#I tried to do research on trains in the '40's
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A Past Encounter - Bucky Barnes x reader (nsfw)
Summary: Being in a relationship with Bucky, Y/N prided herself on knowing him quite well but when she’s accidentally teleported back to 1940, Y/N discovers that there is a whole other Bucky that she has yet to meet. The sweet flirt that had everything going for him before his unfortunate capture by HYDRA.
Word Count: 2400+
Warnings: 40’s Bucky & Steve, flirty 40’s Bucky, small 40’s Steve, slight angst, sage advice from good ol' Steve, massaging, flustered Bucky, fluff
a/n: not proofread.
Series Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Chapter Ten
Two weeks have passed since Bucky gave Y/N a copy of the key to the apartment and the majority of that time was spent outside of it.
Y/N simply couldn’t stay in one place when she had the solution to returning home right in the palm of her hand. However, within those two weeks, she was beginning to understand a very important piece of information: how much she didn’t understand science.
The general stuff like Newton’s laws and the process of which plants grow is called photosynthesis, but anything out of range of high school science was beginning to irritate her.
Of course she hadn’t considered the possibility where she was utterly confused since she thought of herself as a decently gifted person; this little escapade made her reevaluate her actual intelligence.
If only Tony were here, he could help me… Y/N mentally sighed, slumping her hand onto the table she sat at.
Then she scoffed, If he was here I wouldn’t need to be doing this; he would have already fashioned up a device that time travels.
She sat up, staring at the notes piled around the table as well as the pencil abandoned a few inches from her hand. Her brain wasn’t reading any of the notes, simply staring at the combination of different subjected notes spread out around the surface. The lead of the pencil had somewhat smeared across a few of the pages while the pen she had also used remained bolded in its black ink.
To be honest, she felt a little tired looking out over all the scribbles causing her eyes to narrow a bit.
“Hey, Y/N.”
Like a train wreck, that one familiar voice sent her into an unexpected panic. She whipped her head to meet Steve’s eyes as he looked down at her, standing a few feet away.
She had to resist the urge to completely scatter her notes about because if she tried to hide them, that would only make Steve curious and she really didn’t need that. So instead of trying to cover up all the notes, Y/N opted to somewhat hide the ones sitting directly under her arms.
“Oh hey, Steve! Wasn’t expecting you here today!” Y/N smiled, trying to reel in her nerves.
Luckily, Steve was none the wiser to her internal panic. “What are you up to?”
Before he was done with his question, he was already reaching his thin hand out to pick up her notes scattered on the table. She watched his eyes inevitably scan across the page to read the words written on them.
She swallowed harshly. “Well I was just doing some research.”
“Research on what?” He asked, setting down one page of handwritten scribbles to the next.
“Just a curiosity of different sciences.” Y/N waved her hand back and forth while an anxious smile made a home across her face.
Steve hummed in response, blue eyes flicking up to glance at her before he continued reading. His eyes scanned over every word, not understanding all of it but becoming impressed all the same, and that was reflected in the way he would occasionally look up to Y/N with a smile.
“So you can understand this kind of stuff?” He asked after a minute or two.
Y/N resisted the urge to cringe at the question; the past two weeks have made it clear she only understood some of it. Nonetheless, she nodded. “Yeah, I mean most of it. Some topics take a bit of work to wrap my mind around it.”
“Still, that’s pretty incredible. You could use this for a job or something.” He praised with complete sincerity.
“Oh I don’t know about that…” Y/N immediately rebutted. “And anyway, I don’t think there would be much point; I probably won’t be here that long.”
As soon as the words left her mouth, she noticed Steve’s abrupt pause. He simply sat still, staring at a point in the table that Y/N could not see. For a second, she thought perhaps she had hurt his feelings.
He took a breath, like he was carefully choosing his next words. “You know, just because you might not be here for very long, doesn’t mean you can’t live the life you want.”
Y/N couldn’t help the furrow in her brow as she bit her lip, the remnants of a nervous laugh making its way up her throat. “I-I know, I guess I just….well, I’m afraid that if I let myself live my life here then I’ll forget how my life was, forget who I was.”
She couldn’t help the pang of despair hitting her heart once the words left her mouth.
“I understand.” Steve sympathized, “...and I’m not saying you need to forget, in fact, don’t.”
Her gaze snapped up to meet his earnest expression.
“Whatever has happened in your life up until now is what made you into who you are today. What’s important is to make room for other experiences to become more of yourself, and who knows? Maybe it’ll be a good thing.”
“Like meeting you and Bucky?” She said almost instinctively.
Then Steve laughed, not the kind of teasing laugh but one fueled by the compassion of friendship. “I suppose you could say that. It’s been fun having you around.”
Y/N smiled. “It’s only been a few weeks.”
He nodded, “It’s been a good few weeks.”
They both then hummed in appreciation of each other, acknowledging that they’ve both had some sort of impact on one another’s lives even if not much time had passed since they met. Technically, Y/N met them a long time from the current time, however this was a different Steve than she was used to and on some level, it was like they truly only met a few weeks ago.
Steve tapped on the table a few times, then stood up from the chair. “It’s getting a little late in the afternoon, want to pick something to make for dinner? Unless you’re still trying to study.”
Y/N followed suit, and stood up. “No, that’s alright. I was starting to get a little stir crazy anyway.”
“Well alright then.” Steve beamed, then gestured for Y/N to walk ahead of him.
She swiftly gathered up all her research notes, stuffing them inside a notebook before walking off in the direction of the front door of the library.
They both stepped outside at the same time, and headed off to the nearest supermarket, taking joy in each other’s company.
________
It had been around 5:30pm by the time Bucky got home from work. Per usual, he felt the soreness of working in a mechanic’s shop; bending in awkwards places and lifting ungodly heavy objects did nothing to help his muscles. The only good thing he could say that came out of it was his toned body (which he was not ashamed to admit). Though the aching left him wanting a hot bath to ease the pain.
He barely managed to open the door but as soon as he did, the smell of delicious spices hung in the air of the apartment.
Instantly, he forgot about the aching of his joints and instead focused on the smell permeating the air which led him to the tiny kitchen. There, standing side by side, was Steve and Y/N expectedly peering around the kitchen wall.
They heard him walk in as soon as he opened the door.
“Hey, Bucky.” Steve greeted first.
“Hi, Bucky! You have a good day at work?” Y/N greeted, quickly following it up with a question.
It was a normal question, one that no one even thinks about but he was thinking about it and reacting to it. The way she smiled up at him when she asked, the sweet tone of her voice like silk, and her eyes glowing as if he were the only person in the world. It all caused his heart to thump wildly while trying to keep his exterior looking calm.
Taking a breath, he answered. “Yeah it was good. I’m just a little sore.”
He could then see the flash of concern over her face as she continued to absentmindedly stir something in the pot on the stove. Though she didn’t say anything as Steve stepped in.
“We’re making beef stew; we picked up the ingredients before we got back.”
Bucky nodded his head, eyes finally jutting over to his friend. “That sounds good, we haven’t had stew in a while.”
“It was Steve’s idea. He told me that Monday’s are quite hectic for you at work so he said that a big meal might make you feel better or something like that.” Y/N explained, as she turned away from him to focus on the pot. “I thought it was a nice gesture.”
“Yeah, good ol’ Steve, acting like my mother.” Bucky joked as he turned away and headed toward the living room. Both Steve and Y/N watched as he dragged himself over to the cushioned chair, then plopped down with a thud.
He sat still for a minute, opting not to move so as to not upset his body and when he was comfortable enough, he rested his arms on his knees as he leaned his head down.
“Do you think he’s okay?” Y/N asked, taking her off of Bucky to look at Steve.
Steve had also still been looking at Bucky when Y/N turned to him, but he soon returned her gaze. “He’ll be fine, this is how Monday’s usually go for him.”
“I see.” Was all she said, looking back to the brunette.
After a few seconds of silence, Steve spoke again. “Here, why don’t you…” He paused for a minute as he grabbed a washcloth from one of the drawers, and put it under the faucet. “take this to Bucky and ask him yourself.”
His small hand squeezed out the excess water and handed it to Y/N, who seemed a bit confused but still took the cloth to walk into the living room.
She could tell right away that Bucky hadn’t sensed her approach because once she was beside him, he jerked a bit.
“Oh sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Y/N quickly apologized.
Bucky waved off the apology. “Oh no that’s okay, I was lost in my head is all.”
“Steve told me to give you this…” She mentioned extending the washcloth to him.
He chuckled as he gently took it from her hand. “Steve thinks I look disgusting when I come home from the shop.”
Soon he began to wipe off his face and hands, the dark grease and soot sticking to the wet cloth.
Feeling slightly mischievous, Y/N smirked. “Can you blame him? You do look gross.”
“Oh well thanks, I’ll make sure to clean up before I get home, Princess.” He playfully retorted, taking one final swipe of the cloth over his face.
Y/N quietly laughed, “Why thank you, sir.”
Neither said anything until Bucky went to rub the back of his next and he groaned in clear discomfort.
“Are you okay?” Y/N asked, stepping forward and subconsciously resting her hand lightly on his shoulder. Bucky immediately noticed but didn’t mention it.
“Yeah, I’m okay. Like I said earlier I’m sore, it hurts more now that I’ve finally had a chance to sit down and relax.”
“Would you like me to massage your shoulders for a little bit? See if that helps?” She kindly offered him.
Bucky had to force himself to not blurt out an enthusiastic yes at the idea the moment she suggested it. Thankfully, he was able to compose himself and think rationally. “Uh yeah, sure why not?”
Y/N stepped behind him and the not so tall lounge chair, briefly placing her hands on his shoulders then taking them away.
“Actually, do you have a shirt underneath this one?” She asked, gently tugging on the collar of his button up.
“Yeah, why?”
She hummed, “Because it’ll be easier to massage your muscles without the button-up.”
Bucky didn’t know why, but those words sent heat straight to his face. He mentally thanked the dull, orange glow of the lamps lighting the apartment or else Y/N might’ve been able to see his red cheeks. “It would, wouldn’t it?”
He brought his now sweaty palms up to his collar, beginning to unbutton each one down the expanse of his torso. Once loose enough, he shrugged off the shirt from his shoulders to reveal the raw muscle underneath. The moment they were exposed, Y/N carefully laid her hands on him and began to carefully press against the sore spots.
As soon as her fingers made contact with them, Bucky softly groaned.
“I’m sorry, did that hurt?” Y/N asked, ceasing her movements.
He shook his head. “No, please keep going.”
Without a word, she continued. She made sure to gauge his reactions whenever pressing down on any particularly knotted spots, pushing either harder or softer depending on the expression on his face. Overall, he seemed to enjoy the harder caresses of her hands as it released the tension considerably in his shoulders.
This went on for several minutes, and as each minute passed Bucky became sleepier and sleepier, falling into a hazy state of consciousness while Y/N massaged him. He still had awareness of the world around him, but could only focus on how good she was making him feel.
And Y/N got caught up in the habit of rolling her hands against his muscles, almost possessed by the action, that at some point dug her fingers into his brown rooted tresses. Now she began to rake her fingertips along his scalp, admiring the way he shivered and took in a sharp breath; eyes still fully closed.
He was beautiful.
She leaned forward, hands no longer moving, and pressed a kiss to his temple.
Her half narrowed eyes widened when she caught Bucky staring up at her in surprised awe, a gasp leaving her lips. She jumped back, bringing her hands flat on her flaming cheeks.
“I’m so sorry, I don’t know why I did that!”
“Y/N it’s okay, I’m not-”
“Dinner is ready, you guys.” Steve shouted from the kitchen, dipping out of the small area to peer into the living room. He thought it was a little strange that the two of them stood several feet away and weren’t saying a word because the last he saw, Y/N had been standing right next to Bucky.
“Okay, Steve, sounds good. I’ll um…I’ll set the table.” Y/N stammered, making a b-line for the kitchen and fled past Steve.
Steve watched Y/N rummage through one of the cabinets for a second then walked over to Bucky, voice hushed. “What happened?”
Bucky stood up from the chair, eyes staring past Steve and into the kitchen. “She kissed me.”
________
Tagged profiles
@honeyrydernot @spn-obession @tinyminxie @fluffybunnyu @saintmagx @hopelessromantic423
#marvel#bucky barnes#james buchanan barnes#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x female reader#female reader#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes series#winter soldier#winter soldier x reader
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No one asked for this but here i am shoving my Cid age-related headcanons down y’all’s throat.
This all started because I saw @renegadeem ‘s comment on a post about Valenwind and Cid’s age and the Curious Case of Square Enix Not Giving Us Characters That Are Canonically Over 40 (then you take a look at some of them and you know in your heart they are 62, twice divorced and currently screaming at some kids to get off their lawn).
Alright, buckle up. I’m about to monologue, ladies, gents, non-binary peeps and everybody else in between:
Note: Have in mind I headcanon Shera to be two years younger than Cid and to have also been part of the Shinra Youth Science Program but at different years. Note note: this might change in the future because I’m like a sponge and i absorb hcs.
At 16 years-old Cid Highwind Gets into the Shinra Youth Science Program at Midgar.
I’m sure Shinra has programs like these to catch brilliant minds that help them build their empires (labor force that already know how to do the job you want them to) like most transnational companies do in our world.
There, all students must take military training, they even share some classes with the Cadets for SOLDIER.
On a side note, given his stats in the game and his weapon of choice I say he comes from a family of dragoons and Heidegger takes an interest in him but Cid is focused on becoming an engineer and that is more useful to Shinra.
There is a fic i really love that sorta touches the topic of Cid’s family as dragoons by one of my favorite authors Vinvalen right here (Valenwind: Crusader rain) .
At 20 years-old Cid graduates top of his class as Mechanical engineer. He starts working on building aircraft and flight hardware for Shinra as he starts his career to become an Aerospace Engineer.
At 24 years-old he graduates top of his class as Aerospace Engineer at Shinra.
At 26 years-old Cid gets his pilot’s license with more than 500 hours of flight. Starts the prototype for what he started calling THE SHINRA I. He would later develop the blueprints further to build what will be THE HIGHWIND.
At 28 years of age Cid and Shera present the initiative for the Space Program to Shinra with the initial project and blueprints for a rocket and satellite. The Satellite should have been deployed first and left to circle around The Planet in the upper orbit a year before the rocket launch.
Shinra approves of the project eight months later and Cid Highwind becomes Chief Engineer of it with Shera as his second in command. The base is settled in a small town outside Midgard that will later be known as Rocket Town.
At 32 years old, Shera (30) and Cid get married. They never really dated, but they spent so much time together that they both decided “why not?”.
Evidently, everything goes downhill from there because tHAT IS NOT HOW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS ARE BUILT.
When Cid is 33 years old the first satellite gets deployed earlier, the mission is a complete success and Shinra has plans to put a couple more in orbit except instead of using them for research, Scarlet and Heidegger wish to weaponize them with Mako Canons. Cid is against this at first but understands that he can’t really say no to Shinra when they are the ones funding the Space Program.
Him and Shera don’t really talk to each other outside of work. They are more roommates than a couple to this point.
When Cid is 36 years old Shera almost dies and Cid stops the launch to save her.
Cid is downgraded from Chief engineer and one year later, Shinra cancels the Space Program taking away every single blueprint and infrastructure project Cid ever created when working for Shinra and they basically try to alienate him when Cid tries to fight back. Shera keeps working for them in charge of space communications. Cid is devastated.
As a side project, Cid starts the blueprint and building of the BRONCO I (Later known as the Tiny Bronco. Later known as a) the plane Cloud almost broke and b) The “ARE WE SERIOUSLY USING MY FUCKIN PLANE AS A BOAT DAMMIT FINE WHATEVER IT TAKES TO FUCK SHINRA OVER”).
When Cid is 37 years old, him and Shera get divorced, the divorce documentation was initiated by Shera. Despite the fact that they haven’t even slept together in the same room in literal years, Cid was willing to live unhappily for her sake. She decides to stop that, but her mental health is still not the best and she has developed an attachment to him so she stays in Rocket Town “Taking care of him” as Cid goes in what Shera is afraid is a sort of self-destruction path.
Cid works on personal projects and fixing and building things for other people. Shinra sends a Turk sometimes to spy on what he’s doing to make sure that whatever he’s building isn’t something that goes against Shinra. After all, they know he’s capable of building a ship with the right tools and Cid is quite crafty.
At 38 years old Cid is angry at Shinra, Shera, the planet, everyone really, and specially himself. He loathes Rocket Town but can’t bring himself to actually leave. He thinks he has to deal with what he thinks was the failure of his lifetime (“To atone for his sins” in a way *cough cough*). He starts flying people around and killing the Mako infected beasts that attack Rocket Town occasionally. He’s kept himself in shape all this time because habits are hard to break and he’s mildly paranoid of Turks (with good reason) and other shit he knows Shinra has been developing.
In the spring of the year he will reach 40 years of age he meets a group of eco-terrorist weirdos that seem to travel with the daughter of Ilfana, a scientist he once had the hots for back at Shinra.
Said group is made of a rogue traumatized SOLDIER, a girl who could kick his ass with her fists, Ilfana’s daughter who is actually a part of a now extinct ancient human race, what appears to be a talking lion, a robot cat that rides a mog, a teenage ninja girl that gets a kick out of calling him old, a mother hen in the shape of a very ripped man with a gun for an arm and a gunslinger vampire.
Then Cid Highwind goes to space, Vincent is next to him on the Rocket, Shera is Chief Mission Control working along with his old team who also decided to say “fuck you” to Shinra and have taken over a building. This is the start of a new chapter for him, finally.
By this point Cid had been telling himself he is not in love with Vincent for almost a year, you know, like a liar. He has never loved anyone like he loves Vincent. He used to love Shera, of course, but not like this. He still cares for her, but when he married Shera they were both 30 and it seemed like the right next thing they had to do. He never bothered to learn about Shera’s favorite books outside the ones related to their work or which desserts would make her close her eyes in delight. They would fuck when they were horny and sleep on the same bed but never did Cid whispered bad poetry against her collarbone and slept better when he could feel her hair against his shoulder.
When Sephiroth is defeated, Meteor is stopped by Holy and everyone goes home for a while to rest, him and Vincent talk and Vincent knows that he wants to stay with Cid but he is still so scared. Years of torture and trauma are slow to heal, sometimes they don’t heal ever, and Cid is okay with that. Whatever Vincent needs, Cid will give him. Vincent loves Cid so much he is willing to try.
Shera and Cid talk and she stays at the house for one more year before she finally decides to go over everything that happened and starts living her own life for herself.
When Cid is 41 years of age, him and Shera create HIGHWIND Corp as co-owners with Shera as CEO and Cid as Chief engineer. They work alongside the WRO to rebuilt the planet using sustainable energy and building sustainable hardware and software. Cid knows Shinra is involved, with Rufus re-building Shinra with an eco-perspective now. This time though, HIGHWIND Corp is negotiating through the WRO and Cid and Shera are not afraid to say “fuck you, no”.
Vincent comes and goes from Rocket Town. Cid buys some land almost in the middle of nowhere and stablishes his house, hangar and workshop there, Vincent follows. He has his own room at the house even if Cid and him sleep in the same bed most of the time and Vincent spends a lot of time perched somewhere on a crate looming over Cid at the workshop, usually reading and listening to Cid work.
Yuffie is also a common guest and she has her own room there as well.
Vincent receives a call from Reeve, there’s been a couple of disappearances and an organization that calls itself “the underground” seem to be responsible. Cid flies Vincent around on his mission to destroy the underground and happily blows some shit up.
After literal decades, Vincent finally faces the fact that he was a victim, that Lucretia was just as guilty as Hojo. He discovers what happened to Grimoire, visits his mother’s grave and is finally on the path to believing that he was not responsible for the awful things done to him.
Turns out that Vincent’s past demons are worst than his actual very real demons. He gets into common ground with them and they recognize him not only as their host but as their link to the Planet and are whiling to fight for him.
Chaos decides to go against their nature as a demigod of death and destruction and they defeat Omega.
Chaos doesn’t go back to the planet, he stays with Vincent, although their relationship changes from “I was trapped inside in this vessel against my will and I’m angry” to “you are my host and we take care of the host, thank you for being our link to The Planet”.
The others agree. Vincent receives them not because he has to, but because he wants to.
[Vincent goes to Lucretia’s cave after that and he tells her about what he found in her and Hojo’s archives, tells her that he’s sorry he couldn’t protect her and that he knows and remembers what she did to him. For the first time he is not seeing her as perfect, just as she was: a scientist who wanted results, a human who was moved by the power of knowledge, imperfect, responsible for some of the scars on his body and his mind.
Vincent tells her that Grimoire’s death was not her fault. He tells her what he knows now of Chaos, how they are more than just a creature, more than just rare materia.
Then, Vincent tells Lucretia about Cid. About how he loves him and the way he loudly snores. About how Cid loves going star-watching. About how he’s been painting, The Planet and Vincent being his favorite subjects.
Vincent tells her about how he was so scared of falling in love again but then in those moments after defeating Omega and realizing he might die for real this time, he was more scared of Cid not knowing he loved him.
He tells her about how, when he fell to the ground, Chaos in distress inside of him, Vincent too tired, too many bones broken and internal bleeding to move, the realization that he was not healing settling in; he thought about his life, about his parents and Veld, about his new friends and Aerith, who he knew was watching over them from the livestream, about the letter Tifa would carry with her everywhere, the beautiful strokes of Aerith’s handwriting unmistakeable, even when a couple of years ago, tears had soaked the paper. About Cloud crying every night after he managed to remember who he was before he was experimented on by Hojo, about him carefully cradling the dog tags Tseng gave him after Meteor was gone, the same name on them that Cloud used to whisper on those long nights when he thought everyone in the party was already asleep: “Zack”.
He thought about Sephiroth believing Jenova was his mother instead of knowing of Lucretia, of having his own father treat him like an experiment. He thought of that young SOLDIER, Genesis, half broken and willing to sleep forever, just like Vincent once did, until he was remembered there’s more to live for.
He thought of Marlene and a distressed Barret wondering if his daughter was still alive, of Nanaki, still young and a guardian now. He thought of Shera and her husband and how their daughter liked frogs and helping Uncle Cid build rockets made of cardboard.
Thought of her, Lucretia, and how Vincent’s love for her sprouted out of a promise to Grimoire to keep her safe before he disappeared mixed with the guilt that he couldn’t keep his promise. Thought of dumbapple pie from the dumbapple tree that randomly started growing in Cid’s land, about spring and Cid and Vincent building their garden.
He thought about home.
