Space - D.D.

daryl's pov

pairing: daryl dixon x reader

summary: things aren't the same between you and daryl.

warnings: sad

a/n: Heard a devastating song on Tiktok and it inspired this little one shot

You can't remember the last time Daryl held you while you slept. Or the last time he whispered sweet nothings into your ear as you drifted off to sleep.

Something shifted in your relationship around the time Michonne left. You chalked it up to him having more responsibility. Daryl's always put a lot of pressure on himself, but it was a lot worse this time around. With Michonne and Rick gone, the people have looked upon the two of your for guidance and leadership. Not to mention taking in RJ and Judith. There was a big shift in your life, but you didn't expect it to create a rift between you and Daryl.

Every night you would laid down on the bed, your body turned to it's side. Your hand always reached out and rested on the empty space that Daryl will occupy much later in the night. You never went to bed at the same time anymore. Typically, you'd go to bed first once the kids were asleep and the house was clean. Daryl would sit outside on the porch, smoking a cigarette or sharpening knives. No matter how tired he was, he'd do anything that make sure you were asleep first before he tiptoed into the bedroom to get ready for bed. Sometimes you'd pretend to be asleep, you've gotten really good at it.

You would lay completely still, keeping your breathes at a calm and slow pace. You'd listen carefully as he hummed to himself in the bathroom, the sound of his toothbrush tapping against the sink, his deep sighs as he examined himself in the mirror. You knew his routine all too well from the years you've been together.

Then he'd slowly sink into the bed, careful not to wake you. It wasn't a sweet gesture of him wanting you to rest and get good sleep. He didn't want to wake you because he didn't want to talk to you, he didn't want to argue.

Just like clock work, Daryl woke up extra early today. He slipped out of bed before the sun even peaked onto the horizon. The sound of the shower turning on woke you up. You couldn't stop yourself from scooting closer to his side of the bed, pulling his pillow close to you. You close your eyes, trying to imagine it was him you were holding. Your fingers grazed the sheets, hoping it would provide you any sort of resemblance of your lover. It didn't.

The sound of the bathroom door creaking, makes your freeze in your place. The soft pads of his footsteps approach the edge of the bed. You know he's right behind you, you know he's looking down at your "sleeping" body.

You feel his finger graze your skin and you do everything in your power to be still, not to flinch at his touch, not even twitch. Daryl gently moves a strand of hair out of your face. Your heart is racing inside of your chest and you think he might even press a kiss to your head.

All that he does is breathe out a deep sigh before retracting his hand. Your skin, where his calloused hands just were, now exposed to the cold air. His footsteps shift away before disappearing down the hall.

You let out a breathe you didn't realize you were holding and you opened your eyes. The sun just started it's ascent and the room was a soft yellow tint as the light snuck its way through the window.

You wanted to cry.

You wanted to scream.

How did you go from real love to roommates?

You wanted your lover back. You wanted your Daryl back.

You missed the nights when you and Daryl would stay up late talking. You'd sit on the porch, looking up at the stars in the sky. Neither one of you cared if you had to be up early for a watch shift or for a supply run. You'd stay up to talk and spend time with each other because that was the only time you'd be able to.

"Reckon this shit will ever end?"

You glanced up at him before looking back out at the dark sky. You shook your head.

"Don't think so." You mumbled. "But if it weren't for all this shit... I don't think we'd have met."

Daryl let out a grunt, with a small nod of his head. "I suppose that makes it all worth it." He mumbles, pressing his lips to the side of your head. "You make it all worth it."

You grip his pillow close to your chest, letting the tears slip from your eyes.

When did this bed get so wide?

Kono Oto Tomare Chapter 119 Scans and Rough TL

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT use this translation to make your own TL of the chapter!! The KOT TL group works very hard to give you the most accurate translation, that does as much justice to the original script as possible. This is a ROUGH translation. That means is faulty and there must be mistakes in certain places. This is just for impatient people like myself to get a grasp on what is going on in the chapter! You can REFERENCE my TL if you want to discuss the chapter but never USE it as it was your own.

Scans: Kono Oto Tomare! - Chapter 119 - Page 1 / Raw | Sen Manga

Page 1

Chapter Title: Beyond the detour

Yocchan-sensei: Good job, everyone!

Asano: Yocchan! How was it!

Yocchan-sensei: Do you really need to ask?

Yocchan-sensei: it was "beyond perfect"

Page 2

Tsutsumin: It's your win

Ousuke: !

Tsutsumin: The bet

Tsutsumin: ...As you said, Meiryo was in peak condition

Tsutsumin: And was able to deliver a perfect performance

Page 3

Tsutsumin: I'm sorry.

Tsutsumin: I made wrong assumptions and took them out on you

Tsutsumin: ...Sorry

Page 4

Ousuke: Aww Tsutsumin you are making me blush. Kya

Tsutsumin: Acting like that when someone is seriously apologizing

Ousuke: Sorry, sorry

Ousuke: But hey, since I won the bet that means you have to do whatever I ask, right?

Ousuke: Right?

Ousuke: That's what we agreed to, right?

Tsutsumin: ...Wha-

Tsutsumin: What is it that you want? Are you maybe going to ask me to leave the clu-

Page 5

Ousuke: From now on, please do not ignore me

Ousuke: Just like any other person, being treated as if I'm not there makes me sad.

Tsutsumin: No way

Tsutsumin: He just wanted to ask that

Organizer: You over there! Don't lag behind!

Tsutsumin: !

Page 6

Tsutsumin: -------- ...Let's go, Kiryuu

Sane: Woaaaaaaaaah

Page 7

Sane: That was insaaaaaane----

Mittsu: That was soooo cooool

Kota: My heart is still racing---

Chika: Wow, this is, how to put it

Takezou: Like just hearing it was so fun!

Chika: That!

Page 8

Hiro: Why are you guys acting that impressed!? Do I need to mention that these are our rivals!? Why are you so happy!?

Takezou: Sorry, but is just that when I heard their performance just now

Takezou: I just couldn't help myself

Takezou: Because surely every one of us

Takezou: Went through many things

Takezou: And feelings to reach this place

Page 9

Takezou: When I thought that, it just made me kind of happy. Hehe

Sfx: Do-ki

Background: Admiration

Hiro: You- you are right

Chika: They are our rivals, but they also kinda feel like our partners!

Sane: More like comrades, no?

Sfx: Yeah Yeah!

Mittsu: Ah, this is bad. When I think about it, tears come to my eyes

Kota: Crying

Natsu: ...

Keishi: Yup Yup

Akira: Fu fu

Page 10

Tsukaji: Haaaa--- Meiryou was just flawless. So this is how it's going to be

Komaki: 'This'?

Tsukaji: Meiryou used to play very way too primer and proper. No matter what they did, they could not catch up to the prodigy of Ichiei

Tsukaji: But that doesn't mean that they had to change their approach drastically. They have pushed their strengths to the limit

Tsukaji: As a result, they splendidly exceeded the essence of just being "Prime and proper"

Tsukaji: To be able to look at oneself so objectively

Tsukaji: Is a talent in itself

Tsukaji: I am impressed.

Page 11

Tsukaji: If last year's Meiryo had been able to perform like this...

Tsukaji: The final result might have been different

Chibana Student 2: Meiryo... Was kinda amazing

Chibana Student 3: Hey, last year they were already really good, but they have taken another step---

Tomoe: Is not that impressive

Tomoe: The song is very fun by itself, so is very listenable

Page 12

Chibana Student 1: Is very lame of you to say that, Tomoe

Tomoe: Wha-

Chibana Student 1: No matter how you slice it, it was an amazing performance. Although is frustrating to admit it.

Tomoe: Admitting that is no better than losing!

Chibana Student 1: If we don't admit it, we have already lost

Tomoe: ...That dude in Meiryo. Have you forgotten that he made fun of us with Tokise?

Chibana Student 1: That has nothing to do with their performance

Tomoe: There is!!

Page 13

Tomoe: A performance is like a mirror that reflects the person themself.

Tomoe: There is no way I would like a performance like that!

Chibana Student 1: The point is that she hates that guy, so she can't approve of their performance

Chibana Student 4: Now now, does it really matter? If Meiryo's performance was amazing or not

Chibana Student 4: It will be fine as long as Chibana tops it.

Page 14

Chika: ----Next is the Kanagawa Collective Team

Chika: Looking at the names of the performers, I can't find that guy from Hokuto

Satowa: That guy?

Chika: Yeah, you know. The one who played in the middle. He had a very messed up sense of personal distance----

Page 15

Mio: You mean me?

Chika:AERGHOAEBGOEBGOEBGOAWNBGOIUWHFENONBGEABGBEGNJOAENGBJEJBANGOANAENO!!!!!

Mio: Huhu. Long time no see

Taishin: Hey, Kanzaki---! Don't just go off by yours...

Taishin: ! The guys from Tokise!

Page 16

Kota: Waaa-- Is Taishin-sensei! Long time no see!!

Taishin: Long time no see! How have you all been!

Kota: Good--!

Suzuka: Thank you for your help with that verse

Taishin: No, not at all. I'm grateful for the opportunity to dive into it

Mio: I heard from sensei

Mio: That the song you are playing this time is super fun

Mio: I can't wait... Fufufu

Page 17

Mio: Ufufufufu

Chika: Thanks for that...

Chika: But hey, aren't you with the collective team?

Mio: I'm not

Chika: Incredible, even when you are so good?

Taishin: Their participation is voluntary, so only those who want to play go.

Chika: ! So it's like that

Page 18

Himesaka Students: -----Eh, the... Kanagawa Collective Team?

Himesaka Advisor: That's right. Our school was also approached asking about it.

Himesaka Advisor: Our school was never granted participation in such a way.

Himesaka Advisor: My intention was to reject the invitation but

Himesaka Advisor: I wanted to hear your opinion as well

Wakaba: I am not interested

Wakaba: Rather than spending time on the Collective Team's performance, I would instead start practicing for the next preliminaries

Page 19

Himesaka Student 1: She has a point

Himesaka Student 2: Yeah, she is right

Himesaka Student 3: If Himesaka is not participating, there's really no point in going

Himesaka Advisor: I see. I will reject the proposal then--

Rui: Ex- Excuse me!

Rui: I want to go!!

Himesaka Student 4: Rui!?

Page 20

Rui: With Hozumi!!!

Page 21

*No text*

Page 22

Rui: Is true that we won't be on the stage as Himesaka

Rui: Our performance won't be judged either

Rui: Even knowing that I

Rui: I want to go with Hozumi

Rui: to play at the Nationals!!

Rui [Memory]: ----Hozumi

Rui [Memory]: ----Hozumi

Page 23

Rui[Memory]: Don't sit on your hands

Rui[Memory]: We are going together to Nationals

Hozumi: ----...Yeah...

Page 24

Hozumi: I will go as well

Page 25

*No text*

Page 26

*No text*

Page 27

Hiro[thoughts]: Woah, amazing... so pretty--

Satowa[thoughts]: This is very different from the impression that Himesaka and Hokuto gave

Page 28

Hozumi[Memory]: Thank you for working so hard

Page 29

Tokise: Waaaah

Page 30

*No text*

Page 31

Chika: This is very nice

Chika: Music can take so many shapes, and they are all good.

Takezou: That is true

Page 32

Akari: U-

Akari: OOOOOOOOOO

Sfx: Clap clap clap clap

Akari: For real? Are you for real?

Akari: Isn't this sick?

Akari: The Collective Team is really not gonna get judged?

Akari: Even with this quality!?

Akari: Woaaah, as expected, Nationals are an amazing place

Sentarou: Is ok to be impressed but you haven't forgotten our objective, right?

Akari: Fir-

Akari: First place...

Sentarou: Why are you averting your eyes!? And your voice is too quiet!!

Page 33

Sentarou: Don't tell me you just came here to get scared...?

Akari: Ugh

Akari: Well, of course I'm gonna get scared.

Akari: Everyone's level is incredibly high!

Akari: Miya-senpai and Haru-senpai, you both already have the level to be at the Nationals but...

Akari: I'm not there just yet

Akari: Eh, well that

Akari: Am I not kind of out of place?

Akari: I'm the only one that...

Akari: Eh... Uwaah

Akari: Once you realize it, is very embarrassing...

Page 34

Sfx: Bonk

Akari: Ouch

Akari: What are you doing

Sentarou: Shut up! Don't be sputtering such useless things at this point!

Sentarou: If I thought you were like that, I wouldn't have brought you here, idiot

Akari: Senpaaai...

Page 35

Akari: You are tiny, but you are really a man

Haru: That's Sen-chan for you

Sentarou: You guys are talking too much!!

Eidai Advisor: Children

Eidai Advisor: Is time for us to go prepare

Haru: Eh

Haru: Oh that's right. It was right after the Kanagawa Collective Team performance finished

Sentarou: Aight let's go!!

Akari: Woawoawoa my heart's not ready

Chika[thoughts]: Hm? That guy---...

Chika: ...Break a leg

Side text: There are no rivals... Just allies----.

---Kono Oto Tomare! will continue in the next issue---

“Mom! Mom! C’mere!”

The exuberant little colt was over the moon, galloping as fast as his growing legs would take him in search of his mother. He had a big surprise for her—well, technically two surprises! The second one came as a surprise even to him.

“Mountain Peak!”

Limestone Pie looked up from her work looking a bit irritated, like he had interrupted something important. Although it was really the same work she did every day, no more and no less.

“What do you want?”

Mounty was normally put off by his mother’s sour, fun-squashing attitude, but right now he was too excited to care about that. He was jumping up and down like a younger foal, barely able to contain himself.

“I got somethin’ to show you! It’ll only be a minute, follow me!”

“Alright, but make it quick.”

Limestone begrudgingly followed him; it was clear as day she was thinking to herself how inconvenient it was to be interrupted from her work. She didn’t even bother to put down the tools she was working with, because that would have been another few seconds wasted in her eyes. But then she noticed something—

“What’s that on your flank?”

“Oh, nothin’…”

The colt smirked mischievously, having fully intended for her to notice.

“Just my cutie mark!”

He turned around and showed it off proudly, like it was a real gemstone.

“Good Gaia.”

Even Limestone was surprised at what she saw, not just that her youngest foal had finally earned his cutie mark but it was a rock! A shiny geode to be exact.

She couldn’t quite express her surprise and what she really thought of this, but that mark did mean one thing: somepony who was sure to help out around the farm.

“How’d you get it?”

She mumbled through the toolbox in her teeth.

“Keep followin’ and I’ll show ya!”

Mounty led her across the farm, making sure to trot so as to not take up too much of her time. It took a bit longer than usual because what he was about to show her was hidden away at the edge of the farm, where nopony would see it before it was ready.

“Ta da!”

He finally called out in a sing-song voice once they reached their destination. 

Before them was a contraption that appeared to be a metal slide, stretching out for a few yards from end to end. At the higher end was a pile of rocks, which Mounty had set up to demonstrate.

He had to admit, the initial thrill of getting his cutie mark had waned just a little as a somewhat anxious feeling set in. He knew his mom wouldn’t like knowing that he’d wasted valuable work time on this, and he knew she wasn’t particularly open to new ideas. But he got his cutie mark making this, it had to be a sign! Maybe this time would be different.

“What in Gaia’s name is this?”

Hopefully…

“Y’see, I’ve been watchin’ the way you and my aunties haul all those rocks around, and it looks like an awful lot of work! And it takes a whole lot of time, that I’m sure you wanna use on other jobs ‘round the farm. So I did some drawin’ and plannin’ and buildin’ for a solution, and came up with this. Never durin’ work hours of course! But watch this!”

He hoisted up a rock from the pile, pushing it into the slide and watching it roll down.

“With the incline, the rocks do all the movin’ for ya! You could build one o’ these clear ‘cross the farm! An’ this one is made of titanium instead of wood, so it’s a lot less sure to erode.”

Then he unintentionally struck a nerve.

“I bet Grandpa woulda liked one of these when he was around, don’t you?”

Limestone didn’t say anything at all for a moment, her mouth dropped agape and her toolbox fell with her jaw. Mounty couldn’t imagine what she was thinking now. Pride? Anger? Sadness? Surely she was missing Grandpa. Maybe he shouldn’t have brought him up?

