#Freddy Carter imagine | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

bi-bard · 1 year

Text

No Saints Ever Watched Over Me - Kaz Brekker Imagine [Shadow & Bone]

Title: No Saints Ever Watched Over Me

Pairing: Kaz Brekker X Sun Summoner!Reader

Word Count: 1,798 words

Warning(s): canon-typical violence

Summary: Kaz held onto the belief that no saints had looked out for him and none were in a rush to rescue him. When forced to face the very saint that he refused to believe in, will Kaz accept that he was wrong or continue on his path of denial and avoidance?

Author's Note: Here's how one piece of dialogue made me want to throw all sorts of canon to the wolves just so this idea could happen.

---------------------------

At some point, hiding became as natural as breathing.

My parents taught me to hide before most things.

They were the only ones who knew about my... condition that I hadn't directly told.

They had seen the sunlight that coursed through my veins. The prophecy unfolding in their very home. The future presented to them on a silver platter.

They knew what would happen if I was ever discovered. They never wanted me to hear, but I did. They knew that I would be hunted for the rest of my life. That I would be shoved into harm's way in the name of Ravka. Men would be happy to watch my blood spill for their battles if they were wrapped in the flag of their country.

I was young when a group of men showed up at their door.

My dad took me away. As far away as he could. My mom didn't have a chance.

When he knew that what was happening was inevitable, he told me to run. Run, hide, and never tell anyone about my gift.

I was alone.

I never saw my power as a gift. Especially not after that day. In one swoop, this "gift" had taken everything from me.

And I still had to survive despite that.

I settled in Ketterdam. Alone and terrified. I needed to find work and a place to stay while I was still very young.

Working with Kaz Brekker was an accident more than anything else. It had been a few years since I had seemed to plant my feet on the ground. I had made friends with Jesper, who had offered me a chance to make myself a decent amount of money.

After that, Kaz seemed to come to me for every mission they had. I don't know why. As far as he was able to know, Kaz could have found a hundred people who were just like me.

Granted, I didn't have to keep working with him. I could have taken another job. But I didn't. Working with Kaz just felt right. Working with the Crows felt right.

I was a regular part of the team.

It was nice.

None of them seemed willing to say it out loud but it was like having a family. A real family for the first time in ages.

I kept my... situation private. They didn't truly need to know.

However, I knew that it would be foolish to think that I could hide it from them forever. It did take them longer than

Inej was the first to find out.

Kaz had noticed that something was "off" about me. Something was different. He couldn't figure out what that thing was. And Kaz Brekker hated not knowing everything about a situation.

He sent her to spy on me for the night. Follow me. See who I did business with, who I met for drinks, who I brought home with me (which I never did).

I had been curled at the foot of my bed after a long, exhausting day. I was tired and sad and angry all at the same time. I needed something of comfort. I allowed a ball of sunlight to form in my hand and sit in my palm. The fog and dreariness of Ketterdam didn't allow for one to enjoy a moment in the sunshine, so I had to make my own.

Inej must have caught me just as I was sitting there with it.

Not that she told me.

Instead, she went straight back to Kaz with what she had learned.

I could imagine what his reaction was. The disbelief, the anger at the insistence, and the dismissal of the whole event with some comment about it all being some clever trick on my part.

I hope she asked him what the point of a trick was when I was alone.

I only found out that Inej knew when I was told to go meet Kaz in his office. As I passed the bar, Inej and Jesper watched me go by. I watched Inej's hand move to her forehead and chest. I furrowed my eyebrows for a moment. I hadn't told her anything, so why did she do that?

Kaz was standing behind his desk when I walked in.

"Close the door," he instructed bluntly. I did so.

I walked over to stand across from him, waiting for some indication of what this was all about.

"What are you," he asked.

I paused for a moment. "Excuse me?"

"What are you?" he repeated, putting an emphasis on each word.

"I'm (Y/n), you allow me to work with you because I can fight, and you said that I can be pretty clever-"

"I said what, not who."

"Will you just tell me what this is about," I asked. "I clearly don't know."

"I had Inej follow you last night."

"Kaz!"

"You were hiding something from me," he tried to explain.

"So you sent someone to watch me? That is incredibly invasive!"

"She saw your trick," he continued. "The sunlight in your hand."

I felt frozen. The motion at the bar suddenly made sense to me. Inej was firm in her beliefs. Private, but firm. She saw me and thought that I was the saint that the stories were about.

"How did you do it?"

"I... I just can," I shrugged. "You think it was a trick."

"I know it was a trick," he replied. "The sun summoner wouldn't hide away in Ketterdam."

I took a deep breath. "My parents paid for me to get here. They knew what I was. They knew what would happen if the Grisha got their hands on me. It was meant to protect me. I kept my head down. I stayed quiet. Worked with you for money because it was the safest choice I had at the time."

Kaz didn't speak up. He didn't truly believe me. Not entirely. I wasn't surprised by that. Kaz had trust issues when it came to normal people. Never mind... someone like me.

I took a step away from the desk. I let a ball of sunlight form in my hand.

Kaz slowly walked around the desk. He studied me, stepping in a small circle around me. He was looking for the trick. The effect. Some sign that what Inej had seen was wrong.

He stopped in front of his desk again.

I closed my hand, scuffing out the sunlight.

"You are never to do that unless in the presence of me, Inej, and Jesper. Understood?"

"I know how to hide," I replied. "I've been doing this for a long time now."

He just nodded to me.

I kept to that agreement as best I could. I never showed my gift outside of my room. The only time anyone else saw it was when Inej came by, begging to know if it was all true.

She tried to praise me. Call me a saint.

I didn't let her. I begged her to not see me as a hero because I wasn't one. I had no interest in being one. All I wanted was some semblance of normalcy. She respected that.

My agreement with Kaz didn't crumble until I saw it as absolutely necessary.

He had told me to join him to get through the door of some place.

He had been doing that more and more. Having me work directly by his side. I had no interest in questioning it, but I did notice it.

It had been going well. However, the number of guards had been greatly underestimated.

The only part that I truly remember was one of the guards choking Kaz. His cane had been thrown across the room from him. I didn't have the physical strength to stop the guard. I knew that.

So, as if on instinct, I threw a ball of sunlight at him.

He fell to the ground, allowing Kaz to lean back against the wall and catch his breath.

I ran over to grab his cane. I walked over slowly, holding it out to him. He snatched it from my hand, an angry look taking over his features.

"Are you alright," I asked.

He didn't bother with my question, instead posing one of his own, “What the hell were you thinking?”

“That you were about to die."

“You could have gotten yourself killed, hunted! All that you have claimed to have been terrified of!”

"You would truly rather die by the hand of your own stubbornness than ever thank someone for their help," I rolled my eyes.

"You agreed to never use your powers around others! I don't need you to save me!"

I scoffed at him. “Kaz, I understand that you think you’re invincible, but please believe me when I say that you are nowhere close.”

“And you are?” he stepped closer to me.

“Would you like to compare a list of things that I could survive versus what you could survive? I really don’t think you would because you would end up quite embarrassed!”

Kaz’s jaw clenched as he merely continued glaring. As if he were stunned that I had the nerve to yell at him the way I did. To question his power and control and leadership the way I did.

“I hate to tell you this, but you have people who care for you, Kaz Brekker,” I continued. “There are people that actually don’t want you dead. Let them help you. That’s why you have a crew in the first place.”

"Don't claim to be my savior."

"Don't claim that you never need to be saved!"

The silence after that was tense. He was angry and the boss of the whole gang. I was angry and able to scorch the earth beneath his feet.

"We have work to do," I finally muttered, walking around him.

"What happened to keeping your... affliction a secret," he asked as I did so.

I stopped at the door, turning back to him. "If the choice was letting you die or exposing my secret, then the choice would be you. Every single time."

There was a long pause before Kaz spoke up, "Why?"

There was another, even longer pause. "Is it not obvious?"

His face didn't shift. Not at all.

I had some feeling in my chest that he knew the answer to his question long before he asked it. Maybe he just needed the personal confirmation. Maybe he wanted me to say something entirely different so that it would bring some comfort. Allow him some escape route from his own feelings.

"Can we go now," I asked.

He nodded. "Fine."

Kaz may not have believed in saints. But I would like to believe that some part of him believed in me.

And that was enough for me.

---------------------------

Navigation Guide

What I Write For

Some Original Characters

#kaz brekker fanfiction #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone x reader #shadow and bone fanfiction #imagine #fanfiction #x reader #freddy carter imagine #freddy carter fanfiction #freddy carter x reader

582 notes · View notes

hottpinkpenguin · 1 year

Note

Kaz brekker with the Nightmares end eventually prompt? Male/gender neutral reader if possible and romantic! If you do it then thank you!

A/n: I always love my first fic for a new character, so thank you anon for putting Kaz Brekker on my list!! this is a tad cheesier than my normal fare but i think our brooding boy Kaz needs a little romance in his life, so here it is. Hope you love it<3

Nightmares Kaz Brekker X GN!Reader WC: 2,031 Content Warnings for: depictions of violence, dead bodies, gore; probably some non-canon details

Kaz’s legs grew heavy and stopped kicking, his back end sinking into the cold waters of Ketterdam’s harbor. Behind him, the rank stench of rotting corpses from the Reaper’s Barge hung like a cloud in the air. The lights of Ketterdam bobbed on the horizon ahead like a beacon, but it seemed with each moment Kaz was drifting further away from the shore. His fingers fumbling to grab hold of his dead brother’s jacket for flotation. He gulped at the night air in the rare moments where his head broke the surface of the waves. The salt water stung the open sores on his face and hands, his body weak from sickness and hunger. The only thought in his mind: swim.

Trying to stifle a wave of nausea, Kaz grabbed ahold of Jordie’s bobbing corpse and hauled himself as far upward above the waves as he could manage. Kaz let out a strangled sob as his brother’s dead-pale face sank an inch below the water, his lifeless eyes gaping up at the starless sky above.

“Jordie.”

Kaz choked on his brother’s name, grief and horror twining together in his chest like strangling vines. He tried to push away thoughts of giving up, of letting go of Jordie’s corpse and allowing the sea to take him.

But something deep within him burned hotter than the firepox that riddled his body. A drive to live, to fight, to survive. Kaz had always had it - he got it from Jordie, he knew. Jordie had taught him how to fight back when the world threatened to crush you. Kaz heard his older brother’s voice echo in his mind: swim, Kaz.

His vision swam with white dots, but he forced himself to kick his legs, though they felt heavy like anchors.

Swim, Kaz. Swim. The feel of his brother’s unnaturally stiff, cold skin beneath the thin, water-logged linen shirt seared itself into Kaz’s memory.

Swim. Kick. Breath. Swim. Kick. Breath.

The lights of Ketterdam drew closer.

Kick. Kick. Swim.

The faint sounds of the docks tickled his ears. Kaz’s lungs were burning, the firepox that had weakened him and taken his brother’s life making one last, desperate attempt at his strength.

Breath. Kick. Breath. Kick.

Kaz felt his leg bounce off the ragged surface of a rock. The sounds of waves lapping on a rocky coast announced his arrival at the shores of Ketterdam.

Kick. Kick. Kick.

As soon as Kaz felt the pebbles scrape his stomach, he threw himself off his brother’s dead body and emptied his stomach in the sea foam. His head spun with exhaustion, fever, and terror. Next to him, he felt his brother’s body bob against him in the waves. Kaz scrambled away from the feeling, the terror reaching a fever pitch in his mind as he began to understand what he’d done.

He turned to look back at Jordie, now face-down in the ankle deep waters along Ketterdam’s warehouse district seawall. Jordie’s stiff body was so pale it seemed to shimmer with an unnatural, sickly glow. Kaz shivered violently as panic ripped through every inch of him. Mustering all his strength, he tipped his chin towards the sky and shrieked. He screamed for everything in his life he’d once thought would keep him safe: for Jordie, for his parents, for the world he thought he knew. The shriek felt like it would tear him in half, and Kaz let himself empty the pain he felt inside into the raw dark night. When the scream finally died on his lips with a strangled sob, what was left of the boy that had been Kaz Rietveld knew he would never be the same again…

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

Kaz felt himself rear up out of bed, his heart racing and that shriek from so many years before fading like an echo in his ears. He was panting, his body soaked with sweat. He swiped back the stray strands of hair plastered to his flushed forehead with a gloved hand.

“Kaz?”

A familiar voice drifted through the barely open door to his private quarters above the Crow Club. Kaz felt the knot of panic in his chest loosen slightly at the sound.

“Kaz, are you alright?”

Ever respectful, you didn’t barge through the door to check on him, although Kaz could hear the tense itch of concern in your voice. Kaz let his eyes close as he tried to clamp down the lid on his memories.

“I’m fine,” he called back, although his voice wavered pathetically. There was a split second of quiet before you replied.

“Nightmares, boss?”

The question was so quiet Kaz almost didn’t hear you. He let out a shaky exhale through lips that quivered ever so slightly. A gentle tap on the door: a question.

“Come in, y/n.”

Kaz wasn’t used to letting people into his quarters. Even Inej and Jesper, his closest friends - if Kaz Brekker could be said to have such relationships - were rare guests. Kaz didn’t like that he let you in, but you felt like a tonic. It wasn’t a coincidence that Kaz had asked you to take night watches for him. Your presence seemed to ease a pain Kaz had felt for so long he’d forgotten he had it. And on nights like this one - nights where Kaz’s dreams swallowed him whole and spat him back out - he needed you close. He’d never admit it aloud, although he didn’t need to. There was an understanding between you two, a tacit agreement. You’d stay close to him, he’d look after you.

You opened the door and slipped in, a momentary brightening from the hallway lights followed by the return of darkness to Kaz’s quarters.

“They were bad tonight.” Not a question, but an observation. Kaz looked over in your direction as his eyes adjusted to the darkness. He could barely make out your silhouette, although he could see the moonlight from his open window dancing in your large, thoughtful eyes. Damn those eyes, Kaz cursed to himself silently. They would be his undoing.

“Yes.”

Kaz never talked much about his dreams, even to you. He was grateful that you were content with what little information he did give. He had a feeling that you recognized just how difficult it was for him to tolerate the miniscule amounts of vulnerability he allowed you to see.

From the doorway, you nodded. You didn’t move to come closer to Kaz, and he didn’t motion for you to. You were close enough for Kaz to hear your even, steady breathing. He focused on that sound and tried to slow his own inhales and exhales to match. Even though it violated every instinct he had, Kaz let his eyelids flutter close. You hung back next to the door. The sounds of the sleeping city outside filled the quiet. Minutes passed, and Kaz let his mind loosen its grip on the fear that his nightmare had awoken.

When he opened his eyes, he found you exactly where he’d left you. Leaned against the wall, your kind eyes still trained on him. Kaz scooted up to lean back against the headboard, his bare chest now rising and falling in time with your own breathing.

“You have nightmares too, if I remember?”

Kaz caught the flicker of surprise in your gaze. Kaz usually never talked on nights like this, not unless you asked him something. Not only was he speaking, he was asking about you. Surprise gave way to a tender smirk, and you nodded.

“I did. Still do, but they’re less now.” Flickers of moments from your past that plagued your dreams danced in your head. A field of charred bodies… your sister in her favorite day dress lying face down in the blood-soaked mud next to the smoking remnants of your house… the way the smoke from your burned-out village blotted out of the sun…

You shook the images away like gnats, bringing yourself back to the moment, back to Kaz.

He was watching you intently. His dark hair was deliciously disheveled, and you could see the smooth planes of his stomach peeking out above the bedsheets.

“How did you do it?” he asked quietly. You forced yourself away from his body and tried to focus on his words, realizing you’d lost track of the conversation. You cocked an eyebrow at him, unsure of his meaning.

“How did you cope with them, I mean,” Kaz clarified. “How did you get them to go away?” A gentle night breeze fluttered the gauzy curtains by the window next to his bedside.

You turned Kaz’s question over in your head, wondering where to start.

“They never really went away,” you confessed, chewing on your lip. You’d resigned yourself long ago that you’d live the rest of your life with memories of the day your family was taken from you carved into your soul. It wasn’t something you would escape or ever come to terms with. It simply was.

You tried to say as much, but the words that dangled on the edge of your tongue felt all wrong. Your mouth opened and closed with a heavy sigh.

Kaz’s lips quirked up at the sound. He turned to look out into Ketterdam’s streets, the moonlight casting his handsome face in a gentle glow.

“That’s not a fair question,” he mused with a hint of embarrassment. “I’m sorry to bother you, y/n. I’m fine. You can go back to your post.”

You felt a twinge of disappointment at Kaz’s words, although they were less of a dismissal and more of a question. You turned to leave, but hesitated as your hand touched the doorknob.

When you turned back to him, he was staring at you with something that looked like hope in his eyes. It made your heart leap in your chest.

“One thing I learned about nightmares, boss. Even nightmares end eventually.”

