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kitten4sannie · 2 months

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ᴛᴀꜱᴛᴇ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴠᴇɴᴏᴍ

ꜰᴇᴀʀ ᴘʟᴀʏ/ꜰʟᴏɢɢɪɴɢ ➠ ʏᴜɴʜᴏ/ʏᴇᴏꜱᴀɴɢ

pairing: enemy emperor! yunho x empress! reader x scribe! yeosang

genre: historical au, smut

summary: you have another tension filled meeting with the stubborn man that wants nothing more than to conquer and own you. your new dedicated scribe records everything.

w.c: 4k

warnings: hard dom! yunho, bratty pillow princess! reader, bricked up witness! yeosang, monster cock alerttt, cnc, light mxm, exhibitionism/voyeurism, name calling/pet names, degradation, dirty talk (this man…he’s so nasty in this i’m not even sorry…), lots of manhandling, spanking/flogging, dacryphilia, half dressed kink idk, spit, hair grabbing, threesome elements, some cucky vibes, a little dash of praise, rough wall sex, creampie, yeosang licks everything up… AHEM, oral (receiving), fingering, cum eating, squirting

a/n: i was extremely high when i wrote this and i am down bad astronomically for yuyu and yeosang so yeah something religious happened to me during the writing process !! i mostly blame it on jackson wang bc that song is sooooo…. rfhhehwh it turns me into a rabid animal ngl anywaysss i hope you enjoy lovelies xx

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ᴄʀᴜᴇʟ ʙʏ ᴊᴀᴄᴋꜱᴏɴ ᴡᴀɴɢ

0:01 ❍─────── 4:28

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ᴘʀᴇᴠ | ꜰꜰꜰ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ | ɴᴇxᴛ

As the empress of your country’s land, it’s always been up to you to partake in the anointed trivialities that required your royal attention. Aside from drawn out, traditional ceremonies to endless horse riding and archery lessons with a seasoned member of the congregation, you spent most of your time having meetings with your supposed suitors, having to listen to their boundless, self-important monologues about their days in battle, coming to know just how much knowledge they held in combat and war strategies, and fighting the urge to pull your hand away when they would hold onto it, pleading you with their eyes for your approval. It all bored you to tears.

Though, there was a particular individual that you couldn’t seem to keep your mind off of, no matter how hard you tried. Jeong Yunho, an emperor from the land that bordered yours. A man from a bloodline that your family had gone to war with many times over the years. Despite that you were quite literally sleeping with the enemy, you couldn’t help yourself. You had never met anyone like him before. Instead of asking and pleading for your attention, time, and body, he simply took it. Took what he wanted from you without a care in the world. He wasn’t even bothered by that fact that your dear scribe still sat in the meeting room with you, hazily scribbling down everything that occurred and what was said, spilling bottles of ink onto his scrolls due to how flustered he was from witnessing the way Yunho forcefully conquered his dear empress with a domineering smirk plastered on his sweaty face, the panting emperor’s cock routinely disappearing underneath your disheveled ceremony garments and into your willing cunt.

“Your Highness, Lord Jeong should be here any second now,” your fresh-faced scribe began from across the meeting room, setting up various sized brushes in a line, smoothing out a few creases he found embedded in the elongated sleeves of his ceremony robe. He suddenly looked up at you, concern present within his widened honey brown eyes. “Should I make more tea?”

“That won’t be necessary, Yeosang, but your intention is very sweet, thank you,” you replied softly, making your way across the room in your heavy garbs, taking the time to run your fingers through your newest scribe’s hair, offering him a smile that made him drop one of his brushes. “Lord Jeong doesn’t drink much tea. He…prefers to get straight to business.”

Yeosang’s smile dropped slightly when your hand left his hair, his eyes traveling your form as you sat on your knees in front of the meeting table, watching you take a sip from your steaming celadon cup and nod your head in approval of the flavor. “Have you considered his marriage requests? I’ve read some of the letters he’s sent to you…” The young scribe blushed suddenly, his eyes lowering to look at the blank spaces on his scrolls. “They’re quite intense. Does that sort of thing interest you?”

You rested your chin inside the palm of your hand, your gold bracelets dangling from your wrist, squinting your eyes at Yeosang, your lips curling up ever so slightly. “It does, very much so. Lord Jeong is one of the most interesting men I’ve come across thus far…I’ve greatly considered his offers, despite him being the enemy.”

Yeosang tilted his head, a few locks of his hair falling into his focused eyes. “If I may ask, your Highness…What’s stopping you from accepting?”

You ran your finger around the rim of your celadon cup, looking at your reflection within the black tea, your smile fading. “I don’t want the excitement to end, Yeosang.” You looked back up at him, unable to keep yourself from smiling gently at his confused expression. “Marriage, as beautiful as it is, brings monotony, which brings contempt…”

“Ahh, I see now,” Yeosang nodded slowly, giving you a sad smile back, feeling like he understood his empress a bit more in that moment. He squeezed his fingers around the intricately carved wooden brush inside his grasp. “Your Highness, may I ask you a question?”

Just as you were about to respond, the large, jewel-encrusted doors of your meeting room opened with a groan. A tall, handsome man dressed in an extravagant, hand-sewn traditional robe came strolling in like he owned the place, holding an expensive mahogany box within his large hands.

“Oh, princess, I’ve brought you a present,” Yunho called out teasingly, walking up to the table. He acknowledged Yeosang’s presence with a nod, who bent over to bow. The confident emperor sat down across from you at the table, his eyes hooded, his lips quirked up perversely as if he was reminiscing about your previous meetings. “Hi. Did you miss me?”

You rolled your eyes, pretending as if you didn’t care about the emperor’s arrival, despite your heart and core throbbing rhythmically from him simply sitting there across from you. “What did you bring me, Yunho?”

“Something that’ll have your little scribe here pulling at his robes when I’m done using it on you…Maybe he’ll even spill his ink all over himself like your last one…” Yunho’s eyes shifted from Yeosang, who gulped, to you, who simply sipped on your tea, his long fingers rubbing along the smooth edges of the mahogany box.

You tilted your head to the side, idly biting at the tip of your manicured nail. “Is that so? Well, get on with it. I’m a busy woman, as you know, and I don’t like when my time is being wasted with nonsense.”

Yunho simply scoffed, shaking his head slightly, sitting there silently for a moment, the only sound in the room being Yeosang’s wet brush expertly sliding across the scroll and your nails tapping against your tea cup.

All you registered was the sight of Yunho swiftly getting up onto his feet and heading in your direction, his feet thumping against the mat below. Before you even realized what was happening, you were laying face down on the table, watching your tea pool out onto the sleek wood, your intricately crafted tea cup now split in individual pieces. Yunho had you held down by the neck, his fingers closing around it, his warm body pressing against yours, able to feel his stiff cock against your ass, even through your thick robes.

He chuckled at the gasp you let out, bringing his lips near your ear to purr huskily, “Am I still wasting your time, princess? Or is getting your little cunt all nice and wet for me something worthwhile?” Instead of letting you answer, Yunho simply reached past you, flipping the boxe’s lid open, bringing it closer for you to take a good look at its contents. Inside the box sat a hand-woven flog, the edges of it decorated with a silver finishing, making it glisten in the light. “Do you like your present? I got it made just for you.” He rubbed his cock along your ass, his free hand roaming over your upper thigh to the curve of your ass. “Can’t you see? I’m in love with you…”

“Oh, please.” As you tried to get up, Yunho pushed his body weight down onto you, holding your wrists down with ease. “Do you really think I’m going to let you use your little toy on me in front of my innocent scribe, Yunho? Who do you think you are?”

“I’m simply a man who’s head over heels for you, Y/N…Take some responsibility…” Yunho quickly reached past your neck and down to your chest to rip open your garments, tugging on them while you continued to resist until your bare body was revealed underneath the many layers.

Yeosang dipped his brush inside the bottle of ink with a shaky hand, his cheeks flushed, unsure if he should speak up, his eyes fixated on you, never having seen you in such an indecent state before. “Sh-should…I keep going, your Highness?”

When Yunho forcefully bent you over his knee and pulled your disheveled robe up to reveal your ass, his large hands squeezing into it, you nodded your head weakly at Yeosang, feeling a bit dizzy from being treated in such a way with your lovely dedicated scribe watching on. “Please, don’t let us stop you from doing your job, Yeosang…you’re doing so well…”

“Thank you, Your Highness…” Yeosang blushed from the praise, dipping his brush back into the ink, before pressing it to the scroll, thankful that his garments were thick enough to cover his stiffening length.

You weren’t able to reply to Yeosang when Yunho abruptly slammed his open palm against the curve of your ass, a moan leaving your lips instead of words. He smacked the other side of your ass to watch it bounce and groped along it, squeezing your sensitive flesh between his slender fingers. “That’s it…just look at that color…Wish you could see it, princess. Shall I add some pretty shades of purple and pink too? You’re my canvas, Y/N…I’m sure you’ll let me paint you with my cum next, right? Just like every time, yeah?”

“Fuck off, Yunho,” you grumbled, attempting to climb out of his lap, throbbing at the feeling of him grabbing you by the waist and holding you still, knowing you couldn’t get away even if you tried.

“You weren’t saying that last time, princess. You were begging me for more…” Yunho picked up the flog, running his fingers along the woven leather, before he cracked it in the air, making Yeosang and you jolt from the sudden loud noise, bringing joy to the emperor. “Take a deep breath for me, Y/N…”

Just as you did so, Yunho brought the flog down onto your ass, watching the individual leather straps leave pretty red marks on your skin, groaning, “So pretty… you’re so pretty for me, princess…” and repeating the motion, lacking the proper self control to stop himself, even when you began to cry, his arm wrapped tightly around your middle.

“F-fuck…! Stop!” You kicked your legs and thrashed around until you were able to wiggle out of his grasp, just barely making it over to Yeosang’s large scribing table, before Yunho slammed you down onto it, knocking over one of the ink bottles with his rough handling of you.

“Crying just for me, princess? You’re making me so hard,” Yunho sighed into your ear, moving closer to your face to lick one of your tears away, his hot breath hitting your cheek, your ass stinging more when he grabbed it roughly, bolts of pleasure shooting into your core.

“You fucking asshole…” you choked out, about to pull yourself up when the emperor pinned your hands painfully behind your back, feeling his knee press in between your thighs.

