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#He couldn't kill him or save him. He can't hate him or forgive him

lgbtlunaverse · 8 months

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You know sometimes I think about that whole narrative tragedy around Huaisang where to get revenge for his brother on jgy he has to become more and more like jgy and turn into a person that his brother would hate. And yes the scheming and the lying and the making other people do your dirty work so you'll never get caught and have to face consequences for your actions is all very foils. Very tragedy. Love it.

But then I think back to nieyao in the fire palace and how it's not the spy thing Nie Mingjue is mad about, not really. He didn't know about it and changes his mind on trying to kill meng yao when xichen tells him but he's still mad and it's not the spy thing. However many cultivators he killed and tortured under Wen Ruohan's orders because he couldn't lose his cover are a factor but the crux of it? It's those last few. And specifically that Meng Yao had an out. A way for them to survive. And he used it. But only for Nie Mingjue. All the others got killed on the spot but Nie Mingjue got the out, got to live. And maybe (likely) if he'd tried to save the others Nie Mingjue would have needed to die but Nie Mingjue has been ready to die for his sect since he was 14 and if it meant defeating Wen Ruohan he'd be happy to. The fact is that those last deaths weren't to defeat Wen Ruohan but to keep Nie Mingjue alive and that is what he can't forgive. It's that after everything the thing he is so angry at Meng Yao for is choosing to value his life over that of his men.

And then I look back at Nie Huaisang who lied and schemed, yes, but who, most importantly, committed so hard to his headshaker persona that the Nie clan declined by the year, a shadow of its former self after only a decade of leadership.

And I realize that both Meng Yao and Nie Huaisang at one point looked at Nie Mingjue, and then looked at multitudes of Nie sect cultivators, and decided that Nie Mingjue was more important. And that's what he'd hate the most.

#mdzs #mdzs meta #nie mingjue #nie huaisang #meng yao #jin guangyao #something about... meng yao killing him... being the least of his sins in mingjue's mind #and yet everything in huaisang's #nie mingjue is mad about meng yao killing him insomuch as he sees himself as an obstacle to stop meng yao from doing bad things to others #and eliminating him was a way for him to continue doing so #his own death? trivial. the real problem is everything else jin guangyao might now get away with #and then nie huaisang intentionally let him get away with everything else for years on end to get revenge for mingjue #just. the way this is the exact opposite of what he wanted in every single way.#sometimes i think huaisang knows #and doesn't care #his brother can't be dissapointed in him anymore because he's gone and it's jin guangyao's fault.#if someone wanted him to care about da-ge's opinion then maybe they should have LEFT HIM ALIVE

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meltingchaos · 1 year

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Parallels.

That same look. Disbelief, disgust, betrayal. Both human residents of the boiling isles ultimately couldn't forgive Belos, and with good reason. His efforts to 'save' humanity only resulted in his fellow humans hating him.

His responses to both of them are the same. Deflecting blame, twisting it to be on the witches, still ever evading the consequences of his own actions. He acts like both a victim and a hero, contradicting himself and desperately grasping at any excuse to believe that he's the good guy in this story. "I tried to save your soul, it's your fault this all happened" and "We're human, we're better than this". Masterful manipulation that's now easy for these two to spot. His facade is broken. 👏

Belos is a phenomenal villain and seeing the people he's hurt not say anything to him but instead give him this look is so powerful.

They didn't need to say anything. The glare was enough to make him squirm, panic and frantically scramble to defend himself. He doesn't have power over them anymore, nor can he hide from his actions. He's faced with a look that acknowledges his wrongdoings, forcing him to come face to face with them despite doing all he could to avoid them. Despite destroying the fonder memories of his brother, burning out his face to justify killing him. ('Hollowing' out his mind, if you will.) Despite every instance of him running from his past. All that comes back with this look.

He can't control his fellow humans anymore, he can't convince them and he certainly cant be seen positively or loved by them. In one look, he's lost.

#thats right look down on that pathetic goop man #toh spoilers #the owl house #toh #emperor belos #watching and dreaming spoilers #toh watching and dreaming #watching and dreaming #owl house #toh parallels #toh ramble #toh theory #toh rant #gushing

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itsgrimeytime · 6 days

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he's such a pretty liar || Rick Grimes (TWD) × gn!reader

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker @zomb-1-egutzz @deadgirlrin

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Dialogue Prompts: 8 + 2

Inspiration: my boy by Billie Eilish

Summary: You and Rick had gotten along at some point, at the farm and prison. You were friends even. Until the Governor killed Hershel, which you believed to be perfectly preventable. Because of his inaction then, you'd gotten a bitter taste in your mouth at the thought of him and eventually, he started to reciprocate the behavior. But as time passes, and you experience more and more with him, is it really hate that you feel?

TWs: enemies to lovers (like fr though), yelling, mentions of death (Shane, Lori, Beth, and Hershel), mention of the Claimers scene, cursing, anger, nosebleed, bruising, love confessions, injuries, blood, and all things TWD.

[[A/N: This is based on Carl being mad at Rick after the prison. Rick do be stressed out, and he do be saying some terrible stuff, but like so are you. This gif is so 🫣💞🤭💞🤪. Anyway, enjoy :))) ]]

You weren't a bad person, and in that regard, you wouldn't say Rick was either. Honestly, you respected him as a leader -you just didn't agree with all his choices. That's where it all started, after all, isn't it?

You'd seen what a wrong choice could do, you'd watched Hershel die right in front of your eyes. You'd seen it all.

And, sure, maybe you were grieving a little but you still largely disagreed with Rick's actions on the matter. It was preventable.

It started there, and only really got worse. It was like once you identified one flaw, suddenly you were second-guessing his every move. The two of you couldn't be in a room without arguing, couldn't be put on shifts together, nothing. Daryl, for one, wouldn't let you be alone together at all. And if it wasn't him, it was someone else.

"Rick, seriously," you spoke once, almost sternly, "-that can't be your decision."

"Why?" he responded -pointed and short, "-Ya got a better idea? Go right fuckin' ahead."

You knew that since the prison, Rick had been strung thin. You knew that he had been harder on himself than you could ever be about Hershel. But, you still were angry. Sometimes, sometimes it felt like maybe he was just a target for everything that you'd been through. And you were trying to change your behavior, change your ways.

You'd known him for so long, and you were going to be stuck with him. The group, even though the two of you weren't on the best terms, was like family to you.

And then, it started getting personal.

This argument stemmed from something small, trivial, you can't even remember it now. Maybe a decision on a run? You can't-

"Ya act like ya ain't made mistakes of your own," he added, "-all high and damn mighty-"

"When did I say that?" You interrupted, more cold than anything, "-You're putting words in my mouth, Grimes."

"-Because I seem to remember ya tellin' me about your family," he continued, not even pausing to listen to you.

You stilled in place.

"Rick," you warned (voice slightly shaking), "-don't... don't go there."

Your family. At the beginning of all this, you'd froze -scared. Watched one of them get bitten, and then everyone just followed after -not willing to grieve. You regretted not being quicker, not being more aware, but you weren't used to it. You weren't-

"Ya fucked up," Rick continued, as if he wasn't bringing up what he was, "-We all do, why do you-"

"No, no," you shook your head, voice shaking, "-Rick, that is not fair. You can't bring up my family-"

You had hated yourself for that, hated yourself. Still did. You would never forgive yourself for not saving them, even though you really didn't have an idea how to then, you should have-

God, he was bringing this up? Really?

"-over a goddamn run strategy."

"Well, you pick apart every damn thing I do," he retorted, "-'Thought I'd do the same for once."

"Oh, fuck you, Rick," you seethed, tears burning the backs of your eyes, "-you want me to poke at your wounds? Talk about who you could've saved?"

He pursed his lips, and you saw something flash through his eyes (they were trailing the now shake of your hands) that looked a little like regret. Like maybe he was understanding what he said. You felt like your skin was on fire.

"Do you want me to start from the beginning?" You tsked, a fire burning in your chest, "-Shane? Or maybe Lori? Beth? Hershel-"

"Stop," he stated, quieter than before.

"-Why, Rick?" you hissed, and you felt the tears now, "-Is this not what we're talking about? Oh, do you not want me to bring that up? Over a run?"

"I get it," he spoke, softer, and something in you sharpened, "-I get it, Y/N."

"Do you?" you responded, frustrated and just... angry, "-Do you, Rick?"

"I shouldn't 'ave-"

"Can it," you interrupted -short, "-Let's just get the fucking supplies and go."

Rick frowned, blue eyes far more emotive (all you could see was regret and pity), "Y/N, I didn't-"

"You didn't what?" You countered, and your voice was cracking, "-You didn't mean to bring up the fact that I watched my family die, right in front of me? Do you think that I don't hate myself every day for not doing anything then?"

Rick didn't say a word.

"-Hate to break it to you, sheriff, but I fucking do."

"Y/N..." he trailed off, blue eyes much calmer, the rage from before dissipating out of his voice.

"No, just-" you cleared your throat, wiping mindlessly at your frustratingly red eyes, "-Let's get this shit done and leave."

From then on, it had been much deeper.

You couldn't stand him, you hadn't been alone with him since. He made your skin crawl and your mind flare up in anger, and sometimes, just sometimes, it would shake your respect for him. Because you did have some, you probably wouldn't even be here, if you didn't.

The funny thing about it all was that you were close to Carl, very close to him. At the prison, after Lori's death, you'd nearly been inseparable. It was kind of like a parent relationship, but at the same time a little like a friend. It made you want to reconcile sometimes, but all you and Rick did was clash.

So much that you started to wonder what a normal conversation was like with him.

And then, you had the run-in with the Claimers.

God, what they'd threatened to do to Carl? You personally would've snapped their spine yourself if you had the chance. But what Rick had done? You couldn't imagine it yourself.

But you knew that he did what he had to. And some part of you wanted to tell him that, despite... despite all of your problems, you knew he needed it.

It was late that night when you decided to talk to him. It was just the two of you awake. You, on purpose, and you just knew Rick would be. Doing that was probably still rattling through his skull, he probably couldn't even close his eyes without-

Your steps were slow and careful, trying not to startle him -he just seemed to be staring. Endlessly staring, and just pacing. Despite it all, you felt something in your chest swirl with worry.

"Rick?" you spoke, gently. Even still, you saw his whole body tense up.

"Please," he muttered, voice low and gravelly -blue eyes heavy on you, "-I don't need your shit right now. I kno' 'at I did somethin' bad, really damn bad. But I just can't deal wit' ya-"

"No, Rick," you interrupted, "-that's not why I'm... That's not what I want to say."

"What do ya want to say, then?"

"You made the right decision," you responded, tone sturdy and unmoving, "-you... you did what you had to."

Rick stilled, something flickering through his face -a flutter of emotions.

"I know, we aren't on the best terms, but-" you rolled your lip around your teeth, "-you're not a monster, Rick."

The silence was loud then, as his blue eyes skimmed over you -carefully. Maybe like he was seeing a new you, or maybe an old one he'd forgotten about. One you'd forgotten about.

"Trust me, I know it feels like it," you added (mind flashing with what you'd done over the years), "-but you did what you had to. You saved your son, and that's all that matters."

He didn't say anything for a moment, trying to process your words. And if you really looked, you might've seen his eyes fogging up a little and the slight drop of tension in his shoulders. A little like he was waiting for someone to tell him that.

And then, he replied, "Thank ya."

You pursed your lips a moment, fidgeting with your hands. You weren't sure what else to say. This was all so new. With a succinct nod, you moved to spin on your heel and lay down for the night.

"Wait," he called, and you turned back to him -eyes inquisitive.

There was a beat.

"-'At day, on the run," he continued, slow and regretful, "-I'm... I'm sorry. I never should 'ave said somethin' like 'at. I never should 'ave brought it up at all. 'Wasn't right of me to."

"Thanks, Rick," you responded, brief but genuine, grateful. You could tell he understood.

Before you could fully turn around though, he added -softer, with something you couldn't quite name, "Goodnight, Y/N."

There was a pleasant hum in your mind at the way he said your name, but you shoved it away. You'd locked all of that far away, a long time ago.

"Night, Grimes," you chimed back, lighter in tone.

He smiled at you then, and something in you gleamed a little from it. Not that you would ever say it out loud.

There was something different after that, a sort of trust or respect. Or maybe something else, you didn't really know. It was there, though.