Finally in what would become the moment Vincent begins to let go he thanks her, forgives her. Then, the Planet finally lets Lucretia go, the cristal she was trapped in atoning for her own sins breaks and she finally joins the Lifestream. ]
When Cid turns 43 years old, AVALANCHE celebrates at the Seventh Heaven, there are old and new faces alike, almost all of them familiar. Shera and her husband and kid are there along with an older man with a scar on his face that Vincent calls “partner”. The Turks had the nerve to turn up but Cid stops giving them the evil eye when Tseng walks straight to Vincent’s “Partner”, eyes red and upper lip trembling and hugs him. All this in seconds before the Turk is back to his serene almost stoic face.
Rufus Shinra sends a present with them, of fucking course. Reeve takes it from Cid’s hands before he rips it apart. Funnily enough, its a bottle of his favorite whiskey and an actual damn letter reading “My gift to you is not having to see my face for the whole day, you are welcome. No, the whiskey is not poisoned. Stop being so paranoid Captain Highwind” in it. “Yah, I’ll stop being paranoid of damn Shinra when that fuckin’ brat stops wearin’ suits with more belts than the ones that’re supposed to keep yer pants up and yer gun in place, dammit!”
When Cid is 50 years of age, him and Vincent attend Yuffie’s wedding (they are like her parents. She didnt imprint on them, they imprinted on her. Vincent still calls her to reminds her to eat enough vegetables every week even when she’s over 30, Cid still calls her ‘mah kid’).
Vincent wears a suit, Cerberus rests in its holster on his right thigh and if he appears behind Cid with an actual shovel, eyes glowing Mako red and Chaos golden as Cid’s having a “friendly talk” with the groom…thats between him, Cid and the poor bastard. Cid wears his Captain uniform. Both look hot as hell. Both rail each other after the reception. Life is good.
(Check out @mamoru-chiba-ua ‘s art for the reference of Cid and Vincent at Yuffie’s wedding)
#ages might change since now I’m thinking about making Cid older out of both spite and because i can#I’m sorry if I’m making any mistakes with the official timeline for ffvii but rebirth shook everything up and i dig it.#headcanons#excuse me if i missed something or something was already stablished as canon.#truth is i haven’t played all versions and I’m new in the ffvii fandom :)#if only i could write the fics i have in my wips as fast as this#just rambling and putting my ideas in order ahaaaa#valenwind#cid highwind#vincent valentine#with a sprinkle of#zakkura#and#aerti#aerith x tifa#ffvii#ff7
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Upgrade To Windows 7 With Sccm, The Straightforward Technique
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Sledgefu Fic Dedicated to @stolperzunge
Hello @stolperzunge!! I decided to finally make an account. I’m the anon that has been messaging you Sledgefu asks for a couple of days XD
I finally wrote a fic, and wanted to share it with you. Let me know what you think! It’s based on all of the meta we have been talking about recently.
Please note the warnings in the tags. There’s some mention of suicidal thoughts, dissociation, internalized homophobia, and descriptions of gore related to the war. This was meant to be a oneshot and has turned into a multi-chapter fic already. :| Creative criticism is requested and would be appreciated.
Rating: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh R? For now?
He couldn't sleep. If it wasn't the nightmares, it was the intrusive thoughts. The thoughts were always gently sliding their hands around his throat like an enemy sneaking up on him in the dark. Trying to snuff him out before his comrades could hear. The dreams were worse. They waited until he was lulled into a false sense of calm, warm, security. Finally too tired to fight them off. Blackness opened up to screaming women holding babies. Blood rained from the ceiling of a hut while a woman reached her hands towards him. She begged in a language he couldn't understand. But blind panic was the same in every language. He could see it in her eyes, and he couldn't wipe it out. He couldn't stand to put either of them out of their misery. So he planted his feet and watched until the hut crushed her in front of him. Paralyzed by his fear and angry at his weakness. He would jolt awake, and every morning the anger and shame followed him into waking life.
He used to be a morning person before the war. He'd wake up before sunrise with a cup of coffee. He'd take Deacon on his morning walk. He enjoyed the solitude of morning, and watching the world wake up around him. It was like he and the world slept and woke together in the same rhythm. Everything felt aligned. But now the silence was like screaming. His mind would race while he tried to deal with the onslaught of thoughts and dream laden memories. He began to confuse what he really witnessed in the war with what he dreamt. But he didn't much think it mattered. The feelings that overwhelmed him were the same. He hated himself. He hated what he had brought on himself. He resented his mother for not understanding. He was angry at his father for being forgiving. Didn't his father know what he had done? Who he had become? He crawled in his own skin every waking moment.
He didn't go to Sid with his problems. Sid was busy creating his life with Mary. Gene couldn't bear to burden Sid with his troubles when Sid was just trying to forget and move on. He knew Sid also had trouble with sleep. But unlike Gene, Sid tried not to torture himself about the things he saw and did in the war.
"You can't dwell on it. You can't dwell on any of it.” Ack Ack had said. And it seemed like everyone but Gene was able to abide by that law. The only person in the world who seemed able to pull Gene out of his moods had abandoned him. When Gene woke up on the train to a gentle shove, he expected Snafu's big blue eyes to be staring a hole in him. Like they always did. But instead, he realized another soldier had nudged him awake to ask if he was meant to be disembarking the train. They had arrived in Alabama. Gene looked around confused for a moment before the soldier repeated himself. But Gene wasn't listening. Where had Snafu gone? He couldn't have left without waking him. It wasn't possible.
But it had been possible, and now here he was. Alone. Like he deserved to be. God was punishing him, and Gene couldn't blame him. He'd killed countless people. And by the end of the war, he didn't much care about the damage he caused. He wanted to kill every Jap left with his bare hands. He wanted to make them feel as helpless as he did. He often thought back to his conversation with Leckie.
"God created Japs too, right? Yellow slants who've tried to kill me on many occasions. Japs come from the garden of Eden too?"
God had sent Gene on a mission to kill Japs for what they had done. But he also sent the Japs to bomb Pearl Harbor in the first place. And Gene no longer had any idea what God wanted from either side. Were they all meant to die? Had he survived by accident when God had deemed him disposable? And now God cursed him with these thoughts and dreams. To haunt him for daring to make it out. Maybe they had all been too dirty for God's love in the first place. He knew he'd never again feel the safety of that embrace. He tucked his bible away under his bed months ago after unpacking his suitcase. He couldn't bear to open it. He worried it would burn his hands if he even tried. He was no longer welcome in God's plans. He just knew it.
So, with no faith, no plans, no life, he withered away. He spent hours staring at the walls, off into the distance as he sat outside. And he tortured himself with his thoughts and his lack of purpose. He had no idea what he was going to do with the rest of his life. He wondered if God meant for him to commit suicide. If he had somehow messed up God's plan for him to die. If someone else had died in his place. If he no longer had God's love, then killing himself wouldn't matter. But he lacked any motivation to go through with it. It was as if he was meant to remain stuck between life and death. A ghost among the living.
He knew God had more than one reason to reject him. Not only had he lived when he was meant to die, but he had been born homosexual. He was doomed from birth. He knew something was wrong when he was 6 years old and Betty Cannon had kissed him on the cheek, and he had cried. Sid would nudge him and point out the pretty girls at school, and Gene couldn't have cared less about them. He'd tease Sid for being a pervert and they'd laugh. His sinful nature was further solidified when he gazed at the nurse on Pavuvu. He demanded himself to feel something for her. She was beautiful. She had a kind voice. His mind recoiled as he tried to imagine kissing her, sliding off her clean hospital whites. He felt repulsed. "Alright, you had your looksey," the lieutenant had jeered. If Gene could've glared a hole through that lieutenants body he would've.
If he could've grabbed that asshole by the head and slammed it repeatedly into every damn cup on the table he would've. ‘I feel nothing, I see nothing, I am nothing,’ he would've screamed at him. Can't you see it written all over me? I'm a sinner, you fool. He couldn't ignore the fire in the pit of his stomach every time Snafu leaned against him. Played along with his jokes. Watched him. Snafu always watched his every move. And it drove Gene crazy. Gene thought about what Snafu's curls would feel like in his fingers. What his sweat would taste like as Gene ran his tongue along Snafu's neck. Along that fucking smirk. He went mad with lust thinking of all the things Snafu could do to him. So when he gazed at that fuckin' nurse and felt nothing another piece of him snapped off and was taken by the ocean. He was ruined, and God knew it.
All through his thoughts Gene found himself biking. As he came to, he realized he was approaching Sid's house. It had to be no later than 0500. He hesitated at the start of the driveway. This was crazy. He couldn't bother Sid. But then he felt his right foot swing over the left side of his bike to land beside his left foot on the ground. He began steering and walking towards the front door. He was like a man possessed. Before he could stop himself, he knocked three times in succession. He waited. What the hell are you doing? His mind screamed at him. He was about to knock again when the door slowly opened. Sid was holding his rifle, but quickly lowered the butt of it to the ground when he realized who was at the door.
"Eugene, you scared the daylights out of me. I heard the bike coming along the drive and just about jumped in the bushes to scout." Sid was laughing, but Gene was not. Sid's smile slowly faded. "Get in here," Sid made to grab for Gene's arm but Gene blurted out, "Can you take me to the train station?" Sid's brows came together in confusion. Or maybe it was concern. Sid's hand halted in the air, "You need me to do what now?" Sid's hand landed gently on Gene's bicep. He tugged him gently through the doorway and into the kitchen. "Have a seat." Sid moved to the stove and grabbed the kettle. "We can have coffee and talk it."
Gene was already shaking his head. "I don't need to talk about it. I need you to do this for me. I don't have a car and it'll take me days to bike there." Sid was pouring coffee anyway. "What are you going to do at the train station?" Sid asked.
"Ride the train." Gene answered, curtly. Sid laughed, and set the cup beside Gene. Sid added hot water to his own cup which had likely gotten cold while Sid had watched a stranger approaching his home from the window. Gene could tell the curtain was off-kilter, as if someone had pulled it aside in an attempt to spy without being seen. Gene felt guilty for worrying Sid. He'd have felt guiltier if he woke Sid up, but it seemed Sid had no better luck sleeping than Gene did. "Ride the train where, you smartass." Gene debated whether he should be honest about his intentions. He trusted Sid. He and Sid had been friends since Gene could remember. Sid had always been on Gene's side. But this would be asking something else entirely of Sid. It would be asking Sid to see him for all of his sins, and accept him anyway. If God couldn't manage, he doubted Sid could. "Louisiana." Gene answered. He provided no context. He planned to provide no further geographical context. Sid didn't know about Snafu. He wouldn't even have guessed what Gene's plans were even if Gene told him he was going to New Orleans. But this secret pounded loud in his ears. Matching the beat of his heart. He felt like he was shouting the word Louisiana so he could be heard over the thumping of his heart. He was laid bare in front of God and his best friend. And he planned to deceive both of them. He really was beyond saving.
"Louisiana?" Sid answered. "What's in Louisiana that has you sneaking up to my front door and demanding I drive you down to the station this instant? Did you meet someone you haven't told me about?" Sid's eyes were mischievous. They were full of hope. Hope that Gene had something or someone out there to look forward to. Would they be so full of hope if Sid knew it was a man that Gene ached for? "You could say that," Gene found himself replying. He was skirting the truth. He was living in half truths and short responses. He was a man to be hanged but he kept outrunning the law. "You sly dog!" Sid slapped his knee and scooted his chair back so fast it made an awful screech. There was a thump from where Gene assumed was the bedroom, when Mary emerged from the doorway in her silken robe. Gene would've blushed had he been his old self. Had he been anyone at all anymore.
"What in the Lord's good name is going on out here?" She didn't seem to be mad, but rather playing at it. "Eugene Sledge, is that you causing trouble in my house?" Gene caused trouble everywhere. That's what the devil did when he got inside your soul. He made you destroy yourself and those around you. His lips lifted in one corner in a true Snafu impression. "Sorry, ma'am. I didn't mean to cause such a disturbance." He stood and bowed gently to her. "Sid and I were just about to head out to the train station." Gene looked down at his untouched coffee and thought to hand it to Mary. She might as well enjoy it before it gets cold. Sid stood up and grabbed his coat. It seemed letting Sid believe this was for a woman had propelled him into action. "I won't be long," he kissed Mary on the cheek. Sid grabbed his keys from the same hook his jacket had been on. "Well, come on now lover boy we best be gettin' on." Gene couldn't move fast enough to get out of his seat. He needed to keep moving before his mind came to. Before he hopped on his bike and rode all the way back home and never came back out again. This was his only chance to act. "Lover boy?" Mary smiled, "Gene, that's wonderful. I wish you the best." Gene cringed inwardly. "Thanks." He mumbled. It was a benefit to him that everyone thought him shy. His guilt could easily be mistaken for sheepishness.
He nearly squeezed himself through the front door at the same time as Sid. He took long strides to the car, and grabbed the handle before Sid had even reached the car to unlock it. "Alright, alright, I'm comin'!" Sid had picked up the pace to unlock the door and climb in. He leaned to the right and opened Gene's door for him. Gene immediately flung himself into the seat and fastened his seatbelt before he could run away. Strapped himself in good. "I'll take your bike home later for you." Gene nearly threw up. He hadn't even told his parents he was going on a walk. And now he was planning to leave the state entirely. His mother would call the police. "Shit, Sid. I forgot to tell them I was leaving. I didn't even leave a note." Gene began attempting to unbuckle himself. He needed to get home. If the police came for him and found him with Snafu they'd be arrested. They'd be blue discharged. He didn't know which one was worse. Sid stopped his hand, "I'll tell 'em when I drop your bike off. Don't worry about it. I'll be home and back to your place before they even realize you're gone."
Gene steadied his hand under the pressure of Sid's. Sid would probably never touch his hand again if he knew. He'd never jokingly wrestle with him. He'd be too afraid he'd catch what Gene had. That Gene would be attracted to him. That Gene would ruin everything like he always did. This was just another secret he would have to take to God before he was banished to hell. Why couldn't he get the devil out of him? But despite his inner chastising, Gene let his body rest in his seat. Sinking into the leather and willing himself to calm down. No one knew. No one would know. Sid would take care of him like he always did. Sid, who trusted him, while Gene wore a liar's face. Gene had no idea if Snafu was even still in New Orleans. Gene had no idea if Snafu even wanted to see him. Snafu had left him on the train after all. Gene had probably read into ever stare, every gentle touch, every time Snafu seemed to cut in the shower line until suddenly Gene and Snafu were undressed and standing close. Every time they searched desperately for each other on the battlefield, or in the line of fire, until they knew the other was still breathing. Both sneaking glances, but doing well to hide it. He had imagined all of it in his sick homosexual mind.
"You alright?" Sid asked, glancing sideways at Gene. Unbeknownst to Gene, he had been wearing a pained expression and holding his breath. "I'm sure she'll be delighted to see you. You don't need to be so nervous." Gene almost laughed. Sid had no idea what he was saying. He had no idea at all. "I'm just tired. I haven't slept well in ages." Gene responded, changing the subject. He couldn't stand telling Sid anymore lies than he had to. And there was no way to explain the worry without explaining the truth. "Yeah, I hear you there. Some nights I get a couple hours. Some nights it feels I get a solid couple minutes. Mary's understanding about it." Gene's mind wandered to whether he and Snafu would keep each other up at night with their nightmares. With their stirring. Maybe they'd both stay up together knowing what it was like in each other's brains. Maybe they'd get real good at distracting each other instead. Gene would give anything to let Snafu use him as a distraction. Gene could wrap his legs around Snafu. He could let Snafu move inside of him until they both forgot about everything but each other.
"I'm happy you two have each other," Gene shouted over his thoughts. Sid laughed at him. "Well, I'm overjoyed you want the whole world to know how happy you are for us, Eugene." He was ripping apart at the seams and it was only a matter of time before he lost the ability to pull himself to reality. He had to get away from Sid. From this town. From these burdens. Luckily, the rest of the drive remained uneventful as Sid let Gene get lost in his thoughts, and Gene willed his thoughts to stay in his head. He worried every thought was writing itself out on his face. On every inch of exposed skin. And when he stepped out of the car to say goodbye to Sid, the truth would be there staring back at him. And Sid would stare on, horrified. Until he called out for the police, and Gene was taken away. All his rights stripped, as if he had never existed at all. Just as God had intended.
They pulled into the station, when Sid slammed on the breaks and the car jolted. "Eugene, you don't have any bags with you! How did I not notice? What the hell are you going to do? You can't show up to your lady looking like that." Gene's head snapped to look at Sid. "How dare you? I've never looked so good?" He left his mouth slightly agape in mock horror at what Sid had insinuated. Sid laughed in return. "You haven't shaved, and I think you slept in those clothes." Gene hadn't even thought about clothes. About belongings. He guessed he'd have to start over when he got to Louisiana. "I bet they dress differently down there anyway. I'll consult the best shopkeepers around when I arrive." Gene wanted to get on that train before he changed his mind. If they left to go to his house to grab clothes he'd never come back.
"Do you even have any money?" Gene could've kicked himself. He really brought nothing. He wouldn't even be able to leave if he wanted to. Sid leaned slightly and dug in his coat pocket until he pulled out a wad of bills with a rubber band around them. Sid had a lot of distrust for banks, and often kept cash on him or hidden in his home. "No," Gene was already protesting. He would go home. He would forget this foolishness. "Yes, take it." Sid was pushing the money into Gene's coat pocket. "Absolutely not, stop it. I won't take money from yo-" Sid unfastened Gene's seatbelt and then pushed open his own car door and stepped out. "Sid!" Gene threw his door open and their eyes met over the roof of the car. "I can't take this." Gene couldn't lie to his friend and then rob him of his money too. "Eugene. If you don't take the money and get the hell out of this town I will take it personally. You can't stay here and keep doing this. Look at you. This is your chance to start over. Don't you want that? I'd do anything to get you back. This is the least I can do for you. Now get your ass up to that counter, get your tickets, and get out of my hair before I drag your scrawny ass up there and embarrass you in front of all of these decent folk."
"Sid--"
"I mean it!" Gene snapped his mouth shut. "I won't take no for an answer. Now get."
Gene came around to Sid's side of the car. "I'll never be able to repay you." Sid wrapped an arm around him in a gentle hug. This may be the last time Sid would ever touch him without disgust. Without questioning what dirty thoughts Gene took away from these interactions. Gene loved Sid, but never in that way. He was his brother. But Sid would never understand that distinction. Sid would be horrified by every time Gene had ever touched him. Gene hugged Sid, hard. He loved him like family. The thought of losing Sid crushed him. He tried to pour every ounce of his love into Sid with one hug. 'Please,' he mentally begged, 'Please know that I'll never be able to repay you for all the love you've given me. I've lied to you. I've deceived you. You're pure, and I'm rotten, and I deserve none of this.' Sid hugged him back with a similar strength before pushing Gene gently to arms length and putting a hand on each bicep. "You write to me, Eugene. You tell me everything." Gene nearly crumbled under the weight of his lies. He'd never be able to tell Sid everything. Even if he died to.
"I will," he lied. He was becoming a pro at this.
Sid stepped to the left and turned around to rest against the drivers side of the car. Giving Gene the room to leave and head towards the counter. Gene took the opportunity before he could stop himself. He approached the long line to wait for his turn. He stole a glance at Sid who waved goodbye at him, and got in the drivers seat. Sid must've wanted to keep his promise to return to his house for Gene's bike, and notify Gene's parents before they worried. Gene again mentally thanked Sid for every single thing he ever did for him, and moved one step closer towards his future.
#sledefu#sledgexshelton#sledge/shelton#shelton/sledge#I tried to do research on trains in the '40's#It was uhhhhhhhhh really hard#If anyone knows better and this is wrong please let me know#I also tried to research cars#That was also a mess#I TRIED SO HARD TO BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE BUT I AM STUPID#THANKS#Fic#tw: suicidal ideaton#tw: suicidal thoughts#tw: intrusive thoughts#tw: trauma#period-typical homophobia#tw: internalized homophobia#internalized homophobia#self-hatred#Dissociating#Angst#Religious exploration#tw: gore#tw: christianity#I like to hurt emotionally#Eugene Sledge
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Fallout 4 Random Companion Headcanons
Wrote these a few years ago, too nervous then to share them.
Ada
-Ada was built in 2268. She's about 21 years old.
-Her first memory is of seeing The Mechanist in front of her. Then she watched as The Mechanist removed their head and smiled.
-She's Isabel's first project.
-Her voice was originally supposed to be more synthesized and robotic, but the more human sound was easier for Isabel to work with.
-Ada prefers to travels in groups with 3-4 people, knowing fully well a robot is a higher target for scavvers.
- Her base body was constructed from many different trial runs of the "ADA" project.
-She's programmed to remain indifferent but the nagging voice in her programming says to do good things in order to to aid other people.
-Ada appreciates the effort Sole goes through to upgrade her body. She doesn't think it's necessary and she's somewhat sentimental about her original form.
-She finds Codsworth's attachment to Sole strange. Almost too human, those Mr. Handy's.
Cait
-Cait loves baths. Bubble baths with bath bombs and even a little rubber ducky. Only Sole knows this.
-The rubber ducky's name is Codsworth. Will not explain why.
-Can fire a rifle over her shoulder behind her. (Annie Oakley style)
-Hates Jazz music. Says it's too slow and calm. Really dislikes it because she's uncomfortable slow dancing with anyone.
-Allergic to feathers. Rad chickens make her sick to be around.
-But once the feathers are removed, the chicken has been cut up, and cooked with some veggies and a loaf of bread, loves it.
-Chicken soup is her favourite dish. Only likes Sole's chicken soup though. Will not eat anyone else’s.
-Shot put would be her favourite sport. Throwing a heavy metal sphere a very long distance is goals.
Codsworth
-Codsworth can speak 8 languages. Including: English, Spanish, French, Japanese, German, Italian, Polish, and Swedish.
-Can recognize almost every written language and translate but lacks the programming to speak every one.
-Nate/Nora got him two years before Shaun was born.
-Sole did minimal repair work on him, and offered to polish him every time he got a dent or scratch.
-He always accepted the polish offer. Very wary of Sole doing factory repairs on him. Would prefer professionals doing the delicate work.
-Always celebrated Nate/Nora and Sole’s respective birthdays. For 200 years.
-When Sole called him "Family", he felt an odd electric pulse through his core processor. He decided to call it a skipped heart beat.
-Calls synth Shaun "Sonny", and "Young Master Shaun".
-Makes Sole's favourite meal when they come back home from Vault 111.
-Will ask to take over if he catches Sole doing chores.
-Hesitates when he has to bring up Sole's spouse knowing it's a touchy subject.
-His favourite friend of Sole's is Nick. Thinks Nick is a good role model for synth Shaun.
Curie
-Curie, like Codsworth can speak 8 languages. However, after becoming a synth, she can only speak about 4.
-Curie loves the feeling of velvet. Collects pieces of velvet clothing.
-Once wore a velvet cape around because she loved the way it draped over her shoulders and fluttered when she walked.
