#I can't believe I had to actively think about why I'm so down these past few days | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

heartless-tate · 23 days

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Hi! If I may be so self indulgent and request something... 👉🏻👈🏻

Reader being a (for lack of better words) boring person. They're good at blending in within social circles but never standing out or having a circle or friend of their own. Good laughing at jokes but can't come up with good ones or even if they did, they don't have the courage to tell them outright. They're very much a chicken when it comes to expressing themselves as an individual because they're never comfortable enough around anyone. They are a chicken in general, to be honest. This essentially (and sadly) leaves them as an NPC in their own life. And they've accepted it, trying to come to terms with a life of extreme mediocrity. They're actively trying to push down any need of wanting more from life 99% of days.

However, when you're good at listening, you observe things much better and you learn things faster. And subconsciously, reader has been observing a lot of things about Velaris (including the IC). I'm not sure where this would lead but this is probably the only real skill they have; being a good observer and learner.

I leave the rest to you. I was thinking pairing them with Azriel (since he would probably understand her better) but I'm open to any modifications.

Also, just an afterthought, I've always wondered what job I would love to have in a fantasy world (and I don't know if this counts as an actual job) but something like observing the sky/stars to look for any forthcoming events sounds really cool. So I guess reader could do that since major events happen don't happen once in a hundred years or something which ultimately makes their job very boring. However, they love it because who wouldn't love spending their whole night star-gazing (potential date idea?? YESS).

Sorry this became way longer than I intended. I wouldn't judge if you chose not to write on it. Thanks & have a great day :)

Am I boring? | Azriel X boring F reader

A/N: Hiii! Tysm for your ask. I hope I captured what you were imagining right. 💖

summary: You’re a star mapper. And you’re boring with no hope of love. Or at least you believed that until Azriel came along.

1.2k words

warnings: no use of y/n, she/her pronouns, cussing??, romance?? That’s it?? I think?

The stars shined brighter tonight. Since you were a little girl, you had always been fascinated by them. How they sparkled. They were interesting, and beautiful- unlike you. Maybe that’s why you clung onto them.

You pulled a piece of parchment from your bag, and started mapping the stars. Rhysand, the highlord of the night court, had invited you to his court to observe and map stars from this part of the world. You accepted, wanting some change. Even if you knew it wouldn’t be much of a difference to you. The inner circle was more than nice to you, and you appreciated it.

Laughter bubbled from behind you. You currently sat with your telescope on the balcony of the House of Wind. This was your third week here. Rhysand had offered you a permanent place here in the night court, but you were yet to accept. You didn’t fit in. You were a background character. A random star mapper, a job would probably never be much of use to anyone. Except weird star fanatics. Aka you. You were sure he only offered you a place here because of pity.

The inner circle seemed to really like you, and whether that was because of your quiet and shy nature, or the fact you always listened and gave great advice, or the fact you always laughed to try and fit in even if you didn’t quite understand the joke, you didn’t know. The only one who seemed to see past your mask of people pleasing was the Shadowsinger.

Anytime you ‘laughed’ at Cassian’s jokes, he was always there, smirking with a known look at you. As if he knew you. As if he had known you your whole life. Azriel had seemed curious about you. It was uncomfortable. Nobody had ever been curious about you. Everyone always enjoyed someone that they could talk to about themselves for hours. But he was the one always interrupting the other members of the inner circle to question you, on you. And your own life. And sadly you didn’t have many answers other than, “oh I don’t know.”

It made you feel weird at how interested he seemed in you. It made you feel awkward. But you knew he would lose interest once he really discovered there wasn’t actually much to you. You were a bore.

“Those stars are named Arktos, Carynth, and Oristes. They shine above that mountain for a week once a year during the blood rite.” A voice said beside you. You flinched as you noticed Azriel sitting directly by you, his shadows swirling around you both. He was always appearing out of nowhere. He handed you a plate of cake.

“Courtesy of Elain. She baked dessert tonight.” Azriel said, lifting a bite of his cake to his mouth and chewing on it.

“Oh.” You responded, setting the plate down beside you. You quickly labeled the stars on your parchment. They were beautiful.

“Do you like cake?” He questioned.

You paused and stared blank at him.

“I’m not sure?” You responded, fiddling with your hands. “It’s okay, I guess.”

Azriel smiled at you knowingly. Loud laughter boomed from the room behind you two. He looked right at you with piercing amber eyes that seemed annoyed. As if he had noticed you flinching from the loud sounds.

“Come with me? Just trust me.” He whispered, grasping your hand gently with caution. It was sudden. And you weren’t sure. You didn’t know him much. How could you trust him? But something in your body and soul screamed yes. Why not? It was risky- but life was boring.

“Okay.” You responded, gasping as he pulled you close, his wings wrapping you close to him, and his shadows swarming around you both before all of a sudden you were now standing on a cliff. Oh gods. His hands were on your hips gently, his wings spread wide, letting you see the view.

You both stood on a cliff that overlooked a waterfall and river. The moon reflected in the water and the stars did too, creating a mirror effect. It was probably the most gorgeous sight you had ever seen.

“Its- it’s…” Your words fumbled, mouth open in shock. “Beautiful..” you whispered. His breath was hot against your ear.

“Very.” He whispered back. When you looked at him he wasn’t even looking at the view. His eyes were glued on you. And he was looking at you as if you were a goddess. Azriel’s eyes softened, with adoration. It scared you. Nobody had ever looked at you like that. With a blush you realized he was holding you like a lover. He smirked at you as if knowing you just realized it.

Azriel slowly let go and used his wing to guide you to turn around. Blankets and pillows were on the ground. Like a picnic but a nest. His shadows swirled excitedly around the set up. He guided you gently to the set up, helping you sit down before sitting beside you.

“Do you want your mapping materials? My shadows can retrieve them for you. I wasn’t sure if you’d want to just relax and enjoy this night or continue star mapping.” He murmured.

You thought for a second. This was odd. Was this a date? Or did he do this with all of his friends? Did you want to map or did you want to enjoy this night with him?

“No it’s okay.” You replied, eyes glued to the stars above. They were much clearer from this view then from the House of Wind. You guess the city lights blurred them out. But here? They were in their full glory.

“Why did you bring me here?” He seemed to pause before responding.

“My shadows told me you might be leaving soon. This is my attempt at convincing you to stay here. In the night court. With your mate.” Azriel confessed.

He watched your eyebrows furrow.

“Mate? I don’t have a mate-“ you panicked.

His wings cocooned you and his arm enveloped you. It was like he could sense your panic. He rocked you back and forth like a child. And it was comforting.

“I’m your mate. I’ve known since I’ve met you. I thought I would have more time to get to know you and the bond would snap for you, but then my shadows informed me of your soon departure.”

You swallowed, throat bobbing. You blinked a few times. “There isn’t anything about me to get to know.” You replied harshly. Azriel’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. Shadows swirled around you both, some tendrils caressing you.

“Don’t say that. I know it isn’t true. Everyday I learn something new about you. I don’t care what you say, you are the most interesting person I’ve ever met.” He said, words much louder and firmer now. He thinks you’re interesting?

“Stay. Stay with me. Let me get to know you. I don’t expect you to accept the bond anytime soon. But give me- give us a chance.” Azriel said, wings tightening around you both. His eyes bore into you, with a fierce and loving look in them. You couldn’t help but soften in his hold.

You realized then, you deserved love. And for once a belonging feeling overwhelmed your senses.

“I’ll stay.”

Hope you guys enjoyed 💗

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starry-eyes-love · 29 days

Text

Calm Me Down

Main Masterlist Joel Miller Masterlist

The next chapter in the Marriage Dynamics series

Pairing | Husband Joel Miller x Wife F!Reader- AU, No Outbreak

Summary | You wake up having a panic attack, and Joel calms you down. This results in the two of you talking, calming each other’s fears, and finally working through your problems. You feel movement in your pregnancy for the first time while Joel silently talks to his unborn child, asking for a gift that he doesn’t know yet but will receive.

Work Count: 5.5K

Warnings | Series is 18+, Minor DNI

Age difference (implied), language, descriptions of anxiety/panic attack, flashbacks, marriage dynamics (these two finally communicate), hurt and comfort, tenderness and love, mentions of pregnancy, you feel baby movement for the first time, mild reference to past cheating (your father and Joel's ex-wife, not from Joel or you), mild references in the past to physical abuse by your father, references to berating your father did to you in the past.

A/N: Sorry for taking so long on this next part, but here you are. As a reminder, I no longer do tag lists. Make sure to turn on notifications for when I post new written pieces.

“Baby, look at me,” Joel said sternly, turning you around to face him. He immediately searched your eyes to get you to look at him. Joel reached out instinctively and placed a steady hand on your belly, slowly rubbing it and feeling the soft swell of your stomach that was holding and caring for his child. He was trying to help ground you and reassure you that you were okay and that your baby would be alright, too.

These moments come out of nowhere: the sheer panic, the sweaty palms, the narrowing vision. You don't know why, but suddenly, it feels like the whole world is crashing down around you, like you are falling fast off of a cliff, unable to save yourself from sudden death. Your heart races, and you're stuck believing the lies in your head. The lies that you know are not true.

“I'm not good enough. I can't do this. I'll never be more than what I am now: a failure. My husband doesn't love me.”

This feeling inside seizes you, holds you tight, and doesn't allow you to take a proper breath. And that's ok, you think. You don't need to breathe, not yet. But the feeling doesn't stop, and your body eventually screams for another breath. The thing is, though, you can't get any air in, so you panic once again. The cycle never ends. It keeps repeating until you're drowning in your sweat and anxiety. You're having a goddamn panic attack, one that you haven't had in many years. To say you're embarrassed doesn't even come close to describing your emotions. The word you require fails to come to you, so you settle for fear, embarrassment, and loneliness.

You've been way too stressed your entire pregnancy. You're a week shy of being 20 weeks along with your third baby and your fourth pregnancy.

Yeah, we won't talk about that pregnancy. The daughter that you lost at 22 weeks pregnant. To this day, you still don't like thinking about it.

Even though this is a different pregnancy, things seem to haven't gone how you wanted. You finally did tell Joel that you were pregnant at your doctor's appointment when you started spotting blood. You were scared of admitting pregnancy to him, especially when you two had barely talked since Halloween. You didn't know why; you just weren't getting along. It's funny how life does that sometimes, isn't it?

Even though your 20th-week ultrasound was just a few days away, you felt embarrassed that nothing seemed to go as planned this time. You hadn't told Joel you were pregnant technically until you were having bleeding problems. You weren't sexually active with your husband. There was no celebration of being pregnant, just awkward silence, mostly of which came from you. Joel attempted to speak with you, but you'd always clam up and not talk. If you were being honest, it wasn't until late at night on Christmas Eve that Joel and you started to talk and get along again.

Now, you lay awake in bed, your mind racing, running wild with panic at all the scenarios that weren't even happening. But it felt like they were happening now, and you were scared. You were drowning in panic, unable to slow your mind down, wishing for anything to stop it.

I'm not good enough. My husband doesn’t want this and doesn't want to be with me. I'm such a horrible wife for not telling him.

Your thoughts wouldn't stop. Your mind kept racing, and you felt like you were drowning. The walls were once again closing in around you, sucking you underneath the surface. You desperately needed a lifeline to grab onto, something to save you from yourself. That's when you felt your husband reach out to you and pull you tight against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you, securing you to him while gently whispering, “Baby, come on now, breathe.”

Earlier in the night, Joel had decided not to sleep with his shirt on, something he hadn’t done in a long time. After his shower, he noticed the way you were looking at him. Eyes wide, lips slightly parted, you looked at him like you desperately needed something primal from him.

“What's that look for, baby?” He said, glancing over at you and raising just his eyebrow. He was taunting you, wanting you to voice all those dirty little things that he knew you were thinking. He could tell by the look on your face, the way you were breathing, and how you were slowly squeezing your thighs together that you were turned on and sexually aroused. Joel may not be able to give you penetrative sex yet, but dammit, he could eat his wife's pussy if she wanted it. And Joel secretly hoped that you wished to do that tonight.

“I-uh, I-'' you said, stuttering and stammering at the words. You couldn't voice it or say it out loud for some reason. You were never afraid of dirty talk in the bedroom. But considering it has been almost 20 weeks, nearly five months since the two of you have done anything sexual, you were a bit nervous.

“Why don't you finish getting ready for bed, baby, then come over here, and I'll get ya all nice and relaxed for bed.”

“What did you have in mind?” You asked, hoping Joel would voice it for you.

“Oh, darlin’, you know what I have in mind,” he said, slowly sticking his tongue out and moving it up and down like he does when he licks at you fast when he goes down on you.

You quickly nodded your head and then ran into the bathroom. You needed a shower and desperately needed a shave. You spent the next 20 minutes making yourself feel more sexy and presentable. But when you entered the bedroom, you noticed all your work was in vain. Joel was lying down and loudly snoring already. Immediately, your heart sank at seeing him fast asleep.