Not even the Pie matriarch herself knew what to think at first. She had to admit to herself, it was impressive how much skill Mountain had at such a young age. He had designed and built this whole contraption all by himself. It showed a whole lot of dedication and skill.

It also showed a stubborn desire to defy his family’s traditions.

Mounty watched her move her mouth silently for a moment, in pure shock, until she clutched her father’s old necktie and came back to herself.

“Mountain Peak, there’s a reason we do things the way we do on this farm.”

She growled.

“Out of respect for everypony who worked these fields before us. All of the stallions who held this farm together so we could be here. Your grandfather, Igneous Rock. Feldspar Granite and his brother Brackish—the first. And many generations before them. Are you trying to spit in their faces and say they didn’t know what they were doing?”

“No, of course I ain’t!”

Mounty protested, but he couldn’t stop Limestone from picking up her tools and going in on his contraption.

“What are ya doing?”

“Taking this thing apart! We have better things to use this titanium for. Things that won’t make us lazy.”

“It ain’t makin’ us lazy!”

Mounty was outright angry as he argued back.

“It’d make our work better, more efficient even! Grandpa an’ the rest o’ the family jus’ didn’t have tools like this, else they woulda done this too!”

“You don’t know that. One thing I do know is your grandpa wouldn’t like you talking back!”

There was nothing else Mounty could do but kick up dust in frustration, helplessly watching his mom dismantle his hard work…

Painfully slowly. In a twisted way, it was almost comical.

“A couple o’ power tools would get the job done real quicker.”

“Don’t tell me how to do my job.”

She snipped back through the screwdriver in her teeth.

“Go take that cutie mark and do something useful with it.”

And off the colt went, stung by how much this big moment had been soured for him. He couldn’t sugarcoat it: Mom was more ornery than ever. And only getting worse each year since Grandpa died, even though she claimed to be following his legacy.

