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for-fucks-sake-h · 4 years

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As You Held Onto Me - Three

*a/n: Hello and welcome to part three! Sorry it’s so late, I’ve been hyping myself up to actually share it. This part in general is a lot, so I’m giving you fair warning now. I owe the biggest thank you to my loves @holy-wine-and-daydreams @she-guitar-solo @oh-honey-styles @imethiminthemorning for all their love and support.

CATCH UP ON PREVIOUS PARTS HERE

Rated: M, mature // Word Count: 8.8k

Sometimes, love can feel like it’s everything. And sometimes, we hope it can be.

***

- Friday, November 25, 2014 -

“Harry,” you moaned from deep in your chest as your orgasm threatened to explode through your body.

His face was tucked into your neck, abruptly pulling back to lean on his elbows and hover over you. His eyes were hooded with pleasure and his hips rolled into yours in perfect harmony with his grunts.

“Yeah, come on.” He bit his lip as his nose brushed yours, his entire body pressed to yours as he fucked into you.

You scratched your nails down his back until you could press crescent moons indents into his ass cheeks. He was radiating heat, sweat forming on both your foreheads. Your legs were wrapped around his thighs as a measly way to anchor yourself to him. His mouth was hot on yours when he kissed you but breaking quickly as another moan escaped his throat.

His hand traveled down from where it had found purchase squeezing your breast until he could wedge his palm between your bodies, fingers grazing over your clit. His eyes roamed your face as he played you while his other hand cupped your neck.

“Yes,” you moaned softly, the word getting caught in your throat.

He grunted in response as his hips pounded harder until you were snapping your head back into the pillow and moaning out your orgasm. His pace became sloppy immediately in an attempt to hold himself off a few seconds longer, but failing as you spasmed around him.

He dropped onto you, groaning into your neck while his hips sputtered at the end of his orgasm.

You sunk further into the mattress that laid on the floor of your new apartment a mere 20 minutes prior. Your and Harry’s limbs melted together as you came down, all the tension floating away with your orgasms.

There was a thud from above you and then the distinct sound of a toddler’s screeching cry and a woman's voice yelling I told you to get down!

Harry rolled off you with a grunt and a chuckle, “Gonna be you one day.”

You slapped his shoulder as you laughed, dramatically rolling off the mattress and onto the floor before getting up to head to your bathroom.

It was the first night in your new home -- a 550 square foot studio apartment that you and Harry could just barely afford together. He brought his queen size mattress from home and your parents let you have your dresser from home, and that was it.

Your and Harry’s parents weren’t totally against you moving in together, but they weren’t exactly all for it either. You were young, and in the grand scheme of life, you hadn’t been together that long.

But you knew Harry was it for you. And he knew you were it for him.

So it was you and Harry and your sparsely decorated apartment’s first night together. And you were beaming with happiness as you took in your messy hair and flushed cheeks as you washed your hands at your small pedestal sink.

When you appeared in the doorway, Harry was sitting in the center of the mattress with a blanket over his lap and a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in his hand.

You smiled at your boyfriend as you climbed down next to him, tucking your cold feet under the blanket before taking the sandwich from his extended hand.

“Happy?” He asked after you took a bite and passed it back to him.

“Very,” you smiled as you tucked a curled piece of hair behind his ear and gave a small scratch to his scalp.

He smiled before taking a bite of the sandwich and passing it back to you. He was quiet as he chewed, seemingly pondering something.

“I know it’s not much,” he spoke after a beat, “But I promise I’ll work to give you everything you want. If you let me.”

You smiled as he tugged on your heart strings while he gazed down at his knees. “You already do,” you stated simply.

He turned to you, a smile forming on his gorgeous mouth that made your skin tingle. He cupped one side of your face, pulling you in to slant his mouth over yours in a sweet kiss.

He chucked his first two fingers under your chin when he pulled away. “Eat.”

You did as you were told before passing the sandwich back to him for the last bite. You were quiet as you listened to your new neighbors filter through your walls. There was definitely a toddler, you already knew that. But you also heard a newborn crying and another child that yelled so clearly about wanting to watch another episode.

“Do you ever think about it?” He asked once you’d both laid back down, curled under your shared blanket, both of your heads resting on a pillow.

You watched where you traced your finger along his jaw and over his lips. “Think about what?”

“Having a family,” he spoke slowly.

You ran your forefinger down the bridge of his nose while his rested steady on your hip. “Yeah, sometimes.”

He was quiet as his fingers flexed on your hip. “Do you ever… think about it with me?”

You looked up to his eyes to be met with him intently gazing back at you. His mouth was parted and his breathing was shallow as he waited for your response.

“Of course I do,” you confirmed in a soft voice.

You were both quiet for a moment before he continued. “I think about it a lot.”

“You do?”

He shrugged sheepishly, “Yeah.”

“Since when?”

“A few months now,” he pushed your hair back off your shoulder before grazing his hot palm down your side to wrap around your back and pull you even closer. “I definitely want a family with you.”

“Now?” You asked with wide eyes.

He laughed fully before quickly kissing your shocked mouth. “Not now. But when we’re ready. When it’s the right time for us.”

“Oh,” you relaxed into him. “Yeah, I want that too.”

He smiled as he pulled you into him and kissed you slowly. His mouth was sweet yet powerful. It took everything it gave and more. His tongue was sure as it grazed yours and his hands were strong as he held you. He made you feel safe in every aspect imaginable.

And you willingly gave everything you had to him, as long as you could keep that feeling forever.

***

- Friday, September 6, 2019 -

You smiled at Harry when he glanced over at you, wind blowing into your open windows as his hand squeezed your thigh.

You were eight weeks pregnant and excitedly headed to your first ultrasound. Since you’d gotten the news, you and Harry had been on such a high. You often talked about how you couldn’t believe it was finally happening, discussions of whether you thought it was a girl or boy, how you would share the news with your families. You made a framed picture with the words “Baby Styles arriving March 2020” in cursive lettering and bought a tiny pair of knitted slippers to display in a shadow box as an announcement.

You were so completely and totally overjoyed you could barely keep the smile off your face.

All the pain you’d been feeling, all the tension, all the blood tests and doctor’s visits and procedures were worth it for that feeling.

You both had taken the day off with plans of going to your ultrasound and then heading upstate for a weekend getaway. You’d woken up slowly, brisk sunlight beaming through your windows that carefully stirred you from sleep. You made love to your husband, showered together, had breakfast together, and then headed to your appointment with bliss written all over your face.

You both kept your smiles at bay in the waiting room, holding hands as you waited for your name to be called. You couldn’t help but look at the other women in that room and wish you could tell them it would get better. You hoped for them that it would get better.

“Styles.”

You took a deep breath as excited nerves overtook your system.

The wait felt like an eternity once you were sitting on the exam bed with a paper sheet laid over your lap. Your knee bounced as you stole glances at your husband while he gnawed on his lip. When he felt you looking at him, he smiled before standing up to lean in and press a soft kiss to your mouth.

A quick knock on the door had Steph, one of the nurse practitioners, entering the room with a smile.

“Hi guys,” she greeted warmly. “How are we feeling?”

“Good,” you and Harry said in unison before chuckling softly.

“Good,” she laughed. “Okay I’m gonna have you lay back, love.”

She leaned over you to grip the lever on the back of the bed to slowly lower you back. She grabbed the pillow that she had tucked under her arm and gingerly placed it behind your head before checking that you were comfortable.

She spoke as she started to put a pair of gloves on. “Okay, you know the deal, relax your knees and scoot down to the edge.” You did as instructed while she squirted a dollop of warm gel onto the top of the ultrasound probe. “We’ll find the heartbeat first and then take a few measurements. And I’ll try to get as many pictures for you as I can,” she smiled.

“Thanks Steph,” you returned softly.

She’d been with you since the beginning and you’d developed an attachment to her that you couldn’t explain. She was there for every procedure and test and was nothing shy of amazing through your journey with that office. She really felt like your ally and you knew she had genuinely been rooting for you.

She lifted the probe from it’s holder, “Alright mom, let’s see this baby.”

Your heart fluttered as you smile over to Harry, reaching out to link your fingers together. All three of you were quiet as Steph found your little baby, cozy in the bottom left corner of your uterus.

You waited as she clicked a few buttons on her computer as she moved the probe inside you to get a better angle.

Ten seconds.

Thirty seconds.

A minute.

Your heart was beating wildly in your chest.

Steph clicked a few more buttons, another twist of the probe before clearing her throat.

“I’m- I’m so sorry.” Her tone and demeanor were so regretful that you already knew.

And it was as if your entire world stopped.

You were completely silent as Harry asked questions on your behalf.

Why did it happen? What could you do?

Dr. Sobel came in to double check and confirm that your baby didn’t have a heartbeat. His eyes were sad as he delivered the news to you and your husband.

You sat in a daze as Harry asked him the same questions that he’d already asked Steph. There was talk about something called a D&C, somehow it would be less painful then letting it happen naturally. You found yourself agreeing without even really listening. Scheduling an appointment for a few days later, Harry adding the date to his calendar. Apologies and pitiful eyes looked back at you from every person you had to speak to.

You couldn’t get out of that office fast enough. You were silent as you walked back to your car, emptier than ever.

And as soon as you’d closed the car doors, you sobbed.

***

- Monday, September 9, 2019 -

A soft brush of your hair stirred you from sleep. The room was pitch black aside from the hallway light that shone through your open bedroom door. You blinked as Harry came into focus, perched on the edge of your bed as he pet your hair.

“I have some soup for you,” he whispered.

You buried your face into the pillow in response. It was late, you could tell by the silence outside. You’d slept on and off all day, for three days straight. When you were awake, you cried. You cried until you couldn’t breathe and then forced yourself back to sleep.

“Come on, love. It’s almost 11, can’t eat anything after this.”

You didn’t move. You barely ate anything the last few days, a few bites of whatever food Harry would bring to you and plead with you to eat. Hunger was the last thing you felt.

As if you could possibly feel anything apart from the gut wrenching pain.

Your D&C was the following morning. A surgery in which your doctor would scrape your uterus clear and would most likely feel like a continuous scrape to your heart.

“A couple bites for me love, please.”

His voice was sad, his tone a quiet beg. You brushed your nose across your pillow as tears burned your closed eyes. You sat up slowly, scooting back to lean against your headboard.

Harry lifted the bowl from your night stand to carefully hand it to you. He watched you balance it on your knee as you took your first bite, a tear silently rolling down your cheek. He brushed it away with the pad of his thumb, his eyes steady on you with the ever present crease between his brows.

Six spoonfuls and you were turning to put the half empty bowl back on your night stand. You slouched down into bed, pulling your comforter up over your shoulder.

Harry was quiet as he watched you, his hands clasped together in his lap.

“Can I join you?” He asked softly after a beat.

You wordlessly slid over towards the center of the bed, pulling the comforter down to open a spot for him. He slid under the covers, the warmth you already created encasing him as he rested his head on the edge of his pillow. You watched him through watery eyes as he solemnly gazed back at you.

The silence was deafening and yet you couldn’t even bring yourself to say anything.

He looked so defeated. That was the first time you really looked at your husband’s tired eyes since the ultrasound. His heartbreak was written all over his face.

His hand was tentative when he reached for you, slowly sliding over your waist as he moved closer until he could rest his forehead against yours. The soft cotton of his pants brushed your bare legs as he tangled your heavy limbs together. His fingers circled against your lower back while your hands rested against his chest in a ball.

“I hate seeing you like this,” he choked quietly.

You knew he was trying to keep it together for you, but his emotions were laced through every word he spoke.

He was hurting too.

You wrapped your arms under his biceps, pressing yourself fully against his chest. The contact had him choking down a cry immediately and pressing his face into your neck as he held you tighter.

“I’m sorry,” you cried.

He pulled his head from your neck quickly to look at you with wet cheeks. His palms firmly clasped on either side of your face. “Stop. Please, don’t.”

You cried together, holding each other well into the night until you both passed out from exhaustion.

***

- Friday, October 11, 2019 -

The past month had been one of the most difficult times in your life.

You were silently mourning the loss of a child you never even got to meet. You went to work, a place that used to take your mind off the things going on in your life, now not even capable of distracting you.

You thought about it constantly. It came in waves. You were desperately trying to go about your life, keep it together. Yet you still found yourself hiding in the bathroom as you cried into a wad of toilet paper. When the rush of sadness would come over you, you’d escape to anyplace you could be alone just so you could cry.

You and Harry had been exceedingly gentle with each other. All and all, your home was as solemn as it could get.

In the beginning, you often cried in the shower at night, a place where you could usually hide it from him. You thought if he didn’t see it, he wouldn’t be as affected by it. But he knew. Most times, he came and found you with your palms pressed to the wall as the water curtained your hair around your face. Nine times out of ten, he quietly undressed and slipped in behind you, turning you gently so that you could cry into his chest.

As the days and weeks passed, there was always a dull pain just behind your eyes.

You had your follow up appointment with Dr. Sobel that afternoon. He had called a week after your surgery to check on you and ask that you make an appointment with the office to see him to go over your options, if you wanted them.

If you were honest with yourself, you weren’t really sure. You and Harry hadn’t really talked about it. You hadn’t really talked about anything.

“Babe?” You heard Harry’s voice echoed through the house as he closed the back door.

He rounded the corner into the kitchen to find you screwing the lid onto a thermal coffee mug before silently extending it to him. You knew your husband and the afternoon coffee pick-me-ups that he enjoyed.

His smile was small as he took the mug and leaned in to press a soft kiss to your cheek. “You ready?”

You nodded, grabbing your own travel mug off the counter and linking your fingers with his.

***

“I know it sounds like a long shot. But, it’s the only thing I’ve considered that would give us some explanation as to why you weren’t getting pregnant and also why you miscarried.”

“But, no one in my family has any autoimmune disorders,” you shook your head as you looked across Dr. Sobel’s desk.

“I know, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t need to be passed down. It’s actually very rare and not usually hereditary,” he explained.

Harry was quiet beside you; your fingers linked together as Dr. Sobel explained his reasoning.

Antiphospholipid syndrome.

It was a big, scary word with an even scarier description. Dr. Sobel explained it as an autoimmune disorder that’s main symptons were, one, being prone to blood clots and two, the possibility of miscarriage.

“But… I’ve never had a blood clot.”

“I know, but you see, there are rare cases when the disorder is only present during pregnancy. You could have been clotting early on and we would have never known.”

You looked over at Harry, skeptical. It sounded like a stretch and just one more thing that would end up disappointing you.

Harry turned back to Dr. Sobel. “So, what’s your suggestion?”

“It will only take a blood test to know if I’m right. And you don’t have to decide anything right away.”

“Well, what if I have it?” You asked, squeezing Harry’s hand tighter.

“If you do, I would set you up with a Hematologist to go over everything in detail. But typically, you would take an injectable blood thinner throughout your pregnancy.”

“A shot?” Harry asked wearily.

Dr. Sobel nodded, “It sounds scary, but really the needle is very small, and usually shot in the belly or hips. You can do it for her or she could even give it to herself.”

You were overwhelmbed. Harry was overwhelmed, you could tell just by looking at him and the way he held your hand firmly in his grip. Of course Dr. Sobel didn’t think it sounded that intense, he was used to things like this. But it was a lot. An injection every single day? That would be a long nine months.

“I know it’s still fresh,” Dr. Sobel eased. “Maybe take some time to think about it. Or just do the blood test and we’ll go from there. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

Harry’s eyes were already on yours when you turned to him, waiting to see your reaction.

“I guess we could do a blood test. It would probably be good for me to know either way, right?”

You justified your reasoning out loud, even though it was mainly for yourself.

***

Your drive home was familiar; deja vu running rapidly through your mind. You’d had the same type of drive home time and time again from that office, with uncertainty engraved in every corner of your mind.

“How’re you feeling?” Harry asked after a while.

“Overwhelmed?” You replied in a questioning tone.

“Yeah, me too.”

You were both quiet again for a few red lights, contemplating the options you could possibly have depending on your blood work results.

“I really don’t know if I can do it again, Harry.” You spoke after a while. “If we try again, and it doesn’t work out… I don’t know if I can handle it.” Tears sprung to your eyes. “That might... really break me,” you chuckled sadly, as if you weren’t already broken.

“I know, baby.” He reached out to pet the back of your head before he slipped his warm fingers under your hair to rest at the back of your neck. “Let’s just see what happens. You don’t have to decide anything yet.”

You gazed over at your husband, his jaw ticking as he drove through your quiet neighborhood. He flashed the smallest smile at you before pulling into your driveway. It was the first time that you’d felt anything aside from pain when you looked at him. As much as he told you it wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help but feel like you let him down. But deep down, you knew they were your own feelings that you were projecting onto him.

In reality, he’d been the rock that kept you from sinking. He was good to you; there whenever or however you needed him. Especially when it would have been so much easier for him to be weak.

You slipped off your shoes and dropped your bag on the bench at your back door, Harry following close behind to place his own shoes next to yours.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” you spoke over your shoulder as you headed towards your stairwell.

You could feel him watching you before he answered in a low voice. “Oh, okay love.”

“Wanna come with me?” You turned around to look at him from the bottom step, watching the way his features relaxed before nodding.

He silently followed you up to your ensuite and watched from where he leaned against the doorway as you turned the shower on and adjusted the temperature. You liked it scolding hot despite your sensitive skin. If you didn’t feel like the day was burned off you, what was the point?

You glanced over your shoulder at Harry with a small smile before dropping your clothes in a pile at your feet to step between the steamed glass. You walked directly into the water, strong pellets hitting your face and hair. You quickly felt your anxiety start to dissipate as the hot water soothed your skin.

Minutes passed before you turned around and pushed your hair away from your face. Harry was still leaning against the doorframe, arms crossed against his chest as he silently observed you.

You could make out the slight scowl on his face through the fogged glass. You couldn’t blame him. It had been an intense day and you didn’t exactly make any effort to comfort him before this. A shower was the first branch that you extended in a long, long time.

“H, come on,” you pled softly.

His eyes fluttered momentarily before he was stepping into the bathroom and pulling his shirt over his head. You watched him undress and warmth pooled in your stomach as you waited for him to join you.

He slid the glass door open, cold air prickling your skin while he stepped inside before sliding it closed again. He just stood in front of you, unmoving. His eyes were on yours, irises blown out with bags under his eyes.

Your heart ached as you looked back at him. How could someone you love so much feel like a stranger?

You slowly reached your hand out to him, your fingers carefully grazing the skin of his chest. He sucked in a deep breath when you flattened your palm over the center of his chest. You reached for his heart, both physically and emotionally.

It felt like hours had passed before one of his hands reached for you. The tips of his fingers grazed your hip so softly that it almost tickled. His fingers splayed out over your wet skin before his grip tightened.

And then he was stepping forward, his other hand coming up to the back of your head as he pressed his body to yours.

You pressed your face into his chest, breathing him in as you wrapped your arms around his waist. You could feel his hair falling onto your forehead as the water rushed over you. His body was cold to the touch at first but quickly warmed into yours and the hot water. You weren’t even sure how long you stood like that, with your arms wrapped tightly around each other.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered into his neck after a while.

His palm soothingly ran up and down the center of your back. “I wish you would stop apologizing to me,” he murmured into your hair. “You didn’t do anything.”

“I shut you out,” you reasoned. “I know I did that.”

He was quiet, not disagreeing with you like he always had before. His hands still stroked over your skin as his temple rested against the top of your head.

“I’m sorry I did that to you.” Your lips grazed his collarbone as you spoke. “It’s not fair.”

He pulled you closer, exhaling deeply before he spoke. “You didn’t have to, you know. I wanna be there for you.”

“I know,” you whispered before pulling your head back to look at him.

He turned you so that his back was to the water, effectively blocking it from your face so that he could look at you. One of his hands came up to cup the side of your face, his thumb stroking over your cheek.

“I’m sorry,” you repeated again as your nose brushed his.

He sighed. “I know, baby.”

You looked up at him, taking in his wet lashes and the way his hair curled and clung to the sides of his face.

When you leaned in to brush your lips over his, he stayed completely still. You waited for him to pull away, but when he didn’t, you eased that half an inch closer so that you could kiss his bottom lip.

His hand flexed on the back of your neck and his breathing was the tiniest bit shaky when you leaned your forehead against his. But he pulled you in again, slotting his mouth over yours in a gentle kiss. His lips were soft and timid, his tongue barely teasing along your bottom lip.

You slowly slid your hand down his back and around his hip. When your fingers grazed his length, he tensed. You went completely still before you looked up to meet his eyes.

“Love,” he eased tenderly, petting his fingertips along your jaw.

Your heart sank at the thought of him rejecting you.

He shook his head slightly as he stammered. “We don’t-- You-- You don’t--”

“--I want to,” you interrupted. “I want to. I promise.”

You wrapped your fingers around his length and admired the way his lashes fluttered. He twitched in your hand, slowly beginning to fatten up. You brushed your nose along his before smoothing your mouth over his soft lips. You played with the wet hair at the base of his scalp and stroked him so slowly that heat balled in the bottom of your stomach.

“I want to,” you whispered against his parted lips. His breathing was shallow and his eyelids were struggling to stay open. “I’ve felt… awful. I wanna feel something else. With you.” He swallowed thickly at your words and the way your thumb teased over his tip. “Make me feel something else, Harry. Please.”

He looked at you for a solid five seconds before he was surging forward. Your back hit the cold tiles and you gasped into his mouth as he pressed himself against you.

He sucked a kiss from your bottom lip, and then your top lip, and then your bottom again. His tongue was strong when it fleetingly passed yours. He broke away with a low moan when you stroked him again, his mouth falling open as his forehead rested on yours. His hands found purchase on your waist, fingers digging into your skin as your hand moved over him.

You watched his face when he pulled his head back. His mouth hung open and his eyebrows were furrowed in pleasure. You pumped him slowly, savoring the look on his face.

“Shit,” he breathed up to the ceiling before quickly turning the water off.

His hands gripped your face, pulling you into his waiting mouth before he was stumbling out of the shower. He wrapped his arms around you so fast that he practically dragged you out of the shower, immediately walking you back in the direction of your bedroom. His mouth didn’t leave yours as you blindly walked through the doorway and into your bed, falling together across your sheets.

He was everywhere. His hands roamed across your prickling skin and his body pressed you down into the soaked mattress. His mouth was greedy as he pulled hot kisses from your lips. You raked your fingers through his wet hair and pulled him in as close as possible.

“I missed you,” you gasped as you pulled away from his mouth with your head tilted back.

He kissed your chin and down the column of your throat, sucking lightly on your collar bone as his hands traveled down your sides. “I missed you,” he repeated the sentiment with a sucking kiss just below your ear.

He slotted his legs between yours, pulling one up over his hip by the back of your knee to spread you open for him. Every inch of his torso was pressed to yours. His skin was almost unbearably warm and he was heavy on top of you, but you welcomed it so fully that tears burned behind your eyes.

You tugged on his hair when he kissed down your throat and across your chest. His tongue lapped over your nipple first before he sucked the pebbled bud into his hot mouth with a low moan. The vibration had your hips jerking towards him on their own accord. His length was heavy between your legs and the thought of feeling him like that again had your skin burning.

He kissed down the center of your torso, licking and sucking as he went. He paused when he got to the lowest part of your stomach, just below your belly button. You lifted your head to already find him peering up at you. Your fingers were still tangled in his hair, nails scratching lightly when your eyes connected.

His eyes fell closed as he placed the most delicate kiss to the skin of your belly. His lips grazed your skin, hot breath hovered over you before he leaned in and kissed the spot again.

“I love you,” he whispered up to you, his eyes steady on yours as he placed a kiss to your belly for a third time.

Your eyes pooled with tears, a small smile forming on your lips. You cupped his face, scratching your nails behind his ear as you murmured, “I love you too.”

He was gentle as he snaked his arms under your thighs until he could grip his fingers on your inner thighs to pull your legs apart more. Your eyes fluttered as you watched him lean in, his hot breath cascading over you and sending chills across your skin. He rubbed your thighs soothingly, his eyes on yours the whole time. Until he just barely licked his tongue out, trailing the tip over your pulsing clit.

Your mouth fell open at the contact, and his eyebrows furrowed deeply as he softly glided his tongue over you. You moaned when he licked into you fully, your head falling back to the mattress as he suctioned his lips to you and rolled his tongue over and over again. Heat spread from his mouth throughout your entire body. He took his time, flicking his eyes up to face every so often to watch the way your mouth opened silently before a moan would finally escape.

His hand covered yours in his hair, squeezing tightly over yours to prompt your fist to close. Thick strands stuck out between each of your fingers as you tugged on his roots, immediately earning a rough moan into your core.

“Fuck,” you breathed out with a broken moan, lifting your head once more.

His eyes were closed, eyebrows still furrowed in pleasure as he smoothed his tongue over your entrance before plunging into you. His moans mixed with yours before pulling his tongue back up to your clit, circling slowly but so deliberately that you vision became spotty for a moment.

His eyes were practically black when they flicked up to you, his mouth steady as he licked over your clit at a torturous rate. He blinked slowly as he eased his middle finger into you. He pulled off of you as his eyes fell down to watch the way his finger disappeared inside you, only two steady pumps until he was adding another.

You moan was thick and practically trapped in your throat as you head fell back to the bed. You could feel him looking up at you as he lowered his mouth to your clit once more. It took three slow licks and simultaneous pumps to having your orgasm rushing through you.

Your grip in his hair was so tight you would have convinced yourself he’d lose some of it, if you had any awareness of anything other than his mouth and fingers bringing you over the edge. Your hips spasmed with it and your breathing was ragged as you moaned out your release.

He kissed up your body so quickly, moaning deeply when he slanted his mouth over yours. His lips were sultry as your taste invaded your senses, his tongue forceful when he licked into your mouth. He was rapid with desire, it poured out of his soul directly into yours.

“God, I’m so hard for you,” he moaned against your mouth.

One of his hands cupped your neck as the other reached down to grip the outside of your thigh roughly.

“I wanna feel you,” you whispered with an exhaled breath.

“Feel,” he urged, pushing his hips into yours. “You make me so fucking hard… every time.” His length rested between your folds, heavy and rock solid, pressing deliciously against your clit. His mouth encased yours again, hot and heavy. He caught your bottom lip between his teeth, pulling away slightly before releasing it, just to go back in to suck again with his plush lips.

“I love you so much,” you murmured against his mouth.

He kissed you slowly, savoring your taste as he rolled his hips into yours. A spark of pleasure rolled up your spine as his length smoothed over your clit. He moaned low from the back of his throat as his hands framed your face. “I love you,” he whispered with another roll of his hips.

The pit of your stomach burned with arousal as he kissed you again. He kissed you for so long you felt like your head could float away from the rest of your body. But he kept you there with him with every pulse of his hips. Every roll had his length grazing your clit and sent sparks across your skin.

His mouth broke from yours with a low moan. “Want me like this?”

You hummed as you pushed back the bit of hair that had fallen across his forehead before you kissed him again. “Let me fuck you,” you whispered against his lips.

He groaned deeply as he rolled onto his back with his arms wrapped tightly around you, taking you with him. You didn’t lose any contact with him from the position changed, your entire body still flushed to his. You kissed his bottom lip before sitting up and sliding down his thighs the tiniest bit.

His cock slapped up to his stomach, his eyes intent on whatever you were doing.

“Touch yourself,” you instructed quietly.

His hand immediately took hold of his length, pumping slowly from base to tip. Your hand fell between your thighs, two fingers circling slowly as you watched him stroke himself. His eyes were heavy as they flicked back and forth between your hand and face.

“God, I want you so bad,” he growled low in his throat.

You leaned down to press a hot kiss to the side of his stomach, and then his hip. “Keep going,” you murmured, eyes flicking up to his face before your tongue just barely teased over his tip.

“Fuck,” he moaned as his head tipped back and his hips pulsed up. “Don’t make me wait,” he groaned deeply when you sat back up. “Come on, fuck me.”

You watched as he continued to stroke himself as he babbled. His hand twisted every so often and his tip leaked the tiniest bit of precum. His stomach was tense and the hand not stroking was clasped tightly just above your knee.

The hand on his cock fell away as soon as you started to crawl up his body. You smothered yourself over him, chests pressed together tightly. You pushed your fingers through his hair as he trailed his fingers down your spine. And then you kissed his puffy lips as you reached down to guide him into you.

Your mouths fell open together as you slowly sunk onto his thick length. You eased onto him, inch by inch. Your breathing was ragged as you took him, your core pulsing around him from the fullness. It had been long enough that you had to go slow. Not that you minded. You liked feeling every inch of him consume you.

His hands gripped your hips, and then your waist, and then your breasts, and then smoothed back down your sides to wrap around your hips and press into your lower back. Everywhere he touched felt like fire.

“So good for me,” he encouraged against your mouth, kissing softly when he could.

You pumped yourself on him slowly until your mound met his pelvis, holding still with him fully inside you. You swallowed a moan when you clenched around him while Harry panted softly at the feel. His hands slid back up your body once more until he could cup your face and pull your mouth to his.

“Go on,” he whispered his encouragement into your waiting mouth.

You rolled your hips slowly over his, moaning softly as he hit different angles. He cupped your face firmly between his palms as his mouth fell open with a groan. “That’s it,” he hummed.

“Shit,” you whispered.

“So good,” he sighed. “Feel so good on me.”

You found your pace -- a slow, deep roll of your hips that had you fully sitting on him with every thrust. You could feel the way his hips flexed towards yours with every drop, keen on giving you every inch he had.

You couldn’t get enough. You needed all of him. It felt like you couldn’t get close enough, deep enough, full enough. You gripped the back of his hand but quickly twisted to link your fingers together, and then did the same with the other. You pressed both your hands into the mattress above his head and he groaned at the way you pinned him down.

Your hips picked up a steady pump as you hovered your mouth over his and squeezed your fingers in his.

“Fuck, I love you,” he moaned, lifting his head to press his mouth to yours.