-Has sensory phases. Music, nice noises, soft materials, different foods, perfumes, etc. Collects whatever makes her senses happy.
-During the "feeling phase" her favourite feeling was holding Sole's hand. Loved running her hand over the surface of water. And velvet.
-Talks out what her feelings are with Piper. Piper explains to her what the "spin spin spin" in her head meant.
-Favourite smell is fresh baked bread. Bakes bread with Mama Murphy every weekend.
-Favourite sweet food is mutfruit pie. Will badger Piper to make it with her.
-Curie's motor functions are still new. Sometimes she misses what she was trying to grab and fumbles.
Danse
-Danse is a horrid mechanic. You'd think spending time in the BoS and dedicating time to auto repair with Ingram. Can't put a toaster together.
-But Power Armor is a piece of cake. Can't do much with pre-war tech, yet fixing power armor is as easy as making breakfast.
-Like all gen 3 synths, he loves Fancy Lad snack cakes. He'd share whatever box he'd find with the squires around the Prydwen.
-Scribe Haylen would volunteer to work alongside Danse on all his scouting missions.
-Danse found out Deacon was the one who stuck the dildo to his power armor. He made sure Deacon's wigs were the same bright purple color the very next day.
-Loves country music. When a traveling courier stops by and shares their western/country music, he actually dances.
-Has a heart for kids. Even Billy.
-Leg bouncing habit. Can't bounce his leg in power armor but as soon as he's out, his leg's jittering.
Deacon
-Deacon is in his late 40's.
-Did not lie about his wife and the University Point Deathclaws.
-Enjoys learning about Pre-war culture, spends free time with ghouls asking them about the past.
-Sole can fool him easily about prewar facts though.
-Has incredible luck with the pie claw game. Has won 8 times while traveling with Sole.
-Loves making silly bets. "I bet I can skip this plate across the lake at least 1 time." Proceeds to throw the plate at the water horizontally.
-Doesn't hate Danse. He will pull pranks on him though. Once stuck a dildo on the back of Danse's power armour.
-His hair grows quickly so he has to shave every day.
-Shaves his head, isn't bald. Shaved head works better with his pompadour wig.
-Doesn't like mutfruit. Says it's too acidic and hurts his gums.
-Has a rifle-shaped scar on his forearm. Will tell a different story for it every time.
-Once drank a dozen Nuka Cola Quantums on a dare. His pee glowed for a week.
-Tried going vegetarian once. ONCE. Found out being vegetarian means eating no meat or dairy products. Had to have Sole explain that, while gross, radroach could technically be considered meat.
-Is kinda clumsy. Always bumps into counter edges and stubs his toes on bits of debris.
-Doesn't lie about his family. And when Sole calls him family, promises to never lie about family again.
Gage
-Gage juggled skii balls to entertain the last Overboss, Colter.
-He enjoys small shooting competitions with MacCready, Sole, and X6. All four are sharp shooters.
-Fastest learner. Spent an entire week learning how to cook Sole's old recipes. He can cook them better than anyone with the exception of Codsworth.
-Hums when he works.
-Had a one night stand with Nisha. Ended so bad, he avoids that area of the park at all costs.
-Hates cats. Had an awful run in with a rad lion. Radiated Mountain Lion that tore a scar deep down his back.
-Does routine maintenance on the rides in the park. He knows how everything works there. From social hierarchy - to the intricacies of the Vault Tec: Among the Stars ride.
-His favourite flavour of Nuka Cola is Nuka Cola Victory. Rare to find but easily the best.
-Record farthest shot is a bean can from 410 meters.
-He's a lightweight. Only two beers and he's buzzed enough to sing along with Red-Eye.
-Will tell a different story every time if anyone asks about the eye patch.
Hancock
-Hancock is a history buff. Loves learning about colonial era civilization.
-Has spent days with Kent Connolly researching Silver Shroud information. He knows more about the Silver Shroud than any other companion.
-Has had a fling with every person in Goodneighbor at least once. Even Kleo.
-At least in a sexual way, he is extremely open minded. Welcomes new experiences and new information given anywhere anytime.
-Had a decent childhood with his brother. He remembers tending to the mutfruit trees with him and eating every other piece they picked.
-Adores pickles. Would sit and eat an entire jar of pickles just because he loves the cronch so much.
-All time favourite chem is Mentats. Loves making intellectual jokes while high as a kite.
-Does not know what a lot of pre-war expressions mean, but enjoys saying them and hearing them from Sole.
-Is a master at repairing clothing. How else does the frock stay in such good condition? He tends to it every night.
-As far as euphemisms for ghouls go, he likes "beef jerky".
Longfellow
-Longfellow met Hannah while out hunting. She blasted a trapper's head clean off, and he fell harder than the trapper's body.
-He spent his youth training, hoping to become a Brotherhood soldier one day.
-And then he met a vertibird full of them. They called Far Harbor a dump while gathering supplies there. Officially decided to cease all training.
-Managed to take down 17 Mirelurks in 3 minutes.
-Holds the record in Acadia for alcohol consumption. All records involving alcohol consumption.
-He's really fit? Longfellow could and has bench pressed Sole.
-He only did so because Hancock and MacCready wouldn't shut up about it.
-Loves singing old shanty songs and dancing with Sole. Only when no one else is around though.
-After the events at Far Harbor, he decides to go sailing along the coast. Wants to see the world more.
MacCready
-MacCready does brush his teeth. He brushes his teeth regularly. He started brushing after he left Little Lamplight. By that point the damage was already done.
-Lucy was the one to convince him to brush his teeth.
-He can't stand the smell of lavender. Lavender candles, lavender lotion, etc...makes him feel nauseous.
-He named his sniper rifle, "Lucy"
-Won't drink brahmin milk with cereal even to Sole's encouragement.
-Is very well read. Vault 87 had many educational textbooks hidden among the super mutants.
-MacCready was the longest lasting mayor in L.L. He was mayor for 6 years.
-He has no idea what television is and is afraid to ask any pre-wars about it.
-Wary of all ghouls, both feral and normal. He's not bias to non-ferals, but he is a little uncomfortable.
-Had a crush on Lone Wanderer when they first visited L.L. Mac told Joseph and he made fun of him.
Nick
-Nick has an oral fixation. Smokes out of habit and having the familiar feeling of a cigarette between his lips feeds into human nostalgia.
-His right hand is missing skin because he fidgets only his right. Whether it was picking at the fraying plastic or rubbing the fake skin raw.
-He lost the chunk of neck skin after Myrna accused him of working for the Institute. Tore off a chunk to prove he wasn't a perfect person or an infiltrator synth.
-Ellie was the first person in Diamond City to wholly accept Nick as he is. She asked to work with him as soon as he decided to stay.
-Piper and Nick have jam sessions where they have heavy debates about Diamond City law enforcement and criminal misuse of power in the capitalistic society of pre-war USA.
-Met Dogmeat under an overpass. He handed the dog a snack cake and scratched his head. They've been close pals ever since.
-Will "sleep" around Sole. He'll lay down and manually put himself into "sleep mode". Any unnecessary functions will shut down. He lets his thoughts take over. All Sole hears is the faintest fan whir.
Piper
-Piper plans Sole's 211th birthday. She goes all out, collects balloons, bakes several cakes with Codsworth, makes everyone attend and threatens anyone who would act up. "It's Blue's first birthday out here, you WILL behave!"
-Knows how to make mutfruit preserves, mutfruit pie, mutfruit jam and jelly. Makes it for Nat constantly.
-Has a notebook dedicated to little tidbits of info about Sole.
-Nat is exactly 8 years, 5 months, and 25 days younger than Piper.
-Piper has interviewed every person in Diamond City. Made a game of it with Nat at first, then she just kept going with it.
-Piper has awful shorthand. Almost as bad as Curie's shorthand. Still illegible.
-Piper's handwriting is so bad, Nat does the writing for the paper. Piper writes the final draft and Nat copies it, and sends it through the printing press.
-Despite bad handwriting, Piper is very eloquent. Can make a super mutant sound like good date idea or convince anyone how the mayor might actually be a synth.
-Her favourite of Sole's friends is Kent Connolly. Would gladly dress up and act out Silver Shroud episodes with him and Sole.
Preston
-Preston has insomnia. Cannot sleep well. Has had insomnia since Quincy.
-Can sleep well if he's sleeping beside someone.
-Has a box under his bed of little knick-knacks children have given him over the years. Can't bear to get rid of the kid's gifts.
-He actually likes all of Sole's friends. Even Strong.
-Hates coconut. Once found an Almond-Joy while scaving and couldn't finish it to save his life.
-All time favourite candy is Peanut Brittle. Hard to find but gnawing on the hard chunks is somewhat soothing to him.
-Loves back rubs. Giving and receiving but only from close friends or lovers.
-Once accidently drank a bottle of perfume. MacCready told him it was a bottle of fancy expensive wine.
-Sturges and Preston are the closest of friends, no less maybe more.
Strong
-Strong knows how to jump rope.
-But double dutch is a mystery.
-Before Sole, he only ate meat raw. Sole taught him how to cook it.
-Also lacks patience to cook, but slowly learning.
-Strong was created in Vault 87 after the bombs dropped but remembers nothing from being human.
-Doesn't understand bubblegum. Will always swallow it after a few seconds of chewing.
-Likes having poetry and plays read to him.
-Sleeps holding Sole or having Sole laying across his stomach.
-Loves fire. The smell, the feeling of heat against his hardened skin, the taste of charred meat, and watching the embers fly up and turn to ash.
-Strong can read, but chooses not to because super mutants discourage any educational behavior.
-Likes the sound of clacking keys on a terminal. He'll turn one on and mess around with the keyboard just to hear the different sounds each key makes.
-He can't decide if hand-to-hand combat is better than using guns.
X6-88
-X6 doesn't like using plasma. He thinks the plasma is less accurate.
-But laser weapons are his jam.
-Spends excessive amount of time augmenting his weapon.
-If Sole helped, he would be "happy". Would never say it, but a tiny smirk would pop up on his face for half a second.
-Will collect Fancy Lad Snack Cakes. Hoards them in his bedroom in Sanctuary and in the Institute.
-Sole found his stash and X6 blushed for the first time when they confronted him.
-He called Sole "Mom" instead of Ma'am once. She won't let him live it down.
-He called Sole "Dad" after hearing Shaun call him "Dad" all day. He won't let him live it down.
-Actually likes kids. Won't show emotions, get down to their level, or speak to kids. But he doesn't hate children.
-Especially likes synth Shaun. He taught synth Shaun how to use a laser pistol. Shaun found out and put X6 on probation for a month.
Bonus Vault Tec Rep and Kent Connolly under the cut.
Vault Tec Rep
-Rep spent a couple decades learning how to draw. Loves drawing from life. Mostly draws people. Occasionally draws ferals, mutants, and various animals.
-Was engaged before the war, lasted about 2 years before she died of cancer.
-His favorite food was and still is a well grilled medium rare steak.
-A total neat freak. Every space he uses as a homestead has to be thoroughly cleaned of any bacteria, ticks, dust, dirt, radiation residue, etc
-Teased in school for his red hair. "Rusty" was his least favorite nickname.
-He's extremely susceptible to pet names. Doesn't have to be anything sexual or romantic, just pet names. He blushes like a starstruck starlet.
-Loves love. Romance and old-timey corny love stories. He like to woo his partner. Flowers, chocolate, dancing, movie dates, hand written poems, you name it.
-He misses his old red hair. Years of being a brunette and he's a little bitter about his hair.
-Least favourite part of The Wasteland is amount of bodies he sees on a daily basis. He saw about zero bodies a day on average before the war. Even in Goodneighbor, the average has risen to about 4 bodies a week.
-Favourite part of The Wasteland is the ability to just go anywhere. After realizing he didn't have any obligation to stay any specific place, he just traveled around for a few decades.
-His father worked for Vault-Tec, and when he graduated high school, he was given a job immediately.
-Didn't hate it. Didn't love it at first, but he had a real knack for selling.
-He never had an office in Boston HQ. He got the van, and got a sweet bonus for being top salesman, but never his own office.
-Despite being top salesman, he was only allowed on the first and second floors. He didn't find out till after the bombs dropped that the basement and third floor up had the plans for the various vaults in the area.
-He can't apologize enough to Sole. After thinking on it and checking out vault 111 by himself, he truly feels sorry for what happened.
-Sole gets him a set of steak knives for Christmas. They're homemade by Sole. They tell him he's earned far more than a knife set, but if that's what he's pining for...
-He treasures it so much, he rarely uses them. Just before he leaves for work in the morning, he checks them over and admires them.
-He and Sole have spent days just telling each other pre war stories. He almost knows more about Sole than Piper does. And he's a little proud of that fact.
-He gets along best with, of all people, Deacon. Good sense of humour and always interested in pre-war info.
-Second best is Piper. A nice lady who snoops too much, but does treat everyone with respect and tries to remain unbiased.
Kent Connolly
-Kent was 23 when the bombs dropped.
-He was sleeping in on the Saturday morning when he heard the air raid sirens.
-Hid in his house's basement till the sirens stopped.
-And then the radiation sickness took over.
-It took him about 3 months to turn ghoulish. Quicker than most.
-He dislikes Goodneighbor - the town as a whole. The people are fine, the resources are serviceable, and the safety assured is nice. But he hates how back alley it feels.
-Misses his family the most. They weren't the best, but they made him feel loved and important.
-Speaking of which, Kent had a huge family. I'm talking brothers, sisters, cousins for days, aunts, uncles...he remembers family reunions as huge gatherings chock full of food and kids running amuck.
-Maybe, just maybe, he enjoys seeing Sole all dressed like Shroud a little too much. He's a big fan.
-Once spent 4 grand on a mint condition Issue no. 3 Silver Shroud comic just to find out it was a forgery. Never got that refund. :(
-Writes really well. But only writes Silver Shroud fanfiction. Piper almost convinced him to help write an article about how crime differed before the war and after the war. But he turned her down.
-Nick has agreed to dress up as Shroud if Sole dresses up like Grognak or Mistress of Mystery. But only if Sole dresses up too.
-Irma refers to him as her son. Amari will not say the same, but she also doesn't protest.
-He used to work in comic book shop. (Of course he did.)
-He writes self insert Silver Shroud fanfiction all the time. After the events at the hospital with Sinjin, the Shroud in his fanfictions suddenly start using Sole's pronouns and is described as physically similar as Sole.
#Fallout 4#Fallout 4 headcanons#Fallout#Ada#Cait#Codsworth#Curie#Danse#Deacon#Gage#Hancock#Longfellow#MacCready#Nick Valentine#Piper Wright#Preston Garvery#Strong#X6-88#Vault Tec Rep#Kent Connolly#my writing#Sole Survivor
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Beautiful Pain (4)
Chapter Four- Now or Never
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Enhanced! Reader
Summary: Post-Blip, you started to feel lost when most of the Avengers team are gone. Coping with your loss, you still find hope in the connection with your remaining friends. However, it is not easy as everyone is trying to figure their lives after the Blip.
Having a long history with Bucky ever since you both saved each other from Hydra, you were still glad you had Bucky after all this time. However, as you try to give Bucky space to find himself after being pardoned for his past, you start to wonder if you should ever cross the line of friendship before it’s too late.
That thought might have to be put on hold though, when you, Sam and Bucky find yourselves having to deal with threats that continue to rise in a post-Blip world.
Chapter synopsis: Your supposed ally leads you to an unlawful nation where danger lurks at every corner. Bucky starts to see you in a different light.
Warnings: Sexual objectification. Very bad undercover work. Calling Sam daddy. Sexual innuendos.
Word count: 4.8k
Notes: I am very humbled that people have been enjoying the story and liking it so far! This means to me a lot as a novice writer! ☺️
I had a lot of fun writing this chapter, felt like I got more to expand for the Madripoor episode. I love to know what y’all think of it so far! 😘
The tag list is still open! Let me know if you want to join with a message or comment in the chapters!
Previous: Prologue | Chapter One | Chapter Two | Chapter Three
Next: Chapter Five
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As Zemo made arrangements on his end, you did not know what to expect. You, Sam and Bucky were brought to the tarmac of a small private airport, your attention was brought to the private plane that Zemo was leading you towards.
Sam made a comment on Zemo’s wealth and the latter explained that he was practically royalty before the Avengers destroyed his country. Touché.
You took the seat right across from Zemo and you couldn’t help but put your guard up around the man. He could sense the tension all over your face and offered champagne to which you declined. You wanted to make sure you were fully sober around this guy.
As you looked on at the exchange he had with his steward, he almost looked decent for a moment. You wouldn’t have thought of this guy to be a manipulative and scheming man that caused that chain of events many years ago.
“You don’t know what it’s like to be locked in a cell.” Zemo started off after having a sip of his champagne. He then paused in his actions as he looked over all of you and corrected him.
“Oh that’s right, you all do. My apologies.” Rolling your eyes, you crossed your arms as you leaned into the comfort of the plush aeroplane seat.
Sam tried to get Zemo to start talking but the baron brushed it off for a moment as he looked at a book in fascination. As Zemo brought up a familiar notebook, he asked who Nakajima was.
Your eyes perked up at the familiar name and you immediately turned to look at Bucky who instantly pounced on Zemo and grabbed him into a chokehold. Bucky warned him not to touch his notebook or he would actually kill Zemo, probably with his bare hands.
As Bucky settled down in his seat once more, you gave him a knowing look but he averted his eyes to avoid eye contact. The conversation then took a more light-hearted turn as Sam tried to describe how Steve noted down his suggestion of the Trouble Man soundtrack in the notebook that now was passed onto Bucky.
Sam asked if Bucky liked it too and the super-soldier replied that he liked 40’s music to which Sam look almost offended that Bucky didn’t share his taste in music. Bucky looked like he didn’t even want to bother but he clarified that he indeed liked it just to get Sam to back off.
Zemo decided to join in the conversation and put his two cents. Sam was surprised at how Zemo managed to eloquently describe the music style. Afterwhich, Sam went on to say how everyone loved Marvin Gaye while Bucky agreed that he did too.
Sam added that Steve adored the singer too. Hearing this, Zemo commented that Bucky must have looked up to Steve very much.
Yes, we all did. You wanted to add that in too.
Zemo, however, then took the liberty of giving his view on Steve. He talked about how dangerous it could be to idolize super soldiers like Steve and start to disregard their flaws, thus allowing him to not be held accountable for the repercussions that stem from his actions. Even if that meant the formation of movements, the fighting of wars, the loss of innocent lives.
Sam gave him a warning to better stop talking but Zemo continued on. When Zemo noticed how you started shaking your head in dissatisfaction, he gave a light chuckle before speaking directly to you.
“Miss Y/N. Contrary to my own personal views on enhanced individuals, I do find you fascinating, The files I read on you only make me more curious. Can I ask some questions?” You could feel the attention being put on you in the room and you grew slightly uncomfortable.
“What do you want?” Hoping to act nonchalant to mask your nervousness, you crossed your legs and leaned back into your seat.
“You have no family history. You grew up in an orphanage, am I right?” Nodding at the facts he laid out, Zemo carried on.
“You couldn’t have possibly been experimented on. You have gotten into any accidents?” You shook your head in response.
“Chemical exposure, radioactive bites, cosmic ray exposures….those are the possibilities that an ordinary person could obtain superhuman abilities according to the theories online.” Unimpressed, you continued to shake your head at him.
“Tell me. I’m curious.” You couldn’t entertain the likes of him but seeing how he was leaning in to wait for your answer, you gave an indifferent expression before speaking.
“It appeared out of nowhere. Someone committed arson in the local convenience shop where I was at the time. I was trapped with the elderly shopkeeper and I thought we were both going to die. A burning beam was falling onto us and I thought that was the end. I suddenly emitted a burst of energy that managed to put own the fire and incinerate the beam into ashes.” As you retold your story, memories of your fear from that time came back.
“The shopkeeper lost consciousness but I saw everything. I wasn’t sure if it was me but I ran away. I couldn’t’ return to the orphanage because I was afraid the police would find me. I lived on the streets for a week before my powers manifested again.” Your eyes fall to your fidgety hands, cracking your knuckles as it gave you some sort of relief.
“A kid was crossing the street without his mum knowing and a car was speeding on the road. I tried to reach out and pull him back in but the car was just inches away from us both. I caused a scene that couldn’t be ignored. S.H.I.E.L.D managed to find me and took me in.” Zemo’s eyes were tracking your every movement and expression in a way that Bucky didn’t like. As if you were something up for display and Bucky put his foot down.
He was getting protective of you and did not want Zemo to harbour any hidden intentions. Who knew what Zemo was thinking of?
Zemo spoke up before Bucky had the chance.
“Fascinating just fascinating. It’s like your powers had been dormant inside you all along. Are you even human?”
“Last time I checked, my blood is still red.” Your sarcastic response earned a laugh from Zemo and he stroked his chin as he continued to observe you quietly. Sensing he had more thoughts in his mind, you returned the questions back to him.
“You hate enhanced individuals so much, would you get rid of me if you had the chance?” Growing a smirk, Zemo wasn’t expecting you to ask him that and he was more than eager to give his reply.
“I am undecided, but you’re different. I can see you are more discreet than the others, just like Bucky over here.” Zemo made his final remark before he moved on to talking about the location that you were headed.
His words sunk in and you kept on thinking about how he hit the nail on the head.
Yes, you had to be more discreet. You could never proudly show off what you had, instead, you had to keep yourself hidden in order to protect yourself.
Recalling your S.H.I.E.L.D days, you remembered how you were told to keep your powers on a low profile by Director Fury himself.
Your lab results came back and it was discovered that you had a special gene in your DNA that could be identified. There weren’t any references or connections to existing research and findings so you were viewed almost as an abnormality.
It was then later discovered that your powers were connected to your life force and if you ever over-exerted yourself, you could possibly die. That almost happened back during the civil war between the Avengers. It was the first time you ever used your powers on a larger scale and you had even passed out at the end of the battle.
You remembered waking up in a hospital bed on the raft.
When you found refuge in Wakanda, you got to learn more about your powers with Shuri’s help. She believed as long as you trained your stamina and built up your strength, you could control your powers without ever worrying about being drained. That’s how you found yourself the privilege to receive special training with the Dora Milajae under King T’Challa’s request.
You definitely owed the Wakandans big time.
Seeing how you were uncharacteristically down, Bucky wanted to check in with you out of concern. However, he chose to restrain himself, thinking that you probably one to be left alone. He wished he could do more for you like you do for him.
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Before you knew it, you landed in Madripoor. An island nation that was lawless and dangerous, yet home to the darkest of black markets and underground businesses. Zemo said that all of you could not go in as yourselves and had to basically go in undercover.
