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btsmosphere · 3 years

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Breathe Again | KTH

~summary: everything in your world has changed. everything, that is, except the boy who still believes there are spirits in the forest. ~pairing: taehyung x reader ~word count: 16.6k ~my neighbour totoro au, artist!taehyung, fashion designer!reader, childhood friends to lovers, comfort, fluff, slight angst, slow burn, totoro just wants them to be together ~rating: pg13 ~warnings: mentions of burnout, mentions of a toxic work environment, a skipped meal, a tiny bit of blood, being outside in bad weather, heights?

~a/n: hi everyone, long time no see! welcome to my first fic since my hiatus!! this is for the ghibli collab which is being run by @birbdae💞 this one is for anyone who likes ghibli films, wants some comforting boyfriend vibes from tae or just vaguely chaotic totoro content💜this one turned kinda long, but I hope I’ve captured the ghibli vibes well! I would love to hear if you read this and what you think! come chat with me💖

Taking you over familiar roads, the bus bumped gently against uneven ground. But you didn’t so much as blink, cheek resting against the glass which rattled slightly in its pane.

You knew this place.

Something about returning down these roads stirred memories within you, though they tugged more at your body than your mind. The haze of smiles and childish laughter these streets made you recall felt alien to you.

But you knew that if you were to set your feet down in the earth here, they would be able to take you home even with your eyes closed. Your hands have memorised the shapes of the leaves in the forest and the wind would push your hair back like an old friend.

You knew this place, and it knew you.

That’s what you were afraid of.

It was as if a tape was being rewound: taking you whizzing back through the exact route you had ridden out of your hometown when you left so many years ago.

Who would remember you? More importantly, who would remember your goals, the way you had rushed away to the city at the first chance to pursue your goals as a fashion designer.

You hoped they wouldn’t ask. After all, you didn’t know the answers yourself.

Of course, there was the possibility that the town you were coming back to would have changed. There were always new buildings going up in the city, roads closed and the crowds still crawling around like ants. Always moving, never slowing.

But the moment you turned away from thanking the bus driver and settled your feet on the soil, you knew there was no question of this place being unrecognisable. Grass still tufted through at the edges of the road; there was the stream that had always run here, still bubbling merrily and bouncing the odd fleck of light through the grasses it nestled between.

Rumbling into life again behind you, the bus trundled on its way.

First stopping to take a deep breath, you turned after it, feet falling in the shallow furrows made by the tyre marks. As predicted, you gave barely a thought for the direction, your legs easily remembering their way down the short road to reach the market square.

As you moved past the first houses, you parted ways with the stream. It wasn’t long after that the road opened into the square and you finally saw another living being.

Though it wasn’t a big town by any stretch, there were always people around during the day. Luckily it wasn’t market day today, which you were thankful for because the whole town would have been out, and you may well have been caught up for hours by all the people wanting to talk to you.

As it was, three ladies cried out at you from a front doorstep where they were chatting. Hurriedly shooting them a smile, you waved, hoping that would deter them. In the end, you were only waylaid by a couple of questions – how long would you be staying? how’s the big city? – that you could brush off with noncommittal answers.

In that time, you had attracted the gazes of an older couple strolling hand in hand nearby. Gripping the strap of your backpack tighter, you bobbed your head in greeting and scurried past.

Grabbing your phone from your pocket, you picked up the pace. Shooting a quick message to let your aunt know you had arrived kept you occupied with an excuse to avoid a few more staring faces. Perhaps they would think you rude, antisocial, to be walking with your head down and staring at your device instead, but it was comforting in a way. A remnant of your city life, where everyone was wrapped up in technology.

Having braved the main square, you lowered your phone again. Forcing a steady exhale from your mouth, you pressed further through the mercifully empty streets leading away.

The squeak of a bicycle wheel was all the warning you received for the next person you would pass on your journey. Preparing a smile in a hurry, you found yourself staring across at a man you recognised coming around the corner.

Kim Taehyung hadn’t changed much, face lighting up in his trademark rectangular grin as he saw you. He had grown into his handsome features in the time you had been away, and you found your smile wasn’t entirely fake as he slowed on the other side of the street.

Simple white t shirt hanging from his frame, he was wheeling a bike beside him, dusty bags slung over the top. He fit right in with this place.

He was just opening his mouth when you gulped back your faltering smile, ducking your head again and continuing on your way.

With your feet carrying you slightly faster now, you garbled greetings and smalltalk to the other villagers you crossed paths with. The path sloped downhill as you approached the edge of the town, where houses fell away to make space for the rice fields and farmland. From your road, you could look across the flat terraces that stretched, glittering, to the horizon.

Approaching your own place at last, you had to admit you were glad to see Mei lean out of her window to greet you. The old woman had lived there as long as you could remember, and always had a kind word to say.

But though you returned her wave with genuine care, you didn’t stay to talk, instead pressing the keys into the disused lock of your front door. Reluctant from its neglect, it resisted, grating around slowly until finally caving, releasing the door with a groan.

The last time you had seen the inside of this house was many years ago now. Your aunt had raised you here, but had now moved in with her new partner; rather than selling, she had kept the place for you, ‘in case you ever want to come back or visit’.

Sliding the door aside with only a few snags, you stood in the doorway, unmoving.

For a brief moment, a familiar yet long-forgotten feeling had fallen over you. With a blink, the notion that a flurry of movement had greeted you from the shadows slipped away easily.

Dust bunnies, Mei always used to say.

Tugging vigorously at dust sheets that covered the windows, you let light stream into the room, at last allowing you to pull the door closed. Despite all that still required attention, you slumped against it.

Sniffing, you swiped a hand across your cheek. Surely it was just the dust irritating you.

While something inside you felt… different, relieved, to be back here, a larger part of you resisted that. This was only a temporary waystation. There was no use getting settled here again. This was no longer where you belonged…

If only you had found that in the city. That was supposed to be where you would thrive, forge your life amongst the unforgiving glare of neon billboards and buzzing traffic.

You resented the feeling of ease that crept over you now you were back. Resented the people that were content here, fitting fluidly with the meandering of village life. Like Kim Taehyung: he had grown up here with you, but unlike you he had remained right at home, never erring.

You had tried so hard, forever persistent that the world would bend to your will. That you were destined for greater things than this unremarkable town.

Yet now you even found yourself envious of those who stayed here.

They seemed happy.

A low buzz shot through your thoughts, drawing your attention to your illuminated phone screen.

With a dispassioned sigh, you pushed yourself to your feet. You ought to shift some dust from this place in time for your aunt to come for dinner.

Luckily, the house was empty, the few furnishings shoved away in cupboards. After fishing a broom from somewhere, you swept, and had just pulled the last cushion from the cupboard when you heard the familiar call of your name.

Hurrying forwards and plastering a smile on your face, you tugged the door open to help her; her arms were bursting with food. Still, you were surprised by the urge you got to hug her. After depositing all the ingredients in the small kitchen, you gladly returned her tight embrace.

“My darling,” she squeezed you tight, “it’s been so long.”

“I missed you, auntie,” you admitted.

Perhaps you had sounded a little too forlorn because she quickly drew you back to study your face.

“How have you been? Feeding yourself well enough?”

You let out a sound halfway between a giggle and a shriek as she grabbed at your cheek, a gesture that seemed far too familiar.

Brushing her off, you didn’t have time to dwell on the sensation her affections had stirred in you, as more voices drifted from the front room.

Of course, she had invited some friends.

By the time you had greeted each woman, dodged questions and laughed at your aunt and her girlfriend bickering from the kitchen, a steaming bowl was pressed into your hands and everyone gathered to eat. This was a scene you were so familiar with, a sight so common in your childhood, but now…

You shifted, eyes trained on your bowl as Mei told a story of your five-year-old self.

Why was everyone still the same? So nice to you, so comfortable with each other just like always? Your life, your career was seemingly spiralling off course and that guilt still sat heavy on your bones.

How could you retreat back here, accept all this? You should still be working. Not giving up. But you couldn’t bring yourself to do that either.

The same feeling lingered even through the clinking of dishes as your guests chipped in to help clear away, and remained in the following silence and dark as you flattened out your futon, curling up in isolation.

You wouldn’t allow this to feel right.

Even as sleep finally ensnared you in its claws just to spit you out the next morning, you continued to tell yourself what you should want. You should be missing your job, you should be missing the city. And though your heart wasn’t in it, you wouldn’t allow yourself to think otherwise.

The sun was high in the sky the next day when you found yourself staring at the blank page of your sketchbook.

I still want to design. Right?

Okay, so, let’s make a design. Design something. Just one thing. Just one idea, so I know I can still do it. I want to know that this is still the right thing.

I can do it.

Your eyes ran down your watercolour palette, each colour stained with others and hollowed in the middle with use. The small pot of water you had prepared sat too, remaining clear as your pen hovered over the paper.

Some time later, it clattered onto the tabletop.

That blank page stared at you for the rest of the day. Your contest continued even as you slurped at the instant noodles you had made. Every time your thoughts strayed outside, they would be tethered right back again.

There was no point running from your struggle. You would go out as soon as you had managed something productive. For now, the packets of food you had brought in your bag from the city would tide you over.

But as certain as you were that you would achieve something, the next day stretched out in exactly the same way.

It was on the third day that a knock at your door broke through your otherwise deserted world inside this room.

Without a second thought to the depressing dinner you were halfway through, you stood up. Only for a moment you hesitated, before conceding that this wasn’t the city, and it was more usual to have visitors here.

Padding across the floor, you pushed the door aside.

“Y/N! Hi!”

You blinked in the beaming face of Kim Taehyung that greeted you.

“Taehyung!” you returned in genuine surprise, “um, come in…”

Stepping back as you remembered your manners, you cast a look around the room. Unfortunately you hadn’t yet disposed of the slowly growing pile of torn ramen packets on the table, but it was too late.

“Thank you, you don’t have to-“

Nonetheless, Taehyung stepped inside to let you close the door on the cloudy day outside. If he noticed the sad state of your abode, he made no comment.

“I-I just thought I’d come by and visit you,” he smiled hopefully, “I haven’t seen you out since you came back…”

Gulping in the face of his innocent curiosity, you glanced at the floor.

“I’m sorry, I just haven’t… had the chance.”

Your excuse was weak and you knew it. Either way, Taehyung was quick to brush aside your worry.

“It’s nothing to apologise for! I thought I had just missed you and- well, I wanted to come to see you anyway. It’s been a while.”

A soft chuckle passed your lips, which curled into a sad smile. With a nod, you looked up at him.

“Yeah. It has.”

Though his face was smiling as always, it had softened as he studied you.

“Do you want to go on a walk?” he offered, “it must have been hard, being away from the countryside.”

The thought of your abandoned ramen cooling on the table behind you dissipated in an instant.

The outside was a refreshing thought, and it was as if Taehyung had opened the door to the possibility. Once there was a time you would have headed out for no reason, just for fun. That was something you had left behind, but with the welcoming boy to encourage you, you were nodding eagerly before you could form a reply.

Although the village was no longer bathed in sun, cool air rushing to meet you instead, the breeze seemed to carry some weight away from your shoulders. The route Taehyung began to tread beside you was well ingrained in your feet, but your mind was still waking up to the familiar sights.

“I always loved the view from here,” you smiled, muttering almost to yourself.

Taehyung heard you, though. There was no noise for your voice to lose itself in, except the wind that took your words on a winding path through the air.

Slowing his steps, you eased beside him as well. You had barely left your road, but being so near to the edge of the village, the swathes of rippling fields were never far from view; now they stretched out like a carpet below the higher ground your village occupied.

“What’s it like, living in the city?” Taehyung recaptured your attention.

Startled, your eyes turned to him as he remained gazing across the lush greenery, hands tucked casually into the pockets of his loose trousers. His shirt, too, billowed slightly in the playful breeze as you strolled together.

It was those words which brought you crashing back to your senses. The city had been far from your mind, chased away the moment you were reminded of nature’s sprawling cloak across the land. It had been so easy to forget…

“Busy,” was all you offered in way of reply at first. A slight sigh was whipped away by the wind before you found the words to continue. “There’s always people doing things, just like here. Only… bigger. More. They don’t have time to stop and speak to you. It’s so much brighter too…

“I like the neon signs,” you admitted, “but with them, you can barely see the stars.”

While you spoke, Taehyung’s eyes drifted back to you, listening intently. After you stopped, he left silence to settle for a moment.

“It sounds different,” he replied.

You simply hummed an affirmative, but a large smile was sliding back onto his face.

“But I bet they love you!” he grinned, face lifting in such eager happiness that it made your heart ache. Wanting so badly to return his joy, you knew you could never fake happiness that genuine.

“Not really…” you scuffed your toes against the ground, suddenly particularly interested in the way the dirt cracked around your shoes.

As such, you missed the deepening furrow of Tae’s brows, but he stayed quiet, sensing your inhale as you prepared to elaborate.

“Maybe it’s because I had always dreamed of moving there, but nothing was as easy as I imagined,” you spoke quietly, “I was so stupid thinking everything would be simple once I got a place as an intern. The company took me on, but I haven’t got any further.”

A short glance back to Tae showed his brows set in a serious line, mulling your words seriously.

“I’m sure if you keep working hard, they’ll see you,” he smiled, “you always wanted to be a designer. I know you can be.”

For a moment, his words stunned all breath in your throat. Swallowing harshly, you tore your eyes from his, roughly shaking your head.

“It’s just not going right,” you lamented, “all I’ve done since I moved there is work, I take the overtime and travel for shows at weekends, shadow where I can… I feel like I can’t do anymore. And still, nothing. Not even a commission, let alone a promotion. I haven’t headed a project team once. It’s like…” panting softly from the speed your frustrated words spilled out, you paused for a moment, shoulders slumping. “It’s like everyone else knows something I don’t.”

“That’s why you came back?”

His low tone was still light and looking back to him brought you face to face with wide, earnest eyes. Of course, he had guessed accurately. You hadn’t quite intended to spill in so much detail what was troubling you, but you couldn’t bring yourself to resent it.

Confirming his assumption with a nod, you watched Taehyung cock his head to the side before returning his gaze back across the forest.

By now you were drawing closer to where the trees huddled together at the borders of the farmland. The track was a little less well-trodden here, your feet falling between scattered grasses that pushed upwards.

“I don’t think it’s you that’s the problem,” he twisted his body around to face you, still walking towards the forest.

All you could do was blink, slightly startled at his assertion. Thankfully, he continued, pulling his hands from his pockets and spreading them to indicate the surrounding trees which you were entering.

“You’re doing everything you can, and that should be more than enough. There’s no secret to learn… well, maybe…”

“Hey!” you elbowed him as he trailed off, “do you know a secret?”

Mirroring your grin, Taehyung sighed, shaking his head at the ground. You kept your eyes trained on him, as if he might really hold some clue that would solve everything for you. Then he raised his head, fluffy strands of hair falling across his smile-brightened eyes.

“Maybe patience,” he shrugged, “I’m sure you’d get somewhere eventually… but also- maybe you should try to value your time more. There isn’t just one path you can take, and you can always change.”

“I-I guess that’s true,” you stammered.

It was something that had crossed your mind, but you had always shoved the idea away the moment you considered it. You knew what you wanted to do, and you shouldn’t give up on it. Hearing another say it, out loud, was… strangely affirming. But your eyes still fled Taehyung’s gaze, skittering about the trees stretching their hands to the sky.

“Either way,” a gentle nudge at your side brought your begrudging gaze back to your friend, “it’s good to have you back for a bit. I’ve missed you. I’m sure your aunt has, too,” he quickly added.

Grateful for his offer of turning away from the previous conversation, you relaxed a little.

“I’ve missed it here too,” you admitted, “thanks for coming over, it’s good to be out.”

For some reason, as you continued ambling through the forest, you felt no guilt creeping in about time you should be spending working. Instead, you barely felt the minutes passing as you laughed with Taehyung about various scenes from your childhoods. If anything, the small amount of guilt tugging at you was guilt for losing touch.

Eventually, you found yourself reclining in the grass at his side.

“Do you remember when you told me there were spirits in this forest?” you laughed softly.

“Hey!” he grinned back, “they are real!”

Though you giggled along with him, you sensed some defiance in the glittering of his eyes, which made you tail off. Your mouth quirked up at the corner.

“You really still believe in them?”

You didn’t miss the way his eyes strayed from your own, glancing to the grass and across the leafy landscape. But still, he responded.

“I saw them,” he murmured, bringing a fond smile to your face.

“Maybe people out in the countryside really are crazy,” you joked, flopping back to lie on the floor.

“Maybe,” came the chuckled reply.

Taehyung’s shoulder brushed against your own as he joined you on the floor.

Warmth blooming in your chest, you continued to stare across the treetops as they were brushed with the glow of the encroaching sunlight. Something within you longed to capture this moment, grab the warm-tinted clouds streaming across the sky and bring them to earth to rest beside you.

And later, you would realise that was why you had turned to design.

You picked up your paintbrush and brought colour to the white sheet at last.

Too caught up in your seeming breakthrough, with a design almost finished on your page, you were easily busy enough to ignore the way Taehyung’s face crept into your mind. Trying to summon images of the breathtaking evening you had spent, the boy was inextricable from the memory.

The relief and liberation that had flooded you the moment you allowed yourself some respite had come from having him beside you.

Though you were a fashion designer, not a portrait artist, the flipside of the page was steadily filling with sketches of Taehyung. You hadn’t been able to capture him the exact way you wanted, his striking features escaping you, but you couldn’t hold back from trying at least.

But though you had made some progress on your creative block, you still clung to the shelter of your empty house. The hush of the village provided you with a peace of mind you hadn’t even noticed was missing while you were away.

Before you could dig yourself any more holes wondering about the fate of your career, however, exactly the person you had been hoping to see came back around.

Taehyung beamed widely from his perch on your doorstep. That wonderful smile never failed to produce a brighter grin on your own face too.

However, this time he didn’t step into your house when you made room for him. Disappointment sunk to your stomach, realising you had expected him to stay.

But his next words killed off any sadness before it could even take root within you.

“Put your shoes on,” he flashed a playful grin, “you’re coming to mine for dinner.”

“I am?” you snorted, though you were already reaching for your boots.

“Yep,” he smirked.

Folding his arms, he leaned against your doorframe while you hurriedly got ready.

“Unless you have plans?” he chuckled, “another extravagant microwave meal for one?”

Gaping, your head shot up to meet his twinkling gaze.

“You may be right,” you scoffed, finally closing the door behind you as you joined him on the street, “but that doesn’t make it nice. What would your grandma think of your manners?”

“And what would your aunt think of the way you’re eating?” he retorted.

Lips rising into a begrudging smile, you sort of fell against him in a playful nudge. The next moment, though, your eyes grew wider as he slung an arm around you, giving it a squeeze as his fingers nipped at your cheek.

“I’m joking,” he cooed, “I just want you to eat well.”

At least the sentiment was there. About an hour later you found yourself sat giggling in front of a bowl of charred remains that once were food.

“I tried,” Tae was pouting, poking around in his own bowl.

“You didn’t have to try something so fancy,” you hid more laughter behind your hand, “there’s more room for error.”

“But grandma told me exactly how to make it,” he frowned down at his dish as if it had wronged him, “I don’t know what I even did to mess it up!”

Unable to help it, a fond smile broke onto your face.

“Thank you, Taehyung.”

Your words seemed to startle him, as he immediately started spluttering about how you could thank him after he destroyed your dinner. It only served to pull more laughter from you.

“I appreciate it,” you assured him, “now how about we make something simple?”

His kitchen was stocked with fresh vegetables from the farmlands, making it easy for you to pick some and get to work. Closer to the rice fields than your house, Taehyung’s place bordered with the forest, every window giving generous views on the surrounding greenery.

“Done!”

Turning away from the trees outside the window, which you had somewhat lost yourself in, you found Taehyung stood proudly behind you. In his hands sat a bowl stacked with the vegetables he had chopped.

A look back at your own board showed you had made much less progress.

“Let me finish those,” he placed his bowl down and came to stand next to you. “I think you would be better off doing the cooking.”

Laughing, you agreed and let him take the knife from your fingers. Next, you began to fry your ingredients with the rice that hadn’t been a victim of Taehyung’s previous attempts.

Once he was done, Taehyung approached you, sliding the remaining vegetables into the pan. But even as they fell, sizzling, into the dish, he didn’t move away from you.

“Smells good,” he complimented.

Muttering a brief thank you, you kept your eyes on the food as you stirred it. You could almost pretend the heat in your cheeks was from the warmth of the stove and not the way he leaned closer as he smelled your cooking, such that his chest pressed up against your back, face hovering above your shoulder.

But before your resolve could wear thin enough for you to look around at him while he was in such painfully close proximity, a rumble interrupted your thoughts.

Taehyung instantly pulled away, apologies spilling from his lips. You, on the other hand, burst into laughter.

“Was that your stomach?” you cried.

“Maybe,” he mumbled, rubbing a hand across his middle.

Chuckling, you shut off the stove.

“Luckily, dinner is ready,” you grinned.

Taehyung eagerly dashed to grab plates, letting you pile them up with food.

Together, you brought your steaming meals to the front room where Tae pushed open the front door, inviting you to sit on the step.

“I guess it is kind of late,” you said after your first bite, “no wonder you were hungry.”

Proving your point, the boy beside you was already wolfing down his meal. Smiling to yourself, you dove back into your own food as you stared across the darkening valley, stars now painted in the mirror-smooth surfaces of the rice fields.

Sweet as always, Taehyung thrust a basket of the vegetables into your arms before you left – though, of course, he was walking back with you. Still, you were embarrassed to note the hint of resentment at his wonderful actions, as it meant you had one less excuse to see him again. In truth, you didn’t want to leave at all.

But you still thanked him profusely, and you meant it. His kindness warmed your heart, and guilt twisted inside you at the thought of taking his actions to mean anything further.

He probably felt sorry for you, lost as you were. Meanwhile he had found a place in the world, and he was happy here. Almost certainly he only wanted to do some good for an old friend.

But for tonight, you couldn’t help but indulge in the flutters Taehyung set off in your heart, a few more sketches joining the others before you fell into bed.

Since you arrived, you hadn’t been very productive. You knew this, but bringing yourself to care was becoming difficult. No, you were too busy enjoying finally getting some peace and time away from the job that had been tiring you out.

But even in your time off, it seemed too much to ask of them to let you rest.

“-so I need your assessment of the project before we can move forwards…”

Your boss’ voice crackled over the line as you held your phone passively at your ear. Gulping as she rambled on about the practicality of your colleague’s design – when she was the one who had given the project to him when you really wanted it – you stared blankly at your notebook. Only one page remained filled. The simple design you had been thrilled with a couple of days ago now crumbled in your estimation.

Tell her you can’t do it. This is your time off. At least ask to be paid for it-

“Of course. I can do that,” you replied automatically.

Instant alarm bells started ringing in your head. You had to stick up for yourself before too much was loaded onto you-

“Wonderful, I’m sending them over now. Thanks a lot,” your boss spoke, line cutting off before you could so much as open your mouth.

Huffing, you flopped back onto your bed, where you had been sleeping peacefully before your ringing phone rudely awoke you. But you didn’t rest there for more than a few seconds before you were rolling yourself off and staggering over to dig out the laptop you hadn’t touched since leaving the city.

Opening up your emails, you saw the most recent one from your boss, but unfortunately your inbox was also rammed with several others you hadn’t bothered to check. You supposed you could never have expected to be completely away from work.

Resolving to check them later, you clicked on the first of the files from your boss. Already, you groaned, seeing that the plans were more extensive than you had believed over the phone.