You moaned into the kiss before repeating I love you, I love you, I love you against his lips. Your sentiment was whispered with every thrust and had his eyes squeezing shut as he groaned. His fingers squeezed yours with every drop of your hips, satisfaction running through you because you were the cause of his pleasure. He got like that with you, because of you. It was overwhelming and made your chest feel tight with emotion.

It should always be like that.

“God, don’t stop,” he begged softly.

Your skin erupted in goosebumps. You were hot, yet chills ran down your spine. Heat swirled in your stomach in time with the swirl of your hips, a steady rocking that had your mouth hanging open in pleasure.

He whimpered to hold back a moan. “I wanna make you come again.”

You leaned in, pressing your nose to his chin to tilt his head back before sucking a spot on the side of his neck. “Make up your mind,” you whispered into his pulse.

His chuckle was deep and mixed with a small moan that only urged you to suck the spot again.

“I do. I wanna make you come.” He whined deep in his throat as you dropped your hips on his the tiniest bit harder. “Wanna feel you come,” his voice lowered. “I wanna,” his hips flexed up with his words, “be so deep that all I feel is you.”

You cupped his chin in your palm as you pressed your mouth to his. You dropped your hips on his again, holding him deep inside you as you kissed him.

“That deep?” You whispered against his mouth, not waiting for his response before you kissed him again.

His hands squeezed your waist before he arched his hips up the tiniest bit more, tasting the moan you exhaled.

He held you steady as he murmured, “Deeper.”

Your hands were in his hair, tugging harshly as you pulled kiss after kiss from his eager mouth. You moaned when you abruptly lifted your hips off his completely before falling over beside him.

He hummed as he rolled over to clamber on top of you, easing between your legs as he held himself up on his forearms. His nose brushed yours when he reached down, stroking himself twice before he was teasing his tip through your folds and easing back inside you.

His first few pumps were always slow, as if he was trying to savor that feeling of first entering you. But he found his rhythm quickly as he dropped his hips harshly into yours. Your hands stayed in his hair, tugging ruthlessly as he fucked you.

His moans were deep and present even when he kissed you. One of his hands squeezed your breast briefly before it smoothed down your body until he could grip the back of your thigh. He hiked it up his hip roughly, fingers digging so firmly that it nearly hurt.

You were desperately trying to keep your eyes open, to watch his face and see the way the pleasure overtook him. But every thrust was more lethal than the last and constantly had your lashes fluttering.

“Touch yourself.” He repeated your words back to you with a grunt.

And you couldn’t help but whimper when you reach down to tease your fingers over your clit.

“Oh my god,” you breathed as your forehead creased with pleasure.

“That’s it,” he pumped his hips harder. “Come on. I want it.”

It. Your impending orgasm that he was desperately trying to feel.

His slick forehead hit yours first before his mouth found your lips, sucking harshly on your bottom lip as his hips staggered.

“Make me come,” you breathed. His hips pumped harder immediately as he whined in the back of his throat. “Please,” you moaned weakly, “Please make me come.”

“Fuck,” he groaned as he dug his nails into your thigh.

“Right there,” you mumbled.

He yanked his head back to watch your face as he pistoned his hips into the same spot over and over again.

And then your mouth was falling open in a silent cry and your core was spasming as your orgasm exploded in your stomach and raked throughout your entire body.

“Yeah, that’s it.” Harry’s groans were so deep that you felt like they vibrated through your own chest.

His hips didn’t slow or falter, fucking you at the same rate for as long as he possibly could. Until his own orgasm pulsed through his body and rope after rope of his release coated you. He panted and moaned with every pump until his body finally gave out on him and he collapsed on top of you.

His back was wet -- from the shower or his sweat, you weren’t sure. But you scratched your nails up and down the length of him and rubbed your palms into his shoulder blades until your arms got tired.

He turned to roll off you, but quickly wrapped his arms around your waist to pull you into him. One of his hands reached up to smooth over your hair and across your cheek as he leaned in to kiss you.

“We should probably actually finish the shower now,” he murmured into your mouth.

You smiled against his lips, “Probably.”

Neither of you made any effort to untangle your legs or stop from stroking your fingers against each other's skin. His eyes were flicking across your face; your nose, your mouth, your eyes. The same pattern over and over again.

“Don’t…” he hesitated as he cupped your jaw in his palm. “Don’t leave me like that again, okay?”

Your heart sunk in your chest at his words and the quiet tone of his voice.

“I won’t,” you reassured.

“I need you,” his voice wavered slightly. “And I want you to need me too.”

“I do,” you pushed your hand into the back of his hair. “I do need you, Harry. So much.”

He blinked softly before pushing his forehead to yours. “I know you have your own way of dealing with shit. I just wanna be there for you.”

“I’m sorry I shut you out,” you whispered.

“It’s okay,” he pulled his head back and softly traced his fingers across your lips, “Stop apologizing.”

You pulled him until his mouth met yours, kissing him softly as he wound his arms around you, hoping you could keep your promise.

***

- Saturday, October 5, 2019 -

You were sat at your kitchen counter with your mug of coffee warming your palm as Harry scrambled eggs.

It was as domestic of a Saturday morning as you could get. You’d woken up with the sun as it slowly started to peak through your blinds. Harry pulled you closer as he tucked his face into your hair, breathing you in slowly as he started to come to.

He had been gentle with you throughout the week, but still held true to your conversation of being more open. And you were holding up your end of the bargain. The truth was, you weren’t sure how you were feeling. A big part of you still felt like there was a pit in your stomach and a gauge in your heart.

You stopped into the office during the week for the blood work you’d discussed with Dr. Sobel. It would probably take a few days for the results to be processed, so you and Harry were in the midst of a waiting game yet again.

The difference was that you were waiting together. You weren’t locking yourself away, or withdrawing yourself as much as humanly possible. If you were worrying about it, you expressed it. And Harry listened with an open heart, just like he always did.

You were finally starting to get to a better place in your marriage. For so long, you and Harry had been tip toeing around each other. Always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always being let down month after month. It was exhausting for you and it was exhausting for your marriage. So you really weren’t sure if you wanted to go through it again with the potential outcome you’d already endured.

Harry pulled you from your thoughts when he turned towards you to scoop some eggs from the pan onto your plate.

“You okay?”

“I’m worrying,” you replied sheepishly. “I feel like I keep saying the same thing over and over again.”

“You’re trying to process everything. It’s a lot,” he shrugged.

“I just wanna know. I think it would push me to decide what I want.”

“Well I don’t want you to be pushed. I want you to take as much time as you need,” Harry shook his head, his brow furrowed deeply.

You nodded before going quiet as he put the pan in the sink and came around the counter to sit next to you.

“Would you be heartbroken if I didn’t want to try again?” Your voice was timid as you looked down at your plate.

“No,” he answered quickly. “There are other ways to have a family.”

You nodded again, pushing your food around your plate.

He sighed as he turned his body towards you so he could wrap one of his arms around the back of your chair. “Hey,” he ran the backs of his fingers along your arm. “I can’t decide it for you, baby. You gotta… want to put your body through it again. I don’t want you to do it for me.”

“I know,” you whispered.

You reached up to cup his jaw, softly stroking your thumb across his skin. He leaned in to press a sweet kiss to your lips before turning back to his plate.

You knew he was right. As much as you wanted someone to tell you what to do, just so that you could stop thinking and worrying about it, you had to get to that decision on your own.

You ate the rest of your breakfast, your conversation relaxing quickly into your normal banter. It was nice when you could have some moments when your mind wasn’t torturing you.

The rest of your morning was low key, cleaning up around the house while Harry got your grocery list together before he tackled the mess that was your pantry.

By mid afternoon you were laying on the couch, your head in Harry’s lap as you both read your respective books. You felt more relaxed then you had in a long time. And even when you let yourself think about the future, you didn’t feel like hives could cover your entire body at any given moment.

The low chime of your phone ringing came from where it was sitting on the coffee table. You sat up from Harry’s lap, laying your book open to hold your place before grabbing it.

Doctor Sobel

You gave Harry an apprehensive look once he read the contact, answering just before it went to voicemail.

“Hello?”

“Hello Mrs. Styles. It’s Doctor Sobel. Are you busy?”

“Um, no. No, not at all.”

“Great. Your test results just came across my desk so I figured I’d reach out.”

You mouthed test results to Harry before putting Dr. Sobel on speaker.

“Okay, great.”

“So unfortunately, you do have the blood disorder. We tested for seven different antibodies and every one came back positive.”

You let out a deep breath as you glanced at Harry, his brows furrowed in concern.

“Okay so what does that mean?”

“Well, you’re going to want to see a hematologist regardless of the route you take with infertility. I can recommend a few for you.”

“Okay. Yes, thank you.”

“And with regards to your infertility, I’m fairly certain this caused you to miscarry.”

You sucked in a breath as you frowned. “Fairly certain?”

“Unfortunately, there’s no definite way to know. But your results tell me that it’s very likely.”

You nodded as an overwhelming cloud of doubt came over your mind.

After a few beats Dr. Sobel went on. “I’m going to have Steph email you the hematologists I recommend. Take the earliest appointment that’s available.”

“How worried should I be?” You spoke anxiously.

“I don’t want you to worry. This can be managed very easily. But you do need to see someone and stay on top of it, especially as you get older.”

“Okay, I’ll get the next appointment,” you agreed as your heart beat wildly in your ears.

“Good. And take your time deciding if you want to move forward with another IUI. I understand it’s a big decision. We will be here if or when you are ready.”

“Okay. Thank you for letting me know.”

You said your goodbyes and hung up with shaky hands, immediately being pulled into Harry’s arms as you quietly cried.

***

I know, I told you it was a lot! Regardless, as always, I would love to hear your thoughts so please come talk to me. Thank you for reading! xxx

- PART FOUR -

#harry styles smut #harry styles writing #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x you #harry styles x reader #ayhom

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the-hidden-writer · 3 years

Text

I’ll Remember You This Way

Chapter 3: 2,689 Read on AO3! (check reblog for link)

The story of one unsuspecting man named Edwin Jarvis and how his life and legacy are carried throughout the universe.

Edwin Jarvis -> JARVIS -> Vision

Snippets of that legacy include Tony Stark carrying his butler’s words in his heart for his entire life and Wanda Maximoff sensing an unfamiliar presence in Vision’s mind.

Chapter 3: it’s a beautiful new day

Edwin hates hospital waiting rooms.

He has a huge respect for the hospitals themselves, of course. It’s the actual experience of sitting in the waiting room that sends a chill down his spine.

It’s not the first time he’s been in this position; stuck in a chair with worry crushing him. Although Mr Stark prefers to call his private doctor when he falls ill, and Edwin also occasionally uses his services, Ana much prefers to physically visit the doctor. She says that it makes her feel like they’re an ordinary couple in the life they don’t have. And Edwin respects her decision.

What he doesn’t tell her is that each time he is asked to wait outside, he is transported back to that horrifying night in 1947. His whole body is shaking. The world around him is all too loud but also alarmingly quiet. His mind is completely overwhelmed with fear and anxiety. Ana is in surgery with a terrible wound, possibly on the brink of death, and he is just sitting outside in the hospital waiting room, utterly helpless. The only thing on his mind is that it’s all his fault.

Then Miss Carter is by his side, offering much-needed wordless support.

But this early morning, he is desperately trying to convince himself that Ana is perfectly fine. She has simply gone inside the room to offer support to Mrs Stark. He can hear her unusually loud voice trying to overpower Maria’s agonised screams as she calls out for Howard, despite him being on the other side of the world.

It pains him to think that this is typical of him.

“Mr Jarvis!”

The familiar click of heels alerts him to Ms Carter’s arrival. She, like all of them, looks appropriately dishevelled as she rushes towards him. “How is she? How’s it going?”

Extremely grateful to her for pulling him out of his dark thoughts in a waiting room for a second time, Edwin gestures for her to take the seat beside him. There is a sense of déjà vu.

He takes a moment to listen out for Maria’s screams, which seem to have subsided.

“I believe it’s going well.” He responds. “Ana’s inside with her now, and this is the first time it’s been quiet since we arrived. I can only think of two options as to what that could mean.”

Ms Carter lets out a strained chuckle. “Since when have you been such a pessimist, Mr Jarvis?”

Since Ana was shot and lost the ability to bear children.

She seems to read his mind and her face falls quite suddenly. She is wise to not address this though, and she decides to change the subject instead.

“Have they thought of any names yet?”

Another welcome distraction. “Maria’s quite insistent on either Antonio or Isabella, depending on the gender. They got into an argument when Mr Stark wanted the name to be American.”

“Where is Howard, anyway?”

Edwin isn’t quite sure why his chest tightens. It almost feels like anger or hatred, but not quite. More like… disappointment. “He’s currently in Amsterdam trying to settle a trade deal.”

The expression on Peggy’s face perfectly reflects his own thoughts on the matter. She scoffs. “Oh, typical Howard.”

There is a strange kindred spirit shared between himself and Ms Carter, which is odd considering that their personalities could not be more different. She is everything he isn’t; strong-willed, professional, courageous, and incredibly intelligent. She could stop a global threat in the time that it takes him to plan a dinner party. She would much rather spend an evening engaging herself decoding classified secrets whereas he would watch some television with his wife.

And yet, despite their obvious differences, they completely understood one another. Peggy often needs a break from S.H.I.E.L.D. and her busy lifestyle, which is why the Jarvis household is open to her at all times should she need it. It’s also why she comes for dinner each Sunday evening without fail. And if he is ever feeling under the weather or is having any manner of internal struggle, she picks up on it just as quickly as Ana does and checks in on him an embarrassingly large number of times until she’s convinced that he’s feeling better. Ana once described the pair as two sides of the same coin.

Edwin feels blessed to have possibly the two best women in the entire world in his life.

He is suddenly pulled out of his thoughts by Ana rushing out of Maria’s room.

Both he and Ms Carter immediately stand up. “Is she alright?” They ask simultaneously.

Ana’s hair has come loose and her eyes betray her weariness, but they are also filled with joy. “She’s fine.” She announces with a wide smile. “It’s a beautiful baby boy.”

Peggy exhales loudly with relief, and she begins to mirror Ana’s smile. “Oh, that’s wonderful! May we go inside?”

Ana falters for a brief moment. “Ah, I will have to ask Mrs Stark. I did not know you were coming, so I will ask her.” She turns to her husband. “She is asking for you, Edwin, so you can come.”

There is silence until Peggy turns to him. “Mr Jarvis?”

Edwin is frozen. It feels as if the world has stopped spinning. Mrs Stark has just had a son. A boy. A son. A child. And she is fine, and he is fine, and she’s just had a son. A brand new life.

Ana grabs his arm and starts to pull him towards the door, and only then does he snap back to reality and feels himself breathe again. As they wait for the pack of nurses to finish leaving the room, Edwin bends down to whisper into his wife’s ear the one word that has suddenly branded itself into his mind.

“Anthony.”

When they are finally let into the room, his whole body melts. All the exhaustion, anger, and sadness from last night is washed away at the sight of the little bundle in Maria’s arms. Ana senses his awe and entwines her hand with his as she leads him closer to the bed.

“How are you feeling?” He breathes.

Maria is almost unrecognisable in this state. Her hair is the messiest he’s ever seen, and she is drenched in sweat. In any other circumstance she would be furious and desperately attempt to fix herself up. But right now, she has the warmest smile on her face.

“Tired, Mr Jarvis.” She answers, her voice slurred with exhaustion and her Italian accent shining through.

She looks down at the baby in her arms, and his own eyes follow. There is a tiny mop of dark hair visible over the blanket, but he can’t see much else very clearly.

Maria seems to notice his gaze. “Do you want to hold him?”

Yes, he does want to hold him. He wants to hold him and cradle him in his arms and talk to him and cuddle him and raise him.

But he can’t seem to get the words out. Ana answers for him. “Yes, he does.”

The second that Maria hands him the child, Edwin feels warmth rush into his body. The child is awake but not crying, and he knows he will do everything in his power to keep it that way. Distantly, he hears Ana ask Maria if Ms Carter can enter, before she also instructs her to sleep. He is too busy gently rocking the child to hear the precise words spoken.

“Hello there,” he whispers, a tear rolling down his cheek, “welcome to the world, little one. You are going to grow up and be strong, smart, kind, beautiful…”

His list goes on, and he is unaware of how sadly both Ana and Peggy are looking at him.

~-.-~

Mr Stark leaps out of the car before Edwin finishes parking.

He can’t blame him. He is about to meet his son for the first time, albeit a day late, so of course he’d be in a hurry.

Edwin locks the car and rushes to follow Howard.

On the journey from the airport, Mr Stark had done nothing but chatter about this that and the other. Anecdotes from his trip, celebrity scandals, new groundbreaking ideas. He managed to talk about every topic apart from his wife and son.

An outsider may think that he was being heartless, but Edwin knows Howard well enough to know that the genius was beyond nervous and his family was actually the only thing on his mind.

Once he nears Maria’s room, he can hear the sound of raised voices coming from inside. His heart sinks. He had been positive that Mr Stark would be happy upon seeing his son but, although he cannot hear the exact words being said, it sounds like something has upset him.

Bracing himself for the worst, he lightly knocks before entering.

“I promise you Howard, that’s what I said- Edwin!”

“Edwin!”

Edwin is not at all frightened by the way both Howard and Maria’s heads instantly snap towards him as they call him by his first name. Not in the slightest. It is perfectly reasonable for them to do so and is not unusual at all.

He recovers from this initial shock to note that little baby Anthony is in his father’s arms. This immediately fills him with relief as whatever the couple were arguing about didn’t seem to involve the newborn.

With that option eliminated, his curiosity begins to grow. “Is everything alright?” He asks.

Maria sinks further into her pillow and Howard hangs his head, bringing Anthony closer to his chest. It is a concerning visual, even more concerning when Mrs Stark looks back to her husband, ignoring his question entirely.

“And you’re sure it’s too late?”

Wearily raising his head, Howard answers. “I did most of the paperwork over there. The announcement’s been made- it’s too late.”

“Too late for what?” Edwin inquires, dread pooling into his stomach. He sincerely hopes that whatever the situation is isn’t too bad.

The pair turn to acknowledge him for the first time since their initial outburst. Both of their faces seem… guilty?

Howard shuffles towards him, being very mindful of the baby in his arms. “So you know Anthony’s name, right?”

Edwin nods nervously.

“Well, there’s been a mix up.” Howard continues, his face sheepish.

“An accident.” Maria interjects. “I was exhausted, my accent was thicker than normal, and they misheard me.”

This only makes Edwin all the more worried.

Without warning, Anthony begins to wail, and Edwin instinctively holds his arms out for Mr Stark to pass the child to him. He starts to cradle him to shush him.

Howard rubs a hand over his face and takes a deep breath. “Anthony Edward Stark was supposed to be Anthony Edwin Stark.”

And if human nature hadn’t prevented him from doing so, Edwin would have dropped the baby.

He must have heard incorrectly. “P-Pardon?”

It is Maria who answers him, her expression apologetic. “We discussed this a while ago. Because we know that you and your wife can’t… have children,” Edwin bites his lip to try and prevent the tears from forming in his eyes, “and you both have been nothing but kind to us, we wanted to name our child after you. His middle name was supposed to be Edwin if he was a boy, and Ana if he was a girl.”

“But I fucked that up, too.” Mr Stark adds, but Maria just tuts at him.

“Language, Howard. We have a son now. The nurse misheard, and there is nothing we can do about it now.”

“‘Course, sorry.” Howard apologises. Then he lets out a small, pathetic laugh and a wide smile begins to grow on his face. He takes Anthony from Edwin’s arms and stares at him with an amount of adoration that is uncharacteristic for the great Howard Stark.

The same Howard Stark whose bottom lip began to tremble. Whose eyes begin to shimmer with tears. Who struggles to keep his voice even as he leans down to plant a tender kiss on his son’s forehead.

“You...” he whispers, “are hands down the best thing I have ever created, little man. You’re beautiful. God, I love you.” He turns to Edwin again, pride radiating off his face as he holds the child in front of him. “Look at my son, Jarvis! Look at him! I have a son!”

Edwin, who has been trembling all this time, matches the adoration on his employer’s face as he nods in response to the command. His mind, however, is elsewhere.

They were going to name him Edwin. The Edward mishap does not bother him in the slightest as it is the thought that counts but… they were going to name their son Edwin.

And standing there, even in front of Anthony Edward Stark’s parents, Edwin feels like a father.

~-.-~

“Shush now Anthony, your Mama will be here soon once she’s finished her very important meeting, alright? Please, shush now.”

Anthony has been wailing for the past ten minutes. And, for the past nine minutes, Edwin has been trying to calm him down. The only problem is that the only thing that will currently soothe him is Edwin’s own tie, which he very much needs and is not willing to part with. Ana made him that one.

“Awamaaaaa! Mamaaaaa!”

The ten-month old pulls himself up so that he is just-about standing in his crib with one chubby arm sticking out, trying to reach him. He has just learnt to stand, and although it makes him happy each time he accomplishes it, the fact that he has started to stand in defiance is the bane of Edwin’s existence.

With a weary sigh, he turns back from where he was about to leave and slowly crouches down so that his eyes level with Anthony’s.

“Anthony darling, your Mama will be here soon.”

“Awamamaa!”

‘Mama’ is Anthony’s first and only word, one that he’s learnt only recently. One of the maids had first heard the little boy chanting it, and had hurried to get Edwin. Edwin then commanded her to go and fetch Maria and Howard. Maria had come rushing in, but Howard had claimed to be busy.

His heart shattering at the sound of the boy’s cries, Edwin tries again. “I promise Mama’s coming.”

Anthony’s screams take on a sudden increase in volume that causes Edwin to wince.

“Waaaaaaaaah! Awamamaja! Awajaja!”

Now Edwin is by no means a young man anymore, and he convinces himself that whatever he thought he just heard was simply a trick of his imagination. Nothing more. He definitely did not just try and call out his-

“Jaja! Jaja!”

Paired with the wide brown eyes staring up at him and the arm outstretched trying to grab his tie, this time the child’s intent was unmistakable.

In his shock, Edwin says the only thing he can think of. “S-Say that again?”

“Jaja!”

“Are you trying to say… ‘Jarvis’?”

“Jaja!”

“Oh my goodness!”

Although the ‘J’ syllable wasn’t quite as clipped as it should be (sounding more like a ‘sh’) it was recognisable enough. And to say Edwin feels emotional at the fact that Anthony said his name would be an understatement.

In this time Anthony had stopped crying and instead is looking at him expectantly, as if he knew exactly what effect his words would have on him and is waiting for his reward. Edwin takes off his tie and hands it to the boy without a second thought.

He has to tell Ana. There is no time to lose. He has to bring Ana and try and get Anthony to say it again as proof that his second 'word' was a variation of 'Jarvis'.

(He feels like he shouldn’t tell Maria, and especially not Howard. ‘Dada’ is supposed to come after ‘Mama’, not the name of the family butler. This moment would be his and Ana’s private treasure- something he would confide in Anthony when the boy grew up.)

(If the boy still liked him by that time, of course.)

(Edwin hopes he will.)

#marvel #mcu #agent carter #the avengers #edwin jarvis #peggy carter #tony stark #ana jarvis #howard stark #maria stark #i'll remember you this way #fic

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mollymauk-teafleak · 4 years

Text

my dear little bird

The first time Seregil finds himself alone with his baby daughter, he finds himself confronting a lot of old hurts.

Please consider reblogging this or commenting on Ao3! Also feel free to ask me about this AU!

------------

Seregil couldn’t remember the last time it had been quiet.

It had been days that hadn’t really felt like days at all, just fragmented hours of wailing and crying and snatches of sleep that they seized when they could, whether the moon was in the sky or not. It had all felt frantic, like he and Alec had just been carried along in a river about to burst its banks, just having to hope that they wouldn’t look back and find they were miles away from where they were supposed to be. It felt like they’d been running ever since the day when little Adzriel had come into their lives, running full pelt with the wind rushing through their ears and their feel barely touching the ground, a split second away from falling.

But suddenly, without warning, everything around Seregil was still and quiet. He’d found himself in the eye of the storm their lives had become.

It was quiet but not silent, of course. Bôkthersa was never silent, it hadn’t been as long as Seregil had known it. The birds were still calling, far off in the trees and a heavy summer rain was falling, playing music on the roof of his family’s house, just like he remembered. There were muted voices in the other rooms, some he knew and others he didn’t, but they all had the same accent, the cadence of home. The same floorboards creaked underfoot, the same sounds could be heard from the kitchen far below, there was the same scratching of the haba on the roof and the walls as they sought nooks to hide from the rain that came every summer.

Everything was the same. And yet he was so different.

Being here in Bôkthersa was never going to be easy, knowing everything he’d lost, feeling that neatly cut away part of his heritage that had been taken with a few words from the Ia'sidra. But they’d been here for a good few months now and it wasn’t as if his sisters and his family treated him any differently, they’d been delighted to see him and Alec and folded them into their lives gladly. In fact, it sometimes felt as though that day had never happened, or even either of the days that had severed his connection to this place, the first one ragged and painful, the second one neat and numbed.

Besides Seregil had rather more pressing matters to hold his attention.

They’d taken over his old childhood bedroom, it wouldn’t have felt quite right anywhere else. Even if it did look very different with the bed pushed right back against the wall to make room for the fine oak crib that took up much of the room. Though the general chaos and mess of three days with a newborn didn’t actually look that far out of place. A much younger Seregil had kept it in a similar state of disarray.

Now, he sat in a chair by the window, feeling what little sun had managed to break through the curtain of rain warm his skin. There was no crying, no screaming, no tense, exhausted words exchanged between him and his husband. There was just the rain.

He’d left Alec where he’d fallen, asleep on a couch downstairs, loathe to disturb him by insisting he get into bed. He’d just covered him with a blanket, kissed his tangled, unbrushed hair and bid Mydri to call for him when he woke up. His talímenios had been looking so worn out and exhausted lately, he wanted him to get all the sleep he could in the little time before their daughter needed him again. Between the mania of the days since her arrival and the months beforehand, Seregil couldn’t actually remember the last time he’d seen that face he loved so much without dark shadows under the eyes.

Of course, if he told Alec that, he’d furrow his brow in that adorable way he always did and mumble something about feeling the exact same way about Seregil. But there still felt like there was this unpaid debt between them, this sensation that Alec had given so much of himself in the last few months and Seregil would never, ever be able to thank him properly. Though he was trying, in what small ways he could, with gentle words and kisses when Alec least expected it, subtle acts of worship to this miracle worker who now stood where the naive, wide eyed Dalnan boy he’d fallen for once did.

And so here he was, letting Alec sleep while it slowly dawned on him that this was the first time he’d been alone with their baby since she was born.

The first emotion that accompanied that was fear, quickly followed by a flood of guilt. He looked over at her from his chair, the bundle of blankets made by her adoring aunties that gently rose and fell with her breathing, the tufts of dark hair that were just visible. What right did he have to be scared of such a little thing, one who depended on him so much?

But it was so hard, he thought, as he miserably sunk down in his chair, noting with a disgusted curl of his lip that he hadn’t changed his clothes in some time. When he thought of the word father it was impossible to think of anyone but Korit, it was his face that he saw. His hard, sharp lined face with his cold eyes and disappointment set into his jaw, nothing Seregil could do to shift it. He heard his voice, the one that still made his shoulders tense when he heard it, like he was about to be admonished. He felt such a deep and unpleasant mix of emotions when he heard that word, whenever any Bôkthersan congratulated him or when he looked at himself in the mirror and tried to whisper it, that he couldn’t help but feel a stab of fear when he saw Adzriel.

The baby rather than his sister. That was going to get confusing. Though his sister’s face when he’d told her what they’d decided to call her new niece had been more than worth it.

But he and Alec had a lot of long, eventually very tearful talks late at night when Seregil couldn’t sleep. He’d opened up to his talímenios more than he ever thought he’d be able to with another person, revealing parts of himself that had been wounded so long ago and still hadn’t really scabbed over. It had been painful, incredibly so, but he’d felt cleaner afterwards, with his tear streaked cheeks and aching chest.

And he’d realised he’d wanted this so much. He’d wanted her, he’d wanted Adzriel.

And now he had her, he refused to let that fear win, he refused to let Korit and the mistakes they’d both made poison this too.

Almost as if she sensed his discomfort, the tiny form of his daughter began to shift and a low, sleepy grizzle started up. Seregil started, the fear managing to win over for a second and pull his thoughts downstairs to where his husband was but he shook himself angrily. Alec needed to sleep, he was going to run himself into the ground the way he was going on, trying to do everything, adjusting to their new life while trying to protect Seregil from his anxieties at the same time. This wasn’t going to work if it wasn’t an equal partnership.

And he did want this to work, so badly, and not just for Alec’s sake.

Seregil rose from his chair and crossed the room to the crib, leaning over the side. Sometimes all she’d need would be a few soft words from Alec and she’d sink back into sleep, just a little settling. But her tiny face was flushed and scrunched up, looking so indignant it was comical, looking so much like him that it was comical. She was clearly gearing up for a sob, her little chest heaving under the blankets and gathering speed.

“Oh no, no, no, don’t do that!” Seregil begged softly, wincing, “Your papa’s sleeping and you’re going to wake him up…”

Little Adzri looked up at him, like that was precisely her intention.

“Come now, you just ate, you can’t be hungry,” Sergeil murmured, reaching a hesitant finger into the crib and stroking one cheek. She was so soft...

Adzri grumbled, though she lent into his touch like she was seeking it out. Seregil steeled himself and reached into the crib, lifting her out, “Here. I can comfort you just as well, can’t I?” He wasn’t sure which of them he was trying to convince.

She was much heavier than he expected, even after he’d held her a good few times now. The was a good, comforting weight to her, especially when she settled against his shoulder and began to nuzzle at him. He supported her head, just like Alec had shown him, made his movements more lilting and rhythmic to rock her. Almost immediately, her keening stopped and she began to gnaw at his shoulder, soaking his shirt.