Joel intended to give you, his wife, some much-needed affection and attention. But he underestimated how tired he was. When his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light and asleep within seconds. You, however, had laid there with your eyes open, overthinking stuff once again.

You loved being pregnant, but you hated the first part of pregnancy, where the anxiety was horrible. Your doctor said because your hormones change so much in the first stages of pregnancy, anxiety is common among women. And boy, did you ever have anxiety, especially this time around with being pregnant in your late 30s.

Even though your hormones were already leveling out, you were still nervous about knowing if your baby was growing healthy inside of you. You knew that after your 20-week ultrasound appointment, you would calm down. But you just had to get there first. You were nervous about losing this pregnancy. You remember the pregnancy you had lost; that 20th-week ultrasound showed significant problems. If everything would show that you were ok, just like the two other pregnancies did with your boys, you knew you'd calm down. You kept telling yourself that everything would be ok. But that crippling anxiety kept sneaking up at you at the worst times and holding you tight, like tonight.

The longer the night continued, the more you wanted to reach out and have your husband hold you tight to help calm your fears. But he looked so peaceful lying there sleeping; you didn't want to wake him. You both were getting along again, and there was no more fighting between you. So you didn't know where this anxiousness was coming from tonight. Your body felt off, and you didn't know why. You had tried to fall asleep, struggling with your mind to get any rest. At one point, you had dozed off a little bit, but you quickly woke up in a panic, sweating profusely. You were smack dab in the middle of yet another bad panic attack. You haven't had one of these episodes of panic for many years. Usually, stress or something larger would trigger them, but nothing unusual has happened recently. So you lay there silently, trying to will all of these bad feelings that you were having away. But no matter what you did, you could still feel your heart race and your chest constrict. It felt like you couldn't fully take a deep breath. You were drowning fast in terror and panic, not knowing if you could get yourself out of it anymore. You didn't realize in your panicked state that your husband woke up. But then, all of a sudden, when your chest constricted the tightest, and you thought you were going to die from lack of oxygen, you felt Joel’s strong arms wrap around you. He gently pulled you to him, where your back met his chest. He let out a long exhale while slowly whispering, “Baby, come on, breathe.

After Joel had laid down, he had fallen asleep suddenly, too suddenly for his liking. He wanted to cuddle you and give you much-needed attention and affection. Joel could see that you were stressed with work and raising the boys, and Joel's chaotic work schedule didn't help you. He recently hired a manager to work out in the field with Tommy so he could stay back in the office more and focus on the business side of things. His contracting business was expanding, growing at a rapid rate where Joel didn’t need to be out in the field all the time working. He could take that much-needed break and focus his time and skills on the best ways of growing his company.

Joel suddenly was jolted awake by something, but he was unsure of what. When he opened his eyes, Joel saw your back as you were facing away from him. Joel thought maybe it was a bad dream that had woken him up. Slowly, he ran his hand down his face, slightly shaking it and yawning to clear his head. Upon looking over at you again, Joel saw that you were curled up into a ball, looking like you were resting peacefully. He smiled silently, admiring you and what looked like your peaceful slumber. But then he heard it, the small sob that left your chest as you struggled to breathe in air. Joel frowned, knowing all too well that you were panicking and having a bad panic attack yet again.

Baby, I thought we stopped these, he thought, not enjoying seeing his wife struggle. He knew you were drowning in your head, unable to get your head above water as gulp after gulp of quick spurts of air were leaving your lungs. You were like a lost ship out to sea, desperately looking for a way back into port. Joel knew he was your only lifeline, and it broke his heart that he needed to be this again. He loved you and always supported you, but seeing you panic like this broke his heart. Something was bothering you, and he hoped, like hell, that someone wasn’t him.

“Baby, come on, breathe.” He said, slowly reaching out to you and pulling you into his chest.

But you couldn't; your heart was hammering in your chest, and it wouldn't slow down. “I can't breathe,” you said, hyperventilating and sobbing. You didn't know what was wrong or why, but it felt like you couldn't breathe. “Something’s wrong, Joel, I can’t- I can’t breathe.” You said, rushing air in and out of your lungs fast.

As soon as your eyes met his, you started sobbing and saying, “I can't do this. I'm a failure. I'm always fucking up. No one cares about m-me or loves me.”

“No, babe. Come on now, look at me,” Joel said, cupping your cheeks and forcing you to open your eyes to look at him. “Come on, with me, yeah? Breathe.” Joel then took a slow, deep breath, and you mirrored his actions.

“That’s it, sugar, nice and slow,” he said, breathing with you. He was trying to slow your breathing down. After readjusting himself, Joel sat beside you, gently taking your hand and placing it on his chest, holding it tight against him.

“Feel how I breathe, darlin', now match it. Come on now, slow breath in.”

*Joel took a slow breath in.*

“Now, slowly breathe out.”

*Joel slowly breathed out.*

“And again,” he said, getting you to focus on slowing your breathing down. One of his hands held yours against his chest so that you could feel the pattern of his breaths. The other hand was protectively lying over your bump, gently stroking the skin, centering both you and him that everything was alright with your baby.

After several moments of slowing your breathing and getting you to breathe normally again, you finally sighed and said, “Thanks, Joel.”

Still sitting above you, Joel furrowed his brow as he looked at you. He didn’t know why you were having a panic attack tonight. It stressed him out and worried him, especially since you were pregnant. He didn’t want you to get too stressed out and put the baby you were carrying under any more stress. After a long moment of observing you, Joel finally sighed and asked, “Why d’ya think you’re a failure?” As he waited for your response, he slowly started stroking your belly once again.

“I don’t know, I- I was upset and spouted my mouth off. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

“Don’t give me that shit of ‘didn’t mean anything by it.’ Christ woman.” Joel said, pinching the bridge of his nose with his hand while removing his other hand from your belly.

You frowned slightly at his movements, knowing that now he was agitated. You didn't want to have any more arguments with him. You two have been finally getting along for a while, and you weren't in the mood to go back to the way things were, where you hardly spoke, and if you did, it would result in an argument. To you, those days were behind you.

When Joel felt you stiffen below him, he froze. He was frustrated at the situation tonight. Something was bothering you to the point where it made you panic, and he wanted to know why. Why did you think that you were a failure? He felt his heart ache when you continued to look up at the ceiling, not wanting to look at him for fear that it'd start another argument.

Since when did Joel Miller become such an asshole that his wife didn't want to look at him? Since when did he become your father?

Joel took a deep breath and sighed, realizing how harsh his attitude had been these past few months. Yeah, you two haven't had sex since Halloween, almost five months ago. He reasoned with himself that the lack of sexual intercourse was because of the doctor's orders. But you two haven't done anything else either. Joel didn't blame you; he blamed himself for the change. Tommy even commented the other day to Joel that his brother had changed, but not in a good way. Yeah, Joel Miller was an asshole. But what bothered him the most was he's been an asshole to you, and you've never deserved it.

Sighing at this realization, he turned towards you and gently touched your chin. “Hey, look at me, will ya,” he said, cupping your cheek with his hand. When you finally decided to look at him, he smiled tenderly and whispered, “I love you. You know that, right, baby?”

He felt his eyes sting when you didn't answer and just stared at him. Joel Miller has been drastically fucking things up.

“I'm so fucking sorry, darlin’,” he said while gently placing his hand back again on your bump. “I’m sorry for makin’ this. For fucking everything up where I wasn’t there for you emotionally like I should have been.”

You just glared at him, struggling to keep your tears from falling. “Y-you didn't, shit,” you said, brushing a single tear away from your cheeks. I’m not doing this right now. I’m not going to break down again, you thought.

Joel could see you were struggling not to get emotional, and he was trying so hard to find ways to fix what he had already broken. “Baby, I was so mad at what ya told me on Halloween. That I wasn't rockin’ your sexual world anymore. I got, fuck baby, I got mad and jealous.”

“Seriously? What could you have been jealous about?” You said, snapping at him with more force than you intended. You were confused and slightly irritated at your husband. Joel was the one who shut you out after Halloween, not you. He barely spoke to you, held you; hell, he still hasn't even fucked you since that night. Sure, you pulled away, too, and you didn't tell him you were pregnant. But every time you tried to open up, he'd shut you down, yell at you, or treat you like you weren't his wife. You sat in silence, not knowing how to respond to your husband. Joel wasn't moving or answering you either, and for a minute, you thought that maybe he'd fallen asleep. But then you heard it, a sniffle, followed by a choked-off sob.

“Joel-” you said softer, looking over at him as you noticed tears streaming down his face. He placed a hand over his eyes, sobbing into it. You didn't understand what was happening or why he was giving you this emotional response.

“I'm s-sorry. I'm so fucking sorry that you d-don't want to be w-with me anymore.” Joel said, continuing to sob into his hand.

Where the hell was this all coming from? You thought. “Baby, what are you talking about? Of course I-”

“Don’t,” Joel said sternly, quickly brushing his tears away. Joel hated crying by himself, and he hated crying in front of you. After taking a moment to collect himself, he leaned down and whispered to your belly, “I'm so sorry that Daddy has fucked this up. I-I love both you and your mama so fucking much, ok?” He gently kissed your belly and wiped the remaining tears from his eyes away. When he sat up, he looked around the room, admiring the home you two had built together, with the front of him facing away from you.

Joel wouldn't look at you, even when you asked him. You were scared, scared of what was coming next. You knew this scene, knew it well from your father. It would be the moment that Joel would tell you he’s been sleeping with someone else. He’d tell you that you were too much for him and that he couldn’t help it, that it was an accident. You also waited for the words ‘you ruined my life’ to come to his lips, just like your father told you before. But the longer you waited, the longer it was apparent that those words would never come. That’s when you felt your heart begin to race again.

“I can practically hear those gears turning in your head, love. Stop overthinking things. I just wanted to say that you deserve better; you both do. And I know I'm not your favorite human right now and that you’re ashamed to carry my child-”

“Joel Miller, what are you even talking about? I'm not ashamed of-”

Joel stopped you by raising a hand, silencing you, saying, “Please, just let me finish.” He then continued when he knew you wouldn't interrupt him again. “I've, I'm- shit- I'm not good with this stuff, with words. I just- fuck.”

Joel didn't know what he was trying to say. He felt sorry for Halloween and for the miscommunication you two had. He’s been moody since then and not present in his marriage. He was also very sorry for not making you feel comfortable enough to tell him things again, like when you were first pregnant. But most of all, he was sorry for disappointing you as a man and husband.

When Joel realized the last admission in his mind, he felt tears well up again. You had opened your mouth to speak again, but Joel interrupted you by saying, “Ya know, I think my ex-wife was right all those years ago.”

“How so?” you said, tensing at the mention of her.

“She said I always fucked things up, and that's why she was- uh- why it didn't work out between us.” Joel almost said it. The thing he hadn’t told you. That his first wife was unfaithful because he wasn't present in their marriage and didn't give her enough support after Sarah was born.

“Joel,” you said while slowly grabbing his hand. “Baby, I'm not her, and for the record, you ain't fucking things up.”

Joel snorted at your comment, saying, “Darlin', we both know that ain't true. You're pregnant with my child. And you didn't even want to tell me because of it, because of me.”

“Joel, I didn't tell you because I was scared. I'm a woman in my middle thirties who told her husband life was stale in the bedroom. On that same night, he also knocked me up. I wanted to tell you immediately, but as soon as I attempted, you weren't there. You were working 16-hour days and moody because of no help at work. Yeah, I fucked up. I should have said something, but I was scared. I was scared I was trapping you in a marriage you didn't want.”

“What do you mean a marriage I didn't want? Baby, I love you and want you, always. I've never felt trapped, not ever. Why are you thinkin’ that?” Joel said, screwing his face up and not understanding why you thought he didn't want to be married.

“I don't know, just something my dad said when-”

“I ain't your old man,” Joel said, grinding his teeth and flaring his nostrils. At one time, your father, Pat, was Joel's best friend. But that abruptly ended when Pat laid his hands on his daughter and unforgivably hurt her.

“I know it's just- I was worried you didn't want this, want me. I know I'm a lot, a handful, that-” Your voice started to tremble, and your lip was quivering. You couldn't say it out loud. But Joel knew it was the last thing you heard your father say before you walked out of his life, forever.

Flashback

“Joel, I know my daughter, ok? She's a handful, a complete pain in the ass, and a liability. One that I wish like hell wasn't my damn responsibility anymore. So do yourself a favor; don't get involved. She'll just ruin your life. She’s already ruined mine.”

You had stood there and heard your father tell Joel, your new fiance, he didn't want you as a daughter anymore. That you being around was a burden to him and his life. You were standing in the kitchen as Pat, your father, talked to Joel in the living room. You weren't supposed to hear the conversation, and you knew that. But with what you heard, it had shattered you. You walked out of your father's house with tears in your eyes, never returning. It was good that you walked out before you heard your father's last comment. The one comment that yet today made Joel grind his teeth and see red anytime he thought about it.