Kaz considered your words thoughtfully. You held his gaze as you kept talking.

“The things that gave us our nightmares ended, too. It doesn’t mean we forget them, it doesn’t mean we move on. But it does mean that we aren’t prisoners forever. The dreams, the memories… they’re with us, but they don’t control us. They teach us things, but they don’t command us.”

Kaz drank in your every word, watching the way your expression glazed over as whatever memories haunted you swam just beneath the surface of your eyes. He knew that look: he’d seen it in himself many times before. The way you wore it though was different. He marveled at the realization that he’d never really seen you before. He’d felt you, felt the calming effect that your presence had on him. But now he could see why: you understood him. As much as anyone could. Kaz had always liked to think that others only knew him as much as he let them know him. You were proof that that wasn’t true. It both frightened him and delighted him.

“Sorry… that didn’t make much sense.” You let your eyes drop to the ground, suddenly embarrassed by your outburst. You turned to the door, eager to make your escape from the awkward moment.

“It makes perfect sense, actually,” he interjected quickly. You hesitated, halfway out the door into the dimly lit hallway. With the aid of the lamps from the hall, Kaz could see you more clearly. He thought he detected a faint flush on your cheeks, and he had to bite down a smirk at the sight. He was glad the light didn’t reach him, because you’d see a similar heat on his face. He’d taken a big step with you tonight, but he wasn’t ready to show you how he felt. Not yet.

“Thank you, y/n,” he called after you.

You turned halfway back to him, not meeting his eyes. From your profile, Kaz could see the faint hints of a smile.

“You’re welcome, Kaz.”

You left him alone with a quiet click of his door. Kaz hated how much he loved the way his name sounded in your voice.

This time when Kaz fell asleep, it wasn’t his past that swirled in his dreams, but hopes for the future.

#kaz rietveld #kaz brekker #kaz x reader #kaz x y/n #kaz imagine #kaz shadow and bone #bastard of the barrel #kaz dirtyhands brekker #six of crows imagine #six of crows #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine #freddy carter #freddy carter x reader #freddy carter x y/n #freddy carter imagine #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker x y/n #kaz brekker imagine

446 notes · View notes

jahayla-parker · 11 months

Text

Brunching with Crows : Freddy Carter x Reader

Descr.: 3.2k wc, reader and Freddy host a brunch with the other Crows from Shadow and Bone prior to the start of Season 2 (I ran with the idea based on Freddy actually hosting a brunch with said crows for Season 2), fluff!

Warnings: mentions of food and eating, Freddy and Reader being too cutesy of a couple 🥹), mentions of engagement/wedding, mention of money/Euros, that’s all I can come up with 💜

Y/n smiled to herself as she caught sight of her fiancé Freddy cooking in their kitchen. She quietly waltzed in and ruffled his hair, making him chuckle softly. Y/n’s smile grew as she wrapped her arms around Freddy and buried her head in the crook of his neck.

Freddy hummed tenderly as he formed a wide grin. “Good morning, love” he cooed, placing his hands on top of y/n’s.

Y/n hummed back, snuggling into Freddy’s shoulder.

“Sleep well?” Freddy questioned. As he waited for an answer, he kissed y/n’s forehead before he resumed stirring the batter.

Y/n squeezed Freddy’s waist lovingly. “Course! Now,” she hummed letting go of him and placing a small kiss on his cheek. Y/n stepped back all the way and took inventory of the kitchen and the progress Freddy had made this morning. “Since you decided to start without me, how can I help?” She smiled.

“You don’t need to help” Freddy chuckled, smiling over his shoulder at y/n.

Y/n playfully rolled her eyes, “they’re our friends Freddy”.

Freddy grabbed the white kitchen towel from beside him and dramatically waved it in the air in mock surrender. “I know, but it was my idea, I’ve got it” he shrugged, adding more sugar to his mix.

Y/n raised an eyebrow and smirked to herself. Shaking her head quietly, she walked over to the sink to get started on the small pile of dishes. As y/n turned the faucet on, she teased, “hmmm you want all the credit, I see, okay-“.

“Shut up” Freddy laughed, shaking his head.

“I’m just saying” y/n argued, laughing as Freddy scoffed.

“I merely meant, you could shower instead or-“ Freddy argued lightly.

“Oohhh, so I stink, that’s it” y/n tsked dramatically before jokingly checking her armpits.

Freddy huffed and used his pointer finger to scoop a small amount of batter from the bowl. He smirked as he turned and flicked it over at y/n.

“Freddy!!” Y/n gasped, her laugh ringing in the air as she wiped her shoulder clean.

Freddy laughed as y/n spun and splashed him with water from faucet. “If you truly want to help darling, I could use some assistance cutting the produce” he smiled, turning back to his bowl.

“I thought I had to shower because I smell” y/n teased, drying her hands. She squeaked as Freddy’s arms suddenly wrapped around her as she went to grab the cutting board.

Freddy chuckled and he bent his neck to place a tender kiss on y/n’s shoulder and neck. “Please, as if you don’t always manage to smell like strawberries and coconuts” he hummed.

“Strawberries and coconuts?” Y/n questioned laughing as she turned around in his arms.

Freddy’s cheeks flushed crimson but he held his ground and nodded.

Y/n thought on it for a moment, “Hmm my hair stuff is kinda coconuty so I’ll give you that, although I’ve yet to put it in today”. As she rambled, Freddy just smiled and listened intently. “But, I don’t know about the strawberries, but thank you” y/n giggled, kissing his cheek.

Y/n moved to go grab the temporarily forgotten cutting board but Freddy’s arms stopped her as he refused to let her go. She glanced over towards where he’d cuddled up into her neck and laughed. “What?” y/n asked softly upon seeing his pouting lips.

“I want a real kiss” Freddy whined.

Y/n laughed, “I haven’t brushed my teeth yet sunshine”. She smiled lovingly and ran her hand through Freddy’s hair the way he adored as a compromise.

Freddy’s eyes softened and lips curled up at the sensation. But, he quickly snapped his attention back to what he really wanted. Freddy lifted his eyebrow at y/n and huffed playfully. “It’s been three years, and you still haven’t caught on that I don’t care?” He chuckled, pulling her closer.

Freddy watched with a smile as y/n giggled and bounced her head to the side in a teasing agreement. He moved closer but left his lips hovering just above hers as he waited for her official permission.

Seeing his patience and respectful demeanor, y/n smiled widely. She quickly closed the gap between them by pulling his head closer until their lips met. Y/n felt Freddy smirk before kissing her back; one hand in her hair, the other on her waist. “Now, no more distractions Carter, they’re going to be here soon” she teased as they parted.

Freddy chuckled and nodded dutifully as he walked back to his station. “Yes ma’am” he teased.

Y/n smacked Freddy’s arm lightheartedly with the kitchen towel. “Ewww, don’t call me that” she laughed.

“My bad, love” Freddy chuckled loudly.

“Much better” y/n winked, finally grabbing the cutting board and knife. As she looked up to pull down a bowl for the fresh cut fruit, she noticed something on the ceiling. Y/n unconsciously tilted her head to the side in confusion as her eyes followed the path of what appeared to be batter.

It trailed all the way back to where she’d found Freddy this morning; and there was even more splatter just above him.

“WAIT! Why is there batter on the ceiling?” Y/n gasped, snapping her eyes over to her now-blushing fiancé. Y/n watched curiously as Freddy stayed silent, staring at his bowl as if he hadn’t heard her. “Freddy! What happened?” Y/n laughed as she resumed staring at how much splatter was on the ceiling above them.

“I thought you only got my arm earlier,” y/n mumbled softly, grabbing a stool from beside the fridge. “So, how’d you get it on the ceiling?!” she questioned again, setting the stool up below the start of the trail.

Freddy laughed bashfully, “ummm…, that was my first batch today”.

“That’s not the first batch?” Y/n asked, pointing to the bowl in Freddy’s hand after wiping the start of the splatter trail from the ceiling.

“No?” Freddy replied timidly. He bit his lip as his cheeks grew even warmer.

Y/n laughed and stared expectantly at Freddy as she waited for an explanation.

“I tried the new mixer and…,” Freddy chuckled breathily, his eyes darting from the ceiling to the bowl. “Well, then I realized, hand-mixed batter tastes better” he covered, shrugging.

“Because it doesn’t taste like the ceiling?” Y/n teased.

Freddy nodded rapidly, “mmhm, yeah”.

Y/n grinned and jumped down from the stool, making her way to her messy fiancé. She placed a tender kiss on his cheek “you’re lucky you’re so cute”.

Freddy chuckled but as he heard the sound of y/n stabilizing the stool behind him, he quickly spun around to face her. Before that moment, he hadn’t noticed she’d already gotten the first part of the batter cleaned up during his confession. “‘ey, I’ll get it after, love,” he assured her, his hands moving to her sides to support her balance.

“It’s alright! I’m already up here” y/n argued, wiping the last of the batter from the ceiling.

Freddy stared at her nervously as he watched her stretch onto her tippy-toes to reach the ceiling, despite already standing on a stool. His anxiety prompted him to tighten his grip on her waist as she leaned slightly while wiping the ceiling.

Once y/n finished cleaning up, she looked down and realized what Freddy had been doing. She let him help her off the stool, watching as his nerves calmed instantly when her feet hit the floor. “All done” she grinned, pulling Freddy in for a kiss. “See, I lived” y/n teased pinching his cheek as she tossed the paper towels away.

Y/n paused as she ventured back into the kitchen after having started setting the table. She smiled as she watched Freddy shake his fingers after pulling the latest waffle off the griddle. Y/n remembered how he always refused to use tongs instead of risking burning his fingers; not wanting to crinkle the edges.

It was beyond ridiculous, but incredibly sweet. It had started after Freddy had asked what y/n’s favorite breakfast food was when they first started dating; she answered with waffles. Once Freddy saw how much y/n liked the waffles he’d made her one particular morning, he refused to make them any other way. Even if it meant Freddy nearly burned his fingerprints off in the process.

“I can't get over how a few years ago I wanted to learn your name and now we’re hosting brunch with our castmates-turned-friends” y/n purred, leaning against the wall.

Freddy’s cheeks flushed as his wide smile prompted his dimples to pop. “You wanted to know my name?” Freddy asked sweetly, turning from the platter of waffles.

“Duh, have you seen yourself?” Y/n winked, moving to pass him so she could grab the next items for their table.

Freddy shook his head to himself as he pulled y/n back to him. “Mmm, you can’t say something like that and then walk away” he scolded softly, kissing her multiple times until she was squirming and giggling in his arms. “You’re one to talk though” he argued, holding y/n tightly.

“How so?” Y/n hummed, nibbling on her lip as she stared you at Freddy.

“It was the first second I saw you and I couldn't get over how beautiful you were” Freddy confessed to his fiancée.

“Hmm and now?” Y/n asked shyly, blinking up at him.

“I still can’t get over it, but now I know you’re also so much more than that” Freddy complimented, stroking her cheek with his thumb.

“Will you just marry me already?" Y/n whined as she buried herself in Freddy’s arms.

Freddy grinned widely, “just another few months, my dear. Believe me, I can’t wait either”.

Y/n smiled against Freddy’s chest, arms tightening around him as he held her just as closely.

“I’m glad we’re celebrating another season with our friends” Freddy commented, playing with y/n’s hair. “I can't believe I never knew you until then” he added, shaking his head softly. “You’re the best thing that's happened to me" Freddy admitted, smiling to himself before pressing a kiss to the top of y/n’s head.

"Stop” y/n giggled, rubbing her head against his chest as she tried to hide her bashful reaction.

“I’m serious” Freddy argued. He closed his eyes as he rested his chin on y/n’s head.

“I thought that was seeing Sebastian Stan” y/n teased lightly in referencing one of Freddy’s Instagram posts.

“I love it when you quote me” Freddy murmured.

“Stop” y/n said laughing hard, “that’s not even your line, Freddy!”

Freddy smiled as he absorbed the sound of y/n’s beautiful laughter. He chuckled when she pulled back to shake her head at him. Freddy shrugged, “it was the best fitting book quote to give you”.

Y/n smiled and bit her lip, Freddy had once again remembered a minor detail about her; how much she loves book/show references. She shook her head slowly. Humming quietly, y/n stroked his rosy cheek until her fingers reached his jaw. Her fingers cupped Freddy’s jaw while her thumb brushed over his warm cheek.

“I am serious though” Freddy whispered, not wanting to ruin the moment.

“I beat out Sebastian Stan?” Y/n inquired, giving him a questioning look.

Freddy laughed but nodded firmly, “easily, my precious girl”.

"Don't smile at me like that” y/n groaned, closing her eyes as soon as Freddy’s wide grin caused his adorable dimples to be on full display. “You know it drives me crazy” she added, pressing her lips into a fine line as her mind visualized the scene before her.

Freddy couldn’t help but giggle more, "you're my best friend. I hope you know that." "

“You gotta stop doing that” y/n murmured, pinching the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

"What?" Freddy pondered, thumb rubbing against her ear as he played with her stray hairs.

"Saying things that make me wanna kiss you” y/n explained, opening her eyes as she lowered her hand from her nose.

Freddy only laughed loudly with a proud smile on his face. He shook his head lightly, “now, why would I stop that then?”

Y/n smiled back, “we can’t stay in the kitchen kissing all day, sunshine”.

Freddy furrowed his brows and pouted. “Says who?” He asked offended, “besides you brushed your teeth”.

Y/n broke into laughter as she softly smacked Freddy’s arm. “Babe, we have company coming over, and the table isn’t done being set yet” she pointed out, tapping his nose with her pointer finger.

Freddy chuckled and nodded in agreement, “fine, one last kiss?”

Y/n took a moment to pretend to consider it, making Freddy raise his eyebrows and smirk at her. She rolled her eyes lightheartedly. “As if I would deny you of that” y/n smiled before pulling him in for a kiss.

Freddy’s thumb casually stroked y/n’s thigh as he listened to their friends/castmates catch up. He glanced over at his fiancée and grinned as the sunlight casting in from their balcony shimmered off of her engagement ring. Freddy caught sight of Cal smirking at him when he noticed how smitten Freddy was. Freddy just blushed, his lips pressed into a fine line to keep from laughing as he tried to refocus on the group.

“Hopefully this season is warmer” Kit chuckled, taking a bite of his eggs.

“No joke, I nearly froze my arse off” Amita agreed, pouting.

“Oooh language!” Y/n teased, smirking at a bashful Amita.

“Ugh, why is it just when I curse?” Amita groaned playfully as she placed a Euro in the Crows themed jar on the table.

“Because it’s too funny when you swear” Cal laughed with a shrug.

“It’s like this hesitant whispered curse” Jack agreed with a crooked smile.

“Fine, but Freddy has to add a Euro too” Amita argued, pushing the jar down the table.

Y/n laughed and glanced over at Freddy who was seated beside her, his hand still resting on her leg as it had throughout their brunch.

“Why is that?” Freddy questioned, raising an eyebrow tauntingly at his castmates.

“If the jar is for doing uncharacteristic things, you’ve yet to take a photo of the group” Amita challenged.

“Oooh, that is a good point” Y/n complimented as she smirked at Freddy.

Amita was correct, that was the point of the jar after all. Said jar was simply a clear glass container that had been decorated in random Six of Crows meme stickers. The money inside of it would be used to fund their groups’ snacks on set this season.

Freddy laughed, “I haven’t had the chance yet, it’s coming”.

“I don’t know… I don’t think we’ve gone this long before without at least one photo being taken by Freddy by now” Dani agreed, helping Amita guide the jar towards Freddy.

Freddy sighed and shook his head as he stood up to grab some money from his wallet. “Really thought this jar was a good idea, hmm?” He teased Y/n as he sat back down and dropped his Euro into the jar.

Y/n smiled innocently and hummed, “yes I do”.

“Then perhaps you should participate” Freddy argued with a smirk.

“I’m included in the rules” y/n rebutted with a laugh.

“Then you and Dani each owe a Euro” Freddy declared and Kit nodded.

“What? Why?” Y/n and Danielle asked at the same time making the room erupt in laughter.

“Because neither of you have commented on how precious you find Jack yet” Kit pointed out.

“Kit!” Y/n gasped, staring at him with wide eyes.

“You’re going scare him away!” Dani yelled.

Jack simply blushed and giggled shyly, “it’s okay”.

Y/n smiled over at Jack, “we just can’t help it, you’re seriously so adorable! Wylan is such a well fitting character for you”.

Jack smiled as his cheeks flushed even more, “thank you”.

Dani nodded, “it’s true, since the secret is out of the bag now, don’t worry darling, we don’t have a crush on you, but how can one not find you precious?!”

The others all nodded and similarly showered Jack with warm compliments.

Jack blushed the entire time before mumbling a shy but appreciative thanks.

“Still, you only said it after Freddy pointed it out” Kit argued. “So, in it goes” he winked, sliding the jar to y/n.

“I said it in my head” Y/n argued weakly.