You couldn’t deny that you accepted this too easily.

But then again, you never wanted to be seen slacking. Maybe if you did this, it would finally be noticed and you would be in line for the next promotion…

That was what you told yourself the last time too. And the time before that, and before that.

At this point, even the thought of actually being promoted didn’t fill you with the excitement it should. It was all you had worked for, and yet all you could think of was how much more work it would mean.

Attempting to shove away your heavy pile of thoughts, you focussed back on the task at hand.

Wrangling your brain into action, however, proved difficult. You realised too late that it should have been lunchtime, hurriedly trying to make yourself something while it was already halfway through the evening, sky darkening beyond your window. But even though it was getting later and you had been working all day, you had got next to nothing done.

Even the pattering of rain on your roof which began early on did little to ease the stress creeping back into its familiar residence in your brain.

Your head was spinning as you sliced up a pepper, not able to focus on the simple movement of your hands. You knew you should be looking at your work, but even as your mind hovered around the matter, you were unable to think straight as everything proved a dead end.

A sharp pinch shook you from your haze.

Hands stilling, you looked down to find a sliver of red already growing of your fingertip. Cursing, you threw down your cooking, turning to the sink.

The blood was swept away with the stream of water from your tap, showing only a miniscule cut, but your finger shook anyway. Staring down at the small line, even though it was clean now, your breath hitched in the back of your throat.

The rain, relentless on your roof, was the only sound muffling the sobs which left you as you hunched over the basin.

Letting your hand drop, you clutched onto the edge of the surface. You felt like a child; your computer was filled with demands, your head occupied with work, but you just didn’t want to.

Why couldn’t they just leave you be?

Some instinct within you had set your feet moving before your mind could catch up. Abandoning your laptop where its screen still passively illuminated a square of your desk, you were slipping shoes on, practically throwing your door aside with your sudden desperation to reach the outdoors.

The rain which immediately hit your skin hardly occurred to you. All you could manage was to breathe deeply in the saturated air.

You had succeeded in rediscovering some of the inspiration that led you to your current path; it had always been the beauty of your hometown, the countryside with its vast fields and open skies, the peace and the fury of the elements.

And maybe you had forgotten it, but now you knew it again you wanted to seize it with both hands. The pull of work only made you resent it more.

You had to escape.

And so your feet were taking you down your road, slipping on the track which had already begun turning to mud under the onslaught from the heavens.

You had barely left the glow of the last house on your street before water was running in streams down your cheeks, mingling with the salty tears that had been falling before. Hiccupping, you wrapped your arms around yourself.

Though you sniffed, you didn’t bother to wipe at your face.

But already the ruthless pelting of raindrops began to batter away the frustration that had been stirred in you. Still breathing heavily, you pressed unflinchingly on, your mind only able to focus on stepping forward through the storm.

Despite your lack of destination, your pace was rapid and soon you were stumbling between trees as you reached the forest. Here, the hammer of rain was lighter, plucking at leaves harmlessly and filling the air with the hollow chorus.

The oppressive feeling from sitting caged by your computer was fading. But now you weren’t sure whether your shaking was from your outburst or from the cold. Only, you couldn’t exactly bring yourself to care.

It wasn’t until now that your pace slowed in the least. Finally you were away from the pressing weight that had begun to crush you, even if it still remained waiting for you at home.

Weaving between trunks, your speed waned at last, allowing your fingers to trace along the wisened and cracked bark of each one. Even when you needed to blink repeatedly to gain clear sight from unshed tears and raindrops collecting on your lashes – even when your frame shook from head to toe, hair plastered against your skin – you finally felt free.

Having nature roar around you cast the demands of work, something that once loomed over you, far out of your sight.

Feet still tripping forwards, all it took was a toe catching on a root before your knees were meeting the earth.

Down here, the raindrops jostled the smaller plants that coated the forest floor. Looking up, you tried to wipe your hands, though it was fruitless against your sodden trousers.

But you paused in your motion as you caught sight of something.

Ahead of you, some tree roots twisted upwards, sculpted into a small arch. Although beyond that, you could see little, you rose slowly and stepped closer to it.

A few leftover tears leaked from your eyes, but they were indetectable as they slipped among the rainwater. Taking no notice, your eyes remained ahead as you reached the strange opening.

Ducking, you padded inside, not hurrying at all. It inspired a stiller pace for some reason.

The first thing you were aware of was the lack of rain falling on your back. Instead, the air was perfectly calm, only the distant pattering of water on leaves a reminder of the storm you had previously been in.

A few more steps and you found yourself in the centre of what appeared to be a large tree. Bark walls encircled the generous space, though it was obscured by the abundant greenery coating them decadently.

Tiredness was rapidly seeping into your bones now, and all you could think of the moss was how soft it looked, so tempting to your drooping eyes.

Exhaustion masked any shock you would otherwise have felt, then, when your eyes fell on a larger shape lying near the far wall. But this was not part of the tree, nor its foliage. Drawing nearer, you found it appeared to be furry. Enormous ears lay flat on the leafy ground where its head lay. Its round belly rose taller than you did from the ground, even though it was horizontal.

Staring through your bleary eyes, you merely chuckled at the unusual sight.

The creature inflated with each deep breath. It was sleeping.

You were sure you must be too, given what a funny dream you were having right now. But you were still so tired.

Without further thought, you let yourself tumble to the ground so you could rest, propped up against the forest creature. Indeed it was as soft as you had imagined looking at it.

Everything was peaceful as sleep embraced you at last.

Taehyung jerked awake, the whole house seemingly clamouring in his ears.

Eyes wide, he threw off his covers, though he wasn’t sure what he expected to do. The wind was hurtling through the air outside, hitting his house like a freight train. Windows shaking in their panes, bullets of rain still spattered against the glass.

Pulling his blanket with him, Taehyung retreated towards the main room. Although he stayed back from the windows, he still looked out, watching the vague shapes of dark trees as they attempted to uproot themselves in the blustering air.

He couldn’t deny being a little unnerved by the sudden ferocity of the weather. With a calming breath, however, he reminded himself of the true form of the wind. The image of the grinning cat brought a smile stretching across his own lips as well. It had been years since he had seen it, or the spirit Totoro and their friends.

But even if he was a child then, he clutched onto those memories, trying to keep them vivid as possible.

He was about to settle down on the sofa to wait out the noise when a different shape made itself known in the window.

Doing a double take hard enough to give him whiplash, Taehyung managed to keep himself from staggering backwards in shock. Blinking determinedly, he kept his eyes fixed on the familiar form as it drew closer into the light from his porch.

Although he knew they were real, he still found himself struggling to comprehend it.

This wasn’t another dream, another memory or image on his canvas. Pushed against all the walls in his study, and his bedroom too when they overflowed the space, images of the forest spirit were strewn about his living quarters. He could never forget it but…

Why would it come back?

A moment elapsed, Totoro’s huge frame blocking out much of the view behind them as they stared blankly down at Taehyung the way they always did. The pandemonium of the wind died away.

And then Tae’s senses kicked back in, and he was sprinting to the door, hurrying into the night because there was something else.

Totoro was carrying something-

No.

Someone.

Breathless, he stood on the step, taking in the figure cradled in Totoro’s arms. It was you.

He remained still, so Totoro moved forwards, towering above him. But Taehyung could never be intimidated, knowing this gentle giant well enough. Instead, his eyes remained on you as Totoro lowered you towards him.

You were clearly asleep, eyes shut and chest rising and falling evenly. But it was how on earth you came to be so, in Totoro’s arms, and now in front Tae’s house, that had his brow furrowing deeply.

Though water no longer sat on your skin, the dampness of your hair and clothes remained. You must be freezing.

However, as Tae hurried forward a couple more steps to reach out for you, a warmth engulfed him. Recognising the forest spirit’s familiar magic, a hint of a smile returned to his face.

Though Totoro now relinquished their grip, the magic remained cocooning you, making Taehyung able to hold you in his arms as you had been rendered weightless.

Straightening to their full colossal height, Totoro backed away. Still feeling that comforting magic wrap around the two of you, Taehyung smiled as he bowed, as deeply as he could with you in his arms. Totoro gave a little bob of their own before turning away.

For a short moment, Taehyung watched the spirit amble away. But you were the priority. Unsure how long the magic would last, he backed into the door to push it open and get you both inside. Looking around in mild panic, he settled on the first place he thought of and moved through to the bedroom.

Setting you down on the futon, he pushed your wet hair away from your forehead with his palm.

Next, he hovered for a moment.

Eventually he stood back, swallowing nervously as he watched you. It was still the middle of the night, and raindrops were splattering the window again, though less harsh than before.

Of course, his concern was still unsatisfied. If Totoro had found you, that could only mean you had been in the forest. But… why? At this time of night, you should be safely tucked away inside.

Well, at least you were now.

Sighing, he turned away to retrieve the blanket he had dragged to the living room. Collecting a few more cushions for good measure, he placed them down on the closer edge of the futon. It was big enough for him to sleep here too, while still leaving some distance between you.

After depositing his bedding, Tae made one more trip to the cupboard, bringing out a duvet. Though thick, it was very light. He liked to think of it as his ‘cloud duvet’.

Seating himself, he leaned across to you to cover you with his favourite duvet, but stopped short.

The hair lying on his pillows was already drying. So too were your pyjamas.

Sighing, he shook his head lightly and continued to throw the covers across your sleeping form.

He would get his answers in the morning. Settling down himself, Taehyung turned onto his side so his back faced you. For now you were okay, Totoro had made sure of that.

But aside from what had happened to you, one thing plagued his mind the most even as he closed his eyes.

Why had Totoro brought you to him?

Beams of light hung lazily in the air, only warded off by the thin fabric of Taehyung’s curtains. Blinking in the hazy morning, the usual hushed whisper of the forest greeted him, no trace of the furore of last night.

Except for the weight on the bed beside him.

Rubbing one hand across his face, he looked down at you. You remained nestled against the pillows, hair fanning out as the light cast it into rich colour. When his arm fell, it was perilously close to you, but he didn’t move it away.

Taehyung knew there was breakfast to be made and explanations to be had once he left the comfort of the bed.

Still, he lay unmoving, content to simply let his gaze roam your resting features. Warm light glowing against your skin showed it invitingly soft. His dark eyes traced your eyelashes where they rested, the gentle slope of your lips…

His breath hitched, a slight gasp lost in the fabric of his pillow.

At the first inclination of your lashes shifting, bringing you closer to wakefulness, he retreated, sliding out from his blanket and away to the kitchen. A puff of air left his lips as he willed his feet to fall noiselessly, leaving you to slumber.

He could easily blame the moment on his hazy awakening from sleep. He could pretend he only stayed next to you for want of staying warm in bed for a while longer.

Except he knew it would never be the truth.

You were truly breathtaking to him, painted perfectly in the dreamy morning light. All he could do was steer his thoughts away and turn them to preparing some breakfast.

And that was what roused you: the vague scent of steaming rice in the air and the odd clang of kitchenware from the other room. Rolling over as your eyelids cracked apart, you registered the indulgently soft duvet you were under, the scent of rain on the pillow.

It was already light, so you eased yourself to sit, stretching out your back with a quiet groan.

Vaguely, you remembered the sound of raindrops in the air, earth biting at your knees and a giant tree. It had certainly been a strange dream, you thought as you opened your eyes.

And paused, blinking.

This wasn’t your room. Hell, it wasn’t even your house.

From among the fluffy mountains of bedding, you slowly took in the place. Somehow, you weren’t exactly panicked by the position you found yourself, oddly comforted by the domestic sounds of cooking. You could guess where you were, and became more certain when your eyes fell on a row of assorted paintings propped against the wall.

When Taehyung poked his head into the bedroom, he found you awake and sat up. You had moved to the side of the bed, and were sitting cross legged as a hand delicately skimmed the surface of the nearest painting.

For a moment, he didn’t announce himself. Breathing deeply, his eyes rested fondly on the back of your head, ignoring the painting. He could see the artwork anytime, and he knew it well.

A vibrant green landscape of the forest, he had put Totoro and the other spirits dotted about the trees. Some were barely there, signifying how they protected the woods even though almost no one believed in them at all.

You must have sensed him, however, for you were snatching your hand back from the image and whirling around to face him.

“You alright there?” he smirked gently at your surprise.

“Yeah…” you murmured.

Noticing you chewing your lip, looking between him and the painting, Taehyung’s small smile faded a little. The confused tone you spoke with placed a light frown in its place.

“Yeah?” his low voice echoed.

Pushing himself away from the doorframe, he drew closer, hands dug into his pockets.

“That… that thing, in your drawing,” you frowned, staring right at it. “I dreamt about it.”

“Ah,” understanding dawned on Taehyung and he sat down beside you. Neither of you complained at the closeness as his leg pressed flush to your own. “That’s the forest spirit I told you about. Well, all of them are. But that’s Totoro.”

His tone had been anything but ridiculing, but still you looked around to find his expression genuine, eyes slightly creased at the corners in a vague smile.

“I-I don’t understand,” you breathed.

“You didn’t dream about them,” he leaned closer for emphasis, shifting to face you better, “it was real. Do you remember coming here?”

For a moment, you frowned, eyes escaping his as they seemed to look far away while you tried to recall. You came up empty.

“No…”

“That’s because Totoro brought you to me,” Taehyung went on, patient as before, “last night, they brought you in from the storm.”

He paused for a moment, wetting his lips as he gauged your reaction before carrying on:

“Do you remember why you were out? Did you fall asleep in the forest?”

Again, that look took over your face. Your gaze fell to your hands as they played with the hem of the duvet, untangling the mass of memories from the night before.

“I think… I must have done…” you frowned, then suddenly started. “Oh crap! I remember why I left! My boss is gonna kill me-“

Panicked, Taehyung placed his hands on your knees as you carried on rambling, starting to push the blankets away in your sudden rush.

“Hey, hey, Y/N slow down, what’s going on?”

“I-I got a call from work,” you hastily explained, “they need me to approve a set of designs and I said it was fine even though-“

“I thought you took the time off work?”

“I did, I did but I said yes anyway but then I just felt so… so- argh! I was so stressed all over again and I just wanted to get out…” the clarity you lacked the night before made you cringe as you pictured yourself walking down the muddy track in just pyjamas, heading into the trees in the middle of the night. You chuckled drily, “maybe not my wisest idea.”

“No,” Taehyung had to agree, inclining his head, “but you’re here right now. Work doesn’t need you this instant.”

Pulling your lower lip between your teeth, you weren’t quite sure if he spoke the truth. Either way, you decided you didn’t much care when the boy broke into a shy grin and offered a hopeful ‘stay for breakfast?’.

He had managed to cook without mishap this time, resulting in a self-satisfied grin which you could easily tell translated into an I-told-you-so.

Happily full after his meal, Taehyung told you that he was going to do some painting, but that you were welcome to stay. From someone else, you might not be sure if they meant it or were just saying it out of politeness, but Taehyung had already offered you a set of clothes and a hot drink.

You certainly didn’t want to go yet, and you dared to hope he wanted you to stay as well.

So you accepted his offer and settled on the sofa with a steaming mug of tea and a book you had plucked at random from the shelves. Meanwhile, Taehyung turned on an old fashioned radio, which crackled softly into life in the corner before filling the atmosphere with calm music.

You knew for a fact Tae had a study in his house, but he brought his materials out into the main room anyway. Neither of you needed to say much as he set to work and you sipped your tea, going about your tasks in the mutual comfort of shared space.

He was facing the window as he worked, allowing you a view of his progress.

In the end, you became far too distracted to make it far through the book at all, too busy watching colour fill up the blank spaces. The work had already been started, with just a wash of colour occupying the canvas.

Now, you got to watch as from the blur of colours and shapes came the form of a forest. But this one was not bathed in the glory of day, the colours dark and muted instead.

Smooth brushstrokes left in their wake a body of water, glittering stars scattered within it. The limited palette of the night-time scene was fascinating to you. At last, Tae’s brush was picking out the form of the spirit again, peering from behind the trees. Your mouth curved up into a smile.

As Taehyung stood back, brush clamped in his mouth as he assessed his work so far, you scrambled to flip over a chunk of pages in your book. Burying your face in it, your cheeks burned as you realised you had been staring this whole time.

“What do you think?”

Making an effort to look as surprised as possible, you turned back to find Tae beaming at you.

“I think it’s wonderful,” you assured him, “the colours, the water… everything.”

His eyes lit up, smile only growing wider.

“Thank you! You really think so?”

At your indulgent nod, he turned back with renewed enthusiasm to complete the side of the forest which had yet to emerge from the melange of colour.

“Shall I get us lunch?” you offered not long after, noticing that you had now been there for a few hours.

Though Tae was engrossed in his painting, nose almost pressed to the canvas as he detailed some leaves in the moonlight, he graced you with an appreciative smile and a nod.

Slipping away to the kitchen, you soon reacquainted yourself with where everything lived and got to work. It wasn’t long before your limited cooking skills had done their job. A brief call to Taehyung had him emerging in the doorway with a smile on his face, taking the bowl gratefully.

Once again you settled happily on the front step, taking in the tranquil forest. It had calmed to a mere breeze since the night before, the leaves rustling, bright green in the midday sun.

“I can see why you like it here,” you commented between mouthfuls, “it must be a great place to work.”

Taehyung hummed around his mouth of food, but soon swallowed and replied, head tilted as his eyes scanned the forest.

“It inspires me.”

“So does Totoro,” you smiled. However, it couldn’t be denied that you were digging for more information after your strange encounter.

An understanding smile curved Tae’s lips and he set his chopsticks down briefly.

“You’re right,” he nodded, “for me, they’re tied together with the forest. I haven’t seen them since I was younger, but this place keeps them alive in my imagination, I suppose.”

“Wow,” you breathed, “no wonder your work is so good, hmm? You really love this place.”

As you dug back into your food, Taehyung turned his smiling eyes to you. Though you didn’t meet his gaze, he held his breath. Chewing his lip, he wondered why he couldn’t shake that feeling that had overcome him that morning.

Eventually, he forced himself back to his food, shuffling an inch or so away from you for good measure.

“I think it’s important to have a good place,” he stated, still staring at his dish when you looked around, “a place that works for you, when you need to be creative. I’m sure you can understand that.”

“Yeah,” you nodded vaguely.

But though you never disagreed, you weren’t sure you did understand. And it struck you that perhaps you should. Previously, you had only cared about what your job title could be. Never had you focussed on where you were, convinced you could continue to force out designs the way you always had…

But right now, you thought you might share Tae’s view, the motion of the leaves and the gentle sun caressing them stirring up your long lost desire to create.

And the presence of a warm figure beside you, full of support, had you wishing perhaps a little too much that you could stay.

You couldn’t delude yourself for much longer, unfortunately. Inside, Taehyung was happy to leave your dishes on the side and his brushes out as he offered to walk you home.

However, when he proposed taking you ‘the scenic way’, you dared entertain the thought that perhaps he might like having you around, too.

Though you hadn’t been here for some time and thus your sense of direction was shaky at best, you could tell that Taehyung was leading you around to the other side of town, albeit through the forest. Neither of you were in any hurry to get there, instead enjoying the dappled shade of the woodland path, reams of laughter drifting through the tree trunks as you joked together.

A subtle ache had begun in your cheeks from the constant smiling. But as Tae broke from the path, insisting on building an ‘installation art piece’, you couldn’t bring yourself to stop.

Instead, you eagerly joined Taehyung as he ran giggling through the trees, scouring the floor for twigs and stones. If anyone else had seen you, it would certainly appear childish. Especially when Taehyung encouraged you to give him a leg up so he could reach a particularly beautiful fallen leaf that was lodged in the crook of a tree branch.

It was when he leapt down again with a subtle huff that you both burst into laughter again. Through the slits your eyes became as you creased with mirth, you caught a glimpse of a broad, boxy smile that robbed you of breath in an instant.

In front of you, Taehyung was chuckling, that beautiful smile still stretching at his lips. And once again, the urge to capture this moment swelled in you. You couldn’t take your eyes from him, simply trying to commit the image to memory with the unattainable hope that it would never fade away.

As he wiped one last tear, you hurriedly turned away, cursing the intense speed your heart had reached.

“What’s your plan, Van Gogh?” you joked, hoping he couldn’t see your sudden nerves.

“Not sure,” he replied happily. Fingers catching your wrist, he tugged you further on. Striding away towards the path ahead of you, he would never see the heat blooming in your face at the contact.

Flustered, you hurried after him, only to run into his back as he stopped without warning.

“Tae? Is-?”

Poking your head from your spot behind his shoulder, you too rapidly quieted.

Though it was not long since you last saw Totoro, the memory was a haze of rain and tears. Now, though, you gulped at the sight. The spirit was waddling along the pathway, each step somehow regal with its commanding size.

With wide eyes you turned to Taehyung. His side profile showed an awed smile, a shallow breath escaping him.

When the creature turned around, you stiffened. But beside you, Taehyung simply stepped forwards, leaving you staring between him and Totoro. Bowing briefly, Tae moved even closer while you hurried to observe the same manners.

Unaffected, Totoro simply turned, continuing their ambling journey through the woods.

Frown taking over your face and unsure what to do, you looked to Tae at your side. However, his expression had split into a joyful grin that obscured his eyes within creases, and before you could even open your mouth, he was dashing to follow the spirit.

Taken by surprise, you could do nothing but follow, tripping through the undergrowth until you spilled back out onto the path.

Laughter was bubbling from your lips before you could control it. Taehyung’s giggled soon mingled with yours in the air.

On reaching the spirit’s side, you slowed somewhat. Totoro accepted your presence with barely a look your way as they kept plodding onwards. What were small steps for the creature, however, took you at a surprising pace that had a sweat breaking from your forehead after a while.

“Tada!”

A flourish of Taehyung’s arms accompanied the first breaking of the companionable silence you had journeyed in.

Following where he gestured, your eyes lit up at the sight of glittering water.

“This was where we were going?”

“Yes! Do you remember it?”

A bounce had already entered Tae’s step, and he spun to talk to you while skipping backwards.

“Of course I do!” you nodded.

Just outside this village, the stream grew broader, creating a wide, flat brook. Countless afternoons of your childhood had been spent here, hopping over the stepping stones that lay above the water’s surface, or splashing in the shallow depths at the edges.

Despite the fuzzy heat of the evening, you found a little extra energy to race after Taehyung to the bank.

Within moments, he was kicking his shoes off and hopping into the glistening water. It only just came up to his ankles, close to the side where blades of grass drooped over, their tips disturbing the surface.

Sitting down for a breather, you also slipped off your shoes and dipped your feet in. Soothingly cool, the water brought relief against the heat you had worked up on the walk.

However, you never got much chance to rest as Taehyung stuck a hand directly under your nose. Scoffing, you took it anyway. In some small retribution, you aimed a kick in his direction once he had dragged you up, sending droplets of water showering over his legs.

Of course, you were instantly shrieking as he sent a playful, but much more powerful, wave of water back your way.

Though you were still aware of the large form of Totoro standing nearby, you were inexplicably more comfortable with their presence now. In fact, they faded to the back of your mind as you let yourself become preoccupied with the impromptu water fight that had your breathless laughs carrying over the rippling stream.

Eventually, you collapsed back onto the grassy bank, head thrown back as you breathed, heavy and exhilarated. For a moment, you simply let a gentle breeze soothe your skin.

When you looked back up, Taehyung snapped his eyes away from you so fast you were hardly sure you had caught them in the first place. Just as he turned away, a shadow fell over you.

