when you’re right here, I miss you.
Eddie’s arms squeeze tighter just for a second, almost a response, almost I miss you too, and then he pulls back.
“Chris will be home from school in a few hours,” he says. “You wanna nap until then?”
Yes. Desperately. He’s so fucking tired he aches. But even with Eddie there—even in Eddie’s bed, sharing without ever talking about it, the way they did for months during quarantine—Buck doesn’t know if he’ll be able to sleep. Not well, at least.
“We could watch something?” he suggests instead.
Eddie doesn’t push. In the washed out light of the sun hidden behind a cloud, he looks tired too.
“Yeah,” he says. “Yeah, whatever you want.”
Buck doesn’t know why that makes his eyes sting all over again.
He doesn’t mean to fall asleep on the couch, curled awkwardly with his head on a throw pillow and his feet sliding down in increments until they’re tucked under Eddie’s thighs. He wakes sometime later stretched out fully, a blanket tossed over him, the other end of the couch empty. But Eddie is still there when he lifts his head, standing by the dining table folding laundry, and Buck lets his eyes slip closed again, head dropping back to the pillow. He breathes in, holding the comfort of home in his lungs; and even though he doesn’t go back to sleep, lying there on Eddie’s couch, with Eddie one soft word away, with the promise of Christopher within reach in few short hours—Buck does something else he hasn’t been able to do in weeks: he rests.
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erodasfishtacos · 3 years
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Three Minutes
Prompt: Harry slips up and it’s only right his wife serves him a little punishment.
Word Count: 3.2 k +
Warnings: Language, Sexual Content (sexting, dirty talk, public, subby!h)
AN: I’m excited to share this!! I’m pretty sure I’m going to do a part 2. Let me know if you’d like to see this! I’m dedicating this to @harrywritingsbyme because she’s an amazing writer and you need to read everything of hers! Requests open ☺️
Reblog if you can!
Harry was dreading his interview with Howard Stern. The guy was an obnoxious prick who had no filter and liked to put people on the spot - it’s what he’s doing right now. 
You were off to the side, watching the interview next to Jeff. It was matter of time before Howard brought you up to pick and prod at your husband.
“So Harry, you’re married, yes?” Howard asks, typical sunglasses on and curly permed hair donned. His mouth a little to close to the microphone.
“Yeah, I am,” Harry smiles tightly, hands rubbing on this upper thighs. He spares a quick glance over to you.
“She’s here, right?” Howard looks over at you and winks, “Fucking gorgeous babe, huh?”
You roll your eyes at the interviewers remark and Harry’s isn’t pleased but nicely responds, “She’s amazing, way out of my league.”
Howard laughs, “Now I have to ask you, does she tour with you?”
Harry replies, “Yeah. For the most part, sometimes she’ll go off to visit family or friends for a bit.”
The interview smirks, “Does she get worried you’re going to fuck other people while she’s not there? I mean you have girls falling at your feet. It must be hard to avoid temptation.”
You blink owlishly, attempting to contain the offended scoff bubbling in your throat. Jeff snickers and you send him a elbow.
Your husbands face can’t hide his annoyance at the question, “Are you asking me if it’s hard not to cheat on my wife?”
“I mean you could have a line up of girls after every show willing to blow you. I couldn’t be satisfied going home to the same thing every night.”
The band is looking back and forth at each other - clearly uncomfortable. Mitch’s face completely blank - of course.
“Well, I mean - I think that kind of stuff like...people going crazy over you was exciting when I was a bit younger. But no, I mean I’m very much in love and also consider myself a monogamous person.”
“Man, I mean - some of the songs you write about her? Watermelon Sugar, that’s clearly about eating her out,” Howard laughs, the tune playing softly in the background.
Jeff nearly chokes on the water he’s drinking and you pat him hard on the back - as payback for making Harry do this interview.
“I don’t think I’ve ever had pussy so good I’d write about it,” the interview jokes crudely. The women interviewer tittering in the background at his antics.
Harry fumbles, “Uh-uhm, it’s not uh- necessarily about anything or any act like...in particular. Just about having a good time with the person you love.”
The female interviewer who stays mostly quite chirps in to break the tension, “Is it hard to be long-distance when she’s not on the road with you?”
“Not at all. Most of the time she’s with me but we’re lucky we have technology that helps us not feel so far away from each other.”
Howard smiles, “How do you not go crazy being without sex for long amounts of time?”
It’s odd how obsessed this guy is with sex. As well as painting Harry as some sex-crazed rockstar who can’t go a day without.
Harry then goes on to put his entire, big ass foot in his mouth. “Y‘know that’s uh-that’s what good about FaceTime and Snapchat.”
The interviewer grins like a predator at Harry’s admission. You’re face is bright fucking pink. You’re gonna murder him.
“Well you heard it here first, folks. The key to how Harry Styles - one of the greatest artist of his time- keeps a happy relationship with his wife while he’s on the road. Dick pics and FaceTime sex.”
Harry glances over at you, his face apologetic as he already knows he in trouble.
You’re not that embarrassed - it not like it’s a weird thing to do but you didn’t want him talking about it with a trashy talk show host. 
The interview is almost over which is good because Harry’s about to lose his temper after he’s asked about his step-father’s passing and the stalker who was harassing you two.
During the interview however, you get a wonderful fucking idea as easy payback for Harry’s little slip up.
After Harry’s tossed his headset and microphone pack off with a little too much force to be unnoticeable - he’s sliding up beside you.
“Baby love,” He murmurs sheepishly into your cheek, nuzzling there for a moment, and breathing in the scent of your shampoo.
“You did good, H,” You reply softly, landing a soft kiss to his lips before pulling back to brush his hair off his forehead.
“Y’not mad?” Harry asks warily, knowing he got nervous and gave a little too much information.
“No baby, not mad at all,” Your voice steady and believable. It was true - you weren’t mad, just a little annoyed.
He seems confused. He knows you like the back of his hand and usually, you get peeved when he says something in interviews you’d rather the word not know.
Like the one time he let it slip you had an affinity for hooking up in hotel pools after dark. Prat.
**
Harry multiple appearances that day and it ends in a dinner at a fancy restaurant in Beverly Hills with big wigs.
You were invited but declined, despite Harry’s pouting and whines for you to go. You were the only thing that made these work obligations go faster.
However, you had other plans and a little bit of revenge to play on your unsuspecting husband.
All in good fun - of course.
**
Harry sits down with a group of people from his label. They’re all dressed in tight suits and rolex watches.
Harry on the other hand is in a flowy button-up only halfway done and a tight pair is skinny jeans. Jeff is dressed pretty casually too.
They were talking about tour dates and had just received their appetizers when he gets the text from you. Your name in his phone as baby love.
Harry nearly chokes on his water when he opens the message to reveal an image of you nearly naked in your shared bed. You skin tone standing out against the baby blue comforter.
You have one of his vintage tees on as well as some creme boyshort panties. The shirt is lifted though, rumpled up by your collarbones to reveal your breasts.
Harry wants to drool over the picture but doesn’t want to risk anyone else seeing his wife in any state of undress. So he quickly responds.
Baby, I’m at dinner.
You reply with another picture. A hand tucked down your underwear, cupping your heat. He can see the outline of your fingers underneath the thin fabric.
Already have something you could eat.
Harry can already feel himself twitch in his jeans. Cut it the fuck out now
Another. Fucking. Picture. Comes through.
This time you’re completely stripped, tits visible with soft pink peaks, and a hand strategically covering your cunt. 
Make me, H.
It clicks what game you’re playing. You rarely sent anything risqué when you where together because you had each other physically.
Harry curses under his breathe, locking his phone and pushing back his chair a little too fast - excusing himself to the loo.
As soon as he clicks the lock on the single-person restroom, he’s pressing on your contact information and you pick up on the very first ring.
“You bloody brat, I’m out at dinner,” Harry hisses at you, giving himself a rough squeeze through his tighten trousers.
All he hears back is a breathy moan. He’d know that sound anywhere - you’re touching yourself.
“What the fuck are you playin’ at?” Your husband demands, but the clipped edge in his tone tells you how much it’s affecting him.
“Just a little payback, babe...for spilling our dirty secrets,” you hum innocently, deciding to send him another picture.
It’s a simple photo without context some might not even understand. It’s just your hand but your fingers glistening with your arousal. 
Harry’s hand is about to crush is phone into bits as his eyes roam the picture. He was nearly panting, already able to imagine the taste and smell.
He takes a deep breath before he threatens you, “if you don’t pull your desperate little self together right now- I’m not going anywhere near that needy cunt and I’ll make you spend all night choking on me.”
Instead of the typical, sad whimpers he expects to hear - he receives a patronizing, high-pitched giggle.
“That’s not how it’s going to work tonight, H,” you inform him in a matter-of-fact manner before continuing, “we’re playing by my rules.”
Your husband laughs in disbelief, echoing against the bleak bathroom walls, “and what those rules, sweetheart?”
“You’re going to go sit through your nice little dinner, rockstar. And I’m going to send you pictures, maybe some videos to watch to keep you entertained. If you don’t open them within three minutes each time and reply - you’re not coming tonight. The couch will have a blanket and pillow ready for you.”
If he was in charge, he’d laugh and remind you that you two have three lovely guest rooms he could choose from. But he doesn’t want to push it.
“Fuck,” Harry spits, having to cram his hand into his jeans to adjust himself so he doesn’t look like a pervert when he goes back out.
But he was so fucking game.
He’d do anything you wanted from him - no matter if he could embarrass himself in front of business partners or fans. He was besotted, whipped, whatever you wanted to call him.
“Are you going to be good for me, baby?” You coo tauntingly, from the other end of the line. Basking in his little huffs of air and the agitated lift in his voice.
“Yeah, m’gonna be good,” he murmurs gruffly, his demeanor had changed now that he wasn’t in charge any longer - always willing to let you be dominant when you wanted to be. 
It wasn’t often - but when you did, Harry would fall into a nice, fuzzy headspace of compliance and submission. He always wanted to please and this amplified all of his desires.
“Best husband I could ask for, you know?” You reward, knowing that the games are just getting started and you wanted to make this last.
“I love you s’much,” Harry automatically returns, with deep devotion and honesty. His voice as sweet as maple syrup.
“Are you hard, H?” 
He grips himself, like he’d just remember, “m’really fucking hard for you.”
“Snap an picture for me, pull yourself together, and then go back to your table - don’t forget the rules.”
“Yes ba-“
Then you end the call while he’s talking.
Harry’s a little shaky as he swipes onto his camera. He grips the thick outline of his cock, rings glinting in the dull lights, and takes a picture.
He hopes it’s good enough and quickly sends it before splashes some cold water on his face and thinking of anything but his naked wife laying at home in their bed - wet and horny.
Jeff gives him a side-eye when he sits back down, casually throwing a napkin over his lap because he can’t help the semi that refuses to go down all together.
“You alright?” His manager asks him, the others still in the throws of tour venues and vendors discussions.
Harry nods, lying easily “the missus couldn’t find her phone charger - thought I nipped it.”
“You do love to steal those,” his friends agrees before cutting off one of them men to suggest three days at Madison Square Garden instead of two.
Harry’s clutching his phone like a lifeline, anticipating the indicative text vibrations that let him know you’ve sent something.
However, despite how many times he checks, fifteen minutes pass and still nothing has sent from you. He almost starts to worry if you’re okay.
But just like the sneaky little thing you are, you wanted to give him enough time to calm down and relax before rilining him up again.
When it finally alerts him, he’s unlocking his phone and opening the message thread as fast as possible. 
The picture makes his jaw almost drop on the fucking carpeted floor. You’re in one the large closets in your home- the one that holds all of his Gucci suits in particular.
There is a massive floor to ceiling mirror in this room that you’re standing in front of. You’ve slid on one of his custom silk Gucci button-ups that has styles embroidered on the breast pocket without doing doing up any of the buttons.
He’s an absolutely goner for you in anything that makes you look like his property - the large engagement ring and wedding band on your left ring-finger satiates that feeling quite well.
It takes he a moment before he realizes what else you’re wearing. Your fucking collar. It sat tight around your neck, the expensive leather biting into your skin.
Your one hand was holding the phone and the other had a hand teasing at one of your hardened nipples through the silk fabric of the shirt.
He keeps his phone in his lap with a dim light setting so nobody can risk a chance at seeing such explicits pictures of what’s his.
You look so good with my name on you, baby. Please, want to see you in just the collar, take off the shirt.
Harry fumbles along with the conversation, that’s revolving all around him, “Yeah, I loved Argentina. Definitely want to got there again.”
Buzz.
How’d you already forget I’m in charge? Maybe I’ll just go to bed if you’re not going to follow instructions.
As punishment - if you can really call it that - in the next image you don’t have the collar on any longer and you’ve done up a few buttons on the silk shirt.
Harry feels panicked at the thought of you stopping. He was in a nice, soft headspace clinging onto anything you were willing to give him - desperate to make you happy.
I’m sorry, baby. I’ll be good for you. You’re so fucking sexy. I can basically taste you on my tongue.
“Harry?” Jeff draws him out of his haze. He’s looking at him expectantly, eyebrow quirked, and a martini in his hand.
“What did you say?” Harry asks, eyes itching to dart back down to the screen of his mobile.
“Would you want Kacey to open for you again in North America?” Jeff repeats with annoyance.
“Oh, uh-yeah, that’d be great,” he tells them without really think about it.
He should be paying attention to this pretty important meeting but he can’t when he gets another alert.
The video is back in the bedroom, your delicate fingers sliding down your torso with the button-up pooled around your ribs.
Your hand slowly, at a near crawl- traces down with the camera until the manicured tips of your fingers are at your mound.
Harry’s stomach is tensing in excitement as he watches your fingers dip into the part in your slick, swollen folds.
He has to bite back a groan when the video cuts off and he reads the text below the attachment.
Was this the pussy you enjoyed eating so much you won a Grammy writing about? Was Howard right in his interview?
If Harry was in charge, he would have delivered a few resounding smacks to your arse for how cocky you were being - despite it being the absolute truth.
Did he write and win a Grammy based on a song about how much he loved eating his wife out? Sure fucking did.
Baby love. Yeah, wrote it about you. Write all my songs about how much I love you and your body. Everything is yours.
Harry is so good when he’s subby - is the thing.
Harry was a sappy sod anyways, always ready to tell you how much he loved you and thousand of other sweet things. This just amplified all of his warm, fuzzy emotions.
Send me a picture of your left hand
He hesitates for a moment, still nodding along to the ebb and flow of the business talk but having no actual idea what they’re talking about.
Harry places his large, wide hand flat on the table in front of him. He knew why you wanted his left hand - you were just as possessive as him. 
You want to see his long, slim fingers that feel so good inside of you. You want to see the glimmer of his wedding band as well as the tattoo of your name on the outer curve of his hand.
He doesn’t think to turn off his flash. It ends up going off in the dimly lit restaurant and blinding the table, reflecting off the silver flatware. 
He looks like a complete knob - taking a picture of his hand but also something weird Harry may do anyways and upload to his Instagram.
The men blink a few times and look at him with a confused expression. Jeff jabs him roughly in the side.
“Uh, snapchat streak,” he mumbles, tucking his phone back into his lap and sending it.
You were cutting it close, babe. 2 minutes, I don’t like waiting. But fuck, who’s name is that on your hand, who’s that ring for?
You, you baby. All of its for you, promise. I belong to you, only you for the rest of my life.
The response is quick.
But...you have girls falling at your feet, lining up to blow you.
A direct quote for the interview today. Brat - she knew how he hated when people assumed or talked like he had no self control or morals.
Only want your mouth, your cunt, your tits. So bloody gone for you, baby. Please send me another video.
He really shouldn’t be egging you on.
Your being greedy but you’ve been following the rules so I’ll allow it.
The video does not disappoint. You’re hand is nestled down between your thighs, pinching at your puffy, stimulated bud. Just the amount of pain you like. It’s a short clip but it has him wriggling in his seat.
He watches it again but before he can finish it - Jeff is snatching his phone out of his shaky hands and tucking it into his own pants pocket.
The manager’s obviously sick of the lack of focus and honestly, how disrespectful Harry’s being which is something he usual never is.
“Pay attention,” he whispers with a sharp, irritated tone before clapping Harry on the back to play off the scolding to the group.
Harry feels a knot form in his stomach as his phone sits stagnant in his friends pocket. His wife sitting, impatiently waiting for his response that she’s not going to get.
He watches his vintage wristwatch as fifteen minutes pass, he hears a few buzzes from his phone that go unattended.
Harry’s not fuzzy anymore - well not in a good way. He has anxiety bubbling in his tummy and his semi had finally disappeared from nerves of disappointing you.
He decides to engage in the conversation to keep his mind off of what is waiting for him at home. He craved to look at those images and videos again. To have it in real life.
**
It had been three hours since he responded. The people at the table insisting on dessert and alcoholic coffees despite Harry saying he was exhausted from a long day of promo.
At the end of dinner, Harry would love to lie and say he’s recovered from his shakiness but he hadn’t.
After shaking the hands of the record label men, he walks to his car with Jeff. He gets a nice talking to before his phone is being placed back into his hand and he’s sliding into his obnoxious vintage Ferrari.
He takes a deep breathe before he unlocks his phone. The buzzes he heard where not all from you. A few from Twitter, his mum, Niall. There was only one from you.
Game Over. You lose.
Thank you for reading💕🥺
993 notes · View notes
flowersbby · 4 years
Text
Drawn to You | Corpse Husband x Fem! Reader
Warning:  Makeout, This is a lil long (I got carried away)
Word count: 3859
It was a typical night for you. You had your music playing faintly in the background while you were writing notes for your anatomy & physiology class when you felt your phone vibrate violently on your desk, which caused your French bulldog, Royal, to wake up from his snoring slumber on your lap. With an annoyed huff, you pick up your phone and notice your best friend Rae had texted you numerous times.
Rae 😴
Hey!
Among Us!
Now!
Need 10th person!
Pleaseeeeee
You stared at the messages for a minute. You were confused on why she asked you of all people. You were the opposite of the many streaming friends she had who were loud, funny, and all around GOOD at games. Your shy character would not fit well on her stream and you knew that. Plus, the only games you’ve played are Stardew Valley and Animal Crossing, which requires no communication with people and you preferred it that way.
You
Why me? I’m in the middle of writing notes.
Rae 😴
There’s this person I want you to meet!
He’s really nice and you’ll warm up to the group in no time, I promise!
I won’t let them be mean to you 😤😤
They’re nice ppl anyway so they wont be mean lol
You
Okay.. let me load up my discord
Rae 😴
Yayy!
I already bought among us for you last time I was over so you’re good to go!
‘What? When did she find the time to buy the game for me? We were literally together the whole time she was here.’ You thought, but quickly dismissed it and loaded up discord. Right as you got online, you got an invite from Rae. You quickly grabbed your headset and adjusted your mic before joining the call. You petted Royal in an attempt to calm your nerves as you saw 9 peoples profile pictures appear in front of you. You only recognized Rae’s, of course.
“Hey, (Y/N)!” Rae exclaimed, “Guys, this is my best friend (Y/N)! Introduce yourselves!”
“Hi, I’m Toast!” Said the man with the toast icon. You smiled at his profile picture. You found it cute.
“I’m Jack!” Said an Irish voice. You know Jack. You used to watch his videos a lot.
“I’m Poki!” Said a girl with a really sweet voice, “Nice to meet you!” You were about to say hello back when someone else chimed in.
“Hello, I’m Felix!” You recognized that Swedish accent. He was the most well known YouTuber, of course.
“Nice to meet you!” Said a really soft voice, “I’m Sykkuno!” His voice reminded you of an anime boy. You smiled to yourself.
“Hi, I’m Lily!” Said a really cute and high pitched voice. 
“Hi everyon-” You went to introduce yourself properly until you got cut off.
“I’m Corpse.” Said a deep, attractive voice. Your eyes widened for a second, his voice catching you off guard.
“H-hello,” You attempt to say hello again but this time you’re a little shaken up by Corpse’s voice, but you get it together by petting Royal once again. “I’m (Y/N). It’s nice to meet you all!”
“Your voice is so adorable!” Says Lily. You smile at the fact that someone who’s voice is equally as adorable complimented yours.
“Thank you!” You respond, “Your voice is adorable too, Oh my God!” 
Lily giggles at your compliment. “Alright!” Exclaimed Rae, “Ready to play (N/N)?” You quickly realized you forgot to load up Among Us before hand. You were silently kicking yourself for not doing such a simple thing. Now they’re gonna have to wait longer to play because of you and they already waited long enough for you to join the discord call.
“Um..” You stall as you hurriedly click on the Among Us icon. “I’m so sorry. I forgot to load it up.. but it’s loading right now!” Your eyes are glued to the screen as if it’ll make the game boot up faster. 
“That’s okay.” Said Corpse in the most kind voice. “It won’t take that long.” You feel heat rushing to your cheeks just by hearing his voice. Who is this man and why is he making you feel like this?
They all agreed with Corpse and continued chatting about whatever they were chatting about before you joined the call. You were half listening as you were trying to figure out what to do as the game loaded up. Just as you were about to ask Rae, Corpse sent you the game code through a private message. You typed “Thank you!” as you quickly entered your name and then the game code.
“Woo! (Y/N)’s here!’ Said Rae happily. “Choose your color and your hat!” ‘Where do I do that?’ You thought to yourself but quickly found it. You wanted to be pink but it wouldn’t let you choose it.
“Why isn’t it letting me choose pink?” You asked. 
“It’s because Corpse is pink.” Explained Lily. “He took it from me too.” She said with a sad, but funny, tone.
“I can be a different color.” Corpse said and quickly changed his color from pink to white. 
“Oh, Thank you!” You said happily and picked a flower to match it.
“No problem.” He said and you could hear the smile in his voice. It made butterflies appear in your stomach.
“Are you kidding me?!” Said a laughing Lily. “I literally ARGUED with you about letting me have pink!”
“I sense something happening...” Cooed Rae in a sing songy voice. The whole group then erupted in “Ooooo’s”. This made you blush. You covered your face even though they couldn’t see you and Corpse chuckled, which only made you blush more.
Before the game started they all explained to you how to play so you wouldn’t be lost. This calmed your nerves a bit and when the game started you were happily going around the ship completing your tasks. Watering the plants was your favorite so far since you found it satisfying how the plants grew. You saw Corpse run up to you and you made your character step away a bit because you didn’t want to get killed. He instead ran circles around you and you decided to follow him for the rest of the game for safety. You both encountered Rae and Toast by the vending machines but didn’t think much of it and waited for Corpse to finish his task. Until Rae killed you and Toast killed Corpse. “A double kill?!” You shouted to yourself, causing Royal to wake up and slowly get off your lap. “I’m sorry buddy..” You said to him as he laid down in his dog bed. You turn your attention back to the screen as someone found you and Corpse’s dead bodies.
“Um, bodies found by the vending machines.” Said Felix who didn’t sound all too confident. “Jack where were you?” He asked.
“I was in..” As Jack was about to explain himself you heard a ‘pop’ emit from your headphones and saw a red dot by the messages icon. You clicked it and saw it was a message from Corpse. You completely stopped caring about the arguing going on through your headphones as Jack was trying to claim innocence.
“I like your flower :)” It read. You smiled big and immediately typed back.
Your fingers hovered over the keys thinking about what to type back but you settled on a simple “Thank you :D”.
After two games or so everyone got tired and decided to head out. You all said your goodbyes and watched as each person slowly began to leave the call. You didn’t want to leave until you were sure everybody was gone. Everybody left but Corpse. “Hey..” He said, sounding a little shy but it was probably just because he was tired.
“Hi!” You said a little too excited. You immediately wished you could reword what you said a little calmer.
“So, uh..” He began, “Could I possibly get your number? For Among Us games I mean?” He didn’t sound too sure of himself but him asking this made you beam with excitement.
“Of course.” You said calmer than before, “But I don’t know what help I’d be as I’m terrible at this game.” You giggled.
You typed in chat your number, your fingers shaking slightly. “Nah, I liked playing with you.” He said more confident, “You make it more fun. Even though I haven’t ever spoken to you before.” He chuckled. You smiled at his words. Butterflies formed in your stomach hearing him laugh.
You and Corpse chatted a bit more until he decided he should go, but you wished you guys could have kept talking the whole night. You felt this connection with him that you couldn’t put into words. It felt so easy for you to talk to him and you didn’t feel as nervous around him as the others you met today. There was something so calming about him that washed your fears away. You shook your head from the thoughts and told yourself that you just met him today, you shouldn’t get ahead of yourself but it was hard not to.
You were laying in your bed scrolling through twitter when you got a text.
xxx-xxx-xxxx
hey its corpse
is this (Y/N)?
Your heart skipped a beat. You were excited Corpse texted you so fast, hoping you two could continue talking.
You
That’s me!
I thought you were going to sleep?
Corpse🥺🖤
nah i hardly ever sleep i just left because i didnt want to keep you up
i really enjoyed playing with you
You
I enjoyed playing with you too
We should play together again soon
Corpse🥺🖤
definitely
You’ve begun to become really good friends with Corpse over the past week. You and him would facetime each other whenever you could. You always were on facetime with him, actually. Whenever you were studying, you guys were talking. Whenever he was editing, you guys were talking. When you were about to go to bed, you guys were talking. 
Right now, you guys were facetiming as you were studying for an upcoming exam and he was trying to stay awake. You liked having him around when you were studying even if it was through a phone. You didn’t feel pressured to talk or have to worry about an awkward silence with him. It was comfortable silence.
You started to worry that you were keeping him up, though. “You can go to bed if you want,” You said softly as you looked up from your textbook to the black screen propped up against a few books. “ I don’t want to keep you up. You need some rest.”
“No..” He muttered, “I like having you around..”
“I like having you around too Corpsie but we can talk when you wake up.” You told him a little sternly in an effort to convince him to go to bed.
“Can I ask you something?” He asked out of the blue.
You paused before answering and shifted your gaze to the black screen once again. “Yeah sure, go ahead.” 
“Do you want to maybe stay over here for a bit?” He asked, “Whenever you’re free, I mean. If you don’t want to I get that too I just feel so drawn to you I want you closer to me. Is that weird? I’m sorry if that’s weird. Actually, forget I said-”
“I’d love to come over.” You told him with a smile. “When would you want me to be there?”
“As soon as possible.” He said in his raspy, tired voice. Butterflies formed in your stomach and you felt your heart skip a beat. This man was something else.
“I can be over there in the morning..” You start, “I just have to pack and everything. Is it okay if I bring Royal? I don’t want to leave him with my sister.” You look over to Royal sleeping peacefully on your bed, snoring away.
“Hell yeah!” Corpse exclaimed, “I love animals! Bring him over.” You giggled at his excitement.
Corpse ended up falling asleep soon after and you ended the call. As you were getting ready for bed you began to think of what Corpse’s place would be like and what you guys would do. You were definitely going to show him Stardew Valley, that was for sure. You pondered the thought of you finally confessing to him that you wanted to be not just his friend, but girlfriend. You’ve been wanting to do it for awhile now but you get too scared and end up chickening out, so you figured if he liked you like you like him, he’d make the first move. You started to make up scenarios in your head about finally hanging out with Corpse in person as you drifted off to sleep, hearing Royal snoring peacefully in the background.
It was the next morning and as soon as you woke up you changed into your favorite outfit and began to pack. You didn’t know how long you were staying for but you decided to pack about 2 weeks worth of clothes just to be on the safe side. Royal was sitting on the floor watching you as you hurried from your closet to the suitcase on your bed. You were happily humming as you were excited about the day. You heard your phone buzz and you quickly grabbed it from your bed as you saw the name pop up on the screen.
Corpse🥺🖤
hey :) 
heres the address:
You
Thanks! and hello 😊
You two texted until you were ready to go. You were definitely NOT looking forward to driving two and a half hours from LA to San Diego but you were so excited to see Corpse that the dread of the long car ride washed away.
You put Royal into his harness and plopped him in the back seat. He looked at you confused since he rarely ever gets to go for rides in the car. “We’re going to see a friend!” You tell him while petting his head. He then laid down and began to close his eyes.
