#DIS IS BAD | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

saelique · 2 months

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not even titling dis cause I have no idea what I just wrote

strangers to friends with dazai osamu !! ft. atsushi !! reader works in a cafe <3 fem reader <33 NOT PROOFREAD cause m rlly lazy

that one weird guy you see on your way to your workplace when you’re driving your car was handsome up close. scarily and dangerously handsome.

damn. his short brown eyes and hair with a tall figure was enough to beg for his number. if you didn’t have self control, that is !

thankfully, your first impression of him was enough to keep you from asking his hand in marriage ! after all, who would want to get with a guy who jumps down a bridge in a attempt to commit suicide and does it everyday ?

“my name is dazai osamu, nice to meet you.”

oh god. even his voice is hot. really, you’re trying hard to focus at what he and his companion are saying and not to stare at his perfect face.

“so I see, uh- would you like to come in and inspect then ?” you managed to get the words out, smiling and opening the door to the cafe youre currently working in.

”of course ! thank you miss !” a young boy next to him bowed a bit. he was dressed weirdly as well. what’s his name again . . . ? atsushi nakajima, was it ? eh. it was fine, wasn’t like you’re gonna meet them again.

atsushi entered the cafe while dazai stood behind, clearly you didn’t know what he wanted to do so you opened the door a bit more. “mr. dazai ? would you like to come in ?”

“I was just thinking,” he leaned towards you, causing you to lean back, “would a beautiful lady like you commit double suicide with me-“ “dazai ! let’s just start the mission like the president said !” atsushi came back, quickly taking the arm of dazai. “sorry about that, he’s just . . .” “no, no, it’s okay. I understand.”

you didn’t.

they ended up leaving a bit later, dazai handing you a slip of paper with a contact on it. “you didn’t give me your answer, so ! call me if you would like to die together ~”

you accepted it with a awkward smile and a nod, clearly not knowing what to do. a part of you wanted to throw it away, but that one voice told you to keep it and call him. definitely not cause your love life is failing terribly like his suicide attempts !!!

you ended up following your impulsive thoughts.

you gulped when he answered your call. “hello ? who’s this ?” “uh- hello ? this is-“ “oh ! you’re that cafe lady ealier ! are you going to accept my proposal to die together ?” he sang, you heard the sounds of a tv and sheets rustling in the background as he shifted from his former laying position to a new, more comfortable one.

“I was just about to ask if you’re getting professional help.” shit. were you wrong though ? i mean- someone who attempts suicide can’t be mentally sane right ?

silence on the end of the call. you were just about to hang up from embarrassment before you heard him speak again. “nope ! are you gonna look one for me though ? professional help is really expensive and I can’t pay for luxuries like that.” “I literally work in a cafe. it’s minimum wage. you work as a detective. aren’t you supposed to receive much, much more ?” you scoffed, despite the conversation you were having, you had to admit that talking with him was . . . amusing, to say the least. fun, even.

“well, you can be my therapist. are you good at listening to people ? since you’re the one who suggested it after all ! okay ! let’s meet at your cafe ! I’ll arrive at six !” “wait I’m not-“ “see ya !” “. . . he hung up . . . “ you muttered to yourself in defeat.

oh well, his story can’t be that bad, right ?

he didn’t tell you anything in the end, only talking about his cases and about his fellow coworkers. it was entertaining though, you undoubtedly felt bad for atsushi and that guy he called kunikida.

“dazai ? it’s time for me to pack up and go, it’s like- nine now.” you got up from your chair, ready to escort him out. “really ? awh, I was having so much fun.” he whined, but got up from his chair all the same. “I’ll be back tomorrow ! see you belladonna !”

”see you.”

you waved, and closed the door to clean the cafe as you promised your boss. hmph. tomorrow huh ? you bit your lip to stop yourself from smiling but failed horribly.

“see you tomorrow, dazai.” you said to yourself, looking out the window to watch him head back to his apartment.

you should really stop falling for mentally unstable men.

