#I just wanna sure staff is getting my emails
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clean up nice
part: 2 ;)
pairing: paige bueckers x reader
word count: 2.3k
c/w: this is just straight filth i'm sorry
a/n: miami post had me acting up! just kidding but not really but someone asked for a part two of this :)
The afterparty is small, in a suite at the hotel we’re all staying at. It’s just me, Paige, Azzi, Aaliyah, Nika, and Aubrey, along with the coaches and staff. The intimacy of it is sweet, comforting… until Paige’s hand lands on my thigh. Me, her, and the other girls are sitting on the couch. Paige is turned to Nika, talking to her quietly. She’s changed into something more casual - dark pants and a dark crop top, her gray boxers peeking out from the waistband of her cargos, a Seattle Storm cap balanced on her head.
Fuck if she doesn’t look fucking devourable.
I’m sitting next to her, cross-legged, answering some work emails. Deliberately, she places her hand on my leg, just above my knee, and squeezes. I shoot her a small smile, returning to my phone. “You look stressed,” she murmurs, leaning forward so her lips are next to my ear. “All good,” I reassure her. Her fingers press into my bare skin, moving upward. “Do you wanna go? We can… relax.”
I don’t miss the suggestive tone to her voice, or the way her fingers are pushing my dress as they move further up my thigh. “Paige,” I whisper, warning. “Come on,” she urges and I shut my eyes.
“We should take a picture!” Nika exclaims suddenly. Immediately, I shoot to my feet. “I’ll take it!” I volunteer. I’m met with immediate protests that I should be in the picture, but I wave them off. I fish my disposable camera out of my purse, and get to work posing them so that the picture is as good as I want it. “Nika, lean into Paige a little…” I instruct. My eyes flicker to Paige’s.
When she’s sure my eyes are on her, she spreads her legs and slouches back. Her hand lands on her leg, bracing it high on her thigh. She stares me down through hooded eyes, smirking sensually. “Take the picture, ma,” she calls. I shake my head, leaning back to capture all four of them on the couch. Once I’ve taken a few, I shove the camera back in my purse, trying desperately to ignore the fact that my panties are probably soaked. “I’m gonna get a drink,” I tell them hastily. I feel Paige’s eyes burning into my back as I retreat.
I’m filling a cup with vodka and cranberry juice when I feel her arms snake around my waist. Her head falls to my neck, lips ghosting over my shoulder. “You good?” She asks. “Mmm,” I murmur. “Room’s right upstairs,” she reminds me. “You’re so fucking horny,” I whisper, but the way her hand spans my waist has me clutching at the bottle of vodka for support.
“Can’t help it.” She presses an open mouthed kiss against my shoulder. “My girl so fine.”
“Paige, please,” I mutter, urging her to maintain some kind of decorum.
“Still needa take this dress off and fuck you.”
I sigh, the alcohol I’ve already consumed making me just as dizzy as her hands and words.
“You’d like that, huh?”
“Yes.”
“So easy for me, hm? Let me make you feel good, baby.”
My resolve is dampening.
“Wanna watch your pussy when you come for me this time. Wanna taste you so bad, wanna hear you scream my na-”
I groan, shoving her off of me and grabbing her hand. We make a beeline for the door, and I don’t miss the knowing smirk she shoots Aubrey. I push her into the elevator, and she turns, smirking down at me. “Quit it,” I tell her, before she can open her mouth. She shuts her mouth immediately, her grin still evident.
We get to the hotel room, and as soon as the door shuts, Paige has me against it, her tongue in my mouth. She kisses me languidly, claiming my mouth, kneading my ass to draw out all the sounds she wants to hear. I push her back, shoving her onto the bed. Her gaze is hungry, tongue darting out to lick her lips. “Take your pants off,” I breathe. Her eyes darken, but she unbuttons them, slipping out of them. I step closer, reaching for the zipper on my dress. “Shirt,” I order. She shrugs that off too, and I nearly fall to my knees when I realize she isn’t wearing a bra.
She’s on the bed in just her boxers when I slide the dress down my body and step out of it. Paige tips her head back, groaning at the sight. “I’m so fucking lucky,” she mumbles, looking back to me and shaking her head. I scoff, stepping into her space to dance my hand over her abs. “Me? Look at you, fuck.”
“You like that?”
“You know I do.”
“Forgot how much you like my abs. You wanna ride them?” She grins at me wickedly.
I bite my lip, staring down at her with wide eyes. “Please,” I breathe, putting some whine in my tone.
She sits back against the pillows, and the up and down of her breathing flexes her stomach. I’m salivating at the thought of dragging my clit up and down her torso. “Whatever you want, ma,” she intones. I slip out of my panties, tossing them at her. She shakes her head, beckoning me closer. I crawl onto the bed, straddling her waist.
Paige’s hands latch to my hips, rubbing my ass. “Come on. Ride it.”
I lower myself slowly, my cunt screaming for contact. Then I rock against her and moan. Loud.
“Lemme hear you.”
I rock back again, throwing my head back. “Oh, my God,” I gasp.
“So fucking pretty.”
I whine, speeding up a little. It’s too much. It’s too little. My hands grapple for my breasts.
“Fuck. Yes, play with your tits like that. You look so fucking hot right now, baby, please.”
Her hands come up to play with her own tits, massaging, pulling at her nipples, and when she moans, my hips stutter. “Don’t stop,” she begs. “Please, do not fucking stop.” I bat her hands away, replacing them with my own.
My hips speed up as I knead her tits, pinching her nipples as her large hands land on my ass, working me faster. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” I sigh, my voice cracking as I take in the sight of her lust-glazed eyes, her perfect, perky tits, her jaw slack, mouth open.
“Fucking getting off on my abs. So fucking- fucking dirty, shit.”
I moan, falling against her, the rivulets of pleasure shooting from my clit through my body. “I’m gonna come, Paige.”
Her hands at my ass move my hips faster, and I buck against her, chasing my release desperately.
“You close? Fuck, you’re close, come on. Come for me, ma, just let go.”
“I’m almost- fuck! Oh, shit, shit, shit, Paige!”
“There you go. Good fuckin’ girl, there you go.”
I shake against her as the orgasm racks through me, moaning into her skin. She rocks my hips against her body until she’s sure the aftershocks have subsided. “You did so good for me baby,” she soothes, rubbing my back. Her hands lace into my hair down my back, fingers getting caught. “So good for me,” she murmurs absentmindedly.
I kiss her slowly, my body fucking exhausted, but her lips so painfully tantalizing. “I made a mess, baby, I’m sorry,” I whisper. She squeezes my ass. “Clean it up, then,” she says. I sit up suddenly, eyes shooting to hers. “What?” I whisper. Paige’s hand lands sharply against my ass, the slap stinging. “Clean up. Your fucking. Mess,” she repeats. I stare at her for a moment, then slide my pussy down her body, easing off of her to hover my mouth over her stomach.
Her abs look even better now, somehow, the shadows and highlights of them glistening with my slick. “Today, ma,” she drones. I place my tongue right above the waistband of her boxers, then lick all the way up to her nipple, taking that in my mouth and sucking it off with a pop. She groans a little. “Good girl.” I continue, lapping up all of my come, occasionally attending to her nipples. When I’m finished, she’s just about drooling, and I kiss back down her stomach.
Her boxers are wet where her arousal has soaked through, and I lick my lips. “You wanna taste, baby?” She asks. I pout at her. “So bad,” I whine. “Fuck, it’s all yours. All yours,” she sighs, tipping her head back as I kiss her cunt through her boxers. I slide them down her legs, discarding them elsewhere.
I don’t bother teasing, relishing in the way her back arches when I attach my mouth to her clit. I drag my tongue through her folds, lapping at her cunt diligently.
I suck hard on her clit. “Fuuuuuuuck,” she moans, her throat scratchy with desire. My back arches at that, ass up in the air. “Look so fuckin- pretty, oh, fuck- between my legs.”
“So wet,” I moan, knowing the vibrations of my voice will make her crazy. They do, and a hand lands in my hair, pushing me down, hips bucking into my face. The other hand covers her eyes, and it’s fucking magical - the way her body responds to my mouth, her features screwed with pleasure, the words falling from her perfect pink lips.
She fucks herself against my mouth, and I smile, feeling her nails dig into my scalp, eating her out like she’s my last fucking meal. She tastes so good - so sweet and forbidden, dripping down my chin. I can hear my tongue moving through her slick, laving filthily through her folds.
“I’m close. Shit, I’m so close. Please. Don’t stop, don’t stop.”
“Come for me, baby.”
“I’m gonna- Yes, right there, right there, just like that. Oh, fuck! Fuck!”
She falls apart against me with my name on her lips, hips bucking erratically and I moan into her, working her through it.
Finally, her hips still, body slumping against the bed. I crawl back up her body, kissing her lazily, letting her taste herself. “So good for me,” I murmur against her lips. “Make me feel… so fuckin’ incredible,” she tells me between kisses. “Wanna taste you, ma.”
“You’re tired,” I tell her, but my pussy is soaked from getting her off. Her hands run down my back, eyes searching mine. “Sit on my face, then,” she suggests casually. I’m too tired to react appropriately, so my eyes just widen. “Paige-”
She groans. “Please, baby. I need- I need to taste you. So fucking bad, you have no idea.”
“I’m gonna suffocate you,” I try to reason.
“Damn good way to go out,” she retorts, her voice raspy.
“Please,” she begs, lips attaching to mine again, biting my bottom one as she pulls away. I sigh, moving my hands over her torso. “Okay,” I relent. She grins against me, moving me up to hover over her mouth. “I’m… still sensitive,” I warn. She smirks at me. “Never stopped me before.”
Then she’s shoving me against her mouth, and I’m moaning her name as filthily as anyone has moaned anyone’s name before, clutching at the headboard as her tongue licks and her mouth sucks and she pushes me down against her lips. She moans into me, and when I look down, her eyes are on me. A moan falls from my mouth, followed by a whimper, and her eyes roll up into her head.
I grind against her face, letting her devour me, feeling my climax already close. “Oh, yes, Paige. That’s so good. So good,” I sigh out, my stomach already tightening. She sinks her tongue into me in response, and I gasp, my head knocking against the headboard. Then her lips latch onto my clit and suck and suck and suck until-
“Paige!” I scream, my thighs shaking, but she holds them around her face, her grip strong. I nearly sob, riding it out, my forehead braced against the headboard.
She isn’t done, though, the tears streaking down my face, spurring her on.
Paige flips us over easily, shoving my thighs open, and burying her face in my cunt again, two ringed fingers fucking into my cunt without reservation. My back arches at the same time that my thighs clench around her face, my hand at her head trying to push her away, because it’s too much and it hurts. She fucks into my cunt relentlessly, tongue laving at my clit, her hand batting mine away before thrusting my thighs back open harshly.
They burn, but the pain is so fucking good.
“It hurts,” I gasp, tears streaking down my face. “Take it,” she growls, and then I’m coming again, stars dotting the back of my eyelids. The room spins, and perhaps goes black for a second or two. Then - it’s the sight of Paige.
Her face is fucked out.
Her hair is a mess.
Her eyes are dark - so dark, I can hardly see the clear blue of her irises.
Her nose is shiny with me, my slick coating her signature smirk, and she looks so fucking proud.
She strokes my thighs. “You take it so good, ma. Always so good for me, right?”
I nod, chest still heaving, my eyes fluttering shut. “Come here,” I say, gesturing for her to come closer. She obliges, easing out from between my thighs to slide her body against mine, entwining us together. “Could make you come a million times, it still wouldn’t be enough,” she murmurs, kissing my forehead.
I laugh hoarsely, burying my face in her neck. “Could come for you a billion, and I’d still beg for one more.” I feel her smile against my hair. I pull back to look up at her. Her mascara has flaked down right underneath her eyelids, her pupils shrinking a bit to reveal that stark blue. “We should clean up,” she murmurs. I shake my head, burrowing further into her chest. “Leave it,” I say.
“For what?” She knows the answer.
“Tomorrow morning,” I grin.
#paige bueckers#paige bueckers fic#wcbb#fic#uconn wbb#✂️ anon#ncaaw#fic talk#paige bueckers x reader
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Does anyone know if I’m supposed to get some type of confirmation email from Tumblr after I contact support and my blog being terminated??
#I feel like last time I was supposed and didn’t#then I had to email them with another email not associated with my account??#I just wanna sure staff is getting my emails#kaylee talks
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#ok. so the guy from school i visited emailed me today like: good news! we unanimously voted to extend u an offer here#so expect the formal offer in the next week. and im like uuuugh i wanna say yes so bad#bc in the us i would have more flexibility in the program than i would in the uk#and my options in the us r either to b a big fish in a small pond at this schoolor a little fish in a big pond at the other#bc this school is underfunded and a bit isolated out in the mountains but the staff r pretty great and big egos dont seem like a big issue#but if i go to the other school its like a big well funded school. the application was like 75 dollars. fuck u and really annoying#and i mean id have to live in new jersey. so in the city with city driving and prob a more high pressure school environment#and more of a chance of dealing with big egos. but like career wise im sure it would b good. assuming i don't mentally collapse#but i mean that doesnt seem as fun as spending 5 years out in the rocky mountains#like thry have fucking moose and bears! there were deer and turkeys in town!#and my dad just sent me a video of all the spring peepers singing back home and im like 😭 bc froggies and he was like i bet u could find#frogs out in [redacted city] and im like 😭 ur right. it just seems like the better choice for my poor overtaxed brain and the project is#so cool too. i want to get the cyano species as my computer background asap. and the guy is nice and apparently super supportive#and i could probably walk to hiking trails. god. i mean i have to say yes to that. i wanna say yes so bad. send me the formal offer bro#ill fucking take it before i even hear back from the other schools lol. ugh. i hate making choices#oof i am so excited to kno where im going and plan my departure. its gonna b such a pain moving tho i pray that my mum or dad can drive#with me bc otherwise the 20hr drive by myself might kill me. thats almost as bad as my initial move out here lol. the us is so big#ugh. again choices. is this the right choice? probably one of the biggest decisions of my life. the project feels so right. cyanobacteria#my algal group of choice. and hot springs. how tf do u say to no to that? i mean. id b doing that in new jersey too but with red algae#ugh. put me out of this misery lol. also as an aside. shout out to my fucking disaster brain for not being able to focus on a single thing#my boss in a meeting: so glad to have students and staff so excited to b working on this project!! me: lady i hate that im on this project#bc im just sitting in until they can get an actual student. i just do what im told but appreciate the enthusiasm lol#ay. im so tired. i wanna see the snow and mountains. and fix my head. and get outta the desert. and listen to frogs 🐸 😌#unrelated
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I REALLY wanna share an email I wrote at work to our office landlords today as one of my professional advice style posts.
But it’s too specific sadly. I’d never want to do anything to ever risk my org, so I have to stay general. Which really is too bad because this email is one of my greatest achievements that only like 6 people will ever see. It is truly the most thorough and highly highly professional speak version of
GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER AND ADDRESS THIS PROBLEM YOU EVIL MOTHER FUCKER. THIS SITUATION IS EFFECTING KIDS. LITERAL CHILDREN. DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL EVERYONE YOU HATE CHILDREN? HMM?? DO YOU?!??!?????
