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#I don’t want people to talk to me because they see my post venting about this shit

super-kristuff · 1 year

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So, I’ve been really into Magic lately, and I went to tournament yesterday and lost. And like, it has really put me in a bad mood?

Like, I’ve been trying to think sit and think about it, because honestly, it has put me in a really bad mood, which makes me think I’m really upset about something bigger. So, I’m trying to write it down to help think about it.

Currently, I think the biggest thing that is bothering me is that I was wrong. I was really hopeful and really excited to play in the tournament. My school had a snow day, and I spent most of the day planning my deck, swapping out cards, and building something that I felt was really impressive. And like, I’m not bothered that I lost. I’m bothered that I lost badly. I don’t think I made any kind of impactful play throughout the entire four hour tournament. In game three, my teammate asked me if I had ever played the deck before.

And like, I think I’ve been really trying to get into Magic in order to socialize. I just don’t know people in the area, and I really want to get out and do things. So like, even though my teammate was really cool and I don’t really think they were bummed out, I think I’m worried that doing badly in the game means I’m doing badly at socializing?

Idk. I also think it’s tied into how I view myself. Because like, I am very upset that I was wrong. That, this was one of the rare times where I had the time, motivation, and resources to build something and show it off, and in the end, it wasn’t impressive at all. Like, I did it! I built the thing! I put all of my efforts into building the deck, and for it to perform the way it did suggests that my problem with creating things isn’t time, motivation, or resources, but instead the problem is that it’s me making it.

And like, I’ve been struggling with months at work to make engaging and fun classes that are also informative. And like, I also haven’t made any videogames in months? Like, I built that visual novel structure, and I was like, cool, if I just write a story and make some art, I’ll have a really impressive video game. So like, not being able to build a good deck for a game makes me feel like I can’t build anything.

And like, I was feeling kind of positive after writing the social paragraph. Like, writing it out and thinking about it, I like to believe in people. I am starting to get to know the people that play magic, and I kind of trust that they are cool and were interested in the things I was doing even if they didn’t pan out.

But then the self paragraph brought me back down. Like, I can’t just be like, “oh, my perception was wrong again. I’m actually great at everything, and I just need to change my perspective in regards to how I view myself.” Because the deck didn’t perform. I very much have evidence that I wasn’t able to make the thing.

And so, I think I’m caught up in analyzing where things went wrong. Trying to pick out the bad cards and replace them with other, more viable cards. And it’s stopping me from moving on? Like, I’m worried that my mindset of “it is always possible to improve myself and get better” is what’s making me feel bad. But, I feel giving that up means I’ll stop improving.

And I want to improve so I can make the things I want to make. So, maybe I interpret moving on as giving up?

Idk. I feel better now. I’m starting to get lost in all the layers of self-abstraction, so I think I’ll just do something else for a while. Maybe I’ll cook something? Or just watch YouTube videos. More likely the later.

Anyway, I hope anyone reading this is having a wonderful day.

#vent #rant #ok additional thoughts #I was thinking about whether I should actually post this #and like I don’t know if I want or don’t want my friends to see this #and like I think I want to post it so they can see it and think about me #but I don’t want to message them because I don’t really want to talk about it #and like maybe that’s a problem #maybe I need to be more open with my friends and actually talk to other people #instead of speaking into a bubble #but like I also feel this serves a purpose of letting me clear my thoughts #which I don’t feel talking does #idk I’m done now #bye

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junie-buggle · 9 months

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Vent

When your disability takes away yet another thing you wanted to do and you’ve been having such bad symptoms for so long recently and you’ve already had so much taken away from you and you thought this was reasonable and now you’re in pain and so sick having been unable once again to live and what’s the point. And you’ve been hurt so much in the past by therapists both by callousness and by the complexity of your case but you’ve been so mentally ill for so long and you’ve been wanting to die and suffering mentally more and more so you finally made an appointment and want to try again but last week they cancelled on your intake on the day of because your therapist was sick and now it’s supposed to be tomorrow but you think you probably won’t get better by then but if you cancel it’ll be after the courtesy period so they will charge you and you’re thinking you just can’t deal with this anymore.

#tw vent #suicide tw #abuse tw #I don’t usually post anything like this #but I’m so lonely and can’t talk about this to anyone in my life #I have no friends because I got sick and then got abused by two people in a row #and so I lost everyone but my family #and I love them so much but my parents have also hurt me #especially when I was younger #I don’t think I was able to form healthy emotions and attachments #I’m scared to talk to anyone about this bc my abusers used their suicidal ideation to threaten me and trap me #I don’t want to hurt anyone so I don’t talk about it #I told my mom and she didn’t get worried or anything and she doesn’t mention it #but I don’t want to hurt them especially my sister she is so precious to me #and my cat who I love dearly and she relies on me so much #but I just don’t see the point anymore #I’m so sick that my old way of clinging to life isn’t working anymore #I used to think I could live for my characters and stories #bc they wouldn’t exist without me #but that doesn’t matter bc who cares except me anyways #no one will read this but I just needed to say it.#I just don’t know why anymore.#I can’t do it.

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xyztrio721 · 2 years

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I apologize for the sudden vent post (?), but I just wanted to get something off of my chest.

I don’t want to be in college right now. My heart is not in my human biology class at all, and I think that’s having a negative impact on my academics. I’m constantly overwhelmed by the amount of information I have to learn from the lectures, I’m having difficulty finishing the labs I get each class, I get very stressed out about whether or not I can get my homework done on time, I’m having difficulty concentrating on reading the textbook and studying, I’m pretty sure I did poorly on my first test for the class, I have little to no confidence on how well I’ll do on the rests of the tests and the three lab practicals I have to do over the course of the class, and I keep forgetting that I have to make a PowerPoint presentation on a disease I’m interesting in researching. Overall, I am not doing so hot in this class. I want to drop out and take a break from college for maybe a year or so because I think these might be signs of burnout/a mental health disorder, but I’m afraid I might not be able do that.

There are a few reasons for this, one of the big ones being that I don’t know if my college will allow me to take a break for a year. I don’t know if I’ll be punished in terms of not receiving financial aid, being kicked out of the honor society I’m a part of (I’m a part of Phi Theta Kappa), falling behind on my degree (I have somewhere between 6-8 classes left until I graduate), or not being reaccepted once I come back. I don’t know if I have a good enough reason to take a break (I don’t think mental health issues are a good enough reason to leave college for a year, at least in the eyes of my college). I don’t know what I want to do during the break, though I do want to find a job, learn to drive (I failed my first driving test and will likely have to retake the permit knowledge test because my permit is about to expire in two months), and learn how to function like a normal person for once in my life (I’m terrified of people in general and don’t know how to converse with anyone, including my friends and parents). I just want to become an adult, which I should have done two years ago, but couldn’t because I’ve been so focused on school for two (almost three) years now and have not yet found a way to balance my life outside of school with my academic life.

Another big reason as to why I may not be able to take a break from college is my parents. My parents don’t seem to understand why school stresses me out so much, even if I only have one class this semester. I tried to talk to my dad about this, and he was pretty much annoyed with me for wanting to drop human biology before I even started the class, saying something along the lines of “It’s just one class. You can do this”. As you can imagine, this attitude does not help me in the slightest. If anything, it makes me feel worse, as I’ve been viewing myself as a coward who can’t even handle taking a single class during a single semester in college (which isn’t new, since I’ve felt like a coward for not being able to handle school from an emotional standpoint for years now) as of late. My mom likely feels the same way, which makes this whole situation even more infuriating.