When you found Alexandria, things shifted a little. Mostly because it was your group against another one, you and Rick were profoundly on the same side. That being said, you still clashed. You weren't sure if it was just the authority of it all, or what? (It might've had a little to do with a blonde wife that he was spending some time with, but you'd never say that out loud.)

"You're seriously not going to let me lead the run?"

"I got Daryl on it," he responded, eyes solely sat on you.

"He's been on all the runs lately," you continued, trying to explain your case, "-Shouldn't this shit be evenly distributed? Have you even talked to Daryl about what he wants? Or are you just assigning us like it's some dictatorship-"

"'Course I damn talked to 'im," he snapped back, and you could see something tired in his eyes, "-everybody gets a say in what 'ey're doin', ya know 'at."

"Except for me," you contradicted, "-you keep giving me the same fucking chores, when I'm useful in other places-"

And he was, he kept you in Alexandria -washing clothes, making dinner, keeping an eye on the people. He made you some kind of mediator between Deanna's people and your own. But you were useful, you shouldn't be locked inside like you couldn't handle yourself. Because you could, and you had before.

"-You know, I scavenged for months before I met you, right? I was alone, and I figured it out."

"I know 'at," he confirmed, pinching the bridge of his nose. You could nearly see the stress radiating off him, but you couldn't stop, not then.

"So, so what-" you asked, "-you don't trust me? You don't think I can do it?"

Rick sighed, big and loud -fully facing you, "It ain't 'at, Y/N. I know ya can handle yourself, I've seen it."

"Then, what is the problem, Grimes? I don't get it-"

"Just take the goddamn next run," he groaned, something in his tone broken (and something a little like guilt curled up in your stomach), "-I'll tell Daryl he's switchin'."

You stopped in place, words faltering off your lips. Your will and the fire in your gut extinguished, you suddenly felt very out of place, and a little like the bad guy. You knew you weren't though, but he just looked so tired-

"Okay," you finally responded, a little dumbfounded, "-thanks."

He nodded in your direction and didn't say a word. You took it as a motion to move along, so you did.

Apparently, he might've had a good reason to worry.

It wasn't that first run, or even the second or third, it was the fourth after that conversation that you were stupid. Well, it really wasn't your fault. You thought someone had your back, and they didn't; so, one of the walkers had clawed pretty deep into your arm.

It was bleeding a lot (maybe too much) and probably needed stitches, but you didn't worry about it. Denise could handle it, and you, as a community, were pretty good on medical supplies at this point.

What you didn't expect, was after Denise patched you up for one Rick Grimes to be on your ass.

You were still sitting in her doctor's space (you had no idea what to call it) then, silently trailing your fingers over the bandaging. You could already see some of the blood through the white of it. It made you a little nervous, you won't lie.

And then, the door swung open.

At first, you nearly grabbed for the knife you hid on you -alarmed, assuming it was someone coming to hurt you. Instead, you were met with one Rick Grimes -his face was all scrunched up in that way he always got when he was frustrated.

If there was one thing you could recognize, it was that.

"Rick?" you questioned -carefully, a little shocked by him bursting into the room. Did you do something to him recently?

"'At's why ya can't go on fuckin' runs," he grumbled out -suddenly so angry, it made your head spin.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What?"

"You're always makin' damn bad decisions," he continued, and something in you bristled. Your defenses were up in an instant.

"What the fuck, Rick?" you countered, "-You don't even know what happened, how the hell do you know it's on me?"

"You're injured," he clarified, a little like he was talking to himself, "-ya made a stupid mistake-"

"How the hell do you know that?" you hissed, "-Do you just think everything that goes wrong has to be my fucking fault, Grimes?"

"-and you're damn hurt."

There was something there in his tone, something different. Your frustration twisted into a little bit of curiosity. What was that?

"I can’t leave ya alone for one second without ya hurting yourself, can I?" He started up again, and it was there again, angry but also... but also-

Your eyes swam over him, and you recognized it then, worry. He was worried about you, you felt something in you stall. It was so different from what you knew from him-

"I mean," you responded, a little awkwardly -unsure (since when did he care so much?), "-I’m fine so it’s okay-"

"No, it’s not okay," he suddenly shot his eyes to you, blue eyes heavy with worry (so much, it shot to your core), "-Not when I feel like I’m goin' to go batshit fuckin' crazy, thinkin' you’ve hurt yourself."

It was silent for a moment, as your mind processed the words. Skimming along his face, as he seemed to do the same -frustration dissipating along his features.

That... That was new.

"It's just some scratches," you spoke -a little lost, you weren't sure exactly what to say. He cared about you that much? Thought about you that much?

Rick's eyes darted to the bandages, which were just about as dark as before -which was just a little, the stitches seemed to stop it mostly. Something in him relaxed, you could tell in his shoulders -the drop of the tension. You couldn't believe that was because of you. When-

"Ya had to get stitches, yeah?" He spoke, suddenly and a bit awkwardly too (like he wasn't sure what to do).

"I did," you confirmed, just looking and something in you felt like you needed to tell him more, so you did, "-Uh, five in one, and three in the other."

He pursed his lips (like he was debating something), before shattering out a breath, "Can I see it?"

"It's already wrapped up," you responded, blankly -you were running a little on autopilot, "-She already-"

"Denise can rewrap it," he offered, stepping closer. Something in your stomach stirred.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "You want to waste medical supplies, just so you can see my wound?"

Rick's lips pressed into a thin line, something in him firing back up, "I'll replace the supplies my damn self, if I 'ave to, just let me see."

You couldn't really say anything, it felt like all the words had washed from your head. Like you couldn't speak if your life was on the line.

He faltered a second, sighing, and his eyes shifted to something softer (a little like pleading), "I... I need to see if ya are alright."

You felt like you were stone -frozen.

"Please."

Your heart lept into your throat (and you let your mind drift somewhere you'd never let it before), "Yeah, okay."

That started the shift.

And he started checking over you after every run, you thought it would've been annoying but... you got used to it. And something in you liked helping him calm down, although you'd never say it out loud.

Things were a little different. You clashed but it wasn't as fiery anymore. Because you knew he cared about you, and somewhere you could acknowledge you cared about him. (More than you'd ever admit.)

This time it wasn't even Rick you were arguing with. It was someone originally from Alexandria. You couldn't even remember their name, but they'd said something about you and you let it slide. But then, they kept going.

"You made a shit call," the guy remarked, sauntering up to your side.

You were a little startled, but you stayed composed, "What are you talking about?"

"We could've gotten more supplies," he continued, "-that gun store was right there, and you called the whole fucking thing off."

You soured -something steeling in your gut, "You mean the one that was swarmed? Hate to break it to you, but we were outnumbered."

"We could've done it," he added -persistent, something frustrated in his tone, "-we had the manpower."

"Are you serious?" you laughed a little incredulously, "-There were three of us, and about 30, 40 maybe, walkers. That is-"

"Maybe you couldn't have done it," he tsked, lips falling in a flat line.

You flexed your jaw, trying to stay composed, "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"You're a sorry fucking excuse for a lead," he gritted through his teeth, "-You don't know shit about-"

"Next time, just go right ahead and do it yourself then," you shot back but stayed still in your space (composed, composed, composed), "-and I don't know about you, but I value life more than something we already fucking have-"

"It's ammunition," he seethed, stepping much closer to you -something sparking behind his eyes, "-Don't know if you fucking know this, but it's pretty damn important to survival-"

"No," you disagreed, voice calm and collected, "-it's not. You don't need to walk into a situation that you can't handle-"

Without warning, a fist flew at your face -right at the nose.

"Shit," you hissed, and you felt the thrum of pain under your skin and could almost immediately taste the coppery taste of blood, "-What the fuck? Why did you-"

"What the hell is goin' on 'ere?"

It was Rick, and his tone was something you'd only heard a few times -blue eyes flickering over you. They held onto your, now bleeding, nose which you were now trying to soothe, and something in his jaw tightened.

The guy was the first one to speak, mostly because you were trying to stop the bleeding. Luckily, Maggie rushed up to your side with paper towels -doing her best to help too.

"They made a mistake on the run-"

Rick didn't let him get far, "So, you punched 'em in the damn face?"

"Well," the guy fell quieter, "-we were arguing-"

Maggie snapped back, shifting her focus for a moment, "You were arguin'."

"No-"

"They were just trying to talk some sense into ya," she continued, tone cold, "-You were the one who took it personally-"

Rick put a hand on her shoulder, eyes flickering toward you -something swimming through them that you recognized from a different day, and Maggie took the notion to stop talking. She turned back to you, and gently guided you to tilt your head forward. On instinct, you pinched your nostrils shut -breathing out of your mouth.

"Even if it was a fuckin' argument," Rick tsked, something cold in his tone, "-there's no damn reason to do 'at. They weren't gettin' violent with ya-"

"How do you know that?"

"Because I kno' 'em," he retorted, "-an' if 'ey got their hands on ya, you wouldn't be standin' in front of me."

You laughed a little and could feel his eyes shoot to you for a second. It made something in your chest flutter, something you were trying desperately to ignore.

"We need to get ya some ice," Maggie spoke, mostly to herself, "-It's already bruisin' up pretty bad."

"'S leave 'is for another day," Rick seemed to exit the conversation with the man, tone unshakable, "-but if I 'ear anythin' else from ya, 'ere's gonna be a problem. Ya got 'at?"

You could almost visually see the way Rick shifted as he made his way over to you. Composure slipping into something more worried, eyebrows furrowing and eyes shining in an entirely different way. Like he couldn't help it, his hands frantically found themselves along your shoulders. It made your skin buzz a little, and made you feel a little woozy. Well, you guessed there could be more than one reason for that.

On that note, you stumbled in place a little, and Rick's hands immediately slid to your sides -stabilizing you. Your heart skipped a beat, stupid fucking handsome men with big fucking hands.

"'Ey, can ya bring a chair over 'ere, please?"

Before you could so much as blink, he was pushing you into it -gently, mind you. Ever-so-gently. And almost on instinct, he fell onto one knee in front of you, trying to hold your eye contact with your head slightly forward, you guessed. His eyes were the same as that day, but there was something else there too, something fuzzier.

"Maggie, ya go get the ice," he turned to her, "-I'll stay with 'em."

She seemed to scamper off because you could tell it was just the two of you. Maybe he'd warded off everyone else, Rick had this... aura to him when he wanted to -a dangerous one. Sometimes you thought it was to balance out his natural nature as a leader.

Quietly, you heard Rick tear off another paper towel and gently wipe at your mouth (where you imagined blood was staining at this point). It was strangely intimate, as you just skimmed over his face.

He was entirely focused on the task, so your eyes roamed along the creases along his face, the blue of his eyes, the sharp line of his nose, the little curls that peeked behind his ears-

You blinked, clearing your thoughts. He was always handsome, you knew that.

"What even is that dick's name?" you questioned, testing to see if your nose had stopped bleeding as much. It had.

Rick smiled a little, looking up at your eyes from where he was focused before (he seemed to be done), "I 'ave no fuckin' clue."

You laughed at that, and if you were honest with yourself thought you saw something shoot through his eyes. Something warm. You ignored it.

"'S hurt?" he spoke, softer.

You responded, simply, "I've had worse."

Rick smiled a little at that, but fell into something more serious, "So, yeah?"

"Like a bitch," you admitted, and he let out a low sort of chuckle.

It made something in you relax, something warm lighting up in your chest. You let yourself feel it this time, just once.

"Just so ya know," he interrupted your thought process, "-'at ain't happenin' again."

You frowned, furrowing your eyebrows -warmth dissipating, "Are you- Are you chastising me right now?"

"No," he quickly responded, but didn't explain further, "-'M just tellin' ya I ain't lettin' it happen again."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

Rick paused a second, ripping another paper towel off and dabbing at your nose. It was probably still bleeding a little bit.

You just watched him, waiting for an explanation. Even though, you weren't entirely sure he was going to give you one.

"Anyone touches ya, says anythin' to ya, so much as looks at ya the wrong way-" he listed, tone deadly serious (it shook through your skull), "-ya come get me, and I’ll set 'em straight. Understand?"

Your mouth moved before you could stop it, "What?"

"I'll handle it," he repeated, pulling away the paper towel and locking eyes with yours, "-It ain't happenin' again."

"Rick," you laughed -incredulously, and maybe a little defensive, "-I don't need a fucking guard dog. I can handle myself."

