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itsclydebitches · 3 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Ultimatum”

Welcome back, everyone! We had an unexpected break last week due to the horror going on in Texas. I'm glad we did. Not because of any salty "RWBY is bad right now yay free Saturday" feelings, but because keeping to a schedule for a fictional webseries should never take precedence over peoples' safety. I can't believe I need to type that sentence out, but it's true! Over the last seven days I've seen fans who are not merely disappointed by the mini hiatus (understandable) but outright hostile towards the crew because they... were ensuring everyone survived during an unprecedented emergency? Yeah. Given the highly critical nature of these recaps — including today's! — I want to be clear that my thoughts towards Rooster Teeth's creative choices are distinct from any thoughts about the crew itself, including the most basic forms of compassion like, “I sure hope everyone is okay over there.” In an age where it has become horrifically common to harass creators and even send them death threats over stories, it has likewise become necessary to remind people: Don't do that shit. Never do that shit. If I can teach anyone anything at all, let it be that!

Anyway, dark fandom reminders out of the way, let's dive straight into our delayed episode. It was certainly a doozy. Titled "Ultimatum," we open on a trigger warning for flashing lights. Good on Rooster Teeth for including that, though I do wonder if creators shouldn't be including time stamps as well? Or perhaps a note that you can find those time stamps in the credits, avoiding any (minor) spoilers for everyone else? I'm not photosensitive myself, so I certainly don't mean to speak for that group, but my first thought was, "So how would I watch this episode if I was? Hand on the pause button, hoping I stop fast enough as soon as the lights start?" Hard to do given the surprise nature of the scene. Really, my answer would be, "Wait for the fandom to post warnings of their own, likely including where it happens so I know when to skip" which is perhaps an indication that this information that should be included from the get-go.

But I am glad the warning exists, regardless. The episode itself begins with a shot of Ironwood looking down at the kingdom. He's used his windows as a vantage point since Volume 7, so that's nothing new, but something about this particular shot reminded me of Ozpin, looking down from his tower. I'm sure the response from many would be simply, "Ah yes, the two power hungry dictators watching over their victims," but I think there's a much more nuanced reading here about leaders being expected to fix the literally unfixable and what that responsibility does to an individual. Of course, it's a nuance that is absolutely obliterated by the episode’s end, but the implication existed for a hot second!

Two other soldiers are in the room with Ironwood, reporting that Cinder has helped Watts escape. They try to soften this with news that they still have Jacques in custody, but receive only a, "I don't give a damn about Jacques Schnee." Which, fair. He's pretty useless at this point. It's when Ironwood learns that both Qrow and Robin escaped too that he really gets mad, something his subordinates have been expecting given their scared expressions.

Now, I'm treading lightly here because I realize how this is going to sound given the end of our episode, but I still want to note that outside of that ending... this is a weird take? Just hear me out. Since Volume 7 the show has worked very hard to make Ironwood seem scary and unstable — bad setup for what we end with today — but the problem is that none of it works in context and it certainly doesn't work when compared to other characters' actions. They are literally in the midst of an unwinnable battle and thousands of his people are dying. If the audience wants a human being — who also just lost a limb and was betrayed by half his allies — o remain perfectly poised and polite during that, sorry, but that's not how human beings work. But even beyond this, what’s the message here? Ironwood raises his voice, so does Yang. Ironwood hits his desk, Qrow hits a child. If we're going to examine how Ironwood handles his stress and anger, he often handles it better than many of our heroes. Namely, by continually taking that anger out on inanimate objects. I kept waiting for him to attack his subordinates or attack Winter this episode, especially given where we end up, but it never came. Ironwood always has enough control to break the desk or punch the wall, not the person in front of him. Which, of course, would not be a good thing in the real world. I want to be clear given these sensitive subjects that if someone is breaking things in your presence that's a major problem to address. But this isn't the real world. This is a fantasy world in the middle of a war, populated by other characters who express their anger by punching people, slamming them into walls, or screaming at them until they run away. The story wants us to fear Ironwood long before he makes his objectively horrific choices and it tries to achieve that by showing us characters who are clearly terrified in his presence, by giving us a string of broken objects in his wake. But those details don't land well when we compare them to other instances of stress. In the same volume I have watched Ironwood take a deep breath to calm himself down when things have gone horribly wrong. I've also watched Weiss start a conversation by threatening her defenseless brother. So again, what’s the message here? It can’t be that acting violently towards someone = villainous behavior because, as established since Volume 6, that’s common for the heroes. Why are these subordinates terrified about Ironwood slamming his fist on a table, but Whitley has no problem hugging the woman who threatened him? Obviously there is a HUGE difference between our main group and Ironwood when it comes to other actions (cough-bomb threats-cough), but these day-to-day moments don't match up. The show wants to use violence as a way for us to easily identify the Bad Guy while ignoring all the times when our heroes do the same thing.

All of which isn't meant to be a defense of Ironwood. As we'll see in a bit, there is no defense for what he's done. Rather, it's a way of acknowledging just how badly he's been written. Why does a man who consistently reins in his anger and takes it out on objects suddenly shoot a councilman for literally no reason? Why does a man defined by wanting to save as many people as he can suddenly threaten to bomb his city? Ironwood's characterization is all over the place, in the sense that they keep writing him as the morally gray, sometimes harsh, but ultimately compassionate man he started out as... up until they need a villain. Salem isn't here yet, so Ironwood can shoot Oscar. Salem isn't attacking yet, so Ironwood can shoot the councilman. Salem is currently reforming, so Ironwood can threaten YJR and Mantle. He's the B-plot villain whenever Salem is out of commission, which is a problem for both their characterizations. This filler doesn't make sense for Ironwood and it severely undermines the threat of Salem. You finally introduce the Magical Big Bad and our heroes are facing more of a threat from a guy with a broken army and three loyal allies left? Hmmm.

The tl;dr is that Ironwood's arc is a disaster and, frankly, it's gotten old reading simplified takes of, "It's just a realistic look at what white U.S. men will do in power sweetie :) " RWBY does not have the context capable of conveying that sort of critical take because our world is not besieged by literal monsters and an immortal witch, to say nothing of how real life good guys do not get deus ex machina canes that fix the problem instantaneously. Ironwood is not an example of anti-U.S. imperialism, he's an example of writers who don't know how to write.

Anyway, I'm getting severely off topic. Obviously Ironwood is a major part of this episode, but the problems demonstrated here are two years in the making. This is the culmination of things I've been discussing for months across hundreds of posts... so I should probably stop trying to summarize it all in a few paragraphs lol. Perhaps when RWBY is over — or Ironwood has died — I'll do a single meta on his character, try to pull everything into one, unified argument.

For now though, we have an episode to analyze.

While Ironwood is receiving this news we get flashbacks to Qrow and Robyn. Qrow attacks a soldier in his bird form, which is hilarious. Someone GIF that please. It does raise some interesting questions about this magic though: does Qrow retain his aura and strength in this form (something I thought given his choice to transform during the explosion), or was that soldier just so shocked at being attacked by a crow that he went down easy? We'll never know, because that would require establishing concrete rules for this world. The point is Qrow is going feral in his freedom, throwing punches left and right — did he kill that guard? — while Robyn watches it all from under a rock. They're apparently still somewhere in the facility since all the exits are guarded, but that's not the good thing Ironwood seems to think it is. After all, Qrow is out to murder him. He wants to be there.

We all see where this is going, right? The show is going to ignore Qrow's crazy belief that Ironwood got Clover killed in favor of a "Qrow saved Mantle by murdering Ironwood"/“Qrow got revenge for Mantle by murdering Ironwood” ending. Who cares why Qrow wanted to kill him in the first place now that Ironwood has his finger on the trigger? If RWBY is good at anything, it's writing moments that encourage you to ignore everything that came before it. We'll be seeing more of that in just a bit.

"Damn it!" Ironwood yells, because the show is leaning into its cursing. He orders that the subordinates not return until "you have Qrow Branwen in custody." Here we have another great example of the show conflating what the audience knows with what other characters know. See, we know Qrow has a vendetta against Ironwood. We know their relationship is the important one to the story and that Robyn is incidental. Ironwood doesn't know that. There's no reason for him, as a character, to specify that they only bring Qrow back, but it makes sense for the audience who has the whole, thematic picture. Our understanding of the situation is influencing Ironwood's dialogue, which is... not great.

This entire scene we've had creepy music to hammer home just how evil Ironwood is. Except, as said, he takes a breath to calm down and the music fades. Instead of flying into a rage, hurting someone, or doing anything the music suggests he might, Ironwood calmly calls in for an update — which is when the explosion hits.

It's MASSIVE, seeming to originate from a lightning strike, which is weird, since it's coming from inside the whale, but whatever. The animation is very dramatic and pretty, as we've come to expect of RWBY, but the actual plot is lackluster at best. It's funny though because I thought for a hot second, when Winter and the Ace Ops were caught in the blast, that RWBY had actually done something exciting. I mean, holy shit! There are the deaths we expect from a battle like this. My god, what is everyone going to do when they realize that Oscar's needless attack took out five characters, including Weiss' sister —

No wait, never mind. They're fine.

Let's talk about that "needless" descriptor for a moment though. Do you all remember, two weeks ago, when I went, "Hey, why isn't anyone telling Oscar that that Ace Ops are approaching with a bomb? They're on a time limit! If someone would just mention that Very Important Information then Oscar wouldn't keep standing around to fight Salem." See, at the time I was frustrated because of how the plot was needlessly allowing Oscar to put himself in danger (especially when the whole point of this mission was to rescue him). Now, I'm frustrated because that same plot needlessly wasted the most powerful weapon the group had. There was no reason for Oscar to use literal lifetimes worth of stored energy when the heroes already had a bomb to do the same job! What was the point of that? I guess he took out the other grimm too, but without the whale that still would have been a challenge with a finite end, one Ironwood's army and the remaining huntsmen should have been able to handle. It doesn't feel justified to have Oscar use a weapon kept on the bench for lifetimes when there was another option literally minutes away.

There's so much wrong with this I need another list. So:

Ozpin's cane supposedly stores kinetic energy, which may contradict what we've seen from it before. Regardless, we’ve never heard about this. The all powerful weapon comes out of nowhere

It also begs the question of why Ozpin wouldn't use that power at Beacon and why he wouldn't insist that they try to get their cane back while captured. You had an out this whole time! But we’re going to ignore that because Oscar is a little hesitant?

Which makes YJR's presence even more useless than it originally was, which was already pretty useless. Oscar essentially rescued himself

This kinetic energy miraculously doesn't hurt any people or buildings, just grimm

So what is the point of Silver Eyes? That's been their MO since they were first introduced. Sure, Silver Eyes can be used far more often than Ozpin's cane, but it still feels like a let down to learn that the Big Secret behind this weapon is... the exact same thing Ruby has been doing for years

Like Ruby, Oscar likewise didn't need any practice or training. He just set off this massive attack perfectly and without issue

We have now eliminated the biggest threat to the cast instantaneously — the whale and the other grimm — with no effort from the rest of the heroes. Like the Hound, the stakes are obliterated with no satisfying work on the part of our protagonists

Instead, as said, the actual plan already in place never happened. The bomb just... goes back. Kind of like how Cinder attacked and then just went back to Salem. Penny woke up and then just got knocked out again. We continue to go in circles

This is because no one took two seconds to tell Oscar, "There's a bomb on the way"

Because this threat is gone the show needs a new one, hence Ironwood randomly threatening Mantle with said bomb

The one way we might have justified Oscar blowing up the whale instead of Winter is if he did it to save Hazel, but Hazel is implied to be dead

Maybe he's alive, but if he's not that happened off screen and we're not sure how. It couldn't have been because of the blast itself — everyone else is fine — so what, Salem somehow killed him before she was blasted to bits? While he was holding her?

And there's no body?

Salem was torn apart multiple times during that fight and reformed instantaneously, yet now, conveniently, she's taking her time

None of the characters mention the issues above. None of them admit that there was no reason for Oscar to waste LIFETIMES worth of power when they already had a solution in the works. Fantastic

I need to take a moment to acknowledge that so far this recap feels... bad. Disjointed. Bit all over the place. Which makes a certain amount of sense because that's where my thoughts are at. There's so much going on in this episode — so much wrong with it — that I don't know how to boil it all down into a few, neat claims. This episode is a mess! We're barely a few minutes in and the combined issues of Ironwood's characterization and Oscar's choice have left me reeling. So if you're still reading this, bless your patience, I think we'll both need it for the rest of this journey.

Let's snag a neater plot-point to discuss. Amidst all the chaos Neo literally skips away with the Lamp, clearly thrilled at how her own life is going. Later in the episode she'll text Cinder with the obvious: Salem is going to be pretty pissed when she realizes this is gone. “If you want her name you know what you owe me."

So wait... what is Neo leveraging here? Is she agreeing to give the Lamp back so Cinder doesn't get in trouble with Salem? Give Salem the password she's been looking for? Or give Cinder the password to use the Lamp for herself? What would Cinder even want the Lamp for when she's after the Maiden powers? I'm confused about what Cinder is being blackmailed with. Regardless, she needs the lamp for something and presumably what she "owes" Neo is Ruby. We get a cut to her just to hammer that home.

(Side note: both pictures of Neo are hilarious.)

Before that though, back at the whale, everyone is taking stock of the situation when Marrow cries, "Hey, they were still in there!" I feel like this is another scene meant to make him look like the one good guy in the group — he cares about YJOR while the others can’t be bothered — but as always, that reading doesn't fit well with the situation as a whole. The others have barely had time to realize they're alive. I don't think it's a moral failing that they didn't instinctually worry about four betrayers, one of whom attacked them, while they're still checking that they have all their limbs intact. Besides, why does Marrow assume they're dead? The Ace Ops were caught in the blast as well, yet miraculously came out unharmed. They clearly didn't set their own bomb off, so it's logical to assume that YJOR did something themselves. It feels weird to have a "Marrow mourns them and Winter is the only other character who cares" moment when everyone is recovering from bomb shock and no one even knows if the others are dead. But, of course, the show is out to portray only two of these characters as good people, so ignore the logic and run with the emotion of the scene.

All of which is bolstered by Elm pulling away when Vine puts a hand on her shoulder. Why is she acting cold towards him now? Because they're not friends, remember?

While we get more ridiculous relationship dynamics, Ironwood calls in and congratulates them on the bomb working, but tells them to get back because they have another problem in the works. That would be Qrow and Robyn. Winter decides to tell him about the bomb in person.

We cut to Watts and Cinder watching the remnants of the blast from a rooftop. Cinder has tried calling, but no one answered. Unsurprising, given that Salem doesn't have any other allies left. Cinder says that the plan hasn't changed, she's still going to take the Winter Maiden's power for herself, and Watts can help her by bringing Penny here. He explains that he doesn't have full control over her. Rather, he implemented a virus that is setting her on a single path: open the vault, then self-destruct. Cinder, as one might expect, is furious.

She snags Watts by her grimm arm and threatens to toss him over the side of the building. Thus begins the best part of the episode, hands down. Despite the danger he's in, Watts throws common sense out the window in favor of dragging Cinder in the most satisfying manner possible.

“You think you’re entitled to everything just because you suffered, but suffering isn’t enough. You can’t just be strong, you have to be smart. You can’t just be deserving, you have to be worthy! But all you have ever been is a bloody migraine!”

It's true! You know what else is true? This speech could apply to our heroes as well. Accusations of entitlement and reminders to be smart as opposed to just strong hit hard, considering those are the same flaws our protagonists are struggling with. The difference is that Cinder, miraculously, listens, pulling Watts back to safety and going to cry by herself. That moment is simultaneously more growth than Ruby has gotten and more sympathy than Ironwood has gotten. The woman who murdered Pyrrha is treated more kindly by the narrative than one of our initial heroes and our very first villain has taken more time to reconsider her choices than our title character. You know a show is falling apart when excellent choices are applied to the worst possible character.

So Cinder is crying while Watts looks guilty and we cut back to YJOR's group post-blast. Yang is finally able to answer a call from Blake who is obviously overjoyed to see her. Weiss gives them directions to the mansion and they ask what in the world they'll do with Emerald, currently on her knees, mourning Hazel.

Thus begins the third most frustrating part of this episode. See, on the way back the group continues the conversation about what to do with Emerald, with Yang and Jaune distrusting her vs. Ren and Oscar encouraging cooperation. I can't believe I'm saying this after's Ren's speech and Oscar's entire existence... but I'm team Jaune and Yang here. Look, what Oscar and Ren say — the literal words coming out of their mouth — is nonsense. Ren goes, “We can’t let all of our actions stem from fear," as if Yang and Jaune are being ridiculous for mistrusting Emerald, one of the established villains, after years worth of harm from her. It’s weird that Yang points to her arm as something Emerald is responsible for, rather than being framed or the deaths at Beacon, but the general sentiment of, “She’s done horrible things!” is true. Ren’s perspective is the same simplification that was applied to Ironwood last volume, wherein everyone acted as if he was crazy for fearing an attack on his kingdom... post an attack on another kingdom and pre an attack on his kingdom. Putting generic lines in Ren's mouth about not being afraid makes him sound willfully ignorant, as if choosing to believe that someone is good will magically make them so, to say nothing of thinking it will erase all the harm they've already done.

Oscar at least acknowledges the difficulty here, but then follows this up with, “You don’t have to forgive her… just give her a second chance."

Oscar, honey, that amounts to the same thing in this situation. Allowing Emerald a second chance means working with her, which means trust, which means emotionally reaching a point where these characters can put aside the harm she's done them in an effort to give her that chance in the first place. This actually ties into a post I saw last night, one I've come across before, that claims redemption arcs don't require any suffering on the part of the person who has done wrong. I agree in theory, that prolonged suffering doesn't help anyone, but the problem is that people tend to conflate suffering with consequences and someone who has done this level of harm should face consequences for their actions. The problem with redemption arcs is not that the bad people suffer too much — emotionally and physically beating on them as a form of revenge — but that the people they've harmed are put into situations like this one. If Yang and Jaune let Emerald go like she suggests, they are agreeing that she doesn't have to face any consequences for the damage she's done (which, keep in mind, involves multiple deaths, not including all the lost lives here in Atlas). If they agree to give her a second chance, they are forced to jump straight to some level of forgiveness. We might claim they don't have to forgive Emerald to work with her, but from a practical perspective how are they meant to function, especially during a warzone? Anything she provides them with — information, watching their back in a fight, undertaking missions, etc. — requires trusting her enough to allow those things to happen: working with that info, letting her protect them, allowing her that responsibility. It's all about trust, trust she has yet to earn. In order for a redemption arc to be successful, the power has to be in the hands of the victims. They need to be able to see some justice for what was done to them, be offered some proof that the person in question has truly changed, and have the ability to walk away if they decide no, I don't forgive you, glad to hear you've improved, but please stay out of my life. Jaune and Yang have none of that. There are currently no systems in place for Emerald to face consequences for her choices, she has offered them no proof of her remorse or true motivations, and the other half of the group is pressuring them to give her that second chance without closure or reassurance. None of that makes for a good redemption arc and reducing that to, "So you want to see poor Emerald suffer, huh?" ignores the suffering she has already caused. The group are her victims and they are under no obligation to give her a second chance, particularly under these circumstances, which makes the story's choice to have Ren and Oscar act like Yang and Jaune are being stubborn or inconsiderate a problem. The conversation boils down to, "Give the woman you know to be a liar, manipulator, murder accomplice, and servant of our enemy a second chance based entirely on unfounded faith. If you don't you're letting yourself be ruled by fear."

RWBY's touchy-feely themes really don't sit well within its realistic, morally gray premise. We cannot continually have these characters go through hell one moment and then have others accuse them of being paranoid the next. The fact that all of this is wrapped up in the group trusting Robyn, Emerald, and Hazel over their established allies remains beyond frustrating.

Because yeah, you know how Oscar finishes his speech? “I’ve already gotten a lot of help today from someone I don’t exactly trust right now." Meaning Ozpin.

The story is trying to compare Emerald and Hazel to Ozpin.

"Oh hey, I kept a secret from you after lifetimes of watching that secret lead to betrayal and death. I keep apologizing for my mistakes while ignoring that I had no reason to trust a bunch of kids with such world-shattering information and also that you tore it from me in the most traumatic way possible."

"Oh hey, I willingly joined our world's version of the devil and helped her destroy your school, leading to numerous deaths including your friend and headmaster. It was his death that put Oscar in this position in the first place! I then continued to attack your group, leading to another near death of a friend, and a kidnapping, and the destruction of Amity, until I became scared enough to make a run for it."

Which one of these characters is granted an instant second chance? You'll never guess who!

And I do think the word "instant" is important here because just like Jaune and Yang have the right to have distance and justice from Emerald, they had that right with Ozpin too. The difference is they got it. They had the power in the situation, as evidenced by their use of the Lamp and physically attacking him. Ozpin heard what they needed from him — leave us alone — and did that without complaint. They were given months to come to terms with the secrets he kept. They were offered apologies and acts of service to demonstrate intent: saving them in the airship and continually saving Oscar. I don't believe Ozpin ever needed a redemption arc, but even if we think he did, he had it. After three volumes of material Oscar's perspective is still "I don't exactly trust [him] right now" but Hazel and Emerald have earned at least the same amount of trust in a matter of hours? They're really having my boy look at the guy who has tried desperately to do right by him despite unimaginable circumstances, and the guy who tortured him to get information for Salem, and went, "That first guy. He's the one we need to watch out for."

To make things even worse, Oscar tells the others that Ozpin took on all the torture so he wouldn't have to. So he did that and they still don't trust him? If you had told me back in Volume 6 that two years later the group would still be hostile towards Ozpin, while simultaneously urging one another to trust Emerald, I would have said you were lying. RWBY has its problems, but it's not that bad. Yet here we are. I suppose the one silver lining here is that Ren smiles when he realizes Ozpin is back? So at least one of them isn't prepared to draw their weapon at the mere mention of his name.

Both these moments raise more questions though. How in the world did Ozpin take on that torture when we clearly saw Oscar getting pummeled for a good portion of the kidnapping? Is that a weird merge thing the story hasn't bothered to explain? I wouldn't be surprised, considering Oscar said last episode he didn't want to use magic because it hastened the merge, he uses the biggest explosion of magic we've ever seen, and nothing has changed. Ozpin is still in the back of his head, thanking him for the tinniest shreds of decency they get. Ren, meanwhile, seems to be back to mindreading. How in the world does he know that Ozpin is back? I assume it has something to do with his semblance, but we don't know what. They could have shown us Oscar from Ren's perspective, perhaps with two distinct emotions swilling around to imply that he sees two different people now, not a useless shot of Emerald with purple flower petals, whatever purple means.

Oh, but no, we shouldn't have gotten either of these scenes. Remember that Ren's aura broke a very, very short time ago? Is it back already? Can he use this part of his semblance without it? Considering it was near impossible to see Ironwood's aura breaking in the Watts fight and we were then mistakenly told he used his semblance in the office, I'm going to go with, "The writers forgot."

Oscar explains that the cane had "lifetime after lifetime" of power in it and though there's still some left, "we have to be careful with how we use the rest." He says that Ozpin trusted his judgement and of course he did! Ozpin also didn’t know that there was a bomb on the way. Yet funnily enough, no one else mentions that, whoops, your choice made in ignorance was a waste and that's due entirely to us prioritizing hugs over basic mission information.

Also, all these explanations take place in front of Emerald. Half the group doesn't trust her, but they'll freely discuss their powers and limitations here. Remember how the group once wanted to talk about magical relics in front of the old lady they'd just met? Yeah, they've learned nothing.

