#I thought these all really needed to be in the one place lol
Note
could i request a mark smut 😣😣 where reader and mark just had an intense argument but in the end, they cant be mad at each other for long so they just fck it out of each other 🤐🤐🤐🤐
mad at you | l.mk
“then i try to leave, but baby i just can’t stay mad at you”
💿now playing: mad at you by why don’t we
❯ summary: Mark learns that you’ve made a ‘selfish’ decision that’s bound to put a strain on your relationship. Next thing you know, you're knee-deep in an argument that somehow ends with you sprawled out beneath him; because, let’s be honest, he’s never really been any good at staying mad at you.
❯ pairings: idol!mark x fem!reader
❯ genre: angst, smut, established relationship, make up sex
❯ words: 4.3k
❯ tags: 18+ minors dni!, lots of arguing, swearing, reader is lowkey dramatic, makeup sex, unprotected sex (don't do this!), nipple play, dry humping, brief clit play, slight needy mark bc i can't help myself, creampie, reader uses she/her pronouns, reader and mark argue and resolve it by fucking.
an: i love writing angsty arguments (testament to my real relationships lol) so thank you so much for this request. it lowkey brought me out of writer’s block.
The honeymoon stage lasts approximately thirty months or two and a half years – which would make sense considering you and Mark were approaching your third year together and have argued more recently than you ever had.
But this time it’s different. You’ve never seen Mark like this, so angry that his face is bordering red and his jaw ticks so hard it might crack as the both of you drive in complete silence from your work dinner. He doesn’t even bother sneaking his usual glances at you when he pulls up at stoplights, the hand he likes to place on your thigh is gripping the wheel instead, and the only noise in the car is his rugged and frustrated exhales.
You could feign ignorance about why he's upset, but you know the reason all too well. And while a part of you acknowledges his right to be angry, another, more prideful part, resists the idea of apologising, especially when you think his reaction seems so disproportionate to your mistake.
So you sit in the passenger seat, arms crossed and body frozen, contributing to the cold silence settling between the two of you. You prepare yourself for the earful of a lecture you’re about to get when he pulls up outside your shared apartment.
He parks the car, slams the door shut, and strides towards your building without a backward glance. You scoff at his pettiness; he's never been so angry that he wouldn't at least wait for you to get out of the car with him. He doesn't even slow down when you trail behind. And when he nearly lets the elevator doors close without you, any chance he has of receiving an apology from you flies out the window, you think.
He does, however, show some decency by leaving the front door open for you as you both step out of the elevator and head towards your apartment – how chivalrous.
The chivalry doesn’t last long because the minute he hears you clasp the door shut, he’s glaring at you, arms crossed tightly over his chest, and you can't help but notice that he's rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt in frustration. If he weren't on the brink of yelling at you, you'd be tempted to make him do more than just roll up those sleeves — you'd want the fabric torn off and thrown on the floor in an instant.
“Paris, Y/N?!” Mark seethes, voice deep and uneven. “You signed a fucking contract to work in Paris?!?”
You pause, attempting to gather your thoughts, but the momentary silence doesn't offer much clarity. Eventually, you settle on, "It's just a six-month gig..." – a statement that seems to send him into a frenzy.
“Just six months?” He rubs his jaw repeatedly in disbelief, “That’s six months that we won’t get to see each other, did you even think about that huh?”
You scoff, “You’re one to talk, need I remind you that your job takes you away from me for months at a time.”
"That's not fair," he protests. "You knew exactly what you were getting into when you agreed to date me. I didn’t agree to not seeing my girlfriend for months because she’s gallivanting away in Paris without me."
Your eyes narrow and your nostrils flare, “So what? If you would have known, you wouldn’t have wanted to be my boyfriend?”
His eyes widen and he shakes his head. His hands fly to his hair and he tugs at the strands as he huffs out a breath.
“How the fuck did you get that conclusion from what I said?” He asks, voice sounding baffled. “The reason I’m so mad is because I like being your boyfriend, but I’m not going to see you for the next six months.”
“You’re being a hypocrite right now.”
He rolls his eyes and scoffs, “Right, because I’m always the one being unreasonable.”
“Yes, you are,” you scorn, “This job is my dream, don’t you see how selfish you're being?”
“I’m selfish?” He gasps, “That’s rich considering you didn’t even consult me when making this decision, I had to find out from your smug little co-worker in front of everyone. You were thinking solely about yourself, Y/N.”
You're on the verge of screaming. How is he not seeing things from your perspective? He's usually so understanding, so open to hearing your side. But the razor-sharp look in his eyes tells you that there's no getting through to him. He's convinced you're wrong, and nothing will change his mind.
“It’s for my job, Mark,” you cross your arms and shrug.
“And how many times have I told you that you don’t need to work? How many times do I need to tell you I can look after the both of us?”
“And how many times have I told you that I don’t want that? I don’t want to have to always rely on you!” You snap.
Your teeth grit as the words spit out of your mouth. They seem to hit Mark, deep, his eyes softening for a fleeting moment before sharpening again. He swallows thickly and blinks before running a hand through his hair.
“Then what are we doing, Y/N?” He asks deflated, “What are we if you don’t want to rely on me?”
You're not sure what compels you to say it – whether it's the way you're all worked up, the entire context of the argument, or some inner recognition that you're the one who's fucked up this time despite you both having stuff to apologise for. Still, you escalate the situation from zero to one hundred without a second thought.
“Oh, so you want to break up?”
He shakes his head and tongues the inside of his cheek, “When did I say that?!”
The fight only gets worse after that, the two of you blowing up after every sentence. You run around in circles, throwing accusations and insults at each other to the point the original premise of the argument is lost along the way of a thousand new arguments. It’s like every little thing you’ve both done to irk each other over the last month is brought up; and by the end of it, the two of you swear you’re done with each other.
Sure, you've had your fair share of arguments, but the biting finality of the word "done" as it leaves his lips sends a sharp pang through your stomach – it hurts like hell. You've reached your limit with this endless cycle of back-and-forth; you've had enough of him. Storming past him, you head towards your shared bedroom.
Mark sighs and reaches out for your arm, but you pull away. He doesn't like this, doesn't like the chilliness he feels from you. He doesn't want to end the argument like this; it's never gone this far without a resolution before.
“You can’t just storm away when we argue Y/N, it’s childish.”
“If you don’t like it then leave!” You slam the door shut after you and lock it.
Mark hates this more, not being able to talk this out because you’ve put a wall between the two of you. Then your words register in his mind and he’s the most hurt he’s ever felt. You want him to leave. Fuck that, he thinks. He’s not going to watch his relationship go down the drain over a petty argument.
He knocks on the door a few times, then jiggles the doorknob, calling out your name and pleading for you to let him in. But you remain unmoved, denying him even the satisfaction of hearing your voice telling him to go away. This only adds to his frustration. He's the one you've upset, and yet here he is, begging for you to open up so he can fix things.
After a few more tries he scoffs, your words echoing in his mind once more. Leave. It crosses his mind as he makes his way to the front door of the apartment. He swings it open, ready to clear his head and crash at Johnny's for the night. But just as he's about to step out, he catches sight of a picture of the two of you on the coffee table where he keeps his keys.
It’s from your honeymoon phase when it was easier for the two of you to say you’d never let anything come between you – when love seemed to blind you both. Mark picks up the photo, memories flooding back to the day it was taken. It was the day you met his parents and shared your aspirations of becoming a fashion designer. You reassured them that you had your own dreams and weren't just with their son for his wealth – though his parents wouldn't have minded either way; they would have been content with any girl that made their son happy. And you made Mark happy – you make Mark so fucking happy.
Which is why he can’t believe he’s even considering leaving you in this apartment on your own after a fight. He shuts the front door and makes his way to the couch. He's eager to resolve things with you now, but both of you are too caught up in emotions, spouting shit you'll likely regret in the morning. So he opts to grab a few sofa pillows and a blanket from the storage closet instead. He strips down from his dress shirt and pants, throwing them to the floor before lying back and resting his eyes with a heavy mind.
Regret doesn't hit you until 2:00 am the following morning, when you're met with the chill of an empty space beside you as you reach out to cuddle your boyfriend, only to find him absent. Sure you thought he was overreacting to the news, but you're also painfully aware that your own words were uncalled for. You shouldn’t have asked him to leave – you didn’t want him to.
As you heard the front door open and then close with a clink, a thick lump formed in your throat. The realisation that you had driven him away hit you hard, and you lost all motivation. You lay on your bed, makeup still intact, as you sniffled and sobbed quietly into your pillow. And even now, after tossing and turning from your mind running laps, you’d only managed to sleep for a few minutes.
You stretch your stiff legs and reluctantly leave your bed, unlocking your bedroom door with sleepy eyes. You're taken aback when you see Mark sleeping soundly on the sofa, his breath steady with his eyes closed. You thought he had left, but there he is, covered only by the blanket from the storage closet. It breaks your heart to see him like this; he's likely cold, and he'll probably have a stiff neck in the morning for practice. And you know it's all your fault.
The guilt eats away at you, and without hesitation, you rush to the bedroom to grab his pillows and an extra blanket. Realistically, you should wake him up and insist he sleeps in bed, but the fear of his lingering anger keeps you from doing so. Instead, you kneel in front of him, attempting to swap the sofa pillows for his own bed pillows.
However, your efforts prove futile because Mark is a light sleeper – a detail you foolishly overlooked in your worried state of mind. He blinks as he wakes up once, then twice, appearing confused to find you in front of him in the living room instead of beside him in bed.
“Baby?” He whispers, his eyes hazy as he tries to make sense of what you're doing. It doesn’t take him long once he spots the sofa cushion in your hand to put the pieces together.
You bite your lip and sigh, “I know you're mad at me, but I didn’t want you to wake up stiff in the morning.”
Mark's chest constricts. How could he possibly stay mad at you when you're so cute, fussing over him like this? He notices the smudge of black makeup beneath your eye, and his heart tightens once more – this time with sadness rather than affection.
His hand reaches out to touch your cheek, and you’re shocked at the touch. “You’ve been crying?” He asks and you bow your head.
"I thought you left..."
Mark wants to laugh at the irony. You asked him to leave, and yet here you are, upset at the idea of his departure. He swears if he weren't so in love with you, he'd rant about how much you mess with his head, pushing him to the edge only to pull him back again.
“Would never leave you, baby, you know that,” his voice is soft and comforting as the rough edge of his fingertips finds your jaw.
You can't control it; tears fall freely from your eyes. He's being incredibly considerate and gentle with you, even after you acted like a bitch. Honestly, you almost wish he'd just yell at you instead. But he doesn’t, his eyes widen and he immediately sits up straight letting the blanket fall to the floor as he pulls you up to sit on his lap.
He shushes you, his hands finding your waist where he rubs soothing soft circles into the fabric of your tank top, “Hey, why are you crying? I’m here…please don’t get upset, Y/N.”
His kindness only amplifies your guilt.
"I'm so sorry," you stifle in short sobs, your voice almost cracking. "I should've talked to you about the job offer before signing the contract... I-I didn't mean to act so selfishly. I just... I wasn't thinking."
Mark gives you a half-smile as he runs a hand through your hair. "It's okay, baby... You got caught up in your dream. I'm sorry for not realising that. I'm the one being selfish by always expecting you to put me first."
"No—"
He interrupts you to continue his apology. "You were right, you know. I always expect you to wait for me while I'm on tour. I never considered it from the other side, with me waiting for you... But I will. I'll wait because I know how much this job means to you."
Your face buries itself in the crook of his neck as you cry even harder, and he tuts gently while rubbing your back.
"Please don’t cry, Y/N," he murmurs softly. "I hate seeing you upset."
"Can’t help it," you muffle. "I hate that I upset you…"
Mark pulls you away from his neck, needing to look into your eyes as he speaks. "It's normal for couples to argue, baby. We just need to promise to communicate better, okay?"
His fingers stroke your cheeks again, and you lean into his touch. The warmth of his hand feels so comforting as if he was made to soothe your skin, the only person capable of bringing you relief. You bite your lip and nod against his palm, because you're more than willing to work on your communication if it means never feeling like this again.
"Now, give me a smile. You know, the pretty one I like," he says with a laugh. "If I'm not going to see you for the next six months, I don’t want one of our last moments together to be so... sad."
You smile at him and press your forehead against his with a whisper. "Me neither.”
You’re so close to each other that you’re practically sharing the same breath, if you had said that two hours ago you wouldn’t have believed yourself. But here you are, lips so close that your heavy breathing practically begs him to kiss you.
Mark feels it too, so when he does, it's like the softness of his lips is a bandage, mending the angry tension between the two of you. It patches up the last few hours that have transpired, and when he pulls away, it feels as if nothing even happened.
His hands grip your hips firmly, his fingers pressing down as he guides your body to grind against his clothed crotch. His lips find yours again, accompanied by a groan that escapes into your mouth. It's only when you feel him harden beneath you that you remember he was half-naked on the sofa – clearly after you locked him out of the bedroom.
Suddenly feeling suffocated by your own clothes, you pull away from him to strip off your tank top, tossing it over your head before discarding it somewhere in the living room. You yearn to meet his lips again – the only place you truly feel safe – but Mark wants to savour the way you look. Your clothed cunt eagerly grinding against his hard-on, hips chasing a high so eagerly that your bra strap has slid loosely down your arm.
