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whyqueerbaitingisbad · 3 years

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movies & shows

cracks knuckles* alright this is going to be more of a rant than an analysis because i’m basing this on both my research, but also how it felt to personally be baited by these shows. there are obviously more pieces of bad (almost every horror movie) and good ones but these are the ones i’ve watched.

please keep in mind that i am but one queer and everyone has different opinions.

Supernatural (CW) 2005

This show is 15 years old and just ended. From season 5 till 15, there has been tension between two of the lead characters. They were constantly shipped together and not only did the entire fandom know about this ship but so did almost all of Tumblr. On top of that, the actors and show runners knew about it as well. Which is why it makes it ridiculous that it was constantly pushed aside while the romantic coding kept happening, even after show runners dismissed it as being intentional. The Destiel (Dean x Cas) case has been going on for years, and as the show came to its end, many fans had hope. But N O P E. Instead, we got a love confession from Cas where Dean looked like he was near constipated and the Cas was killed and sent into a fiery place that was not hell but s u p e r h e l l.

… w hy.

Sherlock (BBC) 2010

Just like Supernatural, this show was renown on Tumblr for not only how good it was, but its hinting at a potential relationship between Sherlock Holmes and John Watson. But again, like Supernatural, the intentional tension between the two characters was denied by producers. This caused an uproar within the fandom, and even left some people believing that, after the last season aired, it had been a joke and the producers were hiding a “secret, unaired season” because they had felt so robbed by this show that had implied something and denied it.

The 100 (CW) 2014

We got lesbians. We got background gays. We were happy. Then, all of a sudden, one of them is killed for no reason. Did it advance the plot? No. Was she fighting and died in battle? lol no. She was doing literally nothing and got shot and died. And then the producers kept bringing her back once a season in the form of a ghost or illusion because why? Because she was a fan favourite queer character. ✨bury your gays and sparingly bring them back for profit anyone?✨

Voltron: Legendary Defender (Netflix) 2016

*deep breathe* This one is a special disaster. Not only was there romantic tension and romantically coded scenes for 7 seasons, but producers, voice actors and artists working on the show repeatedly said “don’t worry klance (Keith x Lance) shippers, you’ll be happy”

. … w h e r e??? You code one of their scenes with a sunset in the background while they talk about love and then one of them goes on a date with someone who has declined his advances for 7 seasons but now in season 8 decides to do a full 180. Not only that, but you announce at a Comic Con (a convention) that a character is gay and has a fiancé, only to kill off the fiancé and never make it explicit in the show except at the last second of the last episode where he marries a no name character.

Personally, i’d like to say a big fuck you to the show that strung me along for 2 years and never stopped saying we’d be happy to then pull the rug out from under us and call us crazy for thinking anything from the past 8 seasons was intentional.

Scooby-Doo (2002)

While not being outwardly queerbaiting, this movie’s filmmaker has just revealed some shocking news, which wasn’t at all shocking to the gays who had watched this movie over the years. In July of 2020, James Gunn, the filmmaker of Scooby-Doo, revealed in a podcast that, initially, Velma was explicitly gay in his script, but then the studio watered it down until it became nothing. This isn’t an example of baiting as much as it is changing a character’s initial design to “better fit an audience”. The worst part of all this is that with Velma’s character having been written with a l i t t l e queer subtext, people had been theorizing about if since the movie came out, but were always yelled at by the internet for “imagining something that isn’t there”. But now, even with it being said that the initial point was for her to be gay, people have no objections to still refusing to accept it. Why?? So we can’t get the subtext gays OR the confirmed gays?? Make it make sense.

Brooklyn 99 (NBC) 2013

To have the queer characters firstly introduced without mentioning their sexualities and have it brought up naturally was so goddamn nice to see, because no one does a big deal about it unless they ask for that. This show is amazing in general but the way they show their queer characters is *chefs kiss*.

She-ra and the Princesses of Power (Netflix) 2018

This. Show. My heart SOARS. It's just a remake of an old show so absolutely nothing was ever expected, but then it was sprinkled in and ENDED WITH A BANG. And it was so beautiful and real to see the struggle of two friends who care for each other and want to be together but have different visions of the world fall in love. And they also had characters with disabilities, a non-binary character and jUST SUCH A GOOD SHOW.

Kipo and The Age of Wonderbeasts (Netflix) 2020

This is a case where you go into it not expecting anything and are BLOWN AWAY by the bare minimum. And not because it’s bad!! It's mind blowing because this is the simple representation we need!! Not something over the top, but an every day relationship. It’s just two boys falling in love and going on dates and being nervous around each other, yet i was so stunned. Because it’s not shown enough. I should not be this excited over something that should be this normal. 10/10 though this show is so good for all kinds of representation.

Steven Universe (Cartoon Network) 2013

This show did so much for queer representation with its general message of loving everyone and loving who you want. Especially since it was aired on Cartoon Network, a channel for kids, it was able to help normalize something so looked down upon in some circles. It made it easy to watch for s o m e people because it's a cartoon but it's so beautiful to see these ladies so in love with each other, both platonically and romantically and we see them have a family dynamic that isn’t a “nuclear family”. Rebecca Sugar (creator) really said “lemme just break all stereotypes real quick”.

Adventure Time (Cartoon Network) 2010

It's the “knowing a fanbase shipped something so hard that the creators made it canon” for me. This relationship had been theorized by fans for years, but it had never been explicit in the show. When the finale episode came out and the two shared a kiss, it was a moment of celebration. The producer of the show said that it had not really been planned but when the episode was being made, the choice of what happened was given to one of the artists (bless your soul Hanna K. Nyströmthe). And as the show releases little bonus episodes, its latest was centered around Marceline and Bubblegum and their relationship. AND WE LOVE TO SEE OUR DOMESTIC LESBIANS BEING HAPPY AND IN LOVE.

Yuri on Ice!!! (anime) 2016

The fact that an A N I M E gave us a love story between two men is mind boggling and it makes me so happy!! Especially because it's a Japanese show and they’re very conservative about these things just makes it more emotional. The creators said they wanted to make the anime take place in a world where gay/straight isn’t a thing, it’s just love (ladies, you’re going to make me cry). So as the weekly episodes came out and fans start speculating, THEY GAVE US THE LAST FEW EPISODES FULL OF ROMANCE AND EMOTIONAL SCENES BETWEEN THE TWO AND THEN THEY GET R I N GS?!???!! You watch for the figure skating, you stay for the figure skaters that are in love.

Shadowhunters (Freeform) 2016

*insert me being frustrated that the actors are straight so we can move on from that disappointment*

This show really said “let’s name a whole episode after this couple because they deserve it”. But seriously, they gave us two characters whose entire plot does not center around their sexualities while still showing us the differences in a relationship between someone experienced and someone new at this. They were both powerful and amazing characters apart from each other, with their own story lines and goals but they loved each other so much omgs. SO MUCH.

It was so great to watch.

Love, Simon (2018)

There’s a lot of disagreement on whether this movie is good representation or not. However, we need to take into consideration that this was Hollywood’s first movie with a main character that was gay, where the story’s focus was on Simon’s love story. The biggest problem, for me at least, was that the actor playing Simon is a straight man and not queer. My problem is not with him, but the fact that there are other actors that are gay and that could have played Simon just as well. (the love interested was however played by a queer actor so ✨progress✨)

All in all, this movie does represent what a lot of queer kids have to go through: being outed at school, how they then come out, the bullying and doubt they go through.

The book is also really good.

Call Me By Your Name (2018)

This movie is so aesthetically pleasing and was able to capture the confusion and heartbreak felt by a boy who’s struggling with his own feelings towards a man. His inner conflict and joy and l o v e he feels but doesn’t know how to deal with is so well communicated through the screen and just breaks your heart because it feels so real.

But again, they could’ve gotten gay actors to play gay characters…

through having this list here, i want to show you that it’s not hard for creators to give good queer representation. the LGBTQ+ community isn’t asking for much, we just want to be well represented on screen as just a regular character, not some token queer kid there for the diversity points. having been exposed to so much queerbaiting and just not seeing any representation on screen, i always get over-excited when i see a queer character, and that’s not how it should be. it should be a normal thing, something you can find in most pieces of media, just like there’s a straight white cisgender person in everything.

and they seriously need to start casting queer actors for queer characters...

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roselen-mylady · 4 years

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In Another Life

Bucky Barnes x reader ° part six

Summary: Waiting 88 years to find your soulmate? It was cruel. But it was a cruel fate Bucky would have to face whether he accepted it or not. Bucky was a tortured man all his life and he wasn't even granted the solace of having his soulmate at his side. All he had was the promise of one in another life. They were separated by two different times.

But the pain in their lives were connected.

Y/n had been alone ever since she could remember. All she could depend on was the soulmate that was destined to be at her side. Yet when the snap occured she lost him.

And Bucky never got to meet her.

2014

"What was it like meeting Fury?"

Maria glanced up from her paperwork, piecing together what Y/n had meant by the simple question. Like many children her age, Y/n was curious about meeting her soulmate and what it might feel like. Maria was once like Y/n and she smiled kindly, setting down the papers.

"Did he tell you?" Her unspoken question was easily understood by the young girl and Y/n shook her head, looking back down at her own papers. The blueprints of the Helicarriers had finally been granted to her and she found it made it easier to operate when she was able to get a better look at the inside without walking the length of the giant machinery.

"I figured it out on my own. But then again, he didn't try too hard to deny it." Y/n shrugged. Maria's smile lingered as she nodded absentmindedly.

"Nick has always been a smart man. He must've known trying to lie to you would be a difficult feat." She replied, earning a proud giggle from the young girl.

"Well, that's one way to look at it. I think he's just pissy that I owned his ass in training last week." Y/n smirked, stealing a glance at Maria as the woman laughed. "How did you feel, knowing that the most paranoid and dangerous man on the planet was your soulmate?"

Maria thought over Y/n's question this time, knowing that getting her to dismiss it would be pointless and impossible. It was a question Maria never had to answer before. No one had ever asked her how it felt to be Fury's soulmate because nobody really knew. Fury couldn't risk someone coming after her because of it and she quickly found that it went both ways. They protected each other and slowly built a bond that went deeper than being partners. They were companions and on the rare chance that Fury decided to open up, it was always to her.

"I felt like I had known him forever. It was like meeting an old friend and it felt familiar and safe." Maria answered carefully. "Of course, it took some time to gain his trust but then again he didn't exactly have mine either. Once there was trust, we were each other's greatest allies and have been ever since."

Y/n listened intently with a childish amazement. Though Maria's explanation wasn't exactly romantic, Y/n had grown up listening to the fairy tale of her parents' meeting and she couldn't help but imagine a happy ending like in the stories.

The mere thought of having that with someone brought a stupid grin to her face and she let herself fall into the fantasy of meeting him. What if he was one of the older boys at her old high school? They were funny, handsome and always kind to her despite her age. Would they have a cliche reunion when they were older like in the movies?

Or was he someone she had never met before? Was he thinking about her? Did he wish just as badly to meet her? Would he hold her and kiss her as passionately as the guys on TV did? Her poor 15 year old cheeks flushed at the idea and Maria laughed quietly as she watched Y/n get lost in her thoughts.

"I can't wait to have that with someone." Y/n confessed, wanting desperately to have someone to share her life with. She already wanted to tell him everything but she still had at least three years before getting her countdown and however long after that to wait. Waiting was never something she enjoyed but for him she decided it couldn't be too bad.

"You will. You just have to be patient." Maria told her. Y/n nodded silently, glancing back at her papers as her mind drifted back to her plans for the Helicarriers.

He'd be worth the wait.

•••

1992

"Sir." A younger agent called, catching the attention of the older man. "His countdown…"

Bucky sat before them, expressionless in his chair as the aftermath of the wiping buzzed through every nerve in his brain. His chest heaved in steady yet painful breaths, his dark locks clinging to his forehead as sweat drenched him and his uniform.

The older man watched him with a stony gaze, his focus never tearing away from the broken assassin. "What of it?" He replied, agitated as the younger agent fidgeted beside him. Bucky's condition didn't sit as well with him as it had with the others. His young mind still clung to what was right and what was wrong, untainted by the concept of loyalty and duty. He pitied the Soldier and whoever he was destined to.

"What are you going to do about his soulmate?" The young man asked cautiously. He feared the backlash of his words but he couldn't stop them from coming out. No one seemed to have the Soldier's interests at heart and while he knew that was the point of brainwashing him, the young agent believed there was still a part of the Soldier left. One that craved his soulmate like everyone else.

"He will handle it like every other threat. His soulmate has no place in this world or with him and will be dealt with accordingly." The older man answered without missing a beat. There was no remorse in his voice, sending a sick feeling to the younger agent's stomach.

Bucky hadn't even moved at the mention of his soulmate, his freshly erased mind unable to recognize just how important the discussion was. It was unable to comprehend that he was going to be the death of his own soulmate, let alone object to it. All he could do was obey.

The agent's eyes fell from the Soldier, repenting his choice to join HYDRA. They spoke of the future and creating a world willing to give up their freedom for safety but this wasn't right. The tortured man before him was enough proof to show HYDRA was no longer standing for any cause. They just wanted the world to burn.