“Hey!” Seregil chuckled, “You rascal…”

He returned to his chair, setting his bare feet on the windowsill so he could lie Adzri against his legs. She was beautiful, even with his fears he’d thought that since the very first time he’d seen her. She’d been born with a full head of wispy dark curls and bright blue eyes like the water in a stream when you broke it’s winter crust of ice. Two parts of both her fathers but arranged in a way that was entirely her own. Every part of her was a marvel.

“You’re nothing to be scared of, are you?” Seregil sighed, cradling her head and running his thumb across her cheek.

Adzri burbled, blinking at him curiously. She seemed attentive to his voice, following it like a light. Like she got comfort from it, as well as his touch.

Seregil felt his throat close but he found a thin, croaky version of his voice, “I’m sorry, Adzriel. If I’ve seemed...cold or distant, I’m just...I’m scared. And I know that sounds ridiculous but I’m just so scared that I couldn’t be what you needed. That I’d fail, the way I always failed before. And being a good father to you matters so much to me that if I...if I failed at it, it would break my heart.”

He shifted to cradle her closer, needing to feel her little heartbeat against his, how she curled in against him and sought his warmth.

“But that’s no reason not to try. And I am going to try, Adzriel, I promise you. I will try so, so hard for you because...because I’m your father. And I love you.”

His daughter mumbled contentedly against him, making her soft little noises that reminded him of a baby bird or the kittens Ruthea would have. He held her as tight as he could without coming anywhere close to hurting her, turning his head to press a gentle kiss to the crown of her head.

Seregil didn’t know many lullabies, losing his own mother before he’d taken his first breath. By the time the sister he’d named his daughter for was old enough to be more his mother than anything else, he’d outgrown the need for them. But he knew some and one came to him now, though his voice was cracked with emotions too deep to name.

“Oh hush thee my dove, oh hush thee my sweet love

Oh hush thee my lap wing, my dear little bird.

Oh, fold your wings and seek your nest now

The berries shine on the old rowan tree

The bird is home from the hills and valleys…”

By the time he was done, Azdri was soundly asleep again, her face relaxed and peaceful. He could have put her back in her crib but he didn’t, enjoying the quiet and the warmth of the sun on them both, the gentle rhythm of the rain.

The stillness allowed him to hear the whisper of stockinged feet across the floorboards so there was no surprise when Alec appeared in the doorway, the blanket Seregil had draped over him now hanging off his shoulders like an oversized cloak. His hair was more mussed than ever, the side he’d been laying on matted while the other side was a bird’s nest. His eyes were still ringed in shadow, he still looked exhausted but he was smiling.

Sergel didn’t think he’d ever looked more beautiful.

“Hello…” he whispered, so he wouldn’t wake their daughter, “I’m sorry, I tried to let you sleep…”

“I’m glad I didn’t,” Alec shook his head, padding over. He bent over the back of the chair, finding Seregil’s lips ready to meet his own.

“I love you,” Alec whispered, resting his forehead on his talímenios’, “And I’m so proud of you.”

“I love you too, talí,” Seregil croaked, aware that tears were trickling down the side of his face. Whether they were his or Alec’s, he couldn’t say. It didn’t matter.

And outside, the rain continued its sweet and steady song. Outside the haba tucked themselves in amongst the trees, the birds twittered and nestled into their knot holes.

The quiet wouldn’t last, of course it wouldn’t. But now they would always be able to find it within themselves, at the heart of their little family.

#nightrunners #lynn flewelling #alec i amasa #seregil i korit #the nightrunner series #nr #nightrunner #alec x seregil #seregil x alec #fluff #implied child abuse #healing #please reblog and comment!

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madllamamomma · 4 years

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Journey Back to the South Part 3~ SWF. FLUFF and LORE

[Stay calm, there is more smut, I did say this was gonna be long... OwO. But this has a lot of lore and sweet soft moments. On the scale of softness, from concrete<--to-->teddy bear, I am freakin’ mash potatoes....so soft....but hearty, and hopefully filling.... Enjoy!]

Journey Back to the South Part3~

Muriel and you enter into the large tent, surprisingly inside was a warm fire. The very top hand a hole about three or four feet open to let the smoke escape. The tent even had dividers within it, creating little make-shift rooms. It appeared that Una, Gilbert and their smaller children stayed all in this tent, the older children must have had their own. Despite having a hole in the top of the tent, it was very warm and comfortable, slightly cramped. Muriel seemed to feel right at home. It did feel like the hut in a way.

Una and Shona stand at the front and usher you both next to the fire where blankets are all spread around where Gilbert is sitting on the ground, adding another log. Inanna comes barreling in, and quickly makes her way next to warm embers next to Gilbert. Una speaks to Shona in Rune quietly, she sharply nods, handing Una her baby, and quickly marches out of the tent. “So I must ask you, Muriel. Where have you been all this time?” She asks sitting between him and Gilbert (you sit on his opposite side).

“Vesuvia…. It’s northern.”

Gilbert barks a short jolly laugh, “That’s not just northern, that is the north!”

You giggle a little. “Well Parka is the furthest, it past the sea. And technically there are cities past that. It’s just little known territory.”

“Our friends went adventuring around that area last year.” Muriel adds.

“Vesuvia… that pretty big city if I'm not mistaken. I don’t think that your parents thought that merchant would take you that far.” Gilbert folded his arms thinking hard.

“Good thing they did.” Una says almost sadly. “There was nothing but devastation here for years.” Una then smiles sweetly looking at you attempting to uplift the conversation. “Is that where the two of you met?” You nod with a happy smile, she stares at you a bit, looking at your features. “Hmmm. You don’t completely look like a Northerner. Where were your parents from, Rhemi?”

You shrug a little looking down to your thumbs. “I, ah. I’m not sure about my family. I am missing a lot of my memories.” Glancing back up Una and Gilbert look at you very sad all of a sudden. You shudder for a moment, shaking your hands, you didn’t mean to make them feel bad. “Ha! B-b-but it’s-it’s fine!! It sounds way worse that it really is! Really!! Muriel and I both have great friends back home. Besides…” Grabbing hold of Muriel’s hand and interlacing your fingers, you look up at him sweetly. “...All that matters is the future.” He looks back at you with a small sheepish grin, a bit of blush colored on his cheeks. “..We can only go forwards, not backwards.”

Una and Gilbert look a bit more relieved. “That’s a good way to think about it. You’re right. One cannot dwell on the past.”

Una holds her newborn wrapped tightly in a little fur swaddle, they coo adorably in her arms, eyes wide open. Muriel can’t help but look at the baby with a sweet smile, almost gazing with a bit of longing. Una catches a glimpse of him and gives him a knowing grin. “....Would you like to hold them, Muriel?”

“—Hmm?! Wha-?!” Muriel suddenly becomes flushed and has a wary look on his face. “Oh! N-n-no!.... I-I might…. break...them or—“

“Nonsense!!” She says while simultaneously handing him the small bundle. “..Just support his neck.”

“—W-wait! Wait! I-I-I don’t know how to—” Muriel founders in protest, but takes the bundle very carefully, afraid to let go. The baby stretches then snuggles right up to his warm chest popping his tiny fingers in his mouth, eyes loosely closed. Muriel stops breathing, his entire body stiffens, terrified to move even an inch. But his face and eyes softens as he watches them curl up in his large strong arm, looking like his heart just completly melted.

“See? You’re fine, my boy!” She says while standing to her feet again and start to bustle in the small makeshift kitchen area next to the room dividers.

You giggle at Muriel’s reactions and lean into him quietly, tenderly placing your hand on his forearm. “You can breath, Muri.”

Muriel takes a deep breathe then starts to very slightly relax his shoulders, but keeps his arms very tense, cradling the babe tightly. “It’s... so...tiny.” He says very softly trying not to disturb him, attempting to hide a joyful grin.

“It’s a baby, silly. Of course they’re tiny.” You can’t help but feel like your heart is melting as you watch him hold the baby so gently. In a way, you find this incredibly attractive.

He blushes and sneers at himself, “I don’t think I was ever tiny….”

“Oh! Yes, you were!!” Gilbert gives out a booming hearty laugh and it fills the large tent. “I’m-I’m sorry, little cub. But your— your face! Your father looked that same exact way when he held you for the first time.” Muriel finally lets himself smile back at him a little, he seems to like to hear about his parents.

Una laughs through her nose while fetching a few wooden cups from a wooden chest. “You were so small when you were born, but you were always strong. Everyday, you grew and grew and grew!!” Muriel looks away for a moment, he looks almost ashamed. For so long, that always bothered him, growing larger and taller everyday when he was younger. Having to eat more because of it. He believed for so long that was the reason why his parents sent him away. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Hearing about how much they care for him is difficult, and yet, it’s good to know. You know him so well, you can read his emotions running through him right now.

The baby starts to cry a little and fidgets in Muriel’s arms snapping him out of his thoughts. He stiffens again, beaming at you, looking like a desperate plea for help. You giggle, lean over to look at Una for permission. “May I?”

She nods with a pleasant smile and you open your arms and he very delicately hands the baby off to you. “G-got him?”

“I got him.” You continue to smile sweetly at Muriel then to the baby as he coos and stretches. You relax your arms, but hold him at an angle, rocking him a bit. “I got you little one~” You whisper to the little sweet bundle as he stares at you with a small sleepy smile.

A little smile doesn’t leave Muriel's lips, he wouldn’t admit it, but he enjoyed every minute of it despite feeling afraid of somehow hurting him.

Gibert jollily places his hand firmly on Muriel’s shoulder. His long arms are able to stretch all the way over to him. Strangely, Muriel doesn't flush or pull away, he looks almost comfortable. Gilbert looks at him with such kindness and warmth as he smiles ear to ear. “Ahhhh….if your father could see you now, Muriel… you are the spitting image of him—Except just a wee bit shorter if I’m not mistaken.”

“How did you know him again?” You ask as you let the baby hold your pointer finger, Muriel can’t help but continue to smile watching you hold the baby, seeing a kind of sparkle in his eyes.

“Well, my father was his mother’s brother. Artturi and I were born only a few months apart, so we grew up together. He was like my sibling. We even called each other mo bhrathair—my brother. Your father was an only child, and I was the only boy out of seven girls in my family.” His smile falls a little. “I… I wish you got to know him, little cub. Artturi was a great man...he was my best friend.”

Muriel takes a deep breath again, mustering up the courage. “....What… what were they like?...My… my parents.” He finally asks.

The corners of Gilbert's lips curl up at him again and he looks to the fire deep in thought. “Your father was outgoing, strong, but surprisingly very gentle, liked to work with his hands…. good with animals. I swear he could even understand them. He was loyal and brave, with a great sense of humor—could always make you laugh.” He pauses and sighs almost sadly, but keeps a big smile. “He… he would do anything for you. Even put his own life before yours…”

Una walks over handing her husband a cup of warm milk, then places a small bowl for Inanna, she sits herself up and starts to lap at it happily. Una looks at the corner of the tent, grinning fondly and shakes her head a little. “Muriel, you may look like Artturi, but your demeanor is that of Glenna’s. She was also shy, quiet, kept to herself, but once you got to know her, she was patient, kind, thoughtful, very good natured, smart, but she was also very tough and very feisty. She was rather blunt. Glenna studied herbs and flowers, things like that. She was fascinated by them, we even called her the plant shaman. She and her mother made remedies from them. Glenna even taught me how to use magic to help things grow.”

Muriel leans a bit onto you. There is no telling how hard, yet wonderful it is to be told about them. Your glances meet and he gives you a small soft grin, but behind it is a bit of pain. But he still wants to know more. He swallows hard and closes his eyes for a moment. “I….I have so many questions….”

Gilbert places his hand back on Muriel’s shoulder and gives it a comforting squeeze. “We would be more than happy to answer them, son.”

Muriel pauses, thinking about which question he wants answered first. “...How’d they meet?”

Una gives a short chuckle and rolls her eyes as she hands Muriel two cups of warm milk for you both. “Are you both comfortable? We are all going to be here while!” Una sits onto the blanket with a smirk next to you. “...When the Master Speaker starts yapping his large trap—”

“GAH!” Gilbert clutches his chest like he’s been struck, but still keeps his large happy grin. “Oi!! That hurts! I’m not that bad, Moonlight!! Besides this is a tale from eyes, not the old songs.”

She shakes her head, snickering to herself as she gets comfortable sitting on the blanket and reaches out for her baby about to breastfeed him. You carefully hand him over to her. “Thank you, child.” She mutters to you.

Gibert crosses his legs and straightens up his trunk. You can tell this was what he was good at. “Every year during the winter, all the Kokhuri bands joined together on this great plain. On the winter solstice, we cast ourselves to our Athair Mor—Great Father Sky’s Great Lights and celebrate. It is also a good time to find a partner outside of your band. Some of the Kokhuri even called it the gathering of ‘Lovers and Lights’. Your mother, Glenna, was part of Khamgalai’s and Una band, a smaller one from the southwest Steppe.” He shields his mouth with his hand to hide from Una and loudly whispers. “...We called them the stumpy band.”

Una sputters into an amused giggle with an eyebrow raised, “—Excuse me! But you fell head over heels over a ‘stumpy’ southwesterner! And so did your father, Muriel. Besides, your band was just filled with giants!!!”

Gilbert blushes a little, snickering to himself, Muriel and you can help but be entertained by their cute banter. “Anyways —Your father, Artturi and I came from a larger eastern band…. Your parents met many years ago when they came here during winter. We were always the first two bands to arrive at the end of autumn and prepare for the others to arrive. Artturi and I were just teenagers at the time. We were about to help pitch the large gathering tent, then he stopped dead in his tracks as he saw Glenna. She was alone picking flowers and herbs in the meadow, where the graves are now. He said something about her that was enchanting, he wanted to get to know her. During the next few gatherings he slowly tried to approach her. He was patient, and he was charming, and smooth—”

Una suddenly chuckles stopping Gilbert from continuing. “Smooth?! Artturi?! No, I don’t think so! Is that what you think happened, mo ghaol? He just effortlessly swept Glenna off her feet?!”

“I-I know it did! I saw it happen!” He scoffs a little at her.

“And I did not?” She snorts. “Well that was not what Glenna thought. She wanted nothing to do with Artturi at first! She was so bashful it was ridiculous, she’d put Ida and Muriel here to shame.”

Gilbert scratches the back of his head a little. “Well, perhaps she was a little…. apprehensive.”

“Apprehensive?!” Una throws her head back in disbelief. “HA! For the love of our Mathair Mhor! She didn’t even want to speak to him the first year! Oh, Muriel.... your father was such an awkward mess when he tried to approach her. It was like watching a trout flounder helplessly out of the stream. He could barely get out any words—So, she would just walk away from him without batting an eyelash. That was Glenna for you!” Gilbert looks up through the hole of the tent, scratching his scalp, looking like he was thinking, Oh…righhhht... Una starts a little reminding herself of something and carries on. “OH! Berty! Don’t you remember? Once he tried to terribly strike up a conversation with her, she and I were both at the time scattering seed on the eastern fields. He-he says to her, ‘That’s some nice flowers you got there, but there are other things here that are prettier.’..” Muriel and you just scrunch up your faces. It was probably one of the worst pick-up line you’ve ever heard. Una laughs at his reactions. “Didn’t I tell you it was terrible, cub? Glenna just groaned, turned around, throwing the basket over his head, dumping the rest of the seeds in him, shouting, ‘Don’t you have anything better to do than to annoy me? There aren’t even any flowers in this field!’ And just... walked away!” Una starts to laugh a bit harder in remembrance, Gilbert tries to stifle his own laughter as well. “Oh me!.... Poor Artturi, he looked so heartbroken…. It didn’t help that I couldn't stop laughing at him at the time. BWHAHAHA!!!” She playfully smacks her knee.

“Oh noo!!” Gilbert groans almost painfully, slapping his hand on his face, feeling embarrassed for the man, muttering. “Ohdeargreatfather…. I almost forgot about that time…. I’m the idiot who told him to say that—” He then suddenly stops himself and quickly remarks in realization, “—Hey! I thought I was the storyteller, woman!”, still hiding his laughter. You curl your lips into your mouth, badly trying to hold back a huge smile and try not to giggle either. It’s actually a funny little story, although cringy. Yet it was rather cute in a way, los love stories have at little bit of cridgy tales in them. Even Muriel sports a large grin with a very amused look on his face.

“Fine. Carry on.” Una grins mischievously, flicking her wrist at Gilbert as she turns away a little opening up her parka coat and carefully so the baby can latch on, then covers herself to keep her and the child warm. Hearing these two talk together made you feel something warm in your chest, it was sweet and funny how they interacted with one another.

“....Thank you! Alright, so now that my wonderful wife kindly pointed that out. He did have a hard time getting her to talk to him. For quite some time actually now that I think about it…. But lucky for him, she also didn’t have many suitors because she was… well… how do I put this…people were—”

“—She was different.” Una interrupts again, but her husband didn’t seem to mind this time. “...Some were fearful... Some of our people didn’t care for the gifts our Mathair Mhor and Athair Mor, our Great Mother and Great Father gave us. Our small band had a particular surplus of these gifts. Glenna and I were close because of it. She said that she felt I was one of the only person our age that understood. Your mother could see visions of the future--”

“....That’s what … what Khamgalai told us.” Muriel utters. “....She knew about the outcome of the battle with the Scourge.” Una nods slowly, a sorrow frown taking over her lips.

You hold tight to Muriel’s hand as he sits very quietly listening intently and Gilbert continues. “...Glenna was known to be very quiet and didn’t like to talk to many people when she was younger, she got teased a lot... But your father didn’t mind her gift at all—AH! I’m getting ahead of myself....Lets got back to where we were... So anyways, after failed attempt, after failed attempt, your father still wasn’t giving up quite yet. But every time he tried to face her, she never opened up to him. And he still really wanted to get to know her, despite her surliness to him. So one gathering, he started to visit her dreams...”

Muriel and you give the same look of bewilderment. That sounds far fetched. How can someone just visit someone in their dreams? I mean… Asra did it once before to me. But that's because he was the realm of the Arcana. I don’t think the Kokhuri use magic like that…. then again, something like that was mentioned in that book.

Gilbert continues with a bit of gleam in his eyes. “He said she was this beautiful silky black bear. In her dreams she wasn’t afraid to be herself. Surprisingly she didn’t even mind him there, so he kept coming back to visit her. I guess that made her feel less different…. After a while, they slowly got to know each other that way. She even started to talk to him a little when they were awake, without dumping seeds all over him. One night, she showed him her favorite flower… The specific kind escapes me… But, after that night, your father woke up early before dawn and ran around everywhere for those flowers! They were rare and hard to find. It took him almost all day, but he brought an entire bouquet of them to her. Your mother’s cheeks were so red, I thought she was going to explode!”

“Aw!! I remember that, Berty! She never had anyone do that for her before! She didn’t know what to do!” Una interjects tilting her head and closing her eyes.

“It was quite sweet wasn’t it, Moonlight? Artturi was afraid at first she didn’t like them for a second, but she actually took them. It was the first time he made her smile outside the realms of dreams. That night, during the midnight celebration, when they cast their aura to the lights, she stood by him. She casted first, and it even waited for his to emerge! Their casts danced and played with one another, and then ran up into the great sky together. It’s very rare for casts to know one another.”

Una sighs happily reminiscing. “It was an amazing site. Father’s Great Lights were so beautiful that night.”

Gilbert chuckles as he speaks. “Your mother grabbed Artturi by his coat, pulled him down and kissed him so quickly! Sharing their first kiss under the Great Lights. They were inseparable after that! After winter was over, Artturi decided to join the southwestern band. He just wanted to be with her. I had nothing better to do at the time, so I followed him, that’s when they introduced me to Una. A few years later they got married, and a year after that you were born here, Muriel.”

Their love story is so sweet. But you both feel a little dumbfounded. “...Cast their… aura?” Muriel squints his eyes looking at you for a potential answer. You shrug shaking your head, you haven’t a clue what that means. You’ve never heard of that before, that wasn’t in the book either.

Gilbert jolts a bit, realizing that you two were getting lost. “Oh! My apologies. Of course you wouldn’t know that. A cast is what we call your own ah,—your spirit, or energy. The solstice is when Kokhuri’s spirits and hearts are at its strongest. We summon them… it’s like a small piece of you that takes on a form of its own… it is usually an animal—Kokhurian’s casts are mostly bears. Once we project our casts, they take a life of their own, and we use that energy to renew Father Sky’s Great Lights so we can keep safe from the dark long nights of winter.”

“Energy?...” You whisper to yourself, pondering this for a minute, tapping your pointer finger on your bottom lip. Then you start when you realize. “—You mean… magic?” You quickly ask, eyes wide.

Gilbert chuckles, slowly nodding. “It’s a form of it I suppose, yes.” It’s all starting to make sense now. The book you have wasn’t very far off. The Aurora is a part of ancient magic.

You look to Muriel with excitement, but he still looks lost. “What do you mean my father visited my mother’s dreams? How’s that even possible?”

Gilbert gestures to the ground and the air. “Our Great Mother Earth and Great Father Sky have given us many things. Fertile land, healthy animals, and to some, the gift of something Kokhurians call leaping.” He returns his hand back to the tops of his crossed legs. “Artturi had the gift of leaping into the present—into other people’s dreams, no matter how far. He could also feel other people's presents when he was dreaming. Out of all the gifts, leaping into dreams is the most seldom.” Gilbert leans his trunk a little closer and points his finger towards Muriel. “... But you inherited his gift, little cub!”

Muriel blinks, stumbling on his words. “M-m-me?” Gilbert nods sharply, looking somewhat excited with his wide hearty toothy smile. “That…. doesn’t sound believable.” Muriel scoffs a little, totally unconvinced.

Una sees his lack of belief on Muriel’s face, she turns back to you and gestures to her baby. “Would you mind, my dear?”

“Oh! Yes— I mean no! I mean...I-I’ll take him, gladly.” Una giggles to herself at your floundering, handing you the baby again, you grin and happily take him without a second thought. You feel like you could hold the tiny sweet bundle forever. She hastily ties her parka back and and stands to her feet, goes over to a small chest and brings out a tapestry and gives it to Muriel. He takes it from her hands tentatively, it look a bit older and weathered. It’s a bear that looks ghostly and see-through, floating into the sky, jumping on clouds, while another one that is black and appears to be whole, is curled up on the ground looking like they are fast asleep. Una kneels next to him as his eyes scan the tapestry. “When I got older, I started to have dreams of the Great Lights. Father Sky calls to all of us, he needs our casts to continue to brighten the dark sky… I’ve had this dream for quite some time. But this year, you've been leaping into my dreams, Muriel…. I suspected it was you, but I was never completely sure. So I just started to sing to you. And you kept coming back.” Una tilts her head slightly as she continues to speak. “...Haven’t you leaped in other dreams before?”

Muriel scratches his head, he looks so baffled. “… H-How should I know? I didn’t even know I...‘leaped’... into yours.” He fumbles for words a little, taking back by all of this. “H-how do you even know it’s me...leaping? Couldn’t you be doing it, Una?”

“Couldn’t be.” Gilbert reaches out to Inanna so she can sniff his hand, then she nuzzles her face into his palm and he starts to pet her. “...My wife has the gift of leaping into the past. She can see other people’s memories by touching them, and can also share hers, as you experienced first hand, Muriel.”

Muriel looks at you with his mossy green eyes, completely blown away. Gilbert chuckles through his nose. “Unlike your parents and my lovely wife, our Great Mother and Father didn’t bless me with any gifts.” He shrugs.

“That’s not true, Berty. They blessed us all different gifts. This wonderful serenading voice you hear is a gift!” Una stands by her still sitting husband, leans over and kisses him on the forehead, he can’t help but melt into her touch. They truly love each other, watching them makes your heart flutter….God I’m a freakin’ hopeless romantic. “Do you really think I was won over by your looks?—ha!” She playfully smacks him on the shoulder.

Gilbert blushes a little and snorts. “I suppose you're right, Moonlight. That is why I am a Master Speaker! A historian! Keeper of our verbal history, our stories, our songs.”

Muriel hands the tapestry very carefully back to Una, she takes it and delicately folds it back up and places it back to the chest. “Hmmm. You may have leaped before and just didn’t know it, little cub…. But it does make me wonder why you leaped into my dream now after all this time.” She says as she walks back over to her spot by the fire and starts to peel potatoes from from a large basket.

Muriel sighs, and shrugs for a moment unsure, then glances at you, immediately remembering something. “.... We… we did read something about the Kokhuri from that old book.”

“You think that triggered your gift somehow?” You ask with an eyebrow raised. It does make sense. He didn’t know about the ritual with the solstice until after the book, then he started dreaming about it almost immediately after. Maybe it just reminded him...

“... A book?”’ Gilbert’s face seems to twist for a moment before stopping himself. “...You read about us….in a book?” He seems conflicted about hearing this.

“I-I have it if you would like to look at it.” You offer.

Una and him exchange somewhat wry looks before he kindly nods in agreement. “If you wouldn't mind.” You hand Muriel the baby again, this time he doesn’t fuss as much, but he still is incredibly stiff when he holds him, making your heart melt once again.

You quickly return from the horses, carrying your cross body satchel. Carefully taking out the heavy book, Magic of the Ancients, find the right chapter and hand the open book to Gilbert. He starts to look at the flip through the pages, he appears to know how to read. “Hmpf.” He murmured to himself. “Well… whoever wrote this was most definitely not Kokhurian. They probably didn’t even get permission from us. Most of this isn’t really accurate.” He turns the page with the wedding looking ritual and scoffing. “....What the hell are they talking about? That’s a Gabhail Ris ceremony!... Trials? Pfft!!! We don’t do trials!! That’s preposterous! We just… haven’t done that ritual in a very long time.” He deeply huffs and closes the book carefully handing it back to you. Muriel darts his eye between the baby that's still in his arms, holding his large pinky finger and Gilbert's slightly frustrated face. Gilbert folds his arms and ponders looking into the fire. His face softens before he speaks again. “...Well, I can’t be too surprised…. at least this book did help you find us, Muriel. We all feared that we’d never get to see you ever again… and you wouldn’t have known about the solstice if you didn’t read it. So… I guess it’s not all that bad.”

“Actually I—I wanted to ask,” You sit on your knees beside him and take out your blank leather-back journal and show it to Gilbert. “We’ve been searching for information for a while. But that's the only thing we found. Since there isn’t really anything about Kokhuri, I was wondering if I could write things down. Make it completely accurate, telling your story from your eyes.”

Gilbert stiffens at your request, then thinks really hard about this for a minute, stroking his beard, staring at the journal. He then sits himself up tall, folding his arms tightly, gazing at you with his bluish-greenish eyes, looking at you very seriously. “... And if we don’t like how you wrote it?” He asks with an eyebrow raised.

You shrug, popping your bottom lip out a little bit, then gesture to the fire. He snorts, then throws back his head in laughter, unfolding his arms. “I like you, Rhemi! You’ve got a keeper, Muriel!” Muriel blushes a bit, but keeps a proud smile across his lips. Gilbert places his very large hands on your shoulder, patting it very gently. “... Alright then. You can write about us as long as I approve of how it’s told.”

You give him a huge smile feeling very giddy, “Deal! T-Thank you so much!”

Ava’s tall figure comes through the tent without even glancing at you or Muriel, and taps their father’s shoulder, he turns to look at them. They wave their hands expressively, and he watches intently. They must communicate that way. He nods, understanding everything. “Ah, yes, yes, yes! We’ll be right there, Ava.” They nodded sharply to him, quickly turning about to head out of the tent.

You blink a little and ask the question to Gilbert before you could think twice. “...Are they deaf?”

Before Gilbert can answer, Ava whips their body around to face you and scowls a little, making you and Muriel jolt in surprise. They vigorously shake their head, pointing expressively to their ears, gesturing that they can in fact hear. Muriel brow furrows, disliking their attitude. “....S-....sorry.” You rub the back of your head nervously, feeling a little rude for asking that.

Una clears her throat and shoots Ava a particularly scolding look, they then scoff as they turn their heels grumpily stomping out of the tent. Una shakes her head slowly. “Don’t mind Ava. They’re just….very wary of new people.”

Gilbert stands on his feet, and you hear his older knees crack and pop a bit. “Ava said that your tent is ready.”

Muriel and you look at each other confused. “But we...we haven’t unpacked the horses yet.”

“Hmm?” Gilbert brings up his hands and waves then apologetically. “Oh! Yes! Sorry! Sorry! Ava, Shona, and Shawn have made both of you one! It gets icy on this tundra, and you need a tent where you can have a fire safely inside. The one you have just won’t do.” Muriel and you exchange glances and Gilbert looks pointedly at him. “You… You do intend on staying with us at least until the solstice… yes,?”

Muriel’s eyes flutter a little. “You…want me….to join you?”

“What?!” Gilbert’s shoulders drop a little, baffled. “O-of course we do, little cub!! You are a Kokhurian after all! Our Great Mother and Father obviously wanted you here with us! Why else would they give you the gifts? The more casts during the midnight celebration the better! And by the looks of it, your cast will be very strong!”

Your gaze meets with his. He has never looked so honored. You smile at him reassuringly. He exhales hard, processing everything for a moment. “Only…. only if Rhemi’s aloud.” You feel your heart leap.

“Why, yes!! Of course! Of course! Of course! Rhemi is very aloud! She’s going to be your wife after all! What kind of family would we be if we didn’t allow her?” Gilbert shoulders quake as he lets out another hearty laugh while Una chuckles, making quick work of the potatoes still. “We’re just happy to have you here, cub.”

Muriel can’t help but look very delighted. You never thought he'd be happy to be with a bunch of new people. But he is. Una and Gilbert were different, they made you both feel not like an outsider looking in, but a part of they’re large family. It’s strange, but also…. nice. It feels good to be around them. You don’t remember your family... Neither does Muriel. It’s refreshing in a way, like you have been secretly longing for that feeling of belonging somewhere.