After what seemed like forever you were finally outside Corpse’s apartment. You grabbed Royal and attached his leash to his harness and then proceeded to grab your giant (and heavy) suitcase out of the trunk. You struggled getting the suitcase up the apartment building stairs but you managed. You felt a sense of relief that his apartment building had an elevator so you didn’t have to deal with more stairs. The ones at the entrance were enough. While you were waiting for the elevator to take you to his floor you took this opportunity to text him.
You
On my way up!
Almost immediately after you sent it he read it. He started typing but the three dots quickly disappeared. Before you could question it the elevator doors opened to his floor. “Come on, Bud!” You said to Royal and motioned for him to go ahead. Royal got up from his sitting stance and lead the way. After passing 2 other doors, you were at Corpse’s. You knocked two times.
You heard shuffling on the other side and the door knob turning shortly after. Before you knew it, Corpse was in front of you. His eyes were looking at yours. You immediately smiled. “Hi.” Corpse said with a slight smile as well.
“Hi..” You said shyly. You didn’t know how to react now that he was in front of you and not behind a screen. He stepped aside and motioned for you to come inside. You entered his apartment and set your suitcase by the couch. Royal was pawing at Corpse’s leg, begging for pets.
“Aww, hi buddy!” Corpse said excitedly. “He’s so well behaved.” Corpse was talking to you now.
“Yeah, it took work though.” You laughed slightly. “Your place is really nice.” You said as you looked around. You noticed all of his mirrors were covered up, but you decided not to ask him about that. He probably had his reasons.
“Thank you.” Corpse said as he looked at you. “You look pretty.”
You blushed and turned your head away from him so he couldn’t see your pink cheeks. “Thank you.”
Corpse cleared his throat, “So uh, I don’t have a guest bedroom so I’ll take the couch for however long you want to stay.”
You quickly shot your head at him. “No no no I’m not letting you sleep on the couch in your own apartment.” You argued with him.
“Well, I’m not letting you sleep on the couch.” Corpse stated.
“Then we’ll share your bed.” You said with a shrug and headed towards his room to set your suitcase down, Royal following closely behind you. You didn’t see anything wrong with it. You and Rae share one whenever you guys sleep over at each other’s house and you thought this was no different
“O-okay.” He responded and quickly followed after you, “So, this is my room.” he said as you and him both entered.
“I like it!” You exclaimed as you looked around. You liked how dark it was in there. You smiled at him and he smiled back at you. That smile.. You thought and quickly fumbled with your suitcase as you set it down by his closet. Corpse came closer to you.
“Can I give you a hug?” Corpse said a little shyly, as if I’d say no.
“Of course!” You said and wrapped your arms around his neck. He was taken aback but quickly put his hands around your waist. You caught a whiff of his mild cologne which made you want to stay in the hug a little longer. You didn’t want to be weird though and pulled away from the embrace.
“I’m really happy you’re here.” He said as he looked into your eyes. I could kiss him right now, oh my God. Your mind raced, but you managed to get out some words.
“I am, too.” You said.
It’s only been about a day since you’ve been over at Corpse’s. Sharing the bed seems to be no big deal as he barely seems to sleep. You so far liked being there with him.
Right now, you were on the phone with an overly excited Rae.
“You’re at his HOUSE?!” She yelled excitedly in your ear. Your face cringed a little bit from the yelling.
“Yeah,” You told her, “He has a really nice place.” You said as you scanned his living room.
“I knew you guys would hit it off!” Rae said, “I should be a matchmaker or something.” You blushed at her comment.
“Nothing’s happened yet.” You said quietly, not wanting Corpse to hear you.
“Girl, you’re at his house.” Rae said in a obvious tone. You rolled your eyes.
“This could just mean he likes having me over as a FRIEND.” You told her. You were hoping that wasn’t the case though and Corpse did have feelings for you. You smiled at the thought.
“You are so oblivious.” Rae said with a sigh, “Anyway, I gotta go workout. Love ya! Hope everything goes well!” She said the last part in her sing songy voice.
“Love you too!” You said back and ended the call. What do I do now? You thought. Corpse was streaming so you couldn’t hangout with him right now and your physics class isn’t till a few hours. You were hungry, though, and decided to cook some lunch for you and Corpse. It’ll be a nice surprise for him. You smiled at the thought.
You made your delicious Dorito taco salad that you love so much. You made a bowl for Corpse as well and took it to his room where he resided. He didn’t seem to be streaming anymore and was just scrolling through Twitter on his computer.
“I come with food!” You say as you place the bowl down in front of him. You seem to have startled him as he jumped slightly when you spoke. He examined the bowl suspiciously.
“What is this?” He says cautiously of your creation.
“It’s Dorito taco salad.” You explain, “It has crushed up Doritos, of course, shredded chicken, lettuce, olives, and sour cream in it.” He seemed to be skeptical of it, which was a given every time you made it for someone new, but people ended up loving it when they tasted it. You were confused as to how many people found it weird since your mom made it for you when you were a kid a ton, so you were used to the delicious lunch dish.
“Okay.” He said and took a bite of it. His eyes lit up. “Oh my god, this is so good!” He exclaimed and took another bite. You giggled with excitement that he loved it like you did.
You both ate together and laid down on the bed as you talked about random things that were going on in your lives. You guys were laughing at a joke Corpse said until Corpse got serious.
“I have to tell you something.” Corpse said and looked into your eyes.
“Okay,” You said confused, ��Go ahead.”
He took a deep breath. “I like you.” He confessed, “Like, romantically. I have for awhile now actually and I don’t know what it is about you and I thought I was done with love but you make me feel so happy and different from anyone else I’ve talked to. You don’t have to feel the same way but I couldn’t keep my feelings in for any longer.”
You paused for a moment. Is this actually happening? Are you in a dream? “I like you too, Corpse.” You say softly. His eyes beam with excitement..
“Really?” He asks.
You laugh at his bewilderment. “Yes, really!”
He tackles you in a hug on the bed. You giggle from his excitement. He’s on top of you and he lifts his head up from your neck to look you in the eyes. You get a rush of emotions as you see the care and love in his eyes as he’s looking at you.
You blurt out what you were thinking in that exact moment. “Kiss me.”
He leans in and kisses you softly. One hand is holding him up on the bed as the other is cupping your cheek. You take one hand and tangle it in his hair. This causes him to deepen the kiss with you. The kiss turns rough. You’re both so in the moment you don’t want to come up for air but you guys manage to keep going by taking in air when your lips part for brief moments. The hand that was cupping your cheek is now next to your head, taking the responsibility of holding him up. The other hand is trailing up and down your thigh, squeezing your thigh tightly ever so often. You eventually break the heated kiss and look up at him. You were hoping he could see the love you had for him in your eyes.
“I liked that.” You say smiling.
He chuckled at your words. “I like it too.”
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laketaj24 · 3 years
Text
Serotonin III
A/N: Hey! Here’s the final part!!! I hope you enjoy it! I am working on three requests for Mr. Baker and Part 2 to The Business! My taglists and requests are open! Let me know what you think! Happy Reading!
Pairing: Colson Baker X Reader
Warnings: Language, Nudity, Lowkey Pettiness, Smut, orgasm denial
Inspo Song: Acting Like That : Yungblud ft. MGK, Travis Barker
Serotonin Masterlist,  MY MASTERLIST
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Meg: I can’t believe you left me at the club! I was joking with your petty ass!
Colson: you said if I wanted her, go get her. I did
Meg: so you really are choosing her over me?
Meg: hello?
Meg: I know god damn well you getting my texts, you asshole
Meg: Colson.
Colson: who is this?
Meg: real funny
Colson: what you want?
Meg: Are you still coming tonight?
The hours  passed since he left seemed like seconds; maybe you’d fucked up. Overreacted by busting his phone up and making him go.
Shit.
The fact that he left his phone left meant Colson knew you’d fucked it up this time. You tossed the phone on the couch and stared up at the ceiling, and to make matters worst, you couldn’t even text and say come back because you had the phone. You’d fucked up.
Guilt played a weird role in your relationship, making Colson feel guilt, easy as pie. He did shit all the time, and even when he didn’t, his little ass found reasons for him to still feel some guilt. Guilt rarely rested on your shoulders, but here tonight, it rested heavily on your shoulders. You stare down at the text messages, there were several avenues you could take to resolve the issue. The first was just say you were sorry; apologies meant a lot. But a text wouldn’t do; for starters, it wouldn’t do because you had his phone. He wouldn’t see it. Secondly, Colson would eat the texted apology and spit it out in your face if you did that to him. Your arguments had been more than toxic in the past, and you may or may not have told him text apologies were trash. The only actual resolution was to drive over to the house and do it face to face. Unfortunately, that would not be an easy feat either.
You dressed quickly, taking one of his out of the box outside your bedroom. You slide on his purple EST sweatsuit. His aroma still lingered even though it’d been washed. The musky scent of his earthy Cologne intertwined with his weed because the man smoked enough for his whole team. It was a scent you’d grown accustomed to, felt like home, even sliding back into his clothes.
The drive over usual took forty minutes, traffic and all, but today it lasted ten, or it felt like ten, and no matter how many times you rehearsed your apology, it still tasted like dirt when you said it.
“Colson, I overreacted.” You braced a smile in your rearview mirror and then leaned into the steering wheel. “Colson, you’re gonna forgive me because you’re a fucking cheater.” You growled and slammed your fist into the passenger’s seat. “Colson- I am sorry I broke your phone. I will go with you to buy another one.” You laughed and reached for the vape filled with the THC vape. It’d be best to be high talking to him. The vape hits smooth, the fruity flavor hitting your tongue before your lungs, and then a plume of smoke fills the car as you exhale. Fuck.
The knock on your window scares you, but only a little as Slim waves. He points down, signaling you to roll the window down. You do, and the plume leaves with the small gust of wind the fresh air brings. “What are you doing out here Y/N? It’s three in the morning?”
“Shit.” You glance at the fluorescent blue digits on the clock. “Damnit.”
“Yeah, you good?” Slim smirks knowing the answer.
“Yes, I’m fine.”
“I can go get him.”
“No,” you said quickly. “I’ll come in a few.”
“bet, I’m gonna lock this gate.” He laughed as he walked away.
He faded from your view, and you slinked down in your seat, regathering what you were planning once more. Ten minutes passed, and you hit the vape four more times, feeling your body relax and the tension dissipates. It was time; either he forgave you, or you would just sleep in the car until he did. Every light in the house was on, upstairs and down; they never slept at night. They just slept until the next afternoon and started the party all over again. It's the one reason you refused to live with him; your sleep schedule would be fucked.
You stand at the grand doors and knock a few times, hoping they hear you over the loud ass music that played in the room over. It stopped abruptly after a few seconds, and you could hear his long strides headed to the door.
“If you don’t have food, go back home.” Colson’s playful voice came from the other side.
“I-,” You chuckled. “I don’t have food; everything was closed.”
“When I apologized to you, I had fucking food. Go get food and come back. The pizza place on Simmons is open until five.”
“Colson, please.”
“You can call Door Dash or whoever, but the entry fee is food.” The music started back, Dopeman – lyrics raged from the door, and your mouth dropped.
This fucking asshole had audacity and some fucking nerve, You banged against the door, but this time the music did not stop. He was being serious, a food fucking entry fee. Fuck him! Ten minutes passed, and he did not budge. The music continued, and you swore you could hear actual drums being played inside.
Fine. He wanted food; you’d bring him food. It was hard to strip in the back of a car, but you did. You stripped out of your clothes and grabbed the one pair of heels that never left your car. You called them fuck me heels, but it wasn’t because you were trying to get fucked. They were six inches and incredibly hard to walk in; you hated them. The most said was usually FUCK ME, when you wore them. If Colson wanted to be an ass, you’d level the playing field. You liked putting on a show too. You laid on your horn for a minute, knowing it would get his attention, clicked the headlights to your car, and stepped out into the crisp air of the night. He didn’t have too many neighbors but now was their opportunity if they wanted to see you naked. You stood bare ass in front of your car awaiting the jealous Colson. You knew well to show his face, and like clockwork, he arrived.
“What the fuck are you doing!” He yelled, charging from the house. “Y/N.”
“You said to bring food. Well, come eat.”
“You’re not fucking cute.” Colson snapped as he slid out of his jacket. He quickly wrapped your body in the black leather jacket and tossed you over his shoulder. “Fucking spoiled ass. You could have just went and got the motherfucking pizza.”
“It’s late.”
“I know what time it is,” He hissed. Colson entered the house, eyeing his friends. “Don’t even look at her.” He warned as he carried you up the steps; his hand came down on your ass with each step until you two finally reached his bedroom. Colson tossed you onto the plush black comforter and stood in front of you, “Why are you here?”
“You left your phone.” The line seemed innocent enough, but there was little innocence behind it.
“You broke it.” His confused look makes you laugh; cupping your mouth, he smacks. “Don’t come over here tryna laugh at you throwing shit at me Y/N.”
“I thought-.”
“I know what you thought.” He pointed at you, “So don’t try to sugarcoat it. You thought I was dicking  you down and then going back to her. Then you read them messages and realized you were a whole asshole.” He stated matter of fact.
“So, you’re not gonna let me talk.”
“Did you let me talk before you tossed me out? Why are you here anyway? It’s four in the morning. ”
“I couldn’t sleep.” You attempted to kick off the heels, and he grabbed your foot, stopping you from sliding it off.
“That guilty conscience is heavy, huh??” He cracked a smile and shook his head. “Leave them on.”
“You won.” You whispered. “I fucked up,” the omission tumbled from your lips unwillingly.
“Was that an apology?” Colson teased.
“I’m not saying it again.”
“Oh, you gone say that and more.” He laughed. “Sorry, ass apology.”
“Col-,” You giggled, “I’m tired. Can I apologize tomorrow, please?”
He kneeled in front of you, rubbing his hands up your legs, his touch ignited something in you, even if you were sleepy. “Oh and the next day too, shit, I’m never gonna let you live this shit down. So you can apologize all the fuck you want, but you’re not going to sleep right now. I haven’t had you in my bed in months. I wanna fuck you to sleep.”
“ I’m halfway there.” You smiled lazily at him, raking your fingers through his hair. “We have all tomorrow for make-up sex.”
“You the only person that’s doing the making up.” He reminded playfully.
“So you’ve said.”
Sleep found you minutes after you snuggled into his lean frame; you missed sleeping glued to Colson no matter how hot he felt. He nestled into you as well, pulling you against his chest, tracing his long fingers down the line of your back, humming tunes to an unwritten song when he thought you were sleeping. He didn’t sleep much tonight didn’t prove any different as the hues magenta cut across the once dark sky outside the window.
“Morning came fast.” You mumbled.
“It’s been three hours.” He whispered. “Shit, You still tired I can see it in you. You don’t have to get up.” He pulled the cover over your body and sighed. “I gotta be somewhere at eleven.” Colson groaned. “I’m gone cancel that shit.”
“No, do what you said you were going to do. Get some sleep.” You climbed out of bed, pulling drapes closed and bringing darkness back into the room. “It’s no point in missing money.” You said his words back to him.
“Yeah, whatever.” He watched you, his tongue between his teeth. “I really thought you were not coming over here tonight. I was tryna find ways to apologize to you for shit I didn’t do. It’s already fucked up when I have to apologize for this shit I did do.”  Colson adjusted his pillow and waited for you to return to the bed.
“I know I fucked up, damn.” The walk of shame was generally when you’d fucked a one-night stand, but right now, it was walking back to the bed to face him. “I get really pissy when it comes to you. Like—I wanna fight.” You cut a smile and sunk back into the bed, this time angling yourself to face him.
“Why fight me? I didn’t send the text?” He pulled you towards him and rolled himself on you. The weight was comfortable and one you’d craved. “Huh?” Colson exhaled before he leaned down and took your nipple in his mouth. He held the small nub between his two teeth, tugging a little before he began to suck.
“You’re gonna be tired.”
“Man fuck that interview.” He whispered before diverting his attention to the other nipple and repeating the same actions. You were already wet for him; one look could get you ready. Eager for him, you wrapped your legs around his waist, grinding your pussy against his boxers. He could make the foreplay lasts as long as the sex, and you both had things to do later. There was no time for the slow sex; you damn near wanted to be punished – but he wasn’t in that mode.
Colson pushed his boxers down and lifted your waist from the bed, putting you in the perfect angle to take him but instead of slamming into you as you desired, he teased. He stroked the length of his cock down the line of your pussy, soaking himself in you before finding his way to your entrance and stopping.
“Stop playing.”
“I want that apology.” Colson smiled, looking down at you.
Your pussy jumped with anticipation. “I’m sorry.”
“Fake ass apology,” He pushed an inch into you and then pulled out. “Make it real.” He whispered.
You groaned, frustrated, slapping his chest in a tantrum. “I said I was fucking sorry.”
“Mean ass apology--,” he shook his head. “That’s how you wanna play, let’s fucking play.” Colson slammed into you, and your mouth opened in pleasure. His pace was intense, knocking the breath out of you with each stroke, but you didn’t want to breathe; you wanted to cum all over him. “Say that shit as you mean it.”
“I said-,” You scratched down his back halfway, and he pins your hands above your head, thrusting into your harder and faster. “Oh,”  Tremors take over, rocketing through your body. “Yes,” You buckled against him. “Yes.”
“Yeah, keep saying yes.” He pulled out of you, slapping three fingers to your clit. “I bet you won’t cum.”
Your eyes snapped open. “I’m sorry.”
Another slap to your clit, and the pleasure had faded just a small tinge of pain, and he started to fuck you once more, long strokes, hitting your g-spot each time. “I don’t believe that shit; this pussy is just greedy. You wanna cum, you ain’t sorry.” He whispered.
“I am sorry.” You whined as your body climbed back up to the precipice of a release. “Baby, I’m so sorry.” Your swollen clit throbbed, one stroke away from cumming, and he stopped slapping your clit again, bringing pain that made you cry out. “I am sorry.” You cried. “I should not have thrown your phone.” You mewled. “I should have talked to you.” You pleaded. “Believed all that shit you said.”
“Why?”
“I don't know, let me cum.” You pulled at the one hand that had secured both of your wrists. “Please, daddy.” The lustful tone made him smile.
“You can call me daddy all the fuck you want… you ain’t getting what you want yet.” You rolled your hips, coaxing the movement from him, and he shook his head. “Stop being a fucking brat.” He warned. “Just tell me why you’re sorry.”
“Because I want to be with you.” You admitted. “I love you.”
He grinned. “You better mean that shit too.” Colson started back fucking you slow, releasing your hands but making sure he was in control. You flooded with relief feeling him give in to you, gripping your hips to meet his thrusts, all while burying his face in your neck to nip his favorite spots on your body. This is what you had wanted all along, to be with the man who’d somehow drove you insane but simultaneously become an innate piece of your life that brought you a balance you didn’t know you needed. He was, in a way, as your serotonin.
 A/N: I know I described my Meg in this fic, but just a lil disclaimer she is not Megan Fox lol I realized that could be confusing.
Taglist: @taytayize123 @ctrlszn​ @supernaturalvikingwhore​ @jae-writes-fanfiction​ @bigsisbria​ @placeoffreedom​ @kyla-queen​​ @missdforever​​ @gottatoxicattitude​​ @bang-kim-bap​​ @msreshel​​ @blowmymbackout​​ @titty-teetee​​ @strawberry-skyes​​ @mauvecherie​​ @savageiz​​ @luci-her​​ @littlelovebug98​ @babyboy-cody​​ @hellshedevil​​ @daddyavesxx​​ @crystalbaby12 @jeonsblackgf​​ @fangirl199812 @thatonegrl-1 @isyoongi​​ @lifeisabitchandsoareyou​​ @cartoonlover101​ @therandomthoughtsofmsparker​​ @bowwowzer @fandomfic-galore​​ @mayaslifeinabox​​ @lasren​​  @szaplsdrop @heavenly1927​​ @mvrylee​​ @canyoubuymetoast​​ @littlelovebug98​
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loyaltykask · 3 years
Text
Okay, I can explain
A crossover nobody wanted and nobody asked for expect for me
2003!Dark!Turtles x 2007!Movie
Leonardo has a good explanation to why he went MIA for those extra 6 months. He swears! After all, if you find a secret underground lab in Brazil being run by a certain mortal enemy of yours, cough Agent Bishop cough, that made 4 clones of you and your brothers, what would you do? Not adopt them?
Chapter 2
He should have called. 
He should have called. Texted, sent a letter, carrier pigeon. Literally anything. Anything would have been better than this. 
Mikey and Donnie were quick to get up at the first cry, one falling to the floor and the other sitting up so fast that he also fell to the floor afterwards. Master Splinter helped in the sense that he got the other three crying children off his back but they would only settle once Leo sat down and was able to hold each and everyone at the same time. 
Raph was no help at all just staring at Leo like he was simultaneously having a seizure and giving a lecture in proper samurai etiquette. Big help he was.
But somehow Splinter managed to move them all to the living room where any ‘Welcome Back’ hugs and greetings were quickly overshadowed by the ‘What in The Ungodly Green Earth are You Holding?’ and ‘Can I Hold Them Leo Pleeeeease I Promise I’ve been Working with Kids and Won’t Drop Them Like The First Time,’ which did not inspire confidence. 
“Okay,” Donatello slouched on the chair he was previously sleeping on. Leo felt guilty waking his brother up like this. Awake he looked even more tired, bags under his eyes and a posture that suggested he hasn’t had a real night's rest in days. What has his brother been doing to make him so tired? “So, Leo! Um, welcome back. We’ve missed you and... glad to see you are okay.”
“I knew you were fine,” Mikey cut in quickly as he scooted closer on the couch they were both sharing, “Sure after the first month without a letter I was worried, and also the second month and when you missed our 20th birthday, happy belated birthday by the way. We thought about going to get you ourselves, had my bag packed and everything, but Splinter said your life force was stable and everything, so we thought you were just... you know… taking you time, I guess…”
He really should have called.
“Buuuuuuuut…” the melancholy look on Mike’s face was placed with curious bright blue eyes that had barely held excitement, “We can see you were buuuuuusy~ OW! Raph!”
Raph lowered his hand. He was the only one not sitting, standing near the couch edge farthest he could be without leaving the circle. 
“Michelangelo, Raphael,” Splinter slightly chided from the only other recliner in the living room at the other end of the couch, “I believe that Leonardo was quite the story to tell us. Let us hear what your brother has to say before we make assumptions,” he directed pointedly to Mickey’s chagrin. 
“Come on,” Mikey says, pointing to the children on Leo’s lap. The red clone leaning heavily on Leo’s side hiding himself between the cushions and Leo’s shell. The blue and purple clones were happy to sit on Leo’s leg, one each as he bounced them every few seconds or so. Blue enjoyed the game as Purple wouldn’t hesitate to smack Leo’s leg to make him stop. The yellow/orange clone was the only one that was still whimpering as Leo used his free hand to hold the youngest to his chest, “How else do you make babies?”
Leo only barely manages to hold back the loud sigh from his lips. He wanted to sleep. He wanted to leave. He wanted to get this over with.
He should have called. 
He adjusted the twins on his lap as Red leaned closer to him. His oldest was actually quite shy despite his hostile appearance and seemed to hate the strangers around them trying to hide himself behind Leo. His youngest was similar in that he seemed content with closing his eyes, shutting the world out until the bad things were over.
Leo knew that Orange had very similar curious eyes as his counterpart. 
“Do you mind holding him?” Leo gestured the yellow/orange clone from his chest to Mikey. 
Mickey’s mouth hung a little, “Wha- you serious? I mean I was serious about the whole working with kids thing, but they are usually around the 6 to 10 age, and have a mean right hook and- oh!”
Mikey tensed up horribly as the small newborn size clone was placed silently in his lap. The clone’s eyes opened just a tad releasing two very deep shades of purple. Once the youngest saw he was not with his original dad the eyes opened wider… and wider, taking up nearly half the kid’s head. Mickey starred in both fear and wonder at the child that looked so much like him yet nothing at all. 
Then the kid’s eyes pointed in different directions. 
“Hey, Leo,” Mikey mock whispers, “I think the kid’s a little broken in the seeing department.”
Leo lets out an amused huff, “No that’s normal. That's just how he sees.”
“He looks like a bug,” Raph had gotten closer to lean over the couch to stare as well, “Kid’s doing a lot of staring for someone that can’t fight back.”
“Boys,” Splinter chided again, more lightly this time. 
Leo readjusted his grip now with both hands-free. Blue was happy to just handhold, which escalated to lightly gnawing at his hand, but Purple needed more stimulus thus Leo petting his spiked head, as he tried to remember his practiced explanation,  
“It was nearing the end of my 6th month in Brazil,” he starts, “It was the last week when I went to town for one last supply run when I heard news about White Men being seen off the village perimeter. I thought it was poaching at best or kidnapping at worst and that I could squeeze in one last mission before heading off. Found the guys, suits for sure, followed them back to their base where it turns out it wasn’t either. It was Bishop.”
Leo paused as his family let out a range of disbelief through anger. Mickey sucked in his breath while Donnie and Raph had a disturbingly similar look of hatred, not unnatural on his red brother but looked far too similar on his far more patient purple brother.
“That fu- fruitloop?!” Raph quickly corrects himself, “I thought that freak was taken care of What the shell was he doing in Brazil of all places?”
“Nothing good,” Donatello grumbles.
“Raphael, calm yourself,” Master Splinter slouches in his own seat, “This is disturbing news indeed but I will not have another… outburst,” he gestured to the pathetically whimpering red clone trying harder to hide even more behind Leo’s shell from Raph’s yelling.
Raph only sneers but otherwise doesn’t shout anymore at least. 
Leonardo took that as his cue to continue, “I infiltrated. Inside, it looked more like a research center than a military base, I think it gave cover to whatever locals took notice as more a wildlife preserve. I thought that it was in our best interests to see what Bishop could be up to. Long story short I was able to sneak in pretty easily to the main floors until I found there were underground labs with some of the most advanced technology I’ve seen. On par with Donatello's.”
“Underground labs,” Mikey shakes his head, “Those are never good bro.” He relaxed a bit more as he got us to Orange in his lap. Orange tried to escape his little burrito blanket wrapping causing Mikey to hold the child a bit closer. Orange seemed perfectly content wiggling for his own amusement and the sentiment was shared with his counterpart. 
Leo was glad they were getting along. Maybe Mickey really was working with children. Whatever that entailed. 
“The place was filled with scientists from what I could tell. Specifically bioengineers and biologists. It was only luck that I stumbled across their… experiments. As insane as it sounds, they were trying to create chimera for warfare.”
Donatello gave a low groan. Leo knew his compassionate brother would never even think to use his tech to deliberately hurt others (unless they were attacking his family) but to help instead. And to see his fellow scientists use such technological advances for such things only brought him more disappointment in the human world. Leo could relate on some level. 
“What did you do?” Donnie finally asked. Eyes straying to the children in his brother's lap. Raph looked more uncomfortable, pacing behind the couch trying his damnest not to lose his cool. Micky just held Orange closer.
“I couldn't do much,” Leo answered honestly and regretfully, “Most of the species were already considered unstable and brain-dead, some kind of cancer or organ failure or something, and… they were just in pain… none of them could even move anymore and I didn't know what else…”
Mikey took his hand, or at least grabbed his upper arm that was still held by Blue, and looked at him with eyes full of sadness but understanding, “Dude, we know you if there was another way you would have found it. That much I know.”
The amount of faith his younger brother still had in Leo almost made him choke. 
“Mercy isn’t always the easiest path, my son,” Splinter said sadly, “Nor is it the same for everyone. You’ve made hard decisions and you must live with those choices. That is all any of us can do.”
Leo took a steady breath, “I destroyed as much data and information I could while down there. Computers, papers, anything really… and then I found… them.”
And thus the center of the room came back towards his boys. Donatello looked at them with more pity than anything else. Mikey's eyes were still wide with curiosity. But Raphael’s hostility only grew. 
“So you are telling me you brought four of Bishop's creations into our home!” Raph growled, “What the shell were you thinking! You had no problem putting the rest of the animals down!”
“It’s not the same and you know it!” Leo snaps back, holding his boys closer. Purple startled at the loud noise but Blue let go of Leo’s hand to reach out to his twin giving him both a distraction and comfort, “You weren’t there, Raph. The chimeras weren’t the end goal; they were just experiments and we’re seen as a means to an end. But these kids were the end products. Bishops have been taking our DNA over the years and re-made us! They have our DNA… they have our blood.”