You're a vision, Mark thinks, one that has him salivating and desperate to fuck you. He almost curses at himself for nearly ruining it all, for nearly walking out on the most beautiful person on the planet, the best sex he's ever had – and not only that but also the funniest, sweetest person he knows he'll ever meet.
He leans into your neck, his nose nuzzling into you as he whispers softly, "I'm sorry... so sorry, Y/N." His hand leaves your hips to cup your breast over your bra, massaging the mound with just enough pressure to elicit soft moans from your lips.
“‘s okay,” you whimper.
Your head falls back as his hand snakes around to unclasp it. He wastes no time brushing his intrusive fingers down your chest, wearing a filthy smirk because he knows just how sensitive you are there. The tip of his finger circles around your nipple until he’s right in the centre, feeling it harden under his touch. He pinches it, and you jolt forward on his cock, making his boxers tighten, and he groans.
He loves how responsive you were to him, watching you writhe over him as he touched you in torturous pleasure. Just the way you arch your back into his touch has pre-cum leaking out of his cock.
He leans in this time, sucking on your nipple and opening wide to get as much of the tender tissue of your breast in his mouth as possible. He holds your waist in place to keep you grinding on him to entice enough friction for him to feel good too.
And when he looks down to see where the two of you meet, he moans when he sees the wet patch leaking through your shorts onto his boxers.
“Fuck, so wet for me, baby. Just for me.”
You whimper, and his hand slips into the hem of your shorts. You’re glad you never wear panties to bed because his fingers find your clit immediately, relieving you of some of the neediness you’ve been feeling from grinding down on him. He rubs small circles as his mouth licks and sucks and nips at your bud.
“Mark…”
“Shhh baby,” he coos, “wanna make it up to you. Please let me make it up to you, let me make you feel good.”
You whimper with a nod of your head, humping into his hand, legs opening wider to give him easier access to the place you’re most sensitive. You let out mild pants, hips bucking more aggressively from the stimulation on both your nipple and clit.
And when Mark notices you getting close, he pulls off your tit to look up at your face. It’s his favourite part — watching your features contort when the bliss is at its highest. It makes his chest swell with pride knowing he’s the one making you cum, knowing his touch is enough to make you shake and moan. And if he wasn’t such a selfish lover, he’d think the sight is something everyone should see at least once.
As you come down from your orgasm, your eyes flutter open to meet him. Mark doesn’t know whether it’s from seeing your orgasm paired with the argument from earlier but he’s the hardest he’s ever been.
You notice it too, looking down and giggling. “Now it’s my turn to make it up to you.”
He lets out a soft huff, and a muscle in his jaw twitches with his Adam's apple bobbing in his throat before he nods. You free his cock from his boxers and shimmy yourself out of your shorts. You let out identical gasps when your bare cunt brushes against the tip of his cock.
Slowly, you sink onto him, fully feeling him inside of you. Your head falls forward, your forehead resting against his shoulder as you take in the size of him, the way he fills you just right — the way he always does.
The stretch as you take him in never gets old, eliciting the same whimpers and whines. You can feel his hands resting on your hips, then slipping to the bend of your waist, silently urging you to move as he presses you downwards.
You lift your hips, slow and steady as you let the sensations wash over you, drawing a low groan from deep in his chest. His grip on your body tightens as you sink back down, blunt nails digging into your skin. The sounds he makes only drive you further into finding a teasing rhythm because his voice is just so pretty. The sounds are soon muffled to your disappointment when his mouth presses into your skin, so his tongue can slide along the top of your breast — making the disappointment fade away real quick.
You let out a breathy cry, hands rising from where they’ve been resting, flattening against his chest, to wrap around his shoulders. The slow pace you’d adopted was becoming not enough. And you could tell from the way Mark is rutting his hips up to meet you, he shares the same sentiment.
Your mouths collide as you pick up the pace, using his shoulders to leverage yourself as you bounce up and down on his cock. When he breaks from the kiss, an unrestrained groan slips past his lips, low and rough, followed by another, and you have to bite back a whimper of your own.
Mark can’t help the noises, he just loves the way you swivel your hips in a way that makes him see stars. He loves watching you work yourself on him for pleasure – he loves when you ride him.
And right when you squeeze around him, he rewards you with a loud, obscene groan, a sound that makes you dizzy and limp. Everything about Mark is intoxicating and downright addicting, and you were in no hurry to kick that addiction. In fact, you craved more of it – needed more.
You grab his hands and guide them across your body. He squeezes them at your hips, smoothing across your thighs, your stomach. His hands were everywhere, eyes dark and desperate, wordlessly begging for you to give him what he needed, the same thing he’d been kind enough to already give you.
So you rock yourself forward, providing a new type of friction that makes you whine helplessly into his skin. Blunt nails mark into the plush of your thighs, a futile attempt at grounding himself. The upward thrust of his hips and the strained catch of his breath tells you that he's growing impatient. You know the pace was slow, but damn it, it felt so fucking good to feel him like this, every inch of him sliding into you, hitting all the spots that makes your brain stop working. It also felt like a sick little way to get revenge...
“Faster,” you hear him say. “Please baby, need it faster.”
You could feel his hips bucking up to meet you. Then his thumb finds your clit, working in circles and making you squeeze around him with a shrill, gasping cry. It was his attempt at bargaining with you, doing anything to make you speed up and shamelessly fuck yourself on his cock. Maybe if he pleases you, you’ll let him cum.
“Please fuck me properly baby, need it,” he rasps, “You want me to forgive you right?”
And then you remember what led you here in the first place. You’d upset him and now you’re teasing him – you suppose it’s only fair if you pick up the pace a little more, fuck him messily and desperately enough to have him dizzying towards his climax.
And once you do, his thrusts grow sloppier, and your thighs start aching. It feels too fucking good so all that you can do is cling to him and let him take the lead, strong hands guiding you as he sucks against your neck. And even though you’re supposed to be the one making him cum, you find yourself buried in the crook of his neck, gasping as your walls clench and nails dig into the skin of his strong back.
The slight stinging sensation is enough to work Mark over the edge, and you feel him twitch inside of you, sending shock waves up your spine as he fucks his cum inside of you with a final powerful thrust. You roll your hips to help him along, taking all you can get from him and he moans his appreciation as you do.
You remain tangled up in one another as you come down from your respective highs with foreheads pressed close. You wrestle to find his hand, lacing your fingers with his as he rubs his thumb over your knuckles. He kisses your nose, then your lips, with a tenderness that makes your heart feel like it’s being squeezed.
You don’t want to move just yet, so you release your hands and wrap them around his neck, nuzzling your nose against his before you speak.
"Mark?" You mumble, your voice tired and hazy. He hums in response.
"I’m sorry," you say softly.
You feel his smile against your mouth before he kisses your lips. "It’s okay, baby. I don’t even remember what we were fighting for."
#🏷frompaige#mark lee smut#nct dream smut#nct 127 smut#nct smut#mark lee x reader#nct dream x reader#nct 127 x reader#nct x reader#kpop smut#nct hard hours#nct oneshot
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hickeys and swimsuits
sana x fem!reader - trailer ▸ part 1 ▸ part 2
synposis: day 3 on the set of the bachelorette and y/n has to deal with sleeping with her best friend, a messy group date, and a tender evening.
warnings: teensy bit of smut (a quickie in the bathroom), allude to sexual harassment
w/c: 7.7k
a/n: can you tell i dislike suju? you’ll probably be able to after this LOL
₊˚⊹ 𐦍༘⋆₊ ⊹
the decision to leave or stay if you’re the first one awake after a one night stand will always be unnecessarily difficult. luckily, or maybe not depending on how you look at it, sana’s grip on you would not allow for you to escape anytime soon so you let yourself be held, your head resting on top of hers, arms thrown lazily over her side.
you’re not really sure what came over you last night. after she had kissed you, you felt a need to finish what she started. you didn’t regret it though, but you were still yet to unentangle your feelings for her and what this meant for the both of you. if it even meant anything at all, it would be easy to brush it off as a spur of the moment decision built on pent up anger and lust from being untouched for so long. at least for you anyway, you weren’t sure when the last time sana slept with someone was, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it was with jihyo, she wasn’t really one for sleeping with people without knowing them first. but maybe you were wrong, you were learning so much more about her in these last two days than you have in years of knowing her.
you’re a little unnerved thinking about the amount of people sana has slept with. taking slight satisfaction in the purple marks that littered her neck, and the rest of her body knowing that you were the reason for them.
sana’s eyes slowly flutter open as you’re tracing one of these marks and she yawns, stretching with an adorable mewl and collapsing back into you.
“mmorning.” she mumbles into your chest, voice deep and laden with sleep and you can’t help but find it unbelievably attractive.
you brush your fingers through her hair, sorting through her knots. “morning…”
you lie there for a few moments, daring each other to speak first.
she’s the one who breaks the silence, always the one with more initiative, proven last night by kissing you first, “so……… should we talk about this?”
you hum, “if you’re ready for it.”
she whines against you, lightly hitting your chest, “stop that. i wanna know what you think without deflecting to me.”
you chuckle, “sorry, but yeah it’d probably be good to talk about it. i guess we can start with, um… well did you… regret it?” you can’t help the way your heart rate picks up, maybe you weren’t really ready to brush this off as a one time thing after all.
she places a hand over your chest, right where your heart would be, looking up at you with those eyes that you could drown in, “no. i don’t regret it. do you?”
you smile at her, thankful for the reassurance she offers, “no, i don’t either.”
she smiles back at you, her fingers drumming lightly over your heart, “is this… like… what does this mean for us? because i don’t want anything to change between us, i care about you too much to lose you as my best friend.”
you frown, “i care about you too… i mean… i don’t really know, like you’re still the bachelorette of the country right now like… how do you feel about that?”
“i’m enjoying getting to know these people. some of them really do have potential i think. this timing just kinda sucks huh?”
your heart drops a little at her honesty. you start thinking maybe its time to be a little honest to yourself.
“it does but that doesn’t mean i wanna just ignore this happened sana. i don’t think…” you sigh, thoughts all muddled and on the tip of your tongue.
her hand is trailing patterns up and down your bare back, looking at you with wide eyes. you would do anything to keep that face happy.
“you’re right. the timing does kinda suck. i guess we can just… keep this casual? assuming you want this to happen again?”
she nods, but an expression washes over her face that you can’t really decipher. “alright. casual. we can do that. just like, when we need a little stress relief or whatever.”
you nod, “and it’s just temporary until like you find your person here. wouldn’t want you to be sexually frustrated or pent up or anything and make decisions based on who you wanna fuck most right?”
“right! so you’re doing me an even bigger favour right now!”
“yep!”
you’re both laying there awkward now, talking in circles convincing yourself this was a good idea.
a loud knock comes at the door, and you’re both jumping, splitting to opposite sides of the bed. you look at each other a little awkwardly, you let out a small chuckle before getting up and pulling some clothes on haphazardly and answering the door.
it's one of the costume designers, "oh! y/n! sorry i didn't know you were in there, is sana around? it's time to get changed and start the filming for today."
you hum and let the woman in with her entourage of makeup and hair stylists.
but then one of the makeup artists quickly gasps as sana reveals her neck.
you turn around and blush, sana's still naked as the day she was born, there was no reason to put on clothes when she was going to get changed into new ones anyway, her blanket falling to her waist exposing the carnage that was the evidence of last night's activities.
the people in the room look awkwardly between the two of you, and you clear your throat and walk out, giving them some privacy, your head bowed and beet red as you make your way to the kitchen.
you dimly heard some scolding from the makeup artists, but thankfully no one came after you to tell you off or anything. hopefully the design team could keep this little secret under wraps, although you could hear the gossip and rumours going around already. you'd have to be more careful going forward.
sana's got an individual date first on the schedule today. so you decide to head over to the contestants' living area after you finish your breakfast and get dressed.
the drive over is short and you enjoy the light breeze from the slightly open window. you remember the slip of paper miyeon slipped you last night, pulling it out of your pocket and typing the digits into your phone.
you're not sure what the first message you should send her is. you're hit with the sudden realisation that outside of this show she was a literal model, she probably had thousands of followers and a life of her own with friends far above your social standing.
but she wouldn't give you her number only for you to discard it right? whatever, this wasn't anything to overthink, and you wanted to check in on how miyeon was doing anyway, you quickly type out a message and hit send.
y/n: hi this is y/n - how are you? settling back in at home okay? lmk if u ever want a chat or anything i'm here <3
you're surprised at her quick reply.
miyeon: hi y/n! it's good to hear from you. yeah honestly had the best night's sleep in so long, living in the mansion with all the others is fine and all but sharing rooms with sanghee was so not. that girl did not know how to clean up after herself and had the worst sleep schedule
you laugh a little at her antics.
y/n: right forgot you were kinda prissy. dunno if i feel bad for sanghee or you
miyeon: hey!!! i am NOT prissy! idc what ppl say abt beauty sleep and whatnot but you DO need it! proper quality sleep has been proven to improve skin, regulate emotions, and keep your brain sharp! it's a really important part of the day!
y/n: yeah yeah yeah i'm rolling my eyes btw since you can't see. but im glad ur feeling better rested miyeon, its gonna be real weird without you here now
miyeon: hey u got this. and im only a text or call away if u want a break from everything going on inside, ik how crazy it gets in there so having some outside perspective can be good for you
y/n: and im really grateful for that. thankyou miyeon <3 r u gonna watch the screening of last night's ep later?
miyeon: u mean do i wanna watch myself get eliminated? i think ill pass on that thx 😂 but the contestants always watch it tgt if u wanna join them - good to have some ppl to watch along with especially since its pretty jarring seeing everyone on the big screen and how things r all edited tgt. and seeing sana may come as a shock to u too u never know
y/n: yeah ur right im actually headed there rn since sana's going on a solo date and i have nothing better to do soo... also oopsies spoiler alert but ur not gonna leak anything to the media right ㅋㅋㅋㅋ
miyeon: who knows... call me prissy one more time and ur name's gonna be on the national headlines tmr fr ;P
y/n: u wouldnt!
miyeon: i would. jks ofc i wouldn't but since ur going to the mansion anyway make sure to talk to shindong and siwon and their whole boys club. now that im out i can give u all the inside goss and if sana ends up with one of those dicks well...
y/n: oo tyty ill be sure to keep that in mind
miyeon: ofc y/n rmbr anything u need we're friends yeah? don't be a stranger :)
y/n: thanks miyeon i rly do appreciate it! talk later :))
you turn off your phone, happy that miyeon was just as receptive and positive in the real world as she was when you were together. you had nothing to worry about after all.