Yunho tugged more of your garments off without a care in the world, huffing and as he shoved his hand in between your thighs from behind, rubbing two fingers along your clothed cunt, before tearing it off with ease. “Ahh, that’s what I thought…You’re so wet for me, Y/N.” He looked to Yeosang, who was blushing wildly, still just sitting there and haphazardly recording the chaos that was occurring right next to him, knowing it wasn’t his place to interact in any way unless either of you allowed him to. Yunho continued to rub at your cunt, enjoying the noises you and your gushing slit were making. “Hey, scribe, make sure you make a note about how fucking soaked your empress gets from getting manhandled by an enemy emperor. That’s an important detail, isn’t it, princess?”

You struggled underneath the man, starting to feel ink soaking into your expensive garments, some of it staining your cheek. “Yunho, get off of me, or so help me–” You suddenly found yourself gasping for air, having been flogged again, though this time some of the leather straps reached your cunt, feeling it sting pleasurably in between your trembling thighs.

Yunho looked over to Yeosang, who had his fingers clenched around his brush, his free hand in between his clenching thighs. “Hey, Yeosang, do you know why the previous scribe quit?” When he shook his head, Yunho grinned, admiring the pattern of bruises he left on your ass, running his fingers lightly over them. “He couldn’t handle watching his beloved empress cry and take what I so graciously gave her, but you can, can’t you, Yeosang?”

He bit his bottom lip, feeling conflicted, not sure if he should nod or not. He instead looked to you, his eyebrows knitted together with concern. “Your Highness…” Yeosang whispered softly, hesitantly placing one hand on top of yours, holding it tightly.

You looked up at him, smiling gently, blowing a bit of hair out of your hazy eyes, reaching your other hand over to rub the top of his knuckles. “It’s okay, Yeosang…I want this…”

Yunho grabbed you by the hair, forcefully lifting up your head so that he could get a good look at you, practically drooling at this point, his cock throbbing against your backside. “Say that again…Let me hear it…”

You turned your head to look at him, smiling sweetly, before you pursed your lips and sent a wad of spit onto his cheek, satisfied with the way it dripped down along his tightening jaw. “If you hurry up and fuck me instead of continuing on with this bullshit, I’ll think about it.”

Turned on beyond measure, Yunho grabbed your own jaw, forcing it open so that he could send a wad of spit straight down your throat, chuckling darkly at the moan that escaped your parted lips. “This is why you’re my favorite, princess. You’re such a bratty little thing, just aching to be put in your place, huh? You want me to do that? Fuck you into submission in front of your sweet little scribe? Just say the word….”

This time around, Yunho could see the desperation on your flushed face, your lips forming a pout. “Please…” you whined, surprising yourself and the two men watching you with your sudden act of obedience.

“Oh my god, that’s fucking it right there…” Yunho groaned, pulling at the sash wrapped securely around his slim waist and pulling it loose, so that he could gain access to his undergarments, quickly tugging his stiff, leaking cock out. “Do you draw portraits too, scribe? This slut’s pretty face should be kept in the history books…”

Yeosang nervously shook his head, starting to spread the ink across his scroll from watching the way Yunho pushed you up against the wall, so close to Yeosang that his garments spilled into his lap, forcefully wrapping your legs around his waist, just as he fully sheathed himself inside you, your soaked panties pushed to the side.

“No? That’s too bad…Well, at least jot down the fact that I conquer your Highness’s tight little cunt every time I give her a visit…” Yunho huffed out, smiling at you with his canines showing, his hands cemented tightly around your bare waist, bringing himself down to one of your tits to suck it into his open mouth.

“God, will you just–aaah–shut the fuck up and…nnngh…fuck me properly?” you asked in between pants, barely able to take the emperor’s thick, oversized cock without feeling like you were going to break, your nails digging into his straining upper back through his garments, one side of his robe starting to drape off one of his broad shoulders.

“Yeah? You want it rough just like every other time, don’t you, whore?” Yunho groaned against your skin, dragging his tongue up over your spit-laced tit to attack your neck with his lips and teeth, leaving your skin in various shades of red and purple. “Write this down too, scribe. The people should know that this pretty princess can’t cum unless she has a horsecock ramming into her cunt. Isn’t that right, Your Highness?”

You couldn’t even speak at this point, from the way Yunho lifted one leg up onto the scribe table, using the leverage to fuck into you as deep and hard as he could, about to cream yourself from the way he kept you pinned down, just using you like a doll made for his pleasure.

Now almost directly underneath his empress and the enemy emperor’s rapidly joining bodies, Yeosang couldn’t help but look up, fixated on the way your cunt spread open each time Yunho slammed himself inside your clenching hole, feeling a few drops of your mixed arousal drip down onto his face and roll down his warm cheek. He gingerly opened his mouth and held his tongue out, now pressing his brush directly into the soaked paper, leaning his back against the wall behind him, his hand beginning to rub at his pre-cum soaked cock that was still trapped underneath his heavy garments.

“God, you’re so fucking wet, princess…I think I might…slip out…” Yunho sighed heavily against your ear, roughly nibbling it with the aid of one of his canine teeth, slowly sliding his cock out of you and slapping his heavy cock against your abdomen, smearing his pre cum onto your skin.

The feeling of being completely empty just as you were about to cum almost sent you into a full-blown rage, practically ready to start another war with Yunho if he didn’t stick his cock back inside you. You abruptly grabbed him by the hair, clutching a tuft of his damp icy blond locks, leaning in so that your lips ghosted his. “Fuck me, you goddamn bastard. Make me cum.”

This time Yunho didn’t play any games, simply rubbing his cockhead back and forth over your throbbing clit just to make you shudder against him, before he slipped back inside, immediately pounding himself into you, essentially leaving you breathless. “Look at you just taking it, princess… I know it’s big…You’re doing so well for me…taking it so good, princess…I’m so proud…”

The sudden bout of praise coming from the enemy in such a sickly sweet tone, especially while he began to pump hot loads of cum into you, sent you barreling over the edge, not doing your dear scribe any favors when you began to babble nonsensically, tears beginning to fall from your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure taking over your body.

“Yeahhh, take it, princess…I’m gonna knock you up so you have to marry me.” Yunho chuckled darkly, his fingers squeezing into your hips, pressing a rough kiss to your lips, biting at your bottom lip before he pulled away.

“You’re disgusting,” you huffed, grimacing at him, despite the fact that your thighs were still trembling.

“Don’t say that, princess,” Yunho whined, leaning his forehead against yours, slowly pulling out inch by inch. “You know how hard that makes me…” He looked down to Yeosang, who was breathing heavily underneath the both of you, his mouth agape, splashes of arousal decorating his pretty, flushed face and damp hair. “Hey, scribe, you’ve been a good boy just sitting here and watching the whole time. You want a taste of your Highness’s used cunt?”

Feeling sufficiently dizzy, Yeosang looked to you for approval, feeling his cock pulse at your slow dazed nod, bringing his hands up to your thighs to caress them, bringing his lips up to kiss and lick at the wetness around your cunt with a gentleness that would’ve had you collapsing if your legs weren’t securely hooked over Yunho’s shoulders.

“Make sure you get it all…” Yunho murmured softly, completely pulling out of you with a wet, shlick sound, dribbles of his cum beginning to gush out of your gaping hole, allowing Yeosang to collect it inside his drooling mouth. Yunho brought a free hand to Yeosang’s head, holding him against your cunt, finding great joy in the desperate, sloppy manner in which he ate you out, like a delirious, thirsty man that had just found a hidden oasis.

It was when Yeosang slipped his slender fingers deep inside your pulsing cunt, his hot mouth closed around your sensitive clit, that you began to whine and whimper, one arm hooked around Yunho’s neck for support, your free hand going down to grab onto Yeosang’s hair when Yunho let go, gazing down to find him already looking up at you with half closed eyes.

“It’s so good, you’re so good for me, Yeosang, I’m going to…oh my god…”

Yeosang clutched one side of your bruised ass with one hand, curling three of his fingers inside you and rubbing them against your clenching walls, lapping at your clit, his thighs closing together, his cheeks bright red from the praise.

All the while, Yunho simply watched on, his chest swelling with pride, occasionally leaving kisses and licks on your straining, marked-up neck. “Cum for him, will you, princess? Won’t you soak his pretty face with your squirt?”

Having your lovely scribe in between your legs, eating your cunt like it was his assigned job to do so, having your sworn enemy pressing his heated, sweaty body against yours, more filthy words leaving his lips for your shared pleasure was all far too much. “Yeosang…!”

Yeosang found himself being covered in a warm spray of liquid, tasting your squirt on his tongue, closing his eyes for a moment to bask in the pleasure of it all, opening them back up just in time for you to pull him into your arms, your bare body against his half-dressed one. “Your Highness…”

“I didn’t mean to do such a dirty thing to you, Yeosang, I’m so sorry…” You used your sleeves to wipe some of the wetness away from his face, blushing more than you had during the whole night.

“Your Highness…” he repeated, softer this time, giving you a shy smile, pulling his robe apart until you could see what he had done to himself.

Your eyes widened at the milky stains of cum splattered across the insides of his ceremonial garments, looking back up into his eyes, returning his shy smile. “If I had known you had such an affinity for me, I wouldn’t have looked for suitors this long. Who needs them when I have you?”

Yeosang reached up to hold his heated cheeks, dumbfounded by the string of events, unable to believe that his beloved empress could feel such a way about him. “It’d be an honor to always be by your side…”

You giggled, reaching up to place a hand over his, your thumb brushing over his pretty birthmark.

Yunho cleared his throat, running his fingers through his sweaty hair, his robe already wrapped ornately around his body, looking like he did when he first entered the meeting room, besides the afterglow he was now sporting. “I’d love to stay here longer and experience this beautiful moment with you both, but my job here is done.” He patted both of your heads, as if he were a proud father, before heading taking a few elegant strides towards the door. Before he left, he turned back to look at you, his tongue poking into one of his canine teeth, giving you a shit-eating smirk. “Until next time, princess.”

“There isn’t going to be a next time,” you muttered to yourself, rolling your eyes, your arms still around Yeosang, watching your smug enemy leave the room with a soft chuckle.

Yeosang chuckled softly, reaching up to run his fingers through your hair, feeling confident enough to share his thoughts with you. “Now, let’s not kid ourselves, Your Highness.”

“Heyyy,” you whined, giving him a pout, watching him pick up his drying brush up from the table. “Don’t you dare write that down.” When he motioned to dip his brush into the spilled ink, you hugged onto him from the side. “Yeosangggg, I’m still your empress!”

Biting the inside of your cheek, you rested your chin on his shoulder. “By the way, what was that question you wanted to ask me?”

Yeosang gulped, studying the ink-stained table below for a second, before turning his head to look at you, your faces just centimeters away from one another. “Will you replace me one day, Your Highness?”

Your eyes widened slightly, taking in your scribe’s vulnerability, wanting to return the same energy to him, as he was deserving of it. “Never, Yeosang. You’re here to stay.”