Combined with the realization that my parents are not as supportive of me as I thought they were, the realization that I may have been a victim of emotional abuse from my mother, and the ongoing investigation of whether or not I have ADD/ADHD or ASD (or both), and I think you can understand why I want to take a break from college.

But it’s never going to happen, isn’t it? Not when my parents seem to be pressuring me (both intentionally and unintentionally) to finish college as soon as possible, and not when I don’t know if my college will even consider letting me take a year-long break.

I feel so trapped… I wish I knew where I could find some help me get through this and/or help me figure out how to take a break from college, but I have no idea where to look…

#//vent #//vent post #(?)#I’m sick of having to deal with constant stress over whether or not I’ll succeed in my classes #I’m sick of wanting to die because I have to deal with mental health issues college and possibly unsupportive parents at the same time #I’m sick of feeling lonely because I’m afraid of approaching people #I’m sick of not feeling like an adult #and I’m sick of my parents treating me as if I were a child still #I’m just so… tired #//suicide mention #//suicidal thoughts #in the tags at least #I want help but I don’t know where to get it #other than the two therapists I’m seeing right now #I don’t know who I should turn to to talk about this #//abuse mention #//emotional abuse

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satellite-evans · 8 months

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poets & soulmates

Pairing: Harry Styles x reader

Summary: Harry doesn’t know how to react when he learns that you don’t believe in soulmates.

Word count: a cute little blurb

Warnings: angst? Flufffff

A/N: heyyyyy!!!!!

It’s been ages since I last posted a fic, so I am soooo excited to post my very first Harry Styles one! I really hope you guys like it, I’ve worked on this for a while, so let’s see how it goes. I’m very excited and nervous to post this, but I am so happy to be back! Please tell me what you guys think and give me as much as feedback as you can so I can grow and be a better Harry fic writer for you all xxx

English is not my first language, so I apologize if I made any (grammar) mistakes. Feedback, requests, talks, vents, recommendations or just simple questions are always welcome.

Happy reading xxx

I do NOT give permission for my work to be translated or reposted on here or any other site.

If you had to describe the love you shared with Harry with a poem, you would probably choose the one from Edgar Allan Poe.

“We loved with a love that was more than love.”

It said so much in such few words; the best description of your love for him.

Because it is true, it is more than love. Always had been. If you took the love out of the relationship, you and Harry would be left with so much to survive. There was trust, for example. And also intimacy. Not to forget there was an understanding between you, too, that no one understood. If you were in a room with thousands of people, he would recognize you, every single time. Like you were a shining diamond between rocks. The effect you both had on each other, was beyond explaining in chemistry. Harry could touch you, and the breath that would escape from your lips oh so silently would already expose the effect he had on you.

Harry was no different, either. Seeing you smile proudly when you looked at him, made him turn into dust, that you blew away with your eyes. But he was afraid at first. To love.

He was afraid to love you.

For him, you were a stunning mystery. You carried things deep inside you that no one understood, and Harry was afraid to fail like the others. In his eyes, you were like the ocean and he was just a man who loved the waves but was completely terrified of swimming.

How couldn’t he be? At twenty nine, everyone had an idea in their head about how Harry was in relationships. Some said that he was single because he had commitment issues, others said the reason he was still alone was that he was too much of a playboy.

Yes, he had a few relationships before you and some of them did not end well, but Harry always respected and treated them with his kindness, always wanted the best for them.

He would do everything for his love, for you.

“Hey, love?” He asked you, clearly with hesitation. The way his voice shook a little didn’t go unnoticed by you in his London home where the both of you were lying in his bed. After spring came, Harry offered you to stay with him until summer so the two of you could enjoy long walks in the park with his favorite companion. You never said yes to an offer so quickly before in your life.

“Yes H, everything okay?”

How? How was it that every time Harry wanted to start a subject that was sensitive for him, you already knew by just the way he asked you his first question? Call it magic, call it luck. Harry liked to call it love.

“Do you think we’re soulmates? Like-I mean, we would be together and we will be forever?”

He didn’t know why that question was so important to him, but it was. He wanted to know your opinions and thoughts about the future both of you had. Every time Harry was dreaming about his future and how it would look, he realized you were always there. In the audience when he opened his biggest show ever, in the delivery room when he held his baby for the first time, everywhere. So your answer was very important to him. He wanted- no; he needed to know if he was present in your future as much as you were present in his.

“No, I don’t think we are. But that’s because I don’t believe in soulmates.”

Ouch. That shouldn’t have hurt him, but it did. Blaming you would be pointless. You didn’t believe in the whole idea of soulmates, but that didn’t make him less insecure. He knew it was too good to be true. That you were too good to be true.

The whole aura of the room changed and Harry slowly got up from where he was lying between your legs. You saw that his demeanor changed and that the happy, slightly tired Harry got replaced with a sad Harry.

“Hey, hey what’s that all about? Why the sad face?”

Honesty was one thing you both took extremely seriously. So that’s what you wanted to do this time, too. But without realizing you broke slightly Harry’s heart.

“It’s nothing, really. You don’t have to believe we are soulmates. I don’t know why I’m sad if I am being honest.” He said with a slight smirk that didn’t reach his eyes. He was clearly devastated by your answer.

You sat closer to him on his bed, touched his cheeks with your hands, and stared him deeply into his eyes. Harry already felt his heartbeat going faster. It was going so fast that he thought he was going to have a stroke. He held on to your arm dearly, so if he fainted, you could hold him. Like you always had been.

“I don’t believe in soulmates, and I don’t think that you & I were meant to end up together. What I believe is that we fell in love & that we worked hard for our relationship. I mean, look at you, you’re an amazing person with qualities so great that an individual can only dream of having those. Every woman is lucky to have you. I am from another country and I am younger than you. Remember all the news that they made about us when we first started going out? They told me I was a gold digger, that you were too good for me, that you cheated on me, and so on. But we didn’t listen to any of them. We let our love grow because we knew, H. We knew that what we had was special, and not everybody was lucky enough to feel what we felt. So no, I don’t think we are soulmates. But you are the one for me; Harry. You were in my past when I didn’t even know. You are my person in the present, And you will be in the future. Because I will always, undoubtedly, love you.”

Without waiting for his response, you connected your lips with his. You knew he was sensitive and these bare confessions took a toll on him, so you just kissed him, to let him know it was okay. That you were there for him, always.

“Just give me 3-5 business days, and I’ll come up with even a bigger love confession, promise.”

Harry said, after he broke the bruising kiss.

He wasn’t lying. Harry had no words to say to you. He knew you loved him, but not that much. It was like his brain & heart were on fire and you just put them out with your words. Relief washed over him, and like a cherry on his favorite cake, you kissed him with adoration.

“Oh, I know you will. It’s a known fact that you were always better with words, but just so you know, you don’t have to. I feel your love every time you look at me. Hate to break it to you, but your eyes give it away how much you love me, Styles.”

He didn’t care about the idea of the whole soulmate anymore. He felt so stupid that he was thinking about that. The love that the both of you shared, was more special, and rare. The two of you were even better than soulmates.