"'Didn’t say 'at," he hummed, carefully, eyes skimming along your face -a little like he was in wonder (it made your head spin a second), "-'S for me, not ya."

"How does that-"

"If 'ey're fuckin' with ya, 'ey're fuckin' with me," he interrupted, eyes so solid that you couldn't really look away, "-you can handle it how ya want, but Imma 'ave some choice words of my own. So, send 'em my way too."

The words faltered in your throat, something swirling around your heart. He was just so-

The coppery taste again.

You shriveled up your nose in disgust, and Rick laughed at it (something gleaming in his eye), as you reacted -spitting the taste out into the dirt.

"Yeah, keep laughing, Grimes," you tsked, but there was no bite, not really. Not like there used to be, "-I'll beat the shit out of you."

"'Ere's no doubt in my mind," he retorted back, smiling in a way that crinkled at the eyes. You thought for a spare second it was a beautiful one, that maybe he was beautiful.

After that day, you'd say that everything was a little confusing.

These feelings towards Rick were far from new, very far. They'd always kind of been in the very back of your mind. Part of you was actually pretty sure that hating him had in some way distanced you from what you felt otherwise. Now, that is to say, you had definitely hated him at one point. That just didn't mean that it erased the... other thing.

You and Rick were off-kilter. Or at least you were. You guessed you couldn't say anything about him, he was very much a mystery to you at this point.

He just kept doing things. Like the scratch and nosebleed. And every time he'd smile at you a bit warmer, say something you couldn't really avoid. Not anymore. (And you weren't sure you wanted to avoid, honestly.)

And he'd looked at you a lot more, searched you out (when before you used to shun each other, avoid each other), and just smiled at you sometimes for no reason. The thing was you didn't mind it. You wanted him to. Because you... because it was all different.

You were confused, but you weren't going to be the one to encroach on it. It all felt so surreal, that one day something would happen and you'd just snap right back into place -just like before. To be fair, you still argued. But, it was moreso bickering now. And even if it wasn't, before you could get as heated as you used to, you compromised -easily.

You slotted together perfectly and bounced off each other with ease. Hell, he started coming to you about running Alexandria, about problems he couldn't quite get. And the two of you would talk until you worked out a solution. Because you always did.

It made no sense why you'd even clashed in the first place.

You were confused, beyond confused. And you wanted things, wanted to ask things, but they seemed dangerous. Far away-

That brought you here, on a night when you couldn't sleep. Which were more frequent nowadays, if you were completely honest. This whole situation made your mind run for a lot of different reasons, and when it wasn't that, it was nightmares. Alexandria was safe, you knew that, but it didn't necessarily stop your fight or flight -the urge to constantly be on edge, protect.

So, sometimes you sat here on the steps of your porch in the night -the chill and silence of it soothed you. It wouldn't always get you back to sleep, but it would make you feel better. Remind yourself that you're breathing. That you're alive.

You exhaled, trailing your finger along the wood of the railing beside you -absorbing the low buzz of bugs in the air and the strangely familiar groans of walkers outside the walls. It was kinda fucked up that it calmed you down, but you gave yourself a pass.

"Funny seein' ya 'ere."

Your eyes shot up and latched onto his.

The Grimes house was just a couple of houses down, diagonal to yours. So, you could see him, but not entirely clearly.

He was leaning on the porch railing, you could see the sleeves of his jacket against the starch white, and his hair seemed a little messy -your eyes trailed over a particular curl. It was hanging slightly down in front of his face. (You got the urge to fix it, comb it back into place.)

"'Could say the same to you, Grimes," you replied.

You saw him smile, dropping his head to look at the ground. It made something in your chest flutter. But, before you could say anything else, he was stepping down from his porch and making his way to you.

As he got closer you recognized that he was in pajamas with just a jacket thrown over.

He stood just at the bottom of the stairs, leaning onto the railing slightly and just looking at you. Like he always did these days. With worry and... something else.

"Nightmare?" he questioned, genuinely.

You rolled your lip around your teeth, deciding to say, "Kind of."

Rick's lips pressed into a frown, eyes glazing along your face (you didn't look back at him), "Can I sit?"

You were wordless, but moved slightly to the left (despite not really needing to) as unspoken acceptance. He stared at you for a second longer, before slowly but surely making his way to the steps. He sat closer to you than you thought he would've, but it was almost in character of him to do something that surprises you so.

"Ya cold?"

On cue, you shivered slightly, "I've had worse."

Rick let out a low sigh (he knew you well now), nudging off his jacket and hanging it squarely on your shoulders without hesitation. His eyes trailed over you wearing it for a moment, a small look in his eyes that you couldn't name. All shiny as his lips quirked up just a smidgen.

"You don't have to do that," you objected, but it was quiet and weak.

"I want to," he replied, simply.

You couldn't argue with that. Hell, you didn't think you could argue with him anymore-

Rick interrupted the thought, eyebrows furrowed in that kind of way you knew to be worried, "What do ya mean 'kinda'?"

You took a second, staring out into the night -listening to the silence.

"My mind won't stop," you clarified, "-sometimes it's... things I've done, and other times it's... things that I just can't seem to figure out."

"What's it today?"

You pursed your lips a minute, before answering, "Something I can't figure out."

He stared at you, blue eyes flickering along your face in a hazy sort of way. It made something unfurl in your chest that you'd tried to keep shoved down, "Is 'ere anythin' I can do to help?"

You ran the idea through your head a few times, and let your eyes match him a few more. You aren't entirely sure why, but talking to Rick fel a little like he'd never judge you. Even though he had before, it was... it was now. Things were very different.

"Can I ask you a question?" you spoke, then, deflecting a little.

"Shoot," he responded, almost instantly. ( A little like he'd do anything you'd ask.)

"What happened to us?"

Rick's eyebrows furrowed, and you took it as a motion to keep talking, to explain. So, you did.

"We used to-" you dropped your hands on your lap, and stared out into the Alexandrian streets, "-We used to scream at each other until our faces turned red. We couldn't stand each other, and now..."

"'At ain't a good thing?" he questioned, something in his tone a little disappointed (it made your head swirl a little), "-'At it changed, I mean."

"It is," you reassured, facing him a second, "-but I just... Isn't it confusing?"

Rick stayed silent a second, eyes smoothing along your face. Just looking, like maybe he thought you were beautiful (just like you did on that day), or maybe like he never wanted to forget what you looked like.

"No."

You pressed your lips together.

"Don't get me wrong," he clarified with a smile, "-I hated ya once, a long time ago. But 'is? Now? It makes sense."

You asked before you could think about it, "What is 'this'?"

He just stared at you a second, something flickering through his eyes, careful and considerate. Something warm. The warmth you kept seeing now, the one you tried to avoid.

"You," he answered, vaguely, "-Us."

"What does that mean?" you asked, your confusion was ever-so-clear. This was all things you didn't understand.

He didn't say anything, as you stared out into the streets -watching some of the porch lights flicker. The night sky was still dark, so you weren't really worried about the hour.

And then, you felt calloused fingers on your chin -guiding you back to his eyes. The thoughts cleared out of your head.

"Y/N, you drive me fuckin' crazy," he laughed a little, and you felt your eyebrows furrow, "-not just in a frustratin' sorta way. You... I worry about ya like crazy, I think of ya like crazy... I care 'bout ya like crazy-"

Your heart skipped a beat.

"-an' I... I love ya like crazy."

Your lips felt stitched shut, as he just smiled at you -something in his eyes that you could see now. You could identify.

"Ya poke and prod at me until I'm reelin', yeah, but-" he pressed his lips together, eyes shimmering across your face, "-I wouldn't 'ave it any other fuckin' way. An' I mean 'at. I just... I'm not me without ya annoyin' the shit out of me. Without ya callin' me out on my shit."

You laughed, something burning the backs of your eyes, "I am the only one who would do that, huh?"

"Ya are," he grinned at you, and you felt something in your chest squeeze tight.

It felt clear then, abundantly clear.

"I love you too, Grimes."

He grinned, the big kind that crinkled at the eyes, "Thought so."

You rolled your eyes, with no bite, "Oh shut up, sheriff. I could still kick your ass, and you would deserve it."

He laughed, the genuine kind -hand coming to cradle your cheek, "Still, don't doubt it, sweetheart."

You smiled, and noticed just how close the two of you were. He only seemed to be roaming closer, and it made your heartbeat pick up in your chest a little. Before you could stop it, your eyes dipped down to his lips.

He grinned again, the kind that rattle down to your core, all handsome and shiny white teeth. And then, he started moving closer, his own eyes dipping to your lips.

"Ya kno', I can think of a way to get me to shut up."

"Can you?" you teased, quiet between the two of you.

He just hummed, distracted. It made something in your stomach stir.

"I am pretty desperate for you to," you remarked -playfully.

Rick busted into laughter, a loud kind that you barely ever heard from him. It made something in your chest shimmer, proud. You kind of wanted to hear that forever. And now, maybe you could.

The thought made you grin, as you leaned forward, impatiently, and connected your lips to his. It was just a press of lips, but you did feel him lean into it. Before you could get far, he laughed even more, breaking off the kiss, and it made you laugh.

"'Course ya can't wait for one second," he chuckled -playfully, "-You've always been so damn impatient."

"Oh, fuck you, Grimes," you laughed into the night, "-You're lucky I don't-"

And this time, he shut you up.

#its griming time #rick grimes #stuff n' thangs #rick grimes x reader #rick grimes x y/n #rick grimes x you #rick grimes x y/n fanfiction #twd #twd rick grimes #rick grimes fanfiction #he's such a pretty liar

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misc-obeyme · 5 months

Text

So uh. Lesson 38. Man I swear it was just yesterday I was writing the post about Lesson 37?! Augh.

Okay, spoilers below, and be prepared 'cause it was another CRAZY CRAZY LESSON. No I didn't take another 100 screenshots why would you think that? Also I apologize, this is another rather unhinged post.

OKAY NEW THEORY.

"Father" is Nightbringer! Right?!? Tell me I'm not alone in thinking this might be the case!!

Okay, so maybe not, but we had so much Father talk this lesson!! Way more than any other, I'd say!

And I hated it?!?

Okay lemme backtrack a bit.

So, we got Lucifer in ice and chains and he's yelling at his Father saying what do you want, you never tell me anything, give me a sign!

And then he breaks out of his chains, but he's completely out of control! And then DIAVOLO shows up.

SIR. There is just something about Diavolo in full demon form, getting all angry and ready to fight... But I don't think I've ever seen Diavolo with an ominous aura like that?? I can't remember for sure, but I swear it doesn't happen too often. Anyway, he straight up fights with Lucifer to try to calm him down.

The girls are fighting! I didn't crop this bottom image as much as I usually do because I need you all to see how BIG these two are in their full demon forms like this. All those wings...

Note that the angels and MC are watching all of this from the sidelines... and then Simeon blesses MC and I am in love with him and his beautiful face.

YOU are the only one making me swoon at the moment though.

Anyway, then all the bros show up and save the day! I was like yeah, that checks out. Lucifer & Diavolo are going at it and MC tries to get in the way, but it's not enough until all the others show up, too. As soon as Lucifer sees his brothers are all right, he calms down.

Asmo suggests a hug and Lucifer AGREES. They have a group hug where Lucifer is clearly pulling everyone into it himself. He apologizes to MC (!!) and THEN as if all this wasn't enough, MC's ring starts to glow and Lucifer turns into his angel form!!

Once again uncropped so you can see this ridiculous mf and all his wings.

Diavolo is smitten.

And he kneels!!!!!!

He kneels to Lucifer in angel form!!!! And all the others do too!!!!!

I lost my goddamn mind at this part. And Lucifer's like I don't understand why is this happening? And Simeon is like, "he" heard you and this is your answer. He wants you to feel his love and his forgiveness and blah blah blah (I'm paraphrasing). But I need to tell you all this even though I don't normally go into this much detail and here is why.

FUCK THAT GUY.

This is "his" way of showing Lucifer that he loves him?!?!

Diavolo, get off your knees, you are not helping this situation!!!

Okay, okay, let me calm down.

Here is why this bothers me so much. And please note that this just my personal opinion and the way it all came off to me! I'm totally open to hearing other opinions on it.

I hate this because it makes no sense. This is the same Father that was going to kill Lilith, the same one who allowed the brothers and Lucifer, the one he supposedly loves so much, to fall in the first place.