Combine all this insanity with the fact that Ozpin's magic saved the day before Ironwood's bomb could do the same... while Ruby sat in a mansion drinking tea. Who's our hero again?

So things are a hot mess, to put it lightly. Their conversation finally ends when they hear voices and round the corner to find all the Atlas citizens huddled in the subway. For once the show actually writes them in a sympathetic manner, emphasizing how terrified and helpless they are. This image doesn't lead the group to any revelations though, certainly not anything that would tie back to Ren's earlier speech in the snow. No, once again the justified criticisms here are ignored as we hear that “However this fight ends, we could really use someone like you, [Emerald.]” That's it then. Discussion over. We knew as soon as it started that blindly trusting her was being presented as the "right" thing to do and now here we are, deciding that conclusively, despite Jaune and Yang's complaints. By the time the group reaches the mansion, Oscar is defending Emerald from Ruby. We're supposed to just accept that she's a part of the group now, only minimal pushback allowed.

Before that though we return to Ironwood getting news that their bomb never went off. He briefly wonders who else could have done that, but puts the currently unanswerable question aside for what he does know. They still have the bomb and it could be "useful." See, this moment — like shooting Oscar and the councilman — is when Ironwood just randomly goes off the deep end. One minute he's talking about what they've lost and cradling his new arm,

the next he's saying that he should have tortured Qrow to get Penny to obey him! Which doesn't even make sense since I'm pretty sure Penny hasn't ever spoken to Qrow. She wouldn't want anyone to suffer, true, but it's not like Ironwood had a close friend like Ruby to use as leverage. Qrow is just Some Guy to her. Regardless, he thinks Yang, Jaune, and Ren are decent replacements, despite Penny also having no relationships with them. This is what happens when your characters only start breaking up their teams eight years into the story, the response to Ironwood wanting to torture Ren to hurt Penny is, “Does Penny know Ren exists?” But, you know, torture is torture, right? Maybe. Probably not. I mean, if they're going to turn Ironwood into a cartoon villain, they could at least keep him smart.

Because all of this is just the height of stupidity. Ironwood wants to torture people Penny barely knows to make her listen (so just grab some civilians? It would do the same job...). Ironwood wants to shoot down empty ships, even though no one, including us, knows where in the world those ships would have gone. Ironwood wants to destroy an entire city to try and save another city. He wants to use a bomb meant for a comparatively small whale and acts like that alone will take out the majority of a kingdom. None of it makes sense! And I know the easy comeback for that is, "Well yeah, Ironwood is crazy and evil" but he's not. I mean he is. Threatening torture and bombings is obviously evil, but he's never been insane, or stupid. As said before, his arc (or lack thereof) is an absolute disaster. The fandom assumes so many things about Ironwood given the opportunity — the whale is a suicide mission. He expects the Ace Ops to die on his order — and the writing hints at so many things that never happen — he's going to hurt his subordinates, attack Winter for disobeying him — and every time what we actually get is a far more compassionate, level-headed character... until he randomly does a 180 and goes, "Let's murder a whole city now!" I never wanted Ironwood to be the bad guy, but they could have at least given me a persuasive decent into this level of horror.

So... yeah. Ironwood has got to die by the end of the volume, yeah? Between Ruby warning the whole world about him and him going into full villain mode, there's no coming back from this.

Neo sends her text to Cinder and the group makes it back to the mansion. Remember Yang's criticisms of Ruby's leadership? The ones she conveniently forgot about when Ren started to agree with her? Yeah, those are entirely gone as the sisters hug it out and, presumably, forgive one another for... daring to admit that things are bad? Look, I'm not going to deny that Ironwood's scene with Winter was creepy as fuck,

but I'm not of the opinion that the heroes are any better when it comes to the theme of obedience. They've attacked one another, screamed at one another, and any dissent from Ruby's leadership results in the questioner being left behind in the snow. We'll accept you again when you fall back in line. I used to adore the relationships in this show, but watching them now is just discomforting. The show might be 100% more obvious with Ironwood, using creepy music, a smile, and that hand on Winter's shoulder, but the concept of, "Sorry I dared to question you before! We won't ever do it again :)" isn't healthy either. The fact that the show keeps erasing theses problems with hugs — Weiss hugs Whitley now, Yang hugs Ruby, someone will probably hug Emerald soon — doesn't make the circumstances any less uncomfortable.

None of this even gets into the Blake and Yang hug. First of all, why is Blake acting like they had a fight and Yang might not want to see her? She's hiding inside rather than rushing to greet them, ears down in a devastated expression until Yang touches her. Combine this with Yang's "Do you think she's mad at me?" and it feels like the writers cut a fight in the final script and then didn't bother to remove the fallout from that. Seriously, where did any of this come from? You can't just have characters act like they've been fighting when they haven’t.

Also, can't forget this.

At this point there's nothing more I can say in regards to RWBY's almost-queer baiting. Is touching foreheads more intimate than the hugs Yang gave the others? Absolutely. Is that an appropriate stand-in for overt representation? Absolutely not. This would have been a perfect time for them to kiss. Take out Blake's nonsensical fear and replace it with them both reuniting after their first separation since Volume 5, working under the knowledge that either one could have been killed, finally admitting their feelings. Hell, they don't actually have to kiss. Not all girlfriends are interested in kissing! But they could use the terminology that makes things unequivocally canon. Another forehead touch when we got that in Volume 6? It's not enough, especially not when our straight couples have all been allowed their rep.

Ren at least wants to know where Nora is. He's presumably told what happened off screen as Oscar tells Ruby that Emerald is their friend now.

Then an emergency call from May interrupts the reunion and the group learns that Ironwood is bombing the Schnee ships. “Those ships… they were going to save people” Weiss whispers. How? Tell me how they were going to save anyone. Where were you going to take these people where they would be safer than where they are now? RWBY continually asserts things without explaining them, meaning there is precisely zero emotional weight here. Again, Ironwood is far past the point of defense, but I'd be a whole lot more critical of this particular action if I had a better sense of why it's bad. He appears to be endangering the people given May's shout to run — falling debris? — but the further implication is that Ironwood has doomed the people of Mantle by denying them these ships. It's that part that makes no sense based on what we've been told.

Which finally comes to the ultimatum of our episode title: Penny opens the vault, or Ironwood bombs Mantle. Great! So glad this plan is wicked smart and works well for his characterization. It's definitely not a nonsensical, unfounded, overblown change that feels like it belongs in a child's cartoon, complete with dramatic spotlight. Nope. Excellent writing choices all around.

Our final line of the episode is, “I hope you live up to the title I gave you," referring to Penny's job as the Protector of Mantle, and you know what? That line could have been very cool if it was delivered by an Ironwood with a persuasive fall and a halfway decent plan in place. I love that we've twisted the concept of a protector and turned the title into a horrifying, rather than honorable responsibility... I just hate everything surrounding those details.

So, usual RWBY fare.

(At least we get to see that Nora is awake!)

Will things get better over the next four episodes? I doubt it. We're still expecting the rest of the Ace Ops + Winter to ditch Ironwood, someone getting the vault open, the fall of Atlas, now the potential destruction of Mantle, and none of that includes Salem who should reform at any moment. Frankly, I'm not looking forward to any of it. The final leg of a season should make its audience excited to see how everything turns out, not dreading it. I've heard from multiple people that this is the volume that finally got them to drop the show and honestly? I'm not surprised.

As a final (happier?) note: we've finally got a bingo! I completely forgot our board last time, which was a terrible oversight, but we can update it now.

Our army of grimm can't kill anyone now that it got KOed by Oscar (that is the third one hit defeat of a major enemy we've seen this volume. Yes, I'm including the Hound considering it was obviously on its last legs after Ruby's eyes.)

I'm likewise including "Ozpin apologizes for everything including his existence" because he's done nothing but apologize since he came back. The emotion is there even if the literal words are not. Oscar reminded everyone of how untrustworthy he is, but kept the group from jumping them again. And Ozpin thanked him for it.

Neo didn't literally backstab Cinder (shame), but the Relic still counts.

So a triple bingo! Is that how bingo works? Idk, I've never played. I feel like I should have thought up some sort of humorous prize, but sadly I've got nothing. If you think of anything, let me know lol

That’s all then, folks. Until next week! 💜

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #rwby ultimatum #rwby recaps #mymetas

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celebritytgcaptions · 3 years

Text

Requests (5/23/2021)

Hi lovelies! I’ve been getting so many requests & I’m working hard to get all of them in the queue. Thanks for sending them my way! I’m writing to let you know that the queue is now full until the end of June. I was able to get every requests from my May 8th post in there except for a few. Requests from May 8th for captions featuring Katy Perry, Jenna Fischer, Marisol Nichols, Addison Rae, Ariana Grande, Erin Kellyman, Taylor Swift, Billie Eilish, Jhene Aiko, & Kirstin Maldonado will be posted in early July.

But there have been an absolute ton of requests since then too, yay! So I’m listing all the requests that I haven’t gotten to below. If you made a request but don’t see it below that might be for a few reasons. 1) I’ve written it already and it will be posted in June. 2) It’s one of the requests I posted on May 8th so I won’t talk about it here. 3) I considered it a demand not a request (for example, I received two that said “Anything with,” that wasn’t really a request just telling me to do it. Sorry if this bothers some of you but it is an issue with me so make sure you word your requests AS requests). Either way, thanks for the love, lovelies! :D

Anonymous said:

Could you do one with either Kelley O’hara or Alex Morgan from the USWNT about a guy soccer player watching the US win the world cup and then want to be them or something like that?

I actually know who both those are (shockingly enough, I don’t really follow sports) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could you do lorengrey captions? She’s so hot

Sorry sweetie, don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

Hi I just had an idea for a game you could do. It could be where someone has to say as a boy what they’re like physically in stages. So first stage is hair color for example, second stage could be height, third stage could be body type, etc. An example would be if I was a black hair, short height, thick body type, I would match up with someone like Nicki Minaj. Just an idea which you could extend on. Hopefully it makes sense. I appreciate you!

I actually have a game like this mapped out called “Build a Sissy” where you choose age, hair color, and bra size, but it would take a LOT of work to make so I haven’t written it yet. Maybe some day though. :)

Anonymous said:

I would love to see a Tori Kelly caption. Her hair and body are not typical but beautiful for a white girl. I say that last sentence respectfully. I think having a caption with her would be great

Sure thing! Tori Kelly is a cutie. :)

Anonymous said:

Ok I'm not sure if u'll know these 2 cuz even I had to look them up for the names but anne dudek and maitland ward theyre the 2 blonde sisters from white chicks not sure if uve seen it but if u can could u make a caption for them please?

I DO know who they are! I’ve been thinking about doing a White Chicks caps because there’s a lot of cute looks in that movie (especially for Busy Phillips who I just love) so sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Could u do Yvette nicole brown from community? Id like to see some big girl love

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

I already know that this request is probably gonna be a No but I still have to ask whats the ruling on GCI enhanced celebrities like Taylor swift from Cats? Or is that too much like "Furry" stuff. Now I'm Feeling this will be a No for multiple reasons

So it is not an issue with CGI “enhanced” celebrities but for Cats it is because I do not have a Furry fetish and I get uncomfortable thinking about writing caps for it. But I write caps with “manips” all the time (photoshopped images of celebs) so I’m not ruling out CGI enhanced celebs all together.

Anonymous said:

Can you do one of Lindsey stirling? And for the story can it be a guy trying to learn Violin but he cant seem to focus he even tried hot female teachers but it didnt work then he gets a male teacher than he starts focusing and wanting to please the teacher he becomes a sissy sorry its a long request

Sounds fun, sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan and I think you’ve been doing amazing work. Is there anyway you could do a story about a guy who loses a bet to sorority girl and is forced to get his nails painted and turned into a girl? I love the idea of having a boys nails painted against his will. I’d love one with Selena Gomez but if you think another celeb would be better I leave that cumpletely to you.

Totally! This sounds fun. :D

Anonymous said:

Can you do thelma and Louise?

I’m assuming you mean Geena Davis & Susan Sarandon from Thelma & Louise so yes. Yes I can. :)

Anonymous said:

Can you do a caption from the movie bridesmaids? Like when theyre all trying on dressess or something?

I haven’t seen Bridesmaids (I know I know) but I can try something. :)

Anonymous said:

it would be super cool if you could do some more games! They’re my fav

Glad you like them! As long as I’m not on hiatus, games will be posted every second Saturday. I’ve already got two set for June. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey huge fan of your recent work and super excited about new caps!! Do you think you could do one about a college guy who drops out in pursuit of being a stand up comedian, but the comedy club needs a female comic so they turn him into a girl? I was thinking maybe Nikki Glaser, she so funny and sexy. Thanks can’t wait to see all your new stuff!!

Oooo, Nikki Glaser is great. Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Can you make a caption about a guy who makes fun of curvy and thicc women, where the women get their revenge and turn the guy into Nia Jax?

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Hi Me again on the topic of the assembly line worker caption sequel if you do it i just an idea for the story like before depicting the sissies "first time" but you can have it be that the coworker doesnt know and is telling everyone about the chick he slept with last night and the sissy is just thinking "if only they knew"idk i thought it was good anyways thank u again

So this message is in reference to a sequel caption that was requested & that I did write and will be posted in June. I’m sharing it here to let the anon know that I wrote the cap BEFORE I got this second request so there will be a followup but the story will be different. I hope that’s ok.

Anonymous said:

Hi idk if u watch wrestling or not I see u have some captions of wwe womens wrestlers but im not sure have far ur knowledge of it is? Could u do a caption of Rhea Ripley if u know her?

I have never seen a single episode of WWE, I do not watch wrestling, and yet somehow every time someone requests a wrestler I know who she is. Don’t ask me how because I do not know. Anyways, yeah I can do a Rhea Ripley one. :)

Anonymous said:

Could you do a caption about a janitor for sissy co. That finds out the strange goings on at work and tries to blow the whistle on the whole operation but is caught and turned into a sissy maid for the sissy co. Corporate office abit specific I know but ive been thinking on that awhile however u do it will be perfect thanks

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Could you do katheryn Hahn from wandavision specifically the 80s look with the Big hair and aerobics outfit

Oooo, sounds nice. I’ll type that up for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi big fan of your caps!! Do you think you could do a cap where a football player wants to go to the NFL but gets hurt, so they turn him into a female commentator, maybe Lauren Rutledge? If you don’t know her, she’s been a college football reporter for awhile and was also a former Miss Florida. Anyways I just think any guy would be lucky to be turned into her and I love your caps keep up the great work!!

Me: *googles Lauren Rutledge to see if it’s who I’m thinking of* How do I know who this is? Anyways, yes I can write this. :)

...for some reason there are no GIFs of her though so I’m just gonna move on.

Anonymous said:

Hi I'm the one that requested the LONG list of celebs I'm still really sorry about that I didnt realize how many it actually was till I looked back so I wanna retract some for your sake tell ya what if you havent done any already just do the ones that are specifically marked (as in the ones detailed by movie or show theyre in) the ones that are just names you can leave out i knoe its still alot but hopefully that takes some weight off of ya sorry again

You don’t have to be sorry! Like I said, in the future I’d ask that folks limit requests to no more than 3 celebs at a time but you didn’t know that. I’d never said that before. I typed up every celebrity and they’re going to be sprinkled in during June. Hope you like them! :)

Anonymous said:

Hello ^^ I love your work. Can u make a caption with the name "jules" and Ariana Grande please? Thank you

Sure thing!

Anonymous said:

Hey, not really an ask, but something I needed to share

I'm the one that asked for the Stephanie Beatriz caption from a whole back, and I absolutely loved how it turned out. Each time you roll out a new caption is like a small thrill to me and I read them right as they're released.

Now this wouldn't be an ask if I wasn't asking something, right? Well, next month sees the release of the "In the Heights" movie, and there's an opportunity there to do a series of captions using stephanie Beatriz from that same movie.

In conclusion, I love your captions so much, you're amazing!

Awww, this is such a sweet message. Thank you! And YAAASSSSS! Ever since the first trailer for In the Heights dropped I was like, “I must write a caption with her in this!” So you can imagine how fun it’s been waiting this entire time. *eye twitches*. We’ll have to wait until the movie comes out for me to be sure I can find a good image but this IS a caption I want to write. :)

Anonymous said:

Hi I just recently came across your blog and fell in love with it!! The caption with the football player being turned into Bella Thorne is one of my favorites!! I’d love so much if you could do a sequel or something to that cap it was so amazing and I need to know what else happens to “her”. I’m not sure if this is possible or if you even do sequels but this cap was great and I look forward to all the others!!!

Glad you like it! I’m always looking for sequel captions to write on Throwback Thursday so you’ll get this for sure. :)

Anonymous said:

Hey big fan! Do you think you could do a caption where a short guy gets made fun of by all his girl friends for how short he is? Ariana Grande is fairly short and I think a caption of her (of age of course) would be awesome

You got it!

Anonymous said:

Can you do one with the bella twins as two guys who fought over the same girl then the girl turns them both into look alikes of her but then they start fighting over the same guy

Yep!

Anonymous said:

Do you know suzy berhow? Or angie Griffin? If so would love a caption of either of them please

Sorry sweetie, I don’t know who those are. :(

Anonymous said:

Would appreciate more Sia captions please when u get the chance

I will remember that. :)

Anonymous said:

Can make some Winnie Harlow caption please? I adore her style

Sorry lovely, I don’t know who that is. :(

Anonymous said:

How about instead of removing the captions with Demi in them ,the images of Demi were just replaced with another celeb and if Demi is mentioned by name in the caption then that could be edited to mention a different celeb. I respect Demi's decision I do but lets not lose some well made captions. Also if you could please make a caption where Amy Adams feminises a fan and raises them as her daughter and Kristen Stewart makes you her submissive wife that would be appreciated. I'm a fan of them.

So about the Demi Lovato captions: I understand your feelings but I’m still going to delete the original captions. Because of how my captions are made I can’t just go back in & swap out an image or edit the text, I have to remake it from the ground up. I am hoping to do that with some (maybe all) of the Demi Lovato captions & re-publish them, but I’m still going to delete the originals.

I can do the Kristen Stewart one for sure and I’ll TRY to do the Amy Adams one I just am not 100% sure I can find a pic for that but we’ll see. :)

Anonymous said:

If it’s possible before your summer hiatus could you do a caption with Amanda Crew (silicon valley, sex drive)?

I will do one with Amanda Crew but I can’t commit to doing it before the hiatus.

About the hiatus: I don’t know when it’s going to be. I want to TRY to make it to at least July 18th because I have a specific game in mind I want to post for 5 years of Celebrity TG Captions games, but after that I have no idea. I’ve been writing caps for a longer stretch of time since normal since I’ve switched to a part-time blog so I might burn out at any second but for right now I’ve still got some juice.

#Not a Caption #Requests #Request

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airesgay · 3 years

Text

Feelings 101

Chapter 17: the one with resolutions

Relationship: Jennifer jareau/emily prentiss

Summary: the friends au where they all work at NYU, and Emily and JJ find themselves reconnecting after 17 years. There are also mixtapes.

Chapter summary: As the year draws to a close both Emily and JJ think about what they really want, and if they're able to deny themselves it any longer.

Chapter word count: 8,077

Songs:

Let's Get It Started - Black Eyed Peas

Crazy In Love - Beyonce

Bootylicious - Destiny's Child

Cha Cha Slide - DJ Casper

Don't Cha - Pussycat Dolls

Tainted Love - Soft Cell

Rock Your Body - Justine Timberlake

Auld Lang Syne - Guy Lombardo

Read it on ao3

“Puppies, kittens, sunshine, kindness, a deeper sense of self, a new track pad and high definition camera.”

Emily leaned over, studying the list Penelope was dutifully making. They were having their morning coffee at Central Perk, as they had done for the past week. They, like many others, were really making the most of the snowstorm passing.

“What you got there?” She asked, “A shopping list?” She didn’t think you could buy a deeper sense of self from the local grocery store – or puppies or kittens for that matter.

Penelope’s mouth curved up in a smile. She paused her writing for a moment to swat Emily playfully. “No silly.”

“They’re her new year’s resolutions,” JJ explained.

They both whipped their heads up to see JJ approaching their table. She was still catching her breath, sweat glistening over her collarbones in all her post run glory. Emily wasn’t unfamiliar with the sight by now but it still made her stomach flip.

There was also the new sight of the butterfly necklace hanging around her neck, glinting in the light. The way that sight in particular made Emily’s heart skip a beat was still something to get used to. She’d hardly taken it off since opening it on Christmas morning, only parting with it to take a shower or occasionally when she slept.

JJ wrapped up her earphones as she plopped herself down on the other side of Penelope.

“Hmm,” JJ mused, examining the list for herself. “We just acquired a cat and a dog, are you saying you’re not satisfied?”

Penelope rolled her eyes, like JJ was completely missing the point. “No, this list is about what I want to surroundmyself with in the New Year, more like energies, not necessarily purchases.”

JJ nodded, like it was obvious now. “Oh, of course.” She paused for a moment before considering a thought. “I know somewhere you could surround yourself with puppies and kittens. A shelter, where a certain dashing - ”

“You two should make your own lists,” Penelope cut her off in a fluster.

JJ smirked, looking to Emily who hid her laugh behind her mug of coffee. Neither of them had missed the way Penelope reacted to Luke, the way her eyes would flicker down at the mere mention of him. Tara had been keeping in touch with her old college buddy after they’d been reunited at the shelter, and then again at the market. The fact that he was also a friend of Matt’s was a happy coincidence. It was almost inevitable that he’d assimilate into their group, a fact Penelope seemed in denial about.

At first Emily hadn’t been sure what it was about – she’d had her suspicions, but the psychology of Penelope Garcia was still new to her. JJ had cleared things up. Penelope loves to flirt,she’d told Emily, as they were out shopping for groceries one morning, their topic of conversation still sleeping soundly. Emily had certainly noticed Penelope’s love of that particular pastime, but she’d listened intently as JJ continued. But it’s not very often that she has to run into them again, or better yet, they become an actual part of her life. The prospect of something more happening, something real… I think it freaks her out. And Luke, well, I’ve never seen her so freaked out.

So Penelope liked Luke. A lot. And it rattled her. Emily recalled these thoughts as she watched JJ smiling down at the list, eyes sparkling. Yeah, Emily could relate to that.

“I don’t know if I’ll bother with a list this year,” JJ said, letting her tired legs stretch out in front of her and under the table.

Penelope gasped. “You have to! It sets the tone for your whole year.”

JJ scrunched up her nose. “But all it ever does is make you feel like a failure when you don’t complete everything. Isn’t that the case with everyone?”

Penelope shook her head, continuing with her own list. “That’s because you set actual goals.”

“As opposed to your… energies, ah I see where I’ve gone wrong now.”

Penelope swatted her on the arm and JJ laughed. She made fun, but it was undeniable that Penelope was the happiest person she knew, generally speaking – she had her demons just like anyone – but she was pretty good at keeping things optimistic. Maybe she had a point. And apparently, Emily agreed. She was currently clicking out her own pen, nodding towards the paper.

“Okay, I’ll bite, how does one make a New Years Resolution list, Penelope Garcia style?”

JJ’s eyebrows shot up. Emily smiled. Penelope exploded.

“Oh yay! Okay, so basically the most important thing is to think about what makes you happy – it could be anything, even little things you don’t think about like….”

She rambled on, explaining her ethos to a perplexed looking Emily. But she just nodded along, clearly doing her best to follow her friends weird and wonderful ways. JJ smiled and eventually gave in, asking Jordan if she could borrow a pen when she came to ask for her order.

“So do you have any plans for tonight?” she asked as she accepted the outstretched pen with a smile.