₊˚⊹ 𐦍༘⋆₊ ⊹
the house is in complete mayhem as you step inside. apparently someone had accidentally set off the fire alarms so everyone was already up and about and still mopping up wet patches here and there.
you spot jacky and eunji in the kitchen and make a beeline for them.
“-if you had just kept your pants on!-“
“no don’t blame this on me you know very well that i need to air dry or i’m gonna get sick and i won’t be able to perform-“
you clear your throat interrupting their… certainly intriguing conversation.
“y/n! please tell eunji it is perfectly normal to air dry after a shower.”
“not when you’re living with 15 other people!”
“i’ve lived with more than that back home and they didn’t have a problem with it!”
“because you australians are always half naked for some reason or another anyway. but you can't pull that shit here!”
jacky rolls his eyes and goes back to flipping the eggs he’s got in a pan, no doubt making lunch for the them and the rest of the contestants.
“have you eaten yet y/n? there was a bit of an accident this morning so the kitchen’s been off limits until now.”
“oh yeah i ate before i came here, thanks though. how are you guys today?”
they share a glance, “i think you’re the one who should be answering that question. heard sana made you go home after the stunt you pulled last night.”
with everything that happened you’d almost forgotten how the night actually ended for most of the other contestants.
“oh right!" you laugh a little awkwardly, "we made up so everything’s all good now. i’ll probably be laying off the alcohol for the rest of these rose ceremonies though…”
“awwwh but you’re the only one who can keep up with me! all the other guys here tap out soo early and none of the girls want to drink.”
you laugh, grabbing some plates to help jacky and eunji plate up the food they’ve prepared.
jacky’s yelling at everyone to come get their food and you follow along, greeting everyone and moving towards the couch where they were setting up to watch last night’s episode of the bachelorette along with the rest of the country. it was being aired earlier in the day today because it was the weekends and the highest stream counts for the weekends would be at this time.
you slot yourself in next to jiwon who offers a kind smile, the complete opposite of the stink eye you feel heechul giving the back of your head after you’d essentially tried to get him eliminated last night.
jun is setting up the tv and when everything’s ready he rushes back over and plops himself down on the other side of you, throwing an arm over your shoulder in a friendly greeting and looking back to heechul and the boys club as miyeon called them, flipping them off with a tongue sticking out in defense of you. you laugh with him as heechul sputters and the episode starts playing.
most of it you had already seen, although you got to hear a bit more of sana and jiwon’s conversation during the childcare group date after you’d left, as well as her conversations with the other contestants on that date. she seemed to get along with everyone there, and the kids were a good conversation sparker, sana had picked a good bunch for the first group date. the camera spent most of its time following her around as you’d expect, but it included a couple comedic clips of the others being terrible with kids. you’re all laughing and teasing each other when you see dae fall into a pit of mud after a purposeful ploy from the kids, and aww and coo when jiwon finally lies them all to rest during their afternoon nap.
the episode also includes a few cuts to the contestants in the mansion, the ones who weren't picked for the group date, so you get to see a little of how they function as a house as well.
then comes the solo date.
everyone's a little curious at what wonsik did to woo sana to get him that first impression rose from the first night. he's still just as shy and awkward as you remember from your first few interactions with him on the first night, not that that isn't what sana likes, she just usually goes for the louder, boisterous types, especially on a first impression since those are the ones that draw people's attention around them.
the date was just as extravagant as the producers said it would be. they definitely spared no expense, and from the stats you overheard them talking about, this season of the bachelorette was definitely hyping up to be the most successful season so far, it had even gained international attention for its unique approach.
after sana and wonsik's helicopter ride overlooking the valley, they were situated in a beautiful dip in the valley, overlooking lush green fields with a soft breeze and the sunset in the background.
admittedly it was cute watching them play board games and feed each other small fruits, and apparently wonsik was a much better conversationalist when he was in one-on-one situations, even cracking a few jokes that had you and the rest of the watchers laughing.
you couldn't help the pit of jealousy growing in your stomach though. you could finally realise what it was and call it jealousy but it was probably just because you were more involved with sana than ever now and you weren't good with the whole non-exclusive thing. it would take some time getting used to for sure.
but your jaw clenches when suddenly, screen-wonsik is kissing sana.
everyone in the room starts whooping and clapping wonsik on the back. you can hear the mc voice-over talking about how this was the first kiss of the season and that wonsik was a lucky guy to be getting in so early but you drown everything out as you watch the camera zoom in romantically, hyperfixated on the way sana's lips reacted against his.
he's got a hand at her waist, shuffling in closer and she has a hand carding into his hair, your eye twitches when you think you see a hint of a pink tongue dipping in.
he's laying her down and crawling on top of her on the picnic mat and it feels way too intimate for national television and you couldn't hear the sounds she could be making but you sure as hell can imagine the soft whimpers and gasps because she was making those sounds for you just hours after what was happening on the screen right now.
finally the camera pans away to a long shot of the two of them against the backdrop of the sunset and the valley and cuts to another scene of the mansion contestants but the liplock seemed to never end, even after the camera stopped shooting.
wonsik looks terribly embarassed when you turn to where all the commotion is behind you, people congratulating him on how his date went, asking for any more details that the editing could have left out, some looking on in jealousy, and some looking a little sad.
everyone's attention is shifted however when momo walks in through the door, back from her solo date with sana this morning.
all of a sudden, people are rushing towards her, asking how her date went, what they did, whether or not they kissed, poor momo looks very overwhelmed but she's not entirely focused, looking behind her and smiling.
and then again, the attention shifts, sana walking in with a bright smile, in casual clothes and jeans, waving a bright greeting at everyone.
you're still sat exactly where you are, emotions festering up inside of you.
"wow it's crazy to be here during the day! hey guys! just dropping off momo and checking in on how everyone's doing."
the excitement of the morning culminates, and its almost like a rose ceremony again, with everyone vying for sana's attention, wanting to show her around, leading her out towards the gardens, talking and chattering eagerly.
eventually, you're left inside with momo, who offers a polite wave, sitting down across from you, wonsik, who was too shy to join everyone on the tour of the house, and heechul, siwon, shindong, and seungri, the 'boys club'.
seungri's laughing boisterously, congratulating wonsik on his date with sana.
"congrats man. wouldn't have known you had it in you. did you guys get up to anything else?" he's wiggling his eyebrows suggestively. you're disgusted.
"n-no. she pushed me off pretty much as soon as the camera cut away."
"aww really? cockblock much?" shindong's snickering along.
heechul's shuffling a little closer to momo, "how about you momo? how was your date? you didn't miss that much by the way, wonsik and sana kissed yesterday on the date, that's when you walked in." he tries to offer her a kind smile, but you notice the way she's cringing, moving a little closer towards you.
"it was good. we went to a dog shelter which was really sweet of her since she knows i love them and i've been missing my two dogs back home. even had my allergy meds ready because i didn't know what we'd be doing today, shows she really listens."
you smile at momo's response, glad to hear their date went well and your heart warming learning about sana's actions.
the boys had stopped listening halfway through, going back to teasing wonsik so it was really just you and momo talking.
"yeah we also got to talking a lot since we're both from japan and all. it was really nice to be with someone who understood what it felt like to move here and be homesick, it was also the first time in a long time that i had spoken to someone in japanese that wasn't my family so it was pretty funny, well at least for her, to watch me make an absolute fool of myself stumbling over basic words and phrases."
you're laughing, knowing how much sana cares about her heritage, you were glad momo was here to be able to share that with her, you were firsthand witness to some of sana's homesickness bouts and you knew having a sense of a home away from home was extremely valuable.
"oh?" heechul butts into the conversation again, "nico nico nii~! momo-chan wa onii-chan de yonde mo ii-yo~" (t: momo you can call me big brother)
you and momo both stare at heechul for a few seconds in silence, trying to decipher what the fuck you just saw with your bare eyes, before bursting into laughter.
he looks confused, breaking his cutesy character pose and pouting and whining, "what! did i say it wrong?"
you're wiping tears off the side of your eyes, "what the fuck kinda hentai have you been watching to learn that shit heechul-"
momo's still laughing, her nose scrunching cutely, "no like! i get the nico thing like that was huge in japan like in 2015- still weird as fuck to see a grown man doing it ten years later though-"
you're both laughing between words, drawing the attention of the other occupants of the house who are rounding out back towards the living room after finishing the house tour.
sana looks curious as she's led over, "momoring, what's so funny?"
momo's turning and grinning at the sight of sana, pulling on her arm and leading her in front of heechul, "heechul do it again! for sana pleaseeeee-" she turns on the extra charm, hitting him with a final, "onegai~?" and you could see the imaginary nosebleed he gets from the action, the type that's edited into animes.
so he puts his hands up, fingers placed in the signature nico position, "nico nico nii~! sana-chan wa onii-chan de yonde mo ii-yo~"
the repeat of his absolutely embarrassing gesture sends both you and momo into another fit of laughter, clutching onto each other in weakness.
sana's face goes red and she looks to be supressing her own laughter, but she gives in eventually, letting out a loud bark and slapping momo on the back with her hand, the other hand over her mouth.
some others laugh as well, whether at the cutesy action heechul pulled, or from understanding what onii-chan meant and putting two and two together.
heechul just stands there looking awfully proud of himself for being the 'funny' guy for once.
eventually, a producer walks in, tapping sana and sliding an envelope into her hand, and gestures for all the participants to sit down.
sana clears her throat, still giggling a little as she moves towards the front of the room, "well thankyou everyone for the tour of your lovely place. i hope you all enjoy the rest of your stay here. i've got this envelope in my hand now, with the names of the next group date we'll be going on." she waves the envelope around a little, and everyone plays their part, ooh-ing and waiting in anticipation, "8 people here will be helping me out with the iconic photoshoot date!"
all the participants look around excitedly, the photoshoot date was always a fan-favourite, and it always made an appearance on every bachelor episode, usually with a few group photo shoots and always with a one-on-one photoshoot that's super romantic and revered after.
sana lets the anticipation and excitement settle in, before dramatically pulling out the piece of paper within the envelope, unfolding it, and beginning to read out names, "sunwoo."
sunwoo stands up with a smile, moving over towards sana at the usher of the producers' hands, sana returns the smile.
"eunha." a short girl with a bubbly personality skips over.
"onii-chan~" sana teasingly drags out the word and you stifle a few laughs with momo as heechul beams and stalks forward.
"siwon, shindong, seungri, nayeon."
they all stand up and walk over, you notice sana has picked people that haven't been on a date yet.
"and... wonsik!"'
there's a bit of a stunned silence across the room as wonsik gets up and approaches sana, kissing her on the cheek and taking his place next to her.
wonsik was the only person in that lineup that had already had extended one-on-one time with sana, when some others like jihyo, (although you didn't really mind much that jihyo hasn't been picked for anything yet), hadn't had the opportunity for any time outside of this mansion. so it did seem a little unfair.
you feel your earlier emotions returning to you, the incredulity of heechul's actions completely forgotten as you think back to the full-blown make out session you, along with the rest of the nation had witnessed only an hour ago.
sana's giving a few general closing remarks, telling the chosen group date members what they need to prepare, and saying she'll be waiting for them out front once they're done gathering their things.
you can tell the mood's been a bit sullied as the chosen contestants rush up towards their rooms to change and get ready, the leftover participants left sitting on their hands with nothing to do for the rest of the day.
you say your quick goodbyes, heading off after sana since you would be tagging along on this date as usual.
once you see her though, something comes over you, the heavy, yucky emotions boiling up, and you pull on her arm, a little roughly, and drag her to the nearest bathroom.
"y/n?! what-"
you shut her up, pinning her against the door, locking it and connecting your lips frantically.
she gasps into you, but melts almost immediately, kissing you back with the same amount of intensity.
your tongue peeks out, swiping lightly across her bottom lip, she gasps, and you take the opportunity to gently prod your tongue into her mouth. her tongue comes up to meet yours and she moans when they touch, her hands coming up to grip onto your shoulders.
you're reminded of the fact that someone else was fortunate enough to hear these sounds yesterday.
and you despise it. snarling slightly, you break away, leaning down to kiss along her jawline, "you moan like that for him too hmm?"
she's breathless and confused, her mind muddled with the sudden attack, "w-what? who? huh?" she cuts herself off with another moan as you find the sensitive spot behind her ear that you discovered last night.