And they fully intended to make Bucky light the match.

•••

Y/n hated how terribly familiar it felt, standing there in the compound while the man she had come to know as Scott rambled on about the Quantum Realm. It reminded her of being an agent, the youngest person in the room but still the brightest. The way she would lay out mission plans and listen to Fury explain them the very next day to the other agents. She was a good agent, a hero, Fury had once told her. But that was behind her. She couldn't go back to fighting for the greater good.

She wasn't built for it.

The Quantum Realm was always a topic that piqued her interest. The bizarre nature of the other realm was complex but she felt an obligation to understand it the best she could. Her incisive mind would never rest without something to contemplate and whenever she felt herself growing bored she'd come back to the science around the Quantum Realm. There was so much about it that they still didn't know which meant it's possibilities were as infinite as the realm itself.

But what Scott was talking about was just unbelievable.

Stuck in the Quantum Realm for five years? Trapped in a void of infinite time and space for all that time without any way to tell exactly how much time has passed, she wondered how he didn't go mad. His later explanation of five years only feeling like a short span of five hours, cleared up her most pressing question but she still had a million more to take its place.

How did he get to the Quantum Realm? How'd he get stuck? How did he navigate himself out? Why did he only get out now? How did he find them?

Her mind was buzzing with so many unknowns. But she could hardly hear her own thoughts as one voice screamed from her subconscious.

Run.

"I really don't think I should be here." Y/n mumbled, starting to step away from the three. Her doubt and fear began to overpower any curiosity she had about the Quantum Realm and she fought the urge to just leave without an explanation. She owed Steve an explanation. He trusted her enough to have her there and she couldn't even explain why she couldn't stay. Why anything involving heroes filled her with such guilt and terror that she avoided it at all costs. Until she met him.

The group's focus shifted to her as she backtracked, hesitantly trying to make her escape before it was too late. Yet all hopes of leaving quickly diminished as Steve called her name, his desperation clearer than the windows around them.

"Please. You can help us." He pleaded. Nat reached out to reason with him but he stayed firm in his request. His eyes were fixated on Y/n and she struggled to remain unwavering.

"How, Steve? I'm not like you guys. I'm not an Avenger." Y/n told him. The sentence soured in her mouth but she was insistent, hoping maybe if they believed it she would too. Nat stared at her with an unreadable expression making the frantic beating of Y/n's heart only double.

Y/n was a good liar. A trait she supposed came with her intelligence. Fury found this trait as a skill he could use, morph to make her into a better agent. But as she stared at Steve and Nat she couldn't help the disappointed frown that had formed. Lying to them was all she had done. And once they found out, she would lose them.

Steve's eyes fell to the floor, considering Y/n's argument with a grave expression. He wanted to respect her wishes and let her go. She had a normal life and ever since he entered it, there was a feeling of guilt that hovered over him like a dark cloud. The thought of anything happening to her because of him was crushing but he couldn't bring himself to leave her.

Y/n represented the only piece of normal he had left. For 80 he was treated as a symbol, an idol for people to look up to and while for years that what he had wanted and accepted was his life, he still craved the normal life he never got. A life with his soulmate where he wasn't Captain America, where he had a normal home and normal friends.

Y/n was normal to him even if she was strangely smart at times or she seemed to be hiding a loss in her past that he never got close enough to ask about. Despite her secrets she gave him normalcy and all of the questions he had for her faded away. Even her hesitance toward their friendship was forgotten because she was kind and he never felt the anger of his failure from her. With her he could forget it all, and go back to a time things were better, a time he once lived with Bucky.

He just couldn't let her walk out the door, especially with Scott there. His presence meant there was a change in the air and for the first time in 5 years, he was hopeful. There might actually be a way to undo what Thanos had done and he wanted Y/n there every step of the way. To keep him grounded.

"You are to me." Steve confessed, his soft frown silently begging her to stay.

Y/n watched his eyes search hers, looking for any tell that might give him his answer. She desperately wanted to say no. Run away like she had been all this time and forever regret getting so close to a hero when she had promised herself to never go back.

But all that came to mind was a smaller but more compelling thought. She was a coward. The once correct decision she believed she had committed by leaving her past behind her wasn't protecting those around her. She was fearful and senseless and by running away she wasn't saving anyone but herself.

In that moment, whether she stayed or not was her chance to do something with herself. The same dream she had as a child of being something more was still there, unrelenting in the back of her mind and this time she wouldn't let failure ruin her. She had felt the loss of everyone she'd ever cared about and by joining Steve she ran the risk of it again. But she wouldn't. Not this time.

"Okay. I'll help however I can." Y/n offered a small smile, trying to force away the worry that sprouted in her heart. For years her work with helping those after the snap had satisfied her need to put her skills to good use but now she could do more. Like Fury had wanted her to.

"Wait, what's your power? I get really small, I mean, obviously, Ant-Man. And sometimes I can get big too but I try not to anymore." Scott ranted, the excitement obvious in his wide eyes and rapid words. Y/n gave Scott a lasting stare, a little thrown off by his polar attitude towards the emotional moment.

"I read minds." She joked, hoping he'd catch on to her sarcasm. But the poor man was too thrilled with her supposed superpower to realize he'd been fooled.

"Whoa, that's so cool. What am I thinking?" He asked almost instantly, childlike in his manner as he stared at her intently. Her face deadpanned, sending a quizzical look to Steve and Nat. This was the man they were listening to? Steve shrugged in return before both their gazes fell back on Scott.

"You're thinking about eating that sandwich." Y/n answered finally, a glimpse of disbelief flashing across his features. It didn't exactly take a mind reader to know, she had noticed him staring at it since he entered the room. But that didn't occur to him and no one wasted any more time explaining it to him as he stole half the sandwich.

"Scott, what were you talking about?" Steve sighed, dragging Scott's distracted mind back to his plan. The frenzied man swallowed thickly, forcing his words through the peanut butter that stuck before starting to pace.

"What I'm saying is, time works differently in the Quantum Realm. The only problem is right now, we don't have a way to navigate it. But what if we did? I can't stop thinking about it. What if we could somehow control the chaos and we could navigate it? What if there was a way to enter the Quantum Realm at a certain point in time but then exit at another point in time? Like-like before Thanos." Scott described.

"Wait, are you talking about a time machine?" Steve questioned in disbelief. Y/n looked to Nat, the slight flick of her eyes conveying her skepticism. Scott stopped pausing to shake his head with a scoff, offended that his masterful plan had been compared to the object of most fictional media.

"No. No, of course not. No, not a time machine. It's more like a…" Uncertain, his voice trailed off. "Yeah, a time machine. I know it's crazy." Scott admitted, unable to find another word for his idea. Y/n shook her head, stepping forward.

"Yeah, you're right it's insane." She agreed. Steve's brow furrowed and he crossed his arms turning to her.

"What do you know about this?" He inquired, wondering if his request for her to stay had been justified. Y/n bit her tongue, unsure how much to tell him. She'd have to find a way to explain how helpful she could be without dredging up her past.

With a short sigh, she ran a forceful hand through her hair, grateful when her fingers didn't snag. What they were talking about was impossible. Sure there were theories on uses of the Quantum Realm, many of which she researched yet none were proven. The sheer fact that it was so outlandish was one of the reasons that had steered her in it's direction.

"In college I went to practically every science related class I could. This scientist, Bill Foster, came to my college and did a short class on it for like a month. I thought it was cool so I kept coming back but this isn't an exact science, the Quantum Realm is infinite in time and space." Her excuse was vague, vague enough to not get any more questions.

Once during her years at college she would stay up countless nights letting her mind run rampant about the topic. It was fun to see if she could figure out a way to use the Quantum Realm like Scott talked about it, but the main reason it was fun was because she never expected to actually have to make a working theory.

"Hey, I met that guy." Scott announced, rather amused as Y/n gave him an exasperated look.

"Then you should know that finding a certain point in time is the equivalent of finding a needle in a haystack but the haystack is infinite and time means nothing." It was frustrating not being able to be of more help since she was in fact a genius but the science was too unreliable, practically everything was just hypothetical.

"So, can you find a magnet?" Steve asked. Y/n looked to him recognizing the desperation in his eyes. The simple action made her heart clench in her chest. Steve had a way of making those around him share his passion toward anything and she hated how easily she fell victim. It was impossible not to get wrapped up in the righteousness of things especially when her best friend was the face of America.

It was his passion that had kept her around him, unable to distance herself like she had from so many others. Something in Steve was reassuring and she never feared losing him to anything but her secrets, but that was easy, right? She could keep a secret.

Y/n rubbed her arm, briefly catching sight of her countdown. The numbers sent a chill through her and she froze for a moment, her eyes calm and calculated as she thought over the situation.

An interesting idea came to mind looking down at the numbers on her wrist. Was this what her countdown was leading her to? A time machine? It made sense since her countdown had been just as curious as the Quantum Realm itself. Did her countdown mean time travel was real?

She tugged down her sleeve, not catching Steve's eyes peering down at it, trying to catch a glimpse but to no avail.

"I might be able to get you started but it'd take a genius to even know where to go from there." Y/n offered, unaware of Nat's narrowing eyes. Steve turned his gaze to the floor, a certain man coming to mind. There was a slim chance he might help. The guilt Steve felt was the same in Tony and it might be enough to get him to join their crazy mission.

"I can't stop thinking about it. There's gotta be some way... There's gotta be...some w... it's crazy." Scott mumbled. Y/n crossed her arms looking over at Steve. She remembered a time when even being friends with him was crazy to her but she quickly grew used to the feeling. But now she was questioning everything.

In what world would she ever run back to her past. In what world would she set aside her fear to help the Avengers, a team she was once groomed to replace. In what world could she forget about her mistakes and help revive the world if their plan worked.

"I get emails from a raccoon, so nothing sounds crazy anymore." Nat let out a sigh, annoyed by her own mention of said raccoon. Y/n's head unconsciously whipped around to her, confusion creasing through her brow.

Maybe in a world where raccoons talk?

"So who do we talk to about this?" Scott questioned, shifting his stare between the three. Nat and Steve shared a look knowing who they'd have to visit and that he'd probably not be too easy to persuade.

Y/n stared dazed at Nat, only deciding to speak up when it became apparent that Nat wouldn't explain further. "Wait, a raccoon?"

•••

A song Y/n didn't recognize hummed in the background, just audible over the rough sound of the road.

Reluctantly Y/n had gone with Steve and the others to Fairburn, Georgia, heading somewhere she hadn't thought to ask. Now she drove a rental car a couple car links behind Nat as she led them outside the city.

Steve hadn't said a word the entire ride, instead shifting silently in his seat. His mind was too jumbled with the time machine and his best friend's sudden knowledge in the Quantum Realm to really make any type of conversation. All the secrets he knew she'd been hiding were beginning to weigh on him and he didn't know if he could afford to allow her to keep them any longer. If it meant bringing back half the population, so many of his friends included, was he prepared to out her?

Deciding the silence was too much to bare, Y/n spoke what had been on her mind. "Is it him again?"

Her eyes were fixated on the road and she intended to keep them there, in fear that looking at Steve might break her resolve. She was going to get answers.

"Who?" Steve asked, wondering if somehow she had figured out where they were going.

"Bucky." She answered, catching him off guard.

It was no secret, Y/n's subtle resentment. A lot of people still held onto the acts of the Winter Soldier and while Steve couldn't blame them, he also couldn't blame Bucky. It was a horrible thing done to him but for the life of him, Bucky couldn't seem to receive forgiveness.

But what had surprised Steve was the way his name sounded from her mouth. It was bitter but so defeated as if her anger tired her. He wondered why she would mention him at all if that were the case.

"How did you forgive him? For all the lives he took, for all the people he hurt?"

There it was. The reason. The question he'd hope to never be asked by her. It meant she hadn't forgiven him. It meant that she wouldn't.

"What do you mean?" Steve questioned, almost in denial of what she had said.

It had been years since he had tried to prove his best friend's innocence to someone and it hurt that he had to do it now with someone who had become as dear to him as Bucky. "He wasn't himself, Y/n. You know that."

"How wasn't he himself?" She pressed as gently as she felt she could manage. She couldn't risk making Steve close further into himself but she wanted to know, more than anything in the world.

"How could he have not made the conscious choice to be a killer?" She asked. 70 years was a long time, but not long enough to become a completely different person. There was more to it. That secret being kept from her.

"The Winter Soldier wasn't him." Steve pleaded.

Y/n paused. He was holding onto that delusion by a thread and she was on the verge of snapping it.

Guilt flooded her and she bit her cheek, not daring to speak another word. It wasn't fair to demand answers from him. She knew that. But she couldn't do it anymore.

She was way past asking for an apology, all she asked for was closure. She'd accepted her own role in her misfortune, realizing that she played a part within it. She accepted the guilt that came with it, accepted that it was because of her ambitions that she was left with this trauma.

All she wanted to know was why he had done it. Why would he mindlessly try to kill a 15 year old and then claim that wasn't him in the next moment? And the only man that could truly tell her what he was thinking while choking the life from her was gone.

