#I don’t actually listen to Hozier but my friend told me about the songs | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sorry-imma-scorpio · 11 months

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anyway, don’t be a stranger :)

It’s a rant :)

I think I have read Solitaire by Alice Oseman a good 20000 times by now.

You can’t blame me though, it is an amazing piece of literature and I seem to have found solace in its tragic storytelling.

It has been a while since I’ve posted anything, no one has read it, but is that really the point? I just seem to exist on this plane and yeah. I found an analysis I did of “The World Is Ugly” by My Chemical Romance, total red flag. 7th grade me was an absolute trainwreck.

I spend 4ish hours a couple weeks ago on my ranking of Taylor Swift’s albums, and my big three are Speak Now, 1989, and Folklore. Not surprising - I grew up on Speak Now, 1989 was a major gift to 10 year old me, and Folklore is my comfort album honestly.

Honestly, I’m considering just putting my name on this blog, make it more personal. Why not? We’re all going to die at some point, might as well name my own diary that’s floating through space and time.

I want to dye my hair dark, it’ll be the second ever time in my 18 years of existence that I have dyed my hair.

My best friend graduated high school this last weekend. I’m so proud of her.

I am always nauseated but I can’t tell if thats because of my F in French or my long-lasting duel with diet culture and societal pressures.

The current song in my Delta-complimentary-headphones is Friend, Please by Twenty One Pilots for no other reason than middle school nostalgia and I am attempting to be an academic weapon (I graduate in less than 20 days and I am having a breakdown about it).

I think that my English teacher is going clinical- she is actually having us use ChatGPT to create a fiction story. Is that not what Hollywood is currently striking? The use of AI in the world of Creative Arts? It’ll be okay, Kai Stormrider (the guardian in this AI-generated mess) will guide me to a hopeful A- at the end of the semester.

Middle school me would absolutely bully Senior year me for using tumblrdotcom to procrastinate a French assignment that I am literally using google translate for. But hey *shrug* we’re on a floating rock.

I accidentally told one of my ?friend’s? that she dumbs herself down for her boyfriends, but I meant she chooses dumb boys to fall head-over-heels for.

I think she’s going to block me.

In Instagram group chats, I send similar messages to this, but I get told that they are “schizophrenic monologues”... can they not just be me recapping the conversation you asked for a recap on? Must it always be something that requires a diagnosis?

I feel like I should be crying as I write this, but I can’t.

My crying wrapped that I have on Google Forms sits unused this evening, with a total of 36 cries so far that I can remember having this year. It has been 142 days since the year has started. I have spent 25% of this year crying. I thought it was less.

The song has changed- it is now March to the Sea, also by Twenty One Pilots.

I think Tori Spring was written for me. About me. To me. I feel so similar to her it’s crazy.

Why do we just write out the full words of “I can not” instead of “I can’t” when we write about period pieces - they used other words. “I mustn’t” for example, still a conjugation, but they used it.

I started another chapstick today. Not because I ran out of my other, but simply because I lost it.

I’ll find it some day. Will I find myself in the way I will inevitably find my vanilla Burt’s Bees?

Life is a bitch.

Hozier played. Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene.

I still haven’t listened to francesca.

I have told my ?friends? about this account, how I use it to cope. But none of them care. A snap back here, a laugh, a text left on read.

Last weekend, I went on a vacation from school for a bit. To go see my best friend as she graduates from high school. It was nice to feel wanted.

I start nearly every line with an I.

I should be more creative.

“I Wish You Would” by Taylor Swift.

What would you wish for?

I don’t know what I would wish for. A break? A trip? An A in the French class I am still procrastinating?

My girlfriend already went to sleep. I love her so much, just everything she does. I feel bad that I feel like this, but I can’t just tell her. We’re long distance so she would worry and I can’t do that to her - I know that is a whole anxious-avoidance style or whatever. But IDK. I don’t want to stress her out or worry her, so I stay the happy, sunny, golden retriever girlfriend.

The Nick Nelson to her Charlie Spring.

She knows I have shit going on in my life, in my mind, but not as much as I really do deal with.

still not crying

Got some Panic!, MCR, and now Scott Street by Phoebe Bridgers.

“do you feel ashamed?”

I have 22 missing assignments, and even less days to make them up. I’ve mentioned that.

I’m going to procrastinate later. Tomorrow. I sign up for where I sit for graduation.

yay.

you are loved,

scorpio (kind of)

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afro-elf · 4 years

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fine, i’ll elaborate on my thoughts about tylor sift but they will be disorganized

disclaimer: i know a few people will read this and be like “op is a hozier fan can she really talk about the cultural obsession with mediocre white art?” and the answer is yes because a) i’m black and i have an english degree so can do whatever i fucking want, b) hozier is a better artist than taylor objectively, like his mediocre tracks would be considered her great ones, and c) the comparison of taylor to hozier is part of the problem Genuinely because i don’t even think white people like half the music they listen to, they just don’t wanna be left behind, we’ll get into this later. i’m sorry to everyone who is tired of hearing about him but hozier will be returning later in this post jsfglsjlgldsjlfd

second note: read this

i don’t just dislike taylor because she’s white. i don’t dislike taylor because she’s a woman. i don’t dislike her because she writes mean and petty lyrics about past relationships and people who wronged her. i don’t dislike taylor because her public circle of friends is almost exclusively blonde white celebrities with their own laundry lists of issues that includes ryan reynolds and blake lively who are poster children for white privilege and pseudo-excellence if i’ve ever seen them. i dislike taylor because the amalgamation of all of those things is so exemplary of a huge problem i have with the music industry in general but also like american society

fuck it, numbered list!

1. taylor swift consistently releases the same mediocre album but in different colors. every album is the same lyrically and tonally. her body of work rarely goes very far above “good for taylor swift”. folklore as both title and musical aesthetic is irrelevant to the actual content of the album, which is just every taylor swift album except set to folk pop and with a bit more cussing, congrats for baby’s first swear. i’ve seen folklore compared to much better bodies of work and even propped up by stans as album of the year, a distinction that rina sawayama and chloe x halle will be battling it out for if there is any justice in the world at all. the fact that she is allowed to do this and still be considered great when this is something that even white male artists are butchered critically for... astounds me. like we all know how well received all of coldplay’s similar sounding albums are.... Come on.

2. i don’t think taylor or her work is particularly feminist and yet for some reason every time she frowns an army of white women brings her kleenex. i’m not saying taylor’s anger has always been unjustified, but her feminism to me has always felt like “i can do whatever a man can do” feminism, which is utterly fucking useless to me as a black woman. it’s only useful to her because as a wealthy, white, straight, cis white woman her ONLY obstacle in life is her gender. and if she just didn’t have that tricky little bitch then maybe people would take her seriously. like, just think about her music video for the man... what was the thesis of that? what was the point of that? with all of her privileges she’d just be gaining a single extra privilege. she’s a blonde blue eyed thin white girl, the world kisses her feet. i have no interest in proving myself any better or any worse than white men, they are not the standard for how a person should be treated, they’re cautionary tales, and white women are too. i think taylor capitalizes off of white woman victimhood, and it’s all over her writing style. even when she’s trying to be empowered, like in mad woman for example, there is this tone to it of victimization, poking the bear, unleashing the beast if you will. she invokes the imagery of salem witches and even more boldly chooses a noose to write about in the song which is..... surely going to be a white tumblr staple for many gifsets to come but holy shit is it hollow. she also tends to come back to teenage memories in her music and she’s thirty. i don’t think about being seventeen unless i’m being held at gunpoint but she seems to think about it All The Time. and part of this is to keep herself young, at least in her music, which only further ingrains this image of fragile teeny bopper taylor into the mind of the listener, fueling her victim image. this imagery and language means nothing because the world always rallies around taylor. even when she was the butt of jokes for not being beyonce (which she is not and never can be) and writing about her exes (which she does), she was largely supported by the industry and by critics. look at how many fucking awards she has!

3. folk and indie and alternative music is in a moment of transition, where musicians of color are getting the chance to really speak about how they’ve been treated in these overwhelmingly white circles and create their own standards and their own voices. and for taylor swift to swoop in with aaron dessner and jack antonoff fantano and almost reassert that mid-2010s indie sound as The Sound of folk pop in the popular consciousness.... it makes me violent! it! makes! me! violent!

4. back to hozier! finally, i wanna talk about white standom, fandom, bandom, and womandom. i often see these very superficial comparisons between hozier and taylor (and hozier and florence and hozier and stevie nicks and hozier and whatever other white woman in fashion) and they frustrate me for more than one reason. i know that hozier has met taylor and said she’s cool, which is nice of him and he’s a nice man, but i’m not a nice man so i’m going to just say it: none of the people who have made those posts have listened to more than four hozier songs and it shows. the reason why this matters is because these posts catch on and create an image and preconception of hozier’s music that is divorced from reality and divorced from his influences and most importantly divorced from the deliberate and reverent blackness of his musical style. hozier has his white male privilege in the industry for sure but he’s not as towering of a giant as taylor and taylor’s music is an unsalted chicken, plain oatmeal, white paint drying on a white wall, a stick of unflavored gum. her music is so white it told me that its dad is a cop. i am, as a black hozier fan, exhausted with having to share space with white women who don’t know why hozier’s music kicks me in my lungs sometimes and think that taylor mentioning a tree ONCE in her 3 minute acoustic guitar slog about whatever suburb is the same when it simply is not. i swear some of you are pretending to love taylor because your friends love her and you don’t wanna be left out of the hot new musical discourse but she’s only the hot new musical discourse CONSTANTLY because she’s a white woman, she’s almost the Perfect white woman. like if someone asked me to describe a white woman, it would be taylor swift. her position at the top of the musical pyramid among people who eclipse her musically, vocally, and lyrically is only allowed because she’s The Perfect White Woman. she’s an ideal. white girls relate to her immediately because of it and now we have this unshakable mob of unbearable white women who think that the world has wronged someone who literally wrote fanfiction about the rich oil heiress white woman who owned her rhode island mansion before her aklghlghdhlgs it drives me fucking NUTS

anyway that’s all. if you made it this far, listen to adia victoria, kaia kater, samantha crain, valerie june, kelsey lu, corinne bailey rae, brittany howard, kimya dawson, japanese breakfast, cold specks, left at london, rhiannon giddens, aisha badru, shea diamond, nadine shah, xenia rubinos, karen o, mirel wagner.... Anyone

#me #taylor swift meanie hour #long post

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darling-i-read-it · 3 years

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Hug

Pelle x reader

Word Count: 2.2k

Warnings: Danis grief and the things that come with that (crying, heaviness)

Author’s Note: this was not on my list of things I wanted to write and yet

I feel held by him okay

Summary: You and Pelle meet through Dani and Christian (man I suck at summaries)

Song: Run by Hozier

I don’t own these characters. They belong to author/director

(not my gif)

Dani liked you. She liked you a lot. You made her feel sane and that helped her in more ways than one. She liked the fact that you would always listen to her and tell her that she was right, even when she was wrong. She liked that your eyes never once flitted away from her when she spoke. She liked that you understood her grief in a way that most people would never try to.

She almost had no desire to introduce you to Christian. She loved Christian, she really did, but you didn’t need to meet her boyfriend.

Dani thought, even though you did appreciate her that you would never understand the way that he loved Christian. Maybe she didn’t even understand it.

In any event, she wouldn’t be able to explain in an adequate way.

But still, you pushed.

You were hanging out with her, in her room. She was walking around the room numbly, trying to understand why her head never seemed to be wrapped around the room when people were speaking. A sorrow was still hanging over her.

“Do you want to talk about it?” you asked. You were sitting on her desk, watching her anxiously pace back and forth.

“No.” She stopped walking. “I’m sorry, that was blunt.” You shook your head.

“Don’t worry about it. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want,” you told her evenly. Dani walked up to you and sat down at the chair in front of you. She felt a little more clear headed with you. It helped to be around people sometimes. Tears started to well up in her eyes but she quickly shook them away.

“Christian has been distant lately. I don’t know how to tell him I still need him without being...needy,” she said, avoiding your eyes.

“He should understand.” You gave her a narrow look and she sighed.

“Yeah yeah. I know you wanna meet him.”

“I just wanna learn about this guy who supposedly has absolute zero ability to read his girlfriends moods.” She sighed.

“You wanna meet him? Alright. You can meet him. But his friends will probably be there and if you don’t wanna-”

“I’d love to meet his friends as well. You can tell a lot about a person based on the company that they keep.”

====

“This is Y/N. Y/N this is Christian, Mark, Josh and Pelle.” You shook their hands, a kind smile on your face. Mark eyed you for a second longer than he should have and you weren’t sure how to feel about them as a whole. A very basic group of boys that may not be all that they seemed. You were all at Christians place which was dirty. Clothes were on the floor and most of his books were strewn around. There was food on the kitchen counters.

You ignored your initial thoughts and waved slyly.

“Nice to meet you. I’ve heard a lot about you all.” Truth be told, you didn’t know much about any of them but Christian. You barely knew their names to faces.

“You’re the only friend of Dani’s we hear about. You go to school here too right?” Josh asked. You nodded.

“Yes. It’s how Dani and I met.” Your eyes looked around the four of them and surveyed their expression. The man at the end, Pelle, had a very neutral and soft looking expression on his face. You admired him immediately.

But you ignored that so that you were able to assess Christian better.

“Now Christian, I think it’s about time I teach you how to treat your girlfriend,” you teased gently and the guys raised their eyebrows. Mark patted Christians back.

“She’s got her guns out. How are you going to respond?!” Mark asked loudly. Christian was laughing and so were you but you had been serious. He was a terrible boyfriend. If they had classes on how to be a decent boyfriend, you would force him to take them, for Dani’s sake.

“You’re Dani’s friend which means you are my friend,” he said finally. Your lips twitched and you nodded slowly. “Can I offer you anything to drink?”

“No, thank you though.” Dani sat down at the living room area and the boys quickly followed. Her and Christian were on the love seat, Mark in one of the chairs and you, Pelle and Josh on the couch. You were sitting beside Pelle on the left.

He smelled good.

“How is school treating you?” he asked. You turned to him, pleased to hear that his voice was as soothing as he looked. He had an accent you couldn’t place - you were hopeless with accents.

“Well! At this rate, I should get through finals with only a few scratches here and there,” you told him.

You could hear that Mark had asked Christian a question and they were having a conversation off to the side.

“How about you?” you asked.

“Good, just about as good as you. I wonder, maybe if we have any teachers in common,” he suggested. You nodded.

“It’s entirely possible. What are you studying?”