“That I do, Y/N. That I do. I love you so fucking much. It sometimes hurts. It hurts not to touch you, not to be near you, not to kiss you.”

He closed the gap between you with a passionate kiss again, that knocked your breath away. Your whole body was on fire, not knowing what to do. With every touch of his on your skin, the fire started to get more and more aggressive. He released your lips, but stayed close, so you could feel his breath on your lips and he could hear your heartbeat going faster.

“I am no poet, Y/N but just know that if I was, you would be my biggest inspiration.”

You looked him in the eyes, trying to control your breathing, but it was a lost cause. His blue eyes were like ice digging into your heart, and the only thing you could do was surrender.

“That might be the best poem I’ve ever heard.”

#harry styles imagine #harry styles fic #harry styles #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #fluff #harry styles blurb #harry styles fanfic #harry styles x y/n

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aclowntiny · 9 months

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First ‘I Love You’ With Seventeen

Since Ateez got one & all! 😄 Warning: long post! 😂

S.Coups

Almost every time you spent time with Seungcheol and the guys, you ended up taking care of them somehow, breaking up spats or cooking for them or even just satisfying certain members’ desire for attention. Not that you were anywhere near a de facto leader- in fact, it was just like you were parenting them. And while that made Choi ‘Family of Six’ Seungcheol fall over himself, head over heels to show you appreciation and affection every time, sometimes he needed you to himself.

This was one of those times.

The jacuzzi water was warm as it bubbled around you two, arms hanging out the edge and glasses in hand like anyone high society in movies would do. Seungcheol nuzzled affectionately into your cheek, grinning at the way you giggled his name when his nose brushed your skin.

“This is nice, isn’t it? Just you and me,” he murmured.

“You and me and the moon,” you hummed cheerily, “it’s wonderful, not that I don’t love the guys, but this must be what parents feel like when they go on vacation together.”

So you saw it too? Cute. “They love you, you know. And I can see why. But I loved you first,” Seungcheol remarked, the words slipping out as he kisses your cheek, feeling whole right there with you at his side.

“Well, that’s good,” you replied, smile so beautiful Seungcheol didn’t even need to look at the stars to see a shine, “because I love them, but I love you more.”

Setting down his glass, Seungcheol swept you into his arms, pulling you for a real kiss as you both repeated your confession, warm in both the water and your embrace.

Jeonghan

Life was kind to you. You had the most loving and understanding boyfriend anyone could ask for. Jeonghan was the best listener you’d ever met, and while you were careful not to abuse that, he let you know time and time again that he cared, that you could talk to him.

So hesitant as you were, you had gone to him one night after a bad day at work, saying you didn’t want to dwell too hard but needed a vent, and all he did was pull you to his lap without another question asked. That day had brought dealings with a particularly rude person, someone who’d taken a low blow at your appearance and unfortunately chosen something you were sensitive about. As you rested with your head in Jeonghan’s lap, his hand playing with your hair, you sighed that though you had a lot of blessings in life, you just wish that one thing at least would go away.

“You know that says more about them than it does about you, right?” Jeonghan began softly. “You would never tear someone down like that, would you?”

“Of course not,” you replied instantly, no thought even necessary.

“That’s because you’re a nice person. You don’t feel the need to cover your flaws with someone else’s or feel better than them. Even if you are in my mind,” he joked, squishing your cheek and bringing your first genuine smile and giggle of the day out.

“Don’t worry about what strangers think, ok? Those things you don’t like about yourself? I think they’re beautiful,” Jeonghan peers down at you with a soft smile, dark eyes sparkling, “I love them. I love you.”

As much as people think of your boyfriend as some sort of jokester, you know he’d never joke about a thing like that. That fond look like he sees the whole world? That really is for you. He truly loves you as you are. Tears welled in your eyes, only to fall back as you reached up, hand brushing along the curve of Jeonghan’s cheek.

“I can say all the same to you, Jeonghan. I love you, too.”

Joshua

Joshua wanted to fall in love first. Wasn’t a fan of being flirted with, having passes made at him, anything that felt disingenuous. What he wanted was a reality, a friendship that carried through into the greatest of bonds, something that he found for himself.

He found you. Well, sort of. When he met you, you treated him like anyone else. Cared to ask him deeper questions, like what the meaning of music was to him or if he could have any one piece of knowledge, what it would be. Let yourself loose and were your silly, smart, kind self very quickly, and he admired your comfort in that side of yourself. Or the resistence to social inhibitions at least, even if it was a challenge.

He hadn’t even expected to really fall for you, but the more you spoke, the less he could help it. You two just made sense together, his energy calming you and yours encouraging Joshua’s fun side- anything to keep you laughing with him, and laugh together you did!

Selfish as it sounded, he didn’t want anyone else to make you laugh like that. He wanted your heart to carry him as his did you, so when you agreed to date him, confessed you’d love that, wore the bracelet he’d made you with his initial on it, his heart just melted. Much as you deserved your freedom, Joshua wanted to be a home to you, and now it was time to tell you that.

You notice he’s that much more loving to you by the way he looks at you, the way he rushes around to open the car door for you and the way his arm slides up and down yours as you make your way into the restaurant he reserved a nice dinner for you two at.

You know him well enough to recognize that he’s biting his tongue about something, like his whole mind is leaning on the edge of his seat as he listens to you, but you know he takes time sometimes to speak his mind- it’s just Joshua’s nature, and you can accept that. You love him, after all, and that’s part of that.

So you keep talking, joking around along with your boyfriend as he reminisces on something embarrassing that happened to him in high school you still joke about, and you remind him of that funny baseball game trip you took with your grandparents.

“I hope I’m as lively as my great-grandpa is at that age, the way he climbed over the bench!"

"Minus the mustard," Joshua chuckled.

"Minus the mustard," you agreed, "I'd like to be a mustard-free grandparent."

Grandparent. One word and flashes of imagination burst through Joshua's mind, wondering what you two would look like as the quintessential old married couple, how many grandkids you'd have- and here he thought he hated thinking like that.

“Ha, that's a great image- I can almost see it. I see a future with you, you know,” Joshua tells you, taking your hand in his, eyes locked on yours. They aren’t searching, though- all you can see is pure joy, reassurance.

You can’t help the warmth that rises to your cheeks. “And of course I can see you in mine,” you reply.

“I love you,” you both say at the same time, and that’s how Joshua knows it’s real- you’ve found it together.

Jun

Welcome to the longest day ever. As he trudged his way home, that was all Junhui could think. Travel was fun, but also so grueling between work, jet lag, and little sleep. All he wanted to do was eat something and crash. Then he’d sleep for eight to twelve hours and wake up grateful for all the experiences that were still a bit hazy in his mind.

As he opened the door, sweet relief flooded him, and yet it was the tiniest bit strange entering the solitude. At least until-

“Welcome home!”

He almost jumped, just barely managed to quell his nerves enough to remain steady. Turning, he saw you standing at the table, food laid out and even a little cake that said ‘Welcome Back Junnie!!! > ω <’ frosted on top.

He was grateful enough you’d taken care of things while he was gone, but making him a late dinner? That adorable cake? He wasn’t even upset by the break of solitude, he realized, because time with you was still going to feel like ‘me time’. And who wouldn’t be overjoyed to see someone stayed up late to cook just for you? No, overjoyed wasn’t it, he reflected as he fell into your arms, he was in love.

“I’m home,” he said, and as if it would make it real he repeated it, “I’m home.”