"you know- shy little wonsik." you take an earlobe between your teeth, spitting out the name, hands starting to move, grasping her waist, thumbing the bottom of her shirt.
"w-what? n-no- ah! no i-"
"no? you sure you're not lying? looked like you had a good time with him yesterday." you're moving back towards her neck, a hand dipping underneath her shirt and feeling the warm skin of her stomach and inching upwards.
"no what? y/n- fuck-" you're sucking at the sensitive skin on her neck now, "w-wait no y/n- d-don't- no marks-"
you're snarling again, "what? can't have wonsik or the others know you're already being taken care of?" you respect her wishes though, backing off but dropping onto your knees, pushing up her top and kissing her stomach. "fine. i'm marking you up here though. and you're not gonna tell me off this time because no-one-" you suck, "gets to see this much of you right?" biting lightly, "just me hmm?" licking along your newly formed hickey.
she's got her hands in your hair now, lightly pulling in the perfect way, bottom lip trapped between her teeth as she tries to keep quiet, eyes heavy-lidded and glossed over, looking down at you with an expression you just want to devour.
so you move back up, capturing her lips once again as she moans, subtly grinding her hips against you, gasping when your hand makes its way to her left breast, kneading softly over her bra.
a tweak of the nipple and she's a whimpering mess around you, pleading, "fuck fuck y/n please-"
you tut, "you think we have enough time baby?" you're other hand that's not teasing her chest undoes the button on her jeans. "the others could be outside waiting for you right now on the other side of this door."
"please! y-yes yes we have enough time just touch me i'm- fuck- soaked already it won't take much- please-"
you undo her jeans with ease, slipping your hand into her underwear, the other one still kneading and groping her chest.
"mm you are soaked baby." you trace down her center, "were you like this yesterday when he was kissing you?" you find her clit and rub, a little harsher than the way she likes but she leaks onto you at the action.
"n-no stop- ugh- stop talking about him y/n what the fuck-"
you continue your assault on her clit, your other hand sliding under her bra and pinching a nipple as she jolts into you, "get used to it. you're the nation's sweetheart right now. you and him are all they're going to be talking about after that show you put on yesterday."
her head lolls back, hitting the door softly as she groans, "h-he doesn't get me like this though. only y-you do- fuck- please y/n please just fuck me."
you don't have much time to keep teasing her so you quickly push into her, cursing at the way she clenches around you immediately, all tight and hot and wet. you don't waste any time, thrusting in and out of her as her head comes back down, biting on your shoulder to keep her voice in.
"mm- mm- faster- baby please-"
you take in her request, plunging into her and adding another finger, in and out, in and out. the wet sounds of her pussy filling the bathroom, you don't have too much arm space to move with her jeans still in the way, but you make do, conscious that the both of you needed to look presentable very soon.
you're pretty much the only thing holding her up now, her legs having gave way a while ago, your hand moving out from under her shirt, holding her hips up and against the door as you thrust into her, thankful that the lack of space meant the door wasn't making too much noise.
you feel her getting tighter around you, bringing a thumb up to press against her clit, "this gets you off doesn't it-" you're slightly out of breath, "knowing just a few meters away the guy you kissed just hours before being fucked senseless by me is waiting for you for even the slightest chance he'll get to feel you tight and hot around him like you are around me right now."
she's mewling, her face still buried in your neck, becoming impossibly tighter again at your words.
"they can't do it like this. everytime you kiss one of them, you'll know you're coming back home to be fucked by me."
you punctuate the end of your sentence with a curl of your fingers inside her, hooking on as she cums with a muffled whine.
and just in time too, when a loud knock on the bathroom door jolts the both of you, you pull out quickly and help zip up her jeans again while she recovers.
"sana? everyone's ready and waiting for you now."
"c-coming!"
her voice is scratchy and shaky, still leaning onto you as you readjust her shirt and comb your fingers through her hair, trying to make her presentable again.
you smirk a little at her word choice, stifling a laugh as you fix her, but she catches you, sending a weak slap onto your shoulder.
you step back and look at her, she's still breathing slightly heavily but otherwise no real damage can be seen.
"okay you're good."
she sidesteps you to check herself in the mirror quickly, adjusting a little. "jeez y/n didn't think you'd become so much of a sex fiend when we said we'd keep it casual."
you roll your eyes, "hurry up your lovers are waiting for you." you wait for her to go out first though, following behind closely as you greet everyone again, a little thrilled at having to act as if nothing happened in the last 10 minutes between the living room and the car you're getting into right now.
sana's her usual smiley self around everyone, and you take glee in knowing that just minutes prior you were literally inside her and pulling noises out of her no one else here would be able to hear.
₊˚⊹ 𐦍༘⋆₊ ⊹
the group date was certainly shaping up to be one of the most interesting dates of the season.
right now, nayeon, sana, and eunha were learning a short dance number together. their whole set was dressing up as idols so instead of doing a photoshoot, they were going to shoot a small tiktok so it could be used as promotion for the show as well.
before them, sunwoo and sana had done a black-tie sort of concept where they were dressed in a long suit and flowing dress with masquerade masks on. it was all very mysterious and romantic. siwon was also in the set but he was acting as a butler, it was tradition to have photoshoot themes where one contestant was always trying to get in between the set couple, both for some drama and some comedic relief.
the next set involved all the boys stripping down for a beach theme. you had a hunch it was also just to increase the sex appeal of the show. sex sells after all.
and so, sana was put in a tiny bikini, and you had to run from her glare as the makeup artist gaped at the newly formed mark on her upper stomach. so much for no visible marks.
you rolled your eyes as the boys whooped and cheered as they watched sana enter the set. you scoff as almost all of their eyes went straight to either her chest or her ass.
nayeon and eunha come to stand next to you after they're finished changing out of their outfits to observe.
the photographer is telling them the directions for the first scene, sana was going to be lifted up onto seungri and sunwoo's shoulders, you can hear siwon whining and complaining about how sunwoo already had his almost solo photoshoot with her and it should be him.
no one pays him much mind though as seungri immediately goes for sana, lifting her up easily as she squeals in surprise, and settling her on one of his shoulders as sunwoo quickly steps in so sana's rested on his shoulder as well. you squint at the way seungri is looking up at sana.
"ugh that was so unnecessary." nayeon is glaring at them as well.
"right, the way he went at the first chance to grab her ass," eunha scoffs next to her as well, "trust seungri to be as gross as ever."
you raise an eyebrow at the two of them, "is this a common occurrence in the house?"
nayeon shrugs, "seungri's an ass. they all are. except for sunwoo maybe." you nod, noting the way sunwoo refuses to look up at sana, staring straight ahead at the camera, a hand placed carefully over her knee just to make sure she doesn't fall off.
"most of the girls just tend to leave them to their own devices inside the house. we don't really interact with them unless we have to. the first night, jacky almost beat up siwon for shit talking eunji."
they're moving into the second position, this time sana's on her knees with a sandcastle in front of her, and wonsik and shindong are helping her build it, with the other boys goofing off in the background.
"what'd he say?" you ask eunha, eyes still locked onto the scene in front of you.
"some shit about how she ought to look more like a girl. take out the piercings, grow out her hair, cover up her tattoos, all that bull. and that's not even the worst part, he just kept going on and on and then he called her a dyke and that's when jacky lost it."
"what the fuck?"
"yeah. he knows not to say shit around the other guys that aren't in his group now. but he still takes every chance he gets to try and 'convert' us." eunha says in quotation marks.
nayeon chimes in, "doesn't see us as competition because we're girls. just more possibilities for him in case sana doesn't pick him in the end."
shindong has built a slight protrusion out of the sand castle, you can't really tell what he's doing but the photographer is muttering and calling over a few producers who look a little frazzled.
they move on quickly, directing everyone into the ocean for the last shot.
"miyeon told me to keep an eye out for them. guess she was right."
they both look at you in surprise, "you've been talking to miyeon?"
you shrug, watching as sana shrieks when sunwoo playfully splashes water her way, urging her to come in deeper. "she gave me her number after she was eliminated, i texted her this morning."
"how's she doing? it felt terrible watching her go instead of heechul yesterday. honestly had to question sana's judgement a little."
you cringe a little remembering last night, "she's doing okay i think. and-"
you're interrupted by a commotion in the water, and you're running in without thinking, nayeon and eunha not far behind.
by the time you get there, sana's already out of the water, an arm over her chest, covering herself as the costume people quickly go in and shield her, scrambling and yelling for clothes.
you turn on your heel, stalking over to the cameras you knew were filming and shouting for them all to be cut.
once you’re sure that no one is taking advantage of sana anymore and filming without her consent, you’re spinning back to watch as producers are trying to pull apart sunwoo and seungri, seungri sporting a nasty looking black eye and a bleeding nose.
you’re quick to rush over to sana first though, she’s in an oversized shirt now with a towel wrapped around her.
“what happened? are you okay?”
she sniffles a little, her nose slightly red, “yeah yeah i’m fine. the waves were just really big and i didn’t see them coming. my top came undone and i thought seungri was coming towards me to help tie it back up but he.. um, well…” she blushes and looks away.
you're livid.
the producers look thankful as you march up towards them, hoping you were there to help the situation, but you walk straight up to seungri, bringing a knee up into his crotch, hard, and when he keels over in pain, you swing an uppercut right into his face.
you would've kicked him as well if there aren't suddenly arms around you, yanking you backwards, and you let them, but then you get a glimpse of a stupid grin and you knew it was seungri's buddies pulling you away you start writhing. your fist connects with a couple hard spots and you smirk when you hear a few groans of pain. eventually, it's sunwoo who pulls the guys off you harshly, throwing them down into the sand and standing next to you, still glaring at seungri.
"you think you're real slick huh? think you could get away with sexually harassing someone on national television?" you're seething, spitting words out as seungri is still doubled over.
"couldn't keep it in your pants for more than 2 minutes you'd risk your entire career and face-"
"y/n." sana's stepping up to you now, a hand on your shoulder trying to pacify you.
"pack your things and leave seungri. i never want to see you again. you can talk with your lawyers about editing that scene out but i have a feeling it'll be left in because drama pays more than whatever you can offer."
seungri is finally up, still bleeding and probably sporting a broken nose now, "but-"
"you heard her. get the fuck outta here before we press charges." you step forward now, and he shrinks, afraid you'll go for his balls again.
security has finally arrived on scene and they escort seungri off the premises.
things are still pretty much in disarray after that, but despite everything, sana still powers through, rejecting the offer to stop filming for today, instead, picking sunwoo as the star of the group date, the rest of you are sent back to either get changed or head back to the mansion to get ready for the night's rose ceremony.
you desperately want a moment alone with sana to check in with her. but she seems headstrong on bulldozing through the rest of the day, and you're whisked away soon enough.
₊˚⊹ 𐦍༘⋆₊ ⊹
the gossip spreads quickly.
after you've gotten changed into your outfit for the night, a sleek white suit with your hair carefully done up, courtesy of the costume and hair and makeup teams back at the bachelorette pad, you're sipping on a flute of champagne, talking with everyone about how the group date went.
"-and she sent him home after." eunha's finished telling the story to a few gasps and looks of shock.
"i knew i shoulda clocked that guy as soon as he made that comment about jiwon's dress." jacky's muttering, fists clenched in anger.
"poor sana i hope she's okay."
"yeah she was really incredible tonight to be fair. the producers had asked if she wanted a break and to continue filming tomorrow but she said she wanted to keep going."
"and sunwoo too, i'm glad he went in there and defended her. as jealous as i am that he won i'm glad she has him right now if she wants to talk." nayeon speaks up.
jihyo's loud voice is suddenly shouting from across the courtyard, "guys! look it's sana and sunwoo!"
everyone's rushing over towards the beach where it seems they had a long walk down from the photoshoot location all the way back to the mansion. your heart's pounding, wanting so badly to be with sana right now, to listen to her, to be angry for her, to be the one pulling her into an embrace right now as the contestants aww at the two of them hugging with the picturesque twilight in the background, sea breeze blowing softly.
they break away eventually, looking up towards all of you who wave and holler at them.
then they've interlocked hands, slowly making their way up to the mansion.
everyone is greeting each other again, but the producers quickly cut it short, saying the both of them have to go and get dressed so that the rose ceremony can begin.
the group disperses with a grumble, and you find yourself following sana, the costume designers not paying you any mind as you enter the designated dressing room inside the mansion.
"hey..."
sana jumps slightly but relaxes when she sees you, "hey yourself. what are you doing here?"
"just wanted to check in on you."
she tuts, "you're sweet y/n but there's no need for that. he was an ass and i sent him home. we don't have to worry about him anymore."
"yeah but.. like it's okay to still feel affected you know?"
she turns around, "zip me up?"
you nod, stepping forward and carefully reaching for the zipper on her back, sliding it up slowly, making sure it doesn't get caught on any outstanding threads.
she sighs, holding her hair over one shoulder so you can slide the zipper all the way up, "i'm just trying to get through today. after today's done... well if i still want to talk about it then i'll tell you. okay?"
you sigh softly against her, pressing your lips lightly against the back of her neck, "alright. just don't try to do everything yourself okay? i'm here."
a hand comes up and rests over yours, "i know baby. thankyou. c'mon, let's get this ceremony outta the way so we can go home and cuddle."
you hum, taking her hand and letting her lead you out of the dressing room and towards the courtyard.
₊˚⊹ 𐦍༘⋆₊ ⊹
you're getting a serious case of deja vu when the last 4 people are standing.