"I'm sorry, Steve." She spoke quietly, trying to force the quiver from her voice. "It's just, I never knew the Bucky you remember."

Steve didn't reply. It was like he was trying to protect the truth. Protect it for himself or for Bucky's memory, she couldn't tell but she knew she hadn't yet earned the truth from him. Not unless he knew hers.

"The first I ever heard of him was when I was fifteen. I was living in Washington when he killed a man in the street." She told him, leaving out the part where the Winter Soldier then turned his attack toward her. "I was nearby that day, I saw him blow up that man's SUV."

Steve was stunned by what she told him. She had never told him that she'd actually seen the Winter Soldier. Never revealed that her resentment came from a personal place.

"The Winter Soldier hurt people, he destroyed lives. I saw him do that, you can't just tell me it wasn't him." Y/n swallowed thickly. It was difficult to hide her stinging eyes, eyes that wanted so badly to cry from frustration.

For years she had listened to his stories. And yet he kept the most important one from her.

Steve knew she was right. Bucky's full story was never released to the public. There was no way she knew anything other than what she'd seen and the horrible things the media remembered him for.

Nobody would ever hear his story and come to forgive him. He was gone and his truth had been buried with him.

But here Y/n was, pleading to hear that very story. She was desperate to move on and while Steve didn't completely understand why, he wondered if maybe this was his chance to make amends on Bucky's behalf. To ease Y/n's obvious pain just a little.

"In 1945 Bucky was taken by HYDRA after I left him for dead. It's my fault that they got him. I couldn't save him." Steve's regret bubbled rapidly up his throat.

Y/n listened silently, surprised yet grateful that he'd spoken.

She listened as he explained what HYDRA called the Winter Soldier project. He told her in detail how they'd use him to carry out political assassinations against his will and Cryo-Freeze him away for years whenever they were done with him.

All of this she knew from her own research. What she hadn't known, however, was perhaps the most disturbing part of the tale. The answer to the question she'd been asking for years.

How had such a kind man like James Barnes become a ruthless killer?

"The Bucky I knew would never do those things willingly. I knew-" Steve's voice cracked as he tried to get out the hardest part of a story he hated telling. He hated even thinking about what they'd done to his friend and coming to terms with it seemed like something he'd never accomplished.

"I knew they had to have done something terrible to him to make that happen. And I was right." Steve frowned.

Y/n held her breath as his next words came, unsure if she could handle what she would hear. Once he told her, she would have to make a choice, a choice she feared she might not be able to make.

Would she forgive, putting all the blame onto her own mistakes? Or would she hold onto her resentment, allowing the Winter soldier to continue to serve as a scapegoat for the day that ruined her life?

Unfortunately, the choice was made for her.

"For 70 years they brainwashed him using this memory suppressing machine. I saw it, Y/n. In Serbia, where they kept him. It was a chair in a dark room that they strap him into and use to erase who he was." Steve confessed, releasing the truth Y/n had been so adamant about hearing.

Now she wished she hadn't.

Ignorance was bliss, right?

"They used electroshock. Not only did it erase all of his memories from before he was the Winter Soldier, it literally damaged his brain. He couldn't make a single choice for himself, couldn't object or fight back." Steve bit his lip, turning to face his friend. "Y/n, you have to believe me when I tell you, the Bucky I know would've rather died than do the things he was forced to."

Y/n froze, her gaze falling on his pleading expression only for a moment. It was all she could bear.

She felt sick, trying to process what he told her.

So that's why Steve was firm in his belief that James Barnes wasn't the Winter Soldier.

Mentally he wasn't.

"Brainwashing?" The word rolled off her tongue with a sting. All this time she'd resented a brainwashed man, a man who physically couldn't make decisions of his own. He never had any motive to hurt her, he merely did what he was told.

Guilt rose in her throat and she gagged feeling bile rise along with it.

Everything she'd ever convinced herself crumbled around her, the only thing left standing being her pity for James Barnes. For years she pitied him. Pitied the man that had fallen so far from the symbol of altruism to a heartless assassin.

Now she pitied him for so many reasons she couldn't begin to list them. In fact it wasn't even pity anymore. Now it was simply sorrow. She mourned the man that had disappeared just when he was beginning to take control over his life again.

It was hard to convince herself that the Winter Soldier still warranted that hatred she wanted so desperately to direct away from herself. Maybe that was why Steve thought of them as separate people.

She couldn't resent James Barnes.

But the man he was once forced to be still terrified her.

The knot in her stomach tightened but she kept her face neutral as they turned off the busy road, driving off in a more vacant area. Trees were beginning to spot around them and Y/n tried to focus on admiring them rather than the sickening tale Steve had told her.

While the man she feared had been brainwashed into doing the horrible things he did, she had ruined her life with the promise of making things better. She had a choice while he hadn't. Was she the monster?

•••

Part seven

Taglist

@cancanmarvel

@jessyballet

@eldahae

@mc225g

@kissesofdeadforme

@wantingtobekorra

@sxphiiwrld

#bucky barnes #marvel #avengers #endgame #steverogers #buckybarnes #infinitywar #tonystark #first avenger #iron man #winter soldier #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes x y/n #sebastian stan #soulmate au #soulmate #bucky x reader #x reader

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jyndor · 4 years

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lol i got mad about a thing reylos said. shocking. (tw: nazism, fascism)

just saw a ridiculous post about how people who talk about the first order as being nazis are ignoring history and disrespecting jewish people and let me tell you

that the only reason I didn’t write this on that post is because I think the op is probably jewish and also a kyle ron/reylo fan and lol well. I don’t need to be told I can’t have an opinion on this or that I am attacking them. this is nothing personal, except that reylos have a history of being racist and dismissive about fascism, and so I am honestly shook that someone could be so disingenuous. lol oop that was personal.

if you know anything about film history, you know that george lucas got his inspiration for the empire’s look, and also for certain shots of the rebels, from nazi propaganda made by leni riefenstahl, specifically triumph of the will. (guys don’t go looking it up if you haven’t seen it unless you have a strong stomach because it is really, really disgusting). now, that is more or less what happens when you have a guy who is a student of film history make a movie about, you guessed it, a band of rebels fighting an imperial force but in space. george lucas also put a lot of politics into star wars, specifically anti-fascist messaging. this is like the most basic argument people make when dealing with right-wing fans of sw. this is what we’ve all said to some dumbass white guy who got mad about rey or finn or poe. I would bet that some reylos have also had that conversation, since they care about rey (I guess, although that might be too strong a word; they certainly don’t care about shipping her with a guy who tortured her lol but I digress).

jj abrams took what was already overt fascist imagery from the empire and turned it up to eleven for the first order. this is actually why I found the inclusion of POC as first order OFFICERS (not low level workers Bodhi or stolen baby stormtroopers like Finn) to be kind of fucked up, because it diluted the narrative. do not come at me with some idiotic YESS MORE BLACK IMPERIALS YESS because I am just not here for that brand of idiot representational pinkwashing(? this is a term we use for putting gay shit on monstrous corporate/imperial shit to seem more progressive but it might not be the right term for this).

if you look at the og trilogy, every single imperial officer is a posh white british man, and while I am sure that was partly because diversity was not really something george seemed mindful of, it was also a deliberate thing. like, they clearly wanted to evoke an image of imperialist, and yes FASCIST, rule. this is not that hard to understand so don’t be fucking obtuse just because you like kyle ron or reylo. not that I believe that the intent of the creator is the end all, be all, but in this case it does matter.

yes the anti-alien biases were mainly a product of legends, but I am pretty sure it is also implicit in the original movies because there are no aliens to be found in imperial ranks, and they are everywhere in the rebellion. and yes, I can understand why this might be offensive because you don’t need metaphors to understand why the nazis were bad, and yet. maybe, sometimes, you do need to give people a metaphorical understanding of things they haven’t experienced. and humans have a notoriously difficult time understanding large numbers - so maybe, a visual example of what the fuck genocide might seem like is... idk, helpful for kids? alderaan being death star’d might not be actual history, and it might not represent what jewish/romani/etc victims of the nazis experienced, but it IS chilling. personally I think that tfa did a better job with its death star knock-off because we actually saw people in their last moments. alderaan’s destruction can be rightfully criticized as too distant, since we only see leia’s response, and not what it felt like on the ground. but undoubtedly this is a fictional representation of fascist, imperial might - and all the destruction that comes with it.

it isn’t just visual, and of course the star war isn’t real and no real alderaanians were harmed in the making of the movies. duh. it’s a metaphor, an allegory. like idk who these reylos are kidding, acting like people who criticize you guys for stanning a fascist fuckboy don’t understand that these are just fiction.

the REASON I get mad about reylo and about kyle ron stans, is because nothing exists in a vacuum. NOTHING. not a damn thing. the dumbing down of stormtroopers and imperial ideology (vague though it might be) is actually how Disney gets away with marketing t-shirts with stormtrooper helmets on them to little kids, or like idk how people have convinced themselves that ben solo is just misunderstood and damaged, and not a thirty-year-old man who has made a deliberate choice to commit genocide. his so-called abuse (which we only get to see in a comic? like I’m sorry do better with your sob story) is no excuse for at best being silently complicit in genocide, and at worst actively campaigning for it.

I think there are good critiques that people make about saying the empire is nazism, because obviously this is fiction. you cannot have it both ways. you cannot say that it is anti-fascist when you are arguing with right-wingers who didn’t get that message, and then turn around when people say your fave is at best neutral on genocide (lol) and say we can’t talk about how he is a fascist.

I saw someone say something like, no one calls darth vader a fascist. LMAO yes we fucking do. now I will be the first to admit that anakin gets a lot more empathy, and part of that is because he is a more beloved character with more nuance than kyle ron. and decades of lore. but also because he didn’t grow up a privileged son of a princess, he grew up enslaved and because of his traumas he went right-wing. which does in fact happen. but yeah, darth vader had to die at the end of rotj for a reason - because no one would forgive him for the crimes he committed against the galaxy. it’s tragic because he had the potential to do great, and he redeems himself by killing the emperor, but approximately no critic of kyle ron would ever say that anakin skywalker deserved to go free and live without consequences for his actions.

if I have more sympathy for him, it is because the movies gave me reason. not because he’s hot. or idk a bad boy.

and after the racist abuse that john boyega got from KYLE RON AND REYLO stans specifically, if I were them I would shut the fuck up about how offended you guys are about calling him a fascist or a nazi. you can like your bad boy wet dream if you want, and you don’t have to even like that people think he is a fascist, and you can deny all you want all of that OVERT FASCIST IMAGERY that jj abrams put into tfa, but it’s there, and we don’t live in a vacuum, and I am not here for people dumbing down cultural phenomenon.

redemptions arcs are great! I believe in rehabilitative justice, and I agree that there is a bit of gatekeeping on who gets to be redeemed in stories. but rehabilitative justice isn’t just like you let people who do bad shit get away with it, it is a long process wherein offenders have to do some serious work on themselves. it is not easy. it is not fun, doesn’t end in sex with daisy ridley. and in many ways, it might be harder than doing hard time.

but I also don’t think we get to just... rehabilitate the lead officers who are complicit in war crimes without dealing with what they’ve done, that is how I feel about george bush, and yes, that is how I feel about kylo ren, no matter how much you try to woobify him. because that is what society already does - we let the monsters at the top of the system get away with war crimes and murder and rape, so maybe we should fight that kind of narrative in fiction, too.

we don’t live in a vacuum.

#i have jewish family members and i am not here for this bullshit #like who you like if you must #but that was some cognitive dissonant shit #fascism tw #nazism tw #war crimes tw #i mean these are pretty vaguely mentioned but still #cait got mad #shocking

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naysaltysalmon · 5 years

Text

I have a lot of feelings about the Steven Universe movie.

Before I watched Steven Universe: The Movie, I read this analysis about Spinel’s toxicity as a character/person that made me interested in watching it.

I wasn’t expecting Steven Universe to cover a situation as ambivalent as a victim’s response to complex trauma, especially not after all the controversy and froufrou surrounding Rose’s reveal as Pink Diamond and Steven convincing a dictator like White Diamond into being a better ruler. (I’m oversimplifying.)

What struck me in @love-takes-work’s analysis was the apparent slipperiness surrounding the character Spinel, who was traumatized by Pink Diamond, exhibited symptoms of complex-PTSD and borderline personality disorder, and, as a result, became a toxic person. Something Rebecca Sugar very much wanted to portray.

Before I’d even watched the movie, I agreed with the aforementioned analysis. Not just in Steven Universe but in many series and in real life, characters/people who have experienced trauma are constantly sympathized with while the characters/people who have to deal with the fallout of that trauma are demonized for being unequipped to properly handle it. So, the character who abated White Diamond finally getting in over his head dealing with a gem attacking him over Rose’s actions is a topic I never thought would actually be touched upon in the series. But more than that, I was happy to see a character’s uncensored toxicity in exhibiting symptoms of mental illness in a kid’s movie that would be watched by millions.

