#I can't believe it's been three years since The 100 ended | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

Visit Blog

Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.

Fun Fact

Mobile US users spent an average of 115.8 minutes on Tumblr app monthly.

#I can't believe it's been three years since The 100 ended

mostlysignssomeportents · 7 months

Text

"Efficiency" left the Big Three vulnerable to smart UAW tactics

Tomorrow (September 22), I'm (virtually) presenting at the DIG Festival in Modena, Italy. Tomorrow night, I'll be in person at LA's Book Soup for the launch of Justin C Key's "The World Wasn’t Ready for You." On September 27, I'll be at Chevalier's Books in Los Angeles with Brian Merchant for a joint launch for my new book The Internet Con and his new book, Blood in the Machine.

It's been 143 days since the WGA went on strike against the Hollywood studios. While early tactical leaks from the studios had studio execs chortling and twirling their mustaches about writers caving once they started losing their homes, the strikers aren't wavering – they're still out there, pounding the picket lines, every weekday:

https://www.cnbc.com/2023/08/09/how-hollywood-writers-make-ends-meet-100-days-into-the-writers-guild-strike.html

The studios obviously need writers. That gleeful, anonymous studio exec who got such an obvious erotic charge at the thought of workers being rendered homeless as punishment for challenging his corporate power completely misread the room, and his comments didn't demoralize the writers. Instead, they inspired the actors to go on strike, too.

But how have the writers stayed out since May Day? How have the actors stayed out for 69 days since their strike started on Bastille Day? We can thank the studios for that! As it turns out, the studios have devoted so much energy to rendering creative workers as precarious as possible, hiring as little as they can getting away with and using punishing overtime as a substitute for adequate staffing that they've eliminated all the workers who can't survive on side-hustles and savings for six or seven months at a time.

But even for those layoff-hardened workers, long strikes are brutal, and of course, all the affiliated trades, from costumers to grips, are feeling the pain. The strike fund only goes so far, and non-striking, affected workers don't even get that. That's why I've been donating regularly to the Entertainment Community Fund, which helps all affected workers out with cash transfers (I just gave them another $500):

https://secure2.convio.net/afa/site/Donation2?df_id=8117&8117.donation=form1&mfc_pref=T

As hot labor summer is revealed as a turning point – not just a season – long strikes will become the norm. Bosses still don't believe in worker power, and until they get their minds right, they're going to keep on trying to starve their workforces back inside. To get a sense of how long workers will have to hold out, just consider the Warrior Met strike, where Alabama coal-miners stayed out for 23 months:

https://www.thenation.com/article/activism/warrior-met-strike-union/

As Kim Kelly explained to Adam Conover in the latest Factually podcast, the Alabama coal strikers didn't get anywhere near the attention that the Hollywood strikers have enjoyed:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UvyMHf7Yg0Q

(To learn more about the untold story of worker organizing, from prison unions to the key role that people of color and women played in labor history, check out Kelly's book, "Fight Like Hell," now in paperback:)

https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/Fight-Like-Hell/Kim-Kelly/9781982171063

Which brings me to the UAW strike. This is an historic strike, the first time that the UAW has struck all of the Big Three automakers at once. Past autoworkers' strikes have marked turning points for all American workers. The 1945/46 GM strike established employers' duty to cover worker pensions, health care, and cost of living allowances. The GM strike created the American middle-class:

https://prospect.org/labor/2023-09-18-uaw-strikes-built-american-middle-class/

The Big Three are fighting for all the marbles here. They are refusing to allow unions to organize EV factories. Given that no more internal combustion cars will be in production in just a few short years, that's tantamount to eliminating auto unions altogether. The automakers are flush with cash, including billions in public subsidies from multiple bailouts, along with billions more from greedflation price-gouging. A long siege is inevitable, as the decimillionaires running these companies earn their pay by starving out their workers:

https://www.businessinsider.com/general-motors-ceo-mary-barra-salary-auto-workers-strike-uaw-2023-9

The UAW knows this, of course, and their new leadership – helmed by the union's radical president Shawn Fain – has a plan. UAW workers are engaged in tactical striking, shutting down key parts of the supply chain on a rolling basis, making the 90-day strike fund stretch much farther:

https://prospect.org/blogs-and-newsletters/tap/2023-09-18-labors-militant-creativity/

In this project, they are greatly aided by Big Car's own relentless pursuit of profit. The automakers – like every monopolized, financialized sector – have stripped all the buffers and slack out of their operations. Inventory on hand is kept to a bare minimum. Inputs are sourced from the cheapest bidder, and they're brought to the factory by the lowest-cost option. Resiliency – spare parts, backup machinery – is forever at war with profits, and profits have won and won and won, leaving auto production in a brittle, and easily shattered state.

This is especially true for staffing. Automakers are violently allergic to hiring workers, because new workers get benefits and workplace protection. Instead, the car companies routinely offer "voluntary" overtime to their existing workforce. By refusing this overtime, workers can kneecap production, without striking.

Enter "Eight and Skate," a campaign among UAW workers to clock out after their eight hour shift. As Keith Brower Brown writes for Labor Notes, the UAW organizers are telling workers that "It’s crossing an unofficial picket line to work overtime. It’s helping out the company":

https://labornotes.org/2023/09/work-extra-during-strike-auto-workers-say-eight-and-skate

Eight and Skate has already started to work; the Buffalo Ford plant can no longer run its normal weekend shifts because workers are refusing to put in voluntary overtime. Of course, bosses will strike back: the next step will be forced overtime, which will lead to the unsafe conditions that unionized workers are contractually obliged to call paid work-stoppages over, shutting down operations without touching the strike fund.

What's more, car bosses can't just halt safety stoppages or change the rules on overtime; per the UAW's last contract, bosses are required to bargain on changes to overtime rules:

https://uaw.org/wp-content/uploads/2023/09/Working-Without-Contract-FAQ-FINAL-2.pdf

Car bosses have become lazily dependent on overtime. At GM's "highly profitable" SUV factory in Arlington, TX, normal production runs a six-days, 24 hours per day. Workers typically work five eight-hour days and nine hours on Saturdays. That's been the status quo for 11 years, but when bosses circulated the usual overtime signup sheet last week, every worker wrote "a big fat NO" next to their names.

Writing for The American Prospect, David Dayen points out that this overtime addiction puts a new complexion on the much-hyped workerpocalypse that EVs will supposedly bring about. EVs are much simpler to build than conventional cars, the argument goes, so a US transition to EVs will throw many autoworkers out of work:

https://prospect.org/labor/2023-09-20-big-threes-labor-shortages-uaw/

But the reality is that most autoworkers are doing one and a half jobs already. Reducing the "workforce" by a third could leave all these workers with their existing jobs, and the 40-hour workweek that their forebears fought for at GM inn 1945/46. Add to that the additional workers needed to make batteries, build and maintain charging infrastructure, and so on, and there's no reason to think that EVs will weaken autoworker power.

And as Dayen points out, this overtime addiction isn't limited to cars. It's also endemic to the entertainment industry, where writers' "mini rooms" and other forms of chronic understaffing are used to keep workforces at a skeleton crew, even when the overtime costs more than hiring new workers.

Bosses call themselves job creators, but they have a relentless drive to destroy jobs. If there's one thing bosses hate, it's paying workers – hence all the hype about AI and automation. The stories about looming AI-driven mass unemployment are fairy tales, but they're tailor made for financiers who get alarming, life-threatening priapism at the though of firing us all and replacing us with shell-scripts:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/03/09/autocomplete-worshippers/#the-real-ai-was-the-corporations-that-we-fought-along-the-way

This is why Republican "workerism" rings so hollow. Trump's GOP talks a big game about protecting "workers" (by which they mean anglo men) from immigrants and "woke captialism," but they have nothing to say about protecting workers from bosses and bankers who see every dime a worker gets as misappropriated from their dividend.

Unsurprisingly, conservative message-discipline sucks. As Luke Savage writes in Jacobin, for every mealymouthed Josh Hawley mouthing talking points that "support workers" by blaming China and Joe Biden for the Big Three's greed, there's a Tim Scott, saying the quiet part aloud:

https://jacobin.com/2023/09/republicans-uaw-strike-hawley-trump-scott/

Quoth Senator Scott: "I think Ronald Reagan gave us a great example when federal employees decided they were going to strike. He said, you strike, you’re fired. Simple concept to me. To the extent that we can use that once again, absolutely":

https://twitter.com/American_Bridge/status/1704136706574741988

The GOP's workerism is a tissue-thin fake. They can never and will never support real worker power. That creates an opportunity for Biden and Democrats to seize:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/18/co-determination/#now-make-me-do-it

Reversing two generations of anti-worker politics is a marathon, not a sprint. The strikes are going to run for months, even years. Every worker will be called upon to support their striking siblings, every day. We can do it. Solidarity now. Solidarity forever.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/09/21/eight-and-skate/#strike-to-rule

#pluralistic #strikes #uaw #labor #automakers #big three #big car #eight and skate #work to rule #tactics

4K notes · View notes

beginningofwonderland · 6 months

Text

Stay Focused - San

Pairing: university student y/n x office worker San

Genre: smut with plot (MINORS DNI!)

Word Count: 12.5k (I don't know what happened)

Summary: Your mother insists on getting you a tutor for your studies. You want to resist until you meet Choi San, your tutor. His sweet talk and good looks make you focus on anything but your studies and you do everything to finally catch his attention in the same way.

Warnings: San is a few years older (5 to be exact), some nipple play, fingering, some orgasm denial, lots of dirty talk, blowjob (face-fucking leaning), protected sex, mirror sex

The reader in this is so horny omg. Just straight up trash for San (relatable). Also very long build-up.

"Good is not enough in this family," your mother repeats to you for what feels like the 100th time. „Your grades have to be exceptional if you want to work in my business."

Your eyes roll to the back of your head as you change your phone to the other hand to stir your pasta around. You just told her about your recent test results which of course are not satisfactory to her.

The problem is that you are actually doing pretty good. You never missed or failed a class, you passed all your courses with at least a good score and you had even fulfilled additional classes to broaden the spectrum of your studies. But just like she said: Good is not enough for her. She won't shut up about your grades until you reach 100% in all of your classes - which is basically impossible, especially in your field of study.

"Do you even still want to work in the family business?" your mother asks you provokingly. And the problem is, you do. You really do. Your mother is the CEO of a big pharmacy company and ever since you were a kid you followed her interest in chemistry. You even chose your pharmacy major without her influence. But now that you are taking the same path as her, she is all in your business about being the perfect little mini-her.

"I do, mom. I'm working hard on it, I promise. The next exam is in four weeks and I already started studying."

She makes a huffing sound before answering you: "You said that the last three times as well and still didn't get a full score. You should really get a tutor."

"Mom! I'm the best in my class. Why should I get a tutor? I'm doing great!" You are glad you're only talking to her on the phone so that she doesn't see the way your hands clasps over your face. She can't be serious with you. Getting a tutor with your grades is just embarrassing.

"But not great enough. You know what? The son of a close business partner recently started working at the company. He graduated a few years ago with an honour's degree and seems to be a very promising young man. I'll ask him to tutor you."

Your cheeks start to heat up just at the thought of how embarrassing the whole thing will be for you. Getting a tutor that worked for your mother is literally the worst case scenario. You feel like a high school student that doesn't pay attention in school and now gets scolded for it.

"I do not need a tutor, mom." You state once again but her mind is already made up.

"I'll give him your number and he will contact you. And don't you dare be rude to him, his father is very important for our business!"

You can't believe her words. Since when have you ever been rude to anyone she introduced you to? Your mother ends the call before you can protest any more.

Angrily, you fish a single spaghetti out of your pot to taste it. It's perfectly cooked when you munch on it in annoyance.

--------------------------------

This is Choi San.

Your mother told me you needed tutoring on your pharmacy classes and gave me your schedule.

I can teach you Tuesday and Thursday afternoon from 6PM. Would that work for you?

You fall back onto bed with a frustrated groan as you read the messages. She really asked him. Now you have no choice but agree to him tutoring you because your mother would kill you otherwise.

Typing a reply you take a deep breath. This will be such a waste of time for the both of you.

Hello! Tuesdays and Thursdays are good. Thank you so much.

You hate how pathetic you sound. What are you even thanking him for? You don't want him to tutor you and he was definitely forced by your mother so why even play pretend?

No problem. We can use meeting room 117 at the company since I reserved it for us. I'll see you on Tuesday.

You dread Tuesday every single day from now on. When it finally arrives you feel ridiculous as you enter the large building of your mother's company. You have been here countless times but you never thought you would get tutor lessons here.

Even worse is that your mother made you go greet her beforehand. She specifically texted you to visit her office before the appointment with Mr. Choi. You walk past her assistant with a polite greeting and finally enter her office.

The luxurious room sat at the top floor of the building with a nice view over the city. Sometimes you forget how successful her company actually is. It can be quiet intimidating.

"There you are," she greets you with a mere look up from a bunch of files on her desk. "I hope you prepared well for your tutoring session. Please don't embarrass yourself in front of Mr. Choi. His father is an important business partner of mine and he himself seems to be a very promising employee. I don't want my own daughter to make him think worse of the company."

Of course she only worries about the company. The idea that this is incredibly humiliating for her own daughter does not even cross her mind.

"Hello, mom. Of course I prepared well, I always do. I won't disappoint you."

She nods at you, satisfied with your answer before looking at her watch. "Then you should head to the meeting room. He is always ridiculously early for meetings so he's probably waiting for you already."

Great, you think to yourself. You hoped you would be able to grab a coffee beforehand.

"I'll go right away. Bye, mom."

You walk to the elevator with heavy steps and check your own watch. It's still fifteen minutes until 6PM so there's plenty of time to grab a coffee before, no matter what your mother might say.

Entering the elevator you select the floor of the meeting room with the plan to walk to the coffee pantry first. Half-way down, the elevator stops on a different floor. When the doors open you almost choke on your polite "Hello" as your eyes take in the person in front of you.

Walking into the elevator is easily the most attractive man you have ever seen in your life. Dressed in a tight pair of dark pants and a perfectly fitted dress-shirt the handsome stranger repeats your greeting with a small bow and a mind-numbingly attractive smile. His eyes carry a little glimmer even behind the round pair of glasses he wears and as he pushes back his black hair you feel like swooning.

You have to keep yourself from staring when he takes his place in the elevator and both of you wait for it to move. Just now you realize he hasn't pushed a button, which means he is heading to the same floor as you. Out of the corner of your eyes you can't help but watch him.

He is a few inches taller than you but appears even bigger due to his broad frame. You wonder where that man even finds clothes that fit his stature with his broad shoulders and tiny waist. He checks his most definitely expensive wrist watch before looking at the display counting down the floors.

When the elevator doors open with a ding, you almost jolt. You were so caught up in thinking about how good he looks that you didn't even notice arriving on your floor. The handsome man gestures for you to step out first with another deadly smile in your direction.

"Thank you," you barely breath out as you step out of the elevator in front of him. It feels like the air outside is ten degrees colder. Without looking back you head to the pantry of the floor. You need a coffee even more than before now that you can only think of that guy from the elevator. There is no way you can concentrate on tutoring now without some caffeine.

The benefit of being the CEO's daughter is having a card with unlimited access to the coffee machines so you happily press the button for a black coffee. At the familiar buzzing sound you can finally relax and take a deep breath. No man has ever made you so flustered before just by existing. Maybe you should visit the office more often if that was the kind of employees your mother hired.

Taking your coffee into one hand and your study bag into the other you turn around to head to the meeting room. Caught up deeply in your thoughts you almost run head first into the person behind you.

"Woah, careful there. You don't want to spill that coffee do you?" his voice is smooth like honey, with a joking tone to it. You blink up at him a few times before you find your words.

"I'm sorry. I was distracted."

The man from the elevator smiles at you and you feel your body warming up from the inside out.

"Don't worry, nothing happened." He looks you up and down quickly before holding eye contact once again.

"Excuse the question, but do you happen to be director Kim's daughter?"

You stare at him in confusion. "Yes. Yes, I am. How did you know?"

He moves past you, grabbing a cup from the pantry himself and turning on the coffee machine before he answers:

"You share her eyes. But more importantly, your bag has a pin of the pharmacy faculty of the university and because I'm supposed to meet her daughter for tutoring on this floor in - " he checks his watch again: "exactly 12 minutes, I figured it might be you."

You are impressed. His looks are already enough to have your eyes turn into hearts but there is probably nothing that makes a man more attractive to you than his wit. But what hits you even more than that is the fact that THIS was your tutor.

I take everything back mom, I love tutoring. Sign me up for another year.

"Well, you figured correctly," you reply weakly, at a loss for words. "Nice to meet you Mr. Choi."

You put your cup on the pantry table to reach your hand out to him. He takes it with a smile.

"Nice to meet you too, Miss Kim. I was going to get the two of us some coffee but as I can see you already helped yourself."

Oh, so he's a gentleman as well.

"Next time you should let me take care of that," you said showing him your free access card. "I happen to own the key to infinite coffee."

"Does the caffeine addiction come for free with that as well?" You chuckle at his joke.

"I think it's the requirement to get it in the first place."

"Well then I will happily let you get us coffee next time."

Next time, you think. The reality that you will be seeing this man on a regular basis hits you.

For a second the two of you just smile at each other. Then Mr. Choi notices that his coffee is done and he grabs the cup.

"Let's head to the meeting room then. I wouldn't want to waste your time."

You sir, can waste my time any day of the week, you think to yourself but obviously keep silent as you follow him to the room.