Jordan let out a sigh, stuffing her hands into the front of her apron. “No, I was meant to be going to a friends but they decided to stay with their family back in Dallas. Think the snowstorm scared them off.”

JJ gave her a sympathetic smile. “I’m sorry. Really messed things up for everyone that thing.”

Penelope nodded with a huff. “A real bastard.”

Jordan laughed as she made to turn back to the counter. Emily nearly spilled hot coffee all over herself when Penelope whipped around, arm stretched over the back of the couch.

“Hey, we’re going to a party tonight, why don’t you come?”

The spare pen in Jordan’s hand fell to the counter, her mouth hanging open. “I… I don’t want to impose.”

Penelope waved her hand. “Oh, it’s no bother honestly, the more the merrier!”

Jordan still looked unsure, her eyes flickering to Emily and JJ to gauge their reaction. Both just offered a warm smile.

“But I don’t even know this friend of yours.”

Penelope snorted. “Kate’s cool, and we have good street cred. Any friend of ours is a friend of hers, really.”

A blush spread over Jordan’s cheeks and she finally gave a small nod, eyes falling onto Emily just a moment longer.

“What’s that?”

They all collectively looked to each other, eyes wide, as Rossi strode in from the back.

“Oh, just - ” Penelope fumbled with her words.

But Rossi just cracked into a smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t cramp your style. I’m having a quiet get together here for the old timers.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t say - ” Penelope started to say, what she wasn’t quite sure, but Rossi raised a hand to stop her yet again.

“Really, it’s okay. You kids have fun. But hey.” He pointed a finger, face stern. “Not too much.” A parting wink let them know he was joking.

Penelope laughed nervously as she turned back around. “Oh god I wasn’t ageist was I?”

JJ gave a light laugh, patting her on the back. “Just be glad you won’t have to apologise to Kate for bringing a hoard of horny 60 year old women with you tonight.”

Penelope shuddered. “Rossi fan girls are the worst.”

“I’m not even asking,” Emily said, taking another gulp of coffee.

“Hey don’t go crazy on the caffeine, you need to fill yourself up with real food before tonight.” Penelope was grinning in a way that made Emily nervous.

She looked to JJ who just shook her head.

* * *

Emily set down her fork, leaning back in her chair with an almighty groan. She didn’t think after thanksgiving and Christmas dinner, she’d ever eat so much again, certainly not so soon.

“I’m right there with you,” JJ mumbled from beside her. She was slumped so far down her chair that she was nearly under the table.

“Are our stomachs suitably lined?” Penelope asked. She still had a spring in her step as she returned from paying for the bill.

Emily gestured what she hoped was a nod.

They’d ended up at a very nice café only a few blocks down that seemed to only serve brunch, in vast amounts – otherwise known on New Year’s Eve as pre-drinking food. And it seemed everyone there had the same idea. All around them were people sat in front of bowls of oats, berries and bananas, Greek yoghurt, melon, something she’d been informed by Penelope was Chia pudding, and eggs – lots and lots of eggs. Emily herself had consumed a mountain.

She also didn’t miss how much younger the people around them were. There had to be at least a decade between her and the boy who was snapping pictures of his avocado on toast. It made her groan even louder.

“Aw come on, you’ll thank me later.” Penelope grinned and hauled them both up to their feet.

JJ laughed as she held the door open for them both. “Pen, I told you, you’re not getting me drunk.”

Penelope huffed as they made their way down the bustling street. Emily had remembered how busy Christmas had been in New York – New Year was even worse. In these hours before the real celebrations started, it was like the entire city was buzzing: people scurrying around and filling shopping carts with alcohol like Armageddon was upon them. With the way the sun was starting to set behind buildings, it did have that apocalyptic glow about it.

“But it’s like sacrilege to waste all that preparation!” Penelope protested. “Well Emily, I know you won’t let me down.”

Emily laughed uneasily as Penelope turned her attention onto her. “You’ve never even seen me drunk.”

Penelope just grinned. “And that’s all the more reason! I need to know what Emily Prentiss is like under the influence.”

She winked and Emily shook her head, continuing forward down the street. They were close to Central Park now. Emily looked to her watch. She really could do with walking off some of their feast.

“Hey, do we have time for a walk?” She asked. They were close enough to the park now that she only had to nod forward and they understood her meaning.

Penelope looked down to her watch like Emily just had. “We still have another hour or so before we need to get ready. I’d say that’s a splendid idea!”

The three of them were getting the subway out to Kate’s apartment in Brooklyn, while Derek and Spencer dropped Clooney and Sergio off at a sitter. Emily could tell when she left that morning that Sergio knew exactly what was in store for him. But the sitter they’d called had ensured them they’d be kept apart. She’d felt guilty, but it was better than the alternative: leaving them alone in their apartments on New Years Eve with all the noise – there was sure to be fireworks, and none of them felt comfortable leaving them alone.

Matt himself had given them the recommendation of the sitter – he was dropping Bonnie and Clyde off there this afternoon too. A sweet old lady who loved animals and didn’t have any desire to leave her house just outside the city, she was the perfect fit. Matt had actually said Bonnie and Clyde loved running around her back yard so much, he’d worried they wouldn’t want to come home. But as soon as he’d come to pick them up the next week they’d nearly knocked him over in their excitement. Emily wasn’t sure Sergio had that much of an attachment to her; she’d see how he reacted tomorrow.

Penelope smiled at Emily’s suggestion of a walk and looped her arm with hers. Emily tried to hide her surprise when JJ chose to walk on Emily’s side rather than Penelope’s, looping her arm in a similar fashion. She just smiled at her, like it was a completely natural act for them now. Emily supposed it was. They were friends after all.

Still, she found herself wishing Penelope wasn’t on the other side of her, that it was just the two of them, walking over a snowy street on Christmas day…

She nearly shook her head as she once again tried to banish the thought. But it was getting harder and harder.

As they entered Central Park she let her attention fall onto the many friends and families, enjoying the snow now that the storm had passed. She couldn’t help but be particularly captivated by the ice-skaters, two people whizzing around the ice like they were born doing it. She had to admit, it was impressive, the grace they managed to maintain when going at such a speed. She thought back to Penelope explaining how to write their resolutions list – one point being to include at least one new skill you wanted to learn. Emily mulled this over as she watched a woman fly into the air and execute a perfect twirl before landing softly.

* * *

JJ cursed as a man stumbled in front of her, nearly spilling his open can of cider all over her coat. It wasn’t yet 6pm but the festivities were in full swing on the subway from Manhattan to Brooklyn. They hadn’t been above ground to see the sunset but JJ sensed the shift from day to night, just as their present company seemed to.

“Haaaappy New Year!!!” A woman sang who was getting dangerously close to them with what looked like a raised lighter.

JJ automatically shifted away, which left her squeezed into Emily’s side. She just gave her an uneasy smile. While JJ wasn’t a big fan of the subway when it got this busy, she was still familiar enough with the experience. By the bewildered look on Emily’s face she could tell this was a first for her.

“You doing okay there?” JJ asked. It was so loud in the carriage – they’d all started singing now – that Emily was only able to hear her given their close proximity.

Emily grimaced. “Uh, yeah, I don’t tend to get the subway this late.”

JJ nodded in understanding. “Taxi?”

Emily laughed. “If I’m even out after nightfall.”

JJ smiled and gestured to the carriage that was all but shaking as the crowd began to jump to the music. “Well New Year isn’t the best introduction to nighttime subway rides.”

Plus, there was the fact it was a half-hour long journey. She sensed Emily had opted for a taxi every time she’d met them out at the youth centre too. Since she’d been staying with them she’d gotten the subway into work in the morning with the rest of them – bar Derek if he’d gotten the notion to run all the way in that day. But JJ had to admit; even Emily on the subway at 8am was an odd sight. The way she would sit with her whole body contracted, eyes shifting uneasily to the people around her, well, JJ got the feeling Emily favored a taxi ride over the subway even in daylight hours.

Still, she couldn’t deny the contentment she felt at having an excuse to be this close to Emily. Maybe that was selfish, but she found herself caring less and less every day. But she didn’t want Emily to feel uncomfortable. She discretely shifted a hand to her knee, hoping the gesture would help. Emily smiled back.

“2006!!!!” They both snapped their heads up at the voice breaking out over the crowd’s singing.

Penelope had gotten to her feet at some point without them noticing, and was currently swinging herself round one of the poles - a picture of absolute glee.

JJ laughed. “6 more hours yet Pen,” she called over the noise, but she didn’t hear her.

JJ then felt Emily’s hand cover her own that was rested on her knee. It could be the atmosphere, or the fact that Penelope clearly wasn’t paying them any attention, but JJ smiled back without any reservation. One thing was certain; it was getting harder to deny herself this feeling.

* * *

20 minutes or so later they were stepping off the carriage and onto the waiting platform. Emily fumbled, nearly dropping the hefty bag of snacks they were travelling with. Kate had assured them they didn’t need to bring any drinks, she had that covered – and it wasn’t exactly the best thing to be hauling around New York City at night. Emily had visions of smashed wine bottles all over the subway floor and counted herself lucky.

Meanwhile, JJ was dragging Penelope off the carriage who’d struck up a dance with a group of equally lively girls. Emily had never been so glad to feel the cold air hit her as they ascended the stairs leading to the surface. Out of all the new experiences living in New York brought her, the subway wasn’t at the top of her list. Although being so close to JJ was a convincing incentive.

Emily let JJ and Penelope lead her down the street towards Kate’s apartment. It wasn’t far from the youth centre at all – just on the other side of Brooklyn Bridge. When they stopped outside the building Emily noted how it appeared to be an old structure, but recently revamped: still oozing history with its signature red brick, but with a fancy intercom system installed. Penelope buzzed it.

“Yello!” Kate’s chipper voice rang out a second later – clearly she’d started the festivities already.

“It’s your dealer,” Penelope replied with a cheeky smile.

“Oh good, we’re getting antsy. Please come up.”

With another buzz the door opened and Penelope pushed through, holding it for Emily and JJ.

After hearing that Kate’s apartment was on the top floor, Emily’s shoulders sagged in relief at seeing the very inviting elevator in the lobby. Her initial suspicions of the wealth of the building were confirmed when Kate threw open her apartment door.

“Come to me!” Kate grabbed the bag of snacks from Emily as she let the others step inside.

Emily followed after them, taking in the space. Exposed red brick, the same as the kind on its exterior, decorated the back wall, where a bar was already well stocked. There were fairy lights hanging overhead while the main lights were dimmed, giving the impression they really were out at a pub on New Years Eve. The countertop was sleek, and the barstools clearly made from fine leather, but the lights and the brick still gave it a rustic feel. Fluffy white beanbags adorned the outskirts of the lounge to the right. A dining table had been pushed to the side to make room for a makeshift dance floor over dark wood. It was extravagant but cozy at the same time – Emily couldn’t help thinking it was like a perfect blend of JJ and Penelope’s apartment and her own.

“Nice place,” Emily said, still soaking the space up.

“Thank you.” A man popped his head up from behind the bar: dark hair and a clean-shaven baby face, he gave her a beaming smile.

“You must be Chris.” Emily recalled the conversations at the youth centre where Kate had mentioned her boyfriend. Partner? They weren’t married or engaged as far as she knew.

“That I am.” He set some glasses on the counter and rounded it to greet them.

He smiled at Penelope and JJ, already previously acquainted, and offered Emily his hand.

“And you must be Emily.” A firm handshake.

“That I am.”

The smile didn’t drop from his face as their hands fell. “Well it’s great to have another person helping out at the centre, I know those kids really appreciate everything you do.”

“He loves to live vicariously through my good deeds while he’s holed up typing numbers into a computer all day.”

Kate gave a wry smile as she started unpacking the bag of snacks, JJ helping her with the bowls.

“Hey!” Penelope protested, but both laughed.

Emily wracked her brain, trying to remember what Kate’s partner did for a living.

“Computer software,” Chris providing, seeing the confusion on her face, “I won’t bore you with the details.”

Emily nodded, vaguely recalling snippets of conversation.

“Yeah well, I can’t complain.” Kate gestured at the luxurious apartment. Clearly the job paid well.

There was a knowing look between both Kate and Chris then, the hint of a smile on their lips.

“Yeah,” Chris said, “Anyone would think she was marrying me for my money.”

Silence.

“Excuse me?” JJ asked, head zipping back and forth. Penelope was frozen to the spot beside Kate.

With a grin she displayed her left hand out in front of her, a very noticeable diamond ring dazzling before them. Penelope broke out of her frozen state with a gasp, grabbing Kate’s hand with vigor.

“Kate Callahan I cannot believe you!” she was spluttering, not being able to decide whether she was happy or angry at being blind sighted.

Kate shrugged. “We wanted to surprise you.”

“What about the others?” Penelope stopped again, panic setting in. “Wait, we’re not the last to know are we?”

Kate laughed. “Of course not, do you think I’m crazy? No, we thought this way we get to do it more than once.”

JJ laughed, shaking her head. “Well I think champagne is in order?”

Kate grinned and made to get the glasses, but JJ lifted a hand. “Let us mere singletons get that for you. This is your engagement party after all, right? That’s what this is.”

Kate stepped back with her hands up, glad to step down, while JJ rounded the counter. Chris collected their coats, taking them to hang up in their wardrobe when the intercom rang. Kate pushed the button and they were greeted with the jolly voice of Derek Morgan.

“Hey I heard there was a party here? Free booze?”

Kate rolled her eyes before letting them up.

“The kids get off okay?” Penelope asked when they strode in.

Kate quirked an eyebrow.

“Sergio and Clooney,” JJ explained as she handed her a freshly poured glass of champagne.

Kate smirked.

“Our kids,”Penelope reiterated.

“Well ourkid was absolutely fine,” Derek said as she shucked off his coat. “Couldn’t run off to play with the other kids fast enough. Emily’slittle rascal however...”

Emily rolled her eyes, taking a seat at the bar. “Did he bite anyone?”

“No, but - ”

“Did he scratch anyone?”

Derek gave a smug sort of smile as he rolled up the sleeves of his open collared shirt. A pattern of fresh scratches adorned his left arm. Emily considered it for a moment.

“Only one casualty?”

Spencer nodded for him.

Emily shrugged. “I don’t see the problem then.”

Derek pulled his sleeve back down, shaking his head with a laugh. “Yeah well, you want to take Sergio to that place again, you take him yourself.”

Chris came to collect their coats and both of them joined the others around the bar.

“What about actual kids,” Kate said, leaning over the counter, “Has Kayla got plans tonight?”

Derek nodded. “She’s going to a party on campus but I don’t know if I want anymore details than that.”

Kate nodded back. “Wise, I go by the same rules with Meg. I know she’s at a friends tonight and I trust her, so that’s good enough for me.”

Meg - Kate’s niece that she’d adopted, Emily recalled. She wasn’t aware of all the details, but she remembered JJ telling her that her sister had died. Knowing what she knew now, she thought about how much JJ could relate, no matter the circumstances.

Spencer frowned, only then noticing what Kate was drinking. Usually they waited until midnight to crack open the champagne. Of course, it didn’t take long for his eyes to fall onto the ring glistening off of Kate’s left hand. He opened his mouth to speak before Kate beat him to it.

* * *

Over the next hour or so more guests streamed into the apartment, Kate and Chris both reveling in the chance to share their news again and again - although, as more people arrived, it got harder to hide the secret. Both were glad Penelope had been among those they’d told first.

The party was in full swing now, despite there still being 3 hours until midnight. More people seemed to just keep flooding in and the space was becoming more and more cramped.

Penelope and Derek had long since claimed centre stage of the dance floor, moving their bodies together to songs Emily didn’t know, in ways she wasn’t sure would be appropriate in public. Tara and Luke stood watching them from the side, nodding along – Penelope avoiding Luke’s obvious gaze. Matt and Kristy were cuddled up in two of the fluffy beanbags, looking like the cheesy already married couple. Hotch and Haley were right there next to them, a weird kind of happy glaze over the criminal law professor’s eyes. Spencer was helping make drinks in the kitchen, which Emily couldn’t help laugh at: she would never have pegged Dr. Reid as a bartender.

Everyone seemed to be having a good time in their own way. But Emily couldn’t help looking for JJ – not that she was keeping tabs on her or anything, she knew she knew more people here than she did. But she hadn’t seen her in an hour at least among the sea of people. One of your friends going missing at a party where most people were strangers was something you noticed.

A consequence of the thumping bass of the music her friends were dancing to, and the constant chatter of voices competing to be heard, was that the buzz of the intercom was completely overshadowed. Emily only heard it because she’d been standing right next to the door.

“Uh, guys,” she gestured awkwardly to the door, seeking out Kate or Chris, but both were busy discussing wedding plans with a couple Emily didn’t know. They were a lot of people here Emily didn’t know. Kate had a lot of friends.

Not getting an answer from anyone, Emily hesitantly pressed the button on the intercom, allowing her to speak.

“Hello?”

The voice on the other end sounded both muffled and harassed. “Hi, I’m Penelope’s friend?” She said it as if she wasn’t sure.

Emily’s brow furrowed for a moment before she remembered. “Oh Jordan, hi!”

“Emily?”

“Yeah, come on up.” She buzzed her in and opened the door out to the stairway.

She was honestly glad to have someone who was just as out of place as her at this party, maybe even more so. A minute later Jordan was rounding the corner up the stairs, looking as harassed as she’d sounded on the intercom.

Emily gave a light laugh. “You find the place okay?”

Jordan heaved a sigh as she reached the top. “I may have gotten off at the wrong subway stop.”

Emily hissed in a breath.

“Yeah,” Jordan laughed, “I’m just glad to make it before midnight.”

Emily smiled. “Here, I’ll take your coat for you.”

Jordan looked up and froze, seeing Emily properly for the first time. She was dressed in tight black jeans and a shimmery (Penelope had told her sparkles were mandatory on New Year’s Eve) red top that scooped rather low at the neck. It was paired with a belt that sat slightly off centre, but somehow brought the whole look together. Her hair was gently curled, courtesy of Penelope’s own curlers.

“You, uh,” Jordan fumbled with her words, her throat suddenly feeling very dry.

Emily raised a brow, concerned. “You okay? You must be freezing, come on inside.”

She guided Jordan into the jumping apartment. The younger woman sighed in relief at her tongue-tied state clearly being misinterpreted.

* * *

JJ peeked her head around the door, scoping out the packed living room across the hall. She’d been hiding out in Chris’ study for the past half hour or so. Thankfully it was a pretty nice space, but she couldn’t sit there forever: one, someone would notice, and two, she really needed to use the bathroom. She shouldn’t have downed that glass of champagne Kate had insisted she have. One final look at the living room confirmed it was safe for her to make the dash across the hall. She was just stepping out when someone collided into her.

“Whoa there!”

JJ stepped back, blinking rapidly. She looked up. “Pen?”

Penelope stood up tall, giving her a coy look. “Hello JJ, what might you be doing in here?”

JJ shifted on her feet, body tightening. “I’m hiding,” she said in a hushed voice.

Penelope rolled her eyes. “Well yes I knowthat. I was being sarcastic.”

JJ gave her a shove, grumbling. “Look I need to go to the bathroom, can you cover me?”

Penelope laughed. “JJ, honey, come on this is ridiculous. He lives in the city; you could run into him at any point. I’m surprised you haven’t already honestly. It’s better to get it out the way. Like a Band-Aid.”

JJ scoffed. “Yeah, uh, no thanks.”

Penelope shook her head, arms folded. “For someone who counsels teenagers on handling their emotions, you’re being very immature.”

A second later there was a voice calling down the corridor. “Penelope?” Luke.

Penelope’s eyes shot wide open and she pushed JJ back into the room, tumbling in after her. Once the door shut behind them, she put her ear up against it, listening for footsteps.

JJ smirked, folding her arms in a similar fashion to the way Penelope just had. “I’m being immature huh?”

Penelope waved her off. “Completely different situation.”

A minute passed before Penelope was happy that he was gone. She let out a breath and turned around. “He’s gone.”

“Great, can I go pee now?”

Penelope stepped aside to let JJ through. “I’ll just chill here for a bit, need a break from all the moves busting.”

JJ laughed as she opened the door – only to run into yet another obstacle.

“Kate – hi.”

She wracked her brain for a not crazy reason for why she’d been hiding out in her boyfriends – fiancée’sstudy, for the better part of an hour.

She was met with a half amused, half concerned look, Kate’s eyes darting across her face, trying to determine which was more appropriate.

“Hey, you guys know there’s a party going on out there right? Unless..” She looked past JJ shoulder to see Penelope spinning around on the very luxurious desk chair. “There’s a better party going on in here?”

JJ sighed and motioned for Kate to step through. She looked at her expectantly, waiting for an explanation. JJ bit her lip, hoping the words didn’t sound as pathetic as they did in her head.

“My ex is out there.”

Kate blanked for a moment before the realization dawned on her. “Oh crap. I totally forgot.”

Penelope let out a cackle, JJ a breathy laugh.

“Well, I wish I could say the same.” She ran a hand through her hair. “I know it’s stupid, but we didn’t end on the best of terms and I haven’t seen him since, I just - ”

“I get it,” Kate said. JJ smiled. “God I can’t believe I forgot. I shouldn’t have invited him.”

JJ shook her head. “Don’t be silly, he’s Chris’s friend.”

Kate tilted her head. “More like friend of a friend.”

“Anyway,” JJ continued, “I’m being silly. Pen is right, I just need to get this over with.”

Penelope gave a triumphant cheer, still spinning around. JJ really hoped she hadn’t had as much to drink as she thought. In any case, they should both get out of Chris’ very nice, clean study.

“Hey, I can make an anonymous tip from the other side of Manhattan if you want? They’re always on duty you know.”

JJ laughed but shook her head. “Thanks but it’s fine, I’ve got this.”

Kate smiled back, giving her a reassuring squeeze on her arm. Her eyes drifted down to JJ’s neck. “Hey, that’s a new necklace.”

JJ looked down to the butterfly necklace displayed proudly across her chest. She smiled. She’d gotten so many compliments on it and every time it made her tingle. Like she had, well, butterflies in her stomach.

“Yeah, it was a gift.”

Kate gave her a suspicious look, her smile growing. “Well whoever got it must like you a lot.”

JJ tried to calm the butterflies that were now very much stirring up a frenzy. “Well, I better get going. Need to pee and all.”

Kate laughed as she all but ran past her out the door.

“This is so much fun, I need to get one!” Penelope was spinning around in the chair at what was now an alarming speed.

Kate shook her head. “Okay, Garcia, I’m cutting you off. No more spinny chair for you.”

She was met with a blurry pout, still in motion.

* * *

“Whiskey on the rocks please Spencer,” Emily requested, leaning her elbows across the bar. “And for you?” She looked to Jordan who still didn’t seem quite right, but she couldn’t tell why.

She was sat stiffly in the barstool next to her, seeming overwhelmed by even the simple question. “Um, I’ll have a… cider, do you have that?”

Spencer grinned. “Oh they have everything here.”

He turned around to make them their drinks. Emily watched him work with an admiring smile. “This suits you, did you ever consider giving up teaching, opening a bar?”

Spencer smiled back as he easily located the two bottles. “Teaching is my first passion in life, following by magic tricks.”

“So this is…?”

He shrugged, reaching up for two clean glasses. “Where I’m most comfortable in this situation. I’m not much of a dancer, as I’m sure you noticed, but I like to be around my friends and I like to talk to people. Besides, someone needs to keep track of how much everyone’s drinking.”

Jordan laughed at that, and Emily smiled. She could understand Spencer’s point. He slid over their drinks when they were ready and Emily didn’t delay in testing it out.