The room fell silent at the outburst. Raph looked like he wanted to puke, Mikey might not be far behind. Donnie was gripping his armchair tighter, “Did you… please tell me you destroyed anything he had on us. DNA records, samples, anything, everything!”
“I did,” Leo said with confidence, “If he was that pissed when he saw when I finished if it was anything to go by. Probably thought it would all be safe in one location miles away from New York,” Leo gently started to brush Blue’s head and reached to brush Red’s head as well, “When I saw them… I really thought Bishop created… monsters. Perfect soldiers under his control. Unthinking and unfeeling.” 
He pulled the red clone from behind him, “But… when I saw them. Ray was standing over his brothers, protecting them. He thought I was going to hurt them. And then Miguel started to cry and I knew they were alive. Like we are. They weren’t dying. They were scared and wanted to live. I couldn't leave them. I couldn’t just let Bishop have them and I couldn’t just take their lives when they were given the worst start for their lives. So I took them. Burnt the facility to the ground on my way out. And I’ve been traveling the past 6 months by foot trying to get Bishop's goons off my back. Lost them back in Mexico but still felt safer to travel by foot. I thought that if I contacted you he would intercept it but…” 
Red shuffled out from behind Leo’s shell now facing him. His wide eyes open showing a deep amber color, so similar to his counterpart yet so different as he looks to comfort his guardian. 
The room was silent trying to dish out the story that was untold. Splinter looking more put off that another enemy has arisen. Donnie takes it more in stride finding comfort that their DNA was destroyed, though he knew he had to be double sure. Mikey looked perturbed at the idea of being cloned like some kind of B-rated horror movie, and Raph… well he stopped pacing at least... which might be even worse. 
“...Ray?”
Leo looked at Mikey who repeated, “You said Ray. And Miguel.”
Red tilted his head at the call making Mikey’s signature smile widen. 
Leonardo, the fearless leader, flushed a deep green, “I, um, well I couldn't just call them serial numbers the whole time… so I gave them… names.”
“You named them,” Raph deadpans, “You? The guy who named his swords after Bushido nerds.”
“Musashi and Kamiizumi are not nerds!” Leo was quick to quip back. It was almost relaxing. At least with banter, it's not bickering which Leo will take any other day of the week, “And… while I did give them names I don't think they are too bad.”
“Well, what are they?!” Mikey squeals, “I’m tired of thinking of them as Red, Blue, Purple, and Orange. Those are colors, not names. Maybe nicknames but like later!”
Leo gulps as he gestures first to Red leaning heavily on his side. Red was the largest of his brothers both in size and height, looking the most like a toddler. His appearance was the most startling at first, six small horns covering his head, two spikes on each jawline, and even more spikes decorating his shell. He just had spikes everywhere. From his elbows to his shoulder, to his knees. He had claws instead of fingers with his largest being his thumb claws. He was also covered in scars, small precise ones to large and cruel both for the sake of evil intentions. Leo wraps a thick blanket around his shell, making an impromptu poncho and a small wrap around his head, making him easier for picking up and hugging capability. 
“This is… Raymondo Zackeal.”
“Awww!”
“You got to be fucking kidding me.”
“Raph! Not in front of the kids!”
“That’s so cute!”
“He ain’t old enough to understand, Don!”
“Hi Ray-Ray! I’m your Uncle Mikey!”
Red, Ray hid his face in Leo’s side, not liking the attention he was getting, “Guys, calm down. He’s… he's the oldest and was at the lab the longest. He remembered the most of what happened and doesn’t like sudden movements or loud noises.”
“They’re not the same age?” Donnie asked more curiously now.
Leo shook his head, “From what I can tell they were created by DNA sample size. Raph had the most apparently since he has been in the most fights.”
“Fights that I win.”
“So they created him first,” Leo rubbed Ray’s head, careful of the spike under the bandana, “I think he’s around 2 years old, maybe. They didn’t have enough of our DNA to make exact clones so… they combined the DNA with other animals. They used a horned lizard for Raymondo.”
“So that’s why he's so big and spikey!” Mikey gushes, “I was about to say I thought lack of green pigment was like an aesthetic choice but adding the horned, claws, and sharp teeth are just genetic, good to hear.”
Leo had to laugh at that, “Ray was… very hostile at first. Didn’t trust me or anything besides his brothers. He’s very protective over them. I think it's because he was so used to adults hurting him that he thought I was going to do the same.”
Leo continued to brush Ray’s spiked head as he leaned closer slowly coming out of hiding and closer to Purple, “I was very honored when Ray started to open up a bit more. He’s very sweet, I swear. He’s only hostile when he feels threatened.”
“Sounds strangely familiar~” Mikey dodges the incoming slap, “Hey! Baby on board, dude!” he pointed to the yellow lump still in his lap.
“No kid is going to save you from that mouth of yours!”
Splinter leans forward, “He has a strong spirit. Despite his hardships, he still chooses not only to survive but to live.”
Ray only blinked at the old master, seemingly the least afraid of the furry rat.
“What about… Blue and Purple,” Donnie ventures. “They look about the same size.”
“They are twins actually,” Leo supplies, “Purple is… Dante Othello and Blue is Levio Leocardo.”
Mickey burst into giggles, “O-Othello?!”
“It’s a good name!”
“I’m honored Leo, really. Huge Shakespeare fan.”
“Levio Leocardo… talk about hubris, Jungle Boy.”
“I-I couldn’t decide, okay! That’s what middle names are for!”
“We don’t have middle names.”
“No, Michelangelo, while I did name you all after something personal to me, I was not very creative when it came to your namesake. Leonardo had far more freedom and far more choices to dwell on.”
Leo tried to reign in his blush, “Dante is a couple of months older than Levio,” he gets out, “I think Bishop took more of your DNA to get started after the whole… double mutation. I think he just got mine from regular battles. I think they are about a year old considering they were going only through procedures at the lab, they weren’t being...tested on yet.”
Donnie’s eyes darken at the mention of his double mutation, “Yeah, he would have the perfect opportunity to do that, wouldn't he?” he tried to refocus, “What animals are they shared with?”
Leo held Levio up. Levio was blue-tinted with several long thin yellow stripes around his shoulders and head covering him completely. He had two long red stripes down his face making him look more predatory and his eyes were hetero-chromatic, his left eye is red and the right eye was blue. His claws are thinner but a lot longer and sharper than Ray’s. His shell was all black, being smoother than his brother, being more scaly in nature, that connected to a long thick tail, “Levio is combined with a komodo dragon. And yes, he is venous but only a little,”
An incredulous “A little?” from Raph went ignored. 
“And Dante seems to share traits with an iguana,” he pets the spike on Dante's back. Dante with a more purple hue, had green spikes going down his head, giving him a little mohawk that was adorable honestly, all the way to the back of his shell to a long thin spiked tail. His eyes mirror his twin’s in that it was his right eye was red while his left was blue. Another similarity was the long sharp nails. He had two large circles decorated his lower jaw but any other patterns were long rectangles like strips that covered his whole body. 
“Dante’s nails aren’t so much of an issue as long as I cut them and keep them short but he does get into places he ain't supposed to be. They are both trouble makers,” Leo gives both of the twins a faux stern look as both of them stare blankly back. Until Levio gently smacks Leo’s cheek with a tiny clawed hand.
Splinter chuckles at the sight, “I remember when you were young yourself Leonardo, curious to explore and prone to adventure. I see they have gained your spirit.”
“Little Leo a trouble maker,” Raph grumbles, “Must have blocked that out of my memory.”
“Well!” Mickey gently picks up the yellow clone, “What about baby me? What name did you give him?!”
Orange was more than happy with being manhandled. Leo found his youngest still in the test tubes. He was scared that if he opened the tube that the small creature would die. He wasn’t given much of a choice when Bishop shot at him and missed, hitting the container instead. Leo dived to catch the fourth clone, finding a pulse still strong despite the sudden change in environment.
His youngest was mostly yellow in color but he was sprinkled with orange spots, on his face, shoulder, head, everywhere there were spots of orange. His eyes were a deep purple with several rings around each other and while they were able to point in different directions at different times he knew that his youngest was very capable. His head was a little misshapen to fit his eyes as his eyesockets were far more pronounced; a little more animalistic but still had his turtle heritage in there. The cloth hid his smoother shell, similar to Levio’s and thicker claws like Ray’s. His tail was long but curled into a perfect circle when free. He never had to face Bishop and never had the experience of being tested on, looking at the world with wide and curious eyes. 
Leo smiled gently at his youngest, still swaddled in his blanket prison, “Miguel. Miguel Angelo. He’s the youngest like you. Just a baby.”
Mikey over dramatically clutches his heart, still careful of his clone, “Leo, bro, my favorite brother. You named him literally after me. Me! Suck it, Raph!”
“What do you mean by suck it?!” Raph snips back, “They all got our names! Fearless isn’t exactly thinking outside the box here! Zackeal? That’s practically my name with a Z.”
“Dante is very unique,” Donnie hums, “A great storyteller is nothing else.”
“Miguel is based on a chameleon from what I can tell. That's why his eyes are like that. And his tongue.”
“Tongue?” Micky asks, “What you mea-AH!”
Mickey’s non-question was answered as Miguel’s long and sticky tongue smacked him in the face. 
“Ah, that means he’s hungry,” Leo calmly says over Mickey’s stream of ‘ew ew ew ew ew.’ He reaches for his old bag, taking out a single dented can, “Here, trade-off.”
Without much protest, Mikey somehow ends up with Levio in his lap and Donnie quietly takes Dante from his other leg. Leo tried to think of the last time he didn’t have one of his sons in his lap as he was quickly derailed by putting Miguel in between his legs as he opened the can. 
“Is that… worms?!” Raph leaning on the armrest to get a closer look. He had gotten further and further in the family circle with or without his realization, “Don’t tell me- You are not going to-!”
“What else am I supposed to feed them?” Leo asks right back as he takes a single blue worm and holds it less than a foot away from Miguel’s face. Miguel’s cross-eyes focused back at the meal as his tongue zipped out to quickly grab the meal and nom at it slowly, “He’s actually quite picky. He only likes the blue ones.” 
“EW!” all three of his brothers said at once, “Leo! He’s just a kid” “The humanity! The lack of humanity!” “We have food at the house, Leo!”
Splinter raises a single brow, “I recall a time when I didn’t hear any complaint about food when it came to bugs, mold, and algae in our first few years of living.”
That turned all four of the rat’s son a different shade of green, “Master Splinter please,” Donnie begs as he tried to keep Dante’s curious claws from scratching his hand, “We had just come out our mutations, and considering we lived underground it was in our instincts to keep to known food sources until we were old enough to probably digest dairies and fats.”
“The same here,” Leo holds another worm for Miguel to catch, “I only know they are combined with us and even more animal DNA. I don't know what they can eat and didn’t exactly have time to ask the scientists leaving the burning building a simple question about diet. So I kept it to what I knew most about turtles and their respected spices,” he held up a fifth worm, “lots of bugs and meat.”
“... he is a pretty good catch,” Mikey mutters, now more in amazement at Miguel’s tongue than disgust. 
Ray started to get fussy, wanting his guardian's attention after so long, “Hmmm, hmmm!”
Raphael picks up Ray out of nowhere, “How do you get his kid to quiet down?”
“Wait, Raph, NO-!”
But it was too late, huge pools of red liquid came to Ray’s eyes and he started crying and thrashing!
“Shit!” Raph barely held onto the thrashing toddler, trying to avoid small but sharp claws, “I didn't do anything, I swear!”
Leo quickly put Miguel on Mickey’s lap as he jumped over the couch to grab Ray. Try as he might to cover Ray’s spiker back with a cloth, his claws and horns still caused small cuts on Leo’s hand and chest as Ray kept thrusting, “That’s normal. The blood in his eyes I mean, that means he’s panicking.”
“WHat?!”
“He must get that from the horned lizard DNA,” Donnie says trying to determine if Leo needs help or not as he still has his own kid on his lap, “Horned lizards can actually shoot blood from their eyes in the face of predators. They rarely do it to humans though.”
“Dudes,” Mickey says as he tried to balance both Levio and Miguel on his lap, inexperienced but trying so hard, “Our family just got a lot weirder.”
“Family? We’re keeping them?!”
“What else are we supposed to do, Raph?” Leo asks as Ray’s cries turn into small whimpers clinging to his guardian for dear life. Leo used his hood to dry the blood/tears from his oldest face.
“Not keeping them?” Raph asks back, “We can’t take care of them!”
“Oh sure, let me just give them back to Bishop so he can turn them into weapons of mass destruction. Or maybe an orphanage that accepts giant mutant lizard-turtles?”
“Leo I get your trying to get the good guy here but they are not our responsibility!” Raph pushes, “They are only going to cause us trouble or they are going to get hurt because of our trouble! We aren’t babysitters.”
“Aren’t they?” Leo shouts back, “They have our blood and even if they didn’t, they are still our responsibility because of us. Because Bishop sees us as monsters and he wanted his own control. Even if they don't have our DNA they are like us.”
“So you just go AWOL for 6 months!” Raph snarls right back, relying on familiar rage, “6 extra months without a fucking word-” “Language Raph” “-you could have said something! We thought you were gone! Living in your own world playing family man. I thought you were just abandoning us in the stupid jungle playing Tarzan-!”
“I wasn’t!” Leo snaps back, his own voice rising, “I would never! I was there to train to get better for you all! For this team! Calling would have been too risky.”
“Maybe we didn’t need a better leader!” Raph points, “Maybe we needed someone who was actually here. You can’t just drop this on us after being gone for a year and expect us to fall in line with it.”
“No, I don’t! I don’t expect you to do this but I’m asking! I’m sorry for making you all think I was gone. But I would never abandon this family.”
“Look like you got a new one!” Raph snaps, his own anger rising. Some part of him knew this wasn’t about the kids, this was old anger that has festered for too long. Old anger that was even older than a year, “Why did you even come back when you were real quick to replace us!”
“Is that what you think they are?” Leo hisses, “That I think so little for you. Of them?!”
“You’ve only ever thought of yourself. How are we supposed to protect one another when we have kids to worry about? Maybe we were doing just fine before you came back.”
“Like you were doing, going out every night?”
Raph whips his head at Donnie staring him down despite a curled-up Dante on his chest. 
“What?”
“Raph, I respected your privacy for the past few months but really? Might as well get it out in the open while we are having a feeling bash.”
Mikey looks up, “What? What’s going on?”
“You knew?!” Raph hisses. 
“You aren’t exactly subtle, Raph,” Donnie points back.
“Why didn’t you say anything?!”
“I thought you wanted to keep it a secret and if you wanted to talk I would let you make the first move, but no, I didn’t say anything because I thought you needed it. That you needed to let off some steam!”
Leo now looks back and forth, “What is going on?”
“I'm the Nightcrawler.” Raph spits out
Mikey gasps, “What! Dude, you’re the vigilante that’s been going around!”
“Vigilantly work? Alone?!” Leo pushes, “Raph, do you know how dangerous that is?”
“Oh sure, when I do it with Casey it's fine but when I do it alone that’s crossing the line!” Raph points back, “And if you say anything about like getting justice in my own hand’s bullcrap I will make you eat your hypocrisy mister ‘do-gooder.’”
Leo can feel his arms getting heavy holding Ray for so long, “There's an order to these things Raph-”
“I was helping, while you were gone-!”
“Dudes, both of you shut up!” Mikey snaps, putting both his big bros in line, “Raph was going around being batman for a couple months. Was he more violent? Yes. Was that uncalled for? Also yes. Leo was gone in those months too. Should he have called? Yes. Should he have asked for help from his own family? Also very yes! You are both wrong, neither of you have the high ground and if you keep bitching I will nun-chunko you both in the head so hard you will gain brain cells.”
The room fell silent at their youngest outburst. Only Miguel’s giggling was heard. 
“...that's his first giggle,” Leo whispers. 
Mikey immediately brightened, “Aw! Did Uncle Mikey yelling at his stupid, stubborn brothers make you laugh, little Angelo? Yes, it did, yes it did!”
“It’s still too dangerous to keep them,” Raph says his rage left him as soon as it came, “It’s only going to make things harder for us and we aren’t exactly living it up.”
“That didn’t stop Father…” Leo says, looking at their silent dad, “He could have left us too.”
The room was silent. They were all grateful to the dad for raising them, caring for them. When he has just mutated into an intelligent giant rat himself, he didn't have to take on four turtles to feed, bathe, care for, love. But he did.
“Boys, sit down,” Splinter said, looking so older. Leo felt a sense of shame for fighting in front of their father like that but at the same point, he felt that he couldn’t back down. He didn't want to fight his family. Not about the kids. But he didn’t want to force his kids on them. He wanted so many things
Splinter gently took Levio from Mikey’s lap and held the blue child closely. The boy was not used to… such soft texture and just a warm presence. He leaned into the larger creature as gently claws scratched his head. He felt safe. 
“When I first mutated myself, I didn't know what to think. Before, I didn’t think at all, relying on my instincts and nature. When you four were created my first instinct was to copy that of my master, to show care and protection on those weaker than me. And as you grew, so did I. We grew with each other, learning from one another and finding out ourselves together. I, of course, was the one to guide you due to my age, and despite my own shortcoming of how to properly show child-care... I did try the best I could by you.”
“You are an amazing father, sensei!” Mikey says, “We know how much you care about us. And we love you too.”
“Father,” Leo says, “We owe you everything, you took us in and raised us to live a good life.”
Donnie nods, “Considering we were all lost when we were first mutated, we had each other.”
“I think we came out alright all things considering,” Raph says softly. 
Splinter gave a small smile full of warmth and love, “Thank you, my sons. I can't say how I was able to be blessed with four wonderful sons as you all, an old rat like me, but I know that given the choice. You were all worth every moment of my life. One that I am willing to put down for your protection. Not because of my instinct or my nature but because I grew to love you all like my own children.”
The sons fell silent. They never heard of their own father’s doubts. He always seemed to be sure and untouchable, the force in their lives that has all the answers and while as adults they know this to be untrue logically there is still the emotionally childlike wonder that as long as their dad was near everything can be okay. 
“Leonardo,” Splinter says he pets Levio, “When given an impossible choice and facing impossible odds you still found humanity in the most hopeless of places. You strive to do right in the face of wrong and took the harder path when an easier one was there time and time again. The path ahead only gets harder and you will falter but you will not be alone. This family does not give up on one another.”
Leo could cry. But he nodded, “I know sensei. I-I want them. I want to keep them. And if you guys would have them… us. I would like it if we could do this together,” he starts to scramble for words, “I know this wasn’t planned and that we still have the Foot to worry about, and now Bishop but I can’t lose you guys and I know it's selfish to make this choice without you but for the first time I felt like- like I'm doing something right and-”
“Leo,” Raph snaps, quietly but firmly, “Shut the shell up.”
Leo laughs both scared and amusement. 
“I’m still pissed,” Raph says slowly, “At Bishop for taking our DNA and making chimera, at the Foot as large, at you for leaving!” he says quickly and Leo knew that wasn’t going to go away anytime soon, “But not at the kids. On that you're right. They didn’t ask to be given this lot in life. To be a monster in the world of humans…”
“Raph…” Leo swallows, “... I thought you would all be fine. That maybe you would... like a break from me.”
“Woah woah woah,” Mikey pipes up, “Where is that coming from? We can't be a team without you, bro!”
“Donnie seems to be working hard at it.”
Donnie coughs, “Actually… I’ve got a job at IT.”
Leo turns to look at him incredulously.
“And I’ve been playing at party functions?” Mikey adds.
Leo blinks, turning to Raph, “And you?”
Raph shrugs, “Nightcrawler.”
Raph and Leo shared a look. There were still hurt feelings, still bitterness and resentment underneath it all. But there was also an understanding. Understanding that both just wanted to do what was right and while maybe wrong in so many ways, feelings were still hurt, and words were still left unsaid. 
But it’ll take more than to ever break their bond. Something forged in rivalry, respect, and love. Things aren't good now, but maybe they can get better. No, they will get better. Leo stepped closer to Raph and let him see Raymondo. 
Gold eyes met orange as Ray calmed down, being held by his father and as voiced calmed down. 
“This is your Uncle Raph,” Leo whispers to his oldest son, “He’s a bit sensitive but you can trust him. There’s no one better that can protect you.”
“I’m not sensitive,” Raph grumbles with no heat, not expecting Leo to slowly hand over Ray, “Woah, woah, woah, I ain't getting blood on me-”
“Just don't manhandle him, Raph,” Leo says, “Here, put him on your hips like this,” showing Raph the correct way as Ray’s legs wrapped around Raph’s hip immediately. With his guardian near, Ray felt calmer despite not letting go of one hand on his dad, the other went to Raph’s chest. 
“I, uh…” Raph wasn’t sure what to do with the little tyke on his hip. He’s never held a child before, let alone a toddler that looked like him, “Hi?”
Raymondo only blinked the last of the red in his eyes washed away with a pout. He smacked Raph’s chest hard. 
“Jeez,” Raph caught more by surprise than pain, “Kid’s going to have a mean left hook when he grows up.”
Leo sucks in his breath, “So… you’re… you don’t…”
“No Fearless, I’m not going to kick you out of the house like a pregnant teenager,” Raph raises a brow, “Don’t even think I can, considering Dad and Mikey are already scrapbooking-” “That's a good idea!” “- and like I said I’m not mad at the kids. Their dad though… I can be as mad at you all I want.” the words were there but it was more out of habit than malice. Leo found himself welcoming the old banter again. 
“That’s right!” Mickey says as he lifts Miguel in the air, “Though, shouldn’t we all be their Dads since they got all our DNA? Like Leo can be like The Father, capital F, but I think I should be the Cool Dad.”
“What?” Leo turns back, hand still on Ray and Raph, “No, you're the uncles, I’m… I’m their… I’m the Dad.”
“Oh no no no,” Donnie says as he catches himself in the middle of a game, Stops Trying To Poke My Eyes, with Dante, “If we are all in this together now I demand an honorary dad title. I think I want Papa!”
“And  Raph can be Pops!” Mikey supplies, “I think it fits him perfectly.”
“Pops...” Raph rolls the titles off his tongue as if testing it out. 
“Not you too, Raph,” Leo says firmly as he starts to lose control of the situation, “I appreciate the help, I’m going to need it, but I’m the Dad. I got a 6-month head start on you all.”
Mikey gaps, “That’s why you didn’t call us! You want to give yourself the head start on dadship!”
Leo blushes a deeper green and Raph actually laughs, “Wait, seriously! Didn’t think you had it in you, Leo!”
“That’s not-! I didn’t-!” Leo stumbles, “That was not the intention.”
Splinter holds his third grandchild closer, “You are going to be very well-loved my grandchild,” he smiles, “Huh, never thought I could finally say that.”
---
Ring~ ring~ ring~ ring~
“Come on, pick up already. ”
Click
“Raph?” Casey answered, “Where were you, man? I thought you would have seen you last night?”
“Shouldn't you not be out?” Raph immediately quips back, “Thought April was trying to reign you in?”
“Uh… working on that,” Casey mutters, “Like just going out for a stroll never kill anyone.”
“Because you stroll, right? Got plans to frolic later?”
“Oh shut up, you green creep!” Casey laughs, “Anyways what's up with the call? Doesn't sound like danger if you have time to talk? Miss me?”
“Haha,” Raph shuffles, the sound of Mikey’s panic yell gave off in the background followed by more  ‘ew ew ew ew’s and Leo’s resurgence that saliva isn't that gross, “Heh, funny no. Um, Leo is back.”
“...what?”
“Yeah.”
“After April just got back from Brazil?”
“Yup.”
“And after she didn’t find him.”
“Uh-huh.”
“So what you are saying is… my fiance is going to kill your brother.”
“Probably,” Raph replies calmly, “So you finally asked?”
“Shit-!” Casey fumbles on the other side, “Um, no not yet, still trying to find the right moment. But, um, getting there, just, um, yeah, waiting for the... perfect time.”
“Pussy.”
“I will knock your ass out,” Casey sighs, “Stop dodging the issue. What the hell took him? April was about to start a manhunt when the locals told her that their jungle guardian went missing months ago. Did he get lost in airport luggage or something?”
“Traveled by foot and car,” Raph says, “Listen a lot has happened in the past... 3 hours. Mikey and Donnie are taking off of work for… family issues. And I’m about to do something that Leo should have done 6 months ago and just tell you over the phone what the shell is going on.”
“Oh, damn it's serious, okay,” he hears Casey sit down, “Want me to wake April, it’s only 6 so she should be getting up soon,”
“No, you can tell her, I don't want to be part of the crossfire.”
“Harsh.”
“I know, anyway Leo found a secret base in Brazil that had four clones of us and he adopted them. Travel by foot and now we have four sons, all baby ages, and yeah, you and April should come by sometime tonight to come see them.”
“... … … …”
“Are you still there?”
“Hold on, I think I’m having a seizure or we have a really bad connection but did you say… babies? Like children babies?”
“No the term to catcall a woman and loved ones, yes, I mean children what else could I mean?”
“... I just… I mean… damn. Clones? And kids? And Leo adopted them?”
“Glad we covered that your hearing process is still working, numbnuts. Would you like to repeat anything else I just said?”
“That’s a lot, Raph!” Casey shouts, there was muttering in the background, “Oh, shit, sorry babe, go back to sleep. Dude, you can’t expect me not to freak out a little.”
Raph was starting to see why Leo didn’t call. Still pissed though, “Well, have the rest of the day to freak out and just… just come see them I guess. It's a family thing now and they need to be familiar with you.”
“... you are taking this very well.”
“I’m the most adaptable ninja turtle on this planet,” Raph sighs, “No, at first I was… pissed.”
“Pissed?” Casey sounds doubtful.
“Okay maybe more than pissed but… It's not the kids' fault, Casey. Leo on the other hand! Definitely pissed for no heads up! Swear that guys think he can just do anything on his own...” Raph snaps, “But… you just got to see them…”
“Awwwwww!” Casey's voice grew, “I knew you were a softy! Behind that hard shell is a squishy turtle with a squishy heart!” More noise in the background, “Oh! Sorry, April! It’s Raph… oh, uh funny thing.
“And you’re a numbskull with a squishy head,” Raph quips back, “Anyways, have fun telling April this, bye.”
“Wait-! Don’t you-!” Raph hung up the landline quickly as walked away going back to the kitchen. 
He stopped at the doorway. Mikey was wearing heavy rubber gloves holding a blue worm close to Dante’s mouth with one hand as the other kept trying to block Miguel’s attempt to snag it with his overly large tongue. 
Donnie seems to have an easier time, taking a nap with Raymondo sitting on his chest like a weighted blanket. Donnie was wearing thick mittens and a scarf to properly hold him and they had a second cover to separate any loose spikes that might poke him in his sleep. Raph doubts even being poked would wake him, knowing Don the guy could sleep through a train station when he knew he was in a safe place to deep sleep. 
Leo seems busy with his own version, cutting thin slices of ham and putting them in front of the 1-year old, “No, no,” Leo chided slightly as Levio tried to swallow the stirp whole, “Teeth, Vio, teeth,” Leo showed his own, “You need to chew your food. I know instinct is telling you to swallow whole but you need to chew.”
Vio opened his mouth again but this time small but razor-sharp teeth emerged from his gums, a slight stream of blood running down his chin. 
Leo smiled like a proud father at the sight, “Good, Vio!” and gave Vio the ham strip as the child slowly chewed his food, “Teeth, right, making it so much easier to go down. No more sore throat.”
Raph couldn’t help but find the whole situation hilarious. He didn’t know what to expect when Leo finally got home if he ever did. Maybe a fight, a dramatic screaming match on top of a roof with a dramatic reveal of pent-up emotions and old grudges they never properly got hashed out coming to bite them in the ass. But definitely not a group family therapy session while juggling four new family members now under his protection. 
No, he didn't know what to expect. 
But he damn well knows that as long as they are together, things are going to be okay. 
---
“LEO HAS WHAT!”
“April, babe, sweetie, uh, love of my life? Don’t you got like a super important client to meet up with today? Or something?”