Tipping your head back, you saw Totoro looking back down at you.

Before you could speak, let alone turn to face them, a bundle of sticks had fallen at your side, a couple rolling right up to your fingers where they rested. Picking the rough objects up, you looked back to the spirit quizzically. They were the sticks Taehyung had collected earlier, eventually carried here with him and left on the ground.

Then Totoro moved away, downstream a little.

Approaching you, Taehyung bent down to retrieve a few for himself.

“I think they want to play,” he smiled.

Totoro was watching you, almost expectantly. A smile quirked over your lips.

“I know this game!”

Side by side, you and Taehyung padded upstream a few paces, selecting a stick each.

“Three! Two! One!” he counted loudly, although you swore he dropped his stick a little before the last was called.

“Hey!” you shoved him playfully, but he was already taking off jogging towards Totoro.

You had lost sight of the slim shapes moving through the water, so you walked after him, groaning as Totoro held up the gnarled stick Taehyung had chosen.

“That’s not fair!” you tried to sound indignant, even going so far as to fold your arms, but laughter betrayed you.

Several rematches later, the sun was beginning to dip in earnest, and you had to admit it was time to get home. You were still closer to Tae’s house than yours, given the roundabout route you had taken.

As the light painted the sky darker, a few wisps of grey swirling below amber, the laughter died down at the prospect of going back home. Either way, there wasn’t much you could use as an excuse to stay here longer, so you slipped your shoes back on and began making your way over the stepping stones.

Taehyung went first, more steady on his feet while you slipped, taking a moment to get your footing on each one.

Totoro, on the other hand, simply watched you go.

Once, you turned back to give them a shy wave, but they didn’t move. Despite the muteness of the spirit, you thought it looked a little affronted at your leaving.

I’ll come back you promised silently with a smile.

Staring at the wonderful creature, you understood the fond firmness of belief Tae had described feeling about the forest spirits.

But with your eyes averted, your next step was not calculated. Suddenly there was no rock beneath your foot, leg slipping straight down the side as you whipped your attention to the front too late.

“Woah!”

A gasp left you as Taehyung’s exclamation faded from the air, his hands steadfast around your waist. Gulping at the sudden contact, you dared to look up. Dark eyes bore right back into your own and they weren’t breaking away.

“You okay?”

When the words left his lips, you felt them as breath drifting across your own more than you heard them.

You tried to nod, afraid that your noses would touch, close as you were. Somehow, though, you couldn’t look away. The hypnotising softness within his irises had you unsteady all over again as you placed your foot carefully back on stone.

Still, his hands stayed in place. And you didn’t want them to move away.

Tentatively, you breathed in, unable to help your gaze dipping to Taehyung’s temptingly plump lips.

He can’t have missed it. But you realised too late, returning your gaze to the safer, yet still perilous, territory of his eyes. Only to find him slightly further away, adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as his eyebrows raised slightly.

Snapping your mouth closed, you stiffened as horror set in. Was he uncomfortable? Had you revealed yourself?

But still he didn’t back away-

A yelp punctuated the air, startled from your own lungs with the impact of your body against Tae’s chest. In a split second, you were landing against something firm with a large splash in the relative quiet of the evening.

Gasping as cold water covered your back, you jerked only to find a strong arm circling you in its grip. Below you, a low rumble of laughter vibrated through your body.

Eyes widening, you realised you were lying pressed flush against Taehyung.

As the grip around you loosened, taking some warmth with it, you looked into Tae’s eyes which were once again creasing with mirth. He struggled to sit it the shallow stream, eventually ending up with you straddled on his lap as his arm remained looped casually around you. Despite the water, icier now in the deepening evening, heat was flaming in your cheeks.

Eager to twist around, you laid eyes on what had caused your unfortunate impact. Totoro stood in the water, unmoving as ever although they were quite clearly the only culprit in sight.

“What-?” you spluttered.

Still laughing, Taehyung helped ease you off him, keeping your hand clasped in his own as you both clambered to your feet. Water dripped from your hair, your legs and shoes sending miniature downfalls over the stepping stones as you returned to them.

“Have we angered the spirit?” you stage whispered to Taehyung, who laughed loudly.

“Sorry Totoro, we have to go home,” Tae sent a bow towards the creature. They blinked back.

Giggling slightly, you took a tentative step onto the next boulder. No sooner had you moved than the wind suddenly picked up around you, the waves in the brook growing more prominent as chill air ensnared your damp skin.

Taehyung cursed under his breath.

“It’s freezing,” he muttered, gritting his teeth.

Subconsciously, you huddled closer to him as he looked around – first at the path ahead and over the stream, then back towards the forest. Both of you seemed to gravitate to the latter, where leaves rioted in the air above the treetops.

As you stood in the wind, Taehyung’s arm had lifted to absently hold your waist. You felt him tug lightly.

“Maybe we should go back to mine. It’s still too far to your place, we might both freeze.”

“Are you sure?” you breathed, though you wanted to agree there and then, run back to his warm bed and not move for several hours. The way your voice came shakily with the shivers that began only confirmed Tae’s plan, and he was already setting off towards the riverbank.

“Very sure. Let’s get inside.”

Not needing to be told twice, you followed hastily, only connected to Tae by your fingertips that clutched each other as he led the way.

A particularly violent gust had your shoulders hunching. You were nearly at the side of the stream, and so you kept your focus for a moment longer on the rocks in front of you, before at last your feet met the grassy floor.

But on looking up, the sight that greeted you on the bank had your mouth hanging open.

What looked like a bus was standing in front of you. Or what would have looked like a bus, if not for the fact that it was smiling.

But after the day you had had, you made no protest as Tae told you it was okay to get in, merely accepting your fate with an incredulous sigh.

Tae’s hand on the small of your back as you stepped inside didn’t go unnoticed by you, but you let it slide. It was nice to be out of the cold, so you busied yourself with getting cosy on the seats that ran down the sides of the interior.

A jolt announced your departure. Looking around, you found Totoro hadn’t joined you, but watched you leave from the bank instead.

Turning back to the scene in front of you, you were surprised to note that no wind touched your frozen skin any more, despite the fact the windows on this bus seemed to be… well, non-existent. Beside you, Tae was leaning out slightly with a giddy grin lighting up his face, hand splayed in the air.

With a smile creeping onto your own face, you resigned yourself to the unexpected journey. Folding your arms against the side, you too stared out across the sky.

The treetops were far beneath you now, your whole village visible though it looked toy-sized from here. Wisps of clouds flew close overhead while your vantage point showed the glaring sun peeking above the horizon, illuminating your face with the last of the day’s warmth.

A glance to Taehyung showed his face bathed in the glow as well, painting his skin with molten gold that danced in his eyes and streaked through his hair like brushstrokes.

You couldn’t tear your eyes away.

Mindless to the risk of him catching you, you allowed your gaze to trail along his features, cast into striking light and shade. You longed to reach out, touch his hair. It looked indulgently soft, waving in a light breeze as you travelled.

All too soon, shadows were once again flitting over his cheeks as you were brought closer to the ground.

Awed smile remaining on his parted lips, he turned his face to you. Though you swallowed, you didn’t bother to look away, simply returning a smile. If possible, his seemed to soften even more at this.

Landing was softer than leaving the ground, barely a bump letting you know you were back on the earth. Since you sat down, lethargy had crept up on you, revealing how spent you were after the day outside.

Taehyung stood while you were still blinking groggily from your position laying on your arms.

“Come on,” a low chuckled accompanied the sliding of arms around you.

You complied, finding your feet and stepping out of the bus with a yawn. Without a moment to spare, the vehicle? creature? had leapt from the ground, soon whizzing out of sight.

Until you climbed the steps to Taehyung’s house, the cool air waking you sufficiently to slip off your shoes, you hadn’t noticed that your clothes had dried.

“They never stop with the surprises,” Taehyung’s low voice chuckled, making you look up.

You had been standing just inside the doorway, ogling your sleeves as if you might blink and find them soaking wet again in an instant. Meanwhile, Tae stood in the living room, one hand dug into a pocket as his other fingers slipped open the top button of his shirt with practised ease.

Gulping at the sight, you fixed your eyes back on his.

He simply smiled. Under one arm he gathered a blanket that had been strewn on the couch, but it was his free hand he held out to you, fingers outstretched, inviting.

Grateful, you stepped closer, inhaling the comforting scent of his home. You hadn’t noticed it before, but though your clothes were dry they still gave off the odour of river water, making the aroma of paints mingled with herbs and spices more prominent by contrast as you closed the space between you.

Hand closing around the offered blanket, you broke eye contact for the first time.

“This feels like a dream,” you murmured, head shaking lightly.

A beat of silence as Tae released his grip on the soft fabric, transferring it to your fingers.

“It does,” he whispered.

Had you looked up, you would have found his eyes still trained intently on you. So close, he bit his tongue, not trusting his voice further given the way his throat closed up, lending his deep voice more gravel than usual.

Stifling a yawn, you looked around, already pulling the blanket over your shoulders. Despite the quick journey and drying off, the chill of the outside lingered a little.

“Where do you want me?” you yawned.

Tae cleared his throat before he spoke, stepping away though he left his fingers tangled loosely with your own.

“The bedroom is fine, i-if you want to, that is,” he hastened to add, “we’re both tired. Let’s get some sleep.”

While normally your manners would have you protest at least a little, you had to admit how sleepy you were becoming. It was impossible to deny that Tae had just proposed exactly what you wanted, and so you let him lead you to the bedroom, where you sunk onto the futon as he gathered some clothes from his wardrobe.

Folded beside you, you handled them with reverent fingers, slipping out of your clothes once Tae had excused himself for the bathroom.

You reversed your tasks once more before you found yourself bundled in comforting blankets, the weight next to you a steadying influence in the darkness. Though you longed to reach out for him, trace your fingertips over his skin, hold him close-

you really were just too tired.

And maybe it was testament to the security of his presence that you were unable to act on your desires, sleep claiming you strongly instead, taking you quicker than you had managed in months.

Waking up, however, was a different story.

While the exhaustion of yesterday had muffled any thoughts beyond wanting to sleep, today your mind was overflowing even as you first blinked at the pale light.

Beside you, Taehyung still lay sleeping. You were simultaneously aware of his peaceful beauty, and the panic with which you found yourself revelling in it. It seemed you had become a little too attached to him. Maybe this had all been a mistake…

Also in the back of your mind, though rapidly elbowing its way to the forefront, was the fact you hadn’t been home for an entire day. Your phone was still there; who knew how many work calls you might have missed?

Though you couldn’t quite find it in yourself to regret turning away from it, you couldn’t shake the itching responsibility to get back and see what mess awaited.

But at the same time, that terrified you beyond belief.

Most of all, however, your mind was swimming with colours. Shapes, snippets of designs floated in your brain. You weren’t sure when the last time that had happened was. You used to dream up your designs, when you were still beginning your career, desperate to create.

And though there were many scary things waiting for you, this revelation, this newfound desire to design again, lent your limbs new strength as you rolled from the bed.

Reclaiming your clothes from last night was first up; Tae had draped them over kitchen chairs to air out, but the smell lingered a little. It didn’t bother you too much, so you dressed quickly.

It was then that the soft creaking of floorboards caught your attention. You turned just in time to see Tae emerge from the bedroom, eyes barely cracked open while his lips were puffed out in an adorable pout, clearly only half-awake.

Stopping with an arm on the doorframe, hair flopping haphazardly around his face, he squinted across at you.

“Where are you going?” his low voice still rumbled in his throat, dry with disuse this morning.

Silently moving, you quickly padded across the floor towards him. None of the curtains were open yet, the watery morning light permeating the air tentatively.

In this dim space, you had the courage to lift your palms to press against his cheeks. On meeting his big eyes that stared across at you, you swallowed.

“There’s something I have to do,” you breathed, gaze skimming down his face as he watched you. Despite his bewildered state this early in the day, he was beginning to become more alert at your words.

Slowly, his fingers lifted to wrap gently around your wrist.

“Okay,” his voice remained husky, “but… you’ll come back?”

You tore your eyes from where they had focussed, without your consent, on his lips, to return his intent stare.

“Of course I will,” you whispered, mouth turning up at the corners.

For a moment, your breathing hitched. Such close distance between you two was becoming frequent, but you were far from used to it. Your cheeks still heated up, breath shallow as you savoured the softness of his skin under your hand.

Your eyes slid closed. In the relative darkness that encapsulated you, it was easy to think wishfully, imagine leaning closer in this timeless space where no one would see…

But then the moment passed, your hand slipping inconsequentially from his lingering grip.

Bringing your hand back to your side, you squeezed a smile his way and took a step backwards.

Then another.

He remained standing there as your pace sped up, and soon you were out of the door. As it closed behind you, you swore you could have seen a large pair of eyes blinking from between the trees.

Knowing what you did now, you couldn’t write it off, but neither did you pay any more attention, feeling a strange weightlessness as you trod the path to your house.

Going the short way this time, it didn’t take you long as you walked the tracks beside the glistening rice fields and farmland. Workers were already out, having risen with the sun which had fully emerged from the trees by now. As you passed, you exchanged nods and waves, smiling and giving good greetings to all you looked up at you.

Quiet fell again once you reached your road.

A nervous chill ran through you, but there was a thrill to it.

Approaching your house, you found two figures standing outside. With a frown, you drew closer.

“Auntie?” you called, making the women turn to you, “Mei?”

Mei’s warm face formed a friendly smile while your aunt beside her gawked. Recovering from her shook, she hurried to you, grasping your hands as your received her with confusion.

“Mei told me you were at Kim Taehyung’s? Is that true?”

With a glance to the old lady, you confirmed.

“That’s a relief,” your aunt laughed, “I came around yesterday to find you gone! You even left your phone!”

She was holding it out to you. Smiling weakly, you suddenly felt the weight of her watching you. Thankfully, Mei began to walk back towards her house, lessening your audience.

Sure enough, when you powered your phone on, it was instantly lighting up, ping after ping flooding your screen with notifications, calls and messages.

A frown made your aunt’s concern clear, but even you surprised yourself with your confidence as you simply grinned back.

“I have it under control,” you assured her, and walked up your steps to the door.

Inside, you took a breath, but could put it off no more. Beyond the fear of what you were about to do, lay the images of your home, the expansive fields and forests that had always been your source of inspiration. And now, a giant, friendly forest spirit-

And a hand, resting in yours.

The dial tone filled your ears, and you took a seat. Your notebook was still atop your desk, thrown aside to make way for your laptop, sat open with its screen dead. Nor had you disposed of your instant food wrappers-

“Y/N,” a stern voice crackled through the line. Your boss. “Where are those plans I asked you for?”

Though she couldn’t see you, you brought a smile to your face, summoned to lend you confidence.

“I’m sorry,” you quickly apologised, already hearing the reprimand on her lips, “but something came up. And I… I have something to tell you.”

A sigh.

“Go on.”

“Well… I’ve been thinking. I appreciate all the opportunities I’ve had with this company, but I don’t think it’s taking me where I would like to go-“

“Y/N!” you weren’t sure you had ever heard so much emotion in your boss’ voice. Her voice rang with pure shock, “Do you mean to say-?”

“This is me, handing in my notice,” you spoke clearly, “thank you.”

Silence stretched out for longer than you could comfortably take. But, should you need to, you were ready to repeat yourself. Somewhere on the other line, you heard a muffled voice trying to get your boss’ attention, but it was soon gone again. You knew well the dismissive wave that person will have received.

“Very well,” she spoke at last.

And with that acceptance, you felt like you were floating.

There was a spring in your step even as you cleaned up the mess you had left behind, the whole time itching to get your hands on your pens and brushes.

You had quit. You had quit!

For so long, the notion would never have crossed your mind, the prospect of giving up too terrifying to consider. But you weren’t giving up, not at all. Maybe you were giving up on what you thought you wanted. Or what you had wanted, once upon a time, but now no longer fit you.

Instead of guilt or fear, you were filled with excitement. You knew what you wanted.

And you were halfway there.

This, however, was the easy part. No matter how hard it may be to rebuild your career, starting afresh, none of those obstacles scared you quite as much as the next thought to enter your mind.

Taehyung.

But you had promised him you would come back.

And perhaps one upheaval was enough for one day, you thought as you gathered your sketchbook, your paints. You could afford to hide from your feelings for a little longer, right?

You certainly couldn’t deny them, but you were afraid to admit them. Who knew what could happen then? You dared not hope for them being returned, and concluded to let yourself enjoy time with Tae for now.

After all, you were so excited to create, an almost alien passion that you were thrilled to welcome back.

And you could think of no one better to share this joy with. Taehyung was an artist too; he would understand.

Not far from Tae’s house, back past the open farmland, a familiar shape dominated the path in front of you. The sight of Totoro brought a smile to your face, reminding you of all the magic you had discovered in this place since you returned.

What you hadn’t quite expected was for them to be waiting for you. Unsure what to do, you settled for a quick bow and a quiet ‘hello’ as you continued.

Walking past the spirit, it just watched you for an extended moment before following along behind.

Taehyung was at the kitchen window when you arrived, and saw you coming. A boxy smile lit up his face before it disappeared from the window, emerging only seconds later in the doorway, a pair of paintbrushes clutched in his hand and dripping onto the porch. The day had bloomed into gorgeous full sun, and he held his hand up to shield his eyes from it as he watched you arrive.

A glance behind you confirmed Totoro was still following.

“They were standing around outside all morning,” Tae began talking, coming down the steps to meet you, “thought they wanted me to come into the forest, but when I tried, they walked even further down that way. What do you think’s got into them?”

“Beats me,” you shrugged, “but they seem happy enough now.”

Sure enough, Totoro had retreated a little further towards the treeline, still watching you both. For a moment, you and Tae both twisted around, looking back at the creature.

“Anyway…” you laughed.

Joining in, Tae led the way back inside, wiping his brushes against his trousers.

“Did you do what you needed to?” he asked, back facing you. The art supplies in your arms hadn’t gone unnoticed, and he was pulling out a chair to place next to his own setup.

“Yeah,” you hummed, setting your things down, “I, er- I quit my job.”

Brows lifting, Tae straightened up to face you. But his mouth soon slid into a bright smirk.

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah,” you breathed. You couldn’t keep your own beaming smile away from your face.

His eyes lingered on you for a moment longer.

“So you’re going to be around here for a while, then?”

“Yeah,” you smiled warmly, “I think I am.”

Over the next few hours, the image you had hoped for came to life. Sitting side by side, you and Tae both went about your works in pleasureable silence. Him, hidden behind an easel and periodically popping his head around it to survey they scenery, and you, meagre sketchbook propped on a cluttered desk.

It was perfect.

And finally, your creative energy was allowed to burst forth. For the first time since you were a student, you drew. And drew. And drew.

Pages seemed to fill themselves up, and if some thoughts were still unpolished, at least they were here, proof that you had never lost your spark, the spark which the fruitless toil of your old workplace had stamped out. Maybe you had just lost your way, temporarily.

And for that short afternoon, you were able to push all other thoughts from your mind. Especially those pertaining to a certain fluffy-haired artist with a boxy smile.

But even having half your worries settled was a relief.

That night, you returned home. Though you slept easier than the last time you were in this bed, you were ashamed of how much you longed for Tae’s presence next to you. Even when you had slept silently, barely touching save for the odd brush of an arm or leg when you rolled over, it was a grounding relief to have him there.

Luckily, you hadn’t even had to ask him yesterday if you could drop by again; he had leapt on the chance to invite you himself.

So you didn’t dwell on the way you reached out when you woke up, expecting to find a warm presence under the blankets with you. Instead, you happily climbed out of bed, ready to repeat your routine from yesterday.

This time, you at least brought some snacks along from your kitchen.

Today brought a large dose of d ja-vu along with it. Totoro was once again waiting for you, expectant. It took you off guard, but slipped your mind once you were back at Tae’s side, happily working for the remainder of the morning.

But Totoro didn’t give up. Those large eyes blinked through the window when the two of you went to prepare food.

“Do you want attention?” you chuckled, knowing you wouldn’t receive an answer.

“What do you say?” Tae’s low voice grew closer, “fancy a break outside?”

You were prevented from replying when his breath fell across your neck, causing you to stiffen. But he simply leaned over, hooking his chin lazily on your shoulder as he dropped another spoon into the sink where you were washing up.

“Y/N?” he frowned when met with your silence, small pout forming as he drew back to look at you.

You shook yourself.

“What? Oh, yes,” you tripped over your tongue, “that sounds great. Looks like Totoro would appreciate that too.”

With a laugh, Tae wiped his hands on a cloth.

“I’ll go get changed.”

Not long later, you were surrounded by trees, bathed now in deep shade that shielded you from the midday sun. Totoro had seemingly been satisfied by your attention, as they had followed you on your walk without protest.

Not that you were sure how they would protest if they wanted to, but your point stands.

It was strange how accustomed you were to the spirit by now, no longer staring over your shoulder at the creature. Instead, you were preoccupied by Tae as he ran, giggling, towards a tree with the perfect low-hanging branches for climbing.

By the time you had reached him, he was dangling, sloth-style, so that he was level with your head. His grin was just as goofy upside-down, and you swatted at his soft hair as it hung off his reddening face.

“Budge up,” you grinned, trying to hoist yourself up as well.

You had succeeded in getting onto the first branch when Totoro appeared by the base of the tree. Smiling down at them, you waited for Tae to clamber up to the next bough.

The moment you looked back to him, however, you felt a strange tug, shrieking when you found no branch below your feet. Looking about wildly, your feet flailed, scrabbling for any kind of purchase.

From where he hung onto a branch, Taehyung looked down sharply in a panic, but instead found you level with him.

Wide eyes stared at one another until the same feeling clutched at Tae, stomach dropping as he was miraculously lifted from his perch.

A look behind you showed Totoro still right there, also floating. One arm was holding you, Tae’s hand clutching the other. As you blinked in mute shock at the spirit, they opened their mouth, stretching into a wide grin. Laughter floated past your lips at the sight.

Somehow, you dodged the branches crossing your path as you ascended, though they grew sparser as you carried on upwards. Unlike your journey in the bus, you could feel a breeze coursing past you now.

Gaping in disbelief, you found Tae again, reaching out to him. Your expression was mirrored on his, and he eagerly entwined your free hands, smile softening as you were brought closer in the air.

And as you floated high above the ground, you somehow felt little difference than the way you always did when Tae was beside you, hand resting in your own.

You laughed again, a sound of pure joy, forgetting the spirit carrying you as you simply watched his eyes. Among the cool breeze, you felt a slight tickle of warmth from his breath.

As you watched, his smile slowly melted from his lips, captivated instead by your stare, though he looked no less peaceful.

But just as distant hills could be revealed beyond the thinning leaves, you felt a warm hold loosening around you. You hadn’t even noticed it, but now it was retracting, you could feel the spirit’s magic clearly and panicked. In an instant, you had grabbed the nearest branch, which was surprisingly sturdy.

In your rush, your hand had slipped from Tae’s, but a shudder of the branch told you he had also caught hold of it.

The calming magic slipped away completely.

Now clutching the tree for dear life, you looked down, but Totoro was nowhere to be seen. Squeezing your eyes shut, you sucked in a deep breath. Then, with a surge of energy, you swung further onto the branch, ignoring the way it lurched, to give you a steadier sitting place.

“You alright?” you panted.

Only a grunt answered you as Tae copied your action.

As he righted himself, you caught an uneasy wobble in his expression, instinctively holding out a hand.

“Come here.”