If she was, they clearly knew two different Igneous Rocks.

~~~~~~~~~~

Previous: Bedrock Next: Party Ponies

Limestone Pie's cutie mark by Parcly-Taxel

Welcome to Aurora Bay, [NICOLE "NIKKI" KEATON] ! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [OLIVIA HOLT] . You must be the [TWENTY-FIVE] year old [TEACHER AT KIDS’ COTTAGE DAYCARE CENTER] . Word is you’re [SELFLESS] but can also be a bit [INSECURE] and your favorite song is [I LIVED BY ONEREPUBLIC] . I also heard you’ll be staying in [OCEAN CREST APARTMENTS] . I’m sure you’ll love it!

Basic Information

FULL NAME: Nicole Imogen Keaton NICKNAMES: Nik, Nikki AGE: Twenty-five  DATE OF BIRTH: November 16th, 1997 OCCUPATION: teacher at Kids' Cottage Daycare Center NEIGHBORHOOD: Ocean Crest apartments (+): selfless, positive, fun (-): insecure, overdramatic, temperamental

.tw: sleeping disorder

Born in Aurora Bay, Nikki has embraced her role as the baby of the family, turning it into a platform for her achievements or a cushion to fall back onto when needed.

Growing up with two older siblings helped her not only learn from their mistakes when dealing with their parents but it also made her more outspoken about her needs and dislikes. Although sometimes going for the jugular with each other, Nicole adores her siblings. She doesn’t tell them as often as she probably could -or should- but she will always have their back. Not only that, but she also wants them to be proud of her.

It started small; difficulty sleeping, stress peaking at night. It was nothing, it gave her more time to study, to work through things. People constantly asked for more hours in the day -Nicole had that. Then it only went downhill. The happier people were with her, the less she slept to make sure it continued.

Nikki’s people pleasing tendency peaked through high school. Socially a queen bee, up to her teeth in clubs and activities, member of various school committees, tutoring other students and always helping her mother with work or the house. At the time, Nicole shined as a charming overachiever. And it was exhausting.

During her years in college, her insomnia reached an almost dangerous extent; not sleeping for two or three days at a time before she crashed and burned. Things would have gone completely downhill if her dad hadn’t put a stop to it by forcing her to go to therapy. And it saved her life.

Nikki knows she’s not taking care of herself as much as she should. Her caffeine addiction does not help with her sleeping disorder, and she constantly looks for ways to tire herself into sleeping without burning out again. All this is also amplified by her feelings; being happy or sad or angry has an impact on how well she cares for herself. But she wants her family to be proud of her so she’s trying. At least she’s trying. @aurorabayaesthetic

Mob Psycho 100 III Episode 12: What Do You Want?

It's a simple question, and a part of one of the most memorable sequences that comprises the first opening for the series. And there's lots of answers to it. But, I think there's no better answer than the ending of Mob's story, which unfolded today.

The emotional crescendo that it produced is unmatched, as alongside Mob's terror, sadness, his own isolation from within himself, everyone else is able to get their ending. In the episode previous we saw characters like Ritsu get their time to shine, their moment to prove their worth and development. This episode however, we focus on two characters: Reigen, and Mob. The two that have been together for the longest, the reason that things are the way they are, the mentor and the student.

Reigen's emotional peak from this episode really was just beautiful. Using Mob's song that pertains to reaching your limits as he fought tooth and nail to put himself in front of Mob was absolutely perfect. I couldn't have asked for a better approach to that sequence.

Add on top of it his big speech to talk down Mob? It's amazing, it's such incredible writing and effort to drive home the most important aspects of the series, of its sentiment, of Mob.

The whole concept of being "special" or "different", even in the face of terrible power remains a central theme to the story. It's not about making sure that Mob understands that he's not special for having powers, but rather he's not special or different for what he feels. For what the Mob that Mob hid away feels. That he needed to hide his powers because people shunned him, or because they'd think differently of him. Reigen doesn't talk to Mob like he's a psychic, he talks to him like he's a growing boy that's having a hard time understanding. Reminding him of how the world is, that he's not alone in his feelings or thoughts, and that he shouldn't view himself differently in spite of them. And it's with Reigen's (and everybody else's) support that Mob is able to accept his other half.

And you want to know what's so emotionally beautiful about this clip? It's how they reach out to each other. The Mob that's afraid, that feels neglected and despised, that feels like they're treated differently, that Mob hesitates in reaching out for the other's hand. He has his reservations, his concerns, even fears. But our Mob reaches back out towards him. Our Mob that worked so hard to become who he is now, the one that fought for friendships, that worked tirelessly to become a better version of himself. He extends his hand out to fully accept his other half.

And to top it all off, we don't end on a heavy note. We don't end on some significant piece. We end on Mob. In his daily life. Doing what he wants to do more than anything else. Talking with is friends, being a club leader, helping those around him. And most importantly, smiling. Laughing, creating memories. It's the life Mob fought so hard for, come to fruition. No concessions, no giving up. And it's more than beautiful. It's a story that will last well into the future about the importance of being yourself and trying to become a better person.

2022 Albums of the year!!

1 - Deep in View by Cola

My favorite album of the year. This is what I wish all post punk was like. Theres a clear pop influence here that drives every song and just makes it a joy to listen to. I'm tired of the sad, ominous dirge of post punk (looking at you UK) and this is the completely opposite direction. The instrumentation is fantastic especially the drums. These songs just move you forward and to dance. I really hope we hear more from Cola and more music in this vein in general. Plus I saw them this year and they were great.

Nothing on here quite reaches the peaks of Beautiful Blue Sky by their former band Ought but wow its so so fun.

Favorites: Blank Curtain, At Pace, Gossamer, Water Table

2 - Blue Rev by Alvvays

Idk what else needs to or can be said about this album and Alvvays in general. Impeccable is the first word that comes to mind. The songs are tight, fun, rocky, power-pop bangers. I mean what more can you want from Alvvays? They're falling into that Beach House category where they don't really branch out much because why would they? They're perfect at what they do. That being said I do love some of the newer directions they've gone like the shoegaze influences and especially how psychedelic they get on songs like Very Online Guy (which sounds like if Kevin Parker somehow ended up playing bass in Alvvays).

Just listen to this album 100 times its perfect, its great, I don't know what more you can ask of Alvvays at this point.

3 - Expert in a Dying Field by The Beths

Power Pop! Power! Pop!! Its so back. A lot of what I said for Alvvays applies here too. I love The Beths the guitar work is awesome and Elizabeth Stokes is one of my favorite song writers nowadays. Every song is so fun to listen and sing to. I really preached to everyone about this album because its so good. 2am is one of my favorite album closers ever. What a beautiful, beautiful song and my favorite song this year. It still gives me chills after listening to this album probably a dozen times this year.

Do you feel it? Feel it like you did back then? 2 a.m., we were pounding the pavement And I wonder could we be that way again? Still awake, talking late in the kitchen

4 - Cave World by Viagra Boys

This album was such a surprise! I like Viagra Boys (I mean who doesnt love Sports?) but I didnt expect this kind of album from them. They've always been good but this album is unique and has such a voice. Its the most topical of all the albums on here with all its references to vaccines and adhd and everything. Its all all tongue in cheek (I'm 99% sure lol) but it puts the album in a really fun place. All of the electric and poppy and rocky influences make this such a joy to listen to. I kind of thought Viagra Boys would fall into the sea of post punk bands and put out solid albums every 3 years but this is one I'm going to keep going back to again and again. I'm really excited to see what they make next. Also I neeeeeed to see this live. I haven't seen them yet and they canceled their show near me.

5 - God Save the Animals by Alex G

Is Alex G emo? Why not? This album is a new direction for Alex G after his kind of maximalist House of Sugar and Rocket it returns to more stripped down guitar and keyboard sound. I love the way he writes songs they're sad but hopeful? The lyrics are almost all dark but the instrumentation is so optimistic and you know the people in the song are trying despite their failures. Its very real plus its fun to listen to. Runner is somehow the best country song released in years while emo at the same time. I'm really happy that Alex G put this one together as he's a very important artist for me and means so much. He's so talented and really puts it all together on God Save the Animals.

6 - Nicks and Grazes by Palm

7 - Horeshit on Route 66 by The Garden

8 - Stumpwork by Dry Cleaning

9 - Super Champion by Otoboke Beaver

10 - Stalled Flutes, Means by Asian Glow

Honorable Mentions: Forget Your Own Face, Wet Leg, Dreams (by Elephant Gym), PRE PLEASURE, Big Time, and Emotional Eternal

Jarome | The Smell of Dying and Disinfectant | Self Paragraph

“He’s still breathing, he’s not brain dead.”

“Miracles happen everyday.”

“Don’t give up hope.”

Bullshit.

All of it. Bullshit. It had been almost a week of the same routine. Jarome would come into the hospital in the evening and pull up a chair next to Stevie’s bed. He played Stevie’s favorite song once at the beginning of his visits and once at the end. For the most part he just talked… he talked about his day, about Cass and Noah’s training sessions… sometimes he talked to the doctors, sometimes he just stared at the soap operas on the television.

He thought about reading to his cousin, but Stephen had never cared very much for books, especially fiction. He preferred news articles and textbooks, of all things.

For now, Jarome was speechless. He had been watching the slow rise and fall of Stevie’s chest through the blankets. He was breathing, a steady beep on the monitor told Jarome his heart was beating… all signs of life. So why did Stephen look so dead? He guessed it was that people aren’t alive because their bodies can function, they’re alive because they can feel…

The thought slipped away from him. He was tired of being a deep thinker and tired of trying to make sense out of what was a shitstorm of sadness and bad luck. There wasn’t a silver lining, not this time. Stevie would probably never wake up… the doctors would wait it out, making subconscious bets on how long it would take Jarome to ask them to pull the plug.

What a terrible right to bestow someone with, to choose the exact time their loved one is to die.

“Here, baby.” A familiar and loving voice said from behind him.

He looked up and found black pudgy fingers holding a Jones orange cream soda by the neck of its bottle. Jarome’s eyes traced from the bottle up the arm and past the sleeves of a Nurse’s outfit. It was Miss Rita, the nurse who had first allowed him in to see his cousin, the nurse who cared too much for the better.

She had taken to giving Jarome special attention because she’d peaked at the records and discovered that he and Stephen were the only surviving members of their dwindling family tree. Jarome found it hard to react to her in most cases, not sure what it was like to be babied by a woman. He had long since lost any motherly figures he would have needed, or did need, in his life.

“Thank you.” He said, feeling guilty for practically snatching the bottle away. He twisted the cap off and took a long gulp, he swallowed hard the first time and the drink went down wrong. He shut his eyes and took chaser sips of the soda to try and alleviate some of the discomfort.

“Slow down now. Visiting hours don’t end until 8 o'clock.” She chided. He lowered the bottle and twisted the cap back on. She put a meaty hand on his shoulder. It was warm to the touch. For a moment, Jarome felt an innate desire to rest his head on that hand and just snuggle with Miss Rita. But again, so many social walls kept him from acting on such an impulse.

He reached up and covered her hand with his own. “I really appreciate all you’re doing, Miss Rita.” He said, not looking up with her, his eyes instead resting on Stephen. “Don’t you worry, baby,” she told him casually, “If you need anything you just hit that nurse’s button. Alright?” He nodded in agreement and felt her hand slip away from him. She disappeared out of the room.

She could have been a ghost, an apparition, this entire time. Jarome wouldn’t have known the difference. Not at this point. He bent forward to set the drink down but it slipped and clattered against the tile before rolling underneath the bed, soda gushing out freely onto the floor. It hadn’t shattered or cracked but the sound was deafening. “Shit. Sorry, Stevie.” He looked up as if to see if his cousin had been disturbed. He hadn’t. Jarome wished he had been.

Strong tears welled painfully in his eyes and poured out like the first wave of an army on enemy soil. He wanted so much to believe that Stevie was alive… but the man just looked so dead.

Cass shook his head, his face read only of pity but his heart throbbed in agony for Jarome. He had never seen his leader cry before… when he’d first gotten back he seemed cold and reserved, but not sad. Never sad.

He teleported. Away from the hospital. Back home. So as not to intrude.

Jarome hadn’t noticed him at all.

Chapter 5 || Stolkhom

Reiner x reader

Previous chapter

Warnings: Age regression and violence

Another week flew past and Y/n received her confirmation letter to go to work. Her application was accepted and she has to work as a waitress, cleaning up and helping people by the checkout.

Reiner was given a maths sheet full of multiplication questions. He was filling them out with a red crayon, humming in thought. "You never were good at maths," Y/n mumbled as she neatened the tie on her collar.

"No?" He pouted. Y/n sighed and ruffled his hair, "Afraid not."

During the week, Y/n would tell Reiner funny stories about before he got 'ill' and forgot everything. He'd diligently listen and laugh, adding questions about what he was like and what life was for him. However, even with all this information released, Y/n still had no intention of properly telling him about Mihai just yet.

Since Reiner seemed to have mannerisms of a child, she thought it'd be best until the doctor could be afforded. Even if she didn't know whether he could be cured or not. Regardless, Y/n would still work until she could get one, she didn't care how much it cost as long as there was a small light of hope. And if that small light of hope was destiny it could open up wider and guide her way out of misery.

"Mummy used to teach me two times tables." He abruptly declared. Y/n stopped packing her bag for a moment, mentally preparing for the worst.

Reiner raised his hung head to look at the woman at the end of the table, only for her to avoid his questioning glare. "You won't tell me anything about mummy, will you?"

"I'll tell you, it's just-" she frustratingly stood upright forgetting her shoelaces. "It's just not the right time"-

"It never is the right time, is it?" He gulped a heavy knot down his throat, "You'll always"-

"Reiner!" She snapped, "Don't you think I have enough on my plate already?! I already hear enough of your stupid whining every single day!"

Once her vision cleared of anger she noticed his eyes wide in betrayal.

It made her wish she could suck her words back in, to replace them with a more kind and patient approach. But it was too late, he was too stubborn to let on that he was hurt, making it obvious that he blinked back tears.

Stumbling on her words, Y/n fixed her yells with a gentle tone, "Hey... Rein"-

"You should go to work." His voice wobbled, interrupting her before she could speak or point it out. "You'll be late if you stay any longer."

Understanding that trying to solve the problem now wouldn't work, she took his advice and finished tying her shoelace. Reiner refused to look at her anymore, he stuck to guiltily fidgeting with the crayon. The sight wanted to make her hold him and chant apologies over and over again but she knew it would only make him angrier.

"There's food in the fridge if you get hungry," was the last thing he heard her say before the door shut, leaving the hesitant sound of regret and sorrow.

≈≈≈

Mihai chose his favourite shirt and cargo shorts for when Porco would arrive. Pieck and Zeke invited him over for dinner since they wanted to talk about grown-up matters.

At the sound of the door opening, he raced to the opening of the stairs, hearing his uncle's voice greet Pieck from the front door.

His hooded eyes shone like emeralds the second he locked eyes with the boy running towards him. "Ayyy, how's my lil' gangster?- oof!" Mihai pounced into his arms. Porco held him from under his armpits and hoisted him up into the sky.

The giggly child freely kicked his legs at the exhilarating feeling.

"Be careful, Pock."

"I always am." He settled the boy down on his shoulders, "Aren't I? Mihai."

"Uncle Porco is really strong, auntie Pieck, he's never dropped me!- not once!"

The smug man agreed, slightly nudging Mihai. "Just 'careful around my hair bud,"

With a soft snort, the gentlewoman showed the two to the dining room, where Zeke had just finished setting the table. He was delightfully shocked to notice Porco had already arrived.

"Porco!" He warmly welcomed, "Hey, Zeke."

It began off with Porco catching up with Mihai's life, asking him about who's helping him study (Pieck is for math and English, Zeke is for science and history) and how nicely his hair has grown. Pieck and Zeke would sometimes put their own input on Mihai and how smart he was, how tall he was growing.

By the time they finished eating, Porco had suddenly remembered something. "Say, Mihai, I bought you a present with me but I left it at the front door, you wanna go get it?"

The child enthusiastically nodded and sprinted off at command, making the adults fondly watch.

"So," Porco turned to the other two, "What's going on with his dad and mum? Any answers?"

Pieck shook her head in disappointment, "Nothing. Y/n sends letters occasionally but the letters that come for us usually just contain money and an apology."

He sighed at her words, rubbing his crinkling forehead in frustration. "I swear that woman will be the end of us, she never admits defeat, does she?"

"No, none of us know how Reiner truly is. Though she did say she got a job and is working towards buying a private doctor." Zeke added, stirring his cold and untouched tea. "I thought of visiting her."

"What about Mihai?"

"We could bring him along," Pieck suggested. "What, since Porco is almost always busy, it's our only choice."

"Uncle Porco!" They heard stubby footsteps thud towards them. Mihai was holding up a thick comic as of it were a trophy. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"

Porco grinned down at the boy before plucking him off the floor and onto his lap. "Don't mention it, little man." The two bumped each other's fists. Pieck could only watch with a spike of sadness in her eyes, Porco is Mihai's only friend, even though the age difference was that of a father and son. Porco just appears younger than Reiner does. Despite his up-tight personality, he remains less wrinkly.

≈≈≈

While it had rightfully been a long day, Y/n couldn't help but slump her aching shoulders. With what happened the same morning, it only extended her day into what felt like an entire year. Going to work with an aching chest was the last thing she wanted. All she could think of was running back home and making it up to Reiner. 

Looking back on it now, she realised how much of a fool she was to leave him alone in the house after that small disagreement. Who knows what horror she could be met with once she gets home? What degree it was at?

Shaking her terrifying thoughts away, Y/n kept a straight face as she got out of the bus and trailed down the sand path among the fresh grass. While her face may appear relaxed, her steps were aggressively fast, pushing her towards what her mind concluded was her doom.

The noise the door made when she pushed it open left an empty echo, with no sound of footsteps or small fidgeting around the house. Reiner would have at least awkwardly coughed. 

Stepping further in, Y/n could hear her heart in her ear. "I'm home...!" When she got no response, she took off into every room, every hiding space, every cramped area that a man his size could physically never fit in. "Reiner! If this is a joke, then it's not funny!" Her voice trembled the more she yelled. How strange, a second ago she was sure it would happen and now, she's in denial.

"Fuck..." That was the last thing she said before sprinting out of the house and towards the oncoming woods. It would get fully dark in around a few hours but she didn't care, something dangerous could have gotten him!- if he was even inside there! What if he left for the road where the bus picks the residents up?! Someone could have taken advantage of him- he could've gotten run over! What if a snake bit him?!