“Fuck that guy!” April shouts as he gets her clothes in order, “Casey, we have four new nephews and you want to talk about clients?! Grab a coffee and get your jacket. We are going right now! I’m calling Irma to let her know that a family emergency is happening and cancel all my appointments.”
“Uh, you sure?”
“They guy can wait another day, Case, this cannot!”
----
The guy waited thousands of years, he could wait another day… or not.
34 notes · View notes
rizahawkais · 3 years
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Hi Nia! You're gifs are so pretty! Is it possible for you to show how you get your WandaVision gifs too look so clear and hd? And how do you do your colorings too? (specifically the wanda maximoff in episode 3 gifset ITS GORGEOUS) I'm new to giffing and all the tutorials are kind of old. It's okay if you don't want to though! I understand it may be time consuming.
omg no! never feel intimidated to ask!! i don’t mind at all!
so, i’m going to show you how i made and coloured this gif
Tumblr media
mostly bc it’s the only gif in that set w text and i’m going to share my text settings too!
tutorial is below :)
WHAT KIND OF VIDEOS ARE BEST?
.mkv files (the bigger the better BUT i usually think anything above 5 gb is excessive and unnecessary for an episode of television BUT for a movie worth it) itunes downloads (logolesspro on twitter, hd-source on tumblr, live-action-raws on tumblr have some DEPENDING on what you’re looking for) (also, there’s a chance that if you search "show/movie hd download tumblr” you’ll find a tumblr with its itunes download available)
THAT IS IT NO OTHER TYPE OF FILES MAKE YOUR GIFS LOOK GOOD
- my suggestion is always if its new (like just came out the past month) t*rrent it! it’ll be downloaded quickly and .mkv files look the best! BUT if not check the sources above see who has the BIGGEST file if they even have what you’re looking for and then if not then you look to t*rrenting!!
here are the wandavision files i use so you can see!!
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SCREENCAPPING
-if you have windows use potplayer! i have a mac so i can’t show you how to use it and it’s not available for me :( HOWEVER back when i had a windows potplayer was the best method in screencapping!!
-I HAVE A MAC! so i use mpv!! (go to mpv.io and follow the directions) BUT DON’T DOWNLOAD THE LATEST ONE (it has a bug that skips frames) try each before the latest one bc from what i heard different ones work differently for everyone!! and i don’t know which one i use (yikes!) THERE ISN’T THAT MANY I PROMISE AND IT’S WORTH IT BC MPV IS THE BEST (i used to use adapter but they didn’t take impressive screencaps in my opinion and it was evident in my gifs you can see it too! )
create a folder for your screencaps! and make sure to rmb the directory order! now we want to create a text file on our built in textedit app on mac! type up all this down below (i like jpg but you can replace jpg w png if you want) AND SAVE THE FILE AS mpv.conf THIS IS IMPORTANT SO DON’T FORGET IT! save it somewhere you’ll find easily and NEVER delete it until you don’t use mpv anymore
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just in case you don’t know what to insert after, go to your screencaps folder
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now you want to open mpv and go to the corner towards mpv -> preferences and they’ll tell you that there is no .conf file SO GO LOOK FOR THE TEXT FILE WE JUST MADE AND DRAG IT TO THE FOLDER THEY OPENED FOR US AFTER SAYING THERE IS NO .CONF FILE
(i learned all this from @kylos tutorial!! so if any of what i just said about setting up mpv makes NO SENSE to you check out their tutorial at kylos(.)tumblr(.)com/post/178497909311)
now we can screencap!
so let’s find the scene we want RIGHT BEFORE and MAKE SURE SUBTITLES ARE OFF
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i pause and then press (option/alt + s) and then SCREENCAPS ARE BEING TAKEN!! and to end the screencaps being taken you once again press (option/alt + s)!!
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now we want to delete the excess frames! and put it all into one folder!! DO NOT DELETE FRAMES IN THE MIDDLE OF WHAT YOU WANT TO GIF!! WHEN YOU SKIP FRAMES IT WILL BE NOTICEABLE!!
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MAKING THE GIF
this method isn’t used that much BUT I LOVE IT so this is how i put my frames in! first i check to see the size of my frames: 1920 x 1080
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so i create a NEW file on photoshop with those dimensions w these settings
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now i set my tool on photoshop to path selection tool bc if you have it set on smth like move tool or crop tool at the end you might end up moving or cropping frames you don’t want to!
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ok so now we select ALL our frames and drag it on top of our new file on photoshop and the MOMENT we see our first frame in photoshop JUST KEEP CLICKING ENTER until all the frames are loaded!!
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you can do file -> scripts -> load files into stack but it is WAYYY slower in my opinion!
now i crop out the excess BUT i don’t resize the gif yet! the dimensions wandavision is filmed in is 4:3 so i go to crop and set the settings to this:
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MAKE SURE IT’S ON RATIO SO WE’RE PRESERVING THE ORIGINAL SIZE JUST CUTTING OFF THE BLACK EDGES!! We are going from 1920 x 1080 to 1440 x 1080 this is the dimensions after i cropped
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WE ARE KEEPING THE QUALITY BY NOT CHANGING THE DIMENSIONS OF ANYTHING INSIDE !!
now we want to go to actions and create an action!! open up actions w one of these two depending on what your dash looks like!!
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so we create an action with this button on the bottom of actions and we’re gonna title it making a gif and hit record!!
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NOW LET’S GOOOOO!!
1. make sure you have timeline on your dash!
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2. create frame animation (if you see create video timeline just click the arrow next to the button to see your other option which is frame animation!!)
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3. now let’s meet our best friend!! the little bar in the top right corner that has all the commands for making our gifs and MAKE FRAMES FROM LAYERS
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4. WE HAVE TO SHARPEN OUR GIFS NOW BUT TO DO THAT WE NEED TO CONVERT TO A SMART OBJECT SO NOW WE ARE GOING TO CONVERT TO VIDEO TIMELINE there are two ways: the button in the bottom left corner or the button in the top right corner w all the other commands!
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5. select -> all layers DON’T MANUALLY SELECT THEM ALL BC THE ACTION WILL ONLY SELECT THAT SAME NUMBER OF FRAMES SO IF THERE ARE MORE FRAMES YOU WON’T GET THEM IN THE SMART OBJECT!!
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6. filter -> convert for smart filters
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7. NOW WE SHARPEN!! (filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen) i sharpen twice!! first, make sure we are on legacy w more accurate and remove gaussian blue! the first sharpening will be 500% with 0.4 px radius. NOW SHARPEN AGAIN (filter -> sharpen -> smart sharpen) also w legacy, more accurate and remove gaussian blur BUT this time 10% with a 10.0 px radius!
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8. it’s hd now!! so let’s flatten frames into clips!! go to the top right magic button again!! and you should see a pop up saying layers are being made
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9. now we convert back to frame animation w either the bottom left button or our magic top right command center!
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10. make frames from layers
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11. select all frames w our magic command button
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12. set the animation delay to 0.05 THAT IS THE BEST ONE ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS only use 0.06 when the character is moving really fast in the video itself and it makes the gif itself look awkward BUT NEVER GO ABOVE 0.06 it’ll look slow and laggy and we don’t want that and don’t go below 0.05 bc then it’ll be tooo fast and we don’t want that either!
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13. now delete the very first frame on the timeline bc it is an oversharpened duplicate of the second frame! end the recording w this button!
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this is what your action should look like expanded! if you made mistakes on the way and it shows up you can just click the specific step and press the trash can on the action tab to delete in from the order!!
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NOW AFTER LOADING YOUR FRAMES AND CROPPING THE EDGES OF YOUR FRAMES IF YOU NEED TO JUST PLAY THE ACTION AND THEN YOUR GIF WILL BE MADE FOR YOU!!!!
now i delete some unnecessary frames in the beginning and end and this is what my gif looks like (the size was 46 mb and the limit is 10 mb so the dimensions of the gif are 540 x 405 to get it to 5 mb BUT I HAVEN’T CROPPED IT YET SO THIS IS ME CROPPING JUST TO SHOW YOU WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE)
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CROPPING THE GIF
in my opinion if you want your gif to look hd you shouldn’t crop before you sharpen!! i believe that if you crop before you sharpen you don’t allow photoshop to sharpen all the pixels whereas if you crop beforehand there is less to work with!!
dimensions is all up to you!! just make sure to go by tumblr rules!! 540 is the max width and if you want to make two gifs per row then my suggested width is 268 and for three gifs per row my suggested is 177 px! Just have the right width and the length can be whatever you want!!
now i’m going to crop my gif to 540 by 590!!
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NOW THIS IS WHAT MY GIF LOOKS LIKE!
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COLOURING BASICS
let me show you the best adjustment tools in my opinion and a brief explanation for what they do!!
brightness/contrast: pretty simple increase/decrease the brightness/contrast BUT one of my techniques for when i first start colouring a gif is i select all my frames and do nothing to the settings of the adjustment but i set the layer to screen LIKE THIS
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curves: ik others use curves to change brightness/contrast w the squiggly thing BUT i like it to set a white point and black point, this is also a technique i use when i first start colouring a gif when screen doesn’t look good for me SO you use white point to select a pixel on the gif to set as the lightest color on the gif (setting the white point) and you use black point to select a pixel on the gif to set as the darkest colour on the gif (setting the black point) usually the white point makes it TOO bright and that’s why we use the black point to counter it and same goes for when i use screen with brightness/contrast, it gets too bright so i use black point to counter it below is the button for white point and the button for black point, respectively they are shaped as color picker tools
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vibrance: generally, i never use this except for color p*rn sets but they work really well in making colors seem more strong
hue/saturation: like vibrance, i never use this except for color p*rn sets but this adjustment is to help change the colors or hue of a color for example: turn blue into purple or turn a blue into a little lighter shade of blue
color balance: I ALWAYS USE THIS!! except for in black and white gifs BUT THIS IS MY GO TO AND IF I DON’T USE IT MY GIFS ARE JUST BLAND i feel like color balance is what essentially balances the colors on your gif and adds dimension to it, it makes your gif go from looking way too yellow to a more golden neutral look and it is an essential adjustment in my opinion
channel mixer: i rarely use channel mixer BUT it is so so useful when you are working w a dark scene just play w the settings and all of a sudden all the blue in a dark scene will be a little more yellow and red and your scene will kind of just look brighter and more visible
selective color: THIS IS ALSO AN ESSENTIAL this helps SPECIFIC colors pop you’re working on a scene where there is too much red on someones face you use this tool to remove the magentaness from the yellow section OR when you feel someones face is TOO yellow and needs more blush you add more magenta in the yellow section of selective color
gradiant map: gradiant map is perfect when you’re lazy if you feel like your gif looks more neutral and you want some red in it but you don’t want to mess with any other adjustments just set a red to black gradiant on soft overlay with a very low opacity and BOOM slightly red but not too much red added!
NOW TO COLOR THE GIF!
today i have decided to start with a brightness layer set on screen
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and this is what we got!
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now that’s a little to bright and washed out in my opinion SOOOO to counteract it, i’m going to use my black point tool in curves and i’m going to select this point on the gif (it’s better to choose smth in the background and not smth that’s paid attention to such as monica’s hair or either of their eyelashes)
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now my gif looks like this! the base color is complete!
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now i think i need to balance all this yellow and red! SOOOO WE GONNA USE COLOR BALANCE!!
i think the best way to use color balance is to keep swinging the balancer until you see what you like and then keep going midtones i think i want more red and i don’t want a cyan midtone and then for shadows i think i want more cyan to counter the redness of the gif but highlights i don’t touch that much NOW HERE ARE MY SETTINGS SO YOU CAN SEE
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and this is what my gif looks like
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now you can stop here if you want but in my opinion i think the gif looks a lil too dead still SO IMMA USE SELECTIVE COLOR
i think there needs to be a lot lot more RED so i amp up the yellow magenta and black in the red! but i also think the yellows need to be LESS RED so i remove magenta from the yellow! and bc there’s some cyan and blue bc of monica and the flowers in the background im going to make the cyans more cyan and the blues a lil more black! i’m going to remove some yellows from the magenta!! and i add more black to the neutrals and black!! i think it’s always important to add more black to neutral and black bc it adds more depth to the gif by not just making it a bunch of bright colors and having dark colors to contrast to!! my settings are below!
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and the result!
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now let’s see everything together!
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and the before and after!
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I HOPE MY COLOURING EXPLANATION MADE SENSE!! if not you can always ask me more questions i don’t mind!!
ADDING SUBTITLES
we want to grab the text tool!
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make a text box from anywhere in the middle from the left to right edge. this is so we can make sure our text is centered and will be in the same place for when we have sets w more than one gif w text!
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type your text out and make sure you highlight the whole text so that all the settings apply to EACH character! you can find the alignments (for center) in the paragraph tab!
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now lets right click on the text layer and go to blending options! add stroke and drop shadow!
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now drag it to the desired height you would like and make sure to keep it in mind for when you have more than one subtitled gif in a set!
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NOW TO MAKE SURE THE TEXT STAYS IN PLACE AND THE BLENDING STAYS YOU HAVE TO CONVERT TO SMART OBJECT!!
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if you want to only have the text applied to certain frames instead of all frames, select the frames you don’t want by clicking the first frame in ur don’t want section ON THE TIMELINE and WHILST HOLDING SHIFT click the last frame of ur don’t want section and then toggle the eye switch next to the text layer
now you see the text
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now you don’t
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tip: use opacity to fade the text in and out!
the text is going to be on all my frames so i don’t need to toggle the eye but i just wanted to show you just in case!!
now here’s my FINAL RESULT
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save for web (file -> export -> save for web) 
your gifs have to always be under 10 mb! so, if your WAYYY overboard YOU HAVE TO DELETE FRAMES! or you can divide the gif in two and have two gifs instead of one! however, if you plan on going the deleting frames route MAKE SURE YOU DELETE FROM THE BEGINNING OR END OF YOUR SELECTION i promise you that most of us won’t notice that your characters dialogue is being cut off BUT WE WILL NOTICE IF FRAMES ARE BEING SKIPPED so, don’t delete frames in the middle of ur gif!! idc how little you do it IT WILL RUIN YOUR GIF AND I SAY THIS FROM EXPERIENCE i would delete every fifth frame to cut down my gifs and that may seem like not that big of a deal BUT IT IS my gif looked choppy and poor so it is way better to cut from the end/beginning of the gif
ANOTHER LAST PIECE OF ADVICE in the bottom left of when the save for web menu shows up THERE’S A PREVIEW BUTTON click on it! it’ll show you your gif on your default browser and show you what it’ll look like once uploaded! this is perfect to check the speed of ur gif and the colouring and to notice if there’s a problem with your subtitles or maybe there’s an obvious jump in frames you never noticed before!! i always use preview bc the built-in photoshop viewer of ur gif shows the colors differently and the speed is NEVER ACURRATE!
I USED THESE SAVE SETTINGS!! many say to use selective pattern but i DISAGREE and i think these save settings are the ✨ best ✨
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OK NOW THAT IS THE END OF THIS VERY LONG GIF TUTORIAL!! I HOPE THIS IS WHAT YOU WANTED!! IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS DON’T BE AFRAID TO ASK I SINCERELY DON’T MIND!! JUST DON’T BE RUDE OR ANYTHING BC PPL HAVE BEEN RECENTLY :(
I WISH YOU ALL THE LUCK AND FUN IN YOUR GIFFING ADVENTURES !!
394 notes · View notes
my-emotional-self · 3 years
Text
Toxic Love Chapter 12
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Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader, Bucky Barnes x Reader, Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes
Summary: Finding out your soulmates were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes was one thing.  But when someone from your past comes back to haunt you, you have to figure out if a relationship with two super soldiers is something you really want to pursue or if you’d rather go back to your comfortable single life.
Series Warnings:  18+, Swearing, Angst, Fluff, past mentions of rape, self-harm, attempted rape, domestic violence, stalking, death threats, possible Dark!Steve?, Steve will be an asshole a LOT in this series but I don’t know how dark it will get, explicit sexual content, mental health issues, kind of A/B/O dynamics but not really (no they are not actual wolves, more like the hierarchy), mentions of suicide, flashbacks of suicide, nightmares
A/N: There will be no taglist for this story!  I apologize in advance!
Bright.  It was much too bright in your room.  Opening one eye, you saw that your curtains were left open. ‘Steve’ you thought to yourself as your body began to stretch.  You were sore, all over your body and it brought a smile to your face as you remembered the previous night.  Or, more like early morning.  
Looking around your room you saw that Steve was nowhere to be seen.  He must have snuck out at some point after you passed out.  Throwing the covers off, you saw that you were still in the same shirt as yesterday but now you had on a pair of shorts.  Steve must have dressed you too.
Getting to your feet, you padded over to the bathroom and started the shower.  As you began to undress yourself, you glanced in the mirror. Steve really did a number on you. Fingertip bruises were scattered all over your hips; there were so many you couldn’t even count them all.  
Throwing your hair up in a messy bun, you jumped in the shower and washed your body.  Memories of last flooded your mind.  The way Steve man handled you.  His rough touch on your skin.  His hand on your throat.  And the sex. Fuck, the sex was amazing.  You had only been with John, and none of your sexual encounters with him were good.  No, not with what he did to you.  It was horrible.  You didn’t know sex could feel that good like it did with Steve.  
Drying off, you realized you should probably still wear something long sleeved because of the cuts on your wrist.  So you put on a pair of underwear and then a long sleeved night shirt that went down to your knees.  You wanted to be comfortable today.  
Looking at the clock it was a little after two in the afternoon so you decided to go meet your fate in the living room.  You could only hope that Steve was in a better mood after last night and maybe the three of you could finally just have a talk.  Maybe it was time to come clean about your mental health issues once and for all.  
Making your way out of your room, you saw both Steve’s door to his room was non-existent.  “Hmm.  I wonder what happened there,” you spoke to nobody but yourself as you continued down the hallway.
Bucky was sitting on the couch in nothing but a pair of loose shorts, texting on his phone.  You cleared your throat to let him know you were there.
He smiled at you and set his phone down on the table in front of him.  “Hi doll,” he said, no hint of anger in his face or voice.  Ok, so maybe Steve didn’t fill him in on you leaving the tower on your own at night.
“What time did you get back?” you asked as you grabbed a bottle of water out of the refrigerator.
“A few hours ago actually. I just showered and figured I’d relax the rest of the day,” he replied, his eyes watching you.
You nodded, taking a sip of your water.  “Umm, where’s Steve?”
“Actually, I don’t really know,” he said with a chuckle.  “I got a text from him around five in the morning that said he would be gone for the rest of the day.  Punk didn’t tell me anything else.”
“Oh.”  Ok, so now what did you do?  Do you come clean to Bucky about last night?  Taking another sip, you couldn’t help but admire his physique. His body was utterly perfect. Just like Steve’s.  And they were both yours.  How did you get so lucky?
“Is everything alright doll?” Bucky asked, sitting up straighter on the couch.  
Giving him a shy smile, you set your water down on the counter and sauntered over to him.  Your eyes taking in every bit of naked flesh that he showed.  You wanted him.  You wanted him now.  
Gradually you placed your hands on his shoulders and straddled his waist.  
“What are you doing doll?” Bucky’s voice was hungry as you got situated on his lap.  His fingers rested on your exposed thigh and you hummed at how good it felt.  
Moving forward, you nipped at his pulse point before soothing it with your tongue.  Bucky’s fingers dug into your flesh.  You loved the stark contrast between his flesh hand and his metal hand.  One warm and one cold.  
“I want you Bucky,” you purred in his ear, giving his lobe a quick nibble causing him to jolt.  Bucky began to stiffen.  Not just his posture, but h is cock as well.  Teasing him, you began to rub yourself up and down his stiffening length.  
“Wait doll.  Stop,” he breathed out.  Pulling away, you frowned at him.  “No.  It’s not that I don’t want to.  Fuck doll I want you so bad.  It’s just that.  Well, Steve’s in charge so he should be with you first.  He’d honestly probably be pretty upset if he didn’t get to you first.”
You slowly smiled at him, biting your lower lip.  Pulling up the bottom of your night shirt, you showed off what Steve had done to you the night before.  Bucky’s eyes went wide as his fingers caressed softly over the marks.  “Steve already had me last night.  Now it’s your turn.”
Bucky’s head snapped up. His eyes locking onto yours. There was no denying the lust behind those blue eyes of him.  
In one swift movement, his metal hand gripped the small amount of clothing covering your core and ripped it from your body.  You gasped in surprise and it only made you more aroused.  
Your lips connected with his in a fierce kiss.  One that made your toes curl.  His flesh hand snaked into your hair, holding you close as your wet core ground down on his length.  Bucky sucked on your bottom lip before letting go with a pop.  Just like Steve’s the night before, Bucky’s eyes were dark. His pupils blown wide to the point you couldn’t even see his blue orbs anymore.  
“I want you Bucky. Please. I need you in me,” you begged, wanting to feel that fullness of his cock inside of you.  
His flesh fingers teased your wet folds before circling your clit.  “Oh baby girl,” he mewled.  “You are so ready for me.”
You whimpered at his words, nodding your head because yes.   You were in fact so ready for him.  
“Lift up doll,” he urged and you lifted onto your knees giving Bucky just enough room to pull his shorts down to his knees.  
He held his stiff cock in his hand and helped guide your hips until you sunk down on him.  Both of you rolled your heads back in pleasure. He was just as big as Steve and he filled you up so full.  You never knew it could feel this good.  
Your forehead met his, giving yourself a minute to adjust to him.  All you wanted was to stay like this forever.  But you wanted more.  Craved it. Desired it.  
Rising up on your knees, you slowly sunk back down onto his length.  You did this over and over again.  Teasing Bucky.  Torturing both him and yourself.  It was fun being in control of your movements.  But it didn’t seem like Bucky was too patient.  
A low grumble came from Bucky’s chest and before you knew it, his hands were gripping your hips and guiding you up and down.  His grip wasn’t as tight as Steve’s and you were wondering if he was being gentle since you already had bruising there.  
“You feel so good doll,” Bucky rasped as his eyes watched himself where he was connected with you. It was the sexiest thing you had ever seen.  
“Bucky.  Faster,” you pleaded.  
Bucky, always the pleaser, didn’t want to disappoint his girl.  He picked you up off of him as he got off the couch.  He guided you back onto the couch on your knees.  Your legs dangled off the couch as your hands were placed on the back.  In one swift motion, Bucky sunk into you from behind.  A soft cry came from your lips at the new angle.  
“You are perfect doll,” Bucky grunted as his metal hand palmed your ass.  “So fucking perfect.”
His movements were slow at first.  Teasing you. But then he began moving faster; snapping his hips into you with such force you saw stars.  Your knees were starting to hurt but you didn’t give a damn. The pleasure Bucky was giving you was more than enough to make up for it.  
Your orgasm was fast approaching and Bucky reached his hand around the front to help you out.  His rough fingers came in contact with your swollen clit.  
“Are you going to cum for me baby girl?  Hmmm? I want to feel that beautiful pussy of yours clench around me,” he growled, his hips and fingers working furiously.  
The sound of his voice and those words were all it took to set you off.  You screamed his name as an earth shattering orgasm rippled through your body; your eyes shut so tight all you saw was blackness with white dots.  
Bucky’s fingers worked you through your orgasm and before you were even finished, Bucky was right behind you.  His grunts and moans filled the living room as his hips stilled and you could feel his warm seed filling you up.  
You winced as Bucky pulled out of you and you both collapsed into a heap on the couch.  
~~~
Later that evening you were curled up with Bucky on the touch watching a movie.  
“What is that thing?” Bucky asked and you couldn’t help but burst out laughing.  
“It’s Falkor!  He’s a Luck Dragon!  Isn’t he cute??”
Bucky looked down at you where you were nestled into his side.  “Cute?  That thing is creepy looking.”
You gasped in shock. “Bucky Barnes!  How dare you say about Falkor!  Take that back!”
“Never,” Bucky growled as his fingers attacked your sides, tickling you relentlessly.  Your laughter was contagious, making Bucky laugh.  
The elevator dinged and Bucky ceased his tickling torture.  Steve stepped off the elevator.  He looked sad and disappointed.  
Fear encroached you. That nagging feeling in the back of your mind coming full force.  Fear of rejection.  Fear of abandonment.  Was he so disappointed in you and your acting out that he wanted to end things?  
Steve dropped his head to the ground and turned to talk away towards his room.  
You scrambled off the couch. No.  You wouldn’t let this happen.  
Jogging to his room, you could hear Bucky following you closely.  
Since there was no door to Steve’s room, you walked right in and saw him standing near the window, looking out into the orange and pink dusk sky; his hands in his pockets.  
“Steve?” you asked softly as you padded your bare feet over to him.  “Is, is everything ok?”
He didn’t turn around to look at you.   “No Y/N, everything is not alright.”  Your heart sunk to the pit of your stomach.  “We need to talk.”
100 notes · View notes
inquiringquilter · 10 months
Text
Patriot Quilt Along - Flying Geese
Thanks for joining my Patriot Quilt Along! I’m so glad we’re sewing up so many charity quilts for Quilts of Valor and similar charities. Today, we’re making flying geese.
This Week’s Video
For you visual learners, I’ve summarized today’s post in a video. Go check it out!
Need to still grab your Patriot pattern?
Sign up for my special newsletter and get 30% off the PDF version of Patriot. Patriot finishes at 53” x 69” which is fine for a QOV but I want my outer border to be bigger so I’ve purchased 1/4 yard more.
Making Flying Geese
The pattern uses the No Waste (Four at a Time) method although you can choose another method if you want. Just make sure you download my Flying Geese cutting guide so you can make yardage adjustments.
With the No Waste method, you start with a large square of the Goose fabric and four smaller squares of the Sky fabric. Here’s a quick summary of the steps—for a step by step photo tutorial of this method, click here.
To make flying geese using the No Waste method, you start by marking a diagonal from corner to corner on the back of the smaller squares, place two of them RST on the large square and sew 1/4” away from the marked line.
You cut that unit apart, creating two heart-shaped units. Add one of the remaining smaller squares on each of the two heart units and again sew 1/4” away. Cut these units apart and you end up with four flying geese. Be sure to trim them to size as directed in the pattern!
My Patriot video for this week shows you how to make flying geese this way. The video also includes instructions for you AccuQuilt users as well.
If you need more help, I have a longer video on this same method that includes how to make the flying geese without marking your squares. Talk about super fast!
You need to make 36 flying geese using the Blue 2 and White fabrics.
Sponsors and Prizes
Several sponsors were added since the start of the quilt along, so I wanted to list them all again so you’ll know what you might win if you finish a top or a quilt. Remember, you’ll get one chance to win if you finish a top and two if finish a quilt.
First Prize
A fat quarter pack from the Red, White, and Blooms Island Batik collection
A Queen-sized Heirloom 80/20 batting from Hobbs Batting
Necessities thread pack featuring four 50 wt. spools of Aurifil threads, perfect for piecing!
Piecing & Quilting Bundle from Schmetz
$100 in AQ Reward points to purchase anything you like from AccuQuilt
Coupon for $50 off your order from Hancock’s of Paducah
50% Discount for longarming services for one quilt from Amy Larkin of Uncommon Bobbin (you will be charged only for the quilting and batting—there are no additional charges and shipping back to you is free!)
Second Prize
A fat quarter pack from the Red, White, and Blooms Island Batik collection
One spool each of Red, White, and Blue thread from Aurifil perfect for piecing or quilting a quilt!
A pattern pack of my most popular patterns—Hole in the Wall, Mariner, and Picnic Under the Stars
Quilting Discount!
To encourage everyone to finish their quilts, Amy Larkin of Uncommon Bobbin is generously offering everyone in the quilt along a15% Discount for longarming services for one quilt (you will be charged only for the quilting and batting—there are no additional charges and shipping back to you is free!)
You can use this discount on your Patriot quilt or on any quilt you desire. Go check out Amy’s work on her website. So many choices for your quilting design!
Special Thanks!
I want to take a moment and thank Deb @ The Blueberry Owl. Deb has generously volunteered to quilt my new Patriot quilt so I can donate a finished quilt to Quilts of Valor. Thank you, thank you Deb!
See You Next Time!