Suddenly tears swell in Muriel's eyes. He tries to fight them back as he looks away and wipes them before they run down. “S-Sorry.” He whispers, clearing his throat. He never seems to cry in front of anyone except you, it’s alarming for him and you. But he’s starting to open up to them already.

Gilbert holds out his hand to Muriel and Una drops the potato in the blanket, grabbing the baby from his arms. He looks at his large hand for a moment, then slowly takes hold. Gilbert pulls Muriel up to his feet and throws him into his arms quickly, giving him a very tight, but genuine comforting fatherly hug. Muriel is very tense at first, but even Gilbert has tears. “Nothing to be ashamed of, little cub. We are proud and happy to have you back.”

Muriel slowly leans into him accepting the embrace. Those words. We are proud. They’re difficult for Muriel to accept, but it must be so good to hear them. Una hugs Muriel’s side while holding the child in her arms. “We love you, Muriel. We always have.”

Gilbert and Una release him and let him continue to sniffle and wipe his tears from his eyes. Looking at his feet. “I just...I-I don't feel like I deserve it.” He mumbles, still choking back his tears. “You don’t really know me....”

Una places her hand on his cheek and he glances at her. “But you do deserve it, my sweet cub.” She grabs his wrist inspecting the scar tissue where his chains once were and looks back up to him with sorrowful knowing eyes. “...You’ve been alone for long enough.” Una… she must have looked into his past. She must know about his suffering. She doesn’t love him any less either. You keep standing next to the fire watching this scene. Taking it all in, tears in your eyes too. It’s good to see this. You can’t help but feel so proud of Muriel’s growth, he never would let anyone see that side of him more than a year ago. But Muriel needed that loving reassurance more than either of you realized.

“T-thank you.” He utters with a soft smile and Gilbert squeezes his shoulder again, wiping away his own tears. You finally make your way to his side and he takes your hand. Muriel then straightens himself, resuming his iconic embarrassed and flushed face. He fakely coughs, floundering a little. “S-So, ah…. that —that tent…. you were, ah, t-t-talking about, G-Gilbert?”

Una and Gilbert laugh to themselves. Muriel isn’t a man who shows emotion like that easily. They both know it, you can see it in their eyes. “Come! Let's get you two settled in. It will be dark soon. Dinner will be a few hours.”

Gilbert opens the entrance to the tent and starts to show you where your new tent is as Muriel holds your hand tightly.

You feel so excited. This is a whole new experience for Muriel. You feel so humbled to be here too.

To be continued~

Hey all you trash pandas! I’m on AO3 now under the same username: MADLLAMAMOMMA

Anyways. Sorry this is so long winded. But there is A LOT to explain here. Keep yourselves posted for the next bit, as always, Hoped you liked my hot trash!

#the arana #the arcane game #muriel #muriel the arcana #the hermit #the mountain man #muriel the mountain man #muriel the hermit #muriel x reader #muriel x oc #muriel x mc #lore #worldbuilding #love story #fluff #cute fluff #swf

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lastbluetardis · 5 years

Text

And Babies Make Five and Six (15/16)

Summary: Sometimes the things we want the most stay just out of reach. But after an extra helping of heartache as they try for a third baby, James and Rose are blessed with double the joy. Triggers for infertility.

Betaed by the marvelous @chocolatequeennk. This is also for @doctorroseprompts because it’s Doctor x Rose and I’m giving the tag a teeny break from ficmas ;)

We’re almost to the end! The penultimate chapter!

Ten x Rose AU

This chapter: Teen, 8600 words

Ages of the Tyler-McCrimmons at the start of the chapter: James: 38, Rose: 32, Ainsley: 8, Sianin: 5

AO3 | TSP | FF | Perfectly Matched Series

Ch1 | Ch2 | Ch3 | Ch4 | Ch5 | Ch6 | Ch7 | Ch8 | Ch9 | Ch10 | Ch11| Ch12 | Ch13 | Ch14 | Ch15 | Ch16

James’s mind was a mess of noise, with one thought at the forefront: they’d made a baby. They’d finally made a baby. After four years—four agonizing, heartbreaking years—they were pregnant. And now he couldn’t seem to stop crying. He cried for the pain he and Rose had unwittingly caused each other, for the sheer exhaustion that seemed to settle over him, and for the undiluted, all-consuming joy he felt.

How many times had he and Rose wished for this very moment over the last four years? How many times had he taken her into his arms and whispered that it would be okay, that they’d try again, that it would happen for them eventually?

Then he thought he’d rescinded all chances of becoming a dad again, and he’d been okay with it. Happy, really, when it meant that he and Rose were happier. The last seven months had been filled with love and laughter despite their decision to stop trying to prevent a baby from being made. As Rose had put it, they were playing a lottery they never expected to win.

Only now they had won. And it was more emotional than James remembered their other two lottery wins being.

He was aware that Rose was rocking him gently from side to side and murmuring words of comfort and support into his ear while her hand made long, slow lines up and down his spine. The ache in his knees told him they’d been kneeling on the floor together for quite some time, and now his back was beginning to twinge at the awkward angle of their embrace.

Yet Rose was still holding him, and he knew she’d continue to hold him for as long as he needed.

He pulled back and rubbed his palms vigorously over his face. His eyes were heavy and scratchy and his nose was utterly clogged.

Rose reached up for the box of tissues on the vanity and set it between them. They each blew their noses and blotted their faces, and finally James turned to look at Rose.

“How long have you suspected something?” he croaked out.

“Just this morning,” she answered. She moved to sit on her bum, and he sat beside her. He wrapped one arm around her waist and rested his other hand low on her abdomen. “When I puked at Sianin’s banana and realized the last time I’d gotten sick over bananas was when I was pregnant with her. And then I saw an unopened box of tampons you’d picked up for me two weeks ago in anticipation of my period. It took me a damn long while to figure out the last time I’d had my period, by the way.”

James chuckled and buried his nose into her hair, breathing her in. A new little life was living inside of his wife. A little life he helped to make, and one that he could offer no help in growing or nourishing, apart from keeping Rose happy, healthy, cared for.

“You are happy, right?” Rose asked quietly, playing with his wedding band on the hand resting on her belly.

“Of course I am,” he answered immediately. “I know I’ve done nothing but cry, but God, I’m so, so happy. I feel kind of exhausted though. A good exhausted, I think.”

“Me too.” She tilted her head up to look at him with a cheeky grin. “I’m glad you liked your surprise.”

“I have never been happier to receive a wee’d-on stick,” he drawled, and she laughed. The sound triggered his own, and they giggled together on the floor of their en suite. “What do we do now?” he mused when their laughter subsided.

“What do you mean?” she asked.

He shrugged. “We’re pregnant. And my body feels like it’s going to burst apart with happiness and love for this human I haven’t even met yet, but we’ve still got nine whole months before we meet our baby. It feels like my entire world just changed, but really nothing has yet, and nothing will for a while, and I just…” He shrugged again.

“I know. I suppose we keep on with our daily lives as normally as we can,” Rose answered. “But if you want to actually do something, maybe you could start by cleaning out the pantry of those godawful bananas that Sianin considers edible.”

James laughed and pressed a kiss to her forehead before he pushed himself to his feet.

Their giddiness lasted the entire day. When they went to pick up the kids that evening, Ainsley and Sianin caught on to their infectious mood. They ordered pizza for dinner and went to the park, where the family laughed and played together for hours.

When the girls went off to join a group of kids playing a game of football, James and Rose collapsed in an exhausted heap onto the blanket they’d brought. Rose nibbled on a slice of cold pizza and watched James, who’d become quiet and pensive.

“What’s going on in that big brain of yours?” she asked, nudging her elbow into his ribs.

“Oh, just thinking.”

“Obviously.” She paused for a beat, then asked, “D’you want to talk about it?”

He said nothing, and Rose tried not to be hurt that he didn’t seem to want to share his feelings. But she reminded herself that he always gave her time and space to think. So she finished up her pizza in silence and then rested her head on his shoulder as she watched Sianin crash into a little boy and kick the ball away from him.

“She should take up sports when she gets bigger,” James mused softly.

Rose snorted. “God knows she needs ways to burn off all of her energy.”

He hummed noncommittally and leaned down to peck a kiss to the top of her head before he finally said, “I was thinking about the baby. And how in the past, we waited until the first trimester was over to tell people about the pregnancy.”

Rose shifted her head off his shoulder to look at him. “You want to tell people?”

“Not everyone,” he clarified. “But Dad and Jackie? Their hearts have been breaking for us, love. And they’ve been so supportive. I think they deserve to know. And…” He blew out a shaky breath and reached out to brush his fingertips over her flat belly. “And God forbid anything happens… We’ll need emotional support. I think we need emotional support now, too.”

Rose nodded and covered his hand with hers on her stomach.

“We don’t have to if you don’t agree,” James said. “But it’s what I was thinking.”

“Thank you for telling me,” Rose said, bringing his hand away from her stomach to kiss his knuckles. “Let me think about it?”

“Of course.” He pressed a kiss to her temple, and she felt him smile against her skin before he said, “Just let me know within the next nine months.”

Rose giggled and pinched his side. “Nutter.”

“Your nutter.”

Rose took the next few days to mull over what James had said about wanting to tell their parents the good news. She weighed the pros and the cons of it all, and kept coming back to one hiccup in the plan.

“I think the girls deserve to be told first,” she said a few nights later as she joined her husband on the couch after tucking the kids into bed.

“Hmm?”

“About the baby,” she clarified. “This is their new little brother or sister. And I dunno, it seems like they should know about it first. I think they’re old enough—Ainsley especially—to understand what’s happening even if I don’t have a baby bump to prove anything yet.”

“If we tell them, they’ll blurt it out to their grandparents unceremoniously,” James warned.

“Yeah, I’d considered that,” Rose admitted. “But I think I’ve got a solution…”

James agreed wholeheartedly with Rose’s idea, and the two of them worked together to get everything arranged for the reveal.

The morning that the family was scheduled to depart for Brighton, James and Rose ate breakfast with their kids. When everyone was done, Rose moved to the living room and grabbed two photo albums she wanted to show the girls.

“D’you know what my favorite pictures of you two are?” she asked. When Ainsley and Sianin shook their heads, Rose set the photo albums on the table. They were of the girls’ first year of life. She opened the books to the first page, where a series of black and white sonogram photos were taped. “These. They’re the first photos your dad and I have of you. These are from when you were growing in my belly. You two were so wanted and loved right from the very start.”

Sianin cocked her head to the side. “It looks like an alien.”

James chuckled and ruffled his fingers through her hair. “Yeah, I guess it does a little bit.” He stepped over to Rose and wrapped his arm around her waist. He could practically feel her body vibrating with excitement. “You look less alien as time goes on.”

He reached forward and traced his fingertips across the sonogram photos, guiding Sianin’s eyes to the growth and progression from tiny fetus to baby. His fingers finally landed on her newborn photo. Not to brag, but James was certain he and Rose had made the most beautiful babies to ever exist.

“D’you want to know why we’re showing you these photos?” Rose asked. “It’s because we’re soon going to be starting up a whole new album.”

She reached to the kitchen island for the photo album she and James had bought together earlier that week. She set it on the table between Ainsley and Sianin.

James watched as Sianin’s face remained blank, but Ainsley’s split into a wide grin.

“Yeah?” she asked tentatively. “Mum, are you pregnant?”

Rose nodded fervently, beaming, and Ainsley squealed. She jumped up from her seat and bolted for her mother. As Rose wrapped Ainsley in a tight hug, James moved over to Sianin.

“Do you understand, sweetheart?” he asked gently. “Mummy’s pregnant. That means a little baby is growing inside of her belly, and in about nine months, you’ll be a big sister! Isn’t that exciting?”

Sianin glanced over at Ainsley, who was still in Rose’s arms. The two of them were grinning and Ainsley had her fingertips pressed to Rose’s flat stomach.

His five-year-old looked back at him and smiled. “Yeah. That’s cool.”

“It is pretty cool,” James agreed. “Are you excited? You’ll get to be a big sister like Ainsley. You’ll have a little brother or sister to love and play with, like you and Ainsley play together.”

Sianin’s smile widened, then she scooted off her chair to join Ainsley and Rose. James watched his family embrace, his heart full to bursting with love and happiness.

“Does the baby look like an alien?” Sianin asked, squinting at Rose’s stomach as though trying to see right through it.

“Yep,” Rose answered happily. “Daddy and I don’t have a picture yet, but as soon as we do, we’ll show you. We’ll get a new picture of the baby every couple of months, and you’ll be able to see it grow.”

“How’d it get inside you?” Sianin asked.

Rose looked up at James and met his gaze. He stepped over to them and wrapped an arm loosely around Rose’s waist and said, “Well… mums and dads have two different parts that, when put together, can make a baby.”

“How?” Sianin asked again.

James glanced down at Rose. He couldn’t remember how they’d explained to Ainsley where babies came from. Granted, she’d been much younger, so she’d probably accepted their explanation at face value.

“Well,” Rose said, “when Daddy and I have our private alone time, a little part of him goes inside of me. He has these things called sperm, they’re like little seeds, and I have eggs. When these two things combine, they start the process of growing a baby.”

“Eggs… Like a bird?” Sianin asked, a furrow forming between her brow. She glanced dubiously at James.

“No, different than a bird,” he answered. His cheeks warmed from Sianin’s blunt questions, but he and Rose had agreed ages ago to always answer their children’s questions as honestly and accurately as possible while keeping it age-appropriate. “Mummy’s eggs are soft and squishy and stay inside of her to make a baby.”

Sianin considered him for a moment, then asked, “If this happens during private alone time, why haven’t you made a gazillion babies?”

“There are ways to stop a baby from being made,” Rose answered. “And sometimes a baby isn’t always made right away. It can take time.”

James gave her waist a little squeeze. “Any other questions, darling?” He turned to his eldest. “Ainsley? Anything you want to ask?”

While Ainsley shook her head, Sianin asked, “How’s the baby gonna get out of Mummy?”

“In about nine months, the baby will be too big to fit in my belly,” Rose answered. “And so your daddy and I will go to a doctor and have them help take it out of me. I’ve got a little hole between my legs—no, not the hole I wee out of—and when the baby is ready, it’ll come out of that hole. When it’s time for that, your gran and grandad will come stay with you and you’ll have a sleepover.”

Sianin’s face lit up at that.

“Speaking of Gran and Grandad,” Rose said, glancing at the clock, “they’ll be here any minute. Go finish getting ready to leave. Brush your teeth, wee, and go through your suitcases one more time to make sure you have everything. Stay in your room ‘til Dad and I call for you, otherwise we won’t stop for ice cream tonight.”

Sianin’s eyes widened, and she turned and sprinted down the hall for her bedroom. Ainsley shook her head at her sister, but dutifully followed.

When they were gone, James turned to Rose with an arched eyebrow. “Should I be concerned that you said I have a little part that goes inside you during our private alone time?”

Rose rolled her eyes and smacked his chest. “Oh, shut it. You know your part is a perfectly adequate size and I love it just the way it is.”

Their parents arrived shortly thereafter, within minutes of each other. As they all sat around the table for one final cup of tea before they departed, Robert took note of the photo albums on the kitchen island.

“I’m glad to see you getting back to photography, Rose,” he said. He jerked his chin towards the new album. “Starting another family album?”

“Nah,” she said nonchalantly, taking a sip of her tea. “Ainsley and Sianin got their own albums, so we thought this baby deserved one of their own, too.”

Jackie and Robert went utterly still, and Rose glanced over at James. They shared a grin.

“Are you…?” Robert left the sentence dangling, and when Rose and James nodded, he let out a long breath.

“Oh, my God!” Jackie squealed. She jumped up from her chair, and Rose stood up, too. Jackie threw her arms around Rose and began rubbing long, slow lines up and down her back. “Oh, sweetheart!”

James heard his wife let out a sob, and his heart ached at the sound.

“Congratulations, mate.”

He startled when his dad’s hands rested on his shoulders, but he stood and accepted his father’s hug. When they pulled back, he was tugged into another pair of arms as Jackie held him tightly.

“This is so wonderful!” she breathed into his neck. “I’m so, so happy for you!”

James’s eyes stung, and he tightened his grip around his mother-in-law. After a few moments, he pulled back and saw Rose was wrapped up in his father’s arms. Robert was rocking them gently, and James realized Rose was crying in earnest into his shoulder. The sight made his eyes burn and he pressed his fingers into them.

“I’m so happy for you, darling,” Robert murmured, pressing a kiss to the side of Rose’s head. He pulled back to cradle Rose’s tear-stained cheeks in his palms. His thumbs brushed at her tears, and he dropped a kiss to her forehead. “I’ve been praying for you two, and for a successful, healthy conception. I’m so happy for you and James.”

At the words, Rose’s face crumpled again and she buried her face into Robert’s neck once more.

A small hand rubbed at his arm, and James realized his efforts to swallow back his tears hadn’t worked. His vision blurred, and when he blinked, two tears rolled slowly down his cheeks. He swiped them away and let Jackie wrap him in a sideways hug. It was only then that he realized Jackie’s eyes were brimming with tears, too.

“My heart has been breaking for you two,” she whispered. “It’s gutted me to see you both so unhappy. I’m glad this finally happened for you.”

“Me too,” he rasped.

A few moments later, Rose pulled away from Robert, and James stepped up to her. He brushed his lips to her temple and wrapped her into a tight hug.

“God, I swear I’m happy,” she said with a watery laugh, swiping at her eyes. “I can’t seem to stop crying about it though.”

“Understandable,” Robert said. “My wife and I were the same way when we held James for the first time.”

“When did you find out?” Jackie asked.

“Last week,” Rose said. “It’s still really early, but you’ve both been so supportive of us over the last couple of years and we needed to share this with you straight away.”

“Do the girls know yet?” Robert asked.

“Yeah, we told them right before you arrived,” James answered. “We didn’t want them to be the ones to drop the news to you though, so we’ve sequestered them in their rooms until we were able to talk to you.” He looked at his wife. “I’ll bet they’re dying to be let out now.”

At her nod, James turned down the hall to his girls’ rooms. “Ainsley. Sianin. You can come out now. Bring your suitcases and set them by the door, please.”

Both girls exited their rooms at top speed, and James wondered if they’d been waiting at their doors. He followed them and watched them toss their suitcases in the general vicinity of the front door before they rushed into the kitchen and hollered for their grandparents.

“Mummy’s gonna have a baby!”

“Mum’s pregnant!”

“I’m gonna be a big sister like Ainsley!”

“We’re getting a baby brother or sister!”

James leaned against the doorframe and listened to his daughters talk over each other in their excitement to share the news with Robert and Jackie. A moment later, Rose sidled up to him and slipped an arm around his waist.

“Love you,” she murmured, resting her head on his shoulder but tilting it up so she could look at him.

Her eyes were still a bit red from her earlier tears, but she was still the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He brushed a tendril of hair behind her ear, he pressed his lips to hers softly, sweetly, before he said, “I love you, too.”

oOoOo

When they got home from their family vacation to Brighton, Rose called for an appointment with Elizabeth to check on their growing baby’s health. It took a couple weeks to find an opening, but finally James and Rose strolled into the clinic, excited at the prospect of seeing the first ultrasound image of their new baby.

The clinic was relatively empty, except for a woman who looked like she was due any day and a woman who appeared about halfway through a pregnancy.

A receptionist spotted them and smiled.

“Hi. I’m Rose Tyler-McCrimmon. I’ve got an appointment with Elizabeth,” Rose said when they stepped up to the front desk.

The receptionist frowned. “I’m sorry. Elizabeth got called away for a delivery. You’ll be seen by one of our sonographers instead.”

“No worries,” Rose said, waving away her apologies. “There’s no telling when a baby wants to make an entrance.”

The receptionist smiled in relief, and James wondered how often people got upset that their scheduled nurse or doctor couldn’t see them. He shrugged and walked with Rose to the waiting area, where she began to fill out a bunch of forms.

“I’m so excited,” he said when she came back from turning in the paperwork.

Rose smiled and rested her head on his shoulder.

“Me too,” she said.

A few minutes later, a nurse called Rose’s name, and they followed her back to an exam room. James waited impatiently as they went through all of the routine checks and questions, but finally, the nurse left the room and a sonographer took her place.

After the equipment was set up, the sonographer smeared gel across Rose’s abdomen and held up a wand. “Okay, let’s take a look at your baby!”

James beamed down at his wife, giddy with excitement. He reached for her hand as he sat by her head. Her fingers squeezed his, and he brought them to his lips for a kiss.

He watched the technician roll her probe across Rose’s stomach, then she stared intently at her computer. Her brows furrowed and her gentle smile slipped from her face. “Oh.”

The bottom dropped out of James’s stomach.

“What? What is it? What’s wrong?” he demanded. He couldn’t tell whose grip had tightened, his or Rose’s, but he knew his fingers were aching with how hard they were holding each other’s hand. “Is something the matter with our baby? Is it okay? Please!”

“Yes, yes, sorry, your baby is fine,” the technician quickly assured, seeing James and Rose’s stricken faces. “Actually, your babies are fine. Have a look.”

James’s ears rang and his mouth seemed to be stuffed with cotton as the technician spun the computer monitor around for them to see. Their knuckles were white as they clutched each other’s hands and scoured the screen.

He had always been rubbish at looking at early ultrasound images, and so James clung tighter to Rose’s hand as he waited impatiently for the tech to tell him again that his baby—babies?—were okay.

“Here is Baby A,” the tech said, tracing her finger around an amorphous whitish-gray blob. “And here is Baby B.” She circled her finger around another one. “Congratulations! You’re having twins!”

Twins? Twins. He and Rose were having twins. Two babies. They’d made two babies!

“I’m sorry I worried you. It’s just that you’re my very first case of imaging twins.”

“Twins,” James breathed, leaning closer to the computer monitor. He then looked over at Rose, who had tears streaming silently down her cheeks. “Twins! Oh, Rose! Isn’t this brilliant! We made two babies! Ha! Look at my sperm and your egg now!”

“You nutter,” she sniffled, swiping her hands across her eyes. Before he could retort with his usual comeback, she smiled and said, “But you’re my nutter.”

He giggled high in his throat and leaned over to peck a kiss to her forehead. But his lips missed and landed clumsily against her eye when a rapid whumpa-whumpa-whumpa rhythm sounded from the computer.

“Oh, Rose!”

“Shh,” she whispered. “Oh, God.”

Her face crumpled again, and James felt his own tears prickling behind his eyes. He wrapped his arm around Rose’s shoulders. He nuzzled his nose into her hair, resting his forehead against the top of her head, as he closed his eyes and listened to the sound of their babies’ heartbeats.

“Which one is which?” he asked softly, memorizing the sound of the beats.

“It’s too early to tell,” the technician said. “If you take a look…” James opened his eyes and saw her point to a number on the screen. It read 149, then a second later 153, then a second later 151. “Our instruments can’t quite detect that there are two distinct heartbeats. Don’t worry though. Everything looks completely healthy with both babies.”

“Are they identical?” Rose asked, covering James’s hand where it was curled around her shoulder.

“Again, it’s too early to tell,” the technician said as she ran her probe across Rose’s stomach. “Give me a minute to find the best angle…”

A moment later, she smiled triumphantly and took a snapshot of the ultrasound image. As she made notes in Rose’s file, Rose got herself cleaned up. Several minutes later, she and James walked hand in hand back to their car with a picture of the two newest Tyler-McCrimmons tucked away in Rose’s handbag.

James held Rose’s hand as he drove them home, and he watched her out of the corner of his eye as she stared out the window. She didn’t make a sound for the entire ride, and by the time they arrived to their house, James began to worry something was wrong. Maybe she wasn’t as happy about the news that they were expecting twins as he was. He thought she’d been excited, but then again, maybe he’d been projecting his utter joy onto her.

“Are you all right?” he asked tentatively, slipping his shoes off by the front door.

“Yeah,” she murmured, walking into the kitchen to start the kettle. It was the first thing she’d said since they left the clinic, and the distance in her voice contradicted her affirmation that she was okay.

“Are you sure?” he asked, leaning against the counter as he watched her move around the kitchen.

“Yeah,” she said again.

“You don’t look okay,” he said carefully. “Are you… are you happy?”

“Yeah,” she said, flicking the kettle on.

“Why don’t I believe that?” he asked, moving to stand beside her.

She finally turned to look at him, and she reached out to take his hand.

“James, I promise,” she said firmly, “I promise that I’m happy. I’m overjoyed. Honestly.”

James furrowed his brows. She was still far too subdued for his liking. He wanted to shout it from the rooftops that they were having twins. He wanted to call up his dad and Jackie and share the good news. He wanted to swing Rose around in his arms and laugh because his joy couldn’t possibly be contained.

“Okay,” he finally said, conceding that if she said she was okay, then she really was okay.

Rose gave him a small smile and turned to grab a tea bag.

“You want one?” she asked, looking over her shoulder at him.

He nodded and watched her make their tea to their liking, then he accepted the steaming cup from her with a thanks and a brush of his fingers over her hand.

“Sit with me?” she asked, nodding to the kitchen table.

They sat and sipped at their tea, neither speaking.

“You still don’t think I’m okay,” Rose said, smirking wryly at him.

James shrugged sheepishly. “Sorry. It’s just… you’re being quiet, is all.”

“I’m processing,” Rose said. “I am absolutely ecstatic that we’re pregnant, and I’m so excited that there are two babies inside of me. But it’s a shock. There are two babies inside of me. We couldn’t even make one with four years of trying, now suddenly our children are doubling in number.

“I’m worried about how we’re going to handle two newborns at once, and about how I’m going to push out two babies when my last birth experience was so traumatic. I’m worried about falling into depression again and leaving you to look after our four kids as I sort myself out, and about putting all that pressure on you. I’m worried about how Ainsley and Sianin will take the news and what they’ll think of getting two little siblings. I’m thinking about the house, and how it might be a little small for six people.

“Despite all of that, my heart is so full of joy and excitement and more love than it’s ever felt. It’s just a lot to process right now. But please believe me James, I don’t regret anything, and I am unbelievably happy about this news.”

James let out a long breath. He hadn’t even considered half of what Rose had said. He’d been too preoccupied with the love he already felt for the two babies he’d helped make. Now that she’d opened up about some of her concerns, his mind began to whir in an attempt to assuage her fears as best as he could.

He started with the easiest.

“Do you think we should look into buying a new home?” he asked. “Or talk with my dad to get the Scotland house transferred to us?”

“I dunno,” Rose sighed. “I do think we’ll need a bigger house. But do we want to upend Ainsley and Sianin’s lives so completely? Having a new baby is already a huge change. Having two new babies is an even bigger change. Combine that with making them leave the only home they’ve ever known, leaving their friends behind, and starting at a brand-new school… I don’t want to overwhelm them.”

“What are you thinking instead?”

“I say we stay here in our house for the time being,” Rose answered. “At least ‘til the babies are born and we’re in a firm routine. Then maybe once things have settled, we can revisit this conversation.”

“Sounds good.” He reached over and rested his hand on her forearm. She took her hand away from her mug, flipping it palm up. James took the hint and threaded their fingers together. “I wish I could tell you that this birth and recovery will be easier than Sianin’s. But I can’t guarantee that. You don’t know how badly I wish I could, Rose. But I can guarantee that I will be here for you no matter what, and I will help you in any way I can.”

Rose gave him a small smile, then scooted her chair closer to his and rested her head on his shoulder. “I know you will. And I appreciate that very much.”

When the girls got home later that evening, the first thing out of Ainsley’s mouth was, “Did you get a picture of the baby?”

“We sure did,” James said. “With an added bonus…”

Rose handed the ultrasound photo to Ainsley, who angled it so Sianin could see, too.

“I don’t even see an alien,” Sianin muttered, frowning. “Are you sure there’s a baby in you?”

“Very sure,” Rose confirmed.

“These circles…” Ainsley traced her fingers around the two red circles surrounding two white blobs.

“Mhm. What do you think that means?” James asked.

“It can’t be two babies… can it?” Ainsley peered up at James, then at Rose. Upon seeing their wide smiles and nodding heads, she beamed at them. “You’re having twins?!”

“How’d that happen?” Sianin asked. She eyed her parents up and down in turn. “Did you have even more private alone time?”

James choked on a laugh. He glanced up at Rose and saw her eyes dancing with amusement.

“No, darling,” he said, “twins just happen sometimes. Mummy can’t get pregnant again no matter how much private alone time we have.”

He waggled his eyebrows at his wife, earning him a groan from Ainsley and a raspberry blown at him from Rose. Giggling, James stepped up to Rose and pressed a loud, enthusiastic kiss to her cheek.

oOoOo

After having two babies, Rose figured she was as prepared as she could be for her third pregnancy. However, she forgot to take into account the differences that came with carrying twins.

For instance, it seemed as though she began showing a baby bump as soon as they broke the news that they were expecting twins. James was ecstatic about that, and used every excuse he could to touch her growing belly. The girls, too, enjoyed touching it and speaking to it. Rose’s heart melted a little more each time they talked to their new siblings.

And during her previous pregnancies, Rose hadn’t had many food cravings, but this time around, she felt constantly hungry. James made sure to keep the house stocked with all of her favorite foods, and they’d had to hide chocolate in their bedroom to keep the girls from eating too much of it.

Time seemed to paradoxically fly and drag. They were more than impatient to meet their two newest children, but the weeks flew by in hindsight. After Rose passed into the second trimester, she and James breathed a sigh of relief that they were in the clear.

Rose’s twenty-week appointment was met with the added excitement of finding out the gender of their babies.

“I hear we’ve got double the joy this time,” Elizabeth said as she strode into the examination room. “My congratulations to you both. Are you ready to see the sexes?”

After receiving eager nods from the parents-to-be, Elizabeth rolled her ultrasound probe across Rose’s gel-smeared stomach. A few seconds later, a cacophony of overlapping heartbeats resounded through the room.

“God, I love that sound,” Rose said, looking at Elizabeth’s computer screen.