Gladly taking it, Taehyung’s shoulders lowered, easing a bit once you were connected. Waiting for him, you shimmied a short distance to rest where the branch met the trunk. On reaching you, Tae pressed closer, shoulder up against your own.

Smiling fondly, you twisted so you could reach your arms around him loosely.

“It’s okay,” you whispered, though you had no idea what had just happened.

“Not a fan of heights,” he murmured, but his deep voice did not seem panicked.

“At least it’s pretty,” you pointed out, nudging him the smallest amount to avoid toppling.

You were right. Between picture frames formed by intertwining branches, the land stretched out in the brilliant light. The same land that had always inspired you. How could you bring yourself to be irritated at Totoro for bringing you here?

“You seem remarkably calm,” a chuckle rumbled through Tae’s chest.

“I’m not sure anything else can surprise me now.”

He smiled, turning towards you. In this position, though, you were intimately close, his nose barely an inch from your own once he had twisted to look into your eyes. Inhaling sharply, you gripped the tree trunk harder.

“Why do you think they brought us here?”

“I don’t know,” you whispered, not trusting your voice, “but they wouldn’t hurt us.”

“I know that,” Taehyung nodded, gaze dropping enough for you to deflate again.

Still holding onto each other like it was the most natural thing, you eyed the landscape for a little while longer, allowing quiet to elapse.

But this proximity wasn’t doing you any favours. Though you were sure Tae was oblivious, your heart was beating erratically, unable to forget his presence. All the thoughts that had occupied you lately were flooding in, except this time there was no escape.

Literally.

You were stuck in this tree next to the man who drove you crazy any time he looked your way. The man you were dying to spend time with the moment you woke up each day. The man who accepted you, supported you, reminded you where your true passion lay.

No, you couldn’t take this.

“Hey,” a low voice brushed your earlobe, just moments before a gentle finger found your chin, bringing it up.

You had barely noticed your gaze falling from the view in front of you while you lost yourself in useless circles of thought. Now, you couldn’t look away as shining dark eyes captivated your own.

“What are you thinking about?” Taehyung asked, lips curving upwards.

Licking your lips, you tore your eyes away. This was too much for your poor heart.

“Y/N?” he ducked to catch your eyes, brow creasing.

You were too weak for this boy. As soon as you saw the slight displeasure on his face, you longed to chase it away.

You sighed.

“You…”

Nearly as quiet as the breeze, you half hoped your admission would be carried away. But as you bit your tongue, daring to look up, you knew Tae had heard. His smile grew, though he tilted his head questioningly.

“What about me?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know,” you grinned, looking away again. This was too risky. Maybe he would buy the joke and drop it before you made a fool of yourself-

“I was thinking about you too.”

You blinked.

“You were?”

He hummed, not a trace of insincerity in his large eyes as he nodded.

“Well…” you picked subconsciously at your sleeve, “what were you thinking about?”

“Nosy,” he griped, taking a light swipe at your nose with his forefinger.

Succeeding in bringing a smile to your face as you jerked your head away with a laugh, he sighed, shuffling closer indetectably.

“I was wondering… maybe Totoro did this because of you-“ just as you gaped indignantly, he hurried on “-because of us. They put us up here… together.”

“Oh. Yeah,” you nodded, brow furrowing.

“But even if- if that’s not the case…”

Taehyung trailed off, bringing your attention back to him. He wet his lips, sucking his lower one between worrying teeth before meeting your eyes again.

“We’re alone and, well… I was wondering what it would be like to kiss you.”

That knocked all the air out of your lungs. You sucked a shaky breath, then out.

“What it would be like?” you echoed.

He nodded, gulping.

And then something snapped. Unable to stand it anymore, you slid your hand to his jaw, the next moment surging forwards, lips colliding desperately.

His arms tugged you closer instantly, pulling you against him, fingers grasping at your waist hungrily as he titled his head to meet you. And heaven, it felt amazing. His lips were as soft as they looked, leaving you lapping at them with desire as his caressed yours just as dreamily, simultaneously intense with longing pressure and gentle with reverence.

Caving to him completely, you let yourself mould to his embrace. The flowing wind around you, the rustling of the leaves were utterly driven from your mind by the maddening nudge of his tongue, prompting you to deepen the kiss.

But though your fingers still clutched his jaw desperately, you were forced to break the kiss, falling away giddy and breathless.

Tae lifted a hand to your hair as well, stroking it soothingly as he pulled you close again, foreheads touching.

“Well…” you were the first to recover your voice, “I think it would feel something like that.”

A smile burst onto his face, dominating your vision, no doubt a copy of your own ecstatic grin.

Almost immediately, a strong wind ripped through the treetops. Wiping the smile from your face, you gripped tighter to both the tree and to Taehyung.

He looked around.

Following his gaze, sure enough, you were met with two large eyes staring innocently back at you.

A beat consisted of you blinking at one another in silence, before a gasping laugh burst from your mouth. Clapping a hand over it, you met Tae’s eyes, also finding him dissolve into laughter that creased his eyes.

“Looks like you were right,” you chuckled as the warm magic began to lift you once again.

“You were just waiting for us to confess!” Tae cried.

But the wide smile on his face as he pulled you closer mid-flight showed he was far from outraged.

That night saw you tumbling at last into the same bed as Tae again. You didn’t want to leave, and you never had to.

Over time, you moved in, your own things settling among the paintings, brushes and pots that filled Tae’s house. Your house.

Every day you would see the trees, feel the wind through your hair and the sun glowing between the forest branches – the very place where you had finally given into the love binding you.

And you drew. You drew and drew, and designed until you were making a name in your own right. People would ask you about the distinctive round creatures that commonly featured in your designs. Of course, you would always laugh, a familiar sound that you shared with your boyfriend, keeping the unofficial secret between yourselves.

The two of you knew, not only the forest spirits, but the dust bunnies and flurries of wind that snaked through the roof timbers on the coldest nights. And then, you could always be assured of a warm presence beside you, to hold you through the night.

But above all, you got to see that glorious smile every day, never fading from your life.

You could breathe again.

Thank you for reading! If you want more, there is a follow up drabble here. Come chat with me if you enjoyed it!

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2manyfandoms2count · 3 years

Text

Love you (not) - Chapter 2

Cheating a little today because I couldn't think of a way to fit a Ghibli AU in the fic. Anyway, thanks to @marichatmay for finally making me watch some Ghibli classics, aka Kiki's delivery service and Howl's Moving Castle. They'd been on my watchlist for far too long!

Hope you enjoy this chapter!

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Chapter 2: In which Chat Noir and Marinette struggle to hold a conversation without flirting

Chat Noir doubted that he’d ever laughed as much as he’d laughed during his lunch at the Dupain-Chengs. Marinette’s parents had just been so warm and welcoming, that he’d started to wonder if the relationship Marinette and her parents had was extraordinary, or if his vision was simply skewered by his father’s absence. He’d come to the conclusion that it was probably a bit of both; he remembered having fun with his mother as well, but there was something truly special about the way Marinette relaxed in this environment.

He doubted that he’d ever seen her so carefree (between bouts of almost fake embarrassment when Tom’s jokes got too bad for her taste; she kind of shared Ladybug’s facial expression when it came to those) in the relatively short time they’d known each other. He really appreciated her letting him see this part of her, and letting him into her family and her happiness.

This was why, after lunch was over and he really should have been heading home to study up on his Chinese, he’d accepted Marinette’s suggestion to stay a little longer, given the rain that was still pouring outside. There was just something about the prospect of spending more time with Marinette that warmed his heart; and, thinking about it, what harm could a couple more hours do? They’d hang out a bit, Marinette would probably realise that she’d been in love with an image more than with him all this time, and they would part ways as friends at the end of the day. Easy.

Alas, the plan had started to crumble the moment they’d decided to watch a movie together. Tom and Sabine had gone to take a nap after the copious meal (Tom really had gone all out on the courses), and he and Marinette had been left awkwardly standing around, twiddling their thumbs as they tried to figure out what to do.

Chat had spotted Marinette’s Howl’s moving castle DVD under the TV stand as his gaze wandered around the room, and he’d commented that it had been a while since he’d watched it. Marinette had jumped on the occasion, relieved that an idea had been handed to her.

She’d set up the movie and then had sat on one end of the couch, while Chat Noir sat on the other. So far, so good.

Things had started getting difficult when Sophie had entered Howl’s castle, and Marinette, whether by empathy or pure coincidence, had felt a draft and had moved to the angle of the couch - closer to him, although they were still far enough apart that he couldn’t consider it making a move - to escape it.

When that didn’t work to make her feel warmer, she’d whipped a blanket out of seemingly thin air and wrapped herself comfortably in it.

By that point, despite his supposedly thermal suit, Chat Noir had also started feeling cold, and had scooted a little closer so he could slide his feet under a corner of the blanket that wasn’t tucked under his friend. Marinette had then spotted his apparent discomfort, and before he knew it, he was buried under the blanket with her, and although there was still space between them, their shoulders definitely knocked against each other if they moved a bit.

The movie had been captivating enough that neither of them had focused too much on that fact while they watched the plot unfold, but Marinette was suddenly very aware of their situation when the credits started rolling. She wasn’t sure how to get out of it without her partner feeling pushed away, but supposed that sparking a conversation would probably help.

“So…” She turned towards him, stretching a little as she did so and seizing the opportunity to move a little further away from him. "Have you seen many Ghibli movies?" She cringed slightly at the question. Her social skills really seemed to have taken the day off.

"Yep," Chat said with a proud smile. "In fact, I think I've seen them all!"

"Oh, neat!" Marinette smiled, trying to find a good follow-up question. “Erm... so, who do you think you’d be in the Ghibli universe, then?”

He paused to think about it, a pensive pout on his lips, adjusting the blanket around him to close the gap her movement had allowed to form as he did. “That’s a very good question, to which I don’t have an answer.” He shrugged. Suddenly, all the characters he'd ever related to seemed to have evaded him; one character stood out as he looked at Marinette, though, and he supposed it was good enough to keep the conversation going. “You, on the other hand, would totally be Kiki.”

Marinette crossed her arms over her chest and huffed. “That’s just because I’m small, I have black hair, and I hang out with a talking cat.”

“You wound me, Purr-incess. Those are very superficial arguments.” Chat’s hand flew briefly to his chest, before he realised she wouldn’t see it under the blanket. “Those are some good points, but I actually thought that because you live above a bakery and you sometimes work there, you’re kind of clumsy... In a cute way, don’t worry!” He added quickly when he saw her roll her eyes, before widening his own as he realised what he’d just said. He felt his cheeks warm up under his mask. Marinette looked away, pink dusting her cheeks. So much for keeping things entirely platonic. This wasn’t sending the right message at all. “...And you’re always willing to help people, generally with pretty original plans.” He concluded after clearing his throat.

Marinette and Kiki also shared strong first opinions, he didn’t add. He hadn’t been scorned as long as Tombo had in the movie, granted, but he felt a certain connection to the boy nonetheless, probably because they both also shared a liking for clowning around. He couldn’t say anything about it without revealing too much, though; and he wasn’t sure that comparing himself to a character who had a crush on the character he was comparing her to would be a very good idea.

“So actually, I guess I would be Jiji, then. After all, as you said, I am a talking black cat.”

“You’re a little more than that, though.” Marinette snorted. “I actually think you’d make a fine Howl; you have this protector instinct, even though you seem to like putting yourself in danger - don’t think I don’t read the Ladyblog.” She shot him a pointed look. “But you’re also just both kind and generous, you know?And you obviously have a penchant for justice.”

Chat Noir felt his heart flutter in his chest at the compliments. Marinette really was too nice.

“Also, I guess you do look like him. If you let your hair grow, you really could pull off his cosplay.” She looked at him, head tilted as she started imagining what kind of outfit she could make for him.

“Is that you saying I’m handsome?” Chat waggled his eyebrows, before freezing. He needed to stop sounding this flirty with Marinette. It would just feed her hope, and that simply couldn’t do. He needed to make it clear to her that she was just a friend.

“I mean… it’s not like you’re unpleasant to look at…” Marinette trailed off, before realising what she’d said. She cleared her throat. “But whatever, will you just stop hogging the blanket?” She pulled on her side of it, hoping she could cover her blush with it somehow.

“I’m not! It’s just too small for us both!” Chat tucked his side under him so she wouldn’t take it.

“Fine then, I’ll just have to move closer to you,” Marinette said, looking him straight in the eye.

“Fine by me,” Chat Noir said in spite of himself, part of him screaming that it would have been the perfect excuse to say something about not liking her that way, or even to leave.

“Fine.” Marinette scooted as close to him as possible. Their bodies touched from the shoulder to their feet. What am I doing? She thought as she registered that fact. This is not how I'd seen the day going at all. “Erm… Want to watch something else on Netflix?” She added, thinking it could only make things less weird.

“Sounds good to me!” Chat gulped next to her. He told himself he'd stay a little more to defuse the slight awkwardness, but promised himself to tell her how he felt before crossing her door to go home. “Maybe we could watch Kiki’s delivery service , since we were talking about it?”

“Sure.”

The pair only got through part of the movie; Tom and Sabine emerged from their room for tea before they’d even reached the halfway mark, and as much as Chat Noir was tempted to stay for the macarons, the excuse to get back was just too good. It would probably be a miracle if Nathalie hadn't already come up to his room to check on him, and if she hadn't he was probably due a visit at any moment. Sabine insisted that he took some leftovers back with him, and he was so touched by the attention that the one thing he’d promised himself he’d do slipped his mind.

He was halfway home when he realised it; he'd been so preoccupied by thanking her parents and her, that he'd forgotten to talk to Marinette one last time, to tell her not to get her hopes up.

Guess I'll have to go back sometime next week, then, he sighed as he popped a macaron into his mouth. Oh, well.

#in retrospect i could have made marinette compare herself to sophie for the crush parallel #oh well #marichat may #marichat may 2021 #miraculous ladybug #the miraculous tales of ladybug and cat noir #ml #miraculous fanfiction #miraculous fanfic #marichat #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #day 2: ghibli au #elle writes #love you (not)

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rune-writes · 3 years

Text

A New Beginning

Fandom: Studio Ghibli | Mononoke Hime

Word count: 1988

Rating: G

Summary: It's been months since the Deer God's demise and the woods are thriving again. One evening, after a day's work of rebuilding a new village, Ashitaka visits San in the forest as per his promise, bringing with him a meal the villagers made for her.

Note: this is a piece I wrote for @ghiblicookbook. I got to write about Princess Mononoke with dinner as the main theme.

Read on AO3.

~*~*~*~*~

The forest was quiet that evening. Nothing but the sound of the hooting owl, the rustles of leaves against the breeze, and the rhythmic thudding of Yakul’s hooves against the ground. The kodamas were watching with their smiles on their white illuminated bodies, the soft clicking of their shaking heads filling his senses. It had been several months since the men tried to take the Deer God’s head, and now the woods were thriving again.

Ashitaka was on his way to San’s home, riding on his elk as it made its way over uneven ground and upturned roots. Their path lit only by the moonlight filtered in through the gaps in the dark foliage. It had been a while since he was last there. Rebuilding a new village in the mountains hadn’t been an easy task.

However, that evening, just a little after sunset, Ashitaka’s work had finished unexpectedly early, and he wanted to see how San was doing. He was leading Yakul out of the stable by the reins when Eboshi called for him.

“Are you going to see the Wolf Girl?” Eboshi asked.

“San,” Ashitaka corrected. At Eboshi’s raised brow, he repeated himself. “Her name is San.”

Eboshi cleared her throat. “Yes, San, then. Are you going to see San?”

“Yes.”

Eboshi didn’t say anything. She only turned her head and nodded over her shoulder. Toki stepped forward from behind her, carrying a box wrapped in a modest red cloth.

“Dinner,” Toki explained. “From us. To her.” A genuine smile. “You haven’t had any, right? It’s enough for two.”

“Thank you,” Ashitaka said. He took the box from her. It was heavy.

“A peace offering,” Eboshi elaborated. Ashitaka looked at her and was surprised to see the prideful lady grimacing. “I doubt she would accept it readily, but this is a start.”

I see.

Ashitaka tightened his grip on the box, feeling it weighed down with the responsibility it carried. “I will relay your message,” he promised.

Eboshi smiled. “Thank you, Ashitaka. I’m sorry for making your leisure trip into one of an envoy.”

Ashitaka laughed at that. In all honesty, he had long since felt that he was an envoy between the Ironworks people and the Forest Gods.

The line of trees fell away and the path Ashitaka treaded with Yakul opened into a hill and rocky outcrop. Up a series of boulders stacked high against each other, his elk trotted upwards to the grassy patch near the top. An opening between the rocks led to the cave where San slept at night. It was empty. No signs of fire, flint, or stone. Not even any sign of her white wolves. Only the undisturbed bed of leaves that made up the cave floor.

Ashitaka headed out to the jutting rock overlooking the mountains, wondering if he could spot San among the darkness. But there were only the clear sky and the cool night wind greeting him as he stood by the ledge.

Instead of eating her, I raised her as my own, a voice rose from the distant reaches of his memories. My poor, ugly, beautiful daughter.

Ashitaka looked up, almost expecting to see the great white wolf lounging on the boulder’s flat surface above him, her eyes filled with reproach, asking him a question he couldn’t answer. How could you help her? But the space was empty. Moro was nowhere to be found.

Ashitaka felt the weight of the wrapped box in his hands. He hadn’t been able to answer that question before; he didn’t know if he had the answer now. But he had promised Moro he would save San, and that was what he was going to do.

“Ashitaka?”

The soft call came from behind him. Ashitaka looked over his shoulder and found San emerging from the cave’s mouth. He smiled at her. “You’re back.”

“Yeah,” San replied, joining him by the ledge. “I was surprised to find Yakul outside, but here you are.” A quiet laugh. “What brings you here?”

“I promised we’d come see you whenever we can, right?” he said. “Well, we can now. And look—” Ashitaka lifted the wrapped box, “—I bring gifts.”

“Gifts?”

“The villagers made it,” he went on, making his way inside the cave. He sat down on the hard floor between the leaf bed and the cave mouth before laying down the box in front of him. Untying the knot and opening the lid, Ashitaka found a stacked food container inside, with a couple bowls, spoons, and a ladle.

“What’s that?”

“Dinner. You haven’t had any, right?” He had caught sight of the fruits, berries, and some plants in San’s hand when she came to meet him out on the ledge.

“No, but—”

“Come on, then.” He patted the space next to him with a grin. From the scent wafting up from the container, Ashitaka knew their dinner was going to be delicious. If Eboshi really did mean to offer peace, she might have asked Toki to make this especially good.

He used the wrapping cloth as a mat and set the container over them. A bowl and a spoon would mean some sort of soup or congee, but the strong scent of spice coming from the top lid meant there was grilled meat. Beef? Lamb? Or maybe just chicken?

Ashitaka uncovered the top lid and indeed, what he found were skewered meat set neatly in a stacked row. It looked like they had packed in at least thirty skewers. The second container beneath it held what looked to be congee. The rich smell teased his nostrils, pulling his lips into a small smile.

He grabbed the ladle from the box and stirred the congee. There were eggs too, and he could barely smell the pork stock Toki had used. He ladled the congee into each bowl before setting them down on either side.

He then grabbed one of the skewers and took a bite. Lamb meat, it seemed—so soft and juicy as it melted in his mouth. A hint of saltiness, but the spice tasted more prominent. Ashitaka smiled, looking up to his friend still standing by the cave’s mouth. “Try them,” he said, holding the skewer up.

San stared at it, then at the dishes, and shook her head and took a step back. “I’m not touching that.”

“Wh—” Ashitaka gulped down his lamb, “—why?”

“It smells weird. And it looks weird. And did you say it was from the villagers?” San shook her head again. “I’m not eating that.”

Ashitaka sighed. “San—” he began.

“No, Ashitaka!”

“But they’re delicious.”

“I don’t care.”

“You’re missing a lot.”

San scowled. She made her point by plopping herself down on the ground and took a large bite off whatever edible root she had brought back from her foraging.

Ashitaka pursed his lips. This was not going how he had wanted it to. Yes, he knew San wouldn’t receive it gladly, but he’d thought if he had omitted Eboshi’s name, she would at least sit down and try some of these. But she didn’t even give him the chance to explain, and Ashitaka saw no way he could let her know about the peace offering.

He looked at the lamb skewer in his hand then glanced up at San, still stubbornly chewing her root, refusing to meet his eyes. He sighed, letting his hand drop to his lap.

“I was going to say that Eboshi wishes to offer peace,” he began. He noticed a stiffening in her shoulders, the way her eyes flitted to him for a fraction of a second and the pause in her bite. He smiled a soft self-deprecating smile. “She knew you wouldn’t accept it readily.”

“Then why bother?”

“Because it’s a start.” Toward peace, and a new beginning. San leveled her gaze at him for a few more moments before pointedly looking away.

Ashitaka waited for one heartbeat, then another, and said, “You really won’t try some? It’s really good.” He took another bite off the lamb. It really was delicious. Toki and the women had probably gone above and beyond to make this.

San plopped a purple berry into her mouth with a huff.

Ashitaka stared at her, before quietly saying, “Moro asked me to look after you.”

That did it, as he knew it would. The mention of Moro’s name was like a hammer breaking through her strong façade. The flash in her eyes as she glared at him—at least she kept her gaze locked with his. And then he saw it, the slight crumbling of her resolve, as she muttered, “That’s not fair.” With a shuddering breath, San drew a long sigh, and went over to sit next to him.

Ashitaka couldn’t help the beam on his face. He grabbed her bowl and held it out to her. “Here, try this.”

“What is this?” she asked, scrunching her face. She took a sniff, then immediately pulled back with a frown and a shake of her head. Ashitaka laughed. If that were enough to repulse her, he wondered how she would react to the lamb’s strong flavor and scent.

“It’s called congee, and it really warms you up.”

She met his gaze again, and he nodded at her encouragingly. He showed her how to use the spoon, and she did as she was told, albeit clumsily. She brought the gruel to her mouth, barely touching the spoon to her lips. A moment’s pause, her tongue lapping at her lips, before she gulped the congee down.

Ashitaka waited with bated breath.

“It’s…good.” Her voice soft, she scooped another spoonful of the dish and ate it without question. Her face broke into a small smile. “It’s really good. What is this—egg?” She ate the entire egg in one go.

“Try this next.” He grabbed one skewer from the container and handed it to her.

“What’s that?” she asked.

“Lamb skewers.”

“Lamb?” Her eyes narrowed at it. “It’s burned.”

“It’s grilled, San,” Ashitaka replied with a laugh. “We cook our meat before eating it.”

She gave a noncommittal grunt, but she put her bowl down and grabbed the skewer from him. She eyed it skeptically, took a sniff, and scrunched her nose. “It smells even weirder.” Ashitaka chuckled at that.

San took an experimental bite off the top cube, her jaws moving slowly. She puckered her face, trying get the meat down her throat.

“It’s good, isn’t it?” he asked, watching her closely.

San swiped her tongue against her mouth before eyeing the lamb again and took another bite. She seemed to have an easier time digesting it now, the grimace on her face transforming into an uncertain frown. “It’s all right, I guess. It tastes…good, but the meat’s not juicy.”

The comment left him dumbstruck. He hadn’t expected it at all. When it finally registered in his mind, bone-shaking laughter overcame him, and San had to pause eating and stare at him. Of course, if he thought about it, the meat wouldn’t be juicy enough for someone who had never eaten anything cooked.

“This doesn’t mean I accept her apology, okay?” she said with a frown. “I’m only eating the food youbrought me. I trust you. I don’t trust her.”