Don’t forget to share your fabric selections on Instagram or Facebook (add the text #patriotqal and @inquiringquilter so I’ll know.)
Make your 36 flying geese and I’ll see you here on July 27th for the next step, making HSTs.
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jamespotterthefirst · 3 years
Text
As Long as You Love Me So
aka the fake Christmas date (Ethan x f!MC)
Pairing: Dr. Ethan Ramsey x F!MC (Dr. Lilac Allende) Word count: 2.9K Warning: some language 
Premise: She is in desperate need of a date for her cousin’s pretentious dinner.
Author’s Note: Back at it again at Krispy Kreme with the fake dating trope. This takes place during the holidays in book 1. Thank you to @aestheticartsx​ for pre-reading this 💖
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Can you pretend to be my date tonight? 
The biting Boston breeze cut into her exposed skin with an unforgiving bite, leaving her fingers numb as she sent the text. All around her, chatting and laughing couples milled about, basking in the golden lights of the city's Christmastime decorations. Those who weren't affectionately enraptured in each other or studiously deciding which of the many restaurants to pick from threw curious glances her way. 
Please? It's a long story but I can tell you when you get here. I'll pay you. 
Vaguely, she regretted the pale pink cocktail dress that left her shoulders, legs, and much of her chest exposed. An hour ago, it had seemed like the perfect dress to force her pretentious cousin, Griselda, into quiet envy. And while her plan had been successful for the better part of five minutes, Lilac's arrival at the restaurant without a date had been enough for her cousin to revert back to her sneering, condescending, look-at-my-successful-broker-boyfriend ways. 
 I'm offended, Lil. I'd do that shit for free. 
Bryce's text brought Lilac back to her current desperate situation. With unfeeling, shivering fingers she texted back. 
You don't need to know why? You'll do it? 
Bryce's reply came in instantly which Lilac was grateful for. The sudden breeze that rustled through her hair and bare skin made her shiver uncontrollably. 
No need to know why. I'd do anything for you. 
Her triumphant smile lasted only second as her phone announced a second text from Bryce. 
But I can't tonight. I'm assisting Dr. Tanaka and he'll murder me if I back out now. I'm so sorry, Lil. 
Lilac exhaled sharply, her breath swirling into the night like fog. This was what she got for letting her anger get the best of her. Wincing, she recalled the lie that had hurled from her lips with vehement, unstoppable force. 
“Not that it's any of your business but I'm dating a successful doctor from work.”
Griselda's brief shock had been vindication enough but when it slowly ebbed into a wicked, challenging sneer, Lilac felt utterly pathetic.
“Fuck her,” Lilac muttered with a sudden rush of righteous anger.  
So help her God, she was going to march back into the restaurant and promptly inform her stupid cousin that her dating life was none of her business. So what if Lilac couldn't make a relationship last longer than a few months or if she dated around too much? She would be damned if she allowed her pompous, gold digging cousin to slut shame her. 
“Please tell me you're not a smoker, Rookie.”
The familiar baritone sent a white hot thrill through her body before her brain registered who it belonged to. 
Handsome as ever, Doctor Ethan Ramsey stood before her, eyeing her quizzically. He looked magnificently elegant in a dark suit, topped with a dark blue coat and scarf. The twinkling Christmas lights of the street sent his striking features into sharp relief, making him appear even more attractive than should be allowed. 
He waited for her reply and Lilac jolted with a start. Nearby, a small group smoked as they talked and laughed. 
“No smoking for me.” She grimaced and added as an afterthought, “Though if I were a smoker, I'd need a full pack right about now.”
“Rough night?” 
“You've no idea.”
“Is that why you're standing out here in the freezing cold with no coat wearing…” 
He trailed off, piercing blue eyes sweeping over her attire. Lilac held her breath, the heat of his gaze feeling like a gentle caress of his fingers on her skin. 
“...That?” 
His gaze reunited with hers and they looked at one another in the noisy street, a charged silence stretching between them. 
Then, too suddenly, Ethan looked away, busying himself with removing his coat and draping it over Lilac's shoulders without much ceremony. The pleasant waft of his cologne comforted her almost as much as the welcomed warmth of his coat. 
“I never took you for the type to like any of these trendy restaurants,” she commented when there was nothing else to say. “Especially during the holidays, with so many people everywhere.”
Ethan grimaced slightly. “I had to join Banner Health for dinner. It seems cozying up to them at the baseball game a few months ago was not enough to get a good deal for our patients.”
Lilac pulled his coat closer around herself but said nothing. 
“What about you? Why are you so determined to die of hypothermia?” His eyes briefly swiveled to her dress again. “Is your date going that terribly?”
Ethan added the last part casually enough but Lilac sensed that he was extremely interested in the answer. 
“I would take a horrible date over what's going on in there.” She gestured toward the window of the restaurant with a nod. At Ethan's evident confusion, she added, “Family dinner.”
“Aren't you close with your family?” 
“My mother, father, and siblings? Yes. My cousin?” Lilac allowed a look of disgust to be her answer. 
The crowd of people that moved around them on the sidewalk forced them closer together. Lilac's stomach fluttered but Ethan looked unfazed, peering down at her expectantly, waiting for her to go on. 
“It's my cousin Griselda's annual Christmas dinner at this ostentatious restaurant. Mostly because she can't cook for shit.” She explained this with a sarcastic flair. “But we're all supposed to forget about that when she shoves expensive meals under our noses.”
To her surprise, Ethan chuckled. “Sounds like fresh hell. Why even attend?” 
“Because it would be unspeakably rude not to show up? The family drama this would cause would be ten times worse.” Lilac glanced through the window of the dark restaurant, all tables lit by candle light. “So instead, us poor bastards who live in the East Coast are forced to hear all about how successful and beautiful she is.”
In moving her hands and arms when shit-talking her cousin, Ethan's coat began to slip off one of her shoulders. 
“You're a doctor, Rookie. And a damn good one at that.” 
Ethan's eyes fell to the curve of her exposed shoulder then back to her eyes. His gaze held such intensity that she was momentarily struck motionless. Very gently, gentler than she had ever seen him before, he reached over to adjust his coat around her, the sweep of his fingers against her skin leaving a trail of heat.
“And not to mention you're also quite beau—” 
“So you made it after all.” 
Griselda looked directly at Ethan as she emerged from the restaurant. There was no greeting, only bitter disappointment in her voice. Her cousin's dark, judgmental eyes swept the handsome doctor from head to toe, as though trying to find a flaw but finding none to her dismay.
“We all thought Lilita here was bluffing.”
Ethan stared at Griselda with brief surprise at being addressed so bluntly. His questioning gaze briefly moved to Lilac who grit her teeth in embarrassment, wishing for the ground to swallow her whole. 
The longest silence in Lilac's existence passed before he spoke again. 
“I arrived as fast as I could on such short notice.”
Lilac's head snapped to look at him, only belatedly remembering to hide her surprise.
“It's unspeakably rude to invite someone impromptu,” Ethan continued, matching Griselda's cool, haughty demeanor. 
Lilac could have kissed him with gratitude. 
“Yes, well.” For the first time in her life, Griselda Castillo had no retort. 
It was all too perfect. All Lilac had to do now was make up an excuse for Ethan to go and no one would be the wiser about her stupid lie. Not even Ethan himself. It was all going to work out—
“Forgive me, we were not aware Lilac was seeing someone. Easy mistake to make.” Griselda threw a faux saccharine smile Lilac's way. “When we heard about the famous boyfriend, however, we just had to meet you.”
Fuck you, Griselda. 
Lilac couldn't decide if she wanted to push her cousin onto moving traffic or if she wished to walk right into it herself. 
Beside her, Ethan remained very still. 
“He actually can't stay.” Lilac said, her voice hitching higher in barely controlled panic. “He has to finish some research for his next case study.” 
Griselda looked between Ethan and Lilac, clearly unconvinced. Her crimson lips slowly turned up into a devilish, triumphant smile that would have put the Grinch himself to shame. 
Ethan seemed to recover beside her because he cleared his throat. 
Then, he moved to stand closer to Lilac and to her utter, complete shock, he wrapped an arm around her waist with enviable grace. 
“My research can wait, love,” he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her temple. “If your family wants to meet your boyfriend then that's what they'll do.”
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If someone had told him that morning that his day would end at the most pretentious restaurant in the city with Lilac Allende pressed close to his side, he would have recommended a brain CT scan. Yet, there he stood, being hastily introduced to people whose names he had no chance of remembering right away, not when Lilac's hand slid slightly down his chest, scorching him through the very fabric of his shirt. 
He glanced down at her and immediately realized what a mistake that had been. The glittering, sinful dress she wore was entirely too distracting on its own, but the charged way her green eyes studied his face... it made the energy between them crackle like an exposed wire.
“Everyone, this is Doctor Ethan Ramsey,” Lilac said to the curious and expectant table. “My…”
She trailed off, turning a bashful glance at Ethan. 
“Boyfriend,” Ethan finished without pause. He willfully ignored the thrill the juvenile word sent through him. 
As they took their seats, Ethan was still unsure what possessed him to pretend for her sake. All he saw was her cousin's mocking grin and Lilac's dejected, mortified frown and suddenly, he felt the urge to be anything she needed. 
“Pleasure, Doctor Ramsey,” Griselda said with as much enthusiasm as someone with a hernia. 
Ethan decided right then that if anything else, at least he would enjoy free food and alcohol, all paid for by Lilac's unpleasant cousin. When he looked over at his pretend girlfriend, pale dress glittering in the candle light and looking as radiant as ever, his blood buzzed with unbridled yearning.
“Ramsey?” the blonde man sitting next to Lilac's cousin asked with interest. “Why does that sound familiar? Where do I know you from?” 
“Ethan is a world famous doc—” 
“Wait,” a young woman with a mountain of curly hair and a kind face interrupted, enthusiastic. “He was in your Miami pictures, wasn't he?” 
Ethan blinked. 
Beside him, Lilac shook her head frantically at the young woman. 
“Natalia,” she hissed, but Natalia either missed this or ignored it. 
“You're so photogenic, Doctor,” she commented with a broad grin. “I messaged Lilita about it. The way she talked about you, it was so obvious she was into you.”
Ethan raised an intrigued eyebrow at the lovely, blushing doctor beside him. Lilac, however, studiously avoided his eyes, suddenly very interested in her wine. 
A young man sitting next to Natalia laughed. He shared many similarities with her, including the unruly curls. 
“I think we all called that one, Nat.”
“Has everyone tried the calamari?” Griselda interjected sharply. Ethan got the impression she didn't appreciate any conversation that was not solely about her. “It is divine.”
As Natalia rolled her eyes and challenged that proclamation, Ethan leaned in close to Lilac, the heady scent of her perfume sending his mind to less than honorable places. She had been leaning in too and they ended almost nose to nose. 
“You don't have to do this for much longer,” she whispered. “I can think of something so we can leave.”
Ethan ignored this and instead asked, “Miami pictures?” 
She blushed even deeper.
“Into me?” 
She was the color of her wine by now. 
Ethan had never seen this timid, demure side of her. Typically, the roles were reversed where he was the object of her teasing. As he watched her lovely blush spread down to her graceful neck, Ethan found he enjoyed this dynamic. 
It made him wish he could kiss her. Hard. 
“Tell her, Lilita,” the curly-haired young man called from his seat, making Griselda's eyes bulge out with indignation. “Aunt Margo's tamales are the only acceptable meal for Christmas.”
“Sebastian, you are making a scene,” Griselda muttered. 
“I'll let my mom know you miss her food, Sebas. She'll love you more than she already does,” Lilac laughed.
 The sound, accompanied with the fact that she looked so much more at ease, made Ethan's chest glow with contentment. 
Before he could stop himself, his hand moved atop hers under the table. Lilac stiffened in surprise but relaxed immediately after, keeping their hands locked. 
“I'm just not convinced tamales make for an elegant Christmas dinner,” Griselda was saying. 
“Bitch, you grew up in Guadalajara,” Natalia returned at once. “That's all you ate in the winter.”
The whole table laughed, much to Griselda's fury. The blonde man beside her rubbed her back soothingly to no avail. Instead, her sharp eyes zeroed in on Lilac like daggers and an air of conceit returned to her expression. 
“So how long have you two been together?” 
“A few months,” Ethan returned with ease. 
“Ooh,” Natalia commented. “The honeymoon stage! Where you can't keep your hands off the other and all you want to do is—” 
“Funny,” Griselda continued, eyes never leaving Lilac. “My cousin never really mentioned you.”
“She never really mentioned you either,” Ethan deflected. 
Sebastian almost choked on his drink. 
“How did you meet?”
Griselda's question came off as a challenge. 
“We work together.”
“Is that allowed?” 
“Yes.”
Below the table, Lilac gripped his hand. Ethan squeezed back, wishing more than anything that his lie was true. 
“Was it love at first sight?” Natalia asked with genuine interest.
“Have you seen her?” the blonde man joked before Ethan could consider the question or how much he despised the phrase "love at first sight." Something coiled in his stomach at the less than innocent smile the man was sending Lilac's neckline. 
His fist clenched at his side, itching to connect with the man's jaw in a swift undercut. 
“Keith,” Griselda chided, also looking thoroughly displeased. 
Keith did a poor job at looking abashed. This did not fly with Natalia, who Ethan liked more and more each minute, because she glared at Keith and scolded him in both English and Spanish. 
“You don't have to answer Nat's question if she asks again, by the way,” Lilac said as her cousins argued.
Ethan said nothing, careful to keep his expression neutral. 
If he were to answer the question, the answer would be a resounding no. His feelings for the beautiful young doctor before him did not arise from their first meeting. As a matter of fact, after the thoracotomy, Ethan had walked away thinking her arrogant and impertinent, just like any other fresh-faced intern eager to impress an attending. Except this intern had done so by flirting with him. 
 Instead, he thought of her hand atop his in the NICU as they watched over Dolores's baby fight for his life; of the comforting hand on his knee as he told her about Naveen; of every kind, warm smile she gifted him with when passing each other in the hallway. 
It had decidedly not been love at first sight. The clichéd expression would never be enough to capture the way his heart ached for her every time he laid eyes on her, each time with much more force. 
“No amount of free alcohol or expensive food should make you feel obligated to act that much,” Lilac laughed, oblivious. Sparkling green eyes met his, taking in his expression. “What?” 
Ethan swallowed. He was unable to decide if he wanted to tell her he was far from acting or if he wanted to pull her close and kiss her. 
“We're leaving,” Griselda announced in a harsh and dramatic whisper as a way to end the ongoing argument. She frantically collected her belongings and rose at once. 
When she realized no one at the table was saddened by the announcement, she marched out of the restaurant with Keith at her heels. As soon as she was gone, Natalia cackled. 
“Well, that was one of the better Grinch-elda dinners.”
Sebastian threw Ethan an appreciative smile. “It appears Doctor Ramsey is the only one who can tame her. She finally met her match.”
“That was her tame?” 
The cousins laughed. 
After a final round of drinks, Natalia and Sebastian announced that they too had to depart. When they were out the door, Lilac exhaled and relaxed for the first time all evening. 
“Thank—” 
But Ethan shook his head, interrupting. “Don't mention it, Rookie.”
Lilac gave him a single nod and when she couldn't stand the heat of their eyes on one another’s, she averted her gaze to readjust the front of her dress. 
Soon they would each be going their separate ways and this brief fantasy would really be over. 
With a pang, he realized he didn't want it to be. 
“Lilac?” 
“Hmm?” 
Her eyes met his and Ethan forgot all coherence, not that he knew what exactly he planned to say anyway. Rosy, plush lips commanded his attention and Ethan leaned in, determined to feel them against his again. 
Lilac moved too, until their breaths mingled together, the distance separating them as insignificant as the million reasons they deemed this a bad idea.
They were so close now, Ethan's hand moving to the dip of her waist. She whispered his name, a silent invitation, and the last remnants of restraint vanished. 
“Oh shit. Sorry—” 
Natalia halted at their table, slightly out of breath, nose and cheeks rosy from the cold. Lilac and Ethan sprang apart, which only made Natalia wince apologetically. 
“I'm so sorry to interrupt but I can't believe I forgot to tell you. We're all spending New Year's Eve in Griselda's cabin in Vermont. It’s going to be this but ten times worse so we need all the backup we can get.”
Lilac tensed visibly next to him. 
“You two should come.”
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Author’s Note: If you made it this far, thank you! 
I decided Lilac’s family nickname is Lilita because Latin American families do that all the time. For example, my cousin’s name is Teresa and they call her Teresita (in diminutive form with the -ita/-ito). Which is hilarious to me because they make the names longer rather than shorter. They do that with own full name too, lol. I love it. 
Anyway: Hopefully, my inspiration doesn’t vanish for a part 2! 
Happy Holidays to everyone! 
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Tags: @openheart12​ , @takeharryandgo​ , @trappedinfanfiction​, @aestheticartsx​, @aworldoffandoms​, @paulfwesley​, @myusualnerdyself​,  @rookie-ramsey​, @ohchoices​,  @enmchoices​, @i-bloody-love-drake-walker​, @choicesfanaf​, @openheartthot​, @octobereighth​, @nazarihoe​, @utterlyinevitable​, @kites-in-our-skies​, @maurine07​, @schnitzelbutterfingers​, @doilooklikeiknow​, @snesdudes​, @kingliam2019​, @perriewinklenerdie​, @cinnamonspongecake​, , @queencarb​, @ethxnrxmsey​, @missmiimiie​, @jens-diamondchoices​, @adamsdumortain​, @apphia12​, @kalogh​, @lucy-268​, @binny1985​, @queenbirbs​, @honeyandsunfl0wers​, @newcolonies​, @lilyvalentine​, @rigatonireid​, @interobanginyourmom​, @parkerattano​, @custaroonie​, @nikki-2406, @lilypills​, @chasingrobbie​, @nooruleman​,  @lonely-mxxnlight​, @ruinedbypixels​, @shadynaturehilariouscookie​, @tsrookie​, @mvalentine​, @professorkingslay​, @drakewalkerfantasy​, @casey-v​, @helloblueeyedcat​, @mysticaurathings​, @blossomanarchy​, @thegreentwin​, @togetherwearerapture​, @rookieoh​,  @rookiemarsswiftie​, @natashajaniphilchoices​, @mysticalgalaxysstuff​, @hatescapsicum​, @choices-lurker​, @kiara-36​, @junehiratas​, @danijimenezv​, @macy-ray85​, @adrex04​, @canigetanawwjunk​, @sanchita012​, @overwhelminglyaquarius​ , @scorpiochick8​, @skylarklyon​, @starrystarrytrouble​, @mercury84choices​, @drariellevalentine​, @ethanrcmsey​,  @aarisa-frost​,  @udishaman​, @a-crepusculo​, @quacksonlover​, @caroldxnvxrs​, @ramseyandrys​, @whatchique​​, @openheartfanfics​​@varikasnuori​, @dimitriwife​​, @genevievemd​​, @shanzay44​​, @fabi-en-ciel​​, @trebondialanna​​, @lady-calypso​​, @ashiiknees​​, @dr-ramseys-rookie​​, @stygianflood​​, @bellcat2010​​, @iemcpbchoices​​,  @emotionalswift2,  @lion-ess24,
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matbarzyy · 3 years
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To Love Is To Let Go [A.B.]
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How can the heart and mind find a balance when love and yearning are mixed up with distance and responsibilities?
A/N: I’m so excited for you guys to finally read this! Another conversation about Tito with @itrocksmysocks​ made us create this story and I ended up writing it, so I hope you’ll like it!
Word count: 12219
Warning: A tiny bit of smut
.
“If you don’t go get that man I swear!” Adeline’s friend, Maya, exclaimed as she gave her shoulder a push.
They were out to celebrate together in Montreal because a month had now passed since Adaline moved there for her internship assisting a book editor, and it had to be memorable.
“Okay okay! I’m doing it!” The brunette adjusted her skirt, fixed a strand of her hair, and took a deep breath. “I’m going,” she said more for herself than anyone else.
            The man across the bar had finally gotten up from the table he was at with his friends to order a drink, and that was the perfect opportunity for Adeline to go up to him. She might not get another chance during the night, so with an extra push from her friend, she found herself walking over to where he was.
“Hi,” she greeted him shyly, making him turn his attention to her. Her voice felt a little weak and looking straight into his blue eyes was more destabilizing than she thought it would be.
“Hi,” he replied as he waited, his tone suggesting she had to continue quickly if she didn’t want to lose his attention.
“I, uh,” Adeline struggled before getting a hold of herself again. She wasn’t a fifteen years old high school girl admitting her crush to a boy, she was a confident woman in a bar, and she was going to act like one. “I saw you sitting with your friends earlier and I figured now was a good time to come ask if I could get you a drink.” She let the sentence out without a hitch, and a little sense of pride filled her until his lack of reaction made her deflate. “Or not, it’s fine if not.”
“No, no,” he reassured her as a smile spread on his face. “I mean, yeah, you can get me a drink, if I can get your name,”
“Adeline,” she told him without hesitation.
“Adeline,” he repeated before nodding. “That’s pretty, I’m Anthony, but most of my friends call me Tito.”
            With the introductions over, Adeline leaned against the bar beside him and the bartender came over to them. One drink soon turned into two, the alcohol was going down fast to erase the nervousness, but their conversation was flowing surprisingly easily. Nevertheless, three drinks were all it took for Adeline and Maya to be reunited in the bathroom.
“So?” She grilled her for the details while Adeline pressed her palms over her cheeks, trying to get herself to cool down.
“I really like him,” she admitted to Maya and shushed out her excitement immediately after. “But he could still be a weirdo, he’s too nice to be true.”
“Honey, he’s not a weirdo, he’s a professional hockey player,” Maya chuckled as she revealed everything she knew. “Why do you think he’s so hot?”
“How do you know?” A frown settled on the brunette’s face as she pieced everything together.
“He’s a NHL player, how do you not know?” Her friend countered and reached up to remove a small piece of fluff from her hair.
“Oh my god,” Adeline breathed out. “Why didn’t you tell me before?”
“It was sweet you didn’t know,” Maya shrugged. “Now go back out there and make him swoon.”
            When they returned, Anthony was sitting at a small table by himself, and she didn’t hesitate to join. Maya was friends with one of the bartenders there, so it wasn’t like she minded being left alone.
“I figured it’d be more comfortable,” he explained as she took a seat. “Especially if we keep on going at that pace,”
“You figured right,” Adeline, put her elbow on the table and rested her chin on her hand. “My friend told me something interesting about you,”
“Should I start worrying?” He exhaled a nervous chuckle, but she shook her head almost imperceptibly.
“You play hockey?” She looked into his eyes to gauge his reaction. Maybe the alcohol was hindering her perceptiveness, but if she was right it looked like the question made him sad.
“Ah,” Tito’s nervousness settled but a sense of disappointment replaced it. “I kinda suspected you knew already,”
“I had no clue until five minutes ago, figured it was only fair to tell you,” Adeline told him the truth because she knew instantly that the kind of attention he got from being a professional athlete wasn’t necessarily the kind of attention he wanted. “Was it better when I didn’t know?”
“Yes and no,” he replied honestly. “Yes, because it meant you just liked me and not for shitty reasons. No because I wasn’t going to hide it anyway, and you didn’t know for the past hour, so I feel like we’re good,”
“Good,” she smiled. “Feel like having another drink?”
            Tito wasn’t one to turn the offer down, and the two spilled things to each other that they would have never considered sharing with a stranger before. It was freeing to talk without boundaries, to be able to say anything on any subject and listen to someone else’s perspective of the world. Adeline thought he was interesting for someone so different. He was down to earth and witty, constantly making her laugh with the dumbest jokes, and maybe it was because she was drunk, but deep down she knew the butterflies and giddiness she felt weren’t from the alcohol.
“You’re so damn adorable,” Tito blurted out in the middle of one of her sentences, and silence fell onto their conversation.
            Adeline stared at him while a smile spread on her face, but the cuteness of the moment was cut off by both of them bursting out laughing for no apparent reason. It was a fit of uncontrolled giggles at first, followed by an outburst of deep laughs that they thought would never stop.
“We’re so fucking drunk,” Adeline managed to squeak out through shakes of her chest.
“Yeah, you might wanna let go of this,” Tito reached to gently push her drink a few inches away from her hand, but his inhibitions were low and he underestimated his strength, sending the glass sliding all the way to the edge of the table.
            Their eyes widened in shock when it stopped just before falling to the floor, and with that another fit of unstoppable laughter began.
            It was something neither of them ever experienced that strongly, that connection with a stranger that made them feel like they had known each other their own lives. In the middle of their busy, messy lives, they had found a bubble of happiness and oxygen within each other.
            It took several minutes for them to calm down, and when a relatively normal conversation resumed, Maya walked over to them to ask if she should leave on her own or wait for Adeline. Time had flown by and it was past one in the morning already.
“Five minutes?” The brunette barely looked away from Tito, and Maya took the hint.
“Well, before you go,” He waited until she had walked away to continue. “Can I ask for your number or do you have to be the one taking all the first steps?”
“You can have my number.”
.
            Getting into the uber with Maya was a blur, all that Adeline knew was that she was feeling like a kid on Christmas eve after her night with Tito. She wasn’t drunk enough that she couldn’t make a sentence or walk, but definitely drunk enough to zone out and say everything on her mind no matter how stupid or embarrassing.
“Oh my god, he’s already texting?” Maya took the phone from her inebriated friend’s hands after it buzzed multiple times. “Damn,” she looked over the few messages they had started to exchange.
            Adaline didn’t respond, only giggling drunkenly before getting her phone back and focusing on the screen to type another reply. Everything was a little bit blurry, especially in the moving car, but once it stopped in front of her building she sobered up a little.
“Drink some water before bed, yeah?” Her friend told her as she opened the door.
“Yep! Text when you’re home!” Adeline gave her friend a loud kiss on the cheek before getting out and somehow walking to the door without stumbling.
T: Fries would be sooooo good right now
            The text came just as she kicked her shoes off while the door fell shut behind her. She groaned out loud at the idea, heading to her bedroom with her phone in hand.
A: Don’t talk to me about food I’m starving now
T: Make food?
A: I can barely hold my phone
            Adeline struggled to take her clothes off and sighed in relief once she was finally naked.
T: What if I come over with fries?
A: Omg you would?
T: Address?
“Well shit,” she laughed to herself as she grabbed a pair of grey sweatpants, pairing them with a comfy t-shirt because she was too drunk and tired to put in an effort with sexy pajamas. She was pretty sure sex wasn’t an option for tonight anyway, they were both too drunk, it wouldn’t get anywhere.
            Adeline sat on her living room floor to stay awake as she waited, her head lolling from side to side as she scrolled through social media, laughing and snorting out loud in ways she’d never do sober. It only took ten minutes for Tito to text he was there, and she jumped back up with renewed energy at the idea of food.
“My savior!” She exclaimed as she opened the door for him and saw the paper bag in his hands.
“Shh, your neighbors!” Tito laughed at her, letting himself in and giving her the bag before following her to the living room.
“Fuck Tito,” Adeline took in the smell of the fries as she opened one of the boxes and handed it to him. “I owe you big time,”
“They’re just fries,” he sat on the carpet with her. “But I’d take some ketchup,”
“Oh, yeah!” She crawled over to the fridge that was easily accessible since she had an open kitchen. The apartment wasn’t huge, but since the kitchen and living room were merged the living space was big enough.
“Mph,” Tito groaned as he stuffed fries in his mouth. “Best decision ever,”
“And does this look like a good decision?” She said to catch his attention, a bottle of tequila in hand.
“It looks like a terrible decision and I’m so down for it.”
            Adeline sat on the floor with him, food, condiment, and bottle of tequila all within reach. She took the first gulp, big enough that it was worth more than a shot, and Tito followed her lead.
            The rest of the night was erased from both of their memories.
            When she woke up, Adeline felt her body ache in ways it rarely had before. She was still on the floor and there was a bad taste in her mouth as she opened her eyes. The paper bag that Tito brought over was on the floor along with two empty boxes that once held the fries. Tito himself was on the floor too, and his position looked more than uncomfortable, but his mouth was slightly parted, and his chest was rising and falling at a steady rhythm.
“Hey,” Adeline rasped out, nudging him with her foot. “You alive?” She asked as he stirred awake.