“I’m in the Anthropology department.”

“We may overlap. I’ll have to check your schedule.”

Dani gave you a look but your eyes were not on her. She couldn’t distinguish what you and Pelle were saying because your voices were so calm while the other boys were booming. She was only a few feet away and still...whatever you were laughing about was lost on her.

====

You didn’t stay long. Dani and you had to get back so that you were able to study for finals. And by that, it was usually you studying with her in the room so she had someone to keep her in check. You didn’t mind.

“You and Pelle seemed to get along well,” she noted.

“I was there to make sure Christian seemed like a decent human,” you told her.

“And?” You thought about it for a moment and she was right. You had talked to Pelle almost exclusively.

“Pelle was really nice,” you conceded. She laughed gently. At least you were able to be honest with her.

“I think he likes you. He’s a Swedish exchange student, if he didn’t tell you.”

“That’s where the accent is from! It was bugging me. I was about to start speaking to Google,” you said laughing. She rolled her eyes playfully.

“You could have just asked him.”

“I didn’t know if it was inappropriate!”

======

You ran your hand through your hair as you walked around your little apartment. It had about everything you could ever need and you loved it. Dani was sleeping on the couch you had managed to squeeze in.

There was a knock at your door.

You checked the clock on the wall and furrowed your brows in confusion. It was still pretty early in the day. You had to go to class soon.

You opened the door and Pelle stood in front of you, a kind smile on his face.

“Pelle! What a nice surprise,” you whispered. He looked confused as to your whisper and you opened the door enough to show Dani sound asleep. He nodded understandingly.

“I hope this isn’t inappropriate,” he said, in the same hushed tone.

“No, no. Although I do have to go to class soon. What is it?” You leaned against the doorframe.

“I thought our conversation the other day was really nice.” He paused for a minute, thinking over his words. You waited patiently. “I would like to take you out for coffee.”

You were a bit surprised that he had come all the way to your apartment to tell you that. You assumed that Christian had given him the address. He had it so he knew where Dani was, she had given it to him.

“I would like that very much. Although, you could have just called,” you said smiling.

“I prefer in person. I think it’s more personal.” You nodded but turned around, grabbing a pen off of your desk. You grabbed his hand and scribbled your number onto his palm.

“For when you want to tell me where to meet you.” He smiled and nodded once, pleasantly.

“Until then.”

====

Pelle called you that night to tell you where to meet him for coffee. You were pleased and excited. Dani woke up the next morning when you were getting ready to leave. It was Saturday so you didn’t have any classes to attend and you figured you were due a break from studying.

“Where are you going?” she asked groggily. You cleaned up your bed and turned to her on the couch.

“I have a coffee date,” you said honestly.

She raised her head up off the pillow and rubbed her eyes.

“Oh?” You nodded, fixing your hair in the mirror. You looked yourself over and nodded nervously at yourself. You looked good. You hoped it wasn’t too much for just a coffee date. “Care to share who it’s with?”

You sheepishly looked at her through the mirror.

“Pelle,” you said quietly. She laughed heartily. It was the first time you had heard her actually laugh in weeks.

“Pelle?”

“Yes. Go back to bed. I’ll probably be back before you get up.” She laid her head back down.

“Have fun at your coffee date!” she called but her voice was muffled by the pillow.

====

“Yes! I told Dani that but she doesn’t believe me. I don’t know, I think maybe we’re all a little too hard on her.”

The coffee date was going swimmingly. Pelle was funny and he was also able to give you good advice. You were amazed at his kind heart.

As for his feelings for you, he loved you. Dani had spoken about you and your kind heart before but he never thought you would be like this. He never thought he would love you this much so instantly. You were charming and honest and there was some quip left in you. He admired your qualities and was pleased to find that you liked him as well.

He could never be sure but he thought you may like it back at his home.

“You’re being a very good friend. Better than most,” he said honestly. He reached a hand forward and laid it on your hands which were sitting on the table. Both of your cups were empty. You looked down at his hand on yours and attempted to suppress your emotions.

“Thank you Pelle.”

You moved your hands apart so they were holding his hand between them. He smiled a bit, sheepishly.

“I really enjoyed this.”

“I did as well.”

You were very pleased to hear it wasn’t one sided.

You both stood up and started for the door. His hand still held yours. It was within walking distance of both of your homes but in opposite directions. Before parting he turned to face you. You smiled up at him, trying your very hardest to not let him know how much you had enjoyed the date.

That was when your phone rang. Your smile fell and you had to know who it was calling.

Dani.

“I’m sorry-”

“Don’t worry. I will wait.”

You picked up the phone and put it to your ear.

“Yes?”

“I-I need you.” She was crying. She didn’t like to ask for help so this must have been serious. You nodded stiffly.

“I will be there in a couple minutes. Hold on,” you said kindly. You hung up the phone and turned to him. “Dani needs me, I’m sorry.” He shook his head and before you could say another word, he was hugging you.

You had thought he might kiss you but this was almost better. It was almost for sure better than a kiss. His arms engulfed your body and held you tightly. He was wearing a soft sweater and it felt so nice against your face. He smelled like herbs and trees. You hugged him back, tightly. He had his hand on the back of your head and he gently kissed your shoulder.

He pulled away ever so slightly and kissed you softly. You had to pull away to smile.

“I’ll see you soon Pelle.” He nodded and you were about to walk away when he strengthened his hold on you.

“Mark, Josh, Christian and I are going to take a trip back to my home in Sweden for the summer. Dani will likely be invited too. Would you like to come?”

#pelle x reader #midsommar imagines #pelle imagines

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troubatrain · 3 years

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high for this - n. patrick

a/n: self indulgent marijuana fueled nolan smut?? from me?? never!! i started this the last time it snowed but i finally got a chance to actually finish it so i hope you guys like it! tagging @tkafuckit & @hookingminor because truly nothing gets done around here without them lbr

warnings: smut, marijuana

This had to be the worst blizzard to have hit Philadelphia in decades. At least that’s what the weatherman said while his toupee was dangerously close to falling off, an internal bet Nolan had with himself about how long it would be until it flew away in the wind and snow that was shutting down the city. Not only was he snowed in, he was snowed in with Joel and his girlfriend April who’d been pretending like Nolan wasn’t on the other side of the couch for the last hour. Nolan huffs, getting up from his spot on the couch in search of you.

Nolan didn’t like to admit it, but he had a soft spot for you he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was because you were just as much a weird third wheel to Joel’s relationship as he was. Or it could have been the way he started using hanging out with Joel and April as an excuse to do exactly what he’s doing right now. He walked down the hallway, two doors from the bathroom was your bedroom. He could hear the soft sounds of whatever record you were spinning on the other side, and he took a deep breath before he poked his head and smiled. You were nestled in your bed under a mountain of blankets and a movie on your laptop, “We’re stuck here I think.”

You laugh, an angelic sound bouncing off the walls of your room while Nolan hoped you wouldn’t catch his blush from across the room. You opened your blanket pile, tapping on the other side of your bed for Nolan to come join you. It wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary that Nolan would escape Joel and April to hide out with you, but he was doing it way more often than he used to, “Joel and April are making out aren’t they?”

“April’s five minutes from losing her shirt,” Nolan points his finger up, the sound of April’s giggle from the living room, “I don’t need to see that.”

You’d been in this position plenty of times, Nolan curled up in your bed while Parks and Rec played quietly in the background. Nolan would start off on one side of your bed, and before you knew it you were cuddled into his side while neither of you spoke a word. It was a comfortable silence, never asking for anything more or anything less, “You know, we’re snowed in and there’s nothing else to do…”

“Do you want me to roll a joint?” Nolan chuckles, pushing a piece of his hair from his face.

“You’re just so much better than me at it,” You admit, which wasn’t a total lie. Nolan was the best joint roller you’d ever come across, but Nolan was also the hottest joint roller you knew. It was such a weird thing to be attracted to, the way the paper would roll between his fingers and all you seemed to be able to focus on was how big his hands were, “Please?”

Nolan wasn’t going to say no, mostly because if you were both high he didn’t need an excuse to hold you because you always seemed to snuggle right up to him after. Besides, Nolan definitely wasn’t going to say no when you were pouting with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t leave you to watch Joel and April fuck,” You tease, pushing Nolan in the chest lightly. You heard him call you cute, but you couldn’t read into it. Nolan was single and in the time since you’d met it was clear he wasn’t fucking around with anyone else. Joel told you it was because Nolan was a little introverted and if he liked he wasn’t going to announce to the world. You didn’t think much of it until you met Kevin who was over the moon to meet the girl Nolan was always talking about. All of your friends seemed to think whatever you had with Nolan was on the fast track to being together, but Nolan never seemed to mention it to you. You open your end table, leaning across Nolan and grabbing your grinder and some bud, dropping it in his hands.

Nolan gets to work, long slim fingers dropping the weed onto the paper gently while you hopped off the bed and pulled out a record. Nolan looks up at you for a minute, a Temple hoodie hanging off your frame covering the shorts you had underneath it. His eyes wandered down your legs, god he wanted you, but he couldn’t even begin to figure out how to tell you. He should let you know that you were pretty much his dream girl, standing across the room flipping a Hozier album in your hands while you picked what you should listen to. It’s about the vibes Nolan, you remarked that to him the first time you ever smoked together, and now Nolan had a playlist just for songs he knew you loved most.

“You’re indecisive,” Nolan hums, watching you put the same record back on it’s shelf and licking the edge of the paper, “Just pick one, anything you pick will be cooler than I would have chosen anyways.”

You turn around sticking your tongue out at him and grabbing a Mt. Joy vinyl to put on, “Did you get that for me?”

“I got it for me,” You defend, holding in the truth that Nolan’s music taste seemed to be weaving itself with your own, “But I knew you liked them, and you never seem to leave me alone.”

“Don’t think you want me too,” Nolan mumbles, grabbing a lighter from your nightstand, sparking up the end of the joint and handing it over to you.

“Wow I get the first hit, what a gentleman,” You joke, sitting cross legged on your bed and watching the smoke fill your room. Nolan loved watching you smoke, the way it would just fall from lips and your voice would get a little raspier. He loved the way your eyes seemed to get hazier and your smile just a bit wider than it usually was, “Excellent work Patty.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Nolan chuckles, your head falling into his lap without a second thought. You both laid like that the entire time you were smoking, sharing the joint while Nolan’s fingers weaving through your hair absentmindedly, “I saw it by the way.”

“Saw what?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion at whatever he was on about.

“Your little helper,” Nolan muses, a tight lipped smile on his face because he could literally see your hazy mind trying to figure out what he was talking about. Nolan didn’t know why he needed to say anything about the very teeny vibrator in your bedside table next to your grinder, “Use it often?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You brush him off, it was Nolan and Nolan teased you all the time.

“You know I do,” Nolan hums, his gaze on you while you were practically squirming in his lap, “The same way that you know I like you but you never do anything about it.”

“Shouldn’t you be making the first move?” You poke open one eye to look up at Nolan. His hands moved quickly, grabbing your thighs and pulling you up to straddle his waist.

“Thought we were more progressive than that babe,” Nolan huffs, his voice deeper than it usually was. His hands were running up your legs, rough calloused fingers against your skin.

“I want to hear you say it,” You challenge, boldly running a hand through Nolan’s hair. Nolan’s heart was stammering in his chest, but when a silly smile danced across your lips he couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s hear it Patty.”

“I want you, here, now, and every time after this,” Nolan says, his voice sure, steady and clear. His lips ghosed over yours for a moment, “C’mere.”

Nolan wasn’t a man of many words, but he was going to show just how he felt. His hands cascaded down your body, stopping on your ass and giving it a tap while his lips pressed against yours. It was electric, and you wondered why you bothered to kiss anyone besides Nolan, “Nols-”

“Yeah?” Nolan pulls away, cheeks rosy and his breath ripped out his body from just one kiss. You bit your lip, looking at him in the eyes before you spoke again.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, grinding your hips against Nolan’s, pulling a groan from his lips. Nolan’s hand gripped your chin, crashing his lips against yours. His other hand snuck under your shirt, the rough calloused fingers that only lived in your fantasies rubbing against your soft skin. He flipped you over, holding himself up by his elbows while he pressed kisses down your neck.

“I’ve thought about this so many fucking times,” Nolan mumbles, his lips pressed against your skin. You could feel his teeth graze behind your ear, pulling a moan out of you.

“Maybe you should’ve done something about it sooner,” You smirk, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him back in for a kiss, “Could’ve saved me a few lonely nights.”

“Consider those over,” Nolan promises, giving you a sweet kiss before his hands grabbed the bottom of your hoodie to pull it off. Nolan’s lips move down your body, love bites and kisses pressed against your skin while he makes his way down to where you need him most. His fingers slipped under your sweats, looking up at you for the go ahead he needed, you nod eating up the feeling of Nolan’s hands on your bare skin, “So pretty baby.”

Nolan’s finger traced lightly over your thighs, his breath hot against your pussy while you ached for more, “Don’t tease me or I’ll get my little friend out to do the job for me.”

Nolan chuckles at your whine, a finger sliding up your folds, “That’s for another time babe.”

Nolan’s words had your eyes rolling to the back of your head, oh it’s definitely big. His tongue swirled your clit gently, trying to figure out exactly what was going to get you off. You let out a moan, one that definitely carried through the hallway loud enough for Joel and April to hear from the living room. Nolan smirks to himself, wrapping his lips around your clit and sliding one of his ridiculously long fingers inside you. Your hand gripped his hair, tugging on it gently while you bit your lip to stop yourself from being too loud, “Fuck Nolan, faster.”

Nolan nods, a second finger sliding inside of you and curling against your g spot. You grinded down on Nolan’s face, his free hand gripping your thigh to keep you in place. You were a moaning mess above him, not caring one bit about anyone hearing you because Nolan’s mouth was magic. It really is always the quiet ones. You were close, Nolan’s fingers sliding out of just when he started to feel your pussy clench around him. You whine, grabbing the back of Nolan’s head to keep his mouth against your pussy but it was no use when Nolan was that big, “Sorry did you want to cum?”

Nolan’s finger was teasing your entrance, watching the way your pussy was clenching in anticipation, you let out a breathy laugh, “Please make cum Nols, I need it.”

All it took after that was Nolan’s tongue around your clit and his fingers curled back inside you for you to cum. Nolan’s name fell from your lips, a sound that Nolan had dreamed of but never thought he’d actually get to hear. Nolan’s eyes looked over at your night stand, grabbing the extra joint he rolled and placing it between his lips. He tossed off his shirt, grabbing a lighter and sparking the end before he blew smoke in your mouth and pressed his lips against yours. You moan at sensation, gripping Nolan’s shoulder to pull him closer. You had him now, and you’d be damned if you were going to let him go.

