Audio Tour, Excerpt & Giveaway: Falling For Raine by Lane Hayes

Audio Tour, Excerpt & Giveaway: Falling For Raine By Lane Hayes Narrated by Joel Leslie The gentleman, the hot mess, and a little British adventure… Raine Moving to London is scary and daunting, but I desperately need this job–and a redo. Okay, so I may have oversold my qualifications. That shouldn’t be a big deal, though. I mean, being an assistant’s assistant seems easy enough, and I’m a fast…

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Book Review: Jay's Gay Agenda

Book Review: Jay's Gay Agenda #bookreviews #lgbtq+ #loveislove

I read this book as a buddy read with my friend Hilary from the booktube channel Melted Books. We both had been wanting to get to it for a while. This one was called Jay’s Gay Agenda by Jason June. Synopsis: There’s one thing Jay Collier knows for sure—he’s a statistical anomaly as the only out gay kid in his small rural Washington town. While all this friends can’t stop talking about their…

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For Richer, For Deader Blog Blitz

For Richer, For Deader Blog Blitz Lady Bea and Perry need to save a society wedding from murder and sabotage! @rararesources #BlogBlitz #CozyMystery #PartOfASeries #BookReview

For Richer, For Deader by Helen Golden November 20th 2022   Book Blurb: Is the Wedding Between TV’s Sir Hewitt Willoughby-Franklin’s Step-Daughter and Billionaire’s Son Off? Rumours are that the recent death of Kelley Lindsell (29), the personal chef of tycoon Rudy (68) and Sheri Trotman (65) at Sir Hewitt’s Fawstead Manor country estate in Fenshire, has spooked Sybil Bransgrove (36) so badly…

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If This Gets Out Review

If This Gets Out by Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich

CW: Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Enabling, Neglect, Homophobia, Manipulation, Controlling Legal Contracts, Racism, Infantilization, Forced Closeting, Abusive Parents, Capitalism, Sex Descriptions, Serious Injury, Claustrophobia, Gaslighting, Microaggressions, Emotional Abuse

5/5

I may not be obsessed with any real boy bands, but I am obsessed with a fictional one! Sophie Gonzales and Cale Dietrich co-wrote an amazing story, backstory, and band of boys. At its heart, If This Gets Out is a love story, but it's much more than that. This story is about every member of the band, boy bands in general, and the dark side of the music industry. It was a well researched piece that benefited from careful arrangement. I am admittedly a sucker for the musicians-on-tour romance trope, but I find that Gonzales and Dietrich set the bar higher.

On tour for their third album, Ruben, Zach, Angel, and Jon head to Europe for the first time. Although they've all been friends for years, Ruben has started to have forbidden feelings for Zach. He knows Zach is straight, and he knows he's not allowed to come out, so he keeps it to himself. Being further from home, all four are starting to feel the limitations of their contracts more so than in the United States. Angel feels locked into his "image" and is finding any escape he can. Jon recognizes he's the only one looking out for his band mates. When Zach realizes he is bisexual, both he and Ruben start to feel the worst parts of being forced to stay in the closet.

This book deals with very serious subjects. While it balances them with hope, love, and humor, it never romanticizes working for the music industry nor does it shy away from portraying these subjects realistically. Among other topics, If This Gets Out deals with overbearing and manipulative contracts, drug addiction, and homophobia as it looks today. The plot arcs that these appear in do get resolved, but they also have loose threads. Gonzales and Dietrich did this intentionally. The loose threads are there because the real-world musicians that inspired the book have lingering issues after their pivotal resolutions. Being a popular musician can be rewarding, but it can also ruin one's life. People that start their music careers as kids are even more vulnerable.

In addition to being well researched, this book was well written. It's always interesting to see how a pair of authors will approach writing a book together. Gonzales and Dietrich each wrote their character's P.O.V. chapters (Ruben and Zach, respectively) and then went back to edit the dialogue of those characters that the other had written*. It was seamless throughout, as though just one author had written the book. Between the two of them, they were able to keep a good pace throughout the book, write realistic dialogue, and craft a mesmerizing love story.

There is much more I could say about If This Gets Out, but I don't want to spoil anything for anyone. Perhaps we'll eventually get a movie adaption, as then I would have a lot more people to discuss it with. In the meantime, if you're looking for a queer boy band love story with meaningful plot-lines and racial diversity, please check out Gonzales and Dietrich's book! It will be worth it!

Queer TV

This is a strange time to be writing an editorial on queer representation. While the past year has seen an incredible uptick in queer stories being told with humor and heart on the small screen, 2022 has seen a record high of 238 proposed anti-LGBTQIA+ bills in the US—nearly half of them targeting trans folks. Representation is important, though, and demand for more queer stories is growing (and, to some degree, being met), with a lot of good books and comics making it to our screens. With that in mind, think of this as your selective chronological tour of all the times we won in the TV landscape of the last year (October 2021–October 2022).

Our dataset year started off with the much-awaited adaptation of Robert Jordan’s fantasy epic, Wheel of Time. With such extensive source material (15 books if you count the prequel, which is where the seeds of the sapphic storyline in Rafe Judkins’ adaptation are to be found), the viewership, generally speaking, was divided into book fans and show-only fans, and both camps shitposted and meme’d and reviewed with abandon. 

The biggest queer-centric show we saw in the last year was the adaptation of @aliceoseman’s comic Heartstopper (@heartstoppercomic). Co-created by Alice Oseman themself, this adaptation was very sensitive to the much-loved source material. And, being native to Tumblr, these characters were bound to be welcomed with open arms when they hit the screen in an ebullient explosion of queer joy. 

A run-down of the past year would be incomplete without the incredible queerdos of the Revenge who swashbuckled their way into our hearts. We’re referring, of course, to Our Flag Means Death’s Gentleman Pirate and his merry band of (living-wage-paid, no less!) shipmates. Your favorites included genderqueer Jim ‘not-a-fucking-mermaid’ Jimenez and Oluwande, Lucius Sprigg and Black Peter, Frenchie who just hates cats, and The Swede, who keeps his heart but loses his teeth. Then, of course, we have Blackbeard himself, or simply Ed, who is struggling with his identity (villain or softboi).

Based on the story by @veschwab and produced by @belletristbooks, First Kill was another adaptation that fans of vampire stories got very excited about. Add to that the fact that this was very much a sapphic enemies-to-lovers scenario between hunter Calliope and young vampire Juliette, and the pre-show excitement was palpable. The post-season disappointment even more so as fans turned to their dashes to vent about the lack of good lesbian and wlw representation in 2022’s TV landscape.

Where the cancelation of First Kill left us reeling, the Rockford Peaches from A League of Our Own came in clutch and soothed our sapphic souls. You love the show which you affectionately shortened, in good old Tumblr fashion, to a silly little acronym: aloto. Whether you’re in it for the gal pal aesthetics, the butch energy, or Uncle Bert, or some good old fashioned baller drama, there truly was something for all of your wlw whimsies here. Let’s go, Peaches!

@neilgaiman’s The Sandman series finally came out to much acclaim, and came out so gay that armchair reviewers of the homophobic sort really struggled to wrap their minds around quite how gay it is. We got pansexual serial killing Corinthian! Pansexual, demon-hunting, women-kissing Johanna Constantine! Some very loaded moments between Morpheus and Hob Gadlin! This is what dreams are made of (sort of)!