            An unconvinced grunt reached her in response, and Tito brought his hands up to rub his face.
“Time?” He groaned, counting on her to have her eyes open.
“Eleven,” she pushed herself up and grabbed the counter while a wave of nausea washed over her. “Advil?”
“Fuck yes,”
            Tito managed to get up too and downed two glasses of water with the pills Adeline handed him. They were both silent as they sat on the couch and took some time to really wake up. The apartment was on a low floor, and for the first time since she moved in, Adeline was glad for the lack of light that came from outside.
“I’m gonna make pancakes.” She eventually said, deciding breakfast was the only way her stomach would settle.
“Oh, so you’re going to beat me to every nice gesture?” Tito teased although he was glad he was about to eat. She gave him a look and he only smiled, leaning back more comfortably on the couch. “Jokes aside, this was the best night I’ve had in forever.”
“Me too,” Adeline hummed, already pouring milk into the rest of her ingredients and stirring. She cooked breakfast so often she could make pancakes with her eyes closed. “It was a lot more fun than any stupid party I’ve gone to lately,”
            The conversation shifted to small talk after that, something to keep themselves busy as they got lost in thoughts. There was some unspoken communication going on, they obviously had chemistry, but they had only known each other for one night and they were already being so domestic it was scary for both of them.
It was clear they could build something together if they gave it a try, but Tito didn’t live in Montreal, and why the hell was Adeline even thinking so far ahead already? She tried her best to focus on cooking to get all of the ideas out of her head and stacked the pancakes in plates before bringing them over to the table.
“I want to eat these every morning for the rest of my life,” Tito almost moaned when he took the first bite of his food.
            Adeline always kept maple syrup around, and this morning she even had some chocolate spread and strawberries left from this week’s grocery shopping. It made for an amazing breakfast.
“Thanks, I cook a lot,” she explained as she dug into her own food. “The cleaning up is the not fun part.”
“I hate dishes,” Tito nodded his agreement.
“A nice guest would offer to do them after I just cooked,” she pointed out to see what’d he’d say, and he put on his best angel face.
“Mmh, but a nice host would politely refuse that kind of offer,” he tried to serve his half ass excuse with a smile.
“Do you want more pancakes, or do you want to get kicked out?” Adeline gave him a murderous look in response, and Tito forgot to chew as he swallowed his next bite.
“Pancakes, definitely the pancakes. Promise I’ll do the dishes.”
.
            When the Sunday ended, Tito went home and Adeline spent hours in a bath trying to set her mind straight. She liked him a lot, there was no denying that, but would they ever be able to make anything work? He was an amazing person and they had a great night together, but it didn’t mean he’d let himself fall for her too, especially since he lived in New York most of the time.
            A sigh fell from her lips in the steam-filled bathroom, and she let her body slide down for her head to be submerged. The world turned silent and dark for a few seconds, it helped her empty her mind of all thoughts. When she pushed herself up with her feet and oxygen filled her lungs again, Adeline felt a little better.
            Little did she know that Tito was dealing with the same dilemma in his own shower. He had tried to work out to sweat the hangover off, but seeing that the twenty minutes of running only worsened his headache, he didn’t take it further than that. It wasn’t really the hangover that was bothering him, it was the feelings he was catching for a woman he had known for less than twenty-four hours.
            Was that what love at first sight was supposed to be like? Sure, it wasn’t exactly at first sight, Tito had only felt a connection with her the second she opened her mouth, not the second he saw her, but what even was the difference at this point? How could he even think of the word love? It was a crush at first sight at best.
            No matter what they told themselves, Tito and Adeline couldn’t stop thinking about each other. Their constant texting the following days didn’t help either. The conversation was never boring enough to die, and when one of them fell asleep they picked up where they left off as soon as they were up in the morning. Sometimes, Adeline found herself giggling out loud because he reminded her of something he just remembered they laughed about when drinking tequila on her living room floor.
            It was Wednesday when Adeline found herself in her bed wishing she could talk to him like they did a few nights prior. There weren’t many boundaries with Tito, they were obviously flirting and open about it, so she didn’t hesitate to tell him she missed seeing him. His name flashed on her screen a second later with a cute picture of his drunk face she didn’t remember taking Saturday night. He was smiling like an idiot, obviously still half laughing, and his blue eyes were sparkling with joy. Adeline hadn’t seen it, but she knew he had one of her too.
“Hello,” she said a little shyly when she saw her face on the screen. She looked like a bit of a mess.
“Hi beautiful,” Tito grinned from his bed, his short hair somehow messed up from the pillow.
“Shut up,” Adeline covered her face with her hand, but he only laughed on the other hand of the line.
“You know, it’s not fair if you get to see me and I don’t,” he reminded her to make her drop her hand. “I missed seeing you too.”
“Mmh, so when are we having a repeat of Saturday night?” She asked him because he had vaguely mentioned making plans during the day.
“Never,” he rolled his eyes. “That headache was killing me. We could do something else, maybe dinner?”
“Are you asking me out on a date, Beauvillier?” Adeline teased, hiding the way her heart jumped in her chest.
“Yeah, how do you feel about it?” His smile was as big as hers when he replied, confident she’d say yes based on the look on her face.
“I feel like I’m free tomorrow night and I’d love to go out.”
“I’ll pick you up at seven?” Tito thought of a restaurant to bring her to immediately, and he made a mental note to call for a reservation in the morning.
“It’s a date.”
.
            Hugging Tito when he came to pick her up felt natural to Adeline. Butterflies erupted in her stomach the second he knocked, and her heart was ready to beat out of her chest when his arms closed around her.
“Hi you,” he kissed her cheek and she just about melted against him.
“Hi,” Adeline greeted him and let go before she made things awkward. “You look nice.” She complimented as she took notice of the navy shirt he was wearing. It matched the blouse she wore tucked in her tweed skirt. August wasn’t too cold in Montreal and she knew she’d be okay with tights.
“Thank you,” he smiled. “You look great too, I like your hair like that.” Tito had to stop himself from reaching up and touching it “Are you ready to go?”
            Adeline murmured a quick thanks and nodded while her cheeks burned. She wasn’t easily intimidated but something about the prospect of a date with Tito was making her nervous. What if they didn’t click now that they were sober and seeing each other in person?
“Hey, everything okay?” Tito asked once they were both sitting in his car and Adeline still hadn’t said a word.
“Yeah, sorry, I’m just…” She coughed a little to clear her throat and he finished the sentence for her.
“Nervous?”
“Kind of.”
“Me too,” he admitted and glanced at her for a second, keeping his main focus on the road. “That night was great, I just want everything to live up to those expectations now,”
“I feel the same,” Adeline told him, her nerves settling now that she knew he could relate. “But if we can get along when we’re drunk and stupid we can handle a first date, right?”
“Right, as long as you don’t make me sleep on your living room floor tonight, we’re good,” Tito joked, he could still feel the ache in his back.
“First of all, you passed out on said floor, I didn’t make you. Second, bold of you to assume you’re getting invited in again.” She laughed at him. Thoughts of how the night would end had filled her mind all day long despite all the work she had to get done, but none of the scenarios involved him sleeping at her place yet. It wasn’t that she didn’t want it, but it was far too early for something like that. She didn’t want to risk ruining whatever was between them by rushing in.
“What if I bring fries?” He pushed his luck, but it was all playful, and Adeline shook her head again.
“Nice try, but you’re feeding me before we get home this time,”
“Mmh, I’m sure I’ll figure something out.” He rested his hand on her knee, and she moved a little closer to him until the end of the drive.
            Tito didn’t get invited in that night, and he was okay with it. He would have been okay with anything after the way she kissed him in front of her door. Maybe it was stupid, but he’d never gotten a kiss like that after a date that didn’t end up leading to something more too fast. There was something more between him and Adeline, and this was easily the best kiss of his life.
“Is that too soon?” She had hesitated, her hand on his cheeks and lips less than an inch away from his.
“No,” Tito replied, anything else he might have wanted to say cut off by her kiss. His body melted against hers, his hand pulling her waist closer as they moved their lips slowly, exchanging a passionate yet sweet kiss.
            He replayed the moment in his mind the whole ride home, grinning stupidly and humming along to songs on the radio with renewed cheerfulness. For a while he thought they’d keep kissing in front of her door forever, but noise from a door slamming upstairs reminded them they were still in a corridor. With a few nervous chuckles and one last kiss, Tito had left, and now nothing could ruin his good mood.
            That date was followed by another the next week, and another a few days later, until they were so attached to each other they spent every free second they had together. Tito sometimes showed up to her place in the morning with coffee and a bagel from her favorite café so that he could drive her to work. When it was time for her lunch break he’d pick her up and they’d eat out somewhere.
            Since it was the off season he didn’t have many obligations, and while Adeline insisted he didn’t have to drive her everywhere, Tito just really wanted to. He usually spent the morning in the gym to stay in shape, and he used the afternoon to see some friends and his family. Every other moment was reserved for Adeline only.
            Her internship kept her busy outside of working hours too, but she always managed to make him fit in her schedule and doubled her efforts on some nights to be free during others. It was tough but Adeline’s motivation had never been higher, there was so much happiness in her life that no task seemed too big to accomplish.
            Before meeting him, she’d spend all her free time outside or writing poems, which Tito often said she should still do without him. He didn’t want to take away from her personal space and habits, but she simply shook her head and shut him up with a kiss every time. She had never been more inspired than she was when he was around, and her poems gained in quality and length even with less time spent working on them. They weren’t the work of her brain, but of her heart.
“You got me flowers?” Adeline beamed one evening when he picked her up and she spotted the bouquet in the car.
“I should have hidden it in the back,” Tito sighed at the ruined surprise. “But yeah, I haven’t done that for you before. Do you like them?”
“I love pink gerberas,” she leaned over to kiss his cheek. “Thank you.”
            The rest of the drive was quiet, and when they reached her apartment, Tito got to come inside with her for the first time since they were drunk together. Adeline placed the flowers in a vase at the center of her dinner table and smiled to herself. They matched her coasters; it was her favorite color when it came to flowers. It was only a lucky guess, but Tito really had a way to make her swoon with every little gesture.
“It’s not very big, but let me show you around properly this time,” Adeline had cleaned the previous day and made sure to make her bed in the morning so that she could show him.
            They spent the end of the day together, Adeline cooking for both of them and Tito doing dishes as she cooked to help out. It was nice and comfortable, but they were both more than happy when they could finally crash on the couch together.
“Wanna watch something?” She asked, cuddled against his chest. She could have stayed like that forever, just listening to his heartbeat, but she didn’t want him to get bored.
“Mmh, what are you thinking?” Tito rested a hand in the middle of her back, relaxing into her warmth and the soft comforting smell of her place.
“You pick,” Adeline turned the TV on, picked Netflix and handed him the remote so that he could scroll through what was available.
“TV show or movie?” He took note of the things she was currently watching as he scrolled down, and she shrugged against him.
“Movie?” She decided randomly. Her only thought was that she didn’t want him to leave after just one episode of a TV show.
            It was clear they were attracted to each other, but everything had been so perfect in their relationship so far that neither pushed for dates to end with more than a kiss. Adeline’s work was a lot to handle on some days, and she was exhausted on most nights, so Tito never felt like insisting he should come in, even just to spend the night cuddling. He knew he’d keep her up forever because they could rarely stop talking once they started.
            He picked a movie that looked half decent with her approval, oblivious to the fact that neither of them was planning on watching it anyway. Adeline only wanted to enjoy the feeling of being in his arms like that, and he couldn’t care less about anything in the world as long as he could feel her against him.
“You ever think of how crazy it is that we started getting along so well so fast?” She eventually whispered, wondering if he was one to talk during movies or if he liked watching them without interruption.
            The usual answer would have been without interruption, but Tito was much more interested in Adeline than in the movie that night.
“I do, yeah,” he rubbed motions with his thumb on her back. “And it just makes me glad I found you,”
“I feel good around you,” Adeline lifted her head so that she could look at him for a second, she was met with a soft smile, followed by an even softer kiss.
“Should we…” He panted as she kissed back with a little more purpose. “Should we maybe ditch the movie?” Her lips moved to his cheek and down his jaw, making him bite back a groan until she was leaving kisses on his neck and he couldn’t hold it back anymore.
“Yes,” she didn’t hesitate in her answer, lifting herself off him.
            Tito got up after her and pulled her back to him for a passionate kiss, both of them stumbling as she tried to step back towards her bedroom. They chuckled against each other before parting long enough to make it there, and the heaviness of the moment settled on them when they finally sat on the bed.
            Adeline got a condom out of her bedside drawer and placed it on the bed so that they wouldn’t have to worry about it later, and as soon as that was done Tito’s lips were back on hers. Feeling him close to her helped her relax, so she followed his guiding hands until she was straddling him and sitting back on his thighs.
            There was no rush to their movements, they made out slowly and let their hands wander to begin exploring each other, over their clothes at first, and then slipping underneath the fabrics. Their shirts were first to go, and the sight of their bodies like that was enough for them both to need a moment to just breathe. When their lips joined and they found themselves chest to chest again, the desire and heat of the kiss grew stronger.
            Tito’s hands were on her waist, caressing softly before trailing up her back and finding the clasp of her bra. He murmured a question between kisses, and the breathy yes he got in response encouraged him to undo the clasp and remove the material from her body.
            His touches were gentle, pulling quiet gasps out of her as soon as he left her lips to kiss over her neck, looking for the tender spots that made her hips roll so close to his. Adeline’s hands were on his chest, discovering every muscle and the way they clenched when he moved to gently push her back on the mattress. She resisted the urge to hide herself from him, and Tito was nothing but loving as he found the spots that made her breathing hitch with the tips of his fingers.
            Her jeans were next to go, her underwear following a second after while she tugged at Tito’s clothes to get him to remove them too. She used the opportunity to get him on his back and kissed her way down his chest, earning a quiet moan that turned her on so much she almost moaned back just from the noise.
“Baby,” Tito breathed out when her lips pressed over the bulge in his boxers. “Not tonight, please,” his chest was rising and falling faster.
“Okay,” she listened and lifted her head to kiss his stomach again instead, but he could still see the silent question in her eyes.
“You’re going to kill me if you do this right now.” He explained as he reversed the position, adjusting her until she was comfortably resting on a pillow.
“That’s why it’s so fun,” Adeline grinned, and he laughed before their lips met again.
            The kiss was a little messier because of how hard it was for them to stop smiling, but everything intensified when Tito’s fingers found a spot high up on her inner thigh that made her whimper into his mouth.
“That okay?” He whispered close to her ear, kissing the spot just underneath it as she gasped her affirmation.
            He didn’t waste another second before slowly sliding two of his fingers against her and rubbing gentle circles over her clit. Adeline clutched his back in response, moaning softly and moving her hips up for more contact. She was overwhelmed by everything about him, from the light scratch of his beard against her skin when he nibbled at her jaw, the warmth of his almost-naked body close to hers, to the incredible feeling of his fingers rubbing against her perfectly.
            Tito held back moans that threatened to come out just from feeling her dripping for him. He kissed her deeply as he slowly slid his fingers further down and inside of her, his thumb replacing them over her clit. The noises she made into his mouth made him roll his hips against the mattress for some relief, and his chest swelled with pride every time he felt her body react to his touch.
            There had been so much anticipation between them, such a long build up and so many kisses that lingered as they both ached for more, that it didn’t take long for Adeline to feel herself get close to the edge. She clutched Tito’s back harder, holding onto him for dear life as she tried to keep her legs still to let him keep going.
            Her moans and gasps sped up when he let go of her lips and opted for kissing her neck instead to let her breathe, and it all encouraged him to pick up his pace, curling his fingers into her sweet spot until he could feel her body trembling. Adeline’s jaw dropped as she came, her legs closing over Tito’s hand, but it didn’t stop him from moving his fingers slowly to ride her through it.
            He was slow to pull his hand away when her body finally relaxed again, peppering kisses over her face. She wanted to bask in the feeling forever, but the second Tito pulled away from her to shuffle his boxers off, a new kind of hunger overtook her. She didn’t give him time to come back on top of her, pushing herself up and straddling him again instead.
            Tito made quick work of the condom before her lips could latch back onto his and they found themselves chest to chest with no barrier between them. Adeline’s legs wrapped around his waist as he grabbed her ass to pull her to him. They stared into each other’s eyes, resting their foreheads together and sometimes letting their noses brush before Tito reached between their bodies and finally placed his tip at her entrance.
            He didn’t break eye contact for a second as he filled her slowly, tightening his grip around her until they were as close as they could get to each other. The kiss they shared let them swallow each other’s moans and groans as they began rocking together, barely pulling away from each other before making their bodies meet again.
            The temperature rose fast in the room, and a thin layer of sweat covered their skin as they clung to each other. Adeline had never felt this close to someone before, and she had to bury her face in his neck to escape the overwhelming intensity of her feelings when she looked into his eyes.
            Tito pulled her even closer at that, grinding against her and softly moaning every time she clenched around him. He was right on the edge, trying to hold back to get her to come one last time, but everything about her felt like heaven to him. His lips found her shoulder, leaving a few kisses there as he felt himself lose control, his thighs clenching hard while his teeth lightly dug into her skin.
            His pleasured groan got Adeline to fall apart right after him, her body tightening beautifully in his arms as the noises leaving her lips echoed his. They breathed heavily against each other, remaining still for a few minutes and just letting themselves enjoy the afterglow close together.
            Tito pulled away first, carefully letting her down on the bed and kissing her one last time before heading to her bathroom to dispose of the condom. She took a turn in there to clean up right after him, and as soon as she was back in bed, she cuddled close to his chest again.
“Was that okay?” He kissed the top of her head, and her chest shook with a chuckle.
“That wasn’t okay,” Adeline shuffled up so that they could be face to face. “It was amazing,”
“Yeah?” He beamed and she nodded, angling her head to ask for another kiss.
            Tito gave in easily, humming against her lips while she guided him onto his back and rested her forearms on his torso to look at him.
“I’m falling in love with you,” she breathed out without hesitation, looking straight into his eyes and watching them widen as soon as he processed the words.
“I’m falling in love with you too,” he managed to answer even with the breath knocked out of his lungs. “I’m falling so hard.”
.
            Their honeymoon phase lasted as long as Tito’s time in Montreal did.
She even met his parents one weekend, and a few of his friends through the weeks. It was all too perfect until his last week before having to get back to New York came along.
“What’s going to happen when you’re in New York?” Adeline addressed it as they walked in a park together on his last Monday in Montreal, her hand in his. It was late and a little cold, but the darkness was calm.
“I’m not sure,” Tito swallowed heavily, looking straight ahead because there was no good solution. “I just… I want whatever’s best for you,”
“You’re what’s best for me, I don’t want to lose you.” Her hand slipped from his as they stopped walking and turned to face each other.
            Adeline searched his eyes for an answer, but her fears kept growing with every passing moment. The feelings she had for Tito were unlike anything she ever experienced before, and she was terrified of seeing their relationship end. It was the last thing she could ever want, but he had to make the best decision for his career.
“Then I’m yours,” he reached out and grasped both of her hands in his, bringing them up to kiss her knuckles. “I know not everyone can handle long distance but… but we can’t know until we try, right?”
“Right,” she exhaled her relief and squeezed his hands tighter.
“And New York isn’t the other side of the world, we can see each other on weekends,” Tito continued, trying to work things out in his head and reassure her as well as he could.
“Weekends work,” Adeline nodded, biting back a wave of tears, but her eyes watered anyway.
“Baby, please don’t,” he cupped her face with both hands and ran his thumbs over her cheeks while she wrapped her arms around him. “I know work will make it hard for you to travel, but I’ll come up as often as I can, okay?”
“Yeah,” she hid her face into his chest and took a deep breath to calm down. Nothing soothed her better than being close to him.
“We’ll make it work. I promise.” He rocked her gently from side to side in his arms. “I love you too much to ever let you go.”
“I really- I didn’t think it was possible for me to fall in love like that.” Adeline kissed over his heart, making him tighten his arms around her.
“Me neither, and I know it won’t be easy every day, but it’s all going to be worth it, yeah?” Tito tilted her face up so that their noses brushed.
“Loving you makes it all worth it.” She whispered, closing her eyes and falling for him harder with every press of his lips against hers.
.
            The first month was easy.
They had just spent so much time together that it didn’t feel like the distance would ever be an issue, Tito came up to Montreal for three days, and despite all her work Adeline managed to visit one weekend too.
            Sweet attentions helped them push through too, Adeline sent him letters with handwritten poems in them, things he inspired and she thought were worth sharing. Tito sent her flowers and so many loving good morning texts that there was no way she’d ever wake up and start her day without feeling like the luckiest woman in the world.
            Their time together was a little hectic, a mix of dates to spend quality time together and just staying in bed without letting go of each other unless it was for a few hours of sleep in between. The rhythm was tiring, no matter how close New York and Montreal were, travelling was exhausting. It meant waking up early to go to the airport and have enough time to get through security, and it also meant getting home late at the end of the trip with an early morning start right after.
            Still, they were in love and they made it work.
When Christmas came around they felt like they were pros at handling their relationship. Adeline took days off to come spend time in New York so that she could see more of Tito’s world and finally meet Mat, and he came back to Canada for Christmas with his family.
            They didn’t spend the holidays together per say, but they saw each other so often that it felt like they did anyway. Every important moment was spent together, Adeline came over to his house on Christmas morning to open gifts and have lunch with his parents, and Tito spent New Year’s Eve at a party her friends organized. They got to exchange a sickeningly sweet kiss just as the year started and whispered their promise to love each other forever.
            When hockey became a priority again and Tito had to leave, everything felt bittersweet. The moments they had together felt like they were stolen, something they had to work for because nothing fit in their lives unless they forced it to. There was never a weekend when they could both be free unless Adeline managed to figure out a way to get a break from work, and even when she had things to do, Tito still flew up to see her during the moments she had to spare over two days. His games were getting more important, and the team was already dealing with injuries, so he was having a hard time handling everything without letting anyone down.
            Their relationship was strong, but when March rolled around neither of them was truly happy.
“You’re exhausted,” Adeline pointed out something she had been noticing more and more every time he visited. Now, the dark circles under his eyes were visible even through the shitty quality of their call.
“I’m alright,” Tito lied again to stop her from worrying and gave her a weak smile. “You think you’ll be free next weekend?”
“There’s no way you’re travelling again next weekend,” she shook her head, refusing to ask him to put so much effort in again when he clearly needed the rest.
“Well can you come down?” He broke it down to what he thought was simple. If she could move, she’d come visit him. If she couldn’t, he’d come visit her.
“No, I’m stuck this month, I told you,” Adeline sighed and rubbed a hand over her face. Her internship was getting closer to its end and the prospect of a job was real, so she was being drowned in extra work so that she could prove she deserved to stay. As much as she wanted to see Tito to be able to relax in his arms, she knew his training was even more intense than what she had to do.
“Then I’m coming to you,” he insisted again, so Adeline sharpened her tone.
“The hell you are.” She gave him the glare he had received many times before. It was the one that told him ‘I love you but you’re being an idiot,’ and if things were normal, Tito would have laughed and agreed with whatever she wanted.
“So you don’t want to see me now?” He got offended instead, unable to understand why she wouldn’t want him to come. He was doing everything he could to make things work, no matter what.
“Not in that state!” She shot back, feeling tears brimming in her eyes. She was calmer as she spoke her next words. “Tito please, just get some rest… I miss you like hell all the time, but this… it’s not worth it. I’d rather see you a little less and in better shape, okay? We can facetime every night this week or something to make up for it if you want,”
“It’s not the same as holding you,” Tito’s emotions settled too, as defeated as he felt, she was right.
“I know champ, but you’ve got to take care of yourself. Get some rest, okay?”
She made him promise he’d slow down, but Tito didn’t last long. He figured that if he trained extra hard by going to the gym earlier and spent more time on the ice then he’d deserve to spend his days off with her.
Everything was going in the opposite direction of what she asked, but he couldn’t let himself rest if it meant he wouldn’t see her.
“Wake the fuck up!” Anders slammed into him on the ice and sent him stumbling a few feet away. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing,” Tito gritted his teeth, anger clear in his features.
            The captain muttered something under his breath as he skated away, hoping this would be enough to get him to concentrate until the end of the practice at least. It was the third time in a row he missed a pass to Mat, something that almost never happened. The two best friends had chemistry even on the ice, they worked well together, but Anthony was fucking everything up lately and the team wouldn’t take it for much longer.
“Alright,” Anders stood in front of him in the locker room once everyone else was gone and crossed his arms over his chest. “What’s going on?”
“It’s nothing,”
“Beau,” His captain gave him a look. “You’re a good player, but you haven’t played right in two weeks at practice. Thank fuck you’re still alright when we have games, but how long is that gonna last, uh?”
“I’m not going to let the team down.” Anthony promised, and the other man sighed.
“I know you don’t want to, so get your shit together. It’d be a waste to have you sitting on a bench during every game, especially because of some girl,” Anders made his point and watched him get offended, his voice rising as he spoke again.
“Adeline is-”
“I don’t care what Adeline is.” Anders snapped to cut him off. “Adeline is not here, and she’s not worth ruining a career over. If you don’t start showing some proper skills you won’t be playing next time there’s an important game. I need to know I can count on you to be part of the team.”
“You can count on me.” Tito’s jaw was clenched, he was angry, but now was not a good time to lash out. He knew the threat was real, and Anders was probably doing him a favor having this talk with him now rather than letting him get ripped apart by coaches.
“Then start by getting some sleep. You look like shit.” His captain concluded, dropping his arms by his side and walking out of the room, leaving Anthony alone with his thoughts.
.
            Tito tried his best to fix himself over the next week. He got a smile from Anders when things finally went right at practice, and everyone on the team felt relief when they realized they were getting their player back. Everyone thought things were fine except Mat.
            He could see past the fake smiles; he could see the hurt in his friend’s eyes when he came to hang out with the team on Saturday nights instead of flying to Montreal to be with the woman he so desperately loved. It wasn’t healthy.
            Even when Mat tried to start a conversation he got shut out, Tito wasn’t sharing much with anyone anymore. He was the shell of the player and friend he used to be, so lost in his love for Adeline that he didn’t even realize he was forgetting parts of himself.
“Adeline?” Mat eventually ended up on the phone with her, half of his brain screaming this was the stupidest thing to do and the other half saying it was the only solution. He didn’t want to get in his best friend’s business, but he at least needed to know what was going on on her end.
“Yeah, what’s up Mat?” She took a break from the chapter of the novel she was editing and pushed her chair away from her desk.
“I’m just- I’m sorry I’m calling, I know it’s fucked, but Tito isn’t talking to me and I’m wondering if you’ve heard a lot from him the past few days?”
“Yeah, he’s always texting or calling. Did you guys have a fight or something?” Adeline frowned. Not talking to Mat wasn’t normal, ever since she met Tito she’d been hearing all about his best friend and how well they got along. She also would have expected Tito to mention it to her if something happened.
“No, I mean, yeah. Sort of. He’s been playing like shit at practice, so Anders tried to knock some sense into him, and not very kindly,” Mat explained with a sigh, which only made her worry more.
“Oh. What does that have to do with you?” She asked so that she could finally connect the dots, and the response she got was not what she had expected.
“Well Anders said something about how he shouldn’t let some girl fuck up a whole career, and, uh, it was a shitty thing to say, so I tried to put it more nicely, and he didn’t like it.”
“Right,” she looked down at her lap and fiddled with the hem of her skirt. Was that how the team felt about her? Like she was some girl messing with one of their best players? And if so, wasn’t it her responsibility to make sure she didn’t interfere with his career?
“You’re not fucking up anything, it’s not what I meant,” he quickly caught himself. “But Tito’s just… he’s not himself lately. He’s pretending he’s okay but the travelling back and forth is seriously getting to him, he’s not sleeping, he’s just a mess. It’s bad for the team, and he’s my best friend, I’m worried about him,” Mat was quiet as he spoke the end of his sentence, and she was glad he couldn’t see her.
“I just… I’m not sure what I can do about that Mat,” Adeline felt the tears brimming in her eyes, because she knew.