Voice cracking as she poorly fought back her sobs, Y/n continued to call his name, no matter how much her throat throbbed. "PLEASE!" She cried, "I'LL GET YOU ANYTHING YOU WANT! ANYTHING!- JUST COME OUT REINER!"

Deeper through the cold and shadowed zig-zags of the forest she constantly stumbled and slipped, proceeding through nonetheless. 

"I SWEAR I WON'T BE ANGRY!" 

Just as she made it any further, her foot got caught on a long branch, causing her to collapse onto her knees. Plunging into her despair, she frantically burst out into manic sobs, "I'm sorry... I'm- I'm so sorry!" her hands grasped a fistful of the damp leaves on the floor, heavy droplets of tears wetting the amber and green leaves.

Fisting her dirty hand, she punched the floor below her and pushed herself up and continued on her search. Already, her eyes stung from the tears yet nothing hurt more than the thought of never finding him again. The small thought of it yanked at her heartstrings and thrust her into insanity.

The weakening daylight welcomed her the instant she made her way out of the woods. Her dress was muddy and the front exposed the countless times she slipped and bruised her knees. However, that didn't phase her. She'd search the entire country if she has to, she vowed as she rushed to the path for the bus stop. Her sleeves wiped at her moist eyes, trying to recover her sharper vision.

Suddenly, a distant breath caught her attention, the deep ring to it, the audible huff she'd hear on the daily. Y/n snapped around to confirm if it was her imagination or reality, her heart caught in her airways at the sight. The blond rushed towards her, also having a dirtied appearance.

Without a second's hesitation, Y/n darted in his direction. The instant his arms desperately caged her to his chest, she let out a strangled sob. Reiner did the same, having nothing to say as he needlessly inflicted fear of abandonment onto himself. He realised, while her arms tightened around his waist, that he had no reason to run away and even when he tried, he missed her.

Even when he calmed down, she hadn't, her voice croaked yet her deafening noises of pain never seemed to falter and soon, her legs gave out, causing Reiner to gently descend onto his knees with her and hold her impossibly close to his heart. He wanted to apologise, to tell her it was okay now despite his voice hurt, scorching his throat when he tried to speak.

She slowly went limp in his arms, mentally and physically exhausted by the time the sun had mostly dipped, causing a cold and dark change in the atmosphere. But neither cared about the cold air lashing through the fabric of their clothes. They silently soaked in each other's presence in the midst of the swaying grass.

After a while, Reiner realised she had passed out. Her chest weakly heaved with every deep and calm breath. His eyes softened at her rare vulnerability. He gently scooped her up and took her back inside the warm house, laying her delicate body down on her bed. Not caring about the dirt on each other's bodies, he tugged her onto his chest, protectively embracing her.

Next chapter

first date, last night

summary: You were supposed to go on a date tonight, but Bucky just had to interfere. It doesn't make any sense, either. It's not like there's anything going on between the two of you.

pairing: 40s!bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 5.5k

warnings: good old angsty fluff. banter and miscommunication (it's two painfully oblivious idiots in love, people), socially anxious reader, slightly jealous bucky in the beginning, a lot of cake, sad-ish ending (only if we take mcu canon to be a real thing)

please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

prompt: this was written for the lovely @imaginearyparties' theatre challenge—congrats again on 300 followers, ilana!! (and thank you for extending the deadline) my prompt was "first date / last night" from dogfight. you can and should listen to the whole song here.

a/n: frankly, this has zero rights to be as long as it turned out to be, but the second half of this hated my guts and i had to just roll with it. hope you enjoy x

masterlist | read on ao3

It’s late, and Bucky is pacing.

You can hear it through the ceiling, even though you’ve pulled a pillow over your head to try and block out the noise. He’s been pacing ever since you’ve sent him marching upstairs, slamming the door so hard a bit of plaster fell off your living room wall, and you shouted a name after him your mama would have smacked you over the head for.

But tonight was meant to be lovely, your first real night out in the city, and he just had to ruin it. And once again, you’re left to literally pick up the pieces on your own in an empty apartment. What a waste.

You’re sort of glad your roommate has to work the late shift tonight, though. Angie would’ve found this whole thing hilarious. You can almost hear her.

“It’s just because he wants to be your fella,” she’d have said, soothingly combing her fingers through your hair, and you’d have rolled your eyes. “So he doesn’t like anyone else asking you out.”

“It’s not like that, Ange. We’re past the age of pulling pigtails, you know. This ain’t how you treat people,” you told her last time you had this conversation, after Bucky had frightened away the man at the laundromat who’d asked you out for ice cream. Granted, that guy had been a bit of a creep, so you didn’t think much of it at the time. You can’t let yourself.

No matter what strange unspoken thing there seems to be between the two of you. Surely, you’re just imagining things anyway.

Tommy’s different though. Tommy’s a nice guy. Works for a newspaper, sent flowers to your doorstep last week and asked you to go dancing with him soon after, flushing so deeply it reached his ears. And sure, they might be a bit large compared to the rest of his head and he had a somewhat aloof air to him, but he was sweet enough. Besides, you’d never actually been on a proper date. Of course you’d said yes.

Angie made you get a new dress for the occasion, navy colored with a lovely petticoat. The price of it almost made you weep, but “you never get anything nice for yourself, Y/N,” as Angie put it. “Besides, I have the perfect pair of shoes you can borrow.”

8 p.m. rolled around and you were trying not to wait next to the door. Your hands wouldn’t stop sweating.

After ten minutes, you started to worry. Then again, it had just started to rain. Maybe Tommy’d turned back for an umbrella.

At half past eight, you decided to go downstairs to see if he was waiting for you there. Instead, you found Bucky, wearing his newly issued uniform and peaked cap. He was smoking, half-leaning in the entrance so he’d be sheltered from the weather underneath the tiny wooden porch.

Immediately, you felt the old familiar twist in your stomach at the sight of him, the little flutter and sting. This time, though, it was followed by an immediate sense of dread. He wasn’t even supposed to be home so early. Last you’d heard, he’d found some girls for him and Steve to take to that science exposition the papers won’t shut up about. Neither of them had even thought to ask you, of course, even though you were the one who’d first pointed it out to them.

“Sounds like a crowd puller,” Bucky’d frowned and soon changed the subject to some movie with Hedy Lamarr he wanted to see, not noticing the way your face fell.

“He’s a knucklehead,” Steve had said later with an apologetic smile, and you’d nodded and thrown the flyer in the trash, unsure what you’d expected or how you’d wanted the conversation to go. After all, you’re just the girl from the second floor, a friendly face on rainy days, sure, but also easily ignored. Well, most days, anyway.

Bucky turned when he heard your steps approaching. Your bad feeling seemed to be confirmed, because at the sight of you, he choked on the smoke he was inhaling. Like someone caught. Ignoring his coughing, you glanced past him. Not a single person was out in the rain.

“Has anybody asked for me?” you asked wearily.

Bucky’s eyes were still wide as he took you in. “Well, look at you all decked out,” he said hoarsely.

You crossed your arms. “Just answer the question.”

“Fella came by a bit ago,” he said nonchalantly, turning his head to blow out a puff of smoke away from your face. “Didn’t stick around.”

“What did you tell him?”

“That you’re not interested?” He made it sound like a question, cocking his head slightly, that little lopsided smile of his dancing around the corner of his mouth but never reaching his eyes. It only irritated you more. “I actually wanted to—”

“Why on earth would you do that?” you interrupt him.

“Why, was I wrong?” He went for another drag from his cigarette, but you snatched it out of his fingers and stomped on it. For some reason, that just made him give a laugh. “Come on, sugar! That guy’s a drip, anyway.”

“You don’t know him!”

“Neither do you, or you wouldn’t’ve agreed to go out with him. He ain’t right for you.”

“Well, you don’t get to decide that! You don’t see me going around tellin’ you you can’t go out with Clara from the flower shop or whatever she’s called!”

That was a slip-up. Bucky’s smile morphed into a smirk. “Have you been keeping tabs on me?”

“Oh, grow up, Barnes, I don’t care what you do!” Turning around on your borrowed heels, you pushed back inside.

“If that were true, you wouldn’t know either, would ya?” he called after you, still sounding way too amused.

“I don’t give a—” In your anger, you forgot to skip around the broken floorboard. The heel of Angie’s shoe crashed right through it and you could feel yourself rushing towards the ground. At the last second, a pair of strong arms stopped your fall, pulling you back up until you regained your balance, heart thundering.

“Careful there,” Bucky’s voice murmured way too close to your ear. “Don’t want you fallin’ for me like that.”

There was a beat. Neither of you seemed to breathe.

“You alright?”

“Get off me,” you hissed. His hands disappeared as if you’d burned him, but your skin was left cold. With an annoyed growl, you slipped out of the shoes and yanked the stuck one out of the floor. The heel was left all scratched up. Angie was going to murder you. “Look at this!” you snapped at Bucky, jabbing the messed up shoe in his direction.

He caught it in his hands. “Jeez, that ain’t my fault!”

“Yes, it is! Because without you constantly interfering in my life, I’d be out cuttin’ a rug right now!” Tears threatened to spill out of your eyes now, so you turned your back on Bucky and started to climb up the rickety stairs in your pantyhose.

“You really think you’d be havin’ a good time right now if you’d actually gone out with Dumbo back there?” Bucky called, taking two steps at a time behind you. “Look, I’m sorry but I think—”

“You know what, Bucky,” you interrupted him, turning around sharply in front of your apartment door. “You might fool all those other girls with that fancy uniform of yours that you’re so keen on showin’ off, but underneath, you’re a jerk. And I just want you to stay the hell away from me.”

A look of genuine shock flashed over Bucky’s features for just a second, revealing something else under the layer of jovial swagger you usually saw him wear. Something that almost looked like hurt. It was gone in less than a second, though, replaced by an unusually cold sneer that seemed unnatural on his handsome face.

“All right,” he said, brusquely handing you back the shoe you’d left behind. “I’ll be out of your hair soon enough, anyway.”

“Great,” you shouted as he made his way upstairs, “can’t wait for the peace and quiet!”

The door slammed. The plaster fell.

Angie couldn’t be more wrong, you think as you lie there in bed. You know the way Bucky acts around girls he wants to be with, charming and funny and confident. You’ve seen it too many times, each of them another tiny stab because he’s never been like that with you. Not once.

The pacing finally stops and you breathe a sigh of relief. You emerge from underneath the pillow and drag yourself in front of the little vanity you share with your roommate. In the silence, you wipe the smeared make-up off your face and start pulling the pins out of the elaborate updo you’d spent half the afternoon on. Your hair tumbles down in an unruly mess.

You think about dropping by Tommy’s agency tomorrow to explain your situation, but you don’t think you’re that desperate quite yet. Besides, the thing that really annoys you about Bucky’s words is that he’s not wrong.

You weren’t that interested in your date in the first place. You’d just welcomed the distraction from your actual feelings, because it’d felt nice to get positive attention for a change.

Because despite of his meddlesome ways and his sometimes thoughtless actions, you still care about Bucky. Probably more than you should, and more than he cares for you anyway, no matter how high Angie raises her eyebrows.

Matter of fact is, these past couple of weeks, he’s barely even talked to you, your interactions limited to brief nods in the stairwell and the odd word or two, with him never quite meeting your eye.

Lost in your tangled thoughts, you’re about to start unbuttoning your dress, when a knock on the door brings you back to reality.

You frown. It’s not the rhythmic knock Angie uses when she’s forgotten her keys again, and it’s too timid to be your landlady. Probably Steve trying to talk reason about his best friend’s behavior again. You’re not keen on the speech, but you don’t want to keep Stevie standing in the drafty hallway. He’s stubborn enough to catch pneumonia out of spite and misguided loyalty. Again. Rubbing your cheeks one last time, you go to open the door.

You almost slam it again immediately when you realize it’s not Steve who’s standing on the other side at all. It’s Bucky.

He’s changed out of his fatigues into something more casual, and his hair looks as if he’s dragged his hands through it several times. The disheveled look of it almost has your heart fall over itself and you inhale sharply to keep it firmly locked in your chest.

“What do you want?” you try to snap, but it comes out toneless. You’re too tired for anger.

Bucky clears his throat. He keeps shifting under your gaze, keeps moving, his fingers pulling at a loose thread in the hem of his sweater. Little cracks in his carefully crafted façade that have you pause.

“I was wonderin’ if you’ve eaten.”

Confused doesn’t quite cover your feelings. You’re at a complete loss. “Excuse me?”

“Seein’ as your plans tonight, uhm—fell through, I just thought I’d … ask. In case you’re hungry.” Never, in all the time you’ve known him, have you heard Bucky stumble over his words like this. It’d be endearing if you weren’t still annoyed at him.

“I’m not,” you lie. Truth is, you’ve only had a late lunch and your kitchen cabinets are basically empty since no one was supposed to be in tonight.

“Right,” Bucky says, swallowing. He pushes his hair back again. “Or maybe we could get some sodas down the block, there’s this shop on—”

“Is this some kind of joke?” you interrupt. His eyes finally stop their constant wandering and find yours. There’s an ache in them you haven’t seen before, one that doesn’t make any sense at all. You shake your head, ignoring the flutter. “First you scare off my date and then you want me to come out with you?”

“That’s not what I—it’s not a joke,” Bucky says. “Look, you’re angry with me, I feel rotten, let me make it up to you! You gotta believe me, I’m sorry.”

The sad thing is, you do. When he looks at you like that, you do. You can’t help it.

You sigh deeply. “Go to bed, Bucky, it’s been a long day. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

But when you move to close the door again, he holds it open with his foot. “See, here’s the thing,” he says, his voice wavering ever so slightly, “that’s not exactly an option as I’m being shipped out first thing in the morning.”

Another chip, another crack, and the puzzle pieces are starting to fall back into place. It’s your heart that breaks instead, the last of your anger dissipating into thin air.

“You’re leaving,” you say softly, and Bucky nods curtly. “Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

“Only found out yesterday myself.”

Obviously you’ve known this day would come. You’ve known ever since you first saw him in that damn uniform, and even before then. You just thought he’d have more time. You feel your heart trying to pound out of your chest as you look at Bucky, suddenly desperate to commit his face to memory before … you don’t want to think about it.

“What about—does Steve know?”

“Said goodbye to him at the expo. He wanted to try enlisting again, but I don’t know …” He laughs humorlessly. “At this point, they’ve either taken him or booked him and there ain’t a thing I can do about either. Don’t even know which one’s worse.”

You’re glad you’re still holding onto the door, because you feel slightly faint. In the past months, you’ve gotten so used to living downstairs from Bucky, to having both him and Steve always lingering somewhere nearby, always close, reliably inseparable. And now, from one day to the next, neither of them is going to be here anymore.

“I could eat,” you say abruptly. Bucky seems as surprised about it as you feel, but your heart is still beating fast and you’ve never felt more resolute about anything. “Let me just get my shoes.”

You slip into your everyday oxfords with the flat heels and grab your purse off the floor next to your bed where you’d dropped it earlier. As you pass the vanity, you notice the worried flicker in your eyes. With a deep breath, you try to soothe it away. Not yet. He’s still here.

Bucky is leaning next to the door as you lock up and straighten your back. When you meet his gaze again, he holds it as if he thinks you’ll change your mind any second.

“Where to?” you ask with forced joviality, dropping your key in the bag.

He gives you a tiny crooked grin. “I know just the place.”

“And where’s that?”

“It’s a surprise, sugar.” He sticks out his elbow slightly as you get to the stairs as if he wanted you to take his arm. Bewildered, you look at it for a second before you move past him and start descending. You think you hear him sigh before he follows you.

“You know I hate surprises,” you say, ignoring it.

“You’re gonna like this one. Trust me?”

You hum noncommitantly and hop over the hole in the floorboard. “I still think you’re a jerk, by the way,” you tell him. Because it’s safe. Because that’s what you are, that’s what you do, the two of you, shallowly bickering all the time like neighbors do.

“Yeah,” Bucky says quietly as he holds the door open for you, “I know.”

The rain has stopped, but the air still feels like there’s a storm incoming. The milky glow of the street lamps dimly lights your way through your empty Brooklyn neighborhood. Most shops are closed by now, bedroom windows darkened. Only once you get closer to the larger streets are there still a couple of late-night strollers dotting the alleyways.

You don’t talk, hiding again in the heavy silence that follows an argument. Neither of you seems to want to be the one to come out of it. Personally, you don’t know how.

Stealing a glance at Bucky, you find him already looking at you. Hastily, you avert your eyes again, feeling the heat rush to your cheeks. Every ounce of your earlier determination seems to have vanished; you feel more unsure with each step. Bucky stuffs his hands into his pockets, coughing. You wonder what cat caught his tongue.

He looks more like himself in his own street clothes. He even walks differently, back less straightened, more relaxed. The uniform suits him well, but it makes him look younger, somehow. A bit lost in its ironed edges.

But now, like this, he’s just Bucky. Just Stevie’s best friend. Just your too-charming-for-his-own-good upstairs neighbor who can’t ever make his rations last and comes knocking for eggs and cups of sugar at ridiculous times, making you threaten to tell the landlady. You never do, though, not when he flashes that little lopsided grin at you, his eyebrows drawn together in an almost bashful expression.

You’ve started drinking your coffee black, instead.

It’s little things like that that sometimes make you wonder whether there actually might be something between you two that he’s just decided not to tell you about. It’s certainly enough to make Angie hide a knowing smile, no matter how often you tell her—and yourself—that it’s not like that.

A seawater breeze makes you shiver and you realize you’ve almost reached the bridge. You just start thinking that you should have brought a cardigan when suddenly Bucky stops, muttering to himself.

You halt, too, and half-turn to him, about to ask him what’s wrong when he shrugs off his jacket and wraps it around your shoulders. The gesture is so gentle, so unexpected, that for a moment the words get stuck in your throat.

“Aren’t you gonna be needing that?” you ask softly.

Bucky smiles, and for the first time tonight, it reaches his eyes. You hate the effect it has on you. “I’ll be fine,” he says. “But it’s still a bit of a walk.”

His fingers linger on the collar for another second or two before he slowly pulls back. He inhales as if he wants to say something else, but stops himself at the last moment.

“What?” You pull the jacket more tightly around yourself.

His eyes flicker down your body and back to your face. “Looks better on you than me, anyway,” he says.

You feel the warmth spread to your cheeks, and it isn’t just because of the additional layer. Even though he doesn’t mean anything by it, because it’s not like that between you. Right?

You hurry to catch up with him and once again, silence envelops you both, but it feels different now. As if something in the air has changed.

“Bucky, is this—”

“Listen, Y/N, I—”

An awkward laugh falls from your lips when you both start and stop talking at the same time.

“You go first,” you decide. Maybe he’s just saved you from embarrassing yourself by outright asking him what it is he’s doing.

Bucky chuckles quietly, even though you fail to see what’s so funny. “This isn’t how I expected my last night to go, is all.”

And there it is. “What are we doing here, then?” you ask, crossing your arms even tighter. “Why aren’t you getting dinner with flower shop girl?”