You couldn’t hold back your laughter when Sam changed and came out in a fancy printed suit. He was to act as a real life promiscuous and rich man who really could have been his doppelgänger when you saw a picture of the man.
However, you weren’t one to laugh when Zemo asked you to act as one of Conrad Mack aka Smiling Tiger’s fling for the night. When you first received your outfit, you threw it back in Zemo’s face.
You were not the most comfortable with sexy and revealing clothing personally so you couldn’t imagine yourself wearing it at all. Zemo tried to convince you that Smiling Tiger’s women were all of a certain type so you had to go through with it in order to fit in.
Letting out a groan, you snatched the little champagne dress with an open keyhole back. The front was designed to give a loose look that shyly reveals your cleavage. The dress held onto your shoulders with thin straps and it overall gave the impression of a silk slip dress.
When you put it on, you wiped your clammy hands on the silk material and grimaced at how it barely covered your ass. You were grateful that the shoes you received had thick block heels as you had forgotten how to even walk in high heels anymore.
Swiping on the red lipstick for the final touch, you took a deep breath to calm your nerves as you looked in the mirror. You got this.
Stepping out of the changing room, you were met with the full attention of all three men and you put a finger up to warn them of making any unneeded comments.
“Damn Y/N. I mean this in the nicest way possible but this is an entirely different look for you. In a good way, of course.” Sam tried to compliment you seeing that you weren’t fully into your outfit.
“Thanks, Sam.” You knew his intentions were always pure and good, so you didn’t mind it much. As he and Zemo went off to discuss something, you saw that Bucky was still looking at you intently. He must think you look weird, you thought.
In all the years that Bucky have known you, it was the first time he has seen you looking like this. You always had gone for casual and comfortable looks in your daily life. The only time he has seen something different was when you put on your tailored suits for formal events.
He had to do a double-take when he saw how the little dress number hugged your figure in the right places.
Bucky knew he shouldn’t continue looking but his eyes fleeting quick glances when you were looking elsewhere. He always felt that you were one of the most beautiful people he knew on the inside, the fact that you could look past what he did and accept him for he was. He never felt that he had to pretend to be fine when you’re around because you were there to accept him for better or worst.
Seeing you now stirred up a different feeling inside of him. Why did you suddenly seem so attractive this time? He did not want to be that guy who viewed women differently because of the way they dressed. In fact, he was never the kind to like someone because of the way they look but more of how they make him feel.
However, observing how bashful and shy you look in front of him, Bucky suddenly felt rather nervous himself. He saw you taking a step towards and he swore his breath hitched as his mind was registering this scene in slow-motion.
Your hands came up to put his dog tags inside his black shirt before going for the zipper of his jacket. Your eyes fleetingly met his for a moment before you started saying something.
Bucky wasn’t able to process it as he was entirely focused on how you were casually helping him as you normally did, but his mind can’t help but think of it as an intimate gesture.
You continued to buckle up the belts of Bucky’s harness and couldn’t help but to relish in the act of caring for him. This was probably the only time you could fulfil your feelings of wanting to be close to him without crossing the line.
“All done.” Once you have adjusted the straps on his shoulder to make sure they were comfortable, you glanced to see Bucky looking down at you in a daze.
“Hey Buck, you there?” Calling for his attention, Bucky snapped back to reality as he saw you staring at him with a curious doe-eyed look. Clearing his thought, Bucky scrambled to recall what you had said and just continued looking at you in question.
You went on to ask if the straps were comfortable to which he nodded curtly. You grinned in satisfaction for a short moment before it fell into a tight-lipped smile.
“Bucky, are you really ok to go into character? I know how hard you worked to get away from all of that.” Implying how he had to act like the Winter Soldier for this undercover mission, Bucky took a deep breath before answering you.
“I’ll be fine. It’s just for this mission.” You just silently nodded at his words before signalling that you two should get a move on.
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All of you were heading to Low Town as Zemo named to find his informant, Selby. Zemo reminded everyone to stay in character regardless of the situation, if not the mission would be compromised and your lives could be at risk.
Zemo gave you a personal warning to avoid using your powers if possible. If your powers were revealed publicly, there was a high chance you were at a bigger risk than the rest because people would want to take you for their own.
It was not every day an enhanced individual with superpowers walks into Madripoor and you would definitely become a prize to be coveted.
You were first greeted by the hustle and bustle of the nightlife crowd. The neon signs lit up the incredibly dark streets followed by the loud booming music that could be heard from some of the places that you passed. Your eyes were focused on Zemo’s back as he led all of you to the location, refusing to make eye contact with anyone else.
Entering the crowded bar, you could hear Zemo speaking Russian to Bucky. You weren’t familiar with the language but you could make out one world, Soldat.
Sneaking your arms around Sam who was caught off, you gave me a pointed look that told him that the undercover work starts now. He gave you a brief nod before rolling out his shoulders and you pressed yourself closer to him, putting your acting face on.
All of you stood by the bar where the bartender greeted all of you.
“Hello, gentlemen. Wasn’t expecting you, Smiling Tiger.” The bartender nodded to Sam. His eyes moved over to meet yours before greeting you, Miss. You gave your best smile in return.
“His plans changed. We have business to do with Selby.” Zemo told the bartender. You could see the shift in his eyes and saw someone from out of the corner of your eye moving away. Shifting your stance, the bartender didn’t acknowledge Zemo’s words and glanced back to you again.
“New face?” His comment was directed towards Sam but seeing how Sam was hesitating, you realised that he hadn’t had much experience with undercover work at all. He was a military man not a spy or agent after all.
“Hopefully, the last.” You giggled shyly and looked up to Sam with an affectionate gaze before giving the bartender a wink.
The bartender nodded curtly before asking Sam (Smiling Tiger) if he wanted his usual. Sam nodded silently in an efforts to prevent himself from doing anything out of character.
You caught Bucky looking at you as he leaned sideways on the counter. Your silent exchange was a way for you two to check in with each other and a brief smile mirrored on both of your faces before you turn to see the bartender taking out a snake from a big jar.
Trying to control your expression at the disgust coming up your throat, you subtly swallowed heavily at the sight of how the bartender slit the snake open. Sam who had his back turned for a brief moment was shocked to see what was presented on the counter in front of him.
Zemo tried to continue to put on the act and acted like it was nothing out of the ordinary. Your global knowledge and several visits to Asia made you realised why this was the Smiling Tiger’s favourite. Snakes infused into wine was touted to be an aphrodisiac to help a man increase, ahem, stamina.
Bucky felt almost bad for Sam and looked away briefly. You could see Sam gulping down nervously when the bartender added the finishing touch to the drink and you gently rubbed his arm for emotional support.
“I love these.” Sam managed to say through gritted his teeth and clinked his glass with Zemo. Your own bile almost resurfaced and you quickly turned your head to hide your nervous gulp.
Putting up a thumbs up awkwardly, you wanted to facepalm when the bartender looked back at Sam with a dubious expression.
You knew you needed to do something so everyone’s covers won’t be blown. Putting on a sly smirk, you let a hand move up Sam’s chest slowly and sensually before resting it where his heart was.
“Looks like you and I will be in for a long night.” Adding a slight giggle, you pretended to act shy after you spoke your words. Sam was trying his hardest to not look bewildered at your act while Bucky was trying to suppress a sudden wave of annoyance that washed over him.
He knew that this was an act but he still didn’t like it for some reason. He had to admit that he was not expecting you to get into character so well, seeing that this image you were presenting was the furthest cry from who you actually were.
The bartender looked slightly less suspicious of all of you before he went away. You could feel Sam heaving a sigh of relief beside you and you did the same alongside him.
Another man came up to Zemo, telling him of how he was unwelcomed in the area. Zemo putting up a cool façade, explained he had no business with someone named the power broker. Zemo restated his business here once more before the guy left.
Zemo explained that the power broker runs Madripoor and it was best you all stayed under his radar. Moments passed before another guy came up behind Zemo and Zemo turned to Bucky talking in Russian once more.
The instant the man placed his hands on Zemo, Bucky went into winter soldier mode. Everyone’s attention was directed to the scene happening. The whirling sound of Bucky’s vibranium was heard clearly as he was nearly crushing the man’s hands and went ahead to knock him over.
More and more people started to gather fool’s courage to take on Bucky. You saw how he easily took down everyone with barely any sweat.
“Didn’t take much for him to fall back into form,” Zemo commented to you and Sam, and in all honesty, you wanted to choke him like what Bucky was doing to another guy on the bar’s counter.
Hearing the continuous clicking of guns from everyone in the bar, your senses were now alert at the possibility of having to break character and use your powers.
“Stay in character or the whole bar turns on us.” Zemo whispered into your ear and grabbed onto your hand before you could even think of doing anything.
Zemo got Bucky to back down and the bartender told you all that Selby was ready for your visit. Sam checked in with Bucky to which he responded with a curt nod.
As you made your way along the back end of the bar, you could see the stacks of cash all over a table and the armed guards that filled up every corner of the room.
“You should know, Baron. People don’t come into my bar and make demands.” Selby turned out to look like what you would imagine her to be. She sat comfortably on her couch with a dominant presence and seemed like she was not someone easy to deal with.
Zemo tried to reassure her that he was making offers not demands to quell her mood. Selby asked how Zemo was able to escape from prison and Zemo replied smugly on how people like them always found a way.
As Zemo tried to shift focus onto the order of business, Selby wasn’t still into it. Making a comment about Sam’s taller than usual height, Sam not knowing what to respond just nodded in silence.
She even purred at him teasingly before her eyes landed on you.
“Who’s this pretty little thing you have here? Where are you from?” Selby’s eyes narrowed in as you sense everyone starting to look flustered by the unexpected question. You were just meant to play a background character but didn’t expect the sudden attention.
Biting your lips into a furtive grin, you snaked your hands around Sam’s biceps. “Daddy picked me up from the club that I was working at. He says I am his one and only now.”
The men all tried to stop their jaws from dropping to the floor at your sweetly coy act. Who were you?
“Hmm…” Selby hummed while she looked you up and down. “You can do better, sweetie,” Selby remarked smugly before giving a subtle gesture to herself.
Lips forming into an ‘o’, you feigned a surprised reaction at the flattery. You tried to send a flirtatious look back so that Selby would be in a better mood.
Your act was rewarded when Selby grinned wider and asked Zemo for his offer. In exchange for information on the super-soldier serum, Zemo was willing to trade Bucky in pretence. He added how he would give Selby the codes word to control Bucky, treating him like an object.
A wave of anger started rushing through you as the scene unfolded and you glanced to see how Selby became more intrigued.
“Hmm, I have plenty of strong men already working for me. What else can he offer?” Zemo was taken aback by Selby’s words, thinking that she would already be interested in Bucky.
As the men were grappling to come up with a good response, you went on your first instinct and spoke up.
“Well he is rather handsome, isn’t he?” Everyone’s focus turned onto you and you took a breath to continue as Selby gave you an expecting look.
“Not as handsome as my daddy here but-” Walking around Sam, you headed towards Bucky who was trying to look unbothered but dying of curiosity on what you were about to do.
“He seems like fun to play with.” You purred as you gazed at Bucky’s profile. You gestured for Bucky to face you and could see how he was still staying in character. Running your fingers down his five o'clock shadow, your eyes glinted as you batted your lashes flirtatiously before looking over your shoulder back at Shelby.
“You can’t help but imagine having a good time with him. Super soldier serum should have some perks, no?” Your hidden innuendo was loud and clear to everyone in the room. If this didn’t appeal to Selby, you didn’t know what will.
Sam was trying his hardest to maintain his expression as he couldn’t believe his ears. Never in a million years would he think the sweet and innocent Y/N he knew actually dared to speak like that.
Bucky did his best to tighten his jaw and continue his stoic facade to hide the shock from what you had just said.
Never did he thought you would take the situation to such a turn. Your improv was unexpected and he couldn’t believe the woman in front of him was actually you.
Your sudden bold and cheeky persona was doing something to him. Your innuendo about him started to make him feel hot in his ears. Bucky had to clench his fist tightly to get himself to hold it together as he felt his heart racing out of nowhere.
He didn’t know what was happening to him but he knew you were having some sort of effect on him.
“Of course, that’s my silly opinion.” Turning to face Selby with a mischievous smile to keep up your character, you noted her looking at you thoughtfully as she rubbed her chin.
“Not just pretty but you’re witty, aren’t you?” Selby noted as she grinned like a Cheshire cat. Satisfied with your input, Selby then revealed what she knew about the super-soldier serums.
Apparently, there was a doctor, Dr William Nagel who has been helping the power broker to create the serums here in Madripoor. When Zemo tried to probe further about Nagel’s location, Selby decided that Zemo was overstepping.
In the very next moment, you could hear a vibration of a phone and saw Sam reaching out to his jacket.
Great, all of your covers might be blown. Selby demands that Sam answered it on speaker. The tension in the room could be cut with a knife. To carry on the act, Sam reluctantly proceeded to answer the phone.
A woman’s voice came up and in the next sentences spoken, you realised that she was his sister, Sarah. Oh boy, this wouldn’t end well. You closed your eyes in prayer as you hoped it can go over smoothly.
Taking a sharp intake of breath, you looked to see Bucky glancing down in shared unease. Sam was doing his best to make sure his cover won’t get blown. You thought all was going well but when you heard Sam’s name from Sarah, you knew you were all toast.
Selby immediately called for all of you to be killed and in that moment, all hell broke loose. Selby got shot in a blink of an eye and her guards were up in action. Bucky pushed you behind him protectively as he fought off Selby’s men.
Once all her guards are dealt with, Zemo called for weapons to drop and you took the back exit.
Making a swift escape, all of you tried to play it cool while taking long quick strides. The sound of the first gunshot made you jumped and sprang into a run. You saw Zemo took off in another direction but you didn’t have time for him.
You, Bucky and Sam decided to sprint ahead. “I can’t run in these heels.” Sam cried out and you retorted in annoyance.
“How do you think I feel? Mine’s twice as taller than yours!”
Bucky reached over to grab your hand and interlocked your fingers together. His super-speed was practically lifting you off the ground, dragging you like a rag dog.
"Hey! What the hell man? What about me?" Bucky ignored Sam's whining and focused on not letting your hand go.
Not knowing where you are headed, a sense of dread started pouring on you and you grew anxious by the second. People on motorbikes were starting to drive up behind you three.
You were wondering if it’s time to not give care and actually use your powers for real this time. All of a sudden, the two people on the bikes behind you have been shot by someone from above and you stopped in your tracks to locate that individual, fearing you were next.
Zemo reappeared from the shadows and claimed that you all might have a guardian angel.
“Drop it, Zemo.” The familiar voice brought relief as you matched it to the face that emerged into your sight.
Your smile at the thought of a friendly face faltered when she continued pointing a gun towards all of you. Sharon didn’t seem as pleased as you were. Turns out she had to fall off the grid and found herself in Madripoor after the turn of events many years ago.
"Y/N, is that you?" She took a double-take on you, probably not used to seeing you dress up like this.
"Hey." You awkwardly replied. The moment didn't last as Sharon trained her eyes on the men and continued to be hostile.
Your heart dropped as you hear her telling of how she was unable to be in contact with her family anymore. She had become a fugitive and still is. An immense amount of guilt washed all over you when she retorted about how she wasn’t backed by the Avengers.
You weren’t batch mates with Sharon back in S.H.I.E.L.D academy but you became friends when you crossed paths during work. You could not believe you haven’t reached out to her all this time.
Bucky pleaded with Sharon for her help and Sharon gave a thoughtful look at all of you. When she saw you with your uncomfortable expression, she gave a sighed and stated that she wasn’t done discussing the topic.
Offering refuge in her place at High Town, all of you accept it.
You sat beside her in the front and the two of you exchanged silent looks before she started the engine. What were the odds of seeing her again in Madripoor?
You hoped to be able to get a chance to talk to her later.
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Tag list: @tanyaherondale @spookycereal-s @cataves @conflicted-noxsirius
#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x oc#bucky x you#tfatws#marvel fanfiction#the falcon and the winter soldier#bucky barnes#beautiful pain#angstsfordays#bucky barnes fanfiction
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Debt to Be Paid: I
Summary: Earth fears intergalactic war with another planet. The Avengers are called to work out negotiations on Zevitar, the planet of peace. What happens when they are reunited with their long lost team member?
Warnings: dark!Bucky x reader, mentions of non/dub-con, age gap (reader is of age)
Notes: SHE’S HEREEEEEEE!!! Welcome to the first chapter of DTBP, the sequel to IOU!! If you’re new to this story make sure you check out IOU before you read this!! To all those who have read IOU... buckle up... Anyways enjoy!! Let me know what ya think! Please make sure to like, comment, reblog, inbox, and follow me for more! Enjoy :)
Throughout his lifetime Steve Rogers was exposed to many types of pain. Whether it was physical, mental, or emotional, Steve could handle just about anything life could throw at him. That was until he lost you. In all his years of fighting alongside the Avengers, having been responsible for the demise of half the world’s population, and the tons of toxic chemicals pumped into his body could never prepare him for the pain of losing a child. While there is no biological relation, Steve couldn’t help but mourn for the loss of his daughter.
When Sam and Tony had come to the island to end his vacation they were trying to keep quiet about the situation that occurred back home. It wasn’t until three hours into the flight back home that Tony finally cracked and told Steve what was up. Steve was in shock, his daughter fought and nearly killed his best friend? Impossible.
Needless to say, Steve Rogers was an emotional wreck once he got back to the compound. He saw the state of Bucky’s room, he saw where they kept you locked up, he saw the damage that had been done to Stephen and Wanda when you escaped. He saw parts of you that he never knew you held. How dark had you become since he left, he wondered on those late sleepless nights.
Steve didn’t speak for days. Instead, he spent them walking around the taped off ruins of his beloved compound. What was once a home for him and his family felt more like a cold, steel, jail cell. He was truly in hell without you.
The nights were filled with him lying awake in bed, eyes opened wide and darting to every corner of the room, praying that you would somehow walk out of the shadows and back to him. Instead of taking sleeping pills that Tony suggested to him, he would get up out of bed and start researching, questioning, and theorizing where it is that you could be.
After a few weeks and two overworked coffee machines later, Steve had created three possible theories about what could have happened to you:
Being an Avenger came with a handful of enemies.
Almost everyone on the team had their own enemies. From empty threats to stalker incidences, no one on the team was really safe. Any form of social media was constantly monitored, every time they were in a car there was security two cars behind, the second an Avenger leaves the tower they have surveillance on them 99.9% of the time.
Still, that .1% haunts Steve. He knows that people have their ways when it comes to the innovation of technology. Perhaps there was someone out there that was too good with computers. They hacked you, stalked you, and threatened you not to tell anyone. Maybe it got so out of hand to the point where you ran away for the protection of yourself and for the others. Maybe you attacked Bucky to keep the secret hidden or you got so scared that attacking him was an accident.
2. Everyone has their demons… maybe you had kept yours hidden too well.
As days grew longer, so did Steve’s suspicions. He never thought bad things about you. In fact, Steve knew there wasn’t a bad bone in your body. So why did he keep thinking you were secretly an evil person?
He theorized that there could’ve been another side to who you were. The nice and sweet you was all an act and you were waiting for an opportunity to show your true self. Between him not being around anymore and you now having full access to technology and weapons only Avengers have access to, you took advantage of your new found status and got carried away. Bucky found out and tried to put a stop to you and that’s how he ended up getting attacked. You broke out before you could face any consequences.
Steve shook his head at this theory. He knew you like he knew the layout of his old 40’s apartment. You’re not a bad person and never once have you said you hated someone. You never said you even hated Bucky, just upset that he didn’t seem to like you as much as the others did.
3. Being apart from Steve sent you towards a downwards spiral… basically it was all Steve’s fault that you’re gone.
This theory made a whole lot of sense, and none of it at the same time. Yes, everyone could confirm that you really missed Steve. You missed training with him and hanging out with him. You missed his presence around the compound as well. Something about Steve just made your days way better than when he wasn’t at the compound at all.
What didn’t make sense to anybody was why would you attack someone over this? Sure, you missed Steve, but nobody thought you missed him so much to the point of nearly killing someone. Bucky did give you a hard time, but as far as the Avengers knew it was just some name calling you didn’t appreciate.
Everyone recounted their last few days with you at the compound. You seemed okay, nothing out of the usual for you. However, Peter did speak up saying you seemed a bit jumpier and a little bit down and out than usual. Again, it chalked up to you missing Steve really bad. Then there was the matter of Stephen and Wanda.
They were your last victims before you escaped. The pair had gone through extensive questioning. However, they both had the same story. Wanda and Strange had tried to calm you down, but things got out of hand and you ended up lashing out at them.
Steve hit a brick wall at this point. How could no one know what happened to you? He tried hacking into security cameras from that day, but he was met with a disappointing glare from Tony and a handful of security to escort him out of the room meant for their investigation.
What was there even to investigate? You were gone and as far as anybody knew, there was no trace of you in New York, the United States, and pretty much any other country that agents were sent out to look for you. Steve guessed they only continued because Bucky needed to get some sort of justice or closure, but he swears that he was attacked for no reason. Everyone knew about their slight tension, but thought it wouldn’t go as far as leaving Bucky hospitalized.
Bucky kept quiet after Steve came back. Truth be told, he feared what his friend might do to him if the truth got out. He made sure to delete any evidence he could off his computer of you. When he visited you those last days, he managed to fuck up something in the control room that cut off the audio of him talking. No one had called him in to question his meeting with you, and Bucky was relieved because he needed more time to come up with the perfect excuse.
Now all he had to do was get rid of Wanda and Stephen, or get them off his back. He knows that they must know something. Tensions around the compound have been high around the three of them. The pair had been cold towards him after the attack, only going so far as signing a ‘Get Well Soon’ card and pitching in a few dollars for a thing of flowers, but that was all.
Wanda and Strange wasted no time after their questioning was over. They got right to work trying to compile all the evidence they could to expose Bucky. Unfortunately, it was proving to be more difficult than expected.
Bucky’s room had been blocked off by agents. He had to change rooms until the investigation was cleared. Everything in the room remained untouched, but no Avengers, besides Tony, had access to the room.
Strange and Wanda even went in from another angle and enlisted Peter to help find that security footage, but so far everything was blocked off to them. It seemed like there was one dead end after another. If the pair weren’t fast in their findings, they might never get justice for you. Even if you were long gone, Bucky shouldn’t get away with what he did.
No matter what, the pair of Avengers new they needed to finish the job you attempted to start… and Stephen Strange and Wanda Maximoff will be damned if justice wasn’t served.
~Meanwhile~
You emptied your stomach of breakfast later in the day. Same as yesterday, the day before that, and the day before that… something’s got to be up?
Maybe it was nerves? That could explain a lot seeing as the nightmares weren’t letting up anytime soon.