There was only one way to fix this, and she had been avoiding it for weeks already. The day Tito left Montreal they promised each other they’d do anything to make things work, that they’d never stop trying, but was this promise more important than his health?
“Can you try to talk to him, please? Just make him rest for one weekend,” Mat brought her back to earth as he asked, as if that was all Anthony needed. It would be a start, but it was far from enough. He was already staying in New York most of the time, and it was barely helping.
“I keep telling him to stay home,” she reminded him while pressing her palms over her eyes.
“So he’s not listening to you either?” Mat’s heart deflated at that. He knew his best friend was stubborn, but he didn’t think he’d turn away every attempt you all made to get him to take care of himself.
“No… I’d come if I could, but work doesn’t really allow it right now. I’ll try to get him to stay in New York for the next two weeks, hopefully I’ll get somewhere by talking to him,” Adeline promised herself to make more efforts, to give it one more try in case that was all they needed to make things work again.
“Okay,” he fiddled with the hem of his t-shirt, hoping that by the end of those two weeks things would look a bit better.
“Are you thinking of anything else?” She prompted him after he turned quiet, and Mat sighed.
“No, you’re… you were really good for him at the start, you know?” He delved into the part he probably shouldn’t be saying out loud, but he needed her to understand how bad things were. “It made him so happy, and I know you guys are still happy together, but with the way things are right now, he’s messing himself up. Badly. It’s not your fault, I just hope you guys can find a balance that works for you both again.”
“I’ll figure it out, have a nice day Mat,” Adeline put an end to the conversation, and he rubbed his hand over his face as he sighed.
“Yeah, you too.”
.
            When Tito called her less than twenty minutes later, he couldn’t understand why she didn’t want to talk. Adeline declined his call after the second ring and told him she’d call later even though they had planned on talking to each other at that time. Her lack of texts and explanations made him overthink everything, so when Mat and a few other guys showed up to his place an hour later, he wasn’t in the mood to hang out anymore.
“I’m sure she’s fine,” Mat told him when he expressed his concern. “Just have a beer and chill out,”
“You can’t be sure she’s fine,” Tito argued as he grabbed the beer and took three long gulps.
“I talked to her for a bit today, so she’s fine. She’ll probably call you tomorrow, yeah?” Mat let the information slip because he figured it wouldn’t be that big of a deal. Adeline was bound to tell him at some point anyway.
“You talked to her?” Tito frowned, the information not sitting well with him. Mat barely knew Adeline; they hadn’t gotten many chances to hang out because Tito always hogged her attention whenever she was around.
“Uh, yeah,” Mat was suddenly more than uncomfortable. He didn’t want to lie to his friend, but with the way he was reacting he felt like he would have been much better off keeping his mouth shut.
“And now she’s not picking up my calls.” Anthony grew suspicious, and the look on Mat’s face didn’t reassure him in the least. “What the fuck did you say to her?”
“I just told her I’m worried about you, you’re not yourself lately.” He admitted, feeling like being honest was the best option.
Tito didn’t lose his cool easily, but somehow this made him angry.
“Can’t you all stop with that? I’m fine.” He replied harshly, and Mat kept his mouth shut.
He thought for a second looking at the wall ahead of him and nodding. Mat was done fighting, he had offered his help, he was there to listen, but he wasn’t going to sit and let Anthony get mad at him when he was only trying to show he cared.
“Yeah, right.” Mat got up and headed out of the room, abandoning him to his thoughts.
            Tito sighed and checked his phone to distract himself, knowing he had to get out there and apologize in a minute or two. A text from Adeline caught his attention, and his mood lifted instantly.
I’ll be in New York tomorrow
            He almost screamed right there, but he bit his lip and contained his smile instead as he typed back.
For real?? What time am I picking you up?
            He had been feeling so off, he couldn’t wait to hold her. It had been too long since he got to see her and it was hard for him to hide his excitement.
I’ll just meet you at your place
            The response Tito received made his heart deflate. Something was wrong. He always picked her up from the airport, he’d done it every single time, so why shouldn’t he do it tomorrow? Between his conversation with Mat and that, the uneasiness he had felt since the declined call only increased.
“You okay?” Brassard asked as he walked out of the kitchen.
“Sorry, I’m just not in the mood tonight,” he walked past everyone and went straight for his bedroom, closing the door and locking it so no one could come bother him.
            It wasn’t fair to shut his friends out like that, but he couldn’t bring himself to care. Nothing mattered anymore, he was in a constant state of numbness when he was in New York. Playing hockey helped, the games put him in the right mindset, but as soon as he stepped off the ice his world fell apart all over again.
            Adeline was the only thing keeping him together, but she was also the reason he was being torn apart. She had watched it happen too, she saw the way it started, his sudden disinterest for anything that wasn’t hockey or her, the sadness she caused and tried to fix so hard. She thought that with more time together their time apart would be easier, but nothing she did helped Tito work it out. Their relationship had been rushed, they fell in love and their feelings for each other became an obsession, one Anthony couldn’t manage anymore.
            He was only happy when she was with him, but even then parts of himself were missing.
            Mat and the other guys left soon after he disappeared, giving up for the night and deciding they’d try to spend time with him another day. Anthony was too stubborn, there was no point in them staying. He didn’t care about what was going on that night, he couldn’t think of anything except Adeline.
            Just one night of sleep, one day of work and she’d be in his arms.
            Tito was in his head and time flew by, so when he made it home the next night he was constantly checking his phone to know where she was. She texted when she landed, so he was waiting close to the door when he knew she was about to arrive.
            The front door was open before she was even out of the elevator.
“I’m so glad you’re here,” Tito let her walk in and pulled her into a hug to take in the sweet scent of her perfume. His eyes fell shut as he finally felt his body relax. Adeline was the remedy to everything in his life, nothing felt better than having her close.
“Tito,” she pulled away a little as she spoke, trying to put some distance between them.
“Mmh?” He kept his hands on her waist, tugging her against him because he wasn’t ready to part from the hug just yet.
“Anthony, stop,” she pushed on his shoulders and took a step back. “I’m here because I need to talk to you.”
“What’s going on?” Tito frowned at the use of his full name. Deep down, he had known for days that something was coming, but now that he had to face it he didn’t feel prepared enough at all.
            A heaviness settled over the room, the usual playful and happy atmosphere of their reunions nowhere to be found.
“I don’t think we should be doing this anymore.” Adeline said, her hands linked together in front of her.
            The words hung in the air for several seconds. There was an apologetic look in her eyes as she waited for Tito to react, his expression going from shock, to panic, and to confusion all within a few seconds. He had expected her to want to talk, to ask for a break from things at worst.
This was something he had never considered.
“What?” He whispered, unable to form a word any louder than that.
“I know you don’t want to hear it, but you’re not happy like this,” she felt her heart break as he stammered to start a sentence. He looked exhausted, there were dark circles under his eyes, and now his features were twisted in pain.
“Adeline, don’t. You- you don’t know what you’re saying, I’m fine, and-” Tito struggled to say anything coherent, he spoke too fast, but he was scared that if he didn’t say anything she’d vanish.
“You’re not fine. You’re not in the right headspace to train because you’re always thinking of how to get away from New York, you’re not focusing on what should matter to you the most and you’re making yourself sick because you’re not sleeping,” Adeline shook her head, looking down to avoid crying. She couldn’t take the look in his eyes, they used to be so full of joy, but now the blue was dulled by tears that blurred his vision.
“I am sleeping,” he croaked weakly and reached for her.
“That’s not the point!” She stepped back to dodge his touch. She wasn’t strong enough to fight him on this for long, he held too much power over her, she’d cave in no time if she let him touch her. “This was never the point. You were right, not everyone can do long distance and we couldn’t know unless we tried. Now we know, it’s not working out.” She swallowed back her sob and took a shaky breath in to calm down.
“Adeline, please,” Tito shook his head, teardrops rolling down his cheeks already. “No, please,” he didn’t know what else to do but beg.
“I’m sorry,” she looked up. As hard as it was, he deserved at least that, but the broken look in his eyes made her fall apart.
“No! You’re the love of my life, I can’t just let you go,” he refused to go down without a fight, not when she was the only woman he had ever loved. He saw his entire life with her, they could have everything together, and he couldn’t let it go so easily.
“You have to. I’m asking you to.” Adeline wiped her thumbs underneath her eyes to catch her tears. She knew he’d respect her decision, no matter how much he hated it, because he always respected boundaries. She just had to tell him she didn’t want him anymore, and that was the hardest part, having to lie to protect him. “This isn’t healthy for you, and frankly, it’s not healthy for me either. I’m always on my phone, I can barely focus on work because I’m wondering when you’ll be free to call, I’m going to sleep so fucking late every time we call and I just… I just can’t keep doing this any longer knowing it’s hurting you.” She explained, and he used that time to settle his breathing.
“We can work through a rough patch,” his voice was a little raspy, but he pushed through. “I’ll… I’ll stay in New York for longer periods, and we can schedule calls so that it’s not as messy,” Tito brought up every solution he could think of, but she already knew they were pointless.
“You’re making this so hard,” Adeline sniffled quietly, glancing down at her feet again. “I’m sorry, but I’m not changing my mind.”
“So that’s just… it?” He felt like he’d just received a punch to the stomach. Adeline looked up as he took a step back, shaking his head a little and looking completely lost.
“I guess,” she whispered, her lower lip trembling.
“I’m in love with you, isn’t that worth trying a little bit harder?” Tito couldn’t believe the feelings settling inside his chest. He was slowly processing every word she had said, and there were so many things wrong with this conversation. What happened to their promise?
“You think I haven’t tried hard enough? You think I haven’t tried my fucking hardest?” Adeline let the tears flow down her cheeks, and her chest shook with a sob, but she fought to keep her voice steady.
“Well you’re the one giving up now!” He clenched his jaw, sniffling loudly and tugging at his hair in despair. The hurt had kicked in, and he was angry now.
“Because you’re not okay! And I had to find out from your best friend because you keep lying to me and you’re not taking care of yourself!” She raised her voice to his level, and he scoffed, pacing around his living room.
“Mat doesn’t fucking know what I’m doing, if I’m saying I can handle it, then I can handle it!” Tito was sick of everyone around him telling him how to feel and what to do. Focus, train harder, take a break, sleep, travel, don’t travel, call me, don’t call me, spend time with friends, call your family. It was all too much, and he just couldn’t take it anymore.
“Mat just asked me to check up on you, and he was right, you’re not fine, and I’m the reason you keep getting worse. I just can’t do this anymore,” Adeline’s voice softened to hide the way it cracked halfway through, but he caught it anyway.
“Fucking great.” He bit his cheek to stop himself from breaking down. Watching her like this, the woman he loved more than anything in the world, was destroying him. She felt the pain too, and he was causing it.
“You’re angry, and I get it,” Adeline took a deep breath in and dropped her hands by her sides, wondering when he’d snap. She was the one giving up, so she was ready to take it. “I’m so sorry, this isn’t how I pictured things going between us... I’ll just go… I’m really sorry.” She turned around, ready to walk out so that she could break down somewhere he wouldn’t see her.
            It was better if he was mad at her, his anger was much easier to handle than the look he first gave her.
“Adeline wait,” Tito crossed the room in two long strides and wrapped his hand around her arm before she could reach the door.
“What are you-” Adeline turned around to face him and he released her arm to hold her waist instead.
“Just one more.” He murmured with his lips so close to hers she could already feel how soft they were through a brush. “Please, just one last night,”
            He kissed her to stop her from replying, to stop her from thinking rationally, and to fucking beg her to give him this last thing. Adeline wasn’t strong enough to pull away. Instead, she melted into his touch and responded to the kiss with a passion fueled by her heart falling into pieces.
            Just one last time, she told herself as she kept on kissing him, blindly letting him walk back to his bedroom.
            They could taste the saltiness of their tears as they moved their lips together, tangled in each other with her straddling him and her legs around his waist, just like they had been the first night they were together like that. They didn’t exchange any words, kissing and hiding their faces whenever they had to so that they wouldn’t see the other breaking inside.
It was all too much and not enough, so when Tito kept her tight against his chest to lay in bed, Adeline didn’t fight him. She closed her eyes and bit back tears, pretending she wasn’t about to leave so that he would let himself fall asleep.
Tito was safe with her so close, his grip was tight, he wasn’t ever letting her go. It was what he told himself as he drifted off to sleep, telling himself they’d talk in the morning, that he’d find a way to convince her they could still fix things.
.
            Adeline felt like her heart was being torn apart when she crawled out of his arms in the early hours of the morning. She hadn’t slept for a second, but she couldn’t bring herself to get up. For a moment, she even thought she should stay. What if Tito was right? What if he could stay in New York for more time? They could schedule the calls like he said to make things easier.
The idea disappeared from her mind with every moment she spent looking at him, fast asleep in his bed when he used to always wake up whenever she moved. There were dark circles under his eyes, he was exhausted, and she was only making it worse. Leaving was the only way.
Adeline grabbed as much of her things as she could carry and got dressed in the living room as quietly as possible, but with how hard she was crying she was surprised none of her sobs had woken Tito up yet. A few of her things were still in his room, but it was nothing she desperately needed back, and if she woke him up she’d never be able to leave. Still, she couldn’t stop herself from going into his bedroom to look at him one more time.
He was so beautiful when he slept, so peaceful and relaxed. Adeline wished she could see him smile one more time, just to be able to admire the spark in his eyes whenever he did. She knew that if he woke up they’d only be filled with sadness and fear, all because of her, so she took a deep breath and scribbled one last thing on a post it note, placing it on her pillow before leaving his apartment silently.
.
            An hour later the sun was up, and Tito was shaking as he woke up. He sat up immediately to grab the cold bed sheets on her side of the bed. It all felt like a nightmare. The bedroom was silent apart from his heavy breathing, and he turned his light on before looking around for any sign she was still here.
            After they held each other so tightly during the night, the way they loved each other, how could she have left? Tears stung in his eyes as he took notice of everything in his room. Her clothes were gone from the floor, her notebook wasn’t on the nightstand, and he could see his closet cracked open with two empty shelves. Her shelves.
            Tito’s heart tightened in his chest as the reality of the situation hit him. His body was tense but he couldn’t move. His whole world was falling apart, he was completely lost, scrambling for something, anything he could hold onto.
He found it in a single blue post-it note on his pillow, her pretty cursive handwriting recognizable easily.
I’m sorry,
A
.
Please reblog and let me know what you thought!! Writing is a lot of time and effort, I appreciate all comments, asks and reblogs more than you know <3
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beyondconfessor · 3 years
Text
Unsaid Desire
Rating: Mature
Pairing: Missy/Reader
Summary: You've been asked to babysit Missy into being good while the Doctor runs off a quick mission, but she has other ideas once she realises what's pressing through your pants.
Note Before: Crossposted onto AO3
The Doctor had a knack for bad timing. You were on your way downtown for a hot, dirty hook-up with an ex––the kind of hot, dirty hook-ups where she texted “Do you still have that toy? You should wear it when you come and see me.”. So you did because you wanted that kind of filthy sex where you fuck some hot girl in an alley while she digs her nails into your shoulders.
But it was just as you were leaving your house in your best casual date clothes, with a strap packed comfortably in your pants, that the Doctor appeared and began advising you that there was urgent business, yes absolutely, no problem, he’ll get you to this exact moment, if a few minutes later, but you are URGENTLY needed. Right. Now.
Did he mention it was urgent? Because it was URGENT.
An urgent mission…to babysit, so it seemed.
It involved you staying in the TARDIS while the Doctor, Nardole and Bill went out and explored the cool alien town. Because you were to stay here and look after Missy and ensure she Did Not Get Up To Anything (though you knew that if Missy wanted to get up to anything, you wouldn’t be able to actually stop her. You wouldn’t even tattle on her because, honestly, you liked your insides to remain in the insides of your body more than you feared the Doctor).
So, there you were. In the TARDIS console room, packing for a hot date, watching as Missy bent over the console to adjust the TARDIS monitor that the Doctor had set up for her to watch as he, Bill and Nardole did Good Things.
Unfortunately, the camera the Doctor had on the lapel of his jacket was jerky and prone to cutting out, however, which meant Missy was often fiddling with the TARDIS to fix it, because, as she had told you, that was far more interesting than you were.
You shifted in your seat, arms crossed, sinking in on yourself.
Usually, you were up for whatever the Doctor said, but you had had a hot date and were now being told you couldn’t step out to the new planet, so your mood was a burning mix of frustration and arousal.
“Grumpy today,” Missy said.
You looked up at her, and then glanced away, ignoring the way her skirts shifted around her ankles as she fiddled with the console. “I had somewhere else to be.”
To that, she paused. “And what’s more fascinating than being in an alien craft? Don’t you humans get all gooey being in something so far beyond your capabilities to understand? I mean, it’s bigger on the inside! How can it be?” She mocked, eyes going wide as she posed, waiting for your response.
You ignored her, choosing to stare at the wall instead.
Missy’s heels clicked, edging closer. It made you want to pull back. There was something about the way her perfume washed over you that made you want to bury your nose in her throat and inhale deeply.
“Something the matter, poppet?”
“No,” you responded flatly.
You had an awful feeling that she knew where your thoughts were when you looked at her. There were times when you thought the filthiest things (just briefly!) and watched as her head tilted to you, a slow smile pooling over her lips before she turned away.
It could be a coincidence. You wanted it to be a coincidence. But you suspected otherwise.
“It’s just us girls, here,” she said. “You can tell me anything.”
You looked at her, and for a moment wondered what she would do if you said what was actually on your mind. Given her disgust about humans need to “constantly breed” you doubted it’d be anything nice (not that that bothered you. Her snarking commentary was nearly as good as how you imagined she sounded when you pressed her to a surface and sucked on her neck).
You exhaled, pushing the thoughts away. “There’s nothing to say. Shouldn’t you be watching the Doctor?”
She scoffed. “Because he’s going to quiz me later?” You paused, holding your tongue and her eyes narrowed. “How original of him. Well, I’m sure that watching him negotiate with a bunch of plants will certainly be the missing thing for this rehabilitation he’s going on about.”
“I think he’s trying to play to your fear of failing.”
“I don’t have a fear of failing,” Missy said, and there she gave a strange look. “If you’re afraid to fail, then you make mistakes. Sometimes the most frightening thing can be succeeding.” She turned, looking back to the video. It seemed to only be Bill and Nardol talking at the markets––even you felt your mind haze in disinterest, despite the alien culture.
You turned away, thinking about the hot date, about the way your pants pressed between your thighs. About how you kept wanting to ask the doctor about the future of sex toys but always seemed to shy away from it at the last moment because it felt like asking your dad.
By some point in the future, on some planet, they must have developed a strap the wearer could feel, right?
Missy was leaning over the console again and all you could think about was pulling those skirts up over her waist.
Un-fucking-fair for the Doctor to pull you away from a hot date. It’d been months since you’d had your tongue in another woman. You were nearly climbing the walls and half prepared to shag the first girl you could get your hands on and had you not cared for your friendship with Bill more than your own needs, you might have tried something there.
But you cared for Bill’s feelings. Or, you were pretty certain she wasn’t interested in you anyway and it was easier to simplify it that way.
“Come here,” Missy said. You looked at her and watched as she made an exacerbated look at you. “Well, I’m not going to bite you.”
Pity.
“Unless you ask first, of course.”
You swallowed, squeezing your jaw to prevent yourself from saying anything stupid as you walked over and stood beside her.
“What do you want?”
“I need you to move that,” she said, pointing to a nozzle out of her reach. “And then hold that while I do something marvellous but utterly incomprehensible to your tiny mind.”
“Why?”
“Because the picture’s fuzzy and in case you haven’t noticed, we can’t hear,” she snapped the last bit and you stepped forward, moving to where she asked you to stand. “Turn that twice, and hold that red button while I…do this,” she said. And you watched as she flicked through a few buttons, flicking switches, turning other things, and then she did something you didn’t expect.
She pressed between you and the console, reaching to touch something to your far right, as her arse wiggled against your front to squeeze between, you watched as she tensed and then suddenly pressed firmer to you.
The room felt hot and muggy all at once.
“Last I knew, human biology being changed in your decade requires quite an extensive surgery, and you don’t have the smell of someone who's had surgery.”
You swallowed, pulling back, but still holding the dial. “I didn’t plan to be here tonight. I was meant to be somewhere else,” you explained, before biting down on your dark. Your face was hot and you just wanted this to be over as fast as possible.
Missy turned to look over her shoulder, her smile going wide as she moved back, pushing against you. “And you were all prepped for your…paramour was it?”
The flush burned across your cheeks. “We don’t need to discuss it.”
“Oh, but I think we should. Is it an earthen one, or have you made your way to Sirius Sixty-Nine yet?”
“Sirius…sixty-nine?”
“It’s…think of it like an extensive alien sex shop that takes up the size of a planetoid. Named by humans, of course. But we can go there if you’re curious. The Doctor won’t even notice,” she was purring her words by the end of it and you could feel her slight wiggle as she pressed firmer against you. “I bet that human biological need to breed has you desperate to feel what it’s like to penetrate someone.”
“I can penetrate plenty with my hands,” you said as if you hadn’t just been thinking about what it felt like to have a cock.
Missy turned on her heel so her back was to the TARDIS console and her front pressed against you. All at once she’d propped herself up on the console and wrapped her legs around your waist, tugging you close. There was a heartbeat pause at that, as you felt your jeans press to her, knowing where it was pressing. “It’s different,” she said. “When you penetrate someone with a cock, when you feel that person squeeze around you. It’s different to your hands. Especially if your hands are…” and there she paused, grabbing yours and tugging them down, to wrap around her sides, below her breasts. “Occupied,” she finished with a sharp look, daring you to move them.
You swallowed, thumb tracing over the material of her blouse, feeling the corset bones underneath your hands. “Missy.”
“Don’t you want to feel me?”
“Don’t tease me. This isn’t fair.”
“Who said anything about teasing?” She asked, holding your gaze steady. “You don’t know what I want.”
“You don’t want this. You’re always making fun of…” you wanted to tug away, but her legs were firm around your waist, her hands deceptively strong around your wrists. “I didn’t think…you’d like that sort of thing.”
“What? That I don’t care for the simplest bodily pleasure? I’m not immune to desire. Now tell me, shall I go and find some other way to busy myself while the Doctor is off doing good? Or can I count on you to follow through with those nasty thoughts you’ve been having of me?”
“You…” and you trailed off, because the correct response, from the Doctor, would be to ensure she paid attention to what he was doing.
But Missy’s eyes were so blue, and her mouth was parted, her chin lifted up to look at you, causing the curve of her neck to become more apparent. You wanted to trail your mouth down that curve, to kiss her skin and tug the clothes from her body. You wanted to taste her and feel her, and––
You should have been worried that she confirmed your very fear of telepathy, but you could feel the corset moving with every breath of hers, watching her breath grow slow and heavy, her face tilted, waiting, watching you with curiosity.
“What do you want?” You asked her sincerely.
She scoffed, tugging your hands away. “If you can’t figure that out––“
There you stopped her, grabbing her and pressed her back to the TARDIS console just as she attempted to wriggle out from between you. “I said…” you repeated, slow, firmly to her as you held her still. “What do you want?”
She paused then, and a slow smile pulled over her lips. “How direct,” she teased, rolling her ‘r’s. “I want you on your knees.”
You sunk to your knees and it was all the permission you needed as your hands lifted up her skirts. Your heart thudded in your chest, waiting for the moment she’d laugh, or scoff or just pull a weapon from thin air and shoot you dead.
But she didn’t. Her eyes remained steady on you, watching as you kissed above her ankle where her heeled boot ended, trailing over her calves, her knees and thighs as the skirt was pushed up high, around her waist.
“Do time ladies often go without their knickers?” You asked.
“Skirts like this make them seem redundant,” she said, but there was a knowing look in her eyes, and you felt as if she was reading your thoughts.
No, you knew she was.
Her grin widened. “Perhaps I planned this,” she responded, echoing your own thoughts. “Manipulated the Doctor to get you alone in here with me.”
You paused, holding her gaze steady, watching for any changes to her expression as you kissed across her thigh, your mouth pressing against the crease where her thigh met her hip. Her expression softened, and there you were familiar with the look of desire.
“Are you lonely?” You asked her, “Or only looking for relief.” It was a sincere inquiry. You wanted to know what she wanted.
Her expression sharpened. “You’re a smart girl,” she teased. “Get started and I’m sure you can extrapolate from there.”
You obeyed.
It was easy to feel your mind soften, your thoughts quieten as you kissed over the pelvic bone, across the dark curls. Your hands drew up her thighs and there, with your hands on her hips, you felt her stomach tighten, intaking a breath as your mouth pressed over the slick folds, tongue sliding against the labia to taste the arousal.
Time Ladies, you found, tasted similar to the women you’d been with. There was a softer taste, muted sweetness, but it was still familiar. You stroked the flat over her vulva, before your tongue curled over her clit, testing what she liked––going from firm to soft, fast to slow, tracing different movements as you listened to her breath hitch, her thighs clench and relax around you.
Missy seemed to let you indulge in tasting her, of feeling her breath intake and muscles squeeze, before her hand curled in your hair and tugged you back.
“That’s enough of that, now.”
“Is it?” For a moment you hesitated over if you hadn’t done the right thing, and then her head tilted, her expression softening.
“We’ve limited time, and I’d rather this move to the next step,” she said, so matter of factly you wondered if you were a masturbatory tool to her. And then you wondered if that mattered at all.
You rose to your feet and tugged her thighs apart just as she pulled you close, undoing the zip of your pants, reaching out to pull out the dildo from the depths of your pants. And God, what’d you give to feel that hand curl around you, to feel her stroke it.
“You’re going to be fast about this,” she told you, “and if you’re a very good girl and do this right, I might just break out of my cell and find you again should I ever get the itch.”
“Because I’m going to be at your beck and call?”
“You will,” she said and then she pulled you closer, sliding the toy inside of her so sharply you found yourself gasping.
Well, you’d wanted something quick and dirty. Hand under her thighs, you pulled back and thrust inside of her, watching as her eyes fluttered, her back arching. Each thrust had her melting away, to wherever she wanted to be in her thoughts, mouth parted, a soft sigh on her lips as she rocked against you.
For a moment you were uncertain as to what you should be doing if you should move softly for her––as you usually would for the first time.
But this was Missy. If she wanted soft, she would have made some sardonic comment to the effect. Instead, she was drifting off to whatever bliss she wanted. You knew she was squeezing around the shaft as you thrust inside of her, muscles clenching, and for a moment you could…almost…imagine…
“Your thoughts are awfully busy,” Missy said. “Lamenting over the fact you can’t feel what it’s like inside of me?”
You didn’t respond, glaring at her.
“Oh, don’t be like that,” she said, arching, breath itching. “I can give you taste.”
And before you could agree, her hand had snatched at yours, pulling it to her mouth where she placed two fingers over her tongue. Your pace slowed for a moment as you felt her tongue wrap over your fingers, curling as she sucked, drawing your fingers down her tongue and then back.
Her lips pressed over the length of them and oh, God, you felt like you could come from this alone.
And then your fingers were out of her mouth with a soft pop as you dropped them wetly against the console, breathing hard.
“Get back to doing your job,” she said to you, like a teacher giving a sharp warning to put your head down back on your own work.
You swallowed, curling back in your confidence, trying to remember to thrust in her in an even speed––but her hand curled in your hair, tugging so your attention was brought to the brilliant, blue eyes and snarl on her lips. “If you’re not going to do this right, what good are you?”
You glared at her, shoving her back against the console as your hands gripped at her thighs, thrusting back in her. How dare she turn you on like that, and have the audacity to act like––like––
She moaned softly, and then her hand had grabbed yours, leading you to grasp at her hair. You blinked at her before fisting it tight, pulling her head back so her neck was elongated and exposed. Your breath came out in a pant as you leant forward against the flesh of her neck, your teeth dragging over her pulse.
“Yes,” she hissed. “All those years of evolution, and you’re still no better than a dog in heat.”
You bit down, sucking and felt her rock hard against you, a sound reverberating through the air and you didn’t know if it was your enjoyment or hers.
You could feel her thighs tensing, her hips shuddering as nails dug deep into your shoulders, pulling you tight.
And there, in a hot breath against your ear, you heard her exhale in relief before she shoved you backwards from her, sending you with a swift kick to hit the side of the TARDIS.