This whole list would be nothing, nada, a crumb of zilch whizzing around a black hole, if it weren’t for the writers who created many of these stories in the first place. So thank you to them. And to you, Tumblr, for celebrating the good and standing up for each other through another year. Here’s to a kinder 2023. 

I have very correct and cool thoughts on a YouTuber au that won’t leave my head so here they are:

Kitty is the first to start a channel. She’s grown up watching youtube and thinks it’s just wonderful, so she wants in. She starts just doing vlog stuff but eventually moves on to reviewing books which really gets popular. She’s this very happy chirpy girl who favours romance and erotica, who occasionally turns up out of the blue with a fucking like, Thomas Hardy novel, and will come out with random and poignant takes on what she’s reading. The people love her, as they should,

In my au, they’re (nearly) all friends to begin with, so once Kitty starts doing well, she tries to encourage Pat to get involved (she just really thinks he has the personality for it, and it'd be something to distract him from the divorce). He has four separate channels (he likes to keep things organised of course), one that’s more for Daley than anything, just short simple videos going through things he’ll need to learn growing up like how to fix a lightbulb, a flat tire, how to cook a few simple meals etc. He has a 'vlog' channel (it's a bird-watching diary, it is just videos of all the cool birds he's seen). His most popular, the club room (or something in that vein), is just him and his weird group of friends meeting up to fuck around for half an hour and talk about shows, movies, music and clothes they like and dislike for 20mins or so. Finally, he has a channel just for him to talk about those things in more detail.

Robin's channel is all about space, space facts, sci-fi etc. He will also sometimes do drunken videos where he debunks people's dumb conspiracies, and as he has an interest in prehistoric history, will film himself going to prehistoric sites and giving some commentary.

The Captain is a university professor who's infamous on his campus for going off on long rants during his lectures. He keeps getting complaints and Kitty casually suggests he starts a channel and rants there instead. He reluctantly gives in. He gets popular of course, and goes on from ranting about just about history/historians to everything. 

People can't work out if he's gay or just a very determined ally until like, five years down the line when his fiance Pat walks in during a charity livestream to give him a cuppa.

Mary wouldn't have a channel but would be the cameraman/editor for some of the gang, Fanny wouldn't have a channel either, nor Humphrey (who's always running late and rarely makes it to the club sessions in time, but in return shows up on Kitty’s channel a fair bit to talk books). 

Disgraced former MP Julian Fawcett would absolutely not be allowed to have a channel or appear on anyone's channel. He has to sit behind the camera at every club meeting and talk quietly, much to his chagrin. 

Now, Alison and Mike. Either Mike would have a series of abandoned channels, or it'd be the ghost thing. I made a post a year or two back about them having a ghost hunter channel where they go around supposedly haunted places to see if they’re actually haunted with Alison being the annoyed ghost seer and Mike the enthusiastic believer, and yeah. I think it'd be kinda funny if this was just, casually something they both did, that in this otherwise normal world ghosts are canonically real, and that the Coopers bumped into the others while on a tour of an ‘abandoned haunted house’ that is actually just the manor that Pat and the others film their ghost meetings in.

X2: A Movie Review

This has been a good year for everybody's favorite mutants so far.

So far, we are halfway through X-Men 97, a sensational return for the original X-Men cartoon, picking up where it left off and blowing away expectations. Meanwhile, we are still three months away from the release of Deadpool & Wolverine, which will feature the return of Hugh Jackman as Wolverine and possibly other surprises from the X-Men films released back in the 2000s, among other Marvel films from then.

With the success of X-Men 97 and the upcoming release of Deadpool & Wolverine, it makes sense to look back and celebrate the X-Men films to come beforehand. At the time of this writing, I have rewatched the X-Men (2000) and X2 only. X-Men: The Last Stand has not been reviewed yet, and X-Men (2000) was good, but X2 is the topic of discussion here, as it's not only better than its predecessor but one of the great comic book films to grace screens.

The last time I watched either X-Men film may have been as a kid during the 2000s. The rewatch all these years later proved how stellar X2 was, buried under the wave of Marvel films to follow throughout the 00s, 10s, and today. If you don't know or have forgotten, X2 introduces its main antagonist, Stryker, played by the brilliant Brian Cox; a man who threatens the existence of mutants with the proposed mutant registration act. After launching a full-front assault on Professor Xavier's school and after Magneto breaks out of prison, the X-Men, Xavier, and Magneto must band together to face a common enemy that threatens their very existence.

From the opening scene of Nightcrawler fighting his way through the White House to make it to the president, the film establishes more clearly than its first one how it has the sauce. Nightcrawler poofing his way throughout the halls and dispatching the guards one by one with opera music in the background is one of the best openings to a CBM. Overall, the action scenes here are a vast improvement over the first one, whether it's the opening scene, the raid on Xavier's school, or Wolverine vs Lady Deathstrike. While the first film's fight scenes were decent, the choreography harbors more dynamic action that contributes to an overall more enjoyable time.

The character work here varies across characters and performances. Ian McKellen has one of the best performances once again. While his role as the antagonist in the previous film was great, his partnership with Xavier, Wolverine, and others forces a compelling dynamic. Magnus breaking out of prison using the iron in a guard's blood was badass. Then, to see him forced to work with his enemies provided entertainment beyond belief. From there, unfortunately, it's a bit of a mixed bag from the other actors and actresses and their characters.

Hugh Jackman's Wolverine is iconic for good reason. He brought gravitas and an aura of savagery that was always entertaining to witness, whether here or in virtually any other film the character appeared in, especially in Logan. Patrick Stewart's Charles Xavier is a tour de force in his own right as well, but it's the other members of the X-Men that bring apprehension. While I enjoy James Marsden as an actor, he brought nothing to the table as Cyclops, and reminded me why others for years have hated the Scott Summers character; Coinciding with his performance, Famke Janssen as Jean Grey isn't given many intriguing things to do. It's a bit infuriating when juxtaposed with the performances and stories told in X-Men 97. The X-Men and X2 spend too much time on a love triangle where only one-third of the people involved are engaging to watch on-screen. (Although if X-Men 97 focuses more on the love triangle after the time of this writing, this may age poorly, lmao.)

I liked Shawn Ashmore as Iceman and the scene of him coming out as a mutant to his parents. A decent allegory for a teen coming out as gay to their parents, and I think the scene, as well as Iceman/Bobby Drake in general, work well for the movie. Aaron Stanford's Pyro was also a fun slow-burn, watching him turn heel towards the end of the film. I'm really excited to see him return in Deadpool & Wolverine. Others like Rogue, Beast, Mystique, and Lady Deathstrike, to name a few, I would've liked to have more screen time to grasp these performances and their character moments better. Overall, X2 could've utilized some characters better, but some of the characters get so right and attributed to one of the quintessential 2000s CBM movies out there. There are a handful of iconic scenes to witness or reacquaint with in the first two acts. The third act may waver a little bit, but this is still a great film that warrants a rewatch to appreciate the X-Men further. 4/5.

Alright so I saw Wish a while ago and here's some controversial takes.

I enjoyed it. I really enjoyed it. Hell. 8/10. I enjoyed it that much. Here's my thoughts. Under spoilers because you will get mad, especially if you define yourself by 90s and current Disney movies.

Unless you know me really well. Then you saw this coming. And I already told you.

May there be no more twist villains or WOE IS ME! I AM GOOD INSIDE HONEST! Rebecca Sugar effect villains.

Evil is lime baby!

Happy divorce! GIRL YOU DESERVE IT! When was the last time we had a nice divorce like this? Parent Trap was a sad, miserable divorce. But when did we show that divorce was a GOOD thing in some cases? Only respect for my queen.