I don't care if Michael is the one behind everything. If their Father guy can do this, then there's no way he couldn't also prevent all of this.

The only way I'm going to give him a chance at all is if they somehow make it so that he can't do much at all. He's trapped or something. Michael is truly the mastermind behind it all and Father is doing what he can from where he is (like imprisoned or something).

Because otherwise, this makes no sense.

AND WASN'T I RIGHT?? It turned out that the whole thing was orchestrated by the Celestial Realm AND the Devildom! The three worlds have an agreement - powerful beings can be imprisoned in Cocytus for their crimes if at least two representatives out of three agree. One from the Celestial Realm did. This was confirmed by Simeon, who went back briefly to ask Michael. However, Michael wouldn't tell him who did it.

NO. You can't be content with that! Michael obviously knows who it was!! So why would he protect them?? Or is he protecting himself?!?

And then someone from the Devildom did, too! But instead of just being like oh well, guess it's a mystery, Diavolo blames himself and says he's doing everything he can to find out who did it. My money is on the House of Lords.

So they were in cahoots, as I suspected!

Anyway, I just don't understand what all of this was supposed to accomplish for Lucifer's character. If they want to make us question the Celestial Realm, then yo I was already on that train! This whole situation certainly makes Michael look very suspicious. And Lucifer goes on and on later about how he must have forgotten about his father's love and blah blah. And I'm like what???

Also this whole part where Lucifer was dreaming or whatever and the brothers were angels:

Levi says "Our orders always come through Michael." That's the crux of this whole thing. We don't know enough about the state of "Father" to really know for sure.

Again, if it turns out that "Father" isn't terrible and somehow had no say in all the bad things that are happening and was truly trying to help Lucifer, then fine. I can accept that. But from where things are right now, it seems more like "Father" can't let Lucifer go and in this case, that's making things worse for Luci.

Do you really think giving Lucifer back his angel form long enough for everyone to be in awe and even make Diavolo kneel is somehow helping him? Because I disagree. Leave Lucifer alone already.

Though he then passes out and sleeps for quite a while.

And oh! Okay, here is my favorite part hee hee:

Obviously I squealed a lil when he showed up! They were all stuck in Cocytus and couldn't figure out how to get home. And someone was like "if only Barbatos could portal us home" and then this happened.

My knight in shining armor 😭

He's so practical. I'm in love with him.

Then we make a pact with Lucifer. AND THIS MOTHERFUCKER.

Flashbacks to the OG, anyone?? I guess he would still lie to himself like this, we are in the past after all. And I think he genuinely believes that MC is his at first. What a delusional simp he turns out to be, though, huh?

And then!!

Cocytus Hall is destroyed because of course it was named that due to being built on top of the entrance to Cocytus. What was the point of that exactly? Why wasn't it just Purgatory Hall from the start?? I don't know.

Hard Lesson:

Diavolo, Barbatos, Mephisto, and all the Little Ds are discussing the destruction of Cocytus Hall and that's when we find out they rebuild it into Purgatory Hall.

We also see Little D No 1 who makes an appearance for the first time. Barbatos says he wasn't able to maintain a physical form up until now. Diavolo speculates it's because their "Father" couldn't let Lucifer go before.

I do not understand this "Father" at all. I'm so confused about it and it's making me crazy (in case you couldn't tell).

Yeah, we got to make a pact with Lucifer. We got to kiss him. It's heavily implied we did some other stuff with him, too.

But this lesson was mostly about Father and his love and to me that all seemed to come out of freakin' nowhere. Especially since last I checked, it was Father who caused all of this bullshit to begin with???

I don't actually think "Father" is Nightbringer, but wouldn't that be interesting? Father of all demons is also the father of all angels? Why would they be different entities? Maybe they're two halves of the same whole? Maybe they're siblings?

I just don't know.

Yeah that's how I felt when Simeon and the angels were like okay see ya we're going back to the Celestial Realm! It's okay, Barb saved us. At least he seems to be chill about things.

And Solomon told the brothers he wasn't going to take MC back to the human world right away, so it's not the end yet. But can we go back now? I want to! I swear by now, I'd have confronted Barbatos because I think he knows what's going on and couldn't he just take me back to the present without all these other shenanigans? And make Solomon come back with me too, obviously. In fact, past!Barb can come too. You can never have too many Barbs!

Okay I'm devolving into nonsense. I just don't know how I feel about any of this. It's not making sense and I really hope that the next lesson clears some of this up for me.

#oof sorry once again this mostly unhinged ranting #I'm sure you're all used to that by now though #obey me #obey me nightbringer #obey me spoilers #obey me nightbringer spoilers #obey me lesson 38 #obey me nightbringer lesson 38 #obey me lucifer #obey me diavolo #obey me simeon #obey me barbatos #misc lesson recap #misc rambles

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reginaaxxwrites · 1 year

Text

Almost a Regret (Sebastian Sallow)

I'm back!! This is not Harry Potter Fanfiction but rather a Hogwarts Legacy. I just watched the gameplay and immediately fell in with Sebastian Sallow. So I decided to write a fanfic about him because why not?

*****

Sebastian Sallow x Fem!Reader

*****

"Avada Kedav--" The timing was perfect. She blasted a spell on him before he could kill his uncle.

"Anne! Go. Now!" She commands her. Anne was next to her uncle. She was angry and hurt, so she decided to destroy the book.

"Bombarda!" She cast. The book was completely burned and destroyed.

"Goodbye, brother," Anne said to her twin brother before disapparating together with Solomon.

They went silent for a few moments before she went closer and grabbed him by his robes. MC decided to leave so they could give them privacy.

Sebastian was still leaning between the wall and the floor. His hand was on his stomach while enduring the pain because Y/N cast her spell on him too strongly. But she didn't regret it.

"Y/N..." He started. But she glared at him. Her fists turned white from gripping his robes. She was starting to cry. And he could tell that she was restraining herself.

He knew that she had every right to be mad at him. He was about to do something he'll regret for the rest of his life.

This was different. Sebastian knew this was the worst he was about to receive from her. She was always a woman of words. But this time, she was quiet, glaring at him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't." Her voice was shaking from anger. "What the hell were you thinking?! You could've killed him! Your own uncle, Seb..." She was hurting. Sebastian couldn't look at her. It was because he can't control his emotions. It was letting him do things he'll regret.

"I know you love your sister. And I do too. Merlin knows how much I cherish the two of you. And I know whatever happened to Anne pains you, pains all of us." Her tears started to fall. She hated it when she cries.

"I can cure her. I know I can." He said, looking at the book that his sister destroyed.

"Please, just stop..." She whispered. Her hands left his robes. Sebastian could feel his anger. Stop? How could he stop? His sister is sick. She might die and he won't let that happen.

Y/N was her sister's best friend. Why is she giving up on her?

"This is Anne we're talking about, Y/N! Why is everyone giving up on her?!"

"I'm not giving up on her!" She defended. She was really not. But Anne was rather the one who was giving up.

"This is about what Anne wants, Seb. This is about giving her what she wants. Have you ever thought of that? Maybe even asked her?"

"Then, what does she want?"

"To end this madness! To stop you from getting yourself into trouble that'll ruin you. To stop you, to save you from your obsession with finding a cure!"

Sebastian didn't know what to say. After all this time, they still have each other's back. They were saving each other and it was starting to hurt both of them.

"Anne... Anne already accepts her fate. It pained me, truly. I tried to talk and convince her that we'll find another way to save her. Nobody wants her to die. I do not want her to die." She tried to look at him. But he couldn't.

"I don't want her to die." His voice was starting to crack.

"I know."

"I'm sorry." He tried to apologize again.

"Not to me. To Anne and Solomon." She was about to wipe her tears but Sebastian beat her into it.

He fixed his position to face her properly.

"I owe you an apology, Y/N. I am truly, deeply sorry. If you hadn't blasted a spell on me, I could've done something horrible. And--"

"Anne will never forgive you."

"Precisely. I'm already losing her. I can't do something she'll hate and curse me forever." He pulled her closer to him for a hug.

"Thank you. Thank you, Y/N." He kissed her temple while caressing her body.

"What for?"

"For everything." He slowly let go of the hug. His hands found their way to her waist. Their heads were getting closer. They can feel their breath, exchanging as if they breathe for each other.

"Guys," MC realized they came at bad timing. Y/N immediately pulled away from Sebastian. But he didn't remove his hands from her waist.

"I'm really sorry." They apologized.

"It's not necessary, really." She said. Sebastian stood up and helped her to get up on her feet.

"Could you turn your back for a bit?" Sebastian politely asked his friend. They nodded and did what they were told.

Sebastian immediately grabbed her waist and pulled her into a kiss. She was surprised but continued to kiss him back anyway. The kiss was short yet it calmed their aching hearts.

"You just got yourself detention, Sallow. And do not forget to apologize to Anne. Especially to your uncle. As well as you." She called MC, who just turned to face them again and nodded at her. They almost forgot that she was a prefect.

"Will do, ma'am." He answered and then kisses her forehead.

*****

How did I do? After months of being on hiatus. I'm not sure my writing skills improved. But then again, it's good to be back. Thank you for your support. I love you guys!

#hogwarts legacy #hogwarts #sebastian sallow #sebastian sallow x reader #slytherin #sebastian sallow fanfic #hogwarts legacy fanfic #hogwarts legacy mc #sebastian x mc #hogwarts legacy sebastian

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mettywiththenotes · 3 months

Text

No cause I could talk forever about Tomura and Izuku's dynamic with each other...

Them first meeting at USJ. Izuku wondering wtf is up with this guy, and regarding Kurogiri as more dangerous at the time. Tomura wondering wth was up with this kid, but also noting how fast he was, how he said Smash like All Might did

Tomura's obsession over Izuku being someone who lost a fight in order to save his opponent's heart. Printing a photo of Izuku out, staring at it, trying to figure out why he pisses him off so much (it's because Izuku is not like the other heroes). The Mall Scene being Tomura holding Izuku hostage just to vent about Stain, meeting by chance being "fate or destiny". Izuku actually being honest instead of saying something else that maybe could have freed him (the guts on this kid I swear)

Izuku remembering what Tomura said about "smiling wide as if to say there's no one he can't save", remembering it because Kouta started hating society, and in the next scene relating Kouta's anger to his own struggles with quirklessness, effectively tying all 3 of them together with the connection being the struggle with rejection and pain society gave them

The Mall Scene being the very first instance where Tomura was triggered by memories of his past, something that was so blurry to him until that point, and then the memories fully coming back in MVA. Tomura thinking almost the exact same thing Izuku thought when he was a kid ("What I really wanted/needed you to say was...") which draws them together again

The back and forth between the both of them in the war arc. "I'll send you to heaven!" and why tf did he say heaven instead of hell. The LOOK shown between each of them when AFO possessed Tomura. And of course "I'll never forgive you!" "And I won't forgive anyone."