Yeosang blushed fervently, dropping the brush back down to hug you into his arms, nuzzling your neck gently, his hair tickling your skin, about to melt inside his empress’s grasp. “Promise?”

You wrapped your arms tighter around him, pressing your lips to his cheek, waiting for him to look back into your eyes to whisper, “Promise.”

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#cultofdionysusnet #cromernet #wonderlandnet #ateez #ateez smut #ateez yunho #ateez yeosang #yunho smut #yeosang smut #ateez x reader #ateez fanfic #ateez fic

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ziorite · 2 months

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crying laughing (mostly just crying) over the long goodbye job rn because what the fuck guys. what the FUCK.

(spoilers for the last episode of leverage season 5)

i still had so much hope for them even after hardison fell and parker got shot. i was crossing my fingers because eliot will be there and they’ll get away because they always get away ?? right ?? but then they make it the van and eliot gets shot. right in the fucking chest.

THE VAN SCENE. I WAS DISTRAUGHT. DISTRAUGHT Y’ALL. AND THEN HARDISON’S LAST WORDS ARE TO WONDER IF ELIOT IS OKAY ??? “HERE I AM”??? WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT. AND THE THREE OF THEM FUCKING DIE HOLDING EACH OTHER’S HANDS WHAT DID THEY DO THAT TO US FOR. (something something parker dying alone when she’s finally learned what it means to have a family something something eliot dies first because to watch the people he’s dedicated his life to protecting die in front of him is to die a second and third time something something)

and then the cherry on top when nate and sophie look back and the three of them are dead and bleeding out and clutching on to each other in death what do they do ??? they don’t even consider giving themselves up they drive that van up the bridge and into the damn river.

nate’s enraged yelling at the agent had me wide eyed with my hand over my mouth. fucking STUNNED yall. nate is really no one’s favorite but my god the fucking pain in his voice. 10/10. BUT THEN of course that’s not all there is to it. the switch from grieving fury to composed nonchalance was both peak comedy and absolute whiplash.

AND HERE’S STERLING !! everyone’s favorite slime ball <3 and ho ho ? he’s mad at nate for killing the rest of the team ?? they grew on him didn’t they— like clumps of adorable mold that just keep coming back <3

and finally. the master plan is revealed. sterling did scare the living shit out of me shooting “hardison” like that but of course nate had a better plan than what they believed. crazy to think that the whole damn emotional rollercoaster was really just set up for the actual break in. (eliot’s exasperated eye roll and fall at nate’s “bang !” was everything.) starring sterling as the trojan horse! an amazing choice all around.

AND !! we have a proposal !! proposals plural actually because no way in fucking hell was that not a confession from eliot. that scene was the height of romance and i will be DAMNED if someone tries to tell me that was just normal best friend shit. OT3 IS REAL !!!

in conclusion: love leverage, they have the amazingest show to ever show and a finale better than any other out there. 200/10 would watch again and i am currently penning a love letter to john rogers and dean devlin.

#leverage #the long goodbye job #nate ford #nathan ford #sophie devereaux #eliot spencer #parker #parker leverage #alec hardison #leverage ot3 #thiefsome

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penvisions · 16 days

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buckles and barley {new series masterlist}

Fandom: Kingsmen - The Golden Circle

Pairing: Rancher! Jack Daniels x Ranchhand! Reader

Summary: You seek out a secluded ranch outside the city limits at the behest of your ill father. In search of one of his old friends he had lost contact with after returning from a deployment and a catastrophic fallout. But instead you find the charming, dedicated, and rather handsome son of the man who had already passed, Jack Daniels. A night of bonding over the iron wills of your fathers and you find yourself falling into bed with him, only to be called away by the hospital that your father had been rushed too.

Devastated but free from the ties of your former life, you return to the ranch a changed woman. With the help of a man who holds his own grief, you learn how to tend to the horses and maintain the land. Together, you dance around each other as the seasons change. Cultivating a life that you never envisioned for yourself.

Wordcount: undetermined

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, death of a loved one, strained family dynamics, grief, implied verbal abuse, implied anger issues, allusions to past relationships, reader finds herself, reader takes control of her life, minor injuries, accident prone reader, allusions to infidelity, miscommunication, pining, mutual pining, protective jack, adult content, sexual content, smut, p in v, unprotected p in v, oral (f and m receiving), more to be added as the story develops!

A/N: excited to delve into this once {by the grit of sandpaper} is concluded. will be doing a little bit of a different approach with this one, it's a new pedro character for me and i wanted to try writing a majority of this one before i begin posting to help establish a solid posting schedule!

ao3 link || navigation || main masterlist || ko-fi

sneakie peek || fic teaser || chapter one header

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clanwarrior-tumbly · 6 months

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HCs: Stereotypical Barbie, Beach Ken, & Allan reacting to their S/O dressing up as them for Halloween

Note: Made this a little bit "meta" (and by that I mean the characters are aware that their outfits exist as marketable costumes in the Real World).

........

Stereotypical Barbie

Among the many things she learned (and is still learning) about the Real World, it's that the "glorification of rampant consumerism" went beyond her toyline and made a LOT of sense during Halloween.

She never expected to see her western, jumpsuit, and gingham outfits stuffed into bags when you both visit a Spirit Halloween store (although it was neat seeing an entire section dedicated to Barbie).

And she was especially surprised to learn that "Barbie and Ken" were gonna be one of the most popular couples' costumes this year (it's a little awkward for her since she's not with Ken anymore, but she won't complain much).

Speaking of costumes, she never understood why so many of them had to be bloody and scary--or cute, bloody, and scary all rolled into one.

She'll quickly gloss over them and hurry back to the cute costumes, often tugging you along with her before you can protest.

Compared to Barbieland, Halloween is...definitely celebrated differently here.

She still doesn't get why humans would wanna buy fake severed limbs for decorations, nor why they created such scary lifelike robots.

But she does a total 180 when a girl dressed up in her western outfit passes her by on Halloween night, saying "Hi Barbie" with such a big smile on her face.

Suddenly, she likes this holiday a little bit better, especially after seeing other ladies posting their own Barbie-inspired Halloween costumes on social media.

It's the scariest season, and yet there's so much joy going around as she realizes women are still coming together and lifting each other up!

Her happiness only grows when she arrives at your doorstep with candy, and you surprise her by dressing up as a Barbie yourself!

When she realizes you chose one of her outfits specifically, she can't stop gushing over you.

It's touching, especially since she wasn't really a "remarkable" Barbie doll; you literally could have picked any other doll's outfit to inspire your costume...

And yet out of all of them, you wanted to be her.

It genuinely made her feel special and so so loved.

Beach Ken

Like Barbie, he had very different expectations of Halloween.

He learned men were usually the ones who "protected" their partners from the scary stuff. So he tries his best.

Yet he's always the one curling up in your lap and/or hiding his face whenever a mild jumpscare happens in a movie.

But he loves loves loves dressing up for the holiday and decorating (although at times he forgets and will accidentally scare himself if he bumps into the decor--ie hanging bats).

He insists on being a cowboy this year (toy horse stick included) and reaaaally hopes you'll match with him.

Instead, you have a better idea and surprise him by your costume:

It's him!

Or more specifically one of his outfits (beach, dance party, rollerblade, western, kenough hoodie, etc.) that you either picked up online or handcrafted yourself over the course of several months/weeks.

Regardless, he's gonna cry when he realizes that you chose to dress up as him, of all people.

For the longest time, Ken looked towards other people for inspiration, especially when he first learned about the patriarchy.

But to learn that he's YOUR inspiration???

He feels like the luckiest man/doll alive.

Hell, you wore his outfit better than him somehow.

When you both are walking up and down the street, he's delighted seeing other people dressed in his western or rollerblade outfits (never mind them being so cheaply-made and mass produced), glad that the Real World's starting to appreciate Ken again.

But compared to you?

You were a ten.

Allan

He was sorta adamant towards Halloween, at first.

If anything, he worries for your sanity (and perhaps humanity's sanity as a whole) after you showed him some classic horror movies.

Poor guy is just baffled as to why anybody would like seeing that kind of stuff...and how it doesn't keep them wide awake at night.

But once you tell Allan about all the other customs and traditions, he partakes in them--although anything involving blood is a no-go for him.

On Halloween night, you both agree to just kick back and hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.

His "costume" is the outfit he usually had on in Barbieland, but he's worried that it pales in comparison to whatever you're planning to wear.

All you said over text was that it's a "big surprise", so he's anxious to see it.

He's well aware of Barbie and Ken having their own costumes, and he tries not to sulk about there being no Allan costumes in this world.

Yet when he opens the door, he nearly drops the candy bowl upon seeing you wearing a similarly striped shirt, shorts, and sandals.

You decided to dress up as him!! As an Allan doll!!

Now he finally realizes why you've spent hours couped up in your room.

There's a good chance he's gonna get all weepy over this (and frantically claim that it's allergies when a few concerned trick-or-treaters come up to the door a minute later).

But now he takes back whatever he said about nobody in the Real World caring about Allan.

Because you cared.

#barbie x reader #barbie 2023 x reader #barbie movie x reader #stereotypical barbie #stereotypical barbie x reader #margot barbie #margot barbie x reader #beach ken #ryan gosling ken #ryan gosling ken x reader #ken x reader #beach ken x reader #michael allan #allan x reader #halloween #headcanons

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petit-papillion · 5 months

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Anyone who thinks Charles would be crazy to sign for 5 years with Ferrari, have you considered:

There are only 20 spots in Formula 1. Even some of the world's most incredibly talented drivers can't get a seat. And most drivers whose Dads don't own an F1 team are happy to get a 2-year contract. 5-year contracts are a rare occurrence. Ask Valtteri what it feels like to drive for years for a top team on 1-year contracts.

10 teams to pick from, with the top 5 claiming all but 2 podiums this past season. So if Charles were to leave Ferrari and not take a step backward in his career, he'd have to go to one of the remaining top 4 teams: RBR, Merc, AM, or McLaren. At Red Bull, he could get podiums and occasionally win races, but he'd never be number 1 while Max is there. Lewis could unexpectedly retire, but until he does, Merc is locked in with him. And while i think Toto would totally want to snap Charles up, if the opportunity arose, not sure I see this happening any time soon. McLaren have a pretty good lineup with both drivers having contracts past 2024. Finally, AM will only have a spot available if either Stroll Sr sells the team or Alonso is forced into retirement. Neither of which seem likely to happen before Charles's contract is up.