We been knew Sleepy was a snitch.

Disability rep at long last that isn't evil or eldery AND she impacts the plot.

Dahlia is my favorite and I love her.

Dahlia has her predecessor's anxiety and public speaking problem and I could cry so much cause that's an easter egg only I know and none of you will appreciate. So there.

Golden and silver age references as opposed to the Renaissance. Chef's kiss. There's a lot of Disney out there. Seeing even the Xerox era get respect was wonderful. Renaissance? Take a backseat, please. You already get favoritism as it is. You get so much merch so seeing a few extra things just for us fans? Yeah. Yeah it feels nice to be appreciated JUST ONCE cause we never will be EVER AGAIN after this.

If you call Asha adorkable for saying her face hurts/feels like it's stuck after working a tour guide job, I'm personally coming for you. As a former tour guide. Cause I have done this after EVERY SINGLE SHIFT. Because you're an asshole. Yes I said it. I'm not adorkable for smiling so hard my muscles went numb. But I am pissed at you for being a prick. And that's what you are. A prick.

This movie suffers from 'the straights are not okay' because they keep shipping Asha with any white man (emphasis on man) they can find, including her grandpa in Star form because he looked like Jack Frost in a earlier phase. Dude it was her grandpa and no I don't want your fanart even though "BUT IT LOOKED PRETTY!" But I know the only reason he has icy blond locks is because it's her grandpa AND IT EVEN HAS SIMILAR FACIAL FEATURES TO ASHA. GROSS MY DUDE. Yeah sorry if you feel personally attacked but no, this really wigs me out. Sorry if that upsets you but I KNOW THIS AND I HAVE THE ART BOOK. Says ASHA'S GRANDPA, SABINO, before we decided he should be alive and impact the plot himself! And... YEAH. Yeah, there.

You could literally ship her all cute with ANY of her friends but you go for the old white men in her life, kinda weird but OKAY THEN!

The movie needed ten or twenty more minutes more so I could chill with The Seven or Amaya. I just wanted more. That's me though.

Bazeema. Bazeema could hide bodies. Let her.

Harvey Guillen voicing Gabo is proof that Disney knows we gay coded Grumpy and they're in silent agreement but won't do much right now other than giggle with us so... thank you, Wish, for being immature with the fandom right now. The Snow White fandom thanks you.

Music was great. No subpar show stoppers that make me go THANKS FOR THE FIVE MINUTE WAIT TO RESTATE EVERYTHING I ALREADY KNOW ELSA.

The music fits together nicely. It's a soundtrack I can listen to without skipping anything because my brain isn't thrown out of whack. Everything segues nicely. I don't hate anything. I like it all.

For example, I feel this way about the Coco soundtrack. While I dislike the contemporary version of Remember Me, I can leave on the entire soundtrack and do anything. There's nothing bad about it. It's great. I sing along or I just vibe during instrumental pieces. I can do this for Snow White, Pinocchio, and Mary Poppins. I cannot do this for many other soundtracks. CONSIDER THIS A VERY HIGH HONOR FROM ME.

No, people just went in with shitty mindsets before reviewing and I'm actually looking for a good negative review because I'd probably agree with them cause different strokes for different folks. Cause no seriously someone said Cruella had more depth than Magnifico. And I love Cruella but... friendo. She's not that deep, she really isn't. I wanna sit that person down and just ask them how deep "old friend from college envies your dog's sparkly coat and steals them cause fashion". She's not that deep, truly. Glenn Close did spectacular but SHE'S ABOUT AS DEEP AS A PUDDLE. And if you mean that Emma Stone movie, no you don't. That movie doesn't exist. Cruella doesn't have some life long grudge against dalmatians because that's stupid and why would you ever write something as stupid as that? Because you wouldn't and it was a collective bad dream we all had. tl;dr I really enjoyed Wish and it makes me realize how much bad writing exists not just in animation but in Hollywood in general and maybe we stop finding some of these things acceptable from now on.

We Are The Champions by Tuono Pettinato and Dario Moccia

Oh boi this will be more of a rant than a review I feel. I read two books by Tuono Pettinato, One is a graphic biography on Alan Turing, which I reviewed here last year, I think? and the other one is a graphic biography about Kurt Cobain (which I haven't read in ages but I remember really loving back in the day). So when I found out about a graphic biography about Freddie Mercury, one of my heros since I was a kid with a father obsessed with Queen, I had to have it. This book has been on my wishlist for ages, and now that I spent money on it and actually read it I wish it was still on my wishlist. I am very mad at this book and so my review is not going to be impartial at all. I don't like comparing books with one another but it's inevitable, the other books by this illustrator felt honest and emotional, and this one just fell flat. There was absolutely no emotion ever. The authors decided to use a lot of self insert scenes of them explaining stuff which in my opinion was unnecessary and broked a lot of the narration, but that's a personal preference. As for the story it feels like these two men just collected in a book all the infos band fans get randomly in their lives of fans of whatever band they are passionate about. There is no bibliography at the back of the book, which makes me think this was the case actually? From whatever kid of biography I expect a bibliography and some kind of actual research to be made. The major thing that has made me very mad is the fact that they speak of Freddie as a gay man instead of the bisexual man he was. And this enrages me personally because for years I thought Freddie was gay, since everyone around me said that, and only a lot time after I found out my hero was actually bisexual, just like me, and that changed a lot of things. A book published in 2016 should have payed attenton to such a detail. And on the queer topics all songs that have a very queer message are glossed over as songs with totally different meaning (no mention of Bohemian Rapsody being a sort of coming to terms with your sexiality and coming out, Bicycle is said to only be inspired by the tour de France, and I Want To Break Free is just about frustrated houswives apparently). I fully understand that if you are not queer you might miss some of the subtext of songs, but if you are writing a biography about someone you might want to do some deeper research into it. With this being said it was a disappointing book, my expectations weren't met and there's not much else to say about it.

The Science of Attraction: A Mackenzie Country Story by Jay Hogan: Book Excerpt and New Release Review

The Science of Attraction: A Mackenzie Country Story by @JayHoganAuthor: #BookExcerpt, #NewRelease #BookReview #gay #lgbtq #mmromance #gayromance #contemporary #4.5stars cc: @elizaraeservices

I am Mackenzie Country born and bred. Farming the high country runs in my blood, like my father, and his father, and my great grandfather before him. My future has been mapped out for me since the day I was born. Or at least it was, until Liam Skelton walks onto Lane Station, lights a fire in my heart, and turns my whole world upside down. Bossy, tatted, and out and proud, Liam is everything my…

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Well now that Speak Now Week is officially over I wanted to put all the Episodes in one place for y'all to check out!

Breaking My Silence... - Cara joins me to finally spill our John Mayer tea and we follow up on the recent Toe tea I got.

Houghlor Tea Party - Naudia joins me to break down the gossip I got about Julianne Hough and Taylor along with a review of their timeline and songs that may tie back to Julianne.

The only thing that matters is food - Cara joins me to rank purple snacks and have a fun chat about food.

Speak Now Tour Review - Gabbie joins me for an in-depth breakdown of the Speak Now Tour.

The Dear John Manifesto - Torry of Ready to be Petty joins me to deep dive Jessica Simpson's book, especially the John Mayer bits.