Izuku going to the void and seeing Tomura being choked and strangled and struggling to move and then seeing Tenko crying in his garden and the LOOK he gave Tomura when he saw that. The way Tomura said it's his body, it's his dream, to AFO but looked directly at Izuku when he said it. Izuku "raging for the sake of others", the concerned expression on his face and then leaping to push back against AFO's will, leaping towards Tomura to do SOMETHING

Afterwards, when Izuku watched Tomura fall and thought "Please don't get back up", not just because of the amount of destruction Tomura could cause now that Izuku couldn't move anymore, but maybe also because he saw that Tomura was hurting and in pain and he saw Tenko crying and maybe he wished not to cause him anymore harm if he could help it

Izuku trying to catch up to the Noumus and TomurAFO, yelling at AFO to shut up, falling from the Noumus and holding his hand out as if to reach for Tomura but failing to do so. The panel looking as if Tomura was also holding his hand out to reach for Izuku, though it's probably not what was meant

"You looked like someone who needed saving" tying back to Bakugou's sludge incident, to Izuku running in to save someone who bullied him, to Izuku who is the same person who would lose a fight just to save his opponent's heart, to Izuku who has always been like this, and the text itself being shown over a panel of utter destruction in the city and the area, yet Izuku refuses to let Tomura just drown in pain

Tomura crying out for help deep down from the beginning of the story and then saying he doesn't care anymore, that the heroes can't understand anyway, and basically resolving to just destroy everything for real. Ironically, Izuku at the end of this arc realizing that Tomura needs help, listening to him and resolving to save him as TomurAFO flies away

Izuku putting his foot down in the void and telling the vestiges he wants to save that crying child. He wants to save him, even if the future is uncertain, even if it comes down to it and he has to kill Tomura (and he doesn't know what he'll do if that time comes), he still wants to TRY. Gran Torino gifting his cape because it will remind him that "killing is a way of saving too" and Izuku giving him that look like he doesn't want to say anything to refute the gesture of being given a gift from his mentor's mentor, especially on what could have been his death bed, but also like he doesn't like the idea of killing to save when it hasn't gotten to a point of no return yet

Izuku being no thoughts head empty about Tomura the entire Rogue Arc. Once again thinking about Kouta with Tomura because of the way that Kouta, who was so angry and the world and society, was able to come back from that and be saved. How Izuku previously unintentionally tied all 3 of them together, and how now he implies that if Kouta can be saved, so could Tomura

When Izuku fought Lady Nagant and admitted that, yeah, maybe he was ignorant before but now he knows that it's all a lot more complicated, that the world isn't as black and white as society made them think, it's actually more grey and "a blend of anxiety and anger", and that's why he has to reach out and help people even more, and how he was thinking about Tomura in the war arc crying out for someone to hear him

Tomura's head being so scrambled during the S&S battle because of AFO's possession to the point that he's not even sure who he is. But all the same, S&S tells them "someone with a will of heroism will take you down" and Tomura immediately thinks of Izuku. Despite how he told everyone he didn't care if they understood anymore, it's not the truth. He still wants to be saved, he still wants someone to care and help, and the first person he thinks of in relation to that is Izuku

Tomura's eyes lighting up in the final war arc UA battle when Izuku finally appears. Tenko trying to reach out and run away from AFO and being pulled back. Izuku asking first and foremost if Tomura is still in there, and then the confirmation that he is

Izuku punching a hole through Tomura's body, this being the thing that allows Tomura to shed his skin and regain control of his body. Tomura just kind of smiling at him and saying "What would you want to do if I told you I'm here? Sit down for a chat at the mall? Not happening, hero. After all, I AM your villain.", the recognition of the mention of the mall being confirmation that this is Tomura's personality and therefore he isn't gone

Izuku pushing him off floating UA so he doesn't decay it and everyone else on there, Tomura saying the only thing that will save him is destroying everything that has to do with that house, "That will be my only salvation, hero" (Izuku remembering this later on) and Izuku responding "I can't let you do that but I won't pretend I didn't see you crying"

The constant single pages every other chapter or so of these two fighting. Tomura watching Izuku's reaction to All Might's "death" instead of watching himself. That little moment of "You know Bakugou won't make it in time, right? It's all over" as they both watch Bakugou fly through the air, then the shock when he saves him

Making it to Mount Fuji. Tomura so desperate to make it clear that he's the villain, he's the one who is too far gone, to leave him alone because he doesn't need saving it's too late for that, and Izuku putting his foot down AGAIN and telling Tomura unabashedly "You are human."

Izuku using Black Whip inside his body to move because he can't anymore and Tomura saying "Looking at you, I'd never guess you were a hero", a parallel to when someone said that about Izuku in the Rogue arc

Tomura thinking about how any normal person would have prioritized their life over someone else's, how Izuku isn't normal, like he's entirely different from every other hero in Tomura's view who just wants to take him down and ignore his cries. This being the thing that attracted him to Izuku because Izuku is the kind of person who will take others even his opponent into consideration, and scratching at his neck after ages of not doing so. The battle is stressing him out and Izuku is hitting him where it hurts, this being evidenced again when Tomura proceeds to frown throughout the next scene because, again, Izuku is doing everything in his power to get an advantage just to help him

Tomura decaying Gran Torino's cape, as worn as it was, and this showing that the "killing to save" ideology simply doesn't apply anymore, not with how determined Izuku is to save him now more than ever

And now they are watching each other's memories... how they view the other from each other's pov's... delving into backstories and trauma...

Literally they have so much going on, so much symbolism and meaning in their interactions and how they see each other, and they've only interacted canonically 3 times throughout the story. That's not even to mention the stuff outside the story

Like volume 25's obi sketch and both of them being on the front cover AND back cover. The 306 double spread with AFO in Izuku's TV and All Might in Tomura's and Tomura looking at Izuku. The volume cover 15 25 35 pattern with Izuku on volume 15, Tomura on volume 25 and then both of them being on volume 35 (the implication that not only did Hori like the wsj version of that cover so much that he put it on this one, but also that there was no appearance of Izuku or Tomura in this vol35, suggesting that the only reason they are on the cover in the first place specifically is because it completes the pattern). Both of them appearing on volume covers at least 4 times that I can remembers (volume 3, volume 23, volume 10 and volume 35). And then there's the official art and sketches, like the jump festa sketches and that one sketch where Tomura and Izuku cosplay horror characters and show up to 1a filming studio ghibli my neighbor totoro, more like gatecrash with the way Bakugou yells to cut the scene

What the fuck. What the FUCK. I can't handle them *collapses*

#i could go on and on #i've probably missed some things #of course i would have missed some things #there's literally so much to them i'd need a notebook just to log it all #they are one of the most important dynamics in the entire series im so serious #bnha #shigaraki and midoriya #bnha manga spoilers #bnha spoilers #tomura shigaraki #izuku midoriya #mettys posts #metty posts #shigaraki and midoriya analysis

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strangersteddierthings · 7 months

Text

No Regrets - Part Two

TW: OC Character Death (dude doesn't even get a name). Steve reflects on killing both demo-creatures and humans with detachment. Mentions of Major Character Deaths but as a reminder, they don't stay dead! (Well, Chrissy and Fred do)

Part One🦇 Part Two🦇Part Three🦇Part Four🦇Part Five🦇Part Six

Maybe he should feel bad about watching Robin grow smaller in the rear-view mirror, her face a mixture of disbelief and anger. Maybe he should feel regret for his actions, for the betrayal Robin probably feels right now.

He doesn't.

Looking at the bigger picture, at the regrets he actually does have in the waking world, this is small potatoes. A non-issue. Robin will forgive him in the end.

War Zone is like a ghost town compared to the first time Steve was here. Though, that should have been expected. The panic hasn't swept through town yet. So far, it's just one dead girl. Fred'll join her sometime this afternoon. Evening? Sometime later today.

Nineteen-year-old Steve would hate himself for not trying to help. For not doing his best to save Fred.

But.

Well, Fred dying will help Dustin, in the long run. Will help Eddie. And that's more important. That's the goal. The dream, if he's allowing himself to be cheeky in his own mind.

Steve's not heartless, or anything like that. Robin, his Robin in the waking world, still calls him a softy and worries his kindness will get him killed on the daily. He always puts the safety of the group above himself. The first to volunteer on supply runs or for scouting or taking watch through the night. He knows he can run on empty for much longer than anyone else he knows.

The end of the world has a way of skewing what kindness and softness are, though. Those first few months were the hardest. Steve wanted to save everyone they came across. Help as many people as possible, but rations run dangerously low that way. Clean water can become contaminated quickly by ignorant people. Not everyone handled the apocalypse with grace.

The first harsh lesson Steve had learned was two months into the end of the world. They'd ventured to Indy to find supplies. Medicines. Try and stock up on things they didn't need yet but wanted around for the just in case of it all. They'd found some survivors, which wasn't surprising in itself. The surprising bit was that these guys had made it on complete luck it seemed. They were loud. Jumpy. Panicky.

When Lucas and Mike, on scout duty, had reported back demogorgon activities nearby, one guy started to panic. Got loud and couldn't bring himself back down. Steve was closest, tried to shush him but he wouldn't be quiet.

"Move," Murray (may he rest in peace) whispered, seeming to have appeared from nowhere, shoving Steve away, nudging him out of the way. Murray stepped behind the guy, one hand covering his nose and mouth, the other arm around his neck. It made the guy panic more, fighting Murray and then Murray just-

Steve remembers he flinched at the noise, turning away to cover his mouth and calm his own panic. The noises stopped though. Steve had shot a horrified look to Hopper, but Hopper wasn't looking at Steve. He was looking beyond, at Murray and what he'd done, nodding his approval.

The demogorgons didn't find them that day.

"You can't help everyone, Steve," Murray said, once they'd started the trek back to Hawkins. "The safety of the group comes first, over just one person."

Lesson heard. Lesson learned. Lesson put to use four months later.

So. Fred must die, for the good of the group. Patrick, too, if Steve can't get to Vecna in time. He should be able to. Vecna will try and take Max first, tomorrow. Patrick the day after. If everything stays the same.

The clerk doesn't even blink at what Steve buys, or the quantity of what he buys, but his eyebrows do go up a little at the total.

Steve hesitates just a bit over the checkbook his parents gave him the first time they'd left him home alone at fourteen. For emergencies only, Steven. It's been sitting in his glove box, unused, since he turned sixteen. He's never wanted to have to explain what he'd used it for. Nothing had ever seemed like enough of an emergency to warrant explaining it to Richard Harrington.

He does find it a little odd that his mind is conjuring up the concept of money. Of all the little things to think about while he sleeps, he really didn't think his subconscious would bring capitalism back.

Steve rips the little check out of the booklet and hands it over. The clerk looks it over before giving a nod and finishing the cash out. Steve takes the receipt when it's offered, shoving it into the checkbook before shoving that into his back pocket.

The parking lot has one other person in it, who Steve is aware of the entire time he's loading the trunk of his car with gallons of lighter fluid, weapons, and padded camouflage. It's only after Steve's slammed the trunk closed and shoved the cart back towards the front of the store that the guy watching him speaks.

"Must be some bonfire you're planning."

Steve rounds his car and opens the door before answering. "It's spring break, man." He slides in, the door falling closed after him. He buckles up, starts the car, and heads home. The house will be empty, he knows.

He works in silence, unloading the car and organizing his haul in the dining room, eyes flicking to the clock. There's still a couple of hours before dark. Before he should go check if Eddie's still in the boathouse, or if the police did go find him.

He sets the timer on the stove for an hour and flops onto his couch and sighs. Just as comfy as he remembers. He can have a nap before making sure Eddie's in jail. Surely his dream will allow him that?

"Mmhm," Steve mumbles as his neck protests movement. He's slow to wake. His head feels like white noise. He thinks he was dreaming but he can't quite grasp at what it was... oh. Family Video and War Zone. Reliving a memory. He wonders if Robin is still mad at him for that day, ditching her with Dustin and Max. It'd been for a good reason and- Steve wrinkles his nose as he sits up, head still static-y. Was it for a good reason? He can't remember what else happened after that....

"He rises," Robin whispers next to him, spooking him. She comes into focus as he sits up straight, leaning out of her space to look at her. She gives him a smile, judging by the crinkle around her eyes and her cheeks rounding. The gas mask prevents him seeing her real smile and he misses it. He thinks about his dream, and getting to see all of Robin's face again.

Dreaming is bittersweet.

"I miss anything?" He asks, because it's a safe question.

"Scouts radioed. The way should be clear in another," Robin grabs his wrist and twists so she can see the time on his watch, "another twenty minutes or so."

The mention of the radio makes him think of Dustin, and how much he misses him. And thinking of Dustin makes him think of Eddie. Steve knows it's irrational for him to miss someone he never knew but that doesn't stop the ache. The almost of it all sits heavy in his chest.

"Right," Steve says. "Want to see how many rounds of Rock, Paper, Scissors we can get through in twenty minutes?"

Robin shuffles sideways to be facing him and holds her hands up. "You always lose but okay."

They get about twelve rounds into it before Steve finds himself asking, "Hey Robbie. Do you remember Spring Break?"

Her hands freeze in the air, an aborted motion to make paper to beat Steve's rock. She locks eyes with him for a moment and he can see the worry there. "I- Steve. Is it- did you take a hit? Is it your head? Should I not have let you nap?"

No. No, he doesn't think he got hurt on this run. Well, his shoulder hurts from when he stumbled and slammed into wall during the last loading of the truck, but he hadn't hit his head. He thinks. "I don't know... I hit the wall hard, shoulder hurts, but I didn't hit my head. I don't remember hitting my head."

Robin stands immediately and begins jabbing her fingers around his skull. "Anything tender?"

"Nope. Just a messed up hairdo," Steve swats her hands away.

"Well, you can never be too sure. You are precious cargo. Why did you ask about the start of the apocalypse?"