He holds the door open for you and you settle down onto one of the meeting chairs. You always hated these things. They are designed to make you sit upright and therefore terribly uncomfortable. You desperately want to fold one of your legs under yourself like you always do at home but you have a good image to keep. After taking a seat across from you he puts his bag onto the table and looks at you expectantly.

"So what topics exactly are you struggling with? It's been a while for me but I'm sure I can help."

"To be honest with you, I don't really need help on anything."

San raises his eyebrows behind the round glasses on his nose. "What do you mean?"

You sigh, not knowing how to explain this dilemma best. "My mother made me get a tutor because she believes I need better grades. In fact I'm the best of my year with perfect attendance and an average of 95%. She says that everything under 100% is not enough which is why she must have thought of you as a tutor."

San just stares at you with a peculiar look on his face. He looks almost impressed from your words.

"I knew director Kim could be quite strict but I had never imagined that extent. I'm sorry she made you do this, a 95% average is very impressive in the pharmacy field."

"Says someone with a perfect 100% graduation," you snap back, a little more spiteful than you want to. But San doesn't seem to take it the wrong way. Instead he chuckles in response. The sound sends shivers down your spine, his voice dipping way lower than you had expected it could.

"Trust me, that wasn't all brains. I only know my way around people." You don't doubt that last statement for even a second.

"Maybe instead of teaching I can give you some tips around the university. That would probably help you more."

Now you are interested.

"What kind of tips for example?" You lean forward resting an elbow on the table as you pick your cup of coffee up for a sip. It's still burning hot but you pretend you didn't just burn your tongue as you set it back down.

"Does Mr. Han still do the medicine lectures? He's been using the same exam template for years. Pharmacy students are just to selfish to share the results with the younger students. I'll look for my old exams later to give them to you."

Your mouth opens in awe. Everyone from the year above had told you Mr Han's exams were the hardest and it turns out they were just lying to intimidate you. The competition was real.

"These fuckers," you mumble beneath your breath but judging by his chuckle, San heard you just fine.

"Sorry," you excuse your language immediately with a small nod. He is still an employee under your mother and she told you explicitly to act well around him. Hiding your uneasiness you go for another scolding sip of coffee.

"Don't worry, darling. I won't go complaining to your mother about your language. You don't need to be her perfect little girl for me."

You almost choke on your coffee and have to force the liquid down your throat with an effort. You really wish they didn't but his words made your insides squirm. The amount of money you'd pay him to call you 'darling' again is surely an embarrassing amount. But good little girl also didn't sound too bad from his mouth.

"Thanks," you mumble, not knowing what else to say and stare onto the table to hide your flushing face. If you look at him with those slutty, round glasses right now, you're sure you'll combust.

You don't notice, but Mr. Choi eyes you up and down carefully before he resumes speaking. He smiles at your flustered state that obviously doesn't escape his sharp senses. Seeing your pretty face flush from only these few words, satisfies him deeply.

"Then how about that toxicology class? If Mr. Lim still teaches it, I know a few ways to get on his good side. He always picks favourites and it shows in the grades."

Mr. Choi continues listing off ways to better your grades around your professors. You can't help but be impressed. Not only is he obviously very intelligent but also great with people. Maybe what kept you from exceeding in your studies was your rather reserved nature in class.

"How about this," Mr. Choi finally proposes after teaching you some of his ways. "I'll get you my old notes and exams and with that you will surely ace all your tests. Then we can meet up for these tutoring sessions and while you study in peace I can get some work done. This way your mother is happy and we both profit from the situation."

You nod without hesitation. "That sounds like a great idea. Thank you so much, Mr. Choi."

He groans at your words, a sound that makes you react in a way you don't even want to put into words.

"Please don't call me Mr. Choi when we're alone that makes me feel terribly old. My name is San."

"Aren't you older than me though?" you ask back carefully. It doesn't feel right to call him by his first name.

"If 5 years are old to you?" he inquires with a slight teasing edge to his voice. You don't know if he's flirting with you or if you are just becoming a witness to this man's effortless social skills.

Truthfully, you are 22 and 5 years more don't seem that much to you. Still his way with words and the confident aura around him make him seem more mature.

"I didn't say old. Just older."

He rolls his eyes at your stubbornness, leisurely resting one of his elbows on the backrest behind him. "Just call me San, darling."

There it is again. That word single-handedly turns you into a blushing mess within seconds and you find yourself agreeing without another thought.

"Okay, San."

A satisfied smile spreads on his face and you marvel at the dimples that form on his cheeks. "Much better. Than how about you do some studying and I'll get some work done now?"

"Sounds good," you reply and start taking out your classwork. He could've told you to start stripping right now and you would've agreed without question. Damn you are down bad for him already...

It is a weird situation at first. You are used to studying around strangers in the library, but sitting alone in a room with San makes it hard to focus on your upcoming test. His eyes keep flicking from his work laptop across to you and you don't know if he's interest in the topic you're studying or you.

You yourself on the other hand are surely interested in him and you can't help but steal a few glances at him working diligently at his laptop every now and then. Even typing on his keyboard looks ridiculously hot on him with the way his slender fingers run over the keys.

After about two hours of you trying to keep your eyes on your notes San finally closes his laptop and stares at you until you reciprocate his look.

"I guess two hours is enough to make your mother think you studied, right?" he asks with one corner of his mouth slightly lifted.

"Sure," you respond weakly.

"I'll look for my old tests and will bring them on Thursday," he goes on as he stands up to pack up his laptop and bag. You also start gathering your study books.

"Thank you again," you answer lamely. But the promise of already seeing him again on Thursday excites you.

When you proceed to grab your now empty coffee cup his hands react quickly as he snatches it from you.

"Don't worry about that, I'll put those away," he's leaning over the table now, smiling at you through slightly closed eyes and you can't help but be entranced by his looks. "You should make sure to get home before it's dark outside. Want you to get home safely."

"Don't worry about me, I'll manage."

"Oh but I won't if something happens to you and your mother finds out you were last seen with me," he replies cockily as you two finally go to the door.

You have to chuckle at his remark. "Good to know I'm not the only one terrified of her."

"Everyone is terrified of her," he mumbles under his breath but you are already reaching the coffee pantry - aka your cue to go home.

"Can we use the same room on Thursday?" you ask as you stop in front of him. You make sure to brush your hair behind your ear in a nonchalant manner, knowing it shows your good angles.

"Yeah, I already booked it," San replies easily, eyes fixing yours from above. "But let's meet at the coffee machine here. I want to at least take advantage of that free coffee if I give you all my study secrets."

He winks at you at the last part of the sentence and it makes your insides twirl like on a rollercoaster. You give him a small smile through fluttering lashes. "So that's what you meant with a win-win situation: Endless coffee. Well it looks like I don't have a choice but to be your personal coffee machine."

You want to punch yourself right after that sentence leaves your mouth. How much more stupid could you possibly sound? Personal coffee machine. Saying you wanted to be his personal slut would have been less embarrassing.

But San doesn't seem to mind your awkward response. "Sounds good to me," he replies smoothly. "Then have a good ride home and I'll see you on Thursday."

"Until Thursday," you reply before you can say something stupid again and stroll off to the elevator with a small wave.

As soon as the doors close behind you, your head thumps against the steel wall. There is no way you will get any studying done with that man in the same room as you.

---------------------

Your next few meetings with San go on smoothly. You are always on time but he is still earlier than you, waiting for you at the coffee machine. You get both of you a coffee - sometimes two if you feel like it - and you two get to work in a comfortable silence sitting opposite to each other in the meeting room.

After San brought you his old exams you can now prepare exactly what you need to know for your next tests. But no matter how hard you try to focus on your studies, your eyes keep wandering from your books up to the handsome man working on his laptop.

You soon notice his seemingly endless closet full of tailored dressing shirts and perfectly matching pants. He always looks immaculate, not a single wrinkle on his shirt and his hair always neatly combed back. Even his skin is flawless to the point that you start questioning if Choi San might be a figment of your imagination.

Just like his outer appearance, his manners are immaculate. Like you already noticed on your first meeting, he is a sweet talker. Always knowing the right thing to say and never letting your conversation end in awkwardness.

Whenever he feels like taking a break you notice him starting to talk to you. At first he asks how your studies are going. Then he wanders off to the professors you two shared and how he managed to ace all his classes.

Your whole attention is glued to his lips. For one thing because the information he can provide you with is crucial to your academic development but much more importantly because his lips are the prettiest thing you have ever seen. They look so plump and smooth while he's talking that your mind can't help but wander to the other things he might be able to do with them besides talking.

If at your first meeting you were down bad for Choi San, one month later you felt like you were drowning and he was the last bit of oxygen left on earth. You wanted him with a passion that you didn't even know you were capable of.

But you couldn't have him. There was too much at stake. He still worked for your mother and if you made a move on him that he wouldn't reciprocate you would risk the eternal hate of the only woman that still held control over your life. And so far San hadn't shown any sign of feeling the same way about you that you did for him.

„You're stuck on that?" San suddenly asks you over the page of biochemistry that you've been staring at for a solid five minutes. You haven't spared a single thought on the topic in front of you. Your mind is only occupied by the thought of San leaning over you on the meeting chair, your chin in between his slender fingers as he smirks down at you. You hate him for having this effect on you when you so desperately need to focus on your studies.

You really need to get your thoughts together.

„Oh no I was just getting carried away," you answer, looking at him pointedly with a sly smile.

You tried little attacks like this on him before. A casual pull down of your shirt, stretching your arms to make it ride up over your stomach or even looking directly at his lips as he spoke. But no matter how daring you get you can never catch San slipping.

His eyes stay on yours only whenever he looks at you, his tone is always polite and never goes farther than a casual joke. You simply can't draw a single reaction from him and it drives you insane.

„Do you need a small break? We could get another coffee," he offers helpfully.

I don't want a damn coffee I want you to fuck me on this meeting table.

"I'd love to, but I'm already way too warm today. I fear the AC can't fight against the heat anymore."

It has gotten exponentially hotter over the past days and you can feel it even inside the modern building.

"You're right, it's quite hot in here," San says with a disappointed face. "What a shame we don't have iced coffee. We should get some on Tuesday!"

His eyes light up in excitement and this little sliver of pure happiness doesn't escape you. It's surprising how cute he can be with that shamelessly hot body of his.

"Do you know a place near?" You ask to drag on the conversation. You yourself know at least 3 cafés in the area that sell iced coffee but you want San to tell you a place. Maybe his favourite. So that you can go and think of him.

"Yes, I can show you!" he answers proudly.

"I'd love to." You send him a gentle smile with long eye contact before both of you look back at your work.

But your concentration withers away like the dying plant in the corner of the room when Choi San begins undoing the buttons of his shirt sleeves.

You know you shouldn't but your eyes immediately watch as his slender fingers start neatly folding up his sleeves. The muscles in his underarms dance beneath his skin as inch after inch of skin gets revealed.

You feel like a medieval man salivating over exposed ankles as you stare at San's arms. The veins are protruding in the heat and his honey skin is glistening under the bland neon lights.

Your heartbeat quickens and it's mostly because it feels like you finally found San slipping. Him rolling up his sleeves is like a crack in his perfect mask and you are certain that he wouldn't do it anywhere else in the company. He only does this because he is with you.

"Shoot," he suddenly exclaims and draws your attention up to his face. You catch the small pout that appears on his lips before he looks back at you.

"What is it?" you ask him.

"I forgot to book the meeting room for Tuesday and now everything is blocked. There is a work event next week. I should've booked it earlier."

"Oh," you simply reply. This is even more confusing. You don't believe that San would ever forget such an important event. Is he trying to get rid of you?

"Don't worry about it, darling." His smirk and the nickname has you fighting for air. "I'll find us something else."

You can only nod at him with a smile. Maybe he isn't trying to get rid of you.

The rest of your study/work time flies by as your mind thinks of all the possible meeting places you and San could have for Tuesday. You feel like a highschool girl dreaming about dates with your crush but you don't care. The man that is supposed to be tutoring you just makes your heart speed up in a way that you haven't experienced ever before.

When your meeting time comes to an end and San starts packing up his stuff he simply says: "How about we meet at my place next time? I don't like working in cafés it's always so crowded and noisy. And I have coffee too."

You snap up at him in surprise at the proposal. "Sure," you reply as nonchalantly as you can at the prospect of going to Choi San's apartment. Alone. With him.

"I can pick you up here with my car after work. So you don't have any extra way."

"That sounds good," you reply with a small smile, trying not to sound too excited.

"Then until next week," he says with one of his handsome smiles and you say your goodbyes before you can turn even redder in his presence.

When you walk onto the elevator this time and the door closes behind you, your heart is pounding into your throat. As the realization sets in that you will be alone with Choi San in his apartment a satisfied smile set over your face. Oh you will use that chance for sure.

----------------------

You spend the entire day preparing for your tutor appointment with San. Something deep inside you tells you that this behaviour is ridiculous but you push this inner voice back down as you play your favourite music and get ready.

You wear your hair in light waves and put on makeup to bring out your eyes but not look overly done up. Your outfit was a tricky matter but you settled on a classic pleated skirt and a tight long-sleeve. Everything about your appearance today lands on the thin line between innocent and suggestive and you are satisfied when you twirl around in front of the mirror.

All you want is one small reaction out of the man that you have thirsted for over the past weeks. If Choi San even so much as lets his eyes scan you up and down, your mission would be successful. Lost in your task of getting ready you almost forget to actually pack your study books before heading to your mothers company.

You two agreed on San picking you up at the company's garage. So you are taking down the elevator to the parking floor and checking yourself one last time in your phone camera before stepping into the parking lot.

Having no idea how his car looks like you pull up your chat with San, wanting to ask him where to go. But before you can type your message a calm voice calls you over from across the parking lot.

"Y/n!"

You turn around to a sight that makes your heart flutter. San is leaning onto his car, a chic black Mercedes. His white dress shirt has one button unbuttoned and his sleeves are rolled up again. His feet are crossed over each other leisurely as he waits for you to come over.

Walking up to him you have to try real hard to look casual and not like your nerves are taking over you with the impending situation of being in the same car as San for an undefined amount of time. Your heart is beating already and he hasn't even called you any nicknames yet.

"Hello, San. You're not wearing glasses today?" you notice in surprise and hope it doesn't come off as too attentive.

"Sometimes I wear contacts," he replies smoothly. "It's a styling decision."

While you love the glasses on San seeing him without has a different charm to it. Almost like he is showing you a different side of him.

"Ready to go?" you ask him to keep the conversation going and you're almost proud of your nonchalant tone.

"Ready when you are," he replies with a light smile and walks around the car to open the door for you.

Of course he opens the door for me.

Before you can get in he also takes your bag from you to store it in the back. You want to refuse but one of his smiles finally makes you give in and you hand him the bag. Finally, you thank him and sit down in the passenger seat. The car looks even nicer on the inside: leather seats and perfectly clean. Something inside you starts questioning where this man hides his flaws since noone can possibly be this perfect at all times.

"It's only a 20 minute drive," San explains as he gets into the driver's seat and turns on the engine. You can't help but watch his hands as he manages the gearshift. But as he turns around to look for obstacles his eyes get stuck on you. For a second you think you got him. That his eyes linger on you for a little too long because you finally pulled a reaction out of him.

"You haven't even put your seatbelt on, darling."

And with that your mind is blank. Simple emptiness.

Before you can react, his hand reaches past you, grabbing the seatbelt and plugging it in. His hand doesn't so much as grace your shoulder for a millisecond but you feel like your lungs are constricting.

"Thanks," you breath out before he finally pulls out of the parking spot. He does that wildly attractive thing where he put his hand on the back of the passenger's seat while driving backwards and you feel like losing it already. How will you survive being in the same apartment with this man. San however seems his usual chatty self.

"I'm sorry again for not booking the meeting room in time. I already reserved it for the weeks to come," he starts talking to you.

"Don't worry. I totally don't mind," you answer and regret it immediately. Did that sound too eager? Something about Sam's presence makes you overthink every single word you say.

"I have a fancy coffee machine at home so I can at least return the favour of you getting me coffee all the time."

You smile at that. It feels like this little inside thing between you two how you always use your company privileges to pay for both of your coffee. San thanks you every single time, bringing up how much you save his day.

"I never thought you were that much of a coffee guy at home too," you say trying to get him to tell you more about himself.

"You're acting like I didn't go through pharmacy as well!" He replies with a slightly sulky tone. "No way to survive that major without getting addicted to coffee."

You chuckle at his response. "That's true unfortunately. So you just carried the addiction into your job?"

"You could state it like that but by buying a fancy machine you can just say that coffee is your hobby instead."

Whenever you two talk about mundane topics like this you can't help but be glued to his lips. To get a glimpse of the Choi San that isn't working over-hours all the time and kept up his perfect image at all costs. You want to find out the details about him. Like how he enjoys his coffee or what colour he might like best.

You continue the drive in casual chatter like this before finally reaching your destination. As San pulls into an underground parking lot of an apartment building your heart rate quickens again. Something about seeing his apartment makes you incredibly nervous.

He tells you to wait inside the car after he lets the motor die down so that he can open the door for you again. Even this small gesture has you wrapped around his finger and you smile as you try to step out of the car as gracefully as you can.

San leads you into an elevator and as soon as the doors close you feel reminded of your first meeting. Of how he took your breath away just by standing next to you in such a small space. And now there isn't much difference. He still makes you just as nervous. But at least you can talk to him now.

"How is studying for your exams going so far?" He asks casually.

"It's okay," you reply lamely. "I'm trying my best."

"You know if you actually do need my help you can obviously ask me," he offers alluding to your deal of him basically just getting his own work done instead of tutoring you.

"You've already helped me so much. All I need to do now is actually study," you say turning down his argument.

You idiot, you think to yourself. You could've at least pretended to need his help.