Kit seemed to ponder it and looked to Freddy for his opinion

Freddy just shrugged, “rules are rules, love”, pushing the the hand closer to her.

Y/n glared softly and stood up to get her money, adding it to the jar after Dani slid it back to her.

Cal laughed, “this is going to fill up rather quickly”.

“Here we were, thinking it would take time since it was things we didn’t do often” Kit commented.

“Yeah, imagine if it was things we always did! Like each time Dani does that one laugh” Cal commented prompting everyone to laugh.

“Or, each time Kit spins something around as if it were one of Jesper’s pistols” y/n added.

Kit smirked at her as he made finger guns and blew a kiss.

“Or Jack being simply adorable” Freddy commented.

“Freddy talking about y/n unprompted” Amita smirked.

Y/n glanced over and saw Freddy blushing yet smiling. When Freddy looked over and shrugged Y/n shook her head and kissed his cheek.

“Or, y/n simping for Freddy” Kit winked.

Everyone laughed but Freddy just rubbed y/n’s thigh supportively.

“We would need to get Ben involved in this if we did flip the rules though” y/n argued.

“Oh, why?” Jack questioned.

“‘Cause then we could do Ben simping for Freddy” Y/n smirked

“Ooh that would fill up hella fast” Dani agreed excitedly.

“With Ben as the main sponsor of our snack budget” Kit nodded.

“I vote these are the new jar rules” Cal proposed.

“All in favor, say I” y/n stated, placing her hand on top of the jar as it rested in the center of the table.

Everyone quickly placed their hands on the jar and said I before laughing loudly.

“Now, how do we explain to Ben that he’s been involuntarily added?” Amita laughed.

Kit nodded, “while mentioning he’s not involved in the snack distribution”.

Y/n laughed, “I’ll handle it”. Y/n smirked as she pulled out her phone. “Or maybe you should” she said, stopping as she turned to look at Freddy.

Freddy laughed and nodded, getting his phone out as y/n put hers away.

“So are you all close with all of the other actors?”Jack asked timidly.

“Like the Shadow and Bone Grishaverse folks?” Dani asked to clarify who he was referring to.

Jack nodded with a small smile, “uhh yeah”.

“Kinda, our close knit group is better though, shhh” y/n joked as the others laughed.

Kit winked as he shot his finger guns at Jack, “told ya!”

Y/n noticed her friends standing up and grabbing their dishes from the table. “Oh no, you don’t need to help” she rushed, trying to stop them.

“Please, you two hosted and cooked, we can help with clean up” Amita argued.

Everyone offered some form of agreement with Amita’s comment as they began taking their own plates back to the kitchen.

Freddy watched Y/n smile and shake her head. He kissed her cheek as he pulled her to his side, “this was fun”.

Y/n beamed up at Freddy, “yeah, it was, great idea sunshine”.

Freddy blushed, “I couldn’t have done it without you”. He pressed another kiss to her head as he held her, assuming no one had returned to the room yet.

“Seriously we need to get the jar going with the new rules soon, ‘cause we could be rich in snacks with these two being the main source of income” Kit teased, squeezing Y/N’s arm softly.

Y/n felt herself grow bashful and buried her head into Freddy.

Freddy laughed softly while smiling as he looked around their place. He hummed softly to himself as he watched his friends and the love of his life, excited for their next chapters.

“Speaking of which, did Ben respond?” Cal laughed, smiling at the couple as he rejoined them.

Freddy pulled his phone out and nodded, “he’s confused, but on board”.

“And there my beloved Crows, is our first Euro!” Y/n cheered, dumping out the jar so they could restart.

“Ben has no idea what he’s gotten himself into” Dani laughed loudly, helping y/n as she scribbled a note onto the back of an extra napkin so as to not forget Ben owed one euro so far.

“Kaz scamming the Darkling from his money” Jack teased with a quiet giggle.

“Hmm?” Freddy questioned as Y/n grinned.

“I think this is our first heist” y/n smirked gleefully.

Freddy Carter Navigation

Kaz Brekker Navigation

Six of Crows Navigation

Grishaverse Navigation

My Main Masterlist Navigation (All of My Works)

Request Info (including status)

Tag list: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @nikfigueiredo @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @alex-kazbrekkersimp @missdreamofendless

#freddy carter fluff #freddy carter x y/n #freddy carter kaz brekker #freddy carter x yn #Freddy Carter #freddy carter x reader #freddy carter x you #freddy carter x reader fluff #original post #freddy carter imagine #freddy carter fanfic #freddy carter fan fic #freddy carter fanfiction

250 notes · View notes

futurecorps3 · 1 year

Text

I’m convinced I’ve read every single Kaz Brekker x reader fic in here and refuse to learn how to use AO3 bc shits confusing and my little adhd brain can’t take it.

Do you have any recommendations of a blog with a talented writer who writes for my bastard? TAG THEM IN THE COMMENTS

Do YOU write for Kaz? DROP A COMMENT BESTIE

And if no one comes to my rescue, go drop a Kaz request in my inbox bc it will absolutely be answered (blurbs, hcs, fics, ANYTHING IM STARVING)

ty :) <3

LOOK AT HIM 😭😭😭😭😭😭

#kaz brekker #six of crows #harry potter #kaz brekker x reader #shadow and bone #grishaverse #grishaverse x reader #six of crows x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker fanfic #freddy carter imagine #freddy carter x reader #plssss

203 notes · View notes

strangermurdock · 1 year

Text

freddy carter really gave us the most book accurate kaz brekker, I had chills during this scene.

THATS MY KAZ BREKKER!!!

#netflix #netflix shadow and bone #shadow and bone season 2 #shadow and bone #six of crows kaz #kaz brekker #freddy carter #six of crows #six of crows netflix #leigh bardugo #acting #season 2 #new season #no mourners no funerals #kaz brekker imagine

4K notes · View notes

shit-people-probably-didnt-say · 5 months

Text

I cant handle this

#imagine this from each crow #i would sob #freddy carter #he is our #kaz brekker #soc #six of crows #sab #shadow & bone #shadow and bone

614 notes · View notes

delic7te · 1 year

Text

sweet dreams | kaz brekker

kaz brekker x reader

summary: after an exhausting day, kaz lets you spend the night in his office

a/n : sorry for not responding to reqs, life was kinda happening. anyway here's something I wrote a long long time ago

Kaz caught himself looking at you for what seemed like the hundredth time that night, as if you might fall into the ground if he averted his gaze away from you.

The Crows were heading back to The Slat, worn out after a risky heist that ended up being a success but left them all exhausted and weak, eager to go lay back for a good sleep.

Except Kaz. The man was almost always wide awake and on watch, busy with something buisness related. He allowed you to tag along with his work at times because you had quite a gift for things like he did, even though he hired you as a weapon more than as a mastermind. But you became both and Kaz trusted you enough to let you help him out with planning heists and managing the Dregs, as you were in the buisness almost as long as he was. Of course, you had your own reputation and jobs, sometimes working for Kaz but mostly for yourself.

Still, Kaz and you partnered up at times.

When you were finally at the Slat, everyone drifted into their rooms immediately and shortly fell sound asleep. But Kaz needed to get some work done as always, which meant he would take you with him.

"Y/N, come along", he told you when you came through the door, glancing down at you again. You looked like you hadn't slept for weeks, your eyelids threatening to shut down any second now. "Huh?"

"There's some paperwork left if you don't mind", Kaz explains as he limps up the stairs, you following behind.

"Alright." A quiet sigh leaves your lips. "I planned on staying up a little anyway" , you lie.

Kaz felt bad for keeping you up even though he knew all you wanted to do was to lay back on your bed and give your mind a rest, but he still kept a straight cold expression when you both sat down in his office.

You took of your coat and put it on the couch by his window, sitting down on a chair opposite of his at his desk. Kaz sat right down, picking up files and spreading them all over the desk. "Where were we?"

You let out a yawn, covering your mouth with your hand. "Are you sure this can't wait until the morning?"

It could. He knew it could. Yet something in him told him to keep going and keep you by his side for as long as possible.

Tonight, during a job, Kaz got really concerned for you. It was dangerous, bloody and filthy out there and even though you fend for yourself perfectly in jobs like that, he still sometimes saw you as a butterfly whose wings are about to be torn off by vultures and the cruel world.

He hated that. He hated feeling that type of cautiousness. But when you were in his office, working by his side, he could have an excuse to be in your presence while you were perfectly safe. He would never admit that to you, so he would rather keep you occupied and close to him.

"Hang on for just a few minutes, can you?"

With no choice and a small nod, you get back to all the paperwork scattered on the desk before you. "Atleast we got what we needed tonight."

♤—————————♤

After some time of silent working together, Kaz stands up from the desk. "Excuse me for a minute", he says as he limps to the bathroom.

Kaz shuts the bathroom door, taking off his gloves. He splashes his face and gloves with water, refreshing himself.

His thoughts shift back to his partner in the next room. When had he begun to trust a person like this? Maybe it were your talents: your fighting skills, your calculated moves, your bright, sharp mind. Or it was simply your charm and wit that enchanted him whole.

Those few minutes of peace with you were all he wanted for the rest of his life. It frustrated him, how much space could someone take up in his head.

Kaz walked out of the bathroom, when he saw you lay your head over your crossed arms spread out on the desk. Your eyes were shut and you looked as if you just passed out.

He realized how he kept you up for no reason, just his selfishness, even though you were tired out of your mind. This time he didn't want to wake you, but he figured you won't be comfortable if you fell asleep in the position you were currently in.

"Y/N?", he whispers softly, careful not to startle you.

Your head rises from the wooden surface. "Sorry", you mumble, rubbing your eyes.

Kaz sits back down. "Don't be. You can stay here overnight, if you wish. My room is open to you."

You shook your head. "No, I'll go back to my place, I'll be fine."

He scoffs. "Just accept something for once. We don't want you to pass out on your way out, do we?"

There was silence after you sighed, burying your face in your hands.

"I insist", Kaz finally says, and you didn't want to resist anymore because you knew that in the end he would make you stay.

"Where would you sleep?"

"I don't need to, yet. Don't worry about me."

"Even geniuses need sleep, Kaz", you frown, standing up from your chair.

He shrugs. "Exactly why you're gonna stay here and get some rest."

"I'll just take the couch here."

When you finally layed down on the couch close to his desk, none of you said anything for a long time. Kaz kept scribbling with his pen, which lulled you to sleep even more.

"You did a good job tonight", Kaz breaks the silence, surprising you.

Your eyes find his and you gaze at each other for a moment. A small nod of appreciation was all you left off before letting your eyelids close and the darkness take over.

♤—————————♤

Kaz was finally done with working for the night, which was slowly turning into the morning. It was really late, and you had been asleep for about an hour on the couch, eyes shut and eyelashes spread over your plum cheeks.

You looked relaxed, pleasantly at peace. It was a sight Kaz couldn't take his eyes off.

Before heading to his room, he noticed that it was getting chillier in the space and that nothing covered your body from it.

There was an old blanket hanging from the end of the couch and he picked it up, placing it on top of you and protecting you from the cold in the air.

He admired you one last time. "Sweet dreams, Y/N/N", he whispers, turning around to leave the room.

"Night, bastard", replied a sleepy voice behind his back. Kaz freezes, slight embarrassment washing over him.

He was now glad he wasn't facing you, because he couldn't contain himself from letting his lips stretch into a wide smile.

#kaz brekker x reader #grishaverse imagines #grishaverse #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #six of crows #six of crows imagine #freddy carter #shadow and bone #shadow and bone imagine

2K notes · View notes

sharksnshakes · 2 years

Text

Survivor! Reader Attempting To Flirt With The Killers HCs

When running and hiding from the killers becomes too much work, it’s time to change strategies.

AN; but... what if. what if i flirted with ‘em. think about it. also, i’ve never tried this format before, so hopefully it goes well

TW; none i can think of? it’s mildly suggestive but only if you squint

Into it and ashamed (if only slightly)

Evan Macmillan, Joey, Philip Ojomo, Max Thompson Jr.

Into it and not ashamed

DANNY JOHNSON, Herman Carter, Caleb Quinn, Pinhead, Freddy Krueger, Kazan Yamaoka

Confused/Doesn’t care

Pyramid Head, Philip Ojomo, Michael Myers

Act like they’re not into it, but they actually are into it

EVAN MACMILLAN, Frank Morrison, Caleb Quinn, Albert Wesker, Kazan Yamaoka

Annoyed by it (if only slightly)

Albert Wesker

Please, they’ve been flirting with you for weeks. How haven’t you noticed?

DANNY JOHNSON, Caleb Quinn, Ji-Woon Hak

3K notes · View notes

writersblockedx · 1 year

Text

The Things we do

Pairing - Kaz Brekker x Fem!Reader Summary - When Kaz finds out a rivial gang has taken you hostage, he'll stop at nothing to find you again. Warnings - Angst, violence, torture, wounds, blood, hurt/comfort vibe Words - 2.8K

Masterlist

Kaz didn't know where you were. And, even worse, neither did you.

What you did know however: your head was pounding, the room was dark and you were tied to a chair. Your head dragged up, blood trickling from your cut lip as you faced your captor. She was a mean face. Her eyes flooded with fury that you doubted ever left and she bred the sense of vex with every step she took. If anyone was to be a psycho kidnapper, it would have been her.

"Y/n Y/l/n." A voice called your name like it was illegal, like it was something to be dragged through the dirt.

Your captor took a step back, revealing the man who was sitting in the chair behind her. In no way was he rough around the edges like the girl was. In fact, he wore a suit to fit, his lips moulded into something he seemed to use as a weapon. And despite her cut lip and likely bruised features, her head tilted and she pushed her luck. "Nice to know you know, because I've got no idea who you are." Maybe had you not just been kidnapped, you might have been more composed.

The man stood and she felt herself lean as far back in her chair as she was able. "It doesn't matter who I am." He said; his voice so monotone for the context of the situation. "I just need to know about you."

You weren't so sure where this was headed. Your mind was still trying to catch up with the punches you had just endured, attempting to understand where you were and how you were in fact going to get out of it. "Me?" You reiterated, flashing some puppy dog eyes you knew weren't going to work. But it was worth a try in this situation.

He nodded and then a word slipped from his lips. Just one word and that was all you needed to know you were in the shit now. "Crow." Them puppy dog eyes slipped away as easily as they had settled. Suddenly, you came to realise the severity of the situation and you questioned if you would be able to get out of it. The suit man looked over to the captor, nodding his head as if giving a silent command.

Like that, just as he turned his back and started walking away, a fist came flying. The knuckles of the woman's palm cracked against your cheeks with a thud. You had groaned but didn't dare say a word. You glanced back up at her through the lingering bruises. "Are the rest of you crows at the crow club?"

"Why do you want to know?" You should have known where speaking back was going to get you.

Just as quickly as them words had left your lips, another punch came crashing at your jaw. And you struggled with that one. It erupted a groan as you settled within the pain that plagued you. "What about Kaz? He's the boss right?" She continued to interrogate.

You gazed over at her through stern, mean eyes. "You can punch me till I'm bloody, I'm not telling you anything."

This time, a punch didn't follow. Instead, you watched as the woman wandered around the chair you were glued to. She walked over to a side table, retrieving a small box. It wasn't until she opened the box that you grew nervous. There were several tools. Many of them rusty and blunt but in the hand of your kidnapper, still rather painful. She took one of the bluntest knives, one that had rusted so much it was burnt and brown. With that in hand, she wandered around once again.

"Anything you went to get off your chest now?" Asked the woman.

You could feel your breath itch in your throat, feeling her shadow hover right over your shoulder. It was daunting but didn't stop you as you quipped back, "Do your worse." And she certainly did.

She took the blade. At first, it brushed over the prickles of your skin, then, within a flash, you felt it jab into your shoulder. With that, you let out a piercing scream. The metal seeming to have shot so deep into your body it felt as if it were scraping against your bone. You didn't have to look to know it was bleeding. By the time the weapon had dug into your skin, the blood was dripping down towards your elbow.

The woman took a firm grip over the blade. With every single, slight touch it was painful. Just the brush of her fingers against the metal had felt agonising. So when she took a hold of it, a groan escaped your lips. She leaned over the bleeding shoulder, "You're gonna tell me what I need to know." Her voice was a whisper but it felt deafening in your ear.

Your breath was uneven and, just as you were about to catch it, she shoved the blade down further. Another scream erupted from your lips. This one louder and much more of an echo. And once more, she leaned over your shoulder, "Where does Kaz keep the money?"

Once you let out a sigh, you looked over at her, "I'm not telling you." You were stern in your words even if everything in your body already wanted to give in.

This was what being a crow was. It was criminal. It was getting beating up and getting bloody, but it was dealing with that. And so you would. At least, you would try. Because when she even grasped the metal, you were regretting your decisions. "Wait, wait!" She stopped; so did the pain. You took a breath, trying to gather your thoughts that the pain had cut through. "Please..." You couldn't imagine anything worse than another touch from that blade.