“It’s one of my favorite parts of being a midwife,” Elizabeth admitted. Her teeth sank into her lower lip as she zoomed in on one of the babies and adjusted the angle of the shot. With a smile, she said, “Baby One is a little girl, and…” She rolled her probe to the other side of Rose’s stomach. “And so is Baby Two.”

“Twin girls,” James breathed in awe. “Rose, we’ve got little baby girls!”

“Still outnumbered,” she teased, sticking her tongue out at him. “My poor baby, living with five females.”

“My testosterone levels are utterly depleted,” he’d said with a melodramatic sigh that morphed into a grinning giggle. Nuzzling his nose into her hair, he pressed a kiss to the skin of her temple and murmured, “I will happily be outnumbered a hundred to one. I adore you and our daughters so much.”

“Well, I doubt you’d be as content having a hundred kids to try and keep track of,” Rose drawled.

He blew a raspberry at her in lieu of a response as Elizabeth stifled her grin and moved to print the ultrasound images of each baby.

“The technician wasn’t able to say before… can you tell if they’re identical or fraternal?” Rose asked.

“I can give you my best guess.” Elizabeth turned away from the printer to stand by her computer monitor again. She brushed her fingertip along the top of the screen at a dark grey mass. “This is the placenta. And there’s just one of them. This makes me think that they’re identical. Fraternal twins usually have two. But sometimes that isn’t entirely the case. We can do a DNA test once the babies are born to give you a concrete answer. It’s a simple cheek swab. Completely painless for your little ones.”

“That’s incredible,” James breathed. “Incredible!”

“And I was wondering… have you decided whether you’re doing a home birth again? The reason I ask is that twins inherently come with more complications,” Elizabeth said. “My suggestion would be to stay here in our facilities, but obviously the choice is entirely yours. There are ways to make a home birth as safe as a hospital birth.”

“Yeah, we were talking a little bit,” Rose said, “and we think we’d like to be at your birth center this time ‘round.”

Elizabeth nodded and smiled. “Excellent. I can get you started on the application process. Don’t worry, it’s only a formality by now. Oh, and before I forget…” She strode over to the printer and collected two shiny photos. “Your babies. They’re growing nicely and appear to be in great health. They’re right on track for a March 20th due date… which, if I remember, is your other little one’s birthday?”

James and Rose both nodded.

“It’s a very slim chance they’ll be sharing birthdays, though,” Elizabeth said. “I trust you were told that twins tend to come early? The average is usually around 38 weeks, but I’ve seen as early as 35. So I recommend you get everything prepared under the assumption you’ll have babies by mid-February.

“Also, I do want to make you aware of one tiny little thing: the second baby is in the breech position, which means that she’s facing bum-down rather than head-down.” Elizabeth pointed to her screen to show that indeed one twin was head-down while the other was head-up.

“Is that a problem?” Rose asked, her brows furrowing.

“No, no,” Elizabeth assured. “Not if she remains the second baby. As they’re positioned now, you’ll deliver Baby One first, who will have opened you up wide enough that Baby Two will have plenty of room to follow her sister. Breech babies are slightly more difficult to deliver if they’re the first ones out.”

“And if they swap positions?” James asked. “What happens then?”

“There’s just a larger chance of complications during the delivery,” Elizabeth said, keeping her voice gentle upon seeing James’s tight jaw. “I have delivered my share of breech babies, and I promise you that I will do everything in my power to ensure you get to hold two healthy baby girls in twenty or so weeks.”

With the gender of their babies revealed, James and Rose began working on the nursery. Wanting the babies to be closer to their bedroom, they moved Sianin’s room into the home office and the home office into the basement. They painted the nursery walls in soft hues of pink and yellow, and slowly began accumulating duplicate supplies.

By the time winter break arrived, they’d put the finishing touches on the nursery. Rose traced two baby elephants on the walls above each crib, and painted hearts floating between each of the little trunks. Amidst the hearts, she painted the names of their newest daughters: Hannah Brianne and Madeline Emily.

“You are amazing,” James murmured when she showed him the finished product. “So amazing and so talented. I love it. I love you.”

As winter dredged on and Rose was well into her third trimester, the anticipation and excitement was nearly unbearable. James couldn’t wait to hold his newest daughters and finally feel like he was doing his part to care for them. Rose couldn’t wait to get them out of her body, which was twinging with new aches and pains every day.

After the typical excitement of the holidays was over, boredom crept over the house. The weather was cold and wet, making everyone miserable. Ainsley and Sianin wanted to get out and do things, but it was difficult when Rose had very low energy. She tried, but often came home with an aching back and sore, swollen feet.

“I’m useless,” she muttered as she sank into a bubble bath James had made for her.

“You’re growing our two little girls,” he replied patiently, sitting on the floor beside her. “That’s not useless. It’s very energetically taxing. You’re being much more patient and good-tempered than I would be.”

Rose finally cracked a smile, one that James mirrored.

When the water turned cool, James helped her stand and get out of the tub. He moisturized her legs for her, since she could no longer reach past her huge stomach. Her heart pulsed with warmth and love at having such an amazing husband.

“I love you,” she said when he put her lotion away.

“I love you, too. Go on, lay down. Get comfy. You get a complimentary foot massage.”

Rose giggled and tugged the sheets down. She crawled into bed and rearranged the many pillows around her until she was as comfortable as possible. James then knelt beside her and began working his fingers into her swollen ankles.

Relief radiated through her feet, making her hum in pleasure. He rubbed and kneaded not only her feet, but the entire length of her legs until she felt like jelly from the waist down.

His touch made heat pool in her core until she groaned and arched her hips. He paused in his caress of her thigh.

“Do you… do you want me to touch you?” His voice was tentative, but his eyes had darkened.

“Please,” she breathed.

He grinned and continued his massage up her thigh until his fingers landed where she was throbbing for him.

It hardly took any time at all for his clever fingers to send her over the edge. He followed along a few seconds later.

Rose breathed deeply as her body sank into the mattress. James curled up beside her a few moments later after he changed into clean pants. He tugged the sheets up to their chests and nuzzled into her neck.

“I didn’t intend for that to get sexy,” he mumbled. “But that was lovely.”

“Mhm. Sorry we haven’t made love in a while.”

“We made love last week,” he said.

“You know what I mean. Like actual intercourse, with you inside me.”

“I don’t care about that,” James said. “Wait, no, I do care because I love being inside you. What I meant was it doesn’t bother me that we can’t make love like we usually do. We’re doing what works best for us in our situation, and we’re still finding ways to make each other feel good while sharing intimate moments together.”

“You’re such a smooth talker,” Rose teased, even as her heart swelled with happiness. “When you’re not being an utter dork, that is.”

“Oi!” James stuck his tongue out at her, but they both dissolved into laughter.

“I was thinking about something earlier,” Rose said after a few minutes of silence. “Before you sidetracked me.” James preened beside her. “And I think you should take the girls out, just the three of you.”

“What do you mean?” he asked, frowning.

“The last daddy-daughter day you had with them was when you went and got the Christmas tree. We’ve been trying to do things as a family, but it’s getting to be too exhausting for me,” Rose said. “And it’s only gonna get worse. I constantly need to sit down and rest, and I hate needing to find a loo every hour. I feel guilty that we have to come home after a couple of hours out.”

“It’s fine,” he assured.

But Rose shook her head. “The kids have been restless. So are you. I know you say you’re fine, but I can tell you’re itching to get out of the house more often. Don’t feel bad, James. Honestly, it’s okay. But I think it’ll be good for the three of you to spend an entire day out. Maybe take ‘em to a museum or a theater show or something.”

James sighed. “What if you need me when I’m out with them?”

“If it would make you feel better, I’ll have Mum or Dad come and stay with me,” Rose said. “Think about it, love. This might be your last chance to spend some quality time with them before two newborns take over our lives.”

“Yeah, you’re probably right,” he admitted.

“I’m always right,” she teased.

“Only ‘cos you’re pregnant,” he said sweetly.

“Oi!”

James took smack with a chuckle, then he wrapped his arms around her and gave her a squeeze as he pressed an over-the-top kiss to her cheek.

“I’ll see if they want to spend the day out with their old dad next weekend,” he promised.

Ainsley and Sianin did indeed want to spend a day with their father. Their huge, excited smiles made him feel guilty that he hadn’t tried to coordinate something with them sooner.

The night before James’s day out with the girls, however, Rose awoke in the middle of the night with back pain. Her hips and back had been aching for weeks, but the pain she currently felt was different, yet familiar, and she knew she was starting labor.

She wriggled around until she was able to get enough leverage to sit up, and she bit her lip as her back spasmed again and a slow, rolling cramp rippled through her uterus. She began counting, and made it to twenty-eight before the cramp finally subsided.

“You just had to pick today to want to begin your debut, eh girls?” she whispered, rubbing her hand across her tight belly. “Well. Daddy has plans with your sisters. Do you think you two can hang out with Mummy ‘til they get back this afternoon?”

Rose pushed herself out of bed and waddled to the loo, speaking quietly to the babies inside of her as she did so.

Her back felt too sore to get back into bed, but Rose was still exhausted and she knew she should try to get some more sleep. So she walked down the hall and into the living room to lower herself into the cushy recliner that relieved some of the pressure at the base of her spine.

“Okay, girls, d’you think you can let Mummy get more sleep?” she murmured, resting her head back and closing her eyes. “I’m gonna need it.”

Unbidden, her last labor experience popped into her memory, and her heart quickened in response. She’d been trying really hard to ignore how painful and traumatic Sianin’s labor and delivery had been, but now that she was faced with the imminent arrival of her twins, she couldn’t ignore it any longer.

It’ll be worth it, though, she told herself firmly. Just to see our babies will make it all worth it. I’ll be able to hold them and cuddle them. And James will, too.

She smiled to herself at the mental picture of her husband cradling two little bundles to his chest. She wasn’t sure how he managed it, but he grew infinitely more attractive whenever he held one of their kids. Her heart did a funny somersault as her mind’s eye showed her a picture of James with Ainsley and Sianin in his lap as well as their newborns.

James is so excited to be a daddy again. I can do this for him. I have to. We wanted another child for so long… I knew this was the tradeoff.

She continued her mental pep talk until her uterus tightened in another contraction.

Eventually, she was able to fall back to sleep. She slept in fits, awaking every time a new contraction hit. However, they were fairly moderate for the time being, so she was able to fall asleep relatively quickly when they subsided.

She awoke completely when the girls got up.

“Why are you sleeping out here?”

Rose opened her eyes and saw Sianin standing beside the recliner. Her hair was mussed and her eyes were bleary and crusty with sleep. Rose’s heart throbbed with love for her child.

“My back was a little sore,” she answered, reaching out to carefully untangle Sianin’s hair. “Laying down in bed wasn’t comfy. I came out here so I wouldn’t disturb Daddy.”

“Okay,” Sianin said through a yawn. “I’m hungry.”

“I’ll make breakfast in a few minutes,” Rose said. “I need the loo, first.”

Rose pushed herself to her feet, then she reached out and invited Sianin in for a hug.

“Love you,” she whispered, leaning down to press a kiss to her daughter’s hair.

“A baby kicked me,” Sianin grumbled, leaning her head away from Rose’s belly.

Rose laughed. “Well, we won’t have to worry about that soon enough.” Very soon. “Right, Mummy has to wee. I’ll be back.”

She released Sianin, then made her way down the hallway and to their bedroom. James was dead asleep. He was sprawled across the middle of the mattress, as though he’d tried to roll up against her in his sleep and only found empty sheets.

After using the loo, she stepped up to the bed and sat down on the edge. James grunted as the mattress dipped, and he moved towards the disturbance. He opened his eyes, and Rose smiled as she watched him blink a few times to clear his vision.

“Good morning sleepyhead,” she murmured, stroking her fingers through his hair.

He smiled at her and hummed at her touch. “Mornin’.” He then leaned in and pressed a kiss to either side of her huge belly. “Mornin’ girls. I hope you let Mummy sleep well last night.”

“Not exactly,” Rose answered. She waited until James looked up at her before she said, “I’ve started labor. Been having contractions all night.”

He stared unblinkingly at her for a few seconds, then he sat bolt upright.

“How do you feel? Have the contractions been awful? Why didn’t you wake me?” He placed his hands on her belly and palpated gently. What he was looking for, she had no idea, but it was endearing nevertheless, so she just smiled indulgently at him.

“I’m not gonna wake you just so you can watch me have a thirty-second contraction every thirty minutes,” she said dryly. “I feel fine for now. They haven’t been too bad yet. I think…” She paused her sentence to get James’s attention back on her instead of her stomach. She covered his hand and squeezed. “James, you’ve got a fun day planned with Ainsley and Sianin today.”

“Oh, bugger,” he muttered.

“I think you should still go out with them,” Rose said quickly.

“Absolutely not,” he said, shaking his head. “I need to be here with you.”

“James, love, please.” She brought his hand to her lips for a kiss. “The girls have been looking forward to this day with you all week. Besides, my mum is coming to spend the day with me, remember? Oh, that reminds me. I should tell Mum to pack suitcases so she can stay here with Robert and the girls…”

“I’ll take the kids out later,” he said. “I should stay here with you.”

“This is going to disappoint them,” Rose argued. “Labor takes hours, James. I started feeling contractions at three o’clock this morning. They’re still thirty minutes apart. We have plenty of time, love. I promise you, you’ll be able to spend the day with Ainsley and Sianin and not miss a thing.”

“I’d miss a few contractions,” he grumbled.

Rose snorted. “How exciting. But the science museum is even more exciting.”

James sighed. “What if you’re wrong? What if your labor progresses quickly and I miss out on the birth of our daughters? I want to be there to welcome them into the world, and I need to be here for you, love.”

Rose’s eyes prickled with the devotion and sincerity in his voice. She swallowed around the lump in her throat and leaned forward to press her lips to his. When she pulled back, she kept her forehead pressed to his and said, “I know you want that. I want that too. But please believe me, James. You have time. You won’t miss their birth. Trust me.”

He was silent for half a minute, then he exhaled softly. “Okay. Yeah, okay. I trust you. But please call—”

“I’ll call you if anything changes,” she assured, pressing another kiss to his lips.

He cradled the back of her head in his palm as he deepened the kiss. She hummed against his lips as gentle pleasure buzzed through her the longer the kiss went on.

“You should get up,” Rose whispered, breaking the kiss. “And I promised Sianin I’d start breakfast after I wee’d.”

“Hmm, but kissing you is so nice,” he said, catching her lips between his again.

She giggled against his mouth, then pushed at his shoulders.

“Go on, get a shower,” she said, standing up from the bed. “I’ll have breakfast and coffee for you when you’re done.”

When she made it to the bedroom door, James called out to her. She turned and saw him walking up to her with a giddy grin on his face.

“Our babies are coming,” he giggled.

“Yeah they are. I can’t wait.”

With a parting smile, Rose turned to get the kids ready for the day.

<-- Ch 14 | Ch 16 -->

#doctorroseprompts #ficandchips #dwfic #doctor who #ten x rose #ten x rose au #soulmates #soulmatea au #james x rose #kid fic #pregnancy #my fic #and babies make five and six #perfectly matched verse

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jinkisbelly · 6 years

Text

Bring Us Home - Epilogue

Part 1 [x], Part 2 [x], Part 3 [x], Part 4 [x] Part 5 [x] Part 6 [x] Part 7 [x] Part 8 [x], Part 9[x], Part 10 [x] Part 11 [x] Part 12 [x] Part 13 [x] Part 14 [x] Part 15 [x]

Pairing: Jongyu

Rating: Pg

W/c: 3k. Whole story, about 42k

Summary: Through it all, they only wanted happiness and their family. Finally, they believed themselves to have found it, even if it was different than they had originally planned.

Jinki tugged Jonghyun back against him and smiled warmly when the smaller man wiggled a little to get comfy beside him. “What do you think the odds are in being able to sleep without a sprawling two-year-old tonight are?”

Jonghyun hummed, eyes already beginning to fall asleep. “Pretty slim.”

He softly moved his hand over Jonghyun’s tummy, nose against the base of his neck for a moment before he shifted so it was in his hair. The softness of the strands and the scent of him calming Jinki in a way, luring sleep over him. “I’ve been thinking.”

“About?”

“I think I’m ready for another.” Came Jinki’s soft confession a moment later.

Jonghyun moved slowly and carefully as he turned, for he didn’t want to hit Jinki’s nose with his head as he moved. Once settled he looked at Jinki with big, vulnerable eyes. His voice was soft and unsure, rolling off his lips in a nervous breath. “Really?”

“We’ve always used to talk about having another child after Gwiboon, but then everything happened and I felt like I wasn’t safe enough to be around Gwi… let alone a new infant. I’ve worked really hard to get a grasp on things, to be a resemblance of the man you decided to have children with, and I’d like to believe I’m there. I.. I want another Jonghyun.”

“Are you ready to deal with it all?” Jinki’s face fell for a moment, but Jonghyun was quick to smile and cup his cheek gently. “I have no doubt that you can handle having another child Babe, but the process to get Gwi was hard on us both. I’m worried about whether it’ll be too hard for you this time around with the added.. Symptoms.”

“I don’t want my PTSD to be the reason we don’t even try to have another.” Jinki bit his bottom lip for a moment before stating. “If you really think it’s a bad idea…”

“I think it’s a great idea.” Jonghyun quickly stated, voice raising in volume for a moment in his slight panic. “I’ll contact the place tomorrow.”

When Jinki let out a deep breath it was like he had been holding it the entire conversation. He softly grabbed Jonghyun’s wrist and brought his palm over so he could kiss it. “I’m not sure how having a baby is going to interact with my disorder now that Gwiboon is a lot older than when it happened, but… thank you for having a little confidence in me.”

Jonghyun wiggled up to be able to kiss him gently, foreheads pressed together and he smiled with a little laugh. “I have so much confidence in you, Babe. You’re still the strongest person I know. There’s no one else I’d want to have another child with.”

“I’m really happy you want another one too.” Jinki’s smile was so bright and light. “I’ve been thinking about it since Gwiboon’s second birthday.”

“To think, sometime in the future we’ll have another.” Jonghyun laid his head against Jinki’s chest, arms wrapping around each other. “I miss Gwi being a baby. She’s growing so quickly Babe.”

“I know,” Jinki whispered, the sound of their ceiling fan clicking as it spun above them. “Before we know it, it’ll be time for preschool and then kindergarten.”

“You stop that right now, Mister,” Jonghyun grumbled cutely causing Jinki to laugh quietly. “I’m really proud of you Jinki.”

“For what?”

“This last year and some. You’ve worked so hard and I don’t tell you enough how proud I am of you.”

Jinki’s voice was caught in his throat as Jonghyun’s arms tightened around him. He pressed a kiss to Jonghyun’s hair, eyes fluttering closed. His voice cracked a little when he spoke. “What did I say about saying stuff like that?”

“It makes you emotional.” Came the man’s muffled voice, cheek squished against Jinki’s chest.

“Well stop it,” Jinki said with a little laugh. “I have a meeting tomorrow I don’t need puffy eyes.”

“Goodnight, I love you.”

Jinki hummed quietly, sleep already tugging at him. “Goodnight my love.”

They slept peacefully until about 3 am when they felt a little someone tugging on their blankets to be helped up. As always, Gwiboon curled up between them, taking up way more space than she should be able to.

----

17 months later

Jinki was ringing his hands over and over, his nerves increasing the more time they were waiting. Sungkyu was in her doctor’s appointment, waiting for the results of the pregnancy test to see if their embryo stuck. When Jonghyun’s own covered his the nervous tick stopped for a moment as he looked over at his husband. “Whatever happens, know we’ll get our other baby eventually.”

“I know.. I just-” Jinki closed his eyes as he took a deep breath, counting backward to ten to relax. “I just really want it to be this time. We waited almost five years for Gwiboon.”

Gently, Jonghyun pressed a kiss to Jinki’s cheek before laying his head on his shoulder, holding his hands between his own. “I have a really good feeling about this one.”

Just as he was going to comment, the doors were opened and the Doctor waved them in. “Come. Sungkyu thought you’d want to see this.”

Jonghyun and Jinki shared a look quickly before pushing off the bench. Gwiboon was at Grandma Kim’s, who had called them shortly before to check in as usual. As they followed the doctor they were led into the ultrasound room. Sungkyu smiled brightly as they came into view. She was comfy in the seat, shirt up a little to uncover her mid-drift, and her hands were clasped just under her chest. Jinki was the first to speak. “Does this mean that it stuck?”

“Why don’t we get started and see how the baby is doing hmm?” The Doctor softly suggested. At his words Jinki’s hand slipped down to curl around Jonghyun’s, feeling relieved when the man gave him little frequent squeezes. The gel was spread along her lower abdomen, a warning of it could be cold was given, and then after a few moments, the picture appeared. The picture wasn’t much, for the Baby wasn’t that far along yet, looking more like a lima bean than a human. “It seems your embryo stuck very nicely. She’s about 8 weeks along.”

Jonghyun quietly asked, “Can we.. get a few pictures please?”

“Of course.” The Doctor smiled as the gel was wiped off. “I’ll see you at your next visit, Sungkyu.” Then their attention fell on the two men almost in tears. “Congratulations.”

-----

Six months later

Getting the call that Sungkyu was in labor a month early had Jinki twisting his fingers into his shirt, foot shaking nervously the entire drive to the hospital. Gwiboon had been late, so much so that their surrogate had to be induced. The pregnancy for Haneul had been one without complications, and though Jonghyun had been told by the hospital staff that their son was healthy and the month shouldn’t cause many troubles, both of them were worried. It had been close to thirteen hours since they got the call, two since they had been asked to leave the room once she was in active labor. Jonghyun reached over, gently stopping him from twisting his fingers in his shirt, and squeezing his hand. His head was on Jinki’s shoulder, but it lifted to look up at him with a smile. “They are going to be okay.”

When Jinki smiled, he hoped it passed as comforting, “I know.”

But as usual, Jonghyun saw right through it, pressing a kiss to Jinki’s cheek. “Trust me, Babe.”

And then the door opened. There was a nurse coming toward them and in her arms was a small wiggly bundle. At once Jinki was standing, before freezing, looking between the nurse and Jonghyun. His husband laughed quietly, touching his lower back in comfort and support as he moved past him toward the nurse. The woman smiled, offering the newborn to Jonghyun. “6lbs, 7 oz. He’s healthy.”

“And Sungkyu?” Jinki quietly asked.

“She’s resting.” The nurse bowed her head. “Someone will come to take him from you for a few more tests. Until then, enjoy your time with your son.”

When she turned to leave Jinki hesitantly stepped beside him, hand lifting to oh so gently to touch the babe’s head. Jonghyun softly smiled, “You won’t hurt him, Babe.”

“I.. I know.” He breathed in deeply, exhaling as he felt the softness of Haneul’s head full of hair and the warm of him as he rubbed his cheek against his blanket. “He’s smaller than Gwiboon was.”

“He is.”

“Maybe he took after you.”

Jonghyun glared, “Hey.”

Jinki pressed a kiss to his temple, hand skimming off his back and around his waist, “I can’t wait to take him home.”

“Me either, Babe. Here, hold him for a moment.”

“I- Jonghyun,” But Haneul was being laid in his arms before he could protest more and instantly he relaxed. He mumbled as he ran a finger over Haneul’s softly curled fist. “So.. tiny.”

He chuckled deeply, “You already have mentioned that.”

“Bite me.”

“Can do.”

“Oh do shut up, Baby.” But the words were soft and without malice. Jinki found his way back to their prior seats, holding Haneul close and rubbing his cheek. Jonghyun returned to sit next to him, playing with the tiny foot that had escaped the swaddle of the blanket. There was still a little ink under his toes, making Jonghyun smile as he wiped it off with the wipes he always had on him since he had Gwiboon.

-----

Gwiboon looked up from her spot on the floor playing with her legos when she heard someone coming into the room. Once she was certain it was just her Daddy and her little brother, she resumed trying to fit the two pieces in her hands together. Well, that was until she noticed that Haneul was in her spot, curled up on her Daddy’s tummy as they laid on the couch. Frowning, she pushed up onto her feet and made her way over to the couch, gently touching his shoulder. His head turned, a soft smile on his face as he lifted his hand to run a hand over her hair. “Yes, Pumpkin?”

“He’s in my spot.”

“What, sweetie?”

“Hannie, he’s in my spot.”

“Oh.” Jinki smiled, a soft chuckle leaving his lips. “Can’t you share with your baby brother, Pumpkin?”

“No.” She pouted deeply. “That’s mine.”

“Climb up here then, be mindful of him.” Carefully she climbed up by his legs, moving to lay between him and the couch, and laying her head on his chest. “Are you sure you can’t share?”

“Yes.” She huffed, softly poking her brother’s ear. “He took it.”

Jinki kissed her hair, moving his right hand to hold Haneul and shifting his left to wrap around Gwiboon. Soon both children were asleep, and even as Jonghyun stepped into the room from his shower, neither woke up. He smiled from the back of the armchair he was leaning onto, “Do you need me to take one of them?”

“No,” Jinki smiled, looking completely relaxed. “I’m very content.”

Careful not to wake the two kids up Jonghyun walked over and gently kissed Jinki, fingers skimming over his jaw as he moved just a little to better accommodate him. “I’ll go start dinner. I love you.”

“I love you too Baby.”

-----

Everything around him was blurred, fuzzy around the edges, and he couldn’t pinpoint a focal point. The television was on, but the sound from it was distant as if it was a few rooms away and not a just a couple of feet from him. He had to find Gwiboon. She was gone, he didn’t know where she was, but they had her. They had to have her. He heard quick footsteps approaching, but he didn’t acknowledge them. He had to find Gwiboon.

-----

“Daddy I’m right here.”

Jonghyun looked between Gwiboon and Jinki and his heart broke. In a quick movement, he grabbed Gwiboon as she rushed toward her Daddy, taking her into her room quickly. He kissed her hair, smiling comfortingly. “Stay here, Baby. I’ll be back.”

“What’s wrong with Daddy?” She softly asked, tears forming in her little eyes.

“He’s sick Baby. I have to go help him, okay?” She nodded quietly, sniffling, before climbing into her bed and hugging her stuffed otter to her chest. He knew another episode would occur, of course, it was, even with their schedule and his treatment plan, it wasn’t a cure. He had just hoped it never happened until they had explained things to Gwiboon, but some things, like many in their lives as of recent, were out of their control. No matter how much they wished them to be.

-----

After some time Jinki relaxed. He was sitting on the couch, head in his hands, as his fingers flexed around his glass of water Jonghyun had brought him. “Take all the time you need, Babe. I have to go check on Gwiboon. She saw you.”

Jinki rose his hand, eyes wide and panicked, but his voice was so soft and weak. “She… witnessed my episode?”

“Oh Sweet.” Jonghyun cupped his cheek, thumb moving to wipe the tear that had fallen. “You couldn’t have helped it.”

His eyes fluttered shut, a deep breath taken as he leaned into the touch before his eyes opened again. “I think it’s time.”

“Time?”

“To tell her. To explain.” Jinki shook his head, pushing up from the couch by his hands on his knees. “She must be terrified of me.”

“Jinki that’s not-” But Jinki looked at him with such sad eyes and it stopped Jonghyun’s voice in his tracks. He disappeared down the hall. After a few moments, Jonghyun followed, to find Jinki stopped in front of Gwiboon’s bedroom door. “I can do this if you feel it’s too difficult for you.”

“It must come from me.” Jinki huffed quietly, before stepping into the room. Gwiboon looked up from the floor, her avengers action figures falling from where she held them. “Pumpkin, can Daddy speak with you?”

“Are you better Daddy?”

He flashed a little smile, nervous. “For now. Will you come sit with me on the bed?”

She stood up, placing her toys on the floor and climbed up beside him. “Why are you sick?”

“That’s a long story Pumpkin, but it’s time for you to know it, if you wish.” When she smiled up at him, his heart ached slightly and he looked over to where he knew Jonghyun to be. He got a smile in return and it was the courage he needed to continue. Looking back at Gwiboon, he’s reminded by the way she’s gazing up at him and the way she sits is so much like Jonghyun. “When you were littler something bad happened to Daddy. It gave me the scar on my tummy and scars in my head too.”

“In your head?”

“Yes, Pumpkin. Sometimes I’m reminded of that time and my mind takes me back. It takes me a minute to get back to the present fully.” He wets his lips, hands shaking slightly. “I’m really sorry I scared you earlier Sweetie.”

“M’fine.” She mumbled, eyes lowering.

“No, it’s not Pumpkin. I’m your Father. You should never be afraid of me.” He held out his hand, palm up, and warmth filled him as both of hers rested there, one curling around his thumb. “I love you, Gwi. You know that, right?”

“I do.” She smiled then, pigtails moving softly against her shoulders. “What happened Daddy?”

The question is such a simple one, but it makes Jinki’s heart drop. He thought he was prepared to tell her, but now with the opportunity to do just that, he couldn’t figure out how to. Jonghyun had stepped further into the room, fully prepared to take over now, but softly Jinki lifts his hand. He was right. It had to come from him. “You’ll have to forgive me Pumpkin, this is a little hard for me.”

She scoots over then, keeping his hand in her lap, and Jinki wonders how much the young girl had seen with how much she resembled Jonghyun comforting him. “It’s okay Daddy. You can go slow.”

With a shuddered breath he curses softly in his mind, knowing he’s failing to keep his emotions in check. “You were just a baby. I had taken you to go grocery shopping and some bad men took us away. They demanded your Papa to do some things to get us back. In the end, I was hurt really badly protecting you and your Papa.”

He didn’t know he was crying until she was climbing into his lap, wrapping her arms around his neck and softly saying, “Love you, Daddy,” And the soft sob left his lips.

He felt the bed dip and Jonghyun’s arms embracing them. Jinki received a kiss to his hair and a softly whispered, “You did well.” Too quiet for their daughter to hear.

----

They would never have their exact lives back again, they knew, but this life wasn’t so bad. Their little girl would start Kindergarten in a few weeks, just before her fifth birthday. Haneul would be one come December, their little baby growing way too quickly for either of their likings. Jinki still had his moments, triggers slipping through, but he worked hard to have the control he had over his mental illness. They understood it wouldn’t and couldn’t be cured, but it was manageable, and Jinki knew now that no matter what he’d always have Jonghyun on his side.