Steve shrugs. What can he say? That he's forgetting the start of all their horrors? He can't say that, not without coming across like he's either crazy or bragging. Remember the week that ruined our lives and gave us all enough trauma to fill an ocean? Yeah, well, I don't so ha!

He can't be sure but he thinks Robin frowns beneath her mask. "We'll have to have someone look you over when we get back. Steve, if you're losing your memories..."

"I'm not losing memories," Steve lies. Head trauma is serious and he knows he can't take one more hit to the head. He won't be able to continue helping with supply runs or patrols if he is getting worse. If he starts getting migraines, they'll reassign him for sure. Something that doesn't let him leave the safety of their home base at the high school.

"Steve," she warns. He knows it's a warning.

He shakes his head. "I just. I had a dream about Saturday. Very vivid. Just made me think about it, is all."

Robin softens, sinking back down to sit beside him. She finally answers, "yeah. I remember Spring Break."

"I miss everyone," he confesses, because it's true. Because it's safe.

"Me too," Robin says, leaning her mask against his.

They wait in silence until the scouts call the all clear and they can head back home.

They make it back to Hawkins before night falls but just barely. The gates get rolled shut behind them and the unpacking gets started. The whole community has gathered for their return. This is their longest run to date with how far they had to go this time and Steve doesn't blame anyone for needing to see their loved ones as soon as possible.

"Robin!"

Steve turns just in time to watch Vickie launch herself at Robin. Robin must have seen her running, though, because she's already braced for impact and catches Vickie easily, arms grabbing at Vickie's thighs to support her weight as she wraps them around Robin's waist. Vickie places her forehead to Robin's as their excitement switches to tenderness and Steve averts his eyes to give them privacy in this moment.

"Steve, here," Ted Wheeler offers up a box to Steve, who takes it without question. "For the Daycare."

"You got it."

The Daycare is actually a wing of the school that used to be where the language arts classes were held. Daycare doesn't quite sum up what they use the area for, but calling it the Orphanage was too dark. Steve waits through the decontamination process. Once through, he takes the time to pull his mask off and enjoy the feeling of an artificial breeze on his face before heading to the Daycare.

"Please tell me there's something useful in that box," Annie Click says when Steve pushes his way into one of the rooms they use for school. Another room is dedicated to being a daycare, kids too little for learning, another is schooling for kids who would be in middle school, and the last room is lines with beds.

"Sorry, Mrs. Click, but I didn't pack it," Steve says apologetically.

"My problem to sort out then," she stands and Steve can see the determination in her through the weariness. She'd been a bitter old lady as his teacher but the world ending must have shifted her priorities. There's no one better suited to look after the kids than her, here.

Except maybe Joyce, but she's got bigger things to deal with.

He heads for the door when Annie calls out to him, "Since you're here, would you mind checking on the kids for me? Holly's supervising bedtime but she's lenient with her friends."

"Will do."

He heads across the hall and down a door to the sleeping room. The lights are dimmed and peeking in he sees a lot of kids sleeping, or pretending their best to be. Holly is sitting in a rolling chair near the door, one leg bend and pulled up on the seat as she rests her head on it.

Steve clears his throat to get her attention. She must have heard his footsteps because she doesn't spook. Just uses the foot on the ground to spin the chair to face the door. "Oh. Hi Steve."

"All good here?" He whispers.

"Yeah. Everyone's asleep."

"You can probably head home now. Your dad's back."

Holly shrugs one shoulder at him, spinning the chair back away. "Maybe later."

Steve takes the hint and backs away. His chest aches for Holly. All the kids had to grow up fast, given the state of the world, but Holly's hurts him most. He knew her in the Before, and she was there when Karen... Well, she's got a lot of weight on her shoulders at barely eleven years old.

To think. If they'd have been faster on that Spring Break. More diligent, thorough. Holly might have never known about the Upside Down at all.

More regret he can carry, he thinks, as he shoves his mask back on and heads back to the truck. There's more to be unloaded, and always work around to keep him so busy he doesn't have to think of the regrets.

He works so late into the night that once he gets back to his cot and collapses into it, there are no thoughts let in his mind as sleep claims him.

@i-less-than-three-you @nburkhardt @afewproblems @skepsiss @music9009 @apomaro-mellow @soaringornithopter @reighnofdreams @eddie-munsons-lunchbox @sirsnacksalot @livelifeliketheresnotomorow @sageclipse @schnukiputz @mbloggotdeletedsothisismybackup @lumoschildextra @juleswashere3 @yet-still-more-banched @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @yearningagain @starlight-archer @andrew-mini-ard @chaosgremlinmunson @aol19 @goodolefashionedloverboi @gutterflower77 @moomkin77

#steddie #my fic #time travel au #apocalypse au #it's both #is steve dreaming? time traveling while he sleeps? will his changes matter?#i mean im pretty sure we all know the answers to that but im pretending i can be cheeky about it all #also if u think i made a mistake in my plot or that ive forgotten my own lore just know... that maybe that was on purpose #butterfly effect AU might be a better thing to call this

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wolvesandfoxes25 · 2 months

Text

The beauty of forgiveness and how it tied up two storylines. Part 2.

Jeans indecisiveness and how it saved Reiner:

No matter what Hange says, Jean IS the reason why Reiner escaped. His intrusion gave Pieck and Zeke TIME to get to Reiner. His words didn't sway Hange, they even say that it wasn't Jeans fault. But if you want to be realistic about it..Jean was at fault. He bought Reiner time to be saved. ACCIDENTALLY, of course.

Part 4: Jeans hesitation

Jean could kill titans. Fine. Not until the arc comes around where they're killing MPs and Marleyan civilians, he has a REALLY hard time with it.

Even when Gabi shoots Sasha, Jean hesitates. After, when Floch asks what to do with them, he says, in tears, that throwing kids off the ship won't stop all this senseless killing.

I think this hesitation coincides really well with Reiner, who puts his hesitation into his split personality. His hesitation is as a Scout soldier. It's gone when he's a Marleyan Warrior.

Jeans hesitation was ALWAYS there, and it cost lives. To him. Which he can't stand. Which, to me, is where that self hatred stems from. He hates that he can't help but have self restraint.

"Those bones will never let me rest."

Marco was a GOOD person, who was constantly there for his friends and gave Jean confidence to be the leader he saw he could be. There aren't a lot of GOOD people in this anime, but Marco and Falco to me, are.

Part 5: Forgiving yourself & lifting up another. Name meanings..

Jean means God is Gracious.

Reiner means Warrior.

Look at how he saves Reiner, the lighting in the background. Jean is lit up, and Reiner is in the dark. It's almost like an angel saving someone from hell. The way Jeans positioning is great as well, one leg bent, reaching down and holding UP Reiner.

Yes, holding up. Keeping him from tumbling into hell. He would have been crushed by those titans, his armor would have done nothing. Another suicidal ideation because he HADN'T forgiven HIMSELF.

Jean had though. He had forgiven himself and Reiner. And that's why he could save him. When he couldn't save anyone else. And that's also what helped Reiner fight. Jean gave him a place to belong and Reiner helped Jean realize what those bones were saying to him. It's okay to hesitate, to not be fit to take human life easily. Jean was always strong without the persona, his empathy and empathetic nature for others, for REINER, made him strong.

Jean spent this entire fight concerned for Reiner. He couldn't help that. Couldn't help being worried for someone who had hurt him.

Not to mention.. these two were Isayamas favorite to write. It makes sense that their arcs ran into each other to help each other in the end.

What do you think?

#jean x reiner #reiner x jean #reijean #reiner braun #jean kirstein #aot #snk #attack on titan #meta #my meta #tell me your thoughts #parallels #character arcs #saving one another

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lizaluvsthis · 3 months

Text

Kisame

"I regret the things I did..."

Written by @lizaluvsthis

Inspiration from the song ' Kisame ' by Rhodessa

[Recommended song to listen to]

Summary- SMG4 finished his daily video and laid back down to his bed, he finds himself overthinking...

Note- Kisame in english means ceiling ^^

Chapter is only 1/1

Tags: Angst, Fluff, Pining, Angst/Self Comfort, Gay and Depression is real.

You opened this chapter and I won't say sorry once you did.

10:25 pm

SMG4 had finished editing his video, shutting off the lights and laying his back flat on the mattress.

Taking a huge breath from all the exhaustion he wasted on another brand new video, opening both of his eyes.

He began to stare at the ceiling for a while with a blank thought of his mind, trying to take a break after everything. Even how much he pushed out those problems, it kept bothering him anyway.

What was he supposed to do? SMG4 is a hard worker, to keep the fans entertained, worked out from his ass by 24/7 with every videos he'd make, he couldn't stop.

Oh, how he regretted every moment of that, how he hated himself, he could never say sorry. Even just a simple sorry was difficult enough to emphasize his own character.

What made it hard for him to apologize is that he couldn't say sorry to himself, never even forgive. He was selfish, a selfish man whose hopes are up to 'follow that dream' but he can't push all of those problems forever, he can't just forget about them because they were such a big deal when you're living.

He found it hard to accept, to live as a normal guy. He has such a big reputation to be in and yet he's stuck at some place built a castle with his name written on it.

He still has to pay, living a day in a world where you survive while time passes by... it's sad.

He wished he never existed in the first place, but what came in? Contents to make him keep alive, endless amounts of videos he'd make.

The passion he craved with, the goal he reached. He made it. What next?

What was his next goal? If he had everything to himself now, why did he feel so incomplete? Why did he feel lost? Something missing?

SMG4 knows that he'd already been miserable enough, why else would he be upset?

"We can make another!"

A memory echoed through his head, ears hearing this out from Three's voice were surreal.

Just seeing three by his side, was he actually telling the truth? Were they both really friends? Were the things he said are real? Did he ACTUALLY had that soft side that led him to open up his heart and spoke the whole thing?

Or was that all just to set him free and that none ever he said were true?

But if he did... then why else would Three help him even after and before?

If three considered him as a friend, friends always got their back. Like how Mario helped him, how every crew of his are like a family he never had.

SMG3 meant something... something special...

He was the first antagonist he met but became ex rivals with four even right after the whole "destroying your reputation" arc.

What made three change his heart of mind? What made him change his choice?

Wasn't he supposed to kill the guy- him?

Wasn't he supposed to be the evil one?

Weren't his actions to make Four's life a living hell?

Weren't all those things he did is to steal his youtube channel?

What happened to him?

Where did his old self go and whats this new him?

What took four this long to realize that three had done so much to save him? Risked his life? Literally.

He was sorry for him, sorry for everything. But he never even told him how sorry, how much of a bother, how annoyingly of a coward he was towards his feelings.

"R-remember what I said?" What did he say? What was that? What is four missing here? What did he forgot? What did he miss?

"We're friends!"

-ring-

Was that right?

Were they both really friends?

After everything they've been through?

After... he destroyed him...?

"Ughhhh..." he tried to cover his eyes, planting his wrist to his view. Tried to keep himself calm...

-inhale-

A deep quiet sleep...

-exhale-

A silent evening with nothing to feel bothered of...

-inhale-

Just push them all away and never bother...

-exhale-

Going...

Back...

Opening his eyes back again looking upon the clock...

10:31 pm

Tik...

Tok...

Tik...

Tok...

Time passes by too slow... yet too fast at the same time...

It makes you go crazy and lose your mind...

Where did I went through?

How did I get here?

Why did I ended up like this?

A mind flooded questions, unanswered thoughts. Overthinking again and again and again and over again.

Why was he thinking about Three back there?

Why did it matter to him again?

He didn't know how or why...

There is just something... a thing that he isn't sure what it's called...

Sure they're friends but are they really?

There's so many things roaming through his head, sending him mixed signals from Three's complicated doings.

He found it quite interesting and exciting but at the same time- scary.

Intrigued and fascinated by how Three could do everything better, and that he never misses. All of it... impressive...

But wasn't four more better than him from the start? Back in memewarts he kept notice that Three had tried everything... yet... he got the attention all to himself again...

"You're an -sshole smg4..."

He said that to himself... everything is pretty bad to him... why did he have to do that? When you're already full of everything and you keep bugging into their life?

Came crashing in and picking up the pieces you can't fix...?

"You're so tsundere SMG3" "NO I'M NOT! YOU BAKA!"

Another set of memory flashed to his eyes, three is a tsundere... he looked at the meaning earlier ago, was this all true?