Seeing images of Bucky Barnes every time you close your eyes led to a lot of sleepless nights. It led to much more than sleepless nights, but you tried your best to listen to Carol’s advice and put the past behind you. Sadly, it would take a lot more than blocking that vile man from your thoughts.
Carol saw how you were feeling sick everyday. She also tried to put the worst out of her head, but curiosity piqued. It was important for her to tell you, but it was also important that you found out now before you were back on your home planet alone and scared.
When she first suggested that you may be pregnant, you laughed in her face, then you cried, then were angry, then depressed. There was no possible way, right? You remembered to take your birth control every night, right?
Okay, now you were freaking out. There was one night you might’ve forgot to take it, and that time spent in your jail cell, and maybe one or twice while on a mission.
Now you were panicking.
You forgot some days to take birth control, you were off it for a couple of days too. Bucky was relentless. The possibilities were leading towards confirmation. Every sign of pregnancy pointed to yes.
You tried to deny it for a week, but as you looked at the remnants of today’s breakfast being flushed down the toilet again you collected yourself and came towards acceptance. Coming out of the bathroom, Carol was right there with a quirked brow. She was about to say something, but you opened your mouth first.
“FUCK!”
#dark!bucky barnes#dark!bucky x reader#bucky x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes smut#dark!bucky#dark!winter soldier#winter solider#James Buchanan barnes#James Barnes#dark!marvel#dark!avengers#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#mcudarklibrary#debt to be paid#IOU
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Expanding into my other Fandoms (I’m gonna have to take a stance) Read the whole thing please.
One of my oldest and most beloved anime is Inuyasha. As of late I have been binged watching the hell out of it as I am getting my BFF into different anime shows. We are really close to entering the Yashahime part of the series, and she asked if I planned to write fanfiction involving the one character which made me even watch the show as a 10-year-old.
Sesshomaru
The first episode I ever watched involved this aloof, entitled dog fighting his brother over the sword in their father’s grave. Specifically, it was part 3 of that whole episode series were Kagome pulled out the sword. I at the time had 3 dogs of German Sheppard/wolf hybrid, they were MASSIVE dogs, fell in love with the big white fluff that was Sesshomaru’s demon form. I use to sneak staying up and watch the show faithfully to see the goodest boy as it was only on at 11pm EST on adult swim. Which meant it was bad and I was breaking the rules, I felt like a rebel.
Now I hesitated answering that question. She has no idea of what is in Yashahime, she is being careful not to spoil it so I told her I didn’t know. Recently, to find out what the feel is for Sesshomaru content, I looked into the tag on tumblr…
OH MY GOD.
Sesshomaru’s tag is FLOODED with hate. Like every four post, there is hate, distain, and attacking happening. As someone who watches Yashahime, I quickly knew why.
Sessrin.
Even now I sigh. And I sigh HARD. I am not for, nor am I against the Sessrin train. Same for the Sesskagu train. I think both sides need to look at things on a logical prospective. I plan to do just that. I know I will get hate from the either side and maybe some support as well. But if I am going to do anything in this fandom (as I like doing ships and reader inserts) it will come up.
So, like my Kaiba post, and my Sebastian Heel post, I will use my research skills as well as my COLLEGE DEGREE WHICH HAS BOTH ART AND MEDIEVAL HISTORY labelled on it to explain why this progression in the story is normal to anti-Sessrin fans and why this isn’t a crime by story standards nor should we look at it as a crime.
AS WELL
Explain to Sessrin fans why it is so weird for non-shippers to see it play out and why so much hate formed.
As I let out another sigh, we shall begin. Let’s start at an historical prospective. (Links at the bottom).
PLEASE READ THE WHOLE THING! I’LL BE ABLE TO TELL!
~~
I will start with the information I can access right away.
While finding charts on the life-span of common folk in 1590’s Feudal Japan is rather difficult, Ancient.edu states that the average lifespan was about 50. To put this in perspective, the average lifespan of Europeans at the time was somewhere between 40-45 with the latter being rare. Since most of us reading are not from Japanese descent, I will through Europe in this first.
If we look at the same time frame of 1590, we are looking at most of Western Europe had now entered the age of Renaissance. According to sources from Learning Resources in association with the National Gallery of Art, marriage was not what TV drama’s from HBO or Hulu depicted. By today standards they would be a crime, as the average age for marriage of an adult female was age 14…
The reasoning behind the young marriage age had multiple factors. First being, females were considered an adult once they were menstruating. Birthing also proved to be fatal, and since the lifespan was at best 40 and 45 if they were lucky, there was really no room to wait. Also Europe at the time had became hugely focused on making sure blood lines were legitimate, meaning to ensure the girl was a virgin, the moment she was able to reproduced she was married off. Those they married were not young teenagers either. Most marriages, a man would be in their thirties, and had probably multiple wives as women died more than men when not counting the battle field.
To make matters worse for the Renaissance Lady, these marriages would leave many young males unable to marry and if their husband died in battle, well, unfortunately they were not seen as desirable. This was due to the idea of a ‘free woman’. Should the girl not have a father, brother or uncle to return to as they too died, a widow had her freedom. But that freedom came at a cost. She would be assumed to have slept around, and in many writings, such as the Canterbury Tales, where Geoffrey Chaucer writes about a Window on a pilgrimage to the Holy Land survived her five husbands and the men in her family. In short, she was made to be a slut and to be looked down upon as no man controlled her.
The point of talking about Europe is because that is something most of us Non-Asian or Japanese people consume and like to paint in large romantic brush strokes of knights and magic. Honestly, reading G.R.R.Martin Song of Ice and Fire, he uses this model as we see the Queen of Dragons, Danny start off at age thirteen shortly after she had her first menstruation.
Now let’s look at Feudal Japan.
As stated before, the lifespan was around 50 years. In some populations, this was even shorter. Nagaoka, Hirata, Yokota and Matsu’ura’s on demographic data at the Yuigahama-minami area in Kamakura, Japan and found both male and female remains that suggested life expectancy to have ended around age 24-25. This was largely due to living conditions and public health. In areas like these, it would make the most sense to marry and repopulate quickly as the expectancy of life was half the national average at the time.
To my frustration, I could not find a clear marriage age for Japanese women at the time of the edo period. HOWEVER, where there is a will there is a way. I took a look at famous Lords or Daimyo’s of the time. The average age of marriage of their wives was between 12-14. Much younger than I expected, but it made sense considering this is a time where war ran the show and marriage was strictly about political gain. One of these Daimyo’s was Masamune Date, who was also 13, but then as he got older took concubines who became considerably younger than him as he became older. The goal was to have as many children as possible for hires and for political marriages to gain power.
Now lets look at Inuyasha the MANGA
Lets get the manga timeline proper here. The whole adventure took place in 11 months, a month shy of Kagome’s 16th birthday. Doing a few estimations, Rin would have travelled with Sesshomaru about 8-9 of those months. But before we get into the relationship, lets look at something the ANIME made a huge mistake with in the beginning and tried to fix as the story went on.
For some reason I could only fine gifs for the Early appearances of Sesshomaru so bear with me.
Early appearances in the manga
^ He was so fickle and a trickster then...
Now early apperances in the anime.
Later appearance in the manga
Laster appearance in the anime
Notice the issue here?
Sesshomaru was CONSIDERABLY younger looking in the start of the manga. In the anime, he started off looking like an fully adult male. But as the anime went on, they tried to make Sesshomaru look younger with subtle changes to his jaw line, eye size, and his height. Yeah, his height had changed. They made him shorter.
While in the manga, we see this young-teen looking demon, slowly mature over 11 months to look like he is in his later teens and by series end, closer to being in his late teens or twenty. Yes, art changes over time, but the anime went a reverse route. I can only guess they spoke to the author of Inuyasha about her ships, as they did Drama CDs, and realized the mistake that was made in making him more mature than he was.
You can’t tell me he doesn’t look closer to his manga self in the final act, because he does.
Since we are on the topic of the anime, lets be clear. The anime timeline and manga timeline are very different. The story in the anime (in the English) suggests that OVER a year has past since Kagome started her journey. They try to fix this in the final act, but it was still so muddled as previous seasons are to be taken as cannon. This could have been due to an translation error in the early production when the anime no longer had anymore manga material to reference. But whatever the case, for English viewers the time the group spent together felt much longer.
So now we come to the heart of the issue.
Because of the mistakes of the anime, a lot of anti-sessrin see the relationship as father daughter. I’ll be honest, watching the anime and solely the anime as a teenager and as an adult (as the manga was on hold for a very long time due to author’s health. I was in college when it finished.), I too thought it was just a father-daughter relationship and Jaken the nanny who got punched all the time. In fact, the English took hard liberties with Kagura, as the English dubs often do with characters, and made it very clear her feelings for the demon lord and Sesshomaru very much recognized them (though he never responded). Even in her death scene, it felt as if he was saying good bye to a friend more than love interest. But who really knows, as there are things that point otherwise. When another demon mock’s Kagura’s death, Sesshomaru gets super pissy.
The manga did also play with this fact when it came out in English, idk if the wording or message is different in the Japanese. Translation errors happen a lot even in todays releases, look at Kuroshitsuji. So of course most anti-sessrin’s did not see this coming in Yashahime when Rin was named mother. In fact it felt like a betrayal as we were sure Sesshomaru had no romantic feelings.
Then there was the Kohaku/Rin mashup that was hinted left and right. The English anime, with its overly dramatic and blunt emotions made it appear one way. That in the end the two kids would probably be married. Then the anime as a whole made Sesshomaru older than intended. I can see why and understand how this became a problem.
On the other side of that coin.
If you followed the dub, seen ‘Swords of an Honorable Ruler’ and read the manga… Sesshomaru was not fatherly to Rin at all. In fact, Jaken picked up all of that leg work. Rin worried for Kohaku, but clearly loved Lord Sesshomaru. Sesshomaru cared about Kagura but he almost CRIED when he lost Rin.
We have to remember that Sesshomaru and Rin’s relationship must have been very hard for the demon. While we never see his mental process expect for a few rare times, we have to remember he hated humans. In the movie, he blamed a human for the early death of his father, Sesshomaru killed without mercy. It made sense that he wouldn’t be fatherly to Rin as her just being there should have caused countless inner conflicts. Hell, he even says his father’s weakness was humans, and look who picked up that trait.
Sesshomaru was designed to, someday, walk in his father’s footsteps. So sess/rin, not a surprise. Also when you see it in a historical perspective, Rin having kids around age 15-16, makes sense. In fact you could argue he waited too long for the time period.
We also need to look more at the manga when concerned with Yashahime. 8-9 months is all Rin travelled with him and he was like hold up, and left her at the village because he KNEW she needed to come to her own conclusion. That no matter what she picked he would live with and protect her. Unconditional love on his end. She cannon wise spent YEARS living with humans and MONTHS with Sesshomaru. Again, by manga standards of cannon.
Now I can already hear the screaming about age and what not. Some sources say Sesshomaru is over 900, by the rule of thumb, if we look at anime and movie releases, we have Sesshomaru being over 500 with no define age and Inuyasha around 270 years old being more pinpointed due to the movie. Just by going by ANIME CANNON. Kagome and Inuyasha, you have a 15 year old with a 270 year old man. If you say being pinned to the tree doesn’t count, then you have 220.
Also, here is something very interesting. In the episode where Inuyasha meets the unmother, he tells her, thinking it was his mom, she died when he was very small and we have flash backs later in the series of him being small running from demons. Demons clearly age much slower than humans, even half-demons. Inuyasha can be 270 but mentally and physically be 15, the same logic works for Sesshomaru, who in the manga is not much older than Inuyasha.
In the manga, there wasn’t any grooming, in the anime, there was a ton of mess-ups but no grooming.
Would this fly in todays world? HELL NO! NO, its gross, she’s a kid. Stop.
I know any fanfic I write will lean heavily on the side of father/daughter because that is what I grew up seeing on the screen. I can’t think of Rin as an adult because years of seeing her as a cheerful little girl. It’s like seeing G.O.T Arya about to have sex for the first time in season 8… I remember when she was a kid on the show. It was way to weird and I had to look away until it ended. But that’s my 2021 mentality.
But Inuyasha is not taking place in 2021. Feudal Japan is a whole other era with its own beliefs, morals and way of life. Those who understand this have nothing wrong with them. They just understand history.
Also, just to bang some nails in…
Anyone remember Bleach? Remember the MOST accepted couple was Ichigo and Rukia…. Rukia who was hundreds of years old and Ichigo who was 15… or Ichigo’s mom who was a teenager and his dad also hundreds of years old.
Most of this also boils down to Sesshomaru being a dude. As in reverse roles in animes its accepted and they don’t have the same historical context. Inuyasha is based off of historical context of Feudal Japan.
We need to stop spreading hate. We can’t accept some forms of literature because its European fantasy but bash other fantasy based literature for doing the same thing.
Sure, its weird for those who were use to seeing the father/daughter dynamic. Yes, there are extreme sessrin fans who post really questionable illegal content when they decide to leave Rin as an 8-year-old…
But this wasn’t ever meant to be perverted. The story was meant to make sense on a logical and historical base.
I hope everyone takes the time to read this. I love Inuyasha, I love Sesshomaru. I am just sick of seeing so many people fighting over what should be the revival of a beloved series. While yes, there is still room for sess/rin not being a thing, until it is stated otherwise, why hate each other? This fandom will only lose people by doing this. Calling people names or accusing them of illegal endorsement can hurt someone these days over social media.
Tumblr allows you to block tags. You don’t have to read anything or watch anything you don’t like. We gain nothing from attacking each other but can lose so much by doing so. Fanart, really good fan fiction, friends, ideas, sharing fond memories. Both sides have the right to feel as they feel, but no right in hurting each other.
A fandom is meant to bring people together. Not start a war…
Thank you.
https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/ajpa.20402
http://www.italianrenaissanceresources.com/units/unit-2/essays/husbands-and-wives/#:~:text=Marriage%20not%20only%20reflected%20order,to%20ensure%20the%20bride's%20virginity.
https://www.ancient.eu/Canterbury_Tales/
https://www.ancient.eu/article/1424/daily-life-in-medieval-japan/#:~:text=Just%20as%20Japanese%20people%20today,in%20Western%20Europe%2C%20for%20example.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Date_Masamune
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Megohime
#to the inuyasha fandom with love#to the inyasha fandom#inyasha fandom#sesshomaru fandom#rin fandom#sessrin#anti-sessrin#history#facts#logic#make love not war#fandoms are meant to bring people together#stop the hate#stop the fighting#no one is wrong#no one is right#let people do what they want#end the ship wars#please stop fighting#sesshoumaru x rin#anti sessrin#I know I am asking for trouble#yeah#Yeah I threw the bleach fandom under the bus#sorry Bleach#Sorry RukiaxIchigo shippers#read the whole thing#yes you#Inyasha#Sesshomaru
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May TBR--
I don’t know how this happened (okay, lies, I do know how this happened), but I only physically own two of the ten books I plan on reading in the month of May. My physical TBR this month is failing so hard. But I am picking up books on my kindle and through NetGalley this month so let’s talk about them.
Kindle--
1. The Vital Abyss by James S. A. Corey-- Technically book #5.5 in The Expanse series. It’s the 10th work in the series. I’m not sure what this novella explores, but I love this series so much and will continue reading everything from it.
2. Mixed Signals by Mia Heintzelman-- This is another book in the Ten First Dates anthology that I mistakenly purchased when it went on sale for Kindle. It has ten full length romance novels in the anthology that are all first books in a series. This one is about a man and a woman who the universe keeps putting together despite the fact that she “pre-hates” him before they’ve ever formally met. I really just want to knock out this anthology this year. Four left, we can do it. Starting with this one.
3. The Humans by Matt Haig-- This one is a book from my 40 Books Before 40 project. An alien imposter must destroy evidence of a human’s mathematical break through while pretending to be mathematician Professor Andrew Martin. I’ve heard this is a funny look at humanity from an outsider’s perspective.
4. Fortune Favors the Cruel by Ken Carpenter-- The first in a series. Quinn, freed from the chains of slavery, wants nothing more than vengeance against those who sold her. Lazarus Fierte is a controlling and stubborn noble who has been waiting for a woman to appear--a Maji of great power, capable of terrible things. She could be his savior or his destroyer. The only thing he didn’t predict was that she would become both.
NetGalley--
1. Fake It Till You Bake It by Jamie Wesley-- The short synopsis on GoodReads says, “A reality star and a cupcake-baking football player pretend to be a couple in order to save his bakery in this sweet and sexy romance from Jamie Wesley.” Stop. Stop. I requested the ARC already. A fake dating trope??? Cupcakes??? Sports??? You’ve got me.
2. Wake the Bones by Elizabeth Kilcoyne-- The synopsis for this one is pretty mysterious. A girl named Laurel just wanted to resume her life as a tobacco hand after dropping out of college. But a devil from her past has returned and now she has to unravel her mother’s terrifying legacy and tap into her own magic before the fate of everyone she loves is doomed. It looks dark and fantastical so I’m excited for it.
New Release--
1. Dig Two Graves by Gretchen McNeil-- A late April release that I’m hoping to get to this month. This is a take on the noir film Strangers on a Train. In this novel, Neve and Diane meet at a girl’s empowerment camp and jokingly promise to kill each other’s problems. It was just a joke...right? At least that’s what Neve thinks until her ex-best friend winds up dead.
2. A Show for Two by Tashie Bhuiyan-- I read and thoroughly enjoyed this author’s debut novel so this one went straight into my cart to preorder. This one also seems like it’ll be a Young Adult romance novel. We follow Emmitt, an indie film star, as he tries to lie low at a regular high school in order to research a role. Mina acts as his tour guide in exchange for him being in her short film.
Physical--
1. Nemesis Games by James S.A. Corey-- Book #5 in The Expanse. This series follows James Holden and his crew as they continue to explore the expanding galaxy. This is so far into the series that I don’t think I can explain the plot more than that. But we follow a crew whom I love and would die for. And the science just works.
2. Lumberjanes Vol. 16: Mind Over Mettle-- In this comic series we follow the girls of the Roanoke cabin at Miss Qiunzilla Thiskwin Penniquiqul Thistle Crumpet’s Camp for Hard-Core Lady-Types as they face supernatural creatures and earn merit badges.
#monthly tbr#may tbr#monthly to be read pile#may to be read pile#tbr#to read#to be read#to be read pile#this month is going to be so weird#romance#murder mystery#dark fantasy#science fiction#sci-fi#comics#I'd apologize#but I'm not sorry#the expanse#mixed signals#the humans#fortune favors the cruel#fake it till you bake it#wake the bones#dig two graves#a show for two#nemesis games#the vital abyss#lumberjanes
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600 cubes of Nazi uranium went missing in the US. These scientists are on the hunt
https://sciencespies.com/humans/600-cubes-of-nazi-uranium-went-missing-in-the-us-these-scientists-are-on-the-hunt/
600 cubes of Nazi uranium went missing in the US. These scientists are on the hunt
On someone’s desk, one of the little gray cubes wouldn’t raise an eyebrow. To the untrained eye, they look like paperweights.
“Marie Curie‘s granddaughter has one. She uses it as a doorstop,” Miriam Hiebert, a historian and materials scientist, told Insider.
The weight of the 2-inch (5 cm) objects might be surprising, though – each is about 5 pounds (2 kg). That’s because they’re made of the heaviest element on Earth: uranium.
The cubes were once part of experimental nuclear reactors the Nazis designed during World War II. As far as researchers know, only 14 cubes remain in the world, out of more than 1,000 used in Nazi Germany’s experiments with nuclear weapons.
Over 600 were captured and brought back to the US in the 40s. But even after that, what happened to most of the cubes is still unclear.
Hiebert and Timothy Koeth, a professor of material science and engineering at the University of Maryland, are writing a book about the cubes. After years of research, they told Insider they think they know what happened.
Miriam Hiebert and Timothy Koeth. (John T. Consoli/UMD)
Small cubes with a long history
Koeth describes the cubes as “the only living relic” of Nazi Germany’s nuclear effort.
“They are the motivation for the entire Manhattan project,” he said.
Leading up to the war, Germany was a world leader in physics, and the science of nuclear energy was in its infancy. In 1938, German chemist Otto Hahn revealed that he’d created fission by blasting neutrons at a uranium core.
Scientists fleeing Europe, including Albert Einstein and Enrico Fermi, alerted the US that Germany could develop an atomic bomb. The arms race was on.
In its natural form, uranium is not very radioactive. So the cubes aren’t very dangerous. But apply a neutron to uranium, specifically the isotope U-235, and it cracks open “like a piñata,” as Koeth put it.
“You smash it open with a neutron, and new elements come out, and also more neutrons,” he said.
To create an explosion, this must happen in a chain reaction: The neutron gets captured by another uranium atom, which splits open, creating more neutrons, and so on. To make that possible, the neutrons need to get slowed down by a substance called a moderator.
The US used graphite for that, and it worked. Scientists with the Manhattan Project created a self-sustaining nuclear chain reaction in December 1942. But the leaders of Nazi Germany’s nuclear program, Werner Heisenberg and Kurt Diebner, picked heavy water as their moderator: water in which the hydrogen atoms are replaced with deuterium. Cubes of uranium would be dipped into the water.
The Nazis developed two prototype reactors, the larger of which had 664 uranium cubes strung from a plate and suspended over a pit of heavy water. The smaller reactor used about 400 cubes.
The “Alsos” mission
The Allied forces didn’t know how far along the Nazi nuclear program was. And they were nervous.
So in 1943, the Allies launched a secret mission – the codename was “Alsos” – to find out. A team of about a dozen people, including soldiers, scientists, and interpreters, traveled through Italy, France, and Germany searching for traces of the Nazis’ nuclear experiments. Then as the war neared its end, the mission’s objective shifted to making sure nuclear material (or scientists) wouldn’t make it into the hands of the Soviets.
In April 1945, Allied forces found and captured about 1.6 tons of uranium cubes in southern Germany. Heisenberg, his team, and the larger of Germany’s two reactors – neither of which ever worked – had previously been hiding there. Nearly all the cubes were sent back to the US. The Alsos mission never found the smaller reactor.
Alsos intelligence officers after locating German uranium cubes, Haigerloch, Germany. (Samuel Goudsmit/AIP Emilio Segrè Visual Archives)
Cubes were picked off the pile
After the cubes arrived in the US, Hiebert said, their trail went cold. The US was highly secretive about its own nuclear program, so there aren’t many public records about the Nazi uranium.
“We currently know of 14, out of almost 1,000 that existed in total,” she said, “so most of them are still unaccounted for.”
But those 14 offer clues about what may have happened to the rest.
Koeth, who has been an avid collector of nuclear objects since his early teens, has two of the 14. Both were given to him by colleagues. The first was a birthday present about a decade ago, but the giver asked to remain anonymous and Koeth won’t reveal how they got the cube.