Charles lives and breathes Ferrari. He is a tifosi at heart. He loves driving for Ferrari for all its faults and shortcomings. He doesn't just say Forza Ferrari Sempre, he says it from the heart. He wears his Forza Ferrari bracelet until it breaks. He dedicates his end-of-season helmet to all the Ferrari team members. He points to the Prancing Horse on his suit with passion. He wears so many Ferrari clothes outside of work, we are shocked when he doesn't wear them for a while. He spends hours signing autographs for tifosi. And when they ask him if he will ever leave Ferrari, he immediately and confidently responds with, "Never."

Tying in with the previous point: the tifosi adore him. We have a priest praying for him. Grown men getting his name and/or number tattooed next to the Ferrari logo. Italian journalists waxing poetic about him. Fans singing for him under his hotel window. And a single hand gesture from Charles is enough to stop a crowd from booing Max. He gets showered with a 1,000 bracelets, and he accepts (and often immediately wears) them all with a grateful smile. This kind of adulation from the tifosi is not something he will automatically get elsewhere, and I am sure he would miss it dearly if he went to another team.

Charles has said over and over again that he wants to become WDC with Ferrari. Yes, he has mentioned that if he no longer believes in the project, he will look elsewhere. But Fred is only just starting. This year's car was inherited from Binotto. It takes a while to replace staff and to implement new procedures. Where it was possible to make quick changes, we have already seen improvements - most notably with the pit stops, but also with them bringing that meaningful floor upgrade in Suzuka. Fred has said some staff will not even work on next year's car, but on the 2025 car. Changes take time and we are not privy to as much information as Charles is. He has said he believes in Fred and what he is planning.

So to have job security for the next 5 years (btw equaling the number of years Michael Schumacher drove for Ferrari...) with a team he adores, whose fans worship the ground he walks on, working with a team principal with whom he not only has a fantastic working relationship with but who seems to share his vision for the future - it doesn't get much better than this. Yes, I can see that keeping your options open would be good, but I'm sure there will be clauses built into the contract to allow both parties a way out if things don't pan out the way they envision.

In the meantime, if the article in La Gazzetta Sportiva is true, Charles would be the definite N°1 driver for Ferrari. And with Fred also seeing him as the leader of the team, and the car being more developed to suit his driving style, without a doubt his confidence would grow, which in turn would help him become an even better driver and lead to more podiums and wins.

#while i know ferrari will find new ways to screw up races for charles #and therefore there is more suffering in our future #i also believe in fred #and even if charles never realizes his dream of wdc with ferrari #i also cannot see him driving for any other team than ferrari #charles leclerc #f1 contracts #winter break 2023-24 #fred vasseur #scuderia ferrari #this got really long #thank you for reading all the way to the end!

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mariinawrites · 1 year

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Wanted for Pleasure - Simon 'Ghost' Riley

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Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Fem!Reader

Tags: nsfw, smut, neck kisses, dom Simon Riley, Angst

Recommended songs to listen while reading: Melting by Kali Uchis, Stay by Ari Abdul, Wild Horse by Darci, West Coast by Lana Del Rey

Word Count: 5,100~ (approximately)

A/N: Something about seeing Simon as a detective gets me in a chokehold oh my god. Have funsies! Minors do not interact!

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Being a detective at your local police department was not an easy feat. Every single day consisted of such heavy work and many files to take care of and to file properly, as well as capture many criminals in the district along with your temporary team. You pride yourself on your sharp instincts and relentless pursuit of justice. As a seasoned investigator, you really saw it all – murders, robberies and a long ongoing string of complex cases that always had you putting your skills to the test.

By your superior, you were just recently assigned to a high-profile task force within the police department. A little intimidated by it, only because the group was full of well respected detectives. You were grateful your superior finally recognized your good and hard accomplished work to even assign you there. It would be a new chapter for you, and you didn’t want to mess up at all. Walking into the room where the task force was located, you scouted your eyes around the room clutching your brown box full of desk belongings and unfinished criminal files jumbled in there. You counted 7 desks with each detective working, not lifting their eyes from their screen to even acknowledge your arrival, as one desk was fully empty ready for you to use, all the way in the back, secluded, just the way you liked it.

You place your box on your new desk as you quietly started placing things in their respective places, as your superior walks in full of energy. It was too early, being 8:00 am, to be that energetic. He took a grand sip from his coffee cup in his hand as he placed it on a pile of papers as he clapped to get everyones’ attention.

“Okay everyone, listen up!” He exclaimed.

“We have a new addition to the team, and she is another fellow detective transferred from the other force. Now, treat her as a part of you all now, include her in missions and no sabotaging funny business you hear!” He said aggressively, causing you to smile gently as you stood up to introduce yourself.

“I hope we can all work together well, nice to meet you all!” You said nicely towards all your new accomplices as you gave a warm smile to each fellow detective, as some returned the same, until you reached the last detective. Your smile fades slowly as you realize who is there. Your breath hitches slightly as you sit back down slowly.

Your ex-boyfriend Simon Riley.

What the hell is he doing there? You thought.

You were known for your unwavering dedication to your job, but nothing had tested your resolve like the day your heart shattered. Once, you and Detective Simon Riley had shared a love that burned brighter than the sun itself. But now, all that remained were the charred remains of broken memories and shattered trust. It broke you, broke you so much you had to take a couple months off, claiming you were on “sick leave.”

Things ended between you two so abruptly, considering he was the one who ended it after you found out he cheated on you supposedly with another member from another task force, in that same damn police department you were in presently. You were dumb to even start a relationship with him, but oh did you love this man more than anything else in the entire world. He was a man of very few words and was rather cold and mysterious, your mind was all in a frenzy not knowing what to do next as you clutch your pen in your hand, trying to get started to file documents, but you can’t.

You were too focused on realizing that you were now forced to work with your ex boyfriend, and the fact that you still couldn’t get over him, despite it being 3 years ago. You weren’t going to lie to yourself, no matter how hard you tried over the years, you could never get over him. You were forced to succumb and bury the heartbreak you felt as well as the feelings you still miraculously still had for him. This was all too fast for you to process, you didn’t know what to do next, hell, you couldn’t even look up because you were afraid he was staring at you, which would’ve been absolutely awkward.

Your hands started to grow cold as you felt your stomach twisting, giving you the feeling that you had to throw up. You shot up quickly as you grabbed your jacket from your chair as you burst through the door to the bathroom, having 3 team detectives look up confused at your sudden action. Simon did not even bother caring, as he lit a cigarette from his leather jacket pocket, shooting a few puffs upwards as he analyzed a murder case file simultaneously.

Clutching the bathroom sink, you splashed water on your face to wake you up. You couldn’t possibly be feeling like this. This would hinder your profession and possibly, your superior could notice the change in your work ethic and send you out, which would be really embarrassing. It couldn’t be that bad, just work with the team as if there was nothing between you and Simon. Easy right?

Wrong.

You dried your face as you paced from side to side in the small bathroom, thinking of a good way for an entrance back to your desk without feeling queasy again. You decided to hype yourself up and not be cooped up in the bathroom as you left, making way to the office again. Pushing the door open slightly, not to disturb anyone else working, you quickly went back to your seat and sat down without gathering any attention to yourself, as you began filing a report for one of the cases you were assigned to.

As you were too engulfed in working on the case file while simultaneously concealing the feelings you were battling in your mind, as well as processing the fact that you are now forced to work with your ex boyfriend Simon Riley, this thought reminding you every waking second of the day, You hear a heap stack of files be placed on your desk with a huge thud, startling you. Darting your eyes up to see who it is, it is none other than Simon himself, staring at you with an icy cold stare that broke into you, making you feel absolutely small under his gaze. He slapped the giant pile of files he placed while playing with a cigarette hanging loosely from the side of his mouth, a scar apparent on the side of his lip.

“File these in the cabinets, alphabetically, get to it.” He said with no emotion whatsoever, making you wanna disintegrate right then and there, as he leaves the office with his leather jacket over his shoulder. You scoff and stare at the massive amount of files he left there, resembling an entire jenga tower, it’s like you were some maid of his.

Who the fuck does he think he is. You thought angrily.

You huff in defeat as you continue to file all these documents in their respective places, you eventually lose track of time.

[Same night - 12:30 am]

You yawn lazily as you start staring at the clock, reading 12:30 am, you rubbed your eyes and slumped into your chair stretching yourself, as you gaze around the room lightly, seeing only you in the entire office, feeling envious of the other members having finished their work early. This was Simon’s fault, giving you more work than you already had, considering he was the first to leave, he could’ve done the alphabetical filing himself, but no, he had to dump it on the newbie of the team.

You were happy with yourself despite the situation, considering the fact you were always an organized person, so everything was in order and in place, just how you liked it. Getting up and packing your bag with your things, you yank your jacket off the seat and leave the office, closing the lights and locking the door behind you.

This is fucking overtime. You thought, as you were not liking the fact you stayed so late because of a certain someone, even though it is your job as a detective, it irked you because this meant you missed the premier of your favorite show on your TV at home. Walking out of the empty police department to your car, the parking area was all empty, giving you an eerie feeling that you weren’t so alone, like you imagined, and that someone was still around, despite it being so quiet. You thought nothing of it as you were too tired to go and scout the area, so you just decided to ignite your car and zoom off home.

As you left, you couldn’t help but still think that someone was staring at you when you were at the parking lot, even though it was empty. It creeped you out a little but you thought none of it as you gripped the steering wheel focusing on the road. Little did you know, someone was there staring at you when you left, and it was the man himself, Simon. Watching your every move as you left, while he stayed hidden behind a tall tree near the parking lot, once again, smoking another cigarette while leaning against his motorcycle.

He couldn’t lie to himself, he was just a little shocked you were transferred to his team, but nonetheless, it ended between you two because of his stupid decisions. He messed up, but at the same time, he can’t bare to see you with anyone else. He wanted you all to himself. Despite ruining what you both had, and having you absolutely heartbroken, he claimed in his mind that he did what he did to you to protect you, by pushing you away from him. This backfired, considering that now, he can’t get you out of his mind. And now that you both are forced to work with each other, it will make it all the more harder for him. Which is why now, he was closely watching you, from a distance, like a hawk, ready to attack if anything comes your way to harm you. Like your guardian angel. You were his first love, and he was not going to get that taken away from him, regardless of the past.

[Couple weeks later - Monday - 8:10 am]

Pouring yourself a 2nd cup of coffee as you went to sit down at your desk, yawning tiredly, turning on your computer and putting on your badge and name tag lanyard on, it was time to begin work with the first case of the day. Pulling out the file, it was labeled as an armed robbery case. And this file was directed under you.

Setting up the documents, to make the explanation of the case easier on the cork board. You kindly began explaining to the other detectives, all while trying not to make eye contact with Simon, who was on your side listening intently to what you were saying. Which stressed you out a little, even though it has been a couple weeks since you were transferred.

