#I mean I wasn't even that invested but I want the media I watch to have happy endings as real life is depressing enough
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Creloise University AU
this is a excerpt from God, I'm Actually Invested (how did that happen?) which I have posted over on AO3!
Eloise shoved her silenced phone into the deep recesses of her tote bag; in the few days that had passed since her concussion and the failed Bridgerton sibling dinner, Penelope Featherington had been relentless in trying to contact her. She had emailed, texted, rang, messaged and even went so far as creating new social media accounts (which were promptly blocked) and she had also enlisted Eloise's siblings for help. Francesca had remained steadfastly loyal but both Daphne and Benedict had messaged her in an effort to convince her to talk to Penelope. It had been a nightmare trying to avoid her, the other day she even spotted the redhead waiting outside her lecture. Luckily she had been able to spot her in time and leave out of the back door but it had made traversing campus increasingly hard. So this morning, Eloise was taking a much needed break. She had no classes on Wednesdays, so she had gone for a morning walk upon which she had discovered a busy little coffee shop in a part of town she’d yet to explore. Here she had ordered an oat chai latte and pain au chocolat, food and drink secured, she managed to snag a corner table from a couple who were just leaving- no mean feat it seemed, for the shop was full to the rafters- and pulled out her book.
It had been barely a few minutes before she was interrupted.
“Bridgerton, who knew you had such taste?”
She looked up and was greeted with the sight of Cressida Cowper, standing over her table and gesturing to the book she was holding. Eloise placed it down in front of her, eyebrows raised in disbelief, partially because it seemed like Cressida Cowper was deliberately speaking to her and also because- “You’ve read it?”
“Is that so hard to believe? I read.” Cressida’s eyes narrowed over her takeaway paper cup.
“Well- I guess I didn't know you liked reading.” How could she know? Cressida didn’t like her. Usually she went out of her way to avoid Eloise and now for some unknown reason here she was striking up pleasant- or at least something adjacent to pleasant- conversation.
“Did you know she went here?” Cressida ploughed on, “To Cambridge?”
“I did, and if I wasn't reading this for the third time I might be mad at you for spoiling it.” Eloise couldn’t help but jab, her bafflement growing when Cressida boldly took the empty seat across from her. What is happening right now?
“It’s a wonderful book, isn't it? I rather believe every woman should read it-”
“I don’t mean to be rude,” Eloise, who was now briefly entertaining the idea she had somehow wandered into a parallel universe, cut in, “But do you want something?”
Cressida glanced quickly over her shoulder, before leaning forward and hissing, “Can you at least pretend to be interested in my conversation?”
Eloise leaned in and hissed back, “Cressida, I really have no idea what's going on, so unless you wish to enlighten me-”
“The man by the counter in the purple jacket was hitting on me the whole time I waited for my tea, so I told him you were here for me.” The words tumbled from Cressida’s mouth almost as if she were embarrassed by them, “Please just let me sit here until he leaves, then I’ll be out of your hair.”
Eloise glanced over towards the counter and sure enough, a man in a purple jacket was just picking up his coffee. He had an unpleasant, greasy look about him and Eloise took an immediate dislike to the man- though to be fair that wasn’t unusual for Eloise when encountering men.
“Why didn’t you just tell him to bugger off?” She asked, looking back at Cressida, “Or hit him with your-” Eloise made a face and brought her fingers up by her eyes to mime tiny little laser beams coming from them,”-laser vision.” Eloise had watched grown men wither under Cressida’s glare more than once at many of the weird, stuffy, old fashioned events their parents insisted on dragging them along to. It was perhaps the single faucet of Cressida she actually held a teeny little bit of admiration for.
Cressida rolled her eyes, “Because I kind of know him. He’s the son of a business associate of my father’s.”
“Right.” Eloise conceded, perhaps a teeny bit disappointed she wouldn't have the pleasure of witnessing Cressida’s glare causing Mr Purple Jacket’s balls to back crawl up inside him.
Mr Purple Jacket took that exact opportunity to grace them with his highly unwanted presence, “Ladies,” He arrived in front of their table and nodded in what he probably thought was a gentlemanly manner, though it came off quite smarmy in Eloise’s opinion. “Cressida, I know you are meeting with a friend,” He nodded at Eloise, who thought he was doing a rather swell impression of those little bobble headed dolls truckers often stuck to their dashboards. “But I was hoping, before I go that I might get-”
“I’m sorry but who are you?” Eloise (who sensed where this was going) cut him off abruptly.
“My apologies, I am Roland Burbank, an acquaintance of Cressida’s.” He offered his hand to Eloise, who left it to hang in the air until he gave up and lowered it to wipe his palm nervously on his jeans. “I was hoping to-”
Eloise cut him off again, “I’m sure you were, but you see I was rather hoping you wouldn’t.”
“Oh?” Mr Purple Jacket looked rather taken aback and Eloise continued before he could try to embarrass himself further.
“As you can see, Cressida is otherwise occupied-”
“Eloise!” Cressida’s quiet reprimand held undertones of shock but lacked any true vexation. Eloise took Cressida’s hand from where it was resting on the table and squeezed it gently in an effort to communicate to the other girl she needn't worry.
“-so I think it’s probably best you give up now, don’t you?” She finished.
“My apologies, I didn't realise-” Mr Purple Jacket stumbled over his words as he nodded yet again. Perhaps he could take up a career as one of those dolls, Eloise thought as she watched him hastily begin his retreat. At the very least he could earn a fortune doing impressions at birthday parties.
“Lovely to meet you, Ronald!” Eloise called after him as he hurried out of the coffee shop. They managed to contain their laughter until the door swung shut on his purple back. “Honestly the audacity men have,” Eloise shook her head when they were able to catch their breath again.
They sat for a moment, each nursing their drink, before Cressida gestured to the book, “It really is a favourite of mine,” she said, “right at the end, when her aunt tells her her grandfather cancelled his plans in case she came by, and then that she's counting the hours until Tara arrives- it makes me cry every time.”
Eloise was taken aback by the admission, “Me too.” She admitted.
“Thank you, for getting rid of Roland.” Cressida had pulled the cardboard sleeve off her tea and was slowly pulling apart the layers, “I was afraid if I was frank with him he might go crying to his father and that it could affect my fathers business. Though, I suppose he still could.”
Eloise waved her concern away, “If he does, just blame me.”
“Well I don’t think I’ll have to worry about him again, I think my father told his I was ‘available’.” She shuddered slightly and began shredding the cardboard.
“And you’re not?” Eloise asked, picking up her mug.
“Certainly not for him.”
“A tragedy, really, you could have had the most beautiful maroon babies.”
Cressida threw a wadded up piece of cardboard at her head and Eloise ducked out of the way, laughing.
#creloise#cressida cowper#eloise bridgerton#eloise x cressida#fanfic#creloise fanfic#University au#modern au#long post
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Why is it that every time I'm looking forward to a new season of a show (which rarely happens in the first place these days), they manage to completely fuck it up in a way that I don't even want to watch the new season anymore?
#I'm so glad that I looked up spoilers because there's no way I wanna watch that#and it would have been horrible going in blind#this is about d.ead to me btw#(I don't want this to show up in the tag bc spoilers so if you don't want to get spoiled don't read on)#I didn't even have any particular expectations for this last season#I didn't necessarily needed them to end up romantically together and I wasn't expecting it#I just wanted a relatively good ending#I mean I wasn't even that invested but I want the media I watch to have happy endings as real life is depressing enough#and I know it is a dark comedy but come on#the ending could have been in some way dark without killing off one of the main characters#which of course is the sapphic one#I'm so sick of the sapphic characters always dying#I thought we left that behind us#urgh#I was in the middle of a rewatch to prepare for the new season#but I guess I'll never watch another episode of that show again now that I know the ending#a pity#and sorry for the ramble I just had to let this out
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easiest conversation ⋆ carlos sainz
pairing: carlos sainz x fem!oc (named Angelique)
tropes: strangers to lovers
summary: carlos and angelique sat next to each other in a tennis match in monaco, leading to an endless conversation.
a/n: english is not my first language, sorry for the mistakes and poor storytelling. maybe a part 2 if you like it?
masterlist
Everybody was focused on Carlos' future in Formula 1, he tried so hard to not be worried about it, but every thing he does, the media somehow made it about his career as a driver. So, at the end, he couldn't do anything except being worried too. Many what ifs were in his mind anytime he thought about it.
The past weekend wete the Masters of Montecarlo, a tennis match, and taking advantage of the fact that he was in the city and most of he's teammates were also watching it, he attended as well.
Carlos didn't have the opportunity to talk to any of them, they were seated in different places in the public. Either way, seeing George, Charles and even Lando with their partners made him feel a little bit more miserable than he already felt. No seat and no girlfriend, that's not a very cool situation to be involved.
And there's even more, he doesn't even know a shit about tennis. He played paddel a few times with Lando, but tennis? He had no idea. So he just sat there, gasping when other people gasp and checking his phone once in a while.
"You seem lost," someone said.
Carlos lifts his head that exact moment, connecting looks with a light brunette that was looking at him above her sunglasses.
"Are you talking to me?" he asked, totally confused. Since when that woman was sitting by his side?.
"Yes. You look bored, maybe you just need someone to explain tennis in a cool way," she smiled. A beautiful smile.
Carlos also smiled a bit, in a weird way. Sometimes he forgots that there's people who can effortlesly talk to strangers in a cool and mysterious way. This woman was one of them.
"Yeah, sure. If you can,"
"If I can?" she seemed dramaticly offended. "You don't think a woman can explain tennis to you, man?"
"Oh, no, no, no. I didn't mean it in that way," he said quickly. "Please, go ahead."
She smiled and started explaining all about tennis in the most interesting and funny way possible.
"How do you know so much about tennis?" he asked.
"Well, I'm a tennis player," she explain. "I thought it was obvious."
Carlos noded a bit, noticing a few mobile phones and cameras pointing at them. He didn't realised it until now, and now he was wondering how many pictures and videos of him and that woman would be around the media.
"Uh, well... I mean, I have no idea about tennis," he said, nervously.
"Yeah, I could tell that," she laughed and she infected Carlos with the laughter. "I'm Angelique, by the way."
"Beautiful name. I'm Carlos," they shaked hands with smiles in their faces. He saw some redness on Angelique face after he complimented her. "So you are a tennis player?"
"Yeah." she simply answered.
"Are you good?" Carlos didn't want the conversation to die.
"I try to be," she said. "I'm fifth in the Women's Tennis Association, I don't know if that's enough for you."
Angelique pursed her lips, making a funny face that made Carlos smiled.
"That sounds really good," he said, truly impressed. They were both athletes, maybe that's why it feels so easy to talk to her.
"What about you?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.
"I'm a race driver,"
Angelique raised even more her eyebrows and wide-opened her eyes "Ok, that is so fucking cool!" she remarked. "Which team do you drive for?"
"Ferrari, but..."
"No way! That's even cooler!" she boasted. "I mean, I have no idea about Formula 1. But Ferrari? That is cool guy material, undoubtedly"
Carlos was too invested in Angelique's voice and eyebrow game that wasn't able to tell her that he isn't staying in Ferrari for too long. But they've just met, and being unemployed isn't something to say to someone right off the bat.
He realised that it was the first conversation in a while that he didn't have to mention anything about his future in Formula 1, another reason of him being this comfortable around Angelique.
"And, how did you became a tennis player?" Carlos asked, leaning a little bit to her.
Now, she was focusing on the ball and the movements of the players.
"My brother used to use me as a ball picker when he played tennis, then he broke his arm and I kept his racket," she explained without divert her eyes from the field.
"He stopped playing tennis after that?"
"Well, yes. When he could come back, he was too old and unexperience to achieve something," she said. "But he wasn't very good anyways."
They both laughed and Angelique take off her sunglasses so she could see Carlos better.
"Have you won something in tennis?" he curiously asked.
"Yeah, of course. Matchs and all those things,"
"Have you beaten Serena Williams?" he wondered, with a smirk.
"Not yet," she admited. "But I've won against people who beat Serena."
She smiled proudly. The match was about to end, and none of them were paying attention to it.
"Okey, that's pretty awesome," he said.
She crossed her legs and accomodated her long brown hair to one side, which left Carlos eyeing her in a romantic way.
"And you? How someone decides that he wants to drive really fast cars?"
"My father has been involved in motorsports for a long time,"
"It's always a family thing, don't you think?" she said. "It is hard to find someone who started in sports by themselves."
"It is!" Carlos agreed with her.
He was going to say something else, but they announce the end of the match, everybody standed up to give an applause. Both of them copied the rest of the people.
"Wait, who won?" Carlos asked, totally confused.
Angelique lean into him, whispering "I've no idea,"
They laughed and kept applausing. That was the end of the match and the end of their conversation. Angelique's agent rapidly came to her to take some pictures with the winner.
"Wait, wait," she insisted to her agent and then walked close to Carlos. "It was lovely talking to you, Carlos,"
"Same, Angelique. You seem an interesting person," he complimented. Carlos was willing to ask her for her number, or something.
"Are you coming to the finals tomorrow?" she asked, praying for a yes.
"I don't think so... I have a race soon in China,"
"Oh," she seemed disappointed. "Well, good luck for your race and..."
"Can I asked you for your number?" he said unexpectedly.