One Last Episode!!! - Shannon of Fluently Forward joins me to discuss Karlie allegedly Kaylor Baiting, the Matty Healy news of the moment, and other current Taylor and Gaylor topics du jour! (Yes I think when we played Ivy was GAY!)

Speak Now Taylor's Version First Thoughts - Cara joins me to discuss Speak Now TV! We talk about the easter eggs (1989 clues all over the place!) we saw in the new Music Video, our reactions to the vault tracks, give some gay rankings to the new songs, and try to discern the muses!

All in all, it was a wild week and SO MUCH FUN. I'm already chomping at the bit for 1989 week it is truly going to be unhinged. Thanks to everyone who listened, and participated with comments, questions, and anons and just a huge general thank you to you guys for making this the amazing niche fun kooky gay little community that it is!

mp review: general non spoilery thoughts under the cut and then a separated spoilery bit afterwards if you’d like to skip it

so when i first got to the event i was like oh no it’s just harry stans here because there was a lot of merch fjfj but i got into my auditorium seat early and watched ppl filing in and i was actually pleasantly surprised at the diversity in age?? there were quite a lot of older ppl there and a significant amount of older gay couples which was so nice to see.

before the film started michael came out and spoke a little bit. he thanked some ppl in the audience (bethan etc) and mentioned harry being on tour thus not here (there were a few quiet whoops for harry lol) and then he introduced the rest of the cast and crew on stage. david and emma both got HUGE cheers :) there were just like 2 questions from the presenter and then the film started.

okay the film itself.

i loved it 🥺 it felt very.. intimate is how i would describe it. it felt like a very intimate and magnified look at a small story. idk if that makes sense. but other than the budget for venice it felt v indie and contained in a nice way. you could see that michael’s vision was on the small moments and the intricacies of the relationships rather than this huge grand story or political statement. it’s always difficult ofc to adapt a book and especially one that jumps timelines but i do think it was done successfully. my only complaint there was that i wish it was longer and that certain scenes were fleshed out more than they were in the novel. i also don’t really understand the barrage of negative reviews it’s had.. maybe they were expecting a huge blockbuster bc harry’s name was attached? and were surprised when it wasn’t? idk but i definitely wouldn’t describe it as dull in fact it was delicate and affecting 🥺

unfortunately there were a lot of laughs :// again at scenes that are only funny because it was harry. it was very grating bc the audiences reaction is what took me out of those scenes, not the film :/ there were no laughs at the sex scenes though thank godddd. just at lines here or there and mostly contained to one area in the auditorium.

i’m terms of the performances i can understand why it was being praised as a successful ensemble because everyone was truly wonderful. there were no weak links and harry held his own even with so little experience. michael’s comment on harry being “honest and innocent” in his performance makes a lot of sense once you’ve seen it. he’s no oscar winner yet but he has soo much potential i feel v proud of him.

in general it’s a beautiful and delicate film that will 100% start conversations (i heard debates erupt immediately once the credits rolled lol) but again it can only be authentically enjoyed if you put Harry Styles out of your mind and just watch. it also really hit me while watching, what project harry had pursued here.. it was very brave of him and i hope that much can be appreciated no matter what your personal opinion of the film is.

* SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS *

okay a few thoughts!! the second half of the film was better than the first imo. much like the book! once patrick is properly in it basically.

the tom and marion scenes were appropriately awkward and the tom and patrick scenes felt.. charged and heavy. the contrast felt v clear to me.

the sex scenes were shot so ridiculously beautifully. not awkward at all not too much just passionate and stunning. i completely get the conversations around it now. their chemistry was great. i particularly loved the little scene of patrick inviting tom to venice and kissing his shoulder from behind 😭 so cute.

julia!!!!! my lesbian girlie got her screen time!! the audience gasped at her reveal lol.

i wish venice was longer :( but the naked scene was cute and again is there to contrast that cold and passionless environment he has with marion. cinema !

i loved the older cast. they were great and linus in particular was almost freakishly good at an older harry. even his walk 😵‍💫

that final scene BROKE me. i liked how the 1950s scenes felt almost like memories for the 1990s characters and the way it would bleed into their present day but oh god that final scene with tom and patrick. i was in bits. what a lovely divergence from the book ending.

oh and the soundtrack was gorgeous.

It’s been a very busy couple of days but I finally have time to sit down and write about this. Went to Montreal a couple of nights ago for the Just For Laughs Festival. Absolutely amazing night, from start to finish. Well, maybe not from the very start. I really like the Old Montreal neighbourhood so I went there beforehand, and found that I like it a lot less when it’s full of JFL-related crowds.

So I gave up on that, went to the festival. Walked around the festival itself for a bit. The outdoor festival area is full of big screens and big crowds and loud music and had several outdoor stages where I heard bits and pieces of various people making various bad jokes. Maybe a little big cool, I guess, in a very small dose, if you like that sort of thing.

Luckily, the venue where I was seeing comedy was inside, and much smaller. Well, it was a very large arts complex with a lot going on it, multiple theatre rooms as well as a bunch of other stuff, but the room where I was was the smallest one. Capacity 128, but for both shows, all the seats in a whole third of the room didn’t get used. I’d estimate there were about 60 people in each show, maybe a few more in the first one than in the second one. I saw Nish Kumar last year in that same room, small room but I’m pretty sure it sold out (I didn’t notice any empty seats, anyway, there could have been one or two), and the felt like a very small and intimate performance. So this was even more so, same room but a crowd about two thirds of the size.

When I first walked in and saw the crowd size, half of me was thinking, “What the hell? Tom Ballard is a very successful Australian comedian, he has two officially released stand-up specials and a book and he hosted a topical comedy TV show for a couple of years. He’s an internationally touring comedian. How the hell has he traveled all this way to be here, and only about 60 people (plus whoever came to his show the previous night, he did two in total) have turned up to see him? What is everyone doing, missing out on this?” The other half of me was thinking, “He’s well known in Australia. He hosted a TV show in Australia. Who are all these people who live near Montreal yet know enough about Tom Ballard to have paid a bunch of money and come out to see him? Why are there so many of them?”

Then Tom Ballard came out, and… well, they don’t call him the white gay Australian Nish Kumar for nothing. I mean, they don’t call him that, I do, but I don’t do it for nothing. The two times I’ve seen Nish Kumar live, he started shouting at the audience from the moment he came out and did not calm down until it was over (oh yeah, Nish Kumar’s special gets released tomorrow, it’s his 2022 show, the one I saw twice last year, it’s fucking incredible, I’m going to make everyone watch it). Tom Ballard did something similar. Maybe there was slightly more variation in the intensity levels. At one point he took a bit of a break from shouting about the world ending to talk about his sex life, and I’ve never seen Nish Kumar do that, not even in his early stuff from before he went so political.

It was pretty much what I expected, based on the reviews and on who Tom Ballard is, but what I expected it to be based on that was very good. Got the personal stuff out of the way early – he gained weight during lockdown, he’s got a boyfriend now, he used to hook up with weird people. Then got back to what we came for, which was shouting about the end of the world and talking shit about the monarchy. I realize neither of those things are new in comedy, and he realizes it too, at one point comments that he knows it isn’t particularly edgy to say “Fuck the queen” in a world where all reasonable people think the royal family can go fuck themselves, but on the other hand, if this opinion is so commonplace and repetitive, why are they still there? And he’s got a point. It’s hard to call anti-monarchy material tired and overdone when you look at scale of the pro-royalist queen death coverage and the coronation coverage that have happened in the last year.