“So, essentially, he was armed, and broke in about 15 minutes later, after the family had left for their camping trip.” You said strategically as you pointed to the board. You were breezing through this briefing to the others, and then assigned a part of the case to each detective to make the work easier, and to send the final report to your superior quicker and more efficiently.

Simon did not like the idea of being told what to do, and you learnt that the hard way. He told you bluntly that he was going to work on this alone and that he didn’t want to negotiate, which irritated you immensely. He left the room without even giving you a chance to speak, angering you. You followed him all the way outside near the back door, where he lit a cigarette, blowing puffs as he stared up at the sky, irritating you even more. Bursting through the door, you pushed his shoulder.

“What the fuck is your problem Simon?!” You exclaimed angrily. “All I am trying to is my job, and you are making this so fucking difficult with your bullshit-” You continued, as you pissed him off, which he then pinned you against the brick wall, holding your neck tightly, staring at you with the same icy look he gave you when you first joined.

“Watch that fucking mouth.” He said sternly. “If I say I work alone, you abide by that, you understand?!” he said, raising his voice louder, you were not going to let him just step over you once more, since the breakup.

You pushed him off you with all your force as you backed away from him.

“This case is under my name and my jurisdiction so you’re gonna have to follow my rules, and not disobey them, even though you are such a hard-headed piece of shit, and you’ve always been that way!” You said sternly but had tears well up in your eyes. He just stared at you, with his hands in his pockets, not saying another word, feeling somewhat hurt by what you said.

You left him there and went straight back inside as this deteriorated your mood immensely, making way to your desk, you quickly wiped your tears and continued to work on your tasks. You couldn’t let this bother you, he was not negotiating and that pissed you off, you didn’t think you would lash out on him like that. But it felt nice, to finally say something against him since the breakup.

After finishing the report with your members you made your way to your superiors’ office to hand him the completed documents, to which he was delighted to receive. He sent you off work early, meaning you could go home. Packing up your things and leaving for the door, you see Simon walk in holding someone, by pinning their arms behind their back, telling them to quiet down, and it seemed like he captured a suspect for a certain case.

Not that it was much business to you, so you briskly passed by him, however, you couldn’t help but notice how attractive his arm muscles looked, as they bulged through his tight shirt. Catching yourself shamelessly ogling at him, to which he noticed, you left for your car. As you sat in your car, you ringed up your best friend to come over that night.

[Same Night - 9:30 pm]

“Uh okay…so like now you two are working together, what’s the big deal?” Your best friend asked as she shoved her face with a bunch of gummy worms making you sigh and slump into the couch.

“I know but dude, its been 3 years since the whole breakup.” You said as your best friend looked at you about to say something.

“Wait a fucking minute…usually you are the type to forget things and you know, be in your new bitch arc everytime, but oh my god wait…do you still love him??!!” She said shockingly, having you widen your eyes, and have your brain in another frenzy.

“I can’t possibly..” You sigh as your eyes start tearing. Your best friend sighed as she came next to you and rubbed your back reassuringly.

“It’s okay, let it out.” she said softly as you started crying uncontrollably, it seemed like you have been holding all these tears since the day you found out he cheated on you, but at the same time, he was the only man at the time who made you feel loved, made you feel like such a princess. You had him wrapped around your finger, and he did everything you wanted him to. Despite his cold and rough personality, he was a giant care bear to you, and always was by your side whenever you needed, he loved you, and you loved him even more. And now, you were starting to miss him, the part where he cheated on you didn’t even bother you, you wanted him back. You needed him, you've had enough of this.

You got up and grabbed your jacket and keys and decided to drive to the police department, cause you had a feeling he was still there. Leaving to the door, it was heavily raining, your best friend knew what was going through your mind, and supported you.

“Here, take the umbrella, be safe and don’t do anything you’ll regret, okay?” she said as you nodded with a gentle smile.

“I’ll be fine, I just need to go see him.” You said, while giving her a tight hug as she nodded as you left through the door.

Driving down the road to the police department, the sound of the rain heavily hitting the windows, and the sound of the windshield wipers calming you. You finally reached the police department as you parked your car and rushed inside scanning your employee card first, respecting the others who were working and on the job. Not making much noise as you entered the empty office, you can’t seem to find Simon anywhere, mentally cursing yourself if you have come too late.

You walk to his desk slowly and touch his coffee mug, which still felt hot, meaning he could still be there. Your eyes scan his desk until you find the corner of a photograph under a small pile of papers that caught your attention. Lifting the stack slowly to see the photograph, your heart sinks but flutters at the same time, which you couldn’t really comprehend how. Clutching the photograph, it was a picture of you and Simon together on your 1 year anniversary, at a park. You couldn’t believe he still had this picture, you had thought that after the breakup he would just get rid of everything, but you were wrong.

He decided to keep it, and it wasn’t torn or ripped, it was in good condition after these couple of years. This brought tears to your eyes, and you were too focused on analyzing the photograph and reminiscing about how much fun it was back then, that you didn’t hear Simon walk in and catch you looking through his things.

“What are you doing?” He said sternly yet softly, walking towards you and taking the photograph from you, as he gently put it in the breast pocket of his jacket. You looked up at him and smiled gently and inched closer to him, closing the gap just a little bit more, causing him to be confused at first but later softened his gaze and looked at you with a saddened look.

You didn’t care about what happened between you two, you were a firm believer in second chances and wanted to give him a second chance, if he wanted to. You wiped some of your tears and took his hand gently in yours. You knew Simon like the back of your hand so the saying ‘Once a cheater, always a cheater’ left your mind, he didn’t fit in that category, he was better than that.

“Simon…” You said softly as he pulled you in a tight hug, catching you off guard. He felt warm, and his signature natural scent made its way to your nose, filling you to the brim with nostalgia and reminiscence of your past memories with him. Clutching him tighter, leaning your head on his chest as he looked down at you slightly, he didn't say a word but held you in his embrace tighter.

Your heart was beating fast as you pulled away from his grasp and looked at him while holding both of his hands in yours, gently rubbing with your thumb reassuringly. You wanted him to know how you really felt, so you were going to seize this moment, or else you’ll regret it later. As you were about to speak, he beat you to it, by clearing his throat.

“Listen, I’m sorry, I’m sorry for everything I did, I shouldn’t have never done what I did. I was clouded by judgment and was clouded by jealousy. I hated seeing you being transferred to some other task force where all the asshole men there wanted a fucking piece of you. I thought you deserved better, and to numb my shitty overthinking and jealousy, I picked a random woman from the other force and got with her, to forget you, to keep you away from me, only because I thought you needed better.” He said as his eyes started to well up with tears, which was something you never thought in a million years you would see. His rough and tough exterior was shedding right in front of you.

Your cheeks became wet with the tears flowing out of your eyes as you listened to what he said intently, and couldn’t help but push yourself into his embrace and hug him once again. Hating him for his dumb decisions and causing heartbreak for the both of you. But you had him now, you had him in the palm of your hand, and you needed him back. Reaching to dry his tears gently, you cupped his cheek and lightly grazed your thumb over the scar on his lip, causing him to release a sweet hum as he closed his eyes and leaned more into your touch, feeling more at ease.

“I forgive you, Simon…come back to me.” You said softly as he looked at you and nodded slowly as he took your hand and kissed your palm. Your heart skipped a beat and your entire mind was full of him, and you were happy that this cleared between you and now are connected once again.

Was this a bad idea? Was this too quick? Absolutely not. Not in a million years.

[Same night - 10:45pm]

Simon offered to take you back to his place, he wanted to spend the night with you. He missed you and now that he finally had you back, he was not going to mess up and have you taken away from him, not now, not ever. Not again.

Locking the door behind him as you start to wander around in his flat, it was clean and well organized, since he was a clean freak, just like you. There were many things that were so similar between you two, it was as if you were just two peas in a pod. You make your way to his bedroom door and as you enter you find small polaroids on a little cork board hung on the wall to your left.

Little pictures of the both of you once more were there, documenting the many trips you two went on and it brought such happiness to you, and tugged your heartstrings the right way. Simon came up behind you, after changing into more comfy clothing, and snaked his strong arms around your waist to rest on your stomach, while resting his head on yours, swaying from side to side gently.

“Remember that one, it was our first date.” He said pointing to one of the polaroids, making you smile and nod gently.

“Yeah, I’m happy but also surprised you still have all of these, Simon.” You said as you count how many of the little polaroids are there, hanging pretty on the cork board. You even notice that they are in chronological order, making your heart flutter at the sight.

“I never got over you, I can’t fucking do it, I’m obsessed with you, and that’s never gonna change.” He said sternly yet lovingly, causing your cheeks to heat up as you turn around to face him.

“Don’t worry, it won't change.” You whispered gently, as you inched your face closer to his as your lips met together. The feeling of his sweet, soft lips on yours after these couple of years, and having his rough scar graze on your lips the right way had your stomach in knots and mind in a blaze.

He released a small groan as he pulled you closer to him, feeling you even more, you were a part of him and he was a part of you, as he snaked his arms around you to hoist you closer to him.

Pure love.

That was the only thing going through your mind as he was kissing you with such need and such want. You bring your hands up to tangle in his soft locks of his hair as he groans at the action. You were kissing him with such passion, you didn't want it to stop, you couldn't help yourself at this point. His sweet, intoxicating lips were just begging to be sucked on until they became swollen. Every single fiber in your body dissolved at his rough but gentle and dominating command. An entire new sense of craving was taking over your mind.

You missed this, you missed feeling this exact feeling with him for the very first time, and now you are feeling it again, and you couldn’t be happier. His tongue darting into your mouth, playing a game of tug o’ war, exploring each crevice of your mouth with such extreme need. You needed him badly and released small moans into his mouth to tell him you wanted more. He suddenly pulls away and immediately latches his soft wet lips onto your neck, your back arches, almost like a perfect parabola, right into him, as he leaves open mouthed kisses, leaving marks apparent on your skin. Gently nipping at your skin, he asks you.

“Do you want more, sweetheart?” He says lacing his words with a playful tone. You couldn’t even form a sentence with how he’s got you feeling right now.

“Come on, use your words.” He said, licking each and every love bite and hickey he left on your neck for everyone to see on display.

All you could muster was a small and breathy ‘yes’ and that was all it took for him to place you gently onto the bed and hover over you, taking off each article of clothing from the both of you. Now, you two are completely bare in front of each other, as he attacks your lips once more, as he glides his large and calloused hand up and down your naturally beautiful hips and thighs.

And it was on.