"Yes!" she realised that maybe she was too effusive, so she lower her tone. "I mean, yeah, sure. If you want."
Carlos laughed and Angelique did it too, in a more ashamed way. He gave her his phone so she could write her number.
"There you go," she said and her agent was already near her to leave the match. "Text me!"
Carlos laughed and waved at her, when he looked at his phone, he could do anything but laughed again. Angelique saved her as "That cute girl from the tennis match".
He wondered what was about that girl that made her so unique and easy to talk to her. Carlos didn't think about it very much, instead, he texted her right after she left the field.
#carlos sainz#f1#f1 fanfic#f1 x reader#formula 1#carlos sainz x reader#carlos sainz jr#carlos sainz x female reader#carlos sainz x oc#carlos sainz one shot#carlos sainz imagine#formula 1 one shot#cs55#cs55 x reader#cs55 fic#cs55 fluff#f1 fluff#f1 x you#noraverse 🫧
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—everything is orange. [ i ]
pairing: lando norris x kpop idol! reader
summary: a racecar driver who needed a fake girlfriend to dispel rumors and a kpop idol who needed publicity for her song. somewhere in between orange cars and orange sunsets, stands something they're afraid of naming.
author's note: i wont take tags for this im sorry 😭 also, i changed the faceclaim
masterlist.
The room is dimly lit. You didn't like dim lighting. It reminds you of your childhood bedroom. A barely functioning lightbulb hanging on the ceiling, your mother never bothering to change it. You were too short to change it yourself. You asked your neighbor once to do it for you but he had asked for a night with you in exchange so you kicked him out of the house before he could change the light bulb. You chose to study under the sucky light which became the reason behind your poor eyesight today.
You sit on a chair across Atty. Kim Jin Hwang, HAN entertainment's legal representative and one of the best lawyers Seoul has to offer, with a table dividing the two of you. He’s a man in his fifties, quite close to the age of retirement. He’s a veteran and despite his age, his mind is still sharp.
You refrain yourself from tapping your foot against the floor anxiously. Anxiety does not look good on you and you refuse to show people that you're anxious. Anxiety is weakness so you keep your posture straight and make sure to keep eye contact with Atty. Kim. If you look away first, you're a coward.
“Tell me honestly. Is this you in the pictures?” Atty. Kim Jin Hwang points at the pictures sprawled across the table. They’re blurry and grainy and incredibly zoomed in. You can't even tell it was you from some angles. You look quite different from the person that you were when you were sixteen. HAN Entertainment is particularly fond of investing in their idol’s plastic surgeries and while they only fixed your crooked teeth, removed the hump on your nose bridge, altered your uneven ears, bleached your skin, and plucked your brows—which are quite minor changes—you still hold very little resemblance to the teenage you.
You grew up well. Thankfully, you inherited only the best parts of your parents. Or at least, the best parts of your Mom. You have no idea what your father looked like, only knowing that he was from Brazil or some country in South America.
“Yes,” you answer immediately, not bothering to lie. What is the point of lying anyway? People have been calling you all sorts of malicious names across different social media platforms and you’re sure Atty. Kim has seen some of them. There’s no point lying to his face and saving your image anymore. Might as well admit that you are exactly the kind of person they’ve been yapping about. An illegal driver. A criminal.
“Why did you do it?” Atty. Kim asks and truthfully, you did not expect the question. You expected the what and how and where and when but never the why question. You fall into a thoughtful pause.
“I was sixteen,” you shrug your shoulders, almost uncaringly so. “I wanted to leave home as early as I could and to do that, I needed money. Nobody wanted to accept student part-timers and I tried doing stuff like tutoring and doing other people’s assignments but it wasn't enough. I have a friend who joins street races. He’s not a good driver but he’s got a good car. He really wants to win so he cheated and let me drive his car on the condition that if I win, he’ll split me the winner’s money. I did it. I won races in that car, acting as if he was the one driving it.”
Atty. Kim gives you a long look. You don’t know what it means.
“Alright,” Atty. Kimlifts his chin and rises from his chair. “That concludes our meeting. In the meantime, you lay low. We’ll handle everything.”
You nod, “Okay.”
True to Atty. Kim’s words, HAN entertainment handled everything. They released a statement that you watched one race because you were sixteen and clueless and didn't know you were getting yourself involved in an illegal activity. It helped that you drove under a different name so people were easily convinced of this lie. You knew your friend—the owner of the car— wouldn't even reveal that it was you who’d driven the car. His ego would be bruised once the people discovered that he cheated on the street races and a sixteen-year-old girl with no license and no personal car outperformed him.
Additionally, HAN announced that you were to depart your group—ORACLE—which absolutely destroyed you because ORACLE had been the place where you felt like you belonged. ORACLE had been your goal. You worked yourself to the bone to the point of collapse because you wanted to be in ORACLE and wanted to remain in ORACLE.
Nevertheless, you accepted your fate easily. There was no point destroying the other members because of your fault alone.
Your members cried for a whole week after the announcement was made public through HAN Entertainment’s official social media platforms and you spent every single day you could still spend inside the dorm reassuring them, telling them that you’d still be there for them, that you’d be standing behind them in each step to their success. You loved your girls so much. You wouldn't even choose to leave them. If only fate was a bit kinder to you. If only life was less brutal.
Furthermore, HAN made you publish a handwritten apology letter. You couldn't remember what you wrote anymore but you did remember how heavy the pen felt, how your hands trembled as you wrote each sentence, how writing the damn letter took three hours because you kept breaking down midway. They announced your hiatus promptly after. They used the term indefinite hiatus but it might as well be retirement.
You can't believe that you suffered through sixteen years under the same roof as your incredibly abusive mother, left home with only a backpack and a paper bag of cash just as you hit eighteen years old, worked your way in the harsh world by juggling three part-time jobs and a scholarship-shouldered university education until a scout noticed you, undergone the rigorous and borderline suicidal training of a KPop idol to-be, and sacrificed everything you had—mental stability, blood, sweat, and tears—just so you could pass every monthly evaluation and become your company’s darling, only to have everything disappear because someone found pictures of you predebut in an illegal street racing event. Fuck.
You were fucking sixteen at that time! You didn't know any better. You only wanted money. You didn't have a license. Getting one is too expensive. You borrowed a car from a friend. It's an unregistered car. You drove the car. You won races. You stopped when you turned eighteen. That was it.
Knetz decided to crucify you for a sin born out of your desperation when you were sixteen. When a dog was hungry, it ate whatever was thrown its way, uncaring if the food thrown at it was good or not because its primary instinct was only to cure its hunger. It was not as if you sexually assaulted someone. It was not as if you bullied someone and involved yourself in school violence. It was not as if you drank alcohol and drove or even involved yourself in gambling. Sure, street racing was illegal but you never even hurt someone! You never even crashed into someone mid-race.
You’re sure you’re going to leave the company and you won't fight their decision if they want you to do so. People spit out their gum when they lose their flavor. That's also what the industry did. You saw it happen too many times to too many idols. They collect pretty faces, push them to their limits until they could be loved by the public and once the public decides they’re not worth loving anymore, they’d spit them out. You are a gum in this story.
You feel like you’re eighteen again. You want to run away from home all over again. You ran away from the house you were born in once and now, you’re going to run away from the house you worked hard to live in. You want to pack your bags and board the next plane to another country even before the light of the rising sun touches the ground. That gnawing feeling of not belonging to a place that’s supposed to be home kept tormenting the cracks of your heart and the only way to seemingly get rid of it albeit only temporarily is to pick up on your feet and run away, never to leave anything behind you. Not ghosts, not traces, not memories—nothing.
But HAN entertainment won't let you. Yoon PD-nim knocked on your door, a contract in hand. He offered you an apartment to live in, a salary, a place in the company, and told you to keep creating songs. HAN Entertainment knew your talent in song making and producing was partly behind the success of ORACLE, their rising girl group. You were too useful to get rid of easily.
And like that, you spent the last two years making music for every kpop group under HAN Entertainment. You mostly made B-sides for the junior girl groups, AURORA and PRIZMA, and the title tracks for boy groups, HIRA and 1THEBOY. You worked for soloist, Ciel, once for his last comeback before his mandatory military service and worked on half a mini-album’s worth of songs for ORACLE every comeback. Thankfully, the songs gained positive feedback from the general public. That was your ticket to keep staying in HAN entertainment as a ghost producer and ghost song-writer.
Two years. You rotted in your apartment and the studio. This felt no different than the time you lived under your parents’ roof. You felt like a ghost, present but also not quite there. It's quite fitting, you think. You're a ghost producer and a ghost song-writer.
This was not a life worth living but you’d rather a life not worth living than have nothing at all.
You empty your fifth cup of coffee for the day—an unhealthy brew of Americano with five shots of espresso—before standing up from the ergonomic chair where you’ve glued your ass on in the last two to three business hours. The demo for Sunset Paradise is almost finished. There are still a few parts that need major adjustments and refinement but you’re confident that you’ll be done by midnight.
Manager-nim enters the studio just as you reach the door. You jump, almost kicking the indoor potted plant inconveniently positioned near the door. The caffeine made you extra jumpy today. Once you get over your tiny shock, you bow your head in greeting. Manager-nim mirrors your actions.
“You're still working?” he asks.
“You're still bald?”
Manager-nim rolls his eyes at you, smiling. You chuckle.
Manager-nim, or rather, Song Dan, is ORACLE’s manager. He is a middle-aged man who only came up to your shoulders. He’s shaped like a square with round glasses sitting on the bridge of his nose. He treated you and the other members of ORACLE as if you were his daughters.
“I’m going to go get coffee. You can sit here for a while,” you invite, gesturing to the tiny cream couch. You use your feet to nudge the potted plant and clear Manager-nim’s path.
“No coffee,” Manager-nim stops you, taking a seat. “That's enough coffee for you today. Sit down here. We need to talk.”
“You can't kick me out. I won't give you Ciel’s first post-military mini album and ORACLE’s summer title track if you do.”
Manager-nim’s eyebrows draw together, a vertical wrinkle appearing between them, “What? No. We're not kicking you out.”
Your shoulders sag, relieved.
“Yoon PD-nim wants you to release a single.”
At that, your entire body stiffens, eyes going wide as saucers. You let out a noise in disbelief.
“You're joking.”
Manager-nim’s face doesn't shift in the slightest.
“You're actually serious,” you rub your chin with your hand.
What is Yoon PD-nim trying to pull now? Two years have passed since you’ve disappeared from the limelight. You're certain that you're not returning to the world of flashing lights and stage performance anymore and you’ve already accepted that your career has ended.
“Why?” your voice slightly wavers as you ask. Manager-nim sighs heavily, patting the vacant space beside him.
“Take a seat. We’re going to be talking for a while.”
The girl in the mirror stares back at you. She looks exhausted. She has deep bags underneath her eyes. Her shoulders are bony. They look like they're about to pierce through her pale skin. Her lips, which should be a nice shade of pink, are pale. Her eyes hold emptiness.
You pull your gaze away from your reflection and direct it to the bathroom sink, where a hair brush sits on the white tiles quietly. Fallen hair gathers up in its numerous sharp teeth. At this rate, you’re going to end up like Manager-nim—bald.
You can't go bald. You have a weirdly shaped head.
“Yoon PD-nim wants you to release a single but before the release, he needs you to be in a PR relationship with someone.”
You hiss loudly, slapping a hand on your temple. God, you want to act like Manager-nim never said that. You don't want to remember it.
You? A PR relationship? With someone you don't know? How atrocious. You didn't even need to hear Manager-nim out until the end. You are out. You do not vibe with romantic relationships. They make your skin crawl.
“Listen, [Name]. This might be your only chance to come back again.”
“What if I don't want to come back again?”
“Then why are you still here? Why are you still making music? You're good at leaving so why didn't you?”
The public still terrifies you but you will never tell that to anyone. You can’t even go out and buy groceries without trembling. So many eyes. So many judging eyes. They're all waiting to destroy you again with their stupid eyes and stupid mouths with sharp teeth. A stupid PR relationship won't save you.
But what if it will?
You hold the edges of the sink and lean the majority of your weight against it. Your knuckles slowly turn white. Your knees feel weak. You close your eyes and let out a shaky sigh.
Why are you still here? A voice in your head asks.
I just want to be home. You reply.
Do it. This is your ticket to go home. It says.
You open your eyes and gaze into the mirror.
Do you want to be home?
More than anything.
With a nod, you push yourself away from the sink and exit the bathroom.
Yoon Sang Hyuk, CEO of HAN Entertainment—the black marble desk name plate indicates; the text an intimidating shade of gold. The owner of the name sits behind the table, his legs crossed over the other. His face is sealed with a neutral expression. Suddenly, a satisfied smile works its way across his face and you swear the wrinkles that permeated his entire face doubled in amount.
“I knew you still had it in you,” he says calmly. “That's good.”
“Thank you,” you say, your tone coming out bland.
“I’ll give you a manager and you are to leave for Singapore tomorrow.”
You nod, “Yes, Yoon PD-nim.”
“Oh and [Name]?”
“Yes, Yoon PD-nim?”
“I know you're smart and you're hardworking and you're strong,” he begins. “I am confident you’ll do well so when you fly out there, don't be intimidated by any of them. You're as powerful as them. Remember the reason why you're there in the first place and do what you think is best.”