…that has ever been written. It’s like 750 words of pure seething rage channeled into the crispest fakest fancy speak one can muster to spit “get your shit together” 😂 It’s like 5 paragraphs and 2 bulletpointed lists of bullshit-polite white-talk to say “fuck with my staff and kids and I WILL destroy you any way I can in my limited power, you heinous monsters.”
It’s like a master class in what one has to do as a nonprofit leader every so often. It’s like how everyone knows you’re at their mercy in this moment because you’re the fucking tenant and nonprofit and you have all of 50 cents to your name. BUT you have a few levers you can threaten to pull related to public perception. So you become like a tiny spiky little piece of glass on the bottom of a giant’s foot. As the giant is stomping his feet to crush you, as a tiny little glass spike, maybe you can be JUST annoying enough that they pay attention for 2 seconds. It just takes 2 seconds of their goddamn attention and maybe just maybe then they can mercifully flick you away and you can finally stop being crushed by this particular foot at this particular moment.
So to be spiky you gotta be a Work Appropriate Heinous Bitch.
For your staff. And the kids. So you become the Work Appropriate Heinous Bitch you always needed. The Work Appropriate Heinous Bitch who is channeling that power toward good and not evil. And you use your ridiculous joy of writing too much and finding the perfect words to try to embarrass and demoralize a landlord while also still making sure it’s done SMILING (smiling in a I’m In A Corporate Professional Hellscape Help Me Help Me Oh God kinda way.)
Yeah. It’s like that.
Now let’s see if it makes any goddamn difference.
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For You, I Would Ruin Myself | Bucky Barnes x Reader
Hi! This is a very self-serving fic lol. This is, indeed, something I do! Because of all of the shitty relationships I’ve been in! But of course I don’t have a person to be nice to me about it lol.
Warnings: talk of sex, shitty exes, stressful work environment
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Bucky didn’t like how you slumped against the front door. He didn’t like the vacancy in your eyes or the downtrodden look on your face. “Hey, baby. Long day?” He joined you by the door and welcomed you into his arms. He smoothed a hand through your fallen curls, let his lips rest against your forehead. For nearly two weeks, you’d come home like this. Exhausted. Depleted. Bucky hated it. He hated your boss and your company and all of your clients.
Your head fell into his shoulder, and you nodded against his shirt. It was all you could muster. You just wanted a moment. A moment of calm and quiet and peace. Bucky gave you all the time you needed. He left kisses against your hair and gently slipped your bag from your shoulder. He was always so patient with you, so understanding.
“I haaate my job,” you groaned. “My department head is a fucking idiot and I swear the manager wants to stick her hand up my ass so she can use me as a puppet”.
Bucky stifled his loud guffaw. Even half-dead, you were still the funniest person he’d ever met. “I’m sorry, sweets. Is there an end in sight to this nightmare or…?”
You lifted your head from his shoulder and groaned again. You seemed groan a lot these days. “Not yet. We’re just supposed to ‘keep on truckin’ until we get word from corporate”.
Bucky frowned, “But you’ve been going in early and coming home late.”
“I know. I’m so tired that I wanna die.”
Dark circles shadowed your under-eyes. Bloody cracks dug into your cuticles. The stress wanted to pick you apart piece by piece until nothing remained. But what bothered you most wasn’t the deadlines or the endless emails. It was your severe lack of time with Bucky.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so busy lately, Buck. I feel terrible. I know you’re-”
Bucky brought his hands to your cheeks, silencing you. He felt the weight of your head resting against his palms, like your neck decided to take a long-needed break. “Don’t apologize, doll. I understand, okay? I just don’t like seeing you so exhausted. Seems to me like they’re taking advantage of you.”
You nodded. Unfortunately, your company’s bottom line didn’t look good. And the way they stripped money and resources from every department seemed almost criminal. They’d overwork and underpay every member on staff if it meant happy shareholders. And one of those overworked, underpaid employees was you. “If I can just hang on,” you sighed. “If I can just make it through this rough patch and impress the CFO, they’ll promote me- my project manager is sure of it. Things just suck right now.”
Bucky didn’t like the way they treated you. He didn’t like the long hours or the way they expected you to do the work of two- or three- people for the salary of one. He watched as this job slowly drained the life out of you. Each time you returned home, your light was a bit dimmer. And it took even more effort to help you shine again.
“But I’m gonna stop complaining now,” you said. A manufactured smile replaced your frown, “Tell me about your day, babe.”
Bucky shrugged. “Nothing exciting to report. Long briefing at the compound this morning. Meeting with Hill. Errands. Some laundry. Read over some intel Fury sent my way.” He dotted a kiss to your nose, “And I want you to complain as much as your little heart desires”.
You shrugged. Surely, Bucky didn’t wanna hear you ramble on about trailing averages. And you weren’t about to bore him with work-talk. “I’m good for now”, you shot him a wink. You decided instead to let your gripes scream inside your head. Bucky had been tortured enough, you wouldn’t bore him with statistical analysis.
“Okay, then how about we order some food and you can change into some comfy clothes? We have a new episode of Temptation Island to watch. Sound good?”
“Sounds great”, you said through a yawn.
“Then let’s pick a restaurant and get you some dinner. What do you wanna eat?”
Bucky watched your switch flip in real time. Your posture changed, your eyes brightened. A devilish grin stretched across your face. “I think you know what I wanna eat…”
Bucky eyed you, “um… pasta and garlic knots from Italiano’s?”
Oh, Bucky. So sweet. So innocent.
“No, babe-”, you sighed. “You.” One finger traced lazily across his bottom lip before trailing down his neck and hooking into the collar of his shirt.
Bucky shook his head and gave you a chuckle. How you’d gone from downtrodden, overworked employee to sultry seductress baffled him. “Doll, what am I gonna do with you?”
“You could fuck me.”
Bucky cocked his head to the side, “Am I crazy? Weren’t you just talking about how exhausted you are?”
You shrugged, “I mean, yeah. I’m exhausted, but I also wanna fuck you. Two things can be true at the same time, Barnes.”
This was just like you. Bucky loved your hunger for him, your needy lust. He found you nearly insatiable twenty four-seven, and loved every moment of it. You always wanted him. Always needed him desperately in bed. Or the shower. Or on the floor when the bedroom was too far away. You’d sent countless nudes that made missions more bearable. And the paragraph long texts in which you described everything you wanted him to do to you always made his cheeks flush. How your sex drive kept up with his was still a mystery. But he wasn’t complaining.
“Okay,” he laughed, “well let’s put food at priority number one, doll”
“But wouldn’t you rather eat something else, Buck?”
He brought his hands to either side of your face and narrowed his eyes at you, “I just heard your stomach growl. And you just said that you’re so tired you wanna die.” He swept a thumb over your cheek and grew serious. “Let yourself rest tonight, okay? Let’s eat and relax and go to bed early.”
He expected it- but still laughed at your over-dramatic wink. “No, not like that. We’ll go to sleep early. You need it.”
He sent you to the bedroom with strict instructions to put on pajamas, “I mean, actual pajamas!” he called after you. “No lingerie!” Bucky couldn’t believe the words coming out of his mouth- no lingerie? He’d never imagined saying that to you. But he could keep it in his pants for a night or two if it meant that you got some much needed rest. He kissed you goodbye each morning at five and welcomed you home every night around eight- it was too much. Too much overtime, too many hours spent getting yelled at by your boss. And not nearly enough rest or time for yourself.
“Alright, does this pass your ‘real pajamas’ test?” You did a quick spin for Bucky, revealing your outfit for the rest of the night: one of his shirts and a pair of cute underwear. “We both know I usually sleep naked soooo I feel like this is more than appropriate for ‘pajamas’.”
Bucky covered his face and granted you a nod. He didn’t want to make you feel weird or possibly spark some sort of self-consciousness in you, but the question gathering at the tip of his tongue had plagued him for months. He’d batted it away time and time again, banishing it to the back of his mind. But it returned, and he wanted an answer.
“Can I ask…” he cleared his throat. “Are you satisfied with- do we have enough sex? Am I giving you what you need?” He cringed. It was so awkward. So clunky. He truly couldn’t believe how clumsy his words were. But it was important.
Alarm shot through you. “Absolutely, Buck,” you gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Our sex life is perfect- you’reperfect.”
You made your way to the couch and leaned against the back. There was something in the look you wore. Embarrassment? Dejection? Bucky wasn’t sure. But he knew it was his fault. And it wasn’t good. Before he could apologize, however, you mumbled something nearly unintelligible.
“I’m doing it again…” you muttered to yourself with a shake of your head.
Bucky recognized your look: shame.
He didn’t want to ask- rather, he did want to ask. But didn’t know if he should. Something about the way you walked away, the way you mumbled under your breath. It almost seemed like you tried to find privacy without leaving the room. Like leaning against the couch while your shoulders curled in on you somehow protected you.
“Are you sure? I only ask because you, um, you make a lot of those little jokes and innuendos and I… I wanna make sure you’re not trying to drop me a hint.” Bucky took a cautious step toward you. And then another. Until his feet rested only millimeters from yours.
You rolled your eyes- but not at him. “I’m fine- sorry, babe. This has nothing to do with you. It’s just…” you sighed. A fire raged beneath your words that burned only you. “It’s this thing I do. This really annoying thing. Well, annoying to me”. You laughed a dark, broken laugh. Something was off.
Bucky decided not to poke or pry. He simply took the spot next to you want waited. If you wanted to elaborate, he’d listen. And if you didn’t, he’d be there just in case. But something sinister floated around in your mind. He could see it rippling. And he wanted to be there for you when it breached the surface.
“All of this sexual humor? All of the nudes I send and my near constant attempts to jump your bones? That’s what you’re referring to, right?”
He nodded.
Another eye roll. You couldn’t believe it was happening again. Well, you could believe it- you just wished it wasn’t true. How many times had you been through this? How many years did you work on trying to eliminate your stupid habit? You didn’t care if your therapist called it a “coping mechanism”- it made you cringe, and you hated yourself for doing it.
“It’s a stupid holdover from my ex- well, my most of my exes.”
Bucky wasn’t quite following. He stared at you with an unsure look and about a million questions rattling around in his head. But he didn’t know what to ask first. You were clearly upset, clearly troubled by whatever happened in those past relationships with shitty men who didn’t deserve you. And he didn’t want to upset you further.
Bucky was in the dark. He saw no issue, had no problem with your suggestive sense of humor. And he didn’t quite understand why you’d be so upset about whatever little habit you carried with you- especially when work was slowly devouring your soul. He saw the evidence of your hellish schedule written all over your face. He saw the way you had to practically drag your body out of bed each morning, the way you pounded coffees and energy drinks just to get through the day. Why was this the moment in which your insecurity caught up with you?
“I’m sorry, doll. I think I’m confused,” he said. “I’m not really sure what’s going on.”
“I’ve never dated anyone who made me feel loved,” you blurted out. “Except for you.”
Bucky still wasn’t sure where this was going, but he knew he hated your exes.
“No one I dated in the past cared for me or prioritized me. None of them ever made me feel secure- I was never quite sure where I stood, you know? Their affections were always so hit or miss. Like, they’d give me a ton of love and attention for a few days, and then spend weeks treating me like I didn’t matter.”
Bucky didn’t know what to say or how to fix whatever damage your past relationships did to you. But he knew you were tired- mentally and physically. And so he did the only thing he could think of- he picked you up and set you down on the cozy couch cushions. He ordered dinner. He got you a tea. And he let you talk.
“I always felt unsure, you know? I didn’t know how any of these guys actually felt about me. Or if they even felt anything for me at all. One guy actually kept me a secret from everyone in his life- he wouldn’t even talk to me in public…”
A concoction of heartbreak and rage flooded Bucky’s consciousness. How could anyone treat you that way?
“Anyway, there was one thing I knew they’d respond positively to- one thing they wouldn’t ignore.” You dropped your gaze down to your mug, too embarrassed to look Bucky in the eye. “When I felt them slipping or noticed their affection for me dwindling, I knew I could use sex to renew their interest in me.”
The living room sat silent. Bucky stared at you, and you stared at your tea. You watched the tendrils of steam wafting off the surface and into the air as though it were your job. If you didn’t look at Bucky, if you kept your focus elsewhere, maybe he wouldn’t notice your damage.
Part of you was perfectly fine stopping the story there. It would preserve what little dignity you had left, what fraction of respect Bucky still held for you. But the other part needed you to spill your guts. You were so depleted. So tired of putting on a façade.
“I mean, the first few boyfriends I had actually admitted to me after we broke up that they only wanted me for sex- that they only got into a relationship with me so they could be the only one fucking me.” Your eyes remained downcast. “I’ve just been with so many people who made me feel like I had to earn their affection. And so, over the years, I just- I don’t know…”
You shared the silence for a moment before Bucky offered his help, “You got used to it?”
You nodded. “I accepted that I’m just a- that they saw me as an object. That my feelings and needs don’t matter. And I know it’s pathetic that I stayed with any of those guys for longer than five minutes. But I’m so-” Your tear-filled eyes finally met Bucky’s. “I’m so desperate to be loved. Or, I was. And now, I have you. And I know you love me- you show me everyday just how much you care about me. But I’ve never been treated like this before… it’s unfamiliar territory, I guess. All I know is secret parking lot hook-ups and feeling like I have to give someone my body as payment for love.”
Being this vulnerable, this raw and exposed, made your hands shake. Of course, you trusted Bucky with your past and with your heart. But showing him your shame and imperfections made you cringe. You feared you were supplying him with ammo, with reasons to treat you poorly. To leave.
But he didn’t see you any different- he simply wished he’d found you sooner. Wished he could’ve saved you some heartbreak. He extended a hand and welcomed you into his arms. He held you close. And he listened without judgement.
“I don’t know how to handle consistent love. And I feel like… I’m afraid the other shoe is gonna drop any minute. Like a switch is gonna flip and you’ll pull away from me without warning. And I’ll have to win you over again.”
Bucky’s grip around you intensified. As though, if he wrapped his arms around you tight enough, he could transfer his love via osmosis.
“So I try to keep your interest with sex,” you said, you’re voice falling. “I try to make you want me.”
“Even when you’re exhausted…”
You nodded.
Knowing that the two of you’d had sex when you weren’t completely and totally into it made him nauseous. He knew what it felt like for others to have control of his body. He knew how uncomfortable and dehumanized it made him feel. And he hated that, more likely than not, you’d felt that way with him. Even if it only happened once, it was too many times.
Bucky’s silence made you nervous. He was probably mad- or hurt- by what you’d said. And you instantly regretted all of it. “Don’t get me wrong- the sex we have is perfect. It’s not like anything I’ve ever had and I pretty much wanna get in your pants the second I see you.” The familiar light returned to your eyes for just a moment, but the glimmer faded just as quickly as it appeared. “But sometimes I find myself forcing my own hand- even when I can barely stay awake- because I still feel like I have to fight for the love of the man I’m with.”
Bucky wanted to kill every man who’d ever hurt you, every man who’d ever made you doubt your value. “I want you, doll. Always. You don’t have to fight for anything with me,” he took the mug from your hands and placed it on the coffee table before turning you around and taking your face in his hands. “And, yeah, the sex is great. But I’m just happy to be near you. To spend time with you. This-” he said, sweeping his thumbs over your cheeks, “this is all I want. To be close to you. To take care of you.”