It came with a handwritten note that read: “Taken from Germany from nuclear reactor Hitler tried to build. Gift of Ninninger.”
The note that accompanied Koeth’s cube. (Timothy Koeth)
Robert D. Nininger, it turns out (his name has just one n), was a geologist for the US Atomic Energy Commission in the 50s. Koeth and Hiebert found documents that show he worked with the Manhattan Project. Geologists with the project had the difficult job of sourcing uranium.
“Just figuring out where to get it from was a huge task,” Hiebert said.
Koeth’s other cube came from a former faculty member at the University of Maryland, who in turn had gotten it from another faculty member, Dick Duffey. During the war, Duffey, a chemical engineer, had worked at a plant in Beverly, Massachusetts, that processed scrap uranium, Koeth said.
Based on these findings and others, Hiebert and Koeth think most of the Nazi cubes that made it to the US were repurposed and used in America’s own nuclear program. But some, they think, got “picked off the pile” and kept as souvenirs.
As for the 400 cubes from the second reactor, Hiebert and Koeth found some documents suggesting they were sold on the black market to what became the USSR.
From a nuclear reactor to counter-proliferation efforts
The Pacific Northwest National Laboratory owns another one of the Nazi cubes but doesn’t have records documenting its history.
So two scientists there, Jon Schwantes and Brittany Robertson, recently figured out a new way to date the cube – and other uranium products – more precisely than was previously possible. To do so, they measured the levels of two atoms, protactinium and thorium, that accumulate over time as uranium decays.
In a presentation last month at the annual meeting of the American Chemical Society, Schwantes and Robertson revealed that when they applied the method to their lab’s cube, the results put it squarely in the expected age range – it dates back to the years Nazi Germany was developing nuclear weapons.
Today, though, the cube has a different function: “The primary purpose it is used for is training,” Schwantes told Insider.
The national laboratory teaches security personnel how to recognize nuclear and radioactive material on sight. So the cube offers a good training example.
“I find that really kind of an interesting storyline for this cube – that it was first produced for somebody’s nuclear program, and now it’s being used for nuclear nonproliferation,” Schwantes said.
This article was originally published by Business Insider.
More from Business Insider:
#Humans
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tw // s*lf harm, su*cidal ideation (sorry)
Hey, it’s the creepy NHS anon here.
Thank you for responding to my ask! I’m sorry you had such a rough time getting a diagnosis. You shouldn’t have had to go through all of that. Honestly it sucks that the NHS is so reluctant to diagnose anything mental health related.
When I was 14 I thought I had depression and anxiety. I finally convinced my mum to take me to the doctors when I was 16. The doctor was super nice. She tested my thyroid function just to make sure nothing else was causing my feelings, then referred me to CAMHS. That was…an interesting experience. I remember asking my counsellor to diagnose me, but then at the next session she said she couldn’t, that it “wouldn’t be helpful” because I was still growing. Now that I think about it, one of the days I was at school and during a class I was furious for some reason. I even said to a classmate that I was willing to fight anyone who got in my way. Despite my mum disagreeing with me, I cancelled my appointment that day. (My mum was worried they’d stop my sessions all together if I cancelled, but they didn’t.)
Fast toward to recent years and I’ve been on and off attempting to get a diagnosis. Last year (so when I was about 18) I asked to be referred to the autism clinic, and thankfully the GP accepted, but the clinic is still closed and even when it’s open I’ll still have to wait, possibly several years. Then I made another appointment (different GP) to be referred to a psychiatrist. She refused, saying that GPs are trained to deal with mental health issues. I brought up OCD, so she asked where I got my information from. When I told her I researched it online, she just brushed it off and then did the typical depression/anxiety test and she said both were severe, then said “take some drugs” (which is didn’t because I didn’t trust taking drugs prescribed by someone who did a 3 minute yes/no type quiz without actually fully exploring my issues).
I spoke to a different GP just over a month ago to get a fit note for my Universal Credit. It was supposed to just be to make adjustments to what I was supposed to do, but he didn’t ask what the note was for, so he marked unfit for work. Which is great because that’s secretly what I wanted but feared being judged by people around me for thinking I needed that (particularly my parents). I mentioned that I thought I could have OCD and CPTSD, and he didn’t deny it but he simply said CBT helps for both. He then asked if I was currently doing CBT and I said I’d done it before but I quit. (That’s a whole other story but tldr I really don’t think it was for me, or at least the “therapist” wasn’t.) He said he would send a self referral link.
Fast forward to a few days ago and I had another appointment with him to discuss my fit note (because it only lasts for a month and you have to go back to renew it, which sucks). He asked if I had referred myself to CBT and I said I hadn’t yet because I didn’t want to, and he said “please do that for me” in a somewhat stern voice. I then brought up BPD and I think he said he would refer me? Honestly I was a bit overwhelmed because he called 40 mins early and I was in the car with my dad, so I was super weary of him asking questions about what I was saying to the doctor (but he didn’t). He then brought up PD support groups, which I’m considering doing, but you have to call up the place and I literally hate phone calls. Oh, speaking of which, all the appointments from the autism one onwards were all on the phone, so not only was I struggling to process what they were saying to me most of the time, but I was also so anxious that I couldn’t articulate my feelings properly. :)
Anyways, I am 20 now, which I only mention because I feel the same as what you mentioned. My brother is married, my childhood crush is married, my friend who I introduced to my friend group who then proceeded to discard me is getting married. Everyone seems to know exactly what they’re doing. They all have friends. But not me. I haven’t had friends since I was 14, and even then I don’t think that friend group was entirely wholesome. They made me feel like an outcast, like I was weird, that I needed to be more like them and not be like me. Which has probably contributed to me having a very vague sense of identity. And I feel like I’m still 14 and yet everyone is expecting me to behave like an adult. I’m supposed to know what I’m doing with my life even tho I literally cried in the shop when I was pressured to choose between 2 pizzas.
I have no support system. My own parents seem very dismissive of my problems, equating everything to social anxiety. When I’m stressed out of mind to the point of feeling suicidal, my parents say “that’s just life”, which…well, feeds into the feelings. For years I’ve felt stressed. Then if I’m not stressed I feel absolutely nothing. And if I’m not feeling empty I am angry, sometimes for no reason. And if I’m not angry, I am curled in a ball trying to bottle up the urge to self harm and batting away suicidal thoughts.
It’s like I have a huge chain pulling me down underwater and everyone else is in the beach drinking cocktails or something. Sometimes I thrash and try to get people to notice, but people think I’m just having fun. Other days I just feel like letting the chain pull me down.
Please forgive me for rambling and probably not having a very consistent train of thought in this post. I have a tendency to blab on about my “problems” (if they even are that), I guess as a way to connect? Idk. This post makes no sense.
I hope you’re having a good day. <3
- 🌸✨ (in case I send another ask again, but I’ll try not to because I don’t wanna bother you)
So sorry you're going through something similar. My GP sounded exactly how yours was, the typical anxiety/depression test and then just throwing those at you.. they dont seem to be trained in diagnosing and they dont want to hear anything more either. It's honestly almost impossible getting a diagnosis through them, the system here is really messed up... its just disappointing and seems to be failing so many people including you.
It does sound like you're going through a hard time, it's not nice especially when you feel a loss of self identity, you dont even know who you are and just feel lost in life. I think that was definitely the main point of realising something was up.. I had a VERY distorted view of myself and others around me and that was why I'd often self sabotage everything and then I'd feel so empty and angry at the world and just explode...
If you can go privately then do so, therapists are not able to diagnose and they will usually tell you 'we don't like to label' but even without a diagnosis you can still see if you can access DBT therapy. Amazon also has lots of DBT workbooks that I've used and its helped me to really understand myself!
If you often feel invalidated by your parents then that is known to cause BPD or borderline traits, especially if you've been suffering with mental illness in childhood and they tried to claim that it was nothing....you mentioned anxiety and I was told the approach my parents may have took to my severe anxiety is what brought on many of my symptoms of BPD. You start to feel ashamed of yourself for feeling that way because your caregivers make it seem like the issue isnt important and you feel as if your feelings dont matter also because that is how you have been made to feel.
I'm not saying this is definitely the cause but in my case I was told that the constant feeling of invalidation may be why I have such a warped idea of myself and why I cannot regulate my emotions. I was never told HOW to regulate or shown how to, just told to ignore my emotions and now I dont know how to deal with them😀
but yeah I'd really recommend taking a look at some of those dbt books online or reading more into it so you have a better understanding of yourself. You've already taken the first step and that's identifying that something may be wrong so you are self aware and clearly want to change for the better 💕
I hope everything works out for you, it's not nice feeling this way but you've got this 🥺🙌
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round up // AUGUST 21
Happy 2nd birthday to these Round Ups! For two years I’ve been making monthly pop culture picks, and they’ve included:
More than 200 movies
32 TV shows and specials, plus 8 different Saturday Night Live Round Ups
27 albums, singles, playlists, and more music picks
13 podcasts
12 books
2 concerts
There have also been articles, events, museums, social media bits, trailers, and a service that helps you find movies across streaming platforms. (Find all of them here.) This month I’m adding a few more, like:
2 podcasts
2 albums
5 vampire movies
A conversation between two GOATs
A very funny dead guy
A terrifying Robert Mitchum performance
Another Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed
Here’s to another year!
August Crowd-Pleasers
1. Jungle Cruise (2021)
Indiana Jones meets Pirates of the Caribbean with a dash of The African Queen. I like all those movies, so sue me, I had a nice time! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10
2. Deep Blue Sea (1999)
Genetically-enhanced sharks try to break free of their cages in an ocean research facility, chaos ensues for the characters, and it’s a delight for us. For no intelligent reason, I love movies that make me guess who’s going to get killed off next, so a big dumb shark movie starring L.L. Cool J and Samuel L. Jackson? It’s a particular brand of joy. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 5.5/10
3. Double Feature — Adam Sandler Comedies: 50 First Dates (2004) + Murder Mystery (2019)
Adam Sandler movies are little like IcyHot for the brain—that is, they’re the relaxing kind of mind-numbing. Thanks to a stressful month at work, I watched six Sandler flicks in August—which I don’t necessarily recommend but also don’t regret—and the Netflix original Murder Mystery (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) was one of the the best of the bunch. It’s a silly spoof of Agatha Christie’s work, and it’s a scenic two-hour European vacay. I also gave 50 First Dates (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10) another try and was pleasantly surprised. Once you get past some of the gross-out humor at the beginning, you’ll find a sweet story all about how we need to keep showing up for the people we love.
4. Double Feature — SNL Comedies: Wayne’s World (1992) + Hot Rod (2007)
My love for Saturday Night Live is more than well-documented, so exactly zero mes were surprised that I loved these flicks from its alums. Wayne’s World (Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10) follows up with Wayne and Garth in the basement we first saw on late night. Now they have the opportunity to make it big on TV thanks to a sleazy exec (Rob Lowe). Brian Doyle-Murray and Chris Farley show up, and so do Laverne and Shirley? Hot Rod (Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 6.5/10) follows Rod (Andy Samberg) as he tries to make it big as a stuntman and impress his stepdad (Ian McShane). Will Arnett, Bill Hader, and Chris Parnell show up, and now I can mostly forgive all those boys in high school who quoted this movie non-stop.
5. Weekend at Bernie’s (1989)
If those SNL comedies weren’t enough silliness for you, how about you add some Bernie to your lineup? Andrew McCarthy and Jonathan Silverman are wannabe-yuppies who think they’ve got their career breaks when an exec named Bernie invites them to his vacation home for the weekend. What they don’t know is that Bernie (Terry Kiser) has been laundering money, is connected to the mob, and, is now, um, dead. The right thing would be to call the police, but then we wouldn’t have a 97-minute high-concept comedy, now would we? Crowd: 9/10 // Critic: 7/10
6. Twilight series (2008-12)
I mostly skipped the Twilight phenomenon at its peak, but I’m so glad I hopped on the train years later—this series of vampire vs. werewolf showdowns are ridiculous. But major kudos to the filmmakers who somehow turned a dump truck of nonsensical gobbledygook and unhealthy teenage relationships into something insanely watchable. Also, major kudos to Billy Burke and his understated, curmudgeonly, sarcastic performance. Bella’s dad is the MVP with the only appropriate responses to all of the nonsense he's forced to participate in and the only tether this franchise has to reality. Be sure to watch with a friend so you have someone else to process this weirdness with. Series Crowd: 8/10 // Series Critic: 5/10
7. Seven Brides for Seven Brothers at The Muny
You know what’s great? Live theater! This month I made my first trip back to the stage at America’s oldest and largest outdoor amphitheater, the Muny in St. Louis. Their productions never disappoint, and these performers reminded me of Howard Keel, Jane Powell, and Russ Tamblyn in the best ways.
8. Wimbledon (2004)
Paul Bettany and Kirsten fall in love at Wimbledon! Frankly, that premise alone should be enough to sell you on this very winning rom-com. Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7.5/10
9. Career Opportunities (1991)
This month’s Dumb Rom-Com I Nevertheless Enjoyed! Frank Whaley and Jennifer Connelly fall in love while stuck overnight at a Target—which honestly sounds like a dream scenario—and since it’s a John Hughes script, it’s got some heart beneath its thin premise. John Hughes directing would’ve made it better, but there’s enough Hughes in there to catch my heart. Crowd: 7/10 // Critic: 4.5/10
10. First Blood (1982)
Aka Rambo: Part I. Sylvester Stallone is a tough-as-nails Vietnam vet, and Brian Dennehy is the self-righteous sheriff who ticks him off. It digs a bit into PTSD and how we don’t take care of our veterans, but mostly, it’s just Stallone going ape with a knife and explosives. Oddly, also from the same director as Weekend at Bernie’s! Crowd: 8.5/10 // Critic: 7/10
August Critic Picks
1. TCM’s The Plot Thickens Season 2 (2021)
You know those movies that make you ask, “How on Earth did this get made?” This season of The Plot Thickens, subtitled The Devil’s Candy, is an attempt to answer that question. Pretty much no one thinks 1990’s The Bonfire of the Vanities works as a film—including yours truly—and reporter Julie Salomon documented many of its production troubles leading to the final product. A must-listen for anyone who loves hearing behind-the-scenes stories or just gets a kick out of schadenfreude.
2. Gene and Roger (2021)
Gene and Roger, the summer series on The Big Picture podcast, is an overview and reflection on the work of Gene Siskel and Roger Ebert, starting with the launch of their individual careers in the ‘60s through their partnership that lasted into the ‘90s. Another must-listen for movie lovers, especially those who love digging into the history and criticism.
3. Gold-Diggers Sound by Leon Bridges (2021)
Chill vibes and cool groves to transition you from Summer to Autumn.
4. The Good, the Bad and the Ugly (1966)
Come for the Clint Eastwood, stay for the Ennio Morricone. Actually you can stay for Eastwood, too, because his humor is at his driest, and for Eli Wallach, whose Tuco is an insanely charming cockroach. It’s almost three hours, but this treasure hunt breezes by like a tumbleweed in the wind. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 9/10
5. AFI’s Master Class - The Art of Collaboration: Steven Spielberg and John Williams (2011)
Two GOATS talking about making some of the GOATs. They share clips and explain their collaborative process (including on projects like Jaws and Schindler’s List), and they take questions from film students at AFI. I’m only wishing it were 10 hours instead of 1!
6. The Night of the Hunter (1955)
Robert Mitchum’s terrifying preacher elevates this classic into more than just a standard crime thriller. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8.5/10
7. Respect (2021)
While a few scenes indulge in melodrama, Jennifer Hudson’s killer performance—both in vocals and character work—more than makes up for it. This Aretha Franklin biopic hits the familiar beats, but it makes you feel like you’re in the room listening to Franklin sing , which is really all you want from a movie like this. Crowd: 8/10 // Critic: 8/10
8. Solar Power by Lorde (2021)
At first listen, this minimalist pop record sounds worlds away from the angst of Pure Heroine and the melodrama of Melodrama. At second listen, you realize it’s the Lorde you know and love, just with a Laurel Canyon influence. Carole King even gets a shout!
Also in August…
This month Kyla and I checked out Loveline, a call-in radio show popular during the run of Gilmore Girls. Should our favorite Yale students give up dating OR call into the syndicated radio show Loveline? Should Dr. Drew Pinsky and Adam Carolla give strangers advice OR make fun of them? Oh, and Germany OR Florida? Listen to ep. 107 of SO IT’S A SHOW?
The '40s are coming! Reviews of 1940s Best Picture winners are on their way, and I kicked it off with an overview of the Academy that decade focusing on how they responded to World War II and their new prestigious reputation.
Photo credits: The Muny, The Plot Thickens, Gene and Roger, Leon Bridges, AFI, Lorde. All others IMDb.com.
#Round Up#Jungle Cruise#Deep Blue Sea#Murder Mystery#Wayne's World#Hot Rod#Weekend at Bernie's#Twilight#The Muny#Wimbledon#Career Opportunities#Turner Classic Movies#The Plot Thickens#The Bonfire of the Vanities#Gene and Roger#Gold-Diggers Sound#Leon Bridges#The Good The Bad and the Ugly#John Williams#Steven Spielberg#The Night of the Hunter#Respect#Rambo#First Blood#Lorde#Solar Power#Aretha Franklin#Seven Brides for Seven Brothers#50 First Dates
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Back in Time
Bucky Barnes x Reader (other Avenger appearances)
*****************************************************************************************************
You had been planning Bucky’s birthday party for the past six months. That might sound excessive, but there was a lot that needed to go into the planning. You wanted this one to be his best birthday yet. Finally, the horrors of his past were mostly subsided, and you thought a celebration all for him with his closest friends might do some good.
The biggest problem with planning his party for six months…keeping it a secret from him. Bucky and you were attached at the hip whenever he was not off on a mission to save the world. Peeling yourself away from your boyfriend to make arrangements hurt your heart, so you tried your best to get most of the planning and organizing done while he was already gone. The only downside to that was how much you needed Steve’s help, and normally if Bucky was gone, so was he. Even so, Steve did his best to help while he was around, sometimes even keeping himself home from missions. Bucky was his best friend after all, and he knew this party had to be perfect. As soon as you had approached Steve with the idea, he knew it was going to be great.
Planning a party was time consuming enough, but adding a theme made it that much harder. While the party was for Bucky, you knew Steve was excited too. After all, they both missed their opportunity to enjoy most of what the 1940s had to offer (not to mention every decade after). While there were plenty of missed decades you could expose Bucky to, you really just wanted to bring him back to the familiar, his life before the war spiraled his life out of control.
As much as you could research what life was like right before Bucky and Steve joined the war, having the first-hand tales from Steve was immensely helpful. You even got some information out of Bucky. You had to be careful to not be too obvious when questioning Bucky, searching for natural ways to slip it into the conversation. Bucky enjoyed talking about his life pre-war.
This party needed to be as authentic as possible, down to the outfits. Every one of Bucky’s friends in the Avengers agreed to dress the part. A major part of the party planning task for you was sewing your own outfit. You decided to sew an outfit for Bucky as well, which he could change into after being surprised with the party. When you brought the outfit idea up to Steve his eyes lit up with so much excitement for Bucky, you decided you would sew him an outfit as well. These outfits for the boys would be exact (or as close as you could get) replicas of their uniforms. Sure, the war ruined their lives in certain ways, but both men were still proud to have worn that uniform and defended their country. Steve’s reassurance made you more confident it was a good idea. For women, 1940’s fashion had too many options, but also not enough. Every time you would research the fashion trends, the information would be slightly different. The boys also left so early into the 40’s that you could make an argument to follow more 1930’s fashion even. You decided to stick with the 40’s, but also not worry too much about if the trend was from 1941 or 1948. If you were off by a couple years within the decade, you were just helping Bucky experience a taste of his time that he had missed. Steve consulted on your dress as well. You couldn’t decide on a style. Did you want a swing dress? A classic shirred dress? A more pinup style to tease Bucky a little bit? Together, Steve and you decided to aim for a classic, elegant look, much like what a young, new bride would have worn at the time.
On top of planning the outfits, just for fun Steve tutored you in the slang of the 1940’s. Some of it you already knew just from being around the two men, but there were plenty of other terms you were giggling about as you learned.
“Alright you eager beaver,” Steve said, “you’ll be talking like an old dame in no time.”
You rolled your eyes at his joke, but your ears were open, ready to retain as much as possible. Turns out you’re pretty good at using the lingo, but it feels a little weird coming out of your mouth. Steve was practically rolling on the floor any time you put a sentence together.
“Sweetheart you’re solid. He’s already in love with you but by the end of this party, he will be tied to your apron string.”
Steve hadn’t taught you that phrase, but you could guess the meaning.
Finally, the day of the party arrives. Bucky left your room early to get in a training session, after you showered him with hugs and kisses, wishing him a happy birthday. Once Bucky leaves, Steve comes to your room and you hand him two garment bags, one labeled Steve and the other labeled Bucky. Steve unzips his bag a little to look at the outfit and his face lights up.
“This is snazzy, sweetheart, Bucky is going to love this. These are on the beam.”
“I know what that means!” You exclaimed through your giggles.
Steve laughed, shaking his head.
“So, I’ll keep the geezer distracted all day and have him back here at exactly 6:30 tonight.”
“That’s perfect Steve, thank you.”
You kissed his cheek then he turned to leave. Soon it would be time to transform pieces of the compound back in time.
You twiddled your thumbs in your room, waiting for Bucky to come shower from his training session and leave with Steve. As much as you wanted to spend the whole day with your boyfriend, you knew seeing everything put together for tonight will make it worth it.
As soon as the two men left, you were what Steve would say, “cooking with gas.” You were running around the compound like a crazy person. Luckily some of Bucky’s teammates volunteered their assistance to party decorating. Nat and Tony left to handle picking up balloons. You got to work stringing up some lights around the bar and living room. Your favorite decoration addition you found was the patriotic bunting. Tony suggested you hang up an Uncle Sam recruitment poster, but you felt that might be taking it a step too far. You didn’t want Bucky to feel like he was being sent back into battle.
By 4:00 the decorations were set, and everything else was almost ready. Bucky’s teammates insisted you go relax and get yourself ready.
“You’ve been working so hard on this,” Nat said. “You deserve to enjoy this party as much as Bucky. We can handle the rest of the minor details, go start on your transformation.”