She asked the same question: "Where does Kaz keep the money?"

A long moment followed. One in which you knew you were going to give in, even if it killed you to betray Kaz like that. Your fellow crow, your boss, the man who had took you in when you had nothing. "There's a safe. It's under his desk in the office. The office is upstairs in the crow club." Like it was nothing, you spilled everything.

"See," She paused and in one swift movement, tore the knife from your skin. Another scream erupted. But it was the last one you would have to endure. "Wasn't that difficult, was it?" She had no idea what you were in for with Kaz now. "Now, when's this office left empty?"

You knew this plan was so this gang could get their sticky fingers on Kaz's money. And maybe you should have cared more to not spill all this information considering Kaz paid your wage. But alas, the fear of the pain was seeming to pull the words from your lips, "When there's-"

You didn't know why or what had happened at first, only that your kidnapper had fallen right in front of you. Then you spotted the knife in her back. You almost couldn't believe it at first. Well, not until your head snapped up to figure that was wandering from the doorway. "Inej?" The woman removed the scarf that masked her face as she rushed forward without another word.

She went around straight away, her hands reaching out and untying the rope which bound you. "Where is she?" Came another voice which boomed through the building. A wave of guilt passed you as you came to recognise the voice: Kaz.

"In here!" Replied Inej.

And like that, the man came through. His eyes pooled with sympathy, completely unaware of how you had just betrayed him. Not that he had noticed. In that moment, Kaz had never felt such relief. Over the period you had been lost, he hadn't felt himself breathe. He sent Inej and Jesper left, right and centre until finally, they got a hit. A rival gang that barely hand enough bullets to take down the three of them. He couldn't care who had taken you. It could have been the king himself and he would have still swug through battlefields, explored every inch of this world, whatever it took just so it could get to you.

Now, with your eyes interwinding with his, he rushed to you. Inej had only just let the rope fall from your body and it was suddenly being engulfed by Kaz. At first, it had shocked you. Then you soon settled into the comfort which was ever so familiar. With your head situated on his shoulder, your gaze glanced to the doorway, finding Jesper stood there. He too just as relieved, taking in the sight of his boss and his friend tangled within the comfort of one another. Jesper knew that Kaz needed that hug just as much as you - if not more so.

When he pulled away, you were met with that worrisome gaze which seemed to devour you. "Can you stand?" Kaz questioned.

And while you couldn't exactly give him a reply, you nodded and that was enough. His hands came around, taking a hold of your own as he helped you to your feet. He guided you towards the exit, not daring to let his touch fall. About half way there, you both stopped. There came the sound of a thud from behind you. It wasn't until you turned, finding that Inej had pulled her knife from your captor's back that you came to realise why. Of course she taken her knife back. No one chose to comment. Instead, you found that it was normal and continued walking, following Jesper.

By the time you made it home, the Crow Club was empty. It wasn't until later that you would come to realise Kaz had closed the club, needing the empty space to focus on finding you. Something he was thankful for now he had you in his arms.

Once you got home, Jesper pulled a chair up for you, forcing you to sit down as he tended to the wound plaguing your shoulder. Inej was sat on a table across from you, sharpening a knife while Kaz was standing behind you. And for a moment, it was all silent. All their attention was focused on you and the wound which was buried deep into your skin. Yes, it felt as bad as it looked. "You sure you're okay?" Inquired Jesper as he pulled your shirt down for easier access.

You didn't bare look at any of them, knowing the pity you were likely to receive. "I'll be fine, Jesper." You replied without much emotion in your tone.

Jesper gave a concerned look to the man standing behind you. Something of which you had missed, too busy replying the memory of the knife in your shoulder to take note. "Okay, okay." Jesper said. "But just know," He paused as he gathered his needle and thread, "This isn't going to be pretty."

You didn't look to him as you answered, "Just clean it up, will you?" You weren't so much in the mood for Jesper's playful mood like you normally were. "I don't want an infection and a stab wound."

And like that, Jesper's lips stayed sealed as he gathered his items, staring at the wound as he attempted the best way to tackle it without hurting you so much. "What were they asking you?" Inej spoke up as her head lifted to meet yours. "Did you tell them anything?" That question made you wince.

Jesper scoffed, "It doesn't matter anyway, you killed em'." He did make a good point there, something you were silently thankful for.

"And by the looks of things," At the sound of Kaz's voice, you finally turned, meeting his gaze which seemed attached to the wound sitting on your shoulder. "You didn't tell them anything either."

Had it not been for the groan that came with the needle making contact with your shoulder, you might have said. Instead, you sucked in a breath before letting out a, "Jesper." in a snap.

"Sorry," He apologised. "I did say its not gonna be pretty." And with that, he started to thread you skin back together like it were clay.

"Do you know who it was?" Inej continued to interrogate.

You thought on it for a moment but with your pounding head, you couldn't come up with much. "No." You said first. "He wore a suit like he was trying to be more fancy than he was."

"That's it?" Critiqued Jesper from behind you, his snooty tone prompting you to gaze over at him. "He was too fancy for a suit? That's what you gathered?"

Your glare turned deathly, "I was a bit preoccupied with the fact they kept punching and threatening me...obviously." You agrued.

"Careful," Said Jesper. "Don't forget whose holding this needle." The small prick of metal glistened in his hand before your eyes rolled, turning back around.

"So we have no idea who these people are." Kaz concluded as his gaze jumped from you, something which had only enhanced that ever-heavy feeling of guilt which burdened you.

A loud exhale, almost loud enough to be classed as a sigh, came from Inej, "Suppose it's a good thing you didn't tell them anything the-"

"Ouch!" Your voice shot through the club.

All eyes came to you and your burning stare that was being pointed at Jesper. He had slipped. Only the smallest of bits but still, you had snapped at him like that. And what was worse, your anger didn't die down. Instead, you stood abruptly, tearing the needle from further patching up your wound. "Y/n-" Kaz started but you were already walking away.

And without even looking back at him, you said, "I'm fine." And continued on, eager for some privacy where the guilt of spilling your guts didn't linger.

You escaped into your room, taking in the air like it was fresh, like it wasn't intoxicated like the rest of the club was. The room was lonely, and it was empty, free of anyones opinion and judgement. With tears pricking your pupils, you wandered over to the mirror. Your shoulder took all your attention. Sure, Jesper had sewed up about half of it but the wound was still sharp and deep into your skin. It's edges ridgid and screaming to be tended to.

With a huff, you pulled your t-shirt back up, groaning at the pain which came with the contact. And you continued on with shakey legs and even shakier breath as if you could continue on. You soon came to realise it wouldn't be that easy.

The door clicked open and you tensed, suddenly appreciating your back was facing the door. The tears were easily about to slip from your eyes and that was something no one needed to see. "I told you I was fine." You said, sucking in a sharp breath that you preyed gave you the air you needed to not let those tears fall.

"You're not meant to be." Only then did you come to realise the intruder in your room was none other than Kaz Brekker. And his voice was enough to prompt you to turn, meeting his soft features which made you weak. "Whatever you went through, it was always going to be painful."

He had no idea what was truly the cause of your pain. "I've been beaten before Kaz." You argued.

He took a cautious step into the room, knowing you could force him out at any given moment. "None of us expect you to be okay, this wasn't just any normal beating, Y/n." He went on, providing comfort which would normally be accepted. But considering he didn't know the full story, it was a struggle to accept it.

Until, in a rushed decision, you gambled your whole relationship with Kaz. "I don't care that they hurt me, that they punched, stabbed, bled me like I was a doll. I couldn't get less." That part was true. "But I just- I had to."

Kaz's brows knitted, "Had to what?" He queried.

"I had to tell them." Like that, the words hung in the air. "I had to tell them everything." The tears finally started slipping until they were streaming down your cheeks.

The moment Kaz caught sight of that, he rushed over. And just as needy as before, he engulfed your body into his own. "Hey, it's okay." He assured. "All that matters is that you're safe."

980 notes · View notes

zepp-l1n · 11 months

Text

His Anchor

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader

summary: sometimes Kaz needs a comforting presence. fic type - angst, hurt/comfort, established relationship warning - Kaz's haphephobia and trauma :(, also a little ooc Kaz at the end?? word count - 1,494 a/n: hiii! hope you guys enjoy!

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

It wasn't unusual for Kaz to get overwhelmed and slip into one of his episodes. Too much time spent in interactions, physical or not, would cause him to feel the water rise up his spine and start to consume him. In the past during times like these, Kaz would run off and lock himself into his room. No one was to come in, and no one was to go out. Now things were different. Now he had (Y/N).

The girl had become apart of his team of Crows early on, but it wasn't until a little while ago that the two crossed into a relationship status past friends (one that Kaz refused to call "lovers" due to his hatred for visible weaknesses). Since they had reached this point, the two had been working on trying to break down Kaz's walls. Understandably, the couple had been taking it slow, and didn't try to go to far out of Kaz's comfort zone.

So far, they had managed to make some progress. The first step had been hand holding in short time frames - which was okay, with or without gloves.

Next had been opening up about Kaz's childhood. (Y/N) still didn't know much, due to the fact that she didn't want to push him to far to fast, but it was enough for her to understand where he was coming from. Now, when he had the episodes, she was right there with him - staying far enough away so to not make it worse, but close enough that he wouldn't have to go through it alone. She was now his savior, pulling him back to shore when the waters threatened to drown him. And he needed that safety, especially in moments like these.

●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●○●

Kaz was crouched in the corner of his room. His goal had been to huddle up on his bed where he would be more comfortable, but the waves had become to much for him to go any farther. All he could see was Jordie. All he could see was Jordie. There was no escaping him. He could feel the cold hands of Jordie and the others gripping at his body.

Kaz had been alone in his study when the attack hit him, so he didn't have far to go to hide away. Unbeknownst to him, (Y/N) had seen his shaken form enter his room. She subtly excused herself from the conversation she was having with Nina and Matthias, and calmly made her way to the room. Inside, her brain was running a mile a minuet. She knew how bad Kaz could get sometimes, and she could only hope that he was alright.

Inside the room, the boy had curled into himself farther, trying to get any slight piece of relief. He was too far into his own head that he didn't notice (Y/N)'s knock on his door, nor did he notice her enter the room.

"Kaz?" she quietly called out. Her gaze drifted to the boy on the ground - the boy she had grown to truly care about. She could tell he was hyperventilating, a common occurrence during these episodes, but his breathing was far more erratic than usual. "Kaz, sweetheart?" (Y/N) closed in on the boy, arms cautiously open and outstretched. Kaz still didn't notice her. Once more, she stepped towards him. "Kaz, I need you to listen to me, okay?"

His gloved hands were painfully clasped around his shoulders. He couldn't take in anything other than the water and Jordie. Nothing else seemed to be real.

(Y/N)'s hands reached for Kaz's. She didn't know what she was planning on doing, but she knew that she needed to bring him out of the episode fast, for his sanity and hers. "I'm here Kaz." she mumbled, soft hands winding around the leather she had become happily accustomed to. "You're safe. You're here with me." Her words and movements were gradually becoming more frantic. While keeping one hand on his, she brought the other back to herself for a moment. She knew that holding him anywhere else was way past the boundaries they had broken, and although it could possibly help, she wasn't sure if it would make things off between them afterwards.

A broken gasp brought (Y/N)'s attention back to the boy in front of her. Kaz's chest was rapidly heaving, trying to take in unnecessary amounts of air. His already shaking body seemed to increase in speed. She needed to do something, and fast.

(Y/N) knew that even the slightest bit of cold flesh may send him farther into his episode, so she quickly pulled both hands away and started rubbing them together to get some friction. Once they were as warm as she could get them, (Y/N) placed her hands onto his body - the left cradling his neck, and the right caressing his face. She pulled his body tight against hers, resting his head on her clothed chest. From this angle he would be able to hear her madly-paced heartbeat. "Kaz, darling, please." she loudly begged.

In Kaz's head, and behind Jordie's angry yells, he started to hear a steady 'thump'. Warmth enveloped his face and neck, pushing away some of the violent waves.

Soft cries started to leave the girls mouth. She couldn't help the frustrated and scared tears misting over her eyes, or the overly panicked thoughts rushing through her head.

Kaz could feel the waves dying down, but he still couldn't get away from the cold and damp feeling of the death he experienced. The thumping was still a steady tune, pulsing through the back of his conscience. He knew something or someone was there, but he couldn't get away.

"I'm here." her choked words returned to their former softness, but still repeated rapidly, as if speaking them over and over would bring him out of his trance. "Please..."

The thumping grew louder, and faster in pace. Whatever it was, Kaz was sure would burst in minuets. It echoed in his mind, blocking out Jordie's yells - blocking out the smell of sea water and the feeling of water filling his lungs. Then came the call of a soft a familiar voice - one that he could recognize and point out within all of the crowds in Ketterdam. (Y/N). The dark haze started to clear from his mind, letting him take in the sight of the girl holding him.

For a moment everything stopped. It was as if Kaz was someone else - as if he hadn't lost Jordie, or been dumped with the other bodies, or as if he could freely touch anything and anyone he wanted. He felt the soft skin pressing on his neck and face, and subconsciously leaned into it. Fresh tears streamed from his eyes, coming into contact with the soft skin he now adored, and he couldn't help but let out matching whimpers and cries of his own.

A soft gasp sounded from about him, "Kaz!" He could feel the girl start to pull away, the feeling of her warmth leaving his cold body, and he swiftly pulled her back.

"Stay." his broken voice whispered. "I'm sorry." Her heartbeat rang in his ears, proving to him that she was real, not some body he was forcefully sat beside.

"Don't be," she hoarsely muttered. "You have nothing to apologize for. Not to me." Her right hand ran over the rough skin of his cheek, brushing against the small scars that littered the area.

"I do." his voice vibrated against her shoulder. "You shouldn't have to deal with this."

(Y/N) pulled his face away from her, and used her hands to force his stare back in her direction. "Kaz Brekker, don't start with that. I am here - to help, to hold, to get you through the unnecessary suffering. I will be here every step of the way." Her voice never raised above a whisper.

"But-" he started, but (Y/N) cut him off.

"No. I will be here. I will be your tether back to reality, whenever I am needed. I will bring you back to me - back to the crows - back to yourself. We will get through this. One day, things will get better. One day, I will have you, without your armor. But until then, I will be with you every step of the way." (Y/N)'s eyes pierced into his own throughout her entire speech. Her words and look were enough to render Kaz, for the first time, speechless.

Kaz leaned forward, securing himself back into her arms. He didn't know how much longer this moment would last, or how much longer he'd be able to hold her without feeling the need to throw up, but he knew she would wait as long as it took for him to be free of his fears and hold her like this always. He knew that he had her. he finally had his anchor, and he wasn't letting it go.

#reader insert #grishaverse #shadow and bone x reader #netflix shadow and bone #six of crows imagine #six of crows #six of crows x reader #kazzle dazzle #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker #shadow and bone #freddy carter #kaz dirtyhands brekker

800 notes · View notes

heathsbitch · 1 year

Text

serenity*

• pairing: kaz brekker x black!reader

• requested: Yes

• warnings: oral (m on f), poor proof reading (as usual)

• word count: 599

• a/n: She's back! Again! S2 has pulled me from the depths and hopefully, I will be uploading more regularly. Please keep in mind that in this fic, the reader and Kaz are in an established relationship and have worked through his

Tension crept across the muscles in his back, bright eyes heavy with fatigue; he dragged himself back to the Slat, craving nothing more than rest and relaxation, preferably between the legs of his lover. The job had been tedious and gruelling, punishing for every crow – mistakes came easily to all of them, but Kaz scolded himself, believing it was his fault so many things went awry. He wasn’t focused, his mind wandered on an entirely different plane – lost in thoughts of what it would feel like to peel the clothes off his lover. It had been both a blessing and a curse to ask her to wear that dress. That white dress. The dress that hugged her form, pulling and embracing every one of her curves. The ivory dress that complimenting her ebony skin perfectly. He couldn’t help but let his eyes deviate from the locks he was tasked to pick.

Kaz was tempted to scour the streets of Ketterdam in search for a painter, a sculptor, anything that would allow him to capture the picture of his lover in that dress. But he knew nothing, no one would be able to encapsulate her beauty, the sheer sensuality of the thin fabric that caressed her skin. He thought she belonged in a temple; the very picture of some ancient deity, made to bring men to their knees, made to be worshipped. And Kaz had every intention of doing so.

The second they returned to their shared room, their sanctuary away from the prying eyes of the Barrel, Kaz’s hands found the material of her chalky dress, allowing himself to indulge in the sight one last time before he met the bare flesh of her shoulder. He took pleasure in the sight of his pale fingers pressed against her dark skin, pawing and squeezing every inch of her. His name fell from her lips like a prayer as his mouth followed in the wake of his hands. Wet, open-mouthed kisses met her body as the dress was gradually peeled from her form.