“You're putting a lot of trust in me,” you observe.
It's questionable; the amount of trust he’s giving you. You already expected that Yoon PD-nim would send out an entire escort team just to make sure that you're not going to mess up again and get yourself involved in a PR nightmare incident. Who knows? Maybe someone will dig up pics of you copying homework from your seatmate in middle school and crucify you for being an academic cheater while you're out there holding hands with your fake boyfriend.
“I know you won't make the same mistake twice.”
You finally catch the underlying message behind his seemingly harmless words.
Focus on coming back and don't make another mistake.
You nod, “Yes, Yoon PD-nim.”
“Lando Kinder Norris,” you read the name on the folder, brows furrowing. That's a rather unique middle name. “British-Belgian. Born November 13, 1999—”
It's good that your fake boyfriend and you were born in the same year. You're not very fond of age gaps.
“—in Bristol, England. Currently racing for McLaren. Car number 4. First entry is the Australian Grand Prix.”
Below is a series of long paragraphs detailing his racing history that you’re definitely not reading. Shoving the folder aside, you lean back into the seat and cross your arms over your chest. Your eyes flutter close. Jinnie, a HAN entertainment manager who looks like she’s half white and half Asian, gives you a judging look from her seat.
“You should read it,” she advises.
“No,” you say.
“I spent hours compiling that information,” Jinnie frowns.
“You compiled the wrong info,” you tell her, not even bothering to glance towards her. “Nobody will believe we’re real if I only know the things written in Wikipedia. You should have asked his PR team how he likes his coffee, if he prefers brunch dates or dinner dates, if he likes staying in or going out, if he likes the sunny weather or the rain, if he’d rather get food delivery or cook, if he’d like to hold hands and walk side by side or walk ahead of you so he can act like your guard dog. Those things.”
To be loved is to be known.
“You speak as if you have romantic experience.”
“Do poets have to experience the things they write poetry about?” you retort. “Immanuel Kant believed that everything depended on how individuals interpret and respond to his environment based on their personal opinions and feelings. I don't need to experience it to know.”
Recurring observations are your common source of knowledge. Reading is another.
And besides, this isn't your first PR relationship. You like to think that you know exactly what you're doing.
“Tell me something that's not written in the folder, Jinnie-ssi,” you open your eyes and tilt your head so you can lock eyes with her. “For example, why does a distinguished racer need a fake relationship? I can’t be the only one benefiting from this agreement.”
Jinnie purses her lips, “I don't know much.”
“But you know something,” you rest your chin on the palm of your hand. “Tell me.”
“There have been rumors that Lando Norris got a girl pregnant. The woman marched into Woking and demanded to see him. Apparently, he got her pregnant when they slept together in a bar,” Jinnie shakes her head. “It's a messy ordeal but McLaren recently proved that Lando wasn't the father. Too bad though, the public isn't believing them.”
“And they think giving him a girlfriend would somehow make the public love him?”
“They need to show the world that their boy isn't an asshole,” Jinnie says. “That he’s a loving, loyal partner. That he isn't capable of committing fuckboy crimes because he has a girlfriend waiting for him at home.”
You snort. McLaren really decided that you’ll be the best girlfriend? How did they even know your existence? The KPop community and the F1 community are worlds far away from each other. It's easier for them to choose a supermodel, an American actress, or even a pop star. But no, they really decided that a washed-up KPop idol is a good girlfriend for their star boy. You can think of a few reasons why they chose you.
“Are you sure he really isn't the father?” you ask. Companies can ignore morality for the sake of protecting their golden images. HAN Entertainment is no different. For all you know, you’re going to be fake dating an asshole who made a woman pregnant and refused to take responsibility. He’d be no different from your father who left your pregnant mother.
“Beats me.”
An hour later, the plane lands in the most expensive city in the world, Singapore.
You have three choices: a VAQUERA blue devil sweatshirt, Motel Rock chute trousers, and a Adidas forum low shoes combo, or a varsity baseball jacket, Bonbom rhee cargo pants, and a Curetty C round toe mary janes combo. You went with the varsity jacket-cargo pants-mary janes combo. You put on a bonnet to finish the look. When Jinnie enters the hotel room and sees what you're wearing, she immediately says:
“No. You're definitely not wearing that.”
“What's wrong with this?” you ask, looking down at your fit. This is what you usually wear. They're comfortable and acubi fashion is a trend nowadays.
“You're a WAG now. Dress like it.”
Your eyebrow arches.
“WAG?”
“Wife and girlfriend,” Jinnie replies. Your confusion isn't absolved, not even the slightest. Your mouth pulls to the side.
“And how does this correlate to my fashion sense? Do race car drivers control their girlfriend’s fashion style?” you genuinely question.
“No,” Jinnie says. “But they’d prefer it if you dress in something befitting for a WAG, you know? Elegance? Classic timely looks?”
You put a finger up, “No.”
Jinnie huffs, “I’m not taking a no for an answer. Wear a satin dress. Wear cotton trousers and silk blouses. Look like you're from an old money family, not some hip hop dancer from the streets. You're no longer your own person, you are an extension of Lando Norris. You have to look a certain way, act a certain way, talk a certain way. Your goal is to make Lando Norris look good.”
You push your tongue to the inside of your cheek, annoyed. Your jaw is tense.
“And when Lando Norris looks good, you’ll look good. Good enough that the public will love you again to support your new song. Do you understand?”
She's right.
She's right.
You hate that she's right.
No matter how bitter the truth tastes, you are irrelevant and Lando Norris is your ticket to going back. In any other world, you will never ever allow yourself to become a jewelry for a man to wear. So you grit your teeth, keep the ugly prideful monster within you at bay, and clench your fists. You have nothing and when you have nothing, you need to be resourceful and make use of the people who have the things to push you to the top again.
You let out a sigh, “Jinnie, choose my outfit for me.”
Jinnie nods and leaves the room immediately.
It's three days before the Singapore FP1 2023. Jinnie drives you to meet Lando in his hotel. They organized a lunch gathering with you, Jinnie, Lando, and the other McLaren PR representatives who are responsible for this entire PR scam.
You're wearing a Versace tweed cardigan and a boucle tweed skirt paired with high heel leather boots and Greca goddess large shoulder bag. All black in color. Jinnie is the one who styled your hair. She insisted on it actually, claiming that your beach waves hair isn't doing it. She flat ironed the hell out of your hair so now, it's straight as a pole. She also sprayed your bangs with strong hold hairspray to keep them in place.
The outside world is nothing but a blur of high-rise buildings and cement pavements as the car runs. You're picking on your nails. They're clean but bare of manicures. Your two pinky nails are a bit too short. You tried to stop yourself from biting them in the airport but you can’t resist.
Two years is a long time. A bit too long in your opinion. You don't remember the things you learned in your etiquette classes anymore—how to stand in the public, how to walk, how to pose in front of the cameras, how to smile, how to greet people, how to look completely in your element despite being anxious of having a thousand eyes staring at you, how to act as if you're not crumbling at the pressure of looking good for everyone. That's the only way they’ll love you. If you look good in their eyes.
“We’re here.”
You blink.
“Come again?”
Jinnie points outside the car window. The car stopped and you didn't notice.
“Sorry,” you mutter, flipping your hair over your shoulder. You let out a breath, roll your shoulders back, and push the door open. Your entire face relaxes and you smile politely at the valet when Jinnie hands him the keys of the car. You ignore the starstruck expression on his face as you gesture to Jinnie to lead the way, following after her but not before saying your thanks to the valet. You're polite. You're trained to be.
You keep your shoulders square and your walk confident as you enter the hotel lobby. There aren’t a lot of people inside. There's a family of four in a corner, a group of elderly people sitting in the waiting area, and a group of posh friends chatting near the front desk. You can see a few heads turning in your peripheral vision. You can't blame them. You can be stunning if you try to be.
Your heart begins to ram violently against your rib cage. A million butterflies infest your intestines. Your ankles feel like it’ll snap in half a few minutes later. Your mind chants: DID THEY NOTICE HOW SCARED I AM? DID THEY NOTICE HOW TERRIFIED I AM? DID THEY NOTICE? DID THEY?
You want your ball cap and your sunglasses and your face mask. You want to hide your face.
You have to control your breathing as subtly as you can but you continue walking as if you're the prettiest yet the most down-to-earth creature to ever grace the planet. You fix your hair again once Jinnie and you stop in front of the elevator. Jinnie presses a button and you wait. While waiting, you twist the sole of your boot against the floor. It's better than tapping it against the floor. The elevator dings and the two of you enter the empty box.
When the doors close, your knees give out. You slam your hands against the stainless steel walls to stop yourself from dropping to your knees on the floor. Jinnie’s hands wrap around your waist, supporting as you pull yourself up. Her face contorts in worry.
“Are you alright?” she asks. You nod quickly.
“Yeah, yeah,” you lay your palm against your chest, right above your drumming heart. “Thanks.”
You straighten up, tugging the hem of your Versace tweed outfit to smoothen the creases and fixing your hair again. You clear your throat. The elevator dings and the doors open. You step out and your mask slides in place.
Jinnie leads you to a private dining hall. In the middle of a hall is a table occupied by five people wearing tacky orange-black polo shirts. You recognize one of them to be your fake boyfriend, Lando Norris.
Jinnie had already shown you what he looked like in her tablet and a few printed pictures but the pictures didn't do him justice. He looks extra charming personally.
He's still not your type.
The entire group rises to a stand just as you and Jinnie reach the table. You give a ninety degree bow, hands flat on the collar of your top so you won't accidentally give the McLaren people a view of your chest. (It's not like they have something to see anyway. Your chest is flatter than a rice field.) The edges of your lips curl upwards in a polite smile. You see Lando, your supposed fake boyfriend, try to imitate the bow, although he doesn't go as deep as you did. Your head tilts slightly at his action.
Jinnie is the first one who speaks, stretching a hand in front of her to shake hands with the McLaren team. She introduces herself in fluent English, “I’m Jinnie Jo of HAN Entertainment. It's a pleasure to meet you. This is [Name].”
They each introduce themselves one by one. Nicole, Greg, Kyla, and Louis. You try to memorize their faces and their names, drilling it into your brain so you won't forget. You're going to be working closely with them after all.
“Hi,” you greet them. You also shake hands with each of them. It feels weird, shaking hands as greetings. You are more accustomed to bowing.
“Wow, Jinnie, your accent is good,” Kyla compliments your manager.
“Thank you,” Jinnie smiles pleasantly. “I was born in Chicago. English is my first language.”
“How about her? Does she speak English?” Louis inquires. He's giving you a funny look. You ignore it.
“She does,” you smile at him pleasantly. “I’m very fluent. You don't have to worry.”
Risha, the Canadian member of ORACLE, was the one who helped you master English. You even have a Canadian accent when you speak English because of her. Additionally, you also took language classes when you were a trainee—Japanese, Chinese, English, and you even requested Portuguese, Spanish, French, and Korean sign language. You dabbled a bit on Tagalog, too, because you know how large the ORACLE fanbase is in the Philippines. You continued taking the classes up even after debut, even after all the members of the group had stopped, because you wanted to master the languages for the fans, to be able to hold conversations with them, to connect with them. You only stopped going to the classes after leaving the group two years ago. It's nice to see that your English skills are still in perfect shape.
“Please take a seat,” Nicole invites. You and Jinnie sit down. You place your bag on the empty chair beside you and when you pull your gaze up, you coincidentally meet Lando’s eyes. They're blue and green with flecks of hazel dusted in the middle. It's the first time you've seen someone with eyes wielding three different colors. They're stunning.
You smile at him. He smiles back and then averts his gaze. You turn to Nicole, who’s sitting beside you.
“Now,” she says, putting two folders on the table. She slides them towards you and Jinnie. Jinnie picks them up. You don't. Instead, you stare at them.
“What are these?” you question, slowly bringing your eyes up and meeting Nicole’s gaze.
“Contracts,” she answers.
“Contracts?” you echo, picking the folder up and opening it. You take your sweet time reading from top to bottom, tilting your head a bit to the side.
“You don't have to read it all. It's all just formalities. Just sign it,” Louis inputs. “Reading can be hard for you since it's not your first language—”
“I read just fine,” you interrupt, not glancing up as your eyes thoughtfully scan through the words printed on the paper. “Thank you for the concern but this is a contract that involves me and my future. I wish to know what I’m agreeing to.”
Louis wisely keeps his mouth shut. You put your hand on your mouth so you can discreetly smirk.
When you finish reading, you slowly set the folder back on the table. You press your tongue against the inside of your cheek as you tap your finger on the wooden surface of the table.
“This is unfairly written, don't you agree?” you ask. “You're putting rather lots of demands on me but so little on him.”
From beside you, Jinnie thins her lips. You know she's also thinking the same thing. Fucking HAN Entertainment. They didn't even make sure that the contents of the contracts are not disadvantageous towards you. You are disappointed but not surprised. They really just sent you to be devoured by wolves and demanded you to not make a mistake.
McLaren also thinks they can just choose a washed-up KPop idol to cosplay as their golden boy’s trophy girlfriend and make her do all their demands with little benefits and zero complaint. They deliberately chose someone who still holds popularity but little power. Someone who needs them as badly as they need her. They chose you.
Assholes. The two of them.