“Oh that hits the spot,” she breathed out. “Seriously Spencer, you should consider a career change.”

Spencer smiled, throwing a dishtowel over his shoulder. “It’s all just chemistry.”

Emily stiffened then, sensing a man walking up behind them.

“Hey bartender, you got any beers going?” Well, that was what Emily thought he said; she couldn’t be sure given the ridiculously heavy southern drawl dripping off the words.

Spencer’s smile faltered for a moment, clearly caught off guard, but he recovered quickly. “Sure thing, Will.”

Will.Emily noted the name, for reasons she wasn’t quite sure of yet. The man – Will, decided he was joining them, and took the empty seat beside Emily. It was a free country she supposed. They were both invited here. Spencer seemed to know him, which, given his small circle, said something.

“Good evening ladies.” He tipped his head towards them in what some probably thought was a chivalrous manner. The only thing he was missing was a cowboy hat.

Emily gave him a tight smile back, instinctively shifting away from him and closer to Jordan. She didn’t see the beaming smile that left the younger woman with. Spencer made his drink with the same professionalism as he had the others, sliding it over to Will less than a minute later.

Will took a sip from it, savoring the taste. Emily thought he didn’t need any more. She hadn’t previously smelled alcohol on his breath exactly, but there was an unmistakable glaze to his eyes that made her uneasy.

He paused before his next words. “Hey Spencer, have you seen JJ?”

Oh, yeah. Emily felt very uneasy. “Excuse me,” she said, sliding off the stool and muttering something about needing the bathroom.

* * *

There was a knock at the door as JJ was washing her hands.

“Just a minute!” she called back.

She shook the excess water off her hands before reaching for the towel by the sink, silently psyching herself up for joining the rest of the party. But as she opened the door and was met with the sight of Emily giving her a surprised smile, all her nerves evaporated.

“Hey,” she greeted, smile widening, “I was starting to think you’d ditched us.”

JJ laughed, trying to hide her embarrassment. “Oh no, I’ve been around.”

Emily didn’t break her gaze, which made JJ feel nerves again, but this time of a very different kind.

“I must have just missed you then.”

JJ didn’t know how she was meant to take those words; did Emily mean they just hadn’t run into each other or had she actually missed her? Either way, the butterflies were back. The alcohol in her system also didn’t help matters.

“Oh sorry,” she said, breaking out of her daze, “I’ll let you,” She took a step aside, gesturing to the bathroom.

But Emily was still watching her. JJ could see a thought cross her face. She wasn’t sure what she was expecting but it wasn’t the words that came out of her mouth a second later.

“Ice-skating.”

JJ blinked. “What?”

Emily squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, like she was berating herself. But then she opened them again and her smile was back. That beautiful smile that made JJ feel like everything was going to be okay.

“My new years resolution. A new skill,” Emily clarified, “I’d like to learn how to ice-skate. Properly I mean, not just avoiding falling over.”

She was suddenly speaking with a confidence that quite frankly caught JJ off guard. But she liked it. She smiled back.

“You have a teacher in mind?” Her voice had taken on a teasing tone, matching Emily’s newfound conviction.

JJ swore she saw Emily smirk. “I think so.”

JJ’s stomach was doing summersaults and she could still taste the gin she’d just drank on her lips and Emily was smiling at her and her eyes fell to her deep red lips, and she thought, I’m going to do it – I’m really going to kiss Emily outside this bathroom with all these people to see.

But just as she was about to reach for her dream it was snatched away – literally. Penelope came out of nowhere and grabbed Emily’s arm, swiftly leading her to the dance floor.

“Penelope, what.” But there was no arguing with Penelope Garcia, especially one fuelled with alcohol.

“You owe me a dance my sweet!”

Emily just had time to turn her head back to roll her eyes at JJ, an exasperated sort of smile on her lips. JJ couldn’t help but laugh, feeling like she’d just come back down to earth. God, what had she been thinking? She shook her head and followed her friends into the crowd.

* * *

Emily collapsed into one of the fluffy beanbags, trying to catch her breath. What Penelope had called one dance had turned into five, and something called the Cha Cha Slide that was quite frankly sadistic. It would have been difficult enough to land all the moves in an empty room, never mind with a sea of bodies bumping into her. She’d just about managed the clapping bit. Everything had become a blur, and she’d lost JJ to the crowd. She raised her head, scanning the undulating cluster, but it was impossible.

The only people she could make out clearly were Derek and Penelope who were back in the middle, performing their own rendition of a song that Emily didn’t know, but instantly made her cheeks flush. Penelope had clearly lost some of her inhibitions with the more she drank, now making very deliberate eye contact with Luke, who after seeking her out all night, now stood looking at a loss for words while he was all but serenaded to.

There was another exasperated sigh beside her and Emily turned to see Jordan falling into the other beanbag. She’d also lost her inhibitions, no longer looking cagey.

“You guys know how to party,” she breathed, wiping sweaty hair out of her face.

Emily laughed. “Theyknow how to party,” she said with a nod to Penelope and Derek advancing on Luke.

He was laughing uneasily, not sure how to respond. Poor guy. Emily considered snapping some pictures to show Penelope in the morning. She wasn’t sure how much of this she’d remembered, and she really wanted to ensure no moment of this was lost on her.

The music then transitioned into a new song, and Emily couldn’t help but react.

“Oh, a song I know!” Tainted Love.

Jordan giggled and flipped her hair again. “You want to dance?”

Emily let out a breath. “I mean, I can’t really pass up on the one song I know can I?”

Still weary, she forced herself up and let Jordan lead her back in between the dancing bodies. She was too lost in the familiar music to see the sparkle in Jordan’s eyes. When the younger woman’s hand shyly drifted to her hip she didn’t even blink.

* * *

JJ stood on her tiptoes, searching for Emily in the crowd. They were playing one of her favourite songs, but there were too many people and it was so dark. She had no chance.

“You look like you could use some water.”

Damn. Well, here we go. JJ steeled herself with a smile and turned around.

“Will, hi.”

Lazy smile and stubble across his chin, he hadn’t changed at all. He was also wearing the same shirt she’d bought him for his birthday last year. She felt sick suddenly. Maybe this was a bad idea. Maybe hiding in Chris’s study really was the right course of action in this situation.

“You’re a hard woman to find,” he said; drawl still as strong as ever.

JJ used to joke about how she was the only one who could understand him. There was some alcohol on his breath, but who wasn’t that the case for tonight. He was probably one of the more sober people here. People had a tendency to judge Will by first impressions, but he was a good guy – which unfortunately for her, made it all the worse.

“Well it’s not like I’ve been hiding,” she laughed, taking the glass of water from him.

She was actually glad for the chance to hydrate. Penelope knew how to give them a workout alright. She sipped from the glass, also glad to have the short reprieve from talking. When she was getting close to finishing the whole thing in one go, she wracked her brain for something to say.

“What time is it?”

Will’s brow furrowed, but he rolled up the sleeve of the checkered shirt she’d bought 8 months ago, checking his watch. “11.35,” he told her.

“Oh, time really flies, huh?”

She felt so fake, but she couldn’t help it. How was she supposed to react faced with the man that she’d very seriously considered spending the rest of her life with before having a last second epiphany and breaking his heart. He hadn’t deserved it. But deep down she knew it wasn’t right. He wasn’t the one.

She looked up from her glass to see Will rubbing the back of his neck, the way he always did when he was about to say something he was nervous about. Oh god. She looked over his shoulder, searching for help from anyone.

“I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t glad to run into you.”

But his voice was becoming a ringing in her ear as she felt panic set in. Suddenly she was back in New Orleans, and he had that unmistakable smile on his face and she was surrounded by his whole family who had the same expectant look.

Expectant. Because that’s what it was, expected. Nobody had expected her leaping out of her chair and making a break for it. Nobody had expected her to break sweet Will’s heart before he was about to propose. To ruin everything that was expected. She hadn’t even told Penelope about that, she’d been too ashamed, feeling like she’d let down a whole family instead of just one man.

She thought she was about to pass out when none other that JT came to her rescue. Rock Your Body rung out over the ringing in her ears and she snapped back to herself.

“Oh I love this song!” she exclaimed, taking to the dance floor.

She didn’t hear him chuckle, “I know,” before he followed her.

* * *

Emily felt like she was flying. The bass of whatever music was currently playing had her body vibrating, and paired with the two more drinks Spencer had given her, she was definitely buzzing.

“You know what, you’re not that bad a dancer,” she was slurring her words now, Derek catching her before she lost her footing.

“Wow okay, now we definitely know you’ve had too much to drink.”

Penelope was leaning against the wall beside them, giggling into her own drink. “Now we know. Emily is an affectionate drunk!” She wiped a fake tear away from her cheek. “I couldn’t be happier.”

Emily had a dopey smile, glassy eyes falling onto Penelope. “You’re really pretty.”

“Okay, scratch that, nowI couldn’t be happier.”

Emily just descended into a stream of muffled giggles, clawing at Derek’s shirt to stay upright.

“Okay, I think it’s hydration time,” he said, straightening himself up with her.

Emily pouted.

“I’d hold that thought,” Penelope said.

Derek frowned, but a moment later Kate was flicking the lights on. Everyone screamed like a hoard of vampires. Emily herself was near hissing.

“Sorry guys but had to get your attention!”

Kate was stood in the centre of the room with Chris by her side, both holding their drinks up high.

“Countdown time!”

There was a chorus of drunken cheers. Everyone’s attention turned to the flat screen on the wall, eyes rapt on the glittering ball in Times Square as it descended.

“10, 9, 8!”

The whole room counted down as one, anticipation clinging to the air. But Emily wasn’t counting with them. The lights and the impending New Year had snapped her out of her drunken haze, and she whipped her head around the room, only one thought occupying her mind. She didn’t even hear Jordan trying to get her attention.

“7, 6, 5!”

She’d thought about her resolutions and what she wanted the next year to hold, what she wanted to surround herself with. And there was only one word at the top of that list. A name. JJ.

She wanted to completely encompass herself in everything that was JJ: the way her eyes would sparkle when something intrigued her, and the warm smile she gave people to reassure them, her full belly laugh when Penelope did something outrageous, the way she petted Sergio so gently he’d start purring in an instant, the way she made eggs, her exhale after a run. She wanted JJ this year and every year after.

“4, 3!”

With her body still buzzing and liquid courage running through her veins, she pushed past the people in front of her, eyes searching. All she could think about was the way JJ had looked at her outside the bathroom. Maybe it was the alcohol talking but she could have sworn she’d wanted to kiss her too.

“JJ?” She called out.

“2,1!”

The room erupted into applause as the ball dropped and a New Year was rung out, Auld Lang Syne starting to play. Out of the corner of her eye Emily saw her friends celebrating: Kate kissing Chris with a huge smile on her face, Matt and Kristy a similar sight beside them, and Hotch and Haley, Spencer and Tara exchanging kisses on the cheek, and Derek and Luke simultaneously leaning in to kiss Penelope on each cheek.

Emily exhaled a breath as she finally spotted long blonde hair. With the lights up she could see her so clearly, including the golden skin on her back where her glittery gold top dipped down. Golden. Everything about JJ was golden.

“JJ!” she called out with a beaming smile.

But with the lights up she saw everything clearly – including the man JJ was kissing.

#Criminal Minds #jemily #Jennifer Jareau #emily prentiss #feelings 101 #fanfiction #mine

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goneseriesanalysis · 3 years

Text

Misogyny In Gone

Spoilers for the Gone series down below - please don’t read if you haven’t read all the books

Also minor spoilers for the monster trilogy

TW: Mention of non-consensual s*xual activity

In one of my first ever posts about Gone, I mentioned that when I first read the series I found myself strangely intrigued by characters such as Caine and Drake, whilst disliking or simply being disinterested in female characters, such as Astrid or Lana. Now, in that post I chalked that up to being a result f the internalised misogyny that a lot of girls experience through the teenage years, but looking back I really don’t think I was giving younger me enough credit. I was reading plenty of other books at the time where I had absolutely no problem relating to the female characters. So that got me thinking as to why my experience was so different with Gone. I asked a question the other day about why @gone-series-orchid thought so many younger fans fixate on Drake in particular. And when I was answering the question myself, I found myself realising that it wasn’t so much a connection with that character, but more a disconnect from any female characters - the characters who I would usually relate to.

It made me realise that the issue was not with younger me, but with the writing itself. I began thinking back to various plot points, and it made me realise that women are heavily villainised throughout the series, without them being actual villains. This creates a set-up where you have numerous female character who are subtextually punished in a way that is usually associated with wrongdoers, without actually giving them the autonomy to make the decision to be bad. And so of course 11-14 year old me didn’t like them. And I instead developed an obsession with a sociopathic misogynist, which is really harmful for obvious reasons. Now, I really don’t think mg did this on purpose, but it’s there all the same and so I’m gonna talk about a few things that are irking me as I’m looking back.

Quick disclaimer that I have only re-read Gone so far so I don’t have quotes for evidence as I usually do, and I may even be misremembering some plot points. But I wanted to get my thoughts down while they are still fresh so here goes.

My first thought is that a lot of the villains we see, even the smaller ones, are male. We have Orc for a short amount of time in the first book. We have Caine, Drake and Zil. And even most of the background antagonists are male (Howard, Panda, Mallet, Hank, Turk, Lance, Bug). While you can argue that a lot of these characters are rather one-dimensional and cartoonish, they all have two things in common. Agency and autonomy. They are all able to make their own decisions (with the possible exception of Caine in Hunger). They all have their own clear and distinctive reasons for doing the things that they do and they are all relatively sane - I suppose you could argue against Drake being sane but realistically he is fully capable of making rational decisions when he needs to which would indicate that he is to at least some extent.

And this is something that any female villains just...never have?? And I literally mean all of them. I’m going to go through them one by one.

(Reminder that I’m talking about these characters specifically in their role as an antagonist - some of them do possess agency and autonomy outside of these roles but that is another topic of discussion)

So first we have Diana. Not really a villain, but certainly an antagonist in the first book. So let’s look - Agency?? No. Her role as an antagonist is dependant solely on Caine’s actions, rather than any desires of her own - even the few scenes where she manipulates Jack. She’s doing it to protect herself from Drake...another male villain. Not because of any villainous intentions that she herself has. Autonomy?? No. She is thrown around (literally) by Caine and is forced to go along with HIS schemes, despite actively voicing her unwillingness. She is even forcefully kissed by him - she has no right to self-government and no moral independence for as long as she remains an antagonist.

Lisa - If I remember correctly, Lisa is the name of the sole (I believe) female member of the human crew. So let’s get straight into it because I barely remember her. Agency?? I don’t think so. Now, I could be wrong here but I’m pretty sure we don’t even get an explanation as to WHY she joined the human crew in the first place. If that is the case then that’s a big fat nope for agency. Autonomy?? Again, not that I can remember. I believe she is mainly treated as a romantic prospect for Zil (even though I’m pretty sure he calls her ugly at some point). I don’t think we are ever introduced to her morals and beliefs in any capacity that is separate from Zil. Sorry Lisa.

Brittany - This is quite possibly the WORST example. Brittany is the girl who was killed in Hunger and then brought back as the Jekyll to Drake’s Hyde. Agency?? No. Brittany’s role as an antagonist happens only after she has become insane. She is separated completely from her original characterisation and instead becomes a puppet for the gaiaphage’s desires. Autonomy?? NO. She is literally attached to Drake, and as the series continues she becomes less and less able to govern her own body until in the monster trilogy she is introduced to us as nothing more than a face in Drake’s chest. That he treats as a pet. I mean what the f*ck. She is also completely separated from her moral compass when she turns insane, even having that and the image of her dead brother used against her. I’m actually fuming just thinking about it. Like yeah, I wonder why little 11 year old me didn’t really like the women in this series.

Nerezza - As I remember Nerezza was some form that the gaiaphage took in Lies in order to manipulate Orsay. Agency?? Somewhat. She had a clear goal that she was working towards but points get taken away because she is not a real person. Interesting how the gaiaphage used a female body instead of a male one. However, if I have misremembered and the gaiaphage was possessing an actual kid then let me take that agency point right away. (I’m pretty sure she wasn’t a real person though). Autonomy?? No. Again, she isn’t actually real. ‘She’ is the temporary human form of a glowing pile of rocks. She does not have the ability to self-govern or have any moral independence. Also minus points for the fact that she was used to take away the agency and autonomy of two other female characters through manipulation. (Orsay directly and Mary indirectly).

Penny - Penny is the moof who has the ability to make people see monsters. Agency?? Somewhat. Penny acts purely for herself when she cements Caine, an act of revenge at that. Her goals are clear and she is established as a villain in a way that is separate from the male villains (we learn that she puts bleach in her sisters cereal). However, it is stated that the reason she does not desert to Perdido Beach in Hunger and Lies is because of her crush on Caine. Ew. It is also never really addressed that she does have a reason for attacking Caine in Fear. It’s played down to her just being crazy. (Notice how Drake and Penny are very similar, but he is sadistic and she is crazy- even though she has more justification for attacking Caine than he does for attacking Diana and Astrid). Have another ew, as a treat. Autonomy?? No. I mean, she literally gets her legs broken by Caine in Lies when he drops her off of a cliff. She is unable to move and has to be bathed by Diana and Caine. I mean why did he need to be there mg. Have another ew, that’s a Hat Trick. She cannot self-govern and her moral independence is undermined by her insanity.

Gaia - Gaia is the child of Caine and Diana, who is possessed by the gaiaphage. Do I really need to continue?? Let’s do it anyway. For fun. Agency?? No. She is possessed. By a glowing pile of alien rocks. Completely wiping away any personality or beliefs she may have grown to have. Autonomy?? No. She is possessed. By a glowing pile of alien rocks. She is also killed because of this. She has no ability to self-govern and no moral independence.

Bonus round - Lana temporarily becomes an antagonist in Hunger while under the control of the gaiaphage. Agency?? No. Autonomy?? You guessed it, no. Because she is being controlled. By a glowing pile of alien rocks.

My second point is that the two main female characters experience their character growth at the hands of men. This is not unusual in media. But it’s annoying as hell. Let’s review:

Astrid – Her main role throughout the series is to be Sam’s love interest, despite her being a much more interesting and developed character. She also changes a large part of herself in order for their relationship to continue (I know that’s not why she undergoes the change, but from a storytelling perspective it needed to happen for them to remain together because of how mg wrote them) and Sam is just fine as he is, for some reason. The character development that she goes through in between Plague and Fear is not only directly linked with LP but is also, for some reason, a secret. We, as a reader, are not allowed to see it. She also experiences a lot of character growth due to her fear of Drake and what it takes for her to overcome that. Another man. Yay. I know there is a lot more nuance to it than this but you get my point.

Diana – Again, her main purpose is to be Caine’s love interest. And she is yet another victim of Drake’s sick obsession. I’m not really going to go into detail with this one because Diana’s whole character is a result of the attraction men have to her and the way that they treat her because of this. I talk more on this is my analysis of Diana is you are interested but if I go into it here then I’ll probably cry.

Some bonus characters in this category include:

Lana – Big fat glowing pile of rocks (it’s genderless, I know, but I’m counting it), Quinn, Sanjit

Penny – Caine

Taylor – Her character doesn’t really rely on a man but it does rely on other characters (and mg) treating her like a sl*t for daring to have an attraction to one

And point number three: Women having sex = bad??

Again, not uncommon in media. But boy does it get on my nerves. For some reason women having sex or exploring their sexuality in the gone series seems to immediately have negative connotations. Now, I’m not sure whether this was intentional or not, but I do know that the same subtext is not there for the male characters. I’m going to preface this by saying I’m not overly fond of any of the kids having sex. Because, you know, they’re kids, and as an 18yr old re-reading the series, it makes me pretty uncomfy. But for any 14 year old girls reading this series, the take-away is immediately that girls exploring their sexuality is bad and wrong and punishable and I hate that. Because it’s just not true. So let’s begin.

I’m going to start by talking about Taylor. Taylor doesn’t actually canonically have sex as far as I can remember, but as I mentioned before, she is treated as a sl*t pretty much from the get go. And why?? Because she is open about the fact that she finds Sam attractive. Which is NOT a bad thing. It’s good to be open about these things, as long as you aren’t making a move on anyone who is already in a relationship then there is nothing wrong with voicing an attraction. And she doesn’t make a move. He does. And when he pulls away?? She accepts it. She doesn’t shout or get upset. She accepts that he is drunk and that he didn’t mean it and she moves on, with the exception of a few jokes. And that is a good reaction to that situation. Yet she is constantly villainised both by characters in the text and subtextually and I hate it.

Penny – Again, Penny doesn’t actually have sex within the story, and I’m not going to talk about her crush on Caine because I already discussed my issue with that. But there is one bit that makes me go absolutely feral. We learn in Fear that she uses her powers to kiss Turk whilst making herself look like Diana (she also does this with Howards although it is never stated who she turns into with him), and this is not presented as an immoral thing to do?? Which it very much is. She is literally commodifying Diana’s body – without Diana’s consent, and mg didn’t think to mention that that is not an ok thing to do?? Like she is SELLING Diana’s body for I can’t even remember what. And this infuriates me so much more because of how Diana is treated for consensually having sex within the series. She can’t even escape from being sexualised when she isn’t around I just AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I’m crying now over the horrific way in which Diana is treated ugh.

Brianna – Ok so Brianna is the final one on this list who doesn’t actually have sex within the series. My issue here is how Brianna is treated for her reaction to Dekka’s confession of love. Now, as I have said I haven’t re-read Plague or Fear yet so I’m not sure if Brianna is villainised for this within the text, or if I’ve just seen some fans do it. But. She is a CHILD. She is 12. And someone she looked up to as a sister just told her that she is in love with her. Of course she is going to be confused. She isn’t homophobic – she is a literal child who probably has no real notion yet of her own sexuality. Also, she is allowed to not be attracted to someone. And she is allowed to set boundaries – that is a very healthy things to do. Most women have been in a situation where a man we have considered to be a friend has told us that he has romantic feelings towards us. We’ve all experienced that sinking feeling. This is the exact same situation. And I hate the idea of anyone reading this series to think that they have to reciprocate feelings just because someone is nice to them. Also just to be clear, this is not a criticism of Dekka. Dekka was also a child, who was dying – and she had every right to tell the person that she loved just that. My issue is with the way that I’ve seen Brianna be villainised for her reaction. I love them both and they both deserve the world.

Astrid – Ok so Astrid is the first character on this list who has sex within the series. And I really wished she hadn’t. Or rather, if it had to happen, I wish it had happened under different circumstances. Again. My ideal situation when reading a book about fifteen year olds is that none of them have sex, but that doesn’t happen with Gone so I’m going to work with what I have. A lot of tension in Sam and Astrid’s relationship comes from the fact that Astrid refuses to have sex with Sam, which is a perfectly normal and healthy boundary for a 15 year old to set. But Sam, because he is a whiny little boy with the emotional capacity of a crusty tissue is not ok with this as so seems to develop a victim complex. Now this in itself is not outside the realms of possibility, and it could have even been a good way to add some intrigue to Sam’s character – if mg had explicitly stated that Sam’s reaction was not ok. But he doesn’t. And so Astrid suddenly becomes a prude. The Ice Queen. Now Astrid’s reasoning for not wanting to have sex is because (if I remember correctly) it doesn’t tie in with her faith. She seems to associate her morality with her ‘purity’. This, again, is flawed thinking. Having sex doesn’t make you a bad person just as abstaining from sex doesn’t make you a good person. But mg doesn’t mention that this thinking is flawed, just that her not having sex with Sam is. Which only reinforces the idea that women having sex = bad, unless it is for the benefit of a man. Again, I’m not sure if this was intentional or not but it’s sooo harmful. And to make matters worse, it is only when Astrid becomes an Atheist that she finally decides to have sex. And that just makes me want to scream. Do you know what would have been a good character arc?? Astrid retaining her faith but deciding that she wants to have sex with Sam because she wants to and because she realises that having sex does not make her any less ‘pure’ – or good if you will. Do you know what also would have been a good character arc?? Astrid becoming an Atheist for reasons but still deciding to not have sex with Sam because she isn’t ready yet and having sex is not indicative of moral or religious beliefs. But it just feels like Astrid having sex was more for Sam’s benefit than hers instead.