The sun was low in the sky, Gwiboon jumping into the pool and giggling each time filled the calm air with glee. Jinki was holding Haneul, laughing every so often when the babe squealed each time his head was dipped back into the water. “Do you like that, Sweetie?”

Haneul smacked his hands on the water, splashing Jinki in the face softly. Jonghyun slowly shifted his gaze to the other half of his family from Gwiboon. He fondly looked at the way Jinki laughed as Haneul wiggled his chubby legs. Today was the first-day Jinki was swimming without a shirt on, his scar clearing visible on his abdomen. Jonghyun had almost cried seeing him walk out without one on. It was then Jinki’s gaze met his own, a smile curving on his lips. “Are you happy, Babe?”

Seeing the way Jinki’s face softened, eyes forming crescents as his smile widened. “I am, Baby. I am.”

That’s all that mattered. They found happiness through everything and they still had each other. That’s what was most important.

#jongyu #onjong #shinee #jonghyun #onew #jinki #bring us home au

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nitaescence · 6 years

Text

The Return of Superman

Pairing : Husband&Dad!Taehyung x Wife&Mom!Reader ft. Dad!Hoseok

Genre : Family!AU

Word Count : 5.5 k

Author’s Note -

*…* : sentences edited on the final images.

Bold :cameras’ position in the house or outside.

Italics :dialogues.

/…/ : Time.

(…) : Sound effects.

[…] : camera movements

This is an alternative follow-up to Taehyung’s TROS scenario

Request -

Six Children

Building

/7:52 AM/

*The sun is up very early this January morning*

[Living-room] The house is still plunged in the dark.

*Let's see what the Kim family is up to ?*

Twins bedroom

[Tilt over the two beds] *Sound asleep*

Tae Sook's Bedroom

[zoom on his face] *He sleeps with his mouth open* (laughs)

Triplets' Bedroom

[freeze frame on the three cradles] *The babies are still in a deep slumber* (cooing)

*The house remains quiet*

Living-room

[zoom] *But not for a long time* Some movements can be seen in one corner. *Who is it?*

The unknown person sits up and rubs their face and hair. They get up and go to pull on the curtains. Light sun rays instantly illuminates the room. [The camera follows the person's face] *Grandmother is up first!* (amazement)

*She's arrived yesterday*

•Flashback to the day before•

*She came to visit her son's family. [Footage of her arrival. Her grandsons seem very happy to see her.] *The mother and daughter in law are very close to each other* [She's shown cooing to the newborn triplets] *This was also her first time seeing the triplets after their birth* (amazement)

•End of flashback•

[The different cameras film her as she tidies up the couch she's slept on]

She then walks away to wash in the bathroom.

Triplets' Bedroom

[shot on the cradles] One of the tiny bodies stirs up and small whines are heard *One of the triplets' has awaken* (cooing)

Corridor

[high angle shot of one door being opened] Someone is seen plodding along towards the triplets' bedroom *Dad is awake*

Triplets' Bedroom

[Taehyung is filmed entering and walking towards the now crying baby] He holds his child in his arm. [zoom on his little face] *Two-month-old Su Yeong is awake* (cooing) Tae Hyung kisses his cheek and leans him against his chest as he checks on his daughters to see if they've been awaken. He goes out of the room.

Corridor

[high angle shot] At the same moment, Tae Hyung's mother comes out of the bathroom and instantly smiles when she sees her youngest grandson.

“Oh! Is he awake?” she whispers, leaning forward so as to peck Su Yeong's cheek.

“Hmm.” smiles Tae Hyung, “'Hello Grandma' '” he adds with a raspy voice, gently waving his son's hand.

“I'll go make breakfast.” informs his mother.

[Tae Hyung's mother walks away and Tae Hyung enters the bathroom]

Bathroom

[high angle shot] He lays his baby on the changing table and starts cleaning him. Su Yeong is whining when he's laid down and threatens to burst into tears while Tae Hyung tries to change him as quickly as he can.

“Su Yeong-ah, wait a little bit. We'll go feed you in a moment, don't cry.”

Tae Hyung puts his pajama back on and carries him in his arms before exiting.

Kitchen

[Bridging shot] Tae Hyung's mother has already made several pots to heat on the stove with different dish in them and also has thought of heating the babies' formula. *Grandma is very active* Tae Hyung shortly appears with Su Yeong and joins her. Su Yeong's little cries grows louder as he's getting hungry. Tae Hyung's mother tries to soothe him while her son makes sure the milk isn't too hot for him to drink.

“You're hungry, sweetheart?” She cooes, “Look! Dad is about to give you food. There's no need to cry.”

“Here.” Tae Hyung brings the bottle to Su Yeong's tiny mouth and the latter starts to suck in eagerly. “Why are you being so fussy this morning?” wonders Tae Hyung as he goes to sit down on the couch.

“He reminds me of someone...” reveals his mother as she stirs the food in the pots.

“No way, I wasn't this cranky when I was his age.” counters Tae Hyung.

“When it came to food, you'd have done anything and also would have a fit if no one fed you.”

“You must confuse me with your other son...” chuckles Tae Hyung, looking back down at Su Yeong as his mother shakes her head.

Living-room

[Tilt] Tae Hyung gently rocks his body from side to side to put Su Yeong to sleep while his mother is setting food on the table *Grandmother entirely takes care of breakfast* (amazement)

[zoom on small naked legs/ tilt towards the child's face] *Twenty-month-old Tae Sook is awake* (cooing) The little boy is seen waddling with a pacifier in his mouth, trailing his soft toy behind him.

“Dad...” He says, drawling his morning voice that catches Tae Hyung's attention.

“Oh! Hi. Did you sleep well?”

Tae Sook leans on his father's leg, lazily hugging one arm around it and rubs his eye as he notices his grandmother in the kitchen who is waving at him.

“Go kiss your grandmother.” softly says Tae Hyung and his son obeys, shuffling towards the old woman who's crouching with her arms open to hug the boy.

[zoom on Tae Sook's tired face] *Good morning, Grandma'* (cooing)

[High angle shot of Tae Hyung carefully lying his sleeping baby son on the blankets previously settled in one corner of the living-room] He walks away and goes to hug Tae Sook. Tae Hyung's mother throws satisfied glances at them.

Suddenly another baby's cry is heard and Tae Hyung's starts leaning forward, waiting for his son to get down from his lap but the latter remains still. “Tae Sook-ah, wait a second I need to go get your sister.” He explains but his son doesn't budge. (laughs) “Come on, I'll be right back.”

He whines when Tae Hyung forces him out of his embrace, frowning a little. He eventually stands up and sits down, sulking with a pout.

Triplets' room

Tae Hyung's enters the room and goes to calm his crying daughter. [High angle shot ] Tae Hyung leans over her crib and holds her in his arms. *2-month-old Ye Rim is awake* (cooing) Her father kisses her and notice his other daughter who's also awake but quiet, looking in the darkness with her big brown orbs. *Her sister, Ye Rin is also awake*

“Ye Rin-ah, I'll come back to you in a bit.” informs Tae Hyung quickly walking out to clean Ye Rim.

Bathroom

[Bridging shot/High angle Shot]Tae Hyung nimbly changes her and walks to the kitchen to give Ye Rim to his mother.

Kitchen

[Tilt] She's finished preparing breakfast and is now sat on one of the chairs.

“Can you feed her? I need to go get Ye Rin too.”

She takes her granddaughter and watches her son jogging back to return to his second daughter.

Bathroom

[Bridging shot/High angle Shot] He quickly changes her and comes back again to the kitchen to join his mother.

Kitchen

[Bridging shot/Tilt] The two adults are busy feeding the young girls.

“Tae Sook-ah,” says Tae Hyung looking at his son sprawled out on the couch. “Come eat.”

[Cameras film Tae Sook walking near the table] Tae Hyung pushes the chair next to him with his foot and watches his son climbs onto it.

“Say thank you for the food and eat.” Tae Sook quickly bows his head and shoves a big spoon of food in his mouth. *Eats a big bite* (laughs)

[zoom on the grandmother's smiling face] “You eat so well.” She praises him and he looks back at her.

“It's good, right?” Inquires Tae Hyung looking fondly at his son.

“Is the bean paste soup good?” Continues his grandmother and the little boy nods his head once before joining his fingers inside his bowl to pick up in it.

[Shot of his hand] *Picks the curled mallow with his hand*

[Shot of Tae Hyung] “Tae Sook-ah? Do you like curled mallow?”

Tae Sook is focused on his food, bringing several full spoons inside his mouth and helps the food going inside with a push of his small hand as Tae Hyung's pats his head.

“Dirty.” Mumbles the one-year-old boy, lifting his hand in the air towards his father.

“Let me clean for you.” Tae Hyung takes the tissue handed by his mother and nimbly wipes Tae Sook's fingers with one hand.

The little boy lifts his bowl and brings it to his face to drink the soup. *Gulp* *Nothing's left* (laughs)

/9:37 AM/

Kitchen

[Bridging shot/ zoom on Tae Hyung's back] He's actively cleaning all the dirty plates *Dad is busy washing dishes*

[Twins' eating] *The four-year-old twins have waken up too in the meantime and are now eating their breakfast* They both sat on one side of the table in order to be able to watch the cartoons broadcasted on the T.V.

Living-room

The triplets are all asleep on the blankets, Tae Hyung's mother is sat on the couch and Tae Sook's at her feet on the baby mattress with some toys around him.

[Editing of the three boys' faces next to each other] *They look so focused* (laughs)

Kitchen

[Tilt on Tae Hyung's turning the water off] He goes to check on the twins and pours water for them in their glasses. As he does so, Min Hyuk's head slightly moves, when his father's arm interferes with his vision, so as not to miss any bits from the cartoon *Dad you're blocking me* (laughs)

[Shot of the grandmother] “Tae Hyung-ah, shouldn't Y/n be awake by now?” she inquires looking at her son.

[Shot of Tae Hyung] Tae Hyung's looks at the clock hanging in the kitchen, “I'll go see her.”

Living-room

[Shot of Tae Hyung walking away/ Tae Sook looks at him for a second and looks back at the T.V]

Parents' Bedroom

[Shot of Y/n lying under thick covers] *The room is pitch dark* The door opens and Tae Hyung walks inside. He sits next to her and leans forward to whisper in her ear. He leans back and rubs her over the blankets. She eventually stretches her arms.

“What time is it?” She whispers

“Almost 10.”

She strokes his arm on which he's leaning on to support himself with and pulls on it for him to hug her. *affectionate couple* (cooing) They kiss and he leans back.

“I'll put your breakfast on the table.”

[shot of Tae Hyung exiting the room]

Kitchen

[Bridging shot/Tilt Shot of Y/n eating her breakfast while checking her phone]

Living-room

[Shot of Tae Hyung and his mother still watching the T.V with Tae Sook who's lying on his father's chest]

Tae Sook gradually slides downwards.

“What are you doing?” asks Tae Hyung watching him with curious eyes, catching his wife's and his mother's attention.

Once on the mattress, Tae Sook bends forward and looks back at his father with his head in between his legs ans starts laughing. *Grinning*

“Are you stretching ? Do you see me upside down?”

Tae Sook stands up and turns around. He takes his father's hand in his and pulls on it.

“What is it?” inquires Tae Hyung, without budging resulting in his son whining.

“He wants you to stand up.” Comments his mother and pushes her son's back.

Tae Hyung kneels down and Tae Sook walks around him, pressing on his backside. Tae Hyung lies down on his front and Tae Sook immediately goes to sit on him, sporting a large smile. He looks at his mother and she smiles back, laughing at her husband's weird face when their son starts bouncing on him.

*Tae Sook is helping Dad with his morning exercise* Tae Sook has fun while Tae Hyung is whining. The young boy then leans forward to look into his father's eyes.

“Dad.Airplane.”

“Airplane? I have no energy right now.”

“Huh?”

“I'm tired.”

Tae Sook starts bouncing again to foster his father but when Y/n stands up and walks towards her bedroom, he follows her suit, moving very quickly his little lambs, while Tae Hyung turns on his back, exhaling loudly under the amused gaze of his mother. ¨*Exhausted*

Children playroom

[High angle shot of Y/n and Tae Sook entering the room in which the twins are busy playing on their own]

She crouches down and crawls towards Min Jun. She kisses his cheek and Tae Sook holds in front of her face one of the toys he's found on the floor.

“Is it for me?” She smiles to him, he grins back and looks for another one to gived her.

“Min Jun-ih...” she drawls, pulling her son on her folded legs and the boy's sits down without turning a hair, his eyes fixed on his toy cars.

“Are you going to leave us?” he inquire in a small voice.

“What?”

“Are you going to leave us?”

“Yes. So I need you, you and your brother to behave and act nicely with your father and grandmother, all right? Min Hyuk-ih?”

The oldest turns his head towards his mother and she beckons him to join her. He walks with his belly sticking out and sits down next to Y/n.

“You promise me to be kind to Dad?” He nods twice.

“Will the babies stay?” He asks

“Yes, that's why your grandmother came. To help him with all of you since I'll be absent.”

“I don't want you to go.” Min Jun's mouth turns upside down as he nuzzles his head in her chest. “Stay here. Stay with us.”

She pouts, kisses him once again and hugs the twins tightly. When Tae Sook turns around and sees them embracing, he lets go of all his toys and lifts his arms in the air, whining a little to show he wants to be hugged too by his mother. *I want love too* (laughs)

She smiles to him and lets go of the twins to take him in her arms.

Living-room

[Bridging shot/Tilt Shot of Y/n coming out of the corridor and walking towards the babies who've awaken, fed and now put back to sleep ] *She gets ready to go out*

[High angle shot] Fully dressed with her coat hanging on her arm, she crouches in front of the small bed made of blankets in which Su Yeong and Ye Rim lie while Tae Hyung's busy wiping the floor with one hand and holding sleepy Ye Rin with the other.

*Y/n goes came to say good-bye to the triplets* She puts the thick fabric next to her and gently leans forward to kiss her children.

She nuzzles her nose in they clothes. *She smells the scent she'll miss for 48 hours* She leans back and supports her body over them, gazing at them with fond eyes and a big smile *She takes a look at their faces*

She doesn't want to wake them up and stands up taking her coat with a slight frown on her face. *Mom looks upset*

[Tilt] Tae Hyung has put the flat mop back to its place and been watching her silently from afar. She puts her coat on and turns around towards her husband, who's smiling at her sight. She hides her face in her hands and a small whimper coming from her is heard. Tae Hyung naturally goes to her and pulls her so as to lean her head against his chest. *Mom hasn't gotten used to be apart from her little ones* (cooing)

“People will think that you're leaving for several weeks,” whispers Tae Hyung in her ear. (laughs) “Don't cry.” He kisses the top of her head.

She leans back and softly kisses Ye Rin.

Entrance Door

High angle shot] Y/n is wiping her tears and goes to fetch her bags while Tae Hyung has gone to lie Ye Rin next to her brother and sister. *48 hours seem long after looking at her children's face* Her husband walks towards her and hugs her to sooth her. They part after some time.

“Where is your mom?”

“With the boys.”

Tae Hyung walks backwards to push open the door of the children playroom and calls for his mother, telling her Y/n is leaving.

[shot of the grandmother] She stands up and goes to say good-bye to her daughter in law.

“Why are you crying?” She asks after noticing Y/n reddened nose and hearing her sniffling.

“Oh, it's nothing.” Y/n assures her and they take each other in their arms.

Tae Hyung goes to open the door for his wife and they kiss one last time.

“Do a good job.” She tells him.

“Will do. Don't worry.”

[Shot of the babies] *The triplets didn't even get to see their mother leave*

[Bridging shot] *Mom has left and another 48 hours with Dad has begun*

“Mom, I'll take a quick shower.”

“You can go. I'll play with them.”

Bathroom

[High angle shot] Tae Hyung undresses himself and goes to cover the camera at the corner with a towel *He's getting ready to wash up*

Living-room

[Tilt] The three boys are gathered around their grandmother while the triplets are still sleeping on the side.

“Okay, we're going to play a guessing game.” Tae Hyung's mother suddenly says, gathering cards in her hands. She places them on her forehead to catch her grandchildren's attention.

“What's this?” She asks, “Tell me what this is.” [Shot of the card] *Rice cake* “If you get it right i'll give you a treat.”

[Shot of Tae Sook] Only Tae Sook lifts his head. “Rice cake.” He mumbles getting down of the couch.

“Oh! Tae Sook-ah! What did you say? What is it?” The woman asks again not sure of what she's heard.

“Rice cake.” Repeats Tae Sook, looking at her.

Her eyes widen and so does her smile.

“You got it right!” *So amazing* (amazement)

“Okay now, what is it? What is that?” She changes the cards and looks at the boys.

“Grapefruit.” answers Min Hyuk, who's now paying attention to her. His grandmother shows once again her surprise and keeps changing the cards. “Mermaid. Robot. Dinosaur.”

“Good job Min Hyuk! How does a dinosaur walk?” She asks him and he instantly stand up on his feet to imitate one. [Shot of Min Hyuk] *Dinosaur Min Hyuk has appeared* The woman giggles, delighted and proceed on showing more cards.

Corridor

[High angle shot] *Tae Hyung opens the bathroom door* He walks back to the living-room, smiling when he sees his family and heads straight to the kitchen to make lunch.

Kitchen

[Medium shot of Tae Hyung] Tae Hyung's put a pot filled with water on a stove and lights a match. *Chef Kim makes noodles.* (amazement)

Min Jun is seen walking towards him and tries to take a glance at what his father is doing.

“What are you doing?”

“Be careful. Wait! Its hot.” Tae Hyung's takes his son away from the fire.

“Do you need help?” asks his mother from afar.

“Oh my god. Oh my god.” mumbles Tae Hung to himself *water boils over* He takes a tissue to wipe the water, making sure it doesn't come in contact with the fire. “No, I'm good.”

A while later, all three boys are sat around the table to eat their meal. *Radish water kimchi noodles are served* (amazement) *Will his hard work prove to taste good?*

The boys start to dig in under the content smiles of their father and grandmother. *Dad is happy just watching his kids eat*

The lunch goes on calmly and all the plates end up emptied.

Living-room

[Bridging shot] Tae Hyung has brought some blankets and arranged them over the mattresses so as to make the boys sleep on them.

*It's nap time after eating lunch*

His mother takes care of putting Tae Sook to sleep, lying next to him. Tae Hyung pats the twins, a small smile on his lips. Suddenly, Tae Sook's head lifts up and he starts looking around.

“What is it?” asks his grandmother as Tae Hyung's eyes look up to watch his son.

Tae Sook mumbles some words unintelligible to her.

“He's looking for his soft toy.” Drawls Tae Hyung while handing the fluffy toy he's located lying somewhere near the triplets and gives it to his son.

[Several shots of the children sleeping] *They had a great time playing* *They look like angels when they're asleep* *What pleasant dreams are they having now?*

•Second day•

Building

/03:31 PM/

*What does the Kim Family have planned for today*

Living-room

[Tilt] Tae Hyung's is finishing washing some dishes while the twins are calmly watching cartoons on T.V when the intercom suddenly rings in the house.

The twins face lift up toward the device at the same time as Tae Hyung's walking toward them “Oh! They're here.”

[Pan] The twins look at him clueless and watch him go answer the door. *Who is it?*

[Tilt] Tae Hyung's walking towards the entrance door. He opens the door and greets his new guests with a big smile on his face.

*Tae Hyung's bandmate Jung Ho Seok has come visit with his children*.

“Hi!” exclaims Tae Hyung looking down at Ho Seok's three boys who look back up at him with shy smiles. “Eun Min-ah, you've grown so much!” Tae Hyung runs his finger on the little girl's face, carried by Ho Seok.

“Can I come in?” asks Ho Seok when he notices one of the twins who's came next to Tae Hyung and is looking at him with curious eyes. He slightly nods his head. *Min Jun gave his permission*

Ho Seok and his family enter the house after getting rid of their shoes.

“Min Hyuk-ih, come say hi.” Says Tae Hyung walking back in the living-room. His son looks at him and slowly stands up when he sees the newcomers.

“Hi, Min Hyuk! Wow, you look so big now.” exclaims Ho Seok, settling Eun Min on the couch next to him.

“Do you know who they are?” inquires Tae Hyung looking down at his twins expectantly.

“Eun Min. Jin Un. Seon Ho. Yu Cheon.” *8-month-old, Two years old, Three years old and Four years old* Ho Seok enumerates smiling to the twins. (amazement)

*The children stare back at each other awkwardly* (laughs)

“Your boys are all grown up now.” Comments Ho Seok, taking his daughter's coat off.

Ho Seok's sons seem to be still a little shy as they stay close to their father. “Say hi to your big brothers. This is Min Hyuk, Min Jun and... where's Tae Sook?”

“Here.” answers Tae Hyung turning around to reveal his sleeping son settled in a baby carrier and in a deep slumber. *I've been here the whole time, uncle!*

“I didn't even noticed him!” laughs Ho Seok, bringing one hand to his mouth.

*Min Jun approaches Seon Ho first* He gently pulls on the younger boy's hand but the latter walks away. *Let's play together later*

Corridor

Min Hyuk runs followed by Yu Cheon so as to show him his bedroom and playroom. *Min Hyuk shows his house to Yu Cheon* They're soon followed by Seon Ho, Jin Un and Min Jun.

Living-room

“Where are the triplets? I need to see them!” asks Ho Seok, all smiley while Tae Hyung is holding and cooing at Eun Mi.

“They're sleeping in their room. Let's go see them.”

Ho Seok follows Tae Hyung to the babies' room.

Triplets Bedroom

The door opens slowly not to disrupt the triplets' slumber. They're each in their bed, motionless. *Entering quietly*

“Ye Rin. Su Yeong. Ye Rim.” says Tae Hyung pointing at his children with a wide grin.

“Oh. They're so cute,” whispers Ho Seok, unable to divert his eyes from their tiny figures. “Eun Min-ah, did you see the babies?” He turns his head towards his daughter who's still in Tae Hyung's arms. *Eun Min seems fascinated by the sleeping babies* (cooing)

“Let's go out. Before one of them wakes up.” Jokes Tae Hyung leading the way out of the room.

Living-room

[Tilt] A while later, Tae Sook has woken up from his nap and is silently watching Ho Seok and his daughter. The little girl smiles cutely, looking back and forth between her father and him, but Tae Sook is still in a daze. *Half awake* (laughs)

Tae Hyung appears walking in the living-room.

“Can you look after them while I eat?” He asks Ho Seok and the latter nods.

Tae Hyung enters the kitchen and serves himself a plate of mixed noodles, cooked by his mother before she's left earlier that day. *Finally able to put food in his system*

“Tae Sook-ah,” drawls Ho Seok looking at the little boy. “I've bought you a present. Do you want to have it?” Tae Sook's eyes are glued to the bag Ho Seok is holding in the air and doesn't wait a long time before walking towards it.

“You didn't have to.” Says Tae Hyung from afar with his mouth full.

[Shot of Ho Seok] “I wanted to. I've also bought for the twins.” He replies looking at his friend and then back at Tae Sook. “First you need to give uncle a kiss.” Tae Sook obeys eagerly. *Kiss* Ho Seok can't contain himself at the little boy's cuteness and hugs him tightly while Eun Min watches them curiously.

Ho Seok takes the toy he's purchased and puts it in Tae Sook's small hands. Ho Seok gasps loudly as he watches the young boy's eyes widen.

“Do you want me to open it for you?” Tae Sook nods his head vigorously as his eyes remains on the box. “Wouah!” Ho Seok exclaims as he eventually got rid of the packaging. Tae Sook's arms lift up in the air to take the toy back.

“Tae Sook-ah, say thank you.” Tells Tae Hyung.

*bow* (cooing) His son nods quickly his head, making Ho Seok laughs out loud, and goes to sit down to play with his new toy.

[Tilt] Some minutes later Jin Un appears walking in the living-room. Ho Seok has joined Tae Hyung in the kitchen to chat, carrying Eun Min.

Jin Un walks closely to Tae Sook when he's noticed the toy. *Jin Un suddenly shows interest in Tae Sook's toy* Tae Sook looks up to him and then back down at his toy. Jin Un crouches down near him and brings his hand closer to the toy. *Let me see*

Tae Sook jerks his hand away from Jin Un's and whines when the older boy doesn't seem to leave him alone, resulting in their fathers to look at them.

“Don't fight.” Says Tae Hyung before resuming his conversation with Ho Seok.

But Jin Un seems determined to take the toy from Tae Sook's hand and they each suddenly start pulling on each side of it.

Tae Sook's whines get louder and this time Ho Seok warns his son, telling him to stop annoying the younger boy. *Struggling*

The two children don't seem to ease the tension as their grips tighten. Suddenly, Jin Un's strength get the upper hand and the boy eventually snitch the toy out of Tae Sook but as he doing so, his hand goes upward and the hard surface of the toy hits Tae Sook square in his mouth. *Oh no!*

[Shot of Tae Sook] The younger boy falls on his back and instantly bursts into tears as the pain is being felt.

“I saw that one coming.” mumbles Ho Seok under his breath as he walks out the kitchen.

Tae Hyung strides to quickly take crying Tae Sook in his arms, soothing his tears as he rubs the back of his head, muffling the twenty-month-old's hollering. *Baby Tae Sook is hurt*

[Shot of Ho Seok] “You. Come here.” says Ho Seok sternly as he puts Eun Min on the floor and takes Jin Un's hand, walking with him to one corner of the room. *Ho Seok gets serious*

“Why did you take his toy ?” He kneels in front of his son.

Jin Un starts crying when his father has taken the toy out of his hand.

“No. Jin Un's toy.” whimpers the young child between sobs as he tries to get the toy back from Ho Seok.

“You have exactly the same at home. This was his present. It's not yours. You shouldn't have taken it from him.”

*Tae Hyung's house is in tears*

[Shot of Min Jun] Min Jun walks in the living-room and watches his younger brother, crying his eyes out in their father's arms. *What's wrong*

Tae Hyung leans Tae Sook back so as to take a look at him.

[Zoom on Tae Sook's face] *Goodness! Did he get injured?*

Tae Hyung immediately stands up to go the bathroom to take care of Tae Sook's superficial wound.

Bathroom

[High angle shot] He washes his son's face and takes a closer look at his cut lip. Tae Sook is still crying but Tae Hyung feels relieved when he realizes the cut isn't deep. The commotion has drawn attention and Yu Cheon is walking inside the bathroom, staring at Tae Sook in Tae Hyung's arms.

“What happened?”

“He's hurt.”

Living-room

[Tilt] Ho Seok is still scolding Jin Un when Yu Cheon appears running to them.

“Tae Sook is hurt. Tae Sook is hurt.”

“What did you say?” asks Ho Seok.

“Tae Sook's father said Tae Sook is hurt.”

Ho Seok's eyes widen.

“Face the wall and reflect. Don't move.” He tells Jin Un and turns him around so as to make face the other way and he goes to pick up Eun Min before walking rapidly towards the bathroom.

Bathroom

[High angle shot] “Is Tae Sook all right?” Ho Seok asks worriedly as he enters the room. He looks closely at Tae Sook who's calmed down a bit.

“Nothing serious. The inside of his lip got cut.” Answers Tae Hyung, drying his son's face.

[Zoom on Ho Seok's face]*Feels bad*

“Tae Sook-ah, I'm sorry.”

Living-room

Later, the two families have gathered to eat snacks. Tae Hyung put Tae Sook in his baby carrier, holding him on his front while he finishes preparing the food. *Tae Hyung prepares the children's snacks*

Tae Sook is still whining now and then; Tae Hyung keeps a protective arm on his lower back as he softly kisses the top of his head to appease him.

“Min Hyuk, Min Jun, let's eat.” says Ho Seok, pulling on the chairs to make them sit.

[Tilt on Min Hyuk climbing on a chair] *Min Hyuk gets ready to sit*

“Uncle, this is Min Jun's” He says, pointing at the chair beside him. “Sit here, it's Tae Sook's chair.” He tells Yu Cheon who struggles to climb on his own. Ho Seok lifts his body to help him.

[Tilt on Tae Hyung coming back with the plates] *He gives the boys their food first*

[Pan on Ho Seok's sons who looks at their dish] *It's different from our house*

“Min Hyuk's snack” chants Min Hyuk when Tae Hyung gives him his plate.

“Here's your food Min Hyuk, Min Jun I'll get yours wait a second.”

“Where's Min Jun's food.” Wonders Min Hyuk.

Tae Hyung walks back and comes with the last plate before settling down next to the children, “Here it is.”

Ho Seok is sat on the other end next to Jin Un with Eun Min on his lap. *All five children have received their food*

“Is it good?” He asks looking at his sons who are enthusiastically eating Tae Hyung's snacks.

*Yu Cheon observes the older boys*

“Yu Cheon, is uncle's food good? Say yes, say yes.” Tells Ho Seok and Tae Hyung's lips curves upward when the boy nods his head and Seon Ho lifts a thumbs up.

*The children are quiet when they eat.* (laughs)

[Tilt on their faces] *Yum Yum*

“I like it too.” Chants Min Hyuk, looking at Ho Seok.

“Wow, look at Min Hyuk eating.” Praises Ho Seok with a big smile.

[Tilt on Min Hyuk taking big bites] *He isn't picky with his food*

“The twins eat so well.” comments Ho Seok. *The children enjoy Tae Hyung's food*

At that moment, Tae Sook wiggles inside the baby carrier and Tae Hyung's loosens it a bit to take him out of it. He turns him around but the little boy whines when his father does so and leans him once again against his chest.

[Shot of Ho Seok] “I feel so bad, Tae Sook.” drawls Ho Seok, looking with sad eyes at sad Tae Sook. “Jin Un, you really went too far this time.” He continues, frowning at his younger son.