With a hug you left for your room. To get in the 1940’s spirit, you put one of Bucky’s favorite vinyl records, an album by Glenn Miller, on the turn table. Sitting in front of your vanity, you began on your makeup. Luckily in this department the decade was fairly simple. You decided for the sake of the celebration to do it up a little more, but not much. You went for the neutral shades, adding a little black and gold to make it a bit more of an evening look. You swiped on your mascara, followed by the dusting on of some blush. You decided to wait to put on your lipstick until you were getting ready to head down to the party. Next came your outfit. You pulled your garment bag out from the back of your closet. You’ve wanted to show Bucky this dress many times but kept reminding yourself the surprise would be worth the wait. Laying the bag on your bed, you unzip the front and reveal the navy-blue fabric. Seeing the dress in front of you makes you grin, eager for Bucky to see you. The only person to see your outfit put together so far is Steve.
His response had been along the lines of “sweetheart, you look dynamite.”
Now to hope Bucky will feel the same. First you grabbed your stockings, nude with a black seam going straight up the backs of your legs. Next, the dress. It was a beautiful dress. You were proud of the sewing. Hopefully you’ll be able to wear this dress more often, it would be a waste to only see tonight. Pulling the dress on and getting it situated, you look in the mirror. The A line skirt ended right at your knee; the waist cinched in with the matching navy belt, sleeves resting just above your elbow. The neckline of the dress had been what you struggled with the most, too many options. Looking at it now, you know you made the right choice. You decided on a round neck, a slightly larger dip, to show off a little bit of your collar bones. Learning that had been a fashion trend of the pretty conservative decade made Bucky’s love of your collar bones make a little more sense. Your shoes would go on right before your lipstick. It was time to take out those pin curls. You had hurried to set your hair in them as soon as Bucky and Steve left the compound. After six hours you hoped they had enough time to set. Carefully pulling out the pins you watched the curls settle. You breathed a sigh of relief when they seemed to turn out perfectly. The soft curls fell delicately around your face and down your shoulders. Looking at the clock you realize it is 6:10. Steve would be back with Bucky soon. Giddy and a little nervous, you grab your navy peep toe heels and slide them on. For your final touch, you pick up your victory red lipstick and swipe it across your lips.
Standing with Bucky’s friends you take a moment to admire the room. It looks absolutely beautiful. Not that you have any experience with living in the 40’s, but it at least looks like it could be a scene from a movie about the decade. All of his friends look fantastic, in outfits reminiscent of the decade. Big band music played softly in the background, warming your heart. 6:28. Your heart is about to beat out of your chest. You don’t have too long to worry, as you hear keys jingling in the door. You hear muffled voices, then the door opens.
“Surprise!” you and all of Bucky’s friends shout.
Bucky looks absolutely shocked, eyes scanning the whole scene before landing on you. Speechless. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. You walk towards him, placing a hand on his chest and stretching up to kiss his cheek.
“Happy birthday, James.”
He stares at you, mouth slightly open. You giggle and blush under such an intense scan. Finally, he finds his words.
“Baby doll, you look…” His eyes kept wandering your form. “…you’re a bombshell.”
Your blush deepened at his words. Now it was your turn to find your voice again.
“Before you get too settled, there’s one more part to the surprise. Go on up with Steve for a minute but try to come back in a jiffy.”
You could see the smile in his eyes.
Only a few minutes later, Bucky and Steve are walking down the stairs freshly dressed in their outfits you sewed. You gasp, taken aback by the beauty of this man in front of you. Sure, you’d seen some photographs of Bucky pre-war and some even during, but he’d never looked more handsome than right now. Bucky’s eyes immediately find you and makes a beeline your way. His metal hand finds its way to the small of your back, sending a tingle straight up your spine. The love in his eyes is impossible to miss as he stares into your own.
“Doll, this is…killer diller.”
You can’t help but giggle as you watch the man you love travel back in time, his dialect shifting and Brooklyn accent becoming more pronounced.
“You’re not looking too bad yourself, dreamboat.”
Bucky’s grin grows as you try to assimilate yourself into his past. His ears perk up when the song changes to “In the Mood” by Glenn Miller. The up-tempo swing always makes him even happier.
“Come cut a rug with me doll,” he asks you.
How can you say no to him on his birthday? Even if dancing really isn’t your thing.
“Bucky, you know I’m a dead hooper.”
“Don’t worry about it sweetheart, I’ll lead you.”
Caving in, you take his outstretched hand and follow him to the center of the floor where some people are swaying. Once you got going, you had to admit you were having fun dancing with Bucky to this song. The music faded to the next song, another Glenn Miller classic, “Tuxedo Junction.” This one was one of your favorites. The song wasn’t too slow, but Bucky didn’t care. He took the opportunity to pull you impossibly close to his chest, wrapping his right arm around your waist and taking your right hand in his left. In his arms is where you felt safest.
“You really do look absolutely stunning, (Y/N),” Bucky whispered into your ear.
Smiling, you rested your head against his chest and focused on his heartbeat.
“I hope this party is okay,” you say to him.
Still swaying together, Bucky takes his hand from yours to put his fingers under your chin, pushing your head up to meet his gaze.
“Doll, it is absolutely perfect. Thank you.”
He brushes his lips against yours and smiles. His hand doesn’t go back to yours, instead finding your slightly exposed collar bone. His fingers dance softly across the spot a few times and you melt into his touch. This time his lips meet your neck, right behind your ear.
When his lips separate from you he says “I wouldn’t protest seeing you in this dress more often.”
No matter how many compliments or flirtatious sayings fall from his lips, each one sends butterflies to your stomach as if it were the first time hearing them. His words are always sweet as honey.
As the song hits its last note, Bucky takes you by the hand and spins you away from him before pulling you back in, hands finding your waist. He cranes his head down, kissing you with all the love he has for you, stealing the breath out of your lungs.
“Best birthday ever, baby doll.”
*****************************************************************************************************
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Taglist: @belladonnabarnes
#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes imagine#bucky imagine#bucky fluff#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky barnes x you
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Illusion, Part 3/?
Illusion｜Part 3/?
Bucky x oc!Lori
Warnings: Angst, betrayal, swearing, torture, violence
A/N: Part 3 already. And so many more parts to go! I´d be lying if I said I wasn’t tired of this particualr fic every now and then. Luckily for me, my brain knew this would happen. So, the old full part 3 and 4 are both done. Now I just have to edit them. I hope you guys enjoyed this holiday themed part, the next two parts will also be hoiday themed. I wanted them to be released before Christmas, but oh well… Again I hope you guys enjoyed this one! Comment/ share and like if you can! GIF-cred to owner as always! Holler if you want to be put on the taglist!
Summary: Reader is a supersoldier, one of a number, one of nine. Hydra´s backup for the asset. The group was started in 1974 and has been working under the radar, training for the day when the asset no longer exists. Lori is the only one left. Left in a cryo, she wasn’t discovered until 2023 when a certain captain and his buddy found her.
Words: 6557
Taglist: @selfsun
2024
December was a weird month. It was dark and gloomy, but full of light and happiness. Bucky had been planning the trip to Steve for a while. He was always visiting Steve around Christmas-time, but he had a special plan this time. Lori would come with him, Sam would too. But it was the first time Lori would meet Steve. She knew all about him by now. Steve knew off her, but seeing as he wasn´t military or an avenger anymore, and he didn´t have access to her files. He only knew what Bucky had told him.
Lori had been made aware of the plans in advance so that she could plan a good gift for Americas golden boy. Even if the stories Bucky had told her didn´t paint him in that light. She liked hearing Bucky talk about Steve, and the time before the war. He had retrieved most of his memories from that time, but he liked talking about it because it made him feel less like a monster. Lori had thought long and hard about what she would get Steve. She really wanted to impress him.
December 23rd rolled around a lot quicker than anyone had expected, despite December being a very quiet month, with just one, very simple, mission. This was the day they were visiting Steve in his cabin. Peggy had passed away a few years earlier. Despite Steve going back in time, he hadn´t been able to change Peggys destiny, or her cause of death. It had taken a toll on the former Captain, but he was beginning to be happy, finally. He had his art and the occasional visit from his friends, and of course he had the kids he had made with Peggy.
Bucky was beyond nervous for letting the two super-soldiers meet, but he was looking forward to hear Steves thoughts on Lori. He was driving with Lori and Sam. The others had been sent on a mission the night before, and would be home that afternoon, meaning they missed out on meeting Steve. They had all agreed to go meet up with Steve around New Years instead. Lori sat in the back listening to music while Sam sat besides Bucky. They were bickering like always and Lori had decided music was the best way to cut them out.
“Newbie, hey Lori… Are you even listening?” Sam asked and reached back to grab her leg. Lori wisely moved her leg out of the way and slapped Sams arm. “What do you want potoo?” She asked and raised her eyebrows at the man in the passenger seat. She had taken to calling him potoo about a month ago, for no other reason than to piss him off. At first Sam hadn´t understood the joke but he had done some research and found out that potoos were weird-looking birds with crazy eyes. He wasn´t ashamed to admit that he was offended at first, but only until he realized that Lori would have had to go out of her way to look up weird birds to give him a nickname that was special to her, and her alone. After he realized that he had no issues with it. “We´re about to arrive so put your shoes and jacket on,” he explained and nodded to a small cabin showing up on the road in front of them.
She did as she was told. She wasn´t sure why, but Sam had accepted her as if she was his younger sister and despite everything, Lori trusted Sam. More than anyone really. Apart from Bucky of course, but Bucky was different. Much between Lori and Bucky was different. Bucky was the first one Lori had opened up to. She had already told him a lot about herself and her time with Hydra. He knew about most of the bad stuff she had been forced into. He had also seen her at her worst.
In October Lori had begun showing signs of post traumatic stress disorder, a disorder Helen had later given her. It had started with Lori being unable to sleep and she had instead stayed up for longer than she should. When she did start sleeping she had nightmares, bad ones. They were about her time in Hydra. Some were just filled with images of the people she had killed, others were about her missions. But most of her nightmares were about the punishments Hydra would give her. The nights they would tie her to a bed and torture her.
Lori would wake up in tears, and she wouldn´t dare to go back to sleep after that. One rainy, cold night Lori had gotten up and walked to Buckys room. She was originally planning to go to Sam and talk to him, but something had enticed her to go to Bucky instead. Her subconcious had said Bucky would understand her situation better. He had been awake and he had let Lori sleep in his bed curled up to his chest for the rest of the night. He had read somewhere that hearing calming sounds, such as rain patter, or a heartbeat, could be helpful, and thats what he tried to be.
That was the first night in a few weeks she had slept well. From that night Bucky made sure that Friday watched Lori during the nights, and he would be right outside knocking on her door when Friday alerted him to changes in her sleep. Lori really appreciated it. She appreciated Bucky for wanting to help her, and wanting the best for her. He was constantly there for her, even when she didnt know she needed him.
The air hit her as Sam opened the door for her. She was in the midst of tying her left shoe. It was cold, enough for both Lori and Bucky to want a jacket, and Sam was wearing a thicker jacket. He didnt have super-soldier serum, so he wasn´t as resistent to the cold as the two others. Being who he was he often complained about it as well, and he could become very grumpy when Lori or Bucky weren´t cold. It wasn´t fair in his books. He grumbled as he pulled the jacket closer around himself while Bucky and Lori kept theirs opened.
Steve was standing on the little patio in front of the cabin leaning on his cane. “I´ve got a fire going inside and Brooke made us all hot chocolate before she left, so come inside and get comfortable,” he said and smiled before he walked back into his cabin. Sam and Bucky followed after him while Lori took a bit longer. She didn´t analyze her surroundings, she trusted Bucky and Sam and their judgment. If they felt safe in the environment, so did Lori. Bucky looked back to her and chuckled before he stretched his hand out to her. “Come on slow-poke,” he chuckled and watched as Lori took some slow steps up the stairs.
Lori gently took Buckys hand and let him guide her inside. They all took of their shoes, considering Steve himself claimed to be old to want to vaccuum every second day. Bucky helped Lori with her jacket and hung it up for her before they made their way further into the cabin. The seating area was small, and felt smaller with the original supersoldier, and the first winter soldier. Sure Steve had lost a bit of his muscle mass but he was still tall and he filled up a space like no bodys business. Bucky was just buff in general, muscular, tall-ish, and his broad shoulders really made him look bigger. Sam wasn´t as big as the other two, but he was still tall and muscular. Lori wasn´t small either, but she had a very different baseline from which the serum worked.
They all sat in silence for a while until Sam coughed a bit. “So Steve, meet Lori,” he said and gestured to Lori who waved shyly from her seat besides Bucky. “Lori, where are you from? I´ve heard a bit about you, but when were you born? And where?” He asked with a kind smile. He didn´t want to overdo things already, but he needed to know who she was before he trusted her. Before he could trust her to be around Bucky. Lori looked at him and played with her fingers. “Ehum, I was born in 1959 inSweden,” she answered and looked down at her hands. She didn´t feel intimidated by the supersoldier, but she felt like she had to show him respect. He was older, wiser and a better human being than she was.
Steve nodded and proceeded to ask Bucky and Sam about their latest mission. All to allow Lori to warm up to him. He didn´t want her to be nervous around him, he wanted her to consider him an ally, someone she could talk to if she needed. Lori stayed close to Bucky but looked around Steves cabin. There were one or two famous paintings as well as a few black and white sketches. Some were clearly of Peggy, a woman Lori would recognize anywhere. A few were of Bucky and Steve from what seemed like way back, possibly the time of the war. A few were simple landscapes, around the compound area. Lori had been on enough runs to recognize the scenery. Steve watched her and looked up at the sketches. “What do you think?” He asked and smiled at Lori.
She looked to Steve and then back to the sketches. “They´re beautiful. But I can´t say I´m not feeling a little uneasy by seeing a different Bucky.” She explained and sighed as she glanced to the Bucky she knew. “Oh, he isn´t different. Not really anyways, just hardened by what happened to him. When I see him I still see the Bucky from the 30´s and 40´s. He just takes longer to show that side of himself.” Steve argued and stood up. “Come with me, I´ll show you more sketches,” he said and smiled as he walked towards a room to the north of the cabin. Lori stood up as well and followed Steve.
The room was smaller than Lori had expected, but it didn´t have any furniture apart from a desk and a chair. However the walls were filled with pencil sketches. It was sketches of everything between heaven and hell. She looked around in awe and crossed her arms over her stomach. Sure the room wasn´t big but Lori felt small around the art. It was so beautiful, and meaningful, without Steve having to say so. Lori looked closer on a specific sketch of Bucky. She checked the date on it and realized it had been done in the summer of 2018. That meant it was done after the snap, Bucky was gone by then. Steve noticed her looking at it and sighed. “We lost everything in the snap. For a few months I didn´t know what I was going to do.” Steve said softly and sighed as he sat down on the chair.
“Natasha took over the Avengers, or whatever it was by then. I couldn´t be around it all, I didn´t want to be around it all. I took over Sam´s VA-group, not that it was a VA-group by then. It was a way to help people understand what had happened.” Steve said quietly and drummed his fingers on the table. “I spent most of the five years sketching and trying to help people. I owed that to the world.” He continued. Lori looked at him and frowned. “But you did save the world. You reversed the snap, and you saved those who had been taken,” Lori exclaimed and tilted her head.
Steve smirked a bit and shook his head. “I wasn´t alone in doing that, and Tony was the one to actually reverse it. “He said and rubbed the back of his head. Sitting there at his desk in front of the window with the snow falling outside, he looked lonely. “As true as that might be. I read that you were the one to inspire him to come back. That without you two making up, the world wouldn´t have been saved.” Lori said as her eyes slid over a sketch of Iron Man himself. Steve had sketches of all the team-members, well the original team-members at least.
“You and Bucky, huh?” He asked and Lori froze before she snapped her head towards Steve. “Wha… what? Me and Bucky, what?” She asked and looked terrified for a second before the look turned into confusion. “Oh you two aren´t fondueing?” He asked with a smirk, which he dropped as he saw the utter confusion on Lori´s face. “You´re not a couple? Youre not dating?” He asked instead and stood up from the chair. Lori just shook her head with a frown. “Oh wow, I´m sorry. It´s just the way you look at each other and the way you talk to each other and touch each other,” he said trying to explain his questions.
Lori looked down at her hands and sighed. “I… I like Bucky. He´s… he´s been very udnerstanding with me. I feel like there´s a trust between us that I´ve never had before. I really like Sam too, but more like a brother than anything.” She mumbled and picked at her fingers, a sign Steve often saw in people who were nervous. “Have you told Bucky about how you feel, or has he talked to you?” Steve asked and looked at her with interest. “No, no, no, I´m pretty sure he doesn´t feel that way,” Lori said quickly and put her hands up. Steve gave her a knowing look but nodded. “Alright, well I´m sorry I spoke on it when I was clearly unaware of the real situation. But please talk to Bucky about it. I´m sure it will all work out!” He said with a smile before he led Lori back into the livingroom.
Bucky looked up as Steve and Lori came back in. “Has he shown you all his sketches now?” He asked with a smile before he stood up to get the bag of gifts they had brought over. Lori smiled at Bucky and nodded her head. She couldn´t shake the feeling of what Steve had told her, and asked her about. She really hoped she´d get over it soon enough. She wasnt sure she was ready to make any of her feelings known. And she wasn´t even sure Bucky would care.
1973
Spring had rolled in with tons of rain. Lori wasn´t allowed outside but she heard it through the nights, and water was running down the cement-walls of her cell. It was wet and cold. Lori
hated it. She had never done anything to deserve this. She had never hurt a soul, she never wanted to hurt anyone. Now that was the only thing she did. Her captors forced her against soldiers every day, and so far she hadn´t lost one fight. If she had she wouldn´t be around. She did her best to stay in their good graces to not be tortured.
It had been a success, they hadn´t tied her to a bed in months. That meant Lori hadn´t been in any pain she couldn´t handle in a long time. If relief was a feeling she could still have she had it now. They had also given her a better mattress and a thicker blanket. It was awful that this was what Lori had begun to associate with something good. But her current situation had turned into being her new safe, her new norm.
She had just been woken up by loud banging in the hallway outside her cell. She had immediately gone into a fighting stance. Her entire existence was based on defeating others. Guards entered her room, there was five or six of them now, considering Lori had become quite strong since they started the super-serum experiment on her. She could easily take down two of the guards at once, but she had issues taking down four or more guards, they were quite strong themselves.
They blindfolded Lori and brought her out of the cell and past her usual training rooms. She knew the hallways fairly well by now. She was more scared when she felt fresh air and rain on her skin. She was outside. They had taken her outside. Lori hadn´t been outside since she was taken. It was strange, and she was now terrified. Would they kill her? Shoot her and dump her into a hole and then cover it up? Lori didn´t know and she wasn´t sure she wanted to know.
Lori could hear the sound of a car close by but she didn´t have time to think about it before she was pushed into the backseat of a car. She was uncomfortable but her arms weren´t tied so she could adjust herself. The guards told her to stay put, and she didn´t dare do anything else. The car started to move and Lori held on to the seats. She didn´t have any sense of direction and had to struggle against falling over whenever the car took a turn.
After an hour or so the car stopped and Lori felt hands tugging at her arms. She moved her legs out of the car and then the rest of her body. The hands guided her down some stairs and into some sort of damp bunker-like area. The floor was rough and Lori wasn´t wearing any shoes. It was clearly cement but she could smell something metallic and her best guess was that it was either the piping, of the bunker-like place, or iron covered walls.
She was dragged to a room which was slightly warmer. After the experiment, Lori had become more aware of her surroundings. It was as if an entirely different part of her brain had been unlocked. The blindfold was removed and she blinked at the light and squinted her eyes. She refrained from reaching up to cover her eyes from the light. Her bad aclimatizing to the light meant she wasn´t ready for the slap that landed on her left cheek abrubtly turning her head. Lori groaned and closed her eyes again. She didn´t reach up to touch her cheek. There wasn´t any need to, that wouldnt be the last hit.
2024
The quartet ate smores and drank hot chocolate while exchanging gifts with each other. Well it was really the three avengers giving gifts to the retired avenger. They had gotten together and brainstormed Steves gifts one night and had then gone their separate ways to get them. Bucky had gotten Steve a new set of Aquarells and generally new supplies since he knew Steve was always running low by the end of the year. Sam had managed to get a deal on a warehouse just a few blocks away which now was Steves. It was a place he could store either his sketches or furniture from his house to fill it with more sketches.
Lori who barely knew Steve, but wanted to be liked by him, had gone all out. She had gifted him with a paid vacation to the Stockholm archepelago. It was the city she was from and she had always loved the ocean as a kid. Steve quickly declined her gift but Lori insisted. It was her wish that Steve would get to go there and make beautiful sketches in peace and not have to worry about anyone else. She had seen some of his landscape sketches and knew he could do amazing things with the right view.
They stayed for a bit longer, but decided that they should head back at around 3 pm. Steve had his family arriving later in the evening and wanted to clean up a bit, and the three avengers had to get back to the compound to start setting up things for christmas. They also had to get a tree on their way back. Sam asked Bucky to drop him halfway home. He had a few buisness to attend to. Bucky and Lori could get the tree themselves. The tree-farm was quite close to the compound, just one turn off actually. Bucky pulled up to the forest area and got out of the car pulling his jacket a bit tighter. They didn´t really get cold anymore but the wind still made his skin crawl.
A perfect tree stood right in front of them. Bucky thought it was perfect at least. Nearly every tree was perfect in his mind. He really didn´t care too much. Celebrating Christmas was something he did just for the others, he himself didn´t feel much of a connection to the holiday. Most of his previous ones had been spent killing or sleeping. He looked over to Lori, well, where she was supposed to be, but he couldnt find her. “Lori?” He called out and began to look around the trees to see if he could find her. The trees were quite a bit taller than Bucky and Lori was shorter than Bucky. She could have easily sneaked off and he wouldn´t be able to find her. She was a spy after all, and she had been trained by some of the best.
If she didn´t want to be found Bucky wouldn´t find her, but he did start to panick a bit when he had been searching for a few minutes. It wasn´t a big place, she couldn´t just disappear. He had half a mind to try and call her when she came out from behind a tree looking for him. “Where did you go?” He asked with his voice slightly raised. “You can´t just run off,” he explained and sighed as he noticed Lori moving back a bit. He quickly realized it was because he raised his voice at her. He shook his head and held her hands up. “I´m sorry, I didn´t mean to raise my voice at you, I was worried. Did you find a tree you like?” He asked and gave Lori a soft smile to try and ease the blow from before.
Lori nodded and pointed in the direction of a row of trees a bit further into the farm. It was obvious why they had been placed farther away from where people would typically go. The trees were smaller and less perfect. Not awful, just slightly less ideal for a Christmas tree. “Are you sure doll? The compound is pretty big and we want a tree that can flourish in the environment, right?” He asked as he looked at the trees. If it truly was what Lori wanted he wouldn´t argue and he wouldn´t complain. Lori looked over at Bucky and pouted a bit. “I know they´re not traditionally beautiful, but there´s a charm to them, don´t you agree?” She asked softly and touched one of the trees´ branches.