And it’s not even that overdone among comedians. Every once in a while during the Tom Ballard show, I was struck by how much his voice sometimes sounds like Adam Hills’, because they both have the Australian accent, but they also both do the Australian vocal fry thing where the pitch goes up at the end of sentences. So it felt a little bit like being shouted at by Adam Hills, except that you won’t hear “fuck the dead queen” from Adam Hills.

This show does make me want to formally apologize to Tom Ballard for that post I wrote before I listened to the post-coronation Bugle episode, when Tom Ballard and Mark Steel were the guests, and I said Mark Steel is going to be the star of this show, he’s been waiting his whole career for this much royalist bullshit to get righteously furious about. Listening to the actual episode reminded me that Tom Ballard should never be counted out in a competition of “Who can talk the most shit about the British monarchy”, and this stand-up show makes me realize I definitely should have known that all along.

This show did do the sort of thing that I thought made Nish Kumar’s 2022 show (Your Power Your Control, released on August 1, 2023, everyone in the world needs to watch it) work so well, which is to tie his larger political points around something personal. In this case, Tom Ballard got the main political themes around the story of his grandmother who lived in a care home. I had just visited my grandparents’ in their care home the other day, and might have laughed too hard at some of his impressions of what it’s like in those places.

I really, really enjoyed it. I don’t know if it’s for everyone – I mean, obviously it’s not for royalists or climate deniers or those who hate the elderly, I guess – but it may even be not for people who agree with him but just aren’t into shouty comedy. If you like that sort of thing, though, this is a very, very good example of it. And I really like this sort of thing. I’ve seen his two previous specials, and I enjoyed them, but this is by far the best Tom Ballard stand-up show I’ve seen.

Actually, that came up during the show. At one point he mentioned that he’d released a stand-up special on Paramount Plus in 2022 (it’s called Enough, it’s not as good as this one but it’s still really enjoyable and I recommend it), but no one watched it because no one in the world subscribes to Paramount Plus. To prove this, he asked the audience who in there has seen that special. I said that I did, assuming my voice would be drowned out among the other people speaking up. But it turned out my voice carried through the room, because I was the only person who answered. He made some jokes about how it’s proof that Paramount Plus is obscure because of a whole crowd of people who’ve paid to see him, only one person has seen the special (to be honest, I don't have Paramount Plus either, there are ways to find comedy specials that don't involve subscribing to steaming platforms, that's a good thing for everyone who doesn't have Sky TV to remember when Nish Kumar's special is released on there tomorrow). The he looked at me, said thank you for watching it, and asked me what I’d thought of it. I said I thought it was very good, and he said that’s the kind of crowd interaction he wants, and then the whole room applauded.

Oh yeah, it’s relevant to know that right before that, a guy had been heckling annoyingly. Tom Ballard had humoured him at first but was becoming less forgiving of him by this point, the audience was getting really annoyed with him too. So Tom Ballard’s point was that I’d shown a good example of how an audience member should behave, by giving him a quick two-word answer when I was addressed and then shutting up, in contrast to the guy who kept talking for too long. And then the whole audience applauded me for not being an obnoxious heckler (later in the show, the guy who’d been heckling got kicked out of the room). So that was fun. This is the same room where Nish Kumar briefly addressed me at this same festival last year, when my reaction to one of his jokes made him laugh (have you ever made Nish Kumar laugh? Nish Kumar? The guy who has that fucking laugh? Like making an angel fly), and he asked me a question about it. So the smallest theatre in Montreal’s Place Des Arts is now where I’ve been personally addressed by both Nish Kumar and by White Gay Australian Nish Kumar.

The show ended, and they cleared the room. Tom Ballard went from 7:30 to about 8:40, so at 8:40 I walked out of the room and straight into the back of the line that had already formed for the next show. When they let us back into the same room, I got almost the same seat (front row, but there are only four rows in total, this is not a large room). Josie Long’s show started at 9 PM.

God, it was good. Really fucking good. I came out of that night thinking both shows were incredible (I definitely made the right choice with where to spend my limited funds on JFL tickets, I can’t imagine there being any shows at the whole festival that I’d have enjoyed more than these two), but Tom Ballard’s might be an acquired taste, and Josie Long’s is just perfect no matter who you are, unless you’re a fucking Tory, I guess. But God, I can’t imagine anyone not enjoying it. I think if you’re a Tory and you see this show, you might just come out a socialist. Just because your options are “turn into a socialist” or “hate this show”, and you can’t hate that show. It’s too perfect.

I’ve heard almost all Josie Long’s old shows in one form or another, multiple versions of a few of them. Starting back at 2006: Kindness and Exuberance, Trying Is Good, All of the Planet’s Wonders, Be Honourable!, The Future Is Another Place, Romance and Adventure, Cara Josephine, Something Better, Tender, Re-Enchantment. The only one I’ve not heard in any form is Something Better. Of the ones before this year, I think my favourite was Cara Josephine, possibly Romance and Adventure. But they were all good. They were different from each other in many ways – from the excitable whimsey of Trying Is Good to the darker stuff in the next few years to the angry political stuff to the optimistic political stuff to the more personal love life and family stuff and back around to the really intense political stuff. All there, in different variations at different times. There’s something to love in all of it.

It felt like all that stuff was packed into Re-Enchantment. The best of everything she can do, all packed into an hour, and all tied to each other, it doesn’t feel like she separated any of it out. The personal and political so deeply intertwined that I can’t tell which bits are meant to be which (well, with some exceptions). And, not to be incredibly cheesy or anything, you can feel how much of this one comes from the heart. Like she was really, really passionate about everything she talked about, like this show didn’t just get written because it was a new year and she needed a new show, like she had all kinds of stuff she couldn’t wait to say to people. Re-Enchantment is my favourite Josie Long show, and there is a lot of competition in that area.

She also did the thing I like in Tom Ballard, talking about larger issues and tying them to something personal. And she did it so well. It helps that the personal things she has to tie it to at the moment are beautiful. Living in Glasgow, which she loves, and raising two small children, which she loves. And finding ways to tie those things to all the political issues that she hates. I think that’s what makes it work so well. That she can hit the worst things in the world, the things that make her (and us) angry and terrified and feel hopeless, but she keeps bringing them back to these things she loves so much, so the show doesn’t feel bleak. It’s dark at times, but she gets on stage, walks through all these dark topics, manages to dig into them and excavate these tiny gleams of light, and then puts her hands out to show us whatever glittering morsels she’s found, and I apologize for drifting into sappy prose but that’s what it feels like to watch a Josie Long show live.

There were no obnoxious hecklers at Josie Long’s show. The crowd was good, and I think knew what they were getting into better than the Tom Ballard crowd had. A couple of times Josie Long translated things for the Canadian audience (year 11/grade ten, explaining who Nicola Sturgeon is), but I’m not sure she needed to, the audience was on board with everything she was doing. At one point she needed to reference a company that does windows, and said she usually used a British company but had been trying to find a company that’s well known in Canada to use instead while over here, but she didn’t know any, and that’s when I realized I don’t think we’ve got any famous window companies. She asked if we knew of any, and the audience seemed like they were genuinely trying to help her out, I think if anyone had thought of one they’d have said so. I guess Canada just isn’t that big on windows.

I’d heard a couple of versions of this show before – she livestreamed a version of it last month from the Glasgow Library, so of course I got in on that. So I did already know it was a good one. But God, it’s different seeing it live. Seeing how good she is at just being on the stage, throwing her voice and her face and her mannerisms and her whole body into everything she’s saying, using all of that to convey everything. Running around the stage at times, engaging with everyone. I can’t imagine anyone’s attention drifting even for a moment.