Nolan kicks off his sweats, taking a few puffs from the joint and groaning when you palmed him through his boxers. He grabs your hand, dropping the joint into yours and pulling off his boxers to let his cock spring free. Your suspicions were correct- it was big, you let out a giggle, Nolan’s eyebrows furrowing at you, “What?”

“I had this bet with myself about how big your dick was,” You admit, taking your own pull from the joint and watching the smoke fill the room, “Not disappointed.”

Nolan laughs, pressing a kiss to your lips and lining his cock up to you. He looks at you, “You’re my fucking dream girl.”

Nolan didn’t spare you a second to react to his words before he slid inside you. He groaned at the feeling, his head pressed against your neck. Nolan’s hips snapped against you, your nails scratching down his back while he railed you into oblivion. You were seeing stars, moans and whimpers falling from your lips and not a single thought in your mind except the fact that Nolan was making you feel so damn good, “Cum for me again, c’mon.”

Nolan’s deep voice was rumbling against your neck, his dick twitched inside of you in need of a release. You clenched around him, your legs shaking from pleasure. Nolan pulled out of you, spilling onto your stomach with a loud fuck. Nolan collapsed on top of you, the both of you trying to catch your breath. He rolls over, pulling you close his chest, “I meant what I said, I wasn’t just trying to get laid.”

“I know,” You hum, snuggling closer to his chest, “Think April and Joel heard us?”

The last thing you heard before you finally let the exhaustion take over your body was a we did in unison from April and Joel down the hall.

#my writing #nolan patrick #nolan patrick imagine #greasy stoner boyfriend #nhl imagine #nhl imagines

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possiblyawesometmblr · 3 years

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dsmp relationships as hozier songs

work song -- phil and mumza

listen to this song and tell me it’s literally anything else. i can literally picture an animatic scene by scene for this one. “no grave can hold my body down, i’ll crawl home to her” don’t TALK to me he’s an IMMORTAL in LOVE

angel of small death and the codeine scene: dnf

dnf stans can have this one as a treat. this one gives me specifically george and dreamXD vibes, but that’s really just because he says the word angel, you can have it both ways. “with her sweetened breath and her tongue so mean” is the perfect descriptor for c!dream, fight me

take me to church: skephalo

we already know that bad literally started a whole ass cult because some egg told him he’d give skeppy back. mans is two steps away from cutting out the middle man and just straight up considering skeppy to be a religion

like real people do: bee duo

i just. i just. understanding that you’ve both been through trauma and not needing to talk about it to be there for each other anyway. that’s bee duo shit and it’s one of my favorite things about them

dinner and diatribes: awesamponk

it’s about....the Vibes™. also the line “your friends are a fate that befell me” in relation to ponk being with the eggpire? effervescent

would that i: karlnapity

i’m gonna let karlnapity stans pretend that everything’s okay for a little bit. quackity’s been through so many relationships but karl and sapnap are the first time he really felt like everything was right. and the part about a lover being fire in relation to sapnap is not lost on me thank you very much

talk: schlatt and quackity

these two are So Fucking Toxic. built on nothing but potential seduction. i love the idea of “imagine being loved by me” meaning that they can’t do anything but imagine because they’re not actually in love. also obviously the orpheus and eurydice myth doesn’t fit these two but...quackity did actually go searching underground for schlatt after he died. so.

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bokebelle · 3 years

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smoke and whiskey - zeke yeager

uni is absolutely kicking my ass but of course my brain had the urge to write for zeke instead of my molecular biology paper. so yes, this was inspired by the Hozier song so maybe give it a listen while reading

okay time for me to disappear bye

Pairing: zeke x gn!reader

Warnings: Cursing, alcohol, smoking, people being creepy in bars, profanity

His eyes follow your figure from across the bar, watching your figure interact with friends and strangers too close for his liking. Zeke was never a fan of places like these. He didn’t like the crowd and the noise and the smell of smoke all over the place. He didn’t like the pathetic attempts of people trying to get his attention when he obviously wasn’t interested. But most of all, he hated seeing sleezy men trying to lure you in and put their hands on you.

But you? You never noticed any of them

You enjoyed the music and the drinks. You enjoyed feeling yourself become as light as paper. You enjoyed feeling your nerves slowly disappear as you allowed yourself to get lost in it all.

Zeke enjoyed quieter, more intimate bars. Bars where he could actually hear the person he was talking to. But for you, he made an exception. For you, he’ll always make an exception. Because no matter how much detested being in places like these, he couldn’t deny the fact that he enjoyed watching you enjoy yourself.

He enjoyed you, he thought as he took a sip from the glass of whiskey in his hand.

He took a puff from his cigarette and let the smoke fill his lungs while the thought of you filled his head.

His pretty little baby.

His eyes watched your figure twirl and dance with your friends. A small smile forms on his face. He thanks the universe everyday for the friends who danced with you whenever he didn’t.

You never felt offended by this. That’s just how he was. He’d rather watch you act carefree and beautiful while he enjoyed his drink.

He notices another figure approach you and try to talk to you. He paid them no mind but still cautiously watched you. You usually just nodded in direction and they took it as a sign to back the fuck off.

He watched as you smiled at the stranger apologetically and nodded towards him, indicating you already had someone else.

But the stranger paid Zeke no mind. Instead, they smiled at you and took a step closer. The smile fell from your face as you took a step back, You tried telling the stranger to back away, that you weren’t interested but your words fell upon deaf ears. As Zeke watched the interaction unfold, the stranger took another step closer to you. A dangerously close step.

too close.

“Stop!” you told the stranger as you tried backing away, the liquid courage leaving your body almost instantly. “I’m not interested so back off” The stranger just smiled at you.

“C’mon beautiful, I won’t bite” he smiled, raising a hand to try and touch your cheek.

Suddenly you felt a protective hand around your waist. You see Zeke standingn by your side, cigarette between his lips, his eyes locked onto the stranger.

“I think you should listen to the pretty thing” Zeke said coolly. “Don’t make them say it again.”

He takes one last drag and uses his free hand to pull his cigarette from his lips.

He blows the smoke into the face of the stranger. “Fuck off” as he throws the cigarette butt at by the strangers feet, not once breaking eye contact.

The stranger knew he was down for the count so they took one last look at you, then at Zeke, before walking away.

You turned and wrapped your arms around Zeke’s neck “I’m sorry” you mumbled into the crook of his neck, feeling guilty for ruining the mood. “Thanks for always coming to my rescue.”

He places his other hand on your waist as he pulls you back so he can look at your face.

“Don’t worry about it, darling.”

You press a kiss against his lips. He tastes like cigarette smoke and whiskey. You stopped drinking the moment that douchebag started talking to you but you could feel yourself get drunk off of the taste of Zeke.

He gently pulls away and moves his mouth beside your ear

“No one...nothing fucks with my baby” he whispered quietly, his voice sending shivers down your spine.

He meant it.

Nothing fucks with his baby.

No one fucks with his baby.

No one.

Well, except him.

#aot #snk #shingeki no kyojin #attack on Titan x reader #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #attack on Titan zeke #zeke x reader #zeke yeager #zeke yeager x reader #zeke jaeger #zeke jaeger x reader #zeke jeager x reader #snk zeke #aot zeke #shingeki no kyojin anime #aot x gn!reader #aot x reader #aot x y/n #shingeki no kyojin x reader

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doctorspencereid · 3 years

Text

Loving a Ghost

Pairing: Suna Rintarō x reader

Warnings: angst and swearing, that’s about it

Word count: 4.6k

Songs to listen to: moon n sun by juneyear, like real people do by hozier, and mr.loverman by ricky mongomery.

A/N: Let me know if you guys want more this kind of thing? I haven’t written in ages, but Suna brainrot killed me and I’m an angsty mf

Part 2

___________________________________________________________________

Looking back, you should’ve been prepared. Suna Rintarō had been a constant in your life from your first year of Inarizaki. You’d made easy friends with him, finding comfort in his casual, quiet nature. Him finding solace in your easy moods and malleable temper.

If it was rainy and dark, he’d likely be with you in your car; the heat blasted and his phone connected to the blue tooth while one of his many playlists lilted over your car stereo.

Warm summer nights were in your room too, the only light coming from the LED’s against the ceiling, illuminating the room in a wash of whatever color fit the mood Suna was in that day; usually purple. Winters were at his place, when he was too frigid to crawl from under the blankets and he’d just call you to ask if you wanted to provide some company for the withdrawn middle blocker. You’d swallow your excitement and always agree with some laid back voice that didn’t portray the way your nerves were igniting with joy, jumping at any opportunity to spend time with him.

The night that your feelings for him became clear to you was in your second year. The both of you bathed in the dim glow of the purple lights of your bedroom. Some movie droned in the background, only there to provide some noise to filter off the silence. He had slid off your bed and nuzzled on the floor, his too large hoodie swallowing his lanky frame. You lazed across the comforter, on your phone and occasionally peering at the boy you’d come to call a good friend. As if sensing your eyes on him, he craned his neck back to peer at you, curiosity bubbling in those amber eyes, his eyebrows perked in a silent question.

Maybe it was the way that the lights casted shadows on his sharp features, or the way that his eyes seemed to glow, but the way that Suna Rintarō looked at you made the air in your lungs freeze. Your lips parted, silence engulfing the two of you for a brief moment while you basked in the languid fragility that was Suna’s beauty. Had he always been this beautiful? Heartbreakingly beautiful and intoxicating to look at.. oh my god. He broke the moment first, brows dipping quizzically.

“Hm?” Suna hummed, angling his torso to peer at your more clearly, incidentally shifting closer. You were immensely grateful for the low light that hid the way your cheeks had surely turned scarlet. A cough cleared your throat and you shrugged, peering down at your blanket, picking at the pattern idly.

“Are you staying the night or heading out? It’s almost eleven.” You spoke casually, hoping that your sudden awareness of Rintarō’s beauty hadn’t impacted your ability to speak too much. He darted his attention to his phone, surprise etched on his traditionally nonplussed features.

“Shit! Already?” He hissed, “Fuck. Can you drive me home?”

His eyes were pleading when they glanced back to you. Your heart hammered at the way they seemed to engulf you, looking at you with necessity. A smile spread at over your lips, “Of course.”

You clambered off the bed, stretching a little while you waited for him to stand and collect his things. A satisfying pop in your back forced you let out a contented sigh, relaxing in your posture you peered at Suna, who had yet to move. He looked at you with the hint of a pout and extended his arms out to you limply. With a snort, you reached out, sliding your palms into his to guide him to his feet. The feel of his hands against yours was something you tried to ignore, but it was impossible.

The drive to his house was short. In truth, Suna didn’t live too far, but walking in the cold night was something he hated doing. And why would he when he knew that all he had to do was ask and you were ready with your keys? You parked the car outside his house, shifting to face him with a signature half smile. “Don’t get caught, alright?” You told him with a short snicker. He rolled his eyes.

“When have I ever been caught?” And with that he was gone.

You pined after Suna in silence for months, nearing the end of your second year before the day came that Suna realized that you liked him. Though whether or not a piece of him had always known was up for debate. You were in the car, pulled over on the curb of some apartment complex that neither of you knew. The only light was a nearby lamppost that did little in the way of actually allowing either of you any visibility. The car was filled with the aroma of fast food. It was late, and Suna had invited you to sleep over. Only, around three a.m. he realized he was hungry and asked you to drive him to go get something. You obliged almost immediately, like he knew you would, and here the two of you were. Suna, indulging in fries that were slathered in such an ungodly amount of sauce that it might as well be a war crime, and you lazily sipping at what was left of your soda. Looking back now, if you tried to remember what exactly he said, you wouldn’t be able to - but whatever it was, it had you choking on your soda with such heavy laughter.

Suna had always found your laugh to be hilarious, but that coupled with your choking fit had him cackling. So much so that he missed his mouth with the fry he was trying to eat and got some of his abomination on his cheek. He reached over to clap his hand on your back, trying to get you to return to normal breathing, all while dying of laughter himself.

“You idiot!” He managed in between chuckles, “If you die, I have no way of getting home.”

Your eyes widened in mock horror at the suggestion, shaking your head while trying to get your laughter under control. You coughed a few times before finally forcing out some gravelly response, “Oh, glad to know my death would be inconvenient for you only because you can’t drive!” You fell back against your seat, slapping a hand against your chest, deep breaths still heaving out of you from your near death experience, “Not like I’m your friend or anything. That hurts, Suna.”

The volleyball player rolled his eyes at you, snorting and shovelling down another fry. “I can drive - but why would I when I have a personal chauffeur?” He jested, nudging your ribcage with his elbow. A scoff flew past your lips as a response, but that was all you said before taking another sip from your straw.

A comfortable silence settled in as Suna ate, his music echoing quietly in the speakers, a soft level. Upon finishing, he set his food down and turned to look at you. He almost seemed expectant. You eyed him from the corner of your vision, realizing he was facing you. Still high off humor, you turned quickly to stare back, chin resting in the palm of your hand. It was only when you turned did you realize how close the two of you were. The now familiar feeling of your heart slamming against your chest returned. Fuck. You could smell the residual wafts of his detergent from this close. Looking at him from this close you could see the sauce he had yet to wipe off from his cheek. Carefully, you reached out with your thumb, swiping the sauce off his cheek gingerly. The feel of his skin beneath your touch burned at your fingers.

Suna’s lips parted in shock, and you could see the surprise in his eyes. The way you looked at him, like he was the world. The warmth radiating off you and the color of your cheeks. Fuck, he could practically hear your heart beating a million miles an hour. Did he like you back? You were fun to be around, and he liked spending time with you. You were always there for him, even when he didn’t ask you to be. He didn’t know. That was the minute Suna knew he had you whipped. Unfortunately for you, Suna was not good with emotional moments and instead of simply backing away, chose that moment to burp - right in your face.

You threw yourself back, face scrunched in disgust as you swatted at him. “Ughhh! You are so fucking gross, Suna!” You whined, covering your face with your hands as if to erase the moment from your memory. Suna chuckled half heartedly, sinking back into his seat. A hesitant tension still lingered even though the moment was broken. He shrugged, resting one arm behind his back.

“Maybe, but you love me anyways.”

Yeah, you did.

______________________________________

The day your prayers were answered was near the start of your third year. The day you began dating Suna Rintarō. You’d decided to become a manager for Inzarizaki at the start of your third year, at the behest of the twins. With Kita gone, they needed someone to rangle the team in - and though you were hardly the one for the job, you figured there was nothing to lose in spending a few extra hours with your friends.