I agree wholeheartedly that Spinel was a toxic person to Steven and the Crystal Gems, and that her past trauma doesn’t change or justify what she did to them over the course of the movie. That being said, I’m wary of the assumption in this and other analyses that Spinel -- and in turn actual victims of trauma who exhibit symptoms of complex-PTSD and borderline personality disorder -- know that their actions are toxic.

Awareness of one’s behavior doesn’t change whether someone’s actions are toxic or not, but waving aside Spinel’s toxicity throughout the course of the movie as her constant conscious choice to be a toxic person and just as her unwillingness to change as a person, is just... not true.

As someone who suffers from complex-PTSD, I think Rebecca Sugar and the Crewniverse did a magnificent job in portraying Spinel’s development as realistic -- albeit perhaps dangerously ambivalent for those who are uneducated about trauma and mental illness. By the end of the movie, Spinel declared that she was hurting strangers because she was choosing to take revenge, and eventually broke down, realizing her behavior was irrational and was only driving people away from her -- but before this?

Steven led her out of the garden and showed her kindness, and she reverted to toxic behavior, but I don’t think she was trying to be toxic -- she didn’t know what else she could be. Pink Diamond was Spinel’s only friend and then she abandoned Spinel for six-thousand years. All of Spinel’s self-worth was defined by her connection to Pink Diamond, as was her entire worldview. Spinel didn’t know how to blame the only person she knew and trusted, so she thought removing Steven and the Crystal Gems from the picture would bring some kind of resolution and comfort from Pink Diamond’s son. Just as little children learn from emulation, Spinel’s role model acted under the guise of being a close friend and then betrayed her. Pink Diamond shirked all the responsibility of her actions onto other people and left them to face the consequences. So when Spinel found out that Pink Diamond left her for the Earth, for Steven and the others, Spinel thought -- and therefore genuinely believed -- that it was Steven’s and the others’ faults that she was left alone, forgotten, broken, a toy.

I’m speaking from experience and not everyone’s experience is the same; but, I’ve seen people argue that Spinel’s immediate reaction to take her pain out on other people was a conscious choice to be a bad person, but the level of awareness others assume that Spinel had in her actions in their analysis just... doesn’t sit right with me. Let me reiterate that I am not arguing that Spinel’s experience of trauma excuses her behavior as a toxic person. What I am arguing is that, toxicity doesn’t register when you’re traumatized. When being hurt is all you’ve ever been taught by those closest to you, that’s what you’re going to learn and know how to do in return.

In this case, I would say of course Spinel is going to believe that hurting Steven means she loves him; Steven had shown her love and then perceivedly brushed her aside like Pink Diamond, leading Spinel to believe that hurt is what defines close connection, since that’s what she’s learned. That’s how PTSD, especially complex-PTSD, and borderline personality disorder work, by creating false equivalences born out of traumatic experiences.

Now, carrying the idea that Spinel actions were toxic, if not entirely by her conscious fault, I want to move onto a dicier topic. While Steven did his best to help Spinel with the knowledge and emotional capacity he had at the time, there were some things Steven did and said that triggered Spinel, which led her to act out in the toxic ways that she did. I would argue that most of what Spinel did throughout the course of the movie was the result of trauma and not any conscious choice to be toxic. Again, let me reiterate that Spinel’s intentions or lack thereof don’t change the fact that her actions throughout the course of the movie were toxic, but then I have to ask, in the real world... Where does that leave victims of trauma when they are triggered and have had little to no experience with true healing, so they act out in toxic ways, not knowing any better? I don’t think condemnation and alienation is the answer. What is a victim of trauma supposed to do when they act out in toxic ways, don’t realize their actions are toxic, and are alienated from anyone who could become a potential friend and provide support?

Before the events of the movie, Spinel was constantly alienated by Pink Diamond due to her lack of a personality, and later alienated by Steven and Crystal Gems (understandably) for attacking them. Pink Diamond didn’t directly tell Spinel the reason why she left her alone for all those years, leading Spinel to draw her own conclusions out of trauma, that she wasn’t good enough, which she took out on Steven and the others. Therefore Steven unknowingly triggered Spinel by not making his intentions in getting her to remove the injector apparent, and earlier when he told her to wait somewhere.

She reacted out of fear of the same thing happening again, though irrationally, because of being unable to conceive a different scenario in which she wasn’t abandoned due to the similarity of the previous situation when she was traumatized. She didn’t act toxic to Steven in this instance consciously, but out of fear of being hurt again.

Going back and forth between sadness, love, and hate, always wanting more, and feeling betrayed at the slightest sign of a trigger are marks of borderline personality disorder, which lead to confusion, hyperalertness, overprotection, and thus toxic behavior. It can be an endless cycle of grief and hatred that causes one to switch between being overly clingy, acting fake, and getting angry ad infinitum if someone isn’t given the chance to connect with others and be led out of their own toxic behaviors. This is, of course, not only to the detriment of those around the traumatized person, but most of all to their own self, as it keeps victims of trauma from being able to connect with others or understand how to do so.

In the end, when Steven told Spinel to wait and that he would come back, and we, as the audience, are watching Steven reunite with everyone, I could feel Spinel’s eyes on the happy scene, and I felt the same sadness and jealousy many victims of trauma feel, knowing they can’t make the same connections, but not knowing how to get out of their own toxic behavior without another’s help.

Now, I’m more like Steven in my real life.

But I’m writing this analysis because in my past, in my lifetime, as a victim of trauma, I relate most to Spinel. The things I’ve done and said in the past as a result of my experiences weren’t right, and now I understand why people like Steven would stay clear of someone like Spinel and my past self. Yet, my journey and the journeys of so many other victims are a lot less linear than what is portrayed in the Crewniverse’s 82-minute feature film. People’s lack of knowledge about how the symptoms of complex-PTSD and borderline personality disorder manifest are partially the cause.

It isn’t always a conscious choice by a victim to be like their abusers, but the only thing that a victim can imagine themselves doing because that abuser is the only connection of “trust” that they’ve ever had. It messes up victims’ definitions of healthy relationships, of friendship and love in general, warping reality due to the past trauma and fear of being hurt again.

Unfortunately, those who are sympathetic but unknowledgeable about trauma and mental illness try to help, and then end up steering clear for their own good, leaving the victim feeling more alone and stuck in their ways with no other perceived opportunity for connection. The irrationality of Spinel’s actions as she moves between being clingy and distant, from pacifism and violence in the majority of the movie exemplifies this.

My point isn’t that the people who have been sucked into toxic relationships with mentally ill people should be expected to stick by them. But at the same time, I had to unlearn my toxic behavior through my own effort only after being retraumatized by countless people who didn’t know any better, as do many victims of trauma, because people dismiss victims’ toxic actions as a choice that that person makes to focus on their past experiences and refuse to change. In reality, they’ve never been exposed to something different, so they can’t even fathom their situation changing due to an ingrained, trauma-induced fear. No one can live in a vacuum and be expected to change their toxic ways.

Steven Universe: The Movie wraps up Spinel’s story by answering that once the traumatized person has been exposed to other ways of being, they can make the choice to change, but awareness and exposure to other mindsets just isn’t a reality for so many victims. Even Steven, empathetic as he is, made mistakes in trying to connect with Spinel. It wasn’t his fault for not knowing what would trigger her, but this brings me to my main point for writing this analysis: A greater awareness of trauma and its lived manifestations needs to be raised.

PTSD and mental illness in general is so often portrayed as a refusal to look at the now, as a choice of the victim to be caught in the past. The brain doesn’t work like that, though; if your only connections for trust have betrayed you in the past, that’s what you learn will happen again and you stay alert for the slightest warning sign in fear of being hurt again and again. People don’t seem to understand how much a traumatized person’s worldview can be messed up due to their prior unhealthy connection(s) and wave aside their struggles as them consciously choosing to live in the past, but that’s not what Steven Universe: The Movie is trying to say about Spinel as a person overall.

That is why we need to talk about trauma and mental illness in a more sophisticated light. It isn’t as simple as you find someone who helps you heal, but then you consciously choose to be a toxic person if you are triggered, making others justified in leaving you. If your toxic symptoms stop you from being able to make healthy connections to begin with, and you’ve only been exposed to toxic ways of being before then, what more can you do except despair and blame the world for what you’ve endured, emulating the hurt you’ve been taught by the only people/person you trusted?

That is why, while I think Steven was entirely justified in not being Spinel’s friend in the end and that calling Spinel toxic is correct, I think we also need to address the lack of comprehension about complex trauma, which leaves victims of complex trauma feeling like they are so different from others that they are alone in their suffering, in a recursive loop of isolation and unhealthy behaviors.

I’m going to take one last moment to gush about my love for animation and this movie as a whole, specifically in relation to Spinel’s character design. What convinced me yesterday to finally watch Steven Universe: The Movie was the Crewniverse’s choice to animate Spinel in the style of 1930s cartoons. This stylistic choice is crucial when considering how Spinel integrates herself -- or doesn’t -- into the fabric of the movie and the Steven Universe series as a whole.

Her animation style is unlike that of every character up until this point: she’s topsy-turvy, bouncy, unconfined by gravity; her proportions are constantly changing to emphasize specific parts of her body to fit her actions; her limbs have the characteristic of rubber hoses, which make her able to stretch and contort herself in ways that the other characters simply cannot. I couldn’t possibly imagine a more effective subtle way to portray a character’s inherent difference from the established canon of characters.

It shows, more than anything, that Spinel’s childish playfulness and her attitude toward the world as a whole made her so different from the other characters that she doesn’t even know how to interact with them in a genuine, positive way.

Even when Spinel is not acting out due to her trauma -- or, at the end, consciously choosing to take revenge on Steven and the others for hurting her -- she’s unable to connect with others in a genuine way. Sure, this can be explained by her purpose as a toy for Pink Diamond initially so having a personality wasn’t needed, like it wasn’t needed for obedient Pearls and the plethora of other subordinate gems. However, given how starkly different her animation style is from everyone else in the show, think it conveys something about Spinel that can be likened to what Rebecca Sugar called “unsettling,” and a difficult part of her character. How I read this is that Spinel’s attitude makes her difficult to be around. Her mindless goofiness, her inherent difference in the 1930s cartoon style, and her toxic traits are those victims of trauma exhibit when they are searching for connection due to fear of abandonment from lack of a stable connection in the past.

In all, I’m so thankful that a character was portrayed to be unapologetically traumatized, and therefore toxic, in a cartoon for children. Even if that character was portrayed to be an antagonist in most instances, which is definitely the case where victims of trauma become their abusers due to lack of exposure to more positive ways of being, Steven Universe: The Movie also shows victims of trauma that moving past their unhealthy mindset is possible, even if it doesn’t work out with the people you make mistakes with due to not knowing any better.

Constant alienation from exhibiting symptoms of mental illness is a problem many victims face from being unable to change, rather than not choosing to. Due to a lack of consciousness about one’s toxic behavior and lack of knowledge about how to change, making genuine connections with people who will help us learn better ways of being is the only way to promote this change, as Steven did for Spinel. We need to spread awareness about how to approach people who have experienced complex traumas that affect our ability to make genuine healthy connections, while also acknowledging the toxic behavior that can arise from victims, and define the boundaries needed for those who are sympathetic enough to take that first step and offer a helping hand.

Thanks for coming to my TED Talk.

#Steven Universe #Steven Universe: The Movie #SU #Spinel #long post #Nay talks #too much sldjfaslk #god #it's fucking 2AM #what am i doing #why did i spend so much time on this #i don't even really watch this show anymore

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ladyofcreation · 5 years

Text

Abandoned WIP (2018 - Ladyhawke AU)

I’ve decided I want to “declutter” my writing space by pruning WIPs I’m not likely to return to. But I think it would be a shame to just delete them, so I’m sharing the stuff I wrote. I hope they’ll provide some inspiration, or at least that you enjoy them, as incomplete as they are.

This was my second attempt at a fic for the free choice day of AUyeahAugust 2018. With about 1642 words written between two separate scenes, I got a bit further with this one. The premise was a retelling of the 1985 movie Ladyhawke, with Nino as Phillipe, Adrien as Navarre, Marinette as Isabeau, and Fu as Imperius. If you’ve never seen the movie, it’s about an escaped thief getting roped into helping a medieval couple get revenge on the man who cursed them/undo the curse which separates them by forcing her to be a hawk by day, human by night, and him to be human by day, and a wolf by night. I thought it could be nicely adapted to this fandom by changing wolf to cat and hawk to ladybug.

However, I ended up dropping it as I found I wasn’t having much fun just retelling a story, and it was difficult to balance the personalities as shown in the movie with personalities that would keep them recognizable as Miraculous characters as well. The size difference between a hawk and a ladybug also made a rather critical plot event impossible (getting struck by an arrow), and while I attempted to deal with it by changing it to her getting sick instead, it just wasn’t working for me.

Ultimately, I think it’s an AU more suited to renditions of the memorable scenes/lines drawn with Miraculous characters rather than a written adaptation.

------------------------------------------------------

Captain Agreste was a peculiar man.