You let your eyes fall closed for a moment as the words sunk in. You took his hands in yours and grounded yourself in his touch. After all this time, you finally got what you wanted. The reassurance, the validation. And you knew he was telling the truth. But the nagging in your chest forbade you from believing him. You had half a mind to grind your hips against his and attach your lips to his neck. But before you could act on your impulse, Bucky spoke.
“You’ve been dealing with this for a long time. I don’t expect you to just stop out of nowhere. It’s a coping mechanism- a way of protecting yourself.”
It’s like he read your mind.
“But I want you to put yourself first, doll. Okay? When you’re tired, when you have a headache, when you don’t feel like having sex- for whatever reason- it’s okay. It’s more than okay. I don’t ever want you doing something you don’t want to do. You have me, okay? I’m yours.”
You shook your head- sure, that was easy for him to say now. “But you’re used to us having a lot of sex. You’re used to me being ready and willing twenty four-seven. What if you-”
“Baby… hey,” he once again cupped your face. It stopped your spiral, your anxious ramblings. Wild ‘what ifs’ invaded your brain and trampled everything Bucky said, every assurance he gave. But he was determined to make you understand. “My feelings for you are never going to dwindle or falter. Ever. I swear on my life that I’ll always want you. I’ll love you until I die- and even after that. We didn’t meet and immediately jump into bed together. We spent months just enjoying each other’s company. And even then, when I wasn’t even sure if anything was gonna happen between us, I just wanted to spend time with you.”
He sensed uncertainty in your eyes, “doll, if we never had sex again, I’d still be here. I’d still want you.”
Finally, after a night of doom and gloom, he got you to laugh.
“Yeah, sure, Buck-”
“I’m serious!” he said, crossing his arms over his chest in defiance. “Obviously, I don’t think either one of us wants to forego sex completely…”
You gave him a vehement shake of your head. He laughed at your dramatics.
“But if, for whatever reason, we put a full embargo on sex- I’d still be here. I promise. Because I love you, and all that matters to me is your happiness. Okay?”
A knock at the door startled both of you. It pulled you out of the world of past-trauma and heartbreak and threw you into the present. Shit- you were hungry. Starving. And your head pounded from exhaustion and dehydration.
“That’s the food!” Bucky lifted you from his lap before replacing you on the couch and running for the door. He paid the delivery driver and returned to you with a bag so full you feared the bottom might split. “I got everything: the pasta and garlic bread you like, a chicken parmesan, a lasagna, and two slices of their dark chocolate cake.”
You stared at him with wide eyes and a growling stomach. “We feeding an army?”
“Well, no. But I know you probably haven’t eaten since breakfast…”
You nodded, and Bucky threw his head back with a groan. “Doll! You promised me you’d make sure to break during the day for lunch, and- you know, that’s a conversation for another time. Let’s get you fed and into bed. Okay?”
You watched Bucky unpack the food and spread the dishes out across the coffee table. He got plates, silverware, and drinks before putting on your favorite episode of New Girl. He took care of you. He was the person your family always promised you’d find. The person your friends told you to wait for. The person you swore didn’t exist. But he was real, and he was yours. And he loved you more than you ever thought possible.
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Pull it together || L.weems
Larissa Weems x Teacher AFAB reader
summary - Porn with little to no plot, Y/n was being a little bratty so weems put y/n in their place
TW- SMUT Dom!Weems Sub!reader, brat, teasing, pet names, strap-on, spanking , mommy kink ,  unprofessional , short ,, princess!pet name ,  degrading (a little)
Masterlist
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Larissa weems was working past her regular hours in her office, she lost track of time yet she was always one to be a workaholic, as the clock was hitting 7pm dinner was being served. Meaning all of the students would be in the courtyard, and out of earshot. which is when professor Y/l/n made their way to Larissa's office, each step would cause a click, making their  approach, most likely not so secret
Knocking twice before being aloud in, y/n opened Weems door moving into the office, the smell of the fire place burning filled y/n's nose, as the sounds of the fire crackle followed, the tall women's office was very homie, which how could it not be with all the time the women spent in here, y/n closed the door softly, causing a small click sound to be made as they locked it behind them.
"Larissa, it's late come out of this office and relax" y/n said softly having an alternative motive , maybe even a little bit selfish.
Y/n and their boss had unprofessional relationships for sure, yet there was no rules against staff relationships in nevermore, so it wasn't as if the two hid their relationship, yet they still try to stay professional around other faculty and always when in front of students , still many others had picked up on there little love story but that didn't bother y/n, they thought their boss was an absolute goddess.
They were standing center of the office, giving their best puppy eyes to the older women, in hopes to pull her away from her works, to have some time with the women.
"Y/n im working. You can wait" was all weems replied with but y/n wasn't letting that slide. They began to walk closer to weems, wrapping their arms around her neck as they stood behind their boss whom was sitting in her desk chair, whom may I added was still not in the mood.
"Y/n, what do you think you are doing?" Weems questioned still not looking up from her laptop which was flooded with emails, yet this time y/n responded with a few neck kisses, leaving a trail up weems neck was something she knew would get the headmistress going, sucking on the woman's pulse point would get a deep groan to fall from her mouth, it was music to y/n's ears
Larissa quickly regained her composure, as she stood up moving her basic work items off the desk rather quickly before swinging y/n onto that dark oak desk, push them to be bent over, their front pressed against the cold wood
"I told you to wait? Did I not...but no my little dumb brat couldn't wait for mommy to finish work?" Weems spoke down to y/n laughing at the way y/n's body responded to her words, the tall women's hands would trail down the professors body, softly running her fingers through their hair.
The blonde started to undress y/n, slowly, taking her Time on purpose just to add to this little punishment she had started. Y/n didn't move a muscle, enjoying the attention they were finally receiving. At this point they were pretty much basking in it.
"Tisk tisk look at you so compliant now, where was that moments ago?" Weems basically whispered as she bet down, her words slipping directly into their ears, as they laid front down onto her work desk.
"Mmm my Princess you Wanna act like a little brat I treat you like a little brat, and brats need to be  disciplined" the words caused y/n to gasp, as they had an idea what was coming next, their bare ass was on display for this women, and it didn't take a  genius to figure out what was going to come next .
*smack* the first smack on y/n's ass from Larissa's strong hand left y/n in a shock as loud Yelp was released from y/n causing Larissa to chuckle as she continue her relentless swats until y/n had tears in their eyes, and their ass was bright fucking red.
"Color?"
"G-green" y/n managed to choke their word out making sure Larissa had the okay to continue.
After that weems flipped y/n around going straight for her lips, pulling y/n into a deep kiss, as she held them there for a long moment, until air was desperately needed, at the same time Larissa's hand reached down slipping her long fingers between y/n's now slick folds softly pressing against their clit, causing y/n go jerk a bit before she pulled away, the whole time weems held eye contact with y/n, as they were breathing heavily.
"Dripping wet my little masochist" weems teased pulling a soft moan from y/n's throat
Larissa reached into her bottom desk drawer, grabbing a large strap on, taking a moment to strip to her lingerie giving y/n a show who was stood before the headmistress, sandwiched between the desk and the desk chair, the blonde had placed the harness and strap around her waist securing it snuggly .
The size alone made y/n's eyes grow wide, and their mouth wet, by this point the teachers pussy was clenching around air, ready to be destroyed by their  employer.
"Mmm so quite now are we princess, not to long ago I couldn't get you to shut up? Mmm why don't you tell me what you want"
Y/n was flustered for a moment only being able to get out whines before pulling together their foggy mind...
"God Fuck me please" y/n begged, that was the only thing they could get out.
"Ha I'm god now daring?" Weems chuckled pushing y/n back by the hips moving them to fall onto the desk, laying on their back, weems started to slip the Faux cock threw the professors folds back and forth as it slapped against their soaked pussy, take a few moment to get the faux dick wet before lining up, slowly lowering y/n on to the cock, as well as pushing it in.
"Fuck too big mommy" y/n stated but was cut off quickly
"You can take it, for me princess" Larissa countered picking up her speed, trusting quickly and deep into y/n as weems was still holding them still on top of her desk.
Quickly weems was in and out of the pretty thing she held on her desk, watching y/n's faces change and high pitch moans come from them as Larissa hits all her sweet spots pulling her closer and closer to their climax.
Larissa moved her mouth to y/n's neck not getting any lighter on her thrusts, finding y/n's sweet spot and focusing some attention there, watching as y/n's legs starting to shake weems pulled away from y/n neck whispering in their ear "hold it" weems was holding her control knowing y/n couldn't hold much longer and Larissa just continued pushing y/n over edge
"Please please please let me cum mommy" watching y/n beg was music to Larissa's ears finally giving y/n the okay to let go, and with a scream they did
Larissa kept the cock inside y/n for a moment letting them come down from their high before removing it, leaving y/n in a hazed state as weems cleaned up. Pulling y/n into her lap shortly after, letting the teacher rest against her, softly running her fingers through their hair
"You're so pretty when you aren't acting like a brat" Larissa teased not once letting go of her princess
Y/n's only response was a soft whine
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A/N- 2 writing pieces in one day, yall don't expect to see anything new for the next seven months. But like my requests are open and my discord server is up 
#wednesday addams#soft smut#principal weems#larissa weems#writing#mommy issues#fanfic#marvel#discord chat#netflix#wattpad#gwendolineuniverse#gwendoline christie#domme mommy#mommys little girl#sugar mommy#mommy k!nk
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Home for Christmas
Hi, everyone!
So I’ve been lurking for a while, and decided I’d finally get off my ass and write something. I used to write these characters way back in the blue forum days, but haven’t written anything with them in years (or really anything at all, so if it’s rough that’s why - my apologies). Their names are Greyson and Elijah - Elijah is the owner and general manager of a restaurant, where Greyson is the executive chef. That’s all you really need to know to read this!
I’d love to know if anyone likes these guys, because I do have a lot of older writing from the forum with them that I’ll happily post here if anyone’s interested :)
Onward!
Home for Christmas
(cw: male, colds, contagion)
“Are you sure about this?”
“Jesus, Greyson, it’s a single day closed. It’s not like we’re closing the restaurant for good.”
“Yeah, but I mean...it’s you. I’ve literally never known you to close the restaurant.”
Elijah gave the Executive Chef the stink eye as he pressed ‘send’ on the Christmas day schedule. “Well, like 90% of the servers asked for it off, and I’m sick and tired of being the bad guy every holiday,” he said. “And anyway,” Elijah pointed to the computer, where the email on the screen read ‘sent’, “what’s done is done.”
Greyson shrugged as he zipped up his knife bag. “Whatever you want, man. I’m sure the staff will be thrilled.” The chef hoisted his bag onto his shoulder and zipped up his coat. “You gonna do anything for Christmas, then?”
Elijah rolled his eyes. “My family hasn’t spoke to me in ten years. Fairly sure I’m going to be wasted by 9AM and in bed by noon.”
Greyson laughed. “Hey, the holidays are hard on all of us. Collin is out of town visiting family, so if you wanna hit up a dive bar or something, you know where to find me,” he said, pointing finger guns at his boss.
“Greyson, we literally see each other 80 hours a week. Don’t you have any friends you want to spend the day with?”
Greyson raised his eyebrows, amused. “I feel like the answer to the question lays within the statement ‘80 hours a week at work’”, he chuckled. Elijah grunted in response, and this time Greyson let out a full laugh.
“See ya tomorrow, boss,” he called as he walked out of their shared office. Then, as he walked out the back door of the kitchen, “Seven days til Christmas!”
***
Though he thought he’d never say it, Elijah could not wait until Christmas.
It wasn’t the presents, or the fact that day drinking was seen as an inevitable, and it wasn’t even the fact that he’d actually have a day off. No, at this point – five days out from the usually dreaded holiday – it was the fact that the restaurant was going to be closed, and he wasn’t going to have to try and find enough healthy staff to keep the restaurant running for holiday service.
“You’re sure you can’t come in today?” he hated himself for even asking, but Riley was the third server to call off that evening, and Elijah wasn’t even sure he’d be able to run the floor with only three servers.
Riley explained the same thing the rest of the servers who’d called off had – she had the flu, she could barely talk, she had a fever, there was no way she’d be able to come in – and Elijah apologized for even asking. After hanging up the phone, he held his head in his hands until he heard a knock on the already-open office door.
“Morning, boss,” Greyson said, cracking his neck and setting down his heavy knife bag on the chair next to Elijah. “All good?”
Elijah sighed heavily and pressed his fingers into his eye sockets. “Not really,” he said, turning to the computer in search of someone to call who wasn’t deathly ill. “Third server of the night just called out.”
Greyson let out a low whistle as he took off his jacket and switched it out for a chef’s coat. “Damn,” he said. “They’re really dropping like fl-iiihh,” Elijah’s head whipped up when he heard the chef’s breath catch. Greyson’s eyes half-closed and he quickly brought his elbow to his face to catch a huge “HGTTSHH-uhh!” Greyson sniffed hard, shook his head, and looked down at Elijah, whose face was one of pure misery. “What?”
“No,” Elijah said, “absolutely not.”
“Absolutely not, what?”
“Absolutely not, you’re not getting sick.”
Greyson laughed as he finished buttoning his chef’s coat. “Lij. Don’t worry. I don’t get sick.”
“Hilarious, chef. Take this,” Elijah said, rooting through a desk drawer until he found the final packet of Emergen-C he had and held it up to Greyson. The chef raised an eyebrow and tentatively shook his head.
“Elijah, seriously, it was one sneeze. I’m fine, I feel fine, I really don’t need – HRSHH!” This one seemed to sneak up on him, and Greyson barely managed to stifle it into his palm. Elijah audibly groaned. “Relax,” Greyson said sniffing hard and snatching the Emergen-C packet. “Everything’s going to be fine.”
The chef walked out of the office and waved to his team prepping food for the night before washing his hands. Elijah was still staring at him with a pained expression when Greyson peeked back into the office.
“Put a smile on, boss,” he said, sniffling just a little as he dried his hands. “Five days til Christmas!”
***
Everything was absolutely not going to be fine.
Elijah knew even before Greyson got to the restaurant that he was sick as a dog. Their text conversation that morning had confirmed it in his mind, despite the fact that Greyson would never actually admit to illness.
8:21AM
Hey. How’re you feeling.
Wow, not even a question mark??? What are you, the psycho from American Psycho?
Hilarious. Are you well enough to come in?
Lij. Please. If im texting you, don’t you think im coming in? Obviously if I planned on skipping work id ghost you.
Ha ha.
Fr though, im coming in. No worries. See ya soon. :)
Maybe an innocuous conversation to some, but for Greyson to fully ignore the blatant question Elijah asked, the GM knew that he had to be doing pretty shitty. And unfortunately, he didn’t have much choice but to come in – the flu that had passed through the front of house and moved its way into the kitchen, and more than half of Greyson’s staff – including his sous chef – had already called off.
Elijah stacked the chef’s side of the office with supplies he knew he’d need, but wouldn’t get for himself – a box of tissues, a bottle of dayquil, and a steaming paper cup of tea greeted Greyson when he entered the kitchen office.