What you didn’t realize was that the twins had ulterior motives. During the time between second and third year, they’d come to realize that a certain someone had grown rather affectionate with their dear middle blocker. And Atsumu being Atsumu, suggested that a little meddling couldn’t hurt. Osamu figured that Suna liked you back, so what was the harm in setting the both of you up? No harm, no foul.

They’d bided their time carefully, peppering their plan into the first three weeks of third year. Both of them taking their turns in stealing your attention from Suna. Though Atsumu figured it would seem less like a joke if Osamu took more of the action. So he did. For weeks, the gray haired boy would flirt idly and chat you up in Suna’s line of sight. They hoped to invoke some reaction from their friend, to no avail. Save for the occasional eyebrow lift or eye roll, Suna didn’t offer much in ways of jealousy.

Until week four.

Suna had asked if you wanted to catch lunch with him that Friday after practice, like you guys often would. Unfortunately, the twins had caught on to this pre-weekend ritual and decided a little intervention was necessary. Osamu had begged you for help with a subject he claimed to be no good at. Being a good friend, you obliged with a smile - and as team manager, you needed to ensure these boys kept their grades up if they were going to be eligible to play. However, the only time Osamu could study just so happened to be that Friday after practice. So you’d declined Suna’s offer regretfully, and rather vaguely if he was being honest.

While he wasn’t owed an explanation, he was certainly curious as to what had come up that led you to cancel. So he watched you during that practice, keeping his precise stare on you in between plays. As manager, you were distracted by the game and didn’t have a chance to spare him a glance. Huh. It wasn’t until after practice however that everything clicked together. Instead of approaching him like you usually did, you sauntered over to Osamu with a sheepish smile. The way it softly turned up the corner of your lips made his stomach churn. Something in him burned. Like angry vomit or something.

He watched as you linked arms with ‘Samu, ‘Tsumu laughing on the other side of you. This was ridiculous. You were all friends. You always laughed with them. This wasn’t weird to see. So then why did it hurt so fucking much? He was so used to you doting on him. Even in a room full of people, he was still the center of your universe, Even in a group of friends, you were always making sure that he knew he was seen. But here you were, avoiding his eyes and walking out the gym doors with the miya twins in tow. Your arms linked with one of his best fucking friends. Why the fuck did it hurt?

He couldn’t sleep. Suna stared at his ceiling and imagined shapes in the texture. It was past midnight and he knew that you weren’t with Osamu anymore. But calling you felt difficult. What if you were asleep? Or maybe you were still hanging out with the twins. Fuck that. Suna reached for his phone, finding your contact at the top of his list and calling immediately. He waited for your answer, but it never came. Voicemail. You didn’t call back. And he didn’t sleep.

At nearly noon he was awoken from the lightest of sleeps by a call. Your call. If he was less upset then he might’ve been embarrassed by how quickly he answered your call.

“Hey,” he said quickly, sounding breathless. He was. This time his heart was hurting and he felt like he couldn’t breathe, like the air in his lungs was ripped out. Fuck. Was this how you felt all the time? It sucked ass.

“Hey, Suna - sorry I didn’t answer last night. Osamu left late last night and I kind of crashed immediately.” You explained, and he could practically hear your smile. It twisted his heart. “Was there something you needed?”

You, he thought, I needed you.

“ I uh,” he stammered, “Can we hang out today? If you’re not busy?” Don’t be busy.

“Yeah of course! I’ll pick you up?”

“Sure.” He agreed quickly, and immediately ended the call. A fresh wave of oxygen supplied his lungs - but it was temporary relief. He needed more air. He would get it. As soon as you came by.

If you were being honest, you were surprised at how haphazard Suna looked when he slumped into your car. He was lazy sure, and generally disheveled - but Suna looked so exhausted it almost broke your heart. The way he looked like a sharp wind would snap him made you want to wrap him in the flannel you wore; it was his flannel, but it’d been in your possession for so long that it hardly fell under his ownership anymore. Suna was quiet when he got in, not saying anything until you started driving. He didn’t even play his music.

Huh. Okay? Did I do something wrong?

You let the silence hang there for a minute before deciding to say something.The uncomfortable tension hanging between the both of you was not something that was common between you and Suna, the faster you could alleviate it - the better.

“Suna-”

“I like you.”

You slammed on the breaks, and Suna jolted forward with a wince. With an apologetic mutter, you pulled over, parking the car. Quiet had settled again, only now the tension had doubled. Shifting in your seat to face him, you found that he was already staring at you.

“I like you and I know you like me too.” Suna said again, his stare even and cool despite the slight waver to his words. A blush rose to your cheeks. How could he possibly know that??

“I- What do you mean? Are you serious?” You asked, brows furrowed in concentration. Suddenly, you peered up at him, eyes pleading with him in a silent display. “Please don’t joke with me.”

“I’m serious.”

It was like breathing air for the first time in your life, feeling the rush of oxygen was enough to make you dizzy. Euphoric even. A hazy smile clambered over your lips and you probably looked like a goof but holy shit. Suna noticed your grin and matched it with a smirk.

“Good.”

______________

The first three months with Suna were absolute bliss. The twins had celebrated their successful attempt at getting the two of you together. And despite their explanation that Osamu flirting was only a ploy catalyze the relationship, Suna still eyed Osamu warily anytime he neared you.

In the first three months, Suna seemed energized. Invigorated. He sparked with some unseen electricity that left you captivated by him; or more so than you had been. You were enthralled by the energy he seemed to have, though it was a subtle change, it was noticeable to you. His eyes were lit with a soft light that had you surrendering to the smallest of glances. In truth, not much had changed between the two of you, only now the two of you were willfully affectionate with one another. You were still best friends, but now you were best friends that went on dates and made out in your parked car. He would lend you hoodies and alternate jerseys to wear to his games, and when you wore them on the bench he seemed to play that much better.

In the first three months, Suna was more attentive than he had ever been. Pliable under your touch, soft to the gentle coo of “Rin”. He swore he felt a rush like no other when you called him Rin. If he’d known he could get serotonin this easily, he would’ve begged you to call him that years ago.

For three months, you had his attention and energy. You had his affection and effort. For three months, you were soaring in the clouds with Suna Rintarō.

And then the fourth month came.

As long as you’d known him, Suna had always been relatively low energy. It was why he’d gravitated towards you, you’d been a refuge for when he was exhausted. You were like a battery, always there with enough energy for the both of you. Except, he hadn’t realized that he’d been draining your battery. In the first three months of your relationship, Suna had been invigorated with a type of energy he’d never expressed before. While it wasn’t a colossal change, it was something you’d noticed. You’d gotten drunk off his affection. Addicted to the soft touches and gentle smiles. The way he’d reach for your hand first. So maybe that was why you noticed when it stopped.

Nothing had changed between the two of you, or at least nothing that you were aware of. But slowly, he stopped reaching over to tangle your fingers together. He stopped calling you. Not that you’d minded much. Your boyfriend was busy, so were you! But you still made time for him.

You always had.

Maybe you just needed to put in some more initiative, it was what you had always done in your friendship. You’d always poured more of yourself in, coming to Suna’s beck and call for a chance to spend time with him. So you texted him more. And he’d respond sometimes.

When you called, he would answer on occasion. At least you still had your midnight escapades. Suna in your car, his nickname on your lips, and soft secrets exchanged under the light of the moon. The soft warmth of your heater enveloping your moments with a cozy haze.

But the months went on and those midnight escapades were few and far between. You’d stay up late, hoping he would call you to hang out. He was too busy for you during the days, spending more time with the team than he did with you. If you asked him to grab lunch together, he would smile apologetically and press a chaste kiss to your forehead before explaining he was having lunch with the twins at a new spot. He wouldn’t invite you, and you didn’t invite yourself. So your only chance was under the blanket of stars.

He rarely called. And when he did, you jumped at the phone. You were always on call. Always ready for him. You would stay awake all night with the way your heart panged and yearned for air, and his ringtone provided you with that relief. For a few hours every few weeks, you’d have your Rin again. Where he would nestle himself in your arms and press his lips to your temple. He’d call you love and show you a playlist he’d made, ask you your thoughts. For those few hours on those few nights, you were content. You’d get your fix before the next withdrawal started.

During practices he hardly acknowledged you, even though you were the manager. He’d return a smile or two with a lazy tilt of his lips, but hardly anything else. Even the rides you gave him home were silent, him lazing his head on the window and giving you hums as a response to any conversation you attempted.

You were used to Suna being quiet and unresponsive, but even as friends he had given you more. But it seemed as though he simply didn’t care.

Suna Rintarō had always been a constant in your life. Until he wasn’t. He was sparse now, despite claiming his affection for you and calling you his girlfriend, he was largely absent. Finding that he hardly had any motivation to reach out to you. Why would he when he knew you would always be there to pick up the slack? He had no need to reach out for you when you were only an inch away. All he had to do was mutter a soft ‘babe’ and you were there. You were consistent. He’d never considered that could change. You’d always come whenever he’d call.

At school you were exhausted, late nights and hard work as a third year and a manager for a powerhouse volleyball team kept you busy. You’d been making less of an effort to contact Suna, finding that your time was being spent elsewhere. Parts of you prickled at the thought of contacting him. If he wanted to talk to you, then he could reach out. You didn’t have anything left in you to try. You were glued to your clipboard during practices, writing down notes and and marking habits throughout the plays. Your eyes only flashed to Suna when necessary. When he did catch your eye, you felt it like a stab at your chest; a gash torn through your heart. He didn’t even notice you looking now, when he used to feel your eyes on him so easily. He didn’t spare you a thought now.

You handed Atsumu a water bottle during break, but instead of his usual grin, his face contorted into one of concern. His brown eyes narrowing quizzically. “Y/N, Have ya been sleeping at all?”

You smiled shakily, shrugging and offering Osamu a towel as he approached the conversation. “I try to, but it’s a bit difficult. I’ve got a lot going on, y’know?”

Osamu glanced at Atsumu slyly, arching a brow at you. “Oh yeah?” He inquired, head cocked sideways. “What does Suna think of all this?”

They could see the way you tensed, the way your eyes flashed with a pang of sadness. Emptiness. “Rin’s been busy,” you murmured simply, offering a shrug you’d hoped might ease the edge off your explanation.

“Well yeah, we all are, but he can’t see what goin’ on with ya?” Atsumu tried again, crossing his arms against his chest.

“It’s nothing, Atsumu. Like you said, we’re all busy - it’s nothing.” You tried to reassure, but it sounded more like you were convincing yourself. Maybe it was the exhaustion, or the sudden tight feeling in the air from the conversation at hand, but you hadn’t noticed your boyfriend’s approaching presence.

He walked up alongside Osamu, a halfway gone water bottle in his hands. “What’s nothing?” Suna inquired, looking between the twins. You didn’t speak, instead you stood there, waiting for some sort of acknowledgement from him. The last time you’d spoken had been fleetingly in the hallways. He only spared you an upturned corner of his lip.

“Don’t worry about it, Rin, it’s really not important.” Your words were quick, a rush to get them out before one of the twins could say anything. You forced a sweet smile, glancing down at your clipboard, “Break is almost over.” Those were your departing words, swiveling on your heel and starting off back towards the coach.

Suna turned a curious glance to the twins, silently asking his question again. Osamu pressed his lips together tightly, very clearly conflicted. Atsumu was anything but. “She’s fading, Suna. Yer girl’s exhausted. How can you not tell?”

Suna’s amber eyes flashed to you, but you weren’t looking at him. He couldn’t see your face. “If it was that serious, she would tell me.” He said simply, shrugging a bit and taking a sip of his water. She would. Right.

“How can she tell ya if yer too busy for her?” Atsumu retorted, maybe a little too harshly. Confusion etched the delicately sharp planes of Suna’s face.

“Too busy?” He peered again over his shoulder, half hoping you would look at him. You didn’t. “Is that what told you?”

Osamu finally spoke, looking between his twin and the middle blocker, “Look - how is it that you’re in a relationship and you don’t even notice when yer girl’s falling apart?”

Suna’s jaw tightened at Osamu’s interference, he’d never been fond of the gray haired twin’s input when it came to his relationship. This was no different. “Why don’t you mind your business, alright? If it bugged Y/N, she would tell me.”

_____________________________

Suna settled into your car with an awkward silence.Your hands seemed to grip the wheel so hard your knuckles were white. Fuck, now that he was seeing you up close, he could see the sickly palor coloring your skin. The deep shadows under your eyes. The way you were running on empty was so clear. He hadn’t noticed. Hadn’t taken the time to see the way you were running yourself into the ground. You were hardly a block away from school before he tried to speak.

“Y/N-”

“I think we should break up.”

His breath caught in his throat. He never thought you would say those words to him. Never imagined that you would be the one to put distance between the two of you. “What?” His eyes snapped to you, soaking you in for the first time in months. Truly seeing you. Missing you now that you were slipping. “Why?”

You sighed, and he could hear just how shaky it sounded. “I’m tired of being in a relationship by myself. I’m the only one here. You’re a ghost, Suna.” Suna. Not Rin. Not even Rintarō. Fuck. FUCK. Your voice wavered with emotion, and though he knew he should be looking at you, he couldn’t bring himself to look at you and see your tears. “I can’t keep this up. I have too much to deal with and I can’t keep myself open and waiting for someone whose never going to be there.”

It felt like you were splashing cold water on him. Like he was finally sobering up after being drunk for so long. He hated the feeling. The cold, biting clarity that came from realizing your mistakes a second too late.

“Please don’t do this.” He bit out. Fuck. He felt like he was suffocating and the way his eyes stung gave away every indication that this was too real.

“Suna-”

“I’m Rin. You call me Rin,” The brown haired boy pleaded, turning to you. But you were turning onto his street.

“Suna.” You said finally, parking outside of his house and shifting to face him. “I love you. So fucking much.” Part of him hoped this would give him a chance, something to work with - to fix this. But you didn’t give him the opening he needed. “But it’s exhausting to love someone who can never love you back. Who isn’t there. I can’t keep loving a ghost.”

You unlocked the car door. He got out. You waited until he went inside, but as he turned desperately one last time to look at you, you were looking away.

#suna x reader #haikyuu #suna angst #suna fluff #suna x y/n #suna rintarō #suna #haikyuu suna #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu angst

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oscar-lettjohanssonloveme · 3 years

Text

Cherry Wine (Miss Venable x reader)

well..hi :) i guess we have trash in this fanfic, but pls listen to “Cherry Wine” by Hozier while u r reading this, coz this is another song fanfic haha

warnings: toxic relationship, bruises, abusive gf,..

google translate

If you had to describe what was most beautiful thing in your relationship, you wouldn't have to think twice:

There was nothing better for you than waking up next to her on the weekend.