Bucky didn´t have the strength to say no to her so he simply nodded and stuffed his hands in his pockets. “Pick whichever one you like the most,” he said, defeat clear in his voice. He wasn´t actually upset with it though, why would he be? It was just a christmas tree. Lori walked around for a bit longer before she decided on a tree that stood around 5´6 feet tall. Bucky happened to know the average christmas tree was 7 ft tall. He hadn´t googled that, nope, not at all… He hadn´t googled Swedish Christmas traditions to be able to give Lori something sepcial either. Not that he had found much, and he felt like he had to talk to Lori about it before he put his plan to work.
They got the tree into the car and Bucky drove them back to the compound once they had paid for the tree. “I was looking online for something I could do for you and I found some old, well not old, traditions. Like a showing of Donald Duck, or something at 3 pm Swedish time, which is like 9 am here, tomorrow. I´ve fixed us a VPN so you can watch it if you´d like.” He said and stared hard at the road ahead of them. Lori glanced at him and smiled to herself. “I haven´t seen the Donald Duck Christmas showing since I was five or something, I´d love to watch it.” She answered and hugged herself as she curled up in the seat. It was beautiful outside, quiet and light. The road to the compound was mostly unused. The lower-level agents had all gotten the holidays off and if any situation came up the Avengers were stepping in. They had had a few months off when Lori was found and were now getting that time back.
Considering the compound was empty the snow was clean, and it was glimmering in the light of the car. It was dark out by now, but a few lanterns had been placed along the road, which meant it wasn´t pitchblack. Lori looked out the window and let out a silent sigh. Her first couple of Christmas celebrations had been amazing, but around the age of 8 or so her mother had stopped caring about making christmas special for Lori. She was rarely home ,and if she was she had been drunk and Lori´s christmas had been ruined. Her father had never been around and she didn´t have any other family.
Bucky patted her leg and hummed. “So Donald Duck tomorrow. Would you like your present tomorrow as well. I read that that was also a tradition?” He asked and frowned a bit. Lori looked at him and chuckled. “You´ve surely done youre homework. Yes we do get our presents the 24th, but I dont mind waiting until the 25th, it´s not a big deal,” she explained and shrugged. Bucky nodded and smiled. “Alright, well I want you to tell me what you want from this Christmas. It´s your first in many many years, and I want you to enjoy it!” He said as he drummed his fingers on the steering wheel.
Lori blushed and bit her lip. “I´m sure I´ll enjoy it as long as the team is around. You guys have done so much for me and I feel like you are all family to me.” she mumbled and pulled at the sleeves of her sweater which were sticking out under the sleeves of her jacket. Bucky smiled and reached over to take her hand. “We are your family, and you will always be safe with us.” He said and stroke the back of her hand.
Sure the two had spent nights together, after nightmares, but it had just been cuddles and hugs. But this felt different? Or maybe that was just Lori overthinking. Had something happened at Steves, or did she just now start to see the way Bucky interacted with her. He was always attentive to her needs and he always seemed to put her thoughts, and wishes first.
Bucky pulled into the garage at the compound and Lori got out of the car and got to open the trunk to get the tree. She wasn´t quick enough, and only managed to get the trunk open before Bucky gently nudged her out of the way and picked the tree up. Lori huffed a bit but backed away to give Bucky some space. “You could have just said you wanted to take it, instead of pushing me over,” she said and crossed her arms. Bucky laughed at her antics. “Hey did you want to carry it? I don´t mind” he shrugged. Lori shook her head and pouted. “No, you choose this, now you have to live with that choice,” She said and stomped over to the door holding it open for him.
She may be pouty but she wasn´t an asshole. Bucky chuckled once more and walked through the door she held open. “Thank you, do you want to go freshen up before we start decorating? I think the team is back, so you can catch up with Wanda and Peter if he´s still here” Bucky said. He didn´t want to crowd her or take up all of her time when he was certain that she and Wanda had a lot of things to talk about. They had grown so close in the past month. Lori had also gotten close to the young Parker-boy. Something that made Bucky a little uneasy at first, but he had quickly realized Lori only saw Peter as a younger brother, someone who helped her with technology and such.
Wanda made herself known quickly with a loud squeal as she ran to Lori to hug her. Lori hugged her back tightly and laughed a bit as Wanda showed her images of the mission. She often did that if it was something funny that one of the others didn´t want to be shared. Wanda pulled her to the kitchen so they could get something to eat and drink. Bucky was in turn left to his own demise as he was carrying the tree. He placed it down in the livingroom before he got Thor and Loki to help him get some decorations. They had a few boxes in the attic and Bucky didn´t feel like taking a million trips up and down the elevator.
The two gods had become regulars at the compound. Loki liked Lori a lot, she was just as tricky as he was and she liked to play pranks on Sam and Peter. She had learned a few from Loki. Of course she didn´t have his magic, but he shared what he could on “normal” tricks. Lori was a quick learner. Loki had tried to implement magic into it but Lori wasn´t having any of it. It wasnt fair considering neither Sam nor Peter was magical. Both of the gods had been very keen on letting Lori in on their story. Her favorite storyline so far was what had happened with Hela. She liked the fact that facing Hela had brought out the best in the brothers. Thor had been able to harnes his complete power and Loki had learned he wasn´t entirely bad.
All the christmas decorations had been moved down from the attic by Bucky and the gods while Lori was catching up with Wanda and Peter. Sam had made his way back to the compound as well during that time. Once Lori was all caught up on the mission the three of them made their way to the livingroom where they saw all the boxes with decorations. Lori looked around and frowned a bit. “We figured you´d want to take charge of the decorating,” Bucky explained as he looked around at all the boxes. Lori looked at him and raised an eyebrow. “Well, I´definitely going to need some help,” She replied and huffed softly. Bucky laughed and nodded. “We´ll all help you, don´t worry about that” he smiled and got to setting the tree up. The foot needed assembling and well, the girls didn´t seem too interested and the gods had no idea what to do. Sam had already given up any sort of responsibility when it came to decorating.
Lori walked over to a box and opened it to see what was inside. Ornaments of all colours, shapes and sizes met her. She wasn´t a big fan of, over the top, decorating, and instead wanted to go for something more simple. She wanted the tree to look beautiful, and so her colors of choice were red and silver. It was simplistic but it fit them all. Well apart from Loki, but they would have reindeers up and around the compound. The rest of the avengers had grey or red incorportated into their suits and daily clothes. It would all feel more close-knit to Lori if she could see colors she felt comfortable with.
Wanda helped her a bit and used her powers to hang the ornaments in the windows and such. Peter was busy setting his aunts room up, for when she was coming over for Christmas. The gods were mostly standing around watching Lori and Wanda pick ornaments and decorate the livingroom. After a little while they moved to the kitchen and then the hallways. Bucky looked around after a little while noticing Lori and Wanda had left the room. He had been so invested in making sure the tree was standing safetly. “Hey where did Lori go?” He asked the gods who nodded towards the hallway.
He walked slowly wanting to give Lori and Wanda as much time as possible to hang their decorations, but he needed a few minutes alone with Lori. He found the two women after just a short while and smiled at their decorating skills. It was a bit of a mess actually but that was a later problem. “Hey Lori, can I talk to you for a sec?” He asked and frowned as he crossed his arms and waited for her go ahead. Lori tilted her head and thought for a second before she looked at Wanda, who nodded in approval. “I´ll finish up this hallway,” she said and nudged Lori towards Bucky. Lori groaned but walked over to Bucky ready to follow him, wherever he wanted to go.
Bucky smiled and held out his hand for Lori to take before he guided her down the hall to his room. He wanted them to have some privacy. Lori happily took his hand and followed him to his room. She wasn´t sure what he wanted to talk about but she was sure she wouldn´t mind. She liked the alone time she spent with Bucky. She took a quick look around Buckys room before she sat down on his bed, to which he had motioned. Bucky sat down besides her and turned to her taking both of Lori´s hands in his own. He was constantly in awe of how Lori didn´t seem to mind his metal arm and hand. She had no issues with the coldness that came from it. “So what was it you wanted to talk about?” Lori asked as she looked at Bucky. He looked so different from the pictures she had seen in his file. His hair was short, but she liked it. She understood why he had cut his hair. It was a reminder of his time with Hydra, and cutting it off was a way to leave that behind.
His hands were shaking slightly as he took a deep breath. “I… I´ve been meaning to talk to you for a while. Steve talked to me today, avbout it. And I kind of realized I had to… yeah I had to do this today,” he said and sighed. “Lori… I, I´m in love with you,” he said quietly and looked down at their hands. He could feel Lori freeze, her hands went stiff but she soon seemed to relax. She lot go of his metal hand and gently gripped Buckys chin to tilt his head up. He looked at her and felt his face heat up under her gaze. Blushing wasn´t something he was used to, emotions even less so.
Lori smiled and leaned forward pressing her lips against Buckys. She could feel him still for a second before he melted into the kiss and grabbed her hand a little tighter. “Does… does this mean you feel the same?” Bucky asked as they broke for air. Lori giggled and nodded. “Yeah, I like you too,” she said and gave him a quick kiss. “How about we get back out, and we finish up decorating,. Eat some good food, and then I´ll be all yours tonight if you want, or we could go for a whole lot of cuddles,” she said and bit her lip before she stood up and wiped her hands on her pants. Bucky stood up as well and hummed. “I´d like to spend the evening with you, but I have to go out and get some last minute presents,” he sighed.
1973
Her new bosses where hard on her. She hadn´t been this beaten up in a long time, maybe that was why she had been moved. It didn´t do her any good to dwell on it however, and hence she didn´t after the first day. She learned to follow orders, she learned not to talk back. She learned to be a compliant soldier.
The schedule she had been put on was brutal. At most she got four hours of undisturbed sleep, and those days she was lucky. Usually the nights were filled with screams making it near impossible to sleep more than a few minutes at the time. The days were filled with drills and training. She was trained in different languages, dancing, and general spy-subjects.
In the few weeks she had been in her new prison she had learned proper french and russian. From before she had been forced to learn german and spanish. Swedish and english were languages she had known from before Hydra. She had overheard her captors talk about her learning italian and arabic as well.
And she did, it took her months but by mid august Lori was almost a perfect spy. The only thing she was lacking was the field-experience. And she would get that sooner than she thought. The very same month to be precise. It wasn´t a big mission, and it wouldn´t matter a lot if Lori failed, even if she would be punished hard if she did. But there was no risk in it for Hydra.
It was supposedly a simple elimination-mission, and the target wasn´t anyone too famous, but they had become a small threat to Hydra. Lori started by stalking the target for two days, they were simple, and obsessive about their schedule. Lori was able to take them out on her third day. She was then collected by Hydra and taken back to her prison without as much as a thank you or confirmation that she had done a good job.
When they got back to the holding place she was taken to her cell and left there for a few days. It wasn´t until five days later she got her next meal, and only after she had been through a thorough beating which left her forgetting her own name. When she came too she was back in her cell with half-eaten food in front of her and a small glass of water. She didn´t trust it for a second but swallowed it all down in seconds.
Her trust would earn her another beating. She wasn´t supposed to trust anything that was half eaten. She was not to make that mistake again, she was told. That was the first night in months she had cried herself to sleep. At the old place she had had a mattress and a nice blanket, now she had neither. She had her clothes to cushion the floor and to cover her from the cold in the room.
She had never thought it could get worse, but these new people. They were pure evil and Lori knew they would break her, and if they didn´t someone else would get the chance. That was her curse, ever since she became a super soldier. People wanted to break her, to be able to rebuild her.
#winter soldier#fanfic#fanfiction#bucky barnes#bucky x oc#winter soldier x oc#avengers#avengers fanfiction#marvel#marvel fanfiction#bucky fanfic#winter solider fanfiction#the winter soldier#the winter solider fanfiction
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The Wayhaven Chronicles: Book 2 - Story Spoilers Guide
This guide contains spoilers for the finale of The Wayhaven Chronicles: Book 2 by Mishka Jenkins, @seraphinitegames.
Here you can find the conditions to decide the fate of a certain character and the group of Supernaturals you are dealing with in this game.
Only proceed if you really want the spoilers.
The Maa-alused - Treaty, Peace, Hostility
With your choices when dealing with Falk, the leader of the maa-alused, you can influence his stance towards the Agency. The possible outcomes are him signing the offered treaty, him declining the treaty but being at peace with the Agency, or him and his group becoming hostile to the Agency.
Chapter 8 - House of Mirrors
Your first opportunity is inside the House of Mirrors when you find your Unit Bravo companion paralysed and judged.
Damaging the mirror damages the relationship between the maa-alused and the Agency. Explaining gives a point towards the treaty, every inquiring choice gives peace points.
[[#Move between UB and the hand to ask what the supernatural wants.]] +1 Peace
[[#Smash the mirror.]] +1 Hostility
[[#Move between UB and the hand, then demand to know what's wrong with UB.]] +1 Falk, +1 Peace
[[#Move between UB and the hand, trying to explain there must be a misunderstanding.]] +1 Treaty, +1 Falk
[[#Move in front of the mirror and plead for them to stop.]] +1 Peace, +1 Falk
[[#Shoot the mirror.]] +1 Hostility
Chapter 12 - Diplomacy
The next opportunity is when you actually meet Falk face to face to propose to him the Agency's offer of a treaty.
How do you start the conversation?
[[#"I'm glad we could meet like this, Falk."]] +1 Falk, +1 Treaty
[[#"I'm here on behalf of the Agency only."]] +1 Peace, +1 Mason/Morgan
[[#"Interesting decor you have here. Love how you turned the leaky walls into a feature."]] +1 Hostility
[[#"We both know why we're here. Shall we just get down to it?"]] +1 Falk, +1 Treaty
[[#"It's nice to meet you. I hope we can find common ground in this meeting."]] +1 Falk, +1 Treaty
[[#Give a simple nod of respectful greeting.]] +1 Falk, +1 Peace
[[#Take a seat without greeting.]] +1 Hostility
Falk explains to you the maa-alused way of judging people's guilt. What's your reaction?
[[#"That's not justice. That's just judgement based on your opinion."]] +1 Hostility, +1 Falk
[[#"I understand you have your way of working, but it causes too much harm."]] +1 Treaty
[[#"Everyone feels guilt over something. You can't judge a person on that."]] +1 Treaty, +1 Falk
[[#"I suppose it's a quicker justice process than we have."]] +1 Falk, +1 Peace
[[#"What about when you threatened me? Your lackeys didn't judge Bobby|Douglas at all."]] +1 Hostility
[[#"That just sounds like invading someone's privacy."]] +1 Treaty
[[#"You will have to stop. Your way of justice is not fair. Not logical."]] +1 Peace
Chapter 13 - Falk visits at Night
Falk will visit you alone at night, inquiring about your personal opinion of the Agency.
[[#"I don't really know yet. I've only just started with them."]] +1 Falk
[[#"They are doing what they can in difficult circumstances."]] +1 Treaty
[[#"I admit they seem a little…cagey on some things."]] +1 Peace, +1 Falk
[[#"They seem better than most big organisations."]] +1 Treaty
[[#"Anyone keeping so many secrets is always hiding something of their own."]] +1 Hostility, +1 Falk
[[#"My opinion on them is my own."]] +1 Peace, -1 Falk
[[#"I trust them. They've opened me up to a whole new world."]] +1 Treaty, +1 Falk
[[#"What I think doesn't matter. Only what you do."]] +1 Peace, +1 Falk
Chapter 14 - Attack on the Warehouse
Falk and some of his group attack the warehouse in desparation and indignation. How do you react to them?
Failing the skill check will result in, +1 Hostility. Succeeding in the checks will either result in, +1 Treaty or, +1 Peace. Using the DMB Spray will have negative consequences.
There is one choice for every skill. You need to have at least 70 points in said skill to succeed. Two of the choices also use the Supernatural Research skill, two others the Supernatural Combat skill to help you succeed if you have at least 40 in the professional skill.
[[#Offer them help and try to calm them down without conflict.]] +1 Falk, +1 Treaty (People 70, or 40 and Supernatural Research), else +1 Hostility
[[#Join in with the fighting to subdue them.]] +1 Peace (Combat 70, or 40 and Supernatural Combat), else +1 Hostility
[[#Examine them closely to see if I can deduce what happened.]] +1 Falk, +1 Peace (Deduction 70, or 40 and Supernatural Research), else +1 Hostility
[[#Use a soundtrack on my phone to fool them into thinking backup is coming.]] +1 Peace (Science 70, or 40 and Supernatural Combat), else +1 Hostility
[[#Use the DMB spray.]] +2 Hostility, -1 Treaty, -1 Falk (if you already have points in Treaty or Falk)
Chapter 17 - Trappers Aftermath
If Sanja is alive you get +2 Treaty.
If Sanja is dead, your points also change:
If you had points in Treaty, you lose -2 Treaty points. Either way, you gain +2 Peace if you have more Peace than Hostility points. Otherwise +2 Hostility.
Directly after these points were applied, another change happens (still if Sanja is dead).
If you have more Hostility points than Peace points, +2 Hostility. Otherwise (so either equal points or more Peace points), +2 Peace.
Falk then accuses the Agency of being the reason why the Trappers knew of his group's location.
[[#"You hardly made yourselves inconspicuous. They could have found you on their own."]] +1 Treaty
[[#"It does seem the Agency isn't as infallible as they like to think."]] +1 Peace
[[#"The information didn't come from us. The Agency wouldn't allow it."]] If Sanja alive +1 Treaty, else +1 Peace
[[#"And yet we still tried tried to get/got your friend back after it happened."]] +1 Hostility, -1 Falk if you have points with him
[[#"Can you guarantee that nothing gets slipped past your people either?"]] +1 Peace
[[#"No, it's not true."]] +1 Treaty if: People 60 or Combat 70 or Charming 60 or no higher than 30 or Falk at least 3 points, else +1 Hostility, -1 Falk
Afterwards, you get another opportunity to discuss Falk's understanding of justice.
[[#"The world is harsh, but punishment and justice shouldn't be ruled by that."]] +1 Treaty, +1 Falk
[[#"Your brand of justice is flawed, no matter what the world is like."]] +1 Hostility
[[#"Doling out justice is a heavy task. Why do it when someone else is willing?"]] +1 Treaty
[[#"If it's so harsh, then why not retreat from it? We can offer that."]] +1 Falk
[[#"Maybe you're right. We have our methods; you have yours."]] +1 Peace, +1 Falk
Once the talk is over, your relationship with Falk is checked by the game.
If you have at least 4 points with Falk, you will get either +1 Treaty or +1 Peace.
If you have more Treaty points than Peace points, you get the +1 Treaty. Otherwise, you get +1 Peace.
After this, the fate of the maa-alused is decided. This is the order of checking:
More Treaty points than Peace points --> Treaty
More Treaty points than Hostility points --> Treaty
More Peace points than Hostility --> Peace
More Hostility points than Peace --> Hostility
More Hostility points than Treaty --> Hostility
Every other case --> Peace
Sanja
Towards the end of the game, you have to head out to free Sanja, who was taken by a group of Trappers.
There are four components playing into her fate:
- your decisions on the way to Sanja
- how well you're doing in the skill checks
- whether you choose to save Sanja or one of Unit Bravo
- whether you let the Agency do the blood test in Book 1 to learn more about the MC's blood or did not.
These choices affect Sanja's fate:
When A or N talk about "We get in, we rescue Sanja, and then we leave.", choose one of these options:
[[#"We have to do everything to get her back safely."]] +1 Sanja Safety
[[#"In and out. Got it."]] +1 Sanja Safety
[[#Give a sharp nod. "Agreed."]] +1 Sanja Safety
Here's how to locate the Trappers.
There are five choices. One for each skill and one random choice (not recommended if you care about saving Sanja).
The special skill you acquired earlier in your training with Unit Bravo comes into play here and can make a skill check easier.
Upon success, you get, +1 towards Sanja Safety. If you fail, you will lose the point gained in the previous choice.
You either need at least 65 points in the respective skill or at least 40 and the right Supernatural Defense skill.
[[#Put the vampires' hypersenses to use.]] People 65, or People 40 and Supernatural Research
[[#Search the area tactically.]] Combat 65, or Combat 40 and Supernatural Combat
[[#Use my own equipment to get the lay of the land.]] Science 65, or Science 40 and Supernatural Research
[[#Attempt to work out the Trapper's location.]] Deduction 65, or Deduction 40 and Supernatural Combat
[[#Pick a tunnel at random and go for it.]] Random Roll 1 to 8. Success on three results, failure on five
Now you are dealing with the first Trapper:
- If you did do the tests on your own blood in Book 1, the Trappers will know about you. And they want you and Sanja will suffer because of it. You automatically lose -1 Sanja Safety points after dealing with the first Trapper.
- If you did not do the blood tests, the Trappers won't know about your blood's abilities. Sanja is safer cause the Trappers still want to keep her alive to sell her off., +1 Sanja Safety.
Next, you have to choose how to act in combat.
There are four options, one for each professional skill. You will need at least 70% in the chosen skill to succeed. On sucess, you gain, +1 Sanja Safety points. On failure, you get %+5 in the respective skill.
[[#Attempt to join in the fight.]] Combat 70: +1 Sanja Safety. Else: %+5 Combat
[[#Try to look for a way to work with the vampires.]] People 70: +1 Sanja Safety. Else: %+5 People
[[#Attempt to use the equipment on hand to gain an advantage.]] Science 70: +1 Sanja Safety. Else: %+5 Science
[[#Attempt to deduce who the leader is and take them out first.]] Deduction 70: +1 Sanja Safety. Else: %+5 Deduction
Then you are forced to make a choice that may make you scream "NOOO, WHY" or it's an easy choice for you to make: Save your RO OR save Sanja. If you don't have an RO, hey, you don't have to choose! You always save Sanja.
RO or Sanja
If you decide to save your RO, then subtract -2 Sanja Safety points from your counter if you already have points in it. If Sanja Safety is 0, then still -1.
If you decide to save Sanja, add +2 Sanja Safety points.
After the rescue choice, Sanja's fate is sealed. If you have at least 2 Sanja Safety points, she will be alive no matter who you saved. If you have less than 2 points, then she is dead.
Summary
In effect, if you did the blood tests in Book 1, Sanja can only be saved if you actively decide to save her over Unit Bravo. At most, you can have 2 Sanja Safety points, but you lose -2 when choosing UB... resulting in 0 Sanja Safety points, which is clearly not enough to save her.
If you did not do the blood tests, you can choose to save your RO and Sanja can still live. You will have to succeed in all the skill checks and go into the sewers with the right mindset to achieve saving both.
EVEN SHORTER SUMMARY
Did the blood tests: Save Sanja or else Sanja is dead.
Did not do the blood tests: Hit all the right choices and you can save your RO with Sanja still surviving.
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thesunflowrhouse
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