4 people were meant to be eliminated tonight, but since seungri was asked to leave early, sana only had to pick 3 more to leave.
the choices were between shindong, siwon, heechul, and jiwon.
surely this time sana wouldn't make a decision that was too surprising.
"jiwon." you can feel most of the room letting out a collective sigh of relief, and the stunned faces of the three leftover guys you wished you could frame and put up. there were bound to be screenshots and memes made off them anyway.
unlike the previous nights, no one really moves in to say goodbye to any of the guys, just waving a polite greeting as they exit.
the mc comes in next and wishes everyone a good night. sana goes forward to mingle a little more, wishing everyone well before she comes back to you, taking your hand and pulling you towards the front of the house, eager to go home.
the ride back is quiet but peaceful. you're hands have never left each others and you enjoy the short ride back to your shared home. once the driver has dropped you off you both head inside, take off those godforsaken heels, and drop down onto the couch.
sana's head in your lap, as you turn on the tv, pressing play on a random cartoon, carding your fingers through her hair.
you can tell the day has exhausted her, so you let her eyes drift shut, and her breathing even out, reaching for the blanket kept next to the couch and draping it over her.
you could take off her makeup and change her clothes later before taking her to bed, but for now, you were content to watch silly cartoons with sana safe in your hands.
#sana#minatozaki sana#twice sana#sana x reader#sana x fem!reader#sana x f!reader#sana smut#sana imagines#twice x reader#twice imagines#twice x fem!reader#twice x f!reader#twice#royaltozaki
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I noticed you asked for requests and idk if this is the way to ask, I think it is but I'm not sure, sorry if it's not, you can dm me if you have a preferred way or this request doesn't follow the rules (I read them, but I always get anxious about requesting fics lol)
Can I ask for an Aventurine x reader where they both went out to a casino for a date night and they're coming back home just a bit buzzed? And they get home and just get in PJs (all while being goofy and sappy) and just fall asleep cuddling together?
a sweetly buzzed romance.
૮₍ ˃ ⤙ ˂ ₎ა • ! aventurine + reader reader is gender-neutral established relationship domestic fluff tooth-rotting fluff ☆ warning not proofread . . . !? & 625— catalogue
note. hi there, don't worry, your request did follow my rules hehe. i didn't really include them being buzzed so uh, i hope you forgive me on missing out on that :"). but i hope you enjoy^^
“Ugh, I’m so tired,” you grumbled under your breath, eyes barely open as you struggled to remove your shoes.
Seeing your drowsy state, Aventurine chuckled and lent a helping hand by getting to his knees to help you out. You leaned against the wall, covering your mouth as you yawned and the sight made his heart melt, for you resembled a tired cat. He placed your shoes neatly by the side, his following along before venturing further into your shared home. It was cute with how he was holding your hand; as if he couldn’t bear the thought of being separated from you for a mere second.
“Do you want to take a shower?” He asks softly, eyes flickering to your sleepy expression as he brings you to the bedroom.
“Not really, I just want to sleep right now,” you muttered, words borderline slurring. One would have thought you were drunk with how you were acting.
Humming in acknowledgment, Aventurine guides you to sit on the edge of the bed. He takes it upon himself to choose your pajamas. He ended up choosing a matching pair of silky-smooth brown pajamas which was also his personal favorite, due to how smooth the fabric was to the touch. The gambler sniggered when he saw you had dozed off while waiting for him, resulting in him gently shaking you by the shoulder to wake you up.
“Wake up, darling. You need to get changed,” he murmurs, his words eliciting a noise of protest from you as you reluctantly open your eyes.
“Help me,” you whined, raising your eyes and pouting at him. And who was he to say no to you?
“You’re such a spoiled person. Whatever should I do with you, hm?” He teased, helping you to change out of your clothes as he placed them on the bed beside you.
“But you love me,” you retorted, and a genuine smile appeared on your lover’s face.
“Yes, you’re right. I do love you.”
The sudden agreeing and pure sincerity in his voice made your heart stop beating for a moment. Aventurine laughed at how your ears flushed red, resulting in him getting a light-hearted kick to his knees. The bedroom was filled with laughter and your voices as both of you started goofing around, safe and hidden from any prying eyes. With you, Aventurine can be himself without having to put on a facade.
“Alright, I think that’s enough playing around. You need to brush your teeth before sleeping,” he said, easily carrying you in his arms, savoring the startled noise you made as you clung onto him for dear life, despite knowing he would never drop you.
The two of you stood side by side, in front of the mirror as you brushed your teeths. You couldn’t resist the urge to bump your hips against his, your laughter muffled with the toothpaste in your mouth. Aventurine playfully narrowed his eyes at you, his free hand shooting out to poke your side and you nearly choked on the toothpaste. It ended up with you two having a second round of play fighting and by the time you were done, you were exhausted to the core.
Being the gentleman he is, Aventurine carried you to the bed and tucked you in first before he followed. It was by pure instinct that you snuggled close to him, burying your face in his chest as he wrapped an arm around you, holding you close. He gently brushed his hand through your hair, the sound of his steady heartbeat and his action was enough to soon lure you to sleep.
“Sleep well, my beloved,” he whispers, pressing a loving kiss on your forehead before joining you, in the land of dreams.
#୨୧ magazine articles#honkai star rail#star rail imagines#star rail x reader#aventurine imagines#aventurine x reader#aventurine x y/n#aventurine x you
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Poll PAC: What Your Next Birthday Celebration Will Be Like 🎂🎉🎁
Sup y'all, welcome back to another PAC reading. This time I'm doing a special 1 year/birthday/poll topic of choice themed pick a card! This is also a special one as VitaminSee now has 300 followers! Holy crap thank you for your support everyone! I haven't been able to get on Tumblr for a while, so I apologize if it seems like I've dropped from the aether. Life is starting to enter its hectic phase right now! Thank you so much for your patience. I'm waiting for life things to straighten out (lol as if life ever does) before I go ahead and offer some basic paid readings, which I hope to do in May.
This topic is for the next birthday you have coming up, whether that's tomorrow or next year. For my selection, I was recently lucky to have found the Wild Wisdom Companion book among a vast pile of discounted books. It's based on the Wheel of the Year. I thought this deck was perfect for making piles themed around the progression of the year and how our birthdays respond to the passage of the seasons. Pick whichever one of the Spring themed card you like most down below:
Pile 1 - The Unfurling 🌱
Pile 2 - The Wind 🕊
Pile 3 - The Door 🗝
Pile 4 - The Alchemist 🍾
Pile 1 - The Unfurling
Sagittarius - Expand, Level Up, Shadow, Isolation; XVII Star, 3 of Cups, XXI World, Ace of Wands, 5 of Cups
Hello, pile 1! Your birthday is going to be the start of great expansion. Your first three oracle cards spell it out so clearly! Sagittarius is all about shooting for seemingly farfetched goals and striking the target anyway. There is so much growth going on in your pile. You're probably anticipating your next chapter to be one of reaching beyond the horizon and feeling ready to do so. Ideas or wishes that seemed impossible may be coming closer to being within your grasp. Your life is ready to take it up a notch immediately after your next birthday, where things may begin to feel like they're accelerating. Don't worry about the turbulence, it's all a part of the movement. Breaking out of your comfort zone may feel scary, but something about your next birthday will set off a chain of events that will propel you to a new phase of life.
I have a feeling that many who choose this pile will be in a transitory stage of life, like you're getting ready to start college or a new job around your birthday. It's not just another year older, this next one will be extra meaningful in terms of receiving something you've been longing for in quite some time. It's something you've been greatly eager to begin. I don't any sense that you'll be looking back too much once you go forward, since you'll be thrust rather quickly in your next chapter.
But it's still okay if you're experiencing anxiety over it, even if it's something you've really wanted. Anxiety, doubt, and fear are not necessarily indicators that something isn't right for you. It's normal to get cold feet in this context. A sprout breaking from its seed shell is no small feat; it requires a great amount of momentum and motivation. Congratulate yourself for having come this far. Let your birthday be a chance to celebrate this. Give yourself the opportunity to commemorate with friends, if they wanna help give you a birthday to remember then let them. They may feel the vibe as much as you will on that day. Don't be afraid to take that day trip out to a new place you've never seen.
What's interesting about the Isolation card is that it shows two cups. There is meanwhile a Friendship card in this deck with only one cup. So I don't know if the words were swapped with the images or what, but the sense I get is that you will very likely be in good company during your birthday. They may want to take you out dancing (the Ace of Wands is reminding me of disco lights). However, even in the midst of the event, you may feel the urge to hide away from the crowd. I'm picturing someone stepping out of a house during a party. You may need to catch your breath at times in order to process the emotions you're experiencing, as you have a lot of energetic, lit up cards just before the five of cups.
Again, getting in dark negative moods is normal when you're facing a big new stage is not indicative that things will go wrong if it's something you know you're looking forward to. If you end up spending most of the day with friends, find some space to be at peace by yourself so you can even out your feelings. These intense moods will come and go on their own, so make sure to stay balanced (and not too overly caffeinated lol) on your birthday.
Pile 2 - The Wind 🕊
Third House - Communication, A New Day, Ball Pits, Family; 10 of Swords, 5 of Cups, III Empress, Knight of Pentacles, 4 of Cups
How's it going pile 2? I couldn't help but notice you have two pairs of swallows in your reading. Birds may have some significance for you, maybe you'll go birdwatching or even get a pet bird. For a small number of you, the birthday could involve a plane flight out of home for a quick trip. Could you be visiting family members? There's a lot of communication going on, for sure. Even if you're not traveling out by flight, you may have family members show up to take you out somewhere. They may be insistent on seeing you, talking to you, and spending time with you. The phone might blow up first thing in the morning with notifications and voicemail.
But I'm seeing a lot of hesitance in your tarot cards. You may be feeling tired or burned out and not necessarily in the mood to celebrate. The previous year was a doozy for you so perhaps catching up on sleep is more of your priority. Ever get the feeling of wanting to sleep because life is overwhelmed and you're like, "I give up (for now)?" and call it a day? You need to give yourself a chance to recuperate around your birthday, before during and after. Have a break so you can fully recover and receive all that the coming year has to offer you.
That means letting loved ones in your life, be they bio family or chosen family, understand that you'd rather have a small get together or a chance to rest every now and then if you're invited out somewhere. If you choose to go out, there's nothing wrong with taking it slow and easy, or doing something casual like grabbing some ice cream and sitting by the riverside to ponder the next year. Communicate your feelings instead of bottling them up in an attempt to keep up with everybody else. Don't let anyone convince you of how you should celebrate, it's your day your rules!
Others of you who have a little more energy, a little more of that "last year sucks, I need to go out and do something fun to sweat it off!", I feel like the ball is emphasized here with Knight of Pentacles beneath Ball Pits. Some of you looking for more action and noise may choose to go to a ball game, or spend time at the arcade playing pinball with friends. It could even be mini golf. Whether you are the low energy (calm) or high energy (excited) seeking type, getting the chance to have some fun is important, as long as it feels right for you.
This is the pile most likely to get some kind of surprise, be that a party (high energy) or a surprise gift (low energy). There will be a sense of being pampered. Some of you may get a larger number of gifts than you may have expected. You may receive a very beautiful gift, something you may treasure for a long time. Whatever it may be, allow yourself to thoroughly enjoy it and express that joy. Let yourself embrace gratitude, being mindful of what you have now regardless of how your last year has been and how your next year will be. For your next birthday, try to focus on the present (in both meanings).
Pile 3 - The Door 🗝
South Node - Past, Let Your Light Shine, Bubble Gum, Winter; Ace of Cups, 9 of Swords, 3 of Pentacles, XIX Sun, Page of Wands
Hey pile 3! For your next birthday, I'm definitely seeing you go outside to celebrate. There may be an actual party held outdoors, or you might choose to go out somewhere. I'm seeing parks, possibly national parks or natural trails. I'm getting the feeling of warm sunshine, the weather will likely cooperate perfectly on your day. You could be cruising through town, going from store to store (the 3 of pentacles reminds me of a mall here). Your birthday feels expansive and adventurous, ready for something new.
A small number of you may wish to engage a little bit in the spotlight, or you may be placed into a position of receiving more attention on this day. If you wish to, your birthday would be a great day to showcase your talents or passions, since I'm picking up a bit of Leo energy in this pile. With lips in Bubble Gum, you could be giving a speech? I'm picturing an actual toast, if you feel the strong urge to speak out then do so, let yourself be heard. I'm also seeing people sing for you at restaurants, so if that isn't your style, it's best to find a place to eat that doesn't do that sort of thing.
This birthday could be like your own version of a New Year's Eve celebration. Some of you may actually be born in the winter or around New Year's, so holidays and birthdays could tie in together. You're wanting your birthday to stand out amidst the traditional festivities (I've known many people born around Christmas who hate having their birthday gifts thrown under the tree, so you're not alone in that frustration!). You may get the idea of doing something out of the ordinary. Let yourself take the spotlight--it's your special occasion!
There's a message in your pile of letting old things go as you step into a new age. Old things from the year prior may still be sticking onto you, old issues from unresolved matters may pop up. They could be on the more practical side, like needing to sign something or finish a task on time. Be ready to step into the future unafraid--now is the time to shed the baggage. Your birthday can be the fresh start to a bright new trip around the sun, but you gotta give yourself that chance. If something needs to be resolved, and you got the time, tie up your loose ends beforehand so it's not weighing on you as you celebrate.