“Joel, that girl of mine is nothin’ but a goddamn whore. A bitch, just like her mother. She'll just hurt you in the end. My advice, make sure you have a little something on the side, a nice piece of ass as I did, just as a pick me up. Trust me, you'll get sick of looking at her pathetic ass day in and day out. I did with her mother, and it felt great to go and get some much-needed attention from the girls I had on the side…”

After your father called you a whore and told Joel what took place when Joel had you hang out at his house, he felt sick and saw red with anger. Your dad's weekend trips and late-night house calls were due to him fucking around on your mom, a woman who was battling cancer and eventually lost. But the worst thing that Joel found out was that all those black eyes you were supporting in high school and college weren't because you got into a fight or that a boyfriend hit you. No, Pat was getting drunk and using his fists against his daughter's face. Joel also had a sneaky suspicion that the two cracked ribs you had in college also came from Pat. Joel couldn't believe that his best friend did that, and worse, you never said anything. Joel would have stopped it immediately if he had known. Pat was no longer in either of your lives anymore.

Present Day

“Baby, you ain't too much, so stop thinking that. C’mere.” Joel said, having you come and sit on his lap while he placed his back against the headboard.

He helped you straddle him, putting your hard baby belly against his softer belly. Your bump prevented you from getting as close as usual, but it was close enough that Joel could still wrap his arms around you and rest his forehead against yours.

“Now, darlin’, I want you to take a deep breath for me, ok?” After you took a deep breath and slowly let it out, you felt your heartbeat return to normal, along with his.

“I’m so sorry, Joel, that I didn’t tell you-”

“Don’t. Please darlin’. I-I don’t care what we’ve done before. I care about the right here and now. Please.”

You could feel how stressed Joel was. How his muscles tensed with you, referencing you were sorry again for not telling your husband at the beginning of your pregnancy that you were pregnant. If you could do it again, but differently, you would. But that’s not life. Life is about living in the moment, feeling emotions, and allowing yourself to experience it in its messy glory. It’s about making mistakes and then learning from those mistakes. But most of all, it’s about forgiveness, hope, compassion, love, and understanding. You both understood that the choices made these past few months were out of anger, frustration, and loneliness.

With your eyes closed and your understanding of the situations that have surrounded the two of you for a while, you quietly said, “I love you, old man.”

Joel let out a small snort at your teasing. ‘Old man’ was a nickname you gave him long ago when the two of you started dating, and now it was a term of endearment.

“I love you too, baby girl,” he said, slowly nuzzling his nose against yours.

When you pulled back and opened your eyes, you saw your husband looking at you lovingly. His eyes were so soft, tenderness seen behind them. He was your lifeline that tethered you to this world, keeping you anchored and not drifting. When he slowly kissed you, you felt him tell you in the kiss that you were loved and that everything would be alright. He was your rock, your protector, your soulmate. But more importantly, he was your Joel. The man who saw you for what you were inside. He saw past your faults and insecurities, of you believing you were too much. He gave you a safe place to land and be in the moment. You had a lifetime with him, helped him raise Sarah, and gave birth to two strong-willed little boys you loved dearly. And now you were pregnant again, with a baby that was half him and half you growing inside of you. This little one was very much a surprise, but the best possible surprise. It forced you both to stop your chaotic lives and slow down to remember what life was all about Love.

After several tender kisses, you started to giggle against his mouth. Joel pulled back at your giggling, confused at your antics. “Darlin’, are you laughing at me?”

You continued giggling and said, “No, Joel, I’m not,” but then you giggled again.

“Baby, please-”

“Joel, I just felt the baby move.”

Joel’s eyebrows shot up, surprised, looking at you with excitement. “R-really? Just now?”

“Yes, just now, when I was thinking how much I loved you and how much this child is teaching us that we need to communicate still, to be strong, and-”

Joel slowly moved his hands down to your stomach and rubbed it tenderly. He knew he wouldn’t feel movement for another few weeks. But seeing you feel life for the first time was the best possible gift one could experience with you. The joy on your face at the realization that a baby was growing inside you, one that he helped create.

“There it is again,” you said, smiling and giggling. You placed your hand right over Joel’s hand, right where you felt movement. It felt like a cricket, or something ran across your stomach, but from the inside. It was always the oddest feeling that you’d feel. It wasn’t a full kick yet; those would come in a few weeks. But in this movement, it always made you laugh when you’d feel it for the first time.

When you looked up at Joel, you were beaming with the biggest smile, while he had the most tender look in his eyes. Softly, he rubbed his thumb back and forth over your skin, giving you and his baby affection. “She's telling her mama that she loves her.”

“Joel, it’s too early. We don’t-” you said, choking up with emotion. Joel knew you wanted a girl so badly, especially after the two of you lost the only pregnancy before where you were pregnant with a girl. It was a sore subject for the two of you.

Before, when you were pregnant with a girl, Joel had come home early from work because you said you weren’t feeling well. He noticed you were sleeping on the couch when he entered the house. Joel quietly went upstairs and showered, but you yelled for him while he was washing his body. Joel quickly rinsed himself off and ran out to the living room, wearing nothing but a towel with water still dripping down his back. When he got to you, you were sitting up and crying. When he had asked you what was wrong, you pulled back the blanket, and Joel saw a large pool of bright red blood on the couch. You were rushed to the hospital by ambulance, but it was already too late. The girl you were pregnant with had no heartbeat detected. You stayed in the hospital for observation, delivering the tiny baby that night.

After you were asleep in the hospital, Joel had gone home. He took the sledgehammer to the couch, tears streaming down his face while hitting it. Tommy found him beating the hell out of the sofa, crying and screaming at how much he hated the world for taking the one thing that you wanted away from you: a little girl.

And now, all these years later, when you hear Joel reference a girl, you can’t help but get scared. Sure, you hoped for a girl and dreamed of it again, but you also didn't want to go through losing another baby once again.

“It’s just a hunch, darlin’, and don’t worry, mama; I’ll keep you both safe. Now come on, time for you both to go to bed.” Joel said, wrapping you in his arms to help silence your fears.

Joel laid you down and got you situated after he brought you some water to drink. He pulled you tight to him, your back against his bare chest as he traced small circles on your belly, helping you quickly fall asleep. After Joel knew you were sleeping soundly, he quietly whispered, “Little one, please stay in here no matter what, ok? I don’t know if you’re a girl or a boy, but I think you may be a girl this time. Regardless, your mama needs you to be healthy, and Daddy needs you to be healthy. You’ve heard bad words these past few months when your mama and I have been arguing. But please know, I’m beyond excited to be a dad yet again, your dad. I love you both so much, ok. Stay in there, and let your mama have a nice, easy pregnancy, ok? I love you.”

Joel stilled his hand on your bump, gently holding it snug while he drifted off to sleep. Neither of you knew that deep inside your belly, a tiny baby girl was growing nice and strong. Even though this pregnancy was difficult at times, that baby had no plans of leaving anytime soon. She would be the miracle and the one thing that helped you focus on fixing your marriage once and for all.

They say that life throws the most challenging curveballs when you least expect them and that sometimes those challenging events shape you into a better human being. That’s always been the story for you and Joel, and now, you both are about to enter the exciting part of your pregnancy—the one that will reshape your current Marriage Dynamics.

End of Chapter

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celaenaeiln · 12 days

Note

I know you don't really talk about Tim and Jason but I wondered why you said that Bruce likes Jason more then Tim when I always viewed it the other way around

og post in reference

Anon it's a such a coincidence for me to get this because this was something I actively debated over while creating the ranking.

In fact, originally I had written "4. Jason/Tim (tie?) 5. Tim/Jason (tie)" before I got rid of the slashes and ties.

This is the one part of the ranking that I'm most confused on/don't have an exact answer for. The rest are solid and those I'll be explaining in a different post soon but these two gave me a lot of confusion.

I think what it comes down to is in which shitty way that Bruce treats either of them expresses more love. And to me they're roughly the same in equally but different bad ways.

Bruce obviously loves Jason but he's also not remotely proud of him. His relationship with Jason is always "I love you BUT-" kinda relationship.

"You're good-

Batman (1940) Issue #415

BUT-"

Batman (1940) Issue #415

"You're loveable-

Batman (1940) Issue #410

BUT-"

Batman (1940) Issue #411

There's always an opposing side to every good thing Bruce says about him. He views Jason as a failure but he still loves him and yet can't help putting him down. After Bruce dies, he leaves a message for Jason -

Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #3

Like Bruce full on treats him like absolute shit. How could you as a parent tell your son straight to his face that he's a failure and then say that it's your fault?? Somehow this is adding more insult than injury than to just blame him directly.

Bruce and Jason had good and bad times when he was Robin. There many times when Bruce was like "Good job, lab!" and other times when he struggled to deal with Jason. There was one case in particular that soured their relationship irrevocably. Things became really bad between them after that such that Bruce actively fights with himself not to lose his temper at Jason more than he used to.

For example:

Batman (1940) Issue #426

Things get worse and worse, Batman benches him, Jason runs off to Ethiopia, and then you-know-what happens. In summary of their Robin-Batman relationship, Bruce thought he found a good partner in Jason, was happy for a while, but then started believing he made a mistake when Jason used the skills he taught him to go past the limits of what Bruce was acceptable with. The secret Bruce talks about is that one irreversible case I mentioned - Gloria/Felipe - where Jason killed a man. Or atleast Bruce suspects he killed a man.

Batman (1940) Issue #422

Batman (1940) Issue #424

When Jason came back as Red Hood, Batman felt so guilty for the fact that he made Jason robin because then Jason wouldn't have died but also believed that Jason was beyond saving. When Jason was at the hands of the society because of Black Mask who wanted revenge on him for what he did, Bruce almost let Jason die a second time - this time intentionally - before he changed his mind last minute and joined the fight to help him out.

Batman: Under the Red Hood Issue #10

It's this type of relationship I struggle with because Bruce very much loves him and even says so -

Batman: Hush Issue #11

But also guess what tips him off that he's not fighting Jason?

Batman: Hush Issue #11

I call this confusing but Dick calls this something else entirely.

Batman: Battle for the Cowl Issue #3

Tough love.

Maybe, but I guess how I would make out their relationship to be is: if Jason acts within Bruce's expectations, then Bruce loves him. If he doesn't then Bruce doesn't hold back hitting and punching. I don't think their relationship is tough love as much as it is conditional love. There are conditions to the way Jason must act in order for Bruce to love him and if he doesn't act that way then he stops caring about his son. He's happy if Jason comes to gatherings but doesn't particularly care if he doesn't. He leaves Jason alone if he follows his rules but actively goes after him if he doesn't. Both in his Robin days and now, Bruce doesn't tolerate Jason if he acts outside expectation but still loves him and although it's not the kind of love you would appreciate, it's also not the kind you can set aside and call it nothing. It's complicated. That's Jason and Bruce's relationship.

Tim on the other hand, he's very proud of. He thinks Tim is excellent, smart, dependable, and loves him very much.

Batman (2016) Issue #128

But I feel like Bruce takes him for granted.

Bruce was both neglectful and very involved in Tim's life.

Bruce means a lot to Tim in the sense that he was a true father to him.

Batman (1940) Issue #480

Tim's dad Jack gets really worried that Tim might consider Bruce more of a father than him. "Maybe - But I'm your father, Tim. Not him!"

The developing relationship between Bruce and Tim was based originally on need. Bruce needed someone who he could work with and Tim needed someone who could be there for him. As time evolved that need turned into liking which turned into love.

After Jason, Bruce needed someone who listened to him completely. Someone who never questioned him or doubted his orders and Tim was everything Bruce needed and he loved that.

Batman (1940) Issue #467

Bruce invested a LOT of time into Tim's training and he also depends on him heavily but at the same time I feel like he constantly brushes off Tim's words and worries.

Robin (1993) Issue #9

Batman: Urban Legends Issue #10

The classic "I trust you but I know better than you" x 10. And it's this thing that gives me doubts because I get this inexplicable sense of distance in their relationship. Bruce loves, trusts, and cares for him but I feel like there's something missing.

This being said, I realize that there's no clear explanation as to why I feel this way so I'll change the ranking back to "tie" for the two of them like I originally had. Because while Bruce loves Jason, he doesn't tolerate him and while Bruce loves Tim, he kinda disregards him in a way. And between these situations, I can't decide what represents more love or favoritism. I guess a part of me just felt really, REALLY bad for the way Bruce treated Jason. That post kinda shredded my heart so I gave him brownie points on the favoritism ranking list but in hindsight, after all this and writing it all out, I think Bruce loves Tim and Jason equally. It's entirely possible Bruce may actually love Tim more because unlike with Jason, I can't provide evidence of Bruce distancing himself from Tim in loving - only left with more of a sense. So in this case I agree with you, anon. It's very possible.