“It feels good to be back, huh? I knew a party would be annoying, but figured you’d need something to eat, so welcome home,” you told him.

As you separated, Junhui held you a bit closer than arms’ length, hands on your shoulders as he shook his head, chuckling to himself. “No, you’re home. It’s you I missed the most this whole time, (y/n). I love you.”

And the way your face slowly, beautifully drifted into a grin, your hands sliding back up to pull him in, Junhui sighed in relief and giggled with delirious, sleepless joy, knowing you’d found your home, too.

Hoshi

You and Soonyoung sat cuddled together on the couch, his arm around you as you chatted…or you had been, but that didn’t always last with you two. One of you- it was a toss-up on who, honestly- would inevitably say something that had you both laughing like fools, normal conversation and breathing alike almost completely abandoned.

Such was one of those times as you sat connected but folded as your sides were about to split in the kind of mirth that makes you feel worked out afterward. You often described it as the best feeling, so it was fitting to share it with Soonyoung, your frequently-cited other half. That was part of why you-

“I love you!”

It was as if he read your mind, the way the words fell so abruptly, spontaneously, wonderfully from his lips as you thought a near variant. You could tell by the sudden ‘o’ shape his lips took, followed immediately by the wide, adorable grin you loved so much, that Soonyoung hadn’t even known he was going to say it, it just slipped out in between laughs.

“Uh, well, that is, I mean-”

“I love you too, Soonyoung.”

“Ok, good, because I really actually love you a lot and-”

“I love you a lot too,” you cut off his stammering, hands cupping his cheeks and yanking him into a kiss that was also no laughing matter.

No flowers, no frills, but as you sat there making out with your favorite partner in crime on the couch, you knew you wouldn’t want your confession any other way.

Wonwoo

“Wow, this is beautiful! We’re really going out here?”

Out here, in this case, being the lake you rapidly approached, all but running down the dock to the little boat your boyfriend had rented. Trees surrounded the secluded spot, draping its reflections in green that reached endlessly for the sky.

“M-hm,” Wonwoo replied contentedly, expression bright as he followed behind you at a more normal pace.

"How romantic!" You gushed, taking in the sprawling water as Wonwoo extended a hand, gently taking yours in it as he lowered you onto the cushioned bench like a true gentleman.

"I know," Wonwoo agreed as he untied the boat, earning a chuckle from you, "I wanted a day with just us and nature."

Nature. Just like any life in earth, your relationship had taken time, nourishment, and care to grow. And being at Wonwoo's side was natural for you; his presence was calming, but not stifling. Joy, excitement, laughter all bubbled up, but not with the same tension, you reflected as you cut further across the blue expanse.

"What are you thinking about?" Wonwoo asks, a hand still guiding your vessel, palming the controls effortlessly. Not that you were staring or anything.

You lean on the side of the boat, watching the water ever so slightly part. "How you bring out the best in me."

"You?" Wonwoo breathed as you eased to a stop. "You bring out the best in me. Pull me out of my shell. Sometimes it feels easier to stay in the background, just take it all in. Sometimes I would wonder if I would ever truly catch the eye of someone who sees me. And when I'm with you, I feel interesting. I feel light. Happy, like everything around me is clear. When we're together, I'm whole, simple as that. I wanted to have this moment to tell you I love you, (y/n)." As he said 'this moment', his hand waved over the tree-lined horizon, emphasizing the pinkening sunset tinting the clouds like watercolor over the forest.

No rush had ever overcome your heart like that. You wanted to cut the tension with something silly, exclaim in surprise, but neither of you deserved that. This truly was a moment to enjoy, one of life's blessings to live in your heart whenever you needed gratitude, you thought as you peered into Wonwoo's eyes.

See? Totally balanced energy. Reaching over, you rested your hand over his.

"I couldn't agree more. I guess this is a pretty good moment to tell you I love you, too," you reply with a smile that only widens his.

Woozi

It was really such a surprise. Jihoon hadn't expected you to push your way into his heart, not when he'd thought those doors were still shut for a long time to come. And even just the way that he was, busy and not exactly of social personality, he hadn't exactly been planning on falling in love.

But that's the thing with love- one didn't exactly plan on it. You kept things up even when he thought he was being awkward, showed genuine interest in his passions, supported him, built onto it with small ideas that had him inspired even though they were just offhand comments to you. You could read him so well, even when he thought he needed to act. He didn't. You told him so. And being with someone so introverted, you learned well how to sacrifice big activities and nights out if you even wanted them that often.

"As long as I'm with you," you'd say with a smile, and that small, small phrase had looped its way around Jihoon's brain. Somehow, it said everything he wanted to say.

As long as I'm with you.

He didn't want to do it in the studio- you'd spent enough time there for him as it was. No need to do everything in his workplace, not when this was an us thing. So he went over to yours, the space that belonged to you and less frequently housed your time together for myriad reasons, though it felt right. He ordered your favorite for dinner, let you choose what you two would watch, correctly guessing it was going to be your favorite movie. Comfort movie, you always called it. Comfort person, he always called you.

You got the delivery, he threw the blankets down. You played the DVD, he laughed at every joking comment and impression you did even if you did them every time. Doing separate things, but you two were in total sync.

But finally, you spoke outside of the screen. "I-I really like spending time together here, too. I'm glad you were able to make it."

Your shy smile had Jihoon's heart doing loop-de-loops- maybe you were worried he'd think you were imposing? You were not.

"Of course," he replied, hand resting over yours as his eyes studied your beautiful features, features that had inspired more than a few lyrics, even if some got tossed in the end, "you do a lot for me, it's only right I do it for you. It's not always easy, but you're such a trooper. I love you, you know."

It shouldn’t be a big deal. You could feel it already, right? Seokmin tried his best every day for it to show, to create a world where you could bask in the feeling of it like the gift you were.

So why did it seem so hard to tell you he loves you?

Maybe because of his personality- you had to know it was in earnest, not just a joke, not him trying to be cute. His heart beating faster whenever he saw you, the strength you gave him to do anything because you believed in him, and he wished you guys could swap eyes to see how beautiful and precious you were to him.

Wait, so just…say all of that? Maybe too lengthy despite its verity. Maybe something he could practice? No, no script for this, just his heart held out to you. And maybe, just maybe, you’d see he means it if he’s serious, if you’re standing in your favorite place as he says it, somewhere he’d go every day if it made you smile.

And so he takes you there, practically just waving a hand at the potential time and expense if you bring it up. You're worth it, he tells you. All he wants is to have fun with you, you know. To share in something that makes you you.

Your face lights up as soon as you set foot in your favorite destination. “Seriously, I can’t thank you enough! Why are you doing this all of a sudden?”

The look in your eyes as you swivel to face him unleashes something, a soaring in his chest that he can no longer ignore- he wonders how he could have for so long. Like a wave crashing on a sea-bound rock, the words burst forth.

“Because I love you.”

Seokmin just, just gets in a glimpse of the way your eyes widen, shine even brighter if that’s possible, before you’re launching into his arms, giggling “I love you, too”.

Mingyu

He wanted to tackle you. He wanted to scoop you up and fly you off to some private island and tell you it’s yours, he’d give you the world if he could. But that’s just how dramatic love made Kim Mingyu. As it was, not really an option. And he knew you- that’s not what you’d want, and this was one hundred percent beyond a shadow of a doubt all about you.