Your birthday is a threshold to an exciting new time for you. It may be like a breath of fresh air. I keep hearing "refreshed" and "invigorated", so this may be how you feel at the end of your birthday. You may do something that makes you think, "huh, why don't I do this more often?" That could be the key for you to step into something brand new. Will spending time with your friends refresh you, or going to a concert and discovering a new band that you will fall in love with as it warms up the show? Or may you desire to spend more time out in nature? Lean into what lights you up, listen to what engages you, and move from there.
Pile 4 - The Alchemist 🍾
Imum Coeli - Roots, Snow Day, Forest, Transformation; 3 of Cups, 6 of Cups, Ace of Swords, XII Hanged Man, 8 of Swords
What's up, pile 4? Your birthday is looking to be the absolute warmest and coziest out of all the piles. Many of you may identify strongly with introversion. I'm sensing a lot of you have your birthday around autumn or the cooler times of the year when most people are ready to bundle up in blankets or sit by the wood stove while awaiting the first signs of frost. Many of you may get a lucky chance to stay at home instead of needing to work or go to school, so you'll have the day off to plan out what you want to do. Others of you may desire to take time off if you have the chance to, I would go for it especially if you've been feeling the need to rest. You may live near trees or desire to be out in nature as a way to kick back.
I'm seeing someone invite a few friends over to watch old reruns of favorite shows while baking. It could be a gathering of closest friends, I'm not getting the sense that it'll be a big to-do bash. This day will be short, sweet, and simple. It's a good day for doing hobbies or spending time indulging in the gifts you were given. Some of you may rather spend time with family or those you live with instead of inviting people over. You and your family may share a special way of celebrating birthdays, I don't know of any birthday specific cultural traditions from the top of my head but you may have special rituals unique to you and your family. Either way, I get that you'll have a modest celebration that's nevertheless full of camaraderie and relaxing activities.
The description for the Alchemist card says "Allow Transformation", and you have another Transformation card. You may be doing a lot of transmuting on the inside, working through old stubborn patterns and limiting beliefs around this time. I'm seeing the ball of flame near the snow as if you're melting old self-sabotaging blockages away to make room for more growth in your coming year. This flame, this transmuting energy, is making way for the new to arrive.
The Hanged Man being tangled up in vines beneath a forest makes me think that you've been hung up on something that needs to be let go. You must prune in order to effectively grow. Too much in a small space can lead to cramming and confusion. You must deal with the thoughts tangling themselves up in your mind before cultivating the thoughts you want in their place. Changes may happen slowly on the outside, but when certain patterns are fully cleared out things can really take off.
So, for example, let's say you've wanted to sign up for a ceramics workshop for your birthday, or spend the day cleaning house (if you happen to find cleaning therapeutic). To do so, you'll need to not only free up your schedule, but free your mind of thoughts trying to convince you that you can't learn or can't clean. Perhaps it's difficult to not see the forest as just a bundle of trees. But a forest is more than trees, it's an entire system that supports itself in a perpetual cycle. Don't fill up your days with too many tasks, especially on your birthday. Pace the day with both the things you want to do and the things you have to do. The time around birthday will show you how to integrate the best of both worlds. We can have cake and eat it too, it's just a matter of pacing and doing things one at a time.
This reading has not been evaluated by the FDA to diagnose, prevent, treat, or cure any disease or infection. Please ask your physician before going online.
2024, @VitaminseeTarot ™
#vitaminsee#vitaminseetarot#tarot blog#tarot community#tarot reading#free tarot#tarotblr#tarot#pac#pi#pick a card#pick a card reading#pick a picture#pick a pile#pick a pile reading#pick an image#pick a photo#tar#tarot cards#tarot reader#tarotcommunity#tarotonline#orac#oracle reading#oracle cards#oracle deck#psy#psychic readings#div#divination
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lol am I allowed to ask for yan!fwb? or have you already done that? like darling isn't looking for something serious, just casual, but yan!fwb is already planning their marriage when they get darling inside their sheets
(yandere! fwb x gn! reader) (silly😜) (dom reader)
"can we just fuck why do we have to go out for dinner?"
"because... because it's for the plot?"
you stare at the male, deadpanning at him as you roll your eyes at his stupid answer. what plot? you two were just friends with benefits, why'd he need to bring you out to some fancy ass restaurant to eat?
and he even made you dress up?? what the hell?
don't friends with benefits just fuck and get it over with? that's the whole point isn't it? why's he treating you like you're his lover?
"dude this feels like a date."
"i- it's not!"
the male stutters, cheeks pink as he nervously offers his hand to you to escort you into the restaurant. you stare at it before slapping the hand away and walking in. geez, did he seriously think you were about to act like his lover? no way!
the male pouts, cheeks flushed as he quietly trails behind you like a little puppy. aw... his hand really felt lonely and he thought yours might be too ☹️ no matter, you'll be fucking him tonight anyways...
"ahem-"
the male clears his throat as he anxiously fiddles with his phone, walking up to the main desk. you watch in slight amusement as the receptionist and waiters immediately gush over him, carefully bringing the two of you to what seemed like a private room? woah, you knew he was rich but you didn't know it was like this rich.
"a-ah... you can order anything you want... I'll pay."
"thanks."
you mumble boredly, flipping through the expensive menu that you'd never have touched if it weren't for him. dawg maybe you'd let him dominate you for once... as a way of saying thanks.
...
nah. actually you think he'll break down in tears if you told him to dominate you. he's such a crybaby.
"hey-"
"yes my love?!"
the male exclaims, hearts in his eyes as you stare at him with the most disgusted look you can conjure. ugh, he's always like this! treating yoh like his lover, calling you petnames... is he delusional or what?
"firstly, don't call me that. secondly, what do you recommend?"
"o-oh... hm, i recommend the A5 wagyu and the caviar-"
you blink in confusion, brain not processing any of his words. god damnit, why was rich people food so confusing?! all these fancy names for a tiny plate of food?!
"you know what, forget it."
you mumble as you slam the menu shut. the male jumps slightly, whimpering as his lower lip pouts. aw, it's times like this where you can't help but think he's so freaking cute.
"ah... I'm sorry darling! w-we can go to another restaurant instead... oh i knew this place wouldn't be to your tastes and i-"
"i want you instead."
you cock your head at him, grinning as you make your way towards the flustered male. you drink in his delightful expressions, humming happily as your friend with benefits turns into a cute puddle of blabbering words.
yes...
you never were that hungry for food anyway.
and he would fulfill your hunger much more easily.
"hehe, you really are the cutest, aren't you?"
"oh darling!"
ah. guess it really is time to devour him. in more ways than one.
#yandere#tw yandere#yandere x reader#yandere drabbles#yandere concept#yandere scenarios#yandere imagines#yandere fwb#yamdere fwb x reader#gn reader#suiana rambling#suiana brainrotting
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The Art of Etiquette Part 9 | Jeon Jungkook
Summary: Your call with Jesse is dramatic on his part to say the least but looks like there's a new guy in town and he's got his sights set on you.
Pairing: f!reader x Etiquette instructor Jungkook
Word Count: 2.2k~
Warnings: Explicit and suggestive language but barely lmao
a/n: Sorry this one is a little shorter guys but I figured this was a good stopping point so I hope you enjoy it 🥰
p.s. barely edited as always lol
Start from the beginning
"Hello?" I say, my voice ridden with exhaustion since I was woken up out of a sound sleep from my phone ringing on full blast.
"Hello? That's all you have to say to me? Girl I've been texting you since last night and you never responded" Jesse scolds through the phone and when I look at my messages I have over 50 from him alone.
"I'm sorry Jess I was busy with Jungkook all day yesterday and I just ended up taking a shower and going to sleep. I guess I forgot to tell you how it went" I apologize, rubbing the sleep from my eye. "Tell me everything I don't care if you're all over the place I just need to live vicariously though you" he says, his excitement palpable even though the phone.
"Well we went to the modiste and found my dress an-" "No no I don't care about the boring stuff. Tell me about what happened between you and Jungkook. Did you guys share glances? Did he touch you? Did he hold your hand? You know the juicy stuff. Well, I guess as juicy as you could get with an etiquette teacher" he spouts off, trying to keep me on track.
"I thought you said you wanted to live vicariously through me? So I was taking you through my day step by step" I say, smiling at his impatience. "I meant the good stuff" he groans and I laugh at his playful frustration before having mercy on him and telling him everything.
"I found out that we like the same music and like similar foods and that he really is a nice guy. Under all of that commanding and strict nature he truly is a great guy" I admit, morning thoughts now full of him giving me a fuzzy feeling in my chest.
"You're falling for him aren't you?" Jesse asks, amused once he hears how I've changed my toon so quickly from one day to the next. "I wouldn't say I'm falling for him but there are some, stirrings" I say, confused and still half asleep, not being able to fully express my emotions properly.
"Stirrings?" Jesse laughs, knowing what I'm meaning to say without actually having to say it but still pushing me to say more "Yes stirrings and let's leave it at that for now" I say, sitting up and stretching before getting out of bed.
"Whatever you say" he sings leaving me rolling my eyes as walk to the bathroom and start to pull out the various things I need to get ready. "He also kinda sorta kissed me" I mumble and immediately pull my phone away from my ear, knowing how loud he's going to get about me hiding this from him for so long.
"HE KISSED YOU? LIKE FOR REAL THIS TIME?" he asks, repeating his reaction from last time but needing to clarify right away since things have been interesting between us to say the least.
"Well it wasn't full on but it was more than last time" I smirk, knowing that Jesse's way more excited about this than I am. "What's that supposed to mean" he asks quickly, dying to know since this is probably the most important piece of the puzzle he had been waiting for.
"Well I walked him out to his car after he dropped me off to say goodbye, and well he..." "Y/n I swear if you don't just spit it out I'm going to come over there and strangle it out of you" he growls and I laugh, always loving the feeling of torturing him.
"Alright alright. So when I walked him out he said goodnight to me but when he said it, he said it against my lips. Like he brushed his lips against mine and just left me there and drove off like nothing happened" I say and the silence on the other side of the phone worries me.
"Jesse?" I ask and then I hear what sounds like him punching his pillow or something. "Jesse are you alright?" I laugh and soon he takes in a deep breath and yell out "HOW DOES IT FEEL TO BE LIVING MY DREAM?!?!?!" and I bust out laughing while he scolds me on the other end of the phone.
"What are you doing?!?!?! You're literally wasting precious time that you could be using to let him fuck your brains out all because he just likes playing games with you. He wants you so bad so just go for it! If not for your own sake then for mine" he whines and I just continue to laugh, trying not to take him seriously because if I do I don't know if I'll be able to act like I don't want him too.
"When's the ball?" Jesse asks after I had been tuning him out for a second or two. "Next Saturday" I answer and he hums, thinking about if he can squeeze me in for something or other. "Why?" I ask, his silence peaking my interest.
"Well I wanted to see if you'd let me come and help you get ready for the ball? You know, hair, makeup, nails the whole nine yards" he says and I groan thinking about all of that stuff thrown together in one day.
"My guess is that my mom is gonna either have someone come over to get me ready or that she'll send me to some sort of shop. If you want you could come with? Maybe get a manicure to while we're at it?" I offer and I can just tell how excited he is about it already.
"Yes yes a thousand times yes! I swear every time I've asked you to do anything that is remotely girly you've always said no so there's no way I'm passing up on this one!" he says and I can't help but smile. "Well I'm glad that I'll have someone by my side to help me endure this torture" I groan and he brushes me off, my claims sounding absolutely ridiculous to him.
"Anyways I've gotta get ready for class so I'll see you then alright?" I say, checking the clock, thankfully seeing that I have more than enough time to do so. "Alright well hurry up so we can grab some coffee or something beforehand because I'm exhausted" I scoff at his words, since he was the one that woke me up two hours before my alarm was supposed to go off.
"Why the hell would you be tired? You're the one that woke me up!" and he scoffs right back at me. "I was getting impatient alright! And rightfully so! How could you not tell me he kissed you?" he whines and I know this is my cue to wrap up the call.
"He didn't kiss me alright. If he does you'll be the first to know, I promise. Unless someone sees of course" I say and he sighs dramatically, impatient with how slowly this whole thing is playing out.
"Yeah yeah whatever, I'll see you soon. Should I just grab you something and meet you at our table?" he asks and I hum before responding. "Please and thank you" I say, dragging out the last word and soon end the call.
Classes go off without a hitch with Jesse bugging me every other second about Jungkook so I guess it was a pretty normal day to say the least. "Tell me if anything happens at your lessons today alright? No more late updates! I'm honestly still mad at you" he groans before picking up his stuff to go.
"Yeah yeah whatever. See you later loser" I say, rolling my eyes and he rolls his right back at me even more dramatically. "Bye bitch" he says over his shoulder, giving me one last wave before walking to his last class while I make my way to mine.
Walking into class I'm greeted by the murmurings of almost all the girls in class all aimed at one guy in particular that I'd never seen before. Granted I don't really pay attention to anyone in this class besides the professor anyways but seeing that there's a big enough reaction, my interest can't help but be peaked.
As I make my way over to my usual spot in the lecture hall I begin to notice that he's sat right across the aisle from me.
I try to keep to myself and quietly go to my seat and pray he doesn't notice me because the last thing I need is a some guy trying to distract me in class.
Don't get me wrong I'm not saying that I don't like helping people but, no actually I guess I really don't like helping people now that I think about it. That's besides the point though. All I need to worry about is getting through this lecture and getting out of here so I can make it to my lessons on time with Jungkook.