“It's okay. Don't make him feel bad. It's forgotten now.” Claims Tae Hyung stroking Tae Sook's face.

“Jin Un-ah, are you finished?” asks Ho Seok “Then go give a kiss to Tae Sook.”

Jin Un looks at Tae Sook and instantly goes down his chair and walks towards Tae Hyung. He leans Tae Sook's forward so as to let him kiss his son on his cheek. (cooing)

“Good boy.” Praises Ho Seok. “Give him a hug too. Don't fight anymore, all right?”

*All's well that ends well!*

End of Day 411

Masterlist

#bts scenarios #bangtan scenarios #bangtan fluff #taehyung fluff #hoseok fluff #bts imagines #kim taehyung #Jung HoSeok #bts reactions #The Return of Superman #kim taehyung scenarios #jung hoseok scenarios #bts v #bts jhope #bts fathers #bts father au

672 notes · View notes

heathergoffrier · 4 years

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When Is The Best Time To Start An Infant Sleep Schedule?

When is the best time to start an infant sleep schedule? If your baby is 0-3 months find out how to help your baby (and you) get more sleep. Plus get my Top 6 Newborn Sleep Tips. Click here to download This is the first post in my "Newborn Sleep" Series. Be sure to check out the other posts in the series and stay tuned for new additions!

We hope you enjoy the products we recommend! This post may contain affiliate links. That means we get a portion of the commission if you click through and make a purchase, but you don't pay a cent more. Thank you for supporting our small business as we strive to help you rock mom life! The baby's cries jolted me from my sleepy stupor like a train track's crossing gates suddenly clanging a warning. I checked my phone... the light showing 2:06am made me squint and close my eyes. Ugh. Looking over at the empty space on my husband's side, I remembered he couldn't do the diaper this time. He had just left on deployment. I rolled out of bed and flipped on the light, thankful for the bundle of cuteness I saw in the pack n play, even as I bemoaned having to get up. When is my baby going to sleep through the night?How soon can I get that to happen? What can I do?Because this sleep deprivation is killing me! As a mother of three, I've pondered those question many times, especially in the middle of the night as I've gotten up to feed, check on, hug, console, or tuck in one of my girls. Minimizing Sleepless Nights But I found a way to minimize the sleepless nights and help my babies learn to sleep till morning... even as soon as 7 or 8 weeks old! You might be surprised that it's not as hard as you think to start an infant sleep schedule with your baby. Most likely, you already have everything you need to get started, and you can download my Top 6 Newborn Sleep Tips to learn how. Click here to download

My wide-eyed look actually means I'm tired.

What is an Infant Sleep Schedule?

Now, before you get caught up on the words "schedule" or "routine," please know: **I'm NOT talking about crying it out or a rigid schedule by the clock.** So don't bail on me. (wink) People define an infant sleep schedule differently. When I use that term, I do not mean an exact rigid time every day for each nap and feed. In my experience, a baby routine is a flowing, flexible time structured by the parent but based off baby's cues and needs. Structure The structure part is knowing that a newborn needs 8-12 feedings per day. When you break that down by 24 hours, that's nursing every 2-3 hours. It's important to have a plan for those 2-3 hour chunks. When does baby nap? When does baby play? I tell you exactly what I do in my free download, "My Top 6 Newborn Sleep Tips That You Can Use Right Now To Establish An Infant Sleep Schedule." It's in my free resource library-- Click here to download Children thrive on routine so keeping a consistent pattern throughout the day helps the baby to expect what's coming. They know when it's time to sleep, so they fall asleep easily, in most cases. RELATED: 17 INSANELY POWERFUL TIPS FOR GETTING NEWBORN TO SLEEP AT NIGHT Flexibility But some days the baby is extra moody, or fussy, or having a growth spurt, so they need a bit of extra TLC to fall asleep. We all have our days! It's important to learn newborn sleep cues. Babies have a voice and they talk to us through crying and body language. If baby is showing signs of being tired, they might go down for an early nap. If they're acting hungry and they're using their "hungry cry" they probably need a meal earlier than expected. (you can learn your baby's different cries by watching and listening-- it's fascinating!) Staying flexible and attentive is super important to having a happy little one who sleeps and eats well. RELATED: EVERY MOM WHOSE BABY NAPS WELL KNOWS THESE 15 NEWBORN SLEEP CUES

Hey! I'm trying to tell you something!

When can you start teaching babies to sleep through the night (with an infant sleep schedule)?

If you have a 0-3 month old baby, the best time to start on an start an infant sleep schedule is now. In most cases, we can help our kids learn to sleep through the night by three months or even earlier. According to research: "Three months was the most likely age for infants to begin sleeping through from 10 p.m. to 6 a.m," one study says. This is a huge score for any parent. Those first few weeks before then are just plain hard, but I'm so thankful I used a newborn routine from the get-go. I started a light schedule with my girls pretty much as soon as we got home from the hospital and it paid off with babies who slept 11-12 hours. My oldest slept 12 hours at 10 weeks old! I'll share that story at the end of this post, but first... About Baby Sleep Sleeping through the night is generally considered a 6-8 hour period in the night. Not all babies will be able to sleep a 6-8 hour stretch. But if most babies have the ability to sleep through the night by 3 months, the big question becomes what we can do to help them along? Our middle child slept from 10:00pm-4:00am consistently between the 10-16 week mark. Though 6 hours was technically "through the night" it didn't feel that way to us, so we tightened up our routine in order to help her get to 6 or 7am. She's still our earliest riser but it's a much more decent hour than seeing 4:00 on the phone! Go baby go! Besides the fact that babies CAN do it, it's also important to remember that babies NEED a ton of sleep. "Sleep has been shown to be important for maturation of infants’ brains and consolidation of their memories. Several studies have shown that babies with more efficient nighttime sleep (greater percentage of time spent asleep during the night) had higher cognitive scores." -scienceofmom.com And moms need sleep too. If you're a parent I'm sure you've got that fully figured out.

So what exactly do you need on hand?

INFANT SLEEP SCHEDULE SUPPLIES LIST:

Swaddle blanketPacifierFood source (breastmilk, bottle, formula)Bed near --not in-- yours (we used the Graco Travel Lite Pack n Play)Clock (I used my phone)Notepad or app (I recommend the app MammaBaby for tracking feeds)A Plan, such as my Top 6 Newborn Sleep Schedule Tips. Click here to download

My Need For An Infant Sleep Schedule

The most brutal time of sleep deprivation in motherhood is those first two months with a newborn baby. Two weeks after the birth of our first child, my husband deployed for almost 7 months. I was desperate for sleep as a new mom and as a military wife far from any family, solo-parenting a newborn. Thankfully I have a very supportive family who helped out at various times throughout the deployment But one thing I decided when I was still pregnant, as I was researching and planning (as most new moms do), was that I would use an infant sleep schedule. And when the time came for me to put it into practice, I was exhausted emotionally and physically and I was eager to help my new daughter figure out that nighttime meant sleep time. The Incredible Results After establishing our sleep schedule and getting a basic handle on life with baby, I went to visit my parents for a few weeks. Baby was around 7 weeks old and had started sleeping 4-5 hour stretches each night. As week 7 turned into week 8, to my amazement, baby stretched out to sleeping 7-8 hours. Over the next couple of weeks, she went from sleeping 8 hours up to sleeping 10, 11, and 12 hour nights at 10 weeks old. After the first 12 hour night, I woke up and checked my phone. The light blasting through the window made me squint and close my eyes... it was after 8 and she had slept the entire night! I lay there, completely dumbfounded. Then I slightly panicked, wondering if she was alive. And when I saw her happy smile I then realized my body was way overdue to feed her so I'd better get to it!

My Top 6 Newborn Sleep Tips Get a free list of My Top 6 Newborn Sleep Tips that you can use Right Now to establish an infant sleep schedule. Click here to download

The "Newborn Sleep" Series

This is the first post in my "Newborn Sleep" Series. Be sure to check out the other posts in the series and stay tuned for new additions! When Is The Best Time To Start An Infant Sleep Schedule? (this post) How To Start A 3-Week-Old Baby Sleep Routine7 Newborn Baby Schedule Mistakes To Avoid 17 Insanely Powerful Tips For Getting Newborn To Sleep At Night Every Mom Whose Baby Naps Well Knows These 15 Newborn Sleep Cues Read the full article

#babycare #routines #Sleep

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littledreamybeth · 7 years

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Miya Ivy

Part one

A/N: I really feel like I suck at writing recently! :D I try not to compare myself with other writers because everyone works different but well it’s hard. I think this is one of the side effects if you have not English as your first language! Anyway, hope you enjoy this! (Picture is not mine)

“She’s almost there, love! I need just a few more pushes!” the lovely midwife called, encouraging the young woman lying in front of her who had her legs spread wide open. (Y/N) had been in the process of delivering their second child to the world and to be honest she was nearly at the verge of giving up. A wave of immense pain consumed her whole body, giving her the feeling of being ripped apart in two halves. It was the most aching birth that she ever had to endure.

Her back was pressed against her husband’s chest who sat right behind her. One hand ran through her now wet and sweaty hair while his other hand was intertwined with hers to give her the opportunity to squeeze it whenever she was in pain. His own eyes swam in salty tears and sweet words of encouragement left his mouth. Knowing that his wife was going through so much pain, more than she could ever handle and he was just sitting there with desperation and worry, made him feel helpless. All he wanted to do was taking the pain away from her but he knew he couldn’t.

He was concerned about her health because there had been a few moments where (Y/N) struggled with her breathing. Her entire face took a shade of red whenever she was ordered to push and Alex had to remind her more than once to breathe.

“I-I can’t anymore!” (Y/N) cried, wishing with her entire heart that it would be over soon. Her body was almost drained out of power and she had no more strength to keep pushing.

Alex peppered her temple with kisses, telling her that she was doing great and that she needed to hold on. He wiped away the tears that escaped from her eyes with his thump.

“A little bit more, darling and we’re going to hold our baby in our arms,” he sweetly spoke to her. “I know she’s going to look so much like you, like her beautiful mother. She will have your eyes, your nose, your lips, and your incredible personality. She will be just like the woman her father loves so much. We’re almost there, love. You can do this! I believe in you. You’re a strong, my love.”

Another contraction hit (Y/N) and with a loud scream she gave a next push.

“The head is out!” the midwife called with excitement. “You’re doing great, love! Come on give me a one last push.”

And (Y/N) gathered all her strength, all the power that was left in her and pushed and pushed and pushed until the room was filled with a baby’s cry. She rested her back again on Alex’ chest, exhaustion and tiredness overwhelmed her. This time tears of relief ran down her cheeks as the midwife wrapped the newborn in a towel and laid it on her chest.

“There we go. A healthy baby girl.”

“Jesus Christ, she’s so tiny,” Alex breathed out, looking at his baby in awe. His mind couldn’t really process that she was finally there. He was completely embraced with shock, but also happiness. He carefully stroked the tiny cheek of the infant, feeling its softness consuming him. He couldn’t put into words how he felt right now. He was utterly proud of his wife.

While the baby was cleaned and put into some baby clothes, Alex helped his wife to get cleaned up while uncountable words of praise left his mouth. (Y/N) had made him a father for a second time and he was beyond grateful for this gift. He loved her more than his life but right now he shared more love and more passion for this woman than he could ever express. She gave him two precious children, something he was very grateful for. He would spend his entire life to make it up to her. Every pain, every scream, every tear would be replaced by affectionate actions of pure love.

(Y/N) placed the newborn in her arms and weighted her back and forth. Alex was beside her with a wide smile on his lips. His shining green eyes could have brightened the whole world in no time.

“Miya Ivy, welcome to the world, little baby girl,” he greeted his new love. He promised he would do anything to protect her and her older brother Luke. His family meant so much to him, without them he would be a no one. He was so grateful of getting the privilege of being a father. With Alex by their side, they wouldn’t be alone in this world, he would make sure that they got everything they needed. He would work hard for them so he could fulfill every wish they had.

“She’s so beautiful,” (Y/N) sighed. “I really don’t know what to say.”

“She’s a pretty little one, eh? Just like her mummy.”

He kissed his wife softly, expressing his emotions that flooded through him with a single kiss.

***

It was in the middle of the night as Alex stormed out of his bed when he heard his baby girl crying. When it came to Miya, he had a very good hearing. Whenever she cried because she needed something, Alex was not too far away. He would cradle her in his arms and would make sure that she felt better. It would be an understatement to say that he was not protective over her. No, he was very over protective. More often than once he caught himself getting jealous once somebody who was not him or his wife held her. They received many visits of family and friends and honestly, Alex couldn’t wait them to disappear so he could spend some time with his little girl again. Every minute was precious and important with him. One day his baby girl would grow to a wonderful and pretty young woman and times like these would be over.

He was afraid and not ready for this. He wanted to savor every second with his children.

“Hey, baby girl,” he cooed as he arrived to the nursery, taking her out of her crib. They had placed a rocking chair right next to the crib and Alex sat onto it carefully with his baby in his arms.

“Don’t cry, darling. Daddy is here. You don’t have to be afraid anymore. What’s the matter, huh?”

Alex started to hum a lullaby, which had become one of Miya’s favorite. She calmed down immediately whenever he sung that to her. Besides Alex had a very good voice, that also soothed and relaxed his wife when she was stressed out.

“I really hope you’re not hungry yet because I can’t bring myself to wake up your mummy.”

He laughed slightly. (Y/N) had already spent many nights without rest and sleep because Alex had to work the next day. But he wanted to support her as much as he could. When he was out of the house, earning money for the family, (Y/N) was required to take care after two little children. Luke could be a hard deal sometimes and (Y/N) needed all her patience and strength. And now with Miya around it would be harder for her. That’s why Alex made sure that his mother was at least there when he couldn’t.

“You’re daddy’s girl, aren’t you? Daddy loves you so much, princess. And you know what? We will have so much fun together. You and me and Luke and mummy. I will buy you as much as dolls as you want, as much as toys as you want because daddy wants you to be happy, princess. Whatever that is what you wish you will have it, I promise. But just for your information, no boys until you’re not out of college, yes? Daddy wants to be the only one for his baby girl. I want to be your hero, darling.”

“She will always look up to you.”

The sweet sound of his wife’s voice startled him. (Y/N) leaned against the doorway with crossed arms, watching her husband interacting with their daughter.

“Why are you up, darling?” Alex asked. “Go back to sleep. You need it.”

(Y/N) entered the nursery. “I woke up because a certain someone was missing. You know I cannot sleep without you. The bed is cold without your warmth.” She bent down to kiss his forehead. Alex closed his eyes at the tingly sensation that her kiss had left on his skin.

“She’s lucky to have someone like you as her daddy,” (Y/N) said. “She doesn’t know right know but she’ll figure it out when she’s older. But we can’t keep her forever.” She referred to what he had told Miya before (Y/N) interrupted the father-daughter moment.

“I don’t want her to grow up, neither Luke,” Alex mumbled truthfully. When he just thought about how fast three years have passed since Luke was born, he couldn’t even imagine how it would be the same with Miya Ivy.

“Me too, love. But let’s not think about it for now, okay? Whatever happens, she’ll always be our little girl, the same goes for Luke as well.”

(Y/N) made sure to treat her children all equally. She didn’t want any of them to feel less valuable. Especially Luke shouldn’t feel this way because Miya was now around. The little boy often asked his parents if they still loved him because he noticed that his parents had not much time for him anymore like they used to. Alex made sure to explain while certain things had changed, but they would still love him so much.

The young couple gazed at the infant, watching her chest lifting and falling. Miya slept so peacefully with soft snores escaping her little mouth and Alex couldn’t dare to place her into her crib again.

“I’ll go ahead,” (Y/N) informed him. “Don’t be too late, okay? I already miss you in bed.”

“I won’t,” he promised.

After spending a few more minutes with his baby girl, carefully placed her into her crib again, covering her tightly with her blanket so she wouldn’t catch a cold. Giving her a kiss on her head, he whispered, “Goodnight angel. Sleep well.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles alex #alex dunkirk #alex dunkirk imagine #dunkirk imagine #harry styles dunkirk imagine #one direction imagine #one direction fanfiction #one direction imagines #one direction one shot

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all-the-love-harold · 4 years

Text

Chapter 13 - Aren’t They Lovely?

Master Post

Previously:

Poppy’s mind was racing as they made their way to Gemma’s house, and the tightening pains in her stomach only got worse. 34 weeks was still too early to have this bub, better than 27, but still not long enough to keep her safe. And today was Emily’s day, Oscar’s day. Poppy didn’t want to take that away from them. But as each shooting pain got more intense she knew she wasn’t going to be able to keep it a secret much longer.

“Walk in your rainbow paradise….” The first lyrics of Adore you echoed around the car and Poppy knew she wasn’t going to be able to keep her contractions a secret now.

“Mummy this is daddy’s song and you’re not dancing” Oli said from the back seat, throwing his hands in the air while Harry sang along.

“Yeah Mummy” Harry said accusingly

Poppy sighed and turned the music down “Now don’t freak out” she said “But I think I’m in labour too”

It took everything within Harry not to slam on the breaks at that point, but he took a deep breath and tried to overcome the shock.

“Ok” he said slowly “Do we have time to drop Oli off or am I going to the hospital now?”

“They’re not going to be able to stop it today H” Poppy said “Dr Marshall said that last time,”

“I know” he nodded “so what do you need? Do you need me to drop Oli off, or do you need to go now”

“We can drop him to Gems if we’re going to be quick” Poppy clutched her stomach

“Why don’t we get Gemma to meet us there?” Harry suggested and all that Poppy could muster right now was a nod.

The rest of the car ride was silent aside from Harry explaining to Oli what was happening now. Poppy was wishing that she'd paid more attention in the birthing classes now that she was actually in labour, although she still knew that she wouldn’t be delivering naturally anyway. Which only had her wondering how on earth she was going to look after two newborns and a four year old while she recovered from a c-section.

****

Soon after they arrived at the hospital Poppy was taken to her own room and a midwife had come in to see where her labour was at. Since this was Poppy’s second baby and sixth pregnancy, her labour was progressing faster than the midwives would have hoped given that it could be dangerous for her to give birth naturally.

“You’re at 8cm love” the midwife said in a very soothing welsh accent “But your waters haven’t broken yet so we should be able to wait for Dr Marshall to get here ok”

Poppy nodded, midway through another contraction squeezing Anne’s hand as tight as she could.

“We’ve got a monitor on baby too love, so if she goes into distress we’ll get you straight off to surgery”

“Do you know how long the doctor will be?” Anne asked

“No more than an hour” the midwife smiled “Emily’s my patient too, so I’ll let your husband know what’s happening here and I’ll come back and update you on Emily too”

Poppy and Anne both nodded and thanked her as she walked out of the room.

“Thanks for being here” Poppy said to Anne

“It’s my pleasure love. This is why I’ve been in London for the last few weeks”

“You’ll be the first person to meet your granddaughter”

“It’s an hon-” Anne started but stopped as there was a gush of water over Poppy’s bed. Thinking quickly, she pushed the buzzer to call in a midwife and began comforting Poppy through another contraction.

“I want the drugs” Poppy cried as the midwife walked in “It hurts, Please give me the drugs”

“Her waters have broken” Anne said softly to the midwife

“Ok lovie, let’s have a quick look to see where bub’s at and then I’ll call the anaesthetist,”

Poppy nodded and she began her exam. “Ok,” she sighed “I don’t have good news I’m afraid, your waters have broken very late love, it’s too late for an epidural, bub’s coming very fast there’s no time for surgery either, you’re going to have to push”

“I...I … I can’t” Poppy said “I’m not supposed to”

“I know love” the midwife said sympathetically “But we’re going to make sure everything's ok, I’ll call for a doctor and we’ll get your baby here safe and sound”

Poppy nodded through her tears “Where’s Harry?” she said “I need Harry”

***

“Ahh fucking hell this hurts” Emily screamed. She was 9cm dilated now and the baby was at 0 station, which the doctors said meant that she was just about ready to deliver.

“You’re doing great Em,” Harry said, checking his watch to see if he needed to go back to Poppy’s room yet.

“You did this to me” she screamed

Harry laughed nervously, looking towards patricia for support “Maybe I should go” he said

“Give her five minutes” Patricia said

“I’ll go check on Pop” he said, walking out of the room.

Poppy was down the hall, in another labouring room, waiting for her waters to break so that they could take her to surgery. He broke into a run so that he could get there quicker and he burst into the room more abruptly than he’d planned.

“Hi” he said awkwardly to everyone in the room who was now staring at him “what have I missed”

The midwife who he’d seen in Em’s room earlier was now attending to Poppy and looked puzzled to see him here.

“Weren’t you with Emily Wood an hour ago?” She asked

“Yeah” Harry nodded “she’s our surrogate, Poppy wasn’ t supposed to be able to get pregnant, but here we are”

“Riiiight” she said “so Poppy is your wife?”

“Yes” Harry nodded

“Ok then” the midwife said “well she’s fully dilated and baby’s to too low down for a c-section, the doctors on their way” she turned and left the room.

Harry’s eye’s had widened “fuck” he breathed “are you ok Pop?”

Poppy was too busy breathing in the happy gas that helped ease the pain to respond. She simply held her hand out and ushered him over to her. He held on tight and eased her through each contraction.

Anne had been with Poppy while Harry was with Em, but now he was here she sat back and watched the two of them. She felt quite out of place now, but her heart swelled with pride as she watched her son, so calm and collected, comfort his labouring wife. It was like nothing else in the world existed, just the two of them and that baby. The five minutes that Harry had promised Em had well and truly passed by the time he even thought about going back, but the doctors had just arrived and he couldn’t leave Poppy now.

“Mum,” he whispered as the doctor spoke to Poppy “can you go check on Em?”

Anne nodded “of course” she rested her hand on his back and planted a kiss on cheek “Good luck H, you’re about to be a dad”

Harry’s stomach dropped, he was about to be responsible for two more little lives. He was about to have a daughter, a little girl to show the world to.

“Alright Poppy” the doctor said in a gentle tone “on the next contraction I’m going to need you to push”

Poppy nodded, taking deep breaths to fill her body with the oxygen it needed to get through the next contraction.

“Ok Poppy, now’s the time you need to push”

She took a deep breath and held tight onto Harry’s hand squeezing harder and used her entire body strength to push.

“You’re doing great, Poppy” the doctor said “one more big push in the next contraction and you can meet your little girl”

She was so close to holding that tiny little baby in her arms all she had to do was one more push, one more push and she was going to be a mum, again.

The contraction started and Poppy used all of her might to push, squeezing Harry’s hand so tight it turned purple and all of a sudden the whole room cheered.

“Welcome to the world little one” the doctor said, but there was no crying, and Harry had noticed that the baby looked a little blue

“Is she ok?” He asked, voice shaking from all the emotion.

But the doctor didn’t respond to Harry, he simply lifted the baby and took her over to the crib in the corner.

“What’s happening H?” Poppy asked weakly

“I don’t know Pop” he admitted, still keeping his eyes on the baby “she’s not breathing”

But just as quickly as she came into the world, Florence Anne started to cry and then whole room breathed a sigh of relief.

“Happy Birthday baby girl” the midwife cooed, wrapping her up in a blanket way too big for her

“Meet your mumma” Poppy held her arms out and the midwife laid her straight onto her chest and right then Poppy’s whole world felt complete.

“Hiya baby Flori” she cooed and planted about a thousand kisses to her forehead “I’m so happy to meet you”

Harry knelt down next to the bed and kissed the baby’s cheek “Hi little girl” he said “We’ve waited so long for you” he turned to Poppy and planted a gentle kiss to her lips “Thank you” he said “you did great”

Poppy smiled, unable to take her eyes off Florence “How’s Em?” she asked

“Fuck” Harry said under his breathe “Em… she was about to… but then you…. Shit… are you good if I go check on her?.... I’ll send mum in”

“Yes” Poppy said a little too enthusiastically for someone that had just given birth “go”

Harry turned and ran out of the room and down the hall, past a midwife that looked at him like he was a maniac and he burst into Emily’s delivery room just as little Oscar entered the world. Anne and Patricia were holding Em’s hands as she pushed and they both looked at Harry with the tiniest bit of disgust over his timing. But Oscar's cries echoed around the room before they could say anything.

“Here he is” the doctor said, lifting oscar up and handing him to Emily

“Give him to Harry” she said turning her head away so that she didn’t look at him .

Harry was frozen in his spot. Right there in front of him was his son. His son that he had waited so long to meet, and he couldn’t move. Maybe it was the shock. Or the stress that he’d been feeling since Poppy went into labour. Or maybe it was that this morning he woke up expecting to go to bed without two newborns, but they were both here and he wasn’t sure it felt real.

“Harry” Anne said gently, putting her hand on his shoulder “Harry, hold your son”

“Dad come over and cut the cord” the doctor said, holding the surgical scissors out to him

Anne gave him a little push forward which brought him back down to earth and he took the scissors from the doctor.

“Right there between the two clamps”

Harry clenched the scissors tight and cut the spongy tissue

“Here he is” the doctor smiled “Hold you son”

Harry took the baby in his arms and his eyes filled with tears “Hi my boy” he cooed “I am so happy to meet you”

****

The two babies slept soundly in their hospital cribs and Harry and Poppy couldn’t stop staring at them. They finally had some alone time, since Emily had decided to go back to her room for a nap and Anne had gone to pick Oli up from Gemma’s house.

“Look at his chubby little cheeks” Poppy said staring at Oscar

“Look how tiny Flori’s hands are” Harry responded, wrapping his arms around Poppy and kissing her on the forehead “I am so proud of you Pop”

“This is certainly not what I had planned for today” she admitted “But it’s so nice to have them here”

“We have three kids now” Harry sighed “3! We’re outnumbered”

“Nah” Poppy shook her head “We’ll have Addie”

“Have you told her yet?” Harry asked

“No” Poppy shook her head “If you can find my phone though I’ll send her a photo”

“Their very first photoshoot” he giggled as he started searching the room for Poppy’s phone.

It felt strange to Poppy to be left alone with the babies, not that she wasn’t capable of looking after them, but they were so little and there was two of them. And Flori was having trouble feeding because she was early and Oscar didn’t like the formula the hospital provided. Part of her wanted to go home and get settled into a routine, but most of her wanted to stay here in this bubble, with the babies and Harry and Oli. Just in this room. Safe.

“Here it is” Harry said “ it was still in your pocket”

Poppy let out a small laugh “Everything did happen very quickly”

He nodded “Yep. I didn’t think we’d be here this morning”

“Me either” Poppy shoved the phone into Harry’s chest “I’m going to put them in the same crib” she said, picking Flori up gently.

“Hi Flori girl” She cooed “Meet your brother Oscar”

“Oscar” Harry said softly “meet your sister Florence”

Both babies let out small, contented cries, and Poppy started crying tears of joy.

“You take the photo H,” Poppy giggled through her tears “I can’t see”

“You’re a mess” Harry laughed “But you gave birth today, so it’s excused”

“It’s excused for the next eighteen years, Styles”

Harry snapped the photo, and sent it off to Addie.

Look who made an appearance tonight

Florence Anne Styles, Born at 8:47pm 3/10/21, weighing 5 pounds

Oscar William Styles, Born at 9:01pm 3/10/21, weighing 9 pounds.

I guess we do have twins!

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imagineproduce101 · 7 years

Text

Rockabye, Baby

Parenthood is difficult, but it’s a little easier with Im Youngmin by your side.

husband!youngmin with a newborn child

ft. the idiots of pd101

You stared at the small bundle in your arms, breathless as the adorable baby scrunched her nose up.

“She’s beautiful,” your husband, Youngmin, breathed out, reaching out to carefully pet her smooth forehead.

“We have a baby, Youngmin,” you smiled over at him, tears in your eyes. Youngmin leaned over to press a kiss to your forehead, smoothing your hair away from your face.

“We do, (y/n),” he said quietly, letting you rest your head on his shoulder, “we do.”

The baby, who you had decided to name Dawon, wriggled a bit, making her hair stick up a bit. Youngmin sighed happily, carefully tugging her little blue beanie further over her head so that she didn’t get cold.

“How did the nurse do it?” You asked frantically, doing your best to cradle the small baby to your body like the nurse had shown you, “she won’t stop crying, Youngmin, what am I doing wrong?”

Dawon shrieked, balling up her tiny, wrinkled hands. You looked around the hospital room, checking to see if the nurse was back yet.

“Hey, baby,” Youngmin said in his low voice, coming around to give you a back hug, “you’re doing fine. Try doing that hold that she showed you.”

“I don’t remember it!” You wailed, feeling tears welling up in your eyes, “I’m a terrible parent, I can’t even remember how to hold my own daughter.”

“Hey, don’t say that,” Youngmin turned you so that you were facing him, and he helped you gently position Dawon into the hold that the nurse had showed you. Surrounded by the warmth of her parents and your familiar, comforting smells, she quieted down, reaching out to grasp Youngmin’s thumb in her tiny fist. The three of you stayed like that, like the moment would be shattered if you even moved. Dawon cooed, eyes closing sleepily.

“We did it,” Youngmin whispered, leaning over to kiss you, “you did it.”

You watched in amusement from your hospital bed as Youngmin’s friends all attempted to amuse Dawon. Still exhausted from childbirth, you were totally wiped out, eager to hand Dawon over to Jisung and the other boys (but mainly Jisung, who had several younger sisters and knew how to deal with babies).

“Peek-a-boo!” Seongwoo said excitedly, waving his hands in front of his face. Dawon just stared at him in confusion.

“Hyung, that’s not funny,” Daehwi giggled at Seongwoo’s offended expression. “Hey, Dawonnie,” he cooed, smiling down at your child. Dawon still stared, not impressed.

“You heathens, you’re all doing it wrong,” Jaehwan cut in, before going off into peals of his psychotic laughter. Now, Dawon started crying, face scrunching up. Youngmin laughed loudly, pointing at Jaehwan.