You wait in silence as the remaining floors rush past you. You're surprised with every passing number, wondering what floor San might be living on. But the elevator doesn't stop until the highest floor.

San let's you exit first which makes no sense to you since you don't know where to go. So you wait for him to show you the way to his apartment.

As soon as he unlocks the door and leads you two inside you curiously scan his place. On a first glance it looks almost exactly like you expected: it's very clean and tidy, the furniture is modern and rather minimalistic and the whole place carries a simple colour theme of black and chrome with only hints of colour. The entrance leads straight into an open living room that connects to the kitchen.

"Make yourself at home at the dinner table," San offers while gesturing at the big, black table that looks like straight out of a design magazine.

You both place your shoes neatly at the entrance of his apartment before you take your bag to the table. As you choose a seat from which you can look outside the gigantic window front, San heads over to the kitchen, getting something from a cupboard.

"Can I get you a glass of water before I make some coffee?" He asks you with a kind smile.

"That would be nice," you answer even though water was not what you were craving right now.

He filled one for you and brought it over before returning to the kitchen. "You want your coffee hot or iced?"

"Iced? This is better service than at the company. You should forget to book the meeting room more often." It's a weak attempt at flirting with him but he laughs non the less.

"So iced it is?" He confirms with you again and turns on his electric coffee grinder after you nod approvingly.

It shouldn't captivate you that much, looking at him while he was performing such a basic task as making coffee. But you could watch him for hours, the way his broad back stretches out his dress shirt. The way he moves around so smoothly. The way the muscles in his arms flex as he handles his espresso machine.

You turn towards your study materials just in time before he faces you again, two iced coffees in his hands. He places one gently in front of you before he sits down opposite of you.

"Thank you," you smile at him extra sweetly.

"Anything you want, darling."

You swear to yourself that if he calls you darling one more time you will throw all rational thoughts out of the window and straddle him right here in his stupid designer living room chair. But for now you settle for a coy smile as you feel your cheeks heat up.

To add to your demise, as San drags his chair closer to the table both of your knees touch for a brief second before he casually changes his seating position. The table is narrower than the one in the meeting room and knowing that your legs are mere inches from another makes you even more delusional. What if he did that on purpose?

After that, all concentration for your studies is far gone. It doesn't help at all that the iced coffee he made you was the best you had in ages and with every sip you keep wondering what Choi San isn't good at.

I just know he fucks good there's no other way, you think to yourself but get interrupted in your thoughts.

"Are you stuck on something?" San asks you and you almost don't even dare to raise your eyes to look at him. A kind of shame overcomes you as you realize what you have been thinking about while he worries about your studies.

You sigh to buy yourself time to find an answer that doesn't include: Yes, I'm stuck because I can't think of anything but your body on top of mine.

"Yeah, I just can't seem to concentrate well lately. Maybe I'm stressed out because of my finals."

It isn't fully a lie. Your finals are approaching steadily and with you thirsting over your tutor instead of studying you are indeed starting to worry.

"I would love to tell you that grades don't matter too much but I know your mother won't agree and I will probably face her anger too if you fail," he laughs at the end of his sentence to lighten the mood but quickly notices he only stressed you more by saying that.

"I'm sorry," he quickly retracts. It feels like the first time you caught him messing up his smooth way of talking which in return makes you smile.

"No, you're right. I just never thought about the fact that she will hate both of us if I mess up. What a way to relax."

"I shouldn't have said that," San again apologizes. "I'm sure you will do amazing though. After all you studied so much."

He finishes his sentence with a wink and you must stare at him for a second like an idiot. Did you just imagine that? Or is he alluding to something? Does Choi San know that you thirsted for him this entire fucking time?

But his further actions don't allow you to think much more.

"You look quite tense actually," he continues. "You know it's not good for your back to sit stiff like this for a prolonged amount of time. Your neck must be hurting?"

You have no idea what he is talking about. And your confusion only grows as San gets up from his chair heading in your direction. Every step he comes closer to you has your heart pumping erratically. Even though you dreamed about him being closer to you and finally paying you more attention you are now paralysed at the situation unfolding. Simply being close to him renders your entire body useless.

San steps behind you and, to your absolute shock and amazement, his hands gently grasp your shoulders.

"To compensate the stress from university I took a physiology course that taught us how to massage tense muscles."

As if to proof his words his thumbs gently start rubbing circles into your neck. The warmth of his fingers seeps through your thin shirt and fills your entire body. It feels like he set you on fire with this simple touch.

All of this cannot be real. This must be a figment of your imagination or you actually fell asleep on your study notes while dreaming about San. But his voice sounds very much real when he resumes:

"You have to relax, otherwise I'll hurt you." His voice drops lower than usual and as he gently drapes your hair over one shoulder to get it out of his way you can feel his breath fanning over your neck. Goosebumps erupt all over your skin.

But amid the fire burning in your veins and your clouded mind you actually manage to ease into his fingers and allow him to loosen up your muscles.

"That's a good girl," he rasps behind you and you know you tipped over the edge now. There is no going back from this. You feel like a doll in his hands. His words are electrifying, leaving you unable to utter a single word, to make a single sound. Your mind is running on a state of emergency. Nothing seems to get to you but the fact that San is touching you.

And oh is he good at it. His hands are pressing into all the right places relieving all the pent up tension you built ever since getting ready for this meeting today. If his fingers are already this good at massaging out your stress you can't help but think about what else they can do.

"How do you feel?" He asks. His voice is still low and his tone taunting, as if he knows exactly what he's doing to you.

"Better," you answer. Your voice is merely a whisper. You sound weak, even in your own ears, and wonder if he even heard you.

"Yeah? Then how is this?" With his question his thumbs dip beneath the collar of your shirt and massage your upper back a little lower.

You can't help but close your eyes. The low tone of his voice, his fingers on your skin and the playfulness of his words. All of this is so overwhelming you can only lean back and revel in his touch.

"It feels so good," you manage to breath out when you realize he asked you a question.

He bends down a little, his mouth now right next to your ear. "Should I make you feel even better?"

He is quite literally the devil on your shoulder. Everything in your body screams for you to say yes immediately. The unspoken promise has your entire body on fire and you almost give in to your desire. But a tiny speck of reasonable thinking pulls you back into the dangerous territories you are moving in right now.

"What do you mean?" you ask carefully. You know that this is everything you wanted for the past few weeks but still you can't help being confused about his sudden change.

His left hand wanders from your back to your chin, tilting it to the side so you can look at him. The look in his eyes sends a shiver down your spine. His pupils are dilated and he is looking at you like he is preying on you. The intensity is something you have never seen in him before.

"You are far too smart to be asking that question, darling," he replies smugly.

"But you were never interested in me?" You ask back and want to hit yourself on the spot. Why are you even asking questions when the man you've desired for weeks finally seems to be making a move on you? But after all he is acting very out of character.

San chuckles, never taking his eyes off of you. "You're so cute. All these weeks that you've been wanting me and now you ask what I'm doing?"

Your mouth opens in shock. So he did in fact know all this time that you were interested in him.

"Don't act all surprised now, darling. You really thought I didn't see the way you looked at me ever since we first met? How your eyes keep focusing on my arms in my tight shirts. How you steal glances at me when you think I'm not looking? I wanted to see how long I could leave you thirsting like this before you would break."

His confession has you gasping as you realize you weren't even faintly as indiscreet as you thought you were. Instead San was playing with you the entire time. Watching your every move.

"Desperation looks so cute on you," he adds with another devilish smile. His fingers continue drawing circles into your back as his burning eyes keep you fixed in your spot. You feel bewitched by his entire presence, like he has cast a spell on you.

"I made all this effort to get you into my apartment so we both don't have to risk our lives by having me ruin you on the meeting table and still you didn't even have a clue. I'm almost disappointed if you weren't so cute when you are surprised like this." A satisfied grin plays around his plump lips, as if he revelling in the taste of this sweet opportunity in his hands. "Now be a good girl for me and finally do what you've been wanting to do for weeks. Tell me you want me."

You haven't taken a single breath since he started talking and as a result your head feels dizzy. It takes a short moment before you can finally form the words that your head is screaming at you.

"Please," you whisper pathetically.

"Please what, darling?" San revels in the way you can barely speak.

"Please ruin me."

You can basically see the fire behind his eyes ignite as you speak those three words. His hand wanders to your cheek, grabbing it firmly. He takes his sweet time to let his thumb run over your bottom lip, eyes trailing after his own movement.

"With pleasure."

Finally, his lips press onto yours in a desperate kiss. They feel just as soft as they always looked to you, but he kisses you with a roughness that is almost contradictory. The combination is intoxicating. As you reciprocate the kiss, heat runs through your limbs in shockwaves.

Suddenly impatient, San interrupts the kiss to pull you up and out of the chair by your arms. Grabbing your waist he manhandles you onto the dinner table instead, lifting you onto the ledge as if it was nothing.

Your hands bury in his hair as both your lips meet again in a rushed embrace. In return, San wedges one of his legs between yours and spreads your knees so he can stand between them. The way he handles you makes heat pool in your core. San has a determination to his every move that makes you want to do whatever he could want from you.

One of his hands still tightly grasping your waist, the other winds in your hair as he deepens the kiss. When his tongue enters your mouth you arch your back wanting to diminish every centimetre between you two. Your head is dizzy, completely overwhelmed by his every touch.

San's firm hands are restless on your heated body. His fingers quickly find a way to shift under your shirt and his thumb draws circles into the bare skin of your stomach. Choi San feels like a drug. His touch just as intoxicating as you always dreamed it to be.

He removes his mouth from your lips only to latch onto the fragile skin behind your ears, kissing his way around your neck. You let your head fall back to give him better access and when he starts sucking on your skin you relieve a small whimper.

You can feel San smirking into your skin as he sucks even more. It's like he has found your weakness and is now shamelessly using it to make you melt beneath his fingers. And it's working so well. Your hands lose grip on his hair as you lose your ability to focus on anything but San's lips on your neck.

"Don't tap out on me already, darling. I'm only getting started," he rasps into your ear in between kisses. You draw in a shaky breath at his words. Your legs feel like jelly even as your sitting down and you just know you won't be able to walk after San is finished with you.

He finally withdraws his lips and for a second just revels in your already dishevelled form: hair messy, red flush to your cheeks and lips glossy from kissing him.

"I'd love to have you on my dinner table but let's take this somewhere more comfortable for now," he says in a soft voice.

Hooking his hands under your thighs he picks you up from the table, carrying you towards his bedroom. Woken up from your trance by the change of motion you suddenly gain back some of your bite. While San is busied with carrying you, your fingers rush to the collar of his dress shirt. Oh how often you have dreamed of popping open those buttons one by one. And finally you have the pleasure to do so. A soft chuckle makes his chest move in front of you as San looks down on your actions.

"You couldn't wait, could you?"

"Why would I?" you reply cheekily as your hand smooths over his now exposed skin. He feels so soft and hot under your fingertips that you don't think you'll ever be able to detach.

San throws open his bedroom door with his shoulder and before you have a chance to take in the room you are thrown onto the plush bed. He follows behind immediately, hovering over you with both hands propped up next to your head. He lets his eyes run over your figure lazily, up and down.

"Don't even know where to start with you," he mumbles half to himself and half to you as he watches your chest rise and fall in heavy breaths. He decides to put on a show, sitting back on his heels and slowly continuing your work in unbuttoning his shirt.

Apart from his skin being exposed the simple act of opening some buttons shouldn't drive you as crazy as it does right now. It's simply the sexiest thing you have ever seen in your life. The way his hooded eyes stay on yours the entire time while one button after another falls open under his practiced movements.

You are moving on autopilot when you also sit up to take off your own shirt. You simply can't delay this any further. As your shirt lands somewhere beside the bed, San lets out a small groan, surprising you. He stopped in the middle of folding down his sleeves.

"How did you know that purple was my favourite colour?" He asks in a raspy voice. His eyes are raking over your deep purple bra with a desire in them that lets shivers run over your skin.

You can't imagine a better way to find out his favourite colour. You only chose it because it accentuates your skin tone but now it feels like fate to you. Finally, you are getting to the edges of Choi San. Getting to know him on a level that you were craving like the air you needed to breath.

"Good intuition," you reply. Your confidence surges under his heavy glances. Maybe a little too much. "Need help with that?" you ask him teasingly with a nod towards his shirt, which hangs open around his toned torso.

As soon as you speak those words you are getting pinned back to the bed, San's hand suddenly wrapped around your neck. He isn't putting any pressure on it yet but you can feel his strength pulsating around your neck. His broad shoulders are taking up most of your vision and with the way he glares at you you just know that you are soaked.

"Don't get too bold with me, darling," he says in a warning tone. "I'm the one in charge."

You look up at him through big, round eyes, lashes fluttering because you have a feeling that it will push just the right buttons in him.

"Go ahead then," you reply firmly. "Do whatever you want to me."

San sits up again and roughly tugs on his sleeves, finally discarding his shirt fully. Then his lips are on yours again in a heartbeat.

You greedily let your hands wander over his now fully exposed upper body. The muscles playing under his skin feel so good as he buries his hands in your hair. His biceps is so big that your fingers can barely wrap around it halfway. You can't get enough of touching his body which so far you only admired in fitted dressing shirts.

San kisses his way down from your lips again but this time he doesn't stop at your neck. Continuing down your chest he kisses the tender skin between your breasts. When he takes both hands to squish your breasts together, burying his face in between, you lose your last bit of composure.

"Please, San. Please just fuck me."

He lifts his head to smile at you devilishly. The fire behind his eyes seems so bright that you're scared it will never burn down again.

"Already begging for me? You're still half dressed and I'm only starting. Have a little patience."

As he finishes his words, his hand snakes behind your back to open your bra in a swift motion. He peels the straps off of you with a new found patience that makes you feel like you are suffocating.

When the piece of clothing lands on the floor, San's eyes are glued to your chest. Slowly, he lowers himself down again, gently taking on of your nipples into his mouth. As soon as his tongue starts lapping at you a string of moans escape you. He just feels so good.

Without ever losing focus on kissing and nipping on your chest, one of his hands wanders to your skirt. He finds the zipper so easily it feels like he has studied undressing you. He pushes it down your legs quickly, leaving you only in your underwear.

As his hand starts stroking your inner thighs, your eyes roll to the back of your head. He feels like a dream.

"Please San. Please touch me," the words leave your mouth in whispers. Silent pleas for him to finally give you what you want.

"Is my darling so stressed from studying that she needs her mind taken off of things?" His fingers trail over your clothed heat as he asks you in a sickly sweet voice. His eyes are focussed on your face, taking in how you crumble beneath his touch.

"Yes. Yes, please," you whimper desperately. Every touch feels like electricity on your skin.

"Want me to stuff you full so you can forget everything you've studied for for weeks?" He pushes your panties to the side, his fingers toying at your entrance.

"Please San..." you repeat yourself weakly. Finally he gives into your pleading and sinks two of his fingers into you. You are so wet that they glide in with ease. You suck in a harsh breath as he begins pumping them in and out of you.

"God you feel so good. Can't wait to fuck you, my darling. Bury my cock so deep into you you forget your own name."

His words make you shake beneath him. You had a lot of suspicions about San in the bedroom due to your extensive daydreaming about him. But never did you expect him to be so vocal and downright dirty with his words. It catches you off-guard and only heightens your pleasure.

San scoots up on the bed a little so his face is hovering over yours again, while he slips a third finger into your heat. "How do I feel?" he asks with a raspy tone to his voice.

"You feel so fucking good, San," you moan in answer. His fingers stretch you out so deliciously and he reaches this spot deep inside you that makes you arch your back with every thrust.

"Yeah, you wanna come on my fingers?" he rasps into your ear now, lips again attaching to your neck, sucking deep marks into your skin.

"Please, San." You feel like a broken record that's repeating the same thing over and over. You grow closer and closer to an orgasm with every motion of his fingers inside you. But San has other plans for you. And when he feels you desperately clenching around his fingers, he pulls them out of you.

"I'm sorry darling," he says immediately, even though his face doesn't display any regret. "But you look so pretty when you're desperate. And I want you to come on my cock when I make you fall apart for the first time."

You feel like crying. You want nothing more but to come and yet him taking it from you only makes you want him more. You would do anything for Choi San.

He stands up from the bed and opens his belt. But before he can take of his pants, he orders you over with a motion of his finger. You sit on your knees at the edge of the bed in seconds, looking up at him expectantly.

He doesn't say a word and only gestures for his painfully strained pants. You don't need any more hints to start opening his pants and pulling them down his legs desperately. You hook your fingers into his boxers too but look up at him once more before continuing. When he nods at you you finally pull them down as well.

You can't help but stare at San's length. He's big, just like you had always imagined and he was rock-hard. When San takes himself into his hand and gives himself a few strokes you open your mouth on your own, sticking out your tongue in anticipation of tasting him.

San starts gently. His other hand weaves into your hair and he pulls you onto his length slowly. You are able to take a good amount of him before his tip hits the back of your throat and you release a surprised moan. San closes his eyes momentarily as he relishes in the feeling of your hot mouth around him.

"Shit, you feel so good," he rasps out before he starts thrusting in and out of your mouth. Your hands seek hold on his muscular thighs and you look up at San through big and pleading eyes. Even though he isn't pleasuring you, this almost feels as good as having him bury his fingers inside you. All you ever dreamed about was him using you just like this and the feeling of it happening is so intoxicating you feel like you might pass out any second.

"Look at you enjoying my cock so damn much, that your eyes are losing focus," San chuckles. He looks down at you in disbelief as you mindlessly swirl your tongue around his cock. "You love being ruined by me, don't you?"