“Someone’s eager.” Kaz’s lover giggled as she was ushered towards the bed. “Is there shame in wanting to worship a living Saint?” He muttered against her lips after placing a tender kiss to them. “My, my,” She teased, “ I never took Dirtyhands for a religious man,” He lightly nipped her hip with his teeth, scolding her for her taunts. “You wanted to worship me? Then worship.” At her command, she spread her legs, presenting her already-dripping core to her lover. He stared like a man starved, fingers digging into the sable flesh of her thighs.

“Fuck,” He whimpered into her slit as he licked a long stripe from her entrance to her bug, revelling in the sharp gasp that escaped her throat. The moans and whimpers that left her only spurred Kaz on further, grasping her by the apex of her legs and tugging her body closer to his further. Tongue diving deeper, dark eyelashes fluttered shut as his hips rutted against the sheets below him; he found his own pleasure through worshipping his goddess. All the stress from the day languidly vanished, replaced by desire, a burning lust for his lover. From the moment he saw her in that white dress, Kaz knew he yearned for nothing more than to escape back to the Slat with her, to find peace between her thighs. His wish had been granted, by the Saints or perhaps the deity squirming under the work of his tongue. Bliss washed over the pair, both of them finding serenity within one another’s pleasure.

You can find my other Kaz (and other Grishaverse) writings in my Masterlist.

#serenity #kaz brekker #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker smut #freddy carter #freddy carter imagine #freddy carter smut #grishaverse #shadow and bone #six of crows #imagine #smut #angst #fic

435 notes · View notes

minasvalentine · 1 year

Text

SOMETHING‘S PURRING OH LORD

#kaz brekker #kaz brekker imagine #shadow and bone imagine #shadow and bone season 2 #freddy carter #kaz brekker smut #Daddy #spank my ass #shadow and bone #Series #smut #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic

773 notes · View notes

authorred · 1 year

Text

To Love Kaz Brekker | Kaz Brekker x fem!Reader | Shadow and Bone | Part 2

Masterlist

Preface: A botched solo mission leaves you injured and forced to kill to escape. You enter the Crow Club in a hurry and don’t talk to anyone. You isolate yourself in your room so you can fix yourself, but someone decides to make his presence known outside your door.

Kaz Brekker is a different kind of ‘love from a distance’ yk

Part 1 Part 3

Warning(s): Mild injuries, mentions of blood, description of injuries

Tags: Softcore pining, awkward interaction, losers in love

To love another is no easy feat. It takes patience and trust. Respect and compassion. To be able to wait for someone through a finite storm is an ability not everyone has, nor wants. But you have it. And you’ll wait through any severity of weather, even if there’s no promise of a rainbow at the end.

Hobbling to your room like a battered old woman, you made sure to cover yourself with a cloak you took off a merchant before your arrival. Jesper and Inej observe you skirt around the Crow Club, hugging the side walls before scurrying up to your room. The sharpshooter and wraith share a look before shrugging. They’ll check in on you later and they know better than to annoy a heartrender.

You shrug off your outer clothes and examine your wound through the shredded fabric of your shirt. Some shitbag nailed you right in the torso with a bullet. Luckily, he didn’t hit anywhere vital, but it still hurt, and you’re still bleeding. With a soft grunt you untie your shirt and carefully peel it away from your body. A clean entry wound presents itself at the front of your torso and you’ve no doubt the exit wound looks worse.

With a sigh, you carefully sit down on a chair, grunting lightly when you irritate the injury. Looking down at yourself, you carefully start to weave your tissue and muscles back together, face cringing lightly from the feeling. It didn’t hurt because you were blocking pain receptors, but it felt weird to your other nerves. The squirming and sewing-together of your insides felt equivalent to sliding your hand through a large trough of mucus-covered meat. You wanted to shiver but you couldn’t.

Sewing together your entrance wound took an agonizingly long time. If it was on someone else, you could’ve done it in ten minutes. Perhaps it was due to the fact there’s no rush; you’re safe in the Crow Club (hopefully). The real issue is trying to do the exit wound, which is almost directly behind you. You’ll need mirrors and very flexible shoulders.

Standing and shuffling around your room, you manage to assemble a doable set up--with a standing mirror behind you and a wall mirror in front of you. You adjust both to be able to see your exit wound--which is as gnarly as you thought. You sigh deeply and bring your arms behind your back, attempting twist your wrists so your palms are facing your body. You succeed, but it’s extremely uncomfortable, and you already hurt from being shot.

That’s when you hear it. A strong, steady heartbeat outside your room. No one announces themself--no one knocks--but they’re standing there. You know who it is. You know why they’re there.

“Kaz,” you call out. “People can suffer in silence, you know. You have to see them to know if they’re okay.” A few seconds pass and you know Kaz is thinking. You turn your head to the door when it slowly starts to creak open.

When Kaz opens the door enough to walk into your room, he immediately looks to the side when he sees you in undergarments. You can see him swallow nervously and his heart picks up speed a little.

You look back at your reflection. “You should be coming up with a new plan with Inej and Jesper. I didn’t fail, but I did alarm. And that’ll cause problems.”

“The planning can wait until you’re fixed.”

“I’m already halfway there.” Your wrists and hands flex uncomfortably when you move them, soft grunts leaving you. “I’ll be patched up by the time you’re done.”

Kaz sneaks a glance at you, eyes lingering on the wound you’re trying to patch up. Then his gaze moves to your arms and hands, which are in a specific position that makes you look like a demon’s possessed you. You’re succeeding; he can see your wound being manipulated and the hole getting smaller, but you’re struggling. Swallowing, he takes an unsteady step forward until he finds himself traipsing over to you.

You pause your heartrending when you see his reflection standing behind yours. You blink, then slowly turn your head to look at him. “What? You can’t help with this.”

He’s struggling to keep your gaze as it switches between your eyes and down at your arms. Picking up his cane to hold between his arm and side, he slowly reaches out to gently press his gloved hands against your arms.

Your brows scrunch when you’re trying to figure out what he’s doing. He’s not grabbing your arms, rather he’s supporting them. He’s taking tension from your shoulders.

You turn your head back around and continue to heartrend yourself, having an easier time than before. You’re painfully aware of his close proximity to you--you’re insanely aware of his physical contact as well. You can feel him shaking and you can hear his heart racing.

“You don’t have to do this,” you say quietly. “Your heart is racing. Please move away if you’re uncomfortable.”

“I’m fine,” his response is slightly forced and shaky. “Stop listening to my heart and focus on fixing yourself.”

You sigh softly and try your best to fix yourself as fast as you can. You cringe lightly when you reach a particularly painful part of your body where you didn’t block the pain receptors. You let out a strained grunt in response and you can see Kaz’s eyes look at you in concern from the mirror.

“I’m fine,” you quickly say. “It just hurt a little. I’m almost done.”

Kaz nods and looks back down at your hands and back, silent.

You’re done in two minutes and as soon as you are, you move away from him to keep him from being uncomfortable. You turn to him and smile softly. “You didn’t need to do that. I would’ve managed.”

Kaz places his cane back on the floor and leans on it. “You got done faster though, didn’t you?”

You stare at him for a moment before nodding. “I suppose I did. Thank you.”

Kaz attempts a small smile, but it’s almost indiscernible--it looks like a weird wince. “We meet at the bar in ten.” He turns and walks to the door. “Jesper and Inej are wondering if you’re okay.”

“Tell them I’m fine and I’ll be down in five.”

Kaz nods, not turning to look at you. He closes the door on his way out and you can hear his heartbeat move farther and farther from your room.

You notice how it’s faster than before.

You notice how yours is faster than his.

Ah, yes. To love Kaz Brekker is no easy feat.

563 notes · View notes

jahayla-parker · 6 months

Text

Hesitate : Freddy Carter x Reader

8.4k wc

Part of Love of a Lifetime Mini-Series

For full warnings and description, see mini-series masterlist

Freddy ran his hand down his face as he yawned. As he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, he slowly made his way to the master bathroom. He half-expected y/n to be in there, likely having just woken up herself. So, he was slightly surprised to see she’d seemingly woken up quite some time before; as he’d been on his phone in their bed for a bit upon first awakening and she wasn’t in the bathroom either.

Once he’d freshened up in the bathroom, Freddy ventured out to their living room. His calm and soft footsteps soon turned into frantic stomps against their wooden flooring upon hearing what sounded like y/n’s shaky breathing. He’d barely made it to the edge of the room before his heart seized in his chest as he saw her. Why was his fiancée in such a distressed state?!

Freddy’s worried eyes scanned y/n for any visible explanation for her state. She’d seemingly been pacing their living room while still in her wrinkled pajamas with her hair tousled. Only, Freddy could tell it wasn’t bed head, y/n had clearly been running her hands through her hair for awhile. Not wanting to scare her as she hadn’t shown any sign that she noticed his presence, Freddy cautiously walked over to where she was pacing.

As he crossed to the other side of their coffee table, Freddy moved to stand in front of y/n. He brought his hands up and gently wrapped them around her forearms as he tried to guide her into lowering her arms from her face and hands from her hair. The sight of y/n’s frazzled and teary eyes made Freddy’s hands shake slightly as he went to move them so he could direct her gaze towards him.

The violently rapid thumping in y/n’s chest slowed faintly as Freddy entered into her blurry vision. She blinked repeatedly as she tried to make sense of the situation. Her fiancé Freddy was still in bed, wasn’t he? The warmth of Freddy’s hands seeped into y/n’s clammy cheeks as his sapphire eyes pierced their way through the fog of her mind while she slowly came back to the present moment. “Y/n,” Freddy’s warm honey-coated voice cooed quietly into her ear. The sound cut through the noise in y/n’s head, helping her become fully present.

Freddy watched as y/n’s gaze slowly shifted into a less distant state. He silently waited for her to reacclimate herself to her surroundings. He easily detected the precise moment y/n realized he was standing in front of her, his hands cupping her face. It pleased Freddy to see her reconnect to reality instead of wherever her mind had been off spinning. Yet, it simultaneously pained him because as she did, she promptly let out a choked sob.

Y/n futilely tried to dry her face, pulling back from her fiancé’s loving embrace. She aggressively rubbed her inflamed cheeks with her clammy hands. She felt Freddy cautiously take hold of them as he lowered them from her face. God, she loved him. So much. But why did he have to see her in this state?! How long had she been spiraling into her internal turmoil? It had been the early hours of the morning when she’d crawled out of bed and ventured out here to isolate and not wake him up. Yet, he was here now and wide awake.

“D-di-did I wa-ake you?” Y/n asked, her voice dry. She swallowed thickly to stop the scratching and burning sensation in her throat. She stared at Freddy through her teary eyes, a deep sense of guilt storming inside her.

“No,” Freddy replied swiftly, shaking his head reassuringly. He tenderly shushed y/n as he stroked the backs of her hands. He could read the guilt in her eyes and was desperate to shut it down before she could spiral again.

“Okay,” y/n croaked. She wriggled her stuffy nose to keep from crying. “Good,” she murmured softly before pasting on a tiny fake smile.

Freddy effortlessly read through y/n’s attempts to act as if he’d not just walked in on whatever she was trying to work through on her own. “I wouldn’t have minded if you did, love,” he reminded her sweetly, stepping closer to shorten the distance between them. “In fact,” he continued, moving their intertwined hands to a more comfortable position in the lessened space between their chests. “I’d have preferred you to wake me up, instead of trying to hide whatever’s happening,” Freddy informed y/n as tenderly as he could.

Y/n hung her head instantly. “Sorry,” she whimpered. She unconsciously squeezed Freddy’s hands as her body tightened in response to her raging emotions.

Freddy frowned at y/n’s reaction. He sighed whisperingly. “It’s okay love, I’m just-,” he began, trying to reassure her that he hadn’t been offended.

Y/n quickly shook her head as she lifted her gaze up from the floor. She pulled her hands back from Freddy’s hold on them. She then shifted her arms so she could grip the hem of her clothes as her hands formed fists at her sides. “No, it’s not,” y/n argued angrily. “That’s just it. It’s not okay.”

“What?” Freddy questioned, his brows slightly furrowed in confusion. His eyes scanned y/n’s body language in search of an explanation as to what was going on. “What’s not okay?” He asked softly.

Y/n silently shook her head, unable to speak. Each attempt to breathe resulted in a rumbling in her chest. Her eyes watered more as she went back to staring off into space. She couldn’t do this right now. It was too much.

“Darling,” Freddy gasped faintly as he watched y/n’s distant gaze return. “Please talk to me,” he pleaded, reaching for her hands. “What-whatever’s happening, we’ll get through it, together.” “Just let me help, please,” Freddy begged as he took hold of y/n’s trembling hands.

“No, no, no,” y/n rambled quietly. “You shouldn’t have to!” She tore her hands back before running them down her face. “I’m, I’m,” y/n cried, “so sorry, Fr-Freddy. I-I-“.

Freddy gaped at his fiancée, shocked by her uncharacteristic behavior. “Woah, woah, woah,” he mumbled with wide eyes. “‘ey,” Freddy whispered as he tried to step closer to y/n. Only for her to step back, away from him; causing a foreign stabbing pain in his chest. “Okay,” he whispered slowly as he stepped back. Freddy wanted to make it clear he was accepting her choice to not have physical contact right now. He had to push down his desire to do more for her before he could get himself to step back further. He then walked backwards until he reached their lounge chair. The whole time, Freddy was watching y/n closely. Only once he was seated across the room from her, did he speak again. “I need you to talk to me.” Freddy took a deep breath as he forced himself to ignore the urge to rush over to her and hold her to his chest as she shook before him. “I can’t have you in this state and not know why,” he expressed kindly.

Y/n fanned herself with her hand in a pointless attempt to cool her flushed face. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she whimpered as she saw the concern covering Freddy’s face. The concern she caused.

Freddy quickly grimaced. He hated whatever was causing his dear fiancée to be so distressed. He shook his head, “you don’t need to apologize”. Freddy frowned as he watched y/n mindlessly pick at her skin. “Just tell me what is on your mind, darling”.

“I can’t though!” Y/n blurted loudly. The force of her voice startled herself slightly. She looked down and noticed she’d pinched her arm as she’d tensed. Not caring about the half-moon indents on her forearm, she continued her rambling. “See I’m not good at that!” Y/n pointed out defeatedly. “That’s just it!” She cried out, her voice sharp and fast.

Freddy squinted at y/n as he tried to read between the lines. “What do you mean?” He asked, hoping for further details as to what was troubling her. He was pleased to see that they were slowly getting somewhere. But, Freddy didn’t dare point that out to her in fear it might make her shut down again.

“I-“ y/n’s voice cracked as her mind argued with her over whether or not to confess the worries circulating in her mind. “Freddy-“ she sobbed as she forced herself to look over at him. The action resulted in her bursting into more tears. She quickly looked away as she began pulling on her hair. “I-… I can’t do this,” y/n whimpered.

Freddy gripped the armrests of the lounge chair. “Do what?” He wondered aloud. “Talk to me?” Freddy sighed lowly, “since when, love?”.

Y/n hiccuped loudly as she shook her head rapidly. “No, no, no, I-,” she dragged her hands down her damp face, leaving faint lines in her fingers’ path. “Fuck. I-…” y/n spoke, voice uneven and jagged. It took a tremendous amount of effort to make herself speak the words on her mind. And even when they did finally leave her mouth, they were so rushed she wasn’t sure it made any sense. “Ican’tmarryyoubecauseI’mnotenoughforyou,” y/n explained, the twisting grip-like sensation on her heart increasing. “ButIwanttomarryyousobadlyandIwanttobeenoughbutI’mnot,” she cried with defeat. She wanted to be, and she would always try to be, but y/n feared it wasn’t possible. No matter how hard she knew she’d try and no matter what she did or how worthy she became, she’d never truly be worthy enough for him. “ButIdon’twanttoloselyoueither and-I-“ y/n confessed, her guilt echoed in her tone.

Freddy blinked slowly as he tried to make sense of the fury of words that just left y/n’s mouth all within a matter of seconds. “Woah, slow down, start over, what?” He asked in a whisper. Try as he might, her response still hit him as an incoherent and slurred rush of words.

“No, damnit… “ y/n mumbled, mostly to herself. She felt her face grow even warmer as she battled with herself. Her facial features scrunched tightly together as she cried over the painful thoughts in her mind. “Neither…” y/n told herself quietly, “neither way feels right”. “Des-deservemoreand-” she gushed before her mind switched arguments, “loveyoumorethananything”.

Freddy sat frozen, uncertain how to approach the situation. He couldn’t make out half of what y/n was saying. He listened to her trailing off as she mumbled something about choices. Focusing on the only part he knew he’d heard correctly, Freddy decided to start there. “What doesn’t feel right?” Freddy asked worriedly.

Y/n couldn’t get herself to look at Freddy, her guilt feeling far too heavy. She tried to take a few shallow breaths as her whole body felt off. Before she could stop it, her knees buckled under her and she fell to the ground.