“Your laugh is so weird it made my daughter cry,” he wheezed, clutching his stomach. Dawon instantly stopped crying, looking over to Youngmin, who was still laughing loudly at Jaehwan. You watched in love and amazement as a laugh bubbled out of Dawon, waving her chubby little hands at Youngmin. All the boys started screaming at how cute that was, prompting more wails out of your poor daughter.

“Okay, visiting time’s over,” you announced, opening your arms, “Jisung, return her.” Jisung did as he was told, depositing the little bundle that was Dawon back into your waiting arms.

“Daddy’s laugh is nice, huh?” You cooed, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Dawon cooed as well, reaching up to grab your hair.

Dawon was about a week old, and you’d finally been able to bring her home. Most people who talked to you had warned you that it would be impossible to sleep with Dawon around, but so far she had been fairly quiet, not crying very much.

You’d carefully set Dawon in between you and Youngmin, on the hard surface of your mattress so that she wouldn’t suffocate, before covering her in her own light blanket. Youngmin turned off the light and gave you a quick peck on the lips before snuggling in next to Dawon, legs tangling with your own. He sighed happily, studying you and Dawon before letting himself drift to sleep. You took a bit longer to fall asleep, nervous about sleeping in the same bed as Dawon. Your doctor had assured you that it would be safe if you did so, and there were some benefits to it, but you were still scared that you might crush her tiny body.

Just as you felt yourself about to fall asleep, you heard a small whimper. Your eyes shot open immediately, looking over to Dawon. Her face was scrunched up, and she looked uncomfortable, so you immediately scooped her up, sitting up in bed to cradle her.

“you okay?” Youngmin slurred, looking up at you.

“It’s fine, sweetie,” you smoothed his hair down, “go back to sleep.” Dawon whimpered a while before she started to full on cry. You got out of bed and went into the living room, pacing back and forth. Dawon particularly liked the sensation of being rocked, and you knew that she would calm down if you walked around.

She quieted down, and was clearly sleeping, so you walked back to bed and settled down. However, as soon as Dawon noticed the absence of being rocked, she started crying again. Picking her back up, you resumed your pacing, eyes never leaving the tiny face of your newborn daughter. You spent hours like that, first pacing back and forth and then finally giving up, settling down in the rocking chair that your mother had bought for you.

You felt your bones getting heavier and lids threatening to shut, but you couldn’t sleep, not if Dawon was uncomfortable. Three or four hours had passed, and you were still out in the living room rocking Dawon. You heard shuffling from the other room, and looked up to see Youngmin rubbing his eyes.

“Babe, have you been awake this entire time?” He asked softly, walking over to you. He carefully rubbed your head, your eyes closing as you felt his warm hands massage your scalp.

“Yeah,” you replied, sighing, “she starts crying if I stop rocking her.”

“I can do this, go get some sleep,” Youngmin said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. You carefully handed Dawon to Youngmin, who cradled her in his arms and settled into the rocking chair that you had just vacated.

“Thank you, babe,” you said, exhausted. You kissed him gently before heading back to the bedroom, conking out immediately.

You woke up to the scent of breakfast, and rolled over to check what time it was. You’d gotten about two hours of sleep, which wasn’t great, but you’d live.

You grabbed one of Youngmin’s sweatshirts, pulling it over your head to fight off the cold before padding into the kitchen. The sight made your eyes almost tear up.

Youngmin was humming quietly to Dawon, who was resting on his left hip and supported by his arm. His right arm was mixing the rice porridge that had been cooking on the stove, and behind him, the other breakfast foods were set out on the table.

It was incredibly domestic, and when you’d started dating Youngmin—hell, even when you’d married him—you never thought you would be raising a family like this.

i still need a video of woojin holding a smol child thank you very much

#produce 101 #produce 101 imagine #produce 101 fanfiction #produce 101 oneshot #produce 101 scenario #brand new music #bnmboysnetwork #im youngmin #im youngmin imagine #im youngmin scenario #im youngmin oneshot

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mystic-messenger-writing · 7 years

Note

Hi, so I was wondering if I can get a head cannon of MC and rfa losing a baby and then maybe finally having one eventually? I lost my baby when I was a lil over 5 months and it crushed me. I've come to peace with it, but I'd love something to read and emotionally connect with. You're an amazing writer so I'm excited to see what you can do(:

Oh my goodness anonny you’re an amazing and such a strong person to have gone through that! I sincerely wish you happiness and love, I’m so happy to hear that this game has helped you overcome such a tough time! Thank you so much for your patience, I wanted to take my time and give you a well-thought out response plus I kind of got carried away when writing these! I truly hope that you enjoy, if you need me to change anything please don’t hesitate to ask!! :)

Side Note/Warning: I decided to get rid of the under the cut thingie since I had a few people message me about it not working plus it wasn’t working on my mobile. So this is a warning. this headcanon talks about pre-mature child deaths and I know that this cane make some people uncomfortable so please skip this one if you feel this way. Anyways, there’s my warning and I hope that the rest of you enjoy!! ^^

Yoosung

You and Yoosung were elated to see that your pregnancy test came back positive

The two of you had been trying for a while now to become pregnant and now that you finally were, Yoosung couldn’t stop tears of joy from flowing

You and Yoosung moved out of his small apartment and into a larger family home, immediately preparing for the baby’s arrival

The two of you even crocheted a tiny baby blanket together, Yoosung said happily that you both sewed it with love

Everything seemed to be going fine with the pregnancy until one morning you woke up and shrieked as you saw blood between your thighs and a sharp pain in your lower abdomen

Yoosung jumped out of bed and drove you as fast as he could to the doctors, trying to calm you down but deep down he knew what the truth was

When the doctor told the two of you that the you had a miscarriage, you sobbed into Yoosung’s shoulder as silent tears slid down his cheeks

Yoosung helped calm you down enough to take you back home but your crying started again when you walked past the nursery

Every night you and Yoosung would lay your crochet blanket in between the two of you, whispering ‘Good night’s’ and ‘I love you’s’ to your unborn daughter

It took a while, but after enough time of mourning for your daughter, you and Yoosung decided to try for another child

And when you became pregnant again, the two of you cried tears of happiness for two hours straight

This time, Yoosung studied regular medicine along side his usual veterinarian medicine to ensure that this child would be born happy and healthy

When it came time for the delivery, Yoosung was extremely nervous that something would happen to either you or your child but the birth went without any flaws

Yoosung held his newborn son close to his chest, kissing his tiny head as tears littered all three of your faces

You and Yoosung would constantly be with your son, giving him all of the love and attention that he deserved

The little Kim even inherited his older sister’s crochet blanket and when he would cry at night, Yoosung would wrap his son in the blanket which would immediately stop his crying

Yoosung would rock his son back and forth, telling his son how much you, himself, and his unborn older sister loved him and how she would always watch over the three of you

Zen

After establishing a relationship of love and trust, you and Zen decided that you both wanted children

So when your pregnancy test came back positive, you and Zen couldn’t be happier as he peppered your face with kisses and twirled you around

Preparing for the baby’s arrival would be a fun yet challenging time for the two of you

Zen became increasingly nervous about being a father but after much reassurance from you, he started to believe that he could be an amazing dad for his child

He even told his family about the pregnancy and while they still didn’t accept Zen back, his mother gave him a pair of his old booties for his child to wear

As your due date approached, Zen couldn’t help but notice how you didn’t seem like your tummy was growing big enough to support s baby, but he didn’t want to worry you so he kept his mouth shut

It wasn’t until one day at rehearsals that Zen received an emergency phone call from an ambulance driver that you were in the hospital that Zen felt true panic within himself

Zen rushed to the hospital to find you lying in bed, crying your eyes out as the doctor explained that your baby didn’t survive

To Zen, it felt like his entire world was coming crashing down but he knew that he didn’t have time to wallow in his own self-pity, he needed to take care of you no matter what

Every night Zen would have to calm you down from waking up with nightmares, you’d have to cling onto your husband’s old booties that were meant to be given to your son as Zen would softly sing or hum until you fell back asleep

Only when he knew for sure that you were asleep did Zen allow himself to cry for the death of his unborn son, not realizing that this process would be so painful

With time, both you and Zen healed and when the time was right, you both mutually agreed to try for another child

Zen broke down into a crying mess when you told him that you were pregnant, vowing that o matter what he would see his child be born

He was there with you every step of the way during this pregnancy, especially when you squeezed the life out of his hand during your perfect delivery

Zen looked down to be greeted with a pair of crimson irises as tears filled his own eyes as he looked at his son

He became extremely protective of his new son but still very loving and caring over him, especially when he wore his unborn older brother’s booties which he would always become a happy baby when he wore them

When your son outgrew the tiny booties, you, Zen, and your son would visit your eldest son’s grave and placed them onto of the grave as they talked to him

As Zen held his second son in his arms, he’d silently tell his first son how much he and you love him and how Zen knows that he’ll always watch over the three of them

Jaehee

It had always been your dream to have children and you couldn’t have though of a better partner to have a family with then Jaehee

She always had a motherly aura to her so when you brought up the idea of having children with her, she agreed

After much consideration, you and Jaehee had decided to go with a sperm donor from one of your close male friends

As your tummy grew bigger and bigger, yours and Jaehee’s excitement grew as well when the doctors told you that you would be having a daughter

Jaehee showed a newfound love of crafting and with your help, made a tiny pink floral headband for your daughter

All seemed to be going well with the pregnancy until you felt a sharp pain in your tummy so unbearable that you couldn’t even stand straight

Jaehee rushed you to the hospital only to hear the worst news imaginable, that you baby girl no longer had a heartbeat and had to be removed

Tears poured down your cheeks as Jaehee gripped your hand tightly letting her own tears fall

When the two of you got home, you clutched the small headband that you and Jaehee made for your daughter to your chest, with fresh tears falling

It hurt Jaehee seeing you this upset, so she wiped her own tears away and became your shoulder to cry on

After a while, you shakily asked Jaehee if she wanted to try for a child again, telling her that this is your dream and you know that she’d make an amazing mother

She immediately agreed so the two of you went to a different sperm donor, a friend of Jaehee’s

In a couple of months, you became pregnant again, much to both of your happiness and this time, Jaehee constantly reminded you to take your vitamins and to let her know if you feel any pain

Jaehee was there with you every step of the way, giving you lots of encouragement as you gave birth to a healthy baby girl

Your little girl was bombarded with love from you and Jaehee, even dressing her up with his unborn older sister’s headband which always seemed to make her smile

Jaehee would hold her daughter at night and would tell her how much her mommy’s plus her unborn older sister loved her, the little girl would grow up knowing that her family loved her and would always watch over her

Jumin

After the two of you got married, Jumin was eager to finally start a family with you

Once you came out of the bathroom with a positive pregnancy test and happy tears, Jumin felt his heart sing with joy as he tightly embraced you

The two of you had so much fun decorating the baby’s room, often having debates on the color of the wall, what the baby should wear Jumin wanted cat onesies and what kind of toys the little one would have

While the two of you did disagree on most things, you and Jumin bought a little cat stuffed animal for your child, one thing you both agreed they needed

As your tummy grew, you started to feel more and more pain, one day it became too much and had Driver Kim take you to the hospital

Once Jumin was notified, he stormed out of his office and rushed to your side only to find you sobbing that your baby boy’s umbilical cord was wrapped around his neck

Jumin was stunned, begging the doctors to do something, anything to save his child but he knew deep down that his son was no longer here

You would cry every time you walked past the nursery with Jumin gently holding your shoulder as you sat in the rocking chair, holding the cat plushie as you told your unborn son how much you loved him

After a while, you and Jumin decided that you both wanted to try for a child again

This pregnancy went as smoothly as any pregnancy could go since Jumin hired the best doctors, chefs, and caretakers

Jumin couldn’t stop his smiling when he saw you deliver a healthy baby girl into the world, holding her close to his chest as he fell to his knees from happiness

Your daughter inherited her unborn older brother’s cat stuffed animal, always seeming to laugh and smile when she held it

Jumin would hold his tiny daughter at night, softly singing to her and telling her that her unborn older brother would always watch over them and that he’d always protect her

Seven

Seven had always dreamed of having a large family with you

So when you excitedly showed him your positive pregnancy test, Seven fell to the floor holding your still flat tummy, thanking you repeatedly as he kissed your tummy

He tighten his security system, especially in his baby’s room and went to building so many robo cats

But Seven wanted to give your child something that the two of you made with love together so you both agreed and created a space and cat themed mobile for the top of their crib

Life seemed to be going so well for Seven until one night when the two of you were watching a movie

You suddenly gripped his arm as he saw blood trickled between your thighs as you said that you were in a lot of pain

Seven raced you to the hospital, praying that everything was okay, but they were far from it

The doctor informed you and Seven that your baby was no longer alive, with you immediately bursting into tears and Seven feeling a crushing weight in his chest

When the two of you got back home, Seven laid you down in bed, gently hushing you until you fell asleep in his arms

That was when Seven let himself cry, asking God why he hated him so much to take his son away from him

The two of you got through the mourning process together and eventually, you and Seven were ready to try for a child again

As if God was listening to Seven’s prayers, your pregnancy went flawlessly, the only thing was Seven needed to have his hand checked out by the doctor since you squeezed it so hard

Seven held his son close to him, gently putting his ear to his son’s heart, hearing the beats made him cry tears of joy

The little Choi had his unborn older brother’s mobile and would always seem to stare at it in wonder when it slowly spun

Seven would hold his son at night, gently telling him that even though he would never meet his older brother in this world, someday you, Seven, the little boy, and his unborn older brother would meet and become a true family

#mystic messenger #mystic messenger headcanon #mystic messenger imagines #mystic messenger Yoosung #mystic messenger Zen #mystic messenger Jaehee #mystic messenger Jumin #mystic messenger Seven

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mollymauk-teafleak · 6 years

Note

Widomauk and their baby?? Maybe just parent fluff?

You got it! Based off a wonderful idea that the lovely @minky-for-short had!

Caleb had become very used to waking up to the sound of screaming, even before he became a father. And he did have to admit, the shrill, plaintive cries of his daughter were much preferable to the echoing, hollow screams of his nightmares.

He sat up, vision soft and unreliable as sleep still clung stubbornly to his exhausted mind. But with a press of the heels of his hands against his eyes and a few deep breaths, he won the fight for his own consciousness and could now pick out the room around him. He and Mollymauk had never kept a particularly tidy apartment and, with most of their time taken up with raising their newborn, things had only dissolved more into chaos. Books were scattered across the floor, the piles they’d been in finally stacked too high to support themselves, with bookmarks jutting up at random points through their pages and the sides thick and dog eared from frequent readings and highlighting of passages and scribbling his own annotations in the margins to try and tweak the spells inside. In amongst that was clothes, Molly’s in a vast array of colours to rival any artist’s pallet and all of Caleb’s sticking resolutely to the beige, brown and mustard end of the spectrum, much to his husband’s mortification. A few plants in various stages of their death throes sat on the windowsill, looking ghostlike in the moonlight, amongst glass bottles, misshapen crystals and other purposeless trinkets Caleb had collected over his time. Home, in a word and it made his tired, frayed nerves relax a little to find himself still in amongst it all, his sleepy mind often fretful that he’d wake up one day and find the life he loved so much and had worked so hard to build snatched away.

Mollymauk stirred in the blankets behind him, always slower to wake than Caleb even when their daughter was at full bellow.

He felt his tail buffet the small of his back lazily and a voice that sounded like it was coming from the pits of hell mumble, “Tell me that’s not our baby girl. Tell me that’s the sounds of a ten car pile-up outside our window.”

Caleb managed a rough chuckle, reaching back and stroking his husband’s hair out of his eyes, “Afraid not. I’ll see to her, you go back to sleep.”

Molly slumped immediately back into the pillows from where he’d managed to rise by a few increments. “I adore you,” he moaned, “You’re the light of my life. I’m so blessed.”

“Yeah yeah…” Caleb grinned, staggering up and snatching the closest piece of fabric that looked vaguely t-shirt shaped. It turned out to be the cast t-shirt from Molly’s theatre’s production of Oklahoma.

With that and his slippers, he picked his way around the clutter on the floor and made his way to the nursery, just next door. Doing so, he caught the attention of Frumpkin, curled up on one of Molly’s scarves on top of the dresser. With a blink of his amber eyes, he was up and wobbling sleepily after his master, having apparently taken it to heart that the small, green, noisy little monster his master had brought home a few weeks ago was his responsibility too.

The nursery was a warm, inviting space, all soft butter yellow walls and rainbows painted on the walls and toys spilling off every surface, gifts from their daughter’s team of eager aunts and uncles. However, the effect was a little tarnished by the howling coming from the crib.

“Hey now, hey,” Caleb murmured gently as he reached in and plucked his daughter from her nest of blankets, “What’s the matter?”

Una, still as frighteningly tiny as the day they brought her home, most of her form taken up by the enormous, bat like ears that dwarfed the rest of her, clung to her papa with sharp little nails, hanging off him with a desperation that suggested to him that she’d had yet another nightmare.

“Oh, mein Süßling…” Caleb sighed gently, rocking her in his arms as best he could when she was clawing the front of his shirt, “Everything’s okay, don’t worry.”

Still, the little goblin cried, at a volume that seemed almost unbelievable for how small she was, no matter how many times her papa walked her around the room slowly or murmured to her in soft German or stroked her tight mop of black curls. Frumpkin put his front paws up on Caleb’s shoulder from where he crouched on the changing table, sniffling hopefully at Una, but not even the sight of her friend could make the tears stop.

Nightmares were heartbreakingly common for their new daughter. The nurses at the orphanage couldn’t say how she’d come to be left with them, who had done the leaving, what had happened to her parents, what she’d been through in just the few days she’d been alive before she fell into Caleb and Molly’s laps. But from the way she clung to them, the way she’d wake up crying and shaking in the night, the way she couldn’t seem to shift her perpetual sickness, Caleb couldn’t imagine those days had been sweet. Just another reason he’d brought her home, that he always held her for longer than he really needed to, that he saw a little bit of himself in her large, round eyes.

“Still no luck?”

Caleb looked up, surprised for a moment, seeing a very sleep tousled Mollymauk leaning in the doorway of the nursery, naked but for a loosely tied robe that hung off his lithe shoulders. He felt more than a few stirrings at the sight (parenthood had been seriously eating into their time for other things, not just cleaning).

“No,” he shrugged helplessly, as Una still fussed and grizzled in his arms, “I said you could go back to sleep?”

Molly shook his head, coming to stand by him, “I felt guilty. And besides, this sounds like a two dad job.”

“It might be,” Caleb had to admit, shifting Una to his other shoulder, as if that would make all the difference, “Something’s upset her really badly.”

“Dreams again?” Molly asked delicately, expression softening sympathetically as his husband nodded.

The tiefling pressed a kiss to his daughter’s fuzzy head, feeling the same heavy, bitter uselessness as Caleb. The hardest part about having a baby, they’d quickly realised, was knowing there were some hurts they couldn’t heal for her.

“Here, can you take her for a second?” Caleb sat up a little straighter, an idea suddenly coming to him, “I think I might have something…”

Molly took Una, where she clung to him every bit as tightly as she had to Caleb and whimpered miserably, sliding down to the rocking chair, “Oh?”

The wizard got on his knees in front of them, holding out one palm, “I’ve been practising this, I thought she might like it…”

He moved his long fingers rhythmically, almost as if he was beckoning something that no one could see but him. Molly was confused briefly, until he saw a warm, ethereal glow start to bud between his husband’s fingers. It pulsed softly, leaving tracks of fading light along its path that disappeared after a few moments, growing and unfurling slowly like some odd kind of plant until it broke free of Caleb’s hold and bobbed through the shadowed room, a free floating orb of off white light.

“Wow, babe,” Molly blinked, admiringly. Of course his husband had much more powerful magic than glowing lights but there was something especially beautiful about this, borne of its simplicity, the innocence it seemed to hold as it wavered there in amongst the dark.

“Thanks,” Caleb looked proud as he let another form, more blue than white this time, and then another and another, rose and sunshine and butter and teal, blooming from his palms until the room seemed full of their own, private collection of stars.

And Una was utterly transfixed. Her tears stuttered and stilled, mouth opening in awe to reveal her little rosebud pink tongue, one thin little arm pulling away to reach for them as they floated past.

Molly beamed down at her, hand gently cradling the back of her head, “Look what your clever old papa did for you, darling…”

Caleb snorted, though he was every bit as thrilled at the clear joy on Una’s little face. Nightmares were entirely forgotten, everything they had to worry about, all the chores that needed doing, tomorrow’s anxieties were all completely left behind for the few hours the little family spent together with Caleb’s lights. All the hurts they shared, that would never fully heal faded away just the tiniest bit as they laughed together.

And that was all they could hope for.

#critical role #mollymauk tealeaf #caleb widogast #widomauk #widowmauk #molly/caleb #fluff #modern au #urban fantasy au #they're dads you guys!

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colourinside · 7 years

Text

This Moment Belongs to Us

Weeell... I did announce that this story would still be coming and here it is :) I’m really sorry for the delay but I just wasn’t happy with it at the time and I actually still have some troubles with it, but I figured I might better post this now before it drives me crazy! Anyway, I hope you’ll still enjoy reading it! Allow me to wish you all a happy new year! I guess it’s not too late yet to do so :)

Rose and the Doctor join a New Year’s celebration. At the stroke of midnight, Rose finds herself questioning the meaning of time and change.

Tenth Doctor/Rose Tyler

Word count: 1895

Read it on AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/9211952

She watched as the newborn fire feasted on the dry branches. It exhaled a joyful crackling and sizzling, spat blazing sparks at the crowd as it consumed its New Year’s meal. Her face burned and blushed while she gazed at the flames that towered over her, high as a building, and the heat they radiated reached through the fabric of her clothes to her very skin. Her front was all hot while the stinging December cold sat at her back. But the bonfire had cast a spell on her and she was unable to take her teary eyes off the dancing flames, the wisps of smoke that spiralled towards the starless sky. The stars had covered themselves from view, hid behind a blanket of heavy clouds, but the bonfire shone and blazed in their stead whilst emitting orange sparks – stars of its own. It was the night of its life.

The small crowd chatted and laughed. All they did was consciously wait for the time to pass. They stood on the brink of a new year, the beginning of a new chapter in their lives. It was a gathering of young people, all looking forward to new chances, new challenges, new adventures – the making of new promises, the discovering of new talents, the thrill of new kisses, the excitement of new friendships. But for planet Earth it was just another round of a perpetual course.

They were anonymous in the crowd. Rose had taken the Doctor’s hand, squeezing it with a bright smile.

“This is amazing,” she said. “It’s like a big wall of fire, I mean really big… I’ve never seen anything like it…”

He returned her smile but she picked up on the only faintly belittling look in his eyes. It was as if he meant to say he knew better – bigger, brighter, higher, more impressive, more magnificent, more awe-inspiring. He kept it to himself.

“Yeah, it’s kind of brilliant, isn’t it?” he said instead, as if he meant it. It made her laugh.

But it was. She could see why he would take her here. Of all places on Earth he could have picked to join a New Year’s celebration, this was clearly the most magical one Rose could imagine. Breathtaking even. They were at the top of a hill, the city of Reykjavík at their feet. The roofs of the buildings were topped by a thick coat of snow, the electric lights drew a trail of gold and copper through the streets and on the opposite side of the patch of city there stood a firm, mighty range of snow speckled mountains, keeping watch, touching the misty clouds above.

For the first time since they had arrived, Rose took a moment to glance at the people around them. The couple to her right barely took notice of her and was obviously hoping to be overlooked in the bustle of the last fleeting minutes of the past year. Two young men, both wearing hats. They were huddled together even though there would clearly be enough space for them to stand apart, their gloved fingers tightly entwined. The three people in the row in front of them – two girls with pig tails and a young man – were fervently singing a folk song. Rose was just about to look to her left, when a tall bloke in a long, olive green felt coat addressed the Doctor.

“Just six more minutes to 1953,” he said with a childlike grin, looking at a worn pocket watch. “Are you excited?” Next to him stood a woman. She was wearing a crimson bonnet, short blond curls bobbing up and down as she turned her head to peek at the man’s watch.

“Well, I don’t know,” the Doctor said. “It’s just time passing as time tends to do… But I suppose it can be exciting, feeling time so closely, watching it fly…”

“Absolutely,” the man said, “I also love watching the fireworks! When I was a lad I was terrified of them but now I find them quite entrancing.”

“They certainly are,” the Doctor agreed.

“Pardon,” said the man, seized by a sudden intuition. The innocent excitement in his face gave way to an apologetic smile that was clearly meant to soothe the grim glare he received from the young woman at his side. She had pinched his elbow and now shook her head at him in exasperated disapproval.

“Allow me to introduce myself,” he added and extended a hand to the Doctor, gripping firmly as he accepted.

With an uneasy stutter, he recited their names as if he had memorised this very introduction phrase like one would memorise one of Shakespeare’s sonnets. His name was Lars and the young woman was his wife, Adele. Lars appeared to be heady, like a child, a little awkward, enthusiastic as if he was preparing for the biggest adventure of his live and didn’t want to miss a minute. Evidently, his wife Adele was the one in charge, a governess, a caretaker, reprimanding him whenever he showed himself too impulsive.

After they had completed their round of handshaking, Lars checked his watch again. His hands had kept twitching towards it as if he was aching to see, his big bulging eyes followed the time ticking by, rather controlling it than checking it. “Only four more minutes,” he declared with a start in his voice.

Adele put a gentle hand on her husband’s shoulder. “He is truly obsessed with measuring time,” she said, barely able to keep herself from fondly rolling her eyes. It was as if his odd behaviour embarrassed her. So, she explained him in order to make people understand him.

“Three more minutes,” Lars exclaimed, “the last three minutes of 1952!” He clutched his chest in devotion.

Rose felt herself holding her breath even though she didn’t entirely understand why. This moment was her past, a place where time should not have any power over her. Those last three minutes to a year long gone should not move her as much as they did. Wherever she went, time held an unspoken significance. It guided, it rushed, it dragged but it never passed at the right pace. It was impossible to freeze moments and keep them in a snow globe because they would fade into the past. Time was not tangible. One could never catch it with a string and keep it still, it would always run, run, run – run away. Like a gargling brook. Time was a sovereign that shaped the way people understood the universe. It created things that mattered, marked ends and beginnings.

“Did you make any resolutions?” Adele asked, holding up the conversation while her husband was preoccupied with following the passing of the seconds.

“Oh,” the Doctor said, looking at the sky. Occasionally, there were a few lonely bursts of colour sprinkling the air, heralds of the anticipated spectacle.

“I have some all-time resolutions. They never really change…” He turned his head, facing Rose. “What about you, hm?” he asked.

“Well…” Rose said. She hadn’t made up her mind yet. However, she could think of one permanent resolution and a smile tugged at the corner of her lips at the thought. She squeezed the Doctor’s hand once more. “I suppose not… I think I will just go wherever the new year takes me…”

She used to put together a list of New Year’s resolutions. Find a more exciting job, be a support to mum, stop wanting to live other people’s lives, read Charles Dickens, drink less… A new year used to mark a new try, a new chance to do the right things. But the tradition of specifying resolutions had lost meaning once Rose had left behind the mundane temporal order of her former existence.

“Here we go!” Lars interrupted her thoughts. The fireworks had started. “Happy New Year!”

The crowd ended their conversations as they broke into murmurs of oooh, aaaah and variations of Happy New Year at the sight of the colours exploding above the city. Flakes of red and green, of blue and gold rained down on the roofs, the bursting and cracking sounds they made even drowned out the hissing and sizzling of the big bonfire. Rose didn’t know where to look first. There were pillars of smoke and colour rising everywhere, and as they grew they filled the air with patterns of grey mist and gaudy sparks. The Doctor laughed out loud with joy.

“This is fantastic!” he shouted through the noise.

“It’s a new year… 1953… right here and now…” Rose said, quietly. “I can’t believe it…” Suddenly, time stopped making sense to her.

“Why not?” the Doctor asked, “It’s right in front of you… a new beginning!”

Only it wasn’t. This was an old year but she experienced it being new. She was frozen in a today with people who would have a different line of tomorrows. She came from a different present and she felt like an intruder.

“It’s strange…” she whispered. “There are new years all the time…. We could have gone to any place, any year… And now, we just stand in this day as if it was our own, but it isn’t, it belongs to those people... This is not our new year, not our 1953.”

Instead of the fireworks, Rose looked at the people. The friends, the lovers, the husbands and wives, the mothers, the fathers, the children, the brothers and sisters. Just minutes ago, they thought they could grip the future and now the future had caught up with them, at the stroke of midnight, the tick of a clock. This was the moment where the past met the future, where the ending touched the beginning to create an infinite loop. And this was just another day, taking its place, passing.

The Doctor remained silent. Rose could see the thoughtful furrow of his brow as he watched the sky, the colours of the fireworks tinting the edges of his face.

“And while all that happens, we are just spectators,” Rose mumbled, more to herself than to the Doctor. “We will never fully understand…

“How do you do that, Doctor?” She studied his stoic face. He never saw the seasons change, never saw a whole year pass in its consistency. He could enter the years at will and now he had just walked into a new one in a blink of an eye and it had happened without his conscious doing.

“I enjoy the little things, the bits and pieces…” he said merrily, after a while. He smiled down at her and moved closer. “Happy New Year.” Rose could hear the endless line of “new”s in his voice. She returned his smile.

All around them, couples greeted the new year with a kiss. To their left, Lars clumsily kissed Adele. To their right, the two young men used their hats to shield themselves from scrutiny as they brought their lips together in a quick peck.

Rose’s eyes met the Doctor’s. The blazing bonfire and the colours of the fireworks reflected in the comforting darkness within them. He slowly put one hand on her cheek that felt hot beneath his touch, despite the biting cold around them. And then, he kissed her. Gently, sweetly, briefly. The kiss held a thousand unspoken resolutions. And even if 1953 didn’t belong to them, this moment of it did.

#doctor who #fanfiction #tenth doctor #rose tyler #happy new year #sorry i'm late #again #so so sorry

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