“What do you want him to do anyway?” Louis sneers. His face is beginning to look a little too annoying. “He's busy building his career. All you have to do is support him and make sure everyone knows it because you have none. That's all. Or is that a little hard for you?”
Louis is getting this all wrong. Jinnie told you that you're going to fix his reputation for him so his career wouldn't be ruined. In exchange, he gives you publicity so you could bring your career back from ruination. This is not a parasitic relationship where only their side gets the benefits. How could you even work on that comeback of yours if you're going to be glued by his side?
Your jaw ticks with restraint yet you choose to smile, “He’s not the only one building his career.”
You pick up the folder and toss it to Jinnie, who catches it skillfully.
“Throw that away. We're flying home. I don't need a PR relationship to promote my single that much.”
Satisfaction fills you when their faces grow alarmed.
Ha.
“Wait,” Kyla stands and she shoots a dirty glance towards Louis. Your eyebrows scrunch a little. “The contracts are open to revisions.”
You clap your hands together, smiling widely.
“Perfect. Jinnie, hand me a pen.”
The team leaves you and Lando alone in the hall to eat, to give you both a chance to get to know each other.
You allow your eyes to scan the hall. It has a bright spacious ambiance. The windows are stretched from the floor to the ceiling, allowing as much natural light inside. Singapore looks absolutely breathtaking down below. The flooring is made out of natural pine and a crystal chandelier hangs atop the table where you and Lando ate. You keep thinking: what if it'll fall? You shake the thought out of your head and put a fork full of pasta into your mouth.
“Is the pasta good?” Lando asks. You nod, humming and smiling. You don't like it one bit. You're also mildly allergic to shellfish. You're definitely going to get a bad case of rash later. You hope Jinnie is prepared with a medicine kit. You forgot to bring yours.
You wipe your mouth with your table napkin, announcing, “I’m full.”
You have only eaten half the plate.
“Oh you have a…” Lando points at the corner of his lips. You wipe the same area in your face. “No, the other side.”
You wipe the other side, “Is it gone?”
“Allow me,” he says, standing up from his chair and leaning across the table to thumb the stain.
“Is it gone?” you ask again. Lando nods.
“Yeah, it is.”
He goes back to his seat.
“Thank you,” you smile. “You're already doing great with the whole fake boyfriend act.”
A flustered smile splits Lando’s face, shaking his head.
“I try.”
“By the way,” you begin, leaning a little forward. “Did they also give you a folder with my information?”
Lando nods, “Yeah.”
“Did they also suck?”
He purses his lips.
“Well….” he drawls.
“You can tell me if it sucks. The one my manager gave me looks like it's copy-pasted from Wikipedia.”
Lando chuckles.
“I mean, your biography is very…detailed? Too detailed, I think. I didn't remember most of them, sorry. I only remember a few of them. Like your birthday. January 1, 2000.”
“1999.”
“Pardon?”
You wave your hand in a theatrical flourish, “I was born in 1999. The company manipulated my public information.”
Lando’s brows raise in surprise.
“They do that?”
“You’ll be surprised,” you lean back into your chair.
“But why?”
“So every member in ORACLE can be born in 2000. I don't know,” you shrug your shoulders.
“That seems like an unnecessary change.”
“It is,” you agree. “But HAN wants everything to be perfect. They see a flaw. They fix it to their liking immediately.”
“What are the other things that are a scam in your biography?”
“Scam is a big word,” you tell him, amused. “But I’ll tell you. In exchange, tell me about yourself. Not the info I can read in Wikipedia. In order to make this work, I have to know you.”
To be loved is to be known.
“Alright,” Lando says. “We can take turns asking each other questions.”
“Cool,” you bring a glass of water towards your lips, taking a sip. “I’ll start. How do you like your coffee?”
#lando norris#lando norris x reader#ln4#ln4 x reader#ln4 fic#f1 x reader#f1 fic#kpop idol! reader#formula one#formula 1#f1 imagines#fanfic
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ofmd wasn't "profitable" enough but I didn't even get the feeling hbo wanted to make money off of it. They didn't promote it when s1 dropped, and the promo for s2 was erratic at best. They don't sell merch. Or physical copies. There's no bts documentaries other than what actors (shoutout to Samba ilu) make themselves in their spare time.
It took more than a full year for me to be able to watch s1 legally! I still can't access s2 legally anywhere! It's not that ofmd is unprofitable, it's that hbo refuses to profit off of it, because - well, because profiting off of it would mean investing work and money into it.
And like. Of course, when you compare it to the juggernauts hbo holds rights to, like GoT, ofmd is small fishes. But.
How on earth do these clowns think cult classics happen?
A Game of Thrones was first published in 1996 and didn't make it on the NYT beststeller list until 2011. The first edition of the first Harry Potter book was 500 pieces. And yeah, TV shows are different, but if you look at today's media landscape, would things like Star Trek, or Buffy, or Doctor Who stand the slightest chance? These things take time, is my point. A piece of media doesn't become a massively profitable, beloved classic over night. It takes time and effort to build that kind of franchise.
And the thing is! Nobody who makes these decisions even likes stories. I'm convinced that whoever is in charge at hbo, at amazon prime, even at disney, thinks storytelling is dumb and for idiots. They think it's enough to just slap the name of something people love on whatever garbage they spit out, for it to be profitable. They think it's the brand that sells: Look this has "Lord of the Rings" on it! Look, this one has "Game of Thrones", you like Game of Thrones don't you? Watch my show, boy.
But this isn't how this works. It's not the name that sells (unless, I suppose, you're the MCU, and even there one gets the impression the trick is finally stopping to work), especially not when the product is bad. People aren't idiots.
But it's not about making something good. It's not about making a meaningful piece of art, or telling an engaging story. ofmd served its purpose; it drew in all the subscribers it ever would, so there's no point in letting it go on. Even in the s2 that we did get, this is evident: the penny pinching is palpable, it's clear that the studio didn't want to spend any more money than absolutely necessary on it, and then cut the budget by 40%.
It's not about art. It never has been.
And it's not even about profit, because to be profitable eventually, stories have to be allowed to thrive first. You tell a good story first, and success happens later, often much, much later.
And ofmd was incredibly, astonishingly successful. It was the most in-demand series for weeks after the s1 finale. But even that wasn't enough, it's never enough, ofmd could have made record-setting profits and it still would have been cancelled, because -
Well, I don't know. Because we live in a bad time for art. Because Orwell was right, and stories have become commodities, like shoelaces. Because. Well. It's not about telling a story, is it?
What's the point of a story? What's the point of making something for the joy of making it? What's the point of a piece of art, existing, if it cannot be transferred into numbers for the stockholders?
idk how to end this. I hope David Jenkins finishes the story he wanted to tell, even if just for himself. I hope, against all odds, that weird, fun, heartfelt, beautiful little stories like ofmd continue to happen.
But goddammit.
#i knew this would happen but im still devastated#& i think the reason for that is. if not even something as inconsequential and silly as a fun little pirate romcom is allowed to exist#fuck#anyway ik its not that important but sometimes one just has to rant#our flag means death#thoughts
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Non comic related ask,
A while ago you were asked about Jujutsu Kaisen and said something to the effect of you didn't like the direction it seemed to be headed in. At the time only the first season of the anime was around and I thought it was pretty nifty at the time.
Now that the second season is concluded and it's at least as far as I'm concerned it's suffering in tone plot and pacing your words have come back as best I can remember them anyway.
So the question as it were, what were the clues that tipped you off to this? I respect your well earned media literacy skills, but even with your statement I would not have thought it was going to turn out this way.
Huh, interesting!
Since I haven't been keeping up with it I don't know what the recent developments are, and it has been a hot minute since I watched the first season, but from what I recall I just realized pretty quickly that JJK was aiming to purposefully subvert a lot of shonen action anime tropes, starting with the Superpowered Evil Side and going from there. Vibes-wise, the power and combat system was pretty visceral - most of the characters had to do pretty gross or unpleasant things to get their powers working, which wasn't really my speed from the outset, so I was already wibbling a little on how invested I wanted to get.
And when the darkness ramped up with that one major character death - the one who was in the anime intro having lovely downtime with all the heroes in a peace he never actually got to experience because instead he died horribly - I got the impression that the underlying theme that was playing out was "our hero thought being a shonen action protagonist would mean the world around him played along to the classical narrative beats, and he has just learned that this is not true." It essentially ties in with my thoughts on Tone Armor: the story was playing with a familiar space of shonen anime tropes in such a way as to make the audience and characters expect one thing, suddenly experience something much worse than anticipated, and thus feel unsafe in the world it was establishing. Kind of similar energy to Madoka's sudden reveal of What The Story Actually Is the first time a magical girl gets her head bitten off.
I didn't think this was bad, it was pulling off everything it wanted to accomplish very effectively - it just didn't really play to my tastes at the time, so I fell off of it and haven't heard anything to get me reinvested.
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Beauty and the Beast, But Make It BL
Or, about a year after the hype Hamliet finally watches KinnPorsche properly instead of just clips.
My overall thoughts are that I really, really enjoyed it. The characters were likable and interesting, and plenty flawed. The story also had some really fascinating ideas and nice fire, water, and air symbolism, as well as a really beautiful retelling of Beauty & the Beast. The main couples all foiled one another in interesting, thought-provoking ways. VegasPete? Is one of my favorite love stories in any media ever.
The side characters were also really well done, for the most part. I loved Kinn's friends, and Yok was a standout in terms of her mentorly role. And, the other bodyguards each got their own personality. Arm and Big were particular standouts to me, and I appreciated how Big's story arc (his unrequited love for Kinn) was handled: with subtlety, but thematic impact. His sacrifice showed Porsche that love sometimes involves sacrificing for the person you love.
The series also used symbolism fairly well. The lighting always changed to colored/rainbow lighting when it was a romantic scene, and stayed natural when it was not. The use of mirrors and windows, and phoenix/fire with Kinnporsche and water with Vegaspete, was intelligently woven into the story. I do think some of the symbolism was too heavy-handed at points, though.
Of course, because I'm me, I do have quite a few critiques as well, which mostly has to do with what I saw as potential that went untapped. The story never did anything "wrong" exactly, but it just never dug into how much potential it had. The foiling was strongly set up, but it could have been far more powerful than it was.
The plot was basically *vibes* which I'm okay with because I'm not super into plot in general, but unfortunately, as can happen when plot is weak, the themes suffered for it. If plot is a tour guide through a story's themes and characters, this was somewhat of a bumbling one... with an occasional stroke of brilliance that reinforced how satisfying the potential was.
Kinn + Porsche
Let's start with the main couple. I really enjoyed their characters, but I wasn't as invested in them as I was in the other characters I'll be covering. They seemed more like ideas rather than human beings, even though they had more complexity than some of the other, more human characters. While that might sound contradictory, what I mean by that is that the other characters always had drive and purpose for the narrative, while Kinn and Porsche sometimes felt more like vehicles (heh, get it, because--) to get to something that never quite arrived.
Kinn and Porsche also started off the series really strong, but weakened after they got together. After they were together, the writers kept bringing up the issue of "trust" between them, but I wasn't quite sure what they were trying to say about trust. And maybe they were just trying to explore the different sides of trust rather than give any particular message, but I thought it was a bit messily handled.
Still. Still. Porsche's line in the final episode, where he pointed out to Kinn that he was there not because he was on the minor family's side, nor because he was on the major family's side, but because he was on Kinn's side, was beautiful.
Kinn also starts off as a dark foil of Vegas... which is interesting because Vegas is so intensely jealous of Kinn and wants to be like him, and is set up as the antagonist. But we'll get there. Vegas kidnaps Porsche and attempts to make it look like he was assaulted, but Kinn saves him... only to assault Porsche himself. (I did appreciate the way the narrative did frame it well, which I wasn't expecting in a boy's love story.) Kinn then compounded it by punishing Porsche for his mistake--essentially, doing to Porsche what Vegas was doing to Kinn and would later do to Pete.
The irony, of course, is that the narrative still frames Kinn as a protagonist, but without giving him a halo. We're allowed to see that he is, intrinsically, no better of a human being than Vegas. Maybe even worse, depending on how you judge.
Porsche outright telling Kinn that he had hurt him, while Vegas hadn't (even if, kinda) and Kinn actually having to work to earn his forgiveness and trust--all of this was well handled.
Kinn's final realization in the wilderness that he could not keep Porsche and his act of selflessly setting him free , followed by a literal sacrifice, mimics what Vegas would have to do in later episodes with Pete, as well.
When they consensually have sex for the first time, it starts because Vegas again makes a move on Porsche... right in front of a mirror. Then, Kinn bursts in and Vegas leaves, and Kinn takes his place in the mirror with Porsche.
The symbolism is clever here and poignant: Kinn, you are Vegas. I just wish he had been asked to do more with that realization, particularly after the Tawan incident (later).
Again, my main issue is that I wish the show had more an idea of what it wanted to say concerning the theme of "trust" between these two. Especially after they got together, it all seemed a bit hazy.
The theme that was best explored with them was the idea of being a human being. Porsche continually insists that he's a person who decides his future for himself, while Kinn is like "I control your life; your life is mine, I can kill you at any time because you're just a bodyguard" early on. However, towards the end of the series, when they exchange quasi-wedding vows in one of the final scenes on a ship on the same river where Kinn first offered Porsche a job and Porsche told him he'd rather drown, there's a really beautiful moment where Kinn tells Porsche that they are making a new family together, and Porsche tells him again that he's not on any family's side--just Kinn's side. And then he tells him:
Porsche: All my life... is yours
Kinn: I promise you, I'll treasure it.