All you could see was the carnivorous look in his eyes as he eyes you up and down, hypnotized by the way you look at him. He needed to taste you, absolutely devour you and you couldn't wait for it. He leans down for a quick short kiss to your lips and starts teasing your clit with the tip of his hardened cock, having you twitch in need under him. He laid small butterfly kisses all the way down your tummy to your pelvis area.

“You’re just so fucking pretty.” He cooed as his hot breath hit your most sensitive area. And not a moment later, his long flat tongue made its way to your throbbing clit as he tasted you. So sweet, so magnifying, his arms wrapped around your legs to keep you from moving so much, as he buries his entire mouth and nose into your delicious folds, feeling your wetness which only made him more excited.

As you followed his lead and pushed your pelvis up to feel every inch of his mouth, your hands grip his hair with such need and full desire. He inserted two fingers into your slick cunt as your moans filled the dimly lit room quickly and delightedly. He felt your walls close tightly around his fingers as he knew you were close to release.

“Shoot it, beautiful.” You heard him say muffled under your touch.

With that, you released a succulent burst, that had his entire face soaked as he licked up every single last drop not wasting anything. You lay there watching Simon taste you even more indefinitely on his fingers as he leans in to kiss you, and lay more butterfly kisses on your perked breasts, releasing sweet moans into his ear.

His soft voice giving you sweet compliments almost lulling you to sleep. As he lifts you to turn around and have your ass up for him, just sitting pretty. Instantly crouching lower and arching your back, ass high enough for him to grope. He wastes no second as he plows into you, letting out moans and groans from his soft mouth, as he fills you up. With his strong and flat stomach now completely pressed into you, his rough hands make their way to your hair as he tugs from the roots pulling your head back to him, meeting his lips for another greedy kiss.

The absolute ripping and exhilarating feeling of your core mesh with his, feeling the pleasure of the outstanding string of orgasms you have every single time. He was the only one who could make you feel this way and was the only man you would be on your knees for. You felt like putty in his hands and was on cloud 9, with how strong and uniform his thrusts were. Reaching each other’s climax, he gives your ass a couple rough slaps to leave an apparent mark to ogle at later. And then shoots his large load into you, shivering at the feeling as he pulls out and sees his cum drag down your leg, and wastes no other second to take his thumb and push it back inside you, causing you to fall to your forearms and let out a sequence of whimpers.

Falling down next to you with whatever energy he had left, he pulled you to his chest under the covers as you both stayed in silence. This was a comforting feeling for you both, your eyes half open as your head rests on his chest, hearing his heartbeat beautifully, and hearing his soft breaths escape his lips as you both come down from your high. He smiles gently as he sees you trace his tattoos on his arm.

“I love you.” Were the only three words escaping your lips as you doze off to sleep in his warm and protective embrace. He leaned to kiss your forehead gently and eventually turned off the only lamp in the room by his side, and followed you soon after, as he crashed to sleep, not letting go of you at any given moment.

Simon would do anything for you, all you had to do was say the word.

You were his.

And he was yours.

And he vowed to himself, that would never change.

#cod smut #cod x reader #cod mw2 #call of duty #cod fanfic #simon riley smut #simon ghost riley #cod mwii #smut #simon riley call of duty #simon riley x reader

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airjemsfandump · 8 days

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Call it OA or anything of the sort but new viewers will not know how big of a thing YoI was in 2016. It basically had Tumblr on a chokehold for two years and when the infamous episode 7 aired, Crunchyroll literally broke down. It was the dark horse anime of the season. No one had any expectations from it but it still ended up being so beloved by viewers and brought together multiple communities: the otaku community, the ice skating community, and the LGBT+ community. For many people, including myself, it was not just a series but something that gave everyone a place to belong. The fandom spaces were filled with nothing but support. People were discovering and rediscovering their passions because of the anime and it was just such a wonderful time. It was also when LGBT+ representation in media was still scarce so having (heavily implied) gay characters on a mainstream anime was a big deal. I remember an incident when Kubo-sensei receiving hate mails from some viewers saying that the show was not realistic enough bc where tf was the homophobia?? To which Kubo-sensei answered that the world already had so much of it that she wanted to create a world where love could flourish without the hate. And it made me appreciate the show even more. Kubo-sensei and Sayo-san were such beloved figures to the community. It was because of their dedication that we could witness something wonderful on screen.

So, yeah. I think I just want to say that I might never find it in my heart to overcome my dislike toward MAPPA. YoI is one of the animes that put their name in the map today. It was because of two women had a dream they wanted to share. It was because of the fandom who forgave every flaw and has patiently waited for the "Next Stage" even after eight years. It was because of the hope to witness more about the two L's of these characters. And yet it was all for naught.

I will always love YoI. It will always have a special place in my heart. And I will forever be saddened that we will never see Yuri Katsuki win gold.

It was a beautiful journey. Until Next Stage, History Makers. 💕

#yuri on ice #born to make history #can you hear my heartbeat #victuuri #ice adolescence #fuck mappa #mappa studio #when i catch you #mappa when i catch you #viktuuri #viktor nikiforov #yuri katsuki #yuri plisetsky #MAPPA wtf #yuri on ice ice adolescence #yuri on stage #yuri!!! on ice #history maker #dean fujioka

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areyoudreaminof · 9 months

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and we kissed as though nothing would fall: A Helion x Lady of Autumn Playlist

It's a great day for being sad! Here's Helion x Lady of Autumn for you.

Of all the novellas and backstories, I know we all want this the doomed affair that lasted for centuries, and resulted in our favorite fox boy. There has to be so much hurt and longing still lingering there. This playlist goes through the range of emotions that I thinkk this heartbreak brought upon both Helion and the LoA. But I wanted there to be hope too. That soft kind of hope that these two can come back together to each other where they belong.

Listen Here! Lyrical deep dive under the cut.

Special dedication to my favorite Helion x LoA besties @spell-cleavers and @ablogofsapphicpanic

I've added a second link to the playlist above, as it seems that it does not show up on the browser, just mobile.

The One That Got Away-The Civil Wars Got away from me Before anybody has to bleed

Oh, if I could go back in time When you only held me in my mind Just a longing gone without a trace Oh, I wish I'd never ever seen your face I wish you were the one I wish you were the one that got away

A Record Year for Rainfall-The Decemberists

What's the use of all of this? It's to remember you in the entire 'Cause I'm watching it slip away And in the annals of the empire Did it look this grey Before the fall?

Falling Slowly-The Swell Season

Falling slowly Eyes that know me And I can't go back And moods that take me And erase me And I'm painted black Well, you have suffered enough And warred with yourself It's time that you won

Samson-Regina Spektor

You are my sweetest downfall I loved you first, I loved you first Beneath the sheets of paper lies my truth I have to go, I have to go Your hair was long when we first met

Beloved Wife-Natalie Merchant

My love is gone Now my suffering begins My love is gone Would it be wrong if I should Surrender all the joy in my life Go with her tonight?

Such Great Heights-Iron & Wine

I am thinking it's a sign That the freckles in our eyes are mirror images And when we kiss they're perfectly aligned And I have to speculate That God himself did make us into corresponding shapes Like puzzle pieces from the clay

Skinny Love-Bon Iver

Come on, skinny love, just last the year Pour a little salt, we were never here My my my, my my my, my my Staring at the sink of blood and crushed veneer I tell my love to wreck it all Cut out all the ropes and let me fall My my my, my my my, my my Right in this moment, this order's tall

Hey Jupiter-Tori Amos

Sometimes I breathe you in And I know you know And sometimes you take a swim Found your writing on my wall If my heart’s soaking wet Boy, your boots can leave a mess

No Rest for the Wicked-Lykke Li

My one heart hurt another So only one life can't be enough Can you give me just another For that one who got away? Lonely I, I'm so alone now There'll be no rest for the wicked There's no song for the choir There's no hope for the weary If you let them win without a fight

No One's Gonna Love You-Band of Horses

Anything to make you smile You are the ever-living ghost of what once was I never want to hear you say That you'd be better off or you liked it that way And no one is ever gonna love you more than I do No one's gonna love you more than I do

I Need My Girl-The National

I am good, I am grounded Davy says that I look taller But I can't get my head around it I keep feeling smaller and smaller I need my girl I need my girl

Death With Dignity -Sufjan Stevens

Somewhere in the desert, there’s a forest And an acre before us But I don’t know where to begin But I don’t know where to begin Again, I've lost my strength completely, oh be near me Tired, old mare with the wind in your hair

The Greatest-Cat Power

Melt me down Into big black armor Leave no trace of grace Just in your honor Lower me down To culprit south

Heroes-David Bowie

Though nothing, nothing will keep us together We can beat them forever and ever Oh, we can be heroes, just for one day

And the shame was on the other side Oh, we can beat them forever and ever Then we can be heroes, just for one day

Taglist: @bookofmirth @bellatrixship @brieq @citruspearls @c-e-d-dreamer @damedechance @eyllweambassador @gaeleria @ofduskanddreams @highqueenmorrigan @hugeclearjellyfish @itsthedoodle @autumndreaming7 @kataravimes-of-the-shire @krem-has-a-mess @kingofsummer93 @lucienarcheron @octobers-veryown @andrigyn @mossytrashcan @witch-and-her-witcher @popjunkie42-blog @reverie-tales @rosanna-writer @separatist-apologist @secret-third-thing @lucienforhighking @thesistersarcheron @thelovelymadone @the-lonelybarricade @ultadverb @vulpes-fennec @velidewrites @vanserrass @wittyrejoinder @bagelfyre @xtaketwox @yazthebookish @wilde-knight @iftheshoef1tz @labellefleur-sauvage @carmasi @corcracrow @courtofthought @corvulpescompendium @tuzna-pesma-snova @cursebrkr @acourtdelaluna

Here is the link again. https://open.spotify.com/playlist/65pMS8WExB3Aywccg3CPn3?si=_R276WLATEWC9jUd1u4XWQ

#Spotify #loa x helion #acotar playlist project

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dragon-cookies · 3 months

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Gonna finish off this series with episode 8 and then go binge watch Bluey while I paint my walls today

Alastor distorting video feeds like a cryptid that can't be captured on camera is one of the most interesting things about him tbh

I still really, realllly feel like an all-out war with Heaven should be like, a giant show finale and not the end to the first season. Where do we go from here?? We already know God doesn't exist in this universe, so what other lore is even left to be explored?

Once again Charlie giving some big heartfelt speech really doesn't feel earned when we've barely spent any time with these characters

Hate to keep beating a dead horse here but Alastor when did you start caring about the hotel and its residents

He's a good dad to Nifty though, 10/10

"You have always been a worthy opponent" Pentious we didn't see you fight Cherri Bomb once in the show

Oh fuck off this More Than Anything reprise is really good

THEY FINALLY KISSED FUCKING HELL

And ofc they had to immediately follow it up with Adam lmao. Not even Alex Brightman can save this character

"That's how they can kill us? With our OWN weapons?" HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW THIS. WHY WAS THIS TREATED LIKE SOME BIG MYSTERY.