Three? Being an actual tsundere to SMG4... everytime... he gets back to him... a possibility he had feelings for...

No... no way... there's just no way...

His heart started beating faster, warmth from his face, his cheeks and his nose turning red. Felt like his eyes were burning, how he forgot to cry...

Felt like this was the first time from him in years to ever cry after so long... he gripped the sheets from the mattress, his heart felt torn apart.

Ripped up to bits, feeling it sunken deeper, like drowning from a breathable surface. Was that all he could ever wanted? Changing for the better person?

He was gay for him? Madly inlove? A reason why he RISKED his LIFE to SAVE HIM...???

"But why...?" Time and time again, why does Four even bother? It was all from Three... he felt so stupid... so oblivious that he is now realizing Three had this feeling for him...

"I'm... I'm just so lonely... I'm so stupid..." SMG4 hugged the only pillow from his head to his chest, "SO STUPID!" almost tearing the fabric. He lets go, fear that he'd been hurting...

Left for burden...

"I..." He didn't know what to do anymore, looking down at the small rips... in a depth of staring silently...

How long had he been too busy? How long? How long did Three wanted to admit he really love him? How long did three change?

How long was he also suffering the same silence just like his? How long did he hide everything from him? Being the coldest and meanest person? Becoming soft? How long?

How long didn't he express? How long had Four been ignoring his feelings? How long didn't he just act now? How long? How long could he stay like that?

How long would he keep on doing this?

...

Well one thing is for sure...

You can't solve everything from your problems...

You just... kind of did it... beyond repair... broken...

He knows he can't hide his pain anymore... why does he still deepen it when everything is collapsing?

Everything hurts...

Even if... how many times... he kept himself in strangles with the hardest things...

He still finds Three as his other way... like a pathway guiding him to the light like how he did when he was at his darkest moments of life.

Like how he saved him for not going insane...

Thats how of a person SMG3 is...

He hated it... he loved it at the same time...

He felt safe... yet uncomfortable...

Relaxed... panic...

Sad... happy...

Home... loved... and cared...

He didn't deserve all of this... but he is still greatful to have the people he's closest to by his side. Because they'll never leave him no matter what happens.

Four is thinking negative thoughts, but now it was replaced by Three and the positive outcomes of him catching up.

"Three you... you saved me..." Twice he said it... twice... yet Three saved him a bunch of times now, he had to thank him.

"Yeah whatever" how he nearly died during the chase with mario and the notebook, three flunging him out due to the missle's point.

He almost died, and three is just.

"You're gay for me?" he remembered the past, unsure if he really admitted that he has feelings for the man in purple. He was too scared to love, the most closest people he'd been with.

Made a thought of abandonment...

If he could've done more, he wouldn't be a burden to his friends and to him...

How does he tell Three that he also liked him? That he really really loved him...?

His thoughts can never get rid of him because he was someone special.

He wasn't sure if he's worthy for his love.

Why does it always have to end up like this?

He looked at his hand touching the air, notice of his tears stopping.

It's okay... even no matter what or how many times he ignored him, because the pain they both are baring now. Are insufferable to deal to.

Just for Three...

And to himself...

To live...

The water that dripped down from his tears dried, eyes widened and understanding. His heart now wrapped and covered with warmth and joy.

He finally smiled with those soft eyes.

He hugged himself and laughed, how he loved Three, how he just overthinked everything to question his purpose and living, then to him again.

It doesn't matter anymore.

What matters is that he continued living than choosing to die, his decisions are what he points at.

No matter now, if he doesn't know how to deal with his problems? He'll find a way...

He always does...

With a final exhale, relaxing his head and shutting both of his eyes.

How he loved it...

Dying from his lifeline with just a silent scream, daring not to tell a word or two.

Three is all that matters to him in the end.

A few minutes passed by as he drifting away to sleep...

----------

Three however is also dealing the same problem... except it was the opposite. Crying himself to sleep...

- END -

#lizaluv #smg4 #smg34 #smg3 #smg4 smg3 #my art #my fic #kisame

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lansplaining · 4 months

Note

So I read the "Jiang Yanli would hate Jiang Cheng" take earlier, and I saw the rebuttal of "Jiang Yanli wouldn't hate Jiang Cheng for killing Wei Wuxian because he'd have no reason to," and I wanted top push it further into angst territory, SO:

A Jiang Cheng who, after seeing Wei Wuxian defend their sister--thus showing that he still holds SOME type of love and affection for the Jiang--has a renewed desperation to save their idiot from his madness. He's Determined. He will bring Wei Wuxian home because Wei Wuxian is still Jiang and still has loyalty to the family, dammit. Meanwhile, Jiang Yanli is... in pain. The book says that she couldn't forgive Wei Wuxian easily for the death of her beloved husband, but she still loved him as her little brother, so how could she be spared when Jin Zixuan wasn't? As much as she wants to reconcile all of this, she can't look at Wei Wuxian without wondering "why, why, why?"

So we've got desperate Jiang "I want ALL of my living family together can't I please have that we can be a family again can't we?" Cheng and tragic Jiang "I want to treat you as before but my husband is dead by your hand and your act of love to save me hasn't healed the deep wound that has been inflicted on my soul BECAUSE I also love you and hold you dear in a different way" Yanli AND imploding Wei "I have done everything I can to walk the line of my moral compass and no one is truly understanding what I must accomplish or why and I cannot reveal anything and must stay the course" Wuxian in the mix.

Truly Toxic Siblinghood. I love and live for the pain.

see!!! this is so much better and more interesting than what all these anons are describing!!!

#ask answered

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1000sunnygo · 4 months

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Saw someone trying to claim that cora secretly resented his birth dad (too lazy to correctly spell the man’s name) and like nah dude. That’s the main reason he ran away. He still loved his dad and never blamed him. Because I think despite everything he saw his dad as good hearted and correct, just painfully naiive. I sometimes wonder if doflamingo ever truly hated their dad. Resents the hell out of him, hated his actions, blames him for his childhood miseries and stone cold in his murder. But their dad was never presented in a hatable way, at least from my reading.

Agreed, Homing wasn't presented in a hateable way. Oda designed him as an elegant-looking fellow in spite of being a regular Tenryubito and that says enough. The Donquixote couple were the only Celestial Dragons who couldn't be brainwashed into becoming egocentric psychopaths even though they were born and raised at Mariejeoise, they owe some respect.

The criticisms of Homing's personality comes from our own judgement of his character and not from canon narration, shoutout to @eroguron0nsense for this meta summarizing his flaws. Frankly speaking, I think Homing was doomed to die. Being killed by his own son just adds a layer of irony, it wasn't a dignifying way to go.

As for Rosi, he clearly held a high opinion of his father:

"How was such a monster born in the family of such kind hearted mother and father? I don't get it. He's not a human."

In fact, I doubt Rosi ever pondered about his father's naivety at all. There's no point in digging the faults of a humble father who died long ago, considering that a greater evil (still) existed in their bloodline who inflicted much bigger pain in his childhood. Rosi's most severe loss in his childhood was his parent's deaths, not the lavish life at Mariejeoise.

Point to note is that a six year old's cognitive development is still underway, a ten y/o on old on the other hand, has evolved a lot. Rosi wasn't be able to judge his parent's character the same way his brother could. I've wondered, if Rosi were around Doffy's age, would he be influenced by Doffy's ideas a lot more, like most younger siblings? Probably not, since Rosi's thought process is fundamentally different from Doffy's. He's hotheaded and impulsive, but he's not vengeful. Rosi enlisted as a marine to save civilians in spite of being poorly treated as a child, and knowing that they'd hate him if they knew about his bloodline. I can't imagine Law or Doffy doing the same. Rosi is a humanitarian who held a deep sense of justice (passed from Sengoku and kindhearted parents) - that neither of those two had.

Having a bit of thought experiment, if Law as a child were in Doffy's position, I can see him resenting his father - not for losing the family status but for endangering his family's life (and the death of his mother). But I don't think he would've been manipulated by bad adults into killing his father. I see Rosi's driving force his morality (returned to his brother to stop him to save the civilians), Doffy's is self importance (would throw away anyone for his own cause), and Law's is love (extreme protectiveness of those he loves). No matter what, Law wouldn't be risking the safety (and sanity) of his younger sister.

Back on track... does Doffy truly hate his father?

Yes, he does.. in a complex way. Doffy still considers Homing's actions to be the source of his miseries. But I believe "family" means something profound to Doffy. Regardless of what happened or how much he hates him, Homing is HIS father, and that by default means he's a human of a higher value.

Doffy made this particular way of execution, to shoot with his flintlock, somewhat ritualistic and specific for those he deems as his family. As he said in chapter 769, he sees it as a form of redemption.

"But, I shall forgive you! The same way I forgave my real father and brother: with death!!"

He doesn't want to hate them, so he 'punishes' them and forgives them, which in his self centered mind is a form of entitlement.

The answer got a lot bigger than I expected shdhd thanks for reading my rambling though o7

#asks #sorry for procrastinating so hard i wanted to give it some time #one piece meta #donquixote rosinante #donquixote corazon #donquixote doflamingo #trafalgar law #one piece #one piece dressrosa #mine

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yatorihell · 5 months

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Noragami Chapter 109 Thoughts and Reaction

First off a massive thank you to @fast-moon for years of dedicated service to the fandom and answering our questions. You have been the pillar of the community from the moment you picked up the series.

Now onto my (second) read reaction and thoughts

Seeing Yuka and she's aged more and she's looking at the sakura tree thinking of her brother just like Yato told Yukine she would I'm so sad Adachitoka you make me so sad

WHO LEFT THE FLOWERS could it have been Yato? Could it have been Yuka unwittingly placing them to remember her brother not knowing it's actually Haruki's grave? I'm so sad

Oh when it said another new year and we're at the hospital I'm so sad and then it turns out it's been many years!!!!!

The Capyper and star sticker as an earring? Remnants of attachment to Yato? Earring like Kazuma? Thank you Doctor Iki? Killing myself

Oh I really expected her diary to show up and then it does but Nora has it I'm so sad

The fact Hiyori's whole memory of that year is fuzzy so she doesn't remember Capyperland, and probably her grandma's death and the hospital arc and so many other bits

CPR SO INTENSE IT CRACKED HER RIBS

Oh she's touching her lips as she wonders who saved her I'm so fucking miserable Adachitoka you make me so sad are you happy

Jumpscared by hot Fujisaki I forgive you <3

Fujisaki gained control of his body and immediately fixed those bangs hejdjj

Remnants of Father's yearning to see Kaya again sorry babe she wasn't your girl maybe you'll find one that looks like her

Coo phone attack jdjdjnd that was so funny I can't believe he actually came back I was reaching with that prediction

My god I know it's not Father and he's cute now but I still hurled when he asked her out

Rip Masaomi's hairline, they say unproblematic men age better, so what crimes did you commit

Also rip Mr Iki you've aged so much it's probably the stress, but he's still got his medical license!!!!!!

Also I've been told it's been 8/9 years since that day with her being an intern now, it makes you wonder if Masaomi started a family

I MISS SOMEONE BUT WHO?

I actually couldn't believe how many of the bingo card predictions were coming true when I got to the sakura party jsjdnjf we truly manifested this ending

Little Ebisu growing up you will live forever you <3

Takemika and Kiun showing up like two dads with their children and pet bird jdjbdjfk

Takemika reassuring Shinatsuhiko that no one's laughing about their reincarnation vs Takemika bullying Ebisu in Heaven about killing him I hate growth I hate it (affectionate)

Followed by Takemika owning the fact that he himself has reincarnated when it was kept secret for so long I'm so sad

Oh Adachitoka you're so sick faking us out with a toast to Yato like he's dead followed by Bishamon once again beating the shit out of Yato at a sakura party

It's so funny Yato wouldn't release Kazuma but tbf it's handy if he ever needs to use him again

I wonder if Kazuma is treated differently now that he's a stray, or if he could suppress the name physically (it would only show if he got called like Nora did)

This Houki shinki that's a pegleg gun???? Rendered us bamboozled double checking Bishamon didn't lose a leg

Yato please find Yukine some clothes that fit????? Or maybe they're loose so they don't tear when he transforms and they can go back for them idk I don't like this look

Yato disappearing into the ground and becoming known as Teke-Teke he is the living meme hejdjb

I'm so sad Yukine has nightmares and turns into ayakashi form every night and Yato's wearing a Capyper jumper and he's hugging him

I did wonder if Hiyori's diary was on the shelf with the shrine, which begs the question when did Yato go to retrieve the shrine???? I'm so sad he would've seen that she fixed it and maybe it's a but scuffed from where it was dropped but it's his

Yato following Hiyori to keep her safe and he didn't want to cut ties I'm so sad the cord problem was enough to divorce her from the far shore without severing them altogether

I JUST WANT TO WATCH OVER HER AS SHE GROWS I'm so fucking miserable

Nora comforted by the fact Hiyori believes she had a name when she was in the womb? Devastated how did we never think of that

Interesting that the Yuuki name remains even after the word was destroyed, but it means that Yukine can't sting Yato so silver linings

Yato still doing his regular job of slaying and answering small prayers

Cherry blossoms being like snow I'm so fucking emo

THE NIGHT HAS A SCENT

YATO'S SHADOW IN THE TREE

MY. MOUTH. REMEMBERS!!!!!!