He wanted something from him, of that much, Nino was certain. No one would help out a fugitive thief who’d gotten himself in a tight spot without getting something out of it in return. But what that was, Nino didn’t know, and Agreste hadn’t said. Nino supposed he’d tell him in due time, so he resigned himself to sit quietly behind the strange man as they rode into the forest. One didn’t have much room to complain after narrowly escaping death at the hands of a squadron of soldiers, after all.

But the peculiarity of the man was hard to ignore. Dressed all in black, he seemed to take amusement with life, and had been quite merry and flashy while brawling with the soldiers. But under this, he seemed to carry a heavy sadness with him, as though troubled by some burden he had no wish to share.

The strangest thing, however, was his reaction when Nino spotted a ladybug on the man’s shoulder. He had moved to brush the beetle off, when Agreste had swiftly caught Nino by the wrist, an impressive maneuver while still maintaining direction on the horse they were riding.

“Don’t,” he said firmly, warning clear in his voice.

Nino listened.

They stopped early in the evening, the sun still high in the sky. The couple that granted them a place to stay for the night didn’t seem like the most savory of people, but sometimes you had to take what you could get.

Night fell as Nino gathered wood for the fire. He got the uncomfortable feeling that someone was watching him, and every noise seemed magnified and threatening in the growing darkness. He hastily tried to return to the barn.

He nearly made it.

There was a flash of motion in the corner of his vision, and Nino turned just in time to see, and barely avoid the swing of the axe, held aloft by the farmer. Nino had been right, certainly not the most savory of people.

The man swung his axe again, but something large and black and snarling leapt out of the darkness, tackling the man as Nino rolled away. He looked up to see the creature with its jaws clamped around the attacker’s neck.

A cat, Nino realized, as he saw the reflective, almost glowing green slitted eyes. The creature was a cat. But not an ordinary cat, not one that kept the mice away from the food. No, this was a big cat, like a jaguar from some exotic jungle – one that had no natural business being here.

In a panic, Nino fled into the barn, calling for Captain Agreste. There was no answer, and when Nino barged into his side of the barn, there was no sign of the man. His panic rising, he grabbed the crossbow and prepared to fire on the beast.

A hand plucked the arrow from the weapon, and Nino jumped, turning.

A woman, and certainly not the one of this farm, met his gaze steadily as she pulled his hands away from the crossbow.

“Don’t,” she said firmly. She turned and headed for the exit.

Nino didn’t know who this woman was, or where she had come from, but he wasn’t about to let her get hurt.

“You can’t go out there,” he said, but she waved off his concern, and began calmly walking out into the woods, against all logic.

“Am I dreaming?” Nino asked, wondering if this was some particularly lucid nightmare.

“You are,” answered the woman. Nino wasn’t sure if he believed her. He looked out into the woods again, and immediately regretted it.

The cat, finished with its prey, approached the woman. She reached out her hand, and began stroking it gently, and it followed her as she continued walking.

That wasn’t normal.

Just what had Nino gotten himself into?

The next day, during a break in their journey through the woods, Nino started rambling about what he had seen to Captain Agreste.

“There was a cat,” he said, “a big black cat, like a panther or a jaguar or something. I mean, it was seriously huge! I could’ve died…but it left me alone.”

Agreste seemed amused, as though he knew something Nino did not. Nino felt a little unsettled by it.

When he mentioned the woman, Agreste sat up, eyes intent on Nino’s, as though he wanted to soak up every word. So Nino told him, told him about the woman with the hair like night and eyes like day. When he had finished, Agreste’s expression had softened into something wistful.

“I’ve waited a long time for such a lady,” he murmured, staring down at the little bug crawling along his clothes.

It was not until the next day that Agreste finally told Nino what he wanted from him. And Nino was not too keen on the idea.

“Oh no, no no no,” he said. “I am not going back there. I escaped from there.”

“That’s exactly why I need your help,” Agreste said. “I need to get into the city to get to the Bishop. You’ve gotten out – you’re the only one who’s ever gotten out – you can get me in.”

Nino felt silly as he approached the ruin, insect cupped in hand. He was certain that whoever lived here would think him insane to request healing for a little ladybug. But Agreste had looked at him with such desperation that Nino felt he had no choice.

Nino called out, over and over, until an old man appeared.

“Hello, young man,” Fu greeted. “What brings you here?”

“I…” Nino said, hesitantly, “Captain Agreste asked me to come to you, with this ladybug he keeps with him. She’s sick and he said that you could heal her.”

Fu’s eyes widened, and he opened up the gates, urging Nino in before the sun, already low in the sky, set any lower. He had Nino set the insect down on a cot, much larger than ought to be necessary for such a little thing, and dismissed him from the room.

Nino was curious now. He had known from the beginning that there was something unusual going on, but this was nagging at his mind. For one, odd man like Captain Agreste to be strangely attached to a ladybug was one thing, but for this old monk to be showing similar concern? That wasn’t, it couldn’t be an ordinary insect. But just what was it, and why was Fu so secretive about it?

So, when Fu left, muttering about ingredients, Nino slipped over and picked the lock, returning to the room. He was not prepared for what he saw.

Lying on the cot, where he’d left the bug, was the woman he’d seen in the night.

Nino felt a jolt of fear run through him. His eyes were telling him something that his brain knew to be impossible, or at least unnatural. There was no doubt that this woman…this woman somehow was the ladybug. But how? Was she a witch? A shapeshifter? A spirit? But she lay there, shaking from fever, and such beings weren’t subject to such earthly illness, were they?

“Adrien…” the woman murmured. It wasn’t hard to guess who she was calling for.

“He’s fine, Captain Agreste is fine,” Nino said. “He told me to take you here.”

“Tell him…tell him he shouldn’t be so reckless…” she said, voice hazy and faint. “And tell him…not to worry about me…I’ll be…fine.”

“I will,” Nino said, because what else could he say? This was something beyond his experience with the world.

“I thought of…a funny joke he’d like…but I can’t…I can’t remember it right now.”

“Don’t…don’t strain yourself,” Nino said hesitantly. “You’re feverish.”

She made some faint noise of agreement, as the door opened behind Nino. Fu looked between the two of them.

“Go. We’ll speak of this later,” he told Nino. Nino was only too happy to oblige.

Was what he had seen even real? No…he knew it was. Somehow he knew it was real, even if it defied anything natural. He’d gotten mixed up in magic, and it was too late to get out now.

In the distance, he heard a yowl, and Nino shivered.

When Fu came to him later, the first thing Nino did was confirm his supicions.

“That cat is Agreste, isn’t it?”

Fu closed his eyes briefly and did not answer.

“What’s your name, young man?”

“Nino Lahiffe.”

“Nino…you have stumbled upon a sad tale. Come, sit.”

Nino did, and Fu continued.

“That woman’s name is Marinette. She came to our city after her parents’ passing. And we were all taken by her charm and kindness…many fell in love with her.”

Nino nodded. He could see it. The woman – Marinette – had quite a presence, and although he’d only met her a few times, she’d already had quite an impact on him.

“The Bishop wanted her for himself. He became obsessed with her, desperate to have her. She, of course, wanted nothing to do with him. She could tell the sort of man he was. And not the least, she already had taken a man as her love – the captain of the guard, Adrien Agreste. They were deeply in love, and a more devoted couple you could not find. But in secret…always in secret, until…”

Nino hung on every word, not wanting to press, but wanting to know all the same. Eventually, Fu sighed.

“I made a terrible mistake, and the Bishop learned of their relationship. Marinette and Adrien tried to escape his wrath, but, as clever as they are, they were powerless against the dark powers of hell that the Bishop called upon in his anger. With it, he cursed them, damning them to this terrible existence – Marinette, a ladybug by day; Adrien, a cat by night.”

#abandoned wip #flagship #fanfiction #nino lahiffe #marinette dupain-cheng #adrien agreste #master fu

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romvnova · 6 years

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Torvi’s Owen Grady Headcanons

Some headcanons I go by/try to keep in mind while writing Owen Grady Collection. I’ll likely add more as I think of them. I wrote half of these at work on my breaks so if it’s a little disjointed/repetitive that’s my excuse and I’m stickin’ with it.

• Was a Navy SEAL - via Chris Pratt’s own headcanon of Owen. A headcanon I can easily get behind. Throughout both films Owen keeps a calm, level head in every situation he’s thrown into in Jurassic World and Fallen Kingdom. He thinks quickly on his feet. He’s not fazed by a whole lot in either film and you can generally tell he’s a man that has seen shit prior to JW. He probably served a tour or two during his time while he was enlisted. I have yet to figure out why he left the SEALS but I’m sure I’ll eventually come up with a reason when I get to that point in the novel.

• Was likely in command of a platoon/squad - Owen thought of himself as the raptor “alpha”. Notably ( aside from the raptor alpha thing ) I feel like Owen being a platoon/squad leader makes the most sense because Owen clearly didn’t like Claire’s need to be in control of him and felt extremely disrespected by it. He regularly dismissed Hoskins’ (who was his boss) commands until he no longer had a choice and was backed into a corner he knew he couldn’t fight his way out of. Owen clearly doesn’t like/appreciate people telling him what to do or asserting their rank/title/power over him and I honestly don’t see him being an inherently recalcitrant person. If he was I seriously doubt he’d have joined the military where they’re all about rank structure and obedience.

• Sole survivor - Owen doesn’t appear to socialize with anyone on the island beyond Barry, Hoskins and Claire. It’s evident through-out the first movie that he kept to himself and his raptors. Even in Fallen Kingdom he had a very small social circle of Claire, Maisie and briefly Zia and Franklin. Admittedly, he’s a bit of a recluse evidenced by his reaction to seeing Claire “what do they want now?”. He clearly wants to be left alone with his raptors; and I’m assuming this isn’t the first time Claire’s been sent to get Owen to do something for Misrani because someone, somewhere knew that they had some sort of history and Owen was more susceptible to saying ‘yes’ to Claire. Not to mention his comments to Claire in the deleted scenes of JW: “other people in your life is messy” & “humans are an overrated species”. He’s disillusioned when it comes to other people. Which makes me err towards a point I’ll make later: he’s seen the worst humanity has to offer. Perhaps he was betrayed by a fellow comrade or perhaps he lost his squad/platoon and thus has isolated himself to avoid the, in his own words, “mess” and the pain that loss leaves in it’s wake.

• Animal Lover - Owen is very outspoken with his protest when Claire calls the Isla Nublar dinosaurs “assets”. He obviously doesn’t agree with exploiting them or making hybrids just to up the “wow” factor. Not to mention watching him soothe the dying Brachiosaurus is proof enough that he sympathizes easily with the animals & cares about them. He had a rifle. He could have put it out of it’s misery but he didn’t. I think that he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Maybe because Claire was there and he didn’t want her to see it ...but I doubt it. Claire doesn’t need his protection and he knows it. She’s been on Isla Nublar much longer than him and no doubt she’s seen her fair share of ACU putting down dinos. I thinking killing the Brachiosaurus would have been crossing a line he doesn’t want to cross (maybe for a second time) and so he soothes it as best he can until it finally dies.

• So why’d he take the InGen Job? - Not because of the money. Owen doesn’t strike me as a man that’s greedy. He lived in a bungalow/Airstream RV even on an technologically advanced Island where I’m sure, if he’d have asked for it, could have gotten a fancy suite like Claire no doubt had. Owen took the job with InGen because even though he doesn’t agree with weaponizing the dinosaurs the best case scenario: it doesn’t work out vs. worst case scenario: it does work but without him the raptors won’t cooperate, etc, therefore InGen couldn’t just eliminate him when he stood in their way. He was one half of a key to “controlling” the raptors and without him the other half of the key ( Blue ) wasn’t going to cooperate. She’d sooner eat Hoskins than listen to anything he tried to tell her. This conclusion took me a while to get to. I struggled to understand for a while why someone who is very vocal about not using the raptors as war machines would willingly take on a job where he was training and researching to see if Raptors could follow human commands. He obviously knew Hoskins’ and by proxy InGen’s plan for his raptors all along. They needed specific things from him and in order to get the results InGen wanted they realistically couldn’t have left Owen in the dark. Not to mention, there was no ounce of surprise from Owen when Hoskins first enters the film. Clearly, Owen’s been dealing with and brushing him off for quite some time. Owen’s one step ahead in the game, though. He knew if he didn’t take the job then someone else who would monopolize and weaponize the raptors would’ve taken it in his stead and he couldn’t let that happen. For the sake of the animals.

• Raptors + Coping Mechanism - It probably wasn’t intentional at first: as I said previously, Owen likely considered the best and worst case scenario if he said yes vs. no and decided it might as well be him because ...what else does he have? I feel like the raptors quickly became his coping mechanism to deal with PTSD. Owen’s past is shrouded in a lot of mystery, especially his time as a SEAL because he can’t talk about it and the films never divulged into it. It really wasn’t relative information at the time. We knew what we needed to know about Owen. I imagine he saw a lot of terrible shit during his time with the Navy and training/researching the raptors proved as an escape for him. Kept him busy. They gave him a purpose. He had to look out for them. They challenged him and he had to learn how to adapt to the pack’s dynamic and where his place among them was thus not allowing his mind to ever wander too far. One misstep and he was raptor lunch. Not to say they were strictly coping mechanisms; it was obvious he was attached to them from the get go ...probably since the moment they hatched ( though we all know he’s attached to Blue in particular ).