But that was it, the gloves were…well, on, actually, as Mjngyu made his way into the kitchen for something that would be much more your speed. Something that, funny as the mental image would be, would not earn him a smack on the chest or a complaint about time and money. Just the thought made him smile. Pretty much any thought of you made Mingyu smile, even on days he wanted to cry, days where being his kind self took work.

And that was how he knew.

“Alright, alright, let’s see!” You laughed as your boyfriend took you by the shoulders, practically jogging you down the hall in excitement that took over you like the happiest of viruses. “What is it? You’re acting like you won the lottery!”

“I did,” he murmured into your ear as you rounded the corner, taking in all that he had set up for you.

The table perfectly set, a gorgeous vase of flowers and two candles a respectable distance from them as centers. Plates, cups, a wine bottle, dishes all at the ready for the meal set just where you could see it- a favorite from your home, clearly handmade.

“Mingyu, you-”. Your voice failed you momentarily beneath your ballooning heart, “how did you know to make this?”

“Got the recipe from your family,” he replied, and you swooned even more with mirth at the pride you heard in his voice, envisioning it even before you turned around to take in the real thing. Just as you thought he was standing quite straight, shoulders out and handsome grin flashing in victory.

“All this for-”

“For you, yes,” he took your hand, gazing into your eyes in the blinding way that always made your knees a bit weak, “I hope it shows. I couldn’t think of a better way to tell you I love you. …And believe me, I thought about it a lot.”

And there he was, sweet and innocent and wonderful as ever despite the bravado that made you laugh, shaking your head in utter wonder as you fell into his arms, feeling them close around you and trace your back in a way that said I’m never letting you go.

“Mingyu, I love you, too. So much.”

The8

Love is something Minghao considers often. Platonic, familial love that keeps him moving forward when things get difficult. The special love he shares with his friends that can keep him smiling in a hard time, laughing at nothing on a fishing trip or bouncing on a stage with his dear bandmates no matter how hot the weather is. The love fans have, whether that's a real love or not- much contemplation went into that area, what was the feeling of possession versus what was love.

Romantic love? Sure, he thought about that, too, and the answer to any doubts on that subject was modeled by none other than his parents, the way they raised him and brought each other's spirits up with full hearts you could just see in their eyes.

And he saw it in his own when he was with you. It was a truth as evident as the nose on his face or the color of his walls, and it's within those walls that the words slip forth. During a simple moment at home, just seeing you standing in his kitchen cracking eggs into a pan in the morning and all feels right in Minghao's world. It was you he wanted this life with, this home, this synergy. And the thought of bringing up a little mini-you? He was surprised how fast his heart beat at the thought.

Shuffling in behind you, he wrapped his arms around your middle as you cooked, feeling your cheek rise in a smile against his head and smiling right back.

"Good morning," you said, "It's a new day."

And those words of yours were like divine intervention, just another piece of proof you two were operating on the same frequency. "Good morning. It is. I'm so thankful for this day, when I can tell you how much I love you."

Seungkwan

"The beach wasn't the surprise?" You burst out incredulously.

Seungkwan had already brought you to gorgeous shores, the sound of waves crashing washing away worry, faithlessness, restlessness from your heart. There you'd both strolled for who knew how long, chatting idly, trading seashells, laughing lots as always, not a cloud in your physical or metaphorical skies.

And then he tells you he has a surprise for you.

At your question, he shakes his head, smiling shyly. "No, but I wanted to have this day with you. To make you happy and have a beautiful place for it all.

"You're so sweet!" As is their habit, as if they have a mind of their own, your arms find their way around his waist, pulling him closer to you.

Seungkwan melts into your touch, leaning forward just so until your foreheads touch. He stays like that a moment, hands on you as well, as if soaking in your warmth to carry with him. Then his arms are sliding down, gently unlocking from the embrace, though his hand gives yours a squeeze on the way out.

And he starts singing. That voice of his- you could never get enough, your eyes fluttering in threats to shut in bliss at the sound of it, and yet you want to stare, to drink in the sight. The words are familiar as home even though it's been a while since you've heard them, and your face immediately goes alight.

"I know this song," you remark quietly with a smile, watching the corners of Seungkwan's lips rise happily as he continued pouring forth sweet words.

It's a love song, probably about ten years old, and boy does it bring back memories of a simpler time, of wild imaginings of love as only conjured by a blissfully ignorant, sweet innocent mind. Back then, love could be whatever you wanted it to be. And right now, that idea doesn't seem so far off. Not when you have someone as encouraging, as faithful, as comforting and completely in tune with you as Seungkwan at your side. The man standing before you truly believes you can be anything and will do anything to help you achieve it.

As the last notes resound across your heart like carven sheet music, you're almost frozen to the spot, bare feet starting to sink into the sand as you grin dreamily.

"You remember that song?"

"Remember it?" You light up further, hands clasped. "I love that song! I used to insist it would be my wedding song when I was fifteen!"

"I wanted to learn it for you," Seungkwan continues, rubbing the back of his neck shyly with one hand while the other grabs for yours, "to make a moment worthy of telling you I love you."

Seungkwan could have told you he loved you in a McDonald's parking lot and your answer would have been the same, but his heart, his eye for detail, his sheer showmanship and yet humility blew you away. Your heart beat faster just for him as you raised your joined hands to your lips, hoping he felt the flutter too.

"Well, today was perfect. And even if it wasn't, I would still love you just as much. Which is a lot."

You considered saying more, but all that escaped you was a yelp as Seungkwan's hands fell to your back, dropping you suddenly in a dip as he kissed you at the sea's edge.

Vernon

He was usually so low-key.

Such thoughts are all you have as Vernon spoils you with a rooftop dinner, visions of the city surrounding your solitary peak on all sides. Neither of you dressed up often, but there you were, up to the nines at this gorgeous place you didn't even know you earned. Not that that was a good way to think. Knowing him as well as you did, you could hear Vernon brushing off thoughts like that. Sure you did, he'd say, you worked hard and he always wanted to care for you if he could. He was such a sweetheart. You wanted to carry his burdens, too, felt lighter and calmer around him. You loved him, but would that be too intense?

Either way, you didn't let such musings color your date stiff. Vernon talked about a movie he had just watched with Jeonghan and Seungkwan, giving his critiques but ultimately praising the romantic plot, how the love was so pure.

"The main male lead? He'd do anything for his love interest. He's willing to give up so much for her, and when she's ready to do the same? It's corny, but there's something so human about it. You know?"

"I do," you nod, leaning your hand on your chin, forgetting anything about elbows on the table as you gaze fondly at the object of your affection. You loved how he talked when he gave his little movie reviews, the passion in his eyes, the flowers in his words.

"It made me realize I'd do the same for you," Vernon continued, dark eyes softening into yours, melting your entire chest cavity to joyous mush.

Unable to help it any longer, you lean forward, connecting your lips with his, which move just as eagerly. The kiss is fast, but sweet, gentle brushes speaking just as much as Vernon’s sentiments.

“I would do it for you, too,” you breathe as the two of you separate, grinning like adorable fools beneath twinkling white lights.

“I came up here tonight because I wanted to tell you something,” Vernon adds, eyes never leaving yours, “I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

Dino

Googling romantic date ideas had hit a jackpot, Chan thought as he whipped his arms, spreading the softest blanket he could find down.