It’s structured really well, too. Done relatively subtly, I think, some of the callbacks were obvious but some not as much. She put stuff in at the beginning that seemed small and came back, sometimes in little ways and sometimes tied into the whole theme of the show. You get to the end and realize everything was building toward a couple of messages, but it was all so funny along the way that you barely notice while she goes from routine to routine. And by “you” I mean “me”, I guess. That was my experience of the show. It was a very good experience.

The show ended, and I was so full of adrenaline from watching bot of these shows in a row, that I could barely remember to stick to the plan I’d made beforehand, which was to see if I could find Josie Long after the show. I’ve never tried to meet a famous comedian before – or any famous person, for that matter – but I’d decided I wanted to meet Josie Long enough to give it a try. I’d followed some advice and scoped the place out beforehand, to try to work out where the comedians would exit. So after the show, I went outside the building and tried to run around it to see the door where I thought they might be.

While I was looking for that door, I nearly walked into Josie Long on the sidewalk. She was walking with someone and talking to him, and I didn’t want to interrupt her conversation, but also I have one of her old posters on my wall and I’d brought it in a bag with a pen to see if she’d sign it, and I really wanted to meet her. So I hesitantly said “Um… sorry… excuse me?”, and she looked at me, and then said, “You were in my show.” She hadn’t addressed me during her show, the way Nish Kumar and white gay Australian Nish Kumar had. But apparently, she had remembered my face.

I said yes, I was, and sorry to bother her and I won’t take up much time, but I’m a huge fan, and I have something with me, and could she possibly sign it? Then I reached into my bag, and I don’t know what she was expecting me to have in that bag, but from her reaction, as she stood on a sidewalk in Montreal, Canada at 10:20 PM talking to an incoherently excited Canadian she’d never met before, she was not expecting this person to pull out a cardstock printout of a poster for her 2010 and 2011 shows. She definitely sounded surprised to see that.

But she was very, very nice. She signed the poster, asked me my name, wrote a bit on it about how she appreciated me seeing her in Montreal. Honestly, I really was barely coherent. I can hardly remember what I said now. I was stammering as I tried to think of something reasonable to say. I definitely managed to say I love all her old shows but this latest one is one of the best comedy shows I’ve ever seen in my life, which is true. I think I mentioned several times that I love her book. The whole interaction was maybe a minute long. Maybe two minutes? I don’t know, time had stopped.

Then I walked away, and about twenty seconds later, realized I’d forgotten something. So I turned around, saw that she was still there and still talking to that same guy (this was clearly a guy she actually knew, not a random fan who’d accosted her on the street), and when she saw me coming back, she didn’t look surprised. I said “Sorry… I should have asked for this before… could I get a picture…?”

Basically, I was so fucking excited to meet Josie Long that during that first interaction I completely forgot to ask for a picture with her. She looked liked she’d expected me to ask and was surprised when I didn’t, and she was unsurprised when I came back for it. I took out my phone and her friend took it from me, so he could take a picture for us. Josie Long asked me if I minded if she put her arm around me (very cool of her, getting consent before touching a stranger, even a stranger who has made it quite clear she is not averse to contact with Josie Long), and I managed to say “No I don’t mind” rather than “You putting your arm around me would be the coolest thing that’s ever happened to me, actually.”

I look normal, right? I looked like a normal person who's a normal amount of excited be meeting Josie Long and she should definitely not feel creeped out by the intensity of that? Does it make me look even more normal that you can see a bag in my hand, which I held onto through two comedy shows just in the hopes that I might see Josie Long after the show and get her to sign a poster she made ten years ago?

After that, I stopped at Bounstan Shawarma, a place that was recommended by Nish Kumar, actually. During an episode of The Bugle that he did before he came to Just For Laughs last summer, he plugged his shows there, and then said that while he's there, he'll be eating at Bounstan, which is a great shawarma place in Montreal. My own city (two hours from Montreal, I travelled for this) happens to be known for its shawarmas (we have a large Arab population here, there are a lot of shawarma places), I have a few favourites and think of myself as knowing the local shawarma places fairly well. But there's a Bounstan in my city too, and I'd never been there before Nish recommended it. On his recommendation, I ordered some from my local one, while thinking I bet this won't be as good as he says, they probably just don't have as much shawarma in England as we do in my city (honestly, I have a several friends who grew up in Lebanon, where that dish is actually from, who've told me that shawarma from my city is the best in the world, including in the Middle East), so he's not going to be familiar enough with it to know what's good or bad. God, was I ever wrong. He was right, Bounstan is some of the best shawarma I've ever had. Doesn't quite beat my favourite place, but it's become something I order somewhat regularly. After the shows the other night, still buzzing from the excitement of both shows and meeting Josie Long, I stopped at Bounstan (which is right next to the festival, that would be how Nish Kumar knows about it) and got a shawarma. Then I ate it in my parents' car before driving that car two hours home, because I honestly needed to calm down a bit before I could drive. I'm pleased to say I made it home safetly, returned the car I'd borrowed to my parents' place, fell asleep.

The next morning I got up and flew halfway across the country to my grandparents' house, which is why it's taken me two days before I had time to sit down and write this post.

It was one of the best nights of my entire God damn life. Genuinely, if I think about my entire life and what are my favourite days of it, July 29, 2023 is on the list. I don't know exactly where it ranks on the list. Somewhere below the day I won the regional championships in the sport that I'd then been competing in for four years. Below the first time I coached an athlete to a national medal in that same sport. But above quite a few of my favourite live music memories. Above the day I climbed Signal Hill in Newfoundland and spent three hours at the top of it staring at the ocean and then went down the hill and took a road trip through the outport villages and had cod that had been caught two hours before for dinner. It's definitely on the list.

„The whole reason why she became a famous and successful fashion designer was because of the attention she and David got for becoming a couple!“

Don’t forget to mention the Harry StylesTM effect like after their CO H would be able to wear Louis’ brand (and I’m sure he’d wear it nonstop!) and that will cause massive sales because huge amount of fans want to wear what H wears especially when it’s affordable. Fashion magazines will write about them because they will coordinate their outfits and set trends in (male) fashion. Oooor imagine their super sexy gay photoshoot and cover for the V magazine as “1st gay couple cover in V’s history”

And as much as I hate celebrities dropping H’s name in interviews for clout (ok, except Troye because his story with meeting H first time and going straight to the bathroom was just what us girlie girls do when out and about and it was exactly a story I would expect from gay man talking about meeting another gay man haha) we will get stories about them and that would also be super cute.

I just hope I will live to that day when they will come out and we will witness it all.

Here are some asks about Harry and Louis' prospects as a power couple when they come out and the consequences of coming out for their careers. More under the cut.

If Harry and Louis came out together then Louis would benefit from Harry's fame.

So this is what it's all about, Louis using Harry for fame. That's why larries want Louis associated with Harry, because without Harry, Louis is a flop. At least y'all know the truth.

I am sceptical about Harry having a bigger and better career after coming out as gay because it's never happened like that for a male popstar with mainly female fans. Not once.

I think you forget that Harry has fans in all territories and outside northern Europe the world is highly homophobic. I include the US in this. Even the UK has just banned medical transitions for under 25s.

Harry's thirst fandom is vast. They can thirst if he is straight or bi but not if he's gay.