“What’s all this for?” Greyson asked, sitting down at his half of their shared desk. His voice was a mess – a stuffed-up half-croak at best – and he wasn’t taking off his jacket. Worse than Elijah thought.
“It’s for your cold or whatever it is, asshole,” Elijah said, turning away from the computer to face the chef. “You look like shit.”
“And you knew I looked like shit because, I assume, you snuck into my apartment and watched me sleep…?” Greyson asked, picking up the tea, then immediately putting it back down to muffle a “HETSHH-uhh! HRSTSHH-uhhn!” into his sleeve. He glanced back at the desk and plucked out a few tissues. He refused to blow his nose in front of his boss, but he definitely needed to at least clean himself up.
“Bless. I knew you looked like shit because you looked like shit last night, you fucking moron.”
Greyson rolled his eyes, then cringed at what Elijah assumed was a killer headache. He opened the desk drawer and produced some ibuprofen, which Greyson gladly downed with a gulp of tea.
“I’m maybe not 100%,” he admitted, which may as well have been an admission that he was going to kick the bucket right then and there. “But I’m fine for – HUTSHH-ooo!” That one he’d barely managed to cover by turning as far away from Elijah as possible and spraying a rogue pile of cookbooks in the corner of the office. Greyson sniffed hard and rubbed his nose with the back of his hand. “Finde for service,” he managed, covering a cough.
“Yeah, you sound great,” Elijah said, placing his head in his hand as he looked at the chef.
“I’ll wear a mbask.”
“Obviously.”
“I’ll just expo, I wond’t touch the food.”
“Okay.”
“I’mb sorry, Lij.” Greyson turned away from his boss to blow his nose, to no avail. He only succeeded in making himself cough til he was dizzy.
“Oh fuck off,” Elijah said, pushing the dayquil towards the chef. “I doubt any of us will get out of this unscathed. We’ll close the books for tonight so it won’t be busy.” That was as close to comfort as Elijah got, even on his best day, but it made Greyson smile nonetheless.
“Well,” Greyson said, unscrewing the cap of the dayquil and taking a swig. “At least there’s only four days til Christmas, right?”
Elijah snorted. “Yeah,” he said, shaking his head. “Four days til Christmas.”
***
Greyson wasn’t sure how he was going to make it to his next day off – to Christmas.
Last night had been hard. Or, maybe more accurately, last night had been a fucking walking nightmare.
Elijah said they wouldn’t be busy, but survey said that was a lie; with a limited staff and a headache that could split his head in half, and no voice, and the absolutely constant sneezing, it felt like they did about 500 covers. By the end of the night, Greyson was about one sent-back steak away from walking out.
“You did great,” Elijah assured him once service was finally over. “Really, everything couldn’t have come out better.”
“You’re a real bad fuckin’ liar, anyone ever told you tha ahh...HATSHH-oo! HGTSHH-uhh! Fuck.” Greyson grabbed a tissue and, fully not caring what his boss thought at this point, blew his nose until he felt like he could finally breathe again.
“Not lying,” Elijah had said, pushing Greyson into his chair. “But maybe I should call Britney and ask if she’s feeling well enough to come in tomorrow? So you can take the day to rest?”
Greyson shook his head and swallowed painfully. “She texted me this morning that she has strep. Can’t come back until she’s had five days of antibiotics.” Elijah swore under his breath.
“Alright,” Elijah said. “I can close the books for tomorrow now, if you want?”
Greyson raised an eyebrow and sniffed. “People have family in town. Regulars. They’re going to want to come in. It’s three days till Christmas tomorrow.”
Elijah bit his lip, unsure what to do. Greyson cleared his throat and grabbed his coat. “I’mb going to the store. I’ll get a bunch of shit that’ll mbake me feel like a real persond tomorrow. I’ll sleep.” He put a firm hand on his boss’s shoulder. “It’ll be okay, Lij. I’ll feel better tomorrow.”
Elijah, clearly not sure what other choice he had, had nodded. “Alright,” he said. “Go home. Come in later tomorrow.” A consolation prize, at best, but Greyson had nodded.
And to be fair, he had gotten medicine. He had gotten sleep. But clearly this sickness just didn’t give a fuck, because when he woke up this morning he somehow felt even worse. His throat felt like it was about to close up completely. He couldn’t stop coughing, even after taking way more than the recommended dose of cough medicine. And he couldn’t breathe out his nose for the life of him.
But he didn’t have a choice; Elijah was waiting for him. His staff was waiting for him. The goddamn restaurant needed him, so he took even more medicine and headed into work.
Of course, he was immediately hit with Elijah’s ‘oh fuck, oh shit, oh god you look like you’re going to die’ bullshit; the man was more dramatic than any twelve year old girl he’d ever known. He’d consoled his boss, he’d prepped for dinner, he’d -
“HGTSH! HTSH! TSH!” he’d stifled about a thousand sneezes into his ever-depleting stack of masks. He’d blown his nose about a thousand times, and washed his hands so many times that he thought the skin might start to peel off. He’d run service with only a hoarse whisper as a voice, and he’d made it through. Their second-to-last service before a day off was done.
When he finally stepped into the office at the end of the night, where Elijah was waiting for him once again with a cup of tea, he attempted a smile.
“Thandks, man,” he whispered, taking a sip. Elijah nodded and rubbed the back of his neck.
“Only two days til Christmas.”
***
“Christmas eve hits different when you don’t have to work in the morning.”
Elijah let out a bark of a laugh and looked up from his computer. “That’s how you’re going to greet me?”
Greyson shrugged, coughed into his sleeve, and sat down in his chair with a thud. “Just saying,” he said. “Hey, where’s my arsenal of medicine? My tea? My sympathy from my boss?”
Elijah raised an eyebrow. “You texted me this morning that you were feeling, and I quote, ‘Like a baby that was just born’ this morning. I assumed that meant you were feeling better.”
Greyson huffed and unzipped his jacket. “I mean, I am. But I was really getting used to my little setup. It was like having a butler,” he mused, buttoning his chef’s coat. Elijah rolled his eyes and flipped the chef the middle finger. Greyson laughed until he crumpled into a coughing fit.
“Maybe I have one or two things left for you, your majesty,” Elijah said, throwing a bag of cough drops and a box of tissues at Greyson. Greyson saluted his thanks and stood to go to the kitchen.
“Y’know,” Greyson said, turning back toward the office, “I have to say, I’m impressed.”
“Impressed by what?” Elijah asked, threading his eyebrows together.
“By you. This whole restaurant has gone down this week, and there you are – unscathed.” Greyson shrugged and turned on the sink to wash his hands. “It’s just impressive.”
Elijah rolled his eyes again. “Unlike you all, I actually take care of myself,” he said, turning back to his computer. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to get some work d – uhh….HTSH!” Elijah sneezed into a fist, and Greyson nearly howled.
“Now that,” he said, pulling out some paper towels, “was some timing.”
“Fuck off, Greyson, it was nothing.”
“Uh huh,” Greyson said, still smiling. He walked back to the office, plucked the box of tissues from his side of the desk, and plopped it down in front of his boss.
“I don’t – HUHETCHOO!” Elijah directed this one into his elbow and swore before showing his face again.
“You do,” Greyson said, firm, but still smiling. “Trust me. One day til Christmas, boss. Call it an early Christmas present.”
***
“Ughghhhh.”
Elijah woke up on Christmas day and immediately wished he hadn’t. Last night had been pretty rough, but nothing could have prepared him for the absolute garbage fire that was his body in the morning. His head absolutely ached from all sides. His chest felt hot and tight. And probably worst of all, he had the constant feeling of needing to -
“HTSHHUH! HehhhGTSHHH-ioo! HSHH-oo! Good fuckigg god.” He’d meant to turn over and go immediately back to sleep, but his nose clearly had other plans; after tending to it for an ungodly amount of time, Elijah picked up his phone from the end table. One text message – who was texting him at eight AM on Christmas?
Morning, boss!
So, I figured you’re probably feeling like hot garbage by this point, and maybe needing a little bit of christmas cheer. Meet me at the restaurant at ten am. If youre not there, I WILL cry so think carefully before ghosting me. Gonna be real weird to work together after the 5000 crying selfies ill send. Like, really weird.
Elijah couldn’t help but snort at the chef’s text. He was right, though; the only thing more depressing than being sick on Christmas was being sick and alone on Christmas. Elijah sighed, rolled his eyes, and set his alarm for 9:30. Just enough time to make it to the restaurant by ten.
***
When he saw his boss push through the front door at 10:03AM, Greyson nearly jumped in surprise.
He wasn’t necessarily surprised that Elijah had come; after all, the man loved this restaurant probably more than he could ever love any partner or child, so he’d most likely planned on coming today anyway, text from Greyson or no. No, Greyson was more surprised by Elijah’s...getup.
His boss was wearing what he assumed were flannel pajama bottoms, a sweatshirt with more than a few questionable stains, a scarf that Greyson had never seen him in before, and what looked, honestly, like a ladies coat pulled over it all with the hood up over his usually-perfectly-coiffed hair. Elijah, who had never before had a hair out of place, was absolutely disheveled.
“Merry Christmas!” Greyson called from behind the bar. Then, with just as much enthusiasm, “You look like shit!”
Elijah tried to laugh, but ended up coughing into a tissue he had balled in his hand. “Merry Christmas,” he managed, sitting at a bar stool in front of the chef. “Thanks for the fuckin’ flu. What are we doing here?”
“We’re doing Christmas dinner!” Greyson said, doing a spin, then turning to cough from too much movement. Elijah raised an eyebrow at him while Greyson took a drink of water.
“It’s ten in the morning.”
“And I assume you’d like to be back in bed by noon, so...”
“Fair enough,” Elijah said, cracking a smile. Greyson smiled back, cleared his throat, and placed a drink in front of his boss.
“Drink that. I’ll be right back with food.”
“What is it?” Elijah asked, taking a tentative sip.
“Hot toddy,” Greyson called behind him. “Tea’s a lot more fun when there’s whiskey in it.”
Greyson pushed through the kitchen doors and stirred the soup he’d prepped last night. It looked pretty damn good, if he did say so himself, so he bowled it up, grabbed the bread out of the oven, and carried everything back to the bar.
“Christmas dinner,” he said with a flourish on his return. “A classic: chicken soup. And bread.”
Elijah couldn’t help but smile again as the steaming bowl was placed in front of him. “Greyson,” he croaked, eyes watering just a little, “you really didn’t have to do all this.”
Greyson shrugged, hopped over the bar top, and sat next to his boss. “I know,” he said. “Eat your dinner, you sick fuck.”
Elijah laughed in earnest this time, then turned away from Greyson to sneeze into the sleeve of his sweatshirt. “God, this is a nightmare. You worked while feeling like this?”
Greyson took a spoonful of soup and blew on it before looking at his boss with mischief in his eyes. “Some of us are just made of heartier stuff, boss,” he said, taking a bite with a smile. Elijah laughed, coughed, and flipped him the bird.
“Fuck off, you asshole,” he laughed, picking up his spoon.
“Merry Christmas, Lij.”
“Oh, fuck off, Chef,” he said, taking a bite and closing his eyes in ecstasy. “Goddamn. Now that’s a Christmas dinner.”
*
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I have a problem and can't access my fake account, so I will let you guys know if I need to make a new one
But other than that, the plan seems to be going well and I'm somewhat relieved as of now
My friend irl is 100% going along with and even helping fake evidence to pin blames on the bitch named KJ
Just so you guys can know the full context of that, last week KJ tried to spread a rumour that my bf was cheating on me, so i have a grudge against her and i hate her (she's always been rude and really upset my bf). So this week when my friend irl told on me sending her snapchat messages when I was having a mental breakdown and wanting to die, then proceeding to get high off of painkillers, and I got into all of this shit because of that, she felt really bad because she didn't intend for it to go this far. She was just really really worried about me (but I can't help but be mad at her, but not take it out on her ofc cuz she's bending hell to help me rn)
So even though the counselor and CPS (which the school called) know that my friend reported it and the messages were real, the principal and other staff aren't aware of who reported me..or that there are messages. Although we are pretty sure that with my principal looking into it, he'll find out my friend reported me- so we're lying to say that KJ faked SnapChat messages and told her to concern her and get her to start drama with the office as revenge for me snitching and getting her a Friday school.
But during all of this, my father called the school to know who called CPS, and the principal ended up spilling about me being LGBTQ and having a trans bf, so I need to cover up two huge things here that can fuck me over. My home life would be a living hell and I'd kill myself to not live in the environment where my father knows I'm LGBTQ, and he wouldn't let me attend a vocational school i wanna go to if my bf went to it, so he'd be uining my only hopes of having some form of a future. So it'd be useless
And as of today, I had a talk to the principal where I had to be really transphobic about my bf so I can appeal to his ideologies and get by convincing him I wasn't gay so he'd convey it back to my father. Since I'd previously told him KJ 'started a rumour about me and my friend' (that being the cheating rumour) i decided to utilise that fact to my advantage by saying the rumour was us dating, and that it wasn't true. I had to deadname and misgender my bf the whole time and I felt awful..but he believed me and that's what matters
I told the principal about the 'hunch it was KJ who started this' and she was called to the office at one point. She came back in guitar class and she almost seemed like she was crying?..but the look on her face and the way she stared at me read that..she was pissed. So I started to play 'Ode to Joy' really loudly on my guitar as she walked past, then a smiled when she looked away.
She kept looking over at me, and didn't even play guitar but instead was on her computer the whole class. She always gave me this dirty fucking look.
She kind of did ask me to throw her under twenty buses when she fucked me over before, and she's my only logical blame since it'd make sense for her to do something like this
I got my bf to delete some emails we've sent to each other so our lazy ass principal won't find em (of me comforting him about our relationship over the cheating rumour), and now we can't be out at school (atleast until my father and his chatting chills out). Cuz the principal wants me to stop being so close to him, and will report back to my father with any shit we do together.
So we're tryna get our friend to sit with us in lunch more so it dont look like us watching our show at lunch is a romantic thing
And I lost a part to my wired ear buds we were sharing (and it's kind of awkward with the wire) so since I had a shit ton of money on me today and went out to the mall (and spent 100 fucking dollars), I stopped by another store and bought some wireless earbuds and a case
So I spent like 130-140$ plus gave my friend 60$ to buy me a phone, which she will give me the change to a 50$ (+tax) phone on Monday.
Also same friend got me a bag where I shoved a lot of my gay and illegal items in so the principal won't see the gay magnets in my locker, nor will CPS find it (since they said they'd report it to my parents), and I definitely don't want CPS finding my illegal shit (vape, cigarettes + lighter, and painkillers I abuse).
So as of right now, the plan is doing fine. I'm not going to speak ahead of time, cuz my room is still going to be looked through and all..but there's a slim chance that CPS will just drop the case and not return. But that's also a call for a miracle. However if CPS were to fuck off, then this whole situation would subside and everything would be fine
I just hope they'll fucking drop it
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AHWM - A Voicemail to the Captain
You knew you would be busy. You knew you would be floored with responsibilities that seemed far greater than anything you could have expected. Yet, when caught in the middle of it all, you found yourself constantly surprised at the limits you needed to push yourself to. Being the most important person on the ship had a lot of responsibilities, and that was not including the mess with the crystal!