Freddy shot out of his chair to come to y/n’s aid. His frantic eyes roamed over her as he sprinted across the room. When she didn’t move away and just caved in on herself even more, he dropped down to her level.

Freddy felt like he was truly in the dark, he had no idea what was happening. All he knew was that y/n was deeply struggling and he hated to not know why nor how to help. Freddy did the only thing he could think of and wrapped his arms around his fiancée’s frame. He held her shaking body, slowly resting his head atop hers when she unconsciously leaned against him while crying.

Y/n noticed she couldn’t smell Freddy’s familiar scent due to the amount of snot she’d accumulated during her sobbing. Needing to feel more connected to him right now, she pressed herself into his chest needingly. She allowed herself a moment of comfort as Freddy’s hands rubbed her back and shoulders lovingly. Only, y/n’s relentless worries didn’t let the moment last long. “No, no, no,” y/n mumbled as she suddenly leaned back; away from Freddy. “I can’t le-let you,…“ she whispered in a broken tone. “You-you can’t keep doing this.”

Freddy squinted in confusion as y/n slid across the floor away from him. He stared into her widened eyes as he continued to search for understanding. “Do-doing what?” Freddy asked diplomatically.

“Treating me so ni-nice-ly,” y/n answered with a shake of her head.

Freddy feel a sickening sadness settle into his bones. Why did y/n want him to stop being nice to her? And why was it resulting in her current despair?

“I don’t… don’t.. I don’t, I don’t des-deserve… deserve it,” y/n stuttered, wiping the wet drop hanging off the tip of her nose.

Freddy gaped widely, in complete bewilderment and sadness. Y/n didn’t deserve for him to be nice to her? What was she talking about?! Y/n didn’t deserve to be feeling this way. She did deserve his kindness though. Hell, she deserves more than anything he could offer. Before Freddy could compose his thoughts enough to form a coherent response, he heard y/n resume her rambling.

“I - I can’t… c-can’t m-m-ma-“ y/n sobbed. She curled inwards on herself, her head tucked to her chest and calves tightly pinched against her thighs. “I c-can’t marry y-you,” y/n forced out. She pressed a hand against her lips as some bile rose in her mouth in response to the words.

Freddy’s face blanched instantly. “W-wh-what?” He stuttered, eyes burning. “You….” He breathed heavily as he fought against the new tears in his eyes. “Y-you don’t… you don’t want to marry me anymore?” Freddy asked, voice wavering in time with his panic.

Y/n peeked up at Freddy with one eye, unable to fully face the state of the man she loved hearing her sudden declaration. She shook her head aggressively. “I do- wan-want to-…” she promised, the guilt increasing the acid reflux she was facing. “Ijustcan’t. Not whenyoudeserevesomuchmore,” y/n gushed, “Iknowyouwillsayyoudon’tbutthatswhyIhaveto”. Hating herself and the hauntingly torturous thoughts in her mind, y/n sobbed and unconsciously scratched at her arms. “That’s what feels wrong. Either way feels wrong,” she rambled, her racing thoughts desperate to be spoken aloud for once. “Cause-“ y/n sobbed and tugged on the collar of her now-seemingly-tight shirt. “I -I…I…I- I w-wa-… I want to marry you,” she confessed, risking a glance up at Freddy as he sat patiently a few feet from her. “Bu-but-but…. I-I.. I c-can’t,” y/n sighed loudly, followed by a small strangled whimper.

Freddy calmed some upon hearing y/n reassure him that she wanted to marry him. But, he still couldn’t understand why she supposedly couldn’t marry him. Surely whatever the reason was, they could find a solution. Right? “Wh-why?” Freddy croaked. He cleared his throat and tried to slowly scoot across the floor towards her. “Darling, did… did I do something?” Freddy asked remorsefully.

“No! God, no!” Y/n exclaimed quickly, her wide eyes piercing into his confused ones. “Fuck, see!” she groaned, “This is why!”. She forcefully rubbed her face dry and shakingly pushed herself up from the floor.

Freddy instantaneously copied y/n’s movements. He neared her slightly in anticipation that he’d need to help keep her balance as she stood.

“I - I keep messing things up-“ y/n pointed out, staring at Freddy’s bare feet as he moved towards her.

Freddy frowned deeply, his forehead creasing in response. “Love, what’re you…” he sighed softly. “What happened?” Freddy inquired, still desperate for an explanation as to why she was suddenly so upset. He needed to know what was going on in her mind. Once he knew, he could help her.

“I can’t even speak right, I can’t can’t get my- my words out,” y/n complained. Ironically, she then interpreted herself with a different train of thought. “I…C-can’t offer, like the …umm,” she mumbled, “and you deserve-“.

Seeing that y/n was starting to ramble incoherent nonsense, Freddy sighed softly. “Darling,” Freddy spoke in a balanced tone as he cautiously stepped closer. He pleaded with his eyes for her not to back away. When Freddy saw y/n was complying with his unspoken request, he neared her the rest of way. Finally close enough to touch her again, he slowly brought his hands up until he cupped her face. Freddy stared into her dewy y/e/c eyes. “I need you to take a deep breath, please.”

Y/n nodded stiffly as she tried to breathe for Freddy. Her eyes darted around his face. The loving and compassionate nature of his gaze made her heart twist aggressively in her chest. “It doesn’t feel right,” she whimpered vaguely.

Freddy felt his heartbeat beating faster but forced himself to try to remain calm. “Marrying me doesn’t feel right?” He asked, voice strained. Yet, despite his fluttering voice and heart, his eyes were glued on y/N’s.

Y/n shook her head as she glanced away. “Y-you….” she whispered in a brittle voice. “I can’t- I can’t give you the wedding or the life you des-deserve and like I-,” y/n expressed, tears streaming steadily down her cheeks.

“Woah, woah, nuh-uh, pause for a moment, love,” Freddy rushed out frantically. He tilted y/N’s head until she was forced to look at him again. “What in the world are you going on about?” He huffed. “You’re ev-everything to me,” Freddy argued breathily.

Y/n trembled as she stared into Freddy’s far too sincere eyes. “That’s the problem. I -I can’t believe that you-you love me like you do,” she gushed with a whine. “You-you deserve to be-… you deserve someone who can give you everything and that’s… that’s not me”. Y/n grimaced as her voice cracked loudly during her statement.

Freddy stared, baffled over the situation. “Y/n, you’re not hearing me.” He tried to keep his voice comforting despite his determination to correct this train of thought quickly. “You are everything, love,” he whispered, fingers gently pressing into her cheeks over his need for her to understand. “Please, don’t-,” Freddy began softly.

Y/n yet again shook her head. “I-I…” she whimpered as she stepped back from Freddy’s hold. “I want more for you.”

The confession sent an aching pain through both of their hearts.

“Y/n-,” Freddy whined quietly as he moved closer.

“No,” y/n said in a voice that was somehow firm yet weak. The tone matched her conflicting viewpoints and emotions perfectly. “I-… Freddy,” y/n spoke lightly as she took a deep breath to compose herself enough to look at him. “I..I love you,” she cried, “so much but…”. “But…,” she shook her head again, but her gaze stayed on him. “I don’t-,” her voice cracked as she sniffled, “I don’t know how to do this.”

Freddy’s brows wriggled in confusion as his head tilted faintly to the left. “Do what?” He asked.

“Marriage,” y/n answered, “Freddy; marriage.” She blinked past the tears clouding her vision as she focused on Freddy’s loving gaze. “I don’t… I don’t know how to be a good wife or-,” she began nervously. She wasn’t even sure where to start explaining her incompetence.

“Oh, love,” Freddy cried out quietly. He shook his head as he neared y/n again. He promptly took hold of her frantically trembling hands. “I’m not looking for a good wife, whatever that even entails,” Freddy promised affectionately. “I’m just looking to spend the rest of my life with you,” he clarified devotedly.

Y/n’s lip shook as she willed herself to stop crying emotions to have a proper conversation. “I’m gonna-gonna mess it up,” she declared weakly, her saddened eyes stuck on Freddy’s comforting blue ones.

Freddy furrowed his brow slightly. He wordlessly pulled y/n’s fingers away from her palms before he ran his thumb over the now-irritated skin. His frown grew at the feeling of the crescent moon indents on her soft skin from having been clenching her fists so tightly. “Mess what up?” Freddy questioned calmly as his thumb continued to try to smooth out the skin on her palms.

Freddy barely heard the squeaked response y/n gave him. But, the weak, “us,” she offered in answer to his question still caused a small hitch in his breathing. Why was y/n so certain she would mess up their relationship? She’d always gone above and beyond for him and for them. Where was this coming from? Freddy knew she oftentimes felt like she wasn’t enough in a general sense. But, he didn’t know that applied to her feelings about their relationship as well. Was this new? Was it only now that he’d proposed marriage that she felt inadequate? Or had she always felt that way and he just never knew? Freddy sincerely hoped it wasn’t the later. Well, he hoped it wasn’t the case at all. But, if that wasn’t possible, he at least hoped it was a new feeling for her and that he could stop it immediately.

Freddy’s head tilted unconsciously as he gazed at his fiancée lovingly. He didn’t know how to shut this down, but he needed to. She deserved to know that whatever had her thinking this was false. In order to get to the bottom of it, Freddy decided to ask for clarification. “What do you mean? Why do you say that, darling?”

“Cause I… “ y/n trailed off. She freed one of her hands and ran it down her face as she worked to stay calm. She nearly lost her composure again when Freddy took her hand back and kissed the backside of it supportively. Y/n focused on his encouraging stare, using it as a tether to some semblance of strength. “I- I don’t have-have-,” she mumbled, voice shaking profusely.

Freddy saw how much y/n was still trembling. He also heard the way her voice kept cracking and how shallow her breathing was. He frowned. “Hold on,” Freddy cooed, guiding y/n over to their couch. Once they’d reached the edge of the sofa, he silently signaled for her to sit with him. Freddy smiled lightly, pleased when y/n did so without hesitation. He reached one hand let to her head and slowly brushed some disheveled hair away from her sweaty forehead. Freddy leaned over and pressed his lips against her forehead silently. His lips easily tasted the saltiness of her skin, bringing him back to the matter at hand. “I’m going to get you some water, then we’ll keep talking this out, okay?” Freddy asked rhetorically as he stood up to make his way to their kitchen.

Y/n watched her fiancé as he stood above her at the edge of the couch. Her tears fell silently at the loving look he was giving her despite what she was them through right now. She took a shaky breath as Freddy wordlessly dried her tears with a look of understanding and deep empathy. Y/n nodded her head that he could do what he felt he needed to do, knowing it was the least she could offer him.

After Freddy had forced Y/n to sip on some water, he took the glass back from her and set it on the coffee table beside them. “Alright,” he whispered, intertwining their hands. “Now, darling, what’s going on?” Freddy questioned vaguely, letting her guide the conversation.

Y/n bit her lip as she tried to form a coherent answer. “I don’t…,” she sighed, “Freddy…”. Y/n squeezed his hand tightly for support. “I don’t have… I’ve never had.. umm a… I grew up in a… in a broken….”. Y/n puffed her cheeks in frustration as she groaned. “I don’t know what a good-….”. She nearly became overwhelmed with frustration towards herself until she felt Freddy lovingly squeezing her hand. She knew it was him patiently signaling for her to take her time finding the right words. Using his advice, y/n finally found the words she needed to express her worry. “I’ve never had an example of a healthy marriage”.

Freddy hummed in realization. He knew about y/n’s upbringing, of course. But, not once had he ever considered it to be problematic when it came to their own relationship. Yet, Freddy could understand why she might feel apprehensive about the whole ordeal given what she’d been through and witnessed.

“I don’t know what… what that looks like,” y/n admitted bashfully. “Or… err… uh., how to do that. Every, every marriage I’ve seen has either ended in divorce or a toxic relationship people just stuck with.” She frowned as a stray tear escaped her eye despite her best efforts to keep them at bay. “And-… I… I don’t want that for us, for you,” y/n expressed remorsefully.

Freddy quickly squeezed both of her hands lovingly. “It won’t be,” he vowed affectionately. He noticed y/n was about to protest his declaration. “I know, you’re going to say I can’t possibly know that, but..” Freddy paused to gaze into her blissfully familiar eyes. “Darling, I know us. We can, and have, worked through anything; we just have to talk, love.”

Y/n sniffled and slowly broke eye contact with Freddy. She hung her head in shame. “I’m not good at that,” she whimpered. “Clearly,” she added humorlessly as she waved her hand around.

Freddy stopped y/n’s flailing hand, holding it tighter to him. “You’re doing it, love,” he pointed out diplomatically. “I know it’s not easy, but you’re still doing it. We just have to get you to remember that you don’t have to hide things from me,” Freddy explained, formulating a plan to best address these issues. “Even if you’re worried it’ll upset me. As, I’d rather we face it together,” he told her tenderly.

Y/n sniffled. “You shouldn’t have to remind me of that-,” she sighed.

Freddy frowned and shook his head. “Y/n no,” he corrected gently, “don’t do that.” He brought their hands up to his lips, placing a faint kiss to her knuckles. “You’ve been though a lot in your life, honey,-“.

“That doesn’t make it okay, Freddy,” y/n declared with a huff. “You deserve someone healed, and-“.

Freddy’s forehead creased as his gaze narrowed ever so slightly in response. “No, no, no,” he said cutting y/n off. “I’m not going to have you decide that for me.” Freddy took a deep breath and relaxed his facial muscles. “Respectfully.” He tilted y/n’s head up until her gaze met his. “Darling, you are the strongest, most resilient, and kindest person. With the most beautiful soul and heart. You’re not broken.” Freddy gave her a small smile as she maintained eye contact with him. “And even if you were, that wouldn’t stop me from loving you. I know you’re scared, but please, don’t push me away because you think I want or deserve anyone but you, because I don’t”.

Y/n ignored the inherent urge to keep a wall up. Instead, she let her sobs escape her lips as she practically threw herself into Freddy’s awaiting arms. “I’m sorry I’m being so difficult,” y/n apologized, clutching onto Freddy like a lifeline. Which, to her, he was. Her mind had almost convinced her that she knew better than him what was right for him and that it wasn’t her. She’d been willing to give him up for his own sake even though the thought alone nearly destroyed her. Freddy had pulled her out.

“You’re not difficult, you’re real,” Freddy amended lovingly. “And I appreciate you being honest with me,” he pointed out, holding y/n to tightly. "I love you, that means I'm not just here for the pretty parts. I'm here no matter what.”

After sitting in Freddy’s embrace for a few healing moments, y/n spoke up. “I still don’t know how to- to umm- …my parents, well you know…” she trailed off. “And sure, my grandparents stayed together, but you saw how things were, and…” her sniffle broke up her rambling thoughts briefly, “even my aunts and uncles and- I just-…”.

“I can imagine how that might make you doubt marriage,” Freddy acknowledged. He ran his hand up and down y/N’s back slowly. “But, love, I promise-“.

“No Freddy,” y/n interrupted, leaning back. “I know it can work. Your parents made it work,” she said with small smile; one Freddy shared back. “And your grandparents, and h/f/n, and-… anyways, but it’s just I didn’t grow up with that… example to lead me”. Y/n bashfully bit into her bottom lip as she awaited Freddy’s response.

“Darling, I’m not worried about you not having had an example,” Freddy assured y/n simply. “Each relationship is different,” he reminded her. He used his thumb to gently pull y/n’s bottom lip free from the entrapment of her teeth.

“But… I don’t know that… that I have… that I have what it takes to-“ y/n expressed nervously.

Freddy quickly but lovingly shushed y/n; promptly stopping that thought from taking hold. “That’s not true.” He kept ahold of one of her hands but moved his other hand to her cheek. “This relationship is ours, and all it takes is us, you and me,” Freddy declared passionately.

Y/n snuggled into Freddy’s chest. “Okay,” she whispered lovingly. She gave him a small nod before nuzzling her head further into his torso. “You and me,” y/n agreed softly as she peered up at him.

Freddy grinned and nodded back. “You and me,” he echoed in a delicate whisper. “What else is on your mind?” He asked after a few seconds. “You said something about the wedding itself?”

Freddy watched as y/n flickered her eyes away instantly, making his worry return. He felt her nod her head faintly as she started playing with her hands resting in her lap. Freddy squeezed her hands and smiled softly at her when she looked up in response to the gesture.

Y/n took a visibly deep breath. “I… I can’t give you a tra-traditional wedding …” she trailed off solemnly.

Freddy squinted at y/n, his lips pursed slightly. “Darling what are you-“ he began to ask, confused once again.

“The whole… bride giving away thing, the father walking-…” y/n mumbled as she stared at their interlaced hands.

Freddy’s lips parted and he sucked in a breath before responding. “You’re worried I’m going to be let down by you not having your father walk you down the aisle?” he asked seeking confirmation. He watched patiently as y/n sucked in her bottom lip and nodded.