“Tell me when I can look!” You called from some distance away as he laid the basket gently, almost tenderly down, feeling tense and turning twice just to make sure it didn’t drop or tip. Everything had to be perfect.

“In a minute,” he called back, grinning widely with joy, anticipation, even a hint of pride, “I’m almost finished, ok?”

“Ok!”

Chan’s heart swelled. You sounded so excited, too, joyful in voice and mannerism as you waited on the grass, back turned to him as he propped up the finishing touches.

“Alright, come here!” All but jogging over to you, Chan slung a hand over your shoulder. “Turn around, gorgeous.”

“Chan!” You giggled his name, reaching up to his his shoulder. He didn’t always talk like that, but praise and endearment were all his brain could come up with. You made him giddy, and for once there was no one around to tease him if he looked like a fool. And love was certainly making a happy fool of him.

When you turned around with him, your jaw dropped, widening to a slack smile at the sight Chan laid out for you. Upon the soft blanket he'd placed not just a picnic basket, but a chilled bottle of champagne, twin glasses, a pair of cute little bright solar lanterns, and a freshly wrapped bouquet of flowers.

"You did all this for me?"

"And no one else," he replied, arm still around you, guiding you as you both lowered into seated positions on the blanket.

"I feel so spoiled," you gushed as he handed you the flowers, smiling at the way you cradled them with gusto.

"You should," Chan grinned, pressing a kiss to your cheek, "I love you."

Flowers, glittering lanterns, and even food and wine forgotten for the moment, you knocked him on the blanket for a passionate kiss that spoke it all back.

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nhlclover · 1 year

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jealousy | rutger mcgroarty

summary: a rare spur of jealousy leads to misplaced anger against your boyfriend

warnings: slight angst, kissing, NOT proofread soz

a/n: he is doing so good in the tournament rn

word count: 1.3k

Being Rutgers girlfriend doesn’t demand much. He likes kisses, taking me on dates, and just simply being in each other's presence. However, being Rutgers girlfriend also means I double as a hockey girlfriend. This means attending all the games, being there so that he can vent about the games and being a motivational speaker. I truly didn’t mind it though. Getting to see him live out his dreams made it all worthwhile.

Tonight was another game, this one against Ohio State. Normally I attend the games alone and sit in a section separate from the student section. However my friends, after seeing a video from the UMich hockey account that showed Mark fighting another player, wanted to come and see a game. This also meant they wanted to sit in the student section so they could “be in the thick of it”.

We joined the sea of students, also dressed in blue and yellow. Some people around us had signs, most of them chirping the opposing team, Ohio State. When the boys skated out, the student section roared. People banged on the glass, pumping up the others while they did their warmups. The noise only slightly diminished as the game started, with chants starting every few seconds. By the end of the 2nd period, it was 2-0 for Michigan. The student section was slightly less rowdy, as people went to the concession stands.

“Okay, but number two was the best, right?”

The mention of my boyfriends' number made my ears perk up. I look at the three girls sitting in front of us who are the only possible owners of the voice.

“His last name was McGroarty, go look on Instagram.” One of the girls says.

I look at her phone, see her type in Rutger’s last name, and click on his profile. “He is so cute.” She squeals.

“I don’t see a girlfriend.” Another girl says.

With Rutger's newfound fame from being drafted by Winnipeg, to UMich and the World Juniors, we thought it best to keep our relationship just between close friends and family for the time being. It was good, for the most part, except when girls would assume he was single just because he had no posts about his girlfriend.

“You know, I heard they go to Milo’s frat’s parties a bunch.” One of the girls says. “You could try and find him at the party Friday?”

There’s a twinge in my chest and my ears heat up. Who are these girls to think that they can just get with my boyfriend?

I thankfully didn’t have to endure much of their conversation any longer as the boys skated out onto the ice to begin the third period. They finished the game, winning 3-1 with Rutger securing the win with an empty netter.

We get up, walking out of the stands to where Rutger and the rest of the team will exit the building from. We’re about halfway there when I realize the girls from earlier are walking to the exact same place. The twinge from earlier returns and a wave of heat takes over my body. My friends and I stop a few feet away from the girls, who continue to talk about Rutger, adding in a few comments about Ethan and Mark.

The door opens, a few of the guys spilling out. You spot Rutger walking out beside Dylan. Before you can even get to him, the girls from earlier are by his side. They ask him about the game, telling him how well he played.

“Are you coming to the party on Friday? Beta Theta Phi?” One of the girls asks.

“Um, not sure. Maybe?” He tells them.

“Well, I’ll be looking for you.” She smiles, walking off with her friends.

I expect the twinge to dissipate as the girls leave, but it stays. Rutger joins my side, tossing an arm around my shoulders. “Hey girls, did you enjoy the game?” He asks my friends.

“Yes, are you kidding? We saw two guys start swinging at one another then proceeded to fall on their asses. There’s nothing better than that.” Melanie tells him.

“You ready to go?” He asks me. I nod in response, saying goodbye to my friends.

Johnny joins us, walking back to their shared dorm together. I’m noticeably quiet on the short walk home, letting Rutger and Johnny talk about their game while I try to navigate what I was feeling. I felt as if I was mad at Rutger, but couldn’t figure out why.

We get in their dorm, both boys flopping down on their respective. “I’m absolutely wiped.” Johnny sighs, pulling out his phone.

Rutger has his arms open, waiting for me to climb in as I normally do. When Rutger notices my hesitation, he props himself up on his elbows and looks at me with a confused look on his face.

“I think I’m probably going to sleep at mine tonight.” I tell him, stepping towards the door.

“Woah, woah. Why?” He asks, climbing out of bed and walking towards me.

“I just feel like being in my own bed tonight.” I lie straight through my teeth.

“I know you’re lying, y/n.” He says. “You always stay over after a game, plus you love to stay the night because you get to wake up in my arms.”

“Well… I just want to sleep at my place tonight.” I tell him.

Rutger's expression turns from one of confusion to one of hurt. “Babe, talk to me. What’s up?”

I glance behind Rutger's shoulder, seeing Johnny looking at us rather than at his phone. Realizing that he probably should let us talk alone, he scrambles out of his bed.

“Yeah, I’ll just… go to Luke’s or something. Maybe I’ll have a sleepover with Fants.” Johnny chuckles, pulling on some shoes quickly. He slips out the door leaving us alone.

“Can you tell me what’s up now?” Rutger asks me.

I sigh, sitting down on his desk chair. I open my mouth to speak but putting my thoughts into words seems impossible.

“I was sitting in the student section and these girls in front of me were talking about you, calling you cute and stuff, and saying how easy it would be to get with you.” I explain. “Then they came to talk to you after the game and I hated it! I don’t know why but I absolutely despised hearing them talk about you.”

I finish ranting, turning in his chair to look at him, only to see a smirk on his lips. “No way…” He says. “You’re actually jealous.”

“What? I’m not jealous.” I say, crossing my arms on my chest.

“Oh yeah, you are. You’re talking about how much other girls crushing on me is bothering you. Plus you’ve got this brooding look and your eyebrows are furrowed and you’re kind of pouting…wait.” He says, stepping towards me. “Are you trying to turn me on right now? Cause it’s working.”

“Rutger I’m serious.” I say, wiping the grin off his face.