Bucky shakes his head. “I’m not interested in Connie.”

Right. That’s her name. “Then why’d you even ask her out?”

“Because I can’t well walk up to a gal and her friend sayin’ ‘hello, either of you interested in accompanying my pal and me to this exposition while the other one stays behind?’”

Why didn’t you ask me?

You don’t want to say it out loud, but apparently you do, because the next thing Bucky says is, “What, to go with Steve?”

“To go with you.” The sentence is out of your mouth before you can stop it, the hurt still palpable on your tongue. Your heart gives another nervous flutter.

Bucky doesn’t even blink. “Didn’t think you’d say yes.”

You frown. “I like science.”

“You don’t like crowds. Hell, most of the time you barely like me.”

“That’s not true.”

Bucky snorts. “It is. You almost fainted the other week when that fella had the whole laundromat starin’ at you, remember?”

That’s not the part you were protesting, but you do remember. Your sweaty hands holding onto your laundry basket for dear life. Your breaths coming in faster with every passing second. The way your vision started to blur slightly, as if your eyes were trying to protect you from the prying eyes you felt piercing every inch of your skin.

You hadn’t realized that Bucky noticed that, though.

Thankfully, he keeps talking before your thoughts can go down that road. “Besides, you already had a date for tonight.”

Your lingering irritation at his earlier behavior again seems like a much safer topic, somehow. “A date you managed to shoo off before I even got downstairs,” you remark dryly.

He kicks a pebble and you both watch it tumble across the empty sidewalk. “I wasn’t gonna,” Bucky sighs. “I only wanted to say goodbye to you before I left, cross my heart. He just—he got under my skin.”

Now it’s your turn to grin. “And how on earth did he manage that, Buck?”

He doesn’t answer immediately. Instead, he blushes. “Would ya look at that, we’re here,” he finally mutters, nodding up ahead.

You follow his gaze. “Did you drag me halfway through Brooklyn to get murdered in a roadside diner?” you chuckle nervously.

In your defense, it doesn’t look promising. Cold lights and a sadly flickering sign, the windows fogged up with the humid wind blowing through from the docks. When Bucky holds the door open for you, the broken sound of the brass bell has you cringe.

“First of all,” he says, “I couldn’t drag ya anywhere you didn’t want to go if I tried.”

You hide a laugh behind the sleeve of his jacket. The smell of him lingers in the fabric, but not enough to block out the stench of burnt eggs and stale air.

“And second of all,” Bucky continues, sliding into one of the booths next to the window, “I happen to know this fine establishment has the best dessert selection in the city. Do you want coffee?”

“Sure,” you say, sitting down opposite him. Your back is to the wall, which gives you a nice view of the whole of the diner.

Apart from the smell, it’s not as bad as it appears on the outside. The tables are clean, the menu is surprisingly extensive, and the only other customer is a bespectacled elderly man nursing a milkshake with a surprising amount of whipped cream at the bar. You can hear quiet music coming from the kitchen.

You push the half-empty sugar dispenser over to Bucky’s side of the table with a slight grin as a tired looking teenager makes his way to your table with the coffeepot and two mugs. Bucky watches you with curious amusement, but doesn’t seem to pick up on the joke.

“You guys want anything else?”

“Yes,” Bucky says with a charming smile. “However much cake we can get for one dollar and seventeen cents.”

“Are you nuts?” you hiss while you get your coffee poured.

“And give us a variety, please.” He turns back to you. “What?”

“You’re not serious. He’s not serious,” you tell your waiter. “You can’t spend that much money on cake.”

Bucky shrugs. “Not like I’ll get much use out of it come morning. I am very serious,” he tells the teenager.

“Doubt we have that much left, anyway,” the guy says with a yawn and leaves for the kitchen.

“Jesus, Bucky,” you snort, pinching the bridge of your nose.

“I did tell ya I was gonna make it up to you.”

“Yeah.” You lean your head against the back of your seat. “Sorry I yelled at you.”

His eyebrow twitches, but he keeps his eyes on his mug, swirling the contents. “I’ll live, sugar.”

“Promise?”

The painful uncertainty makes the air seem to crackle when he looks at you, then. This time, you don’t pull up the walls protecting your heart immediately, because slowly but surely, you’re running out of time.

You’re sure Bucky notices the emotion on your face, because there’s something similar lingering in his gaze, something you can’t quite put your finger on. It’s like there’s still a puzzle piece you’re missing and the answer to all of it is hiding somewhere in the blue depths of his eyes.

Have they always looked so soft?

For once, Bucky is the first one to look away, and you hastily clear your throat and lock your heart away again.

“So,” you say, “how was the expo?”

“Good,” he says, taking a sip of his coffee. “It was good, it was fun. Lots of people.”

“You keep saying that.”

“Well, if I tell you about the flying car we saw, that just makes me seem like a bragging arse.”

“Language,” you say automatically, then bite your tongue when he looks at you, amused. You think of the plaster on your living room floor. “A flying car, huh?”

“Yeah.” His eyes sparkle like the light reflecting off the sea, and it’s beautiful. “Though it did break on stage, so maybe you didn’t miss that much.”

“What a letdown,” you say sarcastically.

“I know. Steve was so disappointed he left.” He taps his fingers against the rim of his mug.

“He’s gonna be fine, you know,” you say, sensing the leftover worry in his voice. “Even if trouble follows him.”

Bucky snorts. “Steve follows trouble, not the other way round.”

“Still. Bad weeds grow tall and all that.” There’s a pause again and you hum to fill the silence. “Also, he’s not gonna wanna miss Stark’s next grand brain child.”

“I’ve got a feeling that’s not gonna be a good enough reason for that righteous punk to stay outta bad business.”

“You’ll see. Next time, he’ll be front row.” You hesitate, but only for a second. “I’m fine with crowds, by the way. Long as they’re not looking at me.”

Bucky nods slowly, that little lopsided smile making another appearance. His eyes crinkle with it. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

The arrival of his cake order turns the flutter in your stomach into a growl. Coffee cake with cream and steaming apple pie, jam filled vanilla sponge and cheesecake are placed in front of you, each slice about twice the size of what Angie is allowed to cut at the automat.

“We are so gonna turn our stomachs,” you laugh.

“It’ll be worth it,” Bucky answers and ceremoniously hands you a fork.

He’s not wrong. For a couple of minutes, you don’t talk at all, just tasting your way through the different plates in front of you, each bite more delicious than the one before. You have to control yourself hard to not make any obscene noises.

“I’mma miss this,” Bucky says, washing another bite down with the rest of his coffee. “Doubt they’re much for dessert in Italy.”

You watch him over the rim of your own mug. Your eyes flit to the untouched sugar dispenser, and it just irks you.

“Do you bake?” you ask with a doubtful expression.

“What?” Bucky chuckles. “No. Why, do you want me to?”

“Then what are you doing with all that sugar you keep borrowing? Do you eat it raw with a spoon?”

“Ah, you noticed that.” In the harsh light, the pink on his cheeks is all the more visible this time.

You snort over your fork. “Of course I noticed that, how was I not gonna?”

“Well, forgive me, but you have a tendency to wilfully misinterpret my intentions. Or outright ignore them.”

“I do not.”

“Oh yeah?” He leans back in his seat and takes you in for a second. “You look stunning in that dress, sugar.”

You look down at yourself, his jacket still thrown over your shoulders. “You can’t even see it.”

“All right. So when was the last time you changed the water on your flowers?”

You narrow your eyes at the change in topic. “Yesterday.” He stares at you blankly until your eyes widen. “So that wasn’t—”

“Nope.” He takes another bite of cheesecake.

“Right,” you say, slowly putting your fork down. You’re starting to feel a bit queasy, though not in an entirely unpleasant way. “Bucky?”

“Hm?”

“Are you makin’ a pass at me?”

His cheeks darken a little more. “Been tryin’ to do that for weeks now, but thanks for noticing.”

Your mind is racing, trying to form a single coherent thought, but all that manages to make its way out is, “Why?”

“What do you mean, why?” Bucky says. “Because I like you, that’s why.”

“No, you don’t.”

His brows draw together. “I don’t?”

“You went out with a different girl hours ago, and now you’re telling me you like me?”

“I told you before that I wasn’t interested in her.”

“Because you’re interested in … me.”

“Is that really so hard to believe?” His hand is in his hair again and you’re not sure whether he wants to push it back or make a mess of it. You wonder if they’re going to cut it, and the thought stings. It’s ridiculous, really, but it’s also easier to worry about his hair than about him.

“I don’t …” You trail off. Your heart is beating so loud it’s making it impossible to hear your own thoughts. For some reason, Angie’s voice seems to drown out all the noise inside your head. Told you so, she singsongs.

“Look,” Bucky says, and there’s a pained sort of cadence to his voice. “I know you don’t feel the same and this is just about the worst timing, but I couldn’t—I couldn’t risk … but I also didn’t want to leave without …” He huffs quietly and just like that, the final piece of the puzzle falls into place.

You’ve guarded your heart too closely around him.

You stand up with a jolt and he doesn’t even lift his head, as if he thinks you’re just going to leave him sitting there. Instead, you slide into the booth next to him, your body turned towards him.

“I’m so sorry.” Your voice reaches barely above a whisper. Bucky’s breath hitches when you touch his shoulder to have him look at you. “Say it again?”

His eyes flit between yours, still uncertain, still searching for something. Permission, maybe.

You hold your breath.

“I really like you, Y/N.”

And this time, you don’t have to question it. You see it in his eyes, clear as day now, no longer hidden in covert glances and friendly banter. It’s warm and soft, and you’ve never seen this particular expression of his directed at anyone else. He’s looking at you as if you are the only thing on earth that’s real. So you let your walls crumble away.

“I like you so much it terrifies me.”

The changes on Bucky’s face are imminent, the realization as your words hit, the same relieved sort of disbelief that courses through you as well. You pull him in until you can wrap your arms around him and bury your nose in his sweater, breathing him in. He holds you as if you’re something precious, his heart racing as much as yours.

“God, you’re an idiot, Barnes,” you mumble, and you can feel him chuckle.

“I’d say we’re on par for that, sugar.” He presses the tiniest kiss to your head. “We still have the whole rest of the night. About three more slices of cake to go through.”

He doesn’t let you out of his embrace, only draw back enough to face him. His eyes have little specks of gray and brown in them. You’ve never noticed them before, but you’re already committing each and every one of them to memory.

“I wish you didn’t have to go.”

“It’s gonna be fine, you’ll see,” he says, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. “I’ll be back in a couple’a months with some small scars and a medal or two. And then I’ll take you out proper, wherever you want.”

“I’d like that,” you say quietly. “I’d settle for you coming home safe, though.”

“‘Course I will,” Bucky says, and that beautiful little lopsided grin returns. You’re dizzy with the weight of his gaze, and when he leans in closer, your eyes flutter shut. You feel his breath on your cheek when he speaks again, sweet like cake. “Can’t keep my best girl waitin’ too long now, can I?”

Ever the optimist.

And yet, you’re the first one to lean in, as if he still doesn’t believe you’d let him.

You restore his faith, again and again. It almost feels like a promise.

Yandere Leviathan (obey me one shot)~Smut warning

You weren't happy with the arrangement. It was ridiculous that your mother was moving in with her new boyfriend so soon. Not that you didn't believe that she was happy. You've never seen your mom act this way. She was like a dizzy teenager, so love struck. Their honeymoon phase was striking hard and it cute yet somewhat disturbing. You hadn't minded them spending all of their time together. It gave you the opportunity to indulge in a new found freedom. Your mother used to be fixated on your social life, making it hard for you to do your own thing. However that beautiful privilege was going to be taken from you. It was cold the evening you had finally gotten settled in. You weren't the type to complain. You were a go with the flow type of girl. However going from your usual carefree lifestyle to having to share a room with someone was the icing on the top of a fucked up cake. Leviathan was the son of a friend of your mothers boyfriend. He had been staying with him for a few years due to family drama. When you ended up coming to stay as well, there were no other rooms, meaning that the two of you, practically strangers, had to share a living space. You had met Leviathan multiple times before, but it could hardly be considered meeting, given the fact that he hadn't made any effort into speaking to you. Even now as you made busy organizing your side of the room, he only glanced. You realized really quick that he rarely took his eyes off his game, but when he did, his glaze was fixed on you. It was creepy to say the least. You didn't like him already, and him acting creepy wasn't helping you adjust at all. Levi did his schooling online, meaning that when you left for classes during the day, he stayed behind. It hadn't crossed your mind that something weird could happen until you started noticing that a few of your things had gone missing. Articles of clothing mostly. You doubted he was stealing your clothes to wear them so you had dismissed it as being your imagination but even so, it placed a heavy bit of doubt in you. Coming home from school was always awkward. Both of the adults worked late and then would stay out together even later, meaning that it was just the two of you for hours until you went to bed. Today was no different. You sat in your bed, reading a book. Levi was on the floor in front of his tv, playing video games peacefully until the my hero academia theme song sounded off on his phone. You chuckled at his cute ringtone. He blushed lightly, glaring at you as he answered. "That mom and dad?" You asked and he shook his head standing up. "Girlfriend." He muttered before leaving the room for more privacy. You didn't think anything of it. You knew that he had a long distance relationship with some chick on the internet. That was it. He wasn't much of a talker in the first place so opening up about his love life wasn't something you had expected. Much like the sob that interrupted your chapter. You looked up from your paper back and stare in the direction of the slightly cracked door. Out in the hall you could hear Leviathan's voice. You were surprised, never hearing him get so loud. His tone was distressed, whatever she was telling him must not have been good. You didn't want to eavesdrop but a part of you was way too interested in what was going down. You put a piece of scrap paper into your book and set it down before sliding off of your bed silently. You didn't want to alert him. It would just be a little listen and then you'd hurry back to your bed before he even knew it. Though you wish you hadn't had that idea. You couldn't quite make out with what his girlfriend was saying but after hearing Leviathan response with: "Why? What have I done? Please don't do this! Think about it, you love me, and I love you." Listening was one thing you could have scolded yourself on, but you ignored even that and took a peak out the cracked door. Leviathan was pacing back and fourth, his body trembling in what you guessed as anger or maybe intense sadness. As soon as the call was over, he dropped his phone before balling his hand into a fist, striking the wall with an aggressive punch. You gasped as he repeated the action, again and again. As soon as he started to use both of his hands, you decided enough was enough. You rushed out into the hall way and grabbed his shoulder. He pushed you back. "Stay away from me brat!" He shouted and you paused. Your eyes were wide, staring at his bruising knuckles. You glanced back and forth from his hands to his eyes, feeling like you were about to cry with him. Leviathan sighed, closing his eyes and tucking his hands in his hoodie pockets. He muttered an apology before pushing past you, entering the room. You followed him, not trying to get in his face but you wanted to help, or at least wanted to know the drama. Leviathan was laying down on his bed, body sprawled out on his back. He was obviously suffering over what had happened. You weren't exactly sure what you were going to do about it. You sat yourself next to him. He glared at you before reaching up to cover his face with his hands. He tried to hide his wet eyes and red face but you could clearly see the way he was trembling. You didn't want him to be upset. It was going to be a few hours before you were going to bed and you didn't want to have to sit an awkwardness. You scooted closer to him before laying down next to your roommate. You waited a moment before speaking. "Sooo, do you wanna talk about it?" You asked and her growled before turning over onto his side, facing away from you. He gave a few angry sniffles before letting his guard drop just a small bit. "My girlfriend broke up with me..." You gave a little nod to yourself. "Yep...Do you-" "She said I was too clingy! How!?" Levi rolled over, startling you as he continued. "How could I be controlling her from across the ocean?! How big does she think My bank account is that she's accusing me of hacking her phone!?" You attempted to throw in your two sense, however he wasn't giving you the chance, continuing to get worked up, his body was leaning into your personal space more and more. "It's not hacking if I correctly guess a password to something!" You quirked an eyebrow, slightly amused by his tantrum. Leviathan then started getting a little too close, his leg swinging over your body. "If I was hacking her, she would have never even known!" He added, now straddling your hips. For you that was crossing the line and you had reached up to push him off before he caught your hands in his. "I would have done anything for her! I deleted her friends to protect her, I leveled up by body!" He growled the last part, lifting up his shirt, surprising you with actual abs underneath his layers of clothes. He forced your hand up against him and your face flushed with confusion as well as embarrassment. "This was going to be hers." He tipped his head back in thought, closing his eyes and moaning softly. His fingers were firm, holding your hand securely against his body. You were starting to shake, not sure how to react to this. Your mouth twitched, wondering what to say. He was getting a bit lost in his own mind. His hips were relaxing into you, making you feel even more uncomfortable. You had to stop this, it felt out of place, wrong even. You cleared your throat and pulled your hand away from him. As this he responded with a look of realization. He looked down at you for a moment before sighing deeply and dropping his hoodie. "I'm sorry...." He dropped his upper body down, his arms holding him up as he stared down into your face. You nibbled at your bottom lip. "It's fine, Just try and take your mind off of it, how about we play your games or something?" You suggested and his cheeks brightened up. "You'd play with me?" His voice cracked slightly, but you pretended not to hear it. He sat up, rushing to get controllers for the two of you. It was possibly the oddest night of your life. Levi was attached to your hip, leaning up against you while you both played on the tv. It wasn't that bad, you figured he just needed a friend to get his mind off of the breakup. It wasn't that much of a hassle to look after him. It only started getting really weird when it was getting later into the night. You were feeling a bit sleepy and he noticed. "Bed?" He asked and you nodded, standing up, and grabbing a set of clothes to change into. You went to the bathroom, slipping on a pair of shorts and a tank top. Coming back you caught a glimpse of Levi stripping. You scolded yourself for peaking. It was so wrong to spy on him. You just couldn't believe that he was that fit. You never seen him exercise, where did that body come from. You waited for him to put on something more than a tee shirt and boxers. After a minute or so of him just waiting there, you realized that he wasn't planning on putting on pants. You were confused as to what he was up to. He always slept with a hoodie and sweatpants. This was the least amount go clothes you've ever seen him in. Not only that but he was also fixing his hair. It was incredibly strange but that didn't stop you from walking in to your room. You tried to act like you didn't notice his eyes staring at you as you crawled into your bed. He stood there, in the middle of your room, rubbing at his wrist nervously. You laid there on top of your covers waiting. "Um...You can turn off the lights, I'm just gonna crash-" "Could we talk some more?...I mean if you wanna sleep that's fine, But I'd like to vent a bit more." Your eye twitched, out of exaughstion and of slight concern as to where this was going to go. You decided not to be rude and said sure. Much to your surprise he slapped the lights off and