#jason todd #red hood #robin jason todd #tim drake #red robin #robin tim drake #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #cl anon asks #cl asks #thanks for the ask!#this is the first time I've been completely unsure on something #tough but good ask anon #my brain has melted. I spent days on this and I'm still not any clearer

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formula-nyoom · 17 days

Text

Stars Racing Past-2

Summary: After managing to escape the phantom on Tatooine, (Y/N), Seb, and Kimi head to Coruscant to meet with the Jedi Council to hopefully allow (Y/N) to become a Jedi and be assigned a teacher.

A/N: Thank you guys so much for the support on the first chapter. I'm really glad people liked it and I can't wait for you guys to read what I've got cooking. While I don't really like taglists, I will have one for this series. I think the max I can tag is 50(ish) people so I will have to cut it off at some point. Anyway, hope you enjoy!

Series Masterlist

~~~

The ship seemed to remain in one piece as it traveled through lightspeed. And with nothing indicating that the hyperdrive would fail, Kimi switched on the autopilot as he and Seb focused on the girl that was now with them. Now that things were calm, she seemed to be processing everything that just happened as her eyes stared at the light rapidly traveling past the ship

��“(Y/N)...” Seb gently said, drawing the girl’s attention to him. “Can you tell us what happened? Why was this person chasing you?”

“I don’t know. He had come into the store after closing…he…” The girl trailed off.

“Can you tell us exactly what happened?” Seb quietly asked. (Y/N) took a breath and nodded.

“I was working on repairing my speeder when I heard Mr (L/N) tell a customer to leave. He mentioned the two of you…I thought you guys had come back to get me or sent someone to come get me. But when I peered in… there was just something about this person that felt wrong.”

“What did you sense from this person?” Kimi asked.

“Sinister…and dark.” (Y/N) said. “He didn’t feel anything like when you guys had come in earlier.”

“You said that he killed them…did he kill Mr and Mrs (L/N)?” Seb asked. The girl nodded. Her eyes started to water as the scene of the phantom driving his red lighted blade through their chests replayed in her head.

“I ran as soon as he saw me. I jumped on my speeder and took off. I didn’t know where I was going at first, I just knew I had to get far away from this…this phantom.”

“Lucky you were able to find us then.” Kimi said.

“I don’t think it was luck.” Both Seb and (Y/N) said. Seb looked at the girl perplexed.

“What do you mean by that?” He asked

“I..I felt something. I don’t know how to really describe it, but I felt something guiding me in a certain direction. It led me to you guys.”

Seb smiled.

“I knew The Force would make our paths cross again.” He said. (Y/N) tried to mirror Seb’s sentiment, but her mind kept going back to the phantom.

“Who…who was that person that chased me. What did he want with me?” (Y/N) asked.

“He was a Sith.” Kimi said. Seb looked at him with concern.

“Are you sure? The Sith hadn’t been seen in ages.”

“Everything about him screamed Sith, from his lightsaber to the way he fought.” Kimi said. “I don’t think this was a random occurrence.”

“What do you mean?”

“On a previous mission, I was investigating rumors of potential dark side activity. I didn’t have enough evidence to warrant bringing this matter up to the council. But now I think we should.” Kimi said.

“What’s a Sith?”(Y/N) asked.

“Dark side Force users.” Kimi said. (Y/N) still looked confused. Seb kneeled down next to her to be eye level.

“There are two sides of the Force. There’s the light side that the Jedi use to try and bring peace, and there’s the dark side that the Sith use for conflict and nefarious purposes. Before the age of The High Republic, the Jedi and Sith would fight constantly before most of the Sith were wiped out and hadn’t been seen since.” Seb explained.

“But it seems like they may be trying to come back or rise to power.” Kimi said.

“What would the Sith want with me?” (Y/N) asked. “I’m…I’m just a slave.”

“You’re not a slave. You’re so much more than just a person.” Seb said, gently clasping the girl’s hands. “(Y/N)...I believe that you can become an exceptional Jedi. You seem to be well in tune with The Force. I saw you use it in the shop, and you were able to channel it to help you find us. You seem to have a much better grasp on it than any other untrained force sensitive person I’ve come across.”

The girl was silent for a couple moments.

“Are the stories true? That the Jedi fight for the good of others? Bring peace to the galaxy?” She asked.

“Yes. The Jedi stand to be guardians of peace and justice. We use the light side of the Force to help protect and fight for others who can’t. And you could be that kind of person…” Seb explained. “But I also don’t want to pressure you into coming with us back to the Jedi Temple.

“Considering the circumstances, you’re no longer a slave.” Kimi said.

“He’s right. You’re free now to do whatever you want, go wherever you want to go.” Seb said.

“But that Sith we encountered will still try to come after you.”

“Kimi’s unfortunately right about that too. Whatever the Sith may have wanted with you, it’s not good. You would be safer with us back at The Temple. But again, I leave the decision up to you.”

(Y/N) looked back towards the flying stars, taking in all that was said. Seb and Kimi were right, she was free. She could make her own choices now.

“I’ll come with you. I want to train to be a Jedi and fight for those that can’t.” (Y/N) said. Seb smiled.

“That’s wonderful to hear.” He said.

(Y/N) smiled. Seb looked like he believed in her. That’s the first time someone has looked at her that way.

“Don’t get too excited, Seb.” Kimi said. “We still have to meet with The Council about this matter. They may think she’s too old to start training as it goes against The Code.”

Seb didn’t seem deterred by Kimi’s words.

“I have faith that they’ll make the right decision. Besides, we'll have to inform the Council about our encounter with a Sith. I think once they hear about that, they’ll see how important the matter is.” Seb said.

The time traveling to Coruscant wasn’t long, but it took enough time for (Y/N) to doze off, the events of the past few hours finally catching up to her. When she woke, she was met with blue sky and the sight of city skylines.

“Have you ever been to a planet like Coruscant?” Seb asked when he noticed the girl was awake. (Y/N) shook her head.

“I’ve lived on Tatooine for most of my life.” She said.

(Y/N) tried to take in all the new sights as Kimi piloted the SF-16. She watched as other smaller ships flew past various buildings and apartments. There seemed to be so much hustle and bustle in Coruscant. A stark contrast to Tatoonie. Eventually the SF-16 flew towards a giant structure that seemed to stick out compared to everything else in the city. It had various towers while looking very square. (Y/N) could tell that this was The Jedi Temple that Seb and Kimi kept mentioning.

Kimi piloted the ship onto a landing pad and the three began to disembark.

The ship door opened and (Y/N) was hit with a blast of cool air and no humidity as she followed Seb and Kimi off the ship. Now seeing the Temple up close, it was way more imposing with an almost wing-like symbol displayed on banners that hang from the front.

A young man greeted the three of them as they made their way closer to the temple entrance. He wore the same clothes as Seb and Kimi, minus the robe, and had short blonde hair with one long braided strand.

“Master Vettel! You're back! How were the negotiations?” The man said.

“We had some complications. Could you alert the Council of our arrival. There are matters we need to discuss with them.” Seb said.

“Certainly.” The young man said. He turned around and started to hurry off.

(Y/N) followed Seb and Kimi past the entrance and into the temple proper. Various people greeted Seb and Kimi as they walked past while also giving curious glances towards (Y/N). (Y/N) tried to stick close to Seb, not wanting to draw any attention herself while also trying to take in all her surroundings. The temple was big and open with high arching ceilings and architecture (Y/N) had never seen before. Some of the adults that passed by were accompanied by kids (Y/N)’s age, having the same braid as the young man that greeted them at the entrance. And the atmosphere of everything, it felt the same to (Y/N) as when Seb and Kimi first walked into the repair shop but multiplied by 10.

It felt both safe and suffocating at the same time.

Soon the three of them made it to a set of tall double doors with the same intricate symbol as the ones on the banners. The young man that greeted them when they landed stood in front of the doors and smiled at Seb as they approached.

“They’re inside ready to meet you.” He said.

“Thank you Mick. Will you wait out here for me? I need to talk to you about some things regarding your training.” Seb told him. Mick nodded.

Standing in front of the big doors, (Y/N) suddenly felt very nervous. The idea of having to meet with people only referred to as “The Council” seemed very nerve wracking to the young girl. Seb seemed to notice this as he placed a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

“I just want to reassure you that there is nothing to worry about. The Council may seem intimidating to you at first, but they aren’t.” Seb said.

“I was intimidated by them when I first met them.” The young man, Mick, said. He gave (Y/N) a reassuring smile. (Y/N) tried to give one in return but she was pretty sure that nervousness still showed on her face.

“You can stand by Kimi while I talk with The Council. I don’t think I’ll have to do much convincing to have them allow you to become part of The Order, but they may ask you a couple questions.” He said. “Are you ready?”

(Y/N) took a deep breath to try and steal her nerves.

“Yes.” She said, Seb smiled and nodded his head before opening the door.

The circular room was much smaller than (Y/N) expected it to be.

Nine chairs were arranged in a circle that took up most of the room. All of the seats except for two had someone sitting in it: Men dressed in the same attire as Seb and Kimi.

Most of them greeted Seb with a smile but all of them seemed to look at (Y/N) once she stepped into the room. She moved closer to Kimi, almost trying to hide behind him.

“Master Vettel. It’s good to see both you and Master Räikkönen back in one piece. Master Alonso informed us that the negotiations with the Trade Federation didn’t seem to go well.” Master Webber, one of Seb’s fellow councilmen, spoke. Seb nodded his head.

“You are correct, Master Webber. The Trade Federation was not up for negotiations in the slightest. We tried to have an open discussion with them but after a couple minutes the Leader left the room and me and Kimi were soon swarmed by battle droids. We had to fight our way out of there and during our ship’s retreat, the hyperdrive ended up being damaged, causing us to crash land on Tatooine.” Seb explained.

“Seems you may have picked something up while on Tatooine.” Master Ricciardo said, glancing behind Seb at (Y/N). He wore a friendly smile, but (Y/N) couldn’t help but try to make herself seem smaller due to nerves.

“We encountered a member of the Sith while on Tatooine.” Kimi said. Some of the men looked at each other with either confusion or concern.

“The Sith haven't been seen in ages.” Master Bottas said.

“What was a potential Sith doing on Tatooine.” Master Rosberg asked.

“That was the other matter I wished to discuss with you. I had mentioned to Master Alonso earlier that me and Master Räikkönen believe that we have found The Chosen.” Seb said. He turned around and gestured to (Y/N) to come join him in the center of the room. (Y/N) quietly walked over and stood next to Seb. The tone in the room seemed to shift once (Y/N) stood before them, as if they could sense something she couldn’t. (Y/N) wished she could be as small as possible with all these sets of eyes on her.

“What’s your name, young one?” Master Webber asked the girl.

“(Y/N).” She quietly said.

“You’re from Tatoonie?” He asked. (Y/N) shook her head.

“No. I was sold on Tatooine. I don’t know what planet I'm originally from.”

“You were a slave?” A different man asked. He had darker skin and wore his hair in braids. The girl nodded.

“(Y/N) said that the trader who sold her only dealt with Force sensitive. That’s a matter I feel we should discuss as well but at a later time." Seb chimed in.

“How old are you?” Master Webber asked her.

“11.” That answer caused some of the men to whisper to each other. (Y/N) tried not to think about what Kimi had said earlier about her possibly being too old to join The Order.

“How old were you when you were sold?” The man with braids asked.( (Y/N) would learn later he’s addressed as Master Hamilton)

“Five.” She told him. Master Webber took in the girl’s appearance, how she stood and how her hands fidgeted with the hem of her shirt to try and ease her nerves. But (Y/N) felt that he was trying to sense something else.

“(Y/N), with all that's happened to you in the past hours, you don't seem to be upset about being away from what was your home planet.” He said. (Y/N)’s face seemed to harden at his observation.

“Tatoonie never felt like home. Neither did the people who owned me.” She said, her voice now at an even and clear volume.

“So you have no attachments to the life that you had on Tatooine?”

(Y/N) didn’t need to think hard about that question. The people she belonged to were dead. She never made any real friends on that planet and besides repairing old speeders, she felt there was nothing to call her back to Tatooine.

“No. There’s nothing left for me back on Tatooine.” She said firmly. Master Webber looked to Seb

“You think she should join the Order.” Master Webber. It didn’t sound like a question, more so like Master Webber already knew Seb’s intentions.

“She’s too old.”Master Rosberg said. “She hasn’t been taught the proper teachings like every youngling must learn.”

“I understand that but I’ve seen how she uses The Force and how she’s been able to channel it. I believe if given time, proper training, and a good teacher, she can become a great Jedi.” Seb explained. (Y/N) wanted to smile at Seb’s words, but as she took them in, she also remembered that Seb had referred to as “The Chosen" earlier. (Y/N) wanted to know what he meant by that. It sounded like something with high expectations.

The men broke out into whispers amongst each other as they debated on what decision to make. Seb looked down at (Y/N) and gave her a reassuring smile and her shoulder a gentle squeeze. It comforted her a bit.

“The Council has decided…” Master Webber spoke after a few more moments of hushed whispers. “...that despite her age and considering the circumstances, (Y/N) will be allowed to join The Order and train in the ways of The Jedi.”

Both (Y/N) and Seb seemed to let out a relieved breath.

“Master Räikkönen will be her teacher.” Master Webber said. Kimi cleared his throat, having stayed at the back of the room the whole time.

“With all due respect, the missions I go on are not fit for a padawan.” He said.

“I’d be happy to take her on as my padawan.” Seb said.

“You already have a padawan Master Vettel. You can not take on another one.” Master Button said.

“I believe that Mick is ready to take on the trials to become a Jedi Knight. I’ve trained him for many years and feel he is prepared to handle his own missions.” Seb said. A few of the Council men glanced at each other.

“The Council has seen Padawan Schumacher’s progress. While he has learned and grown over the years with his abilities regarding The Force since becoming your padawan, recent months have cast doubt on if he is ready to become a Knight. Unfortunately we will have to deny your request.” Master Webber said.

“Not to mention that there are more younger Jedi Knights who are ready to take on padawans. I understand that with you believing that this girl is the Chosen one, that she should have a more experienced teacher, but The Council have not yet seen anything from her that truly proves so. Therefore she will be treated like every new padawan that comes into the Jedi Order.” Master Alonso explained. Seb nodded his head.

“I understand.” He said, hiding his disappointment inside. “If that is the case…then I believe I may know of a suitable teacher for (Y/N).”