• Not a People Person + Claire - Claire says she likes people. She’s clearly a people person. Owen isn’t. Not really. Except he’s undoubtedly charismatic, brave, stalwart, altruistic and people take to him right away. Owen’s a protector and it’s gravitational. They like and admire him. Gray, Zach, Zia, Franklin and Maisie are all proof of that. Owen? He tends to isolate himself from people except those in his circle ...and going off the belief that he was a SEAL I feel like he’s seen some of the worst humanity has to offer and it affects his willingness to be around other people in general.

Owen’s social circle gradually grows with each movie and I feel like that’s definitely Claire’s influence on him. Bryce said in an interview that Owen makes Claire a better person and I fully believe that goes the other way too. Claire helps him see the good in the world. They need each other and they’re one another’s support system ...even if they don’t always see eye to eye and get along ( but honestly what married couple does? ).

#owen grady collection #owen grady #jurassic world #jurassic world fallen kingdom #jw #jwfk #headcanon #welcome to jurassic queue #claire dearing #jw: blue #blue the raptor

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thequeenofcreole · 3 years

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|《 A Dream of Fire: Chapter 6 - Angels and Demons 》|

I close my eyes for a moment, inhaling the thick air around me. I can’t go in there unprotected or under the protection of these witches. I have no idea what I’m getting myself into and I don’t trust these witches to protect themselves let alone me. I would end up being the one doing the protecting. So, I press my palms together, chanting softly under my breath. My skin tingles with the power I summon. An impenetrable protective barrier unseen to the naked eye. But I can feel it. It curves around my body like a knifes sheath. When I open my eyes, I see that the male witch and Talia are looking at me. I can’t tell if it’s fear I see in their eyes or if it’s anticipation. Either way, I say nothing and let them wonder.

We finally reach the club and I can hear the bass before we even get out of the car. The valet attendant opens the door for Talia and then me and, as I look around the French Quarter, it’s unrecognizable. Where there was once a bustling city, the streets are littered with people of all sorts which is what I’m used to. Some unkempt and others looking like they belong in the 11th ward sipping on cappuccinos. What surprises me is that I can feel that they’re different. All of them. But I have no idea what the hell they are. I’ve never felt the characteristics of the energy that surrounds me. Suddenly I’m glad for my protection spell. The buildings are broken. Desolate. Ruined. It almost brings tears to my eyes. It makes me miss home.

I’m escorted into the club by the male witch, his hand on my lower back making me more uncomfortable than I’d like to admit. I don’t know if it’s an attempt at a gesture of good faith or one of warning but if we weren’t surrounded by beings I can’t identify, his arm would be broken by now. The look I give him as I pull off my decorative sunglasses is all the warning he needs to pull his hand away and take a step back. I can’t have these people getting too comfortable. They fucked up before and I’ll never forget that. I’ll catch them slipping before they ever catch me in a vulnerable situation ever again.

As we walk in, the club is dark. This isn’t the type of club that you would find in |my| city. This place looks straight like something out of a movie. Dark, people dancing in shiny leather and lace. All black for some. All white for others. My eyes search the room, finding a group of beings all dressed in white suits. Their skin is pale and their hair is white. One of them catches my eye and his eyes glow a subtle hint of white. I’ve only ever seen eyes like that once. One of Lex’s friends. I saw his eyes change for just a moment, but it looked exactly like the ones I’m looking into now. The memory brings more questions to my mind than answers.

My eyes shift to another group that’s surrounding a pool table. Dressed all in black suits. The opposite of the group before. They’re all savagely ripping and clawing at something laying on the table and it takes me a minute to realize that it’s a human thrashing and fighting against their assault. I instinctively move toward them but Talia grabs my arm to stop me. The sudden movement causes my protection spell to activate and she hisses as she pulls her hand away. One of them must feel me looking their way because he turns around to look at me. His eyes glow just like the others and he grins at me, his lips bloodied as he licks them slowly. He’s testing me. Measuring my resolve. Seeing if he can scare me. His body turns toward me and out of what seems like nowhere, a full set of black wings slowly span to their full length and a soft hiss leaves his lips. It takes me back because it’s beautifully terrifying. But, somehow, my gaze doesn’t break his as I pass. I can almost hear the loud laugh he emits over the loud music before he turns back to his meal, his wings sheathing back to their original position hidden beneath his clothes.

“They’re Aeges. At least that’s what we call them. They’re different on every plane. Some call them Gods. Some call them Angels. They’re an ancient species. Only we supes can see them in their true form. Humans will die instantly if they ever witness their true forms. It’s too much for them to handle.” Talia whispers to me as we pass.

I look at her quickly, amazement in my eyes and maybe a hint of terror. Angels? I almost can’t process it. So, I push it to the back of my mind to process later when my life isn’t in imminent danger.

From my left I suddenly hear a cloud of whispers in my ear. I gasp softly and turn to see a hooded figure in the corner. He’s sitting by himself, smoking a cigar. I can’t see his face, but I see a hint of white hair and black eyes as the light of his cigar illuminates his face ever so slightly. My heart…. palpitates. Like it’s trying to jump out of my chest toward him or warn me against him. As long as my eyes stay on him, I can hear the whispers in my head. I can’t look away from him. That is, until Talia pulls back a black lace curtain for us to pass through.

It’s unmistakable which one of the people in the the large VIP area are the Seer. Different beings surround her, and I can tell that she doesn’t just dabble in the magic of witches. She reigns and revels in magic of all sorts.

She looks feral. Nothing like the beings in this club that sport leather and lace. She wears a brown dress that fits loosely around her small frame and a floor length jacket with leather and fur accents. There’s a crown on her head that looks like it was handmade with fur trimmings. The two witches that are by her side, knelt down, look between her and I intently, waiting for any need to protect their Queen. They worship her. It’s clear. Her eyes are cloudy like she’s blind, but she looks directly at me the moment I step in her presence.

Talia and her group of witches kneel down and bow to her. I stay upright.

“So this is she.” She stands upright from her throne and walks down the few steps that lead to her seat, her feet bare as they gracefully pad across the fur carpet and toward me. “The Queen.” I stand my ground as she approaches me and when she mocks a curtsy in my direction, my jaw clenches tight. She stands upright and leans forward, inhaling deeply, before she tilts her head to the side as if she’s…. tasting. Savoring my scent.

“You’re not afraid. Good. You shouldn’t be.” She grins up at me, her grey, cloudy eyes meeting mine. “You have quite a journey ahead of you, Creole Queen. I’ve seen it all.”

I can see from the corner of my eye that Talia and the male witch look at each other and I do my best not to scoff quietly. I’m here to listen because I didn’t have a choice in the matter. Not because I believe any of this bullshit.

“You got the wrong one. I’m not her. I cain’t be.”

As I look into her eyes, I can almost see the reflection of images in her white iris’. Like she’s having visions even as we speak. She smirks at me before turning to move back toward her throne.

“So you don’t believe? That you could hold that much power or that you want so desperately to go home to your family that you don’t |want| it to be true?”

She sits down, the witches on either side of her straightening her dress until she waves her hand for them to stop. At the mention of my family, my jaw clenches and I have to force back the guttural snarl that threatens to leave my lips.

“This woman…. She’s not the one.”

I almost can’t believe the words that leave her lips as she says them. Talia and her partner look at each other and I can tell that the energy has shifted. Relief washes over me and I feel like I can breathe again. Fuck. I can go home. I can fucking go home.

“Don’t mistake me, Deréon Devereaux. We will see each other again. Sooner than you think….”

She grins at me and leans back in her seat before dismissing us with a wave of her hand. “Leave now. You have what you need, Talia LaBlanc.” Talia doesn’t move at first, but I’m the first to push past her band of goons and push past the lace curtain. My heart is racing as I leave the club. The witches that accompanied me either don’t follow me or linger too far behind to keep up with my eager feet. I’m no longer of any help to them so they’re in no hurry to keep me restrained.

When I get outside, I feel like I can breathe. Like my body is no longer under attack. Like I can accept the very real possibility of going home. To my babies. I walk down the sidewalk a ways and reach my hand to softly touch the side of a brick building to steady myself. The rush of adrenaline is slowly starting to wear off and I feel a little light headed from the excitement.

I close my eyes for a moment to concentrate on steadying my breathing when I feel a wisp of wind push my curls against my cheek. When I open my eyes again, the man that Talia said was an Aege…. the man with blood on his lips, stands in front of me. The familiar grin on his lips as he looks me up and down.

The energy shift around me makes me, for the first time, worried. What have I gotten myself into?

#LaReineDuCreole

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rantingchoices · 6 years

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Racism in fandom

I’ve had this is my drafts for a long time now. This is something I’ve been really dragging my feet on posting because honestly real life is absolute shit when it comes to this and I come on tumblr/fandom/stories/media to escape for a little while, but since it appears we are at that moment I feel it’s important for me to say.

A little on my background. I’m a WOC, Latina specifically and as some know there is a lot of racism in our community. From what I’ve read this is a problem in a lot of minority communities too so I grew up in a systematically racist society and thrown on that was stuff from my own community. Now this wasn’t racism on the level of violence or slurs. It was more subtle, but intensely embedded into our life.

I remember as a child being jealous of my best friend because her skin was white and mine was brown. I remember wearing sweaters in the summer so I wouldn’t get darker. I remember scrubbing at my skin raw in the shower and crying. All of these things before I was 10 years old. Two years ago during a Christmas trip my grandmother told me I wasn’t as pretty as my sister only because she was lighter than me. It was not said with any ill intention, simply as a fact.

Now I don't assume people are racist. If I go on someone's profile and see they have all white LI's I don't automatically think they are racist. Do I have a passing thought? Does it make me uncomfortable? Given the state of the the usa at the moment, given what I’ve seen in fandom in my over a decade of being in it, and given that I’ve seen slurs being thrown at Sean three times specifically in this fandom now, sometimes it does. I think there was a post that conveyed it well and it got some pushback, but honestly yes that is my reaction sometimes when I see a profile with all white LI's. An uncomfortable laugh because is this person the type that makes me uncomfortable in my day to day life? Is this the anon who was sending slurs?

However, would I ever send hate based on this one thought? Of course NOT. I will never support anon hate and in any case I feel those who send it are mostly trolls trying to stir up things.

I don’t want people to feel bad for stanning their love interest whoever that may be, they shouldn’t. When people make these posts I think a lot of the time they are trying to find solidarity, not in tearing people down, but in recognizing that there is a greater problem in media/society. EDIT: As I said before this has been in my drafts for a while and since writing it, I have seen people take things too far. I do not support a white liam hate blog, even though I feel general character hate blogs are fine(I wouldn’t do them, but that’s what block is for) that one is going too far in my opinion.

I’m not white, but I am privileged in another way. I am straight. Tumblr makes a lot of jokes about “straights”, “Heteros” and more things like “The Straights are at it again” when something problematic happens in a show usually. In fact I saw a post that has been going around a lot something like ‘gay culture is head canons of characters you don’t like as straight’. I’m not saying it can’t sting for a second, but then I take a step back and think about the world we live in and I don’t take offense to any of it.

I have never felt attacked or shamed for being straight despite seeing more of these posts than I can count, because I KNOW they aren’t attacking me or my sexuality. They are against a society that has and continues to dismiss and ridicule and take away their basic human rights. They feel a solidarity in these posts in one of the few places that allows it. I have no problem supporting that because I know straight people-I know I hold a privilege in everyday life they do not. I do not have to worry if I want to hold my boyfriend’s hand in public, I don’t have to think if it’s safe enough to kiss him. I do not have to live in a world where people assume my sexuality wrong and who might not even listen if I correct them. I am not hated for my sexuality. I cannot understand these struggles. All I can do is try to understand as best I can, learn, listen, and offer my support.

Now I have always considered myself liberal so of course I thought since I was liberal and a minority I couldn’t behave racist. I have always supported and voted for equality. Of course I never thought anything bad against any race, but one day years ago my friend asked me an innocent question. Why did I never have any crushes on black men? I always considered it a preference of mine, for the most part I liked white men. There were many things I told myself. I harbored no ill will towards any race being the prominent one and I believed in equality. Still it bugged me in the back of my mind. Her question remained.

I made a conscious choice to analyze myself whenever I found myself in a situation. Why was I making the choices I was? I read and informed myself about the issues facing black Americans and minorities in general. It wasn’t as easy as I was suddenly not behaving racist, it was gradual, it’s not something you can force overnight. It honestly felt like I had been blindfolded and was finally starting to see for the first time. That pale skin that was always so lovingly described in the novels I read, the movies that propped up even the most basic white man as idealized.

I'm not saying white people aren't attractive or don't deserve to be stanned(I mean I stan Chris Evans myself soo), but I wasn't, media wasn't-isn’t, being fair to POC. Society is definitely a beast of a force and so many people aren’t even aware enough to ask the question. Because racism is embed into society we have to actively fight against it. It doesn’t make you a bad person by itself, but you have to recognize it.