You can only manage a desperate nod and approving grunt as you continue sucking him of. No man has ever made you this desperate. As you look at him from beneath you feel like you have accomplished everything you ever wanted: his hair was dishevelled, his breaths uneven and a red tint painted his cheeks. All in all, Choi San lost his perfectly maintained appearance as you sucked on his cock and to you he looked 100 times prettier this way.

When his thrusts go sloppy, he pulls out of your mouth in a haste before he can come. "You're driving me crazy, darling," he grunts as he catches his breath for a second. In a more gentle tone he resumes: "Lay back on the bed for me, ok?"

You do as he says, laying down on your back in the middle of the bed, your body buzzing with the anticipation of what is to come. San goes to his dresser, opening a drawer to get a condom.

When he climbs over you he looks at you intensely. But at the same time his eyes hold a softness that makes you feel secure.

"Are you sure about going on, y/n?" he asks warmly. No petnames this time. He wants a clear answer.

"Never been so sure in my life," you reply with a smile and his lips mirror yours as he beams down at you.

Quickly he sits up to open the condom and roll it onto his member. Opening your legs with his knee he situates himself between you and positions his cock at your entrance. One hand on your hip and the other holding his cock, he slowly sinks himself into you while carefully observing your face.

Your eyes flutter when he is fully inside of you and you moan at the feeling. San releases a grunt as well and waits a few seconds deep inside of you.

"Fuck, you're so tight for me, my darling. Don't worry I won't stop this time until you come." And with that he starts thrusting into you. He begins with slow and deep thrusts but as soon as you get used to his size he speeds up rapidly.

His abs are flexing underneath is skin as he grabs onto your hip and pistons himself into you. With every thrust you can feel him hit this spongy part deep inside of you that makes heat build in your core with a throbbing intensity. Meanwhile you revel in the sight above you: San looks like a god. His muscular body moving above you is almost enough to push you over the edge but what's even more entrancing is his face. His expressions seem almost possessed. Like a demon took over him as soon as he started fucking you, he fixes his eyes onto yours.

"Am I fucking you good? Making you forget all your precious studies?" There they are again. His filthy words driving you down a one-way-road to insanity. "I hope you forget everything so you have to see me even more, darling. Then I can keep on fucking this tight little cunt over and over again."

"Fuck, San!" you moan out, being shocked by his words. His control over you is baffling and you can't help but grow closer and closer to your orgasm with every word.

"I know you like me like that, darling. Do me a favour and come on my cock so I can finally see you lose yourself will you?"

You can't form an answer. Endless moans tumble out of your mouth in increasing volume and San knows he has you exactly where he wants.

"Come for me."

Your orgasm hits you with an explosive intensity. Faintly, you notice yourself moan at a concerning volume as your high washes over your body. But San doesn't seem to mind. Your legs are shaking and he helps you ride out the feeling with slower strokes. He waits for your breath to slow down again before he leans down to you and places a gentle kiss onto your lips.

"I want you on your knees in front of me," he says sweetly as soon as your lips separate and your head is spinning. Still you manage to get up with the help of his arm beneath your waist and you let yourself be positioned in front of San, your back to him.

Since you didn't have the opportunity to examine his bedroom earlier you only now notice the big mirror on his wardrobe next to his bed. Looking ahead, you can now see yourself on your knees, sitting in front of San.

You look even more dishevelled than you feel: Your hair is all over the place and some of your eyeliner smudged and a handful of dark purple marks littering your neck. Also, a red tint covers your skin, making you look flushed. San behind you smirks as you examine your own figure.

"You look so pretty all messed up like this for me, don't you think?"

His arm wraps around your waist as he leans your body back onto his broad chest. You look tiny in front of his build.

"I'll make you look even prettier," he promises as he sinks himself back into you.

He picks up his intense pace from before and you already feel dizzy again. With his arm holding you tight he is basically lifting you up and down his cock. At this angle he is hitting you deeper than before and you are sure you won't last very long until your next high.

But nothing could've prepared you for the feeling of San winding his other arm around you too, his fingers gently starting to stroke your clit. Your head falls back onto San's shoulder as you give in to the mind-numbing pleasure that starts buzzing through your body.

"Keep your eyes on me, darling. I want to watch you fall apart."

His voice sounds sulky, almost cute. It doesn't match his relentless thrusts and his fingers pleasuring you. It takes all your strength to lift your head again and look at San through the mirror. His eyes are hooded now, a shin layer of sweat making his flawless skin shine in the evening light.

"You make me feel so good," you manage to say as San keeps on pounding into you. You want him to know how he makes you feel. How good he is being to you.

"Am I?" He smiles in satisfaction as he watches your brows draw together with a particularly deep thrust. "You too, darling. You feel so good around me I don't think I can last much longer. But you'll come one more time for me, right?"

His voice sounds so deep and sultry in your ears. "Of course, Sannie," you mumble absent-mindedly. You don't even notice the nickname until he chuckles behind you.

"How can you be so cute and so sexy at the same time? You'll be the death of me, my good little girl."

He places a kiss onto your cheek and that is what finally drives you over the edge.

"Fuck, San. I'm coming," you moan out before your high crashes over you. If he wasn't holding you, you would fall to the ground. You try to hold eye contact with San through the reflection but your eyes keep on shutting as waves of pleasure roll over you. You have never felt such an intensity before.

But San's thrust don't slow down this time. He keeps on rutting into you relentlessly, driving you to insanity. You feel like you're swimming in a pool of pleasure.

"I'm close, darling. Just a little longer," San's voice is pitched higher than before, sounding just as desperate as you feel. You want nothing more but for him to come.

"Please, Sannie. I want you to come so bad."

Your desperate pleas are San's final straw. Clutching your body tight to his own, he finishes with his cock buried deep inside you. You can feel him pulsating in your heat and your moans mix into his grunts as you milk him for every last drop of his cum.

As you both slowly recover San pulls out of you and gently lays you back onto the bed. You can't do anything but catch your breath while he gets up to rid himself of the condom and return to you with a glass of water.

"Drink something," he urges you on and you take the glass from him. He watches you with a tinge of worry in his eyes. After taking a few sips you offer the glass back to him.

"You should drink some too, I'm sure you worked your body more than I did."

He smiles at your words and takes some water too before returning the glass to his bedside table. When he looks back at you there is a heaviness to his gaze that worries you.

"What is it?" you ask.

San takes a deep breath before answering you. "No matter what I said to you before, I actually didn't expect us to tumble into this as quickly as we did right now. And I want you to know that I didn't do this to use you or take any advantage of you."

His hand nervously grabs for the back of his neck. "Actually, I've been interested in you ever since we first met but I fear the tension between us was quicker than both of us."

You try to process his words even in your hazy state of mind. A spark of excitement surges through your body as you realize what he is saying.

"I feel the same, San," you reply truthfully. "I like you. And not just because you're insanely handsome."

You are glad when he laughs shyly at your words.

"So maybe I can take you out on a date that doesn't involve work or pharmacy studies sometime?"

"I hope sometime means this week, because I waited long enough for you already."

After everything that happened this evening, this moment when he smiles at you might be what makes your heart beat the fastest. You can't believe your luck as you look Choi San into the eyes and he leans in for a kiss.

-----------------

"This was a stupid idea," you say to San but maybe more to yourself. "I should tell her alone."

"How will she ever respect me again if I let you do this alone?" San replies worriedly. "She told me to tutor you and now here we are. I will look terrible either way."

You have never seen him this nervous. But after all, your mother has the ability to make everybody scared for their life. You two pass her assistant's desk with a polite greeting as you head straight for your mother's office. She knows you are coming but she doesn't know you're bringing company.

You knock carefully on the door until her voice calls you in. Your mother stays seated as you two enter the room. She doesn't look surprised or confused about San's appearance but rather intrigued.

"Why are you visiting me today, y/n?" she asks simply.

Your heart is beating out of your chest as you prepare for answering.

"I have something to announce to you," you start off as confident as you can.

Your mother's eyes flick between you and San. "Go on."

"San- ... Mr. Choi and I, we are..." your voice is shaking. Why is this so hard for you?

But San grabs for your hand, linking his fingers with yours as he confidently finishes your sentence: "We are in a relationship, director Kim."

His boldness strikes you as admiring. Maybe he was right about accompanying you.

A silence that draws out unbearably long fills the room. You feel like your lungs are being compressed with every passing second.

Then your mother smiles. It's not exactly a smile of happiness. It speaks more of victory.

"Finally," she announced. "It took you two longer than I expected."

Now it's your turn to be silent. Both you and San are stunned in your places.

Finally you find your voice to ask: "What do you mean, mom?"

She smiles at you in satisfaction.

"You see: Mr. Choi is a good man. He's a gentleman, treats his colleagues with the utmost respect, excels at his job and is handsome too. How could I find a better match for my beloved daughter? But I know you wouldn't be interested if I were to formerly introduce you two so I thought I'd help you in a different way."

Your mouth falls open in shock. Out of all things, your mother purposefully setting you up with San has never even crossed your mind. Your boyfriend seems even more shocked at the revelation than you, his face reddened and a stunned expression on his face.

"So you set us two up?" You finally ask your mother.

"Of course I did! And it worked out brilliantly, don't you think? I'm glad you both came to tell me. Mr. Choi?"

San perks up at her words. "Yes?"

"I assume you will take good care of my daughter?"

"Of course I will," he replies sternly, voice full of sincerity. "I will do everything care for y/n." His words make you feel warm and fuzzy.

Your mother nods approvingly. "Then you two may leave. I still have work to do."

You both nod hastily and thank your mother before turning back for the door.

"Oh, before I forget. Y/n?" your mother asks one last time.

"Yes?"

"I received your test results that you sent me. They look very promising."

I hope you enjoyed <3 Pls reblog and leave feedback if you can :)

Tags: @voicesinmyhead-rc

#ateez x reader #ateez fic #ateez fanfic #ateez smut #beginningofwonderland #smut fanfic #ateez fanfiction #san smut #san x y/n #san x reader #san fanfic #san x you

2K notes · View notes

errihaienx · 1 year

Text

part two !

Rintarō Suna reminded himself that he needed to be more patient with the miyas because you'd been so very close to them. He's been keeping his biggest crush on you hidden for years, and he's not going to tell either of the twins about it.

you initially met and became friends with osamu, but his twin, atsumu, was a bit closer to you now because of his more cheery nature. suna was aware of this, which is why he continues to keep up with 'atsumus shits'.

like now, atsumu's been whining for ten minutes now and it seemed like it won't end anytime soon. suna glanced at you, your bright smile made his heart thump. he's well damned annoyed to atsumu's nonstop talks but seeing you laugh and make fun of the blond guy erased his inward curses towards the older twin.

"been tryna get her digits but she friggin' ignored me?!?" atsumu whined.

"hey don't be too upset 'tsumu, maybe you're not her type? we girls have types, you know.. "

suna listened intently to everything you said; he's interested, so very curious. he looked at you again, and this time you caught his gaze.

damn she's lookin' at me, can we just kiss already? were his first thoughts. still staring at each other, he slowly gave you a nod, and you smiled in return. he planned on making the eye contact last longer but atsumu-the-forever-interfering-bastard got in his way, he snatched your attention, well he better say something interesting!

"oh what's yer type then?" atsumu curiously asked, and suna can't believe it but he's actually praising atsumu for asking that. his intervening was a bit helpful after all.

although he's eager to know your 'type' he's nervous as hell, many variables have been crossing his mind. what if you're too specific on your type and it seems like you were describing someone? how could he handle that? or what if he's literally to far from your standards?

"uhm.." you sucked in a breath before your gaze went to suna, he was staring back so you looked away.

"you're literally the opposite of my type 'tsumu," you responded, stealing some glances to the fox-eyed boy.

"like suna?" osamu interrupted.

atsumu gasped, your eyes widened, suna coughed, and osamu deadpanned.

"what?" osamu added, his brow shot up.

no one dared to talk so atsumu laughed, "'samu yer such a mood killer" which made the younger twin show up a middle finger.

suna couldn't look at you and so are you, the twins are really troublesome. suna's thoughts were bombarded with many questions and what ifs.

after a little while had passed and you had decided to walk a different route from the other three, you waved and bid them farewell. suna's eyes were fixed to the ground, refusing to look at you as atsumu hugged you. osamu waved in response.

atsumu smirked and whispered, "hey yer such a sly fox, ya been crushin' on her don't ya?"

"shut up douchebag" = yeah bastard, it's been fuckin' years

"how can ya be noisy 'n nosy at the same time?"

"fuck off 'samu! ya know damn well that i'm ^@#^@#^@#&^#^&#@"

suna disregarded atsumu's following litanies because he was preoccupied with you—with your soothing voice, your beautiful face, and the sparkling eyes he was able to capture looking back at him.

to get closer to you, he'll have to increase his patience with the twins from now on.

this was just another random thought since I'm inlove with Sunrin lol. Anyway, I'll be reaching 100 followers very soon and I can't wait to share the content I've been working on for this milestone! Thank you very much. Always be careful, my loves!

#haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #hq suna #hq fluff #suna rintaro imagine #omg i love suna #suna x reader #suna rintarō #suna headcanons #suna rintaro headcanons #I LOVE HIM SO MUCH #suna rintarou #suna rintaro x reader #suna rintaro haikyuu

741 notes · View notes

kurosstuff · 1 year

Note

Hello, how are you doing? :)

Since requesrts are open and your writing is marvelous, I wanted to request an Azula x gn reader oneshot/fic where reader is a childhood friend who grew distant to Azula over time, but is now chosen to be her fiancé in an arranged marriage.

You don't have to write it, but I still hope you likr the idea!

Have a great day ^^

Hi! I'm doing better at least! Thank you so much♡ It means so much to me to hear you like my writing!

I'd like to apologize for not writing this sooner- was taking a break with long fics- and idk how accurate azula is still- haven't watched fhe show in so long-! Also hope I got Ozai ok? Never wrote anything with him in it before I don't think

I got carried away♡.. this came out as more of a reconnection type thing? Eh- maybe that's good?

Summary: read ask♡

Warnings(?): azula being azula, reader freaks out/panics alot, ozai, soft(?) Azula(she's like kinda nice sometimes); slight angst. Misunderstanding(but not really), friends to strangers to lovers(?), both reader AND azula are oblivious on how they really feel,

Azula x G/N reader: arranged

Being azulas friend had its ups and downs

Mostly downs

"Oh, come on, Y/N. Don't such a kid, " Azula grumbled, trying to get you to stay still. She read a trick where if someone still stays, a firebender can hit the target above the person's head without any injury. In a book for children for whatever reason. "I'd never hurt you," which is partly true - Azula wouldn't hurt you on purpose, or she would - you weren't actually sure

But like time- friendships come and go.

As you grew older, you saw how awful of a person Azula was turning out to be. How cruel of a person she truly was - how little care she had for another being - even her own brother. Seeing how she was amused and not concerned for her brother during the Agni Kai- you decided enough was enough.

This 'friendship' was becoming too dangerous too frightening. You were aware you can't just up and end the friendship you decided to distance yourself from her. Feeling confident, she wouldn't notice the change

You weren't sure if she ever noticed- if by chance she did. She never said or gave the indication she knew. After a couple of months, you stopped coming around to hang out.

You felt bad, but you believed this was for the best.

It's been almost a three full year when you received the letter. One you'd overlook if it weren't for the very specific golden charm closing the envelope showing it was from the royal family. Usually, being given this letter is either an honor or.. something much worse. Swallowing down your nerves, you sat down staring at the envelope for almost an eternity. Opening it carefully, you begain to read.

Everything seemed normal in the letter besides the fact you are to be summoned to the Fire Lord himself for something. Totally normal. Not like your gonna die or anything. Be shipped off to war maybe? You'd 100% are not worried.

Nope.

Rushing to get ready, you practically jumped in the air in Fright when you heard the knocking on the door. Your nerves were shot, and this whole thing was just making it worse.

You almost hoped to not see her there. But that'd be impossible since she lived there. Opening the door two guards stood infront of you looking at you sternly.

"Are you Y/N?" Nodding your head yes- you didn't trust your voice at the moment. They turned and gestured to follow "come. We will escort you to the Palace"

You don't remember anything on the way there - it was all a blur - you blame it on your nerves, but it did help distract from the imitating Palace. Until you got there. The two guards stepped out and opened the door for you - following them the huge door to the Palace opened slowly with a creek. You took a deep breath and stepped in- turning you watched as the doors closed, sealing your fate. Locking you in - A sound of someone clearing their throat caught your attention

"This way," following closely, you dared not speak, not trusting your voice - and for the fact your throat was so dry a word couldn't get out when if you wished it.

Being led by two fully armed guards was almost as unnerving as the lack of decorations in the halls leading to the Fire Lords office. It was devoid of anything to show the human side of him - if there was any. The only lights shown were from flames - obviously, one's from the Fire Lord himself probably made. The only sounds you could hear was the sound of your heart beating harshly in your ears and the metal taps of the swords on the guards.

Stopping in front of huge double doors, they turned to you unblinking. "He's inside." Was all they said before they opened the doors for you. Once you stepped in they shut loudly the candles blowing out closest to you leaving you alone in the dark- minus the glow of flamed down the hall. Clenching your hands you took a deep breath and tried to relax-

The closer you got to the flames- the more the urge to run as far as you could got worse- alarm bells ringing in your head at the thought of this all going wrong. Something practically 100% possible. Even on his good days, he would be cruel. Stopping in front of the flame wall blocking you from the full view of the man himself - Fire Lord Ozai. His face covered in the shadows from how he sat, but the flames didn't hide how terrifyingly huge he looked - bowing in respect you were about to great him- before he put his hand up to stop you

"Do you know why I asked you here?"