~~~

The sounds of lightsabers clashing echoed throughout the training room as Seb entered. Once the council meeting had ended, Seb had asked Mick to show (Y/N) to what would be her new living quarters while Seb headed to the training room to look for a certain Jedi Knight. One or two people training greeted Seb as he entered, but most were engrossed in the sparring match that was happening in the middle of the room.

Two young men were engaged in a fierce lightsaber duel. One had dark blonde hair and wielded a blue lightsaber with intensity. His opponent deflected the hits with his own two green lightsabers. They seemed evenly matched, each deflecting hits that came their way. One may suspect that the young man wielding two lightsabers would have the upper hand, but a subtle feint and quick force powered shove from the dark blonde sent the brown haired young man he was fighting down to the ground, dropping one of his sabers.

“I win this one Charles.” The dark blonde young man said as he held his lightsaber in front, almost as if stopping the brunette from getting up. But the two smiled at each other and the blonde lowered his lightsaber to offer Charles a hand up. Those around that watched the sparring match applauded the two of them. Seb included.

“Max!” Seb called out. The dark blonde turned and, after giving Charles a pat on the shoulder, walked over to the Jedi Master.

“Yes, Master Vettel?”

“I know we haven’t spoken about this matter in a while but I wanted to know if you still had your objections about taking on a padawan?”

“Like I’ve said before Master Vettel, I don’t think it would be fit for me to take on a padawan. I’m-”

“-not a good teacher. I know, you’ve said that multiple times. However, I’ve just met with the council regarding an important matter.” Seb said.

“The Council can’t assign me a padawan. I have to be the one to choose.” Max said.

“I know that, but we think you and her would be a good pairing. You know what it’s like to have high expectations placed upon you.” Seb said. Max gave him a confused look.

“What do you mean by that exactly?”

“Come with me. I think this matter should be discussed somewhere more private.”

(Y/N) should expect that everything on Coruscant was going to be better than what she had on Tatooine. Yet she was still surprised by the living quarters that Mick showed her. The room had a proper bed with a mattress (Y/N) felt she could sink right into, a window with a view looking out at the Coruscant skyline, and a closet filled with garb like the ones everyone in the temple was wearing. It was all so much more than (Y/N) ever had.

(Y/N) didn’t hesitate in changing from her old, Tatoonie clothing into a fresh set of tunic and pants, throwing her old pair into a trash can without hesitation. The clothes fit perfectly, like they were meant to. She caught a glimpse of herself in the window’s reflection. Her hair was still messy and there was still some dirt and sand left smudged on her face, but everything else she saw looked nice, looked new.

“This is different.” She thought to herself. “This place feels safe.”