Diana – Ok so Diana is a big one. Of course she has consensual sex on the island with Caine (even though he does threaten to have it be non-consensual which I just hate so much) and then immediately afterwards becomes pregnant with the Gone series version of the anti-Christ. So Penny literally selling Diana’s body?? Yep that’s fine. Diana choosing to have sex with a boy she ‘loves’ because she wants to?? Bad. Wrong. You must be punished. It just reinforces the narrative that women having sex is bad. Especially when there are little to no consequences for the boys involved. Again, Diana’s characterisation is reliant upon her sexualisation from male characters so it’s hard to separate her from that, but if you want a more in-depth explanation I talk about it in my Diana post.

Connie – And finally we have Connie. The mother of Sam and Caine. Now Connie isn’t exactly shown as bad for having sex – but she is the only grown woman whose sexual past is talked about within the series and she also happens to be an adulterer. Which isn’t amazing. I don’t have too much to say about Connie other than she is presented in an overtly negative light, mostly from Sam, for a situation that happened over 15 years ago. She tried her best. I don’t remember her much but I wanted to mention her because she deserves some justice. Please feel free anyone if you have more to add.

Well that concludes my thoughts on misogyny in the Gone series. I feel like I got slowly more aggressive as this went on so I apologise for that but I had a sudden epiphany and had to write all my thoughts down immediately. I still love the Gone series so much but I had honestly never thought about these things before and it’s now quarter to 5 in the am. I just want to add a quick note that this is a Gone blog but it is also a safe space for women. I love you all and please feel free to critique anything I have said or to add onto it, I would genuinely love to hear your thoughts on this. – And that goes for anyone. Thank you so much for reading :)

#the gone series

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iam93percentstardust · 4 years

Note

I'm bombarding you with those prompts, so I fully understand if you just ignore all those you don't like, lol. Would WinterIronFalcon be an OT3 you're intrested in writing? Some established WinterFalcon with Tony pining helplessly after them, not believeing he could have a chance? With a dash of angst in it? Thank you ♡

There isn’t much angst in this but there is hopeless pining so yay?

Also on ao3 here

“Share Bear, it’s not fair,” Tony whines into the phone.

“What isn’t?” his cousin asks, sounding patient but also kind of amused. He takes the phone away from his ear and squints at it. Is she making fun of him? She probably is, Sharon always makes fun of him. She’s mean like that; he’s pretty sure she gets it from Natasha.

“They’re so fucking gorgeous, I can’t stand it.”

“Oh. Them again. Seriously Tony, didn’t you used to have better taste?”

“Excuse you,” he says, offended. “My taste is perfect.”

“They think arguing is foreplay.”

“It’s bickering! And it’s cute!”

“Gross,” Sharon says cheerfully.

“God hates me,” Tony says dramatically, flinging his hand over his eyes. “That’s why he cursed me to work with two such beautiful humans who are already dating each other.”

“Tony—”

“I know Bucky stays up to date with the fandom,” he continues, going a little quieter. “He’s gotta know that tons of people ship the three of us. But he doesn’t say anything about it. Share Bear, why doesn’t he say anything?”

“Probably because for every person who ships all three of you, there’s twice as many who ship just you and him,” she admits. “I know that if someone were shipping Maria and Nat and ignoring that I even exist, I’d be pretty upset.”

“Yeah,” he says glumly.

“What’re you filming today anyway?” she asks.

“True Crime. We were supposed to be doing an episode of Supernatural at the Odinson Mystery House, you know, over in Norway where the son found out he was adopted and then got super into Norse mythology and supposedly disappeared into a rainbow?”

“Oh yeah, that guy was crazy.”

“Wasn’t,” Tony insist stubbornly. “There are three different eyewitnesses and they all saw the same thing.”

“All three eyewitnesses tested positive for meth.”

“It was trace amounts and ruled irrelevant to the case. Anyway, there’s some sort of blizzard so our flight got canceled. We figured we’d get a jump on this season’s True Crime episodes instead.”

“What are you doing this week?”

He scowls into the phone. “Fandom episode. They voted for Captain America.”

He can practically hear Sharon wince. “I’m sorry. That fucking sucks.”

“Yeah,” he agrees, not least because both of them know exactly what happened to Captain America. He was recovered from the Arctic back in the 50s and went on to live a very happy and fulfilling life with Aunt Peggy. But that’s a very closely guarded state secret; the U.S. government can’t let it get out that Steve Rogers survived nearly a decade in the ice. Technically, Tony and Sharon aren’t even supposed to know but Aunt Peggy had insisted she be allowed to tell them after she took custody of Sharon and Tony moved out of Howard’s and into her home. It’s kind of cool actually, knowing that Uncle Steve is really Captain America. He’s a pretty great guy. It just kind of sucks that he can’t tell anyone about it and now he has to do a whole episode about it when everyone knows he’s a shitty liar.

He’d talked it over with Uncle Steve and Aunt Peggy when the results of the vote had first come in. Aunt Peggy’s advice had been to act more manic than usual, throw even more outlandish theories into the mix, and really make this episode about the banter between him and Bucky. “Direct their attention away from Steve,” she’d said. “They’re already going to be looking at you. Just make sure they’re doing it for the wrong reason.”

He kind of wants to kiss Bucky. That would definitely draw attention away from the episode. But that’s not fair to either Bucky or Sam, who are very happy with their relationship and don’t need a homewrecker like Tony throwing a spanner into the mix.

“Good luck,” Sharon tells him before they hang up. “You’re gonna need it.”

“Wow, thanks,” he mutters but she’s already gone.

Marvels Unsolved was never supposed to be this popular. It started off as a novelty webseries about Tony trying to convince Bucky about the existence of the supernatural—he firmly believed that if science could turn Uncle Steve from an actual shrimp to the god of muscles, then magic had to be out there—and then they’d started talking about an unsolved crime from the early 20th century after filming an episode one day, forgetting that the camera was still rolling, and had ended up with enough footage to make a second episode about real crimes. They had stayed pretty unknown throughout that first season but then true crime podcasts had exploded in popularity and Unsolved along with them.

Now they have a fandom and merchandise and actual fanfiction written about them, which is the craziest thing. They both have several often-quoted gifs floating around the Internet and Bucky has somehow become the poster child for being unimpressed by literally everything (he actually makes some of the best faces when something genuinely scary happens but they always end up editing those parts out—he has an image to maintain after all).

They brought Sam on once they started gaining in popularity. Tony, by that point, already had a pretty well-established crush on Bucky. He’d even thought that he had a chance with his co-host, small as it may be, and at first, it hadn’t seemed like Sam was going to change anything. He and Bucky argued all the time so Tony had been absolutely stunned when he’d stumbled upon them making out like it was the end of the world.

They had just finished filming their second season. Sam had suggested going out to a local bar. He’d suggested it for all three of them but Tony had, inexplicably, felt like a third wheel all night as Sam and Bucky bickered. At one point, Sam had disappeared off to the restroom and a couple minutes later, Bucky had followed him. Tony doesn’t know how long he had sat there waiting for them but he’d eventually gone looking for them only to find Sam pressing Bucky up against a wall.

And that had been that.

Three years later, Sam and Bucky are still going strong, Tony is as smitten with Sam as he is with Bucky despite knowing how hopeless both crushes are, and the fandom seems convinced to either write Sam out of Tony and Bucky’s relationship or write Tony into Sam and Bucky’s. He wishes they would stop. He stays pretty up to date with the fandom as well and they have all these meta posts about the way Bucky looks at him or something. It just keeps giving him hope but, well, it’s been three years. If Bucky wanted him, or if Sam did for that matter, they would have done something long ago.

“Hey, you doing okay?” Sam asks him as they’re setting up.

“Sure, why wouldn’t I be?” He avoids meeting Sam’s eyes, focusing instead on adding creamer to the coffee. Marvels had presented them with these mugs last year to congratulate them on four years of Unsolved. They’ve got their most iconic quotes printed on them, Bucky’s with “Obviously I killed JFK” and Tony’s with “I’m the dramatic bitch your mom warned you about.” Sam has one too with his one and only line in the entire show printed on it (“Why did I agree to work with you?”) but since he’s always behind the camera, he doesn’t have to use the same mug for each episode.

“You just seem a little off.” The worst part is that Sam genuinely looks concerned. If they didn’t care about him, he thinks his crush might be easier to manage but they do because they’re just nice guys like that. “I know you weren’t too thrilled when we announced this week’s case.”

“Howard worked with him, practically hero-worshipped the damn guy. Of course, I’m not excited.”

Sam winces. They know all about Tony’s shitty relationship with Howard after his dad called Marvels furious that his son was hosting a webseries instead of coming home to grovel at his feet and take over the business. The whole team had been brought in to listen as Fury tried to placate him. By the end, Bucky had been furious on Tony’s behalf and Sam had berated Fury for twenty minutes for making Tony listen to the vitriol his dad had spewed. It had cemented his crush on Sam, then just a passing fancy, into something real and permanent.

“Seriously, Sam, I’m fine. Might be a little off today but I would have said if I didn’t think I could do it.”

Sam doesn’t look convinced but he agrees anyway. Tony sits down next to Bucky and passes him his mug. Bucky shoots him a grin and murmurs, “Thanks, doll.”

Tony doesn’t blush but that’s only because he has five years of practice. Out of the corner of his eye, he spots Sam counting them down and he turns to face the camera, settling his hands in front of him.

“This week on Marvels Unsolved True Crime and in celebration of our 100th episode,” he begins, “we asked you what you’d like us to investigate and you came back—”

“—overwhelmingly,” Bucky interjects.

“Many, many times,” Tony agrees, “with a topic near and dear to my own heart: Captain America.”

“That’s right,” Bucky says, sounding surprised though Bucky had been the first to point out that maybe they shouldn’t do this episode because of Tony’s connections to Project Rebirth. “Your dad helped turn Steve Rogers into Captain America, didn’t he?”

“And he never let me forget it!” Tony says cheerfully.

“One hundred episodes,” Bucky says slowly, enunciating each word. “Can you believe that, doll?”

Sometimes, he wonders why the fans ship them when Sam is right there. Other times, Bucky says things like this and he understands completely.

“Not even a little bit, Bucky Babe.” Okay, so maybe he doesn’t help.

“One hundred. The big one zero zero.”

“We tried to do something extra special and get Sam in front of the camera for you guys—”

“—so you could see what a hunk he is—”

“—but Sam said that he didn’t trust anyone else to film us properly—”

“—which makes sense because Tony? If you put him in the wrong light, he’s practically a gremlin—”

“Hey!”

“I’m just telling the facts.”

“Well, the facts are wrong.”

“They’re facts, sweet thing, they can’t be wrong.”

“Can too. Anyway, since Sam refuses to join us—”

“—and that just breaks my heart because Sam, he’s one of my favorite guys, you know?”

Tony pauses. It’s not like Bucky to say anything nice about Sam. Usually, it’s all good-natured insults and bickering. He must really be fed up with the Starkbucks shippers to say something like this when they’re still this early in the show.

“Only one of?” he asks curiously.

Bucky shoots him one of those filthy grins that their audience loves so much. “Well, it’s hard not to include you on that list,” he drawls.

He’s not going to blush.

He’s not going to—

Damn it.

Whatever. It’s no big deal, that’s what editing is for. So what if Sam has never edited out one of Tony’s blushes yet? Maybe Tony will get lucky and he will this time.

“You know, I was actually named for Captain America’s sidekick?” Bucky asks, getting them back on track.

“Wow, that is deeply unfortunate,” Tony deadpans.

“Yeah, Dad’s a fanboy. His whole troop was pinned down and rescued by the two of them. He tells the story all the time—kind of like your dad.”

“Except my dad goes straight past into fanboy and directly into obsession territory.”

“…Fair enough.”

“Really? That’s all you’re going to say?”

Bucky shrugs and takes a sip out of his mug. “I’ve been inside your house. I’ve seen the Steve Rogers shrine. I’m not going to argue with you.”

Tony thinks about that for a moment. “It is kind of a shrine, isn’t it? Anyway, we’ve got some great stuff for you today. We’re going to crack open this cold case, show you some never-before-seen footage courtesy of my mom sneaking my dad’s old war tapes out of the mansion, and then we’ll talk a little bit about the theories out there.”

“How many of them are going to be ridiculously outlandish and physically impossible?”

Tony glares at him. “None of them. I have never once presented a ridiculously outlandish and physically impossible theory.”

“Right because alien abduction is a valid—”

“Aliens are real!”

“You said that crabs might have eaten Amelia Earheart!” Bucky shouts over him.

“It’s a valid theory!”

“I take it back, you’re not one of my favorite people anymore.”

“That really hurts me, deep inside,” Tony says sarcastically, trying to cover up that maybe that does send a small pang shooting through his chest. He likes the thought of being one of Bucky’s favorite people. He doesn’t want to lose that.

“How deep?” Bucky asks and winks.

“Very deep. Way, way deep down. Practically in my—”

Bucky’s eyes widen and he nearly chokes on his coffee. “Okay, that’s enough of that. Let’s get into the facts.”

“Hey, that’s my line!”

“With a missing plane and pilot and so much redaction in the files, we’re lucky to even have a name, let’s get into the theories.”

“Actually, wait, before we do that,” Bucky says, “I want to ask if you’ve ever noticed that your voice changes when you’re doing the voiceovers.”

“Wait, what?” Tony asks. He glances at him, to one of the cameras, then back to Bucky. “What do you mean?”

“You know, it gets all deeper like you’re trying to voice movie trailers or something.”

“No it doesn’t.”

“Sure it does.”

Tony shakes his head. “There’s no way.”

They both turn toward Sam, who thinks about it and then makes a ‘sort of’ motion with his hand.

“Told you!” Bucky says triumphantly.

“You’re such a child,” Tony sneers.

“Yeah, that’s why you like working with me so much.”

Behind the camera, Sam silently snickers and Tony glares at him before telling the camera, “If you’re watching, let us know in the comments. Is my apparent movie trailer voice okay or does it need to go like Bucky clearly thinks?”

Bucky goes paler. “Hey, wait, I didn’t say it had to go.”

“It was implied when you brought it up,” he argues.

“No!” Bucky insists. “I was just wondering if it was on purpose.”

They both turn toward Sam, who thinks about it and then makes a ‘sort of’ motion with his hand.

“Aha!” Tony says triumphantly.

“Traitor,” Bucky mutters into his coffee.

Sam signs, “I’ll make it up to you when we get home tonight.”

“And that was more than I ever wanted to learn about Sam and Bucky’s love life,” Tony lies through his teeth. “Let’s get into the theories. I only have two for you today, one of which I think Bucky will particularly like.”

“Oh no.”

“Our first theory is that Steve Rogers died in a plane crash on December 16, 1944. Winter months in the Arctic are known to be particularly stormy. There would have been low visibility due to the high latitude and time of year and with the waters and surrounding land being well below freezing, it’s possible that, even if Captain Rogers survived the impact, he would have frozen to death in the stormy seas.”

Bucky thinks about it for a second. “Yeah, that seems plausible.”

“In addition, Howard Stark, a known Captain America aficionado and the father of Marvels Unsolved’s best host—”

“You lie like a rug!” Bucky howls.

Tony snickers and then when Sam signs, “He’s really not,” bursts out into full-out laughter.

Once he’s recovered, he continues, “Howard Stark has spent the first fifty years after the crash of the Valkyrie and the last twenty funding searches in the Arctic in the hopes of recovering Captain Rogers’ body. He has found no evidence that Captain Rogers survived the crash although he did find part of the remains of the Valkyrie and has since stated that, ‘No human could have survived that crash.’”

The expeditions are a scam and have been since Howard first found the Valkyrie crash site and Uncle Steve along with it. He hadn’t been planning on continuing the expeditions—too costly, as he claims—but when Aunt Peggy had told him that Uncle Steve’s survival had to remain a secret, he’d kept them up for pretense’s sake.

Bucky is saying something about how it sucks that the first superhero is gone and when he finishes, Tony grins and says, “Then you’ll like our second theory.”

“Somehow, every time you say that, I end up completely hating it. Wonder why that is.”

“Our second theory is that Steve Rogers survived the crash and is still alive but cryogenically frozen in the ice. There—”

“Bullshit!”

Tony starts laughing but he tries to continue on over Bucky shouting that it’s complete nonsense. It’s hard and he knows that Sam will probably have to do some editing and maybe make Tony do some voiceover work in order to make the theory audible but he thinks he manages to do a pretty good job.

Bucky is pouting by the end of it, arms crossed over his chest. “What fucking bullshit,” he mutters.

“The supersoldier serum—” Tony starts to point out.

“Isn’t a miracle drug.”

“That’s exactly what it is.”

“No, it just made him big and strong. It doesn’t just magically keep people alive when they should have died.”

And then they’re off into familiar territory, arguing about the merits of either theory. Tony’s actually feeling pretty good about himself, convinced that he’s doing a decent job of steering the conversation away of anything classified, right up until Bucky says, about halfway through the episode, “I’m surprised at you, Tony.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Surprised?”

“Usually, you have some absolutely batshit, off-the-walls crazy theory but these have actually been pretty normal for you.” He pauses and then adds for effect, “And you’re usually much better at your research than this.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh come on, even I know that there’s one more theory.”

He starts tapping at his chest nervously, almost wishing that he had a pair of sunglasses. Aunt Peggy always said that his lies are in his eyes, that they’re too expressive to hide the truth. When he was living with Howard, in the spotlight, he always had a pair of sunglasses to hide his eyes but he hasn’t wanted to use those since he moved out. He wishes he had them now.

“And what’s that?” he asks, feigning a casualness he doesn’t feel.

“That Steve Rogers lived and came out of the ice at some point and has been living out his life in anonymity.”

He barks out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t mention it because even I know that that theory is completely impossible.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” Sam nods agreeably. Bucky nods back at him and adds, “Even Sam agrees with me.”

“He’s your boyfriend, he’s practically required to.”

Both Sam and Bucky laugh at that one and yeah, okay, it was a pretty ridiculous statement. Anyone who knows them knows that being boyfriends is less likely to make them agree with each other.

“Look, Steve Rogers didn’t come out of the ice alive. Howard would have known for one thing and if you think, he could keep something like that quiet, then you don’t know him very well.”

“Maybe the government insisted it be a secret,” Bucky suggests, shrugging. “There have been plenty of people who have claimed over the last couple decades to be Captain America.”

Tony scoffs. “Oh come on, by that logic, anyone could be Captain America.”

“Maybe they could be.”

“No,” Tony says flatly. “It’s like that crazy conspiracy theory guy over on Reddit who’s convinced that Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

“Maybe Bruce Wayne is Batman.”

“Ooh do the butts match?” Tony says mockingly. “I mean, really, Bucky Babe, if we’re going off of lookalikes, then my fucking Uncle Steve is secretly really Steve Rogers, which is ridiculous because the guy’s like practically ancient and faints at the sight of blood in PG-13 movies.”

That sets off another round of arguing that lasts the rest of the episode until finally Tony wraps it up with, “Whether Steve Rogers died in 1944 or is still alive today is a mystery that will remain unsolved.”

They both pause for a moment to provide time for Sam to edit in the theme music and closing title. Usually, there would be some lighthearted bantering afterwards, maybe a joke about something they said earlier in the show. This time though, Bucky says thoughtfully, “The thing is, though, I’ve met your Uncle Steve—”

Tony goes cold.

“—and he really does kind of look like—”

Tony panics. That’s the only explanation that he has for declaring, “I’m done waiting,” reaching across the tables and grabbing hold of Bucky’s shirt, and yanking him forward to kiss him.

For a moment, Bucky is too startled to do anything but then he melts into Tony, mouth opening under his, tongue pushing forward to meet his. Bucky’s arms come around him, pulling him up and out of his chair and settling him into his lap. Tony makes a small greedy sound, swallowed by Bucky’s kiss, and then they’re both pulling away. Bucky’s lips are very red; Tony can’t stop staring at them even as he’s filled with dismay.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Why not?” Bucky demands.

“You—Sam—” He glances toward the camera but Sam isn’t standing there anymore. His heart drops into his stomach—has he just ruined Bucky and Sam’s relationship? But then he hears someone drop to their knees behind him and when he turns slightly, Sam’s fingers are on his chin, gently turning his head.

“How long?” Sam asks.

“How long what?”

“How long have we been wasting our time when we could have been kissing you instead?”

Three years, two months, and fifteen days. “Too long.”

Sam kisses him then, mouth gentler than Bucky’s but no less consuming. Bucky is a hard, hot line against his front; Sam is warm against his back and Tony? Tony loses himself in the storm that is the two of them, sparks shooting through him as Bucky’s hands find their way to his hips, as Sam’s tongue slips into his mouth, as Bucky whispers into his ear, “We’re not wasting any more time.”

Marvels Unsolved’s 100th episode shoots to their most watched, most liked video in less than a day and when asked, maybe the smallest handful of viewers could have said what it was about.

The day after it posts, only a week after it was filmed, Tony’s phone rings.

“Kill it with fire,” Sam says sleepily.

Tony, however, recognizes Aunt Peggy’s ringtone and he rolls over to grab it before Bucky can throw it at the wall. “Hello?” he asks groggily.

“Congratulations on not blowing Steve’s cover,” she says.

“Oh yeah,” Tony mutters. “Can I go back to bed now?”

“One more thing, duck.”

“What’s that?”

“Congratulations on the new boyfriends.”

#winterironfalcon #alle writes #alle answers #ooh boy this got long #if you like please consider reblogging #justsomeoneunordinary

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floating-in-the-blue · 3 years

Note

Yeo! I can now send you asks because, for reasons I don't understand, sending asks now comes from my dashboard instead of someone's blog. To celebrate, here's some numbers from the list of questions you reblogged this morning: 6, 11, 14, 22, 25 :)

Jenny!! And here I thought it might have something to do with me finally changing my blog’s theme XD But whatever did the trick: YAY and double yay for you not giving up on asking me stuff!! *HUGS* Thank you so much, darling! <3

6. What character do you have the most fun writing?

I usually write characters that are a bit anxious and not too confident and yeah, we’re not gonna analyse that but there’s something about writing characters who aren’t like that, who exist with swagger and without apologies that is definitely fun. Whether they be assholes (Ocelot, Eli) or carefree, fun-loving angels (Willie, Flynn). And I ought to try to write more of them.

11. What do you envy in other writers?

The ability to plot and the ability to do research. I’m hopeless with both due to lack of concentration, laziness, and apparently a lack of criminal energy. The only reason In Your Starlight has managed to get so long is because the plot is entirely internal, i.e. prompted by the character’s feelings and reactions within a restricted environment. I would love to be able to write sprawling stories with lots of enriching details and thrilling plots but ... definitely not my forté!

14. At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Usually very late in the process, sometimes only in the moment of being confronted with the title box when posting a new work to AO3. I hate having to find titles most of the time (like any other writer I know)!