#EWWWW #DIS IS BAD #AGHHHHHH #GONNA GO KMS #SJJDJSKSKS #౨ৎ⋆˚｡⋆ 📔 : novels !#dazai x reader #bsd x reader #bsd #bsd x fem eeader #Bsd x reader fluff #fluff

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goldiipond · 5 months

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if there's anything i've learned from the current state of social media it's that this is one of the worst possible notifications you can receive upon opening an app

#skye's ramblings #i thought you guys were exaggerating how ass-ugly the discord update is. why isn't this optional. what if we all died #big thanks to discord and tumblr for both making bad layout changes to their apps in the same week. i love complaining <3

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lilislegacy · 2 months

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frank: let me get this straight. thalia and jason’s domain is the sky, percy’s domain is water, and hazel and nico’s domain is basically the underground?

annabeth: yes

frank: but… can’t percy also create storms? that have clouds and lightning and thunder?

annabeth: yes

frank: and… and can’t percy also create earthquakes and make volcanoes erupt?

annabeth: yes

frank: so… in a way, doesn’t that mean everywhere is percy’s domain?

annabeth: yes.

annabeth: but don’t tell him. he hasn’t had that realization yet

#and it will be a bad day for his enemies when he finally does #percy is also the only one with healing/regeneration abilities #there is a reason many people say poseidon is more powerful than zeus #zeus is lucky poseidon has no interest in being king #percy be scary #but doesn’t realize it #percy jackson #heroes of olympus #percabeth #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo #annabeth chase #lol #jason grace #frank zhang #nico di angelo #dark!percy #seaweed brain

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cappycodeart · 7 months

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"The dead one! Yeah I haven't thought about her in a long time!"

A little theory I've had about Winter King's original motives based on his heartless comment about Betty and Ice King's original motives for kidnapping princesses in the first place...... clearly she gave off Bad Ex Vibes…

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queen-of-weird-girl-nation · 2 months

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Percy: why can’t we steal from the rich? We stole Jason from his camp?

Annabeth: we didn’t steal Jason, he’s free to do whatever he wants

Nico: we literally dragged him here?????

#Jason is crocheting in the corner #Boy hasn’t had a rest like ever #So this is nice #jason grace #heroes of olympus #percy jackon and the olympians #annabeth chase #percy jackson #nico di angelo #pjo incorrect quotes #riordanverse #my child <3 #jason grace my child #percy jackson and the olympians #pjo fandom #rick riordan #I’m bad at incorrect quotes

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theprinceofdarknesssquad · 9 months

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Nico: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast? Percy: Several traffic violations. Jason: Three counts of resisting arrest. Leo: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks. Frank: Also, that’s not our car.

#pjo #nico di angelo #percy jackson #hoo #percy jackson and the olympians #heroes of olympus #jason grace #toa #solangelo #trials of apollo #frank zhang #leo mcshizzle bad boy supreme #leo valdez #i can imagine the guys doing that #someone write a fanfic about this!!#incorrect quotes generator #pjo incorrect quotes

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xiewho · 1 month

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no time to celebrate

#drew this thinking their bdays were during night yorb summer for some reason #i went looking for the clip midway and when i saw it was the other way around i kinda died a little inside #BUT I AM NOTHING IF NOT COMMITTED !!!!#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fantasy high junior year #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #so anyways we can pretend this is a time quangle thing yes yes #they fall asleep making the solar lasso and no one has it in them to wake them up (esp riz)#so the rest of the bad kids leave them stuff for when they wake up #joint birthday party is real and depressing ! but not really ! the power of friendship is still very real #dont ask me the logistics of the hangvan interior ill die #i dont wanna thnk about this piece anymore it aged me 10 years #my art

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ezrisdax-archive · 4 months

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yeah I'm a serious gamer

*plays oregon trail on the oregan travel website*

#look only one person died this trip so like...not bad

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twinstxrs · 1 month

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so much happened in this whole episode but i’m still on fig infiltrating ruben’s dream, making it look like the place where his friend was murdered, and then disguising herself as kipperlilly & repeatedly saying different variants of “somebody needs to take the fall for this, and it’s not going to be me. it’s going to be you.” while adaine as the elven oracle shows up next to her. can you imagine waking up from that, the idea of a horrible truth being pinned on you by your friend to save her own skin while the personification of fate and destiny stands there, almost as a promise that this is GOING to happen to you. we don’t even know if this kid is guilty. my god.