She looked again at her new living quarters. (Y/N) assumed that she was supposed to wait for Seb or someone else to come get her. But after traveling with Seb and Kimi for the past couple hours and having to meet with The Council, (Y/N) finally had some time to herself. And even though (Y/N) could spend hours on end sitting by the window staring at the skyline, there was a whole Temple to explore. And that’s what she was going to do.

~~~

At the moment, (Y/N) had no idea where in the temple she was. Honestly she should have expected this, being in a big and elaborate building she’s never been in before. (Y/N) had managed to find the temple’s library, mess hall, and the same entrance she had entered in with Seb and Kimi. But in trying to find her way back to her living quarters, (Y/N) seemed to have gotten a bit turned around.

‘Maybe if I double back and try and retrace my steps-’

(Y/N)’s thought process was interrupted as she accidentally bumped into the back of someone.

“Oh, sorry about that.” (Y/N) apologized as the person turned around. It was a boy about her age, with brunette hair and brown eyes. He wasn’t alone, as a blonde boy with blues stood behind. Both of them had the same singular braid in their hair that Mick had.

“No worries.” The brunette boy said. His voice had the same accent as Master Webber. He looked at (Y/N) with curiosity. “Are you new? I’ve never seen you around The Temple before.” The brunette boy said.

“Oh, yea I’m new...just arrived today.” (Y/N) told him. The boy smiled.

“I’m Oscar. This is Logan.” The brunette boy held out one of his hands for (Y/N) to shake. (Y/N) shook it and held out her hand for the blonde boy to shake. He hesitated before shaking her hand with one of his gloved ones.

“It’s nice to meet you Oscar, Logan. I’m (Y/N)”. She said, “I was trying to explore around but ended up getting a bit lost.”

“It is a bit hard to find your way around this place when you first get here.” Logan said.

“Well me and Logan were gonna head to the training ground. Maybe we could show you parts of the temple on the way there, if you want to join us.” Oscar said.

“Sure. That would be great!” (Y/N) said.

Following the two boys, Oscar and Logan showed (Y/N) parts of the temple she had missed, like some of the teaching rooms and outdoor atrium. Just as she was about to follow Oscar and Logan into the training room, someone called her name.

“(Y/N)!” It was Seb, who walked over with someone in tow. (Y/N) waved goodbye to Oscar and Logan before walking over to meet Seb.

“I was wondering where you may have wandered off to.” Seb said. “I have someone I want you to meet.”

The girl standing before Max wasn’t what he expected. Master Vettel had told him how he thought Max would be the perfect fit to train someone who was expected to become a great Jedi, that there was some prophecy involved with the person he was supposed to train.

“Max, this is (Y/N), she just arrived today. (Y/N), this is Jedi Knight Max Verstappen.” Seb said, introducing the two. The girl, (Y/N) as Seb introduced her, had started fidgeting with one of her sleeves as soon as she walked over. But she seemed to steel herself and held out a hand for Max to shake. It had smudges of dirt and a bit of dried oil left on it.

“It’s nice to meet you.” She said. Max shook his hand.

As soon as their fingers touched, Max felt The Force wrap around him, as if it was trying to tell him something. He tried to steel himself, and hone in on the feeling. And he found that it was coming from the girl in front of him. Did the girl feel it too? Max couldn’t tell as she pulled her hand away. He did the same.

“I was just discussing with Max on how I think he would be a good teacher for you and that you would make a good padawan for him to train.” Seb said to (Y/N). “However the decision does come down to Max, so I thought it would be best for you two to at least meet before any decisions are made.”

Max didn’t think he was the type of person that would be a good teacher, that he wasn’t fit to train a padawan. He’s admitted multiple times that he’d rather spend his time training and going on missions where he could use his lightsaber a plenty than be in the temple teaching a youngling the ways of The Force.

But there’s something about the girl in front of him. Not only with The Force but with just everything about her. Max looked at (Y/N) and saw his younger self staring back.

“Now Max, you don’t need to make a decision now, but I advise that you and (Y/N) try to get to know each other before-”

“I'll do it.” Max said, interrupting Seb. Seb looked at Max with surprise.

“Really? “That’s wonderful to hear!” Seb said, now smiling. “Well my previous suggestion still stands that the two of you should get to know each other before you guys start training. I'll leave you to it.”

Seb gave (Y/N) a reassuring pat on her shoulder and a nod to Max before walking away, leaving the pair alone. The two stared at each other.

“So I assume I address you as Master Verstappen?” (Y/N) asked. Max grimaced.

“Don't call me that. Max is fine.” He said. (Y/N) could now pick up that Max spoke with an accent, one she had never heard before. “Have you eaten at all since you’ve got here?”

(Y/N) shook her head, now realizing how long it had been since she had last eaten.

“Well I can show you the dining hall and we can talk, “get to know each other” as Master Vettel said. Is that ok?”

“Yea, sure. I’m starving.”

Through the windows of the dining hall, (Y/N) could see the sun slowly setting on the Coruscant skyline. After putting various food on her tray, (Y/N) followed Max as he led her to a more secluded part of the dining hall.

As she followed though, (Y/N) couldn’t help but notice the various stares or hushed whispers from people as they passed.

��“Is that Verstappen…with a youngling?”

“Verstappen said he would never take on a padawan.”

“Do you think The Council forced him to take on one?”

Max took a seat at one of the tables tucked into the corner. (Y/N) sat across from him and looked down at her food.

“Master Vettel told me you lived on Tatooine. I’ve never been to that planet. What’s it like there?” Max asked. While Max was trying to skirt around the unfortunate circumstance the girl was in before she was found by Sebastian and Kimi, Max still wanted to try and get to know the girl. So he thought asking about the planet where (Y/N) grew up would be a safe question to ask.

“Hot. Sandy. Hot and Sandy is the only way to really describe it.” (Y/N) said with a neutral face as she poked at the food in front of her.

“What was your favorite thing to do there?” Max asked. (Y/N) took a bite of her food and smiled a bit.

“Trying to repair an old speeder that someone left behind.” (Y/N) said. “A bunch of races are held almost every month on Tatooine. I was hoping to get it fixed and enter some of the races. Win enough money to get me off the planet.”

“I prefer racing ships over speeders. A lot more action and opportunity.” Max said. (Y/N) looked at him curiously.

“Is that what I’ll be able to do at some point? Pilot a ship and race it past the stars?” (Y/N) asked. Piloting was something (Y/N) always wanted to learn. Properly. She learned bits and pieces from the pilots that would come into the shop for parts or repairs, but (Y/N) always wanted to learn how to fly a ship. Probably to better her chances of getting off Tattoonie. But (Y/N) no longer had to worry about that.

“Maybe. What I’m supposed to do is teach you how to harness The Force.” Max said. “But you are my padawan, so I can teach you things The Council may not want you to learn when you’re just starting out.” Max said, giving the girl a slight mischievous grin. (Y/N) couldn’t help but smile back.

After the two had finished eating, Max walked (Y/N) back to her living quarters. Whispers and stares seemed to follow them as they walked and (Y/N) tried to brush it off.

“We’ll start your training tomorrow morning.” Max said as they stopped at the door to (Y/N)’s living quarters. “I know it may feel strange sleeping in an unfamiliar place but try to get some proper sleep. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Ok. Goodnight.” (Y/N) watched Max walk away. As he passed by a group of younglings with braids in their hairs, they looked at Max with awestruck faces. But he didn’t pay them any attention. (Y/N) remembered what she felt when she and Max first shook hands. Something seemed to pull her towards Max, The Force trying to tell her that something about him was important. She couldn’t help but wonder…who exactly did Seb assign as her teacher?

TAGLIST: @fangirl-dot-com @chasing-liberosis @miarabanana @vicurious28 @mayo-0-o

#f1 x reader #formula 1 x reader #f1 x y/n #max verstappen x reader #sebastian vettel x reader #formula 1 star wars au #stars racing past

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axailslink · 1 year

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Hi, can I please request a shuri fic, smut please, where the reader and shuri been in a committed relationship for a long time and have a very active sex life but reader recently had surgery fibroids removed and she’s recovered but has been super conscious of her new scar from her surgery on her lower abdomen, so she avoids being naked around shuri and refuse to be intimate. Shuri finally caught on to what’s going and shows reader she loves her body and her new permanent scar.

Our Scars

Shuri Udaku x poc FEM reader

Warning: I guess you could say smut but it ain't nothing but Shuri eating the reader out however the words I use are the warning I use words such as pussy and cunt there is also some spitting of the reader's juices into her mouth... If this ain't for you scroll homie. Vulgar choice of words and orgasm denial but overall this is a comfort fic.

Summary: Your new scar did more than hurt you it made you aware of every insecurity you had so you did everything in your power to avoid seeing it Shuri, of course, notices this and puts a quick stop to it.

A/n: once again I don't write smut (I've typed that on my request guidelines) unless it's of my own accord I don't believe that I can live up to what you want but I mean since you asked nicely, of course, I will try.

The first week after you healed

Shuri kisses down the middle of your chest raising your legs up as she reaches your lower tummy but you stop her pulling her up to you and placing a kiss on her lips she smiles and kisses you back before traveling back down but you stop her again this time sitting up. "Baby, you okay?" She sits up to look at you in the eye "yeah I'm just not really feeling this whole..." You cover yourself with the cover and she nods "that's fine let's watch a movie" She sits back against the headboard as she pulls you to her but you shake your head "no I think I'm going to go shower" you break from her grip and walk to the bathroom Shuri scrunches her face up in confusion and disgust at your current attitude.

The second week

Shuri sits up in bed and looks at you as you're pulling on a sweater over your tiny tank she blinks "it's 80 degrees outside are you going to actually wear a sweater?" You shrug as you walk away from the mirror and over to her Shuri grabs you by your waist and presses a soft kiss against the bit of your revealed tummy below the sweater causing you to push her away.

The third week

Shuri walks to the bathroom and gently rattles the doors "baby why are we locking doors? You okay?" You open the door with a towel wrapped around you tightly she raises a brow "baby you've been acting weird what's wrong? Don't ignore me..." You walk past her and sit on the bed as you oil your body down "nothing" Shuri sucks her teeth and nods "Y/n I can tell when something is wrong with you and you're choosing to lie to me as if I can't see it."

Shuri looks at the towel and the way it's tight against your skin "you need to loosen this towel it's gone cut your ci-" she gently loosens it but you grab her hands keeping a tight grip on the towel it finally hits her in this moment what's bothering you and has been for the past three weeks. "Y/n you do know that scar doesn't change a thing about you right?" she loosens your hands and lets the towel pool around your waist revealing your naked body can only look away shake your head her words mean nothing at this moment. The scar changed everything at least in your eyes it did when it wasn't healed it was easy to tell yourself that it would go away and that it didn't mean anything but now that it's healed it's a part of you forever you can't get rid of it...you feel Shuri's cold hands cupping your face turning your attention towards her "do you think my scars make me look bad?" you look at the scars on her arms and shake your head "of course not" she nods "that's exactly what I think about yours uthando (love.) Scars are not signs of ugliness or weakness they never have been our scars show how strong, fine, and confident we are. There are tribes here where we live who permanently scar themselves on purpose to show strength baby this little scar-" Shuri points to the scar on your lower tummy "-it shows me nothing but amandla (strength) and if I have to kiss it every time you undress to remind you I will."

Shuri ducks down and kisses the scar as she gently spreads your legs "I love this scar okay? We love this scar" "we love this scar?" she nods as she kisses your inner thigh "The more you say it the more you'll believe it" Shuri gently pushes you back on the bed hiking your legs up "I can't hear you love" Shuri pulls you to her by your legs gently "I love this s- babe this is childish as f-" Shuri's thumb gently rubs up and down your slit causing you to close your eyes and let out quickened gasps. "It's not childish if it has to do with your love for yourself yitsho (say it)" Shuri leans down and you feel her breath fan against your pussy. She moves both of her hands to your thighs now keeping them still as she gently sucks on your clit first teasing it with her tongue but she's not satisfied by the moans she's still not hearing what she wants to hear. Shuri slaps your thigh so hard it's sure to bruise but it does its job and catches your attention forcing you to whimper out a reply. "I'm not going to say that it's childish" Shuri is quick to respond "ufuna ndiyeke?" (you want me to stop?) Shuri gets up and shrugs "then you can finish yourself off" you look at her shock written all over your face. "you're really going to deny me an orgasm?" She nods "yes."

One thing about Shuri that will never change is that her word is true and she takes it very seriously if she were to stop now she would no longer engage in anything sexual with you...well she wouldn't let you climax in any of those activities. She's done this on multiple occasions but not tonight you're just not in the mood to play her little orgasm denial game.

"I love my scar" Shuri smiles at your words and picks you up "there we go come on say it again mean it this time" you speak up louder this time "I love my scars." Shuri sits on the bed "it makes me happy to hear that but now that I've heard that I want to hear something else..." you look her up and down a smile it's quick to find its way to your face "and what do you want to hear?" she smiles as she sits back "your moans as you sit on your throne ikumkani wam (my queen)" she smiles as you slowly climb your way up to her face hands settled on the headboard Shuri of course notices you about to hesitate but doesn't give you that chance she's quick as she lets her arms wrap around your thighs and keep you in place "where are you going?" Shuri forces you to lower yourself on her face "suffocate me I'll be fine you know CPR I taught you" well...she does have her priorities set.

Knowing that Shuri isn't worried about breathing you don't care either as you slowly start to grind against her tongue you let yourself close your eyes and focus on chasing your own orgasm. Shuri sucks on your clit causing your legs to buckle for a moment but she holds you up as she continues sucking and flicking on it. Eventually, you become too sensitive to move on your own your legs are shaking but Shuri doesn't waver in fact she smiles against your wet cunt enjoying the way you taste and how your body reacts when you're close to your climax. Your moans and shaking legs are her motivation. Your legs start to close on Shuri and she lets them as you finally reach your climax you ride it out as Shuri laps at your folds drinking you all in but she doesn't swallow she pulls you down to her face and presses a firm kiss to your lips one that you immediately open up to. She lets the taste of her spit and your cum make the kiss sloppy, wet and nasty when you pull away she's smiling "say it one more time" you're so out of it you have no idea what she's talking about at the moment "the scar..." She reminds you and you laugh and shake your head "I love my scars." Shuri gently rubs the scar but her eyes never leave yours as she smiles "good because I love them too."

you want to stay serious but her face is all wet and it's hilarious to you, you wipe her face with the palm of your hand and smile "you got a little something... Everywhere." She nods "then help me get it off," her sly smirk tells you that once she's clean it's her turn.

A/n: Once again I do not write smut but for you baby, I tried. yall need to stop asking me to do this shit yall know I don't know how to do this so don't judge me now.

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itjazzbicch · 1 year

Text

Let Me Love You

Pairing: Manjiro Sano (Bonten Mikey) x Fem Reader

(Every time I see Bonten Mikey, I'm just like damn this man needs some love lol so here we are! Hope you all enjoy!)

Warnings: MANGA SPOILERS! If you haven't read the manga and don't want spoilers, heres your warning now!

Smut! (18+ Only!)(Mentions of alcohol, unprotected sex, gets a little rough, creampie)

Summary: Following her skills in life much like the rest of her friends, the reader who loves music, becomes a professional singer and artist, not having much time to come home, but when she does come home, preparing for Pah's wedding the following day, she has an unexpected guest...

Word Count: 2.1k

Life never goes as expected and knowing that I made the best out of it! I decided to follow my heart, do what I was good at, and ended up becoming an international singer and artist!

Never in a million years did I expect my life to turn out so good like this, although, traveling all around the world made it difficult to stay close to my best friends, I always stayed in touch, gave them tickets to shows when I could, and always made sure to see everyone when I was home.

I also had to make some things work, clearing out a week of my schedule to come home for Pah's wedding and stay for a bit, I needed the break. It was a great feeling being in my hometown, in the home where my heart was.