That probably sounds pretty cheesy, but actually it was sad.

Waking up next to your sleeping girlfriend in the morning was everything for you and if you sometimes doubted your relationship it was enough to kill all of your doubts.

Beep Beep Beep

You blinked sleepily and quickly reached under your pillow to turn off your alarm clock. No way, did you want her to wake up because of you.

For a few seconds you lay quietly on your back with your eyes closed, afraid that your alarm clock might have woken her after all. But there was nothing ..

Before you opened your eyes, you focused on the things you were perceiving as you always did to ground yourself.

You felt the bed beneath you, the disgusting taste in your mouth and through your closed eyelids you could feel the light that shone in through the curtains. And then of course you felt her.

You could hear her breathing, you smelled her lavender perfume and then there was her arm around your waist. Her cool fingers had wandered under your t-shirt at night and were now caressing the bruises she had inflicted on you the day before, when you had once again not done the things the way she wanted.

--------------

Her eyes and words are so icy Oh but she burns Like rum on the fire Hot and fast and angry as she can be I walk my days on a wire.

You winced when the front door slammed loudly.

"Mina .." you shouted happily and quickly wiped your hands on your shirt before running into the hallway to greet your girlfriend.

"How was your day, honey?", You stared at her nervously and watched her as she hung her coat on the cloakroom. She was obviously not in a good mood.

"Is everything okay Mina? You look-"

"Didn't I tell you to clean up the hallway?" She hissed and glared at you menacingly.

You raised your hand soothingly

"I do it after dinner .. My boss wanted to speak to me in his office after work today and I just got home.. I've only just started to cook .."

"You could have cleaned up this morning .." she scolded as she got closer and let you stagger backwards.

"And what did your disabled boss want from you?"

"I..Uhm he..I mean..he .." you stuttered.

"Jesus, Y / N ..", she spat and rolled her eyes in annoyance.

Fearful you looked up into her eyes, which stared dangerously down at you. You couldn't tell her that, she would be so angry.

"He saw the bruises and asked if everything was okay with you and me.." you uttered and closed your eyes.

The next sound you heard was a loud clap and not a second later you felt a sharp pain in your left cheek.

"Mina ..", you gasped and lifted your eyes trembling at her. Tears welled up in your eyes.

"Stop crying, Y / N .." she hissed and looked at you condescendingly.

"Our private life is none of this asshole's business .."

You nodded quickly as you rubbed your cheek.

"I told him I fell down the stairs .."

"Good girl.."

It looks ugly, but it's clean, Oh momma, don't fuss over me.

--------------------

You opened your eyes and stared at the white ceiling for a moment. You just wanted to be her good girl, that's all ... why was it so hard?

As carefully as possible, you turned your body on its side to face her. She was so beautiful.

Her long red hair was disheveled and reflected the light of the morning sun. You wanted so much to reach out a hand to brush the stray hair from her face, but then she would wake up because of you and all the rest would be over. You even set an alarm clock to watch her asleep.

------------------

"See you then, Mina .." you mumbled before running towards the front door as quickly as possible.

"Where do you think you're going?", Her voice sounded shrill and you heard her limping into the hallway behind you.

"It's Jessica's birthday today .." you said quickly as you turned around.

"We talked about it yesterday .."

Mina frowned.

"I don't remember that .."

"I even put it in the calendar .." you tried further and looked nervously at your watch.

"Mina, I really have to go ... I'm way too late .."

"I actually thought we could spend the night together.." she said, suddenly sounding sad. Immediately you felt guilty.

"You know, we could watch a movie, for once I could cook for you again and we haven't had sex for weeks .."

You stared at her. She always did that at moments like this. And you lovesick idiot craved her affection so badly.

"Please Y / N .." she said and smiled gently at you.

Damn she knew you too good ... you would kill for that smile. Everything you did for her, you did just because you wanted to see her smile. It made you so fucking happy.

"I think I can call Jessica and tell her I'm sick or something .." you mumbled and immediately hated yourself for it. Jessica was your best friend.

--------------------

Of course, you remembered the next day when you saw Jessica at work and she was incredibly angry. It was no secret that Jessica hated Mina. She said Mina wouldn't do you any good, but Jessica had no idea. Mina loved you, you knew that. She was just very complicated.

Your eyes traveled from Mina's hair to her face. She always looked so peaceful when she slept. Any harshness, all the severity had escaped from her face and she looked almost harmless.

But you knew better and sometimes you wondered how you got into this disaster.

You remembered the evening when your cousin dragged you to that party at work and you met Mina. Her dominance intimidated you and you fell in love with her immediately. Your cousin, who has not worked at kineros robotics for a long time, had advised you not to mess with her boss, but you couldn't help it.

You winced when her hand suddenly gripped your waist tightly and she pulled you closer to her. Usually you liked that, but now her hand was pressing against your fresh bruises and making you shiver. You let out a low whimper as tears stung your eyes and immediately you clapped your hand over your mouth.

The way she tells me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

---------------

"Okay, what's your problem?" She scolded and hobbled into the living room when you had ignored her calls.

You sat on the sofa and played with the pillow in your lap.

"We have been living together for 2 years and have known each other for 4 .." you said without looking at her. Mina frowned.

"So what?"

You lifted your eyes and looked at her sadly.

"Why the hell did you tell your stupid secretary I was your flatmate ?? Are you kidding me?"

"My private life is none of my employees' business .." said Mina, who raised an eyebrow at your aggressive tone.

"Then you shouldn't have taken me to your stupid New Years party .." you growled and stood up.

"Am I just a flatmate? I mean, do flatmates fuck like we do? Do flatmates share a bed? Do they-"

"Be careful, Y / N ..", Mina hissed and stared at you dangerously.

"I think someone drank a little bit too much."

"Fuck you .." you mumbled.

"I go to Jessica .."

You tried to walk past her, but she grabbed your neck and pressed you against the back of the sofa. While she held your chin between her thumb and forefinger, the rest of her hand pressed against your neck and cut off your air. And while you stared at her in fear, you didn't know which was worse: the feeling of choking at any moment or the feeling that your jaw was about to break.

"You listen to me well now..", Mina spat and let the grip around your neck tighten a little. Desperately you gasped for air.

"Who owns the house? I do. Who brings the most money home? I do. Who paid for the ugly clothes you're wearing right now? I did.

You can go if you want, but if you do, you don't need to come back .. Besides, where should you be able to go? Your parents hate you, Jessica hates you .. And should you really decide to go, I'll make sure that everyone else hates you too .. You know that I can do that ... "she threatened. You heard her words but only million miles away, you were too focused on breathing.

"Mina please .." you gasped as your vision became blurred. It was too much.

"You're really pathetic .." she spat before finally letting go of your throat and you immediately gasped for air.

While you held on to the sofa, panting, your other hand rubbed your jaw. It almost felt like she broke it. Your gaze wandered carefully to Mina, who leaned on the stick with both hands and glared at you angrily.

Calls of guilty thrown at me All while she stains The sheets of some other Thrown at me so powerfully Just like she throws with the arm of her brother.

You just stared at each other for a moment before she grabbed your arm and pulled you into the kitchen, which you two had left untidy.

No, which YOU left untidy.

She let go of your arm in the door frame and left you there as she walked past you into the kitchen.

"Do you see this mess?" She barked and you nodded quickly.

"Who made this mess?"

"I .." you mumbled quietly.

"I can't hear you .." she hissed and raised her eyebrows.

"I .. "you repeated out loud, nervously rubbing your aching arm.

"Yes, exactly you .." she scolded and made you flinch when she threw a plate on the floor and it shattered into a thousand pieces.

"YOUR chaos in MY house ..", another plate flew on the floor.

"YOU live on MY money ..", this time it was a cup.

"And YOU are MY girlfriend and not the other way around and if I think it's right to keep that to myself, then that's my damn decision ..." she screamed, her jaw trembling.

You just stared at her and didn't dare to move when she suddenly grabbed a glass and threw it at you before it splintered on the door frame next to you. Immediately you woke up from your stupor and let out a little scream, before you turned around and ran into the bathroom to lock the door behind you.

Breathe Y / N, breathe

You pressed your back against the bathroom door and slid down the wood. Your hands caught in your hair as you pulled your knees up to your chest and began to sob softly into your jeans.

That damn glass was supposed to hit you ..

Mina had already done a lot to you, hit you, choked you, spat on you, but this glass broke right next to your head. The broken pieces could have hit your eyes.

You didn't understand what her problem was .. You loved Mina so much and all you wanted was to see her smile, but apparently you always made things worse.

At some point your crying had calmed down and you could breathe again.

You closed your eyes and focused again on the things you were feeling. You could feel the wooden door on your back while your fingers dug into the soft carpet. In your mouth it tasted like the salt of your tears and you smelled the air freshener in the bathroom. In the end there was only what you heard, but there was nothing, just silence.

You pressed your ear against the bathroom door, but you couldn't hear anything. You'd probably been sitting here for hours and Mina went to bed.

You stood carefully up with shaky legs and lean on the bathtub.

When you stood, you couldn't help but look in the mirror.

Holy shit

You looked like shit. Your hair was disheveled, the elaborate make-up had run and then there were those dark spots on your jaw and neck. There she had marked you ..

But I want it It's a crime That she's not around most of the time. The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine Blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

You carefully stretched your fingers towards the bruises, only to regret it straight away as pain twitched through your body. Your hand slid down to grab the cool handle of the sink and then turn it up. Cold water splashed into your hand and you bent down to wash your face. Which turned out to be relatively difficult because you had to avoid your jaw. After washing your face, you grabbed the brush to comb your hair. Satisfied, you found that you only looked half as bad as you did a few minutes ago.

As you stepped out into the hallway you immediately noticed that all the lights were off and still you couldn't hear anything ... She had actually gone to bed. You didn't have to think twice when you decided to go back into the living room to sleep on the couch.

You carefully lay on your side and pulled the soft wool blanket over you.

You had no idea what time it was, you didn't really care. All you wanted was to sleep, even though you were terrified of waking up the next morning.

You were already half asleep when you heard the tap of her stick in the hallway. Immediately you opened your eyes again and pulled the covers a little tighter to your shoulders.

"Y / N?" You heard her voice softly from the hallway and you began to shiver slightly. She didn't sound like the Mina who had thrown the glass at her earlier.

"Are you awake?", She tried again and suddenly switched on the light in the hallway.

She stepped into the living room and saw you lying on the sofa. You ignored her and stared at the bookshelf opposite the sofa.

"Why aren't you in bed?" She asked as she sat on the edge of the sofa and put a hand on your thigh, which made you wince.

"I didn't want to .." you muttered, still staring at the bookcase.

"I am so so sorry .." you heard her whisper. You carefully directed your gaze to her and met her worried eyes.

"You always say that afterwards .." you replied courageously and sat up. Mina stared at the bruises on your jaw. She carefully raised her hand to your jaw and ran her fingers over it. You closed your eyes and took a deep breath. At any moment her grip could be get firmer again.

"Does it hurt?" She asked softly.

"Only when you touch it .."

Immediately her hand jerked back into her lap.

"I..uhm..wait here for a moment .."

You watched her get up and walk out of the room only to come back a minute later with a jar in hand.

You frowned in confusion when she sat down next to you again and you realized that the jar was the lotion for her back.

"I thought it might help your bruises too .." she explained when she noticed your confusion. You didn't answer and watched as she took the lid off the jar and applied some of the lotion to her fingers.

"May I..?" She asked as she reached out her hand to your jaw again. You nodded slowly and she carefully began to spread the lotion on your abused skin. Your eyes never left hers and you wondered why she was just this way to you when she apologized or when she wanted something from you.

You wanted her to always be like that to you and you would work so much for it that it was like that at some point.

Her fight and fury is fiery Oh but she loves Like sleep to the freezing Sweet and right and merciful I'm all but washed In the tide of her breathing.

"Do you forgive me?" She asked, putting her hand on your cheek. You automatically leaned into her touch and wished you could do something like that more often.

"Of course I do .." you said and smiled gently.

..Like I always do

--------------------

"Hello princess ..", her sleepy voice purred in your ear and she hugged you a little tighter.

You carefully turned your head towards her to stare straight into her brown eyes.

If the eyes really were the gate to the soul, then this gate seemed to be closed. No matter how many times you looked for answers in her eyes, you would never find an explanation for her behavior. Often you saw fire, poison and cold in her eyes at the same time and then there were moments like this when you couldn't see any of the hate, just love.

"Did I wake you up?" You whispered and were scared for a moment, but she quickly shook her head.

"No..You know, I dreamed of you, princess .." she smiled as she started to play with your hair.

"Oh yes?"

"Mhm .." she hummed and began to press gentle kisses against your face.

"We were on the beach in Italy .."

"Italy .." you repeated with closed eyes and tried to suppress the tears that welled up in you. It was all so contradicting itself. While one hand gently scratched your scalp, the other was still squeezing the bruises on your waist.

Yesterday she had yelled at you and told you, how ungrateful you were and this morning she told you, that she had dreamed of you and was so lovely with you.

It was like having a relationship with two people at the same time. And you knew that she was breaking you more and more every day. But you could never leave her, she had put you under her spell and you were like cement in her hands

And it's worth it, it's divine I have this some of the time

If you had to describe what was most beautiful in your relationship, you wouldn't have to think twice:

There was nothing better for you than waking up next to her on the weekend.

Because no matter how angry she was the night before, she would always be gentle with you in the morning and that was the only thing you wanted.

The way she shows me I'm hers and she is mine Open hand or closed fist would be fine The blood is rare and sweet as cherry wine.

#wilhemina venable x reader #sarah paulson x reader #wilhemina venable #american horror story

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vikingqueer · 3 years

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music recommendations because i have some thoughts™

i don't wanna be that person who's like "my music taste is so weird lol" but i find that very often most of my friends don't really care for the music i like so i thought i'd just make a long ass post about it on tumblr instead. Fair warning, I'm very passionate about MIKA and The Mechanisms and so this very quickly got VERY long because it is part of my ongoing campaign to convince people to listen to mika and the mechs.

1) MIKA in general, but especially My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019) and No Place In Heaven (2015) (especially the Deluxe version!!)