But, at last, you found a quiet moment where you could flee to your cabin to take a nap. Unfortunately, being too hasty meant you bumped against your desk while struggling to take off one boot, and something clattered to the floor. You spun around and realised it was your phone. Thankfully, it was unharmed despite the fall.
By right, you should have kept your phone off. There was no reason to waste the battery while in space. Instead, it became a virtual memory book. You would take time to look through photos of family and friends and remember what mattered most in your life. It would be a nice opportunity to do just that once your second boot was off.
Instead of your usual lock screen greeting you, there was a notification:
“1 New Voicemail”.
It was dated from three hours ago. But how? There was no coverage. In fact, your phone still displayed the error that there was no coverage at the top of the screen. Yet, somehow, someone had gotten through.
You sat on your bed and called voicemail.
-
"Oh shit. I, uh, I didn't think I'd get through.”
You gasped. It was Yancy.
“I was so sure youse’s phone wouldn’t be reachable but I wanted to try anyway. Ain’t like I got anyone else to phone, right? Uh…Y’know what, fuck it. I’m leaving a long-ass voicemail for youse to get to when youse get the chance. It’s October 30th… Uh, 2022. We met this day a few years ago, and I’s been thinking. It’s weird not having youse around. Not in a bad way! I mean, I don’t want you giving up on this dream of youse’s just ‘cause I miss seeing a friendly face. It’s more like… Well, being in prison, you gets to be used to seeing certain people, y’know? Like, there’s the Gang, and then there’s the staff that rotate depending on they’s shifts. But I ain’t used to having people on the outside, so not being able to see someone is just… Kinda weird for me.
But I’s been good since youse last came to visit as part of space camp. The song’s coming along great. Youse is gonna love it, I think. Bam-Bam confidently called it a ‘bop’ when he heard it so I’m taking that as a good sign. A shame youse couldn’t stick ‘round a bit longer but I gets it. There’s a lot to do with all that space stuff, and I ain’t gonna pretend I understand it. Youse looked like you was under pressure anyway, like you had somewhere else youse needed to be. Heh, guess that comes with the territory of doing important space stuff, eh?”
You winced, You had hoped he would have forgotten that. You felt bad being pulled away before you could really do anything.
“I’ve been listening to the news a lot more on my little radio. Normally, I hate doing that sorta thing. I don’t care what folks get up to out there. But I wanna know when there’s news ‘bout the space trip. I know, I know, it’s slow. Can’t help it though. Wanna make sure youse is safe out there! Not like I can go kick an alien’s ass on youse’s behalf. And yeah, I know you can kick ass just fine youseself, but youse is also a very important somebody out there. Can’t risk you landing in extra trouble - youse probably has gotten in trouble by the time you hear this, heh.
It’s a shame there ain’t no way to write letters, or even emails. I’d try and figure out how they work if it can reach youse. I mean, I’m leaving a voicemail. That shit’s ‘sposed to be impossible, but - hey!”
You snickered as you heard shuffling and voices in the background. It was distant, but you were nearly sure you catch Yancy snapping “Fuck off! Call them yourself, you cheapass bum!” in the background. Going by the faint voices, you were of the belief it was Tiny and Sparkles McGee poking fun at him.
“Sorry. Certain assholes-” Yancy’s voice grew faint for that word, giving you the impression he had turned his head to insult them, “- had decided it’d be funny to try and hijack my call. Nuh uh. I don’t got another chance to do this call any time soon and I ain’t gonna waste it ‘cause someone wants to share their fart jokes. What was I saying before that… Oh yeah. Once you gets to the new planet, if it’s possible, think you could write a letter or something? Just so I knows you got there safe. I-I mean, not that I’m super worried or nothing, but, ah…” He fumbled over his words, and you are almost sure he really was worried. “It’s for parole, see. One of the parts of the application is to say what you intends to do, and I’ve been thinking ‘bout it and… I thought I’d go on the next shuttle, if there is one. I got nothing worth going out there for, but that don’t mean I can’t look to a whole new place, right?”
A familiar automated voice interrupted to announce there were only two minutes left in the call, and it seemed to snap Yancy to reality.
“Look, uh… Fuck. You best be keeping safe out there, ‘aight? Don’t be getting into fights where youse is unarmed and outnumbered. And, er… Keep being you. I’m proud of youse, and I hope they get to see that youse is such an amazing individual who can really bring about change just by being you. And, for what it’s worth? I… I miss-”
The line abruptly cut, signalling the end of the allocated time. Immediately, you choose to save the voicemail. It would be comforting having a little piece of home so far away. Then, after a moment of hesitation, you decided to play it again, if only to have that moment of normality in the midst of the chaos.
#ahwm yancy#writersofmark#yancy the prisoner#a heist with markiplier#self-insert#(can be platonic or romantic)
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I FELL FIRST: 01 - JHS (M)
[MC's POV]
Summary: You have been with Him since the beginning. To you he was the only person that existed in the world, in your world. But to him, you are another pair of hands that clapped after each of his performance. Will it change when you secure a job in his dancing academy?
Pairing: Celebrity Choreographer!Hoseok X Reader
Theme: Angst, onesided pining, fluffy fluff, eventual smut, sexual tension
Warnings/Tags: Major angst, mentions of alcohol consumption, hardcore one-sided pining, a lot of deep talking, mature language, sexual thirst, Hoseok can appear to be an asshole but he's good at heart.
Word count: 5,655
a/n: I am kinda afraid, I don't know if you guys will like it or not. I write in first person since it feels more personal that way, hope you guys don't have any objection about it. Tell me how you like it, I reaaaaaalllllly wanna know.
Read Prologue for context
Next Chapter
------------------
"You're my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy when the skies are gray
You'll never know dear how much I love you
Please don't take my sunshine away"
The lyrics played in my ear and I got temporarily distracted by the picture of Hoseok hanging on the wall of the office room. I was way too busy to associate the lyrics with my life that I didn't know Ms. Kang, the head of the event management team and also my boss, was standing right behind me. She cleared her throat and I heard it since the volume of my earphones wasn't high. I turned to her and immediately stood up pulling the earphones out from my ears. "Good morning Ms. Kang" I bowed a little. "Good morning Y/N. Is your work almost done?" She asked. "I have a little more research to do on the venue. You'll have the file before lunch." I smiled at her. "That's good" she retreated to her cubicle.
This middle aged lady was much nicer than my former asshole boss. It has been two weeks since I was working there and I never gave her any chance of disappointment. My work was always an hour before the deadline and I have impressed her with my organising and research skills already and I could tell that she already liked me a lot. Good for me though.
She called my name again, shortly after getting seated in her place. "Y/N, I have a good news for you. Hoseok has come back and he will pay you a visit before the lunch break" she informed. "WHAT??" I exclaimed. She chuckled, seeing my surprised face. "Yeah. It's not a big of a deal Y/N. He usually visits every new staff member. Even if it's a new janitor. I believe you know he was in Japan for the past two weeks and he missed the chance of meeting you. He's coming back to the academy today so he'll pay you a visit. I'm sure you're on cloud nine now" she laughed. I wasn't even in the condition to reply to her. I was zoning out for a good 5 minutes until I realized I promised to complete the file before lunch.
Compiling every research item neatly in the file I hit the send button of the email. A sigh of relief escaped my lips. I was very particular about my work and I never liked to disappoint anyone, moreover, disappoint myself. Ms. Kang was out for about 10 minutes. I was lazily browsing through the file for one more time when Ms. Kang came back but not alone. My eyes landed on him, Jung hoseok, the man I'm crazily in love with, just at the exact same time when his eyes landed on me. An eye contact, an unexpected one, and I was left breathless. He smiled at me and I could promise I would have melted then and there. He walked right behind Ms. Kang, came towards me. White oversized Louis Vuitton t-shirt paired with a pair of ripped blue denim. His smile was constant, so was my gaze on him. I couldn't tear my eyes off of him even when Ms. Kang started to formally introduce me. I was just ogling him as if he is a lucid dream and he would vanish if I blink. I just realized how beautiful he looks from up close. He is ethereal. His eyes, his heart-shaped lips, his sharp nose, his jawline everything about him was perfect. And I fell for him even more.
I was pushed out of my trance when I saw him extending his right hand towards me. I touched his hand with mine as if he was the most fragile existence on earth and he would break if I put much pressure. And the contact! What could I even say about it? His skin? Perfect. Electricity? 100000 volt. As an impact my heart took up an erratic pace.
"Nice to meet you Y/N. Hope you're enjoying working here." He said with his smooth honey-like voice and I swear my name never sounded better. I was still searching for the words, "I-uh, y-yeah". I ended up shuttering. I have never felt more nervous. Not even during my interviews or exams. All along people told me that I make them nervous but I never got nervous around anyone ever before that too, this much. He chuckled seeing my messed up form. Oh my god! It was the best sound I have ever heard. I could record it and listen to it 24X7. He came a step closer making me redder than ever. My heart was about to jump out of my chest but the man didn't cease his actions, he even had the audacity to bend to my level and look directly in my eyes. Either he had a very clear idea of his impact on me or he didn't have a clue, there was no in between.
"You're pretty Y/N" he said in a low voice. I felt like fainting. Did he really need to do that to me? I was already head over heels for him and now his harmless flirting would make me blush all day long and I wouldn't be able to concentrate on anything else. And that's the exact thing that happened that day. He left the room shortly after but his essence lingered with me all the damn day. And that was just the first day of encountering him, would I even survive working there? I thought to myself.
------------
Time flies fast and I didn't even realize when it had been a month since I joined. All of it was a blessing for some good deed that I did in my past life. Especially because I never stopped seeing Hoseok as he never stopped visiting our work room. He visited at least once a day to check up on all of us. He even joined us during lunch when there is a good menu in anyone's lunch box. Once he even bought coffee for all of us. We had small talks here and there, shared jokes, lunches and desserts at times. And I was happy with it all. I was happy with life. I was finally doing a job that I actually liked, I had a good boss who always appreciated me for my hard work, I had nice co-workers who focused more on getting the work done than licking supervisors' feet and last but not the least I was able to spend time with the man I am in love with. Even if it was just for 30 minutes a day, it was enough. I was happy along with a little bit of heartache at the end of the day.
It was all fine until that one night. After a long meeting on the upcoming festival in which the academy is going to take part, we all were tired. It was a Friday so we decided to have drinks together.
The main building of the academy was rather smaller than the other branches. There were no students in this building, there were only teachers. Yes, all the big choreographies, training and planning took place in this building. Hoseok himself used to train the other teachers and celebrities here in this building. And other than the choreography team there were only an administrative team and an event management team. The members of the meeting were consist of 10 people, only the most important ones. None of us had enough energy to drive to the bars or the restaurants. So we decided on ordering food and alcohol in the building.
Hoseok and a member from the administrative team were the designated drivers for the night so they had to stay sober. Hoseok's alcohol tolerance was a joke anyway, it was better for him. As for me, my tolerance was decent. I just tend to act a little braver when I'm tipsy. So I didn't even think twice before taking up dare during that old kind of truth and dare game.
"Show us your tattoo," Ms. Kang ordered. I didn't hesitate before pulling down the round neck of my plain black supreme t-shirt enough to expose the skin under my collarbone. The "JH" tattoo was clear and beautiful as always. "Hey, that's the same as my initial!" Hoseok said giggling, clearly not knowing the truth. "Yes. That's your initial, tattooed on me" I smiled looking dead into his eyes, he was sitting beside Eunbi, the administrative assistant, and Eunbi was sitting just across me. "But why do you have my initial tattooed?" He asked, confused. "Because I'm crazily in love with you" I answered without thinking about anything else. My mind was hazy, it was just me and him at that moment. I forgot he was still my employer and I was there among 8 others. A small smile lingered on my face when I held an intense eye contact with him. He looked away and by his face I could tell that he was uncomfortable. "Okay, it's getting late already. Let's all go home" Ms Kang said, sensing the tense atmosphere and I couldn't be more grateful to her.
While coming back I insisted on coming back on my own but Ms. Kang was adamant on dropping me. Both of us ended up in a cab together since she lived only 10 minutes away from me. The silence in the cab was comfortable. I laid my head on the backseat and glanced outside. The deserted roads of Seoul reflected my deserted self. I finally told the love of my life that I loved him but his face after the confession shot daggers in my heart. The way I made him uncomfortable! Ah! How could I! Something in my gut was telling me that I was about to be heavily avoided. A silent tear rolled down my cheek just with the thought.
And guess what? My gut feeling is never wrong. Hoseok eventually decreased visiting the event team. Whenever he came it was purely for work. And whenever he was there, it was just a small nod with a small smile that I received. It was all my fault. I wanted to apologize to him so badly but the damage was done already. I didn't even have the face to say that I was feeling terribly sorry. I stayed away from him too. I didn't want to make him any more uncomfortable. But the pain of being ignored by the man who defines my day and night was something I never suffered before. It killed me cell by cell, tissue by tissue.
-----------------
Three more weeks passed like that and I gradually started to crawl back in to my shell. It was that night when the whole academy decided to have a karaoke party, I had to stay in. The smallest studio was converted into a karaoke room. Everyone was singing, dancing, drinking, all in all enjoying themselves. I stayed there watching them, actually watching him, while he watched someone else. Kim Somi, one of the prettiest girls I have ever seen, one of the most talented one as well. The one to have the eyes of Jung Hoseok. I have observed the way Hoseok looked at her. His eyes were always different when he monitored her. There was always an added admiration in his eyes which used to be missing in the case of others. He had a hint of jealousy when Somi's partner touched her a bit extra during the practises. There was always a lingering smile on his face when he saw Somi smiling. I had observed it all and I had willingly pushed myself to the edge of destruction.
I never knew Somi could sing this well too, no wonder why Hoseok was giving her heart eyes. He was so subtle and he believed no one knew. But then there was me, who had eyes always open for him. His eyes made me cry almost. And I questioned myself again and again, why wasn't I fortunate enough to be at her place. I wanted to run away so bad. Run away from this pain, from him, from this stuffy place and everything else. I did as I thought. I exited the room successfully without making anyone notice me.
I stood there on the balcony perceiving the night view of this beautiful city. My eyes were glassy and I blinked them rapidly to get rid of the tears. "Hey" someone called and I knew who it was. I waved at him without saying anything. "What are you doing here? Not enjoying the party?" Hoseok asked. "Uh.. I just needed a bit of fresh air." I replied. My pain was increasing but I realized it was the best chance to apologize to him. "Ah, Hoseok, I needed to tell you something. If you don't mind,'' I said. He visibly tensed with my proposal and the sight increased my chest burn even more. "Yeah sure, go ahead." He smiled a little. "I am really sorry for that night. I know I made you too uncomfortable but I didn't intend to do so. I know you have stopped spending time with the crew because of me. I'll stay away I promise. You don't have to distance yourself from them. They miss you. And once again I'm extremely sorry." I said it all in what feels like a breath. I was so damn tense and Hoseok felt it. He placed his palm on my shoulder and said, "calm down Y/N. There's no need of apologizing. I am not upset with you. It's just that…" he lowered his head, "I felt bad. I mean.. uh- I actually am sorry, you know. I felt too bad for you. You are such a beautiful human being and I adore you. You deserve someone who can love you with everything. But I am sorry…" he breathed out. "You're sorry for what Hoseok? For not being able to return my feelings?" I chuckled a sad chuckle. " Do you think I fell for you expecting you to love me back? If you did, then you're wrong, Jung Hoseok. I have been in love with you for a long time now and never once I expected reciprocation. Just you are enough, your presence is enough and it will always be enough for my not-so-demanding heart." I looked at him deep in his eyes.