There was no escaping a little work, sitting at the computer in my office, sending out emails, and organizing things with the help of my assistant. I felt a bit guilty because this was supposed to be a break for him too, but everything was put to the side whenever he brought me water like I asked, sitting it down next to my mouse on the desk, nervous as he said:

"Also, Ms. Y/N, uh- there's someone at the door? He said that he was an old friend?"

Must've been one of the guys, thinking so, I took a quick sip, rushing, "Bring him in for me, would you?"

"Of course," He was so kind and obedient, heading out to grab my guest while I hurried to finish my last email, freezing in my seat when I heard, "Here he is. I'll be on my way now, so you can have time to yourself."

I was so shocked that I was shaking. It had been twelve years since I'd seen him with my own two eyes.

Mikey.

Draken and Mitsuya had mentioned to me before that he was still participating in gang-related activities, which wasn't a surprise. I didn't know extensive details of what Mikey had been up to and part of me didn't want to know.

"T-Thank you, dear. Get home safe," I swallowed down as my assistant left, standing up slowly, whispering while connecting gazes with him, "M-Mikey?"

"Long time no see, Y/N," It looked like Mikey surely needed a good night's sleep, but he put on the tiniest smile for me.

I thought I was seeing a ghost. Mikey and I were inseparable once upon a time, some could agree that I was closer to him than Draken used to be. Emotions from so long ago started rising, taking slow steps, needing to know that this was all real, hugging him and tightly.

No one has seen Mikey at all these past twelve years, and he came to see me? Why me? I had a lot of questions, but at the same time, I felt so relieved, hopeful that maybe this was the beginning of him coming back home and staying home. Letting things be like how they used to be.

The entire old gang was still together, he was the only missing piece.

It wasn't very much, but he did hug me back, patting my back softly, eyes glistening at me when I picked up my head, eyes full of tears:

"I'm sorry that I'm crying, I just-; I can't believe this!"

Those tears were happy ones mostly, beginning to smile at his little smirk:

"I know it's been a long time, and this was so sudden, but I wanted to see you."

"It's fine!" I assured, cleaning myself up, getting the door, and leading him out to the room where I entertained guests, guiding him to a chair, then to the bar, "You want a drink? I have just about anything you can think of."

"I'm sure you know what I like," He murmured while sitting back, eyes exploring his surroundings, "Nice house you have."

"Why thank you," I was getting myself some wine, a glass of authentic whiskey that I got from Europe on the rocks for him, "Music has brought me a long way."

"I've seen," In the corner of my eye, I could see him smiling at me. Mikey was the one person who could do the tiniest thing and I'd get flustered by it, even after twelve years that hasn't changed.

Distracting myself, I started singing to myself softly, finishing up the drinks and putting things away, and before I could turn back to him, I felt his arms wrapping around my waist, keeping me in a light embrace, whispering in my ear:

"I haven't heard your voice in person for so long. It's just as beautiful as I remember."

"It makes me happy that you think so," I smiled nervously, cheeks filling with heat, but paying close attention when he went on:

"I had been wondering about your songs lately, how many love songs you've made. Do you have some special in your life?"

I had no clue why he asked or how to answer because I didn't, thinking off the top of my head, "No, uh-, people are just suckers for love songs, you know? And a lot of my fanbase is young girls so-"

"Your nervous laughs and stuttering make me think otherwise," Mikey knew when I was lying, if I wasn't already horrible at it, he just knew, "But one particular song, I remember one of your lines, where you said they'll never know how good it feels to have your affection, never get to experience your love."

Despite all this time apart, he still paid attention to what I was doing, my music, and could still read me like a book, laying his head on my shoulder, mentioning:

"You haven't changed a bit, Y/N."

"It's not too late to get to know, Mikey," I whispered ghostly, holding his arms tight, feeling how he squeezed me tighter too, trying to get over all the emotions that were holding me back, letting Mikey know that he was the one who I wrote all my songs about, "It sure as hell looks like you need it too."

"Look at me," Guiding me around to face him, I was just trying to read him, remembering how he was holding me, then the darkness in his eyes.

All of that showed me exactly why he was here and now, I was more relieved that he was here. Before he could say more, I moved a strand of hair away from his face, holding his cheek:

"It's never too late and you're right, those songs are about someone special. It's you and I'm not afraid anymore to tell you that I love you. Despite everything, I love you, Mikey."

How the look in his eyes changed, you'd think no one had ever told them that they loved him before. He kept his composure, but I could see it in his eyes, then this snap.

I see that his speed never changed, reeling me in so quickly, his lips smacked into mine, so hungry and in need. It almost felt like he needed to be saved, just needed to know that someone loved him, and I was more than willing to be that person.

Kissing back and glancing for just a moment, his liveliness was coming back which made me smile against his lips, whispering:

"You don't have any other plans tonight, do you?"

"No," He huffed out quickly, hands latched to me, and with that green light, I sped up and there was no slowing down.

Not letting my lips leave for more than a second down the hall to my room. He had already shown me with his ways that he had experience, but this was different. Sitting him on my bed before straddling him, laying him back while kissing his neck, and letting his hand wander across my skin as clothes began to disappear.

It had been a long twelve years, filled with worrying about him so much, missing him horribly. I knew that he was no angel, but just him showing up, let alone this? My Mikey was still in there. Just buried deep and I was going to dig him out.

Both of us in just our skin, the hand he had on my hip began to push a little, ready to have me be the one on my back, earning a curious glare when I took his wrist, pinning him softly.

There was a slight tear in my eye staring down at him, but a soft smile on my face, positioning myself and kissing with a whisper:

"Just let me love you, Mikey."

Small gasps were against our lips while I sat on his cock, slow and steady till I had every inch, hands sliding from his wrists to his chest and pressing down, beginning to roll my hips, his hands finding my hips again, digging into its meaty side, hearing under his breath:

"You're so soft, warm-"

"And you feel amazing, Mikey," I moaned down into his ear, head resting on his shoulder, the desire for pleasure growing even stronger, making my hips rock quicker instinctively.

His silence made me wonder briefly, till I noticed how his legs shift, picking up his hips, thrusts matching my speed for a moment before going faster, how the tip of his cock was smacking my sweet spot, making my walls clench tighter, my moans louder, body beginning to squirm and nails sinking into his shoulders.

I saw the little smile on his face, when I picked my head up, flipping some hair away from my face because of the small sweats on my forehead, gasping for air, "M-Mikey-"

"Let me feel it," Holding the back of my head, forehead to forehead, his thrusts started coming even quicker, "Cum for me. I don't care if you make a mess."

"I'm right there, Mikey!" The second my walls pulsated; he kissed me with an animalistic side that I'd never really seen, even with all my moans and whines, kept going and dragging out the extreme high.

It was too good, making us both want more, so gone and lost in another world that I lost track of time. Just looking out the window at times, it was easy to tell that it was dead in the night.

I never knew I had this much in me, but knew I was reaching my limit.

Mikey had us on our sides, kept in a tight hug with one of my legs trapped in it, giving him the room, he needed to drill away inside of me. My head kept falling back with breathless moans, I was sure that I was barely breathing, a swirl in my head, the pleasure had turned me into a cock-drunk mess.

"Think you can give it to me just one last time?" I heard Mikey, but couldn't respond, having to hold my head up to ensure I was paying attention, "Come on love."

"I can," I breathed out hollowly, nearly crying at the tensity in my body from head to toe, squeezing his cock so hard that it ached some, begging him, "Make me cum, Mikey!"

I thought his grip was strong before till he showed me a whole new level, in a grip so tight that my whole body felt as if it had its own heartbeat, all the air I tried taking in stuck in my chest, able to hear the gush and slick against his cock, his voice nearly echoing to me:

"F-Fuck, Y/N. S-So damn tight. It's so good."

His hold on me loosened up and relaxing my leg on the side of his hip, nearly limp against his body, but still feeling everything, how his thrusts began to slow, hugging him and whispering with my head against his neck:

"C-Cum in me. I want to know how good it feels."

"Tell me then," He whispered back, pinning his hips against mine, moaning against the skin of his neck, feeling even hotter than I already did when his seed flooded my walls, so warm and deep, gasping but letting him know:

"It's the best feeling I've ever felt, Mikey."

"The best, hm?" He hummed, fixing my head so we could look into each other's eyes.

The longer I looked, even with tired eyes, I could tell something was different than when he first came, and that change was for the better. All I could do was smile, getting a real one in return, something I feared that I'd never see again.

I never felt so happy, knowing he wasn't leaving by how he laid back, keeping me to his chest and helping me with the blanket. All those hours together surely wore me out, yawning from the exhaustion, cooing before drifting off:

"The best feeling ever."

#tokyo revengers fic #tokyo revengers imagine #tokyo revengers x reader #tokyo revengers smut #tokyo rev fic #tokyo rev imagine #tokyo rev smut #tokyo rev x reader #manjiro sano #manjiro sano x reader #manjiro sano x y/n #manjiro sano imagine #manjiro sano fic #manjiro sano smut #manjiro sano oneshot #tokyo rev oneshot #read and enjoy #Tokyo Revengers

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alcinas-big-ass-simp · 1 year

Text

~ Donna Beneviento with a haunted doll Reader ~

Note: back to being crackhead dhhdhdhh— I have the weirdest ideas in the world but I just thought How would Donna react and be around a haunted doll reader?

• She found you in the least expected place that someone would expect to find a (haunted) doll, in the damn waterfall—

• Donna was going out today to sit near the waterfall near her house since she finally convinced herself to at least go outside for a little bit but that was until she saw you! Your lifeless battered and cracked porcelain doll body floating in the waterfall, shit! it scared the living daylights out of her when she first saw you like that

• But then she quickly composed herself and walked over to you, she didn't mind if she got herself a little wet to get you! She just found it weird that someone would leave a perfect doll out in the middle of the woods and especially in a waterfall! She just had to get you out of there and bring you back to her home

• Once she brought you back to her house, she began fixing your little cracks, polishing up your porcelain skin and getting new clothes for you that match your aesthetic in her opinion! She had a lot of fun fixing you up! After she was done with your upgrades she set you down on one of her chairs to go get something she forgot in the basement when she was fixing you up

• tho in those couple of minutes that she was gone you woke up! The last thing you remember was your friend owner threw you into a river when they had enough of you. You were confused and scared, You have no idea where you even are and when you looked around the place from where you were sitting, you don't remember this place at all! This is a whole new area,,, Did someone find you?. You decided to stand up in your seat to see more of the area around you!

• But before you can think more on the subject, Donna walked in and screamed bloody murder that had Angie come running in with a knife looking for danger— but when Angie saw what Donna screamed at, she looked confused as fuck— She didn't understand why Donna was screaming at a doll?? She has dolls all over the place????

• But before Angie could say anything to Donna, Donna interrupted her, “Huh?... Are you alive or?..—” Donna said in a shaky voice trying to figure out if she really gone insane for a second, “aH— i- well— I'm something that you would call a ‘haunted’ doll I guess?.” You tried to explain to her without her freaking out but to your surprise she didn't freak out!

• Donna looked more interested than anything else! Fascinated by the concept of something ‘haunted’ so her and Angie sat with you for a couple of hours asking questions about you and your past, it was quite nice to talk to someone that wasn't mean or scared of you- it was refreshing in your opinion

• After you guys talked for a couple of hours, she decided to let you stay here with her! Believe it or not she grew quite emotionally attached to you when she was fixing you up so you being ‘haunted’ was just a bonus for her! It would be nice to have some more company!

• Since now that you live with her, she includes you in a lot of her daily activities! Like gardening, tea parties with the other dolls, fixing dolls, making dolls, cuddling and going to meetings with her!

• Especially meetings, she just can't leave you at home! She gets so worried about you that she can't even function properly at the meeting, she's so scared that you might fall and crack yourself or someone breaks in and steals you! Every possibility that can run through her head, will run through her head

• So she has to bring you to every meeting and no one really questions it because it's Donna- like come on- The antisocial quiet Lord that already has a creepy ass doll on her lap has another one on her lap too, ain't no one going to question that cuz it is not worth the time fr

• But you're basically attached to her hip now since she carries you around like Angie but even more- Both of her arms will be full holding you and Angie, She's so so attached to the both of you! She loves you guys so so much—

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Hope you guys liked this cuz I couldn't stop myself from making this lol but i maybe do more of this in the future!

~ Masterlist ~

~ Request Guidelines ~

#donna beneviento x reader #donna beneviento x y/n #donna beneviento #lady donna beneviento #resident evil 8 #resident evil #angie beneviento

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slightlysadfilter · 5 months

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So Saltburn: a story of obsession and control

Warning: spoilers ahead

You bet I'm gonna dissect this mfing movie. It left me scarred at 3 am on a workday so here I am, giving my own personal interpretation. Enjoy!

So as I've anticipated, I think the entirety of the movie is a battle between obsession and control. Specifically, Oliver's need to control everything and anyone, and his very clear obsession with Felix. But how does it unfold? And are the two conciliatory, or is Oliver a walking oxymoron? Why does he fuck a grave? We'll get to that.

Part I: Obsession.

We know nothing of Oliver's past. We come to know, very shockingly, that he has a peaceful-looking family, in an alright neighbourhood. The only hint we might've been given about his past behaviour is how his mother immediately tries to soothe the situation when he refuses lunch and wants to leave. But still, too little, so for the purpose of this dissection, Oliver starts with Oxford.

I believe that, at the beginning of the movie, Oliver is more inclined towards obsession. He picks his god (Felix) and yearns to please him. Still, we also notice his need to control very early (actually we do at the end, but yk, early). The control aspect is apparent in his manipulations, this new reality he carefully crafts, but all of it is to appeal to Felix. "He's a scholarship guy who buys clothes from Oxfam", he clearly doesn't want to be that. He doesn't want to be part of the equation-spurting loner group, to be a kid from a boringly simple family and a modest, row-house neighbourhood.

He needs to appeal to Felix, so he takes control of everything. Here, obsession and control go hand in hand. The only reason Oliver is doing what he's doing, is to feel seen by his god. To seat at the "olympus" table with all the trendy, rich kids and their godly-like aura. He threads slowly at first: he knows he can't become them, so he plays the poor-guy part. Crappy family, no money, but still so, so generous and ready to listen. His god is surely pleased; not only that, Felix feels protective of him. He's gained a spot in paradise, albeit due to someone else. Then he makes a mistake, he gets too comfortable and lets too much of his desire of perfection slip. Felix gets annoyed and he's kicked out of heaven. Therefore, more manipulation, more offerings: oh no my dad is dead. Please Felix notice me again, make my tragic story part of your entertainment, let me in again to delight you further.

And so he does.

Part II: Control.

It is a gradual event, control eclipsing Oliver's obsession. For a while, the two co-exist almost equally.

It is very subtle at first. He appears shy, but he's not: I reckon runny eggs don't really make him sick. But he gets to order someone around and he surely takes the chance. For the first time, the reality he's crafted doesn't only need to appease a "superior being" but also, himself.

Then, we have Venetia. It's the first time we clearly see what a little of control does to him, his first true sliding through the cracks of Saltburn like termites. Control is a high for Oliver, fusing with arousal. He likes telling her what to do, to share his excitement and make her do his bidding with it. And still, he is entertaining someone: he's the guy who doesn't cower around period blood and actually plays with it. He's stepped up, but he's still surrounded by higher beings.