“Sorry, sorry. But you have nothing to be jealous of. I’m all yours and no one else's.” He tells me, coming over and grabbing my hand. He pulls me up from the chair, placing his hands on my waist. “Other people are going to find me attractive and that’s something that’s gonna happen. I mean guys look at you all the time.”

“Other guys don’t look at me.” I say.

“Yeah they do, I’m pretty sure Luca had a thing for you for the first few months we were dating.” Rutger tells me, making me laugh. “Don’t tell him I told you though.”

“We’re always going to find each other being jealous of people that are attracted to the other and that’s just something we have to deal with.” He tells me. “But as long as we both know we’re committed to each other, there’s nothing to worry about.”

I give him a soft smile at his words. I lay a hand on his cheek, bringing him down to me. I softly kiss him, hoping the gesture works as a way to tell him thank you for easing my worries.

“You know,” Rutger starts as we separate. “Johnny’s sleeping… not here tonight, so we have the place to ourselves.” I laugh as he pulls me over to the bed.

#rutger mcgroarty #rutger mcgroarty x reader #rutger mcgroarty imagine #umich imagine #umich #university of michigan #nhl imagine #nhl #hockey #winnipeg jets

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cookinguptales · 1 year

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So… last week I made a vent post about an accessibility issue I’d had with some podcasters. I really only meant for the post to be read by my followers (who to my knowledge aren’t familiar with the podcast in question) which is why I put minimal tags on it and didn’t name the show.

But… the post got legs that I wasn’t expecting, and eventually a lot of people asked for the name of the show. I hadn’t intended on creating a whole big thing, so I was kind of reluctant, but I did see the logic in what they were saying — as a disabled woman myself, I would also want to know if I were supporting podcasters whose values did not align with mine. So I told people quietly in the notes that the show had been Old Gods of Appalachia.

Things… did not stay quiet.

Frankly speaking, one of the reasons why I don’t write as many posts about disability and ableism these days is because I got tired of people writing to me and telling me that people like me should be dead. So you can imagine what kind of fucking week I’ve been having since all that blew up. It’s been a very high symptom week, too, so I’m just. Very tired and stressed rn.

Personally, I’d be happy to never talk about it again and try to get back to my everyday life, but I did think it was important to note that the creators of OGOA must have gotten wind of the post, and they did contact me.

I won’t post the whole email here, but it was a good response. Since seeing my post, they’d tried getting in contact with the venue and realized very quickly why I’d been so frustrated. They ended up needing to go through their booking agent to get any kind of answers — so like, to the people who sent me a thousand messages telling me I was an entitled idiot who just needed to contact the venue, please know that none of you were remotely helpful.

Again, I’m not going to post the entire email, but I did think it was important to be fair and use the same platform that I used to vent to tell people that they seem committed to doing better in the future. They told me that they would be making sure that they have all this information going forward and that they would no longer allow it to be such a barrier to entry for disabled fans.

They invited me back to the show and… god, I’ll admit it. I really had to think about my answer. Not to sound ungrateful, but after the week I’ve had, even thinking about the podcast, the podcasters, and that damn live show has me stressed af. I had to really consider whether I even wanted to go.

But in the months since I first contacted them, they added a show that’s a lot closer to where I live, so rather than a weekend trip, I could just take a single bus. And it’s near one of my favorite Japanese restaurants in the city, so if all else fails, I can at least have some good katsudon. So I will be going to the Philadelphia show.

(Though for fellow disabled fans, Terakawa Ramen is not wheelchair accessible. 🙃 Most days I can do the two steps into the restaurant, but not always. Philly, I love and loathe you.)

Anyway, I wanted to reply to them before I made a post here, but… yeah. We’ve worked things out, I think. Only the future can tell what they'll do going forward but they do seem committed to doing better.

To me, there are always two goals when I write about disability and ableism. The first is that disabled people will feel seen. That is always, always my primary goal. It’s so easy for us to feel invisible and unimportant, and I always want to make you all feel seen, just like I want to feel seen. The second is that able-bodied folks will listen and learn and do their best to support their disabled peers in the future.

So… I think that my post managed to fulfill both of those goals. A lot of disabled people have reblogged that post and have talked about their own experiences, and a lot of them have explicitly said how much that post makes them feel seen. And the podcasters in question seem to have really reflected on their actions and seem to want to do better going forward.

So as incredibly fucking stressed out as I’ve been, I guess I can’t regret making the post. It’s always good to know that your words can have impact. The post has long since moved out of my friends circle so I assume it’ll just keep circulating and I’ll keep getting shitty anons and chat messages, but I’m just gonna focus on what good has come from it. I’m hopeful that my post will make life tangibly better for at least a few disabled people, and I’m encouraged by the fact that podcasters who I’d formerly liked do actually seem to want to do the work needed to improve.

And uh I’m not answering any more messages from people who just wanna swear at me. I’m tired. Leave me alone.

#it took me six hours to get out of bed today due to dizziness so like #forgive me if I'm not quite as coherent as usual lmao #it really has been a SUPER bad week as far as symptoms go #old gods of appalachia #OGOA #podcasts #cw:#ableism #disability

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cosmerelists · 8 months

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If Cosmere Characters Were on Tumblr...

Sure, we blog about Cosmere characters. But what if they were here, blogging for themselves? Here is what I think it might be like...

1. Dalinar: Never changes the default icon

He gets blocked a lot.

Dalinar: How odd. No matter how many blogs I follow, my “dashboard” remains empty.

Renarin: I think they all blocked you because they think you’re a bot.

Dalinar: A bot? But I took your advice and chose a unique blog name: Big_D9762.

Renarin: ...

Dalinar: What?

2. Jasnah: Acts like Neil Gaiman

She comes on tumblr as a break from doing research and ruling, answers a few questions, and leaves again.

Anonymous asked: I love your work breaking down gender barriers in Alethkar by being queen and stuff! Do you plan to further erode unnecessary gender distinctions, like by letting women eat spicy food and show both hands?

Jasnah-Kholin: Wait and See.

3. Vin: Reblogs a thousand things in a mad fury and then disappears for days

She does not use the queue function.

Vin: Yeah...I don’t fuck with the the queue function. If you see me, you see me.

Elend: Hey Vin, did you reblog the crab rave like 15 times in a row?

Vin: I was feeling it.

4. Elend: Has a carefully curated queue

His “queue” tag is “Vin is a queue-T.”

Elend: The only exception I make are donation posts and political ones, since those need to be reblogged immediately.

Elend: But otherwise, the queue function is great for lovely, regular content!

5. Adolin: Runs a fashion blog

He has ALL of the Rosharan runways.

Adolin: It’s easy to let Alethi fashion dominate, but a REAL fashion blogger makes sure to have a wide variety of nations and fashions.

6. Shallan: Posts her art

And she tries not to be frustrated when her quick Kaladin sketch gets tons more notes than her very detailed sketch of the chasmfiend.

Shallan: It’s like, I get it--Kaladin fan art is ALWAYS popular.

Shallan: But that chasmfiend was very detailed!

Adolin: Maybe you should draw Kaladin riding it.

Adolin: Shirtless.

Shallan: ...

Shallan: I’ll take my three notes, thank you very much.

7. Tien: Always reblogs no-note art posts

And he always leaves a nice comment too!

Tien: The colors in this are so lovely!!