threw himself into your bed, his body scooting in close to you. His face was blushing as hard as yours was. "Wouldn't you be more comfy on your own bed? Mine is kinda small." You suggested but he didn't make a move to get up. He only scooted towards you, pressing his legs against yours. You closed your eyes, tight at first, just embarrassed by him acting weird towards you. However after awhile you found yourself leaning into his hand as he stroked you hair, opening your legs so that he could tangle his with yours. You were far too sleepy to put up much of a fight as he wrapped himself around you, hugging you in your sleep. It was warm, so warm and so comfy. Your head against his chest, his heart beat steady and soothing. You passed out soon after he started to hum to you. In the morning you woke up alone. You sat up and rubbed your eyes, for a split second wondering if maybe you had dreamt up that whole thing. You carried on with your morning runtime. Gettin ready for school, putting on makeup, getting dressed, doing your hair. It seemed like a normal morning, until you walked down the stairs. The smell hit you instantly. The sweet aroma of syrup and the yummy scent of waffles greeted you as you entered the kitchen. You were completely shocked seeing Levi standing there. He had his back turned to you, unloading waffles from the maker. He was listening to a soft anime soundtrack playlist as he cooked. He was wearing the boxers he had slept in, but now he had on a shirt. When he finally turned, you realized that he also had on an apron as well. It was a purple one, a shade lighter than his hair. He had a plate of waffles in one hand and a bowl of fruit in the other. "MC! You're up! Good, I just finished breakfast." He set the food down, offering you syrup and a glass of juice. You sat down, a little concerned with his rapid change of pace. He was never up this early, you had stepped over his sleeping body a dozen times before in the morning, yet here he was. For no reason that you could see other than that he wanted to feed you. You watched as he made you a plate. He took his time in placing fruits in certain spots in your waffles, covering them with syrup. He then set the plate in front of you, taking the seat beside you. You reached for your fork, noticing how Levi was staring at you. Trying not to let it bother you, you just started to eating. After a few moments of stuffing your face and looking at your phone you looked up, Levi coughing you off guard. He leaned into you, closing his eyes as he licked the side of your mouth. You panicked, pushing him back and getting off of your chair to avoid him. Levi also stood and rushed towards you. "MC, What's wrong?!" He looked concerned, trying to get close to you, but you refused to let him in your space. You circled the kitchen's counter. "N-no, stay back." You told him and Levi gave a hurt expression, his hands holding his chest as if you had stabbed him in the chest. "You're...mad at me?" His voice was quivering, almost making you feel sorry, but you couldn't. "You licked me." You hissed, crossing your arms over your chest. Levi frowned. "I was just..." He brought his hand up to his forehead, rubbing it angrily. As he continued to speak, you noticed how his voice was getting lower, almost more threatening. He cleared his throat, eyes closed tight as if he was trying to hold back a ton of aggression, and yet you could hear the frustration in his voice. "I'm sorry..." He spit out, taking a breath, finally looking up at you with glossy eyes. He slowly started to inch closer towards you. "You just looked so, cute...I couldn't help it." He mumbled and you shook your head. "N-no, Levi, come on. You're being really weird, I'm just gonna go to school ok-" "No! You can't." He rushed towards you. You weren't fast enough to escape, his hands gripping your wrist, as he used his body to force you up against the wall. You yelped, hitting your head, not too hard but you cringed, making him curse. "Fuck! Are you alright?! I'm not trying to scare you, I just need you to understand." He panicked and you shut your eyes. "L-levi, You're just upset over your ex. I know that you're messed up right now, but you can't take out your feelings on me, you need some help, maybe you should talk to mom or someone-" "NO! Don't tell anyone, please, I only trust you. If you tell mom and dad, they are going to split the family up, they'd be so disappointed...You'll ruin the family." He threatened and you stared at him shocked. You struggled against him, Levi growling. "Stay home from school today, let's just stay in bed, cuddle like we did last night." he cooed, his hips now pressing into the lower half of your body. You started to tremble in fear, "Stop it Levi!" Your cries for mercy didn't do a damn thing, he just continued to grind himself against you. His face held a mixture of embarrassment and pleasure. He was ashamed of what he was doing, a bright blush on his cheeks and apology in his eyes, but his growing erection was proof that it didn't matter to him, his body was reacting positively to you being defenseless against him. "MC, stay home with me~Please stay, please be with me." he begged and you just shook your head. "Leviathan, I-" He cut you off with a kiss. It was passionate and messy, his mouth forcing it's way inside of yours. You were panicking, the only way you knew how to stop it was by biting down on his tongue. You flinched as he drew back, stepping away from you as he spit out blood. "You....You hurt me..." He mumbled under his breath. You stood there, watching in fear as he thought out the situation. "You're such a bitch...I've worked so hard to be here with you...And you've ruined it." He glared at the table where your plate was still sitting along with the other breakfast supplies. "I had it so perfectly planned." He sounded heartbroken, his voice cracking slightly. He then turned back to you. "You're not even sorry...You ruined our breakfast together, and then you bit me!" he shouted, scaring you into backing away. He stalked towards you. " I didn't want it to be this way, I was so excited...there's only one thing that I'll except as an apology." He said darkly and you bolted. It was no use fighting him. As soon as he caught up to you, it was over. Levi was so much more stronger than you, and quick too. He's whole demeanor changed, his sweet persona new replaced with a cruel alter ego. He was treating you like a naughty pet, which was even stranger before in order for you to earn his forgiveness, he had wanted you to dress up for him, so that he could take pictures. You were terrified of the older boy in front of you. He was humming happily as he did your hair, putting it up in pigtails, adding on some cat ear clips to finish off the look. You looked up at him with a pleading expression, but at this point, he was in his own reality, not registering the situation at all. That's what made him unpredictable. "So cute!" He beamed, offering you his hands so he could pick you up off the floor. You glanced over to the mirror on the wall, gasping as you seen yourself. Levi had fully dressed you. You had a two piece on, a black and white maids top and a matching shirt, thigh highs going up your legs. You also noticed the tail that was pinned you your shirt. Levi was putting in some final touches. He crouched down in front of you, making sure your thigh highs were up all the way. He looked up at you with almost a loving expression. He then wrapped his arms around you legs, hugging you, his face burying into your thighs. You blushed as he held you. "I'm so glad it fits, I bought it a month ago, I figured you were a medium but by the way your curves are popping out, mm you might be a large~" He mumbled still snuggling you. You caught his words. "A month ago...You bought this for me?" You asked and Levi nodded. "Of course, I thought-...ha..." He stood, up his face red, caught in a lie. You frowned at him. "A month ago, you were still with your girlfriend...What do you mean you bought this for me?" You asked, your hands crossing over your chest. Levi scratched the back of his head nervously. "I had to make you comfortable with me...I knew that it was going to be hard, you moving in with a boy. I thought if I had a girlfriend, you might warm up to me faster, knowing that I wasn't going to do anything..." You stepped back, shocked. "I heard her on the phone, this whole time? You mean you faked it this whole time? I don't understand, why would you-" "Please don't be upset with me! I did it for you, I wanted you to relax before we got closer." he explained and you shook your head. "Levi, you're insane." You mumbled and he grabbed your shoulders. "MC. I'm in love with you. Ever since I seen your pictures, I knew I liked you, and getting to spend all this time, so close to you...It's not enough, I need you. I need you to accept me." he begged and you just shook your head. "This is crazy, you lied this whole time, to what? Make me your girlfriend?" He looked ashamed as you shook your head. "I don't like you that way...I have other boys I'm talking you-" "No." He growled. "I won't let you, I worked too hard." He wrapped his arms around your neck, pulling you into him. You closed your eyes as he kissed your forehead. "Promise me, that you're mine...." He hugged you tightly. You shook your head. "No, Levi." You whispered and he started to laugh. You pushed away from his as soon as his hands released you, scared that his personality had switched. You yelped as he grabbed your wrist. He sat himself down in the chair in front of the mirror, pulling you onto his lap, without much effort. He had one arm wrapped around you, keeping your arms at your sides. You of course struggled but it was no use. He sighed, his other hand lifting up your skirt so the two of you could see the reflection of your panties in the mirror. You closed your eyes, not wanting to see yourself so venerable, so paralyzed in fear. He moaned, you yelping as his dick started to harden underneath you. "I refuse to let all of my hard work go down the drain. I won't let you get taken away from me by some fucking piece of garbage. Only one person deserves you and that's me." he growled in your ear. You were shaking, terrified as his free hand slipped underneath the skirt, his fingers dancing along the fabric of your panties. He felt the lips of your pussy through them, a wetness beginning to form. You hated yourself for getting turned on by his hands. His chin rested on your shoulder, kissing the side of your face as he watched himself in the mirror. "Lift your hips up for me~" He whispered into your ear. You were hesitant, but didn't have a choice, lifting yourself up, Levi making quick work of taking himself out of his pants, his dick free, now placed between your legs. Your pussy flooded at the feeling of his thick cock rubbing against the insides of your thighs. He pulled it up closer, urging you to close you legs around him. He then used his hips to push up into you, fucking your thighs, his mouth letting out little grunts as he fucked up into them. You felt so dirty, his precut dripping down the tip of his dick and leaking down onto your thighs. The slickness traveled down in between your legs, offering his cock more lube to go faster. He buried his face into your shoulder, groaning desperately. "Oh my god, you're so soft~Squeeze your legs tighter together." He ordered and you did as you were told, just hoping it would be done quicker. Your pussy was burning at the friction of his dick. You bit your lip, trying to hold in your own moans, you didn't want him to know that there was a portion of you that was really enjoying this, the way he felt, how big he was. You peaked at yourself in the mirror, seeing how much of a mess you were. Levi's eyes were closed, head tipping back as he moved his hips faster. "Fuck! I'm so close." He paused his movements, grabbing your thighs, and forcefully opening them, his hand grabbing your panties and pulling them aside. You started to panic! "Levi no! Not there! Please not there!" You begged, but he kept you held still, as his cock forced itself inside of you. You screamed feeling him bottom out, his dick twitching inside of you, your body not excepting the lack of movement, You needed him to move. You couldn't take it, you shamefully began to wiggle your hips, Levi's arm releasing you, your hands pressing against the mirror in front of you, your hips lifting and dropping onto his cock feverishly. You couldn't stop yourself, you didn't know what you were doing but the pleasure drove your movements. Levi was just as surprised, his face twisted in intense heat. He grunted as he thrusted up into you, meeting your pace. You were a moaning mess, screaming for him like a slut. You were so caught up in the feeling, that you hadn't noticed him pulling out his phone, taking pictures and short videos. When he felt himself again get close, he threw his phone down, giving your ass a hard slap before grabbing your hips, forcefully holding you down onto his cock as his orgasm gushed into you. You struggled against him, your body shaking, tears falling from your face. You looked at yourself in the mirror, completely embarrassed. Levi leaned back in the chair, his head tipped back, his cock still giving your spurts of lust, his cum starting to overflow your pussy, leaking down your legs. You looked over your shoulder at him with exhausted eyes. He smiled at you, giving a light pat to your thigh, "Up baby." he ordered, his voice soft as you struggled to stand. His dick made an obscene sound as you stood up. He tucked it back into his boxers. You whined as he lifted you up, carrying you to his bed. You clasped into the sheets, grabbing one of his pillows instinctively. You hugged it close to your chest, too sore to move. You felt so messy, so slutty. Levi on the other hand was acting as if nothing was happening, turning on his game, sitting on the bed next to you. You whined, getting his attention. He looked back at you, his hand resting on your head, petting your hair, taking out the cat ear clips. "You can get undressed if you'd like. I'm done for now." He explained. You used the last bit of your energy to strip from the outfit he had put you in. Levi looked back at you and smiled. "Sore?" He asked and you nodded. "You'll get use to it. I won't go so hard next time." he explained, making your stomach do flips. He was going to do this again...you really did belong to him. 

hi could you please write about george playing you a song he wrote for you?? thanks xx

pairing: george x reader

summary: george writes a song for you

warnings: none

word count: 770

author’s note: i know this isn't why he wrote here comes the sun, but i took creative license here. also i envision the version of hcts that george brings home is take 9 from the deluxe abbey road!

You wake up earlier than George which isn’t unusual, you rise with the sun. George had even taken on the liberty of calling you his sunshine because of the fact. Every morning you try to step out of bed as silently and lightly as possible, George never usually stirs, the boy could sleep for days if he was allowed.

This morning you wake up and fall into your usual routine of a cup of tea in the living room followed by a walk through the garden. When you come back inside you hear George before you see him, the sound of his soft voice and acoustic guitar drifts toward you on the gentle breeze. As you enter the living area where he sits on the large persian rug between the lounges with a guitar perched on his lap, his eyes seem to light up at your arrival.

“Ah, here comes the sun,” he takes notice of you and the use of the sweet nickname makes you smile uncontrollably. He continues to strum, singing the sounds of the guitar when no lyrics immediately find him.

“Doo da doo doo,” he continues which makes you laugh.

You walk closer to him, settling into the comfort of the lounge as you watch George continue to work sweet notes out of the guitar.

“Here comes the sun and I say, it’s alright,” he pulls the perfect words from the ether and looks right at you as he sings them. Your cheeks warm with the overwhelming love you feel for the man sitting in front of you, singing the loveliest song.

He slows to a stop and moves the guitar to rest on the floor beside him, “Morning, sunshine.”

“Good morning darling,” you say, “That was beautiful.”

He rises and comes to lay with you on the lounge, you move to allow for George to wrap his arms around you as your face presses against his chest. 

“Oh, I’ve missed you,” he sighs. You haven’t actually been separated, not really, but George has been in the studio all year thus far recording what is seeming to be the final Beatles albums. 

“I’ve missed you too Georgie,” you say. 

“Not long till all this Beatle mayhem is done for good,” he says like a promise. 

It takes you a moment to respond, though you feel you should be happy, you’re finally going to have George home with you more often and he’s sure to be in a better state when it’s all over, part of you is sad. It really does feel like the end of an era. 

“How are you feeling about it all?” You ask. 

“Well, it’s bittersweet, but I think I’m just ready,” he says, and you understand completely. George has reached his peak and it’s time for him to depart and work on himself for a while.

A couple of days later you’re getting some tea ready when George arrives home with a tape in hand and a shy look on his face.

“Hello,” you greet him with a big hug and he plants a kiss into your hairline. 

“What’ve you got here?” You ask, holding your hand out. George passes you the tape and smiles, bringing his hand to the back of his neck. 

“I’ve written a song for you,” he says plainly, “Would you like to hear it?”

You glow with this news and you tell him immediately to put it into the tape machine. 

“We just did it today, it’s not finished yet,” he explains, but you wave him off, wanting to hear every single sound.

You recall the sound of the isolated guitar quickly, before George’s voice even has a chance to come in, “This is what you were playing the other morning!” 

“Yes,” he nods, smiling at the triumph in your recognition. 

The line ‘Here come the sun’ followed by the ‘It’s alright’ plays and you can’t hold back your smile. The drums and bass come in and George’s voice continues with lyrics you haven’t yet heard. He’s singing about the horrid winter you’ve just endured, but seeming to say that the sun is here now so it’s alright. The instrumentation is unreal, like no other song you’ve heard before. The time signature is unusual, but you love it. The song closes out with the isolated guitar again.

“George,” you shake your head in wonder.

“The last year hasn’t been easy, but I’ve had you through it all, my sun whose always shining,” he says, expressing so much love through his words. 

“I love you,” are the only three words that find you. 

“I love you too darling.” 

“Little darling?” You grin at your cheesy reference to the lyrics which makes George laugh and pulls you close to hold you.

“Yes, little darling.”

I am *respectfully* begging for a oneshot based off the song Champagne Problems by Taylor Swift🥺

okay let’s have a bit of fun with this mwhaha;

The moon was at full peak.

She was sat in the black canvas of a starry sky, shining down on the party below or at least so you thought she was. The flute glasses glowed under her brightness and bubbled with happiness. The pool was reflecting her image so beautifully. Everyone looked amazing in their gorgeous evening outfits of silk and lace, Gucci and Prada, chatting and laughing away as the night was close to striking midnight.

“Such a lovely party, Y/N.” Another guest thanked you, you not having the faintest idea of who they were.

You and Harry were hosting a dinner party in the back garden of his Malibu palace to celebrate his recent success over this past year. He’d had movie after movie, along with an album and a tour. He had done exceptionally well for himself, so he wanted to throw the most lavish party to celebrate with his friends and family that had helped him through it all. You had been in charge of organising food and a live band, Harry in charge of the guest list, Mitch in charge of decorations - bu really it had been Sarah - and Gemma in charge of the drinks; specifically champagne.

“I’m glad.” You smiled, as you poured yourself another glass of the bubbles. You felt the warmth of someones hand slide onto your exposed back, making you shiver with temptation and love.

“Have I told you just how beautiful you look this evening?” Harry spoke softly against your ear, kissing over the skin where his words had touched you.

He had been showing you off all night, always introducing you as ‘my beautiful girlfriend’ and keeping you close to him whenever he could. He would pull out his wallet and show people the picture he kept of you in there. It was one he’d taken of you laughing as you ran away from him on the beach. Even though the photo was black and white it was obvious how happy you were. He loved having you near and whenever someone said that they hadn’t seen you yet, he knew to go straight to the desserts table and find you shovelling yet another chocolate coated strawberry into your mouth not-so-gracefully.

“You have, but I won’t stop you if you want to do it again.” You replied, quite enjoying the flattering compliments. You’d dressed yourself in a silky evening gown that was in a deep red colour and Harry was having a hard time keeping his hands off of you. The front was v-cut, with the back completely open too, so it left your skin exposed for Harry to treat himself to. You turned around in his hold and pushed your body into his, making him hum in appreciation.

“I can’t stop thinking how much I want to kiss you.” He looked at your lips as he spoke, wanting to stain his own lips with the bold colour you’d painted on yours. You were so delicious and he wanted to devour every inch of you.

“Well what’s stopping you?” You reached a hand up to scrunch his curls under your fingers, the bracelets on your arm sliding down and jingling with another.