It's almost fairy tale esque in this scene, showing how far they've come. It also emphasizes that the point is that Kinn recognizes Porsche's humanity, and Porsche still affirms his own. Humanity is not a drawback but a benefit, because Porsche chooses Kinn, and choice is the realm of human beings.
Vegas + Pete
*screams* VEGASPETE ARE EVERYTHING
But honestly. I've talked how Vegas (who is, undoubtedly, the best written character) foils Kinn and will talk about Tawan, Kim, and Tankhun later on. Firstly, though, we have Vegas and Pete, asking the main thematic question of this series:
(As a human, of course. Except that's not easy.)
Vegas was so clearly my favorite type of character (Lee Yut-Lung from Banana Fish, Akutagawa Ryunosuke from Bungo Stray Dogs, Illumi Zoldyck from Hunter x Hunter, etc.) Someone who just so, so desperately wants to be loved, especially by his father, and cannot fathom why he does not have it. So he lashes out at everyone around him, especially those he's jealous of. He might claim that he's jealous of Kinn's power, but he's really jealous that Kinn is loved not just by Porsche, but by his brothers, by his bodyguards, even by his father (for all Korn's faults--and we're gonna get there--I do think Korn loves his sons).
This is so profoundly seen when Vegas initially kidnaps Pete and forces him to call his Grandma. Vegas leans in, groping Pete to make him terrified, but as soon as Pete tells his grandma he loves her, Vegas jerks back and rips the phone out of his hand. It's another reminder to Vegas that love exists, but he can't have it.
The only thing that truly shows Vegas love is his hedgehog... which of course is a symbol for Vegas himself (here's where I think the symbolism was too heavy-handed--not that he had a hedgehog nor what happened with it, but in that Pete actually bluntly tells him that he is the hedgehog. Leave it to your viewers, we're smart enough to get that.) The hedgehog, of course, is prickly and spiky but soft inside, just like Vegas.
The hedgehog is also specifically Vegas's inner child, in Jungian terms. It's always sick and dying, and he's afraid of it dying, but also afraid to actually recognize it. He doesn't name the hedgehogs because they always die. This is symbolizing how Vegas never really had a childhood, or the chance to develop normally. His father always beat it out of him and let him think that it was his fault, just like Vegas blames himself for the hedgehogs' deaths.
Vegas's father is the biggest obstacle in his growth. He can't ever truly grow up and overcome the father figure until his father's gone. Again, the symbolism is pretty blatant (but well done): Vegas is literally reading the novel Childhood's End, but his father slaps it out of his hand.
The message is clear: Vegas can't ever grow up until he lets go of his father. Fittingly, he's then seen reading the book again after making a meal for Pete.
Vegas and Pete are actually quite similar, not just in their terrible dads, but in that both of them, at their core, truly don't believe they are human beings. They don't believe they deserve love, or life, or anything. They're animals. Hence, Pete actually being called a pet is actually also Vegas pointing out how he sees himself.
But what they really want is to be human, which means to be free and to live.
Consequently, both Vegas and Pete are suicidal. Vegas drops about a million hints that he wants to die before he actually attempts it, even telling Pete he's feeding him so "you'll have energy to kill me."
Vegas self-harms too, and Pete tells him not to. Yet, after they have sex, Pete hits himself when Vegas can't see, telling himself that he didn't like it, even though he initiated. The reason they are both lost after they have sex is that neither of them are free physically or emotionally.
We see Vegas trying to do the right thing and making a fancy meal for Pete, even standing up to his father for a moment, only to have his father tell him he wishes he wasn't his son. At that added cruelty, Vegas smashes the meal he made, proving that even though he thought he was free of his father because he was in love with Pete, he wasn't. Not yet.
And Pete thought he was going to be free because of sex with Vegas, but Vegas still left him chained. Hence, he attempts suicide in front of Vegas. He also then calls Vegas out on everything in a well-done way, pointing out that Vegas is projecting his feelings of inhumanity onto him:
Need me? Like a pet with no feelings for emotional projection? I'm a human, Vegas... I have nothing left, not even my humanity.
Pete is then pointing out to us that after Vegas's childhood is grieved (shown in how Pete helps Vegas bury and put flowers at the hedgehog's grave), Pete embodies Vegas's humanity. If the hedgehog and his childhood should be grieved, because he'll never get them back, he can still have a human future in Pete. But to do that he has to embrace his inner humanity, and he cannot chain it up and take it out when he wants it, because that's just not how human beings work.
Even through making Pete realize and admit just how miserable he was--that he has no use and should just die, thereby showing Vegas that Pete truly does understand how Vegas feels--Vegas doesn't find what he thought he'd find. It's not comforting to be empathized with when it means someone you love is suffering so.
Vegas's apology to Pete is genuine, like Kinn's earlier, and heartfelt. Once his dad is dead, you'd really think he'd be free, but he's very much not. All his self-loathing, all his worst fears, have finally come true. Freedom isn't really found through death, but through embracing life and love. The hedgehog didn't have to die for Vegas to live, because death isn't freeing really. But choosing to live, even when you're in pain, for someone you love--that can be freeing.
Pete's "there is no legacy so rich as honesty" tattoo is somewhat amusing to me, because the quote comes from Shakespeare's All's Well That Ends Well, a play that is considered a "problem play," in that no one can quite decide what genre it is. Also, "honesty" in the play's context is actually "virginity," which also seems to fit, but anyways. The genre/problem play thing is interesting because Kinnporsche itself, as a show, seems to zig-zag between whether it's a comedy, romance, or serious crime drama. I think the reference is somewhat meta, but should have been delved into more.
The play is also relevant in that All's Well That Ends Well is about families, too--particularly how sons struggle to define themselves when it comes to being compared to their fathers, and how they react when they feel like they have limited choices in life. Hrm, hrm, Vegas.
Anyways, Vegas and Pete totally deserved their beautiful ending. When Vegas wakes up post being shot and tells Pete:
You're not my pet. You're the most important person in my life.
It's a great way to tie the themes of their arcs together. Firstly, it is a fairy tale ending. Secondly, it's an affirmation of Pete's humanity, the thing they both doubted they had. Lastly, it's affirmation that Vegas chooses Pete, and in choosing, affirms his own humanity. That Macau then bursts in calling Pete his brother-in-law and welcoming him to the family is adorable and shows Vegas just how much he has.
Kim + Chay
So now that we've talked about two self-destructive emotionally constipated men, let's talk about the other one in the other major relationship: Kim.
Kim's actor does a great job of showing how Kim maintains a veneer of cool aloofness when Chay confronts him, but is internally panicking. Kim is reckless, running into battle to save Chay in literally nothing but a tank top. When Chay calls him on who he is, Kim doesn't even try to defend himself. When he saves Chay again at Yok's bar, he makes sure Chay doesn't even notice.
Unlike Kinn and Vegas, who are too active and possessive, Kim is too passive and cowardly. He cuts himself off from people not because he doesn't love them--he clearly does--but because he feels like he's bad luck. Essentially, the same issue Chay has--that he feels like he brings bad luck.
But, that's not how life works. Human beings don't bring good or bad luck. It depends on choices, another theme from Vegaspete and Kinnporsche that wasn't delved into as deeply as it should have been. Still, choice is an integral part of being human, and the show does depict this.
Still, it was a nice touch to literally have Kim wear a shirt with the word "human" on the front the same episode Pete insists "I'm a human, Vegas." Pete, of course, tells Vegas he has choices to make, and Vegas then tells Porsche that same thing in the final episode: that it's time to make a choice.
Anyways. The unfortunate thing is that the series didn't fully explore Kimchay in the same way they did Vegaspete. That's especially clear in the cliffhanger ending, though I think it was fairly clear that they were heading towards something positive. After all, Kim finally does something he needed to do: saying outright that he is singing for Porchay. Keep working, boy.
On a production level instead of narrative, I'm guessing the actor's ages may have played a role in them not fully exploring their story. Idk. I think the implications--the fade out with a way-too-dramatic kiss on the cheek that the fade obscured and them waking up together--were that they were sleeping together, but because of the actors' ages they clearly cannot and should not show that. But I wish the writers hadn't let that limit them--there are other ways to show growth and explore issues even if you can't directly use sex to do so. See, the sex scenes between Vegas and Pete and Kinn and Porsche were well done, and always had interesting meaning and commentary to them, which is great. I just wonder if they let the fact that they couldn't use this motif stifle their creativity when it came to exploring Kim and Chay's issues.
Tawan
Tawan's story was heartbreaking. He was a fairly well done, pathetic antagonist. When Vegas proposed to him, knowing tha the didn't love Tawan... that broke my heart. He was suicidal and his death ultimately foreshadowed what Vegas would later attempt to do.
But Tawan was desperate for love--truly desperate. He would do anything to be loved by Kinn, by Vegas, by anyone. But it wasn't really love for a specific person (as shown in how he switches from Kinn to Vegas) so much as that he wanted to feel safe in that love. Because denying love means denying safety, which sets him up as a good foil for Kim (who clearly thinks it's safer for your loved ones not to act like you love them)... but it wasn't ever explored.
Tawan's desperate love also foiled Chay. Yet unlike Tawan, and unlike Kim, Chay is able to express what he wants... and to assert himself when he's been disrespected and not seen as a full human being (Kim seeing him as just Porsche's brother is what breaks him).
Tankhun
Tankhun was everything. I love him. I think they could have done more with him, especially around his relationships with his brothers. Like. We only see the three brothers--Kinn, Tankhun, and Kim--in the same room ONCE in the final episode. Once! A crime, a crime, I tell you! I know next to nothing about how all three of them feel about each other and interact with one another and I WANT IT!
Ahem.
Tankhun is still, in many ways, the beating heart of the series. He wears love and his feelings on his fabulous, colorful, patterned, and often feathered sleeves. He chooses to live how he wishes, but will do things for those he loves.
He's also always right, if you pay attention--he knows Gun is bad news, and he knows Pete is in danger while Kinn and Porsche are inexplicably dumb as hell for not suspecting Pete was in danger. When Pete reappears and Tankhun literally thinks he's a zombie, he still rushes to embrace him even so, just because he loves him.
Also, Tankhun is, much like Pete and Chay, fairly pure of heart. I don't mean that in a naive way, but it's clear Tankhun is somewhat childlike because of his trauma... yet, he's still the one who adopts fish and gives them names like Elizabeth and Sebastian and mourns them. He loves his siblings, and he welcomes Chay like a new brother.
The Little Mermaid reenactment with Porsche was A Lot, but also hilarious and fitting. See, he's childish, so of course he's going to like fairy tales. He knows the world isn't one, but he still enjoys ones and wants stories where the good ones don't die, and he does his best to live a fairy tale despite everything. I really think the series should have dug into this more, especially since Kinn and Porsche and especially Vegas and Pete are very clearly modeled after Beauty and the Beast. Sigh. The potential.
Not gonna lie, I think the brother relationships were somewhat failed all throughout. Macau and Vegas's bond wasn't fully explored either, and neither was Porsche and Chay's. Like, Porsche doesn't even know about Kim and Chay, and Chay had told him about being tutored by Wik, so... wouldn't he at least ask? Sigh.
Korn
So, ironically, the brotherly relationship best fleshed out is... Korn and Gun's.
Theirs is highly tragic, and the relationship they have with their foster sister is also clearly a warning to Kim, Kinn, and Tankhun about what they could become if they prioritize the power of the mafia family over each other and their own rights to make their choices and live and love. It seems like that won't happen, given Kim and Chay and Porsche as the minor family head and Kinn, fortunately, but again I think this could have been more clearly explored.
Like, if love, both romantic and platonic and familial, offers a way forward, a potential answer (though no guarantee, see Tawan), which I think the show suggested, it should have been more heavy-handed in showing us. This also actually ties into the fairy tale motif, and the human being theme, and choice, and it just could have been so much more neatly braided together than it was. And also it works with the trust motif, because you can't control someone you trust.
I do really appreciate the ambiguity about Korn, and the uneasy lack of answers about what really happened between Korn, Gun, and Namphueng. On the one hand, Gun's utter cruelty to Vegas and Macau makes it seem more than plausible that he's the worst and he did assault Namphueng and kill her husband. On the other hand, seeing Korn murder Namphueng's husband would surely explain the vitriol he has towards Korn that seems unusually intense even for someone consumed with envy and jealousy.
I think it's clever that the series doesn't answer it for us. Even when Korn kills Gun in the end but chooses to tell his guards not to harm Vegas, despite the fact that Vegas just killed a bunch of his most loyal men, and promises to protect Vegas and Macau, we're left wondering. Is this proof that Korn is indeed the merciful man who would never have harmed Namphueng and her husband? Or is it the actions of a cruel man who killed his own brother and then told his kids not to worry because he'd provide for them, just like he did with Posrche and Chay?
Alas, what would have made this even more powerful would be an emphasis on what trust is supposed to mean... sigh.
Final Thoughts
Overall, I really enjoyed the show. I loved the characters and the three main ships. It had great ideas that could have been better explored.