"I know you must have thought I was asking you to be my boyfriend after I confessed without thinking anything that night. But trust me Hoseok, it is not that. I won't blame it on the alcohol solely. A part of me definitely wanted to let you know how I actually feel but I never looked for your reciprocation. I have been watching you since your street-dancer days. I have only missed two underground performances of yours due to my exams. I have congratulated you with your favorite white roses when you got your first job as a choreographer and when you opened your first academy. All of these I did without expecting anything from you and because I am thankful to you. You have been the one to stick to me when everyone else left. Your soulful performances are my escape. Your SoundCloud albums are my comfort place. If I am here right now that is because I wanted to be a part of your team and not because I wanted to come after you and throw myself and my feelings at you. I know my place well. So please don't feel sorry for not being able to love me back, I never expected that in the first place. I am more than happy just to be able to see you up close, just to get to talk to you, just to spend unexpected times with you like this. Please don't misunderstand me and take that away from me. Please." I finished whatever my heart was holding for all these times. I closed my eyes, I was afraid of his reaction.
"That… was… deep" he said slowly. I could tell that he was short of words. He continued, "I am sorry for misunderstanding you Y/N. I never thought love could be so selfless. I am grateful to have your love. I know I can't love you back like that and now I know you don't expect that either, so at least we can be good friends?" He said looking at me with a small grin. "Sure. If that's okay to you" I replied looking at him. "More than just okay" he said with a bigger smile. Both of us faced the city view now. After a while of being in silence he said, "so shall we go inside now?" "Umm… I think I will be here for a bit more. But you should head back. You're probably missing her already" I chuckled. "W-what? Missing whom? What are you talking about?" He was shocked. "You know what exactly I am talking about, Hoseok" I cocked an eyebrow. "Ho-how do you know? I never told anyone! Am I that obvious?" He was beyond shocked now and I almost laughed at him on his face even when my heart was breaking. "No, you're rather subtle but I am a bit more observant than average." I said, smiling at him, "so when are you asking her out?" "Uh! I don't know Y/N. It's just that I don't think she sees me as anything more than her senior. She never showed any interest in me as a person. And what if she ends up thinking that I'm a creep to ask one of my most talented dancers out?" He replied with a sigh. "How do you know that she's not interested you know? You're much more subtle than you should have been, Hoseok. You need to show her your interest to understand her reaction." I advised him. "How do I do that?" He questioned. I knew he was one of the least experienced people in the dating field and he might need some help. I was ready to help him, even if that destroyed me completely. "Just talk to her more about her and not only about dance. Ask her if she had lunch or not. Tell her she's looking pretty. Try to stay close to her, leave lingering touches. Bring her juices and stuff you dancers eat. And during all these, measure her reaction. Try to understand if she's taking it all positively or not. If yes then it's a green light. If she's uncomfortable then it's a red one" I said. He was looking at me with wide eyes. And finally after processing my every word he opened his mouth, "woah, you made it sound so simple." I chuckled hearing his compliment. "It's simple, Hoseok. Just try. Don't lose the person you like so much" I said trying to keep my tears at bay. "Thanks, Y/N. Thanks a lot. Now that you know my secret you better expect a lot of shit from me. I will be disturbing you a lot. And not only because of the secret but also because I would love to talk to you. For the past few minutes whatever you said made me realize a lot of things. I would like to keep talking to you. As a friend." He looked at me and the look broke me even more, as if that was possible. I just smiled silently. "And oh. You should call me Hobi from now on. My friends call me that. See you later" with that he left the balcony, leaving me broken or maybe powdered. My tears forgot how to stop flowing once he was gone. I knew he could never be mine but the confirmation from the man himself was tough to take in. He already had someone else in his heart and I wasn't that person. It was too much. It was all too much to take.
--------------
It was both good and bad that Hoseok and I clicked right away, as friends obviously. Good because I was at least his friend. Bad because I had to listen to how much the man I loved liked Somi. He would come to my cubicle randomly and blubber how cute Somi had been looking that day or how jealous he had been because of Somi's dance partner. Being a contemporary dancer, she needed her partner for most of her acts and Hoseok would get jealous whenever the partner provided Somi with some extra hugs and pats here and there. Hoseok would come straight to me and would vent out (only if he didn't have anything else to do). Or he would text me to come to the rooftop and then vent the shit out about how much he hates that partner of his crush. I would just look at him with an undying heartache and with a wish that someday someone would be just as much jealous for me too. Yeah, I wished for 'someone' cause I knew it would never be Hoseok.
"Do you think I should confess today? Will it be too fast if I do?" Hoseok asked. Somi asked for his special supervision for an upcoming performance. And obviously Hoseok was going berserk and there are reasons why. 1. Somi asked for the said supervision after classes, which means most of the building would be vacant. 2. It was a solo performance so the partner would not be there. 3. It wasn't a contemporary dance routine rather freestyle, in which Hoseok specializes. All in all it was a good chance to win over the girl. Moreover, it is quite evident that Hoseok is not the only one in the feels. The shy and sly smiles that Somi gave Hoseok whenever he complimented her told the truth. Sometimes I cursed myself for being too observant because I could even sense the sexual tension between the two when all of us would casually be hanging out after work. It was good for both of them but not for my heart, which was being smashed with every glance they shared with each other. So after today there's a huge chance that I might be loving someone else's boyfriend in the near future. "Y/N! Where are you lost today?" Hoseok waved his hand in front of my eyes. "I uh, the sky looks beautiful today. So I was just…. Leave it!" I sighed and continued, "about confession right? Do whatever you feel at that moment Hobi. I mean you should leave it on your heart, if it tells you to confess right then and there then just go ahead and confess. There's nothing called being fast when you're already pining over her for some good months." He looked at me with stars in his eyes and I almost misunderstood the gaze for a moment. "What would I do without you Y/N? I would have been totally lost and the progress that I have made with Somi couldn't be found if it wasn't for you." He said. A sad chuckle left my lips, "with me or without me Hobi, you would be living just fine. You would have found someone else to help you out. I am nothing but a passerby in your life, making almost no difference. Rather ask yourself what would you be doing if Somi wasn't here? Just the thought hollows your heart doesn't it? She's important. Someday if I change jobs and never meet you again, I will just become a part of your fragmented memory and nothing else. But if tonight Somi accepts your confession, she will be someone you can spend the entire life with. So, don't need to give me much importance, it increases my expectations and I hate to expect from human beings." I looked him in the eye. I knew my tone and my words were bitter. The bitter feeling that engulfed my heart produced it all. I thought being his friend would be enough for me but I was just lying to myself. and his sweet words did nothing but cracked my broken self even more, so I had to be bitter for saving myself.
I didn't really think he would reply but he did and left me speechless. "You may think whatever you want Y/N but it's not important for me to agree. To me you're not just a passerby because you behold much more importance than most of the people in my life. And maybe I could still think of my life without Somi, since I don't know much about her yet neither have I shared any heartfelt conversation with her. But it is actually hard to imagine you not being in the picture. If it wasn't for you, I never knew I could be loved so ardently. If it wasn't for you I would not have someone to send a sincere 'you have worked hard, good night' text at the end of the day. Not everyone would order an iced americano for me when I stay late in the studio practicing. And even if I had someone to do all these for me, it wouldn't be selfless like yours." He took a pause and came closer to my body. Cupping my cheeks with his warm hands while looking deep into my eyes, he said, "You ARE important to me Y/N. Much more than you think you are." Completing the sentence he pulled me into a warm hug. I felt him snuggling into the crook of my neck. I hugged him back putting my chin on his shoulders, my happy tears threatened to fall but I held back the urge to cry in the embrace of my sunshine. The entire world seemed to be like a happy place. His embrace felt like my home, cozy and warm. I didn't want him to let go so I hugged him even tighter, for once forgetting the fact that he can't be mine.
For the remaining time I couldn't really keep myself to myself. My heart felt warmer than ever. Only I knew for how many times I had touched my cheeks to feel his touch there. A faint smile lingered there for the entire time.
It was almost the time of going home when Ms. Kang requested me to make a copy of some agreement documents. I had to cross two of the studios to get to the copy room and one of the studios was for freestyle practice. Just the thought of crossing the studio made shivers run down my spine and I knew why. The door was open and music was on, signaling Hobi was supervising Somi. I took small steps towards the copy room. When I reached there near the studio, I tried hard not to take a look inside but my rationality betrayed me. I ended up looking inside and my heart immediately dropped into my stomach. The sight of Hobi holding Somi by her sides and Somi rhythmically grinding her hips on Hoseok's crotch area, made my head spin. The pleasure was evident on both of their faces. My eyes got blurry with the effect and I almost ran towards the copy room cursing myself for peeking into the room. I made the copy with my trembling hands and turned my heels back to return. I promised myself I wouldn't peek anymore, but again like a fool I betrayed myself. This time I ended my seeing them devouring each other's lips as if they haven't had anything for years.
That night, I cried my eyes out. I have never encountered this much pain ever in my life before. It was unbearable for me but still I couldn't make myself promise to move on. I just cursed myself for taking his "you're important Y/N" in a way I should have not. I still was just a friend and she was now his girlfriend. In a room full of people she'd be the one he would look for. It would not be me. It would never be me.
--------------
A month passed and Jung Hoseok and Kim Somi are now the most happening talk of the academy. Every time they were seen together everyone would talk about how perfect they look together. And me being a fool smiled at them agreeing to them while wiping tears away when they left. Seeing them together killed me everyday but it all seemed fine since Hoseok was happy. He often talked to me about how lovely Somi is, or about how big her smile was when he got her her favorite flower or how she intertwined her hand with Hoseok's and gave him kisses in front of that partner of hers. I consoled myself by telling myself that at least Hoseok is happy. That's all that matters. And I still was that friend of his, with whom he loved to have conversations, that should be enough for someone like me. Someone who was introverted, who didn't know how to dance well, who didn't know how to put makeup on her face, who was pretty indeed but not a doll like Somi, shouldn't not expect Jung Hoseok's heart. He was out of my league from the beginning.
"Now please be serious Y/N and tell me where I should take her for the date?" Hoseok said. I was busy making fun of his t-shirt which he decorated himself with his million dollar painting skills. I controlled my laughter and said, "trust me Hobi, about this one thing. I have no idea." He dropped his head at my response, "but! Okay then at least tell me as a girl where do you prefer going on a date?" He asked. I smiled a little and leaned on the headrest of the couch placed in the conference room of the building. "Me? I would love to visit the beach during the night time, it's even better if it's past midnight. I would love to take a beautiful walk barefoot through the seashore intertwining my fingers with yours… I mean with my date's. I know I sound like a romantic fool but I hate expensive restaurants. Those seem to be too superficial to me. So it's better if my date doesn't show up wearing an expensive suit expecting me to wear a dress worth millions only to eat steak at a boring restaurant. I would love to wear my oversized hoodies while he is clad into his comfort attire and he would back hug me during a chilled night watching the sea." I said it all imagining him and he probably imagined it all with Somi's face. I turned my face to see that he was already looking at me with an unreadable expression, "you know, you're different?" He said. "Yeah. I get to hear that a lot." I replied and he gave me that sunshine smile of his. "Whatever, it's better if you ask your girlfriend where she wants to go. I think it's better than asking every single person in the academy." I said. "Yeah, I guess so. But I only asked you tho." He replied. I only smirked and got up from the couch to head back to work with a heavy heart.
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Day by day I realized how wrong I was when I thought being just friends with Hoseok would be fine by me. Because if it really was fine, I would not have to escape from the ongoing karaoke party again after finding them locking lips with each other even in a room full of people. The sight made me sick and I needed a dash of fresh air to regain my composure. The sky was cloudy and it was about to start raining. But I couldn't care less. I wanted to get drenched. I felt like I needed to wash it all away from me. So I didn't move an inch when the rain started pouring. I stood there on the rooftop feeling every single drop pricking on my skin. I liked the feeling more than I thought I would. It was refreshing. I forgot that I was wearing a white shirt and I had to get home. I forgot that my skin would be on view through the wet material of my shirt. I forgot all the rational thoughts and enjoyed the rain until a firm grip on my arm pulled me under the narrow shade of the stairway. The dim light of the shade made it clear that it was none but the embodiment of my love and pain, Jung Hoseok. I was pressed against the wall and he was towering over me. "Have you lost it?" He said in a low voice looking at my drenched face, "You're totally drenched". His eyes traveled down my body where my wet shirt was clinging to my skin. My gray bra was prominent leaving my cleavage at quite a sight through the material of my white shirt. I saw him gulping, as his eyes got stuck on my chest. He visibly shook his head and looked up into my eyes but only for a brief moment before his eyes dropped on my lips. He licked his lips while staring at mine. And I swear I saw him starting to lean down. I cleared my throat, gaining his attention and he backed away immediately from me. I walked away to the washroom leaving him there.
That night I was proud of myself, firstly for having some kind of power over Hoseok that he almost cheated on Somi. Secondly for not taking any irrational step being blinded by lust and love. No matter how much I loved him, he was still someone else's boyfriend. On another note, I decided to move on from him for once for better.
a/n: the next part will be Hoseok's pov so his thoughts his feelings will be explained. It will be better I promise. 💜
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Pack - Chapter 10
Casa Werewolf Series #10
Chapters 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9
Pairing: Javi Gutierrez x Werewolf Single Mom f!Reader
Summary: Placido’s confession threatens to unravel everything you and Javi have created together
Warnings: angst, deceit, panic/anxiety attack, language, implied sexuality, non-sexual nudity
Words: 3k
When Javi goes to speak to the headmistress of the private school, you head up to the third floor, where the triplets have their bedrooms and large play area. Javi transformed the space just for them and has instructed staff members not to enter it when the door is shut, which allows the kids to romp around in Wolf form whenever they want.
When you reach the top of the stairs, your heightened hearing picks up the quiet conversation they’re having.
“I don’t care if I get expelled. That place sucks,” Bo huffs.
“You have to go to school, though!” Tallulah protests. “Or you’ll grow up dumb.”
“I don’t need to be smart if I can play sports,” he argues.
“Do you have to be smart to do art?” Astrid asks.
You knock on the playroom door lightly, wait for them to invite you in, and then open it. They’re all on a sofa, looking morose.
“Mama, do you have to be smart to do art?” Astrid repeats.
“You’re already smart.” You crouch in front of them. “You don’t have to go to school to be smart, but you still do need to go to learn.”
“I don’t wanna go anymore!” Bo scowls.
You stroke a finger softly down his bruised face. “What if there was another school? Would you be open to that?”
“I dunno,” he grumbles.
Tallulah eyes you skeptically. “There are other schools?”