“I know, I know,” Ashitaka said, brushing the tears away from his eyes. “She knows that too.”

“Good then.” A short, clipped answer. San went back to her lamb and took her third bite without any difficulty.

It was hard to keep himself from smiling because this was the girl who had been so adamant on hating humans and the human life, and yet now he was watching her eat human foods with such joy on her face.

“Want me to teach you how to make them? It’s not hard.”

San glanced at him, and there was a small smile on her face as she said, “I’ll think about it.”

~ END ~

#studio ghibli #mononoke hime #princess mononoke #fanfiction #ghibli fanfic #ghibli fanzine #zine piece #whisper of the hearth

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agentnico · 3 years

Text

Luca (2021) Review

Honestly, after seeing The Shape of Water where a woman copulates with a fish, I don’t see why there now any need for a film about accepting sea monsters. If we’re mating with them anyway we’re basically passed all the bases, right? Right??

Plot: A young boy experiences an unforgettable seaside summer on the Italian Riviera filled with gelato, pasta and endless scooter rides. Luca shares these adventures with his newfound best friend, but all the fun is threatened by a deeply-held secret: he is a sea monster from another world just below the ocean's surface.

Pixar’s last movie that they released was Soul. That film was absolutely phenomenal and arguably one of their best from their entire film library. It was its earnest and profound message of learning to enjoy the little things that makes it so touching to the, ahem, soul. So Luca never stood a chance at topping the heights of Pixar’s last entry, however Pixar being Pixar you still expect there to be a certain class and quality to the procedures. Expect for Cars 2. Remember Cars 2? It was like a Michael Bay film had a baby with Hello Kitty, with simultaneously talking down to the audience like they were 6 years old (adults watch Pixar films too ya know!!) while having forced action set pieces that felt like they were thought of first and then the rest of the plot was meant to justify their existence. So yes, just like Michael Bay. Also, doesn’t a car voiced by Bruce Campbell get burned to death in that movie? Pretty dark for such a kids friendly motion picture! Anyway, enough with the Cars 2 hate! I mean, not enough with the hate, I hope Reddit keeps annihilating that thing till the end of days, I’m just stating enough with the hate in this review, as I’m supposed to be talking about Luca and pasta Alfredo’s and Vespa's.

Luca is evidently heavily inspired by Studio Ghibli films with Hayao Miyazaki’s signature style present in spirit in both plot and animation. The clear, blue-green seas, lush vegetation, idyllic village life, blue skies and giant white clouds: this is Miyazaki territory. Honestly if Pixar did the animation in 2D then Disney would have probably received a lawsuit from the Ghibli folks for copyright infringement and rightly so! Wait a minute.... *rustles through some Google pages* hang on, Disney bought Studio Ghibli?! By mermaid’s tale, they are literally buying out everything!! Ah, wait a minute again *further rustling* they don’t own them anymore. Some GKIDS company have them now instead. Phew, was about to lose my timbers on this one. Anyway, ownership rights and capitalist bureaucracy aside, we have ourselves a Disney’s Miyazaki film! Similarities to the likes of Ponyo, Kiki’s Delivery Service and Porco Rosso are sprinkled throughout, with the latter even getting a near full on shout out with Luca’s village named “Portorosso” in homage. However Luca never reaches the heights of Ghibli’s greatest. Nor the heights of Pixar’s own for the matter of fact. The plot feels both muddled and over simplistic and also lacks enough exposition. Look, I’m usually the first to complain when a film has too much exposition, but here is the rare occurrence of the opposite. For example, it is never explained nor questioned how nor why these sea creatures are able to turn into humans when reaching the surface. There’s no origin to it and I’m sorry, it seems like quite a big thing not to explain. Also, everything that happens in this movie feels all too convenient. There’s no natural flow in the story progression, instead things just happen cause they need to happen for the film to reach from point A to Z. The film’s main villain is this Vespa driving Italian who’s entire personality is ‘to be a dipshit’, excuse my French. That’s it. There are zero layers to him and, again, no explanation to why he is such a prick; all that is stated is the evident fact that he is a prick.

Luca has its lovely moments and the central kid characters are all well done and have plenty of personality/chemistry, though I must disappoint Call Me by Your Name fans, they don’t do what you expect them to do. As a whole though this movie is pleasant to look at, comes as a given with Pixar, but when it comes to the narrative I expected more. Still enjoyable nonetheless and if you have Disney+ anyway then there is no harm to watch it.

Overall score: 6/10

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imuser304 · 3 years

Text

Green Dot

Mirio Togata x Genderneutral!reader

tw: mentions of antidepressants

still can't sleep so here's a lil Mirio drabble about helping his partner with the side effects of their new meds.

I'm using personal experience with how I felt the first few days starting Sertraline (Zoloft).

Time, 3:00 a.m. Too early to function normally and too late to get enough sleep. You've been laying in bed since 11:00 p.m. the night before, and have made three attempts at falling asleep.

The change of medication you just started was pinching at your brain, you could hear the electrical waves move around your body and brain. Your body shook as you absent-mindedly scrolled through whatever app you had open, most likely Instagram or Pinterest.

Eyes glossed over, your fingers moved as you spaced, almost forgetting your consciousness, you waited for change.

Your heartbeat became louder, not faster, just... louder. The attempt to listen to music through headphones failed because the way the false leather sat on your ears didn't feel right and no matter how much you adjusted they almost hurt to keep on. The way earbuds sat in your ears digged into your skin didn't work for you and your specific sensitivities, but listening to music out loud was too distracting and not focused enough on your brain to mask the sounds of your brain and blood flow. Exhaustion was to break you, and it had almost won. You wanted to snap.

With a quick head shake, left and right, you made a decision to check if anyone else was awake, possibly to bug them enough so you would fall asleep for once.

"green dot, green dot, green dot," you whispered to yourself, finding your messaging app, quickly pressing the app open to search for any active users.

And lucky for you, your boyfriend, Mirio's green dot was next to his face, proving him awake. Normally something like this would make you lecture him about staying up to late but just this once, you were glad his poor sleeping schedule matched with the side effects of your medications. You took a deep breath before clicking his contact, video calling him in the process.

"Mornin' babe," he greeted quietly with a yawn, under his covers, looking plenty sleepy. "Need something?"

"Um- hey." Mirio cocked his head, a little confused until you showed him your shaky hand. "Started new meds yesterday, can't sleep," you said shakily, sitting up and setting your phone on your bedside table.

"Ah, you feel alright?"

"Not r-really," you twitched, turning your head somewhat violently and shaking even more. "I'm s- I'm sorry, you probably-"

"Hey, hey, don't apologise. You didn't wake me up. Is anyone home or is your dad still away?" Mirio started getting up, realizing how terrible you were feeling.

"Away," you mumbled, jaw clenching and shivering.

"Okay, (y/n), listen, I'm on my way. I'll be there in a few minutes, alright? I love you, I'll be right there."

"kay', love you too. S- see you soon."

Mirio hung up the call, and you tried to stand, immediately fell back on your bed.

"Did I eat today?"

Time passed in a blink, and Mirio was in your room, seeing you shaking still. He sat right next to you, asked for permission to touch you, aware of how sensitive you could be when trying new medications.

He gently placed his hands on your shoulders, keeping you from spacing out, keeping your attention on him.

"What did you start taking?"

"Zoloft. it's the one in- the one in front of the mirror, paper on my desk." Mirio presses a quick kiss to your forehead and got up to read the instructions on the bottle and an overview of side effects. "I- I can hear electricity."

"Hm. okay, did you eat anything with it?"

"Can't remember, too long ago."

"Come with me to the living room, we can watch a movie while I make you something to eat, maybe you'll feel a little better."

Reluctantly, you stood and shuffled to the living room to the couch where Mirio tucked you under a blanket and turned the T.V. on, letting you pick one of the Ghibli films to stare at while he made you a few scrambled eggs. Your eyes were glazed over again as you enjoyed the soft visuals in front of you.

Mirio came back a few minutes later, a plate and fork in hand, eggs and toast ready for you to eat. He left again to go clean up after himself, make sure he didn't leave a mess behind after cooking for you. By the time he had cleaned up, you were mostly done, and it only took another bite of toast for you to finish. He took care of your plate, and finally came back with a glass of water, aware of your drinking habits, or lack there of.

You beckoned him over to you, practically asking him to hold you while waiting for your heavy shaking to slow down again.

He picked you up, leaving the movie on, holding you with your head on his chest, slowly running his hand over your arm, easing your nerves while you listened to the movie and his heartbeat matching pase with yours. He stroked your hair, noticing your body beginning to calm down. Pulling you closer and adding a blanket over you and himself, he sunk into the couch and kissed your head again.

"Thanks f-for coming over to help."

"Of course. I know you're struggling, taking new meds seems to do this to you."

"Yeah, sorry about that-"

"Again, don't be sorry, it's not your fault."

"I had the option to wait until my dad got home but I thought I would be fine, if I had just waited-"

"No, (y/n). I'm glad you started something new, I'm like... so proud of you. Please though, just get some rest. Don't feel bad, I like taking care of you anyway. Don't worry. Just... Rest. I'll protect you." He kept his voice just above a whisper, still stroking your hair. "Goodnight babe."

You were able to distract your hearing with his humming along with the soundtrack of the movie playing. You couldn't hear the sound of your blood rushing or the electric waves move through your brain.

His touch stimulating your senses, along with his scent made it easy to relax and stop shaking.

Soon enough, the stillness and movement helped you to fall asleep, finally resting the way you needed to.

Goodnight, Mirio.

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honeycobie · 3 years

Text

My Aurora

badboy!Sunwoo x reader, fluff, slight angst

a/n: this is a continuation of ps. i like you! if you have not read it, please do read it first as it will be confusing to read this one first. lots of people have requested me to do a part two to it and i gladly have! I recommend listening to your eyes tell by bts as you read this or break my heart again by finneas. as always, i hope you enjoy this one and stay safe 💓 please don’t be afraid to give feedback!

↞ [previous] -: ✧ :- [next]↠

Your hands were clammy, slick with sweat as they shook slightly, your fingers slipping against the screen as you tried to type out a message. Your mind was racing, a jumbled mess of thoughts as you recall his letter. It was intimate yet playful, just like Sunwoo. At the very thought of his name, a smile appears of its own accord and you slap your face lightly, trying to knock some sense into yourself.

Dragging a hand through your hair, you sigh, gazing at the screen of your phone. You sifted through your brain, attempting to organize yourself but only to give up a second later. You slumped against the wall, agonizing over sending a simple text. You inhale deeply to steel yourself before your fingers rapidly dance over the screen, typing out a straightforward “I got your letter”.

Contemplating, you hesitate, hovering over the send button. For the first time, you found yourself placing the phone down, mulling over a decision that you would’ve already made in a blink of an eye. Worrying your bottom lip between your teeth, you listened to your heart and sent it. Right after, you leaped away from it as if it was a poisonous spider, poised to attack. From a distance, you eyed your phone, waiting for any hint of a notification.

Sighing, you turned away and busied yourself with tackling the clean laundry that had piled up on your chair. Halfway through placing the last shirt into the drawer, your phone buzzes and you jump, startled. You carefully cradle the phone in your hands before unlocking it, your breath hitching when you realize you have a new message from Sunwoo.

You click on it, face illuminated by the glow as you read. The sentence sinks in and you laugh, your heart feeling lighter than it had been since you had last seen him.

“So you lost the bet? ;)”

It was so...him. To care about a bet that no longer held any importance, thrown away in a dark corner, unforgotten. Yet Sunwoo was able to revive it and you smiled at the familiarity of his competitiveness, finally breaking the gigantic iron wall that stood before you and him, built by you to protect your heart. Your response did not have your usual retort, instead, it acknowledged that you did indeed lose the bet.

However, Sunwoo’s response had held a certain weight to it, suggesting more feeling behind just arrogantly caring about winning or losing. It was his own way of clarifying things and you could practically feel his need to know if you reciprocate his feelings or not. You had given Sunwoo the answer he desperately needed to know and he now knew what you felt.

You flopped onto your bed, phone falling from your grasp to safely land on the soft duvet. You close your eyes for a second, your limbs sprawled. A weight seemed to have lifted off of your shoulders and you smiled dreamily. Lulled by the tranquility of the house, you feel yourself giving in to the tantalizing pull of slumber, a yawn escaping as you snuggle into the warmth of your sheets, blindly patting around to grasp at your duvet, pulling it over yourself.

Your eyes shoot open when the doorbell rings, echoing pleasantly throughout the house. Groaning, you sit up, patting down your messy hair and straightening your crumpled clothes.

As the doorbell rings again, paired with insistent knocking, you bolt downstairs, nearly wiping out on the floor. Regaining your balance, you throw open the door, ready to chastise the person for practically abusing the doorbell. Words die in your throat as you stare at him, a familiar smirk on his face, warm umber eyes drifting down your figure to fixate on your slippers, pink and fluffy, with an adorable bunny face.

“Nice bunny slippers.” Sunwoo remarks, suppressing the urge to laugh, lips twitching as he bites back a grin.

Your cheeks burn in embarrassment, suddenly painfully aware of your disheveled hair and mismatched pajamas. “They’re comfortable.” you manage, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible.

“Are you going to let me in?” he asks, amused.

“No.”

Sunwoo arches an eyebrow at your response, watching as you wedge yourself in the door, seeming to contemplate before slipping out, closing the door with a soft click.

You sit on the porch, and Sunwoo follows your actions. Silence ensues, and you shift uncomfortably before glancing subtly at him. Sunwoo, as always, was infuriatingly handsome, with a perfect side profile and you swore that nature loved him, the way the sun’s rays were kissing his skin.

“So...what are we?” you break the silence, but regret it when he turns to face you, and you almost drown in the captivating depths of his eyes.

“What do you mean?” Sunwoo asks, tilting his head in an endearing way, reminding you of a puppy.

“Are we an official thing now?” you venture bashfully, unable to meet his eyes.

“Yes, you’re my lover. Is that what you wanted to hear?” he chuckles, and you flush, reaching over to swat at him, which he easily dodges.

Lover....you savour the word, running through your mind like a broken record, over and over. So magical, it made your heart palpitate and your palms sweat.

When you don’t speak, Sunwoo eyes you mischievously, before reaching over to press his lips against yours. Your breath hitches as you make a surprised sound before melting into the kiss. You can feel Sunwoo’s lips curve into a smile but before he can pull away, you cradle his head, pulling him impossibly closer.

Parting, he smirks at you. “Didn’t know you were so bold, (Y/n).” he says, in sing-song as he pinches your cheeks.

“Shut up.” you mutter, and you were sure your face was as red as a beet.

“I’m not surprised you lost the bet, I mean, look at me.” Sunwoo continues, boasting and you glare at him.

“I will literally kill you in your sleep.”

“Woah, no need to get so aggressive.” he laughs, lifting his hands in a placating manner. You stick your tongue out at him before hugging your knees to your chest. Once again, silence falls upon you, but it’s comfortable and you get used to Sunwoo’s presence next to you.

When he starts humming to a familiar song, you join in, and even though the old lady next door is giving you a dirty look, her hands on her hips, you start singing and dancing with Sunwoo in the street. You can’t help but laugh loudly as he twirls you around.

You almost forgot how elated you had felt with Sunwoo but now, as the sun shines down on you as you frolic around with him, you remember.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

“Baby.”

His voice rouses you from dreamland and you lift your head drowsily, struggling to blink away the sleep that still clung to your eyelashes. You had somehow managed to fall asleep during the Studio Ghibli movie marathon that you and Sunwoo had planned a week prior. Your eyes focused on his face before drifting to the screen before you, the familiar sight of Howl’s Moving Castle greeting you, awakening vague childhood memories.

Sunwoo smiled, drinking in the sight of you, clad in a hoodie and pyjama pants, your hair messy yet still so adorable it makes his heart clench. He gently brushes the strands that fall into your eyes, his delicate touch almost lulling you back to sleep, your eyelids fluttering close.When he draws his hand away, you open your eyes, already missing the warmth of his hand.

“Put your hand out,” Sunwoo ordered, rummaging in his bag, which sat at his feet. Confused, you heed his order, placing your hand out, palm up.

He places the box in your hand and you peer at it, interest piqued even with sleep muddying your thoughts. The box was covered with a layer of black velvet and you knew that it had to hold some kind of jewelry. Curious, you opened it and you inhaled sharply. A delicate gold bracelet sat within it and you were mesmerized by the way it seemed to beckon to you, gleaming underneath the light emitted from the movie still playing on the screen, now forgotten, nothing but background noise.

Sunwoo picked it up and you caught sight of the single dainty charm that dangled from the chain. Incredulous, you held it between your fingers, noting the details that were carved into it. The charm itself was so thin and intricate that if you applied too much force, you feared that it would snap.

He grinned, reading your features attentively. “Do you like it? I specifically designed it myself.”

“You don’t have to buy-” you began, only interrupted by his finger pressing against your mouth to silence you. Sunwoo shakes his head, mischief evident in his eyes as he moves to fasten it around your wrist, his fingers deft as he nimbly connects the clasp. “Just accept it.”

You tried to object again but he glared at you, causing the words to die in your throat. Clearing your throat, you changed the subject to not incur his wrath. “Why did you pick the sun?” you ask, accepting the gift, twisting your wrist back and forth to watch it shimmer, admiring it with awe-filled eyes.

“The answer is simple. Since I’m known as the sun, it’s my way of claiming you and letting others know that you’re mine.” Sunwoo grins cockily, crossing his arms in satisfaction as he leans back, reclining on the couch.

You open your mouth, searching for words before opting to smack him twice on the head with the nearest pillow.

“Ow! What was that for?” he protests, rubbing his forehead.

“You always amaze me, Sunwoo.” you sigh in exasperation, rubbing your temples as you hug the pillow to your chest.

“Must be because I’m so handsome.” he replied, wiggling his eyebrows as he winked at you, practically shoving his face in yours to prove his attractiveness.

Wisely, you shove his face away, training your eyes on the screen instead. Sunwoo whines, shaking your shoulders so intensely, you momentarily considered strangling him.

“Shut up and watch the movie.” you grumble, throwing popcorn at him.

“Yes ma’am.”

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

You sigh, zipping up your bag as you end another tutor session with Sunwoo. Now that you were dating, both of your mothers had begged for you to continue tutoring. You couldn’t blame them, though, as he still needed help. The sessions continued, dragging for more than the planned week and they were more distractions as he would continuously pepper your face and neck with kisses, despite your requests, no, demands for him to cease.

One or two of his friends would often tag along for fun — Haknyeon and Eric being the most frequent — and would always leave complaining that Sunwoo was absolutely infatuated with you, disgusted with how he would stare at you with the most loving gaze. To quote, they called him the “real-life heart eyes emoji”.

“Hey, I gotta go to the restroom real quick,” you mentioned, nudging Sunwoo with your arm.

Sunwoo glanced up from his task of organizing the sheaf of paper, “Alright,” he gave you a peck on the cheek before focusing on his task. You smiled to yourself. Sunwoo looked cute, nose scrunching as he tried to order the sheets by date.

You hummed to yourself as you stepped out of the study room, starting down the hallway. You were in a rather cheerful mood today, even able to suppress the urge to yell at Sunwoo for once again, succumbing to distractions.

Finishing, you step out of the stall to wash your hands. Just as you’re lathering the soap to thoroughly scrub between your fingers, you feel a presence next to you. Glancing up, you notice a girl next to you and you offer a friendly smile in greeting. She smiles back, easygoing and you had to physically force yourself from staring at her for too long. She was gorgeous, no doubt a girl that had boys practically tripping over their own feet to chase after her. Actually, you erased that thought as you flushed at her kind smile.

You couldn’t stop the envy that rushed through your veins. She was a natural beauty, not even a hint of makeup to enhance her features. With flawless skin, doe eyes and lips like rosebuds, she was the exact definition of what society thought beauty was. You brush off the envy as easily as shrugging off a coat. You would get nothing for envying others and it felt ridiculous anyway, admiring others’ features when the personality and the heart were what meant most.

Turning off the tap, you slip your hands under the dryer, watching as it automatically switches on, a warm gust of air blasting to dry the droplets of water that still clung to your fingers and palms. Just as you were about to walk out, a voice catches your attention.

“Wait, can I talk to you?” the girl asks politely, eyes crinkling in a rather charming fashion.

You nod, tensing slightly as you wondered what she might have been scheming. You couldn’t help it, it was in your nature to be suspicious and keep your guards up, even if the opposite person had been nothing but kind.

“I saw your bracelet and I was wondering where you got it.” she continued, her shining eyes fixated on the delicate gold bracelet that was clasped on your wrist. You blinked, almost laughing at yourself for even doubting whether the girl had sinister intentions.

“Ah, I’m not sure. This was a gift and I think it’s a personal design,” you replied, hand instinctively going to fiddle with it, the cool metal familiar underneath your fingers.

“Could I try it on?” she questioned, and you were taken aback by her blunt question. Not many strangers approached others to try on accessories and you were certainly not going to do so. “It’s alright if you don’t want to. I understand,” she laughed airily, noticing that you had recoiled slightly, taking a step away from her.

You chewed on the inside of your cheek, indecisive. It was weird to let her, someone you didn’t even know, try it on but she seemed so earnest and you didn’t want to turn her away. Deciding on the latter, you nodded before unclasping the bracelet and handing it to her carefully.

You watch her as the girl gingerly handles it, placing it on her wrist before locking the clasp in place. She lifts her hand, admiring it as the gold glimmers underneath the fluorescent lights of the bathroom. Uncomfortable, you shift before you open your mouth, intent on asking for it back.

Before you can even speak, your phone rings. Lifting it to your ear, you wince when Sunwoo’s voice blares right in your ear. “Where the hell are you? What’s taking so long?”

Even though his words are rough, you can tell that there’s concern hidden beneath it, masked by his feigned irritation. “I just got caught up, sorry.” you apologized sheepishly, realizing that fifteen minutes had already passed.

“Hurry back. We’re taking the bus today, remember? It leaves at four.” You could practically envision Sunwoo’s face, dragging his hand down his face exasperatedly, a sigh escaping his lips. Your eyes widen when you catch sight of the time. There was only three minutes until the bus arrived. Even worse, the bus stop was a distance away from the library, so you and Sunwoo would have to dash to it in order to catch the bus.

Swiftly, you hang up on him, darting out the restroom into the hall, not even sparing the other girl a glance. You forgot something important, dangling on her wrist, gold like the afternoon sunshine drifting into the space, winking mockingly underneath the light.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

Your face brightens the moment you see Sunwoo standing in the park where you had planned to meet. Even before you reach him, you can tell something’s wrong, a brooding and dark look clouding his features. You slow your pace, watching as his head snaps up, gaze locking with yours when he hears your footsteps. You’re positive something is wrong by the way he doesn’t even offer a smile in your direction. Sunwoo’s eyes aren’t dancing with amusement and mischief like they usually are, instead they’re dull and lifeless.

“What’s wrong?” you inquire, hoping to shake him out of his detached state. At the sound of your voice, his eyes slide down to your wrist and his eyes flare with anger, sudden, like a lit match, flames threatening to overwhelm and destroy anything in its path.

“Where’s the bracelet?” he rasps, voice low. Although his features are nonchalant and coldly indifferent, you can tell that he’s furious by the way his jaw clenches, the muscles twitching. Your hand goes to your wrist, fingers wrapping around nothing but your own skin. Eyes widening, you curse inwardly as the image of the bracelet, clasped on the girl’s wrist, flashes in your mind, almost as if taunting your terrible memory.