Freddy sighed, letting go of one of y/n’s hands. He then brought that hand up to cup her face and tilt her chin upwards and eyes towards him. “Love,” he cooed, “I couldn’t care less about that.” Freddy’s thumb traced her cheekbone tenderly. “In fact,” he paused briefly, “I’m sorry it’s for the reason that it is… But, I’m actually glad you’re not going to have him walk you down the aisle”.

“Y-you are?” Y/n questioned, tilting her head backwards further to see Freddy better.

“Y/n, I know what he did to you and what he didn’t do for you,” Freddy reminded her gently as he shook his head. “And, I know how he makes you feel. I don’t want him anywhere near you.” He let out a soft sigh as he continued stroking her face. “I respect you enough to let you choose if you’ll ever resume having contact with him again, and if you had for any reason really wanted him to be there, and or to escort you down the aisle, that would be your choice.” Freddy pushed down the anger he felt over even thinking about her father and what y/n had been subjected to because of him. “But,” he shook his head, “like I said, I don’t care to have him anywhere near you.” Freddy leaned forward and placed a faint kiss to y/n’s forehead. “I know he’s your father, but you and I both know that doesn’t mean anything. He doesn’t deserve to be there.” He sighed quietly as he pulled back to gaze into her surprised eyes. “You deserve to have the chance to have someone walk you down the aisle if you wanted that, and I’m sorry that you were put in this situation where you had to decide if it was worth it. But, I more than support you not inviting him,” Freddy promised.

Y/n blinked rapidly as she studied Freddy’s eyes. She could see the sincerity in them easily. But she still felt uncertain. “Really?” Y/n asked quietly.

“Yes, really,” Freddy nodded. “Y/n, I’m on your team always,” he vowed, “especially when it comes to things with him. I always have been, darling”. Freddy delicately dried the few tears that trailed down y/n’s cheeks.

Y/n smiled softly in appreciation. “I - I know,” she admitted, always having felt his support on the matter, “and I really really appreciate th-that.” “I just,” she sniffled, “I wasn’t sure how disappointed you’d be to marry someone who…” Y/n paused as she worked to find the proper words for her concern. “-had to break, or err… not follow that tradition,” she concluded.

Freddy moved his thumb back to the side of y/n’s cheek as he went back to cupping her face. “My darling, we’ll make our own traditions.” He smiled tenderly at her. “I don’t need anything more than you,” Freddy promised warmly. “If you wanted to skip all of it and get married at the city hall, we could. I’d love a wedding, sure, but I just need to be with you. I just want to be your husband.”

Y/n’s tense body visibly melted in relief over Freddy’s declaration. “I love- love y-you,” her voice cracked, tears forming in her eyes for a different reason this time.

“I love you too,” Freddy murmured. He closed his eyes and kissed her forehead. “Is there anything else you worried about?” He asked, wanting to address any lingering concerns she may have.

“Ummm…” y/n mumbled. She hated that there were still worries she had. Freddy had worked so hard to calm her down and yet she couldn’t fully relax yet. “I-it’s just…uhhh..,” her frail voice trailed off with guilt.

Freddy read the guilt in her tone and hummed softly. “It’s okay,” he encouraged, tapping her cheek. “What is it?”

“I can’t- I can’t help but think about how my family isn’t con-contributing as much for the wedding, like your mom has already gone out and-“ y/n expressed. Her voice raised slightly as her nerves took control.

“‘’ey, ‘ey, ‘ey, I don’t mind,” Freddy promised. “Neither does my mum, nor the rest of my family.” “The rest of our family,” he amended. “They love you and already see you as a daughter. They’re not mad, or upset, or whatever else your mind is trying to make you believe,” Freddy reasoned. He chuckled lightly, “my mum is insanely thrilled to be helping, love”. Freddy lowered his hand back down to grab y/n’s free hand. After slowly uncurling her fingers, he brought her hand to his lips, “please, don’t worry about that”.

Y/n silently scanned Freddy’s deep blue eyes. “Really?” She asked, trying not to flinch at the fact she’d asked that question a million times today. When Freddy nodded in confirmation, she let out a sigh of relief. “Okay,” she replied quietly, her shoulders lowering in relief.

Freddy rubbed y/N’s hands as he gazed into her eyes in silence for a few moments. He tilted his head slightly and pressed his lips into a flat line. “I can still see a linger of doubt in those y/e/c eyes,” Freddy announced.

Y/n shook her head rapidly to reassure him. She wasn’t doubting him or them. That’s not what any of this was. She wasn’t even doubting herself per se. She was simply feeling inadequate in her ability to meet the level of wife she felt Freddy deserved. “It’s not doubt,” she explained, pleased when Freddy nodded with an expression that told her he understood her wording. “It’s a fact,” y/n murmured when he didn’t let her off the hook so easily.

“And that is?” Freddy asked, pulling both of her hands to his lap. He watched her patiently as he fiddled with her soft hands.

Y/n bit into her bottom lip and sighed. She knew she was going to say something Freddy didn’t want to hear. And she wished she didn’t feel this way. That she could just accept what Freddy told her. But, she couldn’t. Not yet. Not when she cared so strongly for him that it felt wrong to deny him more. “That you deserve more,” she said, her voice sounding distant even to herself.

Freddy’s chest tightened briefly as he watched the love of his life still struggle to comprehend just how worthy she was. He knew her past was to blame, but he wished she didn’t have to feel like this. She was everything to him and no one could ever outdo her; despite her evident opinions and worries of the contrary.

“I want you,” Freddy said firmly but with deep warmth. “None of the things you’ve mentioned bother me, my darling,” he promised. “Even if something happens that neither one of us predicted or expected, I’d still want to be with you. I don’t want to face anything without you.” Freddy squeezed her hands tightly. “Good or bad.”

Y/n sniffled loudly as she stared up at him. She cautiously pulled her hands back before reaching over for a pillow. Y/n cradled the pillow tightly to her chest as her body started to shake again. She gave Freddy a shaky nod, her head barely peeking out above the top of the pillow pressed against her.

Freddy’s left corner of his lips curled up slightly at the sight before him. He could see the way y/n’s eyes were teary but held warmth instead of fear in them. “Can I give you a hug?” Freddy asked, eyeing the pillow blocking his ability to hold and comfort her.

“Yes please,” y/n cried out. She quickly slid the pillow across her body and back onto the couch. Y/n promptly buried her face in Freddy’s neck as he closed the distance between them. She hummed unconsciously as she felt his strong arms holding onto her tightly.

“Even if there were a line of people just like you before me offering everything your mind is trying to convince you that you’re unable to give me, I’d say no,” Freddy whispered, his lips pressed to the back of y/N’s head right behind her right ear. “I only want you, Y/f/n y/m/n y/l/n,” he vowed, squeezing her as he cradled her in his arms.

“I want you too Freddy,” y/n spoke as she wrapped her arms around Freddy’s back. “I swear, I do.” She clutched his shirt material in her fists as she tried to hold him impossibly closer. “I..I…I-I need you to-to know,” y/n declared, her voice cracking with fear, “I’m… I’m not saying I don’t love you or that I don’t want to marry you, ca-cause I do!” She sniffled loudly as she tried to keep her composure. “I-in fact, it’s because I do that-“.

Freddy smiled softly, nuzzling his head into y/n’s shoulder. “I know,” he promised affectionately.

“I’m sorry for going about it like this,” y/n sighed, her voice slowly lowering back to its normal register. “And.. for… having these insecurities- I’d understand if you changed-“ she rambled nervously.

“Y/n,” Freddy spoke, one hand cradling the back of her head, the other on her lower back. “This doesn’t change my opinion of you,” he promised, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“It doesn’t?” Y/n’s soft voice asked, muffled faintly by Freddy’s chest.

“No,” Freddy attested. “But, it does make me see that we have things to talk about,” he told y/n calmly, “because I understand you’re worried, but I don’t want you to ever fear those things having any impact on me or us”.

“It’s not your fault,” y/n sighed, needlessly pulling Freddy closer.

“I know,” Freddy reassured y/n. “But, that doesn’t mean I can’t be there to help you through it.” He let the hand on the back of y/n’s head play with her hair. “If you’ll let me?” Freddy requested tenderly.

Y/n nodded her head rapidly. “P-please,” she begged. Freddy was far better at silencing the tormenting voices in her mind than she was. “I - I don’t want to lose you, but I also want what’s b-best for you,” y/n explained.

“You’re not going to lose me, darling,” Freddy vowed, eyes closed as he focused on the feeling of having y/n in his arms. “And you are what’s best for me. I’ll show you; erase any doubt. It’ll take time, but we’ll get there,” he determined.

“Thank- thank you,” y/n said as she cleared her throat. “You don’t have to do this, but I really-,” she began, pressing a kiss to the shirt covering Freddy’s chest.

“I want to,” Freddy cut y/n off, tugging her impossibly closer.

“It’s not overwhelming, or frustrating, or-?” Y/n wondered.

Freddy shook his head. “No. It just means you need me right now,” he hummed, pressing a kiss to her head. “And, I’m honored to be needed and we’ll get to where you don’t ever doubt these feelings I have towards you, to a point where you can see how you deserve these feelings and sentiments,” Freddy declared confidently.

The couple sat in peaceful silence for quite some time, simply enjoying each other’s presence and physical affection. They shared tender squeezes and delicate kisses as they snuggled together on the couch.

Freddy slowly lifted his head off y/n’s as he leaned his chest back against the couch in order to see her. “Y/n,” he spoke, his voice quietly breaking through the silence. “I do have one thing I want to be sure of,” Freddy admitted, running his hand through her hair.

“Okay,” y/n replied warmly, lifting her head off Freddy’s chest. She smiled at him and nodded her head, “of course”.

“If it makes you more comfortable,” Freddy began cautiously. He didn’t want y/n to think he was changing his mind. But he wanted to know she was comfortable with where things were going. “I’d be fine being your boyfriend for the rest of our lives,” he proposed, “if that’s easier or more comfortable for you.” Freddy brushed some hair from y/n’s forehead tenderly. “I just want to be with you, be someone to you.”

Y/n forcefully shook her head no. “I- I do want to marry you!” She pressed her palms against Freddy’s chest softly. “I’m so sorry I made you think otherwise, I-“.

Freddy took hold of y/‘N’s hands from his chest and pulled her closer. “You didn’t y/n, -“ he argued warmly.

“Yes I did,” y/n protested with a frown. “Otherwise you wouldn’t be saying that,” she sighed. She curled her fingers around Freddy’s and squeezed. “My stupid.. my rambling got-“ y/n mumbled.

“Y/n, darling,” Freddy cooed. He leaned his forehead against y/n’s and smiled softly. “I don’t doubt your love for me,” he reassured her. “If anything, it’s somehow even more clear now than it’s ever been. And I didn’t think that was possible, darling”. Freddy felt his cheeks flush as his grin grew at the thought. He lifted his right hand up to cradle y/n’s face. “The fact that you’d worry about these things to the point of-“ Freddy intentionally trailed off, not wanting to bring up the specifics now that they’d been addressed already. “I know you love me so much.” He rubbed his nose against y/n’s as he gazed lovingly into her eyes. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have asked you to marry me,” Freddy commented lightly. “I just want to make sure we take things at the right pace, something that’s comfortable for you.”

“We are,” y/n said as she nodded. “I do want to marry you, I always have,” she vowed. She wrapped her hand around the back of Freddy’s neck as she pressed her forehead against his more. “It was just that I wanted to make sure I was the best option for you,” y/n clarified.

Freddy smiled and nodded his head against y/n’s slowly. “Well, since that’s truly all you were worried about, I assure you,” he whispered, nose rubbing against hers tenderly. “You’ve got nothing to worry about, darling. I couldn’t be happier with my choice. I know I was fortunate enough to manage to secure the best option, period”.

Y/n blinked quickly. “I swear- I-…” she mumured lovingly as she peered into his beautiful deep blue eyes. “It..it feels like - like I’m dreaming or something,” she confessed fondly. “I just… I never thought I’d have someone who just… gets me the way you do, and-“ y/n rambled blissfully, looking away as her eyes watered.

“You aren’t dreaming,” Freddy promised, his thumb hooking under y/N’s chin. “Look at me, love,” he pleaded, helping her guide her gaze back up to him. “This is real,” he swore, cupping both sides of her face, “we’re real”.

Freddy placed a featherlight kiss on the back of y/N’s exposed shoulder as he unclipped her necklace. He carefully set it on their dresser, admiring her through the mirror. He blushed as y/n caught him staring, her eyes flickering open as his lips left her skin. He hid his face in her shoulder making her giggle. “Hair up?” Freddy mumured bashfully as he lifted up a scrunchie from the top of the dresser.

Y/n nodded and smiled at Freddy through the reflection in the mirror. She breathed calmly as his tender fingers delicately gathered her hair behind her. Her eyes trailed over his reflection as she visually worshiped the amazing man she was able to call her fiancé.

Freddy’s blush deepened as he caught sight of the way y/n was looking at him in the mirror. He never doubted her love for him, even when she expressed her worries earlier today. But, even if he had, the look on her face right now would’ve removed any trace of doubt. He smiled giddily as he finished securing her hair atop of her head.

“Ring on or off, darling?” Freddy questioned, sliding his hands down y/n’s sides. He lifted her left hand off the dresser top, thumb rubbing along the palm side of her ring finger.

Y/n spun around abruptly. “On!” She rushed out, rapidly taking her hand back. She clutched her ring and ring finger to her chest, almost in a panic again. “On,” y/n repeated.

“Darling girl,” Freddy whispered calmly. “I’m not going to take it away from you,” he said with a soft shake of his head. “I was just going to set it on the nightstand for the evening, it’s not safe to sleep with it on every night,” Freddy explained, smiling down at her. He crooked his head and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “But it’s alright, you can sleep in it tonight if you wish, either way, it’s yours; forever”.

Y/n grinned in relief and nodded. She slowly let go of her own wrist before reaching for his hand. “Did you want to change your shirt?” She asked, noticing the material probably wouldn’t be the coziest to sleep in. When he nodded with a sweet smile, she nodded and smiled back as she spun to grab a new top for him.

Freddy slid closer to y/n in their bed. He held onto her left hand and gave it a tender squeeze. With a soft hum, he lifted their interlaced hands up to his lips. Freddy pressed a long lingering kiss to y/n’s engagement ring before curling into her body.

Y/n hummed in response, wrapping her arms and legs around Freddy tightly. She buried herself into his embrace, smiling against his chest as she sighed peacefully.

“You have cold feet,” Freddy mentioned in a hushed voice. He instantly hooked his legs around y/n’s to bring her feet closer to them.

“No!” Y/n panicked, her wide eyes staring up at Freddy worriedly. “It wasn’t that, and I’m okay now,” she promised. Both of her hands cupped Freddy’s flushed cheeks lovingly as she gazed affectionately into his bright blue eyes.

Freddy’s cheeks flushed crimson as he chuckled lightly. “I meant your literal feet,” he explained tenderly, “darling”. He craned his neck to press a soft kiss to y/N’s nose as he began to rub his feet against her cold ones.

“Oh,” y/n giggled with a bashful grin. She blissfully snuggled back into Freddy’s embrace. While letting her eyes flicker up to his face, she kissed his collarbone.

“Want me to get you some slippers?“ Freddy offered, pushing some loose strands of hair back from y/n’s neck. He smiled to himself as y/n silently shook her head no before tucking her feet under his legs. Freddy hummed and used his feet to wrap the blanket under both of their legs to aid his attempts to warm her feet.

With their legs and feet intertwined, y/n slowly slid herself up on Freddy’s chest. She grinned as his arms slid back around her reflexively. She cupped his face as she stared intently into his eyes.

“Thank you Freddy,” y/n states with an audible intensity to the purpose of her words. She noticed he was about to argue that she didn’t need to thank him so she softly shook her head to stop him. “Thank you,” she repeated, locking her gaze with his. She let her eyes flutter shut before she leaned in and gave him a deep passionate kiss. “I am honored, and cannot wait, to become your wife,” y/n informed him as their lips parted.

Freddy grinned widely, his cheeks flushed cherry red. He bit his bottom lip briefly before he pulled y/n in for another kiss. “The honor is mine,” Freddy stated after the needy kiss.

Taglist: @ell0ra-br3kk3r @missdreamofendless @nikfigueiredo @b3kk3r-by-br3kk3r @alex-kazbrekkersimp @opheliaofficial07 @historynerd77 @el-de-phi @whistle1whistle

Freddy Carter Navigation

Kaz Brekker Navigation

My Main Masterlist (All My Works) Navigation

70 notes · View notes

futurecorps3 · 1 year

Note

Hello my love! I have heard your call for Kaz requests and I have an idea rattling around in my head!