It's so fucking wild to me that we're seeing angels get slaughtered by the dozens and yet we're expected to believe no other demons have ever fought back against them until now??

FUCK HIM UP ALASTOR- WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY VOX???

Al's voice in this part??? Hello????????

Charlie why are you apologizing to the angels who are literally trying to slaughter your friends and family

jfc why did those two kiss, how does this show have zero idea how to write romance

oh he's fucking dead lmao

DAMN RAZZLE AND DAZZLE BEING BIG DRAGON BOYS, I'm GAME though Charlie why didn't you do this at the start on the battle

SHIT NO DON'T HURT THE DREG BOYS

FUCK HIM UP CHARLIE.

Vaggie should've taken Lute's eye tbh

Oh yeah you'd think Lucifer would've been here sooner considering the angels are attacking his kingdom but here we are

Honestly I think Charlie should've been the one to defeat Adam. He was fucking awful to her from the start.

NIFTY GOT HIM LMAOOOOOO

Lute why do you care about Adam?? He was awful to you too???

Also what happened to Alastor?? Is he good??

Also kind of wild we're dedicating an entire song to Pentious but his actual death was played off like a joke

Ohh fuck we're gonna demonize Lilith for being a less-than-perfect parent but completely ignore Lucifer doing the same thing aren't we. This happened in Helluva Boss and I can see it happening again

I love how literally no one gives a shit that Alastor's gone lmao

Oh wait there he is

Ooh so he definitely made a deal with someone, very interesting

HE'S AN ANGEL OH MY GOD

Also Lilith??? Is in Heaven???? What??????

Honestly nothing I can say hasn't already been said about this show and finale. Kinda stupid Al literally got hit once and then just fucking dipped until the end, like good job man way to show you cared. BUT ITS OVER AND I'M FREE. I'm gonna go paint my walls and sew some stuff

#hazbin hotel critical #dc talks #dc watches hazbin hotel

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tristikov · 3 months

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My dad passed away recently after a nearly year-long battle with cancer. He was 65. His wife took this photo a number of years back, and it sublimely captures so much about who he was, while instilling a mystique that I think is also fitting. I wrote the following to read at his funeral:

---

If you’ve ever seen my father in a crowd, you’d know he wasn’t hard to spot… Though his clothing tended to be modest, and his manner gentle, his 6’6” stature meant he usually stood head—and often shoulders—above those around him. That isn’t to suggest he wasn’t a down-to-earth individual, and I’m sure most anyone who knew him could attest to his kindness and can-do desire to help others.

Physical height runs in his side of the family, but even as a full-grown adult I’ve continued to look up to him in more ways than one (…an appreciation of wordplay also seems to be in our genes, but I shouldn’t jump the pun). As a kid I remember riding with him in “the Chev,” a woods vehicle he built himself, collecting, splitting, and stacking firewood for the winter. Through him I learned to appreciate the simple pleasure of working outdoors, roaming the quiet woods, and being considerate of the land.

As I grew older, I also worked with him on his cranberry bogs for a number of years. I learned much in that time, and though I chose to pursue a different career path, I have always looked back fondly on the time I spent working with my dad… Installing sprinkler heads in the busy thaw of Spring, battling weeds and fixing irrigation lines in the blazing Summer sun, setting up the berry pump, corralling the cranberries, and harvesting the crop under the brilliant skies of Autumn, then driving his hand-built ice sanders over the frozen bogs in the chill of Winter. Thanks to him I also have an undying appreciation for the local pizzeria, iced coffee in every season, and taking a nap after lunch (at least when time permits).

A farmer’s life is a demanding one, and each morning, fueled only by a cup of Lipton tea, my father rose to the thorny challenges of every season: Watching over the crop on little sleep through Spring and Fall frosts, maintaining our vehicles and the myriad of farm equipment, or building whatever was needed with the resources at hand—often sawing a few 2-by-4s, welding some angle iron, and bolting on an old motor… Sometimes all three.

Though my father designed and built the house I grew up in, the shop barn we relaxed and did projects in, the shed he kept his dirt bike and later ATV in, the horse barn, the camp in Maine, and at least half a dozen other sheds and outdoor constructions, his most recent endeavor—a new cedar log house--was his masterpiece… Thanks in no small part to the hard work and dedication of his dear wife, the two of them built a lovely home together overlooking the very bogs he had spent so many years tending to.

She also helped him to complete the camp in Maine which he had begun all the way back when I was a child. I took many winter trips there with my father over the years, to relax, ride the snowmobile trails, and to break fresh snow searching for elusive moose antlers. My dad loved the north woods, moose, and a day of both hard work and leisurely puttering… Maine’s state slogan is “the way life should be,” and I think my dad agreed.

I’ll miss greatly those trips with my father, more so even than working with him on the bogs. I treasured the time to connect and learn from him. I’m probably not the only guy to think highly of their dad, but with the wide breadth of skills, depth of knowledge, and social presence he possessed, it was, and still is hard to not be in awe of him. I am a father myself now, and as I remember the impressive size of the trusty old snow boots my dad wore every winter, I feel that his shoes are going to be very large ones to fill.

While my dad no doubt lived a full life, it was far too short, and I weep for the time he cannot spend with his loving wife, his young grandson, and all of his family and friends, with joy and warmth in his newly built home. He was a great father, role model, and mentor. He was one-of-a-kind, and made an indelible impression on those who met him. He will be missed by all, but when the warm late-summer nights give way to cool early-autumn evenings and the cranberries ripen scarlet under a clear blue sky, that is when I will miss him most.

#eulogy #father #dad #tribute #cranberries

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cloudycasey · 11 months

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STRIKER CHARACTER NOTES: COMPARE AND CONTRAST

I noticed a lot, and I mean a LOT of character differences in Striker in this newest episode (not just his voice actor!) so I decided to watch both Striker episodes back to back and write out all of the traits and notes of character that can be seen in both episodes. Let’s begin! Season One Episode Five -Originally inspired by Rattlesnake Jake from Rango -Meant to bring a strong, imposing aura -Design is meant to be a blend of Moxxie and Blitz originally, took on other characteristics to be a hybrid over time during design phase -Can be casual, polite, and charismatic -Good at listening, and highlighting what gives others ego boosts through compliments (can be used for manipulation later on) -Social, but doesn't talk that much. Seems to prefer being in the background to read and observe people and only speaks up to challenge Moxxie -Raspy, dark voice but big range. Can have a higher pitch while being casual and friendly, but gets lower in pitch and tone when he's being threatening -Not afraid to step up and show off, but knows how to balance it with skills to back it up -Athletic, but knows how to restrain himself to keep face (via always being able to keep a smile on his face and only grunting from exertion) -Enjoys attention, but doesn't enjoy his personal space being evaded (interesting considering how he confronts both Moxxie and Blitz later on in the episode) -Isn't afraid to physically assault people to obtain his personal space -Isn't afraid to call people out, even while showing off -Smart and knows how to take steps to do his job silently, but effectively -Sadistic, and enjoys playing the waiting game -Durable, can take multiple stab wounds and smile through it -Enjoys degrading and emotionally putting others down -Morally ambiguous, but great at reading people and using their own morals and thoughts against them -Hates rich people, and likes to favor himself as better then other imps by nature based on his physical strengths and attributes -Not afraid of making alliances, and respects others who show the same level of strength as him -Has the ability to recover quickly, but tends to rely on his words to fight when he can't physically -Much like actual snakes, Striker is slippery and knows when to run away when he loses the upper hand -Knows how to be respectful and polite to rich higher ups, further showing his charisma and ability to put up a front despite his internal beliefs -Is confident in his own abilities, but is fine with staying in the shadows as he waits for his next opportunity to strike (very similar to how a snake hunts in real life)

Season Two Episode Four -Good at waiting for the right opportunity (or just has good timing) -Good at stealth with his poncho -Good aim, good at avoiding shooting the wrong person/people and focuses on his target primarily -Still good at listening, but gets more openly annoyed while listening -Gets impatient, and snaps far more easily -Loves and respects wild west tropes -Doesn't enjoy attention, and possibly doesn't enjoy his own theme song -Seems to live in a old mining cave with old train tracks -Enjoys doing stunts and tricks with his horse, and seems to trust his horse fully to do the jumps needed. Possibly great at training horses -Most likely sees himself as a outlaw (which would explain a lot tbh) -Still enjoys the waiting game like in episode five -Takes time to decorate and use décor for his home, but seems to prefer a more simplistic design. Could possibly be because he can't afford that much furniture, and seems to prioritize getting décor that provides a liking to his own image -Has a train track rock wall of sorts dedicated to killing people on, as referenced by the giant ass sign that he got attached to it -Has a soft spot for old tropes and clichés, and seems to prefer to live under that aesthetic for his own pleasure -Enjoys getting things that can boost his own self image and ego, but still uses them for more practical things, like using his own statue as a coat/hat hanger -Easily annoyed and seemingly hurt by insults and negative comments on his living style -Seems to have a hatred for richer folks because they took something away from him -May feel the need to 'have' to live like he does because of his personal money issues -Still very sadistic -Doesn't seem to enjoy when others either don't react or enjoy when he's trying to be sadisitc -Doesn't seem to enjoy that he's having to work for Stella in order to get money -Seems to genuinely hate Stolas -Also seems to genuinely hate being compared to Blitz -Even when angry, he prefers to slip away instead of actually losing his temper at his captor -Becomes more like himself when he strikes a nerve with Stolas, relishing in his reactions -Recalls and obtains information from listening in on the phone call, much like he was shown doing in episode five, and uses the information against Stolas as a manipulation tactic -Can still easily flip fronts, and can still maintain a polite demeanor when interacting with higher ups -So poor he uses a flip phone (fucking rip) -Seems to be almost ashamed for following Stella's orders, going so far as to avoid eye contact with Stolas as he agrees to her -Still prefers to satisfy his own needs first though (which goes against his more efficient characterization in episode five), and is willing to follow orders but bend the rules a little just to satisfy his own sadism and ego -Even Striker is confused about the music choice, and clearly preferred the country music -Still powerful and durable, using his athleticism and the environment around him to assist in giving him a upper hand against Moxxie and Millie -Was seemingly aiming to decapitate Millie rather than pin her -Genuinely caught off guard from Moxxie appearing to enjoy being choked, and dislikes the change -Even still, Striker was successful in his goals and seemed to have actually gotten under Stolas's skin with his words with his manipulation and sadistic treatment I hope this helps to solidify what we know as a whole for Striker’s character, and bring out all of the differences that we saw! Thank you for reading <3

#Helluva Boss #Helluva Boss Spoilers #Helluva Boss Striker #striker helluva boss #Long post #Helluva Boss Characters #Helluva Boss Character Study #character sheet #Character notes

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pinksols · 11 months

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07:46 pm: russian rhapsody — with jeonghan!

no warnings! just fluff. maybe mention of water + kissing. gn!reader. enjoy also pls let me know if it was nice to read???? this is just word vomit. ♡

but dear diary,

the thing you’ll mark in your memory for ever is when the sun hits his chocolate hair, and his eyes furthermore etch the pigment of coffee onto your figure and says, “yeah, but to me the most beautiful thing is how we are all heartbroken over the wrong people.”

a pause, “or how any element of the earth- any living matter has its way of engraving itself upon peoples hearts.” you both at this point sit in the (runabout) boat jeonghan made— surprised you with one afternoon after boasting about what noah did for allie in the notebook.

the (runabout) boat fabricated from jeonghans sweat, dedication and love for you. not forgetting the oakwood and blotches of faded pink paint that decorated the place in which you sat.

the lake adopts the swirling colours of mossy greens, outspoken blues and a breath of periwinkle. jeonghan makes your heart skip a beat, and your throat pulsate.

the sky reveals milky oranges and an array of rose tinted colours— all which match the colour of your heart, whenever in the presence of jeonghan. “we are habits of creature, jeonghan.”