I think being associated with Louis would actually damage Harry's career and make him seem like a joke. Louis isn't taken seriously by anyone except we larries unfortunately and that won't change if he suddenly comes out as gay and with Harry. Harry knows this and he is holding off on coming out until his career is over. That could be when he is in his 70s the way it's going.

Fame and notoriety aren't linked to chart success///

But Louis isn't famous anymore. The last time the UK and US press followed his every move was in 2016 with all the bg nonsense. He never gets papped and only gets articles when he mentions Harry's name. His entire UK tours went unreported on both times, no reviews or pics of Louis. It took something disastrous like the Red Rocks hailstorm for his US tour to get a mention. He's famous by proxy - 1d, Harry. I wish people knew his name in the 2020s but they just don't.

Hi, anons!

I'm going to answer you all together since this is a topic we've covered before.

Harry and Louis are a team. They make decisions together, share a home and share their wealth and their sorrows. Harry's success is shared with Louis and vice versa. Harry wouldn't be where he is right now without Louis and vice versa. They both have their roles to play.

A coming out would benefit both of them. They are something more than the two individuals put together when they're together. The brand deals, the book deals, the film that's going to be made about them and the magazine covers etc. will benefit the both of them. A magazine cover with the both of them on will sell better than a magazine cover with only Harry on.

Like i've said before, before they both come out we need to have a seeding period so people can get used to the idea and get onboard and see how cute and in love they are. If done right they won't lose many fans, but they'll gain a lot. Harry's fans have grown up with him. They're not 8 years old anymore. They won't ditch him and stop buying his albums and go to his tour if he comes out and reveals his relationship with Louis. Harries have heard about larry. Harries have seen Harry on stage in a glittery jumpsuit singing Medicine, waving pride flags and helping fans come out of the closet. He's played a gay closeted man on film. If they're homophobic they would have ditched him a long time ago. They can continue to project onto him even if he's gay. I think we need to also count the new fans he'll get from the lgbtqai+ community and from the attention they'll get from the conspiracy being revealed as true. I think they'll gain more fans than they'll lose. Who wouldn't want to read about the lovestory of Larry Stylinson written from they own pow by themselves. It's dramatic and juicy. A secret love with good guys fighting the bad. The ups and downs. Deaths and weddings. Even antis would buy the book and watch the film and see the documentary.

When it comes to Louis he needs image rehab and a bit more good media exposure. He needs to show he's not homophobic, that he's actually friends with Harry and support him and he needs to change his laddy and macho image and act more himself. I think ending bg will help immensely in creating a better image. He'll gain so much sympathy from the gp. People already have sympathy for him bc of his mom and sister. They'll be thrilled that he's found happiness after all that misfortune. Losing a mother, sister, and now his kid isn't his after all?

To raise his profile a bit, even though he's already well known, they can do what they do to Harry's stunt girls. If he's seen hanging out with H we'll get "Who is Louis Tomlinson" articles. We'll get pap pictures, and Louis being invited to events with H etc. So when they do come out, people will know the both of them. People will love both of them and people will want the best for them. It's going to be more than okay. It will be fabulous.

chayscribbles’ monthly writing update ☆ december 2022

posting this one a little early as i'll be posting my writing year in review post on the 31st!

☆ STATISTICS.

words written: 11 936

projects worked on: Andromeda Rogue; The Gemini Heist (or, The WIP Formerly Known As "Secret Space WIP")

proudest accomplishment: idk i feel like this has been one of my best writing months in a while. i just feel it in my heart of hearts

books read: Discordia by Kristyn Merbeth

☆ GENERAL COMMENTS.

so i've been pretty MIA these past few weeks :/ i just started a new full time job which is quite physical and while i am enjoying it immensely, i'm usually tired at the end of the day to come on writeblr.

BUT somehow i've still been finding time to write! lots of fun things are happening in the chaynematic universe.

i've also been drawing quite a bit too! i'm really challenging myself to draw out of my comfort zone (which really just means drawing backgrounds that are more than a shape or a gradient, welp). currently working on a piece for my new wip which is... taking way longer than i would like 😅

reading comments: Discordia (which is the final book in this space opera trilogy i've been reading over the last few months) was good, not great, and the ending felt a little anticlimatic, but i can understand why it ended the way it did. a solid 4/5 stars because i still had a good time. anyways if you like Chay Stories, i recommend this trilogy! it's far from perfect and a little rough around the edge but it's still fun and enjoyable and hits all the right elements i personally love! (sibling drama in space! funky alien tech! bisexuals, plural!!!!!)

more specific wip-related comments + featured excerpt below.

☆ COMMENTS: ANDROMEDA ROGUE (draft 2)

i tend to work on this one when i don't have the brainpower to think too much, as a lot of it is just polishing or expanding on things that are already written.

i did add some new scenes that i hope will add more meat to the story. one is a phone call Azami witnesses between her father and some other politician, which is meant to add some political backdrop to the conflict between the planets. the other is a scene where Azami tries to run away before being placed on the expedition, but gets caught by her brother Ansel, as i wanted Azami to be more active in trying to shape her fate from the very get-go, and also give her and Ansel more scenes together. i haven't quite finished the latter one yet though because i haven't had the braincells to write any completely new scenes for this wip lately.

i also really reworked an exposition-heavy chapter where Petra gets the rundown of the expedition, and the scene right before they leave when they're given a tour of the ship to make it less clunky, sprinkling description of the ship into the team's actions as they get settled in instead of throwing a big wall of description at you.

so as of now a good chunk of act 1 is already rewritten!

however i do think in the second half of the month the steam for AR (which was all momentum from finishing AR3) has cooled down a bit and my mind has shifted elsewhere. which brings me to my next section...

☆ COMMENTS: THE GEMINI HEIST (outlining / draft... 0.5?)

in case you missed it: i have a new wip !!! (technically it's not new because i've been secretly working on it sporadically since spring, but it's new to most of you.) i'm having a ball writing about these awful gay women doing crime in space!!! i really missed that New WIP High haha. i feel like a kid in a sandbox.

i realized partway through the first act that the way i was writing AR wouldn't work for GH. because it's a heist i'll have to plan thigns more than i did with AR... but having a too-detailed outline feels too restricting. so instead i'm attempting to fast draft this thing so i can get a fuller picture of where i'm going, but still be able to plants this draft which seems to be the way that works best for me. (probably because you can't spell plantsing without plants.)

except that i'm really bad at not getting caught up in details while drafting, especially when writing dialogue-- these guys always end up talking and talking way more than i intend lmao. so i'm calling this more of a draft 0.5, where some parts will be more detailed but others will... not. i've pretty much skipped all description or non-essential worldbuilding. that's a problem for Future Chay.

☆ FEATURED EXCERPT.

this is from gemini heist chapter 4, where Leo is trying to convince Illiana to help them, and Euna and Gabi are... not exactly helping.

Illiana’s chest tightened. She took a deep breath. “How do I even know I can trust you? You’re a criminal, aren’t you? Why wouldn’t you take the money and leave once I’ve given you what you want?”

Leo leaned back in her chair. “I’m an honest criminal, Heir,” she began.

The shorter, chubbier of the two minions spoke for the first time, muttering under her breath, “I’m pretty sure ‘honest criminal’ is an oxymoron, actually.”

The taller, muscular one reached over and gave the short one a little smack on the arm. “I don’t think the Captain appreciates you calling her a moron, Gabi,” she scolded.

Leo’s overall expression didn’t change, but Illiana didn’t miss the exasperation briefly flashing through her eyes.