Also of note: from its lighting to staging of certain scenes, it also clearly took inspiration from Queer as Folk, which is one of my favorite stories ever, and there were some potential Crime and Punishment references in Pete talking to Vegas in a scene that mimicked Sonia and Raskolnikov.
Basically, it was designed for me to fall for it, and fall for it I did. I just wish it had been refined, because it could have also been a masterpiece in addition to being entertaining (yes, really), but alas, didn't quite get there. Still, I'd definitely recommend it.
#kinnporsche#hamliet reviews#vegaspete#kimchay#vegas x pete#kinn theerapanyakul#kim theerapanyakul#kinnporsche tankhun#tankhun theerapanyakul#pete kp#kinnporsche meta#kp meta#pete saengtham#vegas theerapanyakul#korn theerapanyakul#gun theerapanyakul#porsche kittisawasd#porchay kittisawasd
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After searching about, I've found others who've had and thought about the same issue that I did, which is that the Kingdom Hearts fandom has a HUGE amatonormativity problem. Which, yeah, most fandoms do, but the difference here is that the KH fandom is pretty small, which makes it way more prevalent.
There's a good amount of people who think Sora is aroace, grayromantic, or alloromantic asexual, but they keep it to themselves for risk of being harassed by shippers. They have to protect themselves with "aphobes DNI" on the few posts they do post about it. They have to continuously reblog their own art or go to a confession blog to lament about it.
And it's sad! This is saddening! And the thing is, I do ship SoRiKai. At least the minimum amount, enough to be fully invested in what's going on in canon. Because, canonically? They do care about each other intensely enough to usually go beyond the bounds of typical friendship. Especially Sora. The way he thinks, the things he does, it's all so grandeur in comparison to the things people do in real life for their friends. He flat out says he wants to be with Riku and Kairi forever in one of the first games.
The problem is that people still think being aroace means being apothi and aplatonic, but that's not the case. Sora feels platonic attraction so quickly, frequently, and intensely that it even puts off new characters he meets in the game. He's affectionate, uplifting, and confident(most of the time). But people can't see aroace people as a whole as anything but negative and loveless. Which is just plain not the case for all of us. Aspec people post about the different ways aspec people think all the time! It's mostly the only thing in the aromantic and asexual tags, and I frequent those a lot! So I'd know!
This is an issue thats brought up over and over and over again, and it's that being aroace-- feeling exactly zero romantic or sexual attraction-- does not mean you also feel zero platonic or queerplatonic (or sensual or alterous or any tertiary) attraction. It does not mean you can't feel attraction that is just as intense as allos feel romantic or sexual attraction. Sora has always attributed his strength and confidence to his friends, to his heart that belongs to all of his friends. He feels platonic attraction so intensely that it literally powers him up. It's the main theme of the entire Kingdom Hearts franchise.
Saying that Sora feels queerplatonic attraction towards Riku and Kairi does not mean he'd feel any less than if he were romantically and/or sexually attracted to them.
Thinking that queerplatonic and/or platonic attraction is less than romantic and/or sexual attraction is incorrect, aphobic, amatonormative, and exactly contrary to what Kingdom Hearts the franchise is partially trying to do.
Kingdom Hearts normalizes healthy, platonic, life-long relationships, which wasn't well represented in the early 2000s. Most media represented friendships as on the back burner, especially when pit against romantic relationships. Affectionate arospecs watched shows and movies when they were younger seeing the main character dismiss their friends, grow out of them, or outright hate them, and then have their problems be solved by a romantic partner. Toxic or unhealthy friendships (and also sibling relationships) were the norm, so having Kingdom Hearts, and a few other media I can't think of right now, be made where there's no romance outside of background characters and established ones fron Disney Movies, and where friendship is treated as equal and as the most important, was revolutionary.
Tons of Shounen anime do this, too. Bleach, Full Metal Alchemist, Hero Academia, most sports anime. Then there's other stuff like most magical girl anime, Soul Eater, Little Witch Academia, Promised Neverland, Lucky Star, Baccano, most Miyazaki movies. A lot of popular anime are popular because people love the friendships between characters. And I bet most people in Kingdom Hearts love it specifically because of the friendships too. They like that they're friends. Because their friendships are wholesome, and healthy, and good. They make us feel good. KH isn't "Queerbaiting"(which is only ever brought up for mlm ships and never for aspecs or wlw) for having Riku and Sora care about each other and get along. Just because pop culture has forced f/m relationships start specifically because a girl and a boy get along(if even that happens), doesn't mean that all characters in all media that get along are romantically into each other. Both of those are bad and thinking that its not is a double standard. Platonic chemistry and romantic chemistry are not the same (even if pop culture media continue to try and make it seem like they are). But so many posts trying to prove Sora is actually canonically secretly in romantic love with Riku and Kairi only have evidence of him just being his regular old self, doing things he canonically sees as platonic-- things that are platonic.
It's not an issue of people headcanoning Sora with romantic/sexual attraction (or otherwise) for the other characters, it's about the harassing of other people that it's canon and the blatant aphobia and amatonormativity. All that's canon right now is that Sora cares about his friends, which includes Riku and Kairi, and the fact that I got so much negativity back for saying he's aroace and feels queerplatonic attraction for them only proves that some people in this fandom think aroace people can't care about anyone strictly because they don't feel romantic or sexual attraction. The aphobia in the fandom needs to be addressed, and the aspec content should be allowed to be post freely without push back.
TLDR; Once the main Kingdom Hearts fandom stops seeing every little interaction between certain characters as canonically romantic, it'll finally be a more open and healthy community that people won't be afraid to engage in.
I want this to be helpful to read and for someone to learn something. And if aphobia shows up again, maybe take that person to the side and say that's not cool? Defend us aspecs, please? Cause all that..really makes me feel bad about and put off Kingdom Hearts completely. (And again! I ship SoRiKai! But people that don't ship it shouldn't have to go through this either!)
#tw Aphobia#Arophobia#Acephobia#aromantic#asexual#asexuality#kingdom hearts#kingdom hearts 3#kh sora#kh kairi#kh riku#kairi kingdom hearts#SoRiKai#SoRiku#SoKai#RiKai#amatonormativity#Aromisia#allonOrmativity#Arospec awareness week#If You Ever Make Aspec Sora Kairi and or Riku content pls Tag me in it! Feel Free!#I'd like to see it
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on media literacy, shipping, and Ted Lasso...
This post was helpful to learn Hannah's more nuanced thoughts about Ted & Rebecca. I put the quotes in a word doc for people who can't see the words.
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The T&R discourse is all over the place and I'm realizing that there needs to be a hard distinction between:
1) Ted & Rebecca as endgame (profess mutual romantic love, live happily ever after), and
2) Ted feeling romantic love for Rebecca and that truth is made clear to the audience through the writing, Rebecca's feelings are ambiguous-soulmate, and the characters are not necessarily endgame.
I had hoped for option 1. I reasonably thought the red bottom shoes were the clearest sign that Rebecca was going to Kansas, and I think the writers intended for me to think that. But the show also has a clear thread of melancholy and I wouldn't have been surprised if endgame was not in the cards. (I was also haunted by the reference to Once in the Christmas episode...)
So, as co-creator, Brendan Hunt, says, there was no enthusiasm in the writers' room for option 1. But option 2 is right there. Instead of the ambiguous ending that created feelings of confusion and being baited, I wish they had let the reasons for the heartbreak be clearer. Let the audience inside a little more so that the signs could maintain their narrative power and promise. In any other show that wasn't organized like a tight three-season arc that's filled with callbacks and parallels and signs, then ambiguity could be fine. But the way Ted Lasso is uniquely written, clear payoff on the central romantic arc was always going to be crucial and total ambiguity was always going to feel like a set up.
The anti-shippers who argue that there were no narrative signs towards a possible romance are dead wrong, but I agree with them that there was very little explicit romantic heat between Ted and Rebecca throughout the show. (I can't think of any except maybe Ted's "body language" during the gala and apology embraces.) I was hoping the story would get there given the signs and the narrative arc, but it never happened. So we're arguing about "media literacy" using different evidence, and I believe that signs are the stronger evidence given their specificity. We can all see that Ted Lasso is baking cookies so he can give them to Rebecca Welton every damn day, and I think most people can agree that that's at least peculiar. These signs of peculiar behavior and symbols piled up over three years, defining a clear likelihood of a romance in the works. But the case about heat is more subjective, a feel.
I have a friend who is a very respectful anti lolol. I encouraged her to watch the show and, when Ted found the matchbook in his pocket, she texted me "👀", even though she still didn't want it to happen. We had different hopes for the story outcome, but having "media literacy" is literally our jobs 😂 and she absolutely agrees the signs for romance were there and affirms the reasons the shippers are upset. The only difference between us was that, as a devotee to the TL writing approach, I became invested in the signs, and figured the heat would come when it came.
So when it ended, I had two distinct feelings. As a shipper, I was disappointed that option 1 did not come to pass. (ETA: Here's a great article breaking down the reasons for that.) But as a lover of the art of television, I felt a legitimate sense of loss that option 2 also did not come to pass, meaning the narrative signs were never acknowledged, they were just dropped like they didn't mean anything. Signs sometimes not being signs after all is life, sure, but tv shows aren't a realistic representation of life, they are an art form. The abrupt abandonment of their unique approach to writing created unnecessary turmoil in the fandom. This would have been bad enough, but then Brendan (and Hannah a bit as well) unhelpfully poured gas over it 🙄 by refusing to seriously contend with the show's narrative method and, instead, implied shippers (largely women) were making things up. But turns out that shippers are fucking smart and we took that shit seriously, look no further than the detailed gif sets on the tumblr tedbecca tag. Their comments broke trust between the storytellers and their very captive audience (including some media literate non-shippers). Their repeated "soulmates can be platonic" explanation was never in debate, it was always what we were seeing on the screen, the storytelling itself.
So, I'm sad that the project of it all played out the way it did. There's still a part of me that thinks maybe it will come back around someday so that the story can pay off the narrative debts it created, "thunder and lightening," daily homemade biscuits, etc. But it's hard for me to imagine I'd want to come back to the story whether or not that happens. Re-watches have also lost something special.
Maybe with time... 💜
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Factually, I know that there are a bunch of younger people in the marauders/wolfstar fandom who haven't actually read the books, but the thing I just can't wrap my mind around is: WHY??? And I don't even mean it in the sense of "these kids are ruining the fandom and should read the canon before they start writing fics" (well... at least not entirely). I mean that I utterly don't get it as a choice for them. Like, there is SO MUCH media out there that (a) has way better canon, (b) has canonically queer characters, and (c) wasn't written by a racist TERF. For example, Young Royals. In itself, a really good show. And if these new MWPP fans' fics are anything to go by, it has the exactly the kind of character archetypes, character relationships, and story lines that these folks are actually interested in seeing/reading. There's also Good Omens, OFMD, the (small but great) the Old Guard, etc. The options are abundant these days!
Now, for all I know, a lot of these folks might be in a few of these other better-suited fandoms in addition to MWPP. But why do they bother with MWPP at all? I get that MWPP & Harry Potter in general is a bigger, older fandom with a lot of existing content. But I feel like this newer pack of MWPP fans could really help build up more vibrant communities in the fandoms that genuinely suit them if they just invested their time & energy on that instead of on attempting to shoehorn characters & story arcs that they don't even (canonically) like into a form they enjoy.
I have many thoughts about this, actually! It's an interesting thing to discuss.
(I'm going to start out by saying that if you're a newer/younger fan here and you are reading this post...cool, you do you. I understand that the hyperfixation brain worms sometimes lead you places you didn't expect and you can't extract yourself very easily. But I'm still going to talk about how it 'tis a bit puzzling to me.)
This is not going to be universal at all, but I find personally that the fandoms I'm more active in are the ones where the queer relationships aren't canon, or are only hinted at very very slightly. Like, I wrote 18 fics for Good Omens before the romance was confirmed, and after that I wrote...1. I've written one fic for Maurice and 130 for Sherlock. I think that once the couple I want to get together is actually confirmed in canon, there's nothing left for me to do, you know? No more writing sandbox to play in. Don't get me wrong, I'm ecstatic that Aziraphale and Crowley kissed and I cannot wait for season 3. I'm just not as compelled to write fic for that fandom now as I am for, say, Temeraire. So I can see people being more drawn to write for MWPP, with so many possibilities to play with and so many characters/couples, as opposed to Young Royals, which was a fun show to watch but I am not compelled to write anything for because the romance already played out on screen! Same with OFMD and Old Guard - LOVED watching them, don't really feel compelled to write for them.
Obviously this is not universal because those fandoms are thriving, but it's just kind of how my brain works.
Also, there must be something about the way that Sirius's and Remus's characters have been watered down/changed entirely for TikTok videos that is compelling to the younger crowd. I don't know, because I don't go there, but I've heard so many younger fans say they started shipping Wolfstar because of what they saw on TikTok.
So...yeah. I am as baffled as you! With the abundance of queer content out there not written by a TERF, it is definitely surprising to see the fandom gain new members. I am only here because Sirius Black grabbed me by the throat when I was 7 years old and hasn't let go since. If I hadn't been seized by the series at a formative age (and before her TERFness was known), I don't know if I would have gotten into it as an adult. But I can't speak for those fans! I can only speculate, like you.