I give a lot of benefit to people because Choices is a liberal game, so I assume if you like to play it you're already baseline a decent person? If every single one of your love interests are white I don't assume you are racist, but if I don't know you then it might make me uncomfortable. Again I'm NOT going to send you any hate, because that is never an option.

I actually DO think it's possible that it just so happened to line up perfectly that all the men that impressed you happened to be white, that it didn't have anything to do with racism. That you would stan them even if they were brown or black. I think it's possible, but do I think that it's possible for as many times as I've seen it in this fandom? Honestly no I don't, again though I'm not going to assume it's you who is racist. I have more things to worry about in real life and I don't need that added burden. I do think it's an important and personal question to ask yourself though. In the privacy of your own thoughts with no judgement. I've been through it and I'm grateful that my friend asked me.

So now I ask you, why don’t you find men from another race as attractive? Do you lean towards white men? And for the ones you do like do you gush or provide as much excitement as those who are white? I don't want anyone to take this as an attack or trying to shame you or saying you have to be 50/50 or something weird like that. This goes beyond Choices. If you truly aren't then there is nothing to feel bad about and I’m sorry if I did that. It's definitely not my intention. I just want to ask the question like someone did for me many years ago. I can’t know if you are racist in this subtle way, only you can truly know the answer and if it makes you uncomfortable maybe it’s time to take a closer look.

#playchoices #play choices #choices stories you play #endless summer #tw racism #fandom racism #internalized racism #a warning if you are going to use slurs I will block you #you can block anons too so that won't save you #also reverse racism doesn't exist please stop #what you're looking for is prejudice #people can be prejudice against white people but they can't be racist

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forthestarprinces · 7 years

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When you have time can you do gods defending /comforting mc from her strict parents when they made her cry? Take your time , I just love protective gods.

Leon: “You’re going to go nowhere in life!” shouts your father, his face flushing. He had been screaming at you for fifteen minutes without a break, and your grip on Leon was the only thing keeping the God of Leo from vaporizing your parents.

“Honestly,” your mother agrees. “We wanted you to be a doctor, and yet here you are, working at a planetarium as a measly employee.”

You bite your lip so hard blood began to drip. Leon’s eyes darkened at the sight. And then the tears came, and Leon was done with playing helpless boyfriend. He had made it this far for you – brought flowers for your parents’ house, been polite throughout dinner, and even made small talk. But the second he saw the tears that had been collecting in your eyes he automatically knew it was time to leave.

“Oh-ho,” he says softly, yet with such an icy tone it was impossible to dismiss his words. He turned to you and whipped the tears from your cheeks and then turned to your parents. “You’re lucky I put up with your words for as long as I did.”

“Excuse me?” your father roared at the God.

“Even if you are her parents, she deserves better than the two of you. To sit here ideally while my goddess is demeaned time and time again is not who I am, though I followed her orders to act normal. But I see I can no longer do that, as you caused her to cry her precious tears. You’re lucky I didn’t wipe the two of you out on the spot.”

He grabs on to you and snaps his fingers before the two of them could even say another word to you.

Scorpio: Despite your pleading and tears, Scorpio did not back down from a fight with your father.

“Who the fuck do you think you are, you piece of shit goldfish?” Scorpio bellows, his aura all-encompassing. You were tight against his chest, hiding your tears as your father continued to hurl insult after insult at you. Scorpio was going to kill your father.

“Scorpio, please,” you beg, sobbing.

“No one talks about my woman like that,” he continues to scream at your father. “No one! If she’s so much of a disappointment to you then you’ll be glad to know I’m never gonna let you fucking see her again. She’s mine and you’re a worthless father.”

To hear someone stand up to your father for the very first time brings a small smile to your face. Now, you have to figure out how to get Scorpio to leave without killing your father.

Teorus: He knew about shitty parents, having never known his mother and with an absent father who was always surrounded by different women. The second your parents raise their voices at you over a story you had told them, Teorus stops time.

“Do you want to leave?” he asks you, sliding his gaze from your open-mouthed parents who were no doubt going to continue to grill you when time resumed. You meet his gaze and see his serious expression. There was no smile on your prince’s lips, no rosiness to his cheeks from laughing or grinning.

You look at the frozen forms of your parents and bite your lip before turning back.

“Please,” you whisper in a small voice. He grabs your hand, and snaps his fingers.

He treats you to ice cream and milk and any dairy product you want, because that’s what always made him better. He puts on one of your favorite movies and settles you down in his bed, tucking you in before joining you. The whole night he stays up, wondering how people can be so cruel to you.

Dui: He knew what it was like to have people be disappointed in you. So he automatically grabs onto your hand and gives it a squeeze. His Shadow self was begging him to start a fight with your parents, yet he withheld the desire.

“You’re perfect, and you mean the world to me,” he tells you, meeting your gaze. “Regardless of whatever anyone thinks I love you so much.” He turns to your parents. “Sir, ma’am, with all due respect I have to disagree. (Y/n) has accomplished so much and I apologize but I will not stand here and watch you insult her.”

Huedhaut: Huedhaut’s tight-lipped smile had a cold aura about it. His eyes narrow as he listens to the comments your mother made about your level of education.

“Actually,” he cuts in. “(Y/n) is highly intelligent. I would not have fallen for her otherwise. It is true she is foolish with some of her choices, but she always work with her heart. Please do not diminish her efforts.”

Ichthys: He is frowning the whole dinner, and when your mom offers dessert, Ichthys grabs your hand. “Actually, we have to leave,” he laughs. “I can’t listen to people speak badly about my girl, ya know? Even if she is their daughter.”

He pulls you out of the house and once the two of you are at the driveway he snaps his fingers. You look at him in horror and can see the pie your mother was slicing up fly into her face, coating it in cream.

You couldn’t help but laugh all the way back to your apartment.

Karno: He would automatically be on the offense, counterattacking every comment your parents’ with a positive one of the same magnitude. He would stroke your palm with his thumb, sending you secret smiles. Your resolve strengthened with every comment and you manage to reply to the harsh questions your parents asked. Usually you remained silent at their prodding, but with Karno beside you, there was nothing you couldn’t do.

“Um, thank you,” you stutter later when the two of you are back in his room, laying on his bed. He grins at you in the same way he always does – teeth and all, goofily and kindly.

“It’s not a problem. Never when it comes to standing up for you. It’s something I should do always.”

Zyglavis: “It just seems awfully selfish that you can’t comply by our wishes,” says your father, pulling your mother closer. She nods in agreement.

“How ridiculous,” Zyglavis says, his brow furrowing in anger. You open your mouth, but he places his hand on your shoulder and then steps in front of you. “Your daughter is the most selfless human on this planet. The pure audacity you have to even say she only cares for herself is baffling. The tears she cries for others is the purest thing anyone could ever set their eyes upon, not that I would let them. Her tears are mine, which is why we are leaving – because you don’t deserve to see them.”

Zyglavis gently grabs you by your waist and guides you out of the house before they can argue. He kisses you on the lips and snaps his fingers, fully intent on getting you as far away from your parents as possible.

Aigonorus: He had almost fell asleep on your family’s couch after dinner until he was brought to by the words of your parents. “Maybe if you did better at your job you could get a promotion.”

He snaps his head up, and grabs you. He sends one final glare at your parents and snaps his fingers, transferring the two of you to his room. He sees your tears and guides you to his bed. He sits in front of you on the ground and wipes across your tear tracks, not quite moving away the drops but just tracing their path.

“They’re so unfair,” you sniffle.

“They’re so unfair,” he echoes softly, nodding in agreement. You let out a whimper and wrap your arms around him. He returns the favor, and then flips over so he’s on the bed too. He rolls the two of you around, lightly tickling your sides until you start laughing. Finally, the two of you end up on your sides facing each other.

“Thank you,” you whisper sleepily, the situation seeming to have eaten away at your energy.

“Any time,” he hums, yawning.

The two of you tangle together and fall asleep, your parents comments seeming to be a bad dream.

Krioff: He knows about strained relationships with parents, believe it. So he stays silent and lets you deal with things in your own way, the same way you did with him. He knew that other people getting added into the mix could make the arguments worse. Besides, he was sure if he stepped in there would be no stopping him from completely going off.

He withdrew from the room at the look of embarrassment you have when your parents began scolding you in front of him. He could only imagine how undignified you felt, and disrespected. You must feel like a child, getting yelled at for sticking your hand in the cookie jar.

He reappears when he hears the harsh tones fade as another topic is brought up for discussion. He sits down next to you, looking over your face before deciding not to worry about it too much at the time. If it had gotten worse, he definitely would’ve stepped in. No one talked about his beloved stupid woman like that.

Later, when you burst into tears the second the two of you get back into your apartment. Krioff is shaken to the core as you sob, falling face first on the bed. In that moment, he felt deep hatred sink into his bones.

“I’ll destroy them,” he says, tugging on his glove. “And make sure no one can ever make you cry again.”

You turn over and actually laugh. He’s puzzled, but glad he made you smile instead. You pull him to you, and although he blushes, he goes along with it.

“No, they’re just super strict. They do it because they love me.”

“Parents shouldn’t make you cry,” he retorts. He was still fully livid. He regrets he didn’t protect you in the moment.

“No, they shouldn’t,” you agree, bringing your hand to his face. You trace his sharp cheekbones. “Thank you for leaving earlier. You were completely right in doing so. I really didn’t want you to see that, but it made me safe to know you were still there and ready to stand up for me if it got worse.”

“I’ll always be there to protect you,” he says softly.

Tauxolouve: “So, Tauxolouve,” your mother says, arching an eyebrow at the handsome man. “Are you French? Your name sounds foreign.”

“Yes, but I’m mixed,” he says with a laugh. You were sitting next to him, practically biting your nails despite being in a high-class restaurant. Your mother sat across the two of you, every one of her movements refined. You already knew your mother might not like him, as she was high-class and wanted you to date one of her business partner’s sons.

“Hmm,” she says disinterestedly. She looks between the two of you, sipping champagne. You flinch under her gaze. “And what’s your job, again?”

“I work in a department for the Make a Wish Foundation,” he replies suavely with a smile. You almost choke on your own spit before taking a sip of your drink. You shoot him a look and then look between your mother and him. It was like being at a tennis match. Despite how mature and handsome he was, it was if your mother was blind to his charms.

“Really,” she says in a way that makes it clear it wasn’t a question, but more of a critique. She taps her finger on the table before leaning forward. “Now, let’s get this clear. I’m sure you’ve guessed it, but with all due respect, you’re too attractive to be with my daughter. What’s your deal?”

Both you and Lou were shocked. Your mouth drops open. Lou’s eyes almost shoot out of his head. “Let’s be realistic,” she continues, leaning back in her chair. “My daughter ignores all fashion and is clumsy. She doesn’t have social charm, she’s not very…charismatic. And she’s dating a man like you? Tell me, why are you raising her hopes when she could be fine with a simple man from a corporate environment? I have many…normal looking young men lined up. So I think it would be much better to nip the problem in the bud and give her back to me to deal with.”

It was the cruelest thing your mother had ever said to your face. You let out a choked noise and cover your mouth with your hands, squeezing your eyes shut. Everything that she said had been true – Lou was too attractive and otherworldly for you, and yet you finally managed to be with a man as magnificent as him. Your mother was calling you mediocre.

You were shocked when Lou stands up, sending his chair flying back. “Excuse me?” he asks your mother in disbelief. You open your eyes and watch the scene through watery eyes. His face was contorted with rage. “What did you just say about my goddess?”

“Goddess?” your mother crows. “The girl can’t even hold a decent job. She’s lucky she was born into this family and was blessed with countless opportunities to better herself. But the very fact is is that she is plain. She does not have anything outstanding about her.”

Lou lets out a humorless route. “The only ugly one here is you. Your daughter is ethereal, is completely heavenly. There is not a single plain bone in her body. How can you not see what you are missing out on? Why, she’s gorgeous enough that I feel like I have to never let her outside because every time we leave men only focus on her. From the tips of her hair to the tips of her toes, she’s the only one for me. She is not simple in comparison. She is so much more. It’s a shame you can’t see how much better she is compared to anyone, compared to you. We’ll be leaving now.”

He quickly picks you up bridal style. You let out a squeal of surprise, but he kisses your forehead and marches straight out of the restaurant, leaving your dumbfounded mother behind.

Partheno: You had offered to drop your father off lunch on his break from his job as a surgeon at a prestigious hospital. Partheno was spending the day with you, and he followed you. You were nervous for your boyfriend to meet him, as your father was a stern man.

“Hi, we’re here to meet Dr. (Last Name),” you say to the woman in the front. She directs you to your father’s office. You knock on the door and send Partheno one last nervous glance.

He opens the door, and simply looks over the two of you without saying a word. You bite your lip. “Hi, Dad,” you say.