As the professor finally makes his way into the classroom and starts to set up I hear someone trying to get my attention.
"Psst" I hear and know exactly who it is, making me cringe but deciding to acknowledge him nonetheless. I look up at him and realize why those girls had been whispering about him since he, putting it as plainly as I can, is a very attractive human being.
"What?" I respond and he grants me a smile that would make any other girl swoon, I however am not that girl.
"Do you have a pencil I could borrow?" he asks, giving me the lamest excuse in the book to get a girl's attention. I summon all the strength I have in my body to resist rolling my eyes and decide to just reach into my bag and grab him one, hoping to be done with this conversation as soon as possible so I can focus on the lecture.
I hand him the pencil and feel him purposefully brush his hand against mine and I pull my hand back, making him drop it and gaining the attention of the professor.
"Is there a problem Mr. Foster?" the professor says to the freeloader next to me. "No sir, no problem at all" he says smoothly, trying to charm is way out of the scolding. "See that there isn't" the professor says, raising an eyebrow at him while the boy apologizes making the lecture resume after that.
~~~~
"Hey" the guy calls out after me as I make my way out of the classroom. I stop and look at him, only planning on giving him seconds to say his piece before leaving, knowing that I'll get an earful from Jungkook if I'm late again. I raise a brow at him as he smiles down at me and doesn't make moves to say anything first.
"Can I help you?" I say, finally breaking the ice and wanting to get to the point. "Actually you already did. I just wanted to give you your pencil back" he says holding it out to me with a bright smile. "Keep it" I say and turn my back to go and unfortunately he follow after me.
"What's your name?" he asks after squeezing through the students in the halls so he can walk next to me. "None of your business" I grumble and try to walk faster but he follows all the same.
"That's a curious name" he chuckles, refusing to take the hint to the fact that I don't want to talk to him. "Can't you just leave me alone?" I question, stopping in my tracks, trying my hand at this method rather than just trying to outrun him which seems futile at this point based off of how long his legs are compared to mine.
"I just wanted to thank my savior since I would've fallen even further behind in class if I wasn't able to take any notes today" he says and I cross my arms, knowing for a fact that half the time he was just looking at me since I could feel his eyes on me every time he looked my way.
"The best way to thank me is to leave me alone. I've got things to do and I don't have time to waste on you Foster" I say, using his last name since that's all I know so far. "It's Daniel" he chuckles at my effort to push him off (figuratively of course, thankfully he has manners enough to maintain personal space).
"I prefer Foster" I say sarcastically and he laughs as if I've said the funniest thing in the world. "Foster it is then" he agrees and I groan, walking off to my car and luckily this time he doesn't follow me, watching me from where we had been standing until I'm out of his sight.
'Just when I thought my day was going well I've some how created a tail. Why me? Why not all the other girls in class that were obviously fawning all over him?' I shake my head and open my car door, slumping down into it and take a deep breath before putting on my seatbelt and putting my keys in the ignition.
Hopefully I'll be able to get rid of this sour mood by the time I see Jungkook because otherwise our lessons aren't gonna be the prettiest today and we don't have time for anything but pretty. Time is running out and I need to remain focused if I want to do this and do it right.
I want to leave a good impression on everyone for James' sake, but more than anything I want to make Jungkook proud of me...
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Spring Cleaning
I believe that Steve's mom was a bit of a control freak. I mean, she went on business trips with her own husband to make sure she wasn't cheating on him. so she clearly likes to have her own rules in her house.
i mean she went on a trip with her husband to make sure he didn't do anything sus. So I feel like she would also be this clean freak, every spring, she would tell Steve to clean his entire bedroom and get rid of the things she didn't need. After a while, this became a bit of a habit for Steve, so, when spring arrived and the sun started shining once again, he would clean his entire room and re-organize everything.
Later, when he is about to move in with Eddie, he realizes his room is a complete disaster. So he went full on mom mode. He summoned the entire party, put on an apron that said “Mom’s kitchen!” and bought a bunch of cleaning products (most of them he knew for cleaning after a party). At first Eddie thought Steve was messing with him, but when he showed up with the kids and the offer for them to clean his room, he was left with no choice but to say yes. And so they got to work.
First they took off all of the posters, in which Eddie was very whiny about, saying that if they broke them or even wrinkle them, he was going to sue. Then went to the closet, in which Steve, Robin and Nancy took care of. Lucas took the records and boxes of music outside to organize them next to Max, who was just sunbathing. Will, Dustin and Erica took care of the books that were everywhere. Like… Everywhere.
“Why would you leave a book in the oven?” Dustin exclaimed as he took the collection of Sunglasses After Dark books
“Cuz i had no place to leave them” he shrugged as he turned around and kept trying to keep calm at everyone touching his stuff
Mike and Eleven were in charge of collecting the plates, empty beer cans, and food which were laying around. Finally, Argyle and Jonathan were in charge of organizing what was for donations, trash, and to keep. BUT, Argyle was lucky enough to find some edibles and weed treats and they both ended up high as hell on the couch watching looney toons. They weren’t much help at the end of the day, but at least they didn’t stand in everyone’s way. After organizing the clothes from the category, they sat and tried to see which ones were appropriate to keep, which were clean, and which were… actually clothes.
“Oh I missed this shirt!” Eddie took it from robin and raised it to see the cover of a weird ass band album cover.
“Mama’s boy? Really?” steve raised a eyebrow at his boyfriend
“Hell yeah! in 1985, they opened for Joan Jett and The Blackhearts, it was a hell of a night. I got the cassette too! Hold on” he ran outside to find lucas and max laughing
“Red, Lucas, Mama’s Boy, Power and Passion”
“Let me- god where did I leave the M…”
“Third box, right after Malice” Max said nonchalantly, leaving both boys astounded and she just smiles “just because im blind doesn't mean i can’t see anything”
Lucas took the cassette and handed it to eddie who was quickly inside and went to the trailer and placed the cassette in the player and connected it with the speakers, and pressed play, and the music started ( lol this is the link of the album, since its not in spotify, it should tho, their music is great tho)
“Wait…” Robin called as everyone turned to her “Why do you have like… four of their shirts?”
“Well…” eddie bit his lip and looked away trying to come up with an excuse… but at this point, he had no option but to tell the truth “I MAY have… slept with the drummer, and i might have stolen them”
“You what now?” steve smiled a little confused
“It was like, 3 years ago Stevie, don’t worry, he probably doesn't remember.” he reassured
“You slept with a drummer from a famous band?”
“Well i have fucked more famoust people, Tommy McManus is a particle compered to what i have gone through” he shows off but when he turns to his boyfriend with an un amused face
“Who then?
Eddie started laughing nervously, looking around for help, but robin and nancy were trying not to laugh while Dustin and Erica were clearly enjoying this.
“Joey Tempest… from Europe…”
“You fucked a Eurpoean?”
“ i mean, he is from sweden, and his in the band called Europe, but yeah”
“Do they sing a song we may know?”
Eddie’s cheek turned bright red as Steve looked at him with such an intimidating stare, it was too pretty for Eddie to say no to.
“You know… It the final countdown, tanana, tananana, tanana, tanananananana aaa” eddie sang in a low voice, pretty embarrassed of the situation he’s in
“Oh my god” Steve rolled his eyes and groaned
“You slept with carol perkins while she was dating tommy!”
“Don’t you dare play the carol card on me right now!”
After a long discussion over each other's sex lives, they got back to cleaning and organizing, till the sun was setting. They all ended up on the couch, in front of the tv, discussing which movie to watch. Their options were Howard the Duck, Mary Poppins, and Lawrence of Arabia, in which they chose Mary poppins. Steve ordered a pizza for everyone, and when Wayne came back, he could help but to join the kids watching the childish movie. They eat everylast pizza piece, and they all fall asleep on the couch munched together, and it was too cute not to take a picture, so wayne grabbed Eddie’s polaroid, snapped them a picture, which ended up the first frame that was hanged in the Munson - Harrington flat.
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anyways. enough spitballing
i was so right abt fun parent tai
YANG: Do you… wonder why he’s not here? With everybody else? I know Qrow said he’s on assignment, but what’s more important than here?
RUBY: Maybe we don’t have the full picture.
YANG: I don’t know. Some things you just need to be there for.
first. there are two possibilities: if qrow knows what this “assignment” is, he hasn’t filled in his nieces and the old guard backslid HARD after team rwby fell—the exclusion of ren and nora from the secret meeting in B1 also points in that direction, so it feels quite plausible; on the other hand, if raven knows where tai is and what he’s doing, it seems strange that ruby and yang would not also know, unless the girls haven’t asked her about summer at all (in which case i’d believe that they’re just not really on speaking terms).
like if raven had a conversation with ruby about summer, i can’t see her hiding ‘the full picture’ with regard to tai if she knew about it, even if qrow wanted her to. maiden of knowledge, begrudging oz his secrets, and all.
on the other hand. if the girls know everything qrow does, that would imply that tai’s “assignment” is either an ozpin secret (and oz hasn’t been keeping his promise to be honest, which feels incongruous with him actively fighting his curse now) or a taiyang secret, in which case i am one hundred percent sure it isn’t to do with the crown of choice.
“maybe we don’t have the full picture,” says ruby, thinking about what the blacksmith showed her and what the blacksmith said. that’s the big lesson she learned in the tree, not to jump to conclusions on incomplete information. so that narratively links tai’s mysterious “assignment” to summer’s mysterious “last mission,” which was a “summer secret.” if tai stayed behind in vale to deal with a taiyang secret that not even oz knows about… it’s summer. lol. it can only be summer. if it were the crown, oz would know because ozpin would have given him that assignment in the first place; if it were defending people hiding in mountain glenn, there’s no reason for it to be secret.
but if he knows summer is alive and well and with salem, and he’s trying to, i don’t know, turn her against salem (or ‘save’ her)… well. maybe we don’t have the full picture indeed.
second. oouuugh the weight of what yang doesn’t say. back in v4 she forced herself to put on the prosthetic before she was ready and white-knuckled her way back to functional so she could go find ruby because her dad said he hadn’t gone after ruby because he had “some stuff to look after” at home, and yang thought he meant her; that the only reason he wasn’t out there with ruby was because he had to be here with her.
so she removed herself from the situation—left to find ruby herself—and tai… stayed at home. it’s been months, now. atlas fell and everyone is regrouping in vacuo, trying to prepare for an attack they know will come sooner or later, except tai, who is “on assignment.” what’s more important than here? what’s more important than being here with both his daughters, at the end of the world? if qrow knows, what’s so important that he has to keep them in the dark? if qrow doesn’t know, then it can’t reasonably be to do with the relic at beacon—which is the only thing that could arguably be more important than joining the vacuo coalition.
“some things you just need to be there for,” says yang. my dad just kind of… shut down. and then dad was always busy with school and ruby couldn’t even talk yet; i had to pick up the pieces. i had to keep things together, alone. ruby starts to reminisce about coming to this place with tai when they were kids, and it’s a fond memory for yang too…but one undercut with all of this. the outings were fun—they slowly increased from once a month treats to twice-a-week because ruby got so excited—(ruby is over the moon when she sees the boba shop; yang spends half the walk there second-guessing herself and downplaying the surprise; both reactions speak to their experiences of these outings in childhood)—and why isn’t he here now? why is it, once again, yang trying to pick up the pieces alone while he’s busy with something else more important?—and this time it isn’t even that he’s going to work to put food on the table and make sure bills get paid, he’s just “on assignment” doing… something. that qrow either won’t tell or doesn’t know.
and that feeling is what incites her to talk to ruby about her own failings, and the first thing she says is i don’t need an explanation, because she doesn’t want to make ruby’s crisis about herself but also because she’s about to apologize for not being attentive enough or present enough or aware enough to Be There when ruby needed her.
which is not untrue (surprise! parentified children don’t make good parents for their two-years-younger siblings!) but also. back in v5 when she confronted raven, yang compared herself to raven (you’ll give me the relic and run because you’re afraid of salem; i’m afraid of salem too but i’ll be here waiting for her when she comes after me).
and that’s what yang is doing here with tai (he was physically there and provided for their needs and took them on fun outings sure, but he wasn’t there, when yang looks back on her childhood what she remembers is a sense of overwhelming responsibility and isolation because her dad wasn’t present, and now he’s not even here; she let ruby down in a similar way, being around without really seeing what ruby was going through, but she sees now how she failed and knows what she needs to do to make up for it and she will, she promises, she already is.)
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Replies
You know the drill!
Anonymous asked:
Malleus is soooo cute and he's being such a little shit about it 😭❤️
He knows he is the cutest, that’s for sure >:3
Anonymous asked:
Oh your LiliMal 💚💚💚 I love it so much!
I just really have this thing on my mind that young Malleus has a crush on our dear cool General Lilia. I mean who wouldn't? fufufu
Thank you so much, Anon!
I agree, Malleus and Lilia have a very complicated relationship, but one thing about it is certain: Lilia has always been the most special person in Malleus’ life <3 for better or worse lol So he was absolutely crushing hard on him back then.
Anonymous asked:
YOU
*points accusing finger at you*
I see the purple and green paint mixing in that pallet, sneaky bastard(/j)
*this is refering to the greenviolet art*
Ahh I’ve been found! Exposed!