It took you a moment to gain the courage to respond - surprisingly, he allowed you the moment - as if he thought you actually knew the reason. "No, Fire Lord Ozai. I do not. " A deep hum was all you got in return - fabric moved, glancing up, you gulped.

He stood up.

Walking towards you, the flames moved, almost glinding out of his way like a door - he stood before you. Moving his hand in a gesture, you understood to stand straight up , your eyes cast away in respectfear. Walking around you in a circle.

Like a predator hunting his prey. He stood in front of you again after a moment. "Yes. You are perfect." The odd complaint from him did nothing to ease you - seeing your confusion, he hummed."There's an arrangement. Obviously, your Father never told you." The look you held did nothing to stop him,"the arrangement was. His firstborn was to marry my firstborn." The words he spoke caused a mixed sense of emotions in you- confusion, anxiousness. And fear from what was your next thought.

His firstborn was banished.

"But. Giving the events that unfolded with my firstborn. The agreement changed a bit. You will marry my second born."

Clicks of footsteps echoed behind you. You didn't dare look behind you.

"You are to marry my daughter- Azula. Whom I was made aware you were friends of sorts." Turning away, he walked back to his throne. "You will be Wed in two months."

Behind you, someone cleared their throat, turning around, and froze. Azula stood arms crossed, staring at you - almost glaring from how narrowed her eyes were. The same smug smirk from years ago is still present. She almost didn't seem to change much but all the more terrifying. Even if deep down you were happy to see her

"Well. Hello Y/N, " she spoke, voice coming out in a condescending purr. "It seems like we have some catching up to do." Turning, she gestured you to follow her

You followed Azula to her room. You've been in it once before, but that was years ago. Before you felt comfortable - now you felt uneasy - tense about the whole thing. Standing far away from the bed but close enough, you looked around the room - it looks the same as it did, but with some added things such as plants and a new dresser replacing the old silver one she used to own.

Azula sat on her bed, pulling some books out to go through every once in a while, looking up at you - face unreadable. Shows how much has changed before you could tell what she was thinking even if she wouldn't show it - now it's like she's a new person - and in a way, she is.

"What's the matter with you?" Azula asked(more like demanded), looking over at her- Azula seemingly growing frustrated at the books in her hands- what about you weren't sure. Turning towards you with eyebrow raised an annoyed look on her face. You haven't answered her yet

"Oh- uh, nothing. Why?" Humming she placed the book down on her lap- gesturing towards the bed. Getting the message you sat down on the edge. She sat silent for a moment before sighing.

"Look." She started after a while. She took a second to think her response through - it was an odd sight. Azula glanced at you- raising an eyebrow at the unnerved state you were in. Standing up, she walked to her counter. "I get it. The situation we're in is weird. " Pulling some object out, she turned to face you. Handing it to you. It looked like a squishy turtle duck

Seeing the confusion on your face when you took it, she sighed, facing away from you once the look of realization hit you. "You always needed something to hold to calm down when you got like this." She spoke, sitting down beside you. Turning it around the squish toy was the same one you were given- and forgot about years ago. When you and Azula were close. The same accidental burn mark on the shell of the toy. You still remember how she gave it too you

Sitting on the bench, you held your hurt, burning hand crying. Clutching them close - you knew you shouldn't have let Azula talk you into doing such a trick.

A dangerous trick - yet she did. And here you sat hurt.

And alone.

Hurried footsteps came from behind you - you knew those footsteps. Sitting upright, you used your uninjured hand to whip the tears away harshly. You didn't want to give Azula another reason to tease you.

"There you are" she spoke. Sitting next to you she held something behind her. Face slightly flushed from either embarrassment or what you didn't know- nor gave it much thought once a toy was shoved in your face "here- I. I heard from the towns people that a thing called a 'squishy' helps calm people down. Brings comfort or whatever. So take it. It's yours" Holding it in your hand you smiled tearfully. Azula looked like she practically softened before she turned to your hand- huffing she gestured for it

"we need to clean this."

The memory brought a happy smile to your face. Looking up, you saw the quick look of relief on Azulas face before it hardened. "..you kept it?" A shrug was all you got in response for a moment

"Of course I did." Azula mumbled before clearing her throat, brushing you off without a word. Turning away from you - Azula was silent as you messed with the squishy in your hand. Turning towards you, she opened her mouth before shutting it. This caused to pause - Azula never hesitates, nor does she stop until she gets what she wants. Somethings wrong

Before you could ask, a knock came at the door. After giving permission, a maid came in bowing, "My lady, your training room is ready for you." A wave of her hand and the maid ran off hurriedly down the hall.

"You're coming with me." Azula spoke standing. She walked to the door, glancing back at you - an eyebrow arched. Obviously she was waiting for you to follow. Trying to swallow your nerves you jumped up putting the squish on the bed before turning to follow Azula.

The walk was quiet

Entering the training room a couple test dummies stood around the room. Arms stretched out like you used to see from the target practice dummies you'd come acrossed before.

"Sit there- I'll be back" Azula pointed towards some benches a bit far off- you sighed- it's better to just let her do what she says half the time anyways.

After you sat on the bench, Azula moved to the changing room. Her mind jumbled. Scattered around, and she couldn't think of a good reason as to why. Pacing back and forth, she clenched her jaw angrily

Azula was panicking on the inside - ever since she found out it was you, she was to marry. Even worse when she saw you. Would she be a horrible wife? Be like her father and treat her spouse horribly to the point of another abandonment? No. She won't be like him. Azula refuses to treat the one she's bound to in such a way - even Azula isn't that cruel of a person. She's not soft - she's not kind either. She knows the reason why you left her even if you didn't say.

It was her fault

Learning the first choice of who you were originally gonna be married to didn't help her feel good at all. Did you know you were gonna marry her brother? That you left cause of that? The selfish, selfish side of Azula prayed that was the real reason you left. She knows it's not, but it's just easier to think

She wants to prove that she's the best choice - the only choice. Of course, the arranged part of the marriage didn't make her feel happy made her feel horrible. If you were to marry her, she'd want it to be of your free will - not be forced.

Azula stopped pacing. What? Why is that the thing she's focused on. Blinking she crossed her arms. Of course the thought of someone being forced to marry her set an uneasy feeling inside her, but. The thought of marrying you wasn't bad at all-

Why is that? It makes no sense why Azula was and still is hung up on a loss of a friend. The loss of you since the beginning was horrible. It made her sick- she'd admit it only to herself now that she missed you- but.. why does she feel relief from the thought of marrying you? Was it cause she knew you?

Shaking her head she quickly got dressed

Fiddling with your thumbs, you glanced around the room - thankfully, in a more relaxed mood. Your heart no longer felt like leaping out of your chest. The whole area was spotless- which wasn't a surpise given how certain people would react to a messy training hall. You shuddered at the memory.

Looking over when the door opened, your face flushed a bit. Azula was already looking your way when she came out. Without a word, she stepped up and moved the dummies a bit before she begins she started to stretch. Standing straight she smirked back at you.

"Keep those eyes on me," she begain her training. Hitting the dummies far back with a punch in the air- blue flames came out in a flicker illuminating her air and passing some of the training dummies closest- but surprisingly never touching them. Only hitting her target

It wasn't much of a surpise on how good of a fighter Azula was- but you can't help but you can't help but still be surprised at how well she can control her flames. You've seen fire benders fight and train before, this wasn't the first- but it was the first seeing just how different she was to the others. If anyone else tried this. Tried to hit the target from the farthest to the front. 100% the flames passing the others would be hit and burned, but for Azula- it was like it never touched.

The more she hit and kicked, the more in awe you were in watching. If anything, it looked like a dance you'd see from how fluent and confident Azula moved to attack.

As quick as she began, the training ended. Azula walked towards you, and she didn't even break a sweat- even her hair was kept in place even though she was hitting and kicking. Standing infront of you she crossed her arms almost smirking. "Well?" She spoke with an eyebrow raised

"You were perfect! How did you even do that?"

"I'm a natural. No trouble at all" Azula spoke smugly- she wasn't gonna tell you how long it took for her to get the attack right when she was younger. Everything needs to be perfect. Azula hummed, interrupting your praise for a moment. "..We added more flowers to the garden. I'll show you" she spoke almost oddly. The praise you gave her felt weird- but it filled her ego. Of course it was perfect.

This was Azula

Nothing less than perfect no matter what.

She turned to leave to redress ignoring your call.

"We'll go once I come back"

The garden wasn't totally different from how it was since the last time you saw it. The tree in the middle has grown much older but still hanging strong - a knew bench was placed near it, giving the tree and pond underneath. The sun hitting perfectly in-between the leafs and from the rocks below made it have almost a glow to it.

Looking around, the bushes nearby were cut in the specific square way the Fire Lord himself seemed to prefer rather than the rounded ones. Stopping once you heard quaking noises. A smile came over your face, walking to the center pond. You knelt down, looking at the turtle ducks

"Here. You can feed them if you'd like" Azula spoke, holding a small bag of bread out. Thanking her you took it and started to break them up. Azula watched her eyes softening at the sight.

Azula couldn't put her finger on what was wrong with her. Was it her nerves? Why does this scene in front of her make her feel off? The way you're kneeling in front of the turtle ducks the way you gently fed them. The way the lowering sub hits your face. Blinking, she scowled, looking away from you. Looking out to the pond on the other side

"Do you want to feed one, Azula?" Not getting a response, you looked over, frowning at what you saw.

Azula looked almost troubled by something. "Azula?" Calling out to her gave no help. It was like she was here but not here at the moment. Calling out to her again in a softer tone to not startle her- she blinked at you slowly before registering where she was. Standing up, you watched her closely

"Azula. Are you ok?"

Azula just nodded slowly. A moment passes before she bits her tongue. A question on the tip of her tongue. She doesn't want to ask. But she has to. She needs to if she really wants to not be like her father. Not in this way at least

"Are we still friends?" Azula asked before she could stop. "Like I know this is an arrangement but. Are we?"

You didn't responded right away. Just stood there thinking. The way she looked at you- you couldn't tell what she was thinking. It was like looking at a new person. Slowly nodding your head "yes we are." You bit your lip in thought "can we have a do over? From how things ended-" it was a selfish thing to ask. To pretend you didn't just disappear from her life.

Azula nodded her head

"Then.. we can start over?" You said, looking away from Azula for a moment - turning back to look at her - her gaze was on the pond in front of you both.

"Don't see why not. We're not getting married for a couple of months, so we have time"

#azula x reader #avatar x reader #azula #atla x reader #azula kept the squish toy totally not cause it reminded her of you and she missed you alot #and she totally didnt keep it in good condition cause she hopped youd comw back♡#idk i kinda added the panic/squish thinf cause i was panicky earlier and wished i had something like that♡#so um♡ hope you dont mind #this is more of a rebuilding of a relationship and more type thing #like- idk??

396 notes · View notes

mydarllinglover · 5 months

Text

Playing Favourites || One

That dreaded time had come, once again, Reaping Day, for the 69th year in a row.

Cove wasn't worried, she wasn't a career, even if her name managed to be picked, someone would volunteer for her, right? They'd have to.

It wasn't often that District 4 had volunteers, but considering Cove had dropped out the academy, she had high hopes someone was willing to take her spot.

"Where've you been, girl?" Cove's father asked, as she walked through the front door, wringing out her wet hair.

"Decided to take an early morning swim, burn off my nerves." She huffed, making her way towards the bathroom. "Peacemakers are here, by the way."

"Already?" He asked.

"Yeah, Dad, not long now." She sighed

"It won't be the same, it can't." He muttered to himself. "I can't lose her too."

"It won't, there's a 6 in what? 10 thousand?" Cove shrugged, coming up with a random estimate of 12-18 year olds in her district, out of the 100 thousand population. "I'll be fine, I promise. 'Sides, its the last one, then we're free."

She didn't really believe these odds, but she had to keep a front for her father, he had been broken since the incident, that had happened three years ago, where she had lost her brother, and her mother, only a week apart.

She remembered it, well, it wasn't something that was exactly hard to forget, both had happened right in front of her very eyes.

Her brother being brutally massacred, when he had made it so far into his games, all he had to do was beat those four tributes, and he would've been home, but the second he accidently shown vulnerability, he helped that kid, his story was over, just like that, her parents and herself were gathered around the TV as it happened, sobbing and yelling, trying to wake up from the nightmare.

Her mothers pain had turned to anger, she had been petitioning and striking all around the district, for a stop to the games, and on the same day, the following week, her mother was hung, for the whole district to see, as a warning, the games would never end, and rebellions would be diminished.

But it wasn't just her family, that she had lost to the Hunger Games, her friend from school, Finnick Odair, the sensation that he was, had been reaped and won his games, at only fourteen, the youngest ever, he was loved by the Capital, and since winning, and moving to the Victor Village, he had no time for his life from before, no time for her. They had hardly seen each other, his first year, and she couldn't move past the images of him taking those other children's lives' on repeat, in her head.

After her brother, Finnick had taken all measures possible, to avoid the girl, a notable memory, had been a few months after the games, she was working in Shrimps Café, the boy had walked in, and as soon as he layed eyes on her, before either could blink, he was back out the door, she had never seen him in there, since.

She wondered if he felt guilty, since becoming a Mentor, knowing that these people's lives were in his hands, and it was up to him whether they died or became murderers, maybe that's why he had gone out of his way to avoid her, for three whole years, knowing the pain he had caused her and her father, for he had been there too, when her mother was hung, she had spotted him, that day, in the crowd.

Once the seawater had been rinsed out of Cove's hair, she reluctantly got dressed for the Reaping.

She had chosen a pale blue silk dress, that complemented her well, throwing an crocheted off-white sweater over the top.

She did her best to tame her wild blonde curls, but being drenched in saltwater, and bleached from the sun, over the years, hadn't been the best thing for her hair, so she brushed through them with her hands, untangling any knots, letting her hair stay down, to air dry.

She then sprayed her mothers perfume along her body, letting the scent bring back warm memories of the woman, she only ever wore it on special occasions, or reaping day.

Cove sat down on her bed, hugging her stuffed shark to her chest, the one she had since she was a child, as she waited for the time to pass.

The 69th Hunger Games, all those children that have died, for something they had no hand in, it made Cove feel sick at the thought, her brother was one of them, and now, another unlucky twenty three, would be joining him and all the others.

When enough time had passed, Cove placed down her stuffed shark, getting up from her bed, and leaving her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"Dad...It's time." She tried to keep her voice steady, as she leaned against the door frame of their living room, he hadn't moved since she first entered the house. "Daddy, it'll be okay."

"I can't lose you, too." He began to sob. It was the same, every year, since her brothers passing.

Cove holding her father together, as if it were him being sent to his death, each year.

"We're going to be late, it's okay, here, Grap was kind enough to sneak me this." She handed her father a small vile, morphling, she was willing to try anything, to keep her father from causing a scene, or even his death, to this day, they still had eyes on them, after what her mother had done to their reputation. "It'll make you feel better, I promise."

Her fathers red rimmed eyes fell on her, and then her outstretched hand.

He sighed as he took it, unstopping it, and downing the lot.

Cove held her fathers hand tightly, as they walked down to the Square, outside the justice building, together, ignoring the onlookers, and the whispers, from the other residents of district 4.

Cove had worked hard, over the years, to make a name for herself, not the girl who's brother died during the games, or the daughter of the hanged and widowed.

She made friends with every tradesperson in district 4, she took on as much jobs as she could, and even doing volunteer work, for others. Every Thursday, Friday and Saturday night, she sang in the Tavern for the people, she loved singing, and apparently, others liked her voice, too, as she always seemed to have good feedback.

Though, Cove was popular with the community, her father had become a hermit, since the passing, he rarely left the house, he was a shell of the man he once was, no one in their district held any respect for him, especially after what he had let his wife do, and then with how his wife had passed.

Begrudgingly, she kissed her fathers cheek, letting go, and pointing him in the direction of where he should stand, in the crowd, as she lined up behind the other children.

"Name?" One of the registerers asked.

"Cove, Cove Tippet." She answered, holding out her right index finger.

The man took hold of her hand, pricking her finger with the little machine, then placing it down, clocking her into the Panem records, once again.

Once she had been processed, Cove made her way to stand with the other 18 year old girls in her district.

"Feel sorry for everyone else" Tampa Riverbank scoffed, beside Cove. "Only one of us here has to be sacrificed, for us lot to go home safe and never have to worry about this, again."

"Well, may the odds be ever in our favour." Cove put on a posh accent, mocking one of the Capitols many motto's, causing a snicker and scoff's from the girls around her.

"Can you see that one, over in the 16's" Another girl had turned around, to ask the two. "Lil redhead."

They followed where she was nodding at, spotting her.

"That's Annie." Cove replied. "Annie Cresta, I think, she's like two years below us, in school."

"Look at her crying and sobbing." Tampa rolled her eyes. "Like, hello, we all have a chance of dying, or surviving."

"Who's the careers, this year?" Cove asked her.

"Uhm... I'm not actually sure, I haven't heard anything."

"If Tampa's not heard anything, good luck."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She turned on the girl next to her.

"Come on, you know everything that goes on, around here, You're the biggest gossip in the district."

"Shush, here come the victors." The same girl from in front of them, hissed.

All their attention turned to the stage, watching closely as the previous Victors of District 4 walked it

Mags Flanagan was the only female tribute of their district, that was still alive, winning in the 11th games, having the first ever Victory Tour, Adrian Mississippi, he had won a few decades ago, he was a lean balding man, he mostly kept to himself, no one really saw him around the district, Cove could remember her father telling her once, that his games had been before the second quarter-quell and he never truly seemed to come to.