Before you can even answer, Sunwoo beats you to it. “Why’d you give it to her? If you didn’t like it, you could’ve just told me. You didn’t have to give it away.” Behind the passive mask that he’s constructed, you see hurt flash across his features abruptly, like lightning striking through dark thunder clouds before it’s gone, just as quickly as it appears.

“And you gave it to her, out of all people.” Sunwoo continued, stringing his fingers through his hair in frustration, the action familiar as you had seen him do it many times. You were forgotten as he paced around in tight circles, like a caged panther.

“What do you mean, her?” You found the courage to speak up, only to regret it as his dark gaze settled on you, causing you to shrink away automatically, feeling so insignificant next to his presence.

“She is my ex.” Sunwoo reveals, shoulders hunched. You fall silent, digesting the new information. You didn’t understand why he was so quick to assume, when you hadn’t even explained your side of the story.

You steel yourself, determined to stay calm and talk things out. “Listen, it’s not like I hated the bracelet and gave it away to her. She was curious about it so I let her try it on and I forgot to ask for it back because we were going to miss the bus if we didn’t hurry.”

“Of course you would say that.” he laughed and you flinched at the anger, no, contempt that tainted his voice, poisoning the atmosphere with its negativity.

“What do you mean?” you countered, a frown marring your brow. “Are you saying that I’m lying?” You couldn’t disguise the brewing anger, like dark, vicious tones of black completely conquering the pure white of calm and placidness.

Sunwoo scoffs, the dismissive sound making you bristle. “Who knows, maybe you are.”

Your irritation prevails over your rationality as you scowl. “You know what? Screw you.” Weren’t relationships all about trust and honesty? You detested the way suspicion and doubt completely ruled over your relationship, erasing all the euphoric and jovial memories that once existed.

You stormed away, not even bothering to spare a glance in Sunwoo’s direction. If this was how things would play out, your past self had been wise to stay away from him.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

“So, did you guys break up?” your friend asks curiously, nibbling on her blueberry muffin.

You shrug, the straw of your beverage hanging out of your lips. “I’m not sure,” you admit, “we got into an argument and I just left.”

As your friend proceeds to barrage you with questions, you let your focus wander,, from the hanging plants to the dark maplewood floors of the cozy cafe, the murmur of conversations indecipherable, like you were underwater.

A bell chimes, alerting you of a new customer. Your eyes trail to the entrance, and you stiffen when you realize it’s Sunwoo, talking animatedly to someone next to him. You kick your friend’s shin lightly, grabbing her attention as you nod discreetly towards the entrance. Eyes widening, she turns slightly, observing as Sunwoo takes a seat, inconveniently close to your escape route.

You slide down in your seat, shaking your head. You could either wait for Sunwoo and his companion to leave or somehow sneak out without him noticing. Gnawing on your straw, you gesture to the nearest waiter, who slips over to you, a bright smile on his face. Hurriedly, you pay for the food, fingers drumming impatiently on the table before practically dragging your friend out the seat, protesting weakly.

Daring a glance, you lift your eyebrows when you notice that Sunwoo’s companion is his ex. It wasn’t the first time you had seen him with her after your argument. He was almost always with her on campus and you always shook your head scornfully when you caught sight of them together, again. At this point, you felt only numbness, like nothing affected you anymore. This just told you that it was time to forget Sunwoo and move on.

Just as you thought you had successfully gotten to the door without being noticed, you hear his voice call out to you. Gritting your teeth, you turn around, pasting on a fake smile.

“I’m not in the mood to talk.” you state plainly. Sunwoo stammers, for once, dumbfounded as he tries to find the words to placate you and convince you to stay.

“Go back to your girlfriend.” you add, gesturing to the girl, who remained sitting, pretending to scroll through her phone, concern apparent on her face. “Guess I was just a summer fling, huh? A rebound for you to use?”

At that, Sunwoo flinches, hurt flooding his features.

You turn to leave, and this time, he doesn’t stop you.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

Chattering with your friend, you pass through the entrance, smiling brightly as you greet the others at the party. Already, you can see some people passed out on the ground, cheeks ruddy from alcohol. The music is loud, the floor vibrating with the bass beat and you can feel it reverberating in your ribcage.

Your friend had offered to cheer you up by inviting you to one of her mutual’s weekly parties after witnessing your encounter with Sunwoo. You had initially declined, but after serious consideration, you had decided that it would be an effective way to loosen up and relax.

“Hey, Sunwoo isn’t here, right?” you lower your voice as you address your friend, scanning your surroundings keenly for any sight of the male.

“He might be. The host is good friends with him.” she answers, eyeing you.

Immediately, your expression and mood sours but you take a deep breath, determined to not let Sunwoo ruin your night. Your friend pats your shoulder sympathetically before pushing you into the dancing crowd. You squirm as you collide with sweaty bodies, barely avoiding a flailing arm, which threatened to gouge out your eyes. Magenta, violet and cyan lights flash wildly in the otherwise dim room, seeming to heighten the crowd’s emotions as they cheer loudly. You avert your eyes from the glare, trying to adjust to the drastic change.

“Have fun!” your friend yells over the music, before also disappearing into the throng. You grimace, trying to push your way out of the crowd before sighing, running a hand through your hair in exasperation. You seemed to be at the heart of the group, everyone moving to the rhythm of the music. People shout over the music, trying to communicate to each other and your head momentarily spins as you slowly adapt to the chaos.

Glancing around, you don’t notice your friend anywhere but your tense shoulders start to gradually relax, body automatically swaying to the beat as you sing along to the song, feeling more carefree and untroubled compared to the previous days.

Perhaps it was a good idea to attend this party.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

As you talk to a friend, a hand grasps your arm, dragging you away. Twisting, you catch sight of Sunwoo’s face, set in a glower. You struggle against him, but he doesn’t let go until he finds a quiet corner, away from the party and its consuming music.

“What do you want?” you seethe, rubbing at your arm, where it was sore from his bruising grip.

“I want to talk about us,” Sunwoo states simply. For some reason, the word ‘us’ causes your blood to boil and you inhale deeply, trying to refrain yourself from lashing out. The last thing you wanted was to create a scene at a party, where you were supposed to have fun and dance away your worries.

“We have nothing to talk about.” you refute, forcing yourself to keep a polite tone.

“What happened to our relationship? Didn’t we promise to always talk things out?” Sunwoo continues, and you wonder if the desperation in his voice is an illusion, a trick so he can take advantage of you again. His voice is gradually rising in volume, and you can also feel your annoyance progressively getting out of control.

“You told me I could trust you, right? What happened to that?” you demand, practically piercing daggers with your glare.

Sunwoo returns your gaze with an equal amount of resentment. “Ask yourself that,” he accused, “why did you think I used you as a rebound to get back together with my ex?”

“I don’t know, maybe it’s the way you act on campus or the way you initiate physical affection with her so easily?” you retort, envy evident. You hated jealousy; the way it easily destroyed foundations of stable relationships, but it felt….almost relieving to let your emotions out.

Sunwoo is silent, but his heated stare betrays his hostility, provoked by the way you simply dismissed his explanation. He almost chuckles, wondering if this was how you felt. Huffing, you turn to leave, but he pulls you back, your back crashing into his chest, arms settling around your waist.

You close your eyes, moving to peel his hands off, ordering your body to move, but it betrays you, and you stay in Sunwoo’s embrace, his breath stirring your hair into motion.

“Tell me….who is she to you?” you whisper, slumping in defeat.

“She’s nothing more than a friend. She’s going through something right now so she really needed comfort.” he replies softly, moving to gently place a kiss on your neck, goosebumps appearing on your skin.

“Oh.” you say, your voice tiny as guilt sweeps over you. You start to apologize, but Sunwoo hushes you, twirling you around to face him.

He lifts his hand, uncurling his fingers to reveal a familiar gold bracelet sitting in it. It dangles from his fingers and you gaze at it, the metal shimmering, as if it was dancing along to the distant bass of the music. His eyes present many questions as he stares at you, offering you the bracelet. Do you still love me? Will you accept me again?

Quietly, you stretch out your hand, and his eyes; they light up with hope so innocent and bright, it hurts your heart. Sunwoo fastens the bracelet back to its rightful place, almost frantically, like if he didn’t hurry, you would change your mind.

Awkward silence settles over you as you and Sunwoo stare at each other, uncertainty swimming in his eyes as he fidgets. Laughter bubbles out of your throat when he unexpectedly sweeps you into his embrace, lifting you in the air, almost crushing you with his strength but you don’t complain, a smile stretching across your face, tears brimming in your eyes.

Words weren’t needed.

»»————-　　————-««»»————-　　————-««

You lean against Sunwoo’s side, gaze fixed on the stunning view of the horizon, the sun lighting everything with a fiery glow. A place that was once only Sunwoo’s safe haven but now he unlocked the gates to welcome you. It had felt like only yesterday when he had introduced you to this place, hidden away from the harsh and demanding reality that criticized and judged everywhere you went and it felt like a shield, coddling you from the cruelty of it all and pushing you into a dream, where everything had an answer and you were free from the stress and worries that seem to mercilessly pursue you, no matter what winding paths you took to avoid it.

You close your eyes, letting your head fall on Sunwoo’s shoulder. A chuckle rumbles through his chest and you feel him pick your hand up, laying a chaste kiss on it before intertwining his fingers with yours. Your heart picks up its rhythm at his display of affection but you keep your eyes closed, ears pricked as you listen to the melodic chirping of birds stationed somewhere within the dense forest.

A question worms its way into your mind and you squirm slightly, trying to ignore it. No doubt Sunwoo would tease you if you said it out loud. It makes its way down, seeding itself into your heart. Tempted to ask, you open your mouth before closing it just as rapidly.

You feel Sunwoo shift beside you before gently moving you to lie in his lap, his hands moving to tangle themselves into your hair, twirling the strands. Your eyes fly open and you’re overcome with a wave of determination, to spit the question out before you regret it. Now seemed to be the time, everything at peace, the birds settling amongst the trees, their chirps seeming to quiet, dying down.

“Sunwoo…” you begin, calling his name softly and you cringe inwardly at how loving your voice sounds. Never in a thousand years would you ever imagine yourself in this position, his dark eyes reflecting the sunshine, rendering them the warmest shade of chocolate, bringing out the golden specks that surrounded the irises. You, allowing this boy who you’d only thought as an annoyance to caress your face, to capture your lips with his and to own your heart.

He lets out a hum in response, eyes flicking from the horizon to meet yours and you resist the urge to permit yourself to drown in them. “If you were to describe me as something, what would I be?” you continue, bracing yourself.

You expected Sunwoo to reply with something similar to “trash” in a joking tone, so adorably dorky that you couldn’t even bother to be angry at him, knowing that your anger would be short-lived, dissipating like water meeting heat, the mist of evaporation curling through the air. A part of you hoped that he didn’t answer with that, or something overused, like “my world”. It was used in cliche movies, used to the point that when you heard a boy say it to his girlfriend you had the desire to rip out your hair in frustration when she’d blush as if it was something world-changing.

Sunwoo continues to run his hand through your hair, lips pursed as he considers. Your gaze doesn’t stray from his face, observing his features as they shift through different emotions. “You’d be an….aurora.”

You sit up, pleasantly shocked. You had not thought that he would actually consider and reply to your question seriously. Shifting to face him, you quickly scanned his face for any sign of teasing or jest but you found none. Sunwoo was oddly solemn, gazing back at you intensely, his hand moving to hold yours. “Why?” you breathe, your voice hushed, as if you were to raise your voice, this moment would end and Sunwoo would vanish, taking all the colour of the world with him.

Sunwoo breaks the eye contact, drifting off to collect his thoughts before he gives you a timid smile. “Because...you’re like a gift to me, ethereal and breathtaking. I don’t know when you’ll disappear and if you’ll move on to someone else and brighten their days with your presence. So I’ll cherish the moments we have together. You could say I’m the dark sky and you...are the aurora, dancing with me and stabilizing me, providing me with an escape. You’ve taught me so much, opening my eyes to finding the radiance in even the littlest things. Everything is washed anew when you're by my side and it seems so much more vibrant and colourful, just like how an aurora brings colour and life to the sky when it appears.”

Your face heats up at his words, your heart hammering against your ribs, so loud you feared that Sunwoo would be able to hear it. You were unable to tear your gaze away from his, his eyes clear, allowing you to see the sincerity in their dark pools. There were so many emotions present, swimming in his eyes that they threatened to drown you.

Overwhelmed by emotion, you couldn’t find the words to express how much he meant to you as well. You just sat there, warmed by his words. You clung to that feeling, knowing that it would mean so much more to you when you looked back whether you were still dating Sunwoo or not.

As if sensing your inability to form words to describe the turmoil going in your head, he slips an arm around your shoulder, applying enough strength so your head fell naturally into the crook of his neck. You let out a sigh, hand instinctively gripping onto his shirt, the feeling of his toned chest beneath the thin fabric spanning underneath your fingertips.

Suddenly, Sunwoo pulls you so you’re settled in his lap, a startled squeal leaving your lips. Facing him, you bury your face into his neck, arms slipping around his neck casually. Although you would have been uncomfortable with such a show of physical affection, he seemed to be an exception and you found the warmth radiating off his arms familiar and secure, placing you at ease.

You listen to the steady rhythm of his heart before turning your head, your cheek now pressed against his chest so you could continue enjoying the breathtaking view of the city, so high above that it was unbothered, the air still and tranquil as sunlight caused the windows of skyscrapers faraway to glitter and your eyes roamed the city, mapping and memorizing the place where you’ve grown up and had so many memorable moments, ones that were filled with joy, sorrow and rage.

Sunwoo’s arms tighten ever so slightly before he dips to press a kiss to the crown of your head. “My aurora.” he murmurs, and you can hear the hint of possessiveness and love in his voice, his breath stirring your hair into motion and a chill runs down your spine when you feel his eyelashes flutter against your neck as Sunwoo dips his head to graze his lips against your neck.

You wouldn’t trade anything in the world for this, to watch the sunset with your lover at your side.

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pixieminutes · 4 years

Text

Exposed | LDH

genre: smut, fluff

members: lee donghyuck x reader, lee jeno, na jaemin, zhong chenle, huang renjun, park jisung

warnings: shittily written text scene, teasing, lots of sexual references, making out, finger sucking

D-2hrs

“donghyuck, get off,” you sighed, taking your boyfriend’s creeping hands off of your stomach.

“why?” he whined, “i just wanna be close to you.”

you rolled your eyes, glaring at him.

“i’m so hurt,” he said.

“just go and sit down,” you cried, “pancakes are ready.”

“ooh, pancakes,” he said, “i’ll set the table!”

“finally, something useful,” you teased, placing the last couple of pancakes onto the big stack you’d already made.

“i made dinner!” he exclaimed, “and you cannot say it wasn’t good.”

you chuckled, placing the plate of pancakes in the centre of the table, kissing donghyuck quickly, “yes, it was very good. thank you.”

donghyuck smiled cockily, kissing you again.

“just eat,” you said, shoving him onto a chair as you went to get the toppings.

“don’t pretend you don’t love me,” he whined.

“i don’t.”

D-1hr38m

“just pick one already,” donghyuck whined.

“how about studio ghibli? howl’s moving castle?” you offered, flicking through the netflix movies.

donghyuck groaned, “we’ve watched studio ghibli a gazillion times.”

you rolled your eyes, glaring at your boyfriend, “you’re so over dramatic.”

“how about we watch crazy rich asians?” donghyuck offered.

“how many times have we watched that one!” you shouted.

donghyuck laughed, stroking your hair as he took the remote out of your hands, “here, let’s watch kingsman.”

you had a pout on your face, but nodded. donghyuck played the film before throwing the remote onto the other side of the sofa and pulling you into his hold.

he was laying with his head resting on the arm of the sofa, you laying on top with your head resting on his chest as you looked intently at the screen.

as the opening scenes rolled on, and several people got blown up, donghyuck soon lost interest in yet another spy film. lucky for him, it wasn’t the boys he was watching the film with. it was you.

he trailed his hands down your arm, breaking off where your elbow was bent and trailing down your waist and finally your hip. he smoothed his hand over the material of your trousers, cupping your ass in his hand.

you smacked his hand, not taking your eyes off the screen.

“concentrate.”

D-1hr19m

donghyuck pulled his phone out from where it was buried underneath him, skimming through the messages blowing up his group chat.

NCT Dream: Jeno Lee😤 sent a message

NCT Dream: Nana Jae😟 sent a message

NCT Dream: Chen lele🤑 sent a message

“tell them to fuck off,” you groaned, stretching your arm above your head, still not taking your eyes off the screen.

donghyuck chuckled, stroking your hair as he opened the group chat.

jeno lee😤 - donghyuck??

nana jae😟 - yo lee haechan👊

chen lele🤑 - hAECHAN AHHHHH

full sun🌞 - what

full sun🌞 - call me haechan-ah again and ur getting it, chenle-ya

runjun😌 - we’re coming back later than we thought

runjun😌 - everyone else is too enept to say it so i thought i would

full sun🌞 - coolio

full sun🌞 - we’re watching a movie

runjun😌 - did we ask???????????

full sun🌞 - 🙃

jisung pwark🍼 - we’ll be back at like 10!!!!!

jeno lee😤 - have fun

nana jae😟 - not too much ;)

full sun🌞 - hate you all :)

chen lele🤑 - 😘😘😘😘😘

“what did they say?” you asked, resting your chin on donghyuck’s chest so you were looking up at him.

he smiled slightly, stroking your head as he shook his, “nothing, just that they’re gonna be later than they thought tonight.”

“oh?”

donghyuck laughed, throwing his head back as you hit his arm.

“what?!” you chuckled, “what is it?!”

“nothing,” donghyuck said fondly, “you just sounded very excited.”

“y-ya!” you exclaimed, “i just— i was just making a response.”

“hmm, an excited one,” donghyuck said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.

“shut up!” you shouted, a blush rising on your cheeks as you moved to the other side of the sofa.

donghyuck giggled, “i didn’t say anything.”

you fell quiet, both of you facing the screen.

“10,” donghyuck said quietly, “that’s when they’ll be back.”

you nodded, trying to look at the time subtly, “cool.”

D-0hr58m

donghyuck stretched his arm out, splaying his hand out on the sofa.

you watched the veins rise and fall, your mouth running dry as thoughts clouded your mind.

he was wearing a ring on his middle finger and thumb and a thick silver watch on his wrist, falling onto his hand slightly.

“you alright?” donghyuck asked, raising one of his eyebrows.

you looked to your boyfriend’s face, seeing his peach pink, plump lips. he had a habit of playing with them and biting them and it did nothing to your sanity whenever he did so.

you started shaking your head before nodding. what if this was a trap? he knows exactly how to get you riled up.

your boyfriend laughed, “you sure about that?”

you nodded, humming as you leaned across, pressing a kiss to his lips, “i’m gonna go and get into my pyjamas.”

D-0hr52m

“what are you doing?” donghyuck asked.

“hmm?” you said, innocently.

“you know what you’re doing, you know exactly what you’re doing,” donghyuck said.

you shrugged, walking to the kitchen to get an ice-cream out the freezer.

“what are you doing now?!” your boyfriend cried, “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean it! i don’t know what i did but stop!”

“i have no idea what you’re talking about,” you laughed, “duckie, i’m hot, that’s all.”

“you have your own t-shirts here, you don’t need to wear mine!” donghyuck exclaimed.

you shrugged, “it smells like you.”

donghyuck bit his lip, unable to take his eyes off the ice-cream sliding in and out of your mouth, so warm that the ends were melting.

your eyes, however, didn’t leave the film playing on the tv. so you didn’t notice donghyuck’s eyes on you, nor the tightening of his pyjama bottoms as he imagined something other than that ice-cream.

donghyuck sucked it up, though, determined not to let you win as he turned around, laying his head on one of your thighs, his hand on the other.

don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t look down, don’t lo—

“come on, look at me baby,” donghyuck cooed.

something was so sweet, yet so dominant about his voice, making you stop your attack on your ice-cream and look down at your boyfriend’s head; so close to pleasure. and his hand, all splayed out, his veins popping out; the most attractive way his hands could’ve looked.

you felt yourself heat up, wetness gushing downwards as you stood up suddenly, brushing your boyfriend off.

donghyuck stood up as well, taking the stick of ice-cream out your hand as you stood there, motionless.

“want it?” he asked.

you faulted, nodding slightly.

“or do you want something else?” he asked, his voice breathy.

you opened and closed your mouth, almost like a nutcracker, trying so desperately to find something, anything to come out.

you whimpered at the pure dominance you felt from donghyuck, before sighing internally.

not that. that was not what you were after.

donghyuck smirked, “so it’s the something else, huh?”

he sucked on the ice-cream himself, finishing it off as you watched him suck and slurp every last drop.

“sweet.”

“donghyuck—”

“it’s okay,” he shrugged, “i know, the boys will be home soon, so we can’t.”

you stared, open-mouthed, as your boyfriend sat back on the sofa casually, placing a pillow over his lap and hoping the problem would go away.

or that you’d give in.

see, donghyuck knew he had already won. you had obviously spotted what he was trying to do with his hands; and you had obviously spotted his hard-on that you’d created when trying to sink him.

but you couldn’t sink him. he sunk you instead.

D-0hr41m

you were stubborn, though, he’d give you that.

he hadn’t expected you to sit back on the opposite side of the sofa, pretending to watch the movie while you snuck glances at your boyfriend, squeezing your thighs together and bouncing your feet around in anticipation and pure want.

not that donghyuck was any better. he’d taken the pillow off his lap, and now he was bouncing his leg up and down, hoping that maybe it would get the blood to flow in other places. but here he was, stuck with a raging boner and a soaking wet you on the other side of the sofa, both of you too stubborn for your own goods.

D-0hr34m

“y/n,” donghyuk called, wondering back to the living room.

he climbed onto the sofa, sitting right beside you as he held out a lollipop.

you raised an eyebrow, “hmm?”

“do you want this?” he asked, “cause i’d love to watch you eat it.”

your breathing became ragid as you squeezed your thighs shut.

donghyuck rested his hand on your inner thigh, prying them open.

“hey, hey,” he said gently, “you can see my... little problem, why shouldn’t i be able to see yours?”

he opened your legs wider, smirking as he saw the visible wet patch that had formed on your grey panties.

“donghyuck, please,” you whined, finally snapping as his hand danced over your wide-open inner thighs.

“please what?” he said, leaning further away, “you want this lollipop? or do you want something else in that mouth of yours?”

you whined and your boyfriend tutted.

“words please.”

“something else,” you said quietly.

donghyuck smirked, cupping your face with his hand, before rubbing his thumb over your bottom lip and slipping it inside, pressing down on your tongue.

“like this?” he asked, as you nodded desperately.

donghyuck smiled, removing his thumb and instead pushing two fingers into your mouth until you gagged.

“too much?” he asked, “no, never enough for my princess, right?”

you shook your head as donghyuck smiled, removing his fingers and instead, pressing his lips against yours. the kiss was heavy, his tongue swirling around your mouth, his lips showing no sign of leaving yours as he brushed some of your hair behind your shoulder, laying you down and hovering over you.

he finally pulled away, both of you breathless as he kissed down your jaw, not forgetting to nibble your ear beforehand. he left marks in his wake, one below your ear and one underneath your chin. he continued his trail, down your neck and across your collarbones.

“can i take this off, darling?” he asked.

you nodded, “please, i’m so hot.”

donghyuck chuckled, leaning back on his knees and pulled his shirt off from your body, leaning down and pressing a kiss to each of your nipples, leaving you reeling for more as you lifted your back of the sweaty sofa.