“Meet me upstairs in 5 minutes.” He replied, making you furrow your eyebrows in curiosity of what he was playing at.

“Should I ask why?”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t want to answer when my mum is standing just across the room.” He made you both chuckle, before leaning back from you to give you a quick once over. “Wow.” He breathed out, the biggest grin to his face. “5 minutes.”

And then he was gone.

You bit your lip as he rushed straight over to his mum and sister, who were both eagerly smiling at him. You couldn’t help but fall in love with him a little more at the sight. He was so innocent and full of love and happiness, you were so in awe of him and his beautiful qualities.

You did a quick scour of the room, making sure there were no unhappy faces, before heading in the direction of the bathroom to freshen up before visiting Harry. As you walked up the stairs you noticed a conversation between one of Harry’s cousins and one of his American friends, it sounded quite argumentative so you went to make sure everything was alright.

“You both okay?” You asked sweetly, your heels clicking on the floor as you approached them.

“God you’re just everywhere aren’t you?” The friend laughed, but you could tell she wasn’t laughing for a joke.

“I’m sorry?” You asked shocked at her tone, wondering what the problem was here.

“You’re so up in everyone else’s business always.”

“I don’t understand—”

“No of course you don’t. God, I understand why Harry finds you so annoying and clingy.”

“Kia—” The cousin gasped in shock of Kia’s words.

“No, you know i’m right Rachel just be quiet.” Kia shushed Rachel and brought her attention back to you.

“Harry thinks i’m clingy?” You asked, trying to understand what was really going on.

“That amongst lots of other things.”

“He would never. He loves me.” Your argued, slight tears in your eyes from letting her get to you like this. It was different than tabloids because you were actually hearing it from someone’s mouth, rather than an edited and faceless article. It stung so much more.

“And? Did you really think he would ever stick around for someone like you?” Kia laughed and then walked off, strutting her and her perfect body away from you and back to the main party area. You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, trying to understand what her words truly meant to you.

“Y/N…” Rachel tried to console you, but you didn’t want her. You wanted Harry and yet now you didn’t.

“Do you think all that too?” You asked quietly, scared to hear an answer. You got your answer though when she spoke nothing and tilted her head down in shame. You understood. “Okay, thank you.” You quietly said and tried your best to smile, but you knew it didn’t reach your eyes.

You started walking towards the stairs, thinking what this all meant. You always had a back thought that Harry was too good for you, but you just never let yourself be put in the position to think upon that thought. Now though. Now, you were thinking.

Of course you would be naive enough to think that your happily ever after would be with the one man who’s heart could be taken by every other woman on the planet. Even your university teacher had once talked about having a crush on him and he had only been 21 at the time. You never thought here, when he was 27, would you possibly be the one to hold his heart. You did, though, but it wouldn’t be forever - Kia was right, Rachel was right. Everyone knew, but you were just too blinded by his love for you right now to think that it will just wilt away in the future. You were a rose, beautiful and in it’s prime as it flourished on the love it was fed, but after time when even the smallest amounts of love are forgotten to be given the rose wilts and so dies. It’s forgotten about in turn and left to degrade itself into oblivion.

You walked the stairs slowly, completely numb to your core. How could all of 5 minutes turn your emotions 180° and permanently? Your brain ran over the thoughts and little moments that you should’ve picked up on before. Like, when Harry forgot your anniversary and blowing it off that he had been at some work-do but he’d really been at Karlie Kloss’ birthday party. Like, when Harry stopped sending you postcards when he was on tour. Like, when he did that heart-rate test and saw a picture of Camille, looking utterly stunning, on the Victoria Secret runway his heart beat was incredibly high. Is that what he wanted 30 years from now? A model? Someone who was in the same business as him and could understand. You tried to, you really did, but it was starting to feel like maybe you weren’t to be enough.

Making your way down the hallway this way, you couldn’t help but feel like it was for the last time. There was this gut feeling that whatever Harry wanted you for, was going to make sure you were both reminded why you couldn’t be together.

“Damn. You’re a vision.” Harry whistled and you then spotted him at the end of the hallway, the moon shining in through the window and lighting him up like the pure angel he was. You weren’t worthy of his heart. You could only chuckle, not having the passion to make a flirty comment back. Not anymore.

“Listen Harry—” “Okay I have to ask you—” You both talked at the same time, bringing only a nervous chuckle to your face.

“You first.” He offered.

“No, you.” You offered back and he took it.

“Okay, alright.” He breathed in heavily. “You’re so beautiful.” He started, making you blush a little but it was dim up here so you weren’t worried about him noticing. Hopefully he didn’t see the sadness in your eyes either.

“Thank you.” You replied humbly.

“And I want to be able to wake up and tell you that every single day—”

“Harry…” You cut him off, your heart having just dropped so low to the floor.

“Yes?”

“Is this…”

“If you let me continue, yes.” He laughed, thinking that you were happy for him to continue. He was about to, but you cut him off.

“Don’t.” You said, a shake in your voice that was very apparent.

“Don’t— what?” He asked confused, stepping closer to you and only for you to step back. He stopped when he noticed that he would not be able to make distance to you, furrowing his eyebrows and looking hurt. Really hurt. Pain that you and you alone were causing him.

“Don’t ask me the question I think you’re about to.” You held of your hand to both stop him coming closer and to stop him talking. “Just don’t.”

“Baby… what?” Harry asked confused, tears visible in his eyes now. He just wanted to be near you and understand.

“Harry… Don’t make me say it.” You warned him.

“Say what?”

“Harry…”

“Y/N, say what?”

“No!” You shouted, loud enough that people downstairs might’ve heard. “No, Harry. No. I won’t marry you.” You started to cry and let the tears fall freely. You deserved to feel like your heart had been ripped from your chest, the same way you deserved to cry forever. You deserved nothing but pain to repay the damage you’d caused Harry.

“Wha—” He started, but you were too selfish to stick around and watch him crumble. You shot off down the hallway and down the stairs, making your way to the front door. Luckily you didn’t have to go through the masses of people to face the disappointing faces. Luckily no one had to see your cries, except Kia. She was stood by the front door, holding out your coat already as if she were waiting for you.

“Kia what—”

“You thought this evening was for Harry? No. It was for you.” She shoved your coat to you, making you stumble back from the force.

“What?”

“This was your surprise engagement party, with the surprise being the fucking engagement. Everyone knew about it apart from you. He had this plan of asking you and then coming downstairs to everyone yelling surprise. Seems like you fucked that up though.” She sneered at you and your sobs fell from your throat harder than before, your makeup ruining the prettiness of your face as it ran from all the salty tears.

“But you…”

“I what? Said a bunch of bullshit? I was only saying things you’ve heard a million times before. I was making sure you were the right person for our Harry. Seems like you’re far from it.” She chuckled, shaking her head in disappointment at you.

“You’re cruel.”

“No, Y/N, you are. You just did the one thing that I would’ve never done; break Harry’s heart.” She looked at you in disgust before opening the door for you. You gave her one last look, hate in her eyes for you, before you walked outside with the door slamming forcefully behind you. Your heart being left besides Harry’s broken one.

hi! i love your blog! i was wondering if maybe you could write something where y/n and harry just had their first baby and they finally get some time to themselves and she's a little insecure about their first time after the post partum and nervous about her body or how it gonna feels like? thank uu💖

omg thank you 🥺🥺 I'm so sorry this took so long! i hope you like it :)

a very romantic bath for two

warnings: body insecurity, body image issues

word count: 2.8k

You sighed as you inspected your body in the mirror, running your fingers over the raised lines on your tummy and hips. Many of them were new; they had popped up sometime during your second trimester. At the time, you had been too busy worrying about the new life growing inside you and preparing to bring her home to focus too much on what was happening to your body. Even during the last few weeks of your pregnancy when you felt huge most of the time, Harry made sure to remind you constantly how much he loved you and your new body. He would rub your belly all the time, leaning down to kiss it and talk to your baby. He insisted it would help them develop faster once they were born, but you weren't quite sure where he got this "fact". You both knew he just liked being close to you and your baby.

He really hadn't left any room for you to be insecure during your pregnancy. He reassured you every day that you were more beautiful than ever, and he was always showing you how much he liked your new body. He could never keep his hands off you, always wanting to touch and hold you. It even got annoying at times, but mostly you appreciated it, and you were glad he never let your hormones get the best of you. Then, after Stevie was born, you were too busy and exhausted to even think about your appearance. You and harry were barely getting any sleep, and all of your time was devoted to caring for the newest member of your family. It wasn't until now, when Stevie was a little over 3 months old, that things started calming down a bit. She slept through the night most of the time, and you were finally coming out of that sleep deprived haze you had been in. Unfortunately, this gave you time to really look at yourself in the mirror. You had just gotten out of the shower, and Harry was with Stevie in the living room. You tilted to the side, looking at how much bigger your stomach was than before you had Stevie. The skin there was dimpled and soft, much more squishy than it used to be. And the stretch marks. They were everywhere, and much more prominent than they had ever been. You weren't sure if you would ever be able to get back to normal. Your negative thoughts were interrupted by a short knock on the door. You quickly wrapped a towel around yourself before you called, "You can come in!" Harry peaked his head into the room, smiling softly. "Sorry to bother you, but I'm out of wipes. I think there's another pack under the sink?" "No, it's okay, i was done," you smiled, reaching under the sink to grab the package. "Is she okay?" "She's fine, lovie," he smiled softly. "You don't have to feel bad being away for her for half an hour." "I know," you sighed. "But i still do. I hate not being next to her all the time." "Me too, i just want to hold her and never put her down." You nodded, sighing internally at how much you already missed your baby. "Why don't you finish up in here and then we'll make some lunch?" "Sounds good," you said, smiling at him in the mirror. Once the door was closed, you dropped the towel again. You really tried not to be too upset about how you looked, but it was hard. You knew if you told Harry he would just say the same thing, that it was normal and he thought you were beautiful. You didn't think that would help much. So you pulled on your old t-shirt and sweatpants, running a brush through your wet hair before making your way out to the kitchen. "Hi, baby," you smiled, picking Stevie up from the play mat on the floor. "I missed you." She snuggled against your chest, her head leaning on your shoulder as she let out a content little sigh. You leaned down, grabbing Stevie's rattle and putting it back in the toy box before you made your way into the kitchen. "How does spaghetti sound?" Harry asked. "Sounds good," you nodded, settling into one of the chairs at the dining table. you were about to pull off your shirt to feed Stevie, but the image of your prominent stretch marks made you reconsider. "Can you grab me one of the blankets?" You asked, but kept your eyes on Stevie. You knew if you looked up, you would see that sad and confused look on his face as he wondered why you suddenly wanted to cover yourself around him, and you really didn't feel like explaining your newfound insecurities right now. Thankfully, he didn't press for answers. "Sure, love. It's in the nursery?" You nodded, fiddling with the collar of Stevie's onesie to look busy. "Okay, I'll be right back," He gave a small smile before he left the kitchen. "What am i gonna do, hm?" You asked Stevie. She just blinked in response. Harry came back with the blanket, draping it over your shoulders from the front. "Thank you," you said quietly, adjusting the cover so you could pull your shirt up. "Of course, love," he replied, going back to the stove. "I wanted to ask you something, actually." You

hummed questioningly, eyes fixed on Stevie under the blanket. "Well, we just haven't had any time alone since Stevie was born, and my mum is dying to spend some more time with her, so do you think... I mean, only if it's okay with you, maybe we could have my mum take her for the weekend?" You hesitated, your heart suddenly beating much faster. Being away from Stevie for more than a day... of course you knew she would be safe and happy with Anne, but still... the thought made anxiety spike in your chest. Then there was the matter of being alone with Harry. You probably should feel guilty for not wanting to spend time with him, but with the way you had been feeling about yourself lately, you couldn't bring yourself to care. But you also knew refusing this would cause all sorts of problems. It would make both Harry and Anne feel bad, and you really didn't want to upset anyone. So, taking a shaky breath in, you nodded. "We can do that. I just... i don't think I can do more than a day or two." "That's totally fine," Harry reassured you. "I don't want to be away from her for that long either. I was thinking we could drop her off Friday after lunch, then pick her up Saturday evening. Or sometime Sunday if they're really having a good time," he laughed. "They'll have all sorts of fun together, mum might not want to let her go so soon." You smiled at the thought of the pictures you knew Anne would send you. Stevie and her in the garden, Stevie in the stroller as they went for a walk, Stevie in the high chair while Anne baked cookies. "Okay. After supper we can get her stuff together." Harry beamed, coming over to kiss your forehead. "Thank you, baby. And if it gets to be too much, we can pick her up early. We can do whatever you need, okay?" Despite Harry's constant reassurance, you felt no less anxious the next day. You checked and re-checked Stevie's bag, making sure she had enough clothes to last her a week. "Lovie, she's only gonna be there for two days," Harry reminded you gently. "No, I know, but what if she spits up a lot? Sometimes she spits up a whole bunch and then she'll need to be changed, and what if-" "Hey, hey," he cut you off, placing his hands on your shoulders and speaking in a soothing tone. "It'll be alright. She's gonna be fine. She has enough clothes, and everything is gonna be okay." You nodded, taking a deep breath as you looked into his eyes. "Right. She's gonna be fine."

-----

"And the milk is here-" you held up several plastic bags- "I'll put this in the fridge. And to heat it up- wait, you already know how to heat up milk," you laughed nervously. "Um, and her onesies are all in the backpack. I have extras in there- a lot of extras, because sometimes she spits up a lot. And then her diffuser is in there too- we usually put a few drops of lavender oil in there, it helps her sleep. And diapers and wipes and diaper cream are all in the bag, and... oh! Her stuffed bunny. It helps her calm down if she's fussy. And I think... that should be everything," You exhaled, trying to smile at Anne. Harry put his arm around your waist. "Y/N, she knows how to take care of a baby. Look how well i turned out!" Despite how nervous you were, you managed to laugh. "Right. I'm just... I'm sorry, I've never been away from her." "It's alright," Anne smiled reassuringly. "I understand how scary it is to be away from her for the first time. But you can call or FaceTime, or if it's too much you can come pick her up." "Thank you," you sighed. "We should probably get going before i change my mind." Harry nodded, unbuckling Stevie from her carrier. He hugged her to his chest, kissing the top of her head. "I'll miss you so much," he said. "But you'll have so much fun with your grandma. And we'll see you soon, okay?" he kissed her one more time before handing her over to you. "Be good for your grandma, okay? I love you," you kissed her just like Harry had. "I love you so much." Before you could start crying, you handed her to Anne. "Thank you so much for this, Anne," you said. "We really appreciate it." "You're a godsend," harry agreed. "Thank you." "Of course, I'm happy to have her," Anne smiled. "Now shoo, so i can spend some time with her!"

-----

"It's so quiet," Harry said as you walked into the house. "I'm not used to it." "I know," You laughed. "There's no cartoons or baby shark, it's crazy." "Can't say I miss baby shark, though," he shook his head. "I think we need to find a new song for her." You nodded. "It got old really fast." "It did," he laughed. "And now... we can enjoy some peace... and quiet." He stepped closer to you, smiling as he heard your breath hitch. "I was thinking maybe we could have a bath together?" Your heart started thudding faster in your chest, and not for a good reason. "No," you said quickly. Too quickly. Hurt and confusion flashed across his face, and you immediately wanted to take back your words. "I just- I can't," you said quietly, stepping back. "Is there... did something happen?" he asked gently, eyes softening when he realized how close to tears you were. "What's the matter, love?" "Harry, I just can't," you shook your head as tears welled up in your eyes. "I'm sorry. I'm trying but I just can't get back to normal. I look terrible and I have all these stretch marks and everything is just wrong," you cried, bringing up your hands to cover your face. "Baby..." he whispered, moving closer and opening his arms. "Come here." You did as he asked, walking into his arms and leaning against him as you cried. "I just don't want you to see me," you sniffled. "Your body isn't wrong," he shook his head. "Not at all. It might look different than it did before, but that's because it went through something amazing. It gave us Stevie! It- you are perfect. Alright?" You nodded against his chest. "I just... i really don't like the way i look anymore and i don't think you will either." Since your face was pressed against his shirt, you didn't see the way his face dropped. You didn't see how much it hurt him to hear you talk about yourself this way. You felt him inhale a shaky breath before he hugged you tighter. "I'm so sorry you feel this way. I had no idea how much it was bothering you. I want- I want to show you how much I love you. Will you let me show you?" "How?" you said quietly. "Do you trust me?" You hesitated for only a moment before nodding. He smiled, pulling back and taking your hand. He lead you into your bedroom, closing the door behind the two of you. He crossed the room to stand in front of you again, his fingers gripping the hem of your shirt. "Can i take this off?" he asked quietly, keeping his eyes on yours. He must have sensed your hesitancy, because he dropped his hands down to his sides. "It's just me," he reminded you. "We don't have to if you don't want to, though." "No, it's... it's okay," You decided, raising your arms. He smiled gently, tugging the soft material up and over your head. You kept your eyes on him as soon as the shirt was off your head, too apprehensive to look down at your body. "You're so beautiful," he whispered. He hooked his fingers in the elastic of your sweatpants, looking at you again for confirmation. You nodded, allowing him to pull the rest of the clothing off your body and taking his hand to step out of them. He lead you over to the bed, keeping his eyes on yours the whole way. "Lay back," he instructed quietly, watching as you did what he said. He climbed into the bed behind you, settling himself between your legs to meet your eyes. "You're amazing," he smiled. "The most beautiful woman I've ever seen." he brought his hand down to your stomach, and you cringed immediately when he brushed over one of the marks. "It's okay," he soothed. "There's nothing wrong with these. You know what they are?" You shook your head. "They're little marks that remind us of Stevie. They show how strong you are for carrying her, and keeping her safe until she was ready to come out and meet us. And they show how someday, you'll be able to have another baby, and keep him or her safe just like Stevie. Right? That's all they are." He moved down, leaning his head closer so he could press a soft kiss to one of the marks near your hip. "I don't want you to change anything