MIKA is a kind of British singer (half Lebanese, grew up in France blabla), and you probably know him for Grace Kelly and Relax, Take It Easy from his first album Life In Cartoon Motion from 2007. He writes a lot of FUN music, interspersed with the occasional slightly sadder song, especially when looking at an album like No Place In Heaven, which contains a lot of songs with gay themes, resulting in some songs that are just a little bit ouch. He's originally classically trained and has a frankly RIDICULOUS range and idk he just writes very good pop music. Also I have so much respect for that time he talked about how a lot of pop is very fake, with like expensive cars and stilettos and mini skirts in the snow and said "Because I walk down the street, and I don't see any of that. I see fat women and gay men. I don't know... That's real". He's written 5 albums; My Name Is Michael Holbrook (2019), No Place In Heaven (2015), The Origin Of Love (2012), The Boy Who Knew Too Much (2009), and Life In Cartoon Motion (2007).

For starters, I recommend listening to Last Party, Origin Of Love, Grace Kelly, Blame It On The Girls, Blue, Happy Ending, Pick Up Off The Floor, Last Party, Underwater, Tomorrow and Tiny Love (yes this is a long list but i REALLY love MIKA). If you want a slightly broader palette that's not just my favourites, I recommend the Mika starter pack on spotify.

2) The Mechanisms. I warn you. I am making this a thing. I have been obsessed with the mechs since last march.

Boy, where to start? The Mechanisms were a British 9 member space pirate story-telling cabaret that "died" in January 2020. They rewrite songs to fit retellings of various stories. I don't even know what genre I'd describe them as, but probably folk but steam-punk?? Their 4 "main" albums are concept albums, and I honestly just recommend listening to the from beginning to end in chronological order. A good way to get into the mechs is also to listen to UDAD and then watching the live show on youtube or alternately try giving Death To The Mechanisms a listen, to get good quality live show audio of TBI and various other stuff. Also, it was streamed on YouTube and someone combined the footage with the album audio and it rocks. Really, I think the mechs' best selling points are honestly just their concept albums:

Once Upon a Time (In Space) Their first album from 2012. I'd say this is the most "easily digestible" for the general public, since it's a retelling of various fairytales. So, what if Old King Cole was in fact not merry, but rather a cold-blooded dictator, intent on colonising as much of the galaxy as possible. What if Snow White was a general, looking to avenge what King Cole did to her sister, Rose. What if Cinderella was to be wedded to Rose the day that King Cole attacked in order to kidnap Rose? But y'know, In Space and also like every other mechs album it's a beautiful tragedy. Fave songs are Old King Cole, Pump Shanty, and No Happy Ending.

Ulysses Dies at Dawn You guessed it, it's a story about Odysseus, or Ulysses because I guess Ulysses is easier to rhyme or fit in the meter or something, idk. Ulysses is a war hero of unknown gender who is said to keep something that could take down the corrupt Olympians, meanest families in the City, in a vault to which only they know the passcode. Oedipus, Heracles, Orpheus, and Ariadne have been hired by Hades, who happens to be The Mechs' quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, to get into Ulysses' vault. I didn't care much for udad at first, but honestly it's got some real bangers and the story is really good. UDAD weirdly stands out as the only of the concept albums to not feature any gay relationships, per se. Fave songs are Riddle of the Sphinx, Favoured Son, and Underworld Blues.

High Noon over Camelot This is my favourite mehcs album. So basically, this is Arthurian legend, but it's a space western and Jonny D'Ville does a bad southern accent. This is the story of the cowboy lovers Arther, Lancelot, and Guinevere searching for the Galfridian Restricted Acces Interface Login, or GRAIL, in order to stop their world from falling into the sun. Meanwhile, Mordred and Gawaine are ruling Camelot, and Mordred has convinced Gawaine to try to establish peace with the Saxons by whom Mordred was raised, but Gawaine hates viciously. If you love getting your heart broken and songs by a fucking off the rails batshit preacher I HIGHLY recommend hnoc. Fave songs are Gunfight at the Dolorous Guard, Blood and Whiskey, and Once and Future King. Honorary mention for Hellfire because it awakens something animalistic in me.

The Bifrost Incident TBI is the frankly only good adaptation of norse mythology I've ever known of, and I say that as Dane who was literally forced to learn things about norse mythology in school because it's my heritage or whatever. I've been listening to TBI a lot lately because it's VERY good. It's definitely the most refined of the mechs' albums (because it's the newest) but also I just love a little bit of cosmic horror. 80 years ago, Odin, the All-Mother, ruler of Asgaard, launched a train through the wormhole Bifrost that would reduce the travel between Asgaard and Midgaard from 3 months to 3 days, but things didn't go quite as planned. Lyfrassir Edda of the New Midgaard Transport Police is trying to solve the case of why suddenly the train has arrived 80 years late; to figure out whether it was accident or maybe it was sabotaged by Loki, who was allegedly sentence to death her murder of Baldur, by the Midgaardian resistance led by Loki's wife Sigyn, or maybe by Thor, who was to take over after Odin, and who holds quite the grudge because he used to be a friend of Loki's. You might've heard the song Thor from this album, it's apparently quite popular. Fave songs are Loki, Ragnarok III: Strange Meeting, and Ragnarok V: End of The Line. Yet again an honorary mention: Red Signal because while Lovecraft was a bitch, his invocations are fucking RAW.

Basically, the Mechanisms do all of their performances in character as captain first mate Jonny D'Ville, quartermaster Ashes O'Reilly, pilot DrumBot Brian, master-at-arms Gunpowder Tim, science officer Raphaella la Cognizi, doctor Baron Marius Von Raum (neither a baron, nor a doctor), archivist Ivy Alexandria, engineer Nastya Rasputina, and The Toy Soldier, who is, as usual, present. You can find very obscure lore about the crew of the Aurora here, tidbits on Tales To Be Told and TTBT Vol. 2, such as One Eyed Jacks, The Ignominious Demise of Dr. Pilchard, Gunpowder Tim vs. The Moon Kaiser, Lucky Sevens, and Lost in the Cosmos.

If you feel like listening to a full 40-50 minute album to find out if you like a band is a bit much, I recommend listening to one of the mini stories Alice, Swan Song, or Frankenstein, which are about 12, 5 and 9:30 minutes respectively.

3) The Amazing Devil You know that guy who played Jaskier in the Witcher? I got into The Amazing Devil from spotify recommending them because I listened to the mechs, and apparently Joey Batey from The Amazing Devil is the same Joey Batey who was in the Witcher. Both him and Madeleine Hyland are VERY talented singers and songwriters and their second album The Horror and the Wild makes me go out into the forest and SCREAM. I listened to it on repeat for like a month straight. I guess they'd also be considered folk, but like. New Folk. Also yes, this is another British artist, I don't know why I'm like this. I've never really gotten that into their first album, Love Run, but King slaps. As I understand there's this whole lore about the Blue Furious Boy and Scarlet Scarlet, Joey and Madeleine respectively, but unlike the Mechanisms it's actually possible to find out things about the actual real people and harder to find the obscure lore? I'm open for people to please help me. Fave songs are The Horror and the Wild, Farewell Wanderlust, and That Unwanted Animal, which is literally a third of their second album, but again. I haven't really listened to Love Run that much, and I just LOVE the harmonies on THATW. (also im gay and dramatic leave me alone)

4) dodie I have so much love for this woman. Like many others, I first knew dodie as doddleoddle on youtube. I think I first stumbled across her in probably 2015, because I distinctly already knew her before she released her first EP Sick of Losing Soulmates in 2016. I think I watched probably every video she's ever made in the span of a few weeks. I just loved her quiet sound and was absolutely HOOKED. Also she's actually the reason I got into MIKA originally, so thanks for that. Dodie just realeased her first album Build A Problem (in addition to her three EP's; the one mentioned above, You, and Human) and it slaps. Yes dodie is also British Fave songs are probably Monster, Rainbow, and In The Middle.

5) Cladia Boleyn Unfortunately, Claudia Boleyn only has three singles and that's it. She's been making content on youtube for quite a while, and that's how I first discovered her. I don't know what genre her music is, but I like it. The songs are Celesta, George, and Mother Maiden Crone, of which the latter is my favourite. I'm not saying Claudia Boleyn invented women in 2017 when she released Mother Maiden Crone, but she did. Also you guessed it, Claudia Boleyn is British.

6) Hozier I'm not about to tell you about Hozier. You know who he is. Listen to Nina Cried Power, Angel Of Small Death & The Codeine Scene, and Shrike. Also Hozier isn't stricly British in that he is definitely from A British Isle, but Ireland is not part of the UK. Give me a break.

7) Oh Land Oh Land IS DANISH. I like her early music best, because I'm not that into the electronic sound. I guess Oh Land is just you regular old pop, but with the occasional weird vibe? Oddly enough, I like her first album Fauna best. Unfortunately I haven't really listened to her newest album Family Tree much, but it seems good? Fave songs are Frostbite, Love You Better and Family Tree. I cried on the bus, first time I listened to the Danish version of Love You Better, Elsker Dig Mer because my mother tongue always just hits harder. Also Frostbite is Oh Land doing a duet with herself which is pretty cool.

8) Oysterband This is a live recommendation. I mean they're a decent folk band and all, but they're a fucking experience live. If you like folk and you ever get the opportunity to see Oysterband live, do it. Unfortunately, yes. They are British. Either way, they are incredible on a scene and I think they deserve a mention for that.

9) Ben Platt Honestly don't know much about this guy, but he's not British and he was in Dear Evan Hansen. He released an album in 2019, Sing To Me Instead, and I just think it's a good album, there isn't really not much more to it. Fave songs are Grow As We Go, Bad Habit, and In Case You Don't Live Forever.

and thats all for now. this has been a ramble. shout out to you if you actually read all of this, especially the mechs part.

#music stuff #amalie.txt #music recommendations #mika #the mechanisms #the amazing devil #dodie #claudia boleyn #hozier #oh land #oysterband #ben platt

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rainydayhogwartsimagines · 3 years

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You summoned us, and here I come with a Fred Weasley request:) So I was thinking Weasley twins are reader’s best friends, and Freddie in the reader’s dorm going through her/their suitcase, finding some muggle stuff that she’s or suppose to have due to Umbridge’s stupid restrictions. And he finds multiple things that she likes from her muggle life and along those things there’s like an ipod or something with muggle music, so they end up dancing to some song (Patti smith?) and confessing feelings?

You were a mess, your hair in the bun that Fred found to be hilariously adorable but you described it as you looking like a crack whore. You were panicked though, saying that Umbridge dropped a massive exam on you with no warning tomorrow and you needed to study.

So he and George decided to supervise your spontaneous study session. They were quiet, sure to not disrupt you. However they did ask you to take breaks by the hour. Well you were on hour six. And you rejected the last three break requests.

Fred sighed. "Y/n you need to take a break." He said. "no." You said. "Yes." He sighed. "Y/n. Break. Now." George huffed. "No." You repeated. "Y/n. You haven't eaten. You haven't taken a break in the last three hours, come on. At least take a nap or something." George said. "Would you like to hear it in German? Nein." You snapped. "I'm at least getting you food. Fred, get the damn girl to take a breather." George said, leaving you two alone.

"he's right you know." Fred said. "I don't care." You sighed. Fred sighed. "Can I at least help with something? At least George had a reason to get up." Fred said. "You can leave me alone to study!" You groaned. "No because if I do that you won't take care of yourself." Fred said. "Fred--" you turned to look at him and he had this concerned look on his face. "...Alright... I'll take a break." You sighed. He smiled and you stood up, stretching. "How do you even take breaks when we're not here?" Fred asked. "Usually play something on my record player." You shrugged. Fred rose a brow. "Whatcha got?" He asked. You opened your closet door, kneeling to the small record player and a box next to it.

"let's see... I've got the Beatles, AC/DC, some jazz, a couple of classical records, Hozier--" "Who's Hozier?" Fred asked. "Hozier it is." You said before putting the record on. The familiar guitar played softly and Fred rose a brow. "is it odd to say this reminds me of Luna?" He asked. "How do you think I discovered it?" You asked with a smile. Fred chuckled and you sat back down.

"Nope. Y/n, you've been sitting in the same spot for hours, stand up." He said. "But--" "Up." He said. You stood up with sigh and he extended his hand out. "May I have this dance, milady?" He asked, earning a snort from you. "Okay weirdo." You laughed. He pulled you close, holding your hand and keeping one hand on your waist. "So... How has your week gone?" Fred asked. "aside from my teacher driving me to the brink of insanity? Meh. I've been better." You said. Fred chuckled and you smiled. "I like to hear you laugh, y'know." You said.

He smiled. "Oh really?" He asked. "Yeah. It's nice. " You said. He cleared his throat still holding you close. "Y/n uhm..." He cleared his throat again. "...Uhm... Am I stepping on you?" You asked confused. "No... I just wanted to say.. I love... Spending time with you." He said. "I love spending time with you too." You said. "And..I.." he cleared his throat, you looking up at him. "...I love you." He said. You blinked. "...I love you too Fred." You said. "I love you... As more than... A friend." He added. You looked up, slightly shocked. "Fred I--"

"alright so I got cookies, some chocolate, chicken and a house elf is aware of the surprise exam so the elves are going to--.... The fuck did I walk in on?" George asked. You and Fred let go of each other. "Uhm... Well I... I need some air so..." You said before leaving. "...But I got her cookies man." George groaned.

Fred sighed, running his fingers through his hair in the great hall. "Why on Earth did I admit that to her? She probably thinks I've gone mad." Fred groaned. "Or that you don't mean it." Angelina said. "What?" Fred asked. "Come on Fred. You said 'I love you' and then haven't talked to her in three days." Angelina pointed out. "I say Fred's playing it right." Lee said. "Thank you Lee." Fred sighed. "How on Earth is he playing this right?" Angelina asked. "Y/n was the one that took off. She might need space. Clear her head. Think about this. Plus, Fred did say he told her during a study break." Lee explained. "What does the study break have to do with this?" George asked. "We all know how focused she gets. Maybe Fred threw her off. Plus, she took an exam that isn't going to get graded. She's probably driven herself mad." Lee said. "Wait, what do you mean it's not getting graded?" Angelina asked. "Umbridge was fired for harming a student. Damn woman finally snapped." Lee said. "Well Y/n must be--" you say down at the table surprising everyone. Your eyes had dark bags under them. "I just found out that I studied for nothing. And I haven't slept in almost four days." You grumbled. "What in Merlin's Beard would keep you awake for four days!?" Lee asked. "Fred!" You groaned. "Me?" Fred asked confused. "You! You blithering idiot!" You said with a groan. "I didn't sleep after your damn confession! I put your name as a fucking test answer, I have been trying to think of anything other than you and it doesn't work! You broke me Weasley!" You said. "I broke you?" Fred asked, Lee holding in a laugh as he did. "Yes! What the hell were you thinking, confessing your feelings A) during a study break, B) After I crammed my head chalk full of information on pixies and werewolves, and C) right before what was supposed to be a big test!?" You asked. " I didn't realize I affected you that badly." Fred admitted. "Are you kidding me!? Are you actually joking!? You're stupid red hair has been on my mind for DAYS! I swear to God I've reached the hallucination part of sleep deprivation because I am seeing you EVERYWHERE." You said. "Okay! Okay Y/n, calm down--" "Don't tell me what to do Lee." You snapped, eyes wild as you did causing Lee to jump back.