“donghyuck-ah,” you moaned, donghyuck grinding his crotch against yours to stop your squirming.

“yes, princess?”

“want to mark you,” you said, still breathless as nothing but lust overtook your body.

donghyuck nodded, pulling his shirt off before turning you over so that you were hovering over him.

you kissed down from the base of his neck, to the little happy trail leading inside his pyjama bottoms.

you started to kiss back up, leaving love marks on donghyuck’s tummy and up to his toned chest, as he stopped you.

“what?” you panted, “are you okay?”

he hummed, “i just miss your lips.”

you giggled as donghyuck sat up, pushing you back against the other end of the sofa as he smashed his lips to yours.

his chest was flat against yours, his hand moving down the curve of your back as you lifted it off the sofa, trying desperately to create friction between your soaked heat and your boyfriend’s hard-on.

“be patient, princess,” he whispered, pulling away for a second, “i don’t want to fuck you on the sofa, you know that, right?”

“why not?” you giggled, running a hand through his hair as your legs wrapped around his waist, “i want you so bad, donghyuck, i just—”

donghyuck shushed you by slamming his lips against yours again, making you moan, him using that as his opportunity to slide his tongue back inside.

“that is not what i like to see on a friday evening,” jaemin declared.

D-0hr0m

“what the fuck?!” donghyuck exclaimed, “you said you’d be home at like 10!”

“news flash, it’s like 10,” renjun said, showing donghyuck his phone.

donghyuck groaned, leaning down and picking his shirt off the floor keeping his chest pressed against yours for decency.

“turn around then,” he said, glaring at the members.

the five boys turned around, allowing you to sit up and pull your boyfriend’s shirt over your head.

“done,” you sighed.

“what are we watching?!” chenle exclaimed, jumping on the sofa.

“oh, i’ve seen kingsman before! it’s really good,” jisung said.

“hmm, we saw it in the cinema, didn’t we?” jeno said, sitting beside jaemin on the loveseat beside the sofa.

you sighed, rolling your eyes as you looked at donghyuck.

“um, we’re gonng go to my room,” donghyuck said.

“no the fuck you’re not,” jaemin said, “i’m watching this film and i do not want your noises in the background.”

“i’m sorry i have a problem,” donghyuck hissed, motioning to his pyjama bottoms, “we’re gonna go to my room whether you like it or not, enjoy your film.”

you giggled, waving to the boys as donghyuck pulled you into his bedroom, shoving you onto his bed, “where were we, hmm? i believe you were desperate for my fingers?”

“that was ages ago, catch up,” you teased.

“hmm, being a brat? i see,” donghyuck nodded, “i was gonna say let’s keep the volume down for the boys, but i guess not.”

#nct dream scenarios #nct dream smut #nct scenarios #nct smut #lee donghyuck scenarios #lee donghyuck smut #haechan scenarios #haechan smut #donghyuck scenarios #donghyuck smut #kpop #sm #sm entertainment

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queen-of-my-goofball-army · 3 years

Text

An Ode To Miyazaki:

Hi everyone! So for my final paper for film, we had to pick our own director of our choosing and talk about them extensively between the attributes that make them special. Our course focused on the narrative and technical styles of directors. For my final project, I have chosen my biggest hero in the world of animation and somebody that drastically changed my life as a young child, Hayao Miyazaki. Learning about him for this project gave me so much insight into not just his films but who he is as a person. I hope that my paper is as interesting for you to read as it was for me to do research for!

1. Hayao Miyazaki, often referred to as the Japanese Walt Disney is the front runner of his animation studio Studio Ghibli. I picked him because I already have sufficient knowledge and love of his films. One of the first memories that my parents love to remind me of is my first time watching Totoro and laughing at the introduction characters. Miyazaki himself stands out for a number of reasons. Over the years, Miyazaki has made a humongous name out of himself, one of his most famous movies Spirited Away became the most popular film to ever be released in Japan and also won the academy award for the best-animated film that year. His most “popular” films (I say popular in air quotes because it is nearly impossible for people to agree on a favorite) remain the aforementioned Spirited Away, My Neighbor Totoro, Howl’s Moving Castle, and Princess Mononoke. Beginning his career as a simple animator for Toei animation, he worked as an in-between artist. It was here that he met his future collaborator at Ghibli, Isao Takahata. His first big directorial debut in film before founding Ghibli was a team effort without Takahata was Lupin The Third, The Castle Of Cagliostro. His first successful movie was one that was based upon his own manga Nausicaa of the Valley Of The Wind. The first official Miyazaki movie that was made with Ghibli was one of my personal all-time favorites that had ever been created, Castle In The Sky. For many children, especially ones with parents who are lovers of a film like mine, Miyazaki was one of the first animators that I was introduced to. His films have become classics for every fan of animation, being referenced in culture, specifically back when Disney owned Studio in Toy Story 3, Bonnie has a Totoro.

2. So, this brings up the question, how does one recognize a film by Miyazaki? You can always expect for him to be critically acclaimed, for there to be some element of magic and whimsy in the way that he animates, for there to be something to do with flight (whether it be dealing with airplanes like in Porco Rosso, the idea of flight in Howl’s Moving Castle, or a floating castle up in the sky in Castle In The Sky.), his heroines are always strong-minded and live by their own rules never bowing down to anybody, his love stories are dynamic and fulfilled, a sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, and they have a meaning about nature somewhere, mostly about why it needs to be protected.

Let’s start by breaking him down narratively. The thing that is always in every Miyazaki film no matter which one you decide upon watching, is that his female characters are always strong-willed no matter what. In many ways, I think that he writes women better than Disney does. He has gone on record saying “Many of my movies have strong female leads—brave, self-sufficient girls that don't think twice about fighting for what they believe with all their heart. They'll need a friend, or a supporter, but never a savior. Any woman is just as capable of being a hero as any man.” Sometimes, this will cause them to come across as reckless, or stupid, but in my opinion, I have always looked up to his female characters and the way that they are portrayed. My personal favorite female character that he has ever brought to life through the screen is Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle. She is strong-minded, not willing to put up with any of Howl’s dramatics, kind, an incredible adult figure for Markal, endlessly sympathetic to her friend’s plights (namely Howl and Calcifer), and somebody that I can always look up to. I spent most of my childhood looking up to characters like Kiki in Kiki’s Delivery Service, Chihiro in Spirited Away, or one of my personal favorite underrated girls, Fio in Porco Rosso. All of these female characters are independent and never let themselves be taken advantage of by anybody.

Another trait that can always be found narratively in his films is that Miyazaki is an airplane/ air travel fanatic. He absolutely loves airplanes, even to the point where his latest film, The Wind Rises was based upon the life of one of the first airplane manufacturers in WWII. Almost all of his films will involve something about flying in the air. Even with the ones that he didn’t direct and he just simply wrote. His obsession with flight is something that stemmed from his childhood and he never saw them as a thing to be used for war “airplanes are not tools for war. They are not for making money. Airplanes are beautiful dreams. Engineers turn dreams into reality.” My personal favorite of all of his flight animation is used in Howl’s Moving Castle when Howl and Sophie “fly” over the heads of all the people below them.

Narratively also one of the biggest things that set apart his films from any others is his focus on nature. The idea of protecting the beauty of nature is something that he has always stood by. A lot of the time, America tries to prove that it can make films about nature as well to usually varying results. I think that nobody can sell an environmental message quite like my biggest hero for Japanese animation. One of the main movies that focus on his will to protect nature above all else is Princess Mononoke. He always manages to animate nature in such a beautiful and majestic way no matter where the film is set.

I also think that a narrative trait of his that often gets overlooked is how beautiful the romance in his films can be. He never has a romance between two characters that feels stale or boring. I love the fact that you can pick any number of his films and the chance of there being a romance that you’ll get sucked into is a very large one. Everybody has their personal favorites, I love Howl and Sophie from Howl’s Moving Castle but my best friend loves Sousuke and Ponyo from Ponyo. He has on record saying that “I’ve become skeptical of the unwritten rule that just because a boy and girl appear in the same feature, a romance must ensue. Rather, I want to portray a slightly different relationship, one where the two mutually inspire each other to live - if I’m able to, then perhaps I’ll be closer to portraying a true expression of love.” Writing romance between two characters can be a very tricky thing which is why it’s always amazing when he can continually pull it off despite everything and how many films that he has made over the years. The beauty of having both a strong and independent male and the female character is that they can both lean on one another for love and support. Probably the biggest supporter of this is Whisper Of The Heart, a film that he wrote instead of directing. The romance is what makes up the entire film. It’s a beautiful love story about how two young teenagers fall in love with each other. The romance is something that continually keeps me coming back for more every time.

Technical style Miyazaki can always be assured to deliver breathtakingly stunning animation. There is a reason why so many people leave his films starving because the food that he draws always looks so good. For me though, it’s the backgrounds that stand out above all else. It’s nearly impossible to have one favorite shot in one of his films but I as a matter of fact do have one. The most breathtaking animation in any Miyazaki film is the scene where Howl takes Sophie to see his secret garden. Everything about this scene never fails to make my breath catch. It’s such a profoundly beautiful moment and how it is animated is something that I haven’t forgotten since my first initial viewing of the film when I was seven.

Another iconic technical trait is that Disney did a fantastic job dubbing the films from their original Japanese language into English. Back when Ghibli films first started to become popular, they needed a way for an American audience to see them. So Pixar’s CFO at the time, John Lassater made a deal with Ghibli that they would dub all the films from their original language for a brand new audience. Growing up, this was how I watched all of Miyazaki’s films. I fell in love with the way that they sounded in English. To this very day, I have yet to see one of his films in any other language. I don’t think that anybody could have dubbed them better. Ever since Ghibli and Disney went their separate ways and they went to GKids the dubs haven’t been the same.

Finally, the last technical trait is that a Miyazaki film will always have a score done by his longtime collaborator Joe Hizashi. The score is such a big part of what makes Miyazaki’s films his own. They are what get you sucked in through their whimsical and magical tones; they always fit the vibes that he’s going through at that moment. There is also the element of sound. Every Miyazaki film has a distinct sound effect that will set it apart from the one before it.

3. The first film that I want to look at is my personal favorite of all his films that he has made so far if you were to force me to pick just one Howl’s Moving Castle. Released in 2004, it was the 9th film that the director came out with. It has an 8.2 out of 10 on IMDB and an 87% on Rotten Tomatoes. The storyline for the movie follows a young woman named Sophie. She gets a curse set upon her by the Witch of the Waste and when she leaves home she finds the infamous Howl’s Moving Castle. This is the second Ghibli movie voiced by a Batman live action actor. Christian Bale voiced Howl Pendragon after Michael Keaton played the titular Porco Rosso.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. From how strong of a female character Sophie is I spent most of my childhood looking up to her as a character. Strong female characters are everywhere in his films and in my opinion, Sophie is one of the strongest. Another strong factor is that flight plays a major part in this film. One of Howl’s main powers is that he has the ability to fly around. This leads to my favorite scene of flight in any Miyazaki film when Howl takes Sophie’s hand and they “fly” over the tops of the city down below them. All of his early films up until the last few were set in someplace other than Japan. This one is set in Europe, and he takes a lot of time while in the cities to show off all the different types of buildings while Sophie tours around the city.

Technically speaking this is also a Miyazaki film and holds all the titular traits of being so. The animation is utterly for lack of a better word, magical and spellbinding. It takes my breath away every time that I rewatch it. The food looks incredible, one scene that most of Miyazaki’s fans always think of when this movie is brought up is Calcifer making the food for Howl, Sophie, and Markal to eat. The dub for this film is also one of Disney’s best dubs for Miyazaki films. It even brings actors to the table that I usually would not like to see in other films like Christian Bale. I haven’t loved him in any other films than this one. Billy Crystal is a stand-out as well as my favorite fire demon Calcifer. The score is done by Joe Hizashi as well. My favorite part of the score is the main theme which has Howl and Sophie floating above the people below. The sound effect that follows throughout this film is the steady creaking of the castle itself.

Princess Mononoke was the first time that Miyazaki ever “retired”. Most of the time, whenever he tries to retire, he always comes back. A lot of his colleague's joke that it’s because he physically can’t stop working. He animated most of this movie by himself. Before Spirited Away it was Japan’s most famous film to date. The story about a young man who is just trying to erase the curse that was set upon him by an angry boar and it leads him to a place called Iron Town is something that never fails to amaze me. While in Iron Town, Ashitaka meets a young woman named San who was taken in by wolves and he finds himself caught between a war involving humans and the gods of the forest.

Narratively this is definitely a Miyazaki film. It has a strong female lead, focusing most of its screen time on how important it is to protect and preserve nature as a whole. The idea of protecting nature is such a moving part of the film, as we see what it does when man takes over the forest. We see how distraught it makes the Gods of this world and how they wish that the humans would just go away. However, you also see it from the point of view of the villain of the film Lady Eboshi, who also regularly helps lepers and people who would often never get work outside of her offering them a home and a family. I have regularly gotten into a debate with my mom over which side is “right” and which side “wrong” over the course of the last few years of me being a massive fan of this movie. She takes the side of the forest while I see Ashitaka’s side that everybody should just get along and interact in peace and harmony. Miyazaki never shoves the idea of nature down your throat. That is not what this film is. It’s instead about the beauty of what we have and learning to appreciate it.

On a technical level, this film is fantastic as well. It blows my mind that Miyazaki-san animated most of it all by himself. The backgrounds are sweeping and utterly gorgeous showing off the time period of the film. The fight sequences which make up the bulk of the film’s running time are engaging, thrilling, and fabulously animated. Mononoke’s score was done by Joe Hizashi as well. Its score is beautiful and I always find myself getting sucked into it, especially for the more dynamic scenes with Ashitaka and San. The sound effect for this film uses nature as a backdrop for brutality. Ashitaka’s arrows don’t just come out of his bow, they screech through the air.

Finally, my last film that we will be focusing on, Kiki’s Delivery Service was made in 1989 a year after his cult phenomena My Neighbor Totoro and was his fifth animated feature. Kiki is a young girl that is hoping to become a young witch in training. However, to do so she has to train a year away from home. She and her cat Jiji find a town by the sea where she learns her true strength and what she can really do to help others. Hayao Miyazaki didn't want to bore the audience during the film's end credits by using just the names. He set it up to be like a mini-sequel so that the audience would leave the theatre feeling happy.

Narratively this has all the traits that one should be familiar with and associate with a Miyazaki film. It has a strong-minded female character at the source of it that young girls can look up to and admire. As a kid, Kiki was my favorite female character of his because I loved her strength and her dedication to what she was good at. She knew that she was still young and had a lot to learn but even though she gets depressed she doesn’t let that stop her in the long run and will still save her love interest Tombo. The romance in this film is by far one of the sweetest. I love the interactions between the characters and the way that they both inspire one another to be better than they are. The idea of flight is basically the focal point of everything. Kiki finds that her best trait is that she flies incredibly well and decides to create her own flying delivery service.

Technically this also has a lot of traits that Miyazaki made a name for himself in doing. The animation is spectacular, especially for Kiki’s flying. I could watch her fly around all day and that was the idea that he was going for while making the film. The sweeping score by Joe Hizashi, especially in my favorite song A Town With An Ocean View, is something that I’ll often listen to outside of the film itself. The sound effects for the film are meant to be calming. From the first sound that you hear of the wind rolling through the reeds while Kiki lies against the grass to the waves when she finally finds a home.

4. Miyazaki as a director has inspired me since I was way too young to even remember. When I was a kid I would pretend to run around my apartment building's front yard imagining that I lived in a big house in front of a camper tree like the one in Totoro. His movies are perfect for children that “suffer” from having an overactive imagination. His movies are everything that is bright and beautiful in the world. The animation never fails to take my breath away, the characters and stories are unforgettable, the soundtracks sweep me away and tell stories themselves. His movies are something that even my parents, who are not anime fans, can watch over and over again. I think that speaks for itself. Miyazaki makes films that are art, not just animated films.

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satorisa · 3 years

Text

Falling: Chapter 3 - In Which the Boys Have the Best Sleepover Ever

Rating: T

Summary: "I wanna forget all this burden in my past."

Alternate Reading: AO3

Because the best sleepovers involve watching Studio Ghibli movies, right?

With the May holidays coming up, Daisuke’s parents planned to go out of town to visit their college friends. Grandpa Daiki had left for Italy about a week earlier with a close friend to enjoy wood-fired pizzas, lemons the size of his face, and the beautiful, Sicilian breeze. And so, until Grandpa Daiki returned to Japan the Monday of the holiday week, it was unanimously decided that Daisuke would spend the weekend at the Saehara household.

“What’s the occasion?” Risa asked when she saw the duffel bag Daisuke had that Friday morning. “Running away from home?”

Daisuke nearly protested when Takeshi swooped in, wrapping his arm around Daisuke’s shoulder. “Nope! He’s sleeping over at my place for the weekend! Are ya—” Takeshi began to bounce his eyebrows. “—jealous?”

Risa laughed. “Jealous? Of not being invited to your ham fest? Puh-lease.”

Satoshi appeared on the other side of Daisuke and silently waved at Risa. She returned the gesture.

“Congrats on waking up early again, Hiwatari-kun. You’ve been on a roll lately.”

“Thank you.”

“So,” Risa asked with a grin, “what do you guys have planned for your super special sleepover?”

“I think we’re baking this evening,” Daisuke answered. “Then we’re marathoning Studio Ghibli films.”

“Absolute classics,” Takeshi interjected.

“Tomorrow, we’re taking Satoshi out to buy some clothes and…uh…spend the rest of the evening talking until we fall asleep.”

“For our brotherhood,” Takeshi interjected again.

“And then we’ll spend the rest of Sunday watching Studio Ghibli movies until we pass out.”

Risa blinked before she started laughing. “Actually, I take that back. I’m a little jealous I’m not invited.”

“You can’t sleep over, of course, but you’re free to join us!” Takeshi said, excitement dripping with each syllable.

She just smiled. “I’ll let you know if I can.”

…

Since Risa had lunch plans with Ritsuko that day, the boys decided to eat in Daisuke’s classroom. They needed to meet up before they headed home for the weekend to prepare themselves for Risa’s potential company.

“Boys,” Takeshi said as he sat down, “I shot my shot.”

“Congrats,” Daisuke said as he unwrapped his bread.

“Did you have to invite her over?” Satoshi grumbled, digging into the bento Takeshi packed for them that morning.

“Look, I get that you’ve got issues, but what’s the worst thing that could happen? Is she gonna try to get you alone to finagle information about Dark from you?”

Satoshi looked at Takeshi straight in the eye and knocked on the desk. Takeshi broke out in raucous laugher, and both Takeshi and Daisuke knocked on the desks they sat at in solidarity.

“I don’t think she’ll do that, though,” Daisuke reassured. “I think she was genuinely interested in what we’re actually doing.”

“I know,” Takeshi said with a smug smile. “She was hooked the moment you said we’re baking later.”

“Don’t tell me you tailored this weekend just for her,” Satoshi said.

“What little faith do you have in me?” Takeshi feigned offence. “I tailored this weekend just for you.”

Satoshi shrugged. “Could’ve fooled me.”

Takeshi shot him a quick glare before downing several large bites of his lunch. He chased it with water and, after a loud burp, he met both Daisuke’s and Satoshi’s gazes.

“Alrighty boys, let’s set some ground rules for this weekend if we so happen to find ourselves in Harada-imouto’s presence.” He raised a finger. “1) We do not joke about or discuss my crush on her around her. If she finds out, you are dead to me.” He raised another finger. “2) Satoshi is not to be left alone with her at all. For his safety. And, uh—” Takeshi put his hand down. “—that’s about it.”

“Um…I think I need to add one more rule,” Daisuke said.

“Aight. Add away.”

“3) Risa-chan cannot be left alone with me, either.”

Satoshi focused on his bento, picking at the eggs with his chopsticks. Takeshi leaned in, eyes glistening with curiosity.

“What secrets are you hiding from me, oh dear best friend?”

…

One of the underclassmen from the art club caught Satoshi on the way to the shoe lockers, so Takeshi went ahead while Satoshi talked to them. They quickly chatted about the en plein air social the club had planned during the holidays before going on their merry way with an enthusiastic farewell.

Those cute underclassmen of his were starting to grow on him.

After he switched his shoes out, he spotted Takeshi and Daisuke waiting by the entrance. He expected to leave with them to enjoy a fun evening with the boys when a familiar pink ribbon came into his field of vision.

“Hey, guys!” Risa greeted while Ritsuko, who trailed behind her, waved. “My parents said I could come over for some baked goods this evening! Mind if Ritsuko tags along?”

“The more, the merrier!” Takeshi said. “Welcome aboard the fun train, Fukuda!”

“I’m just here to steal your recipe for Valentine’s Day.”

He laughed, and the group was about to head out when Satoshi’s phone rang. He saw Inspector Saehara’s caller ID and picked up.

“Sorry to ruin yer plans and all, but somethin’ urgent just popped up that needs to be done ASAP.”

“Is it more urgent than baking?”

“I know you’re upset, Satoshi, but—”

“I’m telling Saehara-san that you called me in for work and ruined my youthful sleepover.”

“Satoshi, please don’t call—”

He hung up. The group looked at him in awe.

“Sorry, but something came up at the station. Have fun for me.”

…

Inspected Saehara locked the door to the office behind him. Satoshi glared at the older man, and he just guffawed.

“I’m really sorry, Satoshi.”

Fuming, he ignored Inspector Saehara’s apology and marched back home without him. When he arrived, Risa and Ritsuko were long gone. A half-eaten cake sat on the table, and Takeshi and Daisuke were playing a video game in the living room.

They looked away from the TV and, instead of greeting him, they started laughing at him for being a young professional. Satoshi’s eyebrows furrowed more as he ignored them, chucking his school bag at the sofa (narrowly missing Takeshi) before helping himself to some cake.

Plate in hand, Satoshi sat on the floor by Daisuke before having a bite. (Dark chocolate with ganache. Delectably moist, decadently rich and, most importantly, not too sweet.)

He watched them play while eating his cake, purposefully ignoring Inspector Saehara when he finally arrived with dinner. They all gathered in the living room, digging into the fried chicken as they began their movie marathon. They watched Princess Mononoke first since it was Inspector Saehara’s favorite film from the Studio Ghibli collection but, when the old man began to snore halfway through, Takeshi banished him to the master bedroom, and his muffled snores accompanied Joe Hisaishi’s ethereal score until the movie ended.

Daisuke ducked into the downstairs bathroom to get ready for bed in case he fell asleep while watching the movies, so Satoshi went upstairs to change and freshen up when he saw a text from Risa.

She sent him a picture from earlier; the girls stood to the left, guys on the right, as they framed the cake in the middle. The message underneath read: “had lots of fun earlier! hope we can do this again soon!”

Satoshi blinked, wondering what prompted Risa to text him. They only ever messaged each other to confirm plans with the group or to find each other in crowds: general housekeeping more than anything.

Satoshi: Did Fukuda steal the recipe?

Risa: yup! she’s got it stashed away on her phone! :)

He wondered what possessed him to message her, but the speed at which she replied with was astounding. His phone pinged again, and he saw another text from her.

Risa: how’s the movie marathon?

Satoshi: We just finished watching Princess Mononoke.

Risa: good choice! wish I could’ve stayed longer to watch with you guys :(

Satoshi: You’re still welcome to join us on Sunday if you’d like.

Risa: i’ll see if i can! thanks for the invite, hiwatari-kun!”