Max Pompano, had been a couple of years after, she'd spoken to him a few times, though he could come off blunt, and a lil strange, he had always been polite. Oscar Shan, who had won a good ten years ago, had been one of Finnick's mentors, along with Mags, she had been grateful to him, for saving her friend, even if their friendship was no more.

Then, Finnick Odair took to the stage.

Hushes and whispers could be heard all over the square, Cove was pretty sure she had seen someone's mother faint, when he gave a wave to the crowd.

The girls around her giggled and nudged each other, but she had tuned them all out, her face was blank, as she strayed away from him, as he took his seat.

"Now, now, settle down." The Mayor of district 4 called.

The whole of the district faded into silence, as he spoke.

Cove was still in her own world, as he continued his annual speech, about the Hunger Games, the dark times and the importance of the morals Panem now had.

"And now, our escort, all the way from the Capital, Remus Tacita."

A brightly dressed, and eccentric Man walked the stage, he was dressed in all shades of blue, and wore a wig, that looked as though it was supposed to be representing waves, Cove guessed this was him trying to support the district.

"Welcome, Welcome, everyone, to the 69th Annual Hunger Games, as always, it is an huge honour to be here, once again, and may the odds be ever in your favour" Not even a whisper was heard, in the silence that followed.

"Very well then, now is the time to pick one very brave young man and woman, to compete, this year, ladies first, of course."

The man trotted to the large bowl, containing the name of every girl between the ages of 12 and 18 in the district.

Remus dipped his hand in, digging around for a certain piece of paper, before pulling it out, and holding it high for everyone to see.

He then walked back towards the mic.

Tampa yanked a hold of Cove's hand, squeezing it tightly, with her eyes scrunched up shut, as they waited.

"... This years female tribute is.... Cove Tippet."

Cove clapped her hands, not hearing what he had said, until she realised she was the only one.

"Why's everyone looking at me, who was picked?" She asked Tampa, who was staring at her in horror.

"Cove, it was you." The girl from in front, hissed at her.

"What, no." She shook her head.

"Cove? Cove Tippet, come on up here."

She had heard him, now, the other girls moved out of the way, for her, as a peacekeeper marched forward, ready to escort her.

"Go, Cove" Tampa shoved her forward, into the path up to the stage.

She struggled to find her footing, as he legs visibly shook.

"Come on, we don't have all day." Remus encouraged her forward.

Cove's face had paled incredibly, some wondered if she was going to throw up, or pass out.

With everyone's eyes on her, and the Camera's pointed in her direction, broadcasting all over Panem.

She walked forward, much like a deer, learning how to walk for the very first time.

Cove stared at the stage, as she got closer, it was the last place her mother had stood, alive. And it was where her brother had also been sentenced to his death.

She wondered what thoughts were going through her fathers mind, right now.

As she stood in front of the stage, frozen, not being able to get any closer, Remus let out a bored sigh, to the people, jogging down the stairs, taking a hold of Cove's arm, as if he was helping her, but she could feel the force of him dragging her onto the stage.

"You know what I have just realised." Remus spoke into the mic, as she stood beside him, looking shell-shocked. "Your brother competed, a few years ago, didn't he?" The man grinned.

Cove's head slowly turned to look at him, her mouth was slightly opened.

"Well, let's hope you have some more luck." He laughed. "Right then, moving on, now, time to pick our male tribute." He left Cove's side to go to the other glass bowl, picking out another name, her ally, or her competition. "Lake Osborne!"

Another 18 year old.

She knew him, and they barely interacted with each other, but when they had, it wasn't always pleasant.

Lake fist bumped the air as he grinned widely, practically skipping onto the stage, the polar opposite of Cove.

The mayor took the spot of Remus, as he said aloud the Treaty or Treason, to the district.

"Your tributes of District 4, Lake Osborne and Cove Tippet, you may shake hands." Remus cheered, as he went back to the mic.

Cove still hadn't moved, her eyes hadn't strayed from her father, in the crowd, until she felt the boy grab her hand, yanking it towards his mouth, as he kissed the back of it.

"Get a hold of yourself." He muttered in disgust, as she blinked at him.

They were then ushered inside the Justice building, one of the fanciest places in the whole of the district, where they would get an hour to say goodbye to their loved ones.

Apart from her father, Cove would be rather surprised if she had any other visitors, and she was only allowed 5 minutes with her only other living parent.

But as time kept ticking on, not a single soul had shown up, not until there was only ten minutes left.

"Manta?" Cove stood up, spotting the owner of shrimps Café, and the tavern, a middle aged woman who she had grown to love a lot. "What are you doing here? Where's my father?"

"Honey." She sighed, taking a seat, urging the girl to, as well. "We tried talking him into coming here, we did, but he couldn't, the poor fella couldn't even speak, it's just too much for him, right now."

"What?" her brows furrowed, as her lip started to pout. "He's not coming? He won't come say goodbye to me?"

"He wants to." Manta brought her into a tight hug, cradling the girl. "I know he does, but he's scared it will be his final goodbye."

"It will." Cove sobbed.

"No! Don't you say that." Manta pulled her off, glaring at her. "You still owe me shows and shifts, don't you dare say that, you're coming back home, even if I gotta drag you back here."

"I-I can't survive this, look at me! I'm not a fighter, or a survivalist."

"Look at what you already have survived, my dear, you are a fighter, and you can survive, you will survive. And whilst you're at it, make amends with that lover of yours, when you're both trapped up in the capital."

"Who? What lover?" Cove shook her head.

"The blond boy, Mr Odair, don't think I don't know about your two's history." The older woman rolled her eyes. "I see everything that goes on around here."

"We're not even friends."

"Well, its universal knowledge about how well he's loved. He's your key to winning, so do whatever you gotta, to win him back over, you got it?"

"Time's up." A peacemaker called through the door.

"You get your ass back here, girl." Manta told her, placing something in her hand, as she was escorted out of the fancy room.

"Look after my father, please, Manta!" Cove called after her. "Please!"

Once the door had closed, again, and she had only 5 minutes left, Cove sat back down with a heavy heart.

She opened her palm, where Manta had placed something in it, inside her hand, was a small seashell, attached to some tight elastic rope, aside it sat a small note.

For when you're missing home, give it a lil listen- Ma

Cove brought the shell to her ear, hearing the sounds of waves, and the wind, the noises that would always remind her of her district.

That must be her token, that every tribute is allowed to bring with them.

She quickly put it on over her head.

And then she was being transported to the awaiting train to the Capitol.

Where her and Lake was made to stand in the doorway, letting the cameras get a good look of their new tributes of District 4.

"Smile." She felt a pinch in her back, as Lake muttered to her, with the side of his mouth.

Cove listened, smiling for the cameras, waving excitedly, as she bid them goodbye.

#finnick x you #finnick imagine #finnick x oc #thg finnick #finnick fanfic #hunger games finnick #finnick x reader #finnick odair smut #finnick odair headcannons #finnick odair #finnick x y/n #annie cresta #johanna mason #katniss everdeen #peeta mellark

131 notes · View notes

heyftinally · 6 days

Note

It’s very hilarious because age wise Taylor Swift’s literally in the same age range as Adele, Beyoncé, SZA, Hozier… and Taylor’s discography is so juvenile. It’s like she’s so out of touch with reality that the only problems she can master in songwriting are romantic relationships. Her music as a teenager had more weight than the music she makes as a grown woman. And this isn’t even by the fact that she doesn’t have kids - SZA is right there!

Her latest albums sounds like it was made by a 19 years old. Which would be Olivia Rodrigo, Tate McRae, etc, like this woman is 34 years old and it’s talking about wanting to be touched by the hands of a gamer… be for real. And the “I’m having his kids, not I didn’t” is so corny that it produced me second hand embarrassment. And might you this song is about a racist she dated for like 2 months… And one of her songs being an exact concept of get him back by Olivia Rodrigo, who was 19 when she made that… I need her fans to be for real. this album is garbage.

Honestly, it's not even just this album. Like, you're 100% right, but let's go back even further.

"Look what you made me do" - it literally sounds like a child blaming someone else for their own mistakes. "You made me late to practice!!" says the child who refused to do their mandatory chores earlier, or didn't remember to give their parent the note about an extra practice. Because emotionally intelligent and mature adults recognize that it's a very rare situation that someone truly MAKES you do anything. And I find it VERY hard to believe that anyone truly MADE - as in FORCED - Taylor Swift to do anything.

"Bad Blood" - is quite literally about Taylor Swift throwing a tantrum because Katy Perry hired her dancers. Let me give you an insider look at how commercial dance works as a career. Let's call our fake dancer Katie. Katie auditions for Taylor Swift's tour and gets selected - she now has employment secured for the next 12 months. Anywhere between 3 and 6 months before the end of that contract, Katie will begin looking for her next audition/contract. Why? Because dancers are freelancers, so if you aren't working, you aren't getting paid. So if Taylor Swift wants Katie to be in her next project, she needs to have that contract ready to present as soon as she makes that decision, and the longer she waits, the less chance there is that Katie will not yet have signed a new contract. If Katy Perry reaches out to Katie's agent at the 6mo mark with an offer, and Taylor Swift hasn't offered anything after her tour, Katie is faced with this dilemma: take the Katy Perry offer - a guaranteed job - or decline and HOPE that something else comes along quickly. Dancers can't afford to gamble their livelihood like that, so Katie takes the Katy Perry job. If Taylor comes to Katie three months later wanting to offer a new contract, she's out of luck. Not because Katie was "stolen", but because she made an intelligent financial decision for her life and career.

"Better Than Revenge" - I don't care that she changed the mattress line, she was still a grown ass adult when she wrote it, and frankly the fact that she spends the entire song referring to the hypothetical guy as a "toy" is creepy and gross.

"What Doesn't Kill Me Makes Me Want You More" - literally sounds like an obsessive teenager in a toxic relationship. So if he beats you bloody, you still want to be with him? No, seek help.

And the list goes on. SO MANY of her songs are these pedantic little 8th grade diary takes coming out of a mid-30's woman. Just compare Adel's "Someone Like You" to literally any Taylor Swift song. Has Taylor EVER wished her ex's "nothing but the best, just please don't forget me"? Because if memory serves, it's always either "I want you back wah poor me" or "fuck you you're a toxic piece of shit".

One of my favorite adult artists is Hilary Duff. She's been releasing albums since the early 2000's as a teenager, so she's roughly in the same situation as Taylor. However, Hilary's work very clearly aged with her. From one of her early albums, Metamorphosis, she has songs like Sweet Sixteen, Metamorphosis, and Working it Out, all of which are about different experiences of being young, recognizing you're still growing and becoming yourself, and the excitement confusion that often comes along with that. None of those three songs are about a boy, but do mention them as *part* of her life. As a young 20-something, Hilary released Reach Out, which is a spicy, suggestive party song. It conjures up images of dark rooms, loud music, and roaming hands. "It's like the prey playing games with the hunter, nowhere to run boy, time to surrender". It's notably more mature and suggestive than anything she sang at 16/17. Then several years later, in her 30s, we got songs like Confetti and My Kind, which are about finding people - romantically or platonically - that are "our kind" of people or who will "catch" us. Looking for stability and authenticity, people who are real and want to stick with you for the long haul because they like you for who you really are. No more flings and hook ups from her 20s, she's a grown adult who wants the people around her to be real, even when it's not what she wants to hear.

We don't see this kind of growth or change with Taylor Swift. She's still writing the same angry breakup songs we was writing at 17, and her lyricism hasn't even improved. If anything, I think it got worse.

Anyway, this got really long, but oh well. You're so right, anon, and it's WILD.

#ask #anon #anti taylor swift #taylor swift critical

22 notes · View notes

zvtara-was-never-canon · 7 months

Note

i think the reason why people don’t like mai for zuko is because zuko is already a very grumpy, angry, pessimistic person and so is mai soo they reasoning is that he needs somebody with a more opposite and optimistic, personality like jin and katara who are more nice and caring than mai idk cause zuko does cheer up a little at the end aand katara is more supporting at the end at least oor that’s what people say idk what do you think? why does zuko chooses mai and not jin or katara? and what do you think of the people who “knows whats best for z ??

Anon, I'm gonna be honest here: the people that genuinely dislike Mai with any kind of bias affecting their judgement are very rare. Anyone who tells you the overwhelming hate she gets, both as Zuko's girlfriend and as her own character, are not 99% the result of zutarians being bitter that she "stole Katara's man" are either lying to you or were lied to.

Mai, alongside Ty Lee, is one of the most chill antagonists of the show. Zuko was far grumpier and MUCH more furious than she ever was. Hell, her main deal is that she is always too chill because she was taught to repress her emotions and not voice her opinions.

THIS is why she is Zuko's true opposite, the yin to his yang. When he is letting his emotions cloud his judgement, she's the voice of reason. And in turn, when she's getting too distant, he makes get out of her shell and connect. They've had their issues, sure, but by the end of the show they were all pretty much fixed.

Also, I would NOT call Zuko a pessimistic character. He has low points and moments of panic, but that boy kept himself mostly sane during three years of exile by holding onto to hope that, maybe, just maybe, this supposedly dead enemy of his nation that had been seen in 100 years was not actually dead, thus his mission wasn't pointless, and he'd have a way home. Just look at how over-confident Zuko is battle and at how many life threatening situations he got himself into because he acted without a plan, assuming that everything would turn out alright somehow. That boy is an optimist. A grumpy, moody, reckless optimist, but still.

Again, that's the kind of situation where he and Mai would ballance each other out. She likes the thrill of these adventures as much he does, but she will NOT act without thinking. Hell, she won't even put up with stuff that is not dangerous but that she considers beaneath her (see her refusing to follow orders in "The Drill").

This is thing that really bothers me about shipping, not just in this fandom: people forget that no one wants to date their clone, but no one wants to date their COMPLETE opposite either. You need common ground.

Katara and Zuko have the same temperament - proud, strong-willed, stubborn, wearing their hearts in their sleeves, and willing to get VERY mean when pissed off (never forget the "The stars look beautiful tonight. Too bad you can't see them, Toph!"). Then being a couple would just BEGGING for them to have some very ugly fights. As for their differences? Like I've said a million times before, their goals in life are so different they wouldn't even live in the same country. How could a romance between EVER work?

Ty Lee's temperament would be a good ballance for Zuko's, but the most common ground they have is they hang out with the same two girls and maaaaybe Zuko believes in auras too since he basically demanded Mai to defend herself when Ty Lee insulted her aura (this is totally not me letting my headcanon of Zuko taking that stuff 100% serious and writting down everything Ty Lee says on the topic cloud my judgement). Other than that, we see that Zuko clearly wants to be Fire Lord, and while Ty Lee just wanted to go back to the circus or travel around with her new friends. We barely get any interaction between them, so acting like there's evidence for her to be his perfect match is quite the stretch.

Same for Jin. They got along well enough on their date, but that was just for short bit of an episode, not even the entire episode itself. That's too little to claim she could be "the one" for him.

With Mai meanwhile, we had a ton of episodes, in which we got to see their relationship's ups and downs, and see that they managed to bounce back from some pretty serious conflicts and still clearly adore each other after it all.

As for Zuko choosing her over any other girl, it's simple. He likes her. He likes her dry/sarcastic humor, how badass she is, how much she enjoys physical affection, how she doesn't put with any bullshit fro anyone (including himself), how she was bold enough to basically tell him, Azula and Ty Lee to fuck off, how pretty she is when she hates the world (unbelievably iconic line) etc.

Mai is Zuko's type of girl, she likes him back, and they are compatible, and thus they ended up together. It's not rocket science.

#anti zutara #pro maiko #pro mai

54 notes · View notes

oneatlatime · 1 year

Text

The Boy in the Iceberg

58 seconds in and I can already see why people say this show is gorgeous. Look at those colours! Although the double image around some of the line art is distracting.

Can water do that? Just have random fast currents in an otherwise pretty still ocean? Also, Catara couldn't have grabbed a spare paddle and helped? Actually they seemed screwed anyway. If they were going any faster they probably would have landed harder, or not on ice at all.

Judging by Sokka's lack of reaction to Catara's temper tantrum, I'd say she has that exact rant at least three times a week.

It's a face!

Maybe the giant orb created the current to summon them there?

Catara has no self-preservation instincts at all. Giant glowy orb washed up in front of you, don't poke it!

Tiger seals.

Solitaire. Neat.

That haircut is not good. Also a very unique choice for a voice. Wait this is Zuko? The guy everyone's obsessed with?

I love Appa already.

"this is Catara, my flying sister." A man after my own heart.

They really would have been stuck without Aang to offer a ride. What was their plan to get home?

Zuko is a prince? Hunting the avatar to reclaim his honour. Not sure how those two go together but ok. I guess 100 years ago the avatar stole a time-travelling Zuko's honour.

Appa can swim through the night? Why does he have six legs?

I didn't know this was a dream sequence at first and I was wondering where Sokka and Catara were. For future reference: dreams are brown.

Aang should have frozen to death by now. That's nowhere near enough clothes. And Catara can't be only just noticing the blue lines now.

Seems like the village has hit a rough patch.

If this is how catara reacts to a bald child, she's gonna spontaneously combust the first time she meets a teenage boy who isn't her brother. And how is an air bender going to teach her water bending?

Between the Appa snot and the watchtower gag, I sense Sokka will become the butt of many jokes.

You know, if you want him to actually learn, maybe tell him what he did wrong rather than reciting philosophical stuff and then shooting fire at his face? His presumably scarred face? Scarred presumably by fire? Kudos to Zuko for not flinching.