I think Nature 2.0 was one of the few stories where the title appeared pretty early but then that’s the story that would have needed plotting and research so I unfortunately never finished it ...

22. Do you reread your old works? How do you feel about them?

Yeah. I do. A lot, tbh even though that’s not the popular answer to that, I guess. There are a couple that I skip on the rereads, sure. Those I was never much attached to even while I was writing them and which definitely aren’t among my best. But the rest ... they’re comfort food in a way. I still care about the characters and the stories and knowing exactly how they go, and knowing there’s no pressure of commenting at the end of them (which is a homemade problem, for sure), and greeting some well-loved phrases ... yeah, that’s comforting to me. I’m proud of (most of) my works and worked hard on them and polished them into the best version I could make them and even though I sometimes still spot stuff I would change now, there really isn’t that much of that.

I always hated this trend of ‘rolling over and showing your belly’ that a lot of fanfic authors, especially back in ff.de/ff.net days, did. To preemptively call their own work shit or something so people would be kind to them.

Publishing fanfic on the Internet is a difficult thing, because it requires finding that balance between ‘if you don’t like your work, why should others’ and confidence on the one hand but also a hearty resistance to other people not caring about your work or ignoring it on the other hand. It’s a tricky thing and I definitely struggle with it. But I’ve found it very helpful to become confident of my own work regardless of how others see it. Do I think I’m the best writer ever? Definitely not. But I know I can still be proud of my own work and derive joy from reading it. And I’m glad for the things I’ve put out there.

(sorry, this turned into a bit of an essay ... I just have a lot of feelings about this topic)

25. What part of writing is the most fun?

Definitely when you have a flow and the dialogues just pour out of your characters or your descriptions turn into a bit of poetry and the words feel just right and you remember that writing actually can be fun!

But I also find it extremely satisfying when I’m editing a scene that isn’t really flowing and tweaking a word here, adding a gesture there, maybe adding a few lines of dialogue to get better transitions and then it just works! And there weren’t even that many changes necessary.

Fun Meta Asks for Writers

#yeo writes #yeoyou #writingfloat

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blackjewles · 3 years

Text

Two Nights Under the Stars//Pt.1

This is a short drabble that contains: brotp Kaminari and Kirishima, and shipped Kaminari and Shinsou. The first night is Kaminari coming out as bisexual to Kirishima, and the second night is months later when Kaminari confesses to Shinsou that he likes him. Sfw, no content warnings apply.

This post is about night 1, where Kaminari comes out while stargazing with Kirishima.

Night 1:

(past tense)

Kaminari had taken a lot of time to figure himself out.

It had all started one day in class. It was as usual, Kaminari sat staring around the room, admiring the girls in his class. It was a typical teenage boy thing to do. However, he then realized, he liked looking at the boys too.

This sudden realization had hit Kaminari at the velocity of a train. For days after, he tried to suppress it, however, the thought kept coming back.

“There’s a lot of cute boys, too...”

It would be an understatement to say the next month was hard. It was confusing, he felt as if he was wandering in his own mind, a sudden stranger to his own attraction.

It took him a month, but after researching and listening to other peoples stories online, Kaminari finally came to a conclusion.

He was bisexual. He liked boys and girls.

He found it nice to have a label, it felt good to have it figured out. However, he would have to tell his friends sooner or later. And that terrified him.

It was not that he didn’t trust them, in fact, he knew they’d be supportive. But nethertheless, whenever he thought of coming out, his heart began to race and his face would get unreasonably hot.

But after having known for two months, Kaminari wanted to tell someone. And that first person would be Kirishima.

Kirishima seemed like a very trustworthy person to Kaminari, he was always offering a hand and support. So that’s how he came to conclusion. He’d come out to Kirishima first. Then slowly he’d come out to his other friends, and maybe one day, his family.

And he knew exactly how to do it.

Kaminari had a habit of staying up late, way up into the night. With that, he’d get bored extremely easily. He couldn’t be loud, and all he would have was himself.

With this boredom, he’d eventually started wandering outside. There, he would watch the stars. He learnt constellation names and it seemed that every night, more and more appeared. It was his sanctuary that cured his boredom. Eventually, he would take others to star gaze with him. They would talk about nothing and everything. The world, deep fears, biggest dreams, darkest secrets, and their hope for a new day.

So tonight he would take Kirishima, and there, he’d tell him.

(present tense)

Kaminari is sat on his bed, phone in hand. He’s about to text Kirishima to ask if he’s awake. However, he can’t stop the shaking in his hands.

He grumbles, and tries to hold his hand still for a second. But alas, it doesn’t prevail.

With shaky fingers, he types

—

To: Kirishima 🥊🥊

“hey, are u up?? wanna go look at the stars with me? :D”

—

He watches the screen, soon, he sees Kirishima typing. He can’t help but feel his heart speed up. Is he really ready to do this? What if Kirishima isn’t as supportive as he seems? What if—

—

From: Kirishima 🥊🥊

“Sure man! I was bored anyways, I can’t seem to get any work done tonight ahaha, meet you outside??”

—

Kaminari isn’t sure if he feels relieved or the opposite, but none the less, he types.

—

To: Kirishima 🥊🥊

“okay 👍 meet me at the back of the building”

—

Kaminari inhales deeply and prepares himself. He feels unruly nervous, but he still gets up and grabs a blanket to lay on. Soon, his feet carry him out the back door, and there sits Kirishima in the grass, who greats him with a smile.

“Hey!” Kaminari says, but it doesn’t quite come out right. He’s still nervous. He clears his throat and tries again.

“Sorry. Hey!” That’s better.

Kaminari lays out the blanket for them, and they both lay out on it. Kirishimas hair is down right now, it lays sprawled out under his head.

And then, they talk for hours. They start with the weather, then go to constellations, then go to the meaning behind them, then to history, then to many, many other topics their words carry them too. They paint pictures with their words and creates story’s for the sky. Until finally, they lay silently.

It’s been two hours since they first came out here. The only sounds are the world around them and their breathing. Kirishima stares at the sky contently, he knows they don’t have to talk. Kaminari is sitting up, staring at the sky aswell. The difference is, he think that now is the time to talk.

He opens and closes his mouth, goes to speak, but stops again. He purses his lips in a line, and takes in a deep breath.

It’s almost like the words get caught in his throat, but miraculously, he makes a sound.

“Hey Kirishima... Can I tell you something?” He says, not breaking eye contact with the stars.

Kirishima tilts his head back at him, Kaminari doesn’t look down.

“Sure! Anything.” Kirishima replies.

Kaminari swallows, it almost feels like his heart starts pounding a little harder.

“Uh, well, i’m not really sure where to start.” Kaminari says nervously.

“That’s okay, take your time! I am here to listen.” Kirishima replies, nodding as he speaks.

Kaminari nods, and he looks down. Kirishima stares up at the sky still. Kaminari knows he wants to tell him, but it seems to be getting harder to speak. He grabs a fistful of the blanket underneath him and looks back away. He bits his inner cheek quickly then finally, he starts to speak.

“A few months ago, I was in class and, well, I was staring at the girls in class.” He begins, Kirishima giggles, and mutters under his breath. Something along the lines of “classic” Kaminari laughs lightly.

“But, that day was a little different.” Kirishima hums an affirmation for him to continue.

“That day I... Well, I kind of realized that I didn’t only like girls.” Kaminari says, now picking at the blanket underneath him. Kirishimas eyebrows raise with interest, and he sits up, now looking at Kaminari directly.

“What do you mean?” He asks. Kaminari still plucks at loose threads.

“I mean I realized that I...” Kaminari trails off, not knowing if he has the courage to continue.

Kirishima places a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey man, you can tell me anything.” He assures. Kaminari looks at him in the eyes now.

He’s going to tell him. Right now.

“I realized I liked looking at the boys too. So I started thinking about it more and I figured it out a couple months ago. I’m bisexual. I like...both” Kaminari mutters.

“Woah.” Is all Kirishima mumbles after.

It’s silent for a second. And Kaminaris beginning to wonder if he made a mistake, if he should apologize and go back inside, he can feel his own heart beating out of his chest. Kirishima blinks a few times.

Then, he gives Kaminari a huge smile.

“That’s awesome man! Thank you for telling me. You know, I was a bit scared you where gonna say you didn’t want to be a hero anymore!” Kirishima remarks. Kaminari giggles a little.

“I... Was scared to tell you.” He says, sighing with relief.

Kirishima continues, his voice softer this time.

“You know man, you didn’t have to be scared. I’ll support you no matter what you’re one of my best friends! No matter who you love, nothing can change that.” Kirishima squeezes Kaminaris shoulder as he speaks. Kaminaris eyes go wider, he bites his inner cheek again, and he suddenly realizes can’t suppress the rising bubble in his throat and the tears beginning to cloud his eyes.

“Love isn’t something we can control. And if you like boys too, that doesn’t change a thing” Kirishima finishes. Kaminari drops his head, and the tears start to fall.

“Woah. Man, you good?” Kirishima asks worriedly, placing his other hand on Kaminaris other shoulder.

Kaminari pulls his hand to his face and covers his mouth, he raises his tear ridden eyes and nods.

“Yeah. Yes. Thank you. It means a lot to hear you say that.” Kaminari says through small sobs. He doesn’t know why he’s crying, but he knows it’s not out of sadness.

“Like I said, man i’ll love you no matter what!” Kirishima replies.

“I... Don’t know why i’m crying. I just...” Kaminari trails off, and suddenly, he’s pulled into a hug.

It feels good. No, not good, amazing. Those words felt better than any other anonymous forum he posted on. He can’t help but cry out of happiness.

They stay like that for a while, until Kaminari finally unteses and the tears stop. Then, they’re just hugging.

“Thank you.” Kaminari mutters again into Kirishimas neck.

“No, thank you for telling me.” Kirishima says back, not an ounce of untruthfulness in his words.

Kaminari had done it. And it felt better than anything else he’d told someone under the stars before.

YAY that’s it! Hopefully part two will be up tomorrow! i hope you enjoyed reading as much as i enjoyed writing. also, did i cry while writing this..... yes..... a little... LMAO. good day!

#bnha #mha #denki kaminari #kirishima ejirou #kirikami brotp #coming out #bisexual kaminari

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taetaespeaches · 3 years

Text

From the creators of “Lydia found out she can upload pictures and gifs into your ask box” here comes “Lydia found out she can submit text and stop spamming you with so many asks”.

Because, my love, get ready, this is really something. And I’m sending it today because I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, I’ll work half day and then I’ll go get new glasses because your girl is going blind and annoyed.

Please just answer this whenever you want, no pressure, this is.. a lot. I’m sorry in advance.

First of all, my data finished because of tete’s vlive, I didn’t noticed they were on instead of my wifi, I felt so stupid lol, but girl DID YOU SEE, is it me or does he looks more mature and holy shit so sexy ?????? what the fuck Taehyung, I’m actually asking, what the fuck? I want to know what is up with the fuck.

In other news, Jin and poopsie are moving in together. I’m in love and I’m totally Peaches chasing down that cup to put it in the trash. I do that, does Peaches also slow down when a pigeon is walking in front of her? bc I do that, they just don’t care and I’m like ok fine pigeon go ahead, they’re funny lol- but that was just lovely, I can’t stop thinking about how GOOD tae looks, although I laughed bc if there’s something my mom hates is when anyone makes noises while eating and Tae is the master of it. I kid you not, my mom wants to slap me and gets SO angry when I do it (I do it just to mess with her lol) but yeah, I’ve shown her videos of tae eating like that and she’s like NO, GOD NO! it’s so funny! because she loves him and doesn’t want to see him doing that, I think he looks adorable and maybe I would slap him too but hey, he enjoys food. He a baby. Must protect.

And in other/other news, you killed me with hobi/petal because I started writing this right before you post that and now I’m just adding it in here: you killed me because, I was just starting to go about those pandemic and awful year topic, I was reading it in the bathroom and I almost cry, my precious babies!! T_T and OH! how much I want to go for a walk! I need it, yesterday I walked a little, but didn’t enjoy it, we were just getting lost looking for the pizza place.

But srsly, walking is so good ??, months ago I could feel my anxiety burning my soul, it was awful and one morning on my way to work we always saw people exercising and stuff and I realized all I wanted to do was RUN. so we started going for walks in the afternoon after I got off work (we stopped for a while bc A LOT OF SHIT HAPPENED) but that first day I walked like no one else lol, I could feel my thighs crying but hell I wasn’t stopping, and I just felt so so so so much better! it was amazing.

Well, there ya go, a health tip: go for walks, if you have a dog I think it’s better, I saw so many dogs I was thriving lol. Now my knees are killing me because they do nothing but sit all day.

But yeah, as I was saying: Liv, I’ve missed you, and I would love to say that it was because I’ve been busy or doing something fruitful BUT NO, I’ve been like a zombie these past 2 weeks because I’ve slept till late some nights and everything’s weird, christmas was fun but also weird, my cousin couldn’t be home bc covid and it’s just weird, then I couldn’t see my bf till yesterday bc he was sick (not covid), and I don’t know, it’s like everything is fine but it still feels weird, you know? Petal says this shitty year is coming to an end but damn if I enjoyed the fact that I found Bts, I don’t remember what it was like before and I don’t care.

I’m so grateful, I was a big one direction fan, but I can’t compare, you know? I was younger, I was in school, I was a different person. And now, I’m still young *cough*, but I’m not in school, I have a job and I’m different, and in a lot of moments when I need it, BTS say “hey, love yourself!” every chance they get! and even if there are a lot more moments when I think “I can’t, nope, not now” I probably don’t love myself like I should, but I can say that I WANT TO, and I never make new year’s resolutions, I don’t want it to be a “I’ll do it next year” thing, but maybe I’ll take that will and aspire for something. This year Covid was the least of my problems, family, friendships and relationships have been fucking HARD and I am freaking scared, not gonna lie, there are a lot of things I have to think about, to decide and act on. But I’m also grateful I have other friendships that I got to renew and helped me keep going. So so grateful.

And I’m so grateful for you, I’m happy I found you because believe me when I say you helped a lot too. Just the thought that I can come here and express whatever thing, whatever novel I write for you: from how sexy I think Hobi is - to also have the trust and talk about anything else, even when we don’t really know each other, I don’t expect to get anything back from you but I get so much and it’s refreshing so THANK YOU for that.

I got a little cheesy, I want to cry. But I mean it. I appreciate the hell out of you and your existence. This is me, I can start by saying Hey Tae’s so sexy and finish with I love you, Liv. I wish you forever happiness.

Happy new year, queen!! 🍾

Here’s a picture of my Christmas tree last night with it’s new lights because the ones I bought last year failed on me and I was so angry I went to amazon and bought these for 25 dlls! - And a picture of my cat (her name is Spinelli) from last christmas, because well… I thought the world should see her, she cute.

(I promise I won’t do this often, I’ll send normal asks. I just thought it would be easier lol)

Stay safe ♥

Hello my lovely Lydia!! I’m cackling about what you said about Tae because those are my constant thoughts lmao. Like how in the fuck is this man so sexy??? And he has that intensity about him just my fucking god Kim Taehyung. The man you are today, sir. I am quite literally in love with him. Also I’m giggling at your mom’s reaction to how he eats- I can definitely see how it would annoy some people haha. I adore the way he eats, the pout :(( he looks so pure when he’s eating I just wanna kiss his cheeks lol.

Yay for Jin and Poopsie!!! And honestly, Peaches is so relatable for the quirky little things she does and how embarrassed she gets for doing them lol. She probably would stop for pigeons- also that’s adorable, you’re cute.

I’m glad you discovered that walking makes you feel good and healthy!! It definitely does, I need to start working out more in general. I used to be really consistent but ugh this pandemic has killed all motivation for fitness haha.

I’ve missed you too!! I definitely understand the zombie-like state, with the end of the year along with a pandemic and then just regular day to day life, it’s a miracle any of us are functioning these days. And exactly, even though it was a shitty year, I hope there’s something we can all be thankful for or look back at as a positive. Find those dang silver linings!! Mine would be that I got more in touch with myself again. I think I’m finally on track for being enough for myself and being my own source of strength and happiness and that was my goal for this year. So even though this year fucked us all up quite a bit, at least I have that. And of course, always thankful to bts lol. I can’t believe I’ve been a fan for three years now, how fucking crazy is that?!

I’m sorry this year was tough on you beyond COVID, I’m wishing for better times for you in the new year. You absolutely deserve to love yourself and I hope you get to the point where that can be true. But honestly, wanting to do so is fucking fabulous. Keep going, Lyd!

Lastly!! I’m so so so grateful that you found my blog and actually sent me asks, like oh my god I love seeing you pop up in my notifications and inbox. It makes me so happy. You’re an amazing person, my love, and I’m very thankful to know you. Thank you for not only supporting my work but for being an absolute gem to talk to!! I adore you <3 thank you for your friendship, even if just on this silly app. I hope you’re happy this year and beyond!

p.s. your tree is so pretty and YOUR CAT IS THE CUTEST LITTLE FLUFF BALL I LOVE HER!!! Give sweet lil Spinelli a cuddle for me <3

#stainofpaint #i love writing novels to each other and just making everyone scroll past a fuck ton of text hahahaha #it's our thing xo #submission

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ahkaraii · 4 years

Text

Belatedly answered ask responses

Thank you for anyone who has sent me stuff!! I LOVE reading them and I’m so sorry I’m awful at replying, but know that I love each and every one. Here’s my attempt to answer a whole lot :D

@doki-dream Thank you so much for enjoying my DBZ comics!! DBZ was my earliest “fandom”, as it were, from over twenty years ago, and it was so, so special to me as a wee child. I think it’s obvious how heavily I project onto Gohan, haha! But now that I’m an adult, it’s really fun to weave in all these ideas I had as a kiddo into a more seamless interpretation that works with the existing canon. I hope you continue to enjoy my interpretations <3

@half-devil-in-red-leather Thank you so much for sticking around with me for so long!! :D :D DMC still has a very dear place in my heart, and always will. As for Trunks and Gohan -- they were my favourite characters, too!! Gohan moreso than Trunks in my case, but I’m awfully fond of all iterations of my purple-haired boy, and someday I’ll get around to drawing all of my Mirai!Trunks headcanons :) Trunks and Goten are fascinating to me as well, because they’re a Unit, yanno? In canon they were rarely seen without the other, and so their development as people is undoubtedly tied together, too. The differences between Mirai!Trunks and main-timeline!Trunks is FASCINATING, and speaks a lot to what are “core” characteristics of Trunks and what are things he’s adapted from his close peers over the years. Anyway, I love Trunks and Goten and Gotenks and rest assured I’ll be posting a lot more about them in the future.

@vejigante Unfortunately I still haven’t watched Dragon Ball Super beyond the two movies (Battle of Gods and Broly) so I’m preeetty much out of the loop as to who these guys are. Maybe someday :0

@katerchip :D :D :D =happy=

@yusuke96universe I don’t exactly take suggestions, mostly because I kinda draw whatever I feel like in any given moment, and drawing something based on someone else’s idea or suggestion is almost always stressful (”what if they don’t like my take” “what if I drew something they find gross” “what if what if what if” etc), but I can safely say I, uhhh, actually don’t know much about Tien??? I’ve skim read the original Dragon Ball manga, but I never watched the original Dragon Ball anime, so Tien is one of those side characters I don’t have a very good grasp on, or, frankly, much interest in. Maybe someday!

@shika-boom Fugaku and Shikaku were not friends, per say, but they were always peripherally aware of each other. They’re both clan heirs, for one, so you gotta know who’s who. Shikaku has always been a nosy nin who collects secrets, while Fugaku’s shameful secrets have always been painfully on display, so it’s not like they didn’t butt heads now and again growing up. I talk a little more about the topic here (x).

@darkblades75 Thank you!! You can read the manga online here (x).

@hydrabellwolf Raditz is an interesting character I’m still getting a handle of, in my own interpretation, but I think he essentially has little to no attachment to his birth family and as a kid he probably thought Goku was pampered trash because Gine kept his pod at home. I don’t think Raditz ever made the connection that Gine sent Goku out to save him from the massacre, so I don’t think Raditz realized Gine “spared” Goku and didn’t think about him (Raditz).

Afterward, he only ever remembers Goku might still exist when he realizes he needs someone he can ally with against Nappa and Vegeta (after establishing he’s Alpha Dog, hence him stealing Gohan and talk-posturing at Goku instead of properly fighting from the start), so it’s not so much familial piety as it is convenience because he’s outnumbered and outgunned and outbullied by the only couple other Saiyan survivors.

@wardstoneus That’s a story for another day, and details I probably won’t get super into because I’ve learned my lesson about delving into unnecessarily dark themes in an ambiguously exploitative way. But, yeah, I have lots of Thoughts about Raditz’s distinctive hairline and how that looks more like Vegeta than it does Bardock, and how exactly that could’ve gone about.

It was not a consensual thing :/ Gine had a rough life, and not just because she was weak and also not very Saiyan like. Bardock married her to protect her after she was pregnant, and he got demoted to low class because of it. (That’s how I explain to myself how Bardock was apparently super fucking strong and yet inexplicably deemed low class).

@loyaltykask Tbh the only other Sakumo ship I find mildly interesting is Sakumo/Tsunade (you can kinda tell why I drew them together in the Five comic in the first place xDD), but, naturally, my take on Sakumo and the Sakumo that gets shipped with Orochimaru in fandom are very different characters with very different pasts that made them that way :’D So if I separate my take and just take fanon Sakumo as it is, there’s lots of interesting fics with him and Orochimaru and such. I don’t tend to read them though, because Orochomaru is never in character (as I interpret him, anyway), and that can be tiring XD

@pretty-rage-machine Thank you!!! I’m sorry (not sorry) that I jump around fandoms so much, my creative brain is stupid and it latches onto new things every 2-6 months without control and I’ve learned to just go with the flow, it allows me to create faster and better works if I let myself explore whatever topic has captured my interest at any given moment instead of forcing it to stick to one thing. Luckily, I am not a professional artist; if you are, don’t do this xDDD Maintaining discipline and motivation beyond personal whim is important in any job!!

That being said, yay!! I’m glad you like my stuff regardless of how much knowledge you have of the canon I’m messing with. Hearing my characterizations are grounded and relatable makes me happy <3<3

@poly-hebdo Thank you!!! :D :D Once again, I apologize for jumping fandoms like the attention deficit fella I am, but I’m glad you’re still digging my works regardless of the fandom!

@jkl-fff Ahh thank you, friend!! (Side note reply: I watched DBZ:A yeeears ago, and I have to rewatch it again STAT because I actually have gotten mentioned by MasakoX (voice of gohan and goku in DBZA) a couple of times now, once in one of his videos and twice on his twitter feed, so I’m like HOLY SHIIIIT!!!! because that’s some Senpai-Noticed-Me shit and eeeeeeek).

It may be obvious by now but I HEAVILY project onto Gohan, he was basically my mental self-insert as a wee lad, so my characterization of him is heavily tinged by that selfish nostalgia; part of the reason I’ve been drawing these comics is to seamlessly integrate that mental image of Gohan I have living in my brain to the actual existing canon, to make him a plausible version of Gohan that can exist between the pages. From that, a fascinating little narrative has been born and I’ve been having fun detailing out the characters that exist around the Gohan I’ve created :D Thank you for enjoying my hot take on it!!