Satoshi sat at his desk, focused on his phone. And when Risa no longer responded, he left his phone on his desk to charge before heading downstairs. Daisuke was still taking a shower, but Takeshi was in the kitchen making hot cocoa.

When Takeshi saw Satoshi, he pulled him into a hug.

“Bro, thank you for inviting Risa over on Sunday.”

…

The boys breezed through more of the Studio Ghibli catalogue, getting through Castle in the Sky, Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind, until they began to fall asleep while watching Porco Rosso. Takeshi leaned on Satoshi’s left shoulder, snoring at a tolerable volume and occasionally mumbling something in gibberish. Daisuke leaned on Satoshi’s right shoulder, cheek smushed into Satoshi’s upper arm while he hung onto Satoshi’s appendage like a sloth.

And Satoshi, enamored by the Studio Ghibli magic that gave life to a story about a pilot-turned-pig in the Adriatic Sea, watched on. And only when the credits began, with its calming music, did Satoshi join his friends.

…

Satoshi woke up to hear something sizzling on the stove. He rubbed his eyes awake before sitting up on the sofa. The blanket that covered him rolled off his chest as the cool air from the AC hit him, and he saw Takeshi and Daisuke in the kitchen.

(Inspector Saehara was not in the kitchen, but Satoshi picked out his snores from the room in the lulls of the sound of breakfast.)

When he finally came to, he joined the duo. He silently greeted them while he began to make coffee, filling up the kettle for some hot water.

Satoshi stood separated from the bustle in the kitchen, watching the kettle while Takeshi and Daisuke made small talk. Only when the kettle clicked did Satoshi move as he began to grind the coffee beans. He made enough coffee for Inspector Saehara to have his daily two cups and poured some out for the boys before joining them at the table.

“Dude, Satoshi’s coffee is to die for.”

Daisuke laughed before taking a sip. His face lit up, surprised, before he took another sip. “Wow, this is great! Thanks, Satoshi!”

He just nodded. Silent.

Even though he hadn’t said a word all morning, the guys didn’t force him to join their conversation. They let him be, just like he wanted, as he relished in this moment.

After they said their thanks, they dug into the breakfast. And while Satoshi silently ate, listening to Takeshi and Daisuke talk about the most menial of things, Satoshi genuinely wished that they could do this again.

…

Commissioner Hiwatari never took Satoshi out to shop for clothes. He would come home with items that somehow always fit but were always more fashionable than comfortable or practical. (And, if Satoshi had to be honest, he hated everything Commissioner Hiwatari bought him.)

Satoshi thought Takeshi would take him to a Uniqlo or SHIPS, but the trio found themselves in front of the department store.

“…with what money are we buying my clothes?” Satoshi asked, adjusting the tote slung over his shoulder.

“Ma said to charge it as a business expense.”

“…how?”

Takeshi shrugged before rolling up his sleeves. “Alright, fellas, we’ve got one job today, so let’s stay focused. No distractions!”

“Says the one who always gets distracted by the food and kitchen appliances,” Daisuke joked.

Takeshi glared before they walked in, politely turning down the makeup samples they could bring back to their “girlfriends” as they made their way to the escalator. Daisuke and Takeshi pulled their phones out as they ascended, but Satoshi looked down at the sprawling floor in awe. Everything shone, neatly displayed or folded, and he was too enthralled by the sight that he didn’t feel the pang of regret that often accompanied him finally experiencing something he should’ve long experienced as a child.

When they made it to the floor that housed the men’s section, mannequins dressed in sleek suits greeted them. Satoshi recognized those brands as the high-end ones that made up most of Commissioner Hiwatari’s closet, and Satoshi marched on to find something less expensive. He passed by some popular streetwear brands, only known to him because of Takeshi and Daisuke’s mild interest in fashion, until he finally found more subdued pieces of clothing that catered to his tastes.

“Satoshi, uh, that brand’s—”

Takeshi’s warning came too late. Satoshi looked at the tag, and the price bounced in his head. It was too damn expensive for a casual sweater, so much so that seeing that many numbers together physically hurt.

“Takeshi, this was a terrible idea.”

“Bro, you literally aren’t even trying right now.”

“But—” Satoshi gestured to the clothes surrounding them. “—there’s too much to look through. And they’re probably all pricey.”

Takeshi sighed. “Just ask someone to help you.”

“I’m sorry?”

“Just go up to one of the attendants and ask them to help you. I’m sure they can find something for you.”

Satoshi just blinked, looking at Takeshi like he had said something in Russian. Takeshi returned Satoshi’s confused expression, and Daisuke laughed when he finally caught on.

“Are you too nervous to ask them for help?” Daisuke asked.

Satoshi Hiwatari, literal kid detective, college graduate at the tender age of fourteen, terrified to ask for help at the department store?

Absolutely.

Takeshi smirked, and Satoshi sighed, leaving the thoroughly entertained duo before asking one of the attendants for help. She directed him to a brand he wasn’t familiar with, but Satoshi liked the style and, most importantly, enjoyed the price point.

And after Satoshi tried on what he picked out, narrowing down the pile of clothes he brought with him to the fitting room, they paid before heading downstairs so Takeshi could fawn over the food. Satoshi followed him, wondering what samples he could taste, while Daisuke went off to grab something for Riku when he visited her during the holidays.

After stopping Takeshi from buying an extravagant set of chocolates, Satoshi spotted a familiar pink ribbon tying back brown locks. Lo and behold, Harada Risa was in her natural habitat at the department store, admiring the cases full of desserts while she carried a basket of impeccable looking strawberries in her hand. He ducked behind the closest fruit stand.

“Takeshi!” he harshly whispered.

“Ye?”

“Harada is here!”

Satoshi motioned towards the preoccupied girl, and Takeshi’s face lit up. What a serendipitous occasion for them to meet at the department store! But a familiar mop of red popped into his field of vision and was in the peripheries of a certain girl who would most definitely stop him were she to see him.

Thus, by virtue of the bro code, Rule Number 3 of this sleepover took precedent. But it also gave Takeshi a fantastic opportunity.

“I’ll distract her,” Takeshi whispered. “Get Daisuke out of here.”

“Where do we meet up?”

“Men’s section. We should be safe there.”

Satoshi nodded.

“Harada-chan!”

She turned around and greeted Takeshi. Satoshi couldn’t hear what they were talking about, but she saw Daisuke briskly walk towards him. He ducked behind the stand next to Satoshi, and they silently watched Takeshi lead her away for them to escape.

May his shot go well.

…

“So, what’s the real reason why you can’t be left alone with Harada?” Satoshi asked as the two of them sat down in the men’s section.

“Is Riku being jealous of her sister not a good enough reason?”

“I’m sure it’s part of the reason, but I feel like that’s not the whole thing.”

“Is that your detective instinct?”

“No. You’re just a little too obvious sometimes,” Satoshi said with a smile.

Daisuke sighed while Satoshi directed his attention to the passersby. A frantic woman passed by, quickly talking to someone on the phone in English.

“It’s just…Risa-chan has been a lot more clingy lately to the point that Riku’s starting to get annoyed with how much time I spend with her. And I’m having a sneaking suspicion that it has something to do with Dark.”

“Like residual feelings of some sort?”

“Yeah, but I don’t know what do with that.”

“Talk to her about it?”

“I can’t do that.”

“Why? Because you’re dating her sister?”

“Yeah. That’s one of the reasons, but I also don’t want to put her on the spot for it, especially if she doesn’t know what she’s doing.”

“Is that why you were a little too excited to hear about Takeshi’s feelings for her?”

“Yeah,” Daisuke sheepishly admitted. “It’s the easiest way to resolve it. A win-win situation for everyone involved.”

“That involves Harada returning his feelings.”

“There’s always a chance.”

“You’re holding onto a slim hope, then.”

Daisuke laughed. “Better to be optimistic, I always say.”

“Well, I’m sure there are other guys in our grade we could always…gently persuade to pursue Harada were she to turn down Takeshi’s feelings.”

His friend shook his head in disbelief that Satoshi even suggested such an idea while Satoshi laughed. If Takeshi couldn’t worm his way into Risa’s heart, no one else in their grade would be able to. Only a person with such outstanding confidence like Takeshi could handle Risa’s overwhelming personality.

Either that or…

That wasn’t a train of thought he was willing to entertain. Not now. And, hopefully, not ever.

Satoshi spotted Takeshi’s spiky hair in his peripheries as he rode up the escalator, shining with jubilee.

“Hello, men,” he greeted as the enthusiasm faded from his face. “What the hell have you two been talking about to make y’all look like death?”

“We’re bracing ourselves for the interrogation later by screening our answers,” Satoshi answered.

Takeshi glared at him.

…

“You did what?”

Mama Saehara’s voice boomed through the house. The boys just arrived, and they stood at the entrance, removing their shoes while trying to make as little noise as possible.

Satoshi had never heard her sound like that. Her voice always had a light and cheerful tone despite her powerful looks, yet she sounded exactly like he expected her to in that moment.

“It was an emergency!” Inspector Saehara retorted. “I know that he had plans an’ all, but—”

“But what? You think work is more important than what you made him miss?”

“Well—”

Mama Saehara screamed a flurry of French, and Inspector Saehara gasped before replying to whatever she just said in Japanese. Takeshi sighed as they bickered on.

“I’m sorry about this, y’all.”

“It’s fine,” Daisuke said. “My parents get like this sometimes, too. Even grandpa has his moments.”

Satoshi blinked. It sounded like Inspector Saehara and Mama Saehara were arguing over what happened yesterday, but he didn’t realize they would get so heated over something like that. Satoshi had completely gotten over being called to work when he woke up that morning, so he couldn’t empathize with them arguing about it.

“Is this normal?” Satoshi asked.

“Honestly, I’m surprised it took you this long to hear them like this, but I guess they’ve probably been holdin’ back because of you.”

Mama Saehara let out another exasperated string of words in French. Inspector Saehara demanded she repeat it in Japanese, taunting her, and she did without any hesitation. The boys gasped.

“I thought they got along,” Satoshi said.

“They do,” Takeshi said. “I mean, how else could they have been married for this long?”

“But—”

“This is normal!” Takeshi assured. “Besides, what family doesn’t argue?”

Daisuke nodded. Satoshi, however, decided he had had enough of the petty argument and marched into the kitchen to try to diffuse the situation.

Inspector Saehara sat at the table with his phone leaning against his mug. He looked up from the screen and balked at the sight of Satoshi before shooting him an awkward smile.

“Hey, Satoshi,” Inspector Saehara greeted. “How was yer trip to the department store?”

“Good.”

He expected Inspector Saehara to reply or for Mama Saehara to say something to him. She just grumbled something in French.

Inspector Saehara gasped.

“Have you no shame in cussin’ me out in a different language in front of our son?”

It was Satoshi’s turn to gasp. If only to lighten the situation.

Inspector Saehara cracked a smile.

…

Chips and beer in hand, Inspector Saehara retreated to the master bedroom. And, arms full of snacks, the boys retreated to Takeshi and Satoshi’s room upstairs. Satoshi sat at his desk, attempting to tidy his mess, while Takeshi and Daisuke sat on Takeshi’s bed, sharing an opened bag of chips.

“So…” Takeshi began.

“So…” Satoshi echoed.

Takeshi glared at Satoshi, and he smirked back. Daisuke laughed at his friend’s antics before munching on a handful of chips, cutting through the tension in the room.

“Tell us why you like Risa-chan,” Daisuke started.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Takeshi asked. “She’s adorable.”

“Then why’d you only start liking her recently?” Satoshi quipped.

“Hey, if you wanna take the floor, then you spill.”

“Do you want to cry?”

Both Daisuke and Takeshi looked at Satoshi, mortified, but he just laughed. Perhaps it was in bad taste to joke about what had happened to him, but Satoshi didn’t have any deep secrets or life problems to spill besides it.

Takeshi pouted. “You’re disqualified from speaking from here on out.”

Satoshi gave him a thumbs up with a smile. Takeshi returned it before he began to rock back and forth like a metronome.

“Honestly, I don’t really know, man,” Takeshi admitted. “After Harada-ane moved away and Harada-imouto started to hang out with us a lot more, I jus’ started to pay more attention to her an’ all. Next thing ya know, I’m daydreamin’ about her in class.”

Daisuke nodded while Satoshi blinked. He didn’t mind talks of romance when casually mentioned or joked about, but he felt uncomfortable hearing Takeshi talk about it so sincerely. He opened the box of matcha Pocky and hoped no one noticed him snacking on something he would never willingly choose.

“And I can’t help it even though I think she’s got her heart set on another guy.”

Satoshi bit the stick of Pocky in half. His eyes bounced from Daisuke and Takeshi, noting Takeshi’s growing impatience and Daisuke’s obvious awkwardness.

Takeshi’s keenness never failed to surprise Satoshi.

“She probably likes you, Daisuke.”

“What? No…”

“Bro, have you seen how she acts around you? Look, man, I know you’re dense, but you can’t be that obtuse.”

Daisuke glanced over at Satoshi, eyes begging for help. But Satoshi zipped his lips, keeping to Takeshi’s words from earlier. And, honestly, he wanted no part in this conversation at all.

“Daisuke, please, be honest with me. I promise I’ll try my best not to take it personally.”

He sighed. “…I know. I’ve known for a while now, but I don’t know if she knows. And even if she does know, I don’t think she wants to acknowledge it.”

“Does she like you because you’re you or because you were Dark Mousy’s host or something like that?”

“I don’t know. I’m sure most of her feelings are coming from her residual feelings for Dark, but Riku also just moved away. I wouldn’t be surprised if she started getting attached to me, to us, to fill the void of her sister.”

Takeshi groaned before grabbing his pillow and digging his head into it. “Unrequited feelings suck, man.”

Daisuke nodded while Satoshi bobbed his head in reflex. He remembered the pang he felt when he realized how important Risa was to him despite knowing how she felt for Dark. His burgeoning feelings, no matter how fleeting, still haunted his mind. Somehow, someway, Risa always crawled into his life uninvited.

Unlike Takeshi, however, he couldn’t welcome any of those feelings he had for her.

Luckily, his friends didn’t notice his absent-minded expression as he stared at nothing in particular and precariously balanced the stick of Pocky in his mouth. When he came back to the conversation, Takeshi had a devilish smile on his face while he nudged a red-faced Daisuke with his elbow.

“Come on, you can tell us how far you’ve gone with Harada-ane!”

“Absolutely not!”

…

Satoshi woke up.

Daisuke and Takeshi were still asleep. And he was about to fall back asleep considering how late the trio had stayed up, but he saw slivers of light blue filtering through the blinds and the lethargic haze clouding his mind cleared up despite the sleep deprivation.

He sent Takeshi and Inspector Saehara a message saying he’d be out just in case they woke up while he was gone and, phone in hand, he left the house to grab breakfast for everyone. There was a coffeeshop by the police station he was partial to, and he didn’t mind taking the slight commute to get there.

Satoshi rarely found himself this alert so early in the morning, but he enjoyed the calm stillness of Azumano at dawn. If he began to consistently wake up at this time, he wouldn’t mind adding a morning walk to his daily routine.

He didn’t think the coffeeshop would be so busy on a Sunday morning, yet he saw a large group huddled around the register when he arrived. Satoshi noted how young they looked and wondered why a group of teens would be willingly awake this early on a Sunday until he saw Ritsuko intently looking at a tablet in her hands.

He went up to her. “Robotics competition?”

She turned towards him, initially shocked to see him there, but a smile quickly settled onto her face. “Yeah. It’s just an invitational, but we’re hoping to win something at least.”

“Good luck.”

“Thanks!” she said. “How’s your sleepover going so far?”

“Fun.”

She smirked. “Did you actually fall asleep last night?”

“Yeah. And I woke up early.”

“Unfortunately?”

“Fortunately. I’m sort of starting to like mornings.”

She laughed. “Well, I wish you the best of luck on your transition to become an early bird.”

The barista called their order, and the group swarmed around the counter. Ritsuko stood up and slipped the tablet into her bag.

“Sorry to cut this short, but we’ve got to head out now. See you around?”

“Of course. Kick their asses.”

Ritsuko blinked, taken aback by Satoshi’s choice of words before letting out a hearty laugh. “Saehara-kun really has rubbed off on you.”

After Ritsuko left with her club, Satoshi ordered. He waited at a table by the counter, enjoying the ambiance and the light muzak as he skimmed through the news on his phone.

After they called his name, he ambled home with the food and drinks in hand, watching Azumano wake up with every step he took. As the sun continued to rise and the sorbet-colored sky turned its usual hue of blue, he saw stores open, joggers zoom by him, and the occasional group of elderly women briskly walk past him. Everything felt different from the lunchtime hustle, the evening rush, like a car engine humming to life instead of zooming down the highway.

He really could get used to this.

When he returned home, the house was still. He began to unpack the food from the bags when he heard heavy footsteps barrel downstairs. Satoshi froze in place, and the sight of Takeshi coming into the kitchen couldn’t shake off the fear.

“Bro, Harada-imouto’s coming over around lunchtime later!”

“Cool.”

“Why do you look like you’ve seen a ghost?”

“You, um, scared me. With the loud noises and all.”

“Aw shit, fam. I’m sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Takeshi then noticed the food that Satoshi brought. He began to open the containers in excitement until he found an order he knew belonged to him. His face lit up before opening his arms. A proud grin eclipsed his face.

“Come here, brotha!”

“Too early. Hard pass…brotha.”

…

The boys (and Inspector Saehara) sat at the dining table, stiff from anticipation for Risa’s arrival. Inspector Saehara learned about his son’s feelings for the Saehara household guest after asking why the hell his son was making that much racket so damn early in the morning and, fully supporting his son’s infatuations, helped the boys clean up and splurge on some food from that fancy place he knew the Harada family frequented.

His boy’s gotta make a good impression somehow.

So, when they heard the doorbell ring, exactly at noon, they looked at Takeshi, begging him to let her in. They held their breath, pitying the lovesick fool when they heard his usual, confident babbling turn clumsy as he stumbled over his words. But when they heard the door close and saw Risa walk in, wearing a t-shirt dress that definitely leaned towards a casual ensemble for a day with friends than an outfit to catch a boy’s attention, they cautiously glanced at Takeshi to see his perception on Risa’s uncharacteristic fashion choice.

The boy was too ecstatic at her company that he was blind to her obvious message about how she truly felt about this.

Was this a success? Or a failure? They couldn’t tell.

“So,” Risa began. “what’s the plan?”

…

Risa insisted on starting with Whisper of the Heart.

Satoshi expected it have that whimsical fantasy that permeated the films he watched the evening before, but it didn’t. It had the whimsy, for sure, but he couldn’t connect with the realism of the film. So, while Risa, Daisuke, and Takeshi waxed poetic about the youthful vigor in the couple’s ending, the sentiment was lost on him, and he dismissed himself on the kitchen to “grab a snack” while the trio argued over what to watch next.

He stood next to Inspector Saehara who sat at the table that allowed for prime viewing of his son’s adolescence. He had a laptop in front of him, with Mama Saehara on the screen, and Satoshi waved to her. She didn’t notice since she seemed preoccupied with something else on her end.

“I didn’t realize you were in a call with her.”

“She’s just here to get real-time updates on Takeshi crushing over the Harada kid. We’re not actually having a conversation.”

“Because of what happened yesterday?”

“What do you mean what—” Inspector Saehara didn’t finish his sentence. He just began to laugh. “Oh, that? That’s nothing.”

“Nothing? But…”

“It happens all the time. Me an’ Ma are always arguin’ over somethin’. It happens with those yer close to, yanno?”

No, Satoshi didn’t know. The bemused expression on his face said everything, and Inspector Saehara guffawed.

“It’ll happen one day whether you’ll like it or not. Just don’t hate us when it happens, alright?”

Takeshi came in. “Bro, we’re starting My Neighbor Totoro! Hurry up!”

Satoshi nodded, following Takeshi back to the living room without any resolution to his conversation with Inspector Saehara.

He sat down in the recliner, distant from the trio on the couch. Risa was wedged between Daisuke and Takeshi, dangerously close to crossing the threshold of Daisuke’s personal space. The former was dangerously close to rolling off the couch over the armrest; the latter was dangerously close to crossing the threshold of Risa’s personal space. As an outsider looking in, the teens spelled out their emotions so plainly that it only hurt to watch.

Satoshi envied them. Of that innocence that allowed them to feel the emotions that come and go. To allow themselves to get caught up in a tempest of their feelings without worrying about how far-reaching the consequences would be.

The chipper tune of the movie’s opening brough his attention back to the TV. And while those on the couch sung along, he just nodded to the beat, unable to fight the smile threatening his face.

…

After the movie ended, to everyone’s dismay, Satoshi ducked into the restroom. When he returned to the living room, only Risa was there, lying down on the couch as she busied herself with her phone.

Clearly, this situation was in violation of Rule Number 2 of the sleepover code, but it seemed like there was nothing he could do to amend the broken rule.

“Where’d they go?” Satoshi cautiously asked.

“Daisuke’s parents called him during the movie, so he’s returning their call right now. And Saehara-san and Takeshi-kun stepped out to grab dinner.”

“So, your parents are letting you stay until then?”

“Yup! So we can squeeze in two more movies before I have to head back!”

“Which movies?”

“The Wind Rises and Howl’s Moving Castle.”

“Do they have romance in them?”

Risa winked. “Of course!”

Satoshi rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand your obsession with romance.”

“You don’t have to, but just know that you’re missing out on a fantastic genre.”

Satoshi shook his head, and she just giggled. “Maybe you’ll change your mind when you actually fall in love with someone.”

“I highly doubt that.”

“I wouldn’t end your sentence so quickly,” she sang.

“Perhaps, but I still think you’re slightly delusional.”

“But who isn’t slightly delusional when it comes to love?”

Satoshi wondered what possessed her to say that. And, when she met his gaze, he didn’t expect to see that earnest expression on her face. The Risa in front of him was no longer the adolescent girl who lived up the stereotype. This was the Risa trying to expand her horizons, to learn what lay beyond her perception of the world: the Risa that terrified him.

“Do you think I’ve lost it?” she asked in a whisper. “Being hung up over a ghost of a feeling? Of a person I can’t clearly recall in my memories? At the fact that you can’t fill the hole they left not matter how much you tell me about them?”

Satoshi hated this. He hated how easily Risa managed to skirt the edge of his comfort zone. She was precise enough to get her point across yet vague enough that it felt rude for him to strike that boundary. Not without him risking sounding like an asshole.

Not without him allowing her to cross a boundary he wasn’t ready for anyone, let alone her, to cross.

He began to formulate the words in his mind to say that he couldn’t answer that question, that he felt uncomfortable even being in the position of receiving her inquiries. Satoshi had to brace himself for her disappointment at him pulling away, but Daisuke came down before Satoshi followed through with the decision his mind was heading to.

“So, what’re we watching next?” Daisuke asked.

Satoshi nearly wept from the timing.

…

Sunday passed without any more drama. After they finished the movies Risa wanted to watch, she left without much fanfare, and the boys went through as much of the Studio Ghibli filmography as they could before they passed out.

Satoshi, however, woke up that Monday morning in a cold sweat with a splitting headache. So, while Takeshi and Daisuke left to pick up Grandpa Daiki from the train station, Satoshi floated in and out of consciousness while a familiar, winged Phantom Thief haunted his dreams.

#dnangel #d.n.angel #d.n. angel #dn angel #satoshi hiwatari #risa harada #takeshi saehara #daisuke niwa #my fanfiction #my writing #falling #we die like men without betas

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