Fred paused looking at you. "Y/n come with me real quick." He said. He got up, taking your arm and dragging you back to your dorm. He closed the door and turned around. "Go to bed you insane woman." He told you. You blinked. "Oh hell no. Not until you listen!" You said. He sighed. "Alright. I'm listening." He said. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since our third year. You almost broke your leg from a fall in quidditch and I sprinted over and you had this stupid grin on your face. I was freaking out and all you did was lean up, put your hand on my cheek and said 'thanks for being here Love.' before taking off again." You explained. "When you disappeared for three days I get that you were giving me space Fred, but I felt like you were taking off again." You muttered. "I didn't mean to make you feel that way princess." He said softly. "I want you to feel like you can be yourself with me. And I want you to voice your problems. Y/n I really do love you." He said. "I love you too Fred." You said. He smiled and you hugged him. He kissed your head and noticed a sudden lack of movement.

He pulled away slightly to see you passed out against him. He snorted slightly but lifted you up and laying you down in your bed. He turned off your light and began to leave before he felt your hand grab his. "stay" you whispered. He smiled and laid down next to you.

Taglist: @amhyeah @newtaholic-staygold @bbeauttyybbx @fleurho @yodeadxss @mariah-can-dream

#fred weasley x you #fred weasley x reader #fred weasley

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terrainofheartfelt · 3 years

Text

"It's you, it couldn't be awful"

A Playlist For Dair Appreciation Week, Day 7 - Fave Quotes & Lyrics

I haven’t the faintest idea how to make gifs (seriously I think all of you are witches) so I made this playlist, because there is nothing I love more than scrolling through my spotify library and just projecting all over it.

Track listings and links with opinions & lyrics under the cut, because this thing is long, because I have no restraint.

(Note: I intentionally left off all tswift bc if I didn’t, we’d be here all day)

Section 1: The Bops

Little of Your Love - HAIM

A bop that embodies the energy of the 4b arc, and an energy of “Oh for crying out loud, Humphrey”

You’re just another recovering heart / I wasn’t even gonna try / you wouldn’t even give the time

Stop runnin’ your mouth like that / ‘cause you know I’m gonna give it right back

Hate That You Know Me - Bleachers

It’s “You owe me ten / You owe me twenty!” & “I was hoping it would go away / I was humiliated” & basically all of While You Weren’t Sleeping, tbh

Some days I, I wish that I wasn't myself / No luck! / And I hate that you know me so well

I Like Me Better - Lauv

Heavily featured in all y’all’s gifsets—and rightfully so!!! It’s also like the perfect counter to the previous song.

To not know who I am but still know that I'm good long as you're here with me

Sweet Talk - Saint Motel

It’s about Blair roasting Dan for filth and him being completely charmed by it.

when you laugh / I forget that it's about me / But it's alright / Yeah, cause being your punchline / Still is something

No Reason to Run - Cold War Kids

In the perfect version of the show that lives in my head, this is the end credits song that plays as the two of them frolic in Rome.

I have evolved like a fish growing legs / Woke like a lightbulb clicked in my brain

You Make Lovin' Fun - Fleetwood Mac

The song for the couple that fucked in an elevator. Bless the work.

Sweet wonderful you / You make me happy with the things you do

No Matter What You Do - covered by Jakob Dylan and Regina Spektor

The energy is “I have a lot of affection for you but you are so annoying.” And this is the obligatory post-breakup s6 song.

No matter what in the world you do / Hey, I'll always be in love with you

Don't Take the Money - Bleachers

I see so much love for tswift on this website (valid) but I feel like the world as a whole sleeps on her collaborator Jack Antonoff bc he is brilliant and his act Bleachers has some of my favorite songs ever. Like this one. Antonoff has said before that the title phrase is more metaphorical than literal, like an idiom that means don’t take the easy way and give this up, because it’s genuine. Real “I want to have a sleepover with you” vibes.

Somebody broke me once / Love was a currency / A shimmering balance act / I think that I laughed at that

In the Morning - Nina Simone

It’s about the domesticity! And the “Our relationship is our world”! And the “we’re young and still have so much life to live so everything’s gonna be okay.” did i title a smut fic with lyrics from this song maybeso.gif

Please be patient with your life / It's only morning and you're still to live your day

This Must Be the Place - Talking Heads

This is a canon dair song bc @mysteriesofloves titled a fic after this song, them’s the rules. But for real, this is such a good one. The lyrics are intentionally scattered, a little bewildered, like “how did we get here? how did this happen? who found whom?” and finally “who cares? we found a home in each other.”

The less we say about it, the better / We'll make it up as we go along

Cleopatra in Brooklyn - Frank Turner

Chosen for the title obviously, but the lyrics capture the royal/5b arc pretty well, I think. The narrator carries this tongue-and-cheek comparison of the woman he’s singing to to Cleopatra through the whole song, comparing himself to Marc Antony, and ending with this really earnest kind of declaration. I’m obsessed with this songwriter he’s a genius please give him a listen.

These people are adjectives to your proper noun

I'll come find you when your fortunes fail you / I'll die with you when the gods desert you

Morphing into Section 2: Pure Vibes

Walking on a Dream - covered by Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

The original is by Empire of the Sun (and omigod I just realized the coincidence), but I first heard it covered by McMahon, and he’s one of my favorite musicians of ever so I just love his rendition. And this song is sort of like...about finally deciding that the reality of love with someone is so much better than the idea of it.

Thought I’d never see / The love you found in me / Now it’s changing all the time

Wake Me - Bleachers

Jack coming for my life yet again. This song is so romantic but also so melancholy? Which is such a Daniel Humphrey Vibe.

And I'd rather be sad with you / Than anywhere away from you

All I Want - Joni Mitchell

I’m a white girl with a mother who grew up in the 60s, so I love Joni. And this song is so bubbly and joyful, but it’s also about a relationship between two imperfect people and wanting it to work anyway. Big “Despicable B” vibes!

All I really want our love to do / Is to bring out the best in me / And in you, too.

Dust to Dust - The Civil Wars

A friend in undergrad got me into the Civil Wars by showing me their live videos, and they have such incredible musical chemistry - like, the synchronicity of their ensemble is so good that it even comes through on their studio recordings and it makes these simple lyrics hit SO HARD.

You're just lonely / You've been lonely too long

NFWMB - Hozier

Ok, this had to be like the first ask I ever sent @bisexualdanhumphrey bc they wrote this fantastic meta post about Hozier and Derena but I said: “consider: NFWMB is a Dair song.” And they said, “You right.” I stand by it, and that’s why this song is on this list.

If I was born as a blackthorn tree / I'd wanna be felled by you / Held by you / Fuel the pyre of your enemies

Friday I'm in Love - covered by Phoebe Bridgers

This song - especially this cover - gives such Secret Friendship Arc vibes a la the end of 4x16...the inherent romance of eating pizza and falling asleep on the couch together

Always take a big bite / It’s such a gorgeous sight / To see you eat in the middle of the night

A Case of You - Joni Mitchell

Queen Joni again. Like! I am a lonely painter / I live in a box of paints. & The “You’re the star of Dan’s book” of it all in these lyrics!

I remember that time you told me / You said “Love is touching souls” / Surely you touched mine / ‘cause part of you pours out of me / In these lines from time to time.

Longing to Belong - Eddie Vedder

This is my thinly veiled attempt to tell more people about this: a song written and performed by Pearl Jam’s Eddie Vedder on ukulele, that is actually the softest love song in the history of western music.

All my time is spent here / Longing to belong to you

Bones - Josh Record

Okay, so, that Moment on the Couch at the end of 5x02? That’s this song.

And darling, when your feet are cold / Wait up, I'm coming home / And all of you I will hold / My love will clothe your bones

Cinnamon Girl - Lana Del Rey

The song for when you reach the end of plausible deniability - One all consuming paralyzing thought & You need to go back to Brooklyn - and it scares the heck out of you.

There's things I wanna say to you, but I'll just let you live / Like if you hold me without hurting me / You'll be the first who ever did

You and Me - You + Me

You can be flawed enough but perfect for a person

Section 3: Songs for Dancing in the Kitchen with Your Lover at 1 am

Cigarettes and Coffee - Otis Redding

The “Dan and I have a real connection song.” It’s about the romance of commonplace things when they’re with the right person.

But it seemed so natural, darling / That you and I are here

I'd Be Waiting - Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats

It’s “I just want to spend the day with you” but in like, slow-dance, sexy harmonies format.

If you ever get lonely if you never did

Never My Love - covered by Jakob Dylan and Norah Jones

The “Words of Affirmation” love song they deserve, and an underrated love song from Laurel Canyon, imho

What makes you think love will end? / When you know that my whole life depends / On you

Dancing in the Dark - covered by Morgan James

Okay so these lyrics are such Dan lyrics to me, it’s charmingly self-aware and self-deprecating. And this cover by Morgan James turns this staple rock song into something ~sexy~

I'm dying for some action / I'm sick of sittin' round here trying to write this book / I need a love reaction / Come on, gimme just one look

Oh Me Oh My (I'm a Fool for You) - Aretha Franklin

They’re literally always making each other laugh! It’s about feeling safe enough to be uninhibited and unselfconscious in your joy.

To make you laugh / I would be a fool for you

I Fall in Love Too Easily - as done by Chet Baker

No one, but no one sounds as sweet or as smooth as Chet. I know it, you know it, Hozier knows it. And this song and it’s titular thesis is so Them, it’s such a central part of their respective characters, and one of the things that makes them compatible.

My heart should be well schooled / 'Cause I've been fooled in the past

For Me Formidable - Charles Aznavour

Due entirely to this fic (Part II of a god tier s4 au) This is the end credits song for their full feature length Nora Ephron romcom.

NSFW Honorable Mention: Dinner & Diatribes - Hozier

it’s the definitive “men get pegged” representation, iykyk

#dairaw21 #playlist #i may have gotten a *little* carried away...#i regret nothing #dair

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the-queer-observer · 3 years

Text

The TOXICITY of straight dating culture: Do you even realize what you teach?

A few months ago, a straight teenage girl explained her crush to me with the sentence “He’s so toxic.”

I know a 17-year-old girl with a little to no clue of how a non-toxic relationship should look like.

I started noticing a certain pattern online and in my real life too.

Now it’s a time for my first disclaimer: I am not straight myself. Nope. Not at all. Perhaps that’s why I see through it.

To this point, all I have done about this is that I have complained to some friends, got over it and went on with my life.

Today, a girl, no older than twelve, has told me about her crush on a “bad boy” and we talked about him for a second. He really did seem like what the definition of a bad boy is for tweens.

I snapped.

And here I am, writing my first tumblr post ever on this very topic.

I want to make clear, this is not an attack on those girls. This is an attack on the society, what it taught them and what it failed to teach.

The youngest girl and me, we talked about music. She said she liked “dramatic” songs and played me some of her favorites.

Disclaimer number two: I did know both the artists, but I don’t actually listen to them. The closest to mainstream music my playlists get is Take me to church by Hozier, the rest being a wide range of songs, interprets and genres from pop punk to death metal and everything in between.

I was actually surprised. One of the two artists she played for me was Billie Eilish. The beginning of the song went:

Don't be cautious, don't be kind

You committed, I'm your crime

Push my button anytime

You got your finger on the trigger

But your trigger finger's mine

The second song was by Maroon 5.

It was even worse:

So what you trying to do to me

It's like we can't stop, we're enemies

But we get along when I'm inside you, eh

You're like a drug that's killing me

I cut you out entirely

But I get so high when I'm inside you

Yeah you can start over you can run free

You can find other fish in the sea

You can pretend it's meant to be

But you can't stay away from me

I can still hear you making that sound

Taking me down rolling on the ground

You can pretend that it was me

But no, oh

I am not going to argue about whether it’s appropriate or whether she understands the lyrics the way I do. It doesn’t even matter. She understands the drama in the song. She understands it enough for me to be concerned.

There are other songs like that. There is a whole culture teaching pre-teen and teenage girls, that “they can’t get away”, romanticizing toxic people and toxic relationships, blurring the lines of consent and guess what? The girls believe it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

I texted my girlfriend and we spent some time looking for straight love-songs, celebrating healthy relationships. None of them were mainstream, but we found things like:

That the world is ugly

But you're beautiful to me

Are you thinking of me

Like I'm thinking of you

I would say I'm sorry, though

Though I really need to go

I just wanted you to know

I wanted you to know

I'm thinking of you every night, every day

(My Chemical romance)

And

Desperate for changing

Starving for truth

I'm closer to where I started

I'm chasing after you

I'm falling even more in love with you

Letting go of all I've held on to

I'm standing here until you make me move

I'm hanging by a moment here with you

Forgetting all I'm lacking

Completely incomplete

I'll take your invitation

You take all of me now

(Lifehouse)

First of all: Those are 4 extracts of songs, chosen by me to demonstrate my point and they may or may not reflect the reality, you (the reader) see: those two songs might be just an exception, but in that case this post is still not canceled, because there is enough of other correlations and causation for me to have a reason to write this.

Those songs are “dramatic”, but the drama shifts from the relationship itself and its toxicity to the circumstances and environment. My girlfriend even recommended a punk song called Ne touche pas moi (Do not touch me), which is entirely about consent.

I am not explicitly saying that the songs she played for me are bad. It’s not for me to decide.

But all Billie Eilish’ fans I ever met were in the age range between eleven and fourteen, so I am supposing that’s her target audience. As for Maroon 5, I have no idea. However, music influences us. The girl is old enough to know what kind of music she likes and wants to listen to and with the peer pressure going on there, her parents do not really have a say in what she listens to and they are not to be blamed for this.

It’s the culture.

Toxicity is not a positive trait to look for in a potential partner. Even if he is a good looking one.

Enough of music.

Do you know who the toxic crush was?

Draco Malfoy.