And YES LAWD I am all for bisexual Gohan, he and Dende were totally a cute first romance thing as teenagers, though naturally it had to come to an end as they moved on with their lives -- Dende to proper ascetic Godhood, and Gohan to a more normal human highschool life. Maybe someday I’ll get into the nuanced complexities of that, though I probably won’t post it to twitter, where the audience there seems to crave more canon straight stuff than any wistful doomed gay sideplots (that seems more a Tumblr thing). Ahhhh so many ideas, so little time XDD

#ask responses

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cesabutterflywrites · 4 years

Text

Meet Me at Stenvold’s

Word Count: 2020

Warnings: (Deceit’s name in this is Derrin), trouble breathing, feelings of anxiety, ask me if I missed anything

I was walking down a cobblestone street at night. It was raining, but I couldn’t feel the wetness on my skin. I felt the cold, though. I felt the shivering as I stumbled towards the small building ahead of me labeled as an Inn. I willed my knees to keep going forward. My feet felt as if they had been walking for miles. For all I knew, maybe they had.

I made my way into the Inn, with various smells filling my nose. Cooking meat, beer, sweat, hay, and other mixtures of delicious and deplorable. It wasn’t too crowded, thank heavens, so I went to sit at one of the tables in the corner by the fireplace. I took my gloves off to hold my hands closer to the orange flames. It was as if the warmth was spreading up my bones. I sighed in relief, glancing behind me to take in my surroundings.

I didn’t get very far in my observation before one of the staff came up to greet me. He was a tall, lanky lad with a tan so deep I may have believed he was from one of the southern countries, like Spain or Portugal. He had eyes so dark they resembled pieces of charcoal in the dim lighting of the room, pairing excellently with the warmth of the fire. He had pink lips that gave a different meaning to the word ‘soft’. His hair was unruly, naturally a result of handling the many duties of an Innkeeper. He was wearing a simple outfit, brown shirt with a buckle and black pants. However he made a simple lower class outfit seem like something the King would wear. I felt an unfamiliar feeling well up in my chest. I heard what could only be the tantalizing whispers of Aphrodite plaguing my thoughts.

I took my hands from the fire to turn and face him better. He held a pad of paper in his hands with a pencil. “Welcome to the Stenvold Inn, sir. We have a few rooms available to rent, and fresh meals for purchase. Would you like to order anything?”

My mouth went dry with words. I opened my mouth to reply, “Yes, I would like-”

Roman awoke with a start to his alarm, nearly falling out of bed as he rolled over. His heart was pounding, his mouth was dry, and he reeked of the sweat drenching his skin. He took a moment to steady himself and his breathing. He realized that his dream was more than a dream, it was a memory of a past he had been searching for clues in.

He felt the details slipping away, so he reached for his memory journal on his nightstand to scribble down messy notes in his uncoordinated, messy scrawl. Something was better than nothing when trying to remember a past life. He wrote what little he recalled until his fingers hurt and his memory dried up. He stared at the page, wondering why it was so blurry until he picked his glasses up from his nightstand. They did not make the writing any clearer.

He sighed, hoping that maybe later he could decipher the memory. Definitely at least after having some morning tea. He willed himself to leave his warm bed to get ready for the day. He looked into his closet, humming as he tried to decide what to wear. He couldn’t explain it, but he felt that today was important. It was like the air around him was thick with anticipation. Could his dreamt memory be a sign?

He shook his head to rid himself of that train of thought as he grabbed a red shirt and dressed hurriedly. He was losing time and he wanted to savor his morning tea.

He entered the kitchen to see his roommate frying up some eggs on the stove.

“Good morning, roomie. Sleep well?” Patton asked.

Roman let out a yawn and stretched. .”Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

“Ooo, what does that mean?” Patton looked over his shoulder toward his friend with a curiously raised eyebrow.

Roman shrugged as he opened the cupboard to reach for a packet of his Green Tea with Lemon blend. He wasn’t very open about his memories of past lives. He felt it was a private part of his soul-one of the few secrets he could keep between him and whoever his soulmate was.

“Nothing, Pat, just still a bit groggy,” he told the man handing him a plate of fried eggs on toast.

Patton nodded, understanding. He didn’t push the subject, instead choosing to change topics, “Logan wants to check out the new bookstore over by the campus. Wanna join us?”

Roman thought about what he wanted to answer with as he chewed his food. “I have three classes today, and midterms are a few weeks away. Plus the CAP Club meeting was pushed to Thursday, and I want to finish my project before everyone else.”

“Come on, Roman, you haven’t been out with us in forever,” Patton dragged out the final syllable in a whine. “It’ll be fun to have a change of pace, you know? Plus I miss hanging out with you outside the house.”

Roman leaned his head back and let out a dramatic sigh. “Well I guess I have to give in to the pressure.”

“Yay!” Patton cheered as Roman finished up his breakfast.

“Thanks for the meal, Padre, but I gotta go. See you after classes.”

“Bye, Roman! See you later,” Patton waved goodbye.

---

Roman felt himself being more antsy as he went through the day. He felt like he couldn’t stop vibrating as he met up with Logan and Patton outside their usual coffeeshop. They walked down the block and it took everything he had not to start skipping. He ignored Patton’s puns and Logan’s rambling. He felt a jolt of deja vu as they came up to the sign outside the shop.

Stenvold’s Books

Roman remembered a portion of his journal entry, and he swore he heard the ***‘Welcome to Stenvold Inn’ ***ringing through his ears. He rushed ahead of his friends and paused to look around the store from the entrance. He started to remember old feelings. Warmth, wet skin despite the dry room, curiosity. He ignored Patton’s calls as he roamed up and down the aisles looking for…

Who was he looking for?

He paused, letting Patton catch up with Logan close behind, somewhat out of breath. Patton placed a hand on his shoulder and asked, “Hey, Roman, whatcha roamin’ around for?”

“Now doesn’t seem to be the time for puns, Patton,” Logan gasped out. Patton abandoned Roman to reach in his bag for Logan’s inhaler.

Roman looked back at his friends, concern was decorating his face for Logan’s well being. “I’m sorry, Logan, are you okay?”

Logan held up a finger as he took in a puff of his ProAir. Roman nodded and watched the adoration on Patton’s face. Patton and Logan had such a great bond. They had met just a year before. Roman remembered Patton dragging the nerd into their living room one day shouting from the top of his lungs “I FOUND MY SOULMATE AND HE’S CUTE!”

As Logan’s lungs cleared, Roman felt his fill. His chest felt like an elephant was sitting on top of him. He grabbed at his heart, he looked at his friends in alarm, “I’m drowning,” he choked out.

“In what, your ego?” Logan asked sarcastically. Patton slapped his arm softly in admonishment before coming up to Roman.

“You feel like you gotta move?” Roman just nodded. “You feel like if you don’t stop moving you’re going to drown?”

Roman kept gasping as he nodded more enthusiastically, begging for Patton to get to the point. Patton squealed then hugged him before pulling back and screaming, “Go find them, Roman!”

Roman tilted his head in confusion before Logan had a smile form on his usually stoic face. Understanding built its way in his mind. He turned from the two soulmates who found each other and went on a search for his own.

He searched through the shelves. Looking for a face to recognize. How would he know? As he combed the aisles more there was a face forming. A voice entering his ears he had never heard in this life. His heart beat in time to the pop song on the speakers in the shop as he continued his search. He felt only half present; split between the past and present.

Fear found its home in his eyes as he got to the front of the store. Patton and Logan looked at him with worry. Where were they? Where was his soulmate?

He let Patton hug him as he cried. The face he was looking for was so clear in his mind. The charcoal eyes. The soft pink lips. The way his face half glowed in the firelight of the inn. The Stenvold Inn. He was-He was a worker there. He had come up for Roman’s order in their previous life. Maybe that was the sign. Roman pulled away from his friend to go to the checkout counter.

“Welcome to Stenvold’s Books, find everything okay?” the employee asked with a bored tone. He was sitting on a stool behind the counter, reading a book. He was reading Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. His brunette hair was combed aside, covering one of his eyes. He didn’t seem to be in as much distress as Roman.

Roman hesitated, but he took the chance anyway. “This may seem to be a random question-” the other man stood up, tossing his book aside.

Roman smiled in disbelief. Perhaps he was in more distress than he seemed on the outside.

“You?!” they both cried at once.

Roman stood in place until his soulmate came up to him from his post. They stared in disbelief. Multiple lifetimes of love stood sturdy in between them yet they still remained strangers. Roman heard Patton sniffling behind him, and it was enough to remember how to speak.

“I’m Roman this time,” he whispered. He was looking down into the abyss of the dark eyes. Six lifetimes and he still swooned. How could he have forgotten those eyes?

“I’m Derrin,” that hypnotic voice. Smooth as the finest scotch. Everything about the small man in front of him screamed sweet smoke. Roman recalled tasting dark chocolate, travelling deserts, huddling while travelling through the rain, and so many more memories.

Roman’s tears betrayed him by falling down his face. “How could I have forgotten who we were before?”

Derrin laughed. So familiar and comforting while also being tantalizing and new. It was bright. Roman started crying in relief. He was finally able to breathe.

“So are we still doing the whole, ‘get to know each other’ thing again or are you going to stop crying and kiss me, darling?” Derrin asked, mischief in his eyes.

Roman held no hesitance as he scooped the small man up and kissed the soft pink lips of his dreams. The body in his arms felt like coming home to a familiar teddy bear. It felt like exploring a new section of a jungle. It felt like sitting down at the dinner table to your favorite meal. It felt like seeing fireworks for the first time.

They broke apart at Logan’s snide remark of, “They have to be able to breathe at some point.”

Roman sighed dramatically, “Excuse me for being so rude, these are my friends. Well, one is a friend and the other is just a stray he found on the street who also happens to be his soulmate.”

Logan rolled his eyes, knowing Roman’s remarks weren’t in malice.

Derrin still had some hours left on his shift, so they promised to meet at the coffee shop down the street. Roman was about to walk away when the shorter man pulled him in by his collar for another kiss. “Don’t disappear on me for too long, darling. I don’t want to wait a whole other lifetime for you.”

Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist for any ship!

#roceit #roman sanders #deceit sanders #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfic #roceit fanfic #romantic roceit #ask to tag #Mama Cesa writes

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tarlosprompts · 4 years

Text

such a lonely heart

Prompt: “But, I have been very unhappy since you left. I just want to know what I can do to bring you home.”TK to Carlos

claimed by vic.

I’m sorry I didn’t answer to your ask nonnie, but, tumblr isn’t letting me. I really wish I did justice to your prompt! I hope you guys enjoy is as much as I enjoyed writting it!

(Inspired by this post)

read on ao3

TK and Carlos had an… interesting relationship, to say so. If anyone asked them about the other, they could answer that it was the best two years of their lives, with a nostalgic smile forming on their face.

They had the kind of relationship anyone wanted.

They cared for each other. Everytime one of them wanted to speak about something that was eating them alive, was trapping them inside their minds, the other could listen without second thoughts, whatever their day had turned into. They could guide and advice them if they wanted to, or they could just be there holding them (the physical touch was way important than actual words), reassuring them they would support them until the end of the line. If one of them was injured by the job, after being anxious all day until they see with their own eyes that their loved one was indeed okay, the other could take care of them, 'heal their wounds', treat them like their life was depending on it. Because, according to them, that is love.

They needed each other. Every time they could work on the same call, they could steal a small kiss or a quick hug from one another. After a lond day at work, the other could wait for them with open arms, a warm and intimately atmosphere surrounding the house. They had a home to come back to, a specific person to come back to. Because, according to them, that is love.

It was those moments. The small kisses they were stealing, the little hugs they were sharing. TK putting his forehead on top of Carlos' shoulder every time they interacted. Carlos putting a hand on top of TK's waste, holding him steady. The way their feet tangled once they went to bed. The "behind the back" hugs, touching their forehead on the others back, that made each other's heart run miles of marathons. Touching their foreheads when the other cried, either due to a hard day they had at work, or because they just needed to cry their heart out. Brushing their lips together, smiling teasingly before the actual kiss.

Saying the first 'I love you's' did take them a lot time. TK was scared of loosing him after he came across his own feelings, Carlos was afraid he might was pushing to far. So, they maybe hadn't said the words with ease, they were showing it with every move and touch they shared together.

However, according to most people, all good things must come to an end.

"I don't think I can do this anymore Carlos."

"What are you talking about?"

"It's just, our lack of work, the way I always have to worry if you'll ever come back, you worrying about me if I ever come back… it's too much for me right now!"

Carlos' gaze was blank and TK cursed the time and place Carlos had learned to hold back his face and body expressions because he really needed to know what the other man was thinking, "So what are you suggesting?"

"I think we should call it quits."

And then, just like that, TK was out of Carlos' life and Carlos was out of his.

The first two months had not been easy. TK was feeling many emotions at the same time, overwhelmed, but, he knew he could move on from this. He did in once the past, he could do it again. Although, Carlos was not Alex. Carlos was a unique kind of person. He was under TK's skin, a part from his heart, his own soul, was, and always will be with him. TK knew, he understood, that, which made the whole 'getting over Carlos' operation much more harder than he wanted to. Sometimes he even wondered why he ended thing, other times he caught himself ready to either text the man back or even call him, just to make sure if he was okay. He still cared about him, still kept wondering if Carlos had made it hope safely. I he was okay after a difficult call. Because that is love, and he knew it.

Months passed by, it became easier and easier for TK. He even went on calls without anxiety eating him alive, praying to whoever was listening to, not land on Carlos while he was there. Now the two men we very profesional with each other everytime they met, not letting a single feeling get in their way of doing their job right. That, for TK, was a big win.

TK knew what he was doing. He knew how to lock his feelings away, how to look away, where to yell, scream, punch. He was used to it, by now. He knew how to control or where to direct his emotions. However, what he heard next, still, caught him on guard.

"I though you and Carlos had broken up?!"

"He have, Mateo.", his tone was steady. He did not want to show his confusion on why did probie brought up one of the few things that used to make him still want to wake up to see the light of the sun the next morning, or how hard his heart was pounding now. He and Mateo were tasked to go and grab some supplies from the store that Paul needed to finish tonight's dinner. "Why are you asking?"

"Oh, nothing serious, I just happen to meet Carlos the other day and he was wearing on of our old AFD hoodies. You know, the black one with the hood? The first one we got when we were first recruited by your dad."

And that's when TK lost it, nearly dropping the things he was currently holding inside his hands.

"Hey, you okay?"

"Yes Mateo everything's fine. Let's pay end get out of here."

The ride back to the station was quiet. TK kept his gaze on the road, not flinching once, while Mateo kept glaring at him occasionally. TK knew Mateo wanted to ask, he wanted to know, but, TK was beyond glad he did not bring the topic back into the light because, at this moment, he did not know how he would've react in the mention of Carlos. Even thinking his name gave him the chills.

000

It was past midnight. TK's mind was running marathons. He could not sleep. All he could think about was the conversation he had earlier with Mateo. All old feelings coming back with such a rush. As if they never left. Correction, they actually never left.

He was now sitting on his bed, his legs crossed, staring at his phone for the past fifteen minutes, debating if he should or should not. "fuck it", with a small sign he pressed Carlos' name and waited for the other man to pick up. The second he was about to give up-

"Hello?"

TK kept staring blankly sometimes at the wall across him sometimes at his own phone. He had not heard his voice, talking like this, without any trace of professionalism, for so long. He missed it.

"TK?"

TK cleaned his throat before speaking, "oh yeah, Carlos, hi. I'm sorry for calling you this late!", his voice yay more pitched and high than he wanted it to be, "it's late, again I'm sorry, I'll just hang up-"

"It's alright, I was not sleeping anyways."

Silence.

"TK? Are you still there?"

"Oh, yeah, yes! I know it might sound odd but, can we meet at the park in a bit?" he sounded so pathetic he wanted to punch himself in the face.

"Um, yeah sure?! See you in a bit."

After hanging up, TK let a sigh, feeling like the biggest weight had left his own body. Before he got up and started putting clothes on him, he stayed a few seconds laying on his bed, watching his dark sealing like a piece of art, his breathing steady.

000

When he asked Carlos to meet him in the park, he did not know the reason why. He did not believe the man could agree meeting him in the middle of the night, after being apart from each other, this long. He just wanted to see him. He just missed him.

"So…", Carlos was now staring at him. The two men were sitting on a wooden bench, silently watching the black sky, that was somethings changing colours due to the small light the stars were giving. It was a peaceful night. Not many cars where on the road. A small lamp was shining, making the darkness look a little less scary. Just a little. The world was sleeping and yet, TK was there, in the middle of the night, right next to the love of his life. If he could still call him that.

"I think it's time for me to go-"

"I miss you Carlos", he could not hold it back now, "I miss you so damn much. I thought by pushing you away, I could protect you from being hurt if anything happened to me. I though that if I pushed you away, I could protect myself from hurting. I thought I could move forward but, I have been very unhappy since you left. I just want to know what I can do to bring you back home. I need you Carlos! I've been dealing with all these emotions, trying desperately to hold them back, to avoid them. You mean so much to me Carlos. You're under my skin, the fuck can I do?"

Both men were crying. Carlos kept watching him, not saying a word, just, being silent. TK could not deal with it, "talk to me, please! Say something, yell at me!"

“We can’t keep doing this. It’s one way or the other. I love you to damn much but, if we’re going to do this thing, if we're going to try this again, it’s either all in or all out. I’m not going to just keep dangling for you.”

“It’s not that easy, I know...I love you too, and I want to be together. I want you more than anyone I’ve ever been with before.”. Not waiting for an answer and, without hesitation TK grabbed Carlos, bringing him for a watery kiss, not wanting to waste any more time. Carlos places his hands on his waste, bringing him close, deepening the kiss. Both tried to be as close as possible, tried to make up the time that was already missed.

"Just so you know, I know you've been wearing my AFD hoodie the months we were together." TK attempt to light things a little did not went the way he though, but, he was not complaining.

"In my defence, it was the only thing I had left from you. I did not know that to expect. It was my shield of armor. As you said, you're under my skin man, the fuck can I do?"

#prompt fill #by vic #tarlos prompts #tarlos relationship #tarlos #tk strand x carlos reyes #tk x carlos

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justahockeylover · 5 years

Text

all my friends - j.hughes

author’s note // yay!! my first imagine, and many more yet to come! I honestly hope y’all enjoy this one, it’s loosely based off of this song. also, big thanks to @annalahey, for proofreading this part along with part of the second one! she was truly a blessing in this process, and I can’t thank her enough :)

word count: 1,631

All my friends are falling in love

All my friends are locking it up

But I can't seem to settle down

'Cause I'm waiting on you to come around

While all my friends are falling in love

You don’t know when it started, but you had started to feel like a part of you was missing. Maybe it was because your best friend, who you were so hopelessly in love with, was miles away from you in New Jersey. How he hasn’t realized it yet, you don’t know, but you also don’t mind. You’d rather die than tell him how you felt.

Hey just got done with training for today, wyd?

A smile appeared on your face as you read Jack’s message and typed a quick reply.

Not much, thinking about going skating later.

It’s true, you were thinking about going later, but with who? All of your friends have boyfriends, and they would gladly have a girls’ night with you, but you don’t want to feel like a burden.

Oh yeah? Without me?

You laughed, thinking about how his face his eyebrows are probably raised, his mouth upturned in a smirk.

Yeah, with my new best friend.

Catching your drift, he decided to play along.

You replaced me already? I’ve only been gone for a few weeks.

You let out a big sigh, debating on whether to send your next text or not.

Yeah, well, it’s a few weeks too long for my taste.

Deciding to send it, you leave your phone on your bed and get up to change your clothes. I mean, you were going ice skating after all. You heard your phone buzz a couple of times, but you waited until you were dressed to check them. Jack can wait a few seconds.

Same here, I miss you too. Wanna facetime?

You replied with a quick yes, and within seconds he was calling you. Answering it, you saw his smiling face appear on your screen.

“Hey rowdy, how’s Jersey been treating you?”

He laughs, rolling his eyes, ”Good, Y/N/N, I just miss everyone. I know I shouldn’t complain though. I mean, I just signed a contract to play in the NHL.”

You looked at him with sad eyes, and thought about how to respond.

“Jack, you might’ve just signed with the Devs, but that doesn’t mean you’re not human. And it sure as hell doesn’t mean you can’t complain, you still have a lot of time left in your career, and Jersey is just the starting point of it all. Sure you went first overall, but that doesn’t make you any less deserving of emotions,” You smiled at him through your screen, wishing you could give him a hug.

“I know, you’re the best at these talks, I wish you were here with me.”

Your heart swells at his words, it always does when he says something like that.

“I wish I was there with you too, and I’m sure Chelsea does as well. The rest of your support team wants to be right by your side through this,” you send him a tight-lipped smile.

He raises an eyebrow at this, and you hear another voice over the phone, easily recognizing it as his mom, who was close enough to you that she was practically your mom as well.

“Jack, is that Y/N? Let me say hi!”

Jack mouths a ‘sorry’ before handing the phone over to his mom, who smiles upon seeing you.

“Hey sweetie! How are you?”

“I’m good Ellen, just working on getting my summer readings done and whatnot. Just getting ready for school to start in August you know,” you replied with a tight smile, a sign that you were stressed. Knowing Ellen, she can easily tell when you were overworking yourself.

“I know what that’s like, hun. But I also know that you deserve to take breaks every once in a while. Please tell me you’ve eaten today.”

She looks at you with the regular mom glare and, even though she’s nowhere near you, you feel the effects of it anyway.

“Well, I kinda ate breakfast this morning,” You wearily smiled at her, ready for her to yell at you.

“Y/N Y/L/N! You need to eat so you don’t pass out!”

She was clearly worried, and you could hear Jack in the background, sounding just as (if not more) concerned.

“I know, but I just haven’t been getting out of the house much lately. With you guys being in Jersey, Quinn training for the upcoming season, and all of my friends hanging out with their boyfriends, I haven’t really had a reason to leave.”

It was true, you really hadn’t left the house much this summer. All of your friends were doing stuff with their boyfriends, you didn’t really have many people to hang out with. And while you would hang out with the other boys’ girlfriends, some weren’t the most fond of you.

“Darling, you need to eat. If I hear from Jack you’re still not eating in a couple of days, I will definitely be going to your mom,” She gave you a smile before saying goodbye and handing the phone back to Jack.

You both stared at each other for a few seconds, not really knowing what to say.

“Y/N, you need to eat. I’m going to text Quinn to tell him to bring you something.”

And before you could argue, he was already texting his brother, who then texted you asking what you want. You replied that anything was fine, as long as it wasn’t anything fried, since you felt like that was all you were living on for the past few weeks since your parents were visiting some extended family.

“So, did you ever figure out who you’re going to go skating with? Quinn would probably be down to go with you,” he tilted his head, looking like a puppy, while giving you the chance to take cutest picture ever.

“Y/N did you just take a picture of me?”

You started laughing, which gave away your ploy to stay silent.

“Yes, maybe,” he glared at you, “you just looked so cute! And I’m not passing up the opportunity of another picture to post for your next birthday.”

Jack blushed and let out a frustrated groan as you looked towards your front door, hearing a knock.

“Come in!”

Quinn walked in, with two Panera Bread bags in his hand. You walked towards him, taking the bags and setting them on the counter, giving him a hug.

“I’m on facetime with Jack, if you want to say hi,” you hand him your phone while you take both of your food onto your counter, taking a seat at a barstool, and patting the one next to you so Quinn would sit down. He sat next to you, propping you phone up against something so you both could talk to Jack.

“How’s Jersey been, Jack?”

You and Quinn both began eating, letting Jack do all the talking for a second.

“I don’t know, Q. I was talking to Y/N earlier and I just miss you guys. And I’m getting so much attention on social media right now that it’s kind of overwhelming. I wish you or Y/N could be here with me right now to help. I have mom and dad here, and they’re trying their hardest to understand, but I wish I had you guys by my side”

He let out a big sigh, shoulders slumped, and you could just see how tired he was. You decided to steer away from the topic, knowing you would definitely be talking about it with him later.