“There are. Mama and Javi are looking into them. I want you to learn in a place where you feel safe. Nobody should bully you. You shouldn’t have to fight other kids. Grownups need to do something besides yell and threaten when you need help. I’m going to find you somewhere that you don’t feel like you need to run away, okay?”
All three relax.
“Can I have a bubble bath?” Astrid asks hopefully.
You chuckle. “Of course you can.”
After Astrid is clean, you leave the triplets in Nina’s care to eat, and then go in search of Javi.
His study door is open and you see him on his computer. Immediately, you scent that he’s anxious. Knocking lightly on the door frame, you ask, “You all right?”
He starts, looking up at you like he’s been caught doing something naughty. “Oh, hi,” he says with an unconvincing breathless laugh.
“Did I catch you at a bad time?” you joke, although you’re disquieted by his mood. He’s so rarely unsettled.
He shakes his head. “I’m feeling a little shaky from earlier. Just residual nerves about what might have happened to the niños.”
You hum sympathetically, walking to his chair and hugging his neck from behind. “That’s very understandable.”
He turns to look at you with a genuine smile. “I was about to come find you to tell you the wonderful news. The headmistress of my alma mater is delighted to welcome them and the administration will be emailing the paper work today. I’m going to my attorney’s and then the bank to set up payment. By Monday, they’ll be attending classes!”
You laugh in delight. “Wow, that’s incredible! I can’t believe it’s happening that fast.”
He smiles, his tension easing at your reaction. “Tonight, should we go out somewhere to celebrate after we tell them?”
You beam. “Yes. And I’m going to call their current school and inform them that I’m pulling them all out. They’ll stay home the rest of the week.”
“I’m sure they won’t mind a little holiday,” he chuckles.
It’s a testament to how much they really don’t want to return to the public school that all of them, even Astrid, embrace the news excitedly.
After a delicious meal at the family’s favorite restaurant, the kids beg to go back to Javi’s to spend the night, claiming it’s basically the weekend since they’re not going to school again until Monday. It’s only Tuesday, but Javi’s more than willing, so you agree.
As you and he settle into his bed that evening, you sigh. It’s hard to believe only twelve hours ago you and he’d been in this exact spot, having no clue about the phone call you’d soon receive. “Fuck, what a day.”
He lets out a wheezy laugh in agreement.
As you throw a leg across his wonderfully soft tummy, a question pops out of your mouth before you’ve even properly considered it, “Should we think about moving in together?”
“Really?”
Even though you hadn’t expected to ask, you don’t regret bringing it up. “My lease is up in a couple months. And it’s obvious the kids would rather be here, anyway. So would I.” You laugh sheepishly. “I know I just made you jump through a bunch of hoops so I wouldn’t be financially dependent on you, but your willingness to come up with a solution has made me confident we can figure out the financials of living together, too.”
He looks at you with such adoration and excitement, running a thumb over your lips. “I would like that very much.” He laughs. “So very, very much!”
You giggle as his excitement quickly takes a more physical form.
- - -
After breakfast the next morning, you send the kids upstairs to entertain themselves so you can get some work done in the office Javi has created for you. Both Bo and Astrid’s injuries have completely healed thanks to the power of their Wolves, and you’re glad they’re staying home from school so you don’t have to coach Bo about what to say if someone asks why he has no bruise from being punched.
Just as you’re settling in front of the computer, Javi appears in the doorway, trying to hide his obvious strain behind a smile. “Do you have time to talk?”
“Of course, my love. What’s up?”
After shutting the door, he sits on the sofa and gestures for you to join him. When you do, he takes your hands. “There’s something I need to tell you, and it’s important that you know there’s nothing to worry about.”
You eye him. “Then, why do you reek of it?”
“I’m concerned about your reaction,” he admits.
“Oh, god, did the kids get rejected from the private school?” Shit, what are you going to do now? There really aren’t other schools nearby.
“No, no,” he reassures. “The school is fine. It’s… Placido. He… He knows you’re werewolves.”
“Wh-what?” you stammer.
He rushes on, “He’s not going to say anything to anyone, he swears. You and the niños are still safe.”
Breath shallow and ears ringing, all you can do is gape. Placido knows. You got lucky with Javi, a man so honorable that he deleted the footage of your children without even being asked. But lightning doesn’t strike twice, and, no matter how loyal Placido is to Javi, you can’t trust him not to tell such a huge secret.
Javi’s still talking, “He’s known for a long time. But he hasn’t said a word to anyone, not even me, until yesterday. He wanted—”
But you cut him off sharply, “He told you yesterday and you didn’t say anything to me?”
Javi grimaces apologetically. “After the scare you’d already had with the kids, I didn’t think you needed the stress.”
“‘The stress’?” you spit in disbelief.
"I'm sorry, I was—"
You cut him off, fury mounting, "You agreed to us moving into this house, knowing full-well that another human who works here knows about us?! It didn't occur to you that I needed to know that information before making any kind of decision?"
The guilt on his face is undeniable.
Let me out! the Wolf shrieks, shoving against your insides. She wants Javi to feel her wrath, too.
You ignore her, not willing to give up your words. “This is my family’s lives, Javi!”
“It’s my family’s lives, too!” he shoots back, suddenly matching your anger. "You are my family and, if I thought you were at risk, I'd have done something about it immediately. But Placido is not a risk!”
“You don’t understand the risk! You’ll never understand the risks because you’re not one of us!”
Your Wolf breaks through, ripping your clothes as she takes over your body. You stand in front of Javi on all fours, sides heaving. You want to snarl at him, to roar at him, but all that comes out is a strangled whimper.
How could he?
“Mi luz,” he whispers pleadingly, reaching out to touch your face.
You back away from him. The human part of you is yelling at the Wolf to let you transform back so you can get the kids and leave. But that suppressed side is no match for the frightened, hurt creature in control now.
Javi speaks in a quiet, grief-roughened voice. “I know I can’t completely understand what you’re going through because I’m not a Wolf. But I do understand the fear of losing your family because that’s what I’m feeling now. I’m scared you’re going to disappear and I’ll never see you or the pups again.” Tears shine in his eyes.
You stare at him, literally having no idea what to do. He’s your mate. But your children are also in terrible danger now. And he hid it from you for a whole night!
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you yesterday. I wanted time to figure out how to do it in a way that wouldn’t upset you.”
This time, when he reaches to touch you, you allow it. His beloved fingers move through the fur on your chest.
“If you need to disappear to another country, to change your identities, consider it done. I’ll make sure it happens. Just… please think about taking me, too.” The tears slip silently down his cheeks.
In the next breath, you’re human again, sitting on the floor, naked and weeping.
He slides down next to you, murmuring your name. But when he moves to hold you, you push yourself to your feet. “I need time to think about what to do. Could you get me something to wear so me and the kids can go home?” Your tone is curt.
Despite looking like you’ve punched him, Javi doesn’t protest. He slips from the room, closing the door silently behind him.
- - -
The kids know something’s wrong. It’s impossible to stuff your feelings deep enough for them not to sense them. But you have no idea what to tell them beyond you’ve got some things to take care of at home and you’d like them to come with you.
They follow you into the apartment, confused and worried. You inhale shakily, turning to them. “Mama’s got a lot of feelings right now. Would you give me an hour by myself to process them? I promise, it’s nothing you’ve done and nothing you need to worry about. Sometimes I just get overwhelmed.”
Bo gives you a tight hug around your middle. “You should eat a snack. That always helps me.”
You stroke his head, fighting back tears. “That’s a good idea.”
Tallulah and Astrid then hug you, too, offering their own sage advice of how to self-soothe, before your three darling kids go to their rooms.
You collapse onto the sofa, smothering your sobs into your hands. What are you supposed to do? Staying is impossible, but going feels just as impossible. To leave without Javi is to abandon a huge chunk of your heart. Yet, how can you ask him to abandon his home and livelihood? Not to mention, you’re really fucking pissed at him!
You’ve spiraled for who knows how long when there’s a soft but urgent knock at the door. Startled, you jump up. Javi promised to give you some space, so it won’t be him.
When you look out the peep hole, you’re alarmed to see Placido standing in the hallway. What does he want? Is he here to threaten you? Did Javi send him?
The Wolf is immediately at the ready again, a heartbeat away from emerging to protect your family.
Placido calls your name and then says, “Please, can we talk? I realize I should have come to you myself rather than make Javi the messenger. I was hoping it’d make you more comfortable, but now I realize you need to hear my story from me to understand the last thing I want is harm for you or your kids.”
He smells and sounds earnest. Very earnest. But you’re so keyed up it’s hard to trust your instincts. “Are you armed?”
“No. But even if I was, I’ve no doubt you could handle me.” There’s an admiring quality to his voice.
He’s right, you could handle him if you had to, especially this close to the full moon. And you would like to see if you can feel out his intentions.
You unlock the door and open it, hissing, “We will be going onto the balcony. Keep your voice low so the children won’t hear.”
Placido walks past you and directly to the door leading to the balcony. Once you’re both outside, arms crossed against the chill, you say, “Javi claims you’ve known since before him. Did you see the footage, too? Or one of them transform?”
“No, but I recognized the signs in Bo right away. How fast he ran when he got spotted on the compound, the way his body moved, his strength, and that he seemed to be able to hear conversations outside the range of a normal human’s hearing.”
You narrow your eyes at him. While it’s obvious that your children are fast, people don’t just assume lycanthropy. Unless… “We’re not the first Wolves you’ve met, are we?”
“My aunt married a werewolf,” he shrugs. “When we were kids, my cousins used to transform in front of me, even though they weren’t supposed to. Eventually, when it became clear I wasn’t going to tell anyone, I was embraced into that part of the family.”
It’s not common in mixed families for the humans who aren’t married to or children of werewolves to know what they are. But his whole countenance is steady and calm. There’s no hint of deceit coming from him.
“You’re the first person I’ve told about the Wolves I know,” he continues. “But since you’re a Wolf yourself, I think the secret is safe with you.”
You nod with a small smile. “Of course.”
Body feeling suddenly weak, you sink onto the patio bench. Your world might actually not be ending.
Placido sits next to you. “I only told Javi that I knew about you and the kids because I believe I can better protect them if you’re aware you have an ally. I sorry I didn’t approach you first, it was a misstep.”
“I’m not sure I'd have taken it any better if you'd told me yourself,” you sigh. “It’s so ingrained in me to be afraid of humans knowing what we are. Especially since becoming a single mother.”
“I can only imagine,” he says gently. “But I don’t think you have to stay a single mother any longer unless you want to.”
- - -
After Placido leaves, you take a long shower to give yourself extra time to think. Then, you text Javi, requesting he visit after the kids have gone to bed so you can talk.
When he arrives, he can barely look you in the eye and you can sense it’s taking every ounce of restraint for him not to literally fall on his knees and beg you to forgive him.
“Placido came to see me,” you say quietly.
His surprised expression, then worried one, indicate he had no idea.
“We talked for a while and he convinced me that he’s going to keep our secret.”
“How?”
“That’s between me and him,” you say with a small smile. “But now I believe he wants keep us safe, just like you do.”
Javi nods vigorously. “I fucked up, but I swear that’s all I want.”
You reach for his hand. “I know.”
His eyes drop, staring at your fingers entwined. “I’m so sorry. It was selfish and stupid. I have no excuses for breaking your trust. I’ll do whatever it takes to earn it again.”
“I forgive you,” you say honestly. “And I understand why you were worried about telling me. No matter how committed I’ve claimed to be to you, it’s probably felt like I’ve had one foot out the door, ready to bolt the same way my kids do at the first sign of trouble.”
He gives a little shrug and sheepish chuckle. “Just a little.”
Your chest clenches with the confirmation you’ve hurt him. “I’m sorry. Really, truly sorry.”
“No, mi amor, you have nothing—“
You interrupt, “I do. If I had sensed that kind of hesitation in you, I’d never have been with you. But you chose to risk your heart on a family that might break it at any second.” Now that you’re saying it out loud, it makes you want to cry.
Javi touches your cheek, smiling tenderly. “I never once questioned if you were worth it.”
Wrapping your arms around his neck, you rest your forehead against his. “If we ever do have to leave, I’m not going without you. Because you were right: we are a family. And I’m going to fight for you the same way I fight for my kids. The same way you fight for us. We are pack.”
His eyes shimmer joyfully. “We are pack.”
You give him a coy smile. “Are there any other facts I need to be aware of before we move in?”
“Just that I love you very, very much.”
“I think I can live with that,” you grin, leaning in. You catch his mouth with yours, letting the Wolf out just enough that the kiss leaves him a quivering mess. And then you kiss him like that again.
- - -
Thank you SO much for reading this story; I’d love to hear your thoughts! 🥰
Spanish Translations/Notes:
mi luz - my light
niños - kids
mi amor - my love
Taglist: @ilovetaquitosmmmm @gallowsjoker @miraclesabound @littledragonlady @fangirl-316 @sourdoughbreadbaby @atrxidxs @tiffanypooh @mostclevermiss @nembees
Javi Gutierrez Masterlist
Werewolf Masterlist
#javi guiterrez#javi gutierrez x reader#tuwomt fan fic#the unbearable weight of massive talent fan fic#javi g#werewolf au#werewolf reader#casa werewolf series
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sorry i've been gone for a bit! i'm alive and doing quite a bit better. Was discharged from the hospital. Personal shit below.
soooo i got hospitalized for trying to die on everyone. the psych ward was pretty nice even though it was boring as fuck. literally all there was to do was watch TV or draw, so yeah. I did learn that i hate commercials with a passion and the BK commercial was sung flat on PURPOSE because they're trying to be more #relatable. Makes me not wanna get BK. Forgot how fucking horrible cable TV was. Glad I don't have it. It's like 55% commercials 45% shows. A real cesspool of garbage if you ask me.
This ward would have you ask for anything though, but I figured out the purpose is to get you used to asking for help. Yeah, it takes away autonomy because you had to ask for towels and for them to unlock the shower, ask for snacks, ask for personal hygiene items, etc, but at the very least it helped me get used to asking for things instead of just silently suffering. The staff was really nice to me and I made a couple friends.
Charlie, I know you don't use tumblr, but you're a wonderful human being and I hope you stick to your discharge plan because you deserve to be happy. You were the brightest light I saw in the ward, and people love you because you're just so easy and fun to be around. Naynay I hope your mom doesn't make your schizophrenia worse. You were fun to talk to about anime and cats. I wish you the best, and hope you can live your bisexual life to the fullest. Beth, you have a beautiful family and I hope you're feeling well enough to get through school despite the language barrier. You're brilliant. You got this. Josh, I'm sorry I called you buddy and I hope you start trusting the staff enough to take your meds. Evelynn, I hope you also start taking your meds. You were very kind to me and deserve to not be plagued by shit. I hope you're able to start trusting people again soon. It's not easy, but you're a strong, confident woman who can do anything you set your mind to.
But enough mushy stuff.