“uh-huh? just like you’ll always belong to me?” somebody— the lily pad to your left or the charming frog to your right, needed to pinch you. “you’re still on that horse?”

jeonghan. jeonghan. jeonghan . you could say his name for the rest of your life. your own secret language, source of air, way of expression. “jeonghan. you put the moon in the sky for me— have i ever told you that?” you declare, laced with love out into the pink sky.

“before you, the water was just green. summer was just a season. the piano was just a stupid instrument. you put the blue in my life. in my heart.”

jeonghan drops the ores for a minute. submerged in disbelief- biting his lip to choke back the way he wanted to scream i love you a billion times over. he shifts even closer to you now, grasps your head gently with his hands till you can almost taste his lips.

till you’re almost eskimo kissing— your giggle was the reason jeonghan got out of bed everyday; the reason he found pleasure in the sunlight, and embraced it with open arms.

the guarantee of you in his life elevated the pink in the sky, and overrun the amber hue, that now swirled it’s way into that of a monet painting. the boat shakes at his stance, “hannie!” he smiles against your cheekbone.

the way your eyes dilate activate an entity within his heart that he can’t quite put his finger on. and the way you say his nickname sounds like one of the 13 angels greeting him to the highest stage of life.

to jeonghan, you are serenity and peace.

kiss—kiss—kiss. how could he have you for eternity? bargain with the koi fish at the bottom of the lake you’re placed upon? barter with the joker and exchange his tendencies to cheat in any parlor game?

the sky is burnt orange and the water you’re surrounded by mimics that. “oh?” he inquires, voice as deep as the sand channels that lead to the sea.

at his response your heart runs a mile from the comfort of a boat. how do you refrain from ascending? from evaporating— leaving nothing but pink ribbons infused with the scent of jeonghan behind?

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kinnenvy · 3 months

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In defense of season five Brian Kinney

(this has been in my drafts for months because i'm scared to post it sjkfhs)

We all feel a certain kind of way about season five, it's like... kind of unfortunate from beginning to end lmao. BUT STILL the one thing that I will always do is try to defend that babygirl, I will carry him out of the storm of criticism princess style and take him home on a white horse.

disclaimer: this is a confused stream of consciousness and I will get some things wrong because it's the season I've watched the least lol.

Why does Brian act the way he does? We know why he acts a certain way throughout the series and to me his behaviour in s5 is not that unwarranted or different from the other seasons.

1) At the end of season 4 he asks Justin to move in, he talks about wanting to spend more time with Gus, but does any of it happen? no.

Justin leaves and Brian is happy and proud of him, but honestly I would also see why that would make him feel a certain kind of way. He already thinks he doesn't deserve love and companionship and one of the few times he asks for it he doesn't get it. He prepares a trip to go see Justin, but at the last second he decides not to go, he gets cold feet because it sound like Justin is leaving him forever. Sort of, kind of, but it's enough. The same happens with Gus (imo). Like he's accepted that with time all his relationships will end and no one actually wants him to fight for them, because no one actually likes him enough to want to stick around. But do you know who will always stay by his side? Michael. Until...

2) Confession... I don't hate the assimilation plotline. It was handled horribly, but I still think it's pretty cool they dedicated so much time to it. They were doing this in the early 2000s and now most lgbtq+ media can't handle to seriously get anywhere close to it.

Brian and Michael's roles are on the opposite spectrum of the debate and Justin ping pongs between them way too pointedly, because (imo) the writers decided to use him as a plot device instead of a character. (Unironically to me Justin feels the most like Justin when he is being a dick to his mom about her boyfriend) (and even then I find myself questioning whether s4 Justin would do or say any of that)

ANYWAY Brian sees his best friend/brother travel where he can't follow him. Michael has a family, he is married, he has a house in the suburbs, new, more mature friends and Brian is looking at him from afar, wondering why he suddenly thinks the life they've shared is a meaningless, shameful thing of the past. Not directly, but in a way wondering why Michael can't just accept him the way he is anymore.

BTW Brian might have celebrated the wedding of his friends... but that doesn't mean he changed his mind on weddings as a whole. Actually his wildest marriage nightmares are proven right by the two married couples he knows. He probably looks at Mel and Lindsay destroying each other, stuck in a legal battle with Michael /and/ Ben, looks at the kids trapped in that mess and is glad that will never be him.

UNTIL IT IS. Justin, in his infinite wisdom, decides he wants all of that actually and he tries to "tame" (quoting Cowlip) Brian until he leaves him behind because the domestication isn't sticking and him alone is not worth as much as weddings and kids. There's supposed to be something MORE. Staying with Brian suddenly means settling for something lesser than what Michael has. This process starts way before the break up (talks of... puppies?) and it's there where (imo) Brian just breaks.

No Michael, no Justin, constant talk of marriage and kids and divorce and custody. No one fucking cares Brian has a reason to behave the way he does. It's normal to want different things in life, but no one in the cast has experienced what Brian has and no one tries to understand it and understand what he wants and why either.

Brian's entire existence in the series is being questioned: his worth, what he has to offer, what he can't/won't give as well as what he can/will give, what HE IS, everything amounts to literally nothing. he is being left by everyone, he's wrong and not enough. Meanwhile he hates being alone, he's needy and touch starved and sweet, he needs his special people around, but why would he ask them to stay, when they make it so clear that they think he is not worth anything? (he's left with literally only Lindsay who is so bad at keeping her mouth shut and just offering support and Ted who's mostly just thinking about his own dick 24/7 and is more of a distraction than anything else).

The only gateway to attention and affection he has left is sex except that isn't working as well anymore.

[2.2) (little aside about Justin) To me he is a bit like a moth flying into bright, shiny things. He's still stubborn and driven, but in season five his decisions feel shallow, like he's doing things out of boredom. At the start of the season he's coming back from hollywood, where he was happily living in kinney-like debauchery, and he's disappointed to be back to his old life. So (imo) he finds a new thing to obsess over: marriage. Then he gets to go to new york and weddings, kids and manors are suddenly a thing of the past. This is why to me, in season 5 he's just a big nothing of nothing, genetically modified to accompany the brian/michael assimilation plot line and then Brian's ending.]

3) Confession n 2 I don't hate Brandon and even though the competition is SO cringe, it's meant to be that way (i hope at least), to me the way it ends is what makes it clear. We get a glimpse of season one Brian, broken and lost, terrified, hanging onto the one thing that makes him feel wanted, safe and alive (sex). He wins, but the ending to the competition is not satisfying, Brian doesn't claim his prize (he doesn't want it). We get an unsettling, super close close up on Brian and Brandon instead, the lines are not good, but the visual storytelling carries that scene effortlessly. Past and present looking at each other, the future looming over them right out of frame where none of us can see it.

Aging is a main theme throughout the story and to me it feels very fitting to ham it up towards the ending. Justin spitefully telling him he looks good after sighing and moping around for entire episodes can't fix Brian's lifelong obsession with the loss of his youth. Brian is left to deal with it on his own when it's at its worst. He is old and lonely, Brandon and the competition is an escape, one last glimpse at what it's like to be the young, hot, reigning stud of Liberty Avenue, while being fully aware that his time is up.

In conclusion, Brian has not taken steps back imo, he is struggling to come to terms with the changes around him, while also feeling confident about his own convictions. Sometimes he is bitter and lonely and we get to see him say extreme things, but he's also more well adjusted than he was in season 1. He knows what he wants but he's still scared to admit it. Partly because (and the failure with the moving in thing could be a factor in this) he doesn't think he should ask for anything, partly because the people he loves are expecting him to change even more and against his will.

A the same time, he is able to question himself because he has grown and worked through some of the trauma that shaped him, also he has found a new kind of intense love with Justin, different from the codependency he has with Michael (and Lindsay) and the surface level friendship he has with everyone else, which is something that has made him realise so much about himself and what he wants and would like to be.

For the same reasons he is able to look at his empire crumbling and accept it, because during the show he found other reasons to fight and stay alive. When those same reasons are taken away from him, or he doesn't find the courage to go after them, he tries to comfort himself through sex, even if it's unsuccessful, but he's not closing into himself like he used to. He still thinks he'll get Michael back eventually and he's happy to let Justin go if it means he'll find what he is looking for, Brian doesn't want another relationship he doesn't care for it, the only reason Justin became his boyfriend is because he forced his way into his life and his heart ugh cringe lol. Obsessing over sex, age and fighting with his loved ones is not necessarily a sign of regression, just a momentary way to cope with the world pulling the rug from under his feet.

He went from attempting suicide to celebrating being cancer free. He wants the people who make him happy to be happy, even if it hurts him. He's not possessive and he's not particularly brave when it comes to relationships, but he's also growing constantly, willing and unwilling he changes and moves forward in his own way, sometime turning to look at the past but with no excuses, no apologies, no regr[GUNSHOT]

Then episode 10 comes and a lot more shit happens that i could write another 20 pages about but im done for now lmao ok bye

#qaf #queer as folk #meta #queer as folk us #brian kinney #possibly my last contribution to the fandom rip kinnenvy on ao3 #i don't know why anyone would want to read this but i want it in my blog in case i forget how weird and obsessive i can get

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