Is there a stick in Zuko's hair that's supporting it upright or does his hair just do that? Does Zuko have Pippi Longstocking hair? Speaking of hair, why does Catara have her hair like that? Surely that gets in the way of seeing stuff? It does look good when her hood is up though.

Good sneaky exposition dump Zuko. Didn't notice it until I thought about it after.

There's something hilarious yet tragic about Sokka spouting the wartime equivalent of live laugh love quotes and losing the battle with potty breaks. He has no idea what he's talking about but he believes in what he's saying so much.

Did Aang spend an hour in there?!?

So pretty.

Appa has six legs and penguins have four wings. Is the rule in this show that animals have 50% more appendages?

Last airbender smothered by penguins, more at 11.

"I haven't done this since I was a kid!" "You still are a kid!" That line feels like something that's going to come back.

Was the whole 'being a bender is showing no fear' or however that line went actually about bending, or do you really just want to explore the ship, Aang?

Gerbils at the south pole?

Would the fire nation send people back to rig a lost ship or are all fire nation ships rigged at all times and the crews are just used to working around the traps? Actually that would be a great way to catch spies.

I would jump to brain-damage induced amnesia from being trapped in an iceberg for a few hours before I'd ever think of a century long cryo-sleep. "it's the only explanation." Really?

All of these backgrounds are so pretty.

Air bending gets you some serious air. Those hops are stupid big, even accounting for cartoon physics.

I really like the end credits music. And according to the credits, I've been mispelling Katara's name this whole time.

Some final thoughts:

Katara (with a K) is too idealistic and trusting and Sokka is too cynical and suspicious. A perfect sibling pair. Also I love Sokka's sense of humour.

I like Aang's specific flavour of goofiness. He seems secure in himself and genuine. He has attention issues though.

Appa is a sea bison actually. Common misconception.

I like that they introduce the antagonist like 10 minutes into the first episode, but they're going to have to flesh him out way more before I read Zuko as anything other than an asshole. Also the voice is going to take a while to get used to. It's not that it doesn't fit the character design, it's just that I've never heard an actual human talk like that naturally. It's kind of muppet-like. Maybe he damaged his throat when he got that scar?

The voice acting is just superb. Even single lines like Gran Gran have distinct character. I did have to rewind a couple of times to catch what the old man with Zuko was saying.

The shading on the snow, the clouds and the skies, it's all so beautiful. You could watch this episode on mute and still be satisfied.

Katara is the only waterbender in the whole south pole, Sokka is the only man in the whole village, and Aang is the only air bender in the whole world. Gonna be a lot of lonely kids in this show. I sense a theme. I bet Appa is the only sea bison too.

Sokka is my favourite so far, but I think Aang is going to grow on me. Katara is a little bit too much of a Little Sister (TM) and Zuko just feels flat. But that just means more room to grow for both of them as characters. Of course Appa reigns supreme. I hope there's more of him in the next episode.

Even though this was half of a two-part episode, the cut off didn't feel abrupt. Maybe not a full self-contained story, but they left off at a perfect place.

Rereading this before posting, I asked a lot of quetsions. That's good! So many hooks to get me into the show, all in the first episode. I'm looking forward to the next one.

#atla #avatar: the last airbender #the boy in the iceberg #avatar the last airbender

84 notes · View notes

bylertruther · 1 year

Text

thinking about how...

this show has always been about will, his disappearance, and the ripple effect that all has had on everyone. when they mention which characters in particular, it's interesting to note that these are all characters who end up being pivotal / endgame ships. joyce and hopper, jonathan (and nancy), and mike (and will). the only one missing would be lucas (and max), but lucas gets a lot of focus in season one anyway and their relationship is a highlight of the second season. these ships all also continue to grow closer as the show goes on.

mike is introduced as someone with "near-crippling insecurity". he cares very much about falling behind his peers (see: the second sentence) and what others think of him (see: him not wanting to tell eleven he gets bullied). they specifically point out that mike and will escape their feelings of alienation through fantasy. they, unlike dustin and lucas, have a connection to dnd that goes beyond just enjoying it. for them, this is the one place they can be themselves uninhibited or more than what they think they are.

mike finds himself on a real adventure for will. the dogged, devoted, and relentless courage we come to associate with mike was born out of his desire to save will. mike was inspired by will. (see: when he radios lucas and tells him that will could've cast protection, but he didn't. he put himself in danger to save the party.) he becomes the leader we know and love because of will. he faces many monsters—troy and hawkins' homophobia, the bad men, a demogorgon—for will. the last sentence makes you think it's tied to eleven, but really... it isn't.

this is further supported by the fact that mike was originally supposed to enter the upside down by himself! at twelve years old! he was supposed to enter a scary monster-filled dimension because of how much he loves and misses his best friend. he does this for will, because he believes with all his heart and knows that will is alive, and they just need to find and help him somehow. will is the one that inspires mike to unearth that courage he didn't know he had.

the montauk / stranger things bible states that "mike will meet and bond with eleven," but the only time it "defines" their relationship you could say is when it parallels them to elliot and e.t. who are obviously not a romantic couple lol. the only romantic relationship mentioned in this pdf is between jonathan and nancy.

piggybacking off of point five, i feel like that, paired with how everyone pushed mike towards eleven, and the emphasis on mike feeling insecure over never having had a girlfriend or a first kiss, suggests that their relationship in this season is not romantic in nature. not really, anyway.

when mike is talking about their future, this is what he says:

See, I was thinking, once all this is over and Will’s back and you’re not a secret anymore, my parents can get you an actual bed for the basement. Or you can take my room if you want, since I’m down there all the time anyway. My point is, they’ll take care of you. They’ll be like your new parents, and Nancy, she’ll be like your new sister.

whenever mike is talking to eleven without any outside influence, he's always treating her in a platonic or familial manner. she's the one that he's talking about as if they're siblings, not will. he's 100% indisputably describing a family here, because that's what he sees her as—an adopted sister, that is—when no one else is influencing him or misconstruing his kindness towards her. he knows that she has no one and he obviously likes her and considers her a friend. he doesn't want to lose her or for her to be alone and hurt again, so this is the next logical step in his mind.

(also, remember in season three when mike said "i love her and can't lose her again" and when el questioned him on it, he said it was "a family discussion", then again played stupid and didn't say it back when eleven brought it up a second time at the end? and then in season four continued to avoid saying those words in a romantic context until will confessed and then pushed him to say it? and even then he spoke about how he still viewed her as the girl he met in the woods, who needed a family, is a superhero? aka not saying why he loves her or mentioning any of her personality traits like jonathan and nancy are able to? lol.)

it's only when she asks for clarification and inadvertently reminds him of everything everyone has been saying all week that he backtracks. but when it's just him and her and he forgets everything he "should" be doing or feeling at this age, aka kissing girls and getting a girlfriend? it's 100% familial and platonic.

he kisses her in this scene, yes, lol, but that's after she questions him and she's still not understanding that they apparently aren't just friends. she doesn't know what dating or romantic love is until season two when she's been binging soaps in the cabin.

and yes he dances with her at the snow ball in season two, but 1) he promised her, 2) she's his friend he hasn't seen in forever, and 3) what were they supposed to do? stand off to the side awkwardly while everyone else dances? he's a paladin: he made a promise to her and so he intends to keep it.

additionally, that s1 kiss being the only one that the duffers actually planned (at that point in time) suggests this (in my opinion), too.

in eleven, mike finds a friend in a girl for the first time ever. in mike, eleven finds her first friend in general ever. their bond, which is likened to elliot and e.t., is misconstrued as being romantic because that's what everyone around them assumes it is.

mike falls for this because 1) he's insecure (and behind the scenes in interviews finn especially has described their relationship as something that makes mike "normal" and allows him to "impress people", two things which are(/were?) important to mike), 2) doesn't know any better, and 3) as a fantasy lover, do you really think he's going to turn down or hurt an actual "superhero" who just so happens to be the first girl ever to not be grossed out by him?

eleven falls for this, too, because 1) she also doesn't know any better, 2) the soaps she watched for almost an entire year straight and her isolation in general definitely painted their friendship in a different light for her, and 3) he was her first friend. of course she's going to have special feelings for him that maybe eventually in time did turn into actual romantic feelings, but were definitely not that at the start when she knew nothing of the world.

so, like... yeah. all of the parallels between mike and eleven's familial figures in life and the disparity between mike's relationships with eleven and will aren't just a wacky coincidence. it's by design.

mike and eleven both tell us how they feel about each other in season one, the duffers have expressed their vision for those two since before stranger things was even called stranger things, they knew what they wanted to do in season two before casting as well, they called season three their season to "play in the sandbox" before going back to showing their hand and wrapping story lines up, and mike and will's relationship has been this close and interlinked since the very beginning, too. it's all there in the text itself. none of this is new and all of it is intentional.

and, if we are to continue this pattern... mike is going to discover even more courage that he didn't know he had when will finally comes clean and tells him how he really feels about him. he'll realize, too, that he doesn't need to escape into a fantasy world or conform in order to have what he truly wants or be the person he wishes he could be. he'll realize that he's brave, strong, and loved entirely for who he is in this world, too; that it's real, true, and has been his entire life.

#byler #<- hi. behold my post :^) teehee #mine #mike analysis #anyway. they were pushed into this srry but i cannot close my eyes 2 the sacred texts n i shan't !#he literally describes her as being his sister and u expect me to not look into that. cmon. cmonnnnnnnn nowwww #this is all over the place but i needed 2 get it out like drilling a hole in my head to let the evil spirits out or smth normal like tht

214 notes · View notes

n7punk · 4 months

Text

2023 Writing Wrapped!

I think I forgot to do this last year but I was a little burnt out at the time. I had so much fun writing this year I wanted to do a little retrospective/celebration for it (which I encourage everyone to do! Even if you wrote just one fic, take a second to congratulation yourself for accomplishing it).

I wrote 34 fics and updated 118 times this year. Almost half of those were for the Children of the Crystal series (16 fics) but that series was so fun and clocks in at 121k so I'm totally okay with that. If anything, that's a bit of equalizing, because I know my fics are a lot longer on average than most people's since I write a lot of longer AUs (quick math off the top of my head is about half my fics are longer AUs) so now my words-per-fic average is probably a bit closer to usual lol. Actually that got me curious and my average is 20,176 which is honestly lower than I was expecting but still almost certainly higher than average since I've seen a lot of profiles without a single fic that long. Okay I'm a nerd and I did the math and it was only 21,041 before this year which is way more surprising since I really would have thought it was more.

Anyway, I posted 610k words this year between all my fics (though I wrote more in WIPs and upcoming projects). I had so much fun with a lot of the fics I did this year. Children of the Crystal is still a stand out for me, but I'm SO proud of 'the long way down' and I spent the first half of the year pretty feral for each idea as I tore through Hurricane Adora, As Many Lives As It Takes (To Be With You), Superzero, City of Angels, Trade Today For Tomorrow, and CotC of course. February through August I averaged 12 updates a month which is. insane. I updated daily for 12 days in a row in July/August for CotC, and I spent most of that fic series updating every other day.

A lot of that creative energy came from the health stuff that has been bogging me down for a few years (and especially last year) improving, and though I'm still dealing with that, I'm doing a lot better and it has really felt like rediscovering my creative passion. I had a span from like March-ish trhough August I called my "unhinged era" between how feral I was for my ideas, how much I was updating, and just how wild some of those ideas were lol. My slow down at the end of the year came from starting a new job that was very demanding and especially exhausting with my health issues, plus health issues for the rest of my family, but I've still been averaging updating once or twice a week since, so I'm happy with that given everything that has been going on.

Now let's get to the two big ones.

Writing streaks: Definitely not for everyone, but for me they're really motivating and 100% the reason I was able to keep up momentum these last three months with work. I wrote every single day this year. I still can't believe that. Sure, some days it was literally 50 words at the end of the day when I was exhausted, but I also had my highest single-word count day since I started recording them this year at 12,738 on July 18th when I was writing CotC. My previous record was 94 days in a row. 364 is a huge leap. I don't know where I'm going to go with my streak from here. On one hand, it was hugely motivating. On the other, you always want to be careful to prevent burnout. For now, allowing myself to count days where I barely do anything as long as I engage with my WIP seems like a good middle ground since it keeps me motivated and connected to what I'm writing while letting me mostly take time off. I'm exploring more creative hobbies like painting in my free time, though, and as long as I've created that day I don't necessarily feel the need to write, so we'll see if I reconsider my writing streak as a "creating" streak in the future, but for now I'm just going to see how long I can go.

And the final one... my stupid goal.

I can't remember if it was at the end of last year or the start of this one when an anon pointed out how much I had written and I realized I was something like .99% of all Catradora fics on AO3, but my ridiculous goal for this year was to get my fics to 1% of the entire Catradora tag. This goal... I half reached. It takes a bit of explaining.

First, when I first set that goal, I think needed to write twenty-something more fics to reach it. Obviously, I well exceeded that goal at 34 fics, but as I was writing, so was everyone else, so the number of fics I needed to write to reach 1% increased. In the sense of my original benchmark, I definitely passed my goal.

Second, as I write this, AO3 shows there are 11,632 Catradora fics. You can consider 1% of this to be either 116 or 117 depending on rounding. I have 117 She-ra fics, but one of those is a Glimbow fic with no mention of Catradora, so that takes me to 116. However, one of those 116 is tagged as Adora & Catra because it's the CotC fic from when they're small children and meeting for the first time. I consider it a Catradora fic, but it's not actually in the tag and thus doesn't contribute to it. As such, I've fallen short at 115/117, but I really do consider this goal complete for this year given that I passed the initial milestone, the rounding makes the final number debatably 116, and I do actually have 116 "Catradora-centric" fics. That said, I'm very aware those are technicalities and I have a special celebration planned for when I actually, officially become 1% of the tag, so look out for that :) It'll be a great way to celebrate the new year. I'm hoping/planning to do it in the next week or two.

The future: I'm ending this year and starting the next trying to clean up a bunch of WIPs since my fic folder is getting a little ridiculous with the (mostly Outside of the War) one-shots I've written one scene or just a description for, which feels like a really fitting way to end off the year, accomplishing my goals and making everything neat and tidy. I have like 7~ to work though, though my actual goal is maybe 4-5 since I don't want to "force" myself to work on an idea if I'm not feeling it at the second, but I also have a longer AU calling my name, and I don't want to ignore an idea interesting me either... so we'll see, but I'm excited for everything I'm working on right now, and that feels really good. I finished last year in kind of a rough place writing/creativity wise, and I'm finishing this year really excited for everything I did and everything upcoming, so that feels pretty great :)

Thank you to everyone who read and commented this year! I know I ran out of energy to keep up with comments a lot, but they really made me smile so much and I appreciate them so much. Some days they were the difference between the motivation to write 1000 words versus 50. Thanks for another great year!

#fic rambling #ficmeta #mylife

17 notes · View notes

theselightsareblinding · 1 year

Text

My top 15 BLs

Finally I consider I've watched enough bls to make a top of my all time favourites. This is my personal opinion and based on my enjoyment of the shows, not only their quality. Minor spoilers.

1. Not Me (Thailand 2021) 10⭐

My favourite bl and one of my favourite series in general. Everything is almost perfect, the acting, the plot, the characters, the pace, the visuals... Not only the main couple has great chemistry but the whole friend group does. They tried to raise a bit of awareness on important social issues and in my opinion they succeed, felt like dipping bit by bit into the water, the start of the journey for something more. It has so many iconic scenes I can't forget. And so thrilling it had me at the edge of my seat every sunday.

2. Bad Buddy (Thailand 2021) 10⭐

Another almost perfect series. The pacing is the best I've seen, everything fits together smoothly, and every big or little thing that happens makes complete sense. Flawless equilibrium between comedy, romance and drama. And the acting... both mains are brilliant but Nanon, and specially Nanon's eyes, got to me. The moment I saw Pran getting teary eyed and trying to hide it in ep4 I was gone. The rewatch value is 100/10.

3. Semantic Error (South Korea 2022) 9.5⭐

Like with Bad Buddy, is smooth and very well done. Everything looks so pretty and I love how they play with colours. The leads are amazing too.

4. He's Coming to Me (Thailand 2019) 9.5⭐

The first series that made me ugly cry in a very long time. The only way to describe it's beautiful. I would never have imagined Ohm and Singto worked as a pair but they do. It would be a 10 if not for the ending, which it's neither happy nor sad, because it's not an ending. I wish they would have been braver and given it the closure it deserved, happy or not.

5. The Eclipse (Thailand 2022) 9.0⭐

The ending was only one week ago so I'm writing this with some leftover bitterness. Up until episode 11 the series worked perfectly, the characters and their relationships were developing flawlessly, but the plot surrounding the eclipse and the curse was not advancing at all. And then they tried to do everything in only one episode and it didn't work. Still, the rest of the show is worth it. I felt very connected to the characters, specially Akk.

6. To My Star (South Korea 2021) 9.0⭐

Like Semantic Error and many Korean productions everything technical was impeccable. Very cute and cosy for something that came from Korea. I could empathize with both Seo Joon and Ji Woo throughout the whole story. I can't include To my star 2 because even if I still like it, it was too sad for me and the ending too unsatisfactory.

7. Love Mechanics (Thailand 2022) 9.0⭐

I absolutely adore YinWar as a couple and that's it. They work together so well I could watch them in anything they do. The nine stars are basically for them but the series is good too, very messy but very entertaining.

8. Manner of Death (Thailand 2020) 9.0⭐

It's been a while since I watched it but I remember the chemistry being on point and the plot being messy but enjoyable. I appreciate the characters being full adults and the themes being darker than other bls, I love the uni dramas but it's good to have variety.