It’s all Violet’s fault, he is the one mixing these! And he absolutely doesn’t need whatever colour he ends up with, I don’t think it works very well lol But it’s the process that counts…
artfulhero-m asked:
Also completely random but you know how Malleus has the ability to teleport yeah? Do you think he has the ability to choose to teleport out of his clothes or do you think the clothes have to stay on during teleportation? The thought of that man just forgetting to teleport with his clothes on and actually managing to catch a housewarden meeting, albeit naked, is a really funny thought to me. Then again, he doesn't strike me as the kind of guy to do that at all, but it's still a funny thought in my opinion lol.
(this is the second part of the ask from yesterday)
I’ve never thought about it, but you know, accidentally teleporting out of your own clothes does sound like a fun concept lol Maybe this is one of the first things you learn when you master teleportation: how to keep your clothing belongings intact, and then how to teleport other objects or people without directly touching them. Malleus really isn’t very likely to make that amateur mistake, he is very powerful and skilled.
But for the sake of the funny scenario… he would be so confused about what’s going on, and the rest of housewardens would be so shocked that they probably wouldn’t say anything. I’m betting Kalim will be the first one to make a sound lol
Poor Malleus, he would be very upset and embarrassed after that. Which is horrible for every single NRC student; we don’t want to have Malleus in a bad mood… the housewardens would silently swear to never speak about it again. But the memory would haunt them forever…
Anonymous asked:
I saw your RookLeo reply, and I was like 👀 But honestly I think maybe it happened exactly ONCE because Leona thought that giving in just once will stop Rook's... obsessive behaviors, but little did he know 🤣
Sounds like a typical thing Leona tells himself to cope; like yeah sure it was a plan that just didn’t work and somehow even backfired lol
But to be fair, there is no way this plan would’ve worked in the first place, so…
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hii it's been awhile since i've given any updates about what's going on with me but!!! i think we're moving back to oregon at some point. and i'm gonna make grad school happen. i'm so yhappy
#i'm going to oregon sometime this quarter but it's gonna break my heart because i have to leave again#idk the col is so much higher there than here. you can buy a whole three bedroom house for $200k here#a 3 bed in oregon is at least twice that#and rent is insane. $1100 for a beautiful 3 bed here. or twice that for something less nice in oregon#well. not HERE here jesus the suburbs are expensive. but in central pa where we're thinking of moving#which is like.... the best place to retire in the country? what's with that. low col probably LOL#and lately i've been feeling so..... lost? the ego death i went through in 2023 was incredible#and like. do i NEED to go to grad school to get a well-paying job in my field? no i have almost 7 yoe#but i'm missing feeling good at something. and the networking. and the portfolio work i can do. so it wouldn't be about employablility#though that helps. idk i'm gonna try to get my undergrad loans paid off as much as i can (only 30k left on the ones in my name 🫠) this year#while working on freelance projects and all that. it just feels good having a direction that doesn't feel completely hopeless#because it's been so bleak lately. like. got laid off from an agency i poured my soul into (not doing that again unless it's my own)#experienced something deeply personal and destabilizing i don't feel comfortable sharing#moved across the country while i didn't have a job and was processing that trauma to a place where i know no one#i got so lonely and so alone that i thought i would die. i didn't really have anyone to turn to while i did the work of reliving#started drinking a lot to cope bc i didn't have a medical card. was truly miserable. got a medical card. wasn't miserable anymore#and now i'm working and less anxious and feeling supported and stable in my relationship. and i feel myself coming back to myself.#it's been so hard but i'm so glad to be seeing the end of it. and to see good things and happy things in that
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They’re calling my baby Gojo, Joseph Joestar now
#rambling#the diff is that Gojo did apologize after being called out and face to face with his racism whilst Joseph literally befriended nazi’s 😵💫#and there was never any explanation from araki as to why he’d even wrote German soldiers in the shit in the first place like that was#absolutely jarring as hell to read for the very first time back when I’d gotten into jjba#well I watched it first but you know#like Joseph really thought fondly of Stroheim as this stand up guy even though he’s first of all#a Nazi#and second#the first scene that we were introduced to was of him sexually harassing a Woman#it’s……. 🗿#still to this day I wonder if araki had ever addressed this because lord#Joseph was just happy to get the help I guess but that felt so ooc for him from what he’d seen 🗣️#happily receiving the help of a Nazi and calling them a nice guy ahhh Joseph-#Gojo would never sjjsaj#my boo boo is a little prejudice but he’s working on it 🗣️#I still think that gege was trying to have a ‘racism is bad’ moment but again#the execution was pretty awkward and it felt out of place considering what had been currently going down in the manga#like the Racism was pretty random but it was swiftly put to a stop which I can appreciate even if it shouldn’t have been a point of#conversation to begin with since why couldn’t Miguel just exist as a character instead of him being the now token negro#who everyone sees as instantly more frighteningly powerful than everyone else like this didn’t even need to be brought up wllssldk#idk gege was trying to be ‘woke’ 😭. sorry nbs and wp ruined the term for me but like basically lol#gojo’s pretty intelligent and extremely gifted but he’s never been perfect lol#it’s just that idk why gege chose to talk about antiblackness in Japan out of nowhere about the only black character on screen hehhhhhh#like gege tried but lmfao#this is so funny to me#at least it didn’t drag on putting Miguel in an even more awkward situation than he already was and it was nipped in the bud quickly#Gojo isn’t one to dwell on things but when he’s face with new information and is taught something he does try to reflect and do better and#I’m sure he probably started to become even more aware of what he’s saying especially when talking to Miguel in an honest way since that’s#always been the kind of character who he was despite the horrors#the only ppl who’ve been kinda annoying about this are nbs and white people as always 🗿
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bitching abt homophobia n shit at my job in the tags o7 happy pride
#so i voluenteer at a library n work there through a 3rd party job center over the summer. ive volunteered there for like 5 yrs so i know --#--the staff there p well#anyway yeah so like last year our pride display got taken down bc someone complained. our director didnt really contest this.#our pride display got taken down again. this time with the board threatening to cut funding if we put it back up.#no contesting yet again#its literally just the corner of a 3 sided display podium with some gay books or whatever#some guy comes in and tears up our lgbt author rec list. the director removes those as well#there r 2 bi clerks and one genderqueer clerk and me! the fag gopher and she still doesnt feel it pertinent 2 stick up for the ppl who--#work there#or maybe she does right? like i want to believe she does bc ive known her for 5 maybe 6 actually years. ive gone to christmas--#parties at her house. shes been someone i can count on before and yet here she is letting us all down#bc its not just me or the gay ppl who work there right its for the ppl in my shitty fucking southern town who have basic common decency#shes someone i thought was some kind of ally HAHAH...like that term feels lame but#.....yeah yknow?#she even said shed be moving picture books with gay parents and shit into a quote quote adult matters section into the juvenile section#i assume on request of the board bc obvs being trans or gay or whatever is of course an adult matter that will taint our beautiful little#tow headed bastards#we even had the guy who requested the pride display be taken down come in today and CHECK to make sure no faggy books were out#ive been very angry about it and i just need to ...spit it up somewhere. maybe a transformers blog isnt the best place for it but whatever.#sorry about my language lol.#shes my boss and its going to be a real issue for me bc she laughed saying id have to start cleaning bathrooms this year and i legitimately#--nearly had to leave the room. like haha really funny. glad you can laugh about shit. did you know im a fucking queer.
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I think (as much as I annoyingly complain and whine about not having a partner) being single this long has been good for me. I'm learning a lot about myself and I'm learning why I was a shit person, and through finding the root of the problem I can kind of... start to heal. I can be nicer to myself so I can grow and get better. Because TBH.. being mean and cruel to yourself doesn't make you become a better person. It just makes you believe that thats what you /are,/ and thats what you /always will be,/ as opposed to realizing that you are a product of your circumstances but that does not mean you can't get better and become a better person. Accepting help and trying to get better so you can eventually love yourself – even if no one else does – is the greatest and loveliest thing you can do for yourself. You deserve that love, you exist and you live and you feel and that is a truly beautiful gift.
#uhm well anyway I hope everyone finds people and a place where they feel safe and loved#I'm feeling really emotional sorryy#basically. tldr; found the problem! trying to get better now through loving myself instead of hating myself#its been really hard. its going to be really hard. I feel like ive barely made any progress#I wish I had a therapist to talk about this stuff with. but I dont.#btw the uh root problem: finding out my mother was actually hugely abusive & I already knew my dad was#so basically ive been having to confront the fact that Ive been living a lie and my mother is actually deeply terrible as much as my dad#and my parents should have never had children & ive never had one single decent adult in my life#so basically uhm yea lol. I was born into dysfunction. I was never going to turn oit normal or okay.#so its been hard to like. figure all that out alone. learning I have ptsd and extreme ocd + dissociation because of them hasnt been easy#its made me so deeply miserable because I guess I assumed what my mom was doing to us was normal this whole time?#because I thought no. surely not. surely i cant have TWO terrible parents. I need at least 1 good one right?#but yea no actually every adult has hurt me in some way. and I was never going to turn out alright because#I am the king of obsessing and cycling over everything in my life#Im like. not okay right now but not being im in danger just because I wish I had someone to talk to about all this.#I just need to learn to drive so I can get out of here. I need to get out like#all these realizations have been really really heavy on me and ive been having trouble sleeping#Its been hard to process and I dont really know where to go from here. I guess I cant properly heal and grow until I move out?#idk this has been really long im so sorry.#vent#tw vent#tws ->#abuse ment#parents ment#<- in tags
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I’m too busy rn to write a whole thing on my thoughts on this jjk chapter (now it’s officially translated and out) but it’ll be good to have more time to sit on it
#soooo busy but having real life be so hectic actually helps lol bc I’m not too sad or angry about the chapter#maybe I would’ve been a few years ago when I. cared more about media in general but school and life is too much to add that on top haha#saying this as if any chapter w yuuji focus won’t crush my heart completely :(#buuuuut thinking about the chapter rn#don’t like how we got to gojo dying. or how the time skip is placed. bc those questions have to get answered#but I would’ve preferred some to be sooner than later. or at least more time w gojos internal thoughts that aren’t fight related#I do love the actual airport state of death scene. those in between states are my FAVORITE in jjk#and imo nothing seems ooc I like how the scene can be interpreted in many ways#love that nanami gets to be so prominent too. it’s fitting#I don’t really care about gojo being ‘offscreened’ since the flashback was him dying#but yeah all my issues are things that I think could’ve been solved in previous chapters but this one in itself is fine#also how I view all this depends on where the story goes ofc but I’m just here for the ride#jjk spoilers#jjk 236#need to reiterate this but mark my words that next chapter is just kashimo fight#I’ve known jjk long enough to understand there’s never breathing room when it comes to any deaths 😭
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((It makes me sad that (especially coming from Roui) the severity of Kariom's duty is greatly diminished in both severity and importance. He's not just a star-reader he was chosen by the King to decipher them for all Tsourai. When he calls himself a savior it isn't entirely out of pride or hubris; he's telling the truth. It's a duty that can (and will, and has) potentially destroy him, even kill him, but one that he can't back down from or falter in because if Kariom makes a mistake?? Even one??? It's, to his understanding, completely over and he wouldn't be able to handle it. He cannot disappoint them, nor can he abandon them, and to fail in the slightest would be doing just that. It would be detrimental to the people that he loves and that, to say nothing of wider consequences, is unfathomable.))
#;;ooc: mun muttering#I emphasize the stress and pressure that this man is under in my writing because it's fucking true#it's one of ways the strength of his character and conviction shines through (evej if he's generally haughty about expressing those things)#he cannot give up and moreover REFUSES to; no matter how hurt; frightened; or confused he is and that takes real passion#I've said before that his obsession re; his duty is equal parts virtue and vice and that's always going to be the case#but I'm also sure that with the right support he'll find the space that he needs; not only to move in but to breathe in#because listen? this man isn't breathing; not in the full emotional sense and he needs that#the duality of this man is such a deep thing you guys; it really fuckin is#hopefully that comes across in my shit; i truly hope so because I've put so much thought behind it all (and again I barely have anything)#he's not perfect about it obviously (as I've said and written before)#but the heart behind what he does? that cannot and should not be ignored or diminished#and his flaws are just as compelling as his strengths and without those his growth and mindset wouldn't be as clear#he's very much a kid sometimes; just like Roui he was forced to grow up almost instantly so ofc he's stunted in places#but I feel that both of them will come to terms with that and each other and be ok#..... and in love.... like admit out loud in love lol#;;ooc: commentary (kariom)
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idk why i expected commentary on how we view and treat criminals/incarceration in arkham city thats on me but im a lil :/ anyway. i need to keep reminding myself this was made around 2010 by the most mainstream whiteboy tastes and opinions imaginable
#the idea of a section of a city walled off to let criminals and everyone branded as criminal#fight it out w the opinion strange has regarding it and the obvious kill em all feature is like. interesting#except so far it hasnt really DONE anything interesting or thoughtful w it. i mean its a comicbook game wat was i expecting#anyway between it and asylum seeing all the villain bios in one place really made me look at how often they go#'schizophrenia made them do this lol' its interesting. catch all excuse but given the timeframe most of those villains were made#like. 60s 70s. when schizophrenia was the default slapped on label for every deviation in behaviour people didnt like. foreseeable#i think one of the descriptions that sticks w me given its in all 3 games is riddlers 'obsessive compulsive need for attention'... ummm....#thats not what that does..... thjts not what that means#it makes me think of. well. i shant say i cant be armchair diagnosing fictional characters#not even if i can relate
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