“Hello,” he says flatly. He’s drilling his gaze into Partheno. “Please, come in.” The two of you sit down at the chairs across from your father’s desk. He sits in his chair on the other side, and unpacks his lunch. You watch anxiously, hoping you got his order right. He takes a look at the sandwich and frowns. “I thought I ordered a ham, not a honey-glazed turkey.”

“I,” you say in a mousy voice. “I-I’m sorry. I called Mom and she said that’s what you want…She said that’s what you eat.”

“It’s not about what your mother says,” he snaps, his personality doing a 180. “It’s about orders. You never follow orders. You can’t do the simplest thing in the world. You can’t even relay an order correctly. Jesus, medical school would have been wasted on you. I’m so glad you got a job at that brainless planetarium instead. I never knew I would have a daughter with such a low IQ.”

Tears spring into your eyes. You felt the air get really cold all of the sudden. You look at Partheno slowly, and see his expression contorting. That’s the expression when he was in his demon form… You suddenly realize. Your blood runs cold.

“How dare you say that to her?” he hisses at your father, slowly rising. A crazed look enter the pink-haired man’s eyes. “You’re absolutely useless and thoughtless. The very fact you said that to her makes me want to kill you right now. You’re lucky she’s here, old man. However, you will get punished.” You cling onto his arm, trying to ground him when he waves his hand and flings your father against a wall, knocking over books from the shelf. Your father passes out from the force, and Partheno walks over to loom over his form.

“Partheno, no!” you shout, racing over and tugging him to face you. He sends one last hateful glance at the man you shared DNA with. “Please,” you beg. “Let’s just go, okay?”

He agrees. But if anything ever happened again, he was sure worse would happen to your father.

#scm headcanon #scm headcanons #scm fanfic #scm #star crossed myth #my writing

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thunderbirdlovelove-blog · 7 years

Text

Rising Above & Letting Go of 3D Static

Humor me, will you? I’m a firm believer in ‘Anything is Possible.’ I look at the world a lot differently than a lot of people I know.

I have a theory I want to share. I’m fully aware that I’m sometimes right on, & sometimes way off. I’m still learning & will forever be a ‘Student of the Universe!’ This blog began as a Facebook comment, but as the words poured out of me, I realized I had way more to say on the subject.

Please note my intention – it is not to upset anyone, nor to say one way is right & the other wrong. There is no right way to spiritually evolve. We’re all on similar but distinct to the individual spiritual journeys. If anyone tells you there is only one way, they’re full of shit. All I know is what worked for me & I share my lessons & my life in the hopes it will help even just one other suffering soul. My intention is to offer you a different perspective – a ‘What if..’

Maybe I’ll help you release yourself from what weighs you down – specifically all the concern, frustration, anger & fighting, since the election, re the election. I feel that heavy load of low vibrating negativity in the Conscious Collective. And I’m calling it the ‘Circling the drain.’

I want you to be happy, to be free, to live in a constant state of joy.

It IS possible.

I feel so compelled to help others, I see SO MANY PEOPLE SUFFERING NEEDLESSLY ! It doesn’t have to be that way! People learn from their experiences, yes, but I’m convinced that after I went through all that crap & came out the other side shining, that I must be destined to help humanity. I’ve seen a better world. It is possible. And it is coming. How fast it gets here depends on each one of us. Yes, I’ve been called crazy, but I don’t mind.

‘They’ say there’s a fine line between genius & insanity – you can’t keep digging down the rabbit hole without losing a couple of marbles along the way!

Perhaps I’m just a little bit insane 😍 Yes, I’m still figuring it all out.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING TO ME AT THIS POINT IN MY JOURNEY, IS TO SUCCESSFULLY CONVEY HOW I GOT TO THIS PLACE OF TOTAL JOY, TOTAL FREEDOM, TOTAL BLISS IN MY LIFE.

I know what I know cuz of what I’ve seen, felt & experienced. I KNOW we’re not alone in the Universe. I KNOW the world is one big illusion. I can’t really prove it to you though. That’s not how it works. All I can do is tell you there is a door. You have to decide to see if it’s there & go through it. But I never underestimate the power of planting a seed.

Once you ‘get it’, the simplicity of it all is mind-blowing. But you don’t get it – til you get it. Trying to explain it winds up sounding like explaining Calculus in German to a 3-year-old from Uruguay. A more than slight exaggeration – I think you get my point 😊 You have to come to the realization of the life lessons through YOUR experiences. (Think of anything your parents told you when you were a teenager. “Don’t drive if you’ve been drinking.” I can almost hear the collective dismissive ‘Yeah, Yeah’s.’ Cuz it can’t happen to them. But when it does, that is the thing that will teach them the lesson – the Experience.) Even knowing this, the energy that roars inside me will never stop planting the seeds.

I’m confident in my abilities to motivate & inspire. I’ve never been more certain of anything in my entire life – this is my purpose. This is my mission. One thing I don’t lack is passion. There is ALWAYS a positive side. It’s up to you to find it. Can’t find it? CREATE IT!! Reality doesn’t exist until you create it. Every second of every minute of every hour of every day you are making choices. A lot of people don’t realize this. And it kills me. The choice is yours in every moment, what can I do to make you realize the tremendous power you hold, IN EVERY MOMENT?!

This is the pic that made all of this pour out of me. He is upset at the ‘out-of-touch celebs’ wanting to overturn the election. And I couldn’t agree more.

My comment began as a ‘slight diss’ to those who were commenting. Rather than discuss the content/subject of his quote – it went right over their heads – they instead choose to dismiss him because he too is an actor. I scrolled down & scanned the many comments, hoping to find someone who agreed or disagreed with the quote & why. But all I saw were a bunch of people who obviously need to take a step back cuz they just don’t see the big picture.

“Chuck Woolery, an actor?! Next you’re gonna tell me Crocs are the nicest shoes ever? Chuck Woolery has a total 11 movie credits on IMDB since 1972. That’s 45 years. He has only 2 credits since 2000. And I’ve hardly heard of any. I haven’t heard his name in eons!! I have a distant memory of him hosting a game show back in the 70’s or 80’s. I would hardly call him a celebrity. On a celebrity scale from say Bobcat Goldthwait or PeeWee Herman to Will Smith or Brad Pitt, he wouldn’t qualify to be their gofer’s gofer in the superficial bubble of Hollywood’s Fantasyland. With that said, I think he’s totally on point – I think he made a very accurate assessment. Watching people get all upset over who the president is is exhausting. Not to mention a complete waste of time. Unless of course, you enjoy being a Pawn in their Game. Hey, it’s your life..”

(At first I thought Hillary Clinton would have been the lesser of the two evils – then I thought maybe he was. Then I realized I was having a 3D thought & realized it is completely & totally irrelevant. Just a face, just a puppet. Even if the persona we saw on TV was the real deal, Trump’s gonna be in for quite the shock when he realizes how little power he actually has.) I wouldn’t give a flying fuck if they elected SpongeBob Squarepants. Who they parade around is nothing more than a mascot. To distract you from questioning & realizing what is really going on.)

Let’s talk hypothetically. Let’s say Donald Trump is playing a part. A part in a crazy over-the-top drama slash action slash mystery slash thriller show. He plays an outrageous character – so outrageously wrong for the part – jaw-droppingly shocking, that it drives viewers crazy.

But that’s what ‘shows’ do – they try to shock, elicit a reaction. Cliffhangers, scandals, killing off main characters – whatever they can to get people talking. They do their best to cause so much hoopla for ratings. They lie, they fabricate, they PRETEND. They work in the Illusion Industry. We see it EVERY DAY. Wicked mind-blowing science fiction, alien invasions, UFO’s, violent car crashes with tons of carnage, missiles obliterating whole cities, machine gun frenzy killing sprees able to kill hundreds in no time, Zombie apocalypses, etc, etc etc. We’ve seen it all! There’s not much they can’t do with computers & technology these days. I seriously wouldn’t put anything past them.

YOU THINK IF IT WAS ALL PEACHES & CREAM ANYONE WOULD WATCH? NOPE!

Not a movie. Not a show. And not the election. People would find it boring, the ratings would go down the toilet, & the show gets cancelled. We call that a Lose-lose & that’s not how the corporate greed machine sustains itself.

So why is it, when these people SEEM to leave the ‘Hollywood Arena’ (trust me – some never do), that all of a sudden people believe everything these same people tell them, cuz it’s ‘on the news’ or, ‘Well, he’s in his real life, not on a tv show, so it must be real. It must be true.’

If you think the puppet holds anywhere close to the power of those invisible string pullers behind the scenes, you live in la la land. If you believe every speech, quote & appearance they make must be real if it isn’t in a movie or tv show, you live in la la land. He’s rich, he has a huge ego, and oh look out the cameras are rolling!! It’s not a stretch to think that maybe, maybe, he’s Exaggerating? Ever heard of shock value? It’s in the corporate greed handbook on the very first page: Keep them distracted with nonsense so we can rob them blind & fuck them over. If you still think the government is ‘for the people’, you live in la la land. THIS IS NOT TO PISS YOU OFF – IT’S TO WAKE YOU UP! IT’S TO RELEASE YOU FROM THE INVISIBLE PRISON YOU KEEP YOURSELF IN!

I don’t think I could possibly care any less about the puppet they choose to parade as the leader of the country. It just doesn’t matter.

IT’S FAR FROM A STRETCH TO IMAGINE THAT MAYBE, JUST MAYBE you might be being played. To say no, absolutely not – that would that mean you take what you see on tv & in the news as golden truths ?! Say it isn’t so! A lot of us, including me at the time, kept expecting Candid Camera to jump out of the bushes & say GOTCHA! cuz this couldn’t possibly be real life. It’s Bizarro world! The Twilight Zone! I remember hearing a few people close to me explain to me their take on why this was a good thing. I can remember being secretly outraged – I was shocked that people close to me thought like that – I even wondered, ‘Do I really know these people at all?’ I remember thinking, ‘I just may have to cut these people out of my life!’ It wasn’t til I realized how low energy those thoughts were, & completely subtracted myself from the situation, subject & any concern for the issue & took a big giant quiet step back. ‘Not my circus, not my monkeys.’ It’s just an illusion.

I saw the big picture. I remembered that it’s all just an illusion. Quantum Physics proves that reality doesn’t exist until we measure/observe/create it.

WHAT WOULD YOU ALL BE DOING WITH YOUR TIME & ENERGY IF YOU STOPPED FIGHTING EACH OTHER? The pro-Clinton people? The-pro Trump people? Has it ever occurred to you that THEY DO THIS ON PURPOSE?

HAS IT EVER OCCURRED TO YOU THEY HAVE YOU RIGHT WHERE THEY WANT YOU??

OBLIVIOUS PAWNS. Pawns, being played. I say this to wake you up, not piss you off. I feel that you can’t possibly see the big picture from so close to the project. Take a step back & start vibrating above the petty nonsense.

We the people MUST stop fighting each other. We the people need to realize who the real oppressors are. We the people need to stop giving our money to the big corporations, Big Pharma, and all the other corrupt systems in place. IF WE STOP FEEDING THEM THEY WILL STARVE. We need to put down our guns. Our judgments. Our hate.

Right now they have us right where they want us – busy fighting each other while they callously take all they can for them, without so much as a hint of conscience or principles, leaving less & less for us. All the while convincing us with their soulless ads with subliminal messages subconsciously convincing us to buy what they’re selling, what we really don’t need & we seriously can’t afford. But hey, keep it up – if you don’t mind being fooled. I don’t want people to be fooled anymore. I want humanity to be in a constant state of Peace, Love, Harmony & Unity ☮💖✨

It’s sickening when you see through the bullshit. And it’s also the most freeing & enlightening thing that has ever happened to me!

Lastly, I’m calling out these people – It has to be said that watching people TRAMPLE EACH OTHER TO DEATH on Black Friday for that flatscreen tv that some dude on your tv TOLD YOU TO BUY – has to be one of the most pathetic displays of humanness or lack thereof I have ever seen. Seriously, give your head a shake! Wake Up!

I am so grateful that I am AWAKE.

Do some research!! The info is right at your fingertips every single day. WAKE UP! Don’t you know who really runs things? You’ve heard of corporations, Big Pharma, Monsanto, Trillion dollar families like the Rothschilds & the Rockefellers & the Federal Reserve? Do you have any idea how the world really works?

Do you know what goes on behind the veil? DO YOU KNOW THERE IS A VEIL?

Food for thought! Buen provecho 😎

I know this won’t resonate with everyone. And that’s ok. I have a hard time hiding my impatience for the world to wake up. But for those it does resonate with, I hope it frees you from your self-imposed constraints – that will bring me such an incredible joy that I could not explain.

When I research, what resonates sticks & what doesn’t goes. If something gives you goosebumps, you’re on the right path. That’s a sign from the Universe my friend. My daily intake of info tries & fails to quench my insatiable thirst to know everything there is to know before I go. WHAT A RIDE 😎

Keep what resonates, leave the rest.

Oblivious Pawns Rising Above & Letting Go of 3D Static Humor me, will you? I'm a firm believer in 'Anything is Possible.' I look at the world a lot differently than a lot of people I know.

#Enlightenment #Harmony #Love #Peace #Unity

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