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why did you discontinue the turkish house project :(
that's actually a great questionnn because I loved the turkish house MD adaptation translation project and I think about it every other day
It wasn't one thing or the other but rather a combination of things, mainly:
Getting the episodes was a huge hustle: I had to pay for the Kanal D app subscription that would ONLY work on mobile, then screenrecord the episodes, making SURE that my notifications were completely off and that no pop ups would interrupt the 45 minute run of the episode. Goes without saying that I couldn't use my phone for anything during that period
Subbing takes sooo much time. It wasn't the first time I ever subbed but all my previous experience at work and independently was of videos no longer than 10 minutes. A 45 minute episode was huge, and they would take me several hours. Hours I didn't have because of my job (fortunately I got more home office days so I could potentially solve that issue)
Not only is subbing hard, but I DON'T SPEAK TURKISH. to translate the show I was relying on two things: the spanish dub that I got from my Kanal D subscription, and an english subtitled source that was not only of a bad quality but also clearly translated into english by someone who wasn't 100% fluent in English. Now, English is not my primary language either, but I tried to make things at least a bit more cohesive (in hindsight I realize now it was worth trying to run the turkish version through premiere's voice recognition and a reputable translator to cross reference with both the spanish dub and the dubiously subbed version, but it did not occur to me at the time)
The audio situation was HELL. I went above and beyond to try to offer you guys the SOURCE material in the best quality I could achieve. With this I mean, I didn't see any point in offering these episodes with the spanish dubbed audio, personally, as someone who enjoys watching live action in its original language. I made it my mission to switch the audio of my source to the turkish audio from the dubiously subbed version. Here's an issue: not only were there minor synchronization hiccups that I had to localize and fix, but also the turkish run was the two hour long run in opposition to my 45 minute run version so I had to kind of find my starting spot. Not as easy as it sounds when the videos are TWO HOURS LONG and you're working with two different episode numbering systems 😵💫
The storage situation was unmanageable since I was using Google Drive at the moment. In hindsight I should have invested my time on further research on other sharing options like uploading it to archive.org or even making my own torrents
But honestly, mainly? There just wasn't as much engagement as I was expecting. That was maybe the biggest thing. Knowing myself I would have kept pushing through for at least two or three more episodes if I knew enough people were interested. I felt like I was going above and beyond for this, working a lot of hours for free on something I was quickly losing passion on and I was doing it all for myself. So I just stopped.
I still have a special place for hekimoglu though, and a passion for rescuing lost media/abandonware that makes me want to give this another try, somewhere in the future. Also I was kinda hooked on the show and wanted y'all to get to the good bits so bad (I did way too much watching ahead). But who knows. At the moment I'm kinda disconnected from house md as a whole and also the fandom so it is possible that someone has found an easier way to access these episodes in good quality and I can just rest in peace. Maybe with house being on Netflix there's more interest from people that have a clue as to how to make the process less tedious. Maybe I could eventually figure out a way to make it work and bring it back. Maybe we could circulate a petition for Kanal D to offer these episodes with english subtitles once again.
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cove x derek
imagine derek’s crush on mc fading only for him to realize he likes cove
mc would be with baxter in this i think
mc and cove helping each other with relationship advice cause they’re the bestest friends ever
double dates
the world needs more derek x cove
✰ "Don't tell him, please-?" ✰
pairingミ☆ cove x derek
word count ミ☆ 1,067
tagsミ☆ getting together, jamie last, mc and cove are the best even just platonically, I'm in love with them all, pictionary double date, cove's easily embarrassed & it's actually really cute
notes ミ☆ okay agreed though, they're such an underrated duo and I hope and pray I did them justice!! I'll be using "Jamie Last" and they/them for the MC because it's not a reader focused post, but feel free to replace those with your own MC/yourself!
Okay to start
Derek didn't know who to tell
So, naturally, he told Jamie
Who nearly spit out their drink because ?????
That was unexpected to them
He made them promise not to tell Cove until he was ready
And uh oh
They could see where this was going from a mile away
"Okay, just to be clear, even if I find out he has a crush on you, and he makes me promise not to tell you, I can't tell him?"
"No! Please- I mean- please Jamie?"
They groaned. "Alright, alright. No telling Cove no matter what happens. I reserve the right to set you two up if I have to though."
"That's fair! Thank you so much- so much."
Jamie smiled, snickering a bit. Still, they knew exactly where this was gonna go, if media told them anything. This was gonna be a long and grueling few years.
Cove's the last to know about his crush on Derek
This partially includes Derek himself
Partially.
Jamie snickered to themselves about this constantly, and talked to Baxter about it very often
Listen, the hell of watching these two do an annoying tango around the bush that was their feelings? They couldn't do it alone
Baxter wasn't the closest with Cove nor Derek, but even he was invested in if or when the relationship would happen
And when Cove finally realized his feelings and almost yelled his realization to Jamie, they fully laughed
Not at him, not at his feelings, just- they half thought he knew??? How could he not
Then again
They were the most autistic friendship this world has ever seen
So really, with as dense as they both were, it should not have been a shock
"IthinkIlikeDerek," Cove blurted out in one quick breath, having called Jamie at the prime time of- midnight? Jesus Christ, Cove. Jamie has insomnia, what's your excuse?
It took them a few moments to process what he said, but when they did they laughed. "You're realizing this at midnight on a Wednesday?"
"Why are you acting like you knew?"
Silence.
"Did you know I have a crush on him before I did!?" Jamie's laughter told him all he needed to know, and they could almost hear the embarrassment in his tone. "Was I really that obvious to everyone else?"
Yeah, so, Jamie proceeded to play matchmaker
With Baxter's help, because there was no way in hell they were doing it alone
The two would never do it unless they were pushed, though
So while Jamie painstakingly tried convincing one (or both!) of them to confess, Bax started scheming up a backup plan
Unfortunately for him, Jamie actually succeeded in convincing Cove
Which was
Honestly a fucking miracle, have you seen the guy?
"Fine."
"Wait, actually?" Jamie was instantly ecstatic, grinning up at their too-tall friend.
"If you promise not to make fun of me for crying after it happens."
"'Course not! You're the best sentimental crier I know," while not a lie, Cove was also the only person Jamie knew who cried so often. "I'll have celebratory or depression treats ready for you."
Cove smiled, face flushed red from the whole discussion. "Thanks Jamie- you really think he feels the same?"
"I know it."
Of course, to no one but Cove's surprise
Jamie was right!
Cove and Derek were officially together
Now, I could write their first date
But frankly I don't want to right now (anyone reading can feel free to rq it and I'll make a oneshot or hc set though!)
Derek somehow got even brighter after they got together
And found himself making the way down to Sunset Bird far more often than before
He practically lived at Jamie's house, having sleepovers with them only to go visit Cove while they talked hours away with Baxter
When Jamie brought up the idea of a double date, Derek was immediately on board
Baxter agreed quickly too, partially because he loved Jamie and partially because he wanted to see the end result of the pining Jamie had spent years agonizing over
(Slow burns seemed to be a running theme in this group, looking at his and their relationship. But I digress, this isn't about them)
Cove agrees, a bit hesitant but happy to spend time with his closest friend, his boyfriend, and- whatever Baxter was to him, friend?
The four of them end up going out to dinner together and playing Pictionary at Cove's house
Cove is... horrible at it
He tanks his and Derek's points when he has to draw
But on the bright side!
Derek was good enough at doodling quickly that they got points that way
Jamie and Baxter were both decently good artists, but Jamie cracked under the pressure of the time crunch and could usually not get their sketch out properly
and Baxter's were so bare-boned that Jamie had trouble guessing until his time was almost up
Derek and Cove won pictionary against the artists, it's a miracle!
In his excitement of winning, Derek kissed Cove
Jamie almost cheered, because holy shit finally
And Cove
Was almost dead on the ground with how flustered he was
I think they're a really sweet couple
I mean, obviously, right?
From quiet nights on the couch watching movies together, to actually going out and doing things together, they just love being in each others' company
There is rarely a time you'll see them together but not touching
Usually it's subtle, hand-holding or wrapping an arm around each other
Other times, it's almost sickening how sweet and affectionate they are
It flusters Cove 24/7
But especially when they're in public and Derek decides to shower him with kisses
Derek will fumble to make up for Cove's bluntness and try and teach him how to be more situationally-aware/polite
It doesn't go well but hey, he tried
And Cove appreciates the effort, he really does, even if he does feel a little silly for not really getting it
Why would someone want you to be polite over being honest? Wouldn't you rather know what he really thought?
And Cove is adamant that Derek's not annoying
Any time Derek apologizes or backtracks or quiets down, he's encouraged to keep going on his rambles
"You're not annoying me, I just don't have anything to say" with a soft little smile that makes Derek's heart melt
I love them, they're so cute
#callofthemoon#our life now and forever#cove x derek#headcanons#fanfic#cove holden#derek suarez#baxter ward mention
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Hmm... you know what you said about people not actually reading books they claim they've read? I feel like this can basically apply to most media. We're living in the tik tok generation attention spans and media literacy have never been lower. I know people who watch everything speed up or they fast forward through movies and shows or they watch those movie plot summary videos on youtube and facebook and count that as watching the actual movie! (big yikes) I saw my sister the other day watching Friends via tik tok clips despite the fact we have the whole show on dvd. This is how people consume media nowadays and it's worrying!!
It's true lol. And I won't pretend to be super invested in everything I watch, but if it genuinely doesn't interest me I'll just kinda stop and move on (when it comes to shows--with movies I usually soldier on unless it's REEEEALLY bad).
Me and my lovely lady friends have had a movie watching group for... like four years now (since right before the pando lmao but the pando made it a lot bigger) and I think that our commitment to watching trash, amazing, and mid things (we've given up on VERY few movies) has made me believe even more that you need to watch or otherwise something before really getting into the discourse. Like. I just said I watched The Bear season 1 (or near to it) and decided it wasn't for me. But I absorbed like, none of that show lmao. It REALLY wasn't for me. So while I can say "I didn't like The Bear", I don't feel like I consumed it, so I can only say on the surface level what didn't work for me, and maybe what I dislike about it on a cultural level (see: the way romance arcs are handled and discussed in the media).
But if I REALLY wanna get into critiquing? I'll watch it. Maestro was such a bad movie. So hard to watch. It wasn't even so bad it's funny, it was just bad. But now I can tell you that with an informed eye, because I WATCHED IT. And there have been movies that have surprised me, too! We just rewatched one of my all time favorite movies that only us and Adam Driver's wife have seen, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote. That movie is so weird! We only watched it because Adam looked good in it! And it's AMAZING to me. I LOVE that movie. I also love so many random little movies people trash. I hate movies like Wonka yet I get through them so that I can properly drag them with an informed heart.
I feel like a lot of people have really lost the ability to invest time and thought. I mean, I know this because Zaslav has asked creators to make things that don't require attention from viewers. For HBO Max, dude. When HBO has been the home of shows that offer so much more nuance than the initial dialogue, based on line readings, expressions. Succession's dialogue, for example, is practically incoherent at points on paper. I mean, Roman Roy sounds so sadistic on paper lol. But when you see Kieran Culkin deliver his dialogue, there is a totally different read, and you see what Jesse Armstrong was actually trying to convey.
I also think this is one reason (other reasons are cultural lol) that people give such surface level readings even when they do consume the content. Like, if you've trained your brain to only read into the most straightforward, "the dialogue and actions are the single truth, there is no other truth, there is no other meaning than EXACTLY what is being done and said in a literal manner"... You are almost never understanding what truly great work really means.
I mean, I just discussed this re: Dreaming of You. Derek Craven stealing Sara's glasses is not meant to convey "Derek Craven is a tool". That is a completely surface level reading. Kleypas is conveying "Derek Craven is obsessed with her" and honestly? Some character work about his background (he steals impulsively because it's super easy to him because even though he's rich now he had to grow up stealing shit because he was LESS THAN dirt poor) and the way he sees the world (he wants her, he doesn't think he can have her, he covets her, and what he does when he covets is take, through theft if need be). And I don't know, probably some subtextual shit about stealing Sara because she's engaged and shit, but that's more interpretive lol.
And I don't expect people to get as granular and obsessive as I do, because a) I am super analytical by nature b) I am A Nerd c) I write a lot so layered meaning is something I'm obsessed with. But like... in the above example, the MOST BASIC reading of "he wants her so he took her glasses because he doesn't think he'll see her again" is so obvious lol. Lisa leads you to that reading. I think he literally has internal dialogue like "he'd never see her again so whatever" while holding the glasses.
The same with the Succession example. If Roman shakes off his dad's weird abusive comments going "it's whatever" you shouldn't go "Roman is devoid of emotion" lol, you should be able to pick up Roman actually deeply caring based on the line reading and expression and a million other line readings before that.
I don't know, dude. Just take the time to consume shit. Not everyone does have a lot of time, I get it. So consume fewer things. Take more time. It's okay. You don't have to be on top of the cultural moment all the time, and if you're faking it to be in it, you're not getting the full experience anyway.
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Let’s pour some salt together, Acacia~!/lh 💖
If it’s not too much trouble, can I ask #7 generally, #10 for Fairy Tail and Black Clover, and finally #25 for Demon Slayer?