“So, have you gotten the chance to talk to Chelsea while you’ve been there?”

You were genuinely curious, seeing as you and her don’t talk very often if it’s not about Jack.

“Um, not too much. I think we’ve both been so busy that whenever I can talk she can’t.”

“Aw, love, I’m sorry. I know that she misses you just as much as you do her. This is just a small obstacle in your relationship, I promise.”

You always called him love, and you have for years. It was just a cute pet name, and you called a lot of people ‘love’ or ‘babe’ out of habit. Which is why Jack should be used to it by now, but you swear you saw a little bit of a blush form on his cheeks.

“But what if I don’t really miss her?”

You and Quinn stopped right where you were, surprised. He almost spat out his drink, quickly stopping himself from getting water everywhere. Jack had seemed to really like Chelsea, and while you weren’t too fond of her, it seemed like their relationship was going pretty well.

“Jack, what do you mean? You and Chelsea have been together for a while, I thought you would want her right by your side,” you raised an eyebrow, watching out of your peripheral as Quinn excused himself to go to the bathroom.

Your best friend put his head in his hands, sighing again, “I know, and I should, but the only girl I want right next to me is you.”

“Jack, I-”

You didn’t know what to say. God, you had been in love with him for so long, and he’s just telling you this now? Guys really know when to choose their moments, huh?

“You don’t have to say anything if you don’t feel the same way. I know that it’s pretty out of the blue, but whenever I try to think about Chelsea, all I end up thinking about is you.”

You looked at him, shocked.

“Hey, I have to go. Me and a couple of the guys are going out for dinner tonight. Think about it, okay? I’ll call you later, to see how skating goes.”

You could barely get a word out before he hung up, leaving you with your own thoughts.

and there it is! I hope you liked it, I have a second part coming out sometime soon, it’s already at 500 words, so it should be up by tomorrow! at least, I hope. ahhh, I’m so excited to be writing again, who should be next? :)

#j.hughes #nhl imagine #new jersey devils #jack hughes imagine #jack hughes

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yaboylevi · 5 years

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Hello there! I couldn't help but notice that salty anon asking about your stance on Levi so I'll ask again because it sure sounds interesting! Do you mind telling us how you feel about him?

Okay, so the original question from a dumb hater was how I could even support a romantic ship between Eren and Levi if I am not a Levi fan*.

*If a ”Levi fan”, like that idiotic anon meant, is someone who excuses all of Levi’s bad behaviors, then no, I am not a fan.

Premise no.1: I’ve loved Levi for so many years, he’s been part of my twitter handle in the past, is in my Tumblr url, icons on various social media, I have a lot of merchandise and not only for “the sake of the ship”. I genuinely used to love him to the point that he was my favorite character alongside Eren, I couldn’t pick one. So I guess I am a bit of a fan, after all.

Premise no.2: I am a gigantic bag of salt about this topic so tread carefully if you’re easily offended. I won’t sugarcoat my VERY BIASED opinions, and if you strongly disagree, that’s perfectly fine. I won’t change my opinion with the information we currently have, because this isn’t a gut reaction I spent two seconds on, I actually soul searched (lol) for the reasons as to why I felt so negatively about Levi. He was my fave, and I felt deeply hurt and confused and frustrated, so I thought long and hard about it. I am open to change my mind if anything else comes out of him in the future.

Also, I have already spent a lot of words on how I feel about Levi’s character as of late, here, here, and here, here, here and here for example, also here and here (I haven’t exactly been silent about it lol) but let me reiterate it into one incomplete post. It’s really freaking long, and a wall of text at it. I don’t expect people to put up with this messy rant, but suit yourself if you want to.

@ the people who sent these new questions almost a month ago, I’m sorry this isn’t the reply you hoped for. If you guys want a more positive take on this, just look through my ereri meta tag.

Levi as a character can be simplified in 3 points, in my opinion: 1) the deep, caring feelings he has for his comrades and as such the responsibility he feels for them and their deaths; 2) his violent side and how he resorts to violence to solve situations. These 2 merge together into 3) what used to be his main goal, free humanity. He lent his strength (that at times he uses for violence/to get his way) to the cause: helping in freeing humanity inside the walls because the sense of freedom is worth everything.

So, harsh opinion: I believe he has lost sight of his goal – as Isayama has stated in the past even though I didn’t wanna believe it because it made zero sense and cheapened everything I loved about Levi – and he has fallen back into his worst behaviors. Add to that a lack of active presence and engagement in the actual story, and you get this predictable, background character that I can’t for the life of me enjoy currently. Because apparently, he forgot how to live on his own without Erwin’s guidance (and here I’d have another bag of salt to pour but this would get too long, and I don’t have the patience to word it in a way that wouldn’t bring me the ire of his fans).

I don’t know if Levi is really supposed to be seen this way, but at least to me, the focus has been mostly on this: his anger/violence/flaws, and his lack of involvement.

I never liked the way he resorted to violence to “resolve” not life-or-death situations or simply to vent his frustrations, in the first place. It’s something Eren had to let go of, he was rewarded when he used his wits, abandoning pure rage for the sake of revenge, and it’s always been Isayama’s intention, imo, to show as much with the story in general and with Levi as well, as Levi has never been rewarded for it either.

So, witnessing his character revert AGAIN to kicks and straight-up sadism, as a fan, has been a big disappointment. Then, the shift of his goal because “saving humanity” wasn’t Erwin’s goal, after all, has been another point of disappointment – but this happened way before the current arc. His obsession with “making the dead soldiers’ sacrifices worth it” can be commendable, but the way he’s going about it is totally blind and dictated by anger and loss of hope, in a way, so I don’t see it as something positive either. He lacks vision, he lacks a voice in the things that are happening around him as if he doesn’t care whatever happens to all of them, as long as he can make Zeke suffer and kill him. I know it’s not totally the case, because we have seen (and I want to believe) that he still cares about his comrades who are still alive, as seen during the battle in Liberio and his reticence at following direct orders to kill Eren, but at the same time, the obsession with “repaying the lives of the dead” is making him being absolutely heartless for the sake of his “hope” (like, I’m paraphrasing here but he literally went “let’s go to war again and let Historia become a shifter if she so wants to, who cares, more deaths, yay”), though he himself doesn’t seem to care about hope and freedom and all this stuff that much anymore, or he would’ve spoken up about the mess Paradis and Hange were throwing themselves into, like Eren did.

Another point of dissatisfaction is that it seemed to me like he was forming stronger bonds with the 104th and he was becoming better at voicing his opinions without becoming violent, but I guess he either regressed, or I always read him wrong. His violence in 114 was downright revolting to me, I felt nauseous and, in a way, I’m glad he got k.o’ed. It put a stop to his metaphorical downfall, at least — I see post-timeskip Levi as a cheapened, worsened, “hyperfocused-on-just-one-side-of-him” version of the Levi I used to love in earlier arcs and he was only getting worse, imo.

And, as a special mention re: his violence and his relationship with Eren… It was interesting to observe how he slowly changed in regards to Eren, learning how to lift him up and get the best out of and for him, caring about and paying attention to Eren’s emotional state when no one could or would. It was also very interesting how he opened up to Eren just because he wanted to help him, always, from the beginning. THAT’S what really made me fall for the ship and for Levi.

Also, he thought that violence wasn’t the answer with Eren, and I guess I can excuse him for his behavior in Shiganshina because it was a charged challenge of sort for every character. But he really did think that nobody could make Eren submit with violence, yet he’s the one who tried to do exactly that as soon as they met again in ch.105. I was so disappointed that their relationship seemed to have regressed so much, I kept being hopeful only because of his face/words after the kick: he felt betrayed and saddened by Eren, so it meant he still cared deeply about him. And yeah, he does, but the reasons are also partially…bad.

Don’t get me wrong, I believe he cares about Eren as a person, the boy he met and decided to protect all those years ago, but now saving Eren has become deeply intertwined with saving his last remaining goal: making it up to the dead soldiers (and I’ve already explained why I think it’s not a “positive” goal). And it’s unfair and a skewed view, imo, because Eren really didn’t have much to do with every single death. But I think it’s Levi being desperate about it all, he clings to it or he’d lose it if he had to, um, reconsider his current mindset. He’s like…grasping at straws, I feel. Like he was doing with Erwin when Erwin revealed his true colors. Levi ended up reconsidering his own ideals and goals, back then, but in a bad way (he had no goals of his own, he just blindly followed Erwin, who cares about humanity, right? Even though he seemed to care oh so much before).

I guess it’s the downfall of the “Hero”. @/Isayama, was this necessary? Is this entertaining? I am personally not a fan of this, there were so many ways to challenge Levi’s belief & trust in Eren, and to still have Levi be an active player. This just feels like a cheap way to get him out of the picture and turn him into a really secondary character. He doesn’t feel like a main player in this arc.

So long story short, I’m very disappointed in his development. I was willing to go along with it in the hopes that it would be leading us to something very interesting and it seemed it could go into a good direction as I stated here. But when he seemed to be confirmed basically dead (literally, or anyway when it comes to his importance in current events), I’ve kind of lost all hope in regards to his character, and I felt so done about it. He is either gonna stay this way, or there’s gonna be some small, cheap, background-ish closure (though atm I fail to see how, seeing as the story is about to end) and if that’s the case, I fail to comprehend the purpose of his arc, then. I don’t think his is an unreasonable development, I just fail to see how the direction Isayama has decided to “develop” him in has any relevance to the story and its themes, as he used to be a major player with some good-ass, relevant presence in the story. As I said in some posts I linked above, Isayama may have lost motivation to develop Levi any further and dropped it from the “main players” roaster, probably when he decided to change Levi’s motivations halfway through the story (because yes, the problems I have with Levi started towards the end of Uprising).

I used to be a great Levi fan, if my username and icon are anything to go by, and I still like him when I reread some parts as I stated elsewhere, because I really, really love when he interacts with the 104th or like, with his subordinates or even Hange. It’s fun to watch and even cute, when he’s not being a violent arsehole. So it’s really a shame that it’s come to this.

And yeah, I’m sure some people may have noticed already, but the ereri content on my blog has become quite scarce, S3 and the shitfest that went down there in regards to Eren&Levi parts also dampened my hype for the ship, my dissatisfaction with Levi’s character and the way his interactions (or lack thereof) with Eren went recently just pissed me off. But I loved this ship for like 5 years, I’m attached to it, and I am capable of separating the good parts of it from the bad ones (though it’s become increasingly difficult). And most importantly, I still love the way their canon relationship was developed up until before the serum bowl. Almost nothing has happened with them since then, so that’s why I was still really hyped for the next 2 years, but recently, and with Levi’s return, I’ve just grown more frustrated and bored with it.

After all, I fell in love with the romantic fanon ship BECAUSE the canon relationship was so interesting, had potential, and seemed to be going some incredibly cool directions, as both the characters seemed to be similar, had the same goals and understood each other on a basic level. It turned out to be almost nothing in the end, but alas.

So, how can I ship them if I don’t like one of them?

I still like Levi, especially when I reread the early arcs. This doesn’t mean I have to accept the worst sides of him that have apparently taken over his whole personality. His violence ISN’T a flaw I - or anyone, imo - should accept. Snoring IS a flaw we can/have to accept if we love someone. Violence is something that must be overcome. My annoyance with people implying they are better fans because they accept and embrace and excuse him and his violence, compared to those who don’t like that, is also a factor in my frustration. Understanding why exactly he’s the way he is is part of being a fan of a character, wishing for him to become a better person and ultimately letting go of toxic (yeah) acquired behaviors, imo, is better than defending and hyping them up. Some people even LOVE and WISH that violence will be his downfall because it’s violence for the sake of avenging [redacted] so it’s sooo romantic. lmao, ok. And I won't even get started about the ones who SERIOUSLY say that adult characters don't need to change, because I'm gonna start laughing for 3 hours straight. Dudes, there's not an age where you stop changing. If you stop trying bettering yourself at age XX, then I already know you're a shitty adult irl, goodbye.

Anyways, back on track. As I said in another post I may have linked above, I thought his encounter and resolution with Kenny would have amounted to something in this regards, since Levi used violence to get acknowledgment and to feel like he was “worth” something, imo, but it was only a set up for serumbowl. Wasted chance.

And I get it that violence is the way he was taught to deal with things, but 20 years have passed since then and he had a whole character arc in Uprising about opening up, trusting, feeling trusted in return, and feeling good and grateful and happy about that BECAUSE he was open with his squad and learned that it was better to use words rather than fists. So I thought he had grown out of it at least a bit. But I mean, there are other characters who have regressed or haven’t changed at all after their supposed character arc, and that dampened to a great degree the enjoyment of such characters for me (Historia, Ymir, Reiner), so whatever I guess? I can definitely see it’s something of a “cruel” way of storytelling Isayama really seems to like, maybe because he wants the characters to suffer. I guess you can’t have a story if all of your characters become better people and overcome their flaws…well, actually you can, but I guess Isayama doesn’t want this to be that kind of story.

But anyway, just to be clear, it also ties in with wanting the characters you love to better themselves and let go of things that ruin their lives or that have roots in trauma. Wouldn’t you want that for someone you love, even and especially in real life? So, if his violent tendencies have been portrayed as “wrong”, Bad Coping Mechanisms, and rooted in childhood trauma, why is it so frowned upon in this goddamn fandom to wish for him to let go of them, since it’s something that has caused him and characters around him pain or distress or downright failure. Overcoming these flaws would mean he’d feel better about himself, and others, and his past, etc. Why is it SO wrong to wish him the best? Lmao, I don’t get it.

So when his “real fans” be like “Levi’s violence is a part of him, you don’t love him for real if you can’t accept that part. anyway he’s perfect the way he is”, I’m like…that’s actually bullshit. I just want him to be a better person, just like I wanted to be a better person when I had detrimental (for me and for the people close to me) behaviors due to mental health stuff.

It’s not even on the same level of wanting him to stop being rude, that’s part of his charm. Violence…is not a cool personality trait, and it’s something you should want him to get over.

–

I still love lots of things that were shown in the manga in regards to Eren and Levi, so I don’t get why I should justify myself for liking them together just because I don’t like some parts of one of them. I still think some of Levi’s best personality traits came out when he interacted with Eren, and I like the Levi who cares about Eren the most. Hence why I ship the goddamn ship. That’s all there is to it, really. Here I talked about what I loved about their relationship, though now I feel like a bit of a hopeful fool.

#nobody will read this 10k words long rant but whatever #shingeki asks #salt #Levi #unnecessary post but it was a good chance at venting #I feel like I haven't even touched one of the main big reason #but I don't want to talk about e*win tbh #arekupacific

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girlobsessed21 · 5 years

Text

The 100 6x11 discussion - burning desires of change

Hey guys, as usual, here’s my breakdown of the episode. Props to Mr. Bob Morley on his directing debut - insert applause emoji here. All in all, it was great, I enjoyed it, albeit a little weird. But it’s to be expected of a conversion episode taking us into the finale.

Like I explained in my 2nd predictions post, “Ashes to Ashes’ has Biblical connotation and it’s also a British crime drama about time traveling back to the early 80′s as well as David Bowie’s 1980 hit single about addiction.

Apart from Ash being Echo’s real name, I struggled to find the link to the title until it hit me with a wrench from behind. It’s about cycles, repetition, doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results (which Einstein did not say btw). Only now, it’s breaking that rotation. Demons are overcome (apart from Madi), and it’s time to do better.

Octavia’s no longer Bellamy’s responsibility, Clarke refuses to kill innocents, the children of Gabriel learn the truth, Miller disobeyed to transcend and Echo (or Ash), well, I’ll talk about her later. To Monty! Will this also be the end of the ‘will they, won’t they’ dance for Bellamy and Clarke? See my thoughts on this.

That said, let’s fall into the recap.

A child possessed

Okay, Sheidheda was a lot creepier in this episode than the previous ones. if Madi wasn’t completely overthrown before, it seems like she is now and her driving force is pure vengeance. The bond between Madi and Clarke is harder to break than diamonds, which we saw in season 5 and here again.

For six years, all they had were each other. Since the little Natblida was only six when Clarke found her, she won’t even remember her real family all that well. To Madi, Clarke was her savior, her family, her protector, her mother and basically everything else. Having such an influence taken away from you is artery-slicing.

The demon in her head knows this, plays on it and manipulates in a way an abuser lures children in with sweets. Given her age and lack of experience, she follows blindly. I have a feeling this might continue onto season 7 but I hope Raven finds a way to eliminate him. That face freaks me out. For now, he’s gonna cause a lot more damage than we anticipate and will probably be a spoil of war for the peaceful plan.

John Murphy - court jester or hero?

Yeah, he’s been a fence-sitter the entire season, but you have to admit, Murphy provides some much needed comical relief. Granted, the writers have turned up the humor via Bellamy, Clarke, and Diyoza, yet Murphy’s sarcasm should never be taken for granted. “Houdini Miller.” He might not make it to the end of the season.

If someone threatens the life of the person you love, will you protect everyone else or only that person? Ask Bellamy, he did the exact same thing. Risked the lives of everyone else to save his girl, of course Murphy will do the same. He wants to marry Emori, he’ll face hell to ensure her safety.

Still, he warns Echo in good old Cockroach fashion. Don’t let them find out I’m on your side, there’s but one side and it’s mine - and Emori’s. As long as the primes think that, he’ll have a chance of being spared. Murphy is such a great character, sure, he has deviated from being good, but that’s what makes him interesting.

The more layers and substance a character has, the more convincing and relatable they are. All of us have flaws, Murphy’s biggest one is his selfishness, does this make him a bad person? Absolutely not. He struggles and sometimes stumbles due to it but he still cares. Only the size of his heart’s in question, not the existence and it gets them out of some serious syrupy situations.

The makes of the Blakes

So, Bellamy doesn’t care about the delusional cult followers, he merely wants to save his people, to hell with the rest. In a sense, he betrayed them to rescue his love? soulmate? person? and has to make up for it. Now, Bellamy, did Monty not teach you anything?

Being so determined, he calls his sister the queen of cannibals. Killing her own people to ensure their survival. She did what she had to do, why can’t he? I didn’t know Bellamy even knew about this, why didn’t they show his reaction to finding out? Wouldn’t it have led to him cutting her some slack? He was in the exact same situation many times before.

Probably not. His whole life has always revolved around her, everything he did was to protect his sister to the point of borderline, unhealthy codependency. Octavia was his purpose and yet she threw him in a fighting pit to die after he once again tried to save her - from herself.

Gabriel then tells Bellamy his sister is special, she returned from the greatest mystery of Sanctum. If I remember correctly, Lincoln called her special too when she was unaffected by the biological warfare. There’s more to it though, in my opinion, I still think Diyoza will return, they were both called by the anomaly, why would only O survive? That anomaly is going to be some crazy wow-factor, I’m certain.

I believe a cult won’t be too happy to find out that its leader is the exact thing they’re rebelling against. And the children of Gabriel seemed pretty pissed, especially Xavier’s sister. That is until Bellamy gives them a plan to fulfill their cause. Unfortunately for him, it means teaming up with O to find the powerful red sun toxin. For once the cultists weren’t useless!

Poor Gabriel, all he wants is peace. I thought Jordan would be a Monty reincarnator but apparently, that’s Gabriel. Or he’s more of Lincoln II? Either way, I hope he doesn’t die. Speaking of Jordan, I miss him in his recovery bed.

Anyway, “what do you say when sorry isn’t good enough?” Despite Bellamy’s countless efforts to keep O occupied, she won’t stop breaking down the walls around his heart. Those mushrooms were strong, Bell, we saw it. Octavia’s speech was so deep, honest and touching that Bellamy’s stray tears hardly seem enough.

The way it was resolved though, is more than satisfactory. After everything that’s happened, it wouldn’t be enough development for him to simply accept what she’s done and move on. But, he’s willing to give her a chance to prove herself while no longer being the core of his world. “You’re my sister, but you’re not my responsibility, not anymore” is probably the best metamorphosis I’ve witnessed on this show. It clips the umbilical cord for both of them to emerge as individuals.

Echoes of a cold-hearted spy

So, I assume Echo protected Ryker thinking she could bank on his morality to spare her. And of course, she keeps scraping at the flesh wound. But Ryker believes saving his family keeps the peace, killing Echo saves everyone else. One life instead of thousands - it’s for the greater good, right? Wrong. The acting here was great, I was totally convinced of Ryker’s bouncing morals.

Off-topic, I completely forgot Miller used to be a thief and I’m glad we got to see his pick-pocketing skills in action. He deserves some credit and screentime, since being a part of this show for six seasons. Oh, and the transcending moment between him and Gaia was super sweet.

For a second I thought Echo would become Simone and then I remembered that she also took ALIE’s chip and they wouldn’t rehash the neural mesh storyline. Meaning my fears were quickly soothed.

Onto the important part, what was that back story supposed to mean? All I got out of it, is that Echo’s cycle isn’t broken. That leopard hasn’t changed its spots. Don’t get me wrong, it broke my heart that she had to kill her friend and resume her identity in order to survive. But, it felt like a turning point in Echo’s character that plunged her into heartlessness. Will she become that person again?

I know Echo might not be a fan favourite, but she’s really grown on me this season. She’s smart, loyal and fierce, I like her. Not Bellamy and Echo together though, I can’t see a semblance of a connection between them. And their relationship is only hurting their characters.

Why would they build her up as a great character just to show that she cares about no-one, not even her friends? I mean I get why she killed Ryker, leaving him alive was too much of a risk - he would tell Russel about her, Miller and Gaia being at large. Though that murderous glint in her eyes tells me that was purely for revenge and completely against their newfound lifestyle. Maybe I’m wrong.

I’m curious to know what being a nightblood will mean for her now and how her character might change after being held at gunpoint.

Meanwhile, Monty’s mantra rings through Clarke

Oy, Bellamy risked everything and everyone to save Clarke and if she can’t play the part of Josephine convincingly, that was all for nothing. And our boy’s not happy about it - at all. Only, Clarke refuses a Mount Weather do-over.

I just need to mention Bellamy’s face when Murphy come’s through the tent - priceless. Then Jade finally gets a chance to knock someone out too. Yay for her!

The moment Clarke’s safe, she goes straight to Bellamy for reassurance and goodbye. Backtracking to the start of the episode, the way he flung to her side when she woke, touched and comforted her was toothachingly soft and way too intimate to be non-romantic.

Bellamy gets this shy, ‘aw it’s nothing’ expression when Clarke thanks him for saving her life. Because to him, it really is nothing, there’s nothing he wouldn’t do for her. And while he’s making heart-eyes at his friend, his girlfriend is being prepped for a blood transplant and murder. I cannot see how there won’t be any followthrough on this.

If there’s not, it’s altogether bad writing, showcasing and wasted potential. Right now, there’s too much going on for a decent conversation that’s years overdue and I’m hopeful they’ll get it. In the synopsis of the finale, there’s a hint at romance and I truly believe it’s theirs.

Well done Eliza! For playing Clarke and Josephine, Clarke as Josephine and vice versa. She’s an amazing actress and has come a long way from, “Stop, the air could be toxic!.”

The woman must have been devastated when she walked in on Madi strapped to a chair, being drained for her blood. Yet, in the scheme of greater good, she acts oblivious. She plays the part of a nonchalant sociopath so well, while sparing Madi via a sedative and shifting the focus to her mind drive.

Those newlyweds sure know how to act and direct!! Like always, I’d love to hear your thoughts, did I read the Echo backstory correctly? Till next week, bye!

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