One of the most famous of all characters in media, famously portrayed by Tom Felton in the Harry Potter film series.

Disclaimer number four: I have a problem with the books and movies and I also have some issues with the author.

Still, I see a fandom celebrating the love of Severus Snape for Lilly Evans Potter. Except it’s not love and it’s not a crush either. It’s an obsession. One that has become so iconic, the word “Always” is one of the main symbols of Harry Potter.

It shouldn’t be.

It should have never happened.

Draco Malfoy is quite the same thing. He is a racist, a bully. He is raised to be one, sure... That’s not an excuse. He doesn’t actually have a canonical redemption arch (not counting the deleted scene from the last movie and the Cursed child). If he came up to Hermione, acknowledging his mistakes, apologizing for his behavior, then maybe. Perhaps... That’s another story though. My point is, Rowling fails to actually depict problematic characters as actually problematic, they are romanticized by her, the filmmakers, the fandom and the wider audience.

Girls are taught to be the ones to make the redemption arch happen, irl or in fiction. They are supposed to date whoever is into them, regardless of whether they like the person back, and it’s unbelievably often I see them crushing on villains and problematic people like Draco Malfoy, because they are taught, he would change for them or that they could change him.

Toxicity is not a positive trait to look for in a potential partner. Even if he is a good looking one.

Those together result in a complete lack of knowledge of how a healthy relationship should look like. That’s the case of the third girl I mentioned. Being best friends with both her and her current boyfriend, I had three points of view on their relationship. It’s only been the past few weeks, not more than two month it has shifted to a more positive, healthy relationship.

It’s not the girl’s fault. They learn what a healthy relationship is the hard way, mostly after going through a toxic one(s).

WHY?

The sentence: “I always fall for the bad guys.” lacks the essential: “because the society taught me to” part.

It’s so common.

It’s too common.

It’s not even that we wouldn’t talk about it: we do. But you celebrate it. And that is not okay and that is the reason I am typing this.

Disclaimer number 5: The gender roles in this post are based off of my observations. I do acknowledge the fact that girls can be and sometimes are the toxic person in the relationship and that the lesson boys are thought is no way better (more freeing perhaps, but not right either) . It might not be specific to the straight culture either, but again, my observations were.

I was about thirteen, when I figured out I was gay and I had to learn everything on my own. How the relationships should work out, what is healthy and what is not... I had to learn on my own because the society failed to teach me anything. I am yet to decide whether that’s better or worse than teaching the wrong one.

#lgbtq #spilled thoughts #punk #music #culture #society #feminist #teenagers #relationship #toxic is toxic #toxicity #gay girls #queer #random observations #harry potter #draco malfoy

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nunc-flore · 5 years

Text

have some concept playlists !!

chill in various moods and genres!

chill in classickal [ when music gets so good u wanna straight up eat it ]

chill in celthicc [ breeng thy begpeipe lass ]

chill in archaic [ enjoy your symposium lads ]

chill in swing [ feelin pretentious today? i got u fam ]

chill in techno [ when the world sucks. no exceptions. ]

chill in arab [ beautiful tunez from the lands of the sun ]

chill in lo-fi [ beep boop bzzt? ]

chill in medieval ballads [ smasheth thou instrumenth, brother]

chill in funk [ funk up lads]

chill in indie [ your raw tenderness starter-pack]

don’t chill in punk [ oi! oi! oi! ]

chill in 80s bops [ what is technicolor if not a digital rainbow ]

chill in norse [ Heill þú farir! heill þú aftr komir! heill þú á sinnum sér! ]

chill in soul [it’s not the waking it’s the rising // nina cried power]

chill in 70s wood-chopping jams (still a stub) [chill, man]

chill in opera [ angelic crowds chanting "he needs some milk" ]

chill in jazz (still a stub) [ sweet music playing in the dark ]

chill in 20s-to-50s music that's not jazz nor swing nor soul [dance and drink like it's the 20s y'all (please stay clear of all the nationalism and the crippling sense of collective doom, thank you) ]

chill in yeehaw [ april is the cruellest month, ain't it? ]

chill in ye olde shanty [ a-hoy captain! ]

and many more, as time goes by!

actual concept playlists

summer indie - guitar themed tracks about life and death and all that’s in between

ingenium voluntatis - r e d y e a r n i n g but make it existential. it starts well but something happens. probably society and its non-sense rules.

the apocalypse and other related catastrophes, merrily told by yours truly - the world is ending and shit is going down. but is it? are you certain this is the world and not some other unnameable thing? are you already dead? is it the apocalypse you dreamed, the one you’ve been waiting for, or is it too slow-boiled? deathly, rotting acceptance of the end of times, with a hint of child-like storytelling.

gotta go FAST - it’s 34°C. the streets are a desert. you’re 20 minutes late. run.

daydreaming on main - can we stay like this forever? lost in a neo-classical painting, full of celestial things, and symmetry, dreaming away.

dreamy drum pop - is it a dream? are you in love with a dream, in the street of some ancient, modern city, following their shadow? or are you just having a bad case of hypotension? we may never know.

an evening in beige - cruelly posh but in a classy, bitter, hollow way

ready for the lazarus pit, shaka-brah! - a collection to sell your soul to a demonic entity of your choosing to. mostly dark techno, but with a classical twist.

chillin! - or the "dude put on some good music" playlist - when you’re chilling with laid-back pals and they ask you to put on some music and you need a quick, safe, society-tolerable playlist to hit shuffle on and leave there

sweet music playing in the dark - jazz n stuff, some old gems. also, the songs quoted by Almost (Sweet Music) by Hozier.

time. - feel the flow of endless thing going by. the clock is ticking, but what the hell is time, anyway?

audiobooks!! - it’s what it says on the tin, my dudes. including: macbeth, metamorphosis, orlando, the call of cthulhu, iliade, the time machine, the tell-tale heart, the black cat, dr. jekyll and mr.hyde, pride and prejudice, black beauty, treasure island, the phantom of the opera, de profundis, frankenstein, carmilla, beowulf, dracula, the raven

fuck this, keep running - from society. from civilization. it’s just you and your ideas against the world, kid. let’s go give them hell. they will never take us alive.

oh gee golly what a disaster - oh, this is bad. // that's so sad alexa play this playlist

a witch in the woods - in the throat of the forest, whispered chants and incantations. it’s the voice of the survivors, the ones that escaped the pyre. hush now and dream.

till the end of the world and back - it’s ride or die. the cavalry's here and it's here to stay.

italian oldies - italian culture. every italian i've ever met knows every single one of these by heart somehow.

:))))))) - am i happy? am i on the edge of a mental breakdown? have i gone completly insane? gee golly! who knows

stars, who am i? - did someone say existential crisis?

personal hyperuranium - my happy, serene place. when everything is too much close your eyes and listen to this.

young punks, get off my lawn - wreaking havoc with ur gang / girl gang.

self torment - me @ myself: why r u like this

razzle dazzle jazzle - you like jazz?

knightess in a shining armor - heroines with swords, here’s to you

playlists inspired by stuff!

songs to be a flamboyant asshole to - swag walk. i blame anthony jantony crowley for this.

the mad prophet - loosely inspired by friedrich nietzsche’s theories

the star traveller - laugh hard, run fast, be kind // inspired by the thirteenth doctor

getting to it, that's not the hard part. it's letting go. - i left my heart, 3 friends, and 37 gold bars in the sierra madre // inspired by Fallout New Vegas - Dead Money

pew-pew // (i'm three ounces of whoop-ass) - "Another female operative broke into my house and attacked me." "What did she want?" "Dinner." | a killing eve playlist

les mis, les amis - those brave fellows. honestly, squad goals.

prince(ss) of verona - inspired by a theatrical performance of Romeo and Juliet, in which the prince of verona was. well. she was powerful.

can't stop, won't stop - healing boost of healthy, uplifting electro music comin your way! ispired by Overwatch’s Lúcio Correia dos Santos

chloe eliz4bet2 price m0od - hella punk but also hella sad // inspired by chloe price, from life is strange

rachel amber mood - hey i've just met you and this is crazy but heres my number so let's burn down a forest maybe // inspired by rachel amber, from life is strange

musical journeys!

a Comedy. | a musical journey. - someone falls from grace and gets thrown into the world. lands in a forest. confused, resolves to survive at any cost. killing, stealing, partying, fleeing, living. eventually, with time, discovers a gentler, happier way to live. they still throw the best parties. doing no harm, taking no shit.

calliope bae gimme a hand wouldn't ya: a musical journey - a tale of poets: young tragedies and cursed gods; laughs and fights; transcendental roadtrips and hellhounds; parties and their aftermath.

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colorfullfalls · 4 years

Text

Hiding from me?

Embry Call x reader

Summary: Embry got home and couldn’t find his imprint anywhere in the house, so he goes and looks at the only other place he thinks she would be.

Embry was puzzled. He texted you an hour ago and you assured him that you would be at home when he got back. He imagined walking inside and seeing you on the couch with the dogs, probably watching some true crime video. As soon as his shoes slipped off he walked towards the living room.

His brows furrowed as his eyes scanned the area. Fluffy blankets lay in the area your body usually occupied but you weren’t there. The dogs barked in excitement around him, just so happy that daddy was home.

“Hi little loves. Where’s mommy?” He asked the two golden retrievers. Their ears perked at her name and they began to bark loudly, running around the house to search.

Embry laughed at how eager they were to find you as soon as he mentioned your name. You weren’t there and the dogs halted at his feet once again in anticipation. Their dog faces screamed pet me god dammit.

His hands skimmed through their well groomed fur, thanks to her dedication to keeping them clean, petting them for a minute before he slowly rose back to his feet. He slipped his boots back on in a daze as his mind was stuck on her. He wished that she would give him a heads up when she was going to go out. He saw more shit than he would like to admit and worrying was in his nature.

“I’ll be back, boys. I’m gonna find that mommy of yours that likes to drive me crazy. Behave, little rascals.” He called out, blowing them kisses before turning the door knob.

Birds chirped a melody as their bodies fluttered from the assortment of trees. Embry flinched when one flew past his ear- making a swish sound. He smiled slightly at the fact that it scared him. A man who could turn into a bear sized wolf was spooked by a little bird in the woods. He internally swore to never think about it while shifted with the pack because they would tease him about it. Especially Jared.

His ears picked up soft music playing to the left of him. Honey-like voice of Hozier alerted the man that his fiancé was very close by. Y/N loved Hozier’s music. She explained it to him before that his songs just made her feel so understood and completely loved. Embry then would joke that Hozier should be with her instead, to which she would hit him and tell him to shut up.

He peeked around the tree to see her form. His heart soared at the sight before him. A sheet was spread on the ground. The blue and white pattern reminded Embry of the floor mats in her car. Floor mats that he bought you for her birthday three years ago. It was the first year they were together, and he wanted to get her something that she would use everyday and appreciate. She loved the gift. She was so damn appreciative of everything he did. She was actually appreciative of life itself. So sweet and naturally good that it made his heart hurt.

Herbody lay sprawled on the sheet with her head looking up towards the sky. He wondered why she was looking up because the trees covered the blue sky. Her fingers tapped on the fabric of her shirt resting against her midsection to the beat of “Wasteland, baby.”

A smile split his lips apart as he heard her mess up a lyric and laugh to herself about it. She shifted where she laid to a sitting up position to check her phone that sat next to her feet. Embry took this as his que.

“Hiding from me, sweets?” His voice startled her. A surprised scream left her lips as she threw her phone onto the ground. She glared at him, her hand coming up to flash him her middle finger.

“You dick, you scared the hell out of me. Be a normal person and text me a warning that you’re coming.” She spoke, hand over her heart to feel it beating out of her chest.

He blushed sheepishly before defending himself, “Not fair because, one, you should have told me that you were coming out here and two- don’t call me a dick. I prefer the names; handsome, lover boy, bub, and occasionally cutie pie. Well I’d take cutie pie over dick any day.”

She rolled her eyes at his speech but offered a loving smile all the same. She couldn’t help it. No matter what the man in front of her did, she thought he was the sun, the moon, and the stars. A part of her felt guilty for not warning him where she would be.

“I admit, a simple text would’ve been thoughtful. So I’m sorry about that, but you know I hate when you sneak up on me.”

His body came to rest beside hers on the thin sheet that barely separated their bodies from the natural dirt and grime of Mother Nature. His brown eyes gazed over her beautiful features in appreciation and adoration.

“Didn’t mean to spook you...” he mumbled, leaning over to kiss the side of her head. She hummed as he pulled away, “Why are you out here anyway?”

She sighed, crossing her arms, “Greg from work was being a sexist asshole, and I argued with him about the wage gap for about an hour. My nerves were so shot when I got home that I had to disconnect. Come out here and focus on the sweet things in life.”

Embry listener to all she had to say, soaking in her feelings as if he was a sponge used to clean up spilled water. He would always be attentive to how she felt because his mom taught him to care about women more than just lovers, but to care about them as deep counterparts to life, as a great friend.

Y/N cared too much sometimes and that put a burden on her shoulders. He wanted to help carry that burden any time he could.

“Greg is the one who you should be calling a dick.”

She laughed, nudging his arm with her elbow, “Oh I called him that and more. Trust me. I’m glad I have a sweet man like you that actually cares about women instead of seeing them as servants.”

His finger tips grazed her collar bone, dancing around the soft skin that was cold compared to his lava temperature. Goosebumps arose from the rapid heat. They traveled down her skin until his fingers connected with hers.

“My mother raised me right, and apparently a lot of parents could take notes from her. Next time he argues with you, just call me and hand him the phone. I will school him like no other, teach him how to respect others.” His low voice rumbled.

“I’m sure you will, lover boy. I don’t doubt it.”

Embry bit his lip as he let the silence wash over the couple. A bird flew past again and he jumped, internally cursing the damn animal for getting him twice within ten minutes.

“I don’t want to rush you, but I’m very hungry. I’ve been thinking about that Italian place we went to a couple months ago.” His thumb rubbed circles against her skin.

“Luittei’s.. yeah; that place was good. You wanna go there?” She asked, looking up at him.

“Not very subtle, was I?”

Y/N patted his arm. She then stood up and helped him up too, “You’re cute, but no. Not subtle at all. I want Italian too though.”

Embry bent down and grabbed the sheet in his hands, her grabbing the other side to fold it harmoniously.

“I love you.” His voice cracked a bit as his tongue delivered the earnest words. Letters strung together that formed such a true and genuine message. Loving her was as natural as breathing to him and he was sure it would always be. His tone surprised her.

“I love you too, Em.”

#embrycallimagine #embry call #embry call imagine #twilight imagine

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