It’s several questions and a bit all over the pl s so I hope you don’t mind… 😅
Cheers, Erika! 🥂 Thanks for the chance to get a little bit salty about so many different things! ^^
Necessary disclaimer above the cut: These are just my own personal opinions based on my personal tastes, perceptions, and feelings regarding the series, stories, and characters and their relationships. I genuinely have the utmost respect and absolutely no ill will towards anyone who has a different opinion than me. In fact, I have always said that one of the greatest things about fandom is that we can all experience and perceive these amazing stories and characters in very different ways but still love them. Even some of my dearest fandom friends enjoy different pairings than me or see our shared favorite characters in wildly different ways than I do. I personally find it very rewarding to have respectful conversations about our differences of opinion, and I hope that my opinions will also be respected. Also, I don't vibe with just mindless bashing things, so even though this is about to get very salty and a little snarky, I'll try to keep it respectful and all in good fun. I am not tagging anything and am hiding my thoughts under the cut so you all don't have to be subjected to my hot takes and "Salty Acacia," if you don't want.
MAJOR Spoilers for Demon Slayer below the cut. You've been warned.
7. Is there anything you used to like but can’t stand now?
ATTACK ON TITAN/SNK. My sister says I need a swear jar because I can just rant for hours about how I was just so personally, viscerally disappointed with how that series ended (made all the worse because I had several years of investment in it). As a disclaimer, I still like my favorite characters and the side story "No Regrets" will always be **Chef's Kiss** but yeah...you could not pay me to watch or read it ever again.
But again, disclaimer, that's just me. It's my cousin's favorite anime of all time, and he loved the ending. Everyone's different.
As for anything else from fandoms I actually talk about...I'm not sure there is anything. Like everyone with an online presence, I have definitely been disturbed, appalled, and otherwise very upset by things I've seen on the internet, but that's what the block button is for (and I know it's all peace, love, & good vibes around here, but I block aggressively, actively, and unapologetically when the situation warrants it). As a general rule though, I try not to let what other people think get to me and ruin the things I love, and in that way, I don't think I have ever had a situation where something was just completely 100% ruined for me by a terrible fic, toxic fandom, or anon hatred ect. ect. I have certainly distanced myself from certain pairings and certain fandoms because of that, but I wouldn't say any of them have ever reached the level of "I can't stand it now." If anything, I sometimes feel a little contrary and dig my heels in on that thing in a petty revenge, "Well in that case, I'll just like this more" kind of way, if that makes sense?
All of that said, I have no patience for nasty, toxic fandom environments, and I stay away from those even if it's a media I really like i.e. you mentioned MHA in one of your salty asks...I wrote my one platonic friendship fic and got the hell outta there (nothing bad happened to me but it just wasn't worth it to take any chances). But that doesn't mean I don't enjoy it in real life and sometimes talk about it with my sisters and irl friends. I just don't want to discuss it online. It's not worth the headache & drama.
I definitely get fandom fatigue sometimes where the aggressiveness and toxicity of the fans of a certain pairing or character I already don't like just intensifies my dislike for that thing. But that's really only ever happened with things I already don't like or don't have an opinion on at all, which I don't think that really fits the prompt here.
10. Most disliked arc? Why?
Fairy Tail: The anime-only Celestial Spirit Arc by a landslide. It was so boring and had so many pacing issues. I literally fell asleep during it and didn't even both going back. I'm also super bitter towards that arc because my sister got so bored during it that she quit the anime (right before getting the best arc Tartaros). I keep begging her to pick it up again and just skip the stupid Celestial Spirit Arc but she swears she is a completionist and would never be able to do it. So yeah. Can't stand that one! The only positive thing I could remotely say about it was that Levy on the game show was kind of entertaining, but overall the whole arc was kind of just like a boring bizarre dream I'd like to forget about.
For arcs that appeared in both the anime and manga, I really didn't like that flute arc (which a google search has informed me is actually called the "Eisenwald Arc"). I'm glad we got Gray and Erza introduced as characters, but the arc had a lot of pacing issues and just went on for way too way, imo. They could've wrapped things up a lot faster, also I just didn't get the whole "evil flute" thing--it was really random and kind of bizarre (also not the most well thought out plan in the world). I will say this arc gets more points than the Celestial Spirit Arc because my sister and I had so much fun making Kokushibo flute jokes.
Black Clover: Gotta go with the anime only arc here too because again, it was boring and didn't have a lot of bearing on the series as a whole. It also felt like a major let down after the high stakes of the Elf Arc. Honestly just not a fan of that one.
If I had to pick a manga arc...uh...I honestly don't know. Maybe the Sosshi village arc? But only because I thought it was better in the anime where they really took the time to flesh out Magna's backstory. It felt more rushed in the manga, but I don't dislike it as much as that anime only one.
If I can pick a character arc, freaking FINRAL'S!! Like what happened here?! It was so, so good...until it wasn't. I JUST CAN'T WITH THE AMOUNT OF REGRESSION. It makes me want to beat my head against the wall even more than he is! But I think this was about story arcs, not characters arc so I'll refrain from ranting here.
25. Would you change the ending of Demon Slayer?
This is kind of a complicated one. My sister and I were just talking about this because she feels there was too much character death, but I feel it was a justified and appropriate amount for the high stakes of the series (even if it was devastating). So for the sake of this discussion, let's assume that the author had a "character death quota" (or a set number of characters who were going to be killed off by the end of the series). If that was the case, I would have axed Uzui at the end of the Entertainment District Arc and saved Genya in the final arc.
If there was a believable/reasonable way that Muichiro could have gone into god-mode and defeated Kokushibo without dying, I would have saved him too, having Uzui take his "death slot." Then I would have saved Genya by having Sanemi die to protect him (which would have been a much more satisfying ending to his arc, in my opinion).
As sad as the other deaths were (*weeps about ObaMitsu*) Muichiro and Genya were children. While it's realistic for them to die, it's especially tragic, and if I got to rewrite the ending, I would prioritize saving them.
Though to be perfectly fair, I would have been much happier with the ending if Uzui had died in the Entertainment District Arc and any of our heroes who died in the final battle survived instead. I'll forever be salty that Uzui of all people somehow managed to survive to the end when so many others did not, especially since his arc had already wrapped up and him dying in the Entertainment District would have been a satisfying conclusion to his story whereas so many other characters who did get axed had storylines that felt unfinished (Genya especially).
Also, Himejima should have played the flute at Kokushibo causing him to lose his cool in the infinity castle so much faster. I'm really upset this didn't happen. (Kidding but I would’ve loved to see him just go completely unhinged over the flute. I make way too many Kokushibo flute jokes…)
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𝐀𝐌 𝐈 𝐒𝐔𝐏𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐈𝐙𝐄?
➢ bakugo and his manipulative s/o
note: let's keep the angst train rolling!
characters: bakugo
content: angst, underlying manipulation, established gender-neutral relationship, toxic reader, lemme sprinkle a lil angst on your feed!
words: 0.5k
He really should’ve seen this coming. The universe did have a funny habit of putting Bakugo on a pedestal before pulling the wool over his eyes. And apparently, his love life was not spared from this curse.
The relationship started fine, perfect even. It was like right out of the pages of his hidden stash of romance mangas. Just two pro heroes in love and taking the world by storm.
But despite Katsuki's wishes, the media was highly invested and did whatever it could do to learn more and more about your relationship. And boy, were you oh so happy to supply them. You constantly shared things about your relationship without his consent. And when he brought this up with you, you always brushed him off. Claiming he needed to “loosen up”. That should’ve been the first red flag.
But, Katuski chose to ignore it. Maybe he was being too uptight. He was a pro hero, his life was being documented for the world to see. Didn’t mean he had to like it though. But, for you, he would try. So, Bakugo stopped looking at your interviews, knowing they would only spur his anger. He trusted that you would know your limits on what to say.
And boy was he wrong. Constantly, reporters, other pro heroes, and even his friends would ask him about things you said. And when questioned, you always gave him the same sorry excuse.
“I’m just giving the people what they want.” Another red flag.
So yet again, Katuski tried to keep his cool and ignored it. Maybe this was just how being a pro-hero was. Yet still, something felt off. After all, he was a fairly intelligent guy with subpar intuition. All the alarms were going off in his head that something wasn’t right. But Bakugo didn’t listen. You were his s/o, whom he was deeply in love with. The one who had seen him at his lowest and held him close at night. You would never do anything to hurt him. Right?
The last straw was when Katsuki found out about the “engagement”. How could you go on record stating that he proposed to you? He didn’t even have a ring! And of course, when he confronted you, all you had were the same excuses. But Bakugo wasn't taking it this time. Words were exchanged and bags were packed that night. You were out of his hair and hopefully taking your toxicity with you.
But nothing is ever that easy, since not even 48 hours later his name had been dragged through the mud multiple times. It seemed like every news outlet was criticizing him for things he didn’t do. The poor saps were wrapped around your finger as you made him out to be the bad guy.
And as he watched the whole country turn on him, it left Katsuki wondering,
“Am I supposed to apologize?”
➢ thank you so much for reading! i hope you enjoyed and don't forget that Jesus loves you, to drink water, eat some food, and get some rest :))
➢ taglist: 🫧
@megurulvr @pnkweb @mypimpademia
#.angiewrites#bakugo angst on the main !#my hero academia x black!reader#my hero academia x poc!reader#my hero academia x reader#my hero academia#mha#mha x reader#mha x poc!reader#mha x black!reader#bnha#bnha x reader#bnha x poc!reader#bnha x black!reader#bakugou katsuki#bakugo x reader#bakugo x poc!reader#bakugo x black!reader#katuski x reader#katuski x poc!reader#katsuki x black!reader
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why do you think there's this disparity between doyoung as taeyong promos overall as soloists (that all fuels the fire to the already existent akgae fanwars) ? not blaming doyoung but just curious i guess sm doesn't see potential for ty to reach the gp meanwhile doyoung has and is doing it
but TY had a full album ready but sm decided to go with a mini for tap meanwhile DY released a full album on his debut
jut wanna discuss
The main reason is that Taeyong went to the military. He will dissapear from the public's eye for two years. It's a huge time period in SK. Idols fear they won't comeback to their level of pre-enlistment popularity for a reason. Taeyong also talked a lot about this fear. Of being forgotten.
There is no point investing in trying to catch new fans if they won't be given easy means to develop real interest (media and tv appearences, concerts, merch, new albums).
Just think of how JaeDo are believed to be a dead ship by newer fans because there is little concent from thm. It is the older fans, who knew JaeDo pre 2020, are still very dedicated. It is the same idea with Tae and his core fans. The fans he already has will wait for him. The viewers of TV-shows he could have appeared in - will not care.
Secondly, the time of album preparation. Taeyong had to release early, before his enlistment. He even had to shoot his MV in Japan, and discuss arrangement of his songs deep in the night, half awake. He had no time to go on many programmes.
There is little need, really, to introduce Taeyong. Everyone knows he is a great rapper and dancer. He is front and centre in 127 MVs, he has his own multiple performance clips, features, special stages, solo stages (Super M, Link). If someone develops an interest "hm, is this guy any good as an artist?", there is no lack of material for them to watch on YT. Meanwhile there are so called NCTzens who don't think Doyoung can sing that well. Do needs to be introduced as a real deal. And away from k-pop, as a soloist he sings in other genres (pop-rock and band music). Lots of live singing clips thus are needed. There was a comment "YT keeps offering me vids with this guy, is he OK? he sings so much" (paraphrasing).
Tae has lots of tiktoks for Tap era. Fans of other idols he danced with had seen those reels. Thai actors did his challenge a lot. His promotion works on TT, on the internet, through virality (remember the case with "Zoo") and inside k-pop sphere. He has always caught people's eye by looks and moves alone.
Doyoung, on the other hand, is known to general public as a variety personality. His potential audience as a soloist, people who like ballads, Korean music, go to festivals and musicals, don't find new artists on tiktok. Melon top100 chart, YT programmes, TV programmes with live singing are what they tap into.
Do got a concert tour because he wants to sing as much as possible, to be in a band. Tae got a fanmeet tour because he wanted the love from the fans, the reassurance that they will stay before his dissapearence. (Plus, as I said before, he should have been busy with 127 preparations in March).
Doyoung came up with the way he wants to see his promotions unfold. Documentaries, medleys - his idea. He supervised it. He pushed for more.
Fans count numbers, but forget about contents. Taeyong's promo clips were very innovative, fun, effort was put in developing them. Wasn't his abduction video memorable? Despite very pressing circumstances, very short time to work, Tae's comeback was of high quality (photoshoots, the MV, stages, his 2 day concert was prepared better than Link).
Shooting singing Doyoung five times is not a big deal, it is easy to increase the number of uploaded promotional material. Heh, antis counted "medley clips" as content, when it is just a track playing over a circled on itself short video of nature (that you buy on stock sites).
Taeyong had two albums in the same year. Who gets two albums same year right away? Even Baekhyun didn't. And fans dare complain.
Tae had songs he wrote in thepast. However, those songs needed to be re-recorded and remastered. We've seen it in bts video. Either there was no time to record enough songs for a full album, or Tae's songs were lacking/didn't fit the overall sound of the album. Remember how DJJ re-recorded "Ordinary" a year later (we can sing better now), how "Can we go back" was re-arranged for the album (bless, the track was saved for me). Songs take time, SM works up to 6 months on one song.
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