about yourself," he said, moving his lips over the lines on your tummy. "I love you just the way you are." Tears were welling up in your eyes again, but this time they weren't from anxiety or fear. This time, they were because you felt overwhelmed by your love for him. "Harry..." He looked up, his face falling when he noticed the tears in your eyes. "No, please don't cry," he said, moving back up to hover over you again. "I'm sorry, please don't be upset," he frowned, wiping one of the tears away with his thumb. You shook your head. "That's not why- i just love you so much," you said, trying your best to smile. "I love you too," he smiled back, leaning down to kiss your forehead, then your nose, then your cheeks, and finally, your lips. "I love you so, so much, and I will show you every day if you'll let me," he sighed, moving off you to lay on his side. He kept one hand on your hip, helping you turn over to look at him. "I want you to tell me if you're ever feeling like this again, okay? I want to know so I can help you." "Okay," you nodded, still sniffling a bit. "Thank you." You leaned against him, tucking your head in his neck. "Thank you." "Of course, lovie." He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head. "I want you to always know how loved you are. It doesn't matter how many times I have to remind you; i don't ever want you to feel like this and not tell me. I love you way too much to let you be this sad." "I will," you promised. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner." "it's okay," he soothed, running his hand up and down your back. "Do you think... it's okay if you're not ready yet, but do you think we could try taking a bath?" This time, you barely even hesitated before answering. "I think we can try," you nodded. "We can even turn off the lights if you want, just light a few candles," he mused, his face pressed gently against your hair. "It's more romantic that way anyways." "That sounds good," you laughed. "Come on then," he said, sitting up. "One very romantic bath for two, coming right up."

Leave Me Lonely p.2 - The Darkling x Reader

Part 1 is here 😝 also there’s so many song requests and majority are Ariana Grande and I’ve never been a fan of her but omg some of the songs you guys requested are absolutely amazing so I think I kinda like her now

He wasn't waiting at the gates for you nor was he in your shared chambers when you returned, your rugged appearance only alarming to the Healers as Ivan basically carried you through the Little Palace halls. You were blind by the rage bubbling inside of you and numbed by the humiliation seeping deep into your bones.

Not only was it because of the hushed whisper fight back in the camp where he didn't hold back on his jabs or his volume, but now he left you to hang, blatantly ignoring you and prioritizing a girl over his partner in a potentially fatal attack. It was bound to let loose a million and one different rumors, rumors where you suffered the most. No Grisha would dare blame their General, and no matter how much respect they had for you, you were always going to be the scapegoat. It happened before and will happen again, but this time you had a fleeting suspicion he wouldn't defend you.

My heart has had enough, of the give and take

The urge to cry was overwhelming as you shed your clothing and slipped into the scorching bath. Your muscles and bruises ached from the fighting and horseriding but you hurt the most.

Today wasn't the first time you let tears slip out because of Aleksander, in fact, you only ever cry because of him. You loved him so much, yet all that came from your relationship lately was heartache and pain. One good day without a fight equaled days of unrest and tensions. You were exhausted and drained, nothing made you happy anymore. It was as if he was sucking the joy out of your life but simultaneously was the only thing to give you joy.

Danger, how you hold me.

The sweet nothings he whispered into your ear as you fell asleep, the talks of a better future where he spoke of marrying you, even something as small as holding your hand while walking through Palace gardens. It all made you smile and set the memories into the concrete of your mind, holding onto them when times got tough.

But now times were tough, they were at a peak and the good memories were replaced by all the bad ones. You tried to fight them, tried to fight the horrible voice in your head that screamed as loud as it could: Let him go.

The bawling started then and never ceased. The water got cold but you didn't seem to care that you were shaking from the temperature, or were you shaking from the realization you would have to end it with Aleksander? You didn't know. Only when a knock sounded on the door did you momentarily stop.

'Ms.Y/L/N, Should I send in the Healer to finish working on you?' a maid questioned.

'In a minute.' You cringed at your voice, it was raw and croaky from your fit of sobs. You got up and grabbed the black robe, securing it on your body before opening the door and letting the Healer do his job. Usually, the itching would annoy you, but this time you paid it no mind as you reflected on your situation.

He finished working on your leg in a matter of minutes and excused himself just as another maid brought in your dinner. You ate alone in the confines of your bedroom, your hair still wet and donning his robe. There was no energy in you to get dressed or to move to the bed to sleep your tiredness off. You wouldn't until he got here.

You needed to put yourself first, to set your foot down and demand his attention. You wanted to be the old Y/N, the one before Aleksander got to you. She was kind and sweet, a humble orphan, never feared by anyone, and good at her job. You hoped you could be her again, hoped that Aleksander's smooth words wouldn't wind you in again and chop a piece of you away.

The doors finally opened and his boots echoed along the hardwood floors.

'You're back.' He came up to you and kissed the top of your head where your hair was now perfectly dry. Before today you would've thought it was a sweet gesture, an endearing kiss to show his love, but now you saw it for what it was: routine.

He continued further into the room, not noticing your tear-stained face or puffy eyes.

'I brought the Sun-Summoner before the King today, I have his permission to train her, it's as if he thought I cared for his opin-' He paused, eyes finally taking you in. You stared out the window in front of you, the same place you had been looking at for hours. He took note of the scrapes on your hands and bruise on the side of your temple, but what garnered his interest was the look of pure melancholy on your face.

'Y/N?'

'You left me there, left all of us'

'What?' He was taken aback.

'There were four times as many of them as there was us and you left.' Your voice was void of any emotion.

'There was plenty of Grisha with you, Ivan was there. Besides, they would have fled knowing I was there.'

'You're not getting it, I was there.' That's all that should matter to you. 'They didn’t flee. I almost died Aleksander. You told me to give my kefta to her and it almost cost me my life.'

'She's the Sun-Summoner.'

'I don't care.' You spit with venom so strong he flinched but stayed quiet but you continued, letting the ball drop. 'I'm leaving the Little Palace. Station me somewhere around the borders. It's for the best.'

As soon as the words left your lips another wave of pain washed over you. How were you supposed to live without him? My love knows no bounds, and it yearns for a man that doesn't care for me.

'You're leaving me?'

'It's for the best.' You repeated and looked away from him, not being able to stand his poised face and calm composure. He was supposed to be upset, shout and scream for you to stay, but he looked....normal.

‘I’m sure the Second Army could do with a skilled soldier on one of the fronts. I’m no good rotting here in the palace.’

He stayed silent and as the seconds ticked by, it was visible his demeanor was falling apart.

'The best for me or you?' There it was, denial. The slight edge to his voice and the flexing of his hands, perhaps even the glisten to his eye.

'Don't do this, don't turn this around on me Aleksander. I have spent the majority of these last few months crying because of you. I have nobody to turn to, all my friends are scared me, they fear me and it's all your fault.' You wiped the tears as they rolled down your face with the sleeve of his black robe. 'I can't do this anymore.'

'You can't just up and run.' Is he upset about his best soldier leaving or me leaving?

'What else am I to do?'

'You don't have to leave the Palace' He took small steps towards you, the reality of the situation hitting him.

'I do. For if I stay I'll see you around and I'll hurt even more. Please, let me go.' You went back to staring out the window because if you had to look at his devasted face, you would crumble.

He kneeled down beside you and tried to grasp your hands but you pulled away. Out of the corner of your eyes, you could see his head drop in defeat. You wanted to reach out, hug him, tell him you're staying, put a stop to his sadness but that voice screamed again: Put yourself first. You're the one who's been hurting to make sure he's okay.

'I'll stay in a spare room from now until I leave'

The chair squeaked as you stood up, but Aleksander stayed put. You went to leave, to put all this behind you and start fresh, bring the old Y/N back, but a whisper pulled you back. With your forehead resting against the cool of the door, you resisted the urge to turn around.

'I love you Y/N.'

'I know, I love you too'

I'd rather you leave me lonely, even though it hurts

You're a dangerous love

---------

Taglist

@aleksanderwh0r3 @theonelittleone @searching-for-gallifrey @lostysworld @0-artemis @exo-1204 @staradorned @bookfrog242 @simp-for-ben-barners @keepdaydreamingbb @acciorudolphx @pansysgirlfriend @pansysgirlfriend @justmesadgirl

Things I loved about In the Heights

-The sounds of the city are part of the music of the opening song

-The frame story is the only way this story should be told; the story only works if it shows the results of Usnavi's decision to stay

-Anthony and Lin shaking hands

-Yay to random mixed race couple asking for directions

-“I hope you’re writing this down I’m gonna test you later” only makes sense with kids

-Showing different residents of Washington Heights provides scale

-I’m not sure about the decision to cut Camila, but if it means less Nina drama, then I love it

-I love how Usnavi has his friends’ orders all ready to go

-LOVE how Usnavi announces Benny’s entrance

-Everything about Vanessa in this movie is perfect=> she’s given so much more depth, her beauty is downplayed, she’s kind of a nerd, but has a beautiful smile

-Nina’s heels=> metaphor for her reaching for the stars

-I love the actress that plays Nina; she’s the right age and her singing voice is so sweet

-Nina’s hair is straight when she’s at school; as soon as she comes home, it’s curly=>she can be herself at home

-When Nina turns around and sees the crowd of people counting on her=> I felt that

-I love seeing Nina get her acceptance letter; I remember what that was like for my brother

-Camila must have died while Nina was at college in this version; Nina lost her mother recently which helps explain her different reason for dropping out; she feels lost

-I don’t know why Sonny is using this deep voice, but I love it!

-Whoever decided to have 96,000 take place at the pool is a genius

-The graphics at the beginning of 96,000 are good for helping regular people understand the rap

-Pete just put his arm around Sonny=> are they dating?

-Sonny yelling 96,000 as he enters the pool=> the sound design

-Pete nodding along to Usnavi=> sucking up to the family

-Usnavi is such a proud cousin-uncle during Sonny’s part in 96,000

-Vanessa making her “I'll be downtown” walk down a ramp

-The dancer doing flips is now a diver doing spins into the pool

-On stage, the lighting was dark; in the movie, it’s underwater

-The circles of people in the pool reflect the zeros in 96,000

-Lin and Chris being rivals is perfect; their bromance is everything

-Nina and Benny being together before the events of the movie means they are the beta couple and have less drama than Usnavi/Vanessa which is how it should be

-Benny joins in during “on that fire escape”=> like West Side Story

-Benny’s “Let me in” against the fence is hilarious

-Nina and Benny are FUN, not angsty like in the original

-Nina following the little girl=> following herself, following her dreams which eventually lead her to the sea; all of this is done while she’s talking about her past

-Nina and Benny instrumental™ part 1 in the middle of “When You’re Home”, Benny interrupts=> their story isn't complete yet

-Benny says he believes in her without discounting her feelings

-Everyone loving Nina=> I finally get it

-Nina is home geographically and with people who love her

-Benny is Nina’s home

-In the Heights is about how dreams are great, but the life you have now can be so beautiful

-Nina’s hair during the dinner/club scene is great

-Usnavi is wearing his dad’s hat for his date with Vanessa; he knows that she is to him what his mom was for his dad

-Family dinners are the same in every culture

-Awkwardness of long-time friends going on a date

-Vanessa offers Usnavi his first drink of the night; he thinks that’s what she wants; because why would she want him and only him?

-Usnavi whispering in Vanessa’s ear is so sexy

-Love that Benny is on Nina’s side instead of being mad at her

-I wonder if they thought 5 years of Benny working for Kevin was too much or too little since they changed that line to "all these years"

-Benny’s reactions to Vanessa dancing at the club are hilarious

-Vanessa laughing at Usnavi dancing with someone else

-Nina is always smiling and laughing at the things going on around her; not as self centered

-Nina and Benny dancing at the club=> all of the yeses

-Usnavi is too nervous about being alone with Vanessa that he un-dated himself; he wasn’t quite ready

-Love that they consciously cut all the “Usnavi, help me” parts=> Vanessa is not a victim

-Fireworks are a romantic setting for Sonny and Pete, just saying

-Usnavi/Benny/Nina talking about the fourth member of their square gives me feelings; I need more of these four in fanfic, my dreams

-“I got to wait for Vanessa”=> the stuff dreams are made of

-Benny is such a good person; he’s even better than the original which is what he deserves

-Usnavi is relieved to have Vanessa call his name

-“Don’t walk away from us tonight”=> great addition

-To give Usnavi and Vanessa some of Nina and Benny’s original lines is to see the face of God

-The first time I saw this, I’m ashamed to admit, I thought Benny was going to steal money from the dispatch; I was a fool

-Dancer with fireworks on his shoes

-Benny is smart and good; he isn’t doing this for Kevin or Nina but for the people of New York

-Abuela was able to see stars again on the last night of her life

-I’m sad Blackout isn’t exactly the same but the orchestral parts that cover up what is unsaid is so beautiful it makes up for it

-Abuela’s family is her “fireworks”; they are what light up the Heights

-Sonny came to Usnavi instead of being with his dad during the blackout; his real family

-Abuela’s smile as she looks at her family while reflecting on her childhood is the most beautiful thing there will ever be

-Paciencia y Fe as a dream sequence is how it was meant to be

-The transition on the subway from reality to memory

-Paciencia y Fe is a mixture of cultures; like Abuela’s memories

-“Wide awake”=> stepping off the subway

-The same actress played Abuela on Broadway and in the movie

-Abuela may be in a musical, but she’s still an old woman

-“As I feed these birds”=> back to the present

-Calor means heat in Spanish but in English it sounds like color

-Abuela dying during the night of the blackout is perfect

-Usnavi saying “she was just here” twice: when she was literally just there and many years, maybe a decade, after the fact

-Usnavi’s daughter is the life that goes on after Abuela is gone

-Usnavi and Nina crying together

-Those closest to Abuela are inside and everyone else is outside

-Iris was sitting on the outside and now she’s in the middle; needed comfort from her friends

-“Should we take a break?”=> we’re past the point of an intermission

-“No daddy, keep going”=> does this look like a stage production to you? It’s a fucking movie

-There isn’t a clear point for an intermission; the action stays strong over where the intermission should be; this is a movie, not a play, and movies don’t have intermissions

-Everyone’s holding candles; like the stars Abuela loved so much

-Iris called Usnavi Daddy for the first time because that was the point in the story where he needed to hear that the most

-“I thought about the people I care about the most, I thought about you”

-Anthony makes Usnavi sexy in a way Lin never could

-So many people love Vanessa, but no one better than Usnavi

-Abuela paid to have Camila's napkins cleaned after all

-Usnavi is the kind of parent that doesn’t sugarcoat life

-Vanessa listed no emergency contacts even though she had people

-“That’s senorita to you”=> yes girl, get it

-Love Daniela for getting everyone out of their asses

-“Tonteria” means foolishness=> the more you know

-How fast Carla says no to “ask me why” shows how quickly she wants to please her love

-Usnavi’s Nueva York t-shirt=> I need it

-Daniela’s first effect being on a woman whose hair is terrible

-Carla pushing that man away from her woman with a bullshit excuse

-My friend was laughing at the parts that were meant to be jokes

-Usnavi’s entrance being announced in Carnaval del Barrio; just like Benny in the opening song

-“There’s nothing holding me down”=> assuming he was rejected

-The different communities dancing with their flags

-Nina being part of Carnaval del Barrio is great

-Even Kevin, kind of an old man, can get down

-Since Nina and Benny sex scene wasn’t shown on screen (praise Jesus), I have to assume Nina told Daniela even though she knows she’s a huge gossip

-Everyone stops because Sonny, a kid, starts singing

-Vanessa and Sonny are so powerful together

-Vanessa’s hand on Sonny’s shoulder

-A kid providing Usnavi with the “flag I’ve got in my hand”

-Usnavi and Vanessa dancing together is muy romantico

-Everything about Nina’s appearance in “When the Sun Goes Down”

-“Let me just listen to my block”=> peak Nina

-Abuela wrote “for Usnavi” on her lotto ticket 😭

-They cut so many songs but kept Champagne=>I love their priorities

-The pause before “you outta stay”

-Everyone has such great chemistry; especially Usnavi and Vanessa

-The choreography in Champagne is what I’ve always imagined

-Usnavi didn’t have time to cash in because Vanessa came over

-Vanessa and Pete friendship for the win

-“Best days of my life” is said thrice=> good things come in threes

-Usnavi staring at the room where Vanessa kissed him

-Iris knows he stayed; she loves her dad so much

-Usnavi looking out his window in Washington Heights and seeing his friends on his dad’s beach

-When Usnavi talks about Kevin at the dispatch, the camera flashes to an abandoned building

-“Vanessa at the salon”=> Usnavi sheds a tear

-Vanessa being front and center during Usnavi’s decision to stay

-Hearing the sounds of the beach during the unveiling

-It’s all about Vanessa=> perfection

-Lin being at the ending is perfect no matter the context

-“Say it so it doesn’t disappear”=> the sad reality is your neighborhood probably will disappear

-Usnavi telling his daughter “you’re it” is everything

-Iris understanding all of the little details of her father’s store now that she knows his story

-Iris is the goddess of the rainbow like the light that appears when water appears on a sunlit day

-“Man, you talk forever”=> that’s so “How I Met Your Mother”

-Iris has a necklace of seashells, like the islands

-Vanessa would sooner get wet than let go of Usnavi’s hand

I do have a few prompt Ideas if you’re looking for something!

This one is a favorite of mine, going off of the Ultimate Musician Kokichi thing, is that I think he’d make songs similar to Bo Burnham or Zalinki, they’re both very controversial artists as in their lyrics and make you laugh but also send you spiraling into an existential crisis, practically making you feel guilty for laughing in the first place. Songs like Art is Dead or Peachy & Music for Sad People represent this. Just imagine people finding out Kokichi is the Ultimate Musician, and going to one of his concerts due to him jokingly teasing everyone about coming to see them, being surprised when they actually show up and making sure to put on his best show for them, his class would also be awe struck because oh my god he can sing deep, and is actually really good at it (ofc he’s an Ultimate)

Another idea relating to music is Ultimate Vocalist Kokichi and Ultimate Lyricist Shuichi. Alone they can make very phenomenal work, enough to garner the attention of Hopes Peak Academy, but when they work together they make absolute masterpieces. With Shuichi writing lyrics on the level of Bo Burnham (again) and Hamilton, Kokichi can just sing off of those lyrics with a voice inspired from when in Adventure Time, Finn had a voice box installed in his throat, it’s basically like that but absolutely natural and no voice box. Can’t help but think about Kokichi and Shuichi singing together and others finding out “Holy fucking shit this slaps” and realize how great they work together.

One more idea is their fan-child would be the Ultimate Composer or something of that matter that would instigate the timing of the melody and such, so that when all 3 worked together, their songs would reach top spots in their country leaderboards for most popular songs, but maybe I’m just over exaggerating lol

Thats all I got for now, and I am thinking about writing a fan-fic on your space fae au, keep up the god work!💖

i love this. the ult musican thing was def a autocorrect funk on the post in question but i'm glad you were able to see that and go wild with it.

i also think it's funky you brought up shipkids cause i actually do have one of my own for them and he's the ult Violinist, it's for normal saiouma tho