#fantasy high #dimension 20 #fhjy #fhjy spoilers #fantasy high junior year #fig faeth #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #the rat grinders #adaine abernant #kipperlilly copperkettle #watching fig terrorize him like girl!!! we don’t even know if he’s guilty!!!!#this might just be for me but i do not think 5 teenagers willingly brutally killed their friend idk #like there just has to be some other element to it and i am very scared to find out what that was #what if they were put in a position where they felt there was/there was no other choice… like oh my god #my comedy brain is having fun but my ‘this is a teenager’ brain is in such deep distress all the time this season #the rat grinders i trust brennan to not make u cartoonishly evil so i am holding u as gently as i can in my confused shaky hands #also with the devil’s nectar i’ve been wondering why they all seem so well-adjusted & now i’m curious if they’ve been intentionally-#changing their memories in a way so that either the trauma is lesser or they think they aren’t guilty. idk #but it seems like from how gertie was talking she was making it more recently so the well adjustedness from early jy doesn’t quite add up #they could have another source maybe??? idk i’m just low stakes 4 a.m. spitballing here #there’s also the strong possibility that they’re aware of what happened but they weren’t the ones who killed lucy. idk who knows #the way you could probably devil’s nectar yourself into believing it wasn’t your fault someone died… CRAZY IMPLICATIONS!!! CRAZY IDEA!!!#anyways the bad kids & the rat grinders don’t ever have to like each other but i do wonder if at least some of those kids deserve a chance

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moechies · 21 days

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giving older bsf toji a bj cs u dont have any money on u for gas 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

oh mi gosh. dis is absolutely so filthy ‘nd absolutely perfect for him . dis is how grimy he is in my mind.. (modern au where toji is RICH $$)

“toji.”

“hm, darling?” you look upon the questioning man sitting besides you, one strong hand that guides the steering wheel of your own car. he insisted to drive, and in what position would you say no? you’d never pass up an offer to be passenger princess.

“i-i forgot.”

“forgot what?”

“forgot money for gas, toji.”

“are ya dumb sweetheart? goin’ t’get gas n the one thing ya forgot is gas money?”

“‘m s-sorry toji, can you lend me? please? promise i won’t forget next time!”

he scoffs, knowing well that he would’ve paid nonetheless. but watching you nervously scramble yourself together, anticipating a response from him is too adorable, he thinks.

“yeah, but ya gotta pay me back.”

“course i will! gonna give it back as soon as we ge-“

“no sweetie. not with money.”

your head turns slow to the man, already shooting you a evil-intentioned smirk. his free hand comes down to scarce over the evident bulge that pokes through his sweats, indirectly instructing you.

“with your mouth, honey.”

he chuckles when your face flushes red, how unexpecting.

with over 3 years of close friendship, the man had assumed that you at least would’ve noticed; his stares that pierce into your skin, touches that linger a little too long, and the constant absence of your favorite panties. what a naive little thing you were; he loved it.

if you didn’t know his true intentions then, you’d definitely know now.

“c’mon, y’want me to fill it up right?”

“t-“

“the car sweetie. don’t you want gas?”

you huff when he chuckles at your flustered expression. your small fingers dance across his bulge, his own hand messily slipping under the band of his sweats, releasing himself. he can’t help the smile that spreads across his face when you gasp, fawn like eyes that immediately shoot up to meet his gaze.

“s-so big..”

“mm, you think so?” he teases.

his hand slithers to the back of your head, fingers playing with one or two strands of your hair.