You panted, pants slipping down your thighs as Missy dropped off the console, onto the mesh ground as she adjusted her skirts and wiped at her neck and mouth, cleaning the evidence of you from her. Her eyes turned to you, and then a sharp smirk formed, before it faded, as her nose wrinkled, looking you up and down. “You can leave.”
“Leave?”
She turned away, adjusting the monitor to look back at the Doctor’s screen, fixing it so at last sound came out before she waved you off. “Off you pop. Go and light a cigarette, or whatever you humans do.”
You bared your teeth, shoving the toy back in your pants and doing it up. The slickness of the toy didn’t escape you, and a longing pulse throbbed in your clit. But your job was done. Well, fuck her then. Thank fuck that was over.
Or so you thought.
As it was, you cleaned up, you sat back in your spot and it was barely another hour passing before the Doctor returned and dropped you back home (a day late, thank’s doc.)
After receiving the half-dozen texts from your ex going from confused to angry, burning a bridge that probably should have remained burnt in the first place, you laid in bed at night, thinking about the exchange, wondering what you would do if Missy turned up.
Tell her to fuck off, maybe.
Unlikely.
You’d bring her inside, undress her off that skirt and pull her onto your face because since those many hours ago, you couldn’t help but think about her grinding on your face.
44 notes · View notes
sabraeal · 3 years
Text
Not Necessarily a Virtue
[Read on AO3]
Obiyuki AU Bingo 2021 Practical Magic AU
There hadn’t been a plan when Obi picked up the phone.
All it had taken was one rogue text-- another case assigned to his social worker, one that was enough of an emergency that it his behavioral issues seem tame in comparison. Her chair rattles when she stans, its plastic back hitting the filing cabinets with a metallic tang, but her hands tremble more.
“This will be just a minute,” she says, smile plastered tight to her face. And then she leaves him there alone, his file open on her desk, flaws left out for the world to see.
It doesn’t bothered him. There’s no point, not when he already knows: he’s trouble with a capital-T, each failed family drawing him closer and closer to being unplaceable. Some people have a face only a mother could love, but Obi-- Obi has that for his personality. Though considering how each of his six almost-moms signed him away with a sigh of relief, walking out the plate glass doors without even a glance back, maybe he has the sort of personality that makes people reconsider whether they could be a mother.
So here he is again, freshly abandoned, back in the sterile halls of social services for the seventh time without a place to call home. He’s not even twelve.
Not that these people aren’t trying to change that-- he’s not some cat left at the shelter, free to a good home. Unless Kerry or Janine or the girl at the desk he didn’t get to read the name tag of wanted to sleep on their couch, they have to find someone to take him for the night. And he knows from experience, there’s always a family that believes they can change him. A young couple who thought all problem children needed was just a little extra love. By the time Kerry came back, there’d be good news waiting, a miracle crafted by three people who didn’t want to miss the Masked Singer finale. They’d pack him into the back of a car and ship him off to a new place to fail. Because no matter how many homes they tried to make for him, it’d never change how he felt.
Obi had tried, at first. He was just a little kid, wanting to be loved, but every home he went to itched like hives in his head, a constant buzz that set his teeth on edge and made him do anything, try anything to leave. He belonged somewhere else, somewhere not here, and he knew it like he knew Kerry’s other case had overdosed on a bottle of sleeping pills in his foster mother’s cabinet-- with an inexplicable certainty.
He waits thirty seconds after she leaves before he slides off the the plastic seat she’d put him in. They love these things, oddly shaped and in primary colors that make the little kids giddy, but Obi hates them. He’s undersized, and putting him in these kiddie rooms always makes people treat him like he’s eight instead of eleven, asking him about Blue’s Clues.
But that’s not why he gets up, not entirely. There’s a buzzing in the back of his brain, a knowing, and it makes him stand, his hand straying to the glass door. He can’t see anything outside, at least not anything besides more kiddie chairs and offices, but he steps out nonetheless. He steps out and, unerringly, turns to face the girl waiting for him down the hall.
“It’s you.” Her tawny hair stresses the elastic she’s trapped it in, too thick. It’s not one of those hair ones either, but one of those thick rubber bands they use on the produce in grocery store. It hurts; he knows because it’s common sense, but also because he just...Knows. Their eyes meet, and even though he doesn’t her name, they’ve known each other forever.
His mouth is dry when he asks, “Do you know me?”
“I saw you in a dream.” She takes a step toward him, her sneakers scuffed and worn, just like his. “You’re Obi. I’m Torou.”
He doesn’t know this girl. There’s a hundred ways she could get his name; one of them is sitting on a desk behind him right now. But when she looks up at him with eyes he’s only ever seen in the mirror, he holds out his hand. “Come here.”
His heart pounds with each mincing squeak of her sneakers on the tile. She’s taking too long and she’s coming too fast; each terrible second convinces him he’s making a mistake at the same time he’s doing what he was always meant to do. By the time she slips her hand into his, he’s trembling, but it doesn’t matter because they both are and this--
This is right. And he knows exactly what to do.
It’s holding her hand that he picks up the phone. He fucks it up the first time-- he gets that gross digital buzz before he notices the sticker beneath the speaker, informing him 9 dials out-- but the second one his fingers guide him, releasing the number he has no reason to know. A number he has no reason to believe will work, that could have just come from the weird recesses of his mind but--
But he’s not surprised when a man picks up. “Who is this? Do you know what time--?”
“We’re here,” Obi says, and it shouldn’t be enough, but it is. “Come pick us up.”
A specter arrives on the front walk at noon.
Obi knows by the hush in the office. Or really the weight of it-- it’s been quiet like this since last night, since he and Torou sat down on the big bean bag couch in the waiting room, and Obi announced they wouldn’t be letting go. His case worker had crouched in front of them, that sweet smile plastered to her lips, and told him that they’d only have to be separated for a night. But he’d known-- the way he always did-- that every word was a lie. His fingers tightened in her grip, narrowing his eyes until the woman shivered, and that was that.
Kerry stayed with them, of course; she’d slept in her office, under a blanket it’s clear she’s never used and had only just discovered wasn’t comfortable no matter how many Sesame Street characters were on it. They’d been tucked under another by a younger girl with trembling hands, her eyes darting between them as she smoothed out its edges. He’d heard them through the walls this morning while the rest of the office filtered in-- government buildings like this were always cutting corners, leaving things like this paper thin, stuff that would go up like tissue in a fire.
Do you think they’re twins? one asked. Trembling hands, he guesses, since her voice does as well, like a chihuahua in a sweater. I’ve heard about this happening with twins. They look and just know.
Can’t be, we have their birth certificates, says another. Kerry, probably; she might be a liar, but she’s one of the only people in this place that has her head screwed on right, too. Two different sets of parents.
And the man they called last night? This one is stern; their manager maybe. He’s not really sure how this all works; he’s not even twelve, and he can only just know so much. Who is he?
There’s a heavy pause. I...I don’t know.
So when he arrives, dressed like an undertaker and holding an umbrella beneath the bright New Mexico sky, the whole place goes quiet. When he walks it’s stiff, like it took a hundred volts to get him up off the table and he’s only just gotten used to the idea. Obi casts a look down at Torou, at where her hand is white knuckled in his, and thinks about how he knows things, and wonders just what she might be able to do.
The man enters, umbrella folding in a single neat motion, before he says. “I am Lata Forenzo. I believe you have my...niblings.”
Niblings, Obi learns, is like siblings, only sideways.
“It was a simplification,” Lata says, his voice a deep, hesitant gravel. He casts a speculative look at the taxi driver, adjusting the gloves on his hands. “Niece and nephew is an unwieldy phrase, and time, after all, is of the essence.”
“Is it?” Torou’s eyes are wide, and for the first time since last night, her hand leaves his, gripping on to the cloth at Lata’s knee. “Is there something after us? Those bugs, they’re not--”
“No.” Obi’s known his uncle for barely more than a half hour, but he knows he isn’t a tactile person. Even still, Lata looks down at Torou, his not-gold eyes somehow softer, and puts two fingers over the bones at the back of her hand. “But it is time to bring you home.”
Home is an island. It takes the whole night to fly in, and when they land the sun is just barely scratching the sky. Even still, there’s no stopping; Lata bundles them straight into a cab, shushing them before they can make much more than a peep.
“We’ll be home soon,” he says, and the next time he wakes them, salt stings Obi’s nose, and he’s being carried over a threshold.
“Are we here?” he slurs. The house is weird-- angular, really, with a hall so narrow he could kick out a leg and stop them up like a cork. He nearly does, just to be cussed, but he catches Torou still wrapped up in her blanket, lolling on the couch, and says instead, “Can you let me down?”
Lata hesitates, fingers stiff where they wrap around his knees and shoulders, but he nods.
Obi’s feet-- just wearing socks now, somehow-- press on the floor, and he knows: he’s home.
“Oh,” he breathes, hands flying out to steady himself. “Oh.”
When he looks up, Torou’s eyes meet his, round and wide. “I felt that.”
Her own feet swing down-- bare-- and the moment she touches the wide old planks--
“Oh.” Lata braces himself against the wall, the sound bitter on his lips. “So it’s true. There will always be two.”
They aren’t his words, Obi knows, but they’re important. They’ve got that feel, the same as when Torou said she dreamed of him. The sort that are going to be life-changing, one way or another.
But Obi’s had enough of that today. Enough of it for a lifetime. He glances over at Torou, and she nods. “Can we go outside?”
Lata blinks, eyes pulling from the wallpaper to fix on him. After a long moment, he says, “You know where the door is.”
Obi does, somehow, and when he opens it--
It’s paradise.
Home has rules too, loads of them. It’s quiet time from nine to eight, though Lata doesn’t much care if they’re sleeping, so long as they’re in bed. Teeth have to be brushed twice a day-- he’d glowered when Obi said he had good teeth and only needed the once, standing over him for a week morning and night to see the rule stuck. There’s only one dessert after dinner; Obi balked at that one, until he’d learned that a limit on quantity wasn’t the same thing as size. He and Torou find three old sundae dishes in the cabinet and pile them high with ice cream and every topping they can find, and when they slap Lata’s down in front of him, cheeks bulging with their own towers of sweets, all he’d does is give them that small, reluctant twitch of a smile and dig in.
They have to make their beds and pick up after themselves-- this house has treated us well, Lata tells them, it’s only right we take care of it in return-- and they have to tell him if they plan to play in the yard; but in return their sheets are always clean, and dinner’s promptly at six. When they come back in, sweaty and exhausted from the summer heat, there’s always a bowl of fruit waiting for them and cold drinks.
He’d known, in the way he always does, that this couldn’t last. So when summer’s heat began to cool, he’s not surprised to see Lata waiting on for them on the veranda, mouth pulled into an even grimmer line.
“It’s time,” he says, “for a Family Meeting.”
“School,” Lata says with the sort of relish and derision only a professor like him can summon up, “is starting. Which means there are new rules.”
Fingers brush at Obi’s, and when he reaches out, Torou’s fingers knit in his. He knows what rules these will be-- his parents had them to, the only ones they’d ever made. His mother had gotten down on her knees the night before kindergarten, nails digging into his shoulders, and used a voice so dark, so unlike her, he’d dreamed of button eyes staring into his for a week. His father had tossed out their Coraline DVD after that.
“Forenzos,” Lata starts, already sounding weary, “look after each other. So you’ll walk together, both ways, and if one of you gets into trouble--” he fixes them both with a stern look-- “I expect both of you to run.”
Obi stares. “What?”
“You’ll come back right after school, unless we have previously discussed plans,” Lata continues. “You’re far too young for...cellular phones, so I expect that if you make plans with friends, you will discuss them with me the night previous, or you will come home first and ask permission. Not,” he murmurs, just barely audible, “that I expect you’ll have much trouble with that.”
“Is that...” Obi’s jaw works. “Is that all?”
“I expect you to keep up your grades.” Lata’s brow furrows, taking them in, as if he’d never once questioned whether or not they would be stellar students. As if most people don’t look at the both of them and see future high school flunk outs. “If they are slipping, I’m afraid I’ll have to limit your free time until we are able to bring them back to an acceptable level. Homework is to be done at the table, and once you are done, your time is yours until dinner.”
Torou’s hand squeezes his. “We?”
Lata blinks. “Excuse me?”
“You said ‘we.’“ She clear her throat, eyelashes fluttering with nerves. “If our grades are bad, you said we would, uh, fix them.”
“Of course.” His mouth pulls at the corners, annoyed. “How could I possibly ask you to rectify such a thing on your own? You’re already doing the best you can, if you still struggle, then it’s clearly something we both-- oh my,” he murmurs mildly, “she’s leaking.”
“Sorry,” she sobs, pink burning on her cheeks, the way it never did on his. “I’m sorry.”
“No, no.” Lata flails out, yanking a tissue from the box, shoving it into her hand. “I just...hope that you find this all fair. I was always quite good at school, but my sisters--” he glances at them, wary-- “varied. I hope I can only...encourage you to your best.”
“But what about...” Obi snaps his teeth around the words. If he doesn’t ask, then it won’t become a rule, and his uncle can’t be disappointed when he breaks it.
The pictures on the wall prove that they’re family, that Lata truly is his mom’s brother, even if they don’t share much more than a hair color. But Obi’s never seen it, the way he does in pictures of Torou’s mom, where there’s a flick of the hand or a cock of a hip that says they spent their childhood together, inextricably intertwined forever in ways they would never understand.
But Lata raises a brow now, and he sees it, that small thread that ties him to his mom, that says brother. “About...?”
“The other stuff,” Torou blurts out, coughing down a sniff. “He wants to know what we...”
Her words peter out too, like she can’t figure out what to do with them. He can’t stop knowing, and she can’t stop dreaming, and the thought of having to pretend they can is...tiring this time, in a way it never was in the system.
His mouth wraps around the words with a curious sort of wonder. “Other stuff?” 
“You know,” she mutters, so small. “The weird stuff.”
Lata jolts in his chair, spine as straight as a poker. His hands press flat against his knees, and when he looks at them, the gray in his eyes in thunderous.
“This is the most important rule,” he tells them, voice oddly resonant, “you must follow it. Promise me.”
Obi’s heart sinks into his stomach, but he nods, fingers squeezing Torou’s tighter.
Lata’s hand presses heavy on his shoulder, leather flexing over cotton. “Don’t ever hide yourselves. Not for anything. Not for anyone.” Obi dares to look up, and Lata’s gaze is waiting to catch him. “Being...normal is not necessarily a virtue. There is no shame in being who you are, none at all.”
Or what you are, he doesn’t say, but his eyes do, loud and clear. He doesn’t say what that is either, but--
Obi knows. Just like he always does.
And if he didn’t, well-- he would have found out soon enough.
It’s a small island; small enough that K-12 are all squeezed into one school, though Lata tells them that by the time they go to senior high, they might have built another. It’s still not small enough for Torou and him to be in the same class, so he drops her off at the door with promises to find her at lunch and moseys down to his own. It puts him a little behind schedule, the school bell ringing on his heels, and when he steps in--
The room goes silent. Twenty pairs of eyes stare at him, round and wide, not a single person daring to do much more than breathe.
“Forenzo,” the teacher says, faint. “You must be...the Forenzo boy.”
“Yeah.” He grips at his shoulder. “Obi.”
“You can take your seat...at the back,” she says, before hurrying to the board, eager to put her back to him.
“I thought my mom said all the Forenzos died,” a boy whispers as he passes. “Except the old man, of course.”
“No, they just left,” says the one next to them. “Chased out. Because they’re, you know...”
Obi does; he always had, even before he had a word for it.
“I don’t think a boy can be a witch,” a girl says, thoughtless and thoughtful at the same time. “They’re wizards, or something.”
“Warlocks,” scoffs another. “Don’t you know anything? And they do blood magic with little girls--”
Obi grits his teeth, eyes forward. There’s two empty chairs in the back, one in the corner by the window, and the other next to it, and he steers toward that one-- window seats always get him in trouble--
And the boy next to it scoots away, fear bright in his eyes. Obi looks back at the teacher, but she’s writing her name on the board real slow, like she’s hoping this might solve itself.
Fine, he can take a hint. He takes the window, sliding in behind the desk. The girl in front of him scoots forward too, making sure her chair doesn’t touch his desktop, and he sighs. At least they’re all getting this out of the way first.
A bag drops, right next to his seat.
“Ms Kino!” There’s a girl there, smaller than everyone else, though her voice makes her twice as tall. In the morning sun, her hair burns bright like the horizon. “Can I change my seat?”
“Shirayuki?” The teacher blinks back at them, and Obi could swear she breaks into a cold sweat. “Shirayuki, I’m not sure that’s--”
“I can’t see the board from over there,” she says, every syllable digging in its heels. “There’s glare. Because I’m so small.”
Ms Kino squints back at her, and really-- there’s no denying how small she is, at least a head below Obi and he’s nothing to write home about either. “If you’re sure...”
“Great.” She drops into her seat with a thump as loud as thunder, setting out her notebook and pencil with the sort of purposeful efficiency that says there’s no doubt she’s here to stay.
Obi slips his out of his backpack too, so quiet so the other kids will stop looking at him like he’s going to set the place on fire, but he hears, “You’re new, right?”
He looks down, and there’s the girl, smiling across the aisle. “Yeah. I’m--”
“Obi, I heard.” She leans toward him. “I’m--”
“Shirayuki.” His mouth twitches. “I also heard.”
Her smile stretches towards a grin. “You know, Ms Kino likes group projects.”
He blinks. “Does she?”
She nods. “Would you like a partner?”
“She hasn’t assigned one yet,” he says, a little lost.
“She will,” this Shirayuki says, confident. The way he is, when he knows.
He nods, slow. “All right, so for the next one.”
“To start.” She fixes him with a look he can’t get out from under. “Are you eating lunch with someone?”
“Ah, yeah.” He feels guilty about it now, for some reason. “My um. Cousin.”
She brightens. “Great. I’ll show you guys the best place to sit.”
He’s been adopted, he realizes, like the way the cats around the house aren’t. And this girl means to keep him.
For once in his very short life, Obi doesn’t mind knowing. Just like he always does.
27 notes · View notes
gyllousos · 3 years
Text
Warnings: Depression, masochists, language.
Copyright @ gyllousos 2021. All rights reserved.
Dedicated to @the-grimm-writer
_________________________________________
Hannya despised hospitals. She hated the smell of disinfectant, the plain white walls decorated with awareness for the human body, as well as the chairs in the waiting room. Not that the one she was sitting in was uncomfortable, yet her ass felt like a pin cushion since she'd been in the thing for well over an hour and counting. Just ten minutes ago she had gone to the vending machine for a soda, downing the Sprite in one gulp.
She was still staring into the empty soda can as though it would refill with more of the carbonated beverage. Her thumb pressed into the side, crinkling the corner. Above her a TV played an old show, something about two children using their imagination to escape into a new world.
One where they forgot about all the bad stuff, even for a moment, a paradise for two. A haven. Thinking about that made a lump swell in Hannya's throat. She set her can onto a nearby table, curling her hands into her lap. A nail dug into the fabric of her leggings, she winced at the bruise there. It was still throbbing a week later, still sore. Her back arched from the cut diagonal cut, also a week old, but it didn't pulse like the thigh bruise did.
Her old cuts and bruises hurt most days, even though half of them were healed for weeks, despite their ugliness in the beginnings. She used to never recognize herself in the mirror after they fucked. Not screwed, but fucked until she lay beneath him unable to move, a quivering mess of orgasm.
God. She was truly sick.
She inhaled slowly through her nose. Hannya refused to cry in this place. One of the nurses had been looking at her so often, a pitying look in her eyes. Hannya avoided eye contact.
She knew that nurse too well, she'd nearly made a home here. But that was long ago. And the nurse, a petite brunette with gentle doe eyes was always so kind to her.
Vague flashes of Hannya in a room where she was monitored, wearing a gown, and counting the hours on the clock to her meds. No, she wasn't going down memory lane again.
What if she broke again? But not because of him.
Dabi.
ㅤHe twisted the fabric of her shirt, bunching tightly. There were tearing sounds. Fraying sounds. Dragging her to within inches of his leering, predatory smile.
ㅤHer shirt came away in a ribbon, leaving her in unkempt, scant rags. He sneered, pinching a nipple as her pert little breasts jiggled free. Dabi tweaked the nipple, and swatted her breast with an open-palmed slap.
Hannya let out a cry between a gasp and a moan.
Dabi clenched his fist around her throat, thrust his arm so she was pinned to the wall behind her. One hand constricted the air from her lungs, while the other twisted cruelly on the same nipple from before.
"Scared yet?"
"No."
ㅤㅤ"No need to lie."
ㅤHis other hand slipped low, her breast freed from his cruel touch only for his hot breath to caress it. Dabi sank teeth into her its supple flesh, snakelike tongue uncoiled to writhe slick against the nipple. His loose fingers delved between her thighs, groping a handful of her warm, tender sex.
ㅤHe didn’t need her to black out from the choking, but it was designed so that every throb of pleasure he squeezed into her body lightened her head. A cruel, sadistic practice to strangle every last drop of ecstasy, to send her spirit into heaven but her body to hell.
Dabi's fingers were long and defined, two sunken deep into the supple heat of her cunt. His pace, merciless. The villain ground the heel of his wrist firmly against her clit, assaulting every inch. He worked in and out of her with aggressive vigor, stirring up loud, sloppy noises from her.
She felt him adjust, she bit her lip from the harsh penetration when he slammed himself into her, those haunting blue eyes never leaving her face.
"You're mine, Hannya."
"I'm yours."
"If another man looks at you the way I look at you, or even thinks about fucking you, I'll split his goddamn skull."
Hannya snapped back to reality at the alert of her name being called. She remembered now that she had been called into the exam room for tests. The gown felt paper thin on her, exposing her to the nurse who held her clipboard in hand.
She hadn't commented on the palm bruise on her thigh or the cut on her back. Hannya was almost relieved her skin was back to semi-normal. It had been a long time since she last been here. How long ago?
Three years since her last attempt.
"You're doing well Hannya, much better since your last visit with us. You've been keeping up with all of your appointments, last time you were hear you had bad anemia and an infection. You bounced back like a champ. "
Hannya smiled faintly. The plump old woman reminded her of a doting grandma.
"Your appetite back to normal?"
"Yes ma'm. Everything is good."
She tried best to hide the clip in her speech.
"Now that we're following up, I'd like to wait for the rest of your test results to come in."
Hannya hid her impatience, wishing time would go forward, she could grab her things and leave. Back to her home where she could close off the world. Block everyone out. Would Dabi be waiting for her? For once, she didn't want to see him. As much as their sadistic games were fun time both of them, she just didn't have the desire. No other man could get her off the way Dabi did.
Lately, she dreaded seeing him propped in her couch, or getting a text from him. She could damn near feel him without him being near. A moment later, when the same woman poked her head in, Hannya actually beamed.
The door closed behind her.
That's when Hannya left the hospital in a daze, barely clutching her phone and purse, she didn't even know she drove home until she parked in the driveway. Turning off the engine, she sat in stunned silence, her knuckles tight onto the steering wheel.
God, she just wanted to turn back time to the last month, the last year, erase everything. She was numb enough as is and she hoped Dabi wasn't waiting on her. She just couldn't take it right now.
“No,” she said, barely audible. The nurse's words echoing in her ears once more.
A sob escaped her. She dragged herself out of her vehicle, barely registering her feet moving towards her home, inside of her apartment. She locked the door behind her. And didn't have to look around to see a tall man with spiked dark hair and a smile that gave her goosebumps.
"Dabi..."
"Miss me?"
Her legs felt like jelly. Her heart was being so fast she feared it rip itself through her chest. Hannya's knees shook, and her heart hammered in my chest. She felt like she was already walled in, and she didn’t even know it.
“I wish I’d never met you,” she said, almost whispering.
He stopped, his boots creaking the wooden floor under him. “Believe me, girl, the feeling is fucking mutual.”
No arguments, no shouting, no cursing even though she wanted to spew a blue streak at him. Eventually she fell onto her knees, the metallic clink of a belt and a zipper being pulled down; she parted her lips for Dabi's cock already slick with precum. She swallowed him into the back of her throat.
"Good girl," he praised her, stroking the back of her head.
___________________________________________
Hannya hadn't seen Dabi since that day, what felt like over a month had turned into sixteen months. As much as she didn't care, she ached for him, and not in the sexual sense. She truly yearned for his company if she could actually believe it. Just what happened to him after that?
No texts, no calls. No sudden appearing without warning. Poof! He never told her he was leaving. Then again he never told her a lot of anything. Hannya often dreamt of him, as the little boy named Touya. The same boy who came crying to her in the catacombs and she to him. Two kids yearning for a place in the world.
She hadn't given up hope she'd see him again, if ever. Hannya swiped her fingers across her phone screen, tucking her device back into her pocket, her blue eyes swiveled up the moon, an ache swelling in her chest.
"I'm losing it..." She mumbled, proceeding to walk. She was patting her pockets for her car keys when a hand snaked its way around her forearm, dragging her into a brick corner, pinning her against a wall.
She couldn't scream because of the stranger's hand covering her mouth. Her eyes doubled in size, his sinister smirk making her skin flush.
Touya!
"Dabi." It came out as a muffle.
"Like you've seen a ghost," he sneered, letting her go.
"For a minute I thought I did..." She whispered.
His eyes raked over her outfit, eyes narrowing in on her chest. He sure knew how to make her vulnerable, naked without undressing her. So he hadn't left after all. Was he hiding from her?
He was never far to begin with. Something told her this wasn't a social visit, she needed to get home before she did something like kiss him. He'd take her right here in public. Wouldn't be the first time.
"I was looking for you, " she said.
"Is that a fact?" His voice was utterly emotionless. Not the least bit of warmth.
"I suppose I was looking for you, too. You made a big mistake Hannya."
The way he said it made Hannya scoot an inch from him.
"What are you talking about?" Hannya remained composed, furrowing her dark brows. Dabi only advanced.
"Telling lies, keeping secrets. It was all gonna come out eventually, you just should have been more careful."
"Dabi..." He chuckled, one hand stuffed in his jacket pocket.
"I...I meant to find you...I was looking for my family."
Dabi almost laughed, shaking his head slightly.
"You were looking for a family, huh? One could argue it's my family you’re looking for right? How are my baby boy and girl by the way? Got my eyes don't they?"
All the color drained from Hannya's face.
A glimpse into memory had her back in the exam room months ago.
"We ran more tests Hannya. Your bloodwork shows you’re also pregnant, a little over eight weeks along. Congratulations.”
Why couldn't the Earth just swallow her whole now? There's no way he could have known. No she wouldn't have told him right away, if at all. He wouldn't have been a great father. When she was told she was pregnant Hannya wanted to cry, scream, break something or even someone. The last thing she had ever wanted inflicted on her had happened, she was in such hysterics she nearly fainted.
Why couldn't it have been anyone but him? The raw cry she let out. She imagined life with two tiny humans, ones she could give unconditional love to. Innocent souls. Her twins. She knew she was going to keep them, her darling babies. How she tried to keep them from Dabi and now...
"You knew...how long..."
"Does it matter? You honestly didn't think you could hide them from me forever Hannya. You should know better than that." His voice was almost a taunt.
"Try keeping them away from me, if you so much as leave with them I'll burn everything down in my path, everyone, to get what I want."
It was like a slap in the face. He wouldn't? Right? No, he had no rights towards their children. Her children. As far as Hannya knew Dabi was just the sperm donor.
Hannya scowled.
Dabi smirked.
He was right, the twins got his eyes alright.
Still advancing, Dabi pinned Hannya to the rough brick wall, his nose level with hers. He didn't want to admit he missed his little devil. He had to resist the urge to to tear off her clothing and fuck her until she was begging him to stop. God, her scent. She couldn't have been more beautiful, plump lips, inviting breasts, fair skin he wanted to mark again.
"I'll be watching you and our children, doll. Who would have thought..."
He gripped her oncoming wrist from slapping him. Should he break it? No. Some other time. He released her, backing up to give her space, almost yearning for the closeness again. No more talk, he left quietly as he came. He heard the faint falling of Hannya on her knees, cursing him to hell and back.
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