9. Dark Blue Kiss (Thailand 2019) 9.0⭐

As with Manner of death it's nice to have variety so the couple being already established is good. Most dramas don't know how to create plot with an established couple but this is the exception. Technically speaking is not the best on this list but I have a special fondness for it, them just being together, the domesticity, you really feel like this is a three year relationship. As a non straight person myself the 'not ready to come out' plot felt very real to me.

10. KinnPorsche (Thailand 2022) 9.0⭐

A few plot holes but interesting to watch as it's the first mafia bl I've watched. For me, the selling point is the main couple, amazing actors who you really believe are in love, desire each other and are comfortable with each other. Something I especially don't like in bls is the couple being afraid of contact between them, and this is the total opposite, they feel like a very real couple who grow together and adore each other. I know it's a weird point to make about a mafia series but it's what I loved about it and the reason it has nine stars. The side couples, I don't hate them but I don't care about them much.

11. Love by Chance (Thailand 2018) 8.5⭐

Not usually a fan of dominant/complacent couples but they are just so cute. And at least Pete is an active and enthusiastic participant in the affection and love making scenes. And I love Ae as a character, I think Perth did a fantastic job, especially knowing he was only 17 years old in this. Even if it's not together, I hope to see them both working again soon.

12. Star and Sky: Star in My Mind (Thailand 2022) 8.5⭐

Very mild series but I fell in love with JoongDunk, they have amazing chemistry and seeing them interacting in real life I feel like they have even more potential than what they've shown on this. Cute little show for a rainy day. I'm counting their scenes on Sky in your heart as part of their series.

13. Lovely Writer (Thailand 2021) 8.5⭐

Amazing physical chemistry between the main couple, and phenomenal kisses. They dive a bit into the problematic aspects of bl and I appreciate it.

14. 2gether / Still 2gether (Thailand 2020) 8.5⭐

Like everybody, this was one of the first bls I've seen and I'm fond of it. Absolutely nothing bad happens and sometimes I want just that, a comfort show. And I love a head over heels character like Wat here. It has many flaws but to this day I can still watch it and get hooked.

15. Why R U? (Thailand 2020) 8.0⭐

This is technically cheating because I'm only counting one couple. I haven't even watched it whole because at one point I just started to skip everything that wasn't FigtherTutor and never came back. Love the actors, love the couple, adore the chemistry between them. I'm still heartbroken about the fact that the only time they worked together they were given this mediocre script and it's never going to happen again.

Honourable mentions:

Secret Crush on You (Thailand 2022), My Only 12% (Thailand 2022) and Until We Meet Again (Thailand 2019) which I haven't finished watching but could possibly enter this list when I do.

Making this list made me realize almost everything Aof directs becomes part of my favourites, I would love to analyze more profoundly his style to figure out what I like about it. And I'm super excited for whatever he's going to direct next year.

259 notes · View notes

palmtreepalmtree · 8 months

Text

I honestly don't know if I can do Rosh Hashanah this year. There is so much baggage I'm carrying with my family right now. There's a part of me that just wants to drive away. But I don't think I can do that to my mom, and also that's just avoiding the issues.

The biggest thing is that I haven't really seen my brother-in-law since my niece's bat mitzvah in January. It wasn't intentional, but it wasn't unintentional either. I definitely let it happen. He's been having issues with my sister and while they've reconciled or are working on things, I have not forgiven him or let shit go. I have always had issues with him. But me being me, I always just kept my silence and tried to avoid confrontation.

Then he was unkind to my mom last year in a big family blow up where he complained about how he was treated in our house. As it was, I always felt that I had to work so hard to cater to his ego in our house, and that blow up just made me feel like what was the fucking point. Now more than ever I feel this heightened need to be careful around him. I pretty much just ignored him at the bat mitzvah, but he'll be staying in the house so of course I can't do that now. And apparently ignoring him was part of the problem. I can't believe how much emotional work I am doing to accommodate this person.

And to make matters more complicated, his brother will be visiting from out of town. Our house is pretty full already - I already give up my bedroom to accommodate my sister and brother-in-law. Now this guy is going to be sleeping on the den floor. He's perfectly nice, I guess, (though we're both lawyers and that can be sort of a thing iykyk), but what adult man decides to sleep on a futon in the middle of the house instead of just getting a hotel room? He's a big law lawyer, he can afford it. I would never. I barely want to stay with friends when they have a guest room (am I weird about this btw?).

And then there's my cousin and her in-laws. Firstly, my cousin is sicker all the time with cancer. I think she might be close to the end of her fight. Which is a heartbreaking thing to say about someone I adore, someone I grew up with, who is 45 years old, and has three children in their teens. She is fighting so hard, but she's in treatment three days a week, and she will never stop for the rest of her life. I'm happy she'll be coming, but I worry about her being around the 19 other people.

And then her in-laws are coming, and they are bringing their 100-year-old matriarch, who is a wonderful woman, but she is 100 years old, no one ever talks to her except me and my mom, and I don't know who is risking bringing someone like that around a place with 19 other people right now.

AND my cousin is not on the best terms with her mother-in-law. That's too complicated to get into here, but it's not the most pleasant thing in the world. As it is, they are not my favorite people. We've known them and included them for almost 20 years at this point, and over the years it has become clearer and clearer how different my values are from theirs when it comes to money and society. They're not Trump people, but they're definitely Rick Caruso people.

All of that is the backdrop to this dinner that I will be helping my mom to host for 20 people. She will be very stressed so I expect to get yelled at a lot tomorrow. And we're the type of people who smile and get along and pretend, while seething inwardly.

And it's not just like everyone goes home at the end of the night. I'll still have my brother-in-law and his brother at the house, probably all weekend. And I'm obligated to sit through like four hours of services on Saturday in the middle of this. All while not having my own private space to retreat to at the end of it until the family leaves.

Seriously, the more I type this, the more I think I should just leave. But I would never do that to my mom.

#long post #i just need my own house #but hahahahahaha jk #seriously thanks to anyone who read all this whining

46 notes · View notes

geoffrard · 1 year

Note

if you don't mind, could you spare some pointers about archive work? i would love to try some but i honestly have no idea where to start.

happy to give some guidance since archiving is something i'm passionate about :)

my experience with archive work lies largely outside of mcr specifically, and subject area 100% impacts the archiving experience. that disclaimer in mind, i'm a history grad student, work with physical & digital archives, and managed a smaller one for a few years. on the fandom side of things, i run @thursdayarchive with nic @raytorosaurus (who is also a great resource for the specifics of mcr archiving & who suggested some advice given here!).

but you definitely don't have to have much experience to archive! archiving, at its root, is about assembling materials relevant and organizing them in a way that allows other people to access them. And this work is super, super important (esp since so much of mcr's history dates back to an era of the internet that is rapidly disappearing) & definitely doesn't require you to develop a sophisticated skill set.

There are three basic things to take into consideration when you're starting to archive:

Artifacts: What you collect

Personal organization: How you will keep track of what you find

The repository: How you will share your archive

Artifacts: Collect materials

Finding materials to share is the meat of the archiving experience, and often it's what takes the longest time. It can also be a little intimidating at first, especially considering the amount of unsourced photos that regularly float around mcr spaces. some notes on that end (mainly concerning photographs, since that tends to be the currency the mcr fandom deals in):

first, you don't have to just archive photos--the range of interesting materials related to mcr is vast. an archive might include photos, interviews, videos, magazine features, music, etc.

Consider what gaps might exist within fandom archives. MCR fans have run a number of really great archives in the past, so some work might not need to be done. Of course, those materials might not get circulated--and recovering it would be a worthwhile task. Perhaps recent interviews haven't been compiled and transcribed. Perhaps you can't believe that people aren't talking about a certain two-minute excerpt from a Frank podcast from five years ago. Perhaps you've noticed a dearth of photos of Mikey from 2010 in fandom spaces. Do what is interesting to you, but build on past archival work when you can. Honestly I can really see a need to keep track of a lot of the fan videos from the recent tour.

Decide if you want your archiving to center around a certain theme--like, a certain member of the band, a certain type of media, etc.

KEEP TRACK OF SOURCE CREDIT. the mcr fandom has been awful at keeping track of photo sources in the past, and as a result many of the most of the iconic photographs have been totally divorced from their source. Also, make sure that the person you're crediting is the actual original source.

On that note: while it might not seem like a big deal, reposting without a source is. Music photographers make their living by licensing their photos, and if a for-profit publication wants to use those photos but doesn't know photographer, they can't, and the photographer loses out on business. Non-professional photos really should be sourced, too. Fans in a photo might not want to have their picture spread around for a number of reasons (this specifically has happened in the mcr fandom, where a collection of photographs were reposted without permission from a private photobucket).

It's always easier to find photos at their source rather than sourcing photos that you already have. A lot of photographers post their pictures on their own archives, often on places like getty images, photobucket, flickr, and their personal websites. a lot of these sites are searchable, and they're a decent place to start.

keep track of the names of photographers and interviewers that you see often

familiarize yourself with archive.org. it is your friend when you encounter dead links.

it's also worthwhile to have a decent grasp on the mcr timeline, or at least know where to reference it. since i have a shit brain for remembering specific dates, i generally reference concertarchives (though it can be a little unreliable at times and warrants some cross-referencing).

Personal organization: Keep track of what you find

When you locate something you'd like to archive, you'll want to keep track of the information associated with it--in archiving, we call that metadata. This can be a bit of a headache in the moment, but integrating your own organizing systems is a lifesaver in the long run. Consider:

what kinds of information might interest your audience? Typically, I include source, date, location, people included (if it's a photo), and any other context that might be relevant to the source, if I can find it.

what is the easiest way to track that information? I keep a detailed spreadsheet for that purpose, but you might find it useful to archive the item onto your repository immediately. there's no one right way to do this step, but having a standard practice can help you avoid confusion or accidentally sharing incorrect details.

The repository: share your archive

The whole point of archiving is to share materials with other people--though this is certainly easier said that done. Your repository doesn't have to be anything more than your blog, but it deserves a decent amount of thought. Things to think about:

Where will you host your archive? Most of us will use Tumblr, and there's nothing wrong with that, but you don't have to. Places like dreamwidth and google drive can be useful platforms as well. If you stick with tumblr, consider if you want to use the blog you already use, or if you want to start a new blog for a clean slate.

You don't have to repost the content that you want to archive. Making lists of content by topic is incredibly important, and there is a decent amount of content that you wouldn't be able to upload on most platforms because of size and length restrictions.

How will you organize your repository? The easier someone can access something they're looking for on an archive, the more they will use it. Using specific tags to indicate certain features of an archive post is generally the most intuitive organization method, but you can also use other systems (like hyperlinks) if they work for you.

What kinds of information do you want people to find on your archive? Generally, if you use tags, you'll want to come up with a consistent system for general pieces of info like people, form of media, time period, etc. If you have a more specific archive topic or an interest, like you really want to log Mikey's sock collection during the bullets era or something, consider adding tags for that. You can have fun with these :)

Make it easy to figure out what kind of organization system your archive uses. This might mean a taglist, a general explanation of your methods, or some combination thereof.

I'm sure that I missed some points here, and as I said, a lot of this advice is a little more general because I haven't spent a lot of time doing archiving for MCR specifically, and it mainly pertains to archiving through photo uploading, but I hoped it answered some questions for anyone interested in getting into archiving. As always, i'm happy to answer any questions based on my own experiences :) happy archiving!!!

#my chemical romance #mcr #archiving #hope this all made sense! i hope i didnt get too technical sdkjhasdkjsad #answered #mine

142 notes · View notes

blacklupin-halestilinski · 1 year

Text

I don't understand why so many of mdzs fans hate jiang cheng .They are looking at wwx & lwj pov side and why can't they look at jc story from his side as well.

Madam yu was a bad mother but a great leader. She was blinded by hatred. And fengmian can't be called a good person too. He mistreated his own son because he looked like his mother . Jc was a child , all jc wanted loving parents . But madam yu doesn't know how to show love or affection & fengmian knew how to do it, but he didn't even care about it. The only good thing fengmian did was adopt wy & the only good thing madam yu did was care about jc somehow .I will never forget this, which is that fengmian picked jc less than 5 times (according to him) but each time was enough to keep him happy for months .He didn't like jc because he was like madam yu and he never saw how hard jc worked to please him and get his attention. Madam yu used this as a weapon . They were passing jc between the two of them like he was just a toy, and they didn't know how much damage it had done to the boy since he was a child. Can you imagine how depressed he was since childhood? Jyl was the only one who gave him a little relief, but don't forget that after wy came to lotus peir , he got the full attention of not only his father but also his sister. He was so alone but still loved & cared wy. How is it when not only parents but others compare him with wy and always say that you can't do this and that? He was a little boy then , Because of his family & others his insecurity about himself and the feeling that no one likes him increased.

He was not 16-17 years old when the collapsed clan was handed over to him. The entire clan has been destroyed, there are about 50-100 people. Even his parents were killed and he could not find his brother. Also, he lost his golden core when he went to protect wy. Don't forget that time wen chao captured him and tortured him, beating him with discipline whips after removing his golden core. And he had to see his people killed in front of his eyes and had to see his whole clan burn to ashes . And that time how many people tried to take his place because he was young and had no one to help him? No one can imagine his mental state at that time. But, he endured all of them and rebuilt the clan from scratch.

After wy came back, others blamed jc for all of wy's mistakes. Jc is angry because wy didn't choose him. At a time when his clan is still being built, jc can't choose both his brother and the members of the wen clan. That's why he told his brother to come to him, because he will protect his brother no matter what anyone says. Yiling belonged to yunmenng and who protected them during those three years? And he wasn't there at JZ's death, so he believed the rumours. And think about it, he is a brother as well as a clan leader. If he makes a small mistake, it will go outside his clan. And if he doesn't go with wy's seige, what will happen to his rebuilding clan? His sister died in front of his eyes and went to protect wy. Not only that ,in front of his eyes wy divested his qi.(I am talking about the mdzs plot because the plot of cql/tu has been completely changed) He loved his brother & sister more than his parents. Because Yanali and Xian were like his parents since childhood.

Who can bear that pain within three years he lost his entire family. In the end, he was left with only that one-month-old child without parents. He didn't kill his brother, but everyone said he did. How does he feel the pain when others says that? God, he is a human too.If he hates wy so much, why did he keep chengquing a secret from everyone for 16 years? And when wy came back he knew it was his brother. If he hates wy so much, he could have told everyone that he is back? And others don't know if it's true or false about jc torturing dark cultivatiors , it's all rumours. Also, even after wy came back, jc was angry because he chose lz instead of jc.

He is sad and angry not because of anything, Because no matter how much he trusts wy, wy doesn't trust him. That's why he says that if wy hid the fact that he gave the golden core to jc as a secret, he will also keep the loss of his golden core as a secret. He knows that even if his brother comes back, he doesn't want him and that's why he let him go. Jc's sacrifices for everyone, his pains, his everything are hidden from everyone by his outer character.

If we take the story from the beginning to the end, is he not the one who has been alone all the time without anything and bearing all the pain alone? All he wanted was a loving family.

It's so sad that everyone misunderstands him without seeing his story from his side 💔.

Jiang cheng is a person who hide his soft and weak heart by acting strict .

#jiang cheng #mdzs fandom #mdzs #jiang wanyin #mo dao zu shi #wei wuxain #jiang cheng deserve better #yunmeng jiang #jiang yanli #jin ling #canon jiang cheng

80 notes · View notes

phantomrose96 · 2 years

Note

Literally on the topic of marriage we have the same hat. I'm aroace and it's very unlikely i'd ever marry, but if i ever do decide to for legal benefits or something, i'd just stand in line to get the certificate. i am NOT doing a wedding they're so damn expensive and also really boring.

Oh mood worm.

So so many parts of wedding planning fall under my list of "things I deeply dislike doing"

Spending A Lot Of Money. It just makes me anxious even if I have the money. And IF I'm gonna spend a ton of it then I want to spend it on myself, quite honestly. Having several tens-of-thousands of dollars evaporate in a single day in order to have like 100 people at a party? ...No.

Organizing A Whole Production. I hate organizing big things. I hate dealing with the two-dozen things that are inevitably gonna go wrong and require endless telephone-tag. I hate making 1,000 micro-decisions to put on a whole production. No I don't want to pick out flowers. No I don't want to pick out bridesmaids' dresses. No I don't want to pick the music. No I don't wanna deal with the fallout when something inevitably goes wrong with the flowers or the bridesmaids or the music.

Attending A Party I Can't Leave. I believe in the SACRED right of being able to bounce from a party whenever I feel like I've had enough. Great seeing yall I'm tired goodbye. Not an option if it's my wedding.

Figuring Out Who To Invite. I already hate playing this game when I'm just organizing a little friend get-together and I have to do math to figure out if I'm accidentally excluding someone I should be including. A wedding is That but like times 100. No I don't want to think about whether Great Aunt Kathy who I haven't seen since I was 2 should be part of the wedding. No I don't want to decide if my friendly-acquaintance from high school meets the bar of wedding invite. No I don't want to deal with the fallout of whoever I end up accidentally excluding and the inevitable family drama.

DJs Suck. Sticking to this opinion.

My Parents Are Spitefully Hatefully Messily Divorced And My Dad Is With The Woman He Cheated On My Mom With For Over A Decade Who My Mom Stalked After The Fallout And My Older Brother Has Been No-Contact With Our Mom For Three Years And Frankly I Don't Want To Figure Out That Invite List. This is a problem we all relate to.

#ask

355 notes · View notes

Last Seen Blogs

m5or

Comfy chillin

harvestyarns

HarvestYarns

pipe-valve

pipe valve

bungoblog

BSD ramblings

deltafallers

DELTAFALLERS