Oh I'm so fucking miserable I'm so fucking sad I hate this manga she remembered him all on her own after all this time and she's a doctor and everyone's safe I'm so depressed we're gunna celebrate April 2nd we need to work out what year it will be when she remembers

The final art????? Of all of them happy???? Hiyori is a doctor???????? Nora is with them??? Smiling??????? I'm ending it

It's been such a ride for these last 9 years since I picked up the anime and then demolished the manga right in time for season two. I've made friends and I've enjoyed building this blog into something that people used for their Noragami content. In the words of the rats this truly was my noragami

#noragami #yato #yatori #noragami aragoto #yukine #hiyori #bishamon #kazubisha #kazuma #goodbyenoragami

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sarnai4 · 2 months

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All In

Spoilers ahead for RTTE. I've seen and read a lot of stories, but I only have one character who's been my favorite hero and villain. That character is Dagur because he always went all in on whichever role he's supposed to play. I think the reason is that most characters are written with one particular role in mind. I've seen some who are meant to become heroes, so they never do anything too bad. They can't seem truly evil because they're eventually going to be good guys. Then, some characters have been part of that untrustworthy/villainous side for so long that even when they're supposed to be good, they do shady things that show how they're almost naturally villains. Neither of these happen with Dagur. When he's bad, he's really a villain; when he's good, he's really a hero. I love that.

I've seen mostly two opinions on Dagur. One where he's this monster who would eat kids in their nightmares and one where he's done nothing wrong. I feel like part of what makes him so amazing is that he did have both sides to him. As an antagonist, Dagur pulled no punches. He had the highest confirmed kill count of any human character. On top of who knows how many merchants he killed (since he was very ready to do that), he killed an entire island worth of Vikings. It's not just that either. He's one of the few villains who consistently tries to kill the Riders. When they were caught on the ship, he wanted to drown one of them. When he was fighting Astrid, he tried to dig an ax into her torso. He wasn't even loyal to other villains since he was constantly planning to betray them like with Alvin or the Grimborns. Villainous Dagur was threatening, unpredictable, and murderous. He was also a lot of fun, which made him my favorite baddie. Then, he pleasantly surprised me by turning good.

Dagur didn't have one of those moments where he tried to turn bad again. In all honesty, he couldn't. He'd done so many horrible things as a villain that if he ever did anything even remotely villainous again, no one would be able to forgive him. To put it into perspective, Dagur tried to sacrifice himself for everyone and STILL didn't gain all their trust. Generally, self sacrifice is kind of the most you can do, but since he didn't die, Heather was immediately suspicious of him again when she found him. It's because of everything he had done. So, to make up for how good of a villain he was, he had to be just as good a hero. Dagur became an incredibly selfless good guy.

Hiccup literally yelled that he hated him for leaving him with the Hunters (who technically had only captured the two of them because Hiccup tried to kill Dagur for supposedly poisoning Toothless) and Dagur was on his way to get Toothless to save him. When Dagur tried to sacrifice himself, he had to fight against Heather to do it. He isn't someone who needs someone to care about him back in order for him to protect them. Even in what he thought would be death, Dagur continued to try to help the Riders stop Viggo. Although the gold wasn't his, he still found it for Berk. Even though no one asked him to, he sent Berk willow bark when they didn't have any for medicine. On top of this, Dagur let Gustav (who is basically canonically hated by everyone) stay on Berserker Island at the request of Stoick. I'd say that after putting his life at risk and protecting the Riders, these other actions are necessary, but they show that the little details matter to him. I realize they matter to me too because they really showed me how much being a good person meant to Dagur. At every turn, he tried to do what he could to help his new friends. I truly respect that. He never half did anything. It makes sense. According to him, it's the Berserker way. All in, all the time. Sounds just like Dagur to me.

#HTTYD #RTTE #Dagur the Deranged #Hiccup #Heather #Villains #Redemption

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books-and-catears · 2 years

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Goodbye Dearest MC

Brothers reacting to MC getting killed trying to save them (Part 4: Satan)

<- Leviathan

You wanted to live. You wanted to live and grow older with me didn't you?! Then why...WHY did you throw yourself to death for me!?

Your eyes met right before disaster struck. He literally watched you make a split-second decision and dive forward, jumping on top of him.

To his horror, your calculations were correct. The airborne weapons were definitely set to fall upon Satan. If you hadn't intervened.

"MC NO!" He cried out trying to shield your back with his arms, but you were holding him down, his arms pinned to the side. You knew in the last second, he'd try to save you.

"You would have...lost your arms...silly..." You said between heavy breathing. With your strength diminishing, he freed himself from under you, cradling your injured body.

"SO WHAT IF I LOST MY ARMS?! DAMNIT MC!" Satan made you lean on his chest, as he tried to observe the damage on your back. He hated what he saw. His head swam with rage and misery.

"Without your arms...you can't flip pages..." You argued. "And worst of all ...you can't pet cats. Your arms are important." He almost laughed. In a desperate time like this, he almost laughed.

Who else except you could do this to him? What a joyless world it would be without you. He was muttering every heal he had stored away in his memory for any situation like this. And yet they were hardest to remember now.

"Remember we used to...read books about stories like this...and we used to talk about...what we'd do..." You were almost in a trance. Satan let you keep talking, he knew you were doing it to distract from the burning pain you were in.

"Now that it's happening...I feel like we didn't talk.. about it nearly...nearly enough..." You stared up at his big blue eyes, swimming in unshed tears. "You can cry...I know you want to."

His tears fell as if on cue. Violent sobs rose from his chest as he hugged you tight and cried into your shoulder. He didn't even need to tell you, did he?

"You knew, didn't you...You knew no amount of healing would save you...You did this on FUCKING PURPOSE ..." Satan said, desperately trying to get his emotions under control. But this feeling was new. He never learnt how to handle it - how to make it go away.

"In that one second, I saw your eyes change. They were panicked until they weren't anymore. I didn't understand what it meant until you... It took you one mere second to make peace with your death!" All the knowledge in the world, yet what was the point if it couldn't save you?

You smiled. Acknowledging that everything he said was right. "The weapons were... cursed with ...special runes. A lot of them ....don't have counterparts.... for undoing."

Satan felt his heart dying, slowing down to match the pace of yours. "I won't forgive you for this. Do you have no idea how much you mean to me? Did you forget how much I need you?"

"You've always loved... solitude more...silly. It won't be...too bad." You leaned deeper into him, as if memorizing the texture of his sweater and how his muscles feel through it. "I'm glad..my last moments are... alone with you.."

Satan stayed silent, feeling desolate and defeated. He listened to you intently. Your precious last few words. "Perhaps after this... you'll understand Lucifer... a little better too."

"I wish you happiness Satan...I wish you all the happiness ...you gave me..." You grew dizzier, the air escaping your lungs. "I hope.. I see you again..."

He struggled to keep composure. His throat full of lumps and tears. "Safe journey, dear MC..." He let out a sharp cry of agony as your head fell limp and your eyes closed forever.

His eyes went wide. It was true. Satan had felt Lucifer's grief, but without a connection and without reason.

Now even Satan had a reason. Now Satan had his very own Lilith story. Now Satan knew exactly why Lucifer sacrified his autonomy to Diavolo. And Satan now started walking, carrying you, towards the castle to do the same.

#obey me #obey me angst #obey me satan #obey me satan angst #god this one was especially hard to write...#i love him too much ahhh

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symphonyofsilence · 1 year

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There's something that I noticed about most of the deaths in CQL/MDZS:

Jin Zixuan: *stands between WWX & his bitch of a cousin* "A-Li is still waiting-...A-Li is still waiting for you at Golden Carp Tower."

Jiang Yanli:" A-Xian, before, why did you run so fast? I didn't even get the chance to look at you. Or say something to you. I'm here to say...I'm here to say..." *pushes Wei Wuxian away & dies saving him*

Wen Qing: "I'm sorry. And thank you." *gives herself and his dearer than eyesight brother up to save WWX. Says goodbye to his loved- ones and goes to her death with her head held high & gives a reassuring smile at Wen Ning while she hold his hand as they wait for their death.*

Yu ZiYuan: *gives up Zidian to JC and sends her kids away, in CQL kills herself when she sees that her husband has fallen, tries to reach for her husband, dies holding his hand and smiling at him.*

Jiang Fengmian: *sends his kids away, goes back for his wife, in his last moments he reaches his hand out to hold hers and dies holding her hand and smiling at her.*

Xue Yang: *risks his life by going to WWX and LWJ to try to save XXC, loses his temper for the first time in the fight when Lan Zhan takes XXC's soul's pouch, falls into WWX's tap when WWX says that he just wants to resurrect XXC to play more games with him and that the revenge he sought was bc of XXC, not himself, dies looking at XXC's candies as he holds them in his hands*

A-Qing: *dies helping LWJ to wound XY. Finally taking the revenge for XXC that she had sought for years.*

Song Lan: *finally finds XXC and seems nervous but determined to reconcile with him and ask him for forgiveness, fights Xue Yang because of him, falters when XY reminds him of what he said to XXC, loses the fight with XY when he calls XXC's name. In his last seconds hold out his sword to XXC in hopes that he can touch the sword's name.*

Wei WuXian (in the show): *smiles at LWJ and very softly calls his name and asks him yo let him go, smiles at JC and as his last words, very softly calls Jiang Cheng's name, closes his eyes and smiles while shedding tears in acceptance when he sees JC's anger and heartbreak, frees his hand out of LWJ's grip when he sees that LWJ might fall with him.*

Jin GuangYao: Er-ge, stay & die with me. *pushes Lan Xichen away* (closely followed by fuck you NMJ but it's not relevant rn.)

THEY'RE ALL ABOUT LOVE! THE LAST ACTS AND THE LAST WORDS ARE ALL OUT OF LOVE!

I'm especially thinking of how Xue Yang, Jin GuangYao & Wei WuXian all died knowing that if nothing else, they were loved, & maybe it wasn't enough compared to the whole shitshow, but it made it all worth something

They smiled before they died.

It's also true for the last scenes of the characters: Song Lan asks Wangxian to tell Xiao Xingchen that it wasn't his fault if they ever see him, the Wen remnants as fierce corpses save Lan Sizhiu & WWX & those with them and bid LSZ farewell, Lan Xichen leaves the story mourning JGY, Nie Huaisang takes JGY's cap with him before he leaves(in the book)/is affirmed to be the mastermind behind everything because he was seeking revenge for his brother (in CQL), Jin Ling decides that even though JGY, WWX & WN all had a hands on his father's death he can't hate them 'cause they've all given him reasons to be unable to. He then asks JC why he let WWX & LWJ go and asks him what was it that he had left unsaid, Jiang Cheng's last scene is him remembering his sacrifice for WWX and deciding that he can't reveal it to him for the same reason that WWX couldn't reveal his own sacrifice to him, in CQL he tells WWX to "take care.", Lan Sizhui remembers WWX from his childhood and they reminisce the past, he hugs WWX's leg and teases him about his PG-13 teachings to him back at that time, and he & Wen Ning, still happy to have found each other decide that they're going to bury the ashes of their people properly & Wen Ning declares that he's going to make his sister a cenotaph, Wangxian... get busy Wangxianning.

NMJ's death and last scene are mostly driven by hatred & anger & spite, but still, he comes to his right mind when NHS comes close and calls him as he qi deviates, and his fierce corpse kills SMS as NHS shouts for help, so I guess that kinda counts?

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