Could you maybe do a Kaz x fem!Reader where they're in their early 20s and have been together for years and overcome Kaz's touch aversion (bc our poor boy deserves some healing 😭)? But that's not the idea, the idea is that the reader hasn't been sleeping for a few nights and ends up getting hurt because of it? Could be from fainting and hitting her head, slow reflexes on a job, etc. I trust your brilliant mind!

I can't wait to watch you grow as a writer!!!! ❤️

𝐒𝐨𝐦𝐧𝐮𝐦

Masterlist<3

Summary: The lack of sleep Kaz has been warning his girl about finally has consequences. Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem!reader Warnings: Mentions of overwoking, lack of sleep, blood, a very angsty moody angry sad Kazzle, mentions of blood and lost of conscience. The usual crow violence! Lmk if I missed any. Word Count: 3.5K whoops Requested: Yes

A/N: IM SORRY THIS TOOK SO LONG! :( I love the prompt, however and am very excited to work on this. Hope u like it nonnie and that last thing means the absolute world! <3

˚ · • . ° .

Now he knew he was in no position to demand her to rest. Kaz Brekker was known in his close circle for two things; killing whoever disrespected his love and always scheming. The electricity his brain consumed when plotting the next heist didn't even allow him to sleep when being tucked in with Y/N laying over his chest. But she never had the same issue before!

That's how it worked. She got mad because he wasn't sleeping and would reproach his ears off until he folded and left his papers to join her in bed. So, it was safe to say Kaz was startled when he noticed the absence of steps approaching his office. The clock read the time to be a quarter past midnight. He learned by endlessly scolding from you the hard way it was no use staying up late for a job when he had pretty much everything prepared, so he dropped everything and left to his room.

"Darling, are you-" his question was answered as he opened the door and saw her drawing on the little desk he got for her. "Hmm, hi love. It's quite early. What are you doing here?" Kaz wanted to laugh at that. Had she really lost notion of time that badly? "It's past midnight now, Y/N. What are you working on?" His shirt was discarded in some chair, along with his coat.

He was now in his dress pants and a black sleep blouse, leaning over the back of her chair to see the canvas. It was a picture of the sea, surely an image she hadn't been able to get out of her head after the quick trip you took to the docks with Wylan to ensure a better hiding spot, in case things went south on Saturday.

"I don't know if I'm getting the blues right... you know how it somehow turns gray when the day's rainy?" she wondered out loud. "Don't throw it away altogether, I know you're already thinking about it" "I'm not!" Y/N giggled, knowing fully her boyfriend could read her mind. "Fix it in the morning. Let's go to bed now, yes?" Kaz tried, tilting his head to her right side and nudging his nose a little on her cheek as she hummed in response.

It had taken a long time, many years, to reach these moments. Years of hoping she could one day have his arms draped around her waist in security, head on his chest without a care in the world, because all that really mattered was they'd be keeping each other warm with their bodies. Y/N was patient, not minding the baby-steps and Kaz's constant need to push her away because he thought she deserved better. Truth is, there was no one better for her.

Kaz had a hard time wrapping his head around this fact. Did you love him for him? A limping criminal who was too weak to even bear the thought of embracing you when tears streamed down your cheeks on a specially tough day? Why? It took convincing, long talks, difficult moments and even worse fights... but you made it.

She felt his steady heartbeat as they lay together in their silk black sheets, indulging in the beauty of it. Their breathings became one, and she swore there was no better place the saints could come up with as heaven. "Everything's ready?" "Yes, I figured I should come here with you instead of overthinking it all. I'll tell everyone the plan tomorrow and revise it again the day before" he took a deep breath, turning to face her and leaving a soft kiss on her lips.

"It's late, you don't seem tired" Kaz noted, Y/N's eyes nowhere near closing as they usually would by now. Her boyfriend, on the contrary, was starting to hide that beautiful icy green his irises held, then came a yawn to confirm his fatigue. "Rest, my love. I'm sure I'm not too far behind," she assured him, pecking his head as he lay on her chest now.

"Goodnight, Kaz".

˚ · • . ° .

It may as well have been minutes, or hours, days, for all she cared to reason. All she knew was that she couldn't sleep for the life of her. Kaz moved a lot in his sleep and after he lost hold of her, the night became a non-stop tossing and turning in their shared bed. She could hear the faint sound of carriages passing down their street, surely carrying some rich merchant who just had the night of his life betting or in one of the pleasure houses.

It had been a while since she felt this way. Pretty much every night prior Kaz offered her a permanent position on the crows after she worked with them was like this. The clock in their room, hanging on a wall distant from her, kept ticking and if it got quiet enough, she could've been able to hear the gears turning. Three in the bloody morning and Y/N had luckily gotten by far twenty minutes of sleep. The girl sighed and lay down again, looking up at the ceiling briefly before closing her eyes in hopes of resting a little more.

She didn't, not even in the days ahead. Kaz pointed out how he could feel her moving way more than usual as his a light sleeper, not blaming her whatsoever but more concerned as to what was keeping her up. Y/N didn't know either, so she figured solving it with Jesper's coffee and quick (very ineffective) naps on the couches and tables at the slat so she could at least be aware of the task at hand; the job.

The day came, and she felt very optimistic about it all. Truth is, Y/N loved dressing up with pretty dresses and daggers hidden around her thighs. She found some kind of satisfaction in keeping this knowledge to herself, the men and women throwing looks at her, completely unaware of how dangerous she happened to be. People on the streets knew her as the wild child... ruthlessly gorgeous, is what Kaz called her.

The girl had a habit of getting carried away in a fight. Too much anger and resentment for the past had to find an exit. It did when she killed, leaving a scared Jesper to deal with an even more scared Wylan who wouldn't dare look her in the eye for weeks after she kept on punching a man's face she saw was trying to kidnap a little girl right after a job years ago. Kaz helped and understood.

His revenge was calculating and took years in which she was by her side, but Y/N just couldn't help herself when it came down to the people who did unspeakable things to her. With the years, she got a hold of herself even though her nickname on the barrel stuck, adding "the crow queen" when word got around she was Brekker's girl. Now, she was still ruthless but way more cold-headed and grounded, Kaz's doing.

She wore a pink dress with embroidered roses around the floaty sleeves. Inej had a blue set of dress pants and shirt, long-sleeved as well as Nina sported a hot red strapless dress with a lot of cleavage. "We're a smoke show! Those fuckers will barely be able to keep their eyes off of us." The last one squealed, adjusting her hair "That's the point" Inej giggled, agreeing clearly as she looked at herself in the mirror.

Y/N laughed at the thought and her head pained a little; Girls on those big houses did the very same thing they were doing now, with very different intentions. Those ladies wanted to find a rich husband, and they'd be set. Her friends were dressed to kill, and so was she. A little fucked up version of a cliché she, too, wished to live when she was little. "I hope these sleeves aren't an issue" she wondered, picturing them getting stuck on their knife or maybe being too tight to throw a punch.

"It's a simple job, love. There's nothing to be worried about! Also, I can bet on my life Kaz is going to be drooling over you when he sees." Nina smiled, playfully smacking her shoulder. "Even more so if you fight in that, he's going to go insane" spoke the Suli girl with a giggle "Kinky" the heartrender added, making the girlfriends break in a fit of laughter. Nina was right, Y/N knew, but decided against confirming her friend's assumptions.

Her eyes felt droopy from the obvious lack of sleep but nothing a cup of coffee couldn't fix, right? She walked down the stairs and into the makeshift kitchen they owned, heating up some. The smell filled her body with pleasant chills, and suddenly some more energy invaded her. "Wacha got there?" asked Wylan, who was quietly sitting behind her. How long had he been there? How did she not notice?

"Coffee, want some?" "Right before a job?" "Yes, I haven't been sleeping too well the last couple of days". Certain zemeni voice erupted from outside the room, exclaiming a brief "Neither have us!" that had the merchling blushing like he got some contagious disease. Y/N delivered a pat on his back, and coffee in hand she exited the room.

Kaz gathered everyone in the living room, to revise the plan once more. "...so make sure you cover that corn-" He stopped mid-sentence when Y/N came into view. Her hair looked polished, but she could be bald for all he cared. The dress complimented her figure beautifully, adjusting in the right places, which to Kaz was any place, really. Inej and Nina giggled and high fived. "Go on, love." She smiled, ready to listen attentively at his plan even though he made sure to walk her through it personally a few hours ago.

As Y/N brushed next to him, he grabbed her hand to make her stop right before she got seated. "You're stunning. Is it comfortable?" he whispered, looking at her with a certain glow in his eyes he once thought lost. "Yes, dear. Thank you" she pecked her boy's cheek and took a seat behind him. He went on with the plan, and everyone seemed pretty much ready to leave.

So they did.

˚ · • . ° .

"Darling, watch out!" Jesper exclaimed, shooting at a man behind Y/N. Things went south, they did. In the hiding spot Wylan and the girl had settled; some dreg must've ratted, they guessed. An ambush from some new-forming band trying to get known by stealing from The Crows themselves, pathetic. Inej had gotten there to help, but Y/N and Jesper insisted she went back and warned the others so to spare them from possible damage.

The wild child and Jesper were a great team, who knew a durast and an avid fighter could take down men three times their size and weight? They proved on many occasions to be useful for situations as these, so there was no problem. They'd be out of there in the blink of an eye. Around ten people had arrived at the scene, and four remained, Y/N realized as she took a kick in the gut and fell on her back, jumping back on her feet with a flip.

Jes' revolvers did the job for two others as she managed with the guy in front of her. "Come on, big guy, that can't be the best you got, aye?" she smiled wickedly, taunting the man with a daring hand despite the very much broken rib she could feel. The dress was ruined with blood she was sure wasn't hers, shreds ripped it off so largely one of her legs was now exposed.

He lunged forward, coming with a dirty blade to her throat, and she skipped it. Came again, now, aiming for her arm and she skipped it again, landing a kick on the throat that left him coughing on the ground. Y/N crouched to his level and grabbed him by the hair, sliding a knife in the same spot, careful not to cut. She noticed a tattoo on his neck, a beaver. Couldn't help but laugh. "You tell your boss not to mess around with us, or next time he won't get too lucky as to get less than half of his men in one piece. And change the tattoo, a bloody beaver? Seriously?"

The man nodded furiously, tripping on his way out of the warehouse. "A beaver? Their thing is beavers?" Jesper laughed, putting his babies back in place and making sure the painting they had stolen was still with him. "I know, couldn't pick a funnier thing" she answered, giggling. Looking around, something was odd. Yes, Y/N was not very well educated and lacked the month of college her best friend had, but she thought she counted four men remaining in this spot of the building.

The other six lay limp near the door, and there were two next to them, plus the one who ran with the message. One was missing. "Hey Jes I think we're missing one" "What do you mean? There's no one here". She stopped listening and her world went quiet when he met his yes. A lanky, tall figure could be seen next to a stack of boxes on her right, a flicking light revealing him for brief intervals of time. Ugly motherfucker carrying a gun that pointed straight at her.

The blood started gushing out of her leg before she could even react. "Too slow" she faintly heard. He wasn't stopping either; shooting at various places until one loud boom next to her made it cease. Was concrete always this cold? Oh, she was now feeling Jesper's soft suit. Warmer. "Is that wool?" Y/N asked and realized her voice sounded a little quieter than she meant. "Yes, it is doll. Open your eyes for me, okay? You can't die on me now"

She really tried. She really wanted to look at her best friends face and maybe hear him crack a joke or two. But her eyes felt droopy and her head felt heavy so she finally fell asleep.

˚ · • . ° .

Kaz arrived minutes later, Wylan, Nina and Inej by his side as they all rushed to a crying Jesper, desperately trying to wake Y/N up. "S-she got shot, didn't flinch.. like she didn't even see the bastard," he hiccuped, letting his boss take his place next to a limp body as his boyfriend helped him up and hugged him tightly.

Brekker's head spun. A thousand possibilities. There was blood all over the dress, and leaking over his clothes but he couldn't give a fuck. Not her. He couldn't bare it. Y/N was a piece of heaven in that saint forsaken island, the only saint he ever believed in and the angel that saved him from himself. If he lost her, there was no coming back for him. The water rose to his nose again for a brief moment.

It hadn't happened in a while. And he chose the techniques his lover taught him. He acted. "Nina" he mumbled, taking Y/N on his arms as the grisha girl assured him she had a pulse. His legs carried him to the slat, never too far from Nina, as she was making sure her pulse didn't slow down too much. He didn't even notice the pain in his bad leg. He felt a sting on his heart, so sharp it seemed as if pieces of broken glass would poke through it at any moment.

The boy sent Inej looking for whatever idiot decided it was a good idea to try and steal from them. Only information. He'd take care of them later. The Wraith left and was out all night, returning with a lot to say the next morning. Kaz looked over at Y/N's face and the utter peace that brushed over her features scared him even more. Not now. Not like this.

"Is she going to be okay? T-there was definitely something wrong with her back there" Jesper started once the girl was on the bed and getting healed with a few healers in the dregs and Nina. Kaz was sitting, head propped up in his hands as he stared at the wall opposite from him. "She didn't move! At all! He shot her three times and looked amused while doing it". The zemeni man had to stop if he wasn't trying to reunite with the other deceased blessed people on his bloodline. Kaz's stare hardened and his jaw clenched tightly.

"Wylan, I can't lose her. She was too slow a-" "ENOUGH" Kaz stood up, looking at him with murder in his eyes. "If you were more aware of the surroundings, she would be fine. Don't you dare call her slow. This is not her fault. You should've been there" menacing gloved finger pointing to his friend. "Oh, so this is my problem now?" Jesper countered in complete disbelief. "If you don't consider your best friend's life being at critical risk a problem you're much more of a superficial, incompetent and heartless bastard than I thought." Kaz spat.

He knew this wasn't Jesper's fault, maybe it was the lack of sleep or you just weren't on your element. But he had to let it out with someone. Anyone. Pain turns into anger and screaming at your brother when it's too strong. He knew that better than anyone and couldn't care to stop himself this time. "Kaz, stop" Wylan said, and then he noticed Jesper's puffy eyes with a sigh. Then he felt his own neck starting to tickle. He was crying. Kaz Brekker didn't cry.

"Out" "But Ka-" "I SAID OUT"

And out they were. Everyone who didn't need to be there to save his girl's life. He could hear Nina struggling between wrecked sobs, fast pacing around the room and a distant sound of water running non-stop. Hours passed, and he remained in the same position, in the same chair, with the same thoughts running wild inside him.

Not you. Please. I should've been there. I'm going to kill them. Please be okay. I can't do it without her. Please.

Kaz Brekker was repeating pleas, thinking out loud to whoever was listening. Let her live. Please let her live. This is not her fault. Not to a god, neither to those saints who proved to exist so many years ago. He didn't know who he was asking for help to. But he was screaming, please don't let her go. He was leaving with her if she did.

All sound stopped, and Nina emerged from the dimly lit room, drying her cheeks. The boy stood up, looking at her with the most terrified look he ever gave someone. Fuck the facade. He was utterly afraid. "She's okay, not waking up, but she will". He let out a breath he didn't know he was holding and couldn't help but throw himself into Nina's arms in search for some comfort to his wrecked sobs.

His friend received him with open arms, careful not to squeeze him too hard, as she knew that could trigger him. "I can't lose her, Nina" he whimpered before pulling away. "You're not. Not now and not soon. She's okay, Kaz. Stay with her, will you? She could be a little startled if she wakes up in an empty room"

He almost scoffed at that. What else would he do? A quiet nod was delivered, and he stepped inside to accompany her in an uncharacteristically unsettling silence. There were dirty gauzes everywhere, her dirty dress discarded in a corner and a blanket covering her figure. Kaz stopped, looking at your chest. It rose and fell in a moderate rhythm. Good.

Taking a seat once again, he held her hand and brushed a thumb over it, grateful to whoever listened. And Nina.

Sun bled through the curtains, filling it all with a pleasant orange hue Kaz knew Y/N would appreciate. Jesper came by every few hours and amends were made. He understood how badly everything hit Kaz the day before and didn't need an apology. They were all under intense pressure the day before, couldn't blame him for a such a reaction. Wylan had brought flowers and Inej made sure everything was ready for when she regained consciousness.

His crows got it handled.

A whole day and a half had gone by and he was reading beside her when she woke up. Her hand moved and he could feel the twitch in his palm, looking up frantically to find those pretty y/e/c eyes looking back at him. "Finally, got some sleep," she joked and laughed at her own joke. Kaz laughed back. "Hello" he offered, kissing her hand and never really wanting to let go "Hi". "Are you feeling okay?" the boy asked, happy to see his lover once again awake.

"It hurts a bit but I'll live" "I'm counting on that, my love". ♡

#kaz brekker fluff #kaz brekker x reader #kaz brekker fanfic #kaz brekker angst #kaz brekker fic #kaz brekker imagine #kaz brekker #six of crows #six of crows x reader #grishaverse x reader #shadwo and bone netflix #crooked kingdom #freddy carter #shadow and bone season two #sab s2

1K notes · View notes