Of course, we can also see how obsession remains in how he, uhm, slurps some delicious bathwater and also readily denies having anything to do with Venetia. Felix is still his god after all, and the fake reality exists to appease him. Not Venetia. She gets thrown to the side.

Then, Farleigh, who is actively trying to sabotage him. He wants him gone, he looks down on him, he likes to remind Oliver just how ephemeral he is at Saltburn. They already had moments of tension at Oxford, but now it's pathological: Farleigh is a risk of getting kicked out again. And so again, Oliver deals with it through arousal. Being able to bend him to his will is exciting, control is exciting. He's getting a better taste.

Then, the tragedy. Felix finds out about all the lies. Oliver's god is enraged, outraged. He's still in paradise, but on borrowed time and clearly unwanted. But the worst of it all: Oliver's object of obsession can never, ever accept his offerings again. His entertainment. Though he tries to salvage it, it's gone, the sparkle; and he's been getting skilled at control. So the night of the party, last night in heaven, he kills his god. If he can't please him, he'll conquer him. If he can't obsess over him, he'll take his place. (the symbolism is also very strong in this one!!! Felix having wings, and Oliver antlers to represent horns, or perhaps just earthly beings.)

So why does he fuck a grave? Quite simply, in my humble opinion, he's weeping the death of his god and getting aroused by his conquest at the same time. That's what I mean when I say he's a paradoxical character, and the conflicting nature of him is more prominent in this scene than in any other.

Now that Felix is gone, the road is easy. He's taken one of the highest spots and he wants more. Farleigh? Gone. Venetia? Disposed of. The plan halts upon the father's ultimatum (who, though apparently soft, is still head of this paradise) but when he dies, it is back in motion. The mother is too trusting, too desperate for a friendly face. Oliver is now the one with power over her, it's so easy to kick her out. Her slow assassination is partially merciful, partially ecstatic for Oliver, once again. But he's won, he has complete control (and so, he thankfully doesn't fuck her comatose body.)

His crafted reality is now real. He does not only belong to paradise, he runs it. He has become the god he's killed, and his last funky dance shows how control has definitely taken over obsession. No need for that, he sits at the top.

#saltburn #jacob elordi #barry keoghan

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cityoftheangelllls · 3 months

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I dunno, guys, I think I may need to take a break from the Internet, for a number of reasons. I'm very burnt out at the moment from my job, which I don't enjoy as much as I used to and which I may end up quitting, as well as the production of Cats I'm currently involved in (in a LEAD ROLE!) that is almost over but has still taken up a lot of my time.

Also, I've had a bad habit of doomscrolling and giving myself secondhand trauma from reading and seeing so many horrible stories of abuse, trauma, crime, etc. on the Internet for a few years ago now, but right now it's reached a high. I don't know why my anxiety tends to make me run towards things that cause me further distress than avoid them, but it just does. I can't explain it. And no matter where I go, I seem to run into these kinds of stories. Whether it's a Youtube comment where a user shares a story of the horrible traumas they've experienced in the past or present or the reason why they want to die, or another headline about the terrors happening in Palestine or Ukraine. It doesn't help that I have an unnaturally high amount of empathy and a tendency to imagine myself vividly in these people's shoes. Oh, and I believe that a user on here I came across who expressed intentions of suicide and who I tried to help, is dead now. She hasn't posted or responded to my messages in over two months.

I don't know what made me this way. It could be my mom's obsession with true crime stories and the ID channel, or the fact that I've inevitably run into those kinds of accounts here and elsewhere. Either way, it frightens me and makes me wish more than ever that I could erase certain memories with no problem and continue on with the life that has, so far, been pretty kind to me.

Until I can get myself together and stop getting myself overly upset about how horribly cruel human beings can be to one another in so many ways, I may have to step back from the Internet and social media, except maybe to share artwork. I recognize that my mental health is starting to go down a slippery slope at this moment, and I recognize how important it is to take care of it and do what's best for me. And I hope you all realize that I want YOU to do what's best for you, too, as long as it doesn't hurt you. Caring for others is important, but so is caring for yourself.

This all being said, I'm going to a little less active on here for just a little while. I'm sorry for being so open all of a sudden, but I hope you understand.

#semi vent #random thoughts from angie

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arthropod-concoctions · 10 months

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(AO3 - prev)

Jimmy wasn't in Tumble Town. Instead of the mesa he'd claimed to build his empire in, Jimmy found himself in a snowy field surrounded by gargantuan walls made of blackstone. Had someone pranked him by terraforming his surroundings while he'd been in the game? Probably not; there wasn't enough time for that. He'd been inside the game for five weeks, so that was... about fifteen hours for outsiders. Not nearly enough time to gather enough blackstone to do all this.

I still can't believe I died so early again. To an enderman of all things! Jimmy thought to himself. Well, no point lingering on that now; he'd apologize to Tango the next time they played. Right now he wanted to get out of these walls and see something familiar.

He flew to the top of one of the walls to look around, but he only saw forests, no familiar scenery. He shuffled across the wall to see more-- shuffled, because whoever had dropped him into this snowfield had also put a thick, cumbersome coat on him. It got in the way of his movements and made it very hot, so he began to take it off-

Wait a minute. He was in the middle of a snowfield, yet didn't feel cold at all; in fact, he was getting very warm. Wasn't that a symptom of hypothermia? Suddenly, he noticed that his arms were very pale, unhealthily so.

“Oh no,” he whispered to himself, and put the coat back on. “Right, change of plan: I need to get out of here.” He activated his elytra again, and flew away from the blackstone construction.

He didn't have to fly long to find signs of civilization; he quite quickly came across a large street with many buildings along it. It was deserted, and didn't look like the building style of any other emperors, but Jimmy landed anyways. Then he decided to do something he probably should have done earlier; he checked chat.

Strangely enough, his chat didn't manifest as the book and quill he'd designed, but instead as a small red device. Still, it showed him the most recent messages of the server he'd ended up in:

Tango joined the game

<joehillssays> Howdy Tango, welcome back!

<Cubfan135> Tangooooooo

Tango was here! Jimmy didn't know the other names, but that didn't matter; finding Tango would already be very helpful. He decided to send him a private message; better not to alarm these strangers.

You whispered to Tango: tango

Tango whispered to you: tango

You whispered to Tango: im lost

Tango whispered to you: im lost

You whispered to Tango: where are you

Tango whispered to you: where are you

The fact that his messages to Tango immediately got sent back was worrying. Maybe Tango's chat was bugged, and somehow bouncing messages back instead of showing them to him...? Regardless, Jimmy sent him one more message.

You whispered to Tango: im so sorry about that death btw

Tango whispered to you: im so sorry about that death btw

Unsure of what else to do, Jimmy made his way to a bench and sat down. He was beginning to sweat; would it be safe to take off the coat yet? His arms still didn't have any colour in them, so he decided against it.

After a few minutes of waiting, someone flew past on elytra, noticed Jimmy, and landed in front of him. It wasn't Tango; this was someone wearing a brown sweater, with curled horns jutting out from his blond hair.

“There you are! Why weren't you responding to chat? And what are you in Scarland for?” the stranger asked Jimmy.

Jimmy wasn't sure how to respond; this person didn't seem at all concerned about the fact there was someone new on the server. He decided to get straight to the point: “I think I'm freezing to death.”

“Oh jeez. The deep frost finally got to you, then?” he stepped towards Jimmy, and put his hand on his forehead.

“I mean, you are a little cold, but I thought that was just part of your bit this season,” he said. “You feel, warmer than the last time I high-fived you. And- dude, you're sweating! Tango, buddy, I know hardcore worlds can get intense, but did you forget the difference between hot and cold?”

Jimmy hadn't ever high-fived this man. “I thought getting warm was a symptom of... did you just call me Tango?”

The man's eyes widened slowly. “...Yes? That's your name, silly!”

“No it isn't,” Jimmy said, and frowned. If he got mistaken for Tango, did that mean...?

“Oh. Okay, that's fine, uh... do you remember my name?” he spoke slowly, and had a concerned expression on his face.

“No. Look, dude, I think something went-”

“WHAT!?” the man interrupted Jimmy. “You don't even remember your best friend Zedaph? Okay, you are clearly not feeling well. Take that big coat off, I think you're overheating.”

Jimmy did take the coat off, leaving him with a short-sleeved undershirt. His upper arms were even paler than his hands; they were almost blue. Zedaph took the coat and draped it over the bench they were sitting on.

“Tango, you just lay down for a moment. I'll stay here with you, and I'll call X when he gets online, and then he'll get you checked out, okay?”

Jimmy started to lay down, then changed his mind. “No, I feel fine, but dude, I'm not Tango. My name's Jimmy, and me and Tango were-”

“Ah-bah-bah-bah, don't get so worked up, just get some rest,” Zedaph interrupted him, and pushed him flat onto the bench. He was surprisingly strong; or maybe Jimmy was just lighter than he was used to. Zedaph sat down on the bench next to him, and began writing something down, muttering to himself: “Okay, symptoms: amnesia, weird body temperature, talking in a London accent for some reason...”

Jimmy sighed, and laid down. How had he ended up in this situation?

---

One moment Bigb was rushing up the stairs of the Box, trying to help Ren. The next he was... sitting in his lap?

When he turned his head to see Ren's be-sun-spectacled face right next to his own, he immediately jumped up. He also squealed, which would've been embarrassing if not for the sound Ren made, which was louder and lasted much longer.

“He-hey, Ren! Fancy seeing you here,” Bigb said to Ren, trying to sound casual. He had not expected to see him again; he'd expected to end up back on BasicCraft with Tom. Maybe this was the afterlife? He was pretty sure Scott had mentioned an afterlife some other time.

“What sorcery is this!?” Ren responded, not sounding casual in the slightest. “Why- How is there an impostor of the king in thine own throne room?”

“Impostor? Aw, I thought you liked the matching dog ears,” Bigb replied, scratching his own ears. Yep, still furry. Then, noticing the small crown on Ren's head and the throne he was sitting on, he added: “Wait, are we doing this again? Uh, my lord.”

“Well, of course I like the ears. But-” Ren paused, and tilted his head at Bigb. “Ah, I see. You are my old self. My PEASANT self! Oh, how it doth pain me to see this reminder of how I once was... BEGONE!”

“Wow,” Bigb said. “Rude.” He'd remembered Ren having a dramatic flair as king, but he was fairly certain he'd been nicer last time.

“I am the king, and I can be rude to whomever I doth wisheth! Now leave me, I must ponder!”

Well, two could play at that game. “You know what?” Bigb said. “You look stupid in that big cape.”

Ren's face dropped, and Bigb saw him shrink down into his throne. “Oh,” he said, much quieter than before. He looked utterly crushed by Bigb's remark.

Bigb stuck out his tongue at him, and turned around to leave... but Ren's sad face made him feel bad. So he turned back around and said: “I'm sorry, my lord. That was mean.”

“Yes... yes, I'm sorry as well,” Ren replied, wiping a tear out of his eye. “I should not be so rude to my own image... but I can make it up to you!”

“You can?”

“Yes! From this point onwards, I declareth thee... the royal stunt double! If ever I need a vacation from ruling, or I get a bad haircut or something, I will calleth upon you to take my place for a meeting or two.”

Bigb raised an eyebrow. “And what's in it for me?”

“Huh? You... you'll have a position in the royal court of King RentheKing! That is the greatest honor in all of Hermitcraftia!” Ren called out, spreading his arms wide.

“Right, of course, of course,” Bigb responded, then scratched his ear again. “...Are you sure I look enough like you for that though? I mean, we don't even have...” he trailed off, as he took a good look at his own arm for the first time since getting here. Why on earth was he white?

“Yes, of course, you are my splitting image! Come, stand beside me,” Ren ordered, so Bigb approached him again and stood next to his throne. Ren grabbed his chat and turned on the camera.

“Look, our faces are identical! As soon as you don some proper royal garb, no one will tell the difference.” Sure enough, the screen showed two Rens: one with a crown and cloak, and one with the floral shirt Ren wore at the start of Double Life.

“Oh. Yeah, that makes sense,” Bigb said slowly, staring at the screen. “I have no questions about this at all.”

---

Martyn felt the characteristic thud of getting dropped into a new world, and opened his eyes to see he was laying in a flat field of grass.

“Are we going again already? Surely not, it's been like thirty seconds since the last game. I didn't even hear the rules this time,” he said to himself. He got up, and immediately saw that wherever he was, it was not at the start of a Life game. Giant rectangular pillars loomed before him, and he turned around to see two huge seahorse statues. He also noticed he wasn't wearing his own clothes; instead he was wearing a dark blue dress, and his limbs were pale green and felt numb.

He was undead like Cleo, and was wearing a dress like Cleo's. “If this is some kind of punishment for being mean to my soulmate earlier, it's-”

his statement to nobody in particular was interrupted by the sound of fireworks nearby. Martyn immediately whirled around to find the source-- was someone coming at him with a firework crossbow?

It almost seemed that way when an explosion of green and yellow lights in his peripheral vision made him jump; but the person who emerged from the explosion was unarmed. They looked a bit like Skizz, but with a significantly more eccentric fashion sense. They smiled at Martyn.

“Howdy Cleo, welcome back! How was the death game?” they said in a voice that sounded nothing like Skizz's.

Oh, so that's the game we're playing, Martyn thought. It was best to stay under the radar until he'd figured out what was going on, he thought; so he decided to play along.

“Oh you know... you know how it is with death games,” he replied, talking slower than usual, hoping to mimic Cleo's voice. It seemed to work, as Cleo's friend didn't look suspicious of him.

“Not really. It's been a little while since I did one. Maybe I should ask Grian to invite me next time,” they said. “Anyway, I'm about to go mine out some nether tunnels, do you want to help?”

“No. I'm gonna go... recover for a bit,” Martyn said. The more he was alone, the longer before someone caught on to the fact he wasn't actually Cleo. It's a good think we have similar accents at least, he thought.

“Okay, see you around!” the stranger responded, then used a pull-string firework rocket and elytra to take off into the sky. Martyn watched them fly away for a few seconds, then turn around and go back towards him.

“By the way, Cleo, I have a lot of blackstone now, so if you ever need any for your builds, just tell me and I'll give you some, alright?”

“Yeah, alright. Look, can you just-” Martyn was interrupted by the sound of yet another person flying in using elytra. He turned around and saw Scar landing on the ground and walking towards him, leaning on his cane. This was someone he knew-- he wasn't sure whether that was better for him or worse.

“Howdy Scar! Did you have fun in the death game?” Cleo's friend said, while grabbing a totem of undying from their inventory. That worried Martyn; he really didn't want to end up in the middle of a fight right now.

“Hi Joe,” Scar said to them. Then he turned to Martyn: “Look, Martyn, something's gone horribly wrong, as you can probably tell-”

“Who's Mahrtyn?” Cleo's friend-- Joe, apparently-- interrupted.

“This is,” Scar responded, gesturing at Martyn. “Wait, did he not... had you not told Joe?”

Martyn didn't respond. Well, there goes that plan, he thought. Joe stared ahead for a moment, squinting, then a smile broke across their face and they turned to Martyn.

“Oh my gosh, Cle- Martyn, that's amazing! I'm so happy for you! Is it okay if I call Quinn?”

Martyn didn't know who Quinn was, but evidently Scar did. “No, Joe, that's not what I-” he started to say, before breaking down into laugher. It was a loud cackle, very un-Scar-like; and Martyn suspected he knew why.

Joe's smile faded. “...What?” they said accusingly. “Did I not understand this correctly? Also, Scar, why are you British now?”

When British Scar had recovered slightly from his laughing fit, he said: “No, Joe, listen- first of all, I'm not Scar, I'm Grian. Somehow we all got swapped into each other's bodies when coming back from Double Life. So this isn't Cleo at all, this is Martyn.”

“Oh, okay,” Joe said. Then they blinked and said to Martyn: “Wait, no, cancel that. You mean you aren't my good friend Cleo?”

Martyn sighed. “No, sorry dude.” At this point, pretending otherwise would only make things worse. Martyn held out his hand-- or rather, Cleo's hand-- to Joe. “I'm Martyn, nice to meet you.”

Joe stood still for a second, thinking, then shrugged and took it. “It's a pleasure,” he replied. “Welcome to Hermitcraft, I guess.”

(next)

#arthropod writes #double life smp #double life fic #jimmy solidarity #zedaph #bigbst4tz2 #renthedog #rentheking #martyn inthelittlewood #joe hills #the swap au

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