“c’mon, be good..”

he smiles at you coyly, desperate even, and it makes your heart and your cunt clench.

with slight pressure from the man’s hand, you find yourself lowering onto the tip of his cock. your puffy lips press against the warm slit, an immediate groan that spills from his lips,

“no action recently?” you tease, facing him with a slight smile,

“shaddup princess. yer lucky you’re cute.”

you snicker, separating your slicked up lips to wrap around the thick of his cock head. your tongue presses against the slit once again, tasting the sweet substance that coats his dewy slit; more that spews from the teasing licks.

“don’t t-tease.”

you hold yourself further onto his cock to accommodate his length, a light gag that elicits from your throat. tears brim in your eyes when you feel your jaw begin to ache, but the needy man pays no mind when he begins thrusting into your warmth.

oh and when he feels a warm tear fall onto the skin of his thigh, he nearly cums.

“heh.. there you go, see? ya can do it.”

you hum around him, the light sensation that drills right through his sensitive cock.

“g-gunna cum. shit.”

and with a few shallow thrusts, his cum brims. it’s warm, and thick, but you swallow without a second thought. you pull yourself off to meet your eyes with his, vision daisy and face flushed with a sweet pink once again.

“hah.. gonna have to fill you up, darling. we’ll worry about the car later, kay?”

#dis got kinda long but kinda bad . . soz :<#jjk #jjk smut #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen smut #toji fushiguro x reader #fushiguro toji x reader #toji <3 #toji smut #jujutsu toji #jjk toji #jujutsu kaisen toji #toji zenin #toji fushiguro #toji x reader #toji fushiguro smut #drabbles ⋆⑅˚₊#requests ୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ

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timetodiverge · 2 months

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You kids BETTER BEHAVE or Ma will wave The Screwdriver at you again!!

#MUM IS BACK YAYYYYYY #crosshair taunting hunter ahhhhh I DIED #words cannot describe how happy I am to have Echo back #he instantly has to step in and start breaking up fights again ahahahaha #tbb spoilers #the bad batch spoilers #tbb #the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb echo #tbb hunter #tbb crosshair

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rumov · 26 days

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they play volleyball and all 3 of them cheat

#pjo #nico di angelo #percy jackson #jason grace #drawing #i need it to be summer so bad u don’t even know 😭#nico makes them get stuck in the sand jason makes the ball go off course and percy gets saltwater in their eyes

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beanghostprincess · 3 months

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"Kuina's death is ridiculous" yes! That's the point! You do realize that falling down the stairs is a way of showing Zoro how fragile human lives are, right? You are aware that the point of Kuina's character is the unfairness of the world towards women in comparison to the privileges men have, like living in itself and fulfilling their dreams, right? You know that Kuina's death is "ridiculous and dumb" because it's meant to show that even the strongest person Zoro knew could die from something so little, right? You understand that the value Zoro gives to life is fucking immense, right? Right?? You realize Zoro can't seek revenge because nobody took her away from him and now the only thing he can do is become the world's greatest swordsman to avenge her death, right? You get that Zoro's character is an atheist because he doesn't believe in anyone and he can only rely on himself when it comes to Kuina's sudden death, right? You are aware that sometimes people die in the simplest of ways and that doesn't make them weak because death doesn't discriminate, right? You know that all of these things are what make Zoro's character so interesting and important, right? Right??? You know, right?

Well, of course you fucking don't because if you knew you wouldn't be saying her death is ridiculous <3

#if i see somebody else complaining about this i am going to throw hands i swear to god #sorry i just saw a bad take in here and i couldn't stay quiet #it's the most basic thing about zoro's character why are people complaining #'his backstory is boring' well i think YOU are boring and also don't have good taste #i am a zoro defender for life and his backstory with kuina is amazing shutupshutup #stop trying to find a weird dark theory abt her death. you won't find anything. that's just it. she died.#she fell down the stairs and died and it's a great story let kuina rest in peace #one piece #roronoa zoro #shimotsuki kuina

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stoat-party · 10 days

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From “He’s just another reg” to “Relax. Echo’s on it.”