8. Navani: Considers herself a tumblr patron

She’s one of those bloggers who, if she reblogs your post, you know you’re about to make it big.

Navani: I don’t really make original posts, of course. I’m not a real blogger.

Navani: I just find other people’s clever posts and help promote them!

Navani (typing): "This...has...10,000...notes...to...me...”

Navani: You know they’re happy when they just respond “PLEASE NO”

9. Kelsier: Stirs up his followers with so. much. discourse.

Especially about Hoid.

Kelsier: Friendly reminder that Hoid (1) will let a planet burn to get what he wants; (2) beat up an innocent ghost (me) once; (3) is dating someone WAY younger than he is; (4) insults women.

Hoid: I insulted men too. I was the King’s Wit.

Kelsier: I’m adding you to my DNI.

10. Szeth: Very popular for his “shit posts”

Szeth, of course, is 100% sincere the entire time.

Szeth: It is odd.

Szeth: The vent post I made that simply said “my talking sword is a bad conversationalist” has like a million notes.

Szeth: ...

Szeth: Tumblr is a strange place.

#cosmere #cosmerelists #Dalinar #Jasnah #Vin #Elend #Adolin #Shallan #Tien #Navani #Kelsier #Szeth

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unknowinglydeceasedlol · 3 months

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idk who needs to hear this but you *can* relate to someone’s struggles with a specific disorder without having said disorders

it’s honestly one of my biggest frustrations when you’re venting about a disorder you have or see people talking about it online and then you see people chime in “omg I didn’t think I had this but I relate to this so I have it!” and i don’t mean those people who have genuine concerns about having a specific disorder. (fyi, if you have genuine concerns regarding a specific disorder you may have, this isn’t about you!! it’s perfectly valid to stumble upon a disorder you didn’t know existed that explains your situation perfectly and have questions about it <3)

i’ll use this as an example but if someone is currently struggling through cancer and they vent to you about extreme exhaustion and fatigue, most people wouldn’t be like “omg I feel exhausted and fatigued too!! i must have cancer!” but would probably say something along the lines of “ive struggled through exhaustion and fatigue myself due to other reasons so i can understand what you’re going through and how you feel.” it’s okay to have questions about disorders and want to know more to maybe better situations you’re going through/ are in but just seeing one thing you relate to and claiming a whole disorder because of it can be very damaging to the people who have said disorders.

as someone with a cluster b personality disorder, there’s already so much stigma around them and that’s excluding all my other disorders/ problems. i’ve seen people who have no idea what BPD is, relate to a small portion of it, claim it as something they have with no research into it or professional advice, and then unknowingly play into stereotypes or spread more stigma about it. there’s so much more to a disorder than one or two things you see someone posting about. there’s also a lot of other things someone could have that also change how disorders present themselves in different people.

a person can have disorder A and vent about it but what you don’t know is that they also have disorder B, C, D, and E. although their main post is about disorder A, disorder C, D and E can also be big factors in it without you knowing. you might be relating more to the disorder C and E aspect of it over the “main” disorder A part of it than you really realize.

the purpose of me saying all this is not to be hateful, “gatekeep”, discourage people who genuinely have concerns, want to participate in genuine conversations about these topics, or for any other malicious reason. im just coming at this as a person to who’s genuinely really exhausted. it’s already so hard living with certain disorders and then you see people online who glorify, romanticize, or even fetishize certain disorders while cause harm to those people who genuinely suffer from it.

i stumbled upon someone’s post on a different platform and her whole shtick was “i have BPD but I’m uber normal abt it and not bat shit insane like literally everyone else who has it + having FPs is totally amazing and not super draining and exhausting” and it was honestly heartbreaking. her whole reasoning for having bpd was that she got obsessive over people she was in love with so therefore it was her FPs and got depressed if they didn’t spend time with her.

if you’re genuinely curious and have real concerns, please do your hardest to research it and/ or seek professional advice if possible. don’t put others who have the disorder down when they don’t meet or work with your agenda. thank you.

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am-i-the-asshole-official · 2 months

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AITA for kicking someone from my server and not explaining why?

(emojis so I can find later: 🪨🪨🪨)

[This happened a few years ago, but I’ll write the ages as they were at the time.]

I (14M) made a server for a fandom I was in. It was a small fandom (I was mutuals with every single fan on tumblr) so I thought it’d be nice to have a place we can all talk other than the tumblr dashboard. This was also not my first server — I had 2 or 3 years of experience running them (having run a server with 100ish members a year or two beforehand) so I was fully confident in my ability to run a server with less than 20 people, especially since everyone knew each other and was friends already.

Now, there was this person in the server, we’ll call her B (16F). I wasn’t super close with her, but ofc I was friends with her through the fandom. We didn’t talk much — the only time I can recall us speaking outside of discord was to send fandom art requests to each other. Obviously I didn’t have a problem with her coming in, but as she spoke more in my server, I started to question whether she was somebody I wanted hanging around.

I won’t go into full depth of things she said or did (both for privacy’s sake and to keep things brief), but I’ll explain my biggest reasons for kicking her.

First, she vented a lot, which typically I wouldn’t judge, but I really didn’t want a fandom server associated with so much negativity — and not only that, but the way she vented was very… I mean, we would be telling her things she did wrong in general channels, and then she would go to the vent channel and say things like “I’m sorry I’m so stupid and such a bad person I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.” and then we’d (well, everybody else — I don’t play these games with people) all have to console her. Not only that, but she’d vent about shit like — “I’m such a bad person because I’m cis. I’m sorry for being cis.” In a server full of trans people.

Second was her ableism towards autistic people, in a server also full of autistic people (This is honestly the biggest thing I had against her). Since most of us were autistic, we headcanoned most (if not all) of the characters in the series as autistic, usually with little basis in canon. One person specifically said “I think X character is autistic” and most people agreed, until she came along and said “No, they’re too normal.” We were all kind of like “???” until somebody said “Autistic people are normal” and she said “No, they’re all learning disabled” and some other stuff I don’t remember off the top of my head. (Obviously nothing wrong with having learning disabilities and many autistic people do have them etc, it’s just the way she went about saying what she said — and also disagreeing with a harmless headcanon because a character was too “normal” to be autistic). Again, most of us are autistic and were offended by what she said.

These were the two biggest contributors as to why I kicked her from my server — there were more (usually smaller) things she did that made people uncomfortable or pissed me off, but again, I’m not going to mention everything.

So, I silently kicked her, not wanting to cause too much drama, but also fed up with her behavior. I think I also softblocked her on tumblr, not wanting us to be mutuals or friends anymore but also not seeing a block as necessary (I didn’t mind if she saw my fandom posts in the tag, for example). However, she ended up following me back and sent me an ask asking why she was kicked from the server. I believe I told her “I don’t owe you an explanation, I just didn’t want you there anymore”. I didn’t want to say “you did this, this, and this” and just have her say “I didn’t do that/That wasn’t a big deal” and turn it into an entire argument, you know? I also just didn’t want to talk to her at all. So after answering, I softblocked her again and she sent me a long rant calling me a bitch, to which I simply hardblocked her.

I’m pretty sure I was justified in kicking her from my server, but I’m not sure if I’m justified in not telling her why — I understand being confused and demanding an answer but I also know she’d been told off multiple times — and I still don’t think she’s owed a response. Maybe if we were closer friends, I would have explained why. But I don’t know. Am I the asshole?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole

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