I found out just how badly I was being treated by my family. I didn't quite realize it until my beloved Jaspie also had to deal with them. They treated him very poorly, but also were incredibly tone deaf about the entire situation. My parents, who are divorced, couldn't bury the hatchet to support me. They were competing with each other the entire time, and were very performative. I'm still coming to terms with the trauma inflicted and just how much it affects me today. I'm 27 and still dealing with it. I have trouble asking for help, feeling my emotions, and trusting others to have my best interests in mind. I. Am. Traumatized. I have trauma. It's ok. I'm allowed to have these issues. I have panic attacks. I didn't even realize that's what was going on until I was hospitalized and had the safety of the ward. I didn't have tools needed to deal with those, tools to identify my emotions, or tools to deal with my trauma. While I'm still a work in progress, I'm going to be ok I think. I got medication that works and tools to help my mental health.
It's ok to admit yourself to a psych ward. If you do, you'll be able to check the ward before you go and make sure it's a good, reputable place to go. Pass the burrito test n' stuff. Plus, the staff will give you a bit more freedom with stuff cuz, at least, you were cognizant enough to recognize that you needed help.
The staff set up appointments with my psychiatrist and therapist for me. All I have to do is get online and click on the email to go to my appointment. It was really helpful that I didn't have to worry about that.
Speaking of things I didn't have to worry about, Jaspie, if you're reading this far down, I can't thank you enough for everything you've done for me this past week. You helped me realize that it's not my fault that I'm like this. It was definitely my parents that fucked me up. You had to deal with them for a short while, but you immediately could tell that they weren't good for me. I was a child and got beaten for it. I was a child and got screamed at for it. I was a child and was abused and all this stuff finally came boiling over. I'm sorry that this was something that I had to go through. You were an unstoppable force of love throughout my week there. An indomitable, shining light that phased through space, time and reality just to support and love me unconditionally. I'll love you forever and always.
Chase, thank you for being here for me when I got out. We're going to make luhzaga tonight. You helped me get my computer back to a working order through a friend, and support me when my dad had me visit one day after I was discharged. Your hilarity, actions, and love for me mean more than I can express.
And lastly, Molly, my god dude. You were more supportive than my family too. Thank you for loving me. Thank you for caring about me. Thank you for calling me without being asked.
I digress, but TLDR;
GET THERAPY. GO TO THE FUCKING PSYCH WARD IF YOU WANT TO KILL YOURSELF.
Bitch.
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Biscuit
Sweet as Sugar Masterlist
trigger warnings: lady whumper, noncon drugging (spiked drink), manipulation, classism, pet whump vibes but no pet whump yet
“Why don’t you come over for a drink, actually?” Saccharine smiled, pretending not to notice the blush creeping across Myles’ cheeks. The show had ended, and she had sold the pet for a good amount. It was time for a new challenge.
“Me? You- you never invite me over…” he stammered, and she shrugged.
“It’s not a must. I was just offering.”
“No, no, that’s not what I mean! Of course I wanna come! I was just surprised!”
She chuckled and motioned towards the limousine already waiting by the entrance. “Come, then. We’ll give you a lift.”
His reaction to the chauffeur and the car and almost everything she interacted with was highly amusing. Even the driver’s simple question - “Is he a friend of yours, Miss le Roux?” - made his entire face light up with pride. Even if Saccharine only replied with a passive “sort of.”
The champagne in the car didn’t even taste that good, yet he gulped it down like it was the nectar of the gods. Distasteful. Champagne this bad should’ve just been left there so the cleaning staff would be able to take a hint and replace it, but alas, she would have to make the request directly later on.
Myles stared at the le Roux mansion wide-eyed, in complete awe. “Does this all belong to your family?” he asked tentatively, not quite believing it.
“No,” she swiped her card on the electric panel, making the door swoosh open. “It belongs to me.”
-
Saccharine let him explore a bit, let him run around like some excited puppy who had just gotten a new toy. She needed some time to prepare the drinks, maybe putting a little too much sedative in it. Myles was getting annoying, and she wanted to make sure he’d stay knocked out long enough for her headache to go away.
She beckoned the man over, and he came running. Quite well-trained already. “Come, sit down, I want to talk to you about something. We could say it’s quite serious.”
Myles sat down with a concerned expression, brows knitted together in nervous anticipation. “What’s up? I knew you wouldn’t just invite me over for nothing.”
How observant.
“I want to talk about the loans you took out.”
The colour drained from his face, and Saccharine could see him start to bounce his leg. He took a sip from the spiked drink just so he wouldn’t have to talk. “Y-Yeah. Of course. What would you like to know?”
“Why, I want you to list them, of course.” She had her phone open next to her, the cursor in the calculator flickering expectantly.
He took another sip and nodded jerkily. Then he started talking. Loans upon loans, thousands upon thousands, owing all the big families, of course even including the Bonneys. She couldn’t help but make a face when she heard it. She’d have to send someone else for that diplomatic mission.
“That’s all,” he finished quietly. His drink was gone, and he was fidgeting with his hands under the table, his gaze firmly fixed on one of the wooden legs of it. It was a huge sum. She was doing him an incredible favour.
“Right.” She stopped the voice recording as well, immediately copying it into an email and sending it to her assistant with the message ‘take care of these for me, thank you x’. “I’m going to help you.”
Myles’ head snapped back up, and he looked at Saccharine like she was an angel. A saint. “Y-You said you didn’t want a partner- you said-”
“I don’t. Business is going great with just me alone.”
“So then- then what- are you just paying me for nothing? Paying off my debts? What- I don’t understand…”
She took a sip of her own drink, placed the expensive glass down, and began breaking up a painkiller. Pesky headache, made worse by his every word. “That’s okay. I’ll explain when you wake up.”
Myles looked even more confused than before. “I’m literally awake. Should I go? Is that my cue? Should I go and sleep on it, and then-”
“No, Myles. I mean shut your mouth finally, and go lie down on the couch. If you faint on these barstools, you’re going to bash your head in.”
“I don’t-” Before he could’ve finished, the effects finally hit him. Saccharine could see as he lost his balance for a moment, then quickly scrambled to get off the chair and stumble towards the couch. He almost made it - collapsing just before the cushions. She sighed and took her pill.
“They never listen, do they?” She didn’t have the energy for a phone call, and ended up shooting a text to her little helper. The guy could easily throw the pets around, making her life so much easier.
When Myles was safely transported down to the training area, she stood up to look for a little snack, peeking inside all the cabinets and finding nothing that interested her.
Until something did.
It was an old pack of biscuits, the kind no one really ate around the house, and it was only there to be offered to annoying guests. How fitting.
Another text sent, and the custom dog tag with Biscuit engraved on it was soon in the making.
~
taglist: @whumpsday @lonesome--hunter @hidden-dreamland @throwawaywhumper
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MAKE A HOLIDAY: Chapter 1
happy holidays... maybe?
next part (chapter 2)
With the “HoneyPre 1st Anniversary Live” behind them, the members of Full Throttle4 commenced the preparations for their next live.
They gathered for a meeting to come up with the best ways to surprise LIPxLIP, mona, and Minami even further.
However, the other members noticed that IV was behaving differently from how he usually would, and grew concerned about him—
A few days after the “HoneyPre 1st Anniversary Live”—
IV: …And that’s how it is for now, but do you get the idea about how the next song is going to go?
MEGU: Yup! It sounds really good!
RIO: You’re going to polish it up a little more, aren’t you?
IV: Of course I will. I’ll let you listen to it again once it’s completed.
DAI: So are we done with talking ‘bout the new song? Let’s jump to the main topic, yeah?
DAI: I’m dying to talk about the next live.
IV: You’re really looking forward to it, aren’t you?
MEGU: We got to see our cute juniors try their very best during the last live, didn’t we?
MEGU: I wanna show them an even more amazing performance, y’know~☆
YUI: As we’re their seniors, we gotta show them the differences in our abilities, right?!
DAI: We’d be the only ones performing at our next live, so let’s run as wild as we want.
MEGU: Dooon’t you just wanna make LIPxLIP make even mooore expressions of frustration?!
DAI: Let’s make sure that they know they’ll never be a match for us.
YUI: I’ll be sure to provoke Minami this time.
RIO: That’d be next to impossible for you, though.
MEGU: I wanna see a look of frustration on mona’s face too~☆
DAI: That’d be an easily understood response, yeah?
IV: (Phew, it looks like they were a good source of motivation for Full Throttle4 after all.)
IV: I’ve come up with a few ideas for the live.
IV: I’ve also had some discussions with MEGU and DAI about it.
MEGU: I’m thinking of how I should go about adding a solo part for the dance.
RIO: That sounds like a good idea. You can decide on how long it’s going to be, and direct it as you please…
DAI: I’m prolly gonna stand out because of the stark differences between the quality of my performance compared to you guys.
MEGU: But I’m gonna give a sharp and snappy performance too, y’know?
YUI: I wanna try performing with a video in the background!
RIO: Wouldn’t it be interesting if we tried to perform a live comprised of nothing but new songs?
IV: (They’re coming up with more and more ideas… They’re really looking forward to the solo live, aren’t they?)
IV: (This could get really interesting.)
RIO: …So, what do you think, IV?
IV: All of it sounds good. I’ll think over your ideas when I get home.
IV: We need to look for the next step that Full Throttle4’s gonna take.
IV: …Oh, it’s time for the staff meeting. I’ll be heading off first, but will you guys still remain here?
MEGU: We’ve got some time before our interview, so… we’ll be chatting for a little longer!
RIO: Would it be fine if we emailed the ideas that we come up with to you, IV?
IV: Yeah, I’ll leave that to you. …Well then, see you tomorrow.
DAI: Hey… IV, don’t you look rather pale?
MEGU: Aren’t you feeling a little tired?
IV: …I’m as equally tired as you guys. Well then, don’t be late for your next job, okay?
YUI: I don’t think… he’s as equally tired as us, though.
RIO: I’m worried about him…
MEGU: I knew IV has been working way too hard lately…! What if he collapses again…?
DAI: That guy takes on each and everything by himself, huh.
YUI: What does IV normally do anyway?
DAI: That’s, y’know… everything?
RIO: He writes our new songs, attends staff meetings, deals with all of the formal procedures, and the paperwork too…
MEGU: He reeeally does do everything!
DAI: Didn’t I just say that he does everything?!
MEGU: If he’s working this hard all by himself, he’ll collapse from overwork!
YUI: …That’d be bad, won’t it?
YUI: Why don’t we take over IV’s work for him? That way, he can get some rest, right?!
MEGU: That’s true! Agree~eed!
RIO: It’s decided, then!
#the ftiv ft. iv ivent#<-yeah i'm running low on ideas for tl tags lmaoooo#and yes once again liberties were taken in this tl. may polish it up later idk#fedora translations4#just honeypre things#and welcome to day xxx of wondering if ft4 is or isn't part of moebius-#i wanna know more about them but it'll probs be either retconned (like 80% of novel content) botched (like the anime) or both-
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Answering Questions: wave 1
Curious Cat's Questions
🌟Question: hi! for the interest form what does “spot art” mean?
✨Answer: "Spot art" are small illustrations dedicated to fill the empty space and compliment the bigger picture of the zine's layout and design, usually found alongside the writing. Hope that helps!
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🌟Question: i already asked this in the questions portion of the interest check, but just to be sure ill put it here; would polyamourous agent ships be allowed in the zine ?
✨Answer: Yes! We look forward to showcase all kinds of relationships, this including polyamourous ones!
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🌟Question: I'm sorry if the question was already asked, I'm a bit lost. How can I apply to enter the fanzine? I'm interested but it's the first time I'm trying so I'm a bit lost.
✨Answer: We are just starting Interest Check so for now it isn't possible. Please, fill it out if you're interested in joining! Our Contributor applications open in about a month in May 29th and close in June 30th; they'll be handled through a google form we will share on our social media you can fill up once launched to apply!
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🌟Question: Already asked on the zine, but do agent 1 and agent 2 (Callie and Marie) count as agents, or do they count as canon characters? I originally planned to show my 4x8 ship, but if my Cap'n 3 x Marie ship were also allowed I would like to know.
✨Answer: Yes, Callie and Marie count as canon characters so any ship involving them wouldn't be allowed.
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🌟Question: Is this zine "first-time" friendly? I've never been on one before, and I wanna know if I can apply or not 🙏🏽
✨Answer: It is, you do not need prior zine experience to apply!
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🌟Question: Do ships have to be only agent x agent or can they also be agent x non agent?
✨Answer: Yes, both are okay!
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🌟Question: I have an Agent 3 and Agent 8 oc and was wondering if this zine is anything like the Agent 24 zine that's also happening right now?
✨Answer: Both zines center around Splatoon and shipping agents but each one focuses are different! We focus on multiple ships between and with agent OCs while Agent 24 focuses exclusively on the Agent 24 ship!
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Interest Check Form's Questions
🌟Question 1: Hi would you guys be looking for a writer mod for your project? Just wanted to ask since some zines I feel don't always want to include writers . I'm hoping for a bigger ratio than 3 writers for this project but I'll wait and see if you guys need any zine help ^^
🌟Question 2: Any idea how many staff, writers and artists you're looking for? Also if someone gets picked to help with the zine can they also apply to be an artist?
✨Answer for both: We aren't looking to recruit moderators for this zine. Between the actual staff we cover all the areas where specialized mods would be needed. For example, Rebiisea, one of the hosts, is the writer mod due to her vast experience with many writing projects. We are still figuring out the artist and writer cap the zine will have, currently we are thinking of somewhere around 70 contributors cap (including artists and writers all together) but this is subject to change!
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🌟Question: I don't have a discord account, and I wouldn't be getting one anytime soon. I understand the fact that zines often use discord for easier communication. For this zine and for future applications, would every artist who'll get accepted need a discord account?
✨Answer: Yes, you need a discord account as all communication will be done through the zine's dedicated discord server. Without one, we cannot accept you as communication would be difficult.
-----
If you have a question/feedback, don't be afraid to send an ask, DM or email us!!
✨Interest check HERE!! https://forms.gle/WmFRo2DHPNuhMxbe9
✨Carrd: https://classifiedlovezine.carrd.co/
🌟Twitter: https://twitter.com/agentshipzine
✨Curiouscat: https://curiouscat.live/ClassifiedLove_Zine
🌟Email: [email protected]
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the thought of having to make a whole new stim blog genuinely fills me with so much frustration and intense desire to not have to do that, but if tumblr support does not deem me worthy of actual help, or even so much as another unhelpful reply, by like, the start of february i just might have to for the sake of my own sanity tbh. i barely come on tumblr anymore because i always just think "ooh i wanna make a stimboard for [thing]" and then think "but why should i put the time and effort in when the blog i'd post it on has been shadowbanned for months on end" and get sad and annoyed. i don't even know if i should send another ticket again or if i'm just supposed to wait forever and ever for a reply that might never come. i don't understand why staff isn't helping me or why they told me they fixed the glitch on their end before when i can tell they didn't. yes i'm being overdramatic but i'm so sick of obsessively checking my email every day to make sure i didn't miss a reply to one of my tickets and then being disappointed every day.
#star.txt#not a stim#a mutual on my main told me recently that they also just got un-shadowbanned after 2 months??#this is frankly just completely unacceptable from staff lmao#also. if they DID fix the glitch on their end and there's somehow a problem on my end i'm not realizing?? they should fucking tell me!#i'm so tired! my blog has been broken for 3 months and support is refusing to give me support!
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