Leo, to Euna and Gabi: i have total faith in you guys

Leo, to herself: there's like a 30% chance they both die

☆ TAGLISTS. let me know if you want to be added/removed to any of them.

general taglist:

@nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @quilloftheclouds @ashen-crest @writeblrfantasy @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @extra-magichours @avi-why @lefttigerobservation @chazzawrites @bardolatrycore @innocentlymacabre

andromeda taglist:

@bebewrites @nicola-writes @dgwriteblr @the-orangeauthor @retrogayyde @akindofmagictoo @quilloftheclouds @nora-theteawriter @ashen-crest @corpsepng @writeblrfantasy @chaylattes @toboldlywrite @celestepens @stardustspiral @pepperdee @cheerfulmelancholies @extra-magichours @writeouswriter @cilly-the-writer @lefttigerobservation @rose-bookblood @drowsy-quill @chazzawrites @cynic-and-chief @enchanted-lightning-aes @aesa

gemini heist taglist:

@florraisons @akindofmagictoo @cream-and-tea @nicola-writes @memento-morri-writes @antique-symbolism @rose-bookblood @afoolandathief @pepperdee @avi-why @zonnemaagd @chazzawrites @analogued @enchanted-lightning-aes @innocentlymacabre @kahvilahuhut @celestepens @cilly-the-writer

“The Texas Observer’s 2023 Must-Read Lone Star Books” by Senior Editor Lise Olsen, with help from Susan Post of Austin's Bookwoman:

Despite a disturbing rise in book bans, Texas is, against all odds, becoming more and more of a literary hub with authors winning accolades, indie bookstores popping up from Galveston Island to El Paso, and ban-busting librarians and other book-lovers throwing festivals. So as you ponder gifts this holiday season or consider what to read by the fire or by the pool (who can say in December?), pick some Lone Star lit. 

Here’s a list of #MustRead 2023 books by Texans or about Texas compiled by the Observer staff with help from Susan Post of Austin’s independent Bookwoman. (Several talented Texans also made best book lists in Slate magazine, The New Yorker, and NPR’s Books We Love.)

NONFICTION

We Were Once a Family: A Story of Love, Death, and Child Removal in America by Dallas journalist Roxanna Asgarian (Farrar, Straus & Giroux) is a dramatic takedown of the Texas foster care and family court system. It’s both a compelling narrative and an investigative tour de force.

The People’s Hospital: Hope and Peril in American Medicine (Simon & Schuster) by Ricardo Nuila, a Houston physician and author, is an eye-opening and surprisingly optimistic read. Nuila delves deeply into what’s wrong with modern medicine by painting rich portraits of the patients he’s treated (and befriended) while working at Harris County’s Ben Taub Hospital, which offers free or low-cost—yet high-quality—care against all odds. Each of them had been forced into impossible positions and suffered additional trauma from obstacles and gaps in insurance, corporate medicine, and Big Pharma.

Waco: David Koresh, the Branch Davidians and a Legacy of Rage (Simon & Schuster) by Fort Worth journalist Jeff Guinn is one of two books that mark the 30th anniversary of the standoff between the Branch Davidians and federal agents that ended with 86 deaths. (The other is Waco Rising by Kevin Cook.) Both authors recount how the 1993 tragedy shaped other extremist leaders in America—and still influences separatist movements today.

Quantum Criminals: Ramblers, Wild Gamblers and Other Sole Survivors from the Songs of Steely Dan (University of Texas Press) by Alex Pappademas and Joan LeMay has been described as the quintessential Steely Dan book. As part of the project, LeMay, a native Houstonian, created 109 whimsical portraits of characters that sprang from the musicians’ lyrics and legends. In a review, fellow artist Melissa Messer wrote: “Looking at Joan’s oeuvre makes me feel tipsy, or like I’ve drunk Wonka’s Fizzy Lifting Drink and I’m swimming through the air after her, searching for the same vision.”

Memoir

Black Cameleon: Memory, Womanhood and Myth(Macmillan) by Debra D.E.E.P. Mouton, the former Houston poet Laureate, shares lyrical memories of her own life mixed with ample asides on Black culture and family lore. Her storylines sink deeply into a dream world, and yet readers emerge without forgetting her deeper messages.

Leg: The Story of a Limb and a Boy Who Grew from It (Abrams Books) by Greg Marshall of Austin has been described as “a hilarious and poignant memoir grappling with family, disability, and coming of age in two closets—as a gay man and as a man living with cerebral palsy.” NPR’s Scott Simon, who interviewed Marshall, described the memoir as “intimate, and I mean that in all ways—insightful and often laugh-out-loud funny.”

Up Home: One Girl’s Journey (Penguin Random House) by Ruth J. Simmonsis a powerful memoir from the Grapeland native who became the president of Brown University and thus, the first Black president of an Ivy League institution. Simmons begins by sharing stories about her parents, who were sharecroppers, and about her life as one of 12 children growing up in a tiny Texas town during the Jim Crow era. For her, the classroom became “a place of brilliant light unlike any our homes afforded.” (Simmons’s other academic credentials include being the former president of Smith College; president of Prairie View A&M University, Texas’s oldest HBCU; and the former vice provost of Princeton.)

Novels and Short Stories

An Autobiography of Skin(Penguin Random House) by Lakiesha Carr weaves together three powerful narratives all featuring Black women from Texas. Carr, a journalist originally from East Texas, plumbs the depths of each character’s struggles, sharing tales of gambling, lost love, abuse, and the power of women to overcome. 

Holler, Child (Penguin Random House), a new short story collection from Latoya Watkins, was long-listed for the National Book Award. Her eleven tales press “at the bruises of guilt, love, and circumstance,” as the cover description promises, and introduce West Texas-inspired characters irrevocably shaped by place.

The Nursery (Pantheon Books) by Szilvia Molnar—a surprisingly honest, anatomically accurate (and unsettling) novel about new motherhood—begins: “I used to be a translator and now I am a milk bar.” It’s a riveting and original debut by Molnar, who is originally from Budapest, was raised in Sweden, and now lives in Austin.

Two legendary Austin writers weighed in with new novels on our tall stack of Texas goodreads: The Madstone (Little, Brown and Company) by Elizabeth Crook, the 2023 Texas Writer Award winner, and Mr. Texas, a fictional send-up of Texas politics by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Lawrence Wright. 

Poetry

Bookwoman’s Susan Post, who contributed titles to our list, also recommends filling your holiday shelves with poetry by and about Texans:

Dream Apartment (Copper Canyon Press) by Lisa Olstein; 

Low (Gray Wolf Press) by Nick Flynn; 

Freedom House by KB Brookins (published by Dallas’ Deep Vellum Bookstore & Publishing Co.) 

Essays

Pastures of the Empty Page: Fellow Writers on the Life and Legacy of Larry McMurtry (University of Texas Press) edited by George Getchow, contains essays from a who’s who list of Texas writers about Larry McMurtry’s influence on Texas culture and their lives. It includes an array of reflections on history and the writing process as well as anecdotes about McMurtry’s off-beat and innovative life. 

To Name the Bigger Lie (Simon & Schuster) by Sarah Viren, an ex-Texan who now teaches creative writing at Arizona State University, (excerpted in Lithub) includes reflections on Viren’s experiences (and misadventures) as an “out” academic and writer in states like Florida, Texas, and Arizona. As she dryly notes, “Critiques of the personal essay, and by extension memoir, are often gendered—